#AND THEN!!! BAM!!! PHONES AND TUMBLR ARE REAL!! RUN NOW!!
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hi i normally don't talk or interact with posts much because im shy BUT
first of all thank you all for the recent support on my art, genuinely means a lot to me
second of all (and something more funnier)
the recent surge of fake posts (basically the isat universe found access to tumblr) are so funny to me, because yes the existence of tumblr is VERY funny but PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING
imagine, the party is in the house
then maybe mirabelle goes like "haha sorry guys give me a second" AND PULLS A BLINDING IPHONE 13 PRO MAX
#i'm speaking hiii!!! hello!!#isat#in stars and time#there is something so funny about everything in the isat universe being fantasy themed#AND THEN!!! BAM!!! PHONES AND TUMBLR ARE REAL!! RUN NOW!!#also shout out to the isat community#yall are very funny#ALSO ALSO ALSO!!! never introduced myself hiii im deli nice to meet you all....#okay im done talking now
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the children on tumblr interacting and commenting on smut posts are in real harm. and not only that but it’s disrespectful to bluntly ignore somebody’s boundaries. but then again I don’t think people should publicly shame them on social media? i don’t know since i suppose realistically you can’t control who and what interacts with your posts and other creators calling literal 14 year olds a cunt is pretty obscene to me
TW: Mentions of Rape/SA/Predators—
I don’t love this new “no consequence” culture. Because there are consequences, and it’s good creators are showing such an aversion to these kids because WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARENT?!
I had living breathing grown ass men 10-20+ years older than me coming onto me when I was 14-15. These kids don’t know who is behind the blog and on these blogs.
People can be evil and scary, and sadly parents and schools are scared of teaching about it. I just think back to what I was doing at 15 and damn, I was worried about volleyball practice and my history grade. These kids who message me and shit don’t KNOW me, I could be anyone, and they are willingly throwing trust my way. How dumb is that? I could send a damn link and be like “here’s a secret fic I wrote since you loved this other one!” And bam, now I got access to their phone and all their shit. I don’t know why they aren’t more cautious? I was beaten on multiple occasions by my parents for nearly falling for the “my dog just had puppies if you want to see them!” trick.
“Public shaming” and “name calling” are slaps on the wrist compared to some nastiness real humans are capable of. Let them feel bad, let them have hurt feelings, I’d rather that than someone weaving into their life through the internet and their only purpose is to do the most horrible shit possible.
Let’s not act like the adults on here don’t know what I mean. I mean some 40+ fucking creep pedophile/predator could run a cutie pie princess Toji fucker blog and steal others work and use that like a lure to get a 14 year old to message them, befriend them, share “pictures” and all that shit, and promise to meet at the movies or somewhere that kid feels safe, and guess fucking what?
It isn’t. People might see this and say “that’s the oldest trick in the book!” And that’s the problem. It is the oldest trick now. There are new ones, and they’re better, more secure, and the likelihood of them failing is smaller. The real worries of the internet are what is obscene to me.
It’s not my job to educate the masses on real consequences, the kind that don’t go away like rape/sexual assault/and fucking murder. Yeah, a lot of kids taken are either sold or killed. anyway. I’m getting off my soap box lol. My damn blood pressure is up rn—
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business (yandere x reader) Prologue
warnings: swearing, ageplaying, obsession, unhealthy relationships
(A/N: dear gosh this writing I will admit is definitely not my best, but I still like the humor I started out with in this story. but here we go)
The heavy aura of flower perfume filled the office room making it feel like an over stuffed oven. The lights that lined on the ceiling were bright and blinding and if one would look too long their vision would be effected by the lights. The air conditioning wasn’t working so the smell of someone’s perfume was sticking around in an unwanted way. The sound of people occasionally clicking their mouses and someone sighing in annoyance about something was heard.
But then suddenly- there was a loud shout.
“Oh I can’t do this!” A young male shouted from somewhere before he leapt to his feet revealing his head a couple of cubicles away. But only his head was visible. Not any other part of his body was seen. Just his head. “I can’t go on pretending!” He continued to proclaim my it’s his head bopping to his words like some kind of desk you. “I love you, Stevie! Not Daniela! Only you!” A couple of workers had stopped doing whatever they were doing to look at the male with a sort of what the fuck expression. A few began to mumble saying that he had clearly lost it. But then after just a few moments from his proclamation of love, a gasp- that was somehow high pitched- was heard before another head popped up. But this time it was just the top of the head, not the whole head. This was the woman Stevie- who’s real name was Stephanie and no one knows why she insists on Stevie- and she was probably staring at Issac with a mixture of Disney Princess and wide eyed doe.
“Do you really mean it, Issac?” She asked with a southern draw that made her ‘you’ sound like ‘ya’ and she empathized on ‘mean.’ But her southern voice came out squeaky as she attempted to raise her voice.
“I mean it!” He shouted at the top of his lungs to her while extending his arms like some kind of pelican about to take flight. And as soon as his wondrous words met her ears, Stevie let out a squeal and the unfortunate people who were just trying to do their job plugged their ears.
Almost like magic was suddenly existing in our world, both of them dashed out from their cubicles at the same time. Then they were galloping towards each other. The ones that were able to watch the spectacle or were awake enough held their breaths as they waited for a collision similar to what would happen in a jousting match. But whether it be pure luck or- and I’m not going to say it was aliens- aliens, he hooked his arms around her waist and she threw her arms around his neck somehow at the same time. Then they were kissing in such a way that made the strong perfume smell be suddenly pleasant rather than overbearing. Music was dancing around them as they started to move their mouths in sync. Well actually the air conditioning turned on and someone’s phone was running a Backstreet Boy’s song.
But of all the cubicles they could have stopped and collided with each other at... they stopped at yours. You. A smile woman working in this office. You were the unfortunate one who had to watch and hear all of their lip smacking and sounds that were like those times you have a shake and just can’t seem to get the ice cream out. You were the one who had to just sit there and watch all of this. You sighed and rubbed your temples while turning back to the screen. You were trying to get work done- trying. It was kind of hard with the moans that Stevie was making at the moment. You seriously needed some ear plugs just to get your damn articule done. See you were a journalist for the Sharzet (odd name right?), an online newspaper that mostly targeted young adults and older teens while occasionally there would be a few articles aimed for an older generation. You were at the young and ripe and still nervous age of twenty- three so you didn’t consider yourself old... yet.
You had taken English as your major in college just to be a writer. You were ready to pour your heart out into a story and give it your all yet... it never came. So you decided to use your writing skills and grammar skills to use and apply for a job at the Sharzet. Surprisedly, you got the job and to be honest it wasn’t that bad. Sure you did have to do some late night editing when you would rather watch bad auditions on YouTube, but for the most part it wasn’t so bad. It had good pay and mostly nice people who were just trying to move along in life, same as you. Mostly. Besides the couple that were still somehow making out. God don’t they need to breathe? Like get some air in those lungs? Well the only air coming out was them moaning so maybe that’s how they were breathing. But honestly couldn’t they even get a room? Jeez.
Sighing, you rolled your eyes and pulled your hair over to one shoulder. You were just trying to get this articule done now. You could always go home, but... wait. Why should there be a but? Technically as long as you get the articule done, you can work wherever. You generally liked working in the office since it would keep your mind focused. But since those two clearly weren’t letting up anytime soon... maybe you should go home? Yeah... that sounded much more promising than hearing the remaking of Bonnie and Clyde right by you.
You shut down your laptop and closed it before placing it in your bag and standing up from the rolling chair. You stretched out your back with a satisfying pop before you pushed in the chair til it was underneath the desk. There we go. You pushed some of your hair from off of your forehead before exiting the cubicle while swerving around the pair as if they contained the Black Plague. And in your opinion- they were.
You started walking down the small hallway with the walls of cubicles. But you didn’t get more then a foot away from yours when you decided to stop in front of Ben’s cubicle. Now Ben was one of your work friends that you actually became close to. You and him hanged out multiple times during the week whether that would be going to lunch together or watching movies or going to the library since Ben just loved fantasy- and get this- romances that are set in the 1800s. Yes. I know. But he was a total sweetheart and would probably be the best boyfriend and husband to whomever got him. You cleared your throat to alert the dark skinned male of your presence as his back was hunched over a computer. Then he immediately straightened up and looked at you. And his signature, golden retriever smile came onto his face showing his white teeth that happened to look whiter against his skin. His sort of rosey cheeks also had freckles on them.
“Oh hey, (Y/n).” He said as his dark brown eyes just seemed to brighten at seeing you standing there.
“Hey. I’m gonna finish up at my house. So if boss asks just tell her I went home.” You told him as you slightly adjusted the bag containing your computer on your shoulder. It was actually an old beach bag of yours that you bought to go to the beach... but you never really did. So it was just... your computer bag.
“You’re leaving?” He asked as his thin eyebrows rose at hearing your words. Then he checked the leather watch on his right wrist. “But it’s not even four.”
“Yeah I know. But I would rather work at home then here with the remarking of Fifty Shades.” You said in a sort of dry tone as honestly you were all there for love and everything, but come on. That doesn’t mean you have to make out in your own fucking work place.
“What?” Ben asked confused and you just simply pointed down to the couple who... ooooh. Boss caught them and she just looked so done.
And you didn’t really feel like explaining the whole deal to mister tune out here so you just said, “See ya tomorrow.” And just yeeted yourself out of there. You were tired. But yet... you just needed coffee. Or oooh. A coffee nap. Like where you drink coffee and then go to sleep and then the coffee wakes you up? Yesss. Well you did that once and you didn’t wake up until two hours later so maybe it wasn’t the best thing to do.
As soon as you walked out of the building, you were hit in the face with a sudden mixture of both windy whoosh and rainy slap. You blinked a few times before you wiped your face off from the rain slap you just got. Ugh. Windy rain. The worst rain. But hey. Raining and stormy weather is the best writing weather. Or at least that’s what someone on Tumblr said. You dodged a couple of people walking down the sidewalk. Since the headquarters of the magazine you worked for lived in a rather populous city, you decided to just move here and get an apartment instead of making an forty- five minute drive each day. And the apartment you lived in was kind of nice as well for the low rent you paid for it. It was your home at the moment. And it felt nice to have a home.
But your thoughts were sudden kicked out of the window of your mind when you turned around a building and- bam! A new wall! Your hand reached out to grab onto something as you stumbled backwards. It happened all so fast. But then someone’s hand reached out and grabbed onto yours. You were suddenly stopped in mid fall while having yourself in a 50 degree angle. What. Then you noticed the pale hand clasped around your own before your eyes snapped up towards the male. And standing there was a man in maybe late forties or fifties with the most greenish eyes you have ever seen. There were pure green. You blinked a few times as you found myself now standing upright. You looked down at your feet to make sure everything was all right, but huh wow uh... this guy was strong.
“Uh thank you sir.” You nodded towards the brunet with graying temples and who was still holding your hand. You awkwardly looked back up at the male only to see he was staring intently down at you. Uh.... weird. Then once his green eyes met your (e/c), he snapped out of it.
“No problem.” He said curtly as he just let your hand drop. Wow okay. Then before you could even say anything else- he just steered himself around you like you were just an obstacle. You glanced over your shoulder to see him confidently striding off. Huh. That was... weird to say the least. But eh. There were weird people in your city and that guy probably was no exception.
Oh how wrong you were.
#yandere x reader#yandere#x reader#quotev#reader insert#ageplayer#ageplaying#horror#romance#oc yandere#original#insert#fiction
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Get the new phone up and running then-
Bam. Public Service Alerts for official Quarantine Order starting Thursday until April 17th.
Get most of the Apps (including this here Tumblr) then-
Wham. Seems like everybody had a stressful day based upon all the nsfw stuff being reblogged. If only that would happen in real life.
Started to stress some over all the slowdown, and lack of progress we had been doing. Now worried about getting paid. Been a while - actually during the last recession - when a paycheck bounced. Don’t want to feel that again.
So all in all. Low key panic, chest pains, and high anxiety today. I guess I’ll just dream about receiving a stress relieving bj tonight.
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SaL anon here friend with my (much shorter) episode science rant! So the most offending science babble award hoes to Shivani this episode because, in half a sentence she managed to word vomit 3 Very Wrong/Meaningless things. First, we have "alter the protein receptors to perform only some of their functions". Protein receptors have one function, they bind something. To put another way, they turn on, or they don't turn on, there is no sorta turn on. Next, we have the phrase "primary alpha helix".
SaL anon here again and dammit Tumblr did you have to eat the MIDDLE part?? But i can recover. So the 2nd RNM science sin I covered, "primary alpha helix" was another example of the writers stringing words they find cool together. Its the same as me saying "you could really brighten your house by painting the primary wall". The final violation was "strengthen the covalent bonds between amino acids in the protein" which for one thing you could do by making it not a protein. Tumblr don't eat this!!
SaL anon (pt 3) unpredictable and likely would destroy it). If you have to strengthen the bonds because the protein will be under some sort of strain, covalent bonds are the strongest interactions in the protein and will be the last go. Basically you'll obliterate most of the protein before those bonds break. As a bonus, the "equation" on the board that Liz was marveling over (RNM writers STOP boiling science down to a single equation!!) has nothing to do with any of what Shivani said. Enjoy!
First of all, I’m so sorry Tumblr hates us and ate the middle of your rant! Second of all, if there happen to be any clumsy thumbsy typos in your subsequent asks I try to catch and fix them, but in this case I am *delighted* at the typo and while it’s in the main ask so I can’t even consider touching it, I wouldn’t have anyway because seeing “science babble award hoes to Shivani” legit made me giggle.
Okay, so as someone who does not know science at all, I am BAFFLED that they get this stuff wrong simply because it HAS to be easier to just...look things up, right?! Like, I don’t understand how they could search for science words to use without consequently having to see some kind of context for what those words mean!
For example, say me, a person who knows nothing about cars, wants to write a fic about Michael being a mechanic. Will I probably get some things wrong? Yeah, for sure, because I don’t know anything about cars! BUT, since I don’t know anything, if I want to name a car part that Michael is working on, I’m going to have to look up the names of car parts. And in doing so, I will inevitably see things about those parts and what they do. I googled “carburetor and got this:
BAM! I now know at least a little something about this car thing and got a handy-dandy picture too!
So PLEASE tell me how they are writing equations and throwing out long sentences about science that are TOTALLY wrong? It just seems like it would be so much harder to fake information than to just...word-vomit back what Google has to say about something. All this to say, the writers room is mostly trash, and has always been mostly trash, and they deserved to be canceled.
Thanks for sharing your science knowledge with all of us! Hopefully Tumblr stops eating your asks now. I had a bit where it was blanking out the page when I was answering asks and I’d have to refresh and consequently lose everything I typed, so I had to start writing it down in word documents and pasting it or saving it as a draft right away and working from that. Which works because I usually answer longer ask from my tablet not my phone. My bran runs too fast for my clumsy thumbs to type on my phone, my real keyboard typing is sooo much better. Anyway, fingers crossed we’re done with that nonsense now!
#my sweet nonnie friends#sleeping at last anon#roswell nm#roswell spoilers#roswell nm my behated#roswell nm writers room my beloathed
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the tangled web of fate we weave: xi
because i literally can.not stand to work on my damn dissertation any more so... here we are. this chapter is close to 12k because i have no self control.
tumblr’s formatting still sucks and is a dumb so yes, carry on.
part x/AO3.
Wyatt Logan learns he is in trouble the way most busted husbands learn they are in trouble: his phone starts buzzing up a storm, falls off the side table, and when he gropes at it and picks it up, the first three words he sees are “Jess cell” and “TALK.” This is a combination to strike terror into any unsuspecting man’s heart, especially when he’s not quite certain what he did – what else, that is. He’s been in San Francisco for the last several days, he didn’t come home on Sunday like he promised, but he had a nice floral arrangement sent as an apology, and he’s gotten weirdly involved in this Rittenhouse hunt. For instance, he’s pretty sure that Bam-Bam’s dad is in it. Whether Bam-Bam knows about that is another question, as he seemed genuinely blank on it and Wyatt has known him long enough to be sure that he’s not that good a liar. But this means that there’s an operative in Rick Baumgardner’s swanky, high-powered law firm, and the operative’s son in Delta Force, which fits with the emerging pattern that Wyatt is discovering. Tons of important and well-connected people, embedded in just about every relevant government and military department – not necessarily pulling strings, but those strings aren’t far away if they feel like venturing a tug. Wyatt thought Flynn was crazy (frankly, the jury’s still out) but he’s not making this up. This is serious.
Wyatt’s valiant detective work, however, is currently of secondary importance. Still bleary-eyed, he swipes at his phone, then stares as a photo pops up in a text message. It’s him, out to dinner on Saturday night with Emma Whitmore, at the exact moment he was leaning in to hear her better. Unfortunately, from the angle of whatever vigilante mystery diner snapped the photo, it looks an awful lot like he’s leaning in for a kiss. He can almost, therefore, understand the string of angry texts from his wife. She sent the first one six hours ago. Uh-oh.
Sleepiness evaporated, Wyatt sits bolt upright and hits Call. He sags back against the hotel pillows as it rings, running a hand over his sandy stubble and cursing. He probably should have seen this coming, but – how did someone just happen to get hold of that picture and Jessica’s number, was there some old school friend who recognized him and decided to get the lowdown on the garden-variety dirtbag husband – but that’s not Wyatt, that’s not what happened, that’s not –
“Hello?”
Wyatt winces. It’s Jessica, and she definitely saw the caller ID. “Hey. Uh. You have a minute?”
“Do I have a minute? I’m the one who’s been texting you for six hours! By definition, I have had three hundred and sixty minutes! How about you, Wyatt? You have a minute to tell me what’s going on? Now that’s a question.”
“Jess, just – it’s not what it looks like, it was a business dinner. You don’t have to get so – ”
“Wow, so it’s the not what it looks like and women, so emotional! cards right out of the gate?” Jessica sounds even angrier. “Want to just go for the nothing happened, I swear and make it a trifecta?”
“Nothing did happen, it’s not – Jess, just let me explain, it – ”
“You stand there glaring and harrumphing whenever I talk to any guy – including my boss, that one time – and all of a sudden, I’m the irrational one when, after weeks of you vanishing and ducking out the back door, I get a mysterious text with a picture of you practically jumping down some glam redhead’s throat? If there – if there was someone you met overseas, and now you’re trying to keep it up now that you’re home, Wyatt, just – ”
“Jess! Jessica! I’m not cheating on you, Jesus!” Despite the fact that this is the truth, Wyatt is aware of a small voice in the back of his head, which is yelling, YOU BLOWING IT, SON. Getting angry is not his prerogative in this situation; it does look bad. “I told you, it’s for the investigation, her name’s Emma. It was just to – ”
“Yes,” Jessica says. “The investigation? The one you assured me you were still on? So I’m guessing you have another dazzling explanation for why Pendleton called the house yesterday and wanted to know where you were, since you got reassigned three weeks ago?”
Son of a bitch. Wyatt should likewise have seen that coming, but he figured they’d call him on his cell first. He has done the usual check-ins, but he hasn’t told them what he’s doing, and he may have missed the last several days, since he doesn’t think it’s a great idea to go straight from investigating a shady cult to waving beacons at the government. “Look, I – fine, some parts of it are. . . it’s complicated, but I swear, I swear, nothing happened. It was not a date. She was asking me about another guy, she wanted his number. She’s trying to get out of a bad situation, I wanted to help. That is the whole story.”
Once again, he can hear Jessica breathing but not answering, taking her time about it. Finally she says, “I’m not even sure I care at this point, honestly. We have barely had a real marriage in – who knows how long. Since at least the last deployment. I don’t want to be that nagging wife insisting you stay at home, but God, Wyatt. I’ve given you the world’s longest leash, a favor you have not returned, and you just keep lying, you keep dodging out, you – ” Her voice breaks, and she stops. He can hear her gulping, hand over her face.
Wyatt sits there feeling about two inches tall. He can’t even physically comfort her, if that was a thing she wanted right now, and he’s known all along that he was fucking this up, but kept justifying it in the name of the bigger picture. Which is not entirely inaccurate; Rittenhouse does seem to be a genuine threat. But the demands of the job, however valid, don’t always cover your ass when you’ve comprehensively fornicated the canine in the way he has, whether or not he meant to. He needs to get over himself, get off this case, and take a goddamn breath, before he hurts Jess any more. Platitudes and floral arrangements aren’t going to cut it. He needs to get home, or the next thing on the docket for them is divorce papers, and frankly, he’d probably deserve it.
“Listen,” Wyatt says at last. “I’m going to swing by Mason Industries and find Emma and see if I can get an explanation for this. Then I’m coming home right away. It’s a drive, I can’t get there immediately, but I should be back by tonight. You hear me? I promise.”
“Yeah.” Jessica sounds unutterably weary. “You’ve promised a lot, Wyatt. I suppose we’ll see if that extends to you turning up. I’ll leave dinner on. Surprise me.”
And with that, she hangs up.
Wyatt stares at the phone in his hand for a long moment, hoping he’ll feel better. He doesn’t. At last, he tosses it onto the nightstand and gets out of bed, heads to the bathroom, and bumbles through a half-assed shower. Wants to shave so he doesn’t look like a total mug, but doesn’t know if it’s the greatest idea to have something sharp near his throat, even (or especially) a Gillette three-blade Super Turbo Macho thing that Jessica bought him last Christmas. Mostly as a gag gift, but Wyatt likes it, all right. He finally manages a cursory scrape, only nicks himself twice, and dabs it off with toilet paper. Feels like the kid who ran away from home before he was old enough to properly shave, doing it for the first time in a dank truck stop bathroom that reeked of piss – but he’s fine. He’s not gonna spiral. He’s fine.
Wyatt pulls on his least wrinkled clothes and heads out. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say to Emma when he finds her – she has no more control over the fact that someone snapped an apparently compromising photo than he does – but obviously, he is not thick enough to think it’s coincidence. Rittenhouse might still have someone on her, watching her closely, keeping an eye out for any attempts at desertion or making contact with an outside source. Was that a warning, the proverbial horse head in the bed, and the next time, Emma goes sleeping with the fishes? If nothing else, Wyatt needs to warn her.
He pulls into the parking lot at Mason Industries and talks himself inside with only a little extra effort. Asking for Emma Whitmore, however, he is told that she is not there. She didn’t come into work on Monday, and hasn’t been in for the rest of the week. There was some sort of notice. Personal time, or family emergency. Very sorry, that’s all we know.
Wyatt barely restrains himself from hitting the counter in frustration. It is mildly comforting to hear that Emma took the initiative in disappearing (at least that’s what it sounds like) rather than waiting around to be nabbed, but it still leaves him with no clue about where that is or why, or how that picture came to exist. Or is it all just some giant –
Right then, before Wyatt can entirely finish the thought or remember what it was going to be, the glass hall doors swish open, and Rufus The Tech Nerd makes his reappearance. He’s juggling a stack of papers that look to be covered in complicated mathematical gibberish (Wyatt failed ninth-grade algebra, don’t look at him) and muttering to himself, but he screeches to a halt when he sees Wyatt. “Wait. You again?”
“Yeah. Me.” Might as well own it, Wyatt thinks grimly. “We still haven’t actually properly met. My name’s Wyatt Logan.”
“Rufus Carlin.” Rufus shifts his armload of papers enough to free up a hand for a shake, which he offers politely, but still guardedly. Given what’s been going on around this place recently, Wyatt doesn’t blame him. “You here to interrogate Connor again?”
“No, actually, I’m not. That coworker of yours I met the other day, the two of you were running some kind of tests. Emma, Emma Whitmore. I need to talk to her.”
Rufus blinks. “Emma? She – ”
“Hasn’t been in? Yeah, I heard.”
“So you always just turn up at high-tech labs planning to go through the whole workforce for answers, is that it?” Rufus doesn’t look impressed. “Emma and I work together, but we’re not buddy-buddy, I can’t tell you where she is. I did hear someone talking about it, they just said that she was gone and it was important. So?”
Wyatt supposes that technically, this is understandable. He did give Emma Flynn’s phone number and tell her to talk to him, and if she’s jetted off in hopes of doing that, she might not know about the picture situation anyway. He could actually call Flynn, but can’t quite summon up the desire to do that. Instead he says, “Okay, all right. But you don’t have just a few seconds, do you? To talk?”
