#AND WHO KNOWS MAYBE THIS IS THE BEST DECISION ANYONE HAS NEVER EVER MADE AND THEY ALL SUCCEED AND BE HAPPY

[cheapshadesfastcars]

the relationship between lewis hamilton and ferrari - especially tifosi - is going to be interesting to witness. we all know ferrari is a religion, a cult. they are the iconic red car on a racetrack. and tifosi’s passion and devotion towards their beloved il predestinato is astronomical. with all their legacy, ferrari is formula one.

but lewis hamilton is bigger than the sport itself. he is the sir lewis hamilton. the most succesful formula one driver of all time. 103 race wins. seven world titles. and even if you don’t know anything about f1, you probably have heard his name. he is massive. a legend. a saint.

we have two deities with worshipers kissing the ground beneath their feet and neither is going to settle for being a second driver. they are hungry, charles chasing his first championship, lewis his eighth. so the chances are, that the two divinities are going to clash and it could get really ugly really fast.

[gladiatorcunt]

🪺 - # WINTERGREEN CANDY CANE !!

cw: canon typical mind games, baby trapping/pregnancy, manipulation, reader’s emotionally constipated, tashi’s injury, cunnilingus, cockwarming, tit fucking, established tashi & patrick (there’s no feelings between them but they stay together for reader in the beginning), lactation, not rlly smut focused despite the tags, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, ambiguous baby daddy (even though the ending can be read a certain way), one mention of patrick x art, afab reader, there’s a thought about you being injured but it’s not serious, small time skip (?) type thing and implied future pregnancies, purposefully vague/unreliable narrator vibes

patrick and art’s descriptions are heavily insp. by these posts

consider commissioning me or leaving me a tip if you enjoyed!

They never tell you that Tashi got injured on purpose. She’s too good to fall victim to what plagues so many athletes, but you don’t know that. You, her assumed rival and yet also the poster child of sportsmanship. Rivalry can bring out affection in people, it can highlight the need for someone who can understand you better than anyone else possibly could. You’ve never been anything but soft and sweet, but you can still summon the lightning streaking across the sky in your eyes when the game begins. There’s a glow around you that Tashi craves like a moth craves the shadow behind the light they fly into.

Tashi’s fall from her pedestal was painful and the hardest decision she’s ever made, but for the first time she made it for love. The set up was the easiest part, but now she has to actually make the serve. And she can’t do it alone, she’d be stupid to be blind to how her boyfriend and his best friend’s stares linger. What she and Patrick shared fizzled out a while ago, but if she lets him go, then that signs her up for a battle she’d rather avoid. Sometimes pleasure can be derived from depriving an animal of the chance to kill rather than setting it free and giving it an opportunity to go after you first.

Who knows, maybe someday you and her can share matching injuries.

Luckily, Patrick shares the same sentiment, quickly agreeing to the arrangement and plan when he visited prior to the injury. Art’s good at downplaying his toxicity, so Tashi wasn’t concerned about if he could play the part of a “worried friend”. You’ll bust into the office while she’s getting checked out to see Art there, and the infatuation you've been harboring for him will keep you in place. The queen on the chessboard who can’t really move however they please at all. Patrick will return in a “rush to see his girlfriend”, and you’ll be too intrinscingly intertwined in their web to cut yourself loose.

You weren’t the one she was playing against, but because of your “friendship” you’re there in the audience when it all goes down. The shock of something career ending happening to someone who had the most potential of anyone you’d ever seen is staggering.

You practically run to see if Tashi’s okay, and the disappointment that you might never play with her again is palpable. But she’ll be fine, you tell yourself, she has to be.

Art has already left by the time you get to the room she’s in, doing one of his parts of the plan and allowing Tashi to put everything into motion. He’s waiting nearby, running his hands through his hair as he imagines all the ways he can comfort you. Because you will need comforting later, and your future husband knows the best remedies for your incoming sadness.

You’re standing gobsmacked in front of her bandaged knee, a confirmation that this is really it. You shrug off your bag and let it slide down your arm to the cold floor. Your mouth opens but the words don’t come out. You struggle to know what to say as Tashi’s eyes meet yours.

“What am I supposed to do now, huh? My top competitors gone up and left me hanging.” You sigh, trying to keep the kicked puppy look out of your eyes.

She’s in pain and you’re making this about you. But if you and Tashi aren’t bound by Tennis, then what are you bound by. Your friendship doesn’t go beyond the court, so what do you even share now?

There’s no big declarations, no babbling where you word vomit about glad you are that she’s okay. Neither of you are those kinds of people. The energy in the air is dead, but the situation is too serious for awkward small talk. All you two can focus on is what’s ruined, but only one of you can also acknowledge what stands to be gained.

“Take a break, then.” She says plainly, a touch too proud to beg. “For me, I mean who else am I gonna let see me like this?”

That last is an attempt to lighten the mood, to use humor to point out how you’re truly the only person she’d let see her in tatters. Your eyes widen and you freeze, but then you take a seat next to the cot and take her hand. Your smile could destroy the sun, she thinks, and even if the earth was plunged into darkness you’d make it feel like there was nothing to be worried about at all.

“Okay, just for a little bit.” You chuckle and rub her shoulder delicately.

You don’t know what on earth possesses you to say it, but you realize that the absence of a challenge would drive you insane. There’s other reasons for it, ones you’re aware and ones you’re not. But you and Tashi have a way of saying just enough without ever needing to be raw and reveal what you really mean. If there’s a coherent meaning to be found.

“A little bit” ends up being forever, your pregnancies see to that.

Tashi makes Patrick and Art hinge a match solely on who’d get first crack at it; they play so savagely that you’d think they were stray dogs fighting over moldy scraps of food. She’s there when you get morning sickness and she sends the boys out with a list of what you’re currently craving at that moment. She’ll brush your hair and do your skincare for you, rubbing your belly while everyone’s asleep and telling you’re baby that she’d better be their favorite (after you of course).

Tashi takes pride in how she pleases your pussy when you’re too swollen to put in any of the work. She licks broad stripes up your soaked cunt, nipping at your clit and getting you to cream into her mouth in no time at all. She presses sweet little kisses up and down your folds, wishing you could see her love on your pussy properly. They’ve had competitions on who can make you squirt the fastest, and Tashi will never fail to mention that she’s never lost once.

Patrick gets really into cockwarming, getting you nice and settled in his lap. He has to take deep breaths so he doesn’t immediately start thrusting, he knows he has to think about the baby. But the pregnancy has made you impossibly tight, and your hormones make you go crazy for his sweat and natural musk. You’ll whine at him to hover over your head so you suck on his heavy balls. You nag about how he needs to take better care of himself, but you’ve grown to love swallowing his tangy load while you’re suffocating in his pubes.

When that happens depends on how long either of you can hold out, Patrick will tease you about how slutty you’ve been lately and squeeze your face with one hand. His cock will twitch inside of you, snug and strangled. He'll suck Art off till both of their lips are bleeding and you’ll motorboat Tashi’s tits to pass the time. You’ll start swiveling your hips somewhere along the way and his resolve will crumble like it never existed in the first place.

That’s for later though. He fastens the ugly neon cartoonish headphones over your belly and turns on the attached mic, doing storytime with the softest grin on his face.

Art on other hand likes fucking your leaking tits, he loves when drops of milk lube up the slide of his dick in the valley between them. He’ll thumb at your sensitive nipples and flick them, cooing at you when you moan and lap at his cockhead during the split second it reaches your mouths. He’ll look after your breasts outside of the bedroom. He’ll massage them and drain them for you if they’re feeling particularly sore, two of them will be latching on either tit while the third will be sucking on your tongue. His pecs bounce with every languid roll of his hips through the pocket his hands create, and he brings your hands up to them so you’ll grab on and leave scratches.

Art gives you more cum, his literal breeder balls are too big and full, and he’ll bet that he’ll give you more children. His thrusts have a certain punchy rhyme and rhythm to them while Patrick’s are sloppily enthusiastic and feral.

Art picks out supplies for the nursery with you, supporting your vision wholeheartedly and agreeing with every color and stuffed animal you choose. He and Patrick continue with their careers, and Tashi finds a way to coach them both, they need to support you and the new member of their slightly dysfunctional family. Tashi writes up the speech you give when you announce your early and extremely unexpected retirement, and she massages your feet when you collapse on the couch from the sheer emotional exhaustion. Art pecks each of your toes as she does so. Patrick plays tic tac toe against himself in the hollow of your throat.

And when the baby’s born and they can finally see who actually got you knocked up, Tashi says that maybe Patrick will get to be happy that he’s finally won something.

- faetreides 2024. do not repost, translate, or give my works to ai

[pullupinarari]

Love you ‘til I don’t [LH]

author’s note: I’m finally back with full fics and I was so excited to write this one! Thank you to the anons who dropped these thoughts on my inbox 🫂 This is angsty, sad and has a sad ending. Ps: let’s please pretend that Abu Dhabi 2021 was actually last year, I didn’t wanted to write this with years apart 🙏🏻 hope you enjoy this!! Mwah 🩷

Read part two here!

• masterlist

wc: 3981 - english is not my first language! feedback is always appreciated

Anger, confusion, pain, doubt: Lewis’ mind has been a mess since the day he lost the opportunity to hold his 8th world title. That fateful day has changed him in some way: It has made him more cold, more thoughtful, questioning his life and all the decisions he has made so far, wondering if this is all worth it. 

Being so close to winning, just to have the trophy almost yanked from his hands at the end of the last race, devastated him, and you know that. It felt like a hurricane hitting him, making him lose his senses, taking a toll on his confidence. Since that day, Lewis grew quiet, he stopped showing up at your door with flowers and a lovely smile spreading along his face, like he used to. From that moment, he would just rather be alone with his thoughts all the time, until they would devour his whole being, drowning his brain in destructive ideas. 

In the three years that you’ve been dating, you have never seen him act this way. During the two month break after the end of the season, he wouldn’t leave his house, he wouldn’t pick up your calls. Whenever you showed up at his place, actually trying to see him, to talk to him, he would give you two word sentences in reply, his eyes fixated on the blank wall in front of him the whole time, as if he wasn’t even there, at that moment. 

And he wasn’t. At least, that’s how he felt. After what happened, Lewis didn’t want to be seen, didn't want to talk or to even hear anyone. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts, rethinking his entire life.

In the middle of the silence that he decided to merge himself in, there was this question that never ceased, no matter how hard he would try to shake it off. Was it really worth the effort to balance his two most intense passions? On one hand, he has racing - his passion since he can remember, the one thing he loves more than life, the adrenaline that makes his blood rush in his veins. But on the other hand, there’s you: the best surprise he had received from life in a long time. The light that would erupt through his bones in days surrounded by darkness, the one he sees his future with. 

But the obsession related to getting his 8th title - the one that was stolen from him, keeps growing in Lewis’ mind, becoming the only thing he can focus on. And it makes him realize that maybe, just maybe, he needs to give up on other things, in order to get what he wishes for so much. 

After two entire months filled with distance, Lewis is back at work. He’s currently in Bahrain for the start of the season, his body lying on the bed of his hotel room, while his mind makes him feel physically sore, not allowing him to get any rest while he doesn’t make a decision. 

He keeps overthinking everything, and he might try to shut his senses, but deep down, he knows he can’t complete another season by your side. He can’t do it - he can’t put all his effort on the line again, he can’t allow himself to have any more distractions this season.

He knows he needs to do this - no matter how badly it might hurt the both of you, he needs to let you go. He can’t continue having to choose between his career or his love life, and he knows that this might sound mean, but Lewis is very well aware that racing will never leave him, it’s the only constant that he has ever known in his life. 

So he takes a deep breath, grabbing his phone to type a quick text to you. He can’t help but feel his heart shrinking when he reads the amount of messages that you have sent him, to which he hasn’t replied.

“Hope you have a safe flight, love”, “I wish I could be there to support you in person, but I understand that you'd rather do this one by yourself. I will still cheer you on from here”, “I love you so, so much. You will always be my champion, Lew ❤”

You know that he has been struggling a lot lately, the end of last season really destroyed him completely, wrecked all his beliefs, everything that made it possible for him to keep going. It hurts you, of course it does. Of course it pains you to see your boyfriend pushing you away, closing all the walls of his life around himself, not even cracking a bit to let you in, to allow himself to share this dark period with his other half - that’s what you’re with him for: to help him, to pull him from the ground, back to his feet. But you love him too much, so you decide to be patient and to not give up on him, keeping your faith up, trusting that your boyfriend will come back to you once he gets his confidence back.

It’s not you, it really isn’t. It’s a problem that Lewis has with himself right now. During the past few months, he realized that he doesn’t want to be a half anymore. He doesn’t want to share his life with anyone right now, he wants to feel complete with his own company and achievements. And for that, he needs to get rid of this feeling of unsureness, of feeling like he isn’t enough, like he needs to give more and more to reach his goal - and he can’t do it while trying to balance so many different sides of his life.

Lewis really loves you, though - even if it might seem like he doesn’t, right now. His feelings are a mess but he has no doubt that you were the one for him. The one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, sharing his dream of having kids with you, of growing older together, keeping you safe and sound by his side through the years. But he simply can’t focus on that anymore - at least not for now. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want things to go this way, but I can’t do this anymore. This is the end of us” - he sends, immediately turning off his phone so he won’t read your messages, falling into the temptation of answering your calls. 

He is acting like a dick, yes. He is a coward, absolutely. You didn’t deserve any of this, and Lewis knows it. He hates to admit it, but he just doesn’t have the courage in himself to break your heart in person. He doesn’t have the strength to let the words leave his mouth, to watch your face fall while he destroys you emotionally, pulling the rug from under your feet, admiring your fall into a dark hole, surrounded by your own old ghosts - welcoming the new ones that he just created with his actions.

You are left speechless, your mouth agape while you read his text over and over again. No matter how many times you try to text Lewis, call him, try to talk to him about all this - in need to understand what happened, what triggered this reaction in him. He never replied, he never picked up. 

Leaving you alone to pick up all the pieces that he broke inside of you, silence is the only thing stringing you two along. All the questions are loud in your mind, making you hold your breath until the thoughts quiet down. Wondering what’s the point of trying anymore, of waking up everyday to a tear stained pillow, to an aching heart, stealing all the will you had to live. 

You’re not just sad. You are disappointed, devastated, wrecked. Everyday you read that message, everyday you try to call his phone, only to no avail. He doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore - and you don’t know why. “Maybe you’re just not good enough for him anymore, maybe he met someone else, someone who gives him things that you could never give. Or maybe, he got bored and you’re just not what he wants anymore” - your brain tells you. 

It’s a never ending train of self-destructive thoughts, leading you to tear down your own walls, your skin, your feelings - blaming yourself and your actions for what happened, being unable to accept what happened. 

Maybe you should have insisted more during those two months that he locked himself inside his house. Maybe you should have showed up more, maybe you should have pushed him to open up, maybe you should have made a bigger effort to help him more. Instead, you gave him space, time, distance. You let him slip through your fingers.

But Lewis knows that there was nothing that you could do to prevent this. Since that night in Abu Dhabi, he could feel it inside of him - the rollercoaster ready to fall off the abyss, destroying everyone around him. And that’s what happened: he finally crashed, breaking you and everything you represented for him. 

Cutting your thread loose, leaving you holding on to nothing, he still thinks about you everyday. He misses you, and he blames himself for all the suffering that he knows that you are going through. This situation kills him as well - fuck, he still loves you. He shouldn’t have to choose between you or his job. He shouldn’t have to cut off such an important part of his life to give his all to the sport. He shouldn’t have to die to feel alive. 

He still wishes he could pick up your calls, some tears leaving his eyes whenever he opens your conversations, reading all the messages you still leave him. All the questions you pour into your texts, the way you beg him to talk to you. He desperately wishes he was able to do it, but he can't. He is the only person holding himself back from talking to you, but in his mind, he needs to keep strong, he has to resist the urge to see you. 

He will try his best to let you go, for good. He will try to forget you and every single detail that he knows about you. He is determined to forget about everything that reminds him of you. But until he is able to do all that, he is still going to continue loving you. Lewis is going to love you until he doesn’t feel it anymore. 

Your love for Lewis was replaced by a cold ice stone, placed above your heart to freeze your feelings for him. The lack of sleep, the lack of self care that you endure on yourself is enough to make you seem unrecognizable to everyone around you. The dark bags under your swollen eyes, the sadness painting your lids, the way tiredness spreads through your body, making it impossible for you to show the most minimal reaction to anything that is happening around you. 

You’re sure of one thing: after this, you don’t want anything to do with love anymore. And while you try to recover from the biggest heartbreak you have ever been through, you decide to keep the lowest of profiles, not daring to pass near Lewis’ house anymore, not walking inside the same spots that you know that he often goes to. Trying your best for neither him nor his close ones to ever land their eyes on you ever again.

Lewis thought he would be alright, though. He firmly believed that he would overcome this situation after some weeks, and that his focus on the season would be enough. 

Turns out it’s not. Lewis never predicted that this season would be equally hard on him - from uncountable problems with his car, to struggles related to different points of view when it comes to strategies within the team, the waves of miscommunication washing over Mercedes, making everything so much harder for Lewis. 

If last season he already had his hands on the championship, this year he isn’t even close to getting a glimpse of it. And he doesn’t know how to deal with it, he can’t understand and accept the anger and frustration growing in his chest, the sensation of failure surrounding his brain making it impossible for him to keep a clear mind. 

The truth is: he isn’t used to doing all this alone anymore. It’s been months since the last text he sent you, but the more he struggles, the more he thinks of you. Having to go through such difficult times during the season without having you by his side is destroying him. 

You were his biggest support. You were the one who would put up with him through the good and the bad. You would hear his complaints, deal with his moodiness - and God knows how hard it is to deal with a moody Lewis. You would cheer him up, being the only one who had the power to put a smile on his face when he was feeling down. You would hold him, caress his skin softly while he hugged you, nestling his body closer to yours, in such need of your affection - and you would never say no to his pleas of help. 

Lewis can’t, for the life of him, forget you. He can’t let you go, no matter how tough he might act - he is still struggling and suffering from the choice he made. Some tears run down his features every night when he lays down, the bed feeling way too cold without your body next to his. His skin misses the goosebumps that your giggles would make erupt, his eyes miss all the times that he would spend analyzing all your details, he misses holding you close, pouring all the love from his heart into you. He misses you terribly, and he can’t stop denying: none of this makes sense without you by his side. 

He knows that he shouldn’t, but he decides to reach out to you, trying his luck - even after knowing damn well that he ripped your heart apart, that he acted like a total douchebag to you. But he is hoping that you will give him one last chance, he needs to make everything right again. 

“Hey, Y/N… I know that I am probably the last person on earth that you want to talk to now, but I would like to know how you’ve been?” - sent at 10:32 pm. read at 10:32 pm.

The way you almost immediately opened his message as soon as Lewis pressed “send”, made his eyes widen. He waits a few minutes, hoping to get a reply back from you, but nothing reaches his end. Not even the three dots on the corner of the screen threaten him to get an answer, because they never appear.

A sigh escapes his lips, leaving the texting to try and actually call your number now. You didn’t answer the call, and Lewis let it ring until it reached your voicemail. 

His fingers move to type again. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t the way to make up for all the shit I’ve done. But I genuinely want to talk to you, so I can explain everything that happened and why I acted like a dick to you” sent at 10:37 pm. read at 10:38 pm.

Still no sight of a possible response from you, so Lewis decides to just open the game now. You might not reply to him, but as long as you keep reading his messages, he has an opportunity to actually explain his side to you. So he doesn’t give up.

“I was dumb, very dumb. I thought I wasn’t capable of reconciling our relationship with my career, and I thought that putting an end to what we had was the right decision. Please, I hope you don’t think that I had found someone else, or that I’ve been with other girls since I left you. I haven’t. In fact, I’ve been alone, trying to deal with everything on my own. And the truth is, everything is getting too much. I don’t even feel real anymore. And you might not believe me right now, but as much as I try, I can’t forget you, baby. Fuck, I miss you so, so fucking much. I can’t do any of this without you by my side anymore. I miss your touch, I miss your scent, I miss your laughs. I just want to see you again, I want to make it right again. Please, just give me a chance. Whenever you are ready, please. Just reply to my messages or call me back, no matter the day or the time. I would blow all my plans to have the chance to talk to you again.” sent at 10:43 pm. read at 10:45 pm.

The silence he gets from your side lets him know that you really don’t want to talk to him. But you’re still reading his messages, you haven’t blocked his number yet, so maybe there’s still some hope.

“I’m racing at home, next week. You know how special Silverstone is for me, so if you’re willing to give me another chance, please show up. I’ll save you your favorite seat, hoping that the love of my life might come out to enlighten my senses again. Please, I need you so badly, baby. This doesn’t make sense without you. I love you, and please believe me when I tell you this: I never stopped loving you” sent at 10:52 pm. read at 10:55 pm.

You weren’t expecting to see Lewis’ name popping on your screen, one text after the other. Four months have passed by since he broke your heart, since that fateful night when he left you through a text, not even having the nerve to reply to your calls anymore. 

Tears paint your features while you curl your body in between the sheets of your bed, feeling all the pain coming back after reading all his words. It hurts to know why he broke up with you, it hurts to realize that he isn’t doing well either, but you are too shattered to bring yourself to talk to him again. You miss him like crazy, you would do anything to see him again, to touch him, to kiss him again - but you could never forgive him for all the things that he put you through. You’re unable to forget the immense pain that he caused to erupt in your life. 

You wish you could give him a piece of your mind, though. You wish you could let him realize how he doesn’t know how to step outside himself. And how it really isn’t your fault that he can’t deal with his problems like an adult. 

At the same time, you know that you would give in immediately. Looking into his chocolate eyes, you would confess to him about how you would give him all of you. How you would save your soul just for him, so he could be the only one able to navigate through you. 

But you decide to give him the exact same response that he gave you when you were crying your eyes out, your soul hurting as you sobbed at the loss of him without an explanation: silence.

When the weekend arrives, Lewis can’t help but feel ecstatic with anxiety at the possibility of you showing up. His eyes scan through all the seats, smiling softly as he sees his family and his close friends right above his garage, cheering him on. 

His heart grows at the sight, but he can’t help but frown when he realizes that you’re not there yet. But maybe you’ll arrive later. Or maybe you are only showing up on Sunday to watch the actual race. So Lewis decides to patiently wait until you decide to show yourself.

He waits the entire weekend. But he can’t help himself when his fingers are typing on your chat again. “Hey, today was practice day. I know you didn’t come here, but I hope you’ll change your mind and still show up. I am praying to see you. I will wait until Sunday, but even after that, I will wait the rest of my life for you, if I have to” sent at 9:53 pm. read at 10:11 pm.

“Just please, be honest with me. I know I shouldn’t be asking you this, since I wasn’t honest to you. But if you don’t plan on showing up, just tell me. Because I keep feeding myself off of the illusion that I’ll see you anytime now, and your absence is killing me. Please” sent at 10:15 pm. read at 10:27 pm.

All of the sudden, the three dots show up on your corner of the conversation, making Lewis’ heart race, sensing how his hands feel shaky as he sees the dots moving on his screen - anticipating a reply for you. 

You almost gave in. You almost reply, but after a while of you writing something to send him, you decide to delete your message, leaving him to deal with the deafening silence once again. Your action breaks his heart a little more, putting his phone to the side, realizing that there’s no point in insisting any more. 

At the end of qualification, Lewis leaves his car, celebrating his P2 with his family, a half smile showing up on his face while he looks around, his eyes wandering through the seats, the space around him - but still, nothing. 

“She didn’t even show up for like, only a bit? And then left?” - he asks his father, only to notice his apologetic look while he shakes his head at his son’s question. Lewis sighs, all the regret of his own actions pooling through his blood now, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth as he notes how his dad’s answer bothers him so much. The fact that you’re not there bothers him, hurts him. 

And with your seat being empty for the whole weekend, Lewis’ victory at his home track doesn’t feel the same. He is happy to win, yes. He is happy to celebrate with his family, yes. But his family is incomplete, because you’re not there. You are the only one that he was truly hoping to have by his side today, to celebrate this special day with. You are the reason for everything he does, but the void that you left in him, makes it all worthless now. 

Holding the trophy doesn’t feel the same if he is not hugging you close when he steps out off the podium. And while the national anthem is playing, he can’t help but let some tears show while he looks at his close ones, wishing you could just show up out of nowhere, like a magic trick, bringing you back into his life.

Lewis can’t be happy without you, his life isn’t the same without you - it’s not as bright, as bubbly. And while he holds the trophy close to his chest, he notices how cold he feels. In this moment, in front of thousands of people that are here to see him, to celebrate his victory, he realizes that when you get what you wished for, you might not want it anymore. 

And he would give up all his career, all his trophies, to just have the mere chance to look you in the eyes again. Because physically, we inhabit a space, but sentimentally, we are inhabited by a memory - and the memory of everything you and Lewis had will forever haunt him, constantly reminding him that he lost the love of his life, forever. 

[nana-gumi]

my heart belongs to.. who? g.satoru

pairings: gojo satoru x fem! reader

cw: heavy angst, mentions of death, mentions of cremation, depression, starvation, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of self-harming, please read at your own risk!! NOT PROOFREAD AGAIN HELP (i'm sleepy alr but i want to update TvT)

a/n: here's the part two of the 'anyway, don't be a stranger.' yes the title has changed. also based from a song a piece of you by nathaniel constantin. that's all, enjoy reading ;) PLS NOTIFY ME IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS!! THANK YOU <3

now that you had lost your only strength to continue living, what should you do now?

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satoru doesn't know why something in him ached when he randomly spotted his best friend, his dear best friend, suguru with you, on a random place and at a random time.

your backs were turned to him but he surely didn't like the way you cling to his best friend, it hurts him in many ways he couldn't explain but, satoru knew too well that he doesn't have the rights to feel that way, that's because every pain and sorrow that has happened to his life would be different if he didn't do that one big mistake.

ever since the divorce, satoru never saw you again. you left and none of the people you knew where you've gone to. satoru thought it was for the best that you should be away from him because the moment he feels vulnerable again, he would look for your presence, even though you weren't together anymore.

although sometimes, satoru do hope that you didn't run away from him. he wanted to fix everything, to apologize, to try things with you again. he never wanted anyone other than you. you were the only person that could see his other sides, the only person who knew him very very well, the only person he wanted to grow old with but everything was too late already.

he shouldn't have listened to you when you pushed him away and there, he would've never saw the pain look in your face when both of you separated your ways, he would've never saw the way you tried to stop yourself from crying infront of him, and he would've never saw the way you accepted to keep your wedding rings so desperately as if he would still be around you if you keep it.

satoru regretted every decision he made up until now, it was all of his fault, it was his fault why you had to leave, everything was his fault, you didn't have a choice because of him and he hoped that you've already forgave him for that. he really hoped so.

because of the heavy thoughts, satoru didn't know why his feet brought him to his best friend's apartment. maybe to ask how you were doing? are you still single? do you have a new lover now? was it suguru? are you both dating? oh gosh, he hoped not. it could be anyone but his best friend.

"(name) trusted you with it suguru, you shouldn't break your promise." satoru suddenly stopped on his tracks. that was shoko's voice, he was sure of it.

"but, don't you think he still has the right to know? satoru's the father after all."

"you're right though but—"

"what did you just say?" both eyes were widened at the sudden appearance as satoru revealed himself from hiding as he went closer to his best friends.

"when did you—"

"i'm the father? what do you mean?" satoru asked as he furrowed his eyebrows and suguru looked away from him. satoru could recognize the worried look of his best friend's face. "shoko?"

"well.." she mumbled, looking at suguru.

"are you hiding something from me?" satoru asked.

"it's not like that—" shoko said.

"then why do you both look nervous?"

"satoru." suguru called as he felt shoko's hand stop him and she shake her head left to right. "i'm sorry, but he needs to know."

"needs to know what? come on."

"satoru, you had a child, with (name)." and he couldn't be more surprised as he looked at suguru, lost and confused.

"what?"

"yeah, unfortunately, sanyu is—"

"stop." satoru said as he placed a hand on his temples. "is this some kind of prank? therefore, it's not funny."

"satoru, i'm not lying." suguru said, his expression blank.

"no. that's— that would be impossible.."

"go talk with her, satoru. heh, in the end, i couldn't keep my promise to her, huh?" suguru said as he placed a hand on his nape. "i'll send you the address, go." and satoru didn't waste any more time as he walked towards the front door but suguru stopped him again. "satoru." he called and suguru almost laughed at the worried and somehow excited look on his best friend's face. it's been a while since he saw that.

"what?" satoru said, cleary annoyed and impatient as suguru lightly smiled at him.

"be gentle with her, she's still vulnerable." satoru didn't get what suguru meant by that as he finally left, following the map where suguru had sent him.

you knew this day would've eventually come as you stand face to face with your ex-husband, he was panting and you were just about to go back home from the convenience store.

"(name).." he whispered your name as he took a step close to you, another one, and then another one as he started sprinting, embracing you in his arms and no one knew how much he missed feeling you around his arms. you let him embrace you but you stopped yourself from doing the same thing, you just stood there.

"why are you here?" you asked as satoru pulled away, his sleeve flying on his eyes as he slightly rubbed it. he was about to tear up.

"is it true?" satoru asked and he hoped you get what he meant with the question as you slowly nod your head.

"let's go inside my home first. it's getting cold here. i'll tell you everything there."

and there both of you ended up inside your home as satoru quietly inspected the surroundings. there was your picture and his son hanging on the wall.

"here." you said, handing him a glass of water. "i'm guessing suguru told you?"

"no. i actually overheard them."

"i see."

"so, where's.. um— can i see our child?" he asked and your heart ached at his question. you thought suguru told him already?

satoru didn't know what to do you when you started sobbing as you covered your face with your palms.

"you can't." you mumbled, wiping your tears as you look down on your lap.

