#ALSO if you are reading this hello :D and feedback is always greatly appreciated

[maybe-drawing]

Do I look like I remember what the southlands actually looked like afsjhj

-- Click for better quality! Sketch and more under the cut! --  

[evolnoomym]

Bigger than the whole sky 🌌

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Pt.2🌠 | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: You meet Joel and well of course you fall for each other. It’s a bit bumpy since he’s your Dads best friend. But things seem to work out until they don’t anymore. One event changes everything.

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: no use of y/n, pov switches that might be confusing, female reader, reader has hair, reader wears makeup, reader can get pale, weight loss, implied childhood abuse, trauma, angst, heavy angst(?), implied smut, alludes to pregnancy, funerals, coffins, reader has no name only a bunch of nicknames, size difference, dbf!Joel Miller, mentions of throwing up, loss of a loved one, grief, depression (?), food and eating issues are mentioned, talks of having a baby, Blood, dark thoughts, intrusive thoughts, age gap, readers age is not exactly mentioned but Joel is 44, talks of getting married….

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: this is for @almostfoxglove ‘s Angst Writing Challenge. Shoutout to her she created the moodboard, it’s sooooo beautiful. 🫶🏻

Shoutout to @thecutestgrotto and @cafekitsune for the dividers 💙

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. This is also only my second time posting writing for a specific character. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly. This not beta read btw only by my eyes and they hurt after starring at the screen for so long 🌌🫶🏻

And lastly I’ll leave some songs i listened to while writing <3

loml by Taylor Swift

Black Friday by Tom Odell

This is what the drugs are for by Gracie Abrams

I guess by Mitski

Present by Lloyd Vaan

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson

Home by Daughter

Allowed to be Happy by Gustavo Santaolalla

Song on the Beach by Arcade Fire, Owen Pallet

aisatsana [102] by Aphex Twin

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

Francis Forever by Mitski

A House In Nebraska by Ethel Cain

Medicine by Daughter

Youth by Daughter

I can barely say his name by Patrick Jonsson

listen before I go by Billie Eilish

You remember exactly how you met Joel Miller, it was so simple. He was the one to give your Dad a job at the construction company he led together with his younger brother Tommy. In the beginning you only heard how great of a boss he supposedly was through your Dads stories. 

Joel and him seemed to have grown into real good friends in the span of mere weeks. You always had wondered what the man from his stories was like in person, up close. 

When you had to drive to the construction site to bring your Dad his lunch he had forgotten due to being a bit busy that morning. It seemed like your wishes to meet Joel would become reality. You didn’t think the big boss would spend his precious time with the actual building process but as you'd figure out in the future, Joel is a hands on kinda guy. 

You must’ve looked super out of place and quite lost when he approached you. His Texas drawl still echoed through your head hours later. „Well Hello Darlin, lookin for someone?“ and if that alone didn’t completely blew you away, then certainly his stunning looks. When you turned towards the voice a tall, broad and awfully handsome man looked back at you.

After an awkward beat of silence he stretched his hand out towards you “Apologies sweetheart, should’a start with the name, huh?” Tilting his head slightly “Name’s Joel, Joel Miller.” At that you let your hand slip onto his outstretched one. His hand was so huge, warm and calloused. Shaking his hand kinda calmed you down Joel Miller was absolutely lovely. “Nice to finally meet the famous Joel Miller that my Dad keeps yapping about nonstop.” You giggled while cheekily winking at him. 

That must’ve been a key moment for everything that was to follow. You’d see Joel again and again. Whether due to your Dad inviting the single, 44 year old Man over or due to you having to deliver your Dad’s forgotten food. 

The tension was slowly building higher and higher between you two until one day in Joel’s office you could no longer hold back. 

Joel stood in his office with you by his side, in front of a pinboard containing all sorts of information about his newest project. He was animatedly explaining processes you’d never understand in a million years. You actually kind of tuned him out and just enjoyed being unbelievably close to him. 

Then his face kinda looked confused. Oh no he must’ve asked you a question. Shaking your head you say  “Mhhh sorry, what did you just ask?” Joel tilts his head towards you the way he always does and then states “Ya didn’t listen to a single word I just said, right Sweetcheeks?” 

He always comes up with the most ridiculous nicknames that cause a vicious pull in your lower stomach. You lost count of how many conversations with him ended in drenched panties. 

“I….i -of course I was listening to you, why wouldn’t I?” You stammered a bit offensively, surely he’d see right through you. 

“Hm kay, so what was I talkin bout, gorgeous?” He’s teasing at this point. 

“Ok I wasn’t listening but that is a lot I don’t get anyway so can you really blame me, Miller?” You fired back. 

“So, whatcha thinkin bout inside of that pretty little head of yours, instead of listening to me?” You just scoff at him “Let’s not pretend you don’t know exactly what I was thinking about Joel.” Pointing one accusing finger at his broad chest. At that motion Joel enveloped your wrist in one of his massive hands, pulling you closer that way. Until you were right in front of him, only a tiny space left between your faces. “Why don’t ya tell me whatcha thinkin about Baby?” 

He must know, just by seeing how your eyes keep slipping down to glance at his pillowy lips, what is going through your head. You’ve been dancing around this topic, the tension, the pull towards each other, how forbidden it is for all of this to happen. Joel is your Dads Best friend and he’s twice as old as you are but you know that if you don’t kiss him right now you’ll go insane. It’s all you think about, kissing him and then some more. 

For the first time in years you actually consider letting someone get so close again. Joel would never hurt you like the ones before him did, no, he’s mature and wouldn’t play any of those stupid games. You know how kind, considerate, protective and caring he is for the ones he loves. Sure it won’t be easy to explain any of this to your Dad but you can’t think about that right now, no, you have to kiss Joel, it’s the last thought before leaning up to push your lips against his. 

One chaste kiss that erupted into a full blown make out session that only got interrupted by some frantic knocks at Joel’s Office door. 

From that day on those meetings became a routine, in his office, his truck, his house or sometimes he’d take you out of town for a super secret Date. The thrill of hiding with the possibility of getting caught soon turned into shame for lying to your Dad so much. You wanted to tell him even though it scared you more than anything how he might react. 

Surprisingly though he didn’t completely freak out, of course he was shocked and confused how this combination came to be. More than anything he took the lying personally and made clear that as long as you are happy, so is he. If Joel was the one then so be it, besides your Dad has a lot of respect for Joel and knows you're in good hands. 

After 3 months of being an official couple Joel asked if you’d be happy to move in with him. You had to think about it for a long time, feeling quite guilty about leaving your Dad behind but he reassured you that he would be fine on his own. He told you that a grown woman like you shouldn’t have to live with her boring old man anymore than you already did. 

So you moved into Joel’s house. And what followed were months filled with wonderful memories. Many barbecues were held, your Dad and Joel always standing at the grill together, each nursing on their beer bottles. 

Whenever you wanted to try a new recipe your Dad was invited over so you could make sure he still ate enough, the night always ending with you sending him home with a bunch of Tupperware's filled to the brim with deliciously homemade meals. 

When you wanted to paint the walls in the living room a new shade your Dad came over to help. 

Making sure his baby girl is happy and content was your Dads number one priority. 

Then one day you went over to his house to catch up a little bit, just you two having some Dad and Daughter one on one quality time. 

He was so excited when you told him that Joel and you want to have a baby. 

He told you what a great mother you’d make because of how wonderful you always have been with kids and how much you always wanted to have kids of your own. 

To others it might’ve been weird to share such an information with their Dad but you have such a close bond that it’s not weird at all. 

You were so happy on the drive home cuz you know what great grandpa he’d make. 

It must've been exactly one week later when you woke up with an indescribable feeling in your chest. As if the world spun a little slower, or the air felt more compromising…whatever it was you couldn’t stop feeling like something had happened. 

Your intuition only perked up more when your Dad didn’t show up for the usual Sunday’s breakfast you recently started doing. 

After 8 calls that nobody picked up you told Joel you would drive over there and as if he knew that you would need him for whatever was awaiting you there, he came with you. 

The closer you got to the house the worse you felt. Hands sweaty, heartbeat racing and your stomach felt like turning over at the sight of the house. Usually he would be up by now playing his obnoxiously loud music that you’d hear on the street through the open kitchen window. Instead it was eerily quiet. 

When Joel had parked the car he told you to wait for him but you couldn't. You just ran up the steps, unlocked the door with your spare key and bolted through the house as if on instinct you skipped up the steps to his bedroom. You flung the door open and there he was. Just laying on his designated side with his glasses still on and one hand on his chest across his heart. He looked like he was just sleeping but deep down you knew he was not. You can’t remember a lot, only that you immediately bolted towards the bathroom to empty your stomach out, Joel came up too and tried  comforting you through the heaving. Then he tried to get you away from the scene. Joel took care of everything while you just locked up inside of yourself. No tears, no screams, no words, not a singular reaction just nothing. Joel had never seen you look so…empty. 

Later on the authorities would say it’s just natural cause, he simply passed in his sleep, nothing dramatic. Not the kind of closure you would have wanted. It didn’t matter how “normal” it was, your world stopped spinning entirely. Everyone seemed to go one but you just stopped. 

Suddenly without any foreshadowing everything was completely flipped on its head. You loved him so much, he was your best friend. He told you all the time how much he loved you even with all your struggles. You’d never have to prove your worth to him; he'd love you no matter what. In his eyes you were a gift, opposite to your mother that looked at you as a burden. You never felt loved by her. She took away your precious childhood and forced you to grow up quickly. So you could take care of her. Even when you told her how close to the edge you were she always made everything about herself. Out of your parents the one person that actually wanted you, died and with him so did your willingness to continue with the fight against all your inner demons.

You lost yourself after that. For weeks you just slept, barely moving, only getting up to use the toilet and perhaps eat something small and drink a bit. Joel had to shower you, otherwise you wouldn’t have done it yourself. Who you were before losing your Dad was gone, as if you died with him. 

Joel tried everything in his power to make you feel better. One time he wanted to paint with you since you loved to do that, but the moment your eyes caught sight of the little paint pots you ran for the toilet to empty out your stomach. Later on he realized his mistake, you used to paint with your Dad a lot all the way back in your childhood so of course that would not make you feel better. Then he tried playing music for you either your favorite songs from your playlist or on his guitar. Nothing, you just continued to be completely catatonic. 

Then the funereal came, a day Joel dreaded he was not sure you’d be able to handle it. In the morning he made your hair and applied a bit of makeup, he watched you do your little routine often enough to know what he was doing. Afterwards he dressed you in a simple black dress and equally black flats. Walking only worked since Joel kept you upright. 

Sitting in the front row bench at the chapel you looked like a ghost. Pale and sunken in. You were asked to do a speech about your Dad but that would’ve been impossible. So Joel went up to do it instead. You just stared straight ahead at the coffin, not sparing a glance towards Joel. 

And once everything was over, the people, mostly his colleagues, paid him their respects. When everyone was gone you stayed and just laid your head on the coffin silently sobbing, which was the most emotion Joel had seen in weeks from you. Only he was to witness this vulnerability. 

