#ANYWAY love drawing kiryu when i get the chance !!!!!!!!

[todayisafridaynight]

[comm]

Commission Info (October 24th, 2024)

[snuggetfish]

Majidad family headcanons..? 🥺👉👈

Say no more 💖 This is LONG so I've put it under the cut!

First off, how many children would Majima want? Frankly, the man’s so happy to be given the chance at fatherhood in the first place that even just one would send him over the moon... but he wouldn’t say no to more. He’s paid enough visits to Kiryu to feel that twinge in his heart, hearing the echo of so many cheery voices around the orphanage. 

So, if it at all possible, he’d love to see his dream about having his own little cuddle puddle of kids become a reality. He’ll maybe slightly underestimate how difficult it’d be to take care of them all, but he’s Majima Goro, moulded by fate to be one tenacious bastard. He’ll pull through, somehow, with the help of a loving partner willing to go the distance with him. However, if he did only have one kid, you can bet they’d be spoiled absolutely rotten. You might think that the roles of good cop/bad cop would be obvious in a crazy yakuza dad+presumably civilian spouse couple, but think again, because Majima is a complete pushover when faced with cute puppy eyes. 

Extra serving of ice cream after dinner? He'll pile gigantic scoops into his bowl and then give up not even halfway through, sliding it towards his child. He can't really wink, but they get the picture. “Who in ever is gonna finish this for me?” Five minutes more at the park? Sure thing, they can have the whole hour and maybe Kiryu-chan might show up in the meantime too so they can... schedule their next fight. No throwing down in front of the kid! I think also once Majima becomes a dad, his priorities shift. Slightly, but noticeably. He still upholds his vicious reputation, but he isn't living at the edge any more, fighting through each day like it's his last, defusing bombs with little regard for safety. If surviving up until now was luck more than anything, with a child in his life, he's going to make damn sure it becomes a certainty. He's got something so very precious to stay alive for.

When they're still very young, Majima would be a great help in comforting them during the night. He typically gets back at late hours anyway and relishes the chance to spend a bit of time with his child, instead of immediately collapsing into a restless sleep like he always used to. If they're awake or crying he'll comfort them as best as he can, even with his whispered voice now hoarser than he remembers it and no knowledge of lullabies... but hey, pop songs will do too. 24h Cinderella anyone? Though if they're sound asleep, he'll stick to just holding their tiny hand for a while, feel it clasp gently around his fingers... 

First things first, the gloves come off, always. "Skinship" is a Japanese word put together from English that I think is great for describing the kind of parent-child intimacy he'd want. On mornings where can afford to sleep in, it wouldn't be uncommon for his spouse to find him on the couch, dozing on and off with the baby nestled on his chest. He's afraid of falling fully asleep and missing the tenderness of the moment, plus his nightmares are not something he'd ever want his child to know... So he'll stay like that, stroking their back and peeking through a lidded eye at his partner who's busy making breakfast. Also on this topic, an idea that occurred to me recently: you know how Majima's tattoo has one of the snakes' heads on the left side of his chest? Well... call him superstitious, but he'd only hold the baby on the right side. Can't have it threatening his sweet pea. 🥺️

What about once they get older? Well probably Majima would start waking up with unexpected “extensions” made this his tattoo, in black marker. Possibly some scribbles on his eye patch as well, which he’ll still proudly wear to work. And if you know what’s good for you, you really don’t want to be the one making fun of a Mad Dog that’s sporting a little heart doodle on his face. Kisses? Yes, absolutely. As we learn from Dead Souls, Majima would not shy away from smooching his child. A “good night” kiss, a “good morning” kiss, a “have a nice day” kiss when they’re off to school. One day the kid complains that his beard’s too scratchy and Majima doesn’t even think twice before he goes back to being clean-shaven. 

I think at some point they would also have to be introduced to the domain they're going to be ruling (though only as children!): the Majima Family. Nishida would be promoted to “designated driver", for a kid all too eager to ride on someone's shoulders while daddy's away in a meeting and the Kamurocho Hills construction site would be getting a new foreman. Their duties would include drawing on the blueprints and shouting words of "encouragement" at the men through dad's loudspeaker, whenever he needs a break. Bet Majima even gets them a little hard hat and everything, custom-made! Ok so it also doesn't take long for them to figure out a fun game to play with the new family members, a hazing ritual basically: show up on the day of their first office duty and annoy the hell out of them. Men were nervous to begin with, but now they're confused and pissed, like who the hell is this brat and who let them in? Kid plays the silent card: doesn't say a word about their name or their dad's, just keeps running around and getting in their business. 

After chasing a lightning-fast kid all around the whole office, Majima comes in and they think they're saved. Surely the boss has 0 tolerance for little intruders.... Though, of course, the intruder immediately runs to daddy and it slowly... very slowly dawns on them. Kid’s grinning from behind a leather-clad leg and the poor newbies have gone white in the face mentally counting how many fingers they're gonna have to give up. But it’s all fun and games... mostly. Of course a Majima descendant would inherit his mischievous nature.

But hey at some point, uncle Saejima comes back. Though Majima’s maybe a little reluctant at first, eventually he can’t but see the value of his kid training with his kyodai in the dojo. For self-defense, but also to develop their athleticism. Saejima’s of course happy to spend time with his niece or nephew, though... you know how in Y4 one of dojo's mechanics is that the students can just skip your lessons if they're not feeling motivated enough? Majima’s munchkin would absolutely do that. Slide underneath the big tiger’s legs and make a run for it! 

I think Majima would find it terribly endearing if the child at some point started dropping Kansai words here and there. And that’s in spite of Saejima chiding him that his own accent is fake and that the kid probably picked it up from the “real source”, a.k.a Saejima himself. Heh, dad and uncle might bicker sometimes, but they both make it clear just how much they love the little one.

Now, raising a child as a high-profile yakuza is obviously not going to be all rainbows and sunshine... I think Majima would love nothing more than to indulge in the cozy fantasy of being an ideal father, spending all his waking moments playing with his kid, putting his energy and creativity to good use, just generally making sure his son or daughter get the best childhood he's never had... but it's a fantasy for a reason, because he's grounded enough in reality to know that it's not going to work out as idyllically as that. 

He's fulfilled his and Saejima's dream of climbing the yakuza ranks, although it's come at the cost of being a notorious figure, with scars both external and internal. How is he going to protect his family? How much time is he really going to be able to dedicate to his kids? How is he going to keep them from walking the same dark path he has? Not a day passes where he doesn’t ask himself all those questions... doubly so on nights where he comes home to find that they’ve wiggled in his bed as well, cozy and safe in his partner’s arms. And it hits him that they’ve already grown up so much and he fears he’s missed out on so much, on making a positive impact in their life...

Ultimately, I don’t believe Majima would want his kids to grow up involved in the yakuza. Yet at the same time he can’t entirely hide his career. Maybe that’s a good thing because it teaches him that it's never as black and white as "if I leave, they'll be safe; if I stay, they'll die". One can raise a child to be strong and, above all, make their own decisions and carve their own path, even as a dad who's for all intents and purposes a criminal. The yakuza are, after all, a fact of everyday living, hidden in plain sight, given how pervasive they are in business and politics. A kid that's seen the flip side of the coin (within reason, because you bet Majima would still be fiercely protective of them) would surely be well equipped for life. It’s what he hopes, at least. If I thought the last ask was long...oh boy. I’d like to deeply thank all my friends off whom I’ve been bouncing these privately ideas for months now!! 💙💙💙 I didn’t think there’d be much interest in Majidad headcanons, but I’m happy to have been proven wrong!

[centerofreality]

Doya, BB-chan? remember your Kiryu with Kiryu-Fan after him? it's hilarious! I love it! Can you do a Majima version? This time have Nishitani and a Majima-fanatic after him? gotta have Majima get a taste of his own medicine [you don't need to prioritized this requests, take your time, please]🧡 thank you

You had a crush on Goro Majima for so long that you’ve become his one and only fan. You knew so much yet so little. Even with your infatuation, you didn’t know how to express your feelings to the mysterious eye-patched man working at the Grand Cabaret. Nishitani, being the kindhearted man he was, decided to lend a hand in one of the many ways he knew how. Being competitive. 