"i understand.. but if you're—"

"you can't, satoru. we can't—"

"i know. i know you still don't trust me but i promise i will—"

"he's gone, satoru! don't you understand it? he's gone, he's dead, we can't see him anymore!" you exclaimed. everything was just overwhelming and you didn't mean to yell at him. "i'm sorry." you mumbled, once again, covering your face with your hands as you cry.

you felt his presence beside you as he wrapped his arms around you. he didn't know what else to do and satoru thought being close to you will help, being close to you will maybe help his almost shattering soul.

"i'm sorry." satoru said as he felt your arms around him. was this suguru meant when you were still vulnerable. he should've asked suguru to be more clear so there, satoru would know how to comfort you very well.

"i'm sorry, satoru. i kept him away from you when he wanted to see you. i should've pushed aside my own feelings and let sanyu meet you but i just couldn't, and now guilt is eating me up. it's my fault he couldn't see his papa on his last days. it was his last wishes but—"

"shh, stop it already. it's okay. don't blame yourself."

"i'm really sorry." no. satoru told himself he doesn't deserve your apologies and thinks everything was his fault to begin with.

"it was my fault that i couldn't be there for you. for our son. i deserve all the blame." satoru said as you slightly pulled away from him as you wiped your tears.

"it's not your fault either. sanyu was born with a weak heart. i couldn't protect him with that, no?" you said as you placed your hands on your lap.

"when we met at the parking lot, was that?.." you nodded your head in response as you recalled that day.

"that was the day after sanyu died." you mumbled and satoru couldn't help but clench his jaw. if only he knew.

satoru snapped out of his thoughts when he felt you sit up from the couch as you kneeled infront of the small table, taking something beneath it as you went back beside him.

"come, i'll show you his pictures." you said as you smiled at him and satoru couldn't help but mirror you. just for now, maybe you both could be happy, even just for now.

-

"he even cut his own hair, look!" you exclaimed, pointing a certain picture as satoru laughed with you.

he missed a lot things. when you were carrying his child, when his son was born, when his son was growing up. he wasn't there to witness everything and he almost– no, he regrets it so so much.

"i almost dyed his hair black 'cause he reminds me of you so much." you sighed as you closed the album, finally reaching its end as you place it on the table.

"we really do look like each other." satoru said as you lightly smile at him.

"you're not wrong." you responded and suddenly, it became silent.

"i'm sorry (name)." he started as you stayed still in your position. "i tried looking for you." he continued as he held your hand on his with you still avoiding to look at him. "why didn't you tell me before?" he said and that's what made you look at him. is he seriously asking you that?

"i don't know, satoru. do you?" you asked and he was completely taken aback.

"you should definitely go home now, someone might be waiting for you.." you said as you stand up from the couch, only for him to stop you by your wrist.

you looked at him for a moment and he did too. he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as your hand slowly slipped out of his grasp and you turned your back at him.

"if you want to know more about sanyu, just ask."

it's been a week since you and satoru talked things out. it felt good to be able to talk everything with him. you thought at some point that satoru will hate you even more for not informing him about his son's existence but it was the opposite.

and maybe, you shouldn't have stalked his social and there you wouldn't stumble on his ex' account, because you never knew that it would hurt you this much, that it would hurt your already, broken heart.

you felt some type of jealousy seeing his family be happy in those pictures. they even went on a trip, on different places and many more. satoru looked happy. maybe if those mistakes were prevented back then, it would be you, him and sanyu.

there were missed calls and unread messages from suguru and shoko but you didn't have the energy to reply to each of them.

you just wanted to lay in your bed all day, almost wishing that sanyu would knock at your door asking for a help with his assignment, but no, it wouldn't happen anymore. you were all alone now, you'll never be able to feel happiness again, everything felt too empty for you to feel any type of emotions except for sorrow.

-

your eyes slowly opened when you felt something cold in your forehead.

"you're finally awake."

"what happened?" you asked as you tried to sit up from the bed, only for satoru to push you back.

"don't stand up yet. you passed out on the living room. you've been sleeping for a day already. are you eating? don't starve yourself." he talks too fast that you almost didn't catch his words.

"why are you here?" you asked.

"well.. i guess i want to know more about sanyu." he said as he hesitantly looked at you. "i'm sorry for walking around your house without your permission but, i saw a small shrine on the room beside here. is that sanyu's?" satoru asked as you nod at him.

"i forgot to tell you but i had sanyu cremated."

"okay, i understand."

"you can visit him anytime if you want."

"that would be great. thank you."

satoru did visit once a week. you noted that it was always on thursdays, just like suguru had told you that satoru's always available on thursdays.

your house would be messy if satoru wasn't around but if you knew that he'll be visiting, you'll force yourself to clean the house. you didn't want him to see you in worst state again, not anymore. he didn't have to know that you were starving yourself, that you would only eat when he brings you food.

he doesn't need to know. not that he would care, right? satoru is not in the position to care for you after all. he only visits for his son, it's wasn't because of you. maybe you should stop being delusional and face the reality that satoru and you couldn't work together anymore. he already has a family on his own. he has nothing to do with you anymore. a part of you is still hoping though but then again, he doesn't need to know.

there was a time where satoru visited you on tuesday. it was unexpected that he caught you almost hurting yourself. house and room messy.

it hurts him to see you like this. he couldn't help but to compare the old you to the you now. a big difference. he doesn't see you smile anymore. he doesn't hear your laugh anymore.

"you needn't to hurt yourself, okay? tell me if i can help in any way." he said as you sit on the couch, knees close to your chest as you stare at nothing.

your thoughts was playing with you because all of the sudden, you recalled everything that has happened between you and satoru. his mistakes, his wrongdoings, his happy family. your blood started to boil and you couldn't help but blame him in your mind. that it was his fault why sanyu have to suffer.

"hey, i know it still hurting you but—"

"you know nothing!" you exclaimed which took him off guard. he was unfamiliar with that look in your face.

"(name), calm down." he said as he tried to reach for you, only for you to slap his hand away.

"shut up! don't order me around! can you just leave my house?" you yelled. "this is all your fault." you mumbled and satoru heard it loud and clear. you weren't wrong though. "leave! i don't want to see you anymore. i hate you."

-

and even if you push him as many times as you want, satoru would not lose hope. he still visits you and sanyu. though he took note of the changes in your mood sometimes.

satoru visited late than usual. you already fell asleep on the couch. you swore you weren't waiting for him or something. it just happened that you got tired from the cleaning the house.

after the usual visit of you and satoru in your child's room both decided to eat the food he brought.

"sorry i was late. i had a hard time choosing a ring—" he cuts off himself with a fake cough as he looked away from you. "anyway, sorry for making you wait."

"it's fine. thank you for bringing me food."

"of course."

today, you seemed a lot more good now. satoru can notice you smile everytime. he didn't want to assume that you're smiling because of him though.

"is there something wrong?" he asked when he noticed you staring at him.

"i'm fine. thank you for visiting." you said as you walked satoru at the front door. "oh wait." you said, walking back to your room as satoru stood still on the front door and you went back after a minute.

"take this." you said, handing him a certain necklace.

"for me?" satoru said, taking the necklace in your hand.

"i asked them to put a little bit of sanyu ashes inside. you can't open that anymore since they locked it." satoru's eyes widened at your words.

"thank you." he said as you smiled at him.

"here, let me help." you said, as you wear the necklace on him. "sanyu will always be by your side, wherever you are." you said as you smiled and suddenly, satoru turned around, his face was too close to you and you think he could almost hear on how loud your beating heart is.

you awkwardly took a step back as you cleared your throat to ease the awkward tension.

"thank you (name), really. i will treasure this." he said as you smiled at him, for the last time.

"sorry for yelling at you sometimes, satoru."

"don't worry, i understand. just let me know if you want to release some stress. i'll try my best to help." he said and despite of answering, you only smiled, again.

"thank you, satoru. sanyu was the best son i could ever have." you said and he suddenly placed a hand on your head. like how he always does before as he leaned to your level.

"thank you for raising our child." he said as you look at him with widened eyes and you couldn't help but frown as you place a hand close to your chest.

stop giving me false hope, satoru.

"take care." you couldn't help but tear up as you whispered those words as satoru left. be happy, always. even if it's without me.

"i had a hard time choosing a ring." you mumbled, mimicking his words.

you smiled but what you were feeling inside was opposite. maybe you shouldn't expect too much because in the end, if reality didn't reach your expectations, it'll just hurt you more.

it really hurts to think that you made a man for another woman but, it is what it is. you're just glad that satoru seemed to cherish his new family now.

he did changed a lot, huh.

"satoru."

"be quick, suguru. i'm a bit busy right now." satoru said as he heard his best friend sigh at the other line.

"did (name) said something to you?" satoru immediately sat properly on his office chair when he heard your name.

"nothing much. she gave me a necklace though, why?"

"i see. look, if you have time today come in her house."

"why? what happened?"

"do you have a time today, at least?"

"i guess i could try." satoru said. "is there something wrong with (name)." satoru asked and there was a long pause from suguru's end before he answered.

-

satoru went back from what it seemed like a long trip as he sat on his office chair.

he stared at a certain velvet box on his table. his black glasses was discarded as he lightly move the office chair left to right.

he did had a hard time choosing a ring. he doesn't know of you still like the same design. did you change your preferences?he doesn't know that's why satoru bought a limited edition ring for you. he was told that the ring brings luck and now he just wanted to throw the ring in the middle of an ocean.

"brings luck my ass." he muttered. he was too tired to think. he refused to believe suguru's words because he just saw you 2 days ago. was suguru playing pranks on him again?

"she's been found in her room. unalive." suguru's words kept repeating inside his head like a broken radio as he clutched the necklace on his hand.

he was supposed to ask you to start over again, to try things out again, from there, he swore that he wouldn't do the same mistake again but it was all too late now.

maybe the universe didn't want you and him to be together again that's why they took you away from him, his son too. he knew he did mistakes back then but was it too much that they have to take his family away forever?

yeah, this must be his punishment for doing those unforgiving things to you.

-

"suguru, do you think (name) would agree if i ask her to start over again?"

"there's nothing wrong with trying, satoru, but know that people tend to change. don't be surprised when she doesn't want you in her life anymore." suguru said as his best friend kept quiet. "but what about them?"

"who?"

"your ex and your son."

"i couldn't care less about her, but i still cherish sanyu since he grew up with me, even if he's not my legal child."

"you don't really want to tell (name) about it?" suguru suggested and satoru couldn't help but think if he could do what his best friend is suggesting.

"what's the point? will it change everything?" satoru mumble, an ache going straight to his chest. "it hurts for me to say this but i only accepted to raise sanyu because i couldn't stop thinking of (name), of having a family with her. i forced myself to believe that he's our son. i didn't even know that (name) is actually carrying our child."

"why don't you just sue your ex for paternity fraud?"

"there's no point in it. she's still sanyu's mother."

"you're too nice, satoru."

no, he wasn't. in fact, he almost sent his ex to prison but he couldn't stop thinking of how sanyu will react if he found out that his mother was sent to jail by his father. he was too young for those things.

but satoru asks himself, why? why does he have to do these things? why does he have to think of how sanyu would feel? they weren't relatives anyway. he could take everything he spent for raising sanyu, he could just leave them to live their own life, but he just couldn't do it.

"if only i could go back in time." satoru mumbled and suguru didn't know what do respond to that anymore. if only.

tags: @skylarlyn823 @mo0nforme @mor-pheus @he4rts444mi @bubblysunwoosworld @arieltate @imaniitheoneee @kaiiriiis @ichikanu @witchbybirth @yoimiya-m @hojoslutoru @itsvalomfg I COULDN'T TAG THE OTHERS SORRY TvT

[sinstear]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ— IN YOUR ARMS, WHERE IT’S SAFE.

been thinking a little too much about abby after santa barbara. a once confident, brutal yet adventurous and tactical woman who didn’t let anyone get in her way, to a reserved shell that flinched or panicked whenever something bad happened around her. how her only thought is to make sure lev is safe and protected from the world they’re running from. every night that she goes out to look for extra supplies has her paranoia heightened, making sure to look over her shoulder every step she takes, not wanting to take any chances.

those late nights that she goes without lev to find more food, extra supplies, leaving them back at the small shack they called home, alone, plays on her mind the entire time. worried and anxious if she made the best decision to go by herself, but the other part of her brain didn’t want her to stress so much, she had food and drink to find, to make sure neither of them got sick, to never have that fear or feeling of dying again. 

the place is empty. quite. once, that much quietness had abby on high alert, looking around for any sign of danger, but now? now she was rushing, pushing herself to just find what she came here for. she tries to ignore the way her brain already wants to leave, and keeps pushing herself forward. she promised lev she would be back with food, or at least something for them to eat, and she wasn’t about to break that promise because of her high paranoia. she’s not by herself anymore.

the store clearly had been ransacked hours before, but abby was used to doing patrols and going out for extra supplies, so she knows there is always something left on the shelves, in the drawers, or even tucked away hidden. wiping her forehead with her arm, abby slowly makes her way around the isles while trying to make as quiet of sounds as she possibly could. she didn’t really prepare herself like she would have done years ago, maybe that’s her own fault, but right now getting back to lev alive and well was the second thing on her mind. finding something to eat was the first. 

her stomach grumbled at the singular thought of eating something that wasn’t bread she found a few days ago and sighed softly at the sight of a couple tinned food cans on the shelf near one of the back exit doors. thankful that whoever was here, was in a rush to get what they could to not realize they had practically saved her night by leaving behind a little something that is good enough for lev to eat.

her feet carry her slowly, she’s tired, she’s been walking around for a good few hours to find a place, and now that she’s found one, she can feel the exhaustion in her body. the ache in her bones and muscles that haven’t gone away in months. one good nights rest is all she asks for, but will she ever get that? will there be a day where she doesn’t have to look over her shoulder, and relax? even she doesn’t know.

by the time she gets to where she wants, abby doesn’t have enough time to react, she just cowers away into herself when another hand touches hers abruptly, which were reaching for the same canned food she spotted. those eyes go wide when she notices a woman looking at her, then the food and then back at abby with a small curve in her lips. “sorry, was in my own world then, did you want it?”

nothing seems to come out her mouth as she just stares. slightly scared, and the rest of her somewhat calm. she doesn’t know why, but she was.

“didn’t mean to scare you,” they whispered, offering their name which causes abby to relax enough that she can put her arms back down, stop protecting herself to respond with her name.

“abby.”

“s’pretty name. abby” you test out her name, another smile appearing on your face as you do. “nice to meet you,” you lift your hand out towards her and you feel your heart break when she flinches back away from you. “oh, no, i won’t hurt you,” you frowned, shaking your head sadly.

abby’s at a loss for words, really, she doesn’t know what to say or do while you look at her with such a soft look that makes her feel like she is going to explode from how gentle you were, and how slow you approached her. “i promise, if you need the food, it’s yours” you offered again, holding the canned food out for her.

“you got it first,” was the second thing that came out her mouth. looking at you, analyzing you silently.

“are you here alone?”

“i have lev at,” she paused, eyebrows furrowed in a tight frown. “at home. so i’m just trying to find something for them to eat”

“would you,” it was your turn to stumble over your words as she wiped her face again, huffing at herself softly. “want to stay with me? i have warm water, you could have a shower, it’s hard to find that lately, i can make you something to eat. i have a room you can sleep in, if you want. you don’t have to, i would just feel safer knowing you are safe” you rambled, waving your hands around.

the blonde is at a loss for words again, she’s met a few groups of people since that night, but none of them had ever offered to help her and lev. let alone offer to let them both stay in their house, and you could tell she was fighting with herself at the sudden stare she was giving you. more confused and terrified this time. “i can’t ask you to do that. we will be okay”

“you’re not asking me, m’offering you to stay with me. for however long you want. there’s no pressure, but company is always nice. i would really like company, especially when finding that company is really hard now”

“i- we would have to go back home, and get lev first, and make sure they are comfortable staying with you. i’m fine with it, but i’m all they have left. we are all each other have now”

abby’s heart thumps in her chest at your sudden bright smile, and nodded up at her. “s’okay, there’s no rush. as long as you are both comfortable with it. oh, your food!” you laughed, looking away as your face heated up. “please take it, you had it first”

“you had it first, actually.” abby laughed softly.

the sound had your heart thumping loudly in your chest this time.

taking the tins from your hands carefully, abby finds herself blushing as your fingers graze hers before pulling away just as quickly with a clear of her throat. “shall, shall we go?”

“lead the way, abby”

your house wasn’t one that she assumed you would live in. she expected something small, or tiny, not a complete farmhouse. and you offered to let her and lev stay here? after quickly agreeing, saying where they lived was too small for the pair of them, and multiple panics about abby taking a little longer than usual, the blonde reassured she would always come back and this was a chance to change their life. have something they haven’t had in a while. comfort and safety.

abby’s cautious of when she steps foot in the small home that you’ve made for yourself. her once bright eyes, now almost lifeless, bore into everything. silently making sure nothing is going to pop out and hurt lev here. when you notice the worried look on her face, you take a small step towards her, a soft smile on your lips and you simply hold your hand out for her. “i won’t hurt you, i promise” you assure her, even though you don’t have to. you’ve already been good enough to let her and lev stay here, so she just nodded at you, looking at your hand before holding hers out for you. slightly flinching when you hold onto hers softly. “it’s okay,” you smiled again. your smile suddenly becomes her favorite sight.

even after you’ve made something for them to eat, she watches you closely, especially with the way you rub lev’s shoulder when you place both bowls of stew on the table and that if there is anything else they want to eat or need, just tell you and you will gladly make it or get it for them. she still watches you when you make your way into the kitchen. and there’s a sudden drop in her stomach upon hearing the latch of the back door opening that has her bolting off her chair, looking for you with wide eyes.

“hey, i was just going to— abby? what’s wrong?” you frowned in your spot, noticing her now sweating and crimson face looking down at you. “hey,”

“where are you going?” she found herself asking, a little too rushed for her liking.

“i’m just going out to hang the laundry,” you smiled tiredly, chewing your bottom lip gently. “m’not going anywhere. do you want to come with me? lev is happily eating in the living room, so you’re more than welcome to join me. you are a little taller than me so, you can hang up some stuff for me”

abby doesn’t hesitate to agree. her sudden urge to be around you constantly peaks through as she turns around a final time to just check on lev, who was reading one of the books you left out and eating away at their food. with a final nod to herself, abby rushes herself through the small kitchen and through the back door, where she finds you already hanging up some of the cleaned clothes with that soft smile still on your face.

“need help?” abby finds herself smiling this time. a real one.

“always. get over here”

the blonde already knew she could trust you. just by how gentle you were with her. not pushing her to talk about something you knew was making her uncomfortable. you didn’t ask about the scars on her arms when you saw them, you just simply pressed a soft kiss to the ones on her hands and continued your task. she asked you about your life, and how you got here, which you gladly shared. with each word you gave, it drove her closer to you. she continuously found herself not even doing what you asked her and simply watched the way you spoke, the way your eyes lit up at the mention of something you loved doing, or how you spoke with your hands at times.

you still noticed the way she would cower away or flinch you when touched her as the night came and the stars shone in the sky, or a loud noise rang out but for the most part, abby apologized and said it wasn’t you, it was trauma that she’s been dealing with, still dealing with and you constantly reassured her that it was okay. she doesn’t need to apologies for being jumpy with certain things. the one time she let you touch her without flinching, was when she dropped the laundry basket because you had slammed one of the chicken cages shut, and rushed towards her and held her hand tightly, without another thought you rubbed the back of her neck comfortingly and and smiled against her temple. assuring her that everything was okay.  

that same night, when lev is finally at peace and can get a good rest, she is the one who can’t fall asleep, like usual, she finds herself knocking on your bedroom door, thanks to the soft bed lamp shining under it. stumbling and blushing once you yell a soft ‘come in’ and she finds you curled up on your bed, reading a book. “you okay?” you ask, closing the book, leaning over to your side table and placing it down carefully before looking over at her again. “can’t sleep?”

“no,” abby pauses, chewing on her bottom lip harshly. “can i stay in here with you?”

“of course, come here”

and she could cry at how you open your arms for her.

the second she practically slumps her body on yours, and you rest one of your hands on her back, and the other instantly goes to her hair, she breaks. quiet and reserved abby cries in your arms when you, the first person to see her like this, thread your fingers through her hair, whispering against her forehead how she’s still so effortlessly beautiful. she doesn’t say anything though, she doesn’t have to, she just lets you comfortingly scratch her scalp at crazy hours of the night because you know she’s struggling to fall asleep peacefully.

“m’not gonna let anything or anyone hurt you ever again, okay?” you promised. hand slowly rubbing comforting circles on her back under her bed shirt. “you’re both safe here. i promise to protect you both with my life. you are safe, everything is okay”

for the first time in years, abby could finally close her eyes that night. both her and lev were safe. the safest she’s felt in a long time. because with your arms around her, and lips against her forehead in a hushed promise that you were here for her, she felt better. she felt content. she felt at home. 

your promise of protection meant more to her than she could ever tell or show you.

[livinghalfway]

Younger Years Pt. 6

Masterlist

Summary: Damian gets temp de-aged to 6yrs old; cue him asking where his twin is. This is how everyone finds out about Danny's existence. Word Count: 2162

Danyal keeps to the shadows as he enters the town. He doesn't know where he is or if anyone that could recognize him is here. The last thing he needs right now is for Grandfather to know his location; or Damian. Which is not a thought he would ever think of. While the two of them certainly had their differences, Danyal never thought they would end like this. He should have though he realizes; their story was only ever going to end with a tragedy.

Grand- Ra's has made his displeasure of Danyal known for quite some time now so it shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did when he and Damian were forced to fight. What was surprising though is just how easily his brother accepted it.  

Was he not worth fighting for?

He was prepared to stand against Ra's with Damian at his side knowing full well that it wouldn't have ended favorably for them. It seems his brother didn't feel the same way though. 

Damian and him weren't brothers anymore though were they? He wasn't an al Ghul after all. Danyal al Ghul is dead from this point forward; he's just Danyal right now.

As the sun begins to set lower and lower it makes Danyal feel more comfortable with exploring the town's streets more in depth. The first thing he needs to do is find a place he'll be able to safely lay low for the night. If he can do that then he'll be able to sit and think more clearly about what his plan for the future is. 

What Danyal doesn't expect though is that while making his way through an alley he would have a run in with a girl with bright orange hair who looked to be a couple years older than him. While his first instinct is to immediately eliminate this unknown threat he decides to instead push that feeling down when he realizes that this girl would stand no chance against him in a fight. 

He's not going to let Ra's training control his life anymore; not everything needs to end with spilt blood. So against everything he's ever been taught Danyal runs, or attempts to at the very least. 

The girl on the other hand decides to chase after him instead of simply letting him melt into the night. 

"Hey! Hey wait!" She calls out after him.

Best to get this situation over with now. Danyal abruptly stops and turns to the girl, "What do you want?" 

"Are you ok? Do you need help?"

Which is honestly a fair question honestly now that he thinks about it. He is, after all, still mildly damp, his shirt is torn with blood stains, and overall Danyal would say he looks similar to that of a stray cat. "I'm fine. Leave me alone, and go back to wherever it is that you need to be."

"You look hurt though. I can bring you some bandages, or water!" It's obvious that she's not going to simply let this go anytime soon, After a few moments of silence though she hesitantly offers her name. "I'm Jazz, what's your name?"

"Danyal." He finally answers after a few seconds. 

"Daniel?" 

"…Yes" Everything about his old life is gone from this point forward. Might as well start with a new name. They sound similar enough anyway it won't be a difficult transition to make for himself.

It doesn't take a lot after that for Jazz to convince him to accompany her back to her home. To this day he'll blame it on the exhaustion he was feeling. At the same time though he knows he made the best decision he could have going with his, now, sister. He doesn't know what his life would be like right now if Jazz hadn't followed after him and- 

"-ny! Danny!" Snapping back into reality he sees both Sam and Tucker looking at him questionably.

"Yeah, um yeah! I'm sorry, what were you saying Sam?" 

"I was asking what your thoughts on the new planetarium Wayne Enterprises just opened are. It was apparently something Damian Wayne himself advocated for. Maybe we'll have to plan a group trip to Gotham to check the place out." Sam repeats herself with a dramatic eye roll before her face softens out with a more gentle tone in her voice. "It might be good for you to get away for a bit, away from your parents." 

When it's clear Danny doesn't show any sign of answering right away Tucker takes the moment to try and lighten the mood, "It seems even your celebrity look-a-like is interested in space!" 

Damian was never interested in space that Danny knew for a fact based on how many times he would have to beg his brother to go and watch the stars with him. His twin always did it though, no matter how much of a fuss he put up Damian would join, and listen to him explain the stars. 

"Maybe you're right Sam," He can't help, but let out an exhausted sigh, "Maybe getting away will help them come to terms with everything. I think we should avoid Gotham though; that's basically me asking for trouble. I hear Central City is pretty this time of year though." 

Danny knows that his friends will assume that avoiding Gotham will be about not wanting to get involved with any hero/villain problems, but really it's so that he doesn't have to worry about running into any of the Wayne's, specifically Damian. He'd sworn off the city entirely when he first learned about his brother's dramatic arrival. Danny has long accepted that this would mean never meeting his father. 

“How- how are they doing now? Do you need to stay here again tonight?” Tucker hesitantly asks. It seems like all their conversations eventually lead them to the topic of his parents nowadays. 

“Thanks man, but no. I’m going to be going back tonight. Everyone in the house has been avoiding the topic, and staying away isn’t going to help fix anything either.” It wasn’t easy being in that house though. It’s tense everytime he interacts with his parents. The looks they always give him, as if he’s just some stranger living in their home now. 

At the same time though he can tell that they want to understand, to learn. They haven’t gone hunting since they found out, and removed any kind of weapon from the house; securing them up tightly down in the lab. 

Danny doesn’t quite fault his parents for how they're acting right now. Years and years of research only to learn that everything they have built their lives on is a lie. At the same time though he hoped that all of this could have been a much easier situation for everyone. 

“Before we can plan any summer trip away though we need to figure out a way to deal with the GIW. They’ve been much more active lately, and I’ve seen more and more trucks leaving Amity this past week.” Danny needed to talk about anything other than his parents right now. 

“You think they’re setting up shop somewhere else now?” Tucker questions, already pulling out his laptop. 

“Where would they even move to? They’re already in the most haunted city in America.” Sam gives Tucker a slight nudge, “Mind looking up the second most haunted city?” 

"New Orleans." 

"Yeah, that tracks." Sam peers over Tucker's shoulder to look at his screen, "Think you can finally hack your way into their systems?" 

"You're only talking to the second greatest hacker," He cracks his knuckles before beginning to type, "I'll have us inside in a matter of minutes, and with what Technus and I have been doing lately they won't have any clue we were even there to begin with." 

Despite already knowing what his friend is going to say he still asks, "Second? Who's the first then?”

"If you don't know Danny then I haven't been talking about them enough. Don't worry though I already have a presentation I can show you about why Oracle is the greatest hacker." 

"Nope, I'm good." 

"That's what I thought next time don't-" Tucker cuts himself off as he shouts, "I'm in!" 

Immediately, both Sam and him are moving to see the screen. "Search for anything that talks about moving or new locations."

"Really think it's gonna be that easy?" Sam asks, "That obviously marked down for anyone to find?" 

"If their filing system is anything like my parents, then yes." 

She seems to be thinking about it for a moment before nodding to herself, "That's fair." 

"Got a match with 'new location'. Anyone want to place a bet on where they're going before I open it up?" Tucker grins as his finger hovers over the search hit. 

"Hopefully somewhere cool since Danny is definitely going to drag us there to check the place out." 

"Well you're free to stay behind and miss out on all the fun then, Sam." He laughs at the playful glare she shoots at him, "Open it up Tucker! Let's find out where these guys are going." 

With one click a file was opened and right there at the very top it read: Protocols for new location — Gotham. 

The world really does hate him, Danny thinks to himself. Of all the places the GIW could have picked they just had to pick the one place he desperately wanted to avoid. It was already going to be hard enough staying off the GIW's radar, and now he'll have to plan to stay off the bats' as well. Which Danny was already admitting to himself was a plan doomed to fail from the start. 

He needs to stop the GIW though, "Does it mention anything about what they’re wanting to do there?"

Tucker nods and points to a specific area to screen, "It seems like they’re looking for something called a revenant that’s been detected in the area. They mention it several times throughout all this. Priority number one it’s been listed as."

"Revenant?" Sam asks. 

"A person who has returned from the dead." Danny answers her, "Good to know that all those books Clockwork had me read are actually helpful." 

"And this is different from what you are, how?" 

"I'm both alive and dead right now, this revenant died and is now alive again. They don't quite have a full core though — more of a baby core — which I guess is enough for the GIW to want to capture them." It seems not even being completely alive again is enough to keep the GIW away.Danny can't help but think about how many people they must have taken.

As if sensing his thoughts Tucker turns from the screen, and places a hand on Danny's shoulder, "Are you sure you want to get involved with whatever they’re doing in Gotham?" 

"I- I need to at least warn whoever this revenant that they're being hunted. To give them information about who is after them. I would have given anything to have a friendly stranger answer all my questions." He admits. 

"Seems like we'll be going to that planetarium after all then, huh?" 

Danny is honestly a little shocked at the laugh that creeps out of him, "I guess we will won't we? Might as well see the sites while we're there." 

"Oh! Maybe you'll run into your doppelganger too!" Tucker exclaims, "I'd love to see just how similar you two are in person." 

"I hope not, it's bad luck after all to meet your own doppelganger. Combine that with my Fenton luck, and you can bet on it that if I see Damian Wayne I'm running in the opposite direction. I don't need that in my life right now." Danny assumes that his friends think that he's joking, but if he does run into his twin he's booking it.   

It doesn't take them long after that to get a semi figured out plan sorted. They have a vague idea of where to find the revenant due to the file, mostly likely to be found in a place called Crime Alley. How they're going to find their mystery person he doesn't know, but Danny is hoping that dead recognizes dead will handle that part. 

The hardest part of all this is getting their parents' permission. It's a bit of a back and forth with getting Tucker and Sam's parents to agree to their impromptu travel plans, but they agree in the end. 