Staring at the completed grave was just as daunting. His name is written in cold stone. All that’s left is this hole in the earth and a stone on top with his name. 

You walked away without sparring another glance toward the grave.

Then it seemed like you were getting better. You spoke more, ate more and slept less. You even searched out body contact with Joel, though it was just some cuddling and gentle kissing. But he took it as a step in the right direction. 

You almost fully returned to your old self but Joel could have not predicted how wrong he would be. 

He should’ve listened to his gut that told him something was off when you didn’t kiss him goodbye before he left for work that morning. 

You know how hard it will be but there’s no other choice. You have to get away, you have to leave so he can find someone better, someone who deserves a man like Joel Miller, someone less troubled, someone normal. 

Those fears you have now, always were inside of you but with your Dad passing they just all came to the surface. Grief killed you, it took everything, it’s as if you're in a room with a beautiful glowing bulb and some dark entity just rips it away. You're left in the dark and not even Joel’s light can make it better. 

You lost something nothing can replace. 

All your life you feared what would happen if you’d lose someone like this without any way of getting closure, he died without any warning just poof and gone he was. 

Your final goodbye was never said. 

Now you can’t remember how he used to be, you only remember him laying in his bed without moving a damn muscle,dead. You were the one to find him and even though it was not some unsettling scene it’s not leaving your head. You try hard to remember how he spoke that sarcastic tone he usually used. 

You can’t remember his face anymore, not even looking at pictures brings him back and at the same time he’s all you think about as if he’s haunting you. You hate him for leaving you so early. Why him? What kind of curse was laid upon you that everything always seems to fall apart when you think it’s finally working out. 

It’s as if some higher up can sense that you are happy and content with your life and they don’t want to give you that sorta life. 

The moment your brain processed what had happened you fell into the darkness like a big hole that sucked you in without any way out. Anyone around you could be another loss so what do you do? You leave, you disappear so no one gets hurt by whatever is wrong with you. 

Looking at yourself hurts because it’s him you see and it’s him you hear in your head he’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Sometimes you feel like you’re hallucinating because you swear to see him round the corner, you can almost hear him call out but when you try to look there’s nothing. 

Sometimes but much rarer than you’d like to admit you’ve visited the grave, sometimes you speak to no one. Sometimes you scream in agony till you almost lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen. Sometimes you just stare. 

It’s a sick twist of events considering how often he walked on cemeteries with you as a child. You didn’t understand the meaning behind them back then, you only loved to admire the beautiful flower ornaments laying on top of the graves. Your dad always told you how soothing these walks seemed for you. 

One time he took you and you had so much fun admiring the flowers giggling and smiling. Your dad wanted to tell you off since it’s a place where people grieved especially with a woman sitting nearby crying. He went to apologize to her on your behalf but the woman told him not to. She thought it was an uplifting sight to see little you having so much joy about the flowers, that’s a story he always kept telling you again and again. 

All your life those walks soothed your frayed mind. The quiet somber energy is something no other place could compare with. Now it’s the last place you’d wanna be in. The moment you step foot on the property, the panic starts to creep up on you. The closer you get to him the worse it gets. 

Sometimes the voices in your head scream to just start digging into the earth to get him out of that godforsaken coffin. Look at him, do something to bring him back. If the devil would show up to take you instead of your dad you’d do it. He was a troubled man but he tried so hard. He did not deserve any of this, he should’ve been here for all the good times yet to come. 

You imagined him walking you down the aisle, having that stupid first look with him where he’d surely try so hard not to cry but looking at his baby in a wedding dress would’ve been way too much for him to stay strong. You imagined having your first dance with him. 

You imagined how excited he would’ve been to hear that he was going to be a grandpa. In your head you can see him with a little baby that looks just like you. But none of this will ever happen; he's dead. 

Sometimes it’s hard to even look at Joel. He's connected to him as well; he was his boss and one of his closest friends. It’s not fair you know but in your head you see Joel and your dad laughing on the porch about some old men shit like always making their awful dad jokes. Or drinking a beer together or looking to fix something around the house. 

The house, Joel’s house and a place your dad spent a lot of time in. Walking through the hallways is not pleasant anymore, the couch is avoided as best as you can. He used to sit here all the time watching soccer games with Joel. The chair at the dining table he always sat on had to be removed simply seeing it made you sick and eating was already a hefty struggle since he passed. 

He left a mark anywhere and all of it was getting too much. The pressure in your head becomes more and more unbearable. 

Even though you tried to push all those negative festering thoughts away the voices could not be shut up no matter what you tried. 

The worst was when they started to go for Joel, suddenly all you could think of was how he’d die. Joel is only 10 years your dad’s junior. So if he died then why not Joel too. 

So many horrible scenarios played out inside your mind. Car accident, some freak accident on a construction site, getting attacked by multiple people, torturing him slowly, beating him to death, his head all split open, blood everywhere, or what if he gets shot by some crazy Texan who loves guns. There really was not a scenario left to imagine. 

Nightmares in the most cruel ways destroying you slowly from the inside out. And that just proved how one thing can make an avalanche of events happen. He was your purpose for most of your life, you only continued to play this game called life because you could not leave him. And now he left you. 

One time he told you how if it weren’t for you he’d be dead or in jail since there would be no reason to give a damn about his life. He was just like you, living for others instead of for himself. No one understood you like him. Somewhere deep inside you know he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself so much but that singular fact does nothing compared to all the ever suffocating darkness. 

You’d give anything to have him back, feel his warm embrace one more time, hear him say how much he loves you, have him tell you one of his stories, have him tell you it’s going to be alright, take one more look and inhale his signature scent. You have one of his shirts doused in his favorite perfume, it’s what you used to do in all those years you lived far away from him during childhood. Now it does not help like it did back then. What remains of him? Nothing, all of his stuff shoved into a storage unit looked up, buried just like him. 

You know Joel tried hard to be supportive and not push you too hard. Sometimes you wished he would’ve just screamed at you, slapped some sense into you and told you to stop being such a disgraceful mess. That’s what they would’ve done. 

But Joel is not like that,  he helped you so much. Putting himself so far behind. So much so that you feel sorry he has to deal with an ill girlfriend, that’s what you are, a mental wreck. 

He deserves better treatment than the lackluster one you have given him in the last months. He deserves to be free of your weight dragging him down towards the abyss. Even though he told you in the beginning that he loves you with all the baggage and all the challenges, you cannot let him continue to waste his time. 

Besides you’re convinced he’d leave you anyway like everyone before one way or another you end up alone. You have no control of the situation but if you leave then you have the control it still hurts but it’s the only option in your head. 

The decision was made weeks ago, it felt wrong to lie to Joel to keep him thinking everything is fine only to then rip it all away but perhaps it’ll make him hate you so it’s easier. If he hates you then he will be able to move on with his life. Burn all you build together down.

 And then you knew today would be the day. You couldn’t bear to kiss him in the morning; it would only make everything harder. Some time after he left you got up. One last time using the shower you both occasionally used together having foam party’s, giggling, washing each other and then kissing, touching till it leads to you with your cheek squished against the tile and Joel behind you ferociously hitting that special spot inside of you, till you both reach your high. Now you’re alone staring at that specific spot in the tiles, too much so you turn away. 

One last time looking at yourself in the mirror above the sink, the mirror Joel and you both looked into while brushing your teeth. You dry your hair, put on fresh clothes, nothing too dramatic, just some simple black leggings and a black cotton shirt. 

Then you start packing the most important stuff into two big suitcases. Basically only clothes, some hygiene products and a few trinkets that you don’t want to leave behind. The rest can be either sold by Joel or thrown away. You don’t care, the less holding you back the better. 

Once the suitcases are packed you haul them down the stairs towards the front door. And then you just wait. For hours you sit at the dining table just staring ahead at the wall opposite where so many photos of Joel and you hang so many memories and you’ll destroy it. 

You should feel bad but these days you barely feel anything, numb is what you think you feel most of the time. Maybe that’s what your ex meant when he said that you don’t own a heart, that you’re a cold blooded mean person. Someone who plays with people until they stop serving their purpose, that's what he said. 

It’s almost 8pm, Joel should be home soon. You have practically studied the words you’ll say. An Uber already ordered to arrive 15 minutes after he should get home. Not much to talk about the less the easier so you can just walk away. 

Then you hear it, Joel’s truck driving up the driveway and coming to a halt. How he gets out and slams the door shut behind him. His keys jiggling while he searches for the right one. Unlocking the door and closing it behind him. You don’t turn towards him although you know he must be looking at you in astonishment. He can not miss the suitcases and something about the lack of his words tells you he knows exactly what this means. 

Joel cannot believe what he walked into, he knew something was off but just thought that he was starting to imagine things but here you are sitting like an empty shell of yourself and the packed suitcases can only mean one thing, he tries his hardest not to freak out that won’t make anything better. 

He starts walking towards you, slowly, once he reaches the threshold of the living room he speaks up 

“Moon, Darling what’s goin on?” He immediately continues “What’s with those suitcases, huh?” He can’t even hide the nervous quiver in his voice. 

You turn to finally look at him with empty eyes, get up and walk up to him and then “I have to leave.” And with that you move to walk past him but Joel stops you by reaching for you arm, you immediately pull your arm away hissing “Don’t fuckin touch me Joel.” 

He’s stunned by this harsh rejection, his expression full of hurt. Yet he persists by getting close, grabbing your face with both hands, his warm calloused hands that you love- loved so much. He urges “Talk to me baby, what is going on, why would ya need to leave?” Even with everything he tried to be gentle, his voice panicked yet almost just a whisper. 

He can see in your eyes some sadness creeping in when you mutter “Joel..-“ you take one deep inhale “-…this House no longer feels like home.” He can tell even with how hard you try to appear collected that it pains you to say those words. “Wh…what do ya mean? If- if the house is the problem we can just move.” You cut in “No Joel, no i..I don’t love you anymore. Ok? I can’t stay here any longer.” 

It’s a punch right into his gut there’s no way you are serious. “Baby all ya stuff is here you can’t just leave.” He tries to find something to buy him time. “I don’t care Joel just…just throw it away or sell it or I don’t know fuckin burn it. I won’t need it anyway.” He’s so shocked that you use that to continue your path towards the front door and the waiting suitcases. 

On top of one suitcase lies a tote bag containing your phone, a jacket and your wallet sits. You swing it over your shoulder, you can hear that Joel has started crying, his huffed breaths are all you can hear. 

That’s when a car starts honking outside, the Uber is here, you go to open the front door twisting the knob you can hear him walking up behind you with heavy steps. You open the door anyway with him at your back and you move the suitcases out onto the porch. Joel’s trying his hardest to contain his sobbing to a minimum but it’s hard he loves you so much, he thinks about the ring in his wardrobe hidden behind stuff you’d never go for and he thinks about the talks you two had of having a baby. If only he knew 

His heart is breaking watching you walk away from all of it. You turn to him, one last time, he looks shattered, you've never seen Joel like this, you give him a nod as if to give him the ok to touch you one more time if only to give some kind of closure. He moves closer without hesitation and takes your face in his hands once more and leans his forehead against yours. His frantic breathing collides with your face and then “Wh…why Baby just why?” He sobs A simple question and you decide to give him at least something you reach up to put your hands over his to get him to open his eyes. 