UHHHHHHH- 70+ FOLLOWERS???!! YOU ALL ARE WILD!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I know I’m not active here as much but I’m grateful for all of your support!! Modules are really taking most of my time so I never got around to Tumblr. As a gift, I took the chance on what anon requested me and decided to make a oneshot! I’m not good at writing stories but hopefully, I can make it work!

Reader will be more feminine here but I will be writing they/them pronouns. Sorry about that!

Includes: Nishitani flirting with both Y/N and Majima because he has no shame, Suggestive Themes (because Nishitani), Cursing and Explicit Language, Fluff and semi-crack? Me not knowing how to write a story.

                                                  ============ 

“How old are ya again, Y/N-chan? Majima-chan is an old man, ya know.” “At least he looks like he’s actually in his 20′s, unlike you.” “I look younger than I look!”

You sigh and look at the man sitting across from you. Nishitani only had a smirk as he bounces his legs, a hostess sitting beside him and serving the both of you. “Are you here to annoy Majima-san again?” You ask him with your eyebrows raised.

“Of course!” Typical.

You, Y/N L/N, were friends with the horny criminal, Homare Nishitani. People didn’t know how or why you were friends with him, and truth be told, you didn’t know either. He had suddenly approached you one day and asked if you ‘had the hots for Majima-kun too.’, and that the both of you go to the Cabaret Grand to annoy him. He was wild and didn’t care if he was being loud. You thought he was going to throw you in the river when you had rejected his advances of ‘leaving Majima-kun and have fun at my place’ but surprisingly, you stayed alive and have been friends ever since.

One of the perks of being with Nishitani was-

“Heyyyy, Majima-kun!!!” Nishitani waves maniacally to the approaching man who looked less than pleased, even if he had a polite smile.

Yep, Nishitani’s perks were that you get basically free access to the Grand. You always spend your money on this place and even then, Majima doesn’t really show up much.

“Nishitani-san.” Majima’s face was stoic as ever but when he turned to you, his eyes got softer and he even let a small smile appear on his face as he bowed politely. “L/N-san. Thank you for coming to our establishment again today.” Had you not been anywhere but around Majima, you would have screamed at the top of your lungs. Instead, you internally squealed and bowed your head. “G-good work again, Majima-san!!”

“I’m the one paying ‘ere, ‘ya know!” Nishitani rolled his eyes before he looked at Majima, “How lucky are we though that we have the famous manager himself to attend to our table!”

“You are not harassing any of our hostesses here, I presume. I wanted to check if my guess was right.” Your eyes widened and you glare at Nishitani, “Harass?!?! Nishitani!!” The man immediately held his hands up and sat a few inches away from the hostess that he was so close with, “I ain’t doin’ nothin’!! My hands are clean!”

Majima watches the both of you interact, he was confused about why the two of you were friends to begin with. No, he wasn’t jealous that the two of you were always together, and even if you were a couple - which he could hardly believe - it wasn’t his business to know. 

“It’s all good, manager!” One of his girls said with a smile and he nodded, “I’ll be going then, please continue to enjoy your stay here.” You let out a dreamy sigh as he walked away.

“Majima-kun would ace being in a maid cafe. With the frilly dress and the cat ears and everything, that’d get me rock hard on the spot.” Nishitani randomly said, picking his ears with his pinkie as the hostess giggled at your red face, “L/N-san, do you perhaps...” “Have a mad infatuation with the guy? Hell yeah, they are.” You only looked away bashful. Were you really that obvious??

“I have a feeling Majima-san likes you back too! He treats you as his favorite customer as much as I know!” “Doesn’t he do that to all customers?” You meekly asked, watching her think and shrug. “I think he’s much more genuine to you than anyone else.”

“Not even me?” Nishitani pouted while you look at the large signs of Cabaret Grand with wide eyes. Really?? Majima...likes you back? You shake your head. No, you shouldn’t hope. There weren’t any chances that you and Majima would end up together anyway.

“Ahh, look how fucking in love they are. Why can’t I have that? I’m a handsome looking guy.” Nishitani asked, leaning back on the soft cushions of the seats as the hostess poured him another drink. “It isn’t just about looks, it’s like..it’s like, he may look intimidating but I know he has a good heart. He’s kind and respectful and I admire him a lot..” You ranted before you grab the glass of juice (because Nishitani took all the alcohol, as much as he wanted to see you drunk on broad daylight) and drank it in one go. Nishitani whistles.

“Why don’t you confess to him then? It’s worth a try, right?” The hostess suggested, pouring your glass. “What if he rejects me? I wouldn’t be able to go here again because of the embarrassment!” You cover your face and groan, dragging your hands down while Nishitani laughed at your pitiful state. “Stop laughing! It’s not funny!” “It’s a little funny!”

You look at your phone and seeing the time that’s passed, you curse under your breath and quickly finish your glass, standing up. “Eh? Going already, sweetcheeks?” Nishitani tilted his head. “Yeah, I still have work to do. I’ll be back again tomorrow!” You wave at him and the hostess who waved back as you left.

“Those two need to get a room, I’m getting blue balls just by watching them.” Nishitani groans before he pauses... then he smirks. He had just the idea.

The next day, you went to the VIP and paused, watching Nishitani flirt with a disinterested Majima. As soon as his eye had spotted you, it lit up as he bowed at you, jerking his hands away from a sulking Nishitani. “Hello again, L/N-san. VIP again?” He approached you as you played with your fingers, grinning. “A-ah, y-yeah! Here to support you and everyone else here as always!” You thanked the heavens that your voice didn’t crack as Majima smiled, “You have my utmost gratitude.”

You watched him walk past you, smelling a whiff of his cologne. You immediately sat next to Nishitani and squealed on his shoulder. “Watch the merchandise!” Even with Nishitani’s protest, he let you be.

“Even he smells good!” You shake him as he tried to balance his glass. “Guy’s stubborn as hell. Wouldn’t take my offer.” You stopped moving him around and looked up at him. “What offer?” “Just me and him on a date, no biggie.” He shrugged.

“A-a-a da-date?!?!” You exclaim and hide back when a few people in the VIP glanced at the both of you, only to look away, seeing Nishitani. “Are you serious?!” You whispered to the giggling man.

“Look, we didn’t make the fucking Majima Fanclub for nothing, aight?” The Majima Fanclub consisted of You, Nishitani, and his family who were just there because their boss told them to. 

“If you’re not going to ask him then I’m going to take my chance. Finders Keepers.” He stuck his tongue out at you as you looked almost betrayed. Somehow, that made you fired up and more confident. You were going to beat Nishitani and confess to him! 

“W-well, I’m going to ask him on a date too!” “Oho, you’re challenging me?” Nishitani leaned forward, a competitive glint in his eyes. “Exactly, Whoever gets accepted first is the winner.” You told him, head up and straight posture. He laughed, “I like your words, darling.”

It had taken you several hours to brainstorm. But you had finally thought of something..

--

“Out of all the things, you pick Letters?? Boooooring.” “Have any ideas, smart guy?” You rolled your eyes at Nishitani who was lazily drawing scribbles on a piece of paper, his glass of alcohol showing a mark on his paper. “Ah, shit- fuck-” He cursed, having broken yet another crayon.

“I told you, you should have picked the markers instead.” You shake your head, laughing a little. The two of you were at one of the most popular Cabarets in Sotenbori yet the two of you were writing and drawing love letters.

“Why did you pick letters anyway?” The man beside you asked, cutting a choppy heart with a piece of paper. “Letters are a lot more genuine than gifts, you know? It’s heartfelt and simple, but means a lot to both you and to the one you’re sending it to.” You smile and Nishitani stifled his laughter, “Are you still in high school? That sounds so fucking cheesy, I love it.” You tried your best to make yours look neat but due to how nervous you were, the handwriting ended up a little messy. “You send it to him!” You exclaim, shoving the folded note. “Like hell I am!” Nishitani moved back and called for a hostess who so happened to be the same hostess from before.

