#ALSO some dude that i ignored once when he asked me for a cover cause i had a broken toe lmao heart reacted the message thats saying im c

[munsonsprincess11111]

My girls perfect

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: you and Eddie are dating have been for a while. Your a cheerleader he's well... Eddie. So when thr jocks make a comment to try make you feel insecure to piss eddie off, Eddie doesn't let it slide easy.

During the school week you and Eddie sit together ever day but Friday. Whether it's just you two or with hellfire. However Friday was normally basketball day so you was needed being a cheerleader. Friday was also hellfire day which meant Eddie was obviously needed.

He would sit with hellfire. You'd sit with the jocks. It was like you didn't exist to eachother on Friday between 11 am to 8 pm. Neither of you minded ofcourse. You had your own things and lucky they fell on the same day. It had been that way for 2 years.

However something was different about this Friday. Eddie was sat at the hellfire table laughing and messing around. Well and annoying the jocks. But after his usual stand on thr table thing on Friday he always looms to you to se you smirk and give him a sarcastic eye roll. But you looked out of it. Like you didn't want to be there.

You starred at your tray didn't turn to look at Eddie. It's like you wasn't there. Eddie sat back down in his chair frowning and kept glancing over at you. Until you pushed your tray away from you got your bag and walked out of the cafeteria some of the boys saying "oh y/n Common."

Eddie glanced at his friend's who was also starring at the table you was once sat at as was other people in the canteen shocked by you leaving. "Be back." Eddie said standing up walking off. He walked to the table you was sat at and stood at the end of it.

"What do you want freak?" Andy said. Eddie rolled his eyes looking at Andy and Tommy sat next to Jason then to Jason.

"What the fuck did you say to her." Eddie said bluntly starring at the three boys blankly.

"Just said she should be more like Chrissy and carol and focus in her appearance more." Tommy said smirking leaning back in his chair folding his arms over his chest. Eddie nodded and walked back over to hellfire.

"Dude tour just gonna let him say that your way to calm." Gareth said looming at Eddie in disbelief.

"Doug can I borrow your milkshake ill buy you another on Monday or before hellfire." He ignored Gareth asking doug. He nodded and handed it to Eddie who bit thr inside of his mouth thanking him before walking off. He walked around thr table of jocks and cheerleaders as if he was going to walk out of the door.

As Eddie got to the head of the table he threw the milkshake so it went over the three boys not stopping walking. "Maybe you should worry about yours I suppose you've gotta have a big ego to make up for thr rumours about your small cock." Eddie said ruffling Tommy's hair as he walked past him wiping his milkshake covered hand on Jason's back.

"Fucking freak." Tommy said standing up. Eddie took that as he had to run. So he did. He ran down the halls with the three boys following him. He went left and as he went down the hall he saw you walking. He slowed down as he approached you.

"Hey baby." Eddie said as he stopped next to you. You smiled up at him. "Here lemme take those." HE said taking the two books you was holding and your bag. He put thr books inside and slung it over his shoulder holding you into his side. "Don't listen to em ok? There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with you. Babe some of them girls look like they haven't eaten for days cause they listen to them dicks. Your healthy. You got a beautiful face, amazing personality and a banging body." Eddie said holding you closer.

"Banging... Jesus Eddie." You laugh slightly.

"I'm serious want me to prove your perfect the way you are and there's nothing wrong with your weight or body?" Eddie askes stopping you both. You nod skeptically. Eddie wraps his arms around your waist picks you up and spins with you.

He puts you down after a moment and your both laughing. That's what he wanted to see. He wrapped his arms around you hugging you and you did the same. "See I can even touch my other arm don't listen to em." Eddie smirking kissing your cheek.

"I love you so much you fucking weirdo." You giggled kissing Eddie.

"I love you so much to you fucking freak." Eddie smirked back.

"Love how you went from saying how perfect I am to calling me a freak babe." You laughed pushing Eddie shoulder.

"Please we've been over this there is nothing wrong with being a lil freaky sweets." HE sid pulling you back into him.

Before you could answer you heard Tommy, and and jason at the end of the hall shouting Eddie name.

"What are they covered in?" You ask.

"Milkshake." Eddie smirks.

"What why?"

"CAUSE no one fucks with my girl and gets away with it... yeah we may need to run." Eddie says grabbing your hand and running down the hall with you.

Moments later you reach the van which luckily Eddie never locks he swings the passenger door open for you then runs around to the drivers side getting. You get in yourself and slam the door pushing the lock down Eddie doing the same the starting the van up and driving out of thr school faster then anyone should.

You look in thr mirror to see the three boys stood looking pissed. Then over to Eddie who's lighting a cigarette. "I'm not going to cheer tonight they'll be fine without me." You say leaning back in the chair.

"Yeah? Come watch hellfire could be fun babe." Eddie says exhaling the smoke. You nod smiling at him.

"Besides the boys think it's funny when your there cause apparently you make me go all stupid n they think it's funny when you tell me to stop being mean to them." Eddie smirks. You laugh and kiss his neck.

"I love you so much." You say kissing the spot again.

"I love you so much too... you know you could always leave a little mark there I mean I for sure wouldn't mind it. Just saying." Eddie said pretending to be serious. As he drives you leave him two hickeys inna heart shape and he smiles.

-

At hellfire that evening the boys notice it and every time Eddie runs a hand over his neck or through his hair the boys have plenty of comments.

"Woah who's the real master ed?"

"Maybe Eddie's curls arent real after all."

Then they notice you have one to you didn't know about.

"I do not have one!" You protest to the boys at the table.

"Yes you do I fucking put it there." Eddie chims in. You shake your head and Eddie kisses under your ear. "Relax there just jealous cause your more perfect then them so you get one." Eddie says kissing you sweetly. You smile and Eddie turns to go back to his campaign but doug then has a memory.

"You still owe me a milkshake!" HE points at Eddie and you laugh taking Eddie's hand in yours.

"What seeing Jason, Andy and Tommy look like they were covered in shit wasn't good enough for you?" Eddie says leaning back in his chair.

"Was for me made me feel better." You laugh

"Look Eddie you may have been getting your revenge for your fantastic girlfriend-"

"Which was totally a lie what they said by the way babe they inly said it cause you date the person they hate most and are hottest on the team." Eddie cuts off doug looking at you earning a smile a squeeze of Eddie's hand.

"Yeah big lie. But. I TAKE MY LUNCH VERH SERIOUSLY!" Doug shouts pointing at Eddie making the others laugh.

"Fuck off doug ill get it to ya Monday." Eddie says kissing you.

-

After the campaign your helping Eddie tidy up when he speaks. "If he ever makes you feel like shit again tell me. Either me or one of thr others will tone em down. N it would only be the others cause I'm running to your rescue." HE says stretching.

"Really bothered you huh babe?" You say walking over to him.

"Well yeah, I get them being mean to me bit they don't need to drag you into it nd try make you feel insecure. Your gorgeous and they just jealous." Eddie says putting his arms around you.

"Thank you." You says nuzzling into his neck.

"Don't thank me for looking after you against them dicks I'll do it everyday I love you."

"Mm yeh. I also meant for letting me wear your hellfire top when I got cold in the campaign n you sitting there with no top on under your jackets but ok." You giggle kissing him.

"Did I look hot." HE laughs.

"SO hot honestly babe would've jumped your bones right then if you wasn't in the middle of a campaign." You say kissing him.

"Guess I'll have to keep thr jackets on when we get back to the trailer." HE wiggles his eyebrows.

"Your so weird."

"You love me."

"Mmm I do.... let go of my ass."

"Never." HE laughs squeezing it before letting go.

"I knew that conversation was a bit to serious." You say picking up his notebook.

He nods kissing you sweetly.

No matter what anyone said you knew deep down there was nothing wrong with you and of it took you a moment to remember you'd always have Eddie to remind you. As he held you and kissed you you both pulled away resting your foreheads together.

"You still owe doug his milkshake."

"OH fuck off." Eddie laughs kissing you again.

[kissingrhi]

oh shit bro!!! ok! ahh if you have time and you would like to, would you have anything at all in the realm of hurt/comfort for lalo and/or nacho? ngl im down in the pits and ur writing is like a grilled cheese sandwhich on a cold rainy day, its amazing.

idk, maybe the reader is kind of going through it mentally and hella withdraws from everyone which causes conflict bc ahhh cartel work or something (idk man i dont deal drugs) and so The Boys go and check up on u bc "dude did you die or something?" (bc cartel stuff yknow?) and YOURE like "no i didnt die im just vibing bro but the vibes are tainted and gross" and theyre like "cool lets fix that." yknow? idk man the world is your oyster, i trust you. go nuts. but only if you would like to and have the time, i dont wanna pressure you to do anything homie :,) i hope u have a good day.

by far the cutest ask i have ever been sent. i'm sobbing. ily. and i am a WHORE. for hurt/comfort. you just get me!

cw: this gets kind of heavy at parts! maybe releasing something subconsciously with this man idfk. some of talk of depression, anxiety, stuff of that nature. enjoy!!

you legitimately wanted to disappear. forever.

your brain was constantly scrambled, erratic, and loud. you thought of everything and remembered nothing 99.9% of the time. what you did remember was nothing short of miserable reminders of what got you to where you were. who you were. what you'd done.

the shaking of your desperate hands and shuttered breathing of your lungs were nothing compared to the mind-numbing, seemingly endless spew of unfortunate findings in the barren wasteland that was your brain.

you hadn't come into work in 3 days. it had been 3 days since you'd step foot onto the tiled floor of el michoacáno. 3 days since you'd showered. 3 days since you'd moved, besides the awkward shifting during the freezing cold in the middle of the night, when you attempted to sleep. you were miserable, and the worst part was you couldn't decipher why.

it had also been 3 days since you'd checked your phone. oblivious to the countless amount of mixed calls from some of the only contacts you had: nacho and lalo. when you finally made it to reaching your phone, shoved in the drawer of your nightstand, your eyes widened. you ruined something again.

the texts varied from

L: ¿dónde diablos estás?

N: lalo me está molestando.

to

N: hate to say it, but i miss you

L: come back pls

you felt terrible, throwing your phone back to its place with a groan, hiding under the covers like you could escape the tenderness of missing your coworkers. more specifically, your friends.

all you could try to focus on was the gentle beating of your heart, remembering the time that nacho calmed you down the first time you had a panic attack in front of him after nearly dying. his hands were ice cold against your hot cheeks, pulling the hands that were hopelessly wiping away the streaming tears all the way down to your chest.

"el corazón. no cesará. no te dejaré tampoco."

you can still recall the pattern of his slow heart that you heard while you cried against his chest.

you weren't sure how long it was until you felt a change in the air. minutes, hours, days? time was moving irrationally slow and fast all at once. you were still blankly lying against your bed, buried under your blankets. nacho felt like he was at your wake.

you were zoned out, eyes only focusing when the two men you were worried about had seemingly teleported in front of your bed. instead of dropping a sarcastic, self-deprecating joke (like you usually do), you merely turned to the other side with a dramatic sigh.

a pair of rough fingers jumped in front of your line of vision, snapping rambunctiously.

"hey, hey! what the hell, mi amigo!?" his tone was dripping with comedy. "you have no right to ignore either of us. we've been so good to you."

you knew it was lalo quickly, thanks to the delicious grandiose of his gravely voice.

you finally turned around, hearing your bones crack as you pushed yourself up to lay against your bedpost. nacho and lalo drank in your disheveled state, agitation on their faces quietly fading into a look you knew all too well: concern. you glimpsed down at nacho's hand, rubbing his thumb over something he was obviously nervous about before shoving it in his pocket.

"i-" you started, blood suddenly running cold at the what you thought to be shameful eyes staring right at you. for some reason, a lump that had been building for what felt like years finally exploded in the back of your throat, a quick tear that you attempted to wipe away slipping down your cheek, going to push away nacho's anxious hand that reached for your back.

"what? you what?" lalo's posture had completely changed, eyes softening.

the tears were flowing fearlessly now, your eyes still dim and lifeless. you seemed to be fading away, in real time. it was melancholy.

"i am not-" you swallowed, putting a hand to your heart subconsciously.

"i am not ignoring you guys." you said firmly, staring lalo right in the eyes with your stoic, but unconvincing gaze.

the two exchanged looks at each other, nacho biting the inside of his cheek, lalo scratching the back of his neck. they had no idea what to do. they killed people for a living! even if you three weren't the most fond of each other at times, you obviously cared about each other.

"i'm just adjusting. i've got a lot going on. needed some rest." you explained, pressing your fingers together so hard that when you pulled them apart, the skin eased open slowly.

"haha." you were unconvincing, and unrelenting in how much you swore that everything was just fine.

lalo was already strutting his way into the kitchen, starting on something he knew you'd like: chicken noodle soup. when you went to scold him for barging in your home, he just pressed a gentle kiss on your head, making your eyes widen because that is so unlike him.

while lalo got to work in the kitchen, nacho cautiously sat at the end of your bed. when you went to talk, still tearful and messy, nacho politely put a hand up.

"you don't have to explain yourself all the time, you know?" he asked, genuine curiosity brewing in his deep eyes.

"i mean, especially not to me or him." he nodded towards the kitchen, past your doorway. "do you see how we have spent our lives?" he asked, pressing a tickling finger into your side, grinning ear to ear when you smiled the tiniest bit.

"listen. i know how it feels." he started, eyes searching around the floor to try and put what he wanted to say politely, into terms he knew wouldn't blossom into spouts of dangerous overthinking in your unpleasantly fragile mind. he looked just about as sad as you.

"i know what it feels like to have no one understand." he finally looked up at you, hands gently pressing into your shoulders. his eyes were almost watering. maybe you were hallucinating.

you started to cry more, and his frown grew.

"please, please do not cry." he started.

"estás muy cerca de romperme el corazón." was said under his breath. mumbled like an unforgivable sin at the altar.

while his hands wiped away at your tears, he just silently told you, "we care about you. we all care about each other. we have to."

his touches that were so comfortable against your tense body led you to your bathtub, and before you knew it he was sitting on the edge of your toilet and rubbing body wash against your spine. his grimace grew at your sorrowful, hunched figure.

"please do not cry." was uttered again, like you crying would shatter his world just as much as yours.

as soon as you were dressed in fresh clothes, and your messy hair was neatly pulled away from your face, nacho brought you back to your newly cleaned bed.

you felt like your only lifeline was his warmth surrounding what felt like the arctic that you had embedded yourself in.

lalo invited himself back in, pressing a beautiful tray of chicken noodle soup onto your lap, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders with an airy sense of comedy (he pretended like the job was a massive issue to him, groaning each time he had to move, watching you deeply to see you laugh).

you just stared up at both of them, like you had never experienced this kind of care before.

if you were being honest with yourself, you definitely hadn't.

"well?" lalo started, looking right back at you. "eat." he said, almost in a way that a mother does to their child. he scolded you, but in the way that you know had the purest and most loving intentions.

when you did, you noticed the sharp, grainy pain in your throat was instantly washed away. you couldn't stop. your nutrient-deprived body scarfed down the meal, chugging the glass of water he added on the side.

"thank you guys." was all you said, looking away with a gentle smile on your face.

"are you kidding me? of course!" lalo laughed. "you just need to come coddle me every time i get sick. deal?" he asked, rubbing your head.

after hours of hugs and distracting conversations, the pair decided you were well enough to leave for the night.

"get lots of rest, okay? don't need you to lose any focus at work." lalo pointed a demanding finger at you, chest raised like he was the king of the world. "be safe."

you nodded, your head leaning into your pillow with a grin. nacho situated himself in front of you once more, reaching into his pocket. he made his way out while you read the tiny slip of battered paper.

you noticed a gorgeous blue, dried flower pressed against the right edge. in his messy handwriting you could dechiper:

"el corazón. no cesará. no te dejaré tampoco."

[what-if-nct]

hiiii today's reminder is i watched all the nct episodes of Jonathon (i do not know his full name but that's all they call him so idk) and fuck i forgot how funny dream are. chenle is my little dude, i want to be the kind of besties with him where we talk once a month but we know everything about everything and have very strong opinions. i wanna get tipsy and gossip with him and talk shit about everyone i know

Hiii, I have only seen clips of them here and there I actually haven't watched any kpop content except Riize in the haunted house there was screaming and running, my attention span has been horrible lately so certain things lose me. I literally just went to search for the episode you're talking about then I got a random thought and began to move my whole room around and i realized i moved my bed far from any outlets so i ordered a 6ft charger instead of moving my bed again. Now I'm listening to country music instead. The only thing I can watch longer than 10 minutes is Trisha Paytas podcast cause she talks fast and jumps all over the place with subjects it's the perfect pace to me. so anything with subtitles, my brain can't do it. That was so long winded for an unnecessary statement but I do know dreamies are just a bunch of ridiculous little guys. Chenle always gets so passionate in conversations especially their silly debates. Him and Jaemin get so enthralled and little stressed. But also they're just silly and goofy. And like a sleepover with them would be so fun. I would also love to see just Wayv and Dream together, I don't think we've seen just all of dream and all of wayv together just fooling around. I want that so much.

Random daily side note, is there something going on with the planets because random men from my past have been popping up there's some I haven't spoken to in months to years!! They've randomly popped up asking if I'm single, what's going on? Can they see me? Like I just ignore it at this point there might be one guy I would hear out if he reached out but all the others ugh. Why are they here. My period is on the horizon so I might just be extra irritated plus I only want to eat cashews so I bought a pound and that is indeed all I've been eating. Also Wonbin finally happened upon me, seeing him screaming for his life made me see him differently. I literally just said not long ago I love pathetic men, If a guy shows a little patheticness, he got me. Like the only guy from my past id give another chance, laid on my chest for an hour while I ran my fingers through his hair and was so sweet and nervous and when he said "dang it" when he missed a turn and was excited he ended up covered in glitter by me, oh come to me you lanky long haired pathetic man. There's another thing that happened but I shouldn't say it in public but he's the only one I'd even consider meeting up with again only him. Just like hyunjin, Wonbin screaming in the haunted house unlocked my feelings for him.

[membermentmania]

I've decided everything's just getting a day now instead of individual sessions. Enjoy August 25th.

“I am not fucking over Jack knowing Desmond! Fucking seriously!” 

“I’m telling you guys, they’re dead,” Stan said flatly. 

“Have to agree,” Craig noted. 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you.” 

“Hear me out!” Stan tried. 

“I’ve been hearing you out,” Craig responded. 

“No, they’re not fucking dead! That’s stupid!” Kyle responded. 

“HOW ELSE WOULD DESMOND BE THERE?!” he defended as though his life were on the line. 

“OBVIOUSLY OTHER PEOPLE WERE THERE BEFORE OUR MAIN CAST! DESMOND COULD’VE JUST GOTTEN THERE EARLIER!” 

A giggle bubbled out of me. “I also think that’s stupid. There’s plenty of variables that could’ve led Desmond to getting there.” 

“Oh fuuuuuuuck you,” Cartman said, narrowing his eyes at me. “They’re definitely fucking dead.” 

“I feel like it’s too obvious,” Kevin chimed in. “They’re not dead.” 

“Okay. Let’s make this fun,” Bebe said, smiling wickedly. We all looked over at her. She stood up, clasping her hands together. “Show of hands. Who thinks they’re all dead?” I pushed Craig’s arm slightly when he raised his. He laughed quietly, nudging me back. Clyde’s hand shot up. Along with Stan’s, Cartman’s, Dovakien’s, Red’s, and Henrietta’s. “Care to make a wager?” Everyone gave her some sort of indication that they were on board. 

“Speak your mind, princess,” Cartman responded. 

“Everyone kick in twenty. Winning team doubles their money.” 

“But there’s six v eight here,” Kyle protested. 

“Frankly, I’d be willing to turn traitor if you can give me a solid convincing,” Nichole announced brightly.  

“Okay,” Stan stood up, clapping his hands together. “Leo can hear me just fine?” 

“I can!” 

“You’re convincing Nichole not me!” he rebutted from his spot on facetime. 

“Well if I’m going to exhaust my brain making a case, I need everyone to witness it!” 

“Do you ever get tired of being stupid?” Cartman asked. 

“What do you  want to do it?” 

“Fuck no!” 

“Okay. Wait. I want Cartman to break out the whiteboard and do it,” Nichole noted. 

Cartman let out a groan. “Fucking seriously?” 

“I’m sorry, but I would also love to see that,” Kyle said with a snicker. 

“Dude, no!” I narrowed my eyes at Cartman. “Don’t you dare say it.” 

“I thought I was your favorite!” I shot back. 

“No. Bebe’s my favorite.” 

“Besides Bebe.” 

Craig laughed quietly next to me. “Come on. Let Stan show off his brain.” He slowly turned around. “You have one, right?” 

“Oh my god, fuck off. I will throw you under the bus right now.” 

Cartman scoffed. “Tolkien doesn’t even have a whiteboard!” I put a hand up, covering my mouth. Tolkien shot him a shiteating grin. “You don’t.” 

“You love a performance, don’t you?” he countered. 

Cartman threw his hands up. “Get out the fucking whiteboard why don’t you?” 

Tolkien jumped up from his chair and ran into the other room before wheeling out the whiteboard like he’d been waiting for this moment since he’d first actually spoken to Cartman. There were cheers throughout the room, ready to see our greatest showman at work. He huffed, trying to conceal a laugh. “Okay, kids. Pay attention. I’m going through this once.” Kenny saluted at him and we all quieted down to small spurts of whispers as he got started. At the very top, he wrote in big red letters ‘The Castways Are DEAD!!!,’ underlining dead three times. “Give me a sec. I’m doing sections.” 

“LET’S FUCKING GOOOO!” Clyde yelled. 

We watched as he made five sections, each in their own color. ‘The Unexplained’ got purple. I did not miss the way he shot a pointed look at Dova. ‘Psychological Elements’ got a light blue. I bit back a laugh as he made his way down ‘Narrative Elements’ in orange and the marker started to die. “Fuck you,” he muttered, causing an erruption of laughter from the group. He spun around. “Shut up! I’m almost done!” He ignored our giggles, ‘Isolation’ getting the spot as bright pink. And finally, the ‘Atmosphere + Setting’ column got lime green. 

He spun back around, clapping his hands together. “Okay, before we start,” he said happily. “Fuck each and every single one of you.” 

“WE LOVE YOU TOO!” 

He covered his mouth, suppressing a laugh before rolling his eyes. I leaned into Craig, trying to keep my laughs to a minimum. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, bits of butterflies screaming at me. I ignored them, practically melting into his side. I planned on enjoying every minute of this. 

“I’m starting. If you have questions, raise your hand or I’m throwing a marker at you.” 

“SUNSHINE!” 

“God, I fucking hate you guys,” he muttered. “Okay! To start with the unexplained. We of course have the smoke monster. There has been no indication of the paranormal in the flashbacks we’ve seen so far. So pray tell, where the fuck would such a thing come from? We can’t. Because they are obviously dead. So they get monsters. Because they’re probably in Hell. Cause they’re a bunch of godless heathens.” The group sputtered into giggles and Kenny raised a shaky hand. “Yes, poorboy?” 

“I been to hell. Don’t look like that.” 

“And I’m the Queen of England. Fuck off.” 

More giggles bubbled out of him. “Kay. Cool. Continue then.” 

“The hatch is literally suspicious as fuck. It doesn’t make any sense. Like, seriously. You’re gonna tell me just about everything on that island is analog but there’s just a steel obviously manmade hatch? No. Fuck you.” 

There was a neutral acknowledgement from us, not wanting to actually interject as his tangent fully geared up. He started to pace slightly, smacking his dry erase marker at the very large letters ‘POLAR BEAR’. ‘Polar’ was specifically underlined three times. “POLAR BEARS. Where do they belong, pray tell?” 

Stan raised his hand, happily indulging in this. Cartman pointed at him with a delighted smile. “THE FUCKING ARCTIC!” 

