#AND WAY MORE PODCAST MINS

[yakultii]

gurllllll Spotify wrapped is out !!!!!

gurrrrrrrrrl tell me about it ;;(((((((((( and now we have to wait a whole year byeeeeeeeeeeeeee but also tell me ur most fun stat

[unproduciblesmackdown]

oh yeah also have to shout out the young queer theatre-enjoyer (as doer or audience) with christian parent experience of "at least i can be in the choir & be one of like 2-4 tenors & enjoy singing harmonies & most of practice is just chilling b/c it's 95% playing the melody 50x for the twenty sopranos who still don't have it down" while also not having to deal with sitting in the midst of the pews or whatever

[rememberthelaughtermp3]

FINISHED!!!! IM DONE!!! IM FINALLY DONE WITH THIS STUPID FUCKING ASSIGNMENT!!!

[ohnoitstbskyen]

100 songs to get to know me

I posted this image over on the bluesky, and it got like 100 likes, so now here we are. I was going to write them all up here, but Tumblr imposes a 10 video limit on embeds per post which I find infuriating.

So! You can read the first ten entries here, but you can read the entire list here: https://tbskyen.bearblog.dev/100-songs-to-get-to-know-me/

1. ABBA - Lay All Your Love On Me

I genuinely don't quite know if my enjoyment of ABBA is something I came by honestly, or something which is simply genetically engineered into my Scandinavian soul. I remember hearing my mom blasting their songs on the home stereo in my childhood, and the association has put permanent nostalgia blinders on me for all of ABBA's greatest hits. Still, I think the beat is undeniable and the mournful tone of the chorus adds some real melancholy to the dramatic plea at the core of the song.

2. Afenginn - Oestrogenmanipuleret Basilisk

Afenginn describe themselves as "bastard etno-punk" which is probably as good a description as you're going to get. There's a lot of klezmer and eastern European folk influences here, but what is more important about Afenginn's best songs is that they go hard as f*ck and it's an absolute blast to dance to them at a show. They played this the first time I saw them live, and the rhythm comes back every time I hear it again. Good times!

3. Afenginn - Ralli in D Minor

With 100 slots to fill, I am giving myself permission to allocate two slots to Afenginn, and for the same reason. Ralli in D Minor is less of a dance tune to me, and more of a headbanger, but with a sufficiently loud subwoofer and a game crowd, you could f*ing mosh to this.

4. Anamanaguchi - Prom Night

I discovered Anamanaguchi as the composers of the title track to the Nerdist podcast back in the day, and being unfamiliar with the concept of chiptunes, I was drawn in initially by the sheer novelty of hearing the squeaks and bloops of my gaming childhood employed towards rock tunes and combined with "real" instruments.

Beyond the gimmick, though, Anamanaguchi won me over fully with the Scott Pilgrim game soundtrack, and then 2013's Endless Fantasy, where the gimmick of chiptune nostalgia noise (at least for me) finally coalesced into something that felt entirely like its own thing. Plus I'm a sucker for exactly this kind of bright dance pop, and Bianca Raquel's vocals here are a perfect match for the tone of the music.

5. Jennifer Hudson - Memory

2019s Cats is a fascinating fucking disaster. Tom Hooper is the worst director of musicals in my living memory, the abuse of the VFX staff extended beyond brutal crunch and absurd challenge imposed by a director who had no idea what the hell he was asking them to do all the way into an astonishingly arrogant and condescending joke from Rebel Wilson and James Corden at the expense of workers who were the last people at fault for the disaster that the movie became (look in the fucking mirror, Wilson and Corden, your performances were rancid).

Still, the silver lining of Cats is we got to hear Jennifer Hudson shake the world on its foundations with her rendition of Memory. I don't give a shit what anyone says, this performance is transcendent and no amount of institutional failure can dim its quality.

6. Annette Bjergfeldt - Min Bærende Bjælke

Annette is one of my mother's oldest friends, and a prolific singer-songwriter now turned author. I've been going to her concerts since I was a little child, and while I am absolutely not the target audience for any of it, it has stuck with me as part of my musical vocabulary deep into adulthood.

She has experimented with brass band accompaniment a few times, but for my money, nothing quite comes close to the floating, optimistic vibe of Min Bærende Bjælke. It sounds like a very particular kind of lasting romance, which of course is also what the lyrics are about.

7. Hozier - Blood Upon the Snow

We'll get more than one Hozier song on this list, but Blood Upon the Snow stands out to me as a song which easily transcends the videogame soundtrack promotional tie-in nature of its conception. Bear McCreary's hurdy gurdy and lyrics about surviving through adversity by holding on to existence with your teeth and nails... yeah, it hits with me. There's something real in that.

"The trees deny themselves nothing that makes them grow, no rainfall, no sunshine, no blood upon the snow." Something about that feels real.

8. The Beatles - Something

idk if I really need to write anything about George Harrison's most famous love song that hasn't been written more extensively by a million dad-rock enthusiasts before me.

I will say, this is one of the few songs I listen to regularly that justify the expensive audiophile headphones I invest in. There's a LOT to hear on a good, lossless, original mix of this song, if you're the kind of pervert who gets off to listening to a song a hundred times to focus on different parts of the soundscape. (it's me, I am the pervert)

9. Blink-182 - Adam's Song

I discovered a lot of my music taste as a young man from extremely low-resolution AMVs that my friend used to download off sketchy file-sharing sites. Blink-182 entered my musical lexicon through the one above, specifically, piggybacking off of my teenage love of Dragon Ball.

I never really grokked what the lyrics were actually about, until relistening to the song years later, but something about the minor-key wail of the thing really sat with my angsty teenage soul and has stuck with me ever since. I cannot listen to this song without that music video playing in my head, the song will forever belong to Vegeta.

There's remastered versions of this AMV out there, apparently, but if it's not 144p with tinny audio, it's just not right. That's not what the song is supposed to sound like, not to me.

10. Blink-182 - Miss You

Blink-182 is one of those bands I discovered via anime AMVs and listened to obsessively for a period as a teenager (The Offspring will show up later on this list), and then fell entirely out of touch with for years until discovering much later in life that they did, in fact, keep releasing music. I Miss You from their self-titled 2003 album felt, when I discovered it sometime in the early 2010s, like a much more mature and interesting sound from a band which had gotten stuck associated with my adolescent superpower kung-fu fantasies which I was, at the time, feeling a bit embarrassed about.

The song had a resurgence on TikTok a little while ago as a meme template, which made me listen to the albums again, and rediscover yet again that Blink-182 is, in fact, still putting out albums.

