#ALSO I SAW A STRAY CAT. WHICH IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok not to brag but eeeee i just went to a guest talk on my campus about like dogwhistle-adjacent stuff and use of obscuring/cushioning language in relation to bigotry and after the Q&A i asked the speaker for advice on what kinda field/degrees to pursue that explored these issues and whatnot and she was like thanks for your questions and i mentioned that this was my first semester of college and she was like oh?? from your questions I thought you were a phd student you're doing great!! like. giggling and kicking my feet i love it when that happens jfhdjkshdjs

[corollaservant]

Introspect // Dabi x f!reader (18+)

Synopsis: The past never dies. But it can often be forgotten. (3.4k)

Warnings: yandere/obsessive behavior, captivity, stalking, violence, noncon/dubcon, jealousy, delusion, denial, implied PTSD, deterministic and nihilistic philosophical paradigm, Dabi's POV—stream of consciousness type fic

A/N: wrote this in 3hrs. majorly inspired by (and dedicated to) my fave tumblr writer, new magic wand by tyler the creator and this dabi art 🖤

Happy. You looked happy, that’s what he thought when he saw it.

Not in a way you’d been with him anyway. He didn’t know whether that was for the better. The first thing he thought was you posted him. Of course you would. He was not patched, burnt or looking like someone who escaped the psychiatric ward. Without proper clothing, jumping out of a window, frantically running towards the opposite direction. Was it a matter of appearance? Or did you just not like him enough? He wouldn’t know, you hadn’t spoken in a month. And some days. That’s when you told him you needed space. Seriously, people needed to come up with better excuses, this one was over-saturated. Was it bad he clung onto you? It’s not like you had many friends, all he had asked was more of your time. Your stupid job wasn’t even that important—he never bothered finding out what you did exactly, it’s not like he didn’t care, he just wanted you there. The rest of your whereabouts were none of his business as long as you were not conversing (excessively) with anyone else. Because even then, why would you need to do that? He could do it for you.

He had no actual job, well, classifying as a villain doesn’t get you far in life, he called himself a freelancer. Freelancer in murder and theft, maybe. But he felt like he had a share in serving divine justice. A modern vigilante so to say. Any accidental death was a misfortune, a predetermined fate. He didn’t want to pretend to be integrated in society for you to like him, he was lucky because he didn’t have to. Which then reminded him of how he met you.  

Petting strays at night wasn’t careful of you, especially with the crime rates in the city. But you had done so regardless, he remembers it vividly: You in an alley, on your knees, not caring about the dirt coming in direct contact, extending your hand. The cat was barely visible, he could only make out its yellow eyes. But then, the cat saw him, he knew cats had brilliant vision and it left you, perhaps in thought he had food you didn’t. You turned your head only to take a step back. Not smart, you landed on your ass as you opened your mouth. Did he scare you? Of course, what a stupid thing to ask. Under other circumstances he’d leave. Making fun of strangers wasn’t really his thing, not unless they deserved it, but the cat seemed to take a liking to him. Animals loved him, his mom used to tell him not to trust people who repelled them, it was a bad sign. Animals had instinct, animals could tell. He decided to pet the little guy (or girl?), as he kneeled down and softly touched its head. That was another thing about cats. They didn’t give a fuck about the staples or burnt odor, they just wanted food and the occasional touch. He liked cats. He could see himself in them. Something in the domesticity of the situation must've calmed you down because you fixed your posture and to his surprise approached him. It was still dark, you were still a woman and alone in an alley. 

‘’He likes you.’’ You told him. Had you already figured out it was a male stray? Dabi must’ve underestimated you. Your voice hid a whine, a soft protest but it was not annoyance and he shifted his gaze.

‘’Yeah.’’ was all he said. 

‘’Can I?’’ You asked. Why were you asking for permission, this wasn’t even his cat. 

‘’Sure.’’

You were so close, trying not to scare the cat and also touch him, he noticed. Your finger tried to avoid his but the cat’s head was unfortunately not that big so you eventually grazed a digit over him. You hadn’t flinched back then, hadn’t even scrunched your nose, were you not afraid? Didn’t the smell and appearance repel you? Apparently not, you seemed so invested in getting the cat to like you. It wasn’t like it didn’t. The stray ended up loving you, purring at your touch and looking in your eyes, like a man in love. And maybe it wasn’t just the cat. 

-

Within three days of your first encounter he had you on his chest, in your apartment of course, where else could he have you? He wanted to fuck you the first time he saw you, but the urge wasn’t that violent, which had taken him by suprise. You also did not seem like the type to give it up easily. He’d have to do some mental jumping jacks to get you, he didn’t worry about revealing too much though; he didn't have a lot to say, his old identity long buried away with his sensitivity. He still didn’t feel like hurting you. The first night he told you his name, Dabi, and it was so convincing, he too had believed it. You exchanged trivial information neither cared about and he offered company on your way back. He scolded you for being alone in the neighborhood, like some good samaritan, he laughed as he guided you through dimly lit alleys with zero traffic. 

‘’Want to come inside?’’ You had asked. Already? Were you that easy? But who was he to say no?

Your place was small, as expected, neat and tidy, with a few clothes on the bed, nothing bad. It smelled nice too, he noticed a small plant on the coffee table. How gullible to let him in like that. Dabi imagined how many times you must’ve been wronged in life. But you being you—it was probably something that flew over your head daily. You’d call it compromise, he’d call it stupidity.

He had fucked you in missionary that night, a true gentleman, easing his way inside and slightly towering, making sure the stapled skin under his sternum didn’t touch your sensitive one. You were soaking by the time you stopped making out and he slid a finger inside, warm and enticing, his cock hardened in primal ways. He had softly thrown you on your bed (his definition of soft wasn’t exactly soft, you had let out a groan, was it bad?) and climbed on top. You were looking at him expectantly, your eyes glassy, was that pain or excitement, Dabi would bet bucks on the latter. The way you had shyly parted your legs, not for his cock, but to fit him in between was sickeningly pretty, he could swear he was almost…nervous to slip his cock inside. And he was right, trying to fit it inside failed him two or three times while he pretended to toy your clit with his cockhead. You didn’t seem to mind, his act must’ve been convincing, you were softly moaning and your eyes dared to look at the sight of his swollen tip against your lower lips, was it pretty? He had fucked you as hard as he would allow himself—your body could take it, he had to be honest, the more he stuffed you, the more he needed to drive his cock further into your soft walls, there was no room for play pretend romance here. But you seemed to like it too, wrapping your arms around the bare part of his back, fingers accidentally trailing the stapled skin and groaning near his face. ‘’Fuck.. right there.. D-Dabi! More!’’ More? Sure, you could have more. A patched arm strongly pinned a leg above your head, touching the bed frame, as his stiff and pained cock violated your cunt, he could feel how deep he was and constantly fought the urge to spill already. As for you? Tears from your eyes fell down your now stained sheets as you screamed. Pleasure, pain, honestly he didn’t care much about what it was, your pussy clamping down on him the last thing he felt before he bit down your neck, almost ripping out the skin tissue. His cum slowly trickled out, while both of you panted, each exhale synchronizing with the clock ticking in the kitchen. 

There were no voids you could fill, he knew it, interacting with others proved to be a daily reminder. But there were voids you soothed, pain you healed just with your head resting where a heart used to be. Heart beating irregularly, like his feet in his childhood, with excitement, with a different type of eagerness. These weren’t thoughts he made that night and that’s how he knew he liked you. That night his mind was blank for the very first time, carefree from reality, from the ugliness of living—you had sex with some stained villain, who hadn’t only stained your cunt, but your sheets too, your morals indirectly and heart along the way. These thoughts came to him when he saw the photo. Space. You said you needed space. There wasn’t any relationship established, what the fuck you needed space for? Because now he had found something to give waking up a reason. Someone to regularly satisfy his cock with, someone to take away his thoughts and halt his aimless wandering. And you needed space. How lame. You know what? He could give you space. Indirectly of course. He’d still follow you around, check the whereabouts and conversations, sit outside your house and watch you get undressed. But you looked happy. And he couldn’t decipher in what way. Was he a friend? Who gives a fuck about the guy anyway, why were you smiling like that? You never posted him, that's for sure, you knew in the three months of irregular hanging out (to call it dating would be a joke) that he hated it. And so you never did, even though he wanted you to deep down. Something small. A grocery store visit, one you made when he said he’d cook dinner (he had burnt it). But you never did and now here you are posting with someone irrelevant. 

Murder wasn’t the answer. Stupidly enough it was always associated with morality. But you’d think Dabi would have none of that. He thought murder was stupid. No second of his time ought to be wasted for the next guy. Though he had to admit, he often contemplated whether you’d want this. You didn’t know shit about him. But a sudden murder would definitely have you crawling for protection. And who better than the one who committed it? He honestly wouldn’t go out of his way to do all that. He wanted you organically. It had been a long time since he wanted someone. But you sufficed. You were enough. You never asked, never complained, not even when you’d come home from work, exhausted and dirty and he was waiting at your door. Not even when you were shoved against the cupboards and fucked without remorse—you still wrapped your legs around him and whimpered on his neck. And fuck if that didn’t feel good. He hugged you in your sleep. You’d both sleep in opposite directions, you first of course, so you’d never notice he switched sides and brought a leg over yours, resting his head on your throat, feeling each breath, each pulse. You’d wake up confused at the position, he’d say he didn’t remember. These were the few nights he could reach REM state. No vivid dreams of course, a shipwreck maybe and some elevator descending, lack of control or whatever bullshit he read once. He could still dream though, a miserable reminder he was still human. 

He was always mean. The world didn’t care to mold someone into being nice. What would that even be? He thought nice meant exchange. Be nice and you’d get a pair of shoes. Act nice and you’ll get to watch TV. Treat others with respect and you’d be the family’s topic of discussion over Christmas. Sure, there were selfless people, he wasn’t crazy to think there weren’t a few of them left. You’d be his prime example. And you weren’t even stupid. But your willingness to help and give bordered exploitation. It hit him like lightning. You needed to get away, the real world was doing damage to people like you. If you were with him, you wouldn't have to think twice about being taken advantage of. He’d still be mean, you wouldn’t change that. But at least you’d sleep assured knowing that he’d never, ever demand something from you. Well…besides your presence, though he’d take you as you are, so in retrospect you’d come to appreciate him for the service. 

