#ALSO also that longest tag is simply not mine. i did not say that

[4thbrighteststar]

I posted 2,987 times in 2022

That's 1,512 more posts than 2021!

158 posts created (5%)

2,829 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pearlcaddy

@chamaleonsoul

@daydadahlias

@calumthoodshands

@calumsash

I tagged 2,844 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#luke hemmings - 512 posts

#tmh tour - 338 posts

#calum hood - 190 posts

#ashton irwin - 164 posts

#he smiley :) - 146 posts

#cake - 119 posts

#jatp - 118 posts

#michael clifford - 113 posts

#moodboard - 98 posts

#hnhnnhhhgnh - 93 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#not me trying to clown over vest pics & then shrieking at my ig notif 'why would lukehemmings just make a post' 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the making of killer queen video drives me insane

20 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#4

I could never bring you peace (on my way to wonderland)

Ashton leans back to try to catch his eyes. “Luke, we’re going to be at the studio all day. 5SOS5 is going to be fine without you losing sleep over it.”

Luke sighs and finally meets his gaze. “It’s not for 5SOS5,” he admits.

“Well, if it’s even less urgent-”

“It’s for my own album.”

For a split second, Ashton just gapes.

___

Luke writing wfttwtaf - with the blanket forts, without the important stuff. Okay, a little bit of important stuff.

pairing: lashton

word count: 2929

rating: t (for swearing)

ao3 link

for amanda @lifewasradical <3

21 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#3

23 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#2

Here's a full length version of the new song, and an audio file you can (hopefully??) download to listen to it! The recording is not mine, so kudos and credits and all that to the person who did record it (and then uploaded to their own youtube account).

24 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Wait wait wait y'all gave me an idea what's your favourite song right now and what does it taste like

174 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thefallennightmare]

Mercy-Four

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Fallen Angel!OC

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, smut, mythological talk, violence.

Summary: "Blinded by a fear of feeling, these are the kings we chose. Lost and looking for the meaning, I've been searching high and low" It came crashing down on him. This is the story of the highest banished angel from where she came only to find home in the arms of a mortal man. This mortal realizing he'd face Lucifer himself to keep her.

Lethia: Archangelus Oneironaut also known as Archangel of Dream Walking. Across worlds and dimensions, she walks within. Uncovering dangerous secrets, leaving her cast out, isolated- that is until she begins to learn what it means to feel.

Authors Notes: So I pulled a lot of ideas from my favorite fallen angel romance series, Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick! I hope you all enjoy!

Tags[OPEN]: @thescarlettvvitch @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @cookiesupplier @lyschko666 @shilohrosechicken @thebadchic @iknownothingpeople @sammyjoeee @malice-ov-mercy @collapsedglasshouses @klutzy-kay24 @iamamatus @lma1986 @bngurngheart @happi-goth

LETHIA

I sat in the middle of Noah’s bed with my knees pulled to my chest and rested my chin on top of them. My mind continued to replay the conversation with Maraxa and her parting words had been etched deep within my soul. I feared that maybe I brought darkness and death to not only Noah but all of his friends' lives. They were innocent bystanders in the battle for my alliance. Stay on this Earth with mortals or fall into the depths of Hell with the light bringer. 

Lucifer. He wanted me alongside him to lead his army of darkness. Against what? I wasn’t sure. But the love we shared wasn’t what it used to be and my heart didn't covet for him any longer. Not when there was someone else who seemed to have filtered into this newfound life without warning. 

Those almond eyes captivated me from the moment I had Noah pinned against the door. His scent was different from most mortals and for the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why. The way we always seemed to run into each other or that anytime I dream walked, it was his dream.  

Why was it Noah’s face I saw moments before my fall? 

Why did we have the same tattoo? His on his neck, mine on my ribs? 

None of this made any sense and it only angered me more as to why I was stuck here. 

As I was staring at the length of my black nails, there was a gentle knock on the door of the bedroom; me humming in response to it. When it opened slightly, Noah poked his head in, the long strands of his hair falling into his face. 

“Hey,” his voice was gentle. “I’m just checking to see if you’re settling in fine.” 

“Yes,” I nodded. “I’m sorry for having Maraxa show up here. I assure you, it won’t happen again.”

You don’t know that. 

Noah leaned against the wall next to the door, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s alright. Is she an old friend?” 

I scoffed while laying my legs straight on the bed to lean my back against the wall. 

“She is far from a friend. More like an acquaintance that always wanted my position.” 

If he could hear the venom in my voice, Noah said nothing and simply nodded. 

“Are you hungry?” He asked instead. 

“I’m fine, thank you,” I ran a hand over the black comforter. “I must say, I do feel terrible making you sleep on the couch when your bed is quite comfortable.” 

“Seriously?” Noah chuckled while walking farther into the room to sit on the bed next to me. “I’ve had this mattress for years and it's anything but comfortable.” 

An eerie silence fell between us, something that made me shift in my spot next to him when the warmth from him radiated around me in flames. I could feel his essence all over my skin while not feeling his actual touch. Bumps rose at the back of my neck when I felt his gaze linger there, lighting me a blaze. 

My eyes caught sight of something hanging from above his window so I pointed to it. 

“Are you religious? The rosary?”

Noah peered up at the wooden necklace hanging from his curtain rod. “Oh, that. It’s kind of a long story.” 

Crossing my legs, I rested my elbow on my thigh to rest my chin in my hand. “And I have time. I’d love to know your view on it.” 

With a tender laugh, he nodded before turning toward me so we sat facing each other. “Well, I was raised in a very Christian Baptist household with my grandparents; when I wasn’t staying with my mom. That's another story but it’s not important.” 

Immediately I picked up on the way his eyes cast down at his hands at the mention of his mother but made no effort to acknowledge it. Instead, I urged him to continue with a nod. 

“I’d go to service with my grandparents and help out in the church any way I could. Painting, setting up for service, things like that. I was exposed to a lot of religion growing even though when I was younger I didn’t buy into it as much. Despite having a lot of questions and doubts about it now, I still think there’s a lot to learn about it through religion, spirituality, and faith. Which is why I write about it metaphorically.” 

He ran a hand over his chin for a moment. “I never try to push my own beliefs or agendas on people. I want people to think and believe in things on their own, without having my choice influence them in any way.” 

“I think that’s marvelous,” I hummed. 

Noah smiled. “The whole lore and stories in religion really interest me. I’m currently reading a book about The Fall.”

My mouth ran dry when my body went rigid. “Th-the Fall?” 

“Yeah, fallen angels. It’s actually quite interesting.” 

I ran my hands over my thigh and cleared my throat. “Do you believe in them?” 

“Angels?” Noah asked with furrowed brows. 

All I could do was nod, afraid that my voice would give way to how nervous I was for his answer. 

He ran a hand over his mouth, almost deep in thought. “It’s hard to give a definitive answer because I haven’t seen proof of angels. I thought that angels didn’t exist at first but something changed my view on it. My grandma told me a story about fallen angels when I was younger. What about you? Do you believe it?” 

“You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen,” the tone of my voice dropped drastically as my fingers brushed along the softness of the comforter beneath me. 

Flash images of what I’d done under the King’s command plagued me. Death by my sword was ordered to anyone who disobeyed him. Which rarely happened but when it did, I was the one that dealt with the end of the traitor's life. The familiar feeling of ripping out their wings weighed heavy on my hands as I stared down at them with sheer disgust. 

How could the creator who was supposed to love all of us equally order me to do such vile, horrendous, things to his creations? 

“Lethia,” the softness of his large hands rested on my shoulder, fresh off a kill. “You’ve done well my child. Your allegiance is greatly thought of.”  

My jaw clenched at how foolish I’d been. Following a King who cared so little for us in the end. The amount of wings I ripped out was too much to count. The amount of angels I dragged my blade into cut deep into my gut, causing me to revolt in disgust. 

At myself. 

Since I fell weeks ago, I questioned so deeply why my appearance changed and I always thought it was because of my love for Lucifer. But it could be to pay for all of my heinous crimes up in the Kingdom. Crimes ordered by Him. 

“Hey,” Noah’s tattooed knuckle lifted my chin. “Are you alright?” 

I nearly sobbed when yet again I couldn’t feel his touch; another repercussion. 

“No,” I choked out. “I did horrible things back home and how could I ever be allowed back? Why would he want me back?” 

The screams of my victims were loud in my mind, their bloody wings lying at my feet, and I squeezed my eyes shut at the vision. 

“You don’t have to go back there. You can stay here with me. Whatever you did can’t be that terrible,” his voice cooed in the silence of his bedroom. 

The words died on my tongue, it not being worth it to explain myself to him because Noah wouldn’t understand. 

My heart's racing faltered for the briefest of moments, only for it to double in pace when Noah’s eyes studied me, assessing every inch of my face. I tracked every movement of his tongue when it darted out to wet his pink lips. 

“Lethia.” 

My name was all but a hushed whisper that hung on his bottom lip and when our eyes met, some kind of light danced behind his. I raised my fingers to his mouth to drag the nail of my pointer finger along that bottom lip. Noah’s breath hitched in his throat but remained still as I glanced up at him, dying to know what it would feel like. Facial hair peppered his chin and above his mouth, and I couldn’t help but smile at how good he looked. 

There was no way he wasn't like me. Noah was too eternal, the aura that radiated around him shone bright and pulled me in every time he was around. 

The long locks of his hair fell into his face when he tilted his head towards me, closing the distance slightly. The divine scent of him filled my senses and I let my eyes flutter shut to pick apart each of the different smells. Noah smelled woodsy with a hint of Bergamot and Nutmeg. It smelled like his bedroom. It smelled like him. 

“Noah,” I breathed, now dragging my nails over the tattoo on his neck. 

I couldn't feel his touch but I did notice my hair being brushed away from my face. 

“I can’t explain it,” Noah swallowed. “But I feel this strong connection to you.” 

All of my actions were unknown to me, along with this feeling in my chest that burned with such a good ache. Noah silenced all of the voices in my mind, easing away the guilt and hurt that weighed heavily on my heart for my actions in the Kingdom. I was resistant at first with him but I think it was only because this feeling deep inside of me scared me to the ends of the earth. 

“Me as well,” I admitted quietly. 

My hands rested in my lap now, shaking with nerves, wondering what Noah was going to do. We were so close now, with almost no space between our lips, and before my brain could catch up on what was happening a sudden surge of warmth exploded inside of me before seeping into my veins. My skin pricked with electricity when Noah’s hand glided through my hair and it was then that I noticed his eyes were closed but his lips were on mine. 

He was kissing me? 

Fuck. 

I nearly cried and cursed the King for bestowing me with this curse of not being able to feel human touch. All I wanted was to feel Noah’s lips on mine, taste him, devour him. Although I couldn’t feel him, the feeling that was coming alive inside of me was almost too much to handle and I let a quiet moan be swallowed by Noah, who hummed in delight. 

It felt like fireworks being shot off inside of me. It felt like that first flight I took when I realized my wings kept me upright. It felt like the wind blew through my hair and the softness of the clouds encased me just as Noah’s arm did. 

Something spread my lips apart and now all I could feel was the sudden wetness in my mouth and between my legs. I clenched them together while grasping at Noah’s shirt, trying to feel anything. 

He pulled away to glance down at me, briefly searching my eyes for any emotion I couldn’t give off in the kiss we just shared. 

“I mean this with genuine curiosity but have you never been kissed before?” Noah wondered while his hand cupped my cheek. 

I shifted on his bed and kept my gaze cast down on my lap. While I lay with other angels up in the Kingdom, we’d never kissed; Noah was my first kiss, ever. 

“Lethia?” 

“I-,” my shoulders slumped. “No. Was I that bad?” 

Now while I couldn’t feel his touch, that didn’t stop me from meeting his kiss with the same amount of gentle caress that he led with. 

A low noise rumbled in Noah’s chest. “Not at all. I’d actually like to kiss you again if that’s alright?” 

Unbridled heat expanded deep within me as I nodded quickly and then his lips were on mine again. I let the passion in my heart guide my lips, doing my best to mimic Noah’s actions, and he let out a moan when I climbed into his lap to run my hands through the waves of his tawny hair. Even if I couldn’t feel any part of this physically, I could feel it in my heart, and to me, that’s all that mattered. 

“Lethia,” Noah groaned when I pressed my hips into his. 

Something in my heart told me that he was brushing his tongue along the side of my neck before his teeth grazed over in its path. That same feeling told me that Noah’s hands were sprawled over my lower back before slipping underneath my shirt to claw at my skin, digging his nails in. 

My spine tingled with fire, starting from the base and shooting straight up into my neck before spreading through my entire angel essence. My head fell back as my jaw went slack when the familiar feeling of ecstasy crept its way into me.

Only this wasn’t the kind of ecstasy brought on by a man's kiss or touch.

No. 

The skin on my shoulder blades began to peel away an opening for my wings to protrude from and with a gasp of fear, I scrambled away from Noah and nearly stumbled over my feet as I stood in front of him. He lay back on his elbows, hair a mess from my fingers running through it, and lips were swollen from our kiss. The rise and fall of his chest was uneven as he tried to catch his breath. I dared a glance lower and sucked in a breath when I noticed how hard his cock was in his gray sweats. 

“Hey, are you alright? Did I do something?” Noah asked while rising to his feet and taking a step towards me. 

I took a step back. “No, you didn’t do anything. I-I can’t explain it but-.” 

How could I explain it? 

Oh hey, Noah. I was getting so turned on by our kiss that my wings almost came out.

Yeah right. 

I dragged my hands through my hair and let out an aggravated groan to which Noah gently grasped my wrists and held them against his chest. My gaze bounced back and forth between his eyes, my erratic heartbeat calming. 

“If I went too far, I apologize,” he said. 

“No,” I hastily shook my head. “You didn’t do anything. I just needed a moment to clear my head, that's all.”  

He hummed. “I know the perfect thing to help with that.” 

Before dropping my hands, he left a gentle kiss on them, and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread to my lips as I watched him gather the extra clothes on his desk and towels.

“A shower always helps me clear my head,” Noah said while leading me out of his bedroom. 

“A shower?” I asked, slowly treading behind him. 

“Yeah,” he nodded as we stepped inside the bathroom. “Hot Water. Soap. Shampoo.”

“Naked. I know the drill,” I crossed my arms over my chest with a raised brow. “Are you trying to get me naked, Noah?” 

Nervously he rubbed the back of his neck and a red tint painted over his cheeks. “N-no. I just want to help you.” 

I took the things in his hands with a nod of thanks. “You’ve already done enough for me. Giving me a place to stay.” 

The space between us was small in his bathroom due to his tall stature and he gazed down at me with a slight up curl of his lips as he stuffed his hands in his pocket. 

“I help the people I care about.” 

I cocked my head at him. “You care about me?” 

This word, care, was foreign to me; unheard of in the Kingdom. So to hear Noah utter it made a weird feeling stir inside of me. 

“I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t,” Noah’s voice was low as he took a small step towards me. 

However, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I nearly dropped the clothes and towels. I always tried to avoid looking at myself because of how evil I looked. My red eyes matched the red lights from under Noah’s bed and my short onyx hair barely reached my shoulders. Thankfully my jacket and jeans covered the tattoos that were drawn on my skin; etched in deep with my transgressions. 

I despised how I looked now. Revolted in the darkness that I become. 

“I never used to look like this,” I admitted with a long sigh, letting the things in my hands fall to the bathroom counter. 

Noah stepped behind me to stare at my reflection in the mirror. “Really?” 

“This look?” I pointed to my reflection. “It’s a telling of everything wrong I’ve done. I can’t even look at myself without disgust.” 

His face fell at my words and he rested his hands on my shoulders. “Lethia, that’s the farthest thing from the truth. You look beautiful.” 

That was another word I hadn’t heard before. 

“Beautiful?” I raised a brow, staring at his reflection still. 

Noah rested his chin on top of my head and I couldn’t help but giggle at the size difference between us. I wasn’t exactly short but with Noah’s length, he easily towered over me so to rest his chin on my head he had to bend down a bit, encasing his arms on either side of me to grip the bathroom counter. 

My eyes raked over the tattoos that covered the entirety of his arms, various designs and colors. 

“Well for starters, the length of your hair suits your face structure and the color compliments your olive skin tone,” he left a kiss on the side of my head. 

“I used to have long, almost white hair,” I said. 

“Oh,” his face scrunched up. 

“You don’t like it?” I teased with a chuckle. 

Noah shrugged. “You look beautiful either way but like I said this look suits you better.” 

His hands grabbed the collar of my jacket to slowly pull it down my arms, letting it fall to the floor at our feet. I now stood in front of him in my jeans and white shirt, arms exposed to show the darkness of the tattoos that covered them. 

