#ALSO THE ANIMATION HAS BEEN SO NUTTY SO FAR

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: One Piece Film: Red

(Thanks @knightsweeties for the picture)

As this is long overdo let me break it down to how I will be breaking it down

Plot

Characters

Animation

Music (Because yes, the music is going to be a huge part in this)

Final Thoughts.

The Plot

HIT SINGING SENSATION UTA is having a concert, her first in person show and the whole world is tuning in. And just like all One Piece Movies, the Straw Hats are going there because it sounds like fun.

Uta sings her opening number and we find out that Uta is actually one of Luffy's childhood friends AND she is Shanks daughter! As in the Red Haired Pirates Shanks.

Things build up when the reveal that Uta has a devil fruit that teleports everyone into a dream world where she controls everything. Uta's plan was to bring the whole world into an era of freedom in this dreamworld by having her fans transported in.

Luffy is the first one to get bored of the idea when Uta tells him to quit being a pirate and enjoy the eternal show. Thats when we see the catastrophic event from Uta's world wide concert. The Navy, The Marines and even the red haired pirates are pulled into a race against the clock to stop Uta before she dooms the world by leaving everyone in her dream world.

But if thats not the worst part, the Tot Musica, a Demon king summoned by the Sing Sing fruit when the lyrics are sung has created a link between the physical and Dream world.

The strawhats must work with allies and enemies alike in order to stop this Demon king of song, and hopefully save Uta.

Now a LOT of this sounds like non-sense if one isnt a One Piece fan.

But the plot does do its best to let the audience follow along the best it can, but this film is meant for the fans, the ones that know one piece.

if you are a newbie with no clue who luffy is its a 5/10

If you are a one piece fan, than I would say 9/10. Because it is confusing timeline wise as well as some of the plot points kind of blending weirdly in the end.

The ending was emotional and it hits right in the heart.

__________________________________________________________

Characters

I think I will divide this section up into 4 categories.

Uta: She is the main Antagonist of this film, and while she is the one causing trouble, she did it with noble intentions. She is a Sympathetic and Tragic character. The film does a PHENOMINAL job making us see her backstory and why she is such an important character. They also integrate her near flawlessly into Shanks and Luffy's backstories. Though I think that they did a cop out when they said the Wake Shrooms were what was making her more crazy. I think they just wanted an out so they can say she wasnt seriously going to kill Luffy. Though if I heard my best friend saying he wanted to be king of Traitors and murderous monsters no matter how much I warned him, I think I would probably gone a bit nutty to. Also I wouldnt have had Uta see the clip of the destruction, there was no point to it, have her have flashes of what happen and realize the truth, would have been better. But that ending DESTROYED MY HEART.9/10

Luffy: Luffy is in top form in this film. You really sympathize with him and how far he is willing to go to save Uta. He doesnt want to hurt his friends, and whats fascinating is the entire time Luffy never threw a single punch at her. Luffy is all for smacking sense into his friends, but he also knows what she needed. I also love how Uta and Luffy both love freedom and we see their ideologies crash, Luffy being interestingly astute in pointing out that Uta isnt freeing anyone. 10/10

Shanks: I think Shanks still maintains his aura of mystery, but the movie does confirm that he and his crew are good guys, always prioritizing the lives of others and their crew. He even was willing to take blame for something that was a tragedy just to avoid having Uta feel guilty about it. Plus we got to see some cool moves from him and his crew. (I love his crew humbling kizaru.) 8/10

Everyone else: Everyone was in top form. Bartolameo was in peak simp mode, the strawhats all mastered their vibe and were in top form, each one getting a moment to shine, especially Ussop who got to coordinate observation Haki with his dad. It was a touching moment, I hope we get something like that in the manga.

The gorosei were creepy, St Charlos got treated like Garbage as he deserves (I wish he died). The Big mom Pirates from Brulee to Katakuri were great. Law and Bepo were fantastic (Bepo making me laugh the loudest) Solid 9/10

If one is a fan of the characters its and easy 9/10. But even if one isnt, their personalities are easy to read and follow along with. 8/10

______________________________________________________________

Animation

I am going to be honest, that was the most gorgeous film I have seen this year. The blend of 2d and CGI was done MASTERFULLY. The way the animation moved with Uta's songs. The animators went HAM on this. It is just unbelievably gorgeous. I wish I could describe it more than just absolutely breathtaking.

When New World and Backlight were being sung, Oh man was it incredible. And the final bout with the Tot Musica? STUNNING

easiest 10/10

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Music

I downloaded most of the songs after watching this.

Back light is my personal favorite but they are all FUCKING BOPS!

I was practically dancing in my seat, the song has HUGE CONCERT ENERGY.

10/10

___________________________________________________________

Final thoughts

This movie is an emotional roller coaster and stimulation experience that needs to be seen to be believed. I wouldnt call this a movie as more of a Love letter to the fans, one filled with imagery and love that could fill ones soul.

The emotional highs and lows connect. You FEEL what the audience feels, you understand Uta's pain, but you also understand everyone's motives for doing what they do in this film. It is an experience that left my eyes Red.

As a one piece fan, this is the best movie to date 10/10

As a critic 6/10 with 9/10 music videos. Because without knowing the series there is a lot that is confusing.

[howlingdemon13]

If you're still up to talk about CV, may I ask your thoughts about the two Devil Forgemasters? <3

Oh yes my boys!!!!!!! My sad, angry boys!

This is equally as rambly, but ehhhhh it’s fiiiiiine!

Hector’s struggle with his own humanity and his process of distancing himself from it but then realizing it again is just ahhhhhh! Peak perfection.

To have the whole world against you for such a fundamental part of yourself (ties to dark magic /devil forging in this case) and being promised power and a fix-all by someone who has been there done that is so compelling as a story arc. I don’t know a single person who wouldn’t at least consider that - I feel like many of us have thought about it (though maybe not in that extreme). Then to finally escape only to have his first chance at happiness ripped from him makes my heart ache.

Going off of that, ultimately Dracula got his revenge in Rosaly’s death. Even when all that remained of Dracula was his curse, his influence over Isaac and turning him into a monster is a form of revenge for insubordination (intentional or not) that couldn’t be more twisted (and makes his pursuit of Isaac so desperate because, as far as he knows, the root cause of his wife’s death got pummeled into the ground by the person he was instructed to kill). Poor Hector really cannot catch a break.

That said, Hector’s acceptance of his humanity, his realization that he deserves love, and his nobility are why he’s in my top 5 CV characters. I’m also just a massive sucker for guys who are good with magic and animals. Sue me.

Isaac, Isaac, Isaac.

I love him. I love how twisted and cruel he is. He’s so over the top nutty that you can’t help but love him (and want to see him come out of everything and have a redemption arc). If we go by what Julia says when she meets Hector, I can see his rejection of his humanity and clinging to Dracula as a sort of coping mechanism for a terrible loss (which I assume would be family members). He sees Dracula as his only guidance and salvation and is so sure that he’s not just a tool for Drac’s war on humans that it’s really sad. He does have a tether to humanity in Julia, but ultimately rejects even that because Dracula manipulated him into thinking otherwise. And it’s just how he’s used and doomed by Dracula that makes me wish he was able to be redeemed. Obviously he wasn’t always the self-absorbed, vengeful gremlin he is in CoD and it’s adaptations. I firmly believe he was a kinder person with a normal amount of darkness and trauma and a brain that was just too susceptible to Dracula’s influence. And it’s the culmination of loss and manipulation that leads him to his own demise and I fully understand why Julia is so torn up about him. This is not the brother she knows and she just wants him back.

He’s tragic. Twisted, but tragic.

I just love them. They’re both perfect and compelling. They really are the perfect illustration of extremes.

[sonicasura]

Anyone has any games they greatly miss? Like there hasn't been a new one or even an update about it. That's been me with two particular franchises: Rayman and Spectrobes. (It would be three but Tom Holland practically put Jak and Daxter in possible production with wanting to play in a live action Jak game.)

I gonna start off with Rayman cause this is the first game I play between these two series. A colorful platformer often recognized by their unique protagonist, Rayman. He's a Thingamajig which can be considered an incomplete species as in one set of lore there were simply not enough energy/magic to fully complete Rayman's body.

A kindhearted, whacky and bit snarky protagonist who had a total of one trilogy, a reboot duology alongside various platforms. My first Rayman game was actually the first in the trilogy, aka his starting point in the series. I played both these three games alongside the reboot.

My favorite being Rayman 3 Hoodlum Havoc. I just love the nutty character interactions, beautifully made environments, awesome music and the best for me is the power ups called Combat Fatigues. Although I absolutely loathe the Desert of the Knaaren stage. Ubisoft knew how to write fucking tension(before the disgusting actions in the office occurred.)

After Rayman Legends came out, the only games we been getting so far are phone games. Since the creator of our Thingamajig protagonist left to open up an animal sanctuary, Rayman got shoved into obscurity. Especially when the Rabbids were made.

I really don't like the Rabbids and not because they practically got my favorite game series kicked the curb. They're just so annoying to the point I want punt them into the sun. So far, Mario + Rabbids is the only game series that doesn't make em so irritating.

Thankfully Rayman is actually making an emergence in Mario + Rabbids Spark of Hope as a DLC character and his own adventure. If it goes well, we might see him back in an official game than a phone app.

Next game is highly unlikely as it fell into Nintendo's forgotten bin, Spectrobes.

A monster collector type game that actually dives off the normal formula. You collect Spectrobes by excavating fossils and awakening them with your voice. Spectrobes can be used to excavate more fossils alongside minerals or battle Krawl, invading darkness type creatures that'll devour anything in their wake even whole star systems.

This game series had a trilogy, a few books and even a web series. The last game being Spectrobes Origins for the Wii. One special thing about the series were the monsters you collect. Like Pokemon they have three stages: Child, Adult and Evolved.

As you can see, some look straightforward like the Koma line (Komainu, Komanoto, Komadoras) yet there are a bunch that would throw you off guard between stages like (Shogyo, Chugyo, Daigyo). First game I played was actually the second, Spectrobes: Beyond the Portals. Took awhile to play the first and third games. Like Rayman, these were part of my childhood.

As for why it's unlikely to comeback also comes from the fact that studio which made, Disney Interactive Studios, closed down in 2016. It's death came from Disney's Skylanders rip-off. Although the patent for the Spectrobes series might still be there and we could have a Blinx the Cat situation.

I love to see both these franchises come back one day. Even an HD Collection for the trilogies would be great.

That's it for now! Until next time folks, I'll see you later!

[engl333blog]

1) the japanese cards are so fun! i can’t read japanese, and even if i could, the script would have been beyond me--but grace explained the rules to me and you have to memorize poetry??? which sounds super cool, and there’s also an anime called chihayafuru that centres around it which is wonderful

2) on broad display is my persevering morbid streak :^) DELIGHTED BY THE SMELLIE TEXT. the illustrations are beautiful and terrifying and babies are so so so fragile. again i’m just kind of like “how did you see this. how did you know this was what was happening inside the mom” but yk. i suppose--based on the hand--they could feel it??? i don’t suppose this is far enough back to be properly nutty in terms of information, but i’d be interested in seeing how pedagogical practices and textbook writing has evolved over time

(smellie also has a strongly-worded letter addressed to him somewhere in the woodward library and i’m not sure what he did!)

3) the galen is just fun to have. it’s such a tiny book but it’s so old and it talks about epidemics which. doesn’t that sound familiar.

4) i’ve been to kowloon district and i love this drawing of it. to be completely honest every time i come across depictions of the colonies or anyone not... white british men, in texts that are as old as the ones we’ve seen, i kind of brace up a little hahaha. not because i’m surprised they’re not woke or whatever, but yk. this specific one is okay and mostly descriptive, but if someone mentions “mahomet” (as with the one with the barber pirates) i wonder immediately what on earth they’re going to say about islam.