When he came to pick you up (abduct sounded rough—you’d also want this eventually) you had just finished work. To others you seemed fine, to him you looked exhausted. No need for mask, no need for clothes, he had everything arranged. You hadn’t objected much, he tried the kind approach first, he had only asked you to go for a ride with him in a car he stole, something you’d never know. The place was a dump, a couch covered in dust and a rusty kitchen, but you’d both make it work. It wasn’t like he couldn’t find money. He would, eventually. He remembers the way your eyes widened, what were you expecting, a trip to the countryside for some mimosas? You should’ve known better. ‘’What are we doing here?’’ You had asked, looking him in the eyes, you seemed frightened like the first time you saw him in the alley, it all ends in the beginning of the cycle, such a paradox, he thought. ‘’This is our new place.’’ He cooed as he approached you, you took a step back. There really was no reason for you to be scared, you’d grow to understand the only thing scaring you would be losing him. 

He had tried to kiss you but you protested, pushing him away, a shame really and he wanted to continue with the nice approach. Well then again nice didn’t really exist so it wouldn't have worked anyway. He kissed you, your mouth was closed but not for long before it was forced open, arms snaking around your waist and pinning you to a wall collecting condensation since god knows when. He was on your neck, kissing, biting, frenzied moves really, he needed you more than he needed whatever kept him alive. Three months ago, he stopped thinking. Now, the only thing he thought was you. He dragged you to the dusty sofa, he thought of using his quirk to burn the fabric, but ripping it out came naturally. You were laid out naked and shivering, his hands grabbed your waist—was this warm enough for you? You whispered something, maybe it was louder than a whisper, stop or whatever but he couldn’t listen. He found your cunt immediately, he was almost drooling at the sight, when was he that hungry ever again? Something about your life. People behind. You said something, he didn’t listen. You weren’t that wet like the first time, he understood. Women, they need emotional connection. Maybe a sloppier kiss to get them going. He found your mouth again, forcing you to kiss him back while he gorged on yours, a small movement in your hips, a pad of his finger back on your cunt. Wetter, perfect. He slid up a finger, curling it while his thumb grazed over your clit, you whimpered. That was a sound he could finally register. He’d bring back that smile, but it’d be for him only. One finger turned to two and eventually three, he needed to stretch you out to take him, nothing had changed since the first time, just his eagerness. His cock throbbed in his black pants, he wanted to taste you. 

You moaned and attempted to touch his hair. He didn’t mind but this wasn’t the time. He moved his head lower, spreading your thighs open and spitting on your clit. Spittle dripped down your slit and his index finger trailed it along the entrance, earning him a moan. See, you already enjoyed this too much. This would be your life now on, he’d fuck you till you wouldn’t want another thing. Captivity had a good side after all. He’d treat you so well, he wouldn’t even have to force all that domestic bullshit on you. You’d do it willingly. He eats your cunt out like it's the most sacred meal, sloppily and without coordination, pushing his tongue inside and gripping your thighs forcefully and what is this? You buck your hips up, wanting more, needy little slut. Perfect, so perfect for making him stop thinking. Making him forget. His cock must leak precum, it feels uncomfortable and he wants you to coat his tongue, he really does, but please understand, he needs you. Now. To bother removing his pants fully would be hilarious, he has neither time nor desire to do so, they’re slid down half way, his cock jumps on his abdomen and he gives it an impatient stroke—looking at you always. Let me go. You say, what? Were you stupid? Right before the best part? Right before the start of a new life? Of a life you should be living years ago? Delusional, you’re delusional. ‘’You love me, baby.’’ He tells you and lets his cockhead slip in your entrance, bit by bit until he’s bottomed out and you wince, he doesn’t move just for a second, this should be enough and then starts thrusting without consideration. Like it’s an incentive, like you’re a hole that needs filling, a mere means to an end. You protest a bit more, if you get louder he might have to get violent on you, please understand he doesn’t want this. You’ll get it, eventually. He can’t decipher the look on your face, it certainly doesn’t scream happy like in the photo. 

And then he’s reminded of the photo and a rage is born. ‘’Did he fuck you this good?’’ He spears his cock inside, you are hitting against the arm of the couch, your mouth contracts and you dampen his cock, so he must be doing something right. ‘’Tell me, did he fuck this cunt?’’ He asks and you just moan—are you dumb? Why aren’t you answering? His arms envelop your throat, pressing on the carotid artery as your muffled moans get even more constricted, he spits on your face and demands an answer. Dirty. Slut. Dirty. ‘’N-o’’ comes out your mouth. He hadn’t tainted you? He hadn’t touched you. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ He wipes the saliva off your cheeks, it’s so...wet? Are you crying? Why are you crying? He hates it. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ He kisses you while he plunges deeper, you groan and try to avoid him, stop doing this, you’re his now, it’s final. ‘’I’ll make you feel better, alright?’’ He breathes out, he knows you like his fingers, he knows. His thumb circles achingly, longingly even on your puffy clit while you clench around him, your breathing is labored, you have to cum—cum now! On his cock, show him how much you love him. A few more strokes and he has you clamping down, more tears, so many tears and you moan out his fake name, with anger maybe or an orgasm high, he can’t tell and he doesn’t care either, it’s enough. He needs to steal a kiss one last time and feel the way you squeeze and soak all around to let his load paint you white, maybe he is like a woman after all, longing for emotion, even when he has to fulfill plain instincts. You don’t talk after it, you don’t even blink, you aren’t passed out, are you? He wasn’t that hard, come on now. He has to remove himself, clean you up, the couch and he the least of his priorities. You need to get accustomed. You’ll love it. 

You never ask. About the photo. About your family. About anything prior. But that’s not something he dwells upon, he doesn’t like to look back. You still sleep next to him, well, there aren’t many other options available, yet you do. You still breathe softly in your sleep, he still hugs you from behind. You’ve become a sedative, a very much needed one. He dreams some days, an elevator falling, a shipwreck. Only, you’re there this time. 

The few days he remembers the dream, he appreciates the company. He can only hope you do, too. 

[ranhaitanisgf]

hi! could i request headcanons or oneshot (either is okay) for bonten timeline sanzu haruchiyo with an excitable, extroverted reader? thank you so much, and no worries if not! (+ also your theme still says rqs are closed, but i saw you posted them being open two hrs ago :3)

pay attention to me!!

synopsis: how would bonten haruchiyo act w/ an excited & extroverted s/o?

☆ a/n ˎˊ˗ idk if yall can tell but ive never written for mr haru lawl ... also !! i added a little mini oneshot cause i couldn't help myself :3 thank you so much for requesting !! this was so cute to write !! i hope everyone enjoysss xoxo

☆ characters ˎˊ˗ sanzu (akashi) haurchiyo x g/n!reader

☆ wc ˎˊ˗ 2.7k+

masterlist

❥ sanzu thinks you’re annoying at first. 

❥ he doesn’t notice at all when you first move into his apartment building; he doesn’t take much care in noticing small things like that if it didn’t relate to bonten. his work and mikey were the only important things to him, so when he hears excited squealing seeping through his walls one day, he thinks that his neighbor has a kid, (which quite frankly annoyed him, but he decided he didn’t care enough to do anything about it). 

❥ there was no estimated time as to when he would get home--ranging anywhere from 6pm to 4am--so it takes at least a month or two for him to meet you officially. coincidentally, he had been going out to grab a drink from the convenience store when you were excitedly jumping around outside your door, a delivery package in your hands. 

“oh! omg, are you sanzu-san?!” “...hah? who’re you?” “oh my gosh, i’ve been knocking on your door everyday for the past month, but you never seemed to be home! i never got to introduce myself to you! i’m (l/n) (y/n)! i moved in not that long ago, so i wanted to get to know my neighbors!”  “‘kay. bye.” 

❥ the only thing he wants to do is get away from you; he doesn’t want to be bothered with civilians, much less someone as annoying as you seemed to be. seriously, why were you talking so loud?!

❥ much to his displeasure, you followed him all the way to the convenience store, talking his ear off about the most meaningless things he’s ever heard of in his life, (how does somebody talking about nothing for so long?!) as he purchases his drinks and walks back to the apartment building. it takes everything in him not to snap at you; if he did, he would probably wake up all the neighbors from raising his voice, which wouldn’t be ideal since this was already his fifth apartment in the last six months. 

❥ he’s unsure how you possibly couldn’t get a hint that he didn’t want to be bothered, especially after he only said a maximum of ten words to you in the whole thirty minutes you were following him around, (are you really that clueless? is this what loneliness does to people?). it does take him by surprise that you aren’t scared of him though; you’d shown absolutely no sign of apprehension despite the scars around his mouth, which he supposes shows a bit of good character from you. not that he really cares. 

❥ he’s more than happy to shut the door on your face when he gets back to his apartment, finally indulging in the peace and quiet of his apartment, (he doesn’t think he’s ever been so happy to hear nothing). right when he’s opening his bottle of sake, he hears squealing through the walls. when you start monologuing about whatever you’d received in the mail, he just decides to quit and go to bed. 

❥ sanzu isn’t sure how, but you have somehow made it your routine to follow him places whenever you ran into him. he also isn’t sure why he continuously allows you to tag along with him, but as long as it doesn’t affect his work, he doesn’t really care. 

❥ you’re always talking about something; the weather, your coworker’s strange behavior the other day, or the stray cat you saw in the alleyway that ran away. there are times when he tunes out your talking and uses it as white noise, but you never seemed to get upset at the fact that he visibly is zoning out. 

❥ after a while, he gets used to your constant presence around him, so much so that he finds it strange to not hear your excited yammering while he’s at work, (although he supposes he wouldn’t want to have that constantly in his ear while he’s doing ‘business’ with someone). 

❥ the one thing that gets the attention of the rest of the bonten executives is when he suddenly stops going to the clubs, leaving whatever work he had there for during the day when it was barren. it was such a drastic change in behavior; sure, sanzu was never the type to be obsessed with the scantily dressed girls in the club, but he was known for taking some home every once in a while. at the very least, he was known for getting various types of substances from sketchy dealers who frequently attended. what’s even stranger to everyone is the fact that he slowly starts to engage in less substances, (though he still does every once in a while) which is what rings the alarm bells. 

“oi, sanzu.” “what do you want, ran? i’m fuckin’ busy.”  “well, it can wait. the fuck’s been up with you lately? you’ve been acting weird as shit.” “so?”  “so, what the hell’s been up with you?” “none of your goddamn business, that’s what.”  “woahh, easy there, man. seriously, somethin’ bothering you?”  “i said it’s nothing, so drop it.”

❥ by the time he realizes what he’s been doing, it’s too late for him. you and your talkative self have wiggled their way into his heart, setting up camp to stay for a while. he had a glimpse of a thought of it when ran was confronting him, but he immediately pushed it out of his mind because how could that possibly be true? 

❥ it can’t be true, even if he unwillingly likes to think about it now. he can’t let himself think about it; you were one of the most strange yet innocent and pure people he’s ever met, so how could he willingly taint you with someone like himself? no, he wouldn’t let it happen.

