#ALSO WEAR A MASK; DONT BREATHE ALL THAT ASH IN; ITS BAD FOR YOU | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

just-the-mage · 4 years ago

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A Return From Dark Waters, Part II

Continued from Part I, found here!

(Written by myself & @iris-ymir)

Iris listened to Evangeline’s story. On some level, she felt the woman’s pain, when the other was talking about her nightmares. Iris had her own. Always the same... being strapped onto a hospital bed, while slowly losing herself. But she was not dead after all? This simple sentence gave her hope she did not know she had. She would still have time to fix a couple of things. The greatest mistake she ever made... but one could not start with such a leap. Every journey started with a small step. And for Iris? That small step would be Evangeline. What the two had in the past was gone with the wind... but it was never meant to be, anyways. With Eva’s arms wrapped tightly around her body.. a little bit too tight, Iris wanted to back away. Yet she did not. She swallowed hard, trying to keep the urge to leap away on tight reins. Breaking the embrace now would shatter Evangeline like a crystal vase, dropped off the table and onto the hard, cold marble flooring. So Iris endured the tight embrace, even though it took all of her self control, her body tense against Eva’s form. “So... Irene, huh?” Irene... Another self? Like the shrimp? If this was not a bad enough joke on its own.. now possibly having two of these leeches in her head... but this one actually using the name of her lousy mother? That...that was a joke so bad it kind of ended up being good in a twisted sort of way. Iris broke the embrace carefully, without making any overt movements. She moved like Evangeline was a startled kitten she was trying to calm down.

The pale viera pushed the plug into the hole in the bottom of the pool, and walked up to the shower stand, turning it on. As the warm, clean water started to fill the pool slowly, Iris made her way back to the miserable kitten that was Evangeline, and took a seat next to her, leaning back against the railing with a sigh.

“Irene was mi mom. A heckin’ terrible mother at dat...she died in Limsa Lominsa a good fifteen summers back. Found ‘er from da sea... raped and murdered.. Fockin’ unsuspectin’ fool... Burned ‘er corpse miself. Tha wind from da sea scattered 'er damn ashes by tha mornin’ light...” Without looking at Evangeline, Iris reached her arm over the railing, picking up a bath bomb, and flipping it into a slowly filling pool. The scent of hibiscus and steam soon filled the air.

“Ya dun sound too damn okai wid ‘er bein’ gone though. I would fockin’ lie, if I said dis wont disturb tha livin’ shite outta mi... This whole frickin’ scene.“

Evangeline could tell Iris didn’t want this. That she was uncomfortable with this. And yet...she stayed. She didn’t jump away, break the embrace...she didn’t run. Eva felt the thinner woman’s muscles tense against her, entirely unable to relax. Evangeline was about to let her go when Iris slowly and carefully extricated herself from Eva’s muscular arms. She turned on the shower again, plugging the bath, and began to fill it back up with warm water.

She’s trying. She’s really trying.

Eva thought, surprise tickling at the hollow feeling in her chest. Iris...this was unlike her. The voice was the same, though. Her eyes...undoubtedly...were the same. This was Iris...or at least, the Iris that Evangeline had known. Perhaps Silke had gotten through to her after all. Eva tried to harden her heart to the fact that Silke and Iris...that the two of them would inevitably end up together. If Iris could change...be more kind...like she was doing here...Silke would be with her. Evangeline’s breaths deepened as she tried to calm herself. Feeling the warm water tickle at her toes helped. Something to focus on other than her feelings.

“I’m sorry to hear about your mother...regardless of her quality it’s not something you should’ve had to experience. The more I hear about gods-damned Limsa Lominsa the more I want to march on it with a battalion of soldiers and wipe the blasted place off the map.” She intoned, probably sounding a bit harsher than she had meant.

”Ya dun sound too damn okai wid ‘er bein’ gone though.”

Iris was right...it wasn’t hard to read Eva given her tear-streaked face. She was trying to suppress the sobs, but couldn’t seem to find a way to.

