#AND FUCK YOU MILTANK

[butjesswhy]

"wow dragonite must be your favorite pokémon for you to spend hours playing the voltorb game to get a dratini so early in the game"

me, tired of losing to some pink haired lady and her fucking cow: dragon rage

[adcraball-a]

^ accidentally cheese'd whitney

[bitchapalooza]

My own canon is so special to me *pictures Larry wrapped around young Whitney's finger even tho he's supposed to be her teacher and be stern with her so she'd learn and get better at battling*

[pokemonshelterstories]

based on my inbox right now you'd think every trainer in johto needs therapy about this

What's a pokémon who people think is harmless despite it being very dangerous? (That's not stufful or Bewear)

honestly? people underestimate the danger of most pokemon. some of the most dangerous pokemon in the world are starter pokemon that haven't been well-trained because they're "easy pokemon," which sounds reasonable until you have a charmander setting your house on fire

but, in the spirit of the question...miltank. people underestimate them because they're domesticated and generally well-trained in captivity to facilitate milking. but miltank are strong and faster than you'd expect, and they can become aggressive quickly, especially when they have a calf. there's a reason a large number of farm injuries involve miltank! theyre large prey pokemon that tend to kick first and ask questions later. and if you get trapped between an agitated miltank and a wall...well, it's probably not going to end well for you.

[skullkxd]

“Who the fuck gives a child work for Halloween?!

dishonor on you. Dishonor on your miltank. Dishonor on your family.”

Man, fuck Faba.

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Me roasting Sinnoh.

Turtwig: The most forgettable grass starter.

Grotle: Why aren't you ground type!?

Torterra: The weight of the world must weigh heavily on your back.

The cimchar line: Monkey...

Piplup: Noot noot!

Prinplup: Are the growths on your face painful?

Empoleon: The short king pokemon.

Starly: I don't see any stars on you.

Staravia: The fact that I can't think of any way to roast you shows how forgettable you are.

Staraptor: AKA, the emo bird.

Bidoof: I'll give you some respect for creating such a cult following.

Bibarel: How does it feel to be the most commonly used HM slave?

Kricketot: I think you're wearing your bib backwards.

Kricketune: And the reward for most ridiculous cry goes to...

Shinx: Holy shinx, I can't believe you're not a lion pokemon.

Luxio: Looks like this cat's going through an emo phase.

Luxray: The "why isn't this dark type" pokemon.

Budew and Roserade: Why were neither put in the same generation as your middle evolution?

Cranidos and Rampardos: Talk about total egg head.

Shielding and Bastiodon: How are either of you able to balance with those heavy shields on your face?

Burmy: You look really goofy without your cloak.

Wormadam: You can either have "Bigger Bush, Pizza slice, or "Why is this steal type? "

Mothim: How's stealth rock going for you?

Combee and Vespiquen: Finally, some bee pokemon that actually look like bees.

Pachirisu: Hide your seedots.

Buizel and Flotzels: I think these two got lost on their way to Sega.

Cherubi: The fact that the big cherry has to eat the small cherry to evolve is kinda fucked up.

Cherrim: Remember when this pokemon was impossible to catch in Legends Arceus?

Shellos and Gastrodon: Why do both forms have such beef with each other?

Ambipom: Ah, yes. The first of the many cross gen evolutions added to make weak pokemon stronger.

Drifloon: This pokemon is the definition of hide your kids.

Drifblim: Ah, a blimp, how scary!/s

Buneary: Its fur looks like it would make some top notch earmuffs.

Lopunny: This pokemon definitely wouldn't pass the censors nowadays.

Mismagius: This pokemon is the Whitney's miltank of the Paldea region.

Honchkrow: This pokemon takes the term neck beard too literally.

Glameow: Why would you give a cat eyeliner?

Purugly: Why are people calling this the ugliest pokemon when Loudred exists!?

Chingling: The first of the handful of random baby baby pokemon that were showhorned into gen 4.

