#AND I CANT STINKIN FIND IT

[wonderwiggs]

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

OKAY SO

There was this fanfic I think called

Come what may AND IT WAS A SOMETHING OF AN OPRA OF OBI WAN SINGING COME WHAT WAY AND HIS OTHER SONGS

I HAVE SPENT THE LAST YEAR TRYING TO FIND IT

It’s EMBEDDED IN MY BRAIN AND I WANNA READ IT SOMEONE HELP OR MAKE ME A FANFIC OF MY LOVELY OBI WAN SINGING

EL DE TANGO ROXANNE

I will be in your dept 😭😭💜

[dirkspanelcollection]

Every page Eridan Ampora is in.

for your march Eridan editing needs.

+ all his (side of) pesterlogs (for fun)

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CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin

CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does

CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing

CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her

CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right

CA: she made me somethin per a prior arrangement

CA: she wwill delivver it wwhen wwe meet in this game but i dont knoww wwhat the logistics are yet

CA: im tryin to connoiter wwith her here but shes blowwin me off again fickle dirtscrapin landhag

CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin

CA: ok wwell not that obvviously

CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after

CA: wwell

CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable

CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your hands

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to

CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps

CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks

CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once

CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

CA: yeah it does its important sorry but the fate of the race and purity of the bloodline is important excuse me for being concerned

CA: huh

CA: wwell ok

CA: ordinarily id call bullshit on terrible stinkin bs like that but i knoww you dont really lie about stuff

CA: unless its to yourself

CA: but thats wwhy i bother evven talking to you i wwouldnt evven be here SAYIN any of this otherwwise

CA: so did your clouds tell you that

CA: i got clouds and they dont tell me SHIT they hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities

CA: fuckin pain in the ass fuckin clouds

CA: so howw do you knoww then

CA: ok wwell you are jacked tight the fuck into this thing in so many wways i dont knoww wwhat to say anymore

CA: wwhatevver wwe wwill just play and find out i guess

CA: so can you tell her to talk to me anywway

CA: god dammit

CA: she and me are teammates wwevve got to havve a powwwwoww or SOMETHING

CA: fuck

CA: fine i get it ill step off

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it

CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly

CA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot

CA: wwhat

CA: wwhoa wwait wwho

CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today

CA: wwhat did she say

CA: or glub or wwhatevver

CA: WWWWHAT

CA: wwait

CA: did she actually say that

CA: in confidence

CA: can you copy exactly wwhat she said

CA: this is bullshit youre bee essing me in some wway awwful

CA: you dont lie but you do tease and ill tranfuse my kickass royal blood out wwith incontinent musclebeast discharge if i wwont knoww wwhen im gettin hooked

CA: awwww fuck

CA: see im tellin you

CA: you got to play your cards right CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to peopleCA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwwardCA: kan its hard

CA: being a kid and growwing up

CA: its hard and nobody understands

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CA: fef

CA: hey

CA: glub

CA: yeah

CA: hm

CA: wwhat

CA: nothins on my mind wwhy cant i just fuckin talk and glub at you for a reason i dont havve

CA: wwell fine but you dont wwant to hear it CA: uhuh wwhatevverCA: yeah wwell ok since wwe are the PALEST OF PALS A GUY COULD EVVER ASK FOR

CA: i wwill tell you

CA: evven though you wwill only humor me as usual since you dont agree wwith my agenda

CA: any of my agendas really

CA: none of the agendas

CA: none of them

CA: see

CA: more condescension

CA: you are goin to make a hell of an empress

CA: so

CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance

CA: it isnt wwrong

CA: im not going to explain it to you again

CA: at this point all you need to knoww is its important to me

CA: and im doing it for us

CA: i mean our kind

CA: nobody understands not evven you

CA: pshh

CA: hemospectrum begs to differ

CA: wwhatevver

CA: i havve to keep an eye on em up here

CA: its all about tactics

CA: history is full of cases wwhere conquerers consort wwith members of the enemy in a mannerly wway before wwipin them out CA: evven goin as far as growwin fond a some

CA: its only civvilized

CA: all your feelins are fishy

CA: GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB

CA: ill glub in wwhatevver dumbass bubbly soundin fishnoise i wwant to glub

CA: ok please lets just not get into the wwhole fuckin fish pun thing again ok

CA: like wwe get it wwe are nautically themed

CA: but yeah i dunno

CA: i dont knoww wwhy she ignores me i guess shes just bored wwith me

CA: wwe had it all set up for her to givve me this thing tonight that probably doesnt evven wwork but yeah maybe that wwasnt the point

CA: i mean you think wwe havve a pretty good rivvalry goin right

CA: or at least had

CA: it wwas pretty fuckin bitter and contentious for a wwhile there and there wwas some good chemistry i dont knoww wwhat happened

CA: it doesnt matter like i said shes bored shitless

CA: i guess im not as good a advversary as i thought

CA: ehhh

CA: wwell ok thanks for sayin so

CA: shrug

CA: maybe

CA: seems kinda

CA: odd though

CA: wwell those are my stupid feelins wwhat about yours

CA: seems to me like you get along too wwell wwith evverybody to be harborin any black sentiments

CA: yeah

CA: oh god

CA: uh

CA: ok fef

CA: this is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS

CA: i gotta go

CA: be back later wwhen its time to play

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[ask-the-shorty-squad]

*They follow behind Kai and leave the Containment room.*

Alright, once we find Ranger we can leave.

He can defend himself. I wouldnt worry about him.

We owe him for this. Afterall, nobody was injured, You and Fuyuhiko got out safely. Waiting or making sure hes safe is the least we can do for him.

I'll meet you on the way out then.

*Kai walks out of the office.*

Right.. Now to find Ranger.

"Already here!"

So my plan was a great success!

What'd I tell you fuckers? I knew it'd work better than your stinkin' plans!

...Kai already left?

Meh, it's fine. I'll get a chance alone with him eventually. He cant hide from me forever.

Lets just get back.. Stay close to me Fuyuhiko. I wont let Tengan hurt you. I'll kill him before he even tries.

I think I'm already well protected.

*Fuyuhiko indicates to Teruteru who is tightely clinging to him.*

[peachjuiceretriever]

I CANT FIND THAT STINKIN DETRANS ASK MEME!!! I HAD IT ON MY OLD ONE AAGHH!!!

