#ANYWAYS HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR EVERYONE WOOP WOOP | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kyoosoup · 5 months ago

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reading through my old messages and vents is always a rollercoaster

some of my takeaways so far:

1. i can be proud on some counts cause in many cases i've grown or gotten better. some of my messages/vents were from very specific situations that i had either forgotten about or gotten closure to and it's weird to see?? these things that affected me daily are now just memories.

for instance the first time i got creeped on (not counting cat calls) was at work and we called the cops and stuff cause i was maybe 15?? and that really affected me and i mean i still think about it but i was a lot more paranoid back then and it was fresh yk. And im still wary now but it's not as present in my mind as it was.

another thing is how i would often be upset at myself for being lazy and having a hard time focusing and not being able to do schoolwork and burning out. and i would wonder what was wrong with me (poor little me). and now i know ! adhd! lol. my mom was confused about why i was happy to get my diagnosis when i did but for years i had been thinking that i just wasnt doing enough or trying hard enough when i didnt realize it was literally how my brain was wired. ( this was actually a very common theme in my vents thank you diagnosis)

2. sometimes i see replies from old friends and im like man. we used to be these daily presences in each others lives and really close and now we dont even speak or had falling outs. spooky???

3. i see how I myself used to type/speak too and it's weird . i am practically a different person now. the amount i feel like ive changed in the past few years alone is like . exponential compared to before. meeting new people, losing people, losing family, discovering new interests, discovering and accepting more about myself???? actually socializing lol.

4. also just some of my issues were CRAZY ??/ how did i forget that i was working 10 hour shifts back during covid. 6-4 . and then i had to go home and do school ( i couldnt focus at work). omg that was just awful how did i do that

5. whenever i look back at old stuff i am even more grateful for the friends i have now. i had friends at the time but a lot of them weren't very close as the friends i have now or the relationships weren't as healthy as they shouldve been. i often felt incredibly lonely and i can say for sure i have not felt like that in a while (at least not for long periods of time, ive probably had bad days like everyone). maybe some parts of my life now sorta suck but i haven't hated it as much because i have good people supporting me and a lot of close friends who make life well worth living. i could write about how much i love my friends for hours probably

6. omg i remember when some of my big problems were my crushes on boys . THEY WERE ONLINE CRUSHES TOO. you dont understand im actually so embarrassed for myself for like 80-90% of my past real crushes (i am not counting what i thought were crushes but i realize was just admiration or squishes/friend crushes) some people go for looks. some go for personality. somehow, 14-16 year old me chose neither. theres only one of those past crushes that i still keep in touch with and i will say he is chill and we are friends and i am not as embarrassed over that one since he wasnt a sucky person. but like i definitely liked this one guy who was not good for my mental health hahahahha woops. there were more recent embarrassing experiences for me but theyre too fresh i cant laugh at them yet without cringing

7. you know this isnt as related to the old stuff but im writing all this while once again basically forgetting i was kind of a mess earlier this year too. thank you bad memory but let me rewrite my mental history. i am only thinking about the good things this year .

Anyways i dont know why i even wrote this theres no target audience that this applies to i think i just got really bored

#qwlyapsalot #oh boy she's oversharing on the internet again #i love my friends #if you read all of this... why???? i mean . good on you and i love you for it but why???#okay enough feeling proud of myself for how far ive come. time to touch grass (eat dinner)

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6vaguebook · 9 months ago

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I-

You opened the flood gates.

This is your fault.

I just recently came up with a new idea for a story and I do not have time or room in my day for another WIP but woops the characters all have names now no turning back SO the idea is there's this superhero organisation in Japan but then some Super Villian with ice powers shows up and takes over I'm calling him The Cold One but it sounds super cheesy so I'll probably end up changing it anyway so this Super Villian a way to mind control people by using this special flower that requires super specific conditions to grow whose pollen can be extracted and melted into a liquid it takes several dozen flowers to make enough for a full dose of it but inserting it directly into (the blood stream? Nervous system? Idk I'll figure it out) let's him temporarily mind control people but it wears off in like a week so he uses this to mind control all the local villains except one who hasn't been seen for years so he can takes over Japan and then the super heroes form a resistance on a secret island one of them has and try to figure out how to fight him and the leader of said resistance is the resident Chosen One who was adopted by the hero Trainor/mentor when he was like a baby and Mentor guy drilled it into his head that because he's the Chosen One and destined to save the world that means his safety is the number one priority because no matter how messed up the world gets he can fix it later so as long as he's alive it doesn't matter and everyone thinks that's fine and all but ALSO he adopted two more kids (siblings, one of them is the main character) when they were like 8 and 6 because their mom (Villian that hasn't been seen in years) disappeared after a battle and never told them that's who their mom was instead he just told them she was a civilian who doid ANYWAY he drilled it into their heads that Chosen One's survival was the number one priority ABOVE THEIR OWN LIVES to the point where they are just casually taking hits for him on the field and all the other heroes are just slowly realising how messed up their world view is and also that it really does weigh on them because like Chosen One (who's just a kid btw like 17) feels horrible that the two people he grew w up with and are like siblings to him are sacrificing themselves and their health for him left and right and then one of them DIES protecting him (put a pin in that I'll get back to it later) and he and the main character are left to cope with that by going "well...it was necessary... that's his job" so now he feels horrible and the main character feels horrible because is her brother really worth less than her other sort-of-brother? And also the Chosen One kid feels a lot of pressure because he was basically told he cannot fail no matter what and also all three of them didn't really have a childhood it was mostly just training.

Anyway so like half way through the story the sibling who dies (can I just use names? The main character is Shota, her brother is Michio, the chosen one is Hideo and the Villian who's their mom is Chisato) anyway Michio gets hit with the mind control thing and out of NOWHERE Chisato decides this is as good a time as any to just SHOW UP and help and just like casually drops the bomb that she's their Mom and the reason she's here is because she just found out her son has been mind controlled and is not happy about it, and then The Cold One who needs a better name uses Mind-controlled Michio to figure out the location of the resistance's secret island and launches a full scale attack on it but Michio is kinda fighting the mind control whenever it starts to wear off so during the fight when Hideo is put in some real danger cause he's still in training and not ready to be out in such a large battle so Michio takes the hit for him and then he does because I'm evil and enjoy torturing my readers and traumatizing my characters and I'm still thinking about a way to make his death the reasonable conclusion to his character arc so it doesn't just serve the plot and all but yeah, anyway that's how Chisato and the other heroes get clued in on what Mentor guy's been teaching them so she chews him put and a bunch of their friends start being overly protective of them from him and they don't know how to feel about that cause he's been in their life forever what are you guys doing?

And then Chisato, cause she's a villain remember, decides killing the cold one ain't that bad of an idea and also she kinda emotionally adopts Hideo while she's at it and there's this big final show down where the hacker character manages to take over most of The Cold One's base and also they hit him at a time when either most of his Villian hench men are in need of a mind control flower re-dose or have been kidnapped long enough for it to wear off and all of them are Not Happy about all this so everyone teams up to defeat him and it works but a bunch of people die and then Chisato kills the cold one and then at the end she sorta just gives Shota a hug and like a way to contact her if she needs it and then disappears again with some super cryptic "I'll always be here for you" type crap and then it ends and wow that rant was longer than expected what happened

HELLO! CALLING ALL WRITERS

Please PLEASE ramble to me about your WIP. Getting ready for a dance concert and I'm stressed AF and am craving writblulr knowledge. Mutuals, anyone, if you have a story you're wanting to talk about. I'm here and willing to listen. Though I might not see all of them today as I'm tired and want to sleep when I get home I will read and respond to them eventually 👌🏻 speak.

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #Rant #story idea #story concept #Story rant #original story

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bleebu · 1 year ago

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midnight rambler

Life can be silly in the best ways

life can also be a pain in the ass

it can also be incredibly confusing. Like you don’t know what you’re supposed to do??? but maybe you do??? I feel like I always need some sort of direction. What can I do. What’s ok for me to do. How do I do it? I don’t know. You tell me. Goes for everything

I like life tho. It’s great. I’m happy to be here and I’m happy to know everyone I know right now, you’re all making me happy and I feel loved and appreciated. This goes for everyone even if they can’t read this post

no matter how silly it can be I think everything that happens to me has some sort of reason. It’s good. whether it be meeting people or having the most insane discussion with a friend it MATTERS. I’ll remember it forever. Which also makes it hurt a little. Someday that won’t happen anymore. Though I’ve made friends last a long time, whatever. Always afraid of people just… walking away tho. Probably because I did that years ago to people. They deserved it though. Fuck them. idk

I overthink a lot. I think that’s important for people to know. Whoever even reads this lmao. it’s something I absolutely hate. I second guess everything I say at every occasion, I’m not ignoring or. downplaying anything ever I’m just genuinely scared of being a total idiot and misreading things. sorry about that ig.

there’s a new Beatles song coming out tomorrow, that’s pretty awesome. I can’t believe it really but I guess I will when I hear it.

yeah anyway that’s probably enough rambling from my sleep deprived mind. I know I told myself I’d be asleep earlier. Woops

I love you

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userjungkook97 · 3 years ago

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best of 2021✨✨

i've been tagged by my loves @userjiminie @heybaetae @jiminswn and @bisexualrapline to post my favorite and/or most popular post from each month from this past year.

first of all, i’d like to thank you all for thinking of me, because i’ve been only more actively giffing since november and being mentioned by so many talented people that i admire and look up to was sort of a boost for me! you all did amazing works throughout the year and i can’t wait to see what 2022 holds for you! i hope you all know just seeing your creations sometimes gives me a bit of motivation and i hope i can make giffing a hobby more than i did since i started because i was back to enjoying myself while doing so, not only for the outcome on notes and all (even though it’s pointless to deny that those things do help a little, i remembered why i wanted to learn giffing in the first place - to have fun!).