Stunky and Skuntank: The fart joke pokemon.

Bronzor and Bronzong: These two have to be the most forgettable pokemon from gen 4.

Bonsly: Look ma, no hands!

Mime Jr: Was this pokemon really necessary?

Happiny: Why was this one of Brock's pokemon when it's not even rock type?

Chatot: Remember when you could make this pokemon swear?

Spirtomb: How does it feel having the fairy type take away your gimmick of having no weaknesses?

The gible line: I exist, so I must bite.

Munlax: Excuse me, but the Muppet show is auditioning in the other room.

Riolu: It is more useful than most baby pokemon.

Lucario: Gamer's first fur bait pokemon.

Hippoptas: How was Ash able to carry one on his head!?

Hippowdon: I wonder how many people mistook the female version for a shiny.

Skorupi: Sure, let's remove any scary aspect of a scorpion. Why not?

Darapion: Do the arms coming out of your head hurt?

Crogunk and Toxicroak: One Psybeam and you're dead.

Carnivine: It's incredibly ironic that this pokemon is weak to bug types despite also eating them.

Finneon and Lumineon: 💤💤💤

Mantyke: I can't get over how this pokemon looks high off its ass.

Snover: One ember and you're dead.

Abomasnow: I wonder if people decorate this pokemon for Christmas.

Weavile: Look at this Shadow the hedgehog wannabe.

Magnezone: I'm surprised this pokemon doesn't have levitate as one of its abilities.

Lickilicky: It's ironic that your tounge's shorter than your pre evolution's.

Ryperior: Insert Rhyferior joke here.

Tangrowth: This pokemon looks like it would be used by hippies.

Electivire: The electric yeti.

Magmortar: It looks like it has an easter egg for a body.

Togekiss: This pokemon has been arrested for joy dust trafficking.

Yanmega: This looks like it could be dragon/bug type.

Leafeon: Photosynthesis....Photosynthesis....

Glaceon: It's sucks that you can't get this pokemon until really late into the game.

Mamoswine: Mmm prehistoric bacon...

Porygon-Z: This is why you don't download Windows on your Porygon2.

Gallade: You know you only exist so that insecure men don't have to worry about their male gardevoirs making them question their precious sexualities, right?

Probopass: This pokemon is smashing.

Frolass: And you only exist to make the reason gallade exists less obvious.

Rotom: It's name is just Motor backwards.

Uxie, Mesprit, and Azelf: These pokemon look more like mythicals than legendaries.

Dialga: So are they friends or enemies with Celebi?

Palkia: The "why is this water type" pokemon.

Hetran: Why was this pokemon the first legendary to have a gender ratio?

Regigigas: The pokemon with the most crippling ability.

Giratina: It has a worm form.

Cresselia: The most beautiful rubber ducky.

Phione: The most unnecessary mythical.

Manaphy: Why was this given a baby pokemon?

Dakrai: Definition of "Ow, the edge".

Shaymin: This looks like a chia pet.

Arceus: You'd think this pokemon would be a legendary rather than a mythical.

[banananutsmuthie]

Oh you like off shoulder. How are you going to take care of "Elite 4"? Is there anything you want to do for "Elite 4?" It seems that they didn't just expose their shoulders lol (They expose a lot of things!)

The Elite 4

Idol(s): Soeun [weeekly], Seoyeon [fromis_9], Yena, Mina [TWICE] Word Count: 800+ words A/N: The dumbest smut you'll read today. You've been warned.

"To be the very best that no one ever was." 

This was the mantra you repeated to yourself when you first left your hometown in your pursuit to sleep with the finest woman in each of the surrounding towns in your region. Along the way, you've collected badges of honor (8 in all)—metaphorical notches in your bedpost, if you will—after each successful sexual conquest. Not a lot of people can say they've done what you have, but now you face a different monster entirely with the "Elite 4", the group of women shouldering the weight of being the finest four in the region.