[2hotwing]

i know he prolly said his name or like smthn relating to a Possible childhood friends thing or smthn like “ur hero’s son” or idk anything like that but i REALLY wanna know what the FUCK dabi said

[acti-veg]

Cheap Vegan Essentials

With everything going on right now, I thought may be useful to repost an edited version of my list of cheap vegan groceries. Most of this is standard stuff but if you’re used to ready meals and faux meats but you can’t get them with the panic buying, this post may prove helpful to you. A lot of these have a really long shelf life as well, so they will be useful if you end up isolating. You may struggle to find some of these items with people clearing the shelves, but it will hopefully help to know what to keep a look out for. Just please avoid stockpiling. It is sensible to have these items in your cupboard but you should only buy what you need.

Rice: Rice is an extremely cheap and filling staple. A cup of rice contains roughly 45 grams of carbohydrates and 4-5 grams of protein. In an airtight container it lasts at least 6 months.

Beans: Beans are one of the most accessible protein sources and have been a staple around the world for thousands of years. Just one cup of soybeans, for example, contains a massive 28.62 grams of protein, while even standard baked beans contain around 14 grams. They also contain lysine, which is missing from most other plant sources.

Chickpeas: Chickpeas can be purchased very cheaply canned, and in large bags in bulk if you’re willing to prep them yourself. Each cup contains about 15 grams of protein, tonnes of fibre as well as magnesium and folate.

Lentils: Similar to chickpeas, lentils can be bought canned or in large bags. A cup of cooked lentils contains a massive 18 grams of protein, they also lower cholesterol, improve heart health and help stabilise blood sugar.

Oats: Oats are very cheap, can be bought in bulk and have great shelf life. They are high in protein, fibre, and B12; they are even thought to help lower blood pressure and cholesterol.

Cereals: Most cereals, especially supermarket’s own brand products are very cheap. Whole grain cereals like bran or oat based products are high in fiber, calcium and iron, and most are fortified with B vitamins.

Pasta: Pasta is another great product to always have on hand, it is one of the least expensive items in any supermarket, can be bought in bulk and has a very long shelf life. Depending on the type, pasta can be a good source of fibre and carbohydrates; it is a high energy food and is very filling.

Potatoes: Potatoes are one of the cheapest foods available in most supermarkets, at an average of just $0.56 per pound. They are versatile, filling and despite their reputation as unhealthy, they are an excellent source B6 and a good source of potassium, copper, vitamin C, manganese, phosphorus, niacin, dietary fiber, and pantothenic acid.

Sweet potatoes: Sweet potatoes are as versatile as white potatoes, are high in vitamins B6, C, D, iron, magnesium and potassium. They’re also a more balanced source of energy than white potatoes, as their natural sugars release slowly, avoiding blood-sugar spikes.

Noodles: Many varieties of noodles are vegan, they are very cheap and last a long time. Noodles are very filling and contain high levels of B vitamins, vitamin E, magnesium, iron, riboflavin, and calcium.

Nut butters: Depending on the type, nut butters can be purchased very cheaply. It has a surprisingly good shelf life, is an excellent source of heart healthy fats and is very high in protein.

Falafel: Falafel is usually cheap to buy pre-made but it is even cheaper when made at home just using chickpeas and spices. It is filling, can be used to make great vegan burgers and is a good source of protein, fat and soluble fibre.

Hummus: Though buying pre-prepared hummus is usually relatively cheap, it is far more cost effective to make your own in larger quantities, depending on the recipe you usually only need chickpeas, tahini and lemon.

Couscous: Couscous can be great in salad or as its own side dish, it is cheap to buy and is a convenient option since it is so easy to prepare. It is a good source of lean protein, dietary fibre and B vitamins.

Tofu: Tofu has an odd reputation for being expensive, quite probably among people who have never bought it. Tofu has been a Chinese staple for thousands of years, it is now widely available in supermarkets and is far cheaper than comparable animal products, averaging less than $2 per pound. It is filling and is high in both protein and calcium. If you find it expensive in your local supermarket, try a Chinese market or world foods store. It will keep for months if you freeze it.

Tempeh: Tempeh is similar to tofu in price and use, but has a different texture and slightly different nutritional properties. The fermentation process and its retention of the whole bean give it a higher content of protein, dietary fibre and vitamins compared to tofu, as well as firmer texture and a stronger flavour.

Seitan: Seitan is made with wheat gluten and is extremely high in protein, as well as being one of the cheapest sources of protein per dollar when made at home and is around the same price as low quality beef in stores. It has a steaky texture and is very filling.

Frozen fruit/vegetables: Large bags of mixed frozen vegetables can be bought extremely cheaply almost anywhere. Despite popular opinion to the contrary, frozen vegetables are almost as healthy as fresh produce since they are frozen while fresh and don’t endure the loss of nutrients associated with long travel and extended shelf time. Frozen fruit like mixed berries can be a cheap way to prepare smoothies or dessert.

Canned fruit/vegetables: Having a few cans of fruit or vegetables around is always a good idea, things like canned tomatoes or corn can be a side on their own, canned peaches or orange pieces are an instant dessert and canned tomatoes can be used to make sauces.

Bananas: Bananas are one of the cheapest fruits available and deserve a mention based on their nutritional value and their versatility. They can be used in desserts, as a healthy snack and can be used to make cheap vegan ice cream.

Citrus Fruits: Citrus fruits like lemon, orange and limes are cheap to buy in bunches, especially when in season and can be eaten as a healthy snack or used as a cheap way to add flavour to existing dishes.

Vegetable stock: Vegetable stock is good to have around for a variety of purposes; it will add flavour to any dish from gravies to soups and roast dinners. It is extremely cheap and relatively healthy if you go for a low sodium option. It is even cheaper if you make it yourself from leftovers or trimmings.

Olives: Olives are a healthy source of fat, they are thought to have anti-inflammatory properties and contribute to good health health, as well as being good sources of iron. They can be bought in large jars very cheaply and can be a healthy snack.

Olive Oil: Thought to be the healthiest oil to cook with, it is heart healthy and can be used to add flavour to a variety of dishes like pastas and salad.

Spinach: Spinach is often called a super-food in terms of nutritional content, it is is high in niacin and zinc, as well as protein, fiber, calcium, iron and a multitude of vitamins. You can also buy large bags of pre-prepared spinach very cheaply.

Kale: It has a different flavour and texture to spinach, but has similar uses. It is a great source of dietary fibre and is packed with nutrients, vitamins, folate and magnesium. Even a 500g bag should only set you back around $2.50.

Bread: Many new vegans assume bread is off limits, but many breads are vegan. Even speciality loafs are very cheap considering the amount of meals they can contribute towards, and they can be a good source of carbohydrates and protein. It will keep for 3-6 months if you freeze it.

Plant Milks: Plant milks have an undeserved reputation for being expensive, this is only in comparison to heavily subsidised dairy milks, though even then the price is comparable, in fact, some supermarket’s own brands are even cheaper. Plant milks are packed with calcium and are usually supplemented with vitamins B6 and B12.

Non-Dairy Spreads: Non-dairy spreads can be made form a variety of sources, from soy or olives to coconut oil. They tend to be comparable to dairy butter in terms of calcium, but without the unhealthy fats and cholesterol. They are usually priced similarly or cheaper than their dairy counterparts.

Peppers: Peppers tend to be very cheap to pick up in large bags, particularly bell peppers. They can be stretched over several meals, and can add flavour and texture to curries, stir fries and salads.

Nutritional Yeast: Seen as something of a speciality health food, nutritional yeast is actually very cheap, lasts a long time and is one of the best sources of vitamin B12. It has a nutty, cheesy taste, so you can use it in place of anything you’d usually sprinkle cheese on. It is also great in soups and when used to make “cheesy”, creamy sauces.

Flax seeds: Each tablespoon of ground flax seed contains about 1.8 grams of omega-3s. It is included in this list as they make a great egg substitute in baking, can be sprinkled on cereal, yogurt or oatmeal. It is cheap to buy, and even a small packet lasts a long time.

Dark chocolate: Dark chocolate is not only far healthier than milk chocolate, it is usually cheaper to buy in the same quantities and is far more filling. It is versatile for use in baking and desserts and is a healthy snack in small quantities.

Selected Produce: Fresh vegetables are not always expensive. Seasonal vegetables are usually cheap in most supermarkets, but some vegetables like carrots, turnips, onions, cabbage and cauliflower are inexpensive all year round, and can often be bought on offer or as “irregular” (but still perfectly edible) for even less.

Herbs and Spices: Having a range of spices on hand is always a good idea; things like cumin and garlic can add depth and flavour to simple meals and they last a very long time. Investing in a good spice rack and some curry powder will save you money in the long term.

Stay safe everyone, and please check in on your vulnerable friends, family members and neighbours. I am always around if you need any advice, resources, accessible recipes or just a bit of a chat to help with the stress. Take care of yourselves and each other.

[frankendykes-monster]

Space Jam: A New Legacy is content to be content.

The original Space Jam was a calculated marketing exercise. Michael Jordan was the biggest sports star of the nineties, and Space Jam capitalised on Jordan’s brand potential while also allowing the athlete to refashion his own narrative into a family-friendly mythology. Space Jam packaged Jordan for a generation, smoothing the wrinkles out of his story by presenting a wholesome family man making an earnest transition from basketball to baseball.

It also helped Warner Bros. to figure out what to do with their Looney Tunes characters, which had largely laid dormant within the company’s intellectual property vaults. There had been a conscious effort to revitalised the company’s animation with shows like Tiny Toon Adventures and even Animaniacs, but those classic and beloved cartoons were a merchandising opportunity waiting to happen. So the logic of the original Space Jam was clear, it was an excuse to tie together two potentially profitable strands of intellectual property.

Space Jam itself was something of an afterthought. The movie struggles to reach its ninety-minute runtime. It often feels like the production team have to utilise every scrap of film to reach that target, with extended riffs focusing on Bill Murray and Michael Jordan on the golf course and with a lot of the improvisation from the voice cast included in the finished film. The movie’s ending comes out of nowhere, and Space Jam struggles to hit many of the basic plot beats of a scrappy sports movie.

The movie itself was immaterial to the success of Space Jam as a concept. After all, the film only grossed $250m at the global box office, enough to scrape into the end of year top ten behind The Nutty Professor and Jerry Maguire. However, the film’s real success lay in merchandising, with the film generating between $4bn and $6bn in licensing and merchandising. Key to this was the success of the six-time platinum-certified soundtrack which remains the ninth highest-grossing soundtrack of all-time.

In some to trace a lot of modern Hollywood back to the original Space Jam. So much of how companies package and release modern media feels like an extension of that approach, the reduction of the actual film itself to nothing more than “content” that exists as a larger pool of marketable material. After all, the unspoken assumption underlying AT&T’s disastrous decision to send all of their blockbusters to HBO Max was the understanding that HBO Max itself was often packaged free with company’s internet. Movies would no longer be their own things, but just perks to be packaged and sold as part of larger deals.

In the decades since the release of Space Jam, the industry has become increasingly focused on the idea of packaging and repackaging intellectual property. It has become increasingly common for films to showcase multiple intellectual properties housed at the same studios. Simple crossovers like Alien vs. Predators or The Avengers now seem positively humble when compared to the smorgasbord of brand synergy on display in projects like The Emoji Movie or Ralph Breaks the Internet.

