#AND literally all my other comfort characters !!!!
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How do you feel about the fandom?
I’m assuming you mean Ut/utmv?
How can I say this in the most gentle way possible hmm..
I genuinely do love the creativity within the fandom, the beautiful art and stories and ideas people come up with, the different interpretations of these characters even when i don’t agree with them or have my own thoughts/opinions, cause that’s what fandoms are supposed to, it’s all of us showing our love for these lil blorbos of ours in each of our own unique different ways
Of course, each fandom has its good and bad side, but to say the ut/utmv fandom is so damn negative to the point it’s suffocating is an understatement
I’m especially weirded out by the pro harassment behavior within this fandom, like, a mf would say “i’m anti harassment!!!!” Then turn around and post/reblog a post with +20 people name dropped to “raise awareness” for whatever little that is worth, you can “raise awareness” by messaging people privately, not make a list where an asshole can easily use it to harass people, and no, saying shit like “don’t harass these people!!!” Does not alleviate any responsibility from you if they do get harassed because of your post
That’s why messages are a thing, and only messaging those who explicitly state they want to be messaged, not jump in into people’s inboxes or messages and telling them shit out of the blue
So many people within this fandom need to learn fandom etiquette, how to mind their own business, and to use the damn block button, you’re uncomfortable with a certain subject? Tumblr has the most handy filtering system, don’t like a person/find them uncomfortable? Block them, blocking them isn’t enough and want to complain? That is what you can use your blog for, feel free to complain on your own blog to your heart’s content (not on other people’s blogs or under their posts if it’s not the subject for it) that’s what friends are for too, go to their DMs and complain till the end of time
Being just a bit bigger of an artist follower wise in comparison to other artists means that I deal with very special cases sometimes, because I’m also puzzled by the way people can get super comfortable with commanding strangers to do things they want or to break basic respectful boundaries like not getting people involved in drama even when they specifically state not to include them (me, I’m starngers, every time I reblog my boundaries post, it’s me implying that I got something that broke my very basic bitch boundaries that day, which says a lot about the fandom, cause i literally only got 4 boundaries stated damn)
That’s why I opt to not get too close to people within the fandom, and am generally careful as to who I let close to me, I’m very certain people might think I somehow have my own social circle within the fandom or have some wide connections they can never get, when in reality I’m isolated af
That being said, idk if it’s young people not knowing any better, or adults who act like children, but the fact harassment is very prominent and also very normalized within the fandom is something that definitely made me seriously think of just getting back to the Transformers fandom (one of the most chill fandoms i’ve ever been part of)
Fandom is fandom, keep it for rambling about blorbos, and learn to mind your own business <3
#rescue bot fandom…. my beloved oh my sweat baby i love you#this is the only post I’m making about the fandom btw#said what i said#won’t backdown or negotiate#post done go home /lh#fandom negativity#anothers ask
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Jane Espenson writing the majority of Spike episodes where he shows positive character growth, the fact that Spike is the antithsis of Angel and that Joss Wheadon hated his popularity can not be by coincidence.
I know I'm connecting a lot of dots with this one (that have probably been connected before), but she quiet literally wrote the episode where he is reintroduced in season 4 with "Harsh Light of Day", where he becomes part of the Scoobies with "Pangs", "Doomed" and "A New Man".
Then later on in Season 5 saved his character with the masterful "Intervention" where in the same episode she writes Spike creating the sexbot he also shows his worth by being tortured (where we see him being penetrated) and not breaking.
In the season 6 episode she wrote "After Life" where we see Spike's trauma of Buffy dying and how he is literally the only Scoobie to be able to look after her after being resurrected, as he himself has gone through the trauma of dying then digging out of his own grave. Also in this episode we see that he has now taken the mantel of Dawn's supernatural protector, out of surviors guilt from the events of the season 5 finale, and then later on how those events have haunted him every night. Jane then wrote Spike to be the only person in Doublemeat Palace to offer Buffy a way out of working there.
Season 7 Jane co-wrote the highly acclaimed "Conversations with Dead People" then "Sleeper" and "First Date" where we see Spike's fall to The First and where he killed people, but also where we see how he has risen in Buffy's eye's to being trustworthy in "First Date".