"Once you start, you have to finish all four of us. Think you can handle that?" Soeun isn't as well known as the other three, but she is still an absolute freak in the bed, worthy of her place in the Elite 4. 

"I think you're the ones who won't be able to handle me," you reply.

She can't help but Pikachu, staring at that blooming Bulbasaur in your pants. She is known for the best Lickitung in the land, so while she doesn't let you have her, she puts that perfectly tight Meowth around your Soodowoodo, masterfully Lickilicky it until you can't hold it in anymore.

"Swellow it," you command Soeun, "all of it." She complies and takes a huge gulp as you move on to the next room, just a little drained, but with enough stamina to carry on with the endurance challenge.

Seoyeon is waiting for you, slightly annoyed and unamused that it takes you this long to get to her.

"Lie down," she says as she pulls down her pants and plants her Cloyster directly onto your face, giving your Geodude a little break. It opens up gently to your sweet Togekiss you plant on it. The taste has a bit of Metang to it, but you enjoy it regardless. Eventually it leads to harsh Lickitung action, until finally, Seoyeon Spewpas all over your face.

Yena is up next. Unlike Soeun and Seoyeon before her, she is a Miltank. She gets on her knees, and you pull Yena's top down to reveal her pink Jigglypuffs. She goads your Rhyhorn with one hand while the other hand fondles your Rotom. It's too much to last even a couple minutes staring at Yena's Jigglypuffs gently swaying in time to the metronome of her jerking hands. When you can't take anymore, you Exploud sweet relief onto her Jigglypuffs.

With only one woman left, you excitedly make your way to the final room where the most beautiful woman is lying on a bed, bored. She looks up excitedly, introducing herself as Mina.

"No one's ever made it this far," she says. "I'm gonna let you have something that none of the other three girls let you have. Mostly because I'm dying for some action but also as a reward for finally making it to the final girl."

Mina slips the spaghetti straps off her shoulders, her dress floating down her slender frame and revealing her perfectly smooth, pink Blissey that's waiting for your Pokéballs to be used on it. 

"Ho-oh, that body looks like trouble," you let out in admiration of Mina's body. 

She curls a beckoning finger toward you and you waste no time in pinning Mina down to the bed. But you want to savor the moment, so at first, it's just a little Slowpoke. Mina lets out a Gastly moan, taking in the pleasure that she's waited for since she first took the throne as leader of the Elite 4.

Two bodies Tangela up in one another as you finally get that sweet reward. You Cubone her hard, and Mina blows hot breath against your ear in Loudred moans of satisfaction. She is almost Weezing from just how good it all feels.

"Fuck, I think I'm gonna cum!" 

At first, Mina's orgasm is just a little Squirtle, but you Beedrill faster into her and it quickly evolves into a huge Blastoise, sullying the pristine sheets beneath her. Her Blissey tightens around your Luvdisc until you are spraying her with all your Seedot. There's Swalot of it. So much in fact that it Dwebbles out of her Blissey.

Your vision blurs in a Drowzee haze until you eventually pass out, unable to go any further. When you wake up, Nurse Joy is there to greet you in an unfamiliar, Unown place.

"What happened?"

"This may sound Farfetch'd, but you passed out, dear. A couple more seconds and you would've conquered the Elite 4. You're gonna have to do them all over again."

"Fuck."

"Yes, exactly. But for now, sit back, relax, and let me take care of you," she Mews, Gulpin on your Luvdisk.

Some would find it Tentacruel and unusual punishment to have to face the Elite 4 again, but you find the situation Tentacool.

[curse-maniac]

…Man. It hasn't really hit me how relaxed i've been lately.

…I know some of you might hate composure, but… she's the nicest person I know.

For the past few years, I've been overworked with the sanctuary, carrying the world on my shoulders. Sixteen hours day, all day every day, seven hours of sleep, and maybe one hour for free time, But composure?