“Yesss, Stannyboy. Why would they be in a tropical environment? That’s just not how it works. Moving on to our next column.” 

“What about your last point?” Bebe asked with a snicker. 

Cartman narrowed his eyes on her before carefully picking up one of the colors he hadn’t used and ever so gently tossing it at her. She flipped him off when it lightly collided with her forehead. “I’m circling back. Raise your hand.” 

“Fuck off.” 

He laughed quietly. “Moving onto the psychological nature of this, Jack is hallucinating. He’s been having hallucinations of his dad. That is confirmed. The entire element of that, along with,” he paused, smacking the marker in his hand against the next point, “behavior from the other characters including but not limited to visions, contributes to an overall atmosphere that threatens to blur the lines between reality and that is simply not. Because the island is simply not. Because they are dead.” 

I raised my hand and he nodded. “Thank you. But wouldn’t things like hallucinations very much so be more of a human thing? Like, if they’re dead, okay, fine. Say they’re in hell. But the whole thing about that is that it doesn't sit right with me. Like, if you’re dead, technically you’re shedding that human part of you. Shedding your humanity would be to also shed some of the most human parts of us, like delusions and hallucinations, no?” 

Kenny started clapping. “FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.” 

“Close enough,” I responded with a giggle. “Lil’ drunk.”

“NO, GORGEOUS!” Kenny rebutted.  

“I’ll give you that, Tweeky dearest. But I think that only counts if they know they’re dead. They would clearly not know they were dead in this context.” 

Craig nodded slightly against me. “Traitor,” I muttered. 

A quiet laugh escaped him. “Mhm.” 

“Alright. I’m going forward. Let’s talk about some of our thematic elements. The use of flashbacks in this is near perpetually highlighting unresolved issues, dare I say, unfinished business. Along with guilt, redemption, and purgatory. Maybe they’re not in hell, but purgatory. Either way, they’re fuckin’ dead.” 

His pacing started up again, causing quiet giggles from the group as he slowly got back into his groove. 

“The radio transmission just doesn’t fucking do it for me. It’s been on repeat for how many years?” 

Wendy raised her hand politely, smiling when he shot out a hand to her with excitement. “Bout seventeen years.” 

“Thank you, Wends.”

She laughed, nodding at him to continue. “From a technological standpoint, that just doesn’t sit well with me. Like I get that shit can last that long, but that would land them starting it the late 80’s. I just don’t see something like that actually lasting that long. Like, sure it can happen, but let’s turn off our suspense of disbelief for, like, five minutes. I know with consumerism and everything, shit’s made to break now, which is it’s own entirely different conversation, but still. It’s not a strong point, but it adds up to the plausible deniability that I need to convince you.” Nichole laughed when he made a lame gesture at her. 

“Kay, fair,” she relented. 

“So let's move onto our isolation, or betterly titled as I’m actually thinking about it, lack of external validation. We have a near full lack of external validation here. The farthest we got to this is ‘other islanders.’” He used finger quotes here. “Which could just as easily be other damned souls or hellspawn with intent to torture them. We’ve all seen The Good Place.” Clyde raised a hand. “Yes, Clyde?” 

“I haven’t seen The Good Place,” he admitted. 

“YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE GOOD PLACE?!” So many of us yelled that, I wasn’t even sure who it came from. I put a hand over my mouth, trying to keep my laughs to a minimum. 

“Okay, that is a cardinal sin, honestly, but we’ll circle back. The point is, there is no sign of rescue efforts or contact from the outside world, only reinforcing the idea that they are totally cut off from it. And there is just about nothing from the outside world period in the current time period. There’s no sign that directly confirms that they’re alive. Sure, they could quite literally just be on an uncharted island, but how many of those did we really have in the early 2000’s?” 

Kyle raised his hand, giggle bubbling out when Cartman gestured at him, ready to hear what he had to say. “Somewhere between ten and thirty.” 

“Okay. Okay, I can give you that. But still, an argument is to be made. How many of those are of this caliber? And with that hell loop of a radio broadcast? There was no way they were so completely off course that they’d gone past wherever humanity’s traveled so completely that no boat or passerby caught up on that. That doesn’t exactly add up.” 

Kyle made a face of acknowledgement, nodding slightly. I think it was more for the sake of the genuine entertainment from The Cartman Show we were getting. 

“And now we have one last thing before I circle back to the elephant in the room.” 

“You’re not in Lost,” Kevin deadpanned. The group started howling with laughter. 

“IT IS MY BIRTHDAY, MAY I REMIND!” 

“SORRY!” Kevin wheezed out. 

“TWEEK ALREADY BITCHED ME OUT! TWICE! I’M NOT DOING IT!” he yelled through his own laughter. 

Kevin waved a hand violently. “You left yourself open! I’m sorry!”

Something stirred in my stomach. Genuine happiness. Whenever Kevin or Henrietta opened up a bit like this, actually just giving into the insanity of the group, it made me so unbelievably happy. They belonged, but these moments always made me feel like they knew they belonged. It was truly special. 

As the group calmed down, Cartman went to his last section. “Okay, so,” a small laugh cut him off. “‘Scuse me. Atmospheric and setting elements. The opening scene is wild. It kicks the show off with this entire vibe of disorientation, much like death has been shown to cause thematically throughout just about everything. Recently dead people notoriously do not even realize they’re dead in media. I personally think it’s kinda lazy and I hate it, but when traumatic deaths are in place, it’s totally fair. Dying in a plane crash must be traumatic as fuck.” 

“True!” Kenny chimed in. 

My eyes widened as I shot him a look. He covered his mouth, laughing before mouthing ‘not me.’  I shook my head, more giggles bubbling out as Cartman continued. 

“The general weirdness of the island, in an overall setting, screams that it is not part of the human world, but something else entirely. And with that, I’m circling back to my last thing.” He took a deep breath before smacking his marker at the large bold letters ‘FUCKING DESMOND!!!’ “FUCKING DESMOND IS THERE! JACK KNOWS DESMOND! I HATE IT! THAT IS TOO MUCH OF A COINCIDENCE!” 

“FUCKING DESMOND!!” The clamor came from Stan, Clyde, and Dovakien. I fully collapsed into laughs, not able to hold it in anymore. 

“I don’t believe in coincidences,” Craig stated simply.

“EXACTLY!” Cartman responded, eyes lighting up. He looked at Nichole, putting his hand out. “And that is exactly why I think you should turn traitor.” 

She got up, trying to hold in her laughs as she stepped forward towards him. Stan, Clyde, Dova, and Red started to chant ‘one of us,’ quickly growing in volume as laughs rang out. I was wiping at my face as tears poured out. She took his hand, shaking it with exaggeration. “Happy to be a traitor.” 

-

Singing happy birthday to Cartman after surprising him with a cake had to be one of the most wild things I’d experienced. The entire house sang happy birthday to Tolkien at some point during his party, but this was just our group. Clyde screamed the entire time. Kenny hit a note so high Stan had to pause and yell at him for ‘shattering his eardrums’. 

It was pure insanity. Cartman didn’t immediately blow out his candles though. He just looked at us all, trying to suppress a smile as he shook his head. 

“I love you guys so much.” 

Sky Full of Stars + 

“Okay, I’m so fucking confused,” Christophe breathed out. 

I shrugged, despite no one being around to see it. “What part specifically? Cause me too.” 

“So you’re best friends.” 

“Yes.” 

“And you love him.” 

“Yes.” 

“And he loves you.” 

“Unconfirmed.” 

He scoffed. “He loves you. Shut up.” The butterflies in my stomach screamed at me. I flopped back down on my back, sighing. “And you’re fake dating.” 

“Yes.” 

He let out a sound of frustration. “But you’re going on real dates.” 

“Yes, that is correct.” 

“Tweek. What the fuck.” 

“We’re trying to take it slow!” 

“You’re doing a shit job at it.” 

“I KNOW!”

  “So then why bother?” 

“I don’t-” I huffed quietly. “We were in a bad place for a really long time. You know that. Just snapping totally in the opposite direction isn’t healthy. There’s nothing wrong with not just nose diving into it.” 

He let out a quiet hum. “Are you afraid?” 

“I-” I paused. “Maybe?”

“Of?”

“I don’t know! Like, if we don’t work out, this’ll shatter our friendship completely? Or that he’ll have me and realize he doesn’t want me? Or that it’ll get too real and I won’t be able to handle it? I don’t fucking know. I forgave him for everything and I meant it. And I love him. I mean that. But there are so many things.” 

Another hum graced my ears. “Why do you find such difficulty in reaching for the things you want?” 

I felt a small pit in my stomach. “That’s a big question.” 

“It’s an important question.” 

“Maybe.” 

“It is.” 

My phone buzzed three times in rapid succession. “Craig’s here. I gotta go.” 

“Fucking-Tweek! Use your big beautiful brain when it matters. Idiot. Je t’aime.” 

A quiet laugh escaped me. “ Later. Je t’aime.” I hung up to check my phone. Craig texted me that he was outside and I quickly pulled myself together before walking downstairs and grabbing my bag. When I walked outside he greeted me with a tight hug. 

“Hi Tweek.” 

“Hi,” I responded, trying not to absolutely melt against him. 

He let go of me, lighting a cigarette before I could even register it. “Y’know deadlines are coming up soon right?” 

I nearly sputtered. “Schedule deadlines?” 

“Yeah. I saw the email this morning, so if you have anything you’re being picky about,” he nudged me, “you might want to start your tirade email to Charles soon.”

I ran a hand through my hair. “Summer literally just started!” 

“I skimmed it. They’re doing it early because the freshman class is bigger or some shit.” He laughed quietly. “I take it you are being fussy this year?” he teased. 

“I’m always fussy!” 

Craig threw the blanket under his arm on the ground with practiced ease. “Game it out.” 

“I mean, really it’s just science. My options are AP bio or physics. I’m still on the fence though. I thought we had more time! I don’t want to just get shoved into a class.” 

He sat down and I followed. He didn’t bother to look as he started pulling stuff out of his bag. “I thought there’d be no question about bio.” 

“I love bio. But I also feel like minimal physics knowledge when I know I’m gonna have to take it in college is so stupid. Like, that’s definitely a bad call, right?” 

“Then take physics with me.” 

I felt my nose twitch. “The fact that they made you wait until senior year to take physics is beyond me.” 

He shrugged. “No big deal. I’m pretty much guaranteed an A because they made me wait.” 

I laughed. “But I don’t get physics. That’s my one bad one.” 

“Okay. We’ll trade. I still need bio knowledge for college that I just don’t have.” 

A small smile crossed my face. “Really?” 

He started pouring cherry vodka in two plastic cups. I pulled my tiny jug of lemonade out of my bag, absentmindedly topping them off. “Yeah.”

I took a sip, wincing slightly. “You have Stan pours, you know that?” 

He laughed. “So like a tame version of the elusive gay bar pour?” 

“I’m telling you, they exist!” 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he responded, small smile still there. Huh. He smiles so much now. Without warning, I aggressively tapped my plastic cup to his. “Really?” he groaned. 

“Yup!” I downed my drink as fast as I could. 

“I hate you,” he muttered, laughing quietly. 

I playfully rolled my eyes as I laid back, taking in the view above us. “Tell me something about physics.” 

He let out a quiet hum. “Everything just kinda moves together to make music.” I didn’t have to look to know that beautiful little glimmer was bright in his eyes. I sat with it for a while as we lapsed into comfortable quiet. “Tell me something about bio.” I discreetly reached into my pocket, glancing over. His eyes were up. I lit a cigarette causing him to look over with a chuckle. “Sneaky,” he muttered. 

I playfully rolled my eyes before passing it over. “Everything’s interconnected,” I murmured. “It’s all just part of the ever-evolving love letter that is the diversity of life.” 

When I accepted our cigarette, it came with a question. “Which one’s your favorite?” 

“Story-wise or aesthetically?” 

“I’ll take either.” 

“Virgo.” 

He laughed quietly. “Why?” 

“I like the version of the story you told me. About them having each other for four months.” 

“

“Are you happy?” 

He laughed quietly. “That’s a question.” I glanced over to see his eyes still up, small smile still there. He let out a little contemplative hum. “The past few weeks a lotta shit’s happened. And I think a lot of things kinda ended, in a lot of ways. Stuff that needed to end, I guess. And a lotta things started. And I think that was also something I needed, y’know. Like I didn’t know it. I was fine where I was, I guess. Like, before. But I also wasn’t good. I was really shut down.” Another quiet laugh bubbled out. “I’d argue the closet was not kind to either of us.”

 I nodded, despite neither of us looking at each other. I didn’t want to interrupt. Whenever he actually spoke like this, I never felt like I could. Not because it would bother him, but because everything he had to say felt so important and I just wanted to listen. 

“I think a lot of things that needed to come together came together and I just feel like me again, I guess.” I saw his hand travel upwards out of the corner of my eye. I peered over to see a much bigger smile as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m so fucking happy,” he murmured. His eyes trailed over. “You?” 

“I actually don’t think I’ve ever been this happy,” I whispered. “Things were so bad for a while and then just…” I laughed. “What could I have possibly done to deserve this?” 

He reached over, taking my hand gently. He looked down as he brushed his thumb across my knuckles. “I think you deserve the world.” 

I thought I was going to explode, throw up, or die on the spot. But none of that happened. I ignored the surge of butterflies. “I think you deserve the world too.” 

[ilyzuko]

let me be annoying frustrated and grammatically incorrect in the tags

[zero00o0]

Quiet

CW: mcyt g/t, fearplay, horror elements

// Hi! This is a new blog of mine (haven’t been on tumblr in years 💀). I’ve been stalking the mcyt g/t tag for awhile and noticed the tag was kinda dying so I’m making an appearance to fan the flames lol. I hope y’all like this story! Feel free to send asks and whatever lol //

The torch in his hand flickered, the flames dancing on the end of the stick as George gingerly made his way through the cavern he’d found himself lost in. He wasn’t planning on even going into any caves today, the original plan being to find some food to stock up on. But while he was wandering in search of animals, the sight of exposed iron tempted him. One thing led to another, and now the brit was lost. A single torch, some wooden tools, and a single piece of chicken to his name.

The sound of guttural groaning startled him, causing him to whip around and pull out his sword, putting away his torch as a result. When he realized that he covered himself in thick darkness, he scrambled to get out his torch once more. His hands shook fearfully as he looked around for his light source, and his attention was taken away from the horrible, inhuman sounds getting closer, and closer. By the time George found his torch, a green, decaying face appeared with the newfound light and charged at him. It’s dead hands grabbed at him, damaging him instantly. George screamed and tried to back up, but failed to realize that there was no passage to safety behind him, but a long drop down into the heart of the cave, right into a burning pool of lava. Before he could realize this, he lost his balance. George was falling, falling, falling… And as his body finally hit the scorching, agonizing heat of the earth’s hottest liquid, he let out one last scream of plea;

“NOOOO!”

George threw his headset across the room as the “You Died” screen appeared on his computer. He grinded his teeth in annoyance as he tossed his head back and facepalmed. That was his fifth attempt at playing Minecraft Hardcore mode today. The british gamer was determined to keep a world running until he could beat the game, but at this rate it seemed that personal challenge would take him weeks.

As he leaned forward to grab his bottle of water, he could hear footsteps sounding from down the hall. A moment later there was a knock on his door. “George? Dude? Are you good in there?”

George rolled his eyes as he stood from his chair, stretching his arms as he walked to the door to let the familiar voice inside. “Yes, Sapnap. I’m fine. Just annoyed at this stupid game.” He huffed as he met his roommate’s gaze. The American who lived with him scrunched up his face as he pushed past George to enter his room. “Uuh.. ok. Yeah, come on in I guess.” He said sarcastically, stifling an annoyed groan.

Sapnap ignored George as he walked up to the Brit’s desk, his hands on his hips as he looked around at the cluttered, trash filled space. George leaned on his wall by the door, waiting on Sapnap to turn around so he could get the hint that he didn’t want him in his room right now. But the man just shook his head as he dared to pick up a crushed can of Sprite. “How long have you been in here?” Sapnap asked, revulsion dripping from his words. George just scoffed. “Why?” He asked. Sapnap turned around to finally face him.

“Dude, me and Karl moved in with you because we thought it’d be cool to, like, hangout all the time. But as soon as that first week was up it’s like we only see you max twice a week.” George crossed his arms over his chest as he looked away from Sapnap. “What is this? Some intervention?” Sapnap shrugged as he tossed the can into the trash. “Maybe… It’s just.. There’s nothing wrong with liking games, I like them too but… you really need to take a break from your computer.”

George looked at him again. Sapnap also crossed his arms over his chest as the two stood at a standstill. Sapnap was waiting on George to say something, while George was waiting on Sapnap to leave him alone. But alas, Sapnap was a stronger man than him.

George sighed, dropping his arms to his sides. “Ok, fine. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m a little chronically online… whatever. But what else is there to do? It’s autumn, and cold, and the fun things are closed.” Sapnap raised an eyebrow and smiled. George didn’t like when he smiled like that. “What if,” Sapnap crowed, “I told you there was?”

…

…

“A cabin. In the middle of nowhere. In Ohio. THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF SOMETHING FUN TO DO?!?!”

George threw his hands up over his head as Sapnap loaded the last bag into the car. The American laughed as the taller American, Karl, put a comforting hand on George’s back. “Awww come on, George! It’ll be just like camping! But with electricity, and we won’t have to sleep in a tent! And there’s plumbing!” He exclaimed, his face lit up with excitement that even George couldn’t stay mad at. But he could be annoyed with it. The brit crossed his arms as he glared at Sapnap, who was playing with the car keys. The brunette laughed as he shrugged. “Come on, George. It’s only for a week.” He chuckled.

George looked back at their Floridan home with sadness, but Karl’s stupid smile and tight half-hug ultimately had George groaning and walking towards Sapnap’s car. “Fine. But I’m riding shotgun.” He declared. “Nope! Already called it!” Karl giggled as he ran ahead of George and tussled with him for the front seat.

Whatever. Maybe Sapnap and Karl were right. Maybe this little no-internet getaway will be fun.

…

…

Even after about 14 and a half hours, George couldn’t say he was having the time of his life. Save for a few fun singing moments, pit stops, and funny stories between the men, the road trip was very long, and very tiring. Maybe it was a good thing that George sat in the back for most of the trip, because Karl got so carsick that they had to pull over on a busy highway so he could throw up. Twice.

George was napping in the backseat when he felt the car come to a stop. This wouldn’t normally make him stir, but the sound of a car door opening definitely peaked his interest enough for him to open an eye. “Wake up, George. We’re at the check-in.” Karl reached back and shook George’s shoulder gently. The Brit yawned and sat up, shrugging Karl’s hand off of him. ”Do we have to go in?” He groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Well you don’t have to, but I have to pee.” He snickered. George, not wanting to sit alone in the car, followed Karl into the old, antique-looking check-in cabin. As George looked around the outside, he realized just how isolated this place was. The trees were huge, nearly comically so. The branches and leaves were wild and thick, blocking a lot of the setting sun’s light from getting through. He was half asleep while Sapnap and Karl were talking earlier, but he’s pretty sure he heard Sapnap mention the nearest general store was a half hour drive away from their cabin.

The bell above the door let out a ring as Karl and George entered the room. It was smaller than what he expected. The lighting was dim. It didn’t help that all the windows were shut with the curtains pulled tight. There was a rack with magazines and pamphlets on one side of the room, with some seating on the other. The check-in desk was right in the middle. An elderly lady sat behind it, talking with Sapnap. She couldn’t have been younger than 70. “Hi, ma’am,” Karl began, “I was just looking for-“

“For the bathroom?” She sent him a knowing smile. “You wan’ go down that hall, second door on th’ left. I ain’t cleaned it since last week, so I hope you ain’t no germaphobe.” Karl smiled at her, nodding a thanks before heading down the hall. She turned back to Sapnap and handed him a key. “As I was sayin’, This opens th’ front door, back door, and top floor porch. Y’all got the best cabin I can offer ya. I only hope it suits y’all tropical boys nicely.” Sapnap laughed as he jingled the keys in his hand. “Thank you! I’m sure it will.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a wad of money. Rich bastard. “This should be what I owe you.” The lady reached forward and counted the cash with boney fingers. She hummed after a moment and looked up at Sapnap. “You’re off by twenty.” She said. Sapnap frowned and counted the cash on the counter. Cursing under his breath, he excused himself to look for more in the car. The bell above the door ringed as he jogged to the car.

George, not wanting to initiate conversation, turned to the pamphlets and pretended to browse. A still silence filled the room for a few long moments. “Have you ever been campin’?” The lady’s voice suddenly sounded, mildly startling George. He didn’t turn to her as he replied, “No, I haven’t.” He could hear her shift in her chair. “I could tell.” The southern drawl in her voice was both comforting and odd. George stayed quiet.

Suddenly it was as if a large gust of wind came out of no where, and caused the trees from outside to shift. The sound of branches scraping against each other and leaves rustling was a loud juxtaposition to the calm quietness a mere moment before. It wouldn’t have been strange, if it weren’t for the fact that George couldn’t hear any wind. Just rustling. George turned his head to a closed window and narrowed his eyes. He waited for it to stop but it didn’t. It sounded like it was getting closer, if anything. A weird, sudden wave of overwhelming curiosity came over the brit as he walked closer to the window. The rustling got louder. George reached out to move the curtain, when a cold hand suddenly seized his wrist, and with shocking strength, held him back.

“Don’t.” The lady whispered. When George dared to look at her face he was met with eyes full of terror. The rustling from outside stopped. Her hand shook as she held onto George, her grip never loosening, as if she was holding him for comfort. After a stunned second George pulled his arm away and stood back. “What the heck is wrong with you?” He let out, surprised at his own confrontational tone. The lady just shushed him as she inched closer to the window. “It heard you arrive.”

George felt his heart sink in an impending doom type of feeling. “What are you talking about?” What could be big enough to make those noises? Bears? He didn’t think there were bears in Ohio. And even if there were, would it be such a scary event of one appearing, that the lady who lived here would react in such a way?

Her eyes remained glued to George as the two stood in uncomfortable silence. After a minute, she let out a breath. She must’ve been holding it. When George sighed, he realized he’d been as well.

“It wants me to open th’ curtains.” She stuttered, walking back behind the counter. “It wants to see you.” George’s mouth was open in a silent shock. “Listen to me, boy. No matter how loud the trees talk, no matter how much you feel watched, no matter what you see, you can never, ever go out there alone. Never. Those who go into the woods alone don’t never ever come back home the same. Do you understand me, boy?”

“I-“ George’s voice faltered. “I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, BOY?!” She shouted.

Suddenly, a door opened from down the hall, and Karl walked out. His face was pale, and if George knew Karl, then Karl had definitely been in there puking the whole time. Thanks a lot Karl. The taller man looked at the lady with confusion as he put himself between her and George. A bell ringing caused George to whip his head around to look at the opening door. Deep down he wanted to shout “Close the door!” But, not wanting to seem crazy, he bit his tongue. Sapnap paused at the door, a wad of five dollar bills in his hand as he looked at the scene before him.

“Uhh..I found twenty dollars..”

..

..

“Ok… you’re gonna have to start over. What about trees talking, now?”

George frowned at the back of Sapnap’s head as he growled in frustration. “How many times do I have to explain, guys?! The trees started rustling, so I went to open the window and she went crazy! She said there’s was something out there and it wanted to watch us.” His voice was strained as he tried to explain the best he could, but honestly he was still shaken up from the experience. Despite that, here they were, back in the car and driving towards the cabin.