[geckobrains]

een one week since you looked at me cockex your head to the side and said im angry 5 days since you laughed at me saying get that together come back and see me three days since the living room i realised its all my fault but couldnt tell you yesterday youd forgiven me but itll still be two days till i say im sorry hold it now and watch the hoodwink as i make you stop think you'll think youre looking at aquaman i summon fish to the dish although i like the chalet swiss im like the sushi cause ive never touched a frying pan hot like wasabi when i bust rhymes big like leann rimes because im all about value bert kaemptforts got the mad hits you try to match wits you try to hold me but i bust through gonna make a break and take a fake id like a stinkin aching shake i like vanilla its the finest of the flavours gotta see the show cause then youll know the vertigo is gonna grow cause its so dangerous youll have to sign a waiver how can i help if i think youre funny when you're mad trying hard not to smile though i feel bad im the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral cant understand what i mean well you soon will i have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve i have a history of losing my shirt its been one week since you looked at me threw your arms in the air and said youre crazy five days since you tackled me i still have the rug burns on both my knees its been three days since the afternoon where you realised its not my fault not a moment too soon yesterday youd forgiven me and now ill sit back and wait till you say youre sorry chickity china the Chinese chicken you have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin watching x files with no lights on we're da la maison i hope the smoking mans in this one like harrison ford im getting frantic like sting im tantric like snickers guaranteed to satisfy like kurosawa i make mad films kay i dont make films but if i did theyd have a samurai gotta get a set of better clubs gotta find the kind with tiny nubs just so my irons aren't always flying off the back swing gotta get in tune with sailor moon cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes that make me think the wrong thing how can i help it if i think youre funny when youre mad trying hard not to smile though i feel bad im the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral cant understand what i mean well you soon will i have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve i have a history of taking off my shirt its been one week since you looked at me dropped your arms to the side and said im sorry five days since i laughed at you saying you just did just what i thought you were gonna do three days since the living room we realised were both to blame but what could we do yesterday you just smiled at me but itll still be two days till we say were sorry itll still be to days till we say were sorry itll still be two days till we say wasabi birchmont stadium home of the robbie BWEEUUUUAWWHHHHHHHH

it's b

[weaselishmcdiesel]

WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOWL GRIAN FOLLOWED WITH SOPHIE MUMBO, ALL GRIAN & MUMBO LIKERS' BRAINCELLS ARE CANONICALLY CONNECTED

AHAHA YESSSSSSS WE ALL HAVE THE SAME BASIC NEEDS AND IT'S THESE BOYS

i was brainstorming with my friend and instead of being a hatmaker mumbo makes clocks and other little mechanisms n has a little clock shop i need to think about this so much more yo studio ghibli au fr

[ariondevereux]

Hiii, Nikka! I hope you’re doing well, I’m sending you lots of love and forehead smooches <3

I was going through the Instagram reels I have saved, and because I’m obsessed with your OCs (I mean, that’s no secret) I immediately thought of Lira and Kaidan, and I hope you don’t mind that I headcanoned them.

(https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiDO9HlO9Wa/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) <- this one because Kaidan is actually interested in what Lira reads.

(https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiDPDcpjWyi/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=) <- and this one, like Kaidan’s casually singing this song in the kitchen as Lira walks in.

But yeah, definitely have a slight (healthy) obsession with your characters.

i decided to let this sit in my inbox for days thinking maybe by now i’d be normal about it but god i am not normal. not even a little bit. mila you unlocked a whole new mental illness in me

like it’s so fucking insane how properly this ask was written as if it wasn’t a big deal and i just know you were so calm typing all that and i’m here losing my mind like with kaidan being your character in your story, literally any headcanon you come up with for him and lira THAT IS ALL CANON TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO CAUSE LISTEN THAT FIRST REEL WITH JESS AND RORY SHRUSJEGEUS I HAVE A SCREENSHOT OF THAT SCENE PINNED IN MY KAIDAN X LIRA BOARD :(((( i remember being so hesitant to add it there because i was like “yeah kaidan is a simp but would he do that???” but it just felt So Them so i had to and JDJJSSJEHSJ I CANT THINK STRAIGHT THANK YOU FOR CONFIRMING MY HEADCANON

AND THE SECOND REEL????????? THE VOICE UNFGHHHHHH I WAS NOT READY the first time i watched it i literally let out an in love sigh. the kaidan slut in me is once again awakened…… and please omg when lira walks in she’s not even gonna stop him because it’s not everyday that she finds him in his element so she’s gonna walk in as quietly as possible so she doesn’t snap him out of his own world until he turns around and sees her leaning on the kitchen island watching him with a lovesick grin on her face and imagine if they just got together UDNDHAGSH kaidan would be so shy and flustered and he’d look so stinkin cute and his eyes would probably sparkle and look gold under the kitchen lights HehsheJEHSJWIS HE’S THE GOLDEN ONE FOR ME I WANNA KISS HIM

you have NO idea how many times i’ve read your ask. the second i read it i rushed to open the links and the very little sanity i had left flew out the window. the fact that you like my ocs really makes me so so happy and also sooo relieved that you find them compatible with your ocs like i’m telling you. your hcs legit brought tears to my eyes hshhshsjsksj thank you so so much for these i’m grinning like an idiot <333

i hope you’re doing well too!! i’m poking your dimple and sending you forehead kisses <33 i know you have a few more hours left before today ends so i hope you’re having an amazing day ilysm 💞💞💞

[the-phantom-ender]

Hey! haven't seen you on my dash in a while, so I thought I'd swing by and say: "Once In A Lifetime" by Landon Austin is a Flower Husbands song in the happily-ever-after universe Scott gets with a Jimmy who loves him.

Hope you're doing well!

-FH songs anon

fh songs anon!!! hi!!!

gosh, ive been so stinkin busy the last few weeks. between the end of the semester, a four day theatre conference, and the looming presence of a show that im a props designer and actor for (hell week is this week, show opens thursday). ive been!!! all over kingdom come!

but oh man!! i have thoughts about that last episode from mr. smajor! oh boy!

"A summer rain is passing over And it feels like a dream I could run and look for shelter But you hold onto me"

id be genuinely terrified if i woke up after dying, to find a world where everything was just the way i wanted to be. i cant imagine scott would feel like it was anything but a dream- or some sort of afterlife of sorts. even if its just... somewhere new.

"I'm standing where the lightning strikes I know this doesn't happen twice You must be my once in a lifetime"

could this BE more 'i wasnt supposed to be here, but im here now and youre here and its okay'? could it be more 'everything has changed but youre still... you'?

"There's so much that I have told you But it's all in my head"

how do you go about telling someone that you arent the you they knew you to be? how do you try to recover memories that werent yours? you... dont. not at first. but you know its there and the love in your heart is mutual and it feels like you could cry.

"So before the storm has passed I just want to ask Can we make this moment last?"

scott just died. scott just died and now... things are okay. hes with jimmy and his brother and its... safe. its safe. after the initial shock? this deer bird elf man goes clingy mode /hj. its... like puppy love. falling for all the new things, even if he knows that lots of things have changed.

its always a pleasure to get asks from you!!! i enjoy picking apart the songs you give me!!

[mysteriesmuse]

Like 👀

And you shall be cursed to be apart - until you cross paths at the spot dearest to your hearts . . .

that was what that shitty witch had said right before he’d been bewitched right out of the throne room. One second he’s standing before the King of the Realm in the Grande Hall in front of the most powerful royals and most notorious hero’s from all the combined kingdoms; and the next moment he’s flung out here. Wherever the hell here is.