…She managed to organize and teach a few hundred pokemon out of the thousands I take care of how to help with my job, without my even asking.

I didn't wanna let the pokemon help, because its my job to take care of them, and it felt like if I did, I would've been overworking them, using them for free labor but… They aren't overworked.

Each pokemon thats helped has only taken fifteen minutes out of their day, max to help with the sanctuary, and they're all so much more efficient and better at the jobs than me. I don't have to do nearly as much, only six hours of work a day, and I have three days off a week now thanks to her.

She figured out singlehandedly how the pokemon could help in the fastest, most efficient way possible for me.

Like… an example is the farms. Ground types tilling entire crops worth of soil in a second, water types using a rain dance and fire types a sunny day for watering, and providing the sunlight thats blocked by the trees? Grass types using growth to increase crop yields, and Psychic types harvesting it all in half a second.

And that kinda stuff goes to everything. Hoothoot reminding pokemon to do chores at a certain time each day every day with their sense of time…

Lucario, Ribombee and Hatterene to sense rising tensions and potential fights, and calming them down before they happen…

Tinkaton and sinicha that help with repairs?

Xatu to warn us of any intruders that will appear in the woods?

zoroarks keep our location safe with illusions.

Toxtricity, miya, a mister rime, obstagoon a skeledirge and quaquaval to entertain them all with their performances.

We have gardevoir, chansey, and audino to help heal injured pokemon, and restore them after battle.

We have mimikyu and banette that help with fabric repairs and making clothing.

Like??? She set it up so some Polteageist, sinischa, miltank and a shuckle provide a bar for beverages for fucks sake.

All because of composure, her hard work, intelligence, and effort.

I may run the sanctuary, but without her it wouldn't even be a hundredth as amazing as it is now. It might not even exist, or have been able to keep running because of her.

…She's done so much for me. No matter what I do, I'll never be able to give her the thanks and appreciation she deserves.

[krisispiss]

Hello tumblr user Krisispiss. I wanted you to know that I was the anon who, long ago, before the tumblr porn ban, caught a Miltank and named it BIG MILKY after that one image you made. I wanted you to know that I found her in my old Pokemon Bank save and I transferred her to Alola and released her. BIG MILKY is free. She lives in Alola now.

GOD I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT BIG MILKY IN SO LONG!!!! FUCK!!!! I'M SO GLAD THAT SHES FREE AND LIVING IN THE WILD NOW!!! BIG MILKY FOREVER!!!!

[cursezoroark]

“How much do you know about Mona?”

This is often a question passed from friend to friend. Friend to Enemy. Enemy to friend. Friend to lover. But never strangers. As the interceptor roamed the region, their name spread far and thin, in an almost broken game of telephone. Some spun rumors, some scoffed, some marveled, some praised. But the answer was always different. No matter who it was.

———————————————————————————

“Ah uh-“ Ben rummaged the boxes in the shelves of the barn, glasses of moomoo milk clinking together in harmony. “Hold on- here. Hold this. I know them somewhat yeah. Wandered straight into the barn and fell asleep in a haystack. Woke them up and fed them some of these moomoo milk you’re holding. Went on some weird journeys together, got tackled by an Emboar. And from there we’re friends!”

The farmer opened his own glass of moomoo milk, taking a swig before continuing. “It’s a good thing my intuition was right. Strong, strong trainer they were, enough to carry my Miltank! That kid could lift! I’d say they’re almost perfect to live in a farm, wish we could have kept them to work. Ah well.”

———————————————————————————

“Mona? I know everything. I’m best friends with Mona.” A man with a baseball cap crowed to their peers. In the bustling streets of GDC, he sat inside of a local cafe, petting his Victreebel (who was enjoying a honey milk tea). “We’ve got some tight history, man. My cousin, Oli? Before he passed they would play together all the time. I was their babysitter.”

“Oh yeah. They were shy as fuck. Trembled and shit. Oli and I were able to get them out of it, and then it was just me. Back then we had each others back. Now look at them!”

