#AND NOW I'M LIVING ANOTHER LIFE
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wtf dym kim gyuwook paid for ateez's LA training out of his own pocket ????? WTF DYM HE'S SO FATHER !?!?!?!?!?
#MY PARENTS WON'T EVEN GET ME A PROPER MASTER'S DEGREE#AND NOW I'M LIVING ANOTHER LIFE#ofc that's after they shell out 3k usd for my sister no questions asked#i wouldn't even call it a master's degree#it was barely a semester#not even a course#not even an experience#yes#it comes back to this#bc#my sister is a raving lunatic golden child who's so entitled and acts all holier than thou and will forever act like so#because she's backed up by our parents#or at least my mom#🖕🖕🖕#smt tmi
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Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.
#positivity#yet another post that's like... thinnly-veiled as being for myself#i find myself freezing with anxiety when i think about the things i used to do (writing especially) because...#...i had felt this force to make it ~content~ and ~marketable to an audience~ and it was so fucking daunting...#...it felt like being a gladiator in a coliseum#even now i fight the urge to equate being marketable to being acceptable and worthy of admiration and praise#i wish i hadn't burnt myself out of writing by doing this because i'm simultaneously grieving my writing and hating it#and it sucks the life out of what makes you feel like a person and it takes the art out of art#so be free! pist your art or don't! you are beholden to nobody!!!#(obviously this is not the case for professional artists who rely on their art to keep them alive)#(and i criticize heavily the idea that audiences are entitled to an artists labour)#(i understand that this isn't universal and if it doesn't apply to you then you don't have to take me seriously)#(if you are a professional artist or what have you i hope you are able to feed and house yourself off of that career!)#(i hope you are able to live a happy life and be able to keep loving what you're doing)
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Starlo should be Clover's dad
Why? Because ↓
1) Both dress into cowboy-themed attire to feel braver/more important than they are
2) Clover, instead of a regular kid, wants to feel like a hero; Star, instead of a regular farmer, also wants to feel like a hero
In reality, Star is not the tough guy he pretends to be. His optimism, protectiveness and caring nature make him a hero though.
In reality, Clover started off as a scared kid who became more confident and skilled thanks to Flowey's resets. Their heroism comes from their forgiving and selfless nature and the hidden courage they got the chance to explore.
2) Both acted childish during a dangerous situation Clover came down the mountain with a toy gun so that it would bring them comfort/they'd feel more in control of the situation (if you remember, Frisk refused to play with Asriel's toys in UT, saying how they're "too old," and I assume Frisk and Clover are the same age).
Starlo brought a fake gun before confronting Clover in genocide, just to feel cool.
3) Both not only value justice, but base it on compassion
Clover's entire mission was to bring justice (avenge the kids), but along the way changed that mindset (in pacifist). Star says how him and his posse aren't bandits, tests Clover's sense of justice and morality with the trolley problem, and wants to give Ceroba a second chance despite her actions.
4) Starlo's got protective fatherly instincts
5) fatherly pride
8) a lot of monsters associate Clover with the Dunes/Wild East
9) oh and... Starlo referred to the Wild East as Clover's.... home. Twice.
he could have easily said 'Wild East'
... get the adoption papers.
#uty#undertale yellow#starlo uty#uty starlo#uty clover#clover uty#no i don't see him as their big brother#or cool uncle#just their dad#i'm crying#i can just hope clover got revived after the barrier was broken#and they got to live a happy life with their pa#dadlo#just look at them#JUST LOOK#I mean I can't imagine anyone else taking on this role for Clover#Dalv is responsible but I think he enjoys his solitary life too much#Martlet means we'll but she's still young and scatterbrained#As for ceroba? I don't think she's mentally ready to raise another child after...#well... everything#Plus crestina wants for star to settle down#Well guess what now you have a grandchild#I forgot about the time orion said to Clover about clover: “must be one of those wild east folk”#And the time star told his kid: “make yourself at home”
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last night i was watching a gravity falls clip and heard the name "Pacifica Northwest" spoken out loud for the first time in roughly eight years and i had to put my phone down and stare at a wall while my brain detached from its stem like an untethered balloon. i relocated to the pacific northwest two years ago. specifically to oregon. what the fuck do you mean that's her name
#gravity falls#pacifica northwest#eight years ago i watched this show. eight. her name is so glaringly stupid and i had no idea for eight whole entire years.#cannot believe it took an entire geographical upheaval of my life AND THEN SOME for this joke to land#I recently became aware of another oregon-specific joke that I never would've got prior to living here (rock that looks like a face rock)#i have to wonder what else flew over my head. i'm long overdue for a GF rewatch but especially now that i'm in the famous state itself#nov 2024#gf
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Soulmate aus are so interesting in an iwtv context. Like for humans it's easy, right? They get their soulmate mark, they find their soulmate, or maybe they don't, and they live their life. For vampires though? Do vampiric soulmates even exist? How could they when the soulmate marks are relics of their human life? When the other person who has the mark will be dead before their life as a vampire has even begun? Or were they always fated to become a vampire? Did the universe take that into account? Will they have to wait some hundreds of years for their soulmate to be born? Their soulmate could be anywhere, any time. Hell, their soulmate could be the person they just drained. Who knows. Even if they were somehow able to find them, what are the chances they'd stay together for eternity? It is eternity after all. Not even the universe or fate can guarantee that.
