#ALSO SOMETHING ABOUT HOW SHE PROBABLY ALSO KNOWS CHARLES SINCE HE WAS VERY LITTLE THATS SO CUTE

[vroom-vrooms]

I love when I see a random Instagram post and see Max’s mom liked it, it’s like a jump scare in the best way

Yesterday I saw a Leo Leclerc post and had to do a double take to see Sophie had liked it, and she doesn’t even follow Leo which I thought was funny, but she does follow Charles, which is even funnier

[everythingne]

out of the woods, 5 (ls2)

With clear favoritism boosting all of Ferrari's tactics, Dhanishka makes a difficult decision after a crash causes her to see the true colors of her team. Logan sweeps in to save the day.

series masterlist

warnings/notes: mistreatment of Dhanishka by Ferrari, car accidents with very minor injuries, this chapter was originally twice the length.... i had to cut half of it for next chapter LMAO, wrote this instead of doing my finals !

(ch4) (ch6)

--

The little room they've shoved us all into for media is more crowded than I want it to be. The Chinese GP was off to a rocky start already, with downpour rains all day on Thursday. I'm looking for Charles, turned in on myself even in the room full of flashing lights as I try to hide from the world. I want nothing to do with media. I know its going to be a shit show, and my stomach churns and knots until I make eye contact with Logan across the room. A weird wave of calm hits me, before its also sprinkled with anixety.

We haven't spoke since he kicked me out.

I swallow my pride and smile at him, and though I note his smile isn't full, he does still return one. I can tell he senses my apprehension as he nods, and he excuses himself from Oscar and Alex's sides to cross the small, cramped room. I manage to slip through a wall of reporters surrounding Max, nearly being shoved aside before I'm grabbed and pulled and into the firm protective hold of Logan. Instinctively, his arm wraps tight around my waist as he brings me to his chest. My hands find his shoulders and slide across in a hug as he leans his head down to whisper,

"You look terrified, Isa." His hand squeezes my waist and leaves the skin tingly, as if he's shocked it with little electrodes hidden in his finger tips. All his lingering touches feel like that, they have since I was seventeen.

"I am." I say back to him as I pull back from the hug just enough for us to look at eachother, "It's first media day after we announced this whole... thing."

Logan nods and then sighs, bringing the hand thats not still clutching my waist up to comb through his hair, "This is probably the worst possible time to bring that up, but I'm sorry for just..."

He trails off and before he can finish, I shake my head softly and give him the tiniest reassuring smile I can muster. He quiets at the soft expression on my face as I bring one hand down from his shoulders to pat his forearm, before squeezing it as I speak,

"No, Logan. I should've told you from the beginning what I wanted. It was wrong of me to string you along like that," and I hesitate before adding, "I don't regret it, if you're scared about that, too."

He seems taken aback by my apology, but before we can say more, we're split apart by media duties. I try to turn back to say something when he grabs my wrist to pull me back to him and from Charles, who turns back with a confused look. Even I'm confused, before I'm laughing as Logan's planting a goodbye kiss on my cheek with a softy murmur of 'keeping up the look.' And no matter how hard I try, I can't find a logical defense for my blush.

So of course, Charles teases me about it, which is caught on nearly every camera in our direction as we're brought to the little media pen this time. Luckily out of the grabbing range of asshole reporters and the people who want a headline.

And the first reporter for me is luckily The Ophelia Piastri.

"Danny..!" She sings, handing me a microphone labeled 'VOGUE' as she steps in, ever so elegantly, next to me.

"Hi, Ophie." I smile, leaning in to give her a tight hug. Luckily during media I didn't have to wear my team uniform, so I had been dressed to the nines in the white and red Ferrari dress-jacket-thing, with the little cape thing on the back. I knew I looked good, which is why I assumed Ophelia had grabbed me before she went off to find Lewis.

"Since we last spoke, quite a bit has happened, but lets talk about this outfit?"

"So, this is Ferrari, of course. I cannot remember the name of the jacket for the life of me. It's a white leather trench coat with a red silk trim, Ferrari's black boots with, of course, the red trim, and a black Ferrari purse. I am completely Ferrari today."

"You look stunning, the red of the Ferrari suits has always looked good on your but this pop? Stunning, brilliant, we love to see it."

Her interview is a bit longer than I'm expecting, mostly because we keep getting off track, and then I'm pulled away and into the mass of the boring, normal interviews.

It's Sky News who comes to be annoying, some reporter I don’t recognize. I glance over to Logan, who is on my left side down a bit in the media pen and find him staring. He looks away quickly and I bite back a laugh as Charles knocks my shoulder with his to keep me paying attention. I miss the reporter introducing himself but don’t miss the way Charles tightens his grip on my wrist.

“Any specific reason you were spotted in London last weekend?” The man asks me, holding the microphone towards me and I shrug with a tiny smile.

“Just making some visits to my friends, is all. I also had some media responsibilities.” I reply calmly and catch Logan’s eye again, this time my look lingers long enough to see him try to mouth something to me before the reporter talking pulls me away again.

“A certain driver seems to have caught your eye, though, are we correct to assume there’s some heat between you and a certain Williams driver?” The man smiles almost predatory and Charles taps the back of my arm to signal me to move back as he eyes the reporter with a confused look. As I fall back, I let a soft laugh tumble out of my lips as I realize it’s fucking Anthony Davis and that’s why both Logan and Charles have stopped to watch.

“Thought my instagram post was pretty clear,” I chime once I find my footing and push my emotions back, “if that hallway stuff you released to press as blackmail against Logan to do that interview with you wasn’t already enough.”

Charles is staring like I’ve just cursed this man out, I think I can hear Lando laughing somewhere off to the side.

“We’re done with you, thanks sir, make sure to tell David I said hi.” I grin forcibly, watching as Anthony’s face grows in anger. Charles steps between us, asking Anthony to leave and I allow myself a reprieve here to look around. Logan gives me a little smile and an appreciative nod, which I return, before I’m being pulled away by PR.

-

Qualifying brings back Ferrari’s curse.

Charles tires go and he nearly crashes out right before the end and my back wing is broken by the time I’m done. With the challenges we faced, we both do qualify higher than expected which does make me feel a bit better.

After standing and talking about the car and strategy for way too long, I’m let loose to the solstice of my drivers room. The pristine and almost shockingly tidy room is a safe haven as most the chaos of this weekend and I allow myself to relax as I slowly get myself undone from the race.

I change and take my hair out of its now frizzy braid, taking the time to brush it as I stick my head under the sink faucet to wet my hair. I’m wringing it out as I hear a knock on my door.

“Come in!” I call, grabbing a towel to place over my shoulders as the door pops open and I’m greeted with the soon to be Norris’ couple.

I gawk, “How did you both get in here?”

“Charles owed me a favor for all the times I’ve snuck him into Red Bull.” Olivia shrugs as she pops her purse down next to me on the couch, “and Lando doesn’t like me walking the paddocks by myself anymore.”

“That fucking reporter.”

“Don’t.” Olivia points at Lando, who huffs, and she then crosses the room to sit next to me on the couch before Lando can snag the seat. Olivia continues to speak after pausing to sip her drink, “good take down of Anthony today, little debutante."

“Ah. Thank you.” I laugh softly, brushing my hair with the same red brush, eyes glancing over to Lando and Olivia as I try to keep my blush to a minimum. Olivia's soft compliment made my heart skip, as any praise did. It was hard to come by it in this sport and I was honestly happy it was Olivia who was supporting me like this.

“How’re you feeling? You did pretty good for a busted car. I saw how fucked that rear wing was when I was pulling in the pits after Q1.” Lando continues the conversation and I shrug, turning at Olivia's cue so she can start to braid my hair for me. It's weirdly like having my mom or sister do it, I hate how much it makes me miss home.

“It sucks I’m not higher. Wallahi, I'm so tired of this." I complain, rolling my eyes back as I try and keep myself calm. Frustration wouldn't get me anywhere here, "they’ve been harping on me all season about getting back to the level I was at in Bahrain. And they're acting as if every race since, I haven’t had terrible car issues! Sorry you guys fucked up my car!"

"Sounds like Ferrari." Olivia hums, "I think I've heard both Charles and Carlos say this same thing over the years."

"Maybe talk to Charles about it, he'd know Ferrari better than I would." Lando suggests, watching his fiance as she finishes off my braid and then squeezes my shoulders and pulling me back to rest on her chest as she lazily wraps her arms around me. Lando kicking his legs up to rest on my lap as he yawns into the back of his hand.

"I have been, he's been a huge help, but it's still ridiculous." I complain, smushed against Olivia's Red Bull tee as I close my eyes to fight off the stress migraine forming. I complain for a bit longer, Olivia convincing me to talk to Charles about my frustrations once again. But by the time I've gone off to find him, I notice his attention being held by Fred and some of the engineers. Even when I try to get him away, he's continuously pulled back with soft sorry's thrown over his red clad shoulders.

I go to bed that night with a migraine. The next day I nearly crash twice when my tires are too worn but they won't box me, and sulk in my drivers room after due to losing my podium position. Sure, I finished a lucky P9 for my car issues... but I was fighting with Max in P2 when my rear tires decided they hated me.

I ask so many times to be boxed. It’s not the first time they refuse to pull me into the pits, but it’s the most dangerous. I have no grip, I have nothing but prayers and maybe a bit of luck because I don’t crash out.

And when Aakash is not supportive over the radio, maybe I lose my cool, and maybe that’s what causes half the garage to give me the cold shoulder as I get out of the car. I do what’s needed, barely speak, don’t smile, and then retreat to my room with the hope of my anger dissipating.

When my frustrations don't wear off, even after I snag the treadmill to sprint until my legs are jello, I go to try and find Charles for our little private post-race debrief. I need him in this moment like a fish needs water, the debriefs we have been having being the only thing keeping me from losing my mind in Ferrari. I spot him in the garage still, but he's being held captive by the team. They engross themselves in deep plans for his racing, smiling and waving hands in excitement. I notice no one had come to grab me and swallow the sick feeling in my gut.

"What about Dhanishka?" Charles asks, eyes flickering over to meet mine and I feel the pull to enter the conversation until Fred shakes his head and squeezes his golden boys shoulder, saying,

"Dhanishka comes second to you, Charles. You are more important than some girl. We'll use her to help you..."

Fred's voice fades out as I swallow hard, my hands shaking immediately in a mix of rage and embarrassment. How could I have been so stupid?

And when Charles snaps his head up to meet my eyes after a moment, I've already turned to rush down the hall. Tears prick in my eyes at my own stupidity, that I felt like I belonged in this red building. Sure, it was something off hand, maybe he didn't mean it the way he said it, but it was enough to frustrate me to tears.

If I cry one more time before the end of May, someone might get strangled.

I retire to my hotel room early that night. Even when all I wanna do it party, I choose not to join anyone in the festivities, and ignore the mass amounts of messages blowing up my phone asking why I'm not at the after party. I ignore the world, let the sun set into black skies as I stay tucked in my bed--still in my fireproofs. I can't bring myself to move, a mix of anxiety in my gut and genuine pain in my body keeping me in the plush blankets. My parents call to congratulate me, I humor them with a tired smile and blame it on the time zones. I pretend I'm asleep when I see Anya tries to call me twice. I can't lie to her.

I have to ignore her so they think I'm doing fine. I can't worry them about me turning into the monster I had been after Trident again. But that monster claws at the restraints and slowly breaks them.

Hours later, not that I would know the time, someone knocks at my door. I ignore it, even as the muffled voices call for me and ask if I'm alright. I just stay still, tucked up to my chin in blankets, until someone scans a card in the door and begins to let themselves in. I jump, preparing to throw my phone in defense, when it's Danny who pops his head in.

"Just checking to see if you're alive, mini-me." He smiles, opening the door a bit more so from my vantage on the bed, I can see Charles and Logan behind him. I know they all see I'm still wearing everything I had on at the track, and I see remorse in Charles' eyes when he sees my state, but I shake it off.

"I have a bad migraine, but I'm alive." I say, choosing for that to be the reason as to why I was laying in the dark. Not because I felt too tired to get up to turn the light on, or that I felt my seventeen year old rage returning.

"Need anything?" Logan asks, feather soft, before the others can. I hate how I can see him noticing all my soft lines turning hard. I just sit there, then I shrug when I realize they're expecting an answer.

"Just some sleep. I'll see you guys next race weekend." I wave them off, yawning into the back of my hand. Logan steps into the door frame, welcoming himself in. I don't argue as he crosses the room to sit on the edge of my bed, pressing his hand to my temple.

"You're not sick." He murmurs, "just a stress migraine this time, then?"

"You--huh?" I blink and Logan smiles party, a soft blush on his cheeks only illuminated by the light in the hallway.

"You always get migraines when you're stressed or when you've got a fever, Isa." He squeezes my wrist, watching my face carefully, "If you don't feel hot when you have a migraine, it's just stress."

“It’s just… it’s been a rough weekend and I kinda snapped after the race ‘cause this migraine won’t go away.” I lie half now, Logan seems to buy it a bit more as he leans forward and gently pulls some of my stray hairs back behind my ears—settling them how he knows I like it.

“You did really well for all the issues you were having. Can’t beat yourself up over something you can’t control, Danny.” Daniel says from the doorway where he and Charles lean, I squint when I look towards them in the light and see while Danny looks full of concern—Charles looks sick.

“I know. It’s just been a hard adjustment.” I shrug and Logan nods.

“Adjustings a bitch.” he says and I laugh. About twenty minutes later they leave, after Charles runs down to grab a Doordash they force me to order. Logan calls me much later, telling me to sleep so I don’t feel like shit tomorrow.

We talk on the phone for so long he ends up sleeping in the same bed as me, arm wrapped loosely around my waist as my head is tucked in the crook of his neck. It’s safe. It’s definitely not platonic, but it’s safe, and it’s what I need.

--

-

So far it's been:

Bahrain, P3,

Saudi, P5,

Australia, P8,

Japan, P4,

China, P7,

and now it's Miami, where I land a solid P10 after Carlos clearly attempts to knock me off the track entirely and runs me into the gravel. I have to fight for my way back up from P20. I'm impressed with the run some of the back drivers give me (especially Haas and Alpine) but I'm frustrated in general with my finish.

Because what could've been more is fucked over when Carlos in P9 swings purposefully wide and damages my front wing.

"It's not fair!" I complain to Charles as I pace the length of my tiny drivers room, "I don't know what he has against me!"

"Isa," Charles sighs, running a hand through his hair, "Be proud of what you did accomplish, a wonderful ten place overtake in only seven or so laps! You did amazing tonight, even with that fuck up!"

"You've been podium every race except for Australia when Oscar beat you and Max." I snip, whipping around so hard my braid whacks the side of my face, "What I would do to be able to get up there... its just annoying some drivers have made it their agenda to get me off the track! Carlos has no reason to nearly knock me off the track multiple times today!"

"Carlos is frustrated Ferrari dropped him for you. He'll pretend to be amicable over at Mercedes but he's fucking miserable." Charles sighs, "Ferrari's been no help either, they've yet to pay him the rest of his contract."

"Well how is that my fault, Charles!" I ask, groaning softly as I bury my head in my hands and come to sit next to him. It's not like I had told Ferrari to pick me, it had been a huge surprise they had. Charles has no answer and I just huff and lean back into the couch's plush surface and hide my face.

"I'm miserable too." I complain into the air, and it's frustrating to admit it. Charles can tell I don't wanna talk about it, so he just pulls me to his side and lets me curl up there. I feel like a child, but I feel safe.

—

Miami proves to be more difficult than I expected.

I had qualified really well, starting in P4 with Max, Charles, and Lando ahead of me. I was holding my own during the race, but Ferrari wasn't clearing me to pass Charles to try and take P2. Which is honestly the least of my worries right now. Aakash has been non-exsistant on the radio today, barely answering as per usual. I was basically using my own strategy at this point, pulling off of tips I had been given by Charles for this track.

And everything is surprisingly going well.

“Woah!” I shout, turning clear of whoever is in the Alpine that’s stuck half off the gravel, I make some sort of contact but not enough to deter me, “Alpine is down on the track, hit him, I think front damage? Rear wing is still locked in DRS.”

“Understood. Possible red flag coming up, use these last seconds to try and secure position.” Aakash says into my headset and I reply back with a soft ‘copy’ as I go to turn normally but for some reason I find that I whip to the side—under steering hard. Luckily, by pure coincidence, it keeps Oscar behind me and secures a place in P3 behind Charles. But the car isn’t driveable in this state, extremely dangerous, and my hands shake as I struggle to press down my radio button while holding the wheel steady.

“My steering is going out!” I curse, trying to stabilize myself—waiting for a red flag or a safety or something. Where the fuck is this safety car for the crash?

“How bad is it?” Aakash asks and I grit my teeth as I pull into the next turn. I curse softly, breaking a bit harder than I need to but managing somehow to keep Oscar behind me. I think he knows to stay back, that something is clearly wrong,

“Terrible, terrible! I can’t fight like this!” I snap, groaning as we move now to a straightaway. Oscar comes to my left and I steer towards, Aakash is calling that the flag is flying and the safety car has been deployed, but my eyes are on Oscar as he tries to maneuver around the other side but I cut him off again—or try to.

I steer too hard, clipping the front of Oscar’s tire on the slick of the still drying Florida rain and spinning out. I feel the gravel as the car spins and then the world rocks when I hit the wall. I can't breathe for a moment, breath caught in my chest as I grip my seatbelts. No one calls over the radio for a moment, and then,

"Dhanishka, is the car okay?"

"Fuck you." Is my reply as I grab my restraints and slowly unclick them. It's agony to move as I take out my steering wheel and pop it on the top of the car, hoisting myself up and nearly buckling back down into the car in pure pain. I manage to get myself out by the time medics arrive, they take me to medical to get checked and it's like I'm not even worried about. No one from Ferrari comes to check on me.

I limp myself back to the paddock, guarded by McLaren employees and followed closely by Lando and Olivia--who is softly scolding the FIA in her phone. Her voice thick in frustration over Ferrari's dismissal of me, her hand on my lower back supporting me as I walk. Once they get me back to Ferrari, Olivia forces her way in to escort me to my drivers room.

"I'm gonna get them fined for this bullshit." Olivia mutters, helping me sit down on my bed. I don't reply as she hands me a change of clothes and then gives me a soft hug, the painkillers slowly kicking in and making my dull pain fade. Once I feel a bit better, I wave her off to go home and she reluctantly does.

And my migraine flares when Aakash knocks, entering my room. He's still got his headphones on, and I bite back about thirty insults as he crosses his arms.

"Feel better?"

"No." I huff, "and your precious car is fine."

"Listen, we're pushing you because we need you to be a better driver." The mechanic looks at me, arms taught over his chest and I wish it was still Ami in charge of my comms.

"I don't understand what you want from me!" I shout in frustration, my hand itching to throw my helmet across the room at him. I’m not violent, I never have been, I don’t understand why I’m so short of breath. It feels like the rage in my belly fights to be fed by all the oxygen in my lungs, my hands shaking as he slam my helmet down and punch the plush surface of my bedding.

“Dhanishka—“ Aakash tries and I whip around, pointing at him and watching his face fill with shock as I finally snap under the pressure of the weekend.

“No, listen to me! [You all love Charles, treat him like your golden child! He coughs and you all run to get medicine, but when I am out there and I am struggling and nearly dying, you do nothing! I fought with a broken wing and a fucked up steering wheel and what help did I get?!]” I snap at him in my mother tongue, watching his face fill with something like horror as I step even closer, “[None of you were there for me! You all went to coddle poor Charlie—he was fine! I was the one who suffered for you! Where is my help? You have all done this the whole season!]”

“[Charles was frustrated—]”

I cut Aakash off, screaming, “[And I nearly killed myself out there because none of you would help! Do you think I wasn’t also frustrated?!]”

“Listen, I—“

“Get the fuck out of my room! I’m not doing media! I’m going the fuck back to my hotel.” I snap and Aakash listens, quickly ducking out of the room. I rip off my suit and throw it in my bag and I get changed into my street clothing, only pausing to touch up my makeup. I pass by Charles coming back from podium with a cold shoulder and shove through the crowd to my car, digging out my keys and getting in. I sit there, hands tight on the wheel for a while, and my fingers start to go numb as I feel like my brain is shutting off and going into autopilot.

I just sit back and watch, like a movie goer, as the world around me fades in my mind.

I come back to my senses sharply, knees digging into the tile as I’m sitting on the floor in the bathroom. I can feel the remenants of a panic attack shaking off my limbs, leaving them staticky. My hands shaking at the slamming at the door to my hotel room.

“Isa!”

There’s only one man who calls me that.

I try to shout that I’m gonna let him in but the words are caught in my throat, and I hear him echo and think I’m going crazy as I whine into the bathroom air. Then I realize I’m clutching my phone tight enough to shatter the screen and Logan’s contact is up—blazing bright into my face.

“Lo…?” I wheeze and I hear him pause mid knock before he shuffles and—

“Isa?” He crackles into the phone screen and I nearly sob at the familiarity of his voice.

“I-Give me a second. I’m coming to the door.” I whisper, slowly raising to my feet and stumbling out into the hall as my senses fight to try and come back to me in full. My hands are numb when I un-deadbolt the door and I barely have enough time to step back after I pop the door open. In a flash, Logan is everything around me, tucking me against his chest, his hand carding through my hair, kicking the door shut behind us and sighing softly.

“Oh, Isa—“ He murmurs into my hair and I feel the numbness snap away in favor of tears as I bury into his grasp and sob. I have cried more since starting F1 than I have in my entire life.

“Oh, Isa, I’m so sorry they’ve turned you into me.” Logan presses his hands to either side of my face, lifting me back so I can look at him. I remember how a week ago I was afraid of loving him, how I was terrified I'd lose him, and yet here he was as stubborn and comforting as always.