“Do you have a warrant?” Rufus shoots back. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”
Belatedly, Wyatt realizes that a white lawman coming in here and throwing his weight around, even more or less politely, to a black scientist isn’t a good look, as if he thinks that Rufus – despite his clearly staggering intellect and well-paid tech job – is just another “hoodie kid” he can lord it over with impunity. “Hey,” he says, more humbly. “There’s just some weird shit going down recently, I’ve kind of gotten mixed up in it, and once I get some things straight, I will disappear and never darken your doorstep again. Okay?”
Rufus eyes him as if to say that he holds probably multiple PhDs, Wyatt does not need to dumb it down for him, but finally shrugs, indicating the papers. “I was just on my way out to bring these over to the guy who’s taking them to the JPL. So this isn’t a – ”
“Where are you headed?” Wyatt asks. “I’ll give you a ride.”
“And I really think it’s a great idea to get into a car with you?”
“Fair. But I – ” Wyatt struggles to think of one genuinely decent reason that Rufus, in fact, should. “It’ll save you gas money?”
Rufus almost looks amused, despite himself. Then finally, he shrugs. “The office is in San Jose,” he says. “Just a second, let me tell someone where I’m going and who I’m going with, in case I don’t come back.”
Wyatt raises an eyebrow, but wisely holds his tongue as Rufus goes off, then returns a few minutes later, tucking something into his pocket. “Fine. Let’s go. If you’re going to kill me, at least don’t play Motley Crue. Or Kid Rock. I’m not dying listening to that.”
“I’m not going to kill you, honestly.” Wyatt leads the way out to the parking lot and hits the clicker to unlock his truck, momentarily hoping that nobody has planted a pipe bomb under it while he was inside. It wasn’t that long, but it feels like that kind of day. Hoping to make friendly small talk, he adds, “These are going to the JPL?”
“Jet Propulsion Laboratory,” Rufus says. “In Pasadena. They do a lot of work for NASA. Us too.” He shrugs. “The Star Wars nerd in me still has a tiny inner meltdown coming to work every day, and I’ve had this job since I graduated from MIT.”
“Nice.” Wyatt glances at him; Rufus can’t be much older than he is. Maybe even a year younger. “I’m guessing you finished high school when you were what, fifteen?”
“Fourteen.” Rufus can’t quite keep the tinge of pride out of his voice. “Then computational science and engineering, and physics, all the way through. I’ve worked here for two years, but I’ve known Connor since I was in middle school. I owe him a lot.”
That’s clearly a veiled warning that he’s not going to be induced to turn on his boss, if Wyatt was thinking of squeezing him for more information. Wyatt’s not, though he is feeling decidedly intellectually outclassed. Technically, he’s not a high school dropout – he did his GED when he was twenty-one, and took a few classes at community college between postings. Plus he’s trained as an Army language specialist; he speaks four (Spanish, German, Urdu, and he can just about scrape by in Arabic). That, however, is definitely not on the same level, but he starts the truck and pulls out without anything exploding. Following Rufus’s instructions, he heads for 101 and merges onto the highway.
They’ve been driving for about ten minutes when Wyatt becomes increasingly aware that the black car two or three lengths behind them has taken every turn they have. That is not terribly suspicious – this is a major thoroughfare, and it’s Silicon Valley, black cars are everywhere – but Wyatt, for obvious reasons, is sensitive to the possibility of being followed. Just to be sure, he makes a few quick lane changes, cutting deftly in and out of the heavy flow of midmorning traffic. A pause, then the black car makes them too.
Wyatt’s pulse starts to pick up. This is obviously no place for a car chase, in the middle of a throng of civilian commuters, but he also doesn’t want to keep tooling on as if he hasn’t noticed anything. He keeps an eye on the freeway exits, speeds up, and throws them into a small break in traffic, abrupt enough to catch them both against their seatbelts. Been a while since he had to really bust out some moves. That is definitely a bad thing, not a good one.
“Dude!” Rufus yelps, as they take the exit ramp a great deal faster than recommended. “What the hell are you doing? It’s not for another three exits, and all of a sudden, I’m riding shotgun with Vin Diesel? I knew this was a bad idea!”
“Sorry,” Wyatt says tensely. “There’s some guys tailing us.”
Rufus twists around in his seat as if to look, but the black car has, for the moment, vanished. Or maybe it hasn’t; Wyatt didn’t get a good look at the license plate, after all, and there are several black cars presently behind them. He switches sharply out of a stalled queue at the off-ramp traffic light, gets honked at, and accelerates into the right lane. Fuck. He’s pretty sure that one there, coming down the pike, is their pursuers, and nips through a very dark yellow turn arrow, but not entirely fast enough to avoid notice. The mystery car is solidly in his rearview mirror, and a nice suburban avenue, with traffic lights at every intersection, is an even worse place for high-speed vehicular escapades. Shit. Maybe he bailed on the highway too soon.
Nonetheless, Wyatt Logan is a man of action, and this is the action in front of him. As Rufus grabs onto his seat with both hands and squeaks something that sounds like, “What the fuck,” they peel down Scott Boulevard, adroitly dodge a car coming out of a hidden drive, and push it as close as they can with the lights without outright running them. Wyatt can’t help the surge of adrenaline that pulses through him, almost tempted to whoop, though he’s very sure Rufus would not appreciate it. And if some yuppie in a Prius calls the cops to report some tool in a truck driving like, well, a tool, he will shortly not be in a whooping mood.
It takes a few more minutes of pretty fancy driving (if Wyatt says so himself) but they finally take several turns without the car reappearing. He’s pretty sure he can get into San Jose from here, even if Rufus is loosening his grip one finger at a time. Again he says, “The hell?”
“Sorry. I – used to drive a lot.”
“That’s not even what I meant. We just drag-raced through Santa Clara, and you’re – ”
“Look,” Wyatt says, finally daring to take his attention off the road for more than two seconds. “I told you there was some shit going down, remember?”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t realize that was the car-chase kind of shit!” Rufus glances edgily over his shoulder again. “How about you drop me off in San Jose, and I’ll just. . . call someone at the lab for a ride back to work, huh?”
Wyatt has to admit that he would probably want to do the same thing in Rufus’ position. There is not much talk for the next few minutes as he finds his way to the generic office complex where Rufus is dropping off the papers, turns in, and parks. As they pop their seatbelts with some relief, Wyatt says, “Hey, I’ll walk you in, all right? Just in case.”
Rufus opens his mouth, considers, apparently decides it can’t hurt, and nods, if grudgingly. They get out, enter the complex, and head upstairs, where Rufus finds where he’s supposed to go, dispatches the papers, and chats briefly with his JPL contact before they leave. It’s all very science-y and incomprehensible to Wyatt, but he can tell that Rufus lights up around it the way Wyatt himself does around cars, and has a moment of wishing they could be friends, despite the awkwardness of the situation. He doesn’t have any who aren’t also old squad mates, and it’s been a long time since he’s seen most of them. Don’t really keep in touch when they aren’t on deployment. You trust the guy in the foxhole next to you, but you don’t always kick back and order pizza and do the dude equivalent of braiding each other’s hair, either. And in a branch of the service like Delta Force, your buddies are a lot more ephemeral than jarheads who’ve been in the same platoon since the Flood. They get reassigned, they take different postings, they die. A lot of the time, you never even know.
Wyatt shakes his head, reminds himself that he still needs to get this over with and go home to his well-deserved chewing out from Jess. He offers to walk Rufus back and wait with him until his ride arrives, though he’s not sure if this is counterproductive in terms of getting Rufus away from him. Or if it’s just a question of –
They emerge into the parking lot, and stop short.
The black car that Wyatt was congratulating himself on escaping is parked next to his truck, and several men in suits are leaning against it. Two of them are clearly security, built like linebackers, and the third looks like the genial silver-haired man in prostate medication ads. (Wyatt just feels that’s how anyone would describe him.) He glances at them, still frozen in their tracks, and smiles. “That was some very impressive driving earlier, Mr. Logan.”
If there is a creepier way in all of existence to open a conversation, Wyatt doesn’t want to hear it. He has automatically reached into his jacket for his gun, but if he pulls it out, Thing 1 and Thing 2 are going to do the same, and that can’t go well. “I’m sorry, and you are. . .?”
“Cahill,” Prostate Medication Man says. “My name’s Cahill. Hello, Rufus.”
Rufus opens and shuts his mouth, throwing Wyatt a deeply betrayed look. Wyatt mouths I’m not with them, which he hoped was obvious from the Fast-and-Furiousing it, but he can’t blame Rufus for a little confusion. He has a very bad feeling that he knows exactly where they are from, but he takes half a sideways step toward Rufus, preparing to shield him if necessary. It’s only the fair thing. Rufus would not be in this situation (or would he?) if not of Wyatt, and he’s not going to let Rufus’s pessimistic (but possibly accurate) predictions of getting murdered come to pass. This is ridiculous.
That, however, does not have any bearing on whether or not it’s happening, and Rufus looks shaken and afraid. “Mr. – Mr. Cahill, sir. I work at Mason Industries, you can phone Connor Mason right now and he’ll send someone to prove it, I’ll give you his – ”
Cahill waves a hand. “Of course you work at Mason Industries. That’s why I’m here. You see, Rufus, I just need to make sure. Did you hand off those equations exactly as you received them, no alterations, no deletions? You – ” he glances at Wyatt – “you didn’t attempt to change or interfere with them in any way?”
“What the hell? No, I gave Rufus a ride over, I didn’t – ”
“You went to some effort to shake us, though.”
“I’m a soldier. I have that reaction when someone starts tailing me.”
“You’re an employee of the federal government, Mr. Logan. So are we.” Cahill spreads his hands in what is clearly supposed to be a why-don’t-you-trust-me-man kind of way. “Unless you’ve also decided, like certain others, that your obligations are flexible?”
That definitely sounds like a trap, and Wyatt is quiet as he tries to think how to answer. Rufus clearly doesn’t dare to sass these clowns – being a little fresh with Wyatt in the safety of Mason Industries is one thing, but every black man knows what happens if you so much as look at an armed white man wrong, and even Wyatt feels half-intimidated, which doesn’t (or isn’t supposed to) happen. He obviously doesn’t want to bring up Emma in front of them, but it seems more than clear that they (and their friends) are the ones she wants to get away from. There’s a very awkward silence as they eye each other. Then Cahill says, “If that’s all the case, clearly you won’t mind me running up and checking that the calculations were submitted correctly. Rufus, we’ll give you a ride back to Mason Industries, so just – ”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Rufus says. “But I’d actually prefer to ride with Ranger Rick.”
Cahill smiles patronizingly. “Good to know you’re getting along – but I’d be careful of how much you do going forward. You’re a smart young man with a bright future, Rufus. Don’t mess that up. Oh, and Mr. Logan. While I go up, I think my associates want to have a quick word. It shouldn’t take too long. Gentlemen?”
As Wyatt instantly prepares for being jumped, hesitates a split second too long in deciding whether to go for his gun – it’s a suburban office park, there are civilians everywhere, he can’t just let loose – the meatheads step forward, take firm hold of either arm, and escort him into the car, where he is immured on the patent leather seat. After that, with barely the preliminary of offering him a drink (which Wyatt is not a total moron and thus does not take) they do in fact proceed to have a chat. It’s a terrifying chat, but still. The gist of it is that they’re sure he’s a nice boy and nobody wants to make this difficult. He is going to go back to San Diego, make no report of this to anyone in Pendleton, and take up whatever ordinary new assignment they have for him. He is not to attempt to make contact with anyone whose recent actions might cause any question of his sincerity on this matter, or continue to insert himself into Mason Industries’ proprietary intellectual-property ventures. He can sign an affidavit right now swearing to all the above, or. . . well, it’s really preferable that he signs.
Wyatt listens with disbelief, then incredulity, then anger – and then, despite himself, some fear. NDAs and classified protocols and stuff you can’t talk about for years, or ever, is obviously par for the course in this job; he generally expects that most, if not all, of his missions will remain officially off the books for the entire duration of his service and well after his retirement. But he knows how that works, and it entails letting him in on the secret first. This clearly is not what the brute squad came here to do. If he disobeys, he’s going somewhere the law can’t help him. Or worse.
“Look,” Wyatt says. “This is a little much, don’t you think? We’re all coworkers here, in a way. Like your boss says, all on the same side. You don’t have to – ”
“You married, Mr. Logan?”
“What?” Wyatt stares at Thing 1. “Why?”
“Just answer the question.”
“Yes.” He thinks of Jess, waiting for him to get home and not really believing he will. “Not that I see what that has to do with – ”
“Any kids?”
“No,” Wyatt says, slower. “Maybe, you know. One day.”
“If that’s the case, Mr. Logan, you want to sign.” Thing 2 slides a sheet of paper toward him. “Better for you and whatever family you’re thinking of having. Trust us here.”
Wyatt doesn’t see a way out of this car – at least any good one – if he doesn’t. He accepts the offered pen and scribbles illegibly where indicated; he’s heard of cases where people got out of ill-advised signing decisions because the prosecutor couldn’t prove it was their name on the damn thing. This done, the goons seem satisfied, at least for now, and tell him to head on home. They’ll handle Rufus. Everything will be fine.
“You just – ” Wyatt can’t punch them, much as he would like to, but he pins them with a searing look. “You just take him back to work and leave him alone, all right? He’s just a geek doing his job, he – don’t mess him up in this.”
The goons exchange an amused look, as if they’ll agree that they know something he doesn’t. Then Thing 1 says, “As long as Rufus keeps on living his life as normal, he has nothing to worry about. You have a good drive home, Mr. Logan.”
Wyatt is almost sure that that means they’ll be keeping tabs on him somehow to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere else en route, and likewise quite sure that he knew who took the picture of him and Emma. Probably sent it to Jessica as an opening shot across the bow. He waits until they open the door (the car does not have regular inside handles) and stumbles back out, just in time to see Cahill emerging from the office complex and looking pleased; evidently he has satisfied himself that there was no funny business with the equations submitted to the JPL. Rufus has shrunk back against Wyatt’s truck, and shoots him a desperate look, as if to acknowledge that he was not his biggest fan this morning, but now would really appreciate it if Wyatt would not leave him alone with these lunatics. Frankly, Wyatt does not want to, but it’s also clear that he is not going to be given a choice. He mouths sorry at Rufus several times, opens the driver side door, and gets in.
It takes him a moment to put the truck in gear. His hands feel cold and uncooperative, there is slime down his spine and an unpleasant lump in his gut. He doesn’t want to be meekly rolling out of here, tail between his legs, and yet somehow, he is. If this is Rittenhouse, and it seems beyond any doubt that it is, they have not, not in the least degree, come to play.
It is a very long drive home.
Lucy wakes up slowly, surfacing from a repeated roundabout of uneasy dreams, in that split-second state of total disorientation that she has had far too often recently. The light is an indeterminate grey, reflecting through her closed eyelids, and she can feel the stall before her brain belatedly re-engages and the events of the past twenty-four hours return in nauseating detail. She lies very still, as if hoping that they will get bored and go away, but of course, it’s too late. She’s here, they already happened, and Flynn –
At that, Lucy opens her eyes with a start. Despite the turbulence of her mental situation, her physical one is – for the moment – actually rather comfortable. She’s tucked into Flynn’s side like a shrimp, head half on his shoulder and half on the pillow, her arm draped over his stomach and moving with the slow rise and fall of his breathing. Their legs are entangled beneath the quilts, her knee between his thighs, and for once, if only since he’s fast asleep, he has abandoned his efforts to put as much space between them as possible. His left arm is wrapped around her shoulders, cradling her into him, and his right is resting atop the covers, as if he made sure to leave it free if sudden gun-grabbing should be called for. He clearly is not discounting the possibility, but – at least for now – the early morning is still and quiet.
Lucy lets out a long breath, fingers sketching lightly across Flynn’s broad chest. She doesn’t want to wake him, especially since he could probably use the rest even more than her, but she also can’t quite bring herself not to touch him, as if there is space and time and distance that needs to be made up, and she’s not sure how much longer she has to do so. She drifts the tips of her fingers over his solar plexus, careful about his wounded shoulder. The bruising looks uglier this morning, from where Millerson and Vincent hit him. Are they going to walk down for breakfast and find Emma lurking behind the bagels? How are they getting out of here?
Those are pressing questions, and now that she’s awake, Lucy can’t fend them off, but she still wants to try to hold onto this moment, in whatever small part of it she can get. She glances down at Flynn again. Even in sleep, he does not look relaxed, a grim line drawing his dark brows together as if his dreams are not pleasant either. She is taken by an odd urge to kiss it, to smooth it away. He’d likely wake up and do something else to prevent it, but still.
Lucy cautiously edges closer, moving her knee to the other side of his hip and swinging half atop him. She isn’t going to do anything too forward – he, after all, is unaware, she isn’t going to be creepy about this or ignore the fact that he can’t presently say yes or no – but she still wants to be closer, to press and shape them together, to take comfort, however fleeting, in his sheer solidness. After the fact that her entire world has turned to quicksand and shattered glass, there’s something deeply appealing about it. Yes, Flynn himself was responsible for a good part of that destabilization, but he’s also been trying just as hard to hold it together for her, in his take-no-prisoners, give-no-fucks kind of way. And it’s Rittenhouse that’s really done most of it. Flynn, for all his faults (and they are many), has been trying to protect her. Lucy is certain beyond any remaining doubt that as long as it is remotely in his power, he will keep her safe, and that is no small thing.
She hesitates, then traces her fingers over the grooves on either side of his mouth. He shifts and sighs, but doesn’t quite wake up, and she pulls her hand back. She settles back down next to him, unable to avoid the thought that it feels nice, lying here together. This is clearly not the time to investigate whether it could become a recurring arrangement, especially since she still has very little faith in his ability not to torch himself all over again. Who knows.
Lucy lies there until she has to regretfully disentangle herself from his arm and get up to pee. When she returns from the bathroom, Flynn is awake, sitting half up and looking around as if the one thing to summon him back to the land of the living was the sensation of her going missing from his side. When he sees her, he blows out a breath and tries to disguise it. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Lucy coughs. “Not Rittenhouse.”
Flynn answers with a grunt, sitting the rest of the way up and running a hand through his hair. He glances at the clock, then gets up right away to recon the parking lot, which is unchanged except for the crappy old RV. His face darkens. “I should take a look at that.”
“If Rittenhouse was here, don’t you think they’d have tried to case the rooms already?” Lucy isn’t sure, but she doesn’t want him going down alone. “Or at least – ”
“Who knows?” Flynn points out. “Less chance of a scene if they can just pull out and grab us once we leave, rather than breaking down everyone’s doors. Stay here, I’ll be back.”
With that, he clicks a fresh magazine into his gun, puts on his shoes, and goes out of the motel room, as Lucy watches very tensely. The last thing Flynn needs is more perforations in vulnerable regions, and she sees him emerge, stroll over to the RV, and rap briskly on the window. It takes a few moments to be answered, but finally, it turns out that the occupants of the RV are not elite undercover secret agents, but a dreadlocked young hippie couple who, to judge from the way Flynn’s nose wrinkles, absolutely reek of pot. Flynn proceeds to have a little chat with them. The male hippie seems to be apologizing profusely. They go back into the RV and emerge with a pair of hiking backpacks and a dog, give something to Flynn, and hoof it down the drive, out of sight beyond the trees. Flynn watches them with a malevolent expression, waits several minutes, then finally turns around and comes back up to the room, where he tosses an also vaguely-cannabis-scented keyring at Lucy. “It looks like it’s the piece of shit for us after all.”
“What did you – I thought you said it wasn’t worth stealing?”
“It isn’t,” Flynn says disparagingly. “Not in the least. But beggars can’t be choosers, and at least I could easily convince them not to file a police report or talk to anyone about it. If I had to go to the effort of actually stealing a car from someone who didn’t want to give it up, well…” He pauses, then shrugs. “Things could get unpleasant.”
Lucy decides she probably really does not want to know if he’s talking about carjacking and murder, which it sounds like he is. “So what, just told them to give you the RV and you wouldn’t tell anyone about the pot and illegal camping?”
“Something like that.” Flynn does not seem terribly concerned that they have now inherited the mobile weed situation. Maybe they can get some Febreze. “We’ll take it as far as it will go, then figure out something else. Get dressed, Lucy, we should go.”
This is true, even if Lucy can’t help but wonder resignedly what happened to the soft, gentle, worried caretaker of last night. Probably woke up and was aghast at himself for slipping. Or knows this is going to end with them separated again, and thinks he’ll make it easier if she wants to see the back of him. Push her away pre-emptively, so she doesn’t miss him when he’s gone. It’s the sort of garbage logic that probably appeals to him.
They don’t want to stay longer than necessary, so they eat the last few stale bread rolls and figure they’ll find something more substantial later. Then they head down and climb into their fancy new ride, which has a broken gas gauge and bits of yellowed stuffing exploding through the cracked faux-leather seats. The kitchen is clearly from the seventies, the bed is the size of a cupboard, Flynn cannot stand up even close to straight, and there’s dog hair on everything, as well as the lingering atmospheric aura of eau de ganja. Lucy opens the windows, trying to air it out and not breathe too deeply, as Flynn jiggles the gauge and tries to get it to tell how much he has before he has to find a service station. He finally guesses there’s a little under a quarter of a tank, and this beast probably does not get great mileage. Clearly thinking that it would have been worth it to kill a businessman and steal his Mercedes (though this is not the kind of place that attracts businessmen with Mercedes) he growls under his breath, puts it into gear, and swings out.
They rattle down the road, passing the hippies standing with their thumbs out in hopes of hitchhiking. Lucy wonders suddenly if Rittenhouse will come by and pick them up, if they will tell them who jacked their RV – has Flynn thought of that? She would be a fool to doubt it, but… it’s a horrible thing to consider, but should they have left them alive? Maybe someone would realize they were missing, but if they were just out here wandering, not for a while.
Lucy pushes it aside and returns to the passenger seat, and they drive until they hit the junction for I-87 and the main route up to the Catskills. There is a Wal-Mart mega center here, as Lucy thinks wryly that yet again, Wal-Mart to the rescue. Flynn pulls into the gas station to fill up the tank, but then drives over to the main store parking lot and beckons Lucy out. “I think we need to get you a gun.”
Lucy opens her mouth, then shuts it, then opens it again, then shuts it once more. Of course, you can in fact just walk into Wal-Mart and buy a gun from the sporting goods counter, especially in upstate New York – which, while it might not be libertarian-paradise-rural-survivalist Maine, still has plenty of that mentality in places, especially not far from the military academy. She doesn’t want it and she wants to think she won’t need it, but she also can’t say it’s wrong. “I – ” she says. “I don’t – are you sure that’s really – ”
“I’ll teach you how to use it,” Flynn says. “And I obviously would prefer that you didn’t have to. But I think it’s time you did.”
Lucy does not have a substantial denial for this, and they walk inside. Go to the gun counter, Flynn says his wife wants to look at something compact and sporty (Lucy notices how comfortable both of them have gotten with that lie, just comes naturally to their tongues now) and the salesman pulls out a few options. Lucy picks them up carefully; they all feel alien and heavy and wrong in her hand. She lies – too easily – about having something mainly for target shooting (well, this isn’t wrong, she will possibly be shooting at targets, just not the one the salesman thinks). Then the salesman asks if she has her pistol permit, if she’s an in-state resident, and since the answers to both these questions are no, they have to politely thank him for his time and bow out. Gun laws actually working for once. Mirabile visu.
Still, Flynn does not intend to be thwarted, and since upstate New York generally has a lot more slide in its handgun licensing requirements than NYC, he figures there has to be another private gun store around here, because a) hunting country and b) America. There is, and it isn’t totally straightforward, but he manages to convince the owner that the license is in the pipeline and that (with a quick flash of his NSA ID) it would really be a good idea for him to sell. This is a risky strategy, because the guy is as likely to hate the government as to obey, but he decides he does not want the hassle. He supports women being armed too. He’s a feminist.
Lucy manages not to visibly roll her eyes at this, but they finally pick out a smallish handgun that she can hold comfortably. They buy a few clips for it, Flynn gives her a lecture on the various types of ammunition, the bore differences, don’t put the wrong size bullet in, etc. etc. He goes over the basic firearm rules – always assume it’s loaded, don’t ever point it at a person (or animal) unless prepared to shoot, keep it secured when you don’t have direct control of it, don’t loan it out, so on. Lucy feels as if this should be common sense, but she knows it’s not, and she does her best to listen attentively as she hands over her driver’s license, passes a five-minute background check, signs some paperwork, and is now the proud owner of her very own gun. American as apple pie.