❥ and just like that, everything seems to be back to normal for him. he goes to the club even more than he did before, and the amount of substances he uses seems to increase exponentially by the week. he begins to sleep on the couch in his dingy office instead of going home so that he doesn’t run into you, only going home for the bare essentials every couple days, (and even then, he leaves after just a few minutes). 

❥ it’s just his luck that he gets out of his car the moment you turn the corner onto the apartment building’s block, seeing him in plain sight as he freezes for a moment. and then he unfreezes because 1.) why is he of all people scared to run into you? he’s a bonten executive, he’s killed people before, so why was his heart beating so fast right now? and 2.) he needs to get away from there. right now. 

˗ˏˋ𖤐ˎˊ˗

“hey!! not so fast, haruchiyo!!” you shout, your steps hastening as you try to catch up with him. sanzu can hear your steps behind him, but his long legs give him the advantage as he quickly ducks into the apartment building, smashing the elevator button and tapping his foot as it decides to be as slow as it possibly can be. 

he lets out a ‘tsk!’ sound when he notices you enter the building, promptly looking away from you and looking cooly at the blinker indicating what level the elevator was on, (can this thing move faster?!). 

“stop ignoring me!! where have you been?!” you questioned, your voice a mix of worry and anger. “i’ve been knocking on your door everyday with no response!! i know you don’t particularly like me, but you’re the only person who doesn’t walk away from me, so could you at least give me a reason that you suddenly started avoiding me?!” 

“...’m not avoiding you.” sanzu doesn’t know what to do right now; he’s never seen you angry like this before. typically, he would care less about the feelings of some random person like you, but for some reason the hurt in your voice makes him unusually unsure of himself. 

you scoffed at his lame excuse, rolling your eyes. 

“look! you’re trying to avoid me right now with elevator! seriously, can you just tell me what i did? i won’t do it again, i swear! just stop avoiding me!” 

“fuck, it’s not you!” sanzu suddenly said, his voice strained. “i’m just busy, okay?! you’re better off being friends with someone else.” 

“but you’re already my friend!! why don’t you want to keep talking to me??” sanzu ignored your words, his gaze staring straight ahead at the doors of the elevator, his stare so intense that you could almost think he was trying to open it telepathically. “hey!! can you just answer the damn question already, haruchiyo?!” 

“why do you need to know so fuckin’ badly?! i just said i’m busy!!” 

“because! i like you!” you yelled, your eyes seeming to get a bit watery. “and i know you don’t like me and that’s fine but i just want to be able to talk to you and see you sometimes, but now you’re always gone and i don’t know when you’re going to come back and it scares me! i just-” 

sanzu cut off your words, promptly stepping in front of you and slipping his hand behind your head, slamming his lips into yours. he’s not even sure himself why he did something stupid like this, especially when the whole reason he was avoiding you was because of his own flaws, but he couldn’t help himself when he heard you being so cute and worried over him, (seriously, how was he supposed to resist something like that?). 

it obviously took you off guard at first, but sanzu made sure you quickly realized what was going on, his mouth desperately pressing against yours. his kiss was rough but passionate, his lips moving quickly against yours as he pulled you closer to him, his other hand sliding around you to rest on the small of your back, (he’s doing it purely out of instinct; he hasn’t really thought about how he had been avoiding you for this very reason). 

a small ding! from the elevator grabs your attention, making you push him off of you as someone comes out from the elevator, glancing at the two of you a bit suspiciously before walking out of the building, leaving both of you in silence. 

“uh…wanna go to the convenience store for snacks…?”

˗ˏˋ𖤐ˎˊ˗

❥ it took a little bit for sanzu to open up to you about anything even a little bit, but once he did, you were able to figure him out pretty quickly, especially when he’d finally decided to be truthful about his actual profession, (bro does not work an office 9-5). due to all of this, it’s easy to tell that sanzu has a lot of issues, but it wasn’t something that you weren’t willing to work through with him!

❥ the two of you are the definition of black cat and golden retriever! you are always excited about everything and are taking him to all the cool and trendy places on dates while he is more quiet, keeping close to your side and watching everything with a careful eye, (especially people he defines as creeps, i.e. people who look at you for more than 0.2 seconds). 

❥ date wise, he is usually following your lead. he doesn’t have the slightest clue about what you think it romantic, so it will usually be you planning outings for the two of you. a lot of times he will complain about being tired and not wanting to go out, but don’t worry, he’s completely lying; he just thinks it’s cute when you whine and pull his arm asking him to come out with you. 

❥ despite the fact that he is not the most romantic guy, he does a lot of romantic things without realizing. he enjoys sending you your favorite flowers when you’re at work or staying at home while he’s at work, sending cute little notes along with them, (well, you think they are pretty cute). 

i think you like these ones. -h be ready by seven. wear something you feel good in. -h sorry i didn’t buy milk. there’s frozen waffles in the freezer. -h

❥ sanzu does a lot of those little things for you too; opening doors for you, pulling chairs out for you, taking things out of your hands when you’re carrying a lot, etc. it doesn’t seem like he’s the type to do things like this, but it’s because he isn’t the type to do it. he only does it for you, and he himself doesn’t even know why he does these things, (he’s head over heels in love with you, but in no universe will he ever actually admit that). 

❥ the most protective over you, and a little possessive too. he doesn’t control everything that you do, but he likes to have a clear-cut plan of everything you do on a normal day so that his mind is put at ease, (also so he can known when something is wrong). he won’t tell you this, but he has someone assigned to keeping an eye on your as you go about your day because he’s extremely paranoid that somebody from an opposing gang will try and come after you. he would prefer if he could by your side himself, but it’s the next best option, (he still sends frequent texts and calls you throughout the day to make sure everything is well). 

❥ the possessive part of him comes out more when he thinks people are hitting on you, (they really are just being nice; he’s just a little bit crazy…he loves you though!!). he doesn’t hesitate to slide his long arms all around you, letting you continue talking while he makes a deadly eye contact with the person, his face twisted in mild disgust as if he were looking down at a cockroach, (he’s mastered this expression somehow). he knows that you enjoy talking with people so he won’t keep you from doing so, but in the process he will make sure that everybody knows you’re his. 

❥ sanzu’s not the most affectionate person there is, but he is affectionate when he wants to be. there are times when he’ll come home and not say a word, just wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head in the crook of your neck, mumbling something about having a terrible day. really, he just becomes a big baby when he’s like that, laying his lanky limbs all over you and claiming that he’s ‘recharging’. 

❥ it’s hard to label sanzu as an extrovert/introvert, since it can really depend on what mood he’s in and the situation. he’s more of an introvert in public settings with other people, (he doesn’t know how to interact nicely with people he doesn’t know) but when he’s with a majority of people he knows, he turns into more of an extrovert which matches with your energy quite nicely. 

❥ unintentionally, there comes a time when you accidentally get to meet the rest of his coworkers. it happened when they were dropping him back off at home after a night at the club and you’d had to come get him from the car because of how inebriated he was. 

“woah, you’re (y/n), huh?”  “oh, yes! it’s nice to meet you! you all must work with haru, right? please continue to take good care of him! would you like to come inside for a snack or some water?”  “...dude, what the fuck.”  “how the hell did he bag someone like that?!” 

❥ safe to say, they are all extremely shocked, (they never would have thought that someone like sanzu would be dating someone as sweet and talkative as you). the next day when he gets into work, he’s immediately hounded with all types of questions surrounding you and how the two of you started to date. 

“holy shit, is that why you were acting crazy a few months ago?!”  “i wasn’t acting fuckin’ crazy?!” “sanzu, you’re the craziest person here, and you started acting normal!! that was crazy!!” 

❥ after that, he makes sure that his associates never get to see you again, (“hey, bring your pretty lil thing around sometime!”, “i would rather kill you right now.”).

[rachetmath]

Jaune More MC Ruby?

Ruby: That’s why I’m the MC and you're the side character.

Jaune: So because you have silver eyes you’re special?

Ruby: Yep.

Jaune: Even though I cheated Beacon.

Ruby: Yep.

Jaune: I was bullied.

Ruby: Yep.

Jaune: My partner is dead. And because I let my guard down, Ozpin died, and Oscar had no choice but to come on this journey. You know,  because of me.

Ruby: Yep.

Jaune: And because Cinder, who works under Salem killed my partner, I have beef with the main villain and her whole crew.

Ruby: Yeah.

Jaune: Salem, who I have way more in common with than most people, the deemed goddess I’m defying her, just like she did with the brothers over a loved one's death. Are you following me so far?

Ruby: … Yeah…

Jaune: Hazel, who mind you, lost his sister. He lost his sister because of the world Ozpin had created, like I did, with Pyrrha.

Qrow: She had a choice.

Jaune: A few days' choice which turned into minutes when Beacon was attacked. Then discovering how bad the situation is, you know with Salem being immortal, I almost hurt if not killed Oscar, making me at the spur of the moment,  just as bad as Hazel. And mind you I was willing to fight you on that.

Ruby: Uh… yeah…

Jaune: Tyrian, has the opposite to my semblance. Wasn’t he more interested in me than you? And you were his target.

Ruby: Mmhmm.

Jaune: Let’s talk about Cinder again. Cinder had two stray kids who followed her. I have Ren and Nora. Neither have parents. Also, we both want power but for different reasons. We even have different views on destiny.

Ruby: Oh damn.

Jaune: Atlas. Oscar did Ironwood not act like how I did in Argus but worse?

Oscar: Yeah he did. Jaune even saw Salem in person before you did.

Yang: So did we. You saw her face to face.

Oscar: I’m Ozpin. What is that supposed to mean?

Ruby: Oscar, not helping.

Jaune: Neo. We both lost our partners. The difference is that I have friends while she has none. The cat, him, and I almost have the same ability except he manipulates your soul or takes it. He might as well have been a devil version of me.

Weiss: O. Dear lord.

Jaune: Watts. … … … You know what no. He-he was no. Like he could have done better, he’s an example of being smart yet making the dumbest choices. 

Weiss: True.

In the Twilight

Watts: What?! My decision was understandable.

Ironwood: No. No, they were not.

Penny: Like you could have logically put your two weeks in and left for another kingdom. Or country. Like Vale. Mistral. Anywhere. You could have helped where you could've been needed. Which would have made you better than my father.

Watts: I wasted my life.

Back to Remnant 

Ruby: Um….

Jaune: You know what I have to ask this question. What is the moral of the story and how does your character fit into this?

Ruby: Well my-

Jaune: Let me retort. I lied. I was bullied. I had no idea about anything in the hunting world. I needed a teacher. I lost someone important to me. I have beef with the main villains. I train to get stronger to be of use to others.

Ruby: So?