“Is your manager available right now, pretty lady?” “Yes, actually. He’s at the rooftop and taking a break. Is there anything you need from him?” The hostess answered and blinked when the both of you handed your letters to her. “Can you give us a favor and give ‘im these? You can throw Y/N’s in the trash.” “No, you throw his in the trash!” The hostess grinned and shakes her head before taking them. “I’ll give these to him then, I’ll be back.”

As you waited patiently, playing with your glass, you thought if your letter was good enough. Nishitani looked pretty confident and to be honest? You were starting to lose the fire in you. This was a bad idea. You would just make a fool out of yourself to the guy you like!

“Nishitani, I shouldn’t have given away that letter.” You only got a smack on the back of your head as Nishitani groaned, retreating his hand away, “You dumbass. This was your idea. You gotta suck it up and own up to it.” “That’s not a good thing to say to your friend.” You pout as you rub your head. 

“Still, I don’t think he’ll even look at mine.” The yakuza sighs and pours himself a glass. “If he does, I’ll beat him up. There, does that make you feel better?” “That would just make me feel worse!” You scold but you had a smile on your face, making Nishitani grin, showing his slightly sharp teeth.

A few minutes later, the hostess came back, and much to your surprise, Majima was with her. He looked almost bored as the hostess pulled him in front the both of you. “I wanted Majima-san to personally give them to you!” Majima sighs and watched you sheepishly apologize before he handed back your letters. “Thanks so much, Majima-san!” The hostess looked delighted as the man quickly walked away to another table, almost flustered.

“He’s gonna love my drawing! I’m gonna keep this forever!” Nishitani cackles before he opened his letter with a grin. You then took a deep breath and opened yours, seeing if he said something too.

To Majima-san,

I know that I’m just a customer but I want to say that I like you and I admire you a lot. I have been for a long time, and only now did I got the courage to express my feelings. At first, I thought it was a simple crush but as time passed by, that feeling never went away. In fact, I think I like you a lot more now. Would you mind going out with me at Osaka King sometime?  I completely understand if you don’t like me back and if you don’t want to go out, no matter what happens, I will continue to support you and the staff here in Cabaret Grand as your loyal customer!

“Ah man, he only gave a note about how I sucked at drawing him! That asshole!” Nishitani grumbled, “What about you?” He looked at you only to see that you were practically frozen in your position, staring at the letter with wide eyes. “What?” He blinked and went for a peek. “He said yes..” You gape and cover your mouth, letting him read it as you were too speechless to even do anything.

             -L/N Y/N

Sure, I would love to. What does 10 am tomorrow sound like? : )                                                   - Goro Majima

“The fucker actually did it,” Nishitani mumbled and you looked around for Majima, seeing that he was still in the VIP room. Like he had known you were looking for him, he turned around and the two of you made eye contact. You beamed at him and he smiled, chuckling a bit before he went on his way. You were breathless, holding your cheeks together with bright eyes and a lovestruck smile.

That was a date.

[arysthaeniru]

aAAA the joy of seeing an update on your current favorite fanfic is just aAAA

I always felt that kiwami 1s Nishiki was just a bit too,, I dont know how to describe it; but essentially he just felt off, granted yakuza 1 is a product of its time and therefore the plot is a bit dated and whack as all hell

The way you write Nishiki just feels so much better and realistic; in the original he just seems so uncaring towards Kiryu? which just feels kinda OOC? You'd think he still cares about Kiryu despite it all, especially when you take Yakuza 0 into consideration; and i feel like you portray Nishiki much more accurately

I never thought much about Yumi, because honestly, in the original she was kinda just, there? You actually made her a very interesting person! like I'm actually invested in her in your story! (side note you ever think about her clone who got tortued and died? yeah who WAS that???? thats never brought up is it??)

Theres so much more to talk about but in short; This is the best fix it/rewrite of a game plot I have read to date and it brings me joy in my current stressful school life. and no I will not stop praising it or the author, because this work has made me very happy. ;)

I just have a gift for picking favorites that end up dying,,aand another favorite of mine is Mine

imo theres a lack of soft, reassuring Minedai, i just feel like he'd need a reminder that people love him as a person and not just for the money he can provide, even if its obvious

I'd love to see how you'd write them, but I understand if theres more interesting/appealing drabble requests!

- Carp

CARP, thank you for this <3 this is so sweet!!!!! I’m so happy you enjoy my Nishiki! I had fun playing with what Yakuza 0/the Kiwami additions gave us about Nishiki’s personality and outlook on the world, and trying to reconcile that with the plot that Yakuza 1 initially had. Ultimately, I fell on the side that you did: even if Nishiki’s ambition took him down a monstrous path, I don’t think he’s the sort of person who neglects to pay back his debts. And he’s aware of the huge debt he owes Kiryu. Not to mention, their bonds of trust and love vanishing completely because of jealousy felt unreal to me. Their relationship becoming twisted or strange? Yes, but vanishing entirely felt unsatsifying to me. 

And Yumi!! I had so much fun excavating her character from the clues we get of her in canon. I worry sometimes, that she’s unrecognizable, because you know, I’ve given her a college education, and a whole bunch of interests beyond hostessing alone, but people seem to like it and like her, which is great!! I hate fridging women characters, so keeping her and Reina alive was important to me, hahaha. (RE: fake!Mizuki, there’s this substory in Kiwami that actually addresses who she was, BUT IT’S EVEN MORE HORRIFYING. So that’s why Yumi in my fic is the one captured and tortured by Nishiki’s men, because the thought of this poor innocent woman getting dragged into the mess was just untenable to me.)  

Anyway, thank you for your support and kind words, and I hope you’ll continue to read and that my fic can continue to relieve stress. I--tried to write this about Mine, but Daigo kind of stole the spotlight a little??? I hope you still like it--if not, I will try a ficlet from Mine’s perspective too. I enjoy minedai a lot, but I haven’t had room to think out their dynamic yet, so this took me a while. 

Daigo’s no stranger to being desired. He’s attractive, he knows this—his mother’s beauty lives in his veins, and he’s always had the money to look after himself. Fancy soaps to wash his face, the invisible retainers to keep his teeth straight, fancy suits and skin-tight shirts to show off his frame. For all that Kiryu insists his charisma is something that comes from the soul, Daigo knows it wouldn’t be able to draw the sort of attention he does without being attractive.

Which is to say that Daigo’s not especially thrown off by the intensity of Mine’s gaze. It’s happened before, and it’ll happen again. The thing that surprises him is how much he relishes in being seen by Mine.

Maybe it’s because Mine’s an island in a stormy sea, one of the only yakuza his age who’s sensible and level-headed enough to make it big. Maybe it’s because Mine’s gaze is always so reserved, polite, never overly lusty or overstaying its welcome, and Daigo has so rarely been desired so quietly. Or maybe it’s because Majima and Kashiwagi so clearly disapprove of him—Daigo’s always been something of a rebel, and he hasn’t shaken that off, even now he’s in his thirties and is the arbiter of rules for the Tojo Clan.

Daigo can’t quite put a pin on why he’s so comfortable with Mine’s yearning looks, but he’s never been one to hold back when he wants to indulge in something good. Not exactly a hedonist, not by yakuza standards, but Daigo has never kept himself from enjoying life, in the name of some dubious ‘honour.’

Which is why, in an after-hours meeting with Mine, as they eat cheap takeout sushi together, Daigo takes his chance. A momentary slip, the slightest hint of wasabi left at the corners of Mine’s lips and Daigo swoops in, rubs a thumb over the corner of Mine’s lips. Mine stutters to a stop, mid-sentence through a rundown of the real-estate that the Hakuho Clan’s been purchasing up, and stares at Daigo, eyes bewildered.

“Sixth Chairman?” he asks, his voice still remarkably composed.

“Wasabi.” Daigo says, nonchalantly, as if it’s nothing, and sticks his thumb into his mouth, slowly licking it off with a lingering lave of his tongue. He feels a sharp stab of satisfaction as Mine’s eyes turn darker, and his gaze follows Daigo’s hand down.  

Daigo straightens up, languidly, and cracks his neck, casually. At this point in the day, he’s untucked his shirt, and he knows that a slight strip of his stomach will be visible when he stretches out his arms towards the ceiling. And as predictably as clockwork, Mine’s gaze darts downwards, to that pale expanse, to catch that brief second of skin. Daigo can’t help but feel warm. Something about being watched by Mine is exhilarating.