okay, so, as i said, i’ve been only actively giffing more for the past month and a half or so, so i haven’t done many edits this year (lack of motivation was one of the many reasons why hehe), so i’ll just link my most popular here and some of my favorites from other blongs on months i haven’t done much on this blog.

below the cut because i ramble a lot for someone who wasn’t very much an active gifmaker this year hehe.

january: i didn’t do much back then because i was so stressed about an exam i had i only giffed one thing for all my blogs and it was for rosé teaser solo debut, so this has to be both the popular and favorite

february: again, i was busy with uni and wasn’t much active here (even though blackpink just had their only concert AND I DIDN’T GIF A SINGLE THING!!!!). so the only post i did was a birthday post for even bech naesheim on my skam sb because yes i celebrate fictional characters’ birthdays.

march: so march happened and rosé debut too! my post popular post is this rosé/roseanne edit and my favorite one some bits of the on the ground music video. i really enjoyed myself exploring bigger gifs and i really liked the colouring on both of these!

so it happens that from april until july i didn’t do much on this blog (uni and some uni break probably lmao) but i’ll like what were my favorite posts on my other blogs. april: this wandavision edit from my multifandom (mostly marvel) blog was my favorite edit to make. i don’t usually adventure myself with typography because i always think they turned out lame when i try but this one i enjoyed SO MUCH not only the result but also the making of it all. may: i’m torn between this favorite skam season or favorite skam episode because i liked exploring the things with the background image we had from season 3 and the texts. and i think they turned out really cool 🥺. june: once again, i only existed to celebrate another fictional character birthday, this time my beloved son isak valtersen last but not least, july: 0, zero, none edits this month. i apparently forgot to exist on the month of july, 2021.

august: look at this, back at giffing, who knew! but again, i was pretty much inactive and this lisa teaser trailer debut was my only edit, so, again, it’s both my most popular and my favorite (i really like it even though it’s pretty simple).

september: for this month i have a most popular post that is lisa in the lalisa mv but my favorite one is lisa on the money performance video - i liked the colouring of this last set so much.

october: once again, i was a ghost on this blog, but i was a bit active on my other blogs, so i’ll just like my favorites from each hehe. this lights up edit; this october 3rd edit and even clip and 21:21 clip (the way this one made me exhausted…)

november: okay, okay, the month i said OKAY LET’S MAKE GIFFING A HOBBY AND A HABIT. and i enjoyed it a lot. my most popular post was jimin tweeting army to thank for the AMAs wins and it’s one of my favorites, but my favorite from november is, for sure, a celebratory set of gcf tokyo - i liked pretty much all the edits i made on november, if i’m not too happy with a edit sometimes i don’t even post, but this has been happening less lately.

december: my most popular post fom this month is bts x lv for gq/vogue teaser and my favorite is namkook live ft. jin - maybe it’s because i’m soft for namkook but i also liked the colouring a lot.

so that’s it! since i’m a bit late, i’ll only tag a few people that i love their sets and you can do it if you’re up to it, but if not, it’s all good hehe. @taeunwoo @kimtaegis @supertunajin @jungkkyuk @blooodsweatandtears @plaids @bangguks

#tag games #choked that i had trouble choosing my favorites from november #and that october and may had some really nice ones too #hoping that 2022 i'll have some more inspo but i already have some ideas so that's a plus because i usually go: head empty #bibs stuff #ANYWAYS HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR EVERYONE WOOP WOOP

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cambria-writes · 2 years ago

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hello! happy new year darlings!

im late for rent (though i did send it a good while ago), one and half family members short and shit's fucked lmao. it's been a rough start of the year, but i hope everyone is doing well, staying hydrated and going to bed at reasonable hours!

bit delayed; i had intended on posting this over a week ago, but i'm a chronically ill bitch so shit kinda happened woops

pairing: patrick jane x reader word count: 2,801 rating: M warning: swearing, named afab reader, no y/n, no physical descriptions, reader is still a bit drunk, description of a panic attack, fuck it we're using british/canadian english now, unspecified age gap but it's there, there's kissing in this one!!

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖎𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓: ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔰𝔢𝔯

You wake up without realising you’d fallen asleep. Not entirely convinced you drank enough for it, you chalk it up to exhaustion. Blink a few times to clear your vision. Jane is still driving. By the speed, you must be in a residential area. You’re definitely not on a highway, anyways. Try once to ask where you are, but the words come out mangled and completely unintelligible.

“Glad to see you’re back with us.” The comment somehow irritates you. Grunt a few more times before your tongue can form words.

“Mmnnh, sure. Where—where are we?”

Jane frowns like he’s caught off guard by the question. Really? You just asked where you are. Was he just aimlessly driving? Did he forget you were in the car with him? You almost hope so. That probably means you didn’t snore. That would have been… embarrassing. You blink, and the confused expression is gone. Did you imagine it? Are you still halfway asleep? Maybe. You sink deeper into the car seat.

“I’m taking you home with me,” is the answer Jane settles on.

“Clearly not my home. I couldn’t afford a single room in one of these places,” you mutter, resting your head against the window and watching the streetlights go by. Try not to focus on the strange sensation in your stomach at the thought of actually stepping foot in The Patrick Jane’s home. You’re absolutely not thinking about it. Not at all.

When the car slows you can’t even tell the time on the dash. Not sure what woke up; the slowing car or the tension. Jane helps you pull yourself out of his citroen. Your eyes are closed most of the time. There’s keys rattling and a door opening. Immediately you’re hit with… something. A heavy feeling in the bit of your stomach, pressing uncomfortably against your sternum.

Jane whispers reassurances to you while he acts as a human crutch. Guides you to a couch to sit on. Figure it’s probably comfortable, but something about it feels off. You run your hands on the material of it next to your thigh. You’re not sure if you’re surprised that it’s suede and not leather.

The memory of seeing Jane’s murdered family making headlines comes unbidden. Completely uncalled for. You frown and make a vague attempt at growling the words away.

Warmth pulls at your hand. You realise you closed your eyes again. With bleary eyes, look up in front of you. There’s… no one there. Something in your mind begins to wake up. Twist around, with an arm on the back of the couch, to look behind you. There’s nothing there, either, but… but there’s a door. There’s a door half-hidden by a hallway corner. Screw your eyes shut a few times. Was that door there when you came in? Did you even pass through there on your way in?

When you turn back around to settle into the couch, you rest your head against the back of it. There’s no way you drank enough to be this out of it. Try to remember what you had to drink; there was definitely a lot of wine. More than you’d normally drink but… did you accept a drink from someone else? The poor wannabe mafioso boy? Did someone slip something in your—

“Hey, you with me?”

Jane’s voice startles you. Eyes wide, you catch him retracting the hand he’d reached out with. Clear your throat a few times. How far off in your thoughts were you?

“Yeah, uh—sorry. What’s up?”

The way Jane looks at you is unsettling. His eyes don’t seem to be doing more than flick back and forth between your eyes. You know better. Even your peripheral is picking up on his fingers. He’s… is he fidgeting?

“Are you—”

“I was just—”

Suddenly you’re thankful for the alcohol. This would definitely be the type of awkward situation that makes you want to jump off a cliff. Unpleasant. Jane motions for you to continue.

“I was, I wanted to—are you okay?” Wince at how loud your voice is. You don’t even know what time it is but it’s definitely late enough for there to not be a single sound around. Not even a car idling outside.

“Absolutely,” Jane replies easily, without missing a beat. Strange. “The guest room is ready. Do you need a glass of water?”

You can’t help but frown. There’s something just off about his choice of words and the succinctness he’s speaking with. Without thinking much, you just lean forward to let a finger brush against his left hand and.

And—

And you just drop, boneless, back into the couch like something suckerpunched you. You’re trying desperately to compute what just happened. You saw something. You definitely saw that, right? A bloody smile on the wall and—shit, fuck, were those bodies? Corpses? Was there any way you could’ve heard about that on the news? How much attention do you even pay to the news? Would news outlets have even known about details like that? Where on earth—

Somewhere, very far away, you can hear Jane calling your name. Your ears are ringing. There’s a logical reason for this right? Are you just having a belated post-traumatic episode? Are you just using familiar, impersonal imagery to deal with it?

You feel when Jane puts his hands on your knees. You feel it when his hands on your shoulders, shaking. It’s when his hands are on your face, thumbs brushing your brows, that you gasp for air. Slap a hand to his chest but not–not to push him away. You fist your right hand in his shirt and choke on your breath.

“Come on, breathe with me.”

Shake your head. No. You can’t breathe right. Not yet. Every time you blink you see something else. The note on the door–blink. A barren mattress against a wall–blink. A gasket, half the size it should be–blink. An old tube television playing the same tape over and over–blink. Your hand moves from being balled in Jane’s shirt to grabbing at his neck. Maybe, if it’s just a little more–

You close your eyes longer and screw them shut.

It plays like a movie, being sped up every few seconds. Driving through the house. Walking through the door. Put the mail down. Moving the bikes, training wheels and all. Taking the stairs two by two and then–

The note. The done, read quietly, and the slowly sinking realisation. And then the wall, lit with a lamp and the–

Try to blink the images and the–the tears? Blink all of it away. Bent over at the waist and holding onto Jane for dear life. It’s not what I see that’s distressing. It’s everything that comes with it–the shock, the consuming guilt, the rage and obsession. The dangerous edge that’s just under the surface, sharp enough to cut yourself just getting close to it.

