#AND AGAIN I WOULD GIVE LESS OF A FUCK IF THEY DIDNT ACT LIKE THEYRE WRITING THE WORLDS MOST QUEER NOVEL FOR US STUPID QUEERS WHO WANT THAT

[steevejr]

their fumbling of gender would be a lot less unforgivable if they had more than one single vaguely transgender character per novel. like if they fucked up one trans women but had 1-2 more to counteract that, I’d excuse it as characterization and go. but no.

[hijackalx]

*SOME DURGE QUEST SPOILERS*

***NONCON AND DRUG USE MENTIONS***

GORTASH SFW HEADCANONS:

ok to start i think when he was a prisoner his hair got rlly long and unkept and he hateddd it so the minute he escaped he chopped that shit off himself and thats why its so unruly lol (*EDIT he always cuts his own hair is what im sayin)

this man is such a taurus like everything about him screams taurus. has a taurus stellium fosho

would listen to superheaven

hes also sooo jenny by studio killers, disco man by remi wolf, happiness by the 1975 coded with Durge 😩😩

with durge hes also giving bf that ur dad hates but like thats canon. i think he likes that hes able to influence durge to the point that they rebel lol. the type of boy u run away with when ur younger

probably BLASTED jet black heart by 5SOS on repeat when Durge disappeared LMFAOO

also i kind of feel like the fearless buff to his clothing is more an insight to his character rather than him needing magic to not be fearful bcz he literally got the shit beat out of him everyday and lived in HELL how can he not be desensitized to everything at that point 😭😭😭 it does not get much worse than that my boy

hes so thique like hes just a big boned dude. tiddies SO fat too EUGH + thick shoulders/arms. he feels so warm and safe i just know it i just KNOW it gurl

also idk if it was supposed to happen but in my latest playthrough during the fight with him he dropped his bow and just started beating the shit out of us 😭😭😭😭 all hands baby like WHAT 😭😭 so i like to think thats his preferred method of fighting idk if thats canon tho i feel like i seen somebody talking abt that before but mightve just been another hc

occasionally does drugs. likes the ones that make him feel really elated (idk what theyre called in bg3 its some kind of dust or something) ALSO HC THAT HE WAS ON SOMETHING WHEN HE WROTE RHAT FUCKED UP NOTE TO FRANC (WAS THAG HIS NAME U GUYS KNOW THE NOTE) HE WAS OBVIOJSLY TRIPPING BALLSSSSS

lots of body hair…… everywhere……. straight and black body hair. that is so sexy to me let me smell the pheromones in your armpits king LMFAO (i think theres something wrong with me)

going off of rhat yes i think he smells good (DIVINE, even) as a woman that is feral and in heat all the time. but to normal ppl he may smell kind of weird. not STINKY stinky but like when u dont shower and ur natural scent starts to mix with the perfume/cologne ur wearing SORRY 😭😭😭 im trying to be realistic here. or maybe like when u wake up and didnt shower the night before and u can still smell the perfume/cologne u put on yesterday. basically what im saying is he might need to shower

hes just so masculine it drives me crazy I LOVE MEN !!!!!!!!!! I LOVE EEENERM. ME E WN

love language:

giving = lowkey getting acts of service vibes here but u didnt hear it from me 🤫🤐 gift giving too. tav is just his widdle babie and he wants to make sure theyre the happiest they can be 🥺😩

receiving = acts of service LMAO give and get back type of shit

relationship wise i think he is the most doting and sweetest person. like tav will never have to worry abt anything ever again bcz he will handle everything. takes care of them cuz they are his king/queen 😌

GORTASH NSFW HEADCANONS:

yeah going off that last hc he is sweet outside the bedroom but a menace in it. its just the way he is. its probably exhausting too 😩 like if u ask him to be gentler/less intense he will try for a while but probably wont enjoy it as much. he doesnt like to hold back.

i WILL say tho ☝🏻🤨 i think when he gets close to finishing he gets a little more soft/loving. he just has to get his badness out first yall its fine

HIGH libido wants to smash all the time. he also (POSSIBLE NONCON MENTION !!!!!!!) thinks that since ur his u should be willing to give it up whenever he wants it. (NONCON MENTION OVER) i think in the bedroom he sees u as a servant even if ur considered his equal normally. like hes a chosen of bane he has to feel like he has control over u in SOME way

can be selfish depending on his mood. sometimes he doesnt see u as anything other than a toy (lowkey hard for me to admit but i NEVA LIE GIRLS !!!!! 🙅🙅🙅) like can be such a fucking asshole about it too

BUT !!! when he is feeling generous he is soooo generous. EUGH like he will make sure u enjoy urself!!!! probably multiple times !!!!!!!!!!!!

dont know why nobody else has said he has a daddy kink. so obvious like call him daddy ms thing he will nut so hard. oh corruption kink too. like can u imagine Durge being so innocent when they first met cuz they were never allowed to get close to anybody and hes just sooo into it HELLO i got to write that fic NEOW

omg breeding kink too give him heirs. will fuck the shitttt out of u in a mating press. probably comes a lot too almost impossible not to get pregnant with him LMAO

likes to pick u up and fuck u. manhandling king. also will do the faerun equivalent to coke and wants u to do it w him then fuck nasty afterwards

i feel like he doesnt last an extremely long time. 15-20 mins is THE MOST youre getting out of him lol he just gets very excited (which is lowkey kind of cute??)

do i even have to say that this man is packing schmeat. heavy dick. heavy balls. allow me to bear some of that weight for u my liege 🤲🏻🧎

ORIN BONUS ????:

mostly nsfw

ok i didnt originally plan to add orin but listen….. gortash is a charismatic guy….. imagine orin was into him too LISTEN ! like shes jealous asf of Durge in that sense too not just bcz of them being bhaal’s fav. like when i think abt them i just am getting a vibe okay. this trio……..

every time she sees gortash and Durge acting close and doing all their yucky lovesick shit she just gets soooo mad. now imagine she shifts into Durge to get gortash to fuck her. yeah… yall seeing the vision? would he ever find out ?? imagine that was why he hates orin so much?? he doesnt want to tell Durge (cuz thats cheating hes not a cheater duh 🙄 plus hes scared theyll be mad at him) and thats why his explanations as to why he hates orin are so vague

[hiemaldesirae]

Swap AU:

Vox and Alastor's breakup/Fight was huge--and messy as fuck. Quite simply, unlike what canon is hinting at where Valentino came to Vox's rescue and Alastor ruined one of his Antenna it didn't happen here--and for those 7 years, Alastor lived with the belief he'd killed his beloved Vox. Which is the main reason why Alastor took over the entertainment district--too keep anything of Vox's alive. So yeah, Alastor runs the Vees. TV isn't as powerful--Radio is in every house, but huge televisions are on every corner, running 24/7 informing sinners of news and such and you can rent a tv alongside videos. (And the big TVs show Valentino's porn for a few limited hours at night. Val is....not someone Alastor cares alot for, especially once it comes out Vox sent an SOS to him. Once Velvette and Nifty become friends however, Alastor can see what Vox saw in Velvette.)

Vox's deal with Lucifer is alot more freer then whatever canon Alastor has going on. Lucifer's only command is this: Help and Protect Charlie to the best of your abilities and I'll give you power. The more you help her the more power you'll get in return.

So Vox doesn't really want to free himself at the moment--why would he, when helping the Princess would get him ridiculous amounts of power? (And with this power, he could protect himself from Alastor? He'd never be afraid of dying a second time again.) And that's why he avoids radios, knowing if Alastor picks up his voice the deer will know he's up and alive.

