#AND I BE LIKE LOL I'M NOT GUILTY OR SHAMEFUL BUT I AM!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING AMMMM

[the-acid-pear]

Mental health is so complex I wish everything was easy and peaceful and easily classifiable. I wish everything wasn't a problem.

[astonmartinii]

fresh out the slammer [guilty as sin part five] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x sainz!reader

no court cases, no ferrari PR jail... i'm sure nothing will happen, right?

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,289,405 others

tagged: olliebearman, francocolapinto & pepemarti

f1: THERE IT IS!!! The 2025 grid is set with Ollie Bearman at Haas, Franco Colapinto at Williams and Pepe Marti at Sauber.

view all comments

user317: HOLY SHIT

user318: i hate to celebrate someone losing their job in this economy but FUCK THAT MAN WOO HOO WELCOME TO UNEMPLOYMENT CARLOS SAINZ

olliebearman: can't wait to get started (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

user319: when are you going to recruit pepe and kimi to the leclerc family agenda

pepemarti: y/n has been my celeb crush since i was like 13 (sorry charles) so trust me idc about the spanish guy

olliebearman: he fully doesn't play about y/n, he even tries to read poetry (key word being tries)

pepemarti: you can shame me all you like but i think y/n would appreciate the effort

yourusername: you would be correct !

pepemarti: OMG ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

charles_leclerc: i'll take you in if you promise you're over your crush on y/n, it would be very inappropriate

pepemarti: I AM I SWEAR

user320: i know carlos gotta be sick seeing the spanish youngster freak out more about his sister

yourusername: i fear he has bigger fish to fry right now

user321: @carlossainz55 BOO! did i scare you? i'm a job application

user322: being on the internet as a sainz fan gotta be torture at this point

user323: former delusional carlando fan here! he brought this upon himself lol

maxverstappen1: evil may be conquered but these three and kimi look like prime candidates to join the united front of hating

yourusername: we gotta get them started while they're young

charles_leclerc: i fear we don't have enough room in the house for all these kids

francocolapinto: do we really need the aussie?

oscarpiastri: i was here before you ???

yourusername: we can get bunkbeds?

olliebearman: does leo really need him own room

charles_leclerc: WATCH THAT TONE

kimiantonelli: i'm quite small if that helps

yourusername: looks like we have a new favourite

pepemarti: ????????

user324: see? carlos loses his job and suddenly all is good in f1 again... coincidence? i think not.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,945,209 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, olliebearman & kimiantonelli

yourusername: and the pieces all fall into place ...

view all comments

user326: this is a level of motherism we have yet to see in f1

user327: and mother in a literal sense these ones take her up to like five grid kids and one dog

maxverstappen1: don't erase her cat godson and goddaughter

yourusername: leo is almost fully cat trained ( ≧ᗜ≦)

albonpets: do not even think of coming for our brand

yourusername: which one am i talking to?

albonpets: HORSEY

yourusername: ... okay then

charles_leclerc: seriously?

yourusername: i'm not going to fight a (my favourite) albon cat charles, i may have the sainz last name but i'm NOT carlos

charles_leclerc: it'll be leclerc before you know it

yourusername: (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)

user328: no because at this point i can fully picture carlos having an argument with a cat

albonpets: we're down to tussle for y/n

user329: i'm dying, carlos lost so bad ALBON PETS ARE SHADING HIM

user330: guys are we ready for monza tho? y/n and charles fully back, the united front of hating back, italy don't play about charles... carlos girl i'd sit this one out it doesn't even matter that you're driving the red car

maxverstappen1: at least it won't be me being booed for once

carlossainz55: i'm not a bitch. if people want to boo me they'll only expose themselves as sheep

oscarpiastri: BAAAA

olliebearman: BAAAA

francocolapinto: BAAAA

kimiantonelli: BAAAA

pepemarti: BAAAA

charles_leclerc: parenthood is so precious

carlossainz55: you think i care that these little runts like you guys? they'll be out the sport faster than your other little pet american

logansargeant: at least i'm pretty

francocolapinto: sorry i can't hear you over my williams seat - you really thought that was gonna be yours huh 🤔

user331: obsessed with how carlos has just resorted to name calling because his only 'ammunition' against y/n is that she always wanted to marry charles and didn't want to work

user332: if that's illegal LOCK ME UP BABY

yourusername: they nearly did 😭

user332: oh yeah my bad g

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 4,398,400 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: fresh out the slammer

view all comments

user333: LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO

francocolapinto: VAMOSSSSSS

user334: this was actually insanely poetic, ferrari i'm still angry at you but thank you for this genius strategy

user335: today you are excused, tomorrow we go back to hating

user336: the north remembers

yourusername: never in doubt starboy - i love you, you deserve this so much

charles_leclerc: i love you more, this win is for you after everything we've been through

yourusername: you're too sweet - it's all you baby and the win is all yours, my prize is being. yours

charles_leclerc: so glad we could have all of our REAL family around us today

yourusername: i love you all ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

oscarpiastri: i guess if there's anyone to lose to here, it would be my grid dad

francocolapinto: if you don't want the P2 i'll gladly take it off of your hands

yourusername: okay babies let's calm down and celebrate that we ALL scored points today

olliebearman: thanks mum and dad

pepemarti: did you guys see my F2 podium (๑>◡<๑)?

charles_leclerc: we did!

yourusername: well done pepe :3

pepemarti: hehehehehehheheheheehehehe

maxverstappen1: oh boy got out of ferrari jail and now we're ALL being subjected to the conjugal visits

charles_leclerc: stay outta my business

maxverstappen1: BROTHER 4 MILLION PEOPLE IN YOUR BUSINESS

yourusername: and four million people know my man is off limits

yourusername: @carlossainz55 stop paying instagram models to flirt with my man

charles_leclerc: @carlossainz55 what money are you using for this i had to close my DMs

user337: HE'S PAYING INSTAGRAM MODELS TO TRY AND FLIRT WITH CHARLES THE VERY GUY WHO HAD HIS CHILDHOOD RIVAL DELIVER LOVE LETTERS WHEN HIS PHONE WAS TAKEN ???

oscarpiastri: we never said carlos was smart

f1tea

liked by user339, user340 and 11,943 others

f1tea: the ramifications of the sainz civil war may be a lot worse than previously feared. carlos sainz does not have a seat for the 2025 f1 season and doesn't look like he'll be chosen for a reserve role either with bridges with red bull firmly burnt. however, one of the biggest effects of this 'war' has been on those who still choose to associate with carlos. it's been reported that mclaren have had to turn down a number of sponsors after they asked that it is only run on oscar's car and that lando norris is not seen with the brand. do you think we'll see lando jump ship from carlos or will mclaren become a safehaven for sainz?

view all comments

user341: mclaren? a safe haven for carlos sainz? the same mclaren that houses the first child of y/n and charles? i'd like to see them try

user342: finally the carlando PR spin is dead

user343: they way they both thought that was their ultimate get out of jail free card and now it's like incriminating

user344: isn't this all getting a little petty now? like y/n and charles are together and carlos doesn't have a seat? what's the point of keeping all of this drama going?

user345: tbf this 'drama' was never going away the moment they exposed themselves for trying to use their daughter/sister as bait to further carlos' career

user346: if that wasn't downright criminal then unlawfully suing your daughter/sister for everything she rightfully earnt WAS

user347: yeah just because 55 fans and the sainzs themselves want to bury that loss doesn't mean it's not like one of the first things that come up when. you google carlos - of course sponsors are not gonna want ANYTHING to do with that

user348: poor lando getting caught in the petty crossfire

user349: i mean he was shit slinging at y/n after austria and that girl has levels of voodoo only taylor swift can better

user350: he's also a grown man who has seen this all go down behind the scenes so he's made his bed and has to lie in it

user351: the way the sponsors are just piling up for charles as well karma really is doing a number right now

user352: his charm is so universal that oscar is becoming one of the most marketable drivers as well

user353: no but as someone who was on the ground at monza, it's BAD like people were wearing their sainz merch with the 55 or spanish flag covered up

user354: oh he got them acting like middle aged football fans it's BAD

user355: at least they haven't started burning stuff yet

user356: if he takes out charles i fear it won't take long

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,452,097 others

yourusername: my new poetry and letter collection, the alchemy, is out today and you guys already made it a new york times bestseller. my heart is so full! the last couple months made me feel like i would never get to love so thank you for showing me that everything is possible x

view all comments

user357: ma'am i am in love with you

user358: get in line buddy

charles_leclerc: i will run all of you over

maxverstappen1: thank you for the dedication, it was a traumatic time for us all

yourusername: you simply could've not read my private letters to my lover?

