#AND IM STILL NOT OVER THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT LIKE THAT MAN IS IN DEEP | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

valeriianz · 5 months ago

Note

For the fic writer asks:

4. Obviously you did research for BitB. I'd love you to ramble about it if you like I'm sure you've got STORIES

5. Did you outline it?

7. How'd you decide it would be Hob's pov?

25-27 I'd love to know a/some favorite lines, details, and any lore you might want to share

omg TJ what wonderful questions! thank you!! this is going to get LONG!

4: Rambling about research!

do you wanna see a screen shot of my bookmarks under my "band au" folder?

man, and that's only what could fit on the screen.

there is... SO MUCH i chose to ignore for this fic. ideas that i had to drop, lines or extra details about the other band members equipment. more logistics, what Lucienne actually does, what Mervyn has to put up with as the new touring stage manager... i realized very early on that i couldn't possibly cram all this (super cool and eye opening) information into the fic and still keep reader's interest and, most importantly, to not stray away from the fact that this is a dreamling fic. whenever i felt myself getting carried away with a side character or job or even social media numbers, gossip, outside POVs, i had to reign myself in and get back on track. there will be time for exploring everything i missed in side stories after BitB is finished. i just hope i still have the energy to write it all.

once, i was so deep into research that after publishing chapter 2, i went into work and when my chef asked what "GA" meant on my prep list, i answered with full confidence, "general admission."

(it means "get ahead.")

the worst part of this entire writing process is im still learning new shit. i havent rewatched or read a lot of what i've saved because, to be very honest, i was feeling a little burnt out. it's why we're kinda full steam dreamling now. it's why ive been glossing over a lot of technical stuff and being vague about conversations amongst the crew/not including it at all. i don't prefer ignoring my research, but at the end of the day i want to still enjoy writing this fic and finish it. even if i can't be as descriptive and detailed and nuanced as i used to be.

5: Did you outline the fic?

(also asked by @hardly-an-escape!)

i wouldn't call what i have a proper "outline," it's more like a 20k word document filled to the brim with notes that i skim at least a dozen times while i'm writing a new chapter (being in my brain is literally hell). i live multichapter life very dangerously. i copy and paste lines or sections (always scattered, never together! augh!) that are meant to go together and plop them in a new document titled "band au ch.#" and then i structure the chapter around what i want to happen.

but to answer this question in the plainest of terms: yeah. i know exactly what's going to happen up until the very end. even if its all in my head and the only concrete shit that's written down are beats/plot points. i'll figure out the rest later!

7: How'd you decide it would be Hob's POV?

i actually never even considered writing it from Dream's POV. this was my first fic in the fandom (which is so nuts to think about lol) and writing in Dream's POV sounded so scary lol. i also just thought Hob's would be easier because i have worked a few backstage shows, back in my college years. i figured eh, i can make this work. and i loved exploring how weird and mysterious musicians can be, from a normie's POV. making Hob a fan first and having him worry about developing a parasocial relationship... it was fun to explore.

25: Share your favorite line

oh god, i have so many haha.

“What are you thinking about?” starting in ch.2 and onward lmao

“It’s–” Dream laughs quietly, bitterly. “I don’t like change.” He says each word with emphasis, eyes trailing down to fixate somewhere past Hob. “And I still hold onto the things I can control, like my instruments–” his eyes swing up to regard Hob apologetically. “Or my clothes or my–” he brings a hand up and wiggles his fingers around his head. “My hair.” ch.4

"His majesty is pleased." ch.5

“You are obsessive,” he states, slow and cool and with a quiet smile cracking through his composure. “Just like me.” ch.7

“You look good.” Hob has to lean in to say so, unwilling to raise his voice amongst the roar of the fans. ch.11

“Del looks like porcelain, but she’s actually made of steel.” Desire swirls the contents of their glass before pushing their shoulders back with a deep breath. “She's tougher than all of us.” ch.11

“Everything. I want…” his fingers tighten in Hob’s hair, pulling him closer, speaking against his lips. “…Everything.” ch.14

26: Share your favorite detail

how intentionally coy Dream behaves. i love keeping him a mystery and deciding when and how much to allow his intentions to peek through has been so fun lol.

Despair is in fact covered in tattoos and piercings! i say this because i feel like sometimes i forget lmao. (but also her and Hob don't interact much so. my bad haha).

Delirium's constant explosion of color in the way she dresses <3

Hob's dedication to his job, Dream, and the people he cares about the most. i don't care if people think i'm making him too soft and good, im gonna project on that man and make him a sweet, sweet simp lmao

and ah, this doesn't matter anymore, and i kinda regret doing it but. i originally had Dream's favorite bass all black but the pickguard was white. so it actually looked like Jessamy. not gonna lie when @designtheendless drew it all black i decided i liked it better that way. and truly i do. that's when i went back to ch.1 and changed it haha. to actually see the guitar with Dream, all done up sparkling black and purple flecks... gosh it's just so him. but then i got up to the reveal that the guitar's name was Jessamy and i was like, "oh, right." lmao. no one seems to care so i'll leave it be.

27: Share a piece of lore you made up for the story

i have a lot lmao. and this post is already so long... im hoping i can get to some if not all of it in side fics in the future. but for now, here's some that's more like headcanons but:

Dream hates flying. he can full on go into panic attacks on the plane if he allows himself to get into his own head.

this was mentioned briefly in ch.4, while Dream was discussing the formation of the band, but Despair was in another band before joining Endless. she is the only character in the fic who gets to keep her English roots (lol sorry) and is the oldest in the band (30).

all of the band members ages: Dream, Desire, and Death are all 28 and Delirium is 22.

Dream can experience subdrop after going too hard during a performance.

Dream paints his own nails, it's very therapeutic.

as an exercise, i explored my own headcanons for Dream in this verse in a word doc, and one thing i will share from it that you might find interesting: If I were to ever give Dream a theological values, I would describe him as a satanist. He is a physical and pragmatic person, nonconforming, and although he is introverted, he enjoys being a part of a community (he loves his band).

also found this in my notes: How Desire and Dream got along was Death making them fight it out. Hob raises an eyebrow “like in a brawl?” He couldn't imagine Desire throwing hands. “No, in a pillow fight that escalated in hair pulling and verbal taunts.”

fic writer asks

#yooooo #this took me a long time to answer lol #i gotta go to bed but #THANK YOU SO MUCH TJ!!#dreamling #(why not. there's a lot here let put it out into the main tag!)#fic: bolt in the blue #im so satisfied ahhh thanks again #:)

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catboygirljoker · 2 months ago

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fun writing tip: you can justify making your blorbos as good at sex as you want if you also make it depressing

i will try not to be too graphic or horny and keep it mostly to character study analysis themes core motivations plot conflicts etc type discussion. still, id really prefer that folks under 18 do not interact with me on this post or about this topic in general, thanks!

for obvious reasons this post is gonna have a cut

UNLIKE HIS DIIIIICK [EXTREMELY LOUD AIRHORNS]

. sorry i just feel like hed appreciate that joke. uh anyway

Brief discussions of: BDSM, including sadomasochism; edgeplay; derealization/dysphoria; self-destructive recklessness in a sexual context.

ok. so there's this fictional guy. and i kiiiiiiind of have a crush on him. and i'm a basic bitch, so, like, obviously, when i think about him hornystyle, i want to imagine him being good at sex.

the thing is, "good at sex" is not always a particularly interesting trait to give a character! it can often be an eyerolling power fantasy trait. like "this is my oc Chuck Dongburger he has a ten pound cock and can make a babe cum just by lookin at her" yknow. it's a trait that, handled incorrectly, is more likely to flatten conflict than create it—more likely to make stories more boring than to make them more interesting.

also, "being good at sex" isnt a magical blessing that descends upon someone by chance. it is a quality that stems from a set of experiences and traits. it is a skill that one develops, or fails to develop.

so the question is, how do i justify him being good at sex? how do i make it feel believable and interesting?

the answer is simple! make it depressing! (that is, relate it directly to the character's central themes and conflicts, and therefore make it a natural part of/inclusion in their story)

in canon, xigbar has had multiple bodies, lost his heart multiple times, allowed himself to be a vessel for darkness on multiple occasions. he has endured all of this to carry out the will of his masters. every social role we've ever seen him take has been subservient to someone else, even if it has usually also involved social power over others, too.

here are the sex/relationship headcanons i have that expand on this:

related to: gender/sexuality

bisexual. for starters. obviously. his transness i have Deep Headcanons about, but his bisexuality is just "idk im bi so hes bi hee hee"

luxu is a binary trans man who experienced severe dysphoria in his original body and never felt like that body really belonged to him in the first place. to the best of his ability he has only chosen cis male vessels, including braig. in those cases he feels extreme disconnect from his body but not [very noticeable] gender dysphoria. the only thing connecting him to his cis male bodies is his sexual characteristics. theres this great art piece that has never left my brain that conveys the idea im going for. his face his hair his bones none of those are his, none of thise feel real, none of those feel right. but what does feel right is his dick.