“Y-you’re right...it’s...it’s a-awfully disturbing...and I’m s-sorry...but I do m-miss her...I don’t k-know if she was your mo-mother...though. I….I….I know...it’s not f-fair to you...to want her b-back...but she was m-my friend…” Evangeline heard a sharp intake of breath, seemingly from far off in the distance, and realized that she had done it. Probably preparing herself to burst into tears again. Because that’s what today needed. More tears. She didn’t know why she was telling Iris all of this...might be that she had been trying to help...as much as she could. But Eva had held this all inside of her for too long to contain it anymore.

“Sh-she was my...f-friend...and I d-don’t have any other f-friends...a-and I don’t know how...b-but she took the nightmares away...I di-didn’t dream them...for three wonderful nights...and I’m scared...to sleep again...b-because I know they’ll be b-back…” She covered her face with her hands, feeling the water rise around her feet. She closed her eyes and tried to contain herself, but it was the scent of hibiscus that cut the last string on that violin. She curled into herself further, tighter, her arms wrapped around her knees, and she buried her face in her thighs. She shuddered, wracked with sobs. She figured Iris would probably leave soon. Most everyone usually did. Evangeline was too broken...too hurt. Too much of a mess. Too much of a burden. Now that Iris was back...she probably had things she wanted to do. A life she wanted to live.

And now that the deal was most definitely off...Iris had nothing left to gain from Evangeline’s presence. Eva waited for the sound of retreating footsteps. Expectantly. And as she did, she felt herself whisper something. Under her breath...more to herself than anything else. She hoped Iris would hear it. And she didn’t want Iris to hear it.

“I d-don’t...want t-to be...alone…again..”

As Evangeline broke into tears again, Iris stood up, taking an empty bucket and a luffa that were resting on the edge of the pool, and walked to the shower stand, filling the bucket up. In a way, Iris saw herself in the crying woman... She had felt the same after she got left alone in Limsa Lominsa. She despised her mother, but still, the lonely, sleepless nights on the streets had been horrifying. Iris had not cried a single tear for her mother back then, but she had cried for the feeling of loneliness. Just as Evangeline did now. And the root of the sorrow? Irene. Iris’ mother... Evangeline’s.. friend? The thought was disturbing, and Iris did not want to think about it. It couldn’t be. Irene Ymir was long gone. This... this had to be someone wearing the mask. An echo of a person once lived. Deep down, Iris wished the name was just a coincidence. A simple name her subconscious had picked up from somewhere. Yes. That had to be the case. Irene was dead. As the pool filled up, Iris closed the shower, picked up the bucket and made her way into the spot next to Evangeline. She reached out for a beautiful, purple bottle of soap, and poured some of it into the bucket, stirring it with the luffa. “...Fockin’ ‘ell, Evangelin’...”, she sighed out the words, while dipping the luffa onto the bucket, and proceed to wash Eva’s back and shoulders, now that the woman was curled up into herself. “...Stop yer heckin’ bawling, okai? Who tha devil said yer alone? Im ‘ere... Ya like it or not. And for yer... Irene? If whut yer sayin’ is true... If she truly is like tha shrimp, she’ll heckin pop out sooner or later. But until dat ‘appens, yer stuck wid mi!”, suddenly Iris bursted into an almost inaudible giggle.

“Shiteberries, Im heckin’ back Ya’ll!! Dey could not keep mi! No... Dey could not keep Iris... Ya ‘ear ye motherfockers?! Tha cat’s on da table, and dere’s nothin’ ya can do about it!”, she looked up to the corner of a ceiling, with a wide grin on her messy, black lips. With her bad teeth, the look resembled something from a horror story. Iris returned back to her work, now scrubbing the soot off of Evangeline’s arms and chest, as much as she could with the woman still curled up like a caterpillar.

