#ALL THAT WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WAS THE FUCKING SONG
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A Glorious Sunrise
There’ll be happiness. Paige makes sure of it.
Paige Bueckers x Reader
Masterlist
Word Count: 2.2k
Themes: angst with a happy ending, paige is flirty and i love her for it
A/N: hiii i've been MIA but i'm back and omg guys i lowkey kinda love this. this song has been my hyperfixation for the past two months and i've been dying to write a fic to happiness but i didn't want it to be paige-angst so this is what i came up with instead.
also i'm lowkey exposing myself with this fic, and i clearly need therapy sooo PLZ BE NICE
please enjoy and lemme know what you think ;)
~
A single tear slides down your cheek as you close the last box of your belongings, landing on the brown cardboard with a wet plop of harsh finality. You gaze around the room, which is now nearly empty, and a sob that you had been suppressing all day manages to break through your normally tough exterior.
Seven years of love and laughter gone just like that.
And now, here you were, dividing all of your shit into boxes and contemplating if this feeling was even worth the seven years in heaven.
The empty space where the bed once stood leaves a lump in your throat. Images of being pulled into a warm, strong chest every night bombard your consciousness, and you turn away, unable to stomach it any longer.
It was a simple story, really.
You and Jake were high school sweethearts, turned college sweethearts. He had taken you to prom and twirled you around in a sparkly, pink dress. He had taken your virginity, and you had imagined your entire life together with bright, starry eyes.
College was spent between your dorm rooms, crammed into twin beds and talking about kids and houses with white picket fences. You had moved in together after college, and the two of you were blissfully in love.
But last week, Jake had come home late at night with empty eyes and shaky hands, and he had quietly told you that he was done.
And in the blissfulness of being in love, the words did not even register for a moment.
You were still dancing when the music stopped. And the world went cold, the sunshine in your life suddenly burnt out like a candle that was blown out by a bitter wind. The smoke was engulfing your cold frame, curling around you in dark, taunting tendrils.
You shiver now, looking back on it all. Your sweatshirts were all packed already, and instinctively, you go to the closet to grab one of Jake’s.
The realization hits you like a truck, and you stop in your tracks. What is his is no longer yours.
He is no longer yours.
Fuck.
No one had taught you what to do when a good man hurts you, so you were going to pick yourself up piece by piece.
~
“Baby, please just listen t’me,” Jake slurs, his voice coming through the speaker of your phone in loud, drunken drawls, causing you to wince. It was the first night in your new apartment, and you were already struggling with the fact that it was just you and the four walls that surrounded you.
Your voice wavers as you try to remain level headed. “No. I’m not doing this anymore,” you whisper. The other line is silent for a moment, and you think he has given up. But the delicate swoon of a woman’s voice cuts through the phone, and your stomach lurches with both dread and anger.
It had been a week, and here he was, filling the divide with random women.
Well, two could play that game.
It didn’t take long to fall back into old habits. As they say, old habits die screaming, and it had become nearly impossible for you to hold back from the distraction the steady stream of men and women provided.
It was deeply unhealthy, and you knew it. Once they would leave, you’d seek solace in the steaming shower where the water both hid your tears and washed away the filth of last night’s activities that had lingered on your soft skin.
No matter how hard you scrubbed, you could not manage to rid yourself of the bruises and the overwhelming shame that seeped out of every pore.
Your body, which was once worshipped with soft kisses and gentle touches, was quickly becoming a way to numb the pain of having the rug pulled out from under you. Dark marks litter your skin in swirling, chaotic patterns that remind you of how little worth you have.
And in the darkness, the cruelest words taunt your inner psyche.
‘Maybe this is all I'm good for anymore.’
~
Those very words echo in your mind as you stumble into your apartment building on an unseasonably warm morning in April. The doorman gives you a sly look as he notices last night's mascara caked into the waterline of your eyes, smudged from the long night and the rough sex that followed.
You duck your head, wanting to disappear, and you hurry through the lobby, wanting to get out of the sparkly dress that was still adorning your body.
You reach the elevator, pressing the button to go up impatiently. The doors open, and you let out a quiet sigh of relief.
“Wait! Hold up, I’m coming,” a voice shouts, and you turn to look in the direction of the girl.
It was like a scene out of one of those ridiculous hallmark movies. Blonde hair gleams in the early morning sun, reflecting off of the large glass windows of the lobby. The girl’s blue eyes shine with amusement as you stare up at her, momentarily forgetting your desire to remain unnoticed.
She steps into the enclosed space with you, and you let out a shaky breath. Her presence was intoxicating, and it was quickly becoming very apparent that you looked like a goddamn mess.
“Fun night?” She asks with a teasing lilt to her voice, and you blush.
“Not really,” you say blandly, surprised by your own candor. “But it was a good distraction.”
