#ALSO I do agree with both statements. my issue is when people use the former to disregard asexuality as a genuine orientation

[feathertailedcentipede]

would it be fair to say that "asexuals can still have sex though" is pretty much the same as saying "lesbians can still fuck men though"?

[shivasdarknight]

UPDATE: Volunteer who was reprimanded by OTW calls for the suspension of OTW Board member, Alex T.

Dhobi Ki Kutti gave an update regarding the CCAP that was issued to them on July 19th. In the update, Kutti explains that their response to the CCAP had not been acknowledged by the representative who initially sent it nor any of the Tag Wrangling chairs. However, Board member Alex T. has responded and now Kutti has put out a call for their suspension.

As before, please read the full post if possible. I will be posting the key excerpts.

But to summarize: Alex T. has stood by their racist comments and treatment of Chinese volunteers and have expressed that they are more than willing to do it again. This statement has resulted in two volunteers speaking out against them - Kutti included - and one Board candidate to speak out against Alex T. Kutti has called for Alex T.'s suspension and removal from the board.

Comment from volunteer regarding Kutti's CCAP:

25th July 2023 Posted to the Board Public Channel by Spacegandalf: Also, while I know we can't know who else has received a CCAP, we can observe behaviour that breaches otw policy that continues over multiple years without any changes, and many, many people have pointed out Alex Tischer's racist behaviour (which has spanned years!) and the way Alex has made working with them unpleasant in the way they interacted with people. I just think it's Interesting that Alex is still welcome as a volunteer, but kutti is being told her actions will make her unwelcome if they continue.

Alex T.'s response to Spacegandalf:

26th July 2023 Posted to the Board Public Channel by Board Member Alex Tischer, in reply to Spacegandalf: Or, the alleged ‘racist behaviour’ that people have pointed out consists of a) telling people that if volunteering for the org endangers their personal safety out in the real world they should put that first and take whatever actions to preserve their safety including leaving the org (and at this point I would make the same statement for mental health too, some people have been really affected and to them too I’d say Volubteering [sic] for the Org is not worth more than your personal well-being.) and b) Pointing out that we require a common language in the org to be able to achieve anything. Both statements which I am more than happy to repeat and neither of which go against the code of conduct we all agree to abide by when starting to volunteer. Whereas not abiding to your committees’ confidentiality policy, which you also agree to abide by when starting to volunteer, is very much against the code of conduct.

Kutti on Alex T.'s reply:

With this comment the Board Member has established that their pattern of making racialised hostile remarks, from a position of power, is not considered by the org leadership to be against the OTW code of conduct. The Board Member has also reiterated the racist judgement made against me that my actions to hold the organisation leadership accountable are against the code of conduct. Further, both the previous remarks that the Board Member says they would be happy to repeat, were made to and about Chinese volunteers - the first in a conversation where they were advocating for their own physical safety, and the second when they were advocating for their right to provide communication to users in their own language, as well as their right to be treated with respect and equity. In both situations, the inappropriateness of the statements was apologised for by other people in positions of power - the former by a Chair, and the latter by other Board members. However, at no time did anyone in authority acknowledge that the statements were racist.

From volunteer Entropy:

I think it is the right move on Kutti's part to post what she did publicly, and call for Alex Tischer's resignation. The use of the CCAP and the Code of Conduct to attempt to force privacy above all else makes it impossible to adequately address issues such as this. The voting members of the OTW have the right to know what the people they have elected are saying, especially when it comes to racist, offensive remarks that are not just not walked back, but repeated time and time again. If one suffers no repercussions for their actions, they will continue. The first step in reformative justice is to remove those who do harm from the position which empowers them to do that harm from. I cannot abide by Alex Tischer being a sitting board member, nor do I think we must simply wait them out until their term ends this year. We should not have to "put up with" such disgraceful actions and words because the person will be out of their official seat of power soon. We should not have to wait them out and suffer longer. Alex Tischer must step down, and acknowledge the harm they have caused to volunteers by relinquishing the power they have. If they do not step down, I call for them to be suspended. No one should have to put up with abuse in the hopes that it ends soon. Allowing this to pass without counter-action taken gives an implicit pass for actions that occur in the future. This can only be stopped when we put a stop to letting it happen without consequence. I say this as a volunteer tag wrangler of three years, the behavior I have witnessed from this board member is frankly disgusting. The amount of disrespect toward our Chinese volunteers shown is detestable. Alex Tischer's casual presence in other spaces makes those spaces unwelcoming to those they have repeatedly disregarded without true consequence for their actions and words. Furthermore, I second Kutti's call for an external audit of the board. These issues run deep, but they cannot properly be addressed until we see the ways they are rooted into the organization. The OTW must embrace change, and it must be willing to admit and look into all its faults of the past and present in order to take steps forward in the future.

From Board candidate, Jennifer H.:

The fact that Alex feels comfortable enough to publicly denounce the people pointing out their racist and unacceptable behavior is indicative of how systemic and deep-rooted it is in this organization. To the current and former board members: you have created and perpetuated a culture of racism without accountability, and you have actively caused pain to the volunteers of color who work to keep this organization going. This is why there needs to be more ways to remove board members from their duties - based on their blatant disregard for volunteers of color, Alex never should've been elected in the first place and they sure as hell should not remain a board member or volunteer in the OTW.

It should go without saying that Alex T.'s behavior is inappropriate beyond belief. We should not have to wait for their time on the board to run out. If you are an OTW member with the ability to vote, please go through the contact form and select Development and Membership. As a member, they are required - by the bylaws - to respond to you compared to other avenues.

If you are not and still want to get to them, go through every avenue possible - their twitter, comments on the news section, etc. - and call for Alex Tischer's resignation. Cite Kutti when possible, cite Alex's racist past behavior, and call for their immediate suspension.

Again: please read Kutti's statement and call for Alex Tischer's resignation if you can.

[spainkitty]

WIP WEDNESDAY

I was tagged by @greypetrel but I still almost missed posting this in time, pfft. I finally finished this scene and therefore finished the chapter! There's only one more chapter to finish up and then I'll finally start posting this mammoth on AO3😁 Just for Arja, I made sure to include the little hints of Cullavellan, like, blink and then you miss it, because this is going to be a slowburn from hell and we're only in Part 1 of 3. But now, here we go...

Chapter 6: stolen tribe from stolen heart

“There will be templars here, and more coming if everything goes well in Therinfal Redoubt, but this is also a place for any refugee of the war. Free mages and apostates would be more likely to consider Haven and the Inquisition safe if you’re here,” Adaar said.

Lanil crossed her arms over her chest and glanced around the room. “And everyone else here? You all agree with that offer?”

“Of course!” Ambassador Montilyet said. Although she all but exclaimed it, her tone and bright gaze sounded genuine. “We promised our aid in relocating the remaining free mages. We can’t do anything like that without your input.”

“I’ve had many friends who were mages, and some of them were better people than I ever could be,” Leliana said softly. “I fought alongside Wynne for nearly a year during the Blight. I know how much a single Spirit Healer can do. Your skills and expertise would be as invaluable as your input.”

Lanil was a little, just slightly, flattered. Wynne was one of the strongest Spirit Healers Lanil had ever seen. She had been one of Lanil’s first mentors, and the first one to see her potential with Spirit Healing. She had encouraged Lanil in her earliest memories and praised her progress to Irving a dozen times. To be compared to her made that small part of Lanil, that never quite let go of Kinloch or her rosy-tinted memories of before, preen smugly. She tamped it down, but she could see Dorian smirking at her.

“We can’t let it seem that we’ve ignored Justinia’s legacy when we made ourselves an organization with her writ,” the Seeker said, frowning. “She did uphold the vote of independence. She wanted to find true compromise between the Chantry and the mages. The idea that the Rebellion fell through on something akin to default and Tevinter meddling is infuriating.”

“I can’t even be offended by that statement,” Dorian said with a little sigh.

“There’s been a lot of friction between the former templars and what mages are here,” Cullen said while rubbing his forehead. “Maybe having a mage higher up in the ranks, someone the other mages would recognize as an official rebel, and the templars can see as our ally and as an authority figure, would help. A lot of of them are still using my old templar titles. We need to change the narrative.”

“Well put, Cullen,” Adaar said. Something sly gleamed in her brilliant eyes, but before Lanil could figure out if she was seeing things, Adaar was frowning pensively. “Enchanter Surana, you could work with the Commander to train troops and bridge the enmity between the mages and the former templars. Perhaps we could make you one of his lieutenants? I’m not sure you have the experience to be co-Commander, but it is something we could talk about later.”

“What?” Lanil blurted in shock. “Co-what?”

“That’s a fantastic idea,” Sister Leliana said. “Does anyone have an issue with it?”

“I… uh. No?” Cullen said. Though he looked as flabbergasted as Lanil, as if he too was wondering how the conversation had turned so quickly. They stared at each other, not quite gaping, until they realized, nearly at the same time, how long they'd been staring. Lanil's mouth snapped shut as she glared at the far wall, her ears burning. She was too aware of Cullen's quiet throat clearing.

“That settles it. You will oversee the training of mage troops and former templars with Cullen,” the Seeker said briskly. Adaar and Sister Leliana nodded in agreement, both looking too satisfied. Cullen and Lanil shuffled awkwardly in place, carefully not looking at each other again.

[full-course-identity]

I already tried to say this (somewhat successfully) on Twitter a few months ago, but one particular post here (that I don’t even necessarily disagree w/) keeps popping up on my dash & I really wanna comment on it but I also reaaally don’t wanna start an argument on accident, so uh, here goes -

To preface this: like everyone else, I don’t… love the ant’s attempt to colonize contort DD:DNE into something they’re “Allowed To Access” (it’s esp cool when they use the tag themselves while still, y’know, actively hunting DD:DNE creators for sport); I think their conflation of DD:DNE w/ [mild darkfic you feel shame reading &/or writing, yet still try to self-justify by making sure the bad guys aren’t sexy or w/e (unlike those EEEVIL PROSHI’S)] is contradictory to the entire Goddamn point of the tag, & I really wish the root-rot of moral panic didn’t have to poison & permeate every good thing within modern fandom.

… but maybe we don’t need to reject every aspect of current-day “DD:DNE” communities?

This is still kinda hard for me to formulate for some reason, but like — I’ve been using DD:DNE (both as a tag on my own work, & as a loose “genre” to browse on AO3) for many, many years now, & “in order to use DD:DNE correctly, every single aspect of it must be properly tagged & warned of in advance” is only true if what you Actually mean is “either tag the content, or give the reader a head’s up about a lack of thorough tagging, that way they can still choose whether to risk a trigger potentially popping up later”.

I know that those statements aren’t that different from each other. In fact, I’m actually pretty sure most people reblogging posts phrased as the former innately agree w/ the latter.

… but “no you LITERALLY need to fine-tooth-comb that shit for every potential kink, trope, reference, etc” is the wording that keeps gaining traction!

oh fucking fuck this fucking post wasn’t supposed to post yet fucking Goddamn tumblr I clicked save draft

Look. I know most people probably understand this. It’s not a groundbreaking take.

But I began second-guessing my understanding of DD:DNE entirely (never an issue prior!) when this rhetoric started gaining traction, so indulge me for a sec:

If you, for w/e reason, don’t like extensive tagging (I prefer going in blind & actively cultivate an audience willing to do the same), then… you don’t have to!

There are alternatives to giving up your full hand, y’all. You can talk about it in the tags, the authors notes, the summaries, etc. — you just need to make damn sure the ambiguous-ness of the risk factor here is clear to potential viewers, bc otherwise, yeah: it defeats the whole point.

[thedisneychef]

Chocolate Peanut Butter Sandwiches

I picked a really bad week to be allergic to peanut butter. Ok, so I can't pick being allergic to peanut butter, but the truth of the statement still stands... This isn't a great week to have a peanut allergy in my house. It feels like everything I've made lately has peanuts or peanut butter in it. An even bigger bummer as everything I've made looks utterly fantastic. The recipe today is a total throwback. While it's something that's still around occasionally in Disneyland, it used to be one of Disney World's signature treats at the Main Street Bakery and Starring Rolls at the former MGM and has since been retired. I have heard that you can rarely find them around in the fall, especially around Halloween, but despite their cult status as a treat that rivals Mickey ice cream and rice treats, it hasn't been found reliably around WDW in about 10 years and Disneyland started phasing them out about 5 years ago. However, there was a time where these little sandwiches were the go-to treat. Creamy, chocolaty, and kept cold (even frozen!), they were like a peanut butter ice cream sandwich and a slice of heaven on a hot summer day. Their taste, retro feel, and former "must have" designation has elevated them almost to mythic cult status with Disney snackers... So much so that when they were brought back for 3 days (that's right, they were randomly available for 3 days), I saw Twitter forwards like you wouldn't believe when they'd been spotted and people giving running updates as to their availability.  Honestly, it was crazy.  I've never seen a snack inspire such frenzy in people. As a result of what I think is the most viral Disney Twitter explosion not involving the new Fantasyland that I know I'd ever seen, I reached out to one of my connections to get some more info about this treat. What I came back with was the recipe, direct from one of the folks who used to actually make it back in the mid 90s. According to him, the snack was good and enjoyed by many, but people complained that it'd melt too quickly and was way, way too messy to really enjoy. Then, as luck would have it, at the place on property where this treat was exclusively available at the time (which I'm not going to name because I don't want to get anybody in trouble for sharing the story with me...), in one of their displays that is refrigerated, they had some extra space and they decided to slide a few of these bad boys in the refrigerated case. From there, the iconic chocolate peanut butter sandwich as it was known was born and became a sensation, eventually becoming available at several places throughout Disney. Nobody really knows why these were phased out... They were time consuming to make and difficult to store, but more importantly they were served in conjunction with a sponsorship with a peanut butter company that has long since expired which may have been the nail in the coffin to this delicious treat. I'd have to agree that, while making these is easy, it certainly is time consuming and requires a lot of space, both on the counter and in the fridge. If you've got both of those issues worked out, then you've got a hit on your hands with this recipe. I served this as is, making no real changes at all. The only thing is that I don't have the fancy-pants molds that they have at Disney, so I quite literally spooned the mixture on the cracker and then molded it with my hands to a square, level shape.  It's not messy or sticky, so I really didn't mind getting hands-on with the peanut butter mixture. I'll also say that I went with a combination of chocolates... I did half of the bars with milk chocolate and a dark chocolate drizzle, the other half dark chocolate with dark chocolate (tempered with whipped cream) drizzle. Honestly, I hate working with milk chocolate because it's such a pain, so for those who don't do a lot of chocolate work, I'd suggest going with a dark or bittersweet and then adding whipped cream to reach a taste that you'd enjoy. But if you're more confident working with milk chocolate without burning it or having it seize, then go for it. Quality of chocolate really matters for this recipe, perhaps more then any other chocolate recipe I've used in awhile. Don't go cheap or you'll regret it. In fact, Disney has a contract with a certain chocolate company that they use for their chocolate work, a company that also has a store in Downtown Disney... Again, can't say the name here because this recipe isn't featured at their establishment, but I have made some marvelous cookies for this blog that come from the same spot if you need a hint... Anyway, they're expensive, but for sure the best way to go if you can find them in your grocery store. ~~~~  °o°  ~~~~ Read the full article

[yooniesim]

Is there like a link I can go to to see what is going on with all this drama? I see so many people posting about it but no one seems to lay out the whole story, just the bits and pieces they feel are pertinent.

Okay, buckle up for this one, kids. I can’t give my personal perspective for all of it, since a lot of this happened while I was on hiatus, but I’ll do my best to link what I can. I’ll split between past and present, because Mack constantly likes to say that people only bring up her past and “old views”, when there’s definitely more concerning details than that.

The “Past” (within the last two years at most):

You can find all the receipts for Mack’s previous transgressions on the blog @mackisakaren. It includes the voting for Trump twice and then defending it incidents, as well as perspectives from Mack’s former friends. Almost everyone that comes into contact with her winds up denouncing her, either because of her past actions or how she conducts herself to them later. One of her former friends came into my inbox recently to explain a little more about that. I’ve had at least 10+ anons from black simmers that said she’s displayed microaggressions and talked over them, not acknowledged their concerns and blocked them for disagreeing with her, etc. I haven’t posted them all yet, but you can check my anonymous and mack3030 tags if you’d like to find some. 

But for the account I linked, the highlights include:

the aforementioned voting record

laughing at harrie being called “shiny wig” (anti-black sentiment)

defending voting for trump a second time because biden “creeps on little kids” (alt-right rhetoric ripped straight from pizza gate 4chan conspiracies) and doesn’t have it together mentally (as if Trump isn’t a self-admitted rapist with more than a few screws loose- Mack called him a “playboy”)

saying that she only regretted voting for Trump after the Jan 6 insurrection

claiming that people putting “labels” on each other is the reason we have so many “-isms and -phobias”

You can also take a look at this post by @/anachrosims, who was previously a good friend to Mack. Mack claims that she hates politics and “both sides”, which is often the route that previously conservative, educated white people take when they feel being Republican isn’t socially acceptable but they still agree with those types of ideals (either “fiscally” or socially). Her friend Texas also claims that she voted for neither Trump or Biden and that both sides are the same, which first pinged my radar as a clue that Mack truly hasn’t changed. Having a neutral or enlightened centrist mindset is unacceptable in an environment where entire groups of people are losing their human rights, being imprisoned, or killed. As anachrosims says, there is no seeing the “other side” when that side wants minorities to disappear. People that use this talking points are immediate red flags for me, because it’s often a cover for their true nature. I also want to make note that the post where Mack tried to “both sides” the issue was only from 3 months ago.

Anachrosims also made another post about how she and the others that were anti-paywall denounced Mack for her past and response to the criticism. I want to emphasize this because all the people claiming that Mack has done all the work for the “movement” and is the only reason it exists are wrong. Although I wasn’t here to witness it, everything I’ve seen indicates that it has always been a collaborative effort within those in the community, and there is no reason to hold Mack up on a pedestal without acknowledging the hard work of everyone else involved. Also, the person Anachrosims took the statement from there, Bucky? That publicly denounced Mack for her voting record and behavior? I’m pretty sure that’s the same Bucky she constantly refers to as the person that was attacked by perma-paywallers with transphobia and was pushed to suicide attempts twice. The fact that she constantly mentions this in her posts while the person involved is no longer online here and publicly made a post against her disgusts me. How dare she blast that all over the internet constantly when the person involved wants nothing to do with her. It’s gross and no doubt triggering and extremely performative.

But let’s move on now.

The Present (within the last month):

Now, my limited interactions with Mack started when I tagged her in this post as a reference for someone that had been doxxed by perma-paywallers. Promptly after, a user started replying on my miiko post about Mack being racist. I asked for receipts because I had no idea who Mack was at this point other than being a person that was doxxed. Mack had come into my DMs at some point to ask me a question, and later on I had messaged her about Miiko in order to have her added to Mack’s red flag creator list. So, when I posted this, Mack defended herself in the replies of the post and came to me to chat about it more. I showed sympathy to her because the person in my replies was very aggressive, and as someone that also grew up in the South surrounded by racism and brainwashing tactics at every turn, I wanted to believe that she had changed. We exchanged stories related to the election and I tried to be as kind as possible.

After talking to Mack and considering the receipts carefully, I decided not to interact with Mack as a precaution (and courtesy to anyone that had been hurt by her) and removed any reference from her from my blog. I wanted to give her a chance to show that she had changed, but I didn’t trust her either. I was going to organize my thoughts better in another post, but EA’s policy update happened then and everything blew up. So, I didn’t really think about it again until the next incident.