"I can't do this Logan." I hiccup, letting him bring me into his arms once more, kisses trailing my forehead as he keeps me locked in tight, "I can't take another day of this comparing bullshit! They hate me, all of them in Ferrari. I don't even know if I still have Charles."

"Charles aactually spoke to me this morning about getting you out of Ferrari." Logan murmurs into my hair and I step back, wiping my face as I blink at him.

"What?"

"Ferrari is using you as a way to push Charles up and he hates it. He was seeing who is staying in what teams for next season. Alex might be moving, Williams might have an open seat, and I might've helped to convince them to write 'Dubey' on it." Logan wipes some tears I missed and smiles, kissing my forehead again and I lean into every soft touch of his, "Obviously, they still need to talk to you, but I can set up that meeting if you need help with that."

When I don't reply with words, but rather the quick press of my red lips to his, his eyes widen in shock and a giggle erupts from the back of my throat.

"Have I ever told you that you're amazing?" I whisper, watching blush peek on his cheeks as he wipes a few more tears from my splotchy face and grins.

"A few times, but I don't mind hearing it over and over again.” he grins.

--

f1 made a new post!

liked by oscarpiastri, anyadubey, logansargeant, and 697k others...

f1: hours after it was announced that @ scuderiaferrari is being investigated for mistreatment of @ dhanishkadubey, Dubey announced her departure from the team in the next season, citing 'differing opinions' as the reason for the split.

dhanishkadubey: love u tifosi thank u for an incredible rookie year so far <3

logansargeant: 👀

user1: run girl run

user2: that didn't take long.

charlesleclerc: je te souhaite le meilleur pour ton avenir, petite étoile xx

user3: WAIT?? IS SHE CONTRACTED FOR 2025 BC IT DOESNT SAY SHES LEAVING ENTIRELY??

user4: WHO IS TAKING MY POOKIE.

--

taglist (open, and thank you to those on it now!)

@chasing-liberosis @justsomejess @struggling-with-delia

[snalz-artt]

forgot to post this doodle SAY HELLO to the shittiest bbc ghosts/mcyt au ever conceived, thankyou @/luigra for helping hehe

i have A LOT to say so its going under the cut this is soso silly

basic bbc ghosts plot: A young woman inherits a huge mansion estate in england from a dubious familial connection and moves in with her husband. They plan to renovate the manor and guesthouses to make into a hotel/venue, but when she falls out a window and almost dies, she comes back to life with the ability to See Ghosts. With the house being very historic, there are quite a few interesting characters (the falling out the window thing might be their fault, actually). Hijinks ensue.

———

CLEO: Cleo is the Allison of the story, she inherits the house and falls out the window, now.. undead(?) they can see and interact with the cast of Ghosts they’re now stuck with. Making ZombieCleo one of the Alive characters was too funny, sorry.

SCOTT: Scott is Mike!! Cleo’s best friend/partner/chosen soulmate (like in double life), he Cannot see the ghosts but completely trusts they exist.

They get up to various antics as they try to renovate and market the place, usually while being hindered or helped by the ghosts. I haven’t thought of a good pun on the name Button House yet though..

The ghosts are not all from any specific series, but a selection of ghosts/dead characters from multiple mcyt sources ^^

JOE: Joseph Hills takes the role of Thomas Thorne. He is a dramatic regency era poet who mostly follows Cleo around, trying to impress her with his… unique poetry, that was considered before his time. Their ghost theming comes from Beetlejhost of course.

RANBOO: Ronald Booth is Pat, a 1980’s Scout Leader. To be honest, this is just because Ranboo is very associated with the 80’s aesthetic and can fit the silly yes-man subordinate role, and of course was a ghost on the dsmp (Boo).

BDUBS: Bdubs is Robin!! A caveman who lived on the land well before the house was built. He’s seen it all, which fits Bdubs’ storyteller theme!! This is also just a fun visual choice because instead of wearing animal furs he gets to wear a big mossy coat. He also talks in a quite a unique and funny way which could replace how Robin talks like. Yknow, a Caveman. There was also a tiny bit in.. last life? Where bdubs was a ghost? (We were running out of ghosts at this point.)

SLIME: Charles Slime is Humphrey Bone, a headless tudor nobleman!!! Slime has a pretty constant track record of dying dramatically in mcyt (dsmp, epic smp, slimecicle cinematic universe) hence getting to be a ghost here. He has a lot of comedy that i think fits pretty well with being a ghost and with the visual humour of having your body separate to your head <3

FLIPPA: Juanaflippa as Jemima!!! I had to get one of the Eggs in here, even if i dont know much about qsmp at this point its just too perfect for one of them to be Jemima, since we have Charlie why not have Juanaflippa ^^ This can fit the common bbc ghosts fanon of Humphrey being found family for Jemima, with Charlie and Flippa’s father-daughter relationship. Creepy little singing ghost girl!!!

QUACKITY/MEXICAN DREAM: Yeah ok we were really running out of mcyt ghosts at this point, if you dont know anything about the dsmp you would probably think im making this up- uh, quackity plays him, he died and became a very prominent dsmp ghost. He takes the role of Julian as a 90’s politician character (like quackity/md in el rapids etc) here. I GUESS.

GHOSTBUR: Im pretty sure that while alive Kitty didnt blow up a country or whatever but the innocent and kind character of ghostbur fits the role of Kitty pretty well, with both having poor/inaccurate memories of their lives and being very sweet. A georgian noblewoman! Instead of Kitty he’d be called Willy or something. That way one of the ghosts can still have an innuendo name. Thats important.

JIMMY: Jimmy (James) as Mary. A stuart era peasant who got burned in the witch trials. He could still have the power to make people smell smoke, i think it fits the canary thing a bit. AND SPOILERS FOR BBC GHOSTS, Mary being the First Ghost of the main group to get.. sucked away is just too perfect. While never explicitly being a Ghost, Jimmy has such a connection to death that i think im justified.

PIX: Pixie as Fanny!!! He used to own the house many years ago and is now a ghost that really wants it to be perfectly historically preserved. Pix was a ghost in empires s2 and an archeologist who wanted to preserve history of course, so this fits the really proper and old fashioned personality of Fanny pretty well. Also her love of animals fits pix having the ghost cat and the dodos…

SCHLATT: Schlatt as The Captain, a repressed gay ww2 Captain who never actually saw any combat. He can fit the leader role that the Captain does, especially the fact that he just assumes himself the leader, and the others kind of don't take him seriously. Schlatt was a ghost, Glatt, on the dsmp! He will be a bit less.. nice? Than the bbc ghosts captain, but could still have a good bit of development.

bonus convex as the plague ghosts, vex are kind of ghosty, right?

[imthebadguyyy]

Mon Amour

Summary - You've grown up with Charles, and as much as you hate to admit it, you love him. Pierre knows, and clearly sees how desperately Charles loves you too. It's true what they say, love will always find a way.

The Monaco Grand Prix was one of the most fun, exhilarating and exciting Grand Prix's of the entire F1 Season. You were excited enough, and since you already lived nearby, all you had to do was make your way to Charles's home, and then make your way to the track together. To say you were excited was an understatement, and you could barely contain the nerves and excitement you were feeling.

Charles was nervous. He didn't know why, Monaco was his circuit, and he always drove well on the track. He had been confident through free practice, and he was starting on pole, with an excellent quali result. But he was nervous, and something told him it had nothing to do with the race, and everything to do with Y/N.

Y/N. His best friend. His go-to. His shoulder to cry on. She had been there through it all, when his dad died, when Jules died. Whenever he needed someone to talk to or just needed a hug, he could always turn to her. He had met Y/N at a go kart race, sitting with her mother, and eating an ice lolly. Her hair had been in two little ponytails, and she was wearing a pretty polka doted red and blue dress. He was sitting with Pierre, and couldn't help staring at the girl, not even paying attention to what Pierre was saying, until he had snapped his fingers in front of Charles's face to tell him the race was about to begin.

The race had been wonderful, and he had won first place. His dad and Pierre's dad had both been so proud, and had bought both of them ice creams, and as they sat eating their cones, Y/N had made her way over to the pair. "You drove really well today, and my mommy told me I should come over to say congratulations" Too surprised to say anything, he let Pierre take over, and watched as he conversed with her. Then, she turned to him and said, "Whats your name? Mine's Y/N' and he had managed to stutter out, "C-Charles"

And thats how your friendship had begun. Since then, you had accompanied him to every race he had, had been there when he signed for Sauber (Alfa Romeo) and then when he signed for Ferrari. You had been so proud, you had cried when he told you, and hugged him tight and told him that you were incredibly proud of him, and that you were sure that his dad and Jules would have been incredibly proud of him too. And then he had cried too, and you two had cried together, and spent the rest of the night together, just hugging each other.

And here you were again, at his door, looking simply stunning in the outfit you had picked for the race track, looking like an angel sent from heaven. Well, you were his angel. The problem was, he couldn't tell you. You didn't love him, and the last thing he needed was to jeopardise your relationship by confessing his feelings. His stupid, stupid feelings.

"You look gorgeous" Charles said, leaning forward to give you a hug, and a soft kiss on your cheek. If he had been looking at you, he probably would have seen how you had gotten slightly flustered at his gesture. "Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself' you replied, reciprocating his gesture by kissing his cheek. Apparently, neither one of you were good at paying attention, because you didn't see the way he blushed either. "Ready for the race?" "Always" "Is Pierre going to be there?" "Yes he is, we'll probably meet him on the way to the paddock" As much as he hated to admit it, he always felt a pang of jealousy when you brought up his best friend, because he thought that you had feelings for the Frenchman,

"Okay then" "Are you ready to go?"

Nodding your head, you picked up your purse and checked your reflection in the mirror one more time, and brushed a stray strand of unruly hair behind your ears. Grabbing the keys to his Ferrari, he closed the door as the both of you left his house. The car ride to the paddock was fairly quiet, as you made occasional comment about random things, and bopped your heads to some music.

Arriving at the paddock, Charles noticed the paps that were waiting to descend upon you two like vultures. "merde" he mumbled under his breath, knowing you didn't really liken your picture being taken by random strangers. Sighing, you reached out to touch his shoulder. Its okay. I don't mind" 'I know, but it's unfair to you to have your privacy invaded" he replied, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Hey, it's okay. Let's just go". Opening the car door, you took a deep breath to calm the nerves beginning to appear in your tummy.

But you needn't have worried. As soon as you opened the car door, Charles was by your side, lacing his fingers through yours, the other arm wrapping around your waist, to fully protect you from the prying cameras. Trying not to focus on how right it felt, to have his arm around your body, and to feel his fingers threading through your own. Your heart was beating so fast, you wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it, considering how closely wrapped he was around your own body. As the Ferrari garage came into view, you began to calm down, and became aware of the fact that his arm was still wrapped around your waist, and his hand was still holding yours.

-------------------------------------------------------

Walking over from the Toro Rosso/Alpha Tauri garage, Pierre spotted Charles and Y/N making their way over to the Ferrari. Noticing the way Charles kept his arm tightly around Y/N, he couldn't help but grin, and assumed that Charles had finally told Y/N how he felt about her. Grinning even more broadly, he strutted over to the Ferrari garage, and walked over to where his best friend was standing with Mattia and his race engineer. "Hello, mon ami. I see you've finally done it?" somewhat confused, Charles turned to face the frenchmen, and asked, "Done what?" 'Told Y/N you love her" Pierre replied, watching his friends face glow the same red as the colour of his car and race suit. "What?! I have done no such thing. What would make you think that?"

"Let me think, because you've been in love with her since we were children. Come on Charles, don't chicken out now. You should definitely tell her. She is an extremely attractive woman, and I won't be surprised if someone else also likes her or asks her out. You two are made for each other. Now stop delaying !" Sighing, Charles just shook his head, and went into his drivers room, turning halfway to wave at his friend. Somewhat frustrated, he walked into the room, kicking the door in the process. "fanculo, idiota!" he mumbled, hands reaching up to his head to pull on his and let out a growl.

"Charles? You okay ?" Y/N asked, peeking her head into his room, slight concern in her E/C eyes. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just nervous" 'Nervous?' she asked walking in, and sitting down next to him. "Yeah, it's a big race, and points are very important if we want to beat Mercedes and actually win this year. Besides the last race wasn't that good, and Mattia was a little upset about it. I'm just a little nervous" Reaching out to take his hand into hers, Y/N ran a soft hand through his hair, and his eyes fluttered shut for a second. "Charles, listen to me. You are an incredibly talented person. When you get in the car, you push it to the limits and you give it everything. It's okay to be nervous, but you're on pole. I know you will give it your all, and every single person in this garage believes in you. And I believe in you the most. So go out there , and give it your everything. I know you can do it" As you had been speaking, Charles had been running his thumb over your knuckles, on the hand that was holding his, and when you finished, he raised it to his lips, and pressed his soft, pink lips to your knuckles.

"Thank you, tesoro" You froze. He had never called you 'sweetheart' before. You could feel your heart rate rising ever so slightly, and your breathing become slightly shallow, as his brown hazel eyes looked up into your own, and seemingly held your gaze. The tension in the room seemed to thicken, reaching upto a point where it was nearly suffocating. Heads leaning closer to each other, his hand tightening the grip he had on yours, sliding softly up your arm, as your eyes fluttered shut, the anticipation sending your heart rate up to crazy numbers. His face was so close to yours, you could feel his breath on your lips, almost hear his heartbeat, and hoping to God he couldn't hear how embarrassingly loud yours was. Just as your lips nearly touched, there was a knock on the door, and his race engineer, poked his head in, looking somewhat awkward. "Its time to go Charles, time to get in the car"

Sighing softly, he pulled away, as your eyes fluttered behind your eyelids. "Go and win this. I'll be cheering you on" you said, not quite meeting his eyes, but giving him a soft, half hearted smile. "Thanks" he said, giving your hand a squeeze, as he walked out to the garage to get in his car. Burying your head in your hands, you felt like you could scream, sob and punch something at the same time. Letting out a shaky breath, you ran a hand over your face and stood up, making your way up to where you were watching the race from.

-------------------------------------------------------

The race was over, and Charles had won 1st place, with Lewis in second and Valterri in third. As he had stood on the podium, he had found your face in the crowd, smiling and cheering for him, as you let out a whoop that he couldn't hear, but you didn't care. The adrenaline from the win was pumping through his veins, as he climbed down from the podium, eyes searching for you, as his teammates and crew congratulated him on his win, but he was really only half listening.

Then he saw you, standing in front of the garage, hair flying around in the wind that had picked up in the last lap of the race. Smiling as you looked up to see him, you began to run towards him, as he ran to meet you halfway. You jumped into his arms, as his wrapped around your thighs and your waist to keep you stable, as you wrapped yours around his muscled neck, leaning your forehead down to rest against his, as you muttered a soft "congratulations' in his ear, and pressed your lips to his temple, as his eyes closed, fully revelling in your embrace and body heat, not caring about how the paps had probably got a pretty good shot of you two, or how the tabloids were probably wetting themselves with article possibilities. 'thank you mon ange, thank you for supporting me" "anytime"

As you planted your feet back on the ground, and loosened your grip around him slowly, he moved his arm so one was wrapped around your waist, and the other rested loosely on his hip. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Pierre approaching, and smiled at his best friend. "Congratulation mon ami. That was a superb race. Y/N long time no see, seems like you have forgotten me"

Giggling, you stepped away from Charles to give him a hug. "Of course not, how could I forget my best friend! I was going to saw hello before the race but I didn't get the chance. Good race!" "Thank you, It's so good to see you again here. Looks like Charles has been taking up all your time" He said, smirking at the Monégasque driver, who blushed, before looking away. Laughing, you shook your head, moving your body closer to Charles's again. "Oh Y/N you should come to the party tonight. It's on a yacht, and we can have some good fun a well. What do you say ?' "Oh I'm in!"

"You can come as one of our plus ones" Pierre said, eyes shifting over to Charles's face which was the same colour as his bright red Ferrari suit. Charles wanted to punch and hug Pierre at the same time, clearly seeing what he was trying to do. "Yeah, okay I'll be there" "Great! See you then, bye for now. Go celebrate with your man"

"your man"

Why did that sound so right? Why did it make your heart burst with happiness? Why did you want him to be your man? And why did it seem like the one thing you wanted the most was the one thing you couldn't have.

-------------------------------------------------------

Looking at the mirror one last time, you smoothed out the silky material of the red satin dress you had decided to wear to the party. Paired with a black choker necklace, and a pair of sleek black heels to finish the outfit. You had gone bold with the makeup, winged liner and smoky eyeshadow. Finally, you had swiped a tube of ruby red lipstick across your lips, and sprayed some more -expensive -than -you -could -even -begin- to -fathom Gucci perfume that Charles had bought you for your birthday on your wrists, neck, ears, and body.

You didn't know what you were doing. But it felt good to be confident. It felt good to pretend as though you were completely in control, when all you wanted was to curl up in a little ball, and cry. You didn't know what you were doing, but it felt good to pretend as though you didn't care for Charles, when all you wanted to do was grab his stupidly handsome face and kiss his wonderfully soft, pink lips.

Shaking off your anxiety, you reached for the phone to call Pierre, who was supposed to pick you up and drive you to the party. Charles had wanted too, but he had to go and meet some friends who wanted to congratulate on his victory. Taking a deep breath, you picked up your black clutch, which had your phone, lipstick, tissues and your keys, just in time to hear a knock on the door. Walking over to the door of your Monaco apartment, you opened it to find Pierre, in a lovely light blue suit, hair slicked slightly with gel, and a Rolex on his wrist. As he looked at you, his eyes widened, and he looked at you in shock for a few seconds, before saying "You look absolutely stunning, princess. Absolutely gorgeous" "Thank you Pierre ! You're looking pretty dapper yourself, I must say" you replied, flashing him a smile. "Thank you Y/N/N. Someone won't be able to keep his eyes off of you" he said, smirking as he saw your eyes widen softly, as you grew visibly flustered. "Who?" You asked, suddenly interested in looking at the clutch in your hand. "Oh come on, Leonardo DiCaprio. Who do you think ?!'

"I don't know, Pierre. Why don't you tell me?"

"Ces deux idiots, Charles, you sweet dumbass!"

"Yeah right. Let's just go please, we are already late, and I don't want to be out for too long"

"Fine"

-------------------------------------------------------The party was extravagant. There were these model chicks everywhere, with the most minimal of clothing, drooling over whichever driver they could find. Charles had had this one blonde girl hit on him for nearly an hour, and he was nearing the end of his patience. He didn't want any random girl for a one night stand. He wanted Y/N. And she wasn't at the party yet. But God, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop thinking about the moment they had shared. They had almost kissed. His heart did little jumps whenever he thought about it, and GOD, he was not doing a good job at hiding it. Everyone in the room had noticed the lovestruck look on his face. From across the room, George and Alex made their way over the Monégasque driver, who looked lost, and slightly irritated.

"Hey man, good job today! That was an excellent race" "Thanks, you guys did brilliantly as well"

"So who's got you looking like a little lost puppy?" George asked, grinning at the man, who looked slightly flustered at his comment. "What? No one, just post race excitement I suppose?"

"I'm not taking your word for it. Who's the girl? Come on"

Just as Charles opened his mouth to speak, there was a slight distraction, as he turned towards the door on the left, where people kept coming and going, and his jaw dropped. It was Y/N. But she looked like an angel that had fallen from the heavens, and sent to bless his heart. As he watched her make her way across the room, with Pierre right behind her, he felt his mouth and throat become dry, and his heart felt like it was going to fail at any moment. His palms were becoming sweaty and he felt like a nervous wreck, ready to collapse at any moment.

"Wow, mate. Is that Y/N ? She looks stunning!" Alex said, smiling as he watched her make her way towards their little group. "Yeah it is mate. She looks absolutely gorgeous!" George said, waving to the woman as she neared them. Charles couldn't speak.He just stared. "When you've put your eyes back in your head, and closed your mouth, you could maybe compliment her, and finally ask her out." Alex said, noticing how his friend had become silent and kept opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish.

Laughing, George clapped Charles on the back, "Ah, so she's the one that's got you all lovey dovey. Good going mate, she's a beauty" As he finished speaking, Y/N had approached the group, and was saying hello to Alex. Leaning forward, George gave her a hug as well, having become acquainted with her through Pierre. "Y/N you look beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous" he said, smiling at her, "Thank you so much! You guys all look lovely too!"

'You're too kind Y/N, George looks like he hasn't even brushed his hair back properly" Alex joked, receiving a slight shove from the Brit. "And, Charles, what do you think? How do I look this fine evening?" you asked, turning to face him. His face was slightly flushed and he mumbled something that sounded like "mimblewimble" and then cleared his throat. "You look prettier than anyone here tonight. You look like an angel"

Completely awestruck at his words, all you could do was gape, and then mutter a soft thank you, and pray to God he couldn't feel the nerves radiating off of you. "Well, despite the lovely company, and palpable sexual tension, I'm going to go find Max and Daniel, and go get a drink" Alex said, giving Y/N a hug and leaving with George. Leaving you alone with a very flustered Charles. "Do you want to get out of here?' he asked suddenly, looking at you with his warm hazel brown eyes. "I just got here, but yes please. I already feel so out of place among these models and superstars" you said, giggling softly. "Well, they've got nothing on you. Trust me, you're fifteen times prettier than anyone else here"

"Thank you Charles" you said, smiling softly, and touching his arm. "Anytime,tesoro" there it was again, that nickname that had your heart jumping. The last time he had called you that you guys had almost kissed. The memory returned, filling your tummy with butterflies, and all you wanted to do was to grab his stupidly handsome face and kiss him. The two of you made your way down to the docks, where you had a special spot that was like a hidden cave, covered with some wildflowers and ivy, that you two had discovered when you guys were fifteen, and you had had a bad day at school. Charles had hugged you, and told you, "no matter how bad a day at school is, I will always be there to hug you and make you feel better, always" That was when you had fallen in love with him.

