#AND kass isn't even in the game at all

[casketvamps]

nintendo hates avian furries so much it's fucking unreal </3

[distantkairi]

For me, Link being "unhealthily obsessed with Zelda and finding her to the point Ganondorf is a footnote" isn't something that I think is "bad" at all, but precisely what makes this version of him remotely interesting (to me) when Nintendo is otherwise so adamant about keeping him a stoic knight most of the time.

It adds a different layer to him, turns him from this perfect, bland stoic boy into someone who only outwardly appears that way, appears like he has everything together, but is in fact flawed inside and a little broken from what has happened to him. A little off. That makes him much more interesting to me. It gives him a major character flaw that can be exploited by his enemies, and what do you know, Ganondorf and the Yiga Clan do exactly that (they even remark on what good bait she makes).

I also find it interesting to think about when he became this way. Was it the years he spent with her in-between games? Was it well before that, when he was aimlessly chasing that "beautiful voice" even before he remembered who he was? Was it some point before the Calamity? Did he become a knight in the first place not merely to follow his father's footsteps, but to one day protect her? I find this compelling to think about. Is making a specific person your life's purpose unhealthy in real life? Yes. It's also very interesting in a story.

And also on that note, isn't him becoming at least a little too obsessed with her a completely natural thing to happen?

For me, if you take away Link's (yes, I'll admit, unhealthy although I kind of like that), obsession with Zelda, then all that is left is the exact ways that people who hate not only zelink but Link himself describe him as all the time: A robot who feels nothing but duty.

And sorry, but I just find that very boring. Dull. Unexciting. I also, then, can't see why on earth Zelda would have feelings for Link if she's just a duty to him and her acts of affection, like sewing him a new tunic, are never returned. Frankly, I think she deserves a lot better than that, to have her feelings reciprocated and a happy ending after all that she's been through.

And to be honest, why would any writer make her feelings unreciprocated when she's basically the main focus of these two games? How does that make any sense? I also doubt any professional game dev working on a deadline would waste precious time writing and coding dialogue about it into the games if it supposedly wasn't meant to mean anything? I honestly rather dislike people brushing off things like Kass's song, because it ignores that it was purposefully written by the game's creators to tell the player something. It not only feels disrespectful to whoever wrote it, but ignores an extremely common convention of video games. I don't think it's really very fair to call it "bad writing" simply because it delivers the information like a video game and not like other visual mediums would have. Video games have always demanded the player to read things, investigate and read between the lines. Especially so when they are more focused on gameplay, which is exactly where Nintendo's focus lies.

And when it comes to "it should have been more obviously shown", well, look how people complain even when it's subtle? If you're someone who hates it, why complain about the romance not being overly blatant? Isn't that good? I mean, clearly an even bigger fit about it would have been thrown if they had been even more obvious, so personally, I think that the way Nintendo went about it was perfectly fine.

[defira85]

Okay you've already answered all the questions so how about 28 again?

What is smth the world needs to know about Kass's new life that you haven't yet touched on?

From the Dark Urge ask game here!

I really did end up answering nearly every one on the list huh. I can make it a little sad, as a treat

28. Wild card / Dealer's choice

Kass struggles to find a sense of identity outside of her relationship to others. When they were children, she was Heron's protector. When she was a teen/young adult, she was Bhaal's heir and valiant resurrectionist. When Bhaal was resurrected and it drove home how little she - the person Kassara - mattered, it shattered her entire world view and terrified her. Chosen of Bhaal. Gortash's lover. Orin's rival. Titles she could collect and assign meaning to, and ergo assign meaning and understanding to herself

Waking up in the nautiloid, she has a few minutes of utter crisis as she lies there without a past, without a notion of where she is or what's going on. And then Heron appears, and frees her from the pod, and then everything is right again because here is her brother and that makes her Sister and that's something. Even if that's all she has to define herself, it's something

Except then Heron takes to their new life like a duck to water, making friends and developing a blossoming romance with Shadowheart, and she flounders. The Urges start creeping back in, and that makes her easy prey for Sceleritas and Bhaal

How does that relate to post canon? You can see the same thing happening in fic post canon, when she's fucked up Gortash's resurrection and so doesn't have him to fall back on, she's cast aside Bhaal and doesn't have her identity as a Bhaalspawn to relate to, and Heron has happily announced he's setting out on a new life with Halsin and Shadowheart. She's floundering for a sense of identity and so she latches onto Heron and drags her Gortash doll along with her because she can't just live in Baldur's Gate by herself and try to figure herself out. That's impossible

Even when she's facing off against Ao post canon, she defines herself by her relationship to other people first and foremost. And she latches onto motherhood ferociously, which yes I wrote as a lengthy metaphor about bodily autonomy and the threat of rape and sexual abuse for female Bhaalspawn in general, but she's so desperate for a relationship or title which will define who she is and help her understand herself

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing in and of itself! We are social creatures, we are pack animals, we are defined by our relationships with others. But Kass doesn't know how to sit with the silence in her own soul, which I think means she doesn't know herself. She doesn't love herself, doesn't want to look at herself, not physically but spiritually doesn't want to sit down and look at who she is

That got a little sad but mmm I was thinking about her excessive enthusiasm for motherhood and what it said about her. Is she afraid of herself? She's critically afraid of loneliness, I know that much

Thank you for the ask my lovely 💜

[embyrinitalics]

Hail, whump queen! Do you have any thoughts or head canons about the end of TotK?

Ah! You're too kind. 😌 Though I usually feel more like a whump jester than a whump queen. 😅

Mmkay, so. I have Complicated Feelings toward TotK. I had fun while playing it, but trying to reconcile it as a sequel to BotW left me with a bad aftertaste (WHERE IS KASS), and as a result I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about the story or the ending or what came afterwards.

But what I HAVE spent a lot of time thinking about is How The Heck Does TotK Make Any Sense, and I have a timey-wimey cockamamie theory at which you are all sure to HOOT.