“...Waaait, wait... Ya slept together? Dont tell mi ya focked wid this Irene... Because dat.. Dat would be waay too weird. For a sleepin’ though... I guess ya can sleep in mi room... I ‘ave quite a wide bed. Soo, as long as ye stay on yer heckin’ side... yer free to join mi. I can't take awai yer frickin’ nightmares, but guess I can be dere if ya ‘appen to wake up for dem. ‘Aight?” Not only that, but Iris felt like she also needed someone to sleep with her. During her time floating in the sea of deep emptiness, she had from time to time had visions... like fragments of dreams, breaking through the black veil... yet always the image had shattered in front of her eyes, like a twisted mirror, sending her back into the black.

This felt different. When she had embraced Eva just a moment ago, the woman had felt real.. alive. But still, somewhere deep inside, Iris was afraid of sleeping. What if this was yet another trick? What if she woke up only to find herself floating.. drowning once again?

“...Now I need ya to... never goin’ ba-ack... lean back a bit, so I can wash tha rest of ye... Yer not gonna crawl yer fockin’ cadaver into mi bed like dat, sister... Ohh no... Not gonna ‘appen!”, pale viera dipped the luffa into the soap water again, while intently staring at her hand and fingers. She blinked couple of times... it was a peculiar, slow blink, her left eye barely closing at all, and the eyelid moving on a small delay compared to the right. “Now... Feel mi... tell mi about dis frickin’ Irene of yers... I need to be sure o’ sumthin’...”

“W-wait...you’re staying? R-really?” Evangeline lifted her head to try to look at Iris, who was now behind Eva, scrubbing at her back and shoulders. Eva couldn’t believe it. She had been sure...absolutely sure...that Iris would have flown the coop, as it were. But maybe...something really had changed in Iris. She assumed she flushed at the mention of her sleeping with Irene...but couldn’t feel it the same way she usually could.

“We...slept in the same bed. No sex...no need to worry about that particular situation. She was just...comforting. That’s all.”

I guess ya can sleep in mi room…

Evangeline blinked, looking into Iris’ eyes. Was she...sincere? She looked it. If she was...this was the kindest thing Iris had ever even thought of doing for her. Maybe...maybe it was possible. Maybe they could be friends, after all. Maybe Iris, under all of her deception...her difficulties...was a good person. She shook her head in an attempt to free her face of the incredulous look it must be wearing.

Evangeline slowly started to unfurl herself, spreading out at first, and then collapsing back into the water with a splash as Iris moved away from Eva’s back. She lay on her back, half-floating in the still-rising water, and stared at the ceiling. She felt the tension finally start to leach out of her. The grime and dirt floated away from her, one with the ripples in the water that exuded from Eva as she moved slowly in the calm surface of the bath.

“I...would love...to sleep in your room. Th...thank you. That’s really nice of you.” Eva could feel herself calming down, her desperate fear fading for now.

“As for Irene...she was a spellcaster...made little dancing lights. Even healed the burn on your arm, from that boiling water. She said she grew up in Gridania...and didn’t seem acquainted with much in the way of etiquette. She ate with her hands, and didn’t seem to understand talking with people very well. She was sweet, though...kind and caring. She tried to make people feel better. I don’t think Lord Blacksoul particularly appreciated it...but I think he has cornered the market on being the grumpiest old man I’ve ever met. She was always talking about how this house has such dark memories...and she would talk to the paintings. Ask them questions about the house’s past. But the strangest thing about her...was her eyes. They seemed dead...soulless. Which was such a difference from how she acted. Her eyes were how I could tell it wasn’t you in there...almost immediately.” Evangeline sniffled, but she was fairly certain the tears were over for the night. She didn’t think she had any left in her. She finally relaxed fully, and let Iris wash her, enjoying the feeling quietly.

“We-I was going to grab some food from the kitchen...after the bath. Would you like to join me? I think there’s some leftover pie still...that should help with the taste in your mouth.”

“Well, where tha heck I would go? I kinda live ‘ere, ‘aight? ...Okai, cloose yer eyes... I'm gonna get dat face o’ yers... Fockin’ ‘ell, where ‘ave ya been? Did ya crawl through a frickin’ big Bertha or sumthin’..?”, Iris carefully wiped the soot off Evangeline’s face, using small, circlular motions. As she had got all the mess off, she threw the luffa back into the bucket, and sat down next to Evangeline.

