#AND IDK IF ANYONE ELSE HAS HAD THIS THOUGHT

[kiestrokes]

Day 22: Jung Wooyoung | NSFW

▸ Idol: Jung Wooyoung of ATEEZ ▸ Rating: NSFW. Mature (18+) Minors DNI. ▸ Genre: active WIP, foreplay, sexual tension, feelings, slice of life. ▸ Vibe: this was the first ever fic idea that I had for ATEEZ back in 2023, I just was trying to find a plotline for it, aside from just a WooSan!threesome. College bestie Woo, hot neighbor San, eventual smut. Parts are loosely based on my funny irl experiences of my 20's. And I mean loosely, I didn't fuck any of my friends. ▸ Warnings: language, miscommunications, feelings of betrayal, bisexual struggles, soft angst and hurt feelings.

Sexually Explicit Content: sexual tension, consented kissing, over the clothes touch of the vagina, cuddling, idk there's nothing really here imo.

🗝️ Note: Has not beta-ed by me or anyone else. THIS IS A WIP! (it is being posted for my wipmas.) It is not complete; this is very much a rough outline/first run through. So I consulted my big three @chans-room @minisugakoobies @minttangerines for the special version of todays WIP-mas. Thank you kindly for putting up with me. Enjoy the king prawn meme edition of this 🤗 full text version at the end for those the photos won't load for!

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.

「 25 Hours: Hard, Soft and WIP-mas Masterlist 」

College friend Wooyoung. You’re in a coed dorm. You first meet Woo making out with another guy and just assume he’s gay.

The two of you go about your blooming friendship with no hiccups. He’s affectionate and cuddly with everyone so it never lingers in your mind to be more. Him sleeping over, cuddling, morning woods, dirty dancing, kisses.

Until you’re graduated and moved into an apartment together. You’re in the kitchen doing something. One of Wooyoungs causal partners compliments your butt and you’re surprised.

Wooyoung speaks up “right? She has a fantastic ass.”

“Since when do you look at my butt?”

“I’ve always looked at your butt.”

You shrug it off knowing how hyper sexual he is. Until you’re at a holiday party and see Wooyoung come out of the bathroom with a woman.

You’re confused.

One of your friends asks you why, you explain Wooyoung is gay.

“Well yes he’s bisexual.”

“What?” They laugh thinking you’re joking, “wait you didn’t know? I thought you two were” they hand motion.

You blink confused and text your college roommate. They confirm, informing your Wooyoung has given them several orgasms. The room spins and you excuse yourself. Leaving on your own.

Stumbling up your stairs since the elevator is broken. You slip on something and the new neighbor catches you.

Wooyoung comes running up then, greeting the neighbor and taking you into your apartment.

You blurt out “you’re not gay?”

Woo puts your shoes away and turns to you confused.

“Of course I am.”

He gets down on his knees to help you of out your tights like always. You stop him.

“No Woo you’re bisexual.”

He smiles at you, “yes silly.”

His smile slowly falls as you stare deadly at him. “Wait- you didn’t- how?”

He sits back, fingers braced on your calf for balance.

“Can we just go to sleep?”

You stand, after brushing his hand off. Wooyoung catches your wrist.

“Wait are you mad at me?”

You sigh, “no im just confused, we can talk about this tomorrow.”

His thumb traces circles over your pulse. “Ok.”

He leans in to give you his usual goodnight kiss and you pull away. The hurt written on his face. He lets you go to bed. The next morning he’s peaking in. You call him over and he wastes no time climbing in and cuddling you.

“I thought you knew.”

“It’s my fault for being so focused on my studies.”

“No!” You lay there listening to his heartbeat.

“Are you disappointed?”

“Why would I be disappointed?”

“Everyone loves a gay best friend. Bisexual is like the knock off verison.”

Woo looks sad, you sit up to look down at him.

“Bisexuals are definitely not the knock off gays. You can’t help what gender or non gender you’re attracted to.”

He reaches up to stroke your bottom lip, “you didn’t let me kiss you goodnight.”

You tug his hand down.

