#ALSO JUST OPENED THE FREEZER TO SEE WE GOT MORE CHICKEN NUGGETS. MY LIFE IS SAAAVED

[apologeticaugur]

this month's pet on my self care app is a baby cow :D!!

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Seasoned Until Perfection

b.katsuki / reader

genre: third year UA students, established relationship, fluff

warning(s): lots of food (obvs) and eating, bakugou is a picky eater (he doesn't like procress foods), chicken nugget slander, bakugou gets offended approx. one (1) time for the lolz

w.count: 2.5k

synopsis: it hasn't been long since bakugou and yourself started taking turns cooking for each other. you don't understand exactly why it started, but nonetheless it's been happening for a while. all that mattered now is bakugou's food kept getting spicier after seeing you constantly adding spice to the food he served you. just how much spice could you take? he was determined to find out.

-x-x-x-

a/n: everyone thank @gingerpeachtae for the idea im finally breathing life into and also thank her for giving me more bakugou ideas bc yes pls

-x-x-x-

"So, you don't eat chicken nuggets?"

"Who the fuck would willingly eat processed food? That shit's obviously bad for you."

"I would eat an entire bag of these oven-cooked, crispy bad boys on my death bed."

"The fuck is wrong with you?"

"A lot, but we don't have time to unpack all that."

That was the conversation that started it all.

You were pulling a frozen, unopened bag of chicken nuggets Kaminari had graciously bought for you at the store a couple days ago from the freezer one evening after all your homeworker was sorted away. As you were sliding the cookie sheet lined with the frozen nuggets into the preheated oven, Bakugou had walked into the dorm's kitchen and gave you the most disgusted look that's ever crossed his face to date.

"What?" You questioned, lifting the oven door up and securing the heat inside while setting a timer.

"You actually eat that crap?" It wasn't offensive to you, the question he asked. You were just bewildered.

"You don't?"

"It's processed."

"Yeah? And?"

"It's disgusting." The conversation went back and forth with Bakugou slandering you for eating such obviously unhealthy food, but the moment the oven's timer went out, you were still happily dancing to retrieve your now crispy dinner from its heated prison.

"Processed or not, I'm eating them and nothing you say or do will change that." He ends up letting you do what you want, but the next day when you open the dorm's freezer in search of something to cook up, he's suddenly slapping your hand from the handle and re-shutting the door.

"Sit down, shut up, and wait," he tells you with no other explanation as he practically shoves your behind into a chair before he starts cooking. Before long, he was putting a plate of steaming noodles with spices and steamed, cooked vegetables mixed in a rich-looking sauce in front of you.

"Is this for me?" You ask, not really waiting for an answer as you pick up the pair of chopsticks he had slid over to you along with the plate. It looks delicious and you could feel yourself salivating from the smell alone.

"Well, it's not for anyone else. You just gonna stare at it all night or what?"

"That wouldn't be a bad idea, it looks great."

"Shut up and eat it," he grumbles, trying to hide the fact that your compliment and stary gaze definitely inflated his ego. As you happily eat, he remained beside you, watching you with a soft gaze and refilling your glass of water when it was close to becoming empty.

The flavor was thick and rich and with eat bite you felt happy because the food Bakugou made you was delicious, but also sad because each bite was one closer to finishing your plate. Even when Bakugou said that there was more if you wanted, you knew you had to save some for him to eat too. Before long, he got his own and joined you in sharing a meal.

Later on that day, he did get a little teasing from Kaminari because he had cooked for you. It didn't last very long though.

Now, it's been close to two months and Bakugou was once again slaving away at the stovetop, turning his sizzling pan with beef down to a simmer as he stares down at the brown, well-cooked meat. He lazily stirred the meat around with his cooking chopsticks, pushing the grounds around in the grease that came from the pieces, he lifted the pan to strain the content.

On a separate burner was a concoction of flavors in the form of a sauce that would soon be added to the meat then to the cooked noodles he had sitting on yet another burner. As he looked at the sauce, he contemplated adding a little kick to it.

On occasion, when his back was turned, he would see you sneak in spices and seasonings when you thought he couldn't see you. Ever since he started cooking for you, he had taken it easy on the spice since his classmates all called him crazy for the amount of spice he adds to his food. The last thing he wanted was you telling him to stop making food for you because it was too hot or spicy.

So, bit by bit, he's been adding flavors and spices to up the ante just to see what you could take and what your limit was. So far, it's been a week since he's started that and part of him was relieved to have some spicy food back in his stomach. He also always had a side bowl of plain rice to serve just in case the next meal he served was too much for you.

You were currently up in your room finishing up some homework when he mixed in the sauce to the meat and then stirred in the noodles. He pulled his phone from his pocket, taking the spice of the day and sprinkling it in until he thought enough was enough. Pushing his phone against his cheek with his shoulder, he calls your cell.

"Dude," Kirishima walks into the kitchen, smelling the strong scene of the spice he was adding into the almost finished dinner product. "Are you trying to burn your own tongue off?"

"It ain't for you, so shut yer trap," he bites back when you finally pick up. "Hey, idiot, come downstairs. Foods done." He hung up after a quick 'I'm coming!' from you before he promptly stuffs his phone back into his pocket. Turning the burner off with a satisfying click of the turner, he moved the pan to the only cool burner and started spooning it into bowls.

Part of him was nervous for this dish honestly, not that he was going to voice that concern out. It was a bit different than the normal Japanese dishes he made, and took a bit from other regions than Japan. It sure did smell good though.

"You're really going to make Y/n eat that? It smells like a full-on pepper man!"

"I already said, it ain't-" his temperamental rant got caught off when you come trotting into the kitchen all smiles and once again with stars in your eyes. Every dish of Bakugou's you've had the pleasure of eating so far was bliss to your taste buds so you couldn't wait to try something new! "Well, you got down here fast."

"Took the stairs. This food isn't going to eat itself!" You peek around his back to Kirishima, his hair all flat and still dripping with remants of shower water. "Looks like someone just took a shower. Hunting for food?"

Kirishima smiles, rubbing the side of his head with the towel still thrown over his shoulders to collect those annoying beads of water.

"Yup. Nothing like something tasty right after a nice shower."

"You want to try Bakugou's cooking? It's really good!"

Before Bakugou could reject your offer of his food that was made solely for you and him exclusively, Kirishima laughs. The red head opts to open the fridge and pull out a small, prepacked sandwich instead. They were small, easy and for sure not packed full with ridiculous spices, he and the others had stocked up on them other day because they were on sale.

"No thanks. I think maybe that's an exclusive delight." He looks at Bakugou's glare that could double as a faint pout. He started opening his packaged food before continuing. "Besides, I can't handle that type of flavor." You raise your brow at his reasoning but shrug it off esaily.

"Your loss."

"Stop talking moron," Bakugou interjects, handing you your bowl filled with steaming food. "Go sit, I'll be right there." You quickly take the bowl and utensils from him as you place a small kiss on his chin in thanks and trot off to sit down and wait for him.

Bakugou feels a burn on his side as he glances over at Kirishima, peering over his sandwich at his friend. His eyes were thin in mischieve when he sees the slight flush on the blond's face that ran to coat the top of his ears.

"Not one fuckin' word," he growls, the silent acknowledge of his blush between the two only made him redder.

"I'd never," Kirishima taunts back. Bakugou just makes his own bowl and practically stomps to go and join you for dinner, leaving the red head to his tasteless, store-bough sandwich.

Loser, Bakugou thinks to himself- although fondly.

It really was easy to get to Bakugou's heart. Just compliment his cooking and give him one, small kiss in the kitchen. Simple as that. Well, with the added condition that it was you fulfilling the overall quota. If it were someone like Midoriya, a quick 'wow, it looks great', and whatever food was mentioned would be thrown out the window asap.

As you two ate, Bakugou watches you. Today's food was almost up to his spice standard and you joyfully take bite after bite like it didn't have even a hint of a kick in it. As you both were close to finishing, he spoke up.

"Hey." You hum at him, mouth full as you almost whine at the thought of having no more food after this. "I'm making food tomorrow too."

"Isn't it my turn though?"

"I'm not repeating myself," he hisses. You immediately cave, letting him have his way. You weren't going to complain about not having to cook for one more day; far from it. Although, you were curious as to why he wanted to cook again. Maybe because he enjoyed cooking or maybe there's something new he wanted to try?

"Is there a particular reason or?" You try pushing.

He's silent for a moment, sitting in thought. "Not really," he mutters. You drop it at that. If he wanted to cook, then you'd let him without too much fuss.

And then tomorrow came.

Bakugou was already in the kitchen cooking, or rather finishing up cooking, by the time you got back to the dorms. You had showered and changed into something clean and comfortable before you meandering your way down to the kitchen. Coming up behind him and popping off to his side, your hands behind your back and neck craning to get a good look at the food he was messing with.

"Soba?"

"Okinawan soba noodles," he mutters the specifics before he grabs a small bottle without a label on it. The bottle was something he had gone home earlier in the day for since it was a weekend and snaged from the kitchen in his home before tearing the lable off so you wouldn't know what it was.

Koregusu.

The best way to eat the punget hot sauce from Okinawa was to have soba noodles with it in his opinion. It happened to be one of his favorates he had at home, even with the alcohol mixed into it, it was more spicy than acoholic. And it always hit the spot that is his spicy fix.

Pouring in drop after drop of the sauce, you close your eyes, smelling the spice and taking it in.

"That smells really good," you purr.

"It better taste good to you too." Finishing up, handing your your portion and taking his own, you both move to the table and start to eat. Nothing unusual, nothing out of the ordinary aside from the slowness of Bakugou's actions.

He was purposely taking it slow, taking it easy. A few noodles between his chopsticks here and there, stiring the soba around, scrolling on his phone on occassion, taking a small sip of water. All to just watch you.

He watches you happily eat bite after bite and not so much as flinch at the taste of the hot sauce he added. After slurping up another string of noodles, he clears his throat to get your attention. You flick your eyes up to him, cheeks full as you chew your current bite.

God you were adorable.

"'s it good?" You happily nod at him, cheeks red. He couldn't tell if it was red because of the spicy sauce or because of your eleation of the food itself. However, the level of spice did effect your lips, he could seem them puffing out in a near induced pucker that he found just a bit too cute if he was being honest with himself.

"It is! It's nice to finally have something decently flavoured to eat."

