#AND VINCE THOUGHT THAT WAS HIS MISSING INGREDIENT

[thefailedabortioon]

aaa kind of an unusual post from me since ik i usually post st content BUT GOD. THE CHOKEHOLD THIS GAME HAS ON ME. I JUST. love them so MUCH. >.<

[limonjarritos]

VINCE IS SO DOWN BAD FOR RODY OH MY GOD??? LITERALLY KILLS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND TO MAKE HIM HAPPY???? THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN A WEEK??????

LITERALLY LIKE- MY MAN FELL HARD AND INSANELY. LIKE WHO DOES THAT? I wouldn't have it any other way. Just the way that as soon as Rody came into his life he was like 'I need this man to be so whole-y mine.'

When I was playing the game my pet theory was that he fell for Rody's brand of love, for how he loved Manon (he did say that he spoke of Manon when they first met) and Rody's personality.

(read more because I am so annoying about this game vv)

Something something, how Rody loves so intensely to the detriment of himself (Manon told him to stop giving, to for once in his life realise that he needed to take care of him self and be stable. He can't just account for the other person's needs <- barely know her but I get why Rody was head over heels). How Rody's love is similar to his cooking, burning, burning himself, burning and oh so overwhelming. And I do think Vince wanted the feel of that burn for himself, wanted to feel the warmth and devotion of which he had been so devoid of. To understand what it was he was lacking. How love and cooking go hand in hand in the story, how Vince's dishes were devoid of love, how he can't taste. How Rody's love surely would be strong enough, would be the missing ingredient to allow him to finally taste something. (Also lack of taste going hand in hand with what looks like depression of some sort, or perhaps just apathy for life. How bland his own life may be. How such a love, such a person could perhaps bring some taste to his life.) Vince seems to have killed Manon as a form of trying to show Rody a similar type of love. Giving him something, giving him a meal made out of Rody's own love. A gift since he couldn't give his own brand of love in a way that matters, couldn't give it without showing his own brand of devotion. I do think he 100% had an underlying jealousy and hatred of Manon, how Rody was still stuck up on her. How she never once mentioned Rody when her and Vince dated (though outside of Vince's pov I'm pretty sure Manon was just doing the healthy normal thing by not mentioning an ex?? but Vince is soooo gone) which is obviously a sin (he doesn't seem to take kindly to people who are mean to Rody. Such as the article and Rody's old college classmate) and proof she wasn't deserving enough of Rody's love. But alas she was still a gift and show of love to Rody.

On the personality topic (thought I forgot about that did you?), Rody is such a brash and kind person. A perfect foil for Vincent's more stoic nature. Rody willing to try and befriend Vincent, running into the kitchen to talk to him. He showed a bit of said love to Vince by trying to befriend him and how could Vince not want more? (why wouldn't Vince try to reciprocate in his own way. Make him happy) I mean he seems pretty feared by his cooks, and the people at the party have mentioned that Vince is pretty ruthless, not at all a person many wish to get to know. But Rody is willing to, yet Vince wants his undivided attention...

Okay wow this has gone on way too long uhh I'm 100% open to further discussion especially if I forgot something! And I haven't really looked too much into the game past playing it, so any reveals the creator may have given I'm mostly unaware of and would love to be informed of more!

Anyways tiny Vincent attack!

[vampiremillk]

ROWDY 'N' RUFF !

JONESY SINCLAIR HEADCANONS

BOO'S NOTE .ᐟ . . . just some cute and silly scenarios that ramble in my head all day long about the babygirl, jonesy ! i'm from louisiana myself and really enjoyed slipping some state traits into these ! ( also, i TOTALLY got my title from the powerpuff girls lmao ! the rowdyruff boys always reminded me of the sinclair bros a little bit so i thought it was something clever to do 😭 )

• y’know what they say: a dog truly is a man’s best friend. the loyalty she has for the triple trouble sinclairs is unbreakable, and such a quote is especially devoted towards vincent. he discovered her hours after her previous owners had thrown her aside to stray the streets and swampish woodlands of southern louisiana when evacuating for one of few hurricanes that would occasionally and annually hit the area. there was no longer any room for her to fit inside the truck when they pulled off and left her to fend for herself, but vince, however, had more than enough room inside his.

• ever since, she’s been both a joy and a handful.

• vincent likes to awaken during sunrise and begin his laborious daybreak with his sculptures, leaving jonesy to rest until she was ready to get up herself. everyone else in the house, though, lounged about until afternoon came around, and even then, vince would still be occupied within the basement. there are times when she will softly push open bo’s bedroom door with her paw, climb atop his mattress and bark almost nonstop in order to wake him up, demanding she go out for her daily walk. whenever bo is lazy or unresponsive, which 9 times out of 10, he is, she’ll always go to lester instead, who generally gives her the answer “yes” to just about anything. bo often scolds lester for being the main one to spoil her so much, but she was just so sweet, he couldn't help it.

• walking her isn't the easiest thing in the world, either. lester can never control the sheer amount of excitement she receives from being outside as soon as she begins tugging against the leash. she takes him for a walk instead.

• if vincent has been down in the basement all day, once he finally exits, he receives a sudden and loving greeting that involves jonesy tackling him right to the ground.

• drools. a lot.

• bo has stepped in her waste before, thankfully not barefoot. vincent and lester were gifted an endless earful that day. he didn't even realize that he did so at first, waltzing from downstairs and into the kitchen, but a vivid stench causes his nose to scrunch and his head to swivel only to view the several patches of light brown ooze that were smeared upon the floor in a footstep pattern. bo closed his eyes and fed his lungs a deep intake of breath, preparing himself for a terrible realization. slowly looking down after raising his left ankle and flipping his shoe to look at the bottom, sure enough, he was, quite literally, in some deep shit. "oh you motherfuckers are in for it now! who the hell forgot t'take the damn dog outside?! i bet'cha she pissed somewhere in the house, too!"

• when lester began to prepare a fried shrimp po’ boy, everytime he took his eyes off of his plate to grab a different ingredient, miss mischievous little jonesy used every moment to quickly snag something from it before the roadkill boy turned back around. it took lester several minutes to begin noticing that multiple parts of his sandwich went missing. he scratched his head, brows knitted together by a thick thread of confusion, “i could’a sworn i added my tomat’as already..”

• she loves visitors, specifically when it's other relatives of the family that come around. the sinclair brothers have a few cousins that live in mississippi, those of who will occasionally travel to stop by just to say hello, and they definitely get a much-too-happy hello from her in return.

• vincent can bring her all the chew toys and save all the dinner bones in the world, it doesn't matter. she will still go out of her way to sink her teeth into a nearby pair of boots. whether they belonged to bo, vincent himself or lester, there will always be that one shoe lying around the house littered in holes and teeth markings.

• don’t let the puppy eyes and sugar-charmed jowls have you all the way fooled. she is perfectly capable of being just as vexatious with how the boys will sometimes resort to utilizing her houndly abilities to sniff out runaway victims and howl loud enough to unveil their hiding positions if she happens to come across such. bo is often one of the three culprits to bring her alongside him during his human hunts, rewarding her with a brief series of pats atop the head after she successfully tracks one of them down. “atta fuckin’ girl.”

• trained to do so by vincent, whenever he lets her stay down inside the basement with him, she’s able to clearly recognize certain hand signals conjured by the slow curve of his fingers, and she’ll quickly go and fetch whatever utensil he needs to finalize his work. it’ll be polished in a glossy glaze of mutt slobber, of course, but he simply wipes it off on his apron before putting it to use.

• “what the hell’re you doin’, man? you can't give ‘er that!” lester watches with pure worry as bo pours a can of beer into jonesy’s bowl, which she immediately begins lapping up as if it were the greatest thing she’s ever tasted. little does lester know, it wasn't the first time.

• she loves going on truck rides with all three of her fatherly figures. with bo, she always sat inside the passenger's seat, sticking her head out the window. with lester, she got the thrilling privilege of settling on top of his truck’s trunk bed. with vincent, it was the passenger’s side as well, but sometimes she'd get so excited by his presence that she’d jump right into his lap whilst he was managing the wheel, her body big enough to render him blind of the road in front of him. she’d never move out of the way afterwards, so he'd be forced to adjust his once comfortable position to something completely awkward just to satisfy her position instead. the things people do for love, huh?

• “jonesy, c’mere! you did this, didn’t'cha? ya’ little slut.” bo pointed towards a destroyed couch, the stuffing covering the floors like a blanket of snow. jonesy knows instantly when bo’s voice turns stern that he’s in no mood to play around. she’ll put on a look of guilt and submissively put her head down, confessing to her own deeds, but the puppy-dog eyes work on everyone else but him. “naw, don’t gimme that look. you knew you were gonna be sorry before ya’ even started.”

• lester and jonesy once shared an ice cream cone. no, it wasn’t him putting some into a cup for her to have, but him holding the cone up to her greedy snout and letting her get a few licks in before he took a few licks himself. it wasn't too surprising, considering lester was also the one who would sometimes let jonesy lick a plate clean after dinner just so he didn’t have to wash it afterwards.

©️ VAMPIREMILLK . do not plagiarize, distribute to other sites or translate any of my work without my permission .

[elvenbeard]

I love the mental image of Vince and Kerry cooking, alone or together, cause...

Vince, who started his cooking adventures with a skill level only marginally better than the person from the "how do I cook instant ramen video" and Kerry, who is a decent cook actually, but chooses not to because he usually gets bored or distracted halfway through it and while it doesn't usually end in disaster, he's always his own biggest critic and disappointed with the end result.

So the times when it actually all turns out nice are rare and special xD Like, Vince trying himself at a Filipino dish, cause he know Kerry misses the food, but has to substitute half the ingredients cause you can't get your hands on them in NC. And it turns out okay, but not nearly as nice or authentic as he'd wanted it to, but Kerry loves it regardless cause it's the thought that counts.

Or Kerry surprising Vince with something unexpected, like, an extravagant breakfast in bed, or homemade sushi, whenever he's going through a lot of work stress does wonders to his mood.

But if all else fails... takeout is fine xD

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse -  A dinner and a show

Prompt: any | any | competition

Word Count: 2,460

Author/Team: LadyMonotone

Fandom/Original: Redacted ASMR (Vincent Solaire/Lovely)

Rating: T

Triggers: Explicit implications

Summary: It's a tradition within the Solaire Clan that the King would visit his progenies from time to time. Tonight, Will is coming over to Vincent & Lovely's apartment for dinner. What's not a tradition is the karaoke competition that comes afterwards. 

ConCrit: Y

I don’t know what happened. This oneshot just went out of my control but I had so much fun writing it today! I hope you guys enjoyed it! 

Also, I just realised that all the characters in my oneshots have been eating lately. Oh my god, I got so hungry when I was writing them that I subconsciously includes food in some of the scenes 😭 Food is my love language so I guess it’s cute that the bois and their lovers would sit down and eat together. 

That being said, I hope you guys will crave Korean food as much as I am in this oneshot! 😅

-

“Vincent? I need your help. Can you tell me what’s Will's favourite colours?”

“Lovely - ”

“Because I have some formal outfits in our closet, but they don’t mean shit if Will hate the colours.”

“Lovely, hang on - ”

“Is he allergic to perfumes? Colognes? I have some soft-scented bottles that should be Vampire-friendly! I think? Most of them are floral though… oh! Does he have a favourite flower? Do you think I should buy some before he comes over?”

“What? No, Lovely, I think you’re working yourself up - ”

“I know you bought some blood bags for dinner but do you think we should cook some food too? Does Will like to eat? Shit, I knew I should have bought some groceries yesterday after class!”

“You’re not listening to me at all, Lovely…”

“We have to clean up the whole place too. I don’t know how our furniture gets so dusty so quickly! I just wiped them down a few days ago!”

“...”

“Do you think I should do my hair too? It’s a bit of a mess lately; I could use a trim. Does Will - ”

Lovely's eyes widen as a deep kiss suddenly silences them. Their heart pounds when Vincent brings them close to his chest, trapping his lover in his arms. Lovely's eyes flutter close when he pulls away to press butterfly kisses on their neck. They couldn’t help it; they moan and tilt their head back when they feel fangs delicately drag down their tender skin.

“Vincent!” Lovely hisses, not sure for what, though, when Vincent's fangs pinprick where their pulse is.

“Oh? Are you finally with me again, Lovely?” Vincent breathes, loving how their heart begins to beat faster and faster in anticipation. His chest reverberates when he chuckles deeply. “There we go… I have your attention again, little one.”

They grumbled at the unfairness of it all. Just as Lovely knew all of Vincent’s weaknesses and tickle spots, he knew how weak their knees behaved when he pressed his fangs to any parts of his partner's body. Especially down south.

“I’m serious here, Vince.” Lovely whines. “There are so many things we have to do before Will comes over for dinner tonight. I want to make sure everything’s perfect.”

Vincent gives Lovely a deadpan look. They would’ve coo at how adorable he looks if it weren’t for his Vampiric speed and his habit of chucking them onto the bed whenever Lovely is being too stubborn to listen to reason. “Lovely? A question: are you dating my Sire or me?”  

Lovely blinks; they didn’t expect that. “Uh, you, duh.”

“Then trust me, as your boyfriend,” Lovely has no idea why Vincent emphasised that last word, but they knew better than to interrupt him when he gets like this. “That everything’s going to be fine. Besides, I told you that while this might look like the whole ‘meeting the parent’ shtick, the relationship between a Sire and their Progeny is way more than that.” He patiently reminds them.

“Well yeah, but he means a lot to you.” Lovely points out. Now, why did Vincent look so surprised at that? “So that means he’s important to me too. That’s why this dinner has to be perfect.”

For a moment, Vincent said nothing. He just stares at them in wonderment.

Lovely let out a surprised squeak when Vincent suddenly crushed them in a hug. “How did I get so damn lucky with you, Lovely?” He murmurs, face buried on top of their head. “Sometimes I think that you’re… too amazing to be real.”

So soft and sweet; that’s Vincent. Lovely lets him cuddle them like his personal teddy bear until he's satisfied.

“Now, I need you to do something for me, Lovely. Do you think you can do it?”

Lovely raise an eyebrow. “Depends on what it is, Vince. I haven’t eaten anything yet, so I can only give you at least four hours in bed - ”

“N-Not that!” Vincent hurries to interject, a brilliant red blush runs across his cheeks despite him being a Vampire. He coughs once to get them on track, playfully glaring at Lovely for trying to distract him. “Geez, Lovely. It’s still way too early for… that. But we're definitely going to revisit that. Anyway, I need you to calm down for a second, OK? Will is a pretty chill guy and an open-minded Sire. He knows how much I love you, so you have nothing to worry about.” He gently assures them, rubbing calming motions up and down Lovely's back.

Lovely could feel their anxiety melts away. Just enough for them to finally breathe again ever since Vincent dropped the bomb that William Solaire will be coming over for dinner tonight.

Apparently, everyone in the Clan knows that the King would visit his Progenies at least once a month to check up on them. Just like how a parent would drop by their children's home for a visit, in Lovely's opinion.

“Ok. You win, baby.” Lovely sighs, loving how his rubbing eases the tense muscles. They arch their back like a pleased, spoiled cat when Vincent messages that spot below their shoulders. “Ooooh, yes, that’s the spot!”

Once Lovely's bones feel like they could melt at any time, they throw Vincent a grateful smile.

“Now, there’s the smile I’ve been missing the whole day!” Vincent teases. “C’mon Lovely, let’s plan for dinner before we take our nap. How do you feel about seafood?”

“Oh, I can go for some seafood. It’s been a while.”

“Spicy steamed crabs with scallops, battered pan-fry oysters and some chilled bowl of rice top with raw salmon and sea bass with slices of your favourite veggies? All Korean-style."

“Hell yes. I think we have all the ingredients for that. Wait. Err, can Will handle spicy food?”

"Uh... I have no idea. Maybe we should hold back on that spicy steamed crabs with scallops just in case."

Ever since the two started living together, Vincent really took a shine when it came to cooking and baking. The idea of providing for Lovely makes him ridiculously happy, and besides, him whipping up healthy and delicious food for them results in much richer and sweeter blood flowing within his lover for him to feed on so… win-win!

As the two of them traverse to the kitchen to start preparing the ingredients for dinner, Lovely slowly gain the confidence that their dinner tonight with Vincent's Sire will turn out alright.

And before both of them knew it, the sun had set.

After a fresh shower, the entire apartment is now spotless (to Lovely's standard), and dinner is served on the table, the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" Lovely announce just as Vincent finish putting down the plates. They smoothen out the creases on their clothes, roll their shoulders before taking a deep, calming breath and answer the door. Like a soldier marching towards the battlefield.

Seeing his partner's dramatic reaction, Vincent just shakes his head.

As soon as Lovely opens the door, William Solaire greets them. "Good evening. I hope I'm not too early. The evening traffic has been quite a hassle lately. I figured that even if I'm a bit early, I could help you and Vincent in the kitchen." Will explains. In his arms is a bouquet of white pear blossoms, yellow gladioluses and red tulips. When Lovely stares at them curiously, Will smiles knowingly. "Vincent informed me that you don't drink, so I decided that flowers would be the appropriate gift as oppose to a bottle of champagne."

"They're so pretty." Lovely reply, breathless when they receive the bouquet. "Thank you so much, Will! I'll put them in a vase now. Oh, and please come in." They graciously step aside to let Vincent's Sire in.

While Lovely is busy rummaging for a vase in the storeroom, Will and Vincent make small talks over at the dining table. Vincent passes the ancient Vampire a tall glass of blood which Will accept with gratitude.

"Hey, Will. How's it going?"

"I'm fine, Vincent. Thank you for asking." Will reply after dabbing the bloodstain on the corner of his lips. "The Clan is the same as usual; Our Newborn members have finally settled in nicely, much to Sam's relief. I plan to visit them next week."

Vincent tops up Will's empty glass before replying. "That's great to hear." He's about to say something else before a loud bang against the wall in the storeroom stops him. "Uh, Lovely? Is everything OK in there?" He calls out.

"It's fine, it's fine!" Lovely shouts back. "I found the perfect vase for the flowers!"

