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ruvatia · 3 years ago

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Sorry if this is a bit much with everything going on, but could I request a scenario where the Paladins + Matt & Lotor have a black s/o and they’re scared abt everything that’s happening in their country and are sad that racial injustice is happening? I’ve been rlly worried the past few days, but if this is smth too uncomfy I understand ;w; Thank you 💖💖💖

This got really long, I apologize but I turned it into half-headcanons with just the main paladins-- i apologize for not doing all the characters you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think they would fit all in a single post anyways www

On another note I hope you and every other reader take good care of their mental health; it’s important to be aware of what’s going on but it’s also important to be in the right mindspace to be able to tackle everything that’s being shared. It’s pain that’s been boiling for a very long time and there is absolutely no shame in taking some downtime to recover before heading back into current issues.

SHIRO:

If you were saddened, Shiro would suggest that maybe you switch to something else; if there was something that he knows will distract you and temporarily have you be a little more at ease, he’d do that!

But also maybe add a little twist-- extra soft blankets (fresh out of the oven! Screw the bills you’re worth it), extra cheese on your favorite dish, whatever it is that can make your smile a little wider, bigger or brighter just let him know!

Would give you hugs if you asked, but usually Shiro pets your head and brushes your cheek for comfort

He also does this when he wants to ask something of you, but thats another story

Why the TV was still on was a mystery to you, you’d stopped listening a long time ago. Your partner besides you noticed, and you felt the hand around your shoulder tighten his grip a little, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, maybe we should watch something else?” he asked softly, brushing your cheek with his hand. “I can’t really listen to this anymore.”

“Yeah… Sure.” you replied, though it felt like an automated response more than your actual opinion.

“Okay, I’ll switch to that weird show Pidge recorded the other day, we agreed to watch it, right?” he replied, quickly grabbing the remote to change the program.

The first episode started playing, but the moment that it did, you felt cold as Shiro left your side.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your interlaced fingers the only thing keeping him close.

“Ah, I thought I’d make us something. We both kinda skipped dinner….”

He’d thought about putting something together that you’d like, maybe order dessert to surprise you but seeing the look on your face, leaving your side was the hardest thing to do right now.

So he gave in, and your both fell asleep until the doorbell rang with your delivery.

KEITH:

I have this headcanon that Keith isn’t very good with physical touch but after the end of voltron and after enough time of humanitarian relief, he learns how important it is for someone that’s in a specific state of mind

So the best he has to offer when his words fail is physical touch

Over your time together he’s learned what you need depending on your mood, and it helped him out lots when you were more vocal about it-- if anything he liked it when you asked for things that he could easily deliver, he’d do anything to see you smile

A hand came over your phone screen, Keith’s fingers lacing into yours and making you drop the device onto the crevices of the sofa.

“Why did you--”

“You’ve been staring at that thing for the past hour, biting at your nails.” he said in a worried tone. “That’s enough. We’re going to bed.”

“But it’s just--”

“We’re going to bed.” he repeated in a harsher tone, lifting you off your seat.

Keith sat down onto the bed first, pulling you into him. You both fell onto the bed, Keith quickly pulling the covers over your shoulders before his arms came around you.

“My alarm is my phone.”

“That’s nice, but we both know we have nothing to do tomorrow.” he replied right away, making you chuckle.

“Keith…” you called, your hands sneaking up to his face.

You brushed away some of his hair from his face as he gave you a complicated expression, unable to reflect the small smile you wore. He knew things were shit outside, that being apart from your family and other loved ones was a toll on both you and that lately negative thoughts have plagued you more often than not but Keith, despite his good intention was still somewhat of an awkward man.

“Thank you.”

He kissed you in reply and you both left it at that, glad that he had someone like you to meet him halfway.

LANCE:

Lots of hugs the moment he feels something is off with you

Will be a brat™ for the sole purpose of distracting you, bET

I feel like post-series Lance tries his best to be as observant as Allura and tries to understand others better-- but it didn't take a genius or incredible empath to know why your eyes looked like they were about to overflow at the sight of the news.

I’d like to think that Lance, with a big connected family is one of the paladins that very easily gets what you’re going through, wouldn’t be surprised he’s been called one or two things in his past either

That being said it doesn’t mean that he completely understands your personalized struggles with racial injustices that you encounter everyday; as another minority himself + coming from a culture and upbringing that might be different than yours, its a very different experience.

Memories flooded as the news anchor spoke about “lootings” and as you scrolled down your feed to see feeble attempts at sympathy from local peacekeepers. You sigh and retweet another thread, only to find something equally as shocking right after. You stopped commenting in quote retweets a while ago, you felt like you were constantly repeating that none of this was okay and that a reform was desperately needed. Rather than typing out your thoughts you typed out your name, address and email over and over again, signing one petition after the other.

Hearing sigh after sigh, Lance eventually put an arm around your shoulder. He startled you, but his soft voice made both your shoulders and your guard lower.

“Hey, do you want to make a midnight snack with me? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“What about that new rule we were talking about? Not eating 4 hours before we went to bed?”

“Every diet has one or two cheat days, don’t they?” he replied, kissing one of your eyelids. “Come on, I’m sure your neck is sore from being like that for so long.”

In the end you both made some soul-food until a food-coma knocked you out until tomorrow. In the morning, you realized that Lance must’ve woken up in the middle of the night because you remember cuddling on the couch, and yet you’re waking up on the bed. Of course, still in his arms.

HUNK:

Having a sensible heart, I feel like both you and hunk would struggle a little about maintaining a healthy distance with current events.

Though overtime he would understand that keeping in touch with everything that’s going on is important, but not at the sake of burning out

His best bet, to him, to pull you out of a such a dark space is with comfort food

“Ok ppl feel like they want to eat a horse but they actually cant when they’re in that mind space Hunk, let’s make something sweet and small; something direct and straight to the point! Let’s add smiley faces on it!”

Your turned down the volume from the news, let your head fall backwards and brought up your forearm over your closed eyes. It felt warm and made it you realize that you had probably been staring very intensely at the screen as a wave of comfort hit your eyes the moment they were drowned in darkness. Letting out a deep breath, you stilled and let yourself bask in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back.

“Maybe a little bit more sugar? No, then it would be disbalanced. The base is already so sweet-- Ah, I have to take the cupcakes out or else they might get burned!”

You felt a smile grow on your lips, making you ignore the horrid news being broadcasted to turn to your partner that as usual, seemed to juggle ten thousand things to create a whole meal.

“What’s going on over here?” you asked, leaning over the counter to note that one of your favorite dishes was made and machines that were mostly used for baking had been brought out.

“Oh you know, just a little pick me up for my most favorite person ever.” he shrugged, but a smile soon came to his face. His hands were full but he leaned over, his lips meeting your cheek. “Things outside are a little dark, so I thought we could both use a little something nice.”

He turned on the machine after dropping a drop of dye to make it your favorite color and within a few minutes the icing was finished. Hunk scooped up a small amount on his finger and brought it to his lips and nod.

“Wanna taste?” he asked you, his finger dipping into the icing.

A mischievous grin spread on your features as you took his wrist and let his finger fall on your tongue, the sweetness quickly spreading through your mouth. The yellow paladin shivered as you let his digit hang in your mouth for longer than necessary, letting out a satisfied hum when you returned it to him.

“Tastes perfect.”

PIDGE:

She knew what could be fixed, she knew how to fix it but this meant she was also aware of how long such a transition would take

I think Pidge would be similar to Shiro: whatever she remembers that helps you be at ease, she would defect to that in hopes to maybe distract you for a while.

I don’t think Pidge is a very touchy person either, so if she reaches out to you _physically_ in worry, it’s a very clear sign she’s serious/anxious

I feel like she would reach out in other ways and then if she knew you were in a specific state of mind where touch was not useful, or if she just also wanted to try things out lol

As you watched the twisted information that was being shared on screen, another message caught your attention. Rather than a small red icon in the corner, a small window appeared in the middle of your computer screen.

The video had stopped, every horrible gif about police brutality was paused and there was nothing else but the small window pidge had thrown onto your screen. You chuckled, and felt a pressure behind your working chair.

Another message popped up.

<You’ve been catching up with twitter for the past two hours. Surely you’re done now?>

A soft laugh came from you, making Pidge release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. You typed out an answer:

<Okay, but half of them are just cat videos and the other half are just retweets of said videos.>

You both laughed, before Pidge turned around and tapped your shoulder. She let her hand float in the air, yours coming to join it as a soon as your turned her way.

“Wanna take a nap?” she asked, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I had Chip make some hot chocolate, Hunk style.”

You squeezed her hand, putting your computer on sleep mode.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

#voltron writings #shiro x reader #takashi shirogane x reader #keith x reader #keith kogane x reader #lance x reader #lance mcclain x reader #hunk x reader #hunk garett x reader #pidge x reader #katie holt x reader #for context this was requested around june 2020 #its a year late and thata my fault wjdjan

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dianapana · 3 years ago

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SH Day 2: Fashion Statement

Modern AU, OOC

@sasuhinamonth

Bullies exist everywhere you look, in school, at work, on the street and most of all, on the internet. Countless bullies hide behind the anonymity the internet provides them in order to bring down strangers for no apparent reason. But there is always a reason, jealousy, an inferiority complex, a superiority complex, or plain and simple the bully is a pile of trash and no one should call it a human being. One of the worst things one can do when being active on social media is read the comments, because no matter how many positive comments there are, one bad comment outweighs them all. Scrolling through my Instagram I see the perfect example of this issue. Hinata is barely an acquaintance, I have not seen her since middle school almost a decade ago, she’s not active on any social media, or at least she wasn’t until today. The picture in front of me brings back all of my past thoughts of her, how pretty her face looked, how refreshing and pleasant her lower voice tone was; out of most people I was aware of at the time, she was one of the least annoying. The only thing that bothered me at times was her meek demeanour, how easy she’s fold under the pressure of bullies; and it would appear that she had not changed in that particular category.

The picture was there, I liked it, I looked through the comments, I saw all the negative ones, I saw them misgendering her due to her short hair and baggy clothes, I saw them calling her names; and then there was nothing, because the picture no longer existed. Much like in school, the bully applied pressure on her, and she caved in on herself and chose to hide.

I wish I had taken a screenshot of the picture to post myself, but that would have been an invasion of privacy. She looked older and more mature, her hair was much shorter than in middle school, almost a buzz cut. She had always worn baggy clothes, but her style developed to streetwear, all in all, the picture was, in my opinion, a work of art. But as soon as it appeared, it disappeared. I can’t explain why it bothers me this much the fact that she took it down, but it just does.

I hate all the entitled fucks that think people own them anything. Females do not own them femininity, males don’t own them masculinity and gender non-conforming people don’t own them an androgynous appearance. Gender and fashion style are different issues, they can reflect each other or not. People use clothes for various reasons, as art, as means of expression, or they use them to hide. We talked about this during one of my courses in gender studies in university and it fucked with my brain how many people, young people that are supposably ‘woke’ heard that for the first time. I was shocked how many were unaware of things that I consider common sense.

I have the urge to reach out, assure her that the shit those incompetent fucks commented is the furthest thing from fact. Maybe I also feel guilt, because I was aware she was bullied in school and never helped, my apathy always made me so sure that it had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t my issue to fix, it wasn’t my battle to fight, and this isn’t either; but I’ve also learned to understand that being quiet might not be as hurtful as actively attacking the person, but it’s damn near close enough. So, I click on her blank profile and shoot her a short message. ‘the pic looked nice. U didn’t have to delete it just cuz some ppl don’t know what style is’

It was partly to comfort her, and partly to prove to myself that I’ve become better even in the slightest. I press the lock button on my phone and the screen turns black, I put it screen down on my bed and leave the room trying to fool myself and the universe that I don’t care if she replies or not.

I return to my work desk, continuing this charade, I am actively trying to not think about it, but the more I try not to think about it, the more I think about it. There is something about a 24-year-old Hinata looking the way she does, yet listening to haters, that just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m still in deep thought about the issue when my laptop dings, letting me know I received an email. I half expect it to be Hinata, but it’s work-related and my focus turns to that for the time being. Work keeps me busy for the remaining of the day, enough to push the whole issue out of my mind for real. In a blink of an eye over 9 hours have passed.

I wasn’t able to fully finish everything I wanted, due to some issues but I have to call it a day, since I worked overtime quite a lot. I go back to my bedroom and pick up my phone ready to order some delivery for the night when I see that Hinata responded.

“That was very thoughtful of you, thank you for the kind message.”

“I agree that I shouldn’t let myself be brought down, but it’s devastating in the moment.”

“I’ll try again.”

Her last message makes me click back on her profile to see that she reposted the picture with the caption saying ‘fuck you’. A sense of pride flows into my body, and I can’t fight the urge to comment as well, ‘fuck them all’. I go back to our little chat.

“Im glad u decided to post it again.”

I’m trying to formulate a compliment that doesn’t sound weird, I don’t feel like we are close enough for me to call her beautiful or pretty without it sounding like I am flirting, stunning sounds extreme, sexy and hot feel somewhat disgusting; yet all these five adjectives describe her, because she is beautiful, pretty, stunning, hot and sexy. I’m in the midst of this internal battle when I receive a reply.

“I am too. Thank you again”

I don’t feel like I deserve thanks, so I decide not to write back ‘you are welcome’, but I still want to compliment her so I click back to look at the picture, seeing whether having the picture in front of me will help. I’m lowkey annoyed when I get a notification that I have a new message from her, I am hell bound on finding a compliment and she is hell bound on stopping me. Either way, I click on the message, but upon reading it, my annoyance dies.

“I’m actually in Konoha for the first time in forever. I was thinking…if you maybe want to meet up? I’m here for a month, let me know if and when is a good time for you 😊”

Under normal circumstances, an invitation to ‘hang out’ from any former classmate be it elementary, middle or high school would annoy me further and I’d turn it down immediately. But for some reason, the idea of meeting Hinata after so many years, seeing what she is up to, interacting with her now as adults, makes me oddly enthusiastic. I reply before I can overthink the issue.

