#AMAZING ART DOE‼️‼️

[tuxalfredo]

Jax, but if the character was actually good and interesting

[Click on image for quality 👍]

[jellophoid]

Just finished dungeon meshi, what a good ending. The medieval style closing everything up was comical and a very sweet lead up to the final panels.

[avis-writeshq]

02 — haunted

summary: “something’s gone terribly wrong, you’re all i wanted.”/“you’re not gone, you can’t be gone.” pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst warnings: rated 16+ for alcohol, religious talk (inaccurate portrayal of Christianity), vomit, INCREDIBLY CANON COMPLIANT ‼️IF YOU WERE TRIGGERED BY S2 EP15 REVELATIONS IN CRIMINAL MINDS, DO NOT READ THIS‼️ wc: 10.1k a/n: another special mention to @astrophileous for beta reading and hyping me up!! love you loads zahra 🤎 (she's also doing an AMAZING derek morgan series that i have the honour in beta-in so if you have time please do check it out!! it is an absolute work of art) SPARKS FLY MASTERLIST // MAIN MASTERLIST

There is never a dull day when working at the BAU. After weeks of cases and paperwork, a night out was exactly what everyone needed. A place to get drunk, have fun and unwind– and O'Keefe's was the exact place to do just that.

“You know, you can at least try to look like you’re having fun,” Emily muses, nudging your shoulder. 

Emily joined the team soon after Elle had resigned, and as much as you missed your friend, you enjoyed Emily’s company. She’s too observant for her own good; grinning at you from across the room whenever you have the slightest interaction with certain people. She’s a brilliant addition to the team, much to your chagrin, but you know it’s all in good fun. Well, all in good fun for her.

You shoot her a playful glare, sipping on your drink. “I am having fun!”

“Liar,” Emily says instantly, grinning at you. “C’mon, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you deny, “I’m just tired. Things have been… busy to say the least. I’m just glad that the team is getting some R&R. Well deserved, might I add. How are you? You know, with joining the team and all that.”

She smiles in your direction before downing a shot and shrugging. “It’s been good! Yeah, everyone is so… welcoming. It’s nice.”

“Different to a desk job?” You ask with a teasing lilt in your voice. 

Emily laughs softly. “Yeah, totally.”

Your gaze shifts to where Spencer is sitting, for once enjoying himself in such a crowded area. He’s talking to two strangers at a table, his hands gesticulating as he explains something and the two people seem thoroughly amused. 

“So… Spencer, huh?”

You frown. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

Emily laughs, “You’re staring at him with heart eyes. Anyone can tell. Except for him, apparently.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“For a profiler, you’re a horrible liar.”

You let out something that sounds akin to a dying cow, turning your attention back to your drink. Your attention wavers and it shifts back to Spencer who is enthusiastically talking about something to the two amused guests. He grins at them as they drink, his own cup still full. Derek is thoroughly enjoying himself as he dances with a group of girls, and you can see Aaron and Haley dancing together on the floor as well. It’s wholesome, seeing everyone in their casual wear and just having fun.  

“You should talk to him,” Emily tries again, nudging you. “I’ll buy you a drink if you do.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You’re bribing me to talk to my best friend?”

“I’m bribing you to give me entertainment,” she corrects, laughing.

“You’re horrible,” you tell her, smiling, as you walk past her in Spencer’s direction. “I expect that drink to be delivered to me.”

“Deal!” She calls after you, downing a shot as she watches you. 

Spencer smiles when he sees you make your way over to him, shuffling his chair to the side to give you more room. 

“Hi,” he murmurs, pulling your seat closer to him. “Having fun?”

“I should be asking that to you,” you respond, smiling. The two people he was once talking to take their leave, giggling about something you couldn’t quite make out. “I didn’t mean to scare away your company.”

He immediately shakes his head at your words. “I’d rather talk to you anyway.”

You can’t help the silly grin that spreads across your face or the way your cheeks heat up and you cough. “Well, I hope I can live up to your expectations.”

Spencer laughs, his hand gravitating to your knee and he squeezes good-naturedly. “You exceed them.”

You think he’s trying to kill you and you swear you stop breathing as you choke out, “I’m glad.”

It isn’t long before Emily makes good on her promise, and a waiter appears on your left. He presents a drink to your table, the glass adorned with a lemon rind and a raspberry, and you eagerly take a gulp. 

Spencer frowns a little as he watches you drink. “Aren’t you going to question who it’s from?”

“I know who it’s from,” you respond cheerfully, letting out a contented sigh. You offer the drink to him, moving the straw so that it’s pointing in his direction. “Want some?”

He eyes the pink drink suspiciously. “What is it?”

“It’s a Pink Bikini!” You chirp, sipping the drink again. “Like… coconut rum, raspberries, and lemonade. It’s good, Spence, you can barely taste the alcohol.”

His nose scrunches at the idea of coconut rum. “I dunno.”

“You’re not gonna get drunk from one sip,” you protest happily, a little tipsy. “It’s good! Besides, how do you know you’re not going to like it if you never try it?”

“You’re literally drunk right now!” He points out, laughing a little and moving the drink out of your reach. “Give it to me.”

“That’s only because I had a couple drinks earlier,” you argue, lunging for the glass. You’re quick but Spencer is quicker (and taller), and he chugs the drink before slamming it back onto the table. “Spencer!”

He grins at you, smacking his lips as he plays with the paper straw. “I’m protecting you, (Y/N). Who knows what you would’ve done if you drank any more.”

“You’re insufferable,” you chastise half-heartedly, “I was thirsty.”

“I have water,” he says, fishing a plastic bottle out of his satchel. He cracks the lid open, taking a sip himself before passing it to you. “Drinking even moderate amounts of alcohol can lead to dehydration. Drinking water slows down this effect, allowing the liver to metabolise the alcohol that was already consumed. This also means you won’t have as bad a hangover tomorrow morning.”

You beam at him, taking tentative sips from his water bottle. The fact that you’re drinking from the same bottle as him is not lost on you, nor the fact that he finished your drink by using your straw– your lipgloss stained straw– and he didn’t even bat an eye. 

“What would I do without you?” You croon, handing his bottle back. 

“Probably die of dehydration,” he responds, taking one last gulp of water, before returning the bottle back to his bag. 

“Ah, yes, that’s right,” you laugh again, beaming at him. You’re not sure if it’s from the drinks, but you can feel your cheeks begin to flush. Did it get hotter in here?

“Hey, sorry to be the bearer of bad news but we have a case,” JJ pats your shoulder sympathetically, frowning. “Horrible timing, but it’s urgent.”

You all but whine. “But I’m tipsy.”

“I’ve got aspirin in my bag,” JJ says, “you’ll be fine.”

“Stupid serial killer,” you huff, getting up from your seat. “They owe me a day off.”

*** 

“You know it never fails. Just as I’m getting my groove thang going, bam! We’re back at the BAU,” Derek says, pouring himself a much needed cup of coffee and sitting at the roundtable.

Spencer shrugs. “You know, statistically, a case doesn’t come in with any more frequency if you’re at a party or gathering than if you aren’t. It’s a… trick of the mind. We merely remember the ones that came in that way more.”

“Besides, how long does it take for you to get your ‘groove thang’ going anyway?” You tease, sipping from your own cup of coffee, and Emily cackles from beside you. 

“Only when he’s sleeping,” Gideon comments, walking into the conference room and taking off his coat. 

Hotch’s brows raise in a mixture of surprise and concern. “Where were you tonight?”

“I told you, I went to the Smithsonian,” he grunts as he sits into his chair.

“You missed a good time,” Emily insists, smiling.

“I had a good time,” Gideon responds, his attention turning back to the screen where JJ was getting ready to present the latest case. 

“Well, that’s definitely over,” she says, flicking the screen on. “Georgia. The Kyles– Dennis and Lacy– were murdered an hour ago in the suburban Atlanta home.”

Hotch’s brows raise in surprise. “An hour ago?”

JJ nods. “Police were on the scene unusually fast.”

“Why?” Derek asks, leaning over the table.

“One of the UnSubs called them and told them that the other was about to murder the victims.”

You huff out a laugh in disbelief. “You’re kidding.”

“From inside the house.” JJ purses her lips, gesturing to the transcript that was printed out in their files. “According to the dispatcher, the first male sounded terrified and begged them to get there before the other, who they both identified as Raphael, was about to kill the sinners that lived there.”

“‘Sinners’?” Hotch echoes.

JJ nods again, a grimace painted over her features. “The 911 centre is going to send Garcia the tape.”

“How fast was the police response time?” Spencer asks, glancing at the screen.

“Four minutes, twenty-six seconds. During which time Raphael was able to do…” JJ clicks a button on the remote and an array of gruesome crime scene photos popped up onto the screen. “This.”

“In four and a half minutes?” Emily asks incredulously, frowning. 

Garcia immediately turns away from the screen, clutching her mug closer to her chest. You can’t help but cringe as well from the violence presented in the photos: blood everywhere, smeared across the walls and floors of the house, and the victims lifeless. 

“Mr. Kyle is a dot-com millionaire. His company is one of the largest employers in the community. There’s going to be media coverage. Also, when they arrived, the police found this displayed prominently on the bed.”

Another image appears on the screen, this time a page of the Bible placed into a plastic evidence bag with a certain section highlighted. 

“Revelation, Chapter 6, Verse 8,” Hotch reads for the rest of the team.

Derek can’t help but scoff. “They’re killing sinners.” 

“These guys are on a mission. And mission-based killers will not stop killing,” Spencer says with a wince. 

“‘And I looked, and behold, a pale horse, and his name that sat upon him was Death,” Hotch begins, eyes trained on the Bible page.

Gideon continues, his voice quiet and grim, “And Hell followed with him.”

*** 

You sigh tiredly as you slump into the seat beside Spencer, playing with the cap of your water bottle. The sky outside is painted in oranges and purples as the sun begins to rise, and you try to hold back the frustrated groan when you see the blaring ‘4:22AM’ flash on your watch. 

“Is everything okay?” Spencer asks quietly, looking over at you.

You shake your head, running your fingers through your hair. “I just… I have a bad feeling about this case. There’s something… off about it.”

He hums in thought, “we’ve dealt with religious motives before, though.”

“I know but just–” you huff, leaning against the headrest. “It’s just weird. I mean, usually if one of the UnSubs were partnered with someone who was a liability, they’d eliminate them. But that’s just not happening here.”

“Don’t think about the case,” Spencer says gently, resting the palm of his hand flat against your knee. “It’ll be fine, trust me.”

When you don’t respond, he pokes your cheek gently shooting you a lopsided smile. “Hey. It’ll be okay.”

“I hope it will be,” you respond quietly, moving so that your cheek is pressed against his shoulder. “But you saw those images; what the UnSubs can do in less than five minutes. I know it’s nothing we haven’t seen before but–”

“(Y/N).” He squeezes your knee again and you flush as he continues to speak. “It’ll be okay. We’ll be back home before you know it. Trust me.”

You nod, although you can’t shake this feeling off. “Promise you’ll be safe?”

Spencer smiles at you. “Promise.”

*** 

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” you mutter, turning away as the video of Mr. Kyle being murdered plays on repeat. Your stomach churns at the mere mental image that pops up in your mind, and a chill run downs your spine. 

The case is a lot more gruesome than you expected it to be, especially when it came to the team’s attention that a video of the murder was circulating the internet. The video was currently being played on loop, with the voice of the UnSubs playing out of the computer. You thought you saw it all but this was unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. 

That is, until Spencer stood from his seat. 

“Agent Franks?” He whispers, looking towards the lead detective. “Does this building have wireless internet?”

Agent Franks nods. “Yeah. Why?”

Spencer swallows, gesturing to the computer. “That camera’s on right now. The computer has connected itself to the internet; it’s streaming a video feed somewhere.”

Hotch’s concern only deepens, along with the frown on his face. “Can we trace the stream to the destination?”

“If we keep it open, Garcia might be able to–” Spencer begins, only to be cut off by a beeping from the computer.

In bright red lettering, the words: ‘THE ARMIES OF SATAN SHALL NOT PREVAIL’ flash against the black screen before turning off.

“So, they’re controlling it remotely?” Hotch asks, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Is that even possible?” Emily asks in disbelief. 

“Yeah, you can totally access someone’s computer remotely. It’s actually done a lot today when a mortal calls for tech support. Instead of giving you instructions the tech can work on your computer from wherever she is,” Garcia explains through the phone. 

“And they maintain the access even after the work is done?” Hotch asks.

“They’re not supposed to, but I suppose you could install a Trojan horse.”

Spencer turns to Gideon. “Something left in the computer to be turned on later. It’s the same way that websites get pop-up ads onto your computer.”

“Garcia can you check the Kyles’ phone records and see if they called tech support in the last six months?” Hotch requests as he flips through the Kyle family’s folder. 

“Right-o. Oh, and if you get me the laptop I can search the drive for anything implanted there.”

Hotch nods. “As fast as we can.”

“By the way, this video? It’s gone crazy viral.”

Gideon frowns. “What does that mean?”

“That means it’s the most downloaded video on the entire Internet. Worldwide. And judging by the responses people seem to think it’s pretty cool.”

“Call us if you find anything on the Kyles’ computer,” Hotch mutters, before the phone hangs up.

“Honestly, they probably don’t even realise that the video is real,” you say quietly, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I mean, you see a video on the internet. The last thing you’d think is that it’s actual people being murdered.”

“They probably think that it’s marketing for a horror film or something,” JJ adds on, but the look on her face is just as disgusted.

“Well, the UnSubs were right about one thing,” Derek mutters, nodding grimly. “The world is pretty screwed up.”

*** 

After hours of going through files and trying to find a paper trail, you’re left with a mountain of paperwork in front of you and sore eyes. You press the pads of your fingers against the corner of your eyes, slumping over the table. 

“Hey.” 

Spencer’s voice brings you out of your thoughts and you peek a look at him. “Hm?”

A takeaway cup of coffee is placed in front of you and you immediately perk up. He chuckles softly, patting your head. “You looked like you needed it.”

You spy the name written across the paper cup and frown. “It’s your coffee.”

“You need it more than me,” he says honestly, smiling. “Besides, I’m okay.”

You take a tentative sip of the drink, the sweetness of the sugar overwhelming the bitter taste of the coffee but you don’t mind it. Instead, you didn’t actually mind it; especially because it’s from him. 

“Thank you,” you murmur. “We can share it if you want.”

He shakes his head ‘no’, turning back to the files on the page. “Where did you get up to?”

“Nowhere special. Agent Franks is right; there’s nothing in any of the files relating to knife fights that are remotely similar to the case,” you say, slumping against the table and leaning your head on your arm. “I’ve got six or so left to go through but I’m not getting much luck anyway.”

At that moment, JJ enters the room, holding another cream coloured file. “What if we were looking at this the wrong way?”

Hotch turns to her. “What do you mean?”

“I looked for unsolved home invasions. Three months ago there was a prowler called in directly outside of the Kyles’ house.”

Your brows knit together at her words and look up at her. “A prowler?”

JJ nods. “The witness was walking his dog in a nearby park. Going back to his car, he saw a man in dark clothing go over the back wall and start sneaking up to the house. By the time the police got there, the prowler was gone.”

“Only one man?” Hotch asks. 

“Apparently.”

“Was the witness able to describe the man?” Spencer questions.

JJ looks into the papers before shaking her head. “If he did, it’s not in this case file.

Hotch looks at JJ then back at the corkboard. “Is there a name and address to the witness?”

“Tobias Hankel,” JJ reads. “Lives about an hour from here.”

Hotch lets out a heavy sigh, rubbing his eyes. “It’s a long shot, but he might be able to give us a description. Why don’t you and Reid go out there, see if you can find Mr Hankel, and see if he remembers anything.”

You immediately frown, perking up at his words. “I can go too, sir. There’s a safety in numbers.”

“You’re exhausted and we need you here,” Hotch says, immediately shutting your suggestion down. “We don’t need three people to talk to a witness.”

Your face falls and your stomach churns. “I understand that, sir, but it’s late and wouldn’t it be safer if more people go?”

“We’ll be fine,” Spencer reassures, squeezing your arm. “We’ll be armed and we’ve got our phones.”

A small breath escapes you and you nod slowly, chewing your bottom lip. “Okay. Be safe.”

He smiles. “I will.”

JJ snickers lightly, turning to Hotch. “Be safe,” she echoes, grinning.

Hotch can’t help but chuckle as he returns with, “I’ll be so safe.”

“Oh shut up,” you laugh, rolling your eyes. “I’m gonna kill you.”

JJ grins. “But how will that keep us safe?”

You throw an eraser at her shoulder in response and she laughs loudly, walking out of the room. Spencer squeezes your arm again, rubbing your shoulder through the fabric of his jumper before following after her. 

It isn’t long before the lead detective rushes into the room, his words flying out of his mouth. “Agent Hotchner, we got another murder.”

*** 

“Tobias Hankel is the UnSub.”

Five words is all it takes for your world to come crashing down around you. Hankel? The UnSub? Your mouth is dry as the head detective explains about the dogs and you think you’re going to throw up. Your mind spins and your chest pounds with anxiety because oh God, what’s going to happen to the others? 

“We sent Spencer and JJ there,” you whisper, your throat closing up. You tug desperately at your collar, trying to breathe. “Oh my God, we sent them there. We sent them there.”

“Hey, hey,” Derek is quick to ground you, gripping your shoulders firmly. “They’ll be okay. It’s Spencer Genius Reid and Jennifer Bad-ass Jareau. They’ll be okay.”

You shake your head firmly, pulling away from his grasp and clutching your head. “I should be there with them. I should have gone with them. We don’t know what Tobias is capable of, Morgan, something could have happened to them.”

“We’re dispatching police now,” the detective says, getting off the phone. 

Tears spill from the corners of your eyes and you try to keep your breathing steady. It doesn’t work. The room is spinning and you can’t see straight. The words your team are trying to get through to you fades into background noise and you let out a choked sob. 