Vincent groans in exasperation. When Will throws him a confused expression, Vincent is compelled to explain. "Look, Will, Lovely has been freaking out about tonight's dinner the whole day. They think that if it turns out anything but perfect, you're going to be disappointed in them. So just... just play along, alright?"

Will chuckles; his heart warms at the thought that Lovely holds him in such high regard. What an adorable human. "Is that so? Very well then, I will play the perfect guest towards such kind hosts."

And true to his words, when Lovely joins them at the table after putting the vase full of flowers on the coffee table in the living room, Will waste no time in kicking his charm to the max. In between their meal, Will makes sure to compliment Lovely's outfit (which earned him a shy yet pleased blush from Lovely and a jealous kick at his shin from Vincent). He then comments that the spicy steamed seafood dish is his favourite, and when desserts are introduced, Will gently helps Lovely open up by asking about their interests and hobbies.

Will is pleasantly surprised to find one of the many common grounds they share: their love for analysing music.

"I find RM to be one of the most brilliant lyricists in this generation." Will states once his bowl of red bean shaved ice is empty. "His songs are undoubtedly impactful for the youths of today. Not to mention that I'm quite fond of his wordplays."

"You're into K-pop!?" Lovely ask, utterly gobsmacked. Their eyes are wide in shock.

Vincent snorts. "Alexis is a BTS fan. Somehow, she managed to convert Will too."

When Lovely turn to face Will once more, their expression frozen in disbelieve, he adds, "We're planning to catch their concert once the situation permits it."

Will's pop culture admission finally broke the ice. Lovely laughs in delight before launching themselves into an animated conversation about modern music with Will.

However, it wasn't long before their topic suddenly went off the rail when Vincent claimed that he's a better shower singer than Lovely.

"Oh please, Vince, I thought you were dying in the bathroom," Lovely interjects with a roll of their eyes. Vincent splutters at his partner's cruel remark, but Lovely presses on without mercy, much to Will's amusement. He resolutely keeps his mouth shut despite his growing grin slowly making its way up to his face. "Face it, you're tone-deaf. Being a Vampire doesn't magically make you a good singer."

"Those are some fighting words, Lovely. Can you back them up?"

"We can settle this tonight if you want. You and me; we can duke it out in a singing swag off with Will as the judge." Lovey declares with a smirk before they head into the living room. All revved up as if their previous anxiety over dinner had never happened.

"Oh my..."

Vincent turns to Will with a grateful nod. "Thanks for helping them relax. And hey, you don't have to stay if you have some other plans tonight, Will."

Will stares back at his Progeny with a faux, scandalous look on his face, complete with a hand on his chest. "Why, Vincent, where would I be anywhere but here? It's not every day that I get to see you humbled by your lover. Don't think I forget that you were once known as the Playboy of the Solaire Clan."

Shock looks good on Vincent's face. It's cute that he actually forgot how he was before Lovely walks into his life. Oh, Will is going to milk this for all its worth.

"Alright! The system is set up!" Lovely announce from near the TV with a microphone in their hand. "Will, come on! You need to help me prove that Vincent sings like a dying cat. Here, here!"

"Oi, oi! We haven't even started yet!" Vincent rebuke and flits over to grab the spare microphone. "You know what, Lovely? I'm so confident that I'll win this that I'll let you go first."

Lovely grins viciously and accepts his offer. Once Will makes himself comfortable on the couch and signals for them to begin, Lovely open their mouth,

Will couldn't stop smiling as Lovely sings their heart out, and Vincent makes his grand entrance after they're done (singing one of Will's favourite songs in hopes to sway his Sire to his side). Vincent and Lovely are having the time of their life, teasing one another as they sing. Will commits this night into one of his most cherished memories.

*"Dari apa yang aku perhatikan

Manusia mahu senang tapi tak semua mahu berkorban

Dari apa yang mereka katakan

Ada yang jawab jujur tapi selebihnya kuat beralasan..."

However, as the night grows long, Will doesn't have the heart to tell them that they both are horrible singers.

-

Tonight, it's Sam's turn. Will deliver three knocks on his door before Sam swings it open. He looks exhausted, unamused and seconds away from running out of the house.  

"Good evening, Sam."

"Good evening, William. Before you come in, can I ask why my Progenies insist on having a karaoke competition tonight? On the night where they knew you were coming?"

Will begins to smile widely. Both he and Sam could hear a heated argument between Frederick and Bright Eyes from the living room.

"No, you can't sing Bambi, Bright Eyes. I won't allow it! You're going to break the windows!"

"Oh my god, would you let me live, Freddy!?"

"We've been over this; you can't sing! Wait. What are you - put down that microphone - "

Music starts to play at maximum volume, and then,

Sam closed his eyes and sighed deeply and in resignation when Bright Eyes began to sing louder to drown out Frederick's shrieking.

**“Feel it like memalla itteon mam wiro

seumyeodeun danbi

dabi piryo eopji

Because you’re my favourite..."

"I don't know what had happened - and I honestly don't want to know - but I hope you're ready to deal with these two tonight."  

"Why, Sam, where would I be anywhere but here?"

-

These are the English translations & link to the songs that Lovely and Bright Eyes were singing: 

*“From what I can see

People want the good life, but are not willing to sacrifice

From what I hear

Some are honest but others are full of excuses...”

**“Feel it like timely rain that seeps into my dry heart

No other answer is needed

Because you’re my favorite...”

[niksixx]

Patience

~Part 2. Please read part 1 first~

Pairing: Axl Rose/Vince Neil x Female Reader 

A/N: Keep up those comments. It motivates me! 

*Picture is not mine; Found on Google. Creds to the owner*

Tag list: @littlemisscare-all @ginny-baker-sixx @metalheartofgold @madamsixx @curly-hudson @headlight-queen @julessworldd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At twenty-seven years old, you had finally managed to piece your life together. Although your small business was just beginning and wasn’t generating as much money as you would have liked, you were happy.

Baking was a hobby that you turned into a full time job. While the process could be long, you never found it tedious. Every measurement, every smell, every pastry decoration and design, was satisfying. And by the reviews from your customers, they were impressed by your craft. They say if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.

Just as you check the clock on the wall above the shop door, a loud growl sounds from your lower belly. Glancing down at your stomach, you shake your head and chuckle, grabbing your wallet and keys to lock up the store. It is a slow day, and usually you bring lunch to work, but closing the shop for an hour won’t hurt. You’d only had four customers since opening at nine.

As you walk down the strip, you glance at all the different shops that once started out at the bottom, smiling as hope fills your heart. Plenty of the stores started out as tiny businesses, now flourishing. There was never a doubt in your mind that your store, your pride and joy, would succeed.

The smell of pork fried rice hits your nostrils as you push open the doors to a nearby Chinese restaurant. Behind the counter you spot Lei, one of the first friends to welcome you to LA years ago.

Lei’s eyebrows crinkle. “I thought you were working today! How are you?”

“Well for one, I’m starving,” you say, patting your stomach. “And two, I am. I closed up for an hour just so I could come and see you!”

Lei rolls her eyes as she punches buttons on the register, already ringing up your order from memory. “Papa! I need an order of sweet and sour pork over white rice and a spring roll to go, please. You know what? Make that two spring rolls, it’s for Y/N!” Lei shouts, turning back with a sneaky grin. “Free of charge just because I love you.”

Tipping generously, you sit by a table and wait for your order. Lei’s family owns the restaurant, one of the most well known on the Strip. You frequent her business as she did with yours, always making sure to buy a slice of red velvet cake each week. A day ago, she’d put in an order for fifty cupcakes for her son’s ninth birthday party that weekend, which reminded you to check the cabinets at your home for all the proper ingredients.

A vibration rumbles in your purse and you retrieve your phone, holding it to your ear. You weren’t expecting a call.

“Hello?”

��I need another bottle of Jack.”

The sound of your boyfriend’s slurred voice had you frowning. On the other end of the line, Vince Neil sits in the recording studio, half empty bottle of whiskey in his lap while Tommy Lee aimlessly toys around with his drum set, cigarette hanging from his mouth.

“Hi, babe. Are you still in the studio?” Lei makes a gesture with a take out bag, and you give her a nod, rising to your feet while cradling the phone between your ear and shoulder.

“Yeah, Doc gave us a ten minute break so I figured I’d call you. Did you hear me? I need another bottle of Jack. I’m almost done with the one I took this morning.”

“Wait, what?” You ask, forehead creasing. The man was building up his tolerance day by day, slowly but surely killing his liver. “Vince, that was a brand new bottle. I just bought that yesterday.”

“And it’s almost finished,” Vince remarks, rolling his eyes. “Just pick up another bottle on your way home.”

“Vin, you need to watch,” You warn, shaking your head. The last thing you needed was your boyfriend spiraling out of control like his heroin addicted bandmate, Nikki Sixx.

“I’m fine, stop worrying. I don’t need you pissing me off before I get back in the studio,” he spits back. “Just get the bottle.”

Sighing, you mouth a thank you to Lei before heading toward the door. “You know, the word please goes a long way--.”

The phone crashes against the tile floor as you collide with the door, or something that feels just as hard. Blinking to clear the stars from your eyes, your breath hitches in the back of your throat, lips going dry. Long, shiny red hair is the first thing that catches your eyes, followed by a pair of thin pink lips that look downright sinful, and soft gray eyes that hold a familiar warmth in them. The figure stares back at you, equally as stunned, unflinching as his hand holds open the door.

When you find your voice, it’s weak, just like your knees. “Axl?”

“Hey sugar,” his mouth quirks, and you blink again, positive that you’re hallucinating. There’s no way your old best friend is staring at you right now. It can’t be real. “Long time no see, huh? I see you’re still clumsy as ever.”

A hand covers your mouth and for a split second, you’re overwhelmed with the urge to cry. It doesn’t stay, and is soon replaced by sheer amazement. “Oh my God!” You throw yourself into his arms, almost knocking him off balance. Axl beams, catching you in his embrace, squeezing you against his chest. “I thought I was dreaming!”

His laugh is light and airy as he sets you on the ground, readjusting the bandana that keeps his hair off his face. “How have you been?”

Any feelings of irritation brought on by the lack of customers in your store and your pushy, intoxicated boyfriend fly right out the window. “Well, I was having a pretty crappy day, but I think you just made it ten times better,” you say, shaking your head in astonishment, bending down to retrieve your phone. Vince yells on the other line, but you quickly hang up before stuffing it back in your purse.

You give him another look, and his smile captures your breath, holding it hostage. It’s him. It’s really him. “My gosh, look at you. You are definitely not an eighteen year old boy anymore, Axl Rose.”

You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he’d become. He was taller now, and had thinned out. Pale skin was littered in tattoos, giving him the edge he lacked in high school, from what you can remember. A face that was once hard and rigid, now gentle, just like his eyes.

“I’d hope not,” he says lightly, cocking his head to the side. His eyes trail over your body, slowly. “Twenty five has been good to me, and it appears twenty-seven has been kind to you.”

“I’ll say,” you breathe, drawn to his playful grin. The boy that never liked to show his teeth turned into a man that couldn’t stop smiling. “Are you stopping in for lunch?”

“I am,” he nods, noticing your take out bag. “Do you want to have lunch together? Are you busy?”

You shake your head quickly, eager to spend time with an old friend. “Nope! Slow day at work today, unfortunately. And besides, I’ll never be too busy to have lunch with you.”

~~~

A huge smile spreads across Axl’s face when you unlock the door to your bakery shop. The colors, the decorations, were all so inviting. Before bumping into you, he’d always pondered about what you were doing with your life. You’d turned yourself into a business owner, and as Axl glanced around the store, he felt a sense of pride wash over his bones. The woman he loved continued to amaze him.

“This is incredible, Y/N,” he says, nodding in approval, dragging his fingers over a metal chair situated at a circular pastel purple table. “So, how long did it take your indecisive ass to figure out what you wanted to do with your life?” He teases, fake pouting when you push his shoulder. After all these years, you were still so comfortable around each other. Maybe it would be easy to win your heart after all.

“Hey, I wanted to make sure that whatever I planned on doing for the rest of my life would make me happy,” you argue, setting your food down on the counter. Axl stands on the other side of the counter, aimlessly toying with his chopsticks.

“Are you?” He questions in a serious tone, waiting for your answer.

“Always,” you reply with a smile.

It doesn’t reach your eyes.

And Axl notices.

~~~

Hours pass by, with only a few customers straggling in and out of your shop. You’d only sold a few pastries, but you plastered on a smile to hide the pit of devastation that had formed in your heart. It’s five-thirty, and you’ll give it another half hour before you lock it up, hoping someone else would notice your shop and drop by.

“So, Guns N’ Roses, huh?” After spending hours discussing your new life in California, the conversation turns to Axl. You want to know everything about him, everything you’ve missed the last seven years. Everything you couldn’t be a part of.

He nods, taking a sip from his water bottle. “I still can’t believe we made it.”

“There’s five of you, right?”

He nods again. “Yes ma’am. I’d like you to meet them sometime when you’re not busy. They’d love you. Especially Steven, probably a little too much,” he winks, keeping the atmosphere light. “I’ll tell him to keep the flirting minimal, only because that’s my job.”

Cheeks warm, you gather your trash and head to the bin in the front of the store, avoiding Axl’s lingering gaze. He didn’t know. Of course he didn’t know. No one did. “I’d love to, but that’s probably not the best idea.”

“How come?”

Biting your lip, you lean your elbows on the glass counter, clasping your fingers together. “My um...my boyfriend...he’s not a big Guns N’ Roses fan. He won’t even let me listen to your music. Probably would kill me if I ever did.”

Axl’s heart sinks. Let you? What the fuck? “Who’s your boyfriend?”

It’s not the answer he wants to hear. In fact, Axl’s face hardens when the name comes out of your mouth. “Vince Neil. I’m sure you’ve heard of him,” you say with a wave of your hand. You weren’t in the mood to talk about your boyfriend, especially to your male best friend. Men didn’t like to talk about other men.

“Time out,” Axl says in annoyance. You want him to drop the conversation, but he presses on. “You’re dating Vince? You had your choice out of all those Mötley Crüe bastards, and you went with Vince? How--How did I not know about this?”

You shrug, biting the corner of your mouth. Cat’s out of the bag, might as well keep going. “No one does. I stay out of the spotlight. Vince has an image to keep up, you know? The player. The bad boy. It’s entertaining. A girlfriend ruins that. You’d think the label would want to contain him, but quite the opposite, actually.”

The floor sways beneath his feet as the words process in his head. If Axl knew anything about the pompous blonde asshole, then he knew you weren’t being treated right. “How long have you been together?”

You contemplate telling the truth, but if you didn’t, he’d pull it out of you. Sighing, you lean your forehead against your hands, mumbling, “Three years.”

His legs almost give out. Three years of hiding. Three years of pretending. Three years of wasted fucking time with a man that didn’t deserve you. Three years with his competition, his enemy.

“I knew you were in a band, Axl. Although I haven’t listened to any of your songs, I’ve heard your name on the radio, seen you at award ceremonies when I watched from home. And I...I wanted to reach out. I just didn’t know where to find you. Vince doesn’t even know that you and I grew up together. I’m too scared to tell him. It would just give him another reason to hate you.”

“And you don’t think you deserve better than that?” Axl asks, mouth twisting in anger. “Because I know you do.”

“Well…”

The door to the shop slams against the wall, and in stumbles a visibly inebriated Vince Neil. His blonde hair is stringy, matted against the side of his head, and the stench of alcohol fills your nostrils, lingering on his spiked leather vest. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels occupies one hand, while the keys to his car dangle in the other.

Eyes blazing, you step out from behind the counter. “Vince, what the hell? You drove here? Drunk?!” The evidence was in his hands, but you refused to believe your boyfriend could have done something so wild, so reckless.

“You...y-you didn’t come home with the...with the booze,” he slurs, throwing the empty  bottle in the trash bin. He trips forward, reaching out to steady himself on the purple table. “I was scared something ha-happened.”

“Something did happen, Vince! You could’ve killed someone!” You scream, tears blurring your vision as you fight back the urge to shake some sense into his body. How could he have been so careless? So selfish? “You could have fucking died!”

“Don’t raise your fucking voice--,” And Vince’s eyes go black when he sees Axl standing behind you, stonefaced, hands shoved in pockets. He doesn’t know why the redhead is here, with his girlfriend, but he doesn’t like it. “Rose.”

“Neil.”

Vince straightens, puffing out his chest.  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Free country,” Axl retorts, eyes flickering to your face. The tears from your eyes are sliding down your cheeks. Even if he wants to bash Vince’s perfectly symmetrical face in, he holds back, not wanting to scare you. “And I was just leaving.”

“Axl, wait, no you don’t have to go.” You plead, grasping his wrist, voice thick with emotion. You didn’t want him to leave, not after you’d just gotten him back again.

“Yes, he does,” Vince says, more sober than he was a minute ago. Loosening his grip on the table, he toddles over, prying your hand from Axl’s wrist. Axl’s teeth clench, and his fists ball together in an attempt to keep the anger at bay.

“You’ll be going now,” Vince glares. “That’s not a request, either. I’m taking a piss, and by the time I come out, you’d better be gone.” He stalks off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

In a panic, you snatch a sharpie from the pencil holder on the counter, uncapping it with your mouth, before grabbing Axl’s wrist, scribbling digits quickly but legibly.

“What are you doing?” His voice is a hushed whisper as he tries to decipher the numbers.

“My phone number, my address.” you answer back, signaling to each one. Grabbing a piece of paper from your notepad, you quickly scrawl out Axl’s phone number and apartment address, stuffing it into your purse. He nods before pulling you in for a hug. “I want to see you again, Axl. It’s been too long.”

And he would see you again. There was no way, no way, that Axl would let anything come between you.

[ottostherapy]

Forbidden love

Pansy Parkinson x Slytherin!Reader

summary: 5.th year Slytherin dormroom conversation between Pansy, Daphne and the Reader lead to a weird role-play in the halls until the fellow Slytherins bring firewhiskey. A truth and a dare later Pansy and the Reader find themselves in an awkward position.