#but then like uggghhhh thinking about iwtv soulmate au fics and like. they're not soulmates or meant to be but they choose each other anyway#their soulmate could be rotting in the ground or not even in existence yet. maybe they knew them in their human life. or vampire life#but nothing is a guarantee. and isn't it much more profound to choose your own companion anyhow? to love and choose them?#(little do they realize that's what a soulmate is. and even though they might not have the mark it's the same thing. to love and choose)#thinking about louis and armand specifically. like both of them would have Feelings about this i'm sure#louis and lestat are soulmates ofc. ofc there's some string of fate strangling them and they have to figure out what that means#i feel like louis would be resentful of it. like he loves lestat obviously but their relationship is turbulent at best so during the lows#louis 100% resents the universe and god and fate for tying the two of them together#lestat would assume it's all sunshine and roses now that he's found his soulmate and kind of assume it'll automatically work out?#and they'd have to come to terms with the fact that while they are soulmates#their relationship and what it is and how it goes isn't preordained. they still have to figure it out themselves#meanwhile armand and daniel aren't soulmates#god armand doesn't know who his is and he is very like. not melancholy#but he definitely holds that in his chest along with the other things that were taken from him#daniel for sure met his soulmate but like it was nothing compared to armand#and daniel doesn't really buy into the whole romanticization of soulmates anyway#armand kind of does and once they start their relationship he'd definitely have angst about preventing daniel from finding his soulmate#in this universe that could be another reason he tampered with daniel's memories (assuming that's what happened in the amc canon)#to give daniel a chance to live a full human life. to give him the chance to find his soulmate#but then daniel lives a life. he meets his soulmate. and at the end of it all he still chooses armand#and claudia? she just wants someone to choose her. she doesn't care if it's her soulmate or not. she doesn't care about that#maybe she used to romanticize it. having someone guaranteed. but she's seen soulmates hurt each other. both in her human and vampire life#and she knows it doesn't matter what fate or the universe says. people's choices and actions are their own#and so when madeleine chooses her they don't have the marks but claudia thinks maybe this is what a soulmate is after all#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand#claudia#daniel molloy#lestat de lioncourt
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................ he
#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so...#......he#cats#EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he#I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video#s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted#for now though yeah.. just cats#The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a#sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist#who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb#and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left#undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth#So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects#so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on#this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on#them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain#organizes tasks sometimes lol#***#(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word#it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj)#ANYWAY... eeeee#Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing#Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!
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little shop images....
#will roland#lsoh#seymour krelborn#in true jumping off summer stock documentation form....#meanwhile clutching the edges of a sink#clutching the edges of another one like & i'm not even that effective at finding / pouncing on Posts#like oh lord what do you mean guthrie theater uses ig stories....idek where on ig they posted the top image#i got it from checking on their fb just now. while the lower image is from their ig but Not their facebook.#making life more difficult. vs there's the ease of ''plot of lsoh generally Known here vs not knowing how they'd remix summer stock''#that yellow purple plaid going on w/that particular buttonup is always: more like going off#and the rare dishevelment look. still some surprises like: i'm not That familiar w/lsoh. never seen a live production for instance#saw the movie once and it's been a minute. & rick moranis is there (at bmc bway closing completely coincidentally. can you believe)#leaning in over the Computer One going wait. enhance the image (re: the photos & writing in the background)#but that top image truly is already high res enough you can see will's watch reads 2:59
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I'M HERE AGAIN HELLOO HIIIIII :D
question about vandermorgan cuz I'm curious....
do you have any headcanons and how do you see their relationship?
