#AND IT IS V UNPLEASANT!!!

[ever-animatezzz]

Combine interests WOOOOO

[sorryiliketoscreenshot]

[veryaren]

netease is fast but im faster

[pinkyjulien]

Cyberpunk 2077 - V Story short presentation by Luke Poller

[starcurtain]

I was in the middle of working on a new post, but the last few days have really given me a :T feeling about the Star Rail fandom at the moment.

I love the game but having people trying to drag me into ship wars or character discourse is so uncomfortable.

Energy gone... I guess I'll just sleep...

[beatcroc]

Can you elaborate further on ena selfcest hatesex please

teehee.

honestly the plan was to just drop it once i got to it and provide 0 explanation but i should know by now im bad at being sneaky and keeping my mouth shut so this post is now about how we got here and what im trying to accomplish.

so first off i feel it is necessary context to say i have developed something of a conceptual fascination with ena nsfw. not an actual interest; i have no desire to actually see or search any out, but...the idea of it. like. i know there is A Metric Shitton of it out there, so what's going on with all that? what are the appeals? how are people taking this, by all measures rather mystifying sort of being, and making it something they can fuck? are people trying to downplay it, or are they having fun exploring the bizzare nature of ena both as a character and series in this context? these are not questions i especially care about the answers to, but they are fun to ponder and discuss as theoreticals. i have been doing a lot of this also in addition to the regular game analysis, so i suppose i was bound to get the wires crossed eventually.

that being said @ real analysis it's honestly kind of hard to explain if you have not played dream bbq, and really even if you haven't been in on ena since earlier on? but most of it is just that coming out of the webseries, the dynamic for how the salesperson/meanie sides on dbbq ena work feels very drastically different than how the happy/sad sides did on og ena. the split for og ena was pretty straightforward in that they were just two emotions she just tended to wildly oscillate between on the regular, but game ena..... she simultaneously is much more put together and yet feels far more in contention with herself and how she presents. despite being the more mellow side of her presentation, salesperson is an extremely dominant personality; whereas happy/sad feel very balanced in their oscillations, meanie ena feels like she only ever comes out to get some words in edgewise in decisive moments when it Means Something.

it's probably not a stretch to say ena sides are meant to be 'opposites' in some way [as opposed to just any pair of personalities]. happy/sad again are straightforward and manifest more just as conflicting reactions/perspectives, but despite her capriciousness, og ena still always feels Genuine in her displays. salesperson/meanie are unified both in goal and in the path to it, but the opposites aspect comes up in her approach. the best way i can define them is in terms of "how altruistic is she willing to pretend to be today?", to which the ends are "all bullshit" and "no bullshit". salesperson just feels disingenuous when put against anything meanie says, and ena is in fact most consistently called "dishonest" or "a cheater" when being insulted by other characters. all of this to say: when meanie is out it is very clearly her Actual Real Feelings on a situation, but again, it is so rare for meanie to be out under normal circumstances. there is literally only one character she does not approach as salesperson, and i Have to infer it's because he's the only one who is immediately aggressive towards her. og ena is certainly more unstable, but despite one of those primary emotions being labelled as "sad", game ena still feels far more unhappy.

there also appears to be some weirdness between them when it comes to addressing her past and how much she does or does not regret doing whatever the hell she did but i think im staring to get off-topic. you get the point im making by now. there is tangible friction between salsperson and meanie. is she deliberately suppressing meanie? is salesperson deliberately suppressing meanie? it is all very strange and alarming and it almost makes me want to question how the sides of an ena even work.

but anyway to bring it all around: no there is not actually any "real" "logical" "narrative" place for horny business with ena stuff, i'm just fucking around. but approaching it from the angle of "what would be the most character-intensive way to do nsfw here?", i think it would be simply be making her confront herself; exploring the dynamic and the tension between her sides and how she uses them. i went on a lot about unspoken contention between her sides, but there's also a bit of it that is, for spoilers' sake, let's just say Very Bluntly Spelled Out. ergo: hatesex. and then also of course whole fuckin point of the design and character of ena is its two guys who are one guy... or two halves of a whole, more accurately. the halves are also pretty substantial on their own, so this makes it very natural to just make them two separate guys while still technically being the same guy. ergo: selfcest.

also i get to make this stupid joke

so there u go

[grecoromanyaoi]

i am not even 1% as mean as i deserve to b btw. i am practically a saint.