She keeps looking at it as they get back into the RV. Opens the owner’s manual and carefully scrutinizes all the parts and pieces, still can’t imagine how she’d be comfortable toting this around as an everyday accessory (they had “For Him” camouflage gun cases, and “For Her” pink ones, because Heteronormative Gender Roles!) Finally, before she can stop herself, she says, “Where did you learn – where did you learn all this?”
Flynn glances briefly sidelong at her, with a grim smile. “How to shoot?”
“That, and just…” Lucy waves a hand. “All of it.”
Flynn takes his time about answering, until she briefly thinks he won’t. Then he says, “I enlisted in the Croatian army when I was fifteen. 1990. The Soviet Union was breaking up, there was the war for independence. After that, I just�� kept doing it. There were stints in Chechnya, in Bosnia, in Kosovo. I was in Afghanistan after the ’01 invasion. Briefly in America, then Somalia in 2006. That was my last war. I joined the NSA after that. So.” He pauses, then shrugs, as if this is just like anyone’s CV. “I’ve had experience.”
Yes, Lucy thinks, he has. Got started as a fifteen-year-old boy, probably lying about his age because he looked older, to go shoot some Reds. If he’s been around the Balkans, he’s probably been constantly fighting in regional guerrilla wars, against the Russians, against the Serbs, in whatever populist uprising is at hand against the oppressive status quo. Maybe what he’s doing against Rittenhouse is not terribly different. She wants to ask what he was doing in San Francisco in March 2003, when he saved her life, but doesn’t expect she’d get an answer.
They drive steadily. Lucy sees a road marker for I-80 west, and then a “Welcome to Pennsylvania” sign not much later – apparently, they’re back. She can’t think that they’re going back to Penn, unless Flynn thinks those Nicholas Keynes files are really that vital – but the whole place must be on high lookout. “Where are we going?”
“The one and only Gambier, Ohio.” Flynn downshifts with a worrisome grinding sound. “You have a job to interview for, don’t you?”
Kenyon. God. Lucy legitimately almost forgot. She could hardly feel less prepared to waltz in there and present herself as a competent, trustworthy, well-put together adult, when she’s arriving in an ancient, pot-smelling RV with her not-really-boyfriend, an ex-NSA asset on the run from the evil organization that has tried to kidnap and/or kill both of them at least once. Is it really fair to Kenyon to turn up and act like she’s in a real position to take the job? Maybe she is, but she has no way of knowing for sure. Rittenhouse could just come barging around this campus, instead of Stanford’s.
They have just stopped for gas and some proper food in Altoona, Pennsylvania, and Flynn has been trying to figure out if that banging noise is going to get any worse, when they see blue lights in the mirror, a siren wails, and a Pennsylvania state trooper ushers them over onto the gravel shoulder. Flynn swears. “Hide the gun.”
Lucy thinks this should be obvious, even her own heart has picked up to a dangerous level. A traffic stop with at least two weapons in the car, a strong reek of marijuana, no registration or insurance (she digs in the glove box and comes up with an emissions report, failed, from 2004) and not a single clue who used to own the damn thing before them (did the hippies just reclaim it from the junkyard?) Flynn pulls out his Alexander Kovac passport and is clearly preparing to lean on the dumb foreign tourist card with all his might. They sit as tensely as statues while the trooper runs the plates. Finally, they hear crunching footsteps, he approaches the car, and Flynn obligingly rolls down the window. In a very thick German accent, he says, “Hallo?”
“Afternoon, sir, ma’am.” The trooper is your standard-issue, early-thirties beefy white guy with a blond buzzcut and a ranger hat. “Do you know why I’ve stopped you today?”
“It is because the… because the…” Flynn waves a hand as if he can’t think of the right English word and is hoping the trooper will supply it for him. “The… rule?”
“Your tags expired last October, and your tailpipe is smoking. Where are you folks from?”
“We’re visiting,” Lucy says, in the best French accent she can pull off at short notice. Altoona Allan here is not likely to be able to tell the difference. “From Europe. We have borrowed the campervan from our friends. There is a problem?”
The trooper sniffs the air. “You two been enjoying your visit to America, then?”
“Vas is dat mean?” Flynn blinks as innocently as a lamb. “I have here mein passport.” He hands it over. “Alexander Kovac.”
The trooper flips through it. “You have a U.S. or German driver’s license, Mr. Kovac?”
Flynn hesitates. He, after all, has several, but they all have different names on them. “I haff German license.”
“You have that license on you, Mr. Kovac?”
“Yes, yes, I do.” Flynn digs through his wallet for several minutes, looking first confused and then increasingly flustered. “Honey, where is my license? I had at airport, yes? When we rented car? I showed them then?”
“Where did you folks arrive in the country?”
“We flew into Philadelphia,” Lucy says, which is not a lie. She opens her own wallet and pulls out her luggage tags from the Philadelphia airport. “Yes?”
“Thank you, ma’am. You find that license, sir?”
“I – I haff it, I haff it just the other day.”
“All right, well. Just in case, sir, please step out of the vehicle.”
“Why is dat?” Flynn says, looking agitated. “This is – I have not done an error!”
“I’ll be the judge of that, Mr. Kovac. Do you have anything you would like to declare?”
“Declare?”
“Is there anything in the vehicle that I need to know about right now?”
“There is – there is just my wife. We are going to see, you know.” Flynn waves a hand. “Beautiful Pennsylvania.”
“I see. Please step out of the vehicle, slowly. Mrs. Kovac, stay where you are, please.”
Flynn considers. Lucy can see a muscle working in his jaw. Then he gets out of the RV and straightens up, whereupon it becomes apparent that he has several inches and a good fifteen pounds on the trooper. Not that she’s calculating the odds of him beating up a policeman, since that is the one thing definitely guaranteed to bring the wrath of Khan on their heads, but – well, she may be calculating the odds of him beating up a policeman. They eye each other up and down. Hopefully Flynn does not smell too noticeably of pot outside the confines of the driver’s seat. He’s clearly dearly wishing that he did in fact go for the Mercedes.
The officer insists on administering a pat-down, checks the passport again, and finally decides that they are clearly very clueless and should probably learn how things are done in the good ol’ U.S of A. But he gives them a ticket and tells them to get the tags updated, and that they should maybe check with their friends about the lifestyle choices they appear to be making. He has decided to let it go this time and not ruin their holiday, for which he clearly expects to be thanked. Flynn does so. Then he gets back into his cruiser, pulls off the shoulder, and drives away.
Flynn stands there until it’s certain that he’s gone, then marches back to the driver’s seat, jerks the door open, and gets in, fuming. He plainly knows just as well as Lucy that they have had a very, very lucky escape, but it also raises the possibility of a repeat incident that may not have the same result. “I knew this piece of shit was more trouble than it was worth!”
“Hey.” Lucy reaches over to grab his hand. She has to hold on for a moment as well, to steady herself. “Let’s – let’s just keep going, all right?”
Flynn’s eyes flick from hers to their fingers. He lets out a slow sigh, then starts the engine again. He does not cease to mutter under his breath in a wide and colorful variety of vernaculars, but at least they get underway again. It’s another four and a half hours from here to Gambier, but neither of them feel like stopping. If their valiant chariot doesn’t just die on the spot. Lucy thinks briefly of Puff the Tragic Wagon, thinks of the sensation of plunging, the cold water rushing in, feeling it sink away beneath her even as Flynn hauled her to the surface. After that, aside from just doubling down on the history, she became very averse to risks, wouldn’t even go on those extreme-thrill roller coasters or anything like that. Nothing dangerous, nothing out of her control, nothing to make her think she’s still falling. Had a panic attack in public when it felt like a BART train she was riding had lost its brakes, was going to derail or worse. She doesn’t know when she’s felt more like that than now.
It’s getting dark by the time they finally plow into Gambier, which is a very small Midwestern-standard town; Kenyon is the main reason anyone comes here. They find a Comfort Inn and get a room, which has two beds this time. Lucy can’t help being somewhat disappointed. Not for any reason.
In any case, the topic doesn’t come up, because they eat dinner, sleep like the dead, and wake up the next morning in a vain attempt to look less like they feel. Lucy does her hair and makeup, Flynn shaves, and while they will be arriving in the worst vehicle in the history of vehicles, hopefully that won’t be the first thing the selection committee notices. As they step outside, Lucy notices that the RV’s expired New York plates have been changed for current Ohio ones, and raises an eyebrow at Flynn. “Just find those lying around?”
“No,” Flynn says. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.”
“You didn’t…?”
“If I killed someone, I promise, I would also have stolen his car.” Apparently not realizing that that is not a comforting statement, Flynn opens the passenger door for her with a slight, sarcastic bow. “Madame?”
Lucy rolls her eyes at him, but gets in. They drive to Kenyon campus and park, consult the directory, and bumble in the direction they need to go, until they find the history department. Lucy apologizes several times for turning up like this out of the blue, introduces herself, and asks if Professor So-and-so, who knows Dr. Underwood, has a spare moment this morning. Fortunately, it’s quiet, so she is taken through, shakes hands and makes more introductions. This is just an informal meet-and-greet, not a formal interview, but they want to know what sort of questions she has, what they can tell her about the position, etc. Standard stuff.
Lucy spends the morning more enjoyably than she has for a while, getting shown around the department and meeting her potential new colleagues. They are all very nice (it is the Midwest) and generously offer that her boyfriend can come too, if he wants. Flynn has been too busy keeping an eye on all windows and exits to pay much attention, but Lucy says quickly that he’s fine, though it’s true that she finds herself getting antsy when they have been out of each other’s sight for too long. But no way Rittenhouse can be here. Right?
Finally, they wrap things up, Lucy shakes everyone’s hands again, and they promise to be in contact very soon. She’s still feeling very good about herself as she and Flynn walk out; you would never know that she almost died two days ago, or whatever could have happened (she somehow doesn’t believe that Emma’s promise not to hurt her would have held out indefinitely). They were very impressed with her CV and her research background, the amount of teaching she’s already done, the various projects she has in the pipeline (she will probably complete a Lincoln monograph in a year or two, and has had three articles published). Likewise, Lucy can sense that it is possible for her to be very happy here. Gambier is a sleepy nowhere that would be a big change from Palo Alto, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. At least give it a try. It’s not tenure-track, she can leave in a few years if she hates it, but as a starter job, it could be much worse.
They get into the RV and billow back into town, where they get lunch, and Flynn decides that they are going to make the most of their terrible vacation by finding a shooting range and giving her some preliminary lessons. They stop at the motel to change into some more appropriate clothes and retrieve the guns, then drive around until they find one. Park, and head inside.
Lucy has been wondering what exactly the lessons will entail, if Flynn’s pedagogical method is just to light it up and deal with the consequences later, but he turns out to be a very precise and exacting teacher. Before they get anywhere near the actual shooting, he makes her load and unload the gun a dozen times, feel the difference between each, know how to click the magazine in and out and tell just by the weight if it’s armed or not. They’re using blanks for these first exercises, rather than live ammunition, but she has to treat it as if it is loaded and ready to kill at all times. Practice switching the safety on and off, likewise start to know if it is or not just by how it feels in her hand. Work on how to draw it without pointing it at anything you don’t want to point it at. How to grip it, what it feels like to fully pull the trigger. Practice that, a dozen more times. All right, now put it all together.
Lucy is not the world’s most physically coordinated or gifted individual, and this is not something that comes naturally to her, but she tries. At last, when she can do all this more or less without literally shooting herself in the foot, they get the bright orange ear protectors, go to one of the galleries, and set up. Flynn takes the pistol from her and nails half a dozen dead-center shots in about thirty seconds, either to test that it’s working or just to show off, then watches with an eagle eye as Lucy loads it properly for the first time. The ear protectors make it hard to communicate verbally, so he stands behind her and adjusts her arms and hands, sets her into a good stance, nudging her slightly here and there. Then he lets go, and nods.
Lucy raises the gun, tries not to think about doing this reflexively and shooting Millerson, and aims at the target. Her hands are oddly steady. Then she fires.
The gun kicks, even if not as much as a rifle would, and she takes half a step backward into Flynn. He steadies her, hands momentarily lingering at her waist, as they inspect the result; she at least hit the target, if nowhere near the center. He pronounces it acceptable for a first try with a brusque nod of his head, and beckons her to try again.
They’ve been working on the actual shooting part for thirty minutes or so, after the hour and a half of preliminaries, when another man comes in, takes out his ear protectors and his service weapon – looks cop or military, and very hopefully not a friend or employee of Pennsylvania law enforcement – and starts jacking in the rounds. It’s clear he’s good at it, and Lucy tells herself that it’s her imagination that his eyes periodically flicker sideways to them. Even if they are, that doesn’t mean it has a nefarious purpose – he could just feel bad for the guy trying to teach his girlfriend how to shoot, because women, etc. Maybe they are intruding on whatever fantasy he is imagining for himself. He’s not Rittenhouse, Rittenhouse can’t know that they’re here, or just what a shitbox of an RV they stole. Unless they picked up the hippies, and the hippies blabbed. Is that what happened? Is it?
Lucy is losing her focus, and Flynn likewise seems to be slightly edgy. They shoot a few more clips, but wrap it up, pay for their time, and head out. Hopefully not too quickly or suspiciously. Lucy is rattled, feels as if her momentary illusion of safety and isolation from the rest of the insanity has been destroyed, and can’t sit down when they get back to the motel room. She really just wants to go home. She just wants it to be over, to –
And just then, that’s when her phone rings.
It’s not Emma, which was her first, paranoid thought. It’s the dean at Kenyon. They were very impressed with her this morning, and of course there are still more formalities to go through, committees to rubber-stamp things, and so on. But if she wants the job as soon as she has the PhD in hand, they would be happy to extend a proper offer. Does she? Want it?
Lucy sits there frozen, briefly having forgotten how to breathe. It feels almost like another panic attack, though she doesn’t know why. Is she going to move from the beautiful, sunny Bay Area, her home, her roots, to Bumfuck, Ohio? Leave her mom and Amy and Stanford and everything she knows, to come out here alone and never know if the sharpshooting guy at the gun range was a secret Rittenhouse agent? Do that one thing – throw herself out into the void, into the ether, the reckless and uncontrollable, that she’s avoided so steadfastly since the accident? This would be a huge change. She would have no support system. It feels too close to West Point and Rittenhouse’s black site there, even though it’s three states away. If so, what, bring Emma and her associated maniacs down on these nice Midwesterners? Can she do that? She feels like she’s going to throw up. Jesus, how can she possibly –
“Ms. Preston?” The dean sounds puzzled. “Are you still there?”
“I. . . I am.” Lucy takes a heaving breath. “I. . . thank you for your consideration. So much. But I – I just – right now, honestly, I – I don’t think it’s the right fit. It was – it was so nice to meet you all, and the position is wonderful, but – ”
Her throat closes. This is as close to her dream job as she is going to be offered – certainly just after graduation, possibly ever – and she is letting it slip through her fingers. She is just too scared, and Rittenhouse’s shadow has fallen over everything, and her mother’s face is in her head, looking disappointed. Lucy, she sighs. Of course you weren’t going to leave me?
“Ms. Preston?” the dean says again. “Would you like some time to think about it?”
“I. . .” Lucy’s fingers are cold and nerveless. “I just – I am so grateful, I am so grateful to you for meeting me so ad-hoc, and – and everything. I really am. I wish I could accept it, I wish it so much. But with how things are in my life right now, I’ve thought it over and. . .”
Flynn looks up with a start, as he has been checking something on his own phone, and frowns at her. Lucy shakes her head at him, barely manages to hold it together for the rest of the conversation, and finally hangs up. Then she leans forward and puts her face in her hands.
“Lucy?” Flynn gets to his feet. “What was that about? Why didn’t you take the job?”
Lucy doesn’t know if she can or wants to explain, or if the howl of misery forming in her chest is just going to come rushing up her throat. Flynn remains hovering for a moment more, then sits on the bed next to her, and very gingerly puts an arm around her shoulder. It’s as if he’s not entirely sure that this is a thing humans do in a situation where their friend is sad, like he’s just dressed up as one and is hoping nobody notices. But Lucy turns, takes hold of his shirt with both fists, and buries her face into his chest. She takes half a ragged breath, and – it’s this, it’s everything, it’s too much, too much – silently starts to cry.
Flynn holds her as if he is once more unsure if this is a thing people do with their arms, rather than using them for punching. He pats her back once or twice as if she’s a colicky baby, but for the most part, he just lets her get on with it, like being sick, knowing it’s been a long time coming and she’ll feel better once she’s done. Finally when she’s fallen more or less silent except for a hiccup or two, slumped against him, he says, “I thought you wanted it.”
“I d-did.” Lucy wipes her nose, snuffling. “I – I do. I do. But right now, how can I – how can I be here alone, how can I leave Mom and Amy and Stanford, how – with Rittenhouse probably just waiting for me to – I’d put the people at Kenyon in danger too, it’s just – it’s not going to work right now. It’s just not going to work.”
Flynn doesn’t answer except for a noncommittal humming noise. It’s unclear whether he agrees or disagrees with this line of reasoning. Then he says, “All right. Well. If that’s what you actually want, then. . . we’ll drive to Columbus and get a flight back to San Francisco tomorrow. I don’t think you should shackle yourself to that bitch, but – ”
Lucy stares at him, aghast. “You’re talking about my mother. Who has cancer.”
Flynn looks briefly like he’s been caught with his trousers down, though she doesn’t know why. Then he shrugs. “You didn’t seem to be very fond of her either.”
“When did I say that?”
“Earlier,” Flynn says, though Lucy can’t think when they’ve ever talked about her mother in any detail. “Anyway, wherever you go, you need to keep up practice with that gun. We don’t know who will find you, or what they’ll – ”
“I need to keep up practice with that gun?” Lucy stares at him, brow wrinkled. “Am I mistaken, or does that sound like you don’t plan on being around to help?”
Flynn glances away. Finally he says, “You’re not the only one who’s been thinking about the future, about what needs to be done. Yes, I could go back and try to destroy the time machine, but you heard what Emma said. They still haven’t invented half the things they need. I can’t be sure that it would permanently stop them if I did it now, that I would take out anything close to what I need to. And even if I did destroy it, Rittenhouse would still be there, they would still be evil, they would still have Connor Mason and any of their marching myrmidons there to make more for them. I can’t stop them like that. It wouldn’t be enough.”
Lucy keeps staring at him. She isn’t sure entirely what he’s suggesting, but she doesn’t like it. “Garcia, what are you – ”
Flynn looks back at her levelly. “I need to know more,” he says, after a long moment. “About Rittenhouse, about how they got this capability, about what they’re going to do with it. And for what I need to do with that, it’s going to be very difficult for us to – well. To anything. So. I’m sorry, Lucy. But we may not see each other again for – a long time.”
“You. . .” Lucy feels punched. “So you’re what – going off the grid?”
“Something like that. Yes.” Flynn almost succeeds in sounding matter-of-fact. “I know how to live like this, what I need to do. You don’t. One day, we will work together, Lucy. You’ll see. But this, I need to do alone.”
“You – ” Lucy is half-tempted to say screw it, she’ll drop everything, she’ll come with him. But she doesn’t, as he says, have any experience of disappearing off the face of the earth, of conducting deep-cover intelligence operations for months, living on the run – the limited experience she has had of it already has been decidedly unpleasant. That’s the whole reason she turned down the Kenyon job – to return to the safe, settled embrace of Stanford and her mom’s house and her controllable, predictable life, not to fling it completely to the wind and go deep underground on this very dangerous mission. And yet. A tiny, painful part of her thinks it might not be so bad if it meant she got to stay with him.
Flynn sees the look on her face. He smiles sadly, and touches her chin with his thumb. “I told you not to give up history for a boy,” he says. “It doesn’t change now that I’m that boy.”
With that, he lowers his face to hers, and gently, lightly kisses her forehead, the most tender thing he has ever done to her, at least openly. His hand stays alongside her cheek, and Lucy turns her mouth up, all but begging him to kiss her properly, fuck it, even if it makes tomorrow even worse. His eyes drop to her lips, and she can see that there is no part of him that does not want to. Indeed, he clearly wants to do just that, and more. Would be entirely willing to throw tonight away and forget about the morning, just burn the consequences the way he often does, and consider it a parting gift. The air almost shivers. Their eyes remain locked. If she touched him now, he might snap, and then, better judgments or not, wise ideas completely aside and self-control out the window, it could happen anyway.
At last, with a visible swallow, Flynn pushes himself backward. There does not seem to be enough air in the room for both of them, and it is clearly impossible for them to touch, even in passing, without using up all of it. Lucy’s fingers claw out inadvertently after him, fall short. Her voice is caught in her throat. “Garcia – ”
“It’s better that we don’t, Lucy.” His face is turned away from her, profile half in light and half in shadow. “Not if I’m leaving tomorrow.”
Yet-frigging-again, Lucy can’t tell if this means that he would be totally unable to leave her, to commit himself to the long and lonely work of whatever he’s going to do to take down Rittenhouse, if he abandoned himself to a night of wild passion with her, or if it’s just a distraction he prefers to do without anyway. No sex the night before the big game (Lucy dated a second-string member of the Stanford Cardinal football team for six months as a freshman) or whatever. It’s true that she is still not in a good headspace, to say the least. That this likewise counts as the kind of bad decision she is dutifully trying to avoid. But – how?
(How does she let him go, how does she know what the world looks like now, how does this make sense, how is this bearable, how is he going to possibly do this – any or all of those.)
(How.)
Lucy stares at the ceiling, and listens to everything burn.
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I would like to thank @leaalda for making these amazing banners.
This is an effort to spread the word about all fan fiction writers in our little fandom. If you would like to be featured or nominate a writer, please contact me. Please reblog this post if you can and check out some of @raptorlily work!
1. First things first, if someone wanted to read your stories where can they find them.
You can find all my work on my Ao3 profile.
2. Tell us a little about yourself.
I’m in my early twenties taking my first Bambi steps out into the Real World and wanting to walk them right back.
I’m quirky and friendly and although it’s not apparent always, it is in fact difficult for me to sit still. I do my best thinking when I’m pacing or jogging. I walk and tumblr (or Ao3) a lot. It’s probably doing terrible things for my posture.
I collect rocks from everywhere I’ve been in the world. I have a picture folder on my phone dedicated to fat, baby animals. I have an obsession with things that go vroom!
3. What do you never leave home without?
My phone and my water bottle full of cold tea.
4. Are you an early bird or a night owl?
It depends. By default, though, I’m an early bird.
5. If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?
Honestly, none of them. There’s always some apocalyptic doomsday crap going down in all the interesting fictional worlds. I’m an escapist but I’m not that much of an escapist, you feel me?
6. Who is the most famous person you’ve ever met.
Curtis Joseph. He jokingly jumped into a round of beach volleyball with my friends. I had no idea who he was until people started running up and asking for his autograph. I also have had a few run-in’s with my country’s Super Star Prime Minister.
7. What are some of your favorite movies/TV?
Almost Famous, Princess Bride, Goodfellas, When Harry Met Sally, Scarface… those are just some that come to mind. If I see them on TV, I’ll stop and watch them no matter how many times I’ve seen them.
TV shows at the moment are Ozark, Suits, Walking Dead, Riverdale and Game of Thrones. Twin Peaks is on my list too.
8. What are some of your favorite bands/musicians?
I have bands of the moment. Lately, I’ve been jamming to the Børns, Imagine Dragons, Lana del Rey, the Struts, Portugal. The Man, and Young and the Giant.
Rolling Stones, Queen, and the Scorpions, though, those are my follow-forevers.
9. Favorite Books?
Princess Bride by William Goldman is one I re-read every other year.
Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman, A Song of Ice and Fire series by Evil Santa, The Accursed King series by Daurice Druon
Non-Fiction, I always return to books by Malcom Gladwell, Daniel Kahneman and Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman in particular is a life bible. Highly recommend - this is one of those books you will want to take notes on and it’ll take you some time to get through, but worth it.
10. Favorite Food?
Simple Carbohydrates. The cheesier and softer, the better. Cheesy Garlic loaf is choice.
Also, I LOVE curry dishes on principle. And spicy. Really spicy.
11. Biggest pet peeve?
People getting irrationally upset with retail workers (or service staff) over problems that are no fault of their own.
Runner ups: Traffic at a time and place where it wasn’t anticipated; slow walkers that are impossible to dodge around, and people who go out of their way to be petty and make life difficult for others.
