#AND I FAILED THE TEST

[silvertws]

MARK

OH YOU LITTLE BLUE PIXIE WHEN I CATCH YOU

WHEN I CATCH YOU

PETRO I SWEAR

MY GUY.

OH HELL NAH

OH HELL NAH

MF BETTER START DELVING INTO NECROMANCY OR I WILL.

NO

JUST NO

"oh Sabre posted Alux Rising... Imma just watch it before I go back to studying..."

5 minutes later

SOBBING

I WANT HIM BACK

WHY CAN'T THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOYS BE HAPPY

PETRO I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T BRING HIM BACK.

ALUX GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THE PALACE

GET YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN

"I'm sorry I broke your toy"

LEMME AT HER

I JUST WANNA TALK

In Italian and VERY LOUDLY.

Update:

It's been two days now.

I AM STILL NOT OVER IT.

HAND OVER THIS FREAKING PIXIE LET ME TEAR HER TO SHREDS

I NEED TO AVENGE THE BOYS.

NOT JUST MARK.

BUT ALSO ALUX.

AND PETRO.

MY BOYS DESERVE JUSTICE >:(((((((

I will not be satisfied until that mf is dead.

Actually.

I'll never be satisfied.

BECAUSE MARK IS DEAD.

Sabre, I love you, truly, you're great, BUT THIS.

THIS HURTS MORE THAN WHEN ORANGE STEVE FUCKING BETRAYED SABRE TO THEN JUST DIE.

Wait...

Wait a damn second...

SABRE YOU LITTLE- NOT THE PARALLELS! >:(((

NUH UH.

NUH UH.

NO! WE ARE NOT GONNA DEAL WITH ANOTHER SEER AND COLLE SITUATION >:(

DON'T YOU EVEN DARE >:(((

Please sir we can't handle it.

I am afraid.

Update again cause it's been over a week.

I AM STILL IN IMMEASURABLE PAIN.

Update again cause it's been two months:

I AM SUFFERING GREATLY

LET ME AT HER, LET ME YEET THAT PIXIE I SWEAR

Update after idk how many months:

I STILL CRAVE THE DEATH OF THAT LITTLE SHIT

[apatheticsunday]

Cartoons and Cereal

AKA "Dick Grayson adopts recently de-aged Danny Nightingale. He doesn't anticipate Danny being a little... not entirely human." Prompt idea! Might be a multi-part series. :)

Dick never thought he'd be a parent at the age of 22 but the moment he saw Danny's feral little snarling face at the Bludhaven precinct, it's like he turned into Bruce Wayne. In more ways than one. Dick vividly remembers giving Bruce a heart attack by jumping from the manor's upper balcony onto the chandelier, how he cackled in glee at Bruce wide-eyed expression of terror. Watching Danny float off the couch and then drop in mid-air probably has Dick making the same expression as Bruce in that moment.

The frying pan clatters to the stovetop, pancakes flopping out, as Dick swings over the kitchen island and flings himself over the sofa - just in time to catch Danny before he brains himself on the coffee table. Dick doesn't catch himself before he releases a loud, terrified and relieved, "Fuck!" Danny immediately gasps and loudly proclaims sw'ar jar, sw'ar jar!

"I know, bud. I-," Dick squeezes Danny to his chest. His heart is still beating unbelievably fast and his palms are sweating. "Just give me a minute, okay, buddy?" This has to be some kind of revenge for all the stuff he put Bruce through as a kid. Danny squirms as Dick thinks about the next steps: obviously, he has to test for the meta gene, register with the state, and maybe get in touch with Clark about teaching Danny how to control his flying ability. But Clark will tell Bruce and Dick hasn't even told Bruce-

Danny bites him. Dick yelps, dropping the kid onto his sofa again, and thinks this is definitely payback as Danny cackles. Danny reaches his arms up and grins with a menacing little twinkle in his eye that definitely means pick me up so I can bite you again. Dick resists despite how cute (and terrifying) his kid looks. Then, he smells something burning. Specifically, their pancakes, which are now scattered on the floor and on the burning stove coils.

"Ah, shoot. I'm sorry, bud." They both stare at the burnt pancake before Danny starts poking the floor pancakes. Well. There goes the last of the instant pancake batter. After stopping Danny from eating the floor pancake (multiple times, eventually stacking a couple of his gym weights on top of the trash to Danny won't go digging in it), Dick proposes breakfast at the little brunch place downtown. Danny only grunts in answer because he's too busy struggling to lift the lid of the trashcan.

Haven Coffee it is.