“...Ya can do tha rest by yerself, Cinnabun, yer a big gal...” She was a spellcaster? This little fact had been bugging Iris from the moment Evangeline had mentioned it. How was that even possible? Iris never had any gift for magic. She had once seen a highlander woman lighting a cigarette with a flame cast on her fingertip, and had tried to copy the trick without any success at all. Magic had always been something so far out of her reach. Almost like her whole being was rejecting it. And now Evangeline was telling her this person using her body could cast magic? That was ridiculous... It was... unfair? Am affront, even! Eva had been wrong. The woman was a warrior. Maybe it had been some lousy trick that Eva saw as magic. Yes. That had to be the case. It was not any more magic than Iris was the Archbishop.

One thing was certain, though. This Irene was not the Irene Iris had known. Nor an echo of her. So it was just a coincidence...

“So... Blacksoul is still kickin’ and as grumpy an arse as ever...”, Iris cupped her palms, using them to drink some water, swished, and spat it back into the pool. “‘Ow ‘bout Gramps? For ‘ow long I ‘ave been gone aniway?” A lonely thought crossed her mind, cutting like a glowing hot knife. “...And... Silke? An archmage somewhere, married to sum good-for-nothin’ lad? Nice teeeny little tower and all dat shite?” Iris tried to laugh, but it got stuck somewhere on the way, breaking out as a frustrated sigh. She had no idea for how long she had been under. It had felt like a couple of summers, but it was hard to keep track of time in the pitch darkness... She thought she had also fallen asleep a couple of times, so it was impossible to tell. Evangeline looked quite the same. But being a viera, that meant nothing. “Pie though! Pie sounds frickin’ fantastic! ...And a cup o’ coffee.. and a heckin’ Coffin nail.. Dis head-ache is killin’ mi!“

Evangeline immersed her hair in the water, and rinsed her face, as well as the rest of her body. That...would probably do it. No more grime...finally. She drew her hair forth from the pool, a mass of dark red sloughing off water as it pulled away from the surface of the bath. She smiled slightly at the nickname Iris had given her so long ago. A part of her had missed it...that one, specifically. Something about it fit perfectly. Though she certainly wasn’t going to complain about the sweet nicknames Irene had been giving her. She hoped she would be able to hear those again, someday.

“I’ve been making something. I’m hoping that Lord Blacksoul will find it useful...a gate for the front walkway. It feels a bit absurd to me that there wasn’t one here before...it’s the most basic level of security. Closing the gate and locking it is the easiest way to prevent the vast majority of intruders from wandering onto the premises. It won’t stop everyone, but it’s a step in the right direction as far as basic safety is concerned.”

Eva seemed to have righted herself mood-wise. Best to distract herself in the interest of preventing any further breakdowns. Irene may be gone now...but hopefully she would return at some point. And for now...this was a new version of Iris that Eva was enjoying quite a bit. Something had certainly changed...Eva wasn’t entirely sure what had transpired while Iris was locked away in her mind, but maybe it, as well as Silke, had given Iris the push she needed.

“Arsene? He’s fine…” Evangeline trailed off as she saw Iris’ face drop, mentioning Silke. Assuming that Silke was...married off? How long did she think she’d been gone?

“Iris...you haven’t been gone nearly as long as you seem to think. It’s been about four days since you were...lost to us. A lot has transpired, sure...but it hasn’t been months. And no-one has gone and gotten married...nothing quite so ridiculous.” Evangeline grimaced slightly at the mention of Silke’s name. The woman had done no wrong, but Eva couldn’t help but feel a twinge of resentment bite at her. That little green jealousy monster whipped its tail at Eva’s insides...just once. Just enough for her to struggle. But she held it back and quickly corrected her expression.

“As for Silke...we will have to write her. Both she and Lord Blacksoul have departed from Ishgarde, for fairly different reasons. Silke’s studies called for her to take a semester abroad, and it seems Lord Blacksoul was wanting for some...front-line experience. I can’t understand it...but who am I to stand in the way of men and the stupid things they choose to do?” Evangeline sighed, and finished rinsing her body off. She stood up and moved to fetch herself a towel to dry herself with.