With all this being said you can probably understand now why I'd say a lot of Spike nuance is credited to Jane Espenson. To quote James in the SDCC 2012 Buffy panel "Joss would come up to me about 3 episodes in to every season and say he has no idea what to do with me", so this meant the other writers (mostly Jane) to take over with writing Spike. So you can see why it's not too far fethced to say she is the reason behind his popularity as she set a lot of the ground work after s2, outside of James's himself giving a masterful preformance. Later on in the SDCC 2012 Buffy Panel she says "we knew we had this amazingly verstial character largely because we had this amazingly verstial actor, we knew whatever we put infront of James he could do..." this shows that she felt comfortable making Spike into whatever she wanted.
For my last point, there's a lot of examples here that the fandom loves to highlight Spike's being Angel's opposite, like how Spike's treament of a Minor having a crush on him compared to the soul having Angel's. Spike's complete polar opposite on how he see's love as something postive to protect, where as Angelus's use of love as a tool to torture someone with. William loved and respected women where as Liam only used the ones around him.
This all leads me to the conclusion that Spike was more popular than Angel mostly because of Jane's input and groundwork on the character after season 2, and we all know how Joss felt about Spike's popularity and there's no way Jane didn't make all his postive traits the opposite of Angel by coincidence.
Thank you Jane for creating what I believe to be one of the best characters in media history and for being the original Spike girlie.
#btvs#spike btvs#btvs spike#spike#buffy the vampire slayer#buffy#buffyv#jane espenson#this is what happens when i dont have work a good amount of sleep and a lot of caffiene#merry xmas to the spike fandom i know how you all love a big write up on spike
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dreamland: leya's struggles
authors note: this is super short and not anything major. literally wrote this in like half an hour. i could expound on it if people are interested. just wanted to give some insight to what it was like for roso and leya dealing with her ocd when she was younger.
only gonna tag a few people. if i end up expounding on it, i'll tag my usual "everyone" list.
words: 800
masterlist
warnings: angst, depiction of ocd in children
The sound of horns honking startles both Leya and Tama, the latter of which starts to stir in his car seat, single handedly exacerbating an already nightmare of a situation.
“Hurry up!”
It’s a single voice that’s followed up with several others, all expressing the same level of pressure and rudeness.
Solana is seconds away from marching over to the woman directly behind the suv behind her car when Tama’s soft, sleepy voice serves as a deterrent. “Mama, I wanna go home….”
A shared sentiment, one that makes most sense for him, as he’d either be back in bed by now or cuddled on the sofa with her while he takes a nap.
Obviously, that’s not an option.
“I know, baby,” she comforts. Solana does take a step back but instead of acting out of character, she directs her clear, unmistakable command to Jacob. “Shut them up.”
With a nod, Solana only catches his face shifting into that infamous scowl as he walks over to the cars lined up behind her, a line that has to be backed out into the street at this point.
With that handled, Solana moves back to the issue at hand.
Leya continues to cry, sniffling as her little chest moves up and down. Solana can see the tips of her fingers turning red from the repeated, forceful buckling and unbuckling of her seatbelt.
“Leya….” Solana’s voice breaks. As best as she’s doing to maintain her composure, it’s a slowly losing battle. “Baby, it’s okay. We can g—”
“No!” Leya cries, shaking her head, still not looking at Solana as the concerned mother continues to gently stroke her hair. “I gotta—I gotta do it right, mommy, or something bad will happen!”
“Cataleya, I promise you nothing bad is going to happen, baby.” A reassuring statement she’s had to have stated at least ten times now over the past almost half hour that’s passed since the start of Leya’s episode. “But, you have to get out the ca—”
“No!” Leya begins to cry harder, once again going to remove her seatbelt, counting to three with her fingers before doing it all over again. A repeated, consistent, obsessive act that’s led to the situation they’re in now. A situation Solana has no idea how to handle. This is the first time it’s ever been this bad.
“What’s wrong, Leya?” Tama asks in his sweet voice, worry filling his little face as he tries to comfort her. Unfortunately, that only does the opposite. Leya cries out and jerks her body away, swatting his helping hand, prompting his bottom lip to poke out as he too starts to cry.
“Leya, please don’t hit your brother.” It’s hard for Solana to be upset with or even scold her daughter, because she knows Leya can’t help it. Knows that it’s only because anyone else’s touch other than hers feels “wrong” to Leya, thus her reacting the way she did. “Tama, it’s okay, baby boy. Leya just doesn’t feel good.”
Solana is sure none of them are feeling good, especially herself, her hand moving to her small baby bump as a sudden wave of nausea washes over her.
God please, not right now.
Of all times, not now.
She just can’t handle this.
Solana moves to open the passenger door and reaches over to grab her cell phone out of the cupholder. Shaking, trembling hands move to Roman’s contact, as she too quickly hits the call button.