You know how there was always a sky full of floating islands and this mind-bogglingly huge underworld above and below Hyrule for thousands of years and everyone just never noticed. That really bugged me from day one. And whenever it gets brought up people are always just like "Oh yeah, it was the Upheaval."

What is that even supposed to mean? Ganondorf lifted the castle into the air and now the sky is filled with islands and we have giant chasms leading to an underworld? How is "it was the Upheaval" an explanation of anything?

But then I was thinking about how the game begins with time travel, and how Zelda has always been fast and loose with their time travel rules, and how maybe "the Upheaval" is just what people call it because it's all they can see to blame it on, but what they're really referring to is "the moment Zelda went back in time."

There's a couple different time travel options, right? You have alternate timelines, like Ocarina of Time, where you create multiple branches when you go back and forth in time and change things. You have the Back to the Future type, where there's only one timeline, but only the time-traveler notices things have changed. You have Dr. Who, which has no rules whatsoever except for when it does.

Tears of the Kingdom presents itself as more of a predestination paradox type time travel, which is more Star Trek-y. Ganondorf recognizes Link and Zelda beneath the castle before she ever goes back in time and there is a mural of her turning into the Light Dragon in the catacombs, implying that she has already done what she's about to do. If that's so, then she and Mineru have also sent the islands into the sky in preparation for Link's future, and basically everything that he discovers after his awakening has been there all along, unbeknownst to everyone.

OR HAS IT?!?

I think the game isn't a predestination paradox at all. I think, prior to their jaunt beneath the castle, there are no islands in the sky, nor Dragon fly-through routes through Hyrule's underbelly, nor any of the new, inexplicable things that crop up between BotW and TotK.

I think that when Zelda traveled back in time, she altered history. During the events of BotW there were no sky islands and no Light Dragon and no geoglyphs. But unlike in Back to the Future, when Zelda alters history everyone is aware that things have changed. They just don't know why. They blame the "sudden appearance" of sky islands and a Light Dragon and geoglyphs and everything else on the strange event they could all see happen at Hyrule Castle: the Upheaval.

Now maybe I'm just a dumb-dumb and this was what we were supposed to think all along? But I didn't get that during my play-through. O_o

BUT WAIT, you may be thinking. If that's the case, how did Ganondorf recognize Link and Zelda beneath the castle in the intro, and how was there already a mural of her turning into the Light Dragon down there? And I'll give ya another one! How do we see the Light Dragon flying around the Great Sky Island when Link still has the decayed Master Sword in his possession?!

SO THIS IS THE HOOTABLE PART.

Things don't change when Zelda goes back in time. Things change when Zelda picks up the Secret Stone.

The stone itself is a magical magic-amplifying device, and rather than the instant Zelda warps backwards being the time-altering event, I think that it was the moment she touched (and "activated," if you will) the stone and it's timey-wimey powers that the timeline began altering.

At that point she is existing in a midst of a magically-created spacetime paradox bubble, wherein time no longer functions linearly for her. She exists as the princess beneath the castle, as the time traveler in the past, and as the dragon in the sky simultaneously. All of the events that are currently happening (from our perspective), have happened (in Hyrule's past), and will happen (in Link's future), are all swirling and altering the timeline at once. This is why Ganondorf already knows her name, and why she exists as the Light Dragon in the sky despite Link not having sent back the Master Sword yet.

BUT WAIT, you may exclaim. WHAT ABOUT THE MURAL.

Ok so. This is a cop out, but listen. We don't ACTUALLY see the contents of the mural. It's covered up until later. So. It might not have been an image of the Light Dragon at all. PERHAPS.

...

Look. I know this whole theory is riddled with holes and I don't think this is what the developers intended at all and I'm not even sure I really believe it myself. But if I had to write a fic and I needed the events I see in the game to make sense, this might be a route I would take. Just so my brain would stop hurting.

So! That's totally not what you asked but there you have it. 😂

Thanks for writing in!

[phoenixcatch7]

Thinking about possible totk dlc again... Listen, we all know we want it XD.

Thing is, I've read the interviews, and I think Nintendo is right. There's just no more mechanics they can add to the game without completely breaking it. Totk is maxxed out on mechanics and options and playability. There really is nothing more they can add ability wise without bogging the whole thing down and causing a million problems, both for themselves and players.

But that's not all there is in a game, is there?

There's master mode, for one. Gold enemies are missing from totk entirely, never mind all the craziness of regenerating enemies, new mob camps just floating around, the gleeok they'd probably put on the great sky island. People loved master mode in botw, there's no reason not to at least drop that button back in.

But... People do have a few complaints. There's stuff they're missing, stuff that leaves loose ends, stuff that wasn't explained well enough. It all mostly boils down to one thing.

Story.

We could have an answer to where the divine beasts and all the sheikah tech went. We could find a giant scrapyard at the bottom of a new/old chasm because hyrule tossed everything in that could be pried up. There could be like five remaining active guardians, just so we can mess them up like we did in botw. There's voids where water is on the surface, there's plenty of space! It'd solve both the 'where tf did they go' and the 'man I wish we still had guardians' issue in one fell swoop.

We could get casual dialogue that all the divine beasts were driven out to sea and sunk! I don't know! Some sort of closure! We could talk about generational trauma responses! The instinctive fear of sheikah tech if there is one! Link is certainly canonically traumatised, did you see him with the first sky tower??

We could get wolfie back! Update his teleportation code so he can keep up with our stupid endeavours and not get caught in crossfire! Make him immune to zonai tech, idk.

We could get a resolution to kass and Penn! That whole storyline ended so sadly, and the lack of kass is straight up disturbing. We could rescue him from the depths where he fell in or smth idk!! Just because you're a bird does NOT mean you can fly a kilometer + straight up in pitch black through a narrow cylinder with lethally toxic sides. Now he's got enough material for life! (and probably trauma. The only food down there is stuff the yiga brought, which - well, it's not like they'd worry about thieves down there.

That stupid chef from lookout landing who ran off to the castle. That's TOTALLY a quest come on :(. Let him come home.