“Your tattoos are made for you,” he breathed in my ear, fingers trailing up the skin of my arms. 

Our eyes locked in the mirror, the deep crimson of mine paled in contrast to his bright almond ones; however this time when I looked into them, they weren’t cold and vacant. Not like I’d see in my dreams. 

“Your eyes,” Noah breathed. “I think your eyes are one of my favorite things about you.” 

He brushed away the hair from my neck so he could press kisses along the skin there. I watched in the mirror as his teeth grazed over the shell of my ear before sinking deep into the crook of my neck. Straight heat shot through me again and I let myself fall into his embrace with a sigh that sounded more like a moan. 

“I’m afraid,” my bottom lip trembled as I cast my eyes down from his. 

Noah turned me in his arms so I had no choice but to look up at him. His eyes were filled with worry as they searched every inch of my face. I grasped at the front of his shirt, fingers trying desperately to feel the material. 

“Afraid of what? This?” He pointed between us. 

“No,” I shook my head and then let out a shaky breath. “I am terrified by this dark thing that sleeps in me.” 

Noah’s hands were on both sides of my face because he held me firm. Then when the light sparked inside of me, I knew that he crashed his lips on mine, tongue slipping inside of my mouth. Although I couldn’t feel his touch, the feeling I had deep inside of me was telling me everything he was doing. 

One hand cupped my cheek while the other slipped inside my shirt, grasping at the skin of my lower back. His lips and tongue explored every inch of my mouth, dragging his teeth along my jawline and neck as he went back to leaving small marks along my collarbone. 

His name came out just below a whisper when he lifted me onto the bathroom counter, digging his nails into the thick material of my jeans to spread my legs open for him. Noah stepped between them as I brought our lips together again in another fiery kiss, needing to bring Noah even closer to me by any means. 

“Lethia,” he murmured against my mouth. “I need-.” 

Just as the skin on my shoulders began peeling away, someone walked into the bathroom, causing Noah to jump away from me slightly. Glancing at the now open door, I noticed his roommate Jesse’s eyes bouncing between Noah and me. 

“Shit, I should have knocked,” he muttered while rubbing his face. “I just saw the door was cracked open and didn’t think.” 

I wiped away the saliva from my lips and turned my head away from the two men, feeling this unusual burn on my cheeks. 

“It’s alright,” Noah ran a hand through his hair, still keeping a wide distance between us. “I was just letting Lethia take a shower.” 

Jesse nodded. “Yeah sure, no problem. I’ll just use the bathroom downstairs.” 

When it was just Noah and me yet again, I peered over to him who was leaning against the wall with a wicked smirk. 

“What?” I asked with a slight up curl on my lips. 

He said nothing, only adjusting himself. I dared a glance downward and sucked in a breath when I noticed his cock pressing hard against the front of his sweats. All the warmth in my body shot down to my core and I squeezed my thighs together, hoping it would curb the itch.

How did this mortal seem to set all of my senses ablaze like this? 

“I’ll give you some privacy,” Noah motioned to the shower. 

As he began walking out of the bathroom, I dared a glance at the shower but tilted my head in confusion. 

“Wait,” I spoke while reaching for his wrist, my black nails grazing his skin. 

Both of us reacted with such a shock, nearly making me rear back in surprise. Noah’s eyes bounced from my hold on him to my face; a spark of something behind them. 

“How do I turn it on?” 

“The shower?” His brows creased. 

All I did was nod, some things on this planet still confused me but I didn’t want to tell him that. 

With a chuckle, Noah walked over to the shower, sliding the door open then turned the dial left. 

“Left is hot. The right is cold. Adjust how you need to. There’s already some shampoo and body wash in there for you,” he said when he stepped in front of me. 

Steam began to fill the bathroom, dancing above our heads like the clouds in the Kingdom. Reaching up on the tips of my toes, I laid a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

“Thank you, Noah.” 

NOAH

I stifled a yawn behind my hand as I poured myself yet another cup of coffee, stirring the dark liquid as I leaned against the kitchen island. Craning my neck far to the left, I groaned when it popped in a few different places. Sleeping on the couch did a number on my back and neck but I didn’t want to verbalize my discomfort knowing that Lethia was comfortable upstairs in bed. 

Possibly naked, lying in my sheets. 

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I took a large gulp of my coffee, it slightly burning on the way down, when Jesse walked into the kitchen. His eyes raked over my disheveled hair and skewed clothes with a smirk. 

“Rough night?” 

I grumbled in response. 

“I’m sorry about interrupting you and Lethia last night,” Jesse apologized while reaching for a cup in the far right cupboard. 

“It’s alright,” I set my cup on the counter next to me. 

It seemed as if there was something on the tip of his tongue so I urged him to ask his question with a nod. 

“Are you sure you aren’t moving fast with her?” Jesse was hesitant to ask. “You don’t know a lot about Lethia?” 

Even though I was growing tired of the same conversation with my friends, I took a deep breath to ease away the annoyance. I knew they were only coming from a place of love. 

“It’s hard to explain,” I rubbed a hand up and down my arm. “We feel this strong connection between us and no matter how hard I tried to stay away, it seemed as if something kept pulling us together.” 

Jesse nodded with a faint smile. “She seems like a great girl, Noah. We just don’t want you to fall too deep and end up getting hurt.” 

I reassured him with a pat on his shoulder just as Jolly, Michael, and Orie came bounding into the kitchen, all of them going about to start their typical morning routine. It was a rare Saturday that we all had off so earlier in the week we talked about going for a hike today. 

“Still on for today?” Orie wondered. 

“Yeah,” I answered. 

Jolly took a sip of his coffee. “Did you ask if Lethia wanted to come?” 

My lips parted to speak but there was this tingle at the back of my neck, making the hairs there stand to attention, and when I turned slightly, my heart shuddered in my chest. 

Lethia stood in the middle of the kitchen, rubbing a hand on her elbow. Her hair was a mess from a night of sleep and I could make out the faintest of a few purple marks across her neck. My cock twitched in my sweats when I remembered our kisses from last night. But that’s not what made my heart stop. It was what she was wearing. 

My blue and white star shorts and my Jesus playing basketball with the devil t-shirt. It drowned on her, barely covering the shorts. Not only were her arms covered in tattoos but so were both of her legs, the black designs standing out amongst the sunlight that brushed in through the patio door next to her. Lethia looked absolutely breathtaking. 

Like an angel. 

“Hilarious,” she pulled at the picture of the shirt. 

I smiled. “Did you sleep alright?” 

“You guys were going to ask me something?” 

She averted my question with one of her own and Orie spoke up. 

“We were going for a hike today. Would you like to join?” 

“A hike,” Lethia repeated the words slowly. 

Michael rolled his eyes. “You know, walking up a mountain. Fresh air. Scenery. Exercise.” 

Crimson eyes sliced into him. “I know what a hike is.” 

“Cool, so are you coming with or not?” He crossed his arms. 

“I’m touched you want me to tag along, Michael. I knew you secretly had feelings for me,” Lethia teased with a playful smirk. 

Peering over to Michael, I noticed a red tint covering his cheeks before he hid his face in the fridge, rummaging around for something. 

“So,” I began while closing the distance between Lethia and me. “Do you want to come with us?” 

She peered up at me through dark lashes. “You want to spend time with me?” 

“I think after last night that it’s pretty clear,” I said while taming her sleep-tousled hair. 

Lethia leaned into my touch, her eyes fluttering shut with a peaceful sigh. 

“Okay,” she agreed after a beat of silence. “Give me a few minutes to get dressed.” 

“Take all the time you need,” I said, trailing my fingers down the side of her neck. 

Lethia slipped away from me and trotted back upstairs to get ready and when I turned around, I ignored the looks from Michael, Orie, and Jolly. Instead, I walked into the living room while hearing Jesse fill them in on what happened last night. 

“You kissed her?” Michael asked as he followed me into the living room. 

Slipping my black jacket over my hoodie, I shrugged. “It sort of happened. We were in my room talking and I asked if I could.” 

He hesitated and I knew, like Jesse, he had some reservations. 

“Look, I appreciate you guys looking out for me, I do. But if I didn’t trust Lethia, she wouldn’t be here. So can we please make her feel welcome?” 

I directed the question towards Michael, who raised his hands. “I didn’t start it.” 

“I think the reason why you two seem to butt heads is because she doesn't take your shit,” Jolly chuckled while tying up his hair. 

Michael grumbled under his breath as Lethia came bounding down the steps, yet again taking my breath away. She was dressed in biker shorts, showcasing her long and toned legs, and a black fitted crop top. Her white tennis shoes stood out as she came to a stop when all eyes fell on her. 

“Do I have something stuck to me or something?” She asked, doing a full 360 turn, and I briefly saw a tattoo peaking on her shoulder through the straps of her shirt. 

Some kind of bird. A crow?

“No, you look great,” I smiled. “Ready?” 

“Shit, my jacket. Let me-.” 

Before she could run back upstairs, I handed her an extra sweater of mine I grabbed from the front closet. 

“Your leather jacket is looking a bit worn so here, you can have my sweater for the day,” I said. 

She hesitantly took it, fingering the material of my yellow sweater. “Thank you, Noah.” 

The drive to our usual hiking spot seemed to go by faster than normal as we all piled in Orie’s SUV; he and his dog, Harper, up front; something Michael gave him shit for when he tried to call shotgun. 

Jolly and Michael were in the middle. 

Me, Lethia, and Jesse were in the back seat. 

My knees were brushing with hers, heat spreading throughout my nerve endings and I suddenly wanted to feel all of her all over me. Memories of our kiss last night flashed in my mind when I found myself staring at her lips while she talked with Jesse. 

I remembered how they tasted; like every dark thought I’d ever had. There was something about her that kept calling to me, to a side that I forever repressed. I needed to know more about her and to know who she was running from so I could protect her from them. 

Once we all stumbled out of the car, Lethia bent low to Harper so the dog could sniff her fingers. With a faint smile, she scratched Harper being the ears, something the dog appreciated with a wag of her tail. 

“You’re a beautiful creature,” Lethia mused before rising to her feet. 

With Orie taking the lead, we all followed up the usual path, Lethia slowly trailing behind. I let her take her time alone, figured something was bothering her, but when we made it about halfway up the trail, I finally turned to face her. Her hand was moving in an orbit as she studied the long black nails; sharp as a blade. 

“Come on slowpoke!” I called out to her with a smile after pulling my hood up.

Her eyes barely lifted to mine, something still clouding her mind. 

“What’s going on?” I asked, coming to a stop. 

“Hm?” 

When Lethia finally looked up at me, it was a few seconds too late as she crashed into me, not realizing I stopped walking. My arms wrapped around her to keep us upright while her hands sprawled over my chest. I was still so nervous to have her this close to me that I knew she would be able to tell when she’d feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. 

“What’s going on in here?” I asked again, tapping her forehead. 

She didn’t even flinch. 

“Nothing,” Lethia said. 

I knew she couldn’t see the look I was giving her through my sunglasses so instead, I squeezed her hips; once again not reacting to my touch. 

“I’m fine, Noah,” she reassured me with a gentle caress to my face. “We should move along before the others wonder where we drifted off to.” 

I glanced over my shoulder, noticing that Jolly was at the top of the hill about ten feet ahead of us; stopped and waiting. 

“The first one to Jolly wins,” I said. 

This made her raise a brow. “A race?” 

“Yeah,” I dropped my hands from her waist. “If I win, I get to sleep in my bed with you. The couch isn’t the best place to sleep on my back. If it makes you feel better, we can put a wall of pillows between us.”

“What do I get when I win?” Her hands replaced mine on her hips. 

I snorted. “Someone’s confident.” 

It was her turn to snort. “There’s no way you can beat me. Now, what do I get when I win?” 

“Whatever you want,” I shrugged. 

She tapped a finger to her lip as if she was really thinking about her decision. 

“If I win, I’d like for you to kiss me again.” 

My cock twitched in my joggers while my heart hammered loudly in my ears. 

“Lethia,” my voice dropped. “You don’t have to make a bet for me to kiss you again.” 

Cocking her head to the side, she stood taller to close the distance. I felt the warm breath fan over my bottom lip and I almost captured her tongue with mine when it darted out to wet her lips. 

Suddenly, her laughter erupted through the trees as she took off in a sprint toward Jolly. Chuckling under my breath, I whipped around to begin running after her, amazed at how fast she’d already closed the distance to Jolly. She was less than five feet from him as he watched the two of us with a smile. 

Suddenly, her steps faltered briefly, just enough for me to pass her in such haste that I didn’t see that she stopped running completely. When I reached Jolly, I tapped his shoulder before raising my hands. 

“I win!” 

Lethia slowly caught up to us with a smile painting the features of her face, not even working hard to catch her breath from the race. It was as if she wasn’t even winded. 

“You did, fair and square,” she agreed while tying half of her hair up into a bun. 

Jolly looked from me to Lethia, a knowing look on his face. “Really?” 

My shoulders fell when I saw the look the two of them shared. 

“Wait,” I pointed to her. “Did you let me win?” 

“No,” Lethia dragged out the word and shrugged. “Why would I do that?” 

When she slipped between Jolly and me, she patted my chest and winked. “You better not be a blanket hog, Noah.” 

I watched her walk up to Jesse, the two of them picking up the conversation they had in the car. 

“You know Lethia let you win, right?” 

Jolly’s voice made me snap my gaze over to him. “No, she didn’t.” 

Now it was me that gave that knowing look and I shifted on my feet. 

“Why would she let me win?” I asked. 

“She wanted you to share your bed with her,” Jolly said as if it was obvious. 

I stood there for a long moment after he left to catch up with everyone else, letting his words settle within me. Lethia let me win because she wanted to share my bed. A fire burned in my gut with that knowledge as excitement filled my veins with the thought of going to sleep tonight. 

When I reached the group, they all were standing on a cliff edge staring down at the city of Los Angeles. This was one of my favorite spots because you could see everything up here but hear nothing of the hustle and bustle of the city, only your thoughts. 

I took note of Lethia who was a few feet away from all of us, in her own little bubble, letting the wind blow through her hair and my sweater that was tied around her waist. Her eyes were closed, a look of peaceful bliss on her face almost as if she belonged in the breeze. Her arms were outstretched as she tilted her head back.  “Lethia.” 

One eye cracked open as she looked at me when I snapped a quick picture of her with a smile. 

“I’m glad you invited me with you guys,” she breathed while dropping her arms. 

“Yeah, you’ve been alright company,” Michael admitted with a grumble. 

She came over and ruffled his hair. “You’re not so bad yourself.” 

Hooking an arm around her back, I pulled her into my chest, breathing my question over her lips. “You let me win the race?” 

“Now why would I do that?” Lethia hummed, playing with the strings of my hoodie. 

“That would mean I secretly want to sleep in the same bed with you.” 

Something mischievous sparkled in her crimson eyes as I lowered my head to her, capturing her lips in a soft kiss. Her body relaxed in my embrace, lips molding against my own, while my hands roamed up her back. 

Pulling away, Lethia dragged a finger over my bottom lip. 

“Looks like we both won in the end,” she respired. 

“How sweet.” 

Lethia’s body went stiff in my embrace when she peered over my shoulder toward the unfamiliar voice. Following her gaze, my brows creased when I noticed a man standing a few feet away from our group, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his dark Levis. The top two buttons of his white shirt were undone, showcasing a golden chain. For someone walking outside on a dirt-filled mountain, he looked clean; pristine. Not a single strand of his blonde hair was out of place on top of his head. 

“Uriel,” Lethia forced out through gritted teeth.

“Do you know him?” I asked when I looked back at her.

“Unfortunately,” her jaw ticked, never removing her eyes from the stranger. “He’s an old friend. Give me a few minutes?” 

I swallowed the jealousy burning deep in my gut at the way she said old friend but nodded, letting her slip from my embrace. With the guys flanking in a line a few feet behind her, we watched with careful eyes as she moved out of earshot from us. 

LETHIA  

“How did you find me?” I questioned, the soles of my shoes scraping along the rocks beneath my feet. 

Uriel smiled with his lips but not his eyes. “I must admit, your scent was a bit harder to find now that you mingle among these mortals.” 

“What do you want, Uriel?” My hands shook at my side so I rolled them into fists. 

Bright gold eyes flicked over my shoulder towards the guys before they fell on me. 

“I come with a message from the King.” 

I swallowed thickly, nearly faltering my stone face at the mention of the King, but remained calm. 

“I’m surprised he let you leave his side; you were always the one to be up his ass any chance you could get.” 

Uriel’s eyes sliced into me. “The vulgarity of your speech, Lethia. A few weeks here and you’ve changed; in more ways than one.” 

“What’s this message?” I asked with a sigh, ready to end this surprise meeting. 