“I don’t know if you remember it, but we participated in a rather disastrous dinner party. Someone named Asagi...her daughter...and Silke were invited here. The entire night was a mess, and I’m honestly surprised neither Arsene nor Varg had a heart attack at some point during the party.” The towel she dried herself with was still a bit scandalous for her to be wrapped in, but at this point she was too tired to care. Eva wrapped another towel around her hair and ears.

“That was when I brought Irene to Silke...and Silke was able to pull you out for just a moment.” Evangeline tried desperately not to think about that night...the feelings she had struggled with...and the heartbreak she had to endure. She closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath and willing her hastily reassembled heart not to shatter again in the middle of the damned bathroom.

“She requested communication should your condition change. You can write her the letter tomorrow if you’d like...and I’ll see that it’s posted.” Evangeline offered Iris a towel.

“Let’s get that pie, shall we? And coffee…” She trailed off, wondering if she should mention the cigarettes. It would be healthier for Iris to go without them...and Eva rather disliked the smell regardless. After thinking for a second, she concluded that they weren’t nearly close enough, and handed off the towel, moving towards the door, and some food, at last.

As Eva mentioned Iris had only been away for some days, the pale viera could do nothing but stare at her companion, like one had just told her the sky is green and seas are made of rolanberry jelly.

“...Excuse me? Fockin’... f-four days? D-Dat can't be... It can't..” she shook her head in disbelief, while getting up from the bath, and reaching for a towel.

“...I... I was in dat frickin’ bottomless ocean for... at least..t-two summers... Dat d-doesn’t make any sense! ...Yer not fockin’ wid mi, Cinnabun, ‘aight?” Nothing made sense to Iris... This feeling was too much for her mind to process properly. How can one be gone for such a long time, while for others, it had been only days?

‘Am I heckin’ losin’ it..?’

She thought to herself, while wrapping the towel lazily around her hips. ‘Madness is not a state of mind...’, a voice in Iris’ head.. a foreign voice of a woman. It echoed from the back of her mind, where a creature was sitting like a canine. A mess of red hair fell in loose curls on her pale shoulders. She had pointy ears, and eyes like those of a corpse. Blood red tearlines ran down on her cheeks, and her black lips were curled up into a wide smile. The most conspicuous feature, though, was a thick, red, fox-like tail, coiling around her legs.

“Irene...”, the word escaped from Iris’ lips, after she had been staring into distance for a while.

‘...A mind of your mind... our fates entwined...’, answered the voice in a soft tone. Iris closed her eyes, tilting her head to side. The movement was twitching, resembling a person who’s having a dream. As she opened her eyes, they were, once again, the dead eyes of Irene. In the next blink though, she was gone, like a whisper in the wind.

“...Uhh.. So dat really ‘appened? Tha night when Silke was ‘ere..? I thought it was a heckin’ dream.. I’ll need to write sumthin’ for ‘er... Damn... Not a state of mind... Pie though... Just a whisper away... P-Pie sounds like a frickin’ splendid idea! And coffee... Fockin’ ‘ell Evangeline... Can ya please get mi a damn cig? Mi ‘ead is killin’ mi...” Holding her head, Iris trailed past Evangeline to the door, pushing it open into the dark hallway. Somewhere in the darkness she could feel the creature... For a moment, viera thought she saw a dancing orb of flame, lingering around the windows near the door, only to soon realize, it was just the glowing hint of the street lights on the walkway. She turned to Evangeline, standing with her on the doorway. “Yer fox is still ‘ere, by tha way...” Pale viera stepped into the hallway, as her eyes had started to adjust into the darkness. Why had no one lit the lanterns anyway? The place was like a grave.

“...Never goin’ back..”, she whispered to herself, while feeling her way with her fingertips. She could hear Evangeline’s steps right behind her.

Evangeline stopped dead in her tracks.