He probably should've expected somebody to take their picture, but seeing the image of Dick and Danny plastered on the Gotham Herald's website makes his blood run cold. It's almost like a horror movie. Reading the news article (Golden Boy Richie Grayson following in his father's footsteps with adopted son Daniel Grayson... recently orphaned son of renowned scientists... suggesting a custody battle between absentee godfather and Gotham's Golden Boy...), Dick feels sick. He's never been violated like this in Bludhaven. In Gotham, as Bruce Wayne's son? Sure. In Bludhaven, as Dick Grayson? Never.

The picture is just as damning (and beautiful. Dick would frame it, keep it in his wallet and tucked into the mirror of his car, if it weren't such a violation of his and Danny's privacy). Dick and Danny look like they've lived together for years. Danny, chocolate smear on his cheek and looking up at Dick with sparkling sugar-crazed eyes. And Dick, propping the kid on his hip while they walk to the car, looking down and thumbing at the smear with such adoration that it's clear to anybody looking Dick loves his son dearly.

(Maybe Dick will frame it. He's still going to sue the shit out of Gotham Herald, but Danny's tiny face looks the happiest he's ever been. Double chocolate chip pancakes tend to do that.)

He's almost, almost surprised when his phone starts ringing as soon as he finishes the news article. Afterall, Dick is hardly the only one who reads the news and he knows half his siblings have alerts set for anytime their names pop up in civilian or vigilante identities. Tim's caller ID pops up, quickly followed by several texts from Barbara, Steph, and Duke. He knows Jason and Damian will probably take some time before reaching out. Dick feels a small twinge of guilt for not telling them, but they have a... complicated relationship. Dick has always been more of a parentified figure, solidified more so when Dick stepped in as Batman for a time, than a sibling.

Danny huffs out a heavy sigh on the couch next to him. He's still asleep from his sugar crash earlier, cuddling with his elephant Zitka and dog Haley, as Scooby Doo plays softly on the TV. Dick gently combs Danny's hair back from his face - grimacing slightly at sticky chocolate stuck to a couple strands, how did he manage that?? - when his phone dings for the last time.

This was the text Dick was waiting for.

Dinner tonight at 7pm. Bring Daniel.

Dick glances back to the grumbling lump beside him, smiling slightly as he tickles one small socked foot sticking out from the blanket. He gets a little bunny kick and a louder grumble for the trouble. Another ping and Dick's lips twitch at the hastily added Please. It looks like Alfred beat some common sense into Bruce after all.

He types back K and tosses his phone onto the coffee table. Pats the lump. "Danny, are you up for meeting grandpa?"

It's time to face the music.

(Danny sleeps for another thirty minutes before Dick can't resist bugging him, enduring bunny kicks and tired grumbles. It takes bribing Danny with Alfred's cookies and pizza for dinner to get him out of the blanket nest. Dick hastily calls Alfred to please, please, please make cheese pizza for dinner. Yes, Alfred, really, just cheese. Oh, god, thank you. See you later tonight. They have just enough time to wrestle an owl-eyed Danny into the bath and some non-chocolate-smeared clothing before dinner.)

[chaoticwriting]

Dad strength

Jason: Ugghhh, I can't believe I lost to an old man. Bruce is like 50 something. How is he so strong?

Bruce: I am 40.

Jason: Potato potato. Same shit.

Dick: To be fair, he beats all of us in arm wrestling. And I think he is putting his Batman face but he doesn't even twitch while wrestling with you.

Jason: Way to rub in the salt, dickhead. Do any of you wanna go?

Damian: And humiliate myself? I have self respect Todd.

Tim: Yeah, no. I'm already running low on my energy drink. I don't think I can even lift a finger right now.

Cass: I am agile, not strong. If Jason can't beat him, I probably can't too.

Steph: How are you so strong anyway?

Bruce: Dad strength.

Jason: Bullshit.

Dick: Dad strength is real?

Damian: Is that why you keep bringing in new children, father?

*Entering the living room*

Duke: Hey, guys. Danny's here. He has some burgers with him.

Danny: Way to rat out my lunch, dude.

Duke: You have like 2 dozen burgers there. Ain't no way you are eating all of that.

Danny: You don't know that. I could totally eat all of this.

Duke: Sure you can. What are all of you doing on the coffee table? And why does Jason look like he wants to shoot Bruce.

Steph: He lost to Bruce in arm wrestling.

Tim: And Bruce says the only reason he is strong is because of Dad strength.

Duke: You're exaggerating. Bruce can't be that strong.