More lookout landing expansion, if you're desperate for stuff that isn't 90% dialogue! Please let me install bigger towers and a bathing area and more shops or SOMETHING. Little outlet stalls from every capital! Let me rebuild the first home in castle town! I! D! K!

More newspaper news! We could randomise it like the spider man ps4 news feed, that was hilarious. Absolute hogwash rumours and stupid feuds between neighbours and the results of pumpkin growing competitions! Mix it up, traysi had bonkers stuff, it was so good. What does life look like from inside the world?

Hylia gossip? We know she doesn't keep strictly to her 'find shrine rewards for increased gains, link' thing. Let her ask link for random stuff for 'power buffs' and give him, like, a random buff that lasts precisely 24 minutes.

Maybe even a 'now we opened the plateau again, people want to investigate' side plot. No one wanted to see :(. I didn't like that the only people up there were yiga :((. Send some new research team dude to wax lyrical and beg link for photos of different areas or symbols.

Gloom hands should be able to attack link in the depths. This would solve nothing and in fact make things much worse, but it happened to me twice and it was so much worse than on the surface lol.

Maybe some idiot managed to make it to a Sky island with balloons but now they can't get down, whoops lol. Some of them really aren't that high up and there's a lot of very determined people XD.

Someone's been captured by the yiga and link has to do a full infiltration and smuggle them the keys to their cell. Come on, the yiga base is underutilised!!

The gerudo stable was being shut down because of the sandstorm turning away travellers. After we solve that, maybe we could help reopen it? It made me so sad...

Link vs the flower lady. She wants a sample of every single flower in hyrule to get it all nice for her majesty! She remembers his crimes...

Link and the new sages could have a silly bonding quest each! Let him test his mettle against them in a spar! I don't know!

The ability to pet dogs and horses! An idle sitting animation that makes link sit down properly to enjoy the view!

Heck, a master cycle equivalent....

There's just a almost infinite amount of options available for real, actual content, it doesn't just have to be new mechanics and new dungeons. Yes, it gets the adrenaline going, but neither the fans nor Nintendo want nor need more of that.

We know the story is more lacking in botw/totk than previous zelda games, an understandable and acceptable sacrifice when you're working with such a huge and complex open world as this, but this is the perfect opportunity to fix that, Nintendo, don't you see? Give that incredibly elaborate coding a break and give the writers something else to chew on.

Tag what quest line or question you want answered in the comments or tags!

[ladycremecaramel]

Let's play Tears of The Kingdom! First Play through. Part 16

Hello hello 🖐Welcome back to my first playthrough of this glorious game. Last where we left off, we went to Dueling Peaks Stable and I hit my 30 image limit. So lets get going.

I spotted a doggo at the stable! I wanna pet it!

Did you not get enough sacrificial virgins to develop a code so Link could pet the dogs?! I'm already pissed off at you for taking away Kass, trying to get us to forget our champions and no kitty cats to ignore us (Lynels don't count you dicks!)? Did you have to deny us this too?! Of course we wanna pet the dogs! We wanna pet all of the dogs! And the horsies!

......I still want to play. Whatever. I'm still mad about it...There better be something super fucking cool that happens that I haven't been spoiled on. Moving on.

If you younger folks don't understand this reference, then you need to watch "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" Will look into this later.

（⊙ｏ⊙）omg I discovered where to find kaoemojis

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

FAIRY!!!!!! Wow that didn't take long. Which one is this?

つ﹏⊂

uh what? No rupees? You wanna hear music? Waitwaitwaitwaitwait there's that one dude who has a drum! He needs honey. GEt that man some honey NOW!

~doodeedoodeedooo!~

Three courser honeys later

I thought I took more screenshots. I gotta find this guy and his group at the Woodland Stables...I'm trying to remember where that is...isn't that the one near the korok forest? Jeebus even more things on my plate. Slow down!

Well anyway I went as far as Fort Hateno where I run into Hoz again and his group of Merry Men. I've met them before to take down a monster hold and once again they needed help with another one. Is this going to be a regular thing?

After taking down the monster hold, I go beyonf the wall and went into Calip's old house where I found hylian rice. woohoo! Now I can make the porridge...and I try...with ingredients that have light in them. except thats not turning into porridge

...ok I think I'm stuck...and I tried on my own to figure what I was missing until I just said 'eff it' and looked up the thing I needed. So I need this thing

A sundelion. That grows in high places or those random rocks from the skies. Eehhhh I'll find it when I find it. I know it can be found around the ring ruins. At least that's what the walkthrough said {of what little I looked at cuz spoilers I wish to avoid) but I really don't want to deal with that. Instead I'll look for it elsewhere while finding more shrines, koroks and maybe be able to get Cortera out of her flower.

(◎﹏◎)

yea this happened while going towards a shrine. I panic hit the capture button so I don't have a good shot of the scary doom hands. I did get grabbed and my hearts went down but I teleported to safety. phew.

Who's that?

Eeey that's a name I haven't heard in a while. Now I'm curious.

and she won't talk to me cuz I'm naked.

Ok Miss Hoity Toity McSnob face. Your hat looks stupid btw.

Oh yea I'm building a folder of screenshots of npc reactions to Link with no clothes on. I'll upload it whenever I get the max amount I can post. So stay tuned on that 😁

I was in a shrine and I noticed my shield had this design. I thought it looked cool and wanted to show it off. :>

Huh...a hole in the big tree stump and not a great flame sword...and no monsters...Into the hole!

Wow it goes deep. There's a lot down here too. Lots of brightbloom seeds.

I wish I took a capture but I forgot. When I saw this, I was totally expecting to find someone here. Instead I found pants.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Well at least it completes one of my armor sets. Ok my search for a flower continues while sightseeing like a dumb tourist.

Huh. So that's one of the petroglyphs Cado was talking about. Also that one skyview tower is very uh...lit up. Bridget made a return for a korok quest. As tempting as it was to drag it around, I felt uneasy about running into more doom hands while having Bridget.

Found this guy in a cage. I was wondering where he was since he wasn't at Dueling Peaks Stable.