---

The rest of the list is here: https://tbskyen.bearblog.dev/100-songs-to-get-to-know-me/

[nmakii]

omg bachira, isagi, tetchou and dazai with an autistic s/o PLEASE

if you will , make them headcanons ^^ hope you have a wonderhoy day !!

hello, my alien. we’re each other’s mystery

— bachira + isagi + tetchou + dazai x autistic!s/o

so basically all of them x me i see.. i feel like i fucked up on isagi i cant pinpoint his personality ugh. debut into bllk omg im shy hi reentry into bsd too haha if u guys were active in 2022 i think i am familiar. WAIT NOTE AB THE TITLE… LISTEN TO FRIENDS BY BTS IM NOT ABLEIST ITS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE :(

— bachira meguru

lets be honest he is also a bit autistic…

very hard to be around when you’re overstimmed ngl… he tries to tone it down when he knows you cant handle too much at the moment. but it’s hard for him to just dial the craziness to 50 😞

oh, very good though at getting you out of social situations. he can slip the two of you out of a party like it’s nobody’s business, cause it is nobody’s business :x

hes also a bit of a wild card too if you’re obsessive about having a routine. he’s a free spirit, so having to do things the same way is a bit of a chore.

when you go non-verbal, he brings out a notebook that you two write your conversations on. he doesn’t actually have to write it down. he can communicate just fine, but he likes to write them down as a memento of your relationship.

he alsoooo likes listening to you yap about your special interest! very attentive, you’d think that you’re a professor and he’s your student at how the flow of your conversation is going

“huh— where did bachira and s/o go..?” isagi asked. he turned around, looking for the two of you after the sudden realization that he was abandoned in the middle of the buffet line…

bachira pulled you out, and in an abandoned hall. he noticed you suddenly started plugging your ears.

‘you ok sunshine? :( is the music too loud?’

‘a little bit… i just wanna get away for like 5 min..’

‘hehe, dont worry. ill stay with you （╹◡╹） <3’

‘ty meg :) <3’

bachira smiled as he saw your hand-drawn emoticon. the two of you doodled all over the notebook while he hummed until you were ready to return.

isagi groaned as he saw the two of you reenter. “you guys..! you should’ve told me if you were gonna sneak away!” bachira stuck out his tongue, making a silly expression. “oops! it just slipped my mind!” he snickered.

— isagi yoichi

with the geniuses he has to keep up with, you’re a total walk in the park for him ;p

mega caretaker, he’s super good at protecting you in uncomfortable environments. i feel like he has a weighted blanket somewhere in his room to cover you with, cause he knows it makes you feel safe.

he lowk overprotective sometimes though. he knows his friends like bachira and raichi are a bit more on the raucous side, so he doesn’t hang out with them when he’s with you until like… 2 years into your relationship (they lowk didnt even know he had a partner). in those two years, he only introduced you to his peaceful friends like nagi, hiori, iemon, and kuon

he doesn’t fight you too much about if you have a routine. he has a luck routine and his spacial awareness makes him really meticulous about how things happen, so he’s gets your struggle :x

he tried learning sign language. he really tried… but there was so much signs; for an entire month, his search history was ‘how do i say [thing] in sign language’

he ended up only learning the alphabet, numbers, and basic words like please and hungry. now when you go non-verbal, he simply just opens his notes app for you to type ;p

he, like bachira, loves your yap. its like his personal podcast fr. he likes to let you sit on the kitchen counter and yap, while he washes dishes. he also likes putting on wireless headsets and listen to your voice messages while he practices, or works out at the gym.

“are you absolutely sure you wanna meet them?” isagi asks. “babe, theyre my friends, but theyre also kind of annoying.” he warns you. of course he meant it lovingly… you nod. “yup! they’re your friends, yoi. i wanna meet them..!”

he sighs and nods. “fine… don’t say i didn’t warn you…” he opens the door. you recognize kunigami, he’s talking with chigiri. “isagi! there you areee~!” a boy with a bob-cut hums. “ah, bachira… this is s/o.” isagi points to you. “ooh~! nice to meet you! im bachira meguru. so you’re the one isagi’s been hiding?”

“don’t overwhelm them too much…” isagi sighs, he pulls you away carefully, bringing you in kunigami’s direction. if you settled in with people you were already acquainted with, then you should probably adjust better. that was isagi’s conclusion. “if any of them pester you, just tell me, okay?”

you nod, a bit saddened at your’s and bachira’s conversation’s sudden end. “im not a kid, yoi. you don’t have to worry over me or anything.” isagi frowns. “hnn… i just don’t want my friends overstimulating you. they might be too much for you, babe.” he explains. at that moment, igaguri suddenly yelled out at gagamaru for taking one of his gyozas, making you instinctively cover your ears.

“seeee?” he points out. “okay… point taken… but, i can still deal with it. if im uncomfortable, ill just tell you, okay?” you offer, trying to compromise. isagi looks around, weighing the possibilities before nodding. “finee…”

that day actually went quite well, you were able to keep up with all of them without getting overstimulated. that night, isagi had his face in his pillow, his face being that of death and grief. ‘they dont need me anymore… theyre gonna end up hanging out with my friends more than me…’ he mumbles.

— tetchou suehiro

another lowk might be autistic (but in a diff way)

he isnt too sure about what to do when you’re overstimmed. so, he usually just takes you to a quiet place and sits down with you until you’re calmer.

hes hella conflicted on whether or not he should introduce you to the hunting dogs. his line of work is pretty dangerous after all, and his co-workers aren’t exactly… pacifists 💀

he ends up deciding not to though. worst comes to worst, he just introduces you 5 years in to your relationship— thats what he thinks.

he doesnt mind your routine. he, himself, is pretty eccentric, so you two are just okay with each other’s quirks :x

tetchou doesnt care when you go non-verbal. lol. okay joke, its more like, he’s also very quiet, he doesn’t even actually notice that you two havent talked to each other for 14 hours.

but when the two of you are talking, he is still as quiet as ever. it’s usually you yapping and tetchou asking questions once in a while. never though, does he ever interrupt you when you talk; always waits for you to finish what you’re saying so you dont lose your train of thought 🫡

tetchou spreads some spicy ranch on his pancakes. it was a pretty good combo. he sat at the dining table, as he heard your alarm clock ring.

first thing you do when you wake up, stretch then use the bathroom. tetchou has your routine memorized by now. second, have cereal for breakfast. third, get dressed. fourth, check if your bag has everything you need. he continues his own routine, and you complete yours, until it’s time to head to work.

you’re double, triple, quadruple checking your bag, making sure you didn’t leave anything. tetchou finished lacing up the strings of his boots before he rises back. “ready for work?��� he asks, taking his own little peek into your bag.

“uhuh” you nod. tetchou hums, noticing the charger you left on the counter, and slipping it into your bag. “now you are…”. you gasp, “so that’s what i forgot… thank you, chou..” you say. his deep voice vibrates in his throat as he leans in and kisses you, “stay safe. call me if you need anything.” you wrap your arms around his neck.

last part of your routine, hug and kiss tetchou before leaving for work.

— osamu dazai

he lowk adhd u feel?

when youre overstimmed, he lets you lay on his shoulder while he pats your back and brushes your hair. times like this are his personal favorites, it’s when the world is quiet and no one but you and him exists.

defdefdef introduces you to the ADA members. he finds you similar to kyoka, and always encourages you to hang out with her.

adding on that, he sort of sees akutagawa in you… is akutagawa also autistic? hmm… either way, hes a criminal! he cant let his partner interact with a criminal! — the criminal says after diner dashing again.

the routine thing doesnt really work for dazai either… it’s either you break up with him or let him wake up at 4:00 to eat noodles and rearrange the layout of his dorm, bestie… (just leaves his pot in the sink btw, he a bum like that)

actually knows sign language! dont ask me why he knows, bc i dunno either. he just does :x

he also loves to listen to your yap. actual yapper x yapper. you two’s conversations are lowk exhausting though. you both interrupt each other and talk until you’re both breathless. HAHAHAAH

sluuuuuuurp!

you’re waken up by the loud, really gross, squelching sounds of dazai’s saucy noodles as he slurps them up. the sound is uncomfortable— really uncomfortable.