“Sure, we can meet, I’m free every Wednesday and throughout the weekend.”

Her reply is almost instant. “That’s perfect! See you Saturday” Reading her message makes me forget what day it is, so I have to look at my phone’s calendar; Saturday is the day after tomorrow, in less than 48hs I will see Hinata. My feelings are conflicted, they lay somewhere between nervousness, which is new, and giddiness, which is even newer. In order to calm myself, I do what I always do, set a goal. By Saturday I’ll have an appropriate compliment for the picture and her, it will have more impact if I say it face-to-face anyway, yes that’s the reason I want to see her, so I can feel as if I completed this little mission of mine, no other reason…

#sasuhinamonth #shmonth #sasuhina month #sasuhina #sasuhinafanfic #hinata hyuuga #hyuuga #susake uchiha #uchiha #dia story #diawrites #fanfic #day2

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invincible-selfxmade-punk · 3 years ago

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I finished my second Joan Didion book today and am 30 pages into a 400-page Paul Theroux novel about Mexico. I have tomorrow to go so I'm hoping to finish that before school starts and then that will leave the audible Mystery Collection that I have been listening to but have not liked it as much as what I thought I would.

I'm probably going to choose a Wally Lamb book next.

On Vice there is a marathon still going on on Dark Side of the ring and I thought enough time had passed that I could sit and watch the Benoit episode. I got as far as Eddie's death and I just couldn't take it. I was crying as hard as the ppl on screen.

I had to change the channel I don't think I'm ever going to actually be able to watch that again and I marvel that I was able to get through it the first time.

Hubby took my car to put gas in it so I'm kind of stuck here at the house which I wouldn't have been going anywhere anyway but just knowing that I don't have a car kind of makes me want to go somewhere.

I was alerted that we got in the Cameo for the Sinister Minister and I am doing my best not to look at it until hubby gets home and we can watch it together. Hubby was able to guess at Sinister Minister because I told him I had got him one person who was not a wrestler but was a manager that he really liked and of course that was the first person that came to mind for him so I was glad I hit the nail on the head with that one. There is one left to go, I told him his only clue was it was someone that he liked more than Sandman but wasn't one of the big names. He has yet to guess that it is the Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels so I really excited for that one but I am so so excited for the Sinister Minister especially since the Sandman one was so amazing in fact I think from now on if I've ever sad I just can't turn on that can be able to watch it again because that was the funnest experience and that was the best 30 or 40 bucks that I've ever spent in my whole life.

Speaking of money, I sat down and thought about it and I think this year I probably gave about $1,200 to charity and for that I'm very proud of myself. However at least $300 of that went to Deuce. I hope it helped him out and hope to God it had to go for drugs. I sent him a message last night to tell him happy New Years and of course he responded by asking for money. *sigh*

Monday I will ease back into work with an in-service day and then it's all hands on deck and back to basically running the social studies Department stopped itself and will be doing so until the end of the school year

But I do have really good support and I would rather do it on my own then the hell of spending the first part of the Year trying to depend on someone who really had no business ever becoming a teacher and was just out of her depth for the first day but refuse to admit it and just continue to BS her way through everything it's doing a huge disservice to her students and to her colleagues.

I know I am blessed to have this time off and I feel for those who don't and continue to work through the holidays as I did this for the first 45 years of my life.

So if you are not spending today in Leisure as I am I hope that it was a good day somehow for you anyway. I hope the world treats us a little bit more kind this year.

#cameo #pro wrestling #books #bookblr #dideon #theroux #charity #teaching #adulthood #Deuce #life the universe and everything #reading #best wishes #kove to mutuals

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akinokisetsu · 5 years ago

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Han Seungwoo as your boyfriend ✿

pairing- Han Seungwoo x Reader

category- fluff at first, smutty content in the end.

warning- smut under cut. 18+ only!

Seungwoo naturally oozes warm aura, honestly

someone you can trust fully, someone who will hear you out any time

someone unbelievably reliable and mature

that is how you got attracted to him in the first place

he was different from everyone else and it didn’t take you long to realize that at all

you were the one who fell for him first

so at first, you approached Seungwoo as far as your comfort zone went

your relationship at first was really good friends

he enjoyed having conversations and spending time with you

you two warmed up to each other quite quickly

even if you fell for him first, you almost never flirted with him

lowkey scared of his reaction if you did

a lot of comfortable silence together whenever you two meet

maybe you two both having library dates

or you spending a lot of time in his studio

enjoys each other’s company a lot no matter what you are doing, tbh

Seungwoo is quite aware of himself and his emotions

which means, he probably realized right away when he started liking you more than a friend

it was kind of a surprise to him

regardless, he isn’t the type to stress over it much

instead will observe you much more than he did before

wants to carefully see if his feelings are shared

he is an incredibly observant man

in other words, this boy immediately realized his feelings were shared

even when he realized that, he won’t rush the relationship at all

is a firm believer of letting things go naturally/by the flow

however from your perspective

you deadass had no idea if he liked or detested you

okay, it was obvious he enjoyed being with you but to what extent?

panic panic and more panic

“maybe... you should try asking him out on an actual date?”

you confided your secret in your best friend Wooseok, who fortunately kept it a secret

90% of the conversations you shared was about Seungwoo

surprisingly, Wooseok didn’t mind much

“he will just assume it’s one of our friend dates... ah, what do i do now?”

even Wooseok had no idea what you should be doing

literally nobody will realize you two had a thing for each other

because literally seungwoo was the only one aware of both side’s feelings

when he feels like he had his fair share of fun, he will properly ask you out

will probably confess after setting the mood just right

i’m not saying he is a perfectionist- never mind, that is exactly what i’m saying

can and will carefully plan the entire scenario in his head

wanted it to be something you will remember, but not anything too flashy

so he decided to ask you out after another one of your friend dates

after he walked you home, he purposefully kept making small talk in front of your house to give you hint he had something planned

which you didn’t really pick up tbh

your heart almost leaped out of your chest when he softly covered your hands with his large, warm ones

wordlessly, he laces your fingers with his

his eyes never leave your face while doing so

wants to remember each and every expression you show

which is absolutely adorable when your whole face slowly go red

your eyes staring at your feet, refusing to meet his

but he knew your true feelings from the way your hands softly squeeze his back

a heartwarming smile appears on his face

“(Y/n)... look at me.”

his deep voice sent shivers down your spine

hesitantly, your eyes met his

“i love you. i have for quite a while.”

you struggled to maintain eye contact at his confident declaration

happiness overflowing, that night ended with unforgettable feelings

honestly, even after you two got together, not everyone noticed right away

isn’t one for that much skinship

however, he loves holding your hand or have his hand around your waist

anything more than that, he is mildly uncomfortable with

being the kind of traditionalist he is, he wants to save all the affection when you two are alone

Seungwoo is dad of 10 kids

first one to know you two were dating was obviously Wooseok

but he didn’t tell anyone, just assumed they knew already

next one to realize was Minhee after seeing you two hold hands

who told Dongpyo

who blurted out to Yohan and Seungyeon

no way any secret will stay one after those two hear it

within one hour, all 10 kids realized the new couple

“HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME?” - literally everyone’s reaction at the news

Dongpyo seemed most upset that Seungwoo didn’t tell them

pouty.kids™️

dating Seungwoo pretty much means you adopted those 10 kids with him, so good luck new mom, you will need it

teasing, teasing, endless teasing

which you will get used to quite quickly

but honestly, they won’t tease their leader that much as they would with other members

moving on

Seungwoo won’t have you waiting for that long to kiss you

your first kiss was just str8 outta romance novel

quite obviously, he initiated it first

will kiss you while you two are staring at the beautiful sunset in twilight skies just for the aesthetic and memory of it

once again, you were oblivious to his intentions

but then again, the mood was set just right anyways

with you leaning on his shoulder, fingers entwined while staring at the beautiful scenery unfold before you

“(Y/n).”

“hmm?”

as he suddenly called your name, you lifted your head and stared into his beautiful eyes

he won’t really ask for permission tbh

you got the message when he started leaning in slowly

as your lips brushed softly against each other, you could have sworn you felt fireworks ignite

softest and sweetest kiss ever uwu

however, that was only the first kiss ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

trust me when i say you two share a lot of different types of kisses

depending on the mood, he can make you feel like the most loved person on earth

or leave you all hot and bothered, wanting more

on the more serious side

Seungwoo is the type to bottle up his burden and problems so as not to bother anyone

so please, please talk with this angel from heart to heart

he has a hard time opening up about things like that but he really needs to

he needs someone to break down his walls and will hear him out

likes pet names to certain extent

loves calling you “love” “darling” or “baby”

your relationship will literally be that type where ppl are like “wait wtf they aren’t married?”

that’s how comfortable you are with each other

but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a crackhead because he sURE IS

you two could either be up at 3 am talking about the meaning of life

...or talking about how to go to platform 9 and 3/4 and invade Hogwarts

there is no in between

honestly, Seungwoo is just so complex and interesting person so he will surely never ever bore you

most importantly!!

Han Seungwoo does NOT date just for the fun of it

he genuinely sees himself marrying you if he’s dating you in the first place

all in all, he is such a wholesome boyfriend and person in general

he deserves all the world, please give it to him because he will sure dedicate everything he has to you ✿

NSFW CONTENT UNDER CUT

sex and making out with Seungwoo is always passionate and really heated

to him, sex is a way of showing how much he loves you with his body

that’s why he takes it really seriously

every touch, every sensation will have you grasping the sheets tightly until your knuckles turn white

he is a very observant man, he won’t take long to notice what you love and where your sweet spots are

making love with Seungwoo is almost overwhelming in a deliciously addicting way

he absolutely adores every inch of you and will show that with his actions

Seungwoo will make sure to take care of you in every way

anything you want in bed, he will do it

his personal favorite is eating you out

the jerking of your hips when his tongue flicks your clitoris

god, that is so sexy

he will have you squirming and moaning mess in minutes

Seungwoo’s eyes will never leave your face while he is eating you out

the expression of pure ecstasy alongside your sweet voice?

he could cum in his pants right then and there

will happily give you oral every time you two make love

rarely teases, simply because he wants you to feel good

absolutely in love with your moans and will want you to be as loud as you want

is plenty good in bed to make your mind go blank and moans spill out uncontrollably anyways

he is the type to forget his own pleasure instead to please you

prefers to give than receive

although the sight of you on your knees will have him hard in no time

when he wants you, it’s painfully obvious just from the change in his gaze

this man can have you begging on your knees just with his intense stare

his eyes are just so sexy, like holy hell

is teasing only to show you he wants you

knows how much you love his tattoos and uses it for his advantage

wears V necks when he wants to seduce you

which works almost too well tbh who wouldn’t wanna fuck him when he wears that-

quickie is almost a foreign concept to him

sex is not something to be rushed, he will take it very slow and sensual

king of self control, it’s crazy how well he keeps himself under control

unless it’s a jealous/mad sex ;)

Seungwoo is a really composed man, so if you made him mad/jealous enough to take matters into the bedroom...

well, have fun walking tomorrow ;)

he can be extremely rough when he wants to be

will show you the best of both worlds tbh

a precious prince or beast in bed, you choose darling ;)

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szopenhauer · 4 years ago

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if you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? my (now ex) friend had a stray give birth on her yard and she gave away all the puppies besides the one she kept, I chose the most scared and fat one lol

what kind of cheese is your favorite, or no cheese at all? Gouda

do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? love it <3

have you seen any of the old james bond movies? I hate James Bond movies, tried few and they were so lame

have you ever been in a hot air balloon? and if not, would you ever want to go in one? I’d like to try, maybe someday

do your parents buy you something on a daily basis? food

is anyone else in the room with you right now? not rn

do you collect anything? shitload of stuff

do you have a pool in your back yard? no and don’t want to own one

do you watch youtube videos often? how often is often?

do you wear mascara? no, I don’t see the point of mascara tbh

do your parents fight? sigh...

have you ever watched a movie that’s in a completely different language, so you had to read sub-titles? plenty

do people with yellow teeth disgust you? mine are yellow, it’s hard to keep them well having GERD :(

do you wear rings? at times

would you like to have a universal remote, like in the movie, click? hmm...

do you get any magazines in the mail? my mom does

what was the last picture you uploaded to your facebook? snapchat one with peach filter

what’s something that you do that you know hurts people close to you? live?...

what was the last board game that you played? either Scrabble or Hollywood

do you get bloated at all after you eat? I have cascade stomach, GERD and IBS so...

when is your birthday - in winter, spring, summer, or fall? winter :(

you must pick (no, “neither” bullshit please): dying by being run over by a train or being thrown from the top of the eiffel tower? tower

who’s the most overrated celebrity of them all (yes, i know they’re all overrated - but pick one)? Beyonce

what do you wear the most - sneakers, flats, heels, boots, or do you just go barefoot? slippers XD

what’s better - short sleeve tops or tanks? short sleeve

black, blue, or red ink? blue

do you sometimes splurge on expensive, sexy lingerie? my most expensive lingerie (which is sporty) costed less than 20 PLN

what’s your favorite food group? grains?

don’t you just love sushi? never tried and don’t wanna, gross

if you walked in on your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/important significant other cheating on you - how would you react? I have several scenarios in my head

how old were you when you lost your virginity? what even is virginity? you can have sex without losing it anyway

what annoys you the most about modern technology? hard to tell

do you prefer your chicks with long hair, short hair, or somewhere in between? I always went for girls with no longer than shoulder length yet not shorter than mine but now I date someone with very long hair

do you turn around when someone yells “hey!!!” even if you’re not sure if they’re referring to you or someone else? might

have you ever had that oh-so-embarrassing moment when you think some hot guy/girl is waving at you and/or flirting with you, so you wave back, only to realize they were directing it at the person behind you? they weren’t hot

who was the last person to come back into your life? my gf

is there anyone at your house outside of your family? in the garden

who was the last person you had a conversation with in person? my dad

what was the last piece of jewelry that you purchased? for myself or someone else?