Katsuki is pissed. He runs a hand through his spiky hair the last image of you seared behind his eyes. It’s you — only 12 paces away — standing bowed before the King in a gown commissioned for the ceremony. Probably the most gorgeous ensemble he’s seen you in; as you have a golden medallion looped around your neck.. The sight of your hair all pressed up on the back of your head from the ribbon — pressed up the same way it does as his grips the nape of your neck to draw you in for a kiss — has his chest swollen with pride. And then Katsuki opens his eyes to this giant-ass fucking-tree with the horrified expression on your face juxtaposed overtop of it as this witch delivers her declaration and you’re whisked away somewhere else. “Godsdammit!” Suddenly there’s smoke up in the air. Katsuki blisters as he frantically scorches everything his path. ————

Katsuki has been busy blazing his path having already figured out he’s been dropped off in the fucking eastern mountains at the edge of the Realm. It didn’t take him more than a few minutes to do quick recognizance and gather where he was. Every waking moment since then he’s been carefully charting his movements from the moss on trees and the sun and stars in the sky. If one could view his movements from up above, like when soaring high above on a dragon, then they could see that they’d need a perfectly straight carmine line to chart his path. It would be a testament to a cartographers craft with how determinedly set Katsuki’s path was . . . and the speed of which he tramped through the kingdoms. Katsuki knows exactly where he’s going, “cant believe what a crappy witch. this ain’t even a stinkin’ riddle or something,” and he’s damn sure you know exactly where you’re supposed to be going. The problem is — Katsuki’s concerned whether or not you can get there . . . There’s absolutely no question whether or not you can handle yourself underneath the witches curse or in the wilderness alone — for fucks sake you were getting recognized for saving half the kingdom from a villainous scourge! but Katsuki’s uncertain whether or not your directional skills, or lack thereof, can help propel you in the right direction. And his question is answered for him as he blazes through the forest magma igniting in his hands as he claws his way up to the peak of the mountain on the outskirts of his childhood town. When he reaches the crest dogged and out of breath he cast his eyes about frantically only to find that you’re not there. Despite the seriousness of the curse or the lack of your presence Katsuki can’t help but find it in himself to shake his head and smile with reassurance, “Fuck. I knew she wasn’t gonna be here when I arrived. She’s still on her way, probably getting lost somewhere on the way. That’s all.” ———— And Katsuki waits, for an entire moon, for you. Alone on top of the mountain. All his childhood memories floating about like phantoms of his imagination. And spring melts into summer with this sense of anticipation lingering in his bones. The curse the witch has placed on him preventing him from leaving the mountain to find you, try as he might. He’s almost certain that would be faster, but if someone wants to test his devotion so be it. And it’s aggravatingly still, a younger Katsuki would never be able to muster the patience needed for you to arrive. But it’s all worth it when he sees your form arrive in the golden waxy afternoon. ———

Immediately following in frantic touches and whispers and shouts . . . it’d been so long since he’d seen you he was starting to dream up horrible circumstances for your delay. All of which you sheepishly shook your head to as he looked you over. Katsuki hands nestled on either side of your head — palms warm against your ears as his fingers subconsciously curled and uncurled at every debunked injury uttered from his lips.

“Thank fucking god.” Katsuki exclaimed. He kissed you fiercely, “but — shit. You look normal. What took ya’ so long?” that kiss sent a combined shiver down your spines as the curse rolled off of you in one huge shockwave. you flinched and grabbed onto his collar pulling him back and back and back until you bumped into the post of his lean-to hut and hissed at the welt on your shoulder. Your lover let out a gruff chuckle and you grinned as he leaned against the pole ushering you in. The two of you could hardly keep your hands off each other. Katsuki unable to wait. “That stupid witch — been thinking about this right after the ceremony with you geting acknowledged in front of the kingdom for your heroic deeds.” you snorted, “are you telling me I was supposed to receive a present after the party?” Your hands managed to lightly tug on his ear, to which he paused in his wet ministrations and looked at you in this playfully drunken daze. Drunk off your skin.

“Are you more interested in doing this,” you paused pointing between the two of you on the floor, “or in me explaining?” Katsuki chuckled leaning his forehead against yours. “You can tell me all about it while I do this. I’m dying,” he elaborated by curling his palm under the small of your back to pick against the knot on your corset, “to hear both.” your lovers smile only grew as you frantically joined him in unlacing your corset Katsuki rolled his eyes before setting the enormity of his loving gaze back onto you — meeting your eyes. “I’ll make it up to you — your reward — as soon as you start explaining yourself. Because I know you’re practically bursting at the seams to tell me your story, so go ahead,” he grinned, reconnecting with your neck. He gently squeezed your calf, “— I’m listening.” you could do nothing but shove his lips onto yours as he grumbled in surprise before you released him and began relishing in the feeling of his hands on your body the enormity of his precise attention all fixated upon you. Katsuki overwhelmed in his fervor — tremendously proud of you and undeniably smitten for you. And as he continued his love making punctuating exclamations marks in your story with a stilted thrust as he barked out his own commentary and confusion; only for you to grab his bicep in excitement exclaiming “right!” Before he continued slowly half-heartedly into the sex as he quirked his brow at a particular plot development. And when it was all said and done. The two of you wrapped up in his signature red cape all sweaty and glowing, you beamed. Your hands absentmindedly tracing circles onto his chest as he held you in his arms. “Now hold on—“ he grinned throwing your leg over his torso, “— you left off on the part where you were about to try that guys new flying device.” Katsuki chuckled as he watched you sit up. At that point in the story you’d given yourself in to the sex — although there would be more of that later; much more. He wanted you to finish this story you were telling. Because after two full moons there was nothing more that he wanted to hear than your voice.

that — and Katsuki had been curiously awaiting what trouble you’d come across as the two of you knew you didn’t have even the slightest sense of direction.

been thinking about how people in fairytales get split apart or smt and they have to find their way back together again and they go to their special place in hopes of finding one another again, but like what if one of them has an extremely poor sense of direction??!

[bansheeoftheforest]

Tbh! Before I did the math I was like "ok this is 1860 something and tgs is 1885, so is Henry a child?" And that would have been a neat line to go with too because of all the children in this game (it wouldn't have made since with that the fact that Henry is in Scotland but shush. He could've been on vacation or something) and they like help little Henry and meet him later as an adult and he helps them! But no Henry just had to be a stinkin 18 year old, You cant do anything with that! That even before Morcant! As I'm p sure Henry was 19

So yeah just sorta fusing the times seems the best way to go XD

Currently I'm at the point where after I just got the Grappling hook! So siblings had an annoying little fight and now I'm Jacob on my way to beat people up <3 I also unlocked the outdoorsman outfit and it has a little hat <3

Also Ban dont you dare make me ship another crossover rarepair ship- Jeks already made me like Jekyll x Higgsbury from Dont Starve- I cant do this again- /lh

Ooohhhh yea that would have been a bit of fun! Especially if they somehow directly or indirectly encouraged Henry's science obsession and then they come back to London years later to find the kid they helped having set up an entire Society for those who like science, I feel like they would be v proud and also use that as leverage to get what they want from him-- I like the though of Evie and Jacob realizing they need a very rare poison/Type of drug/whatever shit they make Dr. Graham Bell do later on in the game, so Evie wants them to just kindly go up and ask Henry and Jacob wants to break in and threaten him. I also love the thought of Jacob instead kidnapping Henry, and Henry being so unbothered and just... Escapes while Evie is yelling at Jacob <3

Man, do you know how fun I had with imagining Rexford Kaylock (the first boss and the guy u get the hook from) as Jasper's distant uncle simply BC of the name?? That was a fun boss battle tbh XD