Jaune: Okay. No one believed in me. But I still went to chase my goal. I lost the best thing in my life. I still moved forward. I had to kill someone. Still moved forward. I’m an old man trapped in a boy's body. Still moving forward. Fighting the odds that are stacked against me. I have seven who no one knows about. Yet your family is more interesting.

Ruby: Your point?

Jaune: The moral of the story is that no matter your circumstance you can always be better. Never allow destiny or grief to influence your entire life. No matter what odds that stand before you,  you can ultimately change your fate. And no matter the darkness a simple soul can light up the night and unite everyone against a greater evil. Even when the whole world is against you, you are never alone to endure it. If we stand united and look past our differences only then the wor;d would be a better place.

Ruby: Well my mom died at Salem’s hands.

Jaune: And?

Ruby: It's still relevant.

Jaune: You're right. But how many times has your mother been mentioned and you bothered to get information about her?

Yang: I-

Jaune: Bitch shut the fuck up. You were looking for the deadbeat mom more than the mom who stepped up.

Ruby: Well um… um…. Damn. Oh, but I-

Jaune: You weren’t the sword. I may not have known Penny as long as you, but the fact, that I could've saved her proved her death hit harder than Pyrrha's. I’m close to walking in Raven’s path.

Ruby: Shit.

Jaune: And back to your mother. She was a silver-eyed warrior. But Salem is still here. Do silver eyes work on her?

Ruby: Um.

Jaune: Because Salem is still both the brothers' creation. The old humanity. She can't be phased by the black liquid even though everything they touch decays. 

Ruby: She's immortal.

Jaune: Yeah but again when Maria told you her story didn't she try using her silver eyes on humans and it didn't work? 

Ruby: Cinder.

Jaune: Grimm arm.

Ruby: The hound. 

Blake: Silver-eyed person too but only stunned them.

Ruby: Blake.

Blake: What a minute he had animalistic ears. Should I be concerned for my people?

Jaune: Yeah… we’re not getting into that. The point is if you go see Salem and your silver eyes don't work then your mom died for nothing.

Ruby: Oo. Um…

Jaune: And let's get back to the other villains. Besides Emerald, Mercury, and Tyrian, some of them have valid reasons to join Salem. 

Ren: Jaune!

Jaune: Ren, your village got destroyed.

Ren: Nevermind.

Me: Hold up. Let me start. With Cinder, a huntsman saw what she was going through and didn't bother to help her. She was alone. The world abandoned her.  

Jaune: So Hazel was right. In fact, Raven had a point.

Oscar(Ozpin): Mr. Arc I-

Jaune: Motherfucker Hazel had every right to be angry. Dude shadow missions involve us going with experienced hunters. Yet his sister died and Ruby could’ve died. Shadowing them. Following their lead. Does that not show how bad the hunting system is? Not just that we got hunters who died in the line of duty. Not to mention how some were sexually harassing the girls.  And some of them are just plain crazy or assholes. Not to mention Blake, Qrow, and Raven. You let them in. And to make matters worse you chose Pyrrha, a first-year student, to be your maiden.

Oscar(Ozpin): She was my best option. 

Jaune: So Glynda wasn't on the table? A high-ranked fourth-year student wasn't on the table? Man, at least you could have chosen Ruby considering she has silver eyes and is a young upcoming prodigy. That would have made her more important. Like Ozpin Ruby off the bat was better than Pyrrha.

Qrow: Hey, I would have stopped that.

Jaune: O, so… it was okay with Pyrrha… but not your niece. I see. Hypocrite.

Qrow: Damn. Set myself up for that.

Jaune: Watts, despite his stupidity, had a point. James would abuse any source of technology just to have some level of control over something. Why did you think he wanted your sister instead of Penny? Why do you think he wanted Amity up as quickly as possible? Why do you think he hacked into Penny? Everything was always about control.

Weiss: Well our lives weren't easy.

Jaune: That I won't deny. Yet we are all still bad people.

Yang: Jaune my mother -

Jaune: Raven and Summer left you. Summer no one cared enough to talk about. Raven doesn't matter at all. Willow waited until her children were teenagers or young adults to start dealing with an abusive father. And Kali… yeah she should have slapped some sense into her daughter. 

Weiss: Well your mom doesn't love you.

Jaune: Don't care. Back to Jacque though how does he and James know each other? Why do they have beef with one another? Unless… o. Oh no. Don't tell me. Did James set Jacque up with Willow? And in return, he helps James rise to power. Or did James love Willow but because of his career he couldn't marry her? Could Winter be-

Weiss: Please stop. I do not need those theories in my head.

Jaune: Fine. The point I'm trying to make is… … well how about you explain.

Me: It's crazy how Jaune fits the main character role better than Ruby.

[merlinmarvelandother-oneshots]

Hi! Your requests are open right? If so could you write undertale headcanons about a reader who selfharms? Nothing too graphic or anything ofc and totally understand if you're not okay with this :)

I also saw that you did Au's so would it be okay to do this but with the skeleton brother's from undertale, underfell and underswap? (Not the version where people think blue acts like a kid tho please)

Again if you're not okay with this I 100% understand and won't be upset at all :) I write my own headcanons but I prefer reading other people's (I'm not stealing tho dw)

Sorry it's a lot of text and have a great day/night :)

you got it, anon! it totally bothers me when people write blue like he's a child, too.

(my first request on tumblr let's go)

undertale, underfell, and underswap skeleton brothers with a reader who self harms

TW for self harm. if you self harm, there is help. it can get better. talk to a friend or a loved one, or my DMs are open.

Undertale:

Sans:

-he had noticed you acting weird lately.

-distant, almost.

-when he finally pressed you about it, you broke down into tears and told him you self harm.

-"oh, kiddo. c'mere."

-he wraps you tightly in a hug.

-asks you what you use, and asks you to hand it over.

-he tells you that if you ever need anything, or even just to talk, he's free. it doesn't matter what it is, he'll make time for you.

Papyrus:

-he asked you for several weeks what the matter was

-you finally caved and told him

-he was frozen in shock. what could possibly make you do that to yourself? he doesnt understand.

-he suddenly engulfs you into a hug.

-"i will help you get better, human! i promise!"

-he asks you that while you start to heal (both physically and from whatever was going on mentally that made you do it) that you dont do it again.

-he starts cooking for you. like, a lot.

Underfell:

Sans:

-it was an accident that he saw it. your hoodie sleeve rolled up while you were grabbing something and he caught a glance of your injuries.

-he harshly grabs your wrist.

-"who the hell did this to you?"

-you were barely audible when you said that you did it to yourself.

-the harshness in his eyes softened.

-"kid... c'mon, there's better ways to cope."

-he won't admit it to you, but after the monsters were freed from the underground, the stress of it all brought him to self harm for a period of time, too.

-which is why it's all the more important to him that you stop.

-becayse he knows what a slippery slope it is.

-"kid, you gotta promise me you'll cut that out. we can get you help. i ain't much of a therapist, but goddamn it, for you, i'll try."

Papyrus:

-he had to pull an aggressive monster off of you.

-he knew that because he was a member of the royal guard, and therefore disliked by many, that you would be a target.

-he had to take your hoodie off so he could tend to the wounds on your arms.

-"it's fine. don't worry about it," you had said.

-"no, you must let me do this. it is my fault he hurt you. you must let me help you."

-knowing he wouldn't give in, you relented.

-it was when you took your hoodie off that he saw your injuries, even though you tried your best to hide them.

-"human, these have been here for quite a while. who did this to you?" anger was evident in his tone, though he tried to hide it, so you wouldn't think it was directed at you.

-he obviously didn't believe you when you said it was an incident with a stray cat.

-"it's... i do it to myself, dammit!" you said. tears filled your eyes and your voice wavered.

-"that is unacceptable! you must quit this right now, do you understand me?"

-he didn't mean to sound so harsh, only stern. but if it got the point across, it didn't matter much to him.

-"now, tell me, why is it you do this?"

-he listens closely as you open up to him. he'll make you feel better, one way or another.

Underswap:

Sans:

-he knew something was off about you. what it was, though, he couldn't quite figure out.

-so, he asked you.

-"it's nothing," you had said. "nothing you need to worry about."

-"but don't you trust me?" he asked.

-that made you hesitate.

-a few days later, you told him. you didn't show him, but you told him.

-"but why would you do that to yourself? you are amazing, human! you have so much good in you. can't you see that? can't you see that you don't deserve it?"

-but you told him that you didn't know what he saw. you didn't see the good in you. and you're you! don't you know yourself best?

-he started listing off your great qualities, arguing with you when you wondered what the fuck he was going on about.

-he vowed that, no matter how long it took, he would make you see yourself as worthy again.

-but until then, he just made you promise to stop.

Papyrus:

-he had his suspicions for a while.

-the way you always wore long sleeves, no matter how hot it was.

-how distant you were, never telling anybody how you felt.

-he knew something was going on. so, he decided to see if his suspicions were true.

-it took a little coaxing, but you confirmed them. you were, in fact, self harming.

-he (like Fell Sans) also used to self harm. and he told you that.

-he asks you why, and he listens carefully as you tell him.

-he rubs your back from his position next to you on his couch as he says, "i need you to stop, okay? i understand it's going to be hard. i understand that it feels like you have to. but you can't, okay? you just can't. only once you stop can you start feeling better about yourself."

-he takes whatever you use away from you, and watched you closely, occasionally asking you to let him look for more scars.

[silliest-basilisk]

ok so i watched cinderella's castle and uh. ok here are my thoughts: first of all, the things i loved:

the puppets! thats what i was most excited about when it came to this show, and boy they definitely delivered. sir hop-a-lot and crumb were my favourite part of the show, and jon and joey knocked it out of the park as them!

the set design and lighting! i really loved the set, and the way they played with lighting was GENIUS. the fairy queen's entrance, and the way they used the blacklight during ella's entrance with the starlight dress so that you only saw the dress was amazing.