“Joel I’m not myself anymore, i-…i feel so all over the place and I’m so scared.” Tears start clouding your sight. “I need to be away from everything. I need to be alone far away to just maybe find some peace. I need to be gone.” And the tears start falling “No matter where I look I can’t stop seeing him and it’s crushing me.” Now you're full on crying. He’s processing what you’re saying and somewhere in his mind he understands that, still he can’t believe this is it. 

“Ok-….if ya need to go at least promise you’ll give some sorta sign ya alright?” He looks desperate “Please Baby….please just a text something anything.” You only nod and then pull out of his grasp, take the suitcases and shakinly make your way to the Uber. Joel can only watch and hope you’ll stick to your words, hope that you’ll find some kind of way back to yourself. 

The Uber driver gets out as you approach and opens the trunk helping to put the suitcases in there. Then you walk to the right door on the back, open it and hesitate for a moment. Joel holds his breath but you continue to slip into the backseat. Closing the door and off the car goes. Joel doesn’t know for how much longer he stood on the porch long after the car was gone. What was there is no more. 

Npt: @almostfoxglove @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @studioghibelli @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @the-mandawhor1an @rivnedell (honestly I’m tagging pretty randomly, sorry) 💙

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

[warmaidensrevenge]

Love and pinball.

Pairings: Eddie x Chrissy x plus!size Fem reader

A/N: Why hello there. I know I've been MIA. But I'm back with a new fic..this part is a little short. But don't worry it's going to get longer as I go. Also, I hope you enjoy the new collage I made. I feel like a little kid learning how to use paint. So hopefully I can make kick ass ones when I get better at it. Anywho, thanks for reading. And as always feedback is greatly appreciated. Feel free to comment on your thoughts. Kay love you byyye.

Word count: 4,037

I do not give permission for anyone to post this anywhere else. Please respect all creators.

Warnings: 18+ no minors. Angst, slow burn, sexual implications, open relationship, language and not proof read.

Part 1: Who are you?

Summary: Eddie never wanted anyone more than Chrissy. But that just might change.

" What about her?" Chrissy nodded her head towards a girl at the snack bar.

Eddie didn't have to look at her to know he didn't want her. He didn't want anyone but Chrissy. Since middle school he had been in love with her. So when he finally got his chance in highschool to be with her. He made a promise to himself to keep her forever. And up until a year ago things were looking really good. Now in their mid 20s, things became a little boring. Well for Chrissy that was the case. She had asked him if they could open up the relationship. Of course at first he said no. But he eventually gave in. He loved her deeply and wanted her to be happy. So he allowed her to do it. The rules were, he didn't want them over at their apartment and he didn't want to know about the sex. Just that they used protection and got an STD screen every 3 months. Now it was a year later and he was unhappy. He had been since she asked. But it got worse. Especially now. Chrissy had forced him to go to The Palace to find himself a girl.

There were a bunch of young ladies that work at The Palace. So she thought he might be interested. Since he spent every Sunday night here when she went out on a date. Little did she know, he didn't go there on Sunday's to check out the talent. He went there because he needed a distraction from what Chrissy was doing. That distraction being pinball. Before he loved it. He would take Chrissy out and she would cheer him on while he played. Now, not only did he go to not be alone. But he went because he had a very competitive nature. And some little dweeb kept beating his high score on the old Grand Prix pinball machine. The game was way in the back and no one ever played it. Well until a few months ago. Eddie seemed to find himself in a battle of wits with some kid. He assumed it was since the notes and the 1 quarter left behind were meant to mock him. 

He never left any responses except for one quarter in the return slot. He thought that beating the kids' high score with exactly 1,000 points every time was enough to get the point across. 

Officially annoyed with Chrissy asking 'How about that one?' For the 6th time, he said he was gonna go and see if the kid had beat his score. There were so many people today. That's why he never came on Friday's or Saturday's. It was always a Sunday night thing when he came. Not that he didn't like kids. He still hung out with his buddies from highschool. Still played D&D, and still had shows at The Hideout. It's just now, all those things became hobbies. And now he had a job. He always liked working with his hands. So a job as a mechanic was perfect. He had the weekends off and that's when he had time to do the things he loved. However this week he got lucky to have a 3 day weekend. In which Chrissy thought he would want to spend it finding a girl he could start screwing. When all he wanted was to spend the long weekend with her. 

As he made his way through the sea of teens, he finally got close enough to see someone playing the very machine he was heading for. He got closer and was a bit taken back by you. The way you were dressed was a sight. Faded denim short shorts with a staff shirt that was tied in the back. Along with a pair of red chucks.

See if Eddie were to explain your outfit to anyone, they would think that there was nothing wrong with it. And there wasn't. It wasn't the clothes that made his eyes wonder and his pants tighten. It was your curves that had him in aww. From your large calves to your luscious thighs that touched,  your perfectly wide hips and up to your hair in two very cute buns. From the back you looked great. 

Eddie got a bit closer to try and see your face. But he didn't want to seem like a creep.

" Hey… Almost done." You said.

He looked around to see who you were talking to.

You chuckled. " Hey, curly McGee. If you're waiting for this. I'll be done in just a sec. I have to beat this twerps score."

Eddie smiled. How could he not? He had been completely wrong about you. He thought his arch nemesis was some little kid.

He finally saw your face and he couldn't help but laugh. Your brows were knitted together and your tongue was hanging out on the side. You were in the zone.

" YES!!! SUCK IT YOU PUNK!" You jumped up, pointing your fingers at the game.

Eddie took a step back to admire your little victory dance. Big beautiful breast bouncing, with a very stunning smile while doing the cabbage patch. 

" Alright bud." You sighed after. " She's all yours."

" Uhhh cool." He said. 

He then watched you pull out a piece of paper and jotted something down. Then placed a quarter in the middle and folded it. Putting it in the same spot as always. Just under the score.

You didn't look at him once. You just smiled at the game and left.

He reached for the note and rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face.

' Good luck loser.'

…

The next time he saw you was at the lake. Robin, who he now knew was your cousin, had invited him out. It was supposed to be fun. But Chrissy had a date. So he thought he would just have a beer and leave. That was until he saw you. You were in the water on a tube just laying there with sunglasses on and a pretty red bathing suit. Floating around with Robin. 

Eddie said hi to everyone. Seems like all his friends were there. The only person who stood out was you. 

He wondered what you were doing there. And how long have his friends been talking to you? He put down the foam ice chest he brought full of beer when you came out of the water and started walking towards him with Robin. 

" Eddie. This is my cousin y/n. Y/n this is Eddie Munson."

Your smile was beautiful. Your sun kissed skin glowed. The way your bathing suit fitted you so tight, could have any guy on their knees for you. That being the case for him right now.

Robin playful pushed him. "Munson?" 

Eddie blinked his thoughts away and shook his head a little.

" S-sorry Ed-eddie…Hi. " He said nervously. " I'm Eddie. Eddie Munson."

Your smile got even bigger and he swore his heart stopped.

"I'm sorry... Eddie is it?" You joked.

He chuckled and scratched the back of his head. 

You turned your gaze behind him. "Hey Steven. Are you ready to get your ass kicked in volleyball?" You teased walking past him.

Eddie's eyes followed you. Figures a gorgeous girl like you wouldn't remember him.

" It uhh was nice to officially meet you curls." You spoke over your shoulder. 

"L-l-likewise." He stuttered

He smirked to himself. Again you proved him wrong.

Robin pulled at his sleeve to get his attention. " Munson, I need to talk to you."

He turned to look at her. " Hey to you too. Nice weather we're havin'."

She shook her head. " Hi Eddie. Common. Follow me."

He agreed and followed her under a tree. 

She hung her head and cleared her throat." So Chrissy called me."

He jerked his head back a little. " What? Why?"

Robin sighed and looked over in your direction. " Apparently, she saw you gawking at my cousin a couple weeks ago."

He looked over and saw you playfully pushed Gareth who was obviously trying to flirt. Why all of a sudden he was jealous. He didn't know. But he didn't like feeling this way for anyone but Chrissy.

"I wasn't gawking Buckley." He turned to meet her gaze. " I was surprised, because she has been the one who's been playing the Grand Prix. I just thought it was some little kid."

Robin rolled her eyes. " Well whatever you did, got Chrissy to call me and ask to find out who she was." She nodded towards you.

" Why?"

She sighed again. " She wants me to make sure you get on more than the first name bases, if you know what I mean."

Eddie swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. He looked back at you and you waved at him. He smiled and waved back. Should he? Could he? He went almost 5 years without wanting to be with anyone but Chrissy. But for some odd reason, this time felt different. Maybe because now he was allowed to.

"Honestly Eddie, I don't like it." 

He looked back at Robin.

" I get that you and Chrissy are in this weird relationship type thing. I'm not judging. But y/n is family. I know that we weren't close growing up and I just found out that we were related like a month ago. Now that I know, I want all of us to get to know her and spend time together… I'm not going to try and push you two together."

Eddie nodded. He didn't want that either. He didn't know exactly what he wanted. He just knew that even though he only got a max of 5 whole seconds with you, he wanted more. Though Chrissy came to mind. She always did. He knew that not only would this make her happy, but he had a gut feeling that you would be a great addition to the friend group. 

" Look Buckley. I really don't want a relationship with anyone besides Chrissy. A friend, I can be. But I think that's all I can be."

Robin smiled at him. " Great! That's all I can ask for."

Eddie grinned and nodded. He really did mean that. However, things were going to happen that he couldn't control.

He walked over and sat on the grass near the unofficial volleyball ball court. He smiled listening to you talk smack to the other team. 

" Oh I'm sorry. Was that a point?" You tease Steve. 

" You touched the net!" He retorted.

You smirked." You wish Steven. Just admit it. You suck."

" Oh please. You wish you were as good as me." Steve bit back.

" By good you mean, a guy with tiny wrists like yours that can't jump. Then I'm okay."

Steve pointed at you. " Hey! You take that back before I come over there."

You stuck out your tongue. " Sorry. Sucks to suck Steven."

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. You're feisty.

After the game a new one started up. You came over to him and held out a beer, while sitting down.

" You look like a blue ribbon type of guy."

Eddie nodded. " How could you tell?"

He took the beer and sucked on the fizz when he opened it.

You shrugged. " I don't actually know. Just a feeling I guess."

It was awkwardly quiet after you said that. For the first time in a long time he was actually nervous. He wanted to say something but nothing sounded good. Then he thought.

Volleyball. Ask about volleyball.

He cleared his throat by taking a drink of the ice cold beer. Giving him a little bit more time.

" It's getting pretty hot." You said shielding your eyes.. 

" Y-yeah it is." 