Hehe too late. I'm going to use this as an excuse to start shipping it harder myself just to drag you down with me. Jekyll x Jacob my beloved. Classic nerd X jock setup, Jekyll having a strong AF boyfriend who can protect him and his society (and beat those who oppose them to a pulp) and Jacob having a smart AF boyfriend who gives him the love he deserves and helps him secretly murder bad guys <3

[ssfghfrrggf]

talk to me more about your tag saying something is up w Casey more than just Brett. bc I’ve got Casey as 100% having ptsd and probably depression/anxiety symptoms for like his entire life and I would love for his reaction to the whole sylvie situation not be him just being dumb but maybe having some sort of trauma/depression episode. And I honestly think that would be more in character of him than just fully not having the emotional intelligence to “fight” for sylvie. We’ve seen him outline what he wants in a relationship several times both to Gabby and Hallie and those relationships had their issues but I don’t think you can point to either of them and say Matt had it easy, that he didn’t have to chase or make a move. And to the note of trauma and relationships I think there’s plenty to unpack about dawsey that maybe borders the realm of more than just toxic but even if you don’t go there I think it’s pretty easy to see Matt’s reaction to sylvie bringing up gabby so suddenly as much more than having residual feelings. —literally don’t even bother reading that it just felt to get out lmao

Im kidding 😂 i got time and i have yet to write a Casey essay, so this is long over due, and i'll probably go off on some unrelated tangents.

First and foremost i'll explain what i meant by "there's more up with Matt than just whats going on with Brett." For the most part I can't really put my finger on it. I said this to my wife earlier: it's like the writers are dropping bread crumbs that something's wrong and I'm picking up on them dropping the crumbs but i can't find or place the actual crumbs? And i think that him having depression/anxiety/ptsd isn't really a stretch to say. He definitely has a very down feeling to him and he just seems off to me. He seems like he's feeling old and tired? When he was talking to Gallo at the end of last night's episode he just seemed heavy? Like the way he was talking and acting just made me feel heavy. I think maybe the job is starting to weigh on him more, and i think what Gallo did reminded him of or brought those feelings to the surface. He's lost three firefighters under his command, four if you count Jimmy. Losing any firefighter is detrimental hit, but when they're under your command and you're responsible for them it's that much worse. I think those losses (Andy, What's her name (that one girl candidate who's name i cant remember to save my life), Jimmy (in a way), and Otis) are really weighing on him and Gallo doing what he did made it worse because he's scared Gallo is going to get added to the list. That may be the root of the off feeling i got from him, but it seems like there's more. Idk. It's really hard to explain.

I think what Matt is doing with Brett i think both makes sense for him as a character and i think him giving her space isn't him being emotionally stunted or even being an idiot. I think it's respectful and the right thing to do. Sometimes when people say they need space THEY NEED SPACE and NOT for the person they want space from to keep pressuring them into being together!!! Like yes Matt needs to tell her how he feels, but i don't think he needs to do it right now. They both need to get their ducks in a row before they can be together and be together successfully. And think him not chasing down what he wants and not disregarding the needs and wants that Brett expressed to him actually shows a good bit of emotional maturity and I will die on that hill! The way he's handling himself over it probably isn't the best or healthiest, but the over all decision not to put pressure on Brett and quote not from you "go get his woman" is right.

I honestly find it refreshing. So many times in shows we get the guy who has been turned down being all like "oh, she doesn't know what she wants. But i know what she wants (it's me) so i'm gonna go get her!" So it's nice that we have him respecting what she wants and not trying to push that what he wants is also what's best for her. I'm beating this dead horse to death and i'm sorry but you gave me the perfect opportunity to word vomit all my pent up Matt feelings

On to the next point about this being very in tune with Matt's character. For a long time Matt has thrown himself into things and really shot for what he wanted and it hasn't really worked out for him. Hallie for example: they broke up because she didn't want kids. They got back together then Matt pushed for kids again and they broke up again. Then they got back together and he probably would've ended up pushing for kids again if she hadn't gotten killed. Now the same thing didn't happen with Gabby. And honestly i'm not really gonna go into that one because i don't feel like dealing with a bunch of angry Dawsey shippers, but i'll say this much: that relationship also ended with a lot of heart break for Matt. Like the guy has just had a really stinkin shitty time with serious relationships, and i honestly think it has him just a little bit traumatized. AND CAN WE REALLY BLAME HIM??? It is literally human nature like deep primal instinct to avoid things that hurt us. The stove is hot. You touch the hot stove. The hot stove burns you. You go YIKES! that hurt! Im not gonna touch the hot stove again! I think a similar thing has kind of happened with Matt. He's been hurt by all of his major relationships, and hurt pretty dang bad at that. For him serious relationships have become like a hot stove, and his answer to Brett's question about Gabby was him metaphorically avoiding touching the hot stove. He did a bit of self sabotage because he didn't want to get hurt again and you know fucking what? That's fucking understandable! And okay! Like fucking me too buddy!

Now ironically and honestly sadly he still ended up hurting himself in the process of trying to avoid opening himself up to potential hurt. We know he wants love and family, and it's what he deserves but he's had such a shitty time trying to get that, that i think its going to take a lot of time for him to open himself back up to trying. He also knows that if he were to start something with Sylvie it wouldn't be a fling. They have such a deep personal friendship that there's no way it could be. And he doesn't want it to be either and he doesn't want to be hurt again. So he's taking his time- he was buying himself time with that line about Gabby.

Looping back to the "Matt did the right thing in giving Sylvie space" dead horse. I think Matt has an understanding with Sylvie and what she's been through. She's also had a pretty crappy run with relationships. She's been engaged twice and hurt ample times. I think he gets that so he doesn't want to move in too soon and hurt her. I think her planting that kiss on him when he went to check on her took him by surprise then he got caught up in it. Then she asked him about Gabby and it got real and he panicked.

That was kind of all over the place and im sorry! But i had to let that all out! I also hope it made sense and hope it answered your question at least a little! I feel like i got kind of off topic there 😅

[stingroy]

Who do you think was the mist immoral character of Moral Orel Clay or Censordoll? Do you think there were evil characters in the show or were they just flawed people trying to do what they perceived as the right thing?

THIS POST IS LONG BEWARE

im bias but clay all the way

if ms censordoll was a real person i would despise her, but in the show shes really fun and interesting to watch imo! of course i dont condone book burning and censorship i just think shes a good character to critique and make fun censorship with, plus i love her voice whoever her voice actor is did a great job. to be honest i havent rewatched the episodes where shes a main focal point in a long while so i need to refresh my memory before id be able to really form a strong opinion on her that i would stand by firmly

clay is an abusive addict with no interest in anyone else but himself, he has no agenda other than to get drunk and be miserable. i mean maybe he’s “invested” in teaching orel because he’s his only (legitamate) son but then... nature still happened. clay often talks about how hes distant from his family on purpose and doesnt care about them so i dont think he really gives that much of a shit all in all. i know he had a difficult childhood (yet another episode i need to rewatch (its been years), im on s2e3 so i still have a ways) but it doesnt justify like anything he does. cool motive still murder yknow? clay reminds me a lot of my religious alcoholic estranged father so i DEFINITELY have a personal bone to pick with clay cuz ive been there.