"Excuse me?" His voice dropped along with his brows. You immediately tried to remedy the automatic reply that just shot out of your mouth. Coughing lightly, you take a drink of water before you notice Bakugou had set his chopsticks down and brought his elbow up to rest on the table, his chin in his hand while he frowns at you.

"It isn't what you think," you rush out, trying not to smile in embarrassment at the predicament you had put yourself in. "All the food you've made me was good! It was, really! I promise," you almost whine at his unchanging, offended expression.

The hand that didn't support his chin rested on the table, his fingers tapping as if trying to make you continue to convince him why he shouldn't be offended by your off-hand comment.

"Ughh!" You groan, throwing your head back and kicking your legs under the table. Resetting your position, you lower your head and form a pout. As you look down at what little remains of your food, you fumble and play with your chopsticks lightly. "I just really like spicy foods and the foods before weren't that spicy, that's all." Your voice almost sounded pathetic now, like you were on the verge of crying.

You weren't. You just knew that if Bakugou hears the way your voice was quiet and held the smallest tone of dejection, he'd stop scowling at you. You hear him sigh in front of you, the sign of you being correct. When you glance up again, he was no longer glaring at you, but more scrunching up his face in mild irritation.

"If that was the case, why didn't you fuckin' tell me. I would've added my level of spice from the beginning idiot." His hand that was under his chin slid up to his forehead, rubbing at it as his eyes closed in supressed anger.

"I dunno," you whine again until all the creases in his face had finally smoothed out.

"Whatever," he finally dismisses. "It's over and done with." He finally looks back up at you with eyes that held the same look of aderation he would always have with you, all traces of potential offense vanished. "In the future, if you want something spicy, just tell me."

"Okay," you slowly nod. "I will."

Bakugou grabbed his chopsticks again, reached across the table and pusing the ends of them into your bottom lip. He pushed into your lip enough to slip them between both of your lips and then slid it to the side and up up, pushing the corner of your mouth up into your cheek.

"Good. Now smile," he told you. You instinctively smiled at him, before he took his chopsticks back and started eating again. "Eat before it gets cold."

He didn't say anything else and neither did you. Although, you really wanted to tease him about the red dusting his cheeks that you knew wasn't from the koregusu.

-x-x-x-

a/n pt2: i can't end fics for shit sorry (gimee that feedback pals)

[crossroadsfossil]

106 degrees

Summary:

Here’s a fun science fact: Birds consistently run at a higher temperature than humans do. It tends to range between 99 degrees fahrenheit up to 112 degrees. Hawks’ own body temperature tends to self-regulate around 106 degrees.

This is important when you get caught in an autumn rainstorm with a villian you don’t really trust.

Also known as 5 times Hawks falls asleep on Dabi

Prompt: For something fluffier, how about Hawks can't stop falling asleep on Dabi because of how hot he runs. Dabi constantly has an arm full of bird and has no clue what to do

Bonus if they still didn’t trust each other the first time it happened

A03 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31366130

Here’s a fun science fact: Birds consistently run at a higher temperature than humans do. It tends to range between 99 degrees Fahrenheit up to 112 degrees. Hawks’ own body temperature tends to self-regulate around 106 degrees.

It’s something he and Rumi discuss often, if only because Rumi liked to snuggle up to him and comments on it constantly. She has no room to talk since she also runs at a higher temperature. Granted, it’s not much higher than your usual human baseline. She runs about a hundred or a hundred and one, depending on the season.

Needless to say, Hawks is a very popular patrol partner in the winter. Add in his feathers (which are amazing insulation, despite not being meant for it) and the large fluffy jacket he’s never without, and it’s not surprising that he’s almost never alone in the cooler weather, even if most of his companions can’t keep up with him once he gets going.

Neither his feathers nor his jacket are doing him any good right now, as soaked through as they are. His day had gone from bad (a long day topped off with a meeting Dabi ‘forgot’ to tell him about) to worse (an incoming cold front) to absolutely terrible (a storm that was preceding the cold front, resulting in rain, sleet, snow, or all three since this was Japan after all).

As soon as the sky opened up, Hawks insisted they take shelter. He’d herded Dabi towards the closest abandoned warehouse. He ignored the expression Dabi sported as he broke in. He didn’t care what the villain thought or how entertained he was by the action. He was a practical man and it was abandoned. Besides, if he didn’t get out of the wind and rain, he was at serious risk of going into torpor. The gear he was wearing today wasn’t meant for repelling water and it was about as much use as an icepack in winter.

There were a list of things he didn’t want to happen around Dabi, and going into torpor was fairly high up on that list, alongside bullet points such as ‘getting drunk’, ‘getting high’ and ‘running into another hero’. The best Hawks could expect from Dabi was for the villain to light his feathers on fire. At worst, he figured Dabi wouldn’t be the only burnt nugget around after he was finished with Hawks.

“Hey birdie, I’m not opposed to a show but take me out for dinner first.” Dabi said, watching as Hawks shrugged out of his coat and feathers in one fluid movement, catching his jacket before it fell off completely. He let his feathers fall to the ground with a disgusting splat. Laundering those would be less of a hassle than laundering his jacket. He draped his jacket over a nearby box in the vain hope that it might dry a little. It probably wouldn’t, but who knows. Maybe if he annoys Dabi enough, the fire-quirk user might raise the temperature in the warehouse by a few degrees.

“Ha. Ha. Not everyone has a fire quirk, asshole.” Hawks replied, giving what remained of his wings a shake to get as much of the water out. A quick look around the warehouse revealed it wasn’t as secure as he had thought, with great gaping holes in several of the walls. He shivered as the wind blew through them and started looking for anywhere that would provide a barrier between himself and the wind. He watched enviously for a moment as Dabi rolled his shoulders and began steaming slightly, burning the moisture out of his clothes and coat.

He spotted a pile of boxes, with several piled up on three sides to make a small nook and started to walk towards it.

“So, what do you have for me?” He asked, sitting down and scooting until he hit the back ‘wall’ of boxes.

Dabi shrugged. “Nothing. Just wanted to see if you’d come.” He replied.

Hawks stared at him, not quite believing what he just heard. Dabi’s growing grin cemented the fact that he had not, in fact, misheard.

“You’re an asshole. You seriously just called me out here on a whim? I’ve got better things to do, Dabi.”

“What, rescue people? In this weather? I think not.” Dabi said, slinking towards Hawks. Instead of taking a seat on the box directly in front of him, Dabi decided that the best place to sit was practically in Hawks’ lap. He shoved the hero over and leaned against one of the boxes that made up a makeshift wall and smiled at Hawks, daring him to do anything about it.

“Dick. So what now? Are you going to suggest we play Shiritori or I-Spy to pass the time? Since you invited me out for a playdate, we might as well.”

“That is not what I did.”

“You did it on a whim. It sounds like either a playdate or you miiiiiiiiiissed meeee.” Hawks said in a sing-song tone, delighting in the way it made Dabi’s face scrunch up in irritation.

“We could play ‘how many burnt feathers does it take to get to the crispy chicken center’.” Dabi held up a palm, a blue flame flickering to life in the center of it. Hawks looked between the flame and Dabi’s face and, very pointedly, brought his hands up to warm them.

“Thanks. My fingers were getting cold.”

Dabi huffed and closed his fist, snuffing the fire out.

--------------------------

When the bird actually showed up in the storm, Dabi wasn’t sure what he was expecting. He certainly wasn’t expecting the hero to stick around, let alone break into a building. Especially not the way he had. In the split second between Hawks looking at the door and breaking in, he’d assumed the hero would use a feather to lock-pick it. It seemed like something the hero would do- sufficiently flashy enough and sounded like the sort of party trick the pigeon would learn. Instead, Hawks had pulled out one of his larger feathers, slid it into the bend of the padlock and twisted it, using the feather like a lever and cracking the lock off with brute strength.

He wouldn’t say it intrigued him, but it was damn close. There were still things about the bird he didn’t know and he was still half-convinced the hero was a spy, but shit like that definitely made him question that assumption.

The hero also annoyed the ever-loving hell out of him. More than Toga or Twice did, so he was hoping the bird would slip up and he’d have an excuse to roast the number two hero.

The storm outside had rolled in completely, throwing the warehouse into almost complete darkness. He and Hawks had stopped sniping at each other almost half an hour ago, the warehouse filled with the sound of screaming winds and hammering rain. He was pretty sure this was a new record for Hawks. If he gave a shit, he’d say something about being impressed. He didn’t give a shit and he was more interested in figuring out what the fuck was making that weird noise. It kept disturbing the quiet of the warehouse; it was almost a peeping squeak, like a chain swinging in the wind, but far more organic.

He lit up one of his palms, peering out into the darkness to see if he could spot the noise. All it did was make the shadows worse and throw the hero into an eerie light. The hero was sitting with his eyes closed, and as Dabi watched, about every third exhale the bird would shiver slightly and let out that peeping noise.

Was that… Hawks’ version of a snore?

Pretty ballsy of the hero to fall asleep next to him. Ballsy and stupid as hell. Slowly, he brought his hand closer to the bird, intent on setting at least one wing on fire.

Gold eyes blinked open, unfocused. Dabi froze, waiting for the bird to react.

Hawks did, but not in a way Dabi had been expecting.

“Fucking hell-” Dabi spat as Hawks leaned against him.

The bird was freezing.

It was like getting hit by a wet washcloth that had been sitting in a freezer, and within moments he could feel the water seeping through his clothes. The bird was freezing and soaking wet.

Then the bird shivered again, almost cuddling into Dabi’s arms. Hawks’ eyes had closed again and it left Dabi with an armful of bird and no good idea how to handle this or how to feel about it.

Logically, Hawks was probably seeking out the warmth, and hell, maybe he was like Spinner. Spinner hated the cold and was about as tolerant of it as Dabi was of the heat. Guess that might explain the sleepy-thing. Spinner mentioned something about torpor once. Dabi hadn’t been listening because Spinner was goddamn annoying.

He brought his legs up, shifting Hawks so that he was sitting sideways and half on Dabi’s lap. One of his hands came up and, against his better judgement, settled on the remaining plumage Hawks had left on his wings. They looked comically small like this, and he had been wondering about how they felt.

Right now, they felt wet and cold.

He tsked and slowly heated his hand up, combing his hand through the feathers.

Slowly, they went from feeling like wet paper to delightfully smooth and soft.