Sapnap shot Karl a look of worry, but the other just looked back at George with sympathy. “Dude she was… old. She’s just some crazy old lady living alone in the woods. There probably wasn’t even any rustling! I didn’t hear-“ George cut him off. “No, no. You can say she’s crazy all you want but I heard the rustling, and I’m not crazy.” He looked at Sapnap once more. “You were literally outside, Sapnap. Tell me you heard it!” Karl looked at Sapnap now, and the driver seemed to zone out in thought for a moment, before shaking his head and replying, “I heard the wind making the leaves shake, George.” To that George fell back in the seat and stared at the top of the car. “George.. dont let some crazy old woman get you superstitious. We’re here to have fun, remember?” Karl looked back at George, waiting for a reply. “Ok. Yeah.” George muttered, clearing his throat. “You guys are probably right.” He sat up again and Karl smiled at him. The boy turned back around and began playing with the radio as he and Sapnap argued over what station to play.

George looked out the window and tuned them out with his own thoughts. He was being too paranoid. That lady lived alone for probably years, in the middle of what could’ve been the creepiest woods in the country. Of course she was out of her mind. Who wouldn’t be? He shouldn’t dwell on it.

But as the car began to lose its connection to the radio, and the silence of the woods began to pour into the car, and what little light there was left of the sunset faded.. George couldn’t help but think about what she said. The woman never said the thing…whatever it was…wasn’t trying to see them…

But that it was trying to see him.

…

…

“Holy moly! Would you look at the size of that!” Karl beamed as he shoved his head out of the window. George leaned up to look at the cabin through the front window as Sapnap rolled up into the driveway. “I told you guys I got us the best of the best.” Sapnap said, pride swelling in his tone. “Don’t get too cocky, we haven’t even seen the inside.” George said. But he had to admit that it was nice. It was a two-story wooden cabin with beautifully elegant architecture. The bright lights already on from inside the building was a comforting sight, especially since it got dark fast. Sapnap just scoffed playfully as he put the car in park and got out.

They grabbed what bags they could carry and headed inside. Sapnap unlocked the door and led them inside. George gasped and Karl all but screamed. Inside was the largest living room ever with the nicest, renovated kitchen George had seen in awhile, all underneath a beautiful glass skylight, that allowed them to see not only the second floor, but the sky as well. He didn’t expect something this nice to be in a place like this, owned by a woman like that. He could see doors that led to different rooms as well as a staircase that led upstairs to what apparently was the game room. Sapnap’s been talking about playing pool since they started this vacation.

“Alright. How about we get the rest of our bags in and head to bed? It’s late.” Karl suggested, wiping a bead of sweat off of his forehead, mumbling briefly about the heat as he dropped his bags where he stood. The other two agreed and dropped their bags as well, heading back to the car to get the rest of their things.

As they walked back to the car, George took a moment to look out into the dark surroundings. He’d never lived anywhere remote before. His whole life, even back in England, he’d lived in the city. The lights never went dark there, and he liked that. It beat going outside at night to take out the trash and not being able to see anything around you.

As he stared into the seemingly endless blackness, he couldn’t stop his mind from thinking back to the old lady. He wanted to believe she was crazy and move on, he really did, but she just seemed so… scared. All of her windows were shut and covered. Not just one, but all of them. As creepy as the woods were, they were also pleasant to look at in the day. Why would she, someone who chose to live in them, cover all the ways of seeing them unless she was truly terrified of something out there. Something watching her. George’s eyes were looking around. He felt like he didn’t have control over his wandering gaze as he scanned the edge of the trees.

He was about to turn his head away when he saw a heap of shadows rapidly retreat into the trees.

George froze. His heart stopped in his chest and his breath hitched. He fixed on the spot where the darkness was and the trees began, his eyes stuck open, fearful that if they were to close that he’d miss something. He stared at the spot with alarming stillness. What was that? Whatever it was, it was big enough to even overshadow the large trees. George gulped as he could faintly hear something. Shifting. Rustling. Like the wind was lightly blowing the branches once more, but George felt no gusts of air hit his sweaty skin. And yet…

“George! Dude! Come on, there’s only a few more bags in there.” The sound of Sapnap’s voice forced George out of his trance, and he dared to turn his head away from the trees to look at him. Sapnap gave George a questioning gaze. George glanced back at the trees momentarily. Nothing. Not even a sound. He turned back and cleared his throat. “Never been in the woods before.” He said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “It’s weird out here.” He said, forcing a smile. Sapnap and Karl already thought he was freaking out, he didn’t need to make them think it was worse. “Well you can daydream all you want after you get the last bags.” Sapnap walked back inside the cabin, following Karl. George heaved a sigh as he buried his face in his palms. He had to get himself together. He was getting too paranoid. She was just a crazy old lady.

There was nothing out there.

…

…

“Dude! Ow, don’t splash me! That water is hot, what the heck is wrong with you?!” Karl complained as he ducked for cover behind a chair as George and Sapnap laughed, trying to splash the boy with the water from the hot tub. They did invite Karl to get in, but the boy refused, opting to just sit outside and talk with them instead. He claimed it was already warm outside, but the other two called him crazy since it was literally 50°F.

It’s been three days since they arrived at the cabin. And honestly, it has been some of the best fun George has had in awhile. Despite George’s hesitance, they went out and explored the woods the first day. It was so beautiful, that not even George’s paranoia kept him from enjoying himself. And not to mention that they didn’t hear or see anything, and no rustling happened without the wind’s help. The forest was quiet, and tranquil, not even the sounds of birds or other rodents could be heard. The second day they all played pool, which George lost pitifully at. He felt annoyed, but it was all in good fun. They even made chicken (that they brought from home). It was honestly delicious, and at that point George wasn’t even thinking about the occurrence at the check-in cabin. And now here they were, the night of the third day, having the time of their lives on the second floor porch. No rustling, or scary wilderness noises to be heard. Just the comforting laughter of his best friends. George honestly felt embarrassed that he was so worked up the other day. A monster in the woods! How stupid.

“Well, what’d I tell you, George? I told you that we’d have fun!” Sapnap gloated, sitting back in the hot tub, relaxing. George rolled his eyes endearingly. “Fine, okay, you were right. I really needed to get out of my room. Thanks, Sap.” Sapnap over-exaggeratingly placed a hand on his heart and open his mouth in shock. He could hear Karl laughing softly as well. “George? Giving me a compliment? Maybe this place is haunted by the scary woods monster!” George replied by splashing him right in the face. Sapnap laughed as he spit out the water that’d gotten into his mouth.

“How are you guys still in there? It’s so hot out..” George and Sapnap looked over to Karl. He was sitting on one of the stools and was facing the two men in the hot tub. He was wearing a muscle shirt and basketball shorts. And even though the wind wasn’t blowing tonight, it was still freezing. George was about to reply with a snarky response, when Sapnap spoke over him. “Karl? Are you ok?” George glanced at Sapnap before looking back at Karl. Now that he actually took a moment to study his face.. he could tell something was wrong.

Karl’s face was red. And not just a normal red, but red red. Scarlet red. His eyes were drooping, not like he was tired but like he was forcing himself to stay conscious. He was slouching. He looked like he was on the brink of death. “I’m fine, just a little hot.” He said meagerly. At this, Sapnap hopped out of the tub and went to his side, an arm wrapped around him as he felt the boy’s forehead. “Jesus Karl! You’re scorching hot!” He exclaimed. Sapnap moved Karl from the chair, the boy only letting a weak groan of protest but not being able to resist much more by the looks of it. George was out of the tub by then, a towel around his green trunks as he hovered nearby. “George, go get my car keys. I’m taking him to the hospital.” Sapnap ordered. He didn’t have to tell George twice, the Brit was flying down the stairs and to the bar where the car keys were, running outside and starting the car.

Sapnap and Karl walked outside not a minute later, Karl using Sapnap as a support as he walked with shaky knees. As he watched them walk towards the car, he realized that the boy had probably been sick since the start of their trip, and just blamed it on car sickness. George felt a twinge of guilt for not noticing his friend’s true condition.

Sapnap and George helped Karl into the backseat and Sapnap went to get in the driver’s side. As George opened the passenger door, Sapnap stopped him. “No, George. You stay here. We’ll be back before morning.” The Brit froze at his friend’s words. He stared at him dumbfoundedly before shaking his head. “What? No! I’m not staying here alone!” Sapnap’s expression was now that of agitation. “For Christ’s sake, George. I think Karl being a million degrees and nauseous is a little more important than you’re stupid paranoia.” George flinched, and Sapnap’s face softened slightly. “We can’t leave our shit alone out here. Our credit cards are in there and our phones are in there, not to mention our clothes. The hospital is, like, an hour away. We’ll be back by the morning.” His tone was full of reassurance, but was still on edge. George opened his mouth to fire back, but the sound of Karl puking in the back seat shut him up. He shut the passenger door and stood back from the car, his arms crossing over his exposed chest as Sapnap started the car and drove off, leaving George alone.

…

…

The most logical thing to do is sleep until morning. He’ll wake up to the sound of Sapnap’s car pulling into the driveway, and be greeted by him and a better-looking Karl and he’ll laugh at how scared he was to be alone in the cabin.

And yet, here he lay, three hours later, wide awake.

He took a shower, put on his favorite grey sweatpants and his best blue sweatshirt, and immediately scurried to get into bed. He thought as long as the hall light was on, the doors were locked, and his window curtains were drawn, he’d be able to fall gracefully into sleep. Boy, was he wrong.

George turned over on his side, the blanket hugged tightly in his arms, eyes wide open. All three men had their own room, and they slept alone every night, so it wasn’t like sleeping alone was the thing scaring George. He was scared because if he heard something or, God forbid, saw something, there’d be nobody around for him to run to. The closest person to him was the old lady, and the check-in cabin was at least a 45 minute walk, and anything further than that being more than a two hour walk. He inhaled a shaky breath as his heart pounded in his chest. He was hyper focused on listening to anything that sounded from the outdoors. Thankfully, he could hear nothing.

Eventually George decided to sit up in the bed. He leaned over to the night stand and opened the drawer, looking for a book or magazine to keep him occupied. A disappointed look appeared on his face when all he was met with was a dust ball.

The Brit was going to try and go to sleep again, but thirst nagged at his dry mouth. He usually got water before bed, but tonight he was just too distracted.

As he stood up and walked to his bedroom door, he felt his body hesitate to go any further. The curtains in his room were shut, but the rest of the house had their windows wide open and ready to be looked into by any terrifying monster. He again thought of the old lady. All of her windows were blocked off, and she grew frantic at the idea of opening them, even an inch. George’s breath was shaky as he peered out of his door. It led straight to the kitchen so at least he didn’t have to make a scary walk down a dark hallway. He glanced at all the windows in the big room, and was relieved to see no inhuman monstrosities looking back.

Gingerly, George walked out into the kitchen and began looking for the cabinet with the cups. He checked all the windows again before he found a mug and walked over to the sink. He turned on the water and watched his mug fill up.

It was quiet.

The woods should be full of crickets, toads, and other activity but… it was quiet. Like mother nature was holding her breath. The only sound was the faucet running. George felt weird. Like, he was doing something wrong. Or was somewhere wrong. It was uncanny. And now that he thought of it, it felt this way in the woods the other day. Maybe he was subconsciously distracting himself with banter among his friends, but deep down…he knew something was wrong. The woods were quiet. Not in a peaceful way, but in a wrong way. Yesterday they stayed inside, but what George thought was the feeling of agitation from losing pool over and over, was starting to feel like how he felt now. Yeah, he was annoyed. But he was also ever so slightly keep his eye on the large, open windows surrounding them on every side. It was hard to describe what he was feeling. He could beat out it as something primal in him trying to take over his mind and make him run and hide in a little hole.

He realized his cup was overflowed and turned off the sink, drinking the water down as he leaned against the counter.

George’s brows furrowed. It didn’t make sense. He shouldn’t be so worked up, he shouldn’t have cold chills running down his arms and spine. He shouldn’t be working up a cold sweat, his heart shouldn’t be beating this fast, he had no reason to be scared. She was a crazy old woman. George wasn’t superstitious, he didn’t even believe in ghosts. Why, why was he so worked up? It’s like everywhere he went, something was watching him. But how? He checked every single window. The ones by the front door, the ones beside him, the grand ones to behind him. He checked every single window! There was no way, he was being watched.

George took a drink, and froze, the mug sitting by his lips. His heart stopped, his chills went still on his body, and his mind went numb.

He checked every single window, except one.

George’s body shook with anxiety. That primal feeling of raw fear filled his veins as he tilted his chin up.

The ceiling skylight.

He looked up to the glass ceiling and felt his entire existence shatter. He couldn’t conjure a though, no less a scream.

Looking back at him were two glowing green eyes, empty of light, empty of human emotion, focused on nothing but him, completely centered on every micro movement George was making. He shuddered as the thing seemed to perk up at George finally seeing it, as if it were saying, “Finally, what took you so long?”

Either it was too dark to see the rest of its features, or he didn’t look long enough, but the two green eyes was all he needed to see to get the hell out of that room.

Finally, after days, George let himself scream. He screamed with all his being, screamed so loud that he felt his vocal chords shake. He sprinted as fast as he could back to his room and slammed the door behind him. He heard the monster make a sound, it sounds like a bear growling, as he could literally feel the house shift under its weight, like it was trying to find George from the skylight.

The Brit was hyperventilating, he went for his phone but it had no service. He cursed loudly as he threw it on the bed.

Suddenly he could hear what he feared most, glass shattering. He heard it shatter and fall on the ground, and now he could hear the monster more clearly. It was animalistic sounds like he’d never heard of. Weird growling that he could only affiliate to a large bear or lion, but much deeper, much more evil.

George backed himself against the farthest wall as his body shook, literally shook, with panic. Rummaging could be heard from the other room, and George felt like being sick when he realized that it could only be the monster reaching it’s hand inside to feel around for him.

George looked around his room, trying to come up with a plan. He couldn’t hide in here, it could tear down the wall and grab him and he’d be dead.

His eyes flicked over to the largest window he had. He could run. He walked over to it and opened the curtains, peering out at the eerie darkness with a pit in his chest. It would expect him to stay in the house. If he ran, it wouldn’t expect it.

George opened the window but paused before he jumped out. He looked back at the bed and grabbed his phone, turning on the flashlight. He stared out the window once more, beginning to rethink his spontaneous idea before he heard a loud thump hit against his door, and the monster make a horrible sound of knowing.

He didn’t give it a chance to tear down his wall before jumping out of the window and sprinting full force into the thick dark. Alone.

…

…

It was 4 am. The slightest hints of light were beginning to show, and George hadn’t slept a wink. Ever since he jumped out of the window, he’d been on the move. He stayed in the general vicinity of the woods edge, because the last thing he wanted was to get lost in the monster’s territory. He was exhausted,. Physically, mentally, emotionally, instinctively. He wanted to pass out, to let sleep take over, to rest. But he couldn’t.

A few hours ago he dared to look back at the cabin to find that the monster wasn’t leaning over it anymore. And ever since then, George had been making sure to never keep looking in one direction for too long.

Part of him wanted it to turn out that he was crazy, that he hallucinated the whole thing. Because ever since he jumped out of the window, he hadn’t seen it at all. Surely it would’ve been chasing him by now? If it wasn’t, then was it real at all?

But then the silence filled his ears, and that was enough to reassure him that he wasn’t alone.

It was looking for him.

George decided to stay put at the forest edge behind the cabin, where he could see the driveway incase Sapnap decided to make an appearance. He was tired, and was hyper focusing on the sounds around him.

If he just would’ve came out of his room, if he just spent more time with his friends, none of this would’ve happened. Sapnap wouldn’t have done this to try and make George socialize. Was this his punishment for being a bad friend? Was this the price to pay for being an ungrateful prick? George couldn’t help but curl up into himself. Sapnap and Karl won’t be back for hours. They won’t be back until it’s too late, and they’ll come inside and see what happened and think he went crazy. Sapnap will blame himself and Karl will too. Why did it have to turn out this way? Why him? Why?

A car could be heard in the distance.

George lifted his head from his knees and looked bewildered at the driveway. A familiar black car pulled into the long driveway, a comforting yellow light coming off of the headlights. They were home. They were home! He did it! He beat the fucking monster!

George stood, his body shaking as he balanced his exhausted body on the trees beside him. He opened his mouth to yell, but he was cut off.

The trees behind him rustled.

And the air was still.

George had his phone in his hands, and as he turned around he shined the flashlight up, and up, and up….

And two lifeless, inhuman, green eyes met the shine of his light.

George stumbled back, falling over. But what he didn’t know was that the space behind him wasn’t a safe field of open yard, but the hand of the monster, sitting in wait for George to fall right into it.

George gasped and violently writhed as fingers quickly wrapped around his form, he whined in fear as he tried with what little energy he had left to squeeze out of the cold hands that had him trapped.

And as the monster stood up, George let out one last scream of plea;

“NOOOOO!”

——————

part two? maybe 👀

[shinsouskitten]

Hi, so I just read your Bakugou NSFW alphabet, and I was wondering could you do one for Karma Akabane? There's a lack of content for him on Tumblr in general compared to Bakugou and I'm THIRSTY.

ME TOO HONEY. love me some sadistic redhead moments

also sorry for this being like RLLY late 😔 i hope you're not too dehydrated

Warnings: nsfw, mdni, this one is dirty

---

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Okay hear me out. He’s kinda shit at aftercare. He tries, bless him, but he’s just not really a nice guy (I love the guy but c’mon). Likely the most you’ll get is half a glass of water he forgot was on his bedside table and a towel to clean yourself off. At least, that’s all you’ll get while you’re awake. Once you’re asleep he’ll clean you properly (as well as he can without waking you up) and make sure you’re lying comfortably so you don’t wake up too stiff

There’s been the occasional time when you’ve passed out from how hard you came and he’s just kinda stared at you for a moment before making sure you’re okay (and alive) then just lay there stroking your hair until you come (no pun intended) back to him

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

He likes his hands, especially around your throat or gripping your hips like a vice as he completely ruins you. Something makes me think Karma is a neck guy, cause he can cover them with hickies that you can’t hope to hide unless you have some really good concealer. He’s a bit of a vampire

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Everywhere and anywhere. Karma loves to make a mess, and then constantly tell you how dirty you are and demand that you clean yourself up. One of his favorite moments is after he cums inside you, and warns you not to waste a single drop. If you do, oh boy, I guess he’ll just have to fill you up again

D = Dirty secret (pretty clear, a dirty secret of theirs)

Karma doesn’t really have any dirty secrets. If he wants to try something out, he’ll tell you. Really he’s shameless. He’s not gonna hide anything from you, even the darkest thoughts born from his deepest depravity

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not many people would be able to go a night with Karma, cause he can get a little intense, so before you he’s not incredibly experienced. He’s not a virgin by any means, but he hasn’t had the chance to try out most of the crazy things he wants to try. So for the most part he knows what he’s doing, but when it gets to the really fun stuff… well it’ll be a learning curve for the both of you

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Karma doesn’t really have a favorite position, simply because you never stay in one for long enough

G = Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)

If you whine, or beg, he will laugh at you (the low chuckle 😩). This dude just really enjoys mocking you, but he’s still very serious about pleasuring you

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Tbh he doesn’t really put too much effort into grooming. Mostly he’ll just try to keep it trimmed, and occasionally he’ll shave. Don’t worry tho, even though he doesn’t groom like crazy, he still keeps everything clean

I = Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

He’s a fucking sadist. Don’t expect him to kiss your forehead and shower you with rose petals cause that’s just not Karma. This man will fuck you until you’re drooling and shaking and unable to talk with absolutely no remorse

J = Jack off (what are their views on masturbation?)

Honestly likes it a little too much. Is there such a thing as a masturbation addiction, cause if so, Karma has it. He has an incredibly high drive, and you’re not always there (or able to keep up with him) so if the dick goes up, the hand goes down

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He puts the S in BDSM

L = Location (favorite places to do the dance with no pants)

Once again, anywhere and everywhere. He’s also not shy about being caught

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going, etc)

When you talk back to him. Did someone say brat tamer?

N = No (turn offs, something they wouldn’t do)

He’ll try anything once, so don’t be shy to suggest something. This man is truly depraved, so anything you could think of, he’s thought of worse

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Receiving, 100% receiving. And he’s not gentle either. Get ready for a face fucking cause he will use you until he’s satisfied. If he’s going down on you, it’s because he wants to overstimulate you and see those pretty little tears run down your cheeks

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He will break your back. ‘Nuff said

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

Karma looooooooves quickies, especially in public. There’s something about being so needy that you just can’t wait and the thrill and risk of being caught by unsuspecting onlookers

R = Risk (how risky are they willing to be?)

He once fucked you through a midnight showing of Fifty Shades of Gray, as a demonstration that that movie knows nothing about the real good stuff (his words). Surprisingly, no one in the cinema caught on to what was happening in the back seats, and even if they heard something, they most likely ignored it as part of the film. So yeah, he’s down for some risk

S = Stamina (how long do they last? how many rounds?)

It just doesn’t stop. Like- HOW CAN ONE PERSON HAVE SO MUCH STAMINA?! TF?! If you’re not literally shaking he’s not stopping (unless you ask him too of course, he may be an ass but he’s not a completely terrible person)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them on a partner or themselves?)

Oh my. If it exists, he has it. And he’s not shy about trying toys on himself either. He’s very open to new things so it’s not uncommon that you come home to find three new boxes on the kitchen counter and Karma standing over them with a maniacal grin

U = Unfair (how much do they tease?)

Dude. It’s Karma

V = Volume (how they sound, how loud they are, etc)

A small groan here and there, but most of the volume coming from your bedroom will be your own screams. The neighbors know his name, they’ve heard it so much it’d be impossible not to. He uses a fair amount of dirty talk, but he keeps most of his own sounds quiet. He wants to hear your voice, not his own

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

Now cause it’s not technically a dirty secret I left this one until now. One time he had a dream where you topped him and he woke up harder than he’s ever been in his life. He’s way too proud to ever admit wanting to see you take the lead, but if you surprise him and steal the reins, he may just protest a little less

X = X-ray (let’s have a looksee in those pants)

Mini Karma stands tall at a good 7 inches. He’s slightly leaner than average, but there’s a slight curve that has him drilling into your sweet spot with each and every thrust

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

You know Mt Everest? Yeah? Keep going up

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

With his stamina levels it’s highly unlikely he’d fall asleep before you. There’s been the occasional time when you’ve passed out from how hard you came and he’s just kinda stared at you for a moment before making sure you’re still alive

[storiesforallfandoms]

haunted house ~ billy loomis;scream

word count: 1489

request?: no

description: when his girlfriend is terrified by a haunted house, billy promises to protect her no matter what

pairing: billy loomis x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

*to celebrate the start of spooky season!*

I looked up at the abandoned building turned haunted house. I don’t know who decided it was a good idea to make a haunted house out of a place that was supposedly haunted. I definitely don’t know what possessed me to go with my group of friends to the damn haunted house either.

“Do you think we’ll see, like, an actual ghost or something?” Tatum asked as we waited in line to enter the haunted house. “What if we see an actual dead body and we just think it’s a prop?”

“What if we get possessed?” Stu added. Tatum giggled excitedly and leaned into him.

“We’re not gonna get possessed,” Randy said. “Or see any dead bodies or ghosts. The place is an old abandoned home, not a murder site.”

“Not that we know of,” Stu whispered to Tatum, causing her to giggle again.

I crossed my arms and looked up at the scarily decorated building. Not that it was something I was about to admit to my horror crazy friends, but I was terrified to go into the haunted house. I hated haunted houses, I always did. I went once as a young child with my parents and some asshole thought it would be funny to chase after a five year old with a fake chainsaw. I didn’t know it was fake at the time of course cause, you know, I was five.

Noticing my discomfort, Billy put an arm around my waist and pulled me to him. “Hey, don’t listen to Stu. We won’t see any ghosts or dead bodies, it’s just gonna be a harmless haunted house.”

“Harmless, sure,” I said, trying my best to smile at him.

Stu and Tatum excitedly ran into the haunted house once we got to the front of the line. I could hear Tatum scream the moment she passed through the door, which only made my stomach turn even more.

Randy entered next, followed by an also hesitant Sydney. I was glad not to be the only one who wasn’t excited by this idea. When it came to me and Billy, I was also hesitant at first. Billy pulled on my arm slightly, finally getting my legs to move.