He’s killed people, right? Patrick Jane has killed people. That’s the only way to identify the feeling of black sludge down your throat.

The image of the Devil comes to your mind, unbidden. Horns sharp and flames hot and rusting crown at his feet.

Jane tries to get up but tighten your grip on him. The movement jostles you almost painfully. Realize all your limbs are locked; knees trembling and arms shaking with the effort of holding on and holding still.

“Okay, alright,” you hear him say. Makes himself comfortable in front of you on the couch. “I’m not going anywhere. But you need to breathe, Skye. Whatever’s going on can’t hurt you here. You’re safe.” Slowly moves your hand to rest your fingers on his pulse. Steady, quicker than it should be, but thrumming. Constant.

He repeats a litany of reassurances, says to focus on his voice. The lights are too bright. Your eyes burn. Your throat burns. It hurts to breathe deeply. Try to pace your breathing with his heartbeat. Lose count of how many cycles you do like that.

“Tell me five things you touch,” you hear Patrick say. Safe enough.

“Dress,” you rasp, trying to flex your fingers. “The c-the couch.”

“Good. Keep going. What else can you feel?” The calm in his voice is almost maddening.

“Your–the–your shirt.” Cough once. Twice. Try to breathe deeper. “Your skin. The floor–under my feet. The floor.”

A thumb runs over my left brow. That shouldn’t feel as calming as it does.

“Good girl. You’re doing good,” Jane whispers. Something in his tone makes a shiver rip through your spine into your skull. “Give me four things you can see.”

Choke on the inhale. Only move your eyes. “The window. The coffee table. The fern. The…” You trail off, letting your eyes come back to the man in front of you. “You. I see you.”

“Perfect. Three things you can smell.” When did he move his hand? Why is he brushing hair away from your eyes?

“Dust,” you whisper. You try to add humour to your voice but it falls flat. Desperate. “The wine I drank. You.”

“Good girl. You’re almost there.” Is he… is he closer? “Two things you can hear.”

You exhale loudly and hope it conveys annoyance. There’s fucking nothing do be heard.

“My breathing, I-I guess.” All at once, it’s like the tension leaves your body. You let your head fall forward, rest your forehead against his. “You.”

“I’m going to start discounting that as an answer,” Patrick says, and you can feel the chuckle rumble between you. “One thing you can taste.”

You don’t let yourself think before you angle your head up an inch–the most movement you feel capable of, limbless as you feel. And kiss his forehead. Jane stays stone-still in front of you when you lick your lips.

“Am I still allowed to say y–”

All at once he crowds into you, forcing you to unfold, lean back into the couch. One knee propped next to your hip, one hand on the back of the couch and the hand at your cheek pulling you in.

But he stops just close enough for you to feel his breath against your lips.

The only thing you can hear really is both of your breathing, laboured and unsteady. Neither of you move; your hand grasping at his shirt trapped between you and your other at his jaw.

“You,” you whisper, taking a chance to break the silence. “I taste you.”

Jane keeping his silence for several interminably long moments. You can’t tell if it’s your heartbeat you can feel drumming through your arms or if it’s his.

“You’re impossible,” is all he says before taking his hand off the back of the couch and crushing his lips to yours.

You sigh through your nose and the rest of the tension leaves your body. You feel like you’re floating. It’s just a press of lips–nothing untoward, nothing explicit. But the way Patrick cards his fingers through the back of your hair has you feeling like you’re floating. Curl an arm around his neck to run your fingers through his hair in return.

Of course it’s fucking soft.

When Jane pulls back–slowly, like you’re a wounded animal ready to run at the first sign of movement–you try to follow. The squeeze of a hand at the back of your nek has you stay put.

“You need to sleep this off,” he says, and you resent how unbothered he sounds. Make a discontent sound at the back of your throat, which he has the gall to god damn scoff at. “You’re drunk and you just had a panic attack, Skye. You need to sleep.”

You sigh again and stare resolutely, though half-lidded, at a point beyond his right shoulder. You feel absolutely drained.

You weren’t exactly in full possession of your faculties earlier, and though you’re significantly less panicked, it feels like your skull is full of cotton. Everything seems to pass through like air.

“Not alone,” is the one condition you provide. You hope it sounds like it’s non negotiable. Because it isn’t. Falling asleep alone in this house, with all its windowed walls, would have been unnerving enough.

“Okay,” Jane says, after a second. “Can you stand on your own?”

Though you can, after being given the space to do so, you have to lean against him to actually walk.

“I think I was drugged,” you mutter, keeping your eyes on your feet. “I can’t think.”

Jane hums, but doesn’t offer any more of an answer than that. If you could just fathom the roads of your thoughts into a map, maybe you could figure out what that’s supposed to mean. You can’t, so you let it go. You’re slowly escorted to a double bed with the sheets peeled back. When Jane sits you down at the edge of the bed, it takes most of the energy you have left to turn around.

His fingers are warm when you feel them at your back, but they don’t move. You’re about to ask what’s wrong–or at least why he stopped–when you hear Jane pull away, followed by the rustling of clothes.

Your heart jumps into your throat and stays there.

“What are you–” You get cut off when arms circle around you and drape a very familiar button down across your front.

All you can think of is that it smells almost unbearably like him.

Warm hands are at your back again, and this time the zipper is slid down. Jane brushes the straps of your dress down your shoulders before stepping back again.

“You step out of your dress after you’ve put the shirt on,” he says quietly. “I’ll turn around until you say.”

You nod, mostly to yourself. Okay. Sure. Modesty. This is normal. This is what normal people who are adults and not in a relationship do. This is fine.

God, when was the last time literally anything was fine?

You swallow past the lump in your throat and slip the straps off your arms. Loop them into the sleeves and button the shirt from your sternum down. Sit on the edge of the bed properly and tug your dress off your legs from beneath the shirt. Keep your eyes on the floor the entire time.

“I’m–you’re good,” you stutter, playing with the edge of starched sleeves. And lift your eyes.

You absolutely refuse to look too closely at why your stomach feels like it’s doing its best impression of the Cirque du Soleil and immediately look away. It’s hard to breathe again.

This is what normal people who are adults and not in a relationship do. This is fine.

Jane says nothing as he walks up to you. Leans over to pull more of the comforter down, and you fixate on the nearest collarbone. He straightens only to place a hand on your shoulder and one at the back of your head–guiding you down until your head meets the pillow. Carefully gathers your legs and tucks them underneath the comforter.

His eyes don’t leave yours the entire time.

He only turns around once he’s brought the sheets up past your chest, and moves to the corner of the room to grab a chair. Brings it next to you when you lay in the bed.

“You can’t–Jane there’s no way I’m making you sleep in a chair in your own house,” you start to argue, trying to prop yourself up on your elbows.

“I’d keep you awake,” is the answer he offers. There’s nothing to read in his tone or his face, again. Just a blank statement that you’re perfectly at liberty of interpreting however you want.

“I’m in a bed I’ve never been in before in a house where…” You trail off. The fog in your head might be so thick you’d need a chisel to cut through it, but even now you can tell that bringing up murder is a bad idea. “In a house where I feel like a fish in a tank.”

Jane exhales sharply, akin to a laugh, but lets his hand rest on the pillow next to your head.

“You won’t be alone,” he says calmly. Knowingly. Bite your lip and turn to your side, to face him, and carefully put your hand in his.

It’s nice, for some reason. Seeing your hand in his. Seeing his dwarf yours.

“Sleep, Skye.” Jane settles into his chair, lets his head rest against the back and lets his other arm rest in his lap. Closes his eyes. “You can tell me everything in the morning.”

You huff–annoyed, confused, amused–but close your eyes, too.

And if you don’t dream of anything, when your heart finally calms down and you can finally slip into unconsciousness. It may have something to do with the warm body you wake up wrapped around in the morning.

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

let me know if you'd like to be tagged for the next update :)

@fucklife-or-me @newavenger @yearningforsappho @mamacakeishereforfun

#honey and the hatchet #the mentalist #patrick jane #patrick jane x reader #patrick jane fanfiction #patrick jane fanfic #the mentalist fanfiction #the mentalist fanfic #patrick jane x named reader #no y/n #there's kissing #this is the slowest burn in the history of slow burns #worse than the frog in the cauldron

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sammystuffies · 2 years ago

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Positive honeycraft rant

If y’all haven’t heard of honeycraft, it’s a vanilla SMP I am in with 11 others, most are here on tumblr! And earlier this month we celebrated one YEAR of our little corner of the Minecraft community, and as a holiday gift to them I wanted to share my thanks to them!

Honorable mention:

@12u3ie who isn’t a part of the server but our honorary member! We love ya 12 /p

Members:

@stormjay0 is currently on hiatus but will not be spared by my appreciation. Her content is so enjoyable and very underrated, the two of us are the chaotic braincells of the server. In the best way of course!

@exnoh is pm the only boy on the server and we love ya for it buddy xD seriously though he does his best to make it to meetings like everyone else but it’s hilarious because he’s muted the entire time and doing his own thing. Also his sona is so fun to draw sometimes.

@mixinu and @mgeekingout are the equivalent of cookies and milk, in the chaotic good way. I honestly can’t tell you how much these two are made for each other it’s adorable, they are both extremely talented artists and it drives me insane /pos

@sweetest-honeybee our beloved admin! Despite having almost no prior experience in being the admin back in s1 you couldn’t tell! She’s honestly the best base buddy I’ve had so far and the story we are making together with our terrible skits is cringey yet kinda engaging lol! Also we enjoy just talking about mcyt in general 😌

@fluffy-papaya is our current admin for this season and they are doing a great job! If you love lore PLEASE go and look for their videos because they are so good. Me and fluffy are the two biggest pranksters on this server, and we tend to prank each other sometimes lol

@redwinterroses isn’t on often but she is NUTS! 2 Smps AND still going to school, working, AND writing?? She’s crazy XD in all seriousness though I can never get enough of hanging out with Red.