related to: him being Good at Sex™

he is Very Experienced. he's tried a lot of shit and had a lot of bodies and largely had nothing better to do than be a horndog and kill time suckin and fuckin. he is down for just about anything with just about anybody. he knows how bodies work and knows how to deal with the exceptions and roll with awkwardness and uncomfortableness.

he is pretty good at reading people—it's a skill he has had to develop over his lifetime. he is sometimes wrong, but usually right, and reading people, understanding them, lets him feel like he has some kind of control or power over them. this is relevant because this is part of what makes him Good at Sex. he is shockingly responsive and attentive; not completely unselfish as a lover, but he won't blindly exert his will onto the other person and expect them to respond just because he has a big dick or is going faster or harder or whatever.

related to: his backstory as luxu

sex for him is a means of exerting control over the world, proving his own competence and worth to himself and another person, gaining some simulacrum of human connection, distracting himself from his derealization, grounding himself in his body, expressing and claiming his masculinity. all things, i headcanon, he also achieves (or seeks/has sought to achieve) from keyblade mastery.

he views his bodies as disposable, and knowing that he can just jump ship if he totals a body means that he processes pain differently than most people. not in a "all pain makes him horny" way*—it's more that pain doesn't make his self-preservation kick in the same way it does for other people. in bdsm/kink settings he is a masochist [as well as a sadist] and more reckless with edgeplay (when it comes to himself) than he really ought to be.

obviously i have specific personal motivation for wanting to headcanon this (he and his body are both Significantly Older Than Me) but i don't think he's too bothered by an age gap. some people it makes sense to me to imagine that they'd really want to date within their age and maturity range, but i think xigbar's chill as long as the person he's dating is a self-posessed adult. considering how long he's been alive, he's gonna have a significant gap in experience with ANYBODY; there isn't that much of a difference between him dating a 25 year old vs a 45 or 85 year old.

he has told close romantic partners about his Whole Deal before. it has never gone well. ("what do you mean youve been moving into random people's bodies in order to stay alive long enough to bring back a guy who intentionally manipulated his students into killing all of their students via senseless war??") they never understand and he doesn't know why they don't understand (i also headcanon him having severe cognitive dissonance vis a vis the MoM but that's a different post). his instinct is to put up a wall and go "well theyre just naive and stupid and haven't seen what i've seen, theyre too sentimental to understand this". he still keeps trying (if with less frequency) because he is desperate for someone to understand.

*i want to make this crystal clear: i do not headcanon xigbar as being automatically turned on by receiving or causing pain in every context, because he is a boss in a video game franchise where he fights teenagers. i am not comfortable sexualizing those fights!

(i do however think there are contexts where he might indulge in some "battle sadomasochism" when fighting another adult—maybe he makes it weird for them on purpose to fuck with them, maybe they're both into it and it's all foreplay, etc)

related to: him being subservient

youd think that when i talked about him being subservient to others, i was building up to a headcanon about him being a sub. however it feels most correct [and fun] to me to imagine him being a dom-leaning switch vers (doesnt get dysphoria from bottoming because. prostate). social role and personal dynamics dont necessarily correspond to sexual dynamics!

the headcanon i was actually building up to was that he craves affirmation in specific ways from specific people. he is desperate for someone else to give him worth. he wants to do a good job serving an authority he deems worthy of respect. he wants to be useful, he wants to serve a purpose and have a role. he hates feeling like he needs something from someone else, and feels much more comfortable if they need something from him.

he doesn't have a praise kink in a traditional sense, but he does really get his rocks off from being Good At Sex and from his lovers clearly and obviously enjoying themselves. he doesn't wanna be told hes done a good job, he wants to know, to tell from experience that he's blown someone's mind.

furthermore, in romance, he becomes a massive simp. if he likes someone enough to fall for them then they hang the fucking moon for him. he is outside in the rain crying throwing up begging for a sniff. absolutely pathetic. its not a total transformation of personality, i think he'd really hide it and really want to hide it. but i think in most situations it'd be subtle but observable. every joke he makes is directed to them and checked against their reaction; he stands at a middle distance outside of conversation kinda watching them, observing every move, memorizing their gestures and tics and quirks. he feels i love you before the first date but won't say it until five years into the relationship.

related to: i couldnt put it in the other sections and i really only made these section headers so it wasnt just big walls of text oops

he's a low empathy emotionally constipated bitch at the best of times, so he substitutes emotional intimacy with physical intimacy. picking up people at bars or dances or what have you for one night stands, satisfying them thoroughly, and then immediately dropping out of their lives.

he actively avoids romance (and any emotional closeness, including the completely platonic kind). but he hasn't always been this way. i think Dark Road was the most recent in a long long string of experiences where he lost people he was close to. he's tired of hurting people and getting hurt.

. im not gonna get into it because im trying not to be like too too horny in this post but hes So fucking brat tamer coded to me. i think you will understand at least the surface level reasons for this. i guess if i wanted to relate it to Themes i'd say something like "there is a specific romantic and sexual fantasy in being an asshole and even hurting someone and them still wanting you and trusting you and loving you and even enjoying it" but. well we dont need to go there do we

these are just the Depressing / Character-Related / Themes-y headcanons. some of my headcanons are just like "i think this would be funny and/or in character and/or hot" but you see how long this list is anyway. if i started in on all of that then we'd be here forever.

also, these are just headcanons! they're informed by analysis but shaped heavily by what appeals to me personally, what i find hot, what i find compelling about his character. if your headcanons for him differ from mine in any way, i don't think you're Wrong, because we're talking about the sexuality of a guy who comes from a video game franchise where characters are barely allowed to hold hands. this is all just toys and playing

anyway thank you for reading this post lmao its so long

JUST LIKE HIS DIIIIIIIIIIII—

#''but thats a different post'' <-my catchphrase recently #i hope it all makes sense!#depending on the content of the ask i might be shy about answering public asks about this sorta stuff but #mutuals can dm me if they wanna chat abt this ^^#i mean mutuals can call upon me to spill my blood in their name but like. yknow #kh #blakeposts #asks #xigbar scholarship tag

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nyxdrabbles · 5 months ago

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the boys is such a good fucking series to watch, and i enjoy it so much. i do have some complaints or dislikes to it though.

like, the constant racism towards black people specifically is so annoying, but i get that it’s realistic and that actual celebrities just dont give a fuck about black people who are still famous. its more of that its just annoying mostly. im pretty sure thats the whole point of it though and i dont really mind it too much to stop watching it.

second, why the fuck is the deep still existing and why do it feel as if they’re trying to make us feel bad for him? he’s a literal rapist and also racist too. he also fucks sea animals. there’s nothing but that shit to understand about him. no one cares about him and his existence anymore, so why is he still on the show? unless they’re planning to destroy that man in the most brutal way possible, then who gives a fuck about him?

next is firecracker, when is she dying? im already tired of her weird pedophillic homophobic transphobic racist ass. 6 episodes of her is too much already. i need her gone.

then there’s mother’s milk. WHERE THE FUCK IS HIS GODDAMN BEARD?? GIVE HIM BACK HIS OLD MAN BEARD. HE LOOKS NAKED PLEASE.

also with butcher, is he actually supposed to be written as a complete dumbass on purpose or are they running out of ideas for him? they make him constantly do the same things over and over again, face the consequences, learn his lesson when his friends wag their lil fingers at him in shame. then repeat the whole thing again. im kinda getting tired of it, and im just wondering when im watching if he’s ever gonna get a proper character development, cause im not seeing it at all.

+ adding on about butcher, did he really threaten a male victim about being touched as a child by soldier boy? cause thats honestly what i got from that, and that made me really scratch my head. but also make him really disgusted with him. i get he’s supposed to be a pretty bad person as well, but goddamn? i thought he would understand and taunt the guy for being touched as a child — which he didnt consent to and was also ignored by everyone else — since his wife is also a victim herself.

really, i enjoy the show a lot and will keep watching, there’s just somethings that just make me off putted by. its just a simple opinion and thats it.

so far my favorite characters are hughie, mm, a-train, stan, and victoria/nadia. the white people besides the boys scare me ngl. they’re always just fucked up people

#nyxtalks #the boys #the boys tv #the boys critical #the boys review #the boys series #the boys spoilers #the boys mothers milk

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ipatrichor · 1 month ago

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dead boy detectives episode six thoughts

HEY. WHAT THE FUCK. normally i talk about things somewhat chronologically but i Cannot skip over this to come back to later. WHY THE FUCK DID EDWIN GET GOT?? motherfucker right when the night nurse was gonna let them stay together at least temporarily to sort it out 😭 girl get him out of there!!!!!

okay i'm taking deep breaths i'm good. it's fine im chill. im so calm and normal right now it's fine. alright time for the rest of the episode.