maxverstappen1: and where's the fun in that?

yourusername: a pigeon wouldn't have done this to me...

maxverstappen1: yeah well a pigeon also hasn't been your best friend for years and doesn't have a couch and cats to comfort you

yourusername: you make a good point

user359: she's really out here making me believe in love

charles_leclerc: the most talented woman in the world, i'm blessed to be on the receiving end of such words

yourusername: writing is so much easier with a muse like you

charles_leclerc: you're making me blush

user360: sure if my boyfriend was a greek god i'd also write good poetry

charles_leclerc: no you couldn't, not like her

yourusername: (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

lewishamilton: congratulations y/n, what an achievement! however, i do think the real achievement here is getting this grid to read a book

georgerussell63: excuse me?

alexalbon: ... you got me but i wanted the tea ☕️

charles_leclerc: APPRECIATE THE POETRY PEOPLE

alexalbon: funny how the letters were back and forth... but none of yours made it to the book

yourusername: ALEX :(

charles_leclerc: i didn't want my sad ramblings to drag down her shine - i thought you would get that seeing how bad you are at golf compared to lily

lilymunhe: oop.

user361: where are the children

yourusername: eating my cake :(

maxverstappen1: they're actually being really cute and are all sat in a circle reading it (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

charles_leclerc: gotta make sure they can read none of us finished school

f1

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 2,309,450 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & carlossainz55

f1: LAST LAP SHUNT! Carlos Sainz takes Max Verstappen out in baku and the two did not mince their words on the radio

view all comments

user363: not to be dramatic but that's lowkey attempted murder

user364: at this point carlos is trying to ACTUALLY recreate that list of crimes meme

user365: let's get his ass in JAIL then

oscarpiastri: if i speak i'm in big trouble

carlossainz55: speak it big man - if you wanna act like a big guy back it up

oscarpiastri: okay you are a narcissistic misogynist who can't bear being told no. you are a talented man but without your name you would be nowhere but you lack the selfawareness to be grateful for where you are which is why you don't have a job. you are reckless and dangerous and the very few friends you have will drop you when you no longer serve a purpose in f1

user366: oh shit babe came out swinging

oscarpiastri: i'm hearing a lot of CRICKETS?

oscarpiastri: exactly - pussy.

user367: thank you franco colapinto for bringing back drivers with zero media training

user368: once again i am asking for proximity chat in f1

user369: the sweet souls on twitter would NOT be able to handle it

yourusername: bro tried to assassinate my best friend but i'm the problem

carlossainz55: stop being so dramatic, if anyone was to purposely hurt someone it would be max - look where he came from

yourusername: first of all FUCK YOU

yourusername: second of all, max is stronger than you ever will be, how dare you try and use his childhood against him when you know he's nothing but a gentle soul

yourusername: thirdly, by this logic the reason i'm such a 'gold-digging back-stabbing whore' is because of YOU GUYS

user370: i am absolutely losing it at the fact that carlos is furiously typing these at the fia HQ

user371: i know his PR officer is TIRED

francocolapinto: sorry our uncle got sniped but we did also get points @olliebearman

olliebearman: JUST TO SAY WE WENT TO SEE MAX AND HE IS OKAY BUT YES THANK YOU FOR THE POINTS

yourusername: guys lets keep the inside thoughts inside

francocolapinto: so you're not proud of us (╹ -╹)?

yourusername: I AM, I AM, WE ARE (charles is on the podium he'll tell you later)

francocolapinto: ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

olliebearman: ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,387,300 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: i lived bitch

view all comments

user372: they're gonna have to do a little more than that to take down the united front of hating

user373: 50g can't stop the grind for these dudes

maxverstappen1: i would call that man a bitch with my last breath

user374: them celebrating the end of carlos' career by doing a mukbang is killing me

user375: when the funeral food be good as fuck you be forgetting who died

carlossainz55: you guys really are so pathetic

maxverstappen1: i didn't try to pimp out my sister, make her homeless then sue her but that might just me be

maxverstappen1: also the data will prove what we all know btw

carlossainz55: that you're reckless just like your daddy?

maxverstappen1: at least i can admit my dad is an asshole and i distanced myself, your dad is just as much a bitch but you gotta parade him around because no one else can bear being around you

carlossainz55: the only bad thing my dad ever did in his life is help bring the spawn of satan into the world

maxverstappen1: whatever, enjoy your race ban bozo

user376: is max suggesting ... it was on purpose

user377: if it was carlos might just be as dumb as they all say because fool was about to get a podium

yourusername: THEY CAN'T GET RID OF US BITCH

maxverstappen1: you're a sick motherfucker if you're enjoying this sainz disasterclass well i only just got out of the medical centre 🤧🤧🤧

charles_leclerc: no but deadass we're sorry you got taken out

maxverstappen1: someone had to be the mercutio to you people's romeo and juliet

maxverstappen1: PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELVES AFTER I'VE GONE THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT FOR YOU

yourusername: we can't leave you with all these kids

charles_leclerc: yeah that's a lot of kids to inherit

user378: christian horner i hate you but you gotta get on your zoom

oscarpiastri: where's my congratulations 🤨

maxverstappen1: @yourusername @charles_leclerc yeah you can keep your kids

charles_leclerc: we're proud of you oscar (don't beat me again)

yourusername: well done oscar (your verbal takedown was particularly impressive as well)

oscarpiastri: 🤭🤭🤭

fin

note: lol i'm back. i was busy with work and then in hospital. but we all love guilty as sin? will get to tagging soon one sec

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 9

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Panic/Anxiety attack. Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.7K

Series List: Here!

Miss Chapter 8? Here!

Hi everyone!! I really don't feel great about this chapter, I'm sorry if it sucks. I kinda just want to get it out there though because I don't see my brain thinking up anything better. A lot of writer's block surrounding this scene. Anywho, hopefully next chapter will be better, but I still hope you like it. Although we allude to a little bit of sexual situations now that they are together, I likely will avoid explicit smut being that Pedro is a real human and I am a guilty, guilty human for writing any smut at all. I don't want to offend Pedro (not that he'd ever see it anyway, I am delusional), but I also know people find real person fiction uncomfy as a whole. That being said, I think this story may be coming to a close pretty soon. I plan to have maybe one more full storyline chapter, and at least one little side bonus chapter :) Please let me know what you think in the comments, or DM me if you wanna chat! I love hearing all your thoughts. Thank you for reading and hanging in here with me.

Before the screen even had a chance to load, you canceled the request. Nervously looking at Pedro, he held your hand under the table. “What is it?” he asked gently.

“I just realized,” you replied. “What if they ask about us? About those pictures? What should I say?”

Pedro answered with a gentle stroke of his thumb on your cheek. “Whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm sure I'll be fine with whatever you say, baby. I know your privacy is important to you, and I trust you. I'm all in with you.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath and once again began the stream.

“Live in 3…”

“2…”

“1…”

The fans began to file in, and before you knew it, you had thousands of viewers. Opting to start with your screen covered, you wanted to give an intro first before the big reveal. 

It wasn't long before the comments flowed across the screen. 

You took a deep breath, squeezing Pedro’s hand, and jumping in. “Hi everyone! It's me… a lot has been happening lately and I decided it might be time to show a little more of myself.”

-“First!”

-“Did she mean to start a live video ??"

-"Hiii! I'm a big fan"

-“Is she there??”

-“Do you guys see anything?”

“So… Here's me.” You turned on your camera, waving at the screen, your stomach twisting in deeper knots.

-“No fucking way.”

-“!?!!!!!”

-“SCREAMING”

“Hi… Some of you might know me, some might be surprised. But this is me. This is the girl behind the music.”

The comments flooded in, entirely too fast for you to read.

“I want to thank all of you for being fans and listening to my songs. It really means a lot and I hope you liked the album. Your support blows me away, especially with what little information about myself I've given.”

More comments.

“Well, I uh… guess I should read some of these comments and answer some questions. I'm sure there’s a lot you all are wondering about,” you stated nervously, starting to read.

-“Why did you hide your identity?”

“Why did I hide my identity… I hid my identity mostly based on poor self image. I never expected my music to gain popularity, never expected celebrities to know it. Never expected any of it, and it certainly brought its share of criticism. I was scared to be in the spotlight and I didn't feel like I looked good enough to be someone famous. You know? I'm not skinny, I have flaws, and that doesn't always sit well with the Internet. I guess I was mainly scared of how I would be perceived. I'm just a normal girl who had her whole life flipped upside down when I wrote my feelings down,” you laughed anxiously.

