#AM I INSANE LIKE WHILE WATCHING IT I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE SO POPULAR AND I WAS SITTING IN SHOCK AFTER I LOOKED IT UP.

[whousestypewriters]

──── ୨ৎ IM A FAN — GRAYSON HAWTHORNE + READER ‧₊˚

a/n: hi lovelies! look its my first smau/fic (on this acc) and since i love making them here we are :))) hope you enjoy <3 sorry if this is too long btw. i need a grayson guys... maybe a possible series?!?!

grayson hawthorne was bored okay? he was bored, and for a man like him to be bored literally nothing must be happening. so how i hear you ask did he end up on the youtube page of a very popular booktuber? he blames xander, for watching her on the tv curled up with max earlier today. something about you.. intrigued him.

he stared at the account for the longest time before finally, finally clicking on your latest video about your fall tbr. and once he heard your voice it was like he was in a trance. the calmness of the video, your narration and the way you spoke to the viewers made him feel as if he was sitting there next to you on your bed.

he never watched this type of thing. he never really watched stuff at all. but suddenly here he was binge watching every single one of your videos. it was as if he had no control over himself and he just wanted to continue to watch them for the rest of the day.

by the time he had realised how late it was, it was dark out and the time read 6:43am. it must've been the delusion that made him type out the comment, or the fact that he hadn't actually slept yet. but either way he made a comment and that, that was the beginning of the start of everything.

────

you screamed. you actually screamed when you saw the comment on you post. grayson hawthorne??? the grayson hawthorne had watched your video? holy mother of-

the hawthorne's were notorious, all of them were, but grayson, he had the largest fanbase. the most obsessive one. the one with the girls that go crazy over anything and everything about him. its insane to think that he had commented on your video.

you thought it might've been just a once off. y'know he was just scrolling on youtube - yeah right thats not believable at all - and he happened to stumble across your video?

or maybe it was xander, he's followed you for a while actually, occasionally commenting and flirting with max in the comments. maybe he put grayson up to it. a once off.

so grayson commenting on your video really meant nothing - lies it meant everything - nothing, it meant nothing. who even cares? you definitely don't.

────

yn.books

liked by alya.green, maxine.liu.loo graysonhawthorne and 346, 282 others

yn.books what are you reading right now? (psst the book of the month is divine rivals by rebecca ross!)

view all comments

user1 the book queen posted!!!

user2 i bought divine rivals yesterday can't wait until my copy comes!!

user3 i died when i read the end 😭 roman and iris my babies

user4 OH OH OH GRAYSON HAWTHORNE IN THE LIKES??????

user5 RIGHT AND AFTER HE COMMENTED ON HER VIDEO A FEW WEEKS AGO

graysonhawthorne would you recommend divine rivals?

yn.books yes 100% its such a lovely read i definitely recommend you read it!

user6 GRAYSON??????????? GRAYSON??????

user7 GRAYSON HAWTHORNE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?????

────

"you bitch!" your best friend's voice fills your apartment as she rushes inside and stops dead in the living room. "why am i only now just finding out that grayson hawthorne comment on your posts?"

the murderous look on her face has you siting up quickly putting your book down on the couch. "...because i didn't tell you?"

"its the grayson hawthorne. i cannot believe that grayson hawthorne is commenting on your posts!" alya's harsh look turns gleeful as she rushes towards you and jumps on the couch - careful not to land on your book - and sidle up next to you to gossip.

"so why do we think he's interested in you all of a sudden?"

"he's not interested in me, alys."

"nope, he commented on your insta and your youtube, you're one step away from a marriage proposal now- hey, what type of wedding do you want?"

"we don't know, it could be xander's doing or even max's."

"nope you're gonna have kids together i can feel it."

"alya green-"

"OH MY GOD!!!!" she screeches jumping up and down. "OH MY GOD!!"

"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" you shriek back.

"LOOK!" she's grins shoving her phone into your hand

────

graysonhawthorne

liked by thehawthorneheiress, thexanderhawthorne ticking.time.bomb and 3, 622, 484 others

graysonhawthorne 🏛 💭 📖

view all comments

user1 OOHHHHHHHHHHH

user2 im giggling so hard rn i love this man

ticking.time.bomb why the sudden interest in reading gray?? 🤨 i saw the divine rivals copy in your bag

thexanderhawthorne THIS IS WHY HE HAD THAT BOOK?? gray are you trying to steal my book girl?

maxine.liu.loo excuse me she's my book girlie. not yours i just let you borrow her

user3 oh he's obsessed

user4 wish that was me fr

user5 i want himmmm

user6 the book girlies and the grayson girlies really won today

────

"grayson hawthorne," the sound of jameson's voice was never welcome in grayson's bedroom and clearly by the tone of his voice; this wasn't going to be good.

"when were you going to tell me that you picked up a fictional book? he paused. "even more so, when were you going to tell me that you got said fictional book from a 'book queen' of youtube."

grayson paused his reading and put down his copy of divine rivals, to look at a smirking jameson at his doorway.

"leave, jameson."

"okay gray, but let me know how your book goes, i hear it has a really shocking ending," jamie smiles and slowly walks away, calling out to xander to talk about books.

okay maybe his actions were a little out of character, but he wanted to understand what you were going to say in the next video. he wanted to be in the loop, to undertand what you were talking about.

he wanted to have something to talk to you about.

𐔌 . ⋮ 🏷️ tags .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

@arqbella, @midiosaamor, @maybxlle @reminiscentreader, @ecliphttlunar,

@tornqdowarnings, @catapparently, @zenikswaffleshop, @off-to-th-r4aces, @emila07

[emotsper]

Hi!!!!!!!!

You’re like the szai person on tumblr, and even tho I’ve been playing proseka for like two years, I still don’t read a lot of the stories………

So as the certified szai tumblr person, since you kinda own the tag, would you like to explain to me why szai is such a popular ship? I really didn’t read much of anything…

Have fun!!

let me be brief (1/350) (no bc its actually gonna be a long ramble. apolocheese.) (also sorry if formatting is awful im a mobile user and I literally just type whatever)

FOR REAL THOUGH. PLEASE JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND READ MMJ MAINSTORY...... not only its a good source of szai cocaina you get to experience the entire mmj mainstory. i was normal before mmj mainstory and i was less normaler after mmj mainstory.

it simply went even more downhill when i read tenshi no clover. genuinely the one event story that first made me cry (second one was ice drop event but thats a bit biased)

okay now lets get to the main meat of it. szai.

admittedly i was kind of normaler early on but one of my tipping point was Chasing the radiance event especially chapter 7. please read/watch it. please. this specific chapter sent me into my trip of insanity when it comes to szai. it also opened my eye to specific scenes in their side stories/mmj mainsto that i skimmed early on especially bc im a jp only player so fan tls may not be super accurate back then 💔

to start off, airi was a girl that was often made fun of for being tomboyish, and seeing idols for the first time made her feel a glimmer of hope that maybe she can also bring hope to other people. she finally manages to reach her goal and became an idol after several of failed auditions (very deserved especially after her hard work) while shizuku became an idol purely out of luck from the idol grand prix context her friends convinced her to join 😭😭 From the start their relationship feels a little bit doomed with how jealousy is kind of unavoidable from airis side. but against all odds, you get to see airi go to shizuku and cheering her up by giving shizuku her towel and telling her to wipe those tears especially with such a pretty face like hers (MACHINE CLANG CLANG RACK SFX) they are so crazy for this. especially when you realize that shizuku kept the towel until now. (the towel is her area upgrade item)

from this point, airi thought nothing much of shizuku yet other than her being her new rival (and that shes rly pretty) but shizuku sees airi as her main reason to keep going in this idol stuff at that time, and that was enough.

(okay purely for this next part im forgetting a bit so do remember it may not be fully accurate 🙏)

after training minori for awhile, szai went thru a mini divorce arc where airi was telling minori that being an idol isnt all fun and games and that minori should consider quitting, continuing on with how she flopped in the industry bc she was more popular as a reality show figure. but shizuku disagreed and kept saying how airi was an idol through and through and that she shouldn't have quit, but that just tipped airi off and she shouted at shizuku, unloading all her pent up jealousy that she had for awhile now. iconic as hell scene in the most angsty way possible.

u can easily tell this wasn't received well by shizuku. at all. airi you done fucked up. shizuku left her idol group the next day.