“Why don’t we keep in contact anymore? Ah well, fallouts. They happen, we lose touch. I’m just proud to see them succeed. I was right to believe in them. Now they’re the big hotshot!”

———————————————————————————

“To be honest? Not much.” Melia admitted. Carefully polishing her pokeballs, she ruminated over the question in an almost hesitant manner. To her side, Hapi chirped softly, before leaning against her.

“Mona is kind. They’re my best friend. And they saved my life more times than it ever should be. Those are three things I know.” One pokeball was set down for another, its polish gleaming under the ceiling light. “They also have a tendency to get lost, be reckless, and come back in days- that’s four.”

“I told them things about me, what I could offer. My childhood, my hobby, my fears, my worries, whatever I could spare, but- sorry Hapi, here- they don’t say much. They never say much, they just listen and it’s so. So. Ugh.”

“I don’t know if it’s hard for them to talk about, or they don’t remember, or if it’s some interceptor Effect, but they just won’t answer me.” Melia began targeting her frustration at a noticeable smudge in Patience’s pokeball. Quickly, the smudge began to stain the cloth, in a crusty, soot color.

“I want them to trust in me. And I’ll keep trying until I die. I’ll answer your question when I get there, ok?”

———————————————————————————

[nspdr-neo]

Okay, I know the leaks were crazy, but I still can't get over Skyla being called a "sexy Latina" in some private documents. And neither can she! She has a lot of pent up stress she just can't wait to take out on the next challenger she faces

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

"Stupid media, i-it's not even that big of a deaaaaaaaaal!!" Skyla complained, but the fact remained that, despite her efforts to downplay it, her being Paldean-Unovan was very much a window for fans of all over to start fawning over her even more.

Seriously?!! She was an ace pilot!! Why are people so hung up on the Paldean easpect?!!!

"Grrrrrrr!!! So what if I have big, Miltank-sized, titties that are the size of my head and can cover three Ultra hung-sized dicks at once!?!! So what if my Garvantulan, jiggly, twerkcake is just being covered - barely - by booty shorts?!!! So what if I have such a tight ass tummy and Jumpluff sized lips that can suck you drier than a Heracross to honey!!! Th-there's more to me than that!! I swear!! But I bet you think otherwise, huuuuh?!! Just look at those pants!!! I bet you just wanna explode your creamy, musky, spunk right then and there, right?!!!!!!" She yelled accusingly at her challenger. Hilbert who had just wanted to fight her for the badge, could only remain in silence and a bit of guilt as her words and body pretty much guaranteed he'd have quite the boner showing.

"I knew it!!! I was right!! Well...if it's my body you want-!!!" Stripping down, a frustrated, blushing Skyla posed in front of Hilbert, letting it all hang out in the air~

"Then it's what you'll get as your challenge!! Now...face me trainer!!!! You want a sexy, Latina, pilot to fuck?!!! COME GET HER!!!!" Gulping, Hilbert immediately stripped down.

Ready to face his 'hardest' challenge yet!!!

[fluffyzoey]

OHHH GO KYS GO KYS (/dir. at whitney's miltank. this thing needs to die. this thing. ohhh fuck it fuck it fuck it)

top 3 worst pokemon characters

whitney and her miltank

fucking. whats her name. the bitch that trades you a everstone haunter?

and i forgot the last one

[godinvent]

Hi there I can’t take it anymore this rant must escape my discord

This is one of the worst articles I’ve ever read, and here’s why as someone who’s actually played and beat Whitney in Soul Silver

Also an explanation to people who haven’t played it of why Whitney is infamous for a good reason

This article never actually gives any reason why it’s easy to beat her if you’re “good at playing the game” or what that even means. This is just a glorified tutorial of ways to beat her

All the way it shows to beat her are literally just “try to grab this other Pokémon”