As you made your way to the cave, you shivered, the sea air that was blowing around was surprisingly chilly, and you had forgotten to bring a jacket. Being the gentleman that he was, Charles took of his dark blue suit jacket, and draped it around your soldiers. 'Can't have you freezing to death" "I won't" you replied, regretting your decision to wear heels. As the two of you reached the cave, you sat down on the floor, and pulled off your heels, and stretched your legs out, letting out a sigh as you did so. Smiling at your actions, Charles sat down next to you, his thigh brushing against yours, arm wrapping around your waist, as your head dropped onto his shoulder.Beneath you two, the water lapped gently against the rocks, and the soft sound was calming and soothing.

For a while, you stayed that way, you tracing random patterns onto his left hand, while his right arm that was wrapped around your waist traced circles on your waist. His head was resting on top of yours now, and in the chilly air, the warmth radiating off of his body was comforting. "Y/N, do you like Pierre?" he blurted out suddenly, making you look up at him in shock. "What makes you think that?' you asked, leaning slightly away from his body to look at his face properly. "Well, I just assumed, I guess, you do seem very very comfortable and happy around him" "Oh my god, you idiot" you said, giggling softly at the slight look of jealousy on his face. "Pierre was right"

"What was he right about ?"

"Nothing"

"Look I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from its just that I love you and -"

You cut him off, pressing your lips to his, as his arms wrapped around your torso, after initial surprise. Yours made his way to his shoulders, one on his shoulder, and the other to the back of his head, while his grip around your body tightened. You two fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, bodies moulding into each other, lips fitting like two puzzle pieces together. This was what you had been missing from your life. This passionate, romantic, breath taking love, one that made your heart go 200 miles an hour and then stop.

Charles couldn't believe what was happening. He was kissing Y/N, and it felt so right. She was intoxicating, the scent of her perfume was clouding his senses in the best way possible, filling him with a new need, a hunger that had been growing for so long was finally being satiated, and it was electrifying. He slid his hands up her back, to tangle his fingers in her hair, pulling ever so slightly, and revelling in the sound that left her lips.

Finally breaking away, panting and out of breath, he rested his forehead on hers. "je t'aime mon amour" he mumbled, eyelids fluttering shut. "I love you too. So much" Completely blissed out, the two remained in their embrace, neither of them wanting to break apart, from what felt like a dream. "Did you just kiss me, or am I dreaming" He asked, looking down at Y/N who had her head on his shoulder again.

"Why don't you kiss me again and find out ?"

"Of course, mon amour"

-------------------------------------------------------

[ms-rampage]

Nice to Meet You

Charles Smith x [OC] Kate Winchester (or female reader)

This is my first RDR2 writing. I've had this swimming around in my head for awhile now, and this is one my favorite ships 😁😁💕💕. This is pretty much one of the ways I would have Kate and Charles meet. My writing requests are closed for now, but I'll save your request in my queue.

Warnings: None, maybe some slight language but thats normal for my writings. Awkward Kate/Y/n? 😅😂

A/N: Feel free to insert yourself as my OC as you read on. 😁😊

Photo of Charles isn't mine

Camping out near the Hanging Dog Ranch in Big Valley, West Elizabeth. The lavender field is such a beautiful place to set up camp, its even more beautiful with the snowy mountains from the West Grizzlies of Ambarino.

Kate always had this connection with nature. This spot is great for star gazing, and sometimes hunting. She normally didn't like hunting unless it was really necessary, such as for food, or to make a few dollars to sell some pelts for food. Being a naturalist can be difficult sometimes. You study animals, but sometimes cravings kick in, and you sometimes gotta hunt animals for food. Saloon food doesn't do it sometimes, so you gotta cook your own food.

Camping can be dangerous, even by yourself and especially if you're a woman, but for Kate she's a natural and somewhat of a veteran at camping alone, especially for her size. Being 5'4 and very easy to miss, especially when sitting or laying down, but that's why she has her guard dog Haley watching over the campsite while she's away. She's a good dog, German Shepard.

She's just relaxing, drinking some coffee as the cold West Elizabeth breeze blows past her, and that's when something startles her Missouri Fox Trotter, Lily. She somehow manages to unhitch herself, and takes off running into the wooded area nearby.

"Lily!" she exclaims dropping her cup of hot coffee to chase her horse. "Lily come back!". She sprints after her.

[Charles POV]. Normally he doesn't go this far from the gangs camp, but sometimes a good ride is good to clear your head. The areas around Strawberry is good for hunting. Getting away from the gang even for couple hours or a couple days can be a good thing.

Charles sets up his camp near the Black Bone Forest, not far from where Kate is set up, but of course he doesn't know this. Fixing up the fire as the evening sun is less than an hour away from setting. Warming up his hands as the cold weather starts to pick up, and night time will be arriving soon.

As he warms up his hands, he hears the voice of a woman calling out for someone, sounding distant but very close. He continues to warm up by the fire then a black, white tovero horse with saddle, and everything on, trots by looking a bit agitated. Putting two and two together, he figures it belongs to the woman calling out for it.

He gets up from his spot near the fire, and slowly approaches it, not wanting to startle or scare it away.

[Kate's POV]. "Lily!" she shouts, the tracks her horse had left now fading. Feeling like hours since she's been tracking her down. Normally she's really good at tracking animals, but it's close to night time and she left her lantern at her campsite. As well as her dog, hoping she doesn't get attacked by wolves, bears or cougars.

"Fuck" she sighs, "Lily!". She whistles for her, waiting for the whinny and heavy hooves of her horse, but to no avail. No sign of her. Not realizing she had chased her down a little too far. Kate is now nowhere near her campsite and is now in an area where there are dangerous predators lurking in the dark somewhat terrifying forests.

[Charles POV].

"Hey there girl" he says softly to the horse. She whinnys softly at him, digging her hoove into the dirty, not sure who he is. He continues to slowly approach her, when he gets to arms reach of her, he calms her down. "You're okay girl".

[No POV]. Patting her, Lily then calms down. He guides her towards his campsite, hitching her near Taima. 10 minutes had passed, "Lily!" the voice of the horse's owner echoes through the trees, followed by footsteps not far from Charles campsite. After another few minutes, a woman comes into view.

Charles sees her walk into view of his camp, "Ma'am is this your horse?" he asks. Relieved to see her horse is alive and well. Kate lets out a sigh of relief, "Oh fuck. Oh my God. Yes, thank you so much sir. I don't know what she saw, she just took off from her hitching spot". She unhitches her horse from the spot.

"I can escort you back to your camp" he tells her, knowing that this is O'Driscolls and Skinner brothers country. "Oh no its fine but thank you for the offer. I don't want to be a burden" she tells him.

"I insist" he tells her, "Its dark, and I don't want you to get attacked. This is a O'Driscolls and Skinner brothers area".

"Are you sure? My campsite isn't set up far" she asks, "I hope it isn't trouble?". This little lady can easily get attacked by any bandits and robbers. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't escort her, and made sure she was safe.

"I'm sure. I don't want you to get hurt" he tells her.

"Well if you insist then thank you sir". she tells him. She mounts Lily, and Charles mounts Taima. "I'm set up at the lavender field. Near the Hanging Dog Ranch" she informs him.

"Near the O'Driscolls hideout?" he asks, looking at her with a look of concern.

"There's no one at the hideout. I checked it out earlier, its empty". she replies. He escorts her to her campsite which is less than a 10 minute ride.

As they're riding, Charles gets a better glimpse at Kate's face. He knows he's seen her before but he's not sure when and where though, she's very beautiful, and also very small, short but height and size isn't really important to him. He knows she can probably hold herself in fight, but he wants to be a gentleman, and guide her to her camp.

When they reach her campsite, her dog greets with a bark of excitement and tail wagging. Kate hitches Lily. Charles gets off his horse. "Have I seen you before?" he asks her, "I feel like I've seen you before".

Kate did recognize him, but like him, she wasn't 100% sure. Getting a better look at his face and other features from the fire and a bit of light from the moonlight. He's most likely half African American and Native, he's also very handsome. "Outside the Smithfield Saloon in Valentine" she tells him, "I believe one of your friends got into a fight with Big Tommy".

He lets out a soft chuckle, and a slight smirk "I thought so. That was Arthur".

"And also in the Heartlands" she tells him, "Well you didn't see me, but I saw you with that same man... Arthur, who fought Tommy. I was studying bison, and you two were riding by. I recognized you".

"Studying bison?" he asks, intrigued by her response.

"I'm a naturalist. I study animals, and wildlife. I'm also a herbalist". she tells him, "I usual camp by myself to clear my head... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name".

"I'm Charles" he introduces himself.

"I'm Kate. It's finally nice to meet you" she was always terrible at introducing herself because she's very awkward, "But yeah, I study animals. Bison, Buffalo, cattle in general, I find very interesting... Sorry I'm just rambling on about my interests". She chuckles nervously.

"No worries. It's fine" he tells her, giving her a soft smile. Finding this woman very interesting and very attractive, also getting this strange feeling in his stomach that he has never ever gotten before, "I should be getting back to my camp now. Have I nice night, Kate".

"You too Charles, and thank you for the escort" thanking him with a smile. He hitches his horse and rides back to his camp. The whole time Kate was on his mind, even when he would try to sleep. Just something about her, her interests, and her demeanor. How sweet and down to Earth she is.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon back with ANGST at the very last question on part 2. Im honestly not positive myself how im gonna fix it. I have ideas but still. Hopefully this isn't to long.

Rans life at Mizu: For Mizu I've changed it a bit, history is still messed up to a point. But other people like Technoblade, Philza, Sam, Foolish, etc are now included with their own rooms. Ran idolized/choose Technoblade to follow. Followers of Technoblade are the only people in the City (expect for guards or police type people, though they also tend to be followers of Techno) that are allowed to freely carry weapons (after the proper training of course). Ran choose Technoblade because he wanted to protect those he loved and he was always interested in the art of fighting. He had two mentors, a women named Alma, she mostly did hand to hand combat and defense training with Ran, while a man named Fermin was a historical teacher, and taught him the history of wars and weapons more indepth than regular classes did. He had quite a few friends, though only a few close friends he often went to play games with or have sleepovers with (if you want angst, Ran was actually the one who discovered two of his friends bodies and had to report them, forcing him to go back a few times to see their bodies). Im pretty sure I mentioned it before but the brothers had a family of 6! Their mom was Ranya and was a 20% enderman hybrid, their dad was Seth and was a normal human, of course you know the brothers, their younger brother (14 years old upon death/a year younger than Ran) was named Lias and was human, and their younger sister was Memi (10 years old upon death) and was human. Ran was close to his parents, often having Ranya read him to bed and riding Seth's shoulders when he was young. He also baby sat Lias and Memi when everyone else was out, also helping them with homework and letting them sleep in his bed when nightmares happened. He loved his family and its when the murders and sabotages started happening did he choose Technoblade as his idol, to protect his family and seem intimating to whoever was doing the sabotages. 

1: When the carriage finally stopped Cletus jumped out and faceplanted onto the ground, screaming about how he was finally free and away from all the awkward tension. Grievous, Jackie, and Isaac where all close behind, all having a similar reaction. While Watson, Charles, and Benjamin had a calmer reaction simply walking out and stretching. Ran was the last to get out, and he had to be dragged out by Watson, but he fought being dragged out. He grabbed the edges of the carriage and screamed while being forced out. Ranbob was calmer, and while jumping out he accidentally landed on Grievous, forcing his head back into the dirt, who then let out a muffled shout of alarm before immediately getting up and confronting a nervous and apologetic Ranbob. 

3: He isn't the fastest at evaluating a situation, and needs ample time to make decisions. He also isnt the best at understanding emotions at times and sometimes needs a little push in a direction to understand. Also at points he gets into situations he doesnt know how to handle at all, at those times he almost shuts down with overwhelment, and the leadership tends to go to Benjamin for a while during it. 

5: Their healing potions, so they work over time, slowly working with the body to heal and regenerate, so they take longer to fully work. Poitions work generally the same (ingredient wise), but theres more steps. For a potion of harming, first you crush up and gently mix in a spiders eye into a Awkward potion, then put it on the brewing stand for 10 minutes, then after the Poison potion is made, you get another spider eye and roll it in sugar cane until the general texture changes into a more wrinkly and powder like texture, then crush that up and mix it into the Poison potion, put it in the brewing stand for at least 30 minutes, then it makes a harming potion. The process its generally the same for all the rest of the potions, though it depends on ingredients and how long they must stand on the brewing stand. 

7: I'll try doing that, thank you! Cause Grievous is a lil shit at times and encourages  violence as long as its not against him. I know you probably expect a deep answer but thats purely the only reason Grievous encourages it. It depends on what was said to Jackie, if its something that deeply and emotionally hurts Jackie, than he'd likely discourage him, instead comforting him and convincing him if he attacked the person he'll just feel worse. But if its something he knows Jackie can handle, he'll encourage Jackie to beat em up. 

8: Watson went almost everywhere, the only places he didn't go was The End, Mushroom Islands, Badlands, Ice Spikes, and Gravel Mountains (he saw them he just didn't wanna go in them), and thats because he never came across them or traveled there. He has a long bamboo that he uses to wack people over the head with when their being idiots, he has a framed nether star fragment that he found in a ruined and abandoned village (he doesnt know what it is he just knows its shiny and cool), he has some fur-lined outfits from the time spent in Tundras, and he has a book where he records locations of interesting formations he found and just a general record of stuff (how much food he has, the season, days until winter, when he should go on a supply run, etc). When Watson still lived as a kid in a village, he often went to watch the blacksmith (also the farmers, clerics, and others) and when he was old enough the blacksmith showed him how to make a multitude of weapons with different materials. And now he pushes the limits of what he's learned from that and over the years to make brand new weapons. And since I'm not sure if you where also asking about Ran, Ran only went to Plains, Covered Forest, Tundra, Savanna, and Tagia biomes. He has a dagger (specifically a Zorlin Shape dagger) that he took off of a hunter when he killed them, has parts of iron armour (shoulder and chest pieces, with the pieces that go on his shins), again some fur-lined clothes from his time in the Tundra, a selfbow, and also has a book similar to Watson's, but his has notes of potion affects,crafting recipes, mobs to avoid, etc. Visiting the nether is not common at all! Infact no vists it expect travelers or people who get hired to go in for potion ingredients and building supplies. Jackie does eventually give up painting, and instead picks up the hobby of annoying people and just training. It actually goes pretty well, there are rules put in place during it to protect them, but other than that its generally the same as the one played in our world. Jackie wants to vist those biomes because he thinks there cool, and thinks their good starting biomes to vist for a beginner adventure. Yep, Ran says its way to dangerous to go to the nether, especially with almost no one knowing how the nether works. Though actually Watson wants to bring the others into the nether, saying its a good learning experience and no one will learn how to survive if they dont go. Ran still agures its too dangerous though, citing the Piglins and Ghasts as evidence, but eventually, after much begging and negotiations, Ran agrees to let them go. They just need to listen to Ran and Watson teach them about the nether and follow everything they say to a T while in the nether. 

9: Jackie screamed while being thrown, but after that and a bit of stunned silence, he jumped up and demanded for Ran to throw him again. So he enjoys being thrown, and sometimes he specifically requests to be thrown, so he can curl into a ball and slam into people like a goddamn canon ball. Porkius was also shocked into stunned silence, but after he saw Jackie get back up and demand to be thrown again, he just started bellowing in laughter, you could hear his laughter even echoing a bit outside of the Pit. 

10: Then you may be happy to know, but I believe at the end I'll make it so after the brothers have fixed their relationship, their still being haunted by Dream, and eventually the decision gets made to go back to Mizu and face him. Where Dream has actually escaped (Due to a big group coming in, and him being able to convince them to take the Mask with them) so now they have to hunt him down. And when they finally find him you can bet someone (or multiple people) are going to punch him. 

12: He does tell the fishermen about these thoughts once, but the fishermen sadly fail at comforting him and changing those thoughts, so he decides to keep it inside and suffer in quite. Though 2 people do see his suffering, Ran and Grievous. Grievous is debating if he should step in and ask what's wrong and if he can help, while Ran just watches (though he does feel some hurt watching his brother suffer, though he denies it). 

13: They all had a blast there, Charles showed Jackie how to make flower crowns, then they went and made one for everyone else, Ran just laid in the grass and tried to relax, Ranbob eventually joined in with the flower crowns, Watson was telling Grievous all the meaning of flower colors and what certain flowers stand for, while Isaac and Cletus chased eachother around and eventually got Jackie, Grievous, and Watson involved in a game of chase. They did leave after a General battle, as that was one of the things they had to do for Porkius to approve of them leaving. Porkius still wants them back in less than 5 years, though they can take like a year or 2 longer max. Jackie is technically a general, though the general title he has is specifically only for the Pit matches and instead is more of a like final boss title. 

14: Again its very much like a abusive relationship. Ranbob believes Dream has changed because of distant whispers from Dream (only happened while they still lived at the fishermen house which is kinda-close to Mizu) promising he has changed and he truly wants to help Ranbob, and saying how he can help Ranbob be of more use to the fishermen and since Dream did actually help Ranbob at first, he wants to believe him. But once they get futher away from Mizu, the whispers disappear, only rarely appearing in his dreams. Cletus doesn't really help, not because he doesnt care but more because he doesn't know how to help, he knows its a very delicate situation and saying or doing the wrong thing could hurt more than help, so he decided to play it safe. Charles tries to help, though he provides more physical help, like hugs to ground him or showing him how to breath again, while Benjamin and Isaac tackle the more internal issues and do so comfortingly and gently. Making it so Ranbob only notices their actually helping when he starts to do things on his own and no longer has such strong and often urges to return to Dream. 

15: One night when Ranbob is off getting firewood and Ran is off checking surroundings to make sure its safe, the Hunters actually get into the camp and holds everyone at sword and bow point. Ran sees them when coming back and actually, though hesitantly, decides to wait for Ranbob to come back. And once Ranbob is back the two make a plan to rescue them, which goes mostly well. Ran gets shot in the stomach and Ranbob gets a sword through his arm, but other than that they do manage to rescue them. Watson jokingly says how they've finally made progress and that they can now work toghere without fighting now, Ran growls at this and storms away, denying it, but Ranbob just nervously shuffles and sits down, letting Charles tend to his wounds, as Jackie chases off after Ran to tend to his wounds. I really want them to stumble across the Wild West ruins and maybe The Masquerade ruins but im not sure how I'll get them to either. 

1: Haha, ouch. Poor Ran. Nice backstory though. I can only imagine how he must have felt, coming across those. Does him choosing Techno have anything to do with him choosing to enter the Pit? Also how did Ranbob feel about killing his family? We’ve talked about the guilt about hurting Ran and stuff, but about the ones who weren’t as lucky to escape?

2: That sounds like...a scene. Funny, but probably not until a few days after it happened for the people who actually had to go through it.

3: Is Isaac the type to get overwhelmed easily? But very nice to see Benjamin helping out! 

5: So basically just tossing some real life logic in there? Hmm, interesting.

7: Hope it helps! Nope, no deep answer. That’s about what I expected actually. Grievous has that energy, y’know? Also, very sweet of Ran to comfort Jackie. Does he ever get revenge on Jackie’s behalf? He doesn’t strike me as the type to let that go, especially if it actually hurt somebody he cared for. Him otherwise encouraging it..yeah, sounds about right. Gremlin children.

8: Sounds like he’s really been a lot of places! He must know a lot, huh? Also, he just...wack? Cause that’s kind of funny. He watched others beside the Blacksmith? Did he learn anything from them? Ran personally sounds very intimidating. Though if he has potion notes, does he often make them? Is there a particular reason Nether travel is no longer common? Also, would the gang ever happen to stumble across ruins from the time of the Smp? Cause that’d be kind of cool. Jackie’s new hobby sounds very nice, I hope he has fun doing it. How long does it take before Ran deems everyone ready for the Nether? And do the Fishermen also go through, or do they prefer to stick to safer grounds?

9: I bet the first time the fishermen saw that show they were surprised. And honestly, Porkius, I’d laugh too. 

10: I am happy to know that! Well, not the escape bit, but the punching, for sure! You go, guys, punch that neon green slimeball!

12: Oh no. Does Grievous ever step in?

13: Sounds like they had a good time, I’m happy for them. And a final boss title? Is Jackie like a final boss? What differs between them fighting as the general, and as a typical gladiator?

14: Hm, that’s not good. What is good is that he’s getting away from Dream’s influence. Did that have anything to do with the group deciding to head to Subbin? 

15: Well, progress is progress! Surely it’s a step in the right direction, right?

Also, not really a Brothers AU question, but as you may have noticed, I pinned a post of all the AUs on here, and I was wondering if you’d like me to put yours on there too. Obviously, I’d put it as yours. I wanted to earlier, but I figured it would be better to ask, so tell me your feelings on that.

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Any chance of getting something maybe set in the future or smthng where percy is telling either his kids or young demigods about how good and powerful jason was or just recalling some of their old adventures and its Percy's way of getting closure for jason? Can be angsty can be fluff whatever floats yah boat:)

I am not afraid to admit I teared up writing this. I am an emotional bitch. Anyway I hope you enjoy Anon!

Masterlist

"Come on boys, your sister's already in bed." Percy got up from the couch to pick up the stray toys and blankets still littered around the room.

"Can we get a story tonight Pops?" Charles looked up at him with big brown eyes.

"Sure baby, what about?"

"About," Lee looked to his twin and then back at his father, "About daddy?"

He released a soft breath, crouching down so he was at eye level with them.

"Of course, I'm always happy to tell you about your dad."

"Thanks Pops!" They beamed and then raced off to get ready for bed.

Percy stood up to lean against the wall, letting the ache of missing his husband wash over him. It pressed against his ribs, made breathing an impossibility. Blue eyes, bright with laughter flashed through his mind. He blinked the tears away, now was not the time to break down.

"Zoe, you want to come listen to the story?"