(addendum i forgot to add. shizuku truly believed that airi was the first and if not, the only person who sees shizuku as shizuku hinomori herself, without all the idol filter that people plastered on her. so when airi admitted that she was jealous w shizuku getting everything good in the industry, that basically broke shizuku. (color of myself is a nice one to read when it comes to this 🙏 also the i am we are event is a crazy good conclusion to shizukus current arc))

at this point airi realizes just how much shizuku was influenced by her past actions without her fully knowing about it. girl you done fucked up.

this scene is still one of the biggest and strongest kryptonite for szai fans. especially with what happens after.

after confronting shizuku about her choice knowing full well its airis fault, airi, angry at herself, goes immediately to cheerful*days training place (she knows the place since theyve kinda shared the spot iirc) while the rest of mmj follows. she started threatening arisa and almost threw punches but she held back and told the rest of cheerful*days that shizuku is more of an idol than everyone in the room (i may be hallucinating this one. do lmk)

they finally leave the place, and both apologies to each other. at the same time, they both admitted that they were each others idol

and then shizuku goes to tackle hug airi. what the queer

that only concludes the mainstory section btw. upon realizing it may be too much of a recap instead of actual explanation ill be brief w the rest of it (keep in mind i dont read EVERY szai story, just ones i was made aware of bc im playing on jp and story content is a bit harder to see/consume)

Main szai crazies for szai fans

1. chasing the radiance ch7. airi yet talks again about how shizukus hands are slender and elegant while hers are short and chubby (she compared her hands to a manju) and shizuku was mad at her about this and went on a long tangent about how airis gentle hands were the ones who pushes minori and shizuku forward when they think they couldn't.

this is probably the fifth time ive read this story and it still gets me. i hate these fruitsssss. please read the full chapter ive linked it near the start this chapter is so special to me.

2. my ideal idol (airi 5, jp only event for now)

Bro i Dont Even Know What Else To Say. Just Look At This Card

but if we're being serious . lets talk about this one specific card and the story shall we.

this card was a blast to the past; pre-mmj szai again.

we start off with present mmj getting ready for their turn in the joint performance with a new junior idol group that they were paired with. airi was a bit nervous and shizuku noticed it. so she offered to do something that would hopefully lessen the nervousness for both of them. shizuku softly puts her head on airis back and whispered several word of encouragements. shizuku reminisces to the past.

pre-mmj szai. shizuku was very nervous as she was waiting for her first performance ever as an idol. airi was also there, and it was going to be her first too. airi shows up to say hi to shizuku but she noticed that shizuku was really nervous and at the verge of crying. airi knew she had to do something and told shizuku to turn around, shizuku did. shizuku lets out a little surprised yelp as she feels airis hands and head pressing against her back. she could hear airi muttering some encouragement but we never get to hear what the words were, only that shizuku thought about how warm airis hands were. (i need to be euthanized)

back to the present, shizuku says that she hopes that this gesture can somehow "repay" for what airi did to her back then. i think im losing it. sorry

OKAY IM DONE IM DONE ITS ALMOST 1 AM MY BRAIN IS NOT GOING TO WORK ANYMORE IF I KEEP TYPING..... my brain can handle so little. anyways i hope this wall of text ramble can convince u to read mmj mainsto and consume more mmj stories........ i admit its not perfect or whatsoever bc i haven't read the mmj mainstory for awhile and i have a wee memory issue thats paired with my deafness so. yeah. enjoy. haha.

[punprincess321]

So... why didn't Bruce just lobby for Joker to get executed? Like you’re telling me this man doesn't have the cajones to kill the man that killed his son (he couldn't because Joker had diplomatic immunity but in recent years he just subscribed to "I'd be as bad as him if i did") but he couldn’t just... I don't know... USE HIS VAST WEALTH AND INFLUENCE TO GET HIM A SEAT IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!? Like if you're not gonna do it yourself, I get it, Batman should not be seen killing, but Bruce Wayne can absolutely be seen lobbying for Gotham's judicial system to give Joker the death penalty. Joker has never ONCE shown signs of improvement unlike the rest of the rogues gallery, he is fully aware of what he is doing, yes he's insane but he legit takes pleasure in the chaos he creates, there's no saving that, at this point he doesn’t even deserve the chair, he deserves to be held down and have a car battery clamped to his nipples. This fight between batman and joker doesn't end until one of them is dead and joker legit went to work at the DMV after batman died, there’s no saving joker while batman is alive.

"But he could break out with the help of his goons!" Bruce could use his wealth to pay them all off, every petty criminal and goon for hire gets a nice cash gift if they turn joker down, get lawyers that Joker threatened top notch security, HE HAS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ON SPEED DIAL! If Joker was getting executed, Bruce would absolutely get Clark and Diana to personally escort the clown to the exection room, both are wearing heavily armored gasproof suits so he doesn't try anything funny with joker venom or kryptonite or anything else.

"What about Harley?"

Do this when she is in a 100% hates joker mood, keep her with Ivy and her doctors and more security, I say flash because he's a nice guy who wouldn't taunt her and rile her up to save joker. Don't let the path to the execution room go by where she is, one look and she could be back under his spell.

"Oh in this comic they tried to execute him and it failed" okay I wanna see that and tell me where it went wrong, and if killing him STILL doesn't work, then make LIFE hell for him. If killing joker still doesn't work here's my pitch for what to do with him:

Lock him away from everyone, lock him in a secure painfully beige house, he eats nothing with color just potatoes, well done steak, eggs, onions, milk, water, bread, and beans, his only utensil is his hands, no paper, no glass, no plastic, no metal, nothing to be used as a weapon, he just gets food put straight onto the table and he eats it with his hands, he has to drink using those fancy water bombs made with seaweed. Every product he has access to is 100% natural, no chemicals he can use to make his laughing gas to poison the guards, all he gets to watch is the news and documentaries about stuff like how taxes were thought up or who invented sliced bread. He speaks to no one, no phone calls or human interaction, his only entertainment is tv which he can only watch through a window of 12 inch thick glass and the speakers can't be reached to mess with, all chairs and tables are built into the floor. The house receives routine maintenance to make sure nothing is loose or messed with, he's knocked out for each inspection with a lot of knockout gas, all security cameras are hidden so he doesn'tfeel the satisfaction of knowing people are watching him. He doesn't get to see batman either, his one reason to live is messing with batman and he doesn't get to do that. Everyone is just hoping he gets depressed and drowns himself in the bathtub.

Like I am seriously wanting one of these to happen, either Bruce walks up to Jason with passes to watch the execution or hands him security footage of joker crying in his boring cell as a birthday present and a big apology for not handling this asshole in so long.

AND FOR ALL YOU THAT WILL SAY "You can't permanently off the most popular batman villain!" I DIDN'T SAY THIS WAS PERMANENT! I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SEE THAT THERE IS A UNIVERSE WHERE BRUCE MADE UP WITH JASON BY GETTING RID OF THE JOKER AND NO CONSEQUENCES! And don't say "he did it for superman to prevent the injustice timeline once" that ain't what I'm talking about, I'm saying he does this for JASON. HIS SON.

I'm taking this shit seriously if you can't tell. If you want to add something I missed in either plan go ahead, I am basically wait for the day I get sucked into the DC universe and I can tell all this straight to Bruce's face and I need it perfect.

[dippable]

autism and media. spoilers for criminal minds, my hero academia, and dungeon meshi.

okay so, i'm an autistic person, and i've seen portrayals of autism (both implied and explicit) and they've had.. a range of quality overall.

in explicit examples, i've seen only a few. spencer reid comes to mind first- the autistic savant with an eidetic memory and a penchant for seeming robotic. i, personally, was heavily influenced by this guy- i did (and kind of still do) enjoy criminal minds after all. however, spencer's existence as one of the first explicitly autistic characters that was seen by a wider audience. the show was insanely popular, but in the later seasons (mainly after he was sent to prison) many of his autistic traits seem to fade away. of course, he is a traumatized man who was on high alert for a WHILE, but one would expect he wouldn't lose many of his core personality traits. personally, i think these were written out since his traits weren't seen as "popular", since autistic people can offend those they love or say the wrong thing on accident and it seemed too weird.

second, my hero academia. i don't think any of these characters are explicitly autistic, but i haven't watched in a while. mainly, i see deku and tamaki as autistic (although bakugo, aizawa, and shigaraki are.... suspicious) and i believe my views on these two are mainly influenced by the rest of the fandom, so here goes. overall, i think the characterization of these two lends itself directly to their emotional or anxious nature. most media i see with one or both of them severely dumbs them down to these traits, with tamaki getting the brunt of this treatment. most don't seem to remember that both of them are strong for their age, smart, and have faith in their quirks. even if tamaki might seem pessimistic about fights, he's just that- pessimistic. he's much more inclined to believe he'll lose because if he does, he's prepared to do what he can to help whoever comes after. deku is emotional, yes, but who wouldn't be? he's a teenager who's been told over and over again that he's a failure and he'll never achieve his dream, and suddenly, he's being helped by the #1 hero to become the person that he thought was unattainable. i think horikoshi's representation of them is alright, it's just mainly the fandom that compresses them into "uwu anxious cinnamon rolls too sweet for this earth" instead of remembering they're multifaceted characters, and damaging their own interpretations of real people in the process.