monty... i'm a little torn bc him getting stabbed and dismembered to be re-crowed by esther is fucked, but also (like i was afraid of!) he was an asshole about edwin not returning his feelings. so... oh well. still a shame and i feel a little bad for him, but significantly less than i would have otherwise. he's not even dead lol, he's just a bird again

the guy in the fish. kashi maybe?? i do not remember his name but he's so fun i love his vibe. i'd invite him to a party tbh, he seems like the kind of guy who's just pleasant to be around bc he's kind and just really does not stress. i love his interactions with the night nurse, he's so calm and a good contrast to her franticness 👍

SPEAKING OF THE NIGHT NURSE. i really like that she hesitated and ultimately decided not to separate them instead of digging in her heels and refusing to believe the system could make a mistake. it's the perfect culmination for her character, and tracks so well with what she believes- not in the system itself exactly, but that it exists for a reason. that the most important thing is to keep everything in order, and if the system is making mistakes that is not order!! especially with her interaction with the cool fish man getting her to pause and take a breath, i'm really happy with how her character is developing and being written she's so good

oh also!! I WAS FUCKING RIGHT IT FEELS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT. I WAS CORRECT!!! EDWIN REALLY IS IN LOVE WITH CHARLES!!!! girl that was foreshadowed and developed so well they mean So much to me!!!!! aaaahahahahaha i do not have words for how delighted this makes me but!!! know that it is so!!!!!

also wait i just realized this is so funny. edwin attempts to confess his gay love and almost immediately gets sent to hell. girl what is this supernatural?

anyway. i noticed that the bracelet broke, so hopefully when the cat king comes back they'll be able to interact on more even footing. (assuming. i mean. assuming edwin doesn't stay in hell 😭 i really hope they get him out... there are two episodes left so? exciting season finale rescue please? pretty please for me??)

speaking of which. did anyone else think it was hot when edwin, upon being faced with the cat king attempting to stop him from warning charles and crystal, went off on him and told him that the binding spell is all he is? bc that was hot! idk i just really enjoyed edwin snapping back at the cat king, who up til now has essentially held all the power in their interactions. it was immensely satisfying, bc yeah! if you were not literally magically holding him prisoner you would be nothing to him bitch!!! you need to cast a binding spell on a guy to get him to even notice you exist!!!

sorry haha i simply do not like the cat king. i enjoy his vibe and the cunt he gives off but he has fully and completely lost the battle for my respect with how he treats edwin, someone he's interested in who has rejected him. lol get disregarded idiot try a romance tactic other than weird power imbalances and coercion next time

is it just me or do these posts keep getting longer?? there is So Much this episode to talk about!! we got walrus guy backstory (fascinating!), crystal's demon ex putting her down and getting whacked with a magic cricket bat (satisfying! eat shit daniel), mushroom forest elemental extradimensional creature (scary as hell? but also it was hilarious crystal went 'hey u don't have to eat my friends u can just not' and the mushroom was like 'oh shit really? damn my bad bye' and that fucking Worked that's so funny i love it)

crystal... what do i say about crystal i love her!!!! holy shit. her losing her powers to bar her ex from her head, being afraid she's useless without them, and then reclaiming them by looking deeper within her and reconnecting with her heritage.... ough that's so good!!! i love that so much, and i love love love how far her and edwin's friendship has come. "i have come to value you" he's saying you're friends!! you're friends and he cares about you because you're friends, not because you have cool and helpful powers. motherfucker im gonna cry

and niko & jenny!! god that scene was so real. jenny's obviously bad with emotions, but it was really sweet of her to reassure niko as best she can. and yeah the librarian being murderous wasn't niko's fault, but also the situation only happened because niko went against jenny's express wishes to find her secret admirer and set up a date. so it's reasonable for jenny to not be ready to forgive her for that yet, bc that shit was absolutely traumatizing as hell and niko still played a part even if it wasn't fully her fault. but still, jenny puts that aside long enough to talk things out with niko, and i love both of them so much 😭

i thought i got this out at the start but NO. FREE MY BOY EDWIN HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! let him out!!!!!!! give him back and i want him and charles to hug again!!!! and also more interactions with him and niko their friendship is very sweet!!!!! give him back to me please im devastated 😭😭😭

#pat.txt #pat watches dbd #dead boy detectives #is the demon's name daniel? idk man i can't be bothered to care he's not important to me #i'd rather learn fish guy's name he seemed cool #also. im thinking about it but. what the Fuck was that spider thing #why was it like... round? but a lot of round. like boils or some shit. awful horrifying im actually a little glad i didn't get a good look #i just know that shit's gonna be emotionally scarring 😭#LET MY BOY EDWIN OUT. I NEED TO GO WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE NOW I NEED TO KNOW HES GONNA BE OKAY

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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago

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Love Interest

[Character Development Part II]

Joel Miller x Reader + (a not secret pairing)

Summary: Don't you just love it when the universe just hits you with an uno reverse and now you're the one getting flowers?

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: fem!reader, flip zimmerman x reader but idk him and just used his character and made it my own HAHAHHA, pov shift in the end, devil's advocate!ellie, pining, jealousy, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: this is a very niche pairing but im just so psychotic for adam driver that i had to add him. i took the liberty of tagging everyone i could that screamed at me in p1 so enjoy! Tagging: @sloanexx @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @ellooo0ooo @strwwbbrri @zaweashtonslover @aurors-things @b00kw0rmsworld @anxietatema @laysmt @hiddenbabynyc @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi

"Hi." I grunt as I load the basket onto the shelf. I huff and turn around, eyes widening at the fact I have to lift my gaze to find the face of who just spoke. The large man in plaid lets out a breath hot enough it condenses with the chill of the morning air. I offer him a soft smile, "hi." He huffs. His lips curve into a soft grin. I cannot help the way my brows furrow nor the chuckle that leaves me because of his reaction, "can I help you?" He clears his throat. He shifts in his spot then rubs his lips with two fingers, "actually, I'm here to help you." He looks down at the produce in the baskets, sprawled across the floor. He picks two up like it was nothing, "where'd ya want these?" I watch him as he kicks my makeshift step ladder aside (two boxes) and brings the baskets to the high part of the shelf I just couldn't quite reach. He turns to me, "here?" I nod.

"Mornin'," a deep voice huffs.

I turn over my shoulder. I can't help but snigger at the man's just-woke-up face. I shake my head, "clearly not a good mornin', thus the omission."

"Mmm," he grunts, reluctantly reaching his hands out to me, "need some help?"

I burst into giggles as I climb down the ladder with shears in my hand. He steps forward, ghosting his hands over my waist as I go down. I sequentially jump in front of him with a huff.

He fidgets, eyes widening in concern, fully waking up as I do so, "chrissakes."

I snort as I look up at him, "well, do you even know how to prune apple trees?" I show him the shears, "had to learn from the Millers how to do that."

His attention averts from the shears to my face. He mumbles, 200% awake now, "Millers."

I roll my eyes, "Tommy and Maria."

He lets out a breath and nods, taking the shears in my hand, looking to the tree and the ladder, "well, now I'll learn from the Zimmermans."

I huff and roll my eyes, "Flip-"

I still, feeling my lips part.

He looks back at me and clarifies, "you and me, baby."

"I know, I know," he cuts me off, raising a hand, "s'a joke," he climbs up the ladder. He mutters lowly, "half meant, but a joke nonetheless."

I watch as his dark hair brushes against his jaw. I watch as he reaches out for the branches with his thick arms. I watch at how the sunshine reflects on his brown eyes, making them a golden hue. I watch and feel my stomach roll. He brushes his longish hair back. I place my hand on my hip, "do you know how to prune?"

Flip looks down at me, lips curving into a lopsided smile. He pops the p, "nope."

I roll my eyes again, "get down."

"Yes, ma'am," he steps down the two steps my simply taking one big one in front of me. Flip stands in front of me, propping the shears at the top of the ladder.

He looks down at me and stupidly salutes. The constellations of freckles and moles on his face silently urge fingers to retrace them. An early morning breeze blows between us and the smell of grass, flowers, and apples, I find, are slowly beginning to smell like him.

He brings a knuckle to the corner of his eyes and rubs the sand off. His admission of looking for me after taking a morning piss replays in my head after he does this. My belly get even more restless.

"I've been meaning to tell you something," I start, making the man before me still and rigid.

He freezes. I watch him simultaneously gulp and clench his jaw as he drops his hand to the side.

I can't help it. It was a common theme when I was around him-- 'can't help myself'. I can't help but hold back a smile, "I think it's silly you never changed your name."

Flip Zimmerman's face contorts. he takes a moment then his lips fight back a smile.

"I mean," I cross my arms and give an exaggerated look, "we live in a world past birth certificates and IDs..."

I look at how the leaves and branches of the apple trees sway as sunshine kisses their cells. Then, I turn back to Flip, taking in the way the sunshine was kissing him. My eyes dart to his lips. He mirrors my stance, arms crossing, lip corners curving. He furrows his brows and licks the inside of his bottom lip.

I purse my lips tightly at his amused annoyance. I pretend I meant not to continue my train of thought because I caught on he was offended.

"No, go on," Flip nods his head, "please. I'm dying to know how this insult is going to play out."

I laugh, feeling my cheeks hurt as I do. Flip feels his insides churn.