“It’s just a little different right now.”

Woo nods.

Things are kind of back to normal.

Both of you are crushing on the hot new neighbor. You haven’t let Woo kiss you goodnight. He’s sad but respects your boundary. Until it boils over one night and you two fight.

“I just miss kissing you goodnight.”

“You fucked my college roommate but never me, was I not good enough.”

Wooyoung gapes at you, hands tugging on his hair at the temples. Gets up. Paces and comes back.

“You were beyond good enough. So good I didn’t want to risk losing the friendship we were growing.”

You stare at him and then he scoots forward to take your hands in his.

“I never fucked you because you’re so much more than a causal lay to me.”

You nod. You let him kiss you goodnight that night, it’s like everything snaps. There’s a gasp and then Wooyoung has you pressed into the wall, more than a goodnight kissing you. You cling to him and his hand trails down your body. Heel of his hand pressing into your clothed cunt.

“Ahh Wooyoung” you gasp into the side of his neck.

And he backs off. Bracing a hand on the wall next to you.

“Sorry sorry. I’ve just been so worked up about our relationship that I haven’t gotten laid.”

He kisses your cheek and heads to bed without another word.

© COPYRIGHT 2021 - 2024 by kiestrokes  All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

[sondheim-girly]

ok im gonna get my yap on, because Brody Grant has so much power in this fandom and I need to talk about why. Am I overthinking this? Yes. Is everything I’m about to say super obvious? Also yes. But who cares.

Ok so some might say “oh the fandom just likes him cuz he’s hot” and the thing is, yes hes hot, but so is the entire cast? And I can’t think of anyone else in the cast who can break the fandom with one single appearance. I think the key of it is the fact that hes unpredictable and always leaves us wanting more. See, back before the Tonys he was doing a lot of press, both for opening and as a nominee. And then post Tonys, you had a three month drought where we practically didn’t get any content of him. However we were still riding high from the pre Tonys interviews, so the obsession continued to stay strong. And theres an element of someone not having their entire life and personality on public display that makes them so much more exciting. And then he disappears for an entire month, then comes back blonde and posts a bunch of photos from his trip in Tokyo. He then goes on to start appearing in the occasional Soc Saturday after not appearing in one for literally months, then is in sky’s Instagram, and starts posting on Instagram more!! So hes giving us just barely enough content to keep us sustained, but also leaving us wanting to much more. Theres also a level of mystery that’s just super exciting cuz you literally never know what he’s gonna do. Is he gonna disappear for a month and go blonde? Is he gonna show up on Soc Saturday and yell about a guy named Mike? Who knows. Not to mention how… mysterious the post he just made was? Like who even knows why he posted that?? No clue, but it’s wonderful.

now of course this is how he has maintained this strange hold on the fandom, but how did he get it in the first place? Of course hes good looking, but hes also absurdly talented, and a very charming person. He’s interesting because he has this kinda edgy ‘persona’ tho idk if that’s exactly the right way to describe it, but then you watch an interview with him and hes this super duper genuine, thoughtful, interesting guy! And then u see a clip of him with the cast and hes just really silly and funny. And so he has all these sides to him which is very intriguing. And he just has this like- really sweet smile and also I think the ear cuff and fingerless glove combo is something that definitely had a major effect on the fans. Ok ive kinda lost the plot.

also theres something about him having social media and rarely using it. Because then it’s like oh we could get content but you never know when- there are a lot of cast members who are super active on social media so we get used to it, or actors who don’t have it at all, meanwhile Brody can just get on there, say something, explode the fandom, then leave. Hes also very intentional about what posts he leaves up, which we can tell from his occasional cleansing of his account. Idk what my point is here but I wanted to say something about this

anyways this is my yap. It’s unedited and completely chaotic but I hope y’all enjoyed it.

[itzstarzwrld]

Since no one asked, I'mma yap about my au

(idk why I'm putting this here but just in case anyone gets confused: (name) = reader)

pt. 1 pt. 2

pls ignore how bad the pic is 🙏🏾😭

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

In this au, it takes place somewhere in the middle/end where the events do happen but there's a twist:

Bee is a whoops baby

(name) and Optimus already have a kid of their own

Elita-1 and (name) have slight beef with each other

And in this post, I'm gonna break this down and explain as best as I can.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

I'm gonna start with:

"Who is Striker?"

