#ANYWAYS SCAR'S WIN NEVER FUCKING LEFT MY MIND

[raticalshoez]

hey, isn't that that one guy with no friends?

(Click on image for better quality !!!)

[suguru-getos]

//fractures// geto suguru x f!reader // chapter 2

🔗-> part one

warnings: hurt-comfort, mentions of wounds, mentions of stitches, guilt, complex emotions from suguru, panic attacks, reader is in a dark headspace, fluff too!! 🙂‍↔️💅🏻

story summary: being a monkey is the norm except when you're captured by geto sama because he needs money from your parents. however, you may just have to suffer a little extra because of the forced thinking about the right and wrongs... you're putting him through. the affection you’re forcing him through…

chapter summary: suguru tends to you after the whole ordeal caused by him, still conflicted & somehow tortured with the way his heart pangs at your condition. 🩷

a/n: please comment down below if you want to be tagged in the taglist <3 thank you ‼️ it's so evident that i'm just writing this for my own silly liddul heart TT_TT

an hour, at maximum. an hour had passed from when geto left your bleeding, tattered body on the bed. the mark of 'MONKEY' with deep, gashing cuts and the way your blood oozed out of your injured, broken skin was haunting his very core. he did it majorly for himself, just to remind himself that you're one. you're nothing but a monkey and monkeys shouldn't have the freedom of life. monkeys are filthy- monkeys breed curses- monkeys are disgusting and vile- monkeys-

his own feet betrayed him quickly when he found himself running for your room. the cream colored satin bedsheet stained with blood. your foot prints stained with blood directing towards the bathroom. his can feel his heart sink at the sheer amount of blood loss. jaw clenching and a soft wave of anxiety which ripens with every passing moment hugging him. did you… die? no, no its just been an hour-

he rushes to the bathroom door, watching you lay limp, holding a piece of gauze in your bloodied hands. you must have passed out by trying to give yourself first aid. he falls to his knees, tears in his eyes seeping through at the sight of usual color in your lip faded to discoloration. you look so peaceful when you sleep. he finally notices the wound inflicted by him on you, it was looking lethal. a striking reminder that you were a monkey and he was, well, a monster.

he doesn't understand what's happening, he was pretty clear that he needs to irradicate the whole human race, he has to. only those with superior selves, who can withstand not creating a curse should be allowed to live. how will he achieve this milestone when his heart weeps at the sight of one pathetic little human half his size losing consciousness.

his bulky and sturdy arms wrap around your body, hugging you closer to him and taking you to his room. your room was a blood bath anyway, he needs to ask the servants to clean it up. gently placing your body atop the plush mattress of his room, he took out his first aid kit, good thing you had been passed out. your wounds are deep and require stitches. he can't bear any more of your screams now without breaking like glass. his mind has already decided to punish him with repeated rings and episodes of your cries and wails when suguru did this to you. he wishes they could stop - he wishes they never stop. he needs to be punished.

bringing your wrist close to him, he decides to stitch those gashes up, watching your face every few seconds. you were knocked out cold, not an expression on your pretty face. he feels like it’s a win, when you'll be awake, at least you wouldn't see the word 'MONKEY' engraved on you… then again, it will scar, and it will scar bad. "you're pathetic" he hums at your sleeping form. "fragile, useless, powerless, pathetic." he adds on, the sentence more a reminder to his own self rather than for you. you're not listening to this anyway. "I could snap your neck like a twig and you wouldn't be able to defend yourself. anyone I call my family could." he sighs, fuck - he's tearing up again. you almost look dead over just an anger tantrum of his. he really needs to be very careful. you're like a little bunny who could die at the slightest bit of carelessness.

a few hours pass with suguru holding your hand, observing the crests and troughs of your sleeping face, how your chest barely heaves but still reminds him that you're alive. he couldn't be more glad that you're alive. he hates that. he hates that it brings him joy that your heart is still beating. he hates that you are bringing him joy and copious amounts of guilt.

"geto sama!" nanako gleams from outside his bedroom door. he wipes his tears at the sound of his adopted daughter's voice. "yes? what is it?" he hums from inside. "the monkey isn't in her room!" she pouts from outside, and suguru gets up to open his door. the teenager watching you lie down on geto's bed with a face of confusion. why were you laying down on 'their' geto sama's room? you- a monkey- the look of disgust in her face is inevitable.

"relax, nanako." he hums, "we need to return her to her parents after 9 days." he responds with his usual close-eyed feline smile. "yeah, but why is she here?" she pouts, "she's too pretty for a monkey though-" a frown envelopes her face. "I agree." suguru looks at you momentarily, a moment of longing and guilt erupting from the depths of his heart before quickly snapping out of it. "I got angry at her, and punished her." he continues, while nanako could see with the way the gauze bandage on your forearm was inflicted with dark reds of blood, that you indeed, were punished. "what did she do?" she asks instinctively and suguru gnaws at his lower lip.

nothing. you did absolutely nothing.

"well, she is a monkey after all." nanako adds, shrugging. "her purpose is as our 'money collecting monkey', isn't it?" she asks him, and he faintly nods. "well, if she really made you angry, geto sama. I suggest you can kill her after getting the money!" she chirps as if it was the most normal thing to say. suguru, on the other hand, feel sickened to his stomach at the thought. "hmm. I need some time alone, nanako" he declares, watching the teen leave his room and locking his door.

he's quick to grace himself in the sanctuary of your presence though, hand back holding yours. "just nine more days of you here, monkey." he reminds both of you. "then your parents will come and get you and this wouldn't exist." he smiles, a sadness spreading across his face.

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you don't wake up for one and a half days. the exhaustion on your body, the lack of nutrition and the loss of blood demands rest. AND, geto suguru is absolutely tweaking!

he sat next to you, watching you gently, leaning beside you against the headboard. you didn't wake up. he hasn't showered, hasn't gone out of his bed. his family thinks its weird, but they don't push him. suguru is a tantrum king after all, and a pissed off suguru chan is best avoided. the next morning, you're awake before noon. suguru hasn't budged, he has declined all his meetings, all his catch-ups, everything. why? he doesn't know that now, his mind doesn't give him the time to reason for any of it right now. the hollow pit of anxiety that was created was now a bottomless one. he wanted relief from it, he wanted to see you awake! shoko- maybe he needs to talk to shoko-

you shifted a little and his attention is immediately diverted to you, looking at you with the biggest sigh of relief possible. "ah-" a pained whimper escaped you, it hurts everywhere. your ribs hurt, you can barely breathe, tears sting your eyes as you groan, trying to get up. the lack of iron in your body making you dizzy. "good morning, it's afternoon now." suguru hums, just 7 days with you. why is he counting days like a mad man in prison?! before you could process anything, your eyes widened when you heard his voice, heart fluttering out of your very chest and breathless pants echoing in the room. you gripped your chest, it burns, your lungs burn from the lack of air your body can't get due to the whole panic of it all. what will he do? will he hurt you again? fuck- your head hurts, everything hurts- "plea- please" you gasp out, the veins in your forehead strained and popping as you began wailing again. shrieks and cries of pain and panic.

suguru doesn't know what to do about it, he needs to hug you close and tell you it's going to be okay. he wouldn't hurt you. he feels sorry- you don't have to break apart like this- does he even deserve to say that?

instinct… he is just acting on his instinct now.

"breathe with me, ssh~ listen, listen, little one. look at me, breathe with me. deep breath in- come on- follow me-" his voice is soft, but you're inconsolable. you have your very own instinct, the instinct to flee from him. the instinct to run away from him. you struggle against his hold and choke on sobs, leaning away. suguru is quick to pull you back to him, your head against his chest, soft head pats coming after. "ssh ssh ssh~ nothing's happening, no one's going to hurt you." he echoes it repeatedly. "that's it, that's it…" his own rapid heartbeats turning calmer and calmer as your shoulders slump back in exhaustion. you stop resisting after a few minutes, letting him hold you softly.

"just seven more days, and you'll be home." suguru hums to comfort you.

"I hope you die." you mumbled with equal hatred to his comfort. may as well be killed instead of spending seven whole days with him… "I hope everyone you ever knew dies, and they die in front of you." you spit out in your venom laced tone after calming down, trying to lean away from suguru's hug.

"and? who will kill them? you?" he is almost amused, but nothing you say with outweigh his guilt right now. "let’s get you cleaned up and get you to a doctor." he announces. he still has 7 ol' days with you after all.

[wannaeatramyeon]

More Gun + Goo Shenanigans

Credit Card

The first message came through at 8am.

Accompanied with 'oops, forgot mine. using yours. hope you don't mind 🥺🫰 '

And usually Gun would mind. He would mind a whole fucking lot. But when you're in a junkyard moulding your masterpiece, having left most of your usual everyday carry at home. Well. You have bigger fish to fry. Or a smaller Daniel Park to cook.

Besides, it's probably just an energy drink anyway if the amount and the blonde's habits are anything to go buy. Gun can let it slide just for today, that for some reason Goo has desided to forgo any contactless payment and use Gun's card. Whatever.

And then the next messages from his bank continue to come through.

8:32am: Coffee shop - 8000 won

8:56am: Coffee shop - 8000 won

9:17am: Coffee shop - 8000 won

9:25am: Coffee shop - 8000 won

9:30am: Coffee shop - 8000 won

9:33am: Coffee shop - 8000 won

9:34am: Coffee shop - 8000 won

Ok. That's enough.

Gun angrily dials Goo. Seriously. "What the fu-"

"Sup man!" Goo sounds completely manic and shrill. Likely about to buzz out of his head.

"Did you just pound 7 coffees and an energy drink?"

"7 doubles and an energy drink," the voice on the other end corrects.

"I'm cancelling my card."

"No wait-"

Family friendly

"What you crying for kid? Never seen someone so handsome before?" Goo flashes his most winning smile. The one where it's all teeth and maybe a touch feral.

Understandably, the kid, probably no older than 8, wails even louder.

What. the. fuck.

That's what you get for trying to be family friend huh. Goo starts scowling at her, now inconsolable with fear.

Honestly. How dare she take one look at his face and burst out into tears.

Where the fuck are her parents.

Gun would have intervened; they have places to be, things to do. If only the whole situation wasn't so entertaining.

Especially as he now looks over and finds his partner in a bizarre stand-off where Goo's face darkens the more the kid cries, and the kid cries the more terrifying Goo's face becomes.

"This lil motherfucker-" Wait. A lightbulb goes off in Goo's head and he forces all the cheer he can into his voice. "Kid, come look at this!"

She looks up just in time to see Goo whipping the sunglasses from Gun.

Her daddy has warned her about this. The red scar. The eyes. Pitch black. DEMON.

She runs off screaming and flailing as Goo cackles.

Hospital

"Why is it when something happens, it's always you two."

"Just want to see your pretty face again, cutie!"

The elderly nurse sighs. She's experienced far too much, is too weather beaten, for Goo Kim's flowery words to have any effect on her.

Completing her last rounds before her shift finishes, she just wants to finish and then go. Have a bath. Lie in bed. Lo and behold, she has these two idiots appearing once more in the private wing.