Danny on the other hand hesitates over contacting his own parents, and so he doesn't. He sends a text to Jazz to let her know the full situation around why he's going to be spending some time in Gotham. With how little his parents and him are interacting they might not even know he was even gone in the first place. 

With the soonest flight booked the trio this time tomorrow afternoon are boarding the plane to Gotham. 

[cupcakeinat0r]

Your middle-aged, loser Genetics professor who has a dad bod <3

Part 8

Miguel usually starts his day off by preparing a dark cup of coffee immediately after finally peeling himself out the bed. With droopy eyes and a five o’clock shadow, his husky figure stumbles into the kitchen, thirsty for caffeine. As he waits for the machine to do its magic, he’ll maybe run his hand through his dark, peppered, slept-on hair or take a moment to clean his glasses with the fibers of his sweats. Once the cup is prepared, the fresh scent of grinded coffee beans in the air, he’ll lean against his kitchen counter, sipping happily from his world’s best brain mug. He’ll relax for a moment, thinking about the material he’s planned for the day. Once he’s done, he’ll wash his cup, and start getting ready.

He left the suit about three years ago, taking up the job as professor of genetics and biochemistry at around the same time.

He’s been happy with his life here. It’s quiet. It’s peaceful. It’s simple. Everything he wanted. All the domesticity that was missing in his life had been rediscovered once he hung the mask. It’s been the best decision he’s ever made.

He didn’t think things could get better until you came along. This gorgeous, smart, funny, sweet person that had him wrapped around their finger. And given his stature and age, he never would have thought you’d fallen, too.

So this morning looks a little different, and every morning since he’s met you, for that matter.

Miguel gets up from bed faster now, with you on his mind. Once he makes his way into the kitchen for his fix of coffee, he’s reminded of the dream, possibly a pornographic one, he had about you. He’s like a horny teenager all over again, with an ache between his legs that, now, only you can inflict on him, and it’s there every morning.

Miguel now uses the time that it takes for the coffee to drip to shoot you a good morning text, accompanied by multiple heart emojis. And of course, he takes a little longer to get ready in the mornings just because he wants to make sure he looks his absolute best for you.

Today, while sipping on his café, he remembers the conversation you two had. It was when you two had gone to his office after the library. And then he remembered the things he shared with you about his past life; how amazingly you took the dump of lore. Only a higher power would know what anyone else would’ve done or said after hearing things like that. He smiles to himself as he thinks about your one and only question/response to it all:

“Are you happy?”

The response itself was all that he needed to see if his feelings for you were valid, and these feelings have become the strongest thus far. Miguel doesn’t want to jinx it, but he thinks what he’s feeling is something a tad bit more serious than a simple crush, and that both excites and terrifies him.

While he gets ready for the day, he then thinks about the conversation prior to that. He meant everything he said last night about not having sex, but at the same time, he would want nothing more than to show you how much of a good man he can be to you, both in daily life and in bed. Even though he’s hard at the very thought of you, he also wants you to feel safe more than anything. Being with you is far more important than the needs of his dick.

The fact that you’re his student also sort of weighs in as well. Getting caught in a professor/student scandal on the last week of classes before you receive your masters would be disastrous. Thankfully (and surprisingly), no one has been suspicious of y’all this semester.

Honestly, Miguel is just looking forward to Summer, because for him, that means he gets to take you out and enjoy you every chance he gets.

<3

For the last few days of classes, you tend to your exams and Miguel busies himself with his own work. You guys haven’t really been with each other, with the exception of passing each other in the halls. It hasn’t been easy on you at all, and even more so on Miguel. Let’s just say his office door has been spending more time locked than unlocked, and not to score papers. Thankfully, the walls are thick.

The day you take Miguel’s exam is the very last day of classes, and at this point, both of you are antsy to not only see but just feel each other. The tension in the air is thick, the text messages have become spicier, and on multiple occasions have the phone calls been so close to just becoming pure phone sex, but you and Miguel had to keep your distance. Just for this week, and afterward, y’all can do anything you desired. For now, you have to settle for the small touches and occasional eye contact during the exam.

That night when he dropped you off at your place, you half joked about him giving you a perfect score purely out of bias.

“I would never. I take my exams very seriously, for your information.” He responded smugly, his hairy forearm on the door of his car where the window would be. “Besides, you’re far too smart for that.“ His voice softens toward the end of his sentence, that lovesick smile he always gawks at you with on his face.

“I’m serious, Mig. I want an accurate grade.” You match his volume, leaning down onto the car window, face to face with him.

“Mama, I promise. I’m sure you’ll get a perfect score anyways, but on the off chance that you don’t,” he leans closer to, his breath on yours, “Maybe I’ll just have to give you more private sessions during the Summer.” You chuckle against his lips once they meet yours.

“You’re such a horndog.” The words are muffled by his lips and tongue. “Only for you.” He mumbles, unable to keep his mouth off of yours. Miguel really was hot n bothered by you all the time, but honestly, you wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s your little loser after all.

The glances and “accidental” brushing of hands had definitely occurred before and during the exam. Emotionally, it kind of took y’all back to the beginning of the semester, when the feelings were first bubbling. Alas, you had to stay focused. Compared to your peers, you practically flying through it. Even though you spent half the time mingling during them (and making out), the tutoring actually helped in the end.

When it was time to submit your exam, you gave him a knowing look. All Miguel does is give you a smile, but one that was genuine and sweet. One that reassured you in the sentiment that he was going to score you accurately.

At the end of the day, you didn’t even care about what score you got, as long as Miguel nor you get in trouble. That’s all that mattered to you.

<3

It’s later in the day, and you’re in your dorm. Tomorrow is your big day. The day you walk along the stage and take your master’s in your hand; physical proof of your knowledge and hardwork. You were also thinking about Miguel and what he’s up to, but what’s new.

You were thinking about how after your graduation, Miguel will no longer be your professor and you his student. You would just be two people who were absolutely crazy about each other, and you were looking forward to that.

You get a text from Miguel.

Missing my baby. Just thinking of you.

Aw, I miss my big teddy bear, too. What you up to?

Finished about 30% of these papers. Need to take a break, though. What if I came and picked you up?

And go where?

Home

I’m already at home, ya goof

I mean my home, but you absolutely don’t have to. We could go to the library or whatever you want.

No! I’d love to come over.

You sure?

Of course, I wanna see what other books I can steal from you

Only in this for the books, I see. Ouch.

Don’t be dramatic, you know that’s not true

Do I?

You gonna pick me up or not?

Putting my shoes on.

He had you kicking your feet. You were unsure if it was a good idea, but that didn’t stop it from being an extremely enticing one. You were just worried about someone seeing you enter his home, but otherwise, you would love to see where he lives, despite making the deal about not seeing each other until after graduation. This whole time, you’ve only gotten familiar with his office, and that’s only one small part of him. You just couldn’t wait any longer to be near him, and besides, classes are technically over.

<3

“So you’re half spider?” You and Miguel relax in his living room. You scour his book shelves while he makes you a drink. His place is exactly how you imagined it. It’s a balance of sharp and cozy, like him.

“I know, not the most exciting of confessions.” Miguel’s sarcasm seeps through his speech and it makes you huff. Such a sass master.

“I’m being for real. I think that’s amazing and all, but I’m glad you chose to leave that life.” Your eyes are still on the spines of his books when you start to hear heavy footsteps coming your way. He’s just as excited to be near you as you are, if not, more.

“Me, too,” Miguel wraps his arms around your waist from behind, pressing a kiss on your head, “or else I would’ve never met you.”

“Aren’t you lucky?” You playfully comment, getting on your tip toes to kiss him, his pouch rumbling against your torso from his chuckling. “Definitely. Without you, I was starting to lead on a pretty lame life.” Miguel humored at himself. He knew that although going to teach classes, returning back home, and repeat was a pretty peaceful routine, he also knew it could be a boring one at times.

You lean your head back in exaggerated astonishment, “Why would you say that? You’re the coolest person I know, and not because you were spider-man,” you run your hands up and down his chest as you list off his cool factors, “You’re a genius, you’re a family man, you’re funny, you’re also an Austen man, what more could I ask for?”

Miguel looks down at you, his muse, his angel, his everything. “Thanks, mamita. I’m proud to be your choice. Making me feel like the luckiest man in the universe.” You’re enjoying this little romantic banter between you two, and Miguel loves it.

“However, that last one is a secret between us. Can’t have people knowing that their exSpider-Man enjoys classic literature.”

“Speaking of which, have you gotten to the end of pride and prejudice?” You take his hand and lead him to the couch where you both plop down and find a good cuddle position. Miguel is the perfect amount of warmth even though he wore nothing but sweats, meaning his dad build was out in all of its glory. It took everything in you not to pounce on him. Miguel wasn’t much help either. When he’s sitting down and you’re sitting in between his legs and he brings you in close to him to hug you. He’s all kissing your neck and playing with the waistband of your pants with his hand because truly he wants to eat you out so so so bad and is extremely so hard by the intimacy, but he knows tonight is not the night, and so did you.

“I’m not finished yet, but I’m close.” He mumbles against your skin. Miguel was always a master of flipping your switch, this time using the smacking of his plump lips against your supple skin, claiming your neck, shoulders, and jaw as his.

“Mm… y’know what would be a great idea?” you manage to get out.

Miguel stops what he’s doing and braces himself. “Oh God. What?”

“If you read whatever you have left of the book to me.”

“You want me to read it? Out loud?” Miguel finds this cute. You nod your head eagerly, and Miguel was absolutely cooed by the request. “Like I’ve said millions of times before, I love the sound of your voice.”

“Para ti? Claro Que si, mi vida.” And so he went and grabbed the book and his glasses, settling back into his position under you, and began reading in his soft, silky voice. You listened intently, the words falling right out of his mouth, making music to your ears. For Miguel, this was an honor. He’ll take glances down at you and see that you’re in total awe of him, latching onto every word he recites. He hadn’t done something like this since, well, Gabriella.

This is the life he wanted. The life he had been living the past three years had served him well, but Miguel felt it. He felt it was time for another chapter. He was so certain. He’s decided he wants this every night.

Miguel reads on, simultaneously rehearsing what he’ll say in his head. The themes of newfound love and romance of the book was inspiring him. It made the scene all too perfect for the both of you. He then takes a long pause on a page. You can feel his belly hitch. “Everything alright?” You ask softly. “I’m okay. More than okay.” He sounds as though he might get emotional.

Miguel looks away from the book and into your eyes, putting the novel down. You two are in his home, on his couch, cuddling with a book, and the school year has come to an end. Miguel needs to say something and feels it’s time to share it. It’s now or never.

“You,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper, eyes shining, breath steadying,

“I love you.”

The words send your heart rate to oblivion.

“W-what?”

“I love you.” Miguel says this so matter of factly, like he’s never been so sure of something in his life.

You had to make sure what you heard matched what he said and it did. You’ve wondered when he would say it. You would’ve been fine had he done so on the first date! You only have one response to this, and tears well up in your eyes before you can say it, “I love you, too.” You attack Miguel with kisses, and both of you relish in this monumental moment in your blossoming relationship. You’ve finally found the prince to your fairytale.

“I adore you”, “I worship you”, “I’m so proud of you,” and more “I love you”s fall from Miguel’s lips, making the tears well up in your eyes again and your heart swell even more.

Miguel continues to read for you, savoring the special memory you both will now share for a very long time. Sometimes, he’ll just stop mid paragraph just to say it to you again, that he loves you, and you say it back. Both of you are giddy little kids, telling each other how much you love the other, trying to one up each other like it’s a contest. At some point, you can feel yourself start to fall, and Miguel sees it, but he proceeds with the story. The mixture of his lulling voice and the soothing sensation of his rising and falling tummy was the perfect combo for sleep. Once you’re completely out, Miguel turns off the lights by voice command, and lays a blanket over you. He holds you tight against him, as if you could disappear at any moment, and plants a kiss lovingly on your forehead. He whispers ‘te amo, mi vida’ before slumber takes him over as well.

<3

You can feel a light gently shed on your eyelids. You’re not fully conscious yet, drifting between the states of awake and asleep.

Your fingers flicker with life, and you think you feel something rough. Your eyes crack and you’re met with a blurred figure. Your vision focuses and you make out a face, your fingers lingering on the jaw. Your lips curl at this face. The closest thing in view is a pair of dark lips, parted and inspiring deep, low snores. Taking account of their breath, you feel the inhaling and exhaling of his stomach against your front side. You lift your head slightly to get a better view of the person you currently lay on top of. Tousled black hair, dark eye lashes that ornament sleeping eyes, thick brows lacking the tension creases that would otherwise be there, and some missing glasses, which now sit on a side table. The sight was sweet enough to make the coldest heart melt. You take a moment to just observe his breathing, his relaxed state, and start leaving small, ghostly caresses on his face, absorbing each line and shape of his rugged complexion. This is the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen him. You wanna stay in it forever. The outside world finally makes its presence known with a few chirps of birds, and your attention goes to a window and that’s when it hits you: you’re still in Miguel’s place, and you both had fallen asleep on his couch. At last, you gain enough consciousness to realize that, for the entirety of the night, you had been held the same way a child holds their most beloved teddy bear by your exprofessor, now lover.

No, you two didn’t have sex, just like how it had been discussed a few days ago. You were both still clothed, yet, somehow, this feels even more intimate than when y’all eat each other’s faces.

Your attention is stolen back by the snores of the man below you, which makes you stifle laughter. You could honestly lay there watching him for hours. Your eyes glazed over every inch to ingrain the perfect mental image of this soft moment.

A few more seconds pass by before his snoring pattern comes to an abrupt halt and his eyes flutter open, landing on you. His watch goes off in a small, irritable beep. His tired eyes lift as he smiles at the view, despite the noise. This was something that he’s dreamt of waking up to every day.

“G’morning, sleeping beauty,” you softly speak, leaning down for a kiss on his forehead, “You sleep good?” Your voice is sweet, the moment seconds before leaving it honey-like.

“Morning,” his hands that wrapped around your waist unravel and rub your back, “Mhm. like a baby. Don’t think I’ve slept like that in… well, ever.” An early raspiness spills from his lips and its deep enough to make your insides flutter. “Me too.” You reply, gazing into each other’s eyes before sharing one or two good morning kisses on the lips, the second one lingering a couple seconds longer.

“Can you confirm something for me?” You continue, and Miguel raises an eyebrow.

“Was I dreaming or did you say the L-word to me last night?” A giggle leaves Miguel’s mouth. “Yeah, I did, and I’ll say it again.” He says in his low voice. You grin ear to ear, bodies glued together as if they were merging into one. His hands come up to your face tenderly, and with pride, he confesses again,

“I love you.”

A/n: I’m back girlies, did u miss me?

<3Taggies<3

@safixiovi @mukeovernetflix @mochikisses @miguels-cock-piercings @miranexx @bunnibitez @deepdiveintothedeephive @faretheeoscar @sillygardeneggperson @librababe99 @sariespi @little-lovelace @monstersimp @oharasfilipinawife @obi-mom-kenobi @hyjionie @maomaimao @pomakori @pinkhelados @mochimoqa @princesatracionera @queerponcho @walmaerts @froggygal @yaysposts @koko-1025 @kikaaauu @lauraolar14 @anotherprettyprincess @kaidxra @farrowroyale @pigeonmama @exactlyyoungchaos @fayeofthenightingale @s4dow

@hartsucks @amberbalcom14 @wait2nourh @tatooieve @helen-j-magnus @cl3stevu

@mintssanctuary @ghost-lantern @snails-doodles22 @tinythebunni

[liuhsng]

✩ˎˊ˗ breaking point ( ksn ! )

✩ˎˊ˗ part of the untouchable series | enhypen masterlist ⤷ word count: 13.9k ⤷ taglist for the series: open ! ⤷ warning/s: 18+ ( smut ! ), unprotected sex ( wrap it before you tap it ), p in v, pussy drunk!sunoo, a/b/o au, cursing, female pronouns, fem!reader, kinda slowburn, brother's best friend trope, mentions of drinking and alcohol, very very passionate sex, angst, one-sided at first to eventual mutual pining, sunoo's in denial, kinda shy!reader, sunoo falls for you hard, subtle mentions of heeseung's fic from the series ⤷ a/n: I'M BACK AFTER 4 YEARS. ✩ˎˊ˗ summary: being sunghoon’s younger sister by a year, it was clear to everyone that you were off-limits. sunghoon’s overprotectiveness made it impossible for anyone to forget that, especially sunoo, his best friend. the pink haired alpha, who always saw you as nothing more than his best friend’s little sister. he wasn’t looking for an omega or a mate, and that was that. but when things get heated between the both of you, he had no choice but to confront the feelings he always had for his best friend's younger sister that he couldn't deny anymore.

being the youngest daughter of the esteemed park family was hard, not because of who your brother was, but because of all the rules you were raised to follow.

from the moment you could walk, you were groomed to be perfect, poised, refined, and constantly reminded that you were next in line to rule alongside sunghoon. the pressure was suffocating. every step you took was measured, every decision scrutinized, and the expectations never seemed to end.

the problem? you had never asked for any of it.

as his younger sister, it was hard to make your own way when all anyone ever saw was the role you were born into. and to make matters worse, there were constant reminders that you were off-limits, not just because you were his sister— maybe just a little, but because you were the future of the family.

you were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt sunghoon tap lightly on your knee, the touch familiar yet still enough to pull you back into reality. his presence in the front seat always had an air of authority, and for a moment, you resented how easily he could just, command your attention.

"stupid alpha's and their stupid genes." you muttered under your breath.

"stop zoning out," he said, his voice a playful reprimand, though the smile on his face suggested he wasn’t too bothered by your distraction.

you rolled your eyes as you shifted in your seat. “i'm not zoning out,” you muttered, trying to shake off the feelings of frustration that had been rising under your skin. the weight of your family’s expectations felt heavier than usual.

sunghoon, sitting next to the driver’s seat with his attention partly on the road and partly on you, sighed. "you know mom’s going to expect you to bring a suitor with you to the dinner, right? at least someone who looks like they’re even remotely interested in you."

you could feel your chest tighten at the mention of it. it wasn’t even a dinner for a few more days, at least five, actually; but your mother had already made it clear that tonight’s family dinner would be just the beginning. it was one of those events designed to solidify your place in the hierarchy, and somehow, the spotlight was always on you and your older brother, no matter how much you tried to avoid it.

"yeah, i know," you said dryly, glancing out the window at the passing buildings. "you’re not the one who has to deal with her acting like your love life is the family business."

sunghoon chuckled, a sound that felt too familiar, dry and dismissive, as though he didn’t even consider anyone good enough to be worthy of you. “i just think no one’s good enough for you,” he said with a shrug, his voice almost bored as he looked out the windshield.

“mom’s just doing her usual thing. trying to find someone who’ll follow the rules and look the part. doesn’t matter who they are, as long as they check the boxes.” sunghoon sighed as he shot you a tight smile in the rear-view mirror.

you bit your lip to keep from rolling your eyes. the last thing you needed was your brother deciding who was worthy of you, especially when the last thing you wanted was someone picked for you based on some list of family-approved traits. “i’m sure she’ll find someone who meets all her requirements,” you said, sarcasm laced into your voice.

sunghoon glanced at you, the amusement in his eyes fading into something a little more serious. for a second, you saw a flash of concern in his eyes, but it was gone just as quickly. "don’t let her get to you," he said quietly.

“the only thing you need is an alpha who cares about you,” he said, his tone oddly casual, though he sounded sincere. "like your mate, who i'm sure is just out there waiting for you. you’ll find him eventually."

you blinked, surprised by the unexpected softness in his voice. you weren't used to hearing him talk like that

you shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. "you really think someone’s out there waiting for me?" you asked, the doubt creeping into your voice despite the hope his words has caused.

sunghoon's gaze softened for a moment, his expression unreadable. "i don't think you need to worry about that right now," he said with a slight grin, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "when the time comes, you'll know. just… don’t let mom rush you into someone you don’t want."

you let out a quiet sigh, turning your gaze out the window as the car slowed. the city lights blurred past, and before you could process it, the familiar driveway came into view, an all too familiar mansion.

the car honked, and a figure appeared in your peripheral vision. you recognized him immediately, even from a distance. kim sunoo, casually scrolling through his phone as he stood by the front gate. as the car rolled to a stop, he looked up, saw you both, and then sent sunghoon a playful smirk through the rolled-down passenger window.

"well, look who finally decided to show up," sunoo said with a grin, his eyes lighting up as he slid into the car beside you without missing a beat.

but as sunoo settled in beside you, you couldn't shake the strange feeling that had been creeping up on you for a while now. you'd known sunoo for as long as you could remember, your brother’s best friend, always around when the two of you were growing up.

his family was just like yours, pureblooded with a reputation that seemed to follow them wherever they went. but to you, sunoo had always seemed harmless, just another guy who’d been around long enough to be a part of the family in a way.

it wasn’t always like this. there was a time when he had been just… sunghoon's best friend. the guy who teased you relentlessly, but never in a mean way. he was always present, always just there; at family gatherings, at parties, even during quiet moments when you'd end up sitting side by side, silently enduring the weight of family expectations together.

it wasn’t an obvious change, not something you could point to with a specific date. but, something that began to grow when you found yourself seeing him differently.

maybe it was during one of those times when you had to wait for sunghoon outside an office, a day when he’d gotten into a fight with another alpha after his classes. you were both stuck waiting for your brother, his stubbornness keeping him inside while you and sunoo were left in an uncomfortable silence.

you’d both sat there, avoiding each other’s gaze, the minutes stretched on, and something inside you felt weird. the way sunoo’s eyes would flicker toward you, like he was trying to catch your attention without fully looking at you, as if testing whether you were still there. you'd meet his gaze for a second, but he’d always look away too quickly, leaving you with the unsettling feeling that there was something he wasn’t saying.

his scent, always so familiar, seemed to hang in the air thicker than usual. it was the heady mixture of rum and neroli that you’d come to associate with him, something that screamed 'kim sunoo.' but now, it felt more intense, like it was seeping into your senses and refusing to let go.

each inhale felt deeper than the last, and with every breath, your heart began to pound faster. your inner omega reacted before your mind could process it, a soft whimper rising in the back of your throat as your body seemed to crave the closeness, the warmth that sunoo offered.

"omega…" sunoo grumbled under his breath, his voice barely a whisper, but it was enough to make your pulse spike. his eyes were narrowed, his expression flickering with something unreadable as he shifted next to you.

"alpha," you whispered, more to yourself than to him, trying to force some control back into the situation. the words barely left your lips before sunoo let out a breath, his hand brushing against yours, sending another wave of heat coursing through you.

before you could fully process what was happening, the glass doors to the office burst open with a loud bang, snapping you out of the haze you were in. sunghoon stormed out, his face contorted in irritation.

"let’s go," he grumbled, his voice laced with anger. he barely spared a glance in your direction before he turned, expecting both of you to follow. sunoo stood up immediately, his posture rigid, but not before shooting you one last look.

now, here you were, in the present, sitting next to the pink haired alpha in the backseat of the car. he hadn’t said much, just offering you a tight-lipped smile when you briefly met his gaze. his usual bright smile was gone when it came to you, replaced by something colder. you didn’t know what had changed between you two, only that it had.

and it was driving you crazy.

the school halls felt a little emptier than usual, you found yourself walking alongside heeseung’s mate, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence as you made your way toward the library.

"so, how's your relationship going?" you asked, breaking the silence between the two of you as you both navigated the winding hallway. your voice was light, almost teasing.

she raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a mischievous grin. "i haven't seen you in a hot minute, and that’s the first thing you ask me?" she chuckled, nudging your shoulder with her own. "guess i should be flattered, huh?"

you rolled your eyes but couldn't hide the smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "well, it's not like i have a lot of time to catch up with you," you replied, voice dripping with mock sarcasm. "plus, i'm curious what it's like to have a mate."

she let out a dramatic sigh, pressing a hand to her chest. "well, let me tell you, it’s a whole different world, but not in the way people make it seem."

you raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious now. "isn't that how it’s supposed to be? like, you find your other half, and everything just... clicks?"

she laughed softly, shaking her head. "it does click, but not always in the way you think. it’s not just about this perfect connection, you have to understand each other on a level most people never get. and that means sometimes stepping back, compromising, giving up things you thought you wanted."

you frowned slightly, trying to process what she was saying. "so, it's not all… smooth sailing?"

"not at all," she said with a grin, her expression softening.

the two of you slowed your pace as you reached the library doors, and you couldn't help but feel a little bit worried. "sounds like a lot to take in," you murmured.

"it is," she agreed, her expression softening, her voice quieter now. "but when it’s right, it’s worth every bit of effort." she paused, glancing at you with a hint of playfulness. "anyway, enough about me and my romantic life. what about you? any suitors yet?"

you snorted at her tone. "oh, definitely not. my stupid brother would never let that happen." you couldn't hide the frustration in your voice. "honestly, he’d probably pick the guy out himself if he had it his way."

as you pushed open the library doors, you immediately spotted sunoo. he was scanning the second aisle of books, his pink hair catching the light as he casually flipped through a book in his hands. the quiet rustle of pages echoed, but the moment you stepped inside, something changed.

his scent hit you; rum and neroli, as usual, but then, something softer, something sweet and floral lingered in the air, mixing with the familiar fragrance. cherries and daisies. your scent. you hadn’t realized it until now, but it was unmistakable. the realization hit you like a wave, the familiar smell of your scent blending with his in the air around you made your heart race.

sunoo looked up, his eyes immediately meeting yours, and you felt a jolt in your chest. his gaze flickered toward you faster than you could process, as if the sudden rush of your scent had caught him off guard. for a moment, he looked like he was trying to figure out what was happening.

the usual cocky grin he wore was gone, replaced by something that looked unsure. the silence stretched between the two of you hanged in the air. his lips parted as if to say something but closed again before he could speak, his eyes flickering to the side.

you felt your cheeks warm, a slight blush creeping up as you realized just how much of your scent had made its way to him. it wasn’t the usual mixture of rum and neroli; it was your scent, swirling around him, and it made everything feel strangely intimate.

after a few seconds, sunoo cleared his throat, attempting to break the tension. “hi,” he said, his voice quieter than usual. his hand went to rub the back of his neck in an awkward gesture. “what’s up?”

"i'—i'm just looking for a book," you said quickly, trying to steady your breathing.

"right," sunoo muttered, his lips pressing into a tight line.

before either of you could say anything else, heeseung's mate, who had been watching the whole exchange with amusement, couldn’t help herself. she stifled a laugh behind her hand, clearly entertained.

at this, sunoo’s gaze hardened slightly, his jaw tightening as if her subtle teasing had struck a nerve. his eyes flicked to her, sharp and full of irritation.

before he could even retort, a familiar voice called out from across the library, breaking the silence.

“dude, come on!” it was ni-ki, his usual energy apparent even in his rushed tone. he was standing near the library entrance, waving a hand as if trying to pull sunoo out of whatever awkward interaction he’d just walked into.

sunoo sighed, running a hand through his hair before nodding at ni-ki. “yeah, i’m coming,” he said, his voice strained. he hesitated for a moment, his eyes flicking toward you once more before he turned and started walking toward the door.

ni-ki, however, didn’t seem to miss the stiffness his friend carried. as sunoo approached him, ni-ki raised an eyebrow, his gaze darting between you and sunoo with a smirk slowly creeping onto his face.

“not a word,” sunoo snapped, his voice firm as he grabbed younger by the arm and dragged him out of the library before he could say anything else.

the doors swung shut behind them, leaving you and heeseung’s mate standing there. she let out a low whistle, clearly entertained by the exchange.

“well, that was… something,” she said, raising an eyebrow at you.

you groaned, burying your face in your hands as the heat of embarrassment crept up your neck. "don’t start," you muttered, but the sound of her soft laugh made it clear she already had.

ni-ki wore a smug grin as he and sunoo made their way down the hallway toward jungwon’s classroom. the pinknette kept his head down, his jaw tight, while ni-ki practically bounced with every step.

"you know," ni-ki started, his tone dripping with mischief, "i could smell your scent from a mile away." he wrinkled his nose in exaggerated disgust, throwing a glance at sunoo. "and, man, it went sour the second you came near me. wonder why?"

sunoo shot him a glare, his fists clenching at his sides. "shut up, you brat," he muttered through gritted teeth, though the flush on his cheeks betrayed his emotions.

ni-ki just laughed, "relax, i’m just saying. you sure you’re not catching feelings?" his voice was light, and the teasing tone in it made sunoo’s brows knit even tighter.

by the time they reached jungwon’s classroom, sunoo’s patience was wearing thin. ni-ki opened the door without hesitation, poking his head in. "hey, president! we have a meeting,"

jungwon looked up from his desk, his sharp eyes instantly narrowing as they landed on sunoo. his nose scrunched as he groaned. "what the fuck, sunoo? what’s up with your scent? it’s all over the place."

sunoo let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing his temples as if trying to push down a rising headache. "it’s nothing," he said firmly as he shot jungwon a pointed look. "can we just go? get your ass up there before ni-ki starts running his mouth again."

but ni-ki wasn’t done. he leaned casually against the doorframe, his grin widening. "oh, he’s not exaggerating, though. your scent’s practically begging for attention right now."

"ni-ki!" sunoo snapped, his voice rising. his cheeks were now a bright red. he shot jungwon another look as his footsteps were already moving back toward the hallway.

jungwon sighed, closing his book as he trailed behind sunoo and ni-ki. his sharp eyes flicked between the two, lingering on sunoo’s unusually tense shoulders. "i don’t think i’ve ever seen you this worked up," jungwon commented, "what happened?"

"i already told you, it's nothing," sunoo said through gritted teeth, his pace quickening as if he could outrun the conversation. his hands were stuffed into his pockets, fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

jungwon raised an eyebrow, "dude, i'm just concerned," he stepped closer to sunoo, his gaze scrutinizing. "and why does your scent keep spiking like that? it’s—" he wrinkled his nose again, "—weirdly sweet."