how old are each of your siblings? 30+

how many different conversations do you have going right now? 0

do you think it’s weird to wear socks to sleep? it’s not, unless you sleep naked

have you ever gone swimming in a lake? yup

do you usually buy a new bathing suit every summer? I didn’t buy any swimsuit for ages, don’t own even one

what sucks most about the computer you end up using the most? what doesn’t suck about it, ugh!

what’s something you want to say to someone at the moment? I’m not sure

will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks? I won’t

has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you? nah

do you like when people call you things like “baby”, “sweetie”, “hun”, etc? certain pet names are fine

will this friday be a good one? it’s not...

what’s wrong with you right now? everything?

have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately? angry and sad

are you wasting your time on someone? hope not

when’s the last time you cried yourself to sleep? days ago

have you ever been in a perfect relationship? relationships aren’t perfect because no one is perfect and that’s ok

when was the last time you completely broke down? last week

honestly, have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with j? nope

are you nice to the people you dislike? if I have to, I prefer to avoid them

are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship? we are

your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say? no comment

would you rather date someone who is extremely protective or not protective at all? why do we have to choose extremes?

does sex mean love? to me

have you ever fallen asleep on someone? as a baby

have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? more than once

plans for tomorrow? nothing have you ever ridden a skateboard? tried the main thing you can’t leave your house without? clothes, I won’t leave naked does anyone know your password besides you? just me what are you listening to? Melanie Martinez when was the last time you changed in front of someone? this month what’s the closest black thing to you? what I’m wearing, computer mouse and keyboard too, my cellphone next to me is also black what were you doing at 8:00 am? fallen asleep again are you happier single or in a relationship? we’ll see if you had to get a piercing, what do you get? normal earrings in lobes you can get a puppy or a new car. which do you choose? car, I have a dog and don’t want another at least soon have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? my father is my bestie did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? it seems like it have you ever been arrested? noooo

what is a difference between the last two people you hugged? one is a female and one is a male where is the next place you will go? for a walk - forest probably why did you kiss the last person you kissed? we’re dating

do you say sexy a lot? I don’t recall using that word when did you last throw up? years ago? do you like to have long hair or short hair? short what is your favorite place you have traveled? Ełk? where do you keep your money? that’s personal what was the weather like today? warm do you want to cut your hair? meh what is your favorite place to shop? thrift? are you over the age of 25? I am are you going to have a good night? hopefully when was the last time you did the dishes? I just washed the knife

do you and your friends trade/borrow clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc.? no way

is your birthday ever on a holiday? which one? it was always on free from school time (ferie zimowe) and my friends been basically always sick so they couldn’t come

are you friends with your neighbors? I say “goodmorning” to part of them and that’s all

do you think its weird when people talk to their pets like they’re people? not that I have whole conversations with mine but I happen to speak to them when I want to

do you like uggs? they’re great for winter slippers :3

describe what you typically wear on a hot summer day: T-shirt, sweatpants/leggings/pajama pants, panties/undies, socks, slippers or slip on shoes

what about a cold winter day? underwear, tights (when it’s very cold - under leggings), leggings (unless I’m home then sweatpants/pajama pants), socks, boots (if not slippers of course), long sleeves shirt, tunic or oversized t-shirt, sweater, vest, jacket, scarf, hat, fingerless gloves

do you like coffee? ewww, disgusting

do you like flip flops? same

do you like rain? especially it’s sound at night

do you like horses? they’re fine

what is the deepest pool you have jumped into? where? I don’t jump into pools or lakes/rivers

does it annoy you when people open your mail or text messages? people don’t do that :o

what magazine do you buy the new issue of each month? Moje mieszkanie

what is your favorite farm animal? chicken

have you ever driven a golf cart? I’m against golf so...

if a genie gave you 1 wish, what would it be? health, for all, forever

what is something that you shouldn’t like but do anyways? ask God

is there something you love dearly but knew you’d be made fun of for it? I guess

who is someone you always want to be happy, even if you aren’t happy alongside them? those close to me

does it take you a long time to get over someone you liked? it’s complicated

have you ever gone a week or more not thinking of your boyfriend/girlfriend that much? does it sadden you, or make you happy you don’t completely depend on a person? I didn’t go whole week without thinking about them at least once wtf

is there someone who ruined your life? do you forgive this person? most of those ppl didn’t apologise, most of them don’t know or care, most of them are not part of my life

have you ever questioned your sexuality? when was this? how did it end? I thought I must call myself bi because I dated a guy even tho I wasn’t really into them but I realized that even having sex doesn’t mean I’m not asexual - trying things make you more sure of smth instead of changing who you are

have you ever felt suicidal? constantly

do you know anyone who has had a miscarriage? or someone who can’t have kids at all? both are more common than you think

what is something you wish would have ended differently (ex. friendship or relationship)? what if I wanted some things to never end? does that count?

type the alphabet and stop at the letter of the last person you kissed: ABCDEFGHIJKLM eventually ABCDEFG (short version of the first name) eventually ABCD (surname) how was your day overall? it’s going so fast because I can’t sit down for long, parents call me every single minute to help them have you kissed someone more than 20 times? I didn’t count but who knows

if you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? won’t tell you :P how often do you hold back what you want to say? sigh, it’s complicated it’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? my gf ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? not many times but still how do you know the last male you texted? he’s my parent do you think the last person you kissed cares for you? they say and try to show that they do do you laugh a lot? as for such broken person it’s A LOT are you good at giving directions? I’m pretty bad at that what does your mom call you? by one of the versions of my name duh are you afraid of roller coasters? I’m afraid I’d puke where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or everywhere? in front of the computer and when I’m home alone which happens very rarely are you wearing any make up right now? I don’t even own any makeup are you nice to everyone? pfft is it hard for you to be happy for someone else? oh well...

do you like bread crust or do you prefer it cut off? depends, usually eat it tho

what is the worst/hardest drug you’ve been offered, but declined to partake in? nothing hard

do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant? I don’t want to think about it

is there a color shirt you’d never wear? tie dye or some tiny pattern that makes my head spin

is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? what I don’t regret?...

would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde? for a movie role

do you like the band mgmt? I know couple of songs by them

do you like vanilla candles? I’m not into candles

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horansqueen · 6 years ago

Text

BabyGirl 1.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts ♥ 3.7k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ i would be SO SO SO happy to get feedback for this. please? ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate. ♥ read part 2 HERE

1.0 ♥ LIES & TIES ♥

HIM

The first time I met her, I noticed her. It was in the way she laughed, I think. That's what drew me to her first. Then, I noticed how clever and cheeky she was, but also how kind and generous she turned out to be. When I brought her outside to take her away from all the noise and music, it hit me how perfect her face looked through the moonlight, and how bad I wanted to kiss her. I made sure she was not panicking, and when our eyes met, I felt my heart twist. Maybe it was from all the beer I had swallowed, but I could swear it was from the way she actually looked at me: Intensely, like she was looking for answers of existential questions through my eyes.

I remember the way her cold hands on my cheeks made a shiver run through my back, and how her warm lips against mine made me want to take a cab and bring her home. I had never felt my heart beat harder than that, and I remember thinking that I finally knew what it meant to be in love.

We wanted to take things slow, but the problem was that we couldn't stay away from each other. The waiting and the time apart didn't excite us, it actually made us miserable. When we both admitted that to each other, and to ourselves, we decided to take things as they came. And they came fast. But I didnt even feel nauseous or scared of the quick pace. Rather, it made my heart swell with all the feelings I had for her.

That's why I was a bit annoyed when I came home one day and she started asking me all these questions about our future and what I expected from this relationship. I was in a bad mood, just a bunch of small inconveniences that poured on me through the day, and rehearsing had been a pain in the ass. I didn't want to fight, but I also didn't want to sit down and talk about this.

I wanted a shower, a good fuck, and to watch the golf channel. But there she was, with her impossible questions and her crazy suspicions. Did I want kids with her? Why would she even ask that, at that very moment? I couldn't lie, we had talked about it a few times, late at night, in the darkness of my bedroom, but it was different than almost pressuring me into it, as if she wanted to start a family with me in the next hours.

We fought, and after telling her I could find an other girl, she stormed out. I couldn't blame her. I knew she was self-conscious, for no real reason in my opinion, and I twisted the knife deeper in the wound. I regretted my words as soon as they escaped my lips but it was too late and somehow, I felt like she wanted to leave anyway.

It took me months to call her again, which was quite surprising, knowing how close we used to be, but after that fight, I started questioning my feelings and hers. Did we really love each other? Would we really last? What was I missing by being in a steady relationship with an older girl whom I barely saw since I was always on tour or working?

One night, after getting drunk with the boys, I spilled my heart out to her on text, and when I realized she wouldn't answer, I cried. I cried like a fucking baby who had lost his mom forever. I cried like I had lost the love of my life. I cried because I knew it was really over, and that if I had called her before, maybe she would still be in my life.

"Mate, stop, why are you even crying?"

I sniffed, sitting up in bed and turning to Louis, a sudden realization coming through me.

"You! You call her and talk to her for me! Louis, you do it!"

I was not sure those were the words I used, and I probably slurred them a bit more, but it's how it sounded to me. Louis looked at me, raising his nose up. He never liked to get into his friends' business and the fact that he knew both of us made it even worse.

"You're her best mate! Call her! Please!"

I was literally begging my bandmate, the guy who was like a brother to me, to call my girlfriend for me. The girl who wouldn't even answer my text messages.

"I'm not her best mate at all. We're just... friends." he shrugged. "And I ain't gonna play matchmaker for you two. You got into this together, then work it out."

I felt my eyes burn again from the tears and stared at him intensely. I couldn't believe he was being so harsh with me and he finally turned to look at me and rolled his eyes with a sigh.

"Okay you know what? You get a rest and we'll discuss it tomorrow." he let out, clearly annoyed. "If you still want me to talk to her, I'll fly back home and pay her a visit. Just because I also need to see my family, alright?"

When he came back from that trip, though, he didn't mention anything. I waited, and waited, but after the third show we had in a row, I confronted him. It took him forever to answer and he just closed his eyes with a sigh. There was something he didn't want to mention, and I suspected she already had a new boyfriend.

"Look, Niall..." he sighed for a second time. "Just know that she doesn't want you back, okay? She's moved on, so you should do the same."

I wanted to ask more, I wanted to find out why she didn't want to be around me anymore, and why her love for me left so fast, but I just watched Louis get up and leave. I got drunk again that night, but I didn't message her. I threw my phone in a trash bin as soon as I found one and never looked back.

Perhaps, we weren't meant to be. After all, I couldn't dwell on the past or expect anything more if she didn't want it too. It was useless, and I had to mend the pieces of my heart back together quickly. We only have one life to live and I was one of the luckiest persons in the world. That's what I had to focus on.

God, I didn't know I was in for a ride.

HER

I met Niall one day that had started like all the others, except maybe the fact that Louis, who also happened to be a close friend of mine, had insisted I was there for his birthday. It was a cold december night and soon, I had felt overwhelmed by all the people, the noise and the alcohol. It was Niall who talked to me first, asking me if I was okay, and making sure I was not panicking. It was Niall who brought me outside, talked me out of my paranoia and helped me breathe. It was Niall who bent down to meet my eyes, made my heart melt, made me fall in love with him. And when it started snowing, I felt like I was in some sort of romantic Christmas movie.

We took things slow, and then we took things fast. I was happy with him and even if he was super busy and barely home, we always found ways not to let our relationship die. There was one day though... One day when everything changed.

When he walked inside, I was waiting for him, but I didn't think my heart would jump so high. He wasn't smiling like he normally does, and I thought that perhaps, something bad had happened at rehearsal. It made me nervous. Nervous to the point of swallowing the lump in my throat every 15 seconds. Nervous to the point of being nauseous and have sweaty hands. Nervous to the point of feeling like my whole future was going to be decided in the next hour of my life. I tried to push the bad thoughts away but without much success. I knew by just looking at his face that it was a bad time to have a serious discussion. I knew it was going to turn wrong. Thinking about it again, I realized I probably unconsciously wanted to fight with him to make things easier for both of us. I didn't want to ruin his life, and that's really what I felt I was doing.

"Do you want kids?"

He stopped dead in his track as the door closed behind him and turned to me, his lips now parted Clearly, he had a bad day and wasn't in the mood for this, but here I was, asking him some random question about the future, as if we never talked about it before.

I was so often at his place that it felt like home, but for some odd reason, I kept my own apartment. He had asked me a few times to move in, which was quite surprising coming from him, but I always refused. I was dating a rich kid in a boyband, the chances of him finding someone prettier, thinner and just simply better was very high, and I wasn't even sure why he was interested in me. He would probably tell me I need to be more confident, but I was not sure it was really what it was about. I was definitely not the most confident person in the world, but being scared to lose someone like Niall was not really just a part of my imagination.

"I..." he stopped, his eyes roaming on my face, and i tried to remain motionless, sitting straight on his sofa.

I was trying to keep eye contact but it wasn't as easy as I thought. I wanted to analyze his every reaction, as if it would change anything from what was about to happen.

"I already told you I wanted them, but later, when i'll be, i don't know..." he explained, raising his shoulders, shaking his head. "In my thirties?"

I felt my heart twist in my chest and I swallowed my tears, glancing down before looking back up in his eyes. He stared at me, slightly annoyed, slightly impatient, and I licked my lips.

"And, do you want them... with me?"

This time, it's fear I could read on his face. He was young, famous and rich. I could understand that the thought of promising his girlfriend to have babies with her was something scary. I was scared too, more than he could ever think, but I was doing my best not to show it.