“They could be–” Your words don’t make it off your tongue and you turn, gesturing to the black screen that was once playing the video of the woman and the dogs. “Oh my God.”

“(Y/N),” Emily holds your shoulders tightly, her words a mixture of firmness and care as she tries to snap you out of it. “They’re going to be okay. We have to go there now.”

“They can’t be gone. Spencer can’t be gone,” you say, more to yourself than anything. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s go. We have to find them.”

The others don’t need to be told twice. You get into the passenger seat with Emily, trying to calm your breathing. One hour is too long. Why does Tobias have to live so far away? You press the palm of your hand to your mouth, the lump in your throat getting bigger. Hot tears fall down your cheeks as the world becomes a blur of flashing lights and you try not to cry. It’s your fault. You should have been there with him. There’s safety in numbers. Why didn’t you trust your gut?

“Don’t do that,” Emily says sternly, gripping the wheel tighter. 

You can’t bring yourself to respond, merely shaking your head adamantly. 

“Stop blaming yourself,” Emily tries again, glancing at you for a second before turning her attention back to the road. “It’s not your fault.”

“I should be there with them.” Your voice cracks pathetically and you wipe furiously at your eyes.

“You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have.”

She looks at you again. “Stop. You couldn’t have known. It’s not your fault.”

The rest of the car ride is silent. You’ve learned that this is the hardest part of the job: losing someone. Losing someone because of a job. It seems ridiculous, considering that it’s something so miniscule in the grand scheme of things, and yet it is the most common factor in divorces. A lack of commitment. Instead of committing to something that actually matters and can’t be replaced, their attention turns to something so lacklustre. If Spencer were here he would tell you the exact statistics. If Spencer were here, you wouldn’t even need to think about the statistics. 

The sound of sirens echo through the once quiet country area and the police officers file out of their cars. You fasten your Kevlar vest over your chest hastily, fumbling with the clasps as you jump out of the car. 

“John, Bobby, take the house with Hotch, Gideon and (L/N),” the captain orders, pointing towards the house. 

Your stomach lurches as Hotch busts the door open, and you move upstairs with your gun pointed out. 

“Clear!” You yell, rendezvousing with Hotch and Gideon soon after. 

“Downstairs is clear,” Hotch says, nodding towards you. 

“Then where the hell is he?” Gideon mutters, looking around the rooms of the house.

The blood rushes to your ears and the air grows thick. You can’t breathe. The house is unmaintained with mould growing in the corners of the rooms and dust gathering on the shelves, the paint on the walls cracking from water damage. Your eyes sting as the air pricks at your skin, and your legs carry you down the stairs and out the house.

“JJ,” you breathe, your eyes wide as you meet the blonde sitting at the back of an ambulance. You pull her into a hug. “You’re okay.”

It’s a different JJ to what you’re used to. She’s always been put together with not a hair out of place. She’s usually so full of life and mirth, bringing a sense of serenity and security when you need it most but this… 

Her blue eyes are red and puffy from crying and she’s shaking miserably against your body. She scratches at her wrists and picks at the bandages, her bottom lip trembling. Her gun is set beside her, not in the holster she usually carries it in.

“(Y/N),” she sobs, her voice cracking. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“What happened?” You demand. “Where’s Spencer?”

“I’m so sorry,” she repeats, shaking her head. “I tried–”

“Where is he, Jennifer?” You ask, pulling away from her like she burned you. “Where is he?”

She sobs again, clutching her head. “I don’t know, we separated–”

“What do you mean you separated?!” You’re trying not to scream. Your thoughts are running a million miles an hour. Spencer is gone. He’s gone. “Why would you do that?”

Jennifer lets out a wail, trying to explain herself through broken words. “We didn’t– he said– I’m sorry I’m sorry–”

“‘Sorry’ doesn’t bring him here, does it?” The words are harsh and low, and you tug at your collar again. “He’s not here, Jennifer! Does that mean nothing to you?!”

“(L/N), that’s enough.”

Hotch’s voice makes you snap your head in his direction and you see red. 

“I told you I should have gone with them,” you snap, and it doesn’t even occur to you that this man is your boss. “If I went with them, Spencer would still be here right now!”

“(L/N).”

“No.” You glare at him menacingly, too deep in your anger to even comprehend anything else. “He should be here right now! He should– he should be spouting out statistics or coming up with some theory! He should be here and he’s not!”

“We’ll find him. Trust me.”

“I did!” You yell, your voice fervent. “I trusted your judgement! And look where that got us. Spencer is gone. He’s not here, Hotch, because I trusted you!”

“(Y/N), enough.” Hotch is firm and he stares you down. “That is enough, do I need to remind you who you are speaking to?”

In an instant you stop, your heart lurching and you quiver. “... This is my fault.”

He immediately shakes his head no. “It’s not your fault.”

“I should have gone with him. I should have– it’s my fault. It’s my fault.” Your eyes well with tears and you tug at your hair erratically. “He can’t be gone. He’s not gone. He’ll figure something out. Why didn’t I do something? I should have–”

“Stop it. (Y/N), stop.” Hotch grips your shoulders squarely, bending down so that he’s eye level with you. “Take deep breaths.”

Your lungs burn as you try to breathe, hot ragged breaths leaving your lips shakily as you cover your face with the palms of your hands. Tears fall down your cheeks and gather in your hands as you make a desperate attempt to calm yourself down. It’s all too much. The sky is pitch black and the feeling of cold rain stings and bites your skin. The sounds of sirens fade away and for a moment it’s just quiet. Quiet, except for the words and the voices that swirl in your mind. 

“A man that matches Hankel’s description was spotted in the next town over.”

Derek’s words bring you out of your thoughts and you manage a soft, “What?”

“Alright,” Hotch nods, before turning back to you. “Go back to the police department.”

“What?” Your ears are ringing. You must have heard wrong. “No. No, no, I can’t– no, Hotch, I’m not going back to the police department. Spencer is missing.”

“You’re too close to the case.”

A humourless laugh leaves your lips as you stare at him. “We’re all too close to the case, Hotch. Look around!”

“You attacked JJ and you raised your voice at me. I want you to go back to the police department and work the case from there.” He speaks to you as if he were speaking to a child and it makes you feel sick.  

“Oh, so you’re punishing me?”

“No, I’m using you,” he says firmly, and then his voice softens. “It won’t do you any good to be here, (Y/N), you know that.”

“Aaron,” you try again, your voice wavering. “Please, don’t do this to me.”

“Go back and find us something that we can use.” He turns to one of the policemen. “Make sure she gets there.”

The policeman nods, tipping his hat, and gesturing for you to follow him. 

“Wait I– let me talk to JJ. I need– just, please,” you say quickly, clearing your throat. “Sir.”

He’s sceptical before nodding. “Go ahead.”

You don’t need to be told twice. In moments you turn back to the ambulance, letting out a heavy breath. “I’m sorry.”

JJ shakes her head adamantly. “No, you’re right. It was my fault.”

“It’s not,” you say quietly. “I know Spencer and I know you. It was… probably his idea to split up.”

She smiles wryly, fiddling at the bandage on her arm. 

“It’s not your fault,” you say again. You’re not sure who you’re trying to convince anymore. “You went through something too and I ignored that and that wasn’t right of me. I’m sorry.”

JJ sniffles, pursing her lips. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you respond quietly, patting her arm. “I need to go. Um, Hotch wants me off the case, or something.”

She nods. “Okay.”

You look at her again, the guilt building like bile in your stomach. “I really am sorry.”

“I know,” she whispers, wiping the tears away from her eyes. “We’ll find him.”

You don’t respond.

*** 

Everything hurts. His head is pounding and he can feel the sticky blood drip from the side of his head and against his cheek. His feet hurt from each thwack of wood, and his wrists hurt from the handcuffs. It’s cold. So, so cold, and he feels so weak. No amount of knowledge or training could have prepared him for this.

Spencer’s throat throbs from crying. No matter how many times he tries to convince whatever personality is taking over Tobias, it never seems to work. What’s the point of being a profiler if he can’t even save himself?

The creaking of the door brings him out of his thoughts and he jolts. Tobias, at least who appears to be Tobias, enters the room carrying a slaughtered animal. A shiver runs down Spencer’s spine and all he can do is watch. 

“You need to eat,” the man says, his voice strangely soft and oddly calm. 

“What’s your name?” Spencer asks, his voice small.

The man looks back at him. “Tobias.”

“Tobias, who was here before?” The fear is obvious in his voice and Spencer just wishes for an ounce of Hotch’s stoicism or Derek’s bravery. 

Tobias chuckles weakly. “It was probably my father. I’m sorry if he hurt you.”

Before he could comprehend his movements, Tobias takes off his belt and walks over to him. Spencer fears the worst. Did Tobias’s father take over again? He tries to inch away, struggling against the restraints as best he could.

“W-What are you doing?” Spencer asks shakily, trying to pull away from him.

Tobias doesn’t respond, slipping one end of the belt above his elbow. Everything begins to click.

“No, no. Don’t. Please, please don’t.” He resorts to begging. 

In this moment, Spencer hates the way his mind works because he doesn’t need to know the statistics. He doesn’t need to know that 75% of drug abusers started out using pain killers. His head swirls with what Tobias could be using. Codeine? Heroin? Opium? The list goes on and he tries to keep his breathing steady.

“It helps,” Tobias says, ignoring the way Spencer trembles and shakes his head adamantly. “Don’t tell my father. He doesn’t know they’re here.”

Tobias takes the syringe and the bottle out of his pocket and Spencer sobs even harder. He tries to appease him again, shrinking away as best he could in his chair. 

“Please,” he tries again, his chest heaving and tears wetting his waterline. “Please, I don’t want it, I don’t want it.”

“Trust me. I know.”

“Please,” he begs, tears slipping down his cheeks. “Don’t.”

Tobias doesn’t listen. 

The effects are far too quick for codeine, heroin or opium and Spencer can feel it hit. He knows it’s wrong. He can go on for hours about the statistics about it but the feeling so euphoric that he can’t help it. And then he sees it. 

“We have another recruit as well. Came in a couple weeks ago,” Derek told him, walking him through the halls of the BAU headquarters. “She’s part of the academy Honours program. Top of the class, apparently.”

“Oh.” Spencer nodded slowly, fidgeting with the zip of his bag.

Derek grinned. “Relax, kid. You still have the most impressive résumé. She’s just an intern; doing paperwork, mainly.”

“I wasn’t– I wasn’t worried about that,” Spencer stammered, wetting his bottom lip. “I mean– not that I think she isn’t smart or anything. I just meant–”

“Kid, I mean it when you have to relax,” Derek snorted as he opens up the door to the bullpen “Meet the rest of the team.”

He walked through the doors, ready to make his mark. He’s spent so long believing that he was nothing but now… he took another step, meeting Hotch’s gaze and– he didn’t get very far when something catapulted into his side. There was a flurry of paper work and cream coloured files, case details splayed all over the floor. Spencer grunted a little, tumbling to the ground like a house of cards. 

“Oh, my God, I am– I am so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going and I was running and I am not used to office attire! I am so sorry!” 

The ramblings of a girl– she couldn’t be older than him, at least, not by much– filled Spencer’s ears and he grimaces. “No, it’s– it’s okay. Don’t– uh– don’t worry about it.”

“(Y/N)...” JJ huffed out a quiet laugh, helping the other girl to her feet. “Are you guys okay?”

“I’m okay,” Spencer said, slowly getting to his feet. 

The girl didn’t do the same, instead scrambling to pick up the multitude of papers that litter the floor. “I’m fine! Just– great. Great. Brilliant.”

Spencer immediately started to reach for the papers, trying his best not crumple them up anymore than they already were. “You’re… the intern?”

“Is it that obvious?” You ask, breathless. “I’m still getting used to all…” You gesture wildly to the interior of the bullpen. “... this.”

“(Y/N), meet Doctor Spencer Reid. He’s the youngest addition to the team. Reid, meet (Y/N) (L/N). She’s part of the Academy Honours Program,” Gideon introduces, peering at the two of you from behind his glasses. 

“Hi,” you said meekly, stretching out your hand.

His words hitched in his throat because once he’s gotten past the flying papers and the fact that you literally ran into him, he realises just how beautiful you are. You were right there in front of him, close enough to touch but–

“I don’t shake hands,” he said quietly, the anxiety gnawing at his stomach. His fingers twitch at his sides and he moves them to grip the handle of his satchel. “Sorry.”

You smile at him and his heart thunders in his chest. Is this how Romeo felt when he met Juliet? Or how Charles Bingley felt when he met Jane Bennett? 

“It’s okay,” you told him, tucking the papers under your arm. “Don’t worry about it. So, you’re a doctor? That’s really cool!”

“Reid here got accepted into the BAU without even taking a physical exam,” Derek chimed in, practically bragging about Spencer’s intellectual prowess. “Isn’t that right, kid?”

“I’m not an athletic person,” Spencer said awkwardly, his worries dissipating when he heard you laugh good-naturedly. Regardless, he felt the urge to defend himself. “I’m not weak.”

JJ laughed along. “We know, Spencer.”

“I’m not weak… I’m not weak…”

“I don’t give a damn whether you’re weak or strong.” 

Spencer barely manages to blink his eyes open as he hears the familiar timbre of Tobias’s father’s voice fill the room. He’s slowly coming down from the high of the drugs and the room spins as he does. 

“Yell all you want boy,” Tobias sneers, bending down so that he’s eye level with Spencer. “Ain’t no one gonna hear you where you are.”

As if to prove his point, he begins to scream. Deep and rumbly, and it jolts Spencer back to reality. He wishes he was careful. He wishes he was with you.

*** 

“Tobias has dissociative identity disorder,” Garcia explains to you through the phone, and you slap a hand to your forehead. 

“That makes so much sense,” You mutter to yourself, pacing around the room of the police department. “I should have seen it. It was right there in front of me and I missed it.”

Penelope hums, her voice tense with worry. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. No one knew until we started digging into the journals and cross-checking dates.”

“I know but–” You rub your eyes, cringing as stars litter your vision– “it was just so obvious. What else have you gotten?”

It has been a little over ten hours since Hotch sent you back to the police department and you haven’t gotten much sleep. You tried, you swear you tried, but every time you see the terrified face of Spencer and it makes you sick. The whiteboard in front of you is littered with different evidence files and profiles. Profiles on Tobias, profiles on the victims, geographical profiles… the list goes on. 

“We know that Tobias is an addict,” Emily says. “He picked dilaudid as his poison.”

“For someone so hellbent on following the Bible, he’s incredibly hypocritical,” You say, jotting down the words onto the whiteboard. 

“His personality is split into that of his father, Charles, and Raphael,” Emily continues, and you can hear the frown in her voice. 

You’re about to say something when Garcia’s voice raises by an octave. 

“Oh God,” she squeaks, and you can hear the clicking of keys in the background. “Morgan? Emily, get the others, oh my God!”

“What’s going on?” You demand urgently, gripping the phone tighter. “Garcia, what’s going on?”

“It’s Spencer,” her voice is hushed and far from the speaker, and your heart sinks to your stomach.

“What happened? Penelope, what happened?”

“We have to go,” she says hurriedly, and the sound of footsteps from the rest of the team fill the speaker.

“No! Wait, don’t hang—“

The sound of the prolonged dial tone echoes in your ears and you resist the urge to scream. You press the pads of your fingers to your eyes, hot tears wetting your skin. Crying will get you nowhere and you know that. You know that Spencer is holding on. He’s relying on the BAU to save him. 

You gather all the available files on Charles Hankel, spreading them around the table. There’s not much to read; he’s lived a relatively quiet life. He was a farmer, his wife left him… dead end. Again. You’re at your wit’s end and you grab your keys. 

“John, want to work on a federal case?” You ask, shaking your keys. The younger policeman nods eagerly and you point to the door. “Great. Let’s go.”

It’s a small country town in Atlanta. Someone has to know something, especially if Tobias was a drug abuser. 

“We’re going to a few Narcotics Anonymous groups,” You explain to John who looks a little too excited to be sitting in a federal car. “Ask questions on Tobias Hankel and Charles Hankel. Someone has to know something.”

“All due respect, um, ma’am,” John stammers, and you raise an eyebrow amusedly. He coughs before continuing, “why aren’t you with the rest of the team?”

You falter, turning your attention back to the road. “They need me to work it from here. It doesn’t matter, anyway.”

Two miserable hours pass by with not much luck. Two hours that could have been used for something more meaningful than asking a bunch of drugged up assholes about the UnSub. Anxiety claws at your chest again as you flick through the answers. It’s nothing you didn’t already know. 

“I got something,” John says a little breathlessly, jogging back over to you. 

“Yes?” You need something. Anything. 

“A few sheep were stolen off of a farmer’s property,” he says, flipping through the notebook and reading off his scrawny handwriting. “Wasn’t Charles a farmer?”

“What does that have to do with–” You feel your mouth go dry and you turn to him. “Which farm?”

“Which– um…” He swallows. “Mcallister? Shawn Mcallister.”

In seconds you’re dialling Garcia again and she picks up with a trembling, “hello?”

“Is Spencer alive?” You ask firmly, slamming the car door. 

“Y-Yes. He’s– it’s not good, (Y/N),” she whimpers, clicking on the keyboard. “There was another murder. Spencer had to– he had to– he had to choose who to save. The UnSub fed a video to us, (Y/N), it’s horrible.”

There was another murder? John seizes up beside you and you grimace. You keep forgetting that John is practically a kid, barely twenty-one, and he hasn’t even seen the horrors of the world yet. 

“But he came back, right? To Spencer?” You ask, gripping the steering wheel tighter in an effort to keep yourself steady. “Penelope, Tobias posted a video of the latest murder, right? When was it posted?”

“9:23,” she says woefully, typing away.

“Okay, and…” you check the police radio, biting your lip nervously. “Okay, it says that the call for the murder came in at 9:04.”