The girl studies you, her eyes raking over your collarbone where a large hickey now resided.
“I’m Paige,” she says, and you tell her your name as the flush extends over your chest, settling into it.
“I’m in apartment 555. Let me know if you ever want to talk,” she winks, walking out of the elevator. “Or if you need a healthier distraction,” she adds over her shoulder right as the doors close.
Your face blooms with color again, and your belly erupts in the feeling of excitement.
Because in that moment, you had unconsciously decided to leave it all behind.
For there was a glorious sunrise looming over the black hills that had risen in your heart, blanketing a warmth you hadn’t felt in months. And her name was apparently Paige.
Paige was on the forefront of your mind all day, and you welcome the giddiness, inviting it into your heart like an old friend.
A new motivation pours into you as you walk into your apartment, the bare walls emulating the blandness you had been feeling since the breakup. Your eyes glance towards your storage closet, and without a second thought, you begin to decorate, the pieces of you that you once had to keep hidden were now proudly out on display.
It was the first step to healing. And damn, did it feel good.
~
Healing is never a linear process. And as your thumb grazes over your phone screen, open to Tinder, your mind fights with your heart over falling back into bad habits.
You huff, looking around to make sure no one watches you as you stand near the elevator waiting to go back home after the gym one afternoon. Your thumb swipes across a few profiles, almost instinctively, as you mindlessly scroll to find someone worthy of your time.
You weren’t even going to fuck them this time, you tell yourself. You just needed a little attention to fill the void.
If you repeat it enough times, surely it’ll start to ring true.
“She’s cute. Why’d you swipe left?” A husky voice murmurs in your ear, and you jump, immediately closing out the app on your phone and whirl around to face the familiar sound.
“We gotta stop meeting like this,” Paige chuckles, looking you up and down, and you flush.
She just had that effect on you.
“If she’s so cute, why don’t you date her?” You ask, almost defensively, feeling the heat of her gaze. Damn her and those eyes.
“Prefer to meet pretty girls in person,” she smirks, clearly noticing the blush on your cheeks.
“Did you think about my offer?”
You fight a smile. “Maybe,” you shrug, wanting to keep your cards close to your chest. Even if you had been internally fawning over her the past few weeks, she did not need to know that.
Her smile widens, and you swear you can actually see a twinkle in her eye.
“And…?” She goads, leaning in closer to you as the elevator opens, and she leads you in with a hand ghosting across the small of your back.
“I just got out of a really long relationship,” you start to explain, faltering as she steps even closer into your space.
“Who said anything about a relationship?” Her eyes flicker down to your lips and then back to yours, tracking your face expertly.
“I–” you begin, her breath fanning over your face distracting you from being able to put words together. You lean in, your eyes nearly fluttering closed before the elevator pings and the door opens.
You suck in a breath, the realization slamming into you.
Paige squeezes your hip, as you look back up at her wide eyes.
“8 tonight. Alright?”
You nod dumbly, enthralled by the trance she had put you in. The elevator doors close, and you’re met with your own reflection staring back at you, and in the silver chrome, you watch your smile come back to life.
~
You arrive at her door that night, your palms slick, and you wipe them on your pants just in case she holds your hand tonight.
You were lying if you said you hadn’t spent the entire day fantasizing about Paige. You had thought about the way her hair was tucked up in a bun this morning, practically begging you to take it out and run your hands through the soft, golden locks. And you had thought about how her pink, plush lips had formed into a smirk, making you want to tell your funniest jokes just to see the curve of her smile widen.
You had thought about her hands and the way they had grazed across your skin, setting every nerve ending in your body ablaze with a feeling you hadn’t felt in months.
All of the people you had hooked up with in your sickening conquest to forget about your ex-boyfriend could not hold a candle to Paige.
And that fucking terrified you. But here you were, at her door, ready to face whatever the universe was going to throw at you.
There’ll be happiness. You just knew it.
You shake your head, scolding yourself for the internal gay ramblings, and you knock, waiting for that gorgeous face to appear on the other side.
The door opens, and your breath hitches as Paige smiles at you, reaching for your hand to pull you inside.
Thank god you had wiped them off.
“Welcome to my crib,” she jokes, leading you to sit on her couch.
You scan the room, surprised at how well it was decorated before landing back on her.
Paige had sat next to you, drawing her legs up in a way that felt strangely intimate. She crosses her hands dramatically. “So, tell me why you’ve been using Tinder to cope.”
You splutter, not expecting her to be so blunt.
“Damn, you don’t need to roast me,” you giggle, a faux pout on your lips, drawing Paige’s attention to them.
“Is it cuz of your ex?” She asks, and you nod.
“Yeah. I–I guess I just wanted to feel like I had some sort of worth still.”
Paige stares at you with a somber look on her face. She reaches up to cup your cheek, running her thumb across the smooth skin of your jaw.