“s—samu… dont… too loud…” you groan, trying to cover your ears. dazai perks up, “ah, did i wake you..? awh, im sorry, dear..!” he apologizes. even though dazai truly meant it, for some reason it just sounded like sarcasm. “uhuh… j…just dont do it again… trying to sleep…” you hum. “got it… go back to sleep, sweets”

for the rest of the night, you sleep well. dazai makes sure to remain veeeery quiet, taking bites of his noodles rather than slurping, carrying his feet, and using all of his hidden muscles to carry his bookshelf. maybe if he keeps doing this, he wont look so lanky anymore.

at around 6:30, you finally wake up again, your surroundings completely different, and you start to panic. “wh—h..huh..?” you look around. dazai’s in the closet, rolling all of his empty beer bottles into it. “hi, baby! just decided to tidy up a bit. you like?” he asks

tidy up? “tidy up, my ass..! all of your stuff is in different places..! i have to relearn my way around your dorm all over again..!” you complain. “hehe… it was for a good cause! you have your own space now in here!” he grins, opening the second to the bottom drawer in his dresser. it was tidied up, and empty.

“for me?” you ask. “mmhm.” he confirms with a hum. even though dazai was quite lazy, stubborn, and annoying, he really put effort into making you happy. just you.

[secretsecretbunny]

Just friends: stray kids smau.

Get to know the characters/story set up.

pairing: lee minho x f!reader - roommate!skz.

genre: fluff, angst, smau, (maybe smut in the future idk yet, may have written parts as well) roommates au.

notes/set up: boys are non idols, but some still do music/dance + other jobs. they all live together in a big ass house that's owned by richboy!felix's family. chan, minho, changbin, and y/n were college friends. chan and felix are cousins. felix, hyunjin, han, seungmin, and innie were college friends. literally all college dropouts which is what they all bonded over. ended up living together by association basically. chan, bin, and han are still 3racha, and are known, just not famous.

↓about them↓

chan: nicknames- channie, dad, pops, paparacha, sometimes gets called chris but usually only when someone's mad/serious. producer for social media musicians/small time musicians, and 3racha. almost always at the studio. group dad. supportive, sweet, helpful, responsible, overworker, protective, peace keeper. loves his friends more than anything, also loves music, romcoms, running/jogging, working out with changbin. well off but not super rich.

minho: nicknames- min, catboy, grumpy, twinkle toes, dancing queen, loverboy, hoe. choreographer/dance instructor. cold on the outside, squishy in the middle. doesn't express his feelings well, but tends to be softer around y/n. loves cats, movie nights, night walks/drives, and true crime podcasts. social weed smoker and drinker. hardworker, sarcastic, flirty, funny, makes inappropriate jokes. he likes to pretend he doesn't care, but secretly does.

changbin: nicknames- binnie, bin, binbo, crybaby, muscle man, beefcake. personal trainer, duh. loud. straight up himbo. his appearance scares people but he's protective, kind, caring, and will cry at cute things/when he's happy. absolutely loves cute things, y/n's cooking, cheesy TV dramas, rapping, working out, and affection. all around soft boy until you piss him off.

hyunjin: nicknames- hyune, hyunnie bun, jinnie, gorgeous, rapunzel, punzie, bob ross. he's rich. also sells his art. sarcastic, blunt, artistic, boujie, addicted to shopping. also likes to pretend he doesn't care, but probably cares too much. loves painting, drawing, and being lazy with his friends. a little in love with felix, no one can tell if he's serious or not. will absolutely start painting on the walls, floors, or ceilings just because he can. everyone loves it though.

jisung: nicknames- hanji, ji, hannie, babygirl, smokeshow, bud, han yolo. does random odd jobs and makes a suspicious amount of money from it + sometimes streams with felix. stoner, great friend, supportive, anxious, hyper, has mad adhd, loves anime, rapping, and sweets. he's a little weird but in a good and cute way. loves sharing his weed with his friends. also loud.

felix: nicknames- lixie, lix, pixie, sunshine, golden boy, richy rich, brownie boy, angel. also just rich, part time streamer. literally sunshine ofc. social butterfly. always trying to drag y/n or one of the boys somewhere. sweet, generous, kind, happy, excitable, loves cute things, baking, video games, and also anime. him and ji bond over it.

seungmin: nicknames- seungminnie, minnie, puppy, bitch, dickhead, devil. luxury dog walker (started his own dog walking business). sarcastic, sometimes rude, easily annoyed, but overall a great friend. likes dogs more than people. protective af but tries to hide it. will 100% shut off his rude and sarcastic comments if his friends really need him. loves pranks, coffee, singing, writing, and scary movies.

jeongin: nicknames- innie, in, babyboy, coffee boy, bigmouth. barista at a fancy coffee shop. wants to make his own money and not live off of his wealthy parents. sweet, kind, generous, can be sarcastic when he wants to be. loves animals, coffee, video games, asmr, and singing. can't keep a secret to save his life. plays innocent but is definitely not. once smoked weed and and cried because he couldn't remember how to make a latte. never smoked again. he's the only one of the boys who calls y/n noona.

y/n: nicknames- bug, bubs, princess, tiny, sweetheart, pretty, feisty, attitude, noona. has lots of secrets and trauma. no one knows what she does for work. she refuses to tell the boys and any time they have tried to find out she catches on and puts a stop to it. they just know she's getting paid well. sweet, kind, funny, people pleaser, messy. has an attitude sometimes and can hold a grudge. when in a fight or flight situation it's 50/50. she'll either punch you in the face or run so far her legs turn to jelly. acts confident and bold: isn't. just a great actress. gets sad often but pretends she's not. loves cooking, ghibli movies, plants/flowers, cuddling, fire, and her friends. hates her family. smokes with ji a lot but is a social drinker. she grew up really poor so she tends to get anxious about spending money/people spending money on her. 100% gets princess treatment regardless.

Socials:

part one || part 1.5 || part two || part three

[crosbyism]

'it's not gay if it's Gretzky' 'first overall orgasm'

stoooooop I'm pissing myself laughing 😭😭😭

I would read it 💀

i need biz to be the most toxic man about having gay sex (while having gay sex) so bad. he would absolutely nut just from the CONCEPT of gretz putting the tip in

([podcast biz voice]: so you’re saying— wait. you’re saying ya wouldn’t let gretz put the tip in? if he asks— no i’m just sayin’— if he asks, you’re tellin’ him no? that’s WAYNE right there ya know! he’s the man! [whit, offscreen: yeah, i’m saying no, i don’t want a dick in my ass dude.] look i don’t give a shit if you’ve only slammed the hottest pussy in your life, you’re gonna let that man in when he comes knockin’, y’know. ain’t no one sayin’ no to that. [whit: i don’t know bout that biz] ‘ey besides. how many people can say they’ve had wayne gretzky’s dick in their ass, huh? who knows if he even does that with his wife. you don’t know. you might be the only person who’s ever had wayne gretzky’s dick in their ass)

anyway wayne has number one leading regretzkys about the whole hookup, especially because afterward biz somehow becomes MORE adoring and clingy and annoying in public, not less. which is :/. awkward for wayne. as the orgasm was about mid-tier and the rest of the experience was abysmal. it’s the only time in his life he’s ever had to pull out all the stops to make himself come faster so the whole experience could be over bc biz is terrible to have sex with if you’re a guy. outrageous internalised homophobia. (he’s also terrible to have sex with if you’re a woman but for entirely different reasons.) wayne had to fantasize about the green line for a hot minute there

also— someone tagged that post as gretznasty and like. truly ship name of all time, that’s exactly how biz sees it

(biz: i’m about to get gretznasty heeeey haha [smacks the back of his hand against wayne’s chest in a bro way while they’re walking up to the room]

wayne: :/ (is this is a mistake? hmm i’ll give it a shot)

wayne 15 mins later dick-deep in biz’s ass: (this was a mistake.))