when it comes to whether the townspeople are evil, i feel like that question really lies at the heart of the show, not just for clay and censordoll but almost everyone in moralton (cept for orel of course). i could go into that concept for the next seventeen years so i wont right now but i think between the both of them at least censordoll probably thought she was doing the right thing for the people in her town. not that anything she did was actually right, but organizing all those daily pickets and book burnings must take some effort, right? someone who didnt care at all wouldnt go through the trouble. she seems to like genuinely care about moralton being righteous, even if her idea of righteous media is completely skewed and wrong. i wouldnt call that evil, horribly misguided and incorrect definitely but evil? im not really sure.

again tho its been a while so my opinion might change as i run thru s2 and 3 again, and im really starting to consider that if censordoll was a real person i probably would consider her to be evil but that might be more of a comment on my thought processes and perception of people than censordoll herself... lol

i dont know if clay even thinks he’s doing the right thing by orel truly. i think somewhere deep inside past his addiction there is someone in there trying to do something for orel, trying to keep him on the right path in a weird and terribly unfortunate way. clay has made it clear through his actions that he will not engage with parts of his family that he doesnt care about (cough bloberta and shapey cough), and he seems to always make time for orel. whenever orel needs to talk to him, clay is around to give his lessons and “guidance”. maybe thats just because his lessons are a crucial part of the show, but i think that shows. some effort? some acknowledgement? that he doesnt show to anything else other than drinking.

unfortunately clay is a sick motherfucker. he’s so rooted in his own trauma and addiction that he cant see anything other than his own pain. and i do absolutely sympathize with that, ive dealt with my own traumas and addictions and you lose sight of who you are and what you value. sometimes people can get to the point where they lose everything they love other than the bottle, and then they die and lose that too. its a disease, and its absolutely not someones fault that they have an alcohol problem.

but clay gives into himself. he makes no effort to change his situation, bloberta even brings this up in s1ep10 when theyre arguing about shapey’s breastfeeding. she tells him to quit his stinkin dead end job and stop being such a crybaby and you know what shes mean af but shes right! all clay does is wallow around and drink because hes miserable and stays miserable because he drinks. he numbs everything out instead of changing his life for... convenience? image? fear? probably a combo

my real problem with clay is that he hurts people because he is hurt. thats where my sympathy dies and i no longer really care about his motivations and trauma. i think nature is the clearest example of that, but clay hurts orel throughout the show. like damn he literally beats the kid with a belt in 90% of the episodes. its just not justifiable to me at all.

i will say one more thing that clay does that i think really says something about him. everytime orel does something wrong, clay takes him to his study, beats/spanks him with the belt (we never see it so who knows how severe it is), and then talks to orel. and orel LISTENS. ALWAYS. clay doesnt have to beat orel to punish him, orel has such a strong sense of loyalty and obiedience that his true punishment is his fathers disappointment. orel always listens to what clay says without question, and clay still finds it nessecary to beat him. it makes me think that clay gets something else out of that interaction like vindication, stress relief, or something of that nature. its cruel, and its selfish. its like beating a dog. you dont have to do it to make him listen to you, so why do it? probably for a reason other than discipline.

clay and censordoll are obvs the two people we’re talking about but a lot of people in moralton do bad things for the sake of righteousness and goodness. like i said a bit earlier i really do think that question is The Big Question of the show, and i feel like many people will have varying opinions based on their own morals and life experiences. the intricate motivations and values of each of the characters in moral orel is one of the things that makes the show so great and so interesting that here i am writing a long winded “analysis” on it on tumblr a decade after it was released.

WOW i completely derailed myself and started rambling for seven hours but!!!

tl;dr clay is a bitch and the people of moralton arent inherently evil monsters but i sure do have my problems with them

[dammit-stark]

Hi! I would love a Superbat fic! Bruce accidentally gets drunk at an event and Clark (who is there as a reporter) helps get him home? Or just anything Superbat. I love it all. Thank you!

okay this was SO stinkin fun I loved this thank you for pushing me farther down the superbat rabbit hole I am content- 1.1k words

- - - -

“Mr Wayne, sir, do you uh- need a hand?”

In Bruce’s defense, he’s spectacularly drunk and unaware of the fact that this very attractive reporter is also his alter ego’s superhero partner, so he winks dramatically, suddenly latching himself onto Clark’s very sturdy shoulder, and says, “Depends on what you want to do with your hand.”

It’s an innuendo- and a very blatant one at that- even oblivious Kansas boy catches his meaning, and he can’t help but smile. Knowing the caped crusader is hanging off him and flirting horrendously gives a suddenly very real incandescence to the night, like a row of glaring LED lights in a stark white hallway, like a hangover without the headache or the fun of the alcohol, like a carnival ride in your chest.

“Let’s get you home, Mr Wayne,” Clark says, voice heavy with his own hidden meanings as he hefts one arm beneath Bruce’s shoulders to better support his weight. Bruce leans into his touch. Clark cant help but think how torturous this all is. He knows Batman’s real identity, but Batman doesn’t know his, he’s stuck behind this mask, wearing a reporter-shaped costume over his hero skin.

“You really know how to talk a guy into bed, don’t you, hot stuff?” Bruce flirts as they break out of the shiny, white mansion and out to the biting chill of the front steps.

“Just- wait here. I’ll get Al- your driver.”

Bruce leans heavily against a nearby stone pillar in agreement.

Clark finds the parked Cadillac and very politely knocks on the passenger side window. His thick-rimmed civilian glasses appear in the reflection only until Bruce’s right hand man rolls down the window.

“Sir,” Clark says, all earnesty and good names, “My name’s Clark Kent. I’m a reporter, but I’m off the clock. I promise. I think Mr Wayne might need help getting home. Mind if I lend a hand?”

Alfred takes one look at the way Clark’s large form takes up most of the passenger side window, glances back at Bruce’s very relaxed state, and nods, “That would be much appreciated just- no funny business, okay?” His voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper, “As remiss as Mr Wayne is to admit it to even himself, his heart’s already spoken for.”

Clark can’t help it, he blushes. He hadn’t t known his teammate had a significant other. And he hadn’t known it would breed such a soup or disappointment and envy in his veins.

“Understood,” Clark insists, perfectly ignoring the nervous feeling in his gut, “I really do just want to lend a hand.”

For some reason, Alfred actually believes him.

As far as Alfred knows, Clark’s could be some manipulative reporter waiting to pounce on Mr Wayne and get some exclusive drunken scoop on the richest man in Gotham. But everyone knows that Alfred knows what’s best for Bruce, and if trusting a stranger reporter is one of those things, Clark isn’t going to complain about it just right now.

Clark does most of the manhandling as Alfred goads a very drunk Bruce Wayne into one of his most expensive cars. Later, as they pull onto the drive of Wayne Manor, said car gets vomited on as Clark dotes on his billionaire- Alred insists it’s no problem, it happens, and Clark feels awful about, runs his fingers through Bruce’s hair as Alfred pulls into the large garage, whispers sweet things that go right through Bruce’s drunken head.  

“Right through here, Mr Kent,” Alfred directs as Clark carefully wraps a tight grip around his stumbling partner. Alfred holds the door open, and suddenly Clark’s making a beeline for Batman’s favorite sitting room without a second thought. Whether he doesn’t notice or just doesn’t say anything is anybody’s guess, but Alfred doesn’t question for even a moment how Clark knew his way around.