THE COSTUMES!!! they were gorgeous god!!

the choreography!! very nice as always :}

now onto the things i liked less...

way too many sex jokes for my taste. i know it's starkid but they don't usually lay it on this thick. it just made me cringe.

speaking of, i just generally didn't like the character of the prince very much. i found his style of humour kinda clashed with the tone of the show. james tolbert's acting definitely saved the character imo

and the absolute biggest disappointment for me: the soundtrack. god i'm sorry jeff really shat the bed with this one. purely sound-wise it's fine (though i'm not really a huge fan of the poppy feel of the music. i think the inclusion of electronic music is very interesting, but i personally would've preferred a more baroque rock type sound but that's just personal preference), but the songs were just extremely un-theatre-like. they suffer from what i lovingly call the "dear evan hansen problem": they're generic and vague songs where the character just sings about one feeling throughout the whole song. there's no evolution, which is KEY in musical theatre. for almost all the songs except the fairy queen's and one other song in act 2, i was just sitting there like "...ok? why is this song happening? it's telling me nothing". you could cut like 90% of the songs from this show out and you could still understand the plot perfectly well. the most egregious example being right at the start - the opening number. an opening number is supposed to introduce us to the world and the characters, and the opening number of this show does... neither. it just tells us there's. a castle on a hill??? ok??? what do i care??? the songs also feel very short - likely due to the lack of a bridge in most of them. bridges are important in musical theatre!!! they're usually the turning point of a song!! without one, this show's soundtrack feels empty and like it's missing something. and unfortunately, the overall poor quality of the other parts of the music also highlights jeff's poor lyricism. i can usually let it slide because the other aspects of the soundtrack are very good, but this time it's just... no. nobody's ever strung these words together in the history of man. fuck you mean "a cat that was strayed"??? nobody says that!!! god!!! also why are they talking about "neon lights" when the universe we're in is a medieval fantasy? i would've excused it normally, but earlier in the show, they SPECIFICALLY avoid mentioning a modern invention when the prince says he "dodged a sword thrust" instead of "dodged a bullet". so yeah overall, i feel like this show could've used a different songwriter, perhaps someone like the aj holmes and kaley mcmahon duo from twisted? but yeah those are my thoughts. no shade to you if you loved the ost, but i just personally found it weak! OH AND ALSO ELLA'S OUTFIT POST-RESURRECTION WAS A DOWNGRADE SORRY NOT SORRY!!!

[z0rrp]

IMPORTANT!

(The @lorrainailurophile and @sweetswirlybread drama)

Hey, honestly I didn’t rly want to write another post about stinkyswirlybreast but here we are😔

As an irl friend of muri cat (proofs will be down below) I think I had to write something about this situation.

I’m pretty new to the ranfren oc fandom, or ranfren in general, in fact my main account is a gravity falls vlog where I just reblog stuff.

BUT because muri is in the fandom for a LONG time (compared to me ofc) I know most dramas that have happened before I joined.

So about muri being a copy of murdurer:

I saw her in real life, and yes she DOES look like stray muri (just shorter and darker hair).

And I WAS on calls with her while she drew muri cat and I confirm that she WASNT copying faces/ poses from murdurer.the reason she can’t show speedpaints is because she BROKE HER PHONE (proof will also be below) and she got a new phone recently,so her drawings did NOT save.

The theory of sweetswirlybread being in fact saladcat:

Look, in my point of view, both salad cat and sweetswirlybread are rage bait accounts that are just beefing with everyone even if they are on THEIR side, which is weird yk. For example @satanwater , who DOES believe that muri could copy murdurer, but against the actions of sweetswirlybread (you can read more in her “Debunking the recent ranfren dramas” post) BY THE WAY I have nothing against satanwater,she ,as a viewer of the situation IS allowed to have her opinion,PLEASE do NOT send her hate comments.

Talking about her (satanwater’s) post, she ALSO believes that sweetswirlybread IS in fact saladcat.i can also recommend reading her post because there she does have some types of proofs that im too lazy to write lol.

In conclusion, my opinion as an irl friend is that muri is obviously NOT copying.and sweetswirlybread is an obviously an extreme ragebait account that has to be blocked.

Zeer zab zab mimimi!🐛🐛❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

Important!

The reason why my phone is on Russian and we speak English is because I came from another country 🐛🐛❤️❤️🙏

(muri cat did give me permission to post those)

(And no I am NOT abusing her❤️🐛🙏🙏)

Proof that I AM an irl friend of muri and im not a schizo

And proof that she ACTUALLY broke her phone

[romana-after-dark]

Flightless Bird, Fat House Cat: The Wrong Way Anniversary

The Wrong Way Universe

Title taken from a song on the playlist, Flightless Bird American Mouth by Iron and Wine.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WHEN I FIRST POSTED THE WRONG WAY!!!!

I could never comprehend the love I got from this series.

Due to everything happening and the targeted harassment, I can't celebrate the way I want to but I couldn't pass up an opprituniety to celebrate this story.

Three POV's, Tommy, Lorenzo and Jack. I know Jack got v little play in TWW as he was just on the side in case I needed him (and I did end up needing him!) But through talking to Clem, Mary, Kate about the universe in this last year, he also has a special place in my heart and in Stolen Lullaby, aka my reworking of this story into a dark novell, he will have more of a roll. IDK if I ever mentioned it, but his faceclaim to me is Garrett Hedlund in his most yeehaw looks.

Because of everything, reblogs are disabled because I don't want attention to this blog and I'm taking a risk posting this but I want to be brave for this story. After this, I'll be gone for a bit so check out romana_rose for updates until this is over. If you enjoyed this, please leave a commnt. I need it right now.

I can never thank you guys enough for all the love you'e given the wrong way and the sequel series, Ghost of You and Going Under. This series was so important to me to explore my own trauma, family, friendship, motherhood, fatherhood, brotherhood, siblings, found family, morality, manhood, victimhood, etc.

You are all so important to me, every like, comment, reblog ive gotten i've looked at and loved.

Here we go.

Very little Joel, but I promise we'll have more for the celebration of the finale in a few months when i hope I can celebrate properly. But, seeing as Joel is the bad guy, I thought more exploration of the side characters would be interesting.

*****************

If Tommy closed his eyes, he could imagine it was her.

Things had gotten better in the raiding house for her, even if Tommy had lost a lot of her attention. Since Zach had tried to take her away, her brother she thought was dead until that night, the girl had been… less than pleased with him. It was understandable, he knew. From her perspective, Tommy had known her only family left that hadn’t abused her was a still alive and he had kept it from her… but from Tommy’s perspective he was protecting her. She had said to him to him, the day thought fought, that the only person that can protect her from Joel, is Joel, and she was right. He couldn’t protect her if she left again. Last time she tried, strong thing she was, she was burned and humiliated.

Thing were better for her now.

Refusing to escape with Zach, which confused Lorenzo to no end, had made Joel trust her more, and now she had more freedom. She’d started cooking, which she seemed to like, and Joel had taken to finding items for her she needed. Lorenzo watched her when Tommy was busy. Jack even made her a birdfeeder, and she liked watching the birds fly in and out. Sometimes he wondered if she longed for the freedom they had. 

Flightless bird, wings clipped her whole life, subject to the whims of men. 

Sometimes he watched them too, Blue Jay’s and Robins and other kinds he didn’t know shit about. He thought next time he saw Maria, to ask if Jackson had any bird watching books… maybe the girl would like them, help pass her time. He wanted to fly away too, he wanted to leave, leave everything and take her with him… but he wasn’t a bird. He wasn’t a bird whose wings had been clipped, he didn’t have his freedom stolen away by cruel men wanting to possess and break down something less powerful than them. 

Tommy had given up his freedom to follow Joel, his brother, the only thing he had now. Tommy knew he was a cat, once a stray and free to follow his fancy but had grown complacent and comfortable and lazy. He was a fat house cat pretending to be a lion.

Instead of saving her, he was getting his dick sucked as he listened to her moan.

It wasn’t all that loud, you really had to listen to it to hear it and God… god did he listen. Tommy was sat on his chair, legs spread, Lorenzo on his knees sucking his cock. Everyone knew Lorenzo was gay, that’s why he was allowed to watch the girl. Jack, they couldn’t figure out yet. What Tommy did know is sometimes Jack and Lorenzo fooled around with each other, and after a few weeks he got in on the action. Tommy wasn’t gay, but a mouth was a mouth. Tommy couldn’t sneak out to Maria as often as he wanted and the girl wasn’t making things easier. Joel had taken to finding dresses for her and god, did she look cute. Happier too. Smiles and laughs and fresh air did him good. From what she had told him, she’d never known peace a day in her life. Between her dads physical and sexual abuse and selling her out to man after man, just letting them beat her for money… this was comparatively peaceful now that Joel had relaxed. Still, she wore that brand on her thigh, and constant reminder that his love was conditional. Tommy wasn’t sure the reminder was working.

He tried to focus on Lorenzo, his mouth taking him deeply inside… but most importantly, her voice. In the next room, Joel was fucking her and whatever he was doing it was making her go crazy. How was Tommy supposed to know what her pussy felt like and not think about it? Not remember what it was like sliding in? Not think of her beautiful smile, still gentle and tender and patient after everything she’d been through? Everytime Joel made her moan those sweet, sweet sounds he pictured it was him, and his hips buckled up a little.

He could pretend it was her pussy if he concentrated.

*

Lorenzo knew something was up.

He loved sucking dick, would rub himself through him pants until he came every time if he knew he wasn’t getting action back, and with Tommy he didn’t. Lorenzo knew Tommy was picturing a girl when he closed his eyes, that death grip on his chair so he didn’t touch Lorenzo’s head. The shaved head would throw him off, ruin the bit for him. Still, Lorenzo opened his eyes. Tommy was focused, teetering on that edge, that wide, barrel chest of his panting and panting… He really was handsome, as was Joel, the prick. If Lorenzo was in that girls position, and he wouldn’t be because he’d fucking leave, he would run away with Tommy before spending another day with Joel. What was Tommy waiting on? He had a pretty girl that clearly loved him, that he clearly loved even if he was a man whore.

Lorenzo didn’t really have room to talk, honestly.

It wasn’t like he was cheating on Zach. They weren’t dating; Lorenzo didn’t date point blank. They were just fucking. And cuddling after. And hanging out whenever they could both sneak away… So they watched shooting stars together and talked about their moms and sisters, so what? It was just sex. He was fooling himself and he knew it, but letting go of the delusion was too painful. They’d never have a normal life so what was the point.

Tommy came in his mouth, saltier than Zach but not as strong as Jack; that strong, musky taste that was so masculine Lorenzo couldn’t help but swallow down. Even subduing himself, Tommy was loud.

When he died down, that’s when Lornzo heard it.

The girl in Joel’s room, the next one over. She was moaning.

Lorenzo didn’t mind Tommy picturing a girl. He didn’t even mind that maybe he was picturing her. But something about the fact that Tommy was getting off to the sound of that girl’s moans, a private moment, a moment which although she was clearly enjoying now, had been brought about by kidnapping and violence, disgusted him. She was just a kid to him, and yeah he could be a dick but he didn’t want to think about the horrible shit she’d been through.

“You’re fucking pathetic, Tommy!” Lorenzo stood, flustered and embarrassed and fucking angry, he headed to the door.

Dumbfounded, Tommy blinked up at him. “What? You offered!”

Lorenzo whipped around, stormed back to Tommy who had stood up and stuffed his dick back into his pants and Lorenzo fisted his hand up in Tommy’s white shirt. 

“You’d rather listen to you brother fuck that terrified child than be a fucking man and take her away. You got all these excuses but the fact of the matter is Joel matters more to you than an innocent life. When she’s dead in the ground, remember this is how you spent your time.”