12. What did you want to be when you were little? What do you want to be now?
I wanted to be lots of things; judge, teacher, veterinarian, professional pizza eater, etc. Now I’m technically going into urban planning, but I’m questioning my choices…
13. What are your biggest fears? Do you have any strange fears?
I have a fear of being buried alive or tied down. My strangest fear is being experimented on, abused, or tortured in a lab or cell (which isn’t really strange, per say, but most people don’t usually fret about this sort of thing). The movie, Hostel and I ended things on REALLY bad terms.
14. When you are on your deathbed what would be the one you’d regret not doing?
Falling in love, travelling, making the most of my life.
Okay… lets talk about your writing!
15. Which is your favorite of the fics you've written for the Bughead fandom?
Make it Work. It’s light, it’s breezy and it’s how I originally pictured the Jughead x Betty relationship going, more or less, in the comics.
16. Which was the hardest to write, in terms of plot?
Hearts in Velvet, because it demands its own setting and history and all sorts of little details… but that’s also what I like about it. It’s a challenge.
17. How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? Do you people watch? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?
I get inspired while walking or driving or running on the treadmill. Basically, as long as I am moving. I usually have some kind of music on at the time. I’m really warming up to the idea of compiling playlists for when I’m writing.
18. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?
Oh, I have plotbunnies all the time; it’s just sitting down to write that is always the hard part for me.
I wanted to write a Wizard of Oz-esque, post-apocalyptic Riverdale fic borrowing elements from Fallout 4. Too big of a project. I had a coffee shop AU that I abandoned because it felt out of character (I always keep the gang together in my AU’s). I was toying around with a Werewolf AU too, but I realized it was something I wanted to read more than I wanted to write.
19. Least favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?
The more I look at it, the less I like And Other Collisions in general. But I’m going to come back to it and figure it out.
20. Favorite plot point/chapter/moment you’ve written?
From A River in Egypt:
Betty going school-girl over a boy other than Archie signals a turning point in the story, he knows, and Jug figures it should be a good thing but somehow it feels a lot like he wants to stab the pencil he’s holding into the worn cork of his desk.
“I just emailed the proof to Sven,” Betty says. “Do you mind picking up the print on your way home tonight?”
Oh yeah. Just stab-itty, stab, stab it. Repeatedly. Draw a Nirvana smile and just BAM! Give it a nose.
“Planning on making it a late night?” he asks aloud and he’s so preoccupied he’s forgotten to carefully pluck and scour the bitter out from between his teeth.
Betty pauses in the middle of buttoning up her coat and looks at him so sharply the end of her ponytail whips her cheek.
"This whole Trev thing is really bothering you, isn't it?"
Her lips curl a touch; he can't tell if its smugness or amusement.
Jughead feels heat crawl up his neck to crouch behind his ears.
"I'm just mad I didn't think of it first. You get to do a shake down and get a free meal out of the whole thing."
He throws the pencil back into its holder. He misses and it bounces off the desk, onto the floor and rolls right under Betty’s soft blue ballet-ish shoe.
"Is that really all you ever think about?” She tilts her head to one side. “Food?"
And he swears there’s a stitch of disappointment woven into that question there, somewhere.
"I'm a growing teenage boy, Betts. I need the protein."
She crosses her arms and he remembers why he has to work so hard at keeping her off-balance. Betty Cooper knows him. And while there's a 50/50 chance she'll demure from calling anyone else out on their bullshit (Archie especially), Jughead never seems to gets off scot-free.
“Really?" She pops a hip and an eyebrow and now he knows they're treading somewhere perilous. "Because, if I didn’t know you any better, I would’ve said you were jealous.”
“It’s a good thing you know me then.”
And there, he slaps it down on the table like a face-down card to show her he's got nothing up his sleeve and it's suddenly a game of chicken and poker rolled into one.
The rules of engagement require him to look her in the eyes and he takes his time to draw himself up lazily, gaze climbing up the curve of her pink-sweater enclosed arms, past the collar of her shirt, the point of her chin, the sweet bow of her lips, nose, before finally meeting The Green. He tilts a smirk up at her, but she smirks and stares back too.
21.Favorite character to write?
Cheryl, actually. And in some incarnations, Veronica. I like writing women who are ballbusters.
Jughead is the runner up.
22. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you've written?
“I’m a growing boy, Betts. Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson needs to eat ten pounds of cod a day to maintain his physique. I need about the same in artery-clogging goodness to maintain mine.”
23. Best comment/review you’ve ever received?
I have a handful comments that I come back to re-read over and over again; especially when I’m beginning to doubt myself. They’re usually the ones that show genuine excitement and engagement with what I’ve written. The people who do this already know who they are and I hope they know that I’m thankful for them every day.
24. How do you handle bad reviews or comments?
It depends on the day I’m having and the type of review. Sometimes you can tell the person is just trying to be an asshat and ruin your day to feel better about themselves. Sometimes it’s just disheartening. I once got a backhanded compliment from someone who said they were expecting me to abandon my fics, which I suppose was meant to spur me into updating but it only pissed me off.
25. If you could change anything in any of your stories, what would it be?
At any given time, I have like twenty different things I want to change about a story, chapter or paragraph, that it’s impossible to list them all. But if I followed that impulse, I’d never finish anything.
26. What is your favorite story you’ve ever written? Any fandom?
I have a BBC Musketeer story that I took down a while ago because I got into the fandom late and felt discouraged. I found it recently and I wished I continued it for its own sake, because it was a lot of fun.
One of my first multi-chapter fanfics also holds a place in my heart: a BTAS story featuring Batgirl and Robin teaming up to take down King Tut. It’s horribly written, but the plot was kick ass.
27. What are you reading right now? Both fan fiction and general fiction?
I read a lot of non-fiction offline. Mostly books about psychology and socioeconomics. “Fooled by Randomness” by Nassim Nicholas Taleb is on my nightstand.
The stories I'm avidly following are: all the roads we have to walk by @stillscape, Vespertine by @yavannies, Keeping The Old by @createandconstruct, Don't Drink The Maple Water by @christah88 and check yes, Juliet by @fairytelling, Contact Cement by @justcourbeau, The Darkest of Times by @writing-as-tracey, my youth ain't tangled up in bad decisions by @lessoleilscouchants, and those are just the ones off the top of my head...
My to-read and to-comment list is getting long, but as a sampler: heart rise above by @onceuponamirror, The Stacks by @malmo722, Wicked Games by @jugheadszombie, Second City by @cooperjones2020, Something to Tell You by @findingbetty, etc, etc. I have a backlog of commentary I have to get to as well.
28. Do you have an advice for writers that want to get into this fandom but might be scared?
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. It’s not something most people want to hear, especially when they’re struggling with shyness or anxiety, but fear has us always stepping back into smaller and smaller circles and it has a cumulative effect; the longer you resist putting yourself out there, the harder it will be as time goes on.
Reach out to people, even if you’re trembling from limb to limb. Engage in conversations with them about their stories or their fanwork or just say hello. The cool thing about fandom is that you already know that people in it have something in common with you and you can always fall back on fangirling over something. And the majority of us are socially awkward goofs to begin with, so we’re a lot more open and friendly to people who are trying to put themselves out there. Start with interacting on tumblr via reblogs or leaving comments on people’s works. Send people questions off-anon. Once you get a bit more familiar with who is who in the fandom and you’ve made contact with people, it gets a lot easier.
But always, ALWAYS share your work and don’t be afraid to promote yourself. You may not be noticed straight away, someone always DOES notice.
#bughead author spotlight#fan fiction#fan fiction writers#ao3#Bughead#bughead fanfiction#betty cooper#jughead jones#jughead x betty#betty x jughead#riverdale#raptorlily#make it work#a river in egypt#and other collisions#hearts in velvet
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Kinky Blackmail Secrets It’s a blog, not reality
I told you I’d keep our kinky blackmail secrets to ourselves. I lied. While you were busy sending me that last $400, I was busy preparing your slutty pictures to post all over xnxx.com‘s forums! Hahahaha!
All I have to do is hit one little button and every one of our kinky blackmail secrets will be exposed for the world to see. ‘What’s the likeliness that anyone I know will see it?’ you may be asking yourself.
The risk is actually pretty low, until you realize I’m going to post it on my Twitter and Tumblr too…and maybe even Soundcloud! Hahaha! All anyone is going to have to do is run a Google search of your name and BAM! There you are, buttplug so deep inside of you that you can see the bulge in your stomach.
Give me another $600 or I’m posting it all right now! That’s a good boy, open that wallet wide for your Blackmail Goddess. You really should have known better. I hold all of the cards here. There’s no big, bad phone sex company to keep me from exposing you to the world.
PAYING TO KEEP YOUR KINKY BLACKMAIL SECRETS
So, $1k in less than 15 minutes…that’ll keep your secrets safe for a while longer. You’d better hope that I forget about you for a while though. There’s still the pressing matter of what to do with your wife’s email address. Oh, you thought I’d forgotten about that, did you?
You’re a stupid little cunt. How could a professional blackmailer like me forget about that?! I’m saving that little gem for a rainy day. I never know when I might need a down payment for a new car, or to relocate because I scream at little bitches like yourself too loud.
Don’t you fucking scoff at me, maggot! I’ve been evicted for it already and am actually ready for a move…maybe I should just email her and get it over with, though, if you think it’s so funny. My other boys can pay for me to move, but right now none of them can provide such sweet satisfaction as outing your extra-marital activities to your wife.
Perhaps you’d like to offer your meekest apology now? Get me to backtrack without demanding more money from your pathetic savings account? That’s what I thought. Good boy. I’m still going to prepare that email, though!
FANTASY OR REALITY
I know you thought you’d be getting fantasy and not reality for your kinky blackmail secrets, but you gave me real information! That’s on you. All you had to do was send fake information and it all would have remained play. Instead, you pay.
And that’s on you! Don’t give out real information if you don’t really want to be blackmailed. I’m not going to use your billing information to blackmail you, ever. It’s every other detail that I listened to that spelled your doom.
It’s not my fault you got too comfortable to remember who I am: a sadistic bitch willing to fuck you over until it hurts!
So now I’m going to write out that email, so that should I wake up ready to fuck you over and say goodbye to your pathetic ass I’ll be prepared!
I’M THINKING SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
Dear Annie,
It fills my heart with sorrow to be writing this to you. My job is hard to explain delicately, so I’ll be blunt. I’m a domination phone sex operator. Your husband has been in contact with me for quite some time and recently let slip that he’s not single. As such, I wanted to reach out and let you know what perverse things your husband has been having me discuss with him.
In your position I would be unlikely to believe the word of a stranger, so I’ve attached the photos he has sent me, along with a few emails between us to give you a clear picture of what he’s been up to.
As you can see for yourself, he’s not your run-of-the-mill slut. He’s been dreaming of some very kinky things while you’re away. Feel free to reach out for more evidence. Should you pursue a divorce, I will gladly testify about our ‘relationship’
I hope you heal from this terrible truth and that I haven’t caused too much pain.
love and light,
Miss Quinn
KEEPING KINKY BLACKMAIL SECRETS
Hahaha I wish I could see your face right now. You have no idea what you said in those emails, but I do:
“Mistress Quinn please! I need to cum so badly and I can’t stop thinking of my ass getting torn wide open!”
Hahaha! I know you didn’t actually say that, but it’s so naughty of me to say you did! Go ahead, tell her they’re fake once she looks at the cc bill! See what she says.
I’ll keep your kinky blackmail secrets for now, though. This draft will just sit in my email until you fuck up or I get bored.
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Rules: Answer these 92 questions and tag 20 people
Tagged by: @gubl-oser
LAST: 1. Drink: Sweet tea
2. Phone call: My Dad?
3. Text message: My new roommate for college
4. Song you listened to: Wham Bam by Silver
5. Time you cried: A few days HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: See #7
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: See #8
8. Been cheated on: See #77
9. Lost someone special: No one has died but I’ve lost contact, does that count??
10. Been depressed: Ye
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. Purple, Blue, Green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yeah; on here actually
16. Fallen out of love: Yes
17. Laughed until you cried: Not recently
18. Found out someone was talking about you: I’m basically plain oatmeal? There’s nothing to gossip about??
20. Found out who your friends are: Yes? Maybe
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: No GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All, but I definitely don’t post there
23. Do you have any pets: Yes; four
24. Do you want to change your name: I’m not on the run and it’s not that common of a name from where I live, so no?
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I can’t actually remember??
26. What time do you wake up: 5:30am
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Pretty sure I was constantly switching between here & Ao3
28. Name something you can’t wait for: College!!
29. When was the last time you saw your mom? Many hours ago
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My vision
31. What are you listening to right now: My ceiling fan
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Can Thomas count; since ya know, Tom is shorter version of it??
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Weirdly enough? My ceiling fan 34. Most visited website: tumblr
35. Mole/s: Basically everywhere
36. Mark/s: Nah
37. Childhood dream: being a concept artist or a librarian
38. Hair colour: Dirty blonde
39. Long or short hair: Long
40. Do you have a crush on someone: Nope
41. What do you like about yourself: My eyes
42. Piercings: 0
43. Blood type: I know it, but that doesn’t mean I gonna post on the internet??
44. Nicknames?: Kinda? I get called a lot of pet names
45. Relationship status: Single
46. Zodiac: Pisces
47. Pronouns: she/her
48. Favorite TV Show: criminal minds, brooklyn nine nine, community, The Office, Rick and Morty
50. Right or left hand: Right
51. Surgery: Years ago; For my eyes and tonsils
52. Hair dyed in different colour: Nah
53. Sport: To add to the debate: Does Marching Band count??
55. Vacation: i recently got home from one
56. Pair of trainers: I own a lot of Converse MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Nope
58. Drinking: Nope
59. I’m about to: Either go back to sleep OR continue being on there 62. Want: Something to drink
63. Get married: Not right now
65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
66. Lips or eyes: lips
67. Shorter or taller: taller
68. Older or younger: Depends.
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Tum for sure
71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
72. Hook up or relationship: relationship
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: No
75. Drank hard liquor: No
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes!!
77. Turned someone down: Gotta get asked first, ya know?
78. Sex on the first date: Definitely not
79. Broken someone’s heart: No
80. Had your heart broken: Maybe?
81. Been arrested: Nah
82. Cried when someone died: Ye
83. Fallen for a friend: Yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84: Yourself: Depends
85. Miracles: Not really
86. Love at first sight: Not really 87. Santa Claus: Historically? Sure
88. Kiss on the first date: No OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: I don’t actually think I have one right now??
91. Eye color: Green
92. Favorite movie: Off the top of my head? Midnight in Paris
Tagging: Whoever wants to?
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Unmarked [Sanvers/Supercorp]
Imagine the soulmate AU where the first words your soulmate will say to you is tattooed on your wrist, but Person A’s tattoo is something completely ridiculous or nonsensical.
I don’t usually post my fics here anymore, but I really like this one and wanted to post it on tumblr as well. You can read all my fics here though (X).
“Alex! Alex! Alex!” Kara shouted as she rushed into the house and sprinted down the hallway. It had finally appeared and she had to share it with her sister.
Alex’s bedroom door flew open and she was practically run over by her little sister.
“Is everything okay,” she asked panicked.
“Yes! Look!” Kara raised her arm, making sure that Alex could see her wrist clearly. “My mark appeared.” Kara jumped up and down with excitement.
Alex forced a smile onto her face and grabbed Kara’s wrist so she could read it. “It’s okay,” she muttered. “Do you run into them or something and need to apologize?” Alex teased.
“Knowing me, probably.”
“That’s great, Kara. Let me grab my jacket and we can go get ice cream to celebrate.”
Alex doesn’t wait for Kara to reply. She goes into her room and shuts her door behind her.
She wanted to be happy for her younger sister, but she was also bitter. Her mark still hadn’t appeared. It should have by now though. It was supposed to appear during puberty and she was well passed that now. The mark was to be the first words that your soulmate says to you, but Alex didn’t have one. She had told herself that it would show up eventually, that she definitely had a soulmate. That day never came though.
Alex entered the small café and instantly smiled when she spotted her sister. She gave a quick wave before getting in line to order her coffee. Once her order was placed, she joined her little sister.
“You look great,” Alex observed as she sat down.
“Thanks.”
It had been a couple of weeks since they had seen one another because of their busy schedules. Alex was now a third year student studying biochemical engineering and Kara had just begun her first year to study journalism. Since the colleges were fairly far apart, it was hard to get together in person.
“I’m surprised you came up,” Alex said.
“I kinda had to.”
Alex’s eyes widened. “Kara, what did you do?”
Kara raised her hands in innocence and shook her head. “Nothing! I swear. It’s actually good news.”
“Oh.” Before Kara could tell Alex the good news, Alex’s name was called. “Be right back,” she said before going to retrieve her coffee. As soon as she sat back down, Kara started talking.
“So it’s pretty funny. Remember when I first showed you my mark and you were like I’d do something to warrant an apology?”
Alex nodded and squinted her eyes a bit. Had Kara met her soulmate?
“Well, you were right. So it was literally the first day of classes and I read my schedule wrong. I ended up going to the wrong building and had to run all the way across campus. So I’m like running, feeling like the Flash, right? And then I turn this corner and BAM!” Kara clapped her hands together for emphasis. “I hit this girl and she goes flying backwards and she hits the ground so hard. I swear I thought she’d break her butt or something. So then I start blabbering, like profusely apologizing and she just smiles as she takes my hand to help her up… and says… it’s okay.”
Kara paused to catch her breath a bit, but then continued.
“And like I’m not sure if she’s my soulmate or not cause anyone can say ‘it’s okay’ if there’s an accident. But with the way she’s smiling at me, there’s gotta be something right. And then she holds up her wrist and shows me this long rambling mess of apologies on her wrist. Like she has no doubt I’m her soulmate after me rambling on at her.”
“Wow,” Alex said, letting everything that Kara just said set in.
“Wow, is such an understatement. Alex, she’s gorgeous.” Kara pulled out her phone and gets something up on the screen. She then slid it over to Alex. “Look.”
Alex let out a little whistle because Kara was not lying. She really was gorgeous.
“What’s her name?”
“Lena,” Kara said with such a happy expression.
“You’re like a lovesick puppy,” Alex teased.
“Well of course I am. I found my soulmate, silly. And she’s nice and smart and pretty and I could literally go on forever.”
“I’m happy for you,” Alex said sincerely. She really was happy for her sister. She had also come to accept that she just didn’t have a soulmate, even if it was unheard of.
“You know,” Kara started. “Maybe there are others without marks. Maybe you’re not alone.” Kara had this sixth sense to know when Alex was thinking about not having a mark.
“I’ve tried looking it up and found nothing,” Alex sighed. “But it’s fine. Plus today’s a happy day.” Alex scrunched her nose up and leaned forward. “You know you’ll have to let me meet her sometime, right?”
“Of course! You’ll love her, I promise.”
“If she’s your soulmate, then she has to be a wonderful person.”
Alex looked down at her ticket again and frowned. She had definitely read it right and there was also someone definitely in her seat. Plays and musicals weren’t really her favorite, but when Lena and Kara had invited her, she couldn’t say no. It had been five years since Kara had found her soulmate and they were truly perfect for one another. Lena was reserved, yet confident. While Kara was bubbly and outgoing. They just suited one another so well. Alex tried not to be jealous, but it'd be a lie if she said she wasn't.
They had invited her out to celebrate Lena’s birthday, so really there was no saying no. They had invited Winn, James, and Lucy as well, but none of them had arrived yet. It seemed that Alex was the first.
She took in a deep breath and finally shuffled her way to her seat. She lightly tapped on the woman’s shoulder and opened her mouth to speak, but all thoughts left her. The woman was stunning. Her brown hair fell loosely down her shoulders in soft waves. Her eyes were warm and her lips painted a subtle red. Her eye makeup was soft and also subtle. She was wearing a cute black blazer that covered a white collared shirt and black dress pants. Alex couldn't help but notice the few buttons left open to leave just a peek of cleavage.
The stranger looked up at Alex with an eyebrow raised and Alex realized that she was staring.
“Oh, um. I think you’re in my seat.”
The woman furrowed her brow and bit into her lower lip.
Alex held out her ticket to show her. “See, it says right here.”
Even after showing the ticket to her, the woman still didn’t seem to want to move or say anything. Alex frowned.
“I’d say you could have it, but my sister’s girlfriend’s birthday is today and I can’t just give up my seat.”
The woman finally acknowledged this and nodded. She then took out her own ticket to double check. Without speaking the woman slid over to the next seat and smiled at Alex. Alex couldn’t help, but notice the adorable dimples that appeared on the tan woman’s cheeks. Said woman then held up the ticket. It was for the one right next to Alex’s seat and it seemed that she had just taken the seat over by accident.
“Thank you,” Alex said as she sat down. She wasn’t sure if she should say anything else to the woman. It had been an awkward situation, especially the fact that the woman hadn’t said anything.
But soon Alex realized why. A friend of the woman’s joined her and soon they were using sign language. The woman hadn’t spoken because she couldn’t. Alex frowned at herself for thinking that the woman was awkward.
Alex felt like she needed to apologize and as soon as she was about to say something, a soft voice came from the woman’s friend.
“Excuse me?”
Alex felt her heart race. Was she about to get reprimanded by this woman’s friend?
“I’m sorry,” she apologized before the woman could say anything. But then stopped when both women looked at her confused.
“I’m Briana and this is Maggie. She wanted to apologize for taking your seat.”
“Oh, no. Tell her that it’s fine and was just an accident,” Alex said hastily. She then smiled at Maggie trying to reassure her that everything was fine.
Briana signed to her friend and Maggie smiled and then began signing really really quickly. Briana nodded and then looked at Alex.
“Um, she wanted to wait for me so that I could tell you… but she thinks you’re her soulmate.”
Alex’s eyes widened as much as they possibly could and she looked to Maggie then back to Briana and then to Maggie. This couldn’t be real.
“I don’t have a soulmate. There’s no…” As soon as she thought this her voice trailed off. “No way…” she whispered to herself. She didn’t have a mark for a reason.
Her gaze fell on Maggie’s wrist, which was covered by her sleeve.
She looked back up at Maggie. “Can I see?”
Maggie read Alex’s lips and nodded.
Slowly Alex moved Maggie’s sleeve back. She then gently turned over Maggie’s wrist and her breath caught in her throat. Right there it said, ‘I think you’re in my seat.’
Alex almost wanted to cry. She had told herself for ages that she didn’t have a soulmate. She continued to tell herself that she was fine with that. But now that she realized that she did have a soulmate, all of those feelings seemed to wash away. A weight was lifted from her shoulders and all she could feel was overwhelming joy and excitement.
Alex finally lifted her gaze and met Maggie’s eyes. How did she know that Alex was her soulmate? Anyone could have said that she was in their seat.
“How did you know?”
Maggie signed to Briana and Briana laughed.
“What?” Alex asked, curious.
“She said that when you were checking her out that she noticed nothing on your wrists.”
“Oh,” Alex blurted. “I-I wasn’t…” She couldn’t really deny that she wasn’t checking her out. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
Maggie smirked at Alex and shook her head. She signed something to Briana who rolled her eyes.
“She says not to worry because she was checking you out too and that you look fantastic in that dress.”
Alex couldn’t have had a bigger smile on her face.
‘What do you want for dinner?’ Alex signed. It had been just over a year since she and Maggie had met. It was ridiculous how close they grew in such a short amount of time. Maggie ended up moving in after just two months of dating. And now Alex couldn’t imagine her life without her.
‘You,’ Maggie teased.
Alex rolled her eyes. ‘You can have that later, but for now what do you want?’
‘Thai?’
‘Thai’s perfect.’
Maggie smiled at this, gracing Alex with those adorable dimples. She'd never grow tired of Maggie's smile and warm eyes.
‘Now?’
‘I was hoping so,’ Alex signed. ‘I’m starving.’
Maggie nodded. ‘Now it is then. Let’s go, love.’
#Sanvers#Supercorp#My Fic#Fanfic#Fluff#Alex#Alex Danvers#Maggie#Maggie Sawyer#Kara#Kara Danvers#Lena#Lena Luther#Supergirl#Fic
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Hey @loveofmylonglife !!
92 truths
rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end choose however many people you want to tag!