The minute we walked through the door, the air was stuffy from the fog. The lights were so dim that I could barley make out the figures of my friends in front of me or Billy beside me. There was a bright, blinking strobe light that showed the outlines of the bodies around us; whether they were real people or just dummies I couldn’t tell.

The first scare was some kid jumping out from a room wearing a Jason Voorhees mask wielding a fake machete. I screeched and clung to Billy’s arm as he laughed and kept walking. I could hear screaming from the other attendees and jeers from the people playing the characters.

Billy’s hand slipped from mine and my panic began to rise. I still couldn’t see very well and now the strobe lights were starting to disorient me. I just wanted to get to the end and to go home.

I had my arms around myself, as if that would protect me, when a group of kids ran past me, giggling and screaming. They startled me slightly, but not as much as one of the haunted house workers jumping out at me, a mask over his face and a fake chainsaw in his hands. Flashbacks to my first haunted house played before my eyes as I screamed and covered my face. I backed away until I hit a wall, but my attacker kept coming, chainsaw raised over his head. I began to sob in terror as it became evident that the chainsaw wielding maniac wasn’t backing away.

“Hey man! Get the fuck away!”

I recognized Billy’s voice as the chainsaw finally shut off. Through the dim light I could see Billy shoving my attacker away before kneeling down next to me.

“She’s fucking crying, alright? That means back the fuck up and leave her alone!” he snapped as he knelt down next to me. “Are you okay, babe?”

I shook my head, unable to speak due to my sobbing. Billy put an arm around me and pulled me to my feet.

“Keep your head ducked, I’ll get us out of here,” he said.

I tucked my head against shit shoulder as he led me out of the haunted house. I jumped with every scare that came at us, but for the most part I was able to avoid any further upset. Once we walked out through the exit door, I took a deep breath and savored the fresh air in my lungs.

Stu and Tatum were already out and basically dry humping on the fence as they waited for us. Tatum shoved Stu away as Billy and I approached, eyeing me specifically. “What happened to you?”

I shook my head. “I d-don’t wanna t-talk about it.”

“Man, they really got you, huh (Y/N)?” Stu asked. “Which was it? Was it the dude with his guts spilling out everywhere?”

“Leave her alone,” Billy said. “I’m gonna take (Y/N) home, I’ll meet up with you guys later.”

“Awe, why do you guys gotta be such party poopers?” Tatum asked, but Billy ignored her as he brought me to his car.

I looked at myself in the sun visor mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy and my nose was as red as a tomato. I could see the tear streaks now stained on my flushed face. I looked like hell, or at least that I had been to Hell and back.

“You don’t have to drive me home, Billy,” I said when he got into the driver’s seat. “I can call my parents to give me a run home.”

“It seems like you need someone besides your parents right now,” he said. “Besides, I’m not jumping to spend the night with a sexed up couple, my ex-girlfriend, and the horror movie aficionado who would likely talk about how lame that haunted house was the whole night.”

This was enough to put a small smile on my face. Billy smiled back at me and started driving towards my house.

The beginning of the ride was silent besides the static sounds of Billy’s car radio. I rolled down the window to let the air blow on my warm face. I sighed, a sense of guilt eating away at me still for pulling Billy away from our friends.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked.

“Not really,” I responded.

“Okay, then we don’t have to talk about it.”

It was something I appreciated about Billy. He respected my wishes and didn’t push me further than I wanted to go. There’s not a lot of guys, or a lot of people for that matter, that would do that.

“I hate haunted houses,” I said, resting my head against the seat. “My parents took me to my first one when I was a kid and I got chased by a guy who had a fake chainsaw, like the guy who cornered me back there. That shit stuck with me, I’ve never been to a haunted house since. Not until tonight anyways.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We didn’t have to go.”

“Cause you seemed so excited by it, and everyone else was going. I didn’t think it would be that bad until I lost you and had a repeat of that episode from when I was five.” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. “God, why couldn’t I just fucking get over it?”

“Being traumatized isn’t exactly something you get over,” Billy said. “You were a kid brought into an environment where a kid should never be.”

We pulled up to my house and Billy reached over to put his hand on mine. I looked up at him and smiled. It was nearly impossible to be upset when I had such an amazing guy on my side.

“Next time, I want you to tell me when you don’t want to do something,” he said. “It’s not fair to you, especially if it’s something that will bring up old memories like that.”

“I promise,” I said.

“And I promise to always protect you, no matter what. No one will ever hurt you as long as you have me.”

“I know.”

I leaned forward to kiss him. All the upset I had been feeling just moments before seemed to vanish from my body as his lips pressed against mine. His hand was gently as it caressed my face while the other closed in around my hand.

When I pulled away, I glanced at my house to see that the lights were off, indicating that my parents were likely gone to bed.

“Park down the road and I’ll sneak you in for the night?” I asked.

Billy smiled like a kid on Christmas morning. “Deal.”

[miraculouscontent]

“Sentibubbler” summary? “Sentibubbler” salt?

Why not both at the same time?

Something a little experimental, though also somewhat reminiscent of some of my past videos. Calling it “summasalt” for now, based on the word “somersault” because this episode was an exercise of my patience.

It’s basically just me going through the episode with my usual episode summary, but salting along the way instead of making you guys read a wall of text without any images or clips or me making snarky comments.

(By the way, yes, I did in fact have caffeine before recording.)

script below for anyone who wants/needs it:

"Sentibubbler" begins with Marinette having food with the Cesaires and I already know this isn't real because Marinette is actually getting to interact with her best friend's family. That's only happened, like--when, two episodes of Season 2? [”Sapotis” and “Anansi”]

Marinette sees Trixx and points out how they're supposed to be a secret, and Alya asks why while calling Marinette "Ladybug." Marinette plays dumb but is told by Nino that everyone already knows her secret. Chloe is also there, chiding Marinette for her identity rule - it's not Marinette's rule but after "Reflekdoll" I've just gotten used to Marinette being blamed for things she didn't do - and Marinette goes to question Chloe's apperance when there's a knock on the balcony door. Alya invites Shadow Moth in and--[Shadow Moth has to duck to come inside]--huh, I thought Sole Crusher was seven episodes ago.

Anyway, now obviously, Marinette is just being ridiculous and overemotional as usual, because why would Marinette ever think that Alya would reveal any information to--["Feast"]--oh yeah, that's right.

Tikki doesn't transform Marinette and says that Marinette shouldn't have trusted Alya with her secret. Enter Chat Blanc, who says that they can be together now without any secrets. Not really sure what this episode is aiming for with the mixed message of "your identity rule sucks" but also "your fault for trusting someone instead of having a mental breakdown," but a’ight. Trixx also gets another dig in on Marinette for giving Alya the fox miraculous.

Marinette wakes up from her nightmare and panics, but Tikki reassures her that Alya is loyal. [”Chameleon”] Mm. Also, that kind of support might've been nice from Tikki literal seasons ago when Marinette could've used a confidant.

Wayzz - I swear, they've had eyelashes more often than not in this season - points out that Trixx is mischievous and Xuppu talks about Trixx being the cause of the Loch Ness monster rumors, which worries Marinette further. Marinette runs out in her pajamas and I can already predict that neither Tom nor Sabine are going to check on her later or care.

Marinette finds the Cesaires looking for something, their words vague enough for Marinette to think that they're talking about Trixx. Alya brushes Marinette off and tells her to help with looking instead of lecturing her.

Marlena makes a comment that reminds Marinette of her nightmare, only increasing Marinette's stress. A tarantula crawls up a ladle and Marinette freaks out when she sees it, which Marlena has a laugh at because Marinette's anxiety, fear, and panic is hilarious, guys!

This is my laughing face. [not a laughing face]

Nino exits, having been too afraid of the spider to leave the room, so Nora compares Marinette to him. Nino tries to play it cool, then changes the subject to point out Marinette's pajamas. Alya wonders aloud why Marinette showed up and Marinette tries to act casual, but Alya sees through it and states that she doesn't usually lose things when someone lends them to her.

I presume the exception is Marinette's trust. OH-HOOOOHHH, we'll get there.

Nora takes a jab at Alya for losing the spider and Marinette drags Alya away to talk. Nino tries to join but Alya states that it's between her and Marinette, which makes Nino sad.

Nino, does the phrase "guys' time" ring a bell by any chance?

Marinette is explaining her nightmare and is simply told to calm down by Alya, though Marinette is briefly startled by a phone ringing. Marinette puts together what she knows that Shadow Moth knows, including that Alya is Rena Rouge, adding on that Shadow Moth could steal the fox necklace if he figured out that Alya has it permanently. Alya reassures her that no one will ever know and Marinette states that this must include Chat Noir. Alya agrees and brings attention to the fanny pack around her waist, which Trixx has been hiding in, and Marinette has Trixx promise not to show up at the dining table like in her nightmare. Tikki tells Marinette that everything will be fine and Marinette admits that it was silly of her to worry, which it was! ...If you ignore all the anxiety, mental scarring, and constant pressure to be perfect or risk Paris lighting itself on fire, much like I presume they accidentally did with their original script for this episode.

Alya tells Marinette to trust her and also herself - I'll be sure to keep that in mind, Alya, thank you - then Alya loses her temper at the phone continuing to ring. She leaves to find an empty living room, then answers the phone only to hear Shadow Moth on the other line. Alya turns upon hearing Marinette scream to see that Marinette has been trapped in a bubble. Cue the reveal/return of the Bubbler, who is definitely Nino akumatized and not--like--a sentimonster, because the episode didn't spoil it at all with the title of Sentibub--

show, this is freaking embarrassing. Why even bother akumatizing someone when you can mold a sentimonster with the exact power you want?

At least they reveal it quickly, though that also means I have to live with the knowledge that Shadow Moth wINKED AT ALYA, NO.

Anyway, Shadow Moth tells Alya that he wants her to betray Ladybug. Marinette, meanwhile, is panicking over being unable to transform while in public, whereas Tikki remains calm and reassures her that Alya will figure something out and it's why Marinette gave Alya the fox miraculous in the first place.

Weird, I thought it was for the show to continuously validate Alya as a worthy choice for a confidant despite repeatedly covering up her sINS and so the show can push for more anxiety on Marinette's part while simultaneously not having to make a new hero model for Alya, which they would have to do if the realistic decision had been made to give Alya a different miraculous due to Shadow Moth knowing her identity as Rena Rouge.

Marinette texts Alya to inform her that the Bubbler is a sentimonster and so Rena can tell Chat not to use Cataclysm on him or the bubbles will burst due to the sentimonster's lack of control.

Hate to burst the show's bubble but Alya could literally see Nino up in the sky and they could see her; the bubbles are in viewing range. Did this even go through a quality check?

Alya goes to look at Marinette's text, but the phone is bubbled away by Sentibubbler. Marinette sees the phone floating by and panics, only to be reassured again to trust Alya and at this point I vaguely wondered if I was watching this episode on repeat. Tikki also adds that Alya has never let her down - [”Ladybug”] MMMM - and Marinette agrees, also certain that Chat Noir will show up soon.

Oh yeah, he exists. Oh no.

Cut to the Agreste mansion where Adrien is watching the news - dude, how is there never anything better on when you need to be told that there's an akuma? here, look, I'll show you [”Silencer” Lukabug clip] there, much better, see? - and it's pointed out that the bubbles are identical to the ones Bubbler had, yet Nino is in one of the bubbles. Adrien readies himself while Plagg is - for once - okay with leaving since his cheese isn't "edible" yet.

I feel like he should be a little more concerned about Marinette being in a bubble.

Meanwhile, Shadow Moth is explaining to Alya that Ladybug will come to give her the fox miraculous due to the bubbled people in the sky - plenty of other choices that aren't within breathing range of the obvious danger zone, but a'ight - and SentiBubbler will catch Ladybug. Alya brings up Chat Noir saving her but Shadow Moth states that she'll create an illusion of Ladybug and Rena to lure Chat Noir, who won't see Sentibubbler coming, at which point Rena will hand Shadow Moth her miraculous. He adds that her loved ones will only be returned once all three miraculouses are in his possession, though if she tries to warn the heroes then Sentibubbler will send the bubbles into space, too far for any hero to save them.

[clip of space power-ups] Hm.

Also, I would've just let her keep the miraculous as an extra bribe since he doesn't need the fox and she wouldn't have time to recharge anyway - at least to his knowledge - but that's just me.

Marinette is relieved that Alya still hasn't been captured--TIKKI, I KNOW, YOU'VE BEEN PARROTING THIS ALL EPISODE, I KNOW--but Marinette changes her tune when she sees Alya blindly calling out for Ladybug's help, unaware that Alya is buying time. Marinette laments the idea of transforming there and having using the rabbit to go back in time to reverse, as that's never a good thing (seconded), but gets the idea for Tikki to take her miraculous to someone else. Tikki rejects the idea, as the earrings won't go through the bubble, and Marinette realizes that Chat Noir is their only hope.

I mean, it was nice knowing them. Sure is interesting how Marinette has only been getting herself into these situations where she requires saving when the show needed to present Alya as a valid choice for a confidant.

Meanwhile, Chat Noir is leaving a message for Ladybug about the bubbles in the sky, saying that he'll wait for her; I already see where this is going and I don't like it.

Alya mutters to Trixx about how they need a plan to release Marinette. Through Alya Vision, we're shown Sentibubbler, a bowl of fruit, and the bathroom door. Alya tells Sentibubbler that she needs to go to the bathroom and - wow, we're really doing this, aren't we? - which Shadow Moth rejects. Shadow Moth is also on top of a building holding a coffee cup which honestly makes about as much sense as the rest of the episode, so whatever. Alya claims that she can't wait and that it'll be awkward for Ladybug to find her like that, which gets Shadow Moth to relent but also remind her of what's at stake if she tries anything. Alya states that she can't do anything without a miraculous anyway, then purposefully falls onto the table, concealing her long enough for her to transform and allowing an illusion of herself to go to the bathroom while she escapes. She detransforms in the twins' room and feeds Trixx with some grapes that she'd picked up.

Alya explains her plan to trick Shadow Moth and Sentibubbler since they don't know that she has a miraculous, though she also has to make sure that Chat won't ruin things. Rena then proceeds to call Chat Noir and claim that Ladybug wanted her to call him with her plan, but adds that it's a two-person plan and Chat himself isn't needed, so he needs to wait for further instructions. Chat demands that Ladybug call him to tell him herself, but Rena insists that she can't, as Ladybug is very busy. She warns him not to use Cataclysm if he sees the Bubbler, as he's a sentimonster, then promises to talk to him later before hanging up.

She uses Mirage again, making the Alya illusion reappear as well as creating a Ladybug. Chat Noir, infuriated at being left out, destroys part of a building with his baton. He then dismisses the action because Miraculous Ladybug will fix it.

Spoiler alert, it will, which is a very fascinating detail! I mean, I can't imagine another situation where a hero did something while there was an akuma going around and Miraculous Ladybug decided to help 'em out, but it just goes to show what happens when you're the writers' pet. Just look a little pitiful and they'll give you all the sympathy in the world.

By the way, didn't expect them to actually confirm my theory that Chat Noir does Chat Noir things because he knows that Miraculous Ladybug will fix it anyway, essentially allowing him to earn brownie points from Ladybug via sacrificing himself regardless of how it affects her mentally, yet here we are and I don't know whether to be sad, angry, disappointed, or a mixture of all three.

Chat Noir sees the Ladybug illusion jumping off and gives chase, refuses to stay where he is. Marinette, seeing that Rena Rouge's illusions are active, panics at the sight of Chat Noir, as the illusion will vanish if Chat touches it.

I like to imagine the immediate concern is the idea that Chat Noir will try to take Ladybug's hand while trying to flirt.

Anyway, Marinette flails inside the bubble in an attempt to reach Chat Noir, while illusion Alya and SentiBubbler get into position. Chat Noir watches what he perceives as Ladybug heading into the Cesaire house with Alya, but Marinette gets to him in order to tell him not to go anywhere. Chat complains about everyone telling him to stay put, but Marinette explains Rena's plan to him. Chat is skeptical of how she knows that, to which Marinette insists that she saw it from where she was. Chat Noir relents with a sigh and stays where he is.

SentiBubbler watches as the illusion of Alya and Ladybug talk to each other, Rena making it look like Ladybug is piecing together what happened and refusing to give Alya a miraculous ever again due to Shadow Moth knowing her identity. She claims that she'll find another holder and give them an even more powerful miraculous, which interests Shadow Moth and gets him to follow after the Ladybug illusion. Once Sentibubbler leaves as well, Chat sees this as his chance to stop the sentimonster, as the Ladybug illusion will vanish if it's touched. Marinette strokes his ego for the token love square moment of the episode, and Chat Noir fights SentiBubbler while Shadow Moth goes after the Ladybug illusion.

I'm noticing a real lack of tension in this episode. Once Alya has her plan, it's kind of a clean sweep from start to finish with no interference or unexpected roadblocks in the way. Even Shadow Moth following the Ladybug illusion goes fine, with Shadow Moth even punching a building thinking that Ladybug actually got away from him.

Dude, it's fine, Miraculous Ladybug will fix it, just put on your best sad face. Maybe Chat Noir gets it from you actually, is treatment from the writers a hereditary thing?

Sentibubbler and Chat Noir are still fighting. Shadow Moth shows up and Marinette tries to warn Chat, but Chat gets caught in a bubble and Marinette apologizes; she doesn't have anything to apologize for but after "Reflekdoll" I--wait I already did this.

Chat Noir uses Cataclysm to escape, only to get caught in another bubble. I'd just like to throw out there that this guy's a hero three seasons going and the love interest for the main character, yet his role in the episode has amounted to complaining about the authority of a hero Ladybug chose, throwing a property-destroying tantrum over being excluded, and wasting his power without a single thought which just got him captured again.

Chat, does the name "Syren" ring any bells by any chance? I'm just sayin', you could always quit. In fact, wasn't it you literally one episode ago saying that you understood if Ladybug couldn't always come get you? Then, after seeing the jump from "Glaciator" to "Frozer," I'm about as shocked as rubber.

Back with the competent one, Alya notes to Trixx that Rena Rouge can no longer be seen by Shadow Moth or else the jig is up. She transforms and texts Marinette to be ready, creating an illusion of Marinette that simultaneously hides the real version, allowing her to transform into Ladybug.

Chat Noir's bubble gets dragged down and Shadow Moth gets SentiBubbler to mute Chat Noir's bubble.

[clip from “Silencer” where Ladybug takes amusement in Chat being muted]

Ladybug uses Lucky Charm and receives a pot, her Lucky Vision spotting Shadow Moth's coffee cup, then SentiBubbler, then the tarantula trapped in a bubble. Ladybug deduces that the cup is the sentimonster's object, then pulls the horse miraculous out of her yoyo and unifies it with the ladybug--oh.

Oh my.

You know, it's times like this where I'm reminded that the show knows nothing about fashion... or girls... or good writing actually--there's just a lot of stuff they don't know.

Sentibubbler does a countdown, then starts sending the civilian bubbles up into the sky. Chat Noir is about to de-transform while PegaBug notices of Shadow Moth's two miraculous, up for grabbin'. She notes that she won't be able to catch everyone, so she forms a portal behind Shadow Moth and goes for the coffee cup first, thus putting her in control of SentiBubbler, who happily brings the bubbles back down at her command.

Shadow Moth erases SentiBubbler from existence though, causing everyone to fall, but Chat and PegaBug manage to catch them. PegaBug de-transforms and presents the Cesaires with the tarantula, which had been trapped inside the lucky charm. Ladybug and Chat Noir watch Shadow Moth escape and Ladybug laments that it could've been the end of Shadow Moth once and for all because it's not a Miraculous episode without Marinette being at fault or feeling guilty in some way! Chat Noir reassures her [*by “reassure,” I mean he might as well have said, “Well, you saved ME, so you did great!”] - wow, that's two token love square moments for the price of one episode, don't I feel spoiled - and Ladybug leaves to retrieve the tarantula's tank.

Rena Rouge is waiting for her and they hug, with Rena repeating that she doesn't lose something that someone gives her. Ladybug states that she never should've doubted the idea of giving Alya a miraculous and Imma just give you guys a counter real quick. [counter that shows that Tikki has complimented Alya four times, Alya has complimented herself/told Marinette to trust her thrice, and Marinette has said that she was wrong thrice]. Miraculous Ladybug is cast and everything returns to normal, with Alya explaining what she did and Marinette being relieved that Shadow Moth won't be going after her anymore. Alya confidently asks if she was smart and Marinette is happy to praise her, confirming it and stating that Alya is a real superhero and honestly? If the narrative wanted to marry Alya this badly, they should've just used some of the budget to buy a ring instead of projecting onto the other characters.

Then again, the apparent budget can't even afford a new hero model nor new akuma to a very noticeable degree, so I guess they're taking what they can get.

Alya praises Marinette as well for her work as PegaBug and they do a fistbump, thus ending the episode. There's also this ever-so-lovely post-episode scene with Gabriel and Nathalie where Gabriel laments the fact that Ladybug never makes mistakes which--I... has he even watched the series at all? Gabe, babe, Babriel Agreste, it's literally part of the show's formula that Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and she felt guilty like a minute ago over not yoinking your miraculouses when she had the chance, where have you been?

But, yeah, anyway, the episode.

Needless to say, not a fan. Like I said, the show seems so intent on immediately validating the choices they make with Alya in order to make her look like a better character. "Gang of Secrets" basically replaced her with someone different at the end of the episode, and the episode immediately afterwards in chronological order, "Mr. Pigeon 72," did everything it could to push Marinette out of her guardian position long enough for Alya to figure out the grimoire despite having zero onscreen experience with it, the episode even trapping Ladybug in a situation that forced Rena Rouge to come into play to validate that decision as well.

And now we have "SentiBubbler" here following immediately after "Optigami," desperate to reassure its audience that Alya is cool, smart, truthworthy, and that not needing to make a new model--sorry, I mean Alya continuing to have the fox--was a good decision. All the while, they continue pushing Alya's flaws under the rug [Note that it’s not even considered that Alya is even remotely at fault for Shadow Moth going after her specifically after her stunt in “Optigami” when no one else but Ladybug and Chat have ever given out a miraculous], hiding them instead of Alya actually acknowledging them, the only reason she did so in "Optigami" being the same as in "Gang of Secrets"; to make her look good while Marinette makes a big decision in their relationship.

The episode tries so hard to drill in this idea that Alya is a good friend who can be trusted, and I'm just not here for how much they try to hammer it in. Marinette's very real anxiety over Shadow Moth's power and ability to plan things is played off as her being silly instead of something to be concerned about, and instead of giving her a hug and trying to help her calm down - [clip from “Heart Hunter” of Luka hugging Marinette] I miss Luka - she's just told to trust and believe and hAVE fAiTh in Alya.

Shadow Moth is an adult; he has abilities that the teenage heroes don't. I'm not even saying that Marinette isn't overreacting [Basically, her concern about Shadow Moth is valid, especially after “Optigami” where her identity was almost found out], but she has anxiety and some obvious trauma over "Chat Blanc." I was already upset that Alya got a free pass to Marinette's identity, but the constant stressing over how much Marinette should trust her just doesn't affect me when I know Alya and I know the kind of stuff she's done that the show blatantly ignored in favor of pushing for her.

But okay, show, I'll give Alya the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't deserve. Let's say that she's turned a new leaf, and has become the reliable, trustworthy, and loyal partner that Marinette deserves. I'm sure that Alya has Marinette's back, and will never go behind said back in order to do something completely unsurprising and wholly indicative of the character I actually know her to be.

Especially not a mere three episodes later...

[imagines-all-day-everyday]

Madripoor

Requested by: MEEE cause this plot popped into my head the second I watched this episode

Summary: Bucky was just following Sharon’s advice to enjoy the party when he meets *yn*, what he isn’t counting on is that he most definitely won’t be staying out of trouble.