" Want to cool off in the water?"

He looked at you and smiled. " Sure."

You clapped your hands and got up. " Common bud. Last one there is a burnt chicken nugget."

Eddie furrowed his brow and did a small laugh through his nose. " It's a rotten egg."

You turned around walking backwards. " I like mine better."

He grinned and got up. Following you to the lake. He stopped and took off his shoes and pulled off his shirt.

" AHHH MY EYES!" You teased. Holding up your hands towards him and looking away.

" Uhhh what?"

You laughed. " You need a tan curls."

" Today's the day for skin cancer I guess." He responded.

" Well no. We can't have that." You said coming out of the water. 

Eddie watched you head to a bag under a tree. When you came back you had a bottle.

You handed him the sun screen. " Spf 75. Anything above 40 is good for ink." 

" Didn't know that… Thanks."

You smiled at him. Making his palms sweat.

" Do you want help with your back?"

Umm I have a girlfriend." He blurted.

You jerked your head back a little and Eddie was too embarrassed to look at you.

Stupid stupid. Why the hell-

Your sudden laughter confused him.

" Uhh okayyyy…good for you bud. I wasn't hitting on you or anything like that. Just offering help."

He nervously laughed. " Erm…sorry I-"

" Nope." You held up your hand. " No offense. But you're not my type. And I'm sure if you didn't have a girlfriend. I wouldn't be your type either."

" Well you would be wrong."

You lifted a brow.

He gave you a thin lip smile. " I don't have a type."

You nodded. " I see. Well I apologize for assuming."

It was quiet again. Eddie didn't know what to say or do. He wished he hadn't said that. And now he was trying to figure out why he wasn't your type.

" So uhh do you want my help? With your back?"

" Y-yeah. I don't want to turn into a burnt chicken nugget."

You laughed. " I don't think anyone wants that."

He poured some of the cream on his hands and gave you the bottle. He braced himself for you to squirt cold lotion on. But he was wrong again. He felt your warm soft touch on his shoulders. You kept surprising him. Once you were done you gave him a slight push.

" Common curls."

He nodded. And before he got in two of his friends ran past him. Steve and Gareth grabbed you by your arms and legs. Both flinging you into the water. Before you went under you yelped. When you came back up you ran your hand over your face. Taking off your sunglasses. 

" Oh you little shits!" You said through your teeth. Eddie came out to check if you were okay. You shook your head to the side to drain the water from your ear.

" You good?" He asked.

" Yeah bud. Ummm could you give me a hand?" You nudged your head towards the chuckling Steve and Gareth.

" With pleasure sweetheart."

You beamed a smile at him. " On the count of 3."

He nodded and you started to count. But when you got to 3. Instead of saying 3 you said 5. Catching him off guard. He gave you a confused look but you just laughed and lunged at Gareth. Eddie shook his head and went for Steve.

After a while Eddie found himself on a donut tied to yours. Just floating around. The sun was going down and he could hear his buddies playing around with fireworks. Normally he would be right next to them. Lighting a few, if not all of them. But being around you felt different. It was exciting and fun. You said and did things that had him on his toes. But as the sun set you seemed to be getting tired. You were less rambunctious and more calm. He was too. 

" Why didn't your girlfriend come?"

He opened his eyes and looked over to you. " Umm. She uhh had to work."

You gave him a half smile. " That's a shame. I would have liked to have met her."

" I'm sure you will…that is if you plan on hanging out with us more."

You sighed and smiled at him." I look forward to it." 

…

A few weeks after the day at the lake, Eddie was supposed to have a date night with Chrissy. However, she had to cancel due to work stuff. So bummed and bored he called up Gareth and asked if he wanted to go to The Hideout.

When they walked in and it was busier than usual. They found a couple of empty stools and hurried to grab them. 

" What can I get you?"

Eddie looked up as you placed napkins in front of them. 

" Hey! What are you doing here?"

You grinned at Gareth. " I work here sometimes. When it's busy like this." You looked over to him. " Hey bud."

Eddie smiled. " Hey sweetheart…can I get uh-"

You turned around and pulled out a beer for him. " Blue ribbon." You said with another beautiful smile.

He chuckled. " Yeah. Thanks."

You looked over to Gareth. " Let me guess." You narrowed your eyes for a second and grinned. " Apple wine cooler."

Gareth's eyes widened. " WHAT?! NO! Give me a blue ribbon too."

You leaned in so that only they could hear you. " I'll put that wine cooler in a glass. It will look like beer." 

Gareth was embarrassed but he whispered a small thanks.

Eddie nearly spit out his beer. He turned to laugh. 

Gareth punched his arm. " Shut up man!"

" Sorry man. That's just hilarious."

" Well I think that the man has taste." You winked at Gareth. Leaning over just a bit over the counter. " Honestly, beer and hard liquor are gross. Fruity drinks are the way to go." 

You leaned back and rang them up. When you left to help other customers, Eddie couldn't help checking you out. You had on knee high boots with a tight leather skirt. It hugged your round ass so perfectly that he nearly drooled. And the pink halter top only added to your sexiness. 

" She's something huh?" Gareth asked.

Eddie's tongue shot out and moistened his lips." I uhhh…yeah."

" She's single you know."

Eddie looked at his best friend. Giving him a thin lip. " I'm not."

Gareth sighed. " Maybe it's time you should be."

Eddie looked back at you laughing away. His heart leaped. "Maybe."

…

Later that night. You were trying to turn on your car. But it would work. Eddie stayed for a while after Gareth went with some girl. He wanted to make sure some drunk asshole wouldn't bother you.

He went outside when he didn't see you behind the bar after using the restroom. When he walked around the corner of the building he saw you lifting your hood.

" Hey."

You looked over your shoulder. " Oh hey. I thought you left."

" Was just about to. Uhh do you need help?"

You looked back down at the car. " I need a jump. I think I accidentally left my lights on."

" I have cables in my van. Let me pull it around."

You nodded and he went. 

When he came back you were leaning against the car with your ankles crossed and holding yourself. Before he could actually think, he grabbed a blanket from the back and jumped out.

" Here. Don't want you to freeze sweetheart."

You thanked him and wrapped yourself up like a burrito. He smirked seeing how cute you looked. He went to grab the cables and started to hook them up. 

" Try turning it on, yeah?"

 You nodded and went. But it didn't want to start.

" That doesn't sound like your battery's dead. It sounds like your starter went out."

Your brows knitted together. "Oh…umm. Sorry. I didn't know. I thought I was forgetful again."

Eddie walked to the driver side and bent down so he could see you. " Don't be sorry. But umm all the body shops are closed right now. You could get it towed to one."

You looked away and looked like you were about to cry. " Umm yeah…okay" 

The way you said it made him feel sad. 

" Or." 

You looked at him again. " Or?"

" Or I can go to the shop I work at and get a truck. Then I can work on it tonight."

He saw you blink away your tears.

" Um no you don't have to do that. I-I can wait."

" Hey." He said, grabbing your hand. "Let me help you."

A few seconds passed before you agreed.

…

You were sitting on his swivel chair. All wrapped up, watching him work. He could feel your eyes on him. And he liked it. Every once in a while he would look up and catch you just before you looked away. Every time he smirked to himself. 

" S-so. Curly one. How long have you worked here?"

He grunted trying to get a bolt loose. " About 4 years."

" Nice. Do you like it?"

He quickly glanced at you and you were rocking back and forth with a little smile. 

" Yeah. It keeps me calm."

" That's good." 

He smiled at you and stood up straight to stretch his back. 

" So uhh what do you do other than work at The Palace and The Hideout sometimes?"

" Oh just a little bit of this and a little bit of that."

He turned his head a little and side eyed you. 

You giggled. " Okay. So during the day I work at a daycare. And nights or weekends I do side jobs. Like bartending or emptying out coin slots. You know. Real challenging stuff."

He laughed. " I can see how one would find that difficult."

You laughed and he felt a warmth in his chest that he hasn't felt in a long time. He bent over again trying to get access to what he was working on.

" How do you like working with kids?"

You got up and leaned next to him. " I love it. I have so much fun with them. And they're just so cute with their chubby cheeks and tiny shoes."

Seeing you so happy about your job made him feel excited for you. He was happy that you were happy. 

" Do you plan on having kids?" He asked.

You sighed happily. " Oh I hope so. I want 5."

" 5? Really?"

You leaned over and caught his eye. " Oh definitely. Have to keep it an even number."

He chuckled at your joke.

" What about you?"

He stood up straight and wiped his brow with his shirt. " Uhh yeah. But I want 7."

" SEVEN!? Jesus!"

" What? Too much?"

You giggled. " Nah. That's a good amount. The bigger the family the more spare parts."

Eddie shook his head and laughed. " You're something else, you know that?"

" Thanks. I try."

You both stared at each other for a second. He wanted to move closer to you. He wanted to know how soft your lips were. How your tongue would taste like.

" So ummm." You broke eye contact first. " How does your girlfriend feel about 7 little ones?"

Shit Chrissy.

" Uhh we uhh haven't talked about that yet."

" O-oh. Sorry. I-"

" It's just uhhh. She's busy. And we hardly see each other."

You were quiet and Eddie could feel the tension building. He had a thought. Maybe if he told you the situation, could you be interested? Or would you turn and run away? A part of him wanted someone to talk to about this problem. But another part of him just wanted to keep quiet and wait until Chrissy finally gave it up. At the same time he didn't know if he could ever get back the relationship he had before. Did he still want to? Or was it time to move on? Maybe with you?

He went back to work while you went to sit back down. He didn't mean to make you feel awkward. But he did. And now you were quiet. He wanted to know what you were thinking. 

" So uhh when do you see her?"

He didn't look at you this time. He kept his eyes on what was in front of him. " Well Saturday's normally. But she had to work."

" Oh... Well you'll see her in the morning. Make sure to give her extra kisses. And tell her you missed her."

That comment made him smile. He looked at you and you seemed genuinely sincere. 

" Will do sweetheart."

" Good. Now will you hurry up. I'm freezing here."

He chuckled. " Yes ma'am."

…

[cunty-mystic]

Free Readings are Open!✨

Hello loves!! I'm opening my free readings back up for a limited time between 5am to 8am PST. I will be using the classic Rider Waite Deck, and these readings can be anywhere from 1-3 cards. I will not be answering yes or no questions, and I would greatly appreciate reviews/feedback about how much my readings resonate with you. When leaving an ask or sending a message please leave your name or your first & last initials to get a more accurate reading. Remember, tarot is used for guidance, advice, alternative perspectives, and reading current energies and is not for accurately predicting the future as nothing is set in stone and energies are always changing.

If you miss the opportunity to ask your question don't stress as I will be opening up readings more frequently to expand my portfolio. Keep my notifications on to know when my free readings will be opening & closing, and if to see if I have already answered your question. If you would like your reading to be privately answered, please let me know in your ask or just dm me while readings are open. Thank you all so much for your continued support💞

(I'm also trying out a new form of divination to predict probability using a D-20 dice. 1 representing the most unlikely to manifest and 20 representing the most likely. If you would like to give it a whirl, please include it in your ask as well!)