“The King is welcoming you back into the Kingdom.” 

My heart stopped in my chest as my jaw dropped. I couldn’t ignore the way relief flooded me for the briefest of moments. 

A way back home? I was allowed to go back home. 

“That seems too good to be true. How can I believe your word?” I asked while crossing my arms over my chest. 

Uriel held out his hands. “I am an archangel, Lethia. We’re known for our word.” 

“When the fuck has your word ever been good enough? I sneered, countless memories of how wrong his word had been in the Kingdom. 

“Do you want to be granted a way back or not?” Uriel clicked his tongue against his teeth. 

“Surely the King has a catch,” I reminded him. “He always did.” 

Uriel pointed to Noah. “Erase that mortal’s memory of you, renounce him and everything you’ve done together. Never look his way again and you have your way back home.” 

My heart fell to the depths of my stomach at this demand. Even though there was a tiny sliver of hope of being granted access back into my home, there was no way I could erase Noah’s memory of me. These feelings we shared were still unknown to me but that didn’t mean I didn’t understand that we were important to each other; the feelings were real. 

“I’m not interested,” I spat while spinning on my heels, ready to walk back over to Noah. 

“He will allow you time to think about it, but not for long,” Uriel spoke. “I suggest you accept because the stench of humans is beginning to rub off on you; especially that mortal.”

Both of us glanced over at Noah who was watching us intently while talking with Jesse. They were still a good distance from us so I knew none of them could hear mine and Uriel's conversation. 

“Hm, he fancies you, Lethia. Tell me, how often do you walk in his dream? Quite often I suppose since he has those vulgar thoughts of you,” Uriel breathed against the back of my neck, fingers grazing over mine. 

My head snapped up to Uriel, creating distance between us by snatching my hand away from him. It was clear that I still was able to feel the touch of fellow angels, just not mortals.  

“You don’t know anything! He’s a good man offering me a place to stay away from Maraxa and Lucifer,” I seethed. 

His eyes darkened, almost as black as my wings. “You must not heed to their demands. If you even think about joining Lucifer's army, any chance of you getting back into the Kingdom will be long forgotten. The King is only allowing you one chance. Erase that mortal mind or stay on this putrid planet and walk among these disgusting creatures.” 

“Trust me, I have zero intention of joining Lucifer. It’s because of him I fell into what I am now. But the thought of joining a Kingdom that banished me also isn’t quite appealing,” I scoffed and walked a few steps away from him when his next words gave me great pause. 

“What if I sweeten the deal?” 

Turning slowly on my feet, I held out a hand. “I doubt it but go ahead.” 

Uriel pursed his lips before running a hand through his already perfect long, golden hair. “It is known that Lucifer is looking to revolt and he’s trying to find other fallen to join his army; for example, you.” 

I shook my head. “I already told you, I have no interest in joining him.” 

“The King can be quite lax with this upcoming war. He thinks he has enough soldiers for it but if I’m being frank, without Oblivion, we have no chance.” 

Every part of my body chilled to the bone as all the breath was snatched from my lungs at hearing that name; I hadn’t heard it in so long. 

“I’m not that person anymore,” I stated. “I haven’t been for a very long time.” 

“If you come back to the Kingdom, you can bring him with you. But still would need to erase his memories of you.” Uriel nodded behind me. 

To Noah. 

“What?” I stood tall. “How would that work? He’s mortal, he wouldn’t survive in the Kingdom. Not to mention, the King would never allow it.” 

That’s when something sparkled in Uriel’s eyes. 

“You two will dethrone the King.” 

I laughed out loud at his words. “Dethrone the King? Show up to the pearly gates so we can spit in his face?” 

“Think about it,” Uriel stepped closer to me, running a hand through my short locks. 

“If you accept to dethrone the King, lead the army in victory against Lucifer, you can bring the mortal with you and rule the Kingdom. However, he would have to be a mere peasant there. He cannot remember who you are. Think of him as a mere pawn for you to play with.” 

I stood frozen under his touch as he twirled a strand of hair around his finger. “I’ll even return you to your old physical state. Which you should be thankful for because this one doesn’t suit you.” 

The promise of not only going back home in my old form but being able to bring Noah with me made something inside of me light with the life I’d been searching for since I fell. But it wouldn’t be easy to bring a mortal into the Kingdom; there was only one way to enter. 

Being an eternal being. 

“I’ll think about it,” I muttered under my breath. 

Uriel smiled as he removed his hand from my hair. “I suggest you do because the longer you try to hide your true form, well I don’t need to remind you of what will happen.” 

No, he didn’t. 

My wings will deteriorate. My powers will weaken. Slowly over time, I will lose myself in my mind. 

With a scowl, I turned my back to him and finally sauntered back over towards Noah, who met me halfway, quick to pull me into his embrace. 

“Everything alright?” He brushed away some stray hairs from my face. 

“I need to get far away from that man,” I begged, parts of me that I didn’t want to remember coming back with force. 

“Did he hurt you?” Noah’s hands were on both sides of my face, almost mute against my skin. “Are you alright?

“Please,” I grasped at his arms, digging into the material of his jacket. “Can we leave? Seeing him brought up far too many memories I’d like to forget”. 

Noah nodded while wrapping an arm around my shoulder to begin leading me back down the hill, Uriel’s voice calling after us. 

“I’ll be seeing you soon, Lethia!”

JOLLY

“This place is called what?” 

Noah chuckled at Lethia’s upturned head at him with furrowed brows. “In-N-Out. They’ve got great burgers here.” 

“Burgers?” She said slowly. 

I watched as Noah explained the menu to her, what’s good and what to stay away from. Revealing that she wasn’t particular to any kind of food, he took it upon himself to order her a cheeseburger, fries, and a large chocolate milkshake. 

“Oh, that milkshake sounds delicious,” Lethia mused with a bright smile.

There was a faint smile on my face as I continued to watch the two of them, Noah sliding his hand on the lower back of Lethia as they waited for their food. She had slipped on his sweater on the way down from the mountain, the sudden change in the wind causing all of us to feel a frigid chill.

After Lethia spoke to that old friend of hers, something shifted with her. Noah could tell instantly because he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, not wanting to let her more than a few inches out of her sight. 

“Something doesn’t feel right about this guy,” Noah muttered to me as we watched Lethia and her friend converse. 

I held him back with a grip on his elbow when he nearly stomped over there seeing Uriel run his hands through Lethia’s hair. 

“Jolly,” he warned through gritted teeth. 

“Just give her some time alone, like she asked. If she’s uncomfortable, she’ll let you know,” I said. 

I could practically see all the worry leave Lethia’s body when Noah’s arms wrapped around her not even a minute later. 

I couldn’t explain it, and frankly, I don’t think Noah could explain either how Lethia entranced him since he found her in our driveway all those weeks ago. He claimed there was this undeniable pull between them and almost as if it was fate that they kept running into each other.

There’d been this light in Noah’s eyes every time he looked at Lethia, shining brighter now knowing and witnessing they kissed. He’d become transfixed ever since that first meeting even when she had her hand wrapped around his throat. We all should have been terrified of the strength she possessed when she tackled Folio to the floor or with how tight her grip was around Noah. But if he didn’t feel harm when he was around her, the least we could do was trust her. 

“What do you think?” Noah asked. 

She nodded with a mouth full of food then once she swallowed, Lethia took a large gulp of her milkshake. “Delicious.” 

While I ate my food, I continued to carefully watch them as the others around me had their own conversations. I didn’t miss the way when Noah muttered something in her ear, Lethia’s cheeks turned a deep crimson, like her eyes. 

She had her milkshake halfway to her lips when her body stilled, a painful grimace crossing her features. Those eyes scanned the entirety of the restaurant, almost looking for someone. 

“Are you alright?” Jesse questioned. 

“Uh,” Lethia winced, nearly doubling over in pain when she grasped at the ends of the table. 

A small gust of wind bristled by our table, tickling the back of my neck, and as I rubbed there Lethia quickly rushed to her feet. 

“I need a moment,” she grumbled before rushing out of the restaurant. 

Noah wanted to go after her but decided against it, knowing she needed time to herself. 

“Anyone else think she does that a lot?” Michael questioned. 

Noah sighed while running a hand through the long strands of his hair. “Lethia has a lot going on right now. She needs help.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked while tossing my garbage on the tray in front of me. 

There was slight hesitation from Noah for a long moment until he eventually divulged to us that he believes Lethia is running from an ex who wanted her back, even though he kicked her out of their house. 

“Oh, right. Lucifer,” Michael snorted. “Are we sure she doesn’t have this obsession with the occult or some shit? The only Lucifer I’d heard of is the supposed devil. 

Orie smacked him upside the head. “Dude, Lethia is not dating the devil.” 

“She’s not dating anyone,” Noah’s eyes sliced over to him but they softened when he realized his words. “Lethia’s not dating anyone.” 

“Then what do you call what’s going on between the two of you?” Jesse wondered. 

“I don’t know,” Noah shrugged. “I like her but I don’t want to rush her into anything she doesn’t want.” 

“From what I’ve seen, you’re not. Whatever you’re giving her, she’s reciprocating it back. Lethia feels the same, Noah. You don’t have to worry about that,” I assured him. 

All he did was nod as he kept his gaze on the door of the restaurant where Lethia stormed through minutes before. 

LETHIA

“Come to me, Lethia. My queen. I need you by my side to rule.” 

I clawed at my ears, digging out Lucifer's voice, and continued to run into the woods behind the restaurant. My body ached with the pain of my wings nearly forcing their way out of my back. It’s been a few days since I let them out and it was beginning to crush me. 

“I miss you, Lethia. I need you again.” 

“Stop!” I cried while falling to my knees in the leaves and dirt, hands covering my ears. 

“I’ll never stop until I have you in my presence. You are mine, Lethia. Not his.” 

All but ripping Noah’s sweater off of me, I tossed it to the side just as I let out a sheer groan of agony mixed with ecstasy when my large wings exploded from my back. The force of them caused the branches of the trees around me to falter, some falling to the ground around me like drops of rain. 

My jaw was slack as I peered up to the gloomy grays of the sky, an upcoming storm about to ravage through the city. All the pain I felt inside the restaurant was long forgotten, replaced with the intoxication of my angelic being. My powers began to slowly fester low inside of me and with an open palm, I watched the bright light slowly begin to grow into a baseball-sized orb then with a flick of my wrist, I sent it to a tree far off into the distance, incinerating it completely. 

My body vibrated with all of my senses. I could hear the chatter of people miles away, feeling the slight creep of chills against the skin of my back when my name came out from the chatter. 

“Lethia.” 

Before, it was Lucifer speaking in my mind. But now, that voice that uttered my name was the same that spoke when he was kissing me last night. 

My left wing came around to the front of me, blocking me from anyone who dared to venture into the woods and a broken sob fell from my chattering lips. They were deteriorating at such a rapid pace. While they were still large, dark, and caused fear to any mortal who saw them, my wings were a pathetic excuse to any other angel. A few feathers drifted into the wind, the weakness from hiding who I was taunting me. 

“There she is. I knew you couldn’t hide who you were. The darkness lies inside of you, begging to awaken.” 

I sucked in a gulp of air when Maraxa’s voice crept into my mind now; the cold and monotone bringing a chill to my bones. 

My eyes rolled to the back of my head when a vision slammed into me. 

Noah and the guys sitting in the booth of the restaurant, smiling and laughing with a group of girls that sauntered up to the table. One of the girls was standing a bit too close to Noah, as he signed something for her. When he handed it back, their fingers grazed over the girl’s. His almond eyes snapped from her hand to her face, gazing at all of her features.

“No!” I screamed while rising to my feet. “Stop. I know what you’re doing!” 

“Oh, sweet Oblivion. I’m doing nothing that your mind is already thinking.” 

The way Maraxa uttered my other name made me whirl around, thinking she was here with me. 

“I’m not Oblivion anymore. I haven’t been for a very long time,” I spat, eyes scanning my surroundings. 

“You should see yourself. Looking like a mad angel who lost her mind.” 

Uriel’s warnings were right. My wings were deteriorating and now, I was losing myself in my mind. Were these voices even in my head? Or had I been imagining them since my fall? 

“Lethia?!” 

My head snapped up to just outside the clearing of the woods, Noah’s faint outline slowly closing the distance. 

“Oh, you’re thinking of letting him see you in your true form. Surely, he will think you’re even more of a freak than how you look. He wouldn’t understand.” 

Meraxa. 

The voices wouldn’t stop, no matter how hard I smacked my ears to drown them out. 

“This mortal will never understand you. You’re mine, Lethia. Mine and no one else's. I will have you in my arms once again.” 

Lucifer. 

“Stop,” I cried while falling to my knees again, my wings wrapping around me in a protective barrier. 

“Dethrone the King and all of his kingdom will be yours.” 

Uriel. 

“Lethia? Are you okay?” 

Noah. 

Snapping my eyes open, they landed on Noah who was now a few feet away from me. With a roll of my shoulders, I stood to my feet, appearing just as I had moments before leaving his presence. 

NOAH

“Lethia, are you alright?” I questioned as she appeared through the clearing of the woods. 

I felt Lethia brush past me as she walked back toward the car, not uttering a word at me. My heart sank slightly but I did my best not to dwell on it because of our moments together in my bedroom and the bathroom last night. The unbridled passion between us was burning over into undeniable attraction. 

With a sigh, I tied my hair into a low bun, ready to go back home after this long day, but a flutter of movement at my feet caught my attention. It was a lone black feather, just like the one I'd found that first night Lethia appeared in my life. 

Bending at the knees, I reached for the feather, and then with a gasp of breath, I felt my vision being yanked away from me at the edges, darkness encompassing every part of me. I felt my soul being dragged away into another dimension, tumbling into a brighter vision of pure peace and eternal life. 

A woman with white golden hair stood in front of me, even brighter wings protruding from her back, as she held onto less fragile wings from the man who kneeled at her feet. 

"Oblivion," he cried. "Don't fall into the true meaning of your name, please." 

The woman; no angel cocked her head to the side with a slight wicked smile. 

"The King bestowed this name to me for a reason," was all she said before the man's cries of death and pain erupted but were overshadowed by the sounds of his wings being ripped from his back. 

With a gasp of breath, I was dragged back into the present, nearly stumbling onto my ass. Looking around my surroundings, I noticed I was back in Los Angeles, Jolly and Jesse slowly walking towards me. 

"You alright?" Jolly wondered. 

Ignoring him, I twirled the feather in my fingers and locked eyes with Lethia, who gave nothing away from her face except the slight flicker of light in her red eyes.

This vision didn’t feel like it was one of my own memories. It was as if I was dragged into someone else subconscious as I watched from the outside looking in. Something about watching the angel get his wings ripped away from him felt wrong, especially with the wicked smirk the female angel had on her face when she did it. 

I couldn’t ignore the way my mind vibrated with the familiarity of her. I knew who she was but she didn’t look familiar. Her presence was the only familiar thing about her and with a flick of my gaze to Lethia, there was a small part of me that knew who it was. 

With a sigh, I carefully pocketed the feather in my coat pocket and nodded over to Jesse who asked if I was ready to head back to the house. When I climbed into the car, I noticed that Michael and Jolly sat in the back with Lethia, so I retreated into the front seat of the car, while Jesse lounged in the middle with Harper. 

“Everything alright?” Orie asked as he pulled the car out onto the main road. 

Glancing over my shoulder, I watched Lethia for a few beats as she stared straight out of her window, not bothering to meet my gaze. I knew she could feel it burning into her but whatever happened to her outside in those woods rendered her speechless. 

“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully before turning back to face forward with a sigh. 

As soon as we arrived back at the house, Lethia nearly jumped out of the car to run inside once Jolly opened the door for her. She locked herself away in my bedroom for the rest of the afternoon well into the evening. Part of me wanted to check on her if she was alright but it was clear she wanted to be left alone. If she needed me, she would let me know. 

Would she? 

With a shake of my head at the thought, I bid a goodnight to Jesse and Michael as we watched a movie together in the living room and slowly retreated up the steps to my room. The door opened a crack but before I pushed my way through, I noticed Lethia standing in the middle of my room in front of my mirror. She was only wearing a pair of black panties and a matching bra. I knew I should have averted my gaze to anything else but I was mesmerized by her. 

Lethia showed me her back, hands slinking up her spine towards the hook of her bra, the material falling to the floor at her feet. My breath caught in my throat when I noticed the large crow tattoo on her right shoulder blade. But it wasn’t just the sight of it that gave me great pause; it was the large upside-down V scar on her back. It wasn’t an old scar. It looked new; fresh. 

“What the?” I muttered, slowly pushing away from the door to stand in the middle of the landing above the stairs. 