Warnings: THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER EP 3 SPOILERS YOU’VE BEEN WARNEDDDDD, fluff, swearing, violence

PART TWO (NAGEL)

--------------------------

“Lay low, blend in. Enjoy the party.” Sharon spoke as she made her way up the stairs. “Oh and try to stay out of trouble, I’ll see what I can find.” 

“Trouble?” Zemo smirked. 

--------

Sharon’s words echoed in Bucky’s ears as he made his way through the party. Sweaty bodies were pressed up against him as he ducked and weaved through the crowd. It felt like the pulsating music was drumming against his skull as he made his way up to the bar.

“I’m way too old for this.” He huffed out once he reached Sam, gesturing to the bartender for two shots.

“Old or lame? There’s a big difference.” Sam remarked as the pair simultaneously clinked their glasses together and skulled the liquid. Bucky smirked as he watched Sam cough and splutter.

“Now who’s the lame one?” Bucky chuckled, the liquid burning his throat.

“Maybe we both are. Look at Zemo, the dude may be weird but he’s got game.” Sam answered once he’d recovered. 

Bucky followed his gaze to see Zemo dancing in between two women, both giggling and chatting animately. He watched as Zemo suddenly began pumping his arm enthusiastically to the beat as the girls watched him wide eyed, before exchanging glancing and slipping back into the crowd without another word.

“On second thought dude’s just weird.”

Bucky let out a chuckle as he leant forward and grabbed the beer that the bartender had left out for him. He took a swig as he turned back around to face the party. He automatically swept over area, his eyes sliding over the hundreds of faces as he looked out for any threat.

He paused as his eyes fell on a flash of bright red material. 

Upon closer inspection he noted that the bright red material was in fact a silk dress that was covering the slender figure of a young woman. It was a halter dress that had a deep slit down the front and was almost completely backless, the silk material falling down almost to her ankles with another deep slit also running up her leg that exposed her thigh. 

He felt his grip on his beer tighten as his eyes fell on her face, revealing a pair of eyes framed by thick lashes and lips painted with a deep plum lipstick. She was snaking her way through the crowd, gracefully dodging drunken people as they stumbled their way around on the dance floor. 

As if she sensed his gaze her eyes flickered up and locked with his. The pair eyed each other for a few moments. She shot him a small smile before breaking their gaze.

“Now who would you be checking out hm?” Sam’s voice broke Bucky out of his almost trance like state. 

“No one.” Bucky answered gruffly, glancing over at Sam to see him smirking at him. 

“Sure Buck.”

Bucky ignored him and turned his head back to where the woman had been only moments ago. She was gone. He scanned the crowd and let out a small huff when he couldn’t see any sight of her. 

“Now, I need you to educate me on this art so I can impress some of the ladies.” Sam spoke up again, dragging Bucky’s attention from the crowd.

“What’s that one?” He asked pointing at a nearby painting.

“That’s the Wedding at Cana, painted by Paolo Veronese in 1563.”

“1562 actually.”

Bucky swivelled around, a breath catching in his throat when his eyes fell on the bright red dress. He had no idea how she’d managed to somehow appear beside him without him noticing. He swallowed and ran a hand through his hair as he composed himself before answering, ensuring his face stayed void of emotion.

“I’m pretty sure it’s 1563 actually.”

His answer made her brow quirk up in amusement as she took a sip of her drink, her wrist twinkling due to a very expensive looking diamond bracelet dangling from it.

“Actually I think you’ll find it’s 1562. The copy in the Louvre might say 1563 but I suggest you take a peak at the original.” Her words made his eyes narrow as he studied her features. 

“Well maybe I will.” 

“Before you do that please feel free to continue educating your friend, I’m happy to sit here and correct you when you make another mistake.” She spoke, shooting him an overly warm smile which caused Bucky to grit his teeth. 

Sam let out a low whistle as the smirk on her lips widened. “Damn Buck I think you might’ve met someone more cultured than you.” 

“We’ll see about that.” Bucky muttered, taking a swig of his beer as he eyed her. 

“So how does someone like yourself become so knowledgable about stolen art?” Sam asked her, his eyes darting between the pair in amusement.

The girl shrugged as she took another sip of her drink before motioning to the bartender. “I know a lot about a lot of things.” 

“Really?” Bucky mused, this time it being his turn to raise a brow. “And does ‘miss knower of all things’ have a name?” 

“Miss knower of all things does.” She answered as she grabbed the shot glass and pressed it to her lips. Bucky eyed her profile intently, noting the way her plump lips wrapped around the lip of the glass and her eyes screwed shut as she slung her head back to let the liquid slide down her throat. 

“I love this song.” She remarked, finishing the remainder of her other drink before she rose from her seat. Bucky’s eyes followed her figure as she begun to make her way back to the dance floor. She paused and glanced over her shoulder, a smirk still present on her lips.

“You coming to dance with me or what Buck?” She queried, Sam’s nickname for him rolling off her tongue, amusement evident in her tone.

Bucky eyed her for a few moments before glancing over at Sam. “Sharon did say to enjoy the party.” Sam grinned.

“Try not to be too lame or old huh?” He continued, patting his shoulder encouragingly as Bucky rose from his chair. 

“Thanks.” Bucky muttered as he cautiously approached the woman in red. Her smirk widened as he made his way towards her. “C’mon.” He heard her say as she leant forward and took his gloved hand in hers and tugged him into the crowd.

If she was saying anything to him, he couldn’t hear as he felt himself become engulfed in the crowd as she pulled him deeper into the dance floor. After a few moments she came to a stop and swivelled around to face him. He felt himself grow slightly red as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, swaying her hips to the beat.

“Are you really not going to tell me your name?” Bucky spoke, practically shouting to make himself heard over the thumping base.

“Why do you want to know? You never danced with a stranger before?” She answered back.

“No I just- I usually know people’s names before I dance with them.” He replied which caused her to let out a small laugh. “Back in my day we used to go out to dinner first.” He added silently in his head. 

His heart thumped against his chest as she pulled him closer to her and leant up so her lips brushed against the shell of his ear. “My name’s *yn*.” 

“*yn*.” Bucky echoed, her smile widening at the sound of her name rolling off his tongue. “And what brings you to a place like Madripoor?” 

“You ask a lot of questions.” She observed matter-of-factly.  

Before Bucky could open his mouth to respond, *yn* twisted around, keeping one arm slung around his neck as she pressed her back up against his body. Bucky bit his lip to prevent a hiss from escaping his mouth as *yn* began to rotate her hips to the rhythm of the music, the fabric of her dress pressing against the material of his black suit pants.

This certainly beat online dating.

“Just relax, enjoy the party.” *yn* laughed breathlessly, echoing Sam’s words from before as she pressed even harder against him. Bucky let his eyes flutter shut as he felt his hands automatically move to grip her hips as he started to move his own body in time with the thumping bass. 

His grip on her hips tightened as she lolled her head back against his chest, her hot breath fanning onto his neck as the pair moved in sync. 

If only Steve could see him now.

As he grew more comfortable he let his gloved hands begin to wander, trailing over her lower stomach before gliding down her thighs. “What do you say we go find somewhere quieter to talk?” He heard *yn* murmur into his ear. 

He felt *yn*’s body stiffen as his hands crept lower to just below her panty line. Before he could answer, her hand suddenly shot out to grip his wrist and cease his movements but not before his hand suddenly brushed over an unexpected bump on her leg. 

A shape that felt suspiciously like a-

A hand suddenly clamped onto his shoulder causing him to jerk his hands away in surprise just as *yn* pulled away from his grasp. “I’m sorry to break up the party but Sharon’s found our guy-” Sam cut himself off as Bucky swivelled around to stare at him, his eyes wide in surprise.

“You good man?” Sam asked, concern written on his features when he noticed Bucky’s look of surprise.

“I-” Bucky cut himself off before looking back to *yn*.

His brow furrowed as his eyes instead fell on a drunk man currently sculling a beer out of a shoe. He frantically looked around, muttering a curse under his breath when he realised *yn* was no where to be seen. 

It was like she had vanished without a trace.

“Oh painting girl pulled a runner? Don’t worry about it man happens to the best of us.” Sam comforted, patting his shoulder once more. 

Bucky felt a ripple of suspicion wash over him but he decided against telling Sam about it as he finally pulled his gaze away from the crowd to look at Sam. “Let’s get Zemo. We should talk somewhere private.”

--------------------

“Alright what have you found?” Sam asked. Zemo, Bucky, Sharon and Sam were all piled into a private coat room located directly above the party. The bass was still so loud that Bucky could feel the vibrations through the tiled floor. The door was locked with a few security guards located outside and on the stairs leading up to the room. 

Bucky sighed, his mind swimming with thoughts of *yn* as he ripped his gloves off. He couldn’t shake a feeling of suspicious that was gnawing at him that there was something off about *yn*.

“I’ve spoken to a few buyers and I’ve got a location on Doctor Nagel.” Sharon spoke, interrupting his thoughts. “He was pretty hard to track down but he’s definitely still here in Madripoor. He’s at the shipping yard.”

Bucky stiffened when he swore he head a thump outside the door, a thump that didn’t correlate with the sound from the party. He strained his ears and sure enough, another thump followed suit a few minutes lately. 

“Bucky?”

“You sure no one can get up here?” Bucky queried, looking over to Sharon. 

“I’m sure. This is a restricted area, I’ve got all the entrances guarded.” She answered, watching him as he made his way to the door.

“Bucky? What’s going on?” Sam asked.

Bucky held his hand up to signal everyone to be quiet as he pressed his ear against the wood. He held his breath as he listened intently. There were a few moments of quiet until he head another thump and a small moan. 

Without warning Bucky ripped open the door and stepped out into the hallway. He nearly tripped over when his foot hit a solid form. He glanced down to see one of the guards lying at his feet, letting out low moans of pain. His eyes travelled down the hall to see all of the guards were either unconscious or were too dazed to get to their feet. 

He froze when his eyes fell on an all too familiar red dress. 

Bucky locked eyes with *yn*, her lips parted in surprise and chest heaving up and down as she tried to regain her breath. The pair stood frozen for what felt like an eternity, the silence almost deafening as they eyed each other. 

“Bucky!” Sam called out, shattering the silence.

Bucky was only distracted for a split second but *yn* took it, turning around and sprinting down the stairs. “Hey!” Bucky shouted, taking off after her ignoring Sam’s shouts from behind him. 

Bucky leapt down the winding stairs, catching brief glimpses of the red material before it disappeared around the next corner. Finally his feet planted on the lower floor. His eyes scanned the crowd, locking onto *yn*’s figure as she pushed through the crowd.

His jaw locked and he could feel himself enter into winter soldier mode as he stormed forward and plunged into the throng of people. He ignored protests and exclamations of surprise as he shoved people out of the way, parting them like the red sea as he kept his eyes focused on her like a laser beam. 

*yn* glanced over her shoulder and the pair briefly locked eyes before she turned around once more and broke out of the crowd, sprinting towards a door with a neon exit sign hanging above it. 

Bucky was hot on her heels, shoving the door open revealing another set of stairs. He hurried up the stairs and got to a landing revealing two doors. He noted that the left door was slightly ajar and he pushed through it revealing a large hall.

He sprinted into the centre of it, coming to a stop when he saw no sight of *yn*. He did a 360 of the room, craning his neck to look around. The room was empty except for a few large wooden boxes covered in tarps. Clearly this was where Sharon kept the less impressive stolen art.

“Come on.” Bucky muttered under his breath as he looked around. It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop but his senses were telling him that he wasn’t alone in this room.

*yn* was here, if that was even her name.

He let out a grunt of surprise as a sold object hit his back, nearly knocking the wind out of him. He could feel limbs wrapping around his neck and his torso as slender arms pulled his neck into a headlock. He let another grunt as he brought his hands up to grip onto the arm that was around his throat.

He furrowed his brow in surprise when he pulled at the arms and found them unbudging. He tried once more, mustering all the strength he had but *yn*’s grip remained unmoving. He gritted his teeth and took a couple steps before shoving his back into one of the wooden crates.

He heard *yn* let out a small moan of pain as her body smacked against the solid mass with full force. Sure enough, her grip loosened slightly which allowed Bucky to pull her arm from his neck and throw her body over his head and off him. 

She twisted her body in the air so that she landed in a crouched position but still on her feet. Bucky watched her as she rose to her full height, her body slightly gleaming with sweat under the sterile light. She took a few steps back from him and leant down to spread apart her dress, revealing a black thigh garter.

Just as Bucky had suspected on the dance floor, sheathed inside the thigh garter was a small blade. He watched as she pulled it from her thigh, gripping it tightly in her hand.

“You picked the wrong dress tonight doll.” Bucky tutted as he took a few steps towards her.

“You don’t like it? I’m hurt.” *yn* pouted, placing a hand over her heart mockingly. 

“Trust me doll, I like it.” Bucky answered, letting his eyes briefly dart from the dagger in her hand to her dress. “But it’s not exactly the best dress for blending in and slipping away unnoticed.” 

“Who ever said I wanted to slip away unnoticed?” *yn* answered, a mischievous glint in her eye as the pair began to slowly circle each other. Her words made his forehead crease in confusion as he studied her intently. 

“So you know who I am?” 

“I do.” *yn* nodded as she twisted the knife in between her fingers. “The зимний солдат.” 

Her answer made Bucky’s lips part slightly in surprise. “That is what they call you, isn’t it?” She mused.

“Who are you?” Bucky snapped causing her to smirk to widen.

“What were those magic words again, Желание, Ржавый, Семнадцать-”

Bucky suddenly lurched forward, taking *yn* by surprise. She reacted instinctively, bringing the blade up from her side towards his stomach. Bucky gripped her wrist using his right arm, stopping the knife only inches from his flesh. He pulled her closer to him and raised his metal arm to strike her. With lightning fast reflexes her other arm shot up and her hand enclosed around his fist.

He glanced up at her in surprise when she pushed against his metal arm, stopping his fist from colliding with her jaw. He grunted as he mustered up more strength in an attempt to break out of her grasp to no avail. They were evenly matched in strength. 

He had no idea who she was but now he was certain of one thing. They both had super soldier serum running through their veins. 

*yn* took advantage of Bucky’s surprise and lifted a leg up, kicking him squarely in the stomach, her stiletto heel digging into his skin. Bucky spluttered as he felt the wind get knocked out of him, loosening his grip on her arms. *yn* reacted quickly, knocking his feet from underneath him and jumping on top of him. 

Bucky groaned as his back hit the concrete floor and *yn* straddled him, pinning both of his arms above his head with one hand and pressing her dagger to his throat with the other.

“I think I liked you better when I was showing you up in front of your friend.” She remarked as she pressed the blade firmly against his skin.

“And I think I liked you better when you were dancing on me and not trying to kill me.” Bucky spat back as he squirmed underneath her causing *yn* to cock her head to the side, an amused expression on her features.

“Now whoever said I wanted to kill you?” 

“Hmm I don’t know, could be the knife you’ve got against my throat.” He growled, wincing as the metal dug even further into his flesh. *yn* let out a breathy laugh as she leant down towards his face.

“Trust me pretty boy, if I wanted to kill you, you’d already be dead.” 

The sound of footsteps approaching and Sam calling Bucky’s name made both their heads jerk towards the door before Bucky could answer her. This time it was Bucky’s turn to take advantage of *yn* being caught off guard. He managed to wriggle his metal arm out of her iron like grip and instantly lurched up to grab her around the throat. 

*yn* spluttered in surprise, instinctively dropping her dagger to use both her hands to struggle against his vice like grip. Bucky used all of his core strength to push her off him and roll himself on top of her. Now he was so close up to her and under bright light, he could see that her skin was littered with small scars and bullet holes. 

*yn*’s face was slowly growing red as she desperately gasped for air, her body squirming underneath him as she clawed at his metal arm. “I’m not going to ask you again, who the hell are you?” Bucky spat, glaring down at her as he desperately searched her eyes for some sort of answer.

“I don’t-” She spluttered, “I didn’t come here to hurt you, please-” She continued, her voice barely a whisper as her airway grew more restricted. For the first time since Bucky had locked eyes with her, he could see some form of fear and desperation reflecting back at him. The pair eyed each other for a few moments before Bucky slowly eased his grip around her throat, just enough for her to regain some air. *yn* gasped at the feeling of oxygen entering her lungs once more.

“Woah, what the fuck-” 

Bucky looked up to see Sam, Sharon and Zemo staring at the pair with wide eyes, all three of them with their weapons raised. 

“What part of stay out of trouble did you not understand?” Sharon queried, an exacerbated expression on her features.

“Trouble found me.” Bucky answered gruffly as he looked back down at *yn*. The fear that had been present on her features only moments ago had vanished, the cocky and flirtatious mask had been slipped back on. 

“Not that I really mind this position, but given that the cavalry’s arrived, do you mind getting off me?” *yn* asked Bucky coolly. 

Bucky’s lips pressed into a thin line, clearly unamused at her remark as he studied her. “You’re not going to try and kill me again?” 

“I already told you, I don’t want to kill you.” *yn* huffed, rolling her eyes. 

Bucky studied her for a few moments before finally relenting and releasing her throat from his grip. He pushed himself off her and rose to his feet but not before grabbing her dagger and sliding it into his suit pants. 

*yn* got herself up from the ground, her breathing still ragged as she ran a hand through her hair and tucked her strays behind her ears. 

“You wanna tell us who this is Bucky?” Sharon asked, eyeing *yn* up and down.

“Supposedly her name is *yn*-”

“-not supposedly, it is *yn*.”

“-she seems to like not answering questions about herself.” Bucky ignored *yn*’s input. “Oh and she’s had the super soldier serum.” 

“Might want to keep an eye on your friend over there, I know he’s in the habit of murdering anyone who’s come within walking distance of the stuff.” *yn* remarked dryly shooting Zemo a dirty look. 

“Hello to you too darling.” Zemo grinned causing Sharon to roll her eyes.

“Who are you? Who the hell do you work for?” Sharon quizzed her.

“I don’t work for anyone.” *yn* snapped back.

“The flag smashers?” Sam asked causing *yn*’s face to contort into a look of disgust. “Fuck no, I don’t work with those amateurs.” 

“Just tell us what you want or I’m going to have to detain you.” Sharon spoke. There was a brief pause as *yn* studied Sharon before looking over to Bucky.

“You’re not the only one looking for answers, зимний солдат.” She answered quietly, her features softening for a moment as she looked at him.

“Well then maybe we can help each other get answers then.” Bucky murmured back.

The pair studied each other for a few moments before a loud honk suddenly sounded outside. Gun shots rang out from underneath them followed by loud screams and shouts. Bucky, Zemo, Sam and Sharon looked around in confusion as the sound of hundreds of footsteps began to grew louder and louder. 

“Sorry kids, that’s my ride. Gotta fly.”

Within a few seconds the door burst open and hundreds of party goers flooded the room, shouting for help as they fled from the gun fire. Bucky glanced over to where *yn* had been only a few seconds ago to see that she was sprinting towards the only window in the room. 

Bucky pushed through the panicked crowd, watching helplessly as *yn* reached the raised window. She clambered up onto the ledge and shoved the window open. She glanced over her shoulder and the pair locked eyes when Bucky was practically within arms length of her. 

“I’ll be sure to send Doctor Nagel your regards, Buck.” She taunted. “We should do this again sometime, maybe without trying to hurt each other.” She smirked, sending him a wink before leaping off the ledge. Bucky scrambled up onto the ledge and poked his head out to see *yn* sliding down a pipe fixed to the outside of the building. 

He watched helplessly as her stilettos hit the ground. She approached a waiting motorcycle, the driver holding out a helmet for her expectantly. She took the helmet and slung her leg over the seat, sliding her helmet on as the driver throttled the engine. She looked up to the window and gave Bucky a wave before wrapping her arms around the driver’s waist.

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed as he watched the motorbike peel off into the bustling street, going completely unnoticed by the rest of the public amid the chaos. 

“She’s gone?” Sam queried as the other three appeared beside Bucky at the window.

“Hm.” Bucky grunted, clenching his jaw in annoyance as he watched the motorbike disappear from sight. 

“She was kind of terrifying.” Sam remarked matter of factly. 

“I thought for sure she was going to gut you, James.” Zemo observed.

Bucky stayed silently, clearly brooding as he stared out into the street as Sam studied him in amusement. 

“I think Bucky’s in love.” 

PART TWO (NAGEL)

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зимний солдат = winter soldier

Желание, Ржавый, Семнадцать = Longing, Rusted, Seventeen.