LAST …
[1] drink: water
[2] phone call: my auntie
[3] text message: my best friend
[4] song you listened to: It’s Like That by RUN DMC
[5] time you cried: maybe.. 3 weeks ago, if we’re not talking laughter-crying
HAVE YOU EVER…
[6] dated someone twice: no
[7] been cheated on: no
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: yes
[9] lost someone special: no
[10] been depressed: yes
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:
[12] jade green
[13] mint green
[14] lilac
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends: yes
[16] fallen out of love: no
[17] laughed until you cried: hooo yes
[18] found out someone was talking about you: yes, good and bad
[19] met someone who changed you: yes
[20] found out who your true friends are: i dont know, maybe i knew that before now
[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: heh yes
GENERAL…
[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: 6 i think
[23] do you have any pets: yes, kitten of the name Mika
[24] do you want to change your name: noo
|25] what did you do for your last birthday: visited my dad in qatar, swam, played board games!
[26] what time did you wake up: like 10.30am
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: probably watching narcos or being attacked by my cat
[28] name something you cannot wait for: for summer, camping and swimming, passing my driving test and driving cousins about like rebels
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like an hour ago
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my family dynamics- hooo boi i agree with you there. and how i’d handled certain situations. where i decided to do 6th form, being brave enough to confess love. having the brain capacity and energy to think thoroughly for myself about my spiritual beliefs. sometimes i think it’d be easier if i’d grown up not questioning stuff so much
[31] what are you listening to right now: the end credits of narcos. my love.
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ah my old basketball coach
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my inability to revise for shit
[34] elementary: What about it? if you mean the *cough* sherlock piracy, the actor played alongside cumberbum in frankenstein, then went off and did elementary. felt a bit like he nicked his acting pointers to go imitate him. but im not bitter! oh this means primary school: ledge. i was a loving teacher’s pet
[35] high school: same mostly girl’s schools, year 8 was peak :(, but year 9 was PEAK and best fricking thing ever. i moved a lot but made some great friends. then got stressed at alevels but v funny friends. school is stress i dont need to go back to that
[36] college: uni is TBA. i will enjoy my own space
[37] hair colour: brown
[38] long or short hair: short
[39] do you have a crush on someone: not really
[40] what do you like about yourself: that people trust me a lot, that i make my sisters laugh so much they look like gargoyles, that i have little things im good at.
[41] piercings: Ears
[42] nickname: depending with who: karimmer/rimmer, kima, karma, gary
[43] relationship status: single and ready to spread my legs. in bed to sleep because thats the most comfy sleeping position
[44] zodiac sign: im a goat
[45] pronouns: she/her
[46] favourite tv show: this is fluid. right now i am addicted to narcos. (not like that)
[47] tattoos: none
[48] right or left handed: right
FIRST…
[49] surgery: just sewing up my chin?
[50] piercing: ears
[51] best friend: maysa my cousin, since i was 3, who i knows near everything about me (every time we meet i just catch her up on the new shit). we fuckin tight
[52] sport: this is FUNNY. but i guess swimming, in a leisurely, non-competitive floating way
[53] vacation: tunisia, like what else besides visit family every summer obv
[54] pair of trainers: MINE DIDNT LIGHT UP ! they were PINK tho
RIGHT NOW…
[55] eating: nothing
[56] drinking: nothing. sad days
[57] I’m about to: watch pedro pascal in game of thrones
[58] listening to: nada
[59] waiting for: nada
[60] want: this is a lot. want to feel energy coursing through me. want to be physically able to sleep for a day. to kiss. to have photographic memory. to actually have a spec of an imprint, a positive, a help, on the world. to meet up with all my old friends. to understand myself. to write something and make someone think with it.
[61] get married: some day. i forget im 19 and family members are suddenly going ‘hey karima wanna get me to find u someone heh?’
[62] career: during and after uni, i’d like to write stories. and do art. academia would be cool, researching and writing kickass linguistics papers about memes. but i do not want to dwell on this
WHICH IS BETTER…
[63] hugs or kisses: both, but hugs only if they’re proper gourmet ones
[64] lips or eyes: eyes
[65] shorter or taller: taller
[66] older or younger: older
[67] romantic or spontaneous: I AGREE WITH WHAT U SAID BOTH BOTH IS GOOD. spontaneity is madly romantic
[68] nice arms or nice stomach: oooh. stomach i think
[69] sensitive or loud: yep i agree again ^^ someone who’s both is brilliant, we just both gotta be in the same hyper mood then BAM whole house telling us to shut tf up. overall tho.. someone who’s sensitive and understanding is more important. someone who cant switch to being sensitive is so closed off
[70] hook up or relationship: relationship
[71] trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker if they’re not like. pablo escobar level trouble maker.
HAVE YOU EVER…
[72] kissed a stranger: yeah stupid
[73] drank hard liquor: no
[74] lost glasses/contact lenses: yes
[75] turned someone down: yes poor unfortunate souls
[76] sex on first date: no
[77] broken someone’s heart: i dont Think so
[78] had your own heart broken: yes
[79] been arrested: no
[80] cried when somebody died: yes
[81] fallen for a friend: yes rip me
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[82] yourself: at times. i always believe it’ll kinda be alright in the end, that i’ll get to where i want to be, but i dont always believe i have what it takes Right Now. this is hard to explain.
[83] miracles: kind of. depends. i believe it was a miracle i got As and A*s in my gcses when i barely revised. and that my sister causes rain and thunderstorms when she prays for them. some miracles. i feel like a lot more used to happen
[84] love at first sight: no, thats romanticising someone as a concept and i am all too guilty of it
[85] santa claus: no and i dont think i ever did?! i discovered who he was simultaneously with ‘he’s fiction’. but thats okay with me
[86] kiss on the first date: whatever man i know nothing
[87] angels: yes
OTHER…
[88] current best friend’s name: Kathryn, steph, maysa, rabeeya
[89] eye colour: brown
[90] favourite movie: shaun of the dead or How I Live Now
[91] favourite flower: honeysuckle, def jasmine.
[92] favourite season: summer whosoever should like to also do this, tag me and go for it!! im a curious bastard
#ah time flies filling this in#me#ask meme#a little shy of posting this but ehh#also forgive my lack of eloquency its too late for epiphany-level opinions on things#this is a lazy ask meme
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jearmin roadtrip au
this is just a throwback of tinkerlu. she deactivated her tumblr wherein her tumblr is full of treasures especially jearmin like gosh i really miss her.
anyway here’s her fic:
ok so armin’s senior year of high school has just ended and holy fuck is that exciting. he’s so exCITED WOAH. he’s so excited. so. so like the plan is that hanji and levi are gonna be coming to pick armin up in about a week so he’s super pumped because idk he’s like. DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL? WOAH. and he gets to hang out with his dorky but cool cousin and her scary fiancé and his BEST BRO EREN RIGHT? WRONG.
So eren is a really loyal dude right like. he’d do anything for armin ok. and it’s not his fault that like. his mom didn’t tell him she had signed him and mikasa up for some cooking classes man idk. (ANNIE WOULD SOMEHOW ALSO BE INVOLVED SO THEN EREN COULD HAVE A SUMMER ROMANCE TOO OK) carla is somehow involved in this whole “eren can’t come with u and hanji on ur trip this year” thing and armin is like. oh. fuck. so he’s like. well shit. cause he needs a new friend to bring and armin has lots of friends but. not really. ones that he’d necessarily want to spend like. 2 weeks with. in a car. with his nutty cousin yo. so him and eren have a sleep over every night that week to make up for the fact that they won’t be spending 2 weeks of a roadtrip together and armin’s like “EREN WHO THE FUCKLE DO I BRING?” and eren’s like. “shit idk reiner?” and armin’s like “reiner’s at his lakehouse with bert” and eren does the eyebrow thing and armin does the eyebrow thing back cause everyone knows reiner and bert are doing the do. so then eren’s like “YO I GOT IT. CONNIE” and armin’s like. HOLY SHIT YEAH THAT COULD WORK CONNIE’S RAD. BUT HEY. GUESS WHAT. TURNS OUT. CONNIE IS ON HIS UNCLE’S RANCH IN THE COUNTRY. LIKE. CONNIE WHAT THE FUCK. and connie’s like “sorry y’all” and armin’s like. fUCK EVERYTHING. and eren’s like. shit son at this rate you’re gonna be alone with levi and hanji that’s gonna suck. armin does NOT. i repeat. does NOT want to go alone at all because levi and hanji alone in the car together are bad enough cause they bicker like they’re already married and then they make out and argue and hanji’s laugh is cute but can get obnoxious and levi is so SCARY AND ARMIN LOVES LOVES LOVES THEM TO BITS. I MEAN THEY’RE FAMILY BUT. FAMILY CAN GET. VERY ANNOYING. but he also doesn’t NOT want to go on the road trip because??? ROAD TRIP. SEEINGS THINGS. SEEING. THE. WORLD. EXCUSE ME??? ARMIN ISn’T GONNA GIVE THAT SHIT UP EVER. NEVER EVER. and then suddenly armin feels so fucking dumb and he’s like. marco. and eren like snaps his fingers and he’s like POLO! and armin’s like. don’t do that. so armin calls marco and marco’s like. “sorry bud but my sister just had her first baby so next week is family time, i’m gonna go see the new babe, sorry sorry” and armin’s like “it’s ok freckled jesus, i know babies are important” and then marco’s like “one sec” and armin can hear jean in the background. and suddenly everything clicks together in his mind and he feels so LAME. BECAUSE JEAN. so armin can hear like marco say “jean do u want mac n cheese” and jean is like “helll YEAH” and armin’s like “MARCO. PUT. JEAN ON THE PHONE.” and marco’s like. lol ok. so then it’s like: "y-yo" "JEAN!" armin yells into the reciever causing jean to cringe cause WOAH NOW BOY UR VOICE IS LOUD "jeez, didn’t anyone ever tell u to use your inside voice? god my ears are ringing." and like armin ignores jean’s obvious annoyance. (annoyance that helped get them over the awkward greetings hell yea) "sorry i just. i can’t believe i didn’t think of this sooner!" "think of what?" jean and armin are not NOT friends but that’s not to go and say they’re GOOD friends either. at least. well. it’s more of a. they get along well and there’s a slice of sexual tension between the two that neither really understood so they both always just dismissed it as something weird "would you like to join me on a road trip with my cousin and her fiance?" armin can hear marco laughing (laughing at how jean’s mouth drops because what) "w-what?? is this some. dumb joke or?" "no jean it’s-" and then jean hears like. struggling and then he hears eren’s voice saying something like "NO. I’D RATHER U GO ALONE THAN WITH JEAN" and armin’s saying something like "EREN YOU DON’T EVEN DISLIKE JEAN AS MUCH AS YOU THINK YOU DO" and jean is like. "Armin. yes. whatever the thing you asked? yes." and he realizes too late that he let his competitive impulses take over and like. now he’s just agreed to go on a road trip with a (very very cute holy fuck armin is so cute and nice u don’t understand) acquaintance right after he’s finally just graduated from high school. but jean is not a man to go back on his word and he did already agree so. he decides he’s not going to back out. no matter what. so then armin like. legit fuckin…sQUEALS and he’s like “THANK U THANK U THANK U THANK U THANK U OH MY GOD JEAN WE’RE GONNA HAVE A LOT OF FUN I PROMISE I PROMISE OMFGMFGOMFGOM THANK THANK” and he like hangs up (he doesn’t even tell jean the details omf) and then marco is smiling at jean like, marco has a fricken apron on that says something really lame cause marco’s the type to wear a lame apron (and still look so kawaii) and he like and he’s like "looks like ur summer isn’t gonna be as boring as you thought huh?" cause jean really didn’t have any summer plans and jean’s like "omf ur so lame pls stop" and then him and marco eat mac n cheese and watch something like icarly because why the fuck not ————————————————————————————————- ok boom, fast forward to the day before the trip, so armin texts jean a list of the things he’ll probs want to bring and jean is like woah hello but he’s like “nah it’s cool” so jean is actually kind of excited about this trip because it’s either this or being bored so?? but anyways so hanji and levi arrive that night and they’re in armin’s house hanging out and hanji’s like “yo wheres eren?” cause usually he also stays there over night the day before they leave cause they leave at like 5 am to beat traffic idk levi’s weird about timing and driving and whatever. and armin’s like "oh no eren can’t actually come" and hanji like. does a double take and even levi is like. woah there cause he knows HE wouldn’t want to be a third wheel to his and hanji’s lovefest. and armin smiles and is like "don’t worry yo i got another boy lined up" and hanji is just. so smart she leans in and raises a brow and she’s like "ooh is he cute?" and armin blushes because "HANJI WHAT" because he never thought of jean that way? (liar) sure he might have stared a bit too long when in gym jean would take off his shirt after running for a long time or during the swimming unit he MAY or MAY not have stared at jean’s abs for longer than would classify it as a glance but. BUT HEY NOW. so hanji like. ruffles armin’s hair and she’s like “omf he IS cute isn’t he lemme see a picture!!!” and armin’s lIKE HANJI. but she gives him a noogie until he shows her pictures and jean has REALLY lame facebook pictures so armin’s blushing and all like “i swear he looks better in person ok” and hanji is like. laugh snorting because oh my god his selfies. but then there’s a picture of him and marco at the beach and she’s like “oh hey, he actually is hot, hello handsome” (then she does like a cat call or something) and levi’s like grinding his teeth because he gets jealous so easily but him and hanji already had a long talk about it (after he tried to punch a dude for trying to buy hanji a drink omg and hanji was like LEVI U LITTLE IDIOT but they still had wild sex that night cause they’re weird about stuff BUT THEN THE NEXT MORNING THEY HAD THE TALK U KNOW) and she’s like if u try and be a dick again like that i’ll punch ur dick and not in a sexual way so he’s like. oh shit no thanks. so anyways then. armin can’t even sleep that night because now he’s. having second thoughts because hanji reminded him that he kind. of. likes jean? not really! but. like he could. see himself kissing him. and liking it. a lot. like. ARMIN REALLY DOESN”T THINK ABOUT BOYS THAT MUCH BUT (LIAR) he came out of the closet a while back like. he didn’t really have doubts about his sexuality ok like. he remembers that he told eren and eren was like “what’s gay” (and armin had to explain it to eren i guess cause eren never pays attention to things idk he’s probaby always thinking about hot wheels cause that’s what boys think about) and mikasa was like “cool” so everyone was cool with it like. hell yea so armin’s real chill about it all. but he doesn’t usually like…fantasizing about his friends/classmates but he may or may not have had a few fantasies that starred one horsefaced fellow. so he’s blushing and like. OH FUCK HOW COULD I. FORGET. OH SHIT THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. CURSE U CONNIE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO GO GOD CONNIE THIS IS ALL UR FAULT A PLAUGE ON UR FAMILY CONNIE A PLAGUE MEANWHILE jean is cuddling up to go to sleep and he’s like. thinking about spending 2 weeks with armin and he doesn’t hate the idea at all. he starts thinking about all his conversations with armin and he’s like. i actually really like this kid, he’s smart and sweet and kinda like marco but i don’t see him as a brother??? so anyways, jean then thinks about armin’s lips and he’s like. he also has nice lips. and then he’s like WOAH THERE COWBOY HOLD UR HORSES HAHA LOL THAT’S ARMIN WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HE’S A BOY YEAH LIKE WOAH CALM DOWN THERE JEAN JR. and jean’s like. woah there calm down. and so he has trouble sleeping too so he goes and sleeps in his ma’s bedroom (yeah he’s like 18 so fricken what) and he cuddles with her and she’s like “jean ur 18 u dumb shit get outta my bed” but then she strokes his hair and kisses his forehead cause she honest to god loves the kid even if he’s a dumb butt sometimes SO ANYWAYS. BOOM BAM SUN IS UP THE DAY HAS BEGUN so it’s the morning now. and armin is blushing and tired and hanji is loud and hairy and levi is like. everyone be quiet i’m trying to loudly pack up the van while mumbling to myself. and jean’s mom drops him off and she’s like “be a good kid ok” and jean’s like “yo i’ll try ma” and she smacks the back of his head and stares at him and he’s like “OMF OK CALM DOWN” and she drives away and then jean is kind of awkwardly standing by levi’s van and levi just. YANKS jean’s stuff outta his arms and is grumbling to himself and he packs it in the car. and hanji runs over and is like. “WOAH JEAN UR TALLER IN PERSON HUH?” and jean’s like “do i know you?” and hanji is like “no but armin showed me ur facebook pics last night” and armin LIKE. BODY SLAMS INTO HANJI AND HE’SLIKE “NO I DIDN’T HANJI STOP WHAT THE HECK HANJI LOL VER FUNNY” and jean can’t help but laugh because. maybe this won’t be as awkward as he thought and armin is so extra cute today oh. what is this. so they all finally get in the car and hanji is sitting with levi in the front and armin and jean are sitting in the roomy back and levi is like. “so jean, since you’re new to all this, i’m going to tell you the rules” and hanji like. turns around and in her best levi impression she’s like “there are no rules” and armin laughs cause hanji has the best levi impression like omf hanji. and levi groans and is like "YES THERE ARE RULES." and hanji is like. "omf ur such a baby" so then levi lists this HUGE jumble of rules like "no touching the car, no dirt in the car, no anything in the car, ur now allowed in the car" and jean is just so fuckin confused and hanji is like, just zoning out and then jean feels a hand on his arm and he looks at armin and armin’s like "just ignore him, he always does this, i think he’s just nervous about the trip so it helps him to pretend he has control over things he kind of really doesn’t." and jean nods because hey he can understand that kind of thing. so then they let levi talk himself out and then the car ride is pretty silent actually until they make their first stop to rest for the night it’s this nice little place and armin and jean share a room and levi and hanji share a room and like. jean and armin are about to go into their room and they see hanji grab levi’s ass as they’re closing the door to their own room and jean blushes so hard and armin just sighs because this is so normal for him. so he gets the door open and they awkwardly stand in their room and thank god there are 2 separate beds. so they get ready for bed and jean tries not to think about how kawaii armin looks in his baggy pjs and the fact that “ARMIN U. WEAR. GLASSES?” and armin’s like “usually i wear contacts” and jean’s like WOWOWOWOWOOW cause jean sure does like glasses. anyways. they go to sleep and it’s a rather uneventful night for them both (not for levi and hanji though ;) ;) ;) ) so then they set out on the road again but this day is much less awkward so hanji starts talking about the scenery and then levi makes a poop joke, like a real ass joke about shitting, and usually the car is silent after he makes them but JEAN. JEAN. FUCKING. LAUGHS. LIKE. SNORTS LIKE. AND. LEVI GASPS AND IS LIKE “FINALLY SOMEONE WHO. KNOWS REAL COMEDY UP IN HERE” and armin and hanji groan and jean is like “OMFG POOP” and then they laugh about bad jokes like. jean fuckin loses it and armin wants to be annoyed but jean’s laugh is actually really cute. so anyways then they’re just driving and it all looks so pretty and jean starts asking dumb questions like. “would u rather be a short man who looks like a man, or a tall guy who still looks like a kid” and THEN HE REALIZES HE. SHOULDn’T HAVE SAID THAT CAUSE. LEVI AND. THEN. HANJI STARTS. LOSING IT. SHE LAUGHS SO HARD SHE’S LIKE “I”M GONNA PEE MY PANTS OH MY GOD” and levi is like “fuck u jean” and jean’s lke NO I SWEAR. I SWEAR I DIDN’T MEAN U. and he just keeps digging a deeper hole for himself and he’s like motherfuck me and my big mouth and armin is laughing too though and that’s cute. and then they all settle down and jean’s like omf and then they get some fries and they sing or something idk. then they sleep in the car that night. ————— IDK SO. LOTS OF THINGS HAPPEN. YOU KNOW LOTS CAN HAPPEN IN THE DAYS THAT HAVE APPARENTLY HAPPENED ALREADY. but like. the next few days are really rad. jean already feels so comfortable with hanji and armin and levi and him and levi are actually like. bonding. and hanji and armin are talking and they’re watching levi show jean some huge-ass trees and hanji leans over to armin and is like "oh my gosh they’re actually getting along" and she’s smiling and armin’s like "who knew what laughing at levi’s poop joke could do for ur relationship with him" and then hanji tickles armin and his loud ass squeaks get levi and jean’s attention and then jean stares too long and levi punches his shoulder and he’s like "hey jean, you got a boner for armin?" and jean splutters and is like "WHAT NO?" and levi is like "lol yeah right, you sound like me when i kept sayin i didn’t like hanji." and then levi leans against a tree and is just watching hanji kiss armin’s forehead and tickle him and jean is standing there awkwardly and levi’s like "my future wife" and jean like. rubs the back of his head and he’s like "hah cool." and levi’s like "yo jsyk ur coming to the wedding. i’ve already decided." and he gives jean this. super serious look and jean like. is like. WOAH??? and he smiles a dumb jean smile and is like "hell yea bro" and then levi starts walking towards the other two and jean follows and is like i think he likes me woah that’s awesome (yo cause everyone has heard stories about levi from armin and eren and the dude does not sound easy to get along with but hey. jean’s special) so then that night they’re all sitting on the end of levi’s van looking at the stars and hanji and armin keep talking about the constellations and then jean and levi keep inturrupting with like “oh u know what that one is? my ASS” and they’re such CHILDREN and then hanji smacks levi and he pulls her closer into his arms and it’s cute and then armin looks at jean and he’s like "hey jean? thanks for coming i’m really glad you’re here honestly." and jean’s like. "y-yeah…" and it’s like the right mood for a kiss and it’s very emotional but they don’t kiss (not yet) and then. suddenly. it’s saturday. and it’s almost been a whole week and they can’t believe it and it’s crazy. and they’re all. so. like. it’s like. they are all close lik.e after you have a sleepover with someone and you’re suddenly like best friends? that’s what it’s like for jean and them like. they’re like. like JEAN IS ANNOYING AND WHATEVER BUT WHEN. HE’S KIND OF. put into an environment like this he chills out and hanji and levi love him ok they’re like “omf i hope him and armin kiss” and they’re like, shipping them so hard and ANYWAS SO. SO OK. so then they make another stop for the night. they don’t stop at a hotel/bed and breakfast EVERY night, just when it’s possible. but this night it’s possible but. it’s like. some place meant for honeymooning couples. so levi and hanji are like yes pls but armin and jean are like ????? Ohouegh so anyways. levi checks them all in and the person at the front desk looks at armin and winks and armin’s like NONONONO U DON’T UNDERSTAND AND jean like. stumbles and he’s like “WE’RE NOT TOGETHER” really loud and the lady just laughs and she’s like “yeah right” and they’re so blushy and like. this is SO DUMB. LIKE. the place itself isn’t even like. that romantic it’s just like a small place idk. it has a hot tub outside. so anyways. armin and jean go into their room and it’s really embarrassing cause it’s obviously meant for a recently married couple cause like. the bed is the cheesy heart shaped shit and it all looks really crappy but it’s just. meant to be romantic or something like everything’s red and there’s a pack of condom’s on the bed or something like. it’s fuckin weird. and armin starts blushing and jean’s like WHAT THE HECK IS THIS. and they’re both so AWKWARD and jean’s like “i guess i’ll take a shower” and armin’s like “OH OK I’m GONNA CHECK OUT THE HOT TUB” cause he just??? but then jean is like "OH YEAH ME TOO ACTUALLY" cause jean loves hot tubs man. and armin’s like fuck no. but he can’t say he doesn’t wanna go check it out now cause then jean would know somethings up but there isn’t anything up!!!!??? AND SO THEY. AWKWARDLY CHANGE INTO THEIR SWIM SUITS AND WALK DOWN TO THE HOT TUB AND. armin just. GETS IN THE HOT TUB AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND WOAH THAT’S REALLLY HOT. and he’s suddenly really excited about the temperature cause it feels so FUCKING. GOOD ON HIS SORE MUSCLES so he looks at jean smiling to tell him that but jean’s like. jean wore his shirt on the walk down to the hot tub right so he’s taking it off and armin’s like oh no abs oh no pecs oh no body oh no look oh no oh no oh no. and he looks down and jean gets in and is like. WOAH THAT’S SO HOT OHOAHOAHHeouYESSS. and armin’s like. blushing but he gets over it and they relax finally and have a little splash fight and it’s kind of dark outside but it’s so nice and there’s a small breeze and the water is so warm and they’re both relaxing and armin notices that there are like. smell good candles and he uses the lighter to have those and it’s like. so relaxing and they’re just. so. it’s so chill. and then. and then things get deep. cause you know hot tubs are where you talk about all that deep shit. that’s where like. they’re both just a little overheated so they’re not ENTIRELY in their full focused mind and they’re tired enough already to just. spill about everything in their life and they DO. so jean talks about his embarrassing childhood moments and his mom being really weird and annoying and how she caught him masturbating once and then armin asks him what he was masturbating to because he’s armin and then jean is like “OH MY GOD WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT TO ASK” and armin’s like “SORRY I WAS JUST CURIOUS OMF” and jean splashes him and moves closer to armin and like. leans in to whisper and he’s like “i was jerkin it to…weiners” and aRMIN. LAUGHS SO HARD. CAUSE JEAN WHAT HTE FUCK AND JEAN’S LAUGHING SO HARD AND He’S LIKE OMFG DUDE UR FACE AND ARMIn’S LIKE HAHAhahaaaaa OMFGgg and jean’s like. “nah nah don’t worry like, i was jerking it to like some hot chick i don’t remember” and armin’s like "lol why would i worry?" and jean’s like "um. like…idk? i’m not gay is what i mean." and armin’s like "Oh oh. oh. yeah yes." and jean’s like. does this awkward laugh and just. MAKES THIS WORSE AND He’S LIKE "cause. cause only gay dudes. uh. jerk it to dicks right hahaha" and armin’s like "yeah man i ONLY dingle my dangle to dicks like, that’s the ONLY thing, there is NOTHING else." and jean’s like. "haha. WHAT? ur gay?" and armin’s like "yeah man" and jean’s like OH. OH OH oH oH OH. and then it’s awkward for a second like. armin’s like. oh wait jean isn’t a dick about this stuff is he? and armin has a small internal freakout cause this could mess up the rest of the entire TRIP???? AND jEAN is like "no i’m. that’s good." and armin’ slike. THAT’S GOOD? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. GOOD FOR WHAT DOES JEAN LIKE ME??? WAIT ARMIN DOn"T THINK THAT HE LITEARLLY JUST SAID HE’S NOT GAY ARMIND DON’T BE DUmb and they’re just LAME BOYS IN A HOT TUB AND THEY’VE BEEN IN FOR TOO LONG AND. SO. JEAn’s LIKE. hey now. and jean just. kind of. looks forward and is like. "i lied. i was jerkin it to dicks" and armin’s like. "oh. cool." and then iT’S JUST REALLY AWKwARD CAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN SAY LIKE. WAS JEAN JUST. TELLING HIM THAT OR WAS HE MAKING FUN OF HIM OR WAS HE TRYING TO TELL ARMIN HE ACTUALLY LIKED DUDES OR?????? ARMIN IS LIKE. GOING OVER THE CONVERSATION IN HIS HEAD TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ARMIN’S LIKE “ok jean told me he wasn’t gay because he didn’t crank his lever to dingles but then i told him i was gay and then he told me he does doongle the dongle to dickies? what the fuck” and jean is like "i wanna kiss him i wanna kiss him i wanna kiss him oh god what the fuck" and armin’s like "hey wanna get out now?" cause his skin is feeling gross and like. wrinkly and pruney and stuff and jean like. jumps cause he was lost in thought and he looks at armin and he has no idea what he just said so he’s like. "ok" but neither of them. like. move to get out. and they’re both just kind of staring at each other and. AND. AND THEN. JEAN LEANS IN AND. AND. AAANNNNNNDD. THEIR lIPS TOUCH. JUSt. A TOUCH. AND THEY’RE BOTH. FROZEN WITH THEIR LIPS JUST. TOUCHING TOGETHER. JUST A CHASTE KISS U KNOW. and. it’s like. time stops like. woah there. and like. armin suddenly just. feels SO hOt LIKE. HE”S IN A HOT TUB BUT IT JUST FEELS HOTTER THAN THAT ANd HE JUST. KIND OF. STARTS LIKE. REALLY KISSING JEAN AND JEAN’S LKE OH. and THEY THEN THEY’RE JUST. LIKE. sloppily making out kind of (THIS IS LIKE. AN ENTIRE HIGHSCHOOL CAREER OF AWKWARD SEXUAL TENSION BEING LET OUT OK LIKE. DO U UNDERSTAND LIKE, THEY WEREN’T REALLY FRIENDS BUT THEY WERE LAB PARTNERS OR SOMETHING AND HAVE TALKED AND LAUGHED WITH EACH OTHER AND FOR YEARS HAVE TRIED TO DENY THE ATTRACTION THEY HAVE FOR EACH OTHER BUT HEY HEY THEY DIDN”T TRY HARD ENOUGH APPARENTLY HAHA) but they both don’t REALLY know what they’re doing to be honest like. they’re just. emOTIONAL AND TEENAGERS. And THEn they like break for air and armin’s like “OK WE SHOULD .UH LEt’S GET OUT NOW.” aND HE LIKE. IS GIGGLING AND FEELS DRUNK and just of slips while he’s getting out of the hot tub and jean tries to catch him but they both kind of slip BUT THEY’rE OK. and then they kind of like. run back up to their room like. omfg. and just. they get back into their room and are having like. a giggle fit thing going on like. a serious giggle attack and they both kind of fall on the bed and they’re laughing so hard and just. then you know like jean looks at armin and his cheeks are all flushed and he doesn’t have a shirt on and he just wow and jean’s like. “armin i think i’m gay 4 u” and armin’s like “jean i think that’s the gayest thing you’ve ever said” and then like. armin pulls him back in for another kiss and it’s really intense again right like. they get REALLY into it and. idk it’s just. very intense like. armin rolls on top of jean right and they’re kissing like woah there. LIKE YOU KNOW. WITH THE TONGUES. THEY’RE KISSING LIKE. WITH THE TONGUES WOAAAAH. and armin jUST SUDDENLY JUST. STARTS TALKING LIKE. ARMIN HAS THIS HABIT OF TALKING A LOT WHEN HE’S NERVOUS BUT HE ISN’T REALLY NERVOUS HE JUST. CAN’T STOP TALKING FOR SOME REASON (hanji has the same problem like when her and levi are making out she just. starts talking about science and stuff and levi’s like STOP OH MY GOD OR I’LL MAKE U STOP and then it’s like a fun challenge like, he knows he’s done good when he can make hanji shut the fuck up hell ya man ;) ) OK BUT YEAH. SO ARMIN JUST SUDDENLY STARTS. TALKING LIKE. he breaks the kiss and is like "jean i really really like your abs, do you work out a lot? what’s your workout plan do you eat a lot of vegetables? you’re a good runner i know that you seem like the athletic type too and i’ve always found that really attractive about you. gosh when i think about it jean i’ve always found you REALLY attractive you know like. I never SAID anything or THOUGHT much about it but. you’re just. very VERY much my type did you know that Jean?" and jean’s like. WHY IS HE TALKING SO MUCH HE’S SO CUTE?? and just armin is so embarrassed cause he doesn’t know how to stop talking and he’s just like. touching jean’s sides or something idk and jean laughs cause HEY THAT TICKLES. AND THEN ARMIN CAN”T HELP IT HE STARTS TICKLING HIM AND JUST. THEN JEAN IS LIKE (IDK WHAT’S WITH THIS AU AND TICKLING MAN IDK) "STOP STOP STOP STOP" BUT ARMIN WON’T STOP SO JEAN JUST. SUDDENLY FLIPS THEM SO NOW JEAN’S ON TOP AND HE’S HOLDING ARMIN’S WRISTS DOWN AND BOTH OF THEM ARE SURPRISED AND JEAN’S LIKE. "oh. sorry hah" and armin just. is silent. and wide eyed and. jean thinks he must’ve just really messed up and then armin just. idk lets out some desperate breath that kind of squeaks at the end but like, a sexy squeak (I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SEXY THINGS I’m SORRY) and jean just can’t fucking handle it and he just. attacks armin’s lips and armin’s like. OFMOMGOFngn and jean doesn’t let go of his wrists and armin’s like OMF THIS IS SO HOT and jean’s like THIS IS SO HOT. and neither of them are actually like. that good at kissing but it’s just REALLY GReAT AND THEY’RE JUST. AND jean let’s go of armin’s arm’s SO HE can lower his body right so he can get his face closer and armin like digs his hands into jean’s hair and it’s just gettin real hot and heavy and JeaN’s LIKe HOT DAMN AND THEN AND THEN THERE”s A KNOOCK ON THE DOOR AND ARMIN LIKE ACCIDENTALLY HEADBUTTS JEAN CAUSE HE’S SO SURPRISED BY THE NOISE AND THEN THEY”RE BOTH LIKE. IN SO MUCH PAIN CAUSE ARMIN HIT THEIR HEADS REALLY HARD TOGETHER LIKE OUCH JESUS CHRIST. AND THE KNOCKING HAPPENS AGAIN AND ARMIn’S LIKE OWwwwww and he like. armin like goes to the door and. opens it just a crack and there’s some dude standing there. and he’s like. “your friend left this at the hot tub” and he holds up jean’s shirt and armin’s like. “oh uh. thanks” and then the guy leaves and armin closes the door and just. kind of stands there and holds up jean’s shirt and jean face palms because UGH. and then. jean is sitting on the bed and armin is leaning on the door and they’re both breahting really hard and looking anywhere but each other but finally they look into eachothers eyes and they blush and armin’s like. "uh. so…that just happened." and jean’s like. he like scratches the back of his head and he’s like "yeah. yes yeah. yes that. yeah…" and they’re both really quiet and then armin’s like. "so…" and jean’s like "soo…." and they just. armin like. walks over to jean and just. kind of sits next to him and then he notices the time and he’s like "OH SHIT. IT’s LIKE. 2 AM AND WE NEED TO GET UP AT 5 WE HAVE TO SLEEP" and jean’s like. yeah. so they like. get ready for bed and it’s really awkward but also not? but it is? like. they’re both brushing their teeth next to each other and jean like flicks armin with some water and armin laughs but then they both look at each other and blush and it’s AWKWARD BUT CUTE. and armin puts his glasses on and jean’s like “damn him and his cute glasses” so then they’re ready for bed and. they remember that they have to share the bed so jean’s like. oh uh. shit. and armin kind of crawls into bed and looks at jean and jean’s like “you. you want me to sleep on the floor or something i mean like-” and armin like. grabs jean’s arm (HE WAs standing close to the bed) and just pulls him onto the bed and jean gets under the covers and armin like kind of just. idk. snuggles into him. and jean’s like. OH OUGMROFMIgm and armin’s BLUSHING SO HARD AND ARMIN’S THINKING AND HE’S LIKE “HOLY SHIT DID I JUST. CUDLE HIM WOW OH WOW I CAN’T BACK OUT NOW OMF WHaT I JUST TOTALLY DID THAT ON IMPULSE FUCMAOIGFGj” but then jean puts his arm around armin and. they both just. cuddle and fall asleep that way. mmmm. ——————————- YO BAM IT’S 5 AM NOW SO LEVI BANGS THE DOOR OPEN (he used the spare key to jean and armin’s room actually but levi’s the type that likes to make an entrance) SO HE’S LIKE. RISE AND SHINE U LITTLE SHITS. and armin sits up and he’s like, squinting, and his hair is all crazy and levi HAS TO HOLD BACK A SMILE CAUSE EVEN HE CAN’T DENY THAT ARMIN’S MAJORLY KAWAII ANd THEN LIKE HE SEES JEAN GET UP AND HE REALIZES THEY WERE LIKE. CUDDLED TOGETHER AND LEVI LIKE. Smirks and he’s thinking like “oooh i can’t wait to tell hanji omf” and WOAH speak of the devil hanji walks past levi and into jean and armin’s room and she’s IN HER UNDERWEAR HANJI WHAT THE FUCK. AND SHE’S WEARING HER LIKE. SEXY UNDIES (sexy to levi at least idk how sexy they actually are he just thinks she’s sexy in general and he doesn’t even know why) aND HE ACTUALLY IS LIKE “HANJI WHAT” and she;s like "they’re just underwear levi don’t freak out. I wear bikinis like. it’s the same basically kind of" and LEVI IS LIKE. NONONOONONONOONONONONONNONONONONONO and he like. GRABS HER ARM AND PULLS HER BACK TO THEIR ROOM AND THEN. HE LKE. CLoess the door and he’s like "ARE YOU. WHAT THE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" and hanji’s like "TAKE A CHILL PILL BUD" and she’s about to walk away but levi like. grabs her face and pulls her close and he’s like "hanji. even if. you think it’s fine to walk around in ur sexy undies. eVEN IF YOU THINK THAT’S FINE. THINK ABOUT ME TOO OK LIKE??? I DON’T WANT OTHER PEOPLE SEEING HOW SEXY U ARE LIKE. I MEAN. I. I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES UR UNDIES HANJI" and hanji blushes (they’re really weird) and she’s like "omf i didn’t even think about taht" and levi’s like. "just don’t do it again" and hanji’s like. hey now. and she like. jumps him and he catches her and they make out and do sexy things. SO BACK TO THE BOYS. so they get up and get ready and are all set and they close the door behind them at the same time that levi and hanji open their door and like. it’s so obvious that they were just up to something cause levi’s face is flushed and hanji’s hair is messier than usual and they’re both just. a total mess. and jean is like. woahmg HOLY SHIT OK SO. THEY GET BACK IN THE CAR AND THEY”RE DRIVING AND THAT DAY IS PRETTY UNEVENTFUL HONESTLY. (armin and jean almost kind of act like their little make out thing never happened but like, not really cause they’re both really extra awkward around each other but it’s not terrible) BUT THEN. THEY SLEEP IN THE CAR THAT NIGHT AND THEN. THEY FINALLY. GET TO THE BEACH. OH YES. THE BEACh THAT’S RIGHT. THE BEACh YO YOOYOOYOYOOY BEACH BEACH BEACH AND ARMIN IS LIKE FUCK YES THE OCEAN FUCK ME AND HE LIKE RUNS AND GOES TO THE LITTLE CHANGING AREA AT THIS PARTICULAR BEACH AND HE PUTS HIS SUIT ON AND JUST SLAM BAM THANK YA MAM he jUMpS in the water and god armin fucking loves the ocean wow. and jean is just like. “what.” and hanji is like “I’m GONNA LOOK AT ROCKS” and then levi’s like “they really like the ocean this is like the highlight of the trip” and he like. slaps jean’s back and he’s like “good luck” and jean’s like “GOOD LUCK WITH WHAT LEVI. WITH WHAT????” but anyways so they all change into their suits and shit and armin’s like. enjoying himself so much just swimming in the goddamn ocean and then hanji joins him and OMF IT’S AN ANIME BEACH EPISODE. like. jean doesn’t konw if he wants to get in and LEVI. PICKS HIM UP AND THROWS HIM IN THE WATER AND JEAN’S LIKE “NEIGH” and levi like. GETS in the water and they’re all splashing around and having fun like. they’re having real ass fun man like. the fun that you like. just don’t even have like. THEY’RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN THAT LEVI. IS LIKE. SUPER CLOSE TO SMILING OK. THAT’S LIKE. THAT NEVER HAPPENS. and jean loosens up again and he puts armin on his shoulders and hanji sits on levi’s shoulders and they do a chicken fight thing u know the thing they do in the pools in those movies and whatever and then they get out and are laying in the sun and they brought towels and then levi and hanji are like “we gonna go get some hot dogs yo u want some” and the boys are like “hell yeah” so levi and hanji go and then it’s just armin and jean. and. armin is like. “do u ever imagine being a plant and just. using photosynthesis” and jean is like "i think i really like you" and they both. freeze and like. armin’s like omfg and jean’s actually turning red and it ain’t from sunburn honey. and he’s like "i. idk why i uh. wow" and armin’s like. "do u mean like. what. what kind of like" and jean’s like "WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN? ISN’T IT OBVIOUS" and then hanji’s like "WHAT’S OBVIOUS?" AND JEAN SCREAMS and then hanji gives them their hot dogs and armin still hasn’t said anything back armin’s just kind of. sitting there staring at the ocean and it’s real dramatic ok and like. AND SO THEN LIKE LEVI’s LKE. i’m gonna get a thing from the car and jean’s like I’LL HELP and levi’s like. yeah ok whatever loser and so hanji’s like "so did u and jean kiss yet" and she’s totally joking but armin blushes and she’s like "OMFG U TOTALLY DID" AND ARMIN’S LIKE HANJI PLS and then she’s like "omf armin ur so cute" and armin’s like. HANJI no you don’t uNDERSATND. and she’s like. "yo then help me understand kiddo." and he’s like URHG and if he had a pillow he would stuff his face in the pillow and he’s like. "jean just told me he likes me" and hanji is like "oh? what kind of like?" and armin’s like IDK THAT’S WHAT I ASKED HIM AND HE SAID "ISN"T IT OBVIOUS" BUT I DON"T WANT TO GET MY HOPES UP YA KNOW? and hanji’s like but. you kissed right? isn’t that like. proof enough that it’s the kind of like you want it to be? and armin’s like “WELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT JEAN THOUGHT OF THE KISSING OK” and hanji’s like. omf armin just be happy things are how you want them to be for once jesus christmas. and armin’s like. “but…i’m gonna be i mean. we’re. COLLEGE HANJI. IS IT REALLY A GOOD IDEA TO. EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP WHEN. WE DON”T HAVE THAT LONG TOGETHER?” and hanji’s looks at him and laughs her fuckin ass off and she’s like "ARMIN WHAT? if anyone can handle that kind of thing it’s you! I mean heck, you know levi and i didn’t go to the same college! I WAS IN A DIFF COUNTRY KID, but we made it work!" and armin groans and he’s like "yeah well you and levi have known each other since you were kids or something so it was easier for you." and hanji sighs and she’s like "armin hon, sometimes you have to just, i dunno, have fun? take things for what they are and enjoy them as they come and even if you lose them later you can still be happy you at least got to experience them right? i mean you just kissed the dude it’s not like you have to get married right? but if you want to go out with him and kiss him more and he likes you i don’t see why not?" and armin sighs and he’s like. IDK IDK IDK IDK and jean is talking to levi and levi’s like “what the fuck is wrong with your face it looks like you painted it red or something what’s up?” and jean is like “have you. ever liked someone?” and levi just. stares at him. and is like. "no i’ve never had a crush on someone that’s why i’m fuckin engaged. jesus you’re an idiot." and jean is like "NO i"M NOT. I WAS JUST. I MEANT. JUST. WHAT. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A CRUSH?" and levi is like "are you sure you’re 18? i don’t think you’re actually 18." but jean is totally serious and then levi’s like "oh my god you’re actually serious? you’re asking me for relationship advice oh my god." and jean just. stands there buT STAYS STRONG and levi’s just like "ok ok, what do you want to know you can ask me 2 things." and jean’s like OH FUCK THAT’S A LOT OF PRESSURE DUDE. but he decides to ask "how did you first ask hanji out?" and levi kind of. looks away and is like. "i didn’t. she asked me out” and jean is like…”oh” and levi IS LIKE “BUT I WAS THE ONE THAT PROPOSED TO HER OK.” and jean is like. “oh ok.” and then levi kind of. flicks his hair a bit and he’s like. "she. we. hanji and i have known each other since. i dunno, we were like, dumb 10 year olds or something, it’s been a long time. then when we were like 16 i realized i had a STUPID crush on her when my friend asked me about it and it was fucking ridiculous and. apparently she liked me too. so it worked out. cause she. showed up at my house at like. 2 am one night and threw a rock at my window and fucking BROKE the goddamn thing and. jesus christ she’s fuckin nuts. she broke my window and then said something awful like ‘DON’T BREAK MY HEART LIKE I BROKE YOUR WINDOW LEVI I MEAN IT’ like i was supposed to know what that meant. but whatever that’s how she asked me out and then by the second date when she kissed me it clicked and i realized we were dating." AND THEN JEAN LAUGHS BECAUSE OMF. HE CAN’T REALLY IMAGINE SUCH A LIKE. IDK. NORMAL TEENAGE LEVI BEING CUTE AND DUMB BUT WHATEVER and levi’s like. "kid honestly from what i’ve seen of you, you don’t think a lot before you do shit. so i don’t know why you’re thinking so much about this." and jean’s like "well. cause…ugh" and levi’s like. "just…follow your heart or some dumb shit." and levi gets the thing he needed from the car like. an umbrella or something and they walk back to hanji and armin and like. they sit down and armin and jean kind of joke around but it’s pretty awkward and then it’s getting late. so they go back and drive to some cabin near by and it’s awkward but there are separate beds this time. so both armin and jean are having internal battles with themselves to just get over their fears of what the fuck ever and kiss again because kissing was nice and why aren’t they kissing? SO LIKE. 2 MORE AWKWARD DAYS PASS and they’re like, already kind of taking the trip that will take them back home right? so like. everythings pretty calm and quiet and whatever and then like. then OH SHIT. FLAT TIRE. So THEY GET A FLAT TIRE OH NO. and so then levi’s like, what the fuck and hanji’s like what the fuck and then so basically hanji and levi leave to go walk to the nearest gas station (which is fairly close luckily) and they leave armin and jean in charge of the car. so the 2 boys don’t want to waste like. the car’s battery or whatever and it’s pretty nice out so they’re standing outside leaning against the car and like. finally armin’s like. "hey. jean so. i mean like. you. uh. so." and jean’s like. "yeah." and then it’s quiet again and finally armin just gets so frustrated with himself that he’s just like "JEAN JUST. GO OUT WITH ME." and. and then they’re both quiet again save for like, armin’s heavy breathing cause he basically just shouted that and jean’s like. gonna die because omf. and just. armin just. is like. "SO WILL YOU?" and jean’s like. "will. will i what??" and armin’s like "GO OUT WITH ME WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME JEAN." and JEAN LIKE. SNAPS OUT OF HIS DUMB LIKE. ZONE OUT aND HE’S LIKE "AYEN" and armin’s like "WHAT???" and jean’s like "I MEANT YES SORRY I. I MEANT. YES. UH. YES. YEAH. UH. LEt’S GO OUT YEAH SOUNDS GOOD YES." and then THEY’RE QUIET AGaIN AND facing each other and like. then armin’s just like. "ok. good. GOOD." and he leans against the car again and jean leans against the car and they’re both standing there and. just. and. then like. another tense moment passes and then THYE"RE KISSING. LIKE THEY JUST START. KISSING LIKE. IT’S LIKE THE HOT KISSES MAN LIKE. WOAH THERE BOYS SLOW DOWN THERE LIKE, THOSE KINDS OF KISSES U KNOW LIKE THE ONES FROM THE WEIRD HONEYMOON PLACE AND jUST. armin’s like. thank the lord and jean’s like omf this is so gay and i love it and they’re KISSING and it’s GREAT and then like. then jean starts kissing armin’s neck and armin’s like “fuck yes” BUT THEN. JEAN LOOKS UP AND. LEVI AND HANJI ARE. STNADING JUST. LIKE. STANDING THERE AND. ARMIN is like “JEAN WHY. DID YOU STOP I’M GONNA RIP UR CLOTHES OFF ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, WHY’D U STOP” and then levi coughs and armin squeals and is like. he is suddenly like. 10 feet away from jean and he’s trying to act innocent and he’s like "H-HELLO" and levi just sighs and starts fixing the tire and hanji just kind of winks really weirdly at them and she walks up to levi and is like "u owe me 20 bucks mister" and levi just like. gives her the money and groans and jean and armin are confused and hanji’s like "levi was betting that you guys wouldn’t be kissing but i was like, OH YES THEY WILL BE" and armin and jean blush and feel so DUMB but are so happy and they get back in the car and the tires all fixed and they’re all ready to go and like. armin and jean are holding hands and it’s really cute AND SO THEN YOU KNOW LIKE. TIME PASSES AND THEy”RE ALMOST HOME and like jean and armin have kissed a few more times but they haven’t had anymore like ravenous makeouts and they’ve cuddled and shit and it’s CUTE as FUCK and anyways then. they’re home. and the road trip is over. and like. levi and hanji like. drop jean and armin at armin’s house and then drive away back to their place that’s like an hour away or something. and so then like. armin and jean just kind of go hang out at armin’s house and armin’s gpa isn’t home and so. hey. they like go and kiss but then jean’s mom comes and jean has to leave and he’s like. “thank u for inviting me” and armin’s like “anytime” and jean leaves and armin just. DOESn”T KNOW WHAT TO DO HE DOES A HAPPY DANCE AND JEAN IMMEDIATELY CALLS MARCO AND IS LIKE “MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO” and marco’s like “OH jEEEEZ” and then idk. i’m just gonna end it there but then the sequel that i wanna type up too would be hanji and levi’s wedding ;) and also like. college and what the fuck would happen with that shit idk man this is lame and long already i spent too long on this i should be embarrassed but i’m like. not at all. OK. OK THANKS FOR. READING THAT LIKE. IF YOU READ THAT WHOLE THING WOAH. I’m LIKE WOW MAN. GOOD FOR YOU LIKE HOLY SHIT. I didn’t even read the whole thing and i wrote it like what. ok. omfok. I’m DONE NOW
#jearmin#jean kirschstein#jean kirstein#armin arlert#jean x armin#tinkerlu#shingeki no kyojin#fanfic#sugoi fanfic#levihan#i really miss tinkerlu
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PET Ep 8
Downstairs, a phone started ringing loudly "ARTHUR, SOMETHING'S DOWNSTAIRS" a strong german accent came from a room, upstairs. Angy had heard the phone ringing as well. She heard Vincent screaming at Arthur about it but she knew that the young boy wasn't going to pick it up, being that he was probably busy with god knows what. She got up from her bed and went downstairs to pick up the phone. "Hello?" Phone tm: "yes hello? Is this P.E.T? yes uh, we called a few days ago and your leader scehdualed something for today at this time, and we're wondering where you are.. oh, yea, we're the people who called about the abandoned hospital-" "Oh shi-" Angy cursed under her breath, not knowing what to do "Um.. Who is this speaking?" "This is Allie Richsun, is there a problem?" He'd sigh. There was nothing to DO today, despite there being a lot he could've done today. Just the fact there was nothing FUN he could do today. What. "Angy can get it," He'd reply, scrolling through Tumblr and being bored. Ooh hey, that's a pretty nice aesthetic. Like. He never reblogs anything. haha "Uh- Nope! There's no problem at all! It's just.." Angy took a deep breath, where the hell was Ari or Era? "Let me.. call you back in a few seconds, we are preparing.. Um, bye!" Angy freaked out and hung up Vincent slide down the stairs, going over to the kitchen and drank from the milk carton Arth doesn't know what's going on right now, so he's just gonna sit here and do whatever he's doing. Call him when he's needed. The young girl paced up and down the room. Just then, a piece of paper caught her eye that was lying down on top of the dinner table. She grabbed it and read it. After finishing reading it, she freaked out a bit more. What the hell was she supposed to do? She was so concerned that she didn't notice Vincent. "ARTHUR!" she called out "GET DOWN HERE!" Vincent had his hair down with a cucumber facial mask "Coming, give me like a second," Arthur walked out of his room, down the stairs and into the kitche- "Vincent, dude, no. Five- or, SIX other people, counting that other new fangirl person, live here, man." His mood just went from bored to a little pissed (but not enough to actually yell or break anything). Oh yeah, he forgot Angy called him for something, so he'll finally face her. "What do you need again?" "What is this?!" she pointed at the note "Did you know about this?!" Vincent put the milk carton back and hummed over to meet the other two "No? I've been in my room like, all day, how would I know?" He should probably grab something, now that he thinks about it. "I just received a call from a client saying they're waiting for us, yet neither Era or Ari told us a darn thing about it!" Angy then placed the note back down "And now suddenly you're in charge?! I thought they were the ones who handled all of these things but noo they had to go and do whatever the heck" She sighed "Do you have Ari's phone number?" "Of course I have Ari's phone number. But if they're on a case that takes Era and Ari, they probably don't have signal." He'd shrug, entering his phone password (and hiding it from the other two) and tapping Contacts, handing her his phone. "Please don't look at anything else. Not like it's bad, just that it'd be pretty rude if you didn't." He's gonna throw that milk away later just sayin'. That, or hide it from Vincent somehow. Vincent read over the note and shrugged, "Also, I used all the bath soap. I brung over some of my own bath salts. The toilet is broken and the shower is clogged." Vincent no "Trust me, I don't want to see anything on your phone for now" She tapped Ari's name and the phone started ringing. She knew Arthur was probably right about the rest of the team not having signal but for the situation they were in right now, it didn't hurt to try. "I'm not fixing it, that's all up to you, dude." He's probably wearing the clothes the mun posted Arthur being in earlier. Arthur's just gonna sneak his way into the living room, sitting on the couch and being bored. Aka literally the picture that mun sent Arthur being in. Vincent groaned, "I know how to repair explosives and illegal weaponary. But bathrooms?" He came over next to Arthur and turned on the TV "The note said you're in charge! You have to fix this or at least tell Ari what the heck is going on!" She kept impatiently waiting for the co-leader to answer her phone. "Sounds like a personal problem." "You can try to," It's probably playing a kids network, like Nick Jr. or something, especially because of who last used the TV. "Ari! Where the hell are you?!" She said once she heard Ari's voice "I just read the note that you left us!" "I'm not being in charge; YOU