"woah, which one of you reeks of omega?" jake's voice cut through the tense atmosphere as he walked up from the opposite end of the hallway, his eyebrows raised in confusion. he stopped a few feet away, his sharp gaze sweeping over the group before settling on the pink haired alpha.

all of them turned to look at sunoo, who visibly tensed under their stares. his scent, usually subtle, was undeniably different now; sweet and overwhelming, like cherries and daisies after a summer rain.

jake's eyes widened slightly as the realization hit. "oh, it’s you," he said, pointing at sunoo, a teasing smirk spreading across his face. "what the hell, dude? i thought you didn’t want a mate. sunghoon’s gonna lose his mind if he catches a whiff of this."

sunoo groaned, his jaw tightening even further. "for the hundredth fucking time, it’s nothing," he snapped, his voice low.

jake wasn’t having it. he stepped closer, his eyes holding nothing but amusement. "nothing? seriously?" he let out a chuckle, leaning casually against the wall. "because from what i’m smelling—" he let out a chuckle, "it doesn’t sound like nothing."

and just like ni-ki, jake was far from being done. he leaned in slightly, his tone dropping into something more serious. "just saying, sunoo. you smell like you’ve already claimed her as your omega."

sunoo’s patience finally snapped. he stepped forward, his shoulders tense as grabbed jake's collar. "i already told you, it's fucking nothing!" his voice echoed down the hallway. he took a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down before speaking again. "can we just drop it?"

the hallway fell silent for a moment, the tension thick between them. jungwon sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he exchanged a glance with jake and ni-ki.

"alright, let’s go," jungwon muttured. sunoo turned on his heel, his head held high as he stormed off down the hallway.

the council meeting dragged on longer than expected, leaving everyone tired but relieved as everything finally wrapped up. jay stretched his arms over his head while jake clapped his hands together, his signature smile plastered on his face.

before anyone could leave, sunghoon stood up, leaning casually against the table. “before we all go home to suffer through whatever my family has planned for us this weekend,” he started, glancing around the room, “i'm throwing a party at our place. consider it a little pregame before we have to suffer through whatever formalities my family has planned.”

“your place?” jay asked, raising an eyebrow. “you sure about that?”

“yeah, well, we’ll deal with it,” sunghoon replied with a shrug. “i’ll handle everything. you guys just show up and try not to burn the house down, okay?” he flashed his trademark smirk.

heeseung snickered, leaning back in his chair. “no promises, man.”

sunghoon rolled his eyes. “you guys are exhausting. just be there, okay?”

sunghoon grabbed his bag from the chair beside him, slinging it over his shoulder with a casual flick of his wrist. he glanced at sunoo, who was still looking through his phone.

“come on, man,” sunghoon said, nudging sunoo with his elbow. “let’s head out. don’t make me wait on you.”

sunoo gave a short nod but didn’t respond immediately. he slipped his phone into his pocket and grabbed his own bag, standing up and following sunghoon to the door.

but sunghoon stopped just before they reached it, pausing for a moment. “actually, you go ahead,” he said, glancing at sunoo. “i need to make a few calls before we head out, wait for me at the car.”

sunoo nodded, albeit with a slight frown. “alright. don’t take too long.”

with that, sunghoon waved off sunoo and headed back to the council room. the pink haired alpha turned and walked out of the building, his footsteps echoing down the hallway.

you were already standing near the car, scrolling through your phone, when you heard those footsteps approach.

but instead of both of them, it was just sunoo.

he slowed his pace as he neared you, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before darting away. his posture was more stiff than usual, like he was trying to keep himself together despite the tension. he cleared his throat, offering a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“your brother had to make a few calls,” he said, trying to keep his tone light, though it didn’t sound quite as casual as he intended. “he’ll be out in a bit.”

you raised an eyebrow, noting the way he avoided your gaze. something was different about him, it seemed like he was even more avoidant that before. you leaned a little more against the car, letting your phone slip into your pocket.

“oh, alright. i was expecting you both,” you said, keeping your tone light. “guess it’s just you for now.”

sunoo’s gaze met yours briefly, but he quickly looked away, the tension between you two rising just from the quietness that surrounded you.

“yeah,” sunoo replied, his voice quieter than usual. “he’ll catch up soon.”

you both stood there, the silence stretching on a little too long for your liking, every time you shifted slightly, the pureblooded alpha's eyes flickered toward you, only to dart away quickly when you looked in his direction.

sunoo’s gaze wandered back to you, though his eyes lingered longer this time, his brows furrowed just slightly, as if trying to figure something out, something that was clearly confusing him. his hands, tucked into his pockets, clenched and unclenched as if he were trying to control his inner alpha.

he was trying to keep it together, but you could tell he was struggling, and it only made the tension between you two worse. your scent, the cherries and daisies that always clung to you, seemed to hit him harder now than it ever had before. he kept his head down at times, shaking it slightly, as if trying to will the thoughts away. but it was impossible.

before the silence could swallow you whole, a familiar figure came into view. sunghoon, bag slung over his shoulder, was walking toward you both, his sharp eyes landing on you. when he noticed sunoo, his gaze narrowed for a moment, before he pushed the door open and got into the driver’s seat.

sunoo visibly relaxed when sunghoon appeared, his shoulders relaxing. you noticed the way sunghoon’s gaze flicked between you two, almost as if trying to get a reaction out of you before his expression softened.

“let’s go,” sunghoon muttered, his tone light, but you caught the faintest hint of annoyance to it. as you got in, sunghoon’s eyes lingered on sunoo for a moment, an unreadable look being exchanged between them before he turned his attention back to you.

the car ride back to your house was suffocating with the silence between sunghoon and sunoo. their usual playful banter was absent, making it feel like there was a thick wall between them. sunghoon’s hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white, his jaw clenched, and his eyes were fixed ahead, not once glancing at sunoo.

when your brother finally pulled up to your house, he didn’t even look at you as he parked the car. “go on, i'll go home later, i'm going to hang with sunoo a bit at his place,” he said, his tone flat, though he didn’t make eye contact.

you hesitated, still confused by the strange tension between the two of them, but sunghoon wasn't one to order you around if nothing was up. you opened the car door and stepped out, the cool air hitting your skin as you closed it behind you. but as soon as you turned to head inside, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.

inside the car, sunghoon didn’t waste any time. as soon as the door slammed shut, he put the car in gear and pulled away, his face hard as stone. he spoke again, his tone colder than before.

“sunoo,” he said, his voice low, full of suppressed rage. “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

the pink haired alpha didn’t immediately respond, his eyes flicking to sunghoon’s, and the words that followed were filled with frustration.

“what the fuck are you saying?” sunoo spat, his tone was angry angry, but there a hint nervousness he couldn’t hide. he was defensive, like he was trying to convince himself more than sunghoon. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

sunghoon’s eyes darkened, and he slammed his hand against the steering wheel. “don’t lie to me. i saw the way you were looking at her, at (y/n). you think i didn’t notice? you’re not fooling anyone, sunoo. you’ve made it clear you don’t want a mate, so don’t start acting like you care about my sister. she’s not some fucking toy for you to play with.”

sunoo’s breath caught in his throat. the words hit him like a punch. his anger rose and his pulse quickened, but he wasn’t ready to back down. he was kim sunoo, for god’s sake. a pureblooded alpha. the one everyone looked up to, admired, even worshipped as if he were some sort of god.

people didn’t question him. they didn’t dare. they whispered his name in admiration, gazed at him with awe, and hung onto every word that fell from his lips. he was always in control, always the one holding all the cards. yet here he was, sitting in sunghoon’s car, feeling like a cornered animal.

“i’m not—” his voice cut off. his eyes narrowed, and his jaw tightened. “you’ve lost your mind. you think I’m some kind of… what? a threat? to (y/n)?” he scoffed, shaking his head. “i don’t even—”

but the words got caught in his throat, the sheer audacity of sunghoon’s words sparked something primal that clawed its way to the surface.

“i don’t need your fucking lectures,” sunoo snapped, his voice rising, laced with frustration and something darker. “you think you can just sit there and tell me what to feel? like you know everything about me?”

sunghoon’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles turning white. his voice, cold cut through sunoo’s anger like a blade. “i know enough, sunoo. i know what you’re capable of. you’ve always been able to have whatever you wanted, and you never cared about the mess you left behind. i’ve seen it. i’ve cleaned it up.”

sunoo flinched, his jaw tightening as the words dug into him. “you think i’d do that to her? to your sister?” he practically spat the words, his voice trembling with disbelief and something he couldn’t quite place: shame, maybe, though he wasn’t about to admit it. “do you even hear yourself right now?”

“yes, i do,” sunghoon spat back, is glare was sharp enough to draw blood, and the fire in his eyes kept on burning. “and you’d better hear me too. i don’t care who you are, sunoo. i don’t care how many people bow at your feet or how many omegas line up just for a glance from you. she’s not one of them. she’s not yours to toy with.”

sunoo slumped slightly, the words hitting him harder than he expected. se opened his mouth to argue, to lash back, but the weight of his own best friend's anger pressed down on him.

sunghoon’s voice lowered, the cold anger hinting at something even more dangerous: protectiveness. “you’ve built your reputation on being untouchable like the rest of us, sunoo. on being the alpha no one can resist. but this time, it’s different. she’s different. and i’m not going to let you drag her into whatever this is. so if you can’t figure your shit out, then stay the hell away from her. not her, sunoo. not my sister.”

the silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the car so heavy it was almost suffocating. sunoo turned his gaze to the window, his jaw tight and his chest heaving. he wanted to say something, anything; but the words refused to come. for the first time in his life, kim sunoo didn’t know what to say.

and that terrified him.

the bass of the music slammed through the walls of your room, shaking the floor beneath your feet as muffled laughter and indistinct chatter filled the air. the faint stench of alcohol wafted in from downstairs, mixing with the faint scent of perfume you’d just sprayed.

you stood in front of your vanity, mascara in hand, carefully brushing it through your lashes. despite the loud party happening just a floor below, your mind was miles away, spinning relentlessly over the events of the day.

your brother's voice echoed in your head, commanding and impossible to ignore. “go on.” his expression was hard, his tone leaving no room for argument, and his eyed held something you couldn’t quite place. anger? frustration? and then, hours later, when he finally came home, his jaw was set tight and his movements sharp, he’d brushed it off entirely. “pay it no mind,” he’d said, as if you could.

you blinked, startled as jungwon’s mate’s voice broke through your thoughts. “well, don’t you look pretty,” she said with a teasing tone, her warm smile reflected in the mirror beside you. she leaned against the edge of the bed, holding a glass of wine, her relaxed posture a contrast to your tense one.

you managed a small laugh, the corners of your lips twitching up as you capped your mascara. “thanks,” you muttered, setting the tube down on the vanity.

“i mean, you always do,” she continued, waving her hand as if it were obvious. “your genes are just unfair, honestly.” she paused, tilting her head with a mischievous grin. “but tonight, i don’t know… there’s something different. you might just find yourself an alpha.”

“i’d kill to have your genes,” heeseung's mate chimed in from where she was perched on the armrest of a chair, twirling the stem of her own wine glass between her fingers. “the rest of us have to try, but you? you just wake up looking like that.”

you laughed lightly, “okay, calm down, it’s not that serious,” you replied, though a faint blush crept up your neck.

“oh, it is,” jungwon’s mate insisted, sitting up straighter. she gestured at you with her drink. “half the alphas downstairs are probably already talking about you, and you’re not even there yet.”

you rolled your eyes, about to deflect when a knock at the door broke through the conversation. all three of you turned toward it just as it cracked open slightly.

“hey—” ni-ki’s voice came from the hallway as he peeked his head inside, his dark hair slightly messy and his tie undone. his teasing grin widened when he spotted you. “oh, look who’s not ready yet. should’ve known.”

“what do you want, ni-ki?” you asked, crossing your arms but unable to suppress a small smile at his antics.

he leaned against the doorframe, his expression mischievous as his gaze darted between the three of you. “well, for one, jungwon and heeseung are downstairs losing their minds trying to figure out where these two are,” he said, directing his words to the other two omega's in the room.

both women groaned, rolling their eyes in unison.

“of course they are,” heeseung’s mate muttered, setting her glass down. “they’re so clingy sometimes.”

“tell them we’re having girl time,” jungwon’s mate added with a dismissive wave. “they’ll survive.”

ni-ki shrugged. “suit yourselves. just don’t blame me when they come storming up here.” his gaze flicked back to you, and his grin turned into something more teasing. “and you.”

you raised an eyebrow at him. “what about me?”

“oh, nothing,” ni-ki replied, his voice dripping with mock innocence. “just wondering if you’re planning to make an entrance tonight or if you’re hiding up here for a reason. you know…” he paused dramatically. “like maybe avoiding someone?”

your stomach twisted, and you tensed at his words. sunoo’s name was unspoken, but the implication was clear.

you avoided the curious gazes of jungwon’s and heeseung’s mates, focusing instead on smoothing down your dress as if that could steady the nervousness coursing through you. “i’m not avoiding anyone,” you said quickly, though your voice came out a little too defensive. “why would i be?”

ni-ki’s smirk grew, his eyes catching every flicker of your unease. “no reason,” he said casually, though his tone said otherwise. “but, you know, sunoo’s downstairs already. thought you’d want to know.”

your fingers tightened around the edge of your dress, but you forced a calm expression, brushing past his words with a shrug. “thanks for the update, ni-ki. anything else?”

ni-ki let out a low chuckle, pushing off the doorframe. “nope, that’s it. i'll let the boys know their precious mates are alive and well.” he shot you one last knowing glance before disappearing down the hall.

heeseung’s mate arched an eyebrow at you. “something you want to share?”

“nope,” you replied quickly, standing and grabbing your clutch to avoid their probing stares. “let’s head down before jungwon and heeseung actually come looking for you.”

the two omega's exchanged a look, clearly not convinced by your avoidance, but they didn’t push further. with a quiet sigh and a shake of their heads, they trailed after you, their heels clicking softly against the floor.

as you descended the staircase, the music grew louder, the distinct stench of alcohol mixed with the overwhelming mix of scents, some sharp and dominating, others softer and more inviting, hit you like a wave. the mingling of alpha and omega pheromones in the air made your head spin slightly, but you quickly composed yourself, steadying your breath.

the party was in full swing by the time you reached the ground floor. laughter blended with the music. you got lost through the crowd, your gaze scanning the room for familiar faces. a few alphas glanced your way as you passed, their eyes lingering a second too long, but you paid them no mind. your focus was on finding the one group that always stood out: your brother and his closest friends.

there they were, gathered in a corner near the back of the living room, a bunch alpha's that demanded attention without trying. you no one dared approach them, not even the boldest partygoers. they were untouchable, and everyone in the room knew it. the alphas who tried too hard to impress, the omegas who stole glances— they all kept their distance.

even from afar, you could see why. jungwon’s sharp gaze swept over the room like a predator assessing his territory, while jake leaned casually against the wall, his smile charming yet unreadable. heeseung reeked of confidence, sipping from his drink as if he had nothing to prove, while ni-ki and jay stood close, their presence equally magnetic. as if there was a warning sign above them that seemed to say, come close at your own risk.

then there was sunoo, his fox-like eyes gleaming under the dim light, observing the room with an intensity that made you feel as though he saw everything without even trying. he was effortless in the way he held himself, his posture relaxed but his presence was everything, as if daring anyone tocome close. his lips curved into a faint smirk, but it never reached his eyes.

for a moment, your breath hitched as his eyes flicked in your direction. it wasn’t a lingering stare, but something about the brief glance sent a jolt through you, like he’d caught you looking and wanted you to know it. you quickly tore your gaze away, pretending to focus on something else.

you straightened your shoulders, forcing yourself to focus as you made your way toward the group with heeseung’s mate and jungwon’s mate trailing close behind.

jay was the closest to you, leaning casually with his drink in hand. you stepped up to him, barely giving yourself time to hesitate before asking, “where’s sunghoon?”

jay tilted his head, a knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “last i saw, he was playing the host, chatting up some guests by the back patio.” he took a sip from his drink before adding, “you know your brother, always trying to keep things in check.”

your brows furrowed as you glanced in the direction he pointed, but sunghoon was nowhere in sight. “did he say anything about leaving?” you asked, trying to keep the worry from creeping into your voice.

jay shook his head, his grin widening slightly as he caught a glimpse of sunoo, who had moved a step closer. the flicker of something—irritation, jealousy, maybe both; in sunoo’s fox-like eyes didn’t escape jay.

“nope,” jay said, his tone casual. “he’s probably just busy. relax, will you? it’s a party.” his gaze flicked between you and Sunoo, and the amusement in his eyes deepened. “enjoy yourself. who knows? you might even catch someone’s attention tonight.”

the way he said it was so pointed that your cheeks flushed, and you stammered out a response, “i’m not—no, that’s not—”

but jay’s smirk only grew, and he leaned in slightly, lowering his voice like he was doing it on purpose. “don’t worry. you’ve definitely already caught someone’s eye.”

before you could even process his words, a sharp, distinct smell flared through the air, piercing through the mix of alcohol, sweat, and pheromones that spread through the room. the smell of rum hit your nose, strong and intoxicating, but it wasn’t coming from jake’s drink; and it made your chest tighten.

your eyes shifted to sunoo almost instinctively. his expression was unreadable, his fingers gripped the glass in his hand tighter than necessary, the faint clink of ice shifting barely audible over the music. his fox-like eyes, which normally held a teasing glint, were locked on jay, bordered on threatening.

it didn’t take much to connect the dots. the flaring scent wasn’t just the alcohol in the room— it was him, sunoo, struggling to keep his emotions in check. his gaze flickered to you briefly before he quickly looked away.

jay noticed too. of course, he did. he smirk on his face twisted into something more mischievous, “relax, sunoo,” jay said, his tone light but loaded, clearly meant to push the alpha's buttons. “no need to look so angry. i’m just saying she’s a catch, that’s all.”

the glass in sunoo’s hand creaked faintly under the pressure of his grip. “you talk too much,” he muttered.

your heart hammered in your chest as the tension between the two alphas crackled like static in the air. you swallowed hard, forcing a nervous laugh to break the awkwardness. “i’ll just… go find sunghoon,” you said quickly, taking a step back.

but even as you turned to leave, you could feel sunoo’s gaze following. the smell of rum still lingered, and it seemed to follow you out of the room like a shadow.

the back patio was quiet compared to the chaos inside. the music was muffled, and the cool night air was a contrast to the stuffy heat of the party. you glanced around, searching for any sign of sunghoon, but the space was practically deserted except for a few people sitting on the edge of the patio.

you sighed, frustration bubbling up. jay’s directions had been vague at best, and for all you knew, your brother could be anywhere. “great,” you muttered to yourself, rubbing your arms as a slight chill crept in.

“he’s probably busy making out with some random omega,” a familiar voice drawled behind you, the words dripping with a mix of sarcasm and something bitter.

you turned to find sunoo leaning against the doorframe, his figure backlit by the dim glow of the house. his fox-like eyes were unreadable, like the alpha was holding back more than he was saying. the way his arms were crossed over his chest, fingers tapping against his bicep, only added to the tension that seemed to follow him everywhere tonight.

“excuse me?” you replied, eyebrows raising.

sunoo shrugged, but the motion was anything but casual. the slight quirk of his lips wasn’t a smile, it was a challenge. “what?” he said, his tone deceptively light. “it’s not like it’s the first time. sunghoon’s great at disappearing when there’s a pretty omega around to distract him

“you sound like you’ve done that more than once,” you retorted, your voice sharp, unable to mask the sting of his words. you stood your ground, eyes narrowing as you crossed your arms, unwilling to back down.

sunoo’s jaw tightened at your words, and for a split second, you saw the flash of something in his eyes, hurt? anger? it was hard to tell. but before you could process it, he took a step forward.

“i’m not having this argument with you, (y/n),” he bit out, his voice low, like he was trying to keep himself under control. “you don’t get it.”

you took a step closer, “no, i don’t think you get it, sunoo,” you retorted, your voice cutting through the tension between you. “you always avoid everything, avoid me, avoid the truth. you act like you’re protecting me, but it’s just you trying to keep things safe, trying to keep everything easy for yourself. but it’s not working anymore.”

without warning, sunoo stepped closer, his hand shooting out to grip your waist, pulling you flush against him. the sudden move took you by surprise, your breath hitching as his hold tightened, his fingers digging into your skin. the heat of his body, the closeness, his intoxicating scent sent a wave of dizziness through you.

his voice dropped to a whisper, right against your ear. “sunghoon implanted it into my brain, (y/n).” his words were almost a growl, “you’re off-limits. i'm bad for you. you don’t get it, do you?”

you gasped, your breath shaky as you tried to push him away, but he only pulled you closer, his chest pressing against yours. his gaze locked with yours, eyes dark and intense. “you don’t understand what you’re doing to me. every time i look at you, i’m reminded of the things i can’t have. the things i can’t do.”

your heart pounded in your chest, the feeling of his hands on your waist sending your mind into a whirlwind of emotions. you couldn’t deny the way your inner omega and body reacted to him, but you shoved the thoughts down, “you think i’m some fucking distraction?” you spat, your voice laced with frustration. “you think i’m just going to sit back and watch you avoid me because of my brother?”

his grip tightened, and for a moment, the intensity of his presence, pressed down on you so much that you almost couldn’t breathe. “yes,” he said, his voice hard, like steel. “because it’s not just about what you want, it’s about what i need to protect myself from. from you. from this.”

his thumb traced a line along your waist, and the action only made the heat between you two more unbearable. “you make me want things i can’t have.”

you shook your head, frustration boiling over. “so, what? you’re going to keep me at arm's length because of something he said?” you raised your voice, your words laced with disbelief. “you’re just going to keep avoiding this because of some stupid rule Ssnghoon created?”

the hardness in sunoo's gaze faltered, but it didn’t last. he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer, the cold night air forgotten between the heat of your bodies. his eyes softened, just for a second, before he spoke again;

“i never wanted a mate, (y/n). not when we were younger.” his words came out strained, “i didn’t care about that stuff. all i wanted was to be free. but then we got older… and things changed.”

his gaze dropped to the ground, and he looked away briefly, “and then i saw you, and everything i thought i knew, everything i thought i wanted started to crumble. but that’s the thing, (y/n). i can’t just fall into something like this, not with you. not with anyone.”

you felt your heart twist, the words hitting you harder than you expected. you opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, sunoo stepped back, releasing his hold on you.

“i can’t risk it,” he muttered, “you don’t get it. i didn’t want a mate, i didn't want an omega to call my own, and i didn’t want to care. but i do. i can’t have you. and i won’t.”

your heart hammered in your chest, the frustration, confusion, and anger bubbling up inside you. but you couldn’t just let him walk away like that, couldn’t let him think that he could just make decisions for you and push you aside.

without thinking, you reached up, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him toward you with such force that it was almost like you were trying to yank him into your own emotions. his eyes widened, startled by the sudden force, but before he could react, you pressed your lips to his, kissing him fiercely, almost desperately.

the kiss wasn’t gentle. it wasn’t tender. it was urgent, the kind of kiss that came from months of trying to ignore what your bodies already knew. both of you had been avoiding this, pushing back against the pull that your inner omega had insisted on, trying to deny what was always right in front of you. but now, in this moment, neither of you could hold back anymore.

his lips crashed against yours, and it felt like something had been broken. the months of years, the constant tug of your instincts; those feelings you both had pushed aside came rushing to the surface. you felt his body heat radiate through you, his hands desperate as they found their place on your waist, pulling you closer.

his scent mixed with yours so effortlessly, blending into something intoxicating. your inner omega, which you had been so determined to suppress, recognized him immediately, as if the very core of you had always known he was meant to be the one to claim you.

you moaned softly, a sound you couldn’t stop, and it seemed to fuel him, pushing him further into the kiss. his hands tightened around you, pulling you even closer, like he couldn’t get enough. you could feel his heartbeat racing against yours.

in his arms, you felt safe, wanted, like you were exactly where you were meant to be. he wasn’t just some pureblooded alpha. he was your alpha, and you were his omega.

but all too soon, he pulled away, his breath shaky, but there was a softness in his eyes that you hadn’t expected. his forehead rested against yours, both of you trying to steady your breathing, his hands still lingered on your waist, holding you as if to say, i'm not going anywhere.

sunoo’s gaze softened further, and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "you don’t know how long i’ve been trying to fight this," he whispered, his voice low, almost a confession. "but i can’t anymore. not with you."

a shaky laugh escaped you before you could stop it. “i don’t want you to fight it anymore,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “i don’t want to fight this, either. not with you.”

without another word, the pink-haired alpha pulled you back inside, his hand never leaving your waist, his grip steady as he ignored the people around you, who were too caught up in their own worlds to even notice. it didn’t matter. it was just the two of you now.

he led you through the halls, when he reached the door, he didn’t hesitate, didn’t need to ask. he knew where your room was, his senses guiding him effortlessly. it was like your scent had marked the room for him.

he opened the door, his body pressing into yours as he kicked it closed with his foot. in an instant, his lips found yours again. it was like you had been waiting for this forever, and now that you were here, you didn’t want to let go.

his kiss was deeper this time, more desperate, as if he couldn’t get enough of you, as if this was the only thing that mattered in the world. the heat from his body collided with yours, and you could feel his heart racing against your chest, matching the frantic pace of your own.

you sighed into the kiss, the feeling of his lips on yours so intoxicating that your head spun. without breaking contact, he pushed you against the door, the pressure of his body reminding you of how close you two were. his hands roamed to your waist, pulling you in even closer.

the kiss became more demanding, more intense, as your hands found their way into his hair, tugging him closer. the world around you disappeared. there was only him, only the feel of his lips and the heat of his touch.

"jump," sunoo murmured into the kiss, his voice low and commanding, yet somehow full of need. his hands slid down your body, urging you to respond, to give in to him fully.

you didn’t think twice. without hesitation, you wrapped your legs around him, and he caught you with ease, lifting you effortlessly. the way his body moved with yours felt so surreal as you melted into him, every ounce of you craving more.

he gently laid you down on the bed, hovering over you, his body a warm against yours. the space between you was almost non-existent, your chests rising and falling in time with the rapid beat of your hearts.

he leaned down, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his gaze intense. "do you really want this?"hHis voice was soft, almost tender, but there was seriouness beneath it that made you pause for a moment.

your breath hitched, but you nodded, wanting this more than anything. you needed him. the words were on the tip of your tongue, but your body was saying it all already.

but sunoo wasn’t satisfied with just that. his eyes showed something deeper that made your stomach tighten with both excitement and a hint of fear. "words, baby. i need words." his tone softened.

you swallowed hard, your heartbeat quickening. you could feel the weight of his gaze on you, and suddenly, it was harder to breathe, harder to speak. but you knew what you wanted, what your omega needed.

"yes," you breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper. "i want this, sunoo. i want you."

his eyes darkened, he leaned in again, capturing your lips in a kiss that was all heat, all want, all raw desire. you could feel everything in that kiss; his hesitation, his longing, and his need for you just as much as you needed him.

you let out a soft whine, almost biting your lower lip in an attempt to control the heat of emotions eunning through you. sunoo chuckled against your lips, the sound low and dark, vibrating through your chest.

"i got you, baby," he whispered, his voice low and husky, sending a thrill through your entire body.

your body trembled the moment his lips found the soft spot on your neck, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. his hands began to tease the hem of your short dress, his fingers grazing the skin of your thighs, drawing slow circles with the tips of his fingers.

“mhmm,” you gasped, biting your lip, your eyes fluttering closed as his lips left a trail of heated kisses along your neck, teasing, torturing you with every press of his lips. you could feel the pressure building, your body responding to his touch in ways you couldn’t control.

"alpha," a tiny moan slipped from your lips when you felt his hand brush closer to your core, the heat between your legs intensifying as his fingers inched closer. the sound of his name on your lips only seemed to fuel him more, his grip tightening around your waist.

the sound of his name on your lips only seemed to fuel him further, his grip tightening around your waist as he continued to tease you. his fingers swirled around your clothed entrance, collecting the wetness seeping through your panties. falling over his forehead as your breaths came in and out in shallow gasps.

sunoo's eyes never left yours as his fingers finally make contact with your throbbing core, sliding your panties effortlessly to the side as his fingers made its way between your folds.

the sensation was overwhelming, and you couldn't help but arch your back, pressing yourself closer to him. his thumb circles your sensitive bud, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. you arch into his touch, desperate for more friction. sunoo's dark eyes burn with desire as he watches your reactions, clearly enjoying the power he has over you.

"such a responsive omega," he murmurs, his hot breath fanning across your skin. "i've barely touched you and you're already falling apart."

sunoo's fingers stray away from your core and you let out a whine, wanting more of his touch. but he just chuckles and lifts his hand to lightly brush against your cheek.

"not so fast," he teases, his voice low and sensual. "i want to take my time with you."

your heart races at his words, knowing that sunoo was always one for attention to detail. he leans down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss as his hands tug at your dress, pulling it all the way down leaving you exposed. his hand traveled down your body to cup your breast. you moan into his mouth as he massages the soft flesh, his thumb teasing your hardened nipple through the fabric of your bra.

you arch into his touch, wanting more of him. sunoo breaks the kiss and trails hot kisses down your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin as he slowly removes your bra. his lips move lower and lower until they reach the swell of your breasts, his tongue darting out to circle around one nipple while his hand plays with the other.

you can feel yourself getting wetter by the second, desperate for your alpha's touch between your legs once again. but he continues to take his time, worshipping every part of you with his mouth and hands.

finally, when you think you can't take it anymore, sunoo's fingers return back to where they were before; teasing at your entrance. this time, he dips a finger inside of you and you gasp at the sudden intrusion.