“Here you go, Bru- Mr Wayne,” Clark says as he carefully lowers Bruce down onto the nearest loveseat.

Bruce swats at Clark’s shoulder, a gentle grab at the fabric holding tight around his inhuman muscles, and a sloppy grin hanging off his face, “You gonna come down here with me, pretty boy, huh?”

Clark’s responding smile is a soft dejection, “You know I’m not. You need to get some rest.”

“No, I don’t,” Bruce insists, and god, this is such a weird side of him, Clark lives it. He’s so used to the darkness of Batman, the wit of Mr Wayne. He’s never become well introduced to the softness of the real Bruce. He hopes one day he introduces himself for real, but for now all he has is a couple of secret identities and stolen moment, “I can go all night, baby.”

When Clark pats kindly at Bruce’s jawline, he tries to keep himself at arms’ length, “I’m sure you can,” He says, voice soft, “But I gotta go. You can’t see me in the morning.”

Bruce looks achingly disappointed, “We don’t have to see each other in the morning. It doesn’t have to be a thing.”

“I’m afraid it would, Mr Wayne,” Clark says, pulling an Afghan off of a neighboring chair and covering Bruce with it. He stands finally, touches gently at Bruce’s hair, “I should go.”

By the time he’s upright and standing at the door, looking back at the fire lit scene behind him, Bruce is snoring noisily with his nose buried under the edge of his blanket. Clark shows himself out of the manor.

The day that Clark finally reveals his true identity to Batman, the man behind the mask smiles, equivocal and nerve-wrecking as Clark wrings his hands together.

“I know,” He says simply and-Wait, what?

“How long have you known?”

“Oh come on, Clark. Very few people know their way around the manor like that, and they’re all either superheroes or Alfred, and even fewer have a body like that. I was wasted, not blind.”

Clark rubs a hand against the back of his neck, eyes on the floor, it’s a nervous habit of his from way back when, “I didn’t realize you noticed.”

There’s that nearly out-of-place light in Bruce’s eyes again, “Of course I did, Clark, I always notice you.”

Clark can’t help it, he blushes like a schoolgirl,”You suck,” He mutters under his breath, unable to meet Bruce’s gaze.

“And besides,” Bruce says, easily ruining the moment just like that, “Alfred wouldn’t have put up with you if he hadn’t recognized you in the first place.”

“Alfred knew?”

“You’re six foot three and have a BMI so low it isn’t recognizable on the human scale. You’re pretty hard to miss.”

[frankwilder]

Kevin’s New Toy

Kevin was eight.

He was your average boy.

He grew up on a farm in southern New Jersey with his mother, and father.

Since he was an only child, life around the farm was boring. If he wasn't helping his father, you could find Kevin playing video games, or out in the forest at the end of the fields.

Kevin enjoyed going on imaginary adventures, however, there was one part of the forest he was forbidden to go near. That dreaded place was the stream near the nuclear power plant. Kevin himself didn't want to wind up glowing in the dark at night. So he listened to his mother, for once, about this one little thing.

It was an average Saturday morning on the farm. Kevin had found a treasure trove of slugs in an old tree stump near the forest. After finding his discovery, he ran back to the farm house to get the salt shaker. He was going to kill every single rotten one of these little critters.

Now I don't know about you, but if you mix salt, and slugs, you get a hell of a grimey, slimey mess. Kevin knew this, and he was aching to make the biggest mess of slug... whatever, all over the place!

As he leaned over the tree stump, he shook, and shook the salt all over the helpless little slugs. These creatures were Kevin’s sworn enemy! He would kill them all, and let god sort them out.

Each one fizzed like soda, and pop rocks mixed together. He loved the smell of dying slugs in the morning. He played out scenes of a war movie with his salt shaker uzi. "DIE YOU SCUM!!! DIE!!!"

It was obvious that Kevin had issues.

Boredom perhaps, or maybe the old PS3 wasn't good enough anymore. It had lost its luster since the PS4 release, and since his parents couldn't afford the PS4 right now, he would take it out on the little, pathetic slugs on the old tree stump.

"KEVIN!!! YOUR UNCLE IS HERE WITH THE DELIVERY, COME HELP YOUR FATHER!!" Kevin’s mother called across the field, surprisingly audible with the distance between them.

However, Kevins mother was a big old woman, well not really old, she was only 35. However, she was big none the less.

Kevin didn't know this, but Kevins father was what they call a feeder, someone who loves big ole fat women, and will feed them until they are the size that man desires. Kevins mother had reached about 350 pounds, and Kevins father was just not happy yet. He needed more lovin than 350 pounds, that’s for sure.

Kevin, however, like his father, was a skinny little athletic male, and he had no problems dashing across the field, leaving about five slugs alive on the tree stump.  He arrived at the driveway as the beat up red pickup pulled up the long dirt road, over the dreaded stream, and into the dirt driveway of Kevin’s rundown, need a new paint job, white, and fifty shades of grey house.

"HEY UNCLE BOB!!" Kevin yelled, as kids do yell a greeting.

"HEY SQUIRT!" Uncle bob yelled back, and embraced his nephew. Uncle Bob was about 25, and loved that beat up old pick up. It was his favorite thing to bring into town on a Friday night, and pick up a couple of drunks for a good ole time back at the hay loft of his own farm.  You know, playing corn hole, and such.

"I GOT YOU A PRESENT KEVIN, BUT YER NOT GETTIN IT TILL THIS HERE COW LICK IS ALL STACKED IN THA BARN, YA EAR?" Uncle Bob said, pointing towards the bed of the truck. The truck was filled with foot, by foot square cubes of huge salt. Ready to be licked by the lets lick salt cows that were being milked as of yet in the barn.

Kevin could hear the humming of the tank as the tubes sucked on the udders of the cows. Past the truck Kevin happened to notice his fathers brand new 2018 Japanese brand pick up truck. That could also be the reason Kevin didn't have a FUCKIN PS4! He wondered about that sometimes.

"Kevin, you ready to help?" Kevins father asked.

"SURE THING PAW!" Kevin said with his happy ‘lets work on the farm’ glee.

He started carrying the heavy blocks into the barn. This lasted for about a half an hour until the job was done. With the three of them it took quick work to move all the blocks. However, on to more important things. Kevin was getting something, maybe a PS4!!!

"CMERE BOY!" Kevins Uncle called over to him. Kevin, ran over to the drivers side of the old truck, where his uncle had already opened the door, and held an all American can of suds in his hands.

"ERE, OLD THIS WHILE I GET THE REAL PRESENT FOR YA!"

He handed Kevin a large coffee tin of something.

Kevin looked inside the coffee can, there were little metal balls, all the size of marbles. He shook it a little to hear them loudly exchange places with each other while hitting the side of the old coffee can that barely still read "FOLDGERS" on it.

"ERE IS THA REAL PRESENT KEVIN, YOU TAKE THIS, AND BY LORD JESUS BE CAREFUL!"

Kevins uncle handed him... a slingshot? Kevin didn't know if he should be happy, or pissed.