He was about to let go and walk away when Tommy had to open his big mouth. “I don’t see you do’n anything to help her.”

It wasn’t rational. Lorenzo really should care this much. He wasn’t supposed to be making friends or attachments, but here he was, he cared about Zach, he cared about Jack, he cared about the girl.

Lorenzo punched Tommy square in the jaw.

*

Jack found Lorenzo outside smoking a joint. He didn’t smoke weed but he pulled out his cigarette and joined him.  “What’d you do to Tommy? The girls there icing his face.” Unfortunately, Jack knew their routine. Sex, bath, sleep. When Joel carried her, wrapped up in a towel and laughing at something Joel said or falling asleep in his arms, Jack always turned away. It didn’t matter much considering he’d seen her completely nude when Joel violently took her after charring her flesh. Sometimes he swore he could still smell it. Still, he wanted to offer a bit of dignity.

Jack didn’t pretend to be a hero like Tommy, but he didn’t put on that fake asshole defense machanism Lorenzo did. He felt for the girl, he just wasn’t going to risk his skin to help her leave. So, unlike Lorenzo he didn’t tell her she was dumb for staying, and he tried to make little things for her here and there. He was working on whittling some dominos. Unlike Tommy, he didn’t promise to whisk her away. Middle ground.

Lorenzo rolled his eyes. “He’s a dick. Joel’s probably gonna clock me.”

But Jack waved him off. “I doubt it. He ain’t running to Joel to fight his battles. If he wanted you hurt, he’d’ve hit you back.”

Lorenzo sighed, but nodded and took a fat hit. “Which being logical, it’s annoying.”

Jack just chuckled. When they were done, they walk back inside the girl was icing Tommy’s face. After she’d exited the bath with Joel, cuddled up in a ratty towel, she saw Tommy exiting his room with a swollen eye and tapped Joel. Clearly he’d dressed her, and let her tend to him while he stood, arms crossed and glaring. He tried to get Tommy to tell him who did it, but Tommy insisted it was just a small beef with one of the men, but they’d handled it.

When Jack and Lorenzo entered the living room, the girl gave Lorenzo a death glare.

That child had been beaten within an inch of her life again and again and again, forced to suffer the worst thing imaginable and yet she still managed to be so uniquely her. Bravery despite it all.

Brave little bird.

*************

thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.

and thank you to everyone whose reached out in this trying time.

Tagging people who were active reachng TWW or who still talk to me about it. If you want to be tagged for the finale celebration, lmk!

If you liked, this series, Rooms on Fire has similar vibes.

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @milla-frenchy @pimosworld @miraclesabound @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @the-fox-den @lunar-ghoulie @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @pedge-page @koshkaj-blog @rubyfruitjungle @gogh-with-the-flow @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @justagalwhowrites

[whispering-jabberwocky]

Please tell us anything about your stupid story <3

If you don't know where to start, gimme your favourite worldbuilding idea, favourite plot point and favourite character dynamics :3

I had to get over being embarrassed to death ._.

This is a very Trust The Process work, so many things I think about and improve as I go. As a placeholder name for a benevolent goddess I put Lady Of The Feasts. At first I thought she is a minor one, a nice patron of good food or something. But then, I guess, Spiritual Senshi came to me, and I thought: wouldn't it make sense to make her the goddess of fire? And make her kind and benevolent, because fire means warmth, safety and food? That would also put her among gods supporting human civilisation, which will be important later on...

As for plot point: I have three main characters I focus on. One of them, Xander, is as I wrote once "like a stray cat, turned into a human". And as such, he wandered off into a god's death site, where he found god's corpse (duh). Upon touching it he saw... something... And now he doesn't know if it was a vision or a hallucination due to enviormental reasons (lots and lots of mold). And the only way to find out is to find another dead god.

And finally, the dynamic: this is about Xander again and his twin sister Roxana. As kids they were inseparable. Then, quite suddenly, Roxana was moved to the capital. There were no letters. No contact. Now she is suddenly back. But they are adults now. Xander is bitter, as he felt abandonned. Also, loseing his much more extroverted companion serverly impaired his social skills. It doesn't help that Roxana refuses to talk about anything that happened during that time. So they are akward, sad and longing.

[calamitaswrath]

Cal Lucia plays Fire Emblem Path of Radiance: Chapter 8

Just two stray thoughts before I get to the actual chapter - one, for as much as I enjoy the game overall thus far, I have to say that music isn't really all that remarkable. The track that plays on certain maps when they are almost cleared is nice, but it's the only song I really enjoy (which is probably not surprising given that it also made it into Smash). The track that plays when Daein generals like Petrine are on screen meanwhile is just. . . silly.

Not to constantly compare the game to the modern FEs, but with Greil in particular, I feel there's def a comparison to be made with Jeralt in Three Houses. To be more precise, I just feel that Greil's death has more weight to it since the first seven chapters (plus prologue) of the game really took their time to not only set him up, but also his connection to the mercenaries, and how they play off of him. Jeralt, by contrast. . . he doesn't really interact that much with anybody, and since Byleth is functionally mute in 3H, the impact of his death solely hinges on the connection the player forms with him. It really works just better in PoR, and not just because Ike isn't mute.

Ouh, case in point! A flashback (that seems to take place in the exact spote where Greil got killed), a CG illustration of Ike and Mist at the tombstone. . . that's the good stuff.

Ahhhhh and Titania putting her own grief aside the moment she notices Ike showing up! Ike apologizing to her and Soren, thanking them for sticking with him!

And exit Shinon and Gatrie. Shinon was just about expected, but I am lowkey surprised that Gatrie left with him. From a gameplay perspective I can understand it, since he also was a pre-promote, but from his writing, he always seemed more onboard with Ike than Shinon did. But then again, given the 🏳️‍🌈 vibes between them. . .

Oh, the way Ike assumes responsibility. . . it definitely reminds me of Chrom taking over as exalt in Awakening. And, given that Ike doesn't have to share the protag status with two other characters, I hope that unlike Awakening, this gets properly resolved and developed

Soren is pretty humble here, huh? That's some of the basis for their chemistry then, I take it

Ahh, finally stuff like the convoy, buying items and supports get introduced. . . really rather late for my liking, but at least it neatly ties into the story here

Only got one support unlocked so far, which is the C support between Ike and Oscar. Good found family content in that one, though! And lol @ Mist's cooking.

"Info". . .? Not quite sure what to make of that menu point. But Aimee and Muston! I've definitely seen Aimee before, in one of those "Ike doesn't care about affection from women" posts. I'll gladly take her affection though

Jorge and Daniel. I have no comment. ...No, literally. They don't stand out enough in any way

Huh. . . the more I look at it. . . is this "Info" point just little bonus scenes? Just saw Titania's. . . woof. That's good content.

Ahh, bonus experience! I've heard a bit about that gameplay mechanic. . . and also already learned that I missed out on a lot on that escape map when I had Ike escape first. I hope that future chapters actually tell you what these bonus objectives are. . .

I levelled up Mia once with this and she got stats on everything except for resistence???

Well, doesn't that just look like another defend map!

Mist's medallion is glowing again. How unimportant.

Why, an enemy unit who's a cute girl and not the boss? She's definitely not important.

Three clear chokepoints, and enemies that just approach you one after another. Pretty doable. The cleric with the fire jewel tried to escape, but I managed to track him down with Titania and get the thing.

Mist talking about wanting to die alongside Ike?? Holy shit, that's dark

Oh my. Big buff cat man Mordecai. . . I remember a post about somebody wanting to fuck him, and then needing to clarify that they didn't mean a cartoon bird by the same name

Lethe! Honestly surprised that it took this long for them to introduce a catgirl. And she doesn't immediately trust Ike and the others. . . that's neat.

Ah. Soren does a racism. I did wonder why he's more divisive among some people, so I guess that'd do it

You know, for how antagonist Lethe was just a moment ago, she did calm down very quickly here, mission or not

[isitoctober212015yet]

MOB PSYCHO 100 WARRIOR CATS AU WHOOOOOO

I've been chugging along at these designs for ages and I am so proud of them and stoked to finally share them AA if you have any questions FEEL FREE to ask me I have been plotting and drawing this au so much (have many things still in the works to post!!)

AU Summary: A Long time ago a strange interloper claiming to be a Starclan warrior took over the clan (Dimple/Mosswish). He gave them a prophecy from the ancient times of a cat that would one day be destined to take his place as the True leader of the clan.

Years later, a stray (Reigen/Weaselflight) found two kittens (Mob & Ritsu/Sproutmask & Thistlestrike) abandoned in the trash and took them in. If anyone asked he would claim it was just so that he wouldn't have anyone's death on his conscience but nobody ever asked. He staked out a human neighborhood and left them on the doorstep and once he saw them get taken in went off on his way.

Almost a year after that Sprout and Thistle have no memories of the cat who saved them and they have both grown. Sprout is constantly wondering what lies beyond his yard.

He befriends a stay who just came back to town named Weasel that seems oddly familiar, who's been mentoring Sprout on the ways of the Clan. He uses Weasel's "true" stories as a springboard for all the things he wants to do someday and tells his brother all about (Thistle hides his concern about that) But there are clan cats who have been watching them convinced Sprout is the one chosen by Starclan to help them.

Eventually they come to him, offering him anything he wants if he will join them, permanently.

I have a lot more I'm keeping secret for now you'll have to find out >:3c

design and name notes under the cut!

First off: I started on these BEFORE the fursona plush actually ever got announced but about mid-way through plotting all this They Happened and I knew I could not use any aspect of them for these designs so if u want to know why they don't look like those. that's why. I ardently refused to use those designs. I love them!!! I have fanart in the works of them, but they're not part of this.

Mob - he was the first character I drew and the base off of which I drew everyone else because he's the default. He's the glass of water, the firestar, the plain chip, the True Neutral of design.

He was also the last one i colored and actually finished a design for LMAO. When it came to his name I knew I wanted -mask as his suffix because of the fact he is the most autistic character I have ever seen in my life (I am a professional autist, I know my own) and he is absolutely masking 95% of the time before the confession arc. I was stuck on what his suffix could be though, but my friend @cellulr suggested broccoli as a name and I remembered that OH YEAH he can make plants grow, which is how I got to Sprout, also it just sounds cute. He's a growing little sprout, it works.

Reigen - My design is very specifically based on the Least Weasel. I do not subscribe to fox headcanons under any circumstances. I don't care what reason people have for them he's not a fox. He's literally the quote "weaseling out of things is important to learn! It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel." incarnate.

His name was the easiest one for me. He's a weasel, he loves to get out of Situations, Weaselflight. It's a winner.