Striker is the kid of Optimus and (name).

"Why'd you give them a kid?"

To try and make the story sound a little more interesting(???). And as I was making this I thought "hmm, wouldn't it be nice if reader and OP had a sparkling so that way the drama was a little bit more complicated?"

"What is Striker's gender/ what do they look like?"

Well I'm glad you asked! even tho I can't draw, Striker is a femme that took more of (name)'s personality but mostly has Optimus' frame (and colors but Striker has (name)'s optics).

"How'd you come up with the name?"

I came up with it as I was making the picture and after like 30 minutes of thinking "alright, fuck it we calling 'em Striker"

"How old is Striker?"

I would say that Striker is about 4-5 (or 6) during the events while only being one year older than Bee.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"What is the beef between (name) and Elita-1/how did it start?"

After the events in the fic (name) is angry at Elita because:

She never knew one of her closest friends would be in a secret relationship with her supposed lover

(name) believes that its mostly Elita's fault for allowing Optimus to just swoon her into dating him.

On Elita's side of the story:

She really doesn't do anything about it because she knows those things are true and now their relationship is strained because of her actions (same thing with Optimus).

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"What is Optimus' relationship with Striker and Bee?"

even though after the whole incident and basically divorcing w/ (name) Optimus decided that even though they split, he still wanted to be part of Striker's life and at least try to be a father figure.

As for Bee, he's mostly there with him more than he is with Striker (but he doesn't realize that because he's trying so hard to be a father figure to the both of them) and it makes (name) really upset making them think that he's only with Bee because it's his and Elita's kid.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"Does (name) stay with the Autobots?"

Even though she is angry at Optimus and Elita (name) decided to stay with The Autobots and doesn't join the Deceptions for the sake of Striker.

"Does (name) end up being with someone else?"

Yes and No. After the incident and everything happening, (name) doesn't focus on finding someone else, they focus on Striker and being with The Autobots but they sometimes do get a bit flirty with Ratchet.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑟𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑎𝑢!!! 𝑙𝑚𝑘 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑢𝑦𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘!!! :)

[percytheboykisser]

hey guys! thought i've had for a while! so you know how miles 42 was supposed to be spider-man? and how his dad is dead? and how it says captain on his dads art memorial? what if that was Miles's 42 canon event..like even though he's not spider-man in that universe canon events are still happening to him as if he was? idk! just a thought! maybe i'm just bonkers😂😂😂

[crybaby-bkg]

Trainer Bakugou who you're a little terrified of the first day you're paired with him. when asking for a trainer at the gym, you had expected the friendly redhead who always looked so sweet and encouraging and cut as hell. you weren't expecting his grumpy looking blond counterpart, who was all glares and shouts for his clients to keep pushing themselves.

you were hesitant at first, before you quickly realized that it was all a ruse, for the most part. he pushed those who needed that extra encouragement, but was more lenient to people like you who simply wanted a professionals guidance. so, after a few weeks, you liked him for the most part, and his looks damn sure made it easier to cozy up to the big guy.

the only issue you've been having with Bakugou though are the...coregasms, as you've seen them been named on social media, that you keep experiencing. the first time, you weren't sure what it was, why your stomach and pelvis kept tightening up. you couldn't have...climaxed, or anything. you hadn't even been touched!

but, as the weeks go by, and the workouts get more strenuous, they've become harder and harder to subside and ignore, and so had Bakugou's commands to keep going when you suddenly stopped. you can only lie and say its cramps so many times before he realizes that something is up.

you're midway through a good morning, when that familiar feeling starts tightening in the pit of your gut. you clench your eyes shut, shaking your head a little, as if you could ward off the impending feeling. bakugou notices though, frowning at your almost pained expression in the mirror, walking up behind you to stop you as you pull yourself back up. his hands are on your waist, and as you come up, you feel his bulge glide over the curve of your ass, and something in you snaps.

you gasp, buckling over, one hand on your knee as the other reaches back for bakugou's hand to keep you up as your thighs shake. you can feel yourself spasming, clenching and unclenching around nothing, secretly wishing you had something that could fill you up, something that you felt throb against you as bakugou leaned over your form.