“You do. Promise,” she whispers genuinely, and the simplicity of her words rip every single bit of cautiousness from your body.
And you lean in and kiss her.
Your lips move in perfect synchronicity, like two dance partners who could see inside each other's minds. You lean into her touch, her hand coming up to rest on your waist, as you nearly squirm onto her lap.
She moans as your mouth opens, letting her fall into you, as two becomes one.
It was perfect and poetic, just as new beginnings tend to be.
Time slows as you sit with each other, exploring and indulging before you finally pull away, your chest rising and falling in quick, staccato breaths.
Paige places a kiss onto your cheek, brushing her thumb across your lips to sweep away the extra spit that had accumulated amidst the sudden passion.
“Well, I’d say that was a pretty successful first session, huh?” She teases.
“When’s the next one?” You ask, a giggle bubbling up in your chest, as you lean back into Paige, who just laughs, pulling you in for another kiss.
You were going to be just fine.
Paige would make sure of it.
~
welllll what'd you think?? thanks so much for reading
xoxo katy
~
Taglist:
@oldcrdigan, @paigebuxkets, @the-other-half, @patscorner, @tndaqlifwy , @ch12334 , @double22-k , @inthedeathofherreptuation , @authentic-girl03 , @blueredg52 , @kmoneymartini , @mrsarnold , @ittiwdwysylm @hobbybound @makethemhoesmad @moshuka @jnkbueckers @bridgetloveswomen @melpthatsme @onlyhereforpazzi @cierraonline @paigebuckets6 @glamourdaya @avvwritesstufff
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#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#uconn wbb#paige x reader#paige bueckers x you#uconn huskies#wlw yearning#wlw#happiness#angst with a happy ending
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hii!! can u write a se-mi x female guard reader and theyre already lovers even before the game started. when reader realized that se mi is in the game, she secretly protected her. when the reader revealed herself to se mi in the bthroom they kinda argued,,
✧₊⁺ i'm mr. loverman (and i miss my lover)
se-mi x fem!reader
✦ synopsis: you're so in love with your friend with benefits that you'll risk your life to keep her safe, even if it's all to let her go in the end.
content: angst, guard! reader x player! se-mi
authors note: hi!!! tysm for your request, i hope u like it!
⋆。°✩ her fingers feel so good inside that, combined with her lust-filled face that roams your features, you think you can cry from the sight alone.
"yes, yes, yes, just like that" your head hits the wall with a choked moan once she allows you to finish.
as you're coming down from your haze, she kisses you.
her kisses so rough, that you're used to being out of breath afterwards.
she lays you in bed, gently getting on top.
"you're my pretty girl.. and i'll miss. you. so. much" she says, kissing you after every word.
please, make it never ending.
"why can't i go with you?" you pouted as she shook her head no.
"i need to take this trip by myself. i told you.. i need to solve a few issues before.. we get more serious" she says as she hears your sigh. "i want that baby, i really do."
you nod, a bit hesitant, resting your head on her chest. you can feel heart beating, which pulls a smile from your lips.
"we can have a morning quickie, as a goodbye"
she hums as she kisses your forehead in agreement.
"mmm.. such a nice way to say goodbye." she replies as you chuckle. "but i still need one more round, just.. to make sure i'm leaving you all satisfied"
you smirk, lifting your head as your eyes find eachother. your lips meet hers once again.
"make me" she grins, quickly getting on top, covering the naked bodies with the white sheets.
⋆。°✩ you place the mask over your face, following 015 to the 'red lights, green lights' room. stepping in, you remove the mask and drop the case on the floor, putting the weapon together.
practicing the aiming, you check the new players. you would judge them but, weren't you just one stupid more?
as you got ready for the game, the doll turned around, letting you hear the little song you knew all too well.
everyone started running, slowing the pace as it screamed red light.
you found an already familiar face guiding the newbies, oh? well he's..huh. player 456. that's actually cool.
you scanned the room as the game kept going, finding a face you had imprinted in your brain.
huh, she's pretty.
she has..
pretty brown eyes, short brown hair, piercings.
huh.
your eyes shut closed, trying to supress the angry scream.
the girl looked just like se-mi!
no wait.
it was fucking se-mi.
"fuck."
pulling your hair, you tried to focus during the game, you can't lose it now.
you tried to keep your shots far away from her, trying to not make her flinch or anything that made her move.
as she got to the finish line, a sigh of relief ran through your body.
you couldn't face her now though, that'd be reckless.
⋆。°✩ as the night came, you stirred in bed. shivers running through your body as you kept thinking about her.
you slowly got dressed, walking where the players went through to go to the bathroom, you nudge your partner to go.
i mean, you weren't a big thing here, but they respected you as a triangle, at least the newbies (circles).
so as he left, you stood there, checking on her through the small window.
you located her on the bed, asleep. she was all alone and you almost ran in there to sleep with her, but you couldn't.
pressing your lips together, you sighed, hoping everything could end soon.