Word count: 3368

a/n: Okay. I have been inactive for a few years now, I know. I thought I had deleted this account to be honest, I reckon I haven’t. I am completely obsessed with the Wizarding World at the moment and I had this funny idea about writing a Pansy Parkinson fanfic/imagine (because I only found a few asking auntie google).

„Okay now. Y/N, your turn.” Pansy Parkinson was stretched on her sheets, prone with her head supported by her hands, legs dangling in the air, her feet furiously paddling forth and back. “Let’s go with Vincent Crabbe, Marcus Flint and …”, she frowned.

“Percy Weasley!” Daphne Greengrass, currently right next to me, tugged comfortably under my blankets, feet intertwined, exclaimed, chuckling.

I rolled my eyes. My best friends shot each other a glance, holding in laughter. They, of course, knew all too well I didn’t approve of their choices.

“I’ll most definitely kill Marcus, have you guys ever looked at him?” I shivered. “I might marry Percy of all of them, after all, he was headboy a few years ago and he seems to be quite … decent.” I puckered my lips.

Pansy in her own bed, like the princess she was, snorted. “You’d have to deal with a dozen of the other red-headed Weasleys then!”

“Still better than Vince to be blunt. Imagine having to follow him following Draco all day long.” I snapped the chocolate frog out of Daphne’s hand and beheaded it. She pouted.

“Oh my, my. Wouldn’t that be perfect, Y/N? Maybe you could start a steamy love affair.” Pansy grinned turning to her side. Her hand now ruffled in her dark hair, with that sly smile plastered to her lips, raised an eyebrow at me. Her black pyjama had given in to gravity, entwining around her waist.

“Isn’t he reserved for you, Pans?” I said, trying to swallow the bitter tone, that had settled on the back of my tongue.

“Would you stop talking about Draco?” Daphne shoved the last piece of chocolate into her mouth. “I perfonnally fink he if no-boyfriend material”, she licked the tips of her fingers, “and both of you know that!” Daphne had never been fond of Draco, even though we technically were friends. To some degree at least.

“I don’t even want to be more then whatever we are right now”, I crossed my arms over my torso, expecting Pansy to repeat after me, however she didn’t.

She just shrugged. “I don’t really mind. He has a cute side to him, don’t you think?”

I silently exchanged disgusted look with Daphne.

“No, Pansy. I tend to not think about him ever too often … Actually I tend to not think at all, I heard it endangers my stupidity, so I’m limiting that, maybe you should try it out as well.” It would definitely do her better than frequently thinking about the blonde boy.

“Well Y/N, I am certainly not surprised, I always knew there was something intriguing about you … I just never came around to figure out what it was.” Pansy shot me a smirk and her eyebrow popped again. This girl, Merlin!

“Oh, and I always thought it was my astonishing looks.” I snickered.

“No.” If I didn’t know better, I’d interpret Pansy’s rose cheeks for a blush maybe, for a flirtatious side-effect even, but I knew better. “I admire your boldness however, Miss Y/L/N. Maybe you have been sorted into the wrong house.” She sat up, hovered her bare feet over the stone floor. “We could be living a forbidden romance, imagine.” To my luck she turned the lights off, tapping off to the bathroom.

I, however, felt my cheeks burning, felt flustered, felt excited. How was Pansy so dreadfully playful with people around her. I knew not to dwell on the feeling she had me at right now, she was princess charming, not only with me. Sometimes I felt as though she needed to push every door open, to have any possibility and I wasn’t sure if it was a compulsive behaviour or if she just had fun doing it.

I snapped out of my thoughts when a warm finger brushed against mine. “Don’t you worry about it.” Daphne whispered. “She’ll realise eventually.” The blonde girl wrapped her arms around me and I sighted.

“How did you know?” I had always been careful to tell secrets, but this one, I hadn’t intended for anyone to find out. Not even Daphne after all.

“Come on, Y/N! I’ve known you for 13 years, don’t you think I can read your emotions by now?” Well, I certainly couldn’t read hers …

As the next morning rose, I was still caught up in the events, that happened last night. My gaze was dancing out of the window – the dim morning sky painted clouds all over the horizon – over to Pansy Parkinson. She was in a deep slumber, her face relaxed, even though her eyelids twitched from time to time.

I remembered her lips touching my forehead ever so slightly in the dark room. “We could be an adventure, darling!” She had whispered before turning to go to sleep herself.

Daphne had snuck her arm around my waist, pulling me close to her body. I knew she just wanted to help, but her embrace had made me feel even worse. I longed for the other girls’ touch, for her body to warm me up, for her to give me comfort. But there was no way Pansy would ever be mine.

I exhaled heavily before getting off to the bathroom. At least this way none of us had to fight for the sink and toilet.

As I was almost done, the door opened and in walked a very sleepy Pansy. She rubbed her Puppy eyes, blinking at me.

“Love”, she whispered. “I didn’t expect you here this early in the morning.” She walked over to me. “How did you get in?”

I gave her a look of confusion. “Are you alright, Pansy?” I handed her her green toothbrush.

“Hush, love.” Her eyes widened. “No one has to know.” She breathed, preparing her toothbrush, stuck it into her mouth. “Don’t shoo remember? Our forbibben love!” She found a loose strand of Y/H/C hair to tuck behind my ear. Her delicate hand brushed against my skin, leaving a tray of tickles. What was happening?

For a moment we stood in front of each other, eying the other girl up and down. Pansy, even with the toothbrush in her mouth, with messy hair, in a wrinkled pyjama made my heart beat faster. Made butterflies whirr around my stomach, made my breath hitch.

She gave me a sleek smile. Could she possibly know?

“Eh, Y/L/N! Cut my ingredients for me?” Pansy pointed to the flobberworm in front of her.

“What is she up to?” I mouthed to Daphne.

She shrugged, but gave me a light push.

“Why should I cut your flobblewobble, Pans?” I felt weirdly intrigued.

“Because I want you to.” She snorted. “You don’t want to get on Snape’s bad side, do you?”

“Pansy, I am not a Gryffindor.” I laughed, even though her determined role-play turned me on. Just a tad bit.

“There’s no denying it, Y/L/N” Pansy crept behind me and pushed her arms to the desk on either side of my body. “Do as you’re told”, she commanded, her voice cold and stern, but she added a muffled “Love” right into my ear.

I felt my knees weaken and decided it would probably be best to obey.

And so I found myself between Pansy’s arms over and over again with her head over my shoulder, watching closely. It went thus far, that Snape gave her a detention for distracting me. She just snickered and I could swear to have heard her say “worth it” as I walked back to Daphne.

The weeks flew by quickly, while the new self-proclaimed head-mistress professor Umbride prohibited almost everything, Pansy still found ways to get me all flustered.

She would place her hand on my thigh when sitting next to each other, pulled me in by my waist to mutter words like “love” or “darling” to me. She made the good-night kisses to my forehead a tradition and sometimes she would come so close to me, I felt her heart race in her chest.

I had realised by now that the feeling was mutual, I wasn’t stupid after all, but I enjoyed being the centre of her undivided attention. If it were up to me, you’d keep up that game she was playing. Granted I liked being her toy, I liked, that she had to know I went mad for everything she did to me, for every feeling, for every little touch.

One day I found myself in the Slytherin common room, accompanied by a large group of my friends. I sat next to Daphne at the large table, attempting to ignore my yelling classmates to write an essay for the transfiguration class. Next to Daphne sat her younger sister Astoria, snickering with two other girls of her year.

Right by the fireside, plopped onto one of the couches, lay Pansy. Her head was nestled in Dracos lap, her knees were bent over the armrest. She had her eyes on me, watching my every move.

I tried to blend it out as best as I could, but my thoughts came back to her piercing brown eyes. My ears were pointed towards their conversation, anticipating Pansy to make a move.

“Honestly, I cannot believe the ministry is that stupid.” Blaise Zabini, a tall boy from my year and a dear friend, sneered.

He was sat opposite to the fire place in an emerald, velvety armchair. All I was able to see from my place was his shaved black hair, but I was certain, he was holding the Daily Prophet, since he was invested in politics.

“They were stupid enough to not lock our parents up in Azkaban.” Draco grimaced. “This has been long overdue.”

Pansy shot up. “Draco, you don’t really think You-know-who will make things better”, she glared at him.

He shrugged. “At least the mudbloods would vanish.”

“Yes, they would, and our backbone as well.” She jumped to her feet. “Just because your parents are his pets, doesn’t mean he treats all his followers with mercy!” Angrily she paced around the small table in the middle of the sofas. “I heard him using the Cruciatus Curse on my mother in the summer, because he perceived my parents disloyal.”

You jumped as she kicked the table. Hesitantly you stood up from your chair.

“I am scared, Draco.” She continued then with a thrilling tone. “And you should be, too!” She allowed herself to fall back to her previous place, however she didn’t consider flopping back to his lap. Instead she waved me over imperiously.

I had my eyes plastered to the ground as I sat down between her and Draco. I felt grateful for my parents not being Death Eaters, I felt grateful I didn’t wake up at nights shivering, I didn’t have to shriek in my slumber, but I felt anxious as well. Unlike many other students, I had no point in denying the dark lord was back, for all your fellow students said.

“I have to admit”, Blaise raised his voice after what felt like an eternity of silence, “I am equally averse.” He pondered, folding the paper in his hand. “I just don’t think we’re standing a chance with these idiots making decisions.”

I felt Pansy’s head resting on my shoulder and a shiver ran down my spine.

Draco on my other side uttered profanities. He knew they were right, but he enjoyed being important. He enjoyed it over the cost it took.

“I hate this.” He groaned, bending forward to hide his face in his hands. Maybe Pansy was right, he could be cute sometimes. When he forgot that he actually was a git.

Nobody dared to object. We just sat for a while, a mutual silence wavering over our heads. Even Astoria and her gang had muted their voices. I wanted to shoot a glance to Daphne, but I didn’t dare breaking the moment.

If the Dark Lord was to recruit my friends, what would I do? Stand my ground? Follow them? Maybe I would just pretend to be too stupid to become one of them. Would he kill me, if he thought I was merely a squib? Or would I have the chance to just stay in the background? I didn’t ever want to find out.

The four of us were jolted out of our thoughts by the lovely “Hello, fuckers!” Millicent Bulstrode threw at us as she entered the common room. She was followed by Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, who were only ever called by their surnames.

“You will not believe what we managed to sneak in here!” Triumphantly she looked over all of our faces. Crabbe and Goyle grinned stupidly.

Bulstrode shooed Daphne over to where we sat, so our year was almost fully assembled around the small table.

“What is it you have?” Pansy asked, slightly annoyed. She wrapped her hands around my waist, pulling me tighter. She hid her face into the fabric of my grey sweater.

“Firewhiskey!” Bulstrode grinned, taking the brown bottle out of her robe.

“Where’d you get that?” Draco snapped.

“Filch’s office. He had confiscated it from some stupid seventh year Gryffindors, so we confiscated it from him. The pink monster wouldn’t want to find her favourite man drinking, would she?” Bulstrode grunted.

She was a big girl with a big attitude. She stomped over anything in her way and I was lucky enough to have only been once a thorn in her side.

“Well, I am down.” Blaise said. He looked exhausted.

“Yeah, Bullstrode!” Pansy cheered. “That actually is exactly what I need right now.”

“Don’t you think she is going to find out?” Daphne carefully opposed.

Crabbe shook his head. “No one would suspect us, Daphne. We are good students, we behave. She will probably accuse the Weasleys.”

Daphne tilted her head. “Fair point. Let���s play a game then!”

“Truth or Dare!” Pansy decided quickly. Her spirit awakening again. Her head left my shoulder, her hands drawing back to her own body.

I pouted visibly and she gave me a laugh. “Imagine what this game has to offer, love”, she breathed into my ear.

“Okay, I go first!” Goyle exclaimed. He looked challengingly at Bulstrode.

The girl rolled her eyes at him “Dare.” And so she came back 2 minutes later, spilling her entire gathering of sweets to the ground and took a sip, just for the fun. Thus, every one took a sip for fun.

I could feel the alcohol burn its way down my throat. The first few rounds we repeated the procedure, finding out Crabbe had a crush on Hannah Abbott, Blaise had once skinny dipped with Theodore Nott and Daphne certainly did not enjoy giving Draco a lap dance. He didn’t either.

I felt my cheeks burn as my best friend returned to the opposite sofa, crimson-headed. Bulstrode and Goyle laughed malicious laughs at her, handing the bottle over to Pansy.

She took a long sip and handed the bottle over to me. Her cheeks were as red as I imagined mine to be, plus I already felt a tad light-headed, so I passed, handing Draco the bottle. His pale skin had turned a little green, or was that the light? I couldn’t tell.

He as well took a long sip and gulped down the burning liquid. “Dare.” He said, putting the bottle to the middle of the table.

It was Daphne’s turn to set him a task, but she seemed to have lost her voice to her performance, so I quickly chimed in: “I dare you to kiss the cutest person in this room!” Only after I had said my words, I realised he would most likely turn to Pansy for that. Ouch. Why so stupid?

“Out of our round or out of this room?” Blaise enquired. Eyeing to the table where Astoria and her friends were still chatting.

“Room is what I said.” I repeated, hoping Blaise knew something I didn’t.

Draco shook his head. “Can I just drink?” He hissed.

“Nuh-uh.” Pansy had a devilish grin on her face. “You either do the dare or you have to take an article of clothing off … Along with the alcohol, of course.”

Considering the fact, he was only wearing his white shirt, and black school trousers the undressing would be interesting.

Draco glared at Pansy. “I know whom I had to kiss if Y/N had said the most obnoxious person.” He rose from the sofa and walked around the black piece of furniture. He stopped behind Pansy, bowing down to her. His face had changed from green to a light pink.

My fingernails dug into the soft skin of my palms. Of course he was going to kiss Pansy, why didn’t I think beforehand?

Draco’s face came closer to Pansy’s, who had laid her head to her neck. She didn’t even seem to mind.

Right as Draco was to connect their lips, he grimaced. “Ew.” He pulled away.

“You still need to do the dare”, Pansy snickered. Arrogant, as she was, her arm lurked around my shoulder, pulling me into her chest. “You wouldn’t think I’d kiss Draco before you, love, now would you?” I stiffened. Would she? I couldn’t tell. After all this was just a game.

Pansy placed a kiss to my nose, chuckling at me.

While she tried to cuddle me up, Draco walked over to the table. I was sure he had never been so insecure in his whole life. Attentively he tapped her shoulder. We watched as they exchanged a few words.

Suddenly Daphne stood behind him, fuming. “You are not kissing my little sister!” She dragged him back to our table by his wrist. Much to the displeasure of Astoria, who looked after him in her sisters grip dreamily.

Draco and Daphne both seemed relieved as they sat down.

“Pansy. Truth or dare?” Draco immediately shot at the brown-haired girl.

She smirked “Truth.” She fluttered her eyelashes.

“Tell us what you dreamt last night”, Draco demanded.

Pansy turned bright red. I turned my face to look her in the eyes, but she avoided mine. Carefully she opened the buttons to her white blouse.

I gasped. What had she dreamt that she would rather take off her shirt than tell us? Also why did Draco know? Why had she told him about it and not me?

Dracos eyes had a devilish shine. “Well I guess since Pansy couldn’t speak the truth, I can challenge another person.”

No one disagreed, Pansy shivered.

She was wearing a black bra, her skin was patchy, whether it was the alcohol or her embarrassment, she tried to hide it. Her arms crossed in front of her bust.

“Goyle has not been truth or dared yet”, Goyle said, but Draco shook his head.

“I was thinking about Y/N.” I snapped. What was he planning?

“Y/N/N, what do you think?” Draco wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his side.

What had I, everyone wanted to hug me so badly?

“Dare.” I shoved Dracos arm away.

“That’s what I was hoping for.” He stood up. “I think we are all ready for a snogging session between you and Pansy, five minutes at least and make it entertaining.” He squeezed in between Daphne and Goyle.

“Erm.” I looked over to Pansy. She snorted.

“Really Malfoy?”, she spat. “You do us a favour?”

Draco shrugged. “You’re getting on my nerves. She’s all you’re ever talking about.”

Now was my turn to blush. I was all Pansy ever talked about?

I scooped over, sudden courage flooding my veins.

She took my face into her hands, her soft hands, and smiled shyly at me before I closed the gap between our lips.

I could taste the firewhisky on her lips. I closed my eyes. My heart throbbed against her bare chest and I couldn’t stop my hands from touching her.

She was left with goosebumps under my fingertips. I stroke over her waist to which I earned a whimper from her lips. She arched her back to the direction of my body.

It was funny seeing how she had been so demanding and dominant in the last weeks, but was now melting to my every touch. Oh how she was crazy for me, too.

[corinthbayrpg]

NAME. Sebiorn Kolev AGE & BIRTH DATE. 545 & April 3rd, 1475 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Male & He/Him SPECIES. Vampire OCCUPATION. Unemployed FACE CLAIM. Jamie Dornan

BIOGRAPHY

( tw: murder, violence, death ) Wicked things often get unremarkable beginnings. Dissatisfaction sits under the skin, trying to take root as the years go by and Sebiorn watered and sowed it, watching it bloom and seethe, and seethe, and seethe. There had always been too many faces wrapped around the table, too many sets of dirty hands and filthy fingernails, half crescents caked in the earth that the family had towed and tilled, trying to raise fields of rye out of what was cold and unwilling to bear life. He clings to memories like these and they return to him in dreams, of fields of struggling crop, whose tops he brushed his fingertips against under the bowl of the cloudless, blue sky. Then they had spelled the difference between survival through the harsh Danish winter and the thinning of their family, everything that depended on seed that swayed and whispered as the wind coursed through the land. It was like this that he grew, dissatisfaction linking hands with hunger, making a home in his belly.

He married a girl from town whose wide eyes had reminded him of rain that torrented down on the roof of the tiny home he’d built with his hands, and they started their own family- a parade of flaxen haired, second generation Ibsen’s who carried on the same tradition. On cold nights their fingers and toes curled under threadbare blankets, on colder ones there was never enough to fill the bowls that sat expectantly around the table. Sebiorn grew older, more tired; what had once been a youthful face carried lines as his body bent and broke under the strain of thankless work, plowing through half frozen fields and feeding cattle who produced little milk and little meat. Every night, he’d bend his at the head of the table, begging his god, the old gods, any one that would listen, for a way to be free of a life that he had determined to be a curse.