"Another coregasm, huh?" he asks you lowly, his lips brushing your ear as you bite your bottom lip to hold back your moan. your eyes buck open though, when his words sink in, head tipping back to look at him in the mirror, only to find his gaze already on you.

"You knew every time?" you ask quietly, panting now that its finally starting to pass over you. but bakugou doesn't let you up from this position, especially since the area you're in seems to be desolate for now.

"It's hard to ignore how pretty you look when you cum, sweetheart." Bakugou seals his words with a firm press to your ass, his cock rubbing the seam, and you can practically feel the heat and veins of it through your thin bottoms. you groan under your breath, getting lost in the feeling of him grinding against you, when he suddenly speaks again.

"You still feel it?" he asks, voice low as he looks at you through his lashes. you nod, biting at your bottom lip as you meet the steady rock of his hips, watching how he smiles before slotting his lips against your ear.

"Want me to help make it go away?" and he does, in the employee locker room after hours. he makes it go away, and rebuild, and go away again and again until you're hoarse and your legs are weaker than they typically are on leg day. bakugou helps the ache go away, but not for that sweet redheaded coworker of his, whose fists have fucked his cock the entire time of watching bakugou rail you over the locker room bench again and again.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here 😭😭 the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being 😭😭😭 people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad 😭😭 someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???

you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"

[dykedvonte]

(abt my last ask) thank you for the answer, your understanding of charas is trully stellar!

I wanted to ask, what's your take on recovery!au (unless you intend to cover it in your fic)? In the universe, where Jimmy happens, but the crew somehow survives. Everyone is traumatised, Anya is pregnant, Curly is disabled (could he even be able to afford disability aids? Pony express in no more, would they even be paid a sufficient compensation?). There is also a question of p*lice investigation (or whatever agency is responsible for space crimes), even more trauma... Man, it's bleak.

-💀

I like them sad but for emotional and physical recovery reason rather than all the actual legal stuff that would ensue.

I like when Swansea relapsing is explored and Daisuke losing a little bit of his light. I am clearly a big supporter of Anya and Curly remaining close friend after but I think exploring the unhealthy dynamics of the trauma bond they’d develop should be played with way more. I think it’s a bit annoying when people are on the nose about Anya telling Curly he should’ve done more, especially when he’s struggling through recovery.

I feel like people really want her to be a character to rub salt into wounds, just to give her something cathartic, but it’s just OOC for me. It’s not a kindness thing but I don’t think she wants that sort of guilt to stay with him like that? He did not do what Jimmy did, he could’ve done more to stop it but she would not intentionally try to direct what she can never take out towards Jimmy at Curly. At least when they all make it out. This is not to say she doesn’t think he shouldn’t have any remorse but she understands that no one else could have foreseen Jimmy crashing the ship or getting that bad.

I like when it gets psychoanalytic in fics with the crew. Talk about Curly finally opening up on details on how he and Jimmy were friends, have the others realize how bad Jimmy was to even Curly, not a lot of people realize that they don’t know how Jimmy was to him. Have Anya be angry and snippy, have her worry she’s becoming like Jimmy even though she could never be like him, it’s that fear though, that she is owed that cathartic release and may take it out on others in some selfish subconscious desire to reclaim control for herself. Have her actualize-herself, is med school the only option? What does she want now? Does Swansea divorce his wife, give up on the life he created because he was just following the path of a good man, one he didn’t believe? Or does he stay and use the time he has left to make it something he believes in. How is Daisuke? Is he more mature or does he lose a little light? What are his new aspirations if any? His relationship with his parents?

Ultimately, I think a recover au should really focus on just them actually getting to know each other and filling themselves. So much of their interactions were likely based on coworker dynamics first. With that out the window they are now people who can’t really move on from each other but need to move on in life.