Hmm. It had been a few weeks since she last saw them.

She rifles through the clipboard, checking the doctor's notes. "So what are you in for?"

"Fighting." Gun, on the next bed, answers.

"...And you both ended up with neck braces?"

"Yep! We got a little rough. You know how these things are," Goo chirps, light tone contrasting with his eyes angrily glaring at Gun.

"...It says pillow fight here."

"Yep!"

That doesn't sound right. " And what were the pillows filled with?"

A brief pause, where they exchange shifty glances before piping up together, "Rocks."

Outfits

"That looks great on you,"

"I know."

Gun ignores Crystal fawning over Goo. Completely ignores them and the vein throbbing on his temple.

He absolutely will not concern himself with such juvenile things.

Barely remembers the first time he wore the same outfit, picking Crystal up and accompanying her to J-High, she took one look at his outfit and held back a giggle.

He doesn't give a shit. He has more important things to think about.

Or when Goo raided his wardrobe, rifling through outfits, laughed at this monstrosity and then asked if he could have it, Gun just shrugged. He has no attachment to it.

And now Gun absolutely doesn't care that Goo is on the receiving end for his outfit.

Who gives a shit.

Gun Park is above this nonsense. So what if he is daydreaming about strangling the life out of Goo in that stupid shirt and stupid scarf.

It's no different than usual, he always fantasises about killing Goo.

It's fine.

And one I accidentally deleted: Spice Eating Contest

"...What's wrong with you two?" Kouji, face completely repulsed, watches his two hyungs scarfing down the ramen in front of him.

The store's spiciest, apparently. Renowned, Crystal had said. Three please, Kouji had asked. And when it arrived? Disappointment. Spicy? Not by a long shot. Barely even having any heat.

The same can't be said for Gun and Goo's palate, tears streaming down their sweaty beet red faces, snot flowing freely and ew. Likely mingling with everything else.

"It's not spicy at all!" Goo spits, mouth full of ramen and glowering at Gun.

"Who said it was spicy, idiot." Gun retaliates, eyes leaking even more as he shoves in another mouthful.

"Umm. Guys. You need to be careful-" Kouji tries, but to no avail. Both now too busy trying to swallow inbetween coughing fits.

Oh well.

He did try to warn them.

Guess they will just have to deal with the aftermath once the spice works its way through their digestive system and wrecks their body for a second time.

[bloom-ribbon22]

Bloom's Dinotrux HUMAN AU infodump: D-Bros + Skrap-itt

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I know I already posted them but I still wanna put em here + front facing D-Structs(unrelated note: don't usually do front faces much, I have tried it probably two times and it either ends up looking weird or just not right but I do like how it turned out this time! hmm maybe I should do more characters front facing).

anyways, I've always wanted to infodump share some bits of lore, facts, info, and other stuff of my human AU version of the Dinotrux and I kind of started with the D-bros + Skrap-itt, why? ngl they're one of the most interesting characters to me. soooooo here you go :)

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D-Stroy:

-when D-Structs was born, D-Stroy looked at his parents while pointing at his new baby sibling and asked "mom, dad.... why does he look so ugly?"

-a very mischievous kid back then. he was the ultimate pranker. he pranks a lotta people that he almost lost count of them but his favourite pranking victim is you guessed it! ya boi D-Structs! oh poor poor young, bratty, selfish D-Structs... always having silly stuff drawn on his face when he was asleep and almost getting scared to death everytime his brother just jumpscares him...I'd list more but this is getting way too long lol.

-hair is l o n g and messy af. you can probably store/hide items in there idk.

-has a high tolerance for spicy food and also enjoys eating it.

-even as a kid, he always gets into fights and still does which results to him always receiving new scars/injuries. almost never minds it because with all honesty he doesn't really give a shit what he looks like. even though he is incredibly strong, he knows his limits and also knows he isn't invincible or indestructible so he tries his best not to overestimate his strength and avoid battles if he knows he can't win it.

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D-Structs:

-was already a selfish guy when he was a bratty little kid and a bit of a snitch too. when he was five and D-Stroy would do something to him, even something that's completely harmless like slightly nudging his arm this left D-Structs no choice but to use a move that every older sibling fears "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

-heavily dislikes the taste of sweets. can't really handle it, the taste of sugar and the feeling of it melting into his tongue is just....sickening, maybe even irritating...in fact, it's unbearable....

-similarly to D-Stroy, he often gotten to a lotta fight even as a kid and still does which ends up getting himself new scars/injuries. most of these fights are pretty much his fault as most of the time he's the one that's starting/asking for it.

-"I'd rather live my life all alone until I die" that's what he thought to himself until Skrap-itt came to his life. story between them was kinda similar to the canon. it was so hard for him to tolerate this talkative and dumb lil pipsqueak but as time goes on he kind of started to get used to his company that it feels oddly weird whenever he's alone... sometimes...after all, Skrap-itt was the only one that gives a fuck about him...

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Skrap-itt:

-short king. you can kick him like he's a football or better yet, pick him up like he's some kind of cat and maybe even put him in a box, seal it shut, and deliver it to any random person. "your order is here"

-a cat person. he understands them, he knows they're not just annoying animals always whining for food 24/7, they are loving and caring too! they're not just, y'know, not that playful...at least..most of the time...he would adopt a cat but sadly D-Structs not really a big fan of pets in his home.

-was the weird lonely kid who often gets picked on a lot and many avoided him because, again, a weirdo and thus lived a pretty lonely life. Smash-itt, Break-itt and Lloyd are often the ones picking on him which would explain why Skrap-itt is so bitter to them when he meets them again, worse part is that D-Structs, though completely unaware of their history, """hired""" them.

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that's all for now, there will be plenty more(and I may add more stuff) and of course I'll make some for Ty and the gang :) fun but not needed fact: I started to type all of this with 11 percent battery and now it's 7 percent....dang

anyways I'm coming back to school at January 3 and I'm scared af sidbdiebsisbisbsisjd-

[ipreferfiction]

Jiggy.

MY SPECIAL LITTLE GUY MY BLORBO LOVE OF MY LIFE. i am insane about him. he is the character of all time

My first impression: huh. i don't know what's going on here but he seems interesting and competent.

My impression now: i would kill and die for him. he is my favorite character in mdzs and one of my favorites EVER. he has so many layers!! a-yao....

Favorite thing about that character: he's COMPETENT. to an absolutely insane degree. learning what he did about cultivation from shitty useless manuals and forming a golden core as an older teenager/young adult takes an INSANE amount of talent, not to mention HENSHENG??? he is the only (named?) character to have a soft sword, he's adapted bits of fighting styles from multiple major sects, and he's skilled enough with Hensheng that at some point he has shattered multiple spiritual weapons with it. he was a spy under WEN FUCKING RUOHAN for months. he and wwx are entirely responsible for winning the sunshot campaign and he dealt the final blow. also what he did with the song of turmoil?? equally insane amount of talent.

Least favorite thing: the Bad TakesTM. he attracts them like FLIES

Favorite line/scene: Lan Xichen! In this life, I’ve lied countless times, killed countless times. Like you said, I killed my father, my brother, my wife, my son, my teacher, my friend—of all the evil in the world, what haven’t I done?!...But I’ve never even thought of harming you!

i am very normal about them.

honestly his entire Guanyin Temple showing is nuts in the best way and i am chewing on him. close seconds are him on the stairs of Jinlintai looking at Nie Mingjue and going, of course they and I are different! the utter RESIGNATION of it. the truth of it!! he will never be treated like the rest of the cultivation world, he knows it, and Mingjue can't see it like he does!

Favorite interaction that character has with another: every time he and xichen are on screen or on page together is just. so nuts. the box scene. guanyin temple (god!!!!!!!!!! augh). everything cql added in.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: Qin Su!! she needs more time anyway but god their relationship is SO TRAGIC and i love looking at AUs where the whole marriage can be avoided and there aren't lasting scars left on both jgy and qs from. you know. accidentally marrying your half sibling because your shared father is a rapist. also, we get zero real looks at how their relationship is before everything goes south and it pains me.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: this is so fucking hard oh my god. there are bits of He Xuan and Ling Wen that i see in him, i think? especially the. "i was born the same day as you and i am cleverer than you but my life was a tragedy and yours was perfect, so why was I not worthy of the same fate you were? why did I get nothing when you got everything?" and the "you know what? I am tired of cleaning up your messes. i am going to cause problems now." he also... i cannot explain this one but his vibes are very similar to Alexander of Tirragen from the Song of the Lioness quartet in my mind. i genuinely truly cannot comprehend WHY those two are associated in my brain, but they are.

A headcanon about that character: he was in love with Xichen and Xichen was in love with him. god bless the cql xiyao agenda.

A song that reminds of that character: lying beast by run river north - it reminds me very much of what he would think of himself esp. towards the end (and guanyin temple)

An unpopular opinion about that character: he and Mingjue's relationship could not have been fixed, or at least not without considerable effort on Mingjue's part, post-Sunshot and especially around the time of the stairs before JGY starts playing turmoil. JGY did not need to put more effort into it! he was already putting effort into it! Mingjue's worldview is fundamentally incompatible with JGY's existence, frankly. It never mattered how hard he tried to mend the relationship because Mingjue would always see him as a liar who was trying to manipulate him, and the sworn brotherhood was not a good idea, Xichen, good god.

Favorite picture: all of them but especially these. i support his wrongs (he has never done anything wrong ever in his life). he is the prettiest man alive and yet!! he suffers! but oh god his thousand yard stare after Mingjue kicks him down the stairs...

[squidkid15]

PLEASE do ramble more about Whumpee Macaque and LBD and Mayor as whumpers please please I am sitting with popcorn and begging you with Eyes.

I'm not in a coherent mood so this won't be connected but have a collection of unrelated thoughts. Mostly fanon/HCs (but not all!)

consider, if you will, if the mayor is the one that killed macaque and not wukong (and then LBD warped that memory)

Consider again, if you will, if the mayor was there to collect him when he was revived

continue considering mac needing to be trained after being revived. Has to learn to function half blind. Any long-term injuries he now needs to adapt to (in Core mac had to go from right to left handed because he can't SEE his right hand well anymore, but then first had to recover from the injury that destroyed his left shoulder. It was a long road). Balance being fucked up, lack of depth perception. Having to relearn how to fight with all that.

Needing a sparring partner, perhaps. Consider for me that the man who killed him "helps" him recover from it. Mac doesn't know this.

Consider the scar that killed him being really sensitive. The mayor knows exactly where it is. Can drop him in an instant.

Mayor constantly beating him down while "training" him to recovery. Mocking him, digging into the wound of wukong killing him. ("So weak, no wonder he discarded you.")

Mayor knowing mac uncomfortably well, and abusing this knowledge

LBD knowing mac uncomfortably well, but in a different way. Mayor knows mac's powers and scars and weaknesses, knows his body and how to bring him down, because he already has. LBD knows his mind, warped it and twisted it. Sifted through memories to twist them appropriately. Knows him inside and out.

At least one of them knew Mac liked theater, how else would the Mayor know to check a run down shadow play theater for him? What an odd place to look for a monkey who is, presumably, on the run from you.