I made this post denouncing Mack because I witnessed the harassment of @/gyarutrait and @/saruin by Mack’s friend @/texasthegreatdestroyer. Texas was harassing them because they had blocked Mack because of her past racism, all of it was 100% in her defense. Previous to this post, I had DM’d Mack asking her to get Texas to back off because it was unacceptable for her friend (who she was still DMing and associating with) to be saying ableist and transphobic things to defend her and it needed to stop. Mack told me that she needed more time to think of what to say in a post about it, and to give her time to do so. Over a week passed, and although Mack was active and making posts throughout, she still said nothing. Texas was still harassing @/gyarutrait, to the point where she had to make multiple posts about it, and so I made my post about it. Notably, @/gyarutrait was given proof by Texas that Mack had told Texas her username, knowing Texas’ way of “handling conflict”, more or less sending her after her. Mack made a throwaway post about not being responsible for Texas’ actions and posted a screenshot of Texas in her block list. Nothing else was said or addressed.

At this point, Texas continued to make long, aggressive rant posts about myself and Dreamie. Dreamie had to make another post asking for people to please report Texas’ posts. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t deal with, but I noticed very quickly that Texas (on anon) was making disgusting references to my terminally ill family member that I had only spoken about in DMs to Mack and nowhere else on this site. The only way Texas could have known that is if Mack told her about it, and the only people the anon could be was Texas or Mack herself. This gave even more weight to the theory that Mack was sending her friend after people purposefully while sharing DMs with her. Texas continued sending me anons until I made this reply saying that she wasn’t shit and I wasn’t going to reply to her lame attempts anymore. Take note that through all of this, Mack was silent. And yet...

Mack made a post chastising the community for staying silent over her own harassment by perma-paywallers. She emphasized people’s mental health being attacked and that people could die. I responded that she had no right to lecture anyone on being silent about bullying when she herself said nothing about her friend that is still harassing and stalking people to this day. After all, how did she know that no one was going to attempt to hurt themselves because of that constant and violating harassment in her name? Mack then quickly... ran to Twitter to call me a clout chaser and manipulator that she had lost respect for as a friend... because I called her out for her hypocrisy. She still hasn’t responded to me directly or done anything besides victimize herself. Apparently she’s still talking about me on Twitter and reblogging from people that agree with her, but I have no interest in chasing her vague posts.

I want to emphasis that I chose to give Mack a very limited chance that she was not entitled to. I wanted to give her the opportunity to show with her actions whether she had changed, since I had not been in the community to see her previous actions for myself, and she made it very clear very quickly in the last few weeks that she has not. I would advise anyone reading to not make the same mistake, regardless of your stance on the paywall debate. Because what I’ve experienced is truly the tip of the iceberg if everyone that has come to me to testify about Mack is any evidence at all. I’ve barely even interacted with her and this is the shit show that resulted.

I hope this answers your question, nonny.

[adlbeay]

I wanted to talk about the themes in the Walk in the Dust event. The story of Arknights has always had a high level of thematic consistency, but it’s especially prominent in this event. I feel like a lot of the discussion of the story in certain places comes down to “lore” and surface-level plot details, so I wanted to get this out there somewhere.

The two big ideas that are covered in Walk in the Dust are that of revenge and the homeland. Let's talk about revenge first. Long post and story spoilers under the cut.

In the beginning, we are introduced to Elliot, aka Passenger, who by the time we meet him, is an aimless husk of a man. He is utterly empty inside despite being the most powerful figure in the Reefsteep black  market, with vast wealth and political influence under his thumb. Having completed his decades-long quest to slay everyone who was involved in betraying his teacher, he has no more goals for his life. After killing  the Lord Ameer of Ibut, the last of his targets, he realizes that the revenge he had been pursuing was ultimately empty, that the weapons he built and the schemes he engineered to that end no longer moved him. Even the death of the Lord Ameer didn't matter one bit in the political landscape of Sargon.

As for the Sargon army... We live in different times now. The ruling  Padishahs simply care not about what is happening here in this barren  wasteland. My guess is that it matters not to them whether it's the  father or the son that's in charge. Actually, to tell the truth, it  hardly matters to me either.

Ultimately, no one cared if the Lord Ameer was murdered or simply  died in an accident, not even Elliot himself. Sargon continues to be exploited by the Columbian military and the ruling Lords. Professor Thorne remains dead. His research, once entrusted to Elliot to prevent  it from becoming a weapon of war, has nonetheless been used by Elliot  himself to bring even more death. Now, 22 years later, Passenger sees  finding Kal'tsit as his only path to salvation, so that she can once  again give him a purpose like she did when she rescued him the first time.

Folinic's mom, Lillia, also shares the same kind of story. Her husband was killed in Chernobog when the count decided to purge the researchers working on the sarcophagus device. Among the children of the families broken up by this incident are Lyudmila (later Crownslayer), Alex and Misha (later Skullshatterer), and Luisa (later Folinic). Lillia finds Kal'tsit after months of searching, intending to take revenge on  Grand Duke Vanya not just for her husband, but also for Luisa, who never got to know her father because of it. Kal'tsit tries to talk her out of  it, even during the final phases of the plan, but Lillia's mind is set.  She entrusts Kal'tsit with taking care of both Luisa and Lyudmila, as  she knows she won't be able to come back to live a normal life after  this. And... she succeeds. Although it is Kal'tsit who ultimately administered the poison, their plan works flawlessly and Duke Vanya is finally dead.

Except it still ended up being completely meaningless. The Grand Duke was in a glorified nursing home already near the end of his life, and if Kal'tsit didn't kill him then some other conspirator from the Ursus  political backstage would have done it anyway. He was already crippled and blind, and as we find out during the confrontation with the Emperor's Blade, even Kal'tsit only agreed to Lillia's plan because it  defused the conspiracies of other powerful figures who would have used  the Duke's death to spark another rebellion. The only thing that Lillia ended up accomplishing was making sure that Louisa would grow up without both a mother and a father, and Lyudmila would never get the answers she really wanted about her family's death. And, although she ended up not doing it, she was even also planning to go back to Chernobog to kill  Sergei, Alex and Misha's father, for his betrayal.

And this carries on through the future outside the event. Crownslayer ends up joining Reunion because she thinks it will give her the answers  she wants and avenge her father. Folinic almost lets her anger at Atro's death get her into a confrontation with Wolumonde. In the end, Crownslayer is stopped by Kal'tsit and Folinic is calmed down by  Suzuran, but we might be able to imagine what would have happened if  they managed to carry out their vengeance.

The theme of homeland is one that's intrinsically tied to Kal'tsit and has at least a bit of relation to the broader story outside of the event. It's harder to talk about since it's not clearly  split into individual stories like previously, but there's at least one character that exemplifies this theme the most: Old Isin.

Old Isin is appropriately to his name, old as rocks. He remembers being a servant to some lord of a long-lost city that very few even know once existed, and spends his time telling fortunes while trying to seek out people who, like him, also share that past. According to Kal'tsit, the city's people were scattered when it was destroyed, and now only Isin even remembers the origin of the name "Reefsteep". Even then, Isin only has vague memories, and believes it to be his unforgivable sin that  he has forgotten so much about the city.

Old Isin originally helps Kal'tsit and Elliot because he hopes that  she can help him remember about the lost city, and thus absolve his  "unforgivable sin". And Kal'tsit indeed does help him. Isin begins to recall the conquests of armies a thousand years ago, something even with  his age he should not have been a part of, much less remembered.  Kal'tsit dispels the illusions clouding his memory, and reveals that  what Isin remembers is only the stories that the padishah recounted to  him, that the glory of his old city was only a memory of another memory. In truth, the city in Old Isin's memory was merely a stepping stone for the padishah's ambition to conquer the uncharted deserts, and was abandoned just as easily when that campaign failed. His homeland's glory was just an illusion created in his mind by the padishah's charisma.

Which brings us to the Emperor's Blade. Wherever he stands is the dominion of the Empire of Ursus. Whatever he does carries out the Ursus Emperor's will. Or at least, that's how the Royal Guards imagine themselves, single-handedly carrying out their homeland's legacy. Kal'tsit lays it out clearly:

Kal'tsit: Tell me, what does the current Ursus Emperor think of the Pine Valley affair? Or do you mean to tell me the seeds of that uprising, the origins of the crisis were all the will of the Emperor? Feel free to keep deceiving yourself, but the truth is the young emperor is unaware of the events that transpired there. You believe he has no  need to know. You... all of you seek a bygone era. You are just caught up in the former emperor's grand vision!

As does Patriot in Chapter 8:

Patriot: I fought with your fathers. Your strength and tactical acumen are no less impressive than theirs. But you look at the Ursus of those times with rose-colored glasses. What you see is nothing more than your wild fantasies.

The Royal Guards are described in not too unclear words as soldiers  who probably believed too much of their own grandiose affect. They are unparalleled fighters, to be sure, but it isn't hard to infer that those words about executing Ursus's will and each Royal Guard being his own nation are words intended to strike fear into their enemies rather than  statements of any real truth. Indeed, if you know anything about the internal politics of Ursus, the idea of "Ursus's own will" can be seen as more of a nostalgia at a bygone era when Ursus was, or at least seemed, united in conquest under the previous Emperor. The perceived glory of their homeland is what motivates the Emperor's Blade, but like with Old Isin, the truth behind it is shaky at best.

We also have the contrast between the retired veteran at Pine Valley  and Grand Duke Vanya. While talking to Witte, the veteran cuts off one of his own fingers, claiming that the scars he has suffered in Ursus's wars, once considered symbols of his glory and honor, were ultimately meaningless, and he wants this self-inflicted wound to be his only legacy to Ursus. At the same time, the Grand Duke is postulating about how the seeds he had sown in the winter would give birth to beautiful flowers. Even though his actions and the crimes he committed never bore fruition, he is convinced even in death that Ursus's soil will bloom.

The issue of a real or imagined homeland, and its loss, is also  shared by the Sarkaz as a whole not only in this story but in the main story and many other events. It's even arguable that Rhodes Island's mission to help the Infected was originally inherited from Babel's goal of establishing a stable homeland for the Sarkaz. After all, as pointed  out in many places, the Infected and Sarkaz share much of the same discrimination.

Sarkaz Mercenary: Home...? How could us devils... us Infected possibly have one... Kal'tsit: The Sarkaz have tried to rebuild 'Kazdel', their home for centuries, though they have never succeeded. Everyone has a different idea as to what the term 'homeland' means, but as it stands right now,  Kazdel is perhaps as close as you can get to the term's original meaning.

And in Twilight of Wolumonde:

Armed Infected: We’re going home? To what home?

Mudrock: Kazdel. There may be no place for Sarkaz outside of Kazdel.  But in Kazdel, there is a place for you. Not because of tolerance. But because there is... nothing there. Kazdel... is where the homeless go. A land of rootless people.

So what does all this have to do with Kal'tsit?

In the ending cutscene, Passenger asks Kal'tsit whether this "Rhodes  Island" is yet another passing persona to be used to accomplish a goal and discarded when it's complete. Like the persona of the Trusted  Advisor, or the Servant, or the Laterano Cleric, will she abandon Rhodes  Island as well? Kal'tsit initially puts up a front saying he has no  right to ask, then bluffs about having thousands of answers, but is pushed by Passenger saying he'll even accept a lie. In one of the only times we get to see Kal'tsit faltering, she actually has no answer to this.

Unlike the other characters we see throughout the story, Kal'tsit has no homeland. No matter how fake or illusory it is, Old Isin and the Royal Guard have something to believe about a place where they can belong. The nobles in Victoria, as incompetent as they appear from the outside, are dedicated to defending the peace of their home despite having no ruler. Even the ostracized Sarkaz can ultimately go back to Kazdel, as unpleasant as that might be. But while Kal'tsit wanders the earth to keep the homelands of others from falling into chaos, she has no homeland of her own to go back to.

In one of the trailers for Chapter 9, we hear a recording from Theresa, addressed to Kal'tsit: "I hope this Rhodes Island can be a place to call home, a place you can always return to."

[five-rivers]

Danger First

Chapter 2

Heya @pocketramblr. I have no self-control.

.

Izuku expected his anxiety to subside, one way or another, once the exam was over.

As always, the universe set out to prove him wrong.

Home was more or less okay. But, for some reason, minor household repair issues started to bother him so much he spent the rest of weekend working on them

Then there was school, which was even more hellish than usual, despite being exactly the same as it had been since the sludge incident. Izuku was way too aware of how much of a threat everyone there was to him, specifically. Especially the teachers.

His hypervigilante state did keep him from getting poked (smacked) quite so much by the teachers, or cornered by 'fellow' students quite as much as usual, but it also led him to hide in the library storage room. He'd never be able to look at the librarian the same way again. Not knowing she kept multiple copies of books by anti-quirkless hate groups on hand.

And all through the week, he got nothing but silence from All Might.

But the end of the week came, and with it a letter from UA, which told him-

.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FIRST PLACE?"

.

"I don't know, Nana, Banjo makes a good point."

"Don't take his side just because he was your predecessor. You all know a One for All holder would never resort to such devious- Yoichi, why are you making that face?"

"In an unjust world, bribery can be a tool for justice. I'm sure Eighth didn't have to, though."

"That's it, I'm not talking to any of you anymore."

.

"Anyway," said All Might, wiping blood from his mouth and glancing nervously at the other beachgoers. "Congratulations, young Midoriya."

Izuku felt his lip wobble. "You're not mad that I couldn't use One for All?"

"Not at all! Actually, in some ways this might be better. We'll have some time to experiment privately. And if you're in school when it finally turns on... well, we'll just say you're a late bloomer, alright?"

"Okay," sniffed Izuku, rubbing his eyes. "I just... I couldn't use it. What if-"

"Hey, hey, it's alright, my boy. No need to cry. You passed the entrance exam without using a quirk at all! You should be proud. Even with a quirk, it's an incredible accomplishment. Also, just so you know, I had nothing to do with the selection process. Just in case you were worried about favoritism."

Izuku sniffed and nodded.

.

"What a strangely specific denial."

"Uh, Banjo, usually I'd be reveling in the chaos, but I think Nana is seriously considering ghost murder right now. Maybe you shouldn't insult her kid anymore?"

"You and Hikage would protect me, right?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd sell you to Satan for one corn chip."

"So would I; it's been way too long since I've eaten. As long as it is Satan and not All for One, you've got my blessing."

.

"You certainly proved this old man wrong."

"You aren't old," protested Izuku.

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that," said All Might. "Here, sit down with me," he said, settling on the sand.

Izuku hurried to follow suit, and for a while, they both just watched the ocean. It was nice, today.

"I owe you an apology, young Midoriya."

"H-huh?"

"For what I said on that roof," said All Might, "and for what I... implied later."

"You already apologized for the roof, though?" said Izuku, confused. "I mean, that day..."

"That's what I'm talking about," said All Might. "I shouldn't have- The way I apologized, when I offered you One for All... It was like saying that you couldn't do it without a quirk, that you needed a quirk to 'fix' yourself and... well, obviously I was wrong. Quirk or not, you're going to be an amazing hero."

.

"Oh," said Banjo, "I can already tell this is going to be a problem once he finds out about Danger Sense. Gonna blow a hole right through his confidence."

"Maybe he won't find out?" suggested Nana, who'd wrestled her murderous impulses into submission. Temporarily. "Danger Sense is pretty low key."

"I feel like I should be offended..." said Hikage. "But if I got offended, that would be offensive to people who don't have quirks..."

"I don't know," said En. "If someone insulted your legs by saying they were so skinny it was like they weren't even there, would you being offended be offensive to people who don't have legs? Or would the original statement be the offensive one?"

"Somehow, I feel more offended after that."

.

"Oh," said Izuku. He felt himself crying again. "Are you, um. You're not going to- Are you- Do you want it back?" he whispered. "One for All?"

"No, no, of course not. You... There's no one I'd rather have it. I'm just... even if you didn't, you could be a hero. But I'm hoping... I'm hoping you'll keep it."

Izuku swallowed and nodded. All Might awkwardly raised his arm.

"Do you mind if I...?"

"Sure?" said Izuku, not entirely sure what he was asking.

All Might put his arm around Izuku and gave him a sort of sideways hug. Izuku leaned into it. It was the safest he'd felt since the entrance exam.

Because, surprise, surprise, that anxiety hadn't gone away.

"What did you say?"

"Oh! Uh... it isn't important, it's nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing," said All Might, concerned.

"I, well, I, ever since the entrance exam... maybe even a little bit before? I've been really... jumpy? About everything. I think it's just because I'm a wreck, but..."

"Huh. Well, you know, that could be a facet of One for All."

"R-really?"

"After I got One for All, it seemed like it was easier for me to tell when people were in danger and needed help," said All Might. "S- A friend who knew about One for All used to joke it was my original quirk. But it was subtle and intermittent, not constant."

"Huh," said Izuku. "So... it might have been One for All all along? Trying to get me to help people?" He picked at his lower lip. "Maybe... I noticed a bunch of stuff I usually don't... I'm not sure I would have seen all the people in trouble during the exam."

.

"So much for not noticing-"

"His confidence... let him have it for at least a little while..."

"He seems to be taking it alright," said Yoichi, hopefully.

.

"I'm sure you would have helped them if you did notice, regardless," said All Might, "and that's what was really being measured, so my earlier point still stands."

Izuku nodded. "It would be really strange for a quirk to have two completely different applications like that."

"Yes, but One for All is a rather strange quirk, and I've seen odder split quirks." He fell silent for a moment. "I can't think of a way to test for it, though. Speaking of which, we should find some time to try and work on One for All before the school year starts. How do you feel about coming to UA after school?"

.

"Th-thank you for helping us with this, Recovery Girl!"

"It's no trouble, dear," said Recovery Girl. "I'd be here at this time, anyway. You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork I have to go through. Just try not to break too many bones."

Izuku nodded vigorously, still somewhat in awe of being in the presence of not one but two incredible pro heroes. And at UA.

It was like living in a dream.

Except for the highly suspicious mostly-hidden wall panels and the very intense feeling of being watched through camera by an incredibly threatening being. It was fine.

"Alright, young Midoriya! Are you ready?"

"Y-yeah!"

"Then come at me, you zygote!"

.

Nana stared at her (former) student in despair. "Toshi... why... out of all the people..."

"So, you admit he can make bad decisions-"

"Bad and immoral are two different things."

"I think calling people zygotes is pretty immoral, actually..."

Silently, Nana agreed.

.

Izuku blinked at All Might- not because of the zygote thing!

... Okay, partially because of the zygote thing.

But mostly because he was still in his skinny, prone-to-coughing-up-blood form.

"Are you sure?" Izuku asked. "What if I..." he trailed off, blushing. What he was about to say sounded so stupid, and more than a little conceited, but...

"Hey, even like this, I'm much tougher than I look, young Midori- Ahem, I mean, zygote!"

"Toshinori, don't you think role-playing as Gran Torino is a little much?" asked Recovery Girl.

"Ah, do you think so?"

Recovery Girl shot All Might a truly terrifying look, but Izuku's mind was on something completely different.

"Is- is Toshinori your name?" he asked, awed.

Blood drained out of All Might's face, making him look more skeletal than usual. Should Izuku not have asked? Was it supposed to be secret? Oh no...

"Please tell me you haven't been training this boy for most of a year without him even knowing your name."

"Oops?" said All Might, faintly.

.

"He did do that, didn't he?" asked Yoichi, his eyebrows almost touching his hairline. "Nana, your boy is a disaster."

"All of us were disasters. We're still disasters."

"I'm not."

"Hikage, you spent most of your adult life living in the woods, completely isolated from humanity."

"I know, it was great."

"Unbelievable."

.

"Back to what we were talking about before," said Mr. Yagi (Mr. Yagi! Izuku knew All Might's name! And had permission to use it!) after Recovery Girl was done scolding him. "Focus on actually hitting me before worrying about accidentally hurting me. Today, I just want to get a baseline. Next time, we can work on basic punches and throws."

"So, do I just-?"

"Yep, just come right at me!"

.

The next hour consisted mainly of Izuku being thrown bodily into various padded surfaces. Despits this, according to Mr. Yagi, he was much better at dodging than expected. As a bonus, although he certainly felt sore and bruised, he didn't break any bones.

He also didn't manage to activate One for All. Not even a little bit.

Nor did he on any of the other days leading up to his first day as a student at UA.