-2 minutes later-

Duke: I take back what I say.

Danny: Oh I want to try. I've been lifting a lot recently. Look at this. *Flex almost nonexistent muscle*

Tim: Yeah, sure dude. Looks great.

Damian: Your sarcasm is dripping, Drake. And there is no way you are beating father, Fenton.

Danny: Oh just you wait.

-1 minute later-

Jason: What The Fuck.

Dick: You're joking, Bruce. Tell me you're joking.

Jason: There is no fucking way I am weaker than this twink. He looks more malnourished than when I was a street kid.

Damian:*Frowns heavily*

Steph and Cass: *Laughing at Jason's, Bruce's and Dick's shocked face*

Tim: How are you so strong?

Danny: Dad strength.

[salamispots]

speedrunning a bday gift for bb nephew hjdfgjh

[jaylynx1412]

this was funnier in my head

[incoherentchanting]

this shit is so funny

[ryuusea]

mornings with a math professor…

inspired by this twt

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Jealous, Machine?

Oh you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.

Fortunately for you I'm idiotsexual.

[vineboom.mp3] COME HERE.

Audio source

[egophiliac]

so excited for Kalim to save the day by swiper-no-swiping this dip. you can do it! I believe in you!

god I hope this reads properly

[aingeal98]

More Jason and Cass thoughts (sorry but also not sorry) but if I was magically given full control over DC and could write what I'd want obviously I'd make Cass Batman but I've been thinking of what sort of reaction and role Jason would have in response. I think I'd write his version of "Congrats on the new job!" as a test, involving the Joker and civilians and gangs and Red Hood and a ton of explosives. Bruce failed me, and now he's given up. You're his successor, let's see how you handle this dilemma that freaked him out so badly he threw a batarang into my throat rather than let me avenge my own death in front of him.

So obviously Cass will overcome the traps and the puzzles. That's the fun part to show how competent both of them are and sprinkle in little character moments as we go. But then we reach the emotional crux of the matter, probably laid out as some sort of saw trap because it's Jason. Here I am, a victim of murder. You say nobody dies tonight but I did, and I want the man who did it dead. Not only did Batman fail to avenge me but he failed to stop the Joker from going on to create even more victims. What right do you have to stop me from getting justice for myself? What right does this man have to life after what he's taken from me and from countless others? I'm not trying to kill a random stranger, I'm specifically demanding justice for my own death that I never got while I was gone.

There are two ways this could go. The straightforward route if I knew my time on this run was limited would probably be a pyrrhic victory like the ones Cass's og series was so fond of. Just like Bruce in utrh, she acts on instinct and saves the Joker (and Jason this time) . A win technically, but she fails the test. Jason is once again vindicated but with nothing to show for it. The story ends with Cass sending the Joker back to jail and going back to the batcave, where the old Robin costume looms judgementally, highlighting her failure. It would be the most fitting end given their character molds, all tragedy and conviction and unstoppable force meets immovable object etc.

However... I think the option I prefer would be a little different. Cass levelling with Jason, a killer talking to a murder victim. She has no right to stop Jason from getting justice, she has no love for the Joker but she knows any death she allows to happen like this would devastate her, just like that death row inmate long ago she tried to break out but ended up letting go once the family of the victim talked to her and demanded justice. I think... In this specific situation, she'd just be honest. Morally she has no right sure. Personally she just really really doesn't want anyone to die. Give her one chance, please. Let her try it her way. Not demanding, not lecturing or insisting, just... Please. Don't do this. Let me try another way.

And then what? Jason asks.

In the end a deal is struck. Cass will take the Joker and lock him up, ensuring he never harms anyone again while also trying to rehabilitate him. But the second she fails and he gets free, Jason kills him and she won't stand in his way. It's the kind of deal that leaves both of them mildly disgusted and dissatisfied with themselves, neither of them naturally creatures of compromise when it comes to this specific topic. But Cass is willing to do anything to avoid death and Jason did not expect the new Bat to be so... Flexible? Kind of? Of course maybe she won't actually hold up her end of the deal and when the Joker gets loose she'll try and stop Jason from killing him and he'll get his miserable vindication, but right now this is something strange and new and he's mildly confused and curious about where it will go. He doesn't believe in her ability to contain the Joker forever but he's willing to let her try because her reaction to that future failure interests him. She's given him a sword of damocles to hang above her head and he didn't ask for it or expect it. It's the type of power he never thought the Bat would just... Hand to him.

The conflict ends with neither of them fully winning or losing. They both don't really know what to feel about this.