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I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH!?!? As always feedback is appreciated!!!! Please give it back here xx

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy jack tubbo and george

requested yes/no

part 5 of the great adventures series

summary: training for the military

warning: cursing

AN: really sorry about this tumblr won’t let me change/add paragraphs so could look very weird

the journey there was quick for you, you spent the trip asleep in the back of the car whilst the others were discussing what you were all about to do “How difficult do you think it’s going to be” “dude it’s a military assault course” you woke up halfway there to the noise of the radio playing “afternoon y/n”“afternoon sorry I fell asleep I’m not used to being woken up early in the morning, I blame you guys and ranboo”“y/n have you ever wanted to join the military” “I can't say I have no” “well you’re going to love what we’re doing” “what are we doing” “you’ll see!”

you stood picking up more rocks and handing them to tubbo whilst Tommy and George began to film the introduction to the vlog “were in the jungle” confused you turned to tubbo “psst tubbo what the fuck are we doing, why are we in a woods” before tubbo had time to answer Tommy already began to answer your question telling you that you’re all training for the military, not taking him seriously you started laughing as you all were walking it was only when you were handed a jumpsuit to cover your clothes you realised it wasn’t a joke, you would be lying if you said you were ready for this, after all, you spent your free time playing Minecraft you wasn’t exactly great at sports

you managed to put the jumpsuit on pretty quickly unlike Tommy who was quite clearly struggling to get it on over his trainers “come on sergeant simons were doing a military assault course and you’re struggling to put on the clothes”after struggling to put clothes on the five of you stood together getting photos whilst you all looked decent “me and my boys in the jungle” “This isn’t going to go well” “we’re going to destroy it” “NO”

you hadn’t even reached the course yet and you were already tripping up over rocks and sticks that were on the muddy trail “we’re walking to our deaths..y/n is already falling over” “Hey I didn’t sign up to do exercise” once you finally reached the start of the course you were met with a canon, a dog and a man in a yellow jumper you stood as a team listening to what you were about to do and how you were actually a team of six, you hoped he meant the dog was a team member but no turns out the canon was the sixth member

“We have to take the canon with us” “...and take it apart into six pieces at each obstacle and rebuild it ” you handed your phone to the Russ, not trusting yourself to keep it on you especially since you were already tripping up before reaching the assault course “thank you” “good luck” “huh” you didn’t have time to process what was said as Mr military began counting down from three, the five of you ran to the first obstacle tubbo dragging the canon Tommy climbed over the net first with tubbo following after “What happens if I fall” it was as though you and tubbo had read each other’s mind as you both responded with “you’ll die” “death” you climbed over next with a wheel “reckon I can slide down the net” “that will hurt y/n don’t do- and you’re already doing it” you slid down the net despite George telling you not to do so, it didn’t take too long for the others to get over, you all began reassembling the canon “can we talk about our feelings” “I feel like shit I jumped out of a plane not long ago now I feel like I’m doing PE all over again” “Y/N JUST HELP BUILD THE CANON” “I'M TRYING ODDLY ENOUGH I'M NOT BUILT FOR THE MILITARY”once the canon was built Tommy and tubbo ran off with it “who’s going to tell them we need to test it” once Mr military shouted they ran back “why do we have to do this” “it’s the fucking rules Tommy and life is full of them” “like taxes” “tax fraud” a few seconds later the five of you yelled “bang” neither of you saying it at the same time “it didn’t work” “yes it did now come on”

you all ran towards the next obstacle, a giant wall. you all quickly dismantled the canon, Tommy went over first and began bickering with Mr military about him not being his dad whilst you tubbo and jack struggled to pass over the heaviest part of the canon “lift and lift” “really George? I thought we could just throw it over and hope he catches it” “Please don’t do that” “I am very sorry George but I'm struggling here” you continued your struggling tubbo tried to help Tommy through his words “you’re strong bossman I believe in you” “by the way, you really picked the shortest people to do this” part of the canon landed with a thud “welp hope he’s not dead” you climbed over next again carrying the wheel “he’s not dead guys don’t worry” you laughed as George took his time getting over the wall “I'm poving” “GET OVER THE WALL” you all stood questioning what time you were on completely forgetting that you were supposed to reassemble the canon “This is going to be embarrassing” “you guys could be rebuilding the canon” you could have built and tested the canon quickly however Tommy George and tubbo began telling people to subscribe whilst you built the canon with jack “we’re so good at this” “heh maybe not” you all test-fired the canon and made your way to the next obstacle

you were sent to go over the rope first, this was extremely difficult for you, the rope kept swaying as you walked causing you to lose your balance on multiple occasions “step on the V” “I’m going to fall” you made it over after a couple of minutes, like tubbo you also felt a bit ill, you assumed it was because it was quite hot and a lot was going on “how you feeling y/n” “Honestly, I’m jealous of ranboo, he’s at home living his best life and I’m in the middle of the woods overheating and climbing but no it’s pretty funny watching the others” you laughed as you overheard tubbo talking about how they’re only three obstacles in and how he’s going to die “YOU GOT THIS TUBBO!” Tommy crossed next, like you, he took his time he was then followed by tubbo who was trying to speed run walking over the rope you waited for jack and George cheering them on whilst Tommy was asking around for water and complaining about wearing a gamer hoodie. at this point, everyone seemed unmotivated “3 2 1.. bang”

“oh lovely..tires” tubbo went through first with the heaviest part of the canon “ill help you tubbo” you following behind helping him carry it due to it being stupidly heavily “so how are you tubbo” “AAAAAAAAAAA” “aye me too bud” you and tubbo decided that from now you two were going to work as a pair so it would be easier for you both, over the past few weeks tubbo became one of your closest friends the pair of you even started trending on Twitter as you did an irl stream where you both went on a walk at the beach and met several fans. whilst you and tubbo were making your way through Tommy jack and George we’re trying to figure out who should take what. “there’s piss in this one” “what the fuck?!” the pair of you finally got out from the tires “good job you two” “thank you” you rested your head on tubbos shoulder trying to get your breath back “I don’t think I’m made for the military” a few moments later Tommy made it to the tire full of water and put his finger in it “PEE” “Tommy why-” you stood looking around at the scenery, the sound of Tommy yelling about crawling away from George and that he’s ‘touched the piss’ was enough the drag you away from your own thoughts, you watched the others struggling to get through the tires and was amazed at the fact tubbo went back in to help them. you tried to ignore Tommy and George being dramatic as you tried to figure out how many more obstacles you had to go but you got distracted by George “ill just eat you if you die” “Mr military I’d like some help right about now” you walked over to Tommy and helped him get out of the tires “thanks y/n” “welcome” “how you doing bossman you know I pulled through your part...what are you doing that’s George's water” Tommy decided to throw the bottle to you so you could have a drink as he remembered you’d not had a drink since you landed from jumping out of the plane “Thanks, Tommy” “YOU BOTH DRANK GEORGES WATER” “he can drink the piss” “what Tommy said” you laughed as you walked over to where jack was in the tires “ HI JACK” “Jesus christ you scared me, hi y/n” you stood waiting for everyone to finish “I know exactly what the slowest time was” “we’re going for a new record it’s fine” “of being the slowest?” “yeah” “you know what Mr military ill clart you” “you’ll what me” “I’m gonna just go over here” you walked over to where parts of the canon were and got ready to assemble it again whilst George began throwing water over jack and tubbo to bless them then did the same to Tommy, you hid behind a tree thinking he wouldn’t notice you, however, he did and within a minute you too had water poured on you “Thanks, I was thirsty” “oh we know” “The fuck is that supposed to mean” “HELP BUILD THE CANON PLEASE” like last time you all built the canon tested it and ran to the next obstacle

“can we just you know drag the already built canon under there with us” “absolutely not” “I tried” you all disassembled it again and like last time you and tubbo went first crawling under “I don’t want to alarm you all but it is soaking wet in here” “delightful” a few moments later you were both working well “tubbo I’m scared of the dark and it’s pitch black” “you’ve got this bossman we’re almost done” you calmed down quickly until Tommy decided to jump above the pair of you

“SORRY” “TOMMY I SWEAR TO GOD” “YOU DICK” you laughed slightly and tubbo checked up on you “you okay?” “I'm fine if you’re fine” “come on let’s finish this thing” the pair of you continued and finished relatively quickly tubbo got out first “NEVER AGAIN” “Sorry about that buddy” “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU” you helped push part of the canon out so tubbo could easily drag it out he then reached out so you could hold his hand and help pull you out “I've never been so happy to see the light” the pair of you sat on the floor waiting for the others to finish, you both made a bet on who was going to laugh first somehow you won as tubbo laughed at George and jack struggling to crawl through “YOU LAUGHED” “OH SHITTT” Russ came over to you both whilst recording so he could ask about how everything’s going “I’m covered in mud and the jumpsuit is wet, it isn’t a good day for the y/n community it was dark as hell in there “Tommy is a dick and tried to kill me and y/n” “I DIDN'T TRY TO KILL YOU BOTH” “I think he heard us” “WE ALL DID WERE NOT DEAF” “NO, BUT ACCORDING TO INSTAGRAM YOU'RE DEAD” you stared directly into the camera “sometimes it’s like I still hear jack talking to me” George and jack started complaining about how much further the is to go and how it was dirty and Tommy's response about being sorry it doesn’t fit their tory lifestyle made you burst out laughing “YOU LAUGHED” “tubbo my beloved you laughed ages ago you’ve already lost” “But we’re equal now” “no” the pair of you stood bickering to the point you didn’t realise the others had finished the obstacle and were shouting for you to test the canon “Y/N TUBBO WE NEED TO TEST THE CANON” the pair of you ran over “3 2 1 BANG”

“just going to warn you all you see that black cloud over there” “oh yay a storm is coming” you grabbed a wheel and followed behind jack across the wooden bridge “y/n he’s been splintered” “oh no poor George” “these are my gaming fingers” “no gaming for you I guess” “Stop talking about gaming dickheads” you spent a lot of time talking to George and jack whilst crossing over trying not to fall over you all even made a few plans to stream a laugh and the stream ends on jacks channel soon

you were all building the canon again whilst being informed you weren’t even halfway through and already 40 minutes in “high score” “well it’s definitely high” “Y/N??” “coming tubbo hang on my shoelace came undone” after tying your shoelace you grabbed a wheel and caught up to tubbo “if you go over tubbo ill pass it over to you and we can keep doing that” this method worked well for you both tubbo would climb over you would pass the wheel and middle part of the canon then climb over and repeat the process you heard Tommy in the background complaining about the fact he’s wearing jeans and jacks response “Yeah but I’m wearing jeans” “tubbo and y/n are almost done and you’re complaining about jeans” “jean boy pops off” “I'M WEARING JEANS AS WELL QUIT COMPLAINING” “Can we just go home and play smash bros” “Tommy this was your idea I didn’t even get on an option” “Sorry about that y/n but you get to spend time with me and gogy” “lucky me” you weren’t going to lie this was hard work and you were exhausted you felt like you could just fall asleep right where you were stood however tubbo wasn’t going to let that happen “I’m never going on an adventure with Tommy again” “me either” this of course was bullshit and you were both going on another adventure soon you stood watching your friends struggle to get over the obstacles you decided to offer your support and went to help jack and George using a similar method to that you used with tubbo “thanks y/n” “anytime” “y/n you could have helped me, tubbo pulled me over I could have been injured” “very sorry to hear that sergeant simons sucks to suck I guess” you all reassembled the canon tested it and ran to the next obstacle “I hate it here” “there’s a storm on the way” “Thanks, y/n for the input” “welcome George” you all noticed the net luckily you didn’t have to disassemble the canon this very well could be because you were running far behind and a storm was on its way. you watched as the others went through and joked about tubbo losing his shoe and Tommy getting stuck, this obstacle wasn’t made for you either as you kept getting caught on the net “I'VE BEEN CAUGHT AGAIN” jack lifted the net for you again so you could easily crawl through “thank you jack” you all then made it to the next obstacle Tommy crawled on the metal bars with you following after him whilst George used the monkey bars once you all made it across you had to walk across many metal planks used to form a bridge Tommy walked close behind you knowing you were extremely clumsy and didn't want you to fall “irl nettles” “The fuck are you on about Tommy I don’t think you’re following my advice about going outside” you all dissembled the canon as you got to the tires the only difference this time was you needed to climb over them “it’s rather windy” “there’s dirt in my eye” like before you and tubbo used the same method “look at them go” “I LIKE A DA BEE” “I'M SCARED OF BEES” “oh okay” “Why do they keep taking the plank” “I don’t know tubbo just takes it and y/n follows” you both finished rather quickly and neither of you got injured or fell “really good job you two” “thank you Mr military” you stood leaning on tubbo watching George pick up random rocks and put them into his pocket similar to what you had been doing the entire way around the course “I don’t think George or y/n have been outside before they keep picking things up like souvenirs” “Y/N GEORGE HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE RAIN BEFORE” both of you just stared at Tommy making him laugh you helped the others get across the tires and even helped prevent Tommy from falling a couple of times. unfortunately, you ended up twisting your ankle but tried to ignore it not wanting to ruin the vlog for anyone, not that you would have, however it was clear you were in pain as you had started limping. one at a time you all crossed the rope “This is me climbing I am climbing” you cheered everybody on and then it was your turn

unlike the others the rope kept shaking as you walked across mainly because you were scared of falling and in pain all whilst trying to rush, this was clearly your least favourite obstacle of the day “take your time y/n don’t fall” “thank you jack I'm trying my best I promise” once at the end of the rope, Tommy took the wheel off you and helped you get down and pulled you into a quick side hug “you’re doing great let’s go we’re almost done” you knew your friends wouldn’t make you continue if you really didn’t want to however you were nearly finished and was determined to finish. you all reassembled the canon and made your way to the next obstacle

“there’s no way we’re getting through that without twanging a rope” “good luck” you and tubbo made your way through the ropes trying not to hit them, this proved to be a pretty impossible task and you ended up twanging the ropes several times, this mixed with everyone else’s failure to cross without hitting the rope meant you all had to do 20 push-ups, after reassembling the canon twice as you all didn’t do it correctly the first time and testing it you all had to do the push-ups “I’m sure y/n and George only did 3” “sorry bossman”

you all were finally making your way to the last obstacle determined to finish “Big Russ can we go to McDonald's after this” “sure” the five of you cheered and ran the last obstacle quickly disassembling the canon, you led the way over the obstacle tubbo Tommy jack and George following behind you, despite tubbo losing his shoe and George going backwards the five of you quickly completed the obstacle and reassembled and tested the canon running over to the finishing line

you all finally completed it and waited for your result “45 minutes easily” “1 hour 11 minutes and 46 seconds” “no way that’s a world record” “well we tried” the five of you stood telling people to subscribe before ending the recording and making your way back to the car

the car ride back felt a lot longer than the way there. you were all exhausted

“how’s your ankle” “it’s not too bad it’ll probably hurt more tomorrow morning”

“I'm still not over Tommy trying to kill me and tubbo” “I didn’t try to kill you” “sure” the rest of the journey was chaos you all screamed along to the songs on the radio eventually you all got to McDonald's and spent the rest of the night enjoying each other’s company.

taglist

@l0ver0fj0y @c1loudee

[appplepii]

tears over beers (jean kirschtein x fem!reader)

genre: angst w a happy ending, fluff, modern au

warnings: unprotected sex, mouth spitting, praise kink kinda?? choking, etc VERY NSFW hehe, fuckboy eren (slight eren x reader), mentions of alcohol and drug use

word count: 4.1k

summary:

     You don’t know your own worth, and Jean is getting sick of it.

     Jean remembers the first time he ever laid eyes on you. He remembers the way his stomach flipped when you sat in the empty seat next to him and introduced yourself, a kind smile on your face. He also remembers the moment Eren walked in and caught your eye, and the dread that laid heavy in his chest when your cheeks grew pink. Despite the fact you had just met, he couldn’t help but have distain for the boy the moment he smiled back at you, causing you to become shy and flustered. Why weren’t you nervous to talk to him?

     That’s a question the boy came to ask himself more times than he would ever admit, despite the fact that it’s been years. You and Jean had become a constant for each other, someone that was always there no matter what happened, or how much time passed. It was no question that you had become his best friend (except Marco, of course). There were certain things keeping you together that had Jean convinced it was fate keeping you in his life, from the moment you had graduated high school and decided to go to the same college that was hours away, to you working at his favorite coffee shop near the campus. That philosophy was not a strong willed one, being shot down every time you would tell him about a certain boy you were still hung up on. It was times like that that Jean thought maybe you in his life was a sort of punishment. What did he do to deserve the feeling of having what you want most in life in arms reach and never getting it?

     Years had passed at this point though, and Jean got used to the feeling of pretending he didn’t care. It got easier over time, the boy had become accepting of his fate. He was, and always will be the best friend. It was a little hard on his pride, but it definitely beats not having you in his life at all. That’s why Jean thought he would be fine when he accepted the invite to Marco’s party in which the entire friend group had been invited. A part of him was excited, knowing it had been awhile since the last reunion. Another part of him thought about the fact that he would be there, and he felt frustration slowly build inside him.

     “Ah, I’m so excited! It’s been a minute since we’ve seen everyone, huh?” The smile on your face made up his mind, knowing he could never say no to you. Jean chuckled and shook his head “Yeah yeah, it should be better than staying in that cramped dorm room doing homework” You furrowed your eyebrows, halfheartedly pushing his arm. “Oh shut up, not everyone has a mommy who can pay for a nice big apartment on this side of town.” You snickered, and Jean froze up, redness rising to his cheeks. “S-shut up! She has nothing to do with this, plus you know I’ve invited you to move in how many times now? I have an extra room that just sits empty, you know.” You shook your head and smiled “You know that my part-time job is not enough to cover rent and bills, Jean”. It was at this point Jean dropped the conversation, knowing he was fighting a lost cause. He tried explaining to you many times before he would let you stay for free, and Jean realized just how much you dislike charity work, even if it was never that to him.

     “Anyway, are you ready yet? We’re gonna be late now.” Jean ranted, looking up at the ceiling and scratching the back of his head. “Yes, you can stop complaining you loudmouth.” You bent over and put on your heel, standing back up and flattening out the wrinkles in your clothes. It was then Jean had taken a proper look at you, taking in the nicest outfit he had seen you wear in a long time, albeit quite revealing. His eyes trailed up your bare legs, and he could feel himself go slightly weak in the knees. You really were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He cleared his throat, bringing his gaze back up to your face (though unable to look you in the eyes). “Okay, we can take my car.” He grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter, opening the front door and waiting for you to walk out first. Jean’s attention was brought back to you when he noticed your hesitation. His face grew a curious expression as he looked at you expectedly. “y/n? Are you-” “Are you sure I look okay? I mean.. Eren is gonna be there, do you think he’ll like my outfit?” Your eyes were glued to the ground, and your blush had become apparent as you played with your fingers.

     Jean swallowed, pushing the dreadful and nauseous feeling from the fact you had been thinking about him down. He knew you had kept Eren in mind, but he wished he could ignore it just a little longer. “You look amazing, anyone who would pass up the chance to have you is a fucking idiot, y/n.” It was at this moment you made eye contact with the boy, the gentle smile he saw when he first met you making itself visible. “Thank you, Jean. I really couldn’t ask for a better friend.” Although you had meant it as a compliment to him, all it seemed to do was twist the knife he had in his stomach for so many years that much deeper. All he could bring himself to do was smile and nod, gesturing for you to go out the door to the car.

     He unlocked the doors to his blacked out Camaro, the top coming down to reveal black leather seats (his favorite birthday present, that car was his baby.). After opening the door for you, something he had made a habit of these past years, he got into the drivers seat. Putting the car in drive, you connected your phone to Bluetooth. He always let you play the music whenever you drove together. “Ooo, I have to turn this up!” You said enthusiastically, pushing the system in his car to its limit as you screamed the lyrics and danced. Jean let his eyes leave the road for a moment to glance at you, his heart swelling at the way your hair flew around you face from the wind. He really did have it bad when it came to you.

     “Okay, I’m pretty sure this is Marco’s new place. Should we head in now?” He asked, taking the keys out of the ignition and turning to stare at you. You heaved in a deep breath before fixing your hair in the mirror, and nodding to the boy. “Yeah, let’s go.” He said nothing as he got out of the car, immediately going to your door and opening it. That was something you had to get used to, you didn’t like to feel like you were of some importance. You let it go though, once you saw how insistent he was on doing it, ranting about how he had to be a gentleman or something like that. You grabbed the hand he offered out to you, standing up and walking to the front door of the home.

     Jean didn’t bother knocking, instead opening up the front door and walking in like he owned the place. This didn’t surprise you though, besides yourself Marco was Jean’s closest friend. The two were like brothers and you knew Jean was excited to see him after so long. “Jean! I missed that stupid face, how are you, loser?” Ymir hooked an arm around the boy’s neck, clearly already slightly intoxicated. Jean let out a string of cuss words, wrestling out of the tall girl’s strong grip as you turned your attention to her much smaller girlfriend, Historia. “Hey Historia! It’s been awhile, huh?” You smiled at the girl. She had always been so sweet, and you thought her and Ymir balanced each other out perfectly. “It has! Although it doesn’t look like those two have changed much.” You laughed at the pair and how ridiculous they looked before turning your attention to the kitchen.

     “Jean,” you tugged on this sleeve “will you come with me to get some drinks?” You didn’t let him answer, knowing it would be a yes. He silently followed you to the kitchen, smirking at himself when he realized how assertive you had become, especially when you used to be so shy. You began pouring yourself a shot of vodka, “Damn, this early?” Jean laughed as you shrugged your shoulders before downing the drink, wiping your lips on the back of your hand. “Look, we gotta get the night started somehow, right?” You raised your eyebrow as you held out the next shot you poured to his face. He gave you a smug expression, knowing you were challenging him although he has proven on more than once occasion that he can out-drink you. He kept quiet though, and threw the shot back with ease. You smiled at him, each of you taking one more just to get started.

     “Oh shit, when did you get here dude?” Marco stepped into his kitchen, going straight to Jean and did a simple handshake. “Not too long ago. Anyway, look at you! Got this big ass place all to yourself, huh?” Marco shook his head and laughed, not good at taking praise. The two friends talked for awhile, Jean feeling himself relax with the slight buzz from the alcohol. It had been only a couple minutes the conversation lasted, you talking a little when you had been mentioned. Jean’s attention was pulled from Marco when he saw you tense up from the corner of your eye, noticeably becoming more shy than you previously were. His gaze followed yours, when he was met with the one thing he really hoped not to see. 

     Eren sat on the couch, leaning back into with his arms spread out against the back of it, a beer in his hand as he occasionally took drinks from it. Your stomach turned when you saw him because fuck, he looked really good. His black long-sleeve and jeans were simple, but maybe it was the bun he had in his hair that made you almost start drooling. It took everything in Jean’s power not to let out a scoff at how obvious you were being, and how stupid the entire situation was. “Just stop, Jean. It’s not worth it. She doesn’t want you.” His own thoughts definitely brought down his happy mindset, trying his best to ignore the sympathetic look Marco was giving him. 

     He watched as Eren’s eyes met yours, his smile growing as he gestured you over to sit next to him. You got impossibly redder as you nodded and smiled, looking up at Jean and silently asking if he was okay on his own. He didn’t hold back his scoff at that, waving you off. “These are my friends too, remember? I’ll be fine, go ahead.” Your smile widened as you immediately turned and bee-lined to where Eren was sitting. The pain Jean felt had a sort of sick nostalgia to it, reminding him of the day he witnessed the blush on your face when Eren had walked through the door. Taking a deep breath and clapping his hands together, he feigned the most convincing smile he had and turned towards Marco.

“I need another shot!”

     “So what was that about?” Eren laughed lowly, tilting his head toward Jean after you took the seat he offered. “Huh? What do you mean?” You questioned, completely oblivious to what he was hinting at. “You looked like you were asking him for permission to sit with me or something, he isn’t your boyfriend or anything right?” You didn’t know why, but this comment slightly annoyed you. Maybe it was the condescending tone he put on, or the subtle diss to your best friend. You didn’t know, but it didn’t sit right. Shrugging it off you decided he probably didn’t mean in that way and you put on a smile. “Nah, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t ditching him. He’s my best friend.” Eren gave an exaggerated sigh of relief as a smug expression took over his features. “Well, that sure is a relief.” He says smoothly, putting a hand on your knee.

     You felt nothing but confusion when you didn’t get butterflies, but another hint of annoyance. What is wrong with you? You’ve liked Eren for years, this should be a dream come true! But it wasn’t, and things were moving too fast for you at the moment. It’s not like you were a “prude” or anything, you just couldn’t push down the bad feeling you had in your gut. “Uh haha, yeah! Can you give me a sec? I really have to use the bathroom!” Eren assured it was no problem, and you quickly stood up causing his hand to slip off of your knee. You walked a little faster than you normally would to the bathroom, turning and locking the door behind you. You felt nothing but frustration toward yourself, why are you being this way? Before this moment, if Eren would have asked you to hook up, you thought you would have gladly said yes. You enjoyed texting him and you found him very attractive, so what is this dread?

     You fixed your hair and outfit as much as you could, trying to freshen up before you go back into the crowded living room. On your way back to the couch where you were sitting, you decided to stop at the kitchen and take two more shots. Maybe it was your nerves and the anticipation that caused your hesitation, the alcohol should help with that. Taking a deep breath, you readied yourself and headed back to your spot. Turning your gaze to where Eren had been, you froze. There he was, with a random girl sitting on his lap as he whispered in her ear.

-

     Jean sighed, stepping into the guest bedroom and sitting on the bed. He ran his hands through his hair and silently cursed himself. He wanted to have fun, he really did. But the moment he saw that flustered expression of yours from Eren’s presence, all he wanted to do was go home and feel bad for himself. His thoughts were racing, and it was probably the alcohol but he found himself becoming more angry than sad. Why didn’t you want him? He deserved you, he had always been there and he knows he could treat you so much better than that douchebag ever could. You deserve better, and fuck, so does he.

     The sound of the door being pushed open broke him out of his thoughts, and he was more than surprised to see you entering. He could already tell you were upset, he just couldn’t put his finger on the reason why. “Weren’t you with-” “I go to the bathroom for two minutes and he immediately starts trying to get into another girl’s pants? Can you believe that? I mean honestly” You continued your rant to Jean, but it was falling on deaf ears. He was getting more and more frustrated, the feeling settling in his bones as he tried to calm himself down. “I mean we aren’t dating, but all of our friends saw me sitting with him, you know how stupid he made me look? I just-” Jean whipped his head at you, a sharp glare meeting your gaze. “You want me to be real with you, y/n? He didn’t make you look stupid. You do that yourself pretty well.” The room went dead silent. You considered for a moment he was messing with you, and you let out a laugh of disbelief. “Jean what the fuck-” He stood up from his spot, his glare only hardening.