in dungeon meshi, i don't know if they're explicitly autistic (however laios and falin are HEAVILY HINTED AT so.) but the representation of autism here is incredible. in the series, we see laios fuck up with shuro (and, notably, we see the fandom sweep it under the rug because laios is white) while he has real, genuinely close relationships with others (marcille is like a sister to him, and chilchuck's his best friend) so we know he is a multifaceted character. he's also tied to the tendency of autistic people to be interested in fringe interests, or alterhuman circles. he thinks (like many others) that he's weird enough to people, so he throws all caution to the wind and goes all-in on being weird. i know that when i realized i was "too weird" for others, i just stopped caring, and that's how i got into many of my favorite things- like OFF, house of leaves, etc etc. if they thought i was weird then, i don't really want to know what they think i am now, especially since i'm out here playing obscure meta rpgs or reading books that require me to flip them around.

overall, i think the representations of autistic people in media have a long way to go. there is still a critical shortage of autistic poc in media, and many representations of autism are still influenced by the savant stereotype we see with spencer reid (see: the good doctor) and there's still a variety of symptoms that haven't been shown accurately yet. i'm very proud of where we've come, though- now, i can see an incredibly accurate portrayal of myself in laios, but there's still many autistic people who haven't seen someone they can relate to on the silver screen.

[animeziska]

In July, it was announced that one of my favorite manhwa is getting an anime adaptation — I'm talking about Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, also known simply as Omniscient Reader. I'm really hyped for the anime version and can't wait for it to come out. While there's no release date yet, I thought I'd help shorten the wait by introducing you to the webtoon. I hope I can get you excited about the story! Maybe after this, you'll want to check out the manhwa on Webtoon, or you'll be just as eager for the anime as I am.

Omniscient Reader originally began as a South Korean web novel written by Sing Shong, which concluded in 2020. The manhwa adaptation by UMI and Sleepy-C started the same year. The story is also being adapted into five live-action movies, set to be released in 2025.

Now, what is this webtoon about?

It starts with Dokja, a contract office worker whose hobby is reading web novels. He’s particularly fond of a novel called Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse (TWSA for short). However, the novel is far from popular — an understatement, really. It’s so long-running that every reader except Dokja has lost interest in it; he’s the only one still reading and following it. With 3,149 episodes, it's insanely long for a web novel — Dokja needed 10 years to reach the final episode.

Now, while sitting in the subway, Dokja finally finishes the epilogue of his favorite web novel. Flustered by the ending, he’s staring at his phone when a colleague from work, Sangah, the most popular girl in the office, strikes up a friendly conversation with him. As they chat, Dokja reflects on his life and how it hasn’t been going particularly well.

Since TWSA accompanied him through many tough times, starting from 8th grade, Dokja feels compelled to thank the author now that the novel is finished. He decides to leave a comment, and to his surprise, the author responds. The author informs him that the novel will become paid content at 7 p.m. that day and sends Dokja a copy of the entire novel as a token of appreciation for his loyalty.

It's almost 7 p.m., and Dokja is still on the subway when something unexpected happens. The subway makes an emergency stop, the lights go out, and a strange fluffy creature with two small horns appears! Dokja can’t believe his eyes — it’s a Dokkaebi, just like in the novel TWSA!

In that moment, the genre of Dokja’s life shifted to fiction, and he was the only one who knew what would happen in the following scenarios.

The novel had become reality. Not only did the Dokkaebis appear, but also the characters from the novel, along with monsters, constellations, and scenarios. It was all intertwined with the real world. At first, no one knew what had happened or what to do, but people had to learn quickly and accept the new reality if they wanted to survive.

The setting of TWSA is a world where so-called constellations exist. These beings have been immortalized in human history, ranging from mythic heroes and great sages to mythological creatures, spirits, and ancient gods. They typically don’t interact directly with humans. Instead, they find enjoyment in watching humans struggle through scenarios. These scenarios are challenges that act as obstacles to be overcome in order to progress toward the end of all scenarios, often posing deadly risks and costing many lives.

The Dokkaebi oversee the scenarios, acting as moderators and channel owners of the so-called Star Stream. On this stream, the constellations can watch humans compete in the scenarios. They also have the option to donate coins, send short messages to the contestants, and sponsor participants. A participant can have only one sponsor, gaining some of their sponsor's stigma. For example, the protagonist of TWSA, Yoo Joonghyuk, has the ability to regress: when he’s killed, he's sent back in time and starts over from the beginning of the scenarios. Kind of a cheat ability if you ask me.

The story unfolds into a thrilling fictional action-adventure where Dokja’s life is constantly on the line. He will meet people from both the real world and the novel whom he’ll come to call friends. Together, they challenge the scenarios and strive to reach the end.

Throughout it all, the question looms: How did the novel become reality? Is Dokja a part of it now, or is he still just a reader? His skill, Fourth Wall, suggests he’s a reader, but what happens when this wall begins to shake? If you want to find out, check out Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint yourself!

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

“I really just need to make an entire breakdown on Medic one of these days 😭” Well, do it. Umm, you coward —I'm so sorry for calling you a coward, Jamison :'(—.

Medic's Past Headcanons (Also Some Archimedes Content!)

————————————————————

No apology needed my friend, I am but a coward 😭

I lied a little bit, I changed my mind on doing a full breakdown, just changed it to some headcanons about his past and meeting Archimedes </3

But no, I've mainly not posted this because I've had other requests and also this one will probably get heavy. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post content with actual angst and upsetting themes.

But I'm here now because looking past all the jokes and my own personal love for doctors. I should also mention, written by an American and a person with know knowledge of the German education system, and medical practices in general!

ALSO, finally writing Medic with his accent and some actual German, please forgive me if you are a native speaker for using a mix of google translate and my very poor German skills 💖

————————————————————

ALSO ALSO mutual appreciation comment! Another thank you for letting me talk about Medic <3

————————————————————

TW: CHILD NEGELECT, SU!C1D@L IDIATIONS, FLUFF AT THE END!

————————————————————

He's been asked about his mother before, his answer has always been,

"Meine mutter? She vas good woman, she... she did her best." Said with a softer tone than anyone has ever heard him speak in.

He's lying. She severely neglected him as child. After his mother fell pregnant, his father left. His mother resented Medic for this, blaming him for his father leaving, refusing to realize how volatile their relationship had been before he was conceived. When Medic was born his mother refused to bond with him, holding him only when others gave her expecting looks. For the first years of his life his mother only tended to his basic needs to keep him from crying, his crying always annoyed her. It never got better with time, she never learned to love him like people had claimed when she started expressing her contempt for him. She would sometimes give him small bits of attention, then she would get a wicked smile on her face as he cried when she stopped paying attention to him for seemingly no reason. Always making him feel like he was responsible for the sudden lack of attention.

————————————————————

His younger years in school is also something he will lie about if asked. (I'm ignoring college because uh, I have no idea what to write for that 😭)

"I vas great, top of my classes, Natürlich. Ich war sehr beliebt."

(Of course. I was very popular)

When he was younger, he was top of his classes. He always excelled at whatever class he was put in, his favorites being science, he obviously loved medical textbooks, along with zoology textbooks, always had one of the other, he'd spend lunches just reading from his books, or hiding in the library, trying to learn everything he could about both. In a way you could say he was popular, but not in the good way. He always had his books on hand, always had the best grades, was always the teachers favorite student, and the other kids hated that. He took his fair share of beatings while he was in school.