Three rings followed by a soft, feminime voice. “Mr. Reigns office, how can I—”
“Shit,” Solana curses and closes her eyes. She dialed his office number instead of his personal cell. “I’m sorry, Alicia, this is Solana. I need you to put me through with Roman.”
“Oh, hi, Mrs. Reigns,” she greets, voice kind but almost unsure. “Ummm—Mr. Reigns is in the middle of—”
“Alicia,” Solana doesn’t hesitate to interrupt. “Get my husband on this line now.”
The woman nervously clears her throat. “Of course.” A pause. “Just a minute.”
And it’s just about a full minute that passes when Solana hears her husband’s deep, baritone voice on the other end. “Solana? What’s wr—”
“I need you to meet me at the school,” she cuts in, emotion in her voice as her eyes start watering all over again. “I can’t—I can’t get Leya out the car. She’s—she’s stuck in a ritual, and I’ve got Tama, and he’s crying, and I can’t—I don’t know what to do.” Her voice breaks at the end, the overwhelming nature of it all finally trampling her
“Mommy, don’t cry,” Tama comforts, eyes focused on Solana from the backseat.
Solana is unsure if Roman can hear their five-year-old, because he’s doing the same, “baby, don’t cry. It’s okay.” It provides some solace but not as much as Solana knowing how to help her daughter could provide. “I’m on my way.”
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My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024 ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
I was tagged by @mikachusblog @aurorangen and @moonwoodhollow however I put together a recap earlier this month! Instead I'll pick about ten story moments I enjoyed from this year under the cut as well as a very special screenshot. I did want to make sure I tagged some people as well! :D
I tag: @acidheaddd @likelyamused @pink-chevalier @changingplumbob @salemssimblr
@matchalovertrait @lre333 @swiftviolets @sirianasims @lynzishell
1. January 8th: Kai shares a secret
⋆ This was a really fun flashback scene! We got to see Kai, Frances, Dan and Atlas in the earlier years of high school as well as learn that Kai has romantic feelings towards Atlas, who happens to be his first kiss! This is also where his arc officially begins in my mind!
2. March 6th: Taryn's skepticism
⋆ I remember being so proud of this scene because it was one of the first scenes I fully posed the conversation. I really enjoyed of Atlas and Taryn's mannerisms peaked through. I think this conversation while it focuses on a different subject, the nature of it shows their personalities. Taryn struggling with self confidence while Atlas's facade starts to unveil just a bit.
3. March 12th: Frances's solo
⋆ I was really proud of these poses as well as the shots. The shots of Icarus and Frances while romantic do say a lot about how each views each other. Your greatest heartbreak being how Frances feels and the deepest regret being how Icarus feels. For the cello poses, I did reference through watching performances but also real life so it was neat combining the two. I am excited for Frances's future in De Sol Valley especially when new faces are introduced to the cast. It might be similar to Atlas's prologue where Frances is the focus but just in a shorter interval.
4. March 9th: A rose and it's bumblebee
⋆ March was a good month. Maybe not for the characters, but a good month creatively for me ! I'm gonna sound so toxic but I love the tension between these two so much like hold out a bit longer please JUSTKIDDINGPFFTorami? anyways structuring taryn's monologue came out of order. the frames where she says "A stubbed toe. A scraped knee. A fall." came first. Everything else was built around those three sentences. The scene following that was fun to put together because Atlas really does struggle to apologize and take ownership over his fuck up that he tries to smooth things over by being charming but Taryn, getting more comfortable, shows her newfound skill of setting boundaries (courtesy of Atlas LMAO) and calls him out on the bullshit.
5. August 9th: Theo's official introduction
⋆ Much of Theo's life is hush hush as following after the WR arc we dive more into their lives but I do want to talk more about them. I liked following their life throughout the day and the general reclusiveness they have in a new city. Their only friend at the time is Gabriel and with no goals of going back to their old life, the only way forward is through. I will say, something about the city has a way of helping people find themselves.
6. August 8th: Of course I had to freaking include this scene
⋆ Gonna be so real right now but I was terrified to post this. Terrified. We see the chaos of Atlas's vices revealing a very important detail, one Rowan reminded us all and that is, Atlas seeks out trouble. The most curious and pressing part is why and how does it end? Any scene with Atlas is scary for me because he leaves a lot of subtle little hints but the extent of his nature is like slowly pulling off a band aid. Are people gonna like what's underneath? I'm never really sure but I do enjoy exploring his character quite a bit.