I HC that the mayor has some sort of paralysis/freezing power - see Shadowplay where Mac just freezes when the mayor grabs him. Imagine the fun there :)

Mac is so genuinely terrified of LBD/his debt to her - that is his entire motivation in S3. It's not personal, sure he's mad at Wukong still, but that's not what drives him. Every time we see him, he talks about "being free of his debt". And in benched he is TERRIFIED of her, bargains the fire when she has him chained up, you can hear it in his voice. What has she done to him to earn that? We NEVER see Mac scared, even fighting possessed Wukong he's not scared. LBD instills a fear in him that we never see otherwise.

She seems able to cause psychic pain (the winning side - dragging mac through flashbacks we see him tense and frozen and then slumps when she lets him go)

Speaking of that scene, it opens with mac SCREAMING. We hear him scream before we see anything.

I can't not mention the ice covering. The time limit, the way that that is the most serious we ever see mac. That he knocks MK out to get him out of the way, threatens everyone's lives for it. She's put a timer on his head (we see the ice expand) and it HURTS. He keeps holding the arm covered in ice when he talks to Wukong, he stumbles. He's in pain and on a timer and panicking.

And, if you feel like indulging in AUs (as you all know I do) then LBD is a real fun whumper if you stick her and mac in a room for longer than they're shown in the show. @lotusmonkey and I have delved that particular rabbit hole MANY times it's one of my favorites.

Can I interested you in this

How about this

What about this one

Have you read my fic? There's some mac whump scenes with mayor as whumper and I'm normal about it

Anyways long story short I have more thoughts I'm just scatterbrained about it today but i will always talk about mac whump

Here have one more because I always use Incredibly Specific Language when talking about LBD whumping mac

[amihyperfixatingagain]

A love confession

“I threw that fight… with the halfling.” I blurt it out without thinking. Her face says she was lost in her own thoughts before I interrupted. 

“What?”

“The halfling,” I poke the fire with my stick, trying to decide how to continue, “I could’ve beat him without even breaking a sweat. A couple good punches, and he would’ve been out. It was supposed to be short and sweet. Something to keep the people entertained between the bigger fights that night. Everyone put their money on me to win, but I fucked it up.”

The firelight dances across her face as she sits there staring at me. She’s focused. I continue. 

“It was just one of those days. I couldn’t stop thinking about my sister, and I got stuck in my brain. I purposefully missed punches. I left my flanks open and took blows I should’ve easily dodged. It’s not like he hit hard, but he was fast. I think he knew he would lose, and that’s why he brought those claws. Anything to give himself even the slimmest chance.” I pause, holding the memory behind my eyes and reliving the burn of the claws raking up my face. “These scars remind me daily of my failures. How I couldn’t save my sister. I wanted to feel something so bad; I just had to go and make it permanent.” a nervous chuckle escapes, trying to mask the anxiety in my stomach. “But I’d much rather have these scars than lose someone I love again.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” Her words were soft, full of gentle curiosity. 

“I would take all the scars in the world to keep you. Any slice. Any stab. Any tear of my flesh, I would take it tenfold for you. To keep you safe. To keep you alive. To love you.”

———

After debating posting this for a hot minute and with the kind encouragement from an internet stranger and from my dear friend who told me to post it to begin with, I decided to finally share a piece of writing. I've never considered myself a writer (I'm very much a math kid), but this OC has been living in my head rent-free for years. I could easily talk about her for hours, as I'm sure many people could about their own OCs.

For a smidge of context, my OC, Aly, is a half-elf fighter in a D&D 5e campaign (I don't want to hear anything about us playing 5e; get over it). She has existed at the edges of my mind for as long as I can remember, but I only finally discovered her name and wrote a fully fleshed-out backstory a few years ago. Anyway, she and my DM's PC, Christina, are stuck in a slow burn (I love it so much), and I have been ruminating on how Aly might admit she loves Christina in the future. Hence the above.

Beyond this first piece of writing, I've written a POV of Aly's "Canon Event," as I like to call it, and almost 30 poems from her perspective. I've even painted her a few times. Maybe someday I'll be brave enough to share those too.

If you made it this far, my appreciation for you is more than words could describe. Thank you for reading.

[another-whump-sideblog]

Jane’s Pets Chapter 62: Scars

TWs in the tags

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Master stopped Puppy from making breakfast this morning. “We’re not going to eat today.” She said.

Puppy hoped that the ‘we’ doesn’t include Kitty, but it did. The two of them play the Game of Life to get their mind off the hunger.

“Is it bad that I wish Bunny were here?” Kitty asks softly. “Obviously I don’t want him to suffer, but I miss him.”

Puppy shrugs. She’s long past wondering what wishes are ‘bad.’

“I hope he’s okay. It would suck if after all this he doesn’t even get some happy memories. I hope it’s worth it.”

They both know it won’t be, but they can hope.

That night, Jane asks the both of them a long series of questions about their emotional and physical state, and writes down the answers.

“My therapist wants me to see how eating regularly will impact my mood. But first I want to collect data on how not eating impacts my mood, and compare it to how not eating impacts mortals’ moods. Obviously a sample size of two isn’t great, but this is just for fun. I’ve done experiments like this before, anyway. I just know Peyton will be a bitch about it if my data isn’t recent. So! We’ll do this for a week, and then we’ll all eat three times a day for a week and track our feelings.”

Kitty rolls their eyes. “Wonderful.”

“Play nice, Kitty. I was going to let Puppy sleep every night, to avoid confounding variables. But I know that rewarding one of you is rewarding both of you, and I don’t reward bad behavior.”

“I said it sounded wonderful. But if my tone bothers you, you can just make it against the rules. You know I obey you, Master.” Their tone is ice. “And if I knew the opinions of mere mortals bothered you, I’d of course ‘play nice.’”

Puppy loves Kitty, adores them, but what Jane is offering is a full week of regular sleep, maybe two, and she can’t lose that for Kitty’s pride, for this stupid fucking power struggle they’re never going to win. Just apologize, please just apologize, it’s not worth it. She squeezes Kitty’s hand, hard. They gasp, looking at her in surprise.

“I…I’m sorry?”

Jane smiles smugly, seeming satisfied. “Go to bed. Both of you.”

~~

A lot of the clothes Barron got for you would show your scars. To be fair, that’s any clothes that show your arms or legs or neck.

All three of them have repeatedly told you you can ask for anything you want. Maybe you should test that and ask for more long-sleeved shirts. That’s a reasonable request, right? At least, it’s a reasonable request after they’ve insisted you can ask for anything.

On the other hand, there’s no reason to be so self conscious about the scars. Diya and Greg both have them, and they don’t hide theirs. The bite wounds on Diya’s neck, the burns on Greg’s hands.

But… your scars are worse. Which isn’t to say the pain that caused them was worse- you could never know that, and you would never dream of saying you went through worse because there are more marks. The worst things Jane did to you never left a scar, after all. But you definitely have more.

Sometimes you think your arms and legs and chest look a bit like what someone might doodle in a notebook while bored in class. Hearts and swirls and the weird fucking S thing- but the burns and drill marks ruin the image. And the brand.

That’s what you most don’t want anyone to see. If they didn’t like the collar, they certainly won’t like the brand. And you don’t want to see it, you want to pretend you don’t have it.

So you should ask for more long sleeved shirts. And if that means Barron hurts you, at least you’ll know. You won’t have to wonder anymore.

You ask during breakfast, while everyone is there, which feels safest.

“You- you said I could ask for anything, right?”

“Right. I can’t promise I can get anything, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. I want to do whatever I can to help you feel comfortable.” Barron says. Diya smiles at you encouragingly.

“…Nevermind.” Coward.

Diya frowns. “It’s just- you’re kind of stuck here. We brought you here and you can’t leave without risking a monster hurting you, and it would be really shitty if we didn’t do whatever we could to make it comfortable. So if you’re feeling weird about asking for stuff because you feel like you owe us- you don’t. You didn’t ask for any of this.”

Greg nods firmly. “You don’t owe us anything.”

You nod. That… actually helps a bit. You’ve been feeling weird about asking for things when they’ve already given you so much, but you didn’t have much of a choice in that. Maybe it’s not that big a deal.

“I was- I was just wondering if I could have more long sleeved shirts?”

Barron nods. “Of course. The shirts I already got you fit, right? I’ll get some more long sleeved ones today.”

“They fit, yeah. Thank you.”

“Any other clothes you want? Or anything else? Something for entertainment, a food you like, or something?”

You shake your head. There’s a beat of silence.

“Well, I’ll be sure to get you those shirts.”

“Thank you.”

The cabin is quiet for a moment, but Diya never lets it last for long. “Is there a specific reason you want more long sleeved shirts?”

Barron coughs. “You don’t have to answer that. We don’t plan on interrogating you any time you ask for something.”

“Right, right. But like… are you cold? Do you feel more comfortable with more of your body covered? Or is it just a style thing?”

“Diya.” Barron’s tone is warning, sending chills down your spine. Diya sighs dramatically.

“I just think we can help more if we know why you want it! But I can see I’m making uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

Greg has finished their breakfast and takes their empty plate to the sink. You’re eager to do the same.

“It’s okay.” You probably would’ve told them about your scars- but Barron, the way it silenced em with a word… it scared you. If Barron doesn’t want the reason why, you don’t want to share it.

“So… what’s your favorite food, Ethan?”

“Saltines.”

You are overwhelmed with a sort of nostalgia for when Kitty asked you that. You miss them, and Diya is just similar enough to them to make you miss them more.

“Do you want to go on a walk today?”

“…Sure.” You get up and put your plate in the sink. You want a minute alone, want to leave the house- the cabin without being supervised. But walking with Diya isn’t terrible.

“You mentioned you like board and card games. What’re your favorites?”

“I don’t… I like ones with more strategy, I guess. I don’t really have specific favorites.”

“We could play something today. Or I could show you some of the games we’ve got on the computer.”

“That sounds fun. Either of those. I need to do some laundry first, though.”

“Me too! We can do it together.”

You can’t tell why ey seems so desperate to spend time with you. Maybe ey pities you, or feels the need to supervise you so you don’t misbehave. Or maybe ey genuinely likes you and wants to spend time with you. But you don’t feel like any of the likable things about you have been on display lately. You’ve just been scared and tired.

Barron leaves to go to work, and Greg joins you and Diya as you sort clothes. The two of them get chatting about different types of clothes and how comfortable they are, and you zone out as you do the simple task. It’s nice, it doesn’t require enough focus to make your head hurt.

It’s okay. You’re okay. Jane isn’t here, Barron isn’t here, no one’s going to hurt you. You let yourself feel safe for just a moment.

~~

Kitty is doing a lot worse than Puppy. They aren’t as used to hunger. At least, not as used to hunger as they go about their daily life. They can handle it when it’s part of a punishment, but for some reason it’s a lot harder like this. They thought it would be easier with more stuff to distract them, but it’s not.

They don’t know how Puppy handles it. Often only eating once a day, she must be constantly hungry, but she never shows it. Not eating at all, she doesn’t behave any differently. She does her chores efficiently and masterfully. She doesn’t make mistakes. She’d be punished if she made mistakes.