"What's the story?" She scrunched her nose, "I don't want to hear about the princess and the dragon. Everyone knows she should have made friends with the dragon and gone on amazing adventures."

He struggled to hold in a laugh as she rolled her pale green eyes, "You don't have to worry tonight, it's a story about dad."

She lit up then, smile as bright as the sun, "You're gonna tell us about dad? Yes let's go!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him to her brothers' room.

He didn't bother to keep his laugh in this time, letting her drag him through the house.

In a matter of moments the boys were tucked into their beds. Zoe was climbing onto his lap as he tried to get comfy on the bean bag sat in the middle of the room.

"Okay you want to hear about a time we killed a monster or time at camp or something else?"

"Monster!" Zoe and Charles cheered.

"Camp," Lee said softly.

"Okay you little gremlins how about both? I'll tell you the story about how your dad accidentally stabbed me."

They nodded, smuggling deeper into their beds and looked at him expectantly.

"It was around the middle of summer, actually your dad's birthday. And I had planned to have a picnic in the strawberry fields. We only had the day to be together because it was Capture the Flag that night and you know your Aunt Annabeth was a tyrant when it came to camp games," He winked, making them giggle.

Lee furrowed his little brow. "Why were you going to the strawberry fields?"

"Yea why not the woods, or the beach?" Charles asked.

"Your dad never really liked the beach. He says there's too much sand and too much water," He laughed softly, "And the woods aren't really that safe. It's better to stay well within camp boarders."

"But why—" Charles started up again.

"Charlie," Zoe scolded, "Let Pops finish the story. You can ask questions later."

"Nobody asked you Zoe," He stuck his tongue out.

Lee untucked his arm and held it off the bed expectantly. His twin sighed and clasped their hands together.

"Later Charlie,"

Percy's heart skipped a beat, as it always did when the twins acted like this. It was Jason's favourite thing about them—that silent understanding, that unspoken bond.

"Carry on Pops," Lee nodded solemnly.

"We had a little party for dad in the dining hall with a silly lightning bolt shaped cake and cloud cupcakes." He didn't tell them that all the drinks were same shade of green as his eyes because that was his husband's favourite colour. Or that Jason had pulled him in and kissed him so hard they had almost started a hurricane right there.

"I had asked my friends to help me set up a picnic blanket and a basket in the fields so we could go after breakfast. But when we got there everything had been trampled and broken."

Zoe gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth.

"Oh no," Lee's face pulled in horror.

"Who did it Pops? What happened?" Charles was sitting up now, his hand still firmly holding his twin's.

He gave them a wide eyed look, struggling to hold back his laugh at their intent expressions.

"Well we were both very confused and quickly took our swords out but then we heard a rustle from behind us. We turned around and sitting on a rock was this huge serpent. It was brown and swampy green with two giant horns on its head. And it was just staring at us."

"Your dad tried to get closer but before he could strike his sword this thing was moving towards us. It jumped on me and I fell to the ground."

They all let out a comically loud gasp.

"My sword fell out of my hand. But your dad was there and he sliced his sword down on it. Except he missed the monster because it moves so fast and his sword hit me instead."

Charles groaned, falling back onto his pillow.

"Come on Pops what happened?" Zoe bounced, looking up at him.

"So I'm injured, the monster is still slithering everywhere and your dad is trying to make sure I'm not gonna die. Before he could get me some ambrosia the serpent is back and striking at him. That's when I finally grab all the water from the strawberries and throw it at the monster. And then it crumbled to dust. Guess it wasn't thirsty huh?"

He didn't tell them he choked that creature till it didn't know the difference between blood and water, didn't tell them he nearly died trying to control so much with an injury. Didn't tell them the fury he felt when it had tried to attack his boyfriend.

"Uncle Grover was not happy with me because all the strawberries died but your dad and i made it back to the infirmary and we got all better. Which was great because Aunt Annabeth and Aunt Clarisse would have killed us if we couldn't participate in Capture the Flag." He laughed.

"What was the monster Pops?" Lee asked, earthy eyes wide.

Zoe frowned, "Yea and how did it get in? I thought camp was protected. "

"And who won capture the flag?" Charles waved his hands impatiently.

"We found out the monster was called Cerastes and it probably dug itself up under the borders. There was a whole maze running under camp, but it collapsed after Aunt Annabeth and I helped the creator out."

Zoe squealed, "Can we hear that story next?"

"Maybe another night, princess. And to answer your question Charlie," He smiled at his son, "Clarisse's team won capture the flag. Your dad and and Aunt Clarisse made us clean toilets for a week because we lost."

"Aw daddy," Lee scrunched his nose.

"Yes Annabeth was very unimpressed with them. Alright, time to sleep now."

"Pops," Zoe hugged his neck, "I miss dad."

He wrapped his arms around her little body, "Me too princess. But someday we will all see each other again."

Lee looked at him curiously, "How do you know?"

"Because your dad is in a very special place and if you guys continue to be brave and kind you will also go to that special place and you will see him again."

"And will you be there?" Charles tugged at his hand.

"I hope so. I think if you all give me kisses I'll be able to trade them in when the time comes."

They pounced on him, dissolving into giggles as he kissed them back and tickled their little feet.

"I love you guys, and your dad loved you more than all the stars in the sky." He looked at each of them, green eyes bright with love and sorrow.

"We love you too Pops." Charles let out a yawn.

"Yea, love you Pops." Lee climbed back into bed, "Are we getting pancakes tomorrow?"

"It is birthday tradition," He grinned at them, "And especially since you're becoming old men. Pancakes are soft so you don't have to chew when your teeth start falling out."

"Our teeth fall out?" Charles gave him an appalled look.

"Only if you don't brush your teeth Charlie." Zoe said matter of factly.

"Thats right," He held in a laugh at her serious expression.

"Goodnight little ones." He picked his daughter up, switching off the lights and closing the door halfway.

"You ready for bed princess?"

"Mhm Pops," She blinked slowly, "Can I help you make pancakes tomorrow?"

"Yes please," He laid her down gently, "You're the best sous chef ever."

Her answering beam made his chest tighten.

"I love you Pops. Thank you for the story."

"Was it to your satisfaction?" He flicked her nose softly.

"I like when you and dad save each other," She burrowed into her blankets, "It's much better when you do things together, instead of those silly princes who want to save the princess but don't let her help."

He shook his head in amusement, "When you go on your own adventures remember to do things together."

"We're gonna be a team." She gave him a determined look and then yawned.

He kissed her forehead and pulled up the blankets before leaving the room.

With a sigh he escaped to his own bed, sitting down with the heaviness of longing.

Jason and him weren't just a team; they were the question and answer, the sun and the moon, the beginning, middle and end.

He picked up the framed picture of them on their wedding day, Jason's blue eyes bright with happiness, and Percy looking at his husband like he hung the stars in the sky just so their glow could shine onto this love.

"I miss you my Saving Grace," He whispered.

And then laughed, as he felt the soft caress of wind brushing over his damp cheeks and dancing between his fingers.

"I love you."

[nocturnegyser]

The feels

Warren x Reader (raccoon)

A/N: I’ve had this typed out for a while and I wanted to go do more Warren x Raccoon material, I just decided to actually go through it, it still probably sucks but I tried. I’m not a professional in any sense, anyways, enjoy :3

———

Summary: Warrens been acting strange.. (y/n) tries to find out what’s happening with him, wonder what it is?

———

Having only been going to her new school for 2 months, (y/n) has already met so many cool people. She even started her band called ‘Clean Trash’, ironically not with Warren on the drums.

The one replacing Warren on drums was a 5th grader named Ryan Husk, his muatation allows to move any liquid with his mind, their bassist being an 8th grader named Mars Palenski, his mutation gives him a giant rats tail and ears, pretty similar to (y/n)’s raccoon ears and tail.

Needless to say, (y/n) was getting along just fine, she was keeping up with her classes, nothing perfect but she didn’t care, just as long as she was passing.

———

Waking up one morning for breakfast, (y/n) nader her way to the kitchen for hopefully some marshmallow mateys, one she got there she saw Warren standing at the stove preparing food, both locking eyes when she walked in.

This reminded (y/n) of their first proper time meeting, although instead of giving Warren a death look, she smiled and wished him a good morning.

Warren doing the same, (y/n) was grabbing the cereal and milk, in the midst of preparing her breakfast.

“I can make you some french toast if you want” Warren offered

“Huh?.. oh.. yea ok” the still waking up very tired raccoon girl sitting down at the counter

Peter and Alex then walking in greeting both a good morning, then returning a good morning back.

Peter then smelling the french toast “Oh man! I love your french toast!” Peter getting excited

“Fuck off, I’m not making you anymore after what happened last time” Warren staring daggers at Peter while setting a plate in front of (y/n) and himself

“What happened last time?” (y/n) asked pouring syrup on her stack

“Well basically-“ Peter started then Alex shortly cutting him off “He finished all 24 pieces Warren spent almost an hour making, he didn’t even get a single bite”

“Dang” (y/n) responded while taking a bite “Hey, what do you expect from me? I was too hungry!”

“Some damn self control would be nice” Warren still staring daggers at Peter, both opting to eat the same marshmallow mateys (y/n) was planning on eating

———

After finishing (y/n) washed her dishes and offered to help Warren clean up but he insisted she go and get ready for classes, she took him up on it and go ready for the day, washed her face, brushed her teeth, hair, ears and tail.

(y/n) and Warren didn’t have any classes together, their schedules didn’t really cross paths a lot, even morning breakfasts like that were rare, (y/n) was content with their schedules not matching up all the time, she was happy with whatever time they did spend together if any at all.

(y/n) mostly ate lunch with Jubilee and if she wasn’t available for lunch then Mars and Ryan would eat with her.

It was after classes when Clean Trash would practice in the unused music room, that is if neither Ryan or Mars had homework.

She had a policy if either of them had homework before coming to practice they would have to finish it before they turn the amps on, or if they got in trouble they wouldn’t practice that day, they didn’t practice on the weekends though.

“You guys got any homework?” (y/n) asked her band mates, “No,” both answered truthfully

“Ok, let’s begin with ‘My heart is a futon’” (y/n) taking initiative

“How do you come up with these song names?” Mars asked

“I dunno, just whatever comes to mind, mind counting us off Ryan?” (y/n) pointing at Ryan, guitar pick in hand

“One, two, three, four, one two!”

Warren just so happened to be passing by the music room the band was in and overheard them playing.

Wanting to go unnoticed, he peeked in through the window watching and listening to them play, mostly focusing on (y/n) though.

Jean shortly caught him watching them and overheard what he was thinking

She has a really good singing voice, not to mention how her hair falls perfectly while playing..

“Wow,” Jean interrupting his thought “Never seen you this head over heels for someone, must be pretty special”

“Hey! I’m not ‘head over heels’, okay?“ Warren realizing she knows exactly what she’s talking about “They just sound really good is all”

“Right, just like what you thought on the ride to the movies” Jean flustering the already flustered angel boy even more “You think you’re ever going to tell her?”

“How do you- look, quit reading my thoughts okay? I don’t have anything to tell her” Warren becoming a little defensive “We’re just friends”

“Warren, you’re only friends for so long before she moves on” Jean trying to convince him

“Moves on? what’s that supposed to mean?” Warren asked confused

“You’re going to see what I mean, just waiting around doing nothing” Jean then walking off

Move on?... does she mean... no

Warren takes one more glance of (y/n) playing before walking off

———

In his room who he shared with Kurt, laying on his bed thinking to himself

Should I tell her?... Will someone else come along?...

Kurt and Alex bursting in throwing Warrens train of thought off, both seeing his worry almost immediately

Kurt, trying to be a good friend crouched down near Warren “You have immense sadness in your eyes friend, tell us what’s wrong?”

Warren, not wanting to talk about it, but not wanting to come off too mean, “Ok Blue, listen, I don’t want to talk about anything, especially with you” eventually just walking out in a huff

“... Think it was something I said?” Kurts ears flopped in a sad manner, Peter assuring him it was him “Ah jeez, he’s been like this since our horror movie trip plan fell through, must’ve really wanted to watch that movie..”

What would I ever say.. How would I even say it... when.. should I say... GAH! I hate this! I’m going to workout

Walking in the locker room , he ran into Scott already talking to friends.

His friends having already gotten ready before him, they went on ahead leaving Scott alone with Warren.

“Hey Warren! I haven’t talked to you since the horror movie fail, how’ve you been man?” Scott trying to spark a small conversation getting ready

“Yeah I’ve been fine” Warren already disconnecting from the world around him

“Yeah, you never told us how your trip to the music shop with (y/n) was” Scott joked

“It was fine” Warren replied coldly

“Fine enough you started acting less cranky all the time?”

“It was until you opened your mouth” Warren getting done before Scott and heading into the gym

———

In her room, (y/n) and Jubilee are planning the elementary classes Summer picnic, it was a special request by Charles.

“So that’s 25 turkey sandwiches for the kids with nut allergies.. and 45 pb & j’s.. in total thats.. 70 sandwiches, whoooff” (y/n) laying back in her bed just wanting to go to sleep even thought it was only 4:37pm

“Ok Scott called the ice cream parlor and they did have each classes flavor selections, but we do have to go pick them up ourselves the day of,” (y/n), Jubilee, Scott and Jean have all been tasked in helping plan this picnic for some time.

“Ok I guess that just leaves... actually making the sandwiches, sorting the sandwiches, and picking up everything else.. ugh, I don’t hate these kids but why do there have to be so many of them” (y/n) was super exhausted

“Doesn’t your reality manipulation allow you to multiply objects?”

“I don’t have it under control yet, so as of the moment.. no”

“Well not taking the easy way goes to show how much you care right? Besides, isn’t one of your band members attending this picnic? Ryan Dust, right?”

“Husk, and yes, he is coincidentally in the class I’ll be helping supervise”

“You see? wouldn’t it be just awesome for little Ryan to his bands leader working hard?”

“Ugh... I guess so”

“Well I gotta get going” Jubilee started packing her things, “I gotta meet with Jane and discuss seating arrangements, see if you can get any help with the sandwiches, maybe ask Warren?”

“Why Warren?” (y/n) confused why Jubilee specifically said Warren

“Why not Warren? Doesnt Ryan look up to Warren as a drummer? I’m sure it would make Ryan super motivated to see two people he looks up to working so hard”

“Yea ok but-“

“Hold that but. I gotta go, talk later”

With that over, for now, (y/n) started cleaning up the mess of papers on her bed and grabbed her phone to call Warren, voicemail.

Huh... guess he’s busy right now.. I’ll ask again later... but I might forget to ask later and he might over book his schedule, he really needs to stop doing that... Oh! I know! I’ll set a reminder on my phone! this phone has a reminder app doesn’t it?

Navigating her phone proved to be more difficult than she anticipated, considering she’s had her phone longer than a month, it was still her first phone, her brother got it for her before she left, she never really got around to learning how to use it.

Getting frustrated not finding what she needed using her phone, (y/n) opted to asking Warren in person

———

Running around the whole mansion looking for Warren and even asking people who knew him if they saw him around, no luck.

Until she ran into Kurt and Peter in the main hall, (y/n) immediately running up to them and asking both if the saw him anywhere.

“Uh, yeah last we saw him, he was heading to the gym, looked like he was going through it,” Peter answered, Kurt immediately agreeing, “Ja, He stormed off after I asked him what was wrong..”

What was wrong? Going through it? What’s happening with Warren?

Peter then reassuring Kurt it wasn’t his fault Warren was upset, “Dude, I told you, he’s been like this since that movie we went to go see sold out on movie tickets, like I said, he’s probably just pissed he didn’t get to see it”

“Been like what?” (y/n) now concerned

“Well it’s kinda difficult to explain but more happy in a way kinda, but also crank now that he’s more happy, y’know?”

(y/n) understood what he meant, “Yea.. well I’ll ask him about it once I find him, thank guys,” (y/n) then running off towards the gym, the two boys nodding and continuing on with their day.

———

(y/n) made it to the gym, not having really used it yet, she just ran in looking for Warren, she figured she’d look for his wings since they were easy to spot.

After a few minutes of looking, (y/n) eventually spotted Warren lifting weights on a bench in the back.

She was waving and shouting to him hoping he’d notice but he wasn’t paying attention and had his music in.

(y/n) decided she’d approach him and get his attention that way, upon approaching him she tapped his shoulder hoping it would get his attention, big mistake.

Tapping Warrens shoulder triggered his fight instincts and whipped around with full wing span, cutting (y/n) in the face.

She fell to the ground dazed holding her face, Warren immediately realizing what he’s done he immediately runs to her and gives her a towel to cover her cut with.

Scott noticing the commotion ran over to help Warren rush (y/n) to med.

———

Outside of med Warren was pacing back and forth while Scott was sitting on a bench, both waiting for Hank and (y/n).

Warren couldn’t stop pacing, Scott tried to relieve him,” Hey look, worst case scenario, she just has some light scarring..”

Warren immediately erupting, “No! Don’t you get it??! This whole thing means I haven’t changed a bit since Apocalypse!!,” Warren having remembered his nature when he aligned with Apocalypse over 2 years ago.

“Hey! Now don’t say that! You obviously didn’t mean to hurt her, you obviously aren’t the same from then“ Scott trying to assure Warren he isn’t the same from back then, “Look! even you and Kurt can live in the same room! Surely that means something”

“Yea, not like we ever talk,” Warren denying everything Scott was saying, Scott still trying to convince him otherwise, “Even Kurt considers you a friend now, he never saw you as a bad guy Warren, no one has, not even Charles”

Warren still not listening stormed off again, tears almost forming in his eyes, not too long after, Hank brought (y/n) with a clean bill of health apart from the bandage on her face, and a lollipop

“Nothing too bad, the bleeding stopped, it’s best to keep the bandage on to prevent bacteria from getting in,” Hank explained to Scott

“Thanks Mr. Hank, also for the lollipop” (y/n) gratefully thanked, then looking around for Warren “Where’d Warren go?”

“Oh, Warren... he needed to go... take care of something,” Scott nervously told (y/n) not wanting to worry her by telling her he stormed off because he’s afraid he’s the same as when he was with Apocalypse

“Oh... I just needed to talk to him about something..”

“About the sandwiches for the picnic right? Jubilee asked Peter if he could help, with Peter the sandwiches will be done in a second”

(y/n) shaking her head, “No, not that... I needed to ask him about.. something else”

Scott a little confused but realizing, “You’re not.. mad at Warren now are you?” Scott reluctantly asked (y/n)

(y/n) shaking her head again, “Of course not, I probably shouldn’t have snuck up on him like that, it’s just as much my fault I got this that it his,” (y/n) immediately placing the blame on herself for something that obviously wasn’t her fault or Warrens

Both Hank and Scott try to reassure it wasn’t either sides fault

“Well, I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, I just... I need to talk to him”

“Well.. it’s probably not the best time to... bother him, he’s got some .. things to take care of right now,” Scott trying to avoid even more problems between them

“Maybe, but he’s.. my friend, I need to know if he’s alright” (y/n) then speed walking off to go find Warren

“Ah jeez...” Scott sighed

“Think they’re... actually going to talk about... that?” Hank asked

“I dunno, I just hope they’re able to work things out”

———

Having run through the whole mansion looking for Warren once again, (y/n) was certain she knew where he was, but to no avail. On her way back to her room, she noticed the attic ceiling hatch and realized.

“Tch- could he...,” (y/n) began opening the hatch letting the ladder down then ascending up into the attic.

“Hello-“ (y/n) checking to see if anyone was up there, then there he was. Not wanting to alarm him again, she slowly arose from the hatch and go up slowly as to not to alarm him. Warren was just sitting on a window sill looking out, lost in thought

W: *Why did I do that... I told myself she.. I was going to...*

(y/n): *Ok, I can see he isn’t paying attention again... this time I’ll... I’ll call him softly as to not to trigger his attack again*

(y/n) reluctantly took a step closer, stepping on a creaky floorboard thus alerting Warren, Warren looked over and sat up immediately, panic in his eyes.

“(y/n)!” Warren stuttered

“Hi! uh.. I just wanted to check up on you ‘cus I heard from Peter and Kurt that-“ (y/n) trying to be friendly with Warren then cutting her off

“(y/n)! y-you shouldn’t be here, it’s not-“ Warren spat out nervously with (y/n) cutting him off in return

“Ok ok I know I know, you had some stuff to think about but, I just wanted to say I’m sorry I snuck up on you like that, I should have probably alerted you before approaching you, you just had your music in I didn’t know-“ Warren then cutting her off once again “Look. (y/n), I am truly sorry I cut your face but.. you shouldn’t be around me, I’m just-“

“What? Dangerous? just ‘cause you have metal wings? there are people in this world without metal wings who I’m scared of more than you”

“(y/n)-”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me like that I just.. at first I wanted to ask you about sandwiches but.. Peter and Kurt told me you’ve been ‘going through it’, their words not mine, and I just wanted to see exactly... what it is you’re going through..”

“(y/n), listen, you don’t understand, I’m the Archangel of Death! I don’t belong anywhere here, I just-“ Warren spewed out with (y/n) cutting him off again

“Warren! just shut up and listen to what I have to say!” she bursted out, continuing “I know you don’t mean any harm even whatever happened in the past, I’m not sure what all happened but that’s hopefully why I’m here, I just want to be there for someone who makes this place feel more like home even though we don’t meet up a lot”

“y/n), I-“

“Being here was scary but being here with you.. made it less scary, I don’t know if you feel the same way about me but.. I want. to be there for you when I can, Warren” (y/n) then taking a step closer knowing Warren can’t go anywhere

“Being around you.. I feel.. like maybe being here isn’t so bad, like maybe I can actually make something of myself here, like maybe.. you aren’t so bad..” (y/n) holding herself with tears welling up in her eyes

“I don’t know if you feel the same around me but.. that’s how I feel.. about you” (y/n) finally finishing

“(y/n)...” (y/n) holding for impact, entirely expecting him to reject her feeling, “I feel the same way about you,” Warren then taking a step closer

(y/n) almost gasped not believing what she heard

“Being around you.. brings me to a simpler time in my life and.. whenever we do meet up or bump into each other that feeling washes over me completely and.. I thought you hated my guts when we first met. You calling me angel boy, me calling you trash panda.. I never thought you’d want to talk to me ‘cus..” Warren expanding his wings and motion to them “I also wanted to be there for you when I could but.. I never saw you during the day, so I just..”