---------------------------

Normally, Hawks enjoyed waking up. He had a nice bed and decadent sheets. He usually woke with the sun, and despite having an early shift, that still usually left him with an hour he could spend just basking in the delight of a nice bed. If he left the shades open, he could do so in a puddle of sunlight.

His bed didn’t feel right this morning. Too lumpy and for a moment he tried to recall if he had brought anyone home the night before. There was a hand combing through his hair, so there was a very distinct possibility that he had left the warehouse the night before and-

His eyes flew open at the thought.

He didn’t remember leaving the warehouse and-

“Chill your tits, bird brain. Just me.” Dabi said, giving a light tug on a lock of Hawks’ hair. He ignored the pleasant way it sent shivers down his spine.

“What the fuck.”

“Yeah. That was my thought too. Lemme guess- you go into torpor?” Dabi asked.

“Do I even need to answer that right now?” Hawks’ shoulders slumped and he groaned.

Fantastic. He did exactly the thing he hadn’t wanted to do. Dabi let out a soft huff, almost a laugh but not quite. Hawks leaned back, feeling an arm against his back and keeping him from going too far. Dabi didn’t look peeved, and that raised his hackles. His eye narrowed as he tried to figure out what happened.

“What?”

“You did something.” Hawks stated, running through a checklist in his mind. He didn’t feel any burns. Nothing smelled like ash. The only real change from before he went into torpor was his hair and wings were fully dry and his clothes felt, well, not dry but not sopping wet anymore.

Oh.

OH.

Dabi noticed the grin on Hawks’ face, and started spluttering. “You were just-”

“You preened meeee.” Hawks sang, laughing at the affronted expression on Dabi’s face.

“I did not. You were dripping everywhere.”

“Uh-huh. And that included drying my wings… why?”

“....Because they were there. So shoot me if I wanted to know if you had greasy bird feathers.”

“Nope. That the same reason you decided to sweetly comb through my hair? I mean, really Dabi. If you wanted to play with my hair and wings that much, you could have at least gotten me dinner first.” Hawks teased, stifling a laugh as Dabi’s expression went from affronted to a grouchy embarrassment, before then actually lifting Hawks up and dumping him on the ground.

One- Damn. Hawks’ wasn’t heavy but he was mostly muscle so. Damn.

Two- He was just laughing harder now. To think that Dabi got shy about being caught playing with hair. He got to his feet, trying to brush the dust from his pants before giving it up as a lost cause.

“Well Hotstuff, thanks for the preen and playing heating pad. Guess we did get to know each other a little better tonight.”

Dabi flipped him off, sliding off the crates and making his way towards the door they came in through.

“Dabi?” Hawks called out. To his surprise, Dabi stopped, turning to look at him, dubiously waiting for the rest of his question. “For the next meeting, can I play with your hair?”

A moment later he was scrambling away from the fireball Dabi sent his way, despite knowing that it wasn’t a true attack and Dabi was only trying to get him to stop talking and hide his frazzled expression. Hawks watched Dabi make a beeline out the door, wheezing on his laughter as he gathered up his jacket and feathers.

Teasing Dabi was going to be so much fun.

[clickbait-official]

mbc

from @artwitch28's headcannons

masterlist

tw: implied/referenced abuse, depressive themes, and transphobia

---

Endeavor was a stuck up little bitch.

Not that a lot of people knew.

Oh well. He’ll get his revenge one day.

Touya sighs, setting his keys on the counter.

“Keigo! I’m home!”

The house was big- airy, if that was a word. Birdboy hated closed spaces. Touya couldn’t blame him, either; he couldn’t stand anything that looked like his “training” room.

There was a thunk upstairs as Keigo ran down to greet him.

“How was work? How was Dad?” He asks.

“Dad”, Atsuhiro Sako, was Touya’s adopted dad. They worked together under their agency, the League of Heroes. The League of Heroes were made up of heroes who were told they were villains, or considered outcasts.

“It was alright, Big sis Magne started asking people if they wanted interns.” Touya responds to his fiance.

Keigo comes up behind him, hugging him and wrapping his wings around Touya.

“Hmmm. Did you look for an intern, dove? You could get your brother~”

“I didn’t think about it, no. But there’s Toga already. Did you?”

Touya can feel Keigo smile into his shoulder.

“There’s one with a bird quirk.”

“Oh, I see.” Touya smirks.

His stomach rumbles as he does.

“Aww, does my little birdie need some food?” Keigo says, a twinkle in his eye. “I’ll go get you some.”

He grabs his hand and leads him to the kitchen.

They look through the fridge, then the freezer.

“Chinken nuggets?” Keigo asks, after a beat of silence.

“You did not just reference that, again.”

And Keigo laughs, loud and clear. Touya thinks it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever heard.

God, he’s in deep, isn’t he?

They sit together at the counter while they wait for the food to cook. They don’t talk for a bit, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Speaking of Shoto, how’s the family? Rumi’s been talking ‘bout Fuyumi a lot.” Keigo says, taking the pan out of the oven.

“Oh my goodness- remember that crusty kid I was talking to you about? He’s dating Natsuo.” Touya deadpans, and Keigo bursts into giggles.

“God, he could do so much better! And he chose the crustiest kid on this side of Japan!” He rants, Keigo staring from across the table.

“Hana’ll kill you for that.”

Touya sighs again, knowing that he was right. “Yeah, I know. I still don’t know why Natsuo chose her crusty brother, but he’s happy. And it gets him out of the house, too.”

Keigo nods. “Away from Endeavor.”

“Away from Endeavor.”

They sit for a while in silence at that. Touya knows Keigo used to idolize Endeavor, and he knows why.

God, out of all people, couldn’t Keigo have a good childhood?

At least he’s not hurting now.

The sun has fallen, and they’re laying on their bed.

The moonlight filters through the curtains. Keigo’s been asleep for a while now.

The slightest breeze drifts into the room.

If we lived in a harsher world, we’d be so much more cruel.

Oh, what a beautiful night to be alive with you.

---

Touya brings Keigo into the agency. He’d been curious about how it worked- the League was unprecedented.

Touya hoped he’d want to join too. He wouldn’t mind his soon-to-be husband patrolling with him.

Hero work is a dangerous game to play, after all.

The League of Heroes’s building is not very intimidating. It’s survived thunderstorms, 52 mental breakdowns (not by the same person), and now the prank the entire League is in on.

It’s time for the hero charts.

Showtime.

It had taken so much bribing, from the poor intern that worked for one of the higher ups, to one of the higher ups themselves.

Touya could only hope it was worth it.

Oh, it was worth it.

On live television, in front of nearly the entire world, Enji Todoroki, known as Endeavor, had gotten massively pranked.

First, it was the glitter. Then, the water balloons and the rainbow slime. After that, it was the chicken and the three fire extinguishers.

And of course, copious amounts of cheese.

And it was all filmed. It was all broadcasted to a live audience.

Oh- and everyone knew who did it.

But there was no evidence.

God, Touya loved trashing Endeavwhore (and that’s an insult to sex workers).

It was the night after when Twice suggested something Touya had never thought of before.

The night was young, fireflies just beginning to come out. They were on the balcony, drinking and catching up like family would.

“Hey,” He said, “Why don’t you sue him? Get your bro outta that place and over here.”

Twice was a genius.

Twice was a goddamn genius.

Headlines were all over the place. “Endeavor gets sued?” “Enji Todoroki- an abusive piece of shit?” “Endeavor loses custody!”

God, the journalists were having a fucking field day with this. Touya can’t blame them, though.

The day was beautiful. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and little kids were running around outside. Keigo was sitting next to him, listening to his music. Touya finished up some paperwork to finally, finally get his siblings out from under Endeavor.

Thankfully, there was enough evidence to prove he was at least neglectful. People could finally see just how much of an asshole he was, and how high his civilian casualty and endangerment rates are.

There was one teeny, tiny, thing.

The Commission.

The only reason Endeavor was still in the top ten is because of that fucking Commission.

God, he hated the Commission. The things they did to Keigo, the scars that still remain on his psyche.

Fuck the Commission.

It just- It made him so angry. The way Toga and Spinner were treated, how Twice wasn’t able to get help until he became a hero- God, he hated it.

And he didn’t even know how bad it was! He was sheltered from Quirkist attitudes. Well, as sheltered as you can be, living with Endeavor as a dad.

He only knew a little bit of how much they had suffered under this system. He knew there was something more to how Twice always stayed in his hero costume, or how Magne avoided that one part of town. How Toga stared at that one schoolyard for a little too long before walking away.

And he hated it. So, so much.

Fuck the Commission.

---

It’s Touya’s first free day. The hecticness of moving all of his sibling’s stuff into their house was crazy. Who knew that keeping a house was so hard? Not him, that’s who.

So, like any rational person, he goes out to catch up with a close friend.

He had met her during his time at U.A. Her name was Hana Shimura. They bonded through their shitty parents. She was the older sister of the crusty fuck, Tenko.

Why did Natsuo decide to date him? He'll never know.

Somehow or another, the conversation went from how their days went to when Tenko got his quirk.

“Yeah, he decayed the dog! Thankfully he froze up after, so I got Mom. If he didn’t freeze up, I’d be dead.”

The way she had said it- so casually...She probably was terrified at the time.

“There was a UA student that helped him, too. Oboro? I think that was his name...Anyway, Oboro really helped him! He’s kinda a father to him, if I’m being honest.” She went on, telling Touya how proud of Tenko she was.

How he had become a search and rescue hero, which he already knew, and using his quirk he had helped so many people! Because he can decay the debris trapping civilians and rescue them!

They walk down the street, still talking about their siblings and generally how life was going.

They were gonna meet up with Twice. There was a new restaurant that he noticed during his patrols.

Touya heard it was pretty good from Fuyumi and Rumi.

It looked pretty nice, too. He’d walked by it a few times.

“So how is Twice, anyway? I don’t hear much from him these days.” Hana says, pushing open the door to the restaurant.

“Guess you’ll find out, huh?”

Twice is sitting at an empty table in a corner. He was smart enough to change out of his hero costume, just like Touya and Hana.

He lifts his head as they get closer to the table.

“Hey guys! How’ve you been!” He greets them as they sit down.

“Good, good. We were talking about my brother, Tenko.” Hana says. Touya nods in agreement.

“And also how he got to be a hero, too.”