7. September 3rd: Ojitos lindos
⋆ First, I love Jules. Dude was literally supposed to only be in the one scene and... He wiggled himself into a handful. Second, was very proud of how the dance came out, with Taryn teasing Jules and Jules chasing every second of it until the kiss. OUGH! The little fiend in me blurred out "tu y yo" in the kiss scene to sorta symbolize Taryn beginning to move on from Atlas but as we see later, that was short lived. Taryn's monologue was the easiest to write and it comes from a person struggling with the bitter emotions of heartbreak.
8. October 8th: A formal introduction to Ares's life
⋆ Little lore drop but the Langs have been longtime characters of mine. In fact, longer than everyone else. Chase, Ares's father, was a main character of a youtube series I made long ago over the summers of my school days LMAO! So to revisit and restructure them as has been... WOW ! I wanted everyone to feel like they were a plant on a shelf observing the dynamics of specifically the women in Ares's life as well as the structure of his home. It felt subtle but good :)
9. October 18th: Kai's revelation
⋆ I think I have one more scene left for Kai's arc. I specifically wanted to focus on the concepts of jealousy, cognitive dissonance and religion coupled with Kai being a closeted man. I will say in the beginning, I did struggle to connect with this character. While some elements I can totally relate to, writing about it is different. Envy can be classified as an ugly feeling. It isn't palatable to most and is quickly shood away but because of that, we don't talk about it enough. So I wanted to go into this really humanizing this common emotion but not making it as some caricature of an emotion. I do love Kai's growth, I wanted to make sure he earned it and it sure feels like it.
10. November 23: The freaking arts festival
⋆ There's still like four-ish more posts to go. Those will be a bit less crash-out packed but I think it ends on a high note. There's a lot in these six posts. Some of it slightly nudging certain characters arcs, other parts deepening your knowledge of other oc's. I wanted to start out on the disappointment that Atlas faces seeing that the only person supporting him there is Daniela and how he copes in the only way he knows how. The arts festival is something he helped put together but it seems to be a reoccurring theme that any accomplishment he ever has is always overshadowed. It's always something. Each frame, every detail, to the dialogue in these two posts are intentional. The following scenes after that have some really cool conversations. I think the last post also has some unique dialogue as well but we'll pick back up on January 2nd! :)
Also a bonus! I wanted to show one of these first photos of Tessellate. It's no longer on my blog after the reboot but I wanted to show how much has changed in two years.
#also the dates on these are the dates of the screenshots so the dates might be incorrect from actual post date :)#still can't believe that was one of the first screenshots like that is WILD to me#i wonder if the three people who read this story from the start are still here#that would be WILD-ER#also did not check this for grammatical errors OOPS#tag thingy#tessellate: extras
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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Ship whatever you want to ship, but if you come away from Crimson Peak – a movie that is very very intentionally focused on female characters, from Edith to Lucille to the ghosts – with your primary focus being a ship between two men-
I have. Questions
#crimson peak#like how the hell can a movie be literally all about women and#some people are still like “I am uncomfortable when we are not about men“#ugh I’ve been talking a lot about misogyny and such lately. I don’t want to have to#I want to go back into my comfortable little cave of talking about corset myths or something#95% of men are completely fine and anyway most of the people writing this stuff are women#but the remaining 5% more ruin your life (and ruin other women so thoroughly that they can’t even watch a movie focused on women)#(without making it about the male characters)
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he’s a tired kitsune who spends his time trying to mediate between people and spirits and wandering around cities cleaning up messes he’s framed in by his rival
#oc#he doesn’t have a name yet#his entire character revolves around duality#modernity vs tradition expectation vs reality innocence vs guilt spirits vs people and how he doesnt fit in with either#hes tired and grouchy and has big chompy teeth but hes actually one of my most lawful good types#not literal laws but morally he works very hard to try to make peace so everyone can be comfortable and happy#he has no home and doesnt sleep but he loves to eat lol#my husband made a counter character for him thats a rabbit spirit who plays into the duality too#hes associated with purity & prosperity but in reality hes a thief and a liar who implicates this guy to get away w things#while this guy is assumed to be a mischievous liar but hes a guardian and good omen (for everyone but himself it seems)#i was considering extrapolating his name from inari for obvious reasons but i havent put much other thought into it#he moves silently but brings a chill and the bells and incense on him all play into how spirits are usually portended in japanese mythology#etc etc boring details hi. sorry i made another red/blue character im gay
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Have any of you guys ever been doodling when suddenly you’re hit by the angstiest idea ever and so you start workshopping that idea into an au as an alternate timeline to see if it would fit with the au only to create an absolutely heartbreaking and depression inducing scenario, only for your brain to decide that’s not enough and end up creating that same scenario in your two other main aus so that you end up with three deeply traumatized versions of the same character?