[ghostlycleric]

Thinking about how a long time ago the Stranger Things official account labeled the van scene “the most heartfelt ever”.

…

The most HEARTfelt ever. The most heartFELT ever. STOP IT. “The Heart” (Mike) felt it. This was the most Mike has ever felt.

They could’ve said sincere or any other synonym. That’s hilarious if that was on purpose.

Disclaimer: I know this is cornplating. I’m just really bored.

[defsiarte]

Thinking about my current situation at home. Ignoring the obvious answer of “bigotry/ignorance”, do you guys think homo/transphobic parents are so indignant because they have a set image in their minds of what a queer person is/does, and can’t fathom that they may not know their kid as well as they think they do?

[danothan]

tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things

[dollypopup]

penelope, intentions, privacy, and the infantalization of innocence

or: a call to see Penelope as the complicated character she actually is

there has been, for some good time now, a sense in the general fandom space that hinges on Penelope being a perfect angel who did everything she did out of altruism, or a feeling of separating or minimizing her actions through Whistledown, divorcing her from her decisions (in the classic 'she had no choice' or 'no one listened to her as Pen' fabrications). and i am here to, once again, beg for a nuanced look at her, and in particular those who cared for her whom she hurt deeply

let's dig in

Lady Whistledown is Penelope's coping mechanism, and it is clear from the first article she wrote. Penelope is posturing, putting on a front. This first article is the root of her intentions, the core of what she hopes for, and the mold for which she wishes to be. Just read some of these lines

I know people better than they know themselves. I can see what is happening behind closed doors better than those behind them.

This is an act, a falsity. Penelope *doesn't* know more about people than they know about themselves. How could she? She is largely ignored by the general populace. She wrote this article before she was even out in society. She had little access to balls or information, her sisters debuted with her, and her mother and father weren't particularly popular members of the community. What Penelope knew of others, she knew from external observations.

This is where the falsification first begins: she can't possibly see what is happening behind closed doors, but she wants to. Penelope is an outsider wanting to look in, wanting to look in so deeply that she understands and knows others in intimate ways without putting in the hard work of gaining their trust. LW being published before Penelope is out in the general society is proof of Penelope's powerlessness in the general scheme of Mayfair: and she has a right to feel that way. She is not particularly cared for in her own family, nor is she listened to by them. She is angry. Her friendship with Eloise is one in which two girls who are both frustrated with their circumstances come to meet.

The fact that such a thing could be printed with, essentially, her allowance, is also proof that she is disregarded as she is. No one notices when she is gone, she is, by and large, invisible. As such, she doubles down on the power fantasy of Lady Whistledown.

Do not try to close your doors tighter to protect your privacy as I may already be inside. And thus I will slowly get inside each and everyone's head.

I don't know about you, but reading that is chilling. Though of course I am taking it with the modern perspective of living in an age where privacy continues to be stripped, there's something particularly cruel about insisting that you are inescapable. It's written in a way that is intended as a threat, followed by

No need to panic, I will be fair, gentle reader

and this is where Penelope's intentions come in. Do I believe she genuinely and truly wanted to be fair? Yes. Do I believe Penelope has a well developed sense of what fairness entails? ABSOLUTELY NOT. And she's not SUPPOSED to. Because Penelope also perpetuates her own invisibility, even in the midst of her pride in writing Whistledown. Penelope punches down repeatedly, but she does not think she is doing so. For Penelope the person, she is 'exposing the truth' in a general sense of hard hitting journalism, but Lady Whistledown, her persona, cultivated a power others don't have. When she wrote of the unnamed Modiste unfavorably, she ran her out of business: because LW has the power and privilege of being heard, the power and privilege to ruin lives and reputations, to sequester people to bad opinions and derision.

And one of the first people she does this to is her mum and her family, including herself. In the very first LW article, she mentions only the Featheringtons and the Bridgertons, along with one other lady, Miss Boltenston, who Penelope writes would be best for a suitor who prefers bedtime conversation as opposed to other activities.