Prayers, when whispered close to the earth sometimes reach the devil’s ear and when no god came to answer his call, a demon came to offer salvation. She whispered of a bargain, told him the story of how the fiddle had been made. Her story was of how the devil had asked for each member of a family, turning them into strings and the body of the instrument, saving the wife to be used for the bow. He told her that he wished to make music, and in that accord she stole him away, leading him to the dense forest that surrounded their farm. He followed her, raven haired and wicked, through the cursed rye that she stamped through with bare feet and past the cattle whose milk had soured and bodies grown lean. Sebiorn was glad to throw it away, letting her drain what little life remained from his tired body. As she lay him on the earth of the land that had belonged to the Ibsen’s for years and years, she smoothed his brow and fed him her blood, letting him die in her lap. It was there that he would rise once again; new, free of pain and weariness- but still bearing a hunger unlike that he had known in life.

The hunger didn’t go away, it grew claws and raked itself up his dry throat, hardly satiated when they’d both feasted on his family, severing his tie to the Ibsen line, ending a cursed lineage with the snap of each young neck. She whispered him praises for freeing them of an existence of pain, for sending them to their god, and he accepted it. The hunger didn’t end as he tore through his village with her in his arms, desperately attempting to sate a thirst that could hardly be managed. His sire had laughed at his appetite, and she gleamed at his voracity and capacity for violence. It had taken scarcely more than a week for his last living ties with the living world to meet their end, severed at her wish- but the massacre of the tiny village was on his hands and at his conscience, of which he had found to have none. For a while, he had thought that his bond with his sire was the same as love- she doted on him, her newest creation, her newest pet, and when she slid a ring onto his finger, far more ornate and beautiful than his wedding band, he smiled as he tossed the roughly hammered metal away. But, demons are not the kind to be loving, and as the years rolled by she grew tired of him, leaving his life as quickly as she had come.

The dissonance between who he was and who he had been stretches the spans of valleys, but Sebiorn never found himself plagued by the feeling of loneliness in her absence. He had seen enough of the world then, the taste of cruelty was acrid and bitter on his tongue, unkindness had set lash marks into his flesh, but now he had a hand in creating some for himself- he understood what it was like to hold power over others. He fleshed out the years that trickled by with travel, making his way through Europe and then when he had exhausted his fascinations there, the rest of the world. Building a life for himself had come with ease, he regaled the story of his beginning as something new every time, plucking out the best parts of his fabrication until he had formed something fascinating. No longer were the Ibsen’s farmers, he told the story as though he had been a soldier, how his life had been gallant and brave. He lied through his teeth when surrounded by his kind, theatrically retelling tales of valour, of blood soaked fields and holy wars. It was enough, every bit was a new brick, a small building block of the monolith he wished to become: an arrogant figure among the dead.

Modelling his actions after those of his creator, Seb began to make more of their kind. He was determinate in his selection, striving to see a reflection of himself in those that he saved from the finiteness of life. His intentions were to preserve beauty like a rose behind glass, but his choices had fangs for thorns and hunger for petals. He wasn’t a good sire at first, letting his progeny run amuck. The earliest ones had been the worst off, too headstrong and proud: he lost most to wolves, others to hunters. It took years to perfect the formula to having them stay, to learn without their teeth bared, but as his last one left his care and he prepared to teach another fledgling vampire, Sebiorn found himself wholly distracted.

Another vampire had entered the fray, and he’d seen him plucking money from pockets with one hand and necklaces from bare throats with the other, all in the same breath as he pressed a kiss to a rouged cheek. He was fascinated, enchanted from the first moment. Allowing himself to fall into Vince’s world was dizzying, a headlong sprint that he knelt not, barrelling to the front of his affections. They tore through the world together for a while, and he opened his chest to let the other vampire see all of the truths there, the ugliest parts, the ones that he had almost forgotten of himself. And it was good, for a long time, before it was bad- viciously separating at the cause of Sebiorn’s inconsolable jealously, their youth, their terrible priorities. Years apart were spent yearning, he replaced Vince with other being, other faces and bodies- but when they came back together he was pliant and liquid once again- entirely his, entirely aware of how foolish he had been to try and forget such a fact. It was a tango that they’d do for years, tugged back and forth while Vince raced to tend to his progeny, while Seb couldn’t bear to hear about them anymore. His existence had spanned nearly five hundred years when he decided that this was no way to live, that his heart would not belong to anyone else- he offered it to the other vampire, should he take it or leave it, and they were married as soon as it was possible. 

Married life has suited him fine, he’s realized. Domesticity and days in the sun, languid and rich in enjoyment of the other’s company, this is how he enjoys living. Now in Corinth, Sebiorn has become something domesticated. The violence that he had once revelled in as a youth no longer holds the same appeal, he cannot fathom enjoyment from tearing gore up and down a street- he is only momentarily raptured by terrified screams in alleys. He prefers his little rituals, walking down to the markets to get fresh ingredients, creating the perfect cup of coffee, collecting bizarre art and gossiping over wine with his friends. Instead of work, he has taken it upon himself to establish a haven for young vampires in the city, cleaning their messes and fixing their troubles- he can see the gleam of troublemaking in their eyes and aims to keep them from harm, despite the fact that he often gripes about missing out on what he claims would be a quite restful retirement.

PERSONALITY

+ paternal, steadfast, observant - jealous, petty, possessive

PLAYED BY SAM. EST. She/Her.

[jaxl-road]

Suffocate

This is a sequel to Shiver//Shake, and I def recommend reading that one first so this one makes more sense lol

Summary: Tommy and Nikki are together, but the secrecy is wearing on Tommy. And a lot of things are wearing on Nikki.