Interestingly, as Disney have steadily securing their intellectual property portfolio with additions like Pixar and Lucasfilm and Marvel Studios and 20th Century Fox, Warner Bros. have becoming increasingly bullish about showcasing the depth and breadth of their bench. The LEGO Movie imagines a wide range of properties consolidated under one brand. Ready Player One depicted a pop culture user space lost in nostalgia for properties and trinkets. However, those movies also managed to tell their own stories, even as they grappled with the weight of brand synergy pushing down on top of them.

Space Jam: A New Legacy has no such delusions. It understands that it does not exist as a story or as a feature film. Instead, it has distilled cinema down to a content-delivery mechanism. The plot of the movie finds basketball star LeBron James sucked into the “Serververse” and forced to ally with the Looney Tunes in order to play a basketball game with the fate of the world in the balance. However, while the original Space Jam ran a brisk and unfocused ninety minutes, A New Legacy extends itself to almost two hours. There is always more content to repackage and sell, after all.

A New Legacy slathers its cynicism in nostalgia, directly appealing to a generation of audiences who have convinced themselves that Space Jam was a good movie and a beloved childhood classic. A New Legacy is built around the understanding that the original Space Jam walked so that it might run, counting on the audience’s nostalgia for the original film to excuse a lot of its indulgences. After all, it would be a betrayal of the franchise if A New Legacy wasn’t a crash and vulgar cash-in. In many ways, A New Legacy does what most sequels aspire to do, scaling the original film’s ambitions aggressively upwards.

As with the original Space Jam, there is layer of irony to distract from the film’s clear purpose. In the original Space Jam, the villainous Swackhammer planned to abduct the Looney Tunes and force them to play at his themeparks. The implication was that the characters did not want to be sold into corporate servitude, stripped of their own identity and rendered as crass tools of unchecked capitalism. The irony of Space Jam lay in the fact that the entire movie was a variant on Swackhammer’s themepark and the Looney Tunes were dancing to that theme anyway as Daffy puckers up and kisses the Warner Bros. stamp on his own ass.

In A New Legacy, a sentient algorithm – Al G. Rhythm – is cast as the movie’s primary antagonist. The film gestures broadly at a satirical criticism of the modern film industry, with Al G. Rhythm shaping and warping the future of movie-making by suggesting things like computer-generating movie stars and producing a constant array of recycled intellectual property. A New Legacy recognises the machinations of Al G. Rhythm as unsettling and horrifying, with throwaway jokes about the theft of ideas and the violation of privacy, but the villain largely serves as a smokescreen to let the movie have its cake and eat it.

After all, A New Legacy revels in Al G. Rhythm’s plans. LeBron James is turned into an animated figure and dumped into classic Looney Tunes shorts like Rabbit Season and The Rabbit of Seville. The film understands that while the audience might be afraid of the algorithm, they also yearn for it. After all, it isn’t Al G. Rhythm who structures A New Legacy so that the film spends an extended sequence touring the company’s beloved intellectual properties.

A New Legacy is really just an investors’ day presentation that celebrates the sheer amount of content that Warner Bros. own. It’s not too difficult to imagine the film screened investors before the Discovery deal, as proof of just how many viable franchising opportunities existed within the copyright of the company itself. It’s a weird and unsettling showcase, in large part because it feels like that warning from Jurassic Park. The studio were so obsessed with whether they could do a thing that they never stopped to consider whether they should.

The film’s middle section includes a whirlwind tour of the properties owned by Warner Bros. After Bugs “plays the hits” with James, the two set off on an adventure to recover the other Looney Tunes from other beloved Warner Bros. properties. Some of these advertisements make sense: Daffy and Porky are living in the world of Superman: The Animated Series, while Lola seems to have found the Wonder Woman from the Bloodlines animated films. Others make much less sense in a movie aimed at kids, like the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote hiding in Mad Max: Fury Road or Yosemite Sam living in Casablanca.

Of course, it’s debatable how much of A New Legacy is aimed at kids, as compared to the kids of the nineties. Its target market seems to be kids in the late nineties who never grew up, because they never had to. Elmer Fudd and Sylvester are hiding out in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Granny and Speedy have taken refuge in the opening scenes of The Matrix. While the original Space Jam featured odd pop cultural shoutouts to things like Pulp Fiction, at least that was somewhat contemporaneous.

To be fair, there is no art driving these choices. Many of these references serve to point the audience towards established properties. It is a sentient recommendation algorithm for HBO Max and a handy way of stoking audience interest in upcoming projects like The Matrix 4 (December 2021) or Furiosa (June 2023). It is a helpful reminder that Superman: The Animated Series has been remastered in high definition to stream on HBO Max. Foghorn Leghorn even rides a dragon from Game of Thrones to remind viewers that the show is streaming on HBO Max and that there are prequels coming.

It’s all very bizarre, but also strangely lifeless. The climax of the film finds the inevitable basketball game played in front of a crowd of familiar pop culture icons drawn from a wide range of sources: King Kong, The Iron Giant, Batman ’66, The Wizard of Oz, The Mask and many more. It feels very much like a surreal power play, a company showcasing the depth of its own vaults at a turbulent time in the industry. It leads to weird moments, like Al G. Rhythm even quoting Training Day, perhaps the film’s most unlikely draw from the “Warner Bros. Intellectual Property Vault.”

The most revealing aspect of the movie is its central conflict, with Al G. Rhythm cynically manipulating LeBron’s son Dom. Dom is convinced that his father doesn’t understand him, that his father is unable to see that his skill lies in video game coding rather than old-fashioned basketball. Rhythm is able to create a schism between father and son, using Dom’s code and his anger to attack and undermine LeBron James and the Looney Tunes. It’s a very broad and very archetypal story. There are no points for realising that Dom eventually comes around to his father and accepts that Rhythm is a villain.

However, it signals an interesting shift in these sorts of narratives. Traditionally, these sorts of generational conflicts played out between fathers and sons, with fathers presented as antagonistic and sons presented as heroic. The original Star Wars saga is built around Luke Skywalker trying to wrestle and grapple with his father Darth Vader. In Superman II, the eponymous superhero is forced to confront Zod, a representative of his father’s generation and the old world. Even in Batman Begins, Bruce Wayne is set against his surrogate father figure Ra’s Al Ghul.

The metaphor driving these sorts of stories was fairly simple and straightforward. Every generation needs to come into their own and take control of their own agency within the world. Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi ends with Darth Vader dead and Luke staring out into the wider universe. Times change, and each generation has an obligation to try to create a better world than the one left to them by their parents. In the conflict between parents and children, it has generally been children who have prevailed.

However, in recent years, the trend has swung back sharply. It’s notable that the villain in Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens is an errant child who doesn’t properly respect his parents, and that Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker ends with order restored when the protagonist takes the name of the beloved heroes of the older films. Shows like Star Trek: Picard are built around the idea that kids need their older generation of parents to swoop in and tell them how to properly live their lives.

A New Legacy is an interesting illustration of this trend. The movie ends with a reconciliation between LeBron and Dom, but it is very clearly on LeBron’s terms. Dom is manipulated and misled by sinister forces, and his father has to save him while realigning his moral compass. Father knows best. It demonstrates how the underlying logic of these stories has shifted in recent years, perhaps reflecting the understanding that perhaps the older generation won’t surrender the floor gracefully.

As with Ready Player One, there’s a monstrous Peter Pan quality to A New Legacy. It is a film about how the culture doesn’t have to change. It can be recycled and repurposed forever and ever and ever. At the end of Space Jam, Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny parted ways. There was an understanding that the two worlds existed apart from one another. However, A New Legacy ends with the collapse of these worlds into one another; the “Serververse” manifesting itself in the real world. As LeBron walks home, Bugs asks if he can move in.

Of course, with HBO Max subscription, the audience can take Bugs home anytime they want

[maxwell-grant]

Can we talk about the Black Bat both in general, and and how he may have been an influence on two superheroes (Dr. Mid-Nite and Daredevil) and a supervillain (Two-Face), but was proven in a court of law to have no connection with the superhero who immediately comes to mind (Batman).

Having finally read a couple of his original stories and runs, yeah I got some thoughts on him. 

While not the first bat-themed pulp character, nor the first fictional detective with a disability turned superpower (that would be Max Carrados, who actually was blind), Black Bat’s main claim to fame nowadays is his correlation to superheroes with the mixed traits he has that would all become massively popularized by characters who debuted afterwards. Regarding the Batman lawsuit, it wasn’t so much proven that they have no connection, as much as the publishers of both characters argued they did it first, and then agreed to stay out of each other’s territory, with Batman staying out of pulp magazines and The Black Bat staying out of comics (not that it would stop his publishers from rebranding him as “The Mask” and doing comics).

Black Bat actually couldn’t have inspired Batman, because Batman debuted 4 months prior. Plus, both were already ripping off the same guy, and both of them were far from the first bat-themed pulp characters at the time. And the idea that he inspired Daredevil I find too much of a reach. Dr Mid-Nite I can definitely see the resemblance, and while Two-Face doesn’t have much similarities to Tony Quinn past the origin and the anti-hero aspects, “handsome crusading District Attorney disfigured after getting splashed in the face by acid goes on a rampage” is not exactly vague enough of a concept to pass for coincidence. Two-Face debuted just 3 years after Black Bat, while Bat was still a pretty successful character (he managed to outlast nearly every other pulp hero), so it’s very possible that Kane and Finger had a look at Black Bat’s origin and used it as the basis for their Jekyll & Hyde-themed villain. 

Okay so, that’s that for Black Bat, but what’s the character actually like? What’s there to him other than historical oddities? Does he have what it takes to survive and thrive again in a modern landscape?

The thing that sticks out to me about Black Bat is that he is a pulp character who feels like he was designed specifically with the arrival of the superheroes in mind, as when comic book superheroes began to carve a space for themselves, one of the responses the pulps had was to put out new heroes intended to be a part of both worlds, hybrids of pulp heroes and superheroes who could try to capture success in either format, characters like Ka-Zar and Black Hood who started in one and then jumped to the other. 

Black Bat’s got a lot of the usual hallmarks of dark detective pulp heroes and his adventures are largely him battling ordinary criminal masterminds and gangsters, but he’s got an iconic costume, he’s got a super dramatic origin story that the stories keep coming back to (unlike most pulp heroes whose origin stories are not usually mentioned), and he’s got superpowers brought in the aftermath of a tragic accident. Not just skills anyone can have by training hard enough, actual superpowers, even if they don’t see as much usage as his pulp hero skillset. 

To the world that knew about him, Anthony Quinn, once a virile, upstanding representative of law forces whose name had held terror for evil doers, was now an impotent blind man whose sight had been permanently destroyed by acid thrown at him in a crowded courtroom, and whose face was horribly scarred about the eyes. For a long time he had seemed to live in a world apart.

Such actually had been the case during the long months when Tony Quinn had lived in a sea of blackness. But Nature had been as kind as possible, giving him something in return for what had been taken from him. As a result he had since realized that his senses of feel, smell, and hearing were far more acute than formerly. Under his sensitive fingers whatever he touched had begun to tell strange new stories. His sense of smell had sharpened. His ears had become the ears of a hound, picking up with ease and sifting multitudinous sounds that once had been inaudible.

More months had gone by until, in the darkness of a lonely night, a girl with golden hair and blue eyes hadcome in through an open window like an angel out of nowhere to offer him hope where eye specialists had said there was no hope. Through a delicate operation by an unknown small town surgeon the corneas of the eyes of Carol Baldwin's policeman father - dying from paralysis brought on by a gangster bullet - had been given to him. An extraordinary thing had occurred. When at last Tony Quinn had been allowed to remove the bandages, he had been astounded by the miracle that had happened. His were the eyes of darkness as well as the eyes of day!