"more," you plead, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

the pink haired alpha smirks down at you before adding another finger and curling them inside of you. your walls clench around him as he hits that perfect spot inside of you, sending sparks flying through your body.

he continues this rhythm until you're practically begging for release. with one final thrust of his fingers, you come undone, your body shaking as you ride out your high.

sunoo pulled your panties down as he positioned himself in between your legs, kneeling on the side of the bed. Yyur heart raced as you watched him, feeling a mix of anticipation and nervousness.

as if sensing your thoughts, sunoo leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead, his hands roaming over your thighs. "you're so beautiful," he whispered before trailing kisses down your stomach.

your skin tingled at his words and touch, and you couldn't help but spread your legs wider for him. sunoo's lips moved lower, leaving a trail of kisses and open-mouthed bites along your inner thighs.

you moaned in pleasure and frustration, wanting him to finally take you but also enjoying the slow buildup. sunoo looked up at you with a wicked glint in his eye before finally running his tongue along your folds.

the sensation was unlike anything you've ever felt before, sending bolts of electricity through every nerve in your body. you gripped onto the sheets tightly as Sunoo continued to explore every inch of you with his mouth.

his movements were slow, teasing and tantalizing you until you were begging for more. but Sunoo seemed to be in control of both himself and you, denying you the release you craved until he was satisfied.

just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, he finally gave in and brought you to the brink once again. this time, there was no holding back as he used his tongue and fingers to push you over the edge into pure bliss.

you cried out his name as waves of pleasure consumed every part of your being. sunoo pulled away from you with a smirk on his face as he watched the aftermath of what he had done to you.

you whine, "alpha, please, i need you."

sunoo had to suppress a groan while watching your face contort in pleasure. he gently takes your hand once more and asks, "are you sure you want this?"

you nodded eagerly, your body craving sunoo's touch once again. You had begged and pleaded for him to take you, and you were finally getting what you wanted.

the alpha leaned down to kiss you deeply, his hand caressing your cheek. "then i'll give you everything," he whispered against your lips before kissing you more fiercely.

sunoo's lips never left yours as he clumsily removed his pants and button up shirt, you could feel his heat radiating off of him, the scent of his pheromones making your body ache for him even more.

the smell of rum and neroli filled your senses as sunoo's naked body pressed against yours. he kissed you deeply, his hands roaming over every inch of your body.

you moaned into his mouth, your hands gripping onto him tightly.

he pulled away, positioning himself between your legs, ready to claim what was rightfully his. but before he could fully enter you, he paused and looked deep into your eyes.

"i'm giving you one last time to think about this, omega, are you really sure about this?" he asked one final time, wanting to make sure you were comfortable and consenting before marking you as his mate, his omega, his (y/n).

you nodded, knowing that there was no one else you'd rather be with in this moment. sunoo's lips curved into a small smile before lacing his fingers with yours.

sunoo slowly entered you, his pace gentle as he made sure to take care of you. the bond between an alpha and omega was sacred, and sunoo wanted to make sure that he showed you the love and respect you deserved.

his movements were slow and careful, as if he was afraid of hurting you, his eyes never leaving yours as he made love to you. you could feel the connection between the two of you growing stronger with each thrust, your bodies moving in perfect harmony.

"fuck, omega, you're way too good to me," sunoo whispered in your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. you moaned in response, the pleasure building up inside of you once again.

his hands roamed over your body, caressing every inch of skin as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. he knew exactly how to touch you, and it was sending you over the edge.

"faster, please. i'm not gonna break if you go rough on me, alpha," the pout on your lips and the pleading in your eyes only drove sunoo wild with desire.

he couldn't resist your request any longer and began to pick up his pace, his thrusts becoming harder and faster. you moaned in pleasure, feeling a rush of ecstasy as he hit all the right spots inside of you.

"you're so beautiful like this, (y/n)," sunoo groaned, his primal instincts taking over.

your body was trembling with pleasure as sunoo's movements became more urgent and primal. he was completely lost in his alpha instincts, the need to claim you consuming him.

he leaned down to capture your lips in a heated kiss, his hand tangling in your hair as he continued to thrust into you.

your gasps and moans only drove him further, his movements becoming rougher and more animalistic. but it only added to the pleasure coursing through your body, making you crave him even more.

"god, (y/n), i can't get enough of you," sunoo growled against your neck, his voice filled with desire and possessiveness. "i want to claim you as mine."

you could feel his alpha instincts taking over once again, his need to mark and protect what was his. but instead of feeling scared, you felt a sense of comfort wash over you.

you turned to look at him with a small smile on your face. "i'm already yours, alpha," you said, placing a hand on his cheek. "and i want to be marked by you."

sunoo's eyes widened in surprise at your words. he knew that marking an omega was a sacred act and it required their full consent. he didn't want to rush into anything without making sure that it was what you truly wanted.

"(y/n), are you sure? you don't have to do this for me," he said gently, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face.

"i'm sure," you replied, "i trust you completely, sunoo."

without another word, sunoo leaned down and pressed his lips against the scent gland on your neck. a low growl rumbled from deep within his chest as he marked you as his own.

the pain was intense and you hissed, clenching your fists as sunoo's teeth pierced into your skin. you could feel blood trickling down your neck and tears stung at the corner of your eyes.

but despite the pain, you couldn't help but feel a sense of pleasure. sunoo was claiming you as his mate, your alpha marking you as his own.

once he was finished, he pulled away and looked at you with an apologetic expression. "i'm sorry if that hurt, baby," he said gently, placing a kiss on the bite mark he left on your neck.

"it's okay," you replied with a small smile, running your fingers through his hair lovingly. "this is all i ever wanted."

sunoo's eyes softened at your words and he pulled you into a tight embrace. "i love you so much," he whispered against your ear.

the pain from the bite mark on your neck was quickly forgotten as sunoo's movements became more intense. he wasn't holding back anymore, his alpha instincts taking over completely.

"let go, omega," he growled, his voice deep and commanding. "i want to hear you scream my name."

and that's exactly what you did. you let go of and gave into the pleasure that was consuming you. sunoo's name fell from your lips like a mantra, a chant of worship for your alpha.

he continued to move, each thrust filled with passion and love for you. it was as if he was pouring all of his emotions into this one act of claiming you.

the air between the two of you only grew heavier with each passing moment. your bodies were perfectly in sync, and it felt like nothing could ever come between the two of you, not even time itself.

and when you both finally reached your climax, it was like an explosion had gone off within both of you. sunoo collapsed onto the bed next to you, pulling you into his arms as he caught his breath.

"you are mine," he said softly, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "my omega."

you smiled against his chest, feeling completely content and at peace in his embrace. "and you are my alpha," you replied lovingly.

the soft, golden light spilling through the open curtains gently woke you from your slumber. as the morning sun began its slow ascent. you stirred slightly, the remnants of sleep clinging to you, and instinctively shifted closer to the source of warmth beside you.

you look up, your eyes tracing the features of the boy who had been at the center of your every thought. sunoo’s face, so peaceful in sleep, seemed almost boyish now, free of the guarded expressions he often wore. his lashes, longer than you remembered, rested softly against his cheeks, and the faint glow of the morning light highlighted his face.

his arm was draped lazily over your waist, his body heat contrasting the coolness of the morning air. the rise and fall of his chest brushed softly against your front. a faint smile tugged at the corners of your lips as the familiar scent of him, his scent, which had been so intoxicating last night, was now calm; as if even his very being had been softened by the events of the night before.

you let out a quiet sigh, shifting your position so you were half-laying on him, your hand resting on his chest. slowly, you began running your fingers gently through his messy pink hair, marveling at how soft it felt under your touch.

you leaned down, pressing soft kisses against his cheeks. his skin was warm beneath your lips, and the movement of his chest against yours felt surreal.

sunoo stirred at the feeling, a low hum escaping his lips as his brow furrowed slightly. he opened one eye, squinting against the soft sunlight filtering into the room. for a moment, he seemed dazed, his gaze searching the room before landing on you. when realization dawned, his features softened, and a small, sleepy smile graced his lips.

“good morning,” he mumbled, his voice low and husky from sleep. he let out a deep sigh, his arm tightening around your waist as he pulled you closer. “you’re still here,” he murmured, almost to himself, as if reassuring himself that you hadn’t slipped away in the night.

you chuckled softly, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “where else would i be?” you whispered, your voice warm and teasing.

he closed his eye again, leaning into your touch. “nowhere,” he said with a sigh, his tone filled with a quiet kind of relief. “you belong here. right here.”

you couldn’t help but smile at his words, the warmth in your chest growing. “i'm not going anywhere,” you teased lightly, your voice playful as you ran your fingers through his soft hair. “not in my own house, at least.”

his other eye cracked open at that, and he chuckled softly, his hand on your waist squeezing gently. "your brother’s going to have my head for ‘defiling’ his little sister,” he murmured, his voice a low, teasing growl.

you rolled your eyes, though the nervousness bubbling in your stomach made it hard to hide the faint blush creeping up your neck. “sunghoon doesn’t even have a clue,” you retorted, a bit of nervous laughter escaping as you pushed the thought aside.

“not yet,” sunoo said, his smile widening as he traced the lines of your jaw with his finger. “but you know, i can’t help but think he’s got some sort of radar for these things.”

“please, i think you’re giving him too much credit,” you shot back, trying to keep your voice light even though the possibility of sunghoon finding out was looming over you. the thought of facing your brother’s wrath made your stomach flip.

sunoo’s eyes glinted with amusement. “right,” he said, voice dipping. “but, se’s probably still got his eye on you. wouldn’t put it past him.”

you groaned, burying your face in his chest to hide the sudden embarrassment that surged through you. “please don’t remind me. i’s bad enough i’ve got to deal with his protectiveness all the time.”

sunoo chuckled, his hand gently lifting your chin so that you met his gaze again. “i’m sure he’ll get over it,” he said softly, though his tone was a little too calm for your liking. “eventually. but in the meantime, i’m not exactly worried.”

you shifted slightly, meeting his teasing look with a small smile. “easy for you to say,” you mumbled, trying to push away the nerves in your stomach. “i don’t think you’ll be on his good side anytime soon.”

he leaned in, brushing his lips lightly against your forehead, his touch was soft. “i’ll take my chances,” he whispered, the warmth of his breath sending a shiver through you.

just as the moment seemed to turn into something more intimate, a loud crash broke the silence, followed by the all-too-familiar voice of ni-ki shouting from somewhere downstairs.

"do i look like i know?" his voice echoed, followed by the unmistakable sound of something clattering to the floor.

then came the unmistakable bark of your brother’s voice, cutting through the air authoritative, but completely incoherent. he sounded of frustrated and confused, but the words got lost in the noises of whatever had just happened.

the alpha below you immediately tensed, his body stilling as the atmosphere shifted into something more cautious. his expression shifted to something more serious, his lips pressing into a thin line.

you looked down at him, your voice barely above a whisper. “should we face them?”

sunoo didn’t hesitate. his hand found yours, his fingers intertwining with yours, soothing you. he looked at you protectively. “i’m your alpha now,” he said softly, “you’re mine, and you’re my responsibility. i won’t let you face this alone, not after everything.”

you let out a breath, your nerves easing a little, as you tried to steady your racing heart. “okay,” you whispered back, your voice steady, now more than ever.

you stood up, grabbing shirt that now hung loosely on your frame and paired it with some pants you found scattered around. you weren’t thinking of the mess, of the clothes, of anything. and though the reality of your brother waiting on the other side of the door was still there, the warmth of sunoo beside you made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you could face it.

sunoo had his pants from last night on, but he was buttoning up his blazer. you watched him for a moment, the way his focus was on you, the way he looked at you like you were the center of his world, like nothing else mattered.

"ready?" his voice was soft, but there was intensity behind it as he pulled you flush against him, your bodies pressed together. his warmth enveloped you completely. his chest against yours, his hands firm on your waist.

before you could respond, his lips found yours in a soft, loving kiss, and it was everything you didn’t know you needed. the kiss was tender, sweet.

you couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, the way your heart raced, the feeling of everything coming together just right. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, needing him, feeling safe with him.

you pulled away just slightly, your lips parting with a soft sigh. "come on, you can have more when we finish this faster," you teased, your voice playful and full of warmth.

he pulled back just enough to look at you, the grin on his face soft but full of affection. “yes, ma’am,” he responded with a playful glint in his eyes, a gentle smile that made your heart skip a beat.

you and sunoo descended the stairs hand in hand, the soft patter of your steps echoing through the quiet hall. the mess from the previous night had been surprisingly cleaned up, with only a few stray cups and streamers scattered across the expanse of the hallway.

as you both walked, the sound of the argument only grew louder, the echoes of raised voices filling the air. sunghoon’s voice rang out angrily, unmistakably tense.

“do not tell me to calm down, jay!” his words were heated, frustration dripping from every syllable.

“calm your fucking balls, Sunghoon,” jay’s voice was laced with annoyance, “(y/n) is big enough to fend for herself.”

that only seemed to enrage sunghoon more. “okay, so where the fuck is she then?”

as the tension in the air became unbearable, sunoo shifted slightly beside you. his hand tightened briefly around yours, he shot you a quick glance, a look filled with reassurance. it was as if he was saying, i’ve got this. trust me. you nodded subtly, taking a deep breath.

then, with confidence, he stepped forward, placing himself just slightly in front of you. his voice cut through the rowdy alpha's argument like a blade. “she’s with me.”

the room fell silent, sunghoon’s head snapping toward the two of you. his eyes zeroed in on sunoo, and you could see the way his jaw tense. “you good-for-nothing alpha,” he spat, his voice shaking with anger. “what the fuck did you do?”

you instinctively stepped closer to sunoo, but he was already ahead of you, placing a protective hand on your back and guiding you behind him with a calm, practiced motion. “stay back,” he murmured, barely audible, his tone meant for your ears only.

sunghoon’s anger exploded as he stepped forward, grabbing sunoo by the collar with a force that made your heart leap into your throat. “you fucking traitor!” sunghoon snarled, his voice loud.hHe yanked sunoo closer, his other hand twitching like he was ready to throw a punch.

but sunoo didn’t flinch. even with sunghoon’s grip pulling him off balance, he held his ground, his eyes steady and locked onto sunghoon’s. “calm down, sunghoon,” sunoo said, his firm, not a hint of fear in it.

“calm down?!” sunghoon’s voice cracked with anger. “you had one job, kim! stay away from her! she’s my sister, not some—”

“not some what?” sunoo interrupted, his voice rising slightly, but not losing his cool despite his closest friend calling him by his last name. “she’s not a child, and she’s certainly not yours to control.”

sunghoon’s hand shook violently, still gripping sunoo’s collar. “i already warned you! but you didn’t fucking listen!” his tone cracked, frustration laced with something else—fear, perhaps, or betrayal. “she’s not some toy for you to play with, sunoo! she’s my sister! my responsibility!”

sunoo’s gaze remained steady, his calm composure a contrast to the anger raging in sunghoon’s eyes. se slowly raised his hands, gripping sunghoon’s wrist firmly but without aggression. “i didn’t betray you, sunghoon,” he said, his voice low, almost like he was trying to speak directly to the part of sunghoon that could still listen. “do you even hear yourself? you’re acting like i don’t care about her.”

sunghoon’s jaw tightened, but his grip on sunoo’s collar didn’t loosen. sis chest rose and fell rapidly, anger still boiling within him.

sunoo’s next words were softer but carried a something that made them feel heavier than anything else he had said. “do you know how long i’ve loved her?” his voice trembled slightly, “i’ve loved her the moment you decided to leave us alone in front of the office when you got into a fist fight, sunghoon. i’ve loved her longer than i even understood what love really meant. it’s her, it’s always been her.”

“you think i’d ever hurt her?” sunoo continued, “you think i’d risk everything—my friendship with you, my own pride; just to ‘play’ with her?"

sunghoon faltered, his anger replaced by confusion. “but you—” his voice cracked, his own disbelief choking the words.

sunoo let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head. “that I never wanted a mate?” His tone was sharp, yet there was vulnerability in it. “yeah, i said that. i convinced myself that i didn’t, because what was the point of wanting something i thought i couldn’t have? i thought if i ignored it, if i denied myself, it wouldn’t hurt as much.”

he looked directly into sunghoon’s eyes, “but no matter how hard i tried to push it down, it’s always been her, sunghoon. always. she’s not something i could walk away from. she’s my mate.”

sunghoon’s grip on sunoo’s collar loosened, his fists trembling at his sides. “you should’ve told me,” he muttered, his voice cracking, a mix of anger, hurt, and guilt evident in his tone.

sunoo sighed, his shoulders sagging slightly. “and what would you have done, huh? approved? given me your blessing? you’ve made it crystal clear for years that no one was good enough for her, least of all me. do you know how many times i almost told you but stopped myself because i knew how you'd react?”

sunghoon clenched his jaw, “i’m not angry because you love her,” he said, his voice quieter but no less strained. “i’m angry because i trusted you to keep her safe. and now… now it feels like you’ve crossed a line.”

sunoo took a deep breath, his voice soft. “you don’t have to trust me right now, sunghoon. but you can trust her. she chose me, just like i’ve chosen her. and i’ll spend the rest of my life proving to both of you that i’ll never break that trust.”

the pink-haired alpha's gaze softened as his eyes found yours, his gaze was steady, and it gave you the courage you needed to take a step forward.

you turned to Sunghoon, your heart pounding in your chest as you met his stare. his jaw was tight, his fists still clenched, but beneath the anger, you could see the hurt; the protective brother who just wanted what was best for you.

"i love him, sunghoon. i really do," you said, your voice steady despite the nervous tremble in your hands. “this isn’t a decision i made lightly. i know what I’m doing, and i know who i’m choosing.”

sunghoon’s eyes flicked between you and sunoo, his shoulders stiffened, his lips pressing into a thin line, but he didn’t interrupt.

you stepped closer to him, your voice softening. “i know you’re angry, and i get it. you’ve always looked out for me, always tried to protect me from anything that could hurt me. but sunoo isn’t going to hurt me. he’s not just anyone, he's everything to me.”

sunoo moved closer, standing at your side. his hand brushed yours, a silent gesture that you leaned into instinctively. “i’m not asking for your approval right now,” sunoo said, his tone calm. “i know i have to earn that, and i’m willing to. but i’m not walking away from her, not now, not ever.”

sunghoon let out a heavy breath, his hands dropping to his sides. his gaze lingered on you, the conflict in his expression cutting deeper than any angry words could. "do you really think he can give you everything you need?" he finally asked, his voice quieter now, tinged with vulnerability.

you nodded without hesitation. “i do. and i hope one day you’ll see it too.”

sunghoon let out a defeated sigh, his shoulders sagging as the tension seemed to drain from his body. “this… this is going to take some time to get used to,” he admitted, his voice quieter now. his gaze flicked to sunoo, then back to you. “but if you’re happy, i’ll try. just… don’t make me regret this.”

relief washed over you, and you felt sunoo’s hand squeeze yours gently. you gave your brother a small, grateful smile. “thank you, sunghoon. that’s all i could ever ask for.”

before anyone could say more, a loud groan broke the moment. “thank fucking god,” heeseung said dramatically, burying his face in his hands. “i was not ready to explain to the hospital why i was dragging sunoo’s dead body in.”

his mate, standing beside him, rolled her eyes and smacked his arm lightly. “heeseung, stop being so dramatic,” she said, though the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her amusement.

heeseung peeked through his fingers, giving her a mock-hurt expression. “i’m just saying! Sunghoon was about two seconds away from committing a crime.”

“i wasn’t going to kill him,” sunghoon muttered, though his lips twitched, betraying the hint of a reluctant smile. “maybe just rough him up a little.”

“uh-huh, sure,” jake cut in with a snort, arms crossed and a smug grin plastered on his face. “maybe that’s why you were muttering about burying him alive earlier. real subtle, man.”

sunghoon shot jake a look, his ears slightly reddening. “i was venting bullshit, okay? that doesn’t mean i was going to actually do it.” his tone was annoyed, but the way jake kept smirking made it clear sunghoon wasn’t convincing anyone.

sunoo raised his free hand in mock surrender, his other still holding yours tightly. “okay, great, glad to know i’m not completely safe,” he said, voice light but laced with humor. “that definitely did not make me feel better.”

jake laughed, slapping sunoo on the back. “relax, man. if sunghoon really wanted to bury you alive, you’d already be in the dirt. guess that means he likes you more than he lets on.”

sunghoon rolled his eyes, groaning. “jake, shut up.”

sunoo’s lips curved into the faintest of smiles, the kind that reached his eyes, crinkling them at the edges. without breaking eye contact, he raised your joined hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

the warmth of his breath against your skin sent a shiver down your spine, and your cheeks warmed under his gaze. it wasn’t just the kiss; it was the way he looked at you, like you were his entire universe. “we’re okay,” he murmured quietly, just for you.

jake, however, wasn’t about to let the moment pass unteased. “aw, would you look at that?” he said, clapping his hands dramatically. “our boy’s gone all soft. sunghoon, are you seeing this? he’s whipped.”

sunghoon shot jake a glare, but even he didn’t miss the faint smirk tugging at his lips. sunoo, though, didn’t even bother responding this time, his focus entirely on you.

and as the chatter of the room carried on, you couldn’t help but feel like, somehow, everything was exactly as it should be.

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© 2025 liuhsng — reblogs are highly appreciated and please don't hesitate to request some fics here if you want me to write anything !

[megalony]

My Squad

This is a dad! Evan Buckley imagine I am thinking of turning into a series if anyone would be interested in reading it. Any feedback or ideas are always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@butlegendsneverdie@langdonzvoid@jennyggggrrr@rogmeddows@radiob-l-a-hblah@rogertaylorsbitontheside@chlobo6@rogertaylors-lipgloss@sj-thefanthefan@omgitsearly@luckytrashgooprebel@scarsout@deaky-with-a-c@killer-queen-ofrhye@bluutac@vousmemanqueez-blog@jonesyaddiction@milanosaurus@httpfandxms@saint-hardy@7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls@mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway

911 Masterlist

Summary: Evan hasn't been with the team long and has kept his family a secret, but now he is ready for the team to meet his daughters. All of them.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evan loved his job.

Out of all the other odd jobs, random placements and painful experiences he had worked at throughout the years, being a fireman was his calling. It was the one job he felt so at home and eager to do and proud of. And it was the first time he had felt like his colleagues were his family.

But despite feeling like the team were his family, Evan made a quick decision not to tell them about the family he had waiting for him at home when he clocked out each shift.

There were different reasons he didn't tell the team. They all knew he was married, that was something Evan had to disclose in his interview since (Y/n) was his emergency contact so if something happened, she would be able to find him at the hospital if a situation ever arose. But he didn't tell them the rest.

Hen thought of him as a playboy, she'd made that clear from the start and maybe that was just due to the impression Evan gave off. He looked carefree and he was daring and hot headed and passionate when he did his job, his attitude was loving but not exactly the image of a family man. So Hen didn't think Evan was 'dad material' and he didn't take it to heart, he knew looks could be deceiving.

Chimney seemed to think Evan was putting up a front, he was always commenting on how if Evan had a wife waiting at home- he had never met (Y/n) so was slightly sceptical if Evan actually was married or not- he could be so daring in the job. He was first to climb the ladder or run into a burning building.

He didn't understand that it was in Evan's nature to be quick thinking and push forward and do whatever he could to help and think of the consequences afterwards. And at the front of Evan's mind was always his family, he didn't rush into things without considering them. Chimney didn't know this, he didn't see it.

For Bobby, Evan got the impression his captain thought he was young and quite like a puppy, still finding his way in life and working out what he was doing. Bobby thought of Evan as his kid, he thought of him as younger than he really was.

And Eddie, he was still the newbie to the team. He was working them all out and getting into their way of things and getting to know them. Evan didn't give the same 'dad vibes' as Eddie.

No one knew about his children.

He did hint, once or twice, about who he was going home to and what he had hidden behind closed doors. But Evan didn't want to rush into things when this was the best job he'd had and the best people to work with. Evan wasn't good with change and if they knew about his family, dynamics would change. He hadn't brought his family or even (Y/n) to the Christmas party last year.

It had been the first event Evan had been to since he joined the team and he was too anxious about telling them he had a family to actually break the news and bring them along. His family was his everything and he liked having a little secret at home to come back to.

He was ready now.

He was ready for the team to meet his family because he was tired of being questioned if his wife was real or just imaginary. He was tired or the team calling him a daredevil with no conscience and no rationality or consequences. If this was going to be his team and his family for the foreseeable future, he could let them into his world and let them see what he was always fighting for.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

Evan tilted his head down to the right when (Y/n)'s voice, laced with sleep, broke him out of his thoughts and changed the quiet atmosphere surrounding them. It dawned on him then that while he'd been laid on his back with his left arm behind his head, his fingers had been tapping on the headboard.

It was an old habit he couldn't break when he was deep in thought or anxious about something. It had been so automatic that he didn't even hear or feel his knuckles rapping on the wood until now.

"Sorry, just thinking," He tightened his right arm around (Y/n)'s waist, smiling to himself when he felt her move against him. Her arm crept higher over his chest until her hand was curled around his tense shoulder and her upper chest was laid over his. She nuzzled her face against his other shoulder she was laid on and pressed a butterfly kiss against his collar bone that made him shiver.

"About what?" (Y/n) feathered her fingers over his shoulder as she breathed in his scent.

She could feel his heartbeat beneath her ear and the way it pulsed through her skin like a steady drum, trying to coax her back into slumber again. Whenever Evan did a night shift, (Y/n) couldn't sleep. She was too used to laying on top of him and hearing his heartbeat lull her to sleep.

"Introducing you and the girls to the team."

"Is that what you want?" (Y/n) could feel herself waking up a little when it registered what he had said. She knew how important his family and his work family were to Evan and how he wanted them separate for the time being. But if he was ready to introduce them all, (Y/n) wasn't going to say no.

It would be lovely to put faces to the names of the people he had been telling her about. The people that kept her husband safe for her while he was at work. The people who he risked his life for and who, in turn, risked their lives for him.

"Yeah, I want them to meet you all." He reeled her into his side and pressed a sloppy kiss to her temple, unable to stop from smiling against her skin.

Maybe it was time to introduce them.

***

"Stay close girls, I don't want you wandering round here." (Y/n) eyed two of her girls closely and tilted her head at them so they knew she was being serious. The last thing she wanted was to lose the girls at the station and then an alarm go off and chaos ensued.

They had to stay close and within her sights so no trouble was caused, this was the first time the girls would see their dad at work.

It wasn't supposed to be today, but plans had changed.

"I want daddy," Ella bit her thumb, her big blue eyes doing a wide sweep of the station that looked as big as her whole school, playground included. She couldn't see her dad anywhere and she had been crying for him for the last hour. The little girl was getting restless.

"We're gonna find him now." Reaching down, (Y/n) brushed Ella's hair behind her ear before she juggled Cora a little higher on her hip. She didn't have time to struggle getting the pushchair into the car when she had to go and pick the girls up from school and now she was regretting it. She had to carry Cora around with her, lest she wanted to set her down on the floor and watch her crawl around the station and drool everywhere.

"Hi, can I help you?" Chimney stuffed his hands into his pockets, smiling brightly at the four girls he saw walking past the truck, clearly lost in the station.

"Hi… is Evan around? Is it okay if we see him?" (Y/n) smiled nervously and did another double take of the station. She could hear voices coming from the loft upstairs but she couldn't see who was up there.

"Sure, he's just upstairs… you must be Maddie, I'm Howie, but everyone calls me Chimney."

(Y/n) felt her smile melt into a more comfortable one as she walked over to him, making sure Angel and Ella were right behind her as Chimney guided them over towards the stairs. Evan had told the team he had a big sister then, at least he had opened up to them a little. (Y/n) knew he told them he was married, it was the girls he hadn't said anything about.

He didn't mention he had three of them.

"Hey Chim… do we have guests for dinner?" Bobby moved the large dish of pasta into the centre of the table before he pulled back and placed his hands on his hips. His smile was warm and inviting as he looked over the troop of girls who were stood beside chimney.

No one mentioned having family or guests popping by the station today, not that it really mattered. Anyone was welcome as long as it wasn't an inspection day or the bell didn't go off unannounced and ruin things. The station was warm and friendly, they wanted family to feel safe and comfortable coming here and being around the team.

"I think we do, this is-"

"(Y/n)?" Evan almost dropped the bottle of water he just got out the fridge when he turned around and clocked his gaze on his wife.

What was she doing here? Why did she have the girls with her? They should be at school right now.

"Surprise," She bounced Cora on her hip who gurgled, content at pulling the necklace tight in her fist and try to shove it into her mouth.

"Wait, (Y/n)?" Chimney pulled his hands from his pockets and turned at an angle to look at the woman stood beside him. She didn't correct him when he assumed she was Buck's sister Maddie. She didn't say her name or even say anything. This couldn't be the girl Buck was always telling them about, the girl Chimney had been very sure didn't actually exist. She was as beautiful as Buck always boasted.

"Daddy!" Ella could of cried when her blurry eyes finally set on the one person she had been crying out for during the past hour or so.

She pulled away from her big sister and bolted past the large table, bypassed Bobby who seemed to be in her way and made a beeline towards Evan, almost knocking him down with her force. She barelled into his arms, narrowly missing his legs when he lifted her up so she didn't rugby-tackle him down into the fridge behind him.

He lifted her up and swung her round in the air, a bright smile painting his face as he lowered her back down and snuggled her into his chest. His arms pinned her against his chest and he smothered her temple with kisses to feel her squirm and wriggle against him.

"Hi baby! Why aren't you at school?" Evan's voice was a notch higher than normal and full of surprise as he rubbed his cheek against the top of her head and shimmied side to side with his middle girl.

"Hi daddy,"

"Hi sweetie," Evan cooed back and raised his free hand to his temple before he slowly stretched his arm out in the sign for hello.

He grinned broadly when Angel trotted over and wrapped her arms around his legs, burrowing into him to get some of his attention since she was here too. She was the eldest, after all, she was the one who Evan always called his 'little angel' and not just because it was her name. She was his first born, then Ella was his middle girl who was his little double, and Cora was his youngest baby.

"Buck, care to introduce us?" Bobby clamped one hand down on his hip and reached the other out to lean against the kitchen counter.

He rose his brows and quirked a smile as Chimney stood flabbergasted, Hen sat at the table with an open mouth and shock written on her face.