“Smoke?” offers Daigo, but as usual, Mine refuses, with a polite shake of his head.

Daigo knows from hearsay that Mine’s something a health-freak, so he’s not entirely surprised. It’s already too late for Daigo to preserve his health—he knows that his liver’s already been pretty ruined from long nights of binge-drinking as a youth, and this job’s too stressful to withhold from vices like smoking and drinking, without an optimal end-goal. So he walks over to the window, cracks it open a little, and lights up.

The breath of nicotine curls over his body, a tender caress, and Daigo feels his shoulders drop, as the relaxation hits. He pulls off his cufflinks, tosses them into his pockets and rolls up his sleeves. He takes it slow, runs his fingers over his skin a little more than strictly necessary. Surreptitiously checking the reflection in the window, Daigo watches Mine watch him, and smirks at how intense that gaze is, how Mine’s mouth has opened, and Daigo can just see the soft pink of his tongue.

“Dojima’s just fine, you know. When it’s just us two.” Daigo says, turning over his shoulder. He smiles, one of those charming smiles that had always gotten him whatever he wanted as a child, “We’re same-aged friends, after all.”

“Dojima-san.” Mine acknowledges, after a brief pause.

Daigo turns around, to properly look at Mine and lifts an eyebrow. “Dojima. Or Daigo, preferably. Dojima-san’s always my father in my head.”

Mine nods, face impassive. Daigo can’t read him like this. Maybe that’s why he likes when Mine stares at him, filled with longing. At least then, Daigo feels like he knows him. In moments like these, his implacable gazes might as well be a brick wall. “Right. Your Father was also in the Tojo Clan.”

Daigo smiles, wryly, and blows out a puff of smoke. “One of the most horrible men I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting—and I had to call him Father. But damn if he wasn’t good at the job.” He sighs and stubs the cigarette out against the ashtray. “...sometimes feel like I’m competing with his dead spirit. Everybody’s looking at me and wondering if this is what my Father would do. Or what Kiryu-san would do.”

“You’re doing better than any of them.” Mine says, immediately, with a vicious ferocity that Daigo wasn’t expecting. He can’t quite stop his eyebrows rising in surprise, and Mine straightens upwards, looking self-conscious immediately. Daigo regrets his instinctual reaction, immediately. “That is to say, Dojima, that I think that you’ve pulled this Clan into somewhere far more respectable. From what I’ve heard of your Father, he didn’t have the temperament to do proper business on this level—too insistent on formal obeisance and unable to be flexible as the times require. And Kiryu-san might be very honourable, but we are yakuza. There are certain things you have to do as a Chairman, that he couldn’t bring himself to do. But you are practical and do what is necessary, while also not overstepping into excessive violence. You are uniquely suited for this job, Dojima.”

...he’s taken aback a little, he can’t deny it. Daigo wonders if his cheeks are colouring, wonders if his obvious shock is offputting, wonders if this is how Mine feels every time Daigo teases him lightly about his obvious attraction. A startling warmth spreads through his chest, and Daigo can’t stop the slight smile that touches his face. Has anybody ever said something so unreservedly kind and measured about Daigo before?

Maybe this is the difference between everybody else’s gazes on him, and Mine’s gaze. It’s based on something more than desire alone. Respect.

Daigo runs a hand over his slicked-back hair and ruffles it free, with a rueful smile, a smile that he couldn’t take away from his face, even if he tried. “I appreciate that. You know I couldn’t do it without you, right?”

He’d never really believed himself capable of attraction to a man like Mine. All of his previous childhood crushes had been on bright, cheerful conversational, pure-hearted people. Daigo had always figured they would balance out his sardonic cynicism. He’d never thought someone as reserved and principled as Mine would ever make his heart flutter. But then, there was something about that deep hunger and passion that Daigo craved. Perhaps it was because he was no longer the gloomy punk of his youth. Maybe his tastes have changed towards tall, dark and handsome. Maybe Mine’s just that special.

“Dojima—” Mine says, clearly trying to refute it, but Daigo cuts him off.

“I mean it. Everybody in this fucking Clan wants me to do something or be somebody else. Kashiwagi-san wants me to be my mother. Majima-san wants me to be Kiryu-san. Everybody else expects my Father. But not you. You deal with me honestly, and with candour, and never hold any expectations against me except success. I appreciate your faith in me.” Daigo takes a couple of steps forward, until his shoes almost brush up against Mine’s own. He leans down over Mine’s chair. “I could not do this without your backing and help. Truly. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone like you in my life. A true friend.”

Mine tilts his chin up to meet Daigo’s gaze, a hungry devotion in his eyes, and Daigo, for a moment, wonders if this is wrong. If he should hold back, like Kiryu would. But Daigo is Daigo, and Mine clearly wants him anyway, so he leans down and kisses him.

Mine’s mouth is velvety smooth and wet and hot and it is oh-so satisfying a feeling to put his hand against Mine’s broad neck and feel his warmth up against Daigo. He pulls back, with a satisfied sigh, and feels the burn of wasabi across his lips, a final parting kick.

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

An unpopular opinion

I don't want to be that girl but, I will be that girl. Found a little something on twitter about why the Gazette is different from other bands and I have a few words. It’s not bad seeing sth in a band you see in no other, but, in my opinion (aka you are free to disagree) it’s bad disregarding every other band in their genre just because they don’t fit your taste. And before some sixth gun jumps on me to scratch my eyes out, I’d like to clarify that I am a sixth gun myself who’s shed many many tears during happy or sad moments of the band, like the rest of you. They matter to me, their music matters to me, etc. I’d also like to mention I am well aware of the fact the Gazette is the biggest visual kei name of their generation but hear me out... Below are some of my answers to what I found on twitter and, while I bring examples of bands I happen to listen to (because I don’t know many things for every single band out there (seriously, they are more than 800+ including the disbanded ones) to bring them as an example and I like having something to back my opinions up instead of generalized views), my answers cover bands that I don’t listen to, too, because I am sure they are in the scene for more than a decade for a good reason.

Ruki’s voice. Ruki has one of the most beautiful voices in the scene and one of the strongest. And we also were lucky enough to see its evolution through the years and see it at times it wasn’t at its best and times it was impeccable. The thing is, Ruki is not the only visual kei artist whose voice can resound in a stadium even without mic so it really surprises me when I see fans saying that they know no other person with such a strong voice in the visual kei world. A few examples of such voices (I’ll keep it to guys who are not over 1,68 cm since it was brought up too, compared to ruki’s voice, not that this has anything to do with vocal ability for me) are Ikuma (REIGN), Mahiro (Kiryu), Yo-ka (DIAURA), Haru (DOG inThePWO) and many more.

Uruha’s & Aoi’s chemistry on stage and guitar-wise. If you are a musician maybe you know more than me to correct me but whether two people complement each other or not is reaaaally a matter of taste for most of us. Personally I see Uruha’s & Aoi’s chemistry on stage, but becoming one, musically, not much. Mostly because Uruha, as lead guitar, has his guitar louder? It’s easier to hear Uruha than Aoi, especially the last few years and I don’t know if it’s the dvd or they really have Aoi’s guitar set that low. In the past, both guitars could be heard quite loudly but I don’t hear it much now. If you’ve been to their lives it will probably look, sound and feel different, but with a critical eye on a dvd, I can no longer see that much. But guitar duos who often play as one are a thing in the visual kei world, a few examples again: Mitsuki & Takemasa (Kiryu), Hiroto & Tora (Alice Nine), Kili & Peco (ex. AND eccentric agent).

