#AND I'M NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT SORRY OKAY

[causenessus]

hi! i'll keep this short

i came to the realization everytime i've disappeared from tumblr to "take a break" i never really have because of other things going on in my life (which, duh, this isn't my whole life) but! i also realized that if i never actually take the time to recover and rest and think about things i should be writing i'll never feel better. so! i'm (once again)(but now more formally) going on hiatus until maybe may! i might pop in for spring break or earlier if i feel like it, but until then, not really any writing from me! with that being said, i'll still be around, doting on my moots (i.e. like, dorothea <3 wyr <3 and bug <3) because i love them so much and i will probably also post chapters of present ever so often! the reason being (i'm going to try to make this make sense but it may only make sense to me but i'm aware of how contradicting i am to me five seconds ago when i said i need to take a break from writing) present is a very personal fic for me that i've worked on for years at this point. what i'm posting now are chapters i wrote months ago after I've read over and edited them (or in the case of the upcoming chapter, i did randomly add it in and had to write it from the ground up last week lmao) but if it isn't obvious, present is a work i'm very passionate about and am just posting in case anyone else enjoys it but it feels like it's a work that is very individualized just for me and it doesn't cause me any stress or anxiety. on the topic of individualization, although i am of course so so thankful for all of the support and people that follow me, i do sort of miss when my blog and world were a lot smaller. it's something i feel like i only get when i get to reply to people in comments, but other than that, all the numbers and people on my feed give me a lot of anxiety. the hq (smau fandom especially) fandom or at least how much i'm (was) involved in it has grown exponentially and of course i'm happy about that but it's a bit too much for me. i'll be taking a huge step back from the fandom and any hq works i've written at least in the meantime, but that's not to say they'll never be finished! but i either need to grow to handle the bigger audience that now reads my works or wait for things to grow a little smaller again :) i hope to still be able to read my moots works but forgive me if it takes me a bit or i never get to them! i think at the least i'll still like them to show my support <3 thank you if you read my long ramble! i love you all <3

oh also i'll probably post self ship moodboards and the beginning of my reading list (thank you again dorothea for the idea <3)! but again, I think you get the idea by now; I want to go back to doing this for me! so this is a tiny little goodbye now i'm leaving for you all with forehead kisses and flowers and love notes and mwah <3 i'll see you around!

[rhonissancee]

God forbid I like anyone's son normally (take all of these ramblings as platonic because no we aren't together....yetHAHAHAHAHA)

MY SHAYLAAAAAAAA (I can't spam post about him on my other socmeds because my irls cannot know about me crashing out over this guy. So unfortunately you guys get the blunt of all of it. Feel free to ignore it tho hehe, I just need to freak out.)

+ I think there's something comforting about two artists creating together. For context he's a pianist and I, an artist. He plays the piano and I listen to the melody as a draw. It's heartwarming really, to know that just on the other side of my computer screen someone else is doing something they're passionate about, and that they're doing it alongside me. Both artists with different mediums but ultimately their goal is the same, to share this piece of their soul with each other.

[lemongrablothbrok]

Classes/School Activities I think each member of Led Zeppelin would excel at/enjoy:

1. Robert: gym, literature, football (soccer) team, choir, sex ed (😉), math (the last one just because he was almost an accountant and then I think he almost became a substitute math teacher after Karac died and he was considering quitting the band?)

2. Bonzo: gym, wood shop, metal shop, any other shop class really, drivers ed, "Motor Enthusiasts Club" (which he started himself 😁)

3. Jonesy: music history, music theory, band, marching band, jazz band, sound director for school plays, backgammon club

4. Jimmy: science, history, track team, band, charms, potions, defense against the dark arts, Dead Poet's Society

[kiwi-luminaryofthestars]

02/18/2025 "Fiction and Feast" Progress Update:

God dammit. I wrote like a whole four paragraphs for a progress update and tumblr crashed and completely deleted it. So you're going to get the bits and pieces I remember lol.

I edited one whole page today, look at me go. Yeah, my brain was too mushy for anything more, but I think it's because I'm getting sick. Haven't been able to focus at all (I compared it to Artrax drowning in the Swamp of Sadness in the Neverending Story in my original draft, but I'm too annoyed that it got deleted to try again so just imagine I had a really funny metaphor about a depressed horse.)

I'm admittedly a little stuck on the mudslide scene. Why is there anything having to do with a mudslide in a vampire fic? Your guess is as good as mine, friend.

I've never written anything about natural disasters or even inclement weather at all, so this is interesting new territory for me. Action in general I have a hard time with, which frustrates me because I really, really like writing action. It's some of the funnest stuff to experiment with.

(This is nerdy so sorry in advance) One of my favorite books of all time, "The Knife of Never Letting Go" by Patrick Ness, was a huge inspiration to me growing up for action scenes. If you've never read it, highly recommend, but the way he writes action (or at least suspenseful scenes) is he ignores pretty much all rules of writing. It turns into pages of frantic chaos-- experimenting with where the words are positioned on the page; forgoing punctuation; bolding, italicizing, and even changing the fonts of some words-- and I take MASSIVE inspiration from him when I write (though dammit I couldn't ever do it justice.) I don't really go as crazy as he does (mostly because I'm sure that would turn some people off lol), but I do still very much toy with where paragraphs end and begin, which is something he places a lot of importance on in that book. And I thought it might be interesting, considering one of this fic's subjects is books (hence the "fiction"), to step outside of my comfort zone with this scene and style it differently. But, clearly I'm having some troubles with it. Surely that's to be expected, though, if I'm trying something new out.