Three misses. Foisted upon the marriage market like sorrowful sows by their tasteless, tactless dear mama-- the luckless souls.

Then, when discussing the Bridgertons, the only people who have been seen as being genuinely nice to her, she writes that they're perfect, full of refinement, "four perfectly handsome sons and four perfectly beautiful daughters. Yes. Perfect, indeed"

but this isn't meant to be a compliment. In particular when we go back and listen to Eloise's hunt for LW and her conversation with Penelope at her door.

"Whistledown is someone free and unencumbered by society, she is a single woman of means, better yet she is a widow who would be invited to all the events but not paid any attention, so while you are at the ball-"

"Eloise I do not care! People have real problems, mature problems, problems that have nothing to do with the secret identity of some silly writer. " "And you are so mature now?" "I am of age, I am out in society, therefor I have more important mature things to worry about." "Like what?" "Like marriage." "You do not care about marriage." "What if I do!? I do not expect you to understand. Not everyone can be a pretty Bridgerton."

There's a resentment that Penelope has for the Bridgertons. She loves them, absolutely, but we can't sit here and deny that Penelope isn't jealous and doesn't discuss it or dig deeper into those feelings to unwrap or unlearn them. There are reasons for it, of course, but this is a facet of her character that often gets overlooked. And it keeps her from opening up. To Colin and to Eloise.

I exhaust of the perfect Miss Penelope Featherington, always the victim of other people's harms, always doing everything she does because she's such a #good person. It leaves the door shut to her growth. Penelope has good INTENTIONS with bad outcomes. She hopes that she will, herself, not be corrupted by the power she so criticizes others for misusing, but she falls into the same pitfalls and that is compelling as hell to explore.

My intention is not to shed any blood but to shed some light on the true events in our society. My words, though might be hurtful, are not meant to be mean. They are meant to be fair . .be prepared to hear the truth about yourself and your kin.

I'm glad she acknowledged that her words would be hurtful, though she hides behind what she intends as opposed to the outcome. Because she absolutely did shed blood, she genuinely could have killed Marina with what she published. And after she does so, she comes back from it still owning that bloodshed, for she writes things such as 'sharpening my knives for you' and hailing her pen as a weapon. There's no indication she wrote to her cousin or offered any support or condolences. She has to ask Colin how Marina is doing, as though she does not know on her own.

Penelope wants to be a good person who does good things. But goodness is not black and white and Penelope falls deeper and deeper into her LW persona internally whilst pretending she is unchanged on the exterior.

There's a line in the book, when she says 'Maybe I grew up' and that's what I need from her in S3. This is, largely, a very long essay more so in response to a fandom version of Penelope than the real Penelope, because the show does show her actions as being wrong. Penelope cries and agonizes over her choices because she knows they aren't good, but she does them anyway because her idea of what should happen matters more than other people's agency in their decisions.

People talk about how Eloise was a bad friend to Penelope, how she didn't listen to her, but in reality, Penelope did not actually talk to her, save to tell her she has different life goals than Eloise does. So many moments in which Penelope could confide in her that she does not take.

In particularly, I think about after Penelope's father passes, and Eloise visits her. This comes at the heels of Penelope exposing Marina's pregnancy to the ton and publicly destroying Colin's engagement to her, as well as Eloise saving her from being caught by the Queen.

"The ones we love have the power to inflict the greatest scars. For what thing is more fragile than the human heart?"

And then Eloise comforting her. Telling her

"I am here, Pen, to help you to find a reason every day to enjoy in the absence of your dear Papa. I know you shall miss him."

to which Penelope replies with

"Share something good. What happened with Whistledown? Did you save Mdm. Delecroix?"

No discussion of how she actually feels, only a deflection, even as Eloise assures her she has a friend. But Penelope already knows what Eloise will tell her with this response, and also knows that she has the wrong idea of who Whistledown is, but she would rather have a conversation she knows the outcome to than spill open to her closest friend. That's lonely as hell. Penelope forces herself to be apart, as well. It's a behavior she needs to unlearn.