Serizawa - He's a calico :3c I made him a calico because it matched the color palette of his pajamas and I just love his pajamas look because the blue suit is............kind of boring sorry <3.

I was really stuck on what to name him but i found out on the wiki that the zawa kanji of his name means Marsh and I really fell in love with that. -whisper was based on him being kinda shy when he first joins the clans but just like in actual canon he gets braver but is still a big gentle giant type guy

Dimple - I don't believe in realistic cat genetics for warrior cats content, these are a bunch of strays in the woods who have organized religion and superpowers. The cats can be green if I make them green. So Dimple's design was translated pretty literally but I made him very short and rounder than everyone else. And I gave him the same nicked ear that the claw security guard people draw him with/as all the time has. Also he's short and people keep thinking he's an apprentice I think that was a funny part of Scourge nobody used.

If you want to get realistic or something you could say maybe Dimple being green was proof enough to the clans he's otherworldly and therefore totally a real starclan warrior. His suffix Moss is pretty obvious but -wish has an in and out of universe explanation. In-universe it's about his own wishes of being important (godly perhaps?). Out of universe it's a reference to my favorite old timey warrior cats fansite warriors wish.

Teru - okay I will admit this is the only design that's loosely based on some fursona art. I saw art of him as a Pomeranian with the rest of the gang and I was obsessed I could not let him be a cat. He is a full respected warrior of the clan though do Not make any comments about him being a dog unless you wanna get killed. I love warriors aus or fanclans where non-cats are part of the clan too I think adding other animals adds a lot of fun elements to the world. In another clan of mine there's a pig. Reject canon. Add more animals to the clans.

As for his name I thought about naming giving him the Star prefix just to be annoying but theres certain lines I won't cross and that's one. So he's Suntuft. the -tuft is because he's a big fluffy dog lots of fur.

Toichirou - So like...in terms of structure Claw is basically just Bloodclan and guy who shows up out of nowhere with a huge army at the last second w/ plans to take over the world (forest)? that's so Scourge coded. Why does he have a clan name though? Secret For Later >:3c

In terms of design he's literally just a taller pointier Mob now in Red. Why he has the -claw suffix should be pretty obvious and I know in the anime his hair isnt quite red but i remembered it being pretty red when I was designing and Shou has red hair (im getting to him dw) so...red. I also thought it would be diabolical to give him the same name as the canon hero of the actual warriors books.

[katoktm8]

GEORGE W BUSH

Today we left the capital city of Tirana and headed north into the Albanian Alps. We laughed in Tirana when we crossed George W Bush Avenue and saw a George W, Bush building. But did not think much of it. On to Krujë, a city in the mountains. Well we thought it was a village. But it was actually a big city. People have said we had to go because of the old bazaar that fills the streets and the castle at the top. I think we stayed in the city for maybe 15 minutes before deciding it was all just Chinese tourist trinkets, and a museum. There were some ruins from the castle, but not enough to warrant the mountainous drive to get there. I did find a hidden communist era playground in some weeds that we were able to relax at for a minute. The most interesting thing was all the black Mercedes that lined the street as we were walking back down from the castle. Then we noticed a lot of men in black suits standing around. I went up to one man and asked if there was someone important at the castle and he acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about so down the hill and I asked another man and he turned his head. Caroline said we are not supposed to know who is here. Anyway, later in the night we found out that most of Albania is run by high-ranking mafia mobs so we figured that was probably a mafia boss visiting the castle. There were probably 15 black Mercedes and a couple dozen men standing lining the streets as we walked through. A bit intimidating. I was hoping it was the Prime Minister or the president. Oh and also the George W. Bush bakery. So of course by now we are obsessed with why George W. Bush is so important in Albania

We then drove on to our mountain village of Shkoder. We were picturing a quaint village up in the mountains with many hikes, waterfalls, and pristine natural land. What we came to was a very large city, not in the mountains. It is more like a waypoint from which you get shuttles up into the mountains or down into the lakes or whatever. Our hotel was nestled in the heart of the city. It looks like it could be a mountain village. It is over 300 years old and the owners decided to keep it as it was when purchased from family, traditional Albanian. It is filled with antiques, the kitchen food is cooked over a fire, the hotel itself is absolutely fabulous. We had a quick lunch, clay pot of hot feta cheese, pita bread, And a delicious salad of tomatoes and cucumbers. We were so disappointed with the city. We thought we were going to have the worst day, but we put on our shoes and decided to walk the town. We chose to walk to Shkoder lake, which was about 3 1/2 miles away. It was in the 90s and we thought we would rent paddle boards. This lake is the border between Albania and Macedonia. Walked through a gypsy encampment area and saw 100s of well not hundreds, but a lot of stray dogs along the way and back. They were all so friendly and we were thrilled to give them whatever survival food we had in our backpacks. Lots of tail wagging and us petting every dog we could find. And some cats too. It seems each dog or group of dog friends have a certain territory and they walk along with us until they reach the end of their territory and then they stop and wave goodbye. And then the next dogs greet us. Be sure to notice the photo of the stupid man holding his baby down into the face of the stray dogs Photos Photos

We got back to the hotel around 7 PM and as we were walking through the restaurant area to go to our room, we were poking our nose in everyone’s plates to see what they ordered. One lady said to us oh, you have to try the pickled cabbage. And this, led to three hours of eating and drinking with a woman who was in her 40s from Albania and her husband who is from Texas. They are here visiting her family and friends for a month. Dinner was the most delicious grilled vegetables I may have ever had, pickled cabbage with pickles, bread, and goat meat all cooked over the fire!.

Her dad, who died when he was 83, was a famous archaeologist. Of course this set me off because my dream is always to be an archaeologist. He discovered the tomb of Skanderbag who helped overthrow the Ottomans way back in early history. “The father of Albanian Archeology” Frano Prendi (Google him) when communism was in full force, he was then forced to be part of the communist state. They needed him to make Albania look good, but he was a subversive. He was actually sent to Paris at one time, but he had three people watching over him at all times to make sure he did not do anything wrong. At one point when he returned, someone asked him what Paris was like, and he said even the rain felt free, and he was almost executed for spreading propaganda. She also talked about being a child and growing up under communist rule. Each family was given a coupon for 1 pound of meat a week. She said her favorite thing was to stand in line with her mom for hours waiting to get their 1 pound of meat. They also had to scratch the walls of their house to eat the plaster dust because it contains calcium. She was 8, dictator Enver Hoxha, died and she was 15 when communism ended. After communism ended, the country turned Civil War overrun by gangs and mafia. It was easy for young girls to get kidnapped by the mafia and never seen again. Because her father was so well-known, a French Count came and said he was going to take her to school in France. But in reality at 17 he forced her into marriage and she lived in a castle in France for seven or eight years until she could escape him. As you can imagine, the story goes on and off through a few bottles of wine. And my endless questioning. Tammy, if you are reading this, you are correct, still run by the mafia.

So apparently, at one point, the Serbian people were ethnically cleansing Kosovo of Albanians and America stepped in and completed some airstrikes on them. They were so thankful for this that they love Americans. Hence the reason only Americans can get a one year visa to Albania. But a few years later, after he was president, George W. Bush visited northern Albania. He was the first president to visit Albania after the fall of communism. They were so happy that he was there that now he has even a huge statue erected of him in one of the mountain villages. Therefore so many things are named George W Bush. 😂

To bed way too late for 5 AM wake up to take a tour.

[fy-wonwoo]

[230809] Your friendly neighborhood GAM3 BO1 is here

WONWOO and SEVENTEEN show what makes gaming truly fun

As he progressed through Sue’s Cooking Game on a May 6 stream, Weverse Live viewers saw an awkward, almost embarrassed smile take over WONWOO’s face. “How did you know I like washing dishes?” It was an unexpected response from the SEVENTEEN member to the game over message (“Just wash the dishes”) after he failed the goal of clicking around the screen to cook ramyeon within the time limit. WONWOO isn’t terribly familiar with such simple games—he’s much more versed in games like League of Legends and PUBG: BATTLEGROUNDS that demand a combination of skilled reflexes and strategy, as his fans know. And his line about the dishes drew an affectionate laugh from them. “If you don’t know [the game], you can look at my face,” he joked (but there’s no joking about how seriously handsome he is). And his sincerity was evident when he brushed off a loss with a simple, “That’s unfortunate,” only to give it another go—all spoken in the same calm voice, and with his same signature upright posture, that he maintains as he talks through the games. And that’s how WONWOO’s GAM3 BO1 series got its start.

WONWOO’s always been a gamer. “When I was a trainee, gaming was my only hobby,” he said. Three years ago, he could be seen streaming his PUBG gameplay on the Chinese site Huya Live. When he played Crazy Arcade in the “GSVT E-Triathlon Championship 2022” episode of the group’s original series GOING SEVENTEEN last year, “you could tell he’s a real pro based on the username he chose and the way he plays,” according to Yi Yunju, leader of the PLEDIS New Media Part. WONWOO’s gaming caught the attention of not only fans but the wider public as well. When he played Stray, a game set in a dystopian future where the player takes control of a cat, he was quick to understand the overall structure of the game, immediately distinguishing those quests he felt were required to progress versus those that weren’t very important and skipping over the latter. He also made sure to show off to viewers how cute the feline protagonist could be.

The first episode of GAM3 BO1 was born out of WONWOO’s longstanding interest in and opinions on gaming. “WONWOO spoke up about wanting to start doing Lives about gaming,” lead professional Yeom Ji Been, with the HYBE Artist Content 4 Studio, said, “so we ended up putting together a team to get all the equipment ready and help film the videos.” The name of the series derives from the SEVENTEEN song “GAM3 BO1”—a hip hop unit song that features WONWOO—and was only decided in the middle of the first episode. In the two months since and up to July 28, seven episodes have been broadcast live, averaging a whopping 3.3 hours each. Yeom said it was also WONWOO who came up with the ultimate format for the show, starting with the second episode where he opened with a simple Flash game similar to Sue’s Cooking Game and warmed up with the League of Legends map Howling Abyss for ARAM play (“all random, all mid,” one of League’s gameplay modes) before moving onto the main game of the episode. “Fans were really into seeing Flash games like the Sue series,” Yeom added. Flash games were popular in the early 2000s and mainly provided through web portals, where it was easy for kids to come across and play them. These games stir up old memories for CARAT and also encourage communication between them and WONWOO as they give him tips in the chat. Viewers looking for a more complex gaming experience get to enjoy WONWOO warming up as he plays League’s Howling Abyss, followed by the main game of each broadcast, which lasts longer than the other segments. Between the games’ engaging visuals and stories, and the process involved in completing different quests, the streams become totally immersive for those watching, with no previous knowledge of the games necessary. It’s like a gift basket of goodies whether you’re into gaming or not. When WONWOO plays live, hashtags about him start trending on Twitter. He’s even brought other members of SEVENTEEN on to play with him. In all aspects, he’s just like any pro streamer.