“Did you say two summers in a bottomless ocean? That’s...that’s so horrible.” Things were starting to piece themselves together now. Eva had been wondering how or why Iris had changed so much in just a few days...wondering what had happened to her. Wondering why she had seemed just a bit more unhinged than usual. Even through the haze of Eva’s despair, it was a bit obvious. If she had been trapped...imprisoned in her own thoughts for two summers...Evangeline could think of few things more mentally traumatising than that. Eva’s heart plummeted when she realized how awful she had been to Iris. Iris, who had been...drowning? At the bottom of an ocean...for years. And Evangeline had been concerned with her own stupid feelings. Her stupid dreams of a stupid relationship that wasn’t ever going to happen in the first place. Poor Iris...she needed some support right now. Evangeline hoped she could provide it. She moved closer to Iris, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, when she heard Iris speak.

Irene... Iris was looking through Evangeline, eyes vacant, directed at something that could have been behind the tall, muscular viera...or something that could be a thousand malms away. Eva was ashamed of it...but her heart leapt at the mention of Irene’s name. Eva kept her focus on Iris, though. The woman needed help from her...not another treatise on how she wanted to see Irene again. Before Eva could open her mouth to say something, Iris closed her eyes and spasmed, eliciting a jump from Eva. “Iris? Are you okay?”

She got closer to the waifish girl, eyes radiating concern as she tried to understand what was happening. Iris’ eyes snapped open, revealing Irene...just a hint of her. Irene’s eyes were truly unmistakable...although Evangeline thought she had imagined it for a moment, as the eyes flicked again. When she reopened them, they were back to Iris’ deep purple pools, filled still with life and fire that she continued to deny was present there. Evangeline shook her head, trying to clear her perspective. Taking another look over the pale woman, she nodded numbly at Iris, who had started talking about Silke again. What did this mean? Did she want Irene back so desperately that she was seeing things? Constructing that gate must have taken more out of her than she had thought...there was no way that Irene could be making herself known again. If she was even still there. Iris had hardly ever switched with the first ‘other’...what evidence did Eva have that it wouldn’t be the same with Irene? She was being too hopeful.

Iris wandered past Eva, who let her hand fall away without any resistance. The spindly figure was holding her head...best to get her something to eat. Some actual water too, maybe. Perhaps she was dehydrated. She followed after, trying not to intrude too far into Iris’ space. She wasn’t sure if her presence was helping, or hurting. Best to be careful for now...she didn’t want to upset Iris if she could avoid it. Iris turned to her, throwing a few words over her shoulder as if they were the peel to a banana.

Yer fox is still ‘ere, by tha way…

Eva’s heart, which had just started to settle down, felt as if it were about to try and climb out of her chest and up her throat. This was confirmation. It was real. Irene was still there...and Eva had probably seen her eyes for just a moment too. A valve opened in her body somewhere and relief flooded throughout every inch of her. She could feel her body relaxing...as long as Irene would come back...for sure...Eva could wait. She would absolutely wait...and she would do her best for Iris, too. She hurried after the retreating figure, following her into the kitchen, and busied herself with starting the coffee brewing. Sweeping around the kitchen like a seasoned housewife, she fetched a plate, and smoothly slid a slice of pie onto it, filled a glass with water, and presented both to Iris, who Eva quickly noticed had taken a seat at the table, still rubbing her forehead.

“There...maybe this will help a bit. Oh!” Eva spun on her heel, almost floating to the silverware drawer, and wrapping her fingers around a clean fork, which she placed delicately next to the pie.

“The coffee should be ready soon...and…” Evangeline grimaced. She didn’t feel comfortable enabling it...but she didn’t want to cause any unnecessary friction with Iris.

“Where do you keep your cigarettes? I can fetch one for you…”

To be continued..

#ffxiv #evangeline cross #iris ymir #the coils of d'espair; irene #viera #rava viera #veena viera #drama #writing #rp #mateus rp #crystal rp #ffxiv rp #long post #i had a blast writing this #there are still going to be probably 2-3 more parts #and this isnt even the tip of the iceberg

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