Upon his return and realization that Overlords aren't solo acts anymore and that Alastor owns the Vees and the entertainment district, Vox gets in contact with a hidden Overlord that owes him big time--after all, Vox did stop him from betting his soul and well seeing how Valentino's life is absolute shit at the moment it's a good thing he did.

Husker is, of course grumpy as ever, but agrees to take on his overlord status again and Join Vox at the Hotel--both of them proclaiming themselves as allies and the Hotel and the area around it their territory, easily surrounding the land with hearts, spades and lightning bolts.

While the two overlords are decorating, Angel Dust lifts up his phone, and takes pictures of Vox, and sends them to Valentino.

Valentino prints them out, and drops them off at Alastor's desk, murmuring about how having Angel Dust at the hotel might be a good thing after all.

HI AGAIN SWAP NONNY!!! youre so cool marry me. I mean what wait who said that

oh my GODDDD fuck the idea that alastor thinks he fucking KILLED vox when the other disappeared... im gonna be SICK he thought he killed his beloved and because of it even though he hates modern technology and all the buzz and noise that comes along with it he decided to take control of the entertainment district because itw as the only thing he thought he had left of vox... do you think he kept like voxs old heads or something and like has a makeshift grave or something. and he hates val because vox went to ask him for help but he didnt come in time so he thinks its BOth their faults that vox is gone... oh my god. oh my fucking God........ im really gonna be sick nonny why would you do this to me THEYRE SO FUCKIGn .OWUAUGAHHHHH TEARS MY HAIR OUT

YEAHH husk and vox friendship here is so sweet to me. i like to think that vox and husk join in on the bonding activities at the hotel with charlie and hype her up sometimes. also since theres no niffty here would vox also act as a niffty type person? like he and husk share duties between them of being concierge/janitor/bartender.... imagining vox in a bartender suit and a maid outfit was probably not the best thing to do for my fragile mind tbh but. You know. You see my vision right nonny dont you (i am shaking you gently)

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!!! is angel acting like double agent like here or something? or are he and val in less of an employee/abusive boss relationship here and more of a comrades-in-arms relationship here united under alastor's tyranny? whatever it is im excited to hear more :) please dont stop with this nonny the brainrots getting to me

[conanssummerchild]

the other day i was wondering about how it would go if rick sanchez and abed nadir interacted bcs theyre my fav guys ever but i couldnt actually imagine them ever interacting and then i accidentally came up with a whole fuck ton of headcanons about what would happen if rick started visiting the study group regularly (also featuring morty :3) so i figured i might as well post them idk

(rickortys dni)

idk what rick is doing in the commumity dimension and why btw, he's just there

the hc abt rick and abed having a conversation was just like rick going on and on about some insane adventure he went on and just overall saying wild stuff and abed listening, genuinely interested, but thinking "this guy makes jeff seem well-adjusted"

at first rick always goes alone but he talks about morty all the time and the adventures they go on but he never elaborates about who morty is so everyone just assumes he's a friend of ricks and one day rick finally introduces them to him and its literally a teenage boy and his grandson lol. everyone is confused

shirley probably hates rick sm at first

morty and britta talking abt politics or ethics or smth like that :3

i imagine rick saying the f slur or smth and the family friendly sitcom study group is flabbergasted while morty is sweating bullets apologising for him lol

rick almost immediately asks if troy and abed are fucking

one time chang tried to hug rick (even though they barely knew each other, i just feel like thats something he'd do) and rick's first instinct was to pull a gun out on him and after that chang kept begging him to make him one of those guns too (he didn't)

britta tries to therapise him but eventually rick scares her off by saying something insane or "way out of her league diagnostically" as she said once and she never tries again

rick and jeff having a drink-off (rick wins)

troy alternates between thinking rick is cool and funny and being a little afraid of him

morty and troy get along and morty thinks abed is cool

morty's favourite is anne because he thinks shes so cool and smart and pretty (think like the person you looked up to as a kid, thats how morty thinks of annie) and she lets him act like a kid and doesnt put any unfair insane expectations on him (*cough* rick) because she knows what that feels like

annie dislikes rick but she keeps slipping fliers for AA into his pockets and rick is confused and incredibly annoyed whenever he finds them

rick thinks chang is weird af but finds it funny, especially bcs hes like the main antagonist of the study group and hes just some guy

rick is probably kinda mean to the dean :(

rick saying something in spanish and no one in the ex spanish study group has any idea what hes saying (they did not learn a thing)

rick thinks its kinda cool that jeff faked his degree, but he wont admit it ofc

morty loves apartment 303

annie eventually warms up to rick because he's less grumpy and rude once you get to know him and they become kiiiinda friends (but shes still a little wary of him)

rick, morty, troy, abed and annie playing minecraft together :3

shirley also eventually warms up to rick and acts like a stern parent (even though rick is almost double her age 💀) and rick pretends to hate it but he doesnt (he didnt get loved enough by his parents as a kid)

rick calls pierce the jerry of the group

abed always listens to rick infodump

abed and rick talking about alternate timelines/dimensions together

one time he fell asleep on the sofa at apartment 303 and while he was asleep annie washed his labcoat bcs its probably grimy af and rick freaked out on her and didn't visit their dimension again for a month

morty loves shirley because shes is always so nice to him and gives him baked goods bcs she thinks hes the sweetest kid ever (he is). he always defends her when rick calls her lame

ok thats it, i usually lowkey hate crossovers but here i am. doing a crossover

also ive always been scared of posting headcannons in case someone is like "FUCK YOU these headcannons are the WORST you have no understanding of these characters you dumb faggot" so erm im scared :3 bye

[moonshynecybin]

I do not understand what was going on in Vale’s head after 2015. Like, every time he speaks about Marc he always brings up Sepang and explain how that was the breaking point in their relationship, he doesn’t really talk about Argentina, but at the same time in 2016 they were lowkey getting closer again (?). Then he says that after 2015 he was being polite to Marc only to not waste time, but why? He clearly had no problem to express all his hatred towards him after 2018 so what was the need to act polite and appear fake when he knew damn well that even if he kept talking shit about Marc the journalist and all his fans would have his back. Truly a confusing man, I bet Marc was driving himself insane to try to understand him.

first of all thats a lot of smoke even for my man valentino. like years of smoke. again, hes kind of known as the fun funny guy everybody loves to see win bc he's their silly little elf prince... and yes he's a killer on the track (thats also fun) and hes aware of how to manipulate the public opinion. BUT because of that, i think he's also aware that all of that adoration is something that he can potentially lose or at least have less control over... crowds like jesters when theyre FUN. and when marc's pr strategy at that point about this was 1. ignore it, 2. be very sweet to vale when you see him bc you love him (like he said hi to vale almost every single time they sat next together in 2016. a more sane man wouldve just chilled in contemplative heartbroken silence. not marc ! not my crazy little guy !), being consistently aggressive towards him is a lot less fun for everybody. gives him a lot less power in terms of wielding/controlling that rivalry when he thinks he really needs to. hes NOT lying when he says its easier to just say hi to marc. it is! if he ignored marc every weekend, that would be the story of the weekend. every single time. and i think he learned in the aftermath of sepang how big a story like this could get (we STILL talk about it. marc was answering jorge vs valentino questions THIS WEEK.) and how much they can dominate his life and capture the eyes of the press. kind of inescapably. resigning himself to an eternal retirement of answering questions like how fast do you think marquez will be on the ducati?? (i KNOWWW hes sick rn btw). a monster of his own creation. so i think he learned in malaysia to only go after marc when hes really fucking pissed off. and he was really fucking pissed off in argentina 2018. and unfortunately marc didnt get the hint until then i think.