Changing style but staying true to yourself is also a big thing in the visual kei world but the problem is some fans didn’t stay enough to see it. An example could be Alice Nine, who, after leaving PSC I believe, did lose a few fans due to expirementing with new stuff, but they recently brought back their old name, explaining their roots’ significance to them and that nothing has changed, which was evident even during their expirementation. Not all their fans stayed around enough to see that these guys are still the same. They changed looks, tried different music but they are still the same people. But then again Gazette lost some fans during their TOXIC era too (which album I personally like a lot), but were lucky to have enough fans to bring those gone, back when new stuff came out. I think they had several complaints with Malformed Box too. Anyway, another band who has not changed is DIAURA. Have you seen them live? Yes Yo-ka might be standing out a bit more than the rest, whereas, as some might argue, in the Gazette’s case every single one is standing out, but that doesn’t make other musicians less unique. Staying true to yourself is a thing several of them visual kei artists have been doing and still do, but it goes unnoticed, because it usually doesn’t happen alongside the rest of the band. Other bands that have managed to draw attention on every single member are Kiryu and Screw, the latter of which unfortunately didn’t go on.

And the last thing that really got me is those people who say the Gazette don’t just have fun on stage, they live it, they feel it, it is their home etc. Not because it’s not true, let’s be real, the passion is on and contagious and they love being on stage, it’s part of them, but stating that this makes the Gazette different from other bands makes me furious. Because most band members who’ve been on those stages for over 10 years sure could have given up and have a normal job, unlike other countries, Japan gives chances to people to work even with just their Lycium paper, but they didn’t. I’ve seen so many musicians have huge ass emotional breakdowns the past 7 years and disregarding those people because you never even cared to listen to them, or you did but didn’t click for you makes me furious. So many people considered suicide because they wanted nothing but that fucking stage (and mind you, they are talented) and the ability to express themselves, make music not just for them but for others too, people who want to save people, people who lost so much or have nth else to give them joy but that very stage...you cannot tell me those people don’t LIVE up there. Ikuma’s spine is not doing well and he still goes on that stage until his body gives in. Remember that video that Kai collapses backstage with his hands in a bucket of ice. That. Almost every day. Ikuma sometimes can barely walk after lives, his body grows numb but he keeps pushing himself because he loves it so much he doesn’t care what will happen to him. Do I think that’s cool? No, there are times his fans beg for him to take it easy but he won’t. When shit came up in his fanbase he handled it himself. He refuses to give his rights to a company because of how companies screwed his previous band. You want another example? Yo-ka. Yo-ka is also a person whose entire body goes on frenzy on stage, who collapses often because of it and who laughs at its fuckin face due to how much he loves the stage. I am sure you have heard many bands say “Let’s die on stage“. Some mean it. Some won’t drop it until they can’t stand. Because they live for that moment. For the excstasy of that moment. Another example, of someone who doesn’t drive himself numb on stage but just can’t give up is Kamijo. Kamijo becomes one with the stage and his emotions while performing. Versailles members have mentioned before that Kamijo gets lost in his emotions on stage often, which was what lead to the many falls he’s had live. Dude must literally feel like flying on there. Another one...Chiaki of DEZERT. Actually it was that very passion of this guy on stage that made me check them out. When I look for favorite bands I look for soul and the bands I have chosen so far, even after disbanding, most of them are still around. No I am not flexing, I am just stating how hard it is for some people in the scene to give up all this, even though it’s hard on their daily life and sometimes even health. When I saw Chiaki on Yoshiki’s Visual Japan Summit, I was enchanted right away and I wondered why they don’t upload more of their live videos. I had never even wished to give a listen to their music before that. They don’t have extravagant looks to stand out in this sea of countless bands, but they sure have powerful performance and amazing music. And another thing I’d like to mention about passion and life on stage is the tears. I don’t know who’s fake or not but when I see someone cry on stage I know it means sth to them. Ryoga of Razor when he announced Born’s disbandment, K of BORN, Kazuki of Screw, Rui of Articlear, Ikuma of REIGN, Peco (ex. AND) and the list goes on. You want to argue some are more sensitive than others? Fine. Tora of Alice Nine went on stage on a wheelchair because he refused to lose a live because he was hurt. Tomo of Vistlip rushed to get back on stage after his lung operation so the band decided to go on hiatus all together to support him and show him they will wait until he is ready so that he didn’t feel he was holding them back. I can bring up so many things so...before you say which band lives for that stage, give a wider look around you.

Each band and each band member is unique. Saying that this is not true because you can’t see it and your heart found shelter in one band is a choice. The Gazette too have gone through some real shit. From broken bones, to arguments with each other, with their company, having stuff stolen from them, defamation, struggling to put their name out there etc. But the Gazette made it. Hard work was one, yes, but luck was big part of it too, and signing with the right company at the right time. I think even one of them once said it, sth like “we just happened to be lucky back then”, I think it was Ruki who said it. One moment can change a person’s life dramatically and from then on, other factors that need work every single day. You can say they combine all of those things I mentioned above and that is what makes them unique, but we’d still agree to disagree. And as for chemistry, it is hard to find such thing among so many ideals. The Gazette still have their rough moments because of that. Did you read the interviews around the time the Ninth was released? Even after so long, Ruki said he feels like he doesn’t have friends and that the time after their 15th anniversary show was tough on him. The other members of course believed in him so they didn’t sound worried in their interviews on the matter but they knew how he felt. Aoi also mentioned that none of his songs made the cut for Ninth. All this, of course turned around again, as we all saw in later interviews but I can still remember how worried I was after reading this stuff and realized how fragile can chemistry among people be, even after years and years together.

Some musicians have found a team they could work with and others still try. Please don't cancel out musicians who just haven't found their team yet or worse, lost it during a heated moment. I am sorry if anyone felt insulted but....i am tired of this. Some of you think that other bands have it easy or only care about spotlight and girls but honestly...there is still more than that behind the scenes. I am not saying there aren’t shallow ones out there, but some still give their soul for all this. The vkei scene is dark and difficult and things keep going on with everyone. No one has it easy. Some lose themselves, become shadows of their former selves. I fear that for my favorite bands every day. I have found shelter in 64 vkei musicians, each one for a different reason, and I am proud of them. Whether they went big or not, whether they chose to start their life over or not (cause that’s another struggle on its own, starting over)...these people keep me alive or did keep me alive for as long as they chose to share their dream with us and I owe them big time. And I am sure there are fans out there who found their shelter in smaller bands and they are proud of them too. So...in case you feel shouting to their world you are proud of your favorite bands, do it without cancelling out others. Scream why that band is precious to you, not why it’s precious compared to other bands. Cause the latter is largely a matter of taste. I mean yeah, you do you, I can’t tell you what to do but you know...basic kindness? call it what you may.

[temris]

My "Yakuza 0" Experience

(Started writing this around February 28 of this year, but finishing and editing around April 14, 2021. Second editing around May 7, 2021. My opinions may have changed over the passing time and I might have forgot some stuff!) 

By all means, I've never been very good at video games. I don't think I've ever even finished any Super Mario games (well, I've mostly played them when I was very young, and on bootleg gaming consoles but still) and almost burst into tears trying to beat Chill Penguin in Megaman X. But I always loved the challenge, just not the level that's present on the first Castlevania. 

I don't remember when I first stumbled upon the Yakuza franchise. There is a big chance of me seeing memes about it on Instagram since a lot of JoJo fans also love these games – understandably so. (I have very clear memories of a JoJo meme page, that had turned into a Yakuza page, saying that they weren't interested in JoJo that much anymore) It has always been one of those games I wanted to get my hands on but I knew it was going to be long wait for that. The PC I've used since 2008 was barely holding onto its life by around 2017 when I first got into JoJo. 

Generally, the way I even considered looking into getting a game went along like this: 

1. Is it a visual novel?

If so, chances were that the PC could probably handle it, since most of them wouldn't have fancy, over the top animations. With a 2 GB graphics card, I don't remember having any issues with any of the visual novel games I've played throughout the years. 

2. If it isn't, when was it released?

I wouldn't even glance at a game released after 2010. Most of the requirements were probably going to be way too high. 

If PC barely met the minimum requirements, I'd just give it a try anyway if I REAAALLLY wanted to play it. 

So, Yakuza was, of course, way too over the top in my head. And me being scared of not being able to play fighting games, I just left a notice on my brain to look for it again when I (if I) could get a newer computer. 

When I did get a proper one though, I completely forgot about playing all those games I couldn't play; I have been busy with editing videos, drawing and writing for my webtoon, learning two languages, trying to reread Crime and Punishment (for the third or fourth time) in between those mental deadlines. I don't remember what exactly it was that reminded me of those games I always wanted to play. Could be a video I got recommended on Youtube – titled "Kiryu is a goddamn pure boi". (One of the reasons why I always wanted to check the games out was the series' main character.) I thought, "Hold on, I may be able to play it now?!" 