[scamallach-1]

When fellow “US” settlers tell each other that they wanna learn about indigenous decolonial land back here on this land but then spend time making an issue about their time, saying they don’t really have time to educate themselves, my autistic ass is at a loss. Cus I’m stumped. You say you want to learn and then when provided with resources your regular response is that you don’t have time? I see it constantly, this excuse. In comment sections when people ask questions and then claim they don’t have time to read the answer; in my own circle when my fellows blab about things they don’t know and then when presented with correct answers and sources, they get quiet and say they just haven’t had time to look into it (yet that doesn’t quiet their mouths on shit they don’t know). We settlers need to ask ourselves right now what we are willing to change for the greater good. If you make a bed from selfishness then expect to sleep in it, I think.

I can’t make other people work decolonial edu into their schedules, I can only send them the resources directly from where I myself am learning about decolonization: the First Nations educators and historians and scholars and Black New Afrikan educators, historians and scholars. If you want to learn about this stuff - and you must - I think it does require making the sacrifices in your daily life necessary for you to be able to do that. Settler-colonialism has us in a chokehold so we need to be more than what it ‘allows’ in order to unlearn it!

I don’t know what other settlers want me to say? Do they want me to be wishy-washy with them about it? Say that whole “if you have time, please consider, sometime…” No, i am not gonna say that because I believe that is bullshit and nothing will get done with that passive attitude.

I do think we working class/poverty class/disabled settlers need to help each other be able to prioritize this education NOW. The indigenous and Black educators we learn from also have jobs, also have children they need to care for, have personal responsibilities and important things to do - and have active genocides against their people. They believe full-heartedly in working toward decolonial land back because of course they do. This is their lives, and not just individual by individual. They’re working for their people’s liberation in the face of settler-colonial genocides!

And so when we look at our work and school and family schedules - as settlers, no different in status than the “Israeli” settler occupying Palestine - and we prioritize our own overwhelm when we are asked to make the fucking space and take the fucking time for this imperative education, so we can be ready accomplices to decolonial action in the coming years, you gotta know how fucked up that is. We should no longer snap into this typical self-serving behavior!

No, I’m not going to say anything less than what I believe is factual, based on the edu ive so far learned from the indigenous and Black liberationists who are telling us, with their radical perspective and wisdom, what we need to do and how we should go about it, even as potential settler accomplices. Prioritize decolonial edu. Make fucking room.

We settlers should all help each other to accomplish this. Plenty of settlers like me with learning disabilities are out there trying to encourage others and make it easier for people to read the histories and theories. People break this information down for you so you can learn it in different ways (audiobook recordings, forum discussions, infographics that take a couple min to read, key histories in “less than 6 minutes”, YouTube interviews and discussions, podcast discussions, free book banks with PDFs, free articles). We have different ways of learning and in different stretches of time available - I really think what matters is that you work to get it done regardless of daily constraint. Show some solidarity. Working class settlers are not the center of the oppressed under settler-colonialism. We are the settler-colonialism. We must actually work to dismantle it by following FN leadership.

The idea that anything liberating and meaningful just falls into someone’s hands is a white supremacist lie.

What I wish is that in my circle at least, fellow settlers would say “I want to learn this but it’s hard and I need help, will you help me?” — to which I would do all I can in order to ensure they can learn. I have more time than others do because I work only part time due to my disability - but that is time I have to give to discuss, share, read-to others (I have dyslexia but I will fucking READ TO YOU because I know how hard it can be!) The point here is, if you begin your edu, you won’t be alone. Reach for support to make it happen and there will be people who will take the endeavor seriously with you.

But you have to be committed to learning this going forward. You have to actually want to begin learning about decolonial land back.

[fandomofhappiness]

So, I know it’s kind of nerdy for My Hero Academia to make this research but I’m being very curious about UA Teaching Staff. According to translations of class 1-A school schedule (made by aitaikimochi) we have at least 7 lessons of English at one studying week (6 days) for only one class.

So, if we consider Yamada Hizashi aka Present Mic working as an only teacher for only HERO COURSE which are 6 classes with 120 students (more or less depending on how many students Aizawa or other teacher expelled) with DIFFERENT types of difficulty (English and English 1), and plus, we assume that he teaches all 6 classes for 7 lessons a week, it means 42 lessons at week. The lessons long for 50 minutes (50 mins x 7 lessons = 350 mins or ~5,8 hours a day). It results that he works for 35 hours per week. But okey, teachers need to have lunch, so he takes a 50 mins to eat. But do not forget hours to check students’ works, mark them, write reports on all his students, add out-of-school schoolwork and etc. Approximately, he works for 38-40 hours at week. That all means he practically lives at UA for 6 days.

The question is how he works at Radio Station at Friday (if he works there only at Friday!) and patrolling as limelight hero, having interviews, podcasts and other media activities?

All these calculations cover his job as an ONLY and ONLY English teacher for ONLY Hero Course. He physically cannot work as English teacher for other Courses.

So it means we have a LOT more staff at UA. And if we assume that we need like 4 teachers (1 for each course), it still too much because Hizashi teaches for only 6 classes, and there like 9 classes each other Course (and it’s like 53 hours per week) — it’s fucking impossible. So we need at least 6 teachers only to teach ENGLISH. Did you count Mathematics? It’s 8 classes for class 1-A on week. And I don’t think that Ectoplasm really teaches that much. And do not forget about Homeroom teachers (we need 33 Homeroom teachers, but ok they are working as subject teachers too).

So let’s count together how many teachers are actually working at UA. And do not forget to add teacher’s assistants. It’s so crazy.

(There’s no way UA is a private school without any government help, because school would go broke only on teachers :D )

[earnestattempts]

I started a story podcast! The first series is about people at high risk for covid-19, and what their (well, our) lives are like. Trying to capture beauty and meaning in lives often ignored! Transcripts provided for every episode. Check it out here.

Ep 1: MIRA - Mira is someone very accustomed to navigating the world with chronic pain and fatigue. From all appearances, she should be able to handle what the pandemic brings to her life. But she finds herself unprepared for the way the people around her changed. 23 mins. Ep 2: GREG - Greg and Kay live in a queer little bubble in the first years of the covid-19 pandemic. But when Kay's egg cracks, Greg is filled with mixed feelings. How does this change his identity as a gay man? And are his health needs holding her back? 21 mins. Ep 3: RUSS - Russ remembers his childhood of chronic illness and shame, as he watches his kids becoming more and more separated from their peers. As the world starts returning to the classroom, Russ and his wife Neive try to figure out what their family's future is going to look like. 23 mins. Ep 4: CORY - A brush with death made Cory committed to living her life to the fullest. But repeated covid-19 infections start to take that away from her. How could this happen to a seemingly healthy person like her? 19 mins. Ep 5: SIMON - This isn't the way retirement is supposed to go. After the loss of his wife, Simon has to process the life he'll never have. And now he has a sudden new roommate, a younger disabled relative who moved in to help out. Can they learn to adapt to the world together as covid-19 rapidly changes it? 26 mins.