How does this make you “good at playing the game” or show that she’s not hard? As the article itself says, Whitney’s difficulty is in that she plays completely differently from any other gym leader, requiring you instead of using a good strategy to instead just grab a Pokémon of a certain type and praying you win or it’s not affected by Attract

Whitney’s moveset is extremely frustrating and unfair and she’s one of if not the most difficult Pokémon gym leader in the entire franchise. Mainly just because of Miltank of course, and there are dozens of reasons why she’s extremely hard even for those who are good at the game

Miltank has super high stats for a Pokémon at only level 19-20 when you get to her, and by this point there’s barely any Pokémon who get even close to her base stat level of 490. She has high HP and defense and absurdly high speed considering she’s a fatass cow, faster than Arcanine somehow because fuck you. It’s even worse that Miltank is her ace Pokémon as it’s not unlikely you’ll be whittled down at least somewhat by her other Pokémon before you even get a chance to beat her.

Miltank knows Attract, Stomp, Rollout and Milk Drink. Attract basically makes you unable to actually hit Miltank if your Pokémon is of the opposite sex and hit by it, so if you have zero female Pokémon congrats you likely immediately have to go and find a female Pokémon. If that doesn’t stall you, then stomp will while also hurting your ass. Rollout gets more powerful the more it’s used which it will be because of how much you’re stalled, and considering how stupidly fast she is she’s likely always gonna be ahead of you. Finally FUCKING MILK DRINK

It took until SCARLET AND VIOLET for Milk Drink’s PP to be reduced from 10 to 5. She can just heal herself with a large amount of HP TEN. FUCKING. TIMES. IN ONE BATTLE. WITHOUT EVEN USING A POTION. Meanwhile she already has a crazy amount of HP and defense already, so the little amount you are able to hit her when you’re able to, she’ll just heal and make completely invalid.

Also a reason I brought up Soul Silver as what I played specifically is because it undermines this article even more! So as it says, you can grab a ghost type Pokémon to fight against her, or a fighting or rock type. However in Heart Gold Soul Silver, the developers decided you don’t deserve happiness by not only giving her Scrappy, which makes her able to hit Ghost Type Pokémon with Normal Type moves like Stomp they’d usually be immune from, but also gives her a Lum Berry which lets her heal all status effects once per battle. So using any ghost type Pokémon is now completely non-optional, as well as making strategies of status effects also not likely to work. The only way I was able to beat her was by trading a Drowsy with an NPC for a Machop, where I barely won.

Does this sound like a fair challenge to you? How is this “not hard” or playing the game incorrectly? It’s not really hard wired much into the brains of people to get new Pokémon when they lose, it’s usually to play a new strategy such as deciding when to heal or what moves to use or whatever.

This title and the little sentence underneath I guarantee is just 100% clickbait because all this guy actually makes is walkthroughs which is basically what this is. When people say journalism is dead this is what they mean. It’s just lying about what your article is even about, why not just label it as a Whitney walkthrough? Considering how hard she is that would get just as many clicks!

Anyways rant over bye I hope Scott’s pillows have been warm on both sides since 2020

[whichuniverseisthis]

Part two of giving Pokémon to the td cast, this time with Pahkitew Island. I was already picking at straws for some of them. The first part with the reboot cast is here.

Amy: Volbeat - I thought about the two Pokémon people probably confuse the most. You know, beside Silcoon and Cascoon.

Beardo: Tympole - I tried to think about all the sound based Pokémon, and I believe this one is the closest thing to what Beardo does.

Dave: Minccino - This was probably the easiest of them all. A clean freak and a Normal type is just Dave coded.

Ella: Swablu - A singing, little bird with cotton as its wings. Mega Altaria later is even a Fairy type.

Jasmine: Roserade - She wants to open some kind of flower store if I remember correctly, and Roserade is a pretty cool and strong flower Pokémon, it seemed very fitting for her.

Leonard: Dunsparce - People want to believe it's secretly OP, but the truth is it's just a dumb think.