There’s a little static in the background along with some shuffling before she responds. “Um… okay?”

“John, I need a map. Where’s– goddamn it– where’s the map of the area, John?!”

He fumbles, spreading the paper open. “Here!”

“That road– it’s 60 miles an hour, right? That means he needs to be–” you scribble across the map, frowning. “That’s within seventeen miles of the crime scene. There’s a farm, uh, poaching or something. Mcallister farm?”

“We’ll find something,” Penelope says quietly. “I’ll try find the farm area. He is going to be okay, I promise.”

You let out a heavy breath. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

*** 

The guilt alone is enough to kill him. Spencer knows that he is not at fault for this; Gideon said so. Regardless, he can’t get their faces out of his head. They were happy. What if they had kids? They were good people; they didn’t deserve to die the way they did. Spencer’s head pounds as he slumps against the chair, his breath quickening when he realises that Tobias is right there.

“Sorry, I had to leave for a while,” Tobias, the real Tobias, says quietly, strapping the belt to Spencer’s arm again.

He’s felt this so many times now. The high, and then the inevitable low. There’s no point fighting it, Spencer tries to justify, it’s biology. 

“You can leave again,” he says softly, “and you can take me with you.”

“My father would be angry,” Tobias says, drawing the liquid up the syringe.

“Not if he can’t find us.”

Tobias scoffs. “He always finds me.”

“If you tell me where we are, my friends will come and they’ll save us,” Spencer pleads, trying to look him in the eye.

“We can’t be saved,” he says dismissively, flicking the syringe. 

Spencer sniffles, and for a split second he feels the fear course through his veins. “We can. We can, I promise, if you tell me where we are I’ll save us both.”

“Listen to me. It’s not worth fighting.” Tobias pauses, readying the syringe. “Tell me it doesn't make it better.”

The silence that follows is humiliating. He hates the way that he isn’t fighting anymore but he can’t. It’s almost as if his body doesn’t even want to listen to him. Tobias doesn’t waste another moment and the familiar feeling of artificial ecstasy floods Spencer’s mind.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

The phrase was so unfamiliar and Spencer’s brows furrowed as he looked at you. It has been a couple weeks since you were officially indoctrinated into the BAU and he couldn’t be any happier. It felt nice to talk to someone who was his age, especially because he never really knew anyone of his age back in Las Vegas. 

“What do you mean?” He asked. 

You laughed and his heart fluttered in his chest. He remembered the feeling distinctly; how could he forget? The feeling is still the same now.

“I mean… tell me something not a lot of people know about you. Like… okay, I’ll go first. Um… my favourite flowers are hydrangeas. The purple ones.” 

He committed that information to memory. Every year for your birthday he would buy you a new pot of hydrangeas for your apartment or something flower related like an automatic waterer or a replacement sun lamp. 

“Hydrangea macrophylla,” Spencer said slowly, his cheeks flushed. “It means… gratitude, grace, and beauty. It’s fitting.”

He relished in the way your eyes lit up and the way you smiled at him. “Okay, your turn. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“Um… my middle name is Walter?” He chuckled awkwardly, wetting his bottom lip. “No one really calls me that, though.”

You typed something on your computer, reading out loud, “The name Walter is Germanic in origin and means ‘commander of the army’.”

His cheeks burned in embarrassment and he nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“I like it.” You grinned at him. “Walter.”

Spencer choked a little, the hairs on his neck standing on end and heat crawling up his cheeks. “You– you don’t have to call me that.”

“I won’t if you don’t like it,” you told him. 

“It’s not that I don’t like it,” he said quickly, his eyes widening. “I’m just not used to it.”

He remembers the way you beamed at him and the way he felt knowing that he made you happy. 

“Well then,” You began, meeting his gaze, “I guess that means I just have to call you that more often.”

Tobias’s yelling brings him back and all he can do is stare as he watches him slam on the keyboard angrily. A bright red pop up is flashing on his computer, and Tobias turns to Spencer with a murderous scowl. 

“They’re trying to silence my message.”

“I can’t control what they do,” Spencer defends tearfully, his voice wavering. “I’m not with them, I’m with you.”

Tobias scoffs again. “Really?”

He types something onto the keyboard and Gideon’s face show’s up on the screen. He’s leaning towards the camera, his words a mantra that Spencer repeats in his mind. 

“Reid,” the crackly audio sounds with Gideon’s voice, “if you’re watching, you’re not responsible for this, understand me? He’s perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him. He cannot break you.”

Tobias slams the computer off, walking back to him. “You think you can defy me?”

“I don’t know what he’s talking about–”

“You’re a liar!”

Spencer can only grimace in response, the words caught in his throat. Tobias must have been able to see something and the fear creeps into his heart again as the man lunges for his arm. Tobias forces Spencer’s sleeve up and the guilt crashes like waves. 

“You’re pitiful,” Tobias sneers, “Just like my son.”

Spencer wracks out a sob, silent pleas of mercy never leaving his lips. Maybe he does deserve this. Maybe, in some sick and twisted way, the universe is out to get him for all his shortcomings. Maybe, he thinks to himself as he watches Tobias turn the camera on, maybe he does deserve to die this way.

“This ends now,” Tobias snarls. “Confess your sins.”

“No,” he whimpers. 

Tobias’s fist collides with the side of Spencer’s face with a resounding slap. 

“Confess!”

“I haven’t done anything…”

His fist meets Spencer’s cheek again and all he can do is recoil in his chair.

“Tobias, help me,” he manages, but his plea is shut down almost instantly. 

“He can’t help you, he’s weak. Confess!” He hits him again and the pain is almost too much to bear. “Confess your sins.”

Spencer sobs. “No…”

In a fit of anger, Tobias throws Spencer to the ground. It hurts. Everything hurts as he feels the back of his head meet the cold musty ground. He can’t breathe. He feels like he’s underwater. Have to breathe, he needs to breathe, why can’t he breathe? He needs to see you again. He can’t die like this. He can’t, he can’t, he needs to breathe. He tries to take a breath of air but it’s like his mouth is full of water. And just when he thinks he reached the surface, he’s pulled under once again. 

Warmth. The feeling of his blood pumping to his ears is the first thing Spencer feels and his fingers twitch. He’s alive. There’s only one reason why that must have happened. 

“I was given CPR,” he rasps out, Tobias’s words swirling in his head. 

“There are no accidents,” Tobias says slowly. “How many members are in your team?”

Spencer can barely whisper the word. “Eight.”

“Seven, not including you. ‘The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail and they were thrown to Earth’.” He hoists Spencer’s chair upright, standing before him. “Tell me who you serve.”

“I serve you.”

“Then choose one to die.”

Spencer blanches, looking up at him. “What?”

“Your team members. Choose one to die.”

He doesn’t need to think when he responds, “kill me.”

Tobias jeers. “You said you weren’t one of them.”

“I lied.”

“Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies.”

Spencer breathes in as if it were his last. “No.”

Tobias pulls out a revolver from his jacket pocket, spinning the cylinder before aiming it for Spencer’s head. “Choose, and prove you’ll do God’s will.”

“No.”

Tobias clicks the trigger and nothing happens so he repeats, “choose.”

“I won’t do it.”

The trigger clicks again and nothing happens. “Life is a choice.”

“No.” 

Spencer’s mind is racing. His first thought goes to you. He knows you would understand any and all references he throws in your direction, but it makes him sick just thinking about putting your life on the line. He needs something. He needs to think. 

“Choose.”

“I choose…” his voice stammers and he can barely see straight. “Aaron Hotchner.”

*** 

“We got him.”

The words echo in your mind as you pace up and down your hotel room, chewing on your destroyed nailbeds. It’s nearing two in the morning and you can’t sleep. The rest of the team are awake. Why should you be given the privilege of rest when none of them were able to? Why should you be given the privilege of rest when Spencer is out there fighting for his life? It’s not fair. Life isn’t fair.

When you hear the sirens outside you run out the door. Blood is pulsing in your ears and you’re still wearing the thin hotel slippers but it doesn’t matter. How could anything else matter? The car door clicks open and Emily helps Spencer out of the car. She whispers something to him and he looks in your direction. Those big hazel eyes stare at you with so much hurt and you can’t contain it anymore. 

“Spencer.”

His arms wrap around your waist, his nose pressing against your neck as he holds you, breathing in the smell of your vanilla perfume. He almost doesn’t believe you’re real. He pulls you impossibly closer, sniffling, and he can feel your fingers run through his hair. 

“You’re okay,” you whisper, trying to be reassuring, but he can hear the way your voice cracks. “You’re okay.”

“I should have listened to you,” He whimpers, feeling the cold wet rain soak through his shirt. “I should have– I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head. “Don’t be, Walter.”

The moment he hears that name spill from your lips he begins to cry. He’s okay. He’s with you now. You’re right here. 

“I thought–”

You shush him for the first and last time, squeezing his arms. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

He wonders how a person could be so warm. Even in the cold Atlanta weather you’re still so warm. 

“Hotch wouldn’t let me work the case from the house,” you tell him quietly as you sit beside him on the bed. “Understandable. I screamed at him.”

He chuckles a little, flinching when you gently pull the bandage off the side of his face. He feels a lot better now that he’s clean, the shower more than necessary and he savours the feeling of warm water on his skin. The gash on his head is oozing sticky blood and you dispose of it accordingly, reaching into the first aid kit. 

“It’s gonna sting a little,” you tell him, pressing a damp cloth to the wound. 

He hisses at the contact, gripping your arm and he tries to change the subject. “Why did you scream at Hotch?”

You hum, continuing to clean the blood off his head. “I was mad at him.”

“It wasn’t his fault.”

“I know.”

You smile at him, applying a new bandage to his head. “It’s okay. I was able to help the case from here, anyway.”

“Stay with me,” he whispers, squeezing your hand. “Please?”

Your gaze softens. “Of course, Walter.”

He curls into your side, an arm wrapped around your middle and he breathes in the scent of your strawberry and honey shampoo. Your fingers curl in his hair, untangling the knots when your eyes flicker to your desk, the letter of resignation tucked inside your bag. He doesn’t need to know that. At least, not yet.

*** 

You knock at the door of Hotch’s office, chewing on your bottom lip. You remember being in this office for the first time four years ago when you were an intern; the way you shook with nerves and anticipation as you handed in your résumé for the honours program and then again when you were hoping to take the job full time. It’s ironic that you’re back at his office again, but for a very different reason. 

“Come in.”

The breath that leaves your lips is shaky and you take a seat in front of his desk. “Hotch.”

“(Y/N).”

You place the pristine white envelope onto the desk,watching the way his face shifts from stoic to surprised.

“You don’t have to do this,” He says, not touching the envelope. “The situation at hand was stressful. No one blames you for reacting the way you did.”

“It’s not just because of that,” you say slowly. “You were right. I was too involved.”

He shakes his head. “That’s not true.”

“It is,” you say quickly, a humourless laugh slipping at your words. “I would have killed him.”

Hotch looks at you, his eyes meeting yours. “You wouldn’t have.”

“I would have,” you say surely. “After what he did to Spencer, if I had found him I would have killed him. And I would have– I would have slept well. I love this team, Hotch, but I can’t separate those feelings when I’m on the field no matter how hard I try.”

He’s quiet for a moment before nodding, rising from his seat. “I’m assuming it’s a two-week’s notice?”

You nod, also getting up from your chair. “Yeah. I– I don’t want to just leave, you know?”

“We’re going to miss you,” he says, walking with you to the door, “but this will be good for you.”

“I know.” You can feel the stares of the rest of the team through the glass and you can’t help but smile. “They’re horrible at being nonchalant.”

“They’re profilers,” Aaron chuckles. “Can you blame them?”

“I guess not,” you muse, pulling the door open. “Thank you, Aaron.”

“You always have a place here, (Y/N),” he says gently as you walk back down to the bullpen. 

It doesn’t take long before the overflowing dam of questions burst and in moments Emily is crossing the room and sitting next to you. 

“You’re leaving the BAU?”

You look at her with wide eyes before laughing a little. “You… are very good at your job, huh?”

“Oh…” Penelope tackles you in a hug, her arms tight around your frame. “We’re going to miss you.”

JJ sniffles a little, joining the hug. “Don’t forget us.”

“As if I ever could.” A bittersweet smile rests on your lips. 

Derek hugs you as well, his chin on the top of your head. “Look after yourself, kid. We’ll make these last two weeks the best you’ve ever had.”

“If you ever need anything…” Emily begins slowly, squeezing your hands. “I’m here, okay?”

Gideon pats your shoulder lightly, a sad smile on his face. “You’re a good person. Never forget that.”

You nod, trying to blink away the tears that fill your eyes. “I know. Thanks, you guys.”

The opening and shutting of the BAU doors brings you out of your thoughts and the familiar head of brown hair stalking away makes your face fall. Gideon meets your gaze, gesturing towards the door. That’s all you need to run out of the bullpen. 

“Spencer– Spencer, wait, please.” You tug on his arm desperately. “Please–”

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” He asks, his voice cracking. It has only been a few days since the incident and he looks a little better. The scratches on his face are still visible, but they’re fading slowly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I–” you falter, flinching at the pain and hostility in his voice. “It was never a good time.”

He scoffs quietly, rubbing at his arm. “You should have told me.”

“I couldn’t just randomly tell you,” you say, frowning. “How would that be fair?”

Spencer rubs his eyes, the dark bags beneath them even more prominent. “Why are you leaving?”

“I have to,” you say gently, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I love this job but I can’t do it anymore–”

“Why not?!”

“Because–!” You exhale, trying to calm yourself down. “Because I swore an oath when I took this job that I will put this country above myself. And I can do that. I would die for this country to protect the people in it, I will hunt down the people who make this country so unsafe and I will sacrifice myself willingly, but you? I can’t– I can’t lose you. If I had to choose between catching the UnSub and saving you, I would save you in a heartbeat. Even if that meant letting a bad guy go. Even if that meant more people would get hurt I would still choose you and I can’t let that happen.”

Your words deem him speechless and he shifts his weight on his feet. For a moment, all he can do is stare at you as your reasoning sinks in. It makes sense. He hates that it makes sense. 

“So that’s it?” He asks quietly, finally looking you in the eye. “You’re actually leaving?”

“Not for another two weeks,” you tell him truthfully. “Besides, you can still text me. And call me. You know where I live so you can always visit.”

He bites the inside of his cheek anxiously, teetering on his feet before hugging you tightly, burying his nose into your hair. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I’m going to miss you too.”

His grip is tight around you and if you paid attention you could feel him tremble. “I can’t do this job without you.”

“Don’t say that,” you whisper. “You can, Walter. You’re stronger than you think you are.”

There are so many things he wishes he could tell you. You’re right here. He doesn’t have to yearn for your touch anymore because you’re right here in his arms. He wants to tell you so many things. Like how he adores the colour of your eyes, or the way you smile, or the way your hair falls. He wants to tell you how much he likes spending time with you and how he feels so good with you but he can’t. The words are at the tip of his tongue so how can he not say anything?

“I–” love you– “I’m really going to miss you.”

“Me too,” you whisper. “Me too.”

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full work

reblogs are always appreciated!

[pasteilian]

Do you have a recommendation when designing a black character? Or tips, or maybe pages you visit for references?

Suck at explaining stuff but I’ll try

‼️ Ethnic Features ‼️

So, the art world is in a very weird place when it comes to ethnic features. The conversation was about how using POC ethnic features as an insult in media was damaging and needed to stop, and that somehow morphed into people being scared about drawing people with those features.

Black people have big ears, big noses, and big lips. That's not the problem. The problem was that media was using it to make us look like giant ape, monkey, monster creatures. It's okay to give them these defining features.

Also, remember that brown people have lighter pigment under their feet, hands, and bottom lips. 🌸 (didn’t really know where to put this but drawing mix people is basically a spin the wheel we come in all different shapes and sizes and features. There’s really no wrong way to draw a mixed POC.)

‼️ It's Just My Style ‼️

I'm so goddamn tired of hearing this goddamn excuse. A style does not mean you can't properly represent POC. I would even go on to say that if your style is stunting you so grossly that you can't draw a proper black person, you have a bad art style. Sorry—not really.

Media has shown us that style does not stop representation. The only thing stopping that is your ignorance and refusal to improve. Great examples of ranging styles still being able to represent different POC are "Adventure Time," "Disney's Soul," "Proud Family," "Afro Samurai," etc. I'm just saying this because I've seen this excuse be more prevalent in the art world, and it's just better to nip that in the bud.

‼️ Whitewashing + I Don't Know How to Use the Color Brown ‼️

I've seen people make the excuse that the skin color is lighter because they use a pastel style, but they never bring up the fact that the only color in the art that's lighter is the skin tone. 💀

Also, the whole thing about people saying they don't know how to shade and color brown palettes is just completely bullshit. I would even say that trying to shade pale colors is harder than shading darker colors. Additionally, there are multiple artists and tutorials showing you exactly how it's done. You have no excuses other than you just don't want to.

YouTuber Sinix has a great video on painting skin tones!

‼️ Black Hairstyles ‼️

I love dreads. Dreads are a very pretty hairstyle. However, we have more hairstyles other than dreads. If you're going to draw black characters, I would encourage you to branch out and explore beyond dread heads. There are so many unique black hairstyles out there. We need to move on from just focusing on dreads.

YouTuber Ari has two wonderful videos on black hairstyles in video games. I would recommend checking them out.

‼️ References ‼️

I love referencing old black media such as "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," "The Proud Family," and "Little Bill" (before all the Bill Cosby stuff came out). I also appreciate how "House of the Dragon" implemented black people into the lore. Other references include "BOTW/TOTK Rottmnt," etc.

Some artists I reference all the time are Mohammed Agbadi, who doesn't do many art tutorials anymore but often discusses black characters in media, and his art is still amazing. Ethan Becker has a very interesting video on the racist triangle that I recommend checking out.