[chronicallychthonic]

came back from work and so tired and my bed (I mean, the bed I've been sleeping in) is all twisted into a kind of nest and full of crumbs and trash Again!!

[cvntoid]

grave conversations thoughs in tags

[kazz-brekker]

been meaning to give the white lotus a try for awhile so i watched the first episode of the new season and like. hmm. i can enjoy a good upstairs-downstairs story but i feel like i don't find it as interesting if the focus is on the rich people rather than the employees. i just don't necessarily care that much about stories that are like "oooh what obnoxious or bad thing are these rich assholes going to do next" so idk if i'll keep up with it.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

This may be an unpopular opinion but I GENUINELY really miss the vibe of Umbrella Academy season 1. It was so fucking emo and that just felt Right.

[theprinceandthewitch]

NA/EU IDV fans: "Alice and Orpheus are THE siblings 😊😊"

Me who actually read the lore and knows the main plot stems from Orpheus wanting to kiss Alice so bad it turned him into a villain:

[vidoxi]

I've been a really jealous person for a really long time but being on the other side and experiencing jealousy towards me makes me never want to be like that again... it's so uncomfortable and really good connections can get totally ruined over it, which is unfortunate because I think that kind of jealousy that festers and eats you up inside is mostly projection. Like I can understand that to my ex-friend who cant find a good partner, knowing I have a good relationship would make her envious, but going so far to resent me and treat me like garbage for the one good thing thats ever happened to me when I loved her and just wanted to keep being her friend is insane and cruel. Jealousy stops you from seeing the full picture and stops you from seeing other people as your equals. It's such an ugly trait when you can't be happy for other people and it will definitely drive people out of your life. It does nothing but hurt you.

In hindsight a lot of the instances in my life where people have been cruel to me for what ive been thinking of bitterly as "for no reason" has a reason and it's jealousy. Like I can see now that they were imagining a false idea of me and making their own narrative and then they have to punish me for this idea they dreamt up lol. I have real trauma because of this and no relationship with my siblings because of this.

[vampstel]

Doing quests and leveling up in royale High is so therapeutic until I get the Rainy Day Champion quest…

And then suddenly a nice way to waste spend my time turns into a stressful shouting fest that leaves my throat hurting. God, I love raging at RNG based minigames 🥰

[fishermcn]

@zcrayas // x

Rather than being reassured or comforted by the notion that this is a passing spell of ill-feeling, Crow seems all the world to be even more concerned. Even from behind the tattered cowl so often covering his expression and beneath the likewise unkempt hat atop his head, there's little hiding the furrow of his thin brows or the quick cutting of his gaze across Rya's person. Whatever he's searching for Crow doesn't seem to find, given the undertone of frustration to his rasped words. "Pardon? Tryna tell m'this ain't no new thing? That ya been having spells o'this sort ya whole life?"

Without waiting for another word, the depraved perfumer turns back towards the bubbling pot of something only-half realized, and none too gently works towards snuffing out the flame. All the while a slew of muttered oaths unfit for ears of any age storm out from his coarse throat, only coming to a halt when he's at last dealt with the brew and marched his way back towards Rya.

"Ain't forgiving no damn thing. Not till we sort out what's going on with ya." This close, the bitter smell of smoke and the likewise acrid scent of miranda powder is strong on Crow's person. So too is clear that worry within his words, no matter how masked he would prefer it remain beneath his otherwise blunt demeanor. Carefully, almost anxiously, a stained hand touches at her elbow. "Should sit. Could tell me what all ya feel. Might can fix something for ya."

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

my fibro meds have truly destroyed my tolerance for antihistamines