Kitty is having trouble thinking about anything other than food. Food that they know is in the fridge and in the pantry, food that’s /right there/. They try to read and play games and color, but end up too distracted by hunger.

They drink lots and lots of water. Jane never explicitly said they could, but she hasn’t punished them, so they take the risk. Puppy doesn’t though. She drinks when Jane gives her water, and only then.

Kitty keeps thinking that if Puppy were downstairs being hurt, they would be able to get food. They’d know Jane wasn’t watching.

But that’s a horrible thing to wish for, and they know it. They just want to not be hungry anymore.

They’re so tired, so fatigued, but they’re in too much pain to fall asleep. They lie on the couch and count the seconds. They’re so hungry.

~~

You are hiding in the bathroom crying because Diya decided to make mac ‘n cheese for dinner. It’s embarrassing and stupid and it’s just- it’s stupid. Of all the things to remind you of living with Jane…

You think you’ve been pretty subtle, slipping away from the table gracefully and crying quietly, but-

“Ethan? What’s wrong?” Diya’s at the door.

“I’m just going to the bathroom. Do I need supervision to do that, too?” You’re not mad at em, not really, but your heart pounds and you can’t stop thinking about her poisoning you for /no reason/ and Puppy was /already sick/-

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m fine. Can I please just have a minute alone?”

“…I want to help.”

“I know, I know, but I think helping me use the bathroom might be overstepping.”

Diya snorts. “You’ve been crying, though. I could hear you.”

“Why were you listening to me going to the bathroom?”

“I- I was just coming to check on you! You looked upset.”

You feel bold with a locked door between you. “If I wanted your help I would’ve asked for it.”

“…Okay. Okay.” Footsteps retreat from the door. Maybe you were a bit harsh.

Barron could still teleport in. But there’s no reason for it to do that, you haven’t done anything to upset it or disobeyed any orders. There’s no guarantee that Barron will follow the same rules as Jane, though.

Diya said it gets better, and you have to believe that’s true. You have to believe that you won’t always cry over mac ‘n cheese, that you won’t always flinch at the sight of your arms uncovered. You have to believe it, or else there’s no point to any of this. No point to escaping, and certainly no point to trying to save Puppy and Kitty.

After crying a bit more, you splash some water on your face and return to the kitchen. Everyone else has already finished, they’re doing something in the living room. They left your meal on the table.

You force yourself to take two more bites of cold mac ‘n cheese, and then throw out the rest. You remember loosening your collar with Diya, how it was scary but you did it anyway, and you felt better afterwards. It should be the same here. It will get easier, it will get better. You have to believe that.

~~

Puppy’s hands won’t stop shaking. She’s going to get in trouble, going to drop something, going to get herself and Kitty punished.

She has to be careful, has to stay present, pay attention, be a good Puppy. Master can tell when she’s trying.

She needs to make sure Kitty is good too. She can’t let Kitty get hurt, she has to keep Jane happy. Her first priority is pleasing her master, always always always.

Her hands won’t stop shaking, no matter how hard she focuses. It’s only going to get worse as she gets hungrier.

Maybe Master will be merciful. This isn’t a punishment, and she’s proven time and time again that she can do her chores, follow the rules, even while starving, even while sleep deprived, even while so sick she could barely walk. Master doesn’t have to test her, Master just wants to be mean to her therapist. She might be merciful, might tell Puppy that she’s been a very good girl and she can be done for the day.

But Puppy knows better than to get her hopes up. She’s done these chores with shaking hands and an aching stomach before, she can do it again. Even if chores that usually take a couple minutes take half an hour. Even if supplies she can usually carry easily are too heavy to hold for more than a minute at a time. She can do it, and she will, and she and Kitty won’t get hurt any more today.

~~

“I’m sorry about yesterday.” Diya says out of nowhere. You’ve been working on knitting again, hoping that it will hurt your head less as you get better at it.

“Hm?”

Diya plops down next to you on the couch. “I have never, in my entire life, wanted to be alone. Even when I was with Irving, it was better to have him there and hurting me than to he left alone. So… I tend to assume other people feel the same way. It’s caused problems before, and I tried to remember that you might like to be alone, and I still made the same mistake I always make. I should’ve listened the first time you said you wanted to be left alone. I’m sorry.”

Ey’s apology sounds sort of scripted, but still genuine. You think ey’s telling the truth.

“It’s okay. I wasn’t mad at you. And you were right, I was crying.”

“Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to. I’ll leave you alone if you want.”

You kind of do want to talk to em. Talking to Diya has helped before. Not as much as talking to Kitty or Puppy would’ve helped, but it helped.

“It’s stupid.”

“Yeah? I should probably say something about how no feelings are stupid, but… I don’t know. Like, back when I first got away from Irving, when Jane killed him, I struggled to eat because I felt like I was hurting my food. Because I had been food for so long. And that was pretty stupid! Eating a sandwich is very different from drinking someone’s blood, and I knew that, and I still had full crying screaming episodes over eating. It wouldn’t have helped to call that stupid while I was going through it, but I don’t think it would’ve helped to act like it was perfectly reasonable either. So maybe emotions /are/ stupid sometimes, but that doesn’t really matter that much. What matters is how the emotions affect you and what you can do to manage them.”

Diya’s rambling reminds you so much of Kitty talking about The Game of Life or how Jane’s actions were never your fault. God, you wish they’d come with you.

Diya is a different person, though. It’s not very nice to em to act like ey’s just a replacement for someone else. And you think you do like Diya, as eir own person, even if you don’t fully trust em like you do Kitty.

“She poisoned us one time using mac ‘n cheese.” You say softly. “It hurt. Puppy was already sick, and we didn’t do anything. She just did it. It wasn’t the worst thing she ever did, I don’t know why trying to eat mac ‘n cheese freaked me out so much. The first thing she did to me was drown me, and I’m not freaked out by the sound of running water.”

“That stuff’s definitely weird. It’s just whatever your brain associates with the trauma. It doesn’t always make sense.” Ey pauses. “It really sucks that she did that to you. Are there any other foods that might cause that reaction?”

“That’s the thing- I don’t know. She didn’t poison us with any other foods like that. But I don’t know. If you’d asked me before- I mean, you did ask me before, and I had no idea mac ‘n cheese would affect me like that.”

“That’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

“I want to be able to eat mac ‘n cheese without crying.”

“We can work on that! We have leftovers, and you can make your own mac ‘n cheese whenever you want.”

You nod and focus back on your knitting. “Thank you. For giving me advice, and for sharing about your own experience. It helps.”

“I’m glad!” Diya beams, and then eir smile fades. “Are you still worried about Barron hurting you?”

“I don’t- well. Yes.”

“Why?”

“I can’t- I can’t do it again.” You can’t, can’t trust someone again just for them to hurt you, can’t fall for such an obvious trap, you can’t-

“You keep saying that. What does it mean?”

You have to set the knitting down, your hands are shaking too much. “I… I want to go on a walk. And I want to do it alone.”

“…Okay. Go ahead. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

You get up and approach the door. Ey doesn’t stop you. You step outside. No one stops you. You could leave. You really could leave.

Instead, you follow the same path you and Diya usually take. It’s nice. You loosen your collar and breathe the fresh air deeply. You’re okay. You hope Puppy and Kitty are okay.

With your collar loose, and walking alone, you feel incredibly rebellious. And it’s scary, but it’s also exhilarating. You are full of a nervous, excited energy that makes you want to do a cartwheel or something. But you can’t do a cartwheel, so you just walk faster.

When you come back to the cabin, Diya isn’t in the living room anymore. Your head only hurts a little bit, so you pick your knitting back up. You don’t tighten your collar.

~~

Even with a full week of regular sleep, Puppy is exhausted. She splashes cold water in her face, does jumping jacks, tugs on her hair, and she only barely holds onto consciousness. Her chores are done (she thinks- oh god, are they done?) so she just has to stay awake until Master gives her permission to sleep.

Kitty hasn’t stayed awake for more than a couple minutes all day. Puppy watches them breathe, terrified their breathing will suddenly stop.

Just one more day. Just one more day, then Master will move onto the next phase and she’ll get to eat three meals a day and maybe she’ll still get to sleep every day.

Of course, she’ll have to be careful to avoid refeeding syndrome. But she’ll be allowed to eat, and Kitty will be allowed to eat. Just one more day.

“How are you feeling? I feel great.”

When did Master get in here? Puppy groans.

“Poor Kitty’s asleep… I’ll wake them up after we finish your questions. How would you rate your hunger on a scale of one to ten? Speak. You can answer these questions.”

“…Nine.” It can always be worse. It can always get worse.

“How would you rate your fatigue on a scale of one to ten?”

“Nine.”

“How would you rate your desire to commit violence on a scale of one to ten?”

“Zero.” It’s what she’s been saying all week.

Master continues her line of questioning. Puppy thinks Master asks more questions than normal, but she can’t be sure.

Finally, Master tells her to sleep. She doesn’t have to be told twice.

~~

Diya is helping Barron with something in the computer room, so you and Greg have been playing card games in the living room.

Hanging out with Greg is a lot quieter than hanging out with Diya, but you don’t mind. You don’t mind the quiet at all.

You’re a bit worried about Diya being alone with Barron, but there isn’t any screaming coming from the computer room, so you think ey’s okay.

Greg has incredible posture. They sit up straighter than you think you ever have, and they handle the cards with a strange sort of grace.

“After we finish this one I can show you some of the card games we made up while I was with Jane. Well, Kitty and Puppy mostly made them.”

“That sounds fun.”

“Yeah, they were good at that stuff. I guess they had more practice than me, but any time I tried to make a game it ended up really boring.”

“Ah.”

You continue to play in silence. It’s nice. It’s also nice that you’re winning.

“Are you enjoying living here?” Greg asks.

“…I think so. So far, it’s much better than living with Jane.”

“So far?”

“Well, I can’t know the future. Are you enjoying living here?”

“I am.”

“…Have you ever been hurt here?”

“No. Well, I’m sure I’ve bumped into things or tripped and gotten hurt while here with stuff like that. But I don’t think that’s what you’re asking.”

You swallow. “No one’s hurt you while you were here?”

“Nope.” They pop the P, then think for a second. “Well, maybe on accident. But I can’t think of anything specific. Why do you ask?”

“…I don’t know. Just checking, I guess.”

Greg nods. “That’s okay. You can check as much as you want. None of us will hurt you.”

You think, for maybe just a moment, you believe them.

—

You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of screaming. Shit, shit, it’s happening, it’s hurting them, shit.

You don’t know what to do. You instinctively pull your blanket over your head, but you know it’s not a good hiding place.

The screaming is over as soon as it started. Should you investigate? Should you pretend nothing happened?

You take off the blanket and head towards where you think you heard the noise. It’s Diya and Greg’s room.

You hear crying, quiet but definitely there. You think it’s Greg’s voice. You throw open the door.

It’s just Diya and Greg. Greg is crying without emotion on their face, but it doesn’t look like they’re hurt. Diya holds them close.