To my luck, there was a year-end sale going on Steam for many SEGA games and I bought Yakuza 0 in a heartbeat. Thinking now, I probably should've bought Kiwami 1 & 2 as well, but like I mentioned, I had this fear of playing any game with a fighting concept going on. The anxiety of playing it really badly is so deeply integrated into my brain that I played it on EASY mode. Yes. So believe me when I say I am not good at video games. 

Boy, did I love the game. 

It's been so long since I've hyper fixated on a new media... until playing Yakuza 0. There is A LOT I want to talk about. 

First of all: Let's talk about the gaming mechanics. 

This game... may have given me the confidence I needed to branch on other genres of gaming than turn based J-RPGs I've always played other than visual novels. Punching dudes has never been any more satisfying than this.

Also, having two playable characters works super nice for this game!

Both protagonists sport three different styles: Two similar ones [Brawler and Thug for street fighting(?) moves; Rush and Breaker for quick, evasive fighting] and a third one that differentiates accordingly. Kiryu's got Beast, Majima has Slugger. 

It took me a while to get used to the moves early in the game and it took another while to get introduced to the other styles so I, of course, couldn't adapt to them quickly. You can't pick up objects using Rush style, so I didn't use it that much, unless I was surrounded by around 50 people waiting to beat me to death (that part in Tojo HQ). Beast style though, it quickly became my favorite out of them all - even more than Dragon of Dojima style, just because I can pick up a motorcycle and a sofa. (Although... I'm still playing Premium Adventure, trying out new heat actions I couldn’t perform during my story playthrough so maybe it is possible? EDIT: I've stopped playing but there are some special items only pickable in Beast style.) Brawler style's got very fun abilities and heat actions combined with various weapons though. 

For Majima, it was just Slugger style for me throughout my playthrough. I don't think I've used Thug style after I learnt Slugger, except a couple of times where I needed to get that achievement for Completion Points and Komaki's training. It was just so much fun doing that A/A/Y/Y/Y/Y... combo and knocking out three enemies at once in mere seconds. 

I've also been feeling guilty about ignoring the Breaker style during playing the story. I'm not kidding when I say I ignored it: I remember finishing the other styles' master moves, spending at least 2 billion yen on each of them (maybe more) and then I noticed that I've only spent 400k yen on Breaker when I had finished the story. I'm really sad because BREAKER STYLE IS ACTUALLY AWESOME! It is SO MUCH FUN to watch as Majima spins on his head with his tall legs wide open on both sides, knocking down his enemies in such absurd manner, only to finish it with a pose any JoJo character would envy. And that heat action you can do while standing between two enemies is super easy to achieve, and very useful! Not to mention that bomb ass music to go along with it. (I can already hear Majima's "YAHOO!" in my head…)

Since it was my first time playing a Yakuza game, I guess I was just too excited to see how the story ended and I acted too much on impulse. I completely ignored the real estate stuff, thinking it was only to get some more money. (I remember thinking something like, "Eh, I got so much money anyway, I'll do this when I need some cash.") But when it switched to Majima and his minigame was the cabaret club, I finished that storyline before I continued with the story and only then I realized that you could get the Legend styles! I don't know why but even after knowing that I still didn't continue with the real estate. Perhaps it was unplayable in the story after that, or perhaps I have felt that the story was so serious that I couldn’t do it? (I have a stupid thought chain like that, so I think it's possible.) 

I finished the Real Estate Royale in Premium Adventure and got the Dragon style but... I don't know. The heat actions are cool but maybe just because I didn't stay long enough in 0 to max out the Dragon style (besides, I couldn't compile enough CP to get the Limit Breaker so it was impossible for me) there wasn't much to it? (EDIT: I finished Kiwami a few days ago and even there I didn't use Dragon that much, but I'll talk about that in my Kiwami review I'm planning on 😉) The moves feel sluggish for me... And it's not fun when you keep getting hit just to do some heat action... But maybe it's just because my skills aren't that great, because all I've been seeing about Dragon style on social media is just compliments!! So it makes me really curious how people use it so effortlessly. 

Majima's Mad Dog style was the same for me: I only used it to get some CP points. The heat actions are cool again but it was hard for me to control it properly. And like I said previously, it was ALL and I mean AAALLLL Slugger style for me, so... 

Recently (EDIT: I mean after I started Premium Adventure.) I've been trying out weapons I haven't used and there are so many great, absurdly satisfying weaponry usable. My favorites so far: Frozen sardines that you can use like nunchakus, proton blade prototype (what can I say? I'm a sucker for Star Wars), bowling ball, and most importantly, the marlin cannon. 

My favorite heat actions to use have been these so far:

• The usual one where you punch your enemy on a wall, then pushing their head onto the wall (Kiryu tightening his fingers on their face is great.)

• The one where you grab your enemy, bring it next to a car and then push his head on the car (and with some QTE, you can make it do even more damage)

• I think this one works in Beast style? You bring your enemy next to a car again, but this time Kiryu puts the enemy's head between the door and the car frame, slamming the door with his foot. Of course, Kazuma Kiryu has never killed anyone.

• Beast style, where you grab your enemy and throw it on other enemies, knocking them all down at once.

• Beast style again, watching Kiryu drop a whole motorcycle on a human with his goofy face and then jump on top of it.

• Legend style heat actions are pretty cool for both Kiryu and Majima (the latter being more fun to watch admittingly, and how he can KO three enemies at once).

• The nunchaku heat action where he chokes the enemy with it.

• When you have your back on a wall, and then crack the enemy's leg bone.

• When Kiryu gets knocked down, and performs the heat action while he's getting up, jumping on the enemy, throwing them down. It's beautiful to hear him shout, "yAROOOuuu" as well.

• Majima's heat action where he sits on the enemy (wow, that sounds wrong) and punches them several times.

• Throwing your enemy down the river on the bridge and see Majima's dumb face between his legs standing in a theatrical way.

• Breaker style heat action where Majima bites on the swords. Haven't had the chance to actually perform it during a fight (only done so during training so far) but it was really fun to see it. 

Story 

I feel like this part would spark up some controversy, because as much as I liked the gameplay, the story was somehow not as perfect as some say it to be. This is all my opinion though, and I am not trying to change yours!

In my perspective, it's about Kiryu learning to know himself through seeing all these things happening to the people around him and where they take him to. He forms an ideal inside his mind to follow through his life and becomes a person that is special to himself, apart from his idols ex. Kazama-san. On Majima's side I guess it would be okay to say that his storyline is about how he came to become the Mad Dog of Shimano we see in the first Yakuza game.

I wanted to think that what drove Majima into madness was how he was a pawn passed through multiple people in 0. But then I think to myself, he didn't get mad but more like, he decided to put on a mask? Like letting himself go but instead it is a cover to protect himself from hurting more? I don't know how to explain it properly.

But the story acts like it’s trying to make me believe that there was a spark of romance between Makoto and Majima. The Dojima guys hurting Makoto (the person "he loves") makes him go "mad". I'd love to hear that this is my misinterpretation though, because this is what I mostly didn't like about the story of 0. 

Because it reminds me of the trope Stuffed into the Fridge.

While it is great that Makoto isn’t just a character to make Majima act forward, it was the point in which, like I said previously, made Majima go mad. This kind of story has been done so many times that it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I see it now. In the end, it’s just my personal preference, I guess.

Makoto's actions towards the Dojima dudes was so stupid that it was so annoying to see a character I wanted to like act that idiotic. She was a courageous person, for sure, but it’s really unbelievable she would ask a family head to dispose of three separate individuals for sake of a small area. It’s so… I don’t know man.

Also, even after all that shitshow, why in the world would Majima return to his family?? I DON'T GET IT!! He shouldn't need to carry that ugly ass annoying Shimano's name with him ;_;

Maybe that was why I liked the side of Kiryu’s story more. He learnt that being a yakuza wasn’t like what he imagined as a high schooler: It’s not cool, it’s not pretty. Most importantly, it will hurt lots of people.