[ghostflowerdreams]

Audio Drama Recommendations, Pt. III

Click here for part one and here for part two. Recently, I've been drawing a lot, which gives me plenty of time to listen to audio dramas and podcasts. These are the ones I liked the most and found entertaining enough to recommend to others. This is not in any particular order, either.

The Green Horizon – is a sci-fi comedy drama created and written by Paul Walsh. It is sponsored by Faustian Nonsense, an indie entertainment network. It currently has three seasons, with each episode being about 20 - 30 minutes long, but later on it increases to 30 - 40 minutes. A fourth season is said to be coming out soon as well.

It is set in the year 2261, and it focuses on a ne'er-do-well Irish space captain and his rag-tag crew, as they traverse a war-torn Galaxy in search of fame and fortune. [ONGOING]

It was a little chaotic and rough at the beginning, but it does smooth out and become more polished. I can definitely tell that they up their game with the improved sound effects and production quality. The voice actors and the writing for the audio drama does an excellent job at bringing their characters to life, which made it very fun to follow along.

If you like Firefly, Red Dwarf, Orville, Cowboy Bepop, and so on then I think you may enjoy this too.

DERELICT – is a sci-fi narrative audio drama from award-winning science fiction author J. Barton Mitchell, and produced by Night Rocket Productions. It currently has one season titled FATHOM, which consist of 10 episodes with each one ranging from 40 mins to an hour, mostly the latter.

Something has been found at the bottom of Earth's ocean. An ancient artifact that can only be described as a giant door, inset into the sea floor. It becomes known as the Vault. A gigantic enigma, buried and forgotten...nineteen thousand feet down.

To study the artifact, the galaxy's most powerful corporation, Maas-Dorian, has built a massive, self-contained, secret laboratory base surrounding it, named FATHOM. It's objective: unlock the secrets of the artifact and discover what it holds.​ But some mysteries should remain buried. And some doors should never be opened... [ONGOING]

DERELICT started as the first project set up as a kickstarter. They produced one episode to entice backers, but then the pandemic happened, and they didn’t raise enough money for the rest of it. Instead, they worked on a prequel season called FATHOM. It's where the story really starts, and I highly suggest you listen to it before listening to "DERELICT E1 - Through the Gate."

I hope they redo the DERELICT's first episode because there's a bit of disconnection from it and FATHOM. For example, Sarah and Agent Blayne already know each other. She mentions it to the others, but the conversation they have with each other doesn’t make it seem that way.

Never mind. I apparently confused this Sarah with the Sarah in FATHOM. Can't blame me for thinking that when I heard the name Sarah and that she was already familiar with Agent Blayne.

Deviser – is a sci-fi horror audio drama created, directed, acted and produced by Harlan Guthrie. The same creator of Malevolent. It's a 7-part limited series, with each episode being about 20 mins long.

Son wakes up aboard a spaceship bound for earth in an effort to recolonize. What he discovers, however, will change everything he knows about his world and himself. [COMPLETED]

It's not for everyone, so please do not ignore the content warnings because there's graphic description of violence, self harm, body horror, gore, animal death/being hurt, and what not.

Victoriocity – is a detective comedy audio drama written by Chris and Jen Sugden, directed by Nathan Peter Grassi and produced by Dominic Hargreaves. It is an entirely independent production. It has two seasons, containing 13 episodes in total, and each one is about 30 to 45 minutes long. There's also a feature-length special and a up-coming third season with the help of a kickstarter.

It is 1887 in Even Greater London, an alternate steampunk Victorian London, where Queen Victoria reigns even after being assassinated eleven times, thanks to the wonders of modern science.

In this vast metropolis, Inspector Archibald Fleet and journalist Clara Entwhistle investigate a murder, only to find themselves at the centre of a conspiracy of impossible proportions. [ONGOING]

It's put together so well, and I see why people say it gives off strong Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett vibes to it. So if you like their works, then I wouldn't be surprised to hear that you like this too.

Impact Winter – is an apocalyptic vampire audio drama created and written by Travis Beacham (Carnival Row, Pacific Rim). It has two seasons containing 22 episodes in total and each one is about 17 to 30 minutes long.

“They came after the impact and the firestorms. When the sun went dark. Like they’d been there all along. Just waiting.”

In the British countryside, a band of survivors forms a resistance in the fallout shelter of a medieval castle. Darcy is a battle-tested vampire hunter who is at the front line, leading the charge to save humanity. Meanwhile, her younger sister Hope wants life to return to normal so she can go above ground and know what it’s like to live again. And she just might be willing to risk it all. [ONGOING]

It has a stacked cast led by Holliday Grainger (Cinderella, Great Expectations), Esme Creed-Miles (Hanna, The Legend of Vox Machina), Liam Cunningham (Games of Thrones, Hunger), Himesh Patel (Station Eleven, Tenet), David Gyasi (Interstellar, Carnival Row), Caroline Ford (Carnival Row, Nekrotronic), Chloe Pirrie (Emma, Carnival Row), and Bella Ramsey (Games of Thrones, The Last of Us).

This reminded me a lot of the film 30 Days of Nights (2007) with a little bit of Reign of Fire (2002), which were both fun films to watch. I think if you like those two, especially the former, you'll enjoy this or at least be entertained by it.

A Voice From Darkness – is a scripted paranormal horror audio drama. It is written and produced by Jac Rhys. It currently has two seasons, containing 20 episodes in total and each one is about 20 to 30 minutes long. It also has 7 bonus voicemail episodes and 15 Patreon exclusive episodes which are longer than the main episodes. A third season in the works as well.

Join parapsychologist and radio broadcaster Dr. Malcolm Ryder as he helps those who suffer the supernatural, paranormal or otherworldly problems on his call-in radio show. It is also interspersed with segments, one of which is called 'Today In Odd America' that delves into the origins of a holiday, local traditions, and history. [ONGOING]

If you like Welcome To Night Vale then I think you'll like this too. A Voice From Darkness is a bit more serious and not as long-drawn as Night Vale was, with a perfect mix of storytelling and lore. It also reminds me a bit of The Magnus Archive too.

How i Died – is a mystery audio drama that brings a "new twist on the true crime genre." It is an Audiohm Media original production, co-starring Vince Dajani as Jon Spacer and Shaina Waring as Sheriff Fran Crowley. It currently has three seasons with 39 episodes in total, not including bonus episodes. Each episode is usually about 20 mins, give or take a few minutes.

Bodies are piling up in the strange town of Springfield, and forensic pathologist Jonathan Spacer intends to find out why. But, Jon isn’t without his own secrets… He can talk to the dead, for starters. [ONGOING]

Ooo, a character that can speak to the dead? It's always so interesting to see what they'll do with their ability and where the creators take them. This has been entertaining, but at times I do think they can do better in developing their characters a bit more. For example, I can count on one hand the number of times Crowley doesn't get angry. Though to be fair, Jon isn't an immediately likable character, but that does change the further you go...sorta.