“Ethan. Did we wake you up? Greg just had a nightmare. I’ve got this handled. You can go back to bed. And… maybe knock, next time.”

That makes sense. Greg did say they all have nightmares, and if Barron’s not here… Well, you don’t think Diya would hurt Greg. It makes more sense to you that it would be a nightmare.

You step back, embarrassed. You’re lucky you didn’t interrupt something more intimate.

“…Sorry.”

Greg recoils, burying their face in Diya’s shoulder. You gently close the door.

It feels… wrong, to have seen Greg so vulnerable. It makes your skin crawl, and you’re not sure why. But they’ve seen you after a nightmare, so you guess you’re even.

…Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, for Diya or Greg to see your scars.

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @fuzzybucketz

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else!

[fuckingfinwions]

Would you consider doing emotion play/jealousy with Maedhros and Dark!Fingon? Fingon conspiring on how to keep Maedhros his, and how to get him to feel exactly how Fingon wants him to feel - whether that's passive unquestioning obedience, desperate adoration and gratitude that Fingon deigns to care for him, or crushing guilt at any tiny imperfection. Fingon gaslighting the fuck out of him. Fingon keeping Maedhros all for himself, for always.

Fingon knew that he wouldn't have been able to get away with this back in Tirion. For one thing, Maedhros's father would have been in the way, his orders making Maedhros drop all other projects. For another, Maedhros himself would have seen through it in an hour. He was better at schemes and politics than Fingon, and noticed every time Fingon tried to manipulate him into spending more time together. He'd often go along anyway, as they both enjoyed each other's company, but Fingon never actually felt like he won.

But Maedhros was different now. Angband had let him scarred in body and mind, at once able to stay standing through terrible pain and flinching from the slightest displeasure. Fingon didn't want Maedhros to stay weak, but he did want to win. Maedhros would belong to Fingon first, with any other responsibilities a distant second.

The healers said that Maedhros was uncertain, and looking for any source of comfort. But they warned that if Maedhros had one, he might build himself around it, unable to function should that person leave.

Fingon had no intention of ever letting Maedhros leave him, so that sounded good. He couldn’t sleep in the same room as Maedhros unfortunately; there was no room for a second bed, and Maedhros was too injured to share a bed - yet. So Fingon moved into the room next door.

Maedhros was so easy to work with. He was desperate for praise and comfort.

Fingon started out with half-truths.

"It’s Morgoth’s fault you’re missing a hand." (Not mine. I'm the one who rescued you and bandaged you. I'm the one who gives you a soft bed and warm clothes.)

“You abandoned me after Alqualonde.” (I bled for you and killed for you. I’ve killed people before, when they tried to take you away from me hurt you.) Fingon had heard by now about the ships, but he let Maedhros apologize and beg for his forgiveness all the same.

“I’m sorry you had to wait so long for rescue, I came as soon as I could.” (Your brothers didn’t even try; they don't care about you.)

Maedhros thanked Fingon for rescuing him. Fingon said you’re welcome, you’re worth it to me.

When Maedhros was gripped by a nightmare, Fingon was the first to hear it. Maedhros woke up terrified.

“Shh, I’m not angry with you. I know you’re trying to be good and get sleep like the healers said.”

“I’m sorry I disobeyed them.”

“They’re under my command. I know you’ll obey everything I order you to do, right? This was just an accident?”

Maedhros nodded. “How can I prove I’m obedient?”

“You just need to trust me.”

“I do!”

"What if I tied you to the bed? Just for a bit, I don’t want you to hurt yourself thrashing in your sleep.”

“Of course Fingon, anything for you.”

Fingon tied Maedhros up, on his back, arms splayed wide and feet together. “This way you can see me, and won’t worry that I’ll fuck you.”

“I trust you,” Maedhros insisted.

“Good.” Fingon grabbed a knife from his belt. It wasn’t the one he had used on the mountain - that one had sadly fallen off the eagle's back - but it was nearly as long.

“Now, hold very still. I don’t want to cut you.”

Maedhros shivered in terror, but didn’t move.

Fingon placed the knife flat against Maedhros’s belly, over his nightgown, letting the cold sink through. Then he ran it down one thigh, mirroring it with his hand. He ran the knife on Maedhros left arm, pausing a moment, at the armpit, the elbow where he could have slipped between the bones. Finally the wrist, letting.

Maedhros’s pulse was beating hard, and he was beginning to whimper.

Fingon placed the knife in Maedhros’s hand, the blade forming a straight line below those elegant fingers. “hold that for a moment for me.”

Tears dripped from Maedhros’s eyes, but he nodded and closed his hand, expecting any moment to feel the blade biting in. His eyes widened when there was no pain, and a quick glance showed no blood.

“That knife is only sharp on one side, it’s made for cooking.” Fingon explained. Then he leaned over and kissed Maedhros.

“Let go.”

Maedhros did, and Fingon caught the knife deftly. He made sure that Maedhros could see him turn it around, and brought it to Maedhros’s throat. He held it there a long moment.

“Very good. Maybe next time you’ll actually believe that I won’t harm you, and that you don’t have any reason to fear me.”

Maedhros apologized. “I’m sorry. I was trying. I can be good, I can do what you say.”

“I know you're trying, and that’s good. It means you’re not enthralled to Morgoth. But you still have the taint of that place, still expect me to hurt you just like he did.”

"I don't -"

"Don't worry, it's not your fault. Now go to sleep. I'll wake up early to get you loose, and the healers won't have to know."

"Thank you Fingon."

[someonewhos-world]

Jett munches on the uncooked noodles of ramen. Jack looks at him like hes the reason why Chris accepted their auditions.

Jack has a glass eye. It's fake. His left eye,where the scarring is, is so fake. Tyler's walked in on his cleaning it in the confessional because yk, that's kind of also the bathroom. They both screamed.

Jett forgets hes the only one who has like. Prosthetics. On the plane. So when he pops his legs off very casually or when someone kicks him in the leg, he doesnt entirely react.

Both twins have tried to sabotage challenges during their time on team Victory. Again, as I mentioned in an earlier headcanon post, they didnt exactly have to because the team was losing anyway but they did sabotage it a little. Just a teensy bit.

Jett has caused at least one (1) uproar with uno. He even got Chris in on it. Someone got hit with something.

Genderbent??? Who said they arent feral when genderbent.

Jess almost shoved Simon to a feral Elizabeth. Almost. Never quite did it though. She did, however, lock him in the confessional and had to hold the door shut while Jace ushered Noelle and Jody to a picnic date on the place in the cargo hold.

Like, she had one foot planted on the wall,the other bracing on the ground while pulling on the door while Simon is banging on the door.

Genderbent or not, these two screamed when the scarabs were released and jumped into the other's arms.

Jack broke a nail once. Once. And didnt fucking notice because he was running on adrenaline during the Amazon episode, realized it and cried because a. His FINGERNAIL IS MISSING AND ITS SCARY AND HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO and b. THEY WERE ATTACKED BY GIANT CATERPILLARS AND HES ALL ITCHY AND EVERYTHING HURTS.

Jett literally would fight Sierra if he had a given chance. Maybe. But he knows for a fact that when a girl fights,She fights to kill,maim and rip you apart. Jett likes living. Jett likes having (most) of his limbs intact. Hes swell, hes good. Have a nice day ma'am.

Jack wont hesitate. He hesitates with children, gives them a very testy look that's like "try my patience, I dare you" and they back down. As for people older or around his age, square the fuvk up. Square up.

Jack keeps mostly to himself and just smiles when someone looks at him. He does this to mostly get people off his back because people will find it weird when you smile at them intentionally with no motive.

Jett just keeps his headphones on and mostly ignores people. He doesn't speak unless spoken to and even then sometimes he doesnt answer.

Jack cried when Jett was left behind in New York. He had to be held back by Owen so he didnt go after Jett who was sitting on the ground stunned.

Jett, on the other hand, was fuming and very worried for Jack. I'll write a short fic about them I promise

Jack almost lashed out at Chris for this and Alejandro convinced him not to, just to win for Jett and Jack just kind of was like ">:("

It's ok because they reunite and never leave each other's sides.

Jack rides with Noah!! In the ambulance and visits him. He might've had flashbacks of the accident but didnt really say anything. But that plane ride to Hawaii is lonely.

He wonders if Noah likes caramels.

Jack left Jett alone for like one night to go to work and he comes back and Jett goes "it's so funny, I like started choking on a gummy worm and vomited with how hard I was coughing" and Jack just screams "YOU WHAT ARE YOU OKAY????"

They're so chaotic I love them.

Jess doesnt mind doing her own makeup but Jace insists on matching eyeliners. So someone has pink eyeliner while the other has blue

Jess snaps her compact mirrors close so hard that both mirrors break. Jace has snapped her nail file at least twice.

Jack has nails. He scratches himself and others on accident. Jett trims them. They both have small hands.

SANITY WHAT SANITY I HAVE NONE

[amayadrawz]

Info dump about the characters in my story: live for Ara!

Background info:

There are these creatures called Malnaki that suffer this thing where they are always hungry all the time and by hungry I mean painful starvation that never goes away!!

They have a carnivorous diet and eat wildlife and stuff (but they can anything really they just highly prefer meat)

Their hunger never goes away even when they do eat something, regardless of amount. However there is one thing that is the exception that does actually satisfy their hunger and that is human flesh 🧍

Eating humans however only provides very brief relief before an individual is once again consumed by hunger so Malnaki constantly pursue humans as a result.

Anyways on to the story itself:

Ren is a Malnaki individual who at one point earlier in his life grew tired of the endless cycle of hunting humans while never escaping hunger, so he decided to basically quite and stop hunting humans all together!

(Another thing to point out is that while Malnaki are much stronger than humans physically, humans also have stuff like weapons, plus humans are always found in groups so for Malnaki, hunting humans is both hard and dangerous as humans kill then just as often as they kill humans)

Ren decided to move into an isolated wilderness to get away from both humans and other Malnaki to try and get away from the cycle as much as he can, and for several years he lived in total isolation ( just as he wanted)

It was all fine and dandy until one day, while he’s minding his business, he detects the scent of a human AND malnaki nearby and is immediately like “wtf”, so he goes to investigate. When he does he finds a turned over wagon and finds out that a human who had been traveling through the area was attacked by Malnaki and subsequently eaten (very odd because as stated before, neither of those things should be found here)

Just as he’s about to leave and go back to doing whatever, he hears a noise coming from under the wagon and discovers a little baby that had been sleeping and was now waking up. After some back and forth he decides fuck it I’m a dad now (very very simplified version of this story)

And then he named her Ara :)

And to briefly go over the other characters present in this story we have:

Matori, Rens mom who kinda left him when he was small (a normal thing for Malnaki but he kinda hated it) who at one point decides to find him again, but when she finds a rando human hanging around where she believes Ren to be she thinks “free meal” and tried to attack her :( then Ren intervenes and has to explain why she can’t do that and while she thinks he’s crazy, she listens.