On Instagram, I love the art of Jojo.Dreamie, Chibichanga12 (holy shit, love their art), Bruniosktch, and Caw.Chan. I also just reference my family a lot. 💀

This is a lot of rambling, but what I’m gonna say is don’t stunt yourself by tricking yourself into believing that your art can’t include POC 🌸🌸‼️💌💖💌💌🎀💕💘‼️🧁

[junabuggy]

Okayy so I’ve done something similar but I wanted to see it from someone else but it’s Creepy pasta room head canons !!! I don’t mind who you do but I would love to see Jack’s most of all !! Thank you <3

Creepypasta room headcanons

A/n: At the beach rn with family.. sighhh I hate the beach (._.) BUT I LOVE THIS REQUEST !!! LMK IF YALL WANR A PART TWO (^_-)☆

Includes: Jeff, Ej, Toby, BP and Nina :333

Warnings: None

「 ✦ Jeff ✦ 」

🔪✮ MESSY ASS ROOM and it does NOT smell all that great tbh 😭😭

🔪✮ Has zero shame about it too, you come to hang out in his room he'll just kick stuff to the side and shove stuff off the bed casually.

🔪✮ Posters all over the walls, most of them are of bands he enjoys (He stole most of them 💀)

🔪✮ Jeff has a knife collection so he has a little setup for them :3

🔪✮ ALSO!!!! Side headcanon he fucking loves MSI (The song "This Hurts" by them is literally him chat)

🔪✮ There's a window in his room by his bed that you can use to get to the roof of the manor, it's actually got a pretty damn good view too

🔪✮ Has a mini fridge in his room beside his bed that has drinks in it

🔪✮ Mostly energy drinks and Pepsi with like, a singular water that'll never get drank.

🔪✮ Probably doesn't have sheets on his bed.. the mattress is full of mysterious stains

🔪✮ Musty BEAST (I love him)

「 ✦ Eyeless Jack ✦ 」

👁️‍🗨️𖤐 Jacks room doesn't smell all that great either.. he keeps all his organs to munch on and such in there.

👁️‍🗨️𖤐 There really isn't much there tbh, just the essentials to have in a bedroom.

👁️‍🗨️𖤐 A bed, a wardrobe, chair and a desk with an old computer on it..

👁️‍🗨️𖤐 Oh and a few shelves with one big window that he usually keeps closed ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)

👁️‍🗨️𖤐 His flooring is a grey-ish carpet and his walls are painted black

👁️‍🗨️𖤐 Kinda boring, ik 😭

「 ✦ Toby ✦ 」

🪓☆ Chaotically clean room, bro is a maximalist to the extreme (^o^)

🪓☆ ‼️‼️ He yearns to collect ‼️‼️

🪓☆ there's a few shelves with trinkets he's collected over the years on them (≧ω≦)

🪓☆ Posters, banners, stickers, drawings and records littered eevveryywhere on the walls and ceiling of his room (maybe this is just projecting because thats witterly my room ☝️)

🪓☆ Has the glow in the dark star stickers on his ceiling for sure

🪓☆ His room is MUCH bigger than the other proxies, has everything he needs and more

🪓☆ I mean, he has a little couch in there that has a big stuffed animal on it and a bug blanket (His hyperfixation is bugs, if you couldn't tell /silly 🪲🪲 )

🪓☆ He spends a shit ton of time in his room because it's genuinely super cool

🪓☆ Has a Tv mounted on his wall in the corner !!

🪓☆ Oh and he has a guitar in his room that he l can't play, he just thinks it looks cool o_O

「 ✦ Bloody Painter ✦ 」

🎨꩜ VERY CLEAN ROOM. AND VERY PARTICULAR ON HOW HE KEEPS THINGS.

🎨꩜ Don't mess with any of his shit without permission first and you'll be fine 🙏

🎨꩜ Has some of the normal (Ones that he doesn't use blood in, he keeps those safe.) paintings, drawings and sketches he's made on his wall behind his easel in the corner of his room :33

🎨꩜ I also think he likes to write!! So maybe some poetry is on his wall as well in that little corner ^_^

🎨꩜ Almost the entirety of his back wall is window which he loves

🎨꩜ HAS PLANTS !!!! 🌱��

🎨꩜ Has a nice desk to draw on with a comfortable chair. Theres a nice smelling candle on it with a few books and a lamp (●＾o＾●)

🎨꩜ Also owns the most??? Comfortable?? Blankets?? EVER????? Amazing textures, NO SHERPA <(｀^´)>

🎨꩜ Has a drawer thingy dedicated to his art supplies (Which is also very organized, btw)

🎨꩜ HE HAS A RECORD PLAYER. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

「 ✦ Nina ✦ 」

🪱ᰔ SHES A SCENE GIRL!!! ROOM IS SCENE!!!

🪱ᰔ Like holy shit it's so colourful ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

🪱ᰔ LOTS and LOTS of homemade stuff stuck on her walls along with various other things, there's stuff everywhere

🪱ᰔ Now you already know she owns a gir blanket and a gir backpack, like cmon (灬ºωº灬)♡

🪱ᰔ Collection of stuffed animals !! Some on her bed and some in a hanging net in the corner above her bed

🪱ᰔ Has LED lights and there's no windows in her room

🪱ᰔ Has a nice desk with a computer on it and trinkets, her keyboard lights up rainbow ☆´∀｀☆

🪱ᰔ Her wardrobe and closet are FULL. She has like, so many cool clothes, belts and accessories

🪱ᰔ Convinced slender to let her paint her walls funky and cool !!

🪱ᰔ Soooo her walls are purple and she painted on with a smaller paint brush cheetah print all over them :3 (She's an icon and I love her dearly)

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 ����𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞

ᯓ★ 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐲

[simplydannie]

Previous: “It Was An Accident” || Vaughn Montegue

TRIGGER WARNING ‼️ Mention of deceased and g*ns

Cover art by the amazing @djpixelskitten 🫶 Story inspired by my friend @jules0511 when she said about doing a story where their dad finds out one of them died….What if he found out both died?

An accident leaves both twins deceased. Floyd only gazes at the wreckage. A familiar face of the twins past reappears…Angered, broken, enraged about their death, their father promises only one thing: revenge on the one who is responsible….and his eyes are glued the Mistress

Floyd leaned his forehead against the wall of the diamond he was encased in. He saw the medics arrive, he saw them remove the twins bodies from the wreckage….he saw them being placed in body bags

“…Oh god….” He fell to his knees as he allowed the tears to flow. Floyd’s body shivered with every cry, he hugged himself hoping it would comfort him…but it didn’t, how could comfort come from this? He lost both of them….BOTH of them.

“Floyd?” He heard Branch call his name, but he didn’t have the strength to turn, he didn’t have the strength to respond. Branch and his brothers gazed at each other as they witnessed their brother’s heartbreak.

“Did you know?” Branch heard Poppy’s voice. He turned and faced her.

“Did I know what?”

“…How much they meant to him?” She asked.

“I didn’t….I had no idea…”

“…The kid tried. He tried to admit everything right then and there as he was driving. His sister though….she had a look in her eyes…it wasn’t…it wasn’t natural…” Bruce added remembering the exact moments before the accident.

A few moments of silence passed….

“…..It wasn’t normal….” Floyd finally responded, “It was poison. She was poisoned because of me…All the essence they used of me…Something changed in them….They weren’t the kids I had come to know..”

All the Trolls fell silent as they were approached by male Rageon, a security.

“You must be the little guys Veneer was talking about.” He said.

“What do you mean?”

“We all saw the live feed….right before the crash.” He leaned over and opened the diamonds that held each and every one of the brothers, “I’m sorry. We didn’t know what they were doing. The twins don’t act or speak for the rest of Mount Rageous. I’m sorry we didn’t realize what was happening sooner.”

“It wasn’t them!” Floyd called out.

“Veneer just admitted- “ The cop began to say.

“I know what he said, but it wasn’t them! They were groomed, tricked, used!” Floyd cried out.

“By who?”

“Someone named Mistress.”

“What’s her real name?”

“I….I don’t know…”

“What corporation does she work for?”

“……I don’t know…..”

“….Do you have any evidence?”

“……no…..”

The security saw the disappointment cross the Trolls face, he let out a sigh. He went and grabbed each of the diamonds the Trolls had been placed in…

“Wait!” Floyd called out, “Those diamonds! They’re evidence.”

“The twins had the diamonds…”

“Yes! But she gave them the diamonds! It’s, just trust me.”

“Listen,” the security said, “I want to help you I really do. If you could somehow give us evidence of this woman, then we will be more than happy to help you. But without solid evidence, there’s not much we can do… I’m sorry.” The security took the diamonds with him. Floyd saw as the medics began moving the body bags and placing them on a stretcher.

“Wait….WAIT!” Floyd ran towards them. Branch reached out to take hold of his brother.

“Floyd no. It’ll be to painful.”

Floyd continued to struggled against this brother…One by one each came to hold him back, to soothe him with words.

“I just need to see them one last time please!” He cried.

“…Not like this bro, not like this.” John Dory replied, a tear falling down his face. Floyd kicked and screamed, trying to escape, trying to run towards the twins as they lay inside the body bags. The medics heard the cries of the small Troll and hesitated before beginning to lift the stretcher…..

….That’s when the sound of a vehicle was heard coming down from the highway, its engine and tires echoing within the walls…

“What the hell?” An officer said, “No one else should have clearance.”

The black vehicle came to a screeching halt, the front door opening…That’s when Floyd saw the figure getting off the car, recognizing him immediately: black vest, with a button up, white, rolled up shirt at the bottom, black pants, the same pale skin, except he had dark green hair slicked back, and bright piercing blue eyes. If you didn’t know him you thought you would be looking at….

“Veneer?” Branches words escaped in a gasp….but then he realized it wasn’t Veneer. This Rageon was older, and adult, he could tell by the eyes…

“No. That’s Vaughn.” Floyd said, “Their father.”

Vaughn’s eyes darted around the wreckage. Closing his door, he began to walk slowly, taking in everything. He saw the live feed, the footage right before the screen exploded and went black…That’s when he knew. He noticed blood in one area, and blood in another…

“Sir. You cannot be here. This is a….” The cops words were cut off as Vaughn pulled out a hand gun, pointing it straight between his eyes. The other Rageons jumped…guns. They weren’t normal in Mount Rageous, but definitely not unheard of. The Trolls gasped at the sight…they waited to see if he would pull the trigger… The cop swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Where are they?” Were the words Vaughn spoke.

“W-who?” The cop stammered.

“….The boy and the girl in the wreckage. Where are they?” He demanded again, “I am not patient. So don’t test me.” The hand gun clicked as he loaded it ready for fire.

“O-over there! The two involved in the wreckage are over there!” The cop exclaimed. Vaughn followed the cops hand…His gaze falling upon two black body bags loaded onto a stretcher.

Vaughns lips parted as a small gasp escaped them. He grabbed the cop from the collar and shoved him out of his way. Vaughn quickly made his way towards the bags until he caught sight of something….something small….the Troll. He paused in his steps.

“….You….” He spat as he looked at Floyd, “You little rat….” Taking out his gun again he was about to make his way to kill the Troll when he saw the medics moving the body bags once again. “DONT YOU DARE!” He shot into the air, then pointed the gun towards the medics.

“Don’t you dare touch them. Don’t you dare move them.” He neared the medics as they held their hands up in surrender, “Open them.” Vaughn demanded.

“…but sir…”

“I SAID OPEN THEM DAMMIT!”

With a small hesitation the medic bent over and unzipped the body bags…one by one….and there they were…

Vaughn felt his knees buckle. He clicked the gun again, “Get back……I SAID GET BACK!” He demanded as the medics retreated.

After moments, his arm fell to his side…the gun landing on the floor with a soft thud. He walked up slowly and kneeled down in between each of the twins. Vaughn saw the damage the crash had done…scratches and bruises stained their skin…but even then, they looked peaceful…they looked as if they were sleeping. He reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind Velvet’s ear. She truly resembled her mother, but with his fiery spirit. Vaughn then reached and brushed the hair out of Veneer’s closed eyes…his boy. He hoped that at any moment they would open their eyes, that they would sit up….He wished that this was just a bad dream.

A lump formed in his throat as the anger and hurt swelled in his heart…

Floyd saw this and began to near him.

“Floyd no.” John Dory reached out, but Floyd shoved him away. The small Troll neared the Rageon. As if sensing his presence Vaughn spoke…

“Why did you take them from me?” He asked, a coldness in is voice.

“…I didn’t.”

“DONT LIE TO ME!” The Rageon spat.

“Vaughn….I would never take them away from you…..You pushed them away.” Floyd said.

“…I did everything for them. Provided for them..”

“You did everything for them…except be the father they needed you to be...” Floyd said, “…I tried to keep them from running away. But they wouldn’t listen. They would’ve run away with or without me. I didn’t want them being alone in that god-forsaken under-city.”

“….Then why didn’t you tell me��Why didn’t come and tell me what they were planning.”

“…You were dealing Trolls Vaughn. You would have caught me the second i had showed my face… Besides, wouldn’t you have believed a Troll telling you your children wanted to run away would you?…” Floyd got nearer, and nearer. He walked up in between each of the twins. Out stretching his hands, he touched their cold cheeks. He then looked up towards their father…seeing that tears finally fell down his face. The Troll noticed, that with no one watching, he allowed himself to be vulnerable…But Floyd was there, he was watching…Why then did Vaughn allow himself to be vulnerable around him? Was it because he didn’t see him as much of a threat?… Or maybe, Vaughn knew who he could trust afterall….

“…..Just know….I loved them.” Floyd finally said.

“….How could you not have loved them…” Was all Vaughn responded. He reached his arms and grasped each twin in each of his hands. He gently placed his hands behind their limp heads and pulled them near his chest…Their bodies were cold…So, so cold. As Vaughn held them a memory came to him his mind. A memory from a time where things were simple, when he thought he could be happy… when he thought that he could actually have a family…

…They were so small, yet, so precious. The twins were placed in each of his arms. He looked down at them, swaddled deep in blankets, everything about them was tiny…their eyes, their nose, their tiny lips…He looked up at his wife, Vivian. She rested her head against the pillow. Even after those tedious hours of labor and just birthing their babies, she was still as radiant and beautiful as always. A smile was on her face as she gazed upon him.

“Why are you smiling?” He had asked her.

“I just love the sight of a father, meeting and embracing his children for the first time.”

And now here he was….embracing them for the last time. He gently leaned them back…rage coursing his veins once again. Floyd noticed something in Vaughns eyes that he had seen before, something he had seen in Velvet…The pink hue shining through…

“….Where is she?” Vaughn asked.

“W-who?” Floyd grew nervous.

“That snake….That vile woman who took them from me….The one who did this to them… WHERE. IS. SHE.” Vaughn demanded.

“…She’s cunning…She’s probably laying low for now…And she’s probably watching.” Floyd replied.

Vaughn looked up, his eyes falling upon a camera at the corner of the tunnel. A smirk came across his face, his eyes still glowing, his tone vile and menacing.…

“Then if she’s watching….She’ll know I am coming for her….and I will END her.”

[satanicsanity]

Hello! It's me again! I was wondering if you could do Wally being jealous because neighbor is giving attention to their cat more than him??

YOU DONT HAVE TO THO- 🧍uhh, anyways have a good day/Night! And make sure to get enough rest! <3

Haha!! Of courseee! <3 you got it, my dear!

Tw: Wally bein' a little upset (angy-) with listener

‼️please go support wally's ACTUAL voice actor, @DaFrankiestein!🩷🩷🩷‼️

The art & characters used are by clown/party coffin!🩷Go support them and donate to their Kofi of you can!

Subtitles, wally speaking: [Sigh] ...Neighbor, you've been petting that cat for a while now. Don't you think you should maybe do something else? Maybe watch something or... What?! Am I jealous that you're spending time with your cat? Oh come now, Neighbor! That is absurd! The amazing wally darling does not get jealous. [pause] Oh hah hah, you really think giving your cat kisses is going to make me jealous? It's not! I-I'll tell you right now it's not. [pause, scoff] Okay, you know what? Just.. Stop it. Just... Move! [Wally moves the cat and pulls y/n into a tight embrace] No I'm N- I'm not jealous!! I just want to hug you for a minute, okay? Or maybe two minutes. It doesn't matter!! ...Thank you. Gosh, honestly neighbor you are so aggravating. Okay fine, maybe I'm a little jealous but that's It. Yeah yeah whatever, [sigh] honestly... Jeez.

[sugarpasteltmnt]

IN HIS DEFENCE YOUR HONOR, HE IS JUST A SILLY BOY

I'll just drop a little art here, keep doing what you're doing, you're doing amazing! You write so well and I can only imagine the effort it takes to pull out these chapters, so please take care of yourself too!! I've already absolutely word-vomited how much I love your work and hyukin I'll do it again-

The way that all of the brothers react to Leo is just so believable and heart-wrenching and oh my goodness poor Raph give the poor boy a break- The recovery arc that hopefully will come is gonna be a long journey (Probably more Dr. Delicate touch than Dr. Feelings slapping some of that self-sacrifice out of Leo-). Also, the sibling sense needed to make both of the climatic scenes in your fics during the Thanksgiving parade is just great, I swear it's like that sometimes though.

At the start of chapter 22 he isn't Void he's Leo. He is coping with these events as Leo. Only when he realizes that it's all real does he slip back into the Void mask. We as readers can see the literal struggle between Leo and Void through his ninpo, as it seems like (correct me if I'm wrong, or don't lol) it burns the krang infection, it seems like the only thing that can actually hurt the infection. Leo is extremely damage-resistant to the point that even nonconsensual amputation isn't really an issue to him but ninpo seems like the only thing that can genuinely hurt him. Even if I'm completely off with this whole rant, it's so cool to see how the story unfolds, trying to figure out the limits of your universe is an amazing experience.