"We're young, you know." he just said with a shrug. "I don't know what the future holds for us."

I closed my eyes and breathed in and out slowly and deeply. I wanted to insist, I had to insist. Even if I knew there was a big chance it would turn into an argument.

"I know, but you still plan on it, right?" I added, getting up. "You love me, and you want to spend your life with me, don't you?"

His face twisted again. I was aware I was asking a twenty-year old boybander if he wanted to spend his life with me. I was not even sure if he actually loved me and from seeing the expression on his face, I could tell he wasn't sure either. I loved him, though. Deeply, truly, with my entire being, I was in love with him, but I didn't expect him to return the feeling. In fact, I didn't expect anything. I couldn't expect anything.

"Why exactly are we having this discussion again?" he asked with a sigh. "I'm not ready to start a family, and you're not either. I'm going on tour in a few weeks, and it's not like we can really plan it anytime soon."

I kept silent and swallowed, glancing down at his feet. He had taken his shoes off and for some odd reason, I was endeared by the way he let his foot rub gently against the carpet. I wanted to move closer to him, I wanted him to engulf me in one of his incredibly satisfying and comforting hugs, but that was not going to happen.

"Plan it?" I just asked in a whisper, not even sure he actually heard me.

"Come on, love, look at me."

I breathed in and finally moved my chin up, my eyes meeting his immediately. He seems confused and still annoyed, but he called me love, and it made my heart melt every single time.

"Why are we talking about this?" he just wondered with a shrug. "I've had a bad day and to be honest, i'm really not in the mood for this shit."

Something stirred inside me when he talked and I felt tears burn my eyes. I had to do something, or else, I was going to cry and tell him everything.

"Shit? Are you fucking serious now?"

My answer took him by surprise and he raised his eyebrows, taking a short step back. I swallowed again and shook my head, closing my eyes for a few seconds before opening them again.

"I'm older than you, Niall, and i've always wanted a family." I pointed out, trying to let anger take over and erase my sadness. "If you're not sure you want that, then there's no point in even keeping this up."

I grabbed my purse on the floor roughly and moved past him to reach the door. He quickly stopped me, blocking me with one of his arms, and I tried not to look at him, knowing too well It was the best way for me to crack.

"Woa, calm down ok! That's not what I said!"

"Okay but that's what I said." I answered, feeling my voice started to shake. "You don't want to discuss this seriously? Then I'm out."

Silence fell between us for a few seconds but he remained motionless.

"Now let me go."

Something clearly burst inside him because he moved his arm and suddenly got angrier than I've ever seen him.

"Yea? FINE THEN!" he swung both his arms exaggeratedly in the door's direction. "Just fucking leave! You think I'm gonna weep and cry? I can have ANYONE okay, ANYONE."

I deserved it. I deserved that outburst and I deserved his anger, but despite this fact, his words hurt me deeper than I could have imagined. He knew this was something that bothered me and made me insecure, and he used it against me. I felt myself tear up and turned to look at him. As soon as he saw my face, his expression changed into a guilty one and my eyes got smaller at the rage now invading my whole body and mind.

"Well good for you! You do that!" I expressed roughly, staring him. "You go get that fucking perfect girl and forget about me and all that we had! Who cares, right?"

I didn't want for his answer, I just rushed out. He could have ran after me but he didn't. I could have walked back in to tell him the truth but I didn't. I just drove home, sobbing the whole time of the ride, and walked into an empty apartment I hadn't seen in weeks. It was cold, sad, and most of all, it was Niall-less.

Out of pain, I threw my purse violently down, watching as its content scattered all over the wood floor. The only thing that actually reached my feet was a white stick. Watching it made me cry even more. I let myself fall on the cold floor and pressed my palms on my eyes. I didn't want all of this to happen. I didn't want to lose Niall. And thinking i'll never be close to him anymore makes me literally want to vomit. I pulled my hands away but I could barely see anything because of the tears. I reached for the stick and blinked a few times, trying to clear my eyes, and held my breath, looking at the pregnancy test I took only a few hours before.

Positive. The little plus sign seemed to get bigger and bigger as I stared at it, as if it was taunting me. I could almost hear it say "Hey, I just ruined your relationship! Now you're gonna have to raise that baby all alone!" But the truth was, I had ruined my own relationship. It was all me. I couldn't blame anyone else. The truth was, I knew it would ruin Niall's career, and I didn't want to lock him into a relationship and a situation he would feel miserable in. I didn't want to turn this talented and happy young man into a desperate and unhappy person, even if it would be despite myself.

That's why I never called him again, and that's why I didn't answer when he messaged me, a few months later. I knew he was on tour and I knew he sometimes got lonely in his hotel room, and it was definitely not a good reason to come back in his life. He was touring, he was happy, he was living his dream, and there was no way I was going to take that away from him. I would hate myself forever If i ever did that.

To my biggest surprise, it knocked on my door a few days after ignoring Niall's text messages, and I really didn't expect who was on the other side. I opened the door slowly, peeking out and my eyes got bigger when I saw Louis standing there. He looked tired but still amazing, and my lips curled at his sight. I didn't think twice and threw myself in his arms before he wrapped them around me. It only lasted a few seconds though and he quickly pulled away, his eyes falling on my growing stomach.

"Oh my... god."

I breathed in and my hand reached for my tummy, as if it could hide anything from my pregnancy.

"Is this... Is it...?"

"Louis, please come in, okay?"

I turned around and walked back inside, hearing him close the door behind us and I brought him to the nursery I had prepared. He stayed in the door frame, his eyes roaming on the pink walls, the stuffed animals, and the pure white drawers I had bought. It took him a whole minute to finally turn to me, his eyes dropping to my belly again.

"You have to tell Niall..."

"No!" I cut him straight and breathed in and out slowly. "And you can't tell him either."

"If it's his baby, he deserves to know..."

I raised my hand up, making him stop talking, and closed my eyes. I didn't expect Louis to be here, I didn't expect him to see me like this and discover my secret, but now that he had, I couldn't just let him leave and spill it all to Niall. I knew he would come back and try to work things out with me, and I couldn't let him ruin his tour and his life for me.

"Louis, you're my oldest friend." I argued, opening my eyes to meet his. "I've known you since I was a kid, and i'm begging you, in the name of our friendship, don't tell Niall. Please. He's happy, he's touring the world, he's doing what he likes... and I want that for him. I want him to keep doing that. I don't want to be the girl who forced him into a relationship and a family life."

Louis started at me for a while. He stared at me for so long that I thought he would never speak again. I tried to concentrate on my heart beating hard against my chest, hoping to get it back to a normal speed, but it's only when Louis nodded that a feeling of relief washed over me.

"Thank you."

He moved closer and stared at my belly again. I reached down and grabbed his hand, placing it on the side of it and when I felt the baby hit, my lips curled. His head raised up quickly and a surprised expression appeared on his face, making me chuckle.

"Fooking hell..."

This time, I laughed and he shook his head, leaving his hand on me.

"So this is real, you're gonna have Niall's baby."

My smile fell and his hand too. We looked up in each other's eyes with serious faces and I finally nodded.

"Most of all though, it's my baby." I explained. "And you need to promise me, Lou."

"What am I supposed to tell Niall? I told him i'd check on you and find out why you won't answer his messages."

I walked to the couch and sat on it. There was no real comfortable position and I gave up on trying to find one.

"He literally declared his love to me, you knew that? I mean, he's been ignoring me for months now. I can't be with someone who's there only when he wants to. I bet he was drunk and alone when he sent these texts?"

From Louis' expression, I knew I was right and I just shrugged.

"Just tell him I don't want anything to do with him anymore. He'll get over me, he'll find someone else. We both know it, right? He'll be happier this way."

Louis left and promised to call me from time to time. A few weeks later, I even received a large box full of goodies, from toys to diapers, and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be friends with someone like him. I wanted him to be the godfather but I knew how unfair it would be to ask him to lie even more to a guy he considered his brother, so I didn't.

I thought it was all over. I thought i'd never see Niall again. I thought I was over him. Boy, I've never been more wrong in my entire life.

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan writing #niall horan story #niall fluff #niall story #niall writing #my fanfics

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svtntntn · 6 years ago

Text

---habits--->

jock!seungcheol x classmate!you

this was something from a long, long time ago and now I'm getting around to finishing and posting it!!

this is a small bit that goes hand in hand with this scenario ( snippet )

so you live next to the school

yes, you live right next door to your high school

your backyard is right next to the school's football/track field

the only thing separating your backyard from the school's field is a grand black cast iron fence

there's some shrubbery and bushes along the fence and your parents planted some flowers and tall plants to cover it up, but the football field still visible

your balcony can overlook the entire football field if you're sitting at the right angle

which honestly is a blessing and a curse

bc you can watch the games and events from your bedroom window and balcony but when you need to study or want to sleep in early, there's cheers and horns blaring outside your house

but in your best friend somin's opinion, it's also the best place to watch the jocks work out and run laps

staking out the most athletic and toned bodies in your high school on your bedroom balcony with your best friend on a weekly basis?

it wasn't something you were completely crazy about bc

1) wouldn't it be considered stalking?

and 2) your homework wasn't going to complete itself

she'd come over unannounced and set up an entire camp on your balcony

you'd protest your balcony being used as a stake out point to stalk cute guys but she repays you by bringing you food

you don't really have an interest in any of the guys on the team except for a certain choi seungcheol

he's the school's heartthrob with his dashing good looks, his charming smile, his warm heart and natural leadership

he's been the star quarterback for your high school since his sophomore year which is a new record as the youngest starting quarterback in school history

so somin's always calling you over to the balcony and saying that seungcheol is running laps around the track or that he's doing drills on the field with his teammates hansol and mingyu

or that he's just sitting on the bench looking as handsome as one could be with a sweat-drenched shirt

she literally wants you to die from your crush on choi seungcheol

which makes you less responsive to when she says his name, "(y/n)! seungcheol’s on the field!"

you stay sitting at your desk, "is he just taking a water break? again?"

somin is quiet for a beat, "okay yes, but look!"

you don't look and turn back to your hw

and you continue to daydream about your crush bc in all actuality, you've never talked to him or introduced yourself to him so he technically doesn't even know you exist

one day you’re doing homework and somin’s on the balcony when she tackles you on the bed, "(y/n)," she says gravely, "choi seungcheol is outside your fence"

"whAt?"

you both peek out the balcony doors and this boy is standing on the other side of your backyard fence looking sheepishly nervous for some reason

but when you step out behind the doors, you spot a football in the middle of your yard, and then seungcheol spots you!

he does a giant wave at you with a beaming smile and motions over at the football

you wave back before turning away from the balcony and somin is literally pushing you down the stairs bc you’re paralyzed from the shock of seeing him

you walk outside trying to act all nonchalant and caught off guard like "oh, hi there!"

but you trip over the very thing you’re supposed to be returning to seungcheol

if that football was a person, you’d be murdering it 12 different ways and hiding it across the country where no one would find it

your cheeks burn red as you hear seungcheol chuckle to himself and ask if you’re okay

you nod slowly and toss him the ball over the fence and he catches it with a single hand

showoff

he jogs back to the field with the ball and you’re left feeling crazy embarrassed bc you just tripped over a stupid football in front of your crush like thIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

you suddenly hate football

somin tries to cheer you up with her never-ending optimism, "hey at least he knows your face and where you live now!"

"he saw me TRIP in my own backyard" you bury your face in your hands, "good thing he doesn’t even know my name"

days pass and you try to forget your terrible first impression, but you end up replaying the whole event in your head whenever you think of him

now your crush on choi seungcheol is tainted by this one terrible memory and you kinda hope he forgets about the whole thing

little do you know, he doesn't;)

and then fate interferes: you're paired with him for a project in your literature class

just a quick partner presentation and of course, you draw seungcheol’s name from the hat

"hi (y/n), right?" seungcheol find a seat next to you and slides into it, "choi seungcheol"

his handshake is very firm and strong and you can already feel your cheeks blushing from how handsomely handsome he is

but you ignore the butterflies in your stomach and get down to business and set up a whole outline and plan of action for the presentation

seungcheol attentively listens to you and gives his feedback, which is refreshing bc most ppl would just nod, sit back and let you do the bulk of the work

you two set up a time after school to work on the presentation and you hope he doesn't bring up the whole 'hey aren't you the girl who tripped over a football' thing and thank goodness he doesn’t

before you know it, class is over and done with but when you leave the classroom, seungcheol is calling your name and walking with you down the hallway, "hey (y/n), I was hoping if I could get your number? to message you about our study session! I might come late because of practice and I don't want to make you wait for me or anything"

"oh! uh sure, of course" you punch in your number on his phone and he grins

"I'll see you tonight" he winks as he turns into another hallway, meeting a chorus of "hey's" from his friends

it takes you a solid minute to realize that choi seungcheol asked for your phone number and he got it under the guise of a study session

and you didn't even think much of it in the moment

seungcheol does come late to your study session in the library, but it's alright, you spent the 15 minutes sitting alone wondering what even to say to him in terms of small talk

and when he gets to you, he’s apologizing to you profusely and you and him get your presentation done in under an hour, seeing as you're both smart and efficient students:)

the sun is setting outside when you both walk out together, "(y/n), let me drive you home, you're right next to the school anyways"

you brush over the fact that seungcheol remembers you live right next to the school, “no no! it's okay, I can walk home, I usually do”

seungcheol gives in, "okay… I'm walking with you though"

"you don't have to, really, it's such a short walk "

"I want to" and so, after a short stop to his car to drop off his football gear, he starts walking with you to your house

which makes your stomach flip and turn as seungcheol walks side by side with you

the awkward silence is replaced with seungcheol first breaking the ice and telling you some type of corny joke and making you laugh

you both get into a rhythm of talking about music and classes and friends when you get to your front door

seungcheol has this tiny little pout on his lips that he hides when you mention that you'd rather just sit and talk to him longer