Still obsessed with the Blood Moon I see. I can't bash you for a weird hobby. I mean, I like having Link in his undies. He gave me multplie rewards though 👍

oh. It's the treasure hunters from Dueling Peaks stable. Incompetent as ever I see. And a monument. Like the one we saw at Fort Hateno.

....dammit....30 image limit strikes again.

[nullen-void]

A Random Skeleton Talks About Tears of the Kingdom

So, we all agree that Portal is a great game, right? And we all agree that Portal 2 is also a great game, right?

But are they great for the same reasons? When you talk about Portal 2, the things everyone talks about are Wheatley, Cave Johnson, the corrupted Cores, and Caroline. In Portal, yeah, you've got GLaDOS yammering at you the whole time and she's very funny, but people are more inclined to talk about the puzzles, the problems solving, the big climactic boss fight and how amazing the portal gun is. You'll get some of that in 2, but not as much.

So here's my thesis: Tears of the Kingdom is a great game, but Breath of the Wild is better.

It's my opinion that TotK is doing too much. You've got puzzles, you've got dungeons, you've got shrines, you got Land, Sky and Depths, you've got companions who each get their own arc;

There's a zombie apocalypse happening in Gerudo Town and a Ferngully pastiche happening in Zora's Domain, enemies can be armored, Gloomy, and armored AND Gloomy. There's an overarching mystery surrounding Zelda and her sporadic appearances, there's ten backstory cutscenes to unlock, and there's this and there's that and Team Rocket is building airplanes two miles underground and they hate you.

BotW, meanwhile, has much less happening. The shrines are there, and you can do as many or as few as you want. The Master Sword isn't required. Each side character gets a few minutes in the spotlight and then they're gone, essentially. The backstory cutscenes in this game aren't really a seperate story in their own right but just snippets of Link's life before; just enough to get you invested in his interpersonal relationships with a handful of long-dead people.

I want to make it clear that Totk doesn't do any of its many elements badly. At their worst, they're still competent and well done, and the things they do well are done very well. But there's just too much. The Ultrahand system is incredibly robust, and people are able to make amazing things, but Magnesis was better for puzzles because it had more restrictions, forcing you to get creative.

Normally, I'm a guy who's all about stories. Story is important, and Tears has a lot of it, but... Botw's breadcrumbs were almost more compelling. You had to find them yourself, and more often than not you'd stumble into a memory while just exploring on your own. It was like Link was having his memory jogged organically as he encountered places important to his past self. In Totk, the Dragon Tears are visible from space. They paint giant murals wherever they land, practically demanding you look at them, and if you don't then the end of the game is going to really confuse you, whereas in Botw the context wasn't necessary.

I dunno. They're both good, but I think in this case less is more, you know?

Besides, Tears of the Kingdom doesn't even have Kass in it, so I think we know who wins.

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party. / kass&o in front of tied up nick? immortal??? XD

in the dimly lit room, tension grew thick as kassy leaned in close to octavia. their proximity crackled with an intoxicating energy, a tangible connection that set the hungrily dark room ablaze. but for nick, he couldn't help but experience a whirlwind of conflicting emotions as he stared helplessly from where he'd been tied, a captive audience to the passionate display before him.

despite how he's been trained to see supernatural beings just like these two as abominations— creatures of darkness who had wreaked havoc on humanity for centuries. here he was, bound by ropes that felt more like chains of desire. he was torn between the instincts of a hunter and the chaotic yearning for the two women who defied all he's ever known. kassy with her powerful reign and her sultering gaze. octavia whose bright presence seemed to illuminate the depths of his soul. both held a secret allure that terrified and captivated him.

emerald hues watched as kassy tilted her head, full lips curling into her cheshire smile, a possessive glint in her eyes as those full lips pressed against her. a delightful rush of love and desire soared through octavia. their kiss turned fevered, a declaration of love meant only for the two of them. however, it appeared to ignite something primal in nick. his heart raced from across the room. caught between a jealousy and yearning as he watched the two expressing their affection for each other. muscles tightened against his binds.

jealous, nick? kassy asked with a tsk, pulling away just enough to lock her piercing gaze with his. crystal hues burned with fire listening to the challenge in her voice, a taunt wrapped in seduction. in that moment, octavia's laughter swirled like delicate music in the air and nick felt a burn of jealousy rise within him, tied to an unquenchable desire. his hunter instincts screamed at him! they're dangerous! but how could he deny the magnetic pull he felt toward both woman? especially kassy. she resonated with a darkness that matched his own concealed urges, offering him a dip into his true self.

"do you dream about this?" octavia asked softly, a knowing taunting smile gracing her lips as she glanced back over at nick. gently, she brushed kassy's hair behind her ear, perfectly displaying the soft curve of her neck. "me and kassy...you all tied like a brave little hunter?" her finger rose to glide along her bottom lip, teeth grazing as she watched him.

nick's breath caught, a mixture of lust and frustration surging through him. despite it all, he couldn't deny the thrill even if he wanted to. the whirlwind of emotions rushed through him, unable to be suppressed. "this isn't a game," he muttered, crystal hues darkening with lust as each second past. isn't it, he heard kassy taunt as her focus shifted back to octavia. cool fingertips brushing down her cheek that had octavia's skin heat beneath. the gesture both endearing and possessive, and it ignited a fire in nick that begged for release. his heart raced as he struggled against the ropes, longing to be a part of this intimate moment rather than watch, bound by feelings he could not untangle. "please," he breathed out, hues drinking in kassy.