Interestingly also, Black Bat actually became one of the most prolific of pulp heroes when brought over to Germany. When German publishers Pabel decided to reprint a couple of Black Bat novels for the KRIMINAL-ROMAN serial, they discovered “Die Schwarzen Fledermaus” was somehow so popular that in 1962, they retitled it Fledermaus (Bat) and ran with it, reprinting all the original 60+ stories and then, when those ran out, creating 900 more at least. In fact, it seems like they are still publishing Black Bat stories even today, and now that he’s public domain it’s something just about anyone could get into.

Problem with that is, it’s not easy to conceive of The Black Bat having any kind of substantial popularity again, when he’s doomed by design to always be compared to Batman, to always just be seen as first glance as “oh it’s earless Batman with Daredevil’s shtick and Two-Face’s backstory”, and of course he doesn’t have a chance in hell of playing catch-up to the popularity of those characters (well, at least outside of Germany). Whatever niche he could have as an alternative to Batman is also null by the fact that said niche of Not-Batmen is already filled out quite extensively. He doesn’t have an incredibly strong personality the way Batman and The Shadow do, nor is he, despite being ostensibly a serial killer, enough of a trigger-happy anti-hero to latch on to the appeal of characters like The Spider or Punisher. The latest Black Bat comic run by Dynamite played up his ruthlessness, outlaw status and drew him on the covers perpetually holding guns and often with a big creepy smile. But smiling murder pulp Batman is already a niche that Midnighter fills considerably better than Black Bat ever could. So what’s left for him?

If I had to find a unique niche for Black Bat, I’d play his unique traits in ways that separate him from the super characters that ran with those later. I’d ditch the whole “oh woe is me I’m poor and helpless because I’m blind” shtick that’s terribly condescending to actually blind people, and make him at least truly blind in some form. Maybe he’s blind by day and by night he sees too much, or maybe his vision has some terrible secrets that go beyond mere enhanced eyesight. Maybe his powers are growing and expanding in ways he doesn’t know where they will lead him. But alongside that, one take on the character could be based on the fact that he really has nothing to lose. He is not Batman, he is not The Shadow, he isn’t Daredevil, he’s got little reputation to speak of, and he’s never going to be any of those characters.

He’s lost the position he’s coveted his whole life, he’s lost the respect of his peers, his former professional ethics don’t mean shit now, he’s had a long and painful brush with darkness that scarred him for life in ways both literal and metaphorical, and in the aftermath he’s begun spontaneously developing abilities that would be incredibly painful and uncomfortable for an average person to just develop without years of growing up with them. And then, a mysterious woman walked through his window one day, gave him the eyes of a dead man, and now he sees things in ways no person was ever supposed to, and now he goes around at night terrorizing and killing criminals in an animal-themed costume. 

The most he has to lose currently is the life of his sidekicks who’ve worked very hard to help him heal and focus and find a new purpose, which only means that they are on the chopping block everytime you wanna give a gut punch to Tony Quinn. And no matter how famous, or even great, his adventures are, or how prolific and successful he is or even has been, he’s always going to be the Bat-themed superhero who couldn’t cut it. He’s Not-Batman, stripped of all the grand splendour and allmighty self righteousness and reputation and role as foundational figure of an entire genre and most popular bestest superhero of all time ever praise be thy Bat God, sharing more traits with one of Batman’s most personal and tragic villains than the titular character.

That’s not an indictment, that just means that Black Bat ultimately should have more narrative freedom, since he is unburdened by reputation and status. He is a public domain nobody best known by his association with characters who eclipse him in popularity, who’s always going to have that accursed Bat prefix and costume to damn him by association, so why not work with it? He could be the character you go into to tell stories that you couldn’t tell with Batman or other big name superheroes, the grimiest, sickest, even weirdest crime tales of all. What does the Black Bat have to lose?

Those who have nothing to lose stand everything to gain, after all.

Also, Masks 2 once presented an alternative version of the character called The Black Bats, who dresses like a baseball player and dual-wields baseball bats, which is nutty and I’d definitely prefer Black Bat to ditch the generic pulp hero guns and instead just go crazy batting everything in his way.

“I gotta tell ya, this is pretty terrific! Hahahahah, yeah!”

[raguna-blade]

Wolfshead, also known as...

@flashfictionfridayofficial​

Ah, hello there child. What do you have the-

Oh my. Where ever did you find that? Be a dear and put that on the table, no by itself, and go wash your hands. Actually, a full shower. No I'll brook no argument, do it now.

I better hear running water and soap while I handle...This.

What is it? Hm. Well it's a flower obviously, though a rare one. Hm...Have you smelled it? Tell me, what did it smell like to you?

I don't hear running water!

Hm, Nutty and a little spicy, like pepper? Yes, that does rather confirm things...Wash again. Hot, hot water. Use the white tar soap in fact.

Yes, it is that serious. When you finish come here. This is a rare find, and an excellent lesson opportunity. Bring your mask and suit as well.

Now then, why the alarm? Would you care to guess?

Poisonous, some kind of irritant? Hm...Not wrong, but tell me, as you were picking the flower how did you feel? Warm, relaxed, the pain in your left arm was basically gone? Invigorated as well hm? What does that sound like to you?

A narcotic, save the invigoration, which you chalked up to excitement for finding something so interesting out there. Well, I will give you points for recognizing something out of the ordinary, though you're docked for not taking sufficient precaution. Purely extra credit, the failure is mine.

Here, take a look a the petals. Notice the creamy toasted color, the little bump of dark brown towards the center. The way they're irregularly shaped, the expansion towards the middle and the divots and two points at the ends. What's it look like to you?

A wolfs head? Yes that's quite right, lots of people say so. Wolfshead is one of the names of this flower, though it's not the more uh...Infamous one. To be sure, you saw no fruit? Ah, that's good, that's good, though in truth I suspect if you had done some digging you would have found some. No blame in it, you wouldn't have thought to. We've not quite hit that point of your lesson's and that is on me.

So, you are correct. The flower is quite poisonous. I expect you're feeling rather tired right about now, far more than you should be. Wolfshead is a fairly confusing plant, being a stimulant and narcotic both, and it uses that fact to devastating effect. Most creatures who inhale it find themselves first dulled and relaxed, all the while their heart starts to beat faster, their veins constrict, and their muscles begin to contract wildly.

Given a little more time I fear we would not be having this conversation. For myriad reasons.

Still, it's a remarkable plant, and with careful processing it can be used towards many medical ends. On it's own its especially potent for pain relief, especially for those who need to remain otherwise alert, though it has other less virtuous uses. It also interacts with other compounds in interesting ways that we'll discuss later.

Now, I suspect you found it in a cluster, tightly packed and in a place with some running water hm? Near the river!? Idiot, you weren't supposed to go that far out though I suppose in this case i'll have to recind my frustrations.

Would you care to guess why it was clustered so?

Yes, the reason isn't precisely intuitive. Something like mushrooms, it was growing off something indeed, but the water is something of a mystery hm? Well all plants need water it's true, but the wolfshead requires simply stupendous amounts of water to grow into it's fruit and to spread. That you saw none of it means these are very new flowers, and once Matilda gets here we'll be dealing with it. You would not have been so foolish to investigate had it truly taken root.

Essentially, the flower is carnivorous. The poison it projects causes many animals to perish in it's vicinity, which taken with the water, is used to rapidly spread. And of course since it has a host of otherwise healthy dead bodies, it attracts carrion feeders, who also tend to fall prey, and the strong scent tends to overcome the smell of the rot, so it attracts plenty of herbivores and carnivores after them.

Once there is enough it will start to spread it's seed, and the older flowers will fruit, many of them landing on land to no avail, though some will make it into the river. The fruit is notable for its ...Disconcerting shape.

Yes, I did mention a more infamous name. It's the name of the fruit I suppose.

They call them Dogsbody.

[arcticdementor]

When the idea that a woman could have a penis was no longer a privileged insight of the academic elite but had gone mainstream, I remarked to my friend, “How long before we have to affirm the furries?” At the time I was joking, but after reading Kathy Rudy’s article “LGBTQ…Z?” in Hypatia in which she claims to “draw the discourses around bestiality/zoophilia into the realm of queer theory” I’m starting to wonder if my joke isn’t that far off. After all, there was a time when the idea of a man becoming a woman was a joke—as in this clip from Monty Python’s comedy The Life of Brian.

What Duke University professor Kathy Rudy seems to realize by arguing we should add “Z” (zoophilia) to the queer alphabet soup is that a great way to have a successful career in academia is to bring postmodern gobbledygook into absurd combinations with anything and everything.

…

I will hand it to Rudy, her article is at least comprehensible, even if it’s just as insane. Rudy begins by noting that humans who “kill animals, force them to breed with each other, eat them, surround them, train them, hunt them, nail them down and cut them open for science” are considered “normal, functioning members of society. Yet having sex with animals remains an almost unspeakable anathema.”

…

While some might conclude that, since we wouldn’t shag a pig, we also shouldn’t confine one to a gestation crate, Rudy’s reasoning seems to be that if we already force terrible things on animals, then why not also screw them? If you’re a cow, having a human copulate with you can’t be as bad as going to the slaughterhouse, right? Besides, Fido already humps my leg so why don’t I hump him?

Technically, Rudy claims “my argument is not for or against humans having sex with animals, but is a meditation on both the elusive nature of sex itself and the subjectivities of human versus nonhuman animals.” She never explicitly promotes sex with animals, but considering that the entire point of the article is to call into question the taboo against having sex with animals, well…

It’s as if I said I’m not advocating for pedophilia but then proceed to undermine all the reasons for being against pedophilia. “Why not?” might not be as strong as “you must” but it leads to the same outcome, namely, radical permission.

As is often the case with academic postmodernism, the claims being made become less clear the more the author writes:

“Put differently, queer theory teaches us that it's not really a question of whether we have ‘sex’ with animals; rather it's about recognizing and honoring the affective bonds many of us share with other creatures. Those intense connections between humans and animals could be seen as revolutionary, in a queer frame. But instead, pet love is sanitized and rendered harmless by the presence of the interdict against bestiality. The discourses of bestiality and zoophilia form the identity boundary that we cannot pass through if we want our love of animals to be seen as acceptable.”

Rudy’s elusive, wishy-washy prose is a common rhetorical tactic. The goal is to avoid clearly committing to an argument so that one can simultaneously promote radical nuttiness while removing oneself from the burden of defending it. After all, if the claim really were as basic as “we love our pets but not in a sexual way” then the article wouldn’t be, as Rudy puts it, “revolutionary.”

The only way the article can be truly “transgressive” is for her to argue that our love for animals is already sexual or should become sexual. After all, Rudy seems uncertain as to whether she is sexually attracted to her own dogs:

“I know I love my dogs with all my heart, but I can’t figure out if that love is sexually motivated.”

For some reason, I’ve never grappled with this problem, but then again, I’m not versed in Queer theory.

…

Indeed, what is the difference between inserting a piece of bread into a toaster and penetrative sex? According to postmodernism, nothing at all! As Rudy explains:

“The widespread social ban on bestiality rests on a solid notion of what sex is, and queer theory persuasively argues we simply don't have such a thing. The interdict against bestiality can only be maintained if we think we always/already know what sex is. And, according to queer theory, we don’t.”

Despite earlier claiming that she is not advocating for sex with animals, Rudy has just provided us with an indirect argument for it. She states that we can only maintain a ban on sex with animals if we know what sex is. She next states that queer theory has proven that we don’t know what sex is. Therefore, we cannot ban sex with animals. She suggests her indirect argument again at the end of the article by masking it in the form of a question:

“But without a coherent and agreed upon definition of sex (which queer theory persuasively argues is impossible), the line between ���animal lover’ and zoophile is not only thin, it is nonexistent. How do we know beforehand whether loving them constitutes ‘sex,’ and how can such sex be so dangerous if it so nebulous and undefined?”