[sunkissedchldrecon]

hello sun!! first of all congratulations on hitting the 2k followers mark!! you deserve it queen ❤️ i have been following your blog for a while now and you are such a good tarot reader! your intuition is always spot on and your pacs always resonate with me,, prolly cause im a sagittarius too 😭

a pac or game i would like you to do if you find the time and energy for it, is how can we be the baddest most successful high vibrational self. like career wise, mentality wise, how to get that real glow up, that would be very interesting. idk if you have already done something along those lines, if yes then pls ignore 😭

another pac idea is if your life was a movie what would the story be and what actors would play the parts (this may be a little random but yk why not!)

may i please join your Thanks to y2k game? i would like to select Rock the Boat - Aaliyah - how will a sexual encounter (with my future spouse) go? from the party mix.

thank you so much for your time! thank you for hosting this game & i love youuuu 💕

hello! i really like both your PAC ideas and wrote them down to come back to :D i also really appreciate you saying you resonated with the readings i've done so far; it helps me a ton :)

Cards: Three of Wands, The World, Page of Swords (Rx), Two of Cups, Six of Wands

in the three of wands, there’s a castle in the background that reminds me of hogwarts, so the first word that comes to mind when it comes to a sexual encounter between you and your future spouse is “magical”. with the world, you two will definitely be sexually satisfied with one another. i also get the sense you two could feel like each other’s best sexually, like you two move well together and know one another’s bodies greatly.

one of the words associated with page of swords rx is “all talk”, so i’m reminded of beyonce’s drunk in love when jay z is like, “time to back up all that mouth // you had up in that car // talking bout you the baddest bitch so far”. you could like to tease your spouse, and they could like to see you back that teasing up with action so to speak! overall, there’s an emphasis on fostering connection and being satisfied when it comes to sexual encounters between you and your future spouse.

thank you for participating! feedback is appreciated but not required <3

[minho-hoho]

Hello guys! :D

I just got out of school, so I'm going to take this time to say a few things.

First, thank you to the anon that sent me multiple asks of feedback! I read each one of them thoroughly, and will work on everything that you mentioned. I didn't have the time to answer them because I was at school. So I'm taking the time I have right now to do exactly that. Thank you for taking your time and telling me exactly what was wrong kindly.

To the second Anon telling me what was wrong in TDS?! I'm so grateful that you told what was wrong especially the POV mistakes. I changed it as soon as I had time, next time I proofread I won't do it sleep deprived. It probably went over my head as I probably skimmed over the lines rather than actual looking at each line and try to find any mistakes, which is on me, I need to get rid of those habits.

I'll still answer each of the asks, just doing this now in case I don't have time to do so later.

If this also has errors and whatnot blame it on me sleeping less than hour lol.

Alright, thank you for the feedback, it's always greatly appreciated and welcome.

I love y'all and wish you all a great day/evening/night 🤍

[sinsforjeon]

Possessive|3|

[HELLO LOVELIES💕 I PROMISED A PART THREE AND HERE IT IS-PROBABLY LONG OVERDUE BUT PLS FORGIVE MEEE:D I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR IT ALSO YOUR FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED I LOVE HEARING YOUR OPINIONS OK ENJOY ILY🤩💕]

(!!! tw this contains themes similar to emotional abuse and a dysfunctional relationship so if you’re triggered by that then please don’t read this!!! stay safe💕)

Pregnant? No. You couldn’t be, there was no way.

Jungkook was laying next to you, his hand mindlessly skimming against the soft skin of your stomach.

“Kookie?”

“Hm?”

“I can’t be pregnant.”

It was dead silent after that but not for long, maybe a few seconds. He laughed loudly before leaning down to press a loving kiss against your tummy.

“Did you hear that, little one? Your mommy is being silly!”

“Kook-“

“She thinks you don’t exist!”

You were rendered speechless from his actions. You knew you couldn’t be pregnant because you were taking birth control pills.

“But kookie, I take birth control pills, remember?”

He simply chuckled before he looked up at you. You couldn’t tell what was going on through his mind but then again he was never one to show any emotions.

“Birth control pills? You mean the ones that I’ve swapped out for sugar pills for the last two months?”

It felt like the breath had been knocked out of you. As if someone had poured an ice cold bucket of water over your head.

“W-What?”

“You heard me. We are having a baby.”

You let out a broken sob as reality finally began to set in. You were having a baby. You were having Jungkook’s baby.

“Oh baby, no don’t cry! Is my princess really that happy?”

Jungkook cooed as he brought you into his embrace, your face nuzzling his neck as he ran a hand through your hair and left soft kisses against your forehead.

To any outsiders you probably looked like a loving couple, one that was about to have the perfect little family they always dreamed of, but you were far from it.

You sobbed, shaking your head as an endless string of ‘nos’ fell from your lips. Jungkook rocked the both of you back and forth in hopes that it would calm you down but it seemed to make it worse.

“No? What’s wrong baby, hm? Tell kookie so he can fix it, angel.”

“I can’t- I don’t want a baby, Jungkook! I don’t want your b-baby!”

Jungkook took in a sharp breath at your words before he pulled back, his hands on your shoulders as he held you at an arm length distance. He looked at you as if you had stabbed him in his heart.

“You- You don’t want my baby?”

“T-That’s not what I meant!”

“Well what the fuck did you mean then?!”

This was falling apart very quickly and you had no idea how to take control of the situation. Jungkook was already seething and he wouldn’t give up until he had the final word.

You gulped as you got up from the bed, hiccups slowly crawled up your throat but you forced them down as you hastily wiped your tears.

You took a deep breath before you turned back to him. The panic you had felt earlier was slowly simmering down but it was the opposite for the man across you.

“Kookie- I didn’t mean like that! You know I love you, right?”

“You don’t want my baby? You-“

He let out a humorless laugh as he ran a hand through his hair before harshly tugging on the roots of his hair out of frustration.

“You don’t want my baby- you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

“Listen-“

“No! You listen to me! I’ve had enough of your fucking outbursts, do I have to make every decision for you? Cause you clearly can’t make up your fucking mind!”

God you had messed up, he was mad but even that was an understatement. Jungkook was fuming. His breathing had started to get erratic so you slowly made your way to him in hopes to help him calm down.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Y/N-“

“Jungkook, baby? Please calm d-down for me, yeah?”

“Y/N, so help me god if you lay your hand on me I’ll do something I’ll regret.”

You gulped, hesitating but still walked towards him. You placed your hands above where his heart was, his heartbeat was fast and so you did the one thing you knew would calm him down. You cried.

Jungkook liked it when you cried, it showed him that he was in control, that you were dependent on him. It worked, your quiet whimpers brought him out of his reverie. He sighed, frustration still clear in his eyes but he brought you into his arms regardless.

“I-I do want your babies, Kookie, was just scared-“

“Shh, baby, don’t cry, hm? It’s ok my love, no more tears.”

You hiccuped, more tears making their way down your face but you were crying for a completely different reason. You had shown weakness again, you had submitted to Jeon Jungkook once again.

You felt the first sign of your pregnancy a week later when you woke up with a strong urge to throw up. You bolted up from the bed as you quickly ran to the bathroom, waking Jungkook up in your frenzy before you fell on your knees in front of the toilet and emptied your stomach contents into the ceramic bowl.

Jungkook hurried after you as he kneeled down beside you in concern. He cooed quietly when he realized what was going on, he held your hair back with one hand as the other rubbed soothing circles on your back.

You whined quietly from the ache that now sat in your throat, the bitter taste in your mouth didn’t help either. Your peace didn’t last long before you lurched forward once again, gagging into the bowl.

Jungkook stayed by your side through it all, he then helped you to brush your teeth before he led you back to bed again. He held you close in his arms, one hand protectively around your stomach and the other in your hair.

“Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?”

“Why are y-“

“If it’s a girl, then I hope she turns out to be exactly like you.”

You let out a forced chuckle as you looked down at the hand around your stomach. You weren’t ready, you weren’t emotionally ready to be a mother and Jungkook was definitely not ready to be a father.

How could you tell him that though? How could you tell him that you didn’t want a baby, not now at least. He would flip, but you had to take a chance.

“Jungkook?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t want a baby.”

He let out a snort before he placed a kiss on your forehead. You didn’t know what it meant but you didn’t question it. He was quiet as if he was contemplating his next words.

“It’s ok.”

“It is?”

“Mhm, I heard first time mothers always get cold feet but I know you don’t really mean it and don’t worry baby, Kookie will take care of everything, yes?”

This was not going anywhere, you were going in circles and it was endless. You fight, you cry, you ‘make up’ and it begins again. You knew that you were going to have his baby whether you liked it or not.

“Just make sure you take care of yourself so that our little peanut is healthy.”

“Yeah... I’ll do that.”

You were tied down from here on out, trapped with a baby. Jungkook’s baby. You could only hope that the new responsibility would change him for the better, for your sake but most importantly for the sake of your child.

You laid there until he fell asleep, silent tears trailed down your face. This wasn’t how you had envisioned life to be like. You always thought you’d be happy like all the princesses in those Disney movies, you’d be the princess and you’d always find your Prince charming and you did in a way but he was not what you had expected.

He was controlling, short tempered but then again he was loving so why did you feel so weighed down? Why did you feel unhappy?

You were a good person, weren’t you? So why had life been so cruel to you? Why didn’t you get the happy life that you deserved, the one all your friends had.

These questions ran through your head until you found yourself getting sleepy and so you slept, you slept in the arms of the love of your life and the father of your child but one thought stayed in your mind even throughout your dreams.

What did you ever do to deserve this life?

For the next few months Jungkook was nothing but pleasant. You no longer fought and you barely found yourself crying. It actually felt like you were a normal couple.

You were nearly due to give birth and the nerves had started to set in. You knew your water could break any day now and you found yourself always on edge even though Jungkook reassured you time and time again.l that everything would go as planned.

The new demeanor from your boyfriend didn’t go unnoticed, you were confused at first but eventually you found yourself getting used to his gentle words and touches.

It began the day when you both found out the gender of your baby. You were having a baby boy, Jungkook had been so happy that he began crying. You had never seen him cry before and you had no idea what to do but to bring him into your arms.

From then on he would tend to your every want and need, always rubbing your feet, getting you whatever food you craved for the day or night and would stay by your side 24/7, occasionally conversing with his unborn son. The sight was wholesome, seeing him smile wide was rare but when your boy kicked at the sound of his voice his whole face lit up.

It was perfect. He was perfect but of course good things don’t last forever, not for you at least. Jungkook worked from home, always had but on this particular day he had to attend business somewhere else.

The news didn’t sit well with you. You were so used to having him around you that him leaving for over an hour was enough to send you into a panicky state, especially now, you needed him more than ever because the baby was almost here.

“D-Do you have to go?”

“Y/N... yes! Yes I have to go, how many times do I need to tell you this?”

You whimpered quietly at the tone of his voice, it had been so long since he got angry at you and you didn’t want it to begin anytime soon.