“Did I ever tell ya how I got to be a hero?” Twice asks them, barely containing a smile.

He never told them, well, not Touya.

Turns out, when he was having trouble with his Quirk, one of his doubles went and got a hero license. At the time he was barely of the streets, so he became a hero, joining up with Mr. Compress and Magne to create the League of Heroes.

Because why not? It kept him off the streets and he could help people like him.

A win-win for Twice.

Touya hated how his weird uncle was treated before he became a hero.

Because he was a person, like anyone else. Just a person.

So why was he treated so differently? Why didn’t people help him when he needed it?

God, Touya was so tired.

---

It’s late one night. Touya is alone with his adopted father.

“Dad, why’d you decide to be a hero?” He asks out of the blue.

Atsuhiro’s eyes mist over, and Touya worries for him. Touya’s told him all about the horrific shit he’s gone through, and he can’t help but wonder if he had gone through something horrible too.

Atsuhiro takes out a silver locket, and gently pries it open. He points at the picture inside.

“Look! It’s them…My perfect little family... That’s them! There’s my little girl, and the most beautiful person to ever exist. There they are…”

It’s silent for a moment, the only thing one could hear were the cicadas far away from here.

Touya opens his mouth, “What...What happened to them?”

“A hero. He didn’t care for protocol. He killed- He killed them! And no one believed me…” Atsuhiro trails off, looking down at the floor.

Touya can’t help but feel sorrow, too. He could’ve had a mom, another sister...

He really needs to stop adopting people.

He can’t imagine the pain Mr. Compress must’ve been in. To lose a lover, a child? Oh, it must hurt- so, so much. To lose what was essentially a part of you?

Oh, it hurts to even imagine.

“...They’re really pretty, Dad.”

“They...were both so beautiful in this picture. Toga reminds me of her, y’know? They are both so pretty, so grown-up, and have that same sense of humor…”

Touya’s not sure to who he’s referring to, but nods anyway.

Who’s he to question grieving old men?

“And the days fly by so fast now, I can’t help but feel as though I’m supposed to be insulted by it. But I can’t bring myself to care anymore…It hurts, Touya, it hurts. Sometimes...I can hardly bring myself out of bed...I feel like a ghost…”

It’s silent for a moment, before Touya speaks.

“Dad, I think you need to get help. This isn’t normal. And…I think they’d want you to be happy too, Dad. Don’t you deserve to be happy, too?”

“...I don’t know.”

“You don’t...know?”

“I don’t think I am. But...I want you to be happy. And Tenko, and Hana, and Twice, and Magne...But it’s so tiring, being happy. And I don’t know what to do!”

His sobs seem to echo through the building.

“Come on, Dad. Let’s get you help. You can get some rest.”

He leads Sako back to his house, Atsuhiro being half-asleep by the time they get home.

Mr. Compress takes the spare bedroom, and falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow. Keigo notices Touya, and walks over to him.

“Heya dove~ How was your day?”

“Worrying. Dad...Dad needs some help. He’s got some shit going on...He’s so tired, Kei. We need to get him therapy or something.”

“Oh, baby…” Keigo whispers, but Touya is too tired to hear.

He falls asleep in his fiance’s arms, safe and sound.

---

The house is abuzz with activity when Touya wakes up. Keigo’s laughter echoes around the place, filling the air with a sense of home.

What a beautiful way to wake up.

Touya gets dressed and walks downstairs. Keigo’s in the kitchen, talking amicably with his sister, Fuyumi. Dad was smiling fondly at the sight, picking at his food. Natsuo was talking on the phone with someone, blushing a little.

Keigo turns towards him, and oh, he was so handsome.

“Good morning, dovely~”

Unbelievable. It was too early for puns.

“Ugh, no. Don’t ever make puns this early. Dad, you doing okay?”

Atsuhiro looks over at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“I’m doing just fine, sonny boy~”

“God, it’s too early for this shit. Keigo, get me some coffee, will you?”

“Language!” Fuyumi scolds.

Eventually the coffee is made, and tables cleaned. Breakfast is done.

Keigo helps set up an appointment with Fuyumi. She’s a part time therapist, part time substitute teacher.

Touya takes a deep breath. One day, Dad will be okay. He’ll be alright.

Time for work.

It’s a beautiful, sunny day when Touya goes on patrol again. This time with Magne and the new intern, Toga.

He already knew somewhat what the girls had gone through.

“Good morning, Magne, Toga.” He greeted them.

“Good morning!” Toga says, and then they go off.

Touya’s stuck in his thoughts as they walk to a coffee house while on break. He listens in as he reaches for the door.

“Yeah, my parents threw me out cause they didn’t think I was a girl.”

“My parents threw me out, too! I had to run away, they didn’t like my quirk very much...I got lucky, and Mom became my mom! That’s how I became a hero! How did you, big sis Magne?”

“Mr. Compress saved me from one of those fucking creeps. He let me stay with him for a while, and helped me get back on my feet. I decided to be a hero then, to help people like me.”

They sit down at one of the tables, still talking about their lives. Touya takes a bite of his muffin.

Ah, life was alright, if just for a little while.

--- requests & asks are open! (request em here) ---

@kirililbb

[purplesurveys]

1156

survey by ehxsnos

First lets get the basics out of the way...

What's your name? Robyn.

How old are you? 22.

Where are you from? Philippines.

What color are your eyes and hair? Eyes are dark brown, hair is black.

When were you born? April 21.

Now for the fun stuff!

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Some people can fall asleep with their closet doors open (and this is a thing in the first place??)? I could imagine that would irritate me to death, and I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep until I got up and closed it.

How many people have you slept with this week? Zero.

What size is your bed? Just a twin size. It’s all I need for now.

What do you drink with dinner? Cold water, always. We also usually have other drinks served at the dinner table - Coke, buko juice, and iced tea - but I never drink anything else.

What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Barbecue sauce.

Last person you kissed/kissed you? You know who it was, I don’t feel like continuing to mention them on surveys as often as I used to any more.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Two for the Road, The Proposal, and Toy Story.

What is your usual bedtime? From Monday to Friday I’m usually passed out anytime between 10 PM–12 AM. It’s a different story on weekends; revenge bedtime procrastination is my thing now, so I go to bed anywhere from 2–5 AM.

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I always had different outfits on per year, but they were always the generic ones that we could buy costumes of at the mall – pirate, Tinkerbell, mermaid, etc. I didn’t start getting resourceful and/or witty with my Halloween choices until I was about 14 or 15 when I first went as AJ Lee.

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? February last year when I had my grad photo taken.

Take a vitamin daily? I am guilty of skipping my vitamins lol.

What do you wear to bed? I answer this all the tiiiiiime but I like wearing super-thin clothes so it’d feel airy while I sleep. I don’t exactly live in the chilliest country in the world.

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Can’t relate.

Ever have plastic surgery? No.

Do you want kids? I would love to have kids, yeah.

Where did your last kiss take place? Outside of that person’s car, just right before they got inside.

Four words to explain why you last threw up? I had a fever coming in and was starting to feel nauseous.

Last thing you ate? Adobo.

Do you get your nails done? Nope.

When did your last relationship end? September.

So tell us, what room ARE you in? I’m in my bedroom.

How many stories does your home have? Three if you count the rooftop.

Do you own headphones? No. The one I have in my room is my dad’s; he just lets me borrow it.

Have you ever...

Gotten a Brazillian wax? No, never tried having that yet. Being waxed looks like it hurts, so I’ve stayed away from it to this day lol.

Gotten so drunk you couldn’t remember wtf you did? Only a handful of times as I try not to get to that point, but yes, it’s happened before.

Been called a bitch? Sure.

Slut? No.

Pierced anything? I have a couple of piercings, but nothing I pierced myself.

Had a tattoo? Not yet.

Smoked a cigarette? Yes, but I actively try to make it a point not to form it into a habit.

Smoked weed? Nope.

Missed someone so bad you couldn’t eat or sleep? Sure, this has happened back when I still felt this way about the person. 

Worked out at a gym? No, never at a gym. I’d feel too self-conscious to get a gym membership altogether haha. In the brief time I worked out, I only did it at home. 

Snuck out of the house? No. With my parents, it’s much safer to ask permission than attempt to be sneaky since they always say yes anyway.

What’s the nearest furry object? That would be Kimi.

Is the room you are in messy? I would say it’s messy in my mom’s eyes but relatively neater than the average bedroom I would see at my friends’s and relatives’ houses. My mom just has ridiculous sky-high expectations when it comes to neatness and I’ve stopped bothering to meet them years ago.

What is the single largest item in your house? Either the living room couch or my parents’ bed, not sure which would ultimately take up more space.

When did you first become interested in sex? I mean I remember starting to explore porn when I was maybe 13 or 14, so those ages would be safe guesses.

How much money did you spend today? Zero and I plan on making it remain at zero. Payday is taking so long though :((((

What is the biggest amount of money you have ever had at one time? I think I had to hold around ₱7,000 in bills at one point in high school when my mom asked me to pay for something tuition-related.

What kind of cell phone do you have? iPhone 8. It sounds more and more ancient with each year that passes lmaooo.

Have you ever been under anesthesia? Never, and I hope I never have to? I’m scared of the things that could come out of my mouth.

Which Disney parks have you been to? None of them.

What does your bed comforter look like? Blue.

When did you last cry? Yesterday, from watching an emotional clip.

When is the last time you took medicine? Start of June.

What was the medicine for? It was to treat my UTI. I was already feeling so much better by the time I had to take that last pill, but I was instructed to take it for a certain period of time so I was just following the schedule.

What kind of health insurance do you have? I’ve actually never tried looking into the specifics of it. I know health insurance is part of my job, but I don’t even fully understand insurance yet HAHA and the thought of it makes me anxious so I haven’t read too much into the kind of insurance I have and the inclusions I can avail from it.

What is your birth control method of choice? I don’t have a preferred one. I’ve only been with a girl, so I haven’t had the chance to explore methods I could gravitate towards.

How much do you spend on your parents for Christmas? Several thousands of pesos, usually.

If you were given $1k and had to use it on 1 purchase, what would you buy? Like, I was challenged to finish it off on one thing? I’d get an iPhone 12.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? They never caught me drinking when I was not yet allowed to drink. Now that they know I do drink, there’s no ‘catching’ that happens; they don’t mind me downing a bottle of soju from time to time.

Have you ever crawled through a window? I may have as a kid.