Warnings: None, but let me know if I missed anything

~~~

On God, Tommy couldn’t believe his plan had actually worked.

To be fair, at first it had been spectacularly not working. And honestly, he hadn’t even been thinking long-term when he felt a light bulb in his brain and offered his bed to keep Nikki warm- he just wanted to greedily get a little closer to the bassist, and if he could keep the other man warm at the same time, well, win-win. 

But every single night Nikki wound up colder and farther away. At the time, Tommy couldn’t fathom why Nikki kept agreeing to come back. 

Then Nikki started shaking.

Tommy’s heart broke a little as he watched the bassist struggle to breathe, trembling viciously, trying to hide, trying to run. In that moment, Tommy had been certain he had ruined everything. He had obviously overstepped and freaked Nikki out with his underhanded attempts at closeness. Maybe it was karma for his deception, but that didn’t feel fair because Nikki was the one hurting. 

He had been fully prepared to apologize, leave, and walk directly into the ocean when Nikki kissed him. Nikki kissed him. It felt like his brain shorted out and he was more than a little convinced that this was a very vivid fever dream, because there was no way, there was just no way the beautiful, talented, amazing man beneath him was kissing him. 

But he was and Tommy felt like he was in heaven, pulling this dark angel closer and kissing him again and again for the rest of the night until he fell asleep with his lips still on his skin.

When he opens his eyes hours later, Nikki is already awake. Or maybe still awake, Tommy can never quite tell.He is lazily stroking patterns onto Tommy’s collarbone, fingers brushing softly against his skin in a way that makes the drummer’s heart beat just a little faster.

“Morning.”

His voice is soft, but Nikki pulls his hand back abruptly, green eyes darting up to meet his with a shaky smile, “Hi, morning, hi. Sorry, did I wake you up?”

Tommy chuckled, and pulled him closer, burying his nose in messy black locks. Their chests pressed together, he could feel the slight hitch in Nikki’s breath, “Nah, you’re good. Besides, even if you had, I’d probably deserve it considering how many times I woke you up the last few days.

Nikki laughed, and he relaxed a bit more in Tommy embrace, “Oh shit, I didn’t think of that. Tomorrow I’m definitely putting a cockroach on your face.”

“Fuck, I’m pretty sure they’d hear me screaming down at the Whiskey!” Tommy shuddered at the thought. He could only handle bugs when they were on the other end of a flamethrower, “Come on, forgive me? I was good last night, right?” He grinned mischievously at the way Nikki’s cheeks tinged red.

Scoffing, the bassist shoved at his chest lightly, “Not that good, asshole.”

“True, the fact that you woke up before me means I’m not trying hard enough,” A look of exaggerated offense paints Nikki’s face, but before he can respond, Tommy is darting forward to kiss him.

Kissing Nikki is different during the day than it was at night. In the dark, despite Tommy’s elation, despite the joy and wonder and sheer love coursing through his veins, part of it didn’t feel real. Like if he let go of Nikki he would have never been there. Like he was always just a blink away from waking up and finding out it was all a dream.

But now, with the first rays of light starting to drift through the window, he can see every shade in Nikki’s green eyes when they widen in surprise. He can see the way Nikki leans towards him, chasing after him when he pulls back to breathe. He can see the tremor in Nikki’s smile, little pinpricks of disbelief escaping from behind the bliss.

Tommy giggled, “Fuck, you’re cute.”

“Shut up, I have a reputation.”

“You’re the cutest badass.”

 “Fuck off.”

“But it’s true!”

“I’m going to shave your head in the middle of the night.”

“That won’t make it less true,” he laughed as Nikki glared half-heartedly. God, Tommy loved this boy. Stealing one last kiss, he reluctantly disentangled himself, sitting up to stretch his arms over his head, “Hm, I need coffee or something.”

“Trust me, you never need caffeine,” Nikki smirked as Tommy shoved his arm playfully.

“Whatever, let’s see if this trash heap has any fucking food in it today,” standing, the drummer can’t help but smile. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so chipper to start the day. But then, he’s never had Nikki to start the day with. 

He’s only taken a few steps though when Nikki’s hand circles his wrist, tugging him to a stop, “Can we…” his eyes dart around the room as he hesitates, “Can we not… tell Mick and Vince about…. this… just yet?”

Tommy frowned, “Why? They won’t care, dude. And if they do I’ll fight them. Or something,” he smiles, and Nikki chuckles lightly, but he doesn’t relax.

“I know, I know. I just…” He keeps pausing, keeps stalling, and it’s strange to see the bassist so uncertain. So unsteady. Like the aftershocks of the panic that shook him the night before. “Just for a little bit? Just for a little while, can this just be… ours?”

In all honesty, Tommy didn’t get it. He was never one for keeping secrets, especially when it came to his feelings for people. But this is important to Nikki, and Nikki is important to him. Besides, he figures, it’s not an unreasonable request.

So the drummer smiled, leaning forward to peck the other man on the lips, “Sure man, we’ll keep it to ourselves for now. No biggie.”

Nikki sighs softly in relief and the tension starts to bleed out of him, “Thank you.”

As Tommy entwined their fingers, pulling the bassist out of the bedroom, there’s a thought like a whisper in the back of his head.

He’s beautiful when he’s not afraid.

~

The morning continues like normal, but better. Tommy still makes Nikki wait until noon to start drinking, Nikki still reads the ingredient list on a bag of Doritos and tries to argue why it totally counts as a balanced breakfast, and Tommy still eats cereal by the handful straight from the box.

But now when Nikki drops onto the couch, Tommy drops right on top of him, stretching out to cover his body and kiss him and they both laugh and make faces because cool ranch and sugar cereal is not the best mix of flavors but they keep kissing anyway. 

Time creeps forward, and soon it’s almost time for Mick and Vince to arrive for rehearsal. Tommy had every intention of kissing Nikki until the second the band walked through the door, but the bassist pulled away.

“Dude, they’re gonna be here any minute!”

“Yeah, so I get at least one more minute of you,” Tommy smirked.

Nikki rolled his eyes pushing the drummer gently, “You’re insatiable. Go set up your drums, fucker!” He laughed when Tommy pouted dramatically. Reluctantly, the drummer went and sat by his equipment while Nikki tuned his bass.

A few minutes later (a few minutes of lost kisses, Tommy thought bitterly) Mick arrived, walking in unceremoniously with a nod in the boys’ direction. This was directly contrasted five minutes later when Vince burst in, throwing the door open and spreading his arms dramatically, “Sup, bitches! You ready to rock?”

“We’ve literally just been waiting on you, blondie,” Mick deadpanned.

“You can’t rush perfection!”

“I can and I will, now get your ass in place,” Nikki dragged the singer over, shoving a handful of lyrics into his hands as Vince laughed. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing and practicing, each song polishing the four musicians into a real band. Tommy always loved these hours- he loved the music, but he loved the people even more. Watching Mick let loose and rock out passionately, and Vince dancing around the room, and Nikki grinning widely with his hair flying around his face. They bickered and teased and threw insults like breathing, but they always laughed, and when they finally called an end to practice they always stuck around to just hang out together.

“We gotta start looking for a venue, we’ve almost got a full set down!” Nikki opened his beer enthusiastically, practically throwing the bottle cap in his excitement. 

“Ooooh, we should start planning our outfits,” Vince grinned, “If we want to make a statement, we gotta do it right!”

“Please, we all know you’re gonna raid your girlfriend’s closet the day before,” Mick raised an eyebrow, but his lips twitched towards a smile.

Tommy laughed, “Dude, you have to admit, girl jeans are just better,” he dropped onto the couch between Nikki and Mick, throwing an arm around the bassist’s shoulders. He didn’t think anything of it. Until he felt Nikki tense next to him. 

His smile fell, just slightly, and when he looked at Nikki out of the corner of his eye, he could see him clutching his beer, knuckles almost white and a plastic smile on his face. He doesn’t pull away though. Tommy turns back to the others, not wanting to draw any attention to the other man, but inside he was just confused. He wasn’t doing anything blatant, or unusual. They were the terror twins- they were always close and affectionate. Hell, they had probably sat together in this position a hundred times before. If anything it’d be more suspicious if they didn’t hang all over each other.

Nikki eased up a bit over time, but for the rest of the night Tommy couldn’t help but feel like he was being more… deliberate. Like he was planning everything out in his head before moving or speaking or laughing. Like he was carefully calculating exactly where to be so he wasn’t too close or too distant from the drummer.

Tommy felt exhausted for him.

Eventually, when all four reached a level of pleasantly buzzed, Mick left with a casual wave, and Nikki turned to Vince, “You going back to your girlfriend’s place?”

“Oh,” Vince’s eyes widened, even as he tried to speak with an air of dismissiveness, “nah, we decided it wasn’t really working out and-”

“She dumped your ass, didn’t she.”

“Wha- she did not! If anything, I dumped her.”

“Suuuure you did,” Nikki laughed, Tommy snorting next to him.

Vince huffed, “We just decided we needed a little space, that’s all. She’ll be back in no time.”

Elbowing Nikki gently, Tommy grinned mischievously, “Hey Nik, you think Vince wants to get in her pants or just wear her pants?”

“Good point,” he snickered, “Better start groveling now, Vinnie, if you want her outfit for our first show.”

The two friends laughed as Vince threw one of the couch pillows at them, “Oh, screw you guys!” He couldn’t hide his smile though, “You’re just jealous ‘cause I get pussy and free clothes.”

“True, I wish I was short enough to share my girlfriend’s clothes.”

“Okay, FUCK YOU!” jumping from his seat, Vince lunged at Nikki, who immediately leapt up and darted away, laughing maniacally as the singer chased him around the living room, jumping over the coffee table and knocking over empty bottles. Eventually, Vince got him in a headlock, both of them out of breath and laughing, “You motherfucker, I’m gonna light your fucking hair on fire!”

“Hey! You’re only allowed to light me on fire on stage!” Nikki fired back.

“Nobody is lighting anybody on fire!” Tommy declared, standing to pull the two apart as he giggled.

“Unless it’s on stage!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“… I’m not saying yes, but we can discuss it,” Tommy relented, Nikki and Vince high-fiving each other in victory.

Exhausted and buzzed, Vince stretched dramatically before retreating to his room for the night. As much as Tommy loved the blonde, he couldn’t help but bounce on his toes in excitement at having Nikki all to himself again.

Which was why he pouted like a child when Nikki started heading to his own room, “Hey, hey, hey! Where are you going? My room’s this way!”

Nikki stopped abruptly, turning to look at Tommy in surprise, “Oh, I…I was just…” he jerks his thumb towards his room, lowering his voice a bit, “I mean, since Vince is back…”

“So?” Tommy grinned mischievously, “One, neither of us are busty chicks, so Vince barely pays attention to us anyway,” Nikki snorted, tilting his head with a wry smile of agreement. Smirking, the drummer continued, “Two, he’s always the first one to bed and the last one up so he’d probably never even notice,” he received a hum of acknowledgement, “And three,” he stretched the word out as he sauntered up to the bassist, “we’re just keeping warm in our shitty, cold apartment, right? Just sharing body heat. Nothing weird there. Definitely nothing happening in that bed other than keeping you from freezing to death. So nothing for Vince to think twice about.”

He wraps his arms loosely around Nikki’s neck, grinning down at him. The bassist still seems hesitant, and he opens his mouth as if to object…

…But then his teeth click shut, and he gives a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “You make a solid argument, T-Bone.”

Tommy burst into a wide smile, too happy to dwell on any subtleties hiding in the other boy’s expression,  “You’re damn right I do,” he tugged him forward back towards his own room, and Nikki followed easily.

Though he never seemed to fully relax that night.

~

Weeks pass like a roller coaster. Up and down and up and down.

It’s up when Motley Crue has their first show, and after the unexpected brawl got broken up, they actually had a pretty decent set. After that, they were performing at least once a week, and the crowd got bigger each time, cheering and dancing and screaming for an encore. It was exhilarating, and so much fun, and all of them were practically giddy with excitement. 

Well. Almost.

It’s down because Nikki was happy, of course he was. But he was also terrified. Tommy could see it in the way he obsessed over their songs, tearing out pages and writing and rewriting and practicing on his own until Tommy found him plucking at his bass with bloody fingers. 

“I just don’t want to fuck this up,” he mumbled as the drummer pulled the bass away from him, “I’m fine, it’s fine, I just don’t want to fuck up.”

Tommy didn’t know what to say. So he settled for guiding Nikki to bed and stroking his hair until they both fell asleep. 

And it’s up, because God, Tommy loved him so much. He waited all day just for these moments where he could wrap Nikki in his arms, kiss every inch of his face, touch him, feel him, make him smile in the dark. He wouldn’t lie, it was hard at times, keeping it a secret. The drummer wanted nothing more than to shout his love for Nikki from the rooftops, to hold him close and kiss his hair and his cheek and his mouth at every opportunity. He wanted to brag to anyone who would listen and anyone who wouldn’t about how Nikki was his.

If Nikki wanted to keep things low-key for a bit though, Tommy could handle it. It was fine. 

But it also wasn’t. It was down, down, down, because the more time passed, the more Nikki felt like plastic under his hands. At first he could never seem to relax when they were around the others, but now even when they’re alone he can feel Nikki weighing every action in his head. Planning and scripting, everything deliberate, conscious, stiff. After a few weeks it starts to feel like he’s sleeping with a mannequin- like he could move Nikki however he wanted, place him like a doll, turn him this way and that, and he’d comply without a word. 

Was Nikki even happy with him?

A shudder ran through him at the thought. He loved the bassist so Goddamn much, and he didn’t want to be insecure about them- after all, Nikki had kissed him, that had to mean something, right? But at the same time, he wondered if all the secrecy was because he was in this deeper than Nikki. Maybe the other man regretted it, or had only wanted something physical and not emotional, or realized he was embarrassed by Tommy or something. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, and he wasn’t sure if it made him want to punch a wall, or cry, or drink until he died.

He was well on his way to the last option that night, almost three weeks since he and Nikki had gotten together. Motley Crue had killed another show, fans practically throwing themselves at them, and the four band members had decided to celebrate with a night at the strip club.

To be honest though, Tommy was tired. He was frustrated, and lovesick, and just wanted to curl up with Nikki who didn’t want to curl up with him. But he couldn’t express any of that, not with all the fucking secrets, so instead he snorted some coke, did too many shots, snorted some more coke, and sat right next to the main stage with Vince while Nikki and Mick relaxed at the bar across the room.

It helped a little, he supposed. The bright lights and loud music are a welcome distraction from his thoughts, and the drugs are starting to kick in, making him laugh a little easier. He’s got that hazy feeling in his peripheral vision when one of the dancers comes over and sets herself on his lap. He blinks a little in surprise, looking up at her plastic smile as she rolls her body against his. For a moment he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and it’s almost funny, how quickly he forgot about other bodies beyond Nikki’s. Turning his head, he glances over at where the bassist is sitting with Mick. Nikki is already looking at him.

The room is swaying slightly, back and forth like a boat at sea, and it makes it hard to figure out what emotion he’s seeing on Nikki’s face. The stripper in his lap puts her hands on Tommy’s neck and he figures Nikki is probably just jealous.

And that thought pisses him off.

How dare he feel jealous. Tommy would gladly trade the stripper for Nikki- would so much rather have the bassist sitting in his lap pressing closer and closer. But he said no. He’s the one who pulled away anytime there was a possibility of being caught. He’s the one who couldn’t bear to be seen with Tommy. He’s the one who insisted on keeping Tommy his dirty little secret. Nikki wasn’t allowed to be jealous.

Putting his hands on the stripper’s waist, Tommy pulled her closer. If Nikki didn’t want anyone to know, well then, Tommy better keep up appearances.

He’s not really feeling it, but he plays up the lap dance anyway. Pettiness drives him to exaggerate his lust, performing just as much as the woman in his lap for the man he knew was watching.

When the dance is over, the stripper takes her tips and hurries off. In hindsight Tommy realizes he must have gotten a little too handsy, but he can’t bring himself to care, downing another shot instead. He is getting ready to flag down another dancer when he feels a hand on his shoulder. The room spins when he turns around, and he sways in his seat. He might have fallen over if it weren’t for the hand holding him firmly. When his vision clears, Nikki is looking down at him, body stiff and face expressionless even as he tries to smile like he knows he’s expected to.

“Woah, steady there, T-Bone. How much have you had, dude?”

“Not nearly enough,” Tommy stood up abruptly, shaking Nikki’s hand off even as he stumbled over his own feet. He gets a few steps before the bassist is at his side again, hands out to help his shaky movements.

“Seriously man, you seem pretty wasted. I was just gonna let you know I was heading out, but maybe you should come with…” he trailed off questioningly, and Tommy felt his anger spike.

Fuck this.

“No,” he pushed Nikki back a few steps, swaying on his feet at the motion, “I think I want to stay. Haven’t gotten my fill just yet, and there’s still plenty of girls who wouldn’t mind being seen with me,” the words sound distant to his own ears, but the harsh sarcasm bites through the haze of alcohol.

Nikki pauses, and then narrowed his eyes. Even piss drunk as he was Tommy could practically feel the temperature drop, “I don’t know if you have enough cash for anyone to want to be seen with you right now,“ his voice is cold and sharp, “so maybe you’re better off going home and sleeping this off.”

Tommy feels the rage swell, mixed with something like hurt, or sorrow, or both, “You seem upset, babe,” he spits the word out and Nikki flinches back, eyes widening in surprise, “What’s the matter? I do something wrong? Am I only allowed to pay attention to you when it suits you?”

Even through his fury, Nikki’s eyes dart around nervously, “Shut the fuck up, Tom-”

“Why?” The drummer cut him off angrily, “I’m just shooting the shit with my friend, right? Unless there’s something you’d like to share with the class,” he spread his arm to gesture to the room, drawing a few glances.

There is a moment of standstill, where Nikki looks at him wide-eyed and hurt. But then his whole face steels, and when Nikki opens his mouth he could practically see the bassist sharpening the blade. When he speaks, it sounds like a hiss, “Keep this up and there won’t be anything to share.”

Deep down, the sober part of Tommy feels a little bit gutted. As Nikki starts to walk away, that feeling crawls through the layers of alcohol and cocaine and insecurity, and by the time it reaches the surface it has morphed into desperate, frantic rage.

“Don’t walk away from me!” He snaps, grabbing Nikki’s wrist and jerking him back.

His grip is firm, even as the other boy tugs his arm to try to escape, snarling, “Don’t fucking touch me!”

But Tommy holds tight, “You were the one who wanted this! You started this thing, so you don’t get to just pick and choose when you want me around!”

“Back off, T-Bone,” Nikki is tense, still trying to pull his arm free while Tommy gets more worked up.

“Oh, so now you don’t want me around? A minute ago you wanted my attention- What, you can’t make up your mind, baby?”

Nikki flinched again, jaw clenched and hands balled into fists, “I’m fucking serious, Tommy, let go!”

It infuriated Tommy, and without even thinking, he heard himself snap out, “You’ll crawl into my bed but you can’t handle a fucking pet name?”

“Alright! Hey! Take a step back, drummer!” Mick was suddenly between them, breaking Tommy’s hold on Nikki and pushing the teen back. He plants himself in front of the drummer, putting space between them. Separating the terror twins.

Later, Mick would reveal that he had no idea what the fuck the two kids were even fighting about- the loud music and hollering of the club patrons drowning out their words- but he saw Nikki with a look on his face like he was two seconds from tearing the drummer apart with his bare hands and figured he should step in.

As soon as he was released, Nikki stumbled away, clutching his wrist to his chest and staring at Tommy with wide eyes, wrathful and terrified. He speaks on an exhale, soft and breathy, “Fuck you, Tom.”

Mick’s hand is still on his chest, and Nikki is backing away, all teeth and snarl and cold, cold, cold, like ice water over Tommy’s head and the last ten minutes slam into him all at once and he feels suddenly sober, sees the man he loves getting farther away, getting covered by the crowd, and he thinks about how often Nikki calls himself a runaway.

“Wait,” his voice starts as a whisper, rapidly growing in volume and desperation, “wait wait wait-!”

“Go to Hell!”

With that, Nikki breaks eye contact, finally turning around and running. And then he’s gone.

Tommy thinks he might cry. “Fuck,” his voice cracks on the word.

In front of him, Mick still blocks his way, hand up to discourage him when he starts to move forward, “Easy, drummer, just let him cool off-”

“No, Mick, I need to go now, I fucked up, I-”

“Give him some time and then-”

“No! I need to go now! What if he-!”

“Can you guys please not get us kicked out of the best strip joint in town?”

Vince’s voice cut through the noise, sliding smoothly over to his struggling bandmates with a look that was a cross between annoyance and concern. 

Mick sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Nikki took off, go find him.”

“What? Why do I have to babysit the bassist?”

“Would you rather babysit the drummer?”

“Yeah I’m going,” the singer had barely glanced at Tommy’s tearfilled eyes before turning on his heel and taking off in the direction Mick had pointed. 

“Mick, you don’t understand, I fucked up, I fucked up so bad,” and goddammit, Tommy was actually crying in a strip club. How had he been so angry not ten minutes ago? Where had that rage gone? He couldn’t find any of it now- only sorrow and regret.

He rubbed at his eyes furiously as Mick guided him to an open stool at the bar. And maybe Tommy was still drunk, and high, and falling apart, but the gruff guitarist seemed to soften, placing a hand on his shoulder comfortingly, “I’m sure you did. But just let the kid calm down a bit, and clear your own head. Unfortunately for the rest of us, I doubt there’s anything that could keep you two apart for too long.”

God, Tommy hopes that’s true. Because something is wrong- there is something disconnected in their relationship and he hates it. He hates the hesitation that has held Nikki in a vice grip every since they woke up that first morning. He hates how Nikki looks cornered the moment he enters a room. He hates the stiffness, the stutters, the silvery thread of fear in Nikki’s every motion.