[birdybirdnerd]

Midnight for spence, secret for Nance, wound for raph-nce (I had to keep the bit going)

ALRIGHT sorry i had to wait till i could be somewhere with wifi to do this

oc asks: not so nice edition!

Midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

changes over the course of parable actors. before meeting up with the brigade, spencer has a lot of anxieties about his parable, nightmares about endless looping hallways and being alone and not mattering to anyone. nightmares about waking back up there specifically, all the hard work hes put into becoming his own person erased like it never happened. he uh, did a lot of late night wandering whenever it kept him up, or drank himself unconscious. not good!

after basically adopting gidget, his anxieties turned towards 'oh god oh fuck this person needs someone put together to help them and im a mess, this is a mistake, im gonna fuck them up irreversibly and just continue to traumatize this poor traumatized kid and that is the LAST thing i want'

things get a lot better for awhile there, until, of course, the end of reset the actors, when his fucking narrator returns and now spencer needs to handle this and deal with this and figure things out and he cant impose this bastard on other people, he can take care of it himself, and god hes so annoying and awful but hes too pathetic to just drop off on the street and wipe my hands of the whole thing, and id feel like a fucking fraud if i didnt give him a second chance but now the nightmares from when i first left the parable are back and theyre mixing with new ones where nansen somehow figures out how to go back and drags me back and it was all for nothing, ill never see the others again, oh god-

so uh. yeah. he quit drinking for awhile there for gidget, but nancys return marks a return of his alcoholism (for a bit. they all get their shit together again thank god and spencer never, ever again touches the stuff except for a Single glass of champagne/wine at a particularly fancy dinner or party, maybe once a year at most)

Secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

nancy admits this to dr joy one session, and no one else.

when he first saw spencer in the falling-apart parable the coalition had made their base, when the rescue attempt for the narrator was in full swing, when hed spent years with a slowly dawning horror at what the other versions of him had done, and what that corrupted parable leading the charge was doing,

he was so, so close. seconds away, even. from grabbing spencer and running and not stopping until they were back, safe, in their own parable

he would have done it, if spencer hadnt interrupted him to demand his help in finding gidget

Wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

raph is a HUUUUGE drama queen and makes a mountain out of a molehill to cope. the more dramatic she is about something though, the less serious it actually is

but when shes really, actually hurt, she tends to retreat. hide it. put on a smile and act like nothings wrong, what are you talking about? this goes for both physical and emotional hurts, too; shell work on a twisted ankle or a pulled muscle until the pain is literally too much for her to even move, and keep forging onwards when her head is a disaster zone until the depression is so thick and murky she cant see a way out of bed in the morning

dont think shes had any suuuper serious physical injuries, maybe needed stitches from falls on set or casts for fractured bones. shes pretty hardy, even if she can be kind of a clutz

emotionally, the worst shes been would have to be... hm. sometime maybe a few months before the brigade formed, i can see her having started her transition months prior. shes been part of this theater/drag group for almost a year now, surrounded by people so, so much like her that love her so much. helping her figure her way out in the world, and in herself. odette dotes on her, is supportive, helps her get on hormones and become more comfortable with herself.

estrogen therapy comes with increased mood swings, heightened emotions, and raph already has bipolar disorder. she feels so much all the time, and the hormones make that stronger, and one day she realizes all the good she has and how different everything is and shes faced in the mirror with the face of someone she can actually love-

and she suddenly feels like a fraud. shes a fake. shes not human, shes not one of these girls. she was made to press buttons, was made as a vessel for the players enjoyment of a game that wasnt even fun anymore, none of them had to go through what she did and she cant even tell them, shes crazy, shes nothing, her narrator was right-

big bad mood swing. bed bound for weeks. raph loses a lot of weight, burns some bridges when the only energy spikes she gets are to yell at the people she loves with all her heart (those bridges reform, i promise, amends are made and therapy helps all). its bad, and the only reason she didnt fully waste away was that odette never once gave up on her, despite rows and no responses.

raph still feels so terribly guilty about this, but has worked to be at peace with herself over it since then

[demadogs]

(disclaimer i havent seen or read rwrb) heartstopper is a bit cringe but tbh i love it bc of that… i’ll never love wtvr nick n charlies ship name is the way i love byler but the show itself makes me so happy in a way st (usually) doesnt. maybe thats bc i havent been exposed to enough queer tv so i just love it wherever i see it but as a queer teen in a mega conservative us state it feels so hopeful/joyful esp compared to all the trauma will goes thru in st bc of his queerness (or wtvr various homophobic things happened in young royals i didnt watch the whole thing)

not that i dont love st (my blog is byler themed lol) but thats my unasked-for defense of cringe gay tv/movies. overall i just want MORE queer tv shows whether theyre cringe n saccharine or ultra serious n depressing :) would love to hear ur thoughts if u want to share or u can let this marinate in ur inbox or delete it w/o reading. peace and love !

and im so glad it brings other people joy!! when i say my own opinions that is not me saying the show/movie is objectively bad. i totally see the appeal of a happy gay show like heartstopper, i personally just prefer things that arent lighthearted and romcommy feeling. like my favorite genres are scifi, horror/thriller, and murder. i like deep and dark shit thats not always boiled down just to a ship.

and also i wanna make it clear that when i say “serious tone” that does NOT equate to depressing!!!!!!!! i am NOT saying i dont like happy endings. it just means i want it treated in more of a real way and not romcommy. i dont like the cutsey stuff like the doodles in heartstopper and how they filmed the phone calls in the first bit of rwrb (i know you havent seen it but just trust me). for me personally things like that just completely take me out of the movie like i just want to watch it authentically like it would have happened irl and thats how more dramatic and serious toned shows/movies are always shot.

i also tend to like my gay fiction to be within a much huger story. a good example of this is the show, the wilds. that show is about a severly fucked up social experiment involving 8 girls and a staged plane crash that leaves them stranded on an isolated island and two of the girls end up together. i LOVED how they wrote that. amazing show highly recommend. this is also one of the reasons i love byler. its a part of a much bigger story and its treated seriously while still being cute and beautiful. plus im 10000% sure itll have a happy ending so again, serious in tone does noooot mean depressing.

thanks for being respectful in this ask and not just trying to change my mind or act like im not allowing anybody else to enjoy what i dont enjoy. and i will say since you do love heartstopper, youd probably love rw&rb and i highly recommend it! and if you want a list of more queer fiction recs i can def give you that (but obviously mine will be less lighthearted than heartstopper).

[azulashengrottospiano]

if you want to ask about idia shroud...

hi you. you either came here out of your own curiosity or you sent an ask about "mr. hot topic on my blog for the past year" and i don't feel like explaining myself again.

first i will show you the reasons why i hated him. then you will get my opinion now. have fun ig!!

WHY I HATED IDIA SHROUD:

number one. he is such a know it all. he constantly acts like hes better than other people and is so SO condensing whenever someone struggles with something that he knows how to do well. he's just such an asshat when he seems someone that he could HELP. "a toddler could do that-" yeah idia, you know what else a baby could do? run a lap without wheezing and keeling over.

number two. he is so ungrateful whenever people do stuff for him. the ghost marriage event highlighter that about him because for fucks sakes these people tried to save your stupid ass life and all you could do was berate them. ok die then! they came here for YOU. how DARE you talk to them like that.

number THREE. he insults the hell out of rollo for his "lets get rid of magic plan" and berates him for it when their trauma is so similar and they could have had a genuine conversation, but also hey idia you FUCKING HYPOCRITE, you tried to TAKE OVER THE FUCKING WORLD FOR YOUR BROTHER. YOU DID WAY WORSE THAN ROLLO DID YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COME AT HIM LIKE THAT.

hes just so snobby and whenever someone calls him out on his bullshit (like leona!!) he is always ALWAYS like "um i didnt say anything" LIKE BITCH IF YOURE GOING TO SHIT TALKS OMEONE BACK IT UP. I HATE YOUR ASS YOURE SO PATHETIC AND SUCH A HYPOCRITE AND SO HORRIBLE.