can be in charge, th- oh nevermind." He'd tell himself, seeing as Angy was talking to Ari now. On the other end of the line, you can hear someones voice rambling about Spop and the other girls She covered the phone "I'm not going to be in charge of anything!" she whispered yelled, then going back to talking to Ari and hearing the voice of a man ramble. She was quite confused but it wasn't her problem "Mind explaining?!" "What do mean North Carolina?! Also, I have your brother's phone because I wanted you to know that you might have forgotten a little appointment in an abandoned hospital?" "A test? You know, there's a thing that is called com-" she was interrupted by Ari yelling "Max" Who was Max? Before she could ask however, Ari had already hung up on her. Angy cursed as she face palmed herself. Vincent put his arm around Arthur, not exactly touching him. Vincent didn't really seem to think about it. Woah hey there Vincent, getting a little touchy. He's gonna. Scoot a little. Itty bit. It's been like, a day man. He'd also shout 'yo' at the mention of himself. Vincent doesn't even know why Arthur is scooting, but continues to laugh at Tom and Jerry killing eachother. After cursing at herself for a few more moments, Angy knew what she had to do. She went over to the couch, handing Arthur his phone "C'mon you two, we gotta go" She then started walking away to her room in order to get ready herself. "Go where?" Vincent got up "Well, we gotta go and clean up the shit Ari and Era left us because apparently it's a test and right now I just wish I could stab myself" "Do we have to though?" Arth really doesn't wanna go anywhere. Let him sit here and do absolutely nothing. "Trust me, I wish we didn't either but we get payed for this." Angy replied "Plus, I don't want to get yelled at" "I have an appointment with a guy who wants to collect my diamonds...But just small ones..." He'd sigh. "Fine," He's gonna sit here 'till they move, though. "Where we going?" "Your diamonds can wait for a bit, right now we just need someone to drive us over there because it seems that they took the car." Going alone with Arthur would have been fine but she didn't want to leave the possible insane man with bombs and guns alone in their home, not to mention it was part of the "test" she had no choice but to go with him. "The call was from a Allie Richsun, she said that it was an abandoned hospital." "I'll drive, my Porsh just got right out of the shop! New brand new paint job~" "Y'know, the last time we got involed with abandoned places didn't end well, but that's fine I guess." He'd shrug, getting up. "Anything specific about the ghost? Special things we might need to bring?" "ILL BRING EXPLOSIVES!!" Excitement and energy in Vincent's eyes "NO. No explosives. Explosives are bad in an abandoned place. I broke bones because of it. I had three floors of rubble on my little innocent teenage body. No explosives." Vincent groaned loudly, though a glint in his eyes told the he's going to bring some anyways "Ah fuck.." she muttered as she went back to the phone and called back the client. Unfortunately, she didn't pick up "Well shit.. I sort of hung up on her and she didn't exactly tell me what was going on so I guess we bring all of the things just in case." She turned over to Vincent "No explosives. Gut red isn't a good paint color for walls, trust me" "Don't worry 'bout it. No explosives..." "I have a strong feeling there's still gonna be explosives." G l a r e at Vincent before he runs up the stairs to get his stuff. Angy didn't completely trust Vincent's word but had no time to argue and headed off to get dressed and grab the things they needed VINCENT RUNS UP He can be heard gathering heavy equipment and dropping a large item as it makes a huge BAM When Angy heard the noise, it almost caused her to drop her ghost tracker and almost break it "Damn it Vincent.." she muttered before continuing to collect several things He walks over to the bathroom and washes his facemask off A crack can be heard in the bathroom "I broke the sink." Angy finally left her room and heard the crack from the bathroom "Hey? Mr. German guy? We can't exactly wait for you forever" Vincent walked out with his regular outfit and a large leather backpack "I'll call my plumber. He gives me a great discount when I put a gun to his head" "Nice, okay. Now, where the heck is Arthur?" Arthur heads to his room, grabbing his journal and gun and stuffing those in there. What else did he need? Uhh, maybe he should bring some markers.. naah, it'll just take up space. Besides, the only two types of markers he could grab are the expensive ones or Cray-ohmygod. "VINCENT, what the FUCK," He'd grab a few things real quick before putting on his jacket (not the fur one, the other one that doesn't make him look like he just got out of a heckign pool. It's probably like bright red too. What a nerd) and grabbing his messenger bag, charging up to the other two. "Here!!" Despite running at speeds probably not appropriate for a 15-year-old, he stopped and prevented himself from crashing into the other two. also he probably put on some heckin pants, mun forgot to add that part in "Alright guys go get in my Porshe outside. I'll go grab the keys and go" "Don't take too long, for all we know this woman is gonna be fucking pissed at us but hell, that isn't our problem." Angy then walked out the home, waiting near the Porshe for Vincent. She looked at the car, did this man have some serious money? Probably not. Knowing him, he probably did something else which Angy wasn't eager to know. Here he come!! Probably sprinting cause now he's suddenly in the mood for ghost hunting. Probably because of his bag. Anyways, he's also out there now, just sort of doing that thing where you seesaw your feet back and forth and you sway with it. Mun is probably gonna edit this later with a better description of it. Vincent comes to the porshe with his pink keys with a poodle on his keychain, hopping in and starting it Arthur takes shotgun, and no one's gonna stop him. He's probably gonna mention the keys later. :^) "Where to sweetheart?" With the doors unlocked now, Angy sat inside in the backseat, seeing as Arthur had taken the passenger seat. Once she sat down, there was a new problem at hand. Where was the abandoned hospital? "Wh-" Sweetheart? He's. Flustered. A little bit. His jimmies have been russled- "Hey, can I have my phone back by the way?" "I wonder if they're talking about that abandoned hospital on 26 Street" "You casually just know about run down hospitals?" "How would you know where that is?" This man has been here for like. A day. Two days. What. "I hear about it in China Town" "You must hear about a lot of places in China Town." "Strip clubs and stuff. Ye" "I guess we should look there then" "Best guess. But- wait, do you hear about them AT strip clubs or do you hear ABOUT strip clubs?" Does he want this question answered? Haha no. But he already said it so too late. "There isn't time for this! Let's go" Vincent took a second to say, "Both..' "Uh- okay yeah let's just. Go. Hehe." Woo this got awkward. He probably should've expected this, but now that he's heard it he's got mixed feelings about this guy. Vincent backed out of the drive way and started to drive to the street, cranking up classical music He quietly sang to it Angy sat in the backseat looking out the window, being surprised at Vincent's music choice. She didn't really expect it but she just shrugged it off. After about eight minutes, Vincent stopped the car. Pointing at a large mossy medical building pointing up from the trees Okay, he didn't expect this. Especially hearing about the fact Vincent's been to a strip club atleast once, if not other times before. "So.. pink keys, huh?" Mun was going to start conversation but oop they're here. "A friend gave them to me..." "A friend gave you your car keys." Angy closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, getting ready for the mission and how she was going to deal with the client and both Vincent and Arthur. "Okay, we're finally here. Arthur, when we get there, you're the one who's leading since you're still in charge" "Uh, no. You're the leader now. You're better than me at the whole tracker thing. I'm just good at writing it down and occasionally breaking things. As the person in charge, I now give you my rank. Or something like that." "Ugh. Your sister is going to kill me but, fair enough. C'mon." She opened her backside door and got out, feeling the cool misty air hit her face. He'd get out of the vehicle aswell, going ahead of the others and waiting outside the door. Vincent followed along, kicking dirty cans scattered around. what did those cans do to you. Allie blinked, looking at the three childing "uh..hello there! Are you P.E.T?" she asked, a tinge of worry in her voice. they didnt look like adulted Angy made her way across the large field to the main building where the lady was "Yes, we are P.E.T, paranormal exploration trackers! We are terribly sorry for keeping you waiting, traffic was a bit crazy" she lied to the woman. Allie rose an eyebrow, nodding slightly "um..just saying. you may need this, considering your teammates Angy dear. now, go ahead and head inside" she handed Angy a piece of paper, which..counted their lives? thats odd. "and Arthur, Ari told me about you. No killing things. you either Vincent. the ghosts are for capturing, not killing." Oh shit that's the person. Or who he guesses is the person. He just gives a small wave. "Wh- what do you mean? I'm not gonna kill them," He probably would if he really needed to. He's gonna rush over there, doot de doo Vincent shrugged and looked over at the piece of paper with their lives, "Do I actually have that many lives?" "Yes. dont let them waste m'dear" Allie hummed "or else i might have to retract quite a few." "We're gonna die?" Vincent said anxiously, looking over at Arthur. Angy was taken a bit aback by how this stranger knew some things about them but it seemed that Ari had talked to her about them. Angy took the paper and read their lives, Vincent peering over her shoulder and reading the paper as well "I guess so, it's surprising.." Angy looked up at the lady when she threatened Vincent "Okay then.. um.. Let's go guys, I do hope you do have your flashlights, it seems pretty dark in there" Allie paused "actually" Wh?? What?? "Well yeah, I died once, it's not that bad." Arthur shut up, you've only died once as a kid. "im gonna need your flashlights" she held out her hands "and equipment" "No." "What?" "NU UH!" "yes! Give me flashlights and equipment please. and dont try killing me, ill retract livees~" she sang "No." He'd turn around, leaving the building. "No." "We are not letting you have our flashlights." Vincent started to join Arthur He'd walk back to the car, opening the door and staring at the women directly in the eyes.. "No." And sitting in the passenger seat. "You do know we need these to get the job done right?" Allie flew over and grabbed Arthur by the hood, holding him in the air and humming "kid. listen. this is a test. if you cant fare without a flashlight and equipment i could have Ari force you to leave PET, and ill easily take all your lives." "Okay, make me leave PET! That's fine! Just don't like, take my lives maybe? That'd be nice maybe!" "What the-" Angy saw the lady no clip and immediately ran to where she was with Arthur "Hey! You leave him alone!" "I will gladly let myself get fired from PET aslong as I don't, y'know, die forever? Can that be arranged maybe, I dunno?" "The hospital has equipment, flashlights, and other various objects hidden around it. you'll find them. and Arth. ooh Arth. You'll die forever really soon either way with your reckless lil acts" Vincent grabbed Arthur by the legs and tugged him away from Allie's grasp, holding Arthur in a carrying position "You know, I'm starting to question Ari's methods. And you didn't tell us this was Ari's plan sooner because..?" Allie glared at Vincent and swooped down, grabbing Arthur again and pulling him away, flying up high enough for Arthur and herself to be out of anyones reach "HEY! Give him back!" "You really quite are. plus no teamwork. this excerise would force you to use teamwork, your wits, and forcing yourself to brave darkness and ghosts you cannot injure. All three of you. and use weapons you arent used too." "Okay sorry, say that again? I can't hear you over mY FEAR OF YOU CARRYING ME SO HIGH UP IN THE AIR TO WHICH I CAN DIE!" Angy's anxiety started to rise up seeing Arthur being so high up. She turned to Vincent "Do something!" Allie grinned "Exactly!! if i drop you, boom. i can snatch away all your lives. So, i suggest you listen unless you want to die, and Angy and Vincent, you might not want a very very pissed off Ari. or dead friend." Vincent shrugged and rummaged through his bag "CAN YOU PLEASE PUT ME DOWN??" Boi stop screaming- Allie sighed, looking at Vincent "you hurt me, i slam this boy into a tree." Vincent yelled in anger "LIKE, NOT THAT I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS BUT BEING SO HIGH UP KINDA SCARES PEOPLE EVERY NOW AND THEN!" "Well no shit, Ari's going to be really pissed when she finds out YOU KILLED HER BROTHER!" Allie blinked "...Arthur may be her brother, but she'd forgive me for killing him. i know she would. if she doesnt, i can strip her of lives too" Allie, please th boi is scard pls let him down he doesn't like this. he's kicking and flailing nonono sTop nO- "HEY, LIFE LADY! WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS IF YOU PUT ME ON SOLID GROUND!" "What the shit Ari..?" she said under her breath Vincent drops his bag and all his weapons and flashlight, "Bring Arthur down in peace" wowza thank u stronk german man. Mun lowkey wants to make him start tearing up but.. nah. Allie frowned "that wouldnt be much fun! Arthur, you drop your stuff too. easy to do, holding you under shoulders, not arms. Same for you Angy." "I'll catch your stuff Arthur!" Shouting below and raising his hands up Angy sighed but did what she was asked to do. Angy was never the one to turn to violence but this "woman" was testing her patience. Allie blinked, then grinned, simply 'despawning' all of Arthurs stuff "Wh-" oH My gOD. "DID YOU JUST DELETE MY FUCKING JOURNAL???" "huh" "no, dumbass. its in my inventory." there goes all of Vincent and ANgys stuff "Arthur please! Don't do something stupid!" Mun would like to add that Arthur is probably clinging to this lady. That or has a very strong grip and struggling immensely. Allie smiled "now, i have full control over the hospital. brightness levels, windows, even making it collapse. Im putting you three in there with 5 lives. meaning if one of you die, you all lose a life. But you'll respawn pretty quick. Dont give yourselves perma-killed. got it?" she chuckled "im locking you in there as well, how about ya'll go on in, ill throw Arthur in in a second." "Just.." Angy sighed "Please bring him down..?" "YES, YEAH PUT ME DOWN, THAT- THAT'S PROBABLY- GOOD," "This is scarier than that one guy throwing up in China town" "Get. in. the. hospital." she snapped, letting her eyes go all Sally-demon creepy stuff Angy turned to Vincent with a grossed out face but did not want to ask Vincent was the first one walking into the hospital Okay NOW he's tearing up. He's actually scared right now. Please don't drop him. He's not even scared of Allie, just the fact he might fall any second. Angy looked up at Arthur, noticing the tears and growing even more worried but she had no choice and followed Vincent to the building. Allie sighed "dont be such a baby. Ari said you were all brave. thats why i grabbed you. ew. put the tears away" she let go of one of his arms to slap him, before just holding him by one arm. "speaking of Ari, just know she told me to do none of this. im doing it for fun. so uh, if you get mad at her shes just gonna come after me and..yea, i dont wanna kill her. So." Allie shrugged "just dont get pissed at her for my actions." He'd scREECH, clinging to the one arm for dear life. Whoops he's too busy screaming and panicking to notice he has his phone. Because that's what you do when you're 15 feet in the air, being carried by some sort of floating lady who threatened to bash you into a tree and threatened to end you and your friends' existences permanently. "HEY, C-CAN YOU TELL WHOEV- WHOEVERS CALLING ME THAT- THAT I CAN'T PICK UP RIGHT NOW, KINDA DYING," Angy felt her pockets and felt her phone. Her eyes widened as she realized that she hadn't given it up. She started walking faster toward the building, finding a place where she though Allie wouldn't see her. She frantically started dialling Ari and hoping she would pick up. "Ari!" She whispered yelled into the cellphone, feeling angry and panicked and not wanting Allie to hear. "I hope you're happy with your fucking test because your brother is going to die now!" "What do you mean you didn't know!? This creepy woman right now has your brother hanging from 15ft up in the air!" Angy was completely confused but the tone Ari had in her voice sounded genuine "Trust me Ari.. I would save him if I could but this "woman", I don't even know what she is anymore, took all of our stuff." "Ari, please calm down" Angy felt some tears in her eyes as well. As much as she was mad before, thinking Ari had done this on purpose, she hated hearing any of the people she cared for cry. "She told us to give up our stuff and we did but.. she's not letting him go.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I don't know what to do..W-wait.. Billy..?" Is he gonna die?? Maybe he's gonna die. He feels like dying now. Maybe he should let go. But nah, Allie might regret it. But she should. He should focus more on screaming. Let's do that. Allie hummed, now swinging Arthur from side to side, refusing to drop him until Vincent went into the damn hospital If Ari meant for this to be like this, then would she want him dead? Maybe he SHOULD let go, that is if one of the only relatives he ever got along with decided to send him on a suicide mission. But there were also people here that cared about him, and that was bad too. I mean Angy sort of cared about him. Era was pretty okay. He barely got to know Spop or the other new intern, and Vincent seemed.. interesting? He's like, panicking less now, but still panicking. Maybe crying. A part of him is telling him to let go, but at the same time telling him that it'd be worth it if he just held on. Allie hummed "seems like your friends are inside. aww.. guess i gotta put you down. remember. five lives. Dont get yourselves killed, got it?" Allie kind of, threw Arthur into the hopsital lightly, before locking all the doors, leaving them in a completely dark room, still with cellphone service by the way. "Arthur, thank god!" Angy immediately ran up to him, ignoring Ari, who was still on the line "Are you okay?" "Why don't we use the cell for a light? Also, Arthur, nice air time" Oh boy now he's panicking More. Now not only is he without his phone, but also not knowing where everyone is and just kinda. Crawls on the ground until he can find something to grab. "Th- than- tha- yeah," Probably Angy or Vincent's leg, that or like a chair or something. Depends on how intact the hospital is, really. "Don't worry, you're safe here with us.." "Wow, watch where youre grabbing Arthur. You have your hand mighty close to my crotch I mean like you can if it makes you feel better" Vincent coughed nervously Angy, noticing she was still in the call with Ari, gave the phone to Arthur "It's your sister." He's too shocked to say anything, just sort of. Grabs fo-- LIGHT!! YES LIGHT FUCKING HELL-- he doesn't even care if there's someone on the other side, he just turns on the flashlight and shines it on his friends. "You're there, and you're there, that's good, we're good, we're not dead, I'm not dead, what do we do now." He's turning the flashlight every which way, making sure he's seen just about every dark spot in his view. "Arthur, your sister is on the phone. She has no idea who the fuck was the woman holding you up so high" "Oh hey Ari, by the way what the FUCK DID YOU DO THIS FOR?" "Yeah, I did almost die, because apparently you think it's neat to just send us on this mission you weren't here for that could've and might get us killed." He'd sigh. "Okay, thank you, but I'm still kind of pissed, just- come soon? Maybe? Please? I don't think this lady is gonna be happy with us talking to you for this long." Boy wipes his tears. No he didn't cry what're you talking about. He's gonna, start going somewhere with his phone flashlight. He has like, somewhat full battery, 60%. He'll be fine. Allies watching them from the shadows, she made a silent angry noise and snapped, forcing Arthurs phone to die. There the light goooess "Fuck.." Angy looked around in complete darkness "Guys, I think it's best if we stick together for now, just in case.." You can hear Vincent crashing into stuff "Was that you Vincent?" Knowing Arthur was closer to her than the young man. It must have been him rEET- "Oh oF FUCKiNG CourSE!!" He was very tempted to just smash it on the ground but. He stopped himself. No, he thought. It's a phone. He's gonna just, try locating his friend, finding Angy first and grabbing her wrist, before trying to find Vincent. "Vincent, can you just like, yell or something?" It may not be evident cause they're in the fucking dark, but he's very spooped right now. save him A small click echoes through the silent dark room followed by a loud gunshot "I found a gun!" Well, atleast he could see that. Guns do that thing where they do the light and then the shot right. Because if so he'll just walk right over there and grab the boy's wrist. "There, now we're together!" He. Didn't think that statement through. "You have a strong grip" "Whatever you say, dude." He'd 'look' over the rest of the darkness. "Now.. how do we get around here." "Okay then.." Angy tried to ignore Arthur's awkward comment "Anyways, we gotta at find a way out of here before we do end up being slammed into trees. How we'll navigate is a whole other question.." Vincent heard his favorite song play in the dark, "Guys! I hear something!" He says softly, mesmerized by the sound and disappearing into the dark "Yeah that's kinda- Wh- HEY!" Arthur tried to chase after him, but at the sound of his footprints, he was probably gone. He'd sigh, "Are you kidding me," He'd mumble under his breath. Angy was confused but tried to grab Vincent by his shirt "Hold up! It could be a trap!" But it was too late The song stopped in the silence, Vincent now totally gone and the dark wrapping around the two
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Android now occupies the number one place in the world Smartphone arena with a market share of 87% at the end of 2016 that means 9 out of 10 Smartphones in the world run on Android. With such dominance in the space, the creation of mobile apps has reached never before heights. But the constant innovation that fuels this market has major problems in terms of the development and testing timelines. Running an online Android emulator, which used to be a solution once up a time, is not good enough anymore. So what can companies and developers do to stay ahead in the development race? What alternates exists to improve your app’s usability, performance and customer satisfaction? Let us explore. With the explosion of Smartphones, customers’ screen size is reducing. People are moving from desktops and laptops to Smartphones for their everyday work and personal needs. This massive shift from big screens to a personal device has created a huge opportunity for developers to create tools that can help people with their work and their personal needs. Users can now view their spreadsheets and book movie tickets from their phones. Apple’s Appstore and Android Play store has become the ‘go to’ place for people to discover apps that meet their requirements. The ratings left on those apps will decide how many people will install those apps. Customers have once again become the king of the market. Days of unique apps are over. For your every need you will find at least two or more apps, giving you a choice. So if you want people to choose your app, install it, use and positively review it, your app needs to user-friendly, work on most handsets and be bug-free. In the past, companies and developers determined a product lifecycle. They planned the updates, feature upgrades etc based on the resources and other factors. Today the scenario is changed. The Market dictates the timeline. If your app is incompatible with the latest OS, or not render properly, or suck a lot of battery juice, off it goes into oblivion to be replaced by a better app. The fight for the screen space is constant. You can win the fight only if you develop faster than others, test it better and offer a good user experience. That means developers will need to compress their development cycle and testers should speed up their testing while at the same time, maintain high usability and reliability of the app. Android and iPhone both offer an easy to use platform for developers. iPhone has a few products (IP6, IP7, IP8 etc.) and versions (OS 8, OS9, OS10 etc). The permutation of devices and OS makes testing with real devices easier although buying that many Apple devices is quite an expensive investment. You don’t need an online emulator while testing for iPhone. In contrast, Android has a highly fragmented market. Apart from different versions (KitKat, Jellybean etc), there are different forks of Android (Stock, Cyanogen, OxygenOS etc) and there are also different skins that manufacturers put on their devices (TouchWiz, Optimus, Sense etc). Real android device testing to cover all the combinations is close to impossible and quite expensive. Enter Online Android Emulators
When they started, online Android emulators were like a boon to developers. They could cross test their apps across different devices without physically buying the phones. Most of the Android emulators were easy to set up and a fairly inexpensive solution. Most importantly, online Android emulators could mimic hardware and software behaviour making easy for developers to identify unexpected behaviour during the early stage testing. But as the market for apps grew, the demands on the app became even higher. Testing all the features of the app on an Online Android Emulators was not providing the full picture of the how the app would behave on a customer’s phone. For example, a user installs a new app on the phone and the next day he notices the battery is getting low very fast. Looking at the battery usage, he discovers the culprit is the new app and bam! He hits uninstall. He then visits the Playstore and writes a negative review of the app’s battery-sucking problem. The next 20 people who see that review will not install the app. These kinds of bugs cannot be easily identified using an online Android emulator. Apart from that, online emulators are slow because they have to replicate both software and the hardware components. thus slowing down the whole testing cycle. Online Android emulators also have other limitations that make them unsuitable for large-scale testing. There are a limited number of OS versions you can run on an Android emulator. Even on a good PC with HAXM acceleration support, you can run approximately 8 emulators at a time. Even if you manage to set up all the online emulators you need, one small problem can send the whole system crashing forcing you to start all over again. So what can app developers do to speed up their product lifecycle while releasing a relatively bug-free app? Is there any alternative for Online Android Emulators?