“Kookie, don’t leave please! I need you here with me.”

“Fucks sake, Y/N, do you even hear yourself? You’re making it sound like I’m going to war! It’s just a couple of hours, angel, I’ll be back.”

His words somehow set you off, he was talking down to you and it made you feel stupid but more than anything it made you angry. Maybe you were being unreasonable but rightfully so. He was going to leave you in a house that was basically in the middle of nowhere when you could pop out a baby at any given moment.

“But-But what if the baby comes and you aren’t here?! Then what am I-“

“God! You are pissing me off, Y/N, I’m already stressed enough as it is don’t add anymore fucking baggage to my problems.”

This was the Jungkook you knew, one that had been locked far away for a very long time, maybe too long and maybe that’s why he was being so harsh. You let out a shocked chuckle at his words.

“Really? I’m adding on to your problems? I told you! I fucking told you that we weren’t ready for this but no! Kookie always knows best right? I should’ve known you weren’t ready to be a father-“

Your words seem to set him off even further, you were adding fuel to a burning fire and it was bound to end in flames. He slowly walked towards you, a frown etched on his face as he ran a hand through his hair.

“You’re making me angry, Y/N. Do not-“ He gulped before taking a deep breath to center himself. “Do not make me angry, not today.”

“Oh fuck you, Jeon Jungkook! I’m the one who is carrying a human that YOU put in me so I’ll make you angry all I want. I swear to god if you walk out of that door, you will come back to an empty house.”

Jungkook growled at your words, his hand quickly going around your neck, it was loose but it scared you half to death. Maybe you had pushed him too far this time, so far that he had forgotten that you were carrying his baby.

“Now you better listen to me, little girl because I’m only going to say this once and I won’t repeat myself, am I clear?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Good. First of all, don’t you ever, ever raise your fucking voice at me again, secondly do not even think about setting foot out of this house, not with my son because I will haunt you and when I do find you, you’ll wish you were never born and finally don’t threaten me, angel, don’t ever make that mistake again because you never threaten Jeon Jungkook and get away with it.”

You gulped, nodding quickly before he pulled his hand away from you just as quickly as he had wrapped it around your neck. Jungkook took another deep breath before cradling your face in his hands.

He wiped the tears that had leaked down your face, you had been crying? You were so scared that you didn’t realize and even now the feeling of his hands on your face made your heart beat fast with fear.

“I’m going to go now, ok? And you will lock the door after me, don’t try anything stupid because it won’t end well. Don’t make me make you cry again, angel.”

He left but not without a soft kiss on your forehead. He grabbed his car keys and phone before he made his way out of the house. And just like that you were left alone.

You let out a breath of relief as you finally locked the door. It was silent, something that you weren’t used to because Jungkook would always find something to talk about for hours on end.

It was silent, until it wasn’t anymore. You felt it first but you refused to believe it but then you heard it. Had it been a different scenario you would assume that you had peed on yourself but it wasn’t, this was reality.

Your water broke.

[mint-yooxgi]

The Hills - Yoongi X Reader {M}

Song Fic - Inspired by The Hills by The Weeknd

Genre: Angst, Smut (Sort of a FWB Situation)

Pairing: Yoongi X Reader

Words: 3,100

A/n: Something small I started back in the summer and only got around to finishing now. It’s not my best work, I will admit, but I think it gets the main point across. Very loosely based off the song, and normally I would link it but Tumblr is being weird again. I apologize in advance for this shitstorm. Anyways, feedback is always greatly appreciated, I do hope you enjoy this one!

He wakes up in an unfamiliar place, the sunlight peeking through the curtains of the dark bedroom acting as his only source of light. He sits up, pushing the sleeping body of the girl who’s name he can’t remember off of him in the process. She stirs in her sleep, and he looks down at her naked form.

Letting out a sigh, he stands from the bed, grabbing his clothes off the floor in the process. In a few minutes, he’s dressed and heading down the stairs, fixing his jacket on the way out of the door.

He drives home in silence, hands gripping the wheel tightly as he travels down the road. Once he gets home, he unlocks his door, kicks off his shoes, and heads into the kitchen.

Yoongi lets out another sigh, glancing at the clock and seeing it’s only three in the afternoon. He grabs something quick to eat before making his way up the stairs to take a shower. After all, he has plans later.

Meanwhile, you sit outside on your back patio, lounging by your pool with a few of your close friends. All of you take small sips of your drinks every now and then, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your skin.

“Are you going to Jimin’s party tomorrow?” Sunmi asks you, swirling the ice in her drink around as she looks at you over her sunglasses.

“I’m thinking of it,” you reply, nonchalantly.

“Oh, come on (Y/n), you need to get out of your house at some point or other, and not just when necessary,” Mina sends you a look from her location by the pool.

“I do go out,” you say in defence, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “I don’t like huge, fancy parties.”

“That’s right,” Sunmi teases. “You only like loud parties, when the booze are free and the guys are hot.”

“Exactly,” you tip your glass in her direction before taking a sip.

“What ever happened to our sweet, little, innocent (Y/n) who was too intimidated to go out to party,” Mina teases.

“She grew up,” you state, staring straight ahead and watching what few branches of the trees in front of you sway in the wind.

Before either of them can reply, your phone buzzes with a new message. You briefly glance down to see the name that appears on your screen and almost smirk. You make no effort to reach for your phone to see what the message says, or reply for that matter.

“Aren’t you going to see what that says?” Mina asks, raising her eyebrow at you.

“No, I’m spending time with you guys. Whoever this is can wait,” you reply, turning your phone over as you receive yet another message from the same person.

Each time your phone buzzes, your smirk becomes wider. You know how impatient he can get when you don’t answer him right away. In fact, you’re surprised he hasn’t called you yet.

Not even a second later, your phone starts ringing.

“If you don’t answer it, I will,” Sunmi half jokes, half threatens.

You send her a look before picking up your phone, “hello?”

“What are you doing?” Yoongi’s voice is heard through the speaker, almost sounding disinterested in the conversation despite being the one to call you first.

“I’m busy,” you reply, rolling your eyes even though he can’t see.

“No you’re not,” comes his gruff response. “I’m coming over.”

“Why now?” You sigh, furrowing your brow in discontent.

He doesn’t respond right away, the silence creeping through the speaker like a fog until he breaks it, “I need you.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before hanging up as your breath hitches in your throat slightly. You place your phone back onto the table, staring at your hand now resting on top of it. 

You feel two sets of eyes on you, successfully breaking you out of your thoughts.

“I’d hate to cut this visit short, but I have some work to do now,” you sigh once more, standing up from your seat and grabbing your drink in the process.

Sunmi and Mina share a look. They both know who just called, but they won’t say anything since they respect you too much.

“Alright, just make sure you take care of yourself,” Sunmi says, looking straight into your eyes as she stands as well. You catch the double meaning hidden behind her words. You know they know.

“Don’t get too invested,” Mins adds, sending you her own look, but you swear you can almost see pity in her eyes.

Little do they know.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me,” you give them a reassuring smile as you walk them through your house and to the front door. “I can take care of myself.”

Once the front door closes after them, you rest your forehead against it, the coolness of the glass feeling good against your hot skin. You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket where you placed it.

D-Boi: What’s your address again? Is it 104 or 106?

You shake your head and roll your eyes as you type your reply.

You: It’s 108 genius.

Of course he wouldn’t remember, he’s only been to your house a handful of times, always wanting you to go over to his instead. Also, how could he even bother to remember when he’s at a different house every night, fucking a new girl every time.

You click your tongue as you make your way into your living room, taking a seat on the couch as you wait for him to arrive.

You can still remember how this entire arrangement started. You both met at one of Jimin’s infamous parties, one of the ones where you had to dress up for. He looked as out of place as you did, felt as out of place as you did.

Before the end, the two of you slipped away into the night, tangled with each other in your sheets until you woke up the next morning to a note on your pillow with a half assed message scrawled across it. He even had the audacity to leave his number.

You didn’t bother calling him after that.

The next time the two of you saw each other, he was leaving one of your friends’ houses early in the morning. Both of you were surprised to see each other again, and he even had the balls to ask you why you never called him.

Your friendship, if you can even call it that, is certainly unstable, but on the rare occasion where the two of you actually hang out, you enjoy his company. He makes you laugh, and you can actually have conversations with him that you find intellectually stimulating. You don’t read into anything though. You never have, and you never will.

In all honestly, you don’t care about him using you like this. You’re comfortable with your arrangement of this twisted friends with benefits situation. After all, you’re using him, just about as much as he’s using you. You enjoy a good fuck as much as the next girl, why should you limit your options?

“Do you always leave your door open for anyone to just walk in?” His gruff voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Only you,” turning all your attention to him with a smirk on your face, you take in his appearance. “What happened to you, you look like shit.”

“Nice to see you too, (Y/n),” he rolls his eyes, walking over to sit on the couch beside you, letting out a sigh as he does so.

“Rough night?” You tease, moving to straddle his lap.

Immediately, his hands are on your hips as a smirk tugs at his lips, “it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you can make it better now.”

Without another word, he presses his lips to yours in a heated kiss, one of which you return just as intensely.

“Fuck, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to see you,” he murmurs against your lips, grip tightening on your hips as you begin to grind down into his lap.

He’s right, you haven’t seen him in a while. You figured he didn’t care anymore, and was going to end your relationship, if you can even call it that. Not that it would be that big of a loss.

“I’ve missed you,” you whisper against his ear, successfully sending a shiver down his spine.

He leans his head back as you trail your lips along his neck, sucking marks into his skin that he knows he won’t cover up. Usually he hates it when girls mark his skin, but with you, he can make an exception.

His hands slip underneath your shirt, setting a fire to your skin as they trail a path up your body, resting just below your bra. He strips you of your shirt in the next moment, taking in the sight of you in your white lace bra. His favourite.

He swears you do this on purpose to tease him, almost as if you knew he was coming today. Your entire being is like a divine sin to him, something that no matter how hard he tries to escape, he can never bring himself to.

Removing his shirt, you lean back in his lap, threading your fingers through his hair. Cupping his face in your hands, you look at him, and you swear you see something akin to admiration flash in his eyes. You dive back in for another kiss before you can think too much about it.

In the next moment, you find yourself laying on your back, Yoongi hovering overtop of you with a smirk resting on his features. He reaches around you to unclasp your bra, and is flinging it across the room soon after.

Trailing wet kisses down your neck, he brings his hand up to cup your breast, hearing you moan out for him. He feels his cock twitch in his jeans at your sounds, the way you call out for him, so needy, and he hasn’t even done anything to you yet. He finds himself humming in appreciation as he takes a nipple into his mouth, letting his hand pinch at the other one.

“Yoongi,” you breath out, and he feels his heart race in his chest.

Sitting up on his knees, he stares down at you with slightly wide eyes. That’s never happened before.

Before he can register what’s happening, you’ve pushed him back on the couch. Your hands fiddle with his belt before you’re finally sliding his jeans down his legs, along with his boxers, freeing his hard cock from his confines.