.

Aizawa Shouta, down two nights of sleep and dreading the new batch of bright eyed hero hopefuls he'd be teaching- and crushing the dreams of- next week, glared blearily at a computer screen. Currently, it displayed a student's name, a quirk name, and the single least helpful quirk description he'd ever seen. Which was saying something, because he'd seen Hizashi's original quirk description.

Midoriya Izuku

Quirk: undetermined

Description: None.

I am either too tired or too sober to deal with this, decided Shouta. However, sleep simply wasn't on the table, and getting drunk was illogical. In that case, simply not dealing with it was the only option.

Nevertheless, he picked up his phone and called Nezu.

"Good evening, Aizawa!" said the internally chipper maybe-rodent. "Or should I say good morning?"

"Midoriya Izuku."

"Ah, you're browsing your class list, I see. Any thoughts about their potential?"

"Illogical." It would be, to make a call about a student's potential without meeting them first.

"Quite so!"

"Midoriya. Quirk," grunted Shouta, reminding him why he was calling.

"Ah, yes, he is a strange case. He's listed as quirkless in the registry."

That woke Shouta up, just a little. He'd seen a handful of documents for the quirkless over the years. If Midoriya was quirkless, his file should read N/A, not undetermined.

"What?"

"I have reason to believe that he might have been diagnosed in error," said Nezu. "I am still investigating. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you kept an eye on him. Assuming, of course, that he isn't expelled!"

Shouta grunted and hung up. He minimized the window on his computer and pawed through his files until he found the entrance exam video for Midoriya.

A kid who passed the UA hero course practical entrance exam either entirely quirkless or with a subtle, stubborn, or invisible quirk on rescue points alone. A kid who seemed to run straight for danger on purpose (mostly on purpose, Shouta amended after seeing him collide with the invisible girl, coincidentally pushing her out of the way of some sort of water pressure quirk. There was just no way he could have known she was there). A kid who had almost certainly faced brutal quirk harassment since the time he was four and most likely possessed the self-confidence and trauma to match.

"Least he's good at dodging..." muttered Shouta. He rubbed at one grainy-feeling eye and pulled his sleeping bag closer around his shoulders. Kid wasn't all that bad at falling, either. Some light martial arts instruction, maybe?

He paused the video and reopened Midoriya's file, flipping to school and admission records and exam results. He usually didn't look closely at this part of the file, it was enough for him that the students passed, but, exceptions...

Speaking of exceptions, Midoriya's file was a mass of contradictions. Unusually high written test score that didn't correspond with middle school grades. Dozens of citations and black marks on his disciplinary record that should have kept him from even being invited to take the exam, but a letter of recommendation from All Might.

He frowned at the last one. There was no way...

He shook his head, and clicked on the link at the bottom of the file. It brought him to a herotube video about a year old. A hostage situation with a vaguely familiar middle schooler and slime-like villain. Also, a bunch of heroes, but none of them seemed to be addressing the suffocating child. Shouta felt his lips curl. Even if this was in the past...

Then Midoriya Izuku ran into the frame and tried to pull the other boy free, just seconds before All Might arrived and punched the villain so hard it started to rain. Then the video ended.

Alright, then.

Shouta's admittedly currently-less-than-razor-sharp mind presented him with two possibilities. One, Midoriya was All Might's secret child and All Might had bribed Nezu into letting him take the exams despite his less-than-stellar records. Two, this child had, with bloody fingernails, managed to claw a single spark of luck out of an otherwise bleak existence by impressing All Might enough that he got Nezu to ignore the otherwise damning records.

If the first, well, he had still passed the practical without use of any obvious quirk. He probably had some potential.

If the second... Shouta had been a hero long enough to recognize the circumstances that drove people to desperate, and sometimes unforgivable, acts. Dangling a single hope in front of someone only to snatch it away at the last minute...

Forget the maybe-quirk. This was the real conundrum of Midoriya Izuku.

The rat knew he wouldn't expel Midoriya with these stakes. It would be the height of irrationality.

(Even if he did turn out to be All Might's kid.)

What a pain.

He flipped through a few more profiles, quickly reviewing 1-B as well, before hitting redial on his phone.

"Calling again so soon?" asked Nezu with a squeaky chuckle.

"I want Monoma." He paused. "In my class," he elaborated.

"Oh? Whatever for?"

"If I'm going to have to figure out Midoriya's mystery quirk, I want to make it as easy for myself as possible."

There was silence on the other end of the like, and Shouta checked to see whether or not he'd hung up accidentally. He hadn't.

"I must say," said Nezu, finally, "I had not considered that solution. Depending on the mechanics of Monoma's quirk... I cannot think of any reason to deny your request."

That was a strange way of phrasing it.

"We'll exchange him with Bakugo, in that case."

"Not that I'm complaining," said Shouta, "but why him? Why not..." He racked his memory. "Mineta. He's got one of those body part quirks Kan likes."

Nezu chuckled again. "Normally, I would pick Mineta, but, by my calculations, a classroom that contained both Monoma and Bakugo would be demolished within thirty minutes of their arrival."

Shouta groaned. Why did they even let people like that in?

No, wait, he had an answer to that, actually.

"Forget a mouse, a dog, or a bear," said Shouta. "You're a sadist."

"Some certainly think so! But one thing's for sure! I'm the principal!"

.

The door to class 1-A sure was big... and intimidating... and radiating a faint sense of malaise. But, then, Izuku's middle school classroom had done far worse, so...

He opened the door. No Kacchan. Thank goodness. He must be in the class B, then, because there was no way he'd let Izuku beat him to school.

The strict boy from the entrance exam was there, though, and, oh, dear, he'd noticed Izuku and was coming right for him.

(Oh, gosh, and the invisible girl was here, too. He felt himself blushing furiously.)

Still better than Kacchan.

"Hello!" he said, rather loudly. "I'm from Somei Private Academy! My name is Iida Tenya!"

"Oh, uh, I- I'm from Aldera Middle School..." said Izuku. Was stating the name of your middle school a normal thing? He hadn't read about this in any manga... "I'm Midoriya Izuku."

"Pleased to meet you!" He moved his arm in a rather robotic fashion, taking a deep breath.

Oh, no, was he about to yell at Izuku again?

.

"Danger Sense isn't even going off right now, Izuku," said Yoichi, despairingly. "Why are you still so nervous?"

"Maybe we never really gave him Danger Sense after all, and it was his natural anxiety the whole time."

"Please stop denigrating my quirk."

.

"Midoriya... you... you perceived the true nature of the practical exam. Meanwhile, I was blind! I misjudged you! I hate to admit it, but you were the superior candidate."

Oh, that was nice, but... "I didn't perceive anything, though. I had no idea rescue points were a thing. I was mostly just trying not to die."

"Ah! That curly hair! It's Midoriya!"

"Oh! Um, Uraraka?" Please, please, let him have remembered her name right.

"Yeah!" said Uraraka, smiling brightly.

Augh! Too cute!

"I'm so glad you're in my class! I was so worried I wouldn't know anyone here."

"Y-yeah. T-this is Iida, by the way," said Izuku, trying to get attention off of himself.

"Nice to meet you, Iida."

"It's nice to meet you as well, Uraraka!"

"Yeah! So, we've got the entrance ceremony and guidance sessions today, right? I wonder who our teacher will be- They're all supposed to be pro heroes, right?"

"Um," started Izuku, "that-"

"If you're here to socialize, then get out."

.

"That's a teacher, huh," said Yoichi.

"Why are you saying that like you've never seen one before?" asked Banjo.

"I've seen teachers before," said Yoichi. "I've seen all of your teachers. The ones you've had while you had One for All."

"Okay, now you're saying that like you've never had teachers."

"Yeah, that is kind of strange, Yoichi," said Nana.

"I had professors," said Yoichi.

"Still weird."

"I went to college. And med school."

"Did you graduate?" asked En, interested.

"No."

"Why not?"

"My brother kidnapped me, kept me in a vault for a while, and then I died."

"I didn't know what I expected," said En, shaking his head.

"Wait, weren't there several years between the vault and the whole dying thing."

"Yeah, but I'm ignoring them."

"Because?" Banjo hooked his thumb over his shoulder at Second and Third.

"Yep," said Yoichi.

.

"Todoroki. You were the highest scorer on the Recommendation Exam. See how far you can throw this ball with your quirk. Stay in the circle. Anything else goes."

A boy with white and red hair stepped forward, scowling faintly. He took the ball and stared at it.

"Time is valuable, Todoroki."

And then there was a glacier.

Izuku felt his jaw drop. How was he supposed to compete with that?

.

"My name is Monoma," said a blonde boy, offering his hand.

Izuku stared at it a moment before remembering handshakes were a thing.

"Midoriya," he said.

Monoma then offered his hand to Uraraka and Iida as well. "I look forward to experiencing UA's superior brand of education with you," he said.

Izuku laughed nervously. "You're confident," he said, glancing at the track where two others students were doing sprints. It would be their turn soon.

"But of course!" Monoma struck a sort of pose, fingers splayed out on his chest. "I welcome this sort of challenge, this opportunity to prove myself! It just goes to show, UA only accepts the best of the best!"

Monoma was called away to the starting line a moment later. "Two good, one dud," he mumbled under his breath.

What did that mean?

Then Monoma was at the starting line, and he was using Iida's quirk. Did he have a copy quirk? That was so cool!

... Is that what he meant by good and dud? Did he... did he see that Izuku didn't have a quirk? Oh, no... What if he told everyone? Even if people were being nice to him now...

"What's wrong?" asked Uraraka.

"U-um," said Izuku. "Nothing?"

.

"Oh, gosh," said Yoichi, crying. "I just want to wrap him up in a warm blanket. You deserve friends."

"Yeah, kid, it'll be okay," said Banjo. "Bakugo's just a freak. And so was your whole school. Place gave me MLA flashbacks."

"Sure glad they aren't around anymore," agreed En.

.

All in all... Izuku didn't do terribly. Especially given that he didn't actually have a quirk, and this was a quirk assessment. At least, he didn't think he did. At least, he hadn't tripped or hurt himself.

It had, in fact, been a rather good day. No Kacchan. No bullies. The teacher had clear standards and requirements, and he stated them up front.

He had been getting... bad vibes... from the short, purple-haired kid, and he'd noticed other people frowning at him, especially the girls. But he hadn't been able to put his finger on why, even though he had been watching him carefully during his turns.

Other than that...

UA really was the best.

"By the way, no one's getting expelled. It was a logical ruse."

Monoma raised his hand.

"What is it?"

"I must object!" said Monoma.

"You... want someone to be expelled?"

"In fact, I insist! To allow this to continue would blemish the reputation of the school."

"Well said, Monoma!" exclaimed Iida. "Living up to the reputation of UA and all the alumni who have come before us is a duty of us students! But what blemish are you talking about? Surely, as Mr. Aizawa said, we all went plus ultra!"

"Maybe so, but my concern has more to do with moral standards!"

"If you kids keep going like this, I'm just going to go to sleep. You're giving me a headache."

Izuku caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and a wave of unease went through him. He turned to see-

"Hey! What are you doing?" he demanded, shocked and more than a little horrified.

Once again, he was mortally embarrassed on behalf of the invisible girl.

"I wasn't doing anything!" said the small purple boy.

"You were looking up her skirt!"

"It isn't like there's anything to see!"

The invisible girl gasped and quickly moved away. "Gross!" she said. "That's terrible!"

"See? See?" said Monoma, wildly. "This is what I'm talking about!"

"Next time," said Aizawa, "get to the point faster. Time is valuable. Mineta."

"What?"

"You're expelled."

"What? You can't do that!"

"Go complain to Nezu."

UA really was the best.

"Midoriya."

Okay, never mind. He was doomed. Completely doomed.

"Monoma. I want to talk to you after class. The rest of you are dismissed."

Midoriya stood nervously as Uraraka and Iida bid him goodbye. Was this it? Was Aizawa going to expel him after all? At least it wasn't in front of absolutely everyone... But what was Monoma doing here?

Speaking of which, Monoma looked nervous, too... Was he okay? Surely, Aizawa wasn't going to expel him, too.

"Is this about me using other people's quirks?" demanded Monoma. "Because you said anything goes! I wasn't cheating. You can't expel me!"

Oh. There was some trauma there. Izuku could tell. Did people make fun of him for his quirk?

"I'm not going to expel you," said Aizawa, looking up at them from where he laid in his sleeping bag in the grass. He almost looked like he was praying for patience. "I need to ask you some questions about your quirk. For future reference and to better serve your needs as a student. I know how tricky meta quirks can be."

"Oh," said Monoma, slightly deflating. Then he sent a curious glance at Midoriya. "Is he-?"

"His matter is slightly more sensitive. If you would like me to send him away while we talk, I can do that."

"No, no, it's fine." Monoma sniffed, his eyes suspiciously wet. "What's the question?"

"You copy quirks through DNA contact. Do you decide when to activate passive quirks you copy, or can you choose?"

"I can choose, as long as it's within my time limit."

"When you first make contact, can you tell what quirk a person has?"

Monoma shook his head. "No, sir, I have to activate it to do that, so I can get duds- oh, that is to say, quirks I can't use because I don't have the proper activation conditions, like Midoriya's. He's got some kind of stockpile. I can get duds without realizing it. But I can tell whether or not someone has a quirk."

"Were you able to test all your classmates' quirks today?"

"Not everyone, yet," said Monoma. "I usually try to avoid more extreme mutation quirks outside of controlled conditions."

Aizawa's head bobbed up and down minutely. "Great. That should be enough for now. You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir! I look forward to seeing your superior lesson plans tomorrow!" He paused. "Midoriya."

"H-have a good day, Monoma."

Monoma had felt One for All! What a relief. Izuku had been half worried he'd lost it somehow.

But why did Aizawa want him?

"Um, sir?" he asked. Sort of asked. 'Sir' alone wasn't a question, even if it was said in an inquisitive tone.

Aizawa's eyes turned red, and his hair started floating. Izuku felt... Huh. Calmer, somehow? He was no longer vaguely aware of how the light post over there could fall on him, or any of the other many minor dangers surround him and oh, gosh, he was no longer aware of the dangers! How was he supposed to stay safe like this, when he felt like he'd been blindfolded?

Aizawa blinked. Everything came back.

"Wow," said Izuku. "That was so cool! Was that your quirk? Is it an emotional quirk? It made me feel calmer at first, but then I was, I don't know, too calm, and it made me anxious, but then-"

"Problem child," said Aizawa, and Izuku froze at the reprimand. "What I just did was erase your quirk."

Erase?

His quirk?

"Oh my gosh! You're Eraserhead! I'm a huge fan!"

Aizawa closed his eyes. Was he counting? No? Did he fall asleep?

"You do know you're listed as quirkless, right?"

"Yes?"

"But you just had a reaction to my quirk that a quirkless person definitely should not have."

"O-oh?"

"Combined with Monoma's ability to sense your quirk, I'd say you are not, in fact, quirkless."

"But I have the toe joint?" Izuku wasn't sure why he'd said that. He shouldn't be arguing against this, because, as Aizawa had said, he did have a quirk. It just wasn't exactly his.

"Yeah, that's an old wives' tale."

"Really?"

"As real as my quirk counselor license. Whoever diagnosed you was a quack."

"O-oh."

"My initial impression from your entrance exam video is that you might have a sensory quirk of some kind. On the other hand, we should take Monoma's assessment into account, and consider stockpiles. Either way, I would like to schedule some time to test things out with you."

"You- You'd do that? For me? I mean, I don't want to be a bother-"

"This is literally my job."

"It... yeah, I guess so." His previous teachers would have considered it a bother. Except Mr. Yagi, but Mr. Yagi wasn't really a teacher. He was more of a... a mentor.

(Or a dad.)

(Oh, no, he did not just think that. Bad. Bad brain. Bad brain that read too much All Might RPF as a pre-teen.)

"Besides, even if your quirk doesn't have many applications in hero work, it will be useful for you to know what it is and how it affects you." Aizawa yawned. "Also, don't tell your class that I'm Eraserhead."

"O-okay," said Izuku. "Of course, sir, but... why?"

"I have two full time jobs. I get my entertainment where I can. You can go now. We'll schedule tomorrow."

Izuku nodded, and Aizawa just... zipped his sleeping bag the rest of the way closed and rolled over.

Was... was he just going to go to sleep here? In the middle of the field.

"Um? Mr. Aizawa?"

A grunt came from the sleeping bag.

"This is... isn't this kind of a dangerous place to sleep?"

"Go home, problem child."

"... okay."

[theroyalsims]

BREAKING: CLIVE HARLOWE FINALLY BREAKS SILENCE, ISSUES OFFICIAL STATEMENT RELEASED VIA THE BRINDLETON BROADCASTING COMPANY

Several weeks after his name was first dragged into a controversy of royal proportions, Clive Harlowe, Princess E’s former personal aide and ex-flame finally broke his silence via an official statement.

The Brindleton native sent a written statement to the Brindleton Broadcasting Company, which was then first publicly aired during last night’s evening broadcast. The rather lengthy statement is reproduced in its entirety below:

“In light of recent events, I would like to once and for all set things straight. So many lies have been said, so many half-truths passed off as facts, and in the process, people have been left hurt and relationships shattered in its aftermath.

 In the Autumn of last year, I fell in love with a wonderful woman who is not only beautiful, but brilliant, generous, and kind. We were together for some months, however, when the public found out about our personal relationship, the both of us, including our respective families were bombarded by abuse from the public and the media. Things became so bad, that we both realised the danger that has befallen us. While she and her family are well-equipped to deal with the public scrutiny, my family and I, however, are not. 

My parent’s cottage in the country and their small bakery were vandalised. They were tailed by photographers on a daily basis. Overnight, our small village was taken over by reporters and photographers, hoping to catch any story about me, my past, or my family. My girlfriend was also put under extra scrutiny, which pained me since she has worked so hard for so long to prove herself.

I realised that this cannot go on. I spoke with my girlfriend, and we agreed to let each other go for a chance at peace and quiet. I loved her very much, and I still do, and every day, it hurts me that we had to make that decision for the sake of our families’ happiness. I also decided to leave Brindleton, in the hopes that things would go back to normal, especially for my parents. There was no fight. There was no drama. We parted as friends with fond memories of each other.

My former employers heard of our decision to separate, and of my decision to work abroad. Out of the kindness of their hearts, and their sheer generosity, they gave me a good reference and helped me find a good job in my field of interest. They also helped me apply for a scholarship - which I eventually got by passing multiple examinations and interviews. Like everyone else who resigns from a job, I also received the remainder of my salary of which I was due. I found a small flat which fit my income. I do not own it. I pay a monthly rent, which I get from my salary. There was no money. There was no ‘gift’ flat. There was no bribery.

I am dumbfounded as to where and how the rumours began. I am a private person; a nobody - an ordinary bloke from Brindleford. My parents are simple people who live in the flat above their small bakery. I just happened to work for a powerful family and fall in love with a public figure. With that, I suppose comes all the intrusion and loathing. I don’t deserve this. The woman I love does not deserve this. And more importantly, our families do not deserve all this hate and unwanted attention. As much as I would’ve liked to remain quiet, I am left with no choice but to finally say my piece, since my silence was initially construed to be ‘confirmation’ of the vile rumours, which could not be further from the truth.

So now, I would like to offer my humble and deepest apologies to all the members of The Royal Family, especially to Her Majesty The Queen, His Royal Highness Prince Jacques, and to Her Royal Highness The Crown Princess who have shown me nothing but kindness, generosity, and understanding from the very start.

Finally, I also want to apologise to Her Royal Highness The Princess Eleanore. I should have done more. I could have done better. - because God knows you deserve only the very best. I also want to thank Her Royal Highness for giving me an opportunity to love and be loved in return. 

-Clive Harlowe”

The statement is expected to be the “final” word from Clive, who has since refused any interviews, follow-ups, or even calls for more comments from the press. Rumour has it that the young man has also denied several offers to write a tell-all book as well as a 7-figure deal for an exclusive primetime interview with a certain media mogul and TV host.