"we have tomorrow to talk more! and we can text each other" he promises, holding up his phone, "I'll text you when I get home"

you're over the moon when you enter your house!! everything's just perfect!!

seungcheol does text you when he's home and you two end up staying up all night texting one another

this goes on and on and on for the next couple of days

it becomes less about your project and more about everyday things and trivial questions that you both know the answer to

seungcheol would text you before and after his football practice and you'd both stay up till the morning texting each other

during actual school tho, he'd spend time with you at your lunch table, walking with you in between classes and hanging out with you before his practice starts

if someone needs to find him, they’ll find you with him

you help seungcheol study for upcoming quizzes and exams in your respective classes in the school library

he ends up lending his letterman jacket to you when you two are studying in the library together;)

if you're up for it, which you usually are, seungcheol will take you out for dinner after his practice

like a gentleman, he always pays for you until you try to sneak money back into his pocket or his backpack

somin doesn't find out that you and seungcheol have been talking outside of class till she spots you with seungcheol at the burger place near the school

she waits for you at your house when she basically tackles you, "(y/n)!!! tell me everything!! who, what, when, where, why, how! wait I already know who—it's mr. choi seungcheol, your dream man"

his teammates always end up interrupting you two when you're walking around campus, joshua always introduces himself politely while jeonghan and chan are both like 'who are you?'

while mingyu and hansol are like 'oOOO, you're the girl who lives at that one house near the football field'

everytime he's sitting with you at your lunch table or when you two are walking down the hallway, both of your phones go off with text messages

bc somin's sending winky faces and heart emojis to you with seungcheol's name in it and seungcheol says it's just the team's groupchat asking about practice times and stuff for the friday's game

but they're all teasing seungcheol with heart eyes emojis and winky faces too;)))

so basically, now the whole team and somin know of seungcheol’s major crush on you and your crush on him

but bc of the upcoming competitive season, you begin to see seungcheol less and less, as he’s swamped with meetings and practice 24/7 that he only really sees you in class and around campus

one day, you're studying in your room again when you hear seungcheol's voice from outside your balcony

and there you see in your yard that same brown football that first irked the heck out of you just as seungcheol says, “sorry, mingyu keeps threw it over here by accident”

he's running his hand through his hair and even when he's a sweaty mess, he still looks super handsome damn it

you toss it over to him again, “it's fine, just as long you don't break anything over here”

“don't worry, I won't break your heart” seungcheol reassures you with a smirk, nodding at you as he walks backwards, “bye (y/n)!”

and again, the next day the football magically appears in your backyard again

"(y/n)!" seungcheol's standing right outside your fence, explaining how hansol kicked the football too far this time

you take the ball in your hands and throw it over the fence again, "I think this ball keeps appearing here more often than on the actual field, seungcheol"

"maybe the football just gravitates to here, just like how I do to you"

you start laughing at his dumb line,"oh my gosh"

"see you, (y/n)" he winks at you before jogging away again

this continues for so long and when you tell somin everything, she's suspicious

bc why would they kick the ball horizontally across the field rather than length-wise where the actual goal posts are?

you've never thought about it until she points it out to you, making you shrug but somin's still curious as to why the ball keeps appearing in your yard for no legitimate reason

so she does the obvious and camps out by your balcony for you as you do your homework at your desk

somin yells for you once you finally get productive and ready to start your english essay, "(y/n)! look! come over here! it's seungcheol!"

you slide over next to somin and she points at the figures of seungcheol, hansol and mingyu on the field, all of them sitting on the benches tiredly as just practice appears to end

you watch as seungcheol stands up and toys with a single football in his hands, spinning it in the air before catching it himself

he tosses it to mingyu and starts running across the field, towards the direction of your yard as mingyu hands it to hansol, who then punts it to seungcheol

and of course, it goes over your fence and into your backyard

now you see hansol and mingyu slouch tiredly on the bench as seungcheol comes running nearing your backyard fence

making you and somin hide back in your room before you're caught

"does seungcheol know you’re home?"

"why does that matter?"

"because, he's going to call for you because he likes—"

"(y/n)!" and when he says your name, it clicks in your head

tHIS BOY HAS BEEN PURPOSELY THROWING THE FOOTBALL IN YOUR YARD TO TALK TO YOU

okay, so he's been making hansol and mingyu throw it in your yard, but the sentiment is still the same

you step out on the balcony and once again, there's choi seungcheol leaning against the bars of your fence

this time, you slowly pick up the football, spinning it around in your hands, "hansol really needs to get better at kicking this the other way"

"yeah, we're working with him tonight on that, sorry again… I don't even know how or why it gets all the way here"

"I think I know why" you spin the football in your hands again and seungcheol raises an eyebrow, "why are you making hansol kick the ball this way?"

"what?"

"I watched you hand the ball to hansol and he kicked it this way knowing fully well the goal posts are the other way, and you even started running in this direction before he even kicked the ball"

"ok ok, you caught me" he sheepishly confesses, scratching the back of his head nervously, "well since I've been so busy with practice and with games every week and so, I barely get to see you anymore… and I like seeing you"

"you still see me around classes and around campus, we have literature class together"

"yes, but… that's during school... and never mind, can I have the ball back please?"

"but what seungcheol?" you still hold it hostage as seungcheol groans

"I like you, (y/n)! that's why I make hansol and mingyu kick the ball this way and into your yard, because since the first time you tripped over it and ever since the project in lit class, I can't get you out of my head"

"you still remember that?" you're embarrassed that he remembers your terrible first impression of you tripping over the dumb football and he breathes out a laugh

"of course, I've never seen someone so mad at a football before and you were, or are pretty cute"

"I tripped and nearly fell on my face" your face heats up at the memory while seungcheol shakes his head

"you tripped cutely" he tries, reaching out and touching your arm through the fence, "so…"

"so what, mr. quarterback?"

seungcheol pulls his best pouty face, "may I have the ball back and would it be too much to ask you out to dinner tonight?"

"I don't know… I do have a lot of homework to catch up on because someone keeps distracting me by throwing their football into my backyard"

"tomorrow night then?"

you toss the ball over to him and he easily catches it, "don't you have a game tomorrow night?"

he frowns and sighs at the football in his hand, "after then, after tomorrow night's game," he promises as he runs back, "see you (y/n)!"

the next night, you decide to watch the game from your balcony, proudly wearing your school's hoodie while eating some popcorn to get into the whole school spirit thing from the comfort of your own house

somin keeps you company as she writes an essay to turn in last minute with your help, making you lose track of who's winning or losing with her endless amount of questions

you're proofreading her paper when she stands up and drags you out of your chair, "(y/n)! seungcheol is waving this way! for you!"

when you look up, you can see seungcheol's hand waving in your direction and to anyone else, it could just be him pointing up in the air for no reason

you try and wave back, but you don't even know if he can see that far, so you quickly put your hand down to not look like a fool

it's the last two minutes of the game and your school is in the lead by three points when somin already bets seungcheol and the team are going to win

and of course, you go along with her and when the final timer runs out, you see everyone swamp the field in celebration

you hug somin, but you just wish you were hugging seungcheol in congratulations

soon, you see the large batch of ppl slowly trickle out of the field, only a couple members of the team standing in the middle before there’s only one person

you stand on you balcony as notice the only person left on the field gesture in your direction, his arm motioning for you to come over as you promptly look around to check if it is for you

you notice a football fly into the air and into the middle of your backyard again, and so of course you know exactly who's on the field

you rush downstairs and take the football from the ground, briskly walking to the middle of the field in your hoodie and jeans to meet the one and only choi seungcheol

he's dressed in another jersey's of his, his hair damp with either sweat or water with his gear and duffle by his feet

you toss the ball over to him and he catches it with one hand as you approach him, his other hand staying behind his back, "congrats, mr. quarterback"

"hey (y/n)" he smiles innocently at you

"why did you throw the ball into my yard again? I was going to come over here anyway, you already have my attention"

seungcheol's flustered by you last comment before clearing his throat, "old habits die hard, and for some reason, the ball just wants to go in that direction"

you roll your eyes at his excuse as you take the football in your hands, spinning it around and he takes a step closer to you, "and speaking of habits, I was wondering if you could help me with a new one?"

"if it means retrieving the ball for you always, no. you should really break that habit of throwing that my way"

"no no, I don't mean that," he pulls out a single flower from behind his back and smiles at you, "go out with me?"

you accept the flower and step closer to him, "I thought I already agreed to this date?"

"the thing is with habits, they occur over and over again, yeah? and so I'm asking you out on multiple dates, you know?"

"are you ever going to break this habit?"

"if you say yes, then never. I'll never break this habit"

your eyes dart to his lips and his eyes dart to yours and he leans closer to you to try and kiss you but you chicken out at the last moment

you hold up the football in front of your face, blocking his lips with the winning ball, "ah ah ah, you haven't even taken me out yet"

"I can't get a kiss for winning the game?" he bashfully pouts

"hmm, let me think about it…" you pretend to think about it for a moment before leaning towards him, your lips super close to his cheek, but not touching his skin before you mutter into his ear, "nope, you have to take me out first, remember?"

you teasingly smirk at him as you run towards the field's exit, waving him over from afar as he starts jogging towards you with his duffle and his gear slung over his shoulder

seungcheol has this cute little pout as you wrap your free hand in his, swinging his arm as you walk together

he stops in his tracks and drops his duffle and gear on the ground, "wait, I need to do something, real quick"

he holds out his hand for the football and you apprehensively give it to him, watching him jog the distance back to the middle of the field and throws the ball to its usual spot, back to your backyard

you watch with your jaw open as the ball flies over and seungcheol runs back over to you, "oops, bad habit"

#Seventeen #seungcheol scenarios #choi seungcheol scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seungcheol au #seventeen imagines #seventeen au #seungcheol imagines #choi seungcheol imagines #Scoups imagines #scoups scenarios #scoups au #jock!seungcheol #my work

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lafortis · 5 years ago

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Well today could have been worse I just kinda had a dull sort throbbing headache and mild vertigo

I was feeling more vertigo TN tho so I took one and I’ll hop back on my schedule this week

Idk if I’ve ever talked about it but I hate how fragile and stupid and forgetful I am like I just ruined like two days in a row and fucked with my neurochemistry pretty bad because I fucking forgot?????

Like besides everything else that makes me a useless little prole, how I (don’t) take care of my own body makes me wanna start over and develop better mental habits about everything like ten years ago

Seriously, what is it that has made me like this

Not just all that stuff like everything

I seriously can’t think of a way that I really turned out positive. Like the way I am feels in-born, and if it isn’t I certainly wouldn’t know how to go about “fixing” it. Like I’m 23 and arguably a professional now (slightly) and still every time I get excited or animated I spit when I talk and become an annoying little fat kid at a game shop again. I can feel myself die inside every time I fail to be an adult with my coworkers, or can hear the silence in the conversation that my differences caused. Like am I neurodivergent? I mean I am with ADHD and depression but I mean in that way? Or am I just really poorly socialised? Or even worse, was I socialised completely normally, and the barriers I feel now are of my own making?

I just wanna feel normal bro. I wanna stop feeling the distance between myself and others, like my friends essentially have to tolerate a bunch of shit just to be around me. I wanna be able to talk to ppl I barely know about normal shit and not whatever hyperfixation I have this week. I wanna stop hitting up ppls dms with like weak ass barely flirtatious msgs knowing how cringe it sounds (and realising more and more that it sounds even worse than I think it sounds because only now am I realising that everyone ELSE already knows all these things about me) bcus I’m more and more isolated, and only further isolating myself. I know all these things are within my power technically. But how do you turn off your brain and become someone else???? I would love to I really would. Fuck all the shit I’ve ever talked in my life about dudebros or whatever normie shit, I’d rather that than what I’m feeling right now

I want to not be looking at myself in the mirror and wondering what went wrong, because everything seems like it should be good. Like I should have been able to finish school, I should have a girlfriend right now. On the surface this are either strengths or not particularly weaknesses for me. What happened? Fucking I happened I guess, because as much as I lie to myself and say I’m smart or funny or charismatic or Not That Ugly Actually or whatever, the results are coming in daily, and the kind of life I’m living is pathetic. I’m not in control of anything. There is no success. No one I know really honestly respects me or thinks of me in the same way as I think of myself. At best the respect I get is that of someone who had fixated on something enough to become good at it. Not the respect I lie to myself that I deserve, that of someone across the board competent, good to handle anything you’d throw them, if you’d just please throw them something. I spend my days comparing myself favorably to those above me and coming up with reasons that I’m taking instruction from them despite being obviously superior; my ego can’t handle anything else besides everyone above me being accidentally promoted or rich or knowing somebody or whatever.

I remember a couple years ago someone sent me an anon that was asking the lines of “spend less time sucking your own dick and more on improving or being less of a dick” or something idk anyway they were completely right. I literally can’t stop my thought processes from being self congratulatory. I’m self aware and self analyzing (besides the part where I never really considered the possibility that I’m like really aut*st*c and everyone hates me) but I always come to the conclusion that I was right, that I did as good a job as I could, that I’m really skillful in what I do. So anon if you’re still around: is this better ma'am. Does this please you .