They say a picture is worth a thousand words
#DVL and AMs relationship being a toxic feedback loop built on DVLs dependence on AM and AM seeing DVLs validation as something he needs#it's completely ripe for abuse. AM feels devalued by DVL but consistently puts him and his wants above all else and DVL takes and takes#because he needs his followers and sycophants and dreamers and sons and daughters and lovers and soldiers to make him more than what he is.#He thrived on AMs blind loyalty because it allowed him to indulge his own vain ideal of a rebellious leader championing his idea of freedom#and america and a mans own right to live his life however he pleased when he had someone else willing to die behind it.#I know it's touchy for some but the father/son aspect of their relationship regardless of it serving as another form of control reward and#punishment can't be ignored or minimised. DVL was a patriarchal figure not just to AM but the gang which impacted how they both tried to#define their relationship. It's boring to brush it away to sanitise their dynamic when taken to a romantic/sexual context. GET FREUDIAN NOW#They're like kitten daddy is going to kill himself if he doesnt get his tahiti money 🥺🥺🥺 If you loved me you'd get me a mango farm🥺🥺#Well that's the gist of it... and regarding your other ask: Nah I'm a native English speaker. I don't post art terribly often but thanks! I#want to redraw that old drawing at some point. Idk about good vibes but I'm pretty horizontal if were talking abusive cowboys.#asks#vandermorgan
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yay a week until my 29th bday ✨🔥😎🔥✨
#about myself#heldig life stories#birthday#it's hard to believe that a year ago in that same period of time i wrote my last will haha#the only reason i didn't make an attempt on myself was my hyper responsibility 'cause i wanted a notary to approve my last will#so my beloved ones would have no problems with my property and my corpse after i die#but i had no time to do so and then my husband led me to psychiatrist and she confirmed i'm having a suicidal depression all my life#after i described my habitual living she was shocked that i managed to go so long without any medication just on my inner will itself#just because i constantly pushed myself forward from 'you need to go everyone counts on you'#but then it was awfully worsened by my long term burnout due to constant work crunches to the point when my inner will became not enough#and i stopped functioning like a normal person completely: not eating not getting up from the bed not wanting anything except disappearing#now i'm on antidepressants and it feels like i'm awake from a living time nightmare#it would have been so much easier if someone gave me antidepressants back then when i was 14 and tried to take my own life for the 1st time#fortunately unsuccessfully#so it will be another happy birthday to me that i wasn't supposed to live haha#don't be like me pls don't ignore yourselves and your condition and instead take care of yourselves dudes <3#go to the doctor if you need to it's neither scary nor shameful - it can literally save your life#hug you all tightly
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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Snoopy #33
3/11/2024
#peanuts#snoopy#art#33#music#PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS SONG THE CHORUS IS SOOO GOOD!!!!#the visual composition of this piece is kinda ass ngl. like it's just random stuff all over the place but oh well!#wired headphones because i'm a HATER of the wireless headphones revolution that has been going on for the last like 6-8 years or so#anyway i'm obsessed with this song#and it's maybeeee lowkey relevant to my life rn 👀#guy offering me a ride home despite me living out of his way = one of many dominoes in a chain of events that will probably lead to a crush#eventually... if not right now#idk i'm insane and a loser so i could slow burn for years but i am trying not to waste other people's time with my shenanigans anymore#so into another outlet these feelings must go!#how did CRJ manage to capture so perfectly how i felt in the car in 4 simple little lines... megabrained genius behaviour i have to say!#also that car ride home was a few months ago and i didn't discover this song until afterwards (despite this album being 9 years old lol)#so how i felt in the car was Not at all influenced by any pre-existing knowledge of this song#or any desire to shape the events of my life to fit the emotions of the song for the Plot or the Aesthetic or the Narrative or whatever#it just came into my life like a perfectly tailored jacket from a thrift store
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Oh. Oh. Canute didn't learn this from Askeladd, he was tough this by his father figure, that to sacrifice for what you love means to incite death. That death and control are a means to an end. It wasn't Askeladd that broke and shaped him and in who's footsteps he follows, it was Ragnar's.
"Laugh at me, if you must. Curse me, if you must. It is necessary to bring about my paradise. . .All for the sake of the love we lost." Vinland Saga, chapter 78
In some twisted way this is all for Ragnar—to sacrifice everything for what you love, which Canute claims is all of mankind—and how there are no lines he wouldn't cross for them. Because he's accepted that death is necessary for love to exist.
#*ding ding* messed up paternal relationships for the win#he's literally become his biological father in trying to emulate his surrogate one#because for Canute's father's there isn't anything they wouldn't sacrifice to save what they love#and for Thorfinn's there isn't anything they wouldn't put themselves at risk for when it comes to protecting what they love#I'm not saying that Askeladd lived his life trying to sacrifice it for just anyone for most of the time we knew him#but by the end when he realizes he's starting to get older and if he's going to achieve something he'd better start now I think his#perspective DOES change. he's lost the only sort of friend he maybe ever had. he's lost the one man he's ever admired. The world is ending#ever since returning his mother's body he's let go of everything he could genuinely care for because he hates who he is#and what he comes from so much#but now he rises to Thors's ideals his mother's dreams and the promise he can see in Canute and Thorfinn#is this just another flavor of plant brother's conflict? maybe :3#Vinland Saga#vs#Fizzy talks#Canute#Askeladd#Thorfinn#Thors#Ragnar
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Every Universe
"I love you." She uttered, barely above a whisper. "I love you in every universe." "Do we end up together in every universe?" He asked. "No," She replied, and the painful memories of those life times flashed behind her beautiful eyes as she reflected to the 'back then's. Yet, she smiled, "But I love you anyway, how could I not? My soul yearns for you, even before it had come to know you. It remembers, I remember." "Does it hurt?" She was silent for a moment, "A lifetime without you hurts more then a lifetime when we are not together." "I love you." He blurts out unthinkingly, desperate. He reaches out for her hand, taking it and holds it in both hands in a grounding grip. She looked down at their hands and smiled, relishing in the bitter sweetness. "I know." She confesses quietly. She held his hand tightly, trying to ignore the buzzing within her body- threatening to tear her apart atom by atom. "But you aren't mine. Not this time."