(Above: A poker-faced Clive was seen earlier today leaving a coffee shop near his office. After releasing a lengthy “official” statement to the Brindleton Broadcasting Company, the young man has since refused to comment on the issue any further.)

Clive has also gone back to his usual job in Windenburg after reportedly taking a week-long leave from work, perhaps to lay low and let things quiet down a little.

However, despite the seemingly clear statement from Clive, there are still those who claim that the statement was “coaxed” out of him by either The Queen and/or Anya to help with the current situation, especially since both royals have seen a decline in their popularity over the past few weeks.

Do you think this statement is sincere or does it seem fishy? You be the judge!

[jackoshadows]

One of the things that totally baffles and frustrates me in the asoiaf fandom is the fanon that Sansa is smarter and more diplomatic than Jon and Dany.

How can anyone read the books and come to the conclusion that Sansa is more diplomatic than Jon and Dany? On what basis is this comparison made? Jon and Dany are military leaders and rulers respectively who have successfully negotiated from disadvantaged positions. What is the equivalent of this for Sansa?

These are the issues that Dany faced in Meereen -  olive trees burned down, winter on the horizon making agriculture disadvantageous, former merchants and slaves with no money and a blockade on Meereen by surrounding regions. Jon has 19 decrepit castles on the wall that he has to refit and rebuild and get ready and he has no money, food or men to do this. What is Sansa’s more smarter and diplomatic tactics to deal with these issues?

What is his tax policy? How does he feel about crop rotation? How does he handle land disputes between two nobles, both of whom think that they should have the village, so they burn it down to establish their claim. This is the hard part of ruling be it in the middle ages or now. It’s not enough to be a good man to be an effective ruler. It’s complicated and it’s hard and I wanted to show that with repeated examples in my books with my kings and hand of the kings - the prime minister if you would - trying to rule. And whether it be Ned Stark or Tyrion Lannister or Tywin Lannister or Daenerys Targaryen or Cersei Lannister trying to deal with the real challenges that affect anyone trying to rule the 7K or even a city like Meereen and it’s hard. You know, we can all read the books or read history and say oh, so and so was stupid and made a lot of mistakes and look at all these stupid mistakes they make. But these kind of mistakes are always much more apparent in hind sight than when you are actually faced with the decision about, oh my God, what would I do in this situation. How do I resolve this thing? Do I do the moral thing? But what about  the political consequences of the moral thing? Do I do the pragmatic, cynical thing and kind of screw the people who are screwed by it? I mean, it is HARD. And I want to get to all of that - GRRM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJCb3xyWyAg

Where has Sansa dealt with the above issues to make a determination on how she would do better than Dany? Or even do better than Cersei for that matter?

Here is GRRM talking about how frustrating it is that he was not able to compare Daenerys and Cersei as rulers in ADWD:

His biggest lament in splitting A Feast for Crows from A Dance with Dragons is the parallels he was drawing between Cersei and Daenerys.  

Cersei and Daenerys are intended as parallel characters --each exploring  a different approach to how a woman would rule in a male dominated,  medieval-inspired fantasy world.

GRRM, SSM,  July 08, 2007  

George regrets that Cersei and Dany will not be contrasted directly.   He likes the extra breathing room to flesh out the characters. Bran  didn't have any chapters and Dany's ending was different. Now he likes  the way she ended. I think he actually may be doing more with Dany.  

Comic-Con (San Diego, CA; July 20-23)

Where has he talked about contrasting Dany and Sansa? Or Sansa and Cersei? Where are the parallel leadership arcs for Dany and Sansa or Jon and Sansa like there is for Jon and Dany in ADwD?

Jon Snow has negotiated a loan with the Iron Bank, Dany agrees for peace with Yunkai by marriage with Hizdahr and Sansa managed to persuade an eight year old to eat his dinner. How are they even compared at the same level?!

It took an entire book and Ned Stark losing his head for Sansa to realize that the Lannisters were not the good guys. Despite the Lannisters doing increasingly evil things like ordering Sansa’s pet wolf killed. Her younger siblings like Arya cottoned onto that in their first chapters. Sansa then thought that beautiful, charming Margaery was simply the best and the Tyrells ended up using her. She thought Dontos was a good guy. In the Vale, she is pushing the Maester to do what LF wants with respect to SweetRobin. How is she smarter than Jon, Dany or the rest of her siblings? It’s this weird changing of canon in the completely opposite direction. Take the least smart character among the youngsters in the books and make them the smartest in fanon.

I know the show is responsible a lot for pushing this piece of fanon, when Benioff, Weiss and Cogman stripped book Jon and Dany of their leadership arcs and tried to hand them off to Sansa to prop up their favorite character.

But what’s baffling is the so called asoiaf book experts writing about stupid Jon and smart Sansa. About psychopathic assassin murder baby Arya and clever, measured leader Sansa, about ignorant, impulsive Dany and calm, compassionate, hope for the future Sansa. The thing is, no one knows on what basis and metrics they come to this conclusion. It just is. There are no detailed essays comparing Jon and Sansa’s leadership arcs, or Dany and Sansa’s arc of being rulers. But Sansa is still somehow more intelligent and diplomatic.

It’s also connected to this rather sexist strand of thought that only women who wield soft power are smart and level-headed. Tyrion is the only male character allowed to be smart and women who wield hard power like Dany or gnc characters like Arya and Brienne are impulsive, arrogant and ignorant.

In some ways I can see why this has happened. A lot of fandom want Sansa to be special in some way and have an important role to play. And since her narrative story arc is with Littlefinger, she is assigned to be the SMART one. But to be special, she has to be the only smart character.

Plus, Sansa has progressed the least in her arc compared to her peers. She’s a blank slate on whom her fans can project their desires and wishes for her character. The show did something similar - only D&D were too lazy to come up with something original and gave her Jeyne Poole’s story.

But still, there has to be a basis for such statements about the book characters.  It’s not just enough to keep repeating that Sansa is the smartest ever - like ultimate hacks D&D did on the badly written garbage show did. They were rightly laughed at for their ‘Sansa is the cleverest person’ dialogue. But for some reason such statements are accepted for the book version.

The books are well written with gradual character development. Surely, if Sansa is smarter than Jon and Dany we should read that in the books? That this fanon has literally become canon despite not having any basis at all in the books is one of the most frustrating aspects of asoiaf fandom.

[boldlyanxious]

Malchance

Jasonette July prompt 19: mistakes

Prompt applies to the beginning

Final part of Cocorico

My masterlist

Malchance sat on the roof overlooking the roof where Nightwing and Red Hood had been engaged in a fight for several minutes. They either knew each other's fighting style very well or they were evenly matched. She should have brought popcorn. Red Hood got a lucky hit before Nightwing could dodge and managed to lift him up by the back of the neck.

She dropped down behind them, losing sight of the lovely double view of them from behind when Red Hood turned to face her. Nightwing broke away from the hold while Red Hood was distracted. Malchance walked up to them carefully swinging her cat tail around, seeming relaxed. She was not relaxed. She had escaped one only to be nearly caught by the other so she was definitely on her guard.

"You were right about Black Mask. He is a nasty piece of work."

"See I tried to protect you from him."

"You kidnapped me."

"I told you it was temporary. You were a guest and I let you go."

"I escaped and then was immediately chased by him."

She pointed at Nightwing who had been watching them argue.

“I have so many questions. You kidnapped her?” Nightwing looked over at Red Hood when he asked that but then turned back to Malchance. “What is going on with Black Mask? That is what I was trying to find out before but you ran off.”

“I don’t remember any questions. You just started chasing me and then got out your cuffs.”

She sauntered over and winked at him, but looked back over to see Red Hood’s reaction. As she approached, she moved her hand to her staff in case she needed to make a quick get away. She couldn’t see Red Hood’s face to gauge his reaction but he had tensed. She laughed at them.

“You cuffed her? You aren’t trying to tell me we are after the same girl are you. I think she is warming up to me.” He took a step toward her.

“Maybe I am. I was even thinking about holding your hand.” She looked up at him seductively through her long cat eyelashes the suit gave her and whispered. “Cataclysm.”

She brushed her hand against a discarded box on the rooftop and the men watched it disintegrate and both of them took a step away when she turned back to them and reached out her hand.

“What are you?” Nightwing asked.

“Finally getting to some interesting questions. But I don’t answer interesting questions.”

“Why are you dealing with Black Mask?” Red Hood asked, changing the subject.

“Bonus points to you for bringing us back to the topic of the day.”

“What do I get with my bonus points? I might want to cash them in.”

“You destroyed my business. You will never get enough points to get yourself out of the hole.”

“I feel like I’m missing a whole lot of history here, and I’m definitely curious. But Black Mask. That seems to be the issue to focus on right now instead of your weird version of flirting.”

“Jealous?” Red Hood said.

Marinette ignored them and instead explained her actual purpose for being in Gotham and her former business. She omitted plenty of details that were more sensitive in nature but was able to give them an overview of the magic that was at the core of Gotham and how she thought Black Mask was utilizing it. She would not be able to stop him all on her own as she had found out in her dealings with him. He had too many people working for him that may not be loyal to his goal but still supported the goal of removing her from the picture. She was more offended that he tried to kill her instead of paying her what he owed.

“So you what, need our help to take him down?” Nightwing asked.

“Yes. If he harnesses this magic it would hurt the balance of the whole world. Gotham is surrounded by the miasma but it would extend far beyond that.”

“So you just want us to trust you? There is a system. You haven’t even been vetted.” Nightwing argued.

“I don’t need your approval. My authority spans far beyond Gotham and far beyond your plane of existence. You are inconsequential.”

She turned away from him when she was finished and Red Hood followed. She glanced back at him and he didn’t seem to be making a move so she just stayed vigilant in case that changed.

“I’ll be in touch,” she told him.

“Wait, can we talk?” Red Hood asked.

She motioned with her head and jumped away; he followed. They crossed several rooftops and made sure they were not being followed by anyone, Nightwing included, before Marinette led them to a rooftop that felt surprisingly calm for Gotham. You couldn’t hear the noise from the street or the docks and no sounds of fighting. It was like a calm in the storm. It was her favorite place to hang out when she needed to get away from everything.

“What did you want?” she asked.

“To apologize.” Red Hood said. He paused for a moment and removed his helmet. She could see his hair and facial features but his eyes and the surrounding skin were still covered by a lensed domino mask. He reached out for her hand.

“I’m listening,” she said.

“I guess it’s not enough to say I need to apologize, I actually have to follow through.”

“That is how apologies work.”

“I’m sorry. I should have handled the threats against you differently. It would have been better if I had convinced you to come with me.”

“That is your apology? You are not admitting the mistakes.”

“I mean I’m sorry for kidnapping you.” It sounded more like a question than a statement.

“It wasn’t just the kidnapping. You didn’t trust me to handle my own affairs and you ruined my business."

“I still have plenty of business for you. You gave up on it. Also, clearly something happened with Black Mask so maybe I was right.”

“This is the worst apology ever. The biggest mistake was listening to you at all. I’ve changed my mind, I don’t need help, not from you.”

“Just hold on a minute. You are twisting everything. It was my fault that anyone was after you. Someone made a joke about me flirting with you and word got out. I just wanted to take responsibility to make sure that you didn’t suffer because of it.”

“Maybe employ fewer gossips and don’t flirt with everyone you meet.”

“I employ at least one less gossip, and I don’t flirt with everyone I meet. It just happened with one person. There is a reason it was noteworthy gossip worth making such a large bounty for.

Malchance turned back to him and watched him without responding. He did appear contrite. Usually she would have a sense of someone to know whether they were a danger to her. She thought it just didn’t work with him because she never felt in danger. She may feel adrenaline or nervousness but it hadn’t tripped her internal sense of self preservation.

She stepped towards him and kept watching him. He looked down at her and she could tell he was making eye contact before he took off his mask. Her eyes searched his, looking for answers she was too afraid to ask. She reached up and pushed the shock of white hair away from his face. He closed his eyes as her fingers slipped through his hair. Her hand slid down to his cheek and she finally spoke.

“Why me?”

"Because I feel like you see me how am, and you don't recoil. There is attraction; you are gorgeous. But more than that, I feel drawn to you."

He stepped close and cupped her face. She was suddenly remembering his measurements and exactly how she felt being close to him to take them. She couldn't keep meeting his eyes. She looked away.

"I'm not sure what you see is actually there. I'm just a broken person with a mission to complete."

He lifted her chin to have their eyes meet again. She closed her eyes for the moment. His thumb brushed across her jaw before he dropped his hand and shuffled his feet. She looked back at him, but sure what she felt.

"I can get Nightwing and Batman to help take care of Black Mask."

"You and Nightwing were just fighting. Batman is one of your enemies. How does that even work?"

"We have to play by their rules but it sounds like this is a threat to us all. We can get along for a moment and fight later."

"I did not agree to anyone else's rules. This is my mission and I'm not just letting them take over."

"I should clarify. I meant his no killing rule. It's a restriction for me that I doubt changes things for you."

"It doesn't. I won't work harder to protect the life but I won't attempt to take lives."

"That should be close enough. Can we meet here in one week to discuss details?"

She nodded her assent. She was turning to go when he stepped towards her. She allowed him to turn her face slightly and put a gentle kiss on her cheek. She reached out and squeezed his forearm slightly. She tried to pass it off as a comforting gesture for him rather than to keep herself from melting off her feet.

---

It was the day of the planned assault on Black Mask’s operation. As far as Cocorico could tell they were at the location of the magical manipulation. Groups of Red Hood’s militia were prepared all around to breach but right now Cocorico was gathered with Red Hood and Nightwing to discuss the final details. It was all going as expected until Batman showed up and Cocorico suddenly wondered if this was a good idea. Red Hood and Batman were clearly far from okay with working with each other. Cocorico thought they might kill each other before the battle even started. Batman stepped towards Red Hood so Hood had removed his helmet and was stepping right back in some display of aggressive dominance.

Cocorico would not allow them to ruin her plan. She had gotten them to help a few weeks ago but she had been working toward this for almost 2 years and she wasn’t going to let them ruin it. She pulled Red Hood away and turned to scold Batman but she had pulled Red Hood too hard and when he spun to adjust they both stumbled towards the wall. Just before her head connected with the wall Red Hood slipped his hand behind it. Her back hit the wall and she looked up at him as he was suddenly pressed against her. His other hand had planted against the wall and he was pushing back, probably to continue his argument with Batman.

It was just a thought. She wasn’t planning to do anything about her errant thoughts about Red Hood. She had a mission and she had worked hard to have no distractions. But their eyes met for that brief second and she couldn’t bear to have him turn away. She grabbed the front of his jacket to turn him back toward her. She told herself she just wanted to see his eyes again but without thinking she moved toward him. He was shocked when she kissed him but he recovered quickly. He pressed her back into the wall and kissed her back. It was desperate and brief. Being interrupted by Batman clearing his throat. If looks could kill Red Hood’s would have killed Batman in that instant that Cocorico pulled away.

“For luck,” she said and reached back up to put a peck on his cheek.

“I could use some luck,” Nightwing said.

Red Hood’s eyes narrowed at him but Cocorico responded before anything else happened.

“Batman is right there,” she pointed at him. “Pucker up.”

That effectively ended any further comments about luck or kissing. Red Hood put his helmet back on and Cocorico took a moment to merge Orikko and Plagg as added protection during the battle. Then they moved in.

It was far longer than they expected before anyone noticed their presence. They had fully infiltrated the building before anyone sounded the alarm. Chatcorico thought that must be due to the training of the militia. They had found guards but they were neutralized, brutally in some cases, but they were still alive per Batman’s insistence.

She was shocked by the glow over the compound when they reached the hub. It was otherworldly. She stumbled under the weight of the magic that hit her. Red Hood turned to her in concern. No one else seemed to be affected. She could feel it though. It was not only the ancient sorcery of the city. There was miraculous magic here.

Whatever they were planning was going on now. They paused while everyone gathered at their appointed locations. Chatcorico looked around to decide how best to proceed but what she saw caused her to jump into action and charge out without alerting anyone. Black Mask was there as well as an unknown person bound at the center of all the activity. She was on her knees with her hand bound behind her and a gag in her mouth. In front of her was Black Mask walking towards her with a knife.

That was all bad for the person, which they would endeavor to protect when the assault began but she saw more. There was something in front of them that was drawing in all of the ethereal light seeping from somewhere below. Marinette didn’t know what they were trying to accomplish but she knew it would be bad. She rushed Black Mask from behind. He turned just as she reached him and knocked her over. She used her kite to block. But he didn’t have time to keep after her Red Hood was already behind him.

Chatcorico saw the rest of the group moving in to attack but she focused on removing the bindings from the woman. She undid the bindings on the hand first and then focused on the ones binding the feet together. The woman pulled the binding from her mouth and immediately transferred guardianship of the box to Monk. Marinette remembered that he was the guardian she had met in New York. The box seemed to shed the magic that was attempting to infect it and then floated up. It seemed to mask itself as it exited the building. Chatcorico assumed that it would go to the new guardian of the box, as had happened when she gained the guardianship. Then woman in front of her would have no memory of it.

The battle was long. By the end, they had claimed the building but Black Mask retreated and got away along with many of his men. Those left were behind she suspected would be arrested. Red Hood had his crew filtering out quickly. There was nothing to say they would not be arrested too when the time came. She didn’t expect that Batman’s generosity to work with the man would extend to keeping him out of jail when the time came. The partnership was very limited.

She started to get concerned that the same could be said of her own partnership with him. She was an unknown and she could tell he didn’t trust magic users. He knew enough to suggest a couple other magic users who he trusted enough with the magic seeping out. That didn't seem to include her and she wasn't sure she could handle it anyway. It had become clear that her involvement was to recover and protect the miraculous magic and the former guardian. She could leave the woman to their questioning.

She released Orikko, who had been active longer and she would have an easier time traveling as Malchance. She nodded at Batman and Nightwing, giving them no chance to stop her before she scooped up the woman and vaulted out of there. She took her to her apartment and left her sleeping in the spare room. She would have to find out about contacting the new guardian soon. The order would have some way to care for the woman who lost her memories to the cause.

Malchance would return to her shortly but she had to check. She landed on the roof and as she suspected Red Hood was waiting for her there. He looked up and watched her land and walk toward him. He stood and reached out for her. She was shocked at how right it felt to go into his arms. Maybe it had been too long since she had allowed herself to form any connections. She didn't want to bother with the 'why' of anything tonight. She just craved the connection. She knew it wasn't love and probably wouldn't last. Maybe he only liked the chase and maybe she didn't care. She pulled him down and kissed him. The only thing that mattered was it was right now.

Taglist

@jasonette-july-event | @theymakeupfairies | @emjrabbitwolf | @vixen-uchiha | @trythisagainlove | @trippingovermyfeet | @tbehartoo | @adrestar | @zynna

[joontopia]

Summer in December | KTH

pairing:  kim taehyung x reader        ↳ hufflepuff!taehyung x slytherin!reader

rating: nsfw, 18+

genre: hogwarts!au, friends to lovers!au, fluff

warnings: mild angst (?), reader is a little whiny about the weather (im so sorry idk why i did that), mentions of alcohol consumption, some cute hand holding, sweet kisses

word count: 4.7k

a/n: this is my secret santa gift to the lovely @sly-merlin​ for @kafenetwork​ Holiday Treat event! I hope you enjoy this! It’s been so fun getting to know you the past weeks! ♥️🐧 penguin

Also, thank you to my lovely soul-twin-mate @escapingreality4now​ for reading over this and editing it for me. you the bestest and i love you so much *smoochies*. And thank you to @kimtaehyunq​ for helping me fix my banner issue last minute, i appreciate you and love you!