WHY I LIKE HIM NOW:

first first first!! the thing that made me gasp the softest gasp i have ever gasped in my life when i first saw it...his pink hair. its a bit superficial i guess but now that i like idia i think he's stunning. he's so hauntingly beautiful, especially when he's just a little bit flustered and the tips of his hair turn pink. what i would do to see his whole head turn pink PLEASE.

i also think his smile is so silly, even though it's usually accompanied by his smug ass voice "should'a leveled up more!" SHUT UP!!!!! i love his sharp teeth theyre so goofy nd silly but in a cute way. honestly i think his scowl is cute too, idk maybe i just like his lips but watching them twist up in annoyance when he rolls his eyes is attractive to me dont ask i dont know either. does that say something about me? maybe. i'm content with not knowing.

onto less superficial things...i just finished reading book six yesterday and it struck me how idia's heart is genuinely so beautiful. he loves so gently and fully, but with devotion that would destroy the world if he let it loose. being loved and treasured by idia is a privilege, because once he lets you in he would do anything for you (just dont fuck it up or i will beat you up im being so serious LEAVE HIM ALONE)

the extent to which he cares for ortho is so beautiful and so heartbreaking. "leave it to your big bro" im dead. everything he does is for ortho to have a safe and fulfilling life and honestly...it kind of seems like idia is trying to pay ortho back in a sense? like you died (because of me), now i will spend the rest of my life mourning you as punishment. he wants to give him the best life possible and thats just so ourgourgouhgohou,,,, his grieving is so complex and yet its so simple. heartbreaking i tell you.

on a lighter note, he's very passionate about the things he's into as well. one thing about figuring our how to like idia was turning my reaction to his condescending jabs from "oh he's such a know it all bitch what the hell people are literally just indulging in his interests what is wrong with him?" TO "oh he's just excited and getting an adrenaline rush, it's going to his head. he's happy. :)" and that was absolutely growth on my part because. ok AUBURN LORE TIME but i used to have a friend who was very condescending and a HUGE know it all (irl IRL IRL) and i think they definitely impacted how i saw idia because i saw bits of them in him. and since they hurt me so much i projected my experiences with them onto idia, so the first time i met him in game i wrote him off immediately and hated him after i saw what he said to others and how he acted.

but one of the many problems with that approach was that i missed the gentler sides of him. the way he goes back to school for ortho. the way he powers through the masquerade social for ortho. his idea of yuu being "valuable emotional support." his love of cats, regardless of how bad he scared grim. his love of star rogue and the way he made the sequel actually happen, albiet unintentionally. i spent so much time resenting him because "of course he's just another one of those." that i didn't stop to notice anything about him except for those bad moments. and of course, i'm not ignoring them now, i just see them differently. i see him differently.

of course i love that he's relatable, and that he's smart, and i love how when he's comfortable he loses his filter and becomes idia shroud instead of just being Scared of them, but i think that's just. social anxiety. and yk what ive said this before but even when i hated him i would NOT stand for anyone coming for his anxiety. like yeah i hate idia shroud but BITCH GET AWAY FROM HIM. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS LIKE!!! put me in nrc right now idia shroud needs someone who will yell at people for him and thats going to be ME. i dont care who you are you say shit you are earning my IRE. trey clover got yelled at. no one is safe.

can i just say i love how you said "reason" like there's only one JDSJSDJSD LMAO IDK IT WAS JUST FUNNY TO ME when i love someone i have multiple reasons and i love every part of them, even the bad annoying icky parts (in fact, if you can't love their bad parts too is it even love...? i dont know, we all have different definitions anyway. some might think tolerating their bad parts is love too and we'd both be right.) theres no one reason i just think he's lovely inside and out now. he's an angel, basically.

[seefasters]

Regina spektor anon back at it again. I was wondering about something and it made me also wonder what you thought: ive been thinking about the very fraught dynamic between potter and charles and wanted your thoughts. So like the potter charles dynamic is really rich and it has. Alot of fascinating angles to it, but the crux of that dynamic for me comes down to this: charles is a wealthy, old-money northern urbanite and he is- in career terms at least- in his prime His affect is very contemptuous and aristocratic- hes a member of the elite class in every sense and he knows it. Meanwhile potter is past his prime, a middleamerican/southern dude from what is clearly a rural working class or poor background (i mean i think so. It strikes me as wildly unusual for a wealthy teenager to lie about his age to enlist as a low army grunt, which seems to be what potter did in ww1. Even if potter did come from a stable household economically speaking, he didnt have much in the way of social status- hes a farmboy) All this to say: theres major tension between them. in civilian life charles has absolutely all the power and would never have reason to give potter the slightest bit of regard. Yet this isnt the situation theyre in- charles has been drafted against his will and is at the mercy of potters authority as a commanding officer. Thats not to say that charles doesnt deserve potters ire for being very arrogant and condescending; but you get the sense, especially early in charles's time in mash, that potter gets serious glee out of taking charles down a peg; based on the social dynamic i just mentioned. Which is undeniably satisfying and funny, but its also kind of fucked up too? Like the draft is unjust, charles has been removed from his life to give over his talents to the war machine. He doesnt want to be there. Conditions are terrible. His consent is not relevant. His skills are barely relevant, hes been thrown into a totally unfamiliar mode of medical practice to what he is used to. The show knows all this and for the record i dont think it wrong to mine humor from charles's situation, even though it is wildly unfair and unpleasant and more or less forced labor as is the case for all draftees regardless of background. I was just curious what you thought about potters dynamic with charles or with people in the camp in general (his dynamic with Klinger is similarly fascinating and fucked up though it distinguishes itself from charles because 1. Klinger is not at all on equal or higher standing than potter in civilian life 2. He offers potter respect that charles does not. Which makes potters glee in fucking with klinger less based in class resentment (which colors his dynamic with charles) and more interpersonal (if youre being charitable) or more racist/sexist/classist bullying (if youre being uncharitable). What do u think of potter as an authority figure on mash? what you thought about mash's relationship to the draft as a concept?- service as a moral duty or trying to go AWOL as an immoral or cowardly act versus conceptualizing the draft as an injustice since imo mash seemed to go back and forth about that. Forgive me for the many many words!