Not only is it false that we have no idea what sex is, but it is also false to say that we require a taxonomy of every kind of sexual feeling before we can forbid certain acts (such as coitus) with animals (or children and the cognitively disabled, such as Chris Chan’s mother with dementia).

I may not be able to verbally capture the feeling of sexual desire or pleasure any more than I can define pain or joy or sadness. It’s something I know from experience. What I can say for sure is that what I felt kissing my grandma’s cheek is definitely not in the same category as what I felt kissing my boyfriend. Rudy may be unclear as to whether she is turned on by a slurp from her dog, but I personally have never felt confusion on the matter.

…

Yet, the true perversion, according to Rudy, is not to lust after camels, dogs, parakeets or naked mole rats but to set up the sexual boundary between humans and animals in the first place:

“Put differently, both animal rights (3) and psychosocial perspectives [which view desire for animals as mental illness] (4) do not believe that borders can be crossed. Queer theory, on the other hand, tells us that few of us have stable identities anymore, that borders are always crossed. We're all changing, shifting, splitting ourselves up this way and that. It labels these processes ‘hailing,’ ‘suturing,’ and ‘interpolation’; where once we saw ourselves affiliated in one way, a new interpretive community emerges to capture our passions and move us differently. I am asking the reader to entertain the possibility that the same kinds of shifts and disruptions happen with categories like ‘human,’ ‘rabbit,’ ‘ape,’ or ‘dog.’”

And no woke paper would be complete without the accusation of violence:

“Both positions [animal rights activists and bestialists] oppose sex with animals, and in doing so they perform a kind of violence on animals by lumping them all together into one seamless identity.”

That’s right. Physically violating an animal does not constitute violence. Words do. Especially when those words reject postmodern queer theory.

…

Unlike the many women who have been cancelled for claiming that males aren’t women, Rudy’s August 2012 article (republished March 2020) for Hypatia did not result in her being fired, censored, or otherwise deplatformed.

It’s not as if no one came across her article either. According to Altmetric, Rudy’s article is in the “top 5% of all research outputs scored by Altmetric” and is “One of the highest-scoring outputs from this source (#1 of 704)” and has an Altmetrics attention score in the 99th percentile.

When Rebecca Tuvel wrote a paper for Hypatia suggesting that the same assumptions that ground transgenderism could be used to support transracialism, scholars demanded Hypatia retract the article and the journal's Facebook page posted an apology on behalf of the associate editors. Rudy, on the other hand, was invited to deliver the commencement speech for North Carolina Service Dogs in December 2012.

We must remember that the word “transgressive” has relative, not absolute, meaning. What is considered “normal” defines what is considered “transgressive.” If queer theory articles on bestiality result in publication and validation, then is Rudy truly, in her words, “transgressive”? Or is Hypatia, rather, representative of a new establishment norm that is just as desirous of punishing transgressors—now in the form of TERFs and other enemies of the postmodern left—as the old establishment was eager to fire and ostracize homosexuals? As The Who sang, “Meet the new boss / Same as the old boss.”

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Chapters 25-27

This is the first leg of the “D” arc.   I had originally planned on trying to do the whole thing in one post, but it’s pretty long and meanders in places, so instead I’m going to break it up, starting with the part that wraps up volume 4 of the collected editions.

Much of these first three chapters just showcases Millennium preparing to depart their secret headquarters in Brazil.  They have three blimps, maybe more.   We already saw the Graf Zeppelin III, but there’s also a Graf Zeppelin II and a Hindenberg II.   Also, the Major refers to all of this as “Operation Sea Lion 2″.  The original “Operation Sea Lion” was Nazi Germany’s plan to invade the U.K. during World War II.   It was never enacted, however, because the Germans couldn’t establish air and naval superiority over the British.  Basically, the Major is declaring that he has finally achieved what Hilter could not, thanks to his “Last Battalion” of 1000 vampire soldiers.

The bridge of his flagship (flagblimp) has this big comfy chair on a robot arm, and a panoramic world map.   The arrows on the map point in all sorts of nutty directions, including the United States and other European nations.   I could have sworn I had heard some mention in Hellsing Ultimate of Millennium sending forces to the U.S., but the international angle was never mentioned again, and I assumed that I must have imagined it.  In any event, the Major made it clear that his target is Alucard specifically, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense to invade places where Alucard is not.

The Major prepares to take his seat only to find Warrant Officer Schrödinger sitting in his chair.   Remember, Schrödinger inexplicably teleported himself to London to address Hellsing and Iscariot, and then he got shot and killed for his trouble.   But now he’s back, alive and well.   He mocks the Major for being to slow, and the Doctor scolds him for his insolence, but the Major orders Doc to back off.   This is a running gag throughout the rest of the series.  The Doctor keeps trying to chastise Schrödinger, but the Major lets him do whatever the boy wants, almost like he’s some favorite pet.  

Meanwhile, an unidentified helicopter tries to land on a British carrier, the H.M.S. Eagle.   The Captain orders his crew to open fire, but the first officer suddenly does this:

So yeah, the first officer is a vampire now, and he’s sold out Queen and Country for Millennium.  He and a handful of vampire crewmen kill the rest of the crew and turn them all into ghouls, allowing the helicopter to land, making way for...

This lady, Lieutenant Rip Van Winkle.  I should point out that in the pages leading up to her boarding the Eagle, she was singing Engelandlied, a German war anthem from World War I.   She’s nutty, is the idea.

So, I’m gonna go ahead and put forth my fan theory that all the bad guys we dealt with prior to Rip were just patsies for Millennium, and not actual members in their own right.   This includes Tubalcain “Dandyman” Alahambra, because, for all his powers, no one ever said his rank, leading me to think he didn’t have one.   Same with the Valentine Brothers and any of the vampires Alucard and Seras were sent to fight during the first dozen or so chapters of this manga.   Millennium may have turned them into vampires, and in some cases they even let them in on Millennium’s inner workings, but they were never more than cannon fodder.   Jan seemed to understand this, although Luke and Dandyman seemed to believe they were genuinely created to represent the new pinnacle of vampiric power.   Even the Doctor thought Dandyman had a strong chance of beating Alucard, but in the end they were just experiments meant to test Alucard’s mettle.

And, really, the rest of Millennium is not much different, except Rip and the others actually know why they’re being sacrificed, even if they don’t necessarily understand how or when.

Meanwhile, Seras still won’t drink blood, and she keeps trying to eat regular food instead, even though she struggles to swallow every bite.   I’ve never been very clear on whether vampires in Hellsing can eat non-blood food or not.  Seras is doing it, albeit painfully, but I don’t think she really gains anything from it, except whatever coping mechanism this is supposed to serve.   

So in walks Sir Integra, who dumps a bag of medical blood on her table.  Seras never really answers Integra’s question, but she already told Walter, and it’s not much of an answer.   The heart of the matter is this: Seras really doesn’t want to be a vampire.   Or, maybe, more accurately, she doesn’t want to stop being human.   The trouble is that she already lost that battle way back in Chapter 1. 

In many ways, Seras has accepted her fate.   She works for Hellsing, recognizes Alucard as her vampire master, and so on.  I think she understands that this is the only life she can have now, and her will to live is strong enough that she appreciates what Alucard and Integra have done for her.    At her core, Seras is a public servant, and fighting monsters for Hellsing is not so different from fighting crime as a policewoman.  I think she sees her current condition as a means to that end.   She doesn’t crave power like the evil vampires we’ve seen thus far.    Seras views her abilities as a means to an end.   Alucard biting her gave her a way to stay alive and continue fighting the good fight.

However, she doesn’t want the baggage that goes along with that.   She wants to retain as much of her humanity as she can, and drinking blood is the one thing that she has some control over, or so she believes.

But Integra’s far too practical for that dilemma.   Alucard was willing to respect Seras’ relucatance, but she needs her troops on their toes and ready for action.  So she takes a knife and cuts open her finger, and then orders Seras to lick the blood off.    This is... disturbingly sexual, and one of a number of scenes that reminds me that Hirano Kouta had done a lot of, er, adult comics before Hellsing.   I think he did a lot of uniform fetishy stuff too, which is why Seras and Schrödinger’s uniforms look so similar to each other.   Both are meant to resemble German WWII gear.   I’m willing to grant some leeway here, because there’s probably only so many ways to do a finger-licking scene like this without sexualizing it a little, but the last bit with the saliva trail is just revolting. 

So, what’s bugged me for a long time was that if Seras drank (a little) of Integra’s blood here, why did this subplot not get paid off until much later in the story?  She drank blood, didn’t she?   Well, yeah, but Integra ordered her to do it, so it doesn’t count.   This came up a couple of times earlier in the story, when Walter and Al mentioned that she wouldn’t drink blood willingly.  It’s not just an ethical issue for Seras, or she’d simply chow down on the medical blood.  I guess Integra could force feed her every night, but that wouldn’t solve anything.   This is about Seras accepting her transformation as a fait accompli.   I think this is why she very nearly drank Alucard’s blood back in Northern Ireland, when it sure looked like there was no other way for her to survive.  But if she’s just sitting there with no one making her do it, and no urgent need to do it, she’ll refuse every time.  

I think Hellsing uses the premise that a vampire has to do more than just bite a human to turn them into a vampire.  That is, Alucard had to put his own blood in Seras’ body to complete that transformation.   I think that’s how it worked in the Dracula novel, and Seras herself mentions it in the Gonzoverse anime.   But that wouldn’t count either, because it’s part of the change itself.  The idea is for the new vampire to partake in blood-drinking by choice, and until that happens, they won’t get all the cool powers.   

One other thing, Integra takes this opportunity to mention that she’s a virgin, which is a weird flex for this situation, but okay.  In Hellsing, that means Integra could become a vampire herself, but not if Seras bites her, because it has to be a vampire of the opposite sex.   In any case, Tegs warns Seras not to bite down during this creepy finger-licking KFC-hentai thing.   

Back in the damn ocean, Lt. Rip van Winkle is welcomed aboard by the traitorous crew of the Eagle.   She asks them how it feels to be a vampire, and causally reminds them of their treachery.   Then she gives them new orders, which are to die by her magic gun, which fires a bullet that can turn around in midair.

And so the First Officer and his lackeys learn the same lesson as the Brazillians working for the Dandyman, and the Dandyman himself, and the Valentine Brothers and whoever else.  Millennium might turn you into a vampire, but that hardly means that you’ll live forever.   Millennium always demands treason as payment for their help, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they might betray you sooner or later.

Besides, Rip doesn’t need the British crew, because she has her own henchman on board her chopper.   While she waits for them to wake up, she paints a swastika on the deck, just to make it clear that they’ve taken control of the Eagle, which she renames the Adler.  That’s German for “Eagle”, you see.

Back on his blimp, the Major cuts this twenty-minute promo which basically amounts to “I love war, we have no particular agenda except to wage endless war for the fun of it.”   Back in England, Alucard is eagerly awaiting their arrival.  

[mk-wizard]

Let me explain how Transformers are not robots

Hi, fans. Today, I am not discussing a theory, but something that is a fact and perhaps the most denied, resisted and challenged fact in all of Transformers lore: they are not robots.