Choosing to ignore the storm brewing in the comments below, you addressed the earlier comment. “Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad I can make you feel more accepted by seeing more plus-sized people in the entertainment business. Everyone should feel seen and have a place at the table, no matter what you look like, or who you are.”

-“I think it's nice to have more celebrities that look kinda like me.”

-“You're so humble!!”

-“You should've stayed hidden lmao”

-“Shut up, asshole. Why are you here if you're going to be rude?”

-“I'm sure you're a real supermodel behind that keyboard bravery.. smh”

You weren't expecting someone to actually feel like you were representing them and making them feel seen. You didn't think you had enough of an impact for that. You certainly weren't treated that way when you weren't famous. Nobody really even noticed you before.

You could feel Pedro’s eyes on your face, his thumb swirling circles and hearts over the space of skin on the top of your hand, below your thumb. The place where his bullseye resides on his own. Does he trace that tattoo when he's nervous, the same way he is with me? Perhaps his tracing of your hand is calming himself as much as it is for you.

Desperately, you wanted to look over at him and be comforted by his deep brown eyes, but doing so would cause people to wonder who you made eye contact with and smiled at. So instead, you gave a gentle squeeze and a smile towards the screen, hoping he would understand. 

-“Hi, I'm a big fan of yours. Can I ask… is what you said on your album true? You've never been kissed before? I haven't either and I was starting to feel like I'm just a freak.”

“Oh, honey, you aren't a freak. Everyone has things happen at different times in their life. But yes, everything I wrote in my album at the time I wrote it was true. And don't worry, I have felt the same way. Seeing others be kissed, falling in love… having the things I wasn't, it really hurts. But it'll be okay.. nothing is wrong with you. You're deserving of love.”

You hoped they wouldn't pick up on your usage of past-tense wording. Pedro, still holding your hand, rubbed his other hand over your arm gently.

-“Wait… at the time you wrote it? What about now?”

The comments were going wild.

Welp…

Your hands shook, and you used your opposite hand to place on top of Pedro’s that gripped yours. He squeezed gently, feeling the nervous tremors pass through your body, continuing to rub gentle strokes over your arm with his opposite hand.

“Uhm…” your cheeks heated and your stomach sank.

“I've changed a lot since this album was first written. Experienced new things. But I'm still the same person.”

Shit.

-“Who did you kiss?! Is it the guy in your song?”

-“Will you tell us who the song is about?”

-“Wait a second… you're that girl aren't you!?!!!! The one in the pictures with Pedro Pascal!!!!”

-“OMG IT IS”

-“!!!!!!!”

-“IS HE THE GUY!?!”

-“ARE YOU DATING!?!”

The nervous tremors continued, now threatening to cause your teeth to chatter. A full panic attack was brewing. Pedro squeezed your hand again, touching your knee and trying to do his best to ground you without speaking up on your live video. Skipper could feel the waves of anxiousness pooling off of you as well and crawled forward to settle his body across your feet. You took a few calming breaths, but when you went to speak, your voice still betrayed you.

“I..” your voice cracked, shakiness evident as you could feel tears starting to edge their way towards your vision.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I need to shut it off.

You shut your eyes, taking deep breaths, trying to ease your nausea and stress. 

Keeping your eyes closed, you spoke. “Yes.”

You took another deep breath. “Yes it was me, yes the song was about him. Yes.”

You opened your eyes to read the comments, tears pooling down your cheeks as you couldn't hold back your emotion anymore.

This is so embarrassing. The first time I show my face I'm crying and having an anxiety attack in front of the whole world.

You swallowed, choking back the full sobs that your body wanted to let loose. Wiping your face with the back of your hand, you began to read the comments, expecting laughter, criticism, and bullying. Instead, you were met with kindness.

Coming back to your senses, you gave a shaky smile. “Thank you guys. I'm sorry for my emotions.” You sniffled. Pedro was still rubbing your hands and arms, comforting you, having never stopped. His eyes still bore into the side of your head, and you knew he was struggling to not speak up or grab you fully. 

-“Oh my God, are you okay?”

-“I didn't mean to make you cry I'm so sorry”

-“You and Pedro make a cute couple”

-“Oh no, please don't cry”

-“Idk if you guys are dating but you seem cute”

-“I'm so glad you guys are spending time together when he's the guy in your song”

-“It'll be okay, please don't be upset”

-“You're amazing, we love you”

“Yes, Pedro and I have been spending a lot of time talking after he publicly commented on my song a few months ago. The party was the first time we met in person and we're still figuring things out,” you let go of your worries and broke eye contact with the camera, looking to your side to meet Pedro’s gaze. “But… we're happy.” You smiled at him. He smiled back gently, squeezing your hand, worry and sadness plaguing his face over your well-being. Breaking eye contact, you looked back at the screen.

You giggled before answering “well, I think that's all we have time for today. Thank you all for joining me!” You silently clicked off the stream, closing the browser, turning off the computer, and turning to Pedro. He grabbed your other hand in his, now holding both. “Are you okay?” He asked, concern etched in his face.

-“AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”

-“IS HE THERE WITH YOU!?!”

-“whaaaaat”

-“SCREAMING”

-“Shut. Up. This is insane.”

-“YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE I CAN'T TAKE IT”

“I think so,” you nodded.

“Seeing you panic and not being able to do anything without potentially making it worse… It killed me. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pull you into my arms and end that video myself. I hated seeing you so upset.” He stared down at your intertwined hands, rubbing his thumb over them again. 

“I appreciate you being here for me,” you let go of his hand to stroke his cheek. “I couldn't have done that without you.” You met his eyes, leaning forward to rest against his forehead. He let out a shaky breath. “I love you. I'm so proud of you.”

“I love you too,” you replied with a smile. “Let's move to the couch, huh?” You asked, pulling him up from the chair. He stood, just as your phone rang, a call from Rose. You quickly answered.

“I saw the live stream. You did wonderful! Don't worry about any of the negative comments you saw or any stories that come out of this. I'll handle it all.”

“Thanks, Rose.”

“Anytime. Take care.” She hung up.

You updated Pedro as the two of you walked towards the couch. “Do you want breakfast?” He asked.

“Maybe in a minute. Can I just hold onto you for a few minutes?”

“I would love nothing more.”

He sat on the couch, you sitting next to him, before he gave you a look. “What?” you laughed. He patted his leg.

“Let me hold you.”

“I'm too heavy for that Pedro, don't be ridiculous,” you shook your head.

“You're the one being ridiculous.” He reached over, pulling you into his lap. “I'm too heavy! You're going to hurt yourself,” you whined.

“You're not too heavy. You're the perfect size, baby. Come here,” he pulled you forward, your body sliding down his thighs as he wrapped his arms around you. You straddled his lap, knees on either side of his hips while he rubbed your back gently. You placed your arms around him, nuzzling into his neck and closing your eyes. You both sighed, and he grabbed a blanket next to him to pull over your bodies. “I could stay like this for hours, wrapped in your arms” you sighed comfortably. 

“Why don't you?” He turned his head to kiss your lips. You lifted your face up, taking your head off his shoulder to kiss him deeper. The kisses were lazy and comfortable, holding each other and enjoying the warmth of being in each other's arms.

Finally the two of you broke the kiss, settling back on his shoulder, him tilting his head to lean against yours. His hands sprawled over your back, pulling you forward a bit to adjust in his lap. You let out a soft whimper at the contact, fully aware of the location your bodies connected at the moment. “Feel how much you mean to me?” He asked, his breath ghosting your ear as he pulled your hips forward again. You whined. “Yes..” you answered breathlessly. The temptation to keep doing that was overwhelming. But he once again wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back as the two of you comfortably dozed off, finally relaxed after so much stress of the morning.

Hours later, you stirred, feeling Pedro still underneath you. At the feel of you moving, he stretched a bit before settling with his arms around you again. “Morning, baby” he hummed. “Guess we fell asleep,” you smiled.

“Some of the best sleep I've had in a while, here with you.”

“Same here.” You blinked your eyes open, kissing him on the lips with a peck. “What time is it?”

He turned his head to look at the clock on your TV. “5 o’clock” he laughed. “Guess we both needed some rest.” 

“Mmmm, I guess so,” you hummed, settling into him more.

“Good thing I brought nonperishables. Are you hungry?”

You pondered. “Yeah, I am,” you looked into his deep brown eyes. “Breakfast for dinner?” You smiled at him.

“Sounds perfect.” He pecked your lips before you slid off his lap, the two of you standing to stretch. It wasn't long that you two stood apart before you leapt forward again to give him a hug. He laughed, hugging you back. “I'll never get tired of being in your arms,” you smiled into his chest, breathing in his scent.