"Well," I try to calm myself, "I was thinking there's no reason for you to go on using the word your parents thought to call you while making pancakes."

Flip is annihilated.

He wheezes so hard, he topples over and sinks down to my height. He reaches out to my arms, squeezing them with his inhumanly large ones, and empties all the amused howls from his diaphragm.

My stomach turns into a washing machine. Its whirring is powered by the sound of his laugh and the feel of his touch.

Flip eventually relents and reclaims his herculean stature. He straightens up, rolls his shoulders back, sighs, and wipes a tear. He chuckles some more as look back at me, "hng- what- hng hng, I'll have you know I enjoy being the only Flip in the known galaxy."

I make a face, "I'm sorry you got Stockholm Syndromed that bad."

He lets out a high pitched giggle. He snorts, "I'll also have you know I plan on naming my child Pivot. I'll say it's French; Pí • vou."

It was my turn to get obliterated. I throw my head back in laughter and slap my hand on my mouth.

Flip starts up like a motorcycle, pleased with my reaction to his joke.

By the time I catch my breath after laughing, I wipe a tear and shake my head, "I feel bad to whomever decides to have a kid with you."

Flip gives a lopsided smirk, "don't worry. I'll be good to you, baby momma."

I instinctively let out a loud sound. Flip watches me as I react, or try my best not to react to his words. I shake my head and move to the ladder, folding it after grabbing the shears.

Flip wordlessly intercepts and takes the ladder from me, ignoring me as I tell him to let me do it. He motions his head, "we doing the next tree or we done for the day?"

"I'm going to do the next tree. You're going to go do your chores."

"You're my chore."

I release a breath and make a face, "uhmmm, that's not as romantic as you think it was."

"So you think I'm romantic?"

"That's literally not what I said."

Later that day, when Flip was finally doing his chores, he was approached by his informant.

He was in the middle of inspecting fuse boxes all over the compound when Ellie sneaks up on him and tries to scare him. Flip, barely flinches as he turns to the girl. He looks at her with slightly wide eyes then relaxes, "hey kid."

Ellie shoves him, "WHY DON'T YOU GET SCARED?!"

Flip barely topples back at her push and looks back to the fuse box, "no idea."

She sighs and comes up to his side, inspecting whatever it was he was doing, then pipes up, "so, how'd apple picking go?"

"It was apple pruning today," he mutters, "and, well, she bullied me over my name."

"Ha," she snorts, "deserve."

Flip ignores this and turns to her after closing the box, "it's clear to me she's obviously still not over your old man."

She flattens her lips into a line.

"So, any ideas?"

Ellie sighs, "look," she raises her hands, "you gotta step up your game! Joel used to do her chores with her too, so that doesn't make you special."

"I thought you said he only did it if she asked."

"Potato, Potahto."

"No, that makes a big dif-"

"YOU GOTTA STEP UP YOUR GAME!" Ellie repeatedly slaps the back of her hand into her palm. Flip stills. She continues, "you should get her something! Something like, I dunno, flowers! Though, I think she would appreciate it more if it was an apple, but you can't really give the apple lady an apple, can you?"

Flip hums, "what about apple pie?"

She gasps and points a finger, "apple pie and flowers."

Flip lets out a chuckle at her excitement, "seems like a plan, except," he shakes hid head, "I can't bake for shit."

"I think this is the part where people say it's the thought that counts," Ellie motions her hands around, "besides, I'm sure as long as you don't poison her, it'll be fine."

Flip tilts his head and looks at the girl as she looks up and thinks, "you know what, I think I remember seeing a recipe book somewhere, let me look for it and," she raises a finger, "I'll even help you."

"Alright," he agrees but then shifts in his spot and crosses his arms, "real talk. Why are you helping me?"

She looks up at the man and makes a face, "bruh," she shakes her head, "I told you! She deserves a hot girl summer."

"It's not s-"

"IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE HOT GIRL SUMMER FOR HER!"

"... how do you even know what that is?"

"ALL I KNOW," Ellie raises a finger "is I was supposed to be making a cake with her, and then I wasn't. And that very same day I find out Joel is hanging out with some other chick. And you," she points, "are going to be evening out the playing field."

Flip watches the teen grow red with anger.

"You also better not mess this up or you'll be my next target," Ellie pulls out her switchblade.

Flip raises his hands and steps back, "fucksake, Ellie, put that away."

Ellie does but points a finger again, "remember. I'm not on your side or his side, I'm on hers." She walks away. Five steps in, she stops and looks over her shoulder, "but also, she smiles a lot more when she's around you, so do what you will with that information."

Flip chuckles as he watches Ellie walk away. He waves his hand around and thinks, "like a rabid bunny."

Ellie goes to Tommy and Maria's place, looking for the recipe book she remembers reading when she was bored. When she comes in, Joel's there and immediately scolds her, telling her to leave her shoes by the door because her boots are grimy and the baby crawls everywhere now.

Ellie rolls her eyes and removes her shoes. She walks up to Joel, who was sat on the living room carpet next to his niece. She chuckles at he sight of the baby ripping at Joel's hair. He raises a thumb in approval, "good job, baby."

Joel turns over his shoulder, inspecting Ellie's sock clad feet and looks back at the baby he was reading to. Before continuing with the flash cards Maria made for her daughter, Joel says, "there's some roast chicken in the counter. They said you can finish it if you want."

Ellie turns to the counter but then walks off to the bookshelf, just past Joel, "not hungry."

Joel makes a sound of disbelief, "right."

She begins to rummage through the books just as Joel reads out some words to the baby girl in his arms. The baby girl can't even walk yet, so Ellie makes a face at the sight of them, wondering if this was even effective. She thinks maybe Joel was just bored out of his mind.

Ellie can't help but chuckle when the child takes the card from Joel's hand and accidentally pokes his eye with it. She whispers under her breath, "deserve."

Joel pulls his head back and grabs the card from the baby. He grunts, "you're worse than Sarah."

Ellie snorts as she continues looking for the recipe book.

The baby makes a much of sounds and Joel grumbles, "yeah, yeah, it's not your fault you have underdeveloped motorskills."

Ellie giggles as she finally spots the book, "are you arguing with a baby?"

Joel looks up to Ellie, "I'm having a civil conversation."

Ellie rolls her eyes as she laughs, "how's that going for you, grampa?"

Joel grumbles, just as the baby yawns, "uncle."

Ellie snorts at the fact she was corrected. She flips through the pages of the cook book, "whatever you say, uncle grandpa."

Joel stands from the floor, cradling the baby in his arms, "alright. Nap time it is then." He lets out old man sounds as he gets on his feet and is about to bring the baby to her crib, but stops when Ellie exclaims in excitement. He catches the cover of the book in her hands then asks, "you baking with her again?"

Ellie looks up from the page, watching Joel stroke the child's tiny back. She thinks for a moment then grins, "nah. Flip wants to make her an apple pie."

Joel makes a face, "flip what?"

Elle's eye narrows. Is he for real? "Flip!" She closes the book and raises an arm, "the sasquatch?! With the," she flexes her arms, "big man boobs and the," she flips her ponytail back, "luscious dark locks."

When she turns back to Joel, she catches how his face darkens in real time.

Ah, Flip.

She wanted so badly to scoff and egg him on, but then she thought that she would be giving herself away too much if she did. Instead, she clarifies with a no-duh tone, "Flip Zimmerman."

Joel clears his throat, "yea. I got it."

Ellie huffs through her nostrils and purses her lips. She dashes over to Joel, gently squeezing the baby's dangling leg, before running off and calling, "see ya on the flip side, Joel."

Joel lets out an annoyed chuckle, turning around, just to see Ellie shove her shoes on and run out of the door. He scoffs and looks at the baby, "who the fuck names their kid Flip?"

She doesn't give a crap what her uncle is saying and nuzzles against his neck.

Joel sighs, "ok, nap time for us then."

Joel looks up from the sheep pen when he hears a fit of giggles. He looks up and sees you and Abella carrying a large basket of vegetables, both of you had a hand on the handle.

He straightens up and wipes his hands on the back of his pants while the two of you huff and urge the other to walk faster because you feel the basket slipping. He is about to jump over the fence and jog up to you to help but then the sound of a loud scream from behind surprises him.

"CHEATERS!"

Joel looks out to whom shouted just as you do.

Flip fucking Zimmerman's arms strain through his muddy flannel.

The two women turn to each other and finally drop the basket once they're in front the storage house. They let out giddy, heavy breathes and high-five each other in accomplishment.

Joel feels like his insides warm at the sight. He feels like he's being torn from the inside. He thinks about the friendship between the two of you. He watches as you two lean on each other and laugh before pulling away. He watches as Abella beams, finding himself reminded by the fact it was so easy to be around her, so easy to love her. She was the type of person that lit up the room. It was undoubtedly the reason why you both were so taken with each other.

He watches as you look out to the approaching man.

You were, too, incredibly easy to be around. No fuss, no muss, just... just you.