Both of them just stood there, looking into each other’s eye, then both taking another step closer to one another.

“Can I..” Warren started, looking deep into (y/n)’s yellow golden eyes, “Can I.. kiss.. you?”

(y/n) tears streaming down her face, just stood there looking up at Warren, not even answering him, she jumped up wrapping her arms around his neck just going for it. They kissed, Warren holding her close to him, (y/n) hasn’t felt so safe since she moved, Warrens wings around both of them. After what felt like forever only being 8 seconds, they separated kissing still holding each other.

“Well... ever kiss a raccoon face girl?” (y/n) joked

“He he, uh.. no but it was definitely a fine start”

Both chuckling before kissing again

———

A/N: if this sucked plz tell me, bully me if it was actually bad :D

[yuzuka-rei]

my last hours: chain of gold review

its practically tradition for me, every time i finish a cassie claire book, i whip open my long abandoned tumblr and yell about characters. 

discussion is always welcome but if you’re like SUPER into this book don’t read this you’ll just get mad. also claire dont read this. 

my biggest problem with this book is that it doesn’t take enough risks, it sticks to a known successful formula (the infernal devices remains the best shadowhunters series) and what results is a book that is nostalgic, not bad, but not breaking any new ground. 

i’ll talk about what i liked first. i loved some of the storylines claire brought up in this book, BUT SHE BARELY EXPANDED ON ANY OF THEM.

you know what would’ve felt fresh and painful? charles fairchild. i want to read about Charles Fairchild, and his ambition, i want to read about his love for Alastair and how all he wishes is for his lover to just understand how much he *wants* to be consul. i want to read about his conflicted affection for Ariadne. i want to sympathise with HIM, because that would be so interesting, similar to what we had with jessamine, but with a man this time. we don’t have to like him, he just has to be interesting. 

what i’d also have loved would be more about lucie’s insecurity about being “the second herondale”. tbh, it would’ve been really interesting for her to have turned to the dark but this is a shadowhunters book the moral conflict always comes with the relationships, not the fantasy plot. but anyways what is the DEAL with “the beautiful cordelia” that is the fucking gayest thing i have ever laid eyes on in my entire life. also thats all lucie and cordelia’s relationship is based on, just the fact that lucie writes to cordelia, and it makes it feel so cheap because all cordelia does is think about james. lucie reminds me of dru, the forgotten younger sister, but because dru was not expanded on in tda i think it would’ve been fresh to read about lucie and her insecurity

also: matthew fairchild. right now he feels super repetitive, basically just will herondale again but this time he also fucks boys!! what a CHANGE. will shouldve been able to see his younger self in matthew and help him, so this makes minimal sense. even if we *have* to have this super repetitive plot element, i want to read about matthew and how he is different drunk and sober. i want to see him literally fail his friends and risk their lives, multiple times, because he is too drunk to do shit. i want to see him sober, suddenly so uncharming and pitiful. also i fucking want to see hints that he’s in love with cordelia. yes there are “hints”, but this “love” feels really cheap as well. basically so many of the relationships in cog feel super cheap because you’re supposed to believe that matthew falls in love with cordelia because of like three interactions. (although a parallel to this would be cristina and mark, who also didn’t have that much interaction before they fell in love, but mark was so broken and cristina is literally the sweetest, that made more sense. matthew and cordelia?? kinda a cheap play esp considering how will and jem were also parabatai) 

WRITE MORE ABOUT ALASTAIR. matthew seems way too put together and a “tragic romantic figure” in this book to make us Really see alastair as someone who should be hated. i want to HATE alastair but at the same time feel so much pity and pride for him. i know claire tried to make us dislike him but didnt work lol

oh i also loved the merry thieves i LOVE their friendship please give me more of that sweet sweet friendship juice. now this sort of marauders (im sorry im such a big marauders fan) brotherhood is something i haven’t seen from claire before and id love to read more about it

NOW I SCREAM ABOUT WHAT I DISLIKED

1, james fucking herondale. he is the most blandly and poorly written “male lead” in a claire book i’ve read for a long time. i’m all for reading about very stupid boys who are stupid about girls but the whole wild shift between grace and cordelia makes him seem like trash even with the bracelet influence. i disliked julian (i literally forgot his name and had to search it up), but julian’s fierce devotion to his family was interesting and grounded him. james is just ?? i guess he has the ability to go to the shadow realm?? like ngl i know nothing about his character and tbh i dont want to know more. 

2, cordelia. carstairs. who is basically if you scrambled clary and emma together and added a pinch of cristina. she’s not a BAD character, and since we’re supposed to see her as the “self insert” (i assume), her being a bit bland was probably intended. but this IS like... the fourth shadowhunter series. can we get a female character who is the hot troubled one instead?? i want HER to be the one with the tragic terrible secret, i want her to lash out and go drinking and push everyone away. cordelia in this book exists to love and protect james, and that makes her... even more boring than clary, who you know at least had her own strong agenda instead of this “oh i have to save my father wait hes a drunk” arc

3, matthew fairchild is basically just will herondale if he were less in love with his parabatai and more gay coded (oscar wilde?? waistcoats?? really???) . i wish he were written as a proper casanova, seen dating a different girl or boy every scene because then it would Hurt to see cordelia dismiss his feelings because of his behaviour. tbh i just,,, like matthew fairchild but hes so similar to will it hurts that his potential is being squandered.

4, this book just feels like tid but the side characters are like the tda ones. 

5, anna lightwood is basically magnus bane and i hate it but i love it

6, tbh most of the romances weren’t heart wrenching. cordelia having to marry james as an alibi was the only cool thing out of this book and even that was a bit odd. alastair being charles’ secret lover was Pretty out of the blue and that hurt but he literally left the relationship after one scene?? thats not realistic?? i want alastair to fall back into old habits, then try to leave again, then fall back again, then leave for Good. all of these romances are so whirlwild and mean so little, and they probably seem really cool to a 14 year old child but now they just feel... childish and stupid. TDA may have spoilt me for well built relationships, as much as i dislike emma and julian, their romance made SENSE. kit and ty? had feelings development. kieran and mark had their whole “we had to love each other to survive but now we don’t have to now what” struggle that was well laid out anyways. 

BASICALLY, THE CHARACTERS IN THIS BOOK WERE WRITTEN TO BE IMMATURE, SHELTERED 17 YEAR OLDS AND IT’S UNSURPRISINGLY BORING TO READ 

also: if jesse blackthorn, a dear character in our hearts, showed love towards his mother, she would feel more three dimensional but alas sakjfh

[prorevenge]

Call Me Mean Shit AND Cheat On Your Fiancé? Here, Let Me Ruin Your Dating Life

So, first post here, kinda scared, but oh well. Also, this is kinda very long so, uh, grab your stash of candy or whatever and enjoy I guess. This also happened a few years ago so it's kinda fuzzy

First, I'll introduce you to the cast. The reason I describe their personalities and some of their looks is because it comes into play a little later. A little context is that I come from a considerably large family, with five siblings. My parents died when I was around four (or at least, I've been told), so my older brothers were my main caretakers. Mostly Lukas 'cause he had a lot of time on his hands. We are all blonde with grey/blue eyes except for my only sister, who got most of her traits from our mother.

(these are listed in order from oldest to youngest (for siblings), also, you can probably tell we're of Scandi origin so shut up any racist bastards out there)

Markus: quite tall, around 5'9, but his spiked hair adds to his height, so he really looks like he's 6'2. He is the big dummy of the family, but is still very lovable. Very loyal and it is very rare for him to betray someone. Kinda like a giant puppy or a really tall child. He's super kind and hardworking, and you can rarely see him shout, get angry, or ignore anyone. His personality is very important later

Lukas: also quite tall, around 5'9 as well, but looks hella shorter cause of Markus' goddamn hair. His most prominent feature is his eyes. This hard, cold, emotionless, and dead scary blue eyes. He could kill you with his glare if he wanted. He controls his emotions very well, and it's hard to get him to loose his temper. He's also kind of a drag queen. His personality is also very important later

Erik: on the shorter side, he acts like your insecure and awkward teen all the time. Doesn't like confrontation, and would rather spend his time studying for Uni than actually talking

Hilde: a little taller than Erik, which is embarrassing for him, brunette, hazel eyes, a slightly darker complexion. Acts like an awkward mix between Erik and Markus, her looks are important

WellInTheory: the shortest of the all ;n;, but still considerably tall compared to the average. Looks a lot like Lukas, with grey eyes instead. I have a short temper, if you know how to set it off, but otherwise, I'm pretty chill. The most important thing to note is that: I love my brothers to no end. Hell, I missed one of my Uni finals for Markus *very very very important*

EB: entitled bitch, Markus' fiancée whom I just happen to hate very, very much

Now that we've gone through introductions, let's begin, shall we?

So, here's the background information: Me, Hilde, and Erik are all in UNi. Erik in his third year while me and Hilde were in our second. Luckily, Markus and Lukas have a house so us three are staying there

Markus had come from the local bar with EB. Now, it was 3 AM at the time so none of us knew (he called a cab). In the morning, since I'm always the first to wake up to go to morning lectures, I go down for breakfast, and low and behold, there is EB, standing in the kitchen with my brothers fucking makeup on her fucking face. So naturally, I had no clue she was there and instantly panic. I grab the nearest frying pan and threaten her with it.

Me: Uhm, who the fuck are you, why do you have my brother's make up on, and why the fuck are you in our house?

EB: oh, didn't you know, you must not be very sharp then! Markus brought me home with him~ I'm EB, Markus' girlfriend~~~~~

Me: okay, that explains two questions, now answer the last

EB: what do you mean

Me: *deep inhale* I MEAN, why the fuck do you have my brother's makeup on?!

EB: it's not hissss~

Me: yes it issssssssss (me mocking her)

At this point she just ignores me and pulls her phone out of her purse, and I happen to catch a glimpse of Lukas' eyeshadow palette in it. Of course, I lunge and pull it out of her purse instead of asking for it like a normal person. EB starts shouting at me that "I stole her makeup" and that "you will pay for this!". Yea right. I just stole back something you stole originally. Just at the right time, Lukas comes down, searching for his makeup and his coffee. He notices EB and basically asks her the exact same questions, and she responds with the exact same answers. Another perfect timing, and Markus comes down. Same questions, but now:

Markus: why do you have Lukas' makeup on?

EB: oh this, this isn't his. At least, not anymore. It's not like he needs it, he's so ugly even this makeup can't cover it!~ (keep in mind my brother was constantly getting hit on by boys and girls alike, ie. he's one of the prettiest men out there (its my opinion (no I am not incest (fight me James Charles fans))))

Markus: it doesn't explain why you stole his makeup--

at this, EB cuts him off and starts throwing a fucking tantrum

EB: YOU'RE JUST SIDING WITH HIM CAUSE HE'S YOU LITTLE BOYFRIEND!!!!11!!1!!!1!1 WHEN YOU BROUGHT ME HOME I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY LOVED ME11!!!1!1!!111

*dead silence*

EB: whAT/!?!?11/!? oh so NOW you're scared--

Markus: Lukas is my brother...

Needless to say, she was embarrassed, but that did not stop her for ridiculing me

EB: well, that doesn't matter, that little girl shouldn't have reached into my bag, it's a violation of private property

And literally everyone in the room (except maybe Markus cause he's too nice for his own good) was literally like: no u, but in a mental or very quiet way.

Time passes, I get to witness Markus get harasses verbally daily by EB and as he drifts away from our little family.

Finally, the last semester of Uni arrives.

Over the course of multiple stressful weeks, EB just gets more and more annoying, and for some reason, she absolutely hates me and my sister, but mostly my sister. Why? cause she's a racist bitch that clearly doesn't understand genetics.

EB: WHY IS THAT UGLY BLACK BITCH EVEN LIVING WITH YOU?!?!

Markus: cause she's our sister--

EB: NO SHE ISN'T!!!1!11!!! SHE DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE YOU!!!111!1

Markus: well thats because--

EB: I. DON'T. CARE!1111!!!!!!! JUST GET HER OUT OF MY SIGHT1!!!11

Markus: why?

EB: CAUSE SHE'S BLACK!111!! and YOU

she turns to me, who had just come through the fucking door

EB: YOU'RE JUST A NARCISSISTIC LITTLE WHORE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING BRAIN!!!11!1!!!!

I had just come back from a particularly confusing lecture and my mind was still swimming at the new information thrown at me, and I was now being yelled at the moment I stepped through

Me: ...wha...?

It was all I could manage

EB: SEE? SEE?!?!??! SHE'S FUCKING BRAINDEAD AND USELESS!!!!! THE SLUT AND WHORE IS ONLY OUT TO GET OLDER MEN-

She's abruptly cut off as Erik, who had come down a few minutes earlier and was watching from afar, and Lukas stepped in front of me. Lukas gives his signature death glare and leads me away.

Lukas: insult us one more time and you'll be prohibited to come in contact with any of our family, you racist son of a bitch. Markus, you can follow her if you wish.

Erik: I wonder what Markus sees in you...

EB: a- wha- bu- AFAKLDAHFALHF (no really its what it sounded like)

this is surprising cause as mentioned before, Erik HATES confrontation and Lukas rarely looses his temper.

Fast forward a little, I'm hanging out with my friends at the local pub, when suddenly...

EB: AND OMGGGGGG WellInTheory IS SUCH A BITCH11!!!!1!!111!!!!!!

She continues complaining about me loudly, so naturally, I take out my phone and record the whole, goddamn thing. But I also recorded something I didn't expect.

EB, started to french kiss some guy. I don't know what this whore was thinking, but it seemed no one cared except for me. After she finished making out, she starts to complain about me and my sister loudly for another 10 mins or so before leaving.

I captured the whole thing. Markus and EB's marriage was going to happen in less than two days. You know what this means? Simple. Nuclear revenge! In the purest form, over the course of many years! :D

So I drive home as fast as I can without violating any laws, and run into our house. EB had gone home with one of those three men to do some sacrilegious acts, I would presume. I leap up the stairs and crash through Markus' door, then shove the video into his face.

...

I had to comfort him for five hours. FIVE. HOURS. He was that distraught at the video, and had either cried or hiccupped while ranting to me. Lukas, Erik, and Hilde eventually came in as well, probably to complain about the noise, only to find Markus breaking down and had to help as well.

After he had calmed down enough to form legible words, I presented my nuclear revenge plan. Everyone was in on it in some way or another, and they all loved it.

​

Fast forward, (wow there are a lot of these) and it's now the wedding day.

Markus had asked whether EB wanted him to invite his siblings, she of course, said no. But here we are, dressed in our best dresses. Erik, being the sneakiest one of all, had switched EB's wedding dress to the exact same dress me and Hilde were wearing an hour earlier. Lukas and Erik were wearing the exact same suit EB's secret boyfriend was and EB's father were wearing. When EB sees us, she goes fucking insane.

EB: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?! I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME

Lukas: Really now...? We got invitations~ Signed by you at that

EB: WHAT?! SHOW THEM TO ME

Lukas hands over four invitations that indeed, has her signature on them. She became furious, and of course, started dumping all the blame on me and Hilde. I could clearly tell that my brothers were livid. They however, kept it all in as they waited for the plan to unfold further.

We could tell people were staring at EB, me, and Hilde because of the dresses. We had specifically chosen dresses that better suited me and Hilde's body types, and looked absolutely horrendous on EB. Some brighter people were starting to laugh as they figured out the plan to destroy the wedding. It's time for wedding vows. As request from the four of us, the officiant asked for EB's vow first.

Officiant: do you take Markus as your husband?

EB: yES~~~~

Here, is where shit went down

Officiant: Markus, do you take EB as your wife?

Markus: do I? Well, considering she hates the rest of my living family enough to deny them any access to my wedding, and considering she cheated on me with some random guy... what do you think?

Lukas: considering the points you just listed, I'd say no to this marriage. She always smelt bad, and she would always take forever in the shower anyways...

Erik: agreed. and besides, what whore french kisses a random guy in the public? and you call WellInTheory a slut... Also, the fact you denied wearing and stealing Lukas' makeup... just...

Hilde: take that you racist bitch. I hope whatever's left of your clearly broken family sobers up and disowns you forever. I hope to see you on the streets!!

Me: so I'm the slut, "just out there to get older men", eh? yea, I think not. I mean look at you! You even copied our dress! how shameful. And the fact that your secret boyfriend is here as well, wearing the same suit as my brothers... shame...

EB just stood there, with her mouth easily catching three of four flies per minute

Markus: I think... nah. I'll not marry you. My family's right, you are a disgusting bitch. Now, where's the cake?

The rest of the wedding was spent laughing at, ridiculing, or completely avoiding EB, and a cake fight happened. EB was crying over how "I THOUGHT YOU WERE LOYAL TO ME MARKUS AAAAAAAAGHHHH" or something like that, and every time she tried to rekindle their relationship, Markus would either laugh at her, throw a scalding comment at her, act like she was the black plague, or just flat out ignore her. Remember when I said Markus' personality would be important later? Yea, this was why.

​

I also stalked her on IG, Facebook, etc. Anytime she got another boyfriend, I sent the video to said boyfriend and warned them and also suggested them to check her phone. They always broke up a day later.

​

I've mostly gotten over it now, but still occasionally destroy some relationships just to remind her. After all, you mess with my brothers? I ruin your life. Mutual, I think.

(source) story by (/u/WellInTheory)

[nomorevanillabeanicecream]

no more vanilla bean ice cream

they were out of vanilla bean ice cream, they had vanilla, french vanilla, sweet cream vanilla and cheesecake vanilla, but not vanilla bean, when did everyone all of a sudden get into vanilla bean, everyone was a pig they could not care less about the bean in the vanilla or not, but now apparently everyone was into vanilla bean ice cream because last week there was a full row of umpqua vanilla bean ice cream and now there was none

so I’m waiting in line at safeway with my subpar vanilla ice cream after I had gone on a much needed quarantine run right after spending two hours texting my friend and she was telling me about how google owns all the data in the world and not only has enough data to know me better than myself, but since they know everyone else’s data too, they know my friends data so they know me in context, the whole thing was very depressing so depressing i didnt even want to use a period in my writing anymore because what the fuck was the point of punctuation anyway in this world, i would still be nice and use commas, just to give my fingers a break and be able to get a thought in or so. 

i guess i could also accommodate for paragraphs break at visually appropriate times, it didn't matter if it was contextually appropriate or not, i was going to drop a paragraph break because i know people like paragraphs, charles dickens and dostoevsky and jane austen and leo tolstoy never made paragraph breaks that's why no one ever read their books, people just say they read them to seem smart but they never really read them they just knew it was the right thing to say that they were literary geniuses because their books were so long, see people like to lie and say they know the work of a great author even though they only read a few  quotes by them, but that was enough to say good and bad things about writers without ever knowing what the hell they did, few understand the theory of relativity but everyone calls einstein a genius. 

the thing about quarantine was that at this point i had gotten used to seeing very few people in my life and i was enjoying it so whenever i had to go to the supermarket i had to see all these people and boy were they gross, maybe i would not have seen them as so gross if had gotten my vanilla bean ice cream but i had not so, they were gross, they were all getting so fat, and fat in like weird ways, not like fat on the sides like the michelin tire guy or a cute belly like the pillsbury dough boy or like that kinda funny superfat like homer simpson or peter griffin they were just gross fat, like it looked like they had just been eating garbage and watching netflix fat, like this one guy seemed like if you got a pillowcase filled it up with hot lard and then poked two pool cues on the bottom of it, this other lady looked like a minifridge emptied into a potato sack.