Testing on real devices has a few important benefits. Your testing can be in real conditions i.e. weather, location network accessibility, interruptions like SMS, calls etc can be tested accurately. You can also validate the screen brightness, visibility in different lighting conditions. Testing on a real device will be a lot faster than on an Android emulator. The biggest problem in using actual android phones is the cost of buying all the phones you need to test. There are approximately 11k Android phone models in the market making it financially impossible to test on all available Android devices. This is one reason Online Android Emulators became famous in the initial stages. You can run only one test at a time. If you have staff in another city or country, they cannot access the device. If you need to install an app, you have to do it manually on every device. Apart from that, there is also a question of logistics, maintaining the devices, updating them, etc all of which are time-consuming tasks. One tactic used earlier involved a combination of using online Android emulators during the early stages and a small selected list of real Android devices during the beta testing. While this would work for a localized team, it still does not optimize device usage and covers a tiny portion of devices while the fragmentation continues. Thus it is not an optimal solution. Is there a third alternative that can beat the disadvantages of online android emulator and real devices testing? In the recent times, a new mode of testing is gaining popularity among both amateurs as well professional developers. It is called Mobile cloud testing. What is Mobile cloud testing?
Testing on real devices using the cloud as the Interface is the new way of balancing the real android testing while making it economical and scalable. As a developer, you need not own any phones or buy expensive software. You connect to a lab that has a huge selection of Smartphones, select the ones you want to test on and start, it is that simple. You can run functional tests, automated tests, performance and other forms of tests easily. Since the interface is cloud-based, you can test from anywhere in the world, at any time. There will be some changes in the way you set up your test, install an app, etc. All the testing though will happen on actual devices under user-level conditions. You can set the location, observe CPU utilization, battery drainage and pretty much anything else that you can do with a device in your hand. These are the things you can never test with an online Android emulator. The best part is that you need not invest in any special infrastructure for such a facility. There are independent services providers who can allow you access to the device on a cost per use basis. You can even reserve devices in advance if you want to plan a battery of test over an extended period. Opting for mobile cloud testing service gives you access to real devices at a fraction of a cost of setting up your own lab. There are no recurring charges as most of them use a ‘pay as you go’ model. You can spend all your time in testing rather than worry about the infrastructure, maintenance and other problems that come from the ‘owning’ model. While there may not be a cost associated with getting Android emulators, they need a lot of expensive hardware to run a sufficient number of online android emulator. Mobile cloud testing does not have the problem. Using Mobile cloud testing, you can cover more ground over a large number of devices than if you were using either only real android device testing or the online android emulator. For example, if you have 10k scenarios to cover, you can spread it over 1k devices through automation rather than 1k test scenarios over 100 different online android emulator. One of the biggest benefits of testing mobiles over the cloud is that you are more likely to discover bugs that affect real-world customers than what an emulator can reveal. From a user satisfaction perspective, this is probably one of the biggest advantages mobile cloud testing has over online android emulator. Most of the app development work has moved to the agile methodology which means testing will run almost parallel to development work. You will need a way to speed up the testing process to meet the sprint deadlines. Using a mobile cloud, it is easy to streamline the testing process whether you are using a DevOps or an agile approach. Continuous testing is a lot easier to streamline over the cloud setup rather than via online Android emulators or even with real devices. Many development teams are spread across the globe. Cloud setup gives them an easy way to test seamlessly from different geographies. Security for Mobile apps testing
Different apps have different needs in terms of security. An Astrology app that gives general predictions may have little data security requirements while a banking app might need the testing to be done in a secure environment. Such clients can always go for a private cloud or even opt for on-premises setup. When you use a good solution provider, you can just hook up your existing devices to their setup and give access to your cross-border teams to test on the devices. Testing performance issues, be it CPU load, battery discharge or performance over 2G, 3G and other networks work a lot easier when you use the mobile testing via the cloud platform. You can select which network mode you want to be on and apply the test. This kind of flexibility is difficult and sometimes, impossible using an android emulator. Mobile Apps Performance Testing
Apart from the need to test for compatibility with existing apps, battery usage, network usage etc, and mobile apps will need to go through a round of performance testing. Due to the ever-increasing storage space in a Smartphone, users tend to store a lot of content on their phones. So it is necessary to find how the increase in storage affects the application performance. For example, if you are developing a photo gallery, how does your app perform when accessing 5 GBs worth of pictures and videos, v/s accessing 50 GBs worth of pictures and videos? Does it slow the pre-fetch? Customers are very unforgiving of apps that slow down their phones. In case your app has a server-side component, it is important you run a performance test to verify how many concurrent users the server can handle. There have been many instances where e-commerce sites crashed being unable to keep up with increased demands during holiday sales. These are a few areas that we cannot test on an online android emulator. A customer kept waiting is a customer lost A couple of years ago, it was acceptable to wait for two-three minutes to download an image on a phone. But today if your app takes longer than few seconds to start up, it is killed and replaced. The tide has shifted to the customer’s side in the Appstore and Playstore. The only way to win this game is to be Nimble, easy to use and not crash the phone. Thanks to Mobile cloud testing, you don’t have to wait for the slow, unreliable online Android Emulators anymore. Testing on Mobile cloud gives you the opportunity to cut your infrastructure cost, speed up your testing cycle, spread your testing over a larger set of devices and gives you close to real-world results. As the completion heats up for the screen space, you have one tool in your kit that can help your app survive the tough jungle of user reviews.
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#Mobile App Testing#Mobile App Performance Testing#Mobile Cloud testing#Online Android Emulator#Mobile Application Testing#Automation Testing
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Twitter and Tumblr are my safe places to feel. I came across some shit and felt the need to vent. Growing up in a two parent household, I was themost privileged Black child, until my younger siblings’ dad and a white women fucked it up.
My dad was hardly in the picture most of my life, and had the nerve to cop an attitude because I didn’t tell him Happy Father’s Day this one time. It blew the fuck up because I went in on his ass then we stopped talking, as if we had ever talked prior to this. Fast forward to the present, I’ve seen him twice in the years; both times it was because my brother was in the States.
Rewind to 2009, I was a sex crazed teen entering my first year of college. I started out young (at age 14) and orgasms were, and still are, everything. I was stuck on this one guy who was manipulative and pretended to only want me so that I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else. After three break ups in a five month span, it’s officially over, and then I’m pregnant. The next month, he’s with another girl, cheating on her every chance he gets, with yours truly, and the whole time, she’s trying to run their relationship in my face as if I didn’t already have that sack of shit prior to her being in the picture.
Fast forward through my 8 ½ months of pregnancy at age 18, was in labor for 4 ½ hours at the age of 19 after they broke my water, and I gave birth to the most perfect baby in the galaxy, Jeremy Andres Thompson.
I cried immediately after, as much as this was supposed to had been a joyous moment, I feel like I didn’t fit the criteria to be happy or be a mother, a single black female, broke as fuck, with issues with the father of my child and my mother (our relationship has improved since after my surgery in March when I moved out in April).
Leading up to my surgery, I decided to reach out to baby father to try and patch things up, but wound up in a web of repeated bad behavior on my end.
He has just started a new relationship with a girl he knew since high school. I didn’t know who, but with my great detective work, I figured it out within a week, of not a few days, but I didn’t say anything to him about knowing who she was for a few weeks. I was single and knew I could get what I wanted (dick and closure), so I didn’t allow his relationship status to deter me from my end goal. Nothing had changed from 2008 - 2009. Cheating on his current girl with me, lying to her about me, telling her the truth about me apparently, making me feel like it was my fault that he cheated, then after all that, and making me feel worthless, he slid right back in my panties like nothing ever happened, and my dumb ass let him LIKE 👏 NOTHING 👏 EVER 👏 HAPPENED.
I know I’m not shit. But that’s not why I’m here. I just feel sorry for anyone he’s ever dealt with after me.
CONSTANTLY leaving a trail of broken, manipulated women. I thought I was the only exception to the rule. I was fucking wrong.
IN THE TEN YEARS OF KNOWING THIS MOPHO, THIS WAS MY FINAL STRAW….
The week I had surgery (Mar 21), wound still fresh and everything, I’m popping Ibuprofen 800’s like a fucking champ, we take our son out for the day, and my mom was on some bullshit so we stayed at a hotel that night. We rode around looking for food, my son and I ate Sonic, and baby daddy didn’t want anything because he “doesn’t really eat fast food like that”. Me being completely out of it from the pills and pain and waking around all day when I shouldn’t have been (mom knows best), I shower, and doze off.
THIS IS WHEN SHIT GETS REAL AS FUCK.
While I’m in a daze, his phone is going off. He’s getting incoming messages from a female he dealt with in the past (I didn’t know this until a week later). Prior to this night I asked if he was still sleeping with her and he told me no. THAT WAS LIE #1.
He says something about being hungry and wanting to get food. This was about 30 minutes after we got to the hotel. I hate people driving my car, but I was in a daze so I let him use it. He leaves, I’m out cold, Jeremy is watch tv still. It’s about 1215a. I call and ask where he’s at, he comes up with some bullshit, so I do my thing and ask him to bring me a bottle of water.
Ladies, here’s a tip: if he’s doing some shit he ain’t got no business, he’s going to forget the fucking water.
And guess what?
A whole hour later, this motherfucker comes back to the hotel room I just paid for with NO FOOD and NO WATER, but came back with a Strawberrita in a tall can, completely plastered. I ask why he didn’t go to QT and he was like, “oh, yeah, I forgot it was right there.” (LIE #2) HOW? It’s a ½ mile away? Anyhow, I’m suspicious as fuck at this point, but I’m like whatever. I be knowing shit and don’t know I know.
Now mind you, I JUST HAD SURGERY on Monday, now it’s Saturday night/ Sunday morning, and this nigga has sex with me, but not before I give him head, and it (his pee pee) tastes like absolutely NOTHING. He had no scent down there whatsoever. I make a comment about how he tasted different and he’s like, “oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t shower.” (LIE # (FUCKING) 3
Bitch!!!!! I’ve given head to a football player right after practice. That’s what ‘I didn’t shower’ tastes like. Don’t fucking play me. In that moment I should have just been like you know I’m not feeling this, but I took one for the Thot Team and did it anyway cuz I thought I might just be paranoid as fuck. After the fact, I shower again, go to sleep, and have a dream about him fucking a girl named “Roxy”. “Roxy” sounds a lot like the name Judy 👀, but fast forward to the next week, I’m sitting on his lap going through his phone and something told me to go to his messenger app and find the messages between him and Judy. I go to the messages, look at the date, and BAM. The motherfucker got me. As previously stated, I thought I was the exception to the rule, but in that moment I knew I wasn’t. I had to go.
I should have known this ten years ago when he abandoned me with our child, but no, I thought I could have my family together, but he showed his ass, and on Father’s Day this year if I never speak to him again, I’ll be fine. I hurt for my child though, if anything.
So after being called out on his shit for fucking this girl and me within a couple hours, he manipulates the situation, gets me to chill the fuck out, but by the Saturday before Easter, he calls everything off. The spiteful bitch in me wanted to message his girl on Facebook and tell her everything, but I was like, “nah.” I’m too G for that, and she might not believe me anyway, so I left it alone.
But fast forward to Father’s Day…
Jeremy went to his dad’s the day prior and was acting an ass. His dad texted me saying he was “👌 close to beating his ass”. I call trying to talk to Jeremy, but he doesn’t give him the phone. He says he’s got it handled and the only thing I’m thinking is that Jeremy is in danger because I know how explosive his dad’s temper is. I calm down for a bit, but my thing is, if you got it under control, why the fuck are you texting me to tell me about it. Handle your fucking son. It’s amusing how Jeremy is “your son” when he’s acting up, but “our son” when he’s not. Anyway, the next day, the day of Father’s Day, I pick up Jeremy from his dad. The car I’m driving has no A/C and my boyfriend is in the car waiting for us (I got the boyfriend after the whole baby daddy sleeping with the other girl scenario, so no blurred lines there).
THIS IS WHEN SHOT GETS TRAUMATIC!
I go to the door and knock. Jeremy answers then walks back in front of his dad. He’s lecturing him about putting hot water in his water gun and shooting his dad with it. After about five minutes of this, I’m over it because he’s not handling the shit, just making him feel bad. Jeremy is not wired like that, he’s just like me.
Fast forward, I’m acting nonchalant because I don’t care to hear him talk any kind of way to a child, my child, when he hasn’t been around for four years and the kid is six. The boy has no respect for you, and if you can’t see that, you’re a fucking idiot. Anyway, he seems Jeremy to get his shoes on. Then he slaps me, pushes me around, this is nothing out of the usual for us, we play flight all the time, but this time felt a lot different, like their was malice behind every strike, and the whole time I’m telling him to stop but he doesn’t until he got ready to stop. All I wanted was to get my child and go but he’s blocking the way for Jeremy to get through and I call him to come out of the bedroom, thinking this would stop him from doing anything else, or taking it any further.
I was fucking wrong, and I regret calling Jeremy out of the room.
We got loud, and he said something, I don’t remember, and I said, “well, you don’t care anyway,” AND THE NEXT THING I FUCKING KNOW, his gotdamn fist was next to me face in the door.
His 👏 WHOLE 👏 FUCKING 👏 FIST.
NEXT TO MY WHOLE FUCKING FACE.
Then he starts taunting me “say I don’t care. Say I don’t care.” Now one thing you need to know about me is I may be 26, but I’m petty as fuck like a child, and I only do shit that I know will get under your skin and piss you the fuck off. It was fight or flight at this moment. Mind you, my child was still in the room watching all of this happen, and unfortunately, I had to take the high road. My boyfriend was in the car waiting for us to come out, and if shit would have popped off the way it did in my head, someone would have been in jail.
So as I’m standing there, everything went dark and I went cold, and my soul died that day. A part of me is dead and I’ll never get back. And I took the high road and I was just like, I’m leaving. As soon as the door closed behind me, I broke the fuck down. Crying, snot, loud sobs. I hadn’t cried like this is over a year. And that’s when I knew I was done. The situation affected me so bad I had an anxiety attack while leaving. My boyfriend asked what was wrong and I couldn’t tell him. Jeremy is sitting in the backseat and he told him, and I broke down even more.
This bitch scarred me for life. I’m a “mean” and hateful bitch because of him, but I’ve always tried being there for my kid. I fail every fucking day, to be a good mom and girlfriend, but I’m making the effort.
If anything, one thing that stuck a chord with me when he and I tried to patch things up in February was when we had the talk about the past and our actions and shit and I told him, “THE ONLY REASON YOU’RE NOT AROUND FOR JEREMY, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU NOT WANTING TO BE A FATHER TO HIM, YOU DON’T DUCK WITH HIM BECAUSE YOU’RE MAD AT ME. IF YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF AND BE THERE FOR YOUR LITTLE GIRL, THERE’S NO EXCUSE FORYOU NOT BEING THERE FOR JEREMY OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT YOU’RE MAD. YOUR BEEF IS WITH ME, NOT THE FACT YOU DON’T WANT A KID.”
He agreed with me, and has on more than one occasion. But I knew this, so there’s no point in me being mad. What pisses me off is the real of broken women he’s left after me. I didn’t deserve it, They didn’t deserve it, his other three (3) possible children other than Jeremy who we KNOW is his (since he snuck and did an at home DNA test behind my back in my mother’s home and left a cotton swab wrapper in his bassinet (NIGGAS ARE SLOPPY AF)) don’t deserve it either.
Fuck any nigga that’s ever done me wrong. You missed out on a great girl. In the end I get to fall asleep and wake up to and argue and make love to am amazing ass guy who never ceases to amaze the fuck out of me. I told him when we first got together that if he was to ever hurt me the way my ex’s did, I’d make him pay for everything they’ve done. I’m serious, and that’s the scary part. He holds my whole world in his hands right now, but I trust him not to fuck shit up… Crazy me.
Well, that’s all the tea I’m spilling for now. Stay turned for a little more later on. ✌
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92 TRUTHS - tagging just @ocean--blue--eyes because she the only person I can think of 🙈 @whydontijustleavethisrighthere just why lol.
THE LAST…
1) Drink: Water
2) Phone call: Who everyone was the last person to call the store I work at. Other than that I don't talk on the phone haha.
3) Text message: my sister
4) Song you listened to: Easer by my moochie (Ed)
5) Time you cried: last week.
HAVE YOU EVER…
6) Dated someone twice: Nope
7) Been cheated on: Nope
8) Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope.
9) Lost someone special: Yes. More times then I would have liked it to happen.
10) Been depressed: Oh boy oh boy yes. Add a lot of anxiety to that too and BAM there is my life.
11) Gotten drank and thrown up: Nope. I'm the only one of my siblings that never had. I'm kinda proud. Then again I don't drink that much.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS
12) PURPLE
13) Black
14) if it's bright I love it.
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
15) Made new friends: Yes! Thanks to this website.
16) Fallen out of love: No.
17) Laughed until you cried: Yes. It happens almost every weekend.
18) Found out someone was talking about you: Nope
19) Met someone who changed you: Kinda
20) Found out who your true friends are: honestly, I don't have many friends. But the ones I do have are true friends.
21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: like in a romantic way, no. In I love you you're my best friend, yes.
OTHER…
22) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: 99.9%
23) Do you have any pets?: sweet baby Jesus yes. 5 moo cows, 2 mini horses, 8 rabbits, 3 dogs (5 all together but 3 are only technically mine) and a chicken!
24) Do you want to change your name?: No I like it. It's not that common so I'm ok with it.
25) What did you do for your last birthday?: Went to a huge flower nursery.
26) What time do you wake up?: 6:30am
27) What were you doing at midnight last night?: Sleeping.
28) Name something you cannot wait for: the weekend!
29) When was the last time you saw your mother?: Since I live with her, today.
30) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: More money would be nice. Or not having to fix fence.
31) What are you listening to right now?: Big Brother playing in the background.
32) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: Nope.
33) Something that is getting on your nerves: That I have to buy fencing
.34) Most visited website?: Tumblr and Instagram.
35) Elementary: It was an old high school. Two stories. Creepy as hell. In a small town.
36) High School: In a small town, and a lot of drama.
37) University: Never went. Should've cause I would have my degree by now.
38) Hair color: Brunette
39) Long or short hair?: I love long hair but since I cut mine, I'm really loving short hair.
40) Do you have a crush on someone?: well duh
41) What do you like about yourself?: I have a good heart. Like I'm really caring.
42) Piercings?: My ears.
43) Blood type?: O positive. I should donate more often but it makes me sick.
44) Nickname?: Macy Lou. Maylen. Mace. Moo moo
45) Relationship status?: Single
46) Zodiac sign?: Aries
47) Pronouns: She/her
.48) Favorite TV show: Empire when it was playing.
49) Tattoos: none yet. By the end of this year. Maybe
50) Right or left hand?: Right FIRST…
51) Surgery: My tonsils
52) Piercing: When I was a wee baby.
53) Sport: soccer. But I quit. Then I rode horses.
54) Vacation: Holly Beach. Which isn't like a real beach. It's the dirty water of the Gulf of Mexico.
55) Pair of trainers: Who knows.
57) Eating: Whatever I can grab.
58) Drinking: water
59) I’m about to: Go take a shower
60) Listening to: The tv
61) Waiting for: 2pm Friday
62) Want: Run away.
63) Get married: One day.
64) Career: retail really sucks, photography doesn't pay the bills and since I didn't go to uni I can't be a vet (my dream job)
YOUR TYPE…
65) Hugs or kisses?: Both
66) Lips or eyes?: Eyes
.67) Shorter or taller?: Taller
68) Older or younger?: Either
.69) Nice arms or nice stomach?: Arms
70) Sensitive or loud?: Sensitive.
71) Hook up or relationship?: Relationship. Tho their is a few people I might hook up with haha.
72) Troublemaker or hesitant?: Sometimes both.
HAVE YOU EVER…
74) Kissed a stranger?: No
75) Drank hard liquor?: Yes.
76) Lost glasses, contact/lenses?: Yes. All the time.
77) Turned someone down?: Yes.
78) Sex on first date?: People I don't go on dates. I can't even get someone to like me enough to take me on one. So how we gonna sex?
79) Broken someone’s heart?: Don't think so
80) Had your heart broken?: yes
.81) Been arrested?: Not yet. I'm sure it's coming.
82) Cried when someone died?: Well duh
.83) Fallen for a friend?: Yes.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
84) Yourself?: Sometimes.
85) Miracles?: Yes.
86) Love at first sight?: Yes.
87) Santa Claus?: Well a course! Hehe
88) Kiss on the first date?: Again with the no-dates thing. <---this is @whydontijustleavethisrighthere answer but it works so I'm keeping it.
89) Angels?: yes.
EVEN MORE
90) Current best friend’s name: Jennifer, Allie, Bliss, Cassie
91) Eye color: Dark brown.
92) Favorite movie: I have a lot. Flicka is close to my heart so let's do that one. Any horse movie really haha. Disney too.
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