And Eddie did well to hide his surprise as he made a beeline for (Y/n) and the toddler in her arms.

"Guys, this is (Y/n)," Evan pointed over to his wife who he slowly shuffled towards with Angel still clinging to his legs. "This is my eldest, Angel, then there's Ella here," He bounced her on his hip but she hid her face in his neck, too shy to look around. "And the youngest there is Cora; meet my squad."

All of them could see Evan had a proud smile, bright shining eyes and a deep chuckle hiding in his chest. These were his girls, his squad of ladies and he was proud and cherished each of them. He had his wife and three special girls to show off and now the team could see that he wasn't the reckless person they all thought he was. He was a proud dad to three girls.

"Girls, this is my captain Bobby… that's Hen, Chimney you've seen, and this is my pal Eddie."

"You didn't mention anything about this. Where have you been hiding them?" Hen spoke around her cup of coffee but she was too shocked to take another sip.

Buck; their nutter Buck was a dad. He had three children hidden away that they had no idea about.

"You don't waste much time, do you Buck?" Eddie smirked, letting his eyes drift between his friend and (Y/n) until the rest of the team looked over and it clicked in.

She was pregnant.

"I told you, this is my squad."

(Y/n) rolled her eyes but her smile gave away the slight blush and embarrassment she felt. This was exactly what they both had been expecting when the team realised that Evan wasn't even thirty yet and he already had three children, soon to become four.

Her gaze turned back to Eddie who was tickling Cora and she happily handed her toddler over when he muttered a kind 'may I?'. He moved to sit down at the table with Cora on his lap, bouncing her up and down and entertaining her like a champion.

"Now why aren't you at school?" Evan looked back down at Ella and gently brushed his thumb against her cheek to try and get her to talk to him but she stayed quiet and instead buried her face more into his neck to hide herself away.

Looking down at his eldest girl, Evan adjusted Ella a bit higher in his arms so he could raise his hands out in front of him with Ella in the crook of his elbow. He raised his left palm up and pressed his right palm down like he was making a funny clap, doing the sign language for school while he simultaneously whispered 'no school' at her. He was the one who had dropped them both off at school this morning and he knew they shouldn't have left early today which begged the question, why were they here now at lunch time?

The seven-year-old looked up at him with her doe eyes and then looked across at her mum instead.

"They gave out cookies at school but no one mentioned they had milk in them."

"Lactose intolerant?" Hen muttered quietly but she pursed her lips and realised she had to be wrong when she saw Evan's reaction. He quickly pulled Ella back and cupped her face in his palm to look down at her and examine her like he'd been told she had been shot. His fingertips skimmed across her face before going to examine her neck which made the little girl pull back with a whine.

He could see it now. He could see the dried tears staining her cheeks and the redness all around her eyes and the blotches across her cheeks and down her neck.

"Ella's allergic to milk," (Y/n) tried to smile but it was hard after the argument she'd just had with the school.

There was a laminated piece of paper in Ella's school bag that listed off her allergies and it was on her record and written down in reception and the classroom cupboard. No one could miss it or forget or not realise she had allergies. At home there was a big sticker that said 'Allergies: MILK' in bright brick red letters at the top so if anyone came round, they knew what they couldn't give to one of the girls. Then below that it listed her other allergies such as honey, lavender and plasters.

They had a section in the cupboard filled with all the biscuits and snacks Ella would eat which didn't contain milk.

Lavender brought Ella out in bright red splotches that itched and burned like she had been touched by a red hot poker. Plasters were less dramatic, they were irritating to her skin and slowly started to feel like they burned. Honey was hit and miss, it either made her chest burn and her skin blotch or she had a worse reaction and couldn't breathe.

But milk was the main allergy, anytime Ella had milk she went into anaphalactic shock. Her throat would swell and close up, her chest would ache and burn and she had to have one if not two shots of adrenaline from her EpiPen to stop the reaction.

When Ella was a baby, her allergy was less serious, they had to buy special baby powder that she could take. But as soon as she was a toddler and they tried any other form of milk, they had to take a drive down to A&E or call an ambulance.

"Did they use your EpiPen?" Evan spoke quietly, his brows still furrowed and his lips still held in a deep frown as he looked down at his daughter. He started to relax a little when Ella leaned into the palm of his hand and nuzzled her nose against his wrist making him feel more at ease but he still frowned when she nodded. She looked as if she was about to cry again but when she curled her arms around Evan's neck and he kissed her cheek, she seemed to calm down a bit more.

"I didn't know daddy, I only had one bite,"

"It's not your fault baby," He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and tightened his arms round her when she leaned her cheek on his shoulder.

The school had a list of Ella's allergies and they had two EpiPens, one in the classroom and one in the reception as a back up. She took her own pack up to school so there was no risk of anything being contaminated with milk but they should double check before they give her anything. (Y/n) had told them under no circumstances to give Ella anything that wasn't in a packet, especially cake when children brought in their birthday cake that didn't have a list of ingredients. It wasn't worth the risk when Ella had such a high allergy.

At least she was okay this time, Evan had been called before from the school saying she had two EpiPens administered and they called an ambulance as protocol.

(Y/n) got the phone call but they had been quick giving Ella her dose of adrenaline and she calmed down, started to breathe and talk just fine and when (Y/n) rushed down and checked her over, there was no need for an ambulance. But Ella was in a state and she didn't want to stay and to make things easier, she had collected Angel early as well so she didn't have to go back in a few hours and pick her up later.

The plan had been to take the girls home but Ella had cried as soon as she got in the car, demanding to see her dad. It was routine after any allergic reaction that Ella saw Evan and got comforted by him and today was no different, she wasn't going home without seeing her daddy.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Is that okay?" (Y/n) looked between Bobby and Evan, double checking that it would be okay for the girls to stay, none of them had had anything to eat yet other than a partial cookie that caused today's chaos.

"Of course! We have to get to know you all now anyway," Hen waved for them all to sit down around the table. It was the routine to eat dinner together as a family and now, finally, they could meet Buck's family and get to know them. They were going to be part of the 118 either way so they should stay.

Evan leaned over Eddie so he could give Cora a quick kiss, he hadn't seen his one year old yet who Eddie gently handed back to (Y/n). And Evan kissed (Y/n)'s temple before he moved and took a seat next to (Y/n) with Ella on his lap since she was attached to him at the moment. Angel moved to sit between Evan and Chimney while Bobby sat at the other end of the table.

A fondness washed over Bobby when he looked at Evan suddenly interacting with Angel.

He held his hands out in front of him and curled all fingers but his pinkies into his palm and made a circular motion with his hands before pulling his arms back at his sides like repelling magnets.

"Pasta for lunch sweetie," He spoke slow and clear and repeated the sign for pasta until Angel nodded and grinned. It was one of her favourites.

"What's the sign for hello?" Chimney looked over Angel at Evan who was sat on her other side but his eyes widened when Angel looked up at him and placed her hand to her head and did a salute. Hello was an easy sign, a simple gesture that many mistook for an army salute.

"She can read your lips if you speak clear, sign is just easier for her, we're working on pronouncing," Evan kissed her temple when she leaned into his arm, looking up at him with adoration in her eyes as she watched him explain.

Angel could speak but her pronouncing was a little bad at the moment, she could barely hear anyone or hear herself speak and it made her self conscious. Sign language was easier and calming for her because no one could make fun of how she said things and she could sign much faster than she could lip read or speak.

"Oh, right."

"Daddy…" Ella looked up at him with bashful eyes when he plated up Angel and himself a bowl of pasta, knowing Ella would share with him.

"No milk baby, I saw Bobby make it. You'll be fine." He winked down at her and took a mouthful before he stabbed another forkful and held it down towards her. He leaned his cheek against the top of her head to keep her calm and when she took a cautious bite, she grinned.

Evan went to take another mouthful but his jaw dropped and he gasped when Ella reached both her small hands up and grabbed his wrist to pull the fork down to her instead. She giggled when Evan tipped his head back and groaned but everyone else started to laugh.

"My daughters like your cooking, Cap." Evan gave up and handed Ella the fork so she could eat first, he knew he wasn't going to get very much now until she was finished. And he leaned over to the left and kissed Angel's forehead, rubbing his free hand up and down her back.

"I'm glad to hear it, that means they can all come by more often."

[mads-hemmo]

It’s Nice to Have A Friend - Jschlatt

Part 1

Reader has been lonely their whole life. They have never been in a relationship. They don’t understand why no one will love them but their best friend, Schlatt has always been in love with them.

Masterlist

From a young age, you have always been a hopeless romantic. Your favorite content always revolves around romance of some sort. You even have had your wedding planned since you went to your first wedding at merely six years old. Your plans are forever cemented on a Pinterest board that you continue to add to about monthly. I mean your taste has changed since 2015, but some things still remain true.

The only problem is that you haven’t got to experience romance yourself. At the ripe old age of 25, you have never been in a relationship. You have had your first kiss, but it wasn’t magical. You only did it because you hated being the college kid who had never kissed anyone. You slightly regret it, but at least it was out of the way.

The only good thing is that at least you have a best friend who you made a marriage pact with. You and your best friend Schlatt, met in middle school. When you were both sad and single in high school, you made a pact that if neither of you were married by 40, you would get married. It was just a silly thing that you both constantly laugh about.

When you met Schlatt in middle school, the two of you immediately hit it off. You saw Schlatt sitting by himself one day and decided to sit by him. You had a few classes with him and thought he seemed like a cool dude. At first he acted like he wanted to be alone, but you learned soon after that he really didn't have many friends. The two of you learned you had a lot in common. You both loved Nintendo, especially Mario Kart as well as computer games.

The one difference is you loved all things romance whereas Schlatt only cared about gaming and baseball. The really fucked up thing about the universe is that Schlatt has had multiple relationships while you remain single. His relationships usually never lasted, but it was still strange. The universe also made you bisexual and you still somehow manage to be lonely. But at least you had your best friend, Schlatt and that stupid marriage pact.

The hardest moment for you was when Schlatt decided to move to Austin, Texas. It was the longest and farthest apart you have ever been from each other. You knew it was good for career and would help him grow his channel, but it sucked being apart for so long. Thankfully, Schlatt made the decision to come back home to New York. When he came back, it was like nothing changed. You had your best friend back and nothing could make you happier.

Most of your nights lately have been spent hanging out at Schlatt’s apartment playing Mario Kart like you did as kids. Tonight was no different. Schlatt was playing as a Villager and you were playing as Cat Peach. “I tried downloading Tinder again,” you say, randomly.

“Why?” Schlatt asked, his eyes located on the screen.

“Maybe there’s someone new. We live in New York. Who knows who might have moved here? Maybe my soulmates!”

“Toots, how many times do I have to tell you? One, your soulmate is not going to be on tinder and two, you’re better off with a true New Yorker than some new kid that wants to make it on broadway or some shit.”

You sigh. “Oh my god, but imagine they are on broadway! You know my love for musical theatre! Maybe we need to go watch a show. The lead being so into their part locks eyes with me and we realize we are truly in love like the characters on the stage.”

Schlatt lets out a small laugh while rolling his eyes. “You are ridiculous, (Y/N),” he says, looking at you.

“You’re just mad that I’m kicking your ass right now.”

“You wish, Fucker,” he says, his competitive spirit coming back.

The two of you continue playing until you both decide you're hungry, so Schlatt orders pizza from your favorite place. “You staying the night?” Schlatt asks, grabbing the Bénédictine bottle and a few solo cups.

“Might as well. It’s the weekend after all,” you say, pouring the liquor into your cup.

“The guest room is always open for you. However, the cats have made it their own, so they might sleep with you.”

“It would be nice to have someone or something laying beside me even if it is just cats. I did always say I was going to be the crazy cat person, but the tables have seemed to turn,” you joke.

“I’m a very proud cat dad. They make great content and the ladies love them,” Schlatt says, moving his eyebrows.

You laugh at him. You miss the way his smiles grow with each laugh that leaves your mouth. “Did I tell you I started a new hobby?” You ask him.

“No? How do you have the time to have another hobby? What happened to crocheting or reading or shipping random men together?”

“I’m still doing all those things and I ship people of all genders. Anyways, I started coloring.”

“Coloring? Like with crayons?” He asks, not in a malicious way, but with genuine curiosity.

“No, with alcohol markers and white gel pens to add highlights. I saw it on TikTok of course and it’s been really fun. It’s also very stress relieving.”

“Can I see some of your finished work?” He asks, his eyes not breaking contact with yours.

“Oh yeah, sure,” you say, pulling your phone out. Sometimes you find it strange how Schlatt actually cares about your hobbies and various interests. He never makes you feel bad about it. He just lightly teases you, but you know that’s just how he is.

Schlatt looks at the pictures you took of the pages you have colored. “Awe I love the little kitty. They are cute! This is really impressive, Toots. It looks like you printed these out. Maybe next time you come over, you should bring your markers and we can color together. Mine won’t be near as good as yours, but I bet it would be fun,” Schlatt says.

You hold your pinky out and Schlatt wraps his around yours. “I’m holding you to that, Big Guy.”

“You know I’d never break a pinky promise. You bring the markers and I’ll bring the Bénédictine.” The marriage pact was formed on a pinky promise and that makes your heart feel warm.

You hear the doorbell ring and realize that your pinkies are still connected. You quickly get up to go answer the door. You see a very handsome man holding the pizza boxes. “Here’s your pizza,” he says. “It’s not everyday that I deliver to someone so pretty.” He winks at you.

“You’re too nice. Hold on, let me grab your tip,” you smile, turning around. You see Schlatt and he hands you a ten dollar bill. “Thank you.”

“Sorry I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend. I couldn’t have flirted with you if I knew,” the guy apologizes.

“He’s not-“ you start.

“Don’t worry about it, dude,” Schlatt says, grabbing the pizza and handing him the money. “Have a good night.” Schlatt closes the door. He goes to the kitchen to grab plates before coming back to the living room.

“What was that?” You ask him.

“What? I just finished what you were going to say. That guy also was probably a high schooler.”

You just decide to not push it any further, knowing that Schlatt is probably right. “What movie do you want to watch?” You ask.

“As long as it’s not a musical, I don’t care what we watch. I recommend Tokyo Drift, but you’re the guest,” Schlatt says, with a piece of pizza in his mouth.

“We can watch Tokyo Drift. It’s been awhile since you picked the movie.”

Schlatt smiles at you. “Thanks Bub.” He puts the movie on.

It doesn’t take long for you to pass out. Schlatt knew it was inevitable. You usually fall asleep during a film and with liquor and pizza on your belly, it’s no surprise when he hears your soft snores. Your head makes its way on Schlatt’s shoulders. He smiles at you and he feels his heart start to race. He wishes you weren’t so hard on yourself and saw how amazing you were.

After about twenty minutes, he realized that you were pretty much out. Instead of having you sleep on the couch, he gently picks you up, bridal style and carries you to the guest bedroom. He carefully lays you down and places the blanket over you. He watches in awe as jambo cuddles beside you. When he knows you’re definitely asleep, he kisses your forehead. “I love you. Sleep tight, Toots,” he says, cleaning up the living room before going to his bed. Schlatt wishes you were laying beside him. He would hold you tight and never let you ever think you were incapable of being loved. He falls asleep, happy with the fact that you are asleep in his house and not with someone who doesn’t deserve you.

A/N: yay!! New fic!! Thank you to 🍓 anon, and everyone else who suggested this req!! Hope you enjoy the first part. Sorry I’m posting this in the middle of the night! Let me know what you know!!

[faerievampling]

The Life of Astarion's Dark Consort

Summary: These are my random head canons about Ascended Astarion and his vampiric bride, Tav/Durge. What would it be like to actually spend eternity with him?

Warning: 18+, mention of sex.

After the ascension, Astarion is so overwhelmed with all his new abilities that he is a bit distant. (Think Lazslo Cravensworth in that one episode of WWDITS where he barely speaks for two weeks all because he’s trying to make a decision about how he is going to reorganize the library) This lasts for nearly a decade, but once Astarion adjusts to his new body, he is able to come back to himself.

Once you are Astarion’s spawn (bride), he no longer needs to mask when lovemaking. He knows you will never leave him. Your lovemaking goes through many 'phases', from being loving and tender to beastly and rough. But either way, he is raw with you, and only you.

Every night, without fail, your vampire curls up in your arms, holding you tightly as he drifts off into a dreamless sleep or reverie. He can’t fall asleep without being in your arms, or vice versa. 

You, his most prized treasure, are far too vulnerable during your rest, and he insists on being as close to you as possible, with a dagger close by, of course. Over the years, he never relents. If you two are ever apart, which happens so rarely, maybe once a millenia, he spends the night sleepless and aching for you.

One of the first things he does once the tadpole is gone is hunt down Haarlep, if you made a deal with him. He wouldn’t allow his treasure to be violated and used any longer.

Astarion’s possessive love for you only grows as the years creep on. 

Sometime during your third century of marriage, Astarion stabs the eyes out of (and allegedly kills) dozens of men and women who he deigned to have violated you (and thus, disrespected him) by looking at you lustfully. It takes two decades of you begging him to stop before he finally relents.

Ask me anything, and it will be yours. On his own time, of course, which you have so much of. You become a very patient vampire.

Astarion certainly values your life and his, but not others. You have to remind him, lest he lose his humanity completely. And you, as well, have to make sure you have a tight hold on your own humanity. You are a vampire, after all.

Watching your friends pass one by one is difficult, and Astarion supports you through it all, despite him not particularly caring about them himself. He cares about his consort, and he does everything to make you comfortable while you grieve. This is where your humanity starts to slip, when your friends are gone from your life for many years.

If you are able to reverie, you aren’t able to actually look through your memories because of your undeath. The years stretch on so long, you nearly forget how the story began at all. But you always have Astarion, and he does his best to help you both remember.

Astarion never takes another consort or another independent lover. The two of you enjoy threesomes and orgies occasionally, but Astarion prefers it to be just you and him. Astarion did particularly like to watch you get fucked by other men and women. But this changes sometime during your first century of marriage. Astarion demands to have his consort and only his consort in the bedroom. He ultimately doesn’t trust anyone else to be intimate with him. He doesn't want anyone else to touch him. You don’t protest the decision.

Astarion creates regular vampire spawn, more for utility than anything else.  He always asks your permission.

After a thousand years, you and your Lord are inseparable. You are not to leave his sight. 

He is very powerful, and has become a threat and a target. The two of you rarely speak aloud anymore as your mind connection is so strong that your minds are melded together. Your relationship is beyond spoken word. As Bride and Master, you are unsure where you begin and he ends. 

Eternity is a very long time. Astarion agrees, but he never wants to die, and he certainly will never let you go.

In your old vampiric age, the two of you strike fear into every mortal you come across. You can't help it. You are both so hauntingly beautiful and pale, and your intense mind connection makes most mortals believe you to be...absent. Oh, how the sheep forget themselves.

Yet your need for blood is so small now. They needn't fear you, not really. You now only drink from Astarion, which gives you what you need. He loves it, being your life essence. 

He doesn't let you drink too much, of course. During your fifth century of marriage, Astarion wants you to feed on him and only on him, as his contempt for others grows and his possessive love for you begins to cause him his own bout of madness.

This causes you to go mad, and Astarion is entirely distraught until you are healed. He spends an extravagant amount of money and a long time healing you.

With the last of your friends dead, you forget to view the mortals as anything but the puppets of your Master. The ways of the world as you knew it slip by you. There is a war, Astarion tells you, but you have no fear. You know he will protect you.

You often go into a vampiric hibernation as you sit on your throne during court. Astarion is still able to put on the mask, but you cannot. Astarion wishes you would try harder, but he also understands.

Even after so many years, Astarion’s body craves you. You are certain you are addicted to each other. You wonder if it is a result of your vampiric marriage. 

He pleasures you every night, and you pleasure him; you cannot remember what sex was like before your undeath, but you know that nothing feels as good as when Astarion makes you come. 

Halsin is the last of your old friends that you can remember, as he lives to be nearly a thousand. You do your best to remember his face, but it slowly starts to slip away from you. 

You feel sad about these things, at times. Astarion cradles you, both your body and your mind, and tries to assure you of your gift. Eternity.

Part 2!!

Masterlist

[notmorbid]

all-night pharmacy.

dialogue prompts from all-night pharmacy by ruth madievsky.

you're so alive, it's scary.

being a person doesn't come naturally for me.

what's the deal with this place?

you are my best and my worst friend.

are we horrible people?

i like the idea of having someone to come home to.

i can't tell if you're being cruel or if you're just dumb.

these aren't the decisions of a well-adjusted person.

the less you know about my life, the better.

everyone here is a liar and a cheat.

you deserve to have a life of your own.

a person can't be held responsible for what they don't know.

all relationships are transactional.

no one should have that much power over you.

it isn't too late to come back.

you're uninvited from my birthday party.

i love you, but you're such a cunt.

who do you think you are?

forced intimacy makes me lightheaded.

i know you're in there. let me in.

jesus. why do you have a knife?

what happened last night?

it was less embarrassing to pretend i didn't care.

maybe i'm not the mothering type.

i wish i could carry some of this pain for you.

i need a break from feeling so much all the time.

sometimes i can't tell if i'm asleep or awake.

whatever's going on, we'll figure it out.

i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm scared all the time.

this is the most i can imagine for myself.

if you're not asking yourself 'am i ruining my life?' at least once a day, you're not living at all.

you act like you're over it, but it's okay if you're not.

all my life, i've felt like a dead animal with its skin still on.

it's a virtue to rid yourself of anything that doesn't serve you.

i've never had a day of rest in my life.

i chase after you like a dog, leaving pieces of myself behind, and every time, you act like that's how it's supposed to be.

you don't take me seriously. i'm not a real person to you.

i can't play house anymore.

never say that name in front of me.

to you, other people are always the problem.

you can't reach a mutual understanding without spilling blood.

want to make fifty bucks?

the only way to really see a person is to lose everything you have in common.

you don't think we'll get caught?

our loyalty is to story, not reality.

just don't do anything that could result in a lawsuit or a tmz article, and you're fine.

i don't have the energy to keep up with your antics.

our most beloved delusion was that lying to each other was a kind of love.

speaking our fears aloud won't save us.

one day, the mask slipped. i haven't been able to wear it since.

i try not to think about my life at all.

a junkie can spot another junkie without a flashlight.

your voice reminds me of wool sweaters.

boundaries? i don't know her.

i'm just sick of doing the same goddamn thing every day.

you are obsessed with a projection that will never love you back.

think of me as a spiritually connected friend.

i know liars. you don't strike me as one.

you have iconically poor judgment.

has anyone ever told you about your past lives?

you're capable of tolerating a lot. frankly, more than you should.

friendship can be a slow burn. you don't have to consume it like a drink at last call.

i'll give you a clue. i work for myself.

you make me want to feel things again.

criticism is still a cousin of attention.

you don't have to pretend to like something just because i made it.

i know you crave being told what to do.

you don't have to settle for being a person things happen to.

you have desires. act on them.

bitch, does this look like an intro to philosophy seminar?

i thought i had quit you.

my favorite. how did you know?

i feel like my organs are cannibalizing each other.

how did i get here? that's not a rhetorical question. i'm actually asking.

i can't tell if i believe it, or if i'm making excuses for myself.

sometimes i wonder if it's healthy how much meaning you see in things.

you're always waiting for the universe to hurt you or to love you. usually in that order.

that's how it was in my family. reading the room was a survival skill.

where will all the animals go in the rapture?

a bunch of fuckups under one roof doesn't constitute a family.

my little saint.

time passes more slowly as a sober person.

you'd better not pull away from me now.

there's a russian proverb that goes, 'so much is ruined by saying it aloud'.

you wear your emotions like a name tag.

your resting face frightens me.

how are you both the most innocent and the most experienced person i've ever met?

i need you to just be here with me.

our dead deserve to see you happy.

i like the idea of being marked by you.

i don't know what i saw, but it was more than i wanted.

i know what i saw.

i can't tell which of the memories are real, if any.

i can't believe you're mine.

nobody warned me how terrifying it is to get what you want.

you're cute when you're freaked out.

sex is supposed to be unsettling.

there are things i need to atone for.

you can't go back like it's nothing.

i won't live in service of my dead's vision for me.

___ was a real person. a murder isn't a metaphor.

count five things you can see. four things you can touch. three things you can hear. two things you can smell. one thing you can taste.

banish one god, and you'll end up worshiping another.

i want to be with you, but i don't want to keep feeling like this.

you know everything about me, but you won't let me know you.

you aren't someone i can keep at a distance.

i've been reading about intergenerational curses.

resisting something isn't the same as not wanting it.

anything you say stays between us.

i can't decide if i like you.

most people only possess a third of the empathy they think they have.

will it get easier?

hope is a tricky thing: losing it is bad, but so is having too much.

i don't want the future to come. i have a bad feeling about it.

in cartoons, you don't start falling until you look down.

why are you here? where have you been?

how did you know i'd come looking for you?

you never asked what i was going through. you didn't want to know.

i didn't have the language for what was happening to me.

you were supposed to protect me.

there's a lot i don't remember. a lot i don't want to remember.

i wouldn't have looked for me, either.

we belong to ourselves now.

you know where i am, and i know where you are. maybe that's enough.

when i'm down, vigilante justice makes me feel better.

survival is provisional.

[dongslinger--420]

You were born to two people who never wanted to have you, who never should've had you. You grew up around alcohol, and your only role model was on television. People tried to make friends with you, but you just pushed them away. You made your first friend at 21. You love your friend more than anything, but you cannot escape the fact that he was indirectly responsible for your downfall. You try so hard to go back to the era where you thought you were happy that you end up making two of the biggest mistakes of your life. You surround yourself with people who remind you either of him, of yourself, or both. Your lack of true, authentic experience means that you believe yourself to be both unworthy and incapable of love. You have 4 best friends and you take them all for granted until it's too late. Millions love you, and you feel so alone.

You were born into a family of 7. Everyone in that family hates you. You were bullied in school, and your only role model was on television. You survive your 20s on sheer unbridled optimism and a barista's salary. You meet two people who are just like you, who are passionate and cynical and bright minded. One day, you fall in love with an older man who is nothing like you, but he's kind and extraverted, and it's something you have no frame of reference for. You meet your idol. He's not who you thought he'd be. He's the furthest from it that you could possibly imagine. But you love him. Because he's you. He reminds you of the girl you were growing up. Sometimes he's compassionate towards you. Sometimes your now husband is compassionate towards you. You don't know how to respond in either situation. You try to look for reasons to push them away. Your closest friends love you, and you feel so alone.

You were born the youngest of 12. Your mother loves you, but she needs you a little too much. You grow up obsessed with a film about a girl who flies away, a girl who (for better or for worse) comes of age. So then you decide to fly away. You get a job as a strongly independent intern. But then you meet a man. He's deeply flawed, and the way you take care of him reminds you too much of the girl you were growing up. But you see so much good in him, and you spend your time telling yourself that the good outweighs the bad. He has single handedly got you out of the worst situations you have ever found yourself in. And for all your independence, you crave companionship, in any form. The love that anyone feels for you is forever fleeting. You feel so alone.

You were born into a loving family. You meet a beautiful wife in your 20s, and get the best job ever solely by accident. There is no reality other than this. And why would anyone want one? This is perfect. You try so hard to go back to that first era where you were happy, by surrounding yourself with people who agree with you. Your first wife starts to disagree. You don't understand her decision to go into politics, because there is no reality other than this, and why would anyone want one? You break up with her. You have to keep the illusion going, fill that space asap. Your second wife disagrees with you. You meet your third wife on the day your second wife leaves you. Your third wife cares more about the world outside the bubble you've cultivated than your first wife did. But status quo is god. It worked in your dream job, and it's going to work now. Your third wife leaves you. You feel so alone.

You were born of a man you don't even remember. You were forcibly given the name of the man your mother married. He's extremely hard on you and you don't understand why. You love music and games and new experiences, and he loves anger and being boring and getting a job. You get kicked out at 18. You find someone new, and you feel almost as reliant on them. You don't know when your new situation will end, but it's easy. This is what you wanted, right? But all your new friends have proper lives. They have some sense of knowledge for what they were doing. And maybe your stepfather was right. Maybe BoJack was right. Maybe you need to get your act together before you amount to anything. Because for all your independence, you still crave approval and acknowledgement, in any form. You have no idea if anyone loves you, and you feel so alone.

[disillusioneddanny]

Dis Fic List: Dead on Main aka Danny Fenton/Jason Todd

Thought it might be a fun challenge to make some rec lists for my fics! This one is of all of my Jason/Danny fics.

Let me know if there are any lists you'd like to see from my works!

Collapse Into My Arms (And I'll Take Care of Your Heart)

Jason Todd is about to go into heat. Thankfully he has his amazing Beta boyfriend who makes Jason feel safer than anyone has ever made him feel before.

Info:

Oneshot

Words: 1,170

Lightning in a Bottle

Jason gets his neck sliced by Bruce’s batarang. It irreversibly damaged his vocal cords. Pros: He can still use ghost speak Cons: None of his family knows ghost speak (as it’s sounds aren’t for living men to understand) Thankfully Jason meets Danny Fenton who not only understands ghost speak but can teach him how to live again after his accident.

Chapters: 21/21 --completed

Words: 46,202

Fallin' Into Your Ocean Eyes

After a fight with his father, Jason finds himself getting comfort from his merperson boyfriend, Danny.

Oneshot

Words: 2,874

You Put Your Arms Around Me (And I'm Home)

Jason Todd can't get over the fact that he has the life he does. Bruce Wayne reminds him that he's deserving of a good life.

oneshot

Words: 2,912

People Watching

Jason has been people watching for as long as he can remember, always wondering when it would be his turn to fall in love. And then he meets Danny and realizes maybe it's his turn.