SCPOwo and Faren, owo doesn’t have a tumblr and idk about faren so woops, but anyways owo is our pun loving friend (me too) as well as our local eldritch horror, no lore or videos, Just here for fun like me! Faren is the chill person on the server and honestly I want to hang with them more often, we get along really well!

@lelilawesell is one of our two new members who joined in the beginning of s2 and in skizzlemans words “friendship Jedi master” immediately when I met them I knew she would be a great fit for this fun server and I wasn’t more right. Also has one of the best laughs imho.

And last but definitely not least we have pistachio/Tashi! Our other new member is writing some amazing lore as well and is a great builder! After bee introduced her to our little server it would only make sense to have her join as well, also we both are good at improv lore. :D

That’s about it! Of course there’s so much more I want to say about them because being on a server with these amazing people is a dream, and even if some of them aren’t on often it makes those small moments even better. I still can’t believe it’s already been a year on honeycraft and I’m excited to see what the future will bring 💙

Happy holidays everyone, hope things are going well :)

#sweetesthoneybee #honeycraft2 #honeycraft smp #honeycraft #fluffy papaya #stormjay0 #exnoh #mgeekingout #mixinu #redwinterroses #lelilaplays #sammystuffies rambles #sammystuffies

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the7thcrow · 2 years ago

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CORYNN HI

belated merry christmas if u celebrate!!! wow im so late but let's pretend im not 🙂

i hope that you're doing well and enjoying the rest of this year!

also a question that has been on my mind lately, what is the inspiration of your username? i'd guess it's because of that book, 6 of crows? maybe i got the title wrong woops hehe but yeah!! feel free to explain it or not :) and also, if you'd like to, recommend us some books!! i'm not a native english speaker so i'm looking for a few books to read in english :^)

take care of yourself! and have a good day <3

so I had just finished typing a giant response to this when my laptop died and deleted the whole thing💀 so here we are for round two.

if you were late for christmas wishes, then I am like, horribly horribly late. so instead.. happy new year! hope it treats you well ash <3

as for my username, yes it is inspired by six of crows hehe. I made this account way back in 2017 and didn't rlly use it, but when I came back to write fanfic I thought it was kinda cool and kept it even though the blog has nothing to do with the series lol.

but as for book recs, ofc I have some! admittedly I haven't read much in the last year or two, so some of these I read a while ago and am not sure if they still live up to how much I loved them years ago, but I figured i'd include them anyway:

all time favs:

the secret history by donna tartt: this is like, my all time favourite book, when people ask this is what i say. it's the only book i've bothered to read twice. admittedly I know it isn't for everyone, as it's highly satirical and slow-paced, but if you're alright with that I can't recommend it enough. i'm low-key an avid hater of first person narration 99% of the time, but richard's perspective in this book is so deliciously horrible I can't help but love it. honestly i could talk about it forever. highly recommend.

the way of kings by brandon sanderson. this book is literally everything I could ever hope to achieve with my writing. so complex. such amazing characters and development. insane world building. and so massive. it's like 1200 pages, and there's four more with the same amount that are already out, of what will become ten. it is a commitment, but I think it's so worth it (I'm currently almost done book 2, and will be immediately picking up book 3). if you like fantasy this is my number one rec.

the grishaverse by leigh bardugo. given my username i'm sure this isn't a surprise lolol. this series includes some of my favourite characters across any form of media. it includes the shadow and bone trilogy, the six of crows duology, and the king of scars duology. personally while I think the shadow and bone trilogy is the weakest instalment (mostly bc I don't like first person narrative) it's where I would start. fun story, great cast, and a good way to settle into the world. they're also YA so they read pretty easy.

some other books/series I recommend (with variety for your reading preferences):

an ember in the ashes quartet by sabaa tahir

the raven cycle by maggie stiefvater

1984 by george orwell

turtles all the way down by john green

they both die at the end by adam silvera

the troop by nick cutter

illuminae by jay kristoff and amie kaufman.

#hope that helps <33 #mutual pals🕺🏼#asks #peachy-yabbay

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completeoveranalysis · 4 years ago

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Update!

Hello Everyone!

I hope you’re all doing ok!

It’s been a long while since I’ve been here, much longer than I had anticipated, but here I am again. I’ll chat a bit more below the cut, but for here’s a TLDR if you just want a summary: I’m not doing any new chapters for the blog just yet, but still intend to in the future. No dates or deadlines just yet but good recovery vibes all around.

I’ve rewritten this next bit a thousand times over the months and never really nailed how I want this to sound, but at the end of the day I just have to dial it back and go with it anyway.

So! I was a bit of a mess when I put the blog on hiatus all those months ago. I was also naive. I thought I would be away a few weeks, maybe a month max, and then everything would be all good and fine again.

You already know I was wrong about that.

In truth, my living situation had changed quite drastically earlier in the year and I wasn’t being fair on myself. I had taken on a lot of big and dramatic things, willingly and lovingly, and yet instead of giving myself any time to adjust I was forcing myself to keep the same high level of productivity in all areas of my life - this blog included, but everything else as well. It was a recipe for disaster and it was all my own doing, just out of pure stubbornness and a refusal to give myself the same attention and care I gave to everything else. And I mostly mention this because I want to use my experience as a warning to other people. You have to be kind to yourself. You have to. Sometimes you need a break and that’s not a weakness. Sometimes you need time to adjust to big changes and that’s not a weakness either. I hadn’t really learnt what that meant, so I had to discover it the hard way.

And then, naturally, while that was hitting its crescendo I developed a health condition that forced me to slam the breaks on everything in my life all at once. I kind of crashed and burned. It took time to properly get a diagnosis and finally get the treatment that would help me feel better again - and I do want to clarify that it’s nothing big or scary, especially these days, but the important thing is that it forced me to stop. And I won’t lie, I still struggle with the idea of actually relaxing. I’ve built myself into a corner where I really have to unlearn a lot of unhealthy behaviour and it’s something I still struggle with daily, but in a way it was the health problem that truly forced my hand and made me realise that I couldn’t just keep doing everything at the same rate I had always done before. So crashing and burning sucked, but it let me build myself up again from scratch and really come to terms with what I could and couldn’t do moving forward. Or at least begin to, anyway.

And then, woops, the world set itself on fire. We all know this bit - we’re all going through this still. It’s so far beyond my ability to describe here, so I won’t, but that’s another unsurprising piece of why I’ve been away for so long.

But here I am, slowly settling down into something a bit more stable. It’s been a long journey, and it’s not over yet, but I’ve been slowly collecting the pieces of myself I need to live the rest of my life, and I’m happy to say that I’m no longer half a step away from falling apart at any given moment. I’m alive in a way I’m not sure I ever was before. I’m also terrified about the state of the world and what it means for each one of us. But, one way or another, I have to think that everything will be alright in the end.

And this blog? It will continue. I don’t have the resources to leap back into the way I was doing things before, but I absolutely intend to continue this project to its conclusion. Expect slower updates for now. The rate I was doing things in the past was unsustainable in the long run, and I was dropping the ball on a lot of things as I tried to run for the finish line. I didn’t like that, and it still gives me a sick feeling even when I think about it now, so I’m working on that first. I’m going to be plugging away on all the smaller things that have been screaming for my attention for a long time (like answering messages, backing up the content, restoring the posts Tumblr has deleted, finding posts that have been missing for years, finding an easier way of moving forward, and making sure everything is of quality rather than focussing on speed). It’s going to be a while before I really figure everything out, but at the very least I can say I’m starting.

If you’ve read this far I thank you deeply. I hope you’re safe and that things are going as well as they can. Feel free to message me if you have any thoughts or ideas, or even just want to say hi - you’ll actually be able to reach me now.

And as we all move forward the best we can, just remember:

#Nick also talks about other things #including: nick talking at all #what a step!#Update #Everything will be alright

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neerasrealm · 4 years ago

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POV: Jeff the killer kidnapped you and is venting to you about his internalized homophobia

I COULDN’T THINK OF AN ACTUAL TITLE SO I WENT WITH THAT

Anyway hi this is a jeffxben fic told from jeff’s POV. a little bit angsty but mostly just cuddles and comfort. and one-liners. lots of one-liners. The ending is a lil messy and idk man I didn’t know how to finish the fic so- ignore that

Based on one of these story starters.

Word count: 1907

There are three things you need to know before you read this.

One; hi, I'm Jeff. Nice to meet ya.

Two; I killed my parents three and a half years ago. I know that's a lot to dump on you immediately but it'll be important later.

And three….I'm...gay. There. I said it. I like guys. I'm attracted to men. I want to kiss guys. Or specifically- one guy.

He has blonde hair, dark skin and bright blue eyes. And also pointed ears. He's a ghost, specifically one that's latched onto a Nintendo 3DS and a cartridge of Majora's Mask 3D. He looks like Link- but I'm not attracted to Link. Link is a twink and that's not my style.

His name is Ben and Ben? Ben is a bro. He's my bro. He's everyone's bro- he has that natural charisma that makes everyone like him. He's friendly, polite, funny and laid-back. He's always down to hang out with you or invite you into his room to play videogames. Everyone likes Ben. But me? I love Ben. As in- love love him. I want to kiss his goofy face. His lips probably taste like cheetos and beef jerky. Gross. I hate how much I think about how his lips would taste.