What do you spend most of your money on? Food delivery, heh. :)))))))) It’s my favorite way to spoil myself.

Is there a secret you've never told your parents? Yup.

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? Yes. I’m definitely a photo hoarder regardless of the person, so she’s not an isolated case; I also still have photos of people who aren’t in my life anymore, like Athenna and Sofie. I just don’t look at photos of me and Gab anymore, but they are definitely still around. Deleting them would be like deleting the last six years of my life and that sounds a little unfair.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? Someone spread a rumor that I was bi and dating Andi back in 6th grade but I wouldn’t call that nasty.

How many rooms does your house have? It originally had three, but we had the balcony renovated into another bedroom, for my brother; so now we technically have four.

Would you sex tape with you in it for 3 million dollars? As long as I felt safe in the environment and with the person/people, sure.

Are you happier single or in a relationship? There are different kinds of happiness you can get from either; I don’t believe this is something that should be compared.

Do you have curly hair? No.

What is a compliment you receive often? That I write well.

How tall are you?: 5′1″.

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when? Not sure, maybe one of my parents or one of my best friends.

What is the last thing you said aloud? “Already?” Cooper was nipping at my hoodie and he was able to destroy a part of the underside in like three minutes.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee.

What is one thing that can ALWAYS be found in your freezer? At least one type of frozen goods, like tocino or hotdogs.

How many pets do you own? Two.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? I’ll be 23.

Last time you went out of town? January.

First thing you wash in the shower? My hair, then I work my way down.

What kind of shampoo & conditioner do you use? I use a Dove shampoo and a Pantene conditioner.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? No.

Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? I don’t think so. We don’t have that here so there’s no reason for me to own anything from there.

How often do you hold hands with someone? Never. That’s a sensation I miss, for sure. But I’m fine – this is just my period talking HAHAHA

What was the most recent thing you bought? I got a Zinger from KFC because I was craving for fast food at 1 AM yesterday.

Could you ever forgive a cheater? Considering how stupid I can get when it comes to love, probably yes in certain situations.

Do you have Verizon? No.

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? To a very, very tiny extent, especially compared to my siblings. I’m nowhere close to being a brat, though. 

Have you ever been pregnant? No.

What is your average cell phone bill? I’m on prepaid, so I load up my phone every week with a certain amount instead of paying for a consolidated bill every month.

How many piercings do you have? Two.

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in? I turn it on only once I’ve gotten in.

Have you ever had stitches? Nope and I’m terrified of the thought. I hope I’ll never have to need any.

Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? Eugh, outdated question. Next.

Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? Coffee.

Do you have a wireless keyboard and mouse? No. I don’t use a mouse and my keyboard is already built into my laptop.

How many songs are on your iPod or MP3 player? I don’t regularly use either anymore.

Where did you get that shirt you're wearing? I’m pretty certain this is a hand-me-down from my mom.

What are your pet’s names? Kimi and Cooper.

Honestly, are you in love right now? Nope.

Honestly, what color is your underwear? Blue.

Honestly, do you think you are attractive? Some days.

Honestly, do your wrists hurt? Haha no, but my back and shoulders do.

Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? Sure.

What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant? Continued from this morning. Figure out a way to tell my parents without getting hit.

Was there anyone who "made your day"? Today? Not really.

Are you vegeterian? Nope.

How many windows are open in your computer? Two of Chrome, one of Spotify.

Do you read Perez Hilton? Ew, no. Does that guy still do stuff???

Is there a baby in the room with you right now? No.

Do you plan on moving within the next year? It’s nice to daydream about but likely not gonna happen.

Have you been to a baby shower? No.

What brand is your computer? Apple.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? 4-5 if we really want to make the most out of the available space, but at present it only has 2.

Are you taller than your mom? Nah. Everyone thought I would be, but then I just stopped growing. I am now the shortest member in the family hahaha.

Are you a cuddler? Only with significant others. I would feel uncomfortable if a non-SO cuddled me as I am not a touchy person to begin with, except when it comes to hugs.

Sleep on your back or stomach? Stomach. I could never sleep on my back; I feel too exposed.

Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed? I always close the bathroom doors. Kimi has the tendency to pee on the bathroom floor so I make sure he doesn’t follow me in there.

Do you dress for style or comfort? More for style. I do take comfort into account, but looking nice and feeling confident in my outfit honestly takes precedence for me.

Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? 15,000 cases today.

Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Yeah. It would even be a bit of a relief, honestly, because it means less pressure for me to have sex to please my partner.

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes, both happy and sad tears.

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It depends on the person, I guess. Some can handle breakups well, and I’m not one of them.

How long has it been since you had sex? It would be 7 months this April.

Who was the last person to call you babe? My ex probably.

Last reason you went to the ER? I’ve never been to.

Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents? Yeah. They were having trouble conceiving at first, but my mom eventually found out she was pregnant with me on her 27th birthday.

How old was your mom when she gave birth to you? ^ 27.

Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes, many times.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? A couple of weeks ago. I’ve been meaning to shave again but I’ve just been sooooooo lazy.

What facial cleanser do you use? I don’t use any products on my skin.

Do you use a blowdryer? Nope.

How many purses do you own?: 3 – I now have more than one! Haha. A month ago I had to buy bayongs from this small business for these PR kits we needed to send out and they included a couple of purses as freebies. Since we’re all working from home, I got to keep them since I was the one who placed the order heheh.

What are your top five favorite stores to shop for clothes? I really just stop by stalls of small businesses I see at the mall and see what trendy pieces I can get from them.

What kind of clothes do you mostly wear? I like halter and tank tops, paired with denim jeans.

What about shoes? Sneakers. You’ll rarely see me wearing anything else.

Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now?

For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? I’ll feel icky about it every now and then, especially if my flow happens to be heavy; but for the most part I don’t have any complaints. I think bleeding out every month is actually kind of fucking hardcore.

What are your first thoughts when your visitor visits? Be relieved. I’ve never had irregularity issues with my period, so every time it comes it usually serves as a reassurance that there continues to be no problem.

Favorite underwear brand? Don’t have any.

Last thing you bought at the mall? Three new pods for my vape.

Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend?

What color are your pillows? They’re the same style as my current bedsheet, so they’re also blue.

What if an ex asked to be back in your life? I think it would be nice if we would at least have lunch somewhere to catch up, then ask her what led her to that point.

Don’t you just love DVR? We didn’t use it often.

If you're on a laptop, how much charge does it have left? 93%.

Last gift you recieved? I got lunch from Bea after our virtual event with the media for one of our clients. Later that day, Kata also had banana bread delivered to my place :)

Lesson you recently learned? What to do when my candle starts tunneling, which I had looked up literally no more than 5 minutes ago because it started happening to my scented candle :(

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey by ehxsnos

First lets get the basics out of the way...

What's your name? Stephanie.

How old are you? 31.

Where are you from? California.

What color are your eyes and hair? I have brown eyes and naturally dark brown hair, but I dye it red. I’m a year overdue, though...

When were you born? July 28th.

Now for the fun stuff! Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? They don’t have doors; I have a curtain instead that I do keep closed.

How many people have you slept with this week? Zero.

What size is your bed? Full.

What do you drink with dinner? I don’t always have something when I eat unless I already happen to be drinking something, like coffee or a Starbucks energy drink. I do always have water nearby, though. But yeah, I usually don’t drink while I’m eating, it’s usually before and after.

What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Ranch or Chick-Fil-A sauce. 

Last person you kissed/kissed you? Joseph, almost 10 years ago...

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? There’s several.

What is your usual bedtime? After 7AM. :/

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? It varied, but there were a lot of vampire and witch costumes.

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Six years ago for my UC graduation.

Take a vitamin daily? No, but there’s a few I should be taking.

What do you wear to bed? What I wear during the day, which is leggings and graphic tees.

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Wal-Mart and Target. We haven’t had a K-Mart in well over a decade.

Ever have plastic surgery? No.

Do you want kids? No.

Where did your last kiss take place? I think it was in his car.

Four words to explain why you last threw up? I had a stomach bug. That was like 4 years ago.

Last thing you ate? Wingstop for dinner, which was at 8PM. I skipped out on my nightly ramen tonight that I typically have around 2-230AM and now it’s 4:53AM and I’m starving. :/ I actually fell asleep around 10PM last night cause I had a bad headache and then woke up around 230AM, but I didn’t feel like getting up and making it. Sigh. 

Do you get your nails done? Nope. I’ve only had my nails done once, and that was for my 8th grade promotion.

When did your last relationship end? Back in 2013.

So tell us, what room ARE you in? I’m in my room.

How many stories does your home have? Just one.

Do you own headphones? Yep, I’m currently wearing my new Beats earbuds my lil bro got me recently.

Have you ever... Gotten a Brazillian wax? No.

Gotten so drunk you couldn’t remember wtf you did? The last time I drank I got really drunk (and really sick) and there’s parts of that night that are spotty.

Been called a bitch? Jokingly. Seriously as well, I’m sure, but not to my face. 

Slut? Jokingly.

Pierced anything? *Okay, finishing this at a much later time now cause I ended up zonking out.* Anyway, I just have my earlobes pierced.

Had a tattoo? No.

Smoked a cigarette? No.

Smoked weed? Yes.

Missed someone so bad you couldn’t eat or sleep? I’ve gone through really hard times after losing loved ones. 

Worked out at a gym? Yes.

Snuck out of the house? Nope.

What’s the nearest furry object? My throw blanket.

Is the room you are in messy? No.

What is the single largest item in your house? Hmm.

How much money did you spend today? Zero.

What is the biggest amount of money you have ever had at one time? I think 5,000.

What kind of cell phone do you have? An iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Have you ever been under anesthesia? Several times.

Which Disney parks have you been to? Disneyland and California Adventure.

What does your bed comforter look like? I don’t have one. I use a throw blanket, which is rose gold and fluffy.

When did you last cry? Last night.

When is the last time you took medicine? Over an hour ago.

What was the medicine for? It was my pain medication. 

What kind of health insurance do you have? I’m not sharing that.

What is your birth control method of choice? Well, I’m a virgin but besides that I can’t get pregnant, sooo.

How much do you spend on your parents for Christmas? A lot. I love saving up and spoiling my family with what I can.

If you were given $1k and had to use it on 1 purchase, what would you buy? Uhhh. I’d have to really think about that.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? I honestly didn’t try to drink before I was 21.