————————————————————Medic had never thought about dying, sure he watched patients die, and he knew deep down his mother had died at some point, (He never heard from her after he left his home town, despite his attempts to contact her) but he never thought about the concept of him dying. It hit him like a ton of bricks when he had his first panic attack, and it clicked in his head that he just didn't want to be alive. He couldn't tell you why the switch flipped in his head that made him reach that low, but it did, and it was awful. He almost went insane, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't do anything besides sit in his room and feel years of emotions just hit him out of nowhere. He thought he would die, he wanted to die, dying would be preferable to whatever this was. In the midst of his panic attack, something hit his window with a loud thump. (Aren't I so clever for this transition? lmao 😭)

————————————————————

The day Medic and Archimedes met continues to be one of the best days of his life. A bird had hit his window, pulling him out of whatever spiral he was currently having. Medic just looked at the window for a minute, content to just assume the bird flew off after being dazed a bit. When he heard tiny coos and chirps outside. He pushed it open and saw a little dove huddled in a corner, cooing sadly, shaking as it tried to move its wing but chirping painfully when he moved his wing. Medic put his hand out and tried to scoop up the bird, and the bird ended up attacking his hand. Medic pulled his hand back, a tad shocked, but then tried again. The bird slowly eased up to him once he understood Medic wasn't going to hurt him. Medic took him inside and checked him out. His wing was broken, and it was nothing Medic couldn't fix. He fixed up the birds wing, then decided to get some things to keep the bird comfortable while he recovered. He ended up spoiling him without realizing it. He went to go buy a bird cage and ended up buying the nicest one, the best bird food, and even toys 😭 He came back and set it up all nice for the bird. They bonded pretty quickly after that. However, time passed, and Medic found himself growing attached to the little bird, even naming him, which he knew was a mistake the moment he did so. He knew it was a bad idea, and he did it anyway. After about a month of them living together, Archimedes wing was functional again, Medic enjoyed watching him fly from his cage to the door to great him when he came home from wherever he had gone. But after the third or fourth time, Archimedes greeted him at the door. He knew he was well enough to go back out into the world. That evening, before sunset, Medic opened his window and put Archimedes on the ledge, prompting him to fly off, totally not on the verge of tears, about to experience the worst pain of his life or anything. Archimedes just tilted his head, confused, turned around, and nestled up to Medics arm that he had been propping himself on. Audible sobbing could be heard from his house that night. Medic would later find a way to keep Archimedes to live forever with him, making sure that Archimedes was spoiled to death, and was told each day the value Medic put on their friendship.

"Wir werden für immer zusammen sein, mein Freund, das verspreche ich!"

"Coo"

(It'll be us forever my friend, I promise.)

(I'm counting on it)

————————————————————

Ough, im a sucker for a happy ending 😭or for some reason, I feel like this is super embarrassing, but I' going to ignore that feeling. Sorry for the angst dump, but it had to be done, and I'm sorry it's not very long! I hope you guys like this! Uh, a mini headcanons, then another Medic post, and then some new headcanons are in the works! There is so much Medic content, but I'm not complaining 💖

[astridthevalkyrie]

U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

[guardian-angle22]

welcome back! I need your thoughts on all the stuff that happened while you were “out of office”… Spinoff show! All the spoilers about carlos content and Tarlos spicy scenes (breaking a dresser! heehee) this year! are you excited?

Apologies for the late reply since you must've sent this to me back when I first got back from vaca. The show aired and I lost my mind and didn't notice this was sitting there.

Soo... Thoughts on the Spinoff show! I feel like there are two separate spinoff show discussions that have been had by various people and I'm not sure if they're being merged together into one now or not but my thoughts are very different for each.

Spinoff Option #1: 9-1-1 in a different city. This has been in discussion for years by various people. Lone Star was a success, so why not turn it into a franchise like CSI or NCIS with multiple cities? Angela Bassett made a comment about it during a recent Emmy presser saying something along the lines of “people need help in every city”… This is the spinoff that I could see happening regardless of how this season goes but with a brand new cast of characters. I probably would not watch this. I’m not a procedural girlie, this show was an absolute anomaly and I don't know how I got here but it's really just these LS characters I love.

Spinoff Option #2: the “Tarlos” spinoff. This is the one Rashad has spoken about pushing for and Ronen has been hyping up on social media and at cons saying it could possibly happen based on how viewership goes this season. I know some have talked about these as two separate shows but I don’t think that’s the case. I think Rashad talked about it in the context of Carlos’ character and the new ranger because that was the interview/article topic, but I genuinely don’t think there has ever been a discussion of having a Carlos only spinoff without TK. Given the popularity of the pair, from a marketing standpoint it would just be silly to even attempt to have one of the characters headline a show without the other also there. This one I feel like would have to be set in Texas and named something other than 9-1-1. I would absolutely watch... most of it LOL. I don't think I would watch any of the ranger content ngl. which I guess segues into my thoughts on the Carlos content spoilers...

Thoughts on the content spoilers!

The Carlos plots… I don’t really care about if I’m being honest cause I just don’t care about the rangers stuff and the s4 Gabriel murder plot actively makes me angry if I think about it for too long… BUT people are gonna like things I don’t and I’m gonna like things other people don’t. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as no one is a dick about it. and I certainly have no plans to yuck anyone else's yum. so my thoughts are: I hope other people enjoy!

The spoiler I AM insanely excited to see is the infamous furniture breaking sex scene. It just tickles me that they really went so hard they almost broke a toe and some furniture. That's the dedication we get from the Tarlos actors and I appreciate the hell out of it... Although it does not surprise me in the least given 1.02… I MEAN...

[the-greendalehumanbeings]

 Desperate Housewives Thoughts:

Ok so i am only in the middle of season 2 but this show has become my new obsession!!

Gaby: probably my favourite character. in my mother’s words she is at her best when she is being awful. she’s fiesty, funny and selfish but sharp. i love her little machinations and her constant plotting either to get what she wants or against Carlos. aside from her affair with John (which was super uncomfortable) i always enjoy her scenes. her fighting with that nun, and her and Carlos’s arguments are easily some of the best moments of the show. Carlos is an ass and their relationship is a trainwreck but thats what makes them so entertaining. especially when they are being awful to each other. 

Bree: funnily enough the reason i started watching this show was because i saw twitter talking about her and andrew’s turbulent relationship and it has not disappointed me so far. I love her so much more than i originally thought i would. we completely differ on politics but i can relate to how repressed she is and her discomfort with any kind of public emotion. who hasn’t turned the tap on and cried in the bathroom and then pretended it never happened. like how can you not love her? also her speech about freud not only cemented my love for her, it made me realise that i was going to really really love this show. 

Edie: what can i say? every moment she is on the screen is PURE GOLD. what other character has every been so iconic and unapologetic while casually committing arson. i also love her hidden vulnerability and the fact that she is desperate for some friendship but would die before admitting it. only complaint is that she needs to be in more scenes. they don’t make characters like her anymore.

Susan: lmao i know its really common and popular to hate on her but she she always makes me laugh. at best her clumsiness leads to funny moments and at worst she is mildly annoying. sometimes you just want to sit her down and tell her to get a grip lol.

Mary-Alice: i dont know if this was done on purpose but i love how slowly over time her tone becomes less serious and more amused by her friends antics. like she is removed from some of these emotions she had when she was alive. the longer time she is dead the more removed she thinks like human. drives home the point that she is looking in from the outside. she is dead and has become less attached to the worries and squabbles that plague the living. 

Lynette:  easily my least favourite housewife purely because everything about her life is my worst nightmare. every scene with her husband and kids raised my blood pressure. i think her family situation and life are so common in reality which tbh makes her story the most depressing imo. i like her better in s2 when she is working and her storylines don’t revolve around her family all the time.

Felicia Tillman- very cynical but i love her little monologue about about people being vultures and the fact that she gave martha’s dentures as an engagement gift to edie lol. absolutely insane thing to do.

Martha Huber- lmao what a nightmare. but i loved how her first solution for everything was to resort to blackmail lol.

Betty Applewhite- a brilliant actress who was wasted on this storyline tbh

Tom Scavo- HATE THIS MAN!!!!

[weirdestcornelius]

I am SO glad that someone mentioned the whole "fictosexual kids" thing because literally my first reaction when I saw it was "what about live-action actors" and seeing no-one talk about it made me feel like I was going insane.

With the caveat that I know this is all fake and that none of this could ever happen in real-life, I think my anger stems from more of a storytelling standpoint. I personally LOVE horror and in a vacuum this seems like SUCH an interesting concept to explore, but of course this is Sparklecare so it's just-- not??? It feels like the only explanation this gets is "Emem recognizes that sexualities are valid so anyone that's a good person can get an egg uwu" without doing ANY actual thinking about the possible repercussions this can have. It's all just hand-waved away as some "ideal world" bullshit that completely ignores the actual implications because if kit did, one person would feed bad about it and we can't have that.