I have gone as far as having long debates with even my own husband about this subject, but the truth is the truth whether you like it or not. Maybe they were introduced as robots and maybe their definition of what a robot is can be different from Earth’s, but they are not robots and when you stop and think about it, they never were. And here is the list of reasons to back it up and I am only counting facts that Hasbro has confirmed as officially part of the Transformers lore;

They have parts (organs) that cannot be replaced by building a new one from scratch. They either get crude replacements or they require an organ donor to replace the part that is lost. Also, these same parts can sometimes be deformed which affects performance. The most obvious they cannot simply replace is their T-cog which is the unique organ that Transformers have that gives them their ability to transform. If this gets damaged or lost, it cripples that ability leaving them as an unchanger. It is also possible for a T-cog to be deformed in which case the Transformer is an unhcanger at birth or has trouble transforming. This organ can only be replaced by a donor or corrected with surgery. It cannot be built. In fact, even body parts like hands, optics and even a foot cannot simply be replaced. They can be put back on, but trying to make a new one is not that simply and at times, the fact that it is a prop shows as seen with Prime Ultra Magnus’ hand, Prime Breakdown’s optic being lost for good and Animated Red Alert’s hand being replaced with a tool. If they were robots, their parts would work like an assembly line of which they are easily replaced and made from scratch. The fact that not even a hand can work this way for Transformers is proof that they are not robots. Like us, if they lose a body part, they won’t be the same. They are even made up of something called CNA which is what DNA is to us. In fact, they share many organs with us like bones and veins.

They have genders and this has been confirmed since the IDW comics and Beast Wars. I admit that initially, they didn’t have genders in the time of G1 which caused confusion for the G1 fans later, but this fact was officially changed by the Beast Wars era. They have biological genders and work the same way as ours. With that said, as radical as it sounds, they come to be through reproduction like us not through being built. Yes, they can be put back together if broken apart, but they don’t come into the world like that. Every Transformer has a mother and father biologically just like you and me.

They can age and die which is something robots cannot do. A robot may wear and tear with time and its batteries will eventually run out, but it never actually was alive to begin with, it never ages and it doesn’t die. You can simply replace the robot’s batteries and they will be fine. As we have seen especially Alpha Trion since G1, Transformers can age and even grow old. And in Rescue Bots, we see that they even start off in the world as children. And most notably, once a Transformer dies, it’s for good. Optimus was the exception through a miracle of Primus. The norm is that death is forever with them. And if you want to look at this from a spiritual perspective if you’re devout like me and believe in that stuff, they have an afterlife where their souls go which is the Allspark. If the ability to age and die while having a soul is not the definitive trait of being a living being, I don’t what is.

They have biological familial relationships which is impossible for a robot. Since the days of G1, we saw many examples of this; - The Lamborghini twins are twin brothers. - In some continuities, Optimus and Ultra Magnus are either cousins or brothers. - Hound and Mirage are cousins. I don’t know if they are close or distant ones, but it is why they share similar powers. - In some continuities including G1, it is subtly hinted that Elita-One is Alpha Trion and Beta Maxx’s biological daughter. - G1 Arcee is Beast Wars Rattrap’s great aunt. - In some continuities, the Prime system is hierarchical meaning from parent to child so all Primes are family. The Megatron system works the same way. - In some continuities, Ratchet is a father and grandfather. - In Rescue Bots, Ratchet is Medix’s uncle. - The Constructicons are brothers. - In Animated, Jetstorm and Jetfire are twin brothers. - While it was initially a joke that he had a mother, it is now a fact that Optimus Prime had loving parents who sadly, were two of the many casualities in the war. I don’t know which one was the Prime though. - In current times, each Dinobot is a parent. - In Animated, Bulkhead came from a big family. - In Animated, Kup has a nephew. - In the comics, it is hinted that Wheeljack has a son out of wedlock.

They can get sick or hurt which is also impossible for a robot. As we have seen since the days of G1, Transformers have health needs and cannot only emotionally feel, but also physically feel for better or for worse. When they get injured, they don’t just simply break. It hurts and in some cases, the severity of an injury can have repercussions such as permanent damage. In the case of Fixit, he is handicapped for life because of the injuries he sustained from his crash. In some fights, Transformers have wound up dead. Which leads us to the diseases they can endure which can be fatal. And unlike a robot that simply acts wonky or nutty when bugged, Transformers act like we do when they are sick. They are weak, they are in pain, they moan and even physically look awful hence needing to stay in bed. And like us, these diseases require treatment.

They can have handicaps and imperfections which cannot simply be corrected by repairing or rebuilding. If a Transformer has a handicap of any kind especially a mental one or suffers from some kind of insanity, you can’t just simply reboot them or fix their processor (brain). And they can have imperfections such as not all having the same level of fitness or even being fat or possibly even being physically deformed. And like an organic person, sometimes, you cannot simply operate on them to fix it because it can be dangerous. For example, it has been confirmed that Lugnut is hideously deformed (though that didn’t stop Strika from loving him), it is hinted that Megatron is a mutant and years of forced surgery to be a great miner mutated him further, and it has been confirmed that out of all the cop Autobots, Prowl is chubby and a lot of evidence points to most versions of Optimus being fat. A robot cannot suffer from insanity, it cannot gain or lose weight and they cannot mutate because they don’t have a biology.

So there you all have it. Proof that the Transformers are not robots and these are facts Hasbro backs up. I hope it has cleared the air and ceased the confusion. Take it or leave it. Personally, I like the fact that they aren’t robots because I find it makes them more interesting and dynamic. That and I find the fact that they can have families endearing. And as side note, the fact that Optimus Prime had kind loving parents.

If you have a Transformers theory or fact you want explored, let me know in my ask box and I will delve into it.

Thanks for reading and talk to you later. EDIT: Forgot to add a fact. Added sickness and injury now. EDIT 2: More significant things have been added to the family list. Plus, another significant fact came to mind.

[secret-engima]

I am horribly sick and just want to stab everyone that tries to make me use my incredibly sick throat. May I get a ramble on fangs and feathers? Or even Prompto-Cloud thingy bit thing. (Uuughgi. Sickness makes my memory WORSE. I can't remember its name and honestly F&F was a hit or a miss but it LOOKS RIGHT SO.)

I’m so sorry to hear that!! Ummm let’s go with the Prompto-Cloud thing (Clouds and Moonlit Skies verse btw). Actually *grins* let’s go with a nutty xover.

-Zack and Cloud are ten years old in this. They trip into another dimension and at first don’t realize it. They were busy exploring an old part of the Citadel, Seph is with them, having abandoned his paperwork on Zack’s puppy eyes and Cloud’s teasing. They have fun for a while, poking around dusty old rooms and discovering a new, spacious training ground to trash later.

-Then they get hungry and troop their way for the kitchens to grab a snack.

-They enter the populated part of the Citadel and come face to face with a Crownsguard.

-The Crownsguard isn’t human.

-Well, the upper half of him is, but his lower half is some kind of fluffy tabby house cat, like a centaur, but a cat.

-Both sides stare at each other in astonishment for several very long seconds before the guard shouts in shock and rears back, tail puffing out to stupidly huge proportions as he reaches for his com to ... alert someone.

-Seph acts on pure instinct, lunging for the guard and tackling him to the ground. He knocks the guard out, but not before getting a nasty claw-made gash on one arm and the guard screaming into his link something about “Drautos is here!” Which really shouldn’t be cause for alarm because he works here- except he doesn’t, because he’s half sitting on an unconscious, man-sized half HOUSE CAT person.

-A frantic game of keep-away-what-is-going-on starts up with Noctis, Prompto, and Titus all ducking into rooms and through camera blindspots to avoid the Crownsguard who are ALL centaur cat people (Zack: Cataurs? Cloud: Not the time Zack) eventually though, they get caught, because of course they do, the Citadel is different and the cameras are too many. They get cornered in a very large, grand hallway with lots of very potentially breakable art, surrounded by wild-eyed and tense Crownsguard who range from cat people to deer people to ... is that a ferret over there? Cloud is pretty sure that’s a ferret person.

-Also Cor Leonis is there, tail swishing madly as he clutches at his sword and eyes them, fur bristling slowly as their hunters all seem to finally realize that the “Drautos and unknown intruders” they’ve been chasing are NOT half animal of some kind.

-Zack is the one to break the silence by stage whispering to Cloud, “I thought he’d be a lion. You know, with the name and all.” Seph, uncaring of leaving himself open to attack, takes a moment to facepalm with a heavy sigh while someone in the Crownsguard gives a nervous, semi-hysterical laugh.

-Tension now thoroughly ruined, the three allow themselves to be herded by a stiff-legged, bristling Cor to the Throne Room where the Regis and Clarus of this dimension are. Zack smothers (badly) a giddy laugh at seeing his dad with lion hindquarters (so cliche! Lion King!) and ooing softly over Clarus’s tiger stripes.

-Seph notices something subtly relax in the king despite his bristling tail and the way everyone keeps staring at them like they’re cryptids. That is CONVENIENTLY when Gentiana shows up (as an actual centaur???) and explains that the three of them accidentally slipped through the boundaries between worlds from a nearby world, and that it should wear off within three days time.

-She disappears and the awkward conversations start. It quickly becomes apparent that the ... Taurs are a little bit in awe at the sight of their two-legged status (apparently, as the king explains, all taurs used to be humans but were turned into taurs at the FALL OF SOLHEIM. Cloud wonders if this was how Aerith felt when people gushed over her being an Ancient). It also becomes evident that none of them trust Seph. At all. They keep their eyes on him far more than Zack and Cloud (though Regis does stare at Zack a bit, no doubt it’s weird looking at his son with human legs). Cor looks two steps away from murder at all times while glaring at Seph even as Clarus and Regis argue over where to house them for the three days that will be secure and how to keep this from getting all over the media.

-Finally Cloud snaps at Cor that if he has a problem, come out and say it. Everyone stares at him in astonishment for reasons he can’t fathom (yet) and finally Clarus explains that the Titus Drautos in their universe was a traitor who tried to assassinate Regis and conquer Insomnia. Seph blinks very slowly at that because wat. Why would he work for the people who experimented on him AGAIN. Then he realizes that without his past life memories he probably would have been brainwashed into it yeah. “I can see that,” Seph muses aloud while Zack sputters and Cloud spaces out dangerously at the distance. At the sudden tensing he waves a hand and drawls, “Niflheim and I do not get along.” He pauses, then adds just in case it come up somehow, “I cannot speak for your Titus, but I was forcibly captured out of the Crownsguard, experimented upon, and implanted with an armor unit codenamed Glauca. It did nothing to endear them to me.”

-Zack flings his arms around Seph’s and yells loudly before anyone else can say a word, “He’s mine! You gotta problem with them then fight me!” Zack pauses then adds, “Actually, you gotta problem with him then I’ll sic Prom on you.”

-“I don’t think that’s a very intimidating threat unless you know our Prompto,” Seph points out dryly but Zack loudly shushes him.

-They end up in a guest suite meant for visiting royals, with a few Crownsguard outside to make sure they don’t leave and aren’t disturbed. Of course, because their luck is their luck, the rumors have spread far enough that Regis, Cor, and Clarus are unable to run damage control before the Chocobros of this world hear about it.

-A day into their stay, Regis reluctantly takes the children to visit with Clarus, Cor, and Aulea all as backup. They enter to find all the furniture pushed to the far sides of the room, Titus on one end of the room, all three having what appears to be a mini war complete with battle lines. All three pause in their war, Noctis-Zack calmly dangling from Titus’s fist by his ankle while Prompto-Cloud lies sprawled near the door, feet up by his own head, arms splayed like he’s just been kicked in mid-air and didn’t have time to land right.

-“Are we interrupting something?” Cor asks stiffly. Noctis-Zack just laughs and Cloud attracts more than a few stares as he flips himself upright in a smooth movement utterly impossible for a Taur. Seph casually drops Zack without warning and the boy easily twists to land on his feet. Regis ... reluctantly asks if they would mind meeting their child counterparts plus a few friends, which Zack is all for and the other two fold to his whim. So Regis reluctantly lets the children enter. Noctis thunders up to Zack with bright eyes and gapes at his two-legged status while Cloud finds himself suddenly face to face with 10,000 Rays of Sunshine wearing his face and wagging a tail like a mad thing. Gladio trots up to Noctis while Ignis just kinda watches from next to the adults as the Nocti exchange greetings and then Zack hastily goes to extract Cloud from Prompto, because Cloud looks two inches away from a panic attack and stabbing is not recommended right now (Cor sees the sheer difference between his son and this human version and something in him growls. Why is the human Prompto so quiet, so alert and wary, watching everything, even himself, like it might attack?)