hiiiii!!!! i haven't put much thought into the potter and charles dynamic if i'm being fully honest, but i never saw what potter was doing to charles as particularly cruel. charles was already drafted but had managed to secure a fairly comfortable position due to his class (i assume, i don't think the show ever tells us). he also seems to be there in a teacher/lecturer position as opposed to being a doctor who actually treats wounded soldiers. potter needed a capable surgeon to save lives. the morality of being an american army surgeon in a foreign war is a different question though (not that mash hadn't touched on that as well)

if we're not talking about potter keeping charles as a surgeon though, i do imagine potter takes quiet personal glee in fucking with charles because charles is a dickhead lmao

and i don't think potter is ever fucking with klinger? the potter/klinger relationship is pretty straightforward - klinger wants out, potter can't permit that, so klinger comes up with ridiculous schemes to try and convince potter, and the schemes get more and more ridiculous until it becomes a real boy cried wolf situation. everything potter does is (mostly) always in response to whatever klinger is doing

mash is pretty clear on the draft (it should not exist as much as war should not exist) but what happens after is a bit more complicated. i mean, it's never described as a cowardly act - scully went AWOL and hawkeye and BJ shield him, henry remarks that if they all had any sense they would've gone off camp (with the latrine) like hawkeye did, and klinger's schemes are played for laughs but his desire to leave is never painted in s negative light

that being said, none of the commanding officers ever actually let people leave without due reason. and there's the whole shooting yourself in the foot business obviously to which most of the responses are 'we get that war is shit but don't do it again please' (which like, as doctors they're bound to not let people mutilate themselves but you know). people being AWOL is a bit of an awkward topic in mash and i'm not sure if it ever formed a concrete opinion on that

[basslinegrave]

long time no talking about my ship so recently ive been thinking

about dynamics and swaps again, and how they would interact with the other from a different game, note: i have my own views about them at this point and each one of them has some specific traits based on canon things; most of their main characteristics overlap between different game versions but there are tiny details and traits that differ assigned by the terrible combo of canon content and my own delusions. lets go

i feel like 6 ling tong and 8 gan ning would be an interesting match, like i feel like they would fight the least? but maybe that would make it actually boring lol but i feel like 6 ling tong starts to really care about gan ning and 8 gan ning seems to care about ling tong

also i think 5 and 7 are just good as is, but 9 ling tong needs something better, at least mainline wise. mobile game has some good stuff, basically its not just completely one sided there... in 5 its mutual rivalry, in 7 they seem to come to something quite neutral or reach a new start, would even say they care for one another, but 9 feels like gan ning doesnt give two fucks except the mobile game that fed me two crumbs within the memory cards and the story, where gan ning was quite nosy lol but towards the end it was kinda flat, i do like one part but i prefer the dialogue for gan nings death in 9, the jp and cn voice acting got me, but it felt like somethings missing like how did we come to That. and after, why is ling tong now reminiscing and mentioning gan ning when he didnt show much care for him? if anything, only hatred? i gotta do everything myself and say it was a well kept secret or else its nonsensical lol

it was like. iykyk. if you dont you wouldnt give it much thought, so the dialogue is just for the few ppl that care so theyre fed (but man im still hungry!!)

in the end i feel like 8 gan ning is like the most caring one? like also a bit childish and a himbo but in the good way? i like that too, just keeping everything simple. so i wonder how he would be with the other ling tongs, like 9 would probably hate how friendly he is and angry cry about it (note: crybaby ling tong idea has been here since the very start and im on board with that and it has been revived in the mobile game. its real thank you) 5 would probably be the same i mean 5 gan ning did p much say the same thing as 8 but 8 would do it in even simpler terms and then be less of a brute? i dont know man theyre so different in my head than the actual game at this point i guess. also everyone hates 6 gan ning. and i havent thought about how stupid 5 and 6 gan ning has been portrayed in the manga..

getting lost in my own thoughts i remembered last year i was trying to make some graphic connecting them. i failed at it so badly as i got tangled.

heres an image. i am cropping out the color assignments because youd die of cringe but they are different levels/types of relationship.(at the latest point) i also Hope its unreadable. and btw, this is all only from ling tongs pov, i got totally lost on gan nings pov, when i realized i 99% of the time main ling tong and i dont take the time to look at gan ning under a microscope, and also the fact that most of gan nings routes just straight up dont have ling tong in them 😶 one sided hell

conclusion: "chase what the actual Fuck are you Talking About theyre the Same Characters hello?"

you dont get it like i do...

[straykats]

I did a whole album review again may I… pass it across the table to you 👀👏🏼 (aka can we exchange thoughts)

hehe hi izzy here is my lil review (that isnt much of a review and more a reaction/commentary thingy, as all my stuff always is HAHA) BUT !! imma read ur review now and kinda make comments in relation to yours? like a really bad one way email discussion hm AHAHA i avoided reading ur review until i did mine so i don't go into the album with other thoughts (although??? i've listened to all the songs on the album at least once before doing the 'review' so?? idk man HAHA) anyways relistening to the album as i read through yours/reply below HAHA sorry to make this kind of a two-part thing heh (with the review post and then this as well) (dont feel pressured to read both 😭😭)

hall of fame // i agree, it's such a good intro to the album with it's message // yeah the bass is so COOL AND OMGOMG YOUR SCI-FI COMMENT RIGHTTTTTTT RIGHHHHHHHHHTTTTTT i thought i was a weirdo for comenting on the alien-esque sounds (thats what i called that recurring riff in the background AHHA)

s-class// your comment about it showing a bit of everything? so true.

item // yes @ having changbin and lix do the 'item' lines // omg i didnt mention this in my post but i love the vocal pre-chorus thing // oh!! you mentioned the mix of happy and aggressive and it reminds me of one of my first thoughts on the song: okay hear me out idk how to explain this but i feel like if anyone can get me its you HAHAHA so this song gives me like. hacker vibes. BUT LIKE but like the happy go-lucky hacker that acts kinda childish and takes risks and is really. tricksy. like they hack in a way that annoys people and they leave little messages on their targets screen or smth idk man HAHA but like on this relisten of the song and ur mention of the aggressiveness, i'm seeing less of an individual and more of a group? like, a.. rebel kinda group but not rebel. i forgot the word. but like you have ur happy go lucky hacker, you have ur aggressive gunsmen or weaponsmaster and your sniper and the cool leader that always smirks (like think kuroo tetsurou but the Cool part of him not the annoying or dorky part HAHAHAHAH i miss him <//3) and like this song gives me a SUPER specific vibe that i want to write as a fic ARGH

super bowl // yeah i love the chanting/group lines !! it kind of really fits the vibe of this song? cant explain it properly. but haha i applaud u for loving the whispers w headphones; im gently cringeing JNVDJSKNVJDSK HAAHAHA

topline // this song would be so funny at concerts bc everyone will say fuck and then chan will have another meltdown // YES the transition to jisung's verse from tiger jk's is so uGH AND THEN TO HYUNJIN THAT WAS SO SMOOOOOTH // yes this is such a concert song i just hope its one of the songs where they can run around the stage freely bc for the final chorus i can see them hyping up the crowd w them and it would be so fun

get lit // YES THE LIL TRILL THING AFTER 'dance like crazy' right theyre so fun theyre so nice they're so--- wait i though i was typing in caps this whole time (i was reading ur comments while typing and just looked over LMAO) im having so much fun w that part on the piano. its stressing me a little but in a really good way like its so fun // really interesting (that sounds really rude/like online forced politeness and i dont mean it that way okay ily i mean genuinely interesting) how ur seeing this as such a happy cute song and in my thing i was like 'god this song is so bittersweet and sad' HAHAHAHA like YES it does have a lot of happy fun vibes to it (i called it a 'tropical' vibe LOL) but smth is also like. hm. // by little vocals at the end, did you mean the lalalalas? bc yeah same hehe

get lit // ur comment about the bass FJDKD UR RIGHT but im sorry idk why im laughing ur comment just made me laugh // yeah that verse really is harsh, i didn;t notice before // YEAHH THE CHORUS SYNTHHHHHH it kinda gives me like. i can see a girl group going nuts to this but in a really good way idk how to explain it haha // WAIT THATS HYUNJIN W THE SLURRED LINES????? // yes the little sound at the end hehehe

collision // RIGHT RIGHT THE TRUMPETSSSSSS // dont mind quickly editting my post to include collision as one of my favs. i forgot 💀 // i see you are having a lot of verse 2 > 1 moments hehe // yeah the phone ringing !!!!! its so cool i HBVJDSBVHJSVHSJ

fnf // yeah felix vocals :(((((((( love sm and then followed by hyunjin too i ahhbvdsjbvhsjbvhs // oh i only just paid attention to the lyrics bc of ur comment and now im feelin a lil sad HAHA // oh omg hyes it does give tmt vibes // ohoho??? gotta find out what chan said about 'catching up'

youtiful // smth about channo opening it feels so comforting, right? like, the whole song is comforting and feels like sitting on a rooftop swaddled in blankets with them (all of them, one of them, some of them) but opening it w chan specifically was the cherry on top. // omg yeah the disney vibes >>> // (re: one of ur comments) that was the saddest 'woohoo love that for me' ive read in my life

and i'll stop here. sorry again if this was such a long response ahhh heehfhshjs but it was really fun to make my own comments and then listen to the album again and read ur comments.