Penelope keeps her own secrets but cannot allow others to do so. She spirals in what she perceives to be her own powerlessness whilst her actions have the most impact, good and bad, upon near everyone in her vicinity.

Eloise tells her: "You are my friend, and I do not wish for secrets to set us apart" and though Penelope agrees, she does not confide in her. Even when it comes to Eloise's relationship to Theo and her burgeoning romantic feelings for him, something she confesses to Penelope, asking if she can relate, Penelope does not offer the same vulnerability. Instead, she insists that people already know about her relationship with Theo, and Eloise trusts her, though it's untrue. No one else was talking about Eloise and Theo, and yes, Penelope writing about her as LW was wrong and awful, but a more intimate pain she inflicted was that Penelope was encouraging Eloise away from him and away from her own feelings.

Eloise even tells Theo: "People are already talking about us" when they almost kiss as a reason for them to stop seeing each other. But no one is. This is a lie Penelope tells Eloise.

and this takes me to the final act of it all: People DO listen to Penelope. The people who MATTER listen to her and encourage her. There are constant discussions of how Eloise does not listen or how Colin didn't listen, but looking back at those conversations and interactions: Eloise and Colin listen to Penelope very closely, in fact.

Eloise repeats things Penelope says to her, trusts what she says. Yes, she is often talking to Penelope and 'using her as a sounding board' because that is what friends do. Balance comes when both parties do so. Penelope does not do the same back. She does not discuss, she does not say what she means, what she feels, what she believes.

And she does the same to Colin. Colin who wrote her letters for months. Colin who recognizes her intentions. Colin who talks to her about his hopes and plans, an action she does not reciprocate up until S2 when they talk after the botched wedding. Even when Colin asks how she's been after they meet for the first time that season, she lies and says it's all fine. This comes from an assumption from her that he doesn't care about her because he doesn't love her romantically, but Colin obviously cares a lot for Pen. Even in S1 he cares about her deeply and earnestly. I don't understand the narrative of him not listening to her, because I think he listens to and hears her more than almost anyone else does.

Even in this conversation

"I believe you deserve to know" "Is there something on my face? Has it been there all evening? It has hasn't it? Sorry, go on." "I have wanted to talk to you since the engagement was announced but we have always been in company" "So this is something about Marina?" "Her heart belongs to another." "What?" "His name is Sir George Crane, he is a first son, a soldier, they rent the neighboring properties in the country, I am sorry Colin, but I have seen their love letters. I thought you should know before it is too late." "You really are very good, you know that? Do you think that I would care she had fond feelings for another before we met? It would be rather rich of me considering I've flirted with half the girls in London at one point or another." "No, you misunderstand, this was no mere flirtation, Marina loves this man, she loves him still." "And yet she is marrying me."

This conversation is often cited as proof that Colin doesn't listen to her, but reading it: he is listening very clearly. She told him Marina loved someone else before, he replied that it doesn't matter (can we take a moment to applaud him for this, also? that's a really mature response from him) and then when she tries to clarify, she does so by telling him that she loves someone else. But that's not what she actually wants to say.

What she's saying is to dissolve the engagement and she believes Colin the kind of person who would cut ties with someone who loved someone else before, but he isn't. It's not that he isn't listening to her, it's that he IS and he isn't responding in the way she wants. This scene is ALSO Colin asking Penelope to understand him, to understand his choices, to support him as well. He ends this conversation with a plea: Trust me, Pen, do not fret. Asking for her to take him seriously. Instead of trusting him, trusting him to his decisions, trusting him with the truth, she instead takes matters back into her own hands.

Because what she publishes is

"As if the Featheringtons did not have enough to be dealing with, Miss Marina Thompson is with child. And she has been from the very first day she arrived in our fair city."

That is HEAPS different from what she talked to Colin about, but it solidifies her innocence to him, because at the core of it, she wants PARTS of what Whistledown is, but not all of it. She WANTS Colin to see her as good and she wants to have a soft love story with him, all at the cost of who she actually is. She sanitizes herself for Colin because she does not understand or cannot face that he already has affection for her as she already is, that she can trust him for who HE is. He isn't in love with her (yet) because she hasn't shown him who she is in her entirety, but he DOES love her, regardless.