He steps back and decides to busy himself with the sheep when Flip finally reaches the two of you.

"First of all," Flip huffs as he stops, "I take the fact y'all cheated cause you were too scared to be beaten by me as a compliment."

You roll your eyes and stick out your tongue. Abella giggles, covering her face.

"Second of all," Flip puts down the two large baskets of vegetables he hand in either hand, "y'all did me dirty by tripping me into the mud. Literally."

You and Abella speak at the same time, "we didn't trip you!"

Joel's ears perk. He sneaks a look. Well, you shudda.

Flip hums as he narrows his eyes, "right."

"It's literally not our fault--" you start. Your words go dry when Flip begins to undo the buttons of his shirt. Abella's jaw goes lax while you clench yours after Flip pries the caked-in-brown material off his torso.

Joel's eye twitches at the sight of the man undressing. He looks around and scoffs. He's two seconds away from storming over and telling him off. Doesn't Somersault know there are kids around?

Abella looks away and whistles. You rather unabashedly look down at his abdomen.

Flip furrows his brows, not doing much to conceal his shit eating grin, "what was that, baby momma?"

You lift your gaze to glare at him, "I told you to stop calling me that."

"Okay, wifey," he smiles.

Abella presses her lips together tightly.

"Unlike you I actually have a proper name, which you can call me by."

Abella holds back a giggle.

"Well why should I when it's so much more fun to call you mine," Flip leans forward, each tooth in his stupid head on full display. You cannot help the fact your body begins to prick with heat.

Joel stills when he sees this. His insides fume when he catches how close Rotate gets to your face. This man has no sense of decorum whatsoever.

Flip only turns away when there is a loud crash from a distance. Joel knocked over some metal buckets by accident and is now roughly setting them back up. When Flip turns back to you, Abella looks back and finally spots Joel. She smiles when she does. You, however, could only awkwardly shift in place, not knowing what to do or where to look.

Abella looks back at you and laughs at your stance. She looks at Flip and shakes her head, "I can't lie, that was pretty good."

Joel's brows furrow at her words. What's with the enabling?

Flip wipes his side with his shirt then throws it over his shoulder. You glare at Abella and she holds back a laugh. Flip looks to her and points, "you like that, do ya? Well you'll love this."

Flip pulls out a piece of paper from the back of his pocket and hands it to you. Abella watches in excitement as you apprehensively take the paper from him.

Will you make flowers and make apple pie with me?

▢ Y E S ▢ no

Abella watches as your begin to shift restlessly in your spot. She barely catches a glance of your paper before you say, "so," you look to Flip, "you never graduated high school, is that it?"

Joel hears this and scoffs out a chuckle. He shovels some dirt and thinks, probably didn't get passed elementary.

"There is a charm in the childish," Flip smiles, "also, no pressure, but I never got yeses way back when."

You bite your lower lip to conceal your smile. You fail, "damn. It would be wrong of me to break that tradition now.

Flip's breath hitches, muttering softly under his breath, "no, it really wouldn't."

Abella immediately knows what the note is after hearing that. She coos and clutches her chest, "a yes/no note?"

Joel scoffs and mutters as he shoves his shovel into the ground, "a fucking yes/no note?"

Flip wipes his lips with his fingers, "I didn't want to give you flowers and pie if you didn't want them."

Joel stops his shovelling.

"And I also thought it would be much more enjoyable to do these things if you were there," Flip adds, suddenly crossing his arms, making his chest muscles get smushed up, and clears his throat, "it's not at all because I wanted to know what flowers you liked nor because I don't want to accidentally poison you with my baking at all."

When you rub your face after hearing this, Abella takes a hint and looks away. She pretends she just spotted Joel, "oh my goodness, look, it's Joel!"

Joel nearly has a heart attack when he hears his name get called. He stiffens as he watches Abella jog over to him. Whatever semblance of calmness he feels from her smile is shattered when he catches you turning to him. His eyes lock with yours and his mouth goes dry. He clenches his jaw and offers a small smile, raising a hand.

The way your lips curve into the faintest of grins grates at his heart, especially when it breaks into a thin line and an eyeroll, one that you did in endearment. He watches you turn to Flip as he whispers something to you. You promptly attack him and pinch his arm violently for it, groaning but giggling at the same time.

Joel watches Invert recoil at the violence he so clearly merited for whatever the fuck he whispered. He only looks away when a hand is waved in front of his face.

"Earth to Joel," Abella pipes, finally earning his attention.

Joel looks at her and her pretty doe eyes, melting at the sight, "hi, honey."

Abella chuckles under her breath, "that's not the appropriate response to what I said at all, but I'll take it."

Joel sighs and shakes his head, turning back to his sheep, "I'm embarrassed to admit I didn't hear a word you said, sugar."

Abella's face flushes at the pet names. She levels her breathing as Joel turns back to her while he readies to shovel up some dirt again. Abella tilts her head, "I said they look cute, don't they?"

Joel's shovel skids on the ground as he scoops up some manure.

As if on cue, you laugh so hard it's impossible not to look to your direction. And Joel does it so instinctively. It's possible for Abella though. Her chest tightens as he watches Joel look your direction. She decides to look too in the end and finds herself smiling at how you and Flip were now chasing each other around as he threatens to get the mud his shirt on you. She cannot help the giggle that leaves her at the sight of Flip waving his shirt around as you evade him, careful not to hit the baskets on the ground.

Abella's expression falls when he hears Joel grumble to himself. She would not hear it well enough to distinguish the fact that Joel said, "fucking flipper."

Joel makes the mistake of looking the next instance you squeal. It was his mistake that he looked and found you wrapped in the arms of the beefy lunatic.

Abella catches how quickly he looks away after. She says, "you like her, don't you?"

Joel turns to Abella, leaning on the shovel, "what?"

She shrugs and shakes her head, "well if you don't think that," she points to side, "looks cute, then obviously you like her."

Joel watches as Abella leans on the pen and flares at the skewed reasoning. He tilts his head as his one eye twitches, "I don't have to think they look cute at all. It's none of my business what she does with him anyway. They can roll in mud for all I care."

"But you-" Abella quip but then chokes on her words.

Joel is increasingly annoyed, "but what?"

"But you like her," she blurts softly.

Joel clenches his jaw. He regurgitates a dark chuckle. His ears twitch at the sound of your laughter but he no longer makes the mistake of looking.

Abella knows what went on between the two of you, and she knows that was why Joel insisted on taking things slow. And by slow, they haven't even kissed yet. So what happens next takes her off guard.

Joel yanks his shovel out of the ground and walks over to her. He bends down to meet her lowered face and offers a smile. Once their eyes meet, he kisses her softly.

Abella's spirit leaves her when Joel's lips press against hers and his mustache tickles her skin. When they pull away, he rubs his nose against her as her breath hitches, "not like how I like you."

When Joel smiles at her, Abella feels like she could fly. She reaches out and caresses his cheeks lightly. When Joel closes his eyes, Abella's touch is not what he feels. She leans over the pen to give him a deep kiss and once they pull away, they're both breathless. Joel's eyes open and he feels a dread wash up in the face of Abella's beauty. But then she rubs her thumbs on his cheek and now he's actually smiling at her.

Abella watches Joel as he goes back to his work, a grin playing on his lips as he tried not to smile too big.

She was too taken by the kiss, too taken by him to realize the full meaning of his words, not how I like you. He didn't like Abella the way he liked you.

Joel's expression fades as his eyes roll to your direction against himself. It seems the baskets were stored away now, since they were no longer in sight and the two of you were walking off. Spin was still shirtless as ever. Joel watches his back muscle flex as he moved.

You snort as you shove Flip away. Flip lets himself topple to the side and walks back closer as he looks down on you and smiles. He pushes your hair away from your face as a breeze blows.

Joel wonders for a moment if you and him had ever been like this, laughing at the littlest things, annoying everyone, obviously smitten. And then he wonders about what he, himself, meant... not like how I like you.

Joel looks back at Abella, who very much melts at his gaze.

How did he like you?