It feels like those first few days of sleeping in the same bed- Tommy wanting nothing more than to make it better and only ever making it worse.

He hates it. But hating it won’t fix it.

He and Nikki will have to do that together.

~

Once he’s sober and calm enough to walk without puking, Mick helps Tommy back to the apartment. He gets him to the front door before booking it, grumbling about not wanting to deal with anymore drama than he already has. He needn’t have worried though, because when Tommy opened the door, the apartment was dark and quiet. 

Walking down the hall to the bedrooms, he starts when Vince opens his door suddenly, “I thought I heard someone shuffling sadly,” he leaned against the doorway, offering a small smile to the drummer. 

When Tommy only shrugged in response, he sighed, “Well, I stopped Nikki from skipping town at least, but the rest is your problem. I’m getting the Hell outta dodge first thing in the morning in case you guys wanted to throw shit or… something,” he waved a hand dismissively as he turned back into his room, “So, yeah. Good luck, dude. I’m rooting for you.”

He closes the door before Tommy can burst into tears again. Because he wonders if Vince should be rooting for him. Was he even any good for Nikki? Just a lovesick kid who let his temper get the best of him, who kept pushing away the person he said he loved. He wanted Nikki to be happy. But if he was honest with himself, more than that he wanted Nikki to be happy with him. He felt so selfish.

The door to Nikki’s room was closed, hiding its occupant for the first time in weeks. It takes him a moment to work up the courage, but eventually he manages a few hesitant knocks.

There’s no response.

He knocks again, leaning his head against the wood and closing his eyes, “Nikki?” His voice is soft and scared, and all he gets is silence. He keeps talking anyway, “Nikki, I…” swallowing thickly, he steels himself, “I’m sorry, Nikki. I’m so, so, sorry. I was just so frustrated with all the secrecy and-…” He shook his head to himself, “Wait, fuck, I don’t want to make excuses. You didn’t deserve any of that, and I’m so fucking sorry and please,” it takes effort to not make a sound when a few more tears escape, “please don’t give up on us yet.”

Tommy waits, and waits, and waits. But he never gets a reply. Eventually, he forces himself to back away, “Okay. We… we can talk tomorrow, okay?” As he turns to his own room, he makes sure his voice is loud enough to be heard through the door, “I love you, Nik.”

His room is too quiet. His bed is too big. His arms are too empty.

Sleep comes slow that night.

~

When Tommy wakes up, he has a raging hangover, and Nikki is sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Tommy bolts upright immediately, head pounding and room spinning slightly at the motion. Nikki stiffens a bit at the movement, but otherwise stays still, his back facing the drummer, head hung low and hands clutching the mattress. For a terrifying moment, Tommy has no idea who he is speaking to- his boyfriend, or his friend, or his band mate, or none of the above.

“Nikki-”

“You can tell them,” the bassist’s voice is quiet, but not soft. It is flat, dull, tired. He doesn’t turn around as he speaks, dark hair hiding what little of his face Tommy might have been able to see, “Mick, and Vince, and… fuck, whoever you want. Tell anyone, tell everyone, make fliers, fuck me on stage, whatever. Do whatever you want. I don’t fucking care.”

Even facing away, even in the dark, Tommy could tell that Nikki absolutely fucking cared.

He wants to hold him, but he knows he can’t yet. So instead, he takes a deep breath and starts untangling his thoughts, “We should have talked about it, dude. You asked, and I said yeah but like, we should have actually discussed it.”

Nikki breathes sharply through his nose, “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong, I just-” Tommy gestures vaguely, but Nikki still won’t look at him. Gathering up all his courage, he tells the truth, “I want to tell people because it’s hard to contain how I feel about you. Like, shit, I’m so fucking head over heels it takes physical effort not to blurt out how much I love you to anyone who looks our way, y’know?” Nikki’s head tilts just the slightest bit towards him, listening quietly. So Tommy continues, spitting out everything he’s been holding in, “I’ve got these feelings that I want to share with everyone, so I guess that… when you kept wanting to keep everything a secret, I just, I dunno, started to assume it was because you didn’t feel the same way, or were embarrassed by me or something.”

“That’s not it,” Nikki’s voice is breathy, and rushed, and honest. He shakes his head vehemently, desperate for Tommy to believe him, “I swear, that’s not it at all.”

Tommy wishes so badly that the other man would look at him. All he sees is the tremors down his hunched back, the hitch in his thin shoulders, hands clenched tight, leg bouncing rapidly. It’s so similar to the fear from the night they got together, and Tommy wants so badly to just stop scaring him.

“I know, Nik,” He says softly, “I get that now. But just… now you know. That’s why I want to tell them,” there is a pause before he continues, “Why don’t you want them to know?“

Nikki swallowed thickly before shaking his head slowly and mumbling, "It doesn’t matter.”

”Yes, it does,” Tommy stresses, hands gripping the blankets around him in a desperation to just make him understand, “You matter, Nikki, and so do your opinions and feelings and fucking everything in between. I don’t want you to just go along with something because it’s what I want.” 

Nikki’s head drops a little lower, “It’s stupid…” 

“No, it’s not. I promise you, it’s not,” Tommy wants so badly to reach over and turn his face so he can look into his eyes. But he doesn’t want to invade Nikki’s space. Not yet. He’s not ready yet. “I want to know what you’re feeling. Please?”

For a long minute, there is silence, Nikki’s back stiff and still as he wages a war in his head. When he finally speaks, his voice cracks just slightly, “I don’t want to jinx this.”

Tommy frowned, shifting just a little bit closer, “What does that mean?”

Nikki gripped the mattress tighter, knuckles white with anxiety, and he makes a noise that Tommy thinks is supposed to be a scoff but sounds like a sob, “I told you it was stupid,” he snarls, but Tommy has a sneaking suspicion it’s not him Nikki is mad at.

“Hey, hey, that’s not what I’m saying,” he keeps his voice gentle and soothing, “it’s not stupid. I just… want to understand better?” And it’s true. It’s so true. Tommy sits and prays because he just wants to understand.

Nikki’s leg is still bouncing up and down rapidly, arms shaking from the effort not to collapse, jaw tense as he tries to force the words out. As he tries to find the words at all.

“This whole… thing… we have… it just feels so… so fucking fragile. I feel like if I breathe too hard it’s all gonna crash around me like a fucking house of cards. And I’m trying not to be so damn, fucking… I don’t know, me, I guess, but I feel like the second we let Vince and Mick in on what we have going on will be the second you realize how fucked up it is that someone like you would settle for a piece of shit like me. And then I’ll have to deal with Vince and Mick making fun of me on top of trying to somehow piece myself back together after you ditch my ass and I don’t know if I could handle that.”

His voice cracks at the end, and he curls into himself a little more, and Tommy is pretty sure he’s going to start crying soon. This whole time he’d assumed that his feelings were obvious- that there was no way Nikki could possibly think he would ever leave him. He thinks back to the strip club the night before, to Nikki watching him get a lap dance, and he realizes Nikki wasn’t jealous at all. He was just sad.

“Nikki,” Tommy puts as much love and tenderness into the name as he can. He speaks it like the treasure it is, “Nikki. I want to be with you. You, exactly as you are. I’m not going to cut and run just because things get rough or we get in a fight or whatever. If shit comes up we’ll deal with it. Together.”

Finally, finally, finally, he allows himself to reach out, covering Nikki’s hand with his own. The bassist takes a shaky breath, slowly unclenching his hand. Tommy entwines their fingers together, stroking his thumb softly over his hand. Then, slowly, Nikki turns to look at him.

Tommy feels himself choke up at the sight of red rimmed eyes, black tracks of eyeliner running down pale cheeks with smudges where they had been half-heartedly wiped away. His lips quivers, and he only manages a moment of eye contact before looking down at their hands. He looks lost.

Maybe it’s too soon, but Tommy can’t help it. He scoots forward and pulls Nikki into his chest, wrapping his arms around him gently and resting his cheek against his hair.

He can feel the hitch in Nikki’s breath, “I don’t want to lose you,” he whispers. He tucks himself deeper into Tommy’s hold and then, even softer, “but I don’t know how to be someone you want, either.”

“I already want you,” Tommy holds him tighter, leaves no room for argument, “Fuck, Nik, I’ve wanted you since the day we met. We can disagree, or get in a fight, or be mad at each other, or whatever bullshit and I will still want you.”

A soft sob escapes the bassist as he hesitantly reaches up to wrap his arms around the drummer, hands fisting in the back of his shirt. Even as he tries to stay quiet, Tommy can feel growing dampness on his shirt, and he rocks them both gently as he cups the back of Nikki’s head.

“Relax,” he breathes, “Just relax.”

And then, after one last moment of hesitation, he does. 

It feels like a wire snapping, the way Nikki sucks in a breath and just sags in his arms, melting against him. All the tension that’s held him rigid for the past three weeks releases, and he gasps deeply, and Tommy wonders if he’s been holding his breath since that first morning they woke up together. He holds him as he catches his breath.

When they finally lay down, still tangled in each others’ arms, Tommy feels Nikki sigh against his collar bone. He rubs his hand up and down Nikki’s back, and smiles into his hair.

“I got you, dude. We’re a team- we’re in this together from now on, okay?”

Nodding slowly, Nikki replies softly, “Yeah. Yeah, okay,” Closing his eyes, he huffs out something between a laugh and a sigh, “Fuck. I love you so fucking much.”

“I know,” Tommy pulls him even closer, “I love you too.”

~

It’s not always easy, but it’s better. 

Sometimes Nikki panics, and Tommy has to remind him to loosen up, to move, to breathe. But when he does, oh, he’s reminded why he fell in love with him in the first place.

He hadn’t even realized how much he missed his best friend until he got him back. After all those weeks of Nikki tip-toeing and tearing himself apart, Tommy could cry at the return of the terror twin he loved so much. Even as they continued to keep their relationship to themselves, Nikki was learning to relax when the band was together, leaning into Tommy’s touch, joking, laughing loud and free. He’s filling up his own body again after weeks of hollowing himself out.

Two weeks later, Tommy, Nikki, and Mick are backstage before another show. Mick is strumming lazily at his guitar while Nikki pesters Tommy to hold still so he can fix his damn eyeliner when the door burst open.

“Guys, guys, guys, guys GUYS!” Vince slid into the dressing room, hair flying around his face and practically jumping up and down, “You’re not gonna believe this!”

“I swear to God, if it’s got anything to do with tits, I’m going to strangle you,” Mick deadpanned.

Vince scoffed in offense, “No! This is legit, guys!” He leaned in conspiratorially, “We are officially, SOLD OUT!”

“No fucking way!” Nikki stood abruptly, excitement and disbelief on his face.

“Yes fucking way!” Vince exclaimed, “There is a line down the street that they’re turning away because we packed the fucking house!”

“No fucking way!” laughing gleefully, Tommy and Nikki whoop and holler, shouting expletives in their excitement as Mick shook his head slowly. 

“Holy shit. Holy shit, I think we’re actually a good fucking band,” Mick brought his hands to his hair, trying and failing to suppress a wide grin. The guitarist laughs as Vince, Tommy, and Nikki jump up and down. The four bandmates clap each other on the backs, and hug, and cheer at their success, and the energy gets higher and higher, and Nikki grabs Tommy’s shirt and pulls him into a deep kiss.

Tommy let out a soft noise of surprise, eyes widening for just a moment before grinning into the kiss, wrapping his arms around the other man to pull him impossibly closer. When they finally part they’re both laughing.

They’re so caught up in each other that they almost miss Vince groaning and reluctantly slapping a twenty dollar bill into Mick’s waiting palm, the guitarist smirking victoriously. 

“Oh, fuck you guys!” Nikki laughed, he and Tommy flipping the other two off in sync. 

“Mick, why don’t you hold me like that?” Vince pouted sarcastically.

“I’m not convinced your stupidity isn’t contagious,” Mick raised an eyebrow as Vince gasped dramatically.

Nikki laughed, and Tommy wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, resting his chin on the bassist’s shoulder as they watched their bandmates bicker. He could feel Nikki melt back into him even as he bounced on his toes in excitement and Tommy didn’t think he’d ever felt this happy in his entire life.

Eventually, Nikki pulled away, clapping his hands together, “Alright, alright, enough bitching!” He threw his arms around Vince and Mick, “We got a fucking show to do!”

“Hell yeah!” They grabbed their equipment, each taking one last glance in the mirrors to make any last adjustments to their hair or makeup before heading out to the stage, adrenaline high and triumph running through their veins.

As they exit the dressing room, Nikki grabs Tommy’s hand, grinning widely and eyes shining, “Let’s give ‘em what they came for, yeah?”

“Fuck yeah,” leaning in, he gave his boyfriend one last quick kiss. 

“Let’s rock the fucking house.”

[smilingformoney]

America’s Most Eligible 3 Diamond Scene: Reminisce

You: But if we’re gonna do this, we have to go back to where it all began… Han: Lead on.

-If you’re marrying Adam

You take your wedding party to the foyer and stand near the staircase, watching as the crew bustles around to prepare for filming later. You: This is where it all started… I met Adam right here, waiting for Jen to finish my paperwork. Slater: The Bad Boy and the Girl/Boy Next door… It couldn’t have worked out better if it was scripted. Kiana: If we’re being hoenst, I always thought that it was. Han: The timing did always seem a little too good to be true. You: You guys don’t know the half of it…

Jen rushes you inside, then point at a spot under the staircase. Jen: Stand there while I get your paperwork. And don’t move. You: (What did I get myself into…?) Voice: Watch out! You turn your head just in time to see a giant light fixture falling directly toward you! You quickly jump out of the way, bumping into someone! Strong arms hold you steady. Adam: Gotta watch your step when you’re on set. You never know what’s gonna happen.

You: Adam saved me from making my TV debut with a black eye. Eden: Doesn’t sound like he was so ‘bad’ after all. You: Adam had been through a lot. His season with Vince and Sierra made him doubt himself more than he ever had… You: But he always had a soft spot for me. Bianca: And what about you?

You: I took one look at him, and I knew… -He was my forever.

You: With all of its ups and downs, this past year is proof that fate brings people together at the perfect time. You: Adam needed to learn to trust again, and I needed to fell safe and grounded in my new reality. You: We found that in each other, and now, with each other’s help, we’ve grown in leaps and bounds.

-He was gonna be trouble.

You: I'd barely known him for a few minutes and he wanted me to skip out on paperwork to hang out! You: But he taught me that my time on AME was whatever I made it. I could play like the sky was falling... You: Or I could do things my way. Let's just say our life together is never boring.

-If you’re marrying Derek

You take your wedding party to an empty hair and makeup room, taking in the familiar scent of foundation and hairspray. You: This is where it all started… I met Derek right here at the vanity. Bianca: All the best relationships start over bronzer. Han: Speak for yourself. The baseball field is where I made my best friends. Kiana: I prefer the anonymity of online, but to each their own. You: Everybody has a place that’s special to them. This one’s mine… You take a good look around, and you can almost feel the sweep of a concealer brush on your skin…

You arrive at hair and makeup. The room is overrun with contestants and stylists putting the finishing touches on their opening night looks. Jen quickly gets to work. Jen: Of all the people you’ve met, Bianca, Zeke, and Derek here are all under my care. Jen gestures to the contestant in the chair next to yours. He meets your eyes and flashes you a genuine smile. Derek: Hey. It looks like we’re on the same team.

You: Derek is really someone that I connected with straight away. Eden: You two do seem to have a lot in common. From what I hear, he was plucked from a sea of fans too. You: True, but that’s where the similarities stop. Derek was a super fan, and I’d missed Season 9 completely. You: On paper, you’d think that all of his preparation and my spontaneity should cancel each other out.

You: But Jen introduced the two of us, and… -It was love at first sight.

You: In that one moment, my life flashed in front of my eyes… in a good way! You: I saw a lifetime of love and laughter in our future, and there hasn’t been a day since then that I haven’t been right. You: Derek may overanalyse, but digging deeper helps him see what really matters to the people he loves.

-Here we are a year later.

You: THings with Derek were definitely a slow burn, but now I can't imagine life without him. You: We balance each other in ways neither of us knew we needed. You: He helps me lean in to see the small details, and I pull him back to look at the big picture.

-If you’re marrying Jen

You take your wedding party outside to the courtyard, your heart pumping with all of the excitement you felt when you first stepped on set. You: This is where it all started… I met Jen right here, waiting to sit in the live audience. Slater: And just like that the Girl/Boy Next Door was born. Superstardom in sixty seconds or less. You: It wasn’t that easy… Kiana: I don’t think I’ve heard this origin story before. Han: At least you have an excuse. I was on that season, and I don’t remember this. You: You were already inside. I was just part of the crowd until Whitney stormed out…

Suddenly, the front door flies open, and one of the contestants rushes back out! Whitney: That’s it! I quit! Jen: Whitney, come back! We can fix this! Fan: Looks like someone couldn’t take the heat. Fan: But… the heat hasn’t even been turned on yet! Jen: Whitney, please! I’ll be fired if you leave now… Whitney: I don’t care! I’m not spending one more second in this stupid house!

You: Whitney may have had a meltdown, but I still had to prove to Piper that I would be good for the show. Bianca: I guess if you can entertain the devil, the fans’ll fall in line. Eden: You can say that again. I’d almost forgotten about Piper. You: That day was so hectic. I aced the mini audition, filled out my paperwork… I even did my first Confessional!

You: Through it all, I still remember how… -Kind Jen was.

You: No one expected me to make it past the first Elimination, let alone to the finale. She could’ve just written me off. You: But even with a mansion full of contestants to produce on the busiest day of the season, she took me under her wing and made sure I was okay. You: And she’s been looking out for me ever since.

-Well we worked together.

You: Whitney was a mess, but together, we were able to pull her back from the brink! You: If Piper hadn’t thrown her out, she could’ve come back to win that season. You: That was when I knew, if we worked together, Jen and I would be unstoppable.

-If you’re marrying Mackenzie

You take your wedding party to the kitchen and breathe in the alcoholic tang of freshly poured whiskey. You: This is where it all started… I met Mackenzie right here during the signature cocktail Challenge. Bianca: Knowing Mackenzie, I bet she did her best to leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Kiana: Wait, Mackenzie was like that to you guys too? When we met, I thought she just didn’t like me! Han: It’s not you. The first week of Season 10, she refused to stand next to me. Said she could fell me getting ‘dumb jock’ on her. You: She definitely has a funny way of introducing herself…

You stand in the kitchen and gape at the available cocktail ingredients… You: Well, at least I know I want to add a cherry on top! You reach for the jar of maraschino cherries, struggling to lift the lid… You: Why… won’t this… open?! Just then, the jar is whisked out of your hands! You look up at the contestant who stole the cherries and see a beautiful oman opening the jar with ease. She pops a cherry in her mouth and leaves the open jar on the counter. Mackenzie: What?

You: Mackenzie is never more unbothered than when she’s competing… Except maybe when she’s eating! Slater: You don’t have to tell us, we’ve seen her do both. Eden: She can be ruthless. You: For all her confidence and bravado, her bite is just as strong as her bark. When we met, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

You: She was clearly… -The most beautiful woman in the room.

You: But she’s so much more than a pretty face. She could coast through life on her looks, but she’s the hardest worker I’ve ever met! You: Whether it’s law school, AME, or taking care of her family… Mackenzie doesn’t shy away from a challenge. You: It’s how I know she’ll always have my back. No matter what.

-My biggest competition!

You: Taking the jar out of my hands like that was such a power move! You: She was trying to intimidate me, but little did she know she put herself on my radar. I ushed myself harder to keep up with her. I still do. You: Mackenzie never gives anything less than her best, and I want to bring that same commitment to our relationship.

Bianca/Slater: I’d say that’s a pretty strong foundation to build your love on. You: One thing’s for sure.

You: If I had to do it all over again… -I wouldn’t change a thing.

You: Our love story may not be perfect, but it’s ours, and every bump in the road has only made us stronger. You: My fiancée and I are gonna finish this special the way we came into it. Together.

-I would do everything differently!

You: Who knows what our time on AME would’ve been like if I’d just made some different choices. You: Maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. Kiana: Shoulda, coulda, woulda. All any of us has is right now. So what’re you gonna do with yours?

Eden: How your love story started may have been beyond your control, but the rest is up to you to make the best choices you can. You: Eloping wasn’t the right choice for either of us. It was just a means to an end. Han: So if that wouldn’t have helped, maybe you two should sit down and figure out what will. You: You’re right… +50 You: Thanks for staying behind to help me pick up the pieces, you guys. Bianca/Slater: Look, I know this is something you’d usually turn to your maid of honour or your best man for, but we all care about you, Jamie. Bianca/Slater: Especially me. You: Right back at ya.

You: Now, I need to find my fiancée… -So we can spend all night making up!

You: We’ve both got some serious apologising to do. Slater/Bianca: A person after my own heart.

-And hash this out.

You: Bringing back all of these memories reminds me of how great we’ve been right from the start. We can fix this! Eden: You love each other, and that’s all that matters. Go squash this, so we can get back to fighting for your happily ever after.

[whimsicaldragonette]

Some Other Metal Than Earth (Part 1 of 5)

Summary: Draco Malfoy is bored out of his mind in his eighth year at Hogwarts. After a prank gone wrong, he discovers that Harry's life isn't really that much better than his own. As they try to keep their friends from realizing that they've somehow swapped minds, they find it's easier to spend time together. Becoming friends comes naturally. But are their friends really as fooled as they believe? Complete at 5 chapters; will post a chapter a day all this week as a birthday present to myself.

Part 1 (You are here)~ Part 2~ Part 3~ Part 4~ Part 5~

-Part 1: Monday-