-Prompto deflates a bit at his counterpart’s silence and wariness, not understanding why and Seph breaks the tension by humming, “You know, Zack,” (who is Zack? The Taur adults wonder until human Noctis perks up), “I find myself a bit surprised. I would have been certain that your counterpart wouldn’t be a lion.”

-“Why’s that?” Noctis asks with a head tilt.

-Seph smirks, cool and smug and positively catlike, “Because he’s nothing but a big Puppy.”

-“Oi!” Zack yells but he’s laughing, “I make a great lion!”

-Cloud’s lips twitch against his will and he adds, “Well, this is another dimension. Some differences in temperament are to be expected.”

-Zack puts his hands over his heart with a gasp, blue eyes big and watery, “Cloud- Cloudy- My Cloudy Prompto Cloudy Spiky Buddy! How could you betray me like this??”

-Cloud just raises an eyebrow very slowly.

-Their banter is interrupted by a laugh from Prompto, “You guys are weird,” he says with a tail wag.

-Zack grins back and despite having known his son as a lion cub all his life, Regis can almost see the matching wagging tail on the boy, “You don’t know the half of it! Wanna play something?”

-The kids end up playing a strange mix of tag and the floor is lava (which Ignis RULES at because Ibex and Cloud rules over right behind him because Stubborn Mountain Boi) while Seph watches with fond eyes and finds himself slowly dragged into a conversation with Aulea.

-Some questions are exchanged and answers given, Cor snarls under his breath at the news of Prompto being given up to a neglectful home until finally being adopted by Cor where he belonged, and Regis and Aulea clutch hands when Seph slowly admits that Zack (they’re going by Zack, Cloud, and Seph to differentiate counterparts, claiming it’s an “in joke” and “nicknames”) hasn’t noticed her because he doesn’t recognize her. Queen Aulea died when Zack was a year old.

-But it’s not all sad things with the adults, Seph tells them little anecdotes of his world, and Regis notes how much more ... mellow this Titus is. Cunning yes, and somewhat cold, but not pushy and angry. Much more patient, and there is clear devotion in his eyes as this Titus watches his Noctis and Prompto play.

-Cor ends up sparring with this Titus, because Seph isn’t going to turn down the chance to Throw Hands with a cheetah man anymore than Cor will a human.

-It’s a tie that ends with both of them wheezing and tired on the floor.

-Cloud ends up falling asleep at one point and Prompto flops down next to him and soon they are both out and cuddling. All the Pictures are taken.

-Regis and Aulea are bemused and horrified by just how much of an Energizer Bunny Zack is. Like- HOW. Where do you store it all child and they thought Prompto was bad in his puppy stage.

-The three days end and the three disappear as swiftly as they came, and Zack is gleeful to have all the photo evidence Seph thoughtfully took to prove that YES they went to a world with Taur people and LOOK DAD YOU MAKE AN AWESOME LION. SO DOES MOM. SO DO I. AND HAH IGGY IS A GOAT (Ibex, Cloud corrects with a sigh and is ignored by Zack).

Tagging @robininthelabyrinth because I’m pretty sure Nocturne is your fic? Hope you don’t mind this little silly xover. I just loved the story too much to resist.

[dlamp-dictator]

Quick Thoughts of Strive Beta

Messed around on the beta for about 3 hours between last night and this morning and just wanted to give my thoughts on it so far.

General Things

For those wanting to download the Beta I believe you have to go onto the PSN website itself and search it up. It took all of yesterday to realize this and I’m still mad no instructions actually said this... I pre-order this game dammit.

From what I’ve played the netcode is very good. I think there were only 2 moments the game wouldn’t let me connect with someone. All of my games have been smooth so far with little if any lag.

The look, aesthetics, and animations all look very nice and are done very well. The action feels very fast-paced and bombastic. The explosion and fire effects are stellar and give some very nice feedback to your stronger attacks. Heavier counters have a nice zoom and slow down effect for maximum impact. This game wants to really sell you on that hype dear Lord am I buying it.

I know I was negative on the music of Strive in my last essay, but hearing it within the game itself has me warming up to it. On its own the songs feel a little out of place, but now that I’ve got the game’s beta in my hand and started playing it the music works. It kind of like moving and fighting along to a rock album. I’ve got a particular fondness for Giovanna’s theme now. The chill vibes I get from her theme combined with her personality sell me on her character a bit more now.

General Gameplay Things

I know the devs were saying that they wanted to make this game simpler, or at least more approached, but boy is this game a little more bare compared to Rev2. Just to give a quick rundown, you can only cancel Slash into Heavy Slash, Punch and Kick are more poking tools that can’t cancel into much aside from Specials, but you can also mash out 3 Punches in a row. Punch cannot be canceled into Kick, Slash, or Heavy Slash, nor can Kick cancel into Punch, Slash, or Heavy Slash unless in a Dust combo, not with the characters I was using at least (Ram, Zato, Chip, and Gio). 

However, this is offset by the HUGE damage Slash and Heavy Slash can do, especially if you combo it properly with specials. Ram in particular has some evil stuff she can do with her Dauro loops. It’s a bit more like a more combo-based SamSho where you can be dead in just three or four short combos... just... without the teeth-grinding slowness of Samsho.

I’m a bit torn on this. While I think this kind of gameplay actually works pretty well for what it is, it’s such a different approach to Rev2 and even Accent Core Plus that I wouldn’t blame folks for being dismissive of it. There could be an honest argument for this being flash over substance given the lack of complexity on the surface. Not one I would make given my mixed opinion of Guilty Gear as a whole, but I could see that argument being made.

I think having Throw be 4/6D was probably the smartest move in this game. Now we don’t have to worry about having our 4/6HS command normals accidentally turn into throws and ruin a potential combo.

“Allen, why would you use 4/6HS up close raw? It’s typically very unsafe and can make you eat tons of damage.” 

Hey... shut up.

Speaking of Dust, if it wasn’t a universal overhead before, making it one now gives it a lot more utility. 

Ramlethal Things

I played mostly with Ram in my three hours with the game, so I’ve got the best grasp on how she plays out of the other three characters I messed with.

Ram’s very different from her Rev2 days. She no long has her Tekken-esque combos and a lot of her gameplay is now even more focused around her swords. She’d best at midrange, but can do a few things from close up and far away.

I don’t really like how you can’t call your swords back, but given the damage output when she has them equipped I think it’s a fair enough trade off.

Her Dauro loops are still a thing and boy can you do some mean things with them. 

I don’t really like how a lot of her combos feels like they need a sweep or 2HS to do real damage, this is apparently the case for a lot of characters, but with Ram... I dunno’, I haven’t play around with her enough to be sure but it just feels kinda’ weird.

Mortobato is actually a pretty nice super in terms of utility, but I really miss having Explode. It was the coolest looking super in Ram’s kit back in Xrd.

Her new rekka special is pretty sweet, makes for a nice combo ender after a sweep.

Giovanna Things

I think this is the character I’m going to main in earnest. Ram is fun, but I can actually win matches with Giovanna with some competency since her damage is constant unlike Ram who needs her swords.

Like Chipp, she’s a rushdown character, but with less tools for mobility and is more about nailing people hard and fast with her kicks and staying close with her surprisingly far-reaching specials that can close the gap, at least that’s what I got from her after a few runs in training mode.

Her 6HS rekka looks really cool and I wish I could combo into better.

Apparently she turns all green and gets possessed by her ghost dog when she’s a max Tension, but the game doesn’t explain anything about this.I’m curious, but also annoyed that what looks like a gameplay function is hidden for the beta players. I understand wanting to keep things a surprise, but I’d rather that part of her be removed if it isn’t going to be discussed.

I heard a lot of talk about Giovanna being un-Guilty Gear and boring as a character. I’ve got a lot of negative opinions about these people, but I’ll at least say that after playing her I don’t believe this to be the case. She admitted has few tools, but her playstyle, animations, and character do feel like a Guilty Gear character. Her simplicity is what makes her stand out among all the nuttiness of Guilty Gear. 

Think of it this way, a snarky, deadpanned, straightforward government worker being forced to deal with half-dragon bounty hunters and kings, assassins, sky pirates, ninja presidents, and Faust with only basic martial arts and a ghost dog to keep her on equal footing with the monsters of the cast stands out a lot more if she was quirky. She seems to be the straight man to all the craziness and I think she’ll have a lot of comedic moments with the cast if down well. 

Zato Things

THE TRAILERS FUCKING LIED TO ME THIS IS STILL ZATO -FUCKING- 1

To keep this simple and to keep me from raging, Zato and Eddie still attack in tandem outside of the player’s influence. 5K with Zato will still make Eddie do ”That’s A Lot!”. Doing 5S will still have Eddie do Leap. This is gonna’ need an actual essay to explain in detail, but basically, Eddie is unwieldy in his movement speed and positioning, so properly doing combos with him is very difficult due to how hard it is to position him in your favor.

To be fair, Eddie can only do about two attacks when he’s summoned, and his animations are much clearer to read and react off of for both you and your opponent, but... it feels like all the playing Relius Clover if Ignis moved without your full input. Again, more detail in a proper essay.  

Outside of that, you can actually do some really dirty stuff with Zato with you time things right. They did try to simplify Eddie but... it’s stil Zato-1 man.

Lobby Things

Yeah... this lobby kind of sucks. The aesthetic just looks very cheap compared to how nice the game looks. The blocky avatars don’t have the charming cuteness of Xrd’s avatar designs, and while I do think the method of getting matches is pretty simple, the overall way you do it feels sluggish and unneeded. I really wish Japanese fighting game developers didn’t try to make the lobbies as... immersive as they try to. This stuff peaked with Continuum Shift lobbies and have honestly gone downhill since then.

Overall, I’ve been liking what I’ve played of the beta, but I’m gonna’ need another day or two with it before having a full opinion. But so far so good, I’ve been either liking or appreciating most of the changes and things made, barring a few nitpicks and actual problems.

[wreath-of-laurels]

Summary: In U.A., there’s a bit of a problem with people being related to Villains. In fact, they are having even more of a problem finding people who aren't.

---

As some of you may have noticed, I have been posting links for my AO3 stuff over here. I figure that I should throw in some random thoughts on the writing process here so this post isn’t just a retred for those who already know the work. For those who haven’t read it, I would recommend checking it out if you’re so inclined then come back if you feel like it.

The Problem With Skywalkers is arguably one of the easiest and most popular things that I have ever written which makes it both a wonderful thing and a tiny bit of a frustration. Quite simply it is primarily crack and with the exception of a few bits doesn’t really pretend to be anything else.

As far as I can tell, the idea formed during a discussion about the Dad for One theory at @tsukithewolf​‘s Discord. I made a comment about how it would be a bit awkward if the Dabi is Touya and the Dad for One were both true:

Me: I'm somewhat skeptical of the Dad for One theory, if only because I'm pretty sure Dabi is Touya, and pulling the same trope twice might be a bit much.

Then along comes this annoying/wonderful collaborator who plants a crazy idea in my head.  

Anonymous_Nerb:  lmao all the league just spontaneously adopting family members outa nowhere

bakugou: ...ok, so both deku and icyhot APPARENTLY have villain family members. whos next, fucking round cheeks?? 

uraraka: well, actually...