I just want life to be easier I guess who doesn’t

Even this is all fucking conceited parody of self reflection. For what purpose? To get a hug and a “feel better” from some internet nobody? To get the validation, in hopes I’ll feel better? I think writing this is cathartic but that’s probably not why I’m writing it. I’m writing it in hopes someone will read it and either tell me it’s ok and I’m wrong or say “aw baby it’s alright to be like that. now come here I’ll help you out” y'know like I’m just desperate for fucking witnesses. For self recognition in the other no matter how brief and pathetic. I can’t help but fucking do this, act like this, regardless of saying this and saying I know it. I still tailor this shitty little breakdown to be accessible and make sure I don’t misspell, and I’m gunna try and put a read more on it in hopes that convinces somebody to read it rather than the other way around. I’m pathetic I’m pathetic I’m so pathetic and I’m still gonna do it. I guess that said what more can I say here. There’s so many like layers of action and presumed reaction and imagined critique and imagined audience that anything I write here is more mentally tainted than usual

I wanna fucking never think like this again but I know once I hit post I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and go to work and nothing will change and no one will read this shitty little message in a bottle

Good night nobody I wanna cry

#tw #like a couple things #depression mostly #suicide tw #?#i don't remember #just don't read it I'll try and put a read more anyway despite what i write #alright I got it working #The html Editor wouldn't show up so I had to use like desktop mode in Chrome on my phone #fucking terrible website #ok I sacrificed an hour if sleep for this is bed time #long annoying show tomorrow

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kyunsies · 3 years ago

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Mädch darling!!!! 💖💖💖

It's been a minute because I've been having an awful time lately! However!!!!!! I could not sit idly by!!!! So buckle up because I don't know if you're ready for this!!!

First! I love your gifs!!!!! I do!!! They are always so consistently lovely!!! Even if coloring or whatever isn't consistent, the joy I receive from seeing your gifs IS consistent. I'm NEVER annoyed by seeing you post your gifsets. I can always feel the love and joy you put into making them. Especially when you go off in the tags about whoever you happen to be giffing. I love that. I adore seeing you go a little insane about Changkyun (and so does my sister, so that's two, at least).

Secondly! If people are annoyed by your posts or the frequency, that's literally not your fault or your problem in any way, shape or form. It is up to each individual to curate their own experience on Tumblr. It is not your responsibility. Other people's experience on here is not your responsibility. Your blog is Your Space, and you can and will and must do whatever you want with it! Whether your gifs are good (they are) or bad (they aren't), or whether you post too much (not possible) or too little (also not possible), it is not your responsibility or problem if other people are annoyed. I know it can be disheartening if gifs don't get as many notes as you'd hoped, but I want you to know that you at least have one avid fan (actually I can say two fans - my sister also loves seeing your posts).

I hope you know that I LOVE seeing you on my dash. Whether that's gifsets or rb's or text posts or updates or other people's asks (I do read them occasionally), seeing you on my dash always makes me smile, without exception. I do also want to mention I put nearly everything in my queue, so it takes a while for posts to get reblogged sometimes... But! They're there, waiting to be posted.

Anyway!!! I hope your day improves by leaps and bounds today, whether that's by this message or other means (treat yourself? Call a friend? Gif some more?). I really do hope you can continue to do what you love to do without worry! LOL (lots of love) 💖💖💖 dkbtho

hi angel !!!!! i’m sorry i’m getting back to this so late :( i’ve been studying for my second exam of the week tomorrow :’) as always never worry about taking your time replying !!! i’m so sorry to hear you are going through a hard time right now 🥺 everything will end up working it’s way out, okay?

i also want to apologize for …. kinda being a crybaby :/ i’m going to be 100000% honest when i say that even if i were getting 0 notes, i would still be giffing 😭 i love giffing so much and it brings me so much joy . i’m so so proud of the progress i’ve made since the beginning and i’m so grateful for all of my friends who have helped me along the way …. i don’t want to sound like i’m ungrateful or complaining because i understand how annoying that must come across to everyone :( recently i just feel like my content is bothersome ?? idk if that’s the right word but even tho i make gifs because it makes me happy, i also want that happiness to be shared with others too and i just feel like maybe that’s not the case :( tumblr has brought me many great (and honestly some of my worst) online experiences ever and i wouldn’t trade it for a thing . but when you’ve been doing this for a while now, sometimes note count gets in your head and i’ll be the first one to admit it 😭 i try not to think so selfishly about stuff like that because again at the end of the day i absolutely love it, but i think it’s a common thing all content creators feel at some point in their time here …. at least i think?? i hope i’m not the only one …. and it’s hard to talk about that stuff in here bc sometimes ppl take it as “you only care about notes so if you’re unhappy stop doing it” so i try to be as positive as possible, you know?

i can’t help but sometimes think this way, you know? idk i just work really really hard and i want others to hopefully see and share the love that i have in making content ,,,,,,, but again, i also want to thank you so much for even coming here and saying this to me bub 💖 you have a lot going on and you totally didn’t have to take time out of your day to be super supportive, but you did and your kindness is really touching me 🥺 i never want to come across as negative to anyone but some days you are just more down on yourself than others, right? but regardless, thank you for your supportive and sweet words, they really made my heart swell earlier today 🥺 even if tumblr is in shambles (more than it is lol) this gal will still be giffing even if it kills me nsnndnndjd so , just thank you and i love you loads and i hope things will start to look better for you angel !!! have a nice night 💕💓💖💗💘💞💕💓💖💗💘💞💕💓💖💗💘💞

#asks #dkbtho

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survivormetaverse · 3 years ago

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Episode 2 - "Fuck I’m on the cursed tribe" ~Moth

a lil sad to see my girl, Bri, go, but that just makes us one person closer to the goal >:3

dennis is very sneaky. we all had a tribe call and he said he'd come later but he was actually doing the hunt challenge. like that's totally fair, it's just even afterward he acted as if he was not really focusing on it either. im going to play the game assuming he has something, just in case.

GAME AND GAME SHOW ARE DIFFERENT DSJKLFHASJDJFH no but this was hella fun pls let's do it again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX3Fs7lDDQk&list=PLrsCGcojtF16jvLW49C4855pUlLWI9pnn

Dhsjdjsjskksks. First tribal done. We just finished the taboo challenge ... A good bonding experience with my tribe. However, I have a feeling we lost. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 The fact that I was the guesser. Rip.

I filmed confessionals but my internet got disconnected hahaha so that's neat. Hopefully there will be youtube videos here soon, but new update Jodi and I are in alliances with Dennis and brayden separately which I think would be hilarious if they were also in am alliance together. And it will be funny it my internet is still out for the challenge tomorrow since I'm the guesser 😆 whoops

So this is the beginning of round 2 and here are my thoughts. Might purposely not be helpful in the taboo challenge lol but i have to do it in a way that doesn't show im throwing it? tbh i say this now but when i start playing the urge to win comes in ugh but i just wanna vote one of these people out. I also took a stroll through the wiki page for this org and i love that some of these people (esp brayden and amy) have played before and their stats are there like yassss give me ammunition yassss!!!! anywho i dont care if we win or lose tomorrow i think i set myself up nicely within the tribe and i still really dont think any of these people won the hunt challenge on my tribe but again who knowssss. if we lose the logic would probably be go for josh or ginny aka the least active people buttt i dont think so like i don't wanna go the boring route. i need to keep josh close to get to merge with him we have friends on the other tribeeeeeee so i need them to survive and i need him and i to survive till we swap or merge to link up. im also trying to win a hunt challenge but my god y'all have me fucked up!!!!!!!!! i guess we shall see what happens tomorrowwwwww

It was nice sitting the challenge out, I'm busy tomorrow and the fact that they could complete it is good for me. Also, if we lose, nobody can blame me for the loss. Only drawback is it appears to me some people can be getting close by bonding over funny things in a game. I have to go back and see who may be close, I don't think I'm next on the chopping block, but I'm definitely not in control. To me, I do not need to be number one on this tribe, I just need to survive the next tribal and hopefully make it to the swap at 14 or 15.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm_dmPuwzzI&list=PLrsCGcojtF16jvLW49C4855pUlLWI9pnn&index=2 anotha one dj khaled

HEY SO KIND OF A LOT OF DEVELOPMENTS TO MY GAME we didn't lose first challenge!! thats great. whatever. no tribal. I've been trying to connect with fellow tribemates but overall we're all pretty quiet. I did have a small 30 minute call with Jay where we kinda connected on somewhat of a game level. I kinda get the vibe that he may not fully trust me or he might see my as a threat, but I want to work with him. I also really like Anastasia and Elle, I think I can connect with them more on a more genuine level. Perfect scenario for me would be setting up a trio alliance of Me + Elle + Anastasia, and then having Jay on the side as my actual #1. idk if I can pull that off, but that was my plan heading into round 2 BUT. AS ROUND 2 STARTED, MY GAY ASS WON THE HUNT CHALLENGE. AMAZING. idk HOW I managed it because like?? I finished and found the hidden link within like 20 minutes? Statistically very unlikely BUT I'm so glad I did it. I WON A SAFETY WITHOUT POWER. It's kinda like a hidden immunity idol, except slightly worse because I can't actually partake in tribal at all. we went ahead and competed in the Taboo challenge last night and boy it was kinda rough. We lost a LOTTA points because we kept accidentally saying forbidden words (I lost us 2 points, woops). But we ended up with a semi decent score. Elle did an amazing job guessing. I really hope we can pull this out. SO YEAH SORRY THATS KIND OF A LOT. OVERALL I FEEL LIKE IM IN A DECENT POSITION, WAY BETTER NOW THAT I HAVE A SWP. I wanna further my position in the game with some allies now. That's my next biggest goal. toodles!!!

So I've figured out that Amy is a comp beast based on us discussing our old seasons and how she did in those: she always talks down her abilities because she's worried she's being painted as a big challenge threat, but I don't think she realizes that doesn't matter to me at all. Ultimately, I think she needed to be at tonight's challenge more than me, so I decided it's ok to sit out since I'm sitting out only because somebody has to, not because I don't want to play. In tribal challenges, it means she'll help keep us winning tribal immunity, and further down the line, if anything, I'll be using her as my "Ken" and if she wins everything, it'll keep immunity away from people I want out.

I think I did much better in Taboo than I did in endurance, so I'm happy about that. Hopefully my performance this round can help me redeem myself with my tribemates.

Today in the fools tribe: no one is talking

Holy crap we won yet again this is such a great feeling just like last season :)

Fuck I’m on the cursed tribe this round This time I think I’m on the majority alliance, which is a great place to be. So hopefully everything goes as planned tomorrow

https://youtu.be/fszNKUHjB_8

So! We did the Taboo challenge and got second place, probs wouldve got first if we didnt get deductions but also we did so good so whatever 😂. I definitely kinda pushed for us to do the challenge last night bc it's Dylan's birthday and I didn't want to have to like, be anywhere specifically today 😅. But yeah we did super good and now I'm gonna go talk to ppl bc I've been gone all day lol

Bye I hate it here.

SO. Here’s the rundown: We lost. Again. Pushing for Shaad to go. Moth, Jared, and Danny all agree with him going. So far I’m getting good vibes with everyone. Danny says he gets along with Jared well and doesn’t talk to Moth that much. Plus, Jared, Moth and I have that little alliance. Jared and I also get along well. Worried for Moth as she doesn’t seem to message a lot. This tribal... I’m feeling safe. I might even make an alliance with Jared, Danny and I. Worst case scenario for next challenge we lose and Moth goes.

Yay we won again! Anyways, Dennis messaged me tonight talking about how everybody else knows each other from playing Stings games before. He said he checked the series wiki and got freaked out and told me that we're two newbies amongst vets. While he's telling the truth, I'm actually not too panicked because 1) I actually checked out the wiki before he told me about it and 2) I have pretty decent relationship with Amy to incentivize her to keep me around. I worked tightly with Amy for the specific reason that I knew she'll have others to work with, and for her to keep me as a loyal number. I also know that she was runner up of another series and she already recognizes the target on her, so I doubt she wants to risk me putting a bigger one. WOW FOR ONCE I'M NOT THE FLAMING TARGET I LIKE THIS

Round 1 updates: https://youtu.be/5nhSsLNcnZ0 https://youtu.be/S5-0Yw93wc0

Round two rambles: https://youtu.be/CuwgF9IVmUM

So, tbh I've done some research about some previous seasons and I noticed Moth and Jessica have played together before. Moth still has not talked to me but Jessica has been overly friendly. I know they have a group message with Jared and I know he can be the split vote between what happens in our tribal tomorrow. Jared claims he has voted for Moth but we will truly see tomorrow. But honestly, if he chooses us, then Jessica is next unless the tribe swap or merge has happened.

Also with that research, I've peeped there's other connections in other tribes from previous games so this is gonna be interesting.

I chose Jared to work with mostly because I see he can play strategy.

Fools tribe is bad at playing games. And its perfect for me because I am safe but i am wishing for drama bcs its fun. rn we are doing small talk and being so nice to each other. I think we will form an alliance officially soon but i am too awkward or like i dont know how to say it or bring it up.

WHY! DOES! MY! TRIBE! KEEP! WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am trying to go the fuck to tribal council but noooo we have to beast all the other tribes yet again. Like a swap is probably coming soon and with my fuckin luck I am gonna get swap screwed like they are gonna look at me from the phantoms and be like yeahhhh theyve been winning lets get his ass out. i would love to lose this next one so the sees look stronger. if phantoms go to tribal I know I''m safe (anything can happen but I set myself up well), and thats all I care about. Jodi and I started to really talk about the vets who are playing this season, and we just realized that we're the only newbies on our tribe. like wow. The fantasy would be to get to merge and have a numbers advantage of newbies against these vets, or make the vets eat their own idk. Lots of thinkin lots of thinkinnnnn. I have been strolling through the wiki page some more and mapping out potential connections from previous seasons. The casting directors work hard but i work harder

https://youtu.be/gsDJIiGiqHE

https://youtu.be/V1ku4_-w0SY

Roses are red We’re on day six Fools tribe worse at challenges than a bag of dead bricks

That im one of the strongest competitors on my tribe, Dennis feels like he is on the outs, but that connects us so i can pull him in as an ally.

It’s been a tricky round

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: Jodi remains at the top of the tribe for much of the same reason as last round. Now, she is even in two alliances with no one wanting to come for her nor do they see her as playing both alliances. Hopefully Jodi’s quick alliance making and constant worrying will help strengthen her defenses in the later rounds to come when people will be looking at her more closely.