Keep reading!

[seven-meds]

"The more Arthur is thought about the more real he becomes" I don't think it's silly, it's beautiful 🖤 I have the same belief :) I believe in the capacity of human feelings to turn someome real. I figured that's why Arthur is real for those who love him. He may not be real but our feelings are, we connect with him, we feel his heart, so naturally he also becomes real. Human feelings don't make distinctions between fiction and reality. What we feel for him is as real as any feeling we have towards people in our life. The more we love him the more we feel him 🖤 I appreciate what you do for him and your dedication to talk about him with dignity and realistically. Arthur's feelings and what he went through deserve to be acknowledged as they are. I think it's a way to know him, love him and understand him, that's what he's always wanted. He would be very touched. I think he is 🖤:) thank you for wanting to hear my experience. I feel for him the same devotional love I encountered in your art and writings, I'm grateful to know that this way of loving him is shared with someone else. I’ve never met someone who loves him in a way similar to mine :) I picture myself as myself with him, most of the time. I live by his side in 1981, in the life of his dreams, one that doesn't hurt him in which he can heal. We are happy. Many people seem to do that :) Yet sometimes... I love to imagine myself as a cat. I’m a cat which Arthur adopted in the past, I live in his apartment with him. I was a stray skinny cat before he found me, he saw himself in me, gave me shelter, and we became important to each other in no time. I love to picture myself as this cat which is completely loved by Arthur. We make each other company and live a nice life, our bond is unbreakable and special. (continues ->)

By 🐈

It gives me a lot of comfort and love to imagine being a helpless kitten that Arthur protects, and to whom Arthur gives all his love. I don't know why I started doing this, but to imagine that I am a little cat that Arthur takes care of and he loves more than anything gets me through the day. Perhaps because it makes me feel free from the fears and responsibilities of human life to imagine being a cat whose only reason for living is Arthur, a cat who depends on him, who's fed by him, who only lives for him and doesn't make him feel lonely but utterly loved. It helps me a lot with my struggles. I wonder if there's a connection to the feeling of devotion I have for him :) I like to imagine sitting on his lap while Arthur strokes my tiny body usually. It must be nice to be a cat and feel his hands running over your soft fur to give you love and cuddles, feeling his warmth and his smell around you. But what I love most, is imagining to curl up in the crook of his neck and start purring. I think Arthur would be head over heels to hear my purr, a concrete proof of love, knowing that he's the only one who gets to feel it. I would love to lick his face, or nibble his nose or his earlobe gently the way cats are inclined to do, to make him feel the vibrations of my purr against him. I think he would smile warmly, perhaps giggle when I tickle him, feel grateful that this little creature loves him that much and unconditionally. I’d love to make him feel loved with my purring and by kneading his belly. It gives me a lot of comfort the idea of being small enough to be held in his hands, or to nestle into the mantle of his hair or nuzzle any warm corner and angle of his body, taking a nap there, basking in his smell, while he tries to sleep or has a cigarette, and we give each other love. Being held is a powerful image, the core of any deep emotion, I think. I crave to be held by him all the time and I can in this circumstance. (why I loved your opinion about his keys) Life scares me, but when I need it I can be a cat shielded in Arthur's limbs to hang in there and feel protected. I get the same feelings when I picture myself as a person with him, but it's different and I like the difference which being a cat brings on the table :) For some time I didn't allow myself to think about it, I was self conscious. Well perhaps there's nothing wrong in loving him like that when I need it and your blog is helping me to internalize it more :) I’ve never said this before, it’s a secret, but I wanted to tell you because you could understand. I hope you don’t mind. I would never want to make you feel uncomfortable so on the off chance I did you don't have to reply 🖤 I wish you the best :)

By 🐈

--

This is very wonderful, I feel honored to have been trusted with your fantasy. I’m a little sad that you seem to feel the need to keep it a secret, as I think it is quite beautiful. I imagine many people would feel the same. I can certainly understand keeping a fantasy for oneself, but if you feel the desire to share I think you should. The love here is so all-encompassing - Arthur is your entire world and all he asks for in return is your presence, which you very readily give. 

While it is not my own fantasy, I can picture how it might feel. I can imagine being something small cradled in his arms, or nestled near his body, vibrating intensely with fondness for him (you focus so heavily on the purr and its symbolism!). Something about imagining oneself as a cat is quite humble. Being without speech or human gesture… there is freedom there, and an abstraction of the self into a being of pure devotion. There is also a special type of magic associated with a cat's affection as their trust is hard to gain. He is being gifted the knowledge that he is trusted. 

Honestly, I love this deeply… I am very happy to have read it. I like to see the way the self can be reworked in fantasy. I’ve noticed that, very often, the worldbuilding of a fantasy (constructing a new life or form) is just as important as the person the fantasy is focused on. Everyone has their own little world (sometimes multiple worlds!) that they inhabit with Arthur, worlds that have been built just for him. I find this quite inspiring. 

Thank you so much for the message.

[hildathesaint]

Lets talk about why I don't support protecting invasive species

This popped into my mind the other day when I was sitting at lunch with a couple of friends and I saw a line of Argintinean ants on our table, so I squashed them. One of my friends made a snarky comment that "I thought you loved all animals, why are you killing the ants then," and I have been waiting for this rant for a long time. Argintinean ants are a huge problem in South Africa, where I live. They are slowly destroying the populations of native ants to the point that I barely see any other species left. Yes, I do love all animals. I love scuttly long, legged spiders that hide in the corners of my home, I love the slimy frogs that I constantly have to remove from my schoolgrounds for their safety, I even love stink bugs and the odd little buzzing sound they make when they fly. Animals are all fascinating in their own way, IN THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE IN THE ECOSYSTEM.

I will not hesitate to exterminate an invasive wasp nest from my house that is threatening my native bee colonies. I will not hesitate to rip out Black Wattle and Rooikrans from the ground to protect native plants. This does not count for natural, native predators, as I understand that every system needs a form of balance. The problem is that these invasive species throws this balance off, which could lead to extinction in extreme cases. Another big example of invasive species is domesticated animals, especially cats. I adore cats, but I also acknowledge the huge threat they pose to ecosystems all around the world. According to BBC, "they are responsible for the deaths of between 1.4 and 3.7 billion birds and 6.9-20.7 billion mammals annually," and National Geographic says "free-ranging domestic cats kill between 1.3 and 4 billion birds – on top of between 6.2 and 22.3 billion mammals – every year in the United States alone." Domestic cats have also been blamed for the global extinction of at least 33 species.

I don't want everyone to forget that other domestic animals are also a huge problem to native species, such as dogs, rats and pigs, but cats are by far the most destructive.

I think it is extremely important for pet owners to realize the potential threat their pet poses for their native ecosystem, and I think it is necessary for them to monitor their pets, especially cats, much more strictly. It is also very important to neuter your pets, because more of them means less native species. Consider adopting instead of buying a new puppy or kitten, since stray animals also account for a lot of destruction. I do not mean to hate on pets or pet owners, As I said previously I adore animals in all their different forms. I just feel very strongly that we should put the welfare of our native wildlife before the welfare of invasive species. I want to protect them while they are still here.

Here are some links for further reading:

[helga-heason]

Letter #4

Dear Selina,

I hope this finds you well. It’s been a funny few days here. Not much has happened besides me overthinking absolutely everything and Gotham PD watching me like a flock of overly cautious hawks. I’ll never understand why they’re so desperate to dig up some dirt on me - maybe they saw the Riddler’s confession that I’d inspired him, or maybe they just hate people dressed as bats. Though, what I do isn’t exactly legal, so that could be it too.

The toxicity of the Riddler’s poisoned ideologies is spreading. I see now that I am just as obsessive as him, and I fear the fallout if I go too far may be too much to bear. Vengeance is like some sort of festering wound; an untreated infection that spreads rapidly and cruelly, travelling through blood and sinking into bones - and it’s toxic. It’s poisonous and deadly. It’s also… Addictive. The pursuit of another adrenaline rush when you believe you’re doing the right thing. Sometimes it feels like I should be in Arkham, torn between the sweet seduction of insanity and the angsty pessimism of an obsessed bastard who wants the person or people who killed his parents to pay. I prevented you from killing Falcone, telling you that you’d paid enough - which you have - but god I can’t describe how much I wish I could have killed him. Cleaning up after the Riddler really isn’t easy, not when so many people seem to side with him. Murder and psychological terrorism aside, it’s not too hard to see why the great and good of Gotham’s poor banded together under his attempt at leadership. No-one listens to them, and it’s only so long before irritation becomes anger, which in turn becomes a fire that swallows everything in sight.

Robin and I have been gazing out over the view of Gotham from the Batsignal for a few weeks now, at both sunrise and sunset. She’s an early riser, I just never sleep. Alfred won’t leave me alone about it, but how am I supposed to try and improve the city if I’m busy sleeping? Randomly passing out on the nearest sofa in the Tower has worked just fine for close to three years now. If it ain’t broke… The view is beautiful. I’ve probably said this before, but it’s true. Watching the sun set slowly upon the city’s skyline is something that I could definitely get used to, munching on an out of date slice of pizza from a 24-hour corner shop, with a cat rubbing herself against my jaw. I just wish you were here to enjoy it with us.

I sometimes wonder, when I’m chasing down petty criminals, if you ever think of me. It sounds a bit… Stalker-ish to admit, but I think of you often. I miss you, a lot more than I ever believed I���d miss anyone. I sometimes think I see you around - in 44-, in the Iceberg Lounge, skulking around Oz’s back quarters, hopping around the rooftops at night, lurking in the shadows of the back alleys and running through the streets. I’ve often thought of asking if it’s you, but it never is. I do hope you’re alright. I hope your new place, and your new life, are treating you well. Oz hasn’t mentioned you in a fair few months, so I assume everything is well where you are. If you ever need help - and I know you’ve said you can look after yourself - please don’t be afraid to ask. If you call, I will answer.

I don’t want to worry you, but there’s a small gang of calico cat bandits living in your apartment now. I’ve been using it as a storage place for less important items, but have apparently now been booted out to make way for a bunch of stray calico cats. You have a thing for strays. Or you did. I don’t know if you still do. I suppose it stands to reason that strays would begin to have a thing for you.

Ah, this is… A long letter. Alright. I’ll finish this up here. I have a few criminal hangouts to check out, so I’ll go… Do that. I listened to Nirvana earlier - I’ll probably start humming “something in the way, mmmmm~” when the hangouts turn out to be inhabited. Again, I hope you’re well.

Yours, always, the Bat(man) - and Robin the cat.