The city of Kamurocho and Sotenbori

There were lots of things to do in both cities, I never got bored for sure!

My favorite minigame has been, of course, the disco minigame! We need a RGG Dancing Game asap!! My favorite song to dance to was Koi no Disco Queen, just like Nishikiyama ;)

The Pocket Circuit was also surprisingly very fun! Btw, Pocket Circuit Fighter is the icon of Kamurocho.

I usually don't like waiting but somehow the fishing was also enjoyable… except that one time I had to fish for an hour to complete a substory, only to realize I was fishing on the wrong side of the river.

Favorite karaoke song? 24 Hour Cinderella!

Before I conclude this "review", I want to say that what makes this game such an experience is those substories. Most of them are silly, weird and so funny that it lets you see different sides and moments of the protagonists and some very memorable characters (Obatarian for example). The Cabaret Club Czar storyline (isn't exactly what you'd call a substory but you get me) had some of the best stuff from Majima! His interactions with the hostesses were so enjoyable to see. Likewise, Real Estate Royale Kiryu and his assistant manager's chemistry… also… Kiryu with glasses… I don't need to say much. He's perfect.

Conclusion

I'm just writing this to have something to look back on in the future when I want to remember the feelings, the thoughts I had while playing this game. It was really fun, and it will probably have a special place in my heart for being the first game I played in the Yakuza series.

[cherry-kirsch]

and, together, we sat watching the rain

sawa/sento || 2586 words || sfw || introspection

The rain has a habit of dissolving the parts of yourself that you'd rather hide. Sawa and Sento figure this out first hand. 

[ AO3 ]

Sento finds Sawa sitting underneath a tin bus-shelter, watching the rain fall gently from the sky like tears, and she doesn’t acknowledge him when he takes a place beside her and watches her. She just continues to stare up at the grey sky, her hands clasped together on her lap.

“What are you doing?” Sento asks her after a while, and, still, she does not turn. “Isn’t it cold?” He asks again, and this time she shrugs.

“I’m not.” She says. “You can go back to Nascita if you’re cold.”

Sento tries not to take her reply personally and settles more comfortably into the wooden bench, mimicking her clasped-hand pose as he stares up into the sky with her. He wonders what she sees in amongst the grey, stormy clouds and cool rain, and he wonders if it’s something that only has meaning to her, maybe he could see it too if he looked close enough. Yet, Sawa just seems to be scanning the sky, her eyes drifting across the expanse carefully, as if this is the last chance she’ll have to see the rain again.

She sighs gently, and crosses her ankles. “I love the rain.” She says and Sento looks to her. “It reminds me of poetry.”

“Poetry?” Sento asks, brow raised.

“Yes.” She says with a small nod. “One specific verse. And my own; I only used to write poetry about rain.”

Sento nods, not quite sure what to say, and Sawa turns back fully to the sky, her shoulders relaxing as she inhales and exhales the earthy air around them. It envelops everything in a rich scent that’s comforting to breath, it makes Sento feel warm and happy, and he thinks that maybe he could fall asleep right there—to the sound of the rain pattering gently on the tin roof like gravel on a window, and the smell of the earth covering him like a warm comfort blanket.

And he’s tired, he realizes. So, tired.

He’s tired of being Build, he’s tired of being cooped up inside his basement in Nascita working on things that aren’t really his, he’s tired of not knowing who he is, he’s tired of seeing Misora miserable about not being able to go outside (it feels him with a sense of guilt and melancholy that he can’t quite place), and he’s tired of not knowing who he can trust. He’s tired of being paranoid and afraid. He’s tired of being Kiryu Sento.

And it’s a miserable thing to be tired of being yourself.

So, instead, he turns to Sawa. “What was your poetry like?” He asks her and she pauses, lips parted in surprise for a moment before she begins to breathe again.

Sawa shrugs, smiles up at the sky. “It wasn’t very good, and it was nothing like the writers I was trying to mimic.” She says, waving a hand off-handedly. “It romanticized the rain, it was about new beginnings and how beautiful it made the world through jewel-like droplets and dusk-skies.” She continues softly, and Sento thinks her voice sounds like the rain, really. “It was never any good. So, I stuck to journalism. It’s what I’m best at.”

“I think your poetry sounds beautiful,” Sento says, and he shocks even himself when he allows the words to pass his lips, startling Sawa into turning to him with wide eyes. “I could never write poetry. I wouldn’t know where to start, or what to write about, or if my words would even want to heard in this world.” He adds, the words falling from his lips like an avalanche of snow, blanketing the distance between them. “Scientific paper make more sense. I know where to start. And I know my words need to heard because there’s an ‘Important’ stamped on the front of the envelope in block capitals and red ink.”

Sawa looks at him for a moment with an unreadable expression in her eyes. “The thing about poetry is that you don’t really care about whether your words want to be heard, you just say them anyway.” She says and then she turns back to the sky. “That’s the beauty of it.”

“I see.” Sento says, settling back into his bench. But he doesn’t. He pretends for Sawa, so it will seem like someone understands; because he knows how much it hurts to have someone not understand. And he tries again. “What verse does the rain remind you of?” He asks her.

Sawa doesn’t answer, but scans the sky as if searching for something, and, when the sky lights up with faint lightning and a clap of thunder, she smiles, wide and childlike and then she turns to Sento, staring at him so seriously he’s afraid for a moment, though he knows he shouldn’t be.

“A faint clap of thunder,” She says and Sento quickly realizes she’s reciting something, words he remembers, the poem coming back to him in a flurry of realization. “Clouded skies. Perhaps rain will come. If so, will you stay here with me?”

Sento nods. “I will.” He says and Sawa takes one look at his serious expression and laughs, loudly and bell-like. It sounds nice. Sento realizes he likes the sound of Sawa’s laugh.

“You’re not meant to answer,” she says, as if he doesn’t understand. “It’s a Tanka.” She explains.

He nods again. “I know.” He says and Sawa seems to stop in her path, her lips parting and her eyes widening in surprise. “But I will stay here with you, if you’d like that.” He finishes and she stares at him a moment longer.

“I… would like that.” She tells him softly, and Sento nods once more, his heart singing in his chest as Sawa shuffles a little bit closer to him before gazing back up into the sky.

His eyes trail over her carefully, looking out for any signs of distress or injury. He sees wavy chestnut hair, the deep, beautiful color of her eyes that look almost golden in the faint light, her pale blue sweater and skirt and knee high boots—and he notices that her shoulders as shaking, from what he doesn’t know, but he peels off his jacket and thrusts it in her direction. She leans back at the sudden movement and stares at it as he holds it out to her.

She blinks up at him. “Sento…?” She asks and Sento flushes, turns away as he places the jacket in her lap.

“You’ll get cold.” He says, suddenly finding the tress across from them extremely interesting. “Just wear it, I’ll be fine.”

Sawa doesn’t say anything and Sento doesn’t look back as he hears the fabric rustle, the sound of her sitting up so she can tuck the bottom of her jacket under her and sit down without it all bunching up behind her. Then, she tugs his sleeve, and, though he braces himself before he turns, nothing could prepare him for the sight of Sawa in his jacket.

She looks small in it, like it’s drowning her or she’s being swaddled in it like an infant, and Sento can’t ignore the way his heart leaps in his chest when she pushes the sleeve back to her wrist so she could tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear and the sleeve completely engulfs her hand again when she lowers it to her lap.

Sento realizes he must look floored because Sawa gives him an almost bashful smile.

“Thank you.” She tells him gently. “I was getting cold. I just didn’t want to say since you asked earlier.”

Taking the opportunity to divert his eyes away from how gorgeously adorable Sawa looks, he feigns irritation, turning from her with an exaggerated sigh. “You should’ve said,” he scolds halfheartedly. “Then I would’ve given you it sooner. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold.”

He can almost feel Sawa’s sunny smile as he stares up at the sky. Then he hears a small inhale and Sawa’s quiet voice saying, “It smells nice.” And his heart practically stops.

“I-It shouldn’t.” He says, hoping and praying that she doesn’t notice his slight stutter (She does.) as he flounders to make it look like he wasn’t having a minor heart attack over Sawa in his jacket. “I wore that to the lab. It’s probably covered in dangerous chemicals and other nasty stuff.”