[spatio-rift]

6,7,13,16 for the ask game U CAN ANSWER PRIVATELY I JUST WANNA KNKW

THANK YOU LAB i think i can answer these publicly

6 (which ship fans are the most annoying?): i mean considering ive had the first image saved on my phone for years and i made the second one based on it months ago i feel like i couldnt possibly answer anything else

i dont even dislike sns itself but the way the fans act about hinata in particular makes me so genuinely angry.LOL like theyre so pissed naruto didnt marry sasuke that they invent a whole new narrative where hinata was always fully in control of the hyuuga clan and saw & treated neji like a slave and would happily brand one of her children with the caged bird seal. nevermind the fact that she was practically disowned and her own father told her teacher that she could die for all he cared, that she worked with neji to change the hyuuga clan all throughout the timeskip despite him almost killing her shortly before, and that they have canonically succeeded in making the branch family equals to the main one and that they do not use the seal anymore. like can you shut up about hinata if you dont even know that the only way to break the seal is by dying so shes not simply refusing to undo it and that they dont brand people who dont have the byakugan because the whole point of it is to protect the secrets of the byakugan so its not like boruto or himawari would ever be at risk of getting the seal since boruto doesnt have the byakugan. which btw doesnt make sense w the established hyuuga lore and neither does himawari awakening it since theyre supposed to be born with it and its the sharingan that people have to awaken but whatever. this is unrelated to sns fans im just annoyed that kishimoto forgot. ALSOOOO sns fans making post after post about how hinata forced this marriage on naruto, and that he is sooo unhappy in it that he GOTTA cheat on her with sasuke. WHY DO YOU ALL WANT HIM TO BE A CHEATER SO BAD go outside and mind your own business!!!!! ohhhh it annoys me !!!!!! sorry.

honestly the second one is more that theres a specific clique of fdkd fans that ive passionately hated since 2018 but like... if theyre the only fdkd fans i see then i can say i hate fdkd fans. but unlike sns i also happen to fucking hate the ship. LOL

7 (what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?): i think this one is a little hard to answer because im too stubborn to ever really let fandom make me hate a character for real? but people have definitely made me care WAYYY less about sasuke. sorry this is about naruto again and definitely related to the people from the question above but also as a taka fan i just kind of hate that most people talking about taka are sasuke fans and they tend to do it in a way where like. they dont like team7 so taka are their replacement and they dont acknowledge at all everything shitty sasuke did to them or even the circumstances of their getting together. like theyre not a team because sasuke likes them as opposed to team 7 they were just the most useful to him for his revenge against itachi... like it all just feels a little like sasuke fans only think of taka as sasukes accessories and dont really care abt them as characters really which has def lowered sasukes likeability ratings for me. LOLLLL but honestly when i read naruto i dont dislike him at all i quite enjoy everything abt him but when i log into tumblr and see a post hoo mama 💢💢💢

also i similarly quite enjoy reading kusuo in the saipsi manga but the way people talk about him on here makes me roll my eyes so hard sometimes. i like to be a hater w my friend privately sometimes cuz its funny LOL but its whatever idrc about him anyway

13 (worst blorboification): oh my god i dont think i can answer this one because i literally dont think i know what blorboification specifically means. i vaguely get it but i dont think i can confidently say anything unless someone gives me a clear definition 😭😭 sorry

16 (you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)): MAKING SAIPSI ANGST I DONT GET ITTTTTTT WHY ARE YOU READING A GAG MANGA TO GET SAD AND DEPRESSED I DONT GET ITTTTTTTTT

girlboss karin SHES A FAILGIRL evil imayoshi HES LITERALLY JUST A GOOFY LITTLE GUY AND GAY taka settling down in a village (especially konoha??) WHY??????? THEYRE WANTED CRIMINALS AND NONE OF THEM EVEN ARE FROM KONOHA THE 2ND VILLAGE WITH THE MOST REASONS TO WANT THEM DEAD poor little meow meow hanamiya ARE WE READING THE SAME MANGA sakura karin shipping ITS UNINTERESTING AND ENTIRELY BASED ON SASUKE EVEN WHEN YOU KICK HIM OUT OF THE LOVE TRIANGLE stripper aus ON SOME LEVEL I GET WHY (THE PORN I GUESS) BUT IM ALWAYS BAFFLED THAT THEYRE EVERYWHERE im out of breath

[dailyandrewandaaron]

“ how many have you killed? “ katelyn asked. it was out of curiosity not horror 

“ oh, I stopped counting that long ago -” andrew laughed but his laughs were getting less and less genuine .  It wasnt as funny as he was pretending it was. "does that upset you? Are you going to cry again"

“ you can drop the act Andrew”

“ -and you can drop yours katie” 

“ I don’t know what you mean?  “ katelyn said frowning slightly like she didnt understand. 

“ I think you do. your smarmy little good girl act  might work on Aaron but you dont fool me I know  exactly what you are  ,you fucking bitch”

she still pretended confusion until he named her  “Amanda. sarah.  wesninski.  " 

she let her face harden and tapped her  foot  “ I know what you are too!” she exclaimed jabbing her finger at him “ andrew joeseph minyard – youre dying. – .youre a   dead man on your feet right now –still think youre a match for me? "

“ I beat you before  ”

“ I let you . I didn’t want Aaron to know about me“

“im more than capable" 

 she shook her head  “youll  never stop fighting will you –youll never let go – but you cant hold it off forever. youre not that strong andrew . youre  going to die you know you are and youre so scared  “

“ Im not scared of dying “

“ no, not that." she agreed" its them youre  scared for  – your brother and mine –   If you go theyll be nobody left to protect your little family - although my family too so maybe -

“ No ,You cant have them . theyre mine “

she clapped her hands together gleefully “thats why youre clinging on so hard ,  im right aren’t I ? and they don’t know ,do they ? you didn’t tell them -  and youre never going to – oh, but thats  so sad!  they going to lose their protector and they  don’t even know it  “

“ theyre  not going to lose me  “

“ are you sure about it ? it’s a nasty way to go … you want that for them ? you wont  know who they are ,in the in end – you wont know who you are – youll only want to eat , eat and eat  and eat and you wont care what- or who –? it would be better for you – and for them, to go before you get to that stage

“ im not going to end up like that,”

“ thats what they all say . They all think they strong enough but none of them are. youll be the same. if it comes to it - “

“Ill start with you” andrew stated 

“youre funny” Amanda faked a giggle  “ i almost see why my brother kept you around ”

“ you lied to us . you lied to Aaron” 

“I love him” 

“I never said you didn’t.  but you owe me truth, Tell me something true , dearest sister in law “

“I love him “ she says again

“ something else – give me a secret – pay  me my due”

“ im not a natural red-head “ she says

“ Dont test me ! “

“or what? – what exactly are you going to do ,weve been through this before haven't we?”