Anyone?
No?
That’s fair
I call them the heartbroken trio.
We have a post-Everything Goes To Shit arc Scythe, around January ‘24 Bloody, and a post-Second Takeover Harvest. You may notice I called them by their actual names and not by their usual [insert trait here]!BM names, and that’s on purpose.
See, due to various circumstances in each of their respective timelines, their twins died.
They’ve all taken it very harshly, but express it in different ways, Scythe is more reserved yet more ruthless in her anger, Bloody has become extremely disconnected from everything, and Harvest is an anxious wreck. All their reactions are directly correlated to their twins’ death and how they perceived it.
Anyways, yeah.
New au//timeline thing. Yay?
Oh, and for your troubles
The guy who in his canon lost his twin being extremely conflicted about the newcomers. Cuz in one hand they are versions of versions of himself that he knows that he can relate even more to! But on the other hand they are versions of versions of himself that he knows that he can relate even more to.
Yeah :P
Might elaborate on these guys later
#heresy’s dump of horrible ideas#literally cuz this is like actually horrible in the sense of what the characters go through#I could write one shots for each of them#and still have enough untapped lore to dump them in the Chaos House and give them the closure they need#I’m gonna stop rambling now#tsams#sams#sams au#my aus#sams bloodmoon#sams bloodtwins#tsams bloodmoon#The Sunset and Moonlight Show#the scenario becomes obvious if you know who’s place she’s at#this all started thanks to her and her second design (which none of you are prepared for)#Quiet Throes in Pooling Oil#I’d like to give you some sort of assurance about this one having some sort of comfort but I can’t#I fucking cried thinking of this one#Get in Losers; We’re Family Now#literally no one would understand even a fragment of what the scenario requires (I really need to write that stuff)#while the others had character related reasons for the whole change in their timelines happening- these guys just got bad luck#angst#heavy angst#tw character death#tw implied character death#Original is concerned#also that tails plush is just a plush#like actually just a plush I swear over my writing motivation’s tomb
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Anxiety doodles 😦 (basically me irl)
#my art#digital art#ibispaintdrawing#ibispaint art#ibispaintx#art#inside out fandom#inside out 2#inside out anxiety#anxiety#mf really does look like a rare wubbox#I'm honestly so proud of how this came out and the artstyle isn't even that bad LOLZ#I LOVE HER AND SADNESS SM DJDBDJ#inside out movie#inside out#I gave her a tail because I can and it really fits (also because I give tails to characters I find comfort in and relate a lot to 🤣🤣)#Also made her have nails that were pinched/peeled off totally NOT projecting at all pffft#And just added some little props that I have to either calm my anxiety or flare it 🥺🥺#Gonna be drawing her and the other characters a lot soooo 🤣🤣#anyways I'm literally anxiety irl yall trust 🤣🤣🗣️🗣️🪰
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I want the fnaf dbd chapter to be good so bad
#like theres literally no evidence that it wont be good yet at all#but its FNAF.#like dbd is so creative and has majorly been cooking with recent chapters stepping out of their comfort zone#fnaf chapter has so much potential#but im just afraid itll just be springtrap and a nightguard thats it#no cosmetics of other characters besides like og Freddy fazbear or vanessa survivor#even tho dbd usually has 1 female and 1 male survivor and vanessa is a female security guard important to story and she has a FACE#like it just feels like exactly the kind of L we would take#that somehow she wouldnt make it in#like please behavior cook 😭#give us a vanessa survivor and vanny cosmetic on the springtrap killer and my life is yours#especially because killers have recently been allowed to interact directly with the survivors from their chapter???#like imagine a vanny killer having special lines with a vanessa survivor#fucking peak#the potential is there but you know. its fnaf and im talking about SW era characters here#i have hope but man i hope we get trailers/teasers soon bc im so hesitant to expect all this cool stuff#even tho it genuinely is on track with what dbd does with everything else they do and not wishful thinking#thoughts#pre dbd x fnaf
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Maybe it's because I haven't been in a great place emotionally and mentally this week but I genuinely can't stop looking at this frame and thinking about how much I wish I could be hugged and consoled by Johanna exactly like in this scene to the point of me tearing up is that weird or