So now you're probably thinking "hey Jeff, why are you just vomiting your gay thoughts on me? Go tell him you love him."

But There's A Problem.

My parents- the dead ones- were really homophobic. Being gay just wasn't something you did. And it still feels wrong to me- which is weird considering the fact that my new adoptive parents are two gay men and my foster siblings are mostly homosexuals. But it still feels wrong. No matter how much I'm exposed to it I still feel that slight guilt whenever I catch myself admiring Ben while he trash talks someone, and I want to punch myself whenever I wake up from a dream about cuddling him.

So that brings me to this situation.

Picture this, okay? I'm sitting on his bed with a controller in my hand. We're playing smash bros and having a great time. I'm having...not a good day. You remember the dead parents thing? The trauma I mentioned? Yeah that's been haunting me all fucking day and I'm not feeling good. At all. And of course I'm not gonna tell anybody about it, because that means I have to address the problem. And I never, ever, address problems. Ever. They'll fester in me till the day I die. Like maggots.

That's gross I apologise.

But- yeah. I'm not feeling good and I'm hiding this fact from Ben because he cheers me up way better when he doesn't know I'm sad.

"Hah! Gotcha!"

"Shit-!" I swear as my character (king k rool, in case you wondering) flies off the stage. Ben laughs and woops beside me in victory. I shoot him a glare.

"Man you suck at this game." He laughs.

"I don't suck." I spit back. "You're just really good."

"Suuure you are." The smug look he gives me makes me wanna punch him. My hand curls into a fist in my lap. I grunt at him in response. He laughs and nudges me. "Hey it's alright Jeffy," I hate that nickname with the burning passion of a thousand suns. "You'll learn how to play soon enough."

"Lay off, man." I mutter back. I drop the controller and he snickers.

"Aww c'mon don't tell me you're rage quitting on me."

"Shut up dude just-" I shoot him an agitated look. "Just shut your stupid mouth okay?"

His smile drops. "Hey, you okay man?" Shit. He sounds worried.

"I'm fine." I grunt back. He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. "Get off."

The hand withdraws. I hear him shift on the bed next to me. "Hey, dude-" he frowns. "Are you feeling alright today? Do you- need to talk or chill or…?"

I glare at Ben. He's being nothing but supportive and kind and what am I doing? Being an ass. "No I don't need to fucking chill." I growl at him. "I'm fine, alright? Just fine."

"Alright…" it's quiet for a bit while Ben turns off the game. Eventually he speaks again. "You wanna watch a movie or something? I'm tired so…"

This is a trick. He's tricking me into taking care of my mental health. Fuck you Ben, I'll be as mentally ill as I want.

‘’I’m gonna go to my room.’’ I stand up and immediately get YANKED back onto the bed by my hood. Ben’s noodle arms wrap around my waist and hold me tight. ‘’Dude-!’’ this is getting a little tOO HOMO-EROTIC, BENNY BOY.

‘’Stay.’’ he murmurs. ‘’I wanna keep an eye on you.’’

‘’Why?’’ I snarl. ‘’Because I’m a stupid kid that can’t look after himself?! Huh?!’’

Ben flinches. ‘’Jeff-’’ he murmurs. ‘’It’s not that I don’t trust you it’s because I know that you need the company right now.’’ he frowns. ‘’Just- lemme keep an eye on you, alright…?’’

Fuck.

fuuuuUUUUUCK.

Why does he CARE SO MUCH. I HATE IT. I’m gonna slam my head into a wall. Gimme a minute.

…

Okay wall slamming accomplished. Back to my predicament.

‘’Fine.’’ I grunt. He (unfortunately) lets go of me. It’s silent. And uncomfortable. I pick at my fingers. He tilts his head at me.

‘’So- anything you wanna do?’’

I wanna hug you and kiss you and tell you I love you please Ben I’m gay and homophobic at the same time. ‘’Not really.’’

Ben puts a hand on my shoulder and scoots closer. He rests his hand on my other shoulder and...oh god I can fucking smell his hair from here- that’s creepy. Why am I creepy. Actually don’t answer that one. He looks up at me, bright blue eyes shining with kindness. ‘’You wanna talk about it…?’’ he asks gently. Normally I wouldn’t talk about my problems. Ever. But Ben is giving me puppy dog eyes.

‘’...I’m just thinking about mom and dad.’’ I mumble. He nods. ‘’They- treated me like shit. And I keep thinking about the shit they’d say to me-’’ I look down at him. He nods encouragingly. ‘’It’s like...they fucking hated me for all the shit I did- and now I’m here and people are understanding? And Slender- is actually trying to learn why I’m like this? Like- diagnosing me and shit to try and help…’’ I frown. ‘’And I’m just thinking like- if they’d sent me to a therapist would it be different? If I’d just gotten diagnosed or something-’’ I shake my head. ‘’I dunno man…’’

He sits up a bit. He hugs me, pulling me against him. My face goes fucking red. ‘’Maybe things would’ve…’’ he murmurs. ‘’But we can’t change the past...there’s no magic ocarina to take us back in time unfortunately.’’ of course he made a zelda reference. Of course. ‘’We just gotta accept what we got now,’’ he smiles. ‘’And we got each other, right? That’s something to be happy about, isn’t it?’’

Oh god Jeff don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Not here. Not in front of the man you love.

…

And you’re crying. Good job Jeff.

I’m not a loud crier. But I am a gross crier. I get all snotty and stuttery and can’t get my voice out properly. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes and silently roll down my gross scarred face. Ben reaches over and brushes them off with cold fingers. He feels cold as he hugs me but I don’t care. I wrap an arm around him and tug him closer. I can feel his breath on my neck as he gently shushes me. He sounds so caring, so...loving. Like a parent should treat their mentally ill kid.

‘’B-ben-’’ I stammer out. He’s rubbing circles in my back. ‘’I lo-’’ wait what am I saying. ‘’I l-love-’’ WAIT HOLD ON- ‘’I love you…’’

SHIT

FUCK

WAIT-

He hugs me tight and I shiver in the coldness of his body. ‘’I love you too…’’ his voice is soft and gentle. I believe him. I believe that he loves me. Genuinely- like I actually matter to him. He’d miss me if I was gone. And that- that’s a lot. I’ve spent my whole life feeling like it wouldn’t matter if I disappeared off the face of the earth. You wouldn’t care, my parents wouldn’t have cared. But Ben? Ben cares…

Which is why I proceed to squeeze the life (or lack thereof) out of him and sob into his shoulder. He holds me tight until I’ve (kinda) calmed down. He pulls away and tilts my head up to look at him. As gentle and as loving as I’d dreamed him, he wipes tears out of my eyes. I sob horsley and stare at him. He cups my face in his cold hands and smiles down at me.

‘’There you go…’’ he murmurs. ‘’See? I knew you just needed to get it out.’’ he smiles at me. I just- told him I love him. And he’s not making a big deal of it. That’s good, right?? That means he accepts me- right?

Right...yeah. Yeah, Ben accepts me. Ben doesn’t judge.

‘’Yeah…’’ I gulp and look away from him awkwardly. ‘’Hey uh- do you wanna-’’ I fiddle with my hands again. ‘’Do you wanna...watch a movie or something? Together.’’

He nods and smiles. ‘’I’d love to.’’

And so- we end up watching not one, not two, but three movies, late into the night. And the entire time he’s curled up in my lap, comfy as can be. As the credits on our last movie roll, he looks up at me.

‘’Hey Jeff?’’

‘’Yeah?’’

‘’I love you.’’

My face goes bright fucking red. I don’t need to see it, I can feel it. I bury my face in my hands out of embarrassment. I hear him laugh at me like the bastard he is. I shoot him a glare from in between my fingers. I want to say it. I really do. I want to tell him I love him back but- it’s- it’s hard. He reaches up and pulls one of my hands away, letting him see me.

‘’You don’t have to say it back. It’s okay. I know.’’ He hugs my waist and rests his head against my chest. ‘’I can wait...until you’re ready.’’

It’s at this point I start crying. Again.

Ben shushes me gently and runs his hand through my hair. And...as I looked down at him- it finally clicked. I don’t have to put the shield up- not around him. Ben is different. Ben...Ben is good.

Yeah.

Ben is good.

I guess...the reason why I’m telling you this- well...not telling, I guess- writing. The reason why I’m writing this is because...I feel like it’s something important. I need to remember it because...it’s a step. A step in me learning to accept myself. It sounds corny yeah but- fuck off okay? I’m full of trauma and insecurities. I’m allowed be a little sappy.

I don’t know who’ll end up reading this- I mean I’m literally scribbling it into a notebook I found in his drawer. There’s only two people who I really want this to be seen by. Ben, because he deserves to know how much he’s affected and helped me, and two...my brother. Though I doubt he’d ever find this- heh-

I...love Ben. And that’s okay. At least- to me, I think it is.

#creepypasta #creepypasta fanfiction #creepypasta fanfic #jeff the killer #jeffery woods #ben drowned #jeffdrowned #jeffxben #jeffben #writing

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upthenorthmountain · 4 years ago

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Burning Bright

And this is my story for the @frozines zine! It’s set in my Flatmates universe, about three months after the main story. Enjoy!

Burning Bright

“Hello?”

“Kristoff, mate! I have some excellent news.”

“What’s that?” Kristoff said, and mouthed ‘Sven’ to Anna, next to him on the sofa. She nodded and put her head back down on his shoulder.

“Since we now live somewhere with a garden, we have decided to throw a BONFIRE NIGHT PARTY.”