Every time you update I feel so glad that I can see the story unfold in real time. I can't wait for the next update, but don't feel like you need to push yourself for this fic, you're doing great, especially with the quality of what you write! Maybe it's a little repetitive at this point, but really I find it absolutely unbelievable what you are able to do and I admire your ability to write such convincing narratives.

Anyways, please take the silly boi :D

THANK YOU YOU'RE SO SWEET!!!! it makes me so so so happy to hear that you're enjoying both perspectives, because it's very fun to write and i love to explore what everyone might be feeling ;w; and i'm having a LOT of fun exploring Ninpo. I'm a little sad we didn't get more of since the show ended right after the Shredder fight, but I like to think that there's nothing like it-- something unique just for them 🩵

AND THANK U FOR THE FANART AHHH 🩵😭💞💘💗‼️

[sunny-porridge]

fics that brought me back to life in June

Retired Assets - by @lele5429

Retired Assets flows like a stream. Ravio as the main character is precious, and the way wordbuilding is weaved in with profound relationships and emotions has made it my favorite this month. Five chapters in, I've already held my heart in my hands as the raw emotions mix in with the plot twists poetic prose. Best of all, it has art! Amazing, wonderful art!

—

Since we are made of the Earth and Rain - by FilipaMariaKecharitomene

"But hairband, clearly you're biased, this was a gift fic for you."

Excuse me, I'm a professional.

This piece made my heart soar. It's short, with nothing but heart and humor to give. It's intensely emotional, but it highlights love and hope and appreciation for the goodness of the world.

Also, this short work is part of a series which I highly recommend. Fair warning - "Travel through the Darkness" is a lot more intense and involves quite sensitive topics. So far, I've found it does so with dignity and respect, but if you do decide to read it, please read the tags!

--

An Unremitting Ululation - by @not-freyja

Surprise, bitch. You thought you had seen the last of me?

They say grief is love persevering. Well, Twilight took that literally.

This may be confusing to follow if you haven't read This is an Adjuration, the first work in this series and the fic of all time.

--

in the manner that people used to dance - by @rebornofstars

You never expect to be hit right in the feels by re-reading a fic that you remember well. I might say I liked this better the second time - I got to pay more attention to so many little details!

This is a story about what happens to love after death.

--

Fairy Chime, Fairy Chime - by koogi123 (drlessy)

This one is for the Fluff truthers. Wild is a fairy. Wild gets fairy brain. Legend gets "must protect fairy Wild" brain. So many cuddles. Literally nothing goes wrong. It's perfect. Go read it.

--

Tell Him I... - by @thesadpuffin

I've read about a million Post-BOTW Zelink fics. I thought that there were no perfect first-words that Link could say to Zelda, but... I was wrong. The perfect words do exist.

Quiet atmosphere, easy banter - real emotions.

--

NSFW ZONE ‼️

Well, I lied. This is technically not NSFW, but it is part of a series that very much is.

Rain Falling like Tears - by Anonymous Author

Wild's last memory, as seen from Wolfie's eyes.

During one of the hardest moments of Wild's adventure, he is comforted by the genuine gratitude of an unsuspecting traveler.

[playgroundeyes]

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

𝓛𝔂𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂:

I don't wanna kill time like it doesn't matter

you chose this instrument yourself

Stop tryna make it seem like you give a shit

you don't have to believe in anything

ASKS ARE BACK ON!!

FLASH WARNING

GENERAL STUFF

Hi I go by February or Grey online which isn't my real name, my pronouns are he/him but I vibe with xe/xem sometimes too! I'm an Aussie and a leftist! I REALLY LIKE MCR BUT YOU CAN PROBABLY ALREADY TELL THAT I'm an INFJ I think if I remember right and uh yeah I really like my chemical romance <3 I'm also a minor

I have a few killjoy OCs, my first is called Satellite Static

@cobaltfusekilljoy is my side blog about two OCs, Cobalt Fuse and Scorched Skye, please go check it out, it's a story but told in different formats, I put a lot of time into it <3

I'm an avatar of the webtrans and aroace

I also write on Ao3! you can find my acc here ‼️‼️

please please give me attention on there it's the only thing that keeps me alive /nsrs

INTERESTS

- MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE (I actually cannot stress this enough), pre split Panic! at the Disco, BMTH, the young veins, The mechanisms, FOB, Bears in trees, NOAHFINNCE, Green Day and PTV!

- The danger days universe and everything about it omggg

- the true lives of the Fab killjoys comics

- The Umbrella Academy

- stargazing and collecting animal bones!

- UNHOLYVERSE (doesn't really deserve its own category but I love it sm that it does)

- The Magnus archives (CRYING)

- Homestuck! (Haven't finished it yet, no spoilers please)

- Dan and phil

- Stuff I like but you probably won't find here: Stardew valley, minecraft, , hollow knight, pokemon, bluey, Nimona, studio Ghibli, stagtown, ghost eyes, moomin, Lookouts, point and click adventure games, the amazing digital circus, alien stage

HOBBIES

Writing fanfic (not open for reqs), reading, painting/drawing/digital art, listening to music and podcasts, playing video games, going for walks, karate, game design, I play flute and am somewhat learning guitar (maybe saying actively learning is a bit of a stretch)

EXTRA

I can't really think of anything extra to say right now, but if your interests are similar to mine feel free to interact or say hi!!

Also I use tone tags pretty often and appreciate it when others do to but not forced ofc

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

oh wait lastly no I don't ship real people, I respect that they have wives and kids and aren't there for people to be invasive about their entire lives (even if I may make the occasional post that may be very summer of like)

Wait also list of fics I really really love and you should totally read:

- UNHOLYVERSE BY BEXLESS JUST. PLEASE. (mcr)

- Knowledge is Power (But love won't hurt) by SupposedToBeWriting it's quite long but also really fucking good (tma)

- orange and green by to_decay_is_human, it's soooo sweet fnskdjshdhajdhdhdhdhshshsh (danger days)

TAGS

#grey's thoughts - my random af thoughts and posts that I make

#grey's life stuff - like thoughts but just stuff about my life idk

#grey's art :3 - I wanna post art around here more often actually

#grey's saves - mostly for myself just posts that I wanna be able to find quickly

#grey's music!! - bandom and music related stuff

#grey's asks - answering asks

[iam-lnt]

I'm curious about the Hetalia fandom in China. Can you share some stories (fandom culture, fanfic/fanart, event, etc) in there? 🫶🏻🌹

In recent years, I have had the opportunity to know some Chinese Hetalians, and I find them very friendly (including you, too 🫣).

Most of my favorite couples are not too... popular in China (🤕), so the chances to meet someone share the same passion is much lower (😭), but everyone I met who sailed the same ship 🚣🏻‍♀️ with me is really nice 💕

Thank you for answering all of my random questions 😭‼️

disclaimer first: I have *been* in the hetalia fandom in China, yes, but strictly speaking I'm not actively involved in events/offline meetings/fandom chats etc. so this may be a biased viewpoint. BUT it's still a viewpoint, and since you asked I figure I should tell you as much of what I know as possible.

So...here we go! 🤓☝️

(This whole thing looks like a whole ass analysis bc that's how my brain have been working for the past few days. I rly want to sound like my inner enthusiastic self but somehow it turned out like this. urgh💦）

From my experiences, I'd say Chinese hetalian fandom is most similar to that of Japan/ Korea (typical east Asian bunch bruh). And on a macro scale, Chinese hetalians share basically the same material with every other hetalian around the world.

Here are some things abt the fandom culture as a whole that I can categorize and tell you:

Censorship issues and avoidance

Due to certain sensitive contents and the...weird Internet regulation laws i guess, main streaming sites such as Bilibili does not have episodes like the April fools' one, the Valentine one, the first episode of the horror movie one, and the whole freaking season 7. ofc the consensus here is that we all have various ways of getting the missing episodes' resources, so yes we know Ludwig proposed using a tomato ring and we know everyone served bc Antonio was being stupidly kinky (kinky-ly stupid?)

This also applies to how Chinese hetalians would refer to the characters. Like elsewhere, we either call them by their human name (e.g. Alfred, Alfred F. Jones) or the nation name (e.g. America).

- In the human name scenario, it can be just "阿尔弗雷德" ("Alfred" in Chinese), or it can be various nicknames branching out from the name "Alfred", like “阿尔弗"("Alfie")/"阿尔" ("Al").

- In the nation name scenario, though, dashes are used to separate characters to avoid unwanted problems. "美国" ("America") will thus be typed as "美/国". As you can see that's pretty troublesome, especially if there's more than two characters in a name. So, alternatively, countries names are also nicknamed using various ways like what it sounds similar to, either in English, Chinese, or the original Japanese. Now that's a whole different language thingy topic to expand on...I'll just leave it here

Fandom events and interactions

That's something pretty popular on Lofter i think, tho I've never participated in one. Basically, a bunch of people will gather up for a week/month/specific anniversary of celebration, in which they contribute art or fanfics to a character/a ship/a group using a special tag.

Oh right Tumblr has those too...just remembered. Okay I guess then that's easy to understand ✌️

Some may have group chats with oomfs that like the same ship/character. These chats can be using communication apps like Wechat or QQ. It's like a oomfs pro max chat box where they joke and rants abt everything.

Others would go to offline events, organized by fans or comic cons officials. Cosplayers and artists would do their thing of serving the fandom with amazing works.

There's also this obsession with buying official goods like badges and cards, putting these goods in neat arrangements and decorations, and photographing them. I'm not sure what that's called but I've seen fans do that with their fav character(s). Pretty sure it's also a thing elsewhere.

Fanfics. fan arts and ships

Let's just say the popular ships will always be popular ships. Tho I'm highlighting the fact that russia/china is a pretty popular ship up there with UsUk/FrUk/Gerita etc. best I can comment is "because history" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Fanfics and fan arts are posted on sites such as Lofter. Bilibili is used more for editing/animation. Lots of good stuff can be found bc istg there Chinese hetalians cook HARD. Also fun fact: those posted on ao3 have a high possibility of being or having smut/r18 stuff bc...see censorship lol

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riiiiight i think that's about it for this time! you can see I've locked in for this answer bc there's little emoji used lmao

ngl your questions can get my head working and thinking so i like them very very much! You can relax and "tutoyer" yourself w me 😏

[fizzy-dizz]

obsessing over lumiworth and I adore your art if you have any more or any headcanons please share

THANKS errrrmm i like these ones

Lum:

Makes the most AMAZING desserts and is always happy to share them with friends

Athletic. Mostly to perform nifty tricks for guests. He can also juggle and do all sorts of clownery

In his early 40s to me

Can't sleep still... has to toss and turn and shift sleeping positions like every 5 mins. This is why he needs a big bed

He can be forgetful so he tries to make the effort to write down important dates (birthdays, anniversaries, etc etc)

Hes got a very basic view on romance. Hes good with the roses, chocolates, promises unintended to keep. But not too good with the rest

I dont think he'd be up for marriage tbh hes a little playboy

THE WORST dad jokes but his jokes always land bc hes just says them with such charm

Was interviewed by Cogsworth for the position but was kinda informal abt it. Somehow he charmed his way into the job

Cogs:

Needs reading glasses‼️‼️

Actually quite physically strong (shitty stamina tho)

Enjoys desserts greatly

Very well-read, has general knowledge of most subjects. But he's particularly interested in art history

On that- I wanna think he has homeschooled Adam on several occasions

Loves the warmth of the sun as he's very used to cold weather all his life

Absolutely fine in French. He just doesn't speak it unless necessary (part of it is that English pride against Lu 😭) but when he does it shocks people everytime

Cat-person 💯

Very particular about his appearance. Keeping it FRESH mustache clean, hair brushed and neatly tucked, uniform tidy head to toe

Can't sleep unless he has like 100 blankets and pillows. He loves the warmth and the weight calms him

He NEEDS background noise while he works. Maybe in part of his time (lol) as a clock hes used to constant ticking, maybe in part of if the castle is too quiet then something is wrong

Anyone who has more to add please do :)👀

[mimez-meme]

Uraraka headcanons‼️💖🪐 (togaocha and mini angst)

Toga was her awakening on who she was. (Bisexual) she was always in denial about it. She would say fruity stuff. Like always complimenting woman, saying she’d date Taylor swift if given the chance. (She’s a die hard Taylor swift fan) but she’s always like “but in a straight way!” Or “I’m straight!” but when she found toga her eyes was opened and she was like “holy shit.. I’m fucking gay!!” (Idk)

After togas death every blond person she came across reminded her of toga. It became a problem.

Sees present mic as a father figure. He calls her Kirby and she once gifted him a little Kirby figure and a handmade bracelet since she feels bad that hes always buying her stuff. Also her obsession for Kirby came from him since he started to call her Kirby.

Before meeting toga (again lmao 😭) she hated blood. You could say she kinda had a fear. She would feel sick at the sight. Which is ironic because she’s a hero so she always had to ignore it. But now.. she sees not afraid of blood. She sees it as almost a nice thing as you can do so much with blood such as save someone. She still hates it when she sees someone bleed but yk doesn’t most people? Also before toga she use to donate her blood but now she can’t bare the thought of sharing her(togas) blood. She can’t give toga away. Her blood isall she has left of toga.

As a kid, she still does now sometimes. Use to try and fly up to planes and wave hello to people on the plane, but she never did as her parents would stop her and because she didn’t have enough control over her power.

loves birds, kinda has a special interest in them. She finds every bird pretty and unique and if you were to say to her ‘what birds remind you of your classmates?’ She’ll be able to do that/answer in an instant. Her favourite one is a basic one but she loves robins.

She is SCARY. When on her period. Like no boy or girl dares to mess with her if they are aware that she is on her period, once punched Mineta because he was being annoying and she was on her period so she did NOT mess about.

Mina and uraraka always have midnight chats on Fridays or they watch a movie together. They talk about the most random shit ever, and the subject always changes fast between them.

LOVES toffee or chewy sweets she has an habit of biting her tongue so it helps her

Uses bakugo’s nicknames for people to piss him off

Was a Gacha kid and use to be one of those horse girlies (if yk yk) Use to go horse riding and she still loves horses and goes horse riding when she can.

Onesies Are like the only pj’s she has and there all silly weird/cute ones. She does have shorts and a tank top for when it’s hot

Her passcode to her phone use to be her birthday but after togas death she changed it to togas birthday

Has/use to 2 part time jobs to earn extra money, she gives the money to her parents unless she needs it. But she finds it hard to balance it all out with hero work ect so she can become stressed very quickly and overwhelmed, now only has 1 part time job and sometimes use to walk dogs with todoroki (if you saw my todoroki headcanons you’ll know)

Has an aesthetic phone layout (yk..)

Wants to have a pink lamborghini when older (she now has one after the timeskip)

ADORES Deers. Loves the bambi movie and whenever she sees a deer she feels like she has to name it

Loves to look at art online or irl. She loves art. She’s not amazing at it herself but that doesn’t stop her from loving art. She loves art that tell a story or have a meaning, she always finds them interesting and loves to guess the meaning before searching it up or anything, taking her to An art museum would be a good idea for a first date. (Or just any museum)

She likes hello kitty stuff even though she has never once watched the show

Type of mf to talk to animals or plushies

Listens to present mic radio show nearly every Friday. She falls asleep to it. (It’s literally 1am to 5am), sometimes she goes to sleep then wakes up at 1am to listen to it. Sometimes listens to it with jirou or izuku. Once called in.

coquette aesthetic/style

Always wanted/wants a little brother or sister but she knows it will be hard for her parents if so

Still has some of her childhood books, keeps them in her dorm and sometimes reads them before bed

Use to make her own perfume before present mic bought her perfume. She always smells good.

It matters to her if you say “I love you’ or “love you’ there’s a difference. May think you’re mad if you say “love you.”

Sometimes works out with kirishima , they both motivate eachother and they both surprisingly work well together

K-pop, indie fan, weirdly a country fan aswell

Has an allergy to bee stings, certain foods and has hay fever

Loves knitted stuff, knitted clothing, knitted pillows, anything knitted she can knit herself and makes her own little knitted stuff like she has mini knitted toys of each of her classmates that they give to them

Fear of the unknown, deep waters and spiders

Loves those stupid goofy mobile games

LOVESSSS bonfire night and fireworks, she finds them so pretty. Sometimes thinks about flying up and seeing them reallll close but she knows that’s dangerous and I’m not sure if she can even do that (I’m not 100% sure how her quirk works on herself)

Use to be a theatre kid and knew momo and iida through that since I headcanon that momo and iida were childhood friends and that momo also was a theatre kid so momo introduced uraraka to iida making them all childhood friends. Momos and iidas family would help uraraka’s family but they always felt bad about it so eventually they asked them to stop but they were very grateful and tried/tries to pay back their own way.

Adores spring

Has an habit of hugging her girl- friends from behind

After toga's death she kept having dreams about What life could of been like if she lived or what could of been like if they knew eachother sooner. One of the dreams were so realistic that she woke up crying.