I just-- okay. Here's one situation. You're a live-action actor on Spinch. You're the protagonist in some big movie and maybe even if you weren't popular before, you're sure as hell popular now. Like a lot of actors, you get fans. Well, whatever, everyone has fans! And some people have a crush on you, but everyone gets crushes, and it's only on the fictional character, so it's okay! But then you start seeing photos popping up of CHILDREN that people had with YOUR CHARACTER, and all of the sudden it's not some funny harmless fan thing anymore, those kids look like you and they may have the personality traits of your character but they still fucking look like you. And everyone says that they're the kids of the fictional character, it's not real, but that boundary was crossed the second that egg was created and now you can't even think about starring in another movie in case you have to deal with MORE kids that look like you but aren't.

(You know, for someone who doesn't want people shipping with Ally or Howie at all, you woulda thought that Kneeby would have put a little more thought into this.)

Or like-- imagine it from the kid's POV! You're born and you have a loving parent and you're happy for a short time. But then you realize that you only have one parent, while most other kids your age have at least two, so you wonder if maybe your other parent is dead or maybe you only have one because that happens sometimes. But then one day your parent turns on a movie or TV show and points at someone that kinda looks like you and goes "there you go, that's your parent!" and you're happy for a moment because maybe your other parent is just off doing important adult things! So you ask your first parent when you'll see them, but then they tell you that you can't. Your other parent doesn't exist. There's someone out there that looks just like your parent, but they don't even know you exist, and probably never well.

So you have one parent that you'll never be able to hold or talk to, but it's different then having a parent that's dead, because this one never existed in the first place. Half of your entire being is the result of some show, the result of some one-sided infatuation where you technically have another parent but you also don't. You'll never get to meet them because they don't exist-- not even in death. That other parent is never going to love you, no matter how much your first parent pretends otherwise. Even the closest approximation of them would never even give you a second glance. So you watch that same show or film over, and over, because that's the closest thing you will ever get to having quality time with them, but in the end it's never enough. It's always hollow.

Sorry I was having a moment.

--Faerie Anon

This. This explains my feelings perfectly.

It's different but also kind of the same with objecthries. Sure, you can look at and maybe even hold your other parent because they ARE real; but you'll never be able to have an actual parent-child relationship with them. They'll never be able to comfort you when you're upset, you'll never be able to truly bond with them via conversation, and you'll never be the same as anyone else because your body works completely differently than others.

Think about going to the doctor because you're sick, and the entire time they can't figure out how to help you because you have wires or stuffing (just examples) on the inside instead of organs. You're not sure how your own body works and nobody can give you an actual answer. When biology comes up in school, you always feel awkward because little to nothing is the same for you. Your anthry parent can't explain to you how your own body works and neither can doctors, teachers, or scientists. You're stuck having to live in a body that you will maybe never feel at home in because you'll never fully understand how it all works.

Yeah these kids are gonna be messed up.

[paskuda-lynx]

So, for a continious while I found myself too shy to post certain topics here. They are usually not particularly morally controversial or offencive. In fact quite often the topics are really popular in tags, which was kinda the problem.

Let's face it - I'm embarassed to show my thoughts on mainstream-faved characters exactly because they are mainstream and I fear being reduced to a fangirl stereotype in the eyes of the people who know me.

(Also it sorta seems unfair that in the fandoms there are always so many underappreciated themes and characters that I kind of enjoy too and yet instead of drawing obscure fanarts I am mulling on the topics that never have shortage of loving fans.)

Well, that fear is probably irrational, isn't it?

One: my social circle does not include the kind of someones who would significantly drop their opinion on a fellow human being which they knew for years just because of some guilty pleasures. In fact, a lot of them had one obsession that I'm personally not interested in or another and still my overall opinion on them remains unchanged (be it hours of talking about developing relationships with their girlfriend or hours of talking about their crush on William Afton). Why wouldn't it work the other way? ...If worst comes to worst, I will at least have blackmail material too, lol

Two: I recently found myself watching Borat (2006) with geniune interest. In this film a britain-born jew pretending to be a kazakh journalist wrecks chaos in usa to the sound of balkan music bangers (and I'm impressed that to fuck up cyrillic letters on 'kazakhstan worldmaps' so badly the moviemakers felt the need to take a normal cyrillic worldmap, clear half of the words and then fill the wacant space with keyboardsmash-gibberish. That's purposeful.)

That being said: this movie made me remember all of that shit of various levels of insanity that I call 'leisure activities'. I baked off-Paskha-scheduled unholy kulichs with spiced meal crickets instead of dried apricots in them. I catched peacocks on a tourist farm to check on their heart and respiration rate. I cleaned a shrew's skull no bigger than my thumbnail with a single needle at night in a vegetarian yoga-sanatorium. I gladly received an invitation to my friend's house to tea, homemade cake and lamprey dissection. I carved from linden a removable palisman staff tip in the memory of the kingfisher that I gave a lift to rehab center last summer. I played mouth harp and exchanged folktales at Samhain night. I hunted for vipers and grass snakes waking up from their anabiosis in spring and defined their sex with the help of a button probe and a tube of vaseline creme.

The point is, maybe I do need a mainstreamed-fav-character. You know, for some balance.

___

It's not like loving something popular somehow makes you one-dymensional, anyway

[theinfinitedivides]

this is so random but i would love to hear your opinion on mydramalist as a fellow asian drama lover. because it’s obviously well known as a reliable wiki of sorts in dramaland but i beg to differ. (the only plus i feel being the summary and cast list for info)

i mean, i’ve not seen a single comsec w more than two brain cells as a whole? there’s always complaints about female leads rooted from misogyny, they are never happy about story progression, and i just find so many of them kinda dumb sorry lol. like zero media literacy to be found, insufferable arguments, etc. the star ratings are rly just given to popular dramas w high profile actors too.

and i personally find it disheartening that so many ppl end up referring to mdl when considering dramas because so many gems are then lost and not given appreciation.

anon. anon anon anon if you know the way i sat straight the f*ck up when i saw the notification and then read through this ask bc yes. yes to everything here that is exactly it. almost three fourths of what i've watched this year was either 1. not received well by the general MDL crowd (Moon in the Day. where is the taste brethren to not like MITD and not even for reasons that actually make sense), 2. received well but had a good chunk of people bitching in the comment section, or 3. received well but had the main point of the show (and its relevant characterization) go over their heads. (The Worst of Evil aka TWOE comment section, i am f*cking looking at you. i can count on one hand the number of people who understood what that show was supposed to be about) the one fourth that managed to escape was bc the toxicity did not reach the comment section and everyone was pretty f*cking civil. alas if only it could be like that all of the time

case in point for the ratings example, since we've already briefly tackled the lack of media literacy—j-dramas on MDL are notoriously rated much, much lower than either k- or c-dramas. half of the time that's bc there are less users watching (and rating) them therefore the average is lower but the other half it's bc people simply do not understand good media when they see it. don't get me wrong there's some freaky ass sh*t in the j-drama world that i would not touch with a Grinch level pole but to see MDLers out here talking about how slow j-dramas are and that nothing's happening. have you considered that you are either watching the wrong genre or you shouldn't be watching j-dramas in the first place bc their entire setup and general narrative framing arcs are not your style. have you even thought about that for six seconds or are you too busy expecting it to read like a typical tropey rom-com k-drama with your trending oppas. (no hate on my tropey rom-coms with [most of] said oppas, i need them when i don't want to think i just want to see sh*t on my screen and scream about hot people and the Hand Umbrellas in the Rain and the Back Hold when the male lead catches the female lead before she falls and you have the fifteen second focus on their faces just looking at each other)

and the misogyny. oh God do not get me started on the dichotomy that was the Cult, as we affectionatly called ourselves, on the feeds while THEE sageuk of the year My Dearest was airing (beloved show [that i still need to finish. JangChae i'm sorry ily life hates me like the mf it is 😭], beloved commentary on the feeds. they saw the vision on the feeds) vs the sh*tshow that was the landmine field of the comment section (the takes i saw on Gil Chae, Eun Ae AND Ryang Eum respectively.......... the misogyny wasn't enough we had to add the homophobia into the mix. buy one get one free deal fr fr). you mad man. that sh*t was insane there was a point i banned myself from scrolling farther than the cast section until the show finished airing. i kid you not on average they didn't have even half a braincell. maybe a quarter of a quarter of one. f*cked up just say you are not decent people and go

this is not to say that all of MDL is like this. i have gotten tuned into absolute masterpieces of content (and have tuned others, amen) bc of a comment comparing a show i'm watching to another one or a review being posted in the feeds about a film with less than 500 people interested. i have reconsidered my choice to not watch something after having spirited discussions in private messages discussing the pros and cons of the premise and whether they managed to get it done without f*cking sh*t up. i still contribute semi-regularly by adding relatively unknown actors and crew members to the database so they can get the credit due them. if you know where to look, you can get some good sh*t out of that place. problem is most users who are new to both the site and East/Southeast Asian cinema as a whole don't know where to look, and the cycle continues, and the ratings continue to be skewed/bloated and no one pays attention to the plot, if there even is any to pay attention to.