“Yeah?”

“And the fifth is a Friday this year so it’s perfect. You in?”

“Sure, sounds good. I think we’re free.”

“What?” Anna said, sitting up again.

“Bonfire party at Sven and Jess’s. On the fifth.”

“Ooooh! Yes yes yes that sounds amazing.”

“Anna doesn’t think she has anything better to do so we might pop along,” Kristoff said back into his phone.

“Do you need us to bring anything?” Anna said, climbing half onto his lap and leaning so that her mouth was near the phone. “Like any food or anything? Or any fireworks? Or any sparklers -”

Kristoff leant back out of her way. “Well done, mate, you’ve got her all over-excited.”

“We’ll bring sparklers!” Anna said.

“We’ll bring sparklers,” Kristoff said into the phone, deadpan.

“Oh, awesome, I didn’t think about sparklers. Don’t worry about food, we’ll do the food. I’ve got a leaflet here from the fireworks stall at Tesco. Do you think we should get the Alpha Supreme Selection Box, or the Jupiter Mega Box?”

“I think those both sound too big for your handkerchief of a garden.”

“You aren’t invited if you’re going to be a big chicken party-pooper wet blanket. Anna can come, but not you. She knows how to have a good time.”

“Please don’t set fire to my girlfriend.”

“I’m not going to set fire to anyone or anything. Promise.”

-----

Since moving into their new house in the summer, Sven and Jessica had thrown several parties - a housewarming, multiple summer barbecues, and Sven’s birthday party, to name a few - and Kristoff knew what to expect. The firepit was lit in the corner of the garden, and had been dusted with a powder that made the flames change colour. There was a table of food just inside the back door, and coolers of ice and bottles just outside, as well as a steaming pot of mulled cider on the hob in the kitchen. Anna soon flitted off to chat with other people she knew, and Kristoff helped himself to a beer and a chicken drumstick and looked for a place to sit.

“So, when are you going to ask her to marry you?”

Kristoff jumped at the voice right behind him. “Sven, for god’s sake. And we haven’t even been together three months.”

“What? She’d say yes.”

Kristoff glanced over at Anna, sitting on the garden wall chatting to Jessica as she ate some corn on the cob. She looked up and caught his eye, and smiled; when Kristoff looked back at Sven, his friend was looking amused.

“She’d say yes,” Sven repeated. “Do it do it do it.”

“Shut up,” Kristoff said, mildly. “I’ll do it when I’m ready.”

“We’ve got ahead of you, you need to catch up.”

“We do not. The situation is under control.”

“Why wait?”

“Because proposing after three months is a crazy thing to do, it’s way too early -”

“- not if you know it’s what you want and you know it’s what she wants.”

“You guys were together two years before you got engaged.”

“Yes, but I’m lazy.”

Kristoff rolled his eyes.

“Whatever,” Sven said. “I’m going to start writing my Best Man’s speech anyway. And you can’t stop me.”

“Who says you’d be my Best Man?” Kristoff said, but Sven was already walking away to greet some new guests.

-----

“Fireworks time!” Sven announced, once most of the food had been cleared away and drinks had been refilled. “I have put a bucket of sand to put the fireworks in, right over there -” he waved to the bottom of the garden - “And I have already nailed the Catherine Wheel to the trellis post, and I have a taper to light things and a torch to read the labels, so if anyone has anything to say about my safety measures then speak up now or forever hold your peace.” He looked at Kristoff, who said “Do you have a bucket of water?”

“What? Why?”

“In case of fire. And to put sparklers in while they’re still hot.”

“Yes, sparklers,” said Anna, rummaging in her bag and pulling out several packets. “Who wants a sparkler?”

Sven had walked off with a martyred expression; he returned after a couple of minutes with a bucket of water, which he placed at Kristoff’s feet.

“I will take a sparkler, thank you,” he said. “You know,” he added to Kristoff, “You can be a right royal pain in the backside.”

Anna handed Kristoff a sparkler, and lit hers from the firepit, then used it to light Kristoff’s. He lit Sven and Jessica’s while Anna made cheerful hearts and stars in the air.

Sounds like someone doesn’t want to be my Best Man after all, Kristoff so nearly said, before remembering that Anna - among other people - was within earshot. What would Anna say? It was niggling at him now, now that Sven had brought it up. He’d been happy enough just to be with Anna, but now - he wanted to know what she would say, if he did ask. Damn you, Sven, he thought.

Anna drew a heart around his face with the last bit of her sparkler, dropped it in the bucket of water, and pulled him down by the shoulders so that she could kiss him.

“Stop looking so grumpy,” she said. “It’s a party.”

-----

The box of fireworks contained a selection of Roman Candles in different colours. Sven held each one up and read out the name to cheers from the spectators (“This one is called Meteor! This one is Vesuvius! This one is called Golden Showers, I swear to God that’s what it says, look if you don’t believe me.”). There were also a few rockets, which had to be stuck into the bucket of sand very carefully, and then zoomed off into the sky to explode in a handful of coloured sparks.

Anna had started stamping her feet to keep warm, so Kristoff opened his coat and hugged it round her. “Does my hair smell smoky?” she said, snuggling back against him.

“Little bit. But it’s a nice smell.”

“Mm. A nice autumn-y smell. Ooh! That one was nice - can we go to the display in the park tomorrow?”

“Sure, if you like.”

“Last year they had doughnuts. I went with some people from work. Ooh!”

Kristoff kissed the top of her head. “Elsa not a fireworks person?”

“I know you’ve never met her, but I feel like you should know by now that no, Elsa is not a fireworks person,” Anna said.

“And now!” Sven announced, “The grand finale! The pièce de résistance - the Catherine Wheel. Behold!”

He lit the touchpaper carefully, and ran back to the patio by the house. The touchpaper burnt, and lit the whole wheel, which gradually started to turn. Everyone cheered.

But after a moment, the wheel ground to a halt. Flames were still spurting out of the sides, and there was starting to be an unmistakable smell of burning wood.

“Mate,” Kristoff said. “Mate, I really think -” There were now definite flames that were separate from the firework.

“The trellis has caught,” Sven said, “Shit -”

But Anna was already running past them, grabbing the bucket, and hurling the contents at the trellis. The cold water hissed into steam as it put out the fire, but with rather more of a clunking, crashing noise than she had expected.

They all stared at the smouldering trellis for a moment. Sven cleared his throat.

“Firstly, Anna, thank you,” he said. “Quick thinking there. Secondly…”

Anna looked at the bucket she was still holding. It was not the one Sven had filled with water earlier; it was plastic, and rectangular, and, well, insulated.

“Secondly,” Sven continued, “That’s actually the cooler and you’ve just thrown all the beer halfway down the garden.”

“Woops,” Anna said.

“Good job there’s plenty more in the fridge,” Jessica said briskly. “Thank you, Anna.”

“Thank you, Anna,” Sven said. Then he nudged Kristoff in the ribs. “Looks like we didn’t need your bucket after all.”

#kristanna #zine #flatmates #modern au #fanfic #fanfiction #bonfire night

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epicstuckyficrecs · 5 years ago

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Weekly Recap | March 30-April 5

Out of self-isolation, woop woop! Also a first for me, there’s a podifc on the recap for the first time!

Complete

💙 [Podfic] If They Haven't Learned Your Name by quietnight/ @quietnighty (Post-WS | Podfic lenght: >10h | Not Rated): aka Steve and Bucky's Global Honeymoon Revenge World Tour.

in the heat of the moment by Deisderium/ @deisderium (ABO, Pre-TFA | 9K | Explicit): In which Steve presents very late as an omega. Bucky isn't supposed to go see him, but when has he ever done what he was supposed to do where Steve is concerned? (Part 1 of would smell as sweet)

💙 good on my own (needed me) by mcwho (Modern AU | 12K | Explicit): There are some mistakes that could be made by anybody. Anybody. Bucky taught high school pretty much his whole life, and that was fine, those were kids, and he knew all of them anyway, which meant there was very little chance of him accidentally fucking any of his students during an impulsive post-marital-breakdown Grindr hook-up. Which is exactly what he had done with Steve.or: bucky has not let steve rogers fuck him since his sophomore year (Part 1 of himbo-verse)

cheffing and sabotage by mcwho (Modern AU | 3K | Explicit): "So,” Steve says conversationally. “That’s a yes on the olive oil. For lube purposes.” Part 2 of himbo-verse

Brooklyn by togina/ @toli-a (Post-WS | 8,7K | Teen): "Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?" Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

Poise and Rationality (Have Nothing to Do with Steve Rogers) by romanticalgirl (Canon-verse | 1K | Teen): Steve does something stupid.

💙 bullet in a gun (but in the end, my time will come) by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (Post-Endgame, Canon-divergent | 25K | Explicit): Post-Thanos, Bucky Barnes has happily settled into a life of peace and pining. That’s when alternate versions of the best friend he’s secretly in love with start showing up.

💙 Two Colors, White and Gold by Carelica (Canon-Divergent | 36K | Explicit): He’s here, he’s alive. His hand is on a tree.

Never go to bed alone when you have a library card by relenafanel/ @relenafanel (Library AU | 5K | Teen): Tall, blond hottie (in a sweater) was back, staring at the wall of new and popular titles with a thoughtful expression on his face. He came in every Tuesday night like clockwork, read through the summaries on the back of a handful of books with his profile turned just enough towards the front entrance that Bucky could see the slope of his nose and take joy in watching those arm muscles minutely flex as he shifted the book in his grasp.