[amiharana]

RiTO doing that Silence of Idol game and Revali actually falls asleep because he works himself too much

i'm gonna be honest i had no idea what this game was until i searched it up and watched (1) a string of tiktoks about treasure and up10tion doing the game and (2) the entire episode of lesserafim on the game KDJHFHKJDSJH but i got the gist. i've been so out of the kpop loop lately

(for anyone else who may be unfamiliar with 'silence of idol' and have 15 minutes to spare, lesserafim was very entertaining to watch on the show LOL but it's essentially like a challenge simulation of kpop idols being in their trainees days and having to practice or something late at night while attempting to not get caught by their manager/trainer)

RiTO doing this game would be so silly 😹 kass and MAYBE mimo would be the only ones who would have fun with it, bc teba, harth, and revali would be so serious about it. kass and mimo trying to convince their manager to get in on the fun with their takeout fried chicken vs. teba, harth, and revali all panicking and getting ready to accept their punishment for getting caught even though it's literally just a game 😭

i can totally imagine revali genuinely falling asleep during the game 🥺 the youngest of the group pushes himself to be the best idol out there, always saying that his training isn't enough, that he needs to be more accurate in his dance moves and hitting notes, and push himself past his own limits. teba is constantly chastising revali for late nights training because revali insists on waking up with the sun too, so he's always running of <4 hours of sleep (which actually is the reality of most kpop trainees & idols anyway, but let's pretend that the loz kpop au isn't as bad 🥹).

maybe before they're scheduled to film the silence of idol, revali pulled an all-nighter practicing for their next music show performance and thus is extremely sleep-deprived. during the segment of the game where they genuinely are supposed to fall asleep, it's only supposed to be a light sleep which most of the members achieve, easily woken up by the lights turning on and the sound of the door opening. but revali, the lightest sleep of them all, doesn't budge, doesn't even react at all.

"hey, revali, wake up," mimo says, gently shaking revali's shoulder in an attempt to rouse him. "it's time to start practice." nothing.

teba and harth come up on revali's other side, crouching beside him on the floor. "don't play games, kid, we're supposed to start practicing in a few minutes," harth says gruffly, poking revali in the forehead. the second youngest of the group is as serious about keeping up the act as he is about playing the game.

teba swats his hand away from revali's face. "don't do that," he says, before refocusing back onto their youngest. "revali, are you really sleeping?" still no response.

I'M . IMAGINING THIS SCENE THE WAY THEY WOULD SAY AND EDIT IT THE WAY ACTUAL KPOP IDOLS WOULD so in my head it's like a close-up of revali snoozing and curled up in the blankets and there's a caption that reads something like "RiTO maknae Revali is so peaceful when he sleeps~ 🌸" and "doing his job as the maknae flawlessly; he sleeps like a baby! 👶 [baby laughter sound that all the kpop idol editors use]". teba standing up to rub at the back of his head and chuckling awkwardly; "i guess revali really did fall asleep..."

they end up pausing filming as the members sit by their youngest, the managers talking with the film crew, as revali continues slumbering on. kass and mimo are taking pictures of revali and giggling to themselves about how cute and peaceful he looks fast asleep, meanwhile teba is worrying about how revali has been working too hard lately and is probably why he fell asleep and didn't wake easily as he usually would.

"should we cut down practice sessions?" teba says to harth.

the second youngest just shrugs. "he already practices extra in addition to our regular sessions. you're not gonna be able to stop him from practicing more unless you physically restrain him." teba sighs; harth is right.

the managers decide that they're just going to take revali back to the dorms to keep sleeping and have a check-up to make sure he's healthy and not overdoing it. the rest of RiTO can continue filming for the comeback promotions, and they're fine with it albeit worried for their youngest. that's when revali begins to stir, mumbling and shifting around in the blankets, the rest of RiTO beginning to crowd around him again. (the cameras are still rolling KJDFKJDSF)

"hello, our lovely maknae~" kass greets him softly. "did you sleep well?"

"slept?" revali mumbles, blinking sleepily back up at the second oldest. "wha... only closed my eyes for a little... didn't even sleep that long..." and kass has to hold back a laugh, pursing his lips.

"that's right, revali," mimo whispers, also trying to keep in a laugh. "but it's still too early for practice, so you can go back to sleep for a little bit until it's time. we'll wake you up, okay?"

revali nods slowly, eyes falling shut as he curls back up into the pillow and blankets. "okay, hyung" he yawns. "you better... wake me up..." and falls right back asleep 🥹

the rest of RiTO and their managers are all trying not to laugh, taking a video of their sleepy maknae curling back up so cutely to sleep. the normally sharp-mouthed youngest is so sweet and cute when he's sleepy, why can't he be like this all the time? 😹

[ndnp-art-ct3]

(Right image on Sketchfab)

On the left is Koby Riyo, a crow guy. He's a freelance horror artist that's semi-popular on Twitter. Being unable to pay his apartment rent, he bought and moved into a suspiciously cheap extravagant winter lodge, only to find out it's inhabited by a demon. Beats the rent pay, though.

On the right is Zlaxubuth the Powerful, an extremely powerful reality-bending demon who happened to mess with the wrong person, and ended up being sentenced to some snowy house by someone even more powerful. After screwing with each house inhabitant, there happened to be one person unfazed by all his scares.

Despite their differences, they ended up forming an unlikely bond. Love comes from the strangest of places, doesn't it?

Extra info under the cut.

I think about these two a lot.

I have a lot written about them, but I'll try to summarize it for the post.

So the story is, Koby couldn't pay for his apartment rent. He looked online and found a house in the Turran sector for an extremely cheap price. It wasn't even a rent, it's like whoever had it last wanted to get rid of it. He got the house and moved in. It's pretty big, significantly bigger than his last apartment. And with such a big house, you're bound to feel lonely. Except, he didn't. In fact, he couldn't help but feel like he was being watched.

On the other end, Zlaxubuth just got sentenced to this one house for using his reality-bending demon magic on the wrong person. How that person knew Luce, the Ruler of Hell, he had no idea. But now he could no longer leave without permission of either Luce or a house inhabitant. (In the case of the second one, his powers are extremely limited outside the house.)

He has full reign on the inside of the house though, so he still got to fuck with people, essentially haunting the house and putting each inhabitant through a horror movie. It was really the only entertainment he had. That changed when this bird guy gets the house. He's never met anyone like him before. Anyone so... Unfazed. By everything. Nothing he did worked. After trying for a long time, he eventually gave up.