“I'll never get tired of holding you in mine,” he pulled his face back to look at you.

“Now let's eat! I'm starved,” you scampered towards the kitchen, him giving a gentle pat to your butt before hugging you from behind as you grabbed the breakfast foods. You giggled, setting food on plates as he kissed your neck, still wrapped around you from behind. “I'm starving too,” he replied back to your earlier statement with a growl, biting your ear.

“Pedro!” You giggled, smacking his arm gently. He chuckled, pulling away and grabbing his plate as you both headed to the table.

The two of you ate, filling the space with light conversation, both of you occasionally sneaking Skipper some bites under the table. He could get used to having two humans spoiling him.

The chatter came to a natural pause, eating in silence and smiling at each other across the table. Pedro stopped eating, wiping his hands and continuing to stare at you. You laughed, asking him what was up. Suddenly, he looked nervous.

“I, uh…” he rubbed his neck. “I was going to wait until after we had at least a first date to say this, but…” he trailed off, and your mind spiraled. Is he breaking up with me? Is he not interested anymore? What's wrong?

“I was wondering if… you'd be my girlfriend? Exclusively?” His cheeks flushed.

You stammered, dropping your fork on the plate. “You… you want… me to be your girlfriend?” You smiled.

He nodded. “If… you'll have me.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?” He nodded again, looking down at the table.

“Yes. Yes, are you kidding? Please! I'd love nothing more.” You grinned, jumping out of your chair to move to him.

He stood, pulling you into a hug. “Really?” He smiled at you.

“Really,” you nodded. “Now kiss me,” you held his face.

“Gladly,” he pulled you closer, kissing you deeply, his tongue asking for entrance to your mouth. You squealed, surprised, but letting him in. You'd never experienced this sensation before. But it was… incredible.

He licked your lips, the two of you exploring the inside of each other's mouths, tongues dancing together. The kiss was heated and deeper than ever before, both of you finally pulling away for air, him coming back in to peck your lips a few times, sucking your lip between his own. You sighed shakily. “Wow.”

“I love kissing you,” he smiled against your lips.

“I love kissing you. You're a good kisser,” you smiled back.

“So are you,” he smirked. “My beautiful girlfriend.” He gave a kiss. “How about that date tomorrow?” He pulled away to look at you, letting his hand rub across your lower back, just above your butt.

“I'd love to,” you stroked his face. “My handsome boyfriend.” You wrapped your arms around him again, blissfully.

“Tomorrow,” you two sighed in unison.

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin @hmneighbors

Thank you for reading!!! Let me know what you think ❤️

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

[skaruresonic]

Remake!James is such a prick, I hate him so fucking much.

In the In Water ending, his justification for driving his car into the lake isn't that he no longer has anything to live for without Mary, but that he can't forgive himself for what he's done.

That in and of itself wouldn't be so bad---a lack of self-forgiveness is also implied in the original version of In Water. But the real odiousness lies less in what James says and more in the implications underpinning his sentiments.

Bloober cut the original dialogue between Mary and James - the scene where he admits his mixed motives, that he both hated her for taking away his life and that he also wanted to end her suffering, and where Mary notes that he looks sad despite his shame - and instead has James monologue at Mary's corpse.

What was originally a dialogue between two parties - or, more figuratively, two sides of James making equally valid points - becomes, instead, a one-sided soliloquy where he prioritizes his wishes over those of his dead wife because "you're dead anyway, what do you care."

And no, I am not kidding. Bloober has removed most metaphorical and figurative exchanges in this game in favor of a more literal, "realistic" interpretation of events.

Here, James is quite literally talking to Mary's corpse in the back seat when he says:

...and everybody clapped because omg "'Mary's corpse was rotting in the back seat the whole time' theory confirmed, In Water must be the canon ending now." shoot me.

"I tried. I really did. But I can't... I just can't go on without you. I can't forgive myself for what I've done. I know this isn't what you'd want. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. You... You're not here. Are you?"

So Mary's wishes would only matter to you if she were alive to protest, huh, James? You wouldn't abide by them out of honor for her memory or on general principle because you, idk, loved her?

You know for a fact that she wouldn't want you to kill yourself, so you're not even going to try? Your wish to die matters more than her wish to see you live? Because you didn't exactly give her a choice in the matter, either.

In fact, I'm sure Mary would be pretty angry to hear how you value life so little that you're just gonna throw away yours out of an inability to deal with your guilt. You should feel guilty, and you should have to live with that guilt and find a way to work through it, because you murdered her.

This would be a shitty thing for James to say even if Mary had died naturally, but the fact that he murdered her makes him saying "well you're not here anymore, so fuck it" a hell of a lot skeevier. He is not going to even attempt to own up to his guilt aside from a token "sowwy, I can't fowgive myself uwu"; he can't even admit the truth, that he might have done it at least partially out of resentment. The original's nuance is eroded in favor of making In Water seem more like a classically "bad" ending, when it reality it should only be one plausible ending among multiple.

There's a reason we don't just toss people into ditches once they kick the bucket because "they're not here anymore lol." Have some fucking decorum, James, you selfish bitch.

And if you, dear reader, are thinking I'm being inordinately vitriolic towards James, I'm really not, because he maintains a self-centered attitude to the various deaths he witnesses.

He has nothing to say, zip, about Maria's first death or Eddie's death. Can't even be bothered to drum up the basic decency to offer a perfunctory "Damn, that was fucked-up."

At least Original!James was horrified at the prospect of murdering a "human being" in Eddie, a horror which jostled him into wondering whether Mary truly died three years ago (hence why the letter's writing disappears from the inventory; his delusions are slowly fading away). At least when Maria died in Brookhaven, he lamented that he "couldn't do anything to help."

The way he speaks in the remake, on the other hand, centers everything around him. It's all about his image, his ego, his feelings, and rarely, if ever, about Mary, let alone others.

This is not the first time Remake!James flaunts his ego, but it is exemplative of his attitude throughout the game. Bloober characterize him as an egotistical jerk via his dialogue and general attitude, and sometimes in the things he chooses not to say even when he should. And I cannot figure out for the life of me whether that was intentional, to push some gender-essentialist Men Bad(tm) message, or if Bloober are so shit at writing that they don't realize they've made him 100x more unlikable than before.

[spacedlexi]

Wait, people think Carver is the best TWDG villain?? I always thought he was basic as hell, and the fact that he was beefing with an 11-years old girl... Now Stranger on the other hand was great, he was super intimidating and off-putting and I was genuinely so scared he would hurt Clementine. I also liked Minnie for the same reasons (she was so creepy/off-putting), but I still think Stranger is the best villain bc he had a great setup while Minnie was kind of a secondary villain. But going back to Lilly/Carver, I also definitely prefer Lilly over Carver even though neither are my favorite... And now I'm kind of curious how you would rank the rest of the TWDG villains? 🤔

carver being the best villain is a sentiment ive heard for years 😭 im sure its coming from the "S2 is the best season" crowd tho which i also dont agree with 💀

the stranger is an effective villain. hes not exactly the typical villain type people expect. but hes very unsettling and him stalking clementine for who even knows how long through the walkie talkie is 🤢 he really makes me feel sick. she was using that talkie to deal with the loss of her parents, and this fucking creep took advantage of that so hard he was able to convince her to trust him. ugh he makes me feel so gross. and think of all the guilt clem must have about that situation. trusting this freak to help her find her parents, when if she had just stayed then lee wouldnt have gotten bit looking for her, and her parents were already dead the entire time anyway. oof. theres no way that isnt one of the biggest regrets of her life

carver is fine. i definitely think his character wouldve made more sense if they put kenny in that role instead. that way theres less "i am a grown man beefing with an 11 year old" and more "this is a child i helped look out for once, and im gonna make sure shes raised Right". but i agree that carver as he is is just over the top. overly villainous to the point of it being a little comical. like when villains are all tough like that my reaction is usually "god i WISH youd fucking kill me already so i dont have to hear your bullshit anymore do you know how GOOFY you sound??". if it was kenny in that role i definitely think they wouldve been able to tone it back a bit, and him "having a good side" wouldve been way more believable. as he is carver is kind of one note

joan.... definitely the weakest of the bunch. i dont really have much to say about her. david isnt even technically a villain but i definitely saw him as the better antagonist for the season. i mean hes definitely a villain in clems eyes. and is a constant semi-antagonist towards javi throughout the whole season. joans just kinda.. there.. doing things behind the scenes to cause conflict until the final confrontation. and then she can just disappear... okay

i like the way the antagonists work in S4. theres more of a discussion around what actually makes someone a villain and the difference between a person who fucked up and made (very horrible) mistakes, and a person who is straight up a threat. and i like that it connects back to the idea of lee and his murder of that senator. did he do something horrible? yes. did he destroy his relationship to his family? yes. does he regret what he did? i think so. and he definitely has guilt about his fucked up relationship with his wife. in S1 they mention how non-guilty people got sent to prison all the time. while lee is Definitely a murderer, we get to see over the season that hes a good guy who just wanted a family and in a moment of rage and betrayal did something he can never take back. this is why i never hated marlon. did he fuck up and do horrible things? of course. but he was a scared fucked up teen leading a group of other scared fucked up teens. he knows he fucked up, and continued fucking up to cover for his previous fuck ups lol. but he can be talked down. its a shame it ends the way it does, but i really like being able to teach aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly

lilly takes that kenny/carver idea and applies it to a clementine that has grown up and has been looking out for herself (and baby aj) for years now, instead of the 11 year old trying to figure shit out she was in S2. shes too old for lilly to be able to sway her in a way she couldve been more susceptible to in S2, and when lilly finally realizes this she just turns her attention to aj instead, seeing the potential in him (a potential clem does NOT want aj to live up to, wanting him to get to be a kid and not just a survivor, let alone a killer). lilly is fun because you can see in her that she WANTS clementine on her side, and throughout the season progressively realizes that its just never going to happen. both lilly AND clem come to the realization that this person they once considered family is beyond reason, their views too different, and so the fighting begins. their fight at the end of EP3 really feels like a "so its finally come to this" moment for both of them, their final fight. i always shoot her.

whats interesting about minnie is seeing her evolve from secondary antagonist in EP3 to straight up primary villain in EP4. the things shes done, the way shes been broken. she becomes her own downfall, seeing herself as someone beyond redemption. that this is just who she is now, its how things have to be. because if they didnt have to be this way? well then theres a lot more guilt she'd have to deal with. yelling at her in EP4 to just STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS ANYMORE but she has been changed (in her eyes) so irreparably that she cant see any other option. and she progressively sees clem as the one who fucked everything up for her, instead of accepting that it could all finally be OVER. after killing sophie, the delta was all she had left. it cant have all been for nothing. and so she blames clem for taking it all away from her, even tho clem is just trying to protect her family. the family that used to be minnies. and so in her rage she gets bit. something else that she couldve avoided. but shes just too lost to her own downward spiral, unable to be reasoned with. by that point she just wants it all to be Over. and she wants to take tenn with her so she can finally pretend things can all go back to the way they used to be. her, sophie, tenn, and their parents all together again, where no more bad things have to happen to them. shes super tragic and i love her for that. and i love how she holds this dark mirror up to clem. clem struggles to let go of her past too, and the guilt she has over the things shes done and people shes hurt. and that if she cant learn to let go and move on she could get lost to it the same way minnie did. theres a reason clem is so quick to accept her fate, but shes finally able to leave that guilt holding her to her past behind in that barn. and she returns to ericson a much happier and lighter person, so much weight finally lifted from her shoulders. its finally over for her too

so yeah. my fave villains are definitely the S4 ones due to their nuance and layers. then the stranger, then carver, then joan. if i had to put david on this list he'd probably be above carver. but thats mainly because he has more nuance than carver ever did

[bengiyo]

Cooking Crush Ep 6 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Ten's dad found out about the money Ten's been paying to Prem, and then he went to Prem's house, called him a scammer, and told him to take the money and fuck off. Meanwhile, that super chef has left his show and is helping the school select a trio to send into the competition. Super chef clearly likes Prem, and those shitty bullies are not happy about it. Still, Ten and Prem clearly like each other, and we saw them kiss, but we have to learn today how we got here. Dynamite and Fire also have a conversation in the car I'm hoping to get more of.

I really am such a sucker for a tippy toe kiss.

Poor Ten has no idea about his dad's intervention, nor how genuinely guilty Orem feels about this.

Dish 6: That 'Jub Chai Stew' Makes Me Spend More Time With You

Oh no. They left Samsi to get picked up by the cops. This is not okay.

Okay, Metha went back. I don't have to hate him.

I love Dynamite so much.

Okay, Pang and Metha are really coming through as sounding boards. Both of these boys need to face how they feel about each other, and Pang is correct that Prem should feel no shame about Tem walking into this eyes wide open.

This stew looks really good and now I want to make it.

Oh lord not chicken nuggets.

Welcome back, The Heart Knows.

I love them going on this not-date to extend their time together.

I like that because part of their relationship is Prem teaching Ten stuff, he was quick to correct Ten for saying something rude.

Off has really improved his smolder. This was a solid almost-kiss, and I applaud this show for letting me know they will kiss tonight. I don't feel denied, and appreciate the anticipation now.

Next scene?? Good job, BL.

Oh my goodness this is actually really cute. I love how cuddly and giggly they became after that kiss.

Okay, Ten, I respect you bringing up the kiss early.

LOL, the prof called Chang Ma right out on that crush.

Grandma ain't falling for it either!

I agree, cinematographer, Gun really is that pretty.

Okay, Ten! I like this energy.

Seeing Jane and Fire at the grocery has me thinking about a potential low stakes pregame run Cheum and Boston could have made it OF had more friend content.

Goddamn, first Metha and then Jane. Metha said you need a stern dicking, and Jane said you gotta hide from your mom? None of the friends in this show are gonna let anyone off the hook!

I never tire of the food fantasies. It makes me want to watch Food Wars again.

I absolutely love that this young prodigy is the leader of this group of gays.

I love Pang so much. She is down to clown. Reminds me of a story I cannot tell on the Internet about my own sister.

What is up with all the salt bae jokes this week??

We should keep the hat on Aungpao. I like the look.

I love that Dynamite takes the direct approach at all times.

Next week looks good!

I missed this show. So glad we're back on track. Neo is doing some interesting work as a closeted boy that feels different from his work in The Eclipse. He's about to give Gawin a run for his money now that this is his third time playing repressed.

[ao3-oner]

Hello, a fellow JDG fan here also deeply mourning the loss against WBG...(it was so close too, damn. BTW i strongly believe that if the meta had been hyper-carry ADC JDG would have made worlds) and as much as i think it’s a shame that the WKFA series is getting discontinued, i’m just gonna say i think it’s good that you’re not forcing yourself to write things you’re not interested in! Plus i will eat up every fic you write anyway lol so keep up the good work

However i’m probably not the only one curious about what the fic might have been, so could you tell us a bit about your ideas/brainrot scenes(If you’re comfortable and willing to share of course)? I read the scene you posted on ao3 and i’m guessing the context is that siwoo hooked up with jaehyuk and then got kicked out and spent the night at jinhyuk’s room. I hadn't expected that siwoo would have had a... thing? with kanavi too but could you tell us a little more about that? And also I’m especially curious about what kind of ending RuLehends would have gotten at the end of the fic, happy/sad/ambiguous?

Wow this is a barrage of questions, so please feel free to ignore stuff(or this entire ask) if you don’t feel like answering. Have a good day!

Hi, and thanks for the ask!

Like I said in my longer update post, I am more than happy to talk about what some of my ideas for what the Worlds fic could have been, including further context for the scene that I did end up writing - in fact, after posting that one scene, I found myself thinking "I really could just write the scene right before that one... and maybe the one before that... and maybe-" until I realized at that rate I would just be writing the entire fic inside out lmao

But yeah, let's start with KanHends! My main foundation for their relationship is a quote from Kanavi where he said he considered himself to be good friends with both Chovy and Lehends from their (few) Griffin days together. As for Kanavi and Lehends's sexual history together, it wasn't so much of a 'thing' as a one night stand, which was actually was going to be a part of the vihends plotline:

My hc for this subplot was that when Viper and Lehends first started working together on Griffin, there were feelings there and so they started hooking up and Viper wanted them to be exclusive. Lehends... didn't really want that level of commitment, at least not yet, but rather than talking about his feelings like a normal, healthy person, he decided to resolve the issue by sleeping his way through the rest of the Griffin roster, leading us to this exchange:

Past! Jinhyuk: "We shouldn't. I mean, you're Dohyun's..."

Past! Siwoo: "Dohyun's... what?"

Past! Jinhyuk: "I dunno. You're Dohyun's something."

Past! Siwoo: "That's the thing, Jin: I'm not his anything. I'm not 'his' at all, and that means we can do whatever the fuck we want. So, are you in?"

Dohyun finds out, of course, and is absolutely heartbroken because he thought he and Siwoo had an understanding. Siwoo explains that he's happy to keep his situationship with Dohyun as long as it remains exactly that: no strings attached. Jinhyuk is honestly kind of pissed that Siwoo essentially used him as a means to set boundaries with Dohyun, but lets it slide because he did know what he was signing up for and he still generally likes Siwoo plus the sex was really good so

That whole past interaction was going to feed into Jinhyuk being honestly worried about Dohyun's well-being going into Worlds, because based on what he's heard from both Jaehyuk and Jihoon, it certainly doesn't sound like Siwoo's gotten his shit together. Even if Siwoo claims he's now ready for a committed relationship with Dohyun, Jin is pressing X to doubt. That, plus Jinhyuk still feeling slightly guilty for interfering with their relationship all those years ago, was going to incentivize Jinhyuk to talk to Dohyun at Worlds about his relationship with Siwoo, with his goal being to try to prevent his friend from getting his heart broken all over again. Oh, Kanavi plotline my beloved... Have I mentioned how much I love Jinhyuk? Because I really do.

On another note, Jaehyuk's quip about "the best night of [Jin's] life" in the scene that I wrote out was also a reference to this backstory: Jaehyuk didn't know about Jin and Siwoo's fling until Worlds where Jin mentions it in the context of a different discussion about Siwoo’s escapades, something along the lines of the exasperated declaration, "Yes, we've fucked! Best night of my fucking life! But that only shows how none of this means shit to Siwoo! That's just what he does. That's just who he is." Jaehyuk was honestly pretty shocked to hear that, but didn't get too snippy about it until he saw Siwoo walking out of Jinhyuk's hotel room and kissing him...

Speaking of, you've hit the context of the stand-alone scene squarely on the head, so I'm glad to hear that the key points came across okay. What happened the night before that scene consisted of some very messy sex between Jaehyuk and Siwoo, followed by Jaehyuk ordering Siwoo to get out of his room. I like that scene a lot - very hot, very angsty - so I won't share too many details until I'm more certain that I'm not gonna fully write it out. But yeah, it ends with Siwoo in tears outside of Jaehyuk's door, pounding on it until Jin comes out to see what all the noise is about, takes one look at Siwoo all fucked and bitten and sobbing, then says something along the lines of "For fuck's sake, you two..." and drags Siwoo into his room. They just sleep, of course. Siwoo just needed someone to hold him after that, and #Kanavi'sAGoodFriend.

As for your question about what ending RuLehends had in store for them... Since the full fic isn't going to be written, I honestly think it's better for you to decide that for yourself. What even constitutes a happy ending for them? Are they together? Apart? Does Siwoo end up with Dohyun instead? I think all my readers can decide what they think should happen, or what they want to happen, and mentally sub that in for 'canon'. At this point, I rescind my right to make a call about the ending either way. Maybe Singed from the hit game League of Legends shows up in the real world at the very end, flings Siwoo over his shoulder and sprints off into the distance? Idk. Have fun with it!

As always, don't worry about asking me things regardless of how long or short they are - I am happy to be yappy. You have a great day, too, wherever you are, and I hope to hear from you again!

[mariana-oconnor]

The Blanched Soldier pt 2

Last time in Yet Another Unintentionally Queer Tale from the Classic Unintentionally Queer Universe, Mr Dodd had gone to see Sherlock Holmes about his army boyfriend who had mysteriously disappeared and whose family and friends appeared to be treating the guy as though he were dead.

So far we've had some A+ fathering and some B- mothering (clearly she loves her son, but also she doesn't appear to be doing anything to help her son. Does she know whether her son is alive?)

I have at no point wondered if Godfrey had been sent to Victorian Conversion Therapy. Which... what would that even entail? Something terrible no doubt.

"Clearly my poor friend had become involved in some criminal or, at the least, disreputable transaction which touched the family honour. That stern old man had sent his son away and hidden him from the world lest some scandal should come to light."

Possible, but I feel like this is too generous a view of the father. I am fully prepared for it to be that Godfrey is just mentally ill and his father thinks he'll bring shame on the family through that.

"No doubt he had fallen into bad hands and been misled to his ruin."

Hey, give Godfrey the respect of believing he could go bad all by himself. He's a grown man. He could if he wanted!

"I was anxiously pondering the matter when I looked up, and there was Godfrey Emsworth standing before me.”

Huh...

Either his father is bloody useless as a jailer, or he's not locked up in the house like I thought he was.

"He was deadly pale—never have I seen a man so white. I reckon ghosts may look like that; [...] he saw that I was looking at him, and he vanished into the darkness. “There was something shocking about the man, Mr. Holmes. It wasn't merely that ghastly face glimmering as white as cheese in the darkness. It was more subtle than that—something slinking, something furtive, something guilty— something very unlike the frank, manly lad that I had known. It left a feeling of horror in my mind."

“I had a good look at the little house as I passed it, but the windows were heavily curtained..."

To keep out the SUN perhaps? Huh?

"I could not see his face, but I knew the familiar slope of his shoulders."

I'm not saying it's gay to recognise your bff by the slope of their shoulders, but I'm not saying it's not gay, either. Y'know?

As we drove to Euston we picked up a grave and taciturn gentleman of iron-gray aspect, with whom I had made the necessary arrangements.

We are indeed doing what I thought we would do in Holmes' perspective - he's just not telling us anything. Presumably in order to keep some sort of suspense. He does like a dramatic surprise, so I suppose it's not out of character. But it's very clear that he's writing for an audience here and not for educational purposes.

“I think not. It was his brow which I saw so clearly as it was pressed against the window.”

When you press against something though, your skin goes white. That's a thing. No one looks normal when their pressing themselves against glass.

I [...] contrived to bring my nose within a foot of the gloves. Yes, it was undoubtedly from them that the curious tarry odour was oozing.

So presumably he's been doing something with his hands. Medicine? Drugs?

Oh, that's 'tar-like' not 'tarry' as in a specific thing I've never heard of. That's... actually more concerning. Why has he been handling tar?

Alas, that I should have to show my hand so when I tell my own story! It was by concealing such links in the chain that Watson was enabled to produce his meretricious finales.

Lol. The lampshading is excellent.

He held our cards in his hand, and he tore them up and stamped on the fragments.

Such a respectable grown adult. Stamping his feet and having a tantrum because some people arrived at his door.

I took out my notebook and scribbled one word upon a loose sheet. “That,” said I as I handed it to Colonel Emsworth, “is what has brought us here.”

Oh my god, Holmes, just fucking tell us. Is the word the name of the illness Godfrey has?

But we do get a passage about ears... which will have to suffice, I suppose.

I think Holmes is enjoying being the narrator a little too much.

[runningfrom2am]

When I was 17, I was reading smut and stuff, but when I turned 18, I was like, finally, I can read smut and not feel guilty. And now I'm 19 and thriving ✨️

dude like i love the space we’ve created now on here where we’re like “if you’re under 18 STAY AWAY FROM THIS POST” bc back in my day (when i made this blog at 13 years old) that was like,, not a thing and i would have appreciated it bc it did BAD things to my mental health. (not that the smut was the problem- the problem was my mom finding it on my phone when i was 17 and making me read it to her and then calling me disgusting and a freak and telling me i needed serious help but then refusing to get me any kind of help.) so literally until THIS YEAR (i’m 23) it was always so shameful and i felt guilty and embarrassed but now we are so back LOL

like i used to think she was right, but now that i have an almost fully cooked adult brain i can see she was kinda fucked for that… like when i have kids if i find smut on their phone i wouldn’t even be mad? like its so so normal and literally nothing to be ashamed of at all. like maybe i would be mad but only bc they didn’t respect the authors mdni warnings hahahah

sorry to lowkey trauma dump on y’all oops-

BUT this is a good place for a reminder: i am 23, i am not a minor, but i will never write nsfw content, and if i do reblog it (i will never reblog smut!) i will make the authors mdni warnings obvious. SO my blog is safe for everyone, my fics are for everyone, but please, please, if you are under 18 mind all my cw tags closely and keep yourself safe! everyone is responsible for their own media consumption, but i will try my hardest to make sure this is a safe space :)

[punkshort]

first of all thank you so so much for answering literally

second of all he has a girlfriend so i sincerely hope its not like that

3rd he does this about lana too just undermines all her work to her loving older men and her lyrics are weird cuz of her song called cola

4rth his comments and behavior about me liking pedro and joel just made me feel awful and dirty like i was doing something so tainted idk i just i know i felt guilty

this is my last mssg about this cuz i dont wanna take advantage and bother you lol i will just mssg you about your work next time thank you for your nice and kind words

also why i didnt fight with him is i am an extreme people pleaser and hate confrontation tehee

also also saw the support on the post so i love all of y’all from the bottom of my heart

Awww please don't feel like you're taking advantage or bothering me because you're not, I promise!

There's really nothing wrong with being attracted older men. I don't really get why he's so offended by it, either, because it really sounds like he's the one with the problem at this point (especially when you add the Lana thing into it).

When I was like, 20, I had the biggest crush on Chris Meloni and he's 27 years older than me. Was I out there fucking a guy 30 years older than me? No. But his character on SVU was a comfort character, as I'm sure Pedro's characters are to you and many of us. We maybe (def me) have men in our lives who have treated us badly and we look to older male characters who are strong and protective to heal that wound in us. It's very natural and I don't think there's anything wrong with it (unless like someone pointed out you're stalking Pedro or you are taking it too far and letting it impact your life).

Having our silly little daydreams and fantasies isn't hurting anyone and I'm sorry your friend doesn't understand that or thinks it's weird but of all the things we could be doing, reading and writing about fucking Joel Miller is incredibly tame.

Please don't feel awful or dirty, there's nothing wrong with it. I guess if it's a problem with him and he wants you to throttle it back, then maybe don't mention it in front of him, but it's just a shame he can't be a good friend and just roll with it, I'm sorry ❤️

[multifandomconfusion]

The Family Jewels Songs as The Crows

Kaz - Numb

Kaz Brekker is practically the embodiment of this song because he has tried to numb himself entirely.

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Kaz:

Oh, I get dark / Oh, and I'm in Hell / I need a friend / Ooh, but I can't yell / Yeah, I'm no good / No good to anyone / ‘Cause all I care about / Is being number one

Far gone families, far gone friends, / That's how it started, and how it ends / I can't open up and cry / ‘Cause I've been silent all my life

I feel numb most of the time, / The more I get the higher / I'll climb, and I will wonder why / I got dark only / To shine / And I'll light up the sky / Stars that burn the brightest / Fall so fast and pass you by / Spark like empty lighters.

Inej - Rootless

Inej has been separated from her home and family for much of her life. I would guess that she feels homeless and like she doesn't belong anywhere which is discussed in this song.

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Inej:

I'm a Cloud drifting by / Dripping Tears from the Sky / I'm a Snail without a Shell / A Leper with a golden Bell / I've got nowhere to go / I'm a stray cat on the roam / Choking on a chicken bone / For a home sweet, no sweet home

Running with my roots pulled up / So they could cut me free of love

Dragging my roots through the snow / No home-sweet and no sweet home / I've got nowhere to go / I'm rootless, I'm rootless

Wylan - The Family Jewels

Wylan obviously has a very rocky and difficult relationship with his family, specifically his father. This song fits him amazingly.

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Wylan:

I can't break the cycle, am I just a fool? / Falling down like dominoes, hit by family jewels / Pass it down from kid to kid, the chain will never end / 'Less I decide to go to it, will I see the end?

Ooh, don't you find it strange? / Only thing we share is one last name / Did I beat you at your own game? / Typical of me to put us all to shame

Oh, you think I'm unfit / Little did you know that I was cut for it / No glass slipper will ever fit

And literally the entire song.

Jesper - Shampain

This song combines the words shame and pain to represent the word champange. What could be more Jesper?

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Jesper:

Drinking champagne to forget yesterday / Coz I remember, the way, the way, the way / It ended the day, the day, the day, the day / That I walked away, away, away, away

Drinking champagne, meant for a wedding / Toast to the bride, a fairytale ending / Drinking champagne, a bottle to myself / Savor the taste of fabricated wealth

Matthias - Guilty

This song is about guilt and Matthias clearly struggles with guilt over all the terrible things he's done to Grisha, and in contrast how he betrayed his country. It also involves the imagery of a dog, which makes me think of Trassel. And it talks about dead family.

Lyrics That Remind Me of Matthias:

I was dreaming something dark / Hiding body parts / A broken dog, a broken leg / I left it cold, I left it dead

I was just a kid / That you could not forgive / Because it's harder / I was just a kid / And all I really wanted / Was my father

Guilty on the run / And I know what I have done / Guilty on the run / And I'm never forgiven

Nina - Seventeen

Nina is highly outspoken and opinionated just like the narrator of this song. Also she's seventeen lol.

Lyrics That Remind Me Of Nina:

You're a rich little boy / Who's had to work for his toys / You've got all the sensibilities / Of an upper class guy / No I'm not your little slave / No I don't twist and turn that way / Only got bad things to say / You're always asking what is up with me

Oh, you are embarrassed of me / ‘Cos I use my tongue freely / Bet you wish I couldn't speak / ‘Cos when I do, you know / I tell you why you're being weak

You teach me how to behave / I felt you question the way / I was brought up as a baby / Well you don't know fuck about my family

[littencloud9]

4, 6, 13

@frankenjoly MY FINGER SLIPPED AND I ACCIDENTALLY ANSWERED YOUR ASK BEFORE I TYPED IT FULLY AKHSK SORRY. here it is again

4. with dialogue i'm proud of

from an sskk highschool AU that has been rotting in my docs for 9 months ish by now

Akutagawa scoffs. “You’re still a fool, if that’s why you live. The words of your past shouldn’t define you as a person now.” “And why not? They shaped who I am.” “But they aren’t who you are. If you let him torture you forever, you’ll never find yourself outside of him.” “…Sometimes I wish I could kill him with my bare hands. I think I’d be a little more at peace,” Atsushi admits. He sounds terribly guilty for saying something that Akutagawa wholeheartedly agrees with.  “Don’t sound so put off about it. I’d think the same. Yet you can’t, because it’s nonsensical, and you’d have to live with the blood stained on your hands forever. But there’s strength in being able to move on without closure. I think you have that.” “Oh.” Atsushi’s fingers finally unclench. He huffs. It sounds like a meek laugh. “You know, Akutagawa. I think we’re pretty similar in some aspects.” Akutagawa wrinkles his nose. “Don’t compare me to you, fool.”  “Yeah, whatever.” Atsushi’s smile grows and he falls back into that dumb loser Akutagawa’s more familiar with. “And for the record, you don’t need to be jealous. I like you just the way you are now.” “Hm.” They don’t exchange any words after that, but Akutagawa feels his body relax and Atsushi shifts a little closer.

6. that i struggled with, but triumphed over

from an itafushi college/coffeeshop AU! for someone online all the time, i have such a hard time writing about social media stuff lol

"Hey. Post a selfie on your story." "Why the fuck would I do such a thing." "If Itadori likes it, it means he's interested," Kugisaki tells him, fully serious. "Come on. Trust me on this one. Your eyeliner looks really good today, anyway." "No. I hate being perceived." "Do it!" "No!" Kugisaki stands up, and suddenly there's a camera in Megumi's face and the flash goes off. He jumps, glaring at Kugisaki. The bane of his existence, he swears. "I'll tag you!" she says, sounding much too delighted. Megumi hopes she slips on a puddle and dies.

13. that helped me understand a character better

from desert to ice floe (i will follow)

Perhaps that’s why it’s so easy to write it off as an ability. To pretend it’s something he cannot control and that it’s actually a gift. It’s nice to use what he has without people shaming him for it, all by calling it a blessing instead of a curse. Maybe that’s why he fell into this rabbit hole of lies and keeps putting up this front.  It’s just easier. Ranpo just… “I just lied,” he says lamely. “And it kept going. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

send me asks!

[angelpuns]

Sorry this is like super late but RA was v tired today, my bones hurt lol- but if u are ever feeling like shit PLEASE!!! RANT SOMEWHERE!!! If u want to talk to someone u can just put all your feelings in my askbox if u want to know someone will at least hear them! pls! Be nice to yourself! You're allowed to be upset wherever the fuck you wanna be! You don't owe anyone happiness! RRGGGHGKMJNHB BE SAD WHEN YOU NEED TOO!!! IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER QUCIKER >:c Pls pls pls drink at least a LITTLE water today, v excited to see all the rants about HMV today, don't u frickin dare feel guilty about being sad/upset publicly (unless it's like an uncomfy thing, then I get it) but pls, take care of urself <3333333333

RIP TO YOUR BONES RA (i feel that tho)

I just have a lot of shame when it comes to be upset publicly- like I appreciate comfort but I feel guilty/bad about getting it or even asking for it?? idk it's hard to explain. I have a lot of trouble asking for stuff like that and then when I get it I somehow feel worse-

Anyway I am no longer in the trenches so to speak ( I am back to true neutral lmao) but I still appreciate this ;-; and I'm gonna try not to feel bad about it hgghhghghh

This ask gives off huge 'I'm gonna get you' vibes /pos

I promise I'm taking care of myself as well as I can!