     “No! Just stop for a second. I’m so sick and tired of you fucking complaining to me when it’s you who chooses to settle for assholes who obviously don’t care about you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just a fucking idiot. But I know you’re not, and thats what frustrates me so much, you know that? You treat yourself like shit and then want me to be there to be the person who makes you feel better. I can’t do it anymore, I really can’t.” His voice had risen a little, but that wasn’t what got to you. It was the seriousness in his tone, you knew he was being genuine. Your eyes welled up with tears, feeling like you just got punched. “Jean, I-”

     “Let me finish y/n. I have always been there for you. Always. Despite the fact that you never got over Eren. Every time he ghosted you, who was there? You know what that’s like? To watch the person you’ve been in love with for years settle for the first asshole who comes her way? Do you have any idea what that does to me? You do realize you’ve been fucking torturing me for the last four years, right?” Your mouth went completely dry, and for the first time since this conversation began, you looked him in the eyes and felt even worse when you saw the glassiness of them. Your breath got shallow as your emotions intensified, your mind racing of all the times you had literally cried on his shoulder, and you thought of how bad he must have been hurting. He kept it to himself for your sake, not wanting you feel upset or worry about him, and you never noticed a thing. Fuck, how could you have been so selfish?

     You didn’t even think about it, your body moving on what felt like autopilot when you grabbed the boy by his collar and pulled him into a kiss. He stiffened, obviously very surprised at your action, before putting his hands on your shoulders and pulling back. His face was a cherry red when he searched your features, shaking his head with a sad expression. “y/n, I don’t want you to do this out of pity. Plus, you’re probably shit-faced right now.” You shook your head and put your hands on his wrists, keeping eye contact with him. “I’m only buzzed Jean, and this isn’t out of pity. A part of me has always loved you. I just have a habit of ruining things in my life and I really didn’t want you to be one of them.” Your eyes got impossibly wetter and a part of you was surprised they hadn’t fallen down your cheeks yet.

     Jean remained silent for what seemed like hours as he examined you expression. His eyes softened and you heart stopped when his hand went to the back of your neck to pull you into another heated kiss. It was a natural reflex the way you gripped onto the front of his shirt, your heart beating at a race you didn’t even know was possible. “Damn, he's a good kisser.” you thought to yourself. You gasped slightly at the feeling of his tongue brushing against your bottom lip. You deepened the kiss and fell back on the bed, pulling him down with you. He pulled away, breathing heavily when a smile grew on his face. “Where are you?” He got up from his position on top and walked to the door, turning the lock with a click. He stalked back to where you were sitting, standing between your legs as he towered over you. “I’ve waited for this for years, I’m not going to wait any longer.”

      Excitement bubbled in your stomach as you looked up at him, a slight pout to your lips. Jean reached his hand down to your face, squeezing both of your cheeks to even further tilt your gaze towards him. “How about it then, pretty girl? Wanna have some fun?” You didn’t hesitate to respond, trying your best to nod in his tight grip. “Yes, please Jean, please.” Although your voice was a little muffled, Jean got the message loud and clear. He gave a soft smile, furthering his hand down to lightly squeeze your throat instead. “Okay then, open wide angel.” You felt a little confused but listened anyway, opening your mouth wide for the boy above you. “What is he gonna-” your thoughts were cut off when you watched, almost in slow motion as Jean leaned over and spit into your open mouth. You froze for a fraction of a second, your mind racing as the excitement grew within you. That’s not what you were expecting but you were not complaining. Jean’s long index finger tilted your chin up, closing your mouth as he kept eye contact with you. “Swallow.” He said in a gentle yet demanding tone, and you knew you couldn’t make yourself say no to him. You swallowed the spit slowly, choosing to keep quiet and wait for his next move.

     “Look at you, such a good girl.” he pushed your body further up the bed so you were laying rather than sitting and once again hovered over you. “Gonna have to thank you for that, huh?” You squeezed your thighs together at his words, anticipation growing impossibly higher. He sat back on his calves, sitting between your legs as he spread them apart around him. His fingers ghosted up your legs, stopping at the hem of your shorts. He didn’t move an inch after that, looking at you expectedly. “Well, I’m waiting? You know all good girls ask nicely, right?” He couldn’t stop the smug expression from taking over even if he tried. You squirmed in his hold, desperate for some sort of contact. “Please Jean, I can’t wait anymore. I need you.” You closed your eyes as you felt him unbutton your shorts, sliding them off with ease along with your panties. “Gotta make sure you’re comfortable baby, tell me if it hurts, kay?” He slowly entered a finger inside you, his thumb circling around your clit slowly. Your lip was pulled in between your teeth as you bit down hard enough to almost draw blood. “Oh, fuck.” He softly laughed at that, going slightly faster to elicit more reactions from you. “That’s right baby, lemme hear you, yeah?” You didn’t hold back, letting out a moan knowing the music blasting outside would drown it out. Jean added another finger and your eyes rolled to the back of your head, you had never felt bliss like this before.

     “E-enough Jean.” You let out through strained breaths, and Jean felt himself grow cold for second with fear. Fuck, were you regretting this? “I don’t want to wait anymore, I want you inside me. Please.” Jean’s chest filled with relief as he shook his head at you. “You needy baby, alright, I’ll give you what you want.” Jean pulled his fingers out of you, and stuck them in your mouth with no hesitation. “You sure you ready for me, sweet girl?” He pulled his pants and boxers off, lining himself up with you. You nodded frantically, putting your hands on his shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. Jean pushed himself into you, pulling away from the kiss to let out a deep groan as his head fell onto your shoulder. “Fuck, you feel so good around me baby. You’re so good for me, you know that? I’ve wanted this for so long and it’s more than I could have ever imagined.” He ranted on almost senselessly as he was overwhelmed with emotion. “I love you so much, sweet girl. So so much.” You felt tears prick your eyes, from both the pleasure and his sentiment. “I love you Jean, I love you.” those words had more of an affect on him than anything else you said that night, and he felt himself coming close to the edge. “I think I’m gonna-” “Me too baby” he interrupted, placing his hand back on your throat and squeezing. “Cum with me, angel.” His words and the pressure on your neck was enough to send you over, raking your nails down his back leaving marks. He collapsed on top of you, his head resting in your neck as a tired smile rested on his face. You brought your hand up to scratch his scalp, completely fuck-drunk and forgetting of anything else that happened prior to this moment.

     “So that’s why you always open my car door for me, huh?”

✧༺☆༻∞

omg omg im so nervous to post this, not only is it my longest fic but this is the first time i have ever written anything remotely smutty before😳 if its not good pls be patient w me i am very new to this hehe

[vendettaparker]

What a Dumbass [P.P]

Summary: Peter’s mistake leads to you being injured. 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Swearing, like a substantial amount, suggestive content kinda, gun shot wound, and flustered!Peter 

a/n: I really liked writing this. I couldn’t stop laughing at some of the dialogue. and the mistake peter made to cause the whole set-up of the story is so funny to me. like i can legit see him making this mistake. also, i’m gonna make a permanent tag list, so please send me an ask or message me if you want to be on it! <3

        ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     Peter Benjamin Parker is a fucking dumbass. All the time mostly. Most of the time his dumbassery leads to a lot of annoyed avengers, a lot of clean up, and a lot of spilled secrets. Hence why like three people who definitely shouldn’t know he is Spider-man do. But every once in while his idiocy can lead to an unexpected happily ever after, at least until he fucks something up again. 

     This particular fuck up has yet to be determined as a happy accident or your new 13th reason. It all started when that spider bitch decided it’d be a good idea to watch some explicit content on his laptop. Now, this wasn’t particularly an unknown activity for him to partake in, since we all know about his little impromptu purchase in Germany, but unbeknownst to this dork, his aunt was in the next room over working on a tear in his suit. And to make matters worse, he accidentally just so happened to purchase a subscription using said aunt’s credit card that was pre-setup in his laptop. 

     Now May is a very understanding woman. Very sex-positive, very loving, and inclusive; the whole shebang really. So when she happened to catch this idiot doing what he most certainly shouldn’t have been doing, she wasn’t mad, just thoroughly disturbed. Then she got the notification about the purchase. That was a bit more taboo in her eyes. So Peter was grounded from patrolling for a week and his laptop privileges were revoked for two weeks. That was fucking merciful compared to what this whole fuck up put you through. 

     At the school that following Monday, Peter spent the whole first, second, fourth, and lunch period trying to convince you to take over patrol for a week. Sure, you could definitely handle it, not to pat yourself on the back or anything, but you were significantly stronger than Peter, so it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. But you just really didn’t want to. Peter had his ‘Peter Tingle’ to help him find danger, while you’d actually have to look. It just seemed harder for you to do than it would be for him. 

     “Why are you even grounded?” You sighed after Peter's 3rd time bringing up the possibility of you patrolling for him at lunch. 

     “He got caught watching and buying p—” Ned started laughing.

     “Ned! Shut up!” Peter yelled, slapping his hand over his friend's mouth. 

     “How has your identity not been leaked yet, Jesus Christ.” You mumbled, giggling. You flipped through your chemistry textbook, writing notes to prepare for Friday’s quiz. 

     “Yeah, and how come you didn’t know May was home?” Ned pushed Peter’s hand away. “Where was your ‘Peter Tingle’ then?” 

     “She’s not a threat, dude. But shit, I really wish my tingle detected her.” Peter groaned, a deep blush covering his features. “Please (Y/N). I really, really don’t wanna leave Queens without any protection for a week. I’ll try to convince May to let me go out on the weekend, so really it’s only five days.” 

     “I guess I could help you out, but you owe me. I should really spend this time studying for my chemistry test. Iron bitch is gonna have my head on a spike if I fail another chem test.” You said, highlighting more notes. 

     “Okay! Delmar’s for a week, anytime, anywhere.” Peter said putting his hand out for you to shake. 

     “Make it a month, I know my worth.” 

     Peter hesitated, but eventually gave in, “Fine, but you better do a good job.” 

        ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     So now you were stuck patrolling from 8:30 to 11:00 every night. It wasn't bad per se, and nothing too eventful happened. You stopped a small convenience store robbery, gave a few kids some tips at the skatepark, ran some errands for an old lady, and saved a cat from a tree. Thursday night was the real kicker though. Your night had barely started and you accidentally got in the middle of a drug deal between some smaller mob and a real messed-up junkie. This should’ve been an easy takedown, only six people in total that needed to be taken out, but like was mentioned before, you don’t have Peter’s goddamn, stupid fucking tingle. So after taking all six of the perps out you started to walk away after alerting the police. Unfortunately, one of those assclowns had come to, and grabbed the gun a few feet away from him and shot it towards you. The bullet went through your thigh and out the other side. Screaming in shock and pain, you used your own throwing knives and knocked the gun out of the mobster’s hand, then you proceeded to knock him out again with a few good punches to his noggin, maybe a few more, just for good measure. But this wound would need to be cleaned and stitched up. And if you went back to the Tower, Steve and Tony would give you an earful about “watching your surroundings” and “being more careful”. So in a moment of pure adrenaline and desperation, you texted Peter. 

You: are you home

Spider-Dork: Yeah, why?

You: i’ll be there in 5 

Spider-Dork: What? Why? Is everything ok?

Spider-Dork: Hello??? (Y/N)????

(Y/N) declined (3) calls 

Spider-Dork: Answer my calls idiot. 

     Peter’s texting and constant calling was cut short from a crash in his room. 

     “(Y/N)? Is that you?” Peter called from the couch in the living room. 

     “Yeah, can I borrow a t-shirt?” You called, fumbling around accidentally knocking over another lamp. “Oops, sorry!”

     “Uh, yeah sure. In the closet!” Peter called back pausing his show, prepared to make his way over to you. 

     “And some sweats?” You called back, blood dripping all over Peter’s hardwood floor. 

     Peter got up to make his way to his room. “Yeah, second drawer on the left side.” He said as he made his way to his bedroom. Knowing you were in there, most likely changing, he knocked. “You decent?” 

     “Nope, not really. I need a pair of your boxers too, though.” You called through the door, now seeing that the blood splattered on your underwear as well. “Also, bring the first aid kit when you come in.” 

     ‘What? Why?” Peter said in a more stressed tone, pushing his way into the room, completely ignoring the fact that you were very much not decent. “Holy shit.” He said seeing you out of your suit, in your bra and underwear, blood dripping down your right leg, pooling onto the floor. Your hand, red and bloody, pressed onto what he only assumed was the wound and blood seeping through your fingers. 

     “Bring a mop too.” 

     Peter ran out of the room to grab the first aid kit, plus some extra bandages and a cleaning solution. When he came back in he found you in the same state, standing in the middle of the room, eyebrows furrowed in pain, clutching your right thigh. 

     “What the hell happened?” He gasped, motioning for you to sit on his bed. You hesitated, not wanting to mess up his sheets. He seemed to notice your thought process quickly adding, “I have to wash my sheets anyway.” 

     “Gross.” You mumbled, scrunching up your face in disgust and finally settling down on his bed. 

     “Move your hand and tell me what happened,” Peter said kneeling on the floor next to the bed, positioned right at your hips. You removed your hand, bloody instantly seeping onto the bed. Peter winced looking at the hole in your leg, quickly grabbing the peroxide and dumping heaps of it onto your leg, much to your distaste. 

     “I got shot.” You stated as he cleaned the blood around the hole with alcohol pads.

     “Well, no shit. I mean by who and how?” 

     “Mobster. Sneaky bitch got me while I was walking away.” You winced as Peter inspected the wound further. 

     “I need to stitch this up. Did it go all the way through?” He said lifting your leg to look underneath for an exit wound. 

     “Yeah.” Peter found the exit wound and held your leg up with one hand, pouring peroxide on the back of your thigh with the other. 

     “You have to be more careful, (Y/N)! This looks really nasty.” Peter scolded, setting your leg back down and prepping the needle and sutures. “What if this was in your chest? Or—or if you didn’t get here in time? You could’ve bled out!” 

     “Well sorry that I don’t have your stupid tingle to help me out when I’m being fucking shot at!” You yelped, gripping the bedsheets. 

     “You don’t need spidey sense, you need fucking common sense,” Peter mumbled, stitching his first suture.

     “What the fuck did you just say?” You looked at him incredulously. 

     “I— uh, nothing.” Peter huffed, focusing back on stitching you up.

     “This is your all your fault, to begin with!” You accused, shifting uncomfortably, due to the needle constantly being stuck into your leg. “You’re the one that begged me to go on patrol for you! You’re the dumb bitch that got caught watc—” 

     “Ok! Shut up! For God’s sake, you’re never gonna let me live that down.” Peter groaned, finishing up the last stitch. “Flip over.” He commanded, pushing at the side of your waist to help with the movement. 

     “Well, it was fucking dumb. Don’t you check to make sure nobody’s home? God, we all know you’re a vocal bitch too.” You said, fully situated on your stomach. 

     “What the fuck is that suppose to mean!?” He gasped, prepping another needle. 

     “You’re a sensitive boy.” You shrugged, wincing when Peter started his next stitch. 

     “I-I am not sensitive! I’m emotionally and physically staunch!” He defended, going in for another stitch. 

     You just raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Sure, whatever you say, babe.” You winked at him, blowing an exaggerated kiss. 

     “You're a jerk,” Peter mumbled, finishing up his stitching job. “A jerk with a fucked up leg.” 

     You hummed, quite amused. Peter got up and started to collect his medical supplies. He shuffled out of the room to put everything away. When he returned you were trying to get up and walk, wincing at every slight movement. 

     “Here, let me just—” Peter lifted you up, bridal style. A small yelp coming from you when a sharp pain shot through your leg. “Sorry.”

     “It’s fine. Can you help me get dressed?” You said as he walked you over to his desk and set you down in his desk chair. 

     “Sure.” Peter blushed, painfully aware of your lack of clothes. He picked out some clothes from his closet and drawers. He helped you into them, wallowing in the uncomfortable silence, taking in each whimper and wince from you whenever he brushed against your thigh. 

     “Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He sighed after you were all dressed. “This is my fault.” 

     You looked at his distraught face, feeling bad for initially blaming him for the events of tonight. “No, Pete. It’s fine. I should’ve made sure all of the guys were knocked out.” You put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.

     “No, I should’ve been more careful when I was watching that stuff. I have my spidey sense, I would’ve been able to avoid getting shot. It’s not your fault that you didn’t get bit by a radioactive spider.”

     “Pete, really, I’ll be better by next week anyway. It’s fine.” 

     Peter shook his head, sighing. “I just feel so bad, I shouldn’t have forced patrolling on you.” You hugged him and rubbed his back soothingly. “It’s my fault you got hurt.” 

     “Peter stop. It’s just an unfortunate accident.” You mumbled, hugging him closer. “It could’ve happened to anyone.”

     “But it didn’t happen to just anyone (Y/N), it happened to you. And I caused it. I-I don't know what I’d do if something ever happened to you. What if it was worse?”

     You sighed, pulling away from Peter and cupping his face, seeing the regret and shame pooling in his eyes. Without much thought, you pulled him closer, slowly connecting your lips in a sweet kiss. Truly getting lost in the feeling of his lips against yours, the feeling of perfection. 

     Peter’s eyes widened in shock for a moment, before he was kissing you back, reveling in the feeling he’s been dreaming about for months. You finally pulled away to catch your breath. Peter flushed at your actions, unable to stop the wide smile crossing his features. 

     “Sorry,” You mumbled sheepishly, “just needed to shut you up for a second.”

     “Maybe I should talk more, just to see what happens,” Peter smirked, pulling you in for another shorter, but just as sweet, kiss. 

     You hummed against his lips. “I really like you. Even when you're a dumbass.” You sighed against his lips.

     “The feeling is mutual.” 

     “Rude. I’m not a dumbass.” You gasped in faux offense. 

     “You’re the one with a bullet wound.” he deadpanned 

     “You’re the one who got caught watchin—”

     “(Y/N)!”

[janaem]

tension

this is a mature scenario

requests are also open, go to my pinned post to learn more :)

(c/f) ;; crush’s friend

(y/f) - your friend

r/n - restaurant name

“___”- you or your crush’s name

[8:00 pm]

you looked out the open window feeling the breeze on your face. you closed your eyes and laughed at the ticklish feeling as you tilted your head back.

your friend, ___, was the one behind the wheel, chatting with your crush's friend, ___. the four of you decided to escape from reality for a while and just aimlessly drive around for a while. what a calming way to spend a summer night, you've longed to go on adventures like this. and the music in the background was absolutely perfect.

"i'm hungry." your crush said slightly slouching in his seat which was next to yours, his legs spread a bit. it was kind of awkward being in the backseat with him, considering the fact that the two of you only exchanged one short conversation.

you and your friend ___, were originally going to hang out together, but since they grew more fond of your crush's friend, they insisted on picking the two of them up.

"let's go somewhere that has a drive thru." you said closing the car window.

"oh, i was told that i can't eat food in this car." you friend replied looking around for places to eat.

"wait, why?" c/f asked, sitting up in their seat.

y/f sighed, keeping their eye out for any nearby places, "this is a new car, just got this two days ago."

c/f nodded, "so...do we just dine in?"

"or we could order pick up and eat outside the car by the lake or something." you imputed googling some restaurants near you.

"yeah, that's a good idea." ___ said turning his head to look right at you. it shouldn't be a surprise, but you felt your body slightly tense up and start to feel warm as you scrolled through the various options on your screen.

a few places caught your eye, and you started listing them.

"oooh i think that r/n is a perfect spot to get pick up!" c/f announced.

y/f nodded, "yeah, ___, what do you think?" they asked looking at the two of you in the back seat through the rearview mirror.

you absently nodded, scrolling through social media, your crush said yes.

"you two have been awfully quiet" c/f pointed out turning their body halfway to look at the two of you in the back seat.

"they're heavy on the sexual tension." y/f added making the frat boy face.

"bro..." your crush sighed in annoyance. you looked over at him, he immediately caught your gaze and you instantly looked away, pretending to scroll on your phone.

"guys, if you like each other just say that. It's so obvious." y/f suggested turning the corner, you were 2 minutes away from your destination, since it was a place pretty close by.

"we have more important things to worry about, like our orders for the food." you shot back looking up from your phone.

"and what we'll be having for dessert, isn't that right, ___?" c/f glanced at ___, them a wink.

"dude, shut up." ___ said dismissively, you felt your body become tense again. you looked over at ___, as he rested his elbow by the window, leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand. you only squeezed your legs tighter, why the fuck did they look so fine being careless? you looked at his legs, you honestly just wanted to sit on his lap and make out with him without a care in the world.

the throbbing down there suddenly caught you off guard, "can you guys stop, seriously. we don't like each other, it was just sudden that y/f decided to pick you two up. let it go." you sighed shifting uncomfortably in your seat, crossing your legs together. ___ saw this and raised their eyebrows. however, you refused to look at him again for the rest of the ride.

"shut your horny ass up, we know that's not true." c/f teased turning back around to face straight ahead. you just wanted to beat the shit out of this motherfucker with no mercy.

"we'll order inside, it's late and the line shouldn't be long at all." y/f sighed, ignoring the previous conversation that just took place.

"but, that doesn't make sense, we'll have to wait even longer for the food now." ____ imputed.

you adjusted yourself in your seat, taking a breath, "not if we call them now."

"we have one more minute until we arrive, it's pointless." y/f replied looking at the gps.

"that's plenty of time, just tell me what you guys want, and if we arrive sooner than expected, we can just park and finish our order." you said dialing in the number.

everyone else agreed, so you called r/n and told them your orders. you arrived just in time once you finished and hung up.

"see told ya." you smirked putting your phone down.

"c/f and i will go in to pick up the orders." y/f said unbuckling their seatbelt along with c/f.

"uhh...can i come?" __ asked sitting up a bit, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"no, you stay here with ___." c/f replied opening the car door and steeping, causing him to huff under his breath.

"they said it'll take 15 minutes. why can't y'all stay here until it's ready?" you argued furrowing your eyebrows.

"i don't know why you're complaining, you get some alone time with your boyfriend." y/f smiled as they exited the car, and before you could say anything else the door slammed shut.

the silence was way to loud in the backseat of the car, you held your phone firmly in your hands, fighting the urge to look at ___, who was on his phone. what were you thinking? he's not even thinking about you right now, so why bother...

you finally decided to break the silence after a while, "you know, you don't have to listen to c/f and y/f... you can just go in if you want to." you immediately regretted saying that, you hoped deep down that he wouldn't leave you.

"nah, i'm fine right here." ___ replied, scrolling through his phone mindlessly.

you nodded and went on your phone as well, texting someone to save the awkwardness.

suddenly, ___ scoots next to you, still looking down at his phone. you furrowed your eyebrows at the move. why was he doing this?

"Uhh..." you leaned towards the window, your heart started to race uncontrollably and the adrenaline in your body started to rise.

___ sighed, getting comfortable, "shut up, i got cold."

you gave him a skeptical look, "it's literally seventy nine degrees out, and you're wearing a hoodie and sweatpants."

"just shut up, okay?" ___ sighed, he was seated at least an inch away from you.

"you're so fucking weird." you muttered.

"i'll show you weird if you don't shut the fuck up and sit still."

this moment was making you heated, your face started to get hot and you ached with anticipation to either say something rude, or bold. maybe say both? you honestly didn't know what to do, and the throbbing down on your core started to intensify and it only made matters worse.

"and how the hell are you gonna do that, ___? right i though so, so move back to your fucking seat or i'll make you."

yeah, you shouldn't have said that.

"fuck." you whispered to yourself, your gaze on ___ softened due to realizing what you've just done.

"oh yeah?" ___ gave you a lazy smirk, slightly tilting his head back to show a bit of his adam's apple.

you didn't say anything after that, that was until you felt ___ knee on yours. that was when your stomach clenched.

"how are you gonna make me move acting like this, huh?" he scooted closer so that both of your shoulders were touching. you still remained silent, watching closely as ___'s hand reached down, gripped your thigh, and moved it on top of his leg. the throbbing intensified, you became even hotter than ever, and your heart raced at an astronomical pace. you don't think you were able to handle it any longer. one more move from him and you were sure to break.

he leaned over, his face inches from yours, "not so tough now, are we?"

fuck it.

you cupped ___'s face with both of your hands and collided your lips onto his. he leaned in so that he was slightly on top of you, causing you to lean back, the seatbelt restricting you to go any further. luckily, while kissing you, ___ reached back and undid the buckle with his one hand.

you were now able to lean back, your head rested on the window, allowing ___ to settle between your legs. your back arched at the feeling of his hand trailing up your thigh, his thumb brushing over your clit. his other hand, trailed up under your sweatshirt, squeezing your waist.

you both parted, ___ looked into your eyes, "is this okay?" he continued to faintly rub his thumb faintly over your sensitive area.