The Amelia Project – is a comedy fiction audio drama created, written, directed, produced and edited by Philip Thorne and Øystein Ulsberg Brager for Imploding Fictions and The Fable and Folly Network. It currently has four seasons, with a fifth one on the way. There's about 72 episodes, not including prologue, special, and BTS episodes which would up the total to 122. Each episode also varies in length from 20 to 45 minutes long.

The Amelia Project is a secret agency that fakes its clients' deaths, then lets them reappear with a brand-new identity. A black comedy full of secrets, twists... and cocoa. The series starts as a succession of interviews with clients who want to fake their deaths, then slowly a larger narrative begins to emerge... Each episode tells its own story, but we recommend starting with Season 1. [ONGOING]

It was fun to listen to while I was drawing or washing the dishes. I could also follow along without becoming too distracted by it, either. I was worried it would be one of those that take a while to get to the main overall story, but thankfully it did not. It will definitely keep you entertained and interested to know what will happen next.

Community Cat News – is a neighborhood news show done from the perspective of cats. There's currently 13 episodes so far and each one varies from 5 to 12 minutes long.

Local News: The human is opening the fridge! Will we get a taste?

Foreign Affairs: What are those squirrels up to now?

Traffic: WHY is the bathroom door shut again?

Every episode is sponsored by Meow Meow Puffytail, Feline Rights Attorney, who is ready to sue your human for even the slightest inconvenience. [ONGONG]

It's cute, light-hearted, and funny. I didn't expect to enjoy this as much as I did. It even uplifted my mood without me realizing I was feeling low.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

So far, Kidnap the series, is BL-ing in all the right ways. It's light fare, but that's exactly what it aims for, and its hitting near the bullseye every episode. Just because its light doesn't mean its bad. Consider this my plea to everyone--for the sake of romance, BLs, and Thai BLs in particular--to stop equating dramatic naturalism with 'good' art. Kidnap is silly, sweet, and such a throwback to classic BLs--it's already hit most of the BL tropes. More importantly, Kidnap understands a major 'why' of BLs and light fare, and the series, itself, is depicting that 'why': they can give an overwhelming sense of reparation for queer people's buried traumas.

On the podcast Boys Love Boys Love, hosts and gay married couple Adam and RJ have been recapping their first watch of ITSAY (which very much broke open many traditions of the BL genre) with guests. In all three recaps so far, the guests and hosts have detailed vividly how, despite feeling 'proud' of their sexuality, BL shows allowed them to revisit painful experiences of isolation and abandonment in adolescence that occurred because of homophobia and then re-imagine an adolescence in which they weren't constantly on guard but instead experienced genuine adult care, friendship, and uninhibited explorations of first love. BL shows and their happy endings help queer people process griefs we don't realize we've suppressed.

I see a parallel to this experience in Kidnap as Min aids Q in coping with his acute PTSD, especially in the play acting scenes. Q can safely engage with his past experience and gain a sense of control and compassion over what he couldn't manage originally. Because I'm a performance dork at heart, the context of Ohm, the 'king of BLs,' leading Leng, an entirely green actor, within the show and through the actual process of acting in BLs doubles down on the theme. With each clear-from-outer-space romance beat, the show promises that this is a safe place to be vulnerable.

In the latest episode (episode 5), the series even began to reveal plot-relevance to its BL levity. We've all joked about Min's incompetency with all the crime he's been drawn into. After the first episode, the people on the internet chucked it up to a cheesy show disinterested in researching and committing to the realities of crime, but then James walked in the next week and called him out on it all. It was just Min, not the show. His exuberant care and desperation to please has led him, unsurprisingly, into a web of deception with no way out.

Brother Mhen laid it flat out this week: just because Min takes care of him doesn't mean he doesn't also provide kinds of care for his brother. Min, like any human-being, has his own weaknesses and issues of self-worth, and Q, with his savvy and prerogative of self-preservation learned from his upbringing, is positioned perfectly to provide the care and encouragement Min needs. I don't think the show has invited this comparison as directly, but it does make me think about how we figure the lighter BL shows and people like Ohm, a particularly evocative representative for creators in the industry, who endure controversies and vitriol to bring their best attempts to lighten the burdens of audiences.

For all the intense feelings ITSAY or The Eight Sense or The On1y One produced in me, I can recognize that their 'cinematic' style, with its naturalistic performances and precise camera work, is still just a style. It's not inherently better than shows recorded on sound-stages with more theatrical performance styles, though many critics and scholars have trained us to think that way. I Love Lucy, The Golden Girls, and shows like them are undeniably celebrated series that have no interest in approaching cinematic style.

Stable cameras, broader characters, and more absurd situations allow for subversive problems to be broached and tackled (and laughed at) while maintaining audience comfort. The slapstick and screwball comedy is one of the things I've adored about Thai BLs, in particular. The audience can feel for but not with the characters. And, that healthy distance is not to be diminished. Comfort can be a vitally important aesthetic experience, and the rules for judging genres that prioritize it are very different than those used for judging prestige tv and *poetic cinema.*

Too much realism would be detrimental to an action rom-com like Kidnap because the audience would no longer feel safe to laugh and coo about these characters in their situation. Although GMMTV is leaning more into its cinematography for BLs recently with this series and The Trainee (maybe toss Moonlight Chicken in there), I personally appreciate how they've maintained the genre's unpretentious sentimental tone, even as they've allowed creators to expand the breadth of the genre and address its problems. That tonal lightness allows us, in Kidnap, to safely dive into PTSD and perhaps our own experiences as queer adolescents with parents who left us unseen as we suffered alone; we trust the show will leave us and the characters resolved in the end.

But I don't want to mistake that kind of depth as the main point of BLs. Those are the undercurrents but we're meant to have fun here. You don't pull-up Miss Congeniality on your TV to understand the human condition. We like these characters, feel safe to open up our hearts, and trust, even as threats of death loom, queer love will conquer all.

[adviceformefromme]

How to let go of what does not serve you? What does that exactly mean/entail? Like, overthinking, arguing, perfectionism, fears? I don’t understand how to “let go”

Hey sweetie, so the thing is it's difficult to read the label when you're in the bottle so having people you trust that have wisdom and understand you is going to help you see situations better and also guide you. More often than not, we don't have those people in our lives. if that's the case, embarking on a self-growth journey is going to be your best bet. Reading books, listening to podcasts, journalling, meditating, doing exercise. These are all accessible to you. They sound simple but are very transformative. Going to the gym or for a 20 min jog for example is a great way to clear your mind and take a break from overthinking. Journalling daily writing down everything that is coming up is such a powerful tool for understanding yourself. So here's my advice for this week:

Commit to listening to one podcast episode on a long walk. Research podcasts in the area you are focusing on, maybe its fear in relationships, perfectionism and find a podcast that resonates with you.

Read the Secret by Rhonda Bryne, this will help alot with a positive perspective on the world. If you've read it before, read it again. There are free copies swirling on the internet.

Commit to doing exercise once this coming week if you don't have a practise already. This is one jog - even if its down the road and back, or one yoga class.

Meditate once. Go find something that resonates on youtube, a guided meditation. Or sit in silence for 5 mins using a clock or the timer on your phone.