The thing is, the second Cass let's Jason kill the Joker she's hanging up the mantle. She's staking the Bat on this, because it's always go big or go home with her when it comes to saving others, even someone like the Joker. In this magical universe where I have unlimited power, Cass would lock the Joker in a secret bunker and have Leslie Thompkins talk to him daily, mostly because I think her pacifism speeches and debates in the comics would make a fun contrast to the Joker's evil sadism. (But what about his rights? Doesn't he deserve a trial and to be held in a regular prison? I'm going to be honest I think Cass would be very comfortable bending the rules on this specific situation. Morally questionable but I'd have fun with it. She's going to let Leslie treat Joker like her personal pet project to save his soul because yes she wants him to change but also she's got a city to save every night so go crazy Leslie, have fun.)

And the Batman series would continue with Cass as the lead, new challenges and new antagonists and every twenty issues or so for the first hundred we'll cut back to the Joker briefly if his chats with Leslie can help highlight some thematic element of the current arc. But bit by bit he'd slowly fade away onto oblivion, maybe getting referenced every hundred issues or so until eventually no one remembers or cares about him because there's so much else going on. Meanwhile Jason's got a good thing going as Red Hood, primarily based in Park Row and a tentative ally on the occasion when their vigilante work aligns. Unlike Joker he's a much more frequent character in the comics, and after say 10 years (this is my magical fantasy universe Cass's batman run is going to last for a very long time alright) when people think of DC characters they think of Red Hood long before they think of the Joker.

Is any of this realistic? Right now of course not. It's why I'd go with the pyrrhic victory if I actually got the chance, because it would be the best way to tell the story in the larger context of the Bat narrative. But it's my fantasy DC editor and writer daydream and I'm going to dream big. They're never going to be normal happy siblings, their personal demons will never fully let them be free and the looming possibility of losing everything they currently have narrative wise if Bruce comes back as Batman will always be there. But it's maybe the closest to peace they'll ever get. Unsatisfying and tame compromise that probably violates several laws and ethical codes but whatever. Cass has never read the Geneva convention and Jason's not going to shed tears over the Joker. Let him die relevancy wise if not physically.

[babygirlgiles]

I know that in the comics Matt travels the world (mostly as Daredevil) and even lives in San Francisco twice, but Netflix/MCU Matt has the vibe of a guy who has never left New York City except for maybe like a high school class trip to DC. Like this is a man who went to Jersey once six years ago for Foggy’s sister’s wedding and has never crossed the state line ever again. Him and Foggy house-sat for a law school professor on Long Island and Matt seriously considered making up some excuse to leave Foggy alone and head back home early. New Rochelle is “upstate” as far as he’s concerned. I know this in my heart.

[wolfram-but-art]

practical espionage doodles for the soul

reblogs > likes if you will <3

[wiriu]

disco doodles ive done in my pomodoro breaks im on the GRIND. theres no context for the face squishing, i just wanted them to squash eachother on my behalf. goodnight new york.

[ot3]

sometimes i feel compelled to type up a long post where I super autistically get into the particulars of edgeworth's dialogue in the trilogy vs the investigations duology and explain why i think yamazaki's moment-to-moment character writing is much weaker even if i think the arc he put together was very good. but i really just don't think anything i could manage to say would be as concise as just putting these two quotes from yamazaki and takumi respectively next to each other and letting the takes speak for themselves.

Q: I want to know how Mitsurugi spends his day off. The only thing I can think of is watching videos of Tonosaman (The Steel Samurai). (I Love Micchan) Yamazaki: Mitsurugi is always busy, so I don’t think he has much time to relax. But he’d probably listen to classical music while enjoying some black tea. Or he’d focus on the chessboard alone. Anyway, he seems the indoor type.

[x]

Interviewer: I did start to look at Mitsurugi as good guy from Episode 4 of the second game on. It made you acknowledge him as a close friend of Naruhodō. But let's go back to the character profile, what do you think about the "Music" column? Takumi: He might like ppongjjak (Trot), I think. Interviewer: Pp....Ppongjjak!? That comes out of nowhere... Takumi: Classic music would've been too easy and not fun (laugh). So yeah, standing upright listening to ppongjjak. With his personality, I think ppongjjak is possible.

[x]

[astrometriia]

THE WHEEL OF TIME: 3x03: SEEDS OF SHADOW — “It seemed to [Perrin] that he felt one pair of eyes in particular, someone staring not at [the others], but at him.”

[chaotpayaso]

RITSHO SKETCH DUMP 🎉🎉