[lotus-pear]

ten followers is wild, i’m so proud of you ❤️

no but actually HOLY SHIT??? 10K??????? i mean unsurprising bc your art is amazing and you as a person are wonderful BUT STILL CONGRATULATIONS 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

how does it feel knowing you were follower number six or smt‼️

ANYWAY TYTY INK YOURE SO COOL IM SO GLAD I MET YOU THROUGH THIS HELLSITE,,,,,,UR WRITING IS SO GOOD AND UR SUCH A GOOD FRIEND TY FOR THE SUPPORT ^_^

[canine-teethed-sheets]

hey everyone, i got some very important news, specifically on what's to happen to this blog soon!

please take your small time to read, as it is kinda important to me ^^

hello, hello!! it's me, tumblr user its-paperd, coming to you live with an important announcement!!

to put it very very simply, my entire blog will be on a VERY long hiatus, much longer than my usual 5 to 7 days kind

reason behind this is kind of personal, but it does kind of relating to school and grades. to put it simply, my grades haven't been going well and i admit, i have been getting addicted to this app a bit. too much hahah ^^"

now here's the thing, while i say it'll be a hiatus here, there would be a possibility of my blogs... getting deleted.

now don't panic!! i'm not exactly sure if it would happen but it might be a possiblity, so while my blog is still here, if there's anything you want to archive from my blog, it's best to take action and reblog some as soon as you can

get some of my spices, as you will kekek /silly

' oh, but paperd, you're taking this so well, don't you care about us? '

i do!! from the bottom of my heart, i do. it's just that it has been a long time coming, and it was inevitable that it would happen so i mentally prepared myself before i can give a proper goodbye ^^

with all of this happening, i can only think of parting words before i go radio silent

now things are gonna get sappy for me, kekeke <x'D

( moots i'm so sorry you have to learn about this this way <x| )

[ —-—-—-—-— ]

to my two bestest friends, @psycho-chair and @unknownarmageddon , the two members of the kross trio!! thank you both so much for being my friends, the moments we had in pony town will never be forgotten, and the memories we shared too. i appreciate you two being my besties, and i'm very sad to see myself go but to whatever that may come through, just remember guys!! keep being swag for me >:] live laugh kross forever ‼️‼️

to @jun1per-t33th !! my silly friend and amazing artist!! i always appreciate all the memes you sent to me, and your art is a banger every time!! ily so much, juni mwah mwah /p

to @justanidiotartist , my homie friend bud!! thank you for being my mutual, and all the art you made i have always been amazed, you keep being your fun, spectacular self, and take care!! :D

( honourable mentions, ily all so much <3 <3 /p : @the-arcade-doctor, @skelle404 , @corrupted-icarus , @karineverse , @captain-kretsnik , @sunnemona , @cherrio-krispz , @glitchysquidd , @socksandbuttons , @yuriyuruandyuraart , toka!! i see you >:] , other mutuals i've interacted!! you all are the best!! )

[ —-—-—-—-— ]

and with all that, my play of the show is done, but never over!! i will try harder for you all and hopefully, i can come back with pride and joy to you all!! thank you for your support, and i shall see you all again, whenever it may be!!

[sweetmariihs2]

Onceler and Lana draft : my oc x canon /AU post.

I've had an idea in my mind for a while now, it won't be turned into a fanfiction or anything like that, perhaps some arts and small comics. It's just a sketch, and this is the first post I'm making about it (I was originally going to add an art I made here, but couldn't finish it and just added this gif instead).

Basically, I'm working on a story based on The Lorax book/movies, specially focused on the Onceler. The story also has another protagonist, which is an OC called Lana Grant (inspired by Lana Del Rey), and the story is about a relationship between her, a model for Thneed Inc, and him, the head of the company and mayor/founder of the town, having to hide from the view of the media and the people in Thneedville.

‼️light nsfw mentions, my OC Lana is Onceler's escort and 'personal girl'.

The main inspirations for the story:

Besides The Lorax book/movie/TV special, there is some influence of the old Hollywood aesthetic and the golden era of Hollywood, with aspects from the 20s to the 70s, a lot of influence coming from Lana Del Rey's (released and unreleased) songs such as nostalgia, memories of glamurous places that will never go back to it's past state, like a fever dream -coded memory. There is a lot of influence from the lifestyle of the American bourgeoisie of the 1900's, inspirations from places like Las Vegas and Hollywood are more enhanced in the city of Thneedville, and there is also some small inspiration from The Great Gatsby movie. There is also some small inspiration from great works in the Onceler fandom, like The Rust Factory, even though I don't rely on it too much as to keep a certain difference from this work and mine.

I saved some inspirations on Pinterest for what the aesthetics of this story would be like, too. There are some edits from @aikoidiota included which I would like to credit! (your editing skills are amazing)

I am really proud of this moodboard tbh. Moving on,

The Characters:

The Onceler:

Even though most of you know who the Onceler is, there are some small things to point out about his character in this story. I don't consider him a persona though, I like to think that he's still the same old Onceler as always, only in a fanfiction.

In this story, Onceler is a mix of 2012 and 1972 (it's how I like to see his 2012 self, as a mix). He looks like the 2012 version, just like everything else in this story, but he smokes expensive cigars, drinks alcohol, and is to some extent aware of the damage caused by Thneed Inc, but he keeps on biggering. Everyone in town pays attention to him, he is the star of commerce and the media, people see him as a celebrity and absolutely everything in Thneedville revolves around and in favor of him. He makes commercials, he makes public speeches, he appears at posters and billboards, he does interviews for TV and the newspaper, he throws fancy business parties, he hosts runway shows for Thneed Inc models, he participates in games and parties with other business partners of the company, he funds city renovations (Onceler is basically the mayor) and more. Sometimes he goes to the casino to have fun and gamble with other rich businessmen (who are less rich and much older than him). Wherever the Onceler goes everyone pays attention to him, he smiles charismatically and is friendly to everyone. If he goes to the casino to drink and gamble, suddenly there are several rich men and beautiful women behind him cheering for him to win, and if he goes to the square he has to wave and smile at everyone (and smile to paparazzis too), to the point where he hardly goes to the square anymore. When he arrives at an establishment, for example a restaurant, a waiter runs to the boss and shouts "Mr. Onceler is here!!!" which makes everyone automatically panic and then receive him better than the others (it's not like the Onceler... Greedler goes to low-income restaurants anyway). Everyone sees him as a celebrity, politician and absolutely everyone loves him and they see him in their media all the time... except for environmentalist protests.

Onceler is his usual charismatic and greedy self. He is a great actor and always acts more friendly and charismatic in the media, in front of the cameras and in front of people, to be known that way and convince/win people over more easily, but when he is alone he complains about having to act like a good guy all the time because of the press and that bothers him. At first that was a bit hard for him, but now he's already used to it. He loves the attention, has fun knowing that he knows how to sell himself and his thneeds to people, but sometimes he gets overwhelmed and gets frustrated about it, also for not saying everything he wants and acting like himself, but specially when people are being too invasive with their questions/saying malicious indirect things knowing that he can't speak up for himself in front of other people/making him uncomfortable etc. Deep down he is his usual self, usually in a bad mood after smiling for hours... except from time to time where he feels proud of himself for 'deceiving' everyone into liking him more. Onceler smokes and drinks because of anxiety, but he doesn't know it and just thinks it's to deal with work stress (which is also true) (he's not a drunk, don't worry, it's just something he does often). He's pretty much the same thing. Proud, stubborn, greedy, and a liar, but deep down he's still not a bad person.

Lana Grant (my oc):

Lana's name was inspired by Lana Del Rey (and her real name, Elizabeth Grant). Her design was inspired by Lana Del Rey, Hilda Furacão, Marilyn Monroe and 20's-60's clothing style. Lana Grant was an environmental activist before joining Thneed Inc (planning to get out as soon as possible) due to financial difficulties and becoming one of the company's biggest and most known models in a short period of time. She is 22 years old, has white skin and her hair is described as "cherry brown", a brunette with red undertones.

Lana has a strong personality and never gives up on fighting for what she believes in, never changing her opinion about what is right. She is stubborn and has strong moral values. She has a huge sense of altruism, helps out at the animal shelter and donates to various causes, even though she is often dependant of the money that she donates, noticing people (or animals) who are in worse situations than her and doing them charity work because of that. She is bold, stubborn and doesn't keep quiet about anything, in fact Lana is not afraid to fight, and when she needs to, she screams the truth in your face without thinking twice about whoever it is or whoever is listening. She always thinks before speaking and her arguments are coherent, and she only fights when necessary (in Onceler's case, sometimes it is very necessary).

Lana's flaw is that she tries to carry the world in her back, and gets overwhelmed by it. She believes she can help if she tries hard enough, but in the end feeling too much for the world makes her feel too much pain too, specially in Thneedville, surrounded by the massive destruction of the truffula trees she grew up around, ruined habitats and dead/migrating/hungry animals everywhere. The capitalist and consumerist pace of the city also overwhelms her, as the Greenville where she grew up was to some extent a rural town that lived off harvesting and small businesses. She hates the Onceler for ruining everything, hurting the animals, destroying the forest, all in exchange for selling his stupid product. She bought one herself, when the Thneed was still a small brand, and wears it as a piece of clothing (her hatred for this company almost made her throw it away, but she considered that it would be the death of a Truffula tree thrown down the drain and decided to keep it), it is a different habit from the rest of the town, who have a different Thneed for each function they need, one of each color. Her hatred for the Onceler extends not only to the things he does, but how he does them, smiling for the cameras and selling himself as a nice guy - which everyone buys without hesitation. She has always known that this act is a lie, because a nice guy would never do the things he does; she knows he is a product, an image, and a liar who draws attention to himself so that the town doesn't pay attention to the trees, and this irritates her. He also lies about the trees and everyone believes him, but Lana used to go on picnics/hikes in the forest and knows very well that this is not true. Other environmentalists also watch the company closely and notice/take pictures of the same things, but even with several lawsuits, Onceler always knows how to defend himself in court (with bribes, but this is just theory; if it were confirmed he would already be in jail).

She hates him, hates his round face, his smug expression, his catchphrases, his vibrant clothes, his flash of money, and she's tired of seeing him on every billboard and poster in town, every TV commercial, every newspaper and interview, and all the dozens of girls who are desperate for a douchebag like him. And when she tells the truth, others still call her and her friends annoying. There was one time she was rooting for him to lose a lawsuit and when he appeared on TV happily saying it was just a misunderstanding, she threw ice cream at his digital, recently colored face. Damn guy.

Lana moved out of her parents' house and into a small, mid-sized apartment in order to gain independence at the same time that Greenville was purchased by Thneed Inc and was being transformed into Thneedville. Realizing what the Onceler was doing to the Truffula forest, she and a group of people protested against the company's advances, however they were always ignored by it. She hated the Onceler, but small businesses closing, Thneed Inc owning every store in town and the lack of money were the main reasons why Lana had to temporarily apply for a job at Thneed Inc, however her beauty and portfolio as an amateur model ended up attracting attention and she became a model for the company for a reasonable pay.

She then tried to reach the Onceler with the intention of making the company take action, but after the discussion with Onceler about environmental issues, Onceler became interested in the model's beauty and boldness in saying what she wanted to his face (most people didn't do that - they either blindly obeyed him, or were rude and "sensationalist"), and after a few weeks of thinking, he offered a special job: to be his escort and perform special services, in secret. Although hesitant for a while, Lana eventually accepted because of the payment. This position allowed her to spend some more time with him and get to know him more personally, and despite talking to the Onceler about the things that he does, he doesn't seem to change his mind so easily. She was forced not to be an environmental activist anymore because of her contract with Thneed Inc and image, people would recognize her and call her out; her face is everywhere, just not as much as Onceler's.

Onceler also began taking her to parties and public speeches as his escort, and a buzz began to emerge in the media that she was his partner, making her gain even more attention. The hatred she felt for Onceler began to dissipate, and she began to see him as a friend with flaws (or something else) after the several conversations they had about personal matters and after getting to know him better. Lana's opinions did not change, but as the story progressed, the fame and luxury of life next to the Onceler made her forget a little about what was happening outside the walls of Thneedville, being reminded of reality and soon being distracted from it by the Onceler and his luxury life again.

Titles:

I actually couldn't choose a title. I really want to, but I don't like any of them enough and I can't decide. Here's what I came up with:

Thneedville Nights

Under The Thneedville Lights

Glamour and Greed (I like this one but it's very cliché)

A Velvet Affair (???)

Velvet Nights (I just think velvet is a very pretty word)

They all sound stupid to me, if you have any suggestion.... help

The Story:

Onceler's canon event here is the same, but a bit expanded. The whole story takes place in the 2012 movie but with features of the 1972 special included in it. I would say it happened in a seussian/fictional kind of 60s. It all happened during the "The Lorax" events: Onceler arrives at the Truffula Forest, starts selling his Thneeds, opens Thneed Inc and creates Thneedville, the trees run out, he goes bankrupt and spends his entire life in his cabin regretting his decisions. Lorax is also a character, but he is not frequent and usually talks only to the Onceler. (Funny how the title character is now a background one)

There is a kind of timeline of the events from this story, the same time Onceler has his life, Lana has hers, and they meet at a certain point. I'm going to make a topic in the post just about the timeline, but at the moment I need to focus on the story.

When the Onceler moved to the Truffula forest, Lana still lived at her parents' house in Greenville. Since you probably already know about Onceler's canon events, I'll only focus on Lana's story. Thneed Inc was growing their name and their industry, reaching more space, appearing on TV, newspapers, billboards and on the radio, the Onceler's name (and image, and voice, and charisma, everything) was being known everywhere, and he was getting a great reception from the people, known for his Thneeds and their incredible uses, but as a person, he was known as a friendly, young, prodigy businessman who was becoming as powerful as older names in the industry. Everyone liked him (except for Lana, who always felt off about his image), and he bought the city of Greenville, starting to transform it into Thneedville. This change for Lana was already strange, but then Thneed Inc started buying and closing the small businesses too, replacing them with new stores and affiliates of the company, demolishing the old town and creating a new one. Lana had been organizing to leave home for a while, since before Thneed Inc arrived in town, and her plans didn't change because of that. She bought a small new built apartment with the goal of just finding a temporary place, but her money didn't go much further than that, and living off her parents' donations wasn't something she wanted to do. When the walls around the city had not yet been built, it was possible to see the Truffula valley being gradually destroyed, especially the part of the valley behind the Thneeds' factory, further away and easier to hide from the city. That not only bothered Lana, but also a group of people (small, compared to huge the rest of the city that didn't cared about it), and small protests began to appear - Lana became part of them.

Lana could see and notice the changes in the environment around her, see the dozens and dozens of trees being cut, hurt barbaloots and swomee-swans being rescued in awful conditions (always related to Onceler's industry) appearing at the animal shelter she helped on, and she always felt off about the Onceler, so all these attitudes of his company, the friendliness he pretended to have in front of the cameras and the lies he told about everything being under control and being responsible with the Truffula valley only infuriated her and the other environmentalists. The Onceler's face was everywhere, and everyone loved him despite the things he did and lied about not doing, the truth was right outside everyone's doors and yet they chose to ignore it, it made her angry.

Lana carried a great hatred for Onceler because he was lying to the media and ignorant about the damages caused by his industry - most of the people were fooled by his fake charisma and his commercials, but she and a small group of people weren't. Lana participated in protests and other small actions against the company, but Onceler always managed to cover it up from the media and make them look like just noisy lunatics, coupled with his charisma and the attractiveness of the Thneeds, the general public always sided with him (as big industries always do). As the small town of Greenville was reformed to become Thneedville, little by little all the businesses were taken over by Thneed Inc, and it got to the point where there was no choice of employment to apply for other than Thneed Inc and its affiliates. Lana had recently moved into a small temporary apartment to seek her own independence, with the goal of raising money to buy a new, better place to live, and while her money was running out, she needed to find a job immediately - but refused to apply for and support Thneed Inc.

She didn't even have enough money to move out of the city, so she tried to be a small-time model and sell her own photos (even some more inappropriate ones), but that wasn't enough. Other independent small stores were closing and Thneed Inc was buying everything. In the end, she decided to go against her principles and applied for a job at Thneed Inc, waiting for any opportunity to come along, just to earn enough money to live in a better place and get out of there as soon as she got enough. Her data and portfolio reached Onceler's hands, but he didn't pay much attention and just noticed the fact that she was very pretty, putting her in a model position without thinking too much about it (he has too many things to pay attention at once and pretty girls weren't a big thing to him when he got successful).

Of course, at first Lana wasn't one of the biggest models, but eventually her beauty caught people's attention and made her rise in the position, putting her in fashion shows, magazines and billboards along with some other girls. Usually promotions are not done by the Onceler but by his secretaries and others involved in the company, so he also did not pay much attention to his models and remained busy with the issue of organizing the company's marketing, finances and affiliates, in addition to always being contacted by several people responsible for several different sectors and having to organize and balance everything with public appearances and a good image for the company (which means, he didn't paid much attention to Lana or the other marketing girls). She had hoped to do this just long enough to raise a good amount of money, to maybe get out of town, but her career at Thneed Inc had risen so high and so quickly that it had become difficult to return to her life as an environmental protester since she would be recognized, and showing support for the cause would get her in trouble. Even knowing that keeping quiet went against her ideals, Lana expected that this would only last for a short time.

That's when the two characters finally cross their paths. Because of the greater importance she had within the company, she made an appointment with the Onceler to report the case of a photographer who was being negligent with the models, and... the environmental problems caused by Thneed Inc, with the hope that her soft tone, polite manners and good solutions would make the Onceler change his mind. He didn't liked it. At first they were polite, and he delined and said passive-aggressive phrases like "I appreciate the suggestion, but I know very well how to handle my company and you know very well what your role is in it, thank you", but Lana didn't gave up and they started to argue. She argued politely though, and had good arguments, and Onceler as always just said "what, do you want me to shut down Thneed Inc? You want me to affect the entire economy? That's not going to happen" when Lana never said that at all. The confident and polite way she expressed her ideas, her courageous attitude of going to the Onceler to question him about his own company without fear of being fired or wanting to take advantage of his money (something that some beautiful women like her try to do), her strong opinions and her breathtaking beauty caught his attention. He noticed in Lana, even in her respectful tone, that she didn't like him, and that made him interested in her. When Lana finally left his office, the Onceler went to the company's employee files and looked for Lana's profile, reading her information and also finding her portfolio (that is, the photos she had taken some time ago).