Have you ever crawled through a window? No.

What do you spend most of your money on? Food delivery, heh. :)))))))) It’s my favorite way to spoil myself. <<< Saaame.

Is there a secret you've never told your parents? Yes.

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? Yes.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? No.

How many rooms does your house have? It has 2 bedrooms.

Would you sex tape with you in it for 3 million dollars? No.

Are you happier single or in a relationship? All I really know is being single and while I’m not happy, it’s not because of my relationship status. Being in a relationship wouldn’t fix my problems and would add more stress.

Do you have curly hair? No.

What is a compliment you receive often? I rarely receive compliments.

How tall are you?: Like 5′4.

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when? My mom recently.

What is the last thing you said aloud? I said goodbye to my mom as she was leaving for work.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee.

What is one thing that can ALWAYS be found in your freezer? Ice cream. My dad likes to always have it.

How many pets do you own? One.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 32.

Last time you went out of town? February 2020.

First thing you wash in the shower? My body. What kind of shampoo & conditioner do you use? A salon style for red dyed hair.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? I own a lot of things from Hot Topic, from clothes to accessories to collectibles. Majority of my graphic tees are from Hot Topic and their sister store, Boxlunch.

Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? Yeah.

How often do you hold hands with someone? I hold my doggo’s hand a lot, ha.

What was the most recent thing you bought? Food.

Could you ever forgive a cheater? I don’t know. Possibly. It would depend on some things.

Do you have Verizon? Yes.

Have you ever been pregnant? No.

What is your average cell phone bill? I don’t know. I’m on a family plan and my parents and brother handle it.

How many piercings do you have? Two; one in each earlobe.

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in? When I get in.

Have you ever had stitches? Yeah, I’ve had several surgeries. 

Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? Uh, it’s a piercing. Who cares.

Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? Coffee all the way. I don’t drink.

Do you have a wireless keyboard and mouse? Nope.

How many songs are on your iPod or MP3 player? *shrug* I haven’t used my iPod in almost a decade. 

Where did you get that shirt you're wearing? Speaking of Hot Topic...

What are your pet’s names? Princess Leia, either one for short. And a ton of nicknames.

Honestly, are you in love right now? Nope.

Honestly, what color is your underwear? Blue.

Honestly, do you think you are attractive? No. I’m a mess.

Honestly, do your wrists hurt? Not at the moment.

Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? No.

What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant? Say they got me mixed up with someone cause that’s impossible.

Was there anyone who "made your day"? My mom went and got me my favorite breakfast before she went to work. 

Are you vegeterian? Nope.

How many windows are open in your computer? Two.

Do you read Perez Hilton? Nah.

Is there a baby in the room with you right now? No.

Do you plan on moving within the next year? We’d love to, but I don’t see that happening.

Have you been to a baby shower? I’ve been to several.

What brand is your computer? Apple.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? Two.

Are you taller than your mom? No.

Are you a cuddler? Not really.

Sleep on your back or stomach? I have to sleep turned toward my side and propped up due to acid reflux. 

Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed? Always closed.

Do you dress for style or comfort? Comfort, definitely. 

Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? Blahhhh.

Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Sex isn’t a big thing for me, honestly. Also, I don’t plan on getting married. 

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? My first boyfriend did when I broke up with him. 

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It’s horrible.

How long has it been since you had sex? Virgin here.

Who was the last person to call you babe? *shrug*

Last reason you went to the ER? I haven’t had to go for myself since my accident.

Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents? Yes.

How old was your mom when she gave birth to you? She was in her early 20s. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? It’s been awhile. My legs don’t really get hair growth for whatever reason, but that’s fine with me.

What facial cleanser do you use? I don’t.

Do you use a blowdryer? No.

How many purses do you own?: Several.

What are your top five favorite stores to shop for clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

What kind of clothes do you mostly wear? Graphic tees and leggings.

What about shoes? Adidas.

Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? I’m single, but no I’ve never cheated before.

What are your first thoughts when your visitor visits? It’s always like, ‘ohhh, that’s why I’ve been feeling like that.’

Favorite underwear brand? I don’t have a particular favorite, really.

Last thing you bought at the mall? It was Christmas gifts a couple years ago.

Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? I’m single. What color are your pillows? I have like 10 pillows and they all look different.

What if an ex asked to be back in your life? No.

Don’t you just love DVR? It’s nice to have.

If you're on a laptop, how much charge does it have left? It’s plugged in, so it’s at 100%.

Last gift you recieved? My brother recently bought me a new pair of Beats earbuds.

Lesson you recently learned? *shrug*

[calwrights]

Origin Stories

A birthday gift for my soulmate.

June 26th 2017

Legit went meta towards the end

Fate often times tore people apart,

but,

sometimes fate brought people together,

But only if,

they were meant to be together,

in this life.

Age 7-8

Two kids were lost in a supermarket.

In the same supermarket?

On the same day?

In the same time?

In some lives,

they were not.

But at least once in their lives they were indeed lost in a supermarket on a hot summer day.

Supposed to cling to their mothers skirts and stay close like they were asked to, while their mothers shopped.

But,

well,  

there’s only so much a child can listen to.

Which is why child number 1 found herself lost in a throng of people.

And child number 2 found herself hiding behind one of those new freezers the frozen food was stored in.

Child number 1 didn’t mean to get lost.

An old lady had dropped something from her cart and her mother always told her to respect her elders.

So as an obedient child she help get the old lady’s piece of paper back to her.

Child number 2 did get lost on purpose.

Because in her mind-

It’s what her mother dared her to do.

Child number 1 started panicking.

The nice old lady gave her the pizza coupon as a reward for getting her coupons back to her.

But when child 1 turned around she was lost.

Her mother nowhere in her sights.

Just strangers milled around in an unfamiliar place.

As one would suspect, it’s overwhelming for a kid.

Tears started welling up in child number 1’s eyes as anxiety settled into her bones.

Child number 2 was starting to think that actually taking her mother’s words to heart was a bad idea.

She also started to think that sitting behind a dusty, old, cold freezer eating frozen food straight out of the bag without asking was a bad idea.

What her mother actually said was:

“If you get lost I’m going to leave you and you’ll live here forever.”

Living at the supermarket didn’t seem all that bad to child number 2.

But the loneliness felt terrible.

Child number 1 started to run.

With no aim in mind.

Well, she actually hoped that at least one of the people that she literally ran into would scold her and she would cling to her skirts like she was supposed to and never let go.

But well, fate didn’t end up going so well for child number 1.

Fate just created a misunderstanding.

She ran past the same old lady who gave her the coupon.

And in her haze child number 1 didn’t realize the old lady calling after her.

She also didn’t realize the old lazy still calling out for her and that she started to follow child number 1 through the crowd.

She also failed to see the security guard taking notice of the commotion and coming to the wrong conclusion.

With two people yelling after her the girl ran faster before slipping in front of a CAUTION WET sign.

Child number 1 yelped as oily, crumbly, cold hands dragged her behind a freezer.

Child number 2 had witnessed the small disturbance and decided to take action.

However she didn’t think said action will get her punched straight in the face.

“I saved you! Geez...” child number 2 muttered harshly while holding her aching nose.

Thankfully it wasn’t bleeding.

Child number one responded with a sharp: “I never asked for your help!”

“Well, if you want to go back outside-”, child number 2 accented her words by trying to shove child number 1 through the small opening that was used to get behind the freezer.

“No! No, fine ok! I’ll stay- Stop pushing me!” child number 1 whispered.

Child number 2 stopped and propped herself back up against the freezer.

Child number 1 sat against the wall,

the old woman and the security guard having long since ran past the freezer.

“You should apologize.”

“Why do I need to apologize?”

“You punched me in the face.”

“You dragged me behind a freezer.”

“Do you want to go back outside?”

“...”

“Fine, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. Besides I think I scared you, haha!”

“I wasn’t scared by some weird… freezer dwelling...chicken nugget eater?- Why are you eating-”

“I’m not eating chicken nuggets!”

“I saw them. Hiding them under the freezer won’t help.”

“You can go back out-,”

“You’re supposed to pay for things before buying them!”

“Shhhhh!-”

Child number 1 looked at child number 2 distrustfully.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Child number 2 said sniffing.

“...”

“You’re crying-,”

“You’re the one who was crying while running into people.”

“I was looking for my mom, ok!”

“...”

“You lost your mom too? I mean- I didn’t lose lose my mom I just…”

“So, we’re both lost?”

“I’m not lost.”

“Yeah, right...Nugget.”

“Yeah, well...Pizza coupon?”

“I’d take just the Pizza part.”

“...ok.”

They eventually came out from behind the freezer and explained to the security guard the misunderstanding.

Then they went off to search for their mothers.

Child number found her mother immediately, and ran straight into the folds of her skirt.

Child number one was so wrapped up in her mother scolding her she totally forgot about child number- Nugget.

And when Pizza turned back around she couldn't find her friend.

Nugget was also searching for her friend from her post on the side of a grocery cart.

Finding her mother was easy with her parent yelling for her.

The cart rattled through the parking lot.

The texture of the asphalt making it quite a bumpy ride.

Pizza helped her mother put groceries into the car.

Nugget took the keys and started the car to get the AC running like she was asked to.

And while their mothers drove out of the parking lot.

Two girls met eyes from two different cars.

One car going left.

The other turning right.

Neither knowing how important, or how painful the other will be in their lives.

And by painful...

It’s painful by how they never quite meet.

No matter how close fate brings the two individuals together.

Age 14-15?

School field trip sounded cool until Nugget got lost.

She wandered off looking at the flock of sheep on the farm.

The class was supposed to be learning about farm animals, but Nugget had already read about them from the books in the library.

Eventually she came to a rusted chain link fence.

And that was the second time she met Pizza.

Pale skin, glasses, and white clothes.

Pizza was coming back from the bathroom when she heard rattling from a fence and a voice shouting nonsense.

She turned around and almost didn’t recognize the kid- no teen now.

Messy curly hair, tan skin, and scars.

Pizza was about to open her mouth and respond when-

“Where have you been?” a loud voice bellowed. Nugget flinched at the loud voice, the rusty fence mimicking her.

One of Pizza’s chaperones came stomping over. Kicking up dry dust and dirt as she went about.

“Ms. W-!”

“We don’t have time! The buses are waiting on us, let’s go!”

The chaperone totally ignored Nugget as she grabbed ahold of Pizzas hand.