With a glance over the landing, I noticed that Jesse and Michael were still sitting on the couch, and knowing Jolly and Orie retreated to bed earlier, the computer in the studio was free. As I came back downstairs to head into the studio that was off the den, Jesse raised a brow at me. 

“I thought you went to bed?” 

I motioned to the room in front of me. “Late-night inspiration.” 

Shutting the door behind me, I dropped down into the chair in front of the computer with my fingers hovering over the keyboard. My mind was full of different words, I wasn’t sure where to start. 

Black feathers. 

Vivid dreams. 

Crows in dreams. 

Upside-down V scars on a person's back. 

Angels. 

Fallen Angels. 

The last one made me freeze ever so still, a memory of my own past creeping into the front recesses of my mind. 

“Noah, dear! Come on. It’s time for your bedtime story!” 

Eight-year-old me ran down the long hallway of my grandparent's house into my bedroom there and hopped into my bed, where my grandma sat on the edge with a fond smile. 

“Lord of the Rings?” I asked while climbing under the blankets. 

She chuckled while tucking me in. “Now, what did I say about those books? Aren’t you a little too young for them?” 

I rolled my eyes. “Ok grandma, what’s the story tonight?” 

“Fallen angels.” 

“Like from heaven?” I asked with furrowed brows. 

“Now I won't bore you with all the details but there’s something special about them,” my grandma began while patting my thigh over the blanket. “When an angel falls from heaven, people think they’re automatically stripped of all their powers but sometimes that's not the case.” 

She continued. “There’s this story of a great angel that fell, her feathers scattered all over the world. Whenever a human touched them, they would be sucked into memories of the angel.” 

I gave my grandma a “you can’t be serious” look but she only cupped my cheek in response.  

“No one believed that angels walked among us until someone saw the scars on the back of one.” 

“Scars?” I said, sitting up straighter in bed. 

“Large ones on their back. In an upside-down V.” 

I choked on a breath nearly falling out of the computer chair but gripped the handrests to keep myself steady. When I was eight years old, I figured my grandma was blowing smoke out of her ass, telling another one of her many stories. But now, everything seemed to have a bit of truth. 

Biting my bottom lip, I clicked on Google and quickly typed the words into the search bar before I doubted myself a second longer. 

Fallen Angel.

I clicked on the first website. 

“Fallen Angels are angels who have been exiled or banished from Heaven. Often such banishment is a punishment for disobeying or rebelling against their King,” I read the words out loud. 

I scrolled down the page a bit farther, still muttering the words out loud as I read them. 

“If a fallen angel is impaled or struck in the scars created when his or her wings were ripped out usually spanning from shoulder blades to kidney area, he or she will be temporarily immobilized. Some angels still have scars even if they haven’t lost their wings. It’s easier for the skin to peel away for the wings to slip from.” 

I shivered at the phantom feeling but then froze when I read the next section. 

“A fallen angel is unable to feel physical pain or sensations.” 

Scrolling down a bit farther, it was then that I realized how right I’d been about this feeling festering within me; almost begging to be let out. 

“A fallen angel's feather holds a lot of power. It holds the memories of the angel and whoever touches them can find themselves in those memories. A fallen angel's biggest weakness is one of their feathers. If a feather is burned, the original owner of the feather will be chained in Hell for eternity. Otherwise, fallen angels are nearly as indestructible as Angels and Archangels.” 

I fell back into the chair and rubbed a hand over my mouth, letting everything I read process in my mind. Everything correlated to what I’ve noticed with Lethia especially the part of her not being able to feel anything. 

There’d been a few times when it seemed like my touch meant nothing to her. But when we kissed, it seemed as if she could feel that. 

The feathers. 

Even though I tried to deny what I’d seen when I picked up the feather today, I knew that it was true what I’d seen. 

But how come I hadn’t seen anything when I picked up the first feather? 

Hunching back over towards the computer screen, I read more into the section about fallen angel feathers. 

“The more fallen angel feathers you touch, the stronger your connection to their memories is.” 

With a purse of my lips, I rummaged around the desk looking for my lyric book where I had stashed the first feather, using it as a bookmark. The other feather was still in my pocket, weighing heavily with the fear of what I would see next. My heart was pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears and feel it in my throat. It was suffocating, this feeling clawing its way inside of me, threatening to pull me under. 

Did I want to do this? 

Was I ready for what I could potentially see? 

Granted, I had to take everything I read online with a grain of salt because it could have been a bunch of made-up bullshit. But with it correlating to not only my grandma’s story but things I’ve noticed about Lethia, there had to be some truth to it all. 

“Fuck it,” I muttered while grabbing the feather in my lyric notebook at the same time I grabbed the one in my pocket. 

Darkness lingered at the corners of not only my vision but my mind as well. It dragged me under with no warning to the dark depths of what I could only assume was Lethia’s mind. 

My body landed with a thud to the cool wetness of the grass below me and quickly scrambling to my knees, I took in the vast empty field that went on for miles. Brightly colored trees lined the edge of the field and it was so quiet here that I could hear my blood running through my veins. 

“My love. I've been waiting for you.” 

Whirling around on my heels, I took in the sight of a tall man with skinny but large white wings extended from his back. His black hair was a mess of curls in front of his eyes and the dark levis hung low on his hips. The sheer brightness of his green eyes was almost eerie and I felt as if he could see straight into my soul. 

But he didn’t. It was as if he didn’t see me when he walked past me, over towards a lone figure lying in the grass a few meters away from me. 

Long golden, almost white, strands of hair fell around her shoulders as she sat up, bright eyes staring back at the man who was slowly closing the distance. I swallowed thickly when I recognized that face. 

It wasn’t the way I knew her but it was still her. 

Lethia. 

“Lucifer. You know you’re not supposed to be here,” she quickly rose to her feet, taking a step back from him. 

He stood in front of her shirtless, the defining muscles of his chest and stomach tightening as he stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. 

So her ex actually was Lucifer. 

What the fuck did you just step into, Noah?

“I snuck away from the King for a moment. I needed to see you,” Lucifer tried to reach for her. 

Lethia smacked his hands away before running a shaking one of hers through her long hair. I then noticed she also had her wings exposed; large and as white as her hair. 

“We cannot be seen together! If the King finds out we’ve been together, he will banish us; or worse.” 

Lucifer chuckled darkly then pulled Lethia into his arms; her going willingly. 

I gritted my teeth at the jealousy that coursed through me, trying to tell myself that it was a very long time ago and it didn’t mean anything; not anymore. 

“My sweet Oblivion. The King wouldn’t banish his number one soldier. If he lost you, who would tear out the wings of the ones who went against him?” 

My blood ran cold at Lucifer's words. I knew that the first memory I saw had something to do with Lethia but I never put two and two together. She was the one who ripped out the angel's wings.

“I did horrible things back home and how could I ever be allowed back?

Her words from the last night made more sense now than they did when she first uttered them. 

“I cannot,” Lethia tried to fight against his grasp but ultimately gave in. 

“One more night. After tonight, I’ll let you be,” Lucifer’s fingers linked behind her neck, tilting her lips up towards him. 

“We both know we cannot stay away from each other,” she uttered before pulling him down to the grass with him. 

My eyes snapped open with a gulp of air and I gazed around the room of my studio, making sure that I was still alone. It took me some time to get my breath back to normal and my heart back to a steady pace. 

I slammed both of the feathers in my lyric book and hid it in the far back of the closet in the room, hoping no one else would find it. Those feathers held too much power and if I lost them, the looming fear of what could happen taunted me. 

“If an angel's feather is burned, they become changed to Hell for all eternity,” I reiterated the words I read earlier. 

Whether or not that part was true, I couldn’t risk it. 

Letting out a long breath, I shut down the computer and slowly slipped out of the studio, going upstairs to my bedroom unnoticed by Jesse and Michael who were still watching the movie. This time when I stopped in front of my room, I noticed the door was shut so I was quiet as I stepped inside, finding a sleeping Lethia cuddled under the mounds of blankets on my bed. 

I stood there for a long moment, staring at her back as it faced me, wondering what the scars looked like again underneath her shirt. 

My shirt. 

I had offered her to wear anything of mine and it seemed like she took me up on that offer. 

It was clear who she was running from. Lucifer. He wanted her back for reasons unknown to me but it was clear she didn’t want to go with him. 

I moved around my room quietly to change into a pair of sweats, opting not to sleep in a shirt only because it got extremely hot in my room during these summer nights, even with the air conditioner on. 

Softly, I got into bed behind Lethia as the faint breaths coming from her filled the air. For the first while, I laid on my back and stared up at my ceiling but when I noticed she didn’t move away, I turned to my side but still kept space between us. The heat from her body radiated around me, pulling me into her aura and I found myself never wanting to leave. 

Even though I knew what she was now, I wouldn’t tell Lethia I knew. This was something she needed to tell me when she was ready. 

Instead, I wrapped my arm around her midsection and pulled her into my chest. Although she might not be able to feel my touch, that didn’t stop me from running my nose along the crook of her neck, breathing in the scent of her. She must have showered because she smelled of peaches and a hint of something familiar. 

Me. 

I faintly smelled my shampoo in her skin and I hummed in pleasure. 

“What happened to the wall of pillows?” Lethia’s tired voice broke through the silence. 

I knew she was teasing when I heard her smile with her words. 

“This is much better than a wall of pillows,” I mused while I caressed her neck with my lips.

Lethia relaxed in my arms as she gave herself over to me and linked my fingers that rested on her stomach with hers and I wrapped my leg over hers, locking her in place. 

“Goodnight, Noah,” she murmured into the pillow. 

“Sweet dreams, Lethia,” I pressed a kiss to her head, finally letting the long day falter away with the darkness that swallowed us whole. 

[a-s-levynn]

I'm terrified to post this. So watch me sprinting away into the distance after dropping this.

Open love letter to -in extension to the wider ST community on tumblr, but especially- to the fellowship of Sleep because without you, life would be much more lonely

My Friends,

It was today when it finally dawned on me that you gave me the most undescribably precious gift. Many of you probably going to relate to this to some degree because i am not unique in any sense but i had to get this out. And by just the sheer lenght probably not many of you will read it. But i still need to put this out there, even if i'm being obnoxious and probably sound overdramatic and maybe even cringy.

I struggle with a lot of things. Anxiety, self doubt, depression, paranoia, self destructive tendencies, self isolation and the list goes on to even darker places. All in all i have a suboptimal mental state to put it lightly. I feel inadequate in many ways. Especially with connecting to people.

To this day, i struggle every day, seeing my friends, you, talk on a daily basis, have inside jokes and wonderful conversations and whatnot and either i like it or not, thoughts intrude: "am i doing enough? Am i a good enough of a friend? Do i really have a place among these wonderful bright souls? Am i intruding? Am i inserting myself into spaces i do not have any right to be? Am i forcing myself into your circles?"

For the longest time, on most days the conclusion was no. I do not belong. You were just being nice to the pathetic little creature in the corner because by nature you are simply kind. But as the weeks went by i learned that you are also awkward people with your own stuggles and hardships which are far harder and more painful than mine. That you are choosing to be kind every day, in spite of what life threw at you. Because you know.

I started to see you also crave a particular type of companionship and you reach out with the same trembling hands, hoping that someone sees it and grabs it. That someone finally says: you are not alone. I am here. For you. With you.

And you did. You've seen a bunch of hands fumbling in the dark, desperate to hold onto something and went: yeah.. i think i'll grab all of them. Because we are coming from the same darkness. And if i can help pull you into the light than you might have the strenght to do the same for me, so we can all sit in the warmth of the fire. The fire we built together. A fire that is growing ever brighter and allowes us to see even more hands on the edges to be pulled and invited into the circle.

So we have. For a while sitting almost silently, showing the things we found along the way. Tentatively feeling out the boundries. Than we broke the silence. You even started to call me your friend at some point. I already considered you mine because i'm painfully lonely and just the gesture, that you included me among the hands you grabbed was enough for me to see you mine. But all in all, for some unknowable reason, we became friends.

The weeks turned into months and i felt a bit more comfortable to approach you on my own clumsy and awkward ways. Many of you know by now that Tiny Token was born because i was too afraid to send a happy birthday ask to someone. I still apologize regularly just for adding thoughts to posts even if i only do it in tags. I am afraid. Of so many thing.

We still don't talk daily. Yet we still call each other friend. We have actual plans now. I still stuggle with the though of not being enough. There are still days when i feel you just feeling pity towards me.

But lately there is an other thought there. Which makes me feel bad for thinking that way. A thought that's never been there before. "If i was truly bothersome or annoying or any way too unpleasent, you could simply walk away. This is the internet after all. You could just block me. You have the option to walk away but you are time and time again choosing not to. No matter how many days pass by with us not talking, you are there. I can count on you. I'm still hesitant to reach out and dump my superficial adversities on you. But i also see you keeping the door ajar, leaving the option there to be approached if anyone needs it. So it would be not just a disservice but an outright insult to you if i'd think you are just acting out of pity. But if you like me than.. there has to be something about me to actually to be worth knowing?"

And that is doing something that ten years worth of failed therapy could not. You made me question my self doubt. It is still there and will be for the rest of my life. But now there is a steady counter balance i never had this solidly in my life ever before.

I'm still afraid to ask even if anyone would be up for a talk, let alone a call because i have little to offer in conversations. I don't talk much by default and that is not a good base for conversations. I'm still terrified of overstaying my welcome. But i also know now that you probably wouldn't mind from time to time. Because you understand. Maybe one day i will get there. I don't know when but there is a hope i never truly had before.

This is something i will never be able to repay you. Thank you for understanding that we all have different levels of anxiety and fear and not holding it against one and other. I'm writing this to you with immens love and eternal gratitude i cannot truly express in any way that does it justice: Thank you for showing me hope. Thank you for being the way you are.

You gave me the biggest gift there is to give.

You gave me your friendship.

I love you.

Yours in friendship,

Levynn

[cappurrccino]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks @captaincravatthecapricious for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

80, apparently!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

234,199

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Currently not really any because my muse fuckin packed her bags and took a vacation, but Malevolent, Halo, and Destiny are the big ones. I'd like to do more for Warframe and FFXIV, though!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

strange domains (TMA/Malevolent)

It's Called Supervising (Destiny... the power of putting Cayde-6 in your fic, I swear)

once in a movie night (Malevolent)

where you go, i go (TMA/WTNV)

Treason (Hollow Knight/Destiny AU)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I'm trying to be better about it! A lot of the time, though, I simply don't know what to say and fall into the "how do I respond to birthday wishes" trap because writing "Thanks!" a bunch feels disingenuous even though I am thankful and glad someone liked the fic enough to comment

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

Ptttthhhbbbbbbbb, probably the one where Bornstellar finds his family all floodified on the Halo Chakas & Riser got marooned on in Primordium

(I have not reread this fic in ages bc I remember not being super happy with how it was written and don't want to see I published a disaster lol)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Oh, so many of them. Happy fluffy nonsense is my wheelhouse. If I have to pick one, though, maybe day 7: we fucking did it just because I don't think any other characters have Gone Through It as much as John & Arthur have, so they would get the most joy from a lazy day at the river

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Nah

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Absolutely not lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! If we take "craziest" to mean "silliest" probably the Destiny/WTNV crossover thing I flirted with for a while in 2016 (old woman Josie lives in the desert with a house full of taken)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Again, not to my knowledge

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

@warlordfelwinter and I were writing a novelized version of a D&D campaign we were in, by which I mean Fel did the bulk of the writing and I filled in the Alexa-specific parts!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 

Bornstellar/Splendid Dust! My boys! My beloveds! I'm pspsps-ing people into this sandbox with me because right now there are 4 fics for them on AO3 and they're all mine

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

Any of them 😭

16. What are your writing strengths? 

Dumb shit. But I like to think I'm also good at writing weird stuff (I also just have a lot of fun writing weird stuff, like Fundament and the Dark World)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

Plots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I wouldn't dare unless I was fluent, which will basically never happen...

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

Transformers, baybee! I think at this point I've lost all of my TF fic from my ff.net days due to time and computer moves, which is a real shame, because I wrote a TF/ST crossover centered on tribbles once that I remember being one of the best things I've ever written... Maybe if I'm lucky it's on one of my old external drives and I can reupload it... 🤔

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

The hardest question in the world... hmm... maybe wait through the night for the dawn light to break just because it's the longest thing I've done and the MalevBB experience was so fun... but I also really like Siren's Eye bc Fundament and Osmium sibs and my funky little sea-runners, and I also really like Corpus Siege just bc it was so fun to write, and I also like— [is dragged off stage by a comically large shepherd's hook]

[yelling from the wings] also that Halo AU I had where I gave people metahuman powers! thank you and goodnight!