Oneshot

Words: 1,518

Wait For It

When sixteen year old Danny goes to check out the Lazarus Waters in a different universe he doesn't know what he's expecting. Somehow getting a new halfa boyfriend and a baby brother was what were in the books for the young Ghost Prince. Everything seems to be going well, though, until first Jason decides to leave the League of Assassins and Danny to get revenge for his death, and then Damian decides that now that he is about to get to meet his real father, he will no longer need Danny. Years later, though, both Damian and Jason realize that they lost more than expected when leaving Danny behind all those years before. Especially after watching the powerful ghost king defeat an enemy within seconds. Now both must figure out how to fix their broken relationships with the ghost who helped them when they needed it most and never asked for more.

Chapters: 17/17

Words: 33,891

A Lover's Lament

After being cursed by Plasmius, Danny's soulmate is forced to become reincarnated and forget everything he ever knew about his soul mate each cycle. Danny is forced to find his love and bring back the memories of their time together each life cycle until he can break the curse one day. Jason Todd was born to parents who did not really care about him. Lucky for him, his soulmate refuses to let him die before his time is up and is more than prepared to take care of him to the best of his ability.

Chapters: 23/23

Words: 40,310

Learn How to Fly

Jason wakes up in the Zone confused. Why the fuck does he have wings? And who is this weird Prince Phantom?

Oneshot

Words: 2,252

The Devil Wore a T-Shirt

After a one-night stand, Danny finds himself pregnant with Red Hood's kid. Now he finds himself as a dad to a small child with an important decision to make. Does he tell Red Hood he has a child? Or does Danny raise the kid by himself?

Chapters: 11/11

Words: 24,778

[1d1195]

My Friend's Toyota I

🎶 here she is! Based on the song of the same name, by Asiris 💕 I wanted to write this before spring arrived. It's just a few parts (I'm thinking 4 right now) only because the first part got so long 🤭

~8k words

Warnings: college!Harry but otherwise none really. Just wanted to write a cute romantic story. Maybe the tiniest bit of angst (but maybe not in this part just yet). This part is a little ramble-y but I promise it'll come together quick.

But this... angel he had bumped into...

She was going to star in all his fantasies now.

Can’t believe September’s already over / Looked for stars and I found a supernova / praying to God that I can hold her close / ‘Cause I know she’s worried ‘bout the snow / She said “Darling, should I bring a coat?”

Harry thought he was more excited to go to university than anyone had ever been. “For drinking right?” his friends from school asked with a laugh. They chatted about it all the time during the summer before they all left their hometown in favor of the new chapter of their lives. Harry liked drinking, sure. It was fun but he enjoyed hanging out with his friends more. At least when they were in university they wouldn’t be drinking illegally anymore.

But Harry was a bit of a hopeless romantic.

He believed university was the surefire way to meet the love of his life. The person who would knock him off his feet, make his heart grow three sizes too big for his chest, and simply just... feel like he was right where he was supposed to be.

The first semester of university came and went.

Harry didn’t meet the love of his life.

He had Mitch. His roommate and one of his best friends from home. But Mitch was in love with their friend Sarah and unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same way about Mitch as Sarah felt about him. But that was okay. He still had lots of time to find the person that would make his stomach flutter.

But spring semester came and went too.

Harry tried to find her. He went on dates with several women he met in classes and at parties. He heard the whispers and rumors about him. It made him a little sad that some of the women he went out with never corrected the rumors. His longest relationships were no more than a month, but Harry couldn’t help it that he didn’t feel the spark he was looking for and ended things before they really got going.

It was supposed to be all-encompassing. Make him breathless. Knock him to his knees. Maybe he was being ridiculous. At the age of almost twenty he was being unrealistic to want something like that. He was young. There was plenty of time for love.

But was it so bad that he wanted it now?

His dorm room with Mitch was a suite and they each had their own rooms. They decorated the main room with the help of Sarah to make it homey (and also stopped them before they used empty vodka bottles as décor). Their dorm was one of the “party” dorms, but they rarely hosted. Harry and Mitch wanted their place to be a safe place. It rarely saw more than ten people—and that was only when he and Mitch were pre-gaming with other friends to go to a party off campus. Sometimes Harry brought his friends back if they had too much to drink. It made him feel better knowing they were in a safe place. Sarah even brought back a girl that was too drunk to make any good decisions of her own accord. Harry minded over her with worry because the poor thing was all but sobbing as she threw up most of the night and whined about how sad she was.

Harry actually dated her for about a month after—some kind of savior complex that he should have known doomed their relationship from the start.

So, he kept waiting to find the love of his life. But he couldn’t help but feel discouraged as he complained to his mum and Gemma over the summer that he didn’t find her that first year.

“Honey bunny, it’s too early to think like that,” Anne smirked. “You’re so young.”

He shrugged. “I guess. M’jus’... Mitch has Sarah,” he reminded them.

“I know, but...” Gemma smiled sadly at him. “You’re not Mitch. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.”

Well Harry didn’t meet her the following year either. Twenty came and went. He continued hearing rumors about his body count. The only ones ready to defend him ever was Mitch and Sarah but he simply didn’t care. The girls he met at parties, bars, in class, they all continued to flirt with him and when Harry felt the hope of a spark, he chose to pursue it—not because of the rumors, not because he felt like he had to in order to find the love of his life, simply because he was young and enjoying his life.

But September of his third year.

Oh.

*

Harry was appalled that as a third-year student, any of his major professors deigned to have an eight-AM class. It felt like death as he walked with the throng of people headed to the correct buildings when the sun was barely high in the sky. His eyes felt droopy, and he was certain he yawned the entire walk from dorm room to classroom.

His backpack was slung over his shoulders. He shouldn’t have gone out last night. He wasn’t hungover, but he was just so tired. The chance of meeting the love of his life could have been at that party. That wasn’t an opportunity he was willing to miss.

“I told you,” Mitch muttered to him liking eight-AMs more than the average college student. Get it out of the way. He stuck his foot out causing Mitch to stumble a bit and he smirked with a low chuckle. “Idiot,” Mitch grumbled.

Harry didn’t know what he wanted to do with his degree yet. Another component of divine intervention he was hoping would appear in front of him. Love and career. He hoped the universe would help him figure both out sooner rather than later.

Mitch veered off to his own building and Harry counted down the minutes until he could trek back to his dorm room. Harry was yawning—again—and shook his head trying to perk himself up as he made it to the building where his classroom resided on his schedule.

Harry chose a seat in the back of the room. Put his head on the desk and tried not to think about how his bed might be his real soulmate.

*

Harry was much more awake now that his professor had re-sparked his interest in microeconomics. All his classes were econ-based this year and he was honestly super excited to look at different facets of his major and maybe that was divine intervention. He had four required economic electives: sports, law, history, and statistics. Additionally, he would be taking a math class that was a pre-requisite to the class he needed for next semester. He tried not to think about it too much.

With a pep in his step, he no longer felt like going back to his dorm and sleeping as he told Mitch he would be doing instead of joining him for breakfast. He wanted to go to his next class or the bookstore. He wanted to geek out over the intro lecture he just heard to someone that would care and wouldn’t brush off his nerdiness. What he really wanted was someone to kiss at the end of the day and tell him all about their classes and ask what he wanted to do for dinner—whether it was dining hall food or a date in town.

“Hi Harry,” someone called as he fantasized about his little dream life. He didn’t even see who it was, so he turned to catch a glimpse.

“Hi—” he started to call politely. If it was someone he knew, he didn’t want to be rude. As he turned, he must have shifted into the path of someone else’s walk to class. He bumped into someone with about half of his body. He knocked her phone out of her hand. Also made her stumble off the sidewalk a bit. “Oh, sorry, love,” he said bending for her phone before she could. The water bottle she had tucked in her bag also fell to the ground. “Are you alright?” He was hopeful he didn’t hurt her, but who knows, she could have tweaked her ankle on the edge of the walk and Harry would have felt horrendous for the whole rest of the day.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” her voice was a bit rushed. “I just transferred here this semester, and I’m all turned around and I’m going to be late—”

Harry glanced up at her having gathered her belongings from the dewy grass and finally caught her gaze. She stopped speaking when Harry looked at her. He swore his heart stopped. They were off the sidewalk, now. People were walking quickly to and from their classes. Harry could feel the gaze of people who knew him as he walked by. Trying to figure out who the girl was he was talking to.

Harry knew he hadn’t found the love of his life yet due to lack of connection. They liked Harry well enough, and he honestly was fortunate to have had a few girlfriends who were kind, intelligent, and pretty. Those he had dated the past two years simply didn’t scratch that itch for the fantasy he had: asking about his day, telling him about hers, and what did they want to do for dinner.

But this... angel he had bumped into...

She was going to star in all his fantasies now.

They hadn’t spoken in thirty seconds while Harry dreamed of happily ever after with her. Finally, he cleared his throat. “Where are y’headed?” He asked quietly.

She shook her head rapidly and pulled her phone from his hands. Harry tried to memorize everything about this moment. The concentrated expression on her face while she scanned her phone screen. “Umm... Livingston 210,” she sighed. “Am I going the complete wrong way?” She asked nervously. “God this is so embarrassing. I spent all day yesterday walking around trying to map out my paths and I had to park in a different lot, and I am the worst with maps and directions,” she rambled.

“No, no,” Harry shook his head. “S’this way. Let me walk you,” he offered. “You’re fine,” he promised glancing at his own watch. “You’ll... you’ll be early,” he reassured her.

She blew out a relieved breath. “Really? Don’t you have a class to get to?” She asked. “I don’t want to put you out—”

He shook his head quickly. “No, not... not at all, love,” he murmured. “M’happy t’do it. Got a break before m’next class.”

Her face took on this gorgeous smile that Harry wasn’t sure he would ever be able to forget. The relief was palpable. It seemed almost excessive, like he was a doctor and told her that she wasn’t ill and not that her class was only about a three-minute walk. But Harry adored that smile. The way her eyes lit up along with the curve of her lips. “Thank you, so so much. I’m so nervous and know absolutely no one—except my roommate. But she doesn’t have class until noon. Plus, my transfer credits went in late last week so the schedule I had planned is all different than the one I made in June. I really almost considered just leaving and transferring back—”

He chuckled at her little ramble. He liked it a lot. Way more than he probably should have for having met her only ninety seconds prior. He wondered if she always did that. The need to find out was nearly unbearable. How could he prolong the conversation? How could he get her number in the next two minutes it took her to walk to her class? “C’mon,” he tilted his head toward the direction he had come from.

Was he being ridiculous? Maybe.

But this was what he wanted. The way his heart stopped. He couldn’t ignore that. Was he holding his breath? Was she feeling the same warm tension that was covering his entire body with the need to look at her? This was it. She hadto be it. The love of his life. The first day of third year. His heart felt... whole.

“Oh good, this is familiar,” she sighed with relief. Chuckling, Harry held the building door open for her to pass through. “Do you like candy?” She asked as she entered.

Blinking curiously, Harry wondered if she had some conversation in her head that he wasn’t privy to that resulted in such a question. “M’sorry?”

“Candy?”

“Uh, yeah. Of course,” he smiled at her curiously.

“Okay, I’ll get you candy as a thank you for walking me, then,” she promised with an assured nod of her head.

Harry was floored by her kindness to a stranger. It made him feel so overwhelmed that he ignored how ridiculous it all seemed for him to act like this. So that meant she wanted to see him again. He chuckled. “Y’don’t have t’do that, love. S’not out of m’way,” he reminded her.

“I know... but you don’t know me, and you look important.”

“Look important?” He repeated dumbly and gestured to the stairwell for her to ascend. He followed beside her hoping he didn’t look as creepy as he felt feeling so overwhelmed with how he already felt about her.

“I don’t know, everyone was staring at you while we walked over,” she shrugged.

He smirked. But he was surprised he missed that. Usually, he noticed when people called out to him.  “Everyone?”

She nodded. “I think a few people even did a double take,” she explained. “So, you must be important.”

He rolled his eyes with another little laugh from his lips. “Uh...I don’t think m’important,” he admitted. They stood a few feet away from the door labeled 210. “S’really no trouble. I jus’ left m’eight AM from here,” he promised. “Was jus’ going t’get breakfast. M’happy t’help.”

“Well, thank you. I really appreciate it. I promise I’ll get you candy,” she said glancing at her watch and then the classroom door. “I like to get a good seat for the lecture. I’ll... see you around...?” She waited for him to fill in the missing information.

“Harry,” he said wiping his hand on his leg before holding it out for her to take. The first time he would touch who he was certain was the love of his life.

“Harry,” she repeated, placing her hand in his while introducing herself as well. “I’ll see you around.”

His heart was aching with something that had to be a cross between infatuation and undeniable love. Her hand felt so nice in his and it was just a handshake. Imagining their fingers twined together made him ache with want. “Wait,” he said right as her hand touched the doorknob. “Where’s y’next class?” He asked. She pulled her phone from her pocket and opened her schedule. “Uh... Sawyer,” she said reading off her phone. Harry’s heart leapt. “312.”

He felt tingles all through his body. From fingertip to his stomach, to the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. “Yeah?” He asked rhetorically. The question was more for the universe; it’s way of telling Harry she was here. “I’ll walk you,” he promised. “We’re in the same class.”

She turned her face briefly from him—maybe an effort to hide the blush that was covering her cheeks and making Harry fall even harder for her. “Yeah?” She wondered.

He nodded. “I’ll meet y’at the front of the building when class gets out, yeah?”

She smiled. “Okay, thanks, Harry,” she sighed with relief heading through the doorway. “Enjoy your break,” she called over her shoulder.

Harry floated back down the steps. Honestly, he wanted to wait outside her classroom, but he just met her, and he wanted—no needed—this to work. Wanted it to work more than anything. The smile plastered on his face had his cheeks hurting but he couldn’t stop. He nearly sprinted to the closest dining hall where he told Mitch he would meet him for breakfast.

“Sorry, m’late. I jus’ met the woman m’going t’marry,” his voice was all airy, falling into a seat beside Mitch with a dreamy look on his face.

“Whoa,” Mitch chuckled. “You look sick.”

“I feel sick,” he laid down onto a second chair. Backpack still on. He looked like an idiot, but he couldn’t help it. He was in love.

“Glad you met her, Harry. Finally, right? Can you act like an adult?” Mitch muttered cutting up the waffle he had on his plate. Sitting up he smiled at his friend.

“We have class together next.”

“Isn’t that your math class?” He wondered. He thought about the schedule Harry was insistent about putting on the fridge so they could find each other if needed while at home. For emergencies. But Mitch didn’t understand why the schedule needed to be on the fridge if Harry made him commit it to memory anyway.

“Yeah, so?”

“You hate math.”

“No one likes math,” he grumbled.

“Maybe she does. Maybe she’s not your soulmate.”

“Shut up,” he dropped his bag in his seat and headed to get food. Upon returning with his tray, about three other people said hello to him. One girl stopped him asking if he was coming to her party this weekend and one of the guys that he knew from his pickup soccer games asked if he was available tomorrow night for a game at the rec field. “If she likes math then... jus’ mean she completes me. Still m’soulmate,” he shrugged.

“You got an answer for everything,” Mitch laughed.

*

Harry found her sitting on the barrier wall to the mini garden outside the building. One of her legs stretched along the length of the cement ledge and the other dangled off the side. With the need to get her to class on time, Harry didn’t have time to ogle her at all. But now, as he approached her, he noted she was wearing a pair of jeans and a pair of trainers. Obviously, her worry about being late to class must have meant she considered sprinting if it got late enough. Her T-shirt was this light orange-pink color. Like she was modeling a sunset. She had a book propped on her thigh and she leaned over reading, like she was simultaneously doing yoga while reading.

“Hey,” he called. Her head perked up and she smiled, putting a bookmark in between the pages and swinging her leg over to say hi.

“Hi!” She chirped excitedly. “I was afraid I missed you when I ran back inside.”

Back inside? He frowned. “Did y’class end early?”

“Yeah... almost a half hour ago,” she shrugged hopping off the ledge. “Syllabus and all. Doesn’t happen that often to me—I’m majoring in accounting and finance, so all my classes just jump right into the lectures and lessons. But this is a sociology class that my other school didn’t offer but I have to take here to graduate,” she explained with an eyeroll. “They were insistent.”

“M’sorry y’had to wait,” he frowned.

“Don’t be sorry,” she smiled. “I got to read a bit and—oh!” She twisted her backpack around her body and into the zip pocket. She retrieved whatever item she was looking for and held it out for him to take. “For walking me,” her voice was so sweet.

Harry felt his jaw fall open just a bit as she placed the Twix bar in his hand. “Twix is my favorite, but I got Starbursts too if that’s more your vibe. Reese’s if you like peanut butter. I wanted a variety just in case and it won’t go to waste regardless—”

“Twix is m’favorite, too,” he said turning the bar over in his hands. He looked up at her as if she really was placed right in his path. Fate. Out of nowhere. Like a star exploding out in the universe and dropping this angel in its spot.

She smiled. “Excellent,” she said. “Where’s Sawyer, then?” She asked while zipping her bag again and heading toward the walkway when he walked her to the building earlier. “I want a good seat,” she reminded him. Since she got him his favorite candy bar—and simply because she existed and was without a doubt going to be his favorite, period—he wanted to make sure she got the seat she wanted.

He wanted to make sure she got whatever she wanted.

*

Was it normal to want to hold someone’s hand like this? Harry’s immediate thought was no. It wasn’t normal. Wanting to hold hands with someone the way he was craving to hold her hand had to be the most abnormal thing in existence. Every Tuesday and Thursday for the next three weeks, he waited outside Livingston, watching her descend the front staircase to the main floor. They chatted the entire ten-minute walk to Sawyer where they shared a math class. She insisted on sitting closer to the front than Harry would ever consider but he was immediately enamored with how sweet she was and there was no way he could let someone else sit beside her.

Tuesdays and Thursdays were slowly becoming his favorite days of the week. They were his weekend even with a packed schedule on the two days. Talking to her was everything he had been longing for the last two years of school.

On Sunday, he slept until almost ten-thirty. He was lying in bed while scrolling through his array of social media and other correspondences. He heard the shower running, so either Sarah or Mitch must have been well after a night of drinking.

Three weeks. After three weeks of pining and walking her to and from class, he got an email on a Sunday.

The subject line read: Be-Twix you and me I’m glad we’re friends. He threw himself out of his bed and paced the main room trying to figure out if it was Mitch or Sarah in the shower. He knocked. “Sarah!”

“Sorry, Harry. She’s sleeping,” Mitch called.

He opened the door anyway. “She emailed me.”

“How 2002 of her,” he snorted.

“You’re useless,” Harry grumbled closing the door shut. He truly considered barging into Mitch’s room and waking Sarah for a girl’s opinion but after doing the very same and seeing way more than he was supposed to of his two friends, he opted for figuring it out himself. He vaguely wondered if there was a way to open an email faster. He must have read it a thousand times and it was only four sentences long.

Hi Harry!

I was wondering if you would want to study for our exam together? I like having someone to study with, but if that’s not your vibe I understand :) Let me know either way! This is my number if you would prefer texting.

Harry thought there were no prettier ten numbers than the ones that formed her phone number. He was immediately ready to text her but luckily had the wherewithal of checking the time stamp of the email to see if he was looking desperate but struggling to care. Fortunately, the email was from a little after seven-thirty.

He could have chatted with her for three hours longer if he hadn’t slept so late.

Hi, it’s Harry 😊

Hi! Glad my email didn’t scare you off. My roommate said that my Twix pun was horrendous.

It’s adorable. Thank you for emailing. I’d love to study. I work until five... I can meet you somewhere?

Do you like coffee?

I love coffee 😊

Do you think it will be cold around five? I’m still getting used to the weather around here. I want to bring a coat.

Harry made a mental note to pack an extra sweatshirt in case she got too cold. Can’t hurt to bring one. You never know what the weather will do around here.

*

Forty minutes a week.

Forty blissful, perfect minutes in the month of September had been spent chatting with the stranger that bumped into her on the first day of the fall semester. The sun was warm despite the breeze chilling her skin. It wasn’t nearly enough time but she somehow managed to fall incredibly hard for him anyway.

It was a bit ridiculous.

Her roommate—and only friend—was also a transfer student. However, Allie was much more outgoing than she was. That wasn’t to say she didn’t have fun; it was just different than how Allie enjoyed herself. Allie made friends everywhere she went. Their off-campus but university-owned apartment was always in flux of visitors from her classes, her club tennis team, or just someone she met while eating lunch in the dining hall between classes.

Allie was a good judge of character though, so she never worried about someone of bad rapport traipsing through their place. Also, Allie was always sure to keep everyone away from her room, of course.

But Allie had no problem flopping on her bed around ten in the morning and nosily glancing over her shoulder. She had left her email open anxiously waiting for a reply from the most handsome guy she had ever had the pleasure of meeting. “Be-Twix?! Sweetie, that’s atrocious,” she rolled her eyes. She groaned in response.

“I... I don’t know,” her face felt hot with shame. She really liked Harry. “It seemed like a good idea at the time... maybe that’s why he’s not answering me,” she frowned.

“Maybe he just sleeps like a normal college student and doesn’t wake up at the ass-crack of dawn,” she said knowingly patting her knee reassuringly.

“Have you seen the leaves?” She whispered almost in awe. “I went for a walk to get a bagel and—”

“I’ve seen them,” Allie smiled with a shake of her head at her silly friend. The adoration she had for little things was admirable, sweet, and just... if Harry Styles broke her heart, she would break his face. “I lived here my whole life, remember?”

But she didn’t live here her whole life. So, she was in awe—her first true fall since she was a toddler that she didn’t even remember. There were pictures of her jumping into a pile of leaves with her mom that her dad had just painstakingly raked. The south didn’t have pretty leaves like this in the fall. Palm leaves didn’t change color other than wilting brown when it was too hot. She intended to spend every minute looking at the beautiful hues of orange, red, and yellow so as not to miss the pretty season she hadn’t gotten to enjoy for most of her life.

After another agonizing thirty minutes of waiting for him to respond (and breathing with sweet relief that he did want to see her later) she told Harry that she was worried about it being cold later in the evening. She had grown up closer to the Tropic of Cancer which was now roughly 15 degrees south of her current latitude. She hated the heat; it made her skin feel dirty and oily with sweat all summer long. Her hair was too thick, her skin naturally too warm. Just thinking about her thighs sticking to her leather car seat in July was horrific.

But her parents had grown up and met here on this pretty autumn-picturesque campus. Somewhere not quite freezing (at least not yet, so she had been told) but not quite suffocating with heat like home. They left here when she was two to situate themselves in Hell’s sauna room. After taking the general requirement classes at a state school, she wanted to transfer up north to the university where her parents fell in love. Call her a hopeless romantic, but if she hadn’t found the love of her life amongst the bathing suit, half-clad guys on the beach during the last two spring breaks, then he probably wasn’t in the south. Instead, she hoped she might find him around the ski slopes.

She hadn’t anticipated finding Harry before her first class started.

Forty minutes.

That was how much time Harry generously gave her outside their shared class combined on Tuesday and Thursday each week.

She wanted more. Greedy with want and didn’t know how to do it without tying it to school. Part of her worried because what if he just pitied her and now didn’t know how to get away from her? They had class together; he couldn’t be rude. Even if he didn’t like her the way she was already falling for him, it was very obvious that Harry was a good person.

“Just be careful,” Allie warned lightly. “Harry has a bit of a reputation I hear.”

She frowned and shrugged. She knew what Allie meant. People around her weren’t exactly subtle and while she listened to music in the dining hall while she ate, or studied in the library, or even just read her book. Those around her whispered. They had seen the pair of them walking to class. Apparently, Harry never looked like that before. The whispers included Harry having plenty of girlfriends. Sometimes two or even three at a time. That just seemed ridiculous, and she felt so sad others talked about him behind his back. There were even quiet bets about how long she would last in the list of Styles’ conquests.

So, she understood that Allie was just trying to look out for her. “Well... I like him. He doesn’t have a reputation around me,” she shrugged. Allie frowned for a moment. She was so sweet.

“Just be careful with your heart,” Allie looked at her with a bit of worry in her eye. But her smile was encouraging. “It’s too good for university guys.”

She had only known Allie about three months longer than she had known Harry. They both moved in at the start of the summer, working off campus and getting to know one another as well as the area (not that it helped her directionally illiterate mind). Allie was lovely and all the things she wanted in a college-best-friend that she never really got from commuting to the local college when she lived down south. “I think you would like him.”

“I can like him and still want someone better for you,” she shrugged leaning in the doorway. She didn’t want to taint the image of perfect Harry. But the stories she heard weren’t easy to ignore. She had seen him at parties since her best friend met him on her way to her sociology class. It was hard to miss him. It was like he was the star of every party.

He drank with his friends and girls obsessed over him. To her friend’s nearly naïve point of view, however, Allie hadn’t seen Harry flirt back. He was helpful and kind to those that drank too much; guiding them outside and gently pulling a girl’s hair back for when she threw up in the shrubs. It was endearing in a lot of ways. But she would still kill him if the rumors of a string of girls was true. If her new best friend was just another notch in his belt, Harry was dead. “You are so sweet to believe in the good in everyone. I just don’t want you to be heartbroken if he isn’t as lovely as you think.”

She smirked looking at the emojis and rapid influx of messages Harry was sending her trying to coordinate timing and picking her up, so she didn’t have to walk. “I won’t,” she promised. But she didn’t say that she thought he was better.

*

Harry was fifteen minutes late. He blamed the table he was waiting on before he left. They were overbearing and wanted their meal comped—that much was obvious. Looking for the smallest hiccups to rebuke him. Harry begged his manager to seat them in another section. Having waited on them before, but no dice. His heart was in his throat wishing he had time to go home and change but he couldn’t. If he was a moment later, he was sure he was ruining everything.

Unaware of Harry’s worry, she waited patiently on the bench outside the apartment building the university had taken as more dorm suites. She continued reading her book trying not to think about how maybe Harry had better things to do than study for a math class on a Sunday. Especially after work. But he had texted her he was running late, and he was on his way.

She was glad she decided on a coat, it wasn’t freezing, but her thick skin ill-suited for hot weather was already thawing and feeling the chill of the early October weather. She spent an embarrassingly long time sorting through her athleisure wear trying to decide. Something suitable for studying at a coffee shop that wasn’t overstated but not quite sweatpants.

Right when she thought about calling Harry, he appeared in front of the bench. Parking and getting out of his car quickly and hurrying to the passenger side. “I am so sorry,” he said hurriedly dragging a hand through his curls. She admired the motion; enjoying how mussing them didn’t matter much and they fell right back into place. She cleared her throat and shook herself out of her own staring at him.

“For what?”

“M’so late, love. S’rude. M’sorry,” he repeated.

“Oh...it’s...it’s really okay. I was already out here—”

“S’cold,” he frowned eyeing her sweatshirt and the coat at her side.

“I’m okay!” She promised. “Is everything alright?” She asked and stepped toward him putting her hand on his forearm. He thought he might explode at the feeling of her skin on his. It was more intimate than their handshake, and she got the feeling she wanted to twine their fingers together again.

Harry seemed to breathe with a sigh of relief, and he looked at her with this stunned expression. She couldn’t figure out why. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Jus’ felt bad being late.”

“Oh,” she blinked. “That’s okay. I wasn’t in a rush or anything—”

“No, love,” he shook his head. “M’sorry because I wanted t’see you so bad,” he sighed. He ran his hand through his hair again making her heart take off at a speed that had to be unsafe for her health. Almost immediately she felt light-headed. He wanted to see her. He just told her that. There was no hiding it. She could feel that emotion thick in his voice.

“Oh,” she repeated, completely stunned and confused. “Really?” She asked in complete shock.

“Yes, very, very much,” he sighed dreamily.

Her cheeks warmed hotly under his gaze. The pair of them stood there. Staring at one another as if they were statues destined to look at one another for all eternity, frozen in time to capture a moment like theirs. The October air was rapidly cooling, but she couldn’t feel anything but heat. Like she had stepped out of the airport terminal back in the south except this heat was not suffocating. It was so welcoming.

For a few moments they just stood there, her hand touching his forearm, gazing at one another. Part of her thought it would be nice to be a statue on the street. At least if Harry was beside her. Eventually, he shook his head ever so slightly and smirked. “So...coffee?”

She cleared her throat, smiling brightly. “Please.”

*

Just one week later, she was chatting with a friend from her sociology class. The moment he saw Harry, he knew Harry was there waiting for her, just as he had been since they met a month earlier. Harry recognized him from attending many parties that his frat hosted at one of the houses someone had off campus. His eyes seemed a bit surprised to see Harry waiting at the bottom of the steps, doing a double take at him waiting for the girl he was walking with down the steps.

“Hey Harry,” the guy said quietly.

“Hi!” She chirped gleefully. Her excited smile felt like too much on her face, but she had no way of knowing. She also didn’t notice the turmoil the guy felt seeing the competition between himself and Harry. (If she did know, she would flat out tell him there was no competition—other than school, Allie, and work, her mind was all about Harry.)

“Hi,” he said politely with a smile and turned toward the person he actually cared about talking to. “Y’ready for math, love?” He asked gently.

“Always,” she started for the main door. “See you around!” she called sweetly over her shoulder.

*

On Saturday, Allie asked if she wanted to go to a party with her. She was more than happy to stay in and read her book. But she teased her. “Harry might be there,” she winked knowingly.

As much as she didn’t pay any attention to the rumors about Harry, it was hard to fully ignore them the way she wanted to. It wasn’t that she distrusted Harry. No, if anything, she believed in him more than anyone else. But it did sound like Harry had a different party persona. She was not a party person. Honestly, she wanted him to have fun they way he wanted to. Going to a party just because he was there...

“That’s alright, I think—”

“Oh, come on!” She smiled sweetly. “I’ll help you get all dolled up and we’ll just have a couple drinks, and we can leave if you hate it. But if Harry is as smitten as you say he is, I bet he won’t let you leave,” she giggled.

Her face warmed at her friend’s assumption and she tried to picture a scenario in which someone as attractive as Harry would worry about little ole her like that. “Isn’t it cold out?”

“So wear another sweater!” Allie rolled her eyes.

“That’s not very college party of me.”

“Well, I would suggest an alcohol blanket, but I feel like getting you drunk before you even see Harry would be bad.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’ll make me look pretty?” She asked quietly at her friend in the doorway.