Pizza was being dragged back to the buses.

“Wait! What’s your name?”

“It’s-!”

Pizza was cut off by the buses started up, having caught sight of the last lost student.

Nugget was trapped behind the fence. She almost had the idea to climb over.

As Pizza was driven off in a mass of screaming kids, their eyes met once again.

But Pizza was the only one who was behind glass.

And Nugget was only left with imprinted rusted hands,

from grasping the fence too hard.

Wishing there were no barriers to get to know her mysterious friend more.

Age 17-18?

Senior trip usually sucked.

Which is why Pizza opted to go to a medical program.

While her peers were probably getting drunk and making bad life decisions, she was furthering her career.  

She was performing an analysis on a deep shock dummy patient.

Her and other top students were put into the window lab.

Where visiting schools can see what it will be like for their students that join the program.

And as fate would have it,

Nuggets school was visiting.

Pizza didn’t notice the smooshed up face against the glass staring intensely at her, until most of her colleagues were distracted by it.

Time froze for both girls.

Until, staff in white lab coats were ushering Nugget to get back with the main group.

Nugget didn’t want to leave and was causing a ruckus until Pizza make a motion for her to just go.

Pizza’s heart broke at the rejected expression Nuggets face wore.

Nugget reluctantly followed the staff.

She looked over her shoulder through the glass again.

And Pizza had half a mind to leave her simulated patient and find Nugget.

But,

Nugget was already gone.

And the exit only led to the other side of the building.

It was useless.

This time, not only separated by glass.

But by duty, and law.

Age 25-26?

There were so many instances where they just were about to meet.

But something was always between them.

Tearing them apart.

Fate was getting frustrated.

Which is why fate made Pizza miss her alarm at 6:30 am, and that forced her to get coffee from a shop closer to her internship job.

Unbeknownst to Pizza or Nugget.

Nugget was working the shift there during 7-10 am.

Pizza literally fell into the shop, her papers falling all around her.

The sound of the bell literally being killed and a girl falling into the coffee shop at 8:10 am startled Nugget, which caused her to fall off her stool behind the counter.

Thankfully it was just them in the shop at that time.

Pizza called up from the floor while gathering her papers:

“Hey! I know you guys are a coffee shop, but do you have any tea? Coffee really doesn’t affect me and I just need something this morning. I woke up late, green tea would be best, no honey or sugar thank you-!”

“Coffee doesn’t affect me either!- I mean- You got it ma'am!”

Nugget turned her back and started brewing hot water and setting out the leaves required.

Pizza finally captured all her escaped papers and walked up to the counter, placing down money to hurry and get out of there.

“Sorry, the tea is going to take just a minute to brew-”

Nugget froze.

Pizza looked up when the barista stopped in the middle of her sentence.

Their eyes met,

again.

Time froze.

Again.

The timer for the tea went off and out of habit Nugget turned around sharply and started pouring the tea into a cup.

They couldn’t think of anything to talk about, yet.

Nugget ringed up the cup of tea, and Pizza blew on the steaming surface of the cup.

“So, are you late or something?”

“I am, actually.”

“You should go then, you’re in a very worthwhile profession.”

“Kicking me out already...Nugget?”

“Ha! Funny because the last time we met I got the feeling you were the one kicking me out, Pizza.”

“Oh, how the roles have reversed.”

They chuckled into an awkward silence.

“...We never got each others names-”

Pizza’s sentence was cut short by the jingling of the shop door and a crowd of loud businessmen walked through.

“Go, you’ll be late.- Yes! What can I get you sir?”

Frowning as Pizza realized Nuggets words were true she found her feet walking towards the door.

She walked outside,

just to rush back in and-

“I’ll come back! I live near here! I will learn your name!”

All she received from Nugget was a small smile.

And now, thinking back.

Pizza should’ve realized that her smile was forced.

Sad, tense.

Pizza should’ve known.

No matter how much fate can dabble its hands into time and space.

Sometimes, it’s not enough to save someone.

Pizza’s internship was hell that afternoon.

There was a shootout between a gang and a couple of policemen working undercover in a few shops.

Many people were dead or requiring surgery to survive.

Throughout the entire afternoon all Pizza was assisting in surgery were doctors with civilians.

No policemen.

Yet.

Not until Nugget.

Goddamn it, Nugget.

Pizza’s hands shook as she read the report in the operating theater.

       There was just no way they should save her, looking back.

She didn’t have a bulletproof vest on, like the others.

The report didn’t say where it went, but later it was found on a dead kid.

The sacrifice,

went to waste.

Pizza glanced back at the body through the glass.

And in a bitter twist of fate, they were once again separated by glass,

duty, and law.

Pizza read Nuggets information.

  So, Chayanne was your name.

Age 26.

Born June 4th.

Daughter to two Marines.

I watched you go up, kinda.

And you, me.

Mine is Nahil.

I should’ve just told you my name.

Just yelled it.

I’m sorry.

Fate,

Sometimes brings two people together.

Sometimes it doesn't.

And sometimes it brings them together.

Just to rip them apart.

But in another life.

Nugget survived.

Pizza wasn’t late, but decided to try out a new coffee shop.

Nugget was in the medical program with Pizza.

There was no rusty chain linked fence.

Or even the roles were reversed and Pizza was the one on the table.

And in some other life.

This is all a story

Maybe even written by one of them.

In a universe where they know each other's names.

And in that life.

Fate finally succeeded.

Happy birthday moon.

“You will never be completely at home again,

Because part your heart will always be elsewhere.

That’s the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

[jindesignupdates-blog]

Survey on lost

So to post the result of the survey - so thankfully I received 40 responses!! 

HURRAY :) and the responses are interesting to read, and the feeling it gives me fits perfectly the purpose of the project. 

- Knowing others are lost too, and it is okay to be lost and it is a normal thing. So let go a little for now. - 

lost in spaaaaceeee

Below is a summary of the answers and I picked a few interesting ones and edited so that it can go into the ‘LOST BUT NOT LEAST’ coping cards.

What phrases comes up in mind related to lost? (Lost connection, Lost in translation.. etc) 

>  the answers for this can be inspirations for the gifs. 

Lost cause, Lost goal, losing my mind, lost opportunities, lost in thoughts, lost in the world, Lost memory, Lost in space, he is a lost case, get lost, lost yourself, Lost fight, lost and found, lost the battle, Lost in the ocean, Lost in life, Lost in the city, Lost bet, Lost direction, Lost youth, Lost faith, Lost in translation, Lost in time, Lost in the crowd, Lost soul, Lost in your light, Lost hope, Lost track of time, Lost interest, Lost virginity, Lost child, Lost control

What are your stories of losing something? (It can be something funny, interesting for you. You could lost something and found it in an unexpected way, or you could have found another opportunity instead. It can be losing anything - objects, motivation, opportunity..etc)

> The question in the card can change to : You know, other people also lost things. 

So i'm not sure what kind of story i have. But there were one story with my mom. She needed to take a part in conference and from the morning she were trying to find her glasses. After 5-6 hours of search she wasn't able to find it and in panic went to the clinic near our house where you can get glasses. In a hurry she came in and starts to say : I need a new glasses, now, as soon as possible, I lost mines. Everyone in the shop were looking at her for 20 seconds and my mom said: "Why you are looking at me, i need glasses". At this moment everyone started to laugh and one of the workers bringed her mirror. She was laughing and talking about it to everyone next 2 weeks..

I lost amazing watch which I got for my 10th birthday the same day I got it. My parents were so angry and punished me and I was so sad for very long time. Also I didn´t get any other watches from them ever again. They couldn´t be found anywhere. After 10 years, when I was helping my parent to move furniture I found them inside of the flowerpot where they fell from the sofa. They were still going on!

Also, I lost my new iphone 4S 8 years ago. That time it was a big deal to have one and I was saving for it for half a year... So I was pretty desperate. I needed to use my boyfriend´s PC to connect to find my iphone app. I would never use his PC if it was not for this. Instead of iphone I found out (as he left his email open) that he was cheating on me and finally after long unhappy relationship I pack my stuff that day and left him forever. Iphone was never found but I didn´t care anymore anyway.

I lost my wallet after a night out in Korea. I only realised I had done so when the taxi dropped me off outside my apartment and I didn't have any money to pay him. I asked him to take me back to where we started so that i could try and find it but he just swore at me to get out of his taxi. I had a few days of pure stress without my wallet but the wallet was posted to me by whoever had found it with everything still in it. I couldn't believe it. That NEVER would have happened in England.

One time as a child we lost my dog. We looked everywhere for him. Spent hours going up and down the street calling him, and eventually gave up to come home and cry because an escaped dog in the city probably wouldn't survive long. As a last ditch effort after all this I went to check my bedroom closet. There he was, curled up and sleeping cozily on a pile of clean laundry. He hadn't heard a thing.

Sorry, I lost track of all my losses

I lost my virginity in a nightclub in rural Spain and got kicked out of the club after being caught

I actually lost myself for a while in the past when i prioritized the wrong people and vibes in my circle. We live, we learn, then progress (:

I lost very important files for a client and lost a job and money!

Getting drunk, “losing” my wallet, cancelling my bank cards, then finding it in my freezer 3 days later. I must’ve put it in there when I had gone in to get some chicken nuggets.

I once lost the equivalent of 5euros in my cousins home in Serbia. I didnt think much of it as it was only 5euros but my cousin and his mum were so surprised by my reaction. In their eyes these 5euros was worth more than in mine. Later on they found it and gave it back :P just goes to show that not everyone values things equally.

What do you do when you feel lost? Do you have a ritual that works for you? (Take a bath, Take a deep breath, Talk to someone..)

> The question in the card can change to : When I feel lost I__________

look at old pictures to remember who I am.

take a bath, walk and nap. 

go for a walk alone with music.

talk to close friends.

write every thought on the paper.

just keep on stressing out. That’s my ritual.

try to think of activities that would make me feel more as a whole. Usually it’s doing sports, cooking and cleaning. 

go to the nature, that helps me a lot to understand how "small" our problems and egos are in comparison to nature, earth and universe. 

read the letter I wrote to myself few years ago with priorities and aims I want to reach in my life. 

usually feel depressed so I go to mountains for a walk to clean my mind, usually during night. 

normally go on a long walk somewhere whilst listening to sad music. 

take time alone to gather myself, take a shower, relax, maybe go for a walk - anything that helps me think without distractions.

talk to fiends or do stretching or  some other sport which helps to clear mind and then go back to thinking about the issue.

just try to focus on something different for a moment, chill, watch a tv series and drink some wine.