tl;dr: begging people to not let MDL be the be all end all for their drama recs a la 'well MDL doesn't like it so i won't watch it'. babe we have said MDLers complaining about how the ratings on Viki are too high but in my entire time watching dramas i've found that in the past two to three years the Viki ratings are making more sense than the MDL ones. sit with that for a sec. when you're done branch out and see the world (literally and cinematically), i promise you will be a better person for it

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/8/2023

theoretically seeing two apartments this afternoon so i am taking the date as good luck

listening

the asteroids galaxy tour's the sun ain’t shinin no more. this was apparently a very famous iPod commercial song? wasn't paying attention to general popular culture when the original iPods were coming out. i would attempt to classify this as somewhere between the doors and smash mouth. spotify.

bitches by tove lo (feat charli xcx, icona pop, elliphant, ALMA). is this a good song? eh. is it fun to scream-sing while navigating through packs of lifted pickups whose hoods are higher than the roof of my moderately-sized hatchback? yes. spotify

how'd i find these? really leaning hard on spotify autogenerated dance playlists these days.

-

reading

normal pair of books to read at the same time

diana biller's hotel of secrets was an odd one. you CANNOT take away from this section "oh tumblr user girlfriendsofthegalaxy hates consent" okay? i don't piss on the poor either. i had to really think about if i thought the sex scenes were jarringly modern and concluded no, they simply challenged my preconceptions of what a single mid-thirties woman in late 1800s vienna might get up to in a time when the best available methods of birth control were french letters. however, the lengthy discussion around consent and boundaries read as somewhat performative and out of place? or like a slightly different tone? than the rest of the actual sex scenes.

in many ways the romance was the b-plot to the hotel's inner workings and the international intrigue, which was fun. i enjoyed the a-plot enough to put a hold on biller's next romance, about a young american window in gilded age nyc. we'll see how that all shakes out!

i did not enjoy and did not finish chris miller's hefty pop history book on the history of microchip production and manufacture. got about a third of the way through. i think i most disliked his approach-- the technical style is very polished, one sentence flows into the next quite well, although we have very different opinions about the meaning of "intuitive" -- but we sit in very different seats watching the american political thunderdome. the way he presents his ideas is a bit jarring, bc it is an almost full-throated and uncritical endorsement of america's cold war diplomatic policies. i think many people would agree with me when i say those policies were not very good.

both of these have been on my holds list for months and i could not tell you the inciting incidents that made me place a hold.

-

watching

in my best friend's endless search for Things to Have on in the Background That Are Semi Child Friendly (or THBTASCF), i have viewed National Treasure (2004, dir. Turteltaub), Rush Hour (1998, dir. Ratner) and Rush Hour 2 (2001, dir. Ratner).

i cannot say i truly enjoyed any of these choices or that they have aged particularly well. national treasure has such an ominous looming of the whedonesque Well That Happened!!! that continues to infect movies.

also rewatched The Mummy (1999, dir. Sommers) bc i wanted a screenshot of the subtitles [YEEHAWING, GUNSHOTS] which is my Texas Adventure(TM) tag, but the subtitles on my pirate movie platform of choice are not that sophisticated. you'll simply have to take my word for it bc my dvd box set is still in storage.

-

playing

mainlining g/enshin impact. did not realize a whole nother goddamn country is being released next week. their every-six-weeks major content update schedule is batshit insane and i do not want to really think about the level of crunch happening over there.

the regions we have so far are legally-not-switzerland, not-china, not-japan, not-india, and we are going to not-france next. it has a real jules verne/twenty thousand leagues under the sea/steampunk vibe about it. look at this whimsical little deep-sea diver boy!

i have not enjoyed this past region (sumeru, legally-not-india) as much as the others. this may be due to the hiccup of seasonal depression i am experiencing. it may be bc this is the most Contiguous Landmass segment of the map and it's less segmented into individual regions than the other countries. it may be bc i have not spent quite as much time running around here as i have liyue (legally-not-china) which does feel genuinely comforting to run around. it may be bc the last time i played this game i still worked in the games industry and i still have residual brain weirdness about playing games.

i do appreciate their dedication to Big Fuckoff Trees tho.

-

making

fallow weeks. things are simply not percolating in time for yeehawgust, due to the agonies, and that's fine, i'm telling myself through gritted teeth.

[narrators-journal]

For fics, maybe some Eikichi x Miyabi, set in the future where they live together, they’ve been doing better with their self image issues and maybe some slightly spicy but not explicit NSFW body worship and them appreciating each other?

I’m realizing, I am not too sure what makes something body worship? But I’ve taken melatonin, and today’s been hard, so I’m not putting that much thought into it, lol. I hope this is wholesome, and a proper amount of gently spicy. I tried to keep it cute, and to throw in some teasing and implications to match.

Miyabi smiled slightly as she watched her husband, Eikichi Mishina, through the livingroom window. His dark blue hair, usually meticulously styled and gelled, untouched today, his headphones on so he could lose himself in his chores playlist, his vampire-pale skin finally able to get some sunlight thanks to the stagnant, humid heat that had his shirt tossed onto the lawn chair on their porch. He was a sight to see, for sure.

Granted, despite his popularity as an indie singer, not everyone would’ve agreed with Miyabi’s opinion. Eikichi was tall, his eyes were an unnerving shade of red, his skin always seemed oddly pale, and, despite his dances and high energy performances, Michel had a healthy amount of soft weight on his body. Which, to an outsider, who was fed the usual expectations of buff, body builder celebrities, would likely be a dissapointment. Yet, Miyabi knew her husband’s history, and just how hard he’d worked to let himself soften even a little bit.

Plus, all it took was a small glance at her own full bodied figure to remind her that she had no real room to complain. Because, while yes, she’d lost a good amount of weight from her highschool years, her body still wasn’t back to the physique she’d had in junior high. So, according to those same insane standards, she was far worse off than her husband. But, the social opinion’s demand for perfectly slim, youthful girls with the curves of a porn star without even a hint of a belly roll seemed to entirely miss Eikichi.

When he saw Miyabi, he still saw that beautiful trend-setter that had a flock of men at her feet. When he saw the stretchmarks left from her highschool weight gain, his eyes would light up with the same lust a man might show for a model. Every offer of the chance to see her undressed had Eikichi’s brain frying like a wet electronic. He never hid how much he adored her figure, no matter what age or diet did to her.

On a bit of a whim, she left the living room window to step out into the summer heat. Her husband obliviously focused on sweeping the dust and leaves away, his back to her as he hummed along with his music. So, Miyabi stepped closer to run her hand up along his spine to make the tall man squirm. “Ayo! Mimi!” He squawked, his headphones all but flung off of his head with the speed his head turned to look back at the smaller woman. “What? All I did was touch you.” She said, before her other hand joined in on the exploration of Eikichi’s soft skin. Down to his sides, where she squeezed the muffin top his pants created. Meanwhile, her husband stammered and tripped over his words as he argued, “Well, yes. But, we’re outside, you can’t go groping me.” “I’m not groping you,” She sang, her arms now snaked around him from behind, the soft dust of pink on his cheeks a welcome sight to the ebony-haired woman. “I’m just appreciating your figure, songbird~”

That only seemed to cause the singer’s cheeks to turn a redder hue, but he also didn’t stop her hands from sliding over his body. Only really able to muster, “Might I ask what brought on this sudden...’appreciation’?” to get a hum from the woman, a shudder drawn out when she kissed and nipped his back. “I just enjoyed the view of you shirtless and doing chores. Not much else.”

That was it. That was her only real reason for having braved the stagnant, humid heat of the summer. But, as his wife, she knew she didn’t need much of a reason to ghost her lips or finger tips at the edge of his waistband. Though, what she didn’t expect, was for the pretty man to spin around in her arms, the broom and porch chores forgotten in favor of scooping her up. “Alright, that’s it. Come on, Mimi.” “Woah! Wait, you’ve got shit to do, Eikichi!” She argued through a squeal of laughter, her own cheeks warmed now, “Yeah, but you’re a priority~”

[siconetribal]

A Royally Unexpected Turnabout 2

Summary: With Tamaki back in school, Kyoya hopes for some semblance of normal insanity. However, the presence of a new queen with her own shadow throws that away. With a personality that rivals the energy of their excitable king and a guard that catches the eye of Honey and Mori, the duo sends the Host Club running once more.