Sawa giggles into his sleeve. “Nothing bad has happened to me yet.” She says indignantly.

“It will!” He says, his voice raising an octave higher than he’d like as he turns to her with his arms outstretched. “In fact; give it back! Before you get bad chemical burns and your skin starts flaking off! Or you turn green or something!” He continues.

Sawa replies by pouting at him and burrowing herself further into the jacket, lifting one side so it covers the lower half of her face. “No!” She protests. “It’s warm. I don’t care if I turn green.”

He leans closer to her as he begins to tug at the right side of the jacket. “What about chemical burns?” He asks and Sawa sticks out her tongue childishly, so unlike her, her face almost touching his.

“Don’t care!” She replies, shuffling back against the wall of the bus shelter as Sento shuffles closer.

“You’re acting like a child.” Sento points out, frowning as he grips the jacket. “How very unprofessional.”

“You’re acting like a child too.” Sawa chirps back happily. “How very hypocritical!”

Sento sighs. “You’re improbable.” He says.

“Nothing is improbable.” Sawa says, and Sento is suddenly very aware of how her breath fans warmly on his cheek, and how he’s almost curled over her, his hand propped on the wall behind her, effectively pinning her into the tiny corner of the bus shelter—and he’s very aware that his eyes shouldn’t be darting down to Sawa’s lips.

He sucks in a shaky breath. “Really?” he asks and Sawa nods jerkily. “What is probable, then?” He asks.

Sawa takes a sharp in-take of earthy air. “A rainbow after the rain. Cicadas in summer. You and Banjou defeating Faust. Snow in winter.” She pauses for a moment, looks down at Sento’s lips as he draws just a little bit closer. “Sochi’s coffee forever tasting terrible. The sun breaking through the clouds. The… way…”

Her words trail off as Sento leans forward gently and presses his lips gently against hers.

All at once, the rain surges to a deafening volume, filling his ears and every part of his body as he breathes in Sawa and kisses her so gently, as if she could break beneath the cushion of his lips. Slowly, her hands move up over his arms and around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair as she pulls herself closer to him, and gasps in a breath around his lips before pressing herself firmly against him.

Sento pulls back from the wall, his hands curling around Sawa’s waist instead of the cold metal of the bus shelter, as he takes her with him and allows his fingers to splay over her hips before one of his hands go up to cup her cheek, smooth her hair away from her face and hold her as if she was made of precious stones and glass.

Then, she pulls back and she stares at him, her eyes scanning his for any sign of regret or panic as she asks, carefully, “Sento?”, and it sounds like she’s afraid. And he is too.

But he’s so tired—too tired of being afraid. He doesn’t want to be afraid anymore.

So, he cups her face gently, takes in a deep breath of rain-filled air, and prepares himself for his next words. “A faint clap of thunder,” he begins and Sawa’s eyes widen as she stills completely underneath his fingers. “Even if rain comes not, I will stay here, together with you.”

She gasps gently, her hands finding his face in a flurry of careful touches. “I-I… thought that you didn’t know that Tanka!” She says in happy confusion. “How did you know it?”

Sento shrugs. “You reminded me.” He says simply and Sawa stares at him.

“How do you feel?” She asks and the last three words – ‘about the kiss’ – hangs wordlessly between them.

Sento presses his forehead gently against hers, pulls back to leave a small kiss there; barely a brush of his lips, and Sawa leans into his touch. “One of the best decisions I ever made.” He murmurs into her skin. “Up there with becoming Build.”

She gives him a happy, curious smile. “Really?” She asks.

“Really.” He affirms with a nod. “How do you feel?” he asks.

Sawa bites her lip, allows a sliver of fear allow to peek out from her eyes. “Afraid.” She replies softly, like rain and pulling back the covers on a freshly made bed; afraid to make a mess of everything. “Aren’t you?”

He strokes his thumb over her cheek. “I’m tired of being afraid.” He tells her. “This is the one thing I’m not afraid about. I won’t let myself become afraid by it. I like you, Sawa.” He says, the words coming from an unspoken recess of his mind, and it feels like a pressure being lifted from his chest and a plaster being ripped off at the same time, and it stings slightly as Sawa stares up at him with wide eyes.

He holds her as she looks down, squeezes her eyes shut and leans fully into him, his hand slipping from her face to wrap around her body and hold her close. She clutches at the front of his sweater desperately and he strokes her hair as she tries not to cry on him, as his heart sinks, his eyes squeezing shut as he realizes that this was all a big mistake. Maybe he read her wrong, maybe Sawa doesn’t like him like he likes her. Maybe this was all hopeless from the beginning.

And, then, finally; “I like you too, Sento.”

Sento lets out a sigh of relief and holds her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he rocks her back and forth, listening to her breathe in sharply as if preparing herself to say something that pains her, and then she does. “I don’t want to be afraid.” Her voice comes, muffled by his sweater. “But I’m so afraid.”

He clutches her close and strokes her hair and rubs her back soothingly. “It’s okay.” He says. “You can be afraid. What are you afraid of?” He asks.

“What this means.” She says shakily. “And what this changes.”

“It doesn’t change anything if you don’t want it to.” Sento tells her truthfully and Sawa nods into his chest.

She clutches him tighter. “I need time.” She says. “For this.”

“As much as you need.” Sento assures her, and, consoled, Sawa buries herself into Sento’s sweater to calm herself down.

Sento holds her against his chest underneath a bus shelter in the falling rain, and he watches as the sun peaks through the clouds—a bright sliver of hope through the darkness of the clouds, and he promises her time. All the time in the world. As much as she wants to think and compute and become less afraid, because he loves her, and you’d give anything to the ones you loved, even if it killed you in the end.

He holds her and tries not to think about how he probably doesn’t have much time left.

[todayisafridaynight]

THEY TURNED OUT AMAZING I'M JUST SAD TO HAVE MISSED OUT </3 I knew I'd miss a stream sooner or later but still... owwie... However, that meant I got to be pleasantly surprised (<- understatement) by the pose you chose for Jo CHRIST ☠️ Unbuttoning his shirt does pass for a Slut Moment when it comes to him though I can't lie...

And OBVIOUSLY. AS YOU CAN SEE. I love the Arakawa <33 the red background fucks soooo hard with the blood... definitely my new favorite screenshot as well... SO EXCITED to see Mellow Sawashiro and Sicko Arakawa... they saw us saying he was too wholesome to be menacing and this was their answer... hope you don't mind me using it as my icon btw I know you used to say in your about it was fine to do whatever with credit... but you don't anymore... so I'll get rid of it if you want, sorry for not asking in advance!

Anyway crying at this recreation of The Last Supper I can't claim to know the significance of any of it but Jo and Kiryu (Joryu... if you will...) look so fucking GOOFY not to mention ANY OF THE REST

fomo is real and it's out there.. can't attend EVERY stream- truly is funny that tihis instance i actually got stuff done LMAO oops. BUT there's always next time :) where hopefully ill finish something again <:) OH BUT YEAH LMAO i was going to be boring at first and just do a headshot but i wanted to try and explore the like. .2% more Not Clinically Depressed energy he was givin so... skank behavior 😔

IM GLAD YOU LIKED THE ARAKAWA THO i actually ended up redoing the lineart after stream... i was so particular bout how i wanted it to look and even now im still scratchin my chin on how i coulda done some things BUT IT'S COOL I'MA LEAVE IT. rgg found me talkin shit and wanted to retaliate with murderous arakawa but little did they know thats all i wanted !!!!!!! FOOLS. im so excited... finally got the chance to draw arakawa murderous after a year of wanting to do so..

OH AND OFC id be more than honored to let you use it as a pfp ♪(´▽｀) !! i coulda sworn i DID have that in my bio but i guess i deleted it by accident: time to add it again lol

the last supper recreation's SUUCH a cute pic, and even if kiryu's Presumably tellin sawashiro to cool it, it's nice seein jo in a Vaguely Casual setting for once (❁´◡`❁) he's not healing i think he's getting worse but for now i'll believe he's healing (❁´◡`❁)