“Prettier,” Allie nodded assuredly.

“Alright,” she sighed. “Let’s go to a party.”

*

Allie’s arm was looped through hers. It was freezing out. But honestly it felt nice. She was just a bit shivery. “I thought you said I could wear another sweater.”

“Sweetie, hiding your assets at a party would be criminal.”

She rolled her eyes with a smirk. They entered the door, dodging the guy standing at the door to keep people in and out very quickly. “Hey Allie,” he said.

She waved in response and headed right inside. She thought maybe it was a good thing Allie told her to skip the sweater. The heat inside the house was nearly as warm and humid as the airport terminal. The air was thick with the sour smell of alcohol, weed, and sweat. “I don’t know how people want to hook up with anybody around here. I can’t think of very many places that are less of an aphrodisiac.”

Allie smirked and pushed the pair of them through a throng of bodies toward the kitchen. She grabbed two red cups from the sleeve of them off the counter and asked the makeshift bartender—surely some poor freshmen pledge—to pour them drinks. Her gut felt a little off about the gesture. “I don’t know, Al,” she whispered softly.

“I’ve had them here before,” Allie promised reassuringly. She still wasn’t thrilled with the idea as she took the cup from her friend.

“Hey Allie!” Someone called. Allie turned, looking over her shoulder as she called back over the pounding music. Meanwhile she looked at the liquid sloshing along with the ice. She thought maybe she should have taken her chances with the jungle juice—no one would be stupid enough to touch that, even if it would end with her throwing it all back up at the end of the night.

The pair of them circled around the house, briefly stopping to watch the end of a rousing game of beer pong. The winning person slammed his beer back, dripping along the sides of his mouth triumphantly which made her smile. Allie rolled her eyes and tugged her out back. A bon fire was in the middle of the yard. Another sober freshman pledge, undoubtedly in charge of standing guard. The music was still loud but way less aggressive outside. There were other large groups of people outside as well chattering and drinking away. Allie worked quick; left her alone by the fire—which she was grateful for since it was warm. When Allie returned, she was already sipping her second drink, holding a third, and dropping her empty cup in the trash bin right near the house. Oof, her head was going to kill tomorrow.

“Harry’s here,” Allie whispered to her as she got close to her again. There was a twinge in her knees, like she might fall at the mere thought of him. It took all her self-restraint to not whip around to catch a glimpse of him. She wasn’t playing hard to get, but this was very much not her scene. She didn’t want to intrude on whatever fun he was having. “You should go say hi,” Allie nudged her.

She smirked, wanting to take a sip of her drink but still feeling hesitant so she just put the cup to her lips, like she was pretending to sip it. “Uh...maybe later. I don’t want to interrupt,” she responded directly in Allie’s ear. The good news was she managed to peek over her shoulder to see him standing a little ways away from the fire. It was too dark to make out any specific features or defining muscles but just the way he stood was hot. She felt insane for thinking such a thing, but it was impossible not to. He was so cute. He had one hand in his front pocket, a drink in the other hand, and just a plaid flannel layered over another plaid flannel. His eyes and smile were lost in the dark, but she could picture it. The light evergreen color that was simply her new favorite color along with the pinkest most adorable lips curling across his face and making dimples in his cheeks that would make the Grand Canyon jealous of their depth.

“I think he would probably die if you interrupted,” she snickered.

Briefly, she entertained the idea. She could ask how Harry was doing on his homework, but that wasn’t the best party talk in the world (even if she did want to know). But she was still a little nervous, especially outside class, their walk, and even their study not-quite date to chat with him about anything. A party was more than likely his element. She could see why. Girls were surrounding him ogling very much the same things that she probably ogled on her way to math class. He was easy to talk to, sweet, and of course very handsome.

She shook her head. “Do they have s’mores?” She asked suddenly.

Allie spit her drink back into her cup and laughed. “Jesus Christ,” Allie rolled her eyes. “No; college-students don’t have s’mores at a party.”

She frowned. “I feel like this party would be a lot better if it did,” she grumbled.

Allie wrapped her arm over her shoulder. “Don’t ever change, please,” she kissed her cheek. She laughed lightly.

“If we had a party with a fire, I promise there would be s’mores,” she was very decisive. “It seems sinful to not have them.”

“Hey, love.”

She felt her whole body stiffen and somehow soften at the same time. They both turned to his voice and now she could see in the firelight, that the red colors of his flannel contrasted so sharply with his eyes. The green seemed to amplify—even in the dark. “Hi, Harry,” she smiled sweetly.

“Didn’t know y’would be here.”

“Yeah...uh... this is my best friend and roommate Allie,” she gestured to the girl beside her. “She invited me,” she explained.

“Hi, Harry,” Allie held her hand out. “Heard lots about you. And seen you around a lot,” she said knowingly.

“Hi, Allie,” he said sweetly shaking her hand politely. “Thanks for bringing her,” he grinned winking at her flirtatiously. “Can I steal her from you?” he asked. “If s’alright with you,” he turned back to her, looking into her eyes so deeply she swore he was reading her mind. Not that there were any other thoughts than Harry, Harry, Harry.

“Listen Harry,” Allie said squaring her shoulders.

“Oh my God, Al,” she shoved her back a bit. “Don’t.”

Harry took a step away and looked back at Allie nervously. “This is my best friend,” Allie said with the third drink doing most of the talking.

“Allie!” She hissed.

“I love her so much,” tipsy-Allie was very loving and adoring. A bit flighty too. If she didn’t have a rush of alcohol spinning her blood quickly through her, she might have been a little less aggressive.

“I see,” Harry smiled. “I will take really good care of her Allie. I promise. Y’have nothing t’worry ‘bout,” he shoved a hand back in his pocket. He looked at her shyly, knowing that Harry was also talking directly to her and not just her tipsy best friend. “I should have asked though,” he said with a smile. “D’you...want t’hang out a bit?” He asked.

She smiled and nodded. “Yes, please.”

“How polite,” Allie snickered. Her smile faded rapidly as she glared back at Harry. If she wasn’t so focused on him, she might have missed the way he gulped nervously. “Don’t break her heart, Harry,” she pointed accusingly at him.

“Allie, enough!” She pressed a hand over her face.

“Don’t leave without me, either. I’ll be with my friends,” she said and flitted away as if there was nothing abnormal about her behavior.

“I’m so sorry about her,” she whispered still with a hand over her face. Harry chuckled and shook his head.

“No, s’okay. S’good she cares ‘bout you so much,” he nodded. “I agree completely,” he assured her. “M’really glad t’see you. I was so surprised and distracted...I wasn’t thinking clearly. I should have asked first t’steal y’away...” he glanced at her full cup. “Don’t like your drink?” He asked.

“Um...no, well. Kind of. I’m a little wary of accepting it from someone I don’t know.”

Harry didn’t try to talk her out of how she felt which made her heart flutter more. “S’a good point...d’you want t’walk to the bar down the road?” He asked.

“I’d have to leave Allie,” she smirked. “Not sure I want to put that on someone else.”

“Hold on,” he said and rushed off to the house. It was only a couple minutes, if that. But he reappeared with a can in his hand. “I pulled it out of the fridge when the kid was turned,” he smirked.

She giggled. “My hero,” she laughed and sipped it without fear.

“So... d’you want t’go...find some place quieter t’talk?”

She glanced at the house. “Is there somewhere to talk?” She asked.

“Yeah... m’friend Niall and his friends are hosting. He’s got a keypad lock on his door, and I know the code t’his bedroom.”

“You always try to get girls into your friend’s room?” She asked quirking an eyebrow at him while sipping her drink. He chuckled and shook his head.

“No, s’nothing like that, love. Jus’ want some privacy.”

“Well, that’s fine by me, even by the fire, it’s chilly out here.”

“You’re cold? Here,” he pulled off the top flannel and draped it on her shoulders then put a hand on her lower back to guide her back toward the house. She could feel the stares of others on them as they meandered back. “S’not even winter yet. S’gonna be tough on your southern blood,” he smiled.

She smiled. “My parents are from here. I think there’s some northerner in me yet. Just got to get it out of hibernation.”

Harry chuckled. “You’ll still need a coat, love,” he promised.

If Harry was going to offer his own clothing to her, she wasn’t sure she’d want to bring her own coat at all.

--

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If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

[touyasdoll]

Like a Sister

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x best friend's little sister!reader

! Disclaimer ! NO INCEST. NO STEPCEST. absolutely nothing against those who write/read that, but this isn't that and I just wanna make that clear <3

Word count: 5k

Warnings: reader is Kiri's adoptive younger sister. I always try to make everything as inclusive as possible, so pls let me know (politely!) if I failed somewhere. fem reader, alcohol, intentionally making someone jealous, reader is wearing a skirt & a charm bracelet, reader gets picked up, missionary/intimate sex, no real prep, lots of feelings involved

Notes: I'm so sorry that this took literally over a year, but I hope that you enjoy it <3

Heartbeats & Handgrenades Masterlist

Your big brother is always looking out for you. You two have been close for as far back as you can remember and he’s always been very protective of you, because the absolute worst thing that he can think of is seeing you get hurt, so he does whatever he can to prevent that. 

It’s sweet, of course, and you love him for it. Eijirou is the best sibling that anyone could ask for. It’s nice having someone who cares enough to look out for you the way that he does. 

However. 

The problem is that he does so damn good of a job trying to look out for you that he ends up scaring off most of the guys you’re interested in. 

It started back in your school days. You’re only a year younger than your adoptive big bro, so you almost always attended the same school. But the moment that he put two and two together and realized that boys had taken an interest in you? It was like his protection skills leveled up. It was as if he had developed a sixth sense for when a cute boy was talking to you. He was always just around somehow. 

It went beyond your time in school though. It’s now become a sizable problem for you well into your adulthood. The same routine over and over again. The guy you’re talking to finds out that you’re the Red Riot’s little sister and suddenly they’re ghosting you for fear of ending up on his bad side. They’ve seen what he’s capable of. Well, physically capable of. In actuality, you don’t think that anyone who did cross you would get more than maybe a stern talking to from the “fearsome” hero. You can’t really blame them though. Most people don’t look at the rock hard hero and think of him as the teddy bear that you know him to be. 

The worst part is that doesn’t even realize that he’s essentially a chronic cockblock and you haven’t ever had the heart to tell him. Not that you think you want to. It is a bit of an awkward conversation to broach with your elder brother. How are you supposed to tell him that him being terrifyingly good at his job is what’s causing all your dick appointments to cancel on you? Especially when he thinks that you’re still such a sweet girl too. Such an innocent girl. Thankfully, he is incorrect there. His brawn doesn’t scare away absolutely everyone that you’re interested in. You’ve had plenty of practice by ways of shallow dating app hookups and bad decisions made after one too many at the bar. But it’s not like you’ve ever brought anyone home to meet the family, so he’s none the wiser to your ways. 

You’ve never so much as mentioned anyone you were seeing to your brother, which is fine by him. In his humble opinion, no one’s good enough for you anyway, which is something that he has expressed multiple times; it’s not a secret that’s what he thinks. He’s more than prepared to see you as his pure, innocent little sister forever.

Bakugou though? He has a lot more trouble picturing you as innocent.

He’s spent too many nights fisting his cock to the thought of your tight pussy wrapped around him. He’s imagined the taste of you on his tongue one too many times to see you as the virginal sweetheart that his best friend believes that you are.

He hates himself for it too. Hates that he always ends up here, furiously stroking himself while suffocating the sound of your name on his lips into his pillow, lest his roommate—your brother—hear him. Hates it. 

Because as much as he lusts after you, he loves you more. He's had to insist to Mina, who can see through his ruse and has called him out of it before, that he loves you like a sister, but in truth, he loves every little thing about you far beyond that. The sound of your laugh, listening to you talk about your interests, even the face that you make when something’s bothering you. He knows it immediately, because all he does when you’re around is watch you. He wants to know what upsets you, so that he can avoid it, so that he can fix it. So that he can make you happy, because that’s all that he’s ever wanted for you. Happiness. 

He couldn't tell you when it started, this little crush of his. As far as he can recall, he's always been drawn to you. You, who would always tag along with the rest of the gang back when you were all in high school. Who never seemed put off by his abrasive personality, even though it was certainly much worse back then. Who, even still today, always offers him a smile and makes his day just a bit brighter with only your presence.

He also couldn't tell you how he felt. First, he had no idea if you felt the same. He liked to think that he was fairly emotionally intelligent, good at reading cues and all that, but when it came to you, he was clueless. And he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to take the rejection. 

Little did he know that you were trying to make it obvious. Your innocent schoolgirl crush had turned into something that ran much deeper than that after so many years of knowing Bakugou. Much like your brother, you immediately saw past his tough exterior and came to realize that he's actually one of the most caring and thoughtful people that you've ever met. He's always looking out for others, and you’ve noticed that you are no exception.

He saw you out on a date once, which was the point. You went to his usual coffee shop with some guy, because you knew that he would be there after his shift for an afternoon pick-me-up. You had hoped that it would make him jealous. That maybe you could get a sense for whether or not he harbored the same feelings that you did. Whether or not he had the same recurrent  thoughts about the feeling of his skin on yours. You just wanted to know; you wanted an inkling of something to prove that maybe he was just as interested as you. 

He did seem irritated beyond that typical gruff facade of his, but he also seemed genuine when he pulled you aside and told you that your date wasn't worth your time. Of course, he'd been right too. Not too long after Bakugou had scooped up his order and bolted, the idiot in question started visibly ogling other patrons in the cafe.

He was always right. About everything. It would honestly be annoying if he wasn't so good at giving advice. You knew that you could always go to him with even the silliest of problems and he'd offer you an attentive ear and a few words of wisdom that you never would've considered on your own. He had a knack for solving your every dilemma. 

Which gives you a wicked idea. 

He's always helped you out before. So why can't he help you with this little problem that you're having now?

Feeling a stroke of genius, you hatch a plan to send Bakugou signals that he can't miss.

You check the time on your phone. 2:16 PM. Your brother still has plenty of time left during his patrol shift and Katsuki is most likely at the apartment all by himself. 

///

Half an hour later, you’re rapping your knuckles against the apartment door and before you can even drop your hand back to your side, the door’s swinging open. 

Bakugou stands before you in gray sweatpants and a loose muscle tank that may have been a sleeved shirt at one point, but now it’s been cut nearly all the way to the hem on both sides. His face twists in confusion as he looks down at you.

“Didn’t your brother tell you he was workin’ today? He won’t be home for another couple hours.”

“I know,” you say simply, shrugging and clasping your hands behind your back as you stroll inside the apartment. “I came to see you.”

“Me?” He asks, sounding slightly incredulous, though he covers it by clearing his throat. “Why? Ya need somethin’?”

“Yeah, actually. Do you have a minute?” 

You go ahead and slip your shoes off by the door before making yourself comfortable on the couch, fanning out your short skirt, so that it drapes across your thigh just right when you cross your legs. 

“I’ve always got time for you.” 

He shrugs, sauntering over to take a seat on the opposite side of the couch. He angles his body to face you as he sprawls out, his muscular arm laying over the back of the couch, fingers almost near enough to touch your shoulder. 

“What’s goin’ on?”

It’s hard to focus on his question when you can see so much of his bare chest beneath his altered tank top, but his voice pulls your eyes to his face and your brain, thankfully, catches up. 

“I’ve just been having some boy troubles,” you admit, a soft pout pursing your lips together. You don’t miss the glance that he steals at them. 

“Well, that’s your problem,” he scoffs. “Stop dating boys and trying dating a man for a change. Boys are just gonna break your heart. A real man’ll treat ya right.”

“By a real man, do you mean someone like.. you?” 

You ask so blatantly that it makes his head spin. He doesn’t even register your hand on his knee until a full two seconds later; he’s too busy trying to process whether or not you actually said what he thinks you said. He looks down and you swear you can sense the nervous energy radiating off of him as he lifts his hand to rest it atop your own. He doesn’t want you to stop touching him, but he’s already picturing folding you in half right there on the couch and he respects his best friend too much to ever do something like that to his sister. Or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

“Someone like me, yeah,” he says as he starts to push your hand away, but he can’t bring himself to actually do it. 

He presses his hand down on top of yours and finds the nerve to meet your gaze, which he immediately recognizes as a mistake. That little smile on your lips. The sense of longing that he’s almost certain he can see in your eyes. They’re both dwindling his resolve down to nothing. 

“Well, why not you?” You shrug, daring to slip your hand up to his thigh. “Why can’t I have you, Katsuki?”

He can’t believe how simple you’re making it sound. As if you two could be together just like that? What would Kirishima think? What would he do? He’s at a loss for words. He can think of reasons to say no, but all that he wants to say is yes. 

“Out of every man that I’ve ever met, you’ve always treated me the best,” you say as you look down at your hands, placing your other one on top of his. “You’re always here for me when I need you. You look out for me. You actually seem to care about how I’m doing. You even pay attention to the little things like how I take my coffee or even when I wear a different perfume. Why shouldn’t I be with a guy who does all of that?”

His heart is pounding in his chest. He’s never actually felt his pulse move quite this fast and considering his line of work, that’s saying something. He opens his mouth, trying to find a way to refuse you, but he can’t. He just can’t. 

“You should,” he starts, brows knitting together with regret. “You absolutely should and you shouldn’t settle for anything less, but I don’t.. I don’t know if..”

His lips press together in a hard line. He can’t even say the words. You tilt your head and the disappointed look on your face just about kills him right there. 

“It’s okay, I understand. I thought that..” you trail off, looking down as you start to pull your hands away. “I’m sorry. I must’ve been misreading things.”

“No,” he says quickly, sandwiching both of your hands between his own as you lift your head to meet his eyes once more and he finds relief in the hope that he finds there. “No, that’s not it. I,” he sighs. “You didn’t misread anything. I like you. Goddamn, do I fucking like you..”

HIs ruby eyes search your face, a melancholy smile just barely turning up the corners of his mouth. You hold your breath, trying to prepare yourself for the inevitable ‘but’ that you feel coming. 

“But I don’t know if I could do that to your brother.”

Your shoulders slump and your face falls too, eyes averting to focus on a spot on the floor as you nod your head. You would try to mask your disappointment, but you can’t seem to. Even in this scenario, being Red Riot’s little sister hinders your romantic prospects. 

“I was hoping that because it’s you it wouldn’t be an issue,” you say quietly, retracting your hands as you stand up. “I’m really sorry for bothering you with this. Just don’t even tell him that I was here, please. I’ll get out of your hair before I embarrass myself further.”

You turn to leave and he flies to his feet, reaching out to take your hand and spin you around to face him. His impressively large form looms over you, sizing you up with a genuinely curious expression. 

“What do you mean by that? Because it’s me?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug, looking up at him with those doe eyes again. “I just figured that if ever there was a guy that he thought he could trust would treat me right, it’d be you. He respects you more than anyone else he knows. He’s known you forever. He even still looks up to you. If you don’t meet the standard in his eyes then.. I don’t know that anyone ever will.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that. He just stares down at you with knit brows and a scowl on his lips, rendered both pensive and frustrated by just how much sense it makes. He can’t deny that. But he also can’t ignore the seemingly infinite amount of times that Kirishima had warned every single member of their friend group growing up that you were strictly off limits. 

Then again. You’re an adult. He’s an adult. And he’s always thought that his friend was a bit too overbearing when it came to your dating life. He gets where he’s coming from; he doesn’t want you dating an asshole, but they’re on the same page there. And this is different. Right? What you’re saying makes sense. He’d never hurt you. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did. Kirishima would understand this logic, wouldn’t he?

He hoped so.

You’re waiting for him to say something. Do something. Anything. Finally, he seems to snap out of his thoughts and he tugs on your hand, pulling you closer to slip his arm around your waist as his hand leaves yours to cup your cheek. He kisses you the way that he’s wanted to for so, so long and it feels too right to seem like the wrong decision. 

It happens so fast that you’re caught off guard. It takes a moment for it to register that this is actually happening, but when you realize, you kiss him back with just as much passion. All that tension is broken, shattered to pieces to leave nothing but a sense of all encompassing need in its place. You press your hands to his chest, fingers tightening around the fabric of his tank to tug impatiently. You’d both waited long enough. You’d both waited long enough for this and it was becoming evident just how little patience the both of you had left by the way that you’re hands are greedily exploring each other’s bodies. 

“Are you sure about this?” He manages to mutter between feverish kisses as his hands start to skim beneath your top. “Because I don’t think I’ll survive it if you end up changin’ your mind on me, princess.”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” you reply without hesitation, reaching down to pull your top off completely before you reach back to unhook your bra. 

You lean in to kiss him again, but he pulls back to take in the sight of you. He’s dreamed about this moment for too long, but it’s clear now that his imagination hasn't been able to do you justice. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he says so sincerely that it makes you stop for a moment as your cheeks grow warm. 

You lean in again to grab the hem of his shirt, giving him a chaste kiss before you lift it over his head and toss it aside. Your fingertips explore the shape of his abs, traveling up and over his chest until your hands are pressed behind his neck to pull him in once more. 

“So are you,” you murmur against his lips, capturing them again to slip your tongue into his mouth. 

His large hands find the small of your back before they dip lower to cup your ass. He flips up your skirt and groans when he feels the warmth of your bare skin, massaging your cheeks with a firm but gentle touch. His confidence seems to be growing as quickly as his erection has. You think to yourself that he must not have anything beneath his sweats with the way that you can feel his cock prodding at you.

He helps you shed the rest of your clothing, tugging your panties off along with your skirt before he lifts his arms to let you lift his tank and toss it aside. He’s thoroughly worked up and ready to go, but nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of your palm against his throbbing member. His breath hitches and the noise he makes almost sounds pained. All he can think about is having you wrapped around him. He nearly forgets to breathe as he bucks his hips into your touch. A whine even slips from his lips.

“You really don’t know what you do to me,” he murmurs, eyes closed and hands greedy as they knead the fat of your ass again. 

“I think I have an idea,” you reply, wearing a playful smile as you cut to the chase and tug his sweats down to wrap your hand around his fully exposed and swollen cock. 

He suddenly stoops down to grab you behind your thighs, effortlessly lifting you up onto his waist as he silences you with a commanding kiss. He steps out of the sweats now pooled around his ankles and carts you off to the bedroom. 

Your arms are wound tight around his neck and neither one of you seems to want to come up for air. Even when he lays you down, he keeps his lips moving against yours. You part your legs and his fingertips skim along the outside of your thigh as his hips start to roll. He can’t even pretend that he’s in control of them as his tip begins to press against your slit, begging to part your lips and slip right inside of you. 

“Do it,” you beg, the plea hardly a whisper as you continue crashing your lips into his. “Please, Katsuki. I’m ready, I promise. Just fuck me already.”

You shift your hips forward and, as much as he wants to take his time with you, he can’t help himself when you manage to nudge the head of his cock inside of you. He immediately gets lost in the warm, wet, and welcoming sensation of your walls. You apparently weren’t kidding when you said you were ready. He drags his hips back and then allows himself to be sucked in as he slowly sinks himself inside. 

The both of you let out a sigh of mutual relief and he pushes himself up, placing his hands on either side of your body to stare down at your perfect face. He gives another roll of his hips and struggles to keep his own eyes open, so that he can watch the way yours fall shut and how your face twists as the pleasure courses through your body. He thinks to himself that it has to be one of the best things that he’s ever been blessed enough to see and he knows that he needs more. He needs to make you feel better than anyone else ever has. 

So that’s what he does. 

His lips connect with every inch of your skin as he languidly thrusts in and out, allowing you to fully cherish every glorious sensation. The feeling of him stretching you out so slowly, filling you up as his hips gently connect with your own. The loving kisses peppered all the way from your temple to the valley of your breasts. The soft yet sinful sounds of him losing himself within you, his hot breath tickling the shell of your ear as he sinks inside yet again and realizes he never wants to pull out. 

You return his gentle touches in kind. Your hands blindly travel along his body, exploring his back, chest, and biceps at a leisurely pace, eager to offer him as many wonderful sensations as he’s lavishing you with until you feel a tightening deep within your belly that inspires you to clutch tight to his back, nails imprinting half moons into his flesh as your legs tighten around his hips. 

Without a word, he knows what you need and he gives it to you. 

He readjusts, propping himself up further to allow himself more leverage, which he uses to his full advantage as he starts drilling into you, steadily increasing his pace with each thrust of his hips. He tosses his head back, letting out a guttural groan and the odd curse word as his movements become more sloppy, but in the best way. 

The both of you become completely tangled up with one another, a mesh of two bodies become one as you move in tandem, trading fervent kisses and wanton moans back and forth until your overcome by pleasure. 

Your hands find the fabric of his comforter, now mussed atop his once neatly made bed, and you hold fast to it as your spine bows. Everything is rigid and all too much for a brief second before euphoria explodes throughout your every nerve ending, sending you into a glorious spiral. You call his name again and again in your bliss, too far gone to find any other words. They’ve lost all meaning. You beckon him closer with each utterance and every maddening pulse of your walls around him. He hardly has time to appreciate your orgasm for all it’s worth before his own hits him like a freight train. 

“F-fuck!” He growls, overwhelmed by the force with which he cums.

He doesn’t even have the sense to think about pulling out, much less the time to do it before he’s pouring every last drop of his seed deep inside your cunt. He hangs his head, enveloping you in his arms as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, smothering it in kisses as he pants and groans through his release. 

Eventually, you both slow to a halt, but you don’t disconnect right away. You exchange more tender touches and gentle nuzzles back and forth, content to maintain your proximity while your blood slowly begins to cool and the thrumming in your chests starts to dissipate, though both of you are pleased to find it never goes away completely. Not like it ever had before when you were around one another, but now that both of you know how the other feels, it’s different. It’s better. 

Everything is better. 

He opens his mouth to speak, to finally breathe life into those three little words that have died on his tongue countless times throughout the years in his cowardice, but the sound of the lock on the front door clicking open has them perishing yet again. 

He freezes, realizing that there’s likely no way out of this now. You’re just as petrified, holding stock still until you hear the door swing open and both of you spring into action. Bakugou clambers off of you to snatch a pair of boxers from his drawer, hopping into them as he swings his bedroom door shut while you scramble beneath the covers to at least protect your modesty. Thankfully, your brother isn’t able to take a peek inside the room. You just hope that he doesn’t recognize your clothing piled beside the coffee table.

“Shit, I guess I should’ve told you I was comin’ home early. Sorry, bro,” Kirishima laughs as his heavy boots can be heard venturing into the living room. “I’m gonna go take a shower. Pretend like I’m not here.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, but it's minimal. You know you have to go and go fast. 

“I’ll get your clothes,” Bakugou says quietly, listening at the door for the click of Kirishima’s. 

You nod and sit up in the bed, waiting for him to return and hand you your outfit before you slip out from beneath the covers to dress. He does the same, stepping into the same sweats and tank top that you’d torn off of him earlier. 

“M’sorry about this,” he mutters, nodding towards the door. 

You shake your head, walking closer to wrap your arms around his middle as you tilt your head back and smile at him. His arms fold around you to pull you snug to his chest. You rest a hand on his cheek and pull him into a kiss that’s as sweet and deliberate as he had been with you and he’s grateful for it. He’d been half afraid that you’d scurry away and pretend as if this hadn’t even happened.

“Don’t be. We’ll figure out how to tell him together, okay? I just don’t want it to be this way.”

“Right. I don’t either. We’ll figure it out,” he repeats, his lips turning up in a smile that softens as he studies your features. “We’re gonna have to, because I love you.”

His admission renders you speechless, your eyes widening as heat creeps up the back of your neck. The pulse of your heart starts thumping in your own ears again, hammering throughout your every blood vessel as you will yourself to snap out of it. 

“I love you too,” you blurt out unceremoniously, though you know you mean those three little words and the smile on his face says that he knows it too. 

“I’m not working tonight. I can come by in a little bit?” He suggests, hopeful that you’ll agree and how could you not?

“I’ll make us dinner,” you confirm, smiling ear to ear as you lean in to kiss him once again.

He tightens his hold on you, finding it more and more difficult to let you go the longer that he has you in his arms, but reluctantly, the two of you soon part and he knows that you have to leave. 

He pokes his head out to ensure that the coast is clear before he guides you out of the room and you hurry out the door, turning to blow a kiss over your shoulder before you head down the hall, giddy as you’ve ever been. 

Bakugou tidies up his room, mulling over an excuse to offer his best friend until he and Kirishima both end up in the kitchen together. 

“Seems like you’ve had a pretty good afternoon, huh?” Eijirou grins and bumps him on the shoulder before he ducks into the fridge for a beer. “Who’s the girl? Anyone I know?”

“Nah, just some girl from the gym. Don’t think you’ve seen her around.”

He feels terrible lying, but he figures it’s for the best, just for the time being. He’ll come clean eventually. No harm, no foul, right?

“Well, good for you, man. It’s good to see you puttin’ yourself out there. I was gettin’ a little worried about you being chronically single,” he jokes, chuckling as he travels into the living room to get comfortable on the couch and flip on the tv. 

“Ha, yeah.” He nods, though he’s unable to even look his friend in the face as he snatches his water bottle and heads for the door. “I’m actually going over to her place for dinner, so I’ll probably be back later, but don’t wait up, okay?”

“Okay. Have fun, man,” Kirishima calls back, smiling genuinely as he waves him out the door. 

That is, until he notices the small charm on the floor in front of him. He leans forward to pick it up and isn’t difficult for him to put two and two together. The clothes he’d spotted earlier had seemed familiar, but he didn’t think much of it. This, he couldn’t dispute. He knows this charm, because he had gifted it to you just last week as an addition to the bracelet that always adorned your wrist. And, as far as he knew, you hadn’t been over to their place since last month, yet here the charm was. 

He doesn’t know what hurts more, that two of his best friends felt like they had to sneak around behind his back or that one of them had just lied to his face about it.

I know I didn’t have to end it this way. the impulsive thoughts won today and I’m sorry about it ajdhsh but thank you so much for reading!! 💕 take a forehead kiss on your way out *mwah*