Tagging:

@warlordfelwinter, @xivu-arath, @wonderwafles, @titan-mom (no pressure, of course!)

[zukkaoru]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @starrynightarchive and @feralshadowdemon, ty for the tag!! putting most of this under a cut since it's long lol

tagging (with no pressure): @that-was-anticlimactic @backhurtyy @rejectscanon

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

167 linked to my main ao3 account. maybe some others floating around that have been made anonymous or orphaned or something. who knows

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

965,845 - okay wow i did not realize i was that close to 1mil. huh

3. what fandoms do you write for?

well right now the bsd brainrot has taken hold of me and i cannot think of much else. but i do have a handful of zine fics for other fandoms that are in progress / will be posted eventually. i have a very long list of fandoms i have written for in the past; however, i would not recommend reading anything posted before 2021

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

plum blossom

you clutched my brain and eased my ailing

my calamitous love & insurmountable grief

five times ryan came out (and one time he couldn't)

(just wanna be) somebody i'm proud of

my disclaimer here is that these are absolutely nowhere even close to being by best fics and i kind of resent them being my top five

5. do you respond to comments

i'm trying🫠 i let like 600+ pile up in my inbox over the course of a year and a half (or more) and so i recently went through and just marked everything as read instead of actually responding. BUT (almost) all comments on fics posted since ~august 2023 will get responses. exceptions are if i literally don't know what to say bc i'm bad at talking to people sorry

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

you don't even want to know the horrors that showed up in my google docs this weekend. but also either if one of us dies or may we stay lost on our way home

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'll go with this ultraviolet morning light just bc it's probably the greatest payoff since it takes longest to get to the happy ending

8. do you get hate on fics?

not typically but there have been a few mean comments over the years. actually i got one bookmark on a fic that's in a series for a fanweek that says "ignore the others in this series but this one is good" and honest to god it just made me laugh. like.. you do realize i can see that, right?

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i can barely write kiss scenes

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

i don't usually BUT when i was in middle school my friend and i created The Megacrossover, which consisted of us putting a bunch of different book characters into a hunger games arena. and we just kept adding more fandoms, and having new characters be transported into the arena. it was a good time. this was also entirely handwritten as all fanfiction should be when you're 10-12 years old

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge. definitely found one fic that was like. heavily influenced by mine back in my ouat days though

12. what's the longest you've spent working on a fic? and the shortest?

longest: over a year, at least shortest: a couple hours (not including editing)

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

not technically since the megacrossover but corey and i co-come up with ideas like. at least once a week

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? from all fandoms?

outlaw queen has to be my answer to this forever and always. never forgive never forget 🏹🍎

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

too many to answer. probably the biggest one is the azula-centric sequel to tuvml that i simply do not have the attention to write bc the hyperfixations have travelled elsewhere :( there are many many others though. i have an endless amount of ideas and not enough time

16. what are your writing strengths?

people often tell me i'm good at characterization and tbh i do pride myself on knowing characters better than 97% of the rest of the fandom. not all of the characters. but most of them.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

short attention span </3

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

do whatever you want forever. but like.. respectfully

19. first fandom you wrote for?

probably percy jackson when i was like 10. no you cannot find that anywhere online because i, like an idiot, deleted it without saving a backup copy

20. favorite fic you've written?

definitely (i am) the whisper of a memory. i love a lot of my fics, but that is one i am especially proud of because i tried new things with the formatting and i think it worked really really well

[aerialworms-art]

I posted 15 times in 2022

That's 15 more posts than 2021!

7 posts created (47%)

8 posts reblogged (53%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fellshish

@desdemonasarahmckenzie-art

@chapeldean

@kotumari

I tagged 15 of my posts in 2022

#spn - 8 posts

#my art - 8 posts

#castiel - 6 posts

#fanart - 5 posts

#dean winchester - 4 posts

#destiel - 3 posts

#supernatural - 3 posts

#30k dean - 2 posts

#reblog - 2 posts

#i know how this website works i swear - 1 post

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#it's so weird to see my clothes drawn out. like yes i did draw and paint this but like. those are mine give them back

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

URL change

@d-ood-le-bug -> @desdemonasarahmckenzie-art

For clarity’s sake, and also because I kept forgetting the third hyphen in my url and it was getting annoying lmao

I’m just gonna post my art on here. I’ll probably go back and change the watermarks on my art if I can.

4 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

#4

Quick and messy doodle turned profile pic for my main blog @desdemonasarahmckenzie (and my AO3 account, desdemona_sarah_mckenzie, since I’ve always wanted my icons on here and over there to match) :) Yes, that’s me hugging Cas. No, I have no shame.

[Image ID: A brightly coloured and simply drawn self-portrait of me, with short spiky brown hair, glasses, and a blue plaid hoodie hugging Castiel, who is smiling slightly. I’m saying ‘Too precious for this world ❤′. The background is the gay pride flag. /End ID.]

7 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

#3

I drew a little Cas in a comfy jumper to motivate me, have some motivation too!

[Image ID: A biro drawing of Castiel from Supernatural.  He is shown from the shoulders up facing the viewer, and is smiling. He is wearing a knitted jumper. In a speech bubble, he says ‘You can do it!’ The artist’s signature ‘IE’ is written by his right shoulder. /.End ID]

10 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

#2

[Image ID: A cartoony watercolour painting of Dean and Cas with black lineart. Dean is waving a big banner that says ‘30k!!!’ in the rainbow pride flag colours while he leans in and kisses Cas forcefully on the cheek. He’s wearing jeans, a green flannel, and an AC/DC t-shirt. He has his arm around Cas’ neck. Cas is smiling and holding Dean’s hand. His other arm is around Dean’s waist. He’s wearing his usual trenchcoat and suit with his backwards tie. There’s rainbow confetti all around them. /End ID.]

[Image ID: Same as the previous image, only the banner is now a rainbow pride flag. /End ID.]

Woohoo!! @fellshish’s Dean post got 30k notes and I got to make some bonus art to celebrate!!! I guess these two are celebrating too!!!

I painted this in meatspace so I could add a pride flag just for funsies :D 

98 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Just cuddling with your homies, nbd...

I caught up on @fellshish’s amazing substack fic Dean Daily (now on ao3!) since it finally ended (I’m only crying a little, I swear!) The Jun 28th entry wormed its way into my brain (they got matching tattoos! and Cas was healing them!!!) and I just had to do fanart! 

I might write a little ficlet, but the headcanon for this image is that they’re watching a gay movie together (y’know, so Dean can see if Cas made his confession in a gay way or if he’s just uhhhhh a real good friend), and Dean can’t tell if the glow of grace is from the TV or from Cas <3 Obviously he’s going to be completely normal about it :)

(ID under the cut)

[Image ID: A digital drawing of Dean and Cas sitting on a comfy sofa, facing the viewer, illuminated by an off-screen TV. The room behind them is dark. Cas has a bee-patterned blanket on his lap and a comfy blue knitted sweater. Dean is wearing jeans, a green flannel, and a Queen t-shirt, which is covered by the flannel so only the Queen logo and the letters ‘QUEE’ are showing. 

Cas is leaning against Dean, who has his arm around Cas’ shoulders. His other arm is resting on his knee and that hand is clenched into a fist. Cas’ right hand is on Dean’s left knee, and his other is holding Dean’s forearm, half-turned towards the viewer. They both have matching black angel wing tattoos on their left wrists. 

Cas’ eyes are closed and he is kissing Dean’s tattoo, and grace is glowing from where he’s kissing. Dean is blushing and has a shocked expression. The artist’s blog name ‘@d-ood-lebug’ is sideways to Dean’s left.. /.End ID]

[Image ID: A partially animated gif of the image described above. The TV light flickers throughout. Dean’s eyebrows rise from a neutral position and he blushes as Cas’ grace begins to shine over his lips and Dean’s tattoo. These all increase until the match the first image. The grace dims, and Dean’s blush fades and his eyebrows drop back to normal. The gif loops. /.End ID]

196 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[guesswhattimeitis]

N A O L I C E + Q T

OH MY GOD I FORGOT I QUEUED THIS ASK THING WHILE ON A TRAIN

Uh anyways, thanks lol

N- Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice): So for this one(and later questions) I’d say I don’t have a “main fandom” but I think in general all of my fandoms need 3 things more: more femslash, more midsized fic, and more art of the shorter one being the top. It can be portal, or sailor moon, or star wars it all needs more. I need to see more girls kiss, I need more fics longer than 500 words and less than 50000 words, and I need the short one to pick up her tall girlfriend and show her how it’s done

A- Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed: So I still haven’t seen Ahsoka at all but um I love the wolfwren I’ve seen, I’ve weirdly been working on a bunch of original stories recently which has had my brain in a chokehold including a throuple I’ll probably make a post about at some point

O- Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?: I put my longest playlist on shuffle and got Used To Be Mine from Waitress and this song recently reminded me a lot of Bo Katan, especially in her most recent arc, realizing she’s changed and not sure if she’s ready for that or if she likes the change

L- Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.): I’m going to jump to portal here; Wheatley is a deeply effective and enjoyable villain to face off against. The build up to his takeover, everything falling apart; it really solidified portal 2 as a great sequel. I don’t hate him, but wow I don’t like the way the fandom treats him

I- Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? I’ve been here since 2013, so. Many. Many many many. My blocked tags list includes dozens, so I’ll spare the list, but the most ironic is one piece, considering tumblr’s recent ad campaign

C- A ship you have never liked and probably never will: I don’t dislike many ships generally, I usually keep it to myself and just avoid ships I don’t like, but I genuinely dislike when Aloy is shipped with that one guy from HZD, I don’t even remember his name but he just personally annoyed me and gave me bad vibes. And also I think of her as a lesbian so.

E- Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? I don’t think I’m “big” in any fandoms so I don’t think I’m responsible for any like, crack headcanons being spread around, and even on like a personal level I’m not usually one to jump down a crackship so much as I love rarepairs (yes I consider them different so sue me) but I did recently like Yue/Azula as a wild au kind of situation lol

Q- A fandom you’ve abandoned and why: I don’t abandon fandoms so much as they lie dormant until I return to them, sometimes years later. Even adventure time, the fandom that got me on tumblr, has lain dormant for a long time only to resurface now and again, especially with new releases

T- Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? I love “Chell is deaf” and/or “Chell is mute”as something to read and see in fanart, but I will die by the idea that she simply chooses not to say shit. That’s so much funnier.

Phew! So many, ahhh I will send you some too btw I just literally forgot I did this 😵‍💫

[vwritesaus]

this is from ages ago, lol sorry, but ahhh thank you so much for the tag, healy!! this is so cool hehe (finally gotten around to it!!)

before i delve into my own fics, i gotta say once again how much of a huge fan i am of all your fics, and from the ones you've listed, "a therapeutic chain of events" and "dreamscapes on the wall" are my absolute favourites. they're such great fanfictions, and i've reread them so many times. you're an incredible writer, one of my all time favs, and i endeavour to read, comment on, and kudos every single fic of yours ♡♡

now... i'm only gonna list my completed fics. i've got too many WIPs/fics that have multiple chapters that i love soooo much, but are nowhere near finished lol

SO:

when i fall, don't let me drown (haikyuu!!, bokuto/akaashi, 44.1k). this is my longest published fic to date, and probably my magnum opus for this ship. highkey proud of myself for managing to write this one given it was for a big bang event and that i decided to go down a canon-divergent path. very self-indulgent, and my love letter to these two darlings

breathe (the last hours, thomas/alastair, 4.4k). funnily enough, i didn't really love the end result of this fic when i first posted it. it was more of a 'phew alright, it's done, it's okay, the idea is written out as best as it could be, whatever, i'm over it now' situation rather than 'omg, this is the best thing i've ever written'. now that a bit of time has passed, i reread it recently and now i see it as a fic to be super happy about. missing scene fics are always so great to write, and given it's post-thomas and alastair's first time? yeah, i'm proud of this one

a (too few) hundred hearts (the last hours, thomas/alastair, 20.5k). look... this was literally my first (finished) tsc fic i wrote since i got into the series back in 2009/2010, and the one that's catapulted me into writing so many. while timeless got me into writing tsc again and helped me deal with the brainrot after finishing chain of iron, a(tf)hh is another self-indulgent fic where i was like 'oh, what if alastair and kit herondale met??' that i simply had to write. i had so much fun with it, 10/10 writing experience haha

in gold, blue, and pale pink (haikyuu!!, kuroo/kenma, 5.2k). this was for a secret santa event, i think??? or some kind of exchange, idk. but it was one i had so much joy writing. it's a holiday season story + childhood friends to lovers trope. very gooey and cosy with do i? don't i? sprinkled throughout. an absolute favourite of mine

whispers in a fox's ear (haikyuu!!, sakusa/atsumu, 34.1k). definitely one of my more experimental fics, and one i'm so glad i stuck to my guns to write. it was a bit of a rollercoaster time when i wrote it (end of uni blues, existential crises, etc.) and i feel like some of that bled into the story. has some of my favourite lines/paragraphs that i now look back on and think 'wow, did i really write this?!' also my first sakuatsu fic

i'm leaving this as an open tag! so come along and join in if you like :>

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

This is amazing!

A Therapeutic Chain of Events (Thomas/Alastair, 16,763 words). Highkey one of my favourite things I have ever written. It's essentially my love letter to the ship, and I'm extremely proud of it.

The Name We Give Our Mistakes (Matthew character study, 35,442 words). Definitely my longest fic, and I had such a great time with it. Matthew is my everything and I am glad I got to do his story justice with this.

A Ribbon of Dream (Thomas/Alastair, 19,768 words). I had such a great time writing this one, and I especially loved writing Thomas and Alastair as they grew old together. It's one of my favourites by a long shot.

The Moon in Her Chariot of Pearl (Matthew & Will/Tessa, 7457 words). Had an enormously good time with this one, and the story of Will and Tessa's 30th anniversary is one I've wanted to tell for a while. Plus, I always have so much fun with Matthew Fairchild: An Expert in Romantics fics.

Dreamscapes on the Wall (Thomas/Alastair, 9073 words). Such a feel-good fic. I had a great time writing it, and reading it makes me feel all warm inside.

Tagging @themimsyborogove @luciehercndale @vwritesaus @thevagabondexpress and @faithfromanewperspective. <3

[echoofheartbeats]

I posted 31 times in 2022

That's 6 more posts than 2021!

3 posts created (10%)

28 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@radioactiveswampmonsters

@everythingeverywhereallatonce

@onereyofstarlight

@the-forest-of-talking-trees

@rhystheceo

I tagged 28 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#everything everywhere all at once - 8 posts

#euphoria - 4 posts

#cries in euphoria - 3 posts

#fleabag - 2 posts

#taylor swift - 2 posts

#midnights - 2 posts

#a beautifully foolish endeavor - 2 posts

#my post - 1 post

#i literally watched all of season 1 and two episodes of season 2 in one day - 1 post

#i mean 30 ish min episodes and a total of 12 - 1 post

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i took my time with this show and finished it on tuesday and then i spent most of thursday and some of friday and saturday binging it again

My Top Posts in 2022:

#3

See the full post

6 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#2

October 3rd, 2022

Briana and I went to Powell's on the first day of our trip. Being that Fairy Tale was just published September 6th, 2022 and it's by the Stephen King meant it was on ever end cap and right in front of our faces. With quite a bold rich blue color and a contrasting gold orange, it was easy for it to catch my attention. That day I could barely comprehend what the summary was, I didn't even really flip through the pages, I just knew I was intrigued. That day I did buy 3 other books, but couldn't keep my mind off Fairy Tale.

October 16th, 2022

Even though I tried to read my other books, I ended up buying the audiobook and started to listen. Seth Numrich's narration seriously blew me away.

It has felt really special to start something that feels truly like mine. A lot of what I consume are recs, from friends and family and the general internet. I always love it, but it's been thrilling to not have heard a single thing about this story and to truly have no idea where it would end up.

November 12th, 2022

I just completed Fairy Tale and I had a little cry and told a few people I finished it and decided to write this. I have a hardcover print version on the way. I'm excited to reread my favorite bits and look at the illustrations. I truly loved the world and characters that were created. Listening to a 24 hour audiobook sounded like a big task, especially since I'm not great at or consistent with reading at all, but somehow, Charlie's story swept me up and transported me. I can see how some may critique it for being long or slow or typical for a fairy tale, but that's what I found so charming about it. It was simple but complicated, it conveyed one's journey with themselves and others so well. To me it was full of twists and turns and was an ultimate escape. I also really feel like Fairy Tale connected me to so many things I love - stories that King intentionally referenced and not.