Koby's pretty low-key like... All the time. When he isn't working on commissions, he's usually pretty lazy. His usual activities are browsing the internet, playing video games, or sleeping in bed. He didn't really think that much of the haunted-demon-house situation, so he wasn't really worked up about it at all. The only thing that mattered to him was that he had a place to stay. Zlaxubuth was bored out of his mind, with nothing to do. What he previously had for entertainment didn't exist with this guy around. So he just watched him go about his business.

One day, Koby was playing video games. Smash Brothers Ultimate, to be specific. Zlaxubuth came over, interested in what the hell he was doing. To his surprise, he actually started getting into it, and this began their bond with each other.

Zlaxubuth was pretty new to this friendship thing, so he had quite a bit of trouble understanding it. All he knew is that after spending so much time with this guy, he kinda... Enjoyed his presence? Weird.

They continued to bond with each other, and that bond got closer and closer as Zlaxubuth figured out more and more about himself and his own feelings... Sure enough, they started to have feelings for each other.

It's a strange relationship, but when is love not strange?

For reading all this (or not, maybe you skipped past it idk), you get this shitpost I made a while ago.

It's based off a video with the same audio that had Liam, Bryce, and Amelia from HFJONE in it and I have no idea what the source is or who the original artist of that was

The third person in the video is Hazel Kass, who I haven't posted about yet.

[theliterarywolf]

Was bitching to a friend about how often beast races get shafted in fantasy. BOTW/TOTK: We only see TWO zonai, the rito's town and population are TINY, the zora /are/ better off tho sadly totk fucked up the story there. Elder Scrolls: No main series beastman game yet (online doesnt count), you cant even marry any khajit in Skyrim. Been watching a friend play Sun Haven and the "monster" bachelors are just a dude with wolf ears/tail and a dude with horns. Feel like most beast races are just furries or humans with beast parts. Female beasts are always humanized the fuck out of. It's just so tiring and boring!! I'm sick of humans and elves and dwarves and shit!! "Humans are interesting bc they're resilient despite their short lives and brave and blahblah--" do not care!! I am a furry I wanna see interesting new races!! The guy in my icon is a shrimp man!!

It's like 'my goodness, you have a fantasy setting and you prioritize the humans. Sure, alright'

And this isn't like a recurring conversation that I see in online D&D spaces (i.e.: 'Really? All the creative power in tabletop gaming and you choose to be a human? Fuck out of here')

But more 'if you are presenting a piece of media in a fantasy or scifi setting and you establish that there are many different races and worlds/cities in that setting... Just to force the player/viewer/reader to spend 85% of their time with humans... Why did you even bother adding in the other races/worlds/cities?'

And everyone already knows my feelings on 'Instagram Cosplay Thot #93'-style monster/nonhuman design, so we don't have to retread that.

...Yeah, you bringing up the Rito reminded me: I may not have cared for Kass back in BotW (I didn't outright dislike him like I did Revali, I just didn't care for him), but damn did I miss him in TotK! This new pelican motherfucker ain't shit!

[stovetoast]

i know this is my art blog but i can do whatever i want. agents posting GO (WARNING THIS IS MESSY)

agent 3: lake. 19 (11 in splatoon 1), they/them

i dont have a lot on lake!!! they actually didnt get recruited at all, they just kinda... stumbled into the battlefield while the octavio fight was happening and insisted on sticking around afterwards because they had Way Too Much Energy. they dont really know a lot about their past before that, even less after oe. they now spend a lot of time researching turf game strategies (theyre not legally allowed to play because their special limiter is broken) and trying to push through the chronic fatigue. oh, and theyre in a qpr with 8.

personality . uhh basically lake likes to pretend theyre still silly but its Not working. they cant really speak above a certain volume either without it hurting. im so bad at describing personalities heeellllp hellllp help meeee helllllp

agent 4: mari(elle). 21 (15 in splatoon 2), any

the child of two splatlandian grizzco higher-ups! like... they work with the bear himself! they worked under the company at the inkopolis location for a while, including while the whole callie disappearing fiasco was happening, at least until the company got big enough where he could quit and her parents wouldnt notice. they didnt. cool! there may or may not be a reason that they didnt (wink) but i havent decided yet.

mari is kinda uhhhm. well. ive described it as theyre working on being silly without being mean. and hes been getting better :] + toni kensa fan oh heeeeelllllll no

agent 8: august/kass. 19 (13 in oe), he/him

oh god yeah i dont have a lot on him either. basically baby kass and baby lake met a few weeks before the Oe Incident and became fast friends. but then the metro happened and uhhhyeah you can imagine what happened to that. they both know they were close but dont really uh. actually i explained this better in another thing let me grab that.

"the key difference between a normal playthrough and this is that, not only did he run into agent 3 a few times in the metro, he… lost an eye when they were sanitized. the same eye, in fact. plus, his memories weren't entirely… restored, like how it i assume its implied to in oe. the contents of the mem cakes were merely evidence that there was a life before this, something to evoke feelings, and something to keep him going. that isn't his life anymore."

anyway. oe happens and now were here. present day kass is SILLY okay? but in the way that like. he dunks bread in pepsi and stares at mari (roommate) with the most blank face imaginable when they look at him weird. i dont know where im going with this hes just weird. he also has a strange fixation on death as a coping mechanism for the fact that his first memories are pretty much of zombies but hes respectful about it dw

new 3: clementine "kit"/patch. 16, it/its

basically it was forced to take on an unhealthy amount of schoolwork (+ a few extra years of school) because its parents live all the way in calamari county and didnt want it doing stupid shit. its primary guardian is its older sister, whos a lot nicer about this stuff yay! but yeah uhh splatoon 3 basically happens because it wanted to escape that. why it actually went in the manhole is up to interpretation .

through the nss bonanza business it made a friend, my friends oc ball :] together they are agent 6 and agent 9 (dubbed by lake because they knew itd get confusing) and theyre Siblings Yaaay. its smallfry friend (agent 3) is dubbed sen, short for baby sensory video, at least while kits learning their language. it doesnt know a lot about sen but is in the process of learning!!

its generally very quiet and soft-spoken to most people because of how it grew up, but in more of the ^_^ way ig??? despite that its also known to not have a sense of self preservation, again because of how it grew up. it goes out in the scorching hot desert for random junk. it ended up with severe facial scarring because it dove into danger so much in alterna. im describing this very badly im so sorry.