Max: Pancham - A bully who wants to be the bad guy, but can only reach their full evil potential if a more evil creature is with them (Scarlett and other Dark types).

Rodney: Bewear - The biggest, softest bear in existence.

Sammy: Illumise - Look at Amy above.

Scarlett: Malamar - The XY anime probably traumatized me enough for this one. Well, they do have the same hair, I think.

Shawn: Absol - Look, I know Absol is too cool for Shawn, but hear me out: Absol is believed to bring disaster, and Shawn is a doomsayer who thinks the apocalypse is upon us. It's perfect.

Sky: Mienshao - I really had no idea what to give her. Mienshao seemed like the most fitting Fighting type to represent her agility.

Sugar: Oinkologne - I originally wanted to give her a Miltank, but then I found out about this thing (reminder that I haven't played SV) and I couldn't not give a fucking pig to her.

Topher: Sudowoodo - Trying to imitate specific things and failing.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Now these two that came next were my jam. One of the first times I really got hyped for something to release. A whole new world we live in, a whole new place to see. (Do-de-do-da-loo-loo) But the vibes man...the vibes are immaculate. I understand there are some critiques of Johto and Gen 2, I do hear them. I just don't care because the vibes are immaculate. Okay, but seriously because I often think they're a case of not judging based on what the game was trying to do. The idea of generations still wasn't established. Gold/Silver were sequels, and realistically most people probably thought the last ones. The fad couldn't last forever.

Even if Pokemon is still a huge deal, I remember it like this. Just about everyone in my 3rd Grade class had Red, Blue, or Yellow. Just about all of the kids who already played video games regularly got Gold or Silver, by the next year with Crystal...I was kinda weird for getting it. But c'mon, it was the one you could play a girl! By then Yugioh was starting to creep in. But I'm glad we got to have collective fun with GSC. It might not seem like much, but the little IR strip Mystery Gift was a cool, cool social feature for the era. I remember a really fun time we had a chess tournament when these games were hot. So much free swag between rounds. And does anyone remember the Brain boy? It was like, a Pokemon-specific GameShark type device.

This is where the philosophy behind Pokemon design I love emerged. Day/Night cycles, day of the week events...it feels way less important when you can gamify it and you turbo through it all on an emulator. But for how kids used a Game Boy at the time? Oh when you're hopping on for 20 minutes before school every day it's amazing. This like, largely single player MMO vibe is what I love. You gave me a full RPG story to play through, but I have some incentive to keep fucking around. Which I had no trouble doing for Red. I put 100 hours into that, which Dad gave me shit for being proud of. I remember liking the mechanic of roaming legendaries and feeling really accomplished catching the Dogs.

I think this is also why I don't feel the gripe about Kanto. First off, hell yes getting to go to Kanto is awesome. The oft maligned level scaling and new Pokemon being hidden until after the Elite 4 suck as individual design choices in a vacuum, yes. But think about them together. It encourages you to switch up your Champion team. Try new ones and keep your ace around to make sure you stomp the routes no matter what. Use the rematches with people in your phone book. Or shore up the parts of your E4 team lagging behind because you probably got a bit staggered to get through Lance. Not to mention stuff like, Misdreavus is one of my all-time favorites but I get why it's left until Mt. Silver. For the time that was a very weird, experimental type of Pokemon you'd mostly want for link battles. The Johto gym leaders do need a tweak though, but respect for some tough battles like Whitney's Miltank, Claire's Kingdra, or Jasmine's Steelix. Not to mention the verisimilitude angle, maybe I want to feel like the current champion. It doesn't make sense for random trainers to be on Lance's level. The matches do get a little more creative if you don't just stomp everything because you want to avoid grinding for Red.

Once again though, the vibes are immaculate. Johto is made to be enjoyed at this leisurely place because it's very much Kyoto-inspired. The land has too much history to be in a rush and the heavy Japanese flavor is fun!