Anyways her and Ren have a very very strained relationship (he went about 20 years without seeing her) but it very slowly gets better over the course of the story

Then we have the Stranger (that’s what we’re calling her cuz idk if she’ll ever have a name), she is literally a stranger who one day happened upon Ren and Ara when she was small and also tried to attack her (she have Ara the facial scar), Ren tells her to back off and she listens and goes away… until several years later where she comes back and this time Ren has to throw hands with her and he wins but she did tear out his eyeball and ate it :(

Footage from the event:

Also I turned the Ren V stranger fight into a webtoon episode found here:

Anyways there is more characters cuz spoiler alert: Ara once she is older eventually leaves Ren to live on human society and gets an adopted family there (Ren is still involved don’t worry) but I simply have not managed to even come up with designs for them :(

For now that is all! ✌️

[cookiethreat]

Random thing #2:

It wasn’t an ordinary day. Not for both Villain and Hero. But for some reason, the two rolled with it anyways.

The Villain was at Hero’s apartment. It was always lonely and cold without any company.

Honestly, it was a little messy too.

The two were sitting on the couch in Hero’s living room. The tv was shining right into their face and both of them were leaned over with black controllers in their hands playing Super Smash Bros.

The Villain never understood why Hero wanted them over all the time, they knew it was from boredom and loneliness, but it had to be something else as well. Nobody knew Hero invited Villain into their apartment, and it was a good thing. If Superhero ever found out, Hero would lose everything they have.

But for now, it was just them two.

The game was pretty intense, all the two could hear was their own controllers clicking away with buttons. This was the third round of fighting, and Hero hasn’t won one round yet.

Villain couldn’t help but peel their eyes off of the screen and turn to Hero.

Their eyes were reflecting the tv, it almost looked like there was a projector screen built right in their eyes.

Villain could get lost into their eyes. Every time they looked at Hero’s face, their heart forgot how to beat correctly. They loved them.

But they couldn’t put it into words.

When their mind traced off, they heard their game character die as the word “K.O” appeared on the screen. It was Hero’s first win so far, and they raised their hands over their head and squealed.

“Haha! I did it! I finally beat you!”

Villain couldn’t help but scoff. Obviously they won. If they hadn’t distracted them.

“I just went easy on you that time.”

Hero eyed Villain as their arms sank back down.

“Oh please. You only say that because you lost.”

“Alright, alright. One more round, perhaps?”

“Oh you bet it!”

And now they were fighting. Again.

The fights went on for so long, they both could hit each other with the choice of attacks their character had, but the character never seemed to fall off the battle field.

It reminded the Villain of their fights with Hero. It made their heart sink. It made words crawl up their throat.

They just had to say it. They couldn’t leave their feelings for Hero locked up inside.

“Hero.”

Hero replied, eyes still locked on the screen in front of them.

“Hm?”

“I… I um…”

For fuck sake, just say it already!

“I-I… I like you!”

…

There was a brief pause, and Hero’s eyes didn’t move. Finally there was a small scoff.

“Right.” There voice sounded very sarcastic. “You’re just trying to distract me.”

And then, there was silence.

Villain felt a long scar trace across their heart, like their whole kingdom that just surrounded Hero collapsed within seconds right before their eyes.

It made sense. Hero didn’t like them. They didn’t love them the way Villain did. After all this time, Villain could only daydream what it would be like to have a relationship with Hero. Because they were the villain, and Hero was the hero.

Their body went numb as they heard their character die again. Hero had won another round. “Aha.” They said, leaning back against the couch in confidence. “I won again. That leads us with a perfect tie!”

The apartment was silent.

Hero’s eyes finally looked at Villain.

“Uh… you good?”

There was no reply.

Hero leaned up again, trying to see Villain’s face, which had turned a bit away from Hero.

Villain was crying. Hero had never seen Villain cry once. Not when they were being yelled at, or when they had the worst wound ever or when they were left in the pouring rain by Supervillain.

They were crying now. In this exact moment.

“Are… are you crying?” Hero’s tone of voice remained in confusion. “Over a game??”

There was no words to say. Not anymore.

Villain stood on their feet, grabbed their coat which was hanging over the arm chair of the couch, and started to head for the door.

“Wait, Villain!” Hero yelled, also standing. “I didn’t mean-“

It was too late. Villain had shut the door behind them.

(This was in my drafts so it’s a bit lazy. -.-)

[lebenspurpur]

{slashers x fem reader who has a blood kink? sorry if this is against ur boundaries u don’t have to if ur uncomfy!!!} submitted by anon but I accidentally deleted the original ask because I am an idiot.

Also darling, you're fine, all my boundaries got destroyed years ago.

Warnings: blood (duh), knives, a lot of cutting, mentions of self-harm and necrophilia.

Also a female reader this time.

Michael Myers

Oh Michael loves it.

Blood always gets this man going, I think we've established that.

Wait a second.

You want to cut him? *slowly backs off*

Yeah, he doesn't necessarily trust you with a knife.

Michael doesn't mind the pain, his pain endurance is way too high for that. It's just that cutting him would be a dominant action. And Michael really doesn't want to give you dominance.

He'll let himself get cut if he can cut you.

Michael is all for period sex if that's your thing. Be careful though, he is not going to be soft just because you're sensitive.

Michael just thrives off of the fact that, not only are you shedding blood, you're very sensitive and you're in pain as well.

A pure sadist, this man.

Vincent Sinclair

Blood? Doesn't that involve you getting hurt?

Vincent is skeptical.

He really, really doesn't want you to get hurt.

It would turn you on?

Hm.

Let's test it first.

Vincent will be very slow and careful, stopping as soon as he thinks something's wrong.

You have to reassure him to get going quite a lot.

After he realizes what effect blood has on your body, he overthinks it again and then consents.

He's going to create a new and very special safe word for this, just in case he ever really hurts you.

He himself doesn't really mind getting cut, as long as it makes you happy. This man would do anything for your happiness.

To be quite honest, Vincent loves the marks you leave on him. He looks at them in the mirror the next morning, a bashful grin painting his handsome features. I am so soft for Vincent please.

Period sex? Are you sure you're not in pain during that?

Vincent isn't grossed out by body fluids, but he won't go down on you during your time of the month.

His problem with period sex is that you're already hurting and he doesn't want to cause further harm.

He's perfectly fine with just fingering you and receiving blowjob though he can do without those if you don't want to until you're off your period again.

Vincent would literally do anything for you and I'm not kidding.

Bo Sinclair

"Woah there sugar... didn't think you'd be into that."

He's a bit surprised in the beginning.

Period sex is a no for him, don't even bring it up. He'll probably vomit already at the word period.

Him cutting you is totally fine and he likes that if you're fine with it.

However him getting cut is not going to happen.

To make it up to you, he can fuck you after he just killed a victim.

He'll thrust into you, fresh dark-red splashes of blood painted on his face.

"Do you like that? Knowing that I fucking killed a guy and then immediately came in here to fuck the shit outta you? I bet'cha do sugar."

Lester Sinclair

B-..blood?

Lester is pretty concerned until you explain it a bit better.

After that he's still concerned.

Hmm, how about animal blood?

Lester just doesn't want to be in pain and he doesn't want to put you in pain.

If you're fine with non-human blood then he's very relieved, having been scared that you'll leave him.

Please reassure your feelings for him or he's going to worry for months now.

Baby Firefly

She's a bit astonished in the beginning. She just didn't expect that from you, out of all people.

But, being a part of the Firefly family, she's totally down for it!

She'll gladly pepper you in little cuts and then suck at them. Baby loves using her tongue on you anyway so it's a win-win situation.

She's also very open for period sex. After all, she's done worse than eat someone out during their time of the month.

Baby is the best at aftercare. She'll make you a hot bubble bath, clean the cuts and she got sparkly pink band-aids for the both of you!

Otis Driftwood

Did you just say blood? *drags you to his torture room*

Otis... is so down for this.

Can he.. like carve his name into your body?

Oh and can he take a picture of you?

Can he take a picture of you next to a corpse?

You just wanted to see him bloody, god damnit.

Period sex is not something he'd insist on doing but he'll never say no to fucking you.

Billy Loomis

You want to do what?

Billy has never heard of a blood kink before. It reminds him of his love for the red substance though.

The only difference is that he doesn't use real human blood.

It takes a lot of coaxing but after a while he might be okay with cutting you a little bit..

After seeing how much you enjoy it, he might let you cut him too.. but not too deep!

Billy would also really enjoy fucking you after coming home from a kill. He'd be drenched in blood, the red fluid clinging to his chest and slowly smearing onto your back.

He smirks as he spreads the red fluid on your perky nipples, watching you throw your head back and moan shamelessly.

Stu Macher

Sure, why not?

Stu is an incredibly adventurous person, even when it comes to sex.

You trust him and he trusts you so where's the problem?

I don't think Stu would actively enjoy a blood kink but he's not going to say no since you asked him so nicely.

The pure facts that you're getting so aroused from a simple liquid is enough to make him turn feral anyway.

Who needs blood when you can have Y/N begging on her pretty, little knees for your cock?

Brahms Heelshire

"No."

"But-"

"I said no."

Yeah no, blood scares him.

It will need a lot of coaxing to even get him to try it.

I don't think he'd like it very much.

But Brahms will gladly kill the grocery-boy for you if you'd like to see him drenched in someone's blood.

Thomas Hewitt

Blood? Sweetheart, what if you get hurt?

He'll gently cradle your face in his big palms, searching for sincerity in your eyes.

Upon finding it, he'll nod and ask you to explain it to him again.

He'll try it for you. If you're going out of your way to ask this of him, he has to try it in his opinion.

He doesn't like the act of cutting to get either your or his blood and he'd rather have the blood to be his.

Tommy is a big, strong man. He can take a few small cuts.

But you're his tiny, sweet Y/N, he can't cut you?!

So yeah, to get him to cut you will be quite a quest.

As soon as he sees your reaction to blood, he blushes, desire clouding in his brown eyes.

Maybe this is a good idea after all.

He'd still have you or him covered in animal blood, rather than human blood.

Thomas doesn't care if you're on your period or not, but he'll immediately stop when you're in pain.

Just relax Y/N, he'll go get a towel and then he'll take care of his "little problem".

Josef

Blood? But why?

Okay, for you, he might try.

He enjoys it more than he originally thought.

Blood has an important meaning to him too and to see it spread all over your pretty body.. just does things to him.

Period sex is not his thing.

I don't even think he knows how periods work.

Amanda Young |TW SELF HARM|

Amanda has heard about blood kinks before and you can not change my mind.

She's down to try it if you both feel comfortable.

However, Amanda has had struggles with self-harm in her past and would therefore prefer you getting cut.

She just doesn't like willingly adding new scars to her collection.

There's something so arousing about you licking her bloody fingers clean, she can't help but press her thighs together.

Period sex?

She isn't the biggest fan of that idea but fingering you is not a problem to her.

She's kind of confused since her cramps are too painful to get aroused during her period.

Her aftercare is also very good. Amanda always has bandages and band-aids stacked away somewhere and she knows how to deal with the wounds she's left

[cheshiresense]

I don’t even remember where I was going with this except that the Dangai would toss them into an alternate universe and it’s supposed to end up Shinji/Ichigo/Kisuke, but other than that, it was as much a surprise to me as anybody else when I found this tiny random snippet in my docs lmao. I figured I’d just toss it up over here and maybe I’ll get around to making something out of it one day.