Sleep.

breathe and calm down and try to be rational, see what caused it and think about what to do next.

try to breathe and watch a lot of Netflix.

always call my mom and just have a nice chat, she always helps me find myself.

remind myself of how lucky I truly am by being healthy, fed, warm and free to choose my path.

hold my knees and cry in the shower if it’s a bad loss and sing in the shower if it’s a good one.

enjoy the very rare feeling of loss of control and just wander around spontaneously.

have a high speed walk. If it doesn’t help I talk to some of my closest relatives or friends.

try to tell myself things are better now.

meditate, exercise and google “how not to fee lost” hundreds of times.

get lost! I spend my time alone; free of counteractions.

take time for myself and enjoy tea or coffee in a cafe while sketching.

play certain type of music.

first try to solve it by myself but that usually doesn't work so I tend to talk to people about it to hear different opinions.

Freak out. Calm down. Drink. Repeat.

talk to friends I can trust and drink.

meet my amazing group of friends :)

am not the most religious person but usually when I lose hope completely i try my best to pray more.

listen to music, cry and seek out friendly faces.

stop, take a deep breath and look for anything familiar.

need cold air, smoke and cigarettes.

frequently have deep talks with my friends and I believe they are incredibly valuable to me.

exercise, get out the house and do something, act with purpose.

Sleep. It washes all the feelings away. Or... take a walk with my dog, have some relaxing time with him.

talk out loud out

do something fun like painting, watching a movie, creating something, reading.. etc..) 

do physical activity to get my mind off it like dancing swimming 

travel somewhere where I've never been before

cry until there's no tears left, if nothing helps I wait it out and move on until the feeling fades.

What do you do when you lose something?

> The question in the card can change to : When I lose something I __________

remember it forever. literally, and not even on purpose, I can remember every time I lost something special, most because I am still mad at myself about it.

freak out, and then try to start searching with a clean mind.

 accept the fact, because I believe it was supposed to happen.

write down and think about what i can do.

am probably sad for a bit.

panic then regroup and figure out a way to gain it back.

try to figure out where I used it the last time. If I lose a game, I'm usually a bad loser.

recall from the memory every step I did before I realize where I actually put the thing. If I don't remember, I just wait for a miracle that it will appear on the most visible place or when I am cleaning my working table.

call mum.

am angry, because I don´t want to waste time searching. First I search for it in very disorganized way, but if it doesn’t work I calm down, and think step by step where the thing can be and in which moment I saw it last time.

I go step by step back in time and try to find it. When it is a person, I feel really depressed, this puts me into a box with my memories combined with my imagination where I can spend time with that person, this can be also triggered by place or objects which reminds me of that person. When it is job, or some opportunity I just go over it and become more motivated to find a even better job/opportunity.

Get angry and stress the fuck out for a bit before just becoming dejected and sad.

think back to where I might have left it. I think of all the normal places it might be, then run through the list of places I might have put it and forgot.

try to fix it first and then just cope/accept it

Momentarily - look for it retracing my steps. Truly lost - I get angry.

go to the same place where I last had it, try to recreate the same situation. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.

do nothing.

am stubborn so I search until I find it :)

depending on how valuable it is to me I either get sad and look for it everywhere or i just let it go.

try to find it.

ask my girlfriend where it is or my mum for advice.

buy and replace. If not possible, mourn the loss.

internally battle out the opposing feelings of possessiveness versus learning to let go. Meaning, I fume for a couple of seconds until my mind gets captivated by a random shiny object and I forget.

blame myself :)

try to replace it

smile

mention a verse from the Quraan. In other words, I mention God first, then start looking for answers second.

have a hard time coping with it if it’s a real life person but if it’s a material thing i don’t bother that much! No need to stress.

swear profusely

usually just call myself dumb and then try to go back through the things I've done since I last saw the thing.

start looking for it like crazy

tell myself that I will try not to lost something again

usually forget about it the next day if they are things I don’t really sweat that much.

keep calm and look for it.

tear the whole house up. Then cry, take a deep breath and start the process again. It’s usually where I looked first.

pat myself down, also imagine a headless chicken running around. That’s a pretty close description of what I look like.

usually debate the ups and downs and what I can do to retrieve this thing. Maybe even debate whether the thing lost needs retrieving. Generally a long mental conversations with myself.

go back through how I lost it, let it go after a while.

panic. Haha. I try to remember what was I doing when I lost it.

[defenselesswriter]

The Wrong Side of Reality Chapter 11

updated every monday. chapter one with all the links to previous chapters can be found here. also on ao3. for updates, track the tag #the wrong side of reality

Stiles wakes up late the next morning, forgetting he has a ride to school. When he looks at his phone, he has three texts from Derek.

Derek: I’m here

Derek: Stiles?

Derek: Are you even awake?

Stiles quickly texts back that he just woke up and to give him five minutes. He rushes through brushing his teeth and getting dressed, grabbing his backpack and goes. When he checks his phone after locking the front door, he sees it took him exactly five minutes.

“I think we should take a moment to commend me for taking exactly five minutes to get here,” Stiles says as he opens the door to Derek’s car. “My timing is on fucking point.”

He sits in the car and notices Derek is holding a cup out to him. Stiles blinks for a moment and then hesitantly grabs it. “Is this for me?” he asks.

Derek nods. “I figured you’d be tired this morning, and I know you. You wouldn’t wake up early enough to make yourself coffee. I also got you a bagel.”

Stiles blinks in confusion again. “A bagel?” he repeats slowly. “You got me a bagel?”

Derek shrugs and reaches to his right side by the door and pulls out a bagel, handing it to Stiles. “It’s not a big deal.”

Stiles is sure he is only blinking because there’s something in his eyes. He rubs at them to be sure and then takes a sip of the coffee. “Thank you,” he tells Derek, trying to convey how much this means to him.

“It’s not a big deal,” Derek repeats, shrugging and then putting the car in drive.

Stiles disagrees, but he doesn’t say anything. He takes a bite of his bagel and is silent the rest of the way to school as he ponders this. Derek brought him a coffee and a bagel. That means something. It has to mean something.

Once they’re parked, Stiles shoots out of the car, throwing one more, “Thank you!” towards Derek before he practically runs into the school.

“Your hair is a mess,” Scott comments once he sees Stiles at their lockers. “It looks like sex hair. Did you and Derek have sex? Is that why you look all wide eyed and shocked?”

Stiles frowns at Scott. “Really? You don’t have your own sex life to worry about rather than make one up for me?”

Scott rolls his eyes and then digs through his locker. “Allison and I are waiting. We decided that we wanted it to mean something, so...we’re waiting.”

Stiles pats Scott on the shoulder a couple times. “There, there, friend. It’ll be okay.”

Now Scott is the one frowning at Stiles. “I said ‘we’ as in I was there too.”

Stiles shrugs. “All I know is that we’re seniors and still not getting laid, and I have even expanded my options since freshman year.”

Scott laughs. “You’ll find the one, buddy. You will.” He pats Stiles on the shoulder, and the humor in it is not lost on Stiles.

“Thanks, bro,” Stiles says sourly, opening his locker. He glances at the coffee cup in his hand, and all he can think about is how this means something.

Maybe Derek is trying to make up for the way their friendship ended? Maybe he feels bad about it and feels like Stiles deserves to be treated better this time around. That’s probably it. It can’t be anything else.

Still staring at the coffee cup, Stiles remembers how he couldn’t drink coffee for almost a year after his mom died.

Stiles woke up early that day without a reason. No alarm went off, and there was no school because it was a Saturday. Stiles usually slept in, but for some reason, not that day. He went downstairs and walked into the kitchen to see his mom pouring coffee.

On her hand.

She was pouring hot coffee on her hand.

“Mom!” Stiles yelled. “Stop!”

She looked up at him in surprise and then down at her hand. Suddenly, she pulled away and dropped the coffee pot on the floor, glass shattering loudly. Stiles ran over, grabbing his mom’s hand and putting it under the cool tap water.

He could hardly hear it over the water running, but there was no mistaking the sounds of his mother’s sobs.

It took everything in him to not start crying, especially because there was definitely glass in his feet, but he had to be strong for his mom. He tiptoed to the freezer and grabbed some ice, wrapping it in a dish towel and holding it over his mom’s hand.

“I’m crazy,” she sobbed, her head bowed forward. Stiles could see the tears dripping onto the floor. “I really am crazy. That doctor was right. I’m crazy.”

Stiles wrapped his other arm around his mom. “No, Mom. You’re not crazy. It’s okay.”

She shook her head as she sobbed. “I’m going crazy, Stiles. I’m crazy.”

“You coming?” Scott asks, and belatedly, Stiles realizes the first bell rang. He follows his best friend to class, his mom’s sobs still echoing in his ears.

He remembers it’s almost his birthday, and he wonders if the doctors are going to tell him the same thing they told his mom. His stomach is uneasy at the thought. Not that his mom turned out to be crazy, so maybe it’s something else. Or maybe it’s the same thing his mom had and died from.

His dad wouldn’t survive another heartbreak like that, Stiles knows it. He saw how his mom dying broke his dad. It would’ve been painful to watch if Stiles hadn’t been so numb that year. Between Derek ending their friendship and his mom dying, Stiles had nothing. He felt nothing. He wanted to be nothing.

Fuck he can’t have thoughts like this during class. Not just because he feels like he might cry, but also because he has no idea what’s going on now. He hasn’t been taking any notes. Maybe Derek would be willing to help him with the homework assignment tonight.

During lunch, Stiles is about to text Derek when the man himself sits down in front of Stiles.

“Hello,” Stiles says, surprised. “I was just about to text you.”

Derek takes a bite of his chicken nugget and raises an eyebrow. “What about?”

“Do you want to have a study date tonight?” Stiles asks.

“Did I just hear something about a date?” Cora asks as she walks up to the table, sitting down next to Derek. “Finally.”

Derek glares at her, and Stiles just blinks in confusion. “It’s a study date,” Derek reiterates, still glaring at his sister until he turns to look at Stiles. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Great I’ll order pizza!” Stiles is excited. He isn’t sure why this is so exciting, but hey, he’ll get his homework done probably at a decent hour.