#joel miller fanfic #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller angst #flip zimmerman x reader #flip zimmerman #joel miller #flip zimmerman fanfic #joel miller fic #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fic #the last of us fluff #joel miller smut #the last of us x reader

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p4nishers · 9 months ago

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i don't know if you even posted about it but

which discworld books have you read already?? and maybe you have some favourites like I STRONGLY SUSPECT THAT IT'S NIGHT WATCH but what if im absolutely wrong..please share

anon i will lay my life down for you i've been waiting for this for so so long (literally since november. but whatever)

so. from the rincewind series i've only read the last continent and unseen academicals bc reasons. one of them being is that i am weirdly passionate about the ridcully/bursar ship only i care about and they're developed enough characters by those books for me to actually have something to ship. i can't think of other reasons but. they're there definitely i promise. oh yeah unseen academicals was by FAR my fav from the two but i found the ending a little eh so i dont consider that one a FAVORITE favorite. but its still insanely fucking good.

then i've read all of the witches novels except equal rites and that's only cause i was listening to the audiobook and then i forgot where i left off and i just didn't finish it. anyway the clear winner for me is and always will be carpe jugulum and it's DEFINITELY one of my top 3 discworld books. like i know you didn't ask for this to be a hundred pages long but fuck me that BOOK. i could write ESSAYS. also wyrd sisters is a fucking masterpiece and i wont hear a WORD against it. thank you.

all of the death books expect thief of time and i honestly i just dont want to end the series yet so i'm still putting it off. give me some time. favorites from that hmm well hogfather DUH but also reaper man. listen man it's about found family it's about bill door it's about death giving his TIME for a little girl it's about I NEVER WORE A CROWN YOU NEVER WANTED TO RULE it's THE FIRST FUCKING TIME WE MEET REG SHOE also the wizards are fucking GREAT in that one i just love it. not top 3 material but definitely a comfort read.

from the watch books i've read up to thud! which i'm still half way thru bc i'm not ready to move on from night watch like i had to listen to it on audiobook two days after i've first read it bc it just sucks you in man. does NOT let go. and yeah you're so so so right and true about night watch being one of my absolute favorites that book changed me as a person i'm still definitely not over it. like at all. also feet of clay and fifth elephant will always ALWAYS be my children and have my heart for obvious reasons (cheery. its cheery).

from the moist books i only have raising steam left and yes again im putting it off bc i dont wanna finish the series whatever dont look too deep into my issues

uh. shit this is so fucking long ok sorry. from tiffany novels i've read up to wintersmith and so far the wee free men is my absolute favorite i cried so much reading that book it's embarrassing.

small gods was my very first discworld novel and let me fucking tell you man absolutely HILARIOUS place to start when you dont know shit about the world building that's all im gonna say. also it's just so fucking good it's insane to me like yeah maybe it's not as funny as the others but the way terry wrote about faith and gods and devotion and the church and ugghh. (sidenote i read an brutha/om fic a few weeks ago that changed my fucking LIFE im being so so serious rn that was a masterpiece)

and i think the only one left is the truth which is in my opinion one of the best written discworld books from what i've read and definitely in my top 3. like otto chriek would be enough to convince me and THEN there's mr tulip's backstory and william confronting his dad (man that scene where william gives his father thousands of dollars to pay back for what he "cost" him over his life. anyone got reminded of that one ladybird scene? yeah.) and it's just like the best thing you've ever read.

im so sorry this got so long im insane i hope u got some kind of answer out of it

#the problem is carpe jugulum and night watch and the truth are all 1. for me i couldn't ever choose #discworld #gnu terry pratchett #night watch #carpe jugulum #the truth #terry pratchett #idk if u want a number but i think i've read like 23. which is insane there's so little left im rocking back and forth and back and forth

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frankiistein · 8 days ago

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which is the better webcomic to you homestuck or breadavota?

i mean im like the one man fandom of bread but hs has the advantage (or disadvantage) of being finished, breadavota still has the potential to majorly fuck itself up the way hs did after act 3

imma try 2 break my opinion down in detail

characters:

ok so i will say that hs characters r based on american subcultures and im not american so theres probably some emotional appeal 2 its mostly american audience that i dont relate 2, so i think most of its audience will find them more relatable or deep than i do

anyway i think breadavotas characters r generally more well-developed but hs wins by diversity, even tho admittedly the majority of the hs cast r one-off characters made as jokes (looking at u dancestors)

i said this in a previous post but rpp mostly writes just One Type Of Guy: vaguely schizophrenic assholes

but w/e jacques and bien r fucking winning at being vaguely schizophrenic assholes and u gotta respect jacques for being a character with an actual schizoid personality disorder diagnosis instead of just "coded mentally ill"

johns more interesting than bread is so far tho

worldbuilding:

with hs i think the worldbuilding that rly fleshed out the hs universe didnt rly happen in hs but happens in the other stuff (friendsims, hiveswap, etc) so idk if that counts

hs definitely does portraying alternias culture in a way that promotes the transformative/interactive nature its aiming at: its easy to imagine making ur own trollsona/oc bcuz u can imagine alternia as a place

maldevara is barely a "place" and is more like. a state of being. or a vibe. like there r bits and pieces of its physical culture but most of what we know about it is the sociopolitical philosophy of the maldevarans

idk what the word for it is, ig hs is a more "fun" story and breadavota while not exactly a "serious" story just feels more.... "thinky" and philosophical, its engaging as a thought exercise but isnt the most appealing as a "story" per se

weird-ass aliens:

i like the marginals better but they rly do appeal to a very particular niche ig. the trolls undeniably have better appeal and relatability

the thing with the marginals is that the "depth" of their character building doesnt have as strong as an impact unless u relate 2 the specific Mental Illnesss Experience they embody

both of them have the "4 some reason this super foreign alien species essentially just look like humans bcuz of obvious author appeal" but ig breadavota kinda gets away w/ that bcuz the marginals r more-or-less implied to be part human..... or smthng (at least media is)

the hemosystem of the trolls gives it an edge in diversity (all the marginals on the other hand just seem vaguely The Same Guy and even if it makes sense narratively 4 them 2 be like that it still makes it feel like theres no point in caring about anybody that isnt The Marginal Trademark Symbol Media) altho i do hate how the hemosystem eventually turned the first 12 trolls into archetypes that every other troll was an expy of so idk

"game" mechanics:

both hs and breadavota use the videogamey mechanics for their magic/reality systems so its worth comparing

hs has better mechanics imo but abandoned them halfway thru the story and sburb was kinda forgotten by act 6, which is a shame bcuz u can rly see how hussie used that computer science knowledge and translated it to the hs world mechanics

breadavotas mechanics r harder to grasp and feel less "logical" imo but if the story actually keeps up their relevance it might be easier 2 get used 2 over time

time travel shenanigans:

hs was rly good at handling its time travel shenanigans ill give hussie a point for that one

breadavota has some leniency again bcuz the story isnt that far into it yet but theres not enough "altline" stuff and tbh idk how rpp plans on handling the whole "it isnt real/its all just a dream" trope implied with the alternate timeline doomed to undo itself in a way that doesnt make u think "well what the fuck was the point of all of that then"

visuals:

would u believe me if i said homestuck. lmfao

rpp is a good artist and a good writer but its clear to me that they were never a comic artist before and has trouble portraying a story with pictures

idk how 2 explain it exactly but i think the thing is rpp as an artist draws very "literally" and the way they write is veryyyy abstract, and this is rly most evident in the prose stories that completely lack visuals. rpp has always relied alot on narration (and all the prose stories are either majority narration or even just narration), and they cant do that with the comics bcuz the comics need dialogue

hs mostly has simple visuals but the dialogue format makes it so they feel more integrated

also the hs flashes are just masterworks imo

ofc as a diehard breadavota stannie ill defend breadavota as being a mostly one-person endeavor made by a chronically ill person and the hs flashes had multiple artists so yeah

hussie has always been an artist and hs isnt their first work so they had a lot of experience under their belt. i do respect breadavota for what it is considering its the first thing rpp has ever made

music:

homestuck wins bro it has toby fox. ig breadavota doesnt "need" a musician but rpp obviously likes putting music in the story so it would be a bonus

(i know rpp made like one instrumental song which wasnt a bad song but they obviously r not a musician)

pacing:

they both fucking suck but hs got away with it better

hs dragged itself out way 2 long only to rush itself near the end but hussie updating astronomically fast when it was running made the slowness feel negligible

breadavotas pacing could use a lot of slowing down if ur an archive reader but bcuz it takes like one update every million years to progress it feels excruciatingly slow. like in the four years the story has existed its only been two days in the comic

tbh i think breadavota updates fast enough for a webcomic, at least it feels on par w/ other webcomic updates. most regular webcomics done by single artists updates one page a week so all things considered breadavota has a good amount of content especially considering that rpp doesnt have as much time as ppl whose job it is is to draw their comics

hussie was just exceptionally fast even when considering that its bcuz hs has overall less visuals and recycled sprites

at the very least the new website fixed the most annoying issue the old website for bread had where having every minor update in between the major ones was distracting

conclusion:

tbh i think hs has a lot of mass appeal and rly strikes being so weird and unique w/o being as "off putting" and even tho hussie kinda fumbled the bag over the years the popularity hs has feels well-deserved

im biased 2 breadavota but i can say it does feel very inclined towards a specific type of audience bcuz the entire story is structured around a specific type of experience. like its a very "alienated 4 being mentally ill" story but w/o the usual "but we find found family and community in fellow alienated ppl" that u would usually expect/want in this type of story and like its intentional bcuz the story is about that but i understand it makes it hard 4 most ppl to latch on to

the pop culture references of hs and diversity of character "tropes" can make it broadly relatable and while i dont think u need to "relate" to characters or stories 2 find value in them i think the thing is if u dont exactly see where breadavota is coming from the "point" of it doesnt rly hit

i think what i like abt breadavota is that it portrays certain experiences that nothing else ive seen rly does, but its a rly "thinky" sort of comic that makes it less "fun" as just a story (even if it does still work as a story) for ppl who dont care for or see what its getting at