A fly buzzed around the windows of the new Potions classroom, hurling itself futilely against the glass. Draco found himself wishing he could do the same. Salazar, he was bored. He sighed, propping his head on his hand, fighting to keep his eyelids from drooping. His attention wandered from the lecture again and he found himself watching dust motes dancing in the beams of golden late-afternoon light.

Thank Merlin this was his last class of the day. Staying awake through double Potions right before dinner was turning out to be nigh impossible. Especially on days like this when the sun had heated the room and turned it stifling.

Professor Slughorn’s voice droned on, listing the properties of something-or-other in painfully exhaustive detail. Merlin. The man was worse than Binns. Nearly, anyway. At least Binns could be relied upon to turn a blind eye to the eighth-years’ increasing absences. Draco had been ducking out of History of Magic for weeks now, joining most of his classmates out on the grounds.

Well, not joining, exactly. He usually joined Blaise and Pansy for a walk around the grounds, steadfastly ignoring the Gryffindors as they ran about in their usual madcap fashion or lounged in the sun. Sometimes Daphne tagged along, hauling Theo with her, but Draco was indifferent to their presence. He was only close with Blaise and Pansy, anymore. Greg had chosen to enter an apprenticeship in lieu of returning for eighth year, and Vince…

Draco tried not to think about Vince.; it hurt too much. There was an empty spot on his left, a bit like a missing tooth, and it was so hard to keep from prodding at it. Vince had brought it on himself, gotten in too far for Draco to pull him out again; but he still felt like he’d failed him.

He sat as far from the fire as possible now, leaving the cozy chairs for the irritatingly fearless Gryffindors. He felt his face pull into the familiar sneer, but he didn’t have the energy to keep up the expression.  He felt the smallest flicker of jealousy; he’d loved the crackle and hiss of a cheerful fire, once. But now all he could see in the dancing flames was the fear in Vince’s eyes as he fell, burning, burning…

The other students ignored them, mostly, as they strolled around the lake. It rankled a bit. He could do with some brawling, but no one thought them worth fighting anymore. Not even Potter, who seemed content to run about with the others.

The fly buzzed past his head, avoiding his absent-minded swat and bashing into the other window. Draco tuned back into the lecture for a moment. Salazar. Slughorn was talking about Mugwort, now. He knew all this — they’d learned it years ago. Severus’ slow drawl returned unbidden, overlaying Slughorn’s higher, more nasal tones.

He could just walk out. Grab his things and— But, no. He’d have to cross in front of Slughorn to reach the door, and there was no way the man’s sharp eyes would miss him.

The screech of dozens of chair legs scraping across flagstones jolted Draco from his daze and he jumped. His eyes flitted to the clock — there was still nearly an hour left of class. Was Slughorn letting them out early? Then he noticed that the others were queueing up at the supply cupboard and grinned. Labs had been few and far between under Slughorn’s tutelage. Finally. The chance to have a bit of fun.

Draco absently gathered his supplies, wondering how best to relieve his boredom. He hesitated, hand hovering by the jar of powdered lacewing. Just a pinch would react with the mugwort and cause a decent explosion. He’d seen Finnegan do it a few times. The first by accident, the others… well. Finnegan was an enthusiastic pyromaniac. Draco tried to avoid him, as a rule. It had less to do with his infuriating Gryffindor-ness and more to do with safety.

He gazed at the small jar in his hand, wondering. How best to go about this? The sound of approaching footsteps startled him, and he hurriedly replaced the jar as another student entered the dim cupboard, blinking owlishly behind ridiculous lenses.

Draco felt his lips curl into a slow smirk. Congratulations, Potter, he thought. You just volunteered to make things interesting. He shivered in delicious anticipation, wondering whether to make his meddling known. No — there was always the chance that Granger would stick her over-large nose into it and spoil his fun. He’d just have to content himself with the knowledge that he’d been the one to cause their mishap. Though, knowing Potter, it wasn’t likely that he’d cast the blame on anyone else. History had proved that if there was anything he could blame on Draco he would, with relish.

“Potter,” he said, raising a brow as he eyed the other boy. He looked so tired lately, as if all the fight had drained out of him, leaving him an empty shell. He racked his brains for an insult that would knock Potter out of that stupor. “Granger actually trusts you to get the ingredients?” he asked, shaking his head in mock alarm. “Surely she realizes she’s jeopardizing her grades?”

Potter’s eyes flashed warningly, and Draco tensed in anticipation of finally getting a rise out of him, but the fight drained out of his face as Draco watched. It was wrong. He’d thought he’d be relieved at not being tormented or shunned by Potter this year, but this was just wrong. Potter was supposed to be brimming with rage and fire and passion. Draco felt his stomach turn over with a strange, slow flop, but ignored it. It wasn’t important just now. Potter was important. Sparking Potter’s fire was important.

Potter just shrugged, world-weary and listless, and quietly asked Draco to pass the murtlap. Draco didn’t think. His hand shot out and he snatched the illegibly-labeled bottle of lacewing he’d been eying earlier. He held his breath, hoping Potter wasn’t watching, that he wouldn’t notice the switch.

Potter didn’t look at him, just nodded as he accepted the bottle and moved back toward the light of the classroom.

Draco blinked, watching him walk away. He was a mess of roiling emotions, of frustration at Potter not responding to his taunts, relief at not being punched in the face, anticipation for what was to come. He shivered, letting the anticipation take hold, then grabbed the last jar he needed and hurried back to his seat. He didn’t want to miss the imminent explosion.

“Draco?” Pansy asked warily, as he returned to their desk with the ingredients. “What happened?”

“Hmm? Oh, nothing.”

She scooted away from him, the legs of her chair scraping across the flagstones. “Well, whatever it is, don’t get me involved. I’ve not had any detentions yet this term and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Draco shrugged. He didn’t want her help anyway. He wanted the satisfaction of finally getting a rise out of Potter all to himself.

Nothing happened for several minutes. The students measured and mixed, murmuring about the changing appearance of their potions and taking notes. Draco left the majority of brewing to an exasperated Pansy. He was too busy watching Potter adding ingredients to his cauldron.

Potter picked up one of the last jars left on his desk, tipping it over the gently bubbling cauldron. Draco leaned forward, trying to see if it was the lacewing.

“Draco! What on earth are you—”

He waved her off, not taking his eyes from Potter, ignoring her heavy sigh.

It was the lacewing, he was sure of it. The powder was tipping forward, right at the lip of the jar, and—

“Harry!” Granger lunged at him, trying to knock away his hand, but she was too late. Draco stood up abruptly and moved closer, watching in delight as the powder fell into the cauldron, settling for a moment on the sludge-brown surface — wait, Draco thought, feeling an icy finger of dread creep up his spine, it’s not supposed to be that color, is it? — and then they melted into it, spreading a golden lacy layer atop it, and he stared, fascinated. He’d never seen anything quite like it.

And then everything happened at once.

Granger’s grasping hand knocked Harry’s arm. The rest of the lacewing fell into the potion. For a second, nothing happened, and then it sucked inward and erupted with a sickening glop all over Potter and himself.

Granger escaped the muck, tumbling backward into Weasley’s arms, and Draco scowled as he wiped the brown goo from his face. It really wasn’t fair, how all of his schemes ended up backfiring. But even that frustration was familiar and oddly comforting.

Professor Slughorn approached, waving his arms in alarm, and hovered over Potter, turning occasionally to scowl darkly at Draco, then finally bundled them both off to the hospital wing.

Pomfrey listened to his rant, seemingly quietly amused, and then sent Slughorn away and turned to examine him and Potter.

“Well, boys,” she said, after running several tests, “you appear to have escaped harm this time. I feel I really ought to thank you for livening up my afternoon. It’s been duller than a blast-ended skrewt’s love life here lately.”

Draco snorted in amusement, surprised at the wan conspiratorial grin Potter flashed him. It faded quickly, though, leaving Draco feeling oddly empty.

“Come along Potter,” he drawled, “wouldn’t want you to miss dinner on my account. You’re far too thin as it is.”

Potter studied him, an odd expression on his face, and Draco racked his brain for an insult to hurl at him, just to put them back on familiar ground. But his mind had gone curiously blank, and eventually, he turned with a sniff and dramatic whirl of his robes that did little to reassure him as he stalked toward the Great Hall.

Why could Potter still get under his skin like no one else? From the moment they’d met he’d felt like Draco’s personal tormentor. His eyes darted to Potter’s face, quite without his permission. Somehow he’d caught up to Draco, and now they were walking in step, the squeak of Potter’s worn-out trainers mingling with the crisp slap of expensive leather on stone.

Draco grit his teeth. Potter was smiling at him, that lopsided smile that always sent Draco’s stomach into slow flips, though it wasn’t usually directed at him.

Draco pressed his lips together firmly, determined not to smile back. He didn’t know what Potter was doing, but they were not friends, and he wasn’t going to let his guard down that easily. Potter, seemingly reading his mind, shrugged as if it didn’t matter to him one way or the other, and turned away as the entered the Great Hall, veering toward the Gryffindor table and leaving Draco feeling as if the stones under his feet weren’t quite as solid as they appeared.

“So,” Blaise asked as he sat down, nudging Draco in the ribs. “What happened?”

Draco frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t be coy, Draco,” Pansy drawled, “it doesn’t suit you. You and Potter have been gone for ages.” She raised one carefully stenciled brow, and Draco sighed.

“Drop it, Pansy. Nothing happened. Pomfrey just insisted on running as many tests as she could think of.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And, what were the results of your little… experiment?”

Draco shrugged. “Nothing. A bit disappointing, really. I’d hoped for an explosion.”

“From Potter or his cauldron? Oh, don’t look at me like that. You’ve been itching for a fight with him since we got back.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Draco rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the stiffness that had been building there, and turned his attention to his food. The only way to shut Pansy up was to ignore her so thoroughly that she gave up. After several minutes of pointedly focusing on his plate, she huffed in annoyance and turned her back to him, joining Blaise and Daphne in some inane conversation Draco had no interest in.

It was like it had never happened — those last, horrible years. They were all pretending so very hard that he thought some of them had started to believe it. He didn’t want to forget it, didn’t think he could. Maybe it was different for them. They hadn’t let Death Eaters into Hogwarts. Hadn’t tried to kill Dumbledore. Hadn’t had the sodding Dark Lord living in their home, commandeering their bedroom to house some of his more loyal followers.

As usual, the thought of Greyback and Aunt Bella left Draco’s mouth tasting of ash. He shoved his plate away, suddenly unable to stomach even the thought of food, trying to shove the memories away with it.

“Excuse me,” he said, not caring that he had interrupted Pansy mid-sentence. “I’m not feeling well, after all. Think I’ll go sleep it off.”

“Draco? You don’t look so good — should we take you to the hospital wing?”

He waved her off, needing to get away from the food, the chatter, the overwhelming press of people in the Great Hall. “No. No, I just— I just need to rest, I think.”

He turned, stumbling a little as he hurried out of the room, wanting nothing more than to fall into bed, sneak another sip from the vial he kept under his mattress and let the arms of Dreamless Sleep claim him.

Part 1 (You are here)~ Part 2~ Part 3~ Part 4~ Part 5~

You can also read on AO3, FF, Wattpad

[will-you-drarry-me]

Game Changers

Harry’s not really sure what he’s expecting when Malfoy shows up to Hogwarts after The War. Definitely not that. 

~2k

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“Malfoy what the hell?” If Harry had trusted in Divination he would have said this was a terrible omen for his final year at Hogwarts. Harry wasn't the only one surprised to see him. There was an outbreak of murmuring as Draco Malfoy had strolled nonchalantly into the entrance hall the morning after the sorting ceremony. He looked in the directions of Harry’s exclamation and merely smirked and headed off to his first class of their so-called 8th year. As it happened that also turned out to be Harry’s first class. When he walked into advanced potions he was surprised to see Malfoy already sitting in front of his cauldron with his book out. Though he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that Malfoy had enrolled in the class he had always performed best in. Harry was burning with curiosity and before he could rethink his decision he plopped himself down next to Malfoy. The other boy barely even reacted. “Potter,” he greeted with a kurt nod. He was engrossed in his potions text. “Uh, hi,” Malfoy snorted and finally looked up from his book “Eloquent as always Potter. I really missed that Grade A wit,” Though it lacked the usual venom from years previously and it was accompanied by a smile. Harry stared at him with his mouth open. He hadn’t seen, heard from, or heard about Malfoy since he had testified at Malfoy and his mother’s trials during the rebuilding period after The War. He only did so because he knew it was the right thing to do and definitely not because he still thought about Malfoy more often than would be considered strictly necessary. Both their actions had allowed him to survive and kill Voldemort. It was only right that they didn’t rot in Azkaban. Though he was glad Lucius would. After the trial ended he and Malfoy had exchanged a few polite words and Harry had returned his wand. After that Harry had never expected to hear from him again. Now here he was teasing Harry like an old friend. “Earth to Potter, are you ok?” Harry was snapped back to his senses and realized he had been staring straight ahead for a full minute. “Oh sorry you just took me by surprise I guess” “You came over to me?” “Oh. Uh. Yeah you’re right” Malfoy smiled and rolled his eyes “What did you want Potter?” Oh right. He’d come over here for a reason. “Want to be partners?” Malfoy’s cheerful and friendly exterior seemed to fade away for a moment to reveal something Harry couldn't quite place. “Why?” he asked suspiciously. Oh. That look had been insecurity. That was not a look he was used to seeing on Malfoy. It was oddly endearing. “Because” Harry replied quickly “You’re way better at potions than me and I need all the help I can get,” This wasn’t entirely true. His original intention had been to ask Malfoy why the hell he came back to Hogwarts but this new Malfoy was almost...pleasant. And it was true that Malfoy could help him do well this year. Malfoy beamed “You know Potter, I’d have killed to hear an admission of my superiority years ago. Who would have thought it would happen as soon as I stopped caring,” Harry tried to suppress a grin, along with an odd stirring that seemed to be related to how nice Drac- er, Malfoy’s smile was. Wow, where did that come from? Harry went to gather the ingredients and the rest of class went off without a hitch. That is if sometimes getting distracted by Malfoy’s piercing grey eyes and blushing furiously when he smiled at him weren’t considered a hitch. After class they were still chatting and suddenly Malfoy got very quiet. “What’s up?” Harry was slightly concerned about the sudden tone shift. Had Malfoy just been messing with him and was really still his old snobbish self? And if so why was Harry so upset about it? “I’ve been putting off  an apology” he replied with his hands fumbling in front of him as he stared determinedly at his shoes. “But you really deserve one from me. For how I acted during The War and before and-” “Stop.” Harry held up his hand. Before today he would have loved to make Malfoy grovel for forgiveness. However their conversations that day as well as the one after the trial and the fact that he had attempted an apology was enough to convince Harry Malfoy had grown up. He had realized that he just didn’t want to put him through that. Hm. Maybe he had matured too. “We both did things we’re not proud of” Harry paused for a moment and shuddered slightly thinking of sectumsempra “But I forgive you if that’s what you want,” Malfoy looked beyond relieved and Harry idly wondered what he could do to make Malfoy look that happy again. He quickly shook that thought out of his head and then looked back at Malfoy “Alright Draco, lets head to lunch” Draco looked shocked but pleased at the switch to his given name but seemed to think of something that quickly deterred him “What about the Weasel and Granger?” Harry had already thought of that. He offered a small smile and replied “They might be a bit stunned but I’ll vouch for you. After all you’re new and improved,”     That seemed like enough for Draco as he chuckled and traipsed along after Harry to the Great Hall. A little while later, after Draco had apologized to all of Harry’s friends, (Ron had taken a little longer to accept than Hermione Ginny and Luna, old habits die hard) conversation was roaring at the Gryffindor table and everyone discovered to their astonishment that the now humbled Draco Malfoy fit in with their group very well. He was very funny when his jokes weren’t at someone else’s expense and he seemed to have a flair for storytelling. By the time desserts appeared on the table everyone was laughing with Draco as if he’d been in the group for years. Harry wasn’t quite listening however. He was enticed by Draco and he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away even for a second. Ginny had broken up with him after they made an attempt at a relationship after The War. She had taken pity on him; she could tell his heart just wasn’t in it but knew that he was too noble to ever leave her. I occurred to him that the way he felt about Draco after today could have something to do with that but that was a conversation to have with himself in the future. The far future. Feelings were never his strong suit. Draco caught him staring and gave him an adorable smirk. Harry figured he better join the conversation so as to not seem any more abnormal than he actually did. He could feel his friend's eyes on him as they followed Draco’s gaze and he blushed. “This is just bizarre” he blurted out “us talking like we’re friends ya know? Who would have thought?” he finished with a weak chuckle. Draco seemed to realize he was just talking for the sake of talking but slowly an evil grin spread over his face. It made Harry very nervous for some reason. “Oh really Potter? We’ve never talked as friends before?” His grin was positively wicked now and Harry felt himself break into a sweat. He reached for his pumpkin juice in order to diffuse the tension. He had no idea where Draco was going with this. Everyone was staring at them in anticipation. It seemed whatever was about to be said would be groundbreaking. Suddenly Hermione’s eyes got huge as if she knew what Draco was going to say a second before he said it. “Not even on Christmas during second year?” The response was astounding. While Ginny and Luna merely sat there looking puzzled, Hermione burst out laughing, Harry spit his mouthful of juice all over the table and Ron gasped, inhaling the pudding he was eating and choking. Draco was warmly guffawing as Hermione thumped Ron on the back repeatedly. Harry finally gets over his shock and slowly starts to allow himself to appreciate how funny it really was. “You knew it was us and you never said anything?” Harry struggled to get it out through laughter. “I knew one day it would come in handy” With that statement Harry finally lost it. He folded in half with laughter and when he could finally speak again he was wiping tears from his eyes. “You were a conniving bastard even at the age of twelve” which earned him another dazzling smile along with an eyebrow wiggle (Merlin, have mercy) “If we were all noble Gryffindors life wouldn’t be any fun” Draco retorted. The rest of dinner was spent explaining to Ginny and Luna exactly what had happened on Christmas six years ago, from both points of view.     After dinner Draco fancied a walk around the grounds, claiming he wanted to look at the Quidditch pitch to make sure it was acceptable, even though the returning 8th years couldn’t play for their house teams. When Harry offered to accompany him. He had a mischievous look in his eye when he agreed. They walked in a comfortable silence for a while before Harry’s burning question left from him “How did you know it was us?” Draco looked exasperated but chuckled as he said “For Merlin’s sake Harry, you literally started to turn back into yourselves while I was talking to you. How many red haired sidekicks do you think I’m acquainted with? Then I found Greg and Vince asleep in a closet later. Not to mention Granger was half cat the next day and that’s transfiguration way beyond anyone we knew at the time so it had to be a potions accident,” Harry was gaping up at him, mouth hanging open. He couldn’t believe he and Ron had thought they were so slick. And here Draco figured it out that quickly. “Wow,” he finally said “I knew you were brilliant but I didn’t know you were that brilliant,” He shook his head in utter disbelief. “I’m glad to hear you say that” Draco shot back at him quickly. He looked like he was stealing himself to do something. “Because I’m about to do something pretty damn stupid,” Before Harry had time to process this statement the taller boy had grabbed his chin and bet down to press his lips firmly against Harry’s. Harry’s breath caught for just a moment before he melted into the kiss, deepening it and wrapping his arms around Draco’s shoulders, tangling his hands in the fine white-blonde hair that was glowing in the setting sun. He had know idea how long this went on for but when he pulled away he was breathing like he’d just run a marathon. As he started into those grey eyes he allowed his happiness to show across his face, and saw it mirrored in Draco’s. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” the blonde boy said breathlessly, and then a pink tinge crept up his face as he realized he’d said it out loud. “Well then you’re very lucky” Harry said cheekily while he linked their fingers together and started to drag Draco forward to continue their walk. “Because only earlier today did I realize that kissing you was what my life was missing,” and he winked at Draco. They returned to the comfortable silence, strolling around the grounds in the fading light, hand in hand, sneaking kisses every few paces. As they returned to the castle Harry looked down at the pale, delicate fingers in between his own tanned calloused ones.        If Harry had trusted in Divination he would have said this was an amazing omen for his final year at Hogwarts.

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 Guys this is my first ever fic so if you liked it please let me know and if you didn’t let me know what I can do better xoxo -Sarah

[quotespicture]

New Post has been published on https://quoteswithpicture.com/90-success-quotes-you-ought-to-have-tattooed-on-your-arm/

90 Success Quotes You Ought to Have Tattooed On Your Arm!

Today we have 90 of the Beefiest Success & Motivation Quotes you should have tattooed on your body.

Add these quotes on your wallpaper, iPhone, or anywhere else you’d read through them and live by these religiously. Without a doubt these quotes are also ideal for tattoos to motivate you for extreme success!

Below are 90 Success Quotes You Should Have Tattooed On Your Arm:

1. “When it looks impossible and you are ready to quit, victory is near!” – Tony Robbins