#hilda#bonnie talks#literal comfort character moment#i was only reminded of TMK 'cause of the hilda frames bot on twitter and it seemed like it was posting more frames from the movie than usua#or 'twas just the algorithm in my tl doing its thing idk#but while we're at it#there's also so much to unpack in this scene this frame is from that i haven't thought about in a long while#Hilda's sonstansil gift for Johanna getting broken and what gets Johanna to snap at Baba#Johanna being such a naturally comforting and nurturing person the moment Baba cries#all the while she's still in distress and missing her daughter whose apart from her as she tears up at the end of it#like guys Johanna is the absolute highlight of TMK for me she always has#it's just 1 of the dozens of other strong moments of her in this movie and I love her to pieces#(at the same time I never have the energy to revisit TMK in full sdfgsdw)#hilda the series#johanna hilda#hilda and the mountain king
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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I SEE THAT YOU'RE ALSO STARTING TO SELF SHIP WITH ODYSSEUS FROM EPIC AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT !! love him sm <3
(also I couldn't find if you're okay with sharing but if you're not... feel free to block me, sorry to bother you </3)
HII YAYY NO WORRIES !! I'm only non-sharing with two of my f/os and he's not one of them :D
But YEAHH HSUSRHWJRHS funny story I started listening to Epic last month because I know a billion people who like it, somehow, and I started to develop a crush on him before I could process what was happening to me. And I felt really ashamed about it because it felt silly and weirdly shameful or wtv but I saw you rb some stuff of Circe with your tag for her one day, went "wait is this not as weird as I'm making myself believe", saw Odysseus on your f/o list and immediately breathed like 10 sighs of relief. I am a free man now and am gradually becoming more ok with reblogging stuff of him on here and not getting so flustered I die LMAOO!! But AUFBSUTHRH he's so. I can't even word it right because I genuinely have no idea why my brain latched onto him, but it did, and I now giggle and kick my feet while thinking about a greek myth guy™. I have no regrets life is GOOD !!!
#[💌] mailbox#[🎁] friend ; casey#we're mooties so i am hoping the friend tag is ok!#but AHHH THERE'S SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT HIM SHAIRHAHAHAUA that's why i rambled and there's more. sigh#so much embarrassing myself on my personal blog and in my dms with my boyfriend (main reason i checked it out. also made me look at the#characters in the hades games. which did NOT help. i need to scream into a pillow when i see how he looks in hades 2 HELP#*)#I'm considering literally buying a copy of the odyssey because of this. all for odysseus. auauau i swear all of this happened in the span#of like. a month or so. it's so funny. i think me liking him may have been fated or something bc I've never really been into greek myth or#anything like that super seriously. but of course the second i breathe near epic Ohhh Goodness!#IT'S REALLY FUNNY TO ME. HE ENTERTAINS ME TO NO END AND IS SOSOSO. HEHEHE. i am yapping somuch but UHH whateverrr?? shrug#ALSO SORRY IF MENTIONING THAT YOU F/O-ING HIM HELPED ME IS WEIRD?? but like seriously since it felt like#this was a Just Me thing it felt scary and embarrassing like oughgh oh no all my friends are Normal about this and I'm not :( whuh oh#but seriously fhaufhsufb there being other epic selfshippers out there feels very comforting!! so yay!
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Just watched S09E11 of CSI, 'The Grave Shift', after last night's 'One to Go'. I don't think I'll ever recover from Grissom, my favorite character, leaving the show, but his exit was still beautiful and so, so Grissom. Him just telling the team "Yeah so, I'm leaving" and having little moments with each of them, warmed my heart (the character that represented me the most was David, who had to bolt out of the room after Grissom said, "I'll miss you, though", barely managing to hold back the tears before leaving).
And oh my god. His reunion with Sara. They didn't even need words and it was absolutely perfect. Watching Grissom feel physical pain from his break up with Sara broke my heart -- you can see how much he loves her. I hate that they'll break up again; I don't remember how or why exactly, but it feels unnecessary, but I'm comforted by the fact that, ultimately, they'll end up together for the rest of their lives.
One of the things I love about this episode is how they all paid a little homage to Grissom and, near the end, Nick, who was offered Grissom's office, invited Greg and Riley to share it with him. Fits right in with Nick's sweet personality. I love how he says they need all the good energy from that place. He's really Grissom's n#1 pupil ♡
(Shout out to Hodges, one of my favorite characters from this rewatch, walking in and bringing the pig fetus saying it belongs there. I love how bitter he is after Grissom left and how he's not willing to get over it any time soon. Forget David, Hodges is the character that represented me the most, lol).