You still here? Great, here's more rambling about other shit. Void journal, like I said.

Since I didn't have any energy/brain power to write, I did a lot of reading during my breaks at work (only self-indulgent reading, we're greedy here). I read through a lot of my komahina fic I have four chapters of posted. Uh, don't read that one, 'cause I'm probably going to delete it and either just never let it see the light of day or redo it at some point in the late future. I have a whole fucking 72K words I've not released but it's because I've realized how much I hate it (or at least parts of it, I still really like a lot of the dialogue I've written, which I guess just makes it more tragic.) Sad it took me SO MANY WORDS to realize that, but I digress. And I've learned from a small stint on ao3 years ago with another fandom that I will not and should not continue to release something that I hate or I'm going to stop writing for two years and leave a bunch of people hanging on a huge fic with only 4 chapters left with no intention of finishing it. So now it's just a for-me thing that I can make fun of.

I fucking love komahina btw; that was THE ship for me when I first played Danganronpa.

Anyway, incoherent rambling finished. If you've made it this far, I hope you have a good night. I'm falling asleep listening to this. So pretty, so very sleepy.

[discoreptile]

Additional game card art!

[dandyshucks]

[crawling out of the pits of hell]: happy birfday Gu.zma.... ouaauughh [collapses and disintegrates]

[doubleedgemode]

There's a post that explains it way better than I do but. I'm currently thimking about A.B.As frankenstein influence

Aside from the obvious "concept art refs frankenstein by name, so one could assume the head key worked as her electrodes/bolts" I don't see many people mention how her strive boots are black platforms a la creature's movie depiction's (roadworker if I'm not mistaken?? I probably am) boots. Also yknow they have lil bolts

[ncityzen]

.

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

Jimin: we're not the same as we were when we debuted, and it's hard to define us now as a group because we can't be neatly placed in a single box. life was simpler when we were young, despite the rigors of coming of age and finding ourselves. our goals and motivations were one dimensional: to make a shared dream reality. but now that we're older and our dream IS reality, the things that drive us have shifted and become more individualized, which has ultimately changed the dynamic of the group and made it more difficult to pin down exactly who we, as BTS, are and how each of our current creative interests align and fit together today and moving forward

Namjin: fuck yeah, we're complex and shit, like villains!

Jimin: ...yeah

and then Seokjin made a pun that may or may not have been on purpose and Namjoon encouraged it. then Seokjin got a little serious for a second and Jimin misread him and laughed and blamed it on Hoseok, who just smiled and nodded like sure, my sweet, tiny child, i will take the fall for you even though i literally did nothing, because i raised you and i love you and i know you didn't mean it and hyung probably won't scold me as bad as he would you because i'm the one who decides when dance practice ends

(paraphrased by me)

[verflares]

hey!!!! i LOVE your totk fic and adore the way you write and was genuinely curious as to what your writing process is like?? i’m still trying to get to grips with writing but im stuck in the endless loop of editing while i write so i end up never finishing anything 😭😭

hello!! first of all, thank you so much! i get so ^_^ whenever someone tells me they enjoy my work, words can't express how much i appreciate it now, as to answer your question, i would say.... chaotic LMAO. it's a little difficult to put it into words, especially to describe it because like... how You do things feels natural, right? but umm... i usually have an idea of what i Want to happen in the chapter planned out before i start writing, so i'll divide it into chunks. i'll usually put a little synopsis of the scene in each to help both guide my direction and remind me of what i'm doing as i write. as someone who actually also prefers to edit as i write, i feel it's been a good method in making sure i don't get overwhelmed! especially if i'm having a slow or bad writing day. as for getting out of editing loops, my usual go-to is to just... leave it and move on. i'll do this either by putting a little comment next to it (something like, a very loose reminder or even an idea of how i want the paragraph or interaction to play out), or jumping ahead to a different part of the chapter entirely and chipping away at that instead. here's a little example (from a snippet of the next chapter i'm still working on lol):

by the time i come back to what was giving me trouble, i usually realise it's fine the way i left it, or writing ahead has given me some new ideas of how to pad it out properly! i feel what's most important and encouraging for me, personally, is Progress - and that can be non-linear, too! as long as i've chipped away at the chapter in some form or other, i feel happy.

this is what i mean by chaotic, because it's a bit... all over the place LOL. i also don't do first drafts for example 💀 (but this is also because editing as you go makes it mostly non-essential imo) but i dunno! everyone's creative process is different, and if you find yourself struggling with something, it may just be good to either step back or just chip away at something else for awhile! you may be surprised at what your brain will come up with in the meantime

finally, if i could offer one more piece of writing advice, it's Reading. read, read, read! whether it be fanfiction or published works, nothing - and i mean nothing - will help you more than reading. exposure to other people's styles, their prose, will genuinely help you so much in your approach to your own work, and even ideas for what you're struggling with! and i obviously don't mean plagiarism or anything like that either of course. i just mean that considering what you Enjoyed about that creator's work will help you develop your own, and in the process, creating your unique style and process. it's the same for art and music - the creative process, especially if you're still getting used to a hobby, is filled with evolution and finding out what you enjoy about it. try things out! see what works for you! have fun with it, and remember that you are creating for Yourself most of all. (reggie fils amie voice) because if its not fun, why bother

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Hello.