"yeah..." you panted ,leaning in and kissing him again. the feeling of his hands on your bare skin, and his other hand on the very spot you've always wanted him was overwhelming.

___ slid his hand into your pants, using his middle finger to slide up and down to toy with your covered area. your breathing started to get heavier as you bucked your hips to meet his finger.

"does this feel good?" ___ asked placing a kiss on your jaw.

you were melting under his touch, "yeah..." you quivered, suddenly hissing once you felt ___ add a few more fingers and rubbing circles on your clit. his other hand, which was originally on your waist, slowly snaked up to fondle your breast.

"___...oh my--" you let out a gasp feeling him go a bit faster. the wetness started to build up on your core, a shockwave of pleasure erupts within you.

you two went at it again with the kissing, ___ slipped his tongue into your mouth, resulting in the kiss to become sloppier than before. ___ also took the opportunity to pull your underwear down, proceeding the act of rubbing your core. he let out a small hum in ecstasy, feeling how warm you were.

"fuck, you drive me crazy, ___" he groaned in between kisses, "you're so wet, too"

you simply couldn't talk, the feeling in your stomach built up every few seconds. you parted from ___ to let out a whimper, biting your lip and rolling your eyes back. you arched again at the feeling of his hand toying with your breast. unfortunately, he stopped and placed his hand from your breast to your back. ___ then started to place kisses on your jaw and neck, you closed your eyes in pleasure, feeling every inch of him touching you, you didn't want him to stop no matter what.

___ stopped kissing you after a while, and took a good look at you. he couldn't take his eyes off of you beautiful expression. he didn't think he would make you feel this way, and it filled him with pride that he is. he looked from your parted lips, to your heaving chest. just looking at you drove him to the edge, he'll never know how and why you were so breathtaking, especially in this state.

your eyes opened slightly, seeing that ___ was staring at you, a series of moans and whimpers continued to come out of you.

you started to squirm, and he liked that. so he went faster, assuming that you were about to reach your high.

"you like that, huh?" he whispered against your lips as he continued to rub his fingers on your clit. the overwhelming feeling that sent shockwaves through your core began to build up more and more the harder and faster he rubbed.

"oh my god..." you sighed, rolling your eyes back in relief. your back arched feeling the sudden wave of pleasure, which was stronger than the last. it was all so unexplainable, all you knew is that you felt so good.

___ placed a slow kiss on your lips, pulling away once you let out another moan. he chuckled and went faster. and the faster he went, the more frequent your whimpers became. you never really admitted it, but you enjoyed the build up before a good orgasm. and it would seem that___ knew just how to maintain this feeling inside you. it was almost hard to believe that this was his first time touching you.

___ moved his hand from your back, to the window to support himself, leaning into you more. all you could do was pant, feeling your abdominal muscles clench, the feeling of pleasure was even greater, allowing your mouth to fall open.

___'s hand started to flex, "you gonna cum for me?" he said going faster than before, "yeah?" he gripped your waist even tighter, watching your expression intensely. ___ wanted to make sure that you felt everything.

"oh fuck, yes." you moaned, looking up at the ceiling. all you were focused on, were ___'s fingers and the intense release you were having.

"you look so hot cuming for me." ___ said, your foreheads were inches away.

you couldn't respond, the orgasm you just had had taken it's toll on you. your legs shook a bit as you rode out your last high. small sighs and pants escaped your lips, the very same lips that your crush leaned over and placed a kiss on.

you kissed back and your crush pulls your bottoms back up, the feeling of the fabric touching your sensitive area made you squirm a bit.

"i made you cum that hard?" ___ teased, giving you a smirk.

"yeah ..." you said slyly, wrapping your arms around his neck. you tangled your fingers into his hair, taking in how beautiful his eyes were. your infatuation for each other grew just then, and the two of you leaned in and kissed each other again.

suddenly, the car door opened and in entered your two chatty friends. they were so caught up in their conversation that both you and ___ took this time to immediately get situated again.___ slid all the way back to his original spot as you got out your phone and started typing and scrolling.

"damn, it's hot in here..." y/f said starting the car again and turning on the air conditioning.

"Yeah," c/f looked suspiciously at you and ___, "y'all fucked or sum?"

"i'd rather die." you said bluntly, not looking up from your phone. ___ just let out an indifferent grunt.

"well, anyways, to the lake we go! i'm starving." y/f announced reversing out of the parking lot.

[arrowflier]

I wish you would write a fic where the gallaghers + kev & vee find out about ian's 87% comment and they all give their opinions and ask why mickey, ian's husband who's been a part of ian's life for nearly eleven years only gets 87% of his heart, if the other 13% goes towards his toxic exes and why since they're not in his life anymore, ian explaining himself and ends with ian taking the comment back so mickey has 100% of his heart

I decided this was perfect for Gallavich Week Day 5: Fix-It! Thanks as always to @gallavichthings for hosting💖. Also on AO3.

Eighty-Seven Percent (Anatomy of a Heart)

It was a normal morning in the Gallagher kitchen.

That is to say, it was chaotic.

Carl and Liam sat across from each other at the narrow table, tossing dry loops of off-brand cereal at each other over Franny’s backpack, which lay open between them. The girl herself was running circles around them both in her pajamas, Debbie chasing after her with a stern face and a frilly dress held in outstretched hands.

“Come on, Franny,” she muttered impatiently as her daughter evaded her again by diving under the table, “just put on the dress!”

Mickey laughed when Franny ran to him instead, trying to hide behind his legs where he stood by the brewing coffeemaker. Ian ruined her attempt by swinging her up into his arms and twirling her around until Debbie snatched her from him, resulting in an angry shriek as Franny writhed in her hold.

“For fuck’s sake, keep it down in here!” Lip hissed, coming in from the living room where Tami had just gotten Fred settled in his play pen. “If you get Fred crying again, I swear I’ll fucking end you all.”

If anything, the kitchen got louder as everyone there chimed in in their own defense.

Mickey just snorted as he grabbed two mugs and got to pouring the fresh coffee. “Good luck with that,” he offered to Lip, amused. “You get one Gallagher going, you get the whole fucking pack.”

Lip glared at him, opened his mouth the say something undoubtedly scathing and most likely regarding Mickey’s place in the family, when Carl laughed and chimed in from the table.

“Funny, man, that’s what Trevor said to me and Ian at the station yesterday.”

The room went quiet.

Or maybe it just seemed that way to Ian, who could see the way his husband’s back immediately tensed at the familiar name, the way he gripped the handle of his mug a little too tight and poured the coffee a little too high before setting down the pot with a hard clack.

“Trevor, huh?” Mickey asked, voice deceptively mild, and Ian winced behind him.

Carl didn’t get the memo.

“Yeah, you remember him, right?” he checked. “He still works at that youth place, came in to post bail for some kid when Ian was bringing by lunch.” He shrugged, tossed a handful of cereal into his mouth. “We chatted a bit,” he mumbled as he chewed.

Mickey gripped the edge of the counter, knuckles going white under his tattoos. “Funny,” he said quietly, “Ian didn’t think to mention that.”

Ian sighed, ignoring the eyes of his family on their quickly unfolding drama. They’d been fighting a lot lately, a lot more than they used to, and today had been shaping up to be better, damn it. Now he had to do damage control again instead of enjoying a quiet day in with his husband.

“We’ve talked about this, Mickey,” he started, a tad bit exasperated. It must have come through in his voice, because Mickey’s shoulders went up. “Trevor’s not a bad guy, and I’m not gonna avoid him if I see him around.”

Mickey released the counter to grab his coffee again, taking a long, scalding swallow. “Right,” he said finally, not looking at Ian. “Not a bad guy at all. Just wanted to leave your ass rotting in jail when you couldn’t be his poster boy anymore, that’s all.”

“Mickey…” Ian warned, but it didn’t stop him.

“Tell me, Ian,” Mickey mused, turning to face him with hard eyes. “How much of that thirteen percent belongs to him?”

Fuck. Not that again.

“Wait, what’s he talking about?” Debbie was the one to ask first, voice cutting through their palpable tension. She’d even stopped trying to force the dress over Franny’s head in the interim, allowing the girl to escape up the stairs unscathed. “What thirteen percent?”

“Oh yeah, he told me about that,” Lip butted in. “Said Mickey got all bent out of shape cause Ian still thinks about his exes, or something, right?”

Ian closed his eyes against the hurt in Mickey’s as his brother revealed that he knew about their squabble. Fuck his family right now, seriously.

“Not quite,” he gritted out, but when he opened his eyes again, Mickey had schooled his face back into disinterest.

“No, that’s just about it,” Mickey confirmed. “Got my nose out of joint because Ian, here,” he gestured at Ian with his mug, ignoring the hot coffee that splashed over the side, “said I only got eighty-seven percent of his heart.”

Someone whistled, low and long. Ian couldn’t tell who.

“It’s not that big a deal,” he insisted yet again. “My whole life is a fucking shrine to you, Mick. If my heart was a room, there’s be posters of you on every fucking wall.” He took a step closer, until Mickey’s mug pressed into his own chest, leaving a wet spot on his shirt.

“You really can’t let the others have a little space in that room? Not even in the bottom drawer of a dresser that nobody uses anyway?”

Mickey was still, and silent. Then he spun around and slammed his mug back down on the counter, shoved past Ian, and stormed off up the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Ian called after him.

“To clean out the goddamn drawers!”

It was quiet in Mickey’s wake, and then—

“Dude, that’s fucked up,” Carl said frankly, and Liam nodded in agreement, eyes wide.

“Did you really say that?” Debbie asked, sounding horrified, and before Ian could answer the back door slammed open.

“Morning neighbors!” Vee greeted as she came through, Kev on her heels. She was holding something, a dish covered in foil, and a carton of juice hung from Kev’s hand.

“We brought you guys some…” Vee trailed off when no one even looked at her, noticing the tension in the room.

“Uh,” she voiced, confused, “what did we miss?”

Carl answered, still looking at Ian in disbelief. “Ian told Mickey he keeps stuff from his exes in a drawer, so Mickey’s up there looking for it.”

“Oh, that’s cold man,” Kev breathed, and Ian exhaled.

“It was a metaphor,” he muttered, and Vee heard him.

“A metaphor for what?” she asked, curious.

“For the thirteen percent of Ian’s heart that belongs to other people,” Debbie revealed, and Vee set down her dish with a clatter.

“You said that to him?” she clarified, and at Ian’s reluctant nod, shook her head and turned to Kev.

“You ever say shit like that to me,” she said firmly, “I’ll cut off thirteen percent of your dick.”

—

A few long minutes later, after he had finally escaped his family’s inquisition about the state of his relationship, Ian made his way upstairs, alone.

When he got to their bedroom, Mickey wasn’t actually going through their things. He was just sitting on their bed, back to the wall, spinning his wedding ring round and round on his finger. Next to him, balanced on their folded blanket, sat the little box with the fancy ones they used in the ceremony just so they wouldn’t have to take theirs off.

Ian’s heart beat harder. That box had been sitting safe in the bottom drawer of their shared dresser.

The one that nobody used.

“Hey,” he said softly from the doorway. Mickey didn’t look up.

“You okay?” Ian asked, and that at least got a response.

“Do I look fucking okay to you?” Mickey returned, eyes on his knees.

He didn’t. Not really. He looked haggard, and upset, his hair spiky where restless fingers had combed through it. Ian couldn’t see his eyes, but he had a feeling they were rimmed in red.

Ian let himself into the room, sat opposite Mickey on the bed with his feet still firmly on the floor. He reached out to trace a finger over the rings in the box, and then the ring on Mickey’s finger.

Mickey let his own hand fall away when he did.

“You know that’s not how I meant it, right?” Ian asked, suddenly desperate to hear Mickey agree. He needed to know that Mickey understood, that just because he remembered his past, it didn’t mean he wasn’t dedicated to his future.

But Mickey just shrugged.

“Not a lot of ways you can mean it,” he said, and shit. Ian had really fucked up this time. “Either I have your whole heart or I don’t,” Mickey continued, “and I don’t. So,” he shrugged again, “whatever.”

Ian took a moment. A long one. He thought of Mickey’s reaction the first time he had said it, when he was mostly just teasing. The way he had been shocked to think that Ian still had fond thoughts for other men. And he thought of his family downstairs, each one more fucked up than the last, all in agreement over the severity of his error.

And to be honest, he still didn’t quite get the uproar. But maybe that was because none of them got his side, either.

“You’re right,” he began, “you don’t.”

Mickey tensed further, pulling away from him on the bed, but Ian wasn’t done.

“You have all the good bits, you know,” he continued. He went to rest a hand on Mickey’s chest, saw his stiffness, and pointed at his own instead.

“You have all four chambers,” he told him. “Atrium and ventricle. You keep my blood moving, keep it useful, keep me alive. And you have my valves,” he added, trailing a finger side to side to point to the right spots as he spoke. “Mitral and aorta, pulmonary and tricuspid.” He smiled. “You keep me going in the right direction.”

Mickey was softening, he could tell, the tension seeping from his limbs as Ian droned on. He kept going anyway.

“You have all my arteries, Mick,” he whispered. “You’re in all my veins. You said I was under your skin, once?” Ian laughed. “Well you’re under my skin, too. And in my muscles, and in my blood.”

“And the others, they’re like…” he hesitated, searched for the right words. Better words than he had used before. “They’re like cholesterol,” he settled on, “plaque. Or…like the scar tissue from a triple bypass, the parts that don’t work anymore.”

Mickey’s lips quirked, despite himself, and Ian counted it as a victory.

“You have a lot a heart surgeries, Gallagher?” he questioned softly, catching on.

Ian smile widened, and he reached out to take Mickey’s hand. This time, Mickey didn’t pull away.

“Maybe a few,” he admitted. “And maybe I’m better for it.”

He lifted Mickey’s hand to his lips, held it there.

“I don’t mind the broken bits,” he told his husband. “The pieces they left behind. Because you pushed through them every time, and made me healthy again.”

Mickey fidgeted, and nudged himself off the wall to settle closer to Ian’s side.

“Alright,” he allowed, “I get it.”

“Do you?” Ian asked earnestly. “Because I want you to, you know.” He dropped Mickey’s hand to hold his face instead, gently stroking a thumb over his cheek. “I want you to know that that thirteen percent, it doesn’t really matter. All that matters are the parts that are you.”

"I chose you, Mickey," he murmured. He reached out blindly for the spare rings in their box on the bed, worked one free. Slipped it onto Mickey's finger without looking away from his eyes. Mickey's hand clenched around it, around Ian's hand, and held tight.

"I married you," Ian added. "Because I love you with every real part of my heart, every little bit that works."

“All eighty-seven percent?” Mickey prods with a soft expression, leaning forward until his nose brushes Ian’s.

“All eighty-seven percent,” Ian confirmed, and kissed him.

[nerdy-simp-7120]

hi! if you're comfortable writing this, could i ask for a scenario? this has been in the back of my head for a while.

what would be the reaction of the brothers + dateables of watching mc play resident evil in the dimitrescu castle? who would be down bad the most

thank you! feel free to ignore this if you don't want to write this ofc

I love this ask (stan tall vampire lady). The only thing is that I accidentally turned it into a “how they feel about the game.” I managed to add in some parts with MC playing as well to make up for it

Update: I literally finished the request yesterday but my wifi went down and I lost everything  😩 😩

I also wrote this in the middle of the night so sorry if there are any errors! Enjoy!

Warnings: cursing.

How the OM! characters would react to you playing Resident Evil (Dimitrescu Castle edition)

Lucifer

Will not care at first

"I hold no interest in such trivial simulations."

His weakness? Being a simp for you.

He decides to look into the game a bit more in private later on.

Will lowkey practice the game

If you ever catch him playing it, do not say anything because he will stop immediately, deny everything, and might not ever do it again

With time, however, Lucifer will come to master the game.

Here comes the showing off.

When you're rambling about the game with Levi, Lucifer will join the conversation and you two will be like "wow, boomer knows something for once--"

Or when you're struggling on a part of the game he will be like, "hand it over"

Before expertly getting through that part.

Can defeat Lady Dimitrescu if you ask him to but be careful cause he might make you beg

sadistic bastard

or you can be a badass and show him your skills

Will be a tad shocked at how easily you handled it but won't let it show (okay Elsa)

Also proud though

Lucifer's internal monologue: “That’s right- show them how it’s done, Y/n.”

Mammon

Scared.

Will watch you play and cover his eyes during every battle

"wHAT IS THAT?!" at everything you come across

I hope you're good at playing one-handed because you'll have to use the other hand to hold his throughout the entire thing

Admires you're bravery but would never admit it

"You were horrible! ...N-nice job beating the game, not that I c-care or anything. You sucked anyways!"

Not even 10 seconds later...

"Can I watch you play again?"

Comes to find that the faces you make are adorable: when you're concentrating on a battle, when you win, find a valuable item, etc

He loves being able to see how you're feeling up close.

If you catch him staring when you take a break or something he'll blush and either ask you if you have a staring problem or that you have something on your face

He may or may not buy cheap merch (a tiny key chain of Lady Dimitrescu or your favorite character) for you, all the while spewing lame excuses

Please bear with him- he's trying.

Leviathan

"YOU ALSO LIKE RESIDENT DEVIL?!?? Ah! I-I mean..."

Congrats, you just found yourself someone to discuss the game with

Is open to cosplay the characters with you

You two will have competitions to see who can beat the game faster.

You both also share theories with each other all the time

Or simply discuss the characters together

He purposefully stays quiet to hear you ramble on and on- dude finds it adorable

You two also sometimes argue debate over a character name or event in the game

Because while you have Resident Evil

He only knows Resident Devil

This is the equivalent of Devilgram and Instagram

I mean

They’re the same,

But a couple things were altered, y’know, to prevent copyright

So yes, there are definitely a few quarrels here and there

But all in all, it’s a fun gamer bud experience

Don’t tell him I told you but he thinks it’s hot when you show off your badass skills in a boss fight

Satan

He plays it on the lowkey.

Not because he’s embarrassed

But because he partially takes his anger out on the characters

During gory scenes, he imagines it’s him torturing Lucifer, fueling his determination to win

A calculated person, Satan is a smart player

But there are times when he’s particularly angry and he becomes a reckless one, jumping into fights impetuously

This is where you come in and beat the enemy for him

He may get angrier, thinking you are underestimating him

But, for the sake of the person he loves, he calms down knowing you didn’t mean to offend him

A small part in the back of his head also admires you for being able to handle the fight a ton better than he did

Congratulations, you just earned yourself the great Satan’s respect (resident evil-wise).

Asmodeus

“Oh my, I never knew you were into such gory games! Does this mean you’re into blood play, because I know many things about--”

He may look carefree on the outside

But on the inside?

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Holy shit

What the fu--

Jesus christ, can you pull a move like that in real life?

He needs to be careful to not piss you off.

If you can handle this, who knows what you could be capable of?

Hold on.

Wait, you look so concentrated

Eeep! How cute!

Anyways, it ends with him snapping a bunch of pictures 

Keeps them for himself and may brag to his brothers about how he got some “special” shots of you

Obviously never elaborates on what the special part means to keep his dear siblings on edge because, what the hell, they want to know what these special shots are

Would not play the game because there’s “tOo MuCh BlOoDsHeD”

We all know he’s most likely seen his fair share of bloodshed

“What if the adrenaline gives me acne?”

He’s probably just bad at the game--

Verdict: Asmo is a simp and not afraid to flaunt it.

Beel

...Are you okay?

Do you think about homicide--?

Oh, that lady looks nice.

Huh, she’s 9′6″??

What’s her name? Lady Dimitrescu?

Okay-- WAIT WHY IS SHE TURNING INTO THAT??

Not scared, just a tad bit concerned 

Poor Beel, concerned for Lady D :’)

Also, seeing the death’s of Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra hit different

Because he know what it’s like to lose a sibling.

Safe to say he understands Alcina’s pain when she raged about her children being dead.

Also concerned about how the gore could affect you

Because isn’t stuff like this supposed to traumatize humans?

Would support you regardless though

And thinks that you’re really brave for playing the game and still being able to stand strong

On another note, Beel decided to make small flower graves for the three sisters and Alcina because he’s adorable and kind like that

Belphegor

Likes the game but is too lazy to play himself

Regularly watches Satan play (or at least as much as he can before deciding it’s nap time)

I hope you enjoy Belphie using you as a body pillow and watching you play from now on 

Makes small comments here and there to help you out

“To your left... Oh, and open the window- yeah, that one.”

Will smirk, impressed, when you deal with the fights and win yourself without his comments.

“That’s my Y/n”

(Sorry I don’t know what else to put for him :’))

Diavolo

“Is this a human trend?” meme

Will watch excitedly and “oooo” whenever you do something cool

Be careful though, because the questions will not stop as you play

“What’s that? I see. What’s it for? How do you win the game? Who’s that character? Why can’t you do this? What about--?”

Diavolo, you’re awesome and all, but please

shush

On the inside, is also one that might be a tad concerned about your mental health because doesn’t that gore traumatize humans?

Wait, you do this for entertainment?

...

Another warning: he will shower you in merchandise from the game

I am not above the fact that this man has a game room 

And he will try to master the game

Casually pushes all his paperwork over to Lucifer so he can play Resident Evil

RIP Luci

Unfortunately, Diavolo will have trouble grasping the game and how it works

You will have to explain many things to him

Good luck- he’s a bit of a boomer (but willing to learn) and may or may not get distracted staring at you

But anyways, he enjoys engaging in the competitions you and Levi have

Whether it be playing as well or simply watching

He just loves to see you happy

Barbatos

Oh my, what’s this?

Will watch you play

and constantly criticize how filthy the Dimitrescu castle is

“Do they have any idea how many rats this can attract?”

Barbatos, your weakness is showing.

Seeing you so happy while playing the game helps him relax from his daily troubles tasks

He rewards you with a pat on the head any time you beat a foe

When Diavolo goes over to the HoL or when you come over to play in he silently cheers you on in the background.

Solomon

Yuh

Is educated on the game and knows his shit as the only other human 

Maybe knows a bit too much of the game

You will later come to find out that, somewhere in his mass tangle of shady connections, he knows a developer

Might give you tips and tricks to get on higher levels

But never, and I mean never, challenge him like you would with Levi to see who can beat the game faster

Because he will beat you by a seconds on purpose, just to piss you of

all the while doing that dark, shady chuckle

Asshole

But anyways, if you manage to finesse and beat him, he will be 

So confused

“I thought I did it all right, what went wrong...?” he thinks to himself.

On the outside, however, he’s smiling

Will hand over some praise to his little apprentice, but if you look carefully you will see a spark of annoyance

We get it Solomon, you’re a sore loser.

In the end, he will still leave somewhat impressed at your skillz

Simeon

w h a t

Is a little scared

“Is this one of them video games you kids play nowadays...? Just kidding. What are you playing-- oh my”

Might try to figure out how to play

But alas, 

Simeon is yet another boomer

So he will have quite some trouble even figuring out how to move

And why does he hold the controller like that what

If you’ve seen that one picture of him holding his phone sideways you know what I mean

On another note, if you look through his poem book, then you may or may not find a few poems describing how amazing and badass you looked hustling the entire game

Luke

about to bomb this master hill

No literally is considering bombing the computer or whatever you’re playing on because wHAT IS THAT

He is just

So 

So 

Scared

This will give him nightmares for weeks

Apparently Alcina reminds him of Lucifer so he kinda

Hates her

Says he will protect you

--as he runs out of the room in fear

Irrelevant but the one he hates the most is fetus baby

Michael have mercy on this poor boy--