I need to say, my brain completely ignored the fact that, when Grissom offered Ray Langston a job as a CSI he said that it was an "entry-level job". Instead, I thought he'd get the job as the team leader and it was weird for me to see him being so inexperienced at a job. But all of that is because, one, I haven't rewatched CSI in ten years and forgot about like, 97% of the show and two, I have rewatched Hannibal way too many times and got used to Laurence Fishburne playing a boss, and a damn good one. I do like his character, though!
I'm not a fan of Riley though. I don't know why, she seems mostly competent at her job, fit right in, but at the same time it's not really like she fit in? I felt like maybe she could have had some adaptation into the team, after all she was replacing a long-time team member, Warrick (will talk about him later). Her introduction and adaptation into the team felt a bit sudden and "inorganic" and maybe that's why I don't love her sassy remarks and sort of 'cool girl' personality. Yeah I love Sara but I don't love Riley for the reasons listed above. That could change, though!
Warrick. Oh, man. For Gedda/For Warrick were the most painful episodes to watch and I stalled for months. Some of the team got to have a nice last moment with him, others didn't. It broke my heart how at peace he was in his last hours, hanging out with the work fam, feeling relieved for not losing his job, which was a huge part of his life. I do hate that it had to end like that for him. I get that his death represented the loss of innocence, and that that team wasn't going to last forever... but it's just really painful. To know that he didn't have anyone else, only his soon, which we don't know if he was able to see often...
Too many things happening at once, too many changes, and bumpy ones, but I hope we'll get into a smooth road once again.
#csi#as for my last paragraph: i know it doesn't really lol#warrick's death just didn't feel right for me you know. the whole treatment of warrick just made me feel uncomfortable#in other simple words he deserved better. yes he was a flawed character. but i wouldve liked to see him happy okay#i really didnt want grissom to leave like I KNOOOW he comes back but he's my comfort character#he's literally a teddy bear have you seen him. the beard. the grandpa outfits. his calming voice. his adorable fascination with insects#william petersen is in his 70s now which is good because i can ask him to adopt me as his grandchild#scratch that bad idea i have a crush on grissom it wouldnt work#btw i didnt mention it in the text but they got LAURENCE FISHBURNE. THE laurence fishburne. i'm excited to see more of his character#i don't see much of riley on tumblr is my dislike for her actually a popular opinion? i mean if im not wrong she'll remain for#about two more seasons#that's a whole regular character people cant have forgotten about her#wait i just looked her up on the wiki#if she's not a well-liked character or even liked.... i get why#lmao#team catherine is all i'm going to say#i guess that's it for now
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I love the crocodad theory a lot but I fear that the fandom will start misgendering him or respect the character less because of transphobia.
Oda have written queer characters before who are respected by the fandom such as Bonclay but for Crocodile its another story. He is their alpha male badass character and adding queerness to his character might make them mad. Not that I care about those bigots feelings but its already not easy to navigate this fandom without queerphobia being thrown in your face.
Ppl can digest a queer character who fit in the stereotypes but once they dont, its another story.
Same, people are weird as fucking hell and gross about Crocodile maybe being trans already, we can be sure it would get worse if him being trans was confirmed in the story, there would be absolutely no avoiding it
But at the same time...
Transphobes are gonna be transphobes regardless, and I don't want that to become a reason for any storyteller to not create trans characters. I don't want Oda to bend over backwards to please the transphobes when they're the ones in the wrong. If anything, I want Oda to just go all the way with the message of queer liberation and freedom in One Piece. Like it's not perfect, but it's already there, but it's so subtle many queerphobes have been able to ignore it this whole time and I don't want Oda to let them ignore it anymore. I want him to rub it into their faces so hard they'll start complaining about "Oda going woke"
And like, let's be real. If Crocodile was trans and Oda pulled it off just right (without falling into certain pitfalls that he's be stumbling with this whole time with queer rep), that could unironically be like. Great not just trans rep but trans masc rep in particular
Like maybe it's just the media I've consumed but trans masc rep is typically very non-existant and/or very much like Yamato, who, while valid as hell, might not be how many trans masc people want to be seen as by others (as in, "confused girls")
We've known Crocodile as a character for 23 years at this point, and for the first 8-9 years of that he was very much seen as A Manly Cis Man (like you said) without a hint of a doubt (until Impel Down). If it turned out he had been trans this whole time, that would force people to rethink how they view trans people.
As just regular fucking people
That person you knew for years turned out to be trans? So what? What does that actually change about them? It's still the same person deep down. Those are the things Oda could force people to think about.