You and gay-jesus-probably have successfully made me question everything with your view that Tears of the Kingdom is imperialist propaganda, so that's been fun.

Anyway, I decided to share this discussion with the Zelda fans on reddit, and perhaps unsurprisingly, a lot of them disagreed. Here is what they said (I'm Alarming_Afternoon44):

So what do you think? Have I and all these other people just been duped by the game's manipulative framing? Or do they actually have a point?

And if you'd rather not answer this, or would prefer if I censored the usernames, just tell me and I'll delete this.

Hey! Thanks a lot for reaching out, and I'm glad it made you think stuff through!!

Honestly, as I mentioned in this post, I am not super interested about in-world conversations about who oppresses who, because what can be assessed from the game is super vague and more vibes-based than evidence-based. Within the text, of course that the Good Zonais are good and the Bad Ganondorf is bad! But that's my whole point! The narrative has been deliberately crafted so that the zonais and Rauru (and Hyrule) are as blameless as possible (and it's not doing a great job at it overall to be frank; we would not be having these conversations about how offputting it all feels for a non-zero number of people if it did do a great job). More importantly, I want to focus on what sort of real-life narrative it all parallels. Because people make stories, and people live in the real world.

Not going after everyone's throat here, gamedev is hard and the hydras that are AAA game production do end up doing super weird stuff, especially since the thematic ramifications are absolutely never prioritized (and it's also always the same kind of people who make the final calls and push out what can and can't be talked about also). And as fans, we tend to have trouble stepping outside the lens of lore and take a look at the bigger picture sometimes; not as an attack on any individual part of that decision-making process but to just pause, stop, and question our standards, our priorities and the kind of reality (or skewing of reality) the stories we tell each other reflect.

Again: do we want to take videogames seriously or not? If we do, then we need to accept they are a vehicle for ideology, just like any other artform. And sometimes, you push out questionable ideology, sometimes without meaning to, because you didn't unpack your own biases as you did. And it's even fine to do it, nobody is perfect, a 300+ people team spread over 6 years certainly will not be that. But that it wasn't prioritized is, in my opinion, a problem. As a narrative designer, I want games (at least the narrative side) to be held to a higher standard than this. It's literally my job to work with the industry so it can hold itself to higher standards of quality --so the whole TotK situation is quite frustrating to witness from a very pragmatic, work perspective where I already spend my days trying to convince people that things mean things. I have a vested interest here in not having the companies I work for being given a free pass by gamers to do literally whatever as long as it's fun, especially when we're talking about a billion-dollars company suing its own fans left and right for any perceived slight. Nintendo are not underdogs here. It's fine to point out they cut corners and maybe promoted messy ideologies, voluntarily or not.

So long story short: no I don't believe anyone here has a point in regards to what I think is actually important, which is why these choices were made in the first place. If you look at an imperialist text expecting the text to tell you that it's imperialist instead of recognizing a framing used for propaganda by yourself, you're never gonna find any imperialist text ever, obviously not!! I'm sorry if I sound a little gngngn here, but I don't know why audiences have, at large, this feeling that lore and story beat decisions materialize themselves already formed and without any human bias, meddling, intervention, internal politics or approximations (it seems that people can only conceptualize this part if they have actual names to attach to the story, but without clear authors it's like there are no authors and so no bias, which is... a very strange bias in itself). I can promise you that it does not work that way in practice: every narrative department on every big game is a battlefield --some nicer than others, but all of them very emotionally draining either way.

So yeah, I guess that on these grounds, I disagree with every point raised here. Sorry Reddit :/

But thank you for the ask and sorry if I didn't go more into details as to why. The big Why I Dislike Rauru Post and the Gerudo Post might have some more specific rebuttals, but I am not super interested in debating small detail stuff tbh. I feel like it's no use if the frame of reference isn't being understood in the first place.

[shadowglens]

dutch brings grace along to bronte's ball at the beginning of chapter 4 and arthur is Mad about it

[roaringroa]

not to make another post about loving my girlfriend but I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!

[spamtoon]

(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

[youkah]

gonna delete this later because I'm trying not to spoil too much about an insane idea I have but I feel like people need to see my vision for my evil plot to get ahs to notice me so I can be the next miodiodavinci but of the blue freak (ust by narzum, song is idol by yoasabi)

[unamzi]

People always be like "oh I'd try to become friends if I met [insert sans]!!! I'd be friendly!!! I'd be super excited!!!"

Like no tf you wouldn't😭 I know damn well some of y'all would cry/panic n shi