I make a joke along those lines and then the bastard eggs me on.

Me: The Iidas turn out to be a mob family going back through the generations. Tenya's villainous persona from the training exercise is his normal self. Momo is a resurrected Shimura Hana. Neito is AFO's other long lost son.

Bakugou gets grumpy because his villainous relative was defeated during the USJ arc and isn't suitably badass. 

The Bastard:  i wanna see a fic of this so bad now

aizawa: i would expel you all for the pure bullshittery of your family trees, but giran is my cousin so screw this

And then when I was trying to write my deep and meaningful Hero!Dabi fic, my brain gets hijacked and I can’t stop coming up with crackier and crackier ideas. Many of them just showed up with no prompting whatsoever and others where based on vague connections. Honestly, I think the fic wrote itself.

Giran and Aizawa: All the Bastard’s fault. Thankfully she(?) gave her blessing.

Inasa and Kurogiri: Oboro had a weather Quirk and Inasa sort of does. Also their personalities don’t fit at all so that will be fun.

Koda: I wonder if I how I can throw Nedzu into the mix. Oh yeah, Koda can talk to animals. 

Shigaraki and Momo: Hmmm... Didn’t I read a fic with that a while back?

Seiji and Mr. Compress: They make ball-like things. Why not?

Midnight and Moonfish: They both have kinky dress sense.

Vlad and Toga: Gotta do that one!!!

Also the whole bonding experience between Dabi and Shouto is completely @gentrychild​‘s fault for her hilarious and well-worth the read How to murder your father fic. 

That being said, since this is me and I am physically incapable of writing humour without drama and drama without humour (seriously, my ‘meaningful’ Dabi fic has him whining about phallic grafitti and being bossed around by his younger siblings), I end up throwing in a few serious sections with Uraraka and Eri bits. 

As I came close, I noticed a problem with the fic: the Dabi is Touya theory is much too plausible to blend in with the rest. So I naturally, I couldn’t let that stand. 

As for why Dabi didn’t say anything when Shouto showed up and tried to bond with him? I figure Dabi is used to hanging out with nutty people (himself included) so a kid insisting on calling him Niisan is pretty much a Tuesday for him. Besides the kid wants to kill Endeavor? He’s cool with that.

Honestly, I was rather weirded (but thrilled) out by how well people responded to the story. It was my first attempt at writing full-on crack, I wrote it in under fifteen hours, and didn’t expect it to be arguably the most popular thing that I’ve written. 

As for the frustration I mentioned, some of it is the common writer thought process of ‘I worker five zillion hours on this other fic and two on this one. Why the hell is the two hour one so popular?!!!!’

Yeah, I know: it’s a dumb reason to complain. This from me who genuinely likes the fic and thinks it turned out way better than I was expected. Go figure. I’ll go cry myself a river now.

The other bit is that my crazy inspiration disappeared after I finished it and I kind of needed it for my other projects... *sigh* That’s the life.

For those who are curious to the various cultural references used in this fic, they are:

The super intelligent mice are from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

‘Please note all of the former relations include in-laws, step-family, adopted family, family of choice, pets and father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommates.‘ is a reference to Mel Brooks’ Star Wars parody Space Balls.

Pretty much the all the subtitles are inspired by Terry Prachett’s (RIP) Discworld. Prachett is arguable the authors who has influenced me the most both in my writing style and my way of looking at the world.

Well, Star Wars of course.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Okay…

… I feel very bitter right now.

But I am going to be eternally frustrated by the fact that as far as I could tell, Aruto’s (and therefore Izu’s) definition of ‘heart’ was ‘happy making humans happy.’

Or… ‘Seeing that humans are ultimately good’?

Really, just… I define a heart as ‘feeling emotions.’ Feeling emotions is useless unless you know how to handle them, which Horobi didn’t, and no one seemed at all invested in teaching him how. Just made him feel worse and worse, pressured him about something that terrified him and pushed him over the edge, and then a human who really should have known better went and grabbed the fucking Ark Key??? Like. Horobi’s somehow completely at fault for Izu pestering him until he lashed out like any emotionally immature child or even animal would and then she doesn’t move out of the way even though she easily could have, but Aruto grabbing the psycho Key and going nutty is ‘totally understandable bc grief.’

For one thing, wtf would Horobi believe Izu’s nonsense, she’s programmed to love and obey Aruto, and she never develops anywhere past that. He knows she’d say anything to save her beloved master. She has no identity out of ‘exists to serve Aruto and occasionally be cutesy.’ Listen, Takahashi, you need to work on your female characters when you resurrect one w/ no memory and she’s exactly the same.

My lack of sympathy for Izu’s ‘death’ is bc it could easily have been prevented by multiple other people even if Horobi did literally nothing different, and bc literally nothing was lost. If any of the humans had actually used that compassion they sing to the skies about, you know, like, the fact that they have years of practice knowing how to feel and control emotions. I’m sorry but, ‘did you feel Izu’s pain?’ Well, first off, no, bc she didn’t seem pained at all, she just kinda stood there parroting Aruto’s bs, but… What about feeling Horobi’s pain? Or… Was Izu being ‘sad’ Horobi didn’t magically forgive humanity for everything they put him through and took from him more important than him having being mind raped, controlled, conditioned, and abused for twelve years? ‘I believe in your heart’ you mean you ‘believe’ he’s going to magically switch around and conform to your views that humans are ultimately good and anything bad they do can be excused bc they teach you about ‘hearts’? Meanwhile, none of her memories changed her at all. She gazes lovingly at Aruto, she participates in his jokes… There was pretty much nothing to her other than ‘loves Aruto.’ Her character fell into the trap of KR’s general attitude toward female characters that they exist to be pure angels who unfailingly believe in the hero and the series’ attitude toward AI, that the definition of ‘goodness’ for them is completely devotion to humans and unrealistic purity and benevolence.

The question should never have been ‘will AI have benevolence towards humans’ but ‘do humans deserve it?’ ‘what can we do to justify that?’ Why do HumaGear have to ‘prove their worth’ and ‘teach humans to be nice to them’ but humans don’t have to… Like… Know how to be decent? Aruto’s sympathies and dreams for HumaGear were exclusively rooted in how they benefitted humans. He expects the ‘hearts’ they develop to be completely ‘pure’ and ‘benevolent’ even if humanity has given them no reason to be so.

Horobi was the most aware of how horrible the Ark was. Everything he did, he did bc he was conditioned to believe it was right for HumaGear. Bc he saw the cruelty of humanity, and wanted to protect his people from it. He was conditioned/programmed to react w/ absolutes and extremes. He didn’t turn on the Ark bc he realised humans were actually ‘good’ he did it bc she turned on HumaGear, and he fought bc he loved HumaGear. His love for HumaGear, for Jin, was stronger than her control. That was it.

But he also knew that she was created by humans. Deliberately. It doesn’t matter that Gai had a personality one eighty bc the satellite printed him a dog and Aruto’s only for humans AI therapist talked to him for a hot minute. This shit doesn’t work like that, Gai should be at least facing jail time for his part in things. Yotacrappy’s response was to manipulated Jin into trying to kill him as a sacrifice, even after the Ark was out of the picture. Not a single person reacted w/ ‘maybe we should give this poor AI who has literally had his entire mind and life fucked over by humans and has no reason to like us a bit of kindness and support to help deal w/ the emotions he’s suddenly feeling.’ Izu’s speech was kinda close, but the tone was ultimately ‘she’s right and he’s wrong.’ The attitude shouldn’t be that ‘humans can sometimes be beneficial, so that makes the wrong they do okay.’ The fact that they tried to pretend that even the most twisted humans were ‘actually just misguided’ was ridiculous.

Horobi’s suffering was real and valid, and deserved recognition beyond ‘lol, but humans are actually nice, tho.’ He was scared and confused, but no one was trying to help him through that, they were just belittling the very valid reasons he had to be angry at humans. Rather than being like ‘I understand you’re angry and in pain and those are valid feelings, but there’s a better way to do this’ the response was either aggression or ‘no, you’re wrong, they teach us to want them to be happy and to dream or serving them well!’ (pretty much what Aruto’s definition of ‘good HumaGear’ seemed to be). And then even the people who should understand the most how her feels act like he’s spreading a ‘shocking’ and ‘bad’ thought by offering HumaGear a chance to stand up for themselves. I really hate how the protests were treated as Horobi spreading ‘malice’ to the HuamGear and all conveniently disappeared when Aruto ‘won.’

Again. The Frozen quote is eternally accurate for Aruto’s ‘dream.’ ‘It’ll be just like it was except for we’ll be best friends.’

Aruto’s dream was never equality or freedom for HumaGear. What he wanted was for them to go back to work for humans w/ smiles painted on their faces to make humans happy. HumaGear’s meaning in life shouldn’t be to ‘be useful to humans.’ I wasn’t expecting the ending to be ‘everything is okay now,’ but I was under the impression that there would be some kind of motion toward HumaGear getting some rights and protections or respect by virtue of being, like, living beings rather than needing to work and be ‘useful’ to justify their existence. Aruto is very face value, he thinks that the programmed personalities humans give HumaGear are their ‘true natures’ when they’re not, they’re just a starting point. They need to branch out. The fact that Izu’s entire life just revolved around benefiting Aruto made it hard to sympathise w/ her in place of the more interesting and dynamic characters. The fact that Aruto tries to claim HumaGear are his ‘employees’ when the definition of that word literally is ‘someone who works for a wage’ and people pay his company to get HumaGear to work for them and he delivers them to people in boxes… It’s just ridiculous. They shouldn’t have to just be ‘perfect pure forgiving little angels’ just bc humans made them and occasionally are nice to them? Izu’s data was just as biased as Horobi’s, they should have met in the middle rather than her being painted as ‘right’ and ‘good’ for only thinking of humans as good.

Yes, Horobi should have responded w/ violence, but literally no one even tried to put real effort into showing him other ways to react, or to help him through what happened to him. They either shouted at him, put him down, invalidated his suffering (admittedly bc she was just as out of balance maturity-wise as he was), or outright tried to kill him. Any child or animal will lash out when stressed or panicked. It is the responsibility of the people w/ more awareness to know what they’re dealing w/ and act accordingly. Izu knew he was armed, she saw the weapon pointed at her, she had plenty of time to move, and choose not to. That was not Horobi’s fault. It also wasn’t Horobi’s fault that humans decided to not give her a back up to benefit themselves. How was he even supposed to know that? Where was Aruto? Why was he running around outside trying to make the other HumaGear go back to his definition of ‘normal,’ while telling them there’s ‘no reason to fight anymore,’ which really should be their decision??? If he really cared and wanted to help Horobi and saw HumaGear as people, wouldn’t he have run in and tried to properly talk Horobi down? Then we have Yua’s hypocrisy of reacting aggressively to Horobi and them giving a speech to Yotacrappy for reacting the exact same way to the protests. And then Fuwa literally shooting down the one time Horobi genuinely tried to reach out… While kinda in character… Definitely did not help. Horobi was never in a place to parse out implications.

Basically, they pushed Horobi over the edge, then blamed him for being broken. Meanwhile, they have all sorts of ‘compassion’ and ‘understanding’ for Aruto and it’s ‘not his fault’ bc ‘grief.’ The attitude that Horobi’s suffering at the hands of the Ark was less important than Aruto’s trained AI letting herself get shot? The fact that Horobi, however horribly they influenced him to think he was completely at fault, was willing to ‘forgive’ humans for everything he suffered through bc of them… Is much more compassion than Aruto ever showed him.

Horobi had every right to be angry w/ humans and blame them for their part in what he went through. And humans never admitted responsibility for that, and never apologised to him.

But he’s supposed to need forgiveness from them?