also since breadavota rly appeals to a specific person on top of already being obscure it means practically everyone engaged w/ the comic interprets it a similar way. i think what made hs get as big as it did was that people werent just engaged with hs alone, they engaged w/ the fandom and saw alot of different theories and analysis

hussie and rpp have both always been "weird" and that reflects in their story but their "brand" of weirdness uhhh reflects in their story. for how polarized hussie is in the fandom ultimately theyve always been more for interactivity: hs started as reader-led, they already had an audience and connections from being an artist for a long time and hussie clearly has a broad collection of interests and inspirations to draw from which makes hs feel "well rounded" and the recognition of inspirations a bonus to some

rpp is an insular person even among the ppl they know, they dont talk 2 ppl, they dont read books, they dont play games, they dont watch tv, etc. homestuck is an inspiration for breadavota not just bcuz "rpp rly likes homestuck" but bcuz they dont rly know a lot of stories to use as an inspiration and their overall reclusiveness makes their character writing feel particular in a way that can be offputting 2 other ppl bcuz first of all they dont know how normal ppl act and secondly since rpp is a "clasically" intelligent person they seem unable to write characters who arent all somewhat intellectual. bien is an "idiot" but lbr... he is not an idiot lmfaooooo. the "thinky"-ness that permeates everything they make can make the story intimidating and it has high expectations for the overall "intelligence" of its audience. and like thats not a bad thing, 2 many stories treat their readers like idiots, but it does make it a story that feels very all or nothing. u either gotta be autistic abt it or u dgaf

breadavota sorta has no choice but 2 draw from author experience bcuz rpp doesnt rly have the means to draw it from anything else. they dont know pop culture, they arent part of communities and they dont engage in fandoms, and that makes breadavota as a story have an interesting and candid perspective that does make it stand out even among other self identified MSPFA type stories but it also makes it both broadly unrelatable and inevitably tinged with the Schizoisms in a way homestuck for all its "craziness" was never so hardcore abt

#breadavota #homestuck

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nothbee · 3 months ago

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HIII!!

So! In this scenario theres still midori fucking things up BUT, no death game has happened yet. So as follows canon theres a fallout and Reko is distraught and Alice is in prison- but heres where things change a bit

I love to put a little comedy in my aus so Alice disappears- in pushing his tough guy persona he accidentally gets involved with a prison break (he is in way too deep) and goes off the radar. Reko learns of this even though I thiiink asunaro would suppress this information.

The prison break may have been orchestrated by asunaro Im still figuring that out.

Anyway so Rekos been desperately trying to figure out what happened to her brother and generally doing so bad. She stops singing, her band takes hiatus, the fact Alice handles the finances also means that suddenly being on her plate is extremely stressful. Wont get tooo much into alice bc this is reko’s post

Still smoothing this part out; when Reko overhears Keiji and Sara talking about their investigation, she basically leaps over herself to get involved through any means. Basically stuffs herself into that dynamic. Shes also really offput by sou and keiji being full grown unstable men hanging out with teenage girl sara. (Later she figures out sou is a sad deranged man she should be worried about for different reasons and Keiji is aromantic and she should be worried about him for ‘Horrible influence’ reasons)

I wanna give reko a big spot on the like ‘main team’ ive developed bc i love her and she deserves it. Shes important. To me :-) and i refuse to commit the crime of giving the guys all the attention when shes got so much to her character i wanna explore here

#bee talkz #yttd au #detective au #reko yabusame #alice yabusame

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jessaerys · 11 months ago

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just finished a short stay in hell by steven l peck (basically fanfiction of borges's the library of babel - a hell where you have to find a book of your life in a library containing every combination of characters possible, so, more books than there are electrons in the universe) and while i did like it and had a very good time reading it AND white it was skillfully written and very good at conveying the despair it wishes to convey, im left kind of meh... about it. there's a certain lack of creativity to it i guess?

even with the parameters set (population homogeneity: everyone is a white american, about 25, and from around the same modern century) i can imagine very many ways to find meaning, pleasure, knowledge and fun with people through the billions and billions eons. specially with the kiosks that can give you any food you want. i can imagine cultures building around the pleasures of food and arguably its equally infinite possibility of combinations. the nightly resets of the injured and the dead -- through the millennia you could go the cenobite way and find the delicacy in all forms of pain and torture. the lack of diversity seems to be part of the torture and is remarked upon over and over to the point of fetishization of the other. BUT i think even in the very small subsection of people, the knowledge accumulated + differences of experiences are still infinitely varied... specially if you develop a deep love for humanity. you could interview people and eventually come to a consensus on whether you all see the same red.

there was a small glimpse of that kind of imagination and creativity when the narrator spent a thousand years with rachel (the game of tag, the decade they decided to pretend to be dogs) but when he and rachel lose each other it's back to oh woe is me, everything is the same and so boring. why don't you fuck a man and maybe you'll realize there are still experiences to be had

#allegedly reading #a short stay in hell #LIKE. skill issue. i would have simply spent eternity having a good time in the library

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tremorsmackenzie · 3 months ago

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jessica jones rewatch review

so, ive just finished rewatching jessica jones because my disney+ access has ended. this will contain spoilers for the entire show.

disclaimer: i last watched it a few years ago with my mom and loved it back then, and my memory of it post season 1 was kind of blurry except for some central plot elements, and that i really disliked hogarth and trish towards the end.

so. season 1 was the best in terms of overall plot, character development, vibe, and consistency in my opinion. the best story and definitley also the best villain, kilgrave fucking slaps as a bad guy.

jessica in general is an awesome character, and has never really left my top three. i love her development, her personality, and her writing most of the time. she tries to live her life and take care of herself, but also helps the little guy when its not a wasted effort, and when she makes mistakes and ends up hurting people the reason is human error, not maliciousness or disinterest in other people, and she generally takes responsibility for her actions.

that said, sometimes her writing is lazy or just bad in order for the plot to happen, but unfortunately thats always a problem that exists.

after that, i have some thoughts. in general, i dont really see the narrative point of many of the side stories in the last two seasons. they only barely had anything to do with the main story (especially hogarths arcs), so that was kind of just exhausting to watch, because i genuinely dislike hogarth and, as i said, there kind of was no point to her scenes most of the time for the main narrative, which didnt make it better. the same is true for the sheer amount of sex scenes. in general i dont have a problem with those, but here they were just redundant in terms of plot most of the time, there were way too many of them especially with that in mind, and because of that there was no value added to the show by them. it felt more like filler, or trying to achieve the rating of the show.

what annoyed me the most was how almost every single main character on the show, with the exception of jessica, became so goddamn unlikeable. the side characters were mostly fine (costa, griffin, oscar, etc.), but trish, hogarth, and malcolm were hard to tolerate later on. thats partially due to the genre of the show and what themes are explored there, but its difficult to sympathize with the characters enough to keep watching for 13 episodes per season, when all they do is manipulate and screw each other over constantly, with almost no redeeming qualities or real consequences for their actions, and im not sure whether id call that a good writing decision. that whole situation is a toxic mess and i really hope jessica found some better people after the show ended.

beyond that obviously the female characters were all deep and complicated people, which is one of my favourite things about this show, but i also really wish that some of them werent written as assholes past season 1.

so yeah, those are my thoughts. still one of my favourite shows of all time, but man do i wish the writing had been kinder in season 2 and 3. really hope jessica will be back in daredevil born again or a future show/movie.

Edit: also im mad that oscar and the potential of a genuinely positive relationship with a good person for jessica, that was built up the entire second season, was immediatley taken away at the start of the third season.

#jessica jones #rewatch #review #jeryn hogarth #malcolm ducasse #trish walker #jj meta #jj critical

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weltonlasso · 1 year ago

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can confirm the Brendan interview helps with the grieving process. like don’t get me wrong im still mad as shit but the like PIT in my stomach has lessened and the gaping hole in my chest is gone. (I thought if I misinterpreted Ted/Rebecca i couldn’t trust myself) but Brendan really doubled down and said Beard and Jane aren’t toxic, she’s not manipulative and abusive! THEN he double-doubled down and said it was an intentional choice not to have Ted at his best (and truly ONLY) friends wedding cause he’s busy with soccer practice (but this was not said in jest-fuckhead was dead serious). AND THEN then they let Beard and Jane wed with the red string of fate WHILE pregnant. AFTER THE SHOW TEASED THAT STRING OF FATE TO TR AND WROTE REBECCA WANTING TO BE A MOM.

and for the BIG FINALE he said that WE were conditioned to see those connections and to expect a relationship between Ted and Rebecca through years of M/F lead media. Sorry but that’s fucking rude and GROSSSSSSS!!!!! someone needs to get him logged out of Reddit. what a fucking slap in the face to us AND their own writing. What he is describing is literally the opposite of the entire narrative for me, so I literally can’t be bothered to care it they don’t. it seems like we watched two entirely different programs so why not treat it as such. My cannon is mine based on the exposition and character development with deep connections and meaningful relationships and idk just legitimately paying attention to the writing/directing/editing/acting choices that were made.