[bropunzeling]

what if. GIRL MATTHEW. for the prompt

The thing about this league is there's always a narrative. Everyone expects that because Leon is a woman in the NHL, and because Tkachuk is a woman in the NHL, that they'll -- she doesn't fucking know. Find the kind of sisterhood that transcends petty rivalries and hug it out after the game, or paint each other's nails, or do whatever fucked up horny shit that redditor was watching on PornHub earlier. Pick your poison.

Well, Leon doesn't give a shit if she and Tkachuk should stick together or respect each other just because neither of them are swinging a dick around in the room. Tkachuk's a rat, and a Flame, and a shit-stirrer who acts like she isn't one as soon as there's a microphone in her face, and Leon's not going to be guilted into liking her.

Not even if they're both on the same All-Star team.

"Play nice," Connor says as they head into the dressing room, just before they have to part ways.

"Go fuck yourself," Leon tells him, head pounding from last night's hangover.

And then it's her and Tkachuk and Pettersson, all in a row.

Pettersson dresses in record time, like she knows she doesn't want to stick around for this.

"Hey, Drai," Tkachuk says, grinning up from her spot on the bench. She's in her sports bra and pads, jersey on her lap. Unlike Leon, she doesn't keep her hair very short; it spills out everywhere, a frizzy mess of curls that somehow fits under her helmet.

"Tkachuk," Leon says, grabbing her own gear. Because it would not be playing nice to tell Tkachuk only her friends call her Drai, she doesn't. But she thinks about it.

"You coming out later?" Tkachuk asks, easy and friendly, like they're pals, like the last time they saw each other Tkachuk wasn't trying to goad Kass into getting tossed out. "Can show you around."

Leon wants to say no. She has her own friends. She can make her own way. Just because the league thinks it's cute to have two of their superstar women -- maybe as good as the guys, not that you'd know from their contracts -- on the same line, doesn't mean they need spend time together afterward.

But Tkachuk is watching her, gaze bright and interested. Smiling, in a way where Leon can't tell if she's trying to needle or if she actually means it. There's a divot in her cheek. And after the disaster of Leon's post-game interview, her comments running through the internet like wildfire, Connor's admonishment to play nice for once in her fucking life running through her skull, she knows what the right answer is.

And way deep in her animal hindbrain, so deep she thought she'd buried it alive, she wants to know if Tkachuk will look at her in a bar the way she looks at her on the ice. Like she knows what Leon’s thinking, and wants to see what Leon will do next.

"Sure," Leon says. By the way Tkachuk's eyes widen, she's surprised both of them. "You can show me around."

[dinagothsdress]

🌻 ✨ this stupid baka life isn't going according to keikaku ✨ 🌻

Please refer to my stance on all these so-called "Donation Posts" before sending me any [TDLR: don't]. Anyone who does so anyway will be blocked and reported as spam.

the basics:

i'm kass! <3 (she/they) (here's my little labels hoard)

my hobbies and interests outside of shitposting and gaming include: onomatology/linguistics, writing and worldbuilding, aviation, seismology, fishkeeping, music, and clinical psychology.

this blog is a bit of a mess but i'm too lazy to maintain sideblogs. therefore, expect a mix of shitposts and multi-fandom stuff.

i tag fandoms so you can easily block the tag if it's annoying or not your kinda thing.

current fandom hyperfixations:

(as of september 2024)

the sims (special shoutout to 2000s sims 2 cc, i love you even if it's hard to find you now)

pssst: my simblr is @peridot--sims

house md (yet more old man yaoi, except it also feeds my medical hyperfixations) (also cuddy is a lesbian the writers were wrong actually)

duran duran + depeche mode (thank you for inventing synthpop) (honourable mentions to devo + ymo)

project zomboid (my beloved)

balatro (i hate you i hate you i love you)

byf: [political] discourse is a big DID/PTSD trigger and also annoying so i will avoid it. if i suddenly break moots or unfollow, this is likely why. if i wanted my existence and hobbies to be politicised i'd go outside.

[dreadfutures]

TOTK ENDING SPOILERS

So I absolutely loved the dragon sky fight. It was cinematic, it felt good to play through, it was a literal upwelling. At the same time as it absolutely felt like a step above the Calamity, it also felt like -- this Link isn't intimidated, this Link has done this before, this Link is ready to take this guy down.

I did enjoy the Ganondorf fight, and the display of his swordsmanship! He perfect dodged me so many times. But it did feel slow. Like literally sluggish. The way he moved was just...like he was floating slowly toward me, and I gotta say it wasn't super scary. Even when he became the Demon King, Master of the Secret Stone it felt slow and not threatening. But my big complaint is...still don't super get his motivations. Like he wants to rule the world, why does he want to destroy all life?

Okay so my big gripe tho is that saving Zelda should have been a quest. It should have been separate. At the very least, it should have involved talking to Rauru and Sonia. Let it be a quick conversation about how idk people who become dragons with secret stones to seek Power or Immortality lose themselves forever, but Zelda did it because of LOVE FOR HER FRIENDS (if they don't wanna say she loves link, which like, SHE DOES) and so the power of love will remind her of who she is!

But it really should have been a quest. I kept going to Impa being like "you said we'll find a way to fix Zelda, let's find a way" and stuff. But no progress.

Overall I really enjoyed the game and will love playing it to 100% and I hope there's DLC! I'm (probably on purpose, fuck u Nintendo) still confused about the timeline. Sonia was a HYLIAN, she was a PRIESTESS, so Hylia was already a thing on the surface and not in the sky yet. Or, Skyward Sword had already happened? it being Ganondorf means Demise was already sealed right? But if Skyward Sword happened already, where is the Hero, why are Sonia and Rauru so ignorant about the Hero and the Sword? Why is it *Rauru's* sealing power, his light power? Zelda in BOTW is the Goddess Blood Princess, right, according to Kass.