Somehow after the fact, I'm thinking about the bravery and courage of Harry Potter fighting the snake-like Voldemort, Charlie versus the Flight Killer. Radar had a Winn-Dixie feeling to her (or really name any important hound in film). A dog that touched the hearts of many. The Empisarians/the gray people's melted deformed features kind of reminded me of the horrors of Coraline. I expected King would get even darker or scarier but that's super okay it didn't go there. Even simply his name being Charlie, reminded me of Charlie in the Chocolate Factory- it's truly a name I've loved all my life. Giants and mermaids, animals that were too large and a cranky old man with secrets. Another world that you travel into thru a fairly normal appearance on the Earth side reminded me of Narnia.

Fairy Tale by Stephen King connected me back to the fantasy and wonder I've been needing again and for that, I say thank you and I highly recommend my new favorite book to anyone who is ready for an adventure of good and evil.

<3

Also keeping my eyes peeled for the movie that is already being talked about being produced!

This girl is feeling super sappy and mourning the end of Fairy Tale but also so happy that I was able to experience it and happy that I get to keep experiencing it in the future.

7 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Me when watching The Boys:

12 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[yan-senna]

Party at Malfoy Manor (SS, LM)

By yan-senna

Other links to the one shot: Wattpad / AO3

One shot schedule list

The Keeper of the Diamond series

Want to be tagged when I post a fanfic?

Introduction:

This is a one shot of The Keeper of the Diamond series. It contains Severus Snape x reader and Lucius Malfoy x reader. I only own Y/N, Laura, Vera and Lopsy the House Elf. The three girls are 19 years old.

The Malfoys are hosting a party at the Manor where Snape, Y/N and her friends, Laura and Vera, are invited.

I hope you enjoy!

PS: You can send requests!

Word count: 2.3k

Published: 11/14/2021

TW: Attempted murder and mentions of kidnapping

Y/N desperately looks around, trying to find something that looks familiar. She has somehow managed to get lost in the city she has been living in her whole life.

In the middle of the night.

Did she decide to go out once it was dark? No, it was daytime when she went out, trying to find a specific shop that sells second-hand items…

That was several hours ago. Now she can’t find her way home, and she has forgotten to bring her phone with her. Laura and Vera are probably worried.

While she tries to find a bus station, she hopes that she won’t meet any sketchy people… Not only did she forget her phone, but she also forgot the two diamonds. She’s defenceless out here.

As she passes a dark alley, somebody suddenly grabs her from behind.

She tries to scream and kick the person, but to no avail. Y/N starts to panic. What should she do?!

Another person grabs her and presses her against the wall. There are two of them?!

The person then leans close to her ear. “I did warn you that we would kidnap you if we didn’t hear from you for over a day” a silky voice whispers.

Y/N instantly relaxes. She could recognise that voice anywhere.

Another voice that Y/N recognises as well chuckles. “That you did, Severus” the voice says.

She then turns around. “Lumos” one of them mutters. Light comes out of their wand to reveal Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy.

Y/N sighs in relief. “You scared me…” she says, trying to steady her heartbeat.

Lucius gives an apologetic smile. “We are sorry, Y/N. We simply couldn’t help ourselves” he admits.

“Indeed. Now, what are you doing out here in the middle of the night?” Snape questions as he raises an eyebrow.

Y/N chuckles nervously. “Well, I got lost…” she confesses, looking embarrassed.

“Well, good thing that Lucius and I found you, huh? Your friends were quite worried, by the way” Snape states.

That surprises Y/N. “Did you talk with Laura and Vera?” she asks, looking a bit confused.

Both men nod. “Yes, we did. You see, we came to give you invitations - Cissy and I are hosting a party at the Manor this Saturday, and you three are invited, of course” Lucius says.

Y/N smiles. “I would love to! When should we come?” she questions, looking excited.

A party sounds fun, and she’s sure that it will be quite big and luxurious. It is the Malfoys after all.

“The party starts at eight in the evening. Do remember to wear a dress” Lucius states, looking serious.

He can’t have any of his guests wear casual clothing.

“Don’t worry, I have a few to choose from” she says as she giggles.

The two Slytherins then apparate her to her shared home with her friends and bid the three girls good night.

A few days later, it’s Saturday. Which means party time! The three girls are getting ready before they have to leave.

“Do you think it’s fine that it ends above the knees?” Y/N asks her friends, gesturing to her dark green dress.

They both nod. “I’m sure it’s fine, mine isn’t much longer either” Laura states, giving her friend a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, this is the longest one I have. If they kick us out, then I can watch the bike race tonight” Vera says, looking hopeful to watch the sport programme.

Laura and Y/N laugh at that.

“Well, shall we?” Y/N then asks her friends.

When they both nod, she grabs their hands as she uses the powers of the diamonds to teleport them to the Harry Potter dimension, right outside Malfoy Manor.

“I never noticed they had peacocks” Vera says, looking at the animals curiously.

“Dude, not just any peacocks - albino peacocks! Where in the world did they get them?” Laura questions, looking deep in thought.

Before the others can give a response, a house elf opens the front door.

“Welcome to Malfoy Manor. Lopsy is happy to see Ms. Y/L/N and friends. Master Malfoy is waiting” the house elf says, gesturing for them to enter the building.

“Thank you, Lopsy” Y/N says as she gives the elf a smile.

The three girls then enter the Manor. As they do so, they look at the place in awe. The Malfoys have surely used a lot of time preparing - the place looks amazing!

There’s soft music playing in the background as all the guests are talking with each other.

Y/N slowly starts to panic, though - they have invited A LOT of people.

Laura notices her friend’s trouble. “Hey, don’t worry, Y/N. We are here, so you won’t get lost in the ocean of people. Besides, I’m sure Lucius and Snape will let you cling to their arms all night” she says, smirking a bit. Vera laughs while Y/N blushes.

They then notice the snack table.

“Ooh, snacks! Do you want some, Y/N?” Vera offers.

Y/N shakes her head. “No, thank you. You guys can just go” she says, giving them a reassuring smile.

Her friends immediately storm off to the table, grabbing anything they want. She chuckles at them.

Suddenly, somebody taps her shoulder. When she turns around, she’s looking into onyx eyes.

“Hello, Y/N” Snape says as he greets her. He’s wearing a black suit.

He looks quite handsome - more handsome than usual.

He chuckles. “Well, I am glad you think so” he says as he smirks.

Her cheeks turn bright red - she didn’t think about him being a Legilimens.

She clears her throat. “Well, um… Where’s Lucius?” she shyly asks, trying to change the subject.

“He’s over there talking to some Pureblood friends. I couldn’t help but notice you weren’t comfortable - perhaps you would like to dance?” he asks hesitantly.

Y/N looks around. There are quite a lot of people dancing.

She then nods as she smiles. “I would love to” she replies.

Nodding, he takes out his hand for her to grab. She immediately does so as she gives it a gentle squeeze. He squeezes back. They then head to the dancing floor, surrounded by many others.

Snape puts one hand on her shoulder and another on her waist. She blushes at that while he smirks. She slowly puts both of her hands on his arms. They then start dancing.

“I’m sorry if I step on your toes… I can’t dance” she admits, looking embarrassed.

Snape shakes his head. “You are doing exquisite, no need to worry” he says.

As they are dancing, she rests her head on his chest. He lightly kisses the top of her head.

After they have danced for a while, Lucius approaches. “May I steal Y/N for a dance, Severus?” he asks his friend.

Snape nods. “Of course. I will be over there with Narcissa, Draco and your friends” he says as he looks at Y/N who nods.

Once he has left, Lucius smiles as he puts both his hands on her waist. Y/N once again blushes as she shyly smiles, putting both her hands on his arms.

As they start dancing, Lucius leans closer to her face. “I hope you are enjoying the party, Y/N. I’m so glad that you three could come” he says.

Y/N nods. “Yeah, I’m having a lot of fun. Thank you for inviting us” she says as she smiles.

“I apologise that I didn’t come earlier to greet you. You see, I had a… discussion with someone. I had to leave as he wouldn’t stop bickering” he says as he sighs.

Y/N looks at him, a bit worried. “I hope it wasn’t something serious?” she slowly asks.

Lucius shakes his head. “It should be under control” he simply says, giving a reassuring smile.

“Why don’t we join the others?” he then suggests.

As she nods, they both walk towards one of the tables. At the table, Snape, Narcissa, Draco, Laura and Vera are sitting as they eat their snacks. Lucius and Y/N join them.

“Oh, hello, you two. That dress suits you, Y/N. You look so pretty” Narcissa says, smiling at the girl.

Y/N smiles back. “Thank you, Narcissa. So do you, your dresses always look so beautiful on you” she says, praising the woman’s looks.

Lucius hums. “If you are done hitting on my wife, darling, then why don’t you tell me what snack you would like?” he asks her teasingly.

Narcissa chuckles while Y/N’s cheeks turn redder than a tomato.

Snape rolls his eyes while Laura snorts and Vera almost chokes on her drink from laughter.

Draco doesn’t even seem to have registered the words, the boy looks like he’s on another planet.

“Um… Crisps, please” she says, hoping to let her burning cheeks calm down a bit.

Nodding, Lucius levitates a bowl of crisps in front of her.

“Here you go, Y/N” he says, chuckling a bit as her face is still flustered. Giving a shy smile, Y/N starts eating her snack.

As they all talk while enjoying their drink and snacks, Draco rises from his seat. “I’ll go and find Crabbe and Goyle. I need to make sure they aren’t eating all of our food” he says as he sighs.

Before he can take another step, his mother stops him.

“Draco, you need to fix your tie!” she says, scolding him for his carelessness. She then fixes it for him.

“Mother!” the boy exclaims as he rolls his eyes. She just chuckles at him.

“There you go, all set” she says once the tie is up to her standards.

Sighing in relief, the boy leaves the table.

Laura then sighs. “Aw man, no more cookies” she says, looking disappointed.

Y/N chuckles at her. “Don’t worry about that, I can bring some more for you. Would anyone else like something?” she asks.

As they all shake their heads, the girl rises from her seat and walks towards the snack table.

Just as she does so, somebody stops her. “So you are the Keeper of the Diamond, huh?” the man questions, giving her a judgemental look.

Y/N nods. “Yeah, that’s correct” she politely says.

He then huffs. “You and your friends… Muggles, aren’t you?” he asks in a disgusted tone.

Y/N widens her eyes a bit. He must be the guy that Lucius discussed something with.

“Well… Yes, we are” she admits, not wanting to lie.

He laughs at that in disbelief. “I cannot believe Lucius let you three in here… I do not know what has gotten into him. When the Dark Lord was here, he had morals” he says, wrinkling his nose.

Feeling uncomfortable, Y/N tries to get away. The man is not having any of that.

“Muggles, always so rude. We are not done with this conversation” he says, looking irritated.

He then retrieves his wand.

“I could do it - kill you right here. Your kind disgusts me. You might be the Keeper, but you are still a Muggle” he says with disgust, pressing his wand on her throat.

Y/N starts to panic - is he really going to kill her?

“Avada Ke-“ he says just before he’s thrown onto the floor. He groans in pain.

Y/N looks at her saviour - Lucius.

Snape is right behind him, ready with his wand. He looks absolutely furious, so does Lucius.

“How dare you try to attack her! One word and Severus will make sure you feel pain” he says through gritted teeth.

“You are no longer welcome here. Leave this instant!” he demands as he points a finger towards the exit.

The man huffs as he rises up from the floor. “With pleasure. I cannot believe you are associating with Muggles, Lucius. You used to know better” he states as he glares at him. He then leaves the Manor.

Lucius sighs in frustration, his face however softens when he looks at Y/N.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” he asks as he gently puts a hand on her shoulder. The girl slowly nods, still recovering from the shock.

Snape walks closer to them as he grabs her hands in his. “Why don’t we go outside and get some fresh air?” he suggests.

“Good idea, Severus” Lucius says, agreeing with his friend.

As he gives his wife a reassuring nod, the three of them leave outside the back of the building and walk through the garden as they admire the black sky full of stars.

They then stop when someone, or rather something, blocks their path.

Lucius chuckles. “Well, wandering off alone, huh?” he asks the peacock which tilts its head at him.

Y/N smiles. “He’s really cute” she says, admiring the animal.

“Yes, he is. You can pet him if you want to” Lucius says, gently pushing her closer to the albino peacock. It looks at her curiously.

Hesitating a bit, she slowly reaches out to touch it. As it doesn’t avoid her hand, she starts petting it. It seems to enjoy it.

Once she tries to retrieve her hand, the peacock gently pokes her shoulder with its beak, demanding that she keeps petting it. She giggles at that as she grants its wish and continues to pet it.

Snape and Lucius admire her, both chuckling as the peacock keeps demanding her to pet it.

“He won’t let her go home, huh?” Snape asks, looking amused.

Lucius chuckles as he nods. “He won’t. I guess the girls will have to stay the night” he states.

And he’s right - the three girls decide to sleep at Malfoy Manor for a few days.

Everybody had fun at the party - and the peacock enjoyed the attention.

Author’s note:

If you liked this, then you might also like Holiday to Japan with the Malfoys (SS, LM)!

Taglist:

@narcissasbrat

@severuslovebot

@nickangel13

[natures-marvel]

Trust me when I saw this, I simply went :

I SHORT CIRCUITED BECAUSE THIS IS SO GOOD??? 😭 I AM SNIFFLING, I LOVE THIS, LOVE THIS SO SO SO MUCH!!!!

The gifs, omg!!!

THE BOAT(TM)!!!! I REPEAT THE BOAT IS HERE!!!!

The second gif, holy fucking shit!!! That fire AND that hand holding symbolising their passion, THE DALI MASK!!!!

The last one is mind blowing!! That lil moving gif of Martín blends SO WELL with Andres'!! True soulmate stuff right there!

Also Sergio being here is a very unexpected but an adorable addition! 🥰

ALL IN ALL, FIND ME IN A CORNER SOBBING!!! 😭 This is so gorgeous! I want to continue looking at this for the rest of my life!!!

Also, I am gonna tag everyone and their dog because EVERYONE needs to see this masterpiece made by a genius and a dear friend of mine who loved my longest and my most cherished SO MUCH he did this for me! 🥺

In fact, I am honoured to say the only one who likes this fic more than me is him! Thank you so much for this Max! Words aren't enough to express how grateful I am for this!

@delirious-and-slightly-murderous @dormarunt @lavandulacosmos @veterveter @signorin-anarchia @maraudersbitchesassemble @roccinan @nharidy @puduhegepa @issamemarioo

Hold on to the pen drive like your life depends on it and don't trust anyone. Dalí.

The Fatal Drive by @natures-marvel

[alirhi]

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

[adezahnae]

Little Song Bird (Part 4)

A/N: Part 4 is now here!!! This is the final part of this mini series😭 I don’t know about this Mini Series, I thought it wasn’t really that good or if I didn’t put enough effort into it, but its okay! enjoyyyy😊😭

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Warnings: Smut, angst, masturbation, sex recording, rough sex, dirty talk, choking, just dirty again XD

Tagged People: @supernovapluto

Taeyong’s POV

Why can’t I get Y/n out of my mind? The moment she told me she wanted me yesterday, I couldn’t resist. I just want to slam her against the wall and pound into her like no tomorrow...The moment I have her, legs open, wet for me- “Mr. Lee?” I heard a voice say. I snapped out of my thoughts and seen one of my female students. I rolled my eyes, Yasmine. “Yes?” I replied. She leaned over my piano, putting her chest on display.

“Can you change my role?” She asked. “To what?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “To main singer.” She said. I sighed and continued to play. “No.” I replied. She pouted. “But Mr. Lee, why? I’ve done a good job.” She whined. “By your voice cracking? How is that a good job, Yasmine?” I asked. She walked around the piano and placed her hands on my shoulders. “But..I thought I made up for it though...” She whispered. I sighed. “Really?” I questioned. “Mhm...” she replied. “Do you think sucking my dick and sending two videos of you touching yourself is really gonna make me replace Y/n with you?” I asked getting up.

I turned around and placed my hand on her chin, getting close to her face. “I don’t replace golden girls for sluts like you.” I whispered as I was hovering over her lips. She gulped. “I thought you loved me...” She mumbled. I lightly chuckled. “Wow...you are reallyy naive.” I said. I heard a gasp coming from the door. I looked over to see that it was Y/n. “Hello my Song Bird.” I said. She stumbled back. “I-I came for my lesson but I must’ve came at a wrong time..s-sorry..” She mumbled. Why is she so cute?

“No you came at a right time, come here.” I said pulling away from Yasmine. “And you. You can leave.” I said to her. Yasmine scoffed and left the room. I walked over to Y/n and kissed her on the lips. She pushed me away and didn’t look at me.