-0-

Shinji is pretty sure that they’re the only ones left in Soul Society now.

Every plane of existence - the entire fucking universe because their latest madman is even more batshit than Aizen was - is collapsing around them, what little remains of Soul Society is burning, and of all the people Shinji thought would survive long enough if the war went south - which it has, in the worst way imaginable - to flee anywhere, he and his… less than cooperative companion had been at the bottom of the list.

Speaking of which-

Shinji yanks, hard, and doesn’t dare relax his grip even once Kisuke’s staggered forward and drawn level with him again. This is the seventh time he’s had to do this because the bastard keeps twisting around and digging his damn heels in, struggling to free himself from Shinji’s grasp.

“Stop it!” Shinji shouts, all out of patience as he hurries on to the best of his ability while dragging what might as well be deadweight. “What d’ya think you’re even gonna go back to, huh? We’ve lost. We can’t even get back up to the Palace anymore. So get a fuckin’ grip and quit fightin’ me!”

Kisuke, of course, doesn’t even seem to hear him. There’s a wild look in his scar-bisected eyes that Shinji’s never seen before, something that teeters between desperation and insanity, and for someone bleeding from at least three different major injuries while on the brink of reiatsu exhaustion, the shopkeeper’s still almost stronger than Shinji can handle.

Then again, it’s not like Shinji’s feeling great either. He’s pretty sure he has a concussion, and he definitely has at least five broken ribs. He’s running on bullheaded stubbornness and very little else.

But he promised. When it became clear to everyone - everyone who was still alive anyway - that the Quincy were going to win, that Yhwach was going to win, and that this time, this enemy was one they would not be able to beat, Ichigo had asked, and Shinji had promised, because it was the only thing left he could do, and he’ll be damned if he fails that too.

“Let me go!” Kisuke practically shrieks, and Shinji would never admit it but seeing Kisuke like this scares the shit out of him.

Even back before their exile, Kisuke had always been relatively collected. Inexperienced as a captain, yes, especially at the beginning of his tenure, and you can’t exactly say he’s good with people even nowadays, but when it really counted, he kept his shit together, no matter if it was squaring off against Aizen or being accused of treason or getting eight Hollowfied Shinigami dumped at his feet without so much as a by-your-leave. As expected of Shihouin Yoruichi’s former left hand.

So Shinji has no idea how to deal with an Urahara Kisuke half out of his mind with grief, especially when Shinji’s not exactly in the best frame of mind himself either. But one of them has to keep functioning, or neither of them are going to make it out alive.

(Would that really be so bad though?)

“I need to go back!” Kisuke cries, and this time he almost wrenches free before Shinji gets a better grip on the front of his shirt - they’ve both lost their respective haori - and hauls him onward again. “Ichigo is still-”

“He’s dead!” Shinji snarls, mentally pushing past the tightness in his throat and the way even just breathing hurts like someone’s punched him in the chest. He’s injured. It’s to be expected. He ignores all other possible reasons for it and focuses on glaring at Kisuke instead. “And if he’s not dead, he soon will be! We can’t get back to him anyway! The Palace was already collapsin’ in on itself— if Yhwach doesn’t kill ’im first, the disintegration of an entire dimension will, an’ Ichigo was sacrificin’ himself to give us a chance to get away, so fuckin’ pull yourself together cuz I promised him I’d do my best to make sure we survive at least long enough to try and save his sisters, an’ so help me if ya make me a liar-”

He chokes, and for a second, his lungs don’t even seem to be working anymore. Then he sucks in a much-needed breath, tightens his hold on Kisuke, and dares a Shunpo in the vague direction of the Senkaimon even though the reiatsu drain of it sends him staggering the moment he lands again.

(He wants to give up. He’s exhausted down to his bones, his Zanpakutou’s gone, shattered beyond repair, and what’s even the point of running away if all his allies and friends and the people he considers family are already dead?

But-

“Hirako! Can you get up? Can you run?”

“If ya think I’m gonna leave ya-”

“What’s the point in all of us dying here?! Look, I’ll hold him off! You grab whoever you can - I know Urahara-san’s still back there somewhere, he came up after me, and Yhwach hit him pretty hard but I think he’s still alive - so get him, get whoever else you can find, and get the hell outta here! If you can get to my sisters… If you can, promise me you’ll try to save them too!”

“Ichigo-”

“PROMISE ME!!”

“...Fine, damn it, fine! But ya can-”

“I’m the only one left with a sword and enough reiatsu to do anything against this bastard! So stop arguing and just run! Try to find somewhere safe! I’ll give you guys as much time as I can! Now go!”

He promised. He regretted it the moment he did, because if the world’s going to end, then Shinji would much rather die fighting at Ichigo’s side than- than abandoning him.

But he promised, and because Shinji knows Ichigo doesn’t love anyone or anything as much as he loves his sisters, at the very least, he has to try.)

[helliontherapscallion]

Stressful Spectres (Sweet Betrayal Part 3)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 4

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse/neglect, mentions of death, slight body gore, blood

Word count: 2,873

With hands tightly clasped behind your back, you tensely paced around your office. The Pogtopians were constantly being sighted around the borders of Manberg and it was your job to prevent this. You tried everything; setting up traps, luring mobs around the vicinity, nothing worked. They just kept coming back like pesky cockroaches following pheromones. The only way you’d be able to prevent them from spying into the borders was to rebuild a wall, and Schlatt would turn your idea down the second the word ‘wall’ would leave your mouth. He gave you only two days to completely figure everything out from the last time one of the cowards was spotted running from the borders, and it seems that those two days are nearly up. 

“You should take a break, (y/n).” Without looking at him, you kept pacing and ignored him. “Stop ignoring me, you know I don’t like when you do that… Please, take a break. I’m worried about you,” he sounded just like he did from before. You felt your eye twitch. 

“...(Y/n), remember what I used to sing to you?” He chuckled, the sound being airy and far off, “‘hey hobo man, hey dapper Dan-’”

“Shut the fuck up!” You grabbed your vase and hurled it blindly in his direction. The glass shattered against the wall and you heard nothing else from the teenager. “I don’t need you anymore.” He had been visiting you for the past week or so, ever since Schlatt found out about you taking your birthday off. You were banned from speaking to the Badlanders and got a few physical punishments that would definitely give you more scars on your arms. It was your fault anyways, you were slacking off during a war when you were one of the leaders of this country.

Your door opened when you were mid pace, making you plaster a strained smile on your face and spin around to narrow your eyes at whomever decided to not knock. You were greeted by a slightly buzzed ram hybrid raising an eyebrow at you. He must’ve just started drinking. 

Whenever he was only slightly buzzed or on the very rare chance he was sober, he was the most affectionate with you. It wasn’t much, only small praises and the occasional smile, but by Ender you ate it up like you were a drug addict getting their first hit in months. You craved any type of affection, no matter where it came from or how rarely it came. You were willing to wait for it, even if it was rare. 

His amber gaze flicked around the room before it landed on the ceramic shards embedded into the carpet. He jutted his chin towards it, “fuck happen there?” 

You ran your hand down your face and massaged your aching cheeks, “nothing. Just thought I saw a rat, but my mind was just playing tricks on me.” His calculating gaze pierced through you like a spear before he narrowed his eyes slightly and nodded. He walked over to the window and looked out at the vast city, hands neatly clasped behind his back. “...Have you come up with a solution to our... problem?”

You sighed angrily and resumed your pacing, “I’ve tried everything. They just dismantle the traps I set up, kill the mobs I lure around it, they even killed the iron golems! The only option here is to put up the walls again.” 

“I know you didn’t just say what I thought you fuckin said,” Schlatt hissed out, “there’s no way in hell I’m putting up those walls again.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do then, that’s our only option,” you mumbled under your breath only to freeze when Schlatt stomped up to you. He spun you around and grabbed your shoulders, leaning close to your face. His breath smelled like tobacco and a hint of scotch, “are you questioning my authority?” You shook your head frantically. “Really? Cuz it sure sounds like you’re questioning my authority. You seem to forget that I’m your boss and you will treat me as such. Do you understand me?”

You nodded and he let you go, slightly shoving you off to the side as he walked past you. “I-I’m sorry, Dad.” He paused in your doorway, “don’t call me that. I don’t want to be the father of someone that constantly contradicts me. I’ll be back in an hour, you better have this shit figured out by the time I get back or I swear to Ender I’ll fire your sorry ass. You’re on thin ice, (y/n).” Without a second word he left your office, the sound of his dress shoes clanking against the tile fading down the hallway. 

You could feel your heart break inside of your chest and your lungs get deflated by the shards piercing them. He was the last person that actually loved you, and you fucked it up. You always fuck everything up, you supposed that it was an innate part of you. No matter what you did or what you tried, you’re always going to be a fuck up. 

No, you can’t just sit here and ponder all of your life’s mistakes; you need to be brainstorming before you lose your connection to the person you loved the most. You paced around your office endlessly murmuring to yourself. You knew he was watching you pace again standing off in the corner, the room felt off like it always did whenever he was there. You ignored him and continued your pacing. 

Just as you came up with a solution, your door was opened and Schlatt stepped into your office once more. He was swaying slightly on his feet and his suit jacket was unbuttoned. “You figure something out?” 

You put a confident smile on your face, “yes. I think we should send patrols around the border, and I think the Badlanders and Rutabagaville members would fare nicely. We can send them in groups of two and send them once in the morning, afternoon, evening, and night.” 

He nodded to himself, satisfied. “That sounds like a decent plan, you’re keeping your job for now. But don’t think I’ll forget about what you said earlier.”

You felt extremely relieved and grinned at him, “yessir. I apologize for that once again, it just-”

“Save it, you’re still on thin fucking ice… Don’t look at me like that, ya smiling freak. Your face is absolutely disgusting.” You dropped your smile and looked at your slightly scarred fingers. Light pink raised scars littered your skin in random amounts along your right arm, leading up your neck, and becoming the most concentrated on the entirety of the right side of your face. You avoided looking in the mirror, mostly out of anger because your appearance was a constant reminder of the stain your ‘brothers’ left on your life. You were still adjusting to having a blind spot in your vision, the eye having lost its sight and now a cloudy white color from the fireworks. Your eyelid on that side was permanently half-lidded, unable to open up fully even if you tried. 

You were fully aware that your appearance was… unsightly, to say the least, to everybody that looked at you (yourself included), but Schlatt was one that never cringed away from you. Hell, even Quackity (the mere mention of his name made icy betrayal wash over your entire body) avoided looking at you in the first few weeks of your injury. Schlatt was the one that loved you for who you were, scars and all, and you fucked it up. 

He squinted at you, his eyelids blocking everything with the exception of his rectangular pupils. A snort left his lips before he moved to leave you to your own devices. “I’ll inform the others of their new duties, get your paperwork done.” 

“Yessir.” 