the asses were the worst part, it was kinda hot so everyone was wearing shorts and it was not appropriate when they wear shorts always have that like red line right under the shorts and it does not look that great, the oddest one was the skinny ass but with fat legs, i did not get that one, the person would have no ass mass at all but then the legs were super fat i did not understand what they were doing to get their bodies to look this way, a lot of people were also walking around with wedgies, a lot of people were also walking around in pajamas covered in animal hair and it was gross, its like you have nowhere to go, you are all complaining about not having the right to go out, so when you do go out why not maybe spruce things up, honour life, honour your fellow human, no, screw that we are all going to behave like the whole entire public sphere is a big ass pijama party,

the whole facemask thing, wait before, i start talking about the facemask thing, everytime i start a new paragraph, google is trying to force me into capitalizing the first letter, it doesn't even ask me if i want to capitalize it, it just goes ahead and does it, google is such an presumptuous douche sometimes, now when i write in gmail, it autocompletes all my sentences, great so we can all sound like robots, and it does it like automatically, so i ending having to erase the lame sentence it wrote, i mean i would have probably come up with something similar or exactly the same too, after all there are only  so many ways to say goodbye, but id like to think it was my idea, these engineers had no savoir faire, just so you know, so now i hope that everytime you start to read a new paragraph you imagine me hitting the backspace button to delete their fascist capital letters, and its frustrating because im really trying to write as fast as i can, i bet you can tell

see it happened again, and its not that i just have to hit the delete, i have to get my mouse and put my cursor there so it like detects its not just on mistake i am trying to delete their smartass capital letter, so yeah to the facemask thing, the whole facemask thing was pretty dumb, i mean if the facemask was the windshield to the coronavirus i didnt get how casual people were being about, they would just pull it right down under their noise, oh great now you have all your coronavirus on your nostrils, what the hell, i didnt get it, im pretty sure noone in that safeway store had coronavirus, and it was coronavirus not covid19, what is it about us having to find dandy little names for things, it was the coronavirus and thats that, so yeah we were all carrying about these facemasks that if they were really protecting us from the coronavirus lingering in the air then we were being flagrantly irresponsible in our use, but deep down we all felt it wasnt, but we just had to wear one because it was the rule, but we all knew noone in the store had coronavirus

it may sound weird, but i think you know when someone has coronavirus, its like you can just tell, you know like other things you can just tell about a person, i remember i once went up to san francisco about a month ago, and i saw this guy on the muni line headed to the bayview that for sure had coronavirus, he wasnt coughing or anything, but i saw him and i knew he definitely had coronavirus, it wasnt because he was black or chinese or  anything, this isnt like a hidden racist joke, i could just tell, i freaked out , and i havent gone up to the city since then, and then, lo and behold they announced that a muni driver got the corona and that the bayview district had the most corona cases in the cities, see sometimes you can just tell

im pretty sure that day i even had the corona on me, i mean i didnt get it, but im pretty sure it landed on my hand, but i washed it before i touched any of my mucous parts, but it was there with me, i dont think it was from the guy on the bus thought, i think it landed from this other guy, i went to a deli to buy water, bananas, coca cola and chocolate and this guy was kinda drunk and talking real loud and coming real close and i could feel the air get really moist when he passed by me and my hand was exposed and i know that at that moment some of it got on my hand, but i didnt panic, i knew i couldnt lose my cool, i had to just play it smooth, and wait till i could get to the studio and wash my hand and everything else, i was really thorough i walked the whole way back to the studio with my hand outstretched so it wouldnt touch my jacket or anything, i could feel it was there, it was for sure there, but i played it cool and washed it and nothing happen, but i was that close 

 and thats why you have to wash your hands because you could be that close too to having coronavirus, so see im not that crazy, that the reason they recommend us all to wash our hands, because at some point it could be that close to you, and if you don't wash your hand before your touch your eye, boom you got coronavirus, crazy to think that you too could have had coronavirus on you, and you could have, but now i think there isnt that much coronavirus on things anywhere, i think the coronavirus is like hiding or something, i think the coronavirus are like finding their niches and stuff, like if you ask me i think the coronavirus right now is probably somewhere where the sun dont shine, i bet it like flew to a a dirty dive bar that was totally shut down windows boarded and everything, but its there just chilling on the sticky counter, waiting to come back in the summer, i also think it might be at like some nasty to-go food place, like there is this wing place open till midnite around my house, i bet there is a little coronavirus there, but only a little bit, and its like one of the lazy ones, so i dont think it feels like jumping on anyone

at work i have to tell the staff how to wash their hands, i tell them they have to wash on top of their hand, palm of their hand, each finger, in between fingers, under the finger nails, and up to the elbow, but i mean if they have coronavirus, and their touching my food, i think its going to get on the to go box anyway, but its the rules so i play along, i even translated the rules, and told them to sign a paper, the paper also said that they had to wear a facemask, its not like they have multiple facemasks, i mean we are going to give them a few, but its up to them to wash it, one guy asked me if he could use the same one for a few days, i told him no, but i mean even if he washes his facemask before work and then lets say he puts it in his pocket, what if his jacket has corona but his facemask doesnt, itd be a real shame if his corona jacket infected his noncorona facemask, but i saw him and i dont think he had corona anyway

im repeating the same point and the rant is losing steam, so i gotta ramp it back up, or maybe no, maybe its not all just about ranting, maybe i should tell you some good things, like ill tell you about my run, the day was so nice, it was bright and sunny, and thats really all i gotta say, the point that i have more to say about right now is that i feel like im writing like that kid from catcher in the rye, that kid was a real case, i cant say i disliked the kid, but i wouldnt hang out with him, i mean in general i wouldnt be hanging out with high schoolers, but i might hang out with him after he grows up, i think we were all like that kid at some point, and the ones that arent, are soul dead and just go to work and drink craft beer and probably become those engineers without savoir faire that figure out the code to finish my email sentences

but i also feel that i am writing likes james joyce in ulysses, those are two books that i read from cover to cover ulysses and catcher in the rye, all it takes is a good fucked up guy to write something honest and you can get me to finish it, james joyce was all about stream of consciousness, crazy to think that ulysses is regularly named the best book of the century, and it wasnt even that bad of a century for books, it was a crazy book, and it was daring and new to just expose how he felt a person thought, and i mean it was pretty smart, because that is how we think, we jump around and we get nervous and self conscious and horny and we think in simple letters, and our memories associate things weirdly, i mean dante was the best writer of all the time, but i dont know anyone that thinks inside their brain in metered stanzas, if there was such a person, i dont know if id like to meet him, it would be a lot to handle good novels have taught me a lot, they've confused me too, but overall taught me things, see life is a grey thing, like there arent absolute values, 

for us human beings, its easy to think of things as black and white, good and bad, yes or no, but thats not how it goes, there is a lot of grey area, and thats why i guess i liked ulysses, see the whole book is about this guy that is roaming around dublin, while he knows his wife is cheating on him, the last chapter is a stream of consciousness from his wifes mind, in which she just goes through her mind thinking about her past lovers and this guy she is cheating on her husband with, and ultimately she feels bad and when her husband climbs back into bed with her, shes like thinking oh there he is again, old leopold, but hes my leopold and she i guess kinda does admit to loving him, life hurts like that sometimes, a woman can still love you but cheat on you, a man can do it too, anyone can cheat on you, but still love you, anyone can hurt you and still love you, its a rough reality, remember i wrote an essay on this book, and the teacher said that i should save it and give it to the woman i marry it was so good, i didnt save it so i guess that wont ever happen, i cant even remember what i said, probably something about forgiveness and the abstract beauty of love, i was only twenty, i could have said anything

i wish i could remember what i wrote though, nowadays a lot of people are walking around with fear of intimacy issues, they are scared to open up to people, you know a lot of people are saying that they have intimacy issues, so i wanted to figure out more,  i looked it up on wikipedia and it said there were four types of people, normal people that love themselves and can share intimacy with others, people that think themselves unworthy of intimacy but seek it, people that are scared of being intimate with others out of fear of rejection, and people that have self worth but think others are undeserving of intimacy, i think the whole thing probably comes from parental stuff, that's always the freudian way of looking at things, its kind of a shame because i think people really do like laying in bed and talking comfortably with someone after a wild fuck, when i wrote the essay i didnt have intimacy issues, but i might now, i dont know, and even if  i did i dont know what type of of person i am,  i guess sometimes people do say some stupid things, and stupid things out of  a naked person are the worst kind of stupid things, whatever its wikipedia, anyone could have written, just like the original science study it supposedly based on,

ok this all getting too gooey and it lost its sharp vibe, i think that we were on a roll, when we were on the coronavirus landing places part, but then i get too serious and stuff, i do still want to talk about books i like, you know like thats one of the favorite things english teachers like to do, they like to analyze all the references that an authour made to other books, normally its the bible or the odyssey or some other greek or roman classic, like ulysses was modeled after the odyssey, i remember the teacher always talked about that, ive never read the odyssey or the iliad, ive heard they are great books, but i try not to say it myself, i do say that homer was a great poet though, but i never read his stuff, i mean ive read the first line, but i dont know the whole story or anything, i guess we are all hypocrites at some point or another, i do know however that ulysses was in one of dantes circles of hell, because he was advisor to deceit, the deceit of having that big horse full of soldiers go into to troy, so he ended up in hell, talking about hell that was another book they loved to reference, the bible, the bible doesnt see things grey, they see it black or white, this morning i woke up at four in the morning, and i couldnt get back to bed, so i pulled to a random spot and started reading proverbs, they make it seem so simple, this is good, that is is bad, i wish it were that simple, it used to be that simple like that when i was little kid, maybe it still is but,  i just refuse to see it that way

[clown-bait]

A Very Monster Christmas (Monster Roommate AU) Pt2

WOWW I finally got this out. This one was hard cause theres so much dialogue and I’ve also been dealing with a lot of vacations and work shit going on in my personal life. Finally getting this done though! Lots of Freddy in this chapter. 

-----------------

Gifts

Charles Lee Ray sat up from his bed with a scream. The doll frantically checked his body where moments ago clown/vampire hell spawn had been tearing into his rubber synthetic skin. His wife groaned and rolled over greedily pulling the sheets with her, it was too damn early to deal with Chucky’s bullshit.

“J-just a dream just a fuckin’ dream” he mumbled Tiff flipped onto her back and stared at the ceiling through her eye mask. “It’s six in the damn morning Chucky” she growled.

“I’m gonna go downstairs and everything will be fine and normal and Fangs will be smoking a bowl and not filled with demons.”

“Chucky.”

“And they wont explode out of her and eat me alive.”

“Chucky!”

“And Jingles wont be fuckin’ laughing at me”

“CHUCKY!!” Tiff ripped off her eye mask as she sat up. “IT’S SIX IN THE FUCKING MORNING.”

The killer doll stared shocked and silent at his enraged spouse.

“Go back to sleep.” she grumbled as she attempted to lay down again.

“Look its a valid fear.” Chucky began to ramble and Tiff’s eyes slowly rolled back open. “You saw what happened when we had the twins!! Think about what their hell-spawn will look like!”

“Most of what happened was your fault dear.”

“Ok but Jingles and Fangs are both twice as unstable as we are! At least I don't look at a fuckin toddler and think breakfast!”

“I think you’re letting him get to you. By the way did you tell the clown the kids are coming?” Tiff asked deciding that going back to sleep wasn't an option at this point. Chucky’s eyes went wide.

“Fuck.”

“YOU FORGOT?! If he tries to eat them you're gonna be in a load of trouble!”

“Tiff! it'll be fine! At the worst he’ll just eat Glenn and thats not so bad is it?”

“CHUCKY!”

“All right, all right! I’ll let him know sheesh.”

The doll slipped on a Christmas sweater depicting some sort of reindeer gang bang and shuffled down the stairs of the old house. He heard a loud pleasured groan coming from the couch which usually meant one of two unsavory things in this house both of which Chucky would rather not witness.

“Hey Jingles put your dick away my kids are coming over!” he shouted down from the middle of the stairs deciding that proceeding any further would result in seeing something that would ruin his holiday before it even began. The doll was answered with a gruff swear and grumbling.

“Did you hear me clown?” he called down the steps again.

“Shut up Chuck I'm trying to enjoy my holiday!” a shout called out through the rotting halls.

“Krueger? The fuck are you doing here?” Chucky groaned walking down the stairs and into the room then quickly turned around and swore when he saw the scene on the couch.

“Getting laid jackass what does it look like?” Freddy grumbled zipping up his pants as Chris popped his head up his hair a total sweaty mess under Freddy’s signature fedora.

“You have your own damn house for that shit! Where the fuck is Jingles?” the doll turned away. Great holiday already ruined.

“He’s throwing up with Fangs in the basement.”

“And here I thought you were the freak.” Chucky rolled his eyes.

“He is.” Chris added wiping his mouth.

“Oh come on Chrissy you haven't been complaining.” the dream demon swung a clawed hand over his shoulders in a way that came off more as threatening than affectionate. His knife tipped fingers dug slightly into the humans shirt and a disgusting rotten tongue peaked out from between Freddy’s ruined lips.

“I’m fucking you cause I have nothing left.” Chris flinched at Freddy’s touch.

“Isn’t he great?” the dream demon grinned.

“Yeah pretty sure you traumatized this guy.” Chucky folded his arms over his chest

“Nah Fangs traumatized him, I just cleaned up her mess and stole her leftovers.”

“Your friends are awful people.” Chris hissed at Freddy.

“You’re not wrong buddy! Speaking of I need to find Jingles before he eats my kids or whatever.” Chucky turned to make his way to the kitchen.

“Wow you're a real model parent Chuck.” Freddy called after him striking a nerve.

“Like you know anything about being a dad.” The doll turned around and snapped.

“I do! I was great at it!” Freddy leaned back clicking on the old tv.

“Didn’t your kid try to kill you?” Chucky squinted.

“Didn’t your’s?” Freddy cocked a ruined brow.

“I’m sensing a trend here within our community and our parenting abilities.” the doll said deep in thought.

“So how long do you think Jingles and Fangs will last?” Freddy smirked placing his hands over his head.

“I’ll give em a week.” Chucky laughed.

“Eleven minutes.” Chris chimed in and Freddy laughed.

“Harsh Chrissy. You're probably right.”

“Wellp I’ve lost focus back to bed for me.” Chucky stretched and yawned.

“You’re not going to tell Jingles to forgo the Christmas dinner? Tiff’s gonna cut your nuts off.” Freddy began making a dramatic snipping motion with his claws inches from his human’s nose for dramatic effect.

“Eh knowing Glenda she’ll probably scare him first.”

Freddy laughed and placed his arm around his captive once again as the movie he was looking for began to play. “There goes a very brave and stupid man Chrissy.”

“Fuck you too Fred.”

———————————————

“Hey Pen? Is there any way you can make me forget that?” Leech groaned her back against the clown’s as the pair waited for the nausea to die down in the basement. One of his eyes peeled open and a single molten pupil rolled back in her direction. Pennywise let out a long disgusted growl at the memory he'd just received.

“I’d like to do the same for myself” he finally muttered out and felt a chuckle vibrate against him.

“Well I got the next best thing if you’re interested.”

The eldritch exhaled a gravely sigh “For once, I'm not in the mood.”

“Yeah wasn't talking about that Pen. Sheesh and you say my mind is the one that’s always in the gutter!”

“It is.”

The clown sat up and turned his head to his mate as she pushed off him to walk over to a pile of ancient junk. Penny began making clicking vocalizations indicating interest and skittered up to her the sound of insectile limbs that weren't there trailed behind him as he moved. His noises got louder and Leech felt a large presence behind her trying to nose its way into what she was doing. The vampire batted the giant beast away.

“No peeking big guy and no mind reading this is a surprise.” she scolded him Pennywise grumbled and turned around as she dug into her hiding place. He began to ponder how she was able to get past him when suddenly he got an idea and a faint glow began to illuminate from his eyes. “You have no idea how hard it was to keep this from you, I wanted to give it to you at the end of the celebrations but Fred had to go and be gross.” she rambled not even noticing that her mate had vanished. “I know you collect this shit so I threatened and tortured several people to get this done since you're incredibly hard to shop for.” she continued to ramble to nothing as she pulled out a large flat gift.

“Ok you can look n-Pen?” the nosferatu looked around behind her. “Pennywise?” she called out to him but got no response. “Oh come on I worked really hard on this!” Leech snarled in frustration. “Pen for real this is important to me where the fuck did you go?” after more silence the vampire sent a cacophony of curses into the air before letting out a frustrated screech. Leech felt her vision blur and her offspring threaten to take hold of her again as her temper flared. She grabbed her abdomen and fought them back. “Kids mamma loves you, but we have got to talk about our tantrums.” she grated out against their hold on her, trying to calmly slide Penny’s gift under her arm and climb up the stairs of the basement.

“I take back what I said about your father being a good mate, fucker has the attention span of a goldfish.” she felt a swell in her mind and slammed the door a little too hard behind her. “What don't agree with me? Please don't tell me you've already inherited his superiority complex, some of you gotta be at least a little like me to balance this household out.”

“WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO FANGS?” Freddy yelled from the couch.

“My spawn Freddy go back to getting your dick sucked!” she snarled at the dream demon.

“Man those kids are going to be fucked up!” he laughed “I’m already finished with that anyway get in here were watching Grinch!” Freddy heard a sigh and Leech grumpily placed the unopened christmas gift by the tree before flopping next to her friend and the man who cut off her finger only a few hours ago.  

“So you're dating someone.” the vampire side eyed the dream demon and made a face when she saw he hadn't bothered to put pants back on.

“You can talk to me too you know I'm right here.” Chris grumbled.

“I’m fucking someone theres a difference Fangs.” He huffed.

“If you were just fucking you wouldn't have brought him home.”

“Wow again right here-”

“Be grateful I didn't eat you too Chris.” Leech snapped.

“What a surprise, the vampire is getting moody. This is why Im fucking a human way less bitchy.” Freddy rolled his eyes and cleaned his fingernails with his claws.

Leech hissed low in her throat as her upper lip twitched over her fangs in warning. Chris quivered a bit in fear remembering the last time he heard such noises. Her mere presence alone made him even more uneasy in this house now it sounded like she was about to snap again.

“I-I oh god how did I end up here what have I done.…” the human ran his fingers through his hair and Freddy rolled his eyes. Great another damn break down.

“All right babe deep breath daddy Freddys here shhh.”

Leech looked up from the dusty decrepit tv “Wellp I’m leaving.”

“Oh yeah like I don't have to endure this all the time from you!”

“Daddy really?”

“You call the clown Snuggle Muffin!”

“Yeah when were alone. By the way Chris, Fred can regrow his fingers. Do me a favor since you owe me one and put him in his place.”

“Sheesh you're grumpy Fangs” Freddy rolled his eyes and placed his gloved hand around the human that Leech was pretty sure experiencing some form of Stockholm syndrome.

“All my friends are dead.”

“Did we traumatize him?” she asked the dream demon.

“I dunno probably. Rides a dick like a slut though!”

“Well I'm glad someones having a Merry Christmas.”

“Hey fangs do me a favor and open the damn red box already I'm getting real tired of your moping. Put up with that enough from Drac.”

“What?”

“Look behind you moron.”

Leech glanced behind her and saw a perfectly wrapped gift sitting in the center of the archway a balloon tied to it sitting unnaturally still in the dim light of the house.

“That motherfucker!” the vampire swore as she stood to pick up the package. It was impossibly light in her hands and there was a little tag hanging off the end. The nosferatu gently opened it and her scowl shifted into a warm smile

Me first Peachy.

It read in poor crimson handwriting with a smiling heart shaped balloon in the corner. The nosferatu’s un-beating heart was practically singing as she tore off the wrapping. She didn't even expect Pennywise to participate and yet he got her a gift! Leech lifted the lid and was flung backwards as something enormous sprung from the present like a giant demonic jack in the box. IT cackled with glee through its horrible rows of sharp teeth as it shot up almost too big to fit in the room. Leech scampered back in surprise and shock claws tearing into the couch as she screamed in reflex to being caught completely off guard.

“I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU” she yelled at the cackling clown that was swaying back and forth holding his sides. Behind her Freddy snorted joining in on the laughter and chris had fainted from shock. “That was fuckin amazing Jingles!” the dream demon shouted to the clown who couldn't stop his cackling.

“YOUR KIDS ARE GOING TO GROW UP FATHERLESS CAUSE I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR RUFFLED ASS ALL THE WAY BACK TO WHATEVER HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT OF YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF- whats this?” Leech began to scream at him but stopped when a huge box was presented to her, the fang filled grin on her clown growing even wider.

“Take iT!” the beast hissed.

“I don’t trust you anymore” Leech narrowed her eyes at him.

“Take iiiitttt!!!”

“If anything jumps out at me or bites me or screams at me I am not letting you have the second half of your present.”

“Mouth or ass Fangs?!” came a shout from the couch.

“FREDDY I SWEAR TO GOD! ……………….mouth….”

“Heh nice.”

Penny’s smile closed in realization “Wait ass is an option now?”

“We’re not going there.” Leech sighed not wanting to discuss THAT again with him. She opened the large case then quickly shut it. “PEN! This is a fucking guitar case!”

“Oh shit looks like Jingles is getting both tonight eh sweet lips?!” Freddy elbowed the dazed and traumatized human who was currently questioning every choice he had made in the last twenty four hours.

“I only had to threaten one person to get your gift” Penny smirked, finally climbing out of the small red box and shrinking back to what could be considered normal size. He shook himself a bit and begun to fix his hair “Your servant scares easy, I almost made a meal of him.” he snickered while twirling the top of his baby curl into place. “Well go on then play us a tune Peachy.” he grinned a little too satisfied with himself for Leech not to be suspicious.

Leech took the instrument out of its case and inspected it carefully. She certainly wasn't amazing at guitar but after traveling with a band for so long she picked up the ability to play a few songs. Her fingers ran up along the neck and brushed a small chain she quickly pulled her hand back in fear that it was another trick from the clown. Which it was judging from the excited grin on Penny’s face as his mate’s fingers traced solid gold chain.

Leech glanced up and glared at him. “What the fuck is this? Where the hell did you get this Pen?”

Pennywise placed his finger on her cool lips stopping the confused swearing from pouring from her mouth. The clown gave her a cheesy wink and with his other hand reached into his ruff. He gave a quick tug and plucked out an ancient tarnished silver bell which he presented to her in his palm not saying a word. Penny’s great blue eyes seared into hers in anticipation as Leech reached to take it but pulled her hand back with a hiss when the silver singed her skin. Pennywise seemed caught off guard then came to a realization swiping the gold chain from his mates hands. His large fingers closed around both objects and squeezed when he opened them the bell shined gold like his eyes before the kill. Pennywise fastened the bell to the necklace and held it up again this time with his signature goofy smile in place. “Pen seriously what is this?” Leech asked quietly now as she took the necklace and slipped it on.

“For you.” the clown grinned wider. “It’s part of me!”

“Just get married already!” Freddy yelled from the couch turning up the volume of the old tv.

“You motherfucker you know how I feel about sappy shit.” the nosferatu grinned twirling the bell in her fingers “Well? Go on get over here.” she smirked glancing up at him. Penny snaked his arms around his mate and held her against him “I hate you” the vampire mumbled into his costume rubbing her nose into his chest. “I hate you too.” Pennywise replied warmly he pulled her back and leaned in but Leech stopped his lips from pressing into hers.

“Hold that thought! I need to finally give you yours!”

“This is disgusting, were trying to watch a movie here!”

“Oh yeah says the guy who just moments ago was getting sucked off on my couch!” The vampire flipped Freddy’s hat off his head as she passed by him.

“At least we weren't doing any romcom crap!” He called after her

“You could always get out of my house.” the clown grumbled

“Nah I keep my bong here! Plus your sofa’s more comfortable than that victorian era piece of junk Drac has.”