Leaning down, you take his cock into your hand, stroking him a few times before licking a teasing stripe from the base all the way to the tip. He lets out a low groan as he feels you wrap your lips around his tip and suck lightly, tongue darting out to tease him even more.

He doesn’t know why the sight of you between his legs, with his cock in your mouth is turning him on this much. He’s seen you do this to him hundreds of times before, felt what you’re doing to him. For some reason, this time feels different, it feels even better than all the other times, and he doesn’t want you to stop.

Gathering your hair into his hands, he guides your mouth over him, letting out an appreciative moan as you hollow your cheeks over him, increasing your speed until he’s close to coming.

Tugging at your hair a little harder than he intends to, he pulls you away from his cock before he can come. The pout he sees form on your face makes him smirk, thinking of how cute you look in this moment, wanting to suck him to completion.

He watches you as you strip yourself of the rest of your clothes, using this time to clear his thoughts. Usually, he’s able to fuck you, no problem, but for some reason, his mind seems distracted. He keeps telling himself there’s nothing between the two of you, but he finds himself wanting more.

You’re the only girl he goes back to. Every. Single. Time.

He finds himself thinking about you whenever he’s with other girls. None of them can please him like you can. None of them are you.

He barely registers you handing him the condom, his body on autopilot as he puts it on. 

Crawling over his figure on the couch, you take him into your hand once more, positioning yourself above him before slowly sinking down onto his cock. Moans escape both your lips at the feeling of him filling you up. He gives you a moment to adjust once you fully take him in, feeling your walls pulse around him, and making him grit his teeth to suppress another moan that wants to escape his lips.

Ever so slowly, you begin to move your hips against his. Leaning down to nip at his neck, you feel his hands gripping your hips tightly, helping to guide your movements over him.

“You feel amazing, filling me up like this,” you moan into his ear, sending another shiver down his spine, “so good.”

Something in him snaps at that moment, flipping you over with a grunt and ruthlessly pounding into you. He grabs your one leg and holds it to his side, hitting deeper than he was able to before, and hearing your breath hitch as he hits that special spot inside you. Adjusting his hips slightly, he makes sure to hit that spot repeatedly with each thrust.

Your moans are increasing in pitch and volume, and he can tell you’re getting close.

“That’s it, baby girl, come for me,” he growls into your neck, biting down on your skin, leaving his marks all over you. “Let go.”

At his words, you find yourself coming with a cry of his name. Seeing you come undone moaning his name is the final push he needs, and he finds himself coming shortly afterwards.

The two of you collapse onto the couch, your breaths coming in short bursts. His hands rest on the sides of your hips as his head buries itself in your chest. For some reason, your heartbeat serves to calm him today.

Much to his dislike, you’re pushing him off of you in the next moment, detaching yourself from him as you stand up from the couch.

He watches your figure disappear from the room, and he takes this time to dispose of the condom, slipping his pants back on. You come back a few minutes later with a men’s button up shirt covering your figure. His eyes narrow as he doesn’t recognize the shirt as being one of his own.

“Who’s shirt is that?” He asks, eyes never leaving your figure as you move around the room.

“Jin’s,” you shrug, as if it means nothing.

“Jin’s?” He repeats, almost offended that you would wear any one else’s shirt but his.

“Yeah,” you look at him over your shoulder.

“Why?” He finds himself asking before he can stop himself.

“Why not? He stayed over the other night and left it here,” you say. “It’s not like we’re exclusive anyways.”

Again, the way your tone sounds, so nonchalant, makes Yoongi clench his fists at his sides.

“What if we were?” His words nearly have you choking on air.

“Excuse me?” You stare at him in disbelief.

“What if we were,” he pauses before saying the next word, as if it’s a word he’s never spoken before, in a language he doesn’t know, “exclusive?”

You snort out a laugh in disbelief, “after all this time, now is when you want to talk about becoming exclusive? Yoongi, you and I both know that’s not possible.”

“And why not?” He frowns, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Yoongi, you’re literally fucking a different girl every night,” you begin, but he cuts you off in the next moment.

“None of them are you,” his words have your breath hitching in your throat. “You’re the only one I come back to, the only one I want to come back to.”

You straighten yourself, shaking your head slightly to clear your thoughts, “you told me yourself you hate the idea of becoming tied down to one person.”

“I don’t hate it if it’s you,” he admits, and he can feel his heart racing in his chest.

He’s telling you things he never thought he would say out loud, let alone admit to himself. For some reason, you’ve snared him with your charms, and he wants more. He’s ready to settle down with you, and for you to become the only woman he’s with. No more games. No more insignificant hook ups. Only you.

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” You laugh, looking at him with slight pity. “What makes you think I would ever want to become exclusive with you?”

Your words have his heart clenching in his chest. He took a risk telling you this, and he’s starting to regret opening up to you like this.

“Yoongi, I’m sorry if you didn’t realize this, but I used you, just as you were using me,” you stare at him, all emotion gone from your face as his jaw clenches. “You mean nothing to me.”

His face remains emotionless as he stares back at you, feeling his heart stop in his chest. He wills for you to start laughing, telling him you’re just joking with him right now, and that you’re only doing this to get a rise out of him. 

He’s hoping for too much.

As the minutes tick on, neither of you two say anything. You stare at him expectantly as he inhales sharply, turning around in the next minute, grabbing his shirt off the floor, and heading out your front door.

He knew he had to get out of there before the tears he’s so desperately keeping at bay spilt over onto his cheeks. He can’t let you see him get emotional, it’s not like him. 

Getting into his car, Yoongi quickly pulls out of your driveway, letting the first of his tears fall down his face. He knows he’s screwed up, and done some pretty shitty things in the past. Hell, he made a shitty decision this morning, but you were the only decision he never regretted making. 

He only regrets not telling you that.

[mellifluoustarot]

J.S. I like labradorite, though I find myself working a lot with amethyst recently. I am a Taurus/Gemini cusp, and am mostly curious if there is anything I'm overlooking or should be made aware of in the near future? Thank you for your time and offer to read. It's always fascinating to see how the cards communicate with others.

Hello, thank you very much for your question! I’ve pulled a card for you, with regards to anything that you should look out for in the months to come:

NINE OF PENTACLES

Wow, what a splendid card. Nine of Pentacles indicates that there will be something to be grateful for in the future—perhaps an accomplishment or an event that will make you feel whole and satisfied. Knowing your fastidious nature in terms of finding the next thing to do, the Nine of Pentacles asks you to  slow down for a bit. You’ve been rushing around, whether you know it or not, and it’s given you less time to appreciate what is happening around you. Look for those moments of satisfaction in the next couple of months. Allow yourself to revel in how good it feels when those moments happen. While you want to keep going forward, there is always time to sit and rest on your laurels for a little while, if at all. Just know that as the Nine of Pentacles detail, part of continuing on the journey is also appreciating and not taking for granted the beauty in one’s life, even if things are profoundly busy. You are blessed, and the universe wants you to enjoy the fruits of your self-sufficiency and labor, dear. Savor those little treasures.

Please leave feedback for your reading either by sending a message via the ask box, or reblogging or replying to this post, as I would love to know if this reading resonated with you at all.

As always, if you feel inclined, tips are greatly appreciated! :D

Readings are currently open!

For more readings like the one above, please check out Rules, Services and FAQ before asking your question. Many thanks!

[goldeagleprice]

Letters to the Editor (May 07, 2019)

Moon Landing set thanks

Thank you for taking a look at the Moon Landing Coin & Stamp Commemoratives set I sent you. I figure there must be somebody out there thatknows something about these sets. I enjoy reading your magazine very much. I

pass it on to a friend of mine.

Harold S. Evans Bainbridge, Ind.

  Need more editorial content

I just received my copy of [the April 2] Numismatic News. I am very disappointed! Out of 102 pages, there is one page of news if you include the half page on the American Legion coins.

There are 40 pages of “Coin Market,” which includes collector coin prices that haven’t changed in months, if not years. It includes a half page on “Viewpoint,” a half page on “Coin Clinic,” less than a full page of “Letters,” 2-1/2 pages of “Show Directory,” one 3/4-page article by Ginger Rapsus, and one page on “Item of the Week.” The rest of your magazine is all ads! I even miss Dave Harper’s editorials. I think you should change the name of your magazine to Numismatic Ads.

I know that there is a cost to everything, but with all the ads, your magazine should be free. I hope to see a change before I renew my subscription.

P.S. Your e-mail doesn’t work!

Curt Rossow Willow River, Minn.

Editor’s Note: Thank you for the feedback, Curt. We are always happy to hear from our readers, no matter the subject of the letter.  The issue you noted, from April 2, was indeed a full issue ain in publishing it’s sometimes a puzzle to make everything fit in the pages we are allotted. We hope you are enjoying this month’s big issue and find the editorial coverage satisfactory. We are unsure which email address you had trouble with, but feel free to contact us at numismatics@fwmedia.com

  Gold Ore

On March 3, 1849, Congress authorized the Philadelphia Mint to make two new gold coins as a result of the California gold strike. They were the $1 and the $20 coins. In 1848, California shipped $500,000 in gold to the Philadelphia Mint. In 1949 it shipped $10,000,000 in gold. And over the next three years it shpped another $198,000,000 to the Philadelphia Mint. Why does it seem so difficult for the coin hobby to accept that the $1 and $20 gold coins made in the years from 1849 to 1852 were done so using gold ore from California?

Grady Smith Granbury, Tx.

  1982 D 3.1 penny

Hi, I was just reading about these pennies and my wife thinks she has one but I think it’s a large date. If I send you a picture can you verify it for me. Thanks

Name and address withheld

Editor’s note: Photographs can be hard to determine authenticity. We recommend you take the pennies to a local dealer for verification.

  Apollo 5oz Coin

The Mint does it again! The Apollo 5 oz. coin is not available till oct.25th but yet I ordered on first day within 10 minutes of sale and it is back-ordered but HSN has theirs and already graded, this is impossible unless they got theirs before sale!!!!! I am going to cancel all my orders I have with mint, they forget we are the public and they work for us, or so I think? I will never cancel my subscription with Numismatic News because you have a GREAT informative publication. as always

Daniel Kuziela Chicago, Ill.

  New to coin collecting

Hello. Im fairly new to the coin collecting hobby and I stumbled across your email where it was encouraged to send photos of possible new error and doubling photos to. I’m not for certain but hopefully you can solidify something good with the photos I was able to take with my phone and jewellers loop. They probably aren’t the best but it’s the best I could do with what I have. Please any info would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Name and address withheld

Editor’s note: From your photograph, nothing unusual beyond normal wear to the dies and damage to the coin after being struck is visible.We do recommend, though, stopping in to your local coin dealer if you have any more questions.

  Thanks for your many years of service

Hi Dave,

I read in the February 26 Numismatic News of your retirement as editor of that publication. Thank you for your many years of excellent stewardship of a publication which has long been an absolutely essential feature of my numismatic hobby. Wishing you a happy retirement.