"DON'T BE BREAKIN ANY WINDOWS WIT IT, AND DON'E BE SHOOTIN YER FATHERS CATTLE NOW, YA EAR?" Kevins uncle was firm in his trailer slang of instructions. Kevin looked up at him realizing he was just given the most dangerous toy ever. He could cause massive destruction with this. Kevins father saw the look in his son's eyes.

"Kevin, please don't get any ideas okay son?" Kevin’s father begged.

"Yes Paw." Kevin said sadly.  What he really wanted to say was, 'WHY CANT I SHOOT EVERY STINKIN PERSON IN TOWN OUT OF ANGER BECAUSE YOU GOT A NEW TRUCK, AND I HAVE NO PS4???'

"That’s my boy, go get some old cans out of the recycle bin in the kitchen, you can set them up on the fence over there, and practice. Okay?"

Kevin smiled at his father, and headed into the house to get some old cans.

“EY THERE BOY, GIVE ME MAH BEER BEFORE YOU GO TAKIN OFF WITH IT!”  Kevin was so excited he forgot the beer, but you know old Bob didn’t.

Kevin sure was happy with his new toy. However, come to find out, this toy was actually older than Kevin himself! It was Kevin’s grandfathers slingshot he used as a boy when he would play war outside with the other kids in town. Then Kevin's uncle got it in the will, and now Kevin’s uncle was passin it down to him!

The night came soon, Kevin had shot the entire coffee can full of oversized BB's at cans all day. He had dented some so bad he needed to run inside, and get new ones a couple of times. After hours of practice he became a crack shot, and couldn't wait to go huntin in the forest with it! That would truly test his skill!

Kevins mother waddled in to kiss him good night after he took his bath.

Kevin laid in bed with his trusty slingshot on the nightstand next to his beat up old lamp. As his mother kissed him good night, and told him how precious he was, she shut the door behind her, he grabbed the slingshot off the nightstand, and held it close.

He looked out the window at the old nuclear power plant in the distance. He liked watching it glow at night, it made him feel at peace. Tonight it was glowing green though, something he had never seen it do before. It was purty that’s for sure.

Kevin set his new favorite toy back on the nightstand, and then rest his head back on the pillow continuing to watch the power plant. In the distance Kevin could hear his father, his mother, and uncle come upstairs, and into his parents bedroom. His parents, and his uncle had been drinking all night. The smell of beer on his mothers breath still lingered in the room, even with the window open.

Kevin could hear some laughter coming out of his parent bedroom. This was a usual occurrence on Saturday night. They got drunk, then Kevin went to bed. Then they went into his parents bedroom, and they started laughing. Sooner or later he would hear them yelling, and screaming, but it didn't sound like fighting. They would start talking weird talk. "YOU SURE DO GOT PRETTY MELONS!" Kevin would hear his uncle say.

Kevin thought that grown ups were strange, but put the three of them together Saturday night, all loaded up, eating fruit, and ahem, “cats”, and they sure made the weirdest noises he ever did hear. Kevin just concentrated on the glow of the nuclear power plant, and soon drifted off to sleep.

There was a pounding at the door downstairs. Kevin didn't hear it, but his father did. "Who the hell would come calling at four in the damn morning?" He said to himself as he made his way out from between his brother, and wife. He went downstairs to the door, and opened it to reveal a police officer, and his partner.

"What seems the be the problem officer?" Kevin’s father asked barely awake, and drool running down his chin.

"Sir we need you, and your family to evacuate. There is an emergency over at the power plant. They think it may have a meltdown at any moment. You need to gather your family, and leave now!" The police officers were very serious, and who wouldn't be? They didn't want their asses to be this close to the plant if it had a melt down either.

"Right away sir, thank you officer." Kevin’s father said, then he closed the door, and started running around like a mad man.

Kevin’s father woke up his sibling, and wife as they lay in bed together, butt naked. Kevin’s father screamed something incoherent about the power plant, and the jiggly jello of Kevin’s mother found its way into elephant panties, and a bathrobe. Kevin’s uncle was already out of the house, clothes or not, no one could tell.  That’s how fast he was gone.

Kevin woke up by himself, just as his father was coming in his door to get him. Kevin heard everything his father had said. He also didn't understand a word he said when he poked his head into Kevin’s door making sure he was up, and getting dressed. It was something like, "KEVIN, POWER PLANT, DIE, OH MY GOD, LOOK, BASKETS!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Kevin himself was calm.

He wasn't grasping the full terror of the night, and he looked out over at the power plant. He stood up, grabbed his slingshot, and looking out the window noticed something down in the fields. The cows that were out to pasture for the night, they were being attacked in the moonlight. Something was eating them! Something huge!!! Kevin couldn't understand what he was seeing. He could hear the cows mooing in pain one by one as the fields were filled with these moving, things. Kevin watched as one of these lump looking creatures threw itself over a cow, and devoured it!

Kevin, gripping his slingshot tightly, knew he had to save the farm from these creatures! Maybe then he would get his PS4!!!

After putting on some sneakers, jeans, boxers (Kevin told his mother he needed room to grown, and she agreed), a t-shirt, and some socks (not in that order mind you), he loaded his pockets full of shiny metal marbles.

His parents were running around in such a frantic mess, they never noticed Kevin head out the back door, and across the field toward the dying cows. One of these huge ten foot tall piles of brown noticed Kevin with its antenna eyes. It roared a blood thirsty roar as Kevin approached.

Kevin stopped in his tracks, he recognized these creatures! They were moving a little slowly, but fast enough to jump on cows, and devour them after creeping up for ten minutes. They were giant mutant slugs, about five of them.

Kevin almost shit his britches.

The slug that noticed Kevin started inching its way toward him, it was going to get its revenge for all of the slugs Kevin had killed, if it took all night! At this speed it just might too.

Kevin knew if it got close enough it would be able to jump on him, and eat him alive!

Kevin held the slingshot ahead of him, and loaded a metal ball into it. He pulled it back, and shot the target that was so big only Helen Keller would miss it. She had a 99% chance of hitting it too. When the ball hit, the slimy skin made a popping sound as slime, and ooze poured out of it. Somewhere Kevin could hear his father calling for him, but the roar coming out of the slug quickly drowned it out.

The metal ball only pissed it off, and now it was coming at him like a rocket! Well a rocked at slug speed that is. Then Kevin had an epiphany. He turned away from the threatening slug just fifteen feet away, and ran towards the tool shed.

Kevin grabbed a plastic bag that lay among a bevy of other plastic bags after throwing open the door to the tool shed. All of them read Wal*Mart, Family Dollar, or NJ Liquors.

He grabbed the biggest Wal*Mart bag he could find, and then a hammer. After that, he bolted out of the door. Kevin could still hear his father screaming desperately for him in the house. However, Kevin knew he could save the farm!

He broke into the barn like a snowplow hitting a freshly dead deer laying on the side of the road. He found the salt lick, and started beating away at it with the hammer. Nice sized chunks perfect for slingshot-ting fell away from the cow lick. He loaded them into the bag until it was full, then he headed back out into the field as Kevin’s father continued to yell for him inside the house.

He heard his mother yell to at one point, but he wasn't concerned about them. They could stay in the house where it was safe, he had a job to do.

He made it back out to the slugs, the one he shot had tried to follow him, and had made it about two feet!

These things were dangerous!