And honestly? If that helped convert even just a single transphobe, or educate someone without an opinion on trans people, to just letting trans people live their lives in peace, I think it'd be worth it
But like, yeah. The transphobes are gonna be loud regardless. It fucking sucks, and I hate the fandom for it. But, damned if you do, damned if you don't, there's no avoiding it. And I think the potential positive impact would outweight the already festering negativity.
#Moon posting#Sir Crocodile#CW Discussion of transphobia#Mind you this is assuming Oda pulled it off right#By which I mean he doesn't give Crocodile some stupid fucking excuse to why he transitioned#Like ''wanted to escape being a woman'' or ''because being a woman was weak'' or something fucking stupid#I don't think Oda knows what gender dysphoria even is so the idea of Crocodile transitioning to deal with that feels like a bloody pipedrea#But literally even just ''preferred being a man'' would be fine#The bar. Is so fucking low#My other thing is that I absolutely do not want to see him get detransitioned. At all.#Like a lot of people have been speculating that the reason we never see Crocodile use Haki might be because it could detrans him#And regardless of if that's canon or not-- I do not want to see him detransition. At all.#If we see him pre-t in a flashback that's fine#I just don't want to see him have to sacrifice his comfort for a dramatic scene where he has to ''go all out'' or something#(Especially because knowing Oda there is no way he would do that without sexualizing him for no good reason)#Honestly I am more concerned about Oda fucking it up than the fandom being gross#My bar is so fucking low and yet so impossibly high for Oda#Also what gets me about Crocodile is that usually the queer characters are young and/or amab#And this is true for literally all of the other queer rep in OP rn#Crocodile is almost a middle aged trans man and honestly would that not be like a breath of fresh fucking air#OP Meta
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Not only is my therapist hella supportive of my weird ass goal in therapy to learn shapeshifting (in whatever ways are feesable but especially in dreams) and is cool with all the negative thoughts being a monster comes with (daydreaming about hurting and eating people as a monster doesn’t make me a bad person), but they are roping in a literal shaman to help me out. That’s only part of the reason why, I’m also plagued with sleep hallucinations that are distressing (these are unaffected by my antipsychotics directly as it isn’t psychosis so I’m not gonna request med changes). That is probably the more pressing matter for them but I will be sure to tie it back to my desperate need to be a monster. I need to figure out how to satisfy this need for my mental wellbeing. I want it so bad I have literally offered my soul to entities I perceive as real and evil, hell I do it completely unprompted at times. The fact that I believe it is real and do potentially dangerous things is alarming to me when awake and have my wits about me. It’s essentially like I am drunk and wandering up to random people with a weird request. Some have gently told me they can’t do that, some are rude and tell me horrible things about me and why I don’t deserve to be happy.
Part of this is being billed to my insurance company, which is funny to me, do have to pay the shaman but my therapist is so cool they are not charging me for their time even though it is over the hour limit. They are helping me out because they care/worry about me and it is very nice to feel supported.
#I’m actually not the most spiritual person but am willing to do anything to feel correct#pretty much any attempt at woo leads back to wanting to be a monster#otherkin#monsterkin#therian#my psychiatrist knows I have weird dreams and hallucinations but has no clue what they are and how to treat that#I will let her know they have been increasing#she hurt my feelings by once saying I had a delusion so I’m not sharing anything further than that#it does not matter if I am delusional because a) I refuse to try any other antipsychotic#for fear of side effects#and b) if I’m delusional then believing in a cure hard enough will make it work#placebo effect or mind over matter or whatever#I literally do not care all I know is other people are successful at doing what I want to do#text post#wearing a fursuit helps actually but those are my characters not me#I’m not at a point where I can comfortably commission someone else to do it for me#I do not actually linger too much on the gore aspect#I’d like to I think I ought to really think of the implications of what I want to do#but also obviously I will not literally physically be a monster so don’t plan on hurting anyone#sometimes I look at gore deliberately and am like hmmm#what’s this suppose to be doing this ought to be titillating me#however simulated gore in movies and art is DEF my thing#love to see a monster brutalizing a person#but looking at a bear attack victim with the same injuries I’m like hmmmm ok#I want to tear people limb from limb and eat them#but looking at a real person eaten and torn limb from limb is like ehhh to me#hearing about videos or pictures of people INTENTIONALLY hurt and tortured upsets me can’t do that#I don’t want to hurt people in the people way#just a predator way#it’s not cannibalism fantasies btw not cannibalism if you are not human
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