Onceler then had an idea. The reasons for this idea are not mentioned, perhaps it was for ego reasons (because he knew she hated him) or for personal reasons, but he decided to tell his secretaries to call Lana to talk to him in his office some time later, a few days, maybe a week. Lana swore that she was in trouble, but when she got there, Onceler had a proposal to make: Lana would be his escort and would do some "personal favors" to him, on the condition that: 1 - Onceler cannot do anything without her consent; 2 - Neither of them can engage in any romantic relationship during this period; 3 - Lana would be available at all times, except when there is some justification for not attending (not feeling well is also an justification). The payment was defined 2000 dollars for each night she spends with him. The model was in doubt, because she couldn't stand Onceler but she also needed that money... he didn't even know about her financial issues, and she didn't know that he realized she didn't like him, Lana just thought he was making this offer because she was pretty, and at a certain point, he was. Lana decided to put her pride aside and accept the proposal, just for now, enough to get a good amount of money to support herself, but of course she didn't tell him that. She only asked for the condition that Onceler spend some time with her first, because she had never done that with anyone, and he agreed to take her to dinner first on the same night she was going to sleep with him, two days later. She accepted.

Two days later, there she was, after a photo shoot for a magazine, dressed in a red dress and a Thneed on her shoulder (everyone in town had one, even her, but they bought several of them. She only used that one for what she needed, since she already had it and it would be a waste to throw it away). Lana didn't even thought it would be embarrassing to wear a Thneed on a date with Onceler, she just put it on because it matched her outfit. Onceler picked her up at the Thneed Inc headquarters around 8:00 pm in his white limousine (or rather, the driver did). He was smoking a cigar and drinking whiskey, and the car ride to the restaurant was awkward because of Lana's nervousness and the fact didn't know each other but knew they were going to sleep together that night. Onceler made a joke about the Thneed she was wearing, which made Lana embarassed, and he told her that he realized she didn't like him, and that he saw her pictures, which made her feel embarrassed once again. The atmosphere between them was awkward, and when they arrived at the expensive restaurant it was even more so. There were only rich people in the restaurant, they all knew the Onceler, and they noticed Onceler's arrival with one of his models (and surprisingly the news didn't spread much) - Lana felt out of place.

The menu was very expensive, the decoration was all expensive, everything there was very expensive, but Onceler assured her that he would pay for everything and that he didn't mind. They talked throughout dinner, eventually returning to the discussion about the environment and Lana made him uncomfortable again, but she made Onceler think... maybe he had already talked a little with the Lorax before, but he really considered what she said, and said that he would think of better solutions later, which brought him a little closer to Lana. They talked about interests, careers, ate their dinner, and Lana shared her nervousness with him, who reassured her that everything would be fine, and that he would be helping her with everything. Said and done, they returned to the limousine that took them to the Thneed Inc. headquarters building in the city center, where Onceler's apartment was on the top floor.

Lana spent the night at his penthouse. The next day, she woke up to find Onceler ready for work, and he took her back home in the limousine. He was a bit distant compared to how close he was to her last night, as if he were a stranger to her again. The next few times he called her, the same thing happened; he was affectionate at night, but in the morning he was back to wearing that ridiculous green suit and acting as if he hadn't been so close to her the night before. Lana could swear that the moment he put on that green suit, the top hat and those glasses he stopped being himself. This is a small allusion to his "Onceler and Greed-Ler" personality, showing that he acts like a character he created every time he appears in the media, and this character, despite being falsely friendly, deep down only cares about money and business. It's the Onceler that she deeply hates.

At first, she sees Onceler as a liability and a slightly intriguing guy to be around; there is a slight awkwardness between the two, and she finds his actions extremely questionable. However, when they leave the crowd, Onceler shows Lana that he has a heart; as he once said, when he walked away from a party to seek some alone time away from the crowd, that he didn't like being a character all the time. That this outfit was fake, his comments were fake, and that he would like to be rude to people who are rude to him without any repercussions; he was tired of everyone watching him, despite enjoying being admired and knowing how to sell himself to the public. He was a somewhat intriguing guy when he didn't have an audience to watch him. Besides his ignorance on environmental issues, this was another thing that Lana hated about him, for letting his greed make him forget about himself, and the good person he can be when he doesn't care about money or the public.

She tried to talk to him about it several times and show that she was truly bothered, but it didn't matter much. The truth is that as time went by, Lana became closer to him and the unlikely happened: she was enjoying it. But she would never accept having anything romantic with the Onceler because it sounded ridiculous, she hated him and just wanted enough money to leave. Even so, every time they saw each other, the time they slept together lasted only 30% of the time they were together on those nights, and talking/having fun with him was becoming a common event during the weeks. He shared his past with her, and Lana, on the other hand, shared that she worries too much about carrying the world on her shoulders and forgets that she can't solve everything. There is a mutual closeness, and the two began to consider each other in an unspoken way as something between friends and a business relationship. By the way, I wrote some interesting dialogues for this scene that I could even make a small comic about it. Here is a little snippet! Be aware that they just did the dirty so they're tiredly lying in bed. These paragraphs were in portuguese so if it sounds weird it's because I translated it:

Onceler's voice broke the silence of the room. "Are you comfortable? Are you tired?" Lana answered with only a murmur of approval. He continued smoking his cigar, lying sloppily on the bed, finally breaking the silence as he studied her face. "See... it wasn't so bad, was it? I thought you'd complain more."

"It wasn't bad, just... pretty tiring." Lana settled herself in bed, turning slightly to the Onceler. She felt a strange atmosphere between the two, but he didn't seem to notice... He was too busy smoking his cigar. The girl stared at him in silence, looking at him and his room... Onceler let out a small muffled laugh as he watched her gaze.

"Oh, yeah. You almost left me without energy too." He stubbed out his cigar in the ashtray next to him and lay down better on the bed, resting his face on his arm and looked back at her. Onceler's room was large and comfortable, with a king-size bed, a huge wardrobe, a marble-topped nightstand, and a panoramic view of the city. Not luxurious at all (it absolutely was).

The boy watched her face for a few seconds, staring back at her with a neutral, almost thoughtful and curious look. After a few moments, he opened his mouth again to speak, "You don't look very comfortable, dear. Are you trying to tell me something I don't know yet?" The businessman said, observing her dejected expression with a half-closed gaze. His tone of voice was calm, almost casual. Lana murmured a sound of approval without making much effort, and Onceler made a muffled sound, a sign that he wasn't completely convinced, ironically saying: "Don't say it. I see that you look completely at ease."

"What do you want me to say?" The girl asked, completely wrapped in the blankets.

Onceler watched her as she murmured, a curious look on his face. After a while, he sighed softly and answered with a neutral tone in his voice. "What are you really thinking about."

Lana stared at him for a few moments, considering whether he really wanted to know or not, and whether it was worth the effort to tell. She let out a sigh, giving in to his request. "I'm tired. My hips and back are sore. It feels like I've been lifting weights for hours," complained. She settled herself in the covers to get more comfortable, in the darkness of his room. "You really don't know how to deal with girls."

A small laugh escaped his lips at her comment, after the pause he responded with a friendlier tone. "Hm, well, I don't usually deal with girls really," he admits calmly. Onceler kept staring at her in the darkness. "It's not normal for me to have you here, you know. It's weird seeing you in my bed. A girl who was my adversary, who protested by calling me selfish and greedy... but at the same time it's kind of fun."

"I know it's fun for you." Lana murmured back in a tired voice, looking down at her hands under the covers. All that mattered was the fact that she wasn't looking back at him or at the room. Once again, he thought about her sentence.

There was a short silent pause as he stared at the woman on the bed, noticing her distracted gaze. His mind began to work, trying to understand. "And for you, is it fun too?"

His question seemed to have caught her attention. A soft sigh escaped Lana's lips. "How I feel shouldn't matter to you."

"If it didn't, I wouldn't have asked."

Lana's gaze traveled to his face once more. She settled herself better under the covers and looked at the Onceler, considering that maybe, just maybe, she could talk to him a little bit, since he was so insistent. But she didn't want to risk her job, so she only said enough. "I don't know." She answered the question he asked earlier, about having fun. Her voice had a softer and more delicate tone, but it still held truth.

"But you're not feeling unhappy, are you?"

Lana pondered his words. "No. I'm not unhappy either."

Onceler couldn’t help but have a curious expression as he stared at her silently, observing her as she observed him back. He let out a soft sigh. “And how do you feel, then? After all, you are my escort now.”

"Yeah, I know." Lana replied, thinking about his words. She wondered what could have made him think of her now, so suddenly - unusual. Once again, he was a hard guy to understand, and Lana was still trying to figure it out and get used to the way he acted. She didn't want to talk too much and lose her job. "It's like I'm playing house. I'm a terrible actress."

There was a hint of humor in Onceler's expression, while she could feel a hint of surprise in his soft voice as he answered her. “I wouldn’t say you’re a bad actress, you know. You’re doing a good job of pretending you don’t hate me.”

Lana continued to stare at him, not finding the humor in that sentence. She was acting truer than he had imagined. "I don't even know what I think about you anymore."

"You hate my company, at least. You know what you think of me, don't you? I'm making you work a job you find questionable because of my money." The conversation between the two seemed deeper than usual. The room was silent, only the sound of their breathing could be heard. The silence of the night, the warmth of the bed. Onceler was not very good at interpreting her feelings, but he could tell that this bothered her. "But you are here, with me. Because of the money. That's why you can't despise me so much."

"No, I don't know if it's just that. You confuse me a lot. You don't make any sense, I don't understand, I don't understand you."

Her words were confusing, as if she didn’t know what to expect from him. It intrigued him, awakened in him some desire to understand her better. “Maybe you won’t. You don’t know me well enough.”

Lana seemed to be trying to decide how to put into words what she was feeling, but she didn't want to show it too much. There was a need for communication and distance at the same time between the two, and communication should only go so far. "You're so confusing. Remember earlier today, when you asked which side of you was my favorite and I told you it was the one in the bedroom? I'm talking about the 'you' now. I prefer you like this, thoughtful, sincere. But when it gets to the morning you act like you don't care about anything or anyone, and you go on TV and out on the streets with that fake smile on your face. You're still irresponsible and ignorant even after spending hours talking to me the way we are now. This doesn't make any sense to me."

The Onceler remained silent, just listening to her words. He noticed that she was trying to express herself, but becoming more frustrated as she tried to. Her frustration affected him a little. He let out a low sigh. "I'm a businessman, Lana. I have no choice... I need to be seen as someone who is trustworthy and have everything under control. That's how the game works. I need to stay that way, that's the only way to keep my company running. If I let you see too much of my my personal side, things could go wrong. I need to act the way you said, in front of everyone... It's the only way to keep the company safe and keep the money coming in."

"Even with me?" Lana asked in a soft and slightly apprehensive whisper. They both knew she didn't agree with his words about business and money, it wasn't new.

After a slightly frustrated sigh, he answered calmly, but with something in his voice that seemed regretful. "Yes. Even with you." The man frowned slightly as he answered, trying to keep his tone conscious and calm. His words were precise and direct, showing how serious he was about the matter. "Especially with you. I can't let you invade my world, my routine. That's dangerous, and I need to stay focused on my work."

Lana continued to look at him, seeming to digest his words with an expression he couldn't exactly put into words. Maybe disappointment, maybe confusion. "It seems like you're only polite to me when we're in this room. Who I talk to in here is very different from who I see outside. And I can't even blame you, especially because you pay me, and you pay me very well. I'm just your escort and you don't owe me any explanations."

"I can't afford to..." Onceler paused for a moment, thinking about the words, the reality of the situation. "...to be vulnerable. With you, with anyone else. I need to maintain this image in order to keep the company running as it should. That's how it works. I'm a man with a very difficult job, with a lot of pressure, a lot of money involved, a lot of responsibilities... Thneed Inc comes first, always." There was a hint of frustration and disappointment in his voice. Onceler's gaze was fixed on her as he spoke the words, watching her reaction, hoping she would understand. "I can't let you invade my routine, but I still have you here, with me. It's the most intimacy I can offer you... but that will have to be enough to you." He continued to stare into her eyes, while searching for words that could explain the situation they were in. "It would hurt less, if you didn't really saw me, if you just did your job and didn't question anything."

Lana understood his perspective, but she didn't understand why he acted indifferent towards her even when they were alone anywhere other than in the bedroom. The girl wanted to question him about it, she really did, but upon hearing his last words she found a piece of information that caught her attention even more. Onceler had indirectly asked her to leave that aside. And he was right... yes, it was the initial plan anyway. But it was very strange to have to stop caring about how he treated her outside the bedroom when they had such personal conversations inside. His behavior was not consistent with what he was asking. "I... understand." Lana actually didn't understand very well. "You're right, you... hired me for a reason. And it wasn't to make friends. But then you need to stop confusing me. I'm not sure what you want. I understand that I'm your escort, of course, but then you start venting to me and I start seeing myself as your friend. Then in the next day you decide to act indifferent and treat me arrogantly. That's what confuses me, am I your lady-in-waiting or what?" She asked in frustration, but her voice didn't raise.

Onceler was uncomfortable, he didn't know how to answer her questions anymore, not in a simple way, not in a way that didn't leave him completely exposed and vulnerable. "You're my lady-in-waiting, Lana. I don't want to have a bad relationship with you, okay? It's good to talk, to create a bond, especially in the context of the things we do. But when we're done, you have to understand that I can't keep giving you attention, Thneed Inc needs me all the time. That's why I wanted an escort, because I have needs but I can't have a girlfriend, I can't give any attention. It's a difficult situation, of course, but what can I do? We have an exchange agreement. We talk every now and then because whether we like it or not, we're coworkers, and I want to have a good relationship with you. Got it?"

Lana's eyes were fixed on him and then they looked back at the silent room, her eyebrows slightly furrowed and her gaze thoughtful. Onceler couldn't put into words exactly what her expression was. "I... get it. I guess I got things mixed up."

The businessman let out a soft sigh, feeling calmer after hearing her words. "You see... I don't want to confuse you, I hope you're not feeling bad about all this." He added, trying to comfort her. "I just needed to make it clear, since you brought it up. I'm quite happy with the arrangement we have, and of course, I enjoy your company. Can we just relax, hm?"

Lana noticed his proximity and allowed it without many reservations, but her mind was still trying to understand. Once again, he was being so affectionate and yet he had just said that these caresses, this closeness, all of this was just for comfort. Just for comfort. Especially because Lana was his lady-in-waiting, and it wouldn't make sense to keep showing her affection, unless he liked the feeling of giving affection, which was most likely. Lana sighed, resigned. Maybe she was just a toy in his hands. And he was right, she gave her consent to this and was earning an absurd amount of money to do what he asked. She just didn't expect it to be so difficult, or so confusing. As he caressed her body, the man closed his eyes, trying to ignore the conflicting needs he felt inside himself. He could feel his interest in her intensifying, but he also felt a touch of confusion, of hesitation. She was his escort, she was only with him for the money, it shouldn’t mean anything more than that. But for some reason, whenever he touched her body, felt the scent of her perfume, or heard the sound of her voice, he couldn’t help but give in to the interest he felt. Onceler let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes again. He couldn't help but feel a little vulnerable and confused... frustrated. His need for her was real, but he knew it didn't mean anything lasting. It was just business, and nothing else.

Did you liked it?? 💋 It's not a fanfiction though. I don't want to write a full fic, it takes a lot of time. But I'm proud.

Going back to the summary, this is a recurring problem between them, but they put it aside and pretend that nothing happened. Onceler throws parties so that the company can continue to appear in the media, gather rich people and continue doing business, and to get some buzz, he invited Lana to accompany him publicly as a poster girl. Furthermore, after she started sleeping with him some time before, her position mysteriously rose in the company and Lana became the main model + began to appear more prominently in fashion shows. At parties, Onceler always made red carpet entrances, and appeared grabbing Lana's waist and carrying her everywhere as if she were his girlfriend, this caused rumors and sensationalism on TV and in the newspapers, which was great for him and bad for her, who just wanted to make the money and leave, and which also made people look into her past and discover that she protested against Thneed Inc. After that, chaos was installed. People started talking about Onceler's supposed girlfriend, and he kept denying it and saying that Lana was just a poster girl. Lana’s fellow environmentalist friends thought she had switched sides, and threw tomatoes at her on one of the red carpet nights. Reporters began invading her privacy and asking invasive questions about her ideals, whether she believed the company had changed, whether she regretted protesting. Onceler didn’t want them to do to her what they usually did to him, because he was used to it and knew how to deal with people, but Lana, on the other hand, was static.

It was weird. Girls who were Onceler's fans and believed they could have a chance with him started to hate her, and Lana was sometimes spotted by reporters, who would show up and start making her uncomfortable again. Lana even went to Onceler with a newspaper in her hand to show him the sensationalist article they were writing about the two of them, and Onceler said he couldn't stop the newspaper from publishing articles, but he would do his best to limit what they were doing to her image. Money and bribes were involved - which shows that for Onceler, Lana became more important than an escort, because he was willing to spend money to protect her image and paid for several things for her too. It seemed more like a friends with benefits, but with money involved.

It was at one of these parties that Onceler's Ma met Lana. She doesn't like Lana because she doesn't want her son to be too busy with women and forget to work/pay more attention to girls than to the money he'll give to his mother and family. Besides, it's easier to manipulate him when he's alone than when he has someone to be by his side whispering things in his ear. So the first thing she did was criticize Lana's dress and say that it was too low-cut for a party of that size, but she had forgotten that Onceler had asked her, Mrs. Funtzler and Mrs. O'Schmuntzler to choose a green dress for his model to wear, and she decided to let the other two take care of it so she could do something else considered more important. When Lana said that Onceler had left it up to her and the other secretaries to choose, Onceler's Ma was embarrassed. She doesn't like Lana. (Brett and Chet on the other hand think she's hot and act like idiots around her, making lame pick-up lines.)

These comments from people and from TV went on for several months until one day reporters spotted them in a very compromising situation, nothing more than a photo of them kissing and very intimate touching. From that moment on, they were screwed. Onceler and Lana decided that they would start fake dating, and he went public, grabbing her by the waist and saying "Oh my, you guys really found out! I was waiting for the right moment to reveal this, but it looks like you were smarter. You caught us. Lana and I are together, and you can consider her your Miss Onceler from now on."