💙 Like it’s the Only Thing I’ll Ever Do by howdoyousleep/ @howdoyousleep3 (ABO AU | 39K | Explicit): When Steve opens the door, Bucky feels like he’s been living in clouds for the past few days, maybe even his entire life. Steve is life, Steve is happiness, Steve is the sun. He has such a visceral reaction to seeing the Alpha that he feels his knees go weak, feels his body draw tight towards the other man, pulled in. Or big Alpha Steve moves into sweet little Omega Bucky’s apartment building and a roller-coaster build of a romance ensues.

lay all your love on me by chilibabie07 (Canon | 1,4K | Mature): Bucky wakes up to an empty bed and goes to look for Steve so he can be cuddled.

WIP

Baby, you could be the death of me by SinpaiCasanova (Werewolf Steve, ABO AU | 1/2 | 3K | Explicit): It’s strange for him to consider that fate or the universe–whatever is driving this compulsion, really–needs Bucky here for some reason or another, but he’s passed by these woods at least a thousand times before on his way into town, and each time his eyes drifted toward the trees, his heart would give a restless tug against his ribs like an excited dog on a leash. Eventually, the call became too much for him to ignore, and so here he is, surrendering himself to the woods and praying like hell that he doesn’t end up in the belly of a beast by daylight.

The Mnemosyne Project by onymousann (Post-WS | 11K | 4/? | Explicit): Someone’s trying to talk to the Winter Soldier. Steve intends to find out who. (Part 2 of ocean eyes)

💙 How to Fuck With (and Feed) Your Soulmate by BlueSimplicity/ @bluesimplicity73 (Soulmate AU, Shrunkyclunks | 11/? | 65K | Explicit): It’s called the Grey Space; a patch of skin marking you as blessed and the first sign you have a soulmate. Steve Rogers didn’t have one when he crashed into the ice. But he did when he woke up in the future. The second sign is the Sense, a sharing of one the senses to help soulmates find each other. Steve’s Sense, taste, is rare, but he loves a challenge and a soulmate is a gift from the Fates. Except instead of a blessing, it’s a curse, since his soulmate is a dick. Bucky Barnes loves food and a homecooked meal is something he cherishes. When his Grey Space starts to itch, Bucky can’t help his excitement, since the Sense he and his soulmate share is taste. But not for long. Whoever he’s bound to has the blandest diet in the world, ignoring all Bucky’s messages. After weeks of putting up with tasteless food, Bucky decides to strike back.

Re-Read

We're All Stupid When We're Hurting by Taste_is_Sweet/ @taste-is-sweet (Post-WS | 8K | Teen): Bucky had completed missions while in more terrible pain. It was amazing what you could push through when the punishment for failure was so much worse. But he hadn't needed to do that for over a year now. He'd gotten used to not being in pain, remembered what it was like to be human. He knew no one would ever put him in the chair again. He knew he was safe here. He knew Tony could fix his arm without hurting him. Of course he did. But it didn't make a damn bit of difference to the terror that shook him like a dog at just the thought of sitting down and stretching his arm out for Tony to fuck with. Might as well stretch out his neck to have his throat slit. Hell, that'd be easier.

💙 we gotta let go of all of our ghosts by hitlikehammers (Post-WS | 8K | Mature): It’s just hard, really, if he’s honest: this time, more than the first, here in a new millennium, having found Bucky again against all odds, in a time where there was hope, where they could have been… Well. It’s just that it’s bad enough to come in second place to a Stark once in his lifetime. But twice might just be more than Steve can bear.

The thing that drives the wolves away by caughtinanocean/ @wintergaydar (Post-WS | 7,8K | Teen): The thing about Bucky these days is that, while he might be a semi-mythical assassin, he's also vulnerable—the kind of vulnerable that makes total strangers want to drape a blanket over his shoulders and take him to safety. The problem is, of course, that Bucky is already safe.

#stucky #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic rec #weekly recap

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bloopbyoop · 4 years ago

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weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!!

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe.

x :D

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madfantasy · 5 years ago

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hii! sorry if you've answered this before, but how did you find your own art style? it's nothing like i've seen before, very dream-like (: i feel like with so many artists out there it can be hard to find one's own style but yours is truly unique. if it's not too much to ask, do you still have any of your first drawings? thank you 💕💕

(Oh & I'm sorry if I have answered it before, I didn't find anything on my blog so woop here comes my blaber)

Hello dear!

Thank you so much, you flatter me and my bit-som of art-som, heh. Specially that you have called it dream like— cuz 1/4 of my creations does come from my dreams. I even had a dream about Severus a couple of days ago- was explaining to him the concept of gestures in smartphones, I told him it's like pulling down a scroll, to get the notifications, lol.

Before I start side-tracking too much, yes- I can't say I do know how it happens, I guess I wasn't on the base of looking for an art style for myself, or ever considered myself an artist— or a real one? Idk. The idea of having an 'art style' doesn't register with me so I'm possibly always confused what to make of it.

I mean, I didn't go into art for art's sake. I don't enjoy beauty just for beauty's sake. It has to have a meaning, purpose, hidden dilemma you need to solve just by looking deeper; is it speaking to me, or am I speaking for it?

My only concern since the beginning of time of Mani apparating this earth and what got them into drawing anyway is: telling the story as best as possible.

I was drawing before I learned speaking. It was my instinctive language. I had something to say? Illustrated it on a piece of paper to show.

Everything I see in my surroundings or mostly in mind, I had a story to tell about. So I didn't even consider that I was making art.

I remember when I developed enough cells to be aware- I started trying to copy or capture the basics of family members, making stories about them, also games or shows I played; I drew Crash bandicoot, driving into a cliff because he was hated by his family, Tiny wearing an abaya. Pink panther cuz how tall he was weirded me out in a fascinating way, Tarzan and his special muscles, a story about an abused squid lady that eventually turn into a mermaid, a guy turning into a hero coz of some near death experience.. mmm stories about my favourite stuffed rabbit CeCe Bobo— probably the only innocent adventures I drew as a child— I wanted so badly to make them into a video game, having their parents fall into a pit of flames, heh.

And because I had daily TV episodes in my brain of whatever to occupy me from unsanitary real life; I associated with many people I love to see materlized; my characters. So I had to try & draw them exactly how they look/feel, and that's what my art slowly developed based on; is this guy the way I seen and felt him look like? If not, try other ways.

At first, I drew them with literal basic shapes, like a character would have a square face, and another heart, and if I couldn't draw circle, I used my pencil sharpener that was shaped as a circle. A method still I use to differentiate my characters (without the pencil sharpener lol)

Later, since my characters have generally my favourite things, or things I enjoy, things I appreciate— basically things from me directly or from my choices, conscious they were or not—had them chopped and scattered between the lot of them. And to learn how to do some favourite factors of them is what drives my art style I suppose. I knew I didn't want it realistic, but I also didn't want it unreal. What makes art real? That's probably the always questions I face.

Ofc, I was face with so many problems to deteriorate my passion for drawing. Like, not being allowed to draw in the first place. I had wait till everyone is gone or occupied, had to always look over my shoulder and must constantly hide every inkling of any art making, and act like the project I'm making is for school, and draw in breakfast breaks at school. I used to draw under my blanket and store my art between my books or under my pillow (never related to anything so hard like when Harry was studying magic and Dursley keeps checking on him, honestly heh). Either all that or I get the whip.

Or being told what's the point of having a style like that while everybody obviously enjoys popular styles like anime or cartoon? Why don't I draw like the popular to get noticed? I don't know how to draw anime or cartoon even if I tried. It will just show as my art style, no? Exactly like speaking two different languages with the same letters.

Or like the idea of strictly sticking to gendering things while the idea never occurred to me. The base line of how men has to be ugly and women pretty. My motto is showing beauty in everything, even in scary or messed up things hehe. But I had to consent to making my guys 'ugly' as possible to continue drawing, and if u notice a line on their throats, that's one other thing I had to do, wasn’t allowed to draw girls either. And I wasn't happy with any of that at all.

But I was able to win my right to draw anytime I like in recent years, and able to draw how I like how I use digital means. So it got better heh.

And no it's not too much, if anything, it was took me on a dusty beautiful trip of nostalgia, I thank you for it. Sadly I don't have my first drawings, and I do treasure them but they all been tossed, torn and burned before me over the years, heh.

The oldest thing I got is this, a comic made, was 11 years old I think:

Medo, a guy so beautiful that he was forced to work as a femal model, concept that felt the best to me, heh. Even tho I was in no contact with the outsider world.

He is my first solid character and I made endless comics of him.

He's develop into this -dated 2014- , he's fairy sentinel.

And I found few of my old or first time drawing them pics of the main characters in my stories, I'd love to share:

Juicy and X-bi— second ones I made. But these drawings are maybe 2 or 3 years after I made them

I know I said that lots, but x-bi was a mask wearing imaginary friend I translated into X-bi. He has almost always cold hands so I used to put my skin on cold metallic surface and imagine it his hands trying to ease the pain.

And since I had no audience home, my stuff showed at school as i drew alone, always with various replies of 'its good, but'

Juicy got me in trouble with a teacher, by a careless student that was browsing my drawings In front of them, and I was classified as mentally deranged and need help for not drawing the usual princes and white knight.

Fernando and Carlos are also old characters that expressed romance in everything they do, so when I had a drawing of them Carlos tending to a fevered Ferry, and it was snatched from me, everyone considering it intimacy and I had to punch my way through them to get it back. Being called perverted and sick in the process, even tho all they talk to me about is marriage and the process of making babies. One of them literally told me on random occasion that their heart was like a ten story building for rent, there's always someone new in and out.