A/N: Please like/comment/reblog and if you’d like to be tagged, let me know!

If you’re new to the story, please check out the master post for the rest of the chapters.

The lovely banners used in this fic are from @cafekitsune.

    As soon as the two young ladies entered the building, the attention intensified toward Rin. Everyone who saw her made an effort to greet her, even those who only heard of her arrival tried to find a way to cross her path. It was a bit a little stressful, but she graciously responded to it all with the help of Zaina keeping each encounter short.

    "Well aren't you popular already," Zaina teased after pulling away the young miss from yet another small group of students admiring her model-like figure in the school uniform. The fact that they were able to fawn over the same yellow gown all female students wore was becoming mildly entertaining, and a little obvious. She already knew this was their attempt to network, taking the necessary social steps to (hopefully) start a fruitful relationship. 

    "Oh, shush!" Rin puffed her cheeks a little as she scowled at her companion. "You know very well this is all just for formality's sake!"

    "You say this but," Zaina's voice trailed off as she continued to tease the youngest Chibana. In her years of working for the Chibana family, Zaina came to learn that the rich were predators always on the prowl. Be it a marriage proposal to solidify business ties or a simple greeting to lay the groundwork with someone influential, they were always looking for new bridges to build and stairs to climb in their scramble to top or to simply keep their heads above the surface. I get how knowing someone is helpful, but to go as far as they do? It's insanity! Then again, look at where I am and where they are. She silently compared herself to the many here. Though she was not naive enough to reject money, she certainly preferred her lifestyle to the idle time the younger generation of the wealthy seemed to have. She was brought out of her thoughts as they were stopped yet again, this time by teachers. Shouldn't they be helping us get to class on time? She let out a silent sigh as she watched Rin smiled and tactfully maneuvered the situation. It was certainly a sight to behold. I don't think I could ever do this, especially how she does it. She thought over her own social interactions which, more often than not, severely lacked the poise Rin had. I'd end up with three feet in my mouth somehow.

    Neither of the two were surprised by so much attention. It was the same in Rin’s last school. Some fawned over her and the success of her family, while others aimed to surpass her. This dynamic never changed and that was a good thing. There was nothing unexpected and made the transition smoother, although it did make it difficult to get things done at the moment. The two were able to press on and made their way to the office where everything was finalized and they were given a tour of the academy grounds.

    As the faculty member led them away from the beautiful library towards the high end science labs, Rin found it impossible to not speak up. “If I may,” she raised her voice just enough to grab their guide’s attention. “Is there a particular reason why you keep looking at Zaina?” It’s obvious you’re disapproving of something, but what? It's not like you haven’t seen someone’s help before, that would be absurd! Though, I suppose I’m the only one who has one with me. She turned her attention to Zaina, whom she knew was also aware of the glances but was simply ignoring it as she should; uncertain what was the issue and if she was able to correct it.

    “Excuse me,” he cleared his throat. “What do you mean?”

    “I’ve noticed you’ve been looking her way quite a lot. I would hope it is not due to the fact that she is only half-Japanese. That wouldn’t do at all.” Rin frowned, unable to come to any other conclusion as to why he kept looking down at her. She had dark hair, like most, but her eyes were grey and her facial features were a little sharper.

    “Oh no, not at all! We accept students of all ethnicities here! One prime example is Tamaki Suoh himself!” He was quick to clarify, realizing the egregious misunderstanding that was coming to light. “Her ethnicity is no trouble at all! I was merely observing...well, her choice of dress. It is not the girl’s uniform.” He clarified to Rin.

    “Is that all? We made sure to get permission and even sent photos of the final look for approval.” Rin maintained her composure, but was slowly growing unamused at how this was being handled. Dislike or not, she is with me and that alone should have you behaving as if there’s nothing extraordinary to be seen.

    “As she said, I have permission from the headmaster to wear something suitable for me to complete my duties and best care for Ms. Chibana. Though I am her personal maid, I am also her personal guard. Wearing a dress with ruffled underskirts and penny loafers is hardly a suitable ensemble for quick reactions.” Zaina calmly answered, not surprised by this disapproval.

    “Yes,” he slowly responded while trying to carefully word his response. “That may be true. However, the student handbook expressly specifies what is or is not allowed in the school. I’m sure there was something else that would be more appropriate and less...distracting.” He reasoned, clearly trying to say something without entirely saying it. “Our academy is one of the safest in the nation. There is no need to be so wary.”

    “A strange man was able to sneak on school grounds during the annual examination day by simply throwing on a white lab coat to “look like a doctor”.” Zaina visibly frowned. “As “safe” as the school may be, an incident such as that is not ignorable,” She bluntly added, the teacher taken aback by her knowledge. Simply put, neither of them should have known about it since the administration did everything in its power to keep it under wraps. No one was allowed to speak of it so that it would quickly blow over. “If I’m not mistaken, the Ootori family is the one to provide the medical personnel for these examinations. Though it is a sole and isolated incident, one incident is one too many.”

    He quickly turned to Rin in hopes that she would assist him in this matter by scolding her help from speaking in such a manner, but was met with an expression of pure acceptance and calm. She was not going to step in and silence Zaina. “Ah, that is true. Nonetheless, that does not give any justification of your choice of uniform!” He tried to speak with more authority. “This is a school for those striving to run business and go into politics. Distractions must be minimized at all costs.” Rin was poised to answer, opening her mouth to speak up when someone answered from behind her.

    “You are mistaken. Her choice of uniform is not breaking any rules.”

Wait, that voice. Rin turned to see none other than the Host Club.

    “The student handbook states that the school uniform must be worn by enrolled students.” Kyoya continued to speak. “The length of the blazer is appropriate to her body, shorts and crew socks are the proper onyx shade, and the color of her shoes are one of the acceptable colors.” He casually concluded, snapping his little black book shut.

    “This is all very true, dear teacher!” Tamaki stepped forward. “You must also remember that she is stepping into our beautiful world from another! In commoner schools, the boys and girls both wear blazers and some have sailor styled uniforms for the young maidens. We mustn’t be so hard on her for who she is.” He firmly shook his head. “To look down on her would only alienate her further. We must embrace her, teach her of the gloriously refined ways of our own!” He dramatically waved his arms in the air, punctuating his speech with grandiose gestures towards a highly unamused Zaina and a bewildered and awe-inspired Rin.

    “From a fashion standpoint, it’s certainly top quality fabric and stitching.” Kaoru chimed in, suddenly appearing to Zaina’s right.

    “It’s avant-garde to our school uniform system. Something to look into for possible replication, even if not in the school itself.” Hikaru added from Zaina’s left, the twins carefully looking over her attire.

    “All in all, it’s not a fashion travesty” They said in indifferent unison with a shrug, the argument feebler than Tamaki’s. Rin giggled meanwhile Zaina was left trying to surmise if she should be offended or appreciative of this help.

    “I think it’s cute!” A small sweet voice piped up from above, both girls looking up to see Mitsukuni brilliantly smiling from his perch on his cousin’s shoulders. “It’s unique, like a personal cake! The blue always reminds me of blueberries, like a mini-blueberry cheesecake! Though I prefer strawberry cake, blueberries can be very good too! Especially when they’re sweet. We should all have cheesecake and tea together! That would be really good! Oh, strawberry for me though. Takashi, Takashi, let’s get some cake today!” He peered down at Takashi who simply grunted in response.

   Is...is he comparing me to desserts or is he just hungry?! Zaina simply stared up at the tiny bubbly blond with an unreadable expression while Rin tampered down her shock. It was at this point that neither of the two new students knew what to do. The intention was to handle the situation, but as simply as possible. Now, here they were with a group of confident and outspoken students who mysteriously appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

   Who are these guys? Rin wondered, amused and very much intrigued by each of them. They were all such different personalities, none of whom matched anyone at her former school. If nothing else, they are the big difference between here and there. I didn’t expect anything worthwhile when coming here, but I’m happily surprised. She peered at Zaina from the corner of her eye before spotting the male teacher who now looked very exhausted by these turn of events.

    “They’re always like this,” Haruhi placed a reassuring hand on Zaina’s shoulder. “They mean well. It’s not exactly done in the best way every time, but their hearts are in the right place.”

    “Is that so,” Zaina mumbled her response, watching as the teacher grew more haggard from being outmatched by the group. Tamaki happily thanked the teacher at his acquiesce before coming up to the young women.

    "Thank you for all your help," Rin smiled at the group.