Amy: Amy is still playing that stellar UTR game. No one seems to register her as a threat despite their access to the wiki and her performance in the challenge. Her social game is just too strong. Additionally, her greater willingness to work with Dennis than Jodi’s willingness to work with him may provide some good allies for Amy if she ever wants to distance herself from Jodi.

Brayden: Brayden rises in the rankings from last round as he has become more closely aligned with Amy and Jodi. The trio seem to see themselves as the only “active” ones on their tribe and are very quick to bond. Additionally, unlike Dennis, Brayden is not viewed with suspicion by either Jodi or Amy. They definitely feel more like a core alliance than they did with Dennis. Furthermore, Brayden is poised to get the people he wants gone out of this game. He is targeting Josh and Dennis which are good targets, especially the latter. All it takes is for Brayden to push a little for Dennis and I am sure the two girls will take the bait. Finally, Brayden’s connection with Ginnifer is very beneficial since he seems to be the only one willing to work with her at the moment. This gives him a very easy ally and Ginnifer doesn’t have much of a choice besides working closely with him. It is certainly an easy number for Brayden if he ever wanted to backstab Jodi or Amy in the future.

Josh: What lands Josh here is that he performed well in the challenge and is easy to like. Interacting with Josh on calls is always a pleasure. However, by not being part of that main trio, he is in danger of being voted out on a whim. Despite that, he seems to be, in my eyes, the least likely out of the bottom 3 to be voted out. Additionally, there is paranoia around people’s “experience” with ORGs surrounding these bottom 3 from others (despite the fact that the top 3 is composed of 2 people with ORG experience). Josh gets this heat the least.

Dennis: Dennis is in real danger if this tribe goes to tribal council. If Brayden pushes hard enough, Jodi can be easily swayed into turning on Dennis. He needs to back off with the strategy talk and just be more social. What saves him from last is that he is in that alliance with Jodi and Amy. This might make Jodi hesitant about targeting Dennis so soon as she may see him as a number. Additionally, Amy does seem keen on keeping Dennis around for a little while which would help his longevity. Hopefully Dennis can realize people’s perceptions of him before it is too late considering that he gives great confessionals and is one of my favorite players this season.

Ginnifer: Ginnifer may be on the bottom, but she definitely has a chance at avoiding being voted out. Most talk around Ginny is about how she is hard to socialize with, but I am sure, when the strategic game starts becoming more important, she can navigate out of this position. After all, she does have Brayden advocating for her which can definitely help. She would need to push for Dennis if she wants to survive until the swap at this point.

Fools

Jared: He takes the number 1 spot on this tribe as he is working with both “sides.” He is serving as the perfect double agent for Danny and Shaad. Additionally, he is making the smart move of getting rid of an obvious duo wherein he was the third wheel of that alliance. He has a great strategic mind on his shoulders, but is it too early for him to show that off? Regardless, he has earned this top spot by avoiding the target cleanly and betraying his allies perfectly. Jared is definitely a contender for the winner spot as he has shown some excellent gameplay these past two rounds.

Danny: Danny has done well in avoiding the target this round as well. He seems to be more sociable and active than Shaad which is the main reason that he is not the one getting Jessica’s and Moth’s vote. Additionally, he was the one that brought Jessica’s and Moth’s pre-existing relationship to Jared’s attention which caused this flip to happen in the first place. Finally, Danny made an excellent move by pairing himself with Jared as this duo could be something fearsome to go up against in the future. The cards are being laid out for a force to be reckoned with and I am excited to see what Danny will do in the future.

Shaad: It is hard to tell if Shaad did anything himself to avoid being voted out, but, regardless, he did something right by aligning with Danny and Jared instead of ratting to Jessica and Moth. In fact, even if he does rat, he will still land himself at number 3. He is not going to get voted out here, and has an established alliance moving forward. And now that he is putting more focus on the game, I am happily anticipating what he can accomplish now.

Jessica: Jessica is being blindsided tonight. However, at the very least, she is not the one going. Her performance in challenges have helped her avoid the target for the time being. Here we can see that the boys weren’t inactive, they were just inactive with her which spells doom for Jessica if this tribe goes to tribal council again. Unfortunately, the boys found out about her prior connection with Moth. The only thing Jessica could have done was to distance herself from Moth at the beginning of the game, but that seemed unlikely since people were inactive with her. I hope Jessica is able to survive until a swap because it would be devastating to see her go so early.

Moth: There is nothing Moth did that landed them here. It was just an unfortunate circumstance wherein they are targeted because of a prior connection. Additionally, I doubt Moth is going to see this coming.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: With an advantage in his hands and him being the most popular bachelor on his tribe, Colin is quick to make allies and his allies like it that way. It feels as if everyone wants to ally with Colin. His activity in the earlier stages of the game have definitely born fruit.

Elle: Similar to Colin, everyone wants to work with Elle. Her social game is just that strong. Nothing much else to say besides what I said before, but the challenge definitely helped raise Elle’s standings in the tribe.

Anastasia: Similar to last round. Nothing much to say.

Jay: He is keeping out of the spotlight which is good.

Babs: No developments. Still viewed in the same way though has noticeably been less unhinged in the tribe chat.

Jennifer: Still the same as last time: seemingly inactive and might be targeted for it.

#episode #episodes

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cow3survivor · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 1 Pt. 2: “Playing a Game With A Fresh Slate” - Jessica

SAM

https://youtu.be/gmZlNel3IZM

JESSICA

We did it! We won immunity! Shout out to Sammy for making the flag that won us the advantage and Pete for doing so well in luck! Also in 6 hours or however long it has been since my last confessional, I have decided I do like Sam and we will align. So I guess I want to align with everyone except Madison... hopefully if we lose she is out first!

JABARI

So our tribe is heading to tribal and I'm very nervous because anyone can go atp. I need to make sure that isn't me.

JENNET

we flopped that :(( and i think i may be one of the reasons :( trying my best to not let anybody know im upset but as tribal council looms closer im getting worried

(a little later)

im trying not to throw anybody under the bus but i think that im voting out nash :(( they havent been super active and they havent texted me back since i texted them so it just makes sense to boot them :((

(after eating some rice)

voting out another black woman weighing heavy on me :( i hate that its coming to this

PETE

our tribe had a celebratory discord call which only consisted of like 4 or 5 people but i joined later after everyone left anyways i had a long nice chat with Sam in which i found out he hosts an in person survivor with his friends at home and hes nice ANYWAYS he apparently, like me, is cursed to forever be a premerger. So from here on out i solemnly swear to never vote for Sam during the premerge phase fuck yeah

JAKE

https://youtu.be/aVQKOOrapj0

remind me tomorrow to chill out and take a back seat on the vote lmaooo

PENNINO

Going to tribal i feel like i'm pretty much safe. I feel like that 4 minutes was a good time for the easy jigsaw, but Ethan getting 1.5 minutes is almost impossible. Assessment on my tribemates Jabari: Seems like a nice person, has talked more and has been much more active, I think she has gotten herself off of the chopping block. Jake: Still a nice person, but has lost some activity during yesterday. Possible Ally still Jennet: Nice, active enough, not a target Jones: Not very active. A bit of a target. I will most probably to vote her to be say. Lindsay: Very active, we talk to each other a lot, nice person, possible ally Mikey: Nice person, nothing much, not a target Nash: ˆˆˆ Nicole: ˆˆˆ, but not as active Silver: Active, nice person, but he doesn't respond to my dm's that much, but, still, a possible ally. I feel pretty good about this tribal honestly

JONES

https://youtu.be/2UtH-dnv0i4

SAM

https://youtu.be/lzZOK2CxsA4

MIKEY

WELL HELLO LADIES. SO SO SO SO SO! Instead of rambling Ill just get on with it. Starting off, Me and Nash REALLY freaking connected. Like they’re so fun to talk to!! BUT. They’ve been inactive. and so Pennino is now going around spreading their name, and basically everyone is saying sure why not. This SUCKS because Me and Jabari wanted to make an alliance with them and jake, but now we are faced with a problem. We both have basically decided that instead of Nash we are gonna drag in Peppino. I brought that idea up because me and him are both the youngest people in the game, and I really wanna go far with Peppino. My goal this season is to beat a bunch of adults and make them feel angry that a 15 year old outsmarted them. Its so funny! Anyways besides that, Im feeling good about that 4. I wish it wasn't Nash going home, considering the only other name out was Jones, and I woulda much rather did her, but you know that's how the cards fall I guess. A bad bitch is done with tonights confessional. A bad bitch is now gonna press submit. A bad bitch says GOODBYE ASF!

SILVER

https://youtu.be/JLwZRNesRHI

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YF3mYJfYIq_2Qco8EQYq3JowyMSbin8M/view?usp=sharing

NASH

im crying i have no idea whats going on!!! HKDHEJDHW all i know is talk to mikey and play 8 ball with nicole

(a little later)

ETHAN

Charan's Hot Confessional Questions

<a:dance:777952213808447519> 1. Give us a Trust Rankings of your tribemates! Who are you bonding with the most? Who are you bonding with the least? I trust Shane the most, and right now that’s because he is the only person that is actively strategizing. Besides that, I feel the most amicable with Jessica, lovealis, and Daisy who are wonderful people. Unfortunately both Cloud and Madison have made 0 effort with me and are generally inactive with me. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 2. Have any alliances formed on your tribe? If so, how loyal are you to these alliances? If not, do you think there are alliances out there that don't include you? There are no alliances that I’m in that have been formed, but I suspect there are some out there. Alliances without me are ok, I just need to know about them, and if there are any right now, I don’t know about them, and that’s concerning. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 3. How did your first Safari experience/run go! Did you get any closer to finding an idol? I WILL NEVER FIND ANYTHING IN A LUCK BASED SYSTEM <a:dance:777952213808447519> 4. Explain why Ryan and Charan are hotter than you A fact of life... these two slay.

LOVELIS

So things are going okay on the tribe so far! The first immunity win was rather nice & I like being able to have a bit more time to read people until were thrown into the pressure of a tribal. So far I’m definitely clicking the most with Shane and then probably Jessica but the time zones are getting in the way a little - just glad I have more time to really click with people and try and cement a place for me in this tribe. I think my contributions to the challenges have definitely helped my standing but not everybody is being super social with me so that’s a little bit of a worry - just gonna have to go ham at bothering people in private messages until they respond I suppose! 🤪

MADISON

Hi beautiful humans!!! I wish I had tea for y'all but we've won 2 challenges in a row and I really don't see the grind stopping in the foreseeable future so the tribe is kinda just vibing which gives me a little bit more time to build relationships which is a blessing and a half. I always get extremely paranoid the first week in games so the fact that I know for certain I won't be first boot is amazing!!! Tribe bonding is scheduled for tonight so hopefully by next round I'll have an alliance or 2 (maybe even the idol if I'm feeling really lucky)

JENNET

Last night really lit up a light in me. it sounds like everybody wants to work with me which is good so im now newly excited to play the game

SAMMY

okay okay okay so I would do a full out cast assessment but I literally just can not do that rn...so let's talk about who I vibe with most and who I have made like strong connections with so far! Initially, both Daisy and Jess have declared I am someone they really want to work with which is perfect for me because I want to work with them as well. I know daisy is going to be such a great competitor and I want to be on her side 100% but same with jess...im such a loyal bitch okay!! Me and Kiki really bonded over that logic puzzle so she went up in my rankings (as if she was ever low to begin with) I am not sure how well me/Pete/Nicole(opposite tribe) are gonna mesh...like I really hope me and Nicole can come together this game but I know we are just gonna end up being paranoid of each other but I love her so much. I REALLY WANTED TO BE ON A TRIBE WITH NASH AND JENNET I luv their vibes so much. okay back to my tribe tho, we won reward #mwah! I put so much effort into that because I just knew if we were to go to tribal that's an easy thing under my belt I could use as a "omg u need me for challenges". I noticed I was coming on a little too strong and presenting myself as a leader which I don't think really hurt me I think it made more people realize they should talk to me KHFBHIS. Umm okay so I love lovelis even tho he is not very active but I just know we will have each others backs for a bit. I connected well with Shane and Ethan very early and they just seem so sweet. I think if we would have went to tribal sam/lovelis/Pete could have been in danger. I would have preferred sam cause he isn't that active but he did help out some with the flag work. ANYWAYS this was not my best confessional but I do want to point out I FOUND A VOTE BLOCK SO HOLLLLLLAAAAAA! we are using this as a way to gain peoples trust so I told daisy and jess to strengthen those relationships mhmm

NASH

me pretending to be surprised that ppl wanted to vote me out first because i was kinda inactive.... i thought survivor would be different 💔

JENNET

not me being targeted for being a pretty black girl with a juicy fat ass *sad face emojis*

(a little later)

its tribal council and im shaking and im nervous, this could go horribly wrong or this could go super right

TRIBAL COUNCIL

youtube

SILVER EXIT INTERVIEW

youtube

#cowsurvivor #confessionals

0 notes

ts-akhmim · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty)

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe.

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens.

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Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me.

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind!

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting.

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them!

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass.

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

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survivenovascotia · 5 years ago

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Episode 4 - WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE IM FUCKING DYINGGGGGGGG - Dylan

I survived tribal! Barely! What a terrifying feeling that was. “We’re tied. Three votes John, three votes Keegan, one vote left.” I pray to Cthulhu I never have to feel that again. Sunshine, Dan and Jessie have apparently all messaged the rest of the tribe but they’ve been shockingly quiet towards me. And I have no plans to message any of them first. You want me out? You can come crawling back to my feet to beg for forgiveness. Maybe I’d consider it. This next challenge is a fun one but I have very very little hope we’ll actually win. And it wouldn’t surprise me if the trio of terribleness threw the challenge. I’m hoping for two things. 1. Jessie losing her vote at Oak Island. 2. Dan or Sunshine being sent to Oak Island if we lose the challenge. That would guarantee some safety for our foursome. If Jessie completed the challenge and Dan or Sunshine found an idol, and they played multiple advantages at the next tribal... that could spell some serious bad luck for us.