“What was she doing here?” She mumbled. “It’s unimportant. right now, it’s you and me Kitty..” I said. “I don’t care..Why was she here and why were you-“ “Touching her?” I finished for her. “Y-Yeah..” She mumbled. Awwww she’s jealous. I walked up to her and caressed her check. “Is my Kitty jealous because I was touching another girl?” I asked her with a little laugh.

She rolled her eyes and pushed me away again. “Stop calling me that. I’m done. I’ll just go.” She said. Okay, now she’s pissed me off. I grabbed her by her arm and yanked her back towards me. I gripped her chin harshly. “Kitty. You came here because I told you to. You are my main singer and you will finish out the part weather you like it or not. Don’t make your teacher angry Kitty..” I whispered. She scowled and looked away. “You don’t scare me..” She mumbled. “I don’t?” I asked with a raise of an eyebrow. I deeply chuckled and leaned down to her ear.

“We’ll see about that...” I whispered. I pulled away from her and pulled her to the piano bench and sat her on it. I pulled out my phone. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Touch yourself.” I told her. “What?!”

Your POV

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Don’t make me tell you again, Kitty. Do it.” He growled. I suddenly felt shy. He was recording me. “I-I...” I mumbled. “You’re shy aren’t you? This is your next lesson and also the main lesson. You will have so many people watching you and recording you. What’s the point of being a singer when you have stage fright?” He explained. I sighed and nodded. “Yes Mr. Lee...” I said. “Good girl...now go ahead. Touch yourself. Let Mr. Lee see how much of a performer you can be..” He mumbled.

I slowly opened my legs and rubbed my heat though my underwear. I pushed my hand inside and felt myself completely, without a barrier. I looked away from the camera and whimpered. “Mm mm, look at me Kitty.” He ordered. I turned to his direction and looked at the camera. “Good Good girl..” He praised. I slipped in two of my own fingers and let out a soft moan. I sped my pace up and moaned louder. I see him bite his lip and smirk.

“Let me see how wet you are baby..” He whispered getting closer. He moved my underwear out of the way and recorded my slick fingers going in and out of my dripping heat. He pulled them all the way down my legs and watched me more. He placed spit on his fingers and rubbed my clit.

I groaned and whined out as I was getting closer. “Are you close?” He asked. I nodded my head. “U-Uh H-Huh!” I replied. “Look at the camera. Be a dirty little Kitty and show your face when you cum.” He whispered. I did so and came all over our fingers. He took his fingers and sucked on them.

“Get up.” He ordered. I got up off the bench and waited for the next order. He led me to his desk and sat up his phone. He got behind me and bent me over the desk. He landed a strong hit on my butt making me jerk forward and whine. “You bad bad Kitty..getting angry with me and pushing me.” He whispered in my ear. “You need to be punished...” He dropped his pants and boxers and rubbed the head of his member against me.

I wiggled my butt back, desperately wanting to feel him in me. It’s what if waited for for the longest..I want him so badly..he spanked me, making me cry out. “Don’t be impatient. You know I hate that.” He growled. I gulped and nodded my head. “Yes sir..” I said. He finally pushed in me.

I cried out and gripped the desk. He felt soo good..so big and hard..he was what I imagined. He groaned out. He sounded so angelic. He gripped my hair and pulled me up. “Look at yourself while I fuck you senseless..” He growled. I looked at myself in the camera and moaned at my appearance. He stared back at me while kissing my shoulder.

He started to move his hips, snapping in and out of me. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and smiled at the feeling. I looked back at the camera and seen Mr. Lee’s eyes closed and his face scrunched in pleasure and focus. “You feel so good around me..way too good.” He whispered as he opened his eyes again. I whimpered and clenched around him some more. I groaned and smacked my butt. “Yess..Fuck yesss Kitty...” He whispered. He locked eyes with mine and wrapped his hand around my neck. I gasped. “Yes Mr. Lee!” I squeaked. He smirked and bit on my ear. “You like that?” He asked me. I nodded. His hand got tighter around my neck. “Use your damn words..” He growled.

“Yes! Yes sir! Please don’t stop!” I cried. He smirked. “That’s my good little song bird.. sing for me..sing for your teacher.” He whispered. I whined out some more. I felt my high reaching. “Mr. Lee! Mr. Lee! M-Mr. Lee!!” I chanted like a mantra. He felt me getting closer and he pounded harder. “Yes, say my name..sing out my fucking name..” He growled. His high was approaching close as well. I felt him twitch and he groans. “When you cum, sing out your highest note..just like I taught you.” He said breathlessly.

I felt my orgasm tear through my body and I screamed. He groaned and came after me. Yes..I wanted to feel his load in me as well...He bit down on my shoulder and slowly pulled out of me. I whimpered at the loss of the feeling and sat up a little. He took his phone and stopped the recording. He smiled at me. “You did wonderful, Kitty...” He said. I smiled back weakly and tried to move. He stopped me and took a tissue. He wiped me clean and landed a kiss on my butt. I took my underwear and pulled them back on.

He gave me a piece of paper. “What is this?” I asked. “My place arrangement for the song. You will be in charge on who will be with who.” He said. “What? I’m in charge of the arrangement?” I asked. “That’s also the main singer’s job. You hold all the power..” He said. “Why can’t you do it? What if anyone doesn’t listen to me?” I asked grabbing my stuff. “I won’t be there. Besides they’ll listen.” He said simply.

I pouted. “You’re not gonna be there to watch me?” I asked. He smiled and kissed my forehead. “It’s okay sweetheart. You’ll do great.” He said. He walked to the door. “Mr. Lee! Wait!” I said. He turned around. “So...you’re done with me?” I asked. He sighed. “I’ll see you around, Y/n.” He smiled. He walked out the door, leaving me in the room alone...

“Okay is everyone in place?” I asked. Everyone nods, getting ready. One girl was leaving the bench and going off the stage. “Where are you going?” I asked. “You aren’t the boss of me, I can go where I want.” She said. I went silent but I thought of Mr. Lee’s words. ‘Tell them who taught you..they’ll listen.’ I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Well if you don’t know, I am the boss of you, Mr. Lee put me in charge. Were you taught by Mr. Lee?” I asked “Yes!”“Personally?” I finished sternly. Her mouth was now closed. “Now get in your place.” I said pointing in her spot. She did so and bowed. “I’m sorry..” She said. I hummed and turned around.

Wow..thank you Mr. Lee. The lights were dimmed and the crew was rolling up the curtains. Soon, the spotlight was on me and the others. I heard the song being played and I started to sing. As I was singing I remember each lesson that he taught me. I hit the high note in the song mid way that was lesson one, pitch. I watched people’s reactions from looking in their eyes, lesson two, eye contact. I heard others speaking and whispering, lesson three, focus. Lastly, I watched everyone’s cameras as they watched me, lesson four, confidence.

The song was now done, and the crowd cheered and clapped. I bowed and smiled at the crowd. I waved while looking around. My eyes suddenly went to the back of the room. I spotted Mr. Lee. He was clapping and smirking. “I would now like to invite one of the best musical artists of all time, Mr. Lee Taeyong!” The host said. I gasped and seen Mr. Lee approaching the stage.

He walked up and grabbed the mic. “Thank you everyone for coming to my show. I’m glad you all enjoyed one of my best students.” He said looking over at me. The crowd clapped. “Good job Kitty..” He mouthed. I nodded. He was a musical artist?! I HAD SEX WITH A MUSICAL ARTIST?!?

I was picking up all my things and felt someone behind me. I turned around and seen Mr. Lee. “Hello my little song bird.” He smiled. “H-Hi.” I said. “Aww, what’s wrong?” He asked. “You’re a famous artist?” I asked. “Under the name of Taeyong, yes.” He said. “I...I...” I mumbled.

“What? Is it because you were taught by a famous artist or you that you had sex with one?” He asked with a chuckle. “B-Both..” I mumbled. He walked up to me and kissed me on the lips. “I got you something..” He said. “What?” I asked. He pulled out a piece of paper and gave it to me.

I took and read over it. I gasped and covered my mouth. I can’t believe I got “A contract?!” He smiled and nod. “You will work with me at my company.” He said. I squealed and gave him a hug. “T-Thank you!” I cried. He hugged me back. “Let’s go, you’re moving with me.” He said. “Moving? Where?” I asked. “My place in Seoul. I’m taking you home.” He said. “But what about my life here? Why me, actually?” I asked. “I’ve known you before you even introduced yourself. I knew you were special, the moment I laid eyes on you.” He said. “Why the sex though?” I asked. He chuckled. “That was on you. Your writing really spoke to me.” I blushed and looked away.

He picked up my bag and held it out to me. “I want to make you a star, along with me..I want you to be with me..let me take you home..” He said. I smiled and grabbed my bag. I took his hand and we walked out of the door to his car. I got in and we drove to my place to get my clothes.

[nyxocity]

Fic Writer Questions!

Thanks to @redmyeyes for the tag!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

82, although that's not even close to my actual total. There's a bunch on LJ that have never been transferred (all shorter works)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,780,805 (over 2mil on LJ)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Mostly three, plus a couple dips into a few other pools. X-Men Comic Book fandom, Buffy & Angel fandom (they kinda count as one since it's the same universe), and Supernatural & SPN RPF. Dips have included Dragon Age, Firefly, a tiny bit of TVD, a Sons of Anarchy crossover.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is tough if I go by numbering. Homework Verse has the most kudos scattered across all parts, but Stranger Than Fiction has the most as a single story. Anyway...

Homework Verse (J2 RPF, 200k+ words) - My very first RPF fic, Supernatural or otherwise. Two of my online fandom friends basically TOLD me I was going to write Teacher/Student J2, and I kept protesting that I drew the line at RPF. They didn't care. 200k later, here we are. This story was a game changer for me; it made me fandom famous. I still love those boys with my whole heart, and they still talk to me sometimes.

Stranger Than Fiction (Sam/Dean, 50644 words) - This story idea took root immediately following the episode The Monster at the End of This Book. I quit the Big Bang I'd already begun writing for that year (which was Who Watches Over Me, which I finished and posted for BB the following year) to write this story. It just took hold hold of me and took over. I wrote it in 6 weeks and it was easily the most fun I ever had writing anything--I cackled like a madwoman most of the time.

Who Watches Over Me (J2 RPF, 96591 words) - This story was, at the time, the toughest thing I'd ever written. Little did I know that would become the norm and not the exception, as I began to write more complex stories. It was by far the longest story I had ever posted all at once in its entirety (rather than chapter by chapter) and I had no idea if people would like it. Fortunately a lot of people did.

Like Staring Into the Sun (Sam/Dean, 23243 words) - Ah, my very first hardcore Wincest fic. I remember writing the first chapter of the story (meant to be a one shot honestly), and just sitting there, at 5am, being terrified to post it. It was twisted, dark and intense and SO porny I was scared people might think I was weird. There wasn't anything like it out there at the time. As it turns out, people loved it so much I ended up writing eight more parts.

Like a Fish Out of Water (Sam/Dean, 59498 words) - I have a lot of love for this story. It didn't come to me easily, but it was fun to write. I remember smiling a lot and just having a nice, warm cozy feeling the whole time. I had no idea if anyone was interested in reading this many words of what amounted to a dramedy curtain fic

Of course there are other stories that I feel deserve love, but I can't argue with these.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do. And by that, I mean I try. I don't always succeed in answering them all, but I answer as many as I have time and energy for. Life is busy and there is writing to do as well. I read every comment I get (multiple times) and I feel guilty for all the ones I don't answer, because they mean SO MUCH TO ME. Like you took time to leave this beautiful, well thought out comment, or even a keysmash, or a heart, in response to something I wrote. That means the world.

I WISH there was a reaction function for comments on Ao3, so I could heart things, or laugh in response. Replying with emojis without words feels weird. So yeah, a reaction function would be amazing. But in the meantime, I do my best.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. Probably A Touch of Evil. Interestingly, it's also a HAPPY ending, so there you go lol. It's a serial killer love story with a happy ending that comes at an exorbitant price.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not sure why the OG post skips from 6 to 8 lol . So, yes, I have written a few minors crossovers. Mostly Faith in the SPN verse with the boys, nothing too crazy, because she fits right in. But for long stories, I have written all of ONE crossover. It's Dean Winchester/Jax Teller (SPN / Sons of Anarchy). My crossovers so far have tended to make sense to crossover, so I don't think any of them are crazy.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got some hate on a Buffy/Xander fic back in the day. I got really excited and had fun with it. Like yeah, now I'm SOMEBODY! You're no one til someone hates you lol Most of that was people who were haters of the ship, or were like, gross, they're like brother and sister (they weren't, they were FRIENDS). I've gotten nasty comments here and there on some of my SPN fic. My favorite was the person who accused me of having a "Top Dean Agenda". I STILL laugh about that one. I don't respond to that crap.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Have you MET ME? LOL If I ever post a story without smut just put me out to pasture, because I'm done. And all kinds. Het, Gay, PWP, Plotty porn, mostly super kinky but some vanilla (but intense). I used to challenge myself regularly to see if I could up my kink game--like hmm, but could I write THIS? I haven't written really kinky sex in a long time, though. Might be time to do that.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Several times. Who Watches Over me was stolen by someone and converted to One Direction Lourry fic. Literally just did a name change. Someone else stole a bunch of my one shots and passed them off as their own. I know there were a couple other instances but I only vaguely remember. I never got too deep into it, most of the time the people who discovered the theft already told everyone else too, and the plagiarist had been hammered by them so hard that I didn't have to step in before they took it down.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I used to get requests so often that I just posted my usual response in my profile for people to read instead of replying. Definitely into Russian and Chinese for most of the stories listed with most kudos above.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A few times on one shot fics. SO MUCH FUN. I love co-writing with people.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Sam/Dean. Easily. Hands down. I just love their unique relationship, bond and love so much.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Well I finally finished A Touch of Evil after posting 3 chapters in 2009 and never touching it again until 2017. And I never thought I'd finish that. So never say never, I say. That said, there's the third and final part of my X-Men comic book epic that remains unfinished by about five (shorter) chapters, and it HAUNTS ME. But I don't think I'll ever finish it.

16) What are your writing strengths?

NOW we get to the hard questions. I'm really good at dialogue, bouncing banter back and forth between characters, and I have a sense for how long a scene should be. I just KNOW when it's going on too long, even if there's more that needs to be said, and I try to tighten it up in that case.

A friend of mine once told me "Porn is my gift". I don't write as much of it as I used to, but yeah, I shine in that area.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

So I always reach a point after writing so many words in an unpublished fic where I'm like, I have no idea if this is even any good/makes sense/hangs together etc. Beyond that, I've been writing for so long that I've had so much practice that I've strengthened a lot of my weaknesses. I'm sure I still have some, but I don't FEEL them like I used to anymore. That said, there are things I simply will not write. Like historical pieces. Because I would research the fuck out of every detail trying to get it perfect and then I would still doubt myself completely.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I mostly try to avoid it, because there's no way I would ever get the language correct. I usually write it in English and then explain that they're saying it in another language. Like, "What are you doing?" the man asks, speaking in Chinese. Then reiterate in the continuing dialogue in various ways that they're speaking in Chinese.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

X-Men Comic Book fandom. I was reading a lot of Remy/Rogue fic back in 1996-1997, and one day I was like, you know what? This person did a pretty good job on this story. It's not great, but it's pretty good, and if they can have the guts to put it out there, then I can do it, too.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is a tough question. I don't love all my children equally, but I love them all a lot in different ways lol

Remembering favorite is different than which one I think is BEST... Homework Verse is probably my favorite. I was learning so much about writing then, I was really growing, and discovering, and pushing my limits. Those characters lived and breathed in me, I swear they spoke through me from some alternate universe. They feel so REAL to me. There's so much of what I've learned in life in that story, like really, big, life changing ideas and understandings that happened to me that I put into that story. There's so much of me in that story, and yet there's so much of THEM, too. It's their story, but it's also mine. It's raw and not entirely perfect and it feels like home to me.

--

So that's it, that's my piece. I feel like EVERYONE has been tagged since it took me 3 days to have time to do this, but I'm basically tagging any of you writers out there who haven't done this yet!

[wayward-mikaelson]

I Still Want You, I Still Need You-II. Wakanda

Word Count: 1692

About: You, Steve and Bucky are in Wakanda

Characters: Bucky, Steve, T’Challa, Tony (Mentioned), Okoye (Mentioned), Shuri (Mentioned)

Pairing: None

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, Mention of old Injury

A/N: I am loving the response to this so far!! It’s giving me such motivation to continue writing. I hope you enjoy this part.