David Stone Junction,N.J.

  Dealers in Wisconsin

Recently after the death of my mother  we found in her closet coins that my dad collected over the years.  The coins are all circulated.  There are a few $1 coins from the 1880’s but most are coins from the 1900’s.  When I searched the internet to see how to find a coin dealer an article said we should find a dealer that belonged to the PNG.  But when I searched their site there didn’t appear to be any in Wisconsin?   I guess I’m looking for guidance or a recommendation of a coin dealer that we may approach to value what we have.  The face value of the coins is approximately $1000.00.

Name and address withheld

Editor’s Note: We were able to find a few listings on the PNG website in Wisconsin. Our own dealer directory at www.numismaticnews.net also lists three dealers within the state of Wisconsin that you may want to reach out to.

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The post Letters to the Editor (May 07, 2019) appeared first on Numismatic News.

[mellifluoustarot]

1. SAW (initials) 2. Obsidian is my favorite crystal. (3) Astrological sign is Cancer and my query is.. I'm feeling frustrated and confused about a lot of things romantically and was wondering if I should trust my intuition or exercise caution or a mixture of both. I just feel a lot of difficult emotions and it feels like a rollercoaster, would like some insight. (5) Yes I promise to provide detailed feedback!

Hello dear SAW, thanks for your question! This was a busy week, and while I finished earlier submissions from the free reading deadline, I’ve finally had a chance to get to yours, so I hope that this doesn’t come too late!

I’ve pulled a card for you with regards to your frustration and confusion, and possible guidance regarding romance:

THE EMPRESS, Rx

The Empress is a card of nurturing, abundance, and generosity—and represents self-love that can be transmitted gently to those around you. However, this energy within your circumstance has been blocked in some way, probably due to your over-investment in your surrounding environment regarding love. Your inner strength, tenacity, and sense of fulfillment that you have within you naturally has been overshadowed by a preoccupation with considering others’ opinions and reactions over your own perspective. This suggests that you have been looking for support outwards in love, rather than sustaining it within yourself, my dear. Relationships do not have to be the end-all be-all, nor should they dictate the way that you should come to view yourself or feel, but are simply the rays that come off the sun that is you. You yourself are self-sustaining—and relationships with others simply amplify that brilliance, along with the brilliance of your significant other. However, if at any time at all you may feel unhappy or frustrated, you should look within yourself for the answer. If it happens to be that you are unhappy because the one you love is unhappy, then try to decontextualize the situation and study it more critically to see if  there is something that you can do for yourself to heal. Everyone is in charge of their own emotions and the way they feel—same to you, no less. Unearth the goddess that is buried within and allow yourself to celebrate her. This may allow you to not only find some footing to clear up the uncertainty you’ve been feeling, but also allows you to gain a deeper sense of intuitive guidance and caution that the card suggests you to use.

Please leave feedback for your reading either by sending a message via the ask box, or reblogging or replying to this post, as I would love to know if this reading resonated with you at all.

As always, if you feel inclined, tips are greatly appreciated! :D

Paid readings are currently open!

For more readings like the one above, please check out Rules, Services and FAQ before asking your question. Many thanks!

[mellifluoustarot]

Hello. Could I ask for a free reading? My name is Aga, my favourite stone is a tourmaline and I am a Taurus. I'd like to know how my career life is going to look like during the nearest few years. Thank you very much in advance

Cześć Aga, thank you very much for your question! :) I’ve pulled a card for you, with regards to your career in the next few years:

TWO OF CHALICES

An interesting and lovely card, but not without gentle warning. The Two of Chalices suggests a partnership of sorts, or perhaps attraction towards a particular job position or field that you will really love or would definitely hope pursue. The most important thing is to not just be aware of your interests and to act upon them with enthusiasm, but to also look out for other opportunities that may come your way. As Two of Chalices is a card of happiness and partnership, this card encourages you to pursue your passions with your best effort, but also warns against single-mindedly going after a one particular thing so intensely, that you overlook other career options that are just as beneficial and enjoyable. Look out for other positions, and remain flexible in your approach via your career. Be entrepreneurial in your mindset, and imagine other jobs or fields that can very well benefit from your abilities. You have within you the makings of success. There’s just a need for you to realize that there are more options out there than the ones presented to you immediately.

Please leave feedback for your reading either by sending a message via the ask box, or reblogging or replying to this post, as I would love to know if this reading resonated with you at all.

As always, if you feel inclined, tips are greatly appreciated! :D

Readings are currently open!

For more readings like the one above, please check out Rules, Services and FAQ before asking your question. Many thanks!

[mellifluoustarot]

Hi ! I'm Noemie S., my sun sign is Aries, my favorites are lepidolite, fragonia E.O., and passiflora. I have some new projects about my true passions I want to concretise and I want to know if I'm ready enough. Thank you :) I will be pleased to get you a feedback afterwards !

Hello dear Noemie, thanks for your question! I’ve pulled a card for you regarding your readiness to pursue your projects:

XXI. THE WORLD

What good fortune—a strong message for you is in store! When I pulled this card for you, this indicated more than enough self assurance that you will be able to achieve all of the projects that you hope to pursue. The World is yours, my dear. While it indicates a sense of fulfillment or completion, the world also shows a flurry of possibilities, opportunities and perhaps a busy time that will come your way—an amalgamation of everything that you hope to achieve, which may seem exciting, but also terribly daunting. If anything, I think right now, you may be entering this burgeoning phase with a sharp mind at how much there needs to be done. However, that does not need to be the case. You are already mindful enough to know what you may need to achieve, and the only thing to do now is to simply take it one step at a time while you work through your projects. Luxuriate and appreciate that you are now achieving what you want to achieve, since there will be completion and fulfillment in store for you. While you may still have misgivings about your preparation, on a deeper level, you have already been priming yourself to act. Simply go, and do it with an open and excited heart. After all, the cycle of the Major Arcana begins again, with 0. The Fool. You just need to take that jump to start.

Please leave feedback for your reading either by sending a message via the ask box, or reblogging or replying to this post, as I would love to know if this reading resonated with you at all.

As always, if you feel inclined, tips are greatly appreciated! :D

Paid readings are currently open!

For more readings like the one above, please check out Rules, Services and FAQ before asking your question. Many thanks!

[mellifluoustarot]

Hi there, I love the notion of your services (and your aesthetic is pretty). I'd like a free simple reading if it's alright, my initials are NEN, my favorite flowers are bluebells, and my sun sign is Virgo. My question is this-- does 2018 look like a positive year for me?

Hello, thank you very much for your question, dear! Also, I’m so glad that you like my services and aesthetic, and that I hope that you’d want to come back for more readings!

I’ve pulled a card for you, with regards to what 2018 may have in store for you:

VIII. STRENGTH

Goodness. What a brilliant card. Vitality, meeting challenges, prevailing and ultimately succeeding and becoming a better person from it all—this is what 2018 has in store for you. Simply put, this year will be a positive one for you personally, no doubt, but not without its challenges. Be prepared to rely on your inner strength and awareness to tackle whatever you will encounter during the year. There is a lot that you will have to accomplish, but at the end of it all, I can truly say that you will come out of this year feeling accomplished and with no regrets in terms of your personal development. The Strength card, while active and seemingly confrontational in nature, is also a gentle card, that calls for self-love and care. This is your year, and it will be spent focusing on growing internally as an individual. Allow for it to be restorative and mindful to ensure that you will reap the positivity 2018 has to offer you, dear. The potential for self-care and love that 2018 has to offer you will amplify itself tenfold as long as you remain conscious of it—just never forget the capacity you have for inner Strength.

Please leave feedback for your reading either by sending a message via the ask box, or reblogging or replying to this post, as I would love to know if this reading resonated with you at all.

As always, if you feel inclined, tips are greatly appreciated! :D

Readings are currently open!

For more readings like the one above, please check out Rules, Services and FAQ before asking your question. Many thanks!

[mellifluoustarot]

Hello! Thank you for your generosity and kindness with readings! Gina, orchids, Aquarius. I would love and appreciate some guidance about a new career opportunity and wether or not to take it. Thank you!

Hello Gina, thank you very much for your question! Also, wonderful flower—I absolutely adore orchids, and they are one of my favorites as well! I’ve pulled a card for you, with regards to some guidance about your career opportunity:

IV. THE EMPEROR

Wow. Quite a powerful, authoritative card here—one of solidity, establishment and security! Because of this, The Emperor inquires whether you are looking for stability and structure in the career opportunity you mentioned in your question, and asks you to assess those particular qualities in making your choice to accept the decision or not. Will the job provide for you well in the long-term? Would taking the job/pursuing this career path make you feel stable, safe, and accomplished financially? The Emperor advocates for plans that offer this type of security, and calls for investment and longevity. As long as you can see yourself being happy and established in this position for a long while, and is there room for growth, The Emperor encourages you. While you may still be unsure of your decision now, maybe widening your scope of perspective will allow you a more visionary understanding of what this position may have to offer you. In terms of it all, The Emperor is asking for pragmatism in your decision making. Be sure-footed in your choices, and look for long-term objectives to point you in the right direction, and hopefully, the answer will come to you sooner than expected.

Please leave feedback for your reading either by sending a message via the ask box, or reblogging or replying to this post, as I would love to know if this reading resonated with you at all.

As always, if you feel inclined, tips are greatly appreciated! :D

Readings are currently open!

For more readings like the one above, please check out Rules, Services and FAQ before asking your question. Many thanks!

[mellifluoustarot]

Hello hello! My name is Raven, my favorite crystal is rose quartz, I'm an Aquarius sun and my question is "What should I do to ensure my plans for April go smoothly?" Thank you! I'll be sure to leave detailed feedback!

Hello dear Raven, thanks for your question! I’ve pulled a card for you with regards to your April plans:

XIV. TEMPERANCE, Rx

Oh my. Fascinating that this card is upside down—Temperance has to do with balance, navigating moderation and creating harmony for oneself—however, something tells me that you have been struggling with some sort of imbalance in your life whether it is in school and work, and in maintaining some sense of personal security and wellbeing for yourself. April plans call for a bit of “Spring cleaning” on your part, both internally and externally, in the sense that in order to feel like you will be able to achieve something, you have to take care of yourself first and work from the inside-out. Make sure to create balance from within by setting parameters for yourself. Like a stream, the road to Temperance follows a path, and you must allow your energy to find its course so you can apply it meaningfully and properly towards your plans in April. Do not be afraid, for this is a process that will only work with forgiveness and continual gentleness towards self. Also, if anything, and if you feel like there is still a sense of extremes, riding the wave would be the answer. Go with the flow—and find balance as you surf the chaos. I’ll be rooting for you, dear one.

Please leave feedback for your reading either by sending a message via the ask box, or reblogging or replying to this post, as I would love to know if this reading resonated with you at all.

As always, if you feel inclined, tips are greatly appreciated! :D

Paid readings are currently open!

For more readings like the one above, please check out Rules, Services and FAQ before asking your question. Many thanks!