Kevin started firing at them. The salt chunks cut through the soft skin of the slimy bastards like a hot knife through butter! Kevin fired away at the slug coming after him! It reared back in pain, its body standing on its slug ass as it roared in agony! Kevin pelted it with more salt, and soon the creature lay dead, melting in an oozing bog of slug slime!

Kevin made light work of the others. They all attempted to kill him, to get revenge for their slug brothers Kevin had slaughtered before. However Kevin was the Slug Slayer!

In minutes he was victorious! He had them boiling over with guts, and slug slop out onto the fields. The battle field ran brown with remnents of Slug. Kevin only had one thing to say.

"DATS RIGHT MOTHA FUCKAS!"

Suddenly Kevins felt two arms grab him, and then he was being dragged across the field back towards the house. His father screamed, "I FOUND HIM! GET IN THE CAR!"

The family made their escape into the moonlit night, away from the power plant, and Kevin’s victorious battle.

In the following few days, it came to be that the whole meltdown episode was a false alarm. However, there was a leak of nuclear waste into the stream.

For days scientists, and men dressed in suits visited Kevin's farm.

They removed the bodies of the slugs, and tested the waters of the stream.

Then they were gone.

Kevin’s father was proud of his boy for saving the cattle. The farm was only missing ten out of thirty, and if it wasn't for Kevin’s quick thinking, they would have lost the whole herd.

Kevin’s father was so happy with him, he did eventually did buy Kevin a PS4!!!

THE END

[allthepandasintheworld]

Well this is who I had in mind for a 10th class lmao As y'all can see I did a lot of erasing... I haven’t actually come up with a class icon yet, so have some empty circles for the time being

This boy here is called the transformer... Bc his wheelchair transforms dammit and bc he’s personally I guess a transformer

Name: The Transformer

Primary: Shotgun (and reskins)

Secondary: Pistol (and reskins) he’s sort of organized like the engineer: mostly emphasis on his melee and PDA slot

Melee: Computerized wheelchair (while selected, the computer screen on his lap opens up); in order to use abilities, this slot must be open. Note: taking damage will lower his speed, with 1%hp being 50% speed. % speed is directly proportional to the %hp left. Additional note: the Transformer cannot jump but can climb up objects such as stairs. Basically, as long as an area can be walked up, then the transformer can go there. If not, then the transformer cannot. This is to prevent the transformer from setting up in an unreasonable area. The transformer also cannot perform crouch, but can duck. Ducking does nothing really besides changing his hitbox. Also, he cannot be pushed airborne. He can, however, be pushed backwards and forwards very easily (bc yknow wheels).  

PDA: Has 3 forms to “transform” into; Offense, Defense, and Support (default)

Form A: Offense

higher speed (think Spy speed)

‘charge’ (M2) ability (similar to Demo’s shields, but can hit multiple enemies at once and will not stop upon striking enemies). Has a charge meter that will slowly refill.

used to move around faster, mostly because the charge doesn’t do much damage--charge ability will apply to quick fix

Form B: Defense

slower speed (think soldier speed)

small hp boost (from 200 hp to 250 hp)

shield ability: takes 2 seconds to deploy a shield that can be placed on the ground (like a sentry) and lasts for 1 minute. The shield has a total hp of 500, meaning it will take 500 points of damage before breaking. Only one shield may be deployed at any time. Shields can be destroyed (M2) by the Transformer and sapped by a Spy, similar to the Engineer’s buildings.

Form C: Support

regular speed (think pyro or demo)

targeted “null” ability. Fires a device at a trajectory. If the device strikes a building, it will disable the building until removed by an Engineer or a Pyro. It will not destroy or damage the building. Has 1 clip size and must be reloaded before firing again. It has 5 ammo.

targeted anti-missile software: 20 ammo - controlled by player and destroys all incoming missiles in a small cone in front of the player (extends 1 meter in front of the player and covers basically what you can see on your screen... there’s some fancy geometry you can do to figure out the full thing but im not gonna do that rn lmao its 11:30 pm). Cannot be refilled by dispenser. Expends 5 ammo in the first second, and 1 ammo for each second afterwards. Don’t spam this shit, ok bc first off that’s not fair and second... that’s fucking busted as hell ok like demo/soldier are engie’s #1 worst enemy and transformer nullifies that damage unless suitably nerfed so that engies cant abuse the transformer’s abilities. Sorry, technicalities.

Random Facts I’ve Thought Of:

He’s actually trans, like he’s a trans boy. The ultimate transformer.

One of his cosmetics is the “bisexual haircut”.

One of his custom taunts will be him doing the little thworp thing with a fan and laughing (you know, like Katya bc I love fans and he’s getting this ok he’s getting it).

He’s ethnically Chinese, and born in America when his parents immigrated over to America (after the 1940s actually or something which lets to my next random fact...)

I have no idea how old he is, but I’ll put him somewhere around Scout’s age. In fact, he has to be either Scout’s age or younger due to... History.

Growing up, he was a victim to the Second Red Scare (the about a decade or so right after WWII ended that began the Cold War). He was crippled due to a xenophobic hate crime when he was fairly young, and has since dedicated much time to renovating his wheelchair (his melee weapon and the weapon that makes his class unique in TF2). Initially, he worked with cheap materials and with whatever he could find.

His older brother was the one who got him the materials to build his wheelchair with.

When Mann Co. hired him, the Transformer was initially hesitant until he realized that the money he earned working for Mann Co is far more than anything he could hope for as a young Chinese American working in the 1960s.

Of all the teammates he’s with, he gets along with Engie the best. Engie acts like a father figure to him.

He and Scout probably spend time together, simply due to their age similarity, but Scout usually has little patience for Transformer, leading to Transformer creating the “Offense” portion of his kit.

He likes Heavy too, partially because Heavy understands what it’s like to be a foreigner in a country that doesn’t want him there. Or maybe he doesn’t. The Transformer doesn’t care because the Heavy is more calm than anyone else at the base and definitely the most trustworthy. He’s willing to talk about guns if that’s what’s necessary. Besides, he’s getting part of his literature education from Heavy, because this boy is determined to get a good education.

He tires easily due to spending most of his time in a wheelchair. Medic has offered some... Questionable solutions, to which the Transformer has refused.

Engie has probably also offered to make him prosthetic legs, but he also refused that. He would rather just use the wheelchair he built.

Anyways i’ll stop before this gets too stinkin’ long, kudos to whoever made it this far

[peachypitwitch]

hello hello!

so....hi there :-)

my name is mallory, mal for short, and i’m new to tumblr. but, i’m beyond ready to just dive on in! 

a little bit about me;

i love love love music

i play guitar & sing...still trying to learn piano but its harder than i expected hah

poetry and tea (or coffee, it depends¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) might just be the way to my heart..

i love art and every little aspect of it. one of my personal fav artists is vincent van gogh

i enjoy writing, whether it be songs, little blurbs, or just an entry in my journal :-)

you’ll find out that i love taking pictures of the sky.. its just so. stinkin’. pretty. 

i enjoy old vintage shops, disney movies, and anything pink

i use emoticons and say cheesy jokes a lot..so, fair warning

there’s much more that will uncover about me, but it is all with time! i can’t wait to get to know you all too! feel free to talk to me whenever you want! cant wait to get this blog on a roll :-)