#ALSO. fuck. wait I forgot hold on. fuck.

[plutonious]

she's actually so swag. I also found out I'm a BIG fan of her color pallet. irida ily

[citruslllad]

friends who beat the shit out of cops together

[motheatenscarf]

..... how many emet-selch pins do you have

.... a few

[front-facing-pokemon]

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[sucktacular]

Who up spending all day not drinking liquids and then wondering why they have a head ache and feel like a husk?

[dayurno]

"Exes Kandriel edition" im so curious as to what you mean by that bc I have seen all kinds of variations of "past relationship one ship new relationship another ship" like past andriel now kevineil or whatever but I don't think I've see a single fic where all 3 of them were together and then broke up??? I want to know what your brain is thinking pls share

HEHE WELL honestly the way i thought of it was kind of just kandreil being a thing throughout college/kevins last year but after his graduation he kind of goes m.i.a, in my heart i think about kevin moving out of the states to play exy a lot and i think itd actually be relevant and even important to him to be able to see the world beyond the nest......... but it also means things like different timezones, new people and new languages, an entire new life really that andreil of course do not agree with... i dont think they necessarily part on bad terms but andrew and neil very much dont want him to move away. in the end kevin (midnight rain plays softly in the background) wants the world in more ways than just a small apartment somewhere in denver and two cats you know....

so the fic would be really kevins return to the us a decade later, having broken off things with andreil but still loving them dearly....... right person wrong time kind of thing really.... and then theres andreil who never really stopped waiting for kevin, never stopped thinking about him, but accepted (after a lot of therapy mind you) that theres nothing you can Do when someone wants to/has to leave. i dont think thered even be a need to Rebuild their relationship per se because its always been there!!! andreil still have his stupid books in their apartment and kevins old jackets in their closet... i think theyd even come to pick him up at the airport totally uninvited too... BASICALLY JUST. ahhh you know... getting older and different but still yourself, being waited for when you thought your absence meant nothing, that kind of thing.... would kevin have stayed if he knew how much his absence would hurt them? would they have been as adamant about him staying if they had the insight of older men who know kevins ambitions are just as important as their own?

SO... old men yaoi........ i actually have a lot of thoughts about this you can guess by the long long answer haha i really want to write this (< going insane).... theyve loved him for almost ten years, what is one more? THAT KIND OF THING........ gah getting emotional just thinking about it.... kevin dayyyy!!! its you. its always been you

[nomaishuttle]

aughhhhh i wish i had books 2 read i wanna read books so bad rn 🤓 <- i look like this. 2 pictures of me 👇

[slime-crafters]

So I'm building a new house, and I wanted to move all of my dragon bones and scales to my new place for the convenience factor when a pack of vampires attacks me and my unicorn.

I move so I can fast travel to my new house, and there they are, attacking us again. Which makes me think of how they followed us, me weighing down my unicorn because I weigh almost half a ton, them walking behind, because honestly, how does that unicorn manage that??

[4giorno]

yeah no wtf. valk rlly came to save music AGAIN

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

[tecchan]

Fucking duh

There's 6 of you!! Grow some fucking balls you goddamn pussies ajozfiezfiue

[chisungie]

.

[teenagefeeling]

dude. i sniped the last one of these off the popular shelf at the library and i did not realize i was jumping past a line of SEVENTY PEOPLE 🫨🫨🫨

[robobbin]

... I CAN EXPLAIN

*sets this gently in front of yall* some food for the Tou simps.

[kripsybac0n125]

he has at least 90 diseases