“You people and your antique furniture. Ikea exists you know!” Chris grumbled.

“I’m cultivating eeriness human, also there better not be any stains Krueger.” Penny snarled.

“Like you'd be able to tell Jingles, this thing could probably get someone pregnant just by sitting on it…..wait is that what happened to you Fangs?”

Leech rolled her eyes at him while shoving her gift into Penny’s arms. “Freddy for once in your life just shut up.”

the clown clicked and rumbled tearing open the package with claws and teeth. then held the large frame out in front of him. “the derry circus!” he said excitedly and he viewed the poster. “featuring me!” he giggled with pride at the picture of his likeness grinning back at him and beckoning for someone to step closer.

“Had it custom done! Its not as amazing as what you gave me but I hope you like it.” Leech leaned back against the edge of the sofa behind her overly pleased with herself. Pennywise set the frame down and stalked forward pinning his mate against the couch with his hips long limbs wrapping around her. “You’ve given me plenty.” He grinned placing his large hand on her abdomen. “I didn't plan on that part.” the vampire smirked thumbing his ruffles in her fingers. “Comere asshole.” Leech hissed and pulled his ruffles. The clown leaned down and kissed her dipping her back so she could wrap her legs around him as he explored her mouth.

“Look I'm not complaining about the sex but this asshole’s about to swoop in and ruin Cindy Lou Hoo’s day and you two tend to get way too loud.”

Pennywise bit down on his mate’s lip then sunk his teeth into her neck bucking his hips sharply against her making Leech moan. “Ahhh! Penny!!” she shouted enthusiastically.

“I’m warning you Jingles if I miss the damn song I'm gonna be pissed!”

Penny clamped down harder and growled, loudly smacking Leech’s ass through her thin pajama shorts. The vampire hissed in response spurring her mate on to make deep lust filled vocalizations into her skin.

“FINE FUCK YOU THEN! Come on Chris if we hurry we can at least catch the ending.” the dream demon grumbled and yanked the human up who was eager to leave. A moment after their departure the vampires eyes flew open.

“Are they gone?” Leech panted claws running through her clowns hair. Penny grunted and retracted his fangs from her flesh. “Fuckin finally, the couch is ours!” she shouted hopping over the side. “I’m telling ya if I had to sit through The Grinch one more time this week I’d probably go postal.” Pennywise grumbled in agreement and stretched his back shaking himself out his after his spine made a series of loud pops and cracks. “That sounded terrible.” Leech commented thumbing through her movie collection.

“You kept me waiting in that box forever.”

“Aaawww does Pennywhine need a back rub?”

The impossibly tall monster leaned over the edge of the couch to glare at her. Leech grinned up at him and tapped him on the nose with a dvd sticking her tongue out to mock him. Penny snarled and lunged over the edge of the couch at her the two aggressively wrestling trying to pin the other against the sofa. Pennywise was on his way to victory as per-usual, when he saw his own eye color flash through Leech’s glossy blues. Suddenly his back was against the old couch claws pinned against the top his eyes narrowed at his captor.

“Using my offspring against me is cheating!” he snarled at her.

“Cheating? I call it leveling the playing field!” Leech scoffed. She planted an obnoxiously rough kiss on his lips and released him flopping over to the side and crossing her legs over the eldritch’s. The vampire picked up her white and black guitar and thumbed out a cheesy romantic christmas tune, softly singing aloud. Pennywise watched her for a moment taking note of the soft glow peeking out from under her shirt almost flashing to the rhythm of the music. She had a belly full of future dancing clowns. He smiled to himself, leaning back and shutting his eyes. In this moment things were absolutely perfect.

All until there was a honk and a banging at his front door.

--------------------------

Awww Pen’s so nice when he wants to be. 

[mind0fanintellect]

Life taking it’s course

I’ve had some very wild experiences up to this day. Not sure if it’s necessarily a good or a bad thing .. just know I wouldn’t want to put myself in a situation like that again. So let me explain the craziness of this; you don’t ever really know how to get out of a bad situation till you really get in between a bad situation and have to figure out how to handle it the best way possible. But even then, there’s never really a good way or bad way to handle it. I got in between a situationship involving a group of “friends”. Did not know at all what the situation was till I started to get closer to the chick that had feelings for this guy (Charles). What happened was I met a group of phillipinos that recently became a group of friends. Initially, I was introudced to the group by this chick (Kay) because one of the filipinos (Jessie) wanted to date me or I guess talk to me. Idk. He was actually cool. He wanted to get to know me, so he invited me around the end of August to a camping trip. I wasn’t going to go but the guy was nice and cool, I also never had the experience to go on a camping trip, so I decided to go. Kay was going to go but she quarantined since one of her friends caught COVID. So it ended up being me & Jessie together at the camp and met their group of Filipino friends. That’s where I remember actually meeting Charles too. Everyone was cool and it was a good time but something was just not sitting right with Jessie and I felt like he was my supervisor the whole time. I hated that shit. He was also not being himself the whole time. Eventually, I just wanted to go home. But, I made the best out of it. We went on a few adventures there-- rode bikes from C and O Canal up to Great Falls. That’s when Charles decided to talk to me a little bit and kept it cordial. I noticed he had a good sense of humor too and liked to have fun. He was also a lot better looking to me than Jessie. Anyways, that’s how the whole thing began and later on figured out I was more interested in getting to know Charles. So.. I continued to hang out with them. After the camping trip, Kay invited me to her housewarming party. Let me tell you a little about how I got to know Kay. I went to this bar out in southern Maryland with Monica the day after Jonathan put me in a mental collapse. We went to go fish and ended up going to this nice Tiki Bar. We were drinking a bit and Kay came up to me saying that one of her friends wanted to talk to me and if I wanted to go sit with them at their table. Thought it was unusual that someone approached me that way and went for it. I also thought she was cool and outgoing so I decided to join in and got each others snapchats. High school all over again?! Anyways, once she invited me to the housewarming she let me stay over there and we all got super drunk. Charles was there and we all just started to hang out more often. It probably wasn’t till the second night when we all got together for a bonfire and got drunk again. The next morning, I think that was the time that she started to talk to me about her life and told me that her and Charles were close friends and they slept together. Yeah.. thats when I was like FUCKKKK. She freakin likes him and the more I started to see that she was trying to get him. But later that night we also exchanged numbers and he asked me to go out with him. Yoooo after this I legit got into an emotional downward spiral. I had to try and control myself and my feelings and absorb all the things I was hearing about him (e.g. Jessie saying he was a player and Kay just always wanting to get him drunk to have sex with him). My inner Latina had to really compose myself and my emotions were everywhere. So we had to date undercover for a while and learn how to work through this with each other so we wouldn’t hurt feelings.. MIND YOU Jessie is friends with Charles and the guy loved me. This was hard as shit to get through but he left to Hawaii in November. I went to go hang out with the group again around that time where Jessie let me stay over since Kay I think already had a feeling something was going on between Charles and I. So she wasn’t fucking with me too hard around this time so I went to stay over Jessie’s in Charles room. Jessie and I were cool but I guess he still had feelings for me? Ugh just really sucks how everything happened. But at the end of the day I went through this because I wanted to be with Charles. He also stuck through it with me and tried to work this out as much as we could together. I love the guy. 

The end result.. I’m no longer friends with the group but he is. Don’t think it will be a cool friendship like it was before but I guess you gain some and lose some sometimes in life. Sometimes I really think if this was really worth all of that. I don’t want to be blinded by love and I try to think logically about things. I think thats the interesting part about life is that you’re really not sure how things are going to turn out unless you go through it. It showed a lot in our part and proved a lot to one another. Even tested the level of honesty that came along this situation. He says a lot of things he has planned for us.. wants to be together and get married. It’s been only about four months so we will see what ends up happening. Don’t want to expect much of this because of the uncertainty of a long distance.. especially this fast. Love will always find it’s way back though.

Ariana <3

[thefandomships-imagines]

Ship

hi. ❤️ could i get a avengers, x men and suicide squad ship? 5'9, inverted triangle body shape, brown hair with bangs, heterochromia ( blue eyes, left one’s mixed with hazel ), baby face, dimples. slytherin. isfj. bi-curious. at first, i’m shy, quiet and reserved. usually playful, dirty minded and fun around friends. a perfectionist, control freak, slight clean freak. stubborn, jealous, emotional, punctual, impulsive, selfish, socially awkward. if i’m annoyed or impatient, i can say something mean or witty which later on i may regret. i put on a mask of confidence, but i’m really not due to my body insecurities and the small gap between my front teeth. when i’m hurt, i turn petty and may complain. when i’m nervous, i talk a lot. hate crying in front of people. don’t like to be forced into stuff or being compared to somebody. i don’t like to ask people for help. i can’t fall asleep without music. dislike romance. i stress over little things, like - make a big deal out of nothing. nervous whenever i do something out of my comfort zone. hopefully, one day i’ll find my true calling, but right now i’m thinking about becoming an actress. motherly towards kids. fashion is my passion, as well as reading and role playing on tumblr. after finishing high school, i want to travel the world. overprotective over my mom and lil’ sis, knowing my mom is a single parent. daddy issues. bad at cooking. spontaneous road trips with loud music on is life. prefers tea over coffee. dress to impress. thank you so much!

Note: Gifs or characters are not mine! I just get them off of tumblr or google, if you see one that’s yours and isnt credited, please contact me and i’ll fix that :)

Hello lovely! 

Avengers:

I ship you with Bruce Banner!

You strike me as a person that spends a lot of time in their ‘shell’, and isn’t very comfortably with others very quickly due to your reserved nature and said ‘ mask’ you tend to wear in front of people you don’t know very well.  It takes some time in order to get comfortable with others and that’s okay, and if there’s someone that understands that it’s Bruce, the only one who could see trough the confident banter next to Wanda Maximoff. It’s one of the things that made him interested in you from the moment he met you.  He is not the most extraverted person himself, not really going with playful conversation like the rest of the group tries to do.  It wasn’t until you two had both stayed behin while the rest went out into town that you realised that you had more in common than you thought. You got into conversation and somehow he immediately felt comfortable around you and started opening up to you bit by bit. This encouraged you to, unawarely, do the same. He kind of dragged you out of your shell and you started hanging out together more and more, which your friend Wanda did not take long to notice.  How you got together: Stupidly, Bruce had confided in his friend Tony about talking to you and about how comfortable you made him feel. Big mistake. Because if Tony smells drama, a way to draw his friend out of his comfort zone or both, he loooves to exploit it. One of the things bruce told him was that he did not understand how insecure you felt sometimes. When Tony asked why, the answer was that he found you absolutely breathtaking. You were beautiful, unique and you made him feel accepted and made him laugh. You’re honest, protective and smart. In short : he sounded like a lovesick puppy.  And since Tony knew Wanda was your friend, he went to her. Turned out she shipped it too and together, the unusual duo concocted a plan…… Bruce would NEVER hurt you, or make you feel small in a bad way. He respects you immensly and understands about 9/10 of the time. You’re the only one allowed completely into his mind, and hopes you trust him excactly the same. You’re also the only one allowed to tease him. Ever. 

X-men:

I ship you with Havoc!

Alex seems like a real asshole at first, and he probably was when he was younger. Tough from the moment that Charles and Erik went to fetch him out of jail, he changed completely. When you joined the group, it took time to get used to him . A LOT of time. Actually, he used to think of you as a little rude, and had trouble reading you so he didn’t usually make contact with you. This was the biggest problem in the beginning, not being able to get a read off each other causes a lot of fights and snarky comments, making the rest of the group unhappy with you seeming like enemies more than comrades. He began to feel more like understanding what you were about after spotting you in your free time. The way you were with your little sister, the bond you had reminded him of his own little brother. He saw how protective you were over her, for example when you got in trouble with a couple of jerks and you got them to fuck off. It made him want to be a better person for his own family.

When you got back, he acted completely differently than how he had seen you with your family. Your wall was back up and that was something he did understand. After all, he was the one that tore everything apart, landed in jail, all because he acted differenly, to not be vulnerable. He kept notincing more layers of yours after that. The way you spoke so indifferently and playfully to Raven and Banshee, wheres you were much more considerate of ‘Bozo’ aka Hank. The way ‘the claws’ came out when you were pissed, and the way you sat by yourself, buried in a book pretending to read while half-sulking later.  He started admiring you, though you never picked up on that and just kept doing so until Hank, while annoyed wih Alex,  uncharacteristically told him ‘to stop being a little bitch and do something other than swooning from afar, if he’s so tough’. So thats what he did. At first you really didnt understand why the hell he was interested in you and you actually thought it was a joke. Luckily that didn’t last very long. Alex is now the most attentive and protective guy you could wish for, though you’d never even thought of him being an option. 

Suicide Squad:

I ship you with Rick Flag! 

Rick, after all that happened was broken, lightly said. He didn’t know what to do with himself after the battle. Sure, he’d go home, shower, eat and sleep, but his visions of the world and of right and wrong were twisted up. Almost as if he’d lost his purpose. Good guys had turned out to be bad and a firebreathing-god gangster had sacrificed himself to save the rest, his family he had called it. So he just pretended to have moved on. The baddies went back to jail and he went back to work.

Rick and you hadn’t been on good or bad terms. You just accepted the fact that you co-existed. Sometimes you dares joke with each other. You see, Rick automatically hated criminals and didn’t hate figures associated with the law in a good way. The thing is, you were neither.  Well, you didn’t have a record, though your reputation was…..interesting. Which is why you got in the team, you were granted full immunity for the future. To be honest you would have done it for free, since you kinda do live on this planet and rather not have it detroyed. You weren’t as overpowered as your late friend El Diablo or as crazy as Harley, but damnit if you weren’t a badass.  Knives were your thing, and at your thing, you were the best. Granted, being about 5 times as agile and 3 times as fast as the average human also helped. And all while looking slayin’. Yeah, let’s pass the spandex. So, after the battle you simply returned to your old life as well, occasionally standing by on a A.R.G.U.S. mission, which is, after a couple of months, where you saw Rick again.  When you saw him, you almost flinched. He seemed so lost. Dark bags under his eyes, abviously thinner, paler than ever and he barely opened his mouth. Mr. gruffypants certainly didn’t deserve this.  When Rick saw you after a couple of months, his reaction was more the opposite of yours. He was slowly recovering from all his emotional damage, and now, he felt guilty. Very guilty as he looked at you. He was moving on but he felt wrong looking at another person, and finding that he enjoyed watching the way their outfit hugged their curves. He did not speak to you that night. 

Fastforward three weeks. A group of agents  were chasing an installment of the Triads. Yay, which meant you were called out of your comfy bed again since annoying you was easier that getting Boomerang, who would try to escape….. In the meanwhile, the guilt had been another factor combined in crushing Rick’s mental condition. The chase was going nowehere, well, apart from four killed and two wounded at your side, It was safe to say it was a shitty night.  When your team lost track of said Triads at 3 o’clock in the moring shit hit the fan. You had to call it in to Walker, who was not amused. Ambulances and coroners where called in an you were making sure everyone that needed it got help. You were not that much of a villain. All were accounted for, except your brusque Captain. Damnit.  When you finally did find him, you did not know excacty what to do. He was huddled against the wall of an abandoned building, your silly little superiour.  Slowly, you approached him, sliding against the wall next to him.  You didn’t say anything. Neither did he. 

You awoke to a car honking. Great, you thought. Six in the moring, in an abandoned builing, half asleep with Flags’ head on my lap…. FLAGS’ HEAD ON MY LAP. Shit. He did look cute, relaxed.  After about an hour he started to stir.  ‘I haven’t slept this long since months.’ he smiled.  ‘Great.’ you deadpanned. ‘I’m oficially functional as a plushie.’ 

You might be an odd couple, and you might not have been a ‘good guy’, but you were Captain Rick Flag’s salvation. And now, whichever idiot tries to mess with you  hasn’t just got a knife-wielding superhuman after them, but also a very pissed of Rick Flag.  The rest of the squad loved to tease you guys about it all. And that’s all fun and games until there’s another knife stuck in the wall at A.R.G.U.S. headquarters, which, lightly said, makes Walker, not amused.

Hope ya liked them all :3

WELL THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A RIDE. 1560 WORDS HELP.  Extra elaborate because IM OFICCIALLY BACK *cheers*. Let’s just hope i wont have any forced hiatusus anytime soon again (@.@) Also, thanks for sending me a message and being so sweet! 

I might be a lil rusty so if you find any silly errors made by me please send in something so le me can fix it :D

[eternaleve]

You know how I said that the last two episodes made 1532 seemed like eighteen months long? Well, this episode just… you’ll see, it’s rather special in it’s own way.

Checkmate

Henry destroys all ties with authority and the past. After many failed attempts to have his marriage to Catherine annulled by the Catholic Church, Henry runs out of patience and marries a pregnant Anne Boleyn in secret. He appoints the young Lutheran Thomas Cranmer to succeed the deceased William Warham as Archbishop of Canterbury and strips Queen Catherine of her title and status, along with Princess Mary; they are hence to be known as the Princess Dowager of Wales and the Lady Mary, respectively. The Act of Restrain of Appeals is presented to Parliament by Cromwell and passes. As Sir Thomas More has resigned as Chancellor, Henry hands the position to the pro-Lutheran Thomas Cromwell. Anne Boleyn is crowned Queen of England to a small and uneager crowd and escapes an assassination attempt. Pope Paul III threatens to excommunicate the king and the church of England from the Roman Catholic Church if Henry does not return to Catherine, but Henry tears the papal edict in half. Henry is also disappointed when Anne Boleyn gives birth to a daughter, Elizabeth, instead of his desired son, and soon resumes his philandering with ladies of the court despite assuring Anne they will still have a son.

A Secret Marriage, A Secret Pregnancy, A Coronation – Oh My!

After one instance of the sex, Anne is instantly pregnant. And not just even a little pregnant, because she’s already suffering immense intense pregnancy cravings for apples. This is based on a real life anecdote, but I have to question the timeline here.

Anne and Henry went to France in September 1532 (another reason why they couldn’t have conceived Elizabeth there, unless Anne managed to be pregnant for twelve months. I screwed up the times last week, so my bad there. It’s been a while since I last looked it all up). They would not be married for the first time until November 14 1532. I know some women start to have cravings at two to three weeks, but for Anne to be ‘Yup, definitely pregnant, I’m so full of baby right now’, she has to be at least past a month or two. And there just isn’t the time to fit into what happened and when.

And yes, it’s still 1532! The year that never, ever ends!

Realising Anne’s condition (even though pregnancies were usually recognised from when the baby ‘quickened’ i.e. starting to move around three months and there’s no way Anne can be three months pregnant) Henry orders Cranmer to look into his marriage…

… but gets married in secret anyway.

There’s no need to rush Henry! This baby won’t be born for another ten months.

Anyway, after a second official marriage in January, and a little political wrangling, Anne can now be crowned queen. She’s the only queen consort in British history to receive a coronation separate from her royal spouse, and the only one to be crowned with St. Edward’s Crown. There’s some BS nonsense at her parade, but we’ll go into that later.

It’s also really off because of the warped timeline the show has decided to follow. It’s now June, 1533, and because Anne fell pregnant in September, she should be giving birth. Like, literally on that carriage, she should be deep in labour. But she’s managing to keep it in for another three months.

Henry places a crown on Anne’s head, and she’s anointed and invested as queen. I say ‘a crown’ because that tiny little pathetic coronet is not St Edward’s Crown.

It was remade in the seventeenth century, but the royal monogram is based on St Edward’s Crown.

This is Henry’s, so this is probably what the crown looked at during Henry’s time. It is not a single pathetic coronet that barely shows up. How do you ruin making an impressive and royal crown?

Henry gets aggressive and nasty with Anne at the coronation feast, because foreshadowing.

This aggressive side of Henry continues into the longest pregnancy ever experienced by any woman ever. When sleeping at night – and FYI, they shouldn’t share a bed. Royal couples had separate apartments in palaces, and completely separate bedrooms. Henry and his wives would not share a bed like a couple might do now – Anne is too tired and stressed out by the longest pregnancy in the world to have sex with Henry. He’s disgusted and angered by her rejection.

Because it’s only the most sexy and romantic of men who try to force their wives into having sex with them! (Even though Henry wouldn’t try anything like that for fear of damaging the child or causing a miscarriage)

Anne finally goes into labour, and luckily for her, it’s incredibly easy. She pushes exactly once and the baby just flies out. Unfortunately, it’s not a son. It’s a girl, and Henry is taken aback. But sons will surely follow, for they are both young and fertile.

Lol no, Henry is now sleeping with anyone else because how dare his wife have a child and it’s not what he wanted.

Do you play… chess?

Wait, where are you going to put that chess piece? Cause she doesn’t look very happy about it…

… oh. Oh. Hope you don’t plan on playing with it again.

The London Knoll

The Imperial assassin is revealed to be none other than William Brereton. Which makes pretty much no sense.

Not only was he almost fifty by this point, but he’s a longstanding member of Henry’s inner circle, serving as a groom of the privy chamber. He was a wealthy and respected member of court, and definitely not a twenty something devoted Catholic who wanted to kill Anne Boleyn. This assassination nonsense is exactly that – nonsense. Events are dramatic enough as it is without having an assassin running about.

After attempting to kill Anne, Brereton travels to Rome to beg forgiveness from the Pope. Instead, the Pope enlists him as a Jesuit and sends him back to kill Anne again.

The Jesuits aren’t formed until 1540. Even if you needed to add to this ridiculous mess, you didn’t need to add in Jesuits. And then the producers decide to recreate the assassination of JFK for no apparent reason.

Don’t tell me that’s not based on the death of JFK, because it looks so much like it. I find that a little cheap and distasteful, to co-opt a real life trauma to improve the shabbiness of your own writing. And I don’t think sixteenth century guns were accurate enough to carry out this sort of operation. Luckily, some random mook dies instead and is shoved under a choir stand to die alone and unnoticed.