Rain. That is what has been falling from the grey, cloudy sky for the last three days. Cold, pelting droplets of evaporated water are what you have shared your days with during this cold winter. Not the beautiful, white fluff that was promised in the forecast. Not the very weather that you stayed at school for over winter break instead of going somewhere summer-y with your family. No, that would just have been too perfect. Sitting at your table at the Three Broomsticks, you let out a sigh as you stare out the window, elbow perched on the table as your chin rests in your hand. It was nearly four in the afternoon, though you couldn’t tell by the vacancy left from the sun in the sky hidden behind darkened storm clouds. When you agreed to stay as one of the prefects on duty, you were hoping it would come with days spent playing in the snow. Building snow people, and having the occasional snowball fight. Not trudging through mud puddles and slipping on hidden ice patches. You nearly slip into another day dream when you’re interrupted by the barmaid approaching your table. 

“What’ll it be, dear?” The barmaid asks, a bright smile painted across her face despite the dreary atmosphere set by the disappointing weather.

“Oh um, two butterbeers, please,” you order as you sit up in your seat, trying your best to return a cheery smile as bright as hers. She lifts her brow at you with twinkling curiosity and a hint of laughter in her eyes.

“Terms that bad this year?” She asks with a teasing smile. 

You giggle, appreciating the light lift of the mood as you join in on the jest, “No, just the temperament of the weather.” You both let out a soft chuckle, your smile matching hers slightly more realistically with the slight change in mood. “I’m actually meeting someone, they should be here soon. They’re not both for me.” As if on cue, you both turn to the entrance at the bell chime of the door, signaling a new customer. Standing there was your friend and fellow Slytherin prefect, Ohria, searching the bar for where you sat. Once she spots you in the corner by the window, she waves and smiles, walking toward you with her cheeks rosy pink from the cold outside. 

“No judgement here, dear. Just poking fun. I’ll have those right out for you two,” the barmaid says as she turns back to you. She gives you a light pat on your shoulder and a wink before walking back towards the bar, nodding her head in greeting to Ohria as she makes it to the table, sitting in the vacant seat across from you. You sit back in your chair, smiling at your friend as she starts removing her scarf in coat.

“Sorry, I’m late! Had to make sure Joonie had everything he needed for the next two weeks packed and ready to go. For how smart that man is, he sure can be forgetful,” Ohria rolls her eyes in feign annoyance, the shy smile and blush of her cheeks giving away her true feelings of adoration for her boyfriend. “He’s meeting me here when he’s done if that’s okay. We’ll be leaving in the next hour or so.”

“No worries, it’s fine. I can’t believe you’re going to be visiting Korea. Leaving me here with the sleet and rain while you get to go build your snow creations of your future children with Namjoon.” Your bottom lip pushes out in a pout just a little as Ohria sticks her tongue out at you. You were happy for her, really. At least one of you will get to enjoy some snowy fun during the holiday break. 

“Oh come on, cheer up. I’ll be back before you know it and so will the snow. Besides, Joonie told me a certain Hufflepuff prefect is staying during the break as well. Maybe that can preoccupy your time before I get back, hmm?” Ohria teases you as she wriggles her eyebrows. 

You feel your cheeks warm, knowing the exact Hufflepuff prefect she was referring to. A one very handsome and tall Kim Taehyung, your classmate and longtime crush. You spent the better half of this school year innocently flirting with one another, enough to make you wonder if he felt and cared for you the same way you do him. You smile as you look away from Ohria, watching as the barmaid approaches with your drinks, placing them in front of you. You thank her before turning and continuing your conversation with, “As wonderful as that would be, I highly doubt Taehyung would want to spend the majority of his winter break with me.”

“Oh, please. He practically can’t keep his eyes off of you when you’re near each other. The both of you really. Just ask him. Besides, what else would there be for the two of you to do here but hangout with each other?” Ohria says before taking a drink, her last words more of statement rather than a question. 

You let out a little sigh, knowing there was no sense in arguing her point. You grab your drink, taking a sip as you ponder her words for a moment. “I suppose you’re right. But how do you suggest I even ask him? I wouldn’t even know where to start to find him. Just show up at his common room door and wait until he leaves?”

Ohria hums in contemplation before turning to look out the window, smiling slyly at whatever caught her eye. “Looks like you won’t have to,” she says nodding her head towards the window causing you to turn and take a look yourself. 

There walking past the window and towards the front door was Namjoon and Taehyung, the former holding his wand up as a clear light emits from the tip, forming into a makeshift umbrella for the two men. You feel your cheeks flush again as Ohria turns in her seat, waving the two boys over to your booth. You look up as they make it to the table, smiling as you make eye contact with Taehyung. You notice his cheeks are colored with a rosy hint as he returns a smile to you. You try to not think much of it, using the cold weather outside to be the cause. Ohria stands up from her seat, greeting her boyfriend with a kiss before sliding into the empty seat next to you, the two boys taking up the seats across. The barmaid approaches again, taking the boys order and returning again shortly with two more mugs of butter beer.

“Dreary weather, isn’t it?” Namjoon asks, breaking the silence before taking a big drink from his glass. Everyone nods as you hum in response, finding it suddenly hard to form words with Taehyung sitting across from you. You’re not sure why you find it hard to speak to him this time, always joking and conversing during the school year. Maybe the possibility of some possible time alone has you feeling slightly off your game. 

“How are you, YN? I hear you’re also staying here during the break,” Taehyung asks, softly smiling as he waits for your response. You smile back, lips beginning to part in response when Ohria jumps in and answers for you instead.

“Yes, she is! Sadly, I’m leaving her all by her lonesome for a while,” she says with a pout, wrapping her hands around your arm and laying her head on your shoulder. “You’ll take good care of her for me, Taetae, won’t you?”

You give Ohria a little pinch on her thigh and she lets out a tiny squeak, letting go of your arm. She lightly swats your arm before scooting away from you, Namjoon looking at her curiously as Tae shoots up an eyebrow and chuckles.

“It would be my pleasure. What do you say, YN? Mind keeping me company during the break?” He gives you another boxy smile and you smile big in return.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” you manage to squeak out, nudging Ohria with your elbow as she starts to giggle again next to you. 

Namjoon jumps in, talking about the plans he’s made for him and Ohria once they get to Korea. Taehyung throws out his own suggestions and you add your own commentary here and there, easing you and your friends into easy conversation. Before long, another hour has passed. Namjoon looks down at his watch before announcing his and Ohria’s time to go. Everyone stands up from the table, leaving tips and payment on the table for the barmaid before walking towards the door. 

Ohria turns to give you a hug before Namjoon begins helping her back into her winter coat. “If you need me, I’m only an owl away. I’ll be back before you know it. Promise me you’ll enjoy yourself?” 

“I promise,” you tell her. Waving to her as she follows Namjoon out the door, blowing you a kiss before it closes.

“Mind if I walk you back to the castle?” Taehyung asks you, wrapping his scarf around his neck as he looks down at you. 

You nod your head and smile, grabbing your winter coat off the hook on the wall. Taehyung reaches and grabs it from you, catching you by surprise. “Let me help you with that,” he says as he holds it open for you. You give him a shy thanks as you slip it on. He rubs his hands down your arm once it’s secure, his hand slightly brushing yours as he moves around you and opens the door. You were happy to see a break in the rain fall, allowing for the walk back be a little less treacherous in the cold. 

“So what would you like to do this break?” You ask, looking up at the tall man walking next to you. 

“Hmm,” he hums, puffs off transparent smoke coming from his mouth as he breathes out into the cold air. “I got a few ideas. I can run some by you now and we can discuss it over breakfast in the morning?”

“Sounds good,” you say with a smile. Taehyung smiles back at you as you both fall into another easy conversation on your way back up to the castle.

Rain, again.  You can’t see it, the sleeping quarters of the Slytherin dungeons lacking windows, but you can hear it hitting the ground above. And it’s coming down hard. You roll out of bed, your movements sluggish as you get ready for the day. You make your way into the common room, stretching your arms in the air as a yawn overtakes you. The room is nearly vacant. Only a pair of 2nd years hanging out on the couch sharing their collection of wizarding cards with each other. The door swings open, Yuta walks into the common room, looking around the room until he spots you and smiles. “Ah, Y/L/N. Perfect timing. You got a visitor outside.” 

You tilt your head to the side, wondering who would be coming to see you when your memory hits you. Your promised breakfast with Taehyung. Your eyes go wide as your cheeks heat up and you quickly make your way to the door. “Ah, yes. Thank you,” you say as you give a quick smile and wave to Yuta. He lets out a snicker walking past you further into the common room. 

Once outside, you see Taehyung leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, head tilted down towards the floor. When he hears the wall covering the door to the common room open, he looks up, blinking the tiredness out of his eyes. His boxy smile takes over his face when he sees you.

“Good morning,” he says, his low baritone dripping from his mouth like honey as he walks over to you. He gives you a quick hug, a kiss landing on your check right before he pulls away. You feel your cheeks warm again, a big smile forming on your face as you begin to walk side by side towards the dining hall.

“Good morning,” you squeak out. You clear your throat, your voice still hidden behind your own sleepiness. “How did you sleep?” 

“Not bad. Rain helped lull me to sleep. The smell of breakfast from the kitchen woke me up. How about --”

“Watch out!”

You both stop quickly in your tracks from the shout coming from a sideroom to your right. A white wisp in the shape of a dolphin zooms in front of you, dissipating into nothing as it crashes into the wall on the other side. 

“Sorry about that!” You turn to the doorway of the sideroom. Your classmate, Jimin, stands there rubbing the back of his head with one of his hands. A sheepish smile on his face as he looks at you and Taehyung.

You let out a giggle as you smile back. “It’s alright, it looked harmless. What were you doing with that dolphin though?” 

“Ah, I’ll show you. But you gotta keep it a secret, okay?” Jimin waves you two into the sideroom and you both follow him. There in the empty room, you see an oversized snow globe. Colorful wisps of smoke inside swapping from shapes of hearts into waves of water.

“I was trying to get that dolphin into here. It’s a Christmas gift for my girlfriend, Tina. I’ve been struggling with Charms class this year and she’s been helping me out. Her patronus is a dolphin, so I figured this would be something she’d enjoy.” Jimin waves his wand in the air, a new cloud of wisps spout from the tip, once again forming into a dolphin. He flicks his wrist, the dolphin successfully jumping into the water of the snow globe this time as he turns to you and Taehyung and smiles. You both clap your hands in applause as he bows, his eyes disappearing from the wide smile on his face when he stands straight.

“That looks awesome! I’m sure she’ll love it!” Tae praises.

“It’s really cute, Jimin. You did great!” You smile at him as you start to turn back out of the room. “We were just on our way to breakfast if you wanted to join us.”

Jimin shakes his head, smiling the whole time from your praises. “I’m going to work on this a bit more, but I’ll see you guys up there. Thanks!” He gives you a wave goodbye as you and Tae walk back out of the room, continuing your way towards the great hall.

Your first full day spent with Taehyung was wonderful. Something you needed to help take your mind off the mundaneness that has been the winter weather. It’s the next morning. You once again find yourself in the great hall, sitting across from Tae and Jimin as they are both talking animatedly about the last quidditch match that took place before the break. Your eyes are on Tae, watching the way his adam’s apple bobs up and down as he speaks. The way the soft curls of his hair bounce just slightly when he laughs. He flashes his boxy smile, the sight of it taking you back to the day before. 

After breakfast, you had both played a few rounds of wizard’s chess. You won every game but the last, finding the pout Tae gave you every time he lost was too cute for you to go easy on him. After each loss, he would jut out his bottom lip, begging you with matching puppy dog eyes for one more rematch. Only stopping once he finally came out the victor.

You spent the rest of the afternoon walking through the courtyards of the school grounds. The rain seemingly subsided for the day, leaving little puddles of water scattered on the ground. Finding a dry bench, you sit down next to Tae. He took the chance to entertain the two of you by charming the puddles, using droplets of water to create figure skaters that would glide across the surface or little fish and dolphins hopping back and forth across the puddles. You couldn’t help your giggles, how your eyes lit up in fascination as the figures danced across the water. You remember looking over at Taehyung, how your breath caught in your throat at the way he was watching you. His eyes warm with adoration as his signature boxy smile graced his face. You wonder if it was your hopeful thoughts playing tricks on you, the way it seemed like he was leaning in towards you. The moment being interrupted by the sky once again falling out. You were remembering how the warmth of his hand felt in yours as he pulled you to run for cover when the sound of your name pulled you from the daydream.

Back in the present, you notice Tae and Jimin looking at you expectantly. You blink owlishly at them, slight embarrassment creeping in as you realize you have no idea what they asked you. “S-sorry, what was that?” you stammer, looking down at your plate to hide your blush as Jimin snickers at you.

“Lunch at The Three Broomsticks and then afterwards we do a little walking or shopping. What do you think?” Tae repeats, a hopeful expression on his face. 

You go to respond when you’re interrupted by excited gasps that fill the great hall. “It’s starting to snow!” you hear someone shout. You look up at the enchanted ceiling, the previously dark clouds now turning a light shade of grey as little snow flurries start to fall. A wide smile grows on your face as you look back down at Taehyung who's already watching you with a smile of his own. 

“Let’s go get dressed,” he says, standing from the table. You follow him, rushing out of the great hall with the rest of the students. Tae turns towards the direction of the Hufflepuff common room, shouting over his shoulder “I’ll meet you back here!” before disappearing out of sight.

You run with Jimin to the Slytherin common room, racing up the stairs to your dorm to dress in something warmer. Your smile never leaves your face, excitement coursing through your entire body. The snow is here. Finally. The weather you have been waiting to see since you decided to stay at school for the holidays finally made its appearance. Dressed in your thick winter coat, you make your way out of the dungeons, walking back to meet Tae in front of the great hall. Once there, Taehyung’s face lights up with another smile. He offers his gloved hand to you and you take it, speeding up to keep up with his long strides as he pulls you to the doors leading outside.

The moment you step outside, you're met with the disappointed grumbles of other students, passing you as they walk back into the castle. Taking a few more steps outside, you turn the corner to see what has caused everyone to be so upset and your face drops. The snow flurries that fell from the sky not too long ago have turned back into cold, icy rain. Washing away any evidence of the snow that had barely stuck to the ground.

“Dang, I knew it was too good to be true,” Tae mumbles as he lets out a sigh, still holding your hand as he stands next to you. You shared his disappointment. Maybe a little too much with how quickly you could feel your mood turning south. You watch the rain, suddenly feeling the desire to be alone. The dreary weather sucking all the motivation for fun out of you. Dropping your hand from Tae’s, you turn back towards the castle to walk back inside.

Feeling the loss of your hand, Tae turns around and follows you. “I’m sorry, YN. I know you’ve been looking forward to the snow.”

You give Tae a soft smile, looking back down at your feet as you continue to walk back inside. “It’s okay, Tae. It’s not like you can control the weather.” Your attempt at a joke at the end is delivered poorly due to your mood. You can tell by the forced smile Tae gives you as he watches you with a sorrowful expression. Once back inside, Tae places his hand on your shoulder to stop you and you turn to face him. “We can still have a good time in Hogsmeade. You still want to go?”

You give him another soft smile, trying your best to make it look genuine. You want to go, you really do. But just the mere thought of spending anymore time out in the miserable, cold rain sinks your mood even lower. You know you would be no fun to be around like this. “I’m actually not feeling too well. Could’ve been something I ate. I’m just gonna take it easy for the day. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

You turn and start to walk away, barely hearing Tae’s “yeah, see ya” as you wave him goodbye over your shoulder. You make your way back to the Slytherin common room and towards your bed, planning on curling up in the warm sheets and hope tomorrow is a better day.

It’s been two days since you’ve seen Taehyung. Only catching him in brief passing at breakfast the morning after the teased snow day. You had every intention to apologize to him for your attitude, feeling guilty for having felt like you took your bad day out on him. Only he didn't give you the chance with how quickly he ran out of the great hall, saying something about needing to speak with Professor Flitwick and that he’ll catch you later. You didn’t see him for the rest of the day. The next day, you didn’t even see him at breakfast, only being made aware of his absence from an owl he sent explaining how he was going to be busy in the library the whole day. You couldn’t help but feel like he was avoiding you.

Making your way into the dining, you see Jimin waving you over, handing you a letter as you sit across from him. You open it, half expecting another letter of avoidance from Taehyung. You were happy to see that it was from Ohria, gushing about her trip with Namjoon to Korea. Wishing you a happy holiday and how she can’t wait to hear how your week has been going. You fold the letter and place it in your back pocket before filling your plate with food. You’re near down with your food when you spot a familiar figure running up to you from the corner of your eye. You turn towards him, standing from your seat as he reaches you.

“Oh, great! You’re here,” he says, grabbing your hand as he starts to pull you towards the entrance. “Come on, I have something to show you!” You stumble a little as you try to keep up with him. As you step into the hallway outside of the great hall, you decide now is as good as time as any to finally apologize.

“Tae, wait,” you say, tugging on his hand to stop him. He looks back at you, eyes wide as he looks at you, waiting for whatever you're about to say. “I want to apologize.”

He furrows his brow, turning to face you completely as he takes your other hand in his. “What? What do you have to apologize for?”

“The other day. I wasn’t in the best mood, and I was kinda rude to you. I just… I didn’t know if that’s why you were avoiding me the last two days.” 

Tae smiles at you. He lets go of one of your hands, lifting his now free hand to push a loose strand of hair behind your ear, causing your cheeks to warm from the sudden touch. “I didn’t mean for you to think I was avoiding you. My absence does have to do with that day, but not because you were rude. Which you weren’t, by the way,” he reassures you, tapping the tip of your nose. Your lips turning up into a smile from the cuteness. “Just follow me, yeah? That’s what I want to show you.” You nod your head, following Tae as he continues to lead you through the hall and out the doors into the castle grounds.

“Tae, wait! I don’t have my coat,” you whine. Tae pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arm around you as he continues to lead you to your destination.

“I know, I got it covered. Just trust me.” 

You go to argue, your words cut short when you see a large dome in the middle of the courtyard. In the dome, you see a cute little forest setting. Snow littering the ground and the tops of the evergreen trees. You’re at a loss for words, only a subtle whisper of a “wow” leaves your lips as you look at the enchanted globe in awe. 

Tae watches you carefully, drinking in the sight of your amazement. He grabs your hand again, pulling you closer to the dome and inside. He smiles at the giggles you let out while you step onto the snow. He commits to memory the beautiful smile that adorns your face with each crunch of your step across the snowy surface. He walks you to the middle of the dome, turning to face you once you reach it. “This is what I’ve been up to the last few days. Trying to learn how to control the weather.” 

You let out a snort at his joke, how he parroted your words back to you. You lightly push his shoulder, a big smile covering his face as he watches you walk around the globe. He pulls his wand out of his jacket pocket, pointing it up at the top of the globe as he gives a quick flick of his wrist. Suddenly, tiny snowflakes start falling from the top of the dome. You look up and close your eyes, smiling when you can feel the coolness of the fluffy ice land on your cheeks. Opening your eyes as you look down, you look back over at Taehyung as you continue to walk around the tiny winter wonderland. “You did this all for me?”

He nods his head, his eyes never leaving you as he watches you explore. “I wanted to see you smile. I love seeing you smile.”

You feel your own cheeks warm at his confession. Suddenly, you feel a little shiver run through your body from the chilly air. “This still doesn’t cover the fact that I don’t have my coat,” you tease as you walk back over to him. 

Tae laughs, shrugging off his coat and placing it around your shoulders. He points his wand back up to the top and flicks his wrist again. The top of the dome turns into the image of a shining sun and you can immediately feel the warming rays as if it was the actual sun in the sky. “Told you I got it covered,” he says as he winks at you. 

You look around, happy to see that the enchanted snow is still intact and not melting, the warming temperature from the charm not having any effect. You hear Taehyung clear his throat and you look back at him, noticing the light blush that now adorns his cheeks. “I learned one other thing,” he says nervously, once again flicking his wand, this time towards the nearest tree. 

You watch as a branch extends out above you, small leaves blooming until a big group of green leaves hangs over the two of you. You examine it, noticing the tiny white and red berries that are scattered through the cluster of green. “Mistletoe,” you breathe out in a whisper. 