Journal once this week writing minimum 3 pages.

These are simple introductions to inviting self-development and self-care into your weekly routine. Once you start doing the above, I promise there will be shifts, but start small. Just one of each of the above within one week. You will start to notice a difference, I hope this helps. xo

[astroyongie]

Astroyongie Podcast EP3 S1

Note: Please take I slightly. Thank you @kattyaskat for the notes <3

What happened between min heejin & hybe ent?

ADORE CEO and HYBE CEO were very closed. worked together for a long time. exclusive contracts. they both have a lot of shit on each other, but ADORE CEO the most. someone from outside offered something she wanted and she turned her back on HYBE CEO

Do idols ever regret not debuting in other groups? For example does Heesung of Enhypen wish he would've debuted in TXT?

not really since its not up to them to decide where they will be debuting. No Hesseung is happy in TXT

Can you spill the tea on X whole bullying situation with group? Also was there division because of the leader choice?

complicated so take it lightly. the competition started before the group debuting since their were put one against each other. X was actually defending A during the debut period from B,C and D. Eventually X became the pick. At the moment this are better, C reflected a lot on his actions compared to B

how Heeseung enhypen currently love life going on? is he happy and still with the foreign girl in the last reading?

yes

What are LSS gonna do after receiving critique after their Coachella performance?

Sakura: Took things very personally and is kind of hurt about the things people said about her on internet and stuff. I personally believe Sakura thinks that she has the potential and talent and she doesn’t understand why the people are being so mean about her singing skills. I don’t think she believes she needs to work more on it. She believes she has the talent and people are being bitchy about it.

Chaewon: Mostly same like sakura. She’s getting to work on her skills. She’s trying to go more into practice and stuff and doesn’t want to make the same mistake that she did during Coachella. She feels embarrassed about what happened which is why she is putting much effort into

Kazuha: Doesn’t give a damn about what happened. Doesn’t care about what ppl say about her and her group.

Yunjin: She is pissed off with three things. 1. Pissed with Her friends because of talking shit about her. Like being very negative in the internet. 2. Pissed about her members for being low quality in a way she thinks they were the ones making the mistakes and errors during Coachella 3. Pissed with company for not providing them time to prepare to perform. At the moment she is not taking any actions, she is very bitter about the situation

Eunchae: It’s trying to work on herself as well. She is very ashamed about the performance that they gave and she is trying to work on her skills and didn’t want to make the mistake she made in Coachella, just like Chaewon.

Can you maybe do a love reading for Maki from &Team?

At the moment Maki is single. Not looking for love at the moment because of his career and idol lifestyle is not allowing to have someone by his side. He is very invested in career to be with anyone. So single and not open to love at the moment.

Is BK identity already reveal?

No. Only can be checked next month with my pendulum.

Who is Jackson Wang dating? Non idol?

I think so, most likely a non idol. Not sure if they are Chinese or foreigner.

What does Jackson Wang and BIBI think of each other?

Jackson: thinks BIBI is a bit non-lady like. She doesn’t fit the cute lady type. She very restless, has a lot of energy, very impulsive with get ideas and herself and the way she is. He feels she maybe too much for him in being girly. Not a bad vision of her but that she is just too much for him to handle.

BIBI: She thinks he is some one who is very dependable, a very nice idol who has talent and stuffs like that. Thinks he is rich, luxurious and has a good life. She admires him in a professional sense.

Which cards in tarot/spreads /combinations would suggests a connection from past life?

This is complicated cause it will depend on the question that you are making the spread about. If you are directly asking the cards if X and Y shared a past life, you have to look for cards that are very strong. eg. the 4oW,2oC, The star, The judgement, The world. The lovers could also be an indication. Or the 10oC,9oC,6oC.

Does horror movies/ scary movies can lower people vibrations?

This in interesting cause many people are afraid of watching these type of stuffs because they think it attracts those paranormal/ghost stuffs to them- No, that’s not how it works. It does not lower your vibrations. What lowers vibrations is your environment and your own feelings, thoughts. Environment with a lot of pressure, stress can lower your vibrations. However, music can vibrate with you- if you spend listening to sad songs like continuously, that will have an impact. You can listen to sad songs but only when listened to over time frequently, it might impact.

Is it better to have high or low vibration?

It’s best to have Neutral vibration. It’s like having the best of both worlds. Because when you are low vibration-be it because of your bad mental health or physical health, that’s when you are more sensitive to negative things, it’s easy for lower things/beings to be in contact with you. You are vulnerable that time. But also when you are high vibration, you become like a radio. Especially Spirits that are stuck in the veil, they might be able to connect with you. That’s why neutral is best.

So I was practicing 2 hours singing a ballad, will this impact me? I don’t practice everyday but when I practice it’s usually 2-4 hours. It’s not always the same ballade, but does this have an impact on my vibrations?

No . Since you are doing something you enjoy even if it is a sad song/ballad.

Does all human races have a soul?

Yes

Can people in one body have more than one soul?

I don’t believe so. It’s not possible. Although there's the theory that who suffers from DID are a physical body trapping several souls

Can animals have a soul as well?

Yes all animals have souls.

. How is sohee currently doing and how is his love life?

I think you said he is happily dating.

[writingsfromhome]

What are you Listening To?

Ask: Would you write something based off of Chris Stapleton’s song “what are you listening to?”.

A/N: this was painful to write, it is short and Sad. So read at your own risk

——————————————————

Ever since Harry and you broke up, he’s hated train rides. It was over an hour riding from central to the flat you two were renting in Northolt.

Harry remembers the day you two moved in; both of you were only 21, you’d given up being able to afford something decent any closer to London. He remembers even though you had been upset at first, it had taken one night there for you to reframe everything. He remembers you made a pact together: every train ride would be enjoyable.

That was y/n to him, always trying to add gratitude to any small moment.

And train rides had been more okay because of you. Harry would get playlists curated for him every week that were exactly 1 hour and 20 mins for his rides in, other times when you was working at the office the two of you would ride in together. If a stranger looked over at you they would see two people sharing a pair of headphone listening to music or a podcast about music together, or leaning into each other catching up on sleep after a late night together, or simply whispering to each other and laughing. You two never ran out of things to laugh about.

Now, 6 years later, Harry rode on the train for the hour and a bit all alone and he hated every minute because all he thought about was you. All he could remember was you. And it was a torturous ride that ended in an empty flat.

Tonight Harry cracks open a beer as soon as he gets in, unbuttons his stuffy dress shirt and flops down onto his couch. You two had bought the couch together a few years ago after finally throwing out the ratty one you had grown attached to. This new couch had been a symbol of doing better, both of your careers were going well and you finally had money for nicer things.

Although neither of you were ever able to shake off this flat. The long train rides in became a sacred ritual, the flat became home. All your friends used to make fun but it never bothered either of you because it was enough. It used to be enough.

Lately Harry’s felt depraved—ever since you left, he continued to torture himself with music.

Music used to mean everything to him, until he met you, then you replaced that. But music became a thing for both of you. The two of you used music as a way to enhance life—you both believed life imitated art and vice versa. You both agreed that music was the best art form to view the world through. It was always playing through the flat.