(Which I think is so beautiful. Here is a person who refuses time and time again to be open and vulnerable (because of her own trauma and complications, no shade, we've all been there) and yet he sees that she's special and keeps opening the door for her to talk to him. Let it never be said that Colin doesn't have a special place for her in his heart, regardless of a SINGULAR comment of his that she heard out of context)

Colin and Eloise are constantly asking how she's doing, constantly leaning in to see what she says, and the brief moments in when she confides in them, they obviously keep it close and recognize those moments as being special. It's Penelope who has to contest with the mortifying ordeal of being known: and that is her character arc. Her character arc is not that she did nothing wrong because no one else would listen, they do, but even when they don't (and Marina doesn't HAVE to listen to her about dissolving the engagement. Marina had to look out for her own wellbeing and the wellbeing of her future family and she had every right to considering everyone proved to her that no one else will) Penelope has Eloise and Penelope has Colin, two people who care deeply for her. Who she has written about and betrayed trust in. Who she needs to apologize to and make amends. And no, an apology is not 'I'm sorry, but I did it because X', Eloise didn't want excuses from Pen, she wanted accountability, and she was right to demand it.

Because the beautiful thing is that we have ALL hurt our friends, we have all been the bad friend, and we have all fucked up immensely, and such things make us human and capable of change, something Penelope is continuously denied as a character in the uwu perfect baby narrative that gets cultivated.

I think this quote sums up her dissonance very well

"Perhaps I will come forward one day, though you must know dear reader, that decision should be left entirely up to me."

at the end of it, this is a conversation about trust and agency. Penelope upholds her own privacy, her own right to secrecy, and denies everyone else the same, including people who adore her. Colin and Eloise and Marina all become villains in this light as opposed to what they actually are: People with their own wants and dreams who also deserve their own right to privacy. And my personal hope is that with who LW is in the show, Penelope recognizes that she doesn't need that persona as a coping mechanism. Not in her friendship with Eloise and not in her romance with Colin. She does not need LW to be heard because she *is* heard. She only needs to say what she really means.

In her very first article, Penelope writes

"Hiding behind this paper is a brave person who can protect herself with a pen."

but when Eloise tells her she is "Sequestered here in this very room, writing your secret little scandal sheet, tarnishing everyone in town, all because you are too scared to stand up for yourself in reality" she takes that to heart and gets defensive and furious because at the core of things, it's TRUE. it hurt her *because* it was true. Penelope does NOT stand nor speak up for herself in the light, only in her writing. and it doesn't have to be that way.

her character arc is growing to the point where she can do so. where she no longer needs LW to speak on her opinions or how she feels, where she doesn't rely on it. her character arc IS to become brave. people ALREADY like her. they already see her insight as valuable. LW is a coping mechanism Penelope used because she thought no one else listened, but they prove her wrong and she has to grapple with that. she is loved and she needs to learn to accept it. she is loved and she did bad things. she can make mistakes and still be loved. she can own what she's done and know she is surrounded by people who care for her to the point of accountability.

and isn't that just so much more satisfying?

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here

[hwanwooyoung]

I hate work

[butmakeitgayblog]

Spoiler? for fear the walking dead. if you care about that? Alycia did it again 💀 I’m not sure about anything else that happened since she left but apparently her character finally reunited with her mother

Baby I seen, and she looks fine as fuck

I haven't seen exactly what happens entirely cuz people are being slow posting clips but it's fine cuz I'm,,, pretty sure it's offensively nonsensical plot wise anyway, but whew. Damn Alycia, back at it again. Girl will do community service for all the busted ass shows of her past and I suppose I respect that. Loyalty and all that

[drinking-tea-at-parties]

If I had a nickel for every time I shipped a sad, self-destructive alcoholic with a dry-witted no-nonsense lieutenant with a gun want to dismantle the militant non-democratic government they work for set it fantasy Europe... I'd have two nickles but it's weird it happened twice

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal