#AND FUCK YOU MILTANK

[butjesswhy]

"wow dragonite must be your favorite pokémon for you to spend hours playing the voltorb game to get a dratini so early in the game"

me, tired of losing to some pink haired lady and her fucking cow: dragon rage

[adcraball-a]

^ accidentally cheese'd whitney

[pokemonshelterstories]

based on my inbox right now you'd think every trainer in johto needs therapy about this

What's a pokémon who people think is harmless despite it being very dangerous? (That's not stufful or Bewear)

honestly? people underestimate the danger of most pokemon. some of the most dangerous pokemon in the world are starter pokemon that haven't been well-trained because they're "easy pokemon," which sounds reasonable until you have a charmander setting your house on fire

but, in the spirit of the question...miltank. people underestimate them because they're domesticated and generally well-trained in captivity to facilitate milking. but miltank are strong and faster than you'd expect, and they can become aggressive quickly, especially when they have a calf. there's a reason a large number of farm injuries involve miltank! theyre large prey pokemon that tend to kick first and ask questions later. and if you get trapped between an agitated miltank and a wall...well, it's probably not going to end well for you.

[spyres]

bootleg pokemon advent calender review

so my mom got me this pokemon-themed advent calender filled with a bunch of bootleg figurines earlier this month and i opened the first door at the time but i completely forgot about it until now. so with it being christmas eve i thought it would be fun to go through each figurine for funsies because i'm utterly fascinated with what i got.

day one: muk

this was the only one i had knowledge of throughout the entire month. at first i was thinking "well if you look at it as muk's shiny then it could be passable" before remembering that muk's shiny is green and not blue. regardless, congrats to muk on the blue goo and pronouns. 3/10

day two: reuniclus

i can never spell this damn thing's name. i was pleasantly surprised to see reuniverse though, as it was evident that this calender wasn't going to just be filled with gen one pokemon like i suspected. gen five was actually tied with gen one for the most figurines with six, surpringly! unfortunately there's nothing after gen six though, not even any regional variants.

back to reunicorn, this is definitely on the higher end just for being the correct colour lmao. the bottom part of reunionize does not look like that though. 8/10

day three: clefairy

one of the better figurines for sure! while it's still evidently of bootleg quality, it could feasibly pass as official just for being the correct colours. her doing the little metronome dance from the anime in her posing is a nice touch too! 9/10

day four: tyrunt

oh my god they poured tar on him. why are his eyes soulless. he looks possessed. this makes me sad i don't like this one. 2/10

day five: dedenne

she's a little confused but she's got the spirit, i think. needs to be more orange but i guess looking like you're made of cheese is fitting for a mouse-like creature. 6/10

day six: miltank

ohhh i really hate this thing. i'm not a miltank hater by any means but this one looks gross and mouldy to me. girl go have a bath. 1/10

day seven: arbok

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY GIRL!!!!!! SHE'S FUCKING NAKED!!!!!! sure they got the colour right but they stole her patterns!!! her most stunning feature!!!!!! she was proud of those patterns!!!! AND THEY STOLE THEM FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hatred and anger/10

day eight: primeape

i don't want to make any comments about the eyes since i don't have strabismus, but i like that they kept his anger. the personality still manages to shine through here. the rest of the figurine is just. whatever. not the worst but not the best just completely average. 5/10

day nine: pansage

sorry the picture is ass i don't want to retake it lol. confession: while i don't really have any strong opinions on the elemental monkeys compared to a lot of fans, i do have a bit of a soft spot for pansage because i think he's adorable. rewatching the bw anime a few years back awoke that in me, and i think this one is pretty cute too! something about the :3 face just gets to me. despite missing its cream colouring, i think one is pretty solid overall! 7/10

day ten: victini

behold the extremely rare and powerful mythical pokemon victini! truly a marvel to witness! anyway i don't like that it's missing its teeth but it's okay i guess. 4/10

day eleven:

i don't really have much to say on this one tbh? i like that they gave it a stand since it would just fall over with those stubby little legs i guess but i just. don't see anything to really talk about here. 3/10

day twelve: grumpig

not as soulless-looking as tyrunt was, and maybe it's helped partially by grumpig already having some dark grey in its usual colour scheme so it doesn't look thaaat unusual, but it's still not a good one. 3/10

day thirteen: slowking

gives me the same gross and mouldy vibes as miltank but not as bad i think. i like the pose. i don't think i've ever seen slowking cross its arms like that in any official pokemon media or merch so there's some points for uniqueness. 4/10

day fourteen: darumaka

my son murngus who i fed a ball. i love this thing. this is peak. we're never getting any better than this. tpci should make this official merch. love and peace/10

day fifteen: swirlix

this is my daughter white boy. while i have criticisms with the lumps being too pronounced (they should be softer and more subtle imo) and the lack of feet, i honestly kinda love this one? it reminds me of those pathetic white dogs that look like they'll fall over if you breathe on them too hard, and while the big bumps don't give the image of candy floss like they're supposed to, this reminds me of a cloud in a way, which is still lovely to think about. 9/10

day sixteen: beartic

who hurt you beartic. the colours are right at least but. the face. 3/10

days seventeen, eighteen and nineteen: croconaw, totodile, feraligatr

i got the whole family one after another so might as well cover them together.

croconaw: the sniler...... croconaw manages to be the definition of both creepy AND wet here. it's unsettling a little bit but it gives it some personality. 6/10

totodile: i do not like that mouth whatsoever. what the fuck. 2/10

feraligatr: i have to question why feraligatr is a slightly different shade of blue than its younger siblings but that's neither here nor there. it's alright but the eyes are a bit unnerving to me. 4/10

day twenty: chimchar

the only gen four pokemon of the batch, which is sad for me as a gen four fan. it's fine but this one lacks chimchar's signature flame tail. unfortunate since chimchar canonically farting out fire is a key characteristic to me. 5/10

day twenty one: gothitelle

i look like this irl. not really much to complain about with this one side from the lack of a mouth and the face being white rather than purple. i like the complete and utter torment in her eyes. i could fix her fr. 7/10

day twenty two: grovyle

dedicating this one to my fellow pmd fans! they fucking peeled our lad!! the pose is kinda cool though. 6/10

day twenty three: aurorus

this one is a falls into the category of ugly cute to me. they used the wrong shade of blue but it's still fine imo. i simultaneously like the eyes but also don't like them. i'm very conflicted on how i feel about the finer details of this one but it's okay overall imo. 6/10

day twenty four: psyduck

ngl i was kinda hoping for something special for the last one. maybe delibird to go with it being for christmas, or another legendary/mythical, but i've been rewatching the anime again recently and they are so fucking mean to misty's psyduck that it's borderline unpleasant to watch at times, so you know what? psyduck deserves this.

it's pretty alright for a bootleg too. they got all the colours and key details right, even if it's rather shoddy, so i'll be generous with this one. 9/10

if you read all of this then thank you for joining me on this journey. i'm so glad i spent christmas eve deciding to review shitty knock-off pokemon merch rather than celebrating with my friends and family. and i'm very sorry that i released these beasts from their prison and have made them everyone else's problem now.

[skullkxd]

“Who the fuck gives a child work for Halloween?!

dishonor on you. Dishonor on your miltank. Dishonor on your family.”

Man, fuck Faba.

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Me roasting Sinnoh.

Turtwig: The most forgettable grass starter.

Grotle: Why aren't you ground type!?

Torterra: The weight of the world must weigh heavily on your back.

The cimchar line: Monkey...

Piplup: Noot noot!

Prinplup: Are the growths on your face painful?

Empoleon: The short king pokemon.

Starly: I don't see any stars on you.

Staravia: The fact that I can't think of any way to roast you shows how forgettable you are.

Staraptor: AKA, the emo bird.

Bidoof: I'll give you some respect for creating such a cult following.

Bibarel: How does it feel to be the most commonly used HM slave?

Kricketot: I think you're wearing your bib backwards.

Kricketune: And the reward for most ridiculous cry goes to...

Shinx: Holy shinx, I can't believe you're not a lion pokemon.

Luxio: Looks like this cat's going through an emo phase.

Luxray: The "why isn't this dark type" pokemon.

Budew and Roserade: Why were neither put in the same generation as your middle evolution?

Cranidos and Rampardos: Talk about total egg head.

Shielding and Bastiodon: How are either of you able to balance with those heavy shields on your face?

Burmy: You look really goofy without your cloak.

Wormadam: You can either have "Bigger Bush, Pizza slice, or "Why is this steal type? "

Mothim: How's stealth rock going for you?

Combee and Vespiquen: Finally, some bee pokemon that actually look like bees.

Pachirisu: Hide your seedots.

Buizel and Flotzels: I think these two got lost on their way to Sega.

Cherubi: The fact that the big cherry has to eat the small cherry to evolve is kinda fucked up.

Cherrim: Remember when this pokemon was impossible to catch in Legends Arceus?

Shellos and Gastrodon: Why do both forms have such beef with each other?

Ambipom: Ah, yes. The first of the many cross gen evolutions added to make weak pokemon stronger.

Drifloon: This pokemon is the definition of hide your kids.

Drifblim: Ah, a blimp, how scary!/s

Buneary: Its fur looks like it would make some top notch earmuffs.

Lopunny: This pokemon definitely wouldn't pass the censors nowadays.

Mismagius: This pokemon is the Whitney's miltank of the Paldea region.

Honchkrow: This pokemon takes the term neck beard too literally.

Glameow: Why would you give a cat eyeliner?

Purugly: Why are people calling this the ugliest pokemon when Loudred exists!?

Chingling: The first of the handful of random baby baby pokemon that were showhorned into gen 4.

Stunky and Skuntank: The fart joke pokemon.

Bronzor and Bronzong: These two have to be the most forgettable pokemon from gen 4.

Bonsly: Look ma, no hands!

Mime Jr: Was this pokemon really necessary?

Happiny: Why was this one of Brock's pokemon when it's not even rock type?

Chatot: Remember when you could make this pokemon swear?

Spirtomb: How does it feel having the fairy type take away your gimmick of having no weaknesses?

The gible line: I exist, so I must bite.

Munlax: Excuse me, but the Muppet show is auditioning in the other room.

Riolu: It is more useful than most baby pokemon.

Lucario: Gamer's first fur bait pokemon.

Hippoptas: How was Ash able to carry one on his head!?

Hippowdon: I wonder how many people mistook the female version for a shiny.

Skorupi: Sure, let's remove any scary aspect of a scorpion. Why not?

Darapion: Do the arms coming out of your head hurt?

Crogunk and Toxicroak: One Psybeam and you're dead.

Carnivine: It's incredibly ironic that this pokemon is weak to bug types despite also eating them.

Finneon and Lumineon: 💤💤💤

Mantyke: I can't get over how this pokemon looks high off its ass.

Snover: One ember and you're dead.

Abomasnow: I wonder if people decorate this pokemon for Christmas.

Weavile: Look at this Shadow the hedgehog wannabe.

Magnezone: I'm surprised this pokemon doesn't have levitate as one of its abilities.

Lickilicky: It's ironic that your tounge's shorter than your pre evolution's.

Ryperior: Insert Rhyferior joke here.

Tangrowth: This pokemon looks like it would be used by hippies.

Electivire: The electric yeti.

Magmortar: It looks like it has an easter egg for a body.

Togekiss: This pokemon has been arrested for joy dust trafficking.

Yanmega: This looks like it could be dragon/bug type.

Leafeon: Photosynthesis....Photosynthesis....

Glaceon: It's sucks that you can't get this pokemon until really late into the game.

Mamoswine: Mmm prehistoric bacon...

Porygon-Z: This is why you don't download Windows on your Porygon2.

Gallade: You know you only exist so that insecure men don't have to worry about their male gardevoirs making them question their precious sexualities, right?

Probopass: This pokemon is smashing.

Frolass: And you only exist to make the reason gallade exists less obvious.

Rotom: It's name is just Motor backwards.

Uxie, Mesprit, and Azelf: These pokemon look more like mythicals than legendaries.

Dialga: So are they friends or enemies with Celebi?

Palkia: The "why is this water type" pokemon.

Hetran: Why was this pokemon the first legendary to have a gender ratio?

Regigigas: The pokemon with the most crippling ability.

Giratina: It has a worm form.

Cresselia: The most beautiful rubber ducky.

Phione: The most unnecessary mythical.

Manaphy: Why was this given a baby pokemon?

Dakrai: Definition of "Ow, the edge".

Shaymin: This looks like a chia pet.

Arceus: You'd think this pokemon would be a legendary rather than a mythical.

[pikachic]

Okay so this has been bugging me for a while now: you said that Jared would have a normal type gym in the Occulus AU, but the man looks like he was made to lead a team of Machamp, Gurrdurr, Hitmonlee, Emboar, Poliwrath and his ace and prolly fursona Buzzwole. I fully support Melanie being a fighting gym leader because god shed pull it off but it physically pains me that Jared doesn't have a team of similarly beefed up weirdos with bulging muscles and veins all over the place. Can you expand a bit about his normal type gym?

...is his team just four Dittos, a Blissey and a Snorlax? Please say yes. That'd be be even more perfect thst a team full of beefcakes.

Actually hang on I think I'm warming up to it as I type. Ditto (shapeshifting), Slaking (big and beefy), Snorlax (big and beefy), Smeargle (steal opponents' moves like Jared steals bones etc), Blissey (big and tanky, plus I think it'd be funny) and either Lopunny, Ambipom or Diggersby for the additional pair of limbs/ears used to punch the shit out of things. Definitely at least one of the three and at least one Ditto.

Yes? No? Maybe? Is that the vibe?

The Normal Type thing was from when I initially started laying down the lore for the AU!

In the first draft of the AU’s gimmick, different Fears were mapped to different Pokémon types, and Pokémon of that type got a sort of Fear-based power boost. These mappings were:

The Eye - Psychic

The Lonely - Ice

The Desolation - Fire

The Dark - Dark (duh)

The Vast - Flying

The Spiral - Electric

The Slaughter - Fighting

The Flesh - Normal

The Hunt - Dragon

The Web - Bug

The Corruption - Poison

The Buried - Ground

The Stranger - Fairy

The End - Ghost

The Extinction - Steel

Because of the nature of the gimmick as it was, I really didn't want to assign two fears to the same type - for example, The Eye and The Spiral can both be Psychic, but I felt like none of the other types fit The Eye as well and The Spiral could be mapped to Electric with some light mental gymnastics (The Spiral is also associated with fractals, fractals -> lightning -> Electric, also something something brain signals)

I assigned The Flesh to Normal because it felt. The fleshiest?? To me? If that makes sense? Like most all people and Pokémon are probably made of meat (I can’t believe I wrote that LMFAO) and I see Normal as a sort of “default” type that kind of. Makes up everything? It’s a bit hard to put into words lol. Normal Type is also a really versatile type, which sort of fits with the shapeshifting aspect of The Flesh

(EDIT: Oh I just thought of the WORST reason why Normal Type fits The Flesh - a good chunk of Pokémon that are based on livestock (Miltank, Tauros, Wooloo, etc) are Normal Types. And The Flesh emerged because of factory farms. It’s so awful but IT WORKS.)

Even when I scrapped the old gimmick I held on to the old type assignments for the gym leaders, which is part of why Jared is the Normal type gym leader

BUT YEAH the vibe for Jared’s team you described is EXACTLY what I was aiming for! :D

Though come to think of it, I could prooobably come up with a beefy Normal/Fighting type Fakemon for Jared to fill that last slot in his team. Maybe something with bone gauntlets :)

OOH I’m also mildly obsessed with the flesh garden episode of magnus so a Fakemon inspired by it could be fun

(I watch a bunch of Fakemon designing videos on YouTube and one I watched recently was horror themed, and the artists talked about how the juxtaposition of a Pokémon that looks really strange and a bit fucked up just being a Normal Type can be leveraged for horror, and I kind of latched onto that idea)

[writeronartblock]

Started playing Pokerogue today, at first I didn't get what's all the hype about...

But half a day in and several failed runs later, I UNDERSTAND

THE ABSOLUTE. RAGE. I GOT WHEN MY SECOND, REALLY GOOD (Wave 30) RUN WAS STOPPED BY WHITNEY

Of all characters, of all trainers, of all gym leaders. MOTHER-FUCKING WHITNEY

FUCK YOUR FURFROU, FUCK YOUR GIRAFARIG

AND IF YOUR LAST POKEMON IS THAT ABHORRENT MILTANK, I HOPE YOU DIE A PAINFUL DEATH AND GO TO HELL

[curse-maniac]

…Man. It hasn't really hit me how relaxed i've been lately.

…I know some of you might hate composure, but… she's the nicest person I know.

For the past few years, I've been overworked with the sanctuary, carrying the world on my shoulders. Sixteen hours day, all day every day, seven hours of sleep, and maybe one hour for free time, But composure?

…She managed to organize and teach a few hundred pokemon out of the thousands I take care of how to help with my job, without my even asking.

I didn't wanna let the pokemon help, because its my job to take care of them, and it felt like if I did, I would've been overworking them, using them for free labor but… They aren't overworked.

Each pokemon thats helped has only taken fifteen minutes out of their day, max to help with the sanctuary, and they're all so much more efficient and better at the jobs than me. I don't have to do nearly as much, only six hours of work a day, and I have three days off a week now thanks to her.

She figured out singlehandedly how the pokemon could help in the fastest, most efficient way possible for me.

Like… an example is the farms. Ground types tilling entire crops worth of soil in a second, water types using a rain dance and fire types a sunny day for watering, and providing the sunlight thats blocked by the trees? Grass types using growth to increase crop yields, and Psychic types harvesting it all in half a second.

And that kinda stuff goes to everything. Hoothoot reminding pokemon to do chores at a certain time each day every day with their sense of time…

Lucario, Ribombee and Hatterene to sense rising tensions and potential fights, and calming them down before they happen…

Tinkaton and sinicha that help with repairs?

Xatu to warn us of any intruders that will appear in the woods?

zoroarks keep our location safe with illusions.

Toxtricity, miya, a mister rime, obstagoon a skeledirge and quaquaval to entertain them all with their performances.

We have gardevoir, chansey, and audino to help heal injured pokemon, and restore them after battle.

We have mimikyu and banette that help with fabric repairs and making clothing.

Like??? She set it up so some Polteageist, sinischa, miltank and a shuckle provide a bar for beverages for fucks sake.

All because of composure, her hard work, intelligence, and effort.

I may run the sanctuary, but without her it wouldn't even be a hundredth as amazing as it is now. It might not even exist, or have been able to keep running because of her.

…She's done so much for me. No matter what I do, I'll never be able to give her the thanks and appreciation she deserves.

[krisispiss]

Hello tumblr user Krisispiss. I wanted you to know that I was the anon who, long ago, before the tumblr porn ban, caught a Miltank and named it BIG MILKY after that one image you made. I wanted you to know that I found her in my old Pokemon Bank save and I transferred her to Alola and released her. BIG MILKY is free. She lives in Alola now.

GOD I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT BIG MILKY IN SO LONG!!!! FUCK!!!! I'M SO GLAD THAT SHES FREE AND LIVING IN THE WILD NOW!!! BIG MILKY FOREVER!!!!

[cursezoroark]

“How much do you know about Mona?”

This is often a question passed from friend to friend. Friend to Enemy. Enemy to friend. Friend to lover. But never strangers. As the interceptor roamed the region, their name spread far and thin, in an almost broken game of telephone. Some spun rumors, some scoffed, some marveled, some praised. But the answer was always different. No matter who it was.

———————————————————————————

“Ah uh-“ Ben rummaged the boxes in the shelves of the barn, glasses of moomoo milk clinking together in harmony. “Hold on- here. Hold this. I know them somewhat yeah. Wandered straight into the barn and fell asleep in a haystack. Woke them up and fed them some of these moomoo milk you’re holding. Went on some weird journeys together, got tackled by an Emboar. And from there we’re friends!”

The farmer opened his own glass of moomoo milk, taking a swig before continuing. “It’s a good thing my intuition was right. Strong, strong trainer they were, enough to carry my Miltank! That kid could lift! I’d say they’re almost perfect to live in a farm, wish we could have kept them to work. Ah well.”

———————————————————————————

“Mona? I know everything. I’m best friends with Mona.” A man with a baseball cap crowed to their peers. In the bustling streets of GDC, he sat inside of a local cafe, petting his Victreebel (who was enjoying a honey milk tea). “We’ve got some tight history, man. My cousin, Oli? Before he passed they would play together all the time. I was their babysitter.”

“Oh yeah. They were shy as fuck. Trembled and shit. Oli and I were able to get them out of it, and then it was just me. Back then we had each others back. Now look at them!”

“Why don’t we keep in contact anymore? Ah well, fallouts. They happen, we lose touch. I’m just proud to see them succeed. I was right to believe in them. Now they’re the big hotshot!”

———————————————————————————

“To be honest? Not much.” Melia admitted. Carefully polishing her pokeballs, she ruminated over the question in an almost hesitant manner. To her side, Hapi chirped softly, before leaning against her.

“Mona is kind. They’re my best friend. And they saved my life more times than it ever should be. Those are three things I know.” One pokeball was set down for another, its polish gleaming under the ceiling light. “They also have a tendency to get lost, be reckless, and come back in days- that’s four.”

“I told them things about me, what I could offer. My childhood, my hobby, my fears, my worries, whatever I could spare, but- sorry Hapi, here- they don’t say much. They never say much, they just listen and it’s so. So. Ugh.”

“I don’t know if it’s hard for them to talk about, or they don’t remember, or if it’s some interceptor Effect, but they just won’t answer me.” Melia began targeting her frustration at a noticeable smudge in Patience’s pokeball. Quickly, the smudge began to stain the cloth, in a crusty, soot color.

“I want them to trust in me. And I’ll keep trying until I die. I’ll answer your question when I get there, ok?”

———————————————————————————

[quishyorgannet]

꧁𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 Kingdom꧂

〖Hello I'm Mack I'm the main manager and creator of this page〗

⟬ We also have Meatza as the 2nd manager. Don't be scared to ask questions, he usually answers ⟭

⫷ Our 3rd manager is Centipede. He helps keep the place clean of the unwanted⫸

𓊈4th manager is Null! He helps me with finding pictures for videos,sorting them, and using them.𓊉

◥ The 5th manager is feathers! He's the scout and explores the lands. He also helps me know who is around and alerts me if anything happens ◤

☑︎ most of my interest are:..

Dragon ball z (mostly Frieza), Dragons, Figures, Pyramid head, Tokidoki unicorno, Littlest pet shop, Webkinz, Roblox (don't expect any post tho), Pokemon, Animal figures, Collecting, Godzilla (ShinGodzilla), Plushies, Jellyfish, Sometimes dinosaurs, Sometimes horses, Httyd, Lioden, Adopt me...

And many many more don't be scared to ask

⚠︎⚠️ keep in mind that I am autistic and I run this post ⚠︎⚠️

DNI: mean people, rude people, racist and ableist Idiots, p3dos, proship and anyone else within those lines

┆I know how people act around me, so don't try anything slick with me. I will delete anything you say to me and block you. So you can kindly fuck off if what in doing makes you mad┆

◄some songs that I like►

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

❤🧡💛💚💙💜(I will only give 1 warning)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

(Will be updating)

!𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬!

Fire heart, gravity, Sisu, perfect cell, SeaSalt, princess diamond, peapod, Dead hook, pupcake, light fury (plush), The mini furies, bacon, petrie, draclin, grindal, stage 0, Necrotomiguad, Darby, зомби, frieza (poster), frieza (plush), Golden friezas, Flower, Pyramid Head, stagnant flesh, ? (Bone marrow), Razor, Sardine, Ivy, Tree willow, suglite, bonez, The Continued, ShinGodzilla, Frieza (glow), sterling, gilda, торт , Peaches De Second, Rufus, plant man, starman, She pisses when she farts, Poundcake, Slinky, Duck, Tapejara, Bunny, Obsidian, Ice Lolly, Mr.Peanut butter, Sliverfish, cherry, little foot, fancy, Mr Peacock, Ms peafowl, itsy, miltank, Sunday, violet, money Neko, lucky, HoneyWaluntShrimp

♡ !𝙶𝚘𝚍𝚜 & 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜! ♡

Moonie, cheesecake, Meatza, centipede, prince cheese(dead) , Gravity, Junebug, люблю , Golden Frieza, Skitterrina, baby sisu, Bleu Cheese, The Hungry, Null, Feathers

⚠️𝚆𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍/𝚓𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚍/killed⚠️

The man in your dreams, Grogar, evil Mack(dead), the hybrids(killed),

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑅𝑢𝑙𝑒𝑟��♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

♕𝑄𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛(s)♕: Mack/Ruthie

♛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔(s)♛: (none)

♔𝑃𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒/𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑠♔: (none)

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

[godinvent]

Hi there I can’t take it anymore this rant must escape my discord

This is one of the worst articles I’ve ever read, and here’s why as someone who’s actually played and beat Whitney in Soul Silver

Also an explanation to people who haven’t played it of why Whitney is infamous for a good reason

This article never actually gives any reason why it’s easy to beat her if you’re “good at playing the game” or what that even means. This is just a glorified tutorial of ways to beat her

All the way it shows to beat her are literally just “try to grab this other Pokémon”

How does this make you “good at playing the game” or show that she’s not hard? As the article itself says, Whitney’s difficulty is in that she plays completely differently from any other gym leader, requiring you instead of using a good strategy to instead just grab a Pokémon of a certain type and praying you win or it’s not affected by Attract

Whitney’s moveset is extremely frustrating and unfair and she’s one of if not the most difficult Pokémon gym leader in the entire franchise. Mainly just because of Miltank of course, and there are dozens of reasons why she’s extremely hard even for those who are good at the game

Miltank has super high stats for a Pokémon at only level 19-20 when you get to her, and by this point there’s barely any Pokémon who get even close to her base stat level of 490. She has high HP and defense and absurdly high speed considering she’s a fatass cow, faster than Arcanine somehow because fuck you. It’s even worse that Miltank is her ace Pokémon as it’s not unlikely you’ll be whittled down at least somewhat by her other Pokémon before you even get a chance to beat her.

Miltank knows Attract, Stomp, Rollout and Milk Drink. Attract basically makes you unable to actually hit Miltank if your Pokémon is of the opposite sex and hit by it, so if you have zero female Pokémon congrats you likely immediately have to go and find a female Pokémon. If that doesn’t stall you, then stomp will while also hurting your ass. Rollout gets more powerful the more it’s used which it will be because of how much you’re stalled, and considering how stupidly fast she is she’s likely always gonna be ahead of you. Finally FUCKING MILK DRINK

It took until SCARLET AND VIOLET for Milk Drink’s PP to be reduced from 10 to 5. She can just heal herself with a large amount of HP TEN. FUCKING. TIMES. IN ONE BATTLE. WITHOUT EVEN USING A POTION. Meanwhile she already has a crazy amount of HP and defense already, so the little amount you are able to hit her when you’re able to, she’ll just heal and make completely invalid.

Also a reason I brought up Soul Silver as what I played specifically is because it undermines this article even more! So as it says, you can grab a ghost type Pokémon to fight against her, or a fighting or rock type. However in Heart Gold Soul Silver, the developers decided you don’t deserve happiness by not only giving her Scrappy, which makes her able to hit Ghost Type Pokémon with Normal Type moves like Stomp they’d usually be immune from, but also gives her a Lum Berry which lets her heal all status effects once per battle. So using any ghost type Pokémon is now completely non-optional, as well as making strategies of status effects also not likely to work. The only way I was able to beat her was by trading a Drowsy with an NPC for a Machop, where I barely won.

Does this sound like a fair challenge to you? How is this “not hard” or playing the game incorrectly? It’s not really hard wired much into the brains of people to get new Pokémon when they lose, it’s usually to play a new strategy such as deciding when to heal or what moves to use or whatever.

This title and the little sentence underneath I guarantee is just 100% clickbait because all this guy actually makes is walkthroughs which is basically what this is. When people say journalism is dead this is what they mean. It’s just lying about what your article is even about, why not just label it as a Whitney walkthrough? Considering how hard she is that would get just as many clicks!

Anyways rant over bye I hope Scott’s pillows have been warm on both sides since 2020

[whichuniverseisthis]

Part two of giving Pokémon to the td cast, this time with Pahkitew Island. I was already picking at straws for some of them. The first part with the reboot cast is here.

Amy: Volbeat - I thought about the two Pokémon people probably confuse the most. You know, beside Silcoon and Cascoon.

Beardo: Tympole - I tried to think about all the sound based Pokémon, and I believe this one is the closest thing to what Beardo does.

Dave: Minccino - This was probably the easiest of them all. A clean freak and a Normal type is just Dave coded.

Ella: Swablu - A singing, little bird with cotton as its wings. Mega Altaria later is even a Fairy type.

Jasmine: Roserade - She wants to open some kind of flower store if I remember correctly, and Roserade is a pretty cool and strong flower Pokémon, it seemed very fitting for her.

Leonard: Dunsparce - People want to believe it's secretly OP, but the truth is it's just a dumb think.

Max: Pancham - A bully who wants to be the bad guy, but can only reach their full evil potential if a more evil creature is with them (Scarlett and other Dark types).

Rodney: Bewear - The biggest, softest bear in existence.

Sammy: Illumise - Look at Amy above.

Scarlett: Malamar - The XY anime probably traumatized me enough for this one. Well, they do have the same hair, I think.

Shawn: Absol - Look, I know Absol is too cool for Shawn, but hear me out: Absol is believed to bring disaster, and Shawn is a doomsayer who thinks the apocalypse is upon us. It's perfect.

Sky: Mienshao - I really had no idea what to give her. Mienshao seemed like the most fitting Fighting type to represent her agility.

Sugar: Oinkologne - I originally wanted to give her a Miltank, but then I found out about this thing (reminder that I haven't played SV) and I couldn't not give a fucking pig to her.

Topher: Sudowoodo - Trying to imitate specific things and failing.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Now these two that came next were my jam. One of the first times I really got hyped for something to release. A whole new world we live in, a whole new place to see. (Do-de-do-da-loo-loo) But the vibes man...the vibes are immaculate. I understand there are some critiques of Johto and Gen 2, I do hear them. I just don't care because the vibes are immaculate. Okay, but seriously because I often think they're a case of not judging based on what the game was trying to do. The idea of generations still wasn't established. Gold/Silver were sequels, and realistically most people probably thought the last ones. The fad couldn't last forever.

Even if Pokemon is still a huge deal, I remember it like this. Just about everyone in my 3rd Grade class had Red, Blue, or Yellow. Just about all of the kids who already played video games regularly got Gold or Silver, by the next year with Crystal...I was kinda weird for getting it. But c'mon, it was the one you could play a girl! By then Yugioh was starting to creep in. But I'm glad we got to have collective fun with GSC. It might not seem like much, but the little IR strip Mystery Gift was a cool, cool social feature for the era. I remember a really fun time we had a chess tournament when these games were hot. So much free swag between rounds. And does anyone remember the Brain boy? It was like, a Pokemon-specific GameShark type device.

This is where the philosophy behind Pokemon design I love emerged. Day/Night cycles, day of the week events...it feels way less important when you can gamify it and you turbo through it all on an emulator. But for how kids used a Game Boy at the time? Oh when you're hopping on for 20 minutes before school every day it's amazing. This like, largely single player MMO vibe is what I love. You gave me a full RPG story to play through, but I have some incentive to keep fucking around. Which I had no trouble doing for Red. I put 100 hours into that, which Dad gave me shit for being proud of. I remember liking the mechanic of roaming legendaries and feeling really accomplished catching the Dogs.

I think this is also why I don't feel the gripe about Kanto. First off, hell yes getting to go to Kanto is awesome. The oft maligned level scaling and new Pokemon being hidden until after the Elite 4 suck as individual design choices in a vacuum, yes. But think about them together. It encourages you to switch up your Champion team. Try new ones and keep your ace around to make sure you stomp the routes no matter what. Use the rematches with people in your phone book. Or shore up the parts of your E4 team lagging behind because you probably got a bit staggered to get through Lance. Not to mention stuff like, Misdreavus is one of my all-time favorites but I get why it's left until Mt. Silver. For the time that was a very weird, experimental type of Pokemon you'd mostly want for link battles. The Johto gym leaders do need a tweak though, but respect for some tough battles like Whitney's Miltank, Claire's Kingdra, or Jasmine's Steelix. Not to mention the verisimilitude angle, maybe I want to feel like the current champion. It doesn't make sense for random trainers to be on Lance's level. The matches do get a little more creative if you don't just stomp everything because you want to avoid grinding for Red.

Once again though, the vibes are immaculate. Johto is made to be enjoyed at this leisurely place because it's very much Kyoto-inspired. The land has too much history to be in a rush and the heavy Japanese flavor is fun!