So I got 7 points in the last challenge. I'm honestly pretty happy with that because these challenges are my weak suit. I'm hoping we did well enough as a team to win the challenge, but we will never know if the other tribe is going to decide to put effort into the challenge or not.

ok i like Dylan Coco Chips talked to Heather Stephen a little Evan I like how he came forth at last minute on challenge. I am trying to figure 4 other people I would love to be in alliance with I know CoCO and Dylan 2 more is hard choice because I like many. Livingston is way to distant for me to ever work with to evasive not enough chat. If we lose this round I would vote Livingston for my own reason not sociable enough in chats to distant and did not try hard like other in scavenger hunt I was pissed about his non performance of trying like rest of us did

LMAO John is gone too now. That’s everyone I knew on the other tribe so. Yikes. Kinda wanna,,,, pull a Palau 😳 Also I’m crying at me just restating that Stephen wanted to sit out & he got offended. Like sister I’m just statin what’s the problem Anyway I think we’re losing this comp bc ppl be gettin low scores. glo insisted on playin & Eric somehow got a 7 so. Yikes I’m such a bitch in confessionals LMAO this is my outlet okay all of these people are wonderful okay.

I have a bad feeling this is gonna be the challenge to take us down. Just a gut feeling.

WHAT IS HAPPENING HOW ARE WE STILL WINNING WTF IS GOIN ON OVER THERE

WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE IM FUCKING DYINGGGGGGGG not only was it the 3-3 tie vote, they also insisted on an early tribal I’m fucking crying I’m fuckin-

Woohoo that alliance is broken and Dan is pretty much my sheeple. In my four I’d trust Kyle the least. Teehee. Kyle is a cool guy and enjoyable to talk to, and that’s exactly why he must leave. I gotta worry about the other tribe at this point, and Sunshine.

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Another successful vote! The plan was to split between Jessie and Dan in case one of them had an idol. Neither played an idol and in the revote we voted off Jessie for being too close to Sunshine. Everything worked out perfectly. I’m guessing there’s going to be a swap now. We’re down to 16 players. And unfortunately there’s still 10 members of the other tribe left. The swap is either going to be into two tribes of 8, or three tribes 5 with one person going to Oak Island. I think I would almost prefer two tribes of 8, as long as I’m not swapped into a tribe with Dan and Sunshine. I still have the extra vote so if we are swapped, I’d love to be swapped with Kyle, Mac and Darcy onto a tribe and have a 4-4 tie. So I can play my extra vote and we can take control of that tribe. But we’ll see. I think the biggest thing I need to do during the swap is form some strong bonds quickly. I don’t know that any of this tribe can make the end of the game if we can’t work our way into the other tribes alliances.

So we win the 4th challenge in a row and not even two seconds later the other tribe has tribal and has a tie vote. Honestly what is going on here!?

Dan is I think new to this game. Dan is loyal to me which he’s expressed and I’d like to keep him around as a third vote. Having an extra vote in my back pocket is kinda a flex ngl, as long as he’s not in other peoples back pockets. That just makes Dan a hoe. In other news. A swap is coming and I just wanna win a challenge. But we are going into the swap 10-6 so lmao Goodluck our tribe.

I’m actually kinda hoping for swap? it would be good for my game to actually go to tribal and have early gameplay, and if my og tribe has majority it should make it an easy vote, and would help solidify my alliances with these guys. Of course, I could also be swap screwed, so it might go badly. Who knows.

Swap or Challenge? Please Challenge, im too busy tomorrow to meet new people

Literally everyone I was like “I really want to work with blank” about are on the other tribes. Ugh. Like, I’m still sticking with the ogs, and at least I’m not poor Livingston, but its still unfortunate I won’t have that time with people like Heather, Glo, or Chips. A lot can happen on seperate tribes, they might come to merge not so thrilled to see me.

Well we did it. We finally swapped. Three people got swapped into a 4 v 1 situation. And guess who was one of those three? That’s right! It’s me! On the plus side almost immediately after the swapped Heather came to me asking if I was the one who was Harley Quinn in the music video challenge. Apparently she really wanted to meet me and hoped I didn’t get voted out. So I have that going for me right now. My biggest hope right now is that we win this challenge and I don’t have to worry about being voted out at all.

I turn on skype again, and find out I'm in this random ass island chat. Fast forward a minute and then I realize I'm on exile island with an opportunity to earn a "reward". The word "reward" was what almost convinced me not to play, because it's not nearly as enticing as "advantage". Also, I didn't even know what the challenge was! C'mon man! However, in survivor, you want as much power as you can possibly obtain. Right now, I have a close relationship with everyone on my old tribe except for livingston, and essentially I was running the show despite no one knowing it. Considering the amount of control I did have, and the fact that there's a chance I could get caught and become a threat, I decided to take the chance.

Yooo I got a special idol on exile! One of my hopes of playing survivor online was to find a hidden immunity idol, because the amount of power it can give someone, is priceless. It can be the difference between winning and losing. With this idol, it functions almost like a regular immunity idol, but I need to walk into tribal council with it around my neck and play it that night. However, that will certainly not be the only use of this idol, and I will be sure to show you when I'm ready to use it.

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dorianpavus · 8 years ago

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WELL FOLKS sorry i haven’t been around i’ve been super busy with work!!! here’s some updates!!!!

work updates!! d&d updates (the irl campaign, not the internet one)!!!

work life has been.... really rough the past few days!!!!!! like. damn. i’ve made some great friends at work (one of my friends was saying how he thinks i was like Meant To Be In His Life and he says he’s never met anyone as Good as me or as Unique as me and while i don’t agree i’m so honored and happy he thinks so u know he’s wonderful!!!! gosh!!!)

buuuuuuuuut.... like ok. i was scheduled for a clopen shift last night and today. so like, 4pm-12ish and then 8:00am-4ish, which i was already pretty bummed about. and then i found out that the person who was supposed to do the Operator shift (which involves a lot of work) the day before me color coded the hangers instead of.......... doing her job............. on a saturday............................. so i had to do an entire weekend’s worth of work this morning. and i knew that was coming, and i was already like GOD. WHY. a clopen and this?

but then saturday night, last night... there’s a new closing manager. he just got promoted. i didn’t know anything about him really, but i’d heard my team say how much they all hated him just from working with him in the past, and i guess he was brand new at the management position and Really Fucking Intense because he wanted everything to be perfect. but like i was focused in my areas and making them look super good (even on a saturday night which isn’t easy lol), except for like the diaper aisle which is always a little messy bc it gets ransacked. but i had put everything away and it looked like... fine lol. and the infants food aisle has been messy for like months bc it would take hours alone to fix so like.... no one ever has hours just to clean it. so it stays that way and has been that way 5ever. we keep it as clean as we can but like... it’s not Perfect looking. not bad, but not Perfect, and that’s the way it literally ALWAYS IS.

WELL. the new manager is from a different department and he has NEVER been over in my department. until now. and at the end of the night after the store closed he came running over and was like absolutely frantic and angry and was like WHO HAD INFANTS????????????? and i was like, um... me? very confused? and he was like, in front of everyone as we’re about to clock out, DID YOU NOT FINISH WTF HAPPENED?????? WHY IS IT SUCH A MESS?????

and i was really confused cause my area was like. pristine. and i even finished early and helped out in another area of the store. like. what???? so i thought maybe a customer had spilled something as they were leaving the store and i had somehow missed it? so as everyone else leaves he forces me to go back to infants with him and he’s like pointing at some of the diapers that are like. slightly askew or not Perfectly Straight and he’s like yelling at me like “WTF!!!!! DOES THIS LOOK DONE TO YOU?????????”

and i’m just looking at him in utter confusion cause like.... he has CLEARLY never ever worked softlines, lmao. but i was like in my head, honestly? yes, it does? like it could be zoned a little more, definitely!! but it’s not like... bad looking at all? at all? like my main boss from my department walked my areas all night and she said they looked good, so idk wtf he was on, but he was FREAKING OUT. because he was just promoted, and so he needed everything to be like factory-perfect because he wanted to look good in front of the store manager, who he’s super intimidated by.

well. lol. i was being super nice to him, and letting him yell at me, and like, “yeah, of course! this should be neater, i’m sorry, it was really busy tonight and i didn’t get to spend as much time back here as i would have liked.” which is true. like 98% of my areas were pristine, and 2% were average. lmao, so i still did a great job, but i was trying to be sympathetic to the fact that he was new and nervous and wanted to make a good impression, even if he was kind of treating me like crap. so i let him keep me at work after everyone else left and helped tidy up those two aisles that he was sooooo upset about, and then he had me leave and go do some of his work for him up at the front. and i was standing up there really upset that he had yelled at me over nothing and then made me stay at work alone and do his work for him when one of the other managers saw me up there as she was leaving and she was like ?????? katie???????// what are you doing here?????????????

and i was like “soandso is having me do this for him...” and she was like WTF!!! get outta here!!!!! go home clock out u don’t have to do that. like leave!!!!!

so i did, and i got home and was kind of upset still (i cried like the second i left the store lol) and was like pretty glum about it all (and dreading my opening shift that was now less than 8 hours away with a whole weekend’s worth of work waiting for me, yay!!!).... and then i couldn’t sleep. like i couldn’t sleep that night so i just DIDN’T SLEEP AT ALL. AT. ALL. not for a minute. before i had to go back to the store.

so i get there in the morning, and i’m trying really hard to be positive and put that behind me. like, that was last night, you’re tired af but you can do this katie!!!!!! it’s ok!!!! you got this!!! and i actually started to cheer up because i was BLAZING through all my piles of work and like........... got all of it done and it was making me super happy that i had singlehandedly caught my department back up to speed and everything.... and i was just like i’m good!!!!!!! i got this!!!!!!!!

......... and then at 2:30pm my sorta-boss came in. a lower ranking boss, the one who had been there with me the night before and had confirmed that there hadn’t been anything wrong with my areas, CERTAINLY nothing warranting the new manager’s hysterics. and she was like omg katie..... he is TELLING EVERYONE, like ALL THE HIGHER UPS, that my area was a DISASTER last night and saying how he had to stay late and clean it all up (not mentioning that i stayed and helped him tilt diaper boxes so they were perfectly aligned in my area since that was sooooo~~~ terrible~~~~, or how i did his job stuff for him, lmao), and saying how i had apparently told him i “don’t zone HBA” as in i literally supposedly told my boss that i never do my job???????????? because that is completely believable????????

but the worse part is is that a bunch of the store managers believed him. lol. even though he’s literally fabricating things i said and exaggerating and twisting this situation just to make himself look good. over something super fucking insignificant... and when my boss came up to bat for me and was like WHAT?????????? her areas were fine i checked them myself!!!!!!!!! and he had her stay and tidy it up anyway with him too, it’s not like she left and he had to clean up some imaginary mess of hers!!!! and she helped him do his stuff!!!!! and she would neeeeeeever have said that, and i asked her, and she swears she didn’t anyway!!!!!!!

and i was like... <333333 thank u!!!!!!!! but the other store manger she was defending me to was like... in one ear and out the other. and all, like, “well, soandso said that she said that. so she must have.” despite everything that my boss was saying to defend me. and pointing out that he was LITERALLY LYING. like 2 ppls words against his, but he’s the higher ranking manager, so clearly he’s telling the truth. ughhhhhh.

well when i found out that he was telling my whole place of employment that i was apparently terrible at my job and a terrible person who doesn’t give a fuck about my job here i got pretty upset!!! especially after no sleep!!! and i hadn’t had anything to eat all day!!! like actually nothing!! so like it’s towards the end of my shift and i start like tearing up hiding in the room adjacent to the fitting room and trying to get myself to calm down...

and then my friend (the one who said those nice things 2 me, the security guard i love so much!!!) came by and he was like WHY ARE YOU CRYING??????? and like super upset that i was upset, and he was trying to calm me down/figure out what was wrong/help but it was so so embarrassing to be crying in front of him godddddd, like AT WORK crying. jesus.

and then another coworker of mine saw me crying too. and now another coworker of mine just messaged me on FB saying he heard about everything and he’s furious on my behalf (which i’m really happy there’s ppl on my side here and some people believe me...) and stuff but i’m like 100% positive the fact that i was crying has probably made its way around work which i’m just... so humiliated by

god. i have tomorrow off work so i’m looking forward to not being there because it’s kind of making me miserable right now. like who does that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the area looked fucking fine, why are you trying to make this huge thing and throw me under the bus just for.. what? to make yourself look like... a self-sacrificing person? a leader who will do anything for the store? idk. it’s so shitty!!!!

but whatever. :(

i was also SUPER SUPER tired cause after work i had to run home and go straight into my first d&d session, like our actual playing!!!

and omg!!!! omg friends it’s sooooo fuuuun!!!!! just.... i forgot all my exhaustion and bad work things and was just elated while i was playing. it’s the BEST. and i rolled like a million natural 20s and played super smart!!!!!!!!! asra is killin it!!!!!!!!!!! :3

anyway it’s now 2:47 am and despite like an accidental 10 minute nap i had on the couch when i got home from d&d i’m still awake. it’s been so long since i slept lol???. and my brother bought me like an entire pizza to cheer me up???????? lmao. also cause i went like 24 hours without food which was..... bad. god. what a horrible no good dirty rotten day this was. except for d&d. d&d was amazing.

anyway. i’m gonna go put away my leftovers and pet my kitty and then watch critical role as i drift off. :)

sorry i haven’t been around much!!! or posting much!! my dash has been pretty MIA lately too which doesn’t help. i’ll try and get a queue up and running. i love u all and i hope things are goin well in ur lives too!!! <333333333

#personal spam #work drama in here? but also happy d&d mentions lol so

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