“ refresh my memory” andrew insisted 

“ you want a secret ? ill give you one - it was me - im the one that  killed you “

“ you did a shit job of it “ he said coldly but he fingers instinctively moved to gash on his head following it down to the space where his right eye had once been .sometimes he forgot that he had no second eye . other times he forgot that he'd ever had more than one eye.

"I know I know " Amanda says "such a shock ,katelyn isn't the kind of girl to do such a nasty thing, to her own brother in law no less,but ,you know I'm not katelyn. I could've been. I wanted to be ,for Aaron. Katelyn was for Aaron, I gave up everything I am for him because i loved him, i love him,and you ! You were going to ruin it all for us , because you know im Amanda. And because Im Amanda, and ive always been Amanda inside, I killed you for that . Figured it was fair since killed katelyn she was a nice girl, we could've been family, but no. You wouldn't let me have that. I didn't know that you'd come back, but that worked out well for me , that you came back, after , and you said nothing, so there's no andrews dead talk for them ,no sadness for my sweetheart , or for my brother, because youre here, aint ya? so now I get to keep Aaron and , Neil too

he hummed. .“ you did not kill me ,Amanda. I am not dead.” 

she considered that, apprising him “ Maybe not. Not yet, not completely, but youre not alive andrew. You knew that, deep down ,you knew,like you know what is coming for you next, Aaron,he loves you, I could never get him to let go of his devil twin ,but he can't save you, you know that, this is why you wont tell him , because he'll try ,he'll fail and it will break him .he is a good doctor, but , death, undeath, that he can't fix. You want to fight me ,you can do that, but its too late, andrew, I already done it ,I hit you on the head real hard and it killed you, you just didn't realise you arent alive like used to be, you aint the man you were. you kept on going like it didn't even happen and i respect that ,actually , i respect that you won't quit ,but youre not alive, you have not been alive ,truly alive, for a long time, and you know what, my dear brother in law? I like you better this way."

[b0mblover]

Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.

By: J

major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention

uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.

uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.

talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!

i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.

hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭

(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)

——————————

yknow,

you havent been a great person

or a good one even.

yet you still question as to why i dont love you

or like you,

maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.

maybe not

i dont really care about your feelings.

at all.

not now.

i put up with this for fucking 14 years.

my entire fucking life.

ive put up with your shit.

but now?

now im done.

you have no idea how badly you fucked up.

when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up” 

yknow.

he mightve not been right for what he did.

but,

it was just a mistake.

it was a goddamn mistake.

you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?

how many times ive repeated them?

how many times i fucking meant it?

just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.

you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.

dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”

bullshit.

bullshit you dont.

you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!

you had a goddamn kid

you had two goddamn children.

with this man that you fucking DESPISE.

you knew it back then too.

you told me you did.

you fucking told me.

almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.

nothing.

you have no right to act like that.

no.

you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.

for such a simple mistake.

i dont care if he talked about it since friday.

i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.

you.

you as a goddamn human.

have no right.

none.

in the slighest.

to hit another living being.

for talking about something in your eyes “too much”

or making a mistake.

youre a hypocrite.

need i remind you?

you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.

that youd be a better person.

stop the fights.

stop the beatings.

stop all of it.

and everything would be okay!

.

i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.

youre a liar.

just how you said i was.

you didnt quit.

you didnt stop.

hell two months after you hit him again!

you threatened to kill him and yourself!

cmon.

dont you get it yet?

i fucking despise you.

maybe to a degree i feel shocked.

but.

i really dont think thats it.

youre the root of my problems.

every single last fucking one.

——————

need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?

.

need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?

.

need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?

.

need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?

.

need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?

.

need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?

.

need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?

.

need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?

.

need i remind you of what i seen?

.

need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?

.

need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?

.

i dont care about your feelings anymore.

i gave up years ago.

but now.

i dont feel just numb for you.

i hate you.

in every sense of the word.

.

i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.

.

i dont care about what you think of my appearance.

.

i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.

.

i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.

.

you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.

you yelled at me.

no.

you fucking screamed at me for weeks.

im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.

i dont give a fuck about you.

and yknow?

if.

no.

if it would work.

if it was possible.

id fucking kill you.

id stab you.

right here.

right now.

to end my suffering.

to end his suffering.

all of it.

id end it all.

i dont care if its wrong.

because i know no one else knows about whats going on.

yknow.

only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.

and i havent even met her in person.

yknow.

the people i used to be close with from school.

only just learned you had an affair.

i know that.

the police are do-less.

since you know them.

and hes a man.

not a woman.

it wouldnt be taken seriously.

that he should just fight back.

yknow.

youve ruined what life he has left.

his parents beat him.

his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.

and here.

youve done the exact same thing.

yknow.

he’ll never get to see how love truely is.

because of you.

because of what youve done.

i cant say i really like him either.

but.

that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.

.

yknow whats worse?

how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.

is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.

i know i joke about that night.

but.

really.

hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.

its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years. 

and even now.

if you were to as so much to touch me.

while in a fight.

id do it all over again.

you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.

but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.

i wont forgive you for what youve done.

even if he will.

.

i want nothing to do with you.

get out of my life for good.

[actualbird]

Crawls in here once again since the week is almost over and i thought of another ask that might be fun, what r ur thoughts on nxx team at a haunted house (amusement park or otherwise www) -Marsh

ELLO, MARSH!!!! thank you so much for this ask!! answering this was so much fun :DDDD

okay so i decided to forgo amusement park haunted house bc artem already does that in SSR Loving Memories so we Know how he is in a recreational haunted house (aka rambling about SAFETY REGULATIONS why is this man like this smh) n i dont wanna be redundant SOOOO

nxx team for some reason have to go into an abandoned house that is heavily rumored to be haunted as hell. theyre on....an investigation. and they all have to be there all at once....dont think about it too much, i sure didnt HAHA

in the tradition of scooby doo, somebody suggests "let's split up, gang!" for utmost hilarity and also because a grp of five people goin thru a house like a pack of meerkats is a bit silly KJJSKGSF

so here are my proposed teams: vyn + mc + artem, luke + marius

my rationalization for these teams is because each team needs a "supernatural skeptic/person who isnt scared" to balance out the one in the team thats like "supernatural MAYBE this place is CREEPY n im A BIT SCARED do NOT JUDGE ME/im NOT scared i just HATE THIS"

vyn + mc + artem

vyn and artem are the staunch skeptics who are balancing out mc's jumpiness and mc would like it ON THE RECORD that she doesnt believe in ghosts but she gets jumpy sometimes!!! in her defense this place is CREEPY AS HELLS

so like while theyre going through rooms looking for whatever theyre looking for, vyn and artem are trying to comfort her in their own specific way

artem goes and rambles about the non-spooky explanations for all the rumors of this house, people like to go to the easiest explanation for unexplained things, though the easiest route isnt necessarily the most logical one---

vyn serenely tells mc Well, Actually the perception of supernatural quite often comes not from reality but from the outwards manifestation of a person's personal fears so it's less indicative of a place and more indicative of the person themselves---

and vyn and artem are trying to be the More Rational Person

mc, internally: (guys...i know you guys are trying....but it's NOT EXACTLY....HELPING....)