Is Sonia descended of Zelda/Hylia? Or is she before Zelda/Hylia?

Like always I feel like Nintendo was purposefully like "what will people try to place this as? alright how can we fuck up every possible placement in the timeline, we are actively hostile to ppl who want to know that"

Anyway, my fic is going to be largely canon compliant except for two things -- the Hero is descended of the Fierce Deity, and saving Zelda needs a reason and a good adventure to figure out how to save her.

Also, Link should have kept Rauru's arm...or lost his arm in the end. Let the poor boy retire.

AND WHY DID YOU TAKE AWAY MY SHIRT!

[moinsbienquekaworu]

@ivory-coronet I've kept playing TotK and oh my god do you want to hear literally every thought out of my head on the topic?

BEWARE OF TOTK SPOILERS ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE

First I love all the little newspaper quests they're silly but they're fun and it's pretty nice going everywhere doing random shit that in like a third of cases are just the Yiga trying to fuck with you. I'd say Penn is useless but actually I think we're splitting the work pretty well: I do all the fieldwork and he writes the articles and gives them to Traysi! Great partnership. I just need the Gerudo Stable and I'll be done, but Ihope you can do stuff with him once the questline is over.

Also I can't help but notice you have way more of an impact on the world in a way? The NPCs remember you, they know who you are more often, I saw the two horse researchers and since I'd already talked to Malanya I got to tell the one who was interested in him that he did indeed exist, it's really really cool. And the rebuilding quests!! The Rito Village bridge! The Lookout Landing mini-stable!! The monster-control crew stuff!!! I really feel like I'm not just doing random sidequests for a reward but that I'm actually contributing to the world and the world knows it.

On the topic of the Wind Temple: it was great, you were right it didn't feel like an annoying dungeon! More like a traditional dungeon but not annoying like they usually are to me. It took me uuuh humiliatingly long to realise you had to use Tulin's gusts of wind on the turbines even though the Sage just straight up tells you to do that lol. The Sages stuff is incredible and I'm absolutely delighted by the fact that I've done a quarter of what was the main quest in BotW but I still don't know what's going to happen at the end of the game. In BotW you just knew where the final boss was and how things would more or less go from the end of the tutorial but here I'm still kind of at a loss. Like there's the Sages but there's also the Depths and the ruins in Kakariko! That said one of my friends who's also playing it said he stumbled upon the Mastersword and the final boss at random just exploring so uh. That must have been weird.

Plus on the topic of the Rito I need to be insane about this to as many people as possible because I was a Revalink kinda girl and I won't forget my roots: when Tulin gets the Great Eagle Bow after the temple... Babe that's MY bow!!! Give it to me it's MINE!!! It does 3x28 damage and it has a great design!!! I got it by beating the dungeon and saving your village almost alone last time!!!! I knew Revali and I wam/am a Champion too!!!!!! IT'S MY BOW GIVE IT BAAACK!!! Make your OWN bow Tulin!!!!! No for real I would be so happy to make a new group for the Sages and Link and make some fabric we can all wear and he can put it on his own bow someone made for him/helped him make but you gotta hand that back baby it's mine!!!!!!

Also I've been to see the Zoras as well and I'm at the entrance of the temple but not there yet so I won't say anything about the dungeon itself but 1) god Sidon.... dreamy sigh. Also 2) Yona isn't that ugly people are just mean. She's great she's sweet and she grew on me real fast. And 3) I really do not care about Finley's appearance relating to her quest in BotW I think it's some fun background stuff but I'm disappointed they didn't give her an older model like they did for Kass' kids. Like she's been waiting for that growth spurt for years now Nintendo just let her gain a few inches!!

Anyway what I want to talk about is the way they handled BotW's existence & a little bit its themes, which I personally think is the biggest flaw of the game. No mention of the Divine Beasts no mention of the towers or the shrines there's some stuff about the Calamity but it's rare I'm sooo mad like I was there for all of it!!! Why are you not saying anything!!!! We can't be forgetting history like three-five years after it happened!! I know they didn't want new players to the franchise to be lost but it's offensive Purah doesn't mention Sheikah tech when explaining the towers it's offensive the Zora chest armour's description just goes 'made by a Zora princess for her future husband' like the Zora princess in question wasn't Link's childhood best friend and he wasn't supposed to be the future husband it's offensive there's no mention of Revali anywhere except the landing is still called Revali's Landing when he had extremely similar powers to Tulin and Teba spent his childhood talking about the legendary champion to him and he has his damn bow in his back!!!!!! I'm so mad!!!! Why Nintendo why!!!

And when I said themes I meant that I'm sad the Sages are all descendants of the original Sages. Cause see the new champions all occupied the same roles as the old champions (greatest Rito warrior, Zora royalty, Gerudo chief, Goron boss (to be)) but while the others all were descendants of the OGs Teba wasn't. It said something about the characters and their villages and what they all valued. And now we're totally forgetting Revali when he's relatively recent (100 years compared to like 5 000) and had similar powers because "what if the player hasn't played BotW". Honestly it made me feel like the shitty 180 the Star Wars sequels pulled with Rey where the message was that whoever her family was didn't matter because she got to decide her own path and - oh wait no her grandpa was Palpatine it was always meant to be fuck off. Like none of them need to be related to the OG Sages but if Sidon or Riju are it's at least coherent with the fact their tribes (?) both seem to have a hereditary thing going on with their leadership. But Tulin really doesn't!! The Ritos don't work like that!! The point was hard work!!! I'm so mad about this one. Note that I don't say anything about Daruk and Yunobo because Yunobo is sweet but Daruk's personality is flatter than a sheet of paper in BotW, especially compared to AoC. I guess at least Mipha's statue is still there and they namedrop her once really badly :)))

Anway I also went to the Depths because I need that camera and it caused me worse stress than walking around Central Hyrule at the start of BotW. So. Not hyped to have to go there more.

There that's it I think but if you have more stuff to chat about don't hesitate to answer or to hit me up 👀 👀👀