You feel Taehyung's hand on your cheek, pulling your face back to look at him. His eyes twinkle with mirth as they meet yours, his lips turning up into a soft smile as he starts to lean in. “I know this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, but I hope it at least made you happy.”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him down, closing the distance between you as you catch his lips in a soft, quick kiss. Breaking apart, Tae leans his forehead against yours as you both smile. “It’s absolutely perfect,” you reassure him, watching as his beautiful boxy smile once again graces his features just before he leans back in locking your lips in another kiss.

[monkberries]

They dealt with all of the above. Ringo was treated as a joke for pretty much everything, especially since this was the era of prog rock. His personal life was also tabloid fodder. George was derided as being a dour spiritual nut who was out of touch. He along w/ Ringo didn't get the respect he deserved as a guitarist bc his style wasn't in at the time & people knew little about his role in The Beatles. All credit went to Lennon/McCartney. 1/2

John had the benefit of having the rebel genius image, but even he became a source of ridicule with all the stunts he pulled with Yoko and the way his career declined after Imagine. He wasn't deified to the degree he was in the 80s. I'm not trying to say Paul never had a hard time, but the way this fandom talks as if he is the only one who faced extreme criticism or disrespect just tells me they haven't looked much into the other Beatles' lives. The man is more admired than most musicians. 2/2

(IDK if this screenshotted anons were from the same person or not, but I’ll just answer them in this one since it’s all the same subject.)

Here’s what I think is valid, as I see it: Paul fans are upset by the way his music was treated by the music press, especially in the first few years of the 70s, while the music of the other three were generally given at least the benefit of the doubt. They’re not upset about the tabloid gossip, the purely personal stuff – they are upset, specifically and with good reason, at the way Paul’s music was treated and the way the music world’s personal dislike of him seeped into their music reviews. I’m gonna focus in on 1970 through the end of 1974, since this is where a lot of the complaints spawn from, and things start to shift in a big way in 74. You didn’t ask but contemporary writings about their early solo music is something I’m fascinated by anyway and you turned the wind-up toy key in my back, so. Off I go. This is gonna be so, so long.

At different points in the decade, all of them were subject to a sullying of their personal reputations. That is where I do agree with you: all of them were subjected to that by the press, to varying degrees, at varying times, and for various reasons for each of them. That is just what happens to public figures the longer they are public figures. Tabloids mess with everyone no matter how beloved they are. 

However, that’s not what I generally see Paul fans getting upset about. What I see is that they’re upset at the way the much more legitimate and widely respected music press approached Paul’s music and talent in general. It is widely received knowledge now that the critics treated Paul’s music differently than they did John’s and George’s and even Ringo’s; the trashing was not “equal.” They came at John and George with the assumption that their talent was real and ongoing outside of the Beatles, their genius unquestionable, their motives pure and well-intentioned and honest. Paul was not afforded these assumptions. Some examples to show what I mean, most of them found through wikipedia, rocksbackpages, or rollingstone.com.

John

Plastic Ono Band was Robert Christgau’s number one album of 1970 in The Village Voice. from Creem’s review: “John's record, of course, has been righteously raved over ever since its release, justifiably. It's interesting and even enlightening to see a man working out his trauma on black plastic but more than that, it's totally enthralling to see that Lennon has once again unified, to some degree, his life and his music into a truly whole statement.” From High Fidelity’s review: "a tremendously exciting listening experience, perhaps the best any Beatle has ever offered." In their Imagine review, Rolling Stone called POB “perfect.” A couple reviews in the mainstream were more mixed, put off a little by the rawness of it, but overall the rock world quickly grew to see this album as a work of genius.

Imagine was even more widely well-reviewed, despite a mixed review from Rolling Stone (John fell out with Jann Wenner around this time, curiously). Here’s a passage from rateyourmusic.com: “Imagine was actually one of the most critically acclaimed albums of the year, aside from this tepid review in Rolling Stone. Indeed, much of the rock press seemed palpably relieved that the former Beatle hadn't gone completely off the deep end. ‘It's the best album of the year, and for me it's the best album he's done, with anything, or with anyone, at any time,’ Roy Hollingworth wrote in the 10/9/71 issue of Melody Maker. ‘The album is superb,’ Alan Smith agreed in the 9/11/71 issue of NME. ‘Beautiful. One step away from the chill of his recent total self-revelation, and yet a giant leap towards commerciality without compromise...I have no criticism at all.’”

Some Time in New York City was admittedly John’s nadir, and the press was vicious about it, both personally and musically, deeming the album egotistical, lacking in energy, and devoid of sincerity. However, many maintained a reverence for the genius that came before it and hopeful encouragement for the future. Rolling Stone said that “The Lennons should be commended for their daring;” Creem said it wasn’t half bad; and even though NME’s article was scathing, it ended with a plea for John to return to form, saying, “Don't rely on cant and rigidity. Don't alienate. Stimulate. You know, like you used to.”

Mind Games, though reviews were mixed, fared far better in comparison. Again, there is a hopeful tone to the reviews, a sureness that John can do better. From Rolling Stone talks about the music being a return to POB form, but the writing is his worst yet; however, Landau qualifies this by saying the lyrics aren’t “offensive, per se, just misguided... [John Lennon’s admirers] might even be able to withstand something more challenging” and then praises John’s voice, his production, and a few individual songs. In Melody Maker, Ray Coleman says, “if you warm to the rasping voice of Lennon and, like me, regard him as the true fulcrum of much of what came from his old group, then like any new Lennon album, it will be enjoyable and even important.” Christgau is more middling but also says, “Still, the single works, and let's hope he keeps right on stepping.”

Walls and Bridges seems confusing to reviewers in retrospect. They couldn’t seem to come to a consensus on it. The musicianship was widely praised, for the most part, though Rolling Stone criticized the first side on this front; reviewers alternately said it was “the latest chapter in John Lennon’s Identity Crisis” (Creem) and “truly a superb album by any standards” (Melody Maker). Throughout the Rolling Stone review, the author is able to thoroughly critique the songs, for better or worse, with a neutral affect and without resorting to insulting John personally. He ends the review on a positive note: “When one accepts one’s childhood, one’s parenthood and the impermanence which lies between, one can begin to slog along. When John slogs, he makes progress.” Again, even though the reviews aren’t all positive, we can see, especially and most importantly in the most influential rock magazine of the time, the acknowledgment of his talent, a sense of excitement for what John will do next, and a belief that his work is authentic and honest.

George

All Things Must Pass, I mean. Apart from a couple of outliers like Christgau in The Village Voice (he called it “overblown fatuity”), it was incredibly, almost universally beloved by the music press when it came out. There was quite a bit of surprise that such a talent had been under everyone’s noses all this time, but I don’t think anon is quite correct that all the credit for the Beatles went to Lennon/McCartney. For example, Ben Gerson in Rolling Stone recognized George’s talent within the Beatles like this: “Up until now, George has been perhaps the premier studio musician among rock band guitarists. From the electronic whine which began “I Feel Fine” to the break in “Hard Day’s Night” to the crazed, sitar-influenced burst on “Taxman,” George exhibited an avant-garde imagination and a technical flawlessness, as well as the ability to stay within the bounds of a song, which has remained unparalleled.” In Melody Maker, the feeling of journalists was summed up thusly: hearing the album was “the rock equivalent of the shock felt by pre-war moviegoers when Garbo first opened her mouth in a talkie: Garbo talks! – Harrison is free!" The personal nature and honesty of the lyrics were praised as well; Time described it as an “expressive, classically executed personal statement.” Ben Gerson did call his proselytizing offensive, but in the next sentence says that George redeems himself from that with the personal plea in Hear Me Lord.

Concert for Bangla Desh - again, some cynicism from Christgau in The Village Voice (must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day) and of course tax issues dogged it later, but overall, for the rock press at the time, this was a crowning achievement that George pulled off. He was praised all over the press, countercultural and mainstream, for his live musical talent, the group of musicians that joined him, the lack of political motivation, the sincerity and goodwill, and George’s ability to bring back  "a brief incandescent revival of all that was best about the Sixties" (Rolling Stone). To this day he is credited with creating the model for future charity concerts. 

Living in the Material World - Nothing could have topped the one-two punch of ATMP and the Concert for Bangla Desh, but honestly, LITMW came pretty close for some journalists. Rolling Stone again praised George’s honesty and authenticity: “ Despite the occasional use of “psychedelic puns,” Harrison’s lyrics are so guileless they convey an extraordinary sincerity that transcends questions of craftsmanship. Similarly, the devotions we are called upon to share with Harrison, though they communicate no specific, private torment, do have the authenticity of overheard prayers and are therefore sacred.” Melody Maker said, "Harrison has always struck me before as simply a writer of very classy pop songs; now he stands as something more than an entertainer. Now he's being honest." The pushback against his pious attitude and lyrics picked up some steam with this album, particularly with Christgau (again) and Tony Tyler of NME, who called it “so damn holy I could scream.” However, it was far from the consensus opinion at the time, and with the biggest rock magazine in the world at your back, you can withstand quite a bit.

Dark Horse, oof. That poor man. It did get some positivity in Billboard and Melody Maker, but my god, the reviews for this album and its subsequent tour were so cruel. I suspect when these anon(s) talk about the others being treated terribly by the press as well, this, along with John’s STINYC, is one of the examples they would give, and they’re not wrong about that. This was the point where George’s piety and what they perceived as a sanctimonious attitude finally started really getting to everyone, and the album plus the tour was the perfect opportunity to dogpile on him. I guess it was to be expected; no one can ride that high forever, and the press loves to knock people over and kick them while they’re down. Rolling Stone called it “disastrous,” “shoddy,” and called his guitar work “rudimentary,” eventually declaring that George had “never been a great artist.” This from the same magazine that was practically worshipping at his feet the year before. Yowch.

Ringo

Sentimental Journey - The less that’s said about this album, the better.

Beaucoups of Blues was actually quite well-received. No one called him a genius for it, and it wasn’t a serious personal record and therefore wasn’t treated that way, but journalists seemed uniquely able to let themselves enjoy this record despite the serious/political/personal tone of most musicians at the time. Melody Maker believed Ringo had  "conviction and charm" and that because of that, the album stripped away the serious “hip posturing” and let you just enjoy the music on its own terms. The Village Voice said that Ringo was “good at making himself felt.” Although Rolling Stone’s tone was a bit more cruel than other magazines (there was a crack somewhere in there that Ringo wasn’t as smart as John), it also called him lovable and the record “a real winner” where the songs “sound terrific.”

Ringo was a total smash and I think people forget this. It’s remembered only because it’s an album that was worked on by all four Beatles, but actually, the critics fuckin loved it. Ringo was praised in Rolling Stone for his unpretentiousness, sensibility, and essentially collaborative nature: “Ringo was always the figure of conciliation within the Beatles, undoubtedly the most genial, conceivably the most sensible, and the one with the smallest musical axe to grind. His very lapses bespoke the esteem in which the others held him; had they not liked him so much, those perfectionists would never have allowed him to sing. Perhaps because as the drummer he stood outside the process of creation, he had the best perspective from which to see the Beatles as a unity. Ringo has never had any pretense of self-sufficiency. Once he had gotten his special projects out of the way (projects for which John, Paul and George's talents would have been unsuited anyway) Ringo was ready to call upon the three most obvious people to assist him with writing, singing and playing. As Starr's first "pop album," Ringo signifies a homecoming, not just of family, but in musical style as well.”

Goodnight Vienna was kind of a minor album for Ringo, but still, reviews were pretty good. Rolling Stone praised his “unalloyed sincerity which is his trademark and trump card.” Yet again, we see the theme of authenticity popping up in these reviews - if you are perceived as authentic, honest, and sincere, that takes you a long way with music reviewers in this time period, and Ringo was nothing if not wholly, completely himself.

Paul

McCartney - One of the main complaints of Paul fans is that Jann Wenner forced Langdon Winner, the author of the review for this album in Rolling Stone, to rewrite his article and put a more negative spin on it. The result is that Winner praised most of the music but totally undermined his own praise by questioning the authenticity of the tone and deriding the press release that came with the album as much as he praised the music. He ends the article like this: “I like McCartney very much. But I remember that the people of Troy also liked that wooden horse they wheeled through their gates until they discovered that it was hollow inside and full of hostile warriors.” This was a huge blow at a time when personal authenticity and substance were considered paramount. Melody Maker also questioned the legitimacy of his genius, saying “With this record, [McCartney's] debt to George Martin becomes increasingly clear.” Most other reviews weren’t any better.

Ram, I mean, Jesus Christ the reviews for this. It’s a widely respected album now, even made the RS top 500 albums of all time list last year, but at the time people were still so angry with Paul for supposedly breaking up the Beatles that they were still taking it out on his music a year later (imo). Landau in Rolling Stone called it “emotionally vacuous” and said it lacked conviction, saying also that it was “so incredibly inconsequential and so monumentally irrelevant you can’t even [hate it]; it is difficult to concentrate on, let alone dislike or even hate.” NME called it “the worst thing Paul McCartney has ever done.” Threaded through these reviews is a belief that the songs are devoid of meaning and that Paul’s happy domestic front is just a frustrating lie; Christgau in The Village Voice said he was “infuriated by the McCartneys' modern young-marrieds image” - infuriated because he clearly doesn’t believe it, rendering Paul dishonest and his music inauthentic. Once again journalists are unable to review Paul’s music without sniping about him as a person.

Wild Life - Though the situation remains largely the same - reviewers refuse to take him seriously, believe anything he says, or treat his musical talent as anything but vacuous fluff - the reviews aren’t quite as bad as they were for Ram and a bit of positivity begins to stir. It’s evident especially in the Rolling Stone review, where Mendelsohn wonders if Paul is making crappy fluff on purpose to piss John off because it will sell just as well anyway. It’s not much, and on top of the fairly strong criticism there is almost no hope for future Paul releases: “My own conviction is that we'd be foolish to expect anything much more earth-shaking than Wild Life out of McCartney for a good long while... In the meantime the reader is advised to either develop a fondness for vacuous but unpretentious pop music or look elsewhere for musical pleasure.” But it’s something.

Red Rose Speedway Paul continues to be lambasted by a lot of the press on this album for being lightweight and having no meaning behind his songs (at this point it’s just repetitive to quote the articles, just trust me that they say basically the same thing they were saying for the past three albums too), BUT I think a nuance that gets forgotten in all of this is that Rolling Stone gave it kind of a decent review. It seems like they finally quit gatekeeping and realized that songs don’t need to have some deep personal meaning to be good. Kaye is still not very nice about Paul’s lyrics but he recognizes that he doesn’t have to take Paul’s music on the same terms as he takes John and George. Paul’s music is less personal, but that doesn’t make it unworthy. He calls it “pleasant, accessible without concentration” and praises Paul’s voice and arranging skills. It feels like for this album, Rolling Stone took the stick out of its own ass when it came to Paul and finally relaxed enough to receive Paul’s music on his terms rather than theirs. Which, imo, primed the rock world for...

Band on the Run, Paul’s comeback. Even though Christgau in The Village Voice remained unconvinced (he called it “a pleasant piece of hackwork”), almost everyone else adored it. It seems weird to us now, but the general sentiment seemed to be that people were surprised by how good this album was. NME said, “The ex-Beatle least likely to re-establish his credibility and lead the field has pulled it off with a positive master-stroke”; and although Landau’s review in Rolling Stone overflowed with praise, he also said, “I'm surprised I like Band on the Run so much more than McCartney's other solo albums because, superficially, it doesn't seem so different from them.” 

I hope I’ve been able to demonstrate a general trajectory with the musical reputation of each Beatle here. John starts off on two incredible high points, crashes and burns, and then works his way back up. He DEFINITELY missed with STINYC, but even when he followed it up with Mind Games, there was still a hopeful tone to the reviews, sort of like, “Ah, well, the last two weren’t great but we’re still looking forward to what John will give us next.” Until the Dark Horse tour/album, which did sour the press on poor George, the music press adored him. It was hit after hit with him. He could not miss. Three high points, one after the other, then a monumental crash. Ringo seems to stay fairly high, even if the records aren’t serious records. All three of them start out incredibly well, and the music press was able and willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Paul was given none of that. Perhaps because he was out of step with the attitudes about music at the time, perhaps because journalists hated him for breaking up the Beatles, perhaps because they believed John when he painted Paul as “establishment,” perhaps a combination - whatever their issue was, Paul was given no benefit of the doubt to start with, no faith in his genius, and no belief in his authenticity. He was just a hack to the music press for the first few years of the 70s; he started at the bottom and was forced to work his way up, unlike the other three. It started, imo, when Wenner forced the journalist who wrote the McCartney review in RS to rewrite the article, and it spiraled from there. He was seen as hollow and uncool, as one of the anons said, “straight” in the parlance of the time - straight meaning “establishment.” This is kind of where I do start to roll my eyes a little bit at stans, when they get upset at people calling him “establishment” and trying to prove that actually he was so anti-establishment that people couldn’t handle it or whatever, without trying to understand what the word “anti-establishment” meant at the time. But there are also really substantive arguments you can make that say Paul’s music was not taken seriously because of a personal grudge against him.

I’m not saying that all of them didn’t have run-ins with the music press. I’m saying there is nuance here that I don’t think these anons are allowing for in the first few years of that decade. They came at George and John and Ringo with a positive, or at least neutral, slant most of the time. They came at Paul with a negative one. Case in point are the reviews of Band on the Run that were surprised at how good it was. That stuff gets people’s hackles up. The others didn’t have positive reviews rewritten to be more negative. The others didn’t have albums savaged that are now on the Rolling Stone top 500 albums of all time list. I do agree that John, at least, and George post Dark Horse, had a harder time with the music press than people generally remember or care to think about – deification is retroactive, I guess, and as Paul fans we should definitely recognize that Paul wasn’t the only one who went through a rough time with the press. But I do think Paul’s situation was made uniquely and unjustifiably difficult for those first few years.

I mean, at the same time, I cannot stress enough how much this did not affect his bottom line. Despite the horrible reviews, Ram still made a ton of money, McCartney made a ton of money, Band on the Run and Wild Life and Red Rose Speedway all made a ton of money. He had a fanbase, a huge one, that followed him loyally and faithfully through the early 70s as he was getting savaged by the press, and through the middle and late 70s when he was touring. At some point, you have to step back and go, wait. Why does any of this matter? This was 50 years ago. He was a multi-millionaire then and is a billionaire now. And you are right; whenever people over-generalize and try to make the case that Paul was always badly reviewed and the others were press darlings, I tend to get annoyed because they’re totally missing the actually interesting nuances of the situation (that can be easily found online! I found most of the music reviews through snippets on Wikipedia!) In conclusion, I guess my point is that both “Paul was vilified while everyone else wasn’t” and “everyone was equally vilified” paint the events of the early 70s with brushes that are too broad and miss the nuance that was evident in the way the press interacted with their music.