2. “Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” – Jerry Rice

3. “Losers quit when they’re tired. Winners quit when they’ve won.” – Unknown

4. “The Man Who Has Confidence In Himself Gains The Confidence Of Others.” – Hasidic Proverb

5. “To get something you never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.” – Unknown

6. “Some people dream of success… others stay awake to achieve it.” – Unknown

7. ”You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzky

8. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs

9. “Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” – Michael Jordan

10. “It took us so long to realize that a purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” – Kurt Vonnegut

11. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

12. “You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” – Beverly Sills

13. “Do what you can with what you’ve got wherever you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

14. “Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” – Henry Van Dyke

15. “It is not length of Life, but depth of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

16. “See the Invisible, Believe the Incredible, Achieve the Impossible.” – Joel Brown

17. “You build walls & boundaries when you give into your mind. Fear nothing & take control of who you are & who you are meant to be” – Joel Brown

18. “We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” – Tim McGraw

19. “Laughter is the music of life.” – Sir William Osler

20. “In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.” – John Lilly

21. “Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward.” – Unknown

22. “Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.” – Cicero

23. “In the giving-is the getting.” – David Matoc

24. “The impossible is often the untried.” – Jim Goodwin

25. “Anyone can become angry-that is easy, but to become angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not easy.” – Aristotle

26. “Character, in great and little things, means carrying through what you feel able to do.” – Goethe

27. “Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” – Will Rogers

28. “My religion is very simple, my religion is kindness.” – Dalai Lama

29. “The important thing is to not stop questioning.” – Albert Einstein

30. “It’s not your circumstances that shape you, it’s how you react to your circumstances.” – Anne Ortlund

31. “The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln

32. “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” – Buddha

33. “It takes strength to be gentle and kind.” – Stephen Morrisey

34. “A hero is a person who does what he or she can.” – Roman Rolland

35. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matter compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

36. “Where there is unity there is always victory.” – Publilius Syrus

37. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – E. Hubbard

38. “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort

39. “Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” – Victoria Holt

40. “It’s not denial. I’m selective about the reality I accept.” – Calvin

41. “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” – Madeleine L’Engle

42. “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” – Mother Teresa

43. “I like nonsense,it wakens up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.” – Dr. Seuss

44. “A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” – Herm Albright

45. “Nothing is worth more than this day.” – Goethe

46. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

47. “If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.” – M.H. Alderson

48. “Life is like a ten speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.” – Charles Schultz

49. “There is nothing permanent except change.” – Heraditus

50. “The miracle is this; the more we share, the more we have.” – Leonard Nimoy

51. “Out of clutter, find simplicity; from discord, find harmony; in the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

52. “Hope is like a road in the country. There never was a road; but, when many people walk together, the road comes into existence.” – From the National Organization for Rare Disorders, Inc.

53. “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. Especially when that time will pass you by anyway.” – Unknown

54. “Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” – John Updike, 1989, U.S. author & critic

55. “Our greatest glory is not failing, but in rising every time we fail.” – Confucius

56. “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” – John Wooden

57. “Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are.” – Henry Van Dyke

58. “A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.“ – Jonathan Swift

59. “The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow.” – Unknown

60. “Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball.” – Mitzi Chandler

61. “The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It;s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the wind and rains and the scorching sun.” – Napoleon Hill

62. “It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” – Lena Horne

63. “Keep you face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.” – Helen Keller

64. “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward your always in the same place.” – Nora Roberts

65. “A good hand and a good heart are always a formidable combination.” – Nelson Mandela

66. “There are two ways of exerting ones strength; one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.” – Booker T. Washington

67. “Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” – John Maxwell

68. “A person that values it’s privileges above its principles soon loses both.” – Dwight Eisenhower

69. “It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” – Robert H. Goddard

70. “Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

71. “We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.” – Sir Winston Churchill

72. “It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret” – Jackie Joyner-Kersee

73. “We all have a few failures under our belt. It’s what makes us ready for the successes.” – Randy K. Milholland

74. “Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.” – Anonymous

75. “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – The Dalai Lama

76. “A difficult time can be more readily endured if we retain the conviction that our existence holds a purpose – a cause to pursue, a person to love, a goal to achieve.” – John Maxwell

77. “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” – Albert Einstein

78. “The faintest ink is better than the best memory” – Unknown

79. “Every dog must have his day.“ – Jonathan Swift

80. “Dear tomorrow, do whatever you want to do. I have already lived my today and I am not afraid of you anymore .” – Unknown

81. “The Pessimist Sees Difficulty In Every Opportunity. The Optimist Sees Opportunity In Every Difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

82. “Don’t Let Yesterday Take Up Too Much Of Today.” – Will Rogers

83. “You Learn More From Failure Than From Success. Don’t Let It Stop You. Failure Builds Character.” – Unknown

84. “It’s Not Whether You Get Knocked Down, It’s Whether You Get Up.” – Vince Lombardi

85. “If You Are Working On Something That You Really Care About, You Don’t Have To Be Pushed. The Vision Pulls You.” – Steve Jobs

86. “People Who Are Crazy Enough To Think They Can Change The World, Are The Ones Who Do.” – Rob Siltanen

87. “Failure Will Never Overtake Me If My Determination To Succeed Is Strong Enough.” – Og Mandino

88. “Entrepreneurs Are Great At Dealing With Uncertainty And Also Very Good At Minimizing Risk. That’s The Classic Entrepreneur.” – Mohnish Pabrai

89. “We May Encounter Many Defeats But We Must Not Be Defeated.” – Maya Angelou

90. “Imagine Your Life Is Perfect In Every Respect; What Would It Look Like?” – Brian Tracy

Which one of these quotes do you like the most?

[thegerd367writing]

What the actual fuck is thistle wart, though?

The potion Sahara was trying to brew was not going well. "Where the hell am I supposed to get vanishing powder made of thistle wart and frog nail? Are those even real things?"

Mindy put down her book and stood up from the armchair in the waiting area. She walked over to the counter and looked Sahara in the eye. "Get your keys. I know a guy."

Forty eight minutes and a descent through a creepy staircase later, Sahara found herself in the most jam-packed all-purpose witch shop she had ever been in. Or seen. There was more stuff in here than Sahara thought was possible. Or rather, there was so much stuff in the room and Sahara thought it should spontaneously combust from simple friction. But it didn't. And there was space to walk. The shelves went straight up to the ceiling and were covered on the sides with hanging accouterments of all kinds from stuffed dead animals to dream catchers to just actual stuffed animals. There was a sign hanging from the ceiling with an arrow pointing deeper into the store that read "books." The counter to the left of the entrance had a variety of bottled liquids, but the center piece was a giant bottle labeled "Juan Santos' Pure Tequila 100 Proof." There was a living rattle snake swimming around inside.

A little bell rang as they crossed the threshold and an oily man who looked to be in his mid-thirties came around a corner, looking in a bag. "Hello and welcome to The Shack of Sundry--oh, hello Mindy. Who's your friend?"

"Hey Vince. This is Sahara. She needs vanishing powder or something." Mindy turned to look at Sahara, putting her hand on her shoulder. Her hand was warm. Sahara liked it when Mindy showed affection through physical contact. It didn't happen often, but it was important. "I'll be back looking at the lore books. Let me know when you're done, kay?"

Sahara nodded and smiled. Mindy walked off. The store keeper, Vince, watched her go. Then turned back to Sahara. "I don't recall her bringing a friend here since. Well. Ever. You must be very special. How do you know our young mistress?" Vince tossed the bag he was holding to the counter, where it slid and fell off the other side. It made a distinctly louder thunk when it hit the floor than when it hit the counter.

Sahara, not one to be intimidated, looked Vince in his eyes bloodshot eyes. He was very pale. "We just started dating a couple weeks ago."

Vince's mouth dropped open. "Oh fuck." He turned to look the way Mindy had wandered off. "Really? Hot damn."

"Never met a lesbian before?"

Vince snapped his attention back to Sahara. "Well, yes, but Mindy's bisexual, so that's a moot point. Unless you meant yourself?" He slapped himself in the forehead. "Ah! Idiot. I'm being incredibly rude. Apologies." He held out his hand to Sahara. "I am Vincent VinVidcti Villatora. Vince to my friends; and any friend of Mindy's is a friend of mine, so you may call me Vince."

Sahara cautiously took his hand. She couldn't get a read on this guy. "Nice to meet you, Vince. I'm Sahara Stalton. If you don't mind my asking, how do you know Mindy?"

Vince looked hurt. "She didn't tell you?" He scratched the back of his head and looked back where Mindy went again. "Well if she brought you here, and you're dating her, she must be okay with you knowing. Probably expects me to tell you some it it for her. Easily for her that way." He nodded to himself.

"If it's private, that's fine, I was just sort of hoping you weren't an ex." said Sahara.

Vince let out a hearty bellows laugh. "Oh that's rich. No. I've know young miss Mindy for more than a decade, but she's a bit young for my taste. No, no. We met at group."

"Group?" asked Sahara.

"Thursday nights?" Vince raised an eyebrow then grimaced when Sahara shrugged. "Ah. She hasn't told you about that yet, either. Well." He paused. "Well you see that bottle there?" He pointed at Juan Santos' bottle. "I keep that there to remind myself that I can always have a drink whenever I want, but it will kill me."

"You're an alcoholic?"

"Yes."

"So, you met at ‘group’?"

"Yes."

"Mindy's an alcoholic?" Sahara's eyes went wide. "But we had a glass of wine last night. Did I--" Vince took a couple steps closer, waving his arms in a calming gesture.

"No no no no no no. Not alcohol. She... well it's definitely her job to tell you specifics. But let's just say that I didn't let her wander around my store without supervision until three years ago."

"What happened three years ago?"

"Ten years sober is an important milestone." said Vince.

"Oh. So..." Sahara looked around the store as her mind worked through the clues Vince had given her. Then she looked back to where Mindy had gone. "Oh."

"Indeed. So, anyway, what was it that you needed? Not that I mind my favorite customer coming to show off her new significant other, but Mindy did mention you needed vanishing powder?"

"Ah, right." Sahara shook her head and got the list of ingredients out of her pocket. "I don't know what half of this crap is, but the vanishing powder is puzzling. I’m mostly used to making stuff like super coffee and treatments for erectile dysfunction."

"Well I have eighty three types of vanishing powder. Please, follow me." Vince headed off down one of the rows. "What do you need it for?" he asked.

"I was hired to make a potion to paint a house without labor."

"Oh my, how extravagant..."

---

On the way back, Mindy was quiet. Sahara broke the silence.

"So... how long have you known Vince?"

"About twelve years." Mindy stared out the passenger window. "Did he tell you?"

"He told me you met in AA, or whatever the equivalent of that is that you attend. That's where you go on Thursday nights?"

"Mhmm." said Mindy. It was nice of her to vocalize instead of just nod. Sahara didn't like to take her eyes off the road.

"I'm here to listen whenever you want to talk about it, Mindz." said Sahara.

Mindy was quiet for a while. She played with the flower air freshener on the passenger vent. "Not right now."

"Okay." said Sahara. "Whenever you're ready." Sahara lifted her right hand from the steering wheel for a brief moment, before putting it back. She wanted to reach over to Mindy and hold her hand, but she knew Mindy got uncomfortable if she didn't have both hands on the wheel.

Mindy shifted sitting positions and leaned on the armrest instead of the door. She grabbed Sahara's sleeve.

Sahara smiled. She might not know everything about this girl now, but she was learning. And every second between facts was worth it.

[gloriacumming43-blog]

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[chucksandjeans]

Hawaeeeee

October 16

We started the trip and early on the Monday and Ubered to the airport. Our Uber guy, Jermaine, was super nice and chatty which started our trip off right. It was pretty early at the airport but for some reason the border control line was super long and I had to line up by myself for 45 minutes or so. I think something must have happened because everyone was on high alert. It was a safe flight so that is all that matters. We had a short layover in Chicago where we stuffed ourselves with food and stole some cup noodles for the next 9 hour flight to Honolulu. This was a smart move because United did not give us food as it was considered a domestic flight (we’re going to try avoiding United from now on…). We watched Pacific Rim which ended up being amazing!

We finally landed in Oahu at around 2 in the afternoon and waited in line for our rental car. They didn’t have our compact car so gave us a Hyundai Santa Fe SUV and it was huge! But overall a fun ride. We quickly found the R&B / hip hop station, found some party jams (Bank Account – 21 Savage; Rake It Up – 21 Yo Gotti; Bodak Yellow – Cardi B; Young Dumb & Broke – Khalid) that stayed on repeat the entire trip. The freeway to our first resort, Aulani Disney, was on the west side of the island. We arrived around 4, got lei’d up properly, and found ourselves in a beautiful room overlooking the pool. Changing quickly into our swim gear, we walked around the beach / infinity pool / lazy river, ate some food, and made a reservation to eat at the restaurant downstairs. At 6 or so, we took a nap and set an alarm for 1 hour, just, as a power nap before dinner. However, the alarm didn’t ring and we woke up at 11 and missed dinner entirely. LOL! We kept sleeping.

October 17

The morning started off nice and early with some good, ol’ Mickey D’s (thanks jet lag). They served spam with the classic Big Breakfast and the most unexpected taro pie (they didn’t have the haupia pie). It was flaky, crispy and gooey inside – yum. We stopped by Pearl Harbour “just because” but it was a bit underwhelming despite its historic influence. The morning was still young so we quickly hopped on the highway and drove to the north shore. The Dole Plantation was our next stop and we got there just as it was opening. No lineups! We took a train ride around the plantation and ate some Dole Whip – it was delicious! So sweet that the pineapple stick on the side seemed sour in comparison, but perfectly cold for the hot day. The crowds and tour buses poured in after so we quickly drove to our next stop, the famous Giovanni’s Shrimp Truck. Celine had the original flavour (a garlic version) but I decided to try the spicy, which came with a warning that you couldn’t get any refunds for it. Big mistake because it was so HOT, I drank the entire bottle of Powerade. We then visited some nearby shops and continued driving along the north shore until we reached the Banzai Pipeline. This is where people surf Hawaii’s biggest waves! It was intense. In our sweaty clothes, we walked around the outlet shops and at night, drove back into Honolulu to eat at this amazing Japanese restaurant called Sushi Murayama. The 10-course omakase dinner was $75 per person and it was amazing and totally worth it! We left full and happy. There was plenty of food, super fresh ingredients, and an entertaining sushi chef. Vince can’t stop thinking about the king clam sushi we had. It was probably one of my best experiences eating. See our food video for highlights. Oh yea the car was parked in one of those automated stacked parking lots which was very cool! Very SF.

October 18

The agenda for this day was optimistic and we accomplished it all! Kick-starting it all was a drive through the rain across the island, through Honolulu and to the east end of the island to hike up the Koko Crater Railway Tracks. We thought starting early would allow us to finish before the sun hit its peak but unfortunately for us the sun started beating down on us as the thousands of steps slowed our pace. The tracks quickly turned from a comfortable walk to almost climbing vertically and at some points, it was dangerous to cross between rails. It was so hot, Celine felt a little lightheaded – definitely different from hiking in Scandinavia! Regardless, we made it to the top and the view was breathtaking from all sides. We saw the entire coastline and enjoyed the fresh air and celebrated our triumphant ascent to the top. Going down was another struggle LOL. By the time we got down it was lunchtime so we ate at a local sushi restaurant.

The next stop was Hanauma Bay to snorkel but the parking lot was full. We ended up driving the cost to the Lanai Lookout and made it all the way to Alan Davis Beach / Pele’s Chair. This tiny beach was certainly off the beaten path and was known for mini cliff diving. It was essentially an edge where you could jump into the ocean, and the rocks off the shore were big enough to block all oncoming waves. It was super fun and we got some great Go Pro shots! Afterwards, we chilled out at Sandy Beach, apparently the beach with the most number of injuries per year due to its dangerous waves. We sat on the beach and watched surfers get battered. Before dinner, we stopped across the resort to buy some magnets and then ate at the Makahiki Buffet inside Aulani. All-you-can-eat oysters! Poke! What a great spread. We tucked in for our last night in Oahu.

October 19

Our flight to Maui was in the early afternoon so we had some time to grab a bite in Honolulu after grabbing breakfast to go from the Ulu Café. We ate at Marukame Udon, one of Celine’s favourites, before taking a short flight to the next island. Our rental car here was a sedan so driving was easier. We got some shave ice, which had peach, strawberry and other citrus flavours, from Ululani's, dropped our stuff off at our hotel – the Maui Beach Hotel (ghetto AF) – and drove up Haleakala National Park to see the sunset. The rode up was very windy and took over an hour. By the time we got to the top, we had to fully gear up and wear every piece of clothing available. The parking was horrendous and most people just parked randomly in the lot or on the winding mountain road. The sunset was beautiful and I would have enjoyed it way more if I was freezing, literally. Vince even put up his hood. I was exhausted on the drive down the mountain and since we arrived at Mama’s Fish House (widely known as the best restaurant on the entire island) an hour before our booking, we took a nap. It was glorious. Much needed before our meal! The cocktail and plates were exceptional, and service was entertaining. I would definitely go back.

October 20

We found this amazing bakery / diner called Stillwell’s in Kahului and had breakfast there. We ordered spam and stuff and a baked good to celebrate Celine’s 28th birthday! Yay! Then we drove around aimlessly to look for the Lahaina Pali Trail but did not find it so ended up getting to Wailea Beach Resort earlier. We dropped down our stuff and went to the beach beside Turtle Town and relaxed a bit. The water was so nice but unfortunately we saw no turtles. Then we went back to the resort and got our room. It was so nice! Architecture and design was minimalist and contemporary and we loved it. We spent the next little while on the private Wailea Beach (which interestingly enough had no little rocks anywhere and had the most perfect sand bottom so you could wade out) and then changed to film our Save the Date video. The sound was prerecorded so we just had to do the video portion – a trade secret. It was a race against time because the sun was setting and every second counted! We finally found a great spot down near the water where the waves were crashing gently against the rocks. It turned out amazing, as predicted. Next we made our way to dinner at the Morimoto at the Andaz Hotel to celebrate Celine’s birthday! We had a fabulous meal of tuna, foie gras and duck, and it was great, but not as surprising and delightful as Murayama.

October 21

Breakfast was memorable this morning. We ate at Nalu’s South Shore Grill where I had an acai berry coconut flake granola bowl. SO AMAZING! Celine chickened out and got an ahi tuna benedict. Then we made our way up the north-west shore of Maui and passed by some really neat little towns. We stopped by the Lahaina Front Street and did some outlet / street shopping. Then we grabbed some poke from a highly-rated alcohol store on Yelp (Tamura’s Fine Wine), dropped off our stuff off at the Aston Maui Kaanapli Villas, and went to our pre-booked Old Lahaina Luau. The weather was perfect and we walked in as VIPs to the luau. It was a premium buffet that featured a roasted pig with a long show showcasing traditional dancing and chanting. It was really beautiful, watching the sun set in the background and having unlimited drinks…except for the men thrusting their junk everywhere during their solo dance and us sometimes getting cramps in our legs because we were sitting in the traditional style on the floor instead of at the tables and chairs. We drove quickly back to Kaanapali and settled in for the night.

October 22

We woke up a bit early to hit the beach first thing before the crowds. The water was a bit chilly but still fantastic. Packing up quickly, we grabbed food at Mickey D’s again before visiting the Dragon’s Teeth attraction beside the fancy, Ritz-Carlton Resort in north Maui. The rocks were jagged and impressive but the most impressive were the waves that devoured the rocks below. I did not want to fall in. Next, we drove up to see the Nakalele Blowhole and heart rock. The sun was brutal but we made it. Sweaty and stuff, we ate back at Lahaina at Longhi’s, and then found a public beach shower to clean ourselves before the flight home with the toiletries from the resort. We found a nice shower that was away from the crowds but still on the edge of the highway. The water was cold but all in all it felt great. Worth it! First time showering in public! Before the flight, we had to eat but Kahului was literally foodless. There was a highly rated sushi restaurant in a nearby town but we drove by and it looked sketchy AF. We ended up eating at Whole Foods: ramen, mochi and a delicious smoothie. Then we flew home.

Hawaii is awesome. We think it was our best trip to date, and thank goodness we both got a tan!