Carlos is Fernando's soul guardian💛

I created General Pumbkin in school! expressing fashion in strictness with my fav hooked nose!

Axel was my joy in everything, and the most common character I got beat up for, for being girly. I don't draw him too much anymore but seeing him again made me auto happy , hes all about giving loff, darling hehe

Candy, a less brain developed babyy

Brain and Pain, my sibs fav characters from my bag, heh

And Sabine was said to me that he should be a girl to be that scared in a scary story, his story is like dark and twisted fairytales vibe that I love dearly. I'm trying to continue writing his story.

Despite whatever, I love doing art, I have to. It what gives me soul juice heh.

And thank you for sticking on my prolonged answer. I hope I didn't bore too much, I'm flooded with memories happy and bad, and they are all okay. It made me feel passionate again, so thank you for the opportunity 🙏

1.5.2020

#sadttitude #my art #oc #drawing journey #personal #abuse #tw

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ibelieveinharrystyles · 5 years ago

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Chapter Eight: A Whole New World

Forever? Masterlist

16th January 2017 “Harry what do I wear?” Ashley asked her best friend bluntly from the other end of the phone as she riffled through her chaotically messy wardrobe.

“You woke me up at five in the morning to ask me what you should wear? I thought something serious had happened.” Harry mumbled, his head resting comfortably on his pillow.

“Harry this is a very important day, I need to look the part.”

“Ash, you do know it’s radio, no one is going to see you.” Harry assured her, “But if you want my advice, wear the red roll neck jumper, with those ripped black jeans and Doc Martens.”

“I knew I could count on you Harry.” she sighed.

“I hope it goes well today love.”

“So do I,” she sighed, before proceeding to hang up the phone.

The tube was eerily quiet compared to Ashley’s usual journey to work, when she worked in the office her shift was 8 till 4, meaning hitting rush hour was inevitable, but getting to work for before 6AM meant an early tube, dropping Daisy off at the childminders on the way. Ashley was grateful that her journey was now somewhat more bearable, even despite the early wake up time, the only other commuters were those travelling in to the city for early starting jobs, and the people who had got drunk the night before and had spent the whole night asleep, travelling the whole length of the northern line. She hurried through the empty tube station, making sure not to be late. In an attempt to make a good impression on her fellow colleagues she stopped off at a nearby bakery that had just opened for the early morning rush, picking up a variation of croissants, pastries and donuts.

Ashley hadn’t felt intimidated by the Capital FM offices since the day she started the internship, she hurried through, most desks were empty as the majority of people didn’t start work until what was deemed a more ‘sociable’ hour of the day. “Morning Ash, how are you feeling?” Roman greeted her as she entered the office kitchen, placing the box of pastries on the side, and continuing to make herself a cup of tea.

“Nervous, but in a good way I guess,” Ashley told him, taking a bite on a pain au chocolat.

“You’re going to be great, I’ll make sure to ease you into it, I’ll introduce you and you can talk as and when you feel comfortable, there’s no pressure, I promise.” Roman assured her, picking a croissant from the box, “The big bosses have also said can we call you Ash when we are on air? Something about coming across as more relatable.”

“Sure, everyone I’m close to calls me that anyway, I mean you’ve called me that ever since I have worked here.”

“That’s great, you have about fifteen minutes to sort yourself out before we go live,” He explained.

“Alright Ro, cheers,”

“Good morning, you are listening to the Capital Breakfast show on a wonderful, yet slightly murky Monday morning, with me Roman Kemp, and for the first time, my new co-host Ash Hanson.” Roman chimed, resulting in cheers and woops from the producers and tech team who were present in the studio, “Ash, I’ll let you introduce yourself.”

“I’m Ash. I've worked at capital for about a year now. I'm originally from the North of England, and most people probably know me for being good friends with a curly haired member of a little British boy band, who you might have heard of.” Somehow talking about Harry and the band made her nerves disappear.

“So Ash, can I assume that with you being so close to the One Direction boys, you have a few stories that would make the lives of me and my fellow One Direction fans a lot better?” Roman asked her.

“I won’t lie I’ve seen a lot, particularly at the after parties, but they are all sound lads, there’s some stuff I probably can’t tell you on air, because frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one of them is listening.” Ashley told him.

“And obviously we’ve heard a bit of solo stuff from Zayn, Louis and Niall, if you had to pick one of the boys based on their solo music who would you choose?” Roman asked.

“That is a tough one, I think based on what we’ve heard so far, I’d have to say Niall.”

“Well on that One Direction related note, here’s This Town, on Capital Breakfast.” Roman said, before flicking a switch that meant their voices were no longer heard on air.

“Was that alright?” Ashley asked, taking a quick swig of her water.

“You’re doing great, you’ve got the knack of it already.”

“Taxi for Miss Hanson.” Ashley looked up as she exited Capital, seeing an all too familiar Audi parked outside, Harry stood leant against it, wearing a black trench coat over a grey hoodie and black skinny jeans, with a pair of sunglasses on top of his head to push back his messy hair.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, approaching her best friend.

“Can’t I pick up my best friend after her first day of her new job?” He asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

“It’s lovely of you to come down here, I just wasn’t expecting it, that's all.”

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“I mean I guess I wouldn’t say no.”

“Good, because you need to line your stomach.” Harry explained, as the pair of them climbed into his car.

“Why’s that?” she asked.

“We��re going out tonight.”

“There are two major factors that go against that Styles,” She told him, “Firstly I have a six month old daughter who is far too young to be left home alone, secondly I have work first thing in the morning.”

“Firstly, Daisy is going to have a sleepover at Auntie Gemma’s house, Secondly, you can stay in my spare bedroom, I’ll drive you to work in the morning.”

“What am I going to wear? I’ve spent the last year in tracksuit bottoms.”

“Well after our brunch, we’re going to Oxford Street to get you a new outfit.” Harry explained, parking up outside The Ivy.

“What’s all this in aid of?” Ashley asked, leaning her head back against the headrest.

“You Ashley Hanson, need to get laid.” Harry smirked.

“When did you reach that conclusion?”

“Well you aren’t coming to America for my birthday, so I thought we’d celebrate early, and I could wingman you.”

“Why don’t we try and get you laid instead?” Ashley insisted.

“Oh darling, I do not need any help in that department.”

“I’m so happy for you Harry, but frankly I’m not at a point in my life where getting laid is something I want to do, Daisy is my main priority.”

“Can we at least go out for my birthday tonight? Pretty please?” Harry asked, looking at her and fluttering his eyelashes.

“Alright! But I want to go to a nice bar, not some mad club.”

“It’s a deal.”

“Are you sure about this Harry?” Ashley asked, looking herself up and down in the full length mirror in Harry’s bathroom.

“We’re going to have a great time.” Harry assured her from his bedroom, next door to the bathroom.

““You really think this looks okay?” Ashley asked, entering Harry's bedroom, she had gone for a black glittery bodycon dress paired with red heels.

“You look beautiful,” Harry told her, taken aback by his best friend who stood before him.

“I’m not sure about this dress, I’ve still got mum tum from when I was pregnant, and my boobs haven’t been the same since I started breastfeeding.” Ashley sighed, shrugging off the fact that Harry calling her beautiful made her stomach flutter.

“Love you wouldn’t even know you had given birth six months ago, and there is nothing wrong with your boobs,” Harry assured her.

“Have you been looking at my boobs Styles?” Ashley questioned, turning to look at her friend.

“Taxi’s here.” Harry replied, making a quick exit downstairs.

As promised Harry took Ashley to a swanky North London bar, the sort that you could only get into if you were well known, and with Harry being Harry, that was easy. Ashley and Harry’s previous attempts at nights out hadn’t ever really ended well, there was the night out in LA when the paparazzi gave Ashley a hard time, and Harry had to effectively cover her, and there was Ashley’s 18th, which resulted in a fight between Ashley and a fan. “Why are we here Harry?” Ashley asked him, taking a sip of her pornstar martini.

“To celebrate my birthday obviously.” Harry replied.

“I mean you’re Harry Styles, you could take literally anyone for drinks, but you chose me, a single mum, who lives in a one bedroom flat in South London and most of the time has either baby sick or milk on my clothes.”

“I didn’t want to take literally anyone out, you’re my best friend, you always have been, you always will be, I find it hard to trust people Ash, I’ve been screwed over by so many people who want to be friends with Harry the celebrity, not Harry from Holmes Chapel who would rather spend the night in watching a cheesy romcom than go to some overly prestigious party, and I’ve never had to worry about that when it comes to you,” Harry explained.

It was almost midnight when they arrived back at Harry's, both of them feeling a little bit tipsy from the several cocktails they had consumed, “Ash, lets dance,” Harry took hold of his best friend’s hand, leading her into the kitchen.

“Harry, I have work in like six hours,” Ashley whined.

“Please, if it was my actual birthday we would be dancing together,” Harry begged, holding both of Ashley’s hands in his.

“Alright one song, then I’m going to bed.” Harry opened his phone shuffling his music, the first song that blared out of his surround sound was Still The One by Shania Twain, Harry took hold of Ashley, one hand on her waist whilst he used his free hand to hold her hand, the pair swayed along to the song, Ashley’s head resting against Harry’s chest, breathing in the smell of his aftershave mixed with the alcohol from the cocktails he had drunk. Ashley smiled up at her friend, his smile beamed back at her, edging his face closer to hers, their lips mere millimetres apart, she knew exactly what was about to happen, “No Harry, we don’t do that, you’re drunk.” She stepped back from his embrace.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine, I’ll see you in the morning,” she muttered before quickly exiting the kitchen.

“I meant it, I am sorry.”

“Good night Harry.”

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