    “Not at all. We’re relieved to have been able to make it in time to rescue you. It would have been a great burden on my soul to know I had done nothing!” He grabbed Zaina’s hand. “You, my wildflower. ,ust understand that not everyone is not from your world. Not everyone is as open-minded as myself. Your commoner ways are an oddity that frightens most, but are such an enlightenment. It is a shame not everyone shares my sentiments.” As his speech continued, Rin stifled a laugh at the expression on Zaina’s face. The only thing the young help could think of as he continued to prattle on was what word best described him. Only one word seemed to best fit.

    “Obnoxious,” she felt her eye twitch a little as she unintentionally uttered the word as he leaned in closer to her. Tamaki gaped while the twins roared with laughter in the background.

    “Look Takashi, he’s doing it again!” Mitsukuni hopped down and poked at the frozen blond.

    “I said the same thing when I first met him. Like I said before, it isn’t always done right but they mean well,” Haruhi softly giggled as Tamaki ran off to sulk in a corner, hugging his knees.

    “You weren’t wrong,” Zaina sighed as she watched Tamaki. “Oh, he does that as well?”

    “What do you mean “does that too”?” Kyoya raised an eyebrow at this, adjusting his glasses,

    “Zaina,” Rin hissed and gave a sharp tug to her sleeve with puffed cheeks in childish anger. This change of pace caught the attention of the other hosts, quieting down as they watched with peaked curiosity.

    “Well, I’m not wrong,” She mumbled under her breath which flustered Rin further and led to her being shook by the youngest Chibana.

    "No one needs to know about that! You should be on my side of this!" She whined a little. “You’re my help!”

    "Yes, yes! I am on your side, don’t worry." She laughed off, breaking free of Rin's grasp.

    "You better be! You know for a fact that it's not as bad!"

    “Or is it? Have you ever properly looked at yourself when it happens?” She snickered, dodging a whack from her flushed friend. As the two vaguely spoke between each other, Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose. It was not certain that the peace he was hoping for was not to be.

   It was foolish to think that the helicopter would be the only change of pace. It unloaded something more than I want to handle right now. Though his thoughts were more pessimistic, a small smile threatened to curl at the corner of his lips. This is to be the new normal, but at least everyone is here. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to myself and him to class.” He pointed to their sulking leader.

    "But, but, mommy! She was so mean! Just like our first daughter!" Tamaki cried as he clung to Kyoya.

    “First daughter? Mommy?” Rin and Zaina looked to one another, utterly confused with what was going on.

    "You're not my father!" Haruhi angrily countered for the umpteenth time, sighing in exasperation.

    "Yes, yes, I know. Kids will be kids, now we must get to class.” Kyoya nonchalantly responded as he managed to get Tamaki up on his feet. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Rin Chibana. We look forward to seeing you at the Host Club.” He gave a light nod with a practiced cordial smile and dragged Tamaki away.

    "We should probably get to class too," Haruhi sighed, looking at the twins who stuck their tongues out in distaste but gave a small shrug.

    "I guess we have to as well," Mitsukuni said with a slight pout at the lack of sweets. "Oh, before we go! Which classroom are the two of you in?" He turned to look up at Rin and Zaina.

[filipinosamflynn]

RED RISING BOOK 1 CHARACTER TIER LIST + FULL THOUGHTS! >:D

Below is my review of book 1, I'll go into spoilers. After this, I'm either gonna move onto a different book or try to find golden son. Not sure which one will happen.

But yeah, great book, 4 stars, or 8/10! Definitely just set up for things to come in the trilogy, but also a really good setup & story.

PREFACE: This is from the perspective from somebody who DOESN'T read books for fun too often. Red Rising was the first book in a long while I chose to read for fun since Harry Potter in 1st year high school (I didn't even finish the series, I stopped at the start of Half Blood Prince). So you're dealing with one of the most casual guys who went into the series. Another thing: I came into the series thinking it would be similar to Nimona (2023) or Sylas's story from League, since I brought up these two things when I first asked for book recs, so my expectations were HORRIBLY wrong (kind of, sylas's lore is pretty similar and the only difference is that sylas gets STRAIGHT into action but also his characterization sucks). So my perspective is strange, is what I'm saying, and I am far from the most valid person to be seriously reviewing this book. I'm just sharing this for fun lmao :P

I'm just writing the first few things that come to my mind, so stick with me people! These are messy, unfiltered thoughts.

This book is rough, really whumpy at the start of the book, but it's good whump. It's just setting up and establishing what's to come and to make all the payoffs feel better by showing us the insane suffering Darrow goes through. But also? Damn. That was rough. it felt like grimdark (this is coming from the perspective of a guy who actively avoids all things grimdark - with the exception of whump fanfics on ao3).

And then we get into the institution, and I just went, "oh. This is hunger games harry potter." I was a bit disappointed to be honest, I know the book is called "red rising" and it literally means "the slow rise of a red" so he still needs to prepare himself for what's to come, but also... eh?????? Someone in Reddit called this segment "pierce brown kidnapping fans of the hunger games when it was at the peak of its popularity", which ✨️iconic behavior✨️ but I was a bit confused as we took this academy stuff seriously. But slowly, I grew into it when the characters started interacting. I liked it when Darrow was interacting with others since the first half of the book felt so isolating. I liked every single scene Sevro shows up since he brings so much chaos and fun to a story that had so much downtrodden underlying sadness. The chapter 9 reveal is still hitting me, like "damn FUCK THESE GUYS BRO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS PLANET HAS ALREADY BEEN TERRAFORMED???" Also because sevro's fucking awesome, but that's besides the point. The same goes for Darrow's scenes with Virginia and pre-sword fight Cassius, but they aren't as iconic as Sevro.

Darrow is a super compelling protagonist for the story he's in. Making him this power fantasy fulfillment guy makes things feel all the more liberating when he beats the shit out of a guy, it's sort of like a shonen anime protagonist, I guess (i don't watch anime btw). Bro talks about Eo a bit too much though 💀 it got to the point where it got a bit funny, but some moments do hit... before virginia came into the picture as the better love interest since she's girlboss and eo is seraphine from league of legends.

Most of the characters are well written or awesome! The proctors are real loveably hateable pieces of shit I wanted 200 feet below the dirt, and I loved seeing them get beat up. Except you Fitchner, you are iconic, and you gave us Sevro. I love you. Antonia, Cassius & Jackal are just set up here, and it's mildly disappointing? I am super happy the finale ended up being "FUCK THE PROCTORS" but also that stole time away from finishing off the inter-student conflicts. Yeah those will 100% be explored in the rest of the books with more time to do so, but damn :/ the last time we see Antonia, I think she just stands there at a castle to remind us she exists??? Whatever, watching the proctors get shit on was exactly what I needed to want to see more out of this series.

I was a bit disappointed when Darrow ended up being the only red we explore in this book. I was kind of disappointed when Darrow just speaks with a gold accent the entire time, I hope later in the series he speaks like a red again because I have a red bias and hate fancy ass shit. From a book called "red rising", there aren't too many reds after part 2 which I found odd for a revolution story about a red taking control over the system. Titus? Ohoh! FUCK HIM! why did they write him to be this rapist guy, and he just exists to let darrow know he isn't the only fake gold at the institute. I was mildly hoping we would get to see another red-turned-gold team up with darrow as a 100% trustworthy ally since I felt like we needed it after all the loneliness Darrow goes through, but sadly no :(

OH AND THE ACTION SCENES HELL YEAH!!! Reddit wasn't kidding when they talked about how bloodydamn GOOD the fight scenes are. I got spoiled that "Clang! Clang! Clang! Confess!" means something, and I don't even know who is fighting who, but I want to read the whole series just to get to that point because it sounds badass.

But uhhh this series came to me at a rough point in my life. It was hard to read some parts of it and I took a few breaks. Yeah, I read the whole thing in 2 weeks, but also just to fill myself with some sort of closure when I felt sad. I felt good coming out of it, but during? UHHHHHH-

These disorganized thoughts are getting messy, if you have any questions about specific things, comment them for me to answer. I might. 🥰

Story: 7/10, just set up but good set up

Characters: 9/10, bloodydamn good, almost all of them. I can tell, despite my initial disappointment for some of them since I know this is a book SERIES, so we will be seeing more of them soon.

Personal Enjoyment: ????/10, felt too sad at some points, absolutely adored this book in others.

Quality: 9/10, amazing writing, I want to buy all the books JUST to support Pierce Brown, I'm not even sure if I will be reading them, I just feel like throwing money at him.

Overall Score: 8/10, scared to continue, but damn I want to continue.