Like are the creators really so fucking far removed from their final product that they can’t see the collective of the story they’ve put together?

Someone ask them to go back and rewatch the show from the beginning and then come tell me they thought season 3 actually was good or even decent. And give me legitimate reasons for everyones stories being “subverted” and confirm that all of those final storylines make sense

because they DO NOT if you’ve followed the story from the beginning. Or even this season. Like legit the BEST storyline this season was the Jamie growth and Jamie/Roy relationship evolution. Lol what a gross take for them to end that with them regressing back to “dumb men” over Keeley. this season literally feels like every episode was written by someone who subsequently forgets to tell next weeks guy about his main plot points. the audience is watching and waiting to connect the storyline/ arcs together.

Idk idk man but im fine with it being trash if they are!!!!

Emmy winner Ted Lasso put out a pedestrian finale to appease a casual viewer and allow the writers to ignore storylines from the episodes they clearly didn’t have time to read.

In my head, in our collective blogging, and in fanfic we have truly captured a deeper more beautiful story than what they made. Their ideas were too pedestrian, but we saw two middle aged people, damaged in almost opposite ways, beautifully come into each others lives for the better, and fill them up in all the ways they were missing, like puzzle pieces. We allowed them to be themselves and LOVE themselves and to choose themselves and their wants and happinesses. And they can do it together. After every similar traumatic backstory and all of the same HURT we had to witness these two go through. They deserved happy and they deserved it together. Sorry the creators missed out on that. It was incredible.

#I’ll still be grieving for a time but not sick to my stomach anymore and just generally over IT at this point #decisions were made #finales are sometimes written to be controversial or memorable #and I guess that’s what they thought they wanted for the story they told #but the story I consumed was so fucking far from that that I have to still give them props that I could FEEL so many feelings #ted lasso #ted x rebecca

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eddieschains · 2 years ago

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incoming sappy post for baby’s birthday

my best friend had been watching stranger things since the beginning, and once she found out i had never even finished season 1 (don’t yell at me 😅), she had a FIT. she practically forced me to watch it so that we would have something in common to talk about and jesus h christ am i glad she did.

i loved it. i finally understood why there was such a huge fandom surrounding this show. i binged it all as fast as i could. and then when i started season 4, i saw him. i was immediately transfixed by his character, his performance, and just the way he carried himself. i fell down a rabbit hole, trying to figure everything out about this man that i could which in turn, made me watch practically everything he’s ever acted in.

i just thought he was amazing. the way he’s able to just perfectly nail every single character he ever plays, and make you feel exactly what you’re supposed to feel while watching him was magic. i truly believe he is one of the greatest actors of his generation.

so i started liking a lot of photos and videos of him on instagram, and following some fan pages on there and i made a friend through him! it was crazy that after watching him in one season of a show would turn into this crazy hyper fixation over everything he could ever do 😂

and one day i got the random idea to log back into tumblr after years of abandoning it, wondering if people still write fan fiction and if they wrote about him. plot twist, they do, and im so so so glad they do. i came across @ceriseheaven and let me just say, i had NEVER read anything that transported me the way her writings did.

i read everything. i was mesmerized. i kept reading any and everything i could find about joe or eddie and that was when i found @choke-me-joey . i saw the way she would write about any and everything that could possibly come to mind when it came to joe and eddie, and somehow finding her turned into a real friendship. a friendship that i honestly will cherish for the rest of my life.

these two beautiful creatures really inspired me to start writing again after idk 8 years?? and holy shit has it been a whirlwind. i was so nervous to start again, thinking that i was going to be absolute shit. but you guys all made me feel so welcome in the writing community, and you’ve really supported me in this journey and i can’t thank you enough.

even when i was deep in my 1D phase, i never felt a sense of community like i have here. and i never developed friendships the way i have with you guys. i genuinely can barely remember what my life was like before this but i can imagine it was pretty miserable since you guys weren’t in it 😘

so happy birthday joe. thank you for everything. 🤍

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rarepairnation · 6 months ago

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20 questions for writers!

tagged by @emyn-arnens literally over a month ago and im finally getting to it now lol much love thank you for continuing to tag me in things even though im the worst at doing them sometimes.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 65 (15 of them are under my archive pseud though lol)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 265,381

3. What fandoms do you write for? actively writing for lotr, pacific rim, my secret little marvel rarepair

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? these are so funny they're all my avatar work from before i remade on this blog. well throwback i guess. they're still dear to me.

open arms, atla sokka coming out to his dad

earth system history, atla sokka/zuko college au where zuko is an earth scientist

[redacted h*rry p*tter work from 2016]

love's not for show, atla bato/hakoda sokka creates a master plan to get his dad and bato to admit that theyre dating but they're NOT

knife loves heart, human loves human, james bond 007/q post-spectre fixit fic (my Only 00q and possibly also my only fixit fic?)

5. Do you respond to comments? i try so so so hard but the executive function that allows me to say anything coherent only comes around every so often lol

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? a couple contenders for this one but if we're talking strictly the ending probably i'm not leaving (til we make it home) (exu calamity patia & laerryn / patia & the ring of brass exploring her relationship with love and loneliness and finally being free to express how much she loves her friends only in the last hours of her life and dying happy for it).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? also a couple contenders for this one but i feel like many of them are tinged with not a small amount of melancholy. so we are going with a big throwback to sun through open windows (atlok mako/wu plotless little morning routines fic that is about nothing in particular but also about realizing you have everything your younger self thought you would never have).

8. Do you get hate on fics? not in a long long time (like probably 7-8 years) thank god!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes although none of it is published (yet). what kind? idk man whatever im horny about this month. ok but for serious. really been into character developing smut. do u know what i mean. i’m telling you something about who each of these people are and how they view each other through the way they fuck. this probably says quite a lot about me

10. Do you write crossovers? i'm not much for the kind where characters from different franchises Interact, but i am partial to taking some guys and translating them to a different setting. ah to put characters in a situation and watch as the fundamental core of their being stays the same....

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? hope not lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not that i'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! we have not finished it but it's absolutely CORE thesis-level influential on my entire psyche. even if we never get back to it i'll think about it until the day i die and that is not an exaggeration.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? of ALL TIME? i straight up dont know if i can answer this one. ALL TIME???? my long-term emotional permanence is NOT good enough and my recency bias is too strong for this. ok i think the only way i can answer this is with the ship that has gotten the deepest into my psyche and my soul. which is yancytendo pacific rim. they. affect me. on a level i will probably never be able to fully explain. the 'giving a guy built only to be a thematic device a personality and a history and deep gut-wrenching grief' of it all. the 'you are in love with a guy who is doomed by the narrative and despite your best efforts it means that he is a personification of all the grief you carry inside of you' of it all. yancy becket you will live forever in my heart tendo choi you will ALWAYS be famous. augh. yeah i picked right

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hmm probably something about the way you look tonight, my mallorytanner thesis statement fic, the genesis of which was genuinely a life-altering event to me. i was listening to the titular elton john song walking home from a general chemistry exam in the snow and i was struck so violently with An Image for truly the first time in my life. truly not ONCE before that moment had that happened to me. this was in my freshman year of college this fic has existed in various forms for going on FIVE YEARS. will it ever be done. GOD i fucking hope so. i actually do hold out hope for that one.

the one i am actually hopeless on ever finishing is orogenesis, the sprawling expanded stemverse pianjeong backstory au fic. the whole structure of it is quite clear in my head actually. i just didn't have the life experience to create the plot structure to go with the emotional beats when it generated itself in my mind in 2020-21 and now that i DO have it the problem is that the inciting event is incredibly clear to me and yet bears too close of a resemblance to. personal events and horrors. for me to ever finish it! i'll think about it forever though. creating and writing that au changed my life for real it was the longest thing i'd ever written and the best when i wrote it and it's still very close to my heart.

16. What are your writing strengths? characterization and character development baby. evocative use of metaphor in descriptions of both character and setting. lavish description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? PLOT. cant create that from my brain and i rarely attempt it. i have plenty of stuff to write about that does not require it. relatedly not great at worldbuilding.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? generally don't do it much except for a stray word or two. i don't mind reading it though! tolkien fic writers who translate full sentences you are god's strongest soldiers.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ough this one will be embarrassing. entering the archive pseud. wait is it also tolkien that's funny. life is a circle in some ways. this is first fandom on my ao3 account btw. the VERY first one i wrote for...i will take that knowledge to the grave.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ah i feel like my answer for this one changes every time but i can't help it, i love many of my darlings equally. this time im giving the spotlight to life holds onto you, my chris pike & jim kirk post-star trek 2009 fic that is a few thousand words of 'what if your sort of son feared that you thought he was taking everything you ever wanted from you and he is right that you have thought that but you are learning how wrong you are.' i cried in the university library writing it and reread it recently and remembered it was good. recency bias baby

tagging the usual suspects @potatoesandsunshine @aaronstveit

#.txt #tag game #this was so fun thank you

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