[thedisneychef]

Chocolate Peanut Butter Sandwiches

I picked a really bad week to be allergic to peanut butter. Ok, so I can't pick being allergic to peanut butter, but the truth of the statement still stands... This isn't a great week to have a peanut allergy in my house. It feels like everything I've made lately has peanuts or peanut butter in it. An even bigger bummer as everything I've made looks utterly fantastic. The recipe today is a total throwback. While it's something that's still around occasionally in Disneyland, it used to be one of Disney World's signature treats at the Main Street Bakery and Starring Rolls at the former MGM and has since been retired. I have heard that you can rarely find them around in the fall, especially around Halloween, but despite their cult status as a treat that rivals Mickey ice cream and rice treats, it hasn't been found reliably around WDW in about 10 years and Disneyland started phasing them out about 5 years ago. However, there was a time where these little sandwiches were the go-to treat. Creamy, chocolaty, and kept cold (even frozen!), they were like a peanut butter ice cream sandwich and a slice of heaven on a hot summer day. Their taste, retro feel, and former "must have" designation has elevated them almost to mythic cult status with Disney snackers... So much so that when they were brought back for 3 days (that's right, they were randomly available for 3 days), I saw Twitter forwards like you wouldn't believe when they'd been spotted and people giving running updates as to their availability.  Honestly, it was crazy.  I've never seen a snack inspire such frenzy in people. As a result of what I think is the most viral Disney Twitter explosion not involving the new Fantasyland that I know I'd ever seen, I reached out to one of my connections to get some more info about this treat. What I came back with was the recipe, direct from one of the folks who used to actually make it back in the mid 90s. According to him, the snack was good and enjoyed by many, but people complained that it'd melt too quickly and was way, way too messy to really enjoy. Then, as luck would have it, at the place on property where this treat was exclusively available at the time (which I'm not going to name because I don't want to get anybody in trouble for sharing the story with me...), in one of their displays that is refrigerated, they had some extra space and they decided to slide a few of these bad boys in the refrigerated case. From there, the iconic chocolate peanut butter sandwich as it was known was born and became a sensation, eventually becoming available at several places throughout Disney. Nobody really knows why these were phased out... They were time consuming to make and difficult to store, but more importantly they were served in conjunction with a sponsorship with a peanut butter company that has long since expired which may have been the nail in the coffin to this delicious treat. I'd have to agree that, while making these is easy, it certainly is time consuming and requires a lot of space, both on the counter and in the fridge. If you've got both of those issues worked out, then you've got a hit on your hands with this recipe. I served this as is, making no real changes at all. The only thing is that I don't have the fancy-pants molds that they have at Disney, so I quite literally spooned the mixture on the cracker and then molded it with my hands to a square, level shape.  It's not messy or sticky, so I really didn't mind getting hands-on with the peanut butter mixture. I'll also say that I went with a combination of chocolates... I did half of the bars with milk chocolate and a dark chocolate drizzle, the other half dark chocolate with dark chocolate (tempered with whipped cream) drizzle. Honestly, I hate working with milk chocolate because it's such a pain, so for those who don't do a lot of chocolate work, I'd suggest going with a dark or bittersweet and then adding whipped cream to reach a taste that you'd enjoy. But if you're more confident working with milk chocolate without burning it or having it seize, then go for it. Quality of chocolate really matters for this recipe, perhaps more then any other chocolate recipe I've used in awhile. Don't go cheap or you'll regret it. In fact, Disney has a contract with a certain chocolate company that they use for their chocolate work, a company that also has a store in Downtown Disney... Again, can't say the name here because this recipe isn't featured at their establishment, but I have made some marvelous cookies for this blog that come from the same spot if you need a hint... Anyway, they're expensive, but for sure the best way to go if you can find them in your grocery store. ~~~~  °o°  ~~~~ Read the full article

[ashandboneca]

Racism, abuse, and why I don’t consider myself a part of the ‘community’

I’d like to talk about the event that pushed me away from the idea of a pagan community, and forced me inwards to further develop my own practice - and about the events of the last few years in regards to continued abuses in the pagan community. About 6 years ago, I started to look into the Norse pantheon. I had worked with Thor in the past, and about 6 or 7 prior to that I did an experiment where I worked with the Aesir for a month. At that point in my life, I didn't connect with them. I don't know why I didn't, I partially blame the terrible book I had for guidance, and the fact that the person who initially agreed to guide me flaked out. However, this time around I endeavoured to learn as much as I could from a reputable source, because the last time I had no idea what I was doing. I approached my friend, who is a practicing forn sidr heathen, and they agreed to teach me what they knew. We spent a number of sessions discussing cosmology and theology. I felt confident going forward, armed with book recommendations and a passion to learn further. I wrote a bit about my experiences openly on my previous blog with Odinn. Interactions with him were not sought after, but something that merely happened. When gods or spirits or ancestors come calling, you answer in some way out of respect. I wrote more about my experiences, and different techniques I utilized to connect with him. None of them were specifically Heathen - but I don't soley identify as Heathen, so I figured if that was an issue, Odinn wouldn't have shown up in the first place.

Some time later, my friend had messaged me to let me know they had gotten some hate mail about me via Witchvox (which no longer exists, but used to be a connection board for finding pagans and witches in your area, as well as open groups, etc). I was initially gobsmacked. Why the hell is someone emailing her in regards to something I did? Wouldn't have been more productive to email or message me to resolve whatever issue? I found it who it was. This person was, at that time, a member of a well recognized organization locally who put on events and rituals - an organization whose first mandate is "We hold that each one of us has their own path to follow to truth and spirit." To be honest, I had never really interacted with this person beyond being paid to do so in my former job at a pagan bookshop. We attended a few of the same events, but never really interacted. There was no real beef. I wasn't particularly fond of said person, but I had no real issues with them - so this came sort of out of left field. I sat on it for a bit.  I did not reply to the sender. Instead, I decided to post the initial email on my previous blog. Inevitably, someone is going to disagree with how you practice or what you do, even if you're not doing anything wrong. The  point I think is important to underline is that you do not need to stand for other people trying to tear you down, assert some kind of moral superiority over you, or telling you how and when you should be practicing, unless your practice is appropriative - in which case you should be taking a long, hard look at yourself. As heathenry is an open tradition, I had no concerns. I also think transparency is very important, and when people behave badly they often do so to gain something from it. Whether it is attention, drama, or they feel they are in a safe space to do so due to anonymity.  So, by posting the email (albeit in edited format - I removed all identifying information about said person, because I wanted to focus on the behaviour, not the person), I felt I was addressing something that more people should have been addressing. Afterwards, my friend received a few more emails about how I was 'pissing on their ancestors' and etc. My friend told them, in no uncertain terms, that the emails were unwelcome, the issue was none of their business, and to fuck off. I also got a few emails, a few messages on Witchvox, a few comments, and a lovely comment from a sockpuppet account here on tumblr, as well as finding out my writing was posted to be mocked because I wasn't 'heathen' enough - with screenshots! I did not respond to anything, just kept record of everything in case it was needed. I disagree with the idea of bringing in some third party who is uninvolved to do one's dirty work. If someone has an issue with how someone else is practicing, they need to question whether it's something to address. Bringing in someone uninvolved is both cowardly and childish. They did not ask to be involved, and I'm not sure what involving another person serves to carry a point. Fight your own battles, or say nothing.

There were a few other instances. A series of screencaps of this person’s continued racist, sexist, and abusive behaviour was provided to a few of us. A known leader was accused of racism and verbal abuse by other members of the community with credible evidence. This leader had a pattern of setting up multiple Facebook accounts and when one was found they would set up a new one with a new name. They talked at length about their feelings on immigration, POC in the Heathen community, and interfaith. They advocated violence and celebrated terrorist acts. Some really troubling, disgusting stuff.

We did what we thought was right - we emailed the organization to tell them and offer proof via said screencaps. In the response, we were told, and I am not bullshitting, that this person was a valued member of the community, that they are 'proud' of their heritage (uh, so am I, but I don't run my mouth off about diversity being white genocide), and that we could essentially go pound sand. I quote "own personal outlook on (their) culture and (their) path. (They are) entitled to (their) own practice as much as anyone of us are, and (they) cares deeply for (their) culture.  (They) makes a significant contribution to the Pagan community with (their) efforts through (group). (They are) a hard worker and has accomplished a great many things in (their) time on the board, a commitment that is not to be taken lightly. (They) fulfill (their) duties as a board member admirably."

Do I agree with their hot take on this? No. I think if someone comes to you with an accusation of that kind of wrongdoing, you have a duty to do some manner of preliminary investigation, because if you are in a position where you are teaching people and have authority, those students need to feel safe. You need to determine if the accusations have any truth, and if they are found to be false, feel free to stand behind and assert your belief in the accused. I truly believe the harasser/abuser showed their group the email, and they spun it in some way to discredit us.

Complicity via ignorance is still complicity - it's enough to tarnish an organization's good name. In the working world, business owners have been hung out to dry because of their racist, homophobic, or sexist employee's actions. The whole Kenny Klein situation happened for years because people excused his behaviour and allowed other people to be abused.  We are all finger-wagging and clucking when people try to bring up this behaviour  - don't be starting drama, oh that's just how (name) is, oh that's just rumours. Look, everyone - assholes, creeps, criminals, and predators exist in every faith, every organization. We are so quick to sweep it under the rug, so rushed to prevent judgement, that we always forget that one important fact. While I think it's important not to jump on every bad thing you hear about people, I do think it's important to have an open and frank discussion about proper behaviour while in a position of power. Especially if proof of misdeeds are being offered.

This group, and their lack of action, stood complicit in this person's bad behaviour. If they made the choice to stand behind a racist, bigoted person who spends their time trying to harass people online (I am not the only one, I have been told - there have been multiple people, including some of their own family members), that is their choice. They have made that choice, and they have chosen to accept any repercussions going along with it. They chose to stand behind an abuser.

Sarah Lawless, back in 2018, named a number of known abusers in the wider PNW community. The flack she received for being brave to stand up and call that shit out was disgusting.

Abusers are coddled and protected in pagan communities. They are viewed as elders, as productive members of the community,  as local heroes. While I have been fortunate to encounter very little sexual harassment in the pagan community, I have suffered other abuses and harassment that has shown me that, just like the priests and cardinals in the Vatican, pagans protect and believe only those in their clique. And there are cliques in the community, have no doubt about that.

Sarah pointed out that the ideal community is a fantasy - I agree. Stories I have heard from others about their own experiences in the 'safe and welcoming' pagan community would break your heart. One person I spoke with said 'it's scary to even fathom trying to approach anyone, because it's hard to know who to trust, who might lure you in and take advantange of you'. That is a sad statement, and one I know too well. I have a tendency to keep abuse like this close to the chest because I have been burned by people in the past. There is no spiritual support for people who get abused - no chaplains, no pastoral care, no therapists.

These were people who were putting everything on the line to be heard, and the vitriol and hatred and lies I had seen made my blood boil. This is precisely why people do not come forward. They could put everything on the line - in Sarah's case, the safety of her partner at the time and children - and people will still find a way to claim the survivors are lying. Why? What do the survivors get out of lying about their abuse? What person would come forward, knowing they will be attacked, confronted, slandered, and encounter more abuse, if they weren't telling the truth? Why would any survivor put themselves through that unless there is truth? The most stalwart defenders claim 'they couldn't have done it, I've never seen them do anything to me!' Humans are complicated and complex beings, with many facets and many faces. The face you see may not be the same face others see. The John Doe you know and the John Doe I know may be the same person, but very different relationships. 

It comes down to this: You can't 'believe survivors' if you're supporting abusers.

You can't support survivors if you're sheltering abusers.

You can't help survivors if you're siding with abusers.

You can't call it a safe community if you don't protect it's members.

Standing up for myself and others lost me “friends” who ditched me about the ‘drama’, and my community.  Something needs to change. It is inevitable that change will befall the community, and those denizens had better wise up quickly. There are a lot of young, vulnerable people looking for guidance and safety, and the community better fucking step up and prove they are willing to protect their members, or they have become no better than the Christian groups who continue to enable their abuse. We need willing leaders to push forward to make the community better. We need dedicated, smart, and savvy people to navigate a new and better future for paganism, because it's got a death rattle going on and it needs the kiss of a new life.

Burn the whole of the modern pagan community down. Burn down the groups that perpetuate abuse, that enable abusers, and grow something better and safe from the ashes. Dismantle the sexist, enabling, racist, oversexed community with it's abusive elders, cleanse it with fire, and create a place where people can come together without having to fear predators.

The only I have learned from watching my and other’s experiences is that we shouldn't call out wrongdoing in the community, because I have gotten abuse hurled at me for it and I have seen others who have done the same get more and worse abuse. People get mad, they accuse those who come forward of 'causing drama' or 'rocking the boat'.

That is a terrible lesson. A witch is sovereign unto themselves.

Bitches, this boat is rocking. Grab on, or drown.

This is my own story. I have posted links for further review down below.

Further reading:

Dealing With Toxic People in the Pagan Community

Sarah Lawless’ post about her suffered abuse, via the Wayback Machine

Abuse, the Pagan Community, and Our Commitments

Abuse Within Paganism - a taboo topic?

A Crisis of Faith

Authenticity and Racism in Contempory Paganism

This is not a new issue - via livejournal, 2006

Cultural Appropriation in Neopaganism

[consumeconstantly]

Small Buff Girl Sightings ch. 3

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ao3 

Marinette wonders when she got used to the crushing weight of expectations that had been imposed upon her by the Powers That Be. She also wonders when she got used to being lonely. These are two separate events, she’s fairly sure, but it isn’t like she keeps a diary anymore. She has long since fallen out of that habit, because she doesn’t want another Sabrina incident. With the class the way it is now, she can’t even fathom how much damage her diary could bring to her classmates, and likely, the whole of Paris. Because for some reason, Hawkmoth has some sort of a vendetta against her class.

Which is the whole reason why she didn’t transfer out of Mademoiselle Bustier’s class in the first place. Sure, she tried for the first few months to expose Lila and get things back to the status quo, but Marinette can only try and fail so many times before getting tired of her classmate’s willful ignorance. Then, she stayed in class for Adrien. Such a sweet, misguided boy. Marinette wonders how he would have turned out if his father was less of an asshole, or if his mother were still around. No use crying over spilled milk; she still feels bad for him, but she’s no longer staying in class for him. Her crush on Adrien is a thing of the past. 

As it is currently, Mlle. Bustier’s class simply provides the most excellent cover for all of her escapades and an excellent vantage point to see what the next akuma might be. 

After all, their class encompasses both the people who are most often akumatized-- minus Monsieur Ramier and Augustine-- and the people who are most likely to cause somebody’s akumatization. These are the usual suspects:

Chloe, who has admittedly improved her attitude after reconciling with her mother, but still doesn’t know how to deal with people like an ordinary person would. 

Lila, whose lies and half truths have ended more than one person’s dreams (as well as her own penchant to get akumatized willingly, but that hasn’t happened often after the first year, and Marinette doesn’t really want to go into that).

Adrien, who never intends to get anybody akumatized, but ends up doing so when the media catches him doing anything. Because everything he does gets covered by the media heavily. So when he goes out with friends and is mistaken for having a lover, there are a lot of angry fangirls who get akumatized.

Oh, and then there’s Marinette herself. She’s honestly not sure how or why so many people around her end up getting akumatized-- maybe she takes other people’s luck in exchange for having an abundance of her own-- but there’s certainly quite a number.

And if she’s talking about family relations, this class takes the cake too. Adrien’s father lashes out at his employees so often that Marinette is surprised that all his workers haven’t quit yet. Gabriel’s attitude has also convinced Marinette that she never wants to work at the man’s self-named brand. Mayor Bourgois and Audrey Bourgeois are both… frightening in their own ways. Both can end careers easily, but Audrey definitely goes about ending careers in a more harmful way. Juleka’s mom pisses off anybody who tries to come down the Seine; numerous akumas have appeared in response to her loud music blasting at all times of the day. And Ivan’s parents? Sweethearts, but both are so sensitive that their family is a prime target for Hawkmoth. 

She wonders when the new boy, Damian, will get akumatized. She doesn’t think-- hopes-- that he won’t, but with the track rate of their classmates, it was highly unlikely that he wouldn’t. So far, Marinette and Adrien have been the only ones in the class who haven’t been, including the series of brief transfers to their classes last year. Maybe he’ll be another to add to their number. And Marinette and Adrien both moonlight as superheroes. There’s probably some Miraculous magic involved, but Marinette’s not entirely sure. Master Fu doesn’t have answers for many of the questions that Marinette asks.

Damian seems like a decent person with a good head on his shoulders. Marinette hopes that he transfers away from this class soon, because she would feel awful if he does end up getting caught up with her classmate’s delusional version of reality. Because even though Lila has calmed down a lot and no longer tells such outlandish tales as she did in her first year at Francois Dupont, everyone else still follows her so mindlessly that it isn’t a healthy relationship for anyone involved. Marinette is almost certain that there are multiple people in the class that must know Lila was lying but now perpetuate this twisted version of reality because they’re afraid. Ninth and tenth year were important; if Lila really did lie about all of her connections, that means they messed their own futures up and need to work on themselves to fix it--something that is difficult to admit and commit to matter what age a person is. To admit that they did something wrong and take steps to fix it-- Marinette doesn’t think any of her classmates have that kind of mindset. After all, if anyone else had guts, there’s no way that Chloe would have been class president for as long as she was.

 Lunch comes around quickly, and Damian manages to catch her on her way out, grabbing and holding her forearm. Marinette is cautious, making sure that none of Lila’s lackeys are around. Despite her agreement with Lila, her classmates tend to make everything a much bigger deal than it should be, and they always tell Lila whenever Marinette steps so much as a foot out of line. Lila doesn’t always act on her classmates' words, but when there are too many voices that say that Marinette is doing something wrong, Lila has to act; if she doesn’t, she’s at risk of losing her position of power. Once Marinette is sure there is no one from Mlle. Bustier’s class watching, she pulls Damian with her to an alleyway a short ways away from her family’s bakery.

“I’m telling you again. You really don’t want to be seen with me.” 

“If you think I care about Lila, you’re mistaken. I will be seen with who I want to be seen with.” 

Marinette’s hand is warm and calloused. Her fingertips are extra soft, like she takes care to moisturize them more than the rest of her hand. 

The alleyway is surprisingly nice. Much nicer than any alleyway that Damian would find in Gotham, that’s for certain. It doesn’t have any blood stains and there are no crazy psychos hiding in the shadows. Instead, sunlight is let through the shorter of the two buildings, only five stories. Sure, the place smells slightly of urine and trash and there’s broken bottles everywhere, but that is par for the course for any major city.

Marinette’s not sure why Damian seems to be going out of his way to talk to her. She’s seen him interact with the other students, and he was positively stoic with them. His words are still clipped when he’s talking to her, but at least he speaks full sentences.

“It’ll be bad for your social health if you keep trying to talk to me.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t believe I ever asked for you to look after my social health, and I certainly don’t want  to talk to the idiots in that class.”

“I don’t think you understand, Damian. You might not mind being alone, but being lonely is different. It feels bad, and Hawkmoth will take advantage of you.” Marinette knows what being lonely is like, because despite her loving parents and all of her friends that she’s made outside of school in the past two years, before that, her world was limited. Sometimes, she wishes that some magical being came with Miraculous. Someone that she can actually talk to about all of her problems, both hero-related and those in her everyday life. As it is, Marinette never talks about what she does as Ladybug, unless she’s referring to herself in the third person and is forced to. Marinette doesn’t need people trying to figure out she is Ladybug, and despite Master Fu’s assurances that people without a Miraculous will never, ever catch on, she prefers to err on the side of caution. And as Ladybug, she only ever talks to Chat Noir, never deigning to talk about her personal life because it will be way too easy for Adrien to make the jump between her everyday problems and Marinette, because Adrien is a Miraculous user, and the Identity Concealment magic supposedly is less effective between Miraculous users. 

“I don’t believe we’ve interacted enough for you to judge my mental fortitude. Besides, you might have told me to avoid you, but I never agreed.” 

The former part of Damian’s statement isn’t true, but Damian doesn’t know that. As a superhero, Marinette needs to know how to judge people quickly and effectively. She’s read plenty of books on psychology and body language, clocked endless hours of videos on the subject. There’s also the matter of her bountiful personal experience, what with figuring out the issues of the ever increasing number of akumas that pop up around the city. Still, it isn’t like Marinette can actively refute his statement. 

For a while, the two of them stand in contemplative silence. 

“Fine, then, I’ll tell you why you need to avoid me. We might as well get out of this alleyway, though.” Marinette eyes the dumpster that stands a few meters away from them.

“And here I thought you were fond of alleyways,” Damian says, in reference to the first time they met.