*This contains content for the 18 and up crowd. Read at your own discretion

**Please do not copy and paste my work anywhere. Reblogs and sharing the link is fine

***This work is also posted on Wattpad and Archive Of Our Own. Links can be found in the pinned post on my profile.

****Go follow my other accounts. Links can be found in the pinned post on my profile

*****Currently NOT taking any requests.

******Feedback is welcomed!

Forever Tags: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Marvel Tags: OPEN

Bucky/Sebastian Tags: OPEN 

Story Tags: @cspr-2 @mysticalfestivalkoala @tanyaherondale @lilithknight1111 @lpzallana @snlsamantha @tomisagod @gloriouspersonbanditrascal 

Masterlist

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I. Civil War

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You were alone with your thoughts again. On any other given day you wouldn’t mind the alone time and time you got to think about things. This wasn’t one of them. You thought too deeply about Tony blasting you back and hurting you. Part of you couldn’t blame him, he was hurt and wasn’t thinking straight. But yet, it still happened. Letting a hand wander to your newly healed wound, all you felt was smooth skin. It felt like new. Like nothing punctured it a day before. There wasn’t even a scar.

There was a light tap on the door to the small, little room you occupied. “Y/N,” it was Steve. “Can I come in?”

You dropped your knee from your chest and crossed the room. Opening the door, you let Steve in. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he turned and you noticed he had gotten himself cleaned up and had on fresh clothes. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh,” was all the left your lips. Your heart began to race as you watched Steve walk to the bed and put his arms on his legs while folding his hands. “Oh,” you repeated again. It was serious.

“I think you should go back home,” Steve said after a moment.

You scoffed and then laughed. “You’ve got to joking…” But the look on Steve’s face told you he wasn’t. “I…I…I can’t Steve. You heard Tony. I don’t have a home anymore.”

Steve stared at you with those blue eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed too. “It’s Tony, Y/N,” He sat up and gestured a hand towards you. “You can talk some sense into him. He can pull strings to get you home. You don’t need to live this life. You’ve done your part.”

You took in a deep breath and walked over to Steve and sat next to him. You put a hand on his leg and looked at him. “You’re right I could, but I can’t. By now my name and face could be on every kind of Top Ten Most Wanted Lists around the world. Even if Tony tried to convince them to not do that.”

Steve nodded. “I guess you’re right. I have something for you,” he reached into this pocket and pulled out a small, black flip phone. You opened your mouth to protest. “Just hear me out.”

“Okay,” you threw your hands up in defeat.

“This could be the last time we see each other for a long time, so,” Steve puts the phone into your hand. It’s so small compared to your giant thin one. Gosh when was the last time you held a flip phone like that? You just knew it was a long time. “If you need anything, my number is there. If you can’t get ahold of me, Tony’s number is there.” He must have seen your confused face. “I sent him a phone with your number and mine in it.”

“Thank you,” you didn’t know what else to say. “Um,” you were quick to change the subject. “How’s Bucky doing?”

After the events in Serbia, T’Challa stopped you guys before boarding the quinjet. He apologized for his part in all that happened. He even offered to take you guys back to his home land, Wakanda, to help with Bucky and yours wounds. Steve jumped onto that and now here you all are.

In Wakanda.

Hidden from the world.

Which gave you an idea.

“Bucky’s doing fine,” Steve stood. “They were able to get the rest of the metal arm off him. I was going to see him after giving you that phone. Do you want to come?”

“Yeah,” you stood up faster than you expected and tripped over your own feet. Steve caught you before you could knock you head on the small table. “I promise I’m fine. What’s her face, Sherrie…no…Shuri, was able to clean out the infection.”

You recalled the moments on the quinjet when you realized something wasn’t right with you. Your wound still hadn’t stopped bleeding and you were becoming dizzy and tired. When you lifted your shirt up to get a better look at your wound, you saw pus and green surrounding the area. The metal that had stabbed through you must have been rusted. You tried to keep yourself together. Steve was flying the quinjet. Bucky was passed out on the ground. Once the quinjet landed, you barely made it off before collapsing to your knees. You remembered Steve rushing to you side before you blacked out.

Steve and you walked the halls towards the lab where Bucky was in. You hadn’t seen him since you passed you and you were somewhat anxious to see him. The first time you encountered Bucky, it was while you were working with SHEILD. Steve had convinced you and Natasha that Hydra was working within SHEILD. Then he shot you and Natasha.

At first you wanted to kill him until Steve told you who he was. Ever since you had a soft spot for the super solider. Seeing him again for the first time at that airport, something fluttered inside you. There was something about him that you got off him as sweet and caring. That’s when you knew he was innocent and your instincts were just about always right.

The two of you entered the lab and saw Bucky sitting on a bed. He was in loose pants and white tank top. A black covering was over what was left of his left arm. Again, you felt that feeling of sadness wash over you. Hydra did a number on him.

“Hey, hows it going?” Steve said as the two of you approached Bucky.

Bucky looked up and you noticed his face looked worn and defeated. The look in his eyes told you he was just completely done. You wanted to reach out and hug him until his blue eyes met with your Y/E/C. Soon, that look of defeat was erased. He gave you a smile with both his lips and eyes. You returned the gesture and felt your cheeks burn.

“I’m doing alright,” Bucky said softly.

“That’s good,” your smile only got bigger.

“How are you? Steve told me that you were hurt and passed out,” there was a hint of concern in Bucky’s voice. It just about made your heart melt.

“Yeah, I’m all good, now.”

Steve cleared his throat and both you and Bucky looked at him. “Buck,” Steve sounded serious. Why was he serious all the time? “Are you sure about this?”

You held up a hand and let the smile on your face fade. “Sure about what?” You asked.

“I’m going back under,” Bucky told you gently. He saw you tilt your head in confusion. “In the cryo.”

“What?” You asked. “You mean back on ice? Why?”

Bucky took in a deep breath. “Until they can figure out how to undo what Hydra did to me, I don’t trust my own mind.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and let a smile confused smile spread over your face. “But Steve and I trust you.”

Bucky look at you. Those blue eyes pierced right through to your heart. You turned to Steve to say something but he just simply shook his head. You turned back to Bucky. “People have gotten arrested and hurt because of me. I have to.”

You straightened your body and put your hands on your hips. “Well then,” you smirked. “I will be here when they thaw you out.”

Bucky looked at Steve and the two shared a smile. “You’re right, she does remind me of Howard.”

You watched as they strapped Bucky into the cryo. Apart of you ached. Another part of you wanted to find the remainder of Hydra and put an end to it all. The sane part of your brain told you to let it go.

When you were sure the Bucky was under, you joined Steve and T’Challa at the window. They were talking.

“You know,” Steve was saying. “Once they know he’s here, they will come for him.”

“Don’t you worry,” T’Challa smiled while looking out into the distance. “We’ll be ready.”

“Me too,” you chimed in. “If that’s okay with you, Your Highness.” You turned to T’Challa.  “I’m also sorry for shocking you with an arrow.”

Steve turned to you. “You’re serious about staying here, are you?”

You smiled. “Like I said, I don’t have a home.”

“Y/N, you can stay here as long as you like,” T’Challa smiled towards you. “You are also forgiven for that arrow too.”

You and Steve walked to the front of the building. Steve said he had to leave an attend to some business. When you asked what it was, Steve just said it was better that you didn’t know. You let it go. Maybe you’ll learn later what Steve was up to.

“You’ll be good here?” Steve asked before boarding the quinjet.

You smiled. “I’ll be fine here. Promise me something though?” Steve stood there with his hands on his hips. “Once a month. Check in. Otherwise I’m leaving this place to find and save your sorry ass.”

Steve broke into a smile. “I will hold you to that and I promise.”

You found yourself throwing your arms around Steve. “Please don’t die, I miss you too much already.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

You watched as one of your longest and oldest friends walk away and onto the stolen aircraft. Your heart ached some because you knew deep down that this was the last time you were gong to see him for a really long time. You recalled all the good times you had with him to the moments where you had each others backs.

You turned to see T’Challa standing there with his hands behind his back. A very unreadable look on his face. “Your Highness,” you crossed your arms. “Where do we begin?”

T’Challa cracked a smile and motioned you to follow him. “First, I will have Okoye show you to you living quarters. Then,” he placed a firm hand on your shoulder. “We will talk about Mister Barnes recovery process.”

“Perfect.”

And for the time being it was perfect.

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[nemycchi]

Delusion

A Childe X Lumine Fanfiction

Rating : Not Rated

Tags : Psychological, Mild Angst, Character Death

----

During moments of utter silence, Childe recalls that which Lumine once told him about a book she had read from a far away land. 

"It is of utmost importance that those who seek to fight monsters must not become one in the process." 

He likes to think that perhaps, by mentioning it, she had once hoped that he would be reminded of his main aspiration—to conquer the world that is, and not to simply bathe in the blood of his enemies. 

It has its merits, he admits—for he finds himself fighting alongside her during the turning point of the war, the darkness in him dampened by the white light she emits—cleansing the corruption that has resided in him for the longest time. 

This too though, reminds him of another of her words. 

"The deep dark abyss—stare for too long and it would stare back to those who dare." 

It is true, for he knows that ever since he dropped down that hole in the world, he emerged as a monster that is only tamed by bloodshed. 

And from the moment he knew Lumine, perhaps by her as well. 

He has always carried a portion of that so-called abyss, feeling its vines wrapping inside his very being. He is a monster, that much is true, but tamed as one can be, he became a tool under her commands. 

He does not care, for it is times with her when the whispers of the dark become muted—turned into nothing but echoes of the past. 

"Childe? Breakfast?" 

The man spies her slender form by the doorframe of his bedroom, sees her domestically ushering his sleepy person into the kitchen and he feels as though he had achieved that which he desires, with her by his side. 

To conquer the world. 

They did. They won. And it was all that he could ask for. 

Celestia is no more. The abyss is no more. It is just him, Lumine and the rest of the world. 

He smiles as he sits down at the table, reaching for her hand as she places the bowl of steaming Calla Lily Seafood Soup before him. 

"Oh, my favorite. What's the occasion, girlie?"

"Mhm, nothing in particular. Just wanted to cook something special for you." she smiles back and he thinks he saw the glimmer of stars beyond her eyes. 

Or perhaps it was nothing but an illusion, masking the deeper end of the void he is familiar with—if such end even existed. 

Childe shakes his head for he believes that that is not the case. Lumine is here with him. And the abyss is no more. It is no more. 

And if the calling of that dark bud inside him grows too strong anyhow, he knows she is here to defeat it for him. 

For she is also perhaps a monster in her own rights. 

 

--☆☆☆--

 

The bags under his eyes, and the haunted looks in his face tell everyone that he is far from recovered but everytime someone comes to ask him how he is faring, he will do nothing but face them with a smile before answering. 

"I'm very much fine! Lumine takes good care of me." 

If there were curious glances sent his way, he does not care. They must be seething inside—jealous that it was him who conquered her heart by the end of it all. 

The savior and the reformed harbinger.

What a perfect love story—great as a tale to pass down from generations to generations. He sighs at the thought. 

"Childe, pardon my query but I must ask—how have you truly been?" 

He already lost count of how many times the same question had been asked of him. 

He stops walking—to face the former Geo Archon a few steps behind. 

"I do not understand why everyone keeps on asking the same question. I already told you i'm fine, didn't I?" 

Oh how he hates it when they ask—as if they were doubting his princess' ability to care for him, for it was her who has been on his bed, in his kitchen, in his very house ever since the world achieved true peace. 

They do not understand just how capable Lumine is. 

And they will never know, if he has anything to say. 

"Though we are but friends, I must express my deep concern. The dips on your cheeks beg to differ from that which you uttered." 

The blue in his eyes shift into something malicious, to that belonging to the beast he keeps inside. 

"With all due respect, Mr. Zhongli. I do not appreciate the implications of what you just said. You asked and I answered." He pauses. 

The abyss is no more for Lumine is with him. 

"I shall be going now. My wife is waiting for me at home." 

As he walks away, he ignores the burning gaze on his back. It's fine. That former god does not matter. 

What matters is him and Lumine while the rest of the world could go crash and burn, he thinks. 

 

--☆☆☆--

 

"Tough day at work?" 

Childe sidles up to her side, wrapping an arm around the apron-covered waist of his beloved. He kisses her temple with reverence—for it is what she deserves. 

"Not really. It was just Mr. Zhongli. And others. Being annoyingly repetitive as always." He grumbles, tucking her head under his chin. 

The small hand resting atop his chest tightens against his clothes. 

"Do they... not approve of me?" She asks almost inaudibly. 

He was quick to deny the preposterous thought. 

"Don't listen to them. They do not matter, girlie." 

Childe feels her shift and he looks down at her. 

Golden pools decorated by the glittering of stars—of tears, he realizes, meet his abyssal depths. 

"Are you... are you going to leave me?" 

He brushes the hair out of her forehead and tucks the strays behind her ears before promptly brushing away the tears that cascaded from her eyes. 

"Never. You are mine, Lumine. As much as I am yours." 

Even the sweetest wine cannot compare to the smile that adorns her face after his declaration. She buries her head on his chest once more, arms crossing behind him, bestowing him with nothing else but warmth. 

Childe thinks for a second, that this moment is perhaps the best there is in the world. And he knows he is ruined for anything else.

It is impossible to feel anything akin to this feeling and he strongly believes that the desire to even experience it from others aside his princess does not exist anymore. 

 

--☆☆☆--

 

The sound of deliberate knocking at the door rouses the harbinger from his sleep. Childe growls in annoyance at whoever is behind that piece of wood as he untangles his limbs from the goddess laying beside him. 

He kisses the top of her head before deciding to rise and check who their visitor is. 

He stills when the one in front of his humble abode makes himself known. 

Zhongli, of course. 

"Mr. Zhongli, why the early visit?" 

The man only hums before crossing his arms, pinning him with a serious gaze. 

"May I come in, Childe?"

"Ah, of course." 

He lets him in and ushers the former archon to the couch. Upon sitting, the latter immediately scans his surroundings with vague concern in his eyes. 

"I must say, your house is surprisingly empty and devoid of life, Childe."

"What do you mean? I think it's pretty homey. Lumine designed it by herself when she first got here." 

A frown makes its way to the other man's lips. 

"Childe, can we talk?" 

He stiffens, tone changing into a defensive one. 

"We are talking, are we not?" He spats.

"Why don't you ask Lumine to come down here with us?" 

He summons one of his water blades. 

"Why exactly are you here, Zhongli?"

"Call Lumine, Childe." 

In a flash, the water blade comes in contact with the polearm that materialized in front of the visitor. 

"Why. Are. You. Here?" He asks, hostile in every way as he accents each word with a swing of his blade—all thankfully parried. 

"I need you to understand, Childe." Zhongli calls forth a jade shield that rattled even the sturdy walls of the other man's home. 

A water spear slams against the shield. 

"That Lumine..." 

Yet another side step, perfectly timed to avoid the beast cloaked in water suddenly crackling with electricity. 

"Stop it!" It yells. 

But Zhongli is not known for being gentle. The wrath of the rock and the harsh truth—both must be laid out for him to save the monster disguised as a man. 

"Is no longer with us." 

A beat passes.

"She's gone, Childe. And you must accept that fact."

"No!" 

And like that, the man surges forward with the fury enough to fuel wars. 

The walls crumble and the terrified shrieks of townsfolk in the immediate vicinity sound off but Childe could no longer care. 

Him and Lumine. The rest of the world does not matter. 

His mind goes blank with nothing but white hot anger, and he brandishes his weapon with renewed vigor. 

"Take it back." He quietly demands, voice distorted. 

Instead of complying, multiple stone steles rise up from the pavement, obscuring the two men from prying eyes. 

"Everyone grieves for her departure, I assure you. We are hurt as much as you are." A water blade makes contact with the archon's cheek and he winces as response, "but she chose to sacrifice herself for this world's peace and she will not be happy if she sees you rotting away to your demise, Childe."

"You—you don't know anything! Do not lie! Lumine..." A crack in his composition and Zhongli is quick to take advantage of it. 

All at once, like a puppet with strings cut off, Childe falls forward when Zhongli's polearm strikes down his chest. The accumulated hunger and fatigue from weeks of barely holding on to her memory suddenly come crashing down upon his person. 

Empty plates and sweet nothings. 

Cold bed and pristine kitchen. 

Unused scarf with the color of the skies and the clouds—like the view he's witnessing right now. 

Stare into the abyss, and it stares back at you—its remnants staying within, slowly consuming that which it latches on to. 

The abyss is no more—or so he believes. 

"Lumine... she promised me." he whispers into the wind. 

The rustling of cloth distracts him from his thoughts. 

"Do not lean too close to that edge, Childe. I beg you, not as your friend, but as Lumine's—please, do stay with us." 

Before his eyes closed, he heard the call from the deep dark abyss of the waters. 

The sea is calm. And he couldn't care less about the rest of the world. 

Him and Lumine, he thinks. Him and Lumine.