You sat down at your desk chair with a sigh and rubbed at your aching cheeks before you picked up your pen and started on your paperwork. Well, it was yours with the exception of Schlatt’s thrown about occasionally in piles. The room was engulfed into an uncomfortable chill once more, he’s back. You honestly have no idea why he just keeps coming back to you or even if his pale spectre was just a stress induced hallucination. He just showed up in your office one day saying that he’s been looking everywhere for you. He acted and looked exactly like he did before he left, except his attitude was strangely chipper for someone that had an iron pickaxe buried deep within their forehead. 

“(Y/n), I’m back!” He sang, floating over to your desk. “Geez, that goat guy is a real jerk isn’t he?” His slightly glowing hand appeared in your vision and tried to pluck the pen out of your grasp. It swiped right through your hand, making you shiver at the uncomfortable feeling. “I’m still not used to that.”

You huffed and focused more on your paperwork. You could feel the chill getting closer, leading up to the point where he was directly behind you. The icy air gusted down your neck with every breath he exhaled. “Whatcha workin on?” He whispered in your ear. 

“Nothing that you need to worry about.” 

“So they speak! I was worried you went completely mute… Well, you did scream at me before, but I didn’t count that. That’s okay though, I knew I could get you to talk to me sooner or later. I’m irresistible, you remember how I was with the ladies.” 

“Fuck off.”

“No need to be so mean to me.” You focused on your paperwork again, furrowing your brows and trying to tune him out. “(Yyyyyyy/nnnnn), you can’t ignore little ole me forever.” 

“I can and I will.”

He gasped before laughter streamed from his lips, the sound being muffled since it was on your deaf side. “You just talked to me though! I think that’s a win for me. Do you remember when-”

“I swear to Ender, if another word comes out of your mouth I’ll make sure that the next pickaxe finds its home through your tongue and down your throat.” 

He was silent after that, leaving you to your paperwork. At least, that was until someone knocked on your office door. You sighed before plastering a smile on your face, “come in.” Your door opened to reveal the signature white smiley face mask, messy blond hair, and green hoodie.

Dream had been giving you small lessons on your swordsmanship lately, and you were getting better with each passing lesson. You were proficient on defense, so it was time for you to learn how to offensively attack. 

You saw that he placed an apple on your desk. You looked up at him in confusion. “What? You haven’t eaten anything all day, I don’t want you passing out or anything during our lesson.”

“Finally! Someone with actual sense around here! It’s so refreshing, isn’t it (y/n)? Well, it’s refreshing for me anyways.” 

Dream chuckled, “thank you.” 

Wait a damn minute.

Dream could hear him?!

Your pen froze mid sentence and rested on the paper, it’s ink pooling in one place. You slowly looked up at Dream, “you can hear him?” He looked at the teenager behind you before looking back at you, his head tilting. “Of course I can. He’s right there.” 

“Yeah (y/n), I’m right here. My name’s Lucius by the way, it’s nice to meet you!” He floated over to Dream and held out his hand, the pickaxe handle almost hitting the taller male in the chest. Dream stepped back slightly and nodded, “Dream. Eat that apple fast, we don’t have all day.” You snapped out of your stupor and grabbed the apple, taking absentminded bites while staring at your dead best friend talking animatedly to the masked man. 

So he was real after all. You were worried something might have actually been wrong with you for a moment! It was nice to know that you weren’t completely insane. 

“...meet (y/n)?” 

“Oh, I’m training them at the moment, would you like to watch?” 

“Yes! That sounds exciting, doesn’t it (y/n)?” The two looked at you expectantly, Dream’s head tilting slightly and Lucius smiling widely at you. You swallowed your bite and nodded, throwing the apple core into your trash bin. “...Yeah. Yeah it does. Uh, I’m going to get changed and then we can start our session.” 

After you got changed, you met with the two outside your door and walked out of the White House to the training grounds. The entire time you were walking, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Lucius. Every time he would turn his head, the pickaxe would move with it. The crusted blood that emanated from the wound and splattered down his pale face was perhaps the darkest color on him with the exception of his jet black hair. 

In a strange way, it wasn’t the blood or the pickaxe protruding from his head that disturbed you the most; it was his eyes. Of course they still crinkled at the edges when he smiled, but it just wasn’t the same. The black eyes that were once so full of life were a dull gray with milky pupils. 

Other than the obvious pickaxe, blood, dead eyes, and constant glowing, he looked exactly like he did before he died. His baggy sweater, albeit mudstained and wrinkled, was still a salmon color with its signature pinstripes. The mop of straight black hair was still pulled into a bun with multiple unruly strands escaping the elastic and framing his face.

Before you knew it, a pale hand was waving in your face. “Earth to (y/n)! Oh good, you’re back to the land of the living! What’s wrong? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Well, I mean you were just staring at me, but my point still stands.”

You moved your gaze to the dirt path, “it’s nothing, I’ll tell you later.” He huffed, but didn’t say anything else to you for the rest of the trip. Instead, he was making small comments on your surroundings. 

Eventually, you were across from Dream on the training arena holding a wooden sword in front of you defensively. Lucius was sitting in the grass a little ways away from the painted boundaries with one foot over the other and his elbows resting on his knees propping his chin up. He was watching with an intensity he always had whenever you were doing something he deemed ‘dangerous’. To be fair, sparring with the most skilled member on the server was fairly dangerous.

“Let’s see if you remember what I taught you last time.” Without giving you a warning, he charged at you with his own wooden sword raised. Your sword clashed with his and you pushed against him. The mask moved upwards on his face slightly, “good, but always expect the unexpected.” 

With a simple sweep of his foot, you were on the ground gasping for air. You could faintly hear Lucius suck in air between his teeth before he shouted “you’re doing great, sweetie, but do better!”

Thanks, Lucius. Very motivating.

You rolled away from Dream’s foot before he could pin you to the floor. Your mind flashed back to when Techno- no. None of that, you need to focus. You got back onto your feet in the blink of an eye and dodged another blow. You used his momentum against him, stepping away at the right moment sending him skidding to a stop. 

Before long, he had you on the floor again with the tip of the sword pressing into your chest. He relaxed before helping you up, “you did better than I thought you would, but there were still some obvious flaws in what you did. Using my momentum against me was smart, but with what you did the opponent would recover fast. Here, let me show you how to properly do that.” 

You improved on a few things defensively and learned a few things offensively before the sun started to set and cast shadows on the surrounding forest. Dream shook your hand, “nice work today, you’re gonna rival even the best eventually.”

“You were great, (y/n)! I didn’t know you had it in you!” I didn’t have it in me when you were alive, you mentally corrected him. “Thanks, Lucius.” You glanced at him only to be met with his body phasing through yours in an attempted hug. He fell to the ground and rolled over, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’ll never get used to that.” 

Dream snorted before he shoved his hands into his pockets and started to nonchalantly walk back towards the White House. You and Lucius looked at each other before you ran to catch up with him. Lucius floated next to you, examining the dirt on your exposed arms and the forming bruises on your calves. He wrinkled his nose, “you really need a shower.” 

“Well I can’t exactly strip now and find a shower in the woods, can I Lucius?” 

“You just reek.”

“Yeah, you kinda do.”

“Thanks Lucius, Dream. Really feeling the love.” 

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[bakudekuficlist]

Do you have any post war arc bakudeku fics any fics surrounding that time upto the apology part in the manga ?

hi! this was a tad bit hard to find in terms of tags so I hope these fit what you were looking for!

Mini-List: Post-War/Apology Bakudeku

You're Not Allowed to Die - TargaryenJedii

Chapter(s): 1/1 | 4117 words | Teen / No Warnings Apply

Katsuki Bakugo is supposed to be the one who wins. He’s always been able to beat anything the universe throws at him, either with his quirk or with his wits. He’s supposed to be the best, the number one hero that’s stronger than All Might himself.

But he has no idea how this war is going to end. For the first time in his life, he has no idea how to beat this. He doesn’t know what the future will look like, or what will happen when Shigaraki and All For One are finally stopped for good.

And he doesn’t know if Izuku will still be by his side when the dust settles. ---- Or: Katsuki finally faces the possibility of what could happen. It leads to more than he was expecting

hold me till i feel better - leahistyping

Chapter(s): 1/1 | 3327 words | General / No Warnings Apply

katsuki had never felt like this before.

so many emotions were swarming through his head at once. he felt anger, frustration, sadness, and especially longing.

he never knew it’d hurt so much to be so izukuless. the damn nerd was always chasing after him, whether he wanted him to or not. but he was always there, even if katsuki pushed him away again and again.

(or, after izuku returns to UA, he gets a fever. but luckily for him, bakugou’s there to help him.)

Desperation - JuiceTricky

Chapter(s): 1/1 | 3824 words | Explicit / Creator Chose No Warnings

‘Now he’ll be out of commission for a week….’ ‘We’ll use this time to our advantage.’

All Might’s words were ringing in Katsuki’s ears, and the look on that shitty nerd’s face was replaying over and over in his mind. He knows. He knows Deku is going to go off on his own, self-sacrificing rampage again, and this time, he’ll make it impossible for anyone else to get caught up in it.

Katsuki takes a deep breath, closes his crimson eyes and convinces himself that it’s different this time. That if he doesn’t swallow his pride, and get it out, he will not see Izuku again.

Fuck, he might not anyway if the nerd has his way, but he can try.

Katsuki sits up, rubs his hand along the back of his neck and heads towards Izuku’s room. He knocks on the door, hoping it’s not too late.

All We Ever Knew - dynamics

Chapter(s): 2/2 | 5275 words | Teen / No Warnings Apply

He knows, deeply and intimately, that these hands have innocent blood spilled on them. They've scarred and they've been cruel and they've caused hurt beyond anything deserving of forgiveness. But these hands, as rough and calloused and war-torn and guilty as they are, can be gentle too.

Katsuki learns the true meaning of kindness and devotion.

Where Are You (and I'm So Sorry) - TargaryenJedii

Chapter(s): 2/2 | 7984 words | Teen / No Warnings Apply

When Midoriya leaves, he writes a letter to everyone in class 1A. While he’s gone, Bakugou decides to write a letter of his own.

And when Deku gets back, he's shocked to stumble onto a few folded up pages containing Kacchan's messy handwriting.

Setting Suns - TargaryenJedii

Chapter(s): 1/1 | 2094 words | General / No Warnings Apply

And it’s not until a few weeks later, when Kaminari stumbles into the common room rambling about another dumb idea, when they see Bakugo simply stare at him with a blank look on his face and nod absently every few minutes, that they finally see. They finally understand why the whole dorm feels like it’s been flipped upside down overnight.

Midoriya left UA, and he took Bakugo’s voice with him. —— [Manga spoilers! *mild swearing] Midoriya leaves UA. The rest of the class tries to keep Bakugo standing while he’s gone

break my fall - enisle

Chapter(s): 1/1 | 7338 words | Teen / No Warnings Apply

Bitterly, he thinks that perhaps cruelty is best served like this: with the world still spinning on its axis and the space beside him unoccupied. Perhaps it is. Perhaps it should be worse. Perhaps all this is simply retribution.

The aftermath, through Katsuki's eyes.