Newspapers and TV stations have been talking about it. "Onceler's New Girlfriend!" was written all over the front pages. Reports saying, "It seems the president of Thneed Inc. is no longer a single man. Lana Grant, a model for Thneed Inc, is a former protester against the company from the time she wasn't it's model yet. The former environmentalist is now in a relationship with the Onceler and is getting a lot of backlash from her former group, but Lana claims to be on good terms with the businessman now. 'I know he's doing what's best for our city,' Lana says. The couple seems happy, but many citizens claim the model is only with him for the money. Is this the new big couple of our city, or is it just a temporary relationship?"

All this attention bothered Lana, and she always had to look smiling and in love with him whenever they were together in public. Eventually, as the development progressed, Lana showed up one day at his office, saying that she couldn't take it anymore. "You need to choose between me or your business. I'm not going to stay here feeding this lie to these people with you. I don't want to be your fake girlfriend. If you sleep with me, call me your girlfriend and use me for your public image, but don't have time to act like a boyfriend, I demand that you make a decision. This lie is killing me, because I like you, but having to face all this knowing that I'm just an ornament for you to carry around with you makes me want to stop doing it. I'm tired of pretending to myself that I don't like you, and then pretending that I do in front of others." She found herself in a state where, when she was with him in public or in the bedroom and he treated her with affection, she liked it. But then Onceler would step out of the way of the cameras and say, "phew, I'm glad it's over, you can do whatever you want now, Lana." And then in the bedroom, when they were sleeping together and spending time talking and having fun, they acted and felt like a couple. It was a fake couple, but it wasn't a fake couple, and yet sometimes it felt like a fake couple. And she was suffering real consequences of this in her personal life. That was stressing her out. Onceler then said that he liked her too, but couldn't give her the attention he wanted because of work. They said they would make it work, and then beyond the public eye, they started dating each other for real. Even though Onceler worked a lot, he would see her and ask her to sleep with him a few times a week (sleep with him + spend time together at his penthouse), and that was good for Lana. Onceler also stopped considering her his escort and instead of paying her to sleep with him, he gave her money because he wanted to.

Now we come to a very important point in the story. I'm not sure if this happens when Lana is just his date during the parties he takes her to as a company poster girl, or if it happens when they are already dating (but I think it's the first option). Onceler was going to call her to go to his office to "see him", and Lana wasn't home to answer. He called Miss Funtzler and asked her to find out where Lana was, immediately. What happened is that Lana was at the animal shelter where she usually helps out, and when Onceler called, he identified himself to a woman who seemed to be some kind of receptionist there, and said he was looking for Lana (at this point everyone already knew she was a model for the company, so Onceler looking for her wasn't strange). The lady replied that Lana wasn't feeling very well and couldn't answer the phone. Onceler asked why, and heard crying in the distance, but the receptionist didn't answer. She eventually gave in and handed the phone to Lana, who sounded very sad, and told Onceler that she couldn't do anything with him today because she wasn't feeling well enough. He wanted to know why because he was worried, but she wouldn't tell him, so Onceler said that if she didn't tell him, he would go find out. She didn't tell him, so he went. When he got there and found Lana crying in a chair, he asked what happened. What happened is that she went to try to take care of a barbaloot in emergency condition, choking on slime from his factory, and the bear died.

Onceler hadn't really paid attention to the consequences his actions had caused, and when he heard this news and saw the poor barbaloot, he felt a wave of remorse take over him. Much like when The Lorax makes him think in the 1972 special, Onceler thinks about what he's doing and promises Lana that he'll try to reduce Thneed Inc's impacts. A while later, when he returns to his day-to-day life, he sees how much this is going to cost him money, and he says he'll look for a solution later. At the same time, walls were being built around the city and people could no longer see the Truffula forest. One day, Onceler was making an announcement in a speech during one of these company parties, with Lana by his side, and he announced to everyone that from that day on they would begin taking actions to reduce Thneed Inc's impacts on nature. Lana looked at him in surprise, and this was an important point in their relationship because she truly believed that talking to him and making him understand had a result. Onceler did this to gain Lana's trust and also to gain the trust of the people, believing that it would reduce the protests and hesitation that some people might have when buying the company's products - in a way it helped, even though many protesters were not fooled by his lies, there was that repercussion and counter-argument of clearing the conscience of consumers to environmentalists who say "He already said he is doing his best to help, stop complaining!". If Lana had any reservations about the environmental impacts before, they were gone now. Onceler finally had her without hesitation in his arms.

The months they spent together without any major discussions about the environment were the best. Onceler lied to her and to Thneedville, and Lana became invested in that lie. The more time she spent around him, the more Lana learned to be the golden girlfriend of the president of Thneed Inc., the owner of the city. The more she enjoyed the parties, the interviews, the visibility, the money, the expensive jewelry and clothes, the limousines, the penthouse and magazine covers, the games at the casino. She began to enjoy the life of luxury and to enjoy being by his side. She liked being known as Onceler's girlfriend, even though sometimes she felt a little overshadowed by the idea people had of them, and was disappointed that people cared more about the two of them as characters than as real people. She liked being Onceler's golden girlfriend, but sometimes she didn't like being reduced to just that. Lana ignored this feeling, and told herself that life was too good now to find reasons to complain.

That's when everything went down the drain. Onceler had that private conversation with the Lorax and saw the last tree falling. That's when he knew that everything he had built during the last years was just a matter of time until it all fell down before his eyes. He managed to sell Thneeds for about 2 more months and kept lying to Lana and the media, but then the Thneeds in the stores were running out. Suppliers asked for more and there were none left. Thneed Inc had no choice but to go public and declare bankruptcy. There was great commotion in the city, reporters asked questions everywhere, paparazzi kept taking pictures of Onceler in his humiliating moments trying to balance things out and act natural without admitting that he had screwed up everything, but it was true, he had. Onceler didn't even know what to say to people. He didn't wanted to lose her, but he also didn't wanted to lose money or lose his industry, so he tried to come up with a solution while he kept lying to everyone, became too invested in how everything was going so well that he forgot to actually take action about the problem, and in the end everything went down the drain.

He laid off several employees and many people left the city. The factory was empty. Later on the day he declared bankruptcy, when he was in his office at the factory, Lana arrived, crying, extremely, deeply hurt and angry. "How could you?! How could you lie to me all this time?! I trusted you, I gave you everything I had! You used me all these months, touched me, used my image to cause a fuzz, I knew it! How could I fall for this?!" Onceler was so guilty, so bad about himself and his own troubles that he didn't even know what to say. It all happened so fast, and if I had said that it had lasted more than 5 minutes it would have been too long. Lana couldn't take it anymore, she exploded with rage and went after him; she felt like killing him there out of anger, and even though she didn't have the physical capacity to do so, she hit him in the chest anyway, hysterically. Onceler tried to call her, "Lana, Lana! Stop! Listen to me!" but she kept screaming "You fucking liar, you bastard! I hate you, you son of a bitch! I hope you die alone, and choke on that damn money of yours! Liar, liar!". He tried to grab her and make her stop struggling, but it was difficult. Onceler couldn't even speak. In a desperate moment he didn't know what to do and yelled, "Security!".

The security guards immediately came in and saw what was happening. They grabbed Lana by the arms and pulled her away from him, who continued to struggle. She continued to scream, even as she was dragged and taken away from him, "I hope you drown in your money, with no one to save you, you don't deserve it! I never want to see you again, never! Never again." Onceler just watched her leave until the doors to his office closed, and everything went silent. That was the last time he saw Lana, and he didn't go after her again. He was too ashamed to apologize, to look for her, and he believed that he didn't deserve to have her again. Lana didn't deserve to go through the pain of continuing to be by his side.

When Lana left the factory, there were reporters everywhere asking questions and generally wanting to get as much content out of the couple's sadness as possible to put in the news reports and on TV. Lana turned to one of them and said, "He's an idiot, a liar! I didn't know he was doing this, I didn't know. He said he had everything under control. He lied to everyone! I never want to see him again!", without caring about the repercussions, the stage, none of that mattered, she was just very angry and very hurt. The people of Thneedville commented on whether Lana was putting on a show to get rid of the Onceler image and take the blame off her shoulders, or if she was being sincere. In any case, the company was forgotten and when it went bankrupt soon (a year or two later) everything was replaced by O'Hare Industries. She thought about going after the Onceler, because after her anger subsided she thought about having a calmer conversation with him, but she never did. She promised she wouldn't go, and instead waited for him to show up and apologize - if he didn't, it was okay, she was still hurt and didn't want him back (even though deep down she still did). He never came. Lana heard from people that Onceler had left town to a place he didn't say and wouldn't be coming back. She didn't hear from him again.

Lana was taken off the billboards and stopped appearing in magazines, and people stopped caring about her. It was as if she had a bad reputation, people whispering on the street every now and then, "Look! She's Onceler's girlfriend," as if it were a dark secret and she had done something really bad. Years went by and Onceler stayed in Truffula Valley. You know what happened, he isolated himself from the world and never left. What happened during that period is a little unclear, I didn't focus much on that part of the story. Maybe Lana left town, but I bet she didn't, even if she had plenty of reasons and enough money to leave. She had a few boyfriends, but nothing long-lasting. The truth is that after Onceler, her life didn't take off as much as it had back then. Lana didn't liked being remembered by older people as the Lana she was 40 years ago, because they look at her now and act like she looks horrible after all the years had passed. Imagine old people coming up to you and saying, "Wow, are you Lana Grant from the Thneed Inc days? The Onceler's girlfriend? You were beautiful when you were younger, that romance between the two of you was so beautiful, but the Onceler chose to do really bad things, right? What a shame, you could have had a beautiful future." And Lana is like, "Yeah... (why the hell are you talking about the most painful moments of my personal life as if I'm not here? You act like I'm a character from a TV show)".

Lana managed to move on, and remained as well-groomed as ever, her glow not losing over time. Eventually, after years of maturing, even though she was hurt, she no longer hated the Onceler. Since she was very young, when these things were still mass-produced and easy to find everywhere, she kept newspapers, advertisements, magazine clippings and articles about herself, the Onceler and the two of them together. Although it was a painful moment, it was an important part of her life that she could not forget, and she kept them in a box for a while, until eventually putting them in a photo book, almost like a scrapbook. She kept photos of herself, photos of them in interviews, in public, articles, photos they took together, and even photos of the Onceler alone, because she did not want to forget him. He was special, even if he hurt her in the end. The two were too young and immature at the time to understand what they were doing, and even though she didn't forgive him, she believed that Onceler was a good, young guy who was too absorbed in his fame and money, and the conversations and private moments he had with her were proof of that. He had a good heart, but didn't know how to manage all the responsabilities he held at once, and he was irresponsible, she never excused that. She held fond memories of him as a first crush from when she was younger.

Then the events of The Lorax happen, where the boy/Ted plants the seed in the center of town and the wall around Thneedville falls. When Onceler came out of his 40-year depression and started planting the truffula trees again, Lana showed up and said she was looking for the Onceler. He didn't recognize her at first, and based on her angry demeanor, was afraid she was one of the vandals who had invaded his property over the years, throwing rocks at his windows and even at him, and didn't reveal himself at first, saying he knew the Onceler, but didn't know if he should trust her enough to tell her where he was (She was angry because he scared her off with that warm, sweet reception he always offers to visitors).

Onceler was very rude to her and told her to leave, and she didn't like his attitude either, treating him equally badly, calling him a grumpy old man (they're both old at that point). The old man said he couldn't tell her about Onceler without knowing if she was trustworthy. Even though Lana hated talking about her past and being recognized by old people because of it, she had to remind him of who she was and why she was trustworthy, so she told him that she was "that Onceler's girlfriend from the golden era of Thneed Inc, Lana Grant" and was immediately recognized. Some of the Onceler's hidden feelings were rekindled and he felt a mix of guilt and nostalgia when he saw her again, it wasn't like he had fallen in love again, but the time he lived with her by his side left a big mark on him. Lana was also his first lover and crush, and even though they had a bad ending, he didn't forget how good that time was.

Onceler said, "Why do you want to talk to him? Hasn't he hurt you enough?" and Lana replied, "Because I'm getting old and I'd like to work this out with him before it's too late, because we've never worked this out. I know he was just as much of a kid back then as I was. He was irresponsible, yes, but I know he was good too. I just want you to tell me where he is so I can go to him." Onceler thought about it and eventually showed himself to her. The two talked. He told her that he deeply regretted what he had done in the past, and that he loved her, but he was too irresponsible to know how to deal with all the responsibilities he had on his hands, and that he was too greedy to realize what he was doing. He didn't look for Lana to apologize because he thought she didn't want to see him, and he was too immersed in his own shame and sadness that he never left the valley again. The rumors he made up about leaving town were lies, so people would forget about him. He didn't want to put himself in danger because he knew people could hurt him, and that's what he could do at the time. Today he has replanted much of the valley, and he wants to make up for what he did in the past, but he doesn't believe he deserves forgiveness.

He and Lana talked a lot and she forgave him, even though Onceler didn't think she deserved it. I didn't think much about this ending, but I like to think that she took him for a walk in the city, now a city that is no longer run by any corporation, and showed him the things she kept from when they were young. Happy ending.

Alternative Ending:

I decided to imagine what would have happened if Onceler had listened to/listened to the Lorax from the beginning. He could have invented something that harvested only the leaves of the trees, which could grow back in a few weeks, and gotten more seeds that could be replanted to compensate for the trees that had been cut down, and expanded the size of Truffula Valley and separated the sectors into "newly harvested", "harvested 1 week ago", "2 weeks ago", "3 weeks ago..." and "ready for harvest". They could have torn down the city walls to allow the citizens to see what he was doing to the valley, and since he was on good terms with Lana, they could have easily gotten married, something kind of like Elvis and Priscilla's marriage (of course, without the toxic parts). They could even have children when they got older. Let's consider this a non-canon universe.

Environment:

Even though the story still takes place in Thneedville, there are some changes that should be taken into consideration.

The period of Onceler's fame and the growth of Thneed Inc lasted for at max of 5 years, perhaps 3. Considering that his fame time lasted 4 years, let's consider that Thneedville got done in the second year after he got famous. This way, the characters spend some time living in Thneedville before Thneed Inc went bankrupt, unlike in the film, where Onceler went bankrupt before the city's renovation was even finished.

The city was done before the Onceler went bankrupt; in fact, considering that his fame lasted around 5 years, the city would have been done around the end of the second/start of the third year.

Onceler is very similar to O'Hare, everything in the town revolves around him and his company. Thneed Inc not only makes Thneeds, but they own a construction company, they make cars, they make food, they make roads, they make clothes, they sell apartments, and everyone in the town, even if they're not directly working at the Thneeds factory, they're working at these outbuildings of the company. Ice cream shops, supermarkets, hotels, everything. Onceler has been buying up the small, independent shops in Greenville so the residents basically have to choose between working for Thneed Inc or leaving town, as there is nothing else in Thneedville. There must be a small grocery store here, or maybe a flower shop there owned by some stubborn elder couple, but that's it. Soon they won't be able to handle the pressure and by the time we get to O'Hare's Thneedville everything will be taken over by the pure capitalism.

2012 and 1972 adaptations are both taken into account, so there's Onceler Hills, a plaza with a golden statue/fountain just like the one from 1972 and also the annexes in the city. However, at the same time there is still a residential neighborhood, shopping center, casinos, cinemas, squares, etc. Many people also live in apartments. The factory workers live in Thneedville as well.

Thneed Inc Building:

In addition to the factory that is outside the city, Thneed Inc has a building in the middle of Thneedville, where fashion shows, parties, photo shoots with models (not only in the Thneeds/clothing part but also in promotional photos for other products made by Thneed Inc), etc take place. The maintenance part of the company is at Onceler's hands at the factory, he is the one who deals with the most important part such as contracts, expansion of the franchise, partnerships, and the Onceler always has to be present in the media at parties, photos, interviews, fashion shows and others, so he's a very busy guy. All company decisions also need to be known to him before, usually coming from his secretaries Miss Funtzler, Miss O'Schmuntzler and his mother (even though this last one sometimes does things without asking him first)

The parties are held to gain engagement on TV and in the newspapers, to sign contracts with other important names in the business, to maintain commercial agreements, to share company updates through public speeches and more (by the way, TV's, cameras, reporters and newspapers are all 60s style). They also promote Thneed products and sometimes there are fashion shows to show the versatility of Thneeds as garments and diverse functions. The guests are celebrities, reporters, businessmen, as well as their own models, the Onceler family and some employees. There is a red carpet at the entrance where there are many photos and sometimes autographs signed, but this is more unusual.

Onceler lives at the penthouse. When you take the elevator up to the top floor, the only door available is his. He has security guards who only let him (or authorized people) in. When you enter his penthouse, the first thing you see is a large open area (apparently rounded) with a kitchen area, a living area, and a dining area with a table, all separated but part of one large room. On the opposite side of the entrance door, there are "windows" that surround almost half of the room and there's a balcony outside, it has curtains for privacy. After that, there is a hallway between the living room and kitchen with other rooms and he has a guitar room, a desk to work at home (he never uses it), several giant pictures with newspaper articles talking about his success, photos of him, and lastly, the bedroom. The bedroom is rounded like the living room, and also has large windows that look out onto a balcony, but Onceler has curtains to cover this balcony and have some privacy. In the bedroom, in a separate room, he also has a closet full of expensive and diverse clothes (which he usually doesn't wear) and a huge bathroom as well, with two sinks, a sofa, a bathtub and a shower. He also has another bathroom like this outside the bedroom, near the living room.

Ending:

This is all just a huuuge sketch. I don't know what to do with it except telling you guys the story through a tumblr post and make silly arts about it. I'm trying to figure out how to draw Onceler in my artstyle, and at the moment his face is looking a bit too much like other artists' Oncelers, he's a bit undercooked. But let's pray I find it out soon 😭

I took weeks writing this post.