He’s almost caught out by the fact he didn’t think to wipe off all the incredibly obvious and super noticeable gunpowder from his hands, but William Brereton escapes to assassinate another day!

Brandon VS The Boleyns

The tension between Charles Brandon and Thomas Boleyn gets worse because their servants get into a stupid fight and kill each other. After all, Charles Brandon needed an actual, legitimate reason to hate the Boleyns other than ‘the writers needed something for him to do this season’.

What Are You Up To, Thomas Cranmer?

Besides all this, there’s the question of the English Church and Henry’s first marriage. To force his second marriage through, he decides to make Thomas Cranmer his Archbishop of Canterbury, the most senior religious position in England.

He transported his wife from Germany in a box. It is sort-of a true story. Cranmer was said to have hidden his wife from the King in a box, not taken her across half a continent, but it’s only a ‘it is said’ kind of truth. There’s no evidence that it actually happened.

The supporters of Katherine are not happy with this because Cranmer is a ‘Lutheran’. That’s simply not true. Cranmer was more Calvinist than Lutheran, because Lutheran is not a catch all for ‘not being a Catholic’.

Meanwhile, Cromwell has pushed through parliament The Act in the Restraint of Appeals which basically means that it’s illegal to apply to foreign courts of justice and to appeal outside of England as it’s an empire. Cromwell, it would seem, is completely in charge of government and Henry doesn’t have any say over anything as he’s a big doofus with no ideas of his own.

Cranmer, with little to no fuss, announces that Henry and Katherine’s marriage is not valid and that Anne and Henry’s marriage is good and legal. The Pope declares Henry excommunicated.

What About Katherine and Mary?

Katherine is told of this change. She will now be the Dowager Princess of Wales, and Henry will support her no longer. She proclaims herself to always be Queen of England.

And then there’s the Princess Mary. She’s now all grown up, but no longer a Princess. She is to be the Lady Mary, and royal heir no longer. She was told this in real life by the Duke of Norfolk, but he’s mysteriously vanished from the show.

Our New Gay Subplot

Mark Smeaton, in a public place, very loudly comes onto George Boleyn. I guess he’s going to be executed for sodomy in the next episode because it’s very illegal at this point. I highly doubt queer people were loudly shouting about their sexuality in a public arena because, you know, death is bad.

Come on, Vogue, Let Your Body Move to the Music

Those clothes are straight up pure Elizabethan. There is nothing of the 1530s about them. And take that purple off, Smeaton. You’re a common servant, and purple is for the royal family alone.

You ready for your villain song, Henry? Because that collar is straight from Maleficent. That collar is far too high for a man like Henry to wear.

Mary, that hood is not right. That is a very central Germanic hood and would never be found at the English court (at least, until Anna of Cleeves arrives).

This is another from the Katherine Willoughy ‘Lamps of Tudor England’ series, and it’s just as hideous as the first one.

Nice pregnancy sack. Anne, you’d be wearing exactly the same dress as you’d always wear, but with the ties and stomacher loosened to allow room for the bump. Tudor England didn’t have maternity sacks for women.

That is Jacobean hat right there. Take it off and burn it.

And that’s it for this week. Come back next time for more of 1532 (probably), bad dresses, and terrible writing decisions.

  Unpicking the Tudors; S2 EP3 You know how I said that the last two episodes made 1532 seemed like eighteen months long?

[alexandralyman]

Hi alex! I dont know if you take prompts and if you dont thats ok. If you do can you write a scene in your bth verse where emma tells killian about her ability to spot lies please? Thank you and dont worry if you dont have time to write it i understand.

So, this is one of those things where it’s clear that at some point in Beyond the Horizon, Killian finds out about Emma’s superpower, but I never wrote the actual scene where she tells him. Then I got carried away and wrote 4,000 words once I started thinking about how it would have come out. Unlike the other BtH extras, this isn’t a single scene, this is some missing bits and pieces that take place over several chapters of the main fic.

Also on ff.net here as part of my Interlude at Sea series.

(and yes, there’s smut)

                                                   …..

Something was nagging at him.

It was a faint but insistent tug at the back of his mind, a lurking shadow in the corner of his eye.

“Women on ships are bad luck.”

Killian Jones was superstitious - all sailors were, to some extent. He wore charms around his neck to guard against the cold grasp of Davy Jones (no relation) and never dared to challenge the wind by absent-mindedly whistling on deck. He steered well clear of the flocks of albatrosses soaring about overhead in search of dinner and avoided the sleek schools of mermaids below - treacherous, untrustworthy creatures they were, but he’d never held much stock in the old belief that a woman aboard a ship was bad luck. He certainly didn’t think that his golden-haired treasure had brought him any ill since he’d stolen her away for his own, the single storm (that they’d forded with no casualties and no cost save a lost day or two on repairs) aside, he’d had nothing but astonishingly good luck with Princess Emma by his side.

In his arms.

In his bed.

But still, there was something about her that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Some mysterious quality about her that had nothing to do with her more obvious, feminine charms, like the tilt of her lips that practically begged for his kisses or the curve of her waist that seemed to have been made for his hands to circle and pull her close, lovely and dreadfully distracting whenever he tried and failed to get to the bottom of exactly what was bothering him.

So he watched,

And waited.

He’d spent days tracking ships, keeping them in view through his spyglass as he bided his time until just the right opportunity arose to strike. Killian knew the value of patience, and it was hardly a hardship when they were tangled together in the sheets at night with the sweat of their lovemaking cooling on their skin and her fingers playing with the charms around his neck until she fell asleep with her nose pressed to his neck and a pale curtain of gold hiding her face like a swan with its head tucked under its wing. This thing between them was so new and fragile and he scarcely dared to breathe at times for fear of it slipping away and leaving him alone and empty once more, so he didn’t pry and he didn’t push his luck any farther than he already had, quieting the persistent little voice in his head that whispered old tales of ill fortune and following her easily into slumber.

                                                      ….

The princess was a shrewd negotiator. Killian had seen it first hand the day they met, when she’d held him and his entire crew at bay with nothing but sheer cunning until he’d conceded and agreed to her terms. Privately, he’d thought he got the better part of that bargain in the end, but he was a greedy man (pirate, it came with the territory) and it was rare for him to give any quarter or make the smallest concession. She’d also bested him at cards, much to his shock, calling every last bluff with unerring accuracy and taking his coin with a smile that disarmed him as easily as if she’d also taken his sword. He heard the murmurs from the men around the gaming table when the final hand was shown and the queen of diamonds trumped the eight of hearts, “Beginner’s luck.”

That word again, luck. The deck hadn’t been stacked and he was certain there were no aces hidden up her sleeves, but he couldn’t figure out exactly how he’d lost the upper hand in that particular encounter, not when he’d been playing cards since he was a lad of thirteen against the saltiest of old sea dogs who knew every trick and seemed to invent new ways to cheat during each game, but beginner’s luck was as good an explanation as any.

Perhaps.

Or perhaps not.

While the Jolly sat in port and he visited the local suppliers to procure what was needed for the long voyage ahead to the uncharted isles in the west, Emma accompanied him to the warehouses that lined the docks, ringed hand resting delicately on his sleeve and finely gowned as befitted her new status as his wife. The merchants took one look at her pretty face and fluttering eyelashes and practically fell over themselves to both flatter her and fleece him. Killian could practically see the wheels turning in their greedy little minds, if the captain of the Jolly Roger could afford such a lovely and useless ornament as a richly-dressed wife then surely he could also afford to pay grossly inflated prices for basic staples like salt beef and flour. He’d made the same mistake of underestimating her once, but now he watched Emma’s eyes narrow and her lips purse at each oh so magnanimous offer from the oily men who sat across from them and swore up and down with insincere smiles that the ridiculous sums scribbled on bits of scrap parchment were the best they could do. Curiosity seized him and he held back, pretended to mull the prices over while she lulled the merchants with her charm and drew them in with her smile, a beautiful siren singing them right to their doom.

They never saw the rocks coming until it was too late.

Prices were slashed to the bone over their blustering protests, Emma seemed to know the precise moment she’d bargained them down to the absolute lowest they’d accept, right to the penny. When the wagons rumbled down the docks to the ship laden with goods even the normally unflappable quartermaster was impressed, noting the better quality meat and finer ground flour with a slight raise of his brow as he examined the barrels and sacks, all for less coin than usual that left higher profits all around. Profit that Killian partially spent on buying her a pair of silk stockings, as delicate as cobwebs and as light as air, and that he took great pleasure in peeling back down her legs when she first tried them on, hearing the hitch in her breath and seeing the heave of her bosom as he propped a bare ankle on his shoulder and pressed his face into the heart of the sea. With the briny taste of her thick on his tongue and the rolling waves of her hips carrying him off into the storm of unbridled lust where his world shrank down to nought but the join of his body to hers and jewel-bright eyes that looked into his and pierced him down to the depths of his very soul, he forgot about everything else for a while. Word quickly spread through the taverns that he had taken a wife and that the winds had clearly blown in his favour, none of the men dared to protest their captain’s new orders and when they finally departed port a fortnight later she was even more firmly enconsed on board, undisputed mistress of all who called him master.

                                                    ….

It was the encounter with the so-called Captain Charles Blount and his pathetic excuse for a ship that really gave Killian pause. With the heat of battle still firing his blood and flush with his victory he’d almost missed it, but after the interrogation was over and Blount had spilled his guts (figuratively, not literally, although Killian would not wager on the disgraced captain surviving the night once his crew was released from their confinement) he’d recalled Emma’s strange turns of phrase.

“You know who he is, you say you don’t but you’re lying….probably because that’s not even his real name. That was a lie too.”

“Women don’t belong on ships. Bad luck.”

His attention was drawn back as Blount – or whatever the hell his real name was – spat a glob of bloody phlegm onto the floor of the stifling cabin and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Bleeding gums, Killian noted absently, a sure sign of scurvy.

“Bad luck for you, mate, but not for me. She’s brought me nothing but good fortune.”

He smiled, showing his own healthy white teeth.

“A woman’s only good for lying on her back,” Blount mumbled, his rheumy eyes fogged over with both drink and defeat, “But that one, she’s more than just a damp quim to swive, she’s a bloody witch, isn’t she? Does she call the winds to your favour and turn the tides for you before she parts her legs, Captain Jones? But women are feckless, disloyal cunts and you can’t trust a witch, best to toss her overboard in the night before she turns on you.”

Blount said no more after that, his impertinent mouth left even more broken and bloody once Killian had let loose the furious pirate in a rage and paid him back for the insult to his lady, but the words burrowed incessantly under his skin as he worried his thumb over the hilt of the blade at his side. She’s a witch, isn’t she? He’d thought it himself, more than once. She could swim like a mermaid and enchant like a siren, and she could see right through him. Every weakness he kept well-hidden from the men, every secret locked carefully away, every piece of him had all been laid neatly at her feet for her perusal and he’d even given her his one bit of magic, his sea diamond, without so much as a second thought. In truth, Emma was more dangerous to him now than an ambitious first mate, the knife in the night he’d never see coming.

Sirens lured sailors to their doom, but when she held him to her breast that night and sang away the nightmare that kept following him across the ocean, the shackles he could never escape as if he had crashed against the rocks and silently slipped down to Davy Jones’s locker, he simply closed his eyes and listened until dawn broke over the Jolly at last and the ghosts that haunted him receded silently into the ether once more. Witch or wife, princess or prisoner, salvation and destruction both in the form of a nineteen year old slip of a woman who held his scarred heart in her small hands. Was it bad luck, or good fortune?

Did it even matter?

                                                      ….

“Lies.”

Emma looked up when he stepped into the cabin and closed the door behind him, locking it with a flick of the latch that echoed loud in the small room.

“You can tell when someone’s lying.”

Her eyes darted away and he could tell that he’d struck home, the pieces all finally clicking into place at last. Haggling over provisions in port, driving harder bargains than the most tight-fisted quartermaster. Teasing out the truth from Blount. The way she’d called every single one of his bluffs as if she knew exactly which cards he was holding…he was a pirate, and he’d fallen in love with a woman impervious to all his tricks.

Somewhere, somehow, Killian swore he could hear Liam laughing at him.

Serves you right, little brother.

Emma peeked up at him from beneath lowered lashes, both demure and coquettish and the contrast never failed to make him want to court her like a gentleman and to ravish her until he forgot his own name between her thighs, but he was well-versed in her tricks and he pulled the other chair back to sit down, sprawling back and giving her an expectant look. The stalemate went on for several long moments until he saw her slump down and concede defeat with a whispered, “Yes. Yes, I can.”

“Princess….”

“I’m sorry.”

She stood up, putting distance between them as she went over to the window and ran a finger along the ledge. It was a familiar action, whenever she got overwhelmed she’d always pull away from him and withdraw into herself. It was a bitter draught to swallow, to know that her first instinct was still to flee. He drummed his own fingers against the table, wondering if he was always destined to lose the ones he loved.

“How long have you been able to…..?” he asked, his head still reeling from the implications.

“For as long as I can remember,” she answered, still staring at the panes of glass instead of meeting his gaze, her face a smudged reflection that he couldn’t read, “It’s hard to describe…I always had this feeling when I thought someone was lying, but I didn’t know it for sure until I was twelve. Some of my mother’s jewellery went missing and a footman was caught in her chambers the next day with a key to the door in his pocket. He swore up and down on his own life that he’d never steal from his queen, but he wouldn’t drink the truth potion to prove it and couldn’t explain how he got the key, so everyone believed he was guilty.”

“Except you, I take it?”

Emma turned just enough for him to see her profile, giving a single nod with downcast eyes, “I don’t know how, but I could hear that he wasn’t lying and I just knew there had to be some other explanation. I even snuck down into the dungeons that night with extra bread and meat from the kitchens for him.”

Killian suppressed a snort at that, thinking of all the food that she not so secretly slipped to Fergus from her own plate. He pretended not to notice, remembering when Liam used to do the same for him under the table in the galley while they hunched protectively over the meagre rations dished out by the one-eyed cook. She had a tender heart, his princess, one that he needed to guard against the many evils in the world that would delight in crushing it.

“It turned out that he was having an affair with a lady-in-waiting. That’s why he wouldn’t drink the potion, he was protecting her because she stole the key for him so they could meet in secret. The dwarves came back from the mines a few days later and they were the ones who had taken the jewellery, sneaking it out of the castle to make a matching tiara for Mother’s birthday.”

The memories flickered over her face like the light from a candle as she recounted the tale of forbidden love and missing gems. Killian felt a shiver run down his spine, she spoke of power that many men he knew would kill to possess. The ability to spot a lie, to see through an opponent across the gaming table in port or during a parlay with a rival captain…it was more valuable than gold.

It was his now.

Good fortune.

He could keep no secret from her, speak no falsehood or hide behind flattery or charm. He couldn’t lie or cheat to get what he wanted…he had to be honest.

Bad luck.

He pulled the flask from a pocket of his coat and took a long swallow. Good or bad, he couldn’t turn this particular tide, and he rolled the silver between his palms, listening to the faint slosh of the rum inside. He also knew men who would slit her throat without a second thought, paranoid and fearful that she’d turn on them one day. Blount’s warning echoed in his ear, “Can’t trust a witch.”

“Well,” he said at last, setting the flask down on the table, “In light of this revelation, it seems that you owe me a forfeit.”

She turned to face him fully, clearly surprised by that, “What?”

“Do you remember the night we played cards? I believe I was quite clear about the stakes, if I won, you’d owe me a forfeit, and you agreed to my terms. But now I know how you were able to call all of my bluffs, you were cheating. That’s very bad form, my love.”

He slowly rose to his feet, peeling his coat off and hanging it up on the peg. Emma’s eyes followed his movements, a faint flush painting her cheeks.

“You were the one who said it wasn’t cheating, it was merely changing the rules of the game.”

The belt was next, unbuckled and set aside with the sword still attached. He wouldn’t need a blade for this, at least, not the one he wore at his side.

“I always knew there was a little pirate in you, Princess. You may have changed the rules, but the wager still stands. If you won, I’d give you a prize. Which I did, I kept my end of the bargain. And if I won-”

“-I’d owe you a kiss,” Emma finished, her blush deepening to a dark rose, “And even though I won, I think I’ve paid you back in spades by now, Captain.”

“Hmm,” he mused, tapping a finger against his lips while he pretended to think it over. Of course they’d kissed dozens of times since that night, perhaps hundreds, he knew exactly how well her mouth fitted to his and it was very well indeed. He’d kissed the beauty mark on her breast more times than he could count and trailed his lips along the curve of her spine, traced the outline of her navel with his tongue and left love bites on the inside of her pale thighs. He might have lost the battle that night at the gaming table, but he’d certainly won the war.

And to the victor goes the spoils.

“Come here.”

He turned his palm and crooked his finger, beckoning her towards him. In the tales it was always the sirens who lured the sailors and not the other way round, but she came to him without hesitation, heedless of the danger that lurked below.

Or maybe…because of it.

“Kiss me.”

An order, a command, a plea breathed against her lips while he stroked his thumb along the curve of her jaw and cupped her cheek, a strand of golden hair wrapped around his finger. Emma tilted her chin up and her hips pressed flush to his, swaying slightly with the rock of the ship underneath them. He’d captured the siren and carried her off, keeping the sweetness of her song for his very own. It thrummed low in his blood like the pull of the tides, forever seeking to make its way home and kiss the welcoming shore in greeting. She kissed him, stealing the breath from his lungs and his heart from his chest and whatever else she wanted, it was hers, all of it. His back hit the ladder and leather met velvet, soft and yielding under his exploring hands. Her own fingers tangled in the chain around his neck, she could strangle him and he’d die with a smile on his lips, but then his head was tugged down again and the last of the spiced rum on his tongue dissolved into nothing but Emma.

She must be a witch, to drown out the taste of his favourite spirit.

His waistcoat hit the floor with a muffled thump from the small knife hidden inside it, another weapon falling by the wayside as they frantically undressed each other while his kiss turned rougher, warning of the storm that awaited her should she venture into the sea of linen sheets that beckoned from across the planks. But every storm had an eye, a moment of calm and when he was fully bare with his cock standing thick and proud and ready to make port in the welcoming harbour between her legs he stilled, brushing his thumb over the swell of her breast in his palm and bending down to press a gentle kiss to the spot where her heart (and his) lay nestled under skin and muscle and bone. So delicate and fragile she was, and a pirate’s life was a merciless one. Kill or be killed, strike or be stricken down, there was no room for sentiment or space for love. A woman could make a man hard and he was, hard and throbbing with lust in his veins and filling his loins with desire. A woman could make a man soft, tamed and complacent, a laughingstock and a fool. Emma was more dangerous than any rival, he’d lied for her, killed for her-

Killian knew in that moment that he would die for her.

She flipped him onto his back and rose above him like a goddess of the sea, born of spray and foam with eyes the colour of the changing tides and skin like pearls, breasts tipped in coral and hair more gold than any doubloon. Her lips found the hollow of his throat and his head tilted back, sinking into the pillow while she traced his scars with more gentleness than he deserved and nipped at the skin along his hip. Emma followed the groove of his groin and lashed at him in a sweet torture that slowly drove him mad with need and want until her mouth closed around him at last in the most intimate of ways. A deep groan rumbled from his chest and his hand fisted in the sheets while he fought madly for control that quickly slipped away like sand through his fingers. Killian wondered dimly if this was what it felt like to drown, lungs fit to burst and heart racing as he could do nothing but give into the pleasure that pulled him deeper and deeper until the blood pounded in his ears and he was a gasping, quivering mess. She could ask for anything and he’d give it to her gladly, his princess, his lady, his lover, his. Satisfaction was so close, he could feel it tug sharply as his balls and belly drew tight and he was on the verge of giving in and letting her draw him under…but he didn’t want it to be over so soon.

“Not yet,” he muttered, rolling Emma onto her back and pinning her wrists above her head. The pirate within him relished the sight of her lips, pink and swollen and twin to what else was pink and swollen lower down.

“Kiss me.”

The point where sea met sky was called the horizon. It was always there, and yet it was forever beyond a sailor’s reach. He anchored himself in the plant of his knees on the bed and she met him in the tilt of her hips, lifting to allow him safe passage. Sea-green eyes met his, sky blue, and he was swept away on the tide that was Emma. Her thighs cradled him and her kiss set him aflame, warming places he hadn’t even realized were cold. Sweat trickled between his shoulder blades and pooled at the small of his back, slick under her hands that wore his ring while the rest of her was gloriously nude, his siren of the rocks.

“I love you.”

Killian isn’t dashed to pieces, but he falls apart in her arms anyway.

                                                 …..

Emma scratched a nail through the hair on his chest, her head on his shoulder and her leg thrown over his. Night had fallen as the hours had passed, shadows dancing over their skin like the moonlight on the water in reverse.

“Are you angry? That I didn’t tell you sooner?”

Her voice was muffled by the press of her face to his neck and he sighed, reaching to catch her fingers in his own.

“I don’t begrudge you your secrets, but I do wish I’d have known that a bit earlier. I’d thought…hoped, that you trusted me.”

It was odd, how loud and deafening complete silence could be.

“Of course I trust you!”

Emma pulled back, breath escaping in an exasperated huff, “Killian, no one else has ever believed me about that except you, they think I just guessed or, I don’t know, got lucky.”

The words ran through his mind, old superstition fed to him alongside hardtack and grog, “A woman on a ship is bad luck.” But then he was struck by what she’d just said, the confession wrenched loose like a dagger in the dark.

I trust you.

No one else.

Whatever else she was going to say was lost in the press of his lips to hers, another stolen kiss while she stiffened briefly in surprise and then went pliant and relaxed beneath him. He kissed a path to her ear, slipping a hand down to tease out more secrets with the press of his thumb just below the damp curls and feeling her shiver. His siren sang only for him.

“The next time we play cards, Princess, you’ll be the ace up my sleeve.”

Good fortune or bad, Killian Jones made his own luck.