#rottmnt x reader#could be any turtle here#all up to you all :)#it's nearly 4 am but i had to write something down#the angst be angsting#may i make a proper thing out of this?#i have no clue- but i love the idea#like mc is able to travel between universes or something- or sees the future#basically some doctor strange shit#they have lived through countless timelines/lifetimes with the turtles#some good some bad- but one thing is for certain is their bond#context to this would most likely be soulmates#but not a love at first sight soulmate deal- like they are aware of the pull but the relationship still progresses naturally#but mc knows how it ends- in some way or another she loses the love of her life and now she has to do it all over again#she remembers everything but they don't- she has to live through the pain of loss while they are right in front of her-#just they are not what she had before#MMMMM I love this kind of trope#an endless cycle of loss and pain- yet beauty and love#i'm very sleep deprived#hopefully i can start getting actual requests done soon kjfds
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lets think of everyone who had persona blogs and obliterated them off the face of the earth instead of just archiving and keep them in our thoughts tonight. everyone else who directly caused them into doing that go and fucking behave
#kommento#// talking about people I admire or just knew and realized the majority of the persona ones completely blew up what related them to prsona#// some started from scratch or picking up off of anything salvageable and are now living a better online life only to be haunted by#// those who knew them before and would rather not be reminded and just lightly brush away those asking because they genuinely don't know#// the games aren't all that bad and their flaws are of different circumstances that can only be explained differently from one another#// but that one scrap of the community can just tear away at your soul taking something you love and made with love to become fuel for fire#// it's clear when you've been scarred and everyone handles those scars differently. if they show them valiantly or still hide them#// in any other case. stepping out of your bubble you made around you reminds you just how horrid everything you blocked out really is#// it's worse when it seeps into the cracks you couldn't patch and it comes back to make you rot until you deal with it#// I know how others would just get up and abandon their blogs or accounts and let them be archived#// but with this community I fear they do their best to wipe that entire footprint off of the face of the web as much as they can#// and these people were the smartest and sweetest ever and handled the characters they love with care and consideration and love#// to be caught in the middle of a war they didn't want to fight for their characters or opinions that the best option was just leave#// my complete and utter fear to never get to viral heights and if I did I'd try to keep my anonymity as much as possible because#// the tales have been told scare me so much I don't want to experience it#// its been too long I really shouldn't be a hater about this at this point but something got me to pinch my nose bridge really hard#// well whatever. I'm glad I've made this space for me and for all of you. whatever you see this place as. a gas station or what#// everyone of you here warms my heart even if you come and go. I'm just glad I know I touched people's hearts and circulated#// my love for something so silly around other people
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In a different timeline, where Faehrnem never comes to be as the Bold Tree follows in his older sister's footsteps by setting aside his own wants and dreams to instead begrudgingly take on his role as an avatar.
#my art#gw2#commander faehrnem#pale tree#SURPRISE i'm finally talking about my characters lol#faehrnem would have been avatar for the second blighting tree (malyck's) but was brought over to the pale tree's side of the dream#while his mind was still forming so she could ensure he would defect as well and not embrace his true purpose as mordys champ#pale tree was to be mordys voice. lol#but uhh other stuff happened and the bold tree didn't want the same life as his sister and in a disagreement the siblings had#the bold tree is nearly wiped from the dream itself when pale tree accidentally uses magic that horrifically dmged him#so! in her grief the pale tree removes the avatar magic from her brother's. mind? soul? both maybe? idk the dream is weird#and later on after years of recovering and with no memory of what happened#faehrnem reawakens in the dream as a (to everyone's knowledge) regular sylvari so hecan live out his dreams of roaming the world#along side his friends and family (and then some) and just living a fulfilling life full of adventure and excitement#and brother. does faehrnem get it LOL this is what you signed up for buddy. now go kill those pesky dragons#anyways if you read all of these tags congrats! here's a gold star#this was a very shortened version of his backstory and there's. a lot of details i'm leaving out but maybe for another time#for now i hope you can enjoy these disaster siblings. lmao
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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