She laughs, and it feels good. Marinette hasn't laughed in quite some time. Lately, her parents are always busy. They want to expand their patissiere by opening a second branch. That means they don’t have much family time, and when they do, it’s typically spent talking shop. Manon has continued in her bratty toddler stage, and the rest of the kids that she babysits are in a similar state. Uncle Jagged and Aunt Penny are still touring, bringing Luka around for the ride, Kagami’s currently in intensive training for the World Cup, and she simply hasn’t had enough time to see any of her other friends.

“I’d like to think that I'm more fond of my parents' macarons, than I am of alleyways.” Marinette leads him through the other end of the alleyway and through a few streets to get to the back entrance that leads directly to their house instead of the bakery. At least since Maman and Papa are so busy with business, she never needs to talk about her friends in school, or lack thereof.

#

“Let me get this straight,” Damian says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You had four transfers last year and each of them ended up as akumas multiple times because of her lies, students who don’t believe her get expelled, suspended, or bullied, and the teacher and school refuse to do anything about it?”

“Well, Principal Damocles refuses to do anything; Mlle. Bustier believes her.” Marinette sips the cup of hot cocoa she prepared and lounges on her chaise. She doesn’t bother saying that all the transfers occurred in a six month period, after which Lila let up on her tyranny and turned into an average albeit still incredibly charismatic teen. Neither does she bother mentioning that Lila doesn’t lie anymore-- at least, not any big ones-- and has stopped getting herself willingly akumatized. She’s trying to get Damian to transfer out, after all. 

“That’s even worse. They’re useless.”

“It depends on your point of view. They’re very useful if you’re Lila or the rest of the class.”

Damian swivels the chair so he’s facing Marinette in her entirety. “How have you managed three years with that orange demon? Better question, why have you not transferred?”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” It’s not like Marinette can tell him the real reason why she’s staying in the class. That’s why she hasn’t told her parents about all of this. If they knew, they would definitely make her transfer classes, if not schools.

“That is no good reason for me to continue to stay with her group. I hate lying manipulators.” Damian’s mother is a good example.

“You might hate them, but if you can’t beat them and you can’t leave, you have to join them, or at least make a truce. And there’s no way Lila is going to give you up.”

“I really should just transfer.”

“I agree whole-heartedly. Please do.”

“But I can’t. My father won’t arrange a transfer for me. He wants me in that class.” More accurately-- Damian knows how many akumas came out of that class, and there is no way that he’s going to transfer away from it. It’s easier to figure out a game plan if he’s able to watch the action.

“I could arrange a transfer for you, if you want.”

“No, that’s too much trouble.”

“It’s no trouble, and if it helps one person by preventing them from getting akumatized, that’s great.”

“Why can’t you just expose her?” Damian counters.

“Tried that two years ago. Failed. Miserably. I almost got expelled.” She tactfully leaves out the fact that Lila also got her back in school. After years of making up excuses for where she’s been when an akuma attack calls her away, she’s gotten very skillful at lies by omission. Besides, if they’re to help someone, that’s okay, right? 

“If you can’t expose her then how are you going to get me transferred out?”

“Those are two separate issues. I might not be able to persuade a classroom that’s very interdependent on their relations with each other, but I was class president for two years, so I know people.” 

Damian decides to revise his tactics. “I don’t back down from a challenge. Besides, I want to see her empire crumble.”

The last part isn’t true. He cares little for the Italian girl, even less for their other classmates. People like Lila are alarmingly common when you run in the circles of the rich and powerful, and there are certainly people whose charisma is infinitely more dangerous. Lex Luthor, for instance. He shakes off thoughts of the dangerous business man. Damian needs to stay in this class because it’s the best lead that he’s got right now. He’s trying to be as covert as possible, under League request. Apparently, the Justice League of America isn’t supposed to interfere with what’s going on in Europe unless they call in for help. Damian thinks that’s a stupid rule-- in the end, they’re all just trying to protect the world-- but he agreed to secrecy and keeping his head down when accepting the mission. That means he’s not suddenly going to start asking his classmates about akumas unless they’re brought up in conversation. Unnecessary suspicion is a bad thing in this instance.

He takes another bite of the pastry that Marinette brought up for him. It’s much better than a lot of the other vegan options he’s found in Paris-- not that there are many to begin with. Everything in this damn city is made with butter or cheese. There is a lull in the conversation, and then, “She has no reason to hold on to me. I’ll just stay with you, in the back of the class.”

Marinette laughs at this.

“Lila isn’t going to let you go.”

“What do you mean by that? She let you go.” Damian almost feels like he should be affronted at some of the statements that Marinette has made. He feels like she doesn’t appreciate or know how capable he is. It feels weird to have somebody not hold him to the impossibly high pedestal of a genius billionaire’s son. Now that he’s with Marinette, he’s glad that the Justice League sent him under a different last name. He can only imagine the chaos that it would have caused when he arrived.

Marinette rolls her eyes. “She didn’t willingly let me go. She only did because I was constantly undermining her, though unsuccessfully. And besides, there’s a very big difference between the two of us.”

“I’m very capable at undermining people.”

“I have no doubt about that,” Marinette snorts. Damian Grayson is quite the character. They’ve met in the oddest of situations each time. At first, she thought he might be a stalker, but after getting to know Damian a little better, Marinette believes that it’s coincidence-- there’s no way that someone with as much pride as Damian would go out of his way to follow a mere girl. If he wanted to go out with someone, he’d simply demand it. “But the key difference is our gender. Lila Rossi may be bisexual, but her desired gender of arm candy is male. I’m sure you’ve seen her with Adrien. The blonde one?”

At Damian's nod, Marinette continues. “Don’t get your ego even more inflated, but you are good looking. You’re Lila’s type. Tall, muscular, green eyed. You’re the perfect balance to Adrien’s sunshine demeanor. Besides, she can’t have a girl with self-confidence within her circle,  so there was no way that we could have peacefully coexisted in the same group to begin with.”

Marinette’s comment about his appearance makes him feel an unexpected shock of pleasure. He knows he’s good looking. All of the Wayne kids are. He’s gotten enough compliments on his appearance to last him ten lifetimes. But knowing that Marinette finds him attractive feels different. She doesn't seem to be the type to exaggerate, and has a good objective eye for beauty.

“Yes, she already has Adrien. She doesn’t need me as well.”

“Greed never stops.” Marinette finishes her cup of hot cocoa and now stares at her ceiling, then at the wall opposite her, covered in fabric and design sketches. It seems like it was only yesterday when the walls of her bedroom were filled with the countless modelling endeavors of one Adrien Agreste. Now, there are very few pictures of him at all. She wishes that she got to hang out with him more, civilian to civilian. 

When she figured out that Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir were the same, it was a day for the record books. She had so much emotional whiplash that day that it still gives her nausea just thinking about it. Marinette figures that it is a good thing she found out when she did, otherwise she might have continued with her crush on him and would have ended up pointlessly heartbroken. She still loves him, just not the way lovers do. Marinette also suspects that Adrien himself is not looking for a relationship of any sort besides friendship. He’s been more tense in recent months, and Chat Noir confessed that people touching him made him uncomfortable.

Marinette wants nothing more but to rip Adrien from Asshole Gabriel’s hands. But she can’t, because Marinette doesn’t have the trust of Adrien Agreste. Not in the capacity that she needs him to. Not in the capacity that will allow her to unseat Gabriel as she so desperately wishes to. If Ladybug entrusted Marinette to help Adrien out, there is no doubt that Adrien would figure out her alter ego, and that is dangerous knowledge. Especially since he is so tense with everything else going on in his life. It’s a recipe for a powerful akuma and the horrifying possibility of Hawkmoth learning her civilian identity. Ever since retiring the other heroes, Marinette knows that she can’t afford to have Chat Noir or Adrien akumatized. She’s certain that she can beat him in either form, but on the off chance that Hawkmoth decides on a mass akumatization, she can’t beat them all. She’s just not strong enough, no matter how many hours she trains and no matter how many times she takes down baddies in her civilian form.

“So what, I should just let her put her hands all over me?”

That… admittedly sounds unpleasant. Marinette isn’t sure what Adrien and Lila have going on, but Marinette knows that they’re not actually in a relationship. She’s fairly sure that Adrien and Lila have stuck some sort of deal on their own, but she’s not close enough to ask Adrien, and she’s definitely not going to ask Lila. Still, when Marinette addressed her concerns with Lila’s touchy tendencies, Adrien gave her a weak smile and said that that was just part of Lila’s nature. He implied that he dealt with worse, which made Marinette worried to hell and back, but ultimately Adrien convinced Marinette that touching him was not done with ill intent by Lila and that her touch warded off other people’s interest. He promised that he was fine, and that he would tell Marinette if he was really uncomfortable. So Marinette let sleeping dogs lie, because despite her initial animosity towards Lila, she was good at manipulating attention away from Adrien whenever he was having a particularly bad day.

“I told you, I can get you transferred out.” 

“And I told you that I never back down from a challenge.”

“Then it seems like we’re at an impasse.”

“I suppose we are.” 

Marinette’s phone alarm goes off, and she jumps from her chaise. “We’ve got to get back to school. Class starts in five. You go first, I’ll clean up.”

“I am not a rude houseguest.”

“Well, I don’t want to be seen with you in school, so leave.” Marinette’s sudden burst of rudeness is unlike her, but she chalks it down to her deep-rooted desire for Damian not to end up like the four transfers last year. She keeps in contact with some of them still, and not all of them are doing all too well. Marinette really doesn’t want Damian to end up like that.

Damian’s mouth sets itself into a thin line. “Fine then, have it your way. Give me your phone number.”

A shrug. “If that’s what it’ll take for you to leave me alone during school.”

And then, Damian is off.

#

4:50PM | Unknown number: I’m testifying next Thursday.

4:55PM | Marinette: Damian?

Damian: Yes.

Marinette: oh

Marinette: me too

Marinette: i’m going to visit renee tomorrow

4:58PM | Damian: I’ll come with you. I’ll meet you at your parent’s bakery after school.

6:42PM | Marinette: uh

Marinette: how about that alleyway instead

Damian: If I must.

#

Marinette doesn’t really know what to make of Damian. The first time she meets him, she almost thinks he is another stalker. Almost, but not quite; he looks far too reluctant to be following her and looks too unfamiliar with the streets that they were going down to have done this before. Still, she doesn’t want to take any chances, so she makes quick work of her first stalker and immediately gets on the phone with the police, leaving her stalker in the alley despite her normal protocol to stay with the criminal until the police get there. She makes an exception for this, because even from a distance, the second person following her looks much more dangerous than the first, and she doesn’t want to fight with someone who’s bigger than her in a place that’s hard to run away in. 

When he appears near the alleyway he seems annoyed, then relieved and surprised when he sees the body in the alleyway. Like it was something he didn’t want to deal with.

When she brushes past him, there isn’t a hint of recognition in his eyes. Nothing except for surprise, and maybe a little bit of admiration. A raised eyebrow, saying, really? This short little girl just beat a man twice her size up? 

She ends up in violent altercations as a civilian on an almost regular basis. According to one of her stalkers, she was just so friendly. Clearly she wanted to go out with him. It’s her fault for coming onto him. When she isn’t fending off creepy men whose profiles were nearly all the same-- five to ten years older than her, with some sort of fetish for asian women (she shudders at the thought of being called exotic)-- she does her duty as a plain-clothes hero. Because her conscience will never let her get away with walking away from an instance that might end up harming someone else. Marinette feels an overwhelming sense of responsibility. She won’t forgive herself for not protecting the weak. 

#

The next time she meets him, she’s surprised that he actually approaches her and asks if she needs help. He clearly doesn’t actually want her to take him up on the offer, so she immediately turns him down. Marinette isn’t sure why he feels so compelled to offer his help when he clearly didn’t want to but-- oh merde. The class is going to leave her behind again if she doesn’t run and try to catch the bus now. She can take the metro, but she is short on the amount she needs to get all the way home. Marinette is also unwilling to turn into Ladybug, because Ladybug only ever shows up on night patrols and when there’s an akuma, and she doesn’t want to send Parisians into a mass panic.

Despite his obvious unwillingness, she reneges on her words and asks him to watch over the thief. He seems more at ease with it than she expected. Maybe he really had meant his offer. Weird. She is usually pretty good at reading people. Why can’t she get a good read on this guy?

His posture, too, is more at ease than she would expect of any civilian. Usually, if she ever asks somebody to watch over somebody she’s detained, they’re nervous and a little jumpy. Their hands are glued to their phone, ready to make a call if the slightest thing goes wrong. But this guy is relaxed and confident. Just the way he’s standing screams of years of training, in fighting and possibly in etiquette. Maybe he comes from some high class family.

She doesn’t have time to contemplate why and where and how. She just leaves him.

#

Then he comes in like a ghost, when she’s helping poor Nicolette. Somehow, Marinette knows this voice, this step pattern. She only needs a single glance up to confirm her beliefs. It’s the guy she keeps seeing around town. 

Despite her initial impression that he wasn’t dangerous, she still takes the proper measures to protect herself, just in case. She can never be too sure in situations like these, and although he has been nothing but helpful, she doesn’t particularly want to be on the receiving end of one of his punches. He looks like an athlete. Long, lean muscle. Dangerous too, if his eyes are anything to go by.

They’re dark green and calculating. He’s gone through Things. Marinette can almost guarantee that the guy has encountered at least a few life-threatening situations. 

She wonders how it is that he only ever seems to appear once she’s done with whatever issue she’s dealing with. Is he stalking her to see the extent of her abilities? Is he trying to make her let her guard down? Something about him makes Marinette anxious. He looks like he wants to tear her apart to see her inner workings. To figure her out. He makes Marinette feel like he’s always on the verge of finding out her biggest secret, and she hates it. 

Still, he makes for a pretty reliable cleanup partner. She doesn’t think that she would trust a regular civilian to keep watch over any person she thought was dangerous. Fraser is just a little too dangerous for Marinette to consider leaving alone in the street. She certainly would not have passed his care to any regular stranger. 

But Nicolette is clearly in need of comfort, and Damian looks like he can take care of himself and any trouble that comes his way. Which makes Marinette even more wary of him. Would she be able to beat him in her civilian form? She is certain that she could if he is just some common street thug-- she’s taken down people bigger than him-- but she gets the foreboding feelings that he is more than that.

#

It’s almost comforting to see Damian’s reaction to Ladybug and the akuma. He looks equal parts confused and awe struck. There is a touch of cynicism in there, for sure, a little bit of disbelief, but somehow, it lets Marinette breathe a temporary sigh of relief. 

He doesn’t know what is going on in Paris. He doesn’t know her-- either side of her. And it is going to stay that way. 

#

Of course it doesn’t stay that way. Marinette uses up all of her luck during her time as Ladybug, so the person who is currently at the top of her Avoid list shows up to her school as the American transfer. Of course he decides to sit next to her. She bemoans the loss of her blessedly empty desk. Damian is taller and larger than most boys their age, but he sits far enough away from her. 

That’s a good sign. He’s not going out of his way to touch her or make contact with her. Maybe this whole thing is just a coincidence. Please, let this whole thing be just a coincidence

Then he starts talking to her, and of course he notices the whole thing with Lila, how can he not? She didn’t make a wrong judgement on his level of perceptiveness. Great. That is one thing she would have gladly lost a bet on. Now, she has to deal with possible ramifications of Damian, six foot Adonis, not wanting to get along with Lila. Lila will not like this. Marinette knows exactly what she wants in her little circle: attractive boys and girls that are less pretty or less confident than her. People who are easily controlled by promises and tall tales. And although Damian only fits one of those categories, he will undoubtedly be on her shopping list. 

After their awful first year together, Lila proposed a truce of sorts. They could either try being friends or they could stay out of each other’s ways. Lila wouldn’t actively bully Marinette, and Marinette wouldn’t actively try to expose her. 

She can feel Lila’s eyes on her. Green. It seems like everybody and anybody who brought her trouble nowadays had green eyes. Tonight, she’ll throw out all the green items that she owns. Marinette doesn’t need any more bad luck around her.

#

 They return from lunch, and Marinette prays to every God whose name she knows that he is no longer sitting in the back seat. That Lila successfully swept him up. 

Of course she hasn’t. Damian’s too smart for his own damn good. Which means that she needs to start preparing for the consequences of the inevitable fallout. She really doesn’t want Damian to turn into an akuma. She’s pretty good at telling which people will be more powerful (devastating? devastating.) in their akumatized forms than others, and she’s pretty sure that Damian would round out her top five, alongside Adrien, her Maman, her cousin, Bridgette, and herself. People who have more control over themselves are that much scarier when they fall apart. 

#

This time, Damian shows up before things are completely settled, and she’s thankful for it. 

If she wants to build a case against this woman, she does not need accusations of her own violence levelled against her. Thus, Marinette had been almost entirely ready and willing to feel the woman’s slap, maybe even her nails cutting through her skin. None of that matters, though. Not in comparison to Renee’s future.

In Renee, Marinette can see a lot of Adrien. He is blonde, is soft spoken from what little she’s seen of him, and lives firmly under a rich and manipulative parent’s thumb. Even though he’s scared of getting hit by his mom, Marinette can feel, instinctively, that if she hits the woman back, not only will she be in trouble with the case, she will also have scared Renee. 

Damian steps in at exactly the right time, and leaves her free to call the police. 

Though he’s quiet throughout the ride to the station, she does see him look at the little boy in concern. Other than that, he seems curious. A little child-like, even. His eyes are darting around the inside of the cruiser. It’s almost comical. Maybe he’s scared of being in the back of the police car, but she can’t find it in her to bring out a laugh. Not when Renee is on her lap. Not when she can feel his tears through her shirt and his soft little hiccups. Marinette hates that woman. Hates her so much. Hates Gabriel, too.

Marinette is focusing more on Renee and the woman more than Damian, but when she does spare him a glance, he seems unsure. Discomfited. Maybe he wants to reassure Renee that it will be alright. 

She has been preparing for a situation in which she can take Gabriel to court for almost an entire year now. Despite this, Marinette still pulls out her phone and checks a few websites to make sure that all of the information she has is correct.  Damian pulls out his phone too, though he’s just fiddling with it so his hands have something to do. 

By the time Marinette breaks past the woman’s painfully bad facade of being a good parent, Marinette feels her blood boiling. She knows that she is not immune to being akumatized, and is very glad that it’s highly unlikely Hawkmoth sends out another akuma today. 

It hurt a little when she first discovered that she could be akumatized. She was thirteen, Ladybug, and invincible. Then, she was thirteen, Marinette, and scared. Despite the situation at the time, Marinette could never bring herself to fully hate Lila. In part, because she believed--and still believes-- that Adrien is at least partially right. She sees it, periodically. How lonely Lila is behind her lies and friendships. Marinette doesn’t know what the girl is missing, and she doesn’t particularly care to know, but Lila is young and immature and has time to shift her course. And after their truce, Lila backed down a lot. Her lies are soft, now. Quiet. Most times nonexistent. She doesn’t need to do much to manipulate the class into loving her because she laid down all the groundwork during that first, horrible year.

But Marinette feels entitled to be angry at these parents who treat their children like they are nothing more than tools. Like they are subhuman. Maybe some parents can’t love their children-- she understands that to some extent-- and maybe they can’t be with them all the time. However, if love isn’t possible, they should still treat their child with the basic courtesy of human decency. And there is a point where neglect turns into abuse. Marinette knows that-- sees that with Adrien and Gabriel-- all too well. 

Marinette is glad that all of her previous encounters with criminals taught her to record from the moment she interferes. She is glad that she sprung for a phone with extra amounts of storage. Her palms are hot and trembly, but her head is cold. She feels a twisted sense of accomplishment wrenched from her gut as she watches Renee’s mother flee from the room. 

It is in this cold daze that she finds herself outside with Damian. Alone together, again. And he asks her about Lila, and she doesn’t want to deal with whatever dangers Damian brings with him. She’s had to fight off an akuma, deal with an absolute horror of a woman, and when she goes home, she will have to finish a commission and study for a test tomorrow. Damian is an unnecessary complication. 

Somehow, her life has become a never ending cycle. At least she will sleep better at night knowing that Renee is in better hands.