When you two weren’t on the train or in your Northolt flat, you were at music shows all over town. From the O2 to a small local pub, you loved supporting musicians and unlocking the secret stories and emotions that came with them. After every show Harry loved staying up with you and going over the highlights of the show; that’s where a lot of your train naps came in handy.

In another life, Harry used to tell you, he would be a musician. Both of you would travel the world and he’d play his sold out shows and you would get to travel. You never could travel as much as you wanted to.

I guess in another life, Harry thought with a pang, we’d still be together.

Tonight, Harry goes old school and puts a record on. When you two first split, Harry had hated looking at the shelf that used to be brimming with records. Because now its half-empty shelves were a reminder there was an empty space in this place he called home.

The vinyl spins round, and its familiar chords begin to play into the drafty flat. Harry sinks into the couch. Into his misery.

You were in every line that played; he almost sees you standing over the couch smiling down at him, encouraging him to get up and dance with you.

He would sweep you across the floor, you would giggle about what the neighbours downstairs heard. You would sing, he remembers. And he would join in, holding you close. Cheek to cheek. The two of you had become a single living organism. Now he was a soldier returning home with a phantom limb. It was the only explanation why he not only ached inside, but all around him too.

He reaches his hand out into the air, the dust motes twirl around his fingers, the only company he has these days.

Harry wonders if you were home right now, or on a train. Maybe you were still at the office working late, or meeting up with a friend for dinner. He wondered what you were listening to. Maybe one of those niche cover bands both of you’d heard in the small towns you’d visited across the country, or a sad song on the radio, maybe it was a busker on the train platform, or maybe it was something new. A song that had no history with Harry. Maybe, Harry thought, you were better adjusted. Not as depraved like him. Maybe it was a love song about someone new, someone who made you feel good again.

Harry felt mad thinking about where the two of you went wrong.

Right after the two of your broke up and he had to tell the people in his life, they’d all been shocked. Blindsided just like him. It was always Harry and y/n, y/n and Harry. They’d been one. Now it felt like someone was missing in any crowd Harry found himself in.

You’d always been in harmony, but sometime in the last few months of being together, Harry had unknowingly missed some notes. Your music had clashed, and no sheet music could set it right.

At least that’s what he had heard from you: there was no going back.

Harry curls in on himself. The ache fills him from the centre out.

He wondered if you thought about him as often as he thought about you. If you wondered like him, how a good thing goes bad. How can such an overabundance of love just vanish?

His mates kept telling him to move out. He could afford something closer to the city now, he had people nearby there. He didn’t have to be alone.

But Harry felt like he was still living in the final note of a song, it’s echo still reverberating throughout the room. Some might call it the ghost of the song. Harry called it hope. He had this crazy dream: maybe one day you would show up at the front door you both called home at one point. And you’d step into his arms. He’d realize the last few months had just been the diminuendo. Your songs were still playing. There were still new heights to scale.

The record comes to an end. Harry’s in the exact same position he’s been in the last couple months. Curled on his side in the sofa, bottles littering the coffee table, pillow soaked with tears, and pain lacing every bone and ligament without you here.

He’d give anything to know what you were listening to. One more song together. One last dance together. Even one last note together.

What are you listening to?

[timetravellingkitty]

hi!! I just found out about tumblr having an anti-hindutva tag and I shall be making myself comfortable here! just found your account like a few mins ago and if it’s ok, i wanted to ask some questions (you absolutely don't have to answer if you don't like any of them or even if you don't feel like answering :) ) (edit added, this ask got way too long lol. feel free to skip it! also, you're kinda super cool lol)

I'm Indian, currently outside India, and I've only started learning about the shitshow going on in my 'mahaan bharat' since November (specifically since finding out that we are Irahell's biggest weapons buyer). and the more I find out the more shocked and heartbroken I feel...

like this week i learnt about the immigration ban in US against Chinese women that existed a few decades ago, and the ongoing discrimination against Palestinians in Canadian immigration services... and both the times I was so disgusted and there was this subconscious feeling that India should never be like that. but then an hour ago I learnt about the 2019 CAA and wtf!?

another example being that currently we're seeing israhell's continuous bombing of heritage sites of great cultural and religious significance, that also held so many centuries old records and histories... and learning about how they are bulldozing over graveyards and exhuming them...

and then today I learnt about Akhonji Masjid and Gyanvapi Masjid and of course have known about Babri Masjid for a few weeks now...

and only learnt about Kashmir in november...

and I feel like my whole worldview has shifted from a previous foundation, except it's so drastic and I still don't have a new foundation...

I try to talk to members of my family about this but they're the Indian equivalent of the U.S. liberals, and every single time they'll tell me "whatever news you're hearing is propaganda written by Pakistan/China/U.S./Russia. trust me I have Muslim friends and they're very happy. you just don't know the situation cause you're not in India" and like it sometimes make me think maybe I'm the one losing my mind...

I even read some places about free Punjab and that confused the fuck out of me cause I'm Punjabi (who does not live in Punjab) and I don't have any clue what it's about... I asked my fam, but they just gave me a weird look and told me to stay away from anyone that mentions Khalistan😭💀

(this got way longer than I expected, so sorry) but would you have any recommendations for any blogs/articles/books/podcast resources or any personal recommendations for news publications that are reliable (finding God would probably be easier than finding such publications lmao) like I thought Al-Jazeera is super credible, but then read that they're super credible when it comes to Palestine, not when it's global...

like where tf do I go from here lol

hello nonnie! some news sites I'd recommend are newslaundry (they have a youtube channel too), the wire, scroll.in and newsclick. maktoob media is mostly focused on minority rights in india. hindutvawatch.org is about hindu fascist violence committed against minorities. I still think you should stick to al-jazeera at least when it comes to palestine (they have journalists on the ground there, shireen abu akleh was one of them)

this is a good introduction to anyone wanting to learn about hindutva, this and this are about how india is becoming increasingly unsafe for minorites and is undergoing a democratic backsliding. this and this are about the rss link to nazism

hostile homelands by azad essa is about india's historical relationship with israel and the parallels between hindutva and zionism. the brown history podcast has an episode about how india went from the first non-arab state to recognise palestine to its largest buyer of weapons, featuring azad essa (x). you can also read colonising kashmir by hafsa kanjwal about how india came to militarily occupy kashmir. if you want to learn more about kashmir there are the blogs kashmiraction.org and standwithkashmir (which is um. blocked in india. i wonder why)

i have not read khaki shorts and saffron flags yet but this one is about the history of the rss. i also suggest watching the documentaries ram ke naam and jai bhim, comrade which are about the hindutva mobilisation in the 1980s

for me free punjab is very ?? the indian government is beyond evil as they continue to spy on sikhs abroad (and ofc, the 1984 sikh genocide) but i don't think liberation will be achieved through a religious ethnostate. any state formed on the basis of religion will inevitably turn out to be a disaster. i do encourage you to read lost in history: 1984 reconstructed by gunisha kaur, which is about the human rights violations committed against sikhs during this time and why operation bluestar was in fact not about freeing sri harmandir sahib from "terrorists." all i can say is to stand with sikhs unapologetically as our shitass government continues to commit more and more human rights violations against them

in general, i'd tell you to observe the language used by different news outlets and question it (eg. american news referring to israelis below the age of 18 as children but the same courtesy is not extended to palestinians) and check their sources. if it's from whatsapp university don't even bother