because honestly what mc needs right now isnt people telling her how her fears are absolutely nothing to worry about. what she needs is just her two friends being there for her even thru her irrational fears

eventually vyn and artem do clue into this and actually start being NOT IDIOTS about being good haunted house exploration partners but they only clue into this AFTERRRR each of them get SPOOKED AS HELL FIRST they gotta get a taste of their own medicine.

it's very funny to me that both vyn and artem have Really Good Aim (vyn with bow and arrow, artem with GUN) so when a sudden creak happens outta nowhere theyre both like O_O and then IMMEDIATELY throwing the first thing they can find at the noise

vyn throws a pen like a frigging javelin and artem just throws his wholeass phone, so much for rationality, huh, fellas?

the noise turns out to be luke and marius, stumbling upon their team, and thanks to vyn and artem's great aim, both those items hit luke hard in the face

well thats one way to get rid of mc's fear, because she bursts into a peal of giggles

but how were luke + marius doing before coming across them?

marius is DEAD FUCKING SILENT the moment the team splits up and luke is like "huh, didnt take marius for somebody who believed in ghosts" but luke doesnt bring it up because this doesnt seem like a light kind of spooked that luke would want make fun of.

like marius is pale, his breathing is shallow, his clenched fists are in his jacket pockets but luke can see that his hands are trembling

so luke fills the silence with investigation talk to get marius' mind of it, and luke is glad it works a little bit, even if marius' replies are monosyllabic. luke glances at marius and sees that the fear in his eyes has been replaced by his Thinking Gaze and great awesome

until they get to a room that is just. wayyyy fucking colder and darker than the rest of the house

and marius' fear slams back into him like a battering ram. he doesnt jerk back through the open doorway though, he just kind of stands there and luke is like "uh. you dont have to go in if youre scared---"

"i am not scared," marius grits out because come on. hes gotten over this, hasnt he? [spoilers for marius ssr in the darkness] fine, whatever, he had a bad time as a kid with cold dark places but mc had helped him get through it, back then, in the cave on nosta. surely one good experience is enough to completely erase a childhood fear that has followed him all the way to adulthood?

(no. it isnt. it helps, but sometimes it's not enough)

[spoilers for marius ssr in the darkness] back in that cave, marius admitted to mc why he was acting the way he was but he sure as hell isnt going to tell LUKE, NO SIREE, MARIUS IS FINE, marius trudges into the horrible room as he valiantly ignores just all the terrible alarm bells going off in and luke just like.

oh it's not ghosts he's scared of it's. the dark

luke doesnt exactly Know Completely what the Best Way is to comfort the other members of the team (theyre all cagey motherfuckers one way or another but hey, hes a cagey motherfucker too) but he cant like...not do anything. marius obviously doesnt want to be called out but luke wants to help anyway so he has to find a way to ground marius while also giving marius an excuse aaaaand----

luke clears his throat, extending his hand towards marius in the darkness of the room. "this place is old, the floor is uneven. i think it'll be better if we uh. held onto each other, so we dont trip up."

thank GOD THIS ROOM IS DARK because marius feels his face go a little warm but fuck it, yes, he would rlly like this, so he's like FINE and then holds luke's hand

ABSOLUTE SILENCE FROM BOTH OF THEM AFTER THIS, THEYRE JUST INVESTIGATING NOW WITH NO WORDS

but luke notices that marius' trembling hand stops shaking for a moment when luke squeezes his hand.

and they get thru their half of the house, hands linked the entire way, and they meet up with the others and luke gets projectiles thrown at his face

mc's laughter and the split second chaos is the perfect distraction to let go of luke's hand and nobody notices. nobody has to know. NOBODY

and of course they find whatever thing they were looking for KJBKJSDKFGS anyway in conclusion: the nxx team would be a disaster in a haunted house but theyve got each other's backs :D

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. Just so everyone knows, this is how the “number one worldwide phenomenon” LO ranks on the other Webtoons servers*, ranked from best to worst (November 2021)

Webtoons France: #6

Webtoons LATAM: #9

Webtoons Germany: Doesn’t Rank at all

Webtoons Korea/NAVER: Doesn’t rank at all, one of their lowest rated series ever on the whole site.

So it’s only Number 1 on a single server, meanwhile does either ok, lags behind, or is rejected outright everywhere else. Meanwhile other Western made imports to these other servers (such as Let’s Play and Down to Earth) all do easily top five, while True Beauty ranks as number one in all other servers except the English one, where it’s number 2. Unless America, Canada, and the UK are the “World”, then LO is not as popular as Webtoons’ marketing team wants you to believe.

* Webtoons Indonesia, China, and Thailand are excluded from this list since LO isn’t on any of these. 

2. is it just mean to say the romance in Lo is just not good? like i didnt feel anything when they kissed, it just seemed really random. their flirting isnt very cute and it cant seem to decide if its wants them to act like actual adults or teenagers. them constantly being shy after while just gets boring when it happens over and over again. also it constantly has other characters say how "in love" they are which tbh only says to me even rs knows its not written well so she needs to spell it out.

3. why do the stans act like rachel "spending years" on lo means we cant critique it? a lot of things have years put into them, doesnt mean its now flawfree and we have to care about their poor egos. if rachel doesnt want critique, then she should have never agreed to being published much less putting her stuff online to begin with. i swear lo stans have no idea how the actual world works.

4. geniuenly want to know wha's going on in that lily white head of rachel's to not think its REALLY WEIRD to have hades lust after a tiny version of his mother and have persephone be turned on by hades looking like his abusive, murderous dad. like what the fuck is that. what is that saying exactly??

5. cannot stand how lo fans (or just hxp fans in general) claim there are "several versions" where hades doesnt kidnap persephone and she actually elopes willingly with him bc as soon as you ask for proof of this they get awfully quiet. like if there are "several" versions, show us at least ONE source of proof then. and no, it cant be LO, some fanfic, or a tumblr post. give us an actual source from ancient greece and we'll believe you, not going off your word that "it totally exists, trust me".

6. lo hades absolutely seems the type to buy nfts and no i will not elaborate on that

7. idk how the stans were like "how is lo a white savior narrative theyre all blue and green lmao" as if that was some epic own? or that hades being an ugly shade of brown in a human disguise (as in not his actual race? thas literally a disguise?) "proves" theyre not white like?? even rachel's fancast was all white people? even if they dont have races persephone being like "hey dead people i killed! be thankful for what im doing for my own purposes!' is literally a white savior narrative like -

8. Is there actually an anti-lore olympus server? If so, I'd like to get in if possible.

From OP: Yup! Search up ‘anti lo discord’ since it’s the hashtag I used.

9. The more i read LO the more it feels annoying and cringy. From the art to the conversations it’s just a shit show basically. Birthday cards, making Persephone look like a toddler? Hades turning into a giant spider? The humans who were the exact copy of Hades and Persephone?? The jury show? Like? The entire comic is just a cringefest. Not to mention the stans who defend this comic and RS like she’s personally going to save their life.  My god had RS said that LO would be a fanfic telenovela webtoon of greek mythology then there would be no problems at all, but to say that this a modern adaptation and retelling of the mythology?? And to say that you know greek mythology better than greek people themselves?? Is this woman having delusion instead of actual food for her meals?

10. i also dont get why rachel keeps making a point persephone is so innocent and would never hurt a fly when its like?? isnt the whole point of the story supposed to be her growing up and being the "badass dread queen" its been promising us? bc it makes no sense to keep insisting she's this precious lil bean but also tell us she will also be some dark girlboss when she's not allowed to own or accept that part of herself? like even her "dark" side is just some vague "feeling"she cant control :/