[fatimaah]

And time can do cruel things with friends, especially when they're apart

They have changed so fucking much .

Literally bought a FUCKING KFC and okay that's a choice but brought it to MY house!? They fucking knew too well I was boycotting, they fucking saw my stories about dying children of Palestine and still fucking did it!? The best thing, they got me burger from a local shop and we're like "ur boycotting so we got u this" yeah enjoy ur genocide while I call u my friend

FUCK I don't think I even like them anymore.... I shouldn't take it to extreme but how should I watch them fucking eating from a company that payes for murder . Fucking gurls in Palestine are dying, the same age as us, with the same hobbies and we're living and not even boycotting. Fucking not fair what's wrong with my old friends

It was a bad idea don't wanna see them anymore. My family is dying in Palestine. They my family. My ummah. I feel so guilty to the point that I wish just die of shame.

They are fucking dying, fucking dying of starvation how should I be living with it I swear I will throw this fucking KFC in the trash. I swear I wanna end myself how dare me calling them to my house FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKK

edit:

I am happy I talked it out with my current friends, I don't know what I'd do if I would have to sleep with this sadness, with this sharp pain in my heart.

Everyday I feel more and more free around them, I feel like I can completely just be myself around them and then I think what if one day, after we finish school and become adults, they will change as well and will be rude and will talk shit about me w their boyfriends. I hope not, I don't wanna know them if they wanna change for the bad as well . At this point- I don't want anyone if people will hurt me like that...

(lol I'm not hurt really but I just don't like the fact that I lost all my love, all the love I had for my old friends is gone and there just an empty hole in my heart and I can't fill it with hatred because how can I hate those girls? I am incapable of hating I think, really don't know why)

This was a wild day.... really wild day, hope tomorrow something good will happen at school.

April 19, 2024

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 1x05 review -- if i can't have conrad there's always jere

Belly, I'm sure they gave you a schedule. You knew there was going to be dancing.

Also details like Belly is seemingly fine with Nicole stepping in to be her dance partner during rehearsal but she should feel if not guilty then at least awkward around her so she almost kissed Conrad.

This is why Taylor says that you're self-absorbed and don't care about anyone else, Belly.

Also, it's wild to me that your best friend will have that conversation with you and then you proceed to make a woman's funeral about yourself. Where is the self-reflection?

Like you were all "omg what am I going to text Conrad, what emoji should I put with my text" and you're just ... dancing with Nicole?

And anons want to ask why we hate Belly when we've liked messy teens before? SERENA HAD MORE SHAME. SERENA. And Serena had moments, man, where it was just like, I don't know why you're mad at Blair, you slept with her boyfriend.

"Does Jere take anything seriously?" "Yeah, food and flirting" SOUND JEALOUS, STEVEN

Every time Jeremiah is supposed to be extroverted and fun-loving and charming, I'm just like

Conrad, you MUST know that Nicole would be where Belly is since she was a deb and you took her to the deb ball last summer.

I also like the blatant advertisement for Alexa.

You two are terrible. NICOLE IS RIGHT THERE.

Then Conrad texting Belly and Belly grinning with Nicole right there?

"You think I was just a petty fuck." "You're hotter than he is." She's not wrong. All of these pretty Black women/women of colour (and girls) and these basic to ugly white men (and boys) on TV. It needs to be stopped.

"If Shayla called you right now" -- jealous boyfriends.

Nicole is the one who's being played hot and cold.

Jeremiah telling her to bring him to a Frank Ocean concert knowing that he likes Belly is not fair to her, like in terms of the drama that would cause with Conrad and Belly, I don't care because they're both being terrible but Nicole does not deserve this.

"I mean we grew up together so I always thought of her as this little kid but now ... she's not." a) that sounds way creepier than intended like some Jacob and Renesmee shit b) they honestly should've done more to indicate that he's really seeing her now. Like I obviously know he's supposed to because of all the dialogue around how she's pretty now from everyone else and "omg Belly you look SO hot" in a simple, cutesy floral tank top but I mean if it's going to be Annie and Jeff then be Annie and Jeff.

Of course Annie and Jeff actually had tension

At least be Josh and Cher

COME ON, MAN.

"I'm bummed but I'll be fine" because Belly is terrible.

Cam does not deserve the lyrics to this song he was nothing but NICE to Belly if anything this song should be playing with Cam walking away.

I just find it super lazy to rely on portraying the munchies to show how high they're supposed to be.

Is Jere supposed to be Puck or something?

Lol when your mom puts you in the friendzone with your crush.

"Well I'm sure you got a perfect score" *laughs* oh we're doing racism in this episode. And it was actually done well. Just not when it's antiblackness which isn't surprising

"How come no one ever wants to play with me?" she booped you on the nose bro.

ok finally. something that is ACTUALLY hot and cold. "i'm not waiting for you anymore" does he know she'd been waiting for him?

Also not waiting for him shouldn't then mean making out with Jere.

"What happened to the boy I loved since I was ten" well Belly either he always knew you liked him and ignored it because he didn't see you the same way even when he was idk nicer I guess or he was clueless that you liked him but either way you never had his affection before this.

Also I like how in season 2 Jere was all I USED TO LOOK UP TO YOU EVERYONE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN ME IN EVERYTHING and there is literally nothing to suggest any of those dynamics this season.

I can't fuck things up with Belly and treat her like shit but you know who I can do that to? Nicole.

Well if I can't get attention from one brother then I can from the other. "Susannah said when I was born she knew I was destined for one of her boys. I always thought it'd be Conrad" but Jere's the one in front of me so. You didn't think about him at ALL Belly.

It's funny actually watching the pool kiss because it's actually quite short and tame.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

this is just my own personal reaction to the post i reblogged earlier about how it's acceptable to sub-post but not to dom-post

i definitely HAVE seen textposts from the perspective of both doms and subs, clearly fantasy fiction but both have the capacity to squick me, personally, not just dom-leaning ones.

For example, if i see a sub saying "i want someone to drug me up and use me however they want" im like whoa lol... okay... cannot relate but the post is Not About Me, i just scroll past. (i have nearly verbatim seen this post)

if i see a dom saying "you're gonna drink what i tell you to drink and then i'm gonna use you" i'm going to have basically the same reaction. because drug-related scenes are Not My Thing, I am not against it conceptually (i do think this type of play needs to be treated seriously with safeguards in place when done irl) but seeing as I have 0 interest in, it's not something i'm into, I am sort of like "oh god" and then scroll past.

And maybe it's because i've only gotten one foot in the door with BDSM anyway, i'm not involved deeply in the community here on tumblr, the history of BDSM is vast and hard to track, and the scene in real life around me isn't super strong. I've, in my short time, received tons of mixed messages from people in different areas of the community honestly.

i find it hard to make any sort of judgments on what "the BDSM community" contends with at large, because it's filled with tons of basically anonymous voices saying things, some of which directly contradict each other. ever since i started trying to educate myself more this is my experience.

so on that.... i just think maybe the social acceptability of saying "subby" things is still not that high? i've definitely seen folks on tumblr claim that people making certain sub fantasy posts are feeding into what is essentially rape apologism because they give people the wrong idea about consent. it might be relatively socially acceptable to say "step on me mommy" in a memey way in the mainstream, but i've seen tons of people criticisming others for doing this and saying they need to cut that shit out- and for what it's worth, putting something like that Unsolicited on someone else's photo is Not a cool thing to do generally. only with permission should people be making those sort of comments.

it might be relatively socially acceptable in certain circles on tumblr to say things like "i just want someone to drug me up and use me" but i'm also sure if this broke containment people would be put off. Doms should be able to express their desires in just as theoretical way, I believe people when they say at the very least that there are LESS posts of that nature from dominant people.

but I also, lastly, at the same time, don't think it's that strange for some Doms to have guilt or weird feelings around their desire to "hurt" their loved ones or individuals they care about even when they both want it. it IS an interesting, perhaps 'odd' impulse from either side of things- to want to mesh pleasure and pain. maybe on average more subs have dealt with that and reconciled it. I, as a bottom but not quite true 'submissive', personally sure the fuck haven't. As a recovering catholic, I feel guilty about any and all desires half the time, 'odd' or not.

i don't think Doms should sit or wallow in that guilt, ideally, I think, they'd work on aftercare (or beforecare, during care, etc) with their play partner(s) to help come to terms with the fact their desires are not inherently bad. but nobody, sub, Dom, etc. can just instantly absolve themselves of that. surely, with a community of people around you, it may come easier or faster, but I think ultimately most of us will have to continuously reconcile with the guilt and shame tied up in any and all side of the sexual equation.