⋆。°✩ a new day, the end of a new game. you prayed that she made it, as you couldn't be there present for it.
you stood on the bathroom door, guarding, as you kept thinking.
how could you ask them without being suspicious?
maybe grab a circle and ask, then kill him.
or um.. maybe go down to the bathroom door? like last night and look for her?
no, maybe you could-
no need, because as you kept thinking of ways to find out if she was alive after 'six-legged pentathlon' while taking custody, she stood there in front of you.
"can i go orrr.. you'll shoot me?" she smirked, eyeing me up and down.
you swore, if she kept being a brat, you'll throw the mask and kiss her. a few ways to makeout and have a quickie came to your mind.
you nod at her, your gun pointing to the door as she enters, leaving your sight.
at least the brat was alive. thank god.
⋆。°✩ as you kept with your nightly ritual, you found yourself in the little hallway where the players walked for the bathroom.
you could see her chuckling, she was sitting down with a few guys, manspreading as always.
your eyes roamed her body, and then her face. she was so attractive.
you wouldn't judge any of the girls here if they fell for her.
judge doesn't mean you wouldn't shoot them though.
⋆。°✩ a new day, a new game.
mingle.
as you stood there, your eyesight found her. she was scanning the room, walking with the same group you saw her yesterday.
moving aside with gun in hand, you stared as her brown eyes started to show a hint of fear as the platform begin spinning.
she does the first round, the second one.
but on third one, something feels weird as you see her talking with this guy, a frown on her face.
your heart shatters as you see her three partners run to a room without her.
fuck no. she's not gonna die here.
you stare side to side, as the guards are busy, keeping their focus on otherways.
good.
you get close, poking her with the gun as she turns around, surprise all over her face. you could see that she'd given up. that broke your heart even more.
"196 and 133 are missing one. run" you mumble, but she can still hear you.
she stays there frozen as you poke her again. she seems to react this time as she runs with them into a room, although she keeps turning back to stare, trying to find out more about you.
you go back to your position. once mingle ends, you let out a breathing that you didn't even knew you were holding.
⋆。°✩ you can't sleep that night, knowing she's there, probably staring at the ceiling thinking about what happened today, just like you.
you miss her so much you feel like you're about to leave everything to go and help her.
because you would. you'd drop everything for her.
⋆。°✩ light's out was next. you knew that.
you can never be too careful, right?
as you run downstairs, placing the mask on your face, you find another guard with the triangle instead of circle, like you're used to.
fuck.
"039, what are you-" you cut him abruptly, choking him with your arm.
once his body goes limp, you hide it behind the door.
you start looking for her, she's not in her bed.
a bad feeling running through your veins.
fuck it. it's worth it for her.
as you hide your gun, you enter the common room. the light's are flashing, making it worse to locate her. everyone is in such a rush, they don't even see you. if they did, they're too busy being stabbed to death.
where is she?? WHERE the fuck is she????
you look near her bed, she's not there. you stare behind, the sides. she's. not. there.
fuckk.
you find her friend...min su? on top of a bed, quickly, you run to him. once you're close enough, you could hear a whimper.
no. please. not her.
"se-mi?" you scream with fear, voice almost trembling. "se-mi!?"
your eyes find her cornered against the wall. she already has a wound close to her neck.
what's it gonna be? your life of her's?
there's no doubt.
you aim and shoot. his body falls on top of her as she gasps. her gaze finds yours.
she throws his body to the ground, running to your side.
"who the fuck are you?" she tries to pull the mask as you stop her, holding her wrist.
"not here. bathroom"
she follows you to the bathroom, her body shivers.
"are you cold?"
"no. just.. had a very close death experience" she replies coldly.
there's nothing left to say other than pressing your lips while nodding.
once you get there, you step in first, checking to see if it's empty. you sign her to follow you as she enters, closing the door behind her.
she swiftly pushes you against the wall, holding a shard of broken glass to your throat. "who. the fuck. are you?"
"if you let me, i'll show you" she hesitates but backs up. you remove the mask and everything that covers your face and hair.
her mouth opens in shock. please, not this.
"you're fucking kidding me right? is this some kind of sick joke?" she says, staring wide eyed. "you were the one who helped me today and..oh my god. this entire time it was you"
as you try to get closer, she slaps your hand, rejecting you.
"se-mi, please"
"i can't believe you accepted this. do you have fun killing people? what if- what if you had to kill me?" anger slips through her words.
"i-i dont, se-mi" your eyes close, a few tears threaten to spill. "you lied to me too.. there was never a trip-"
"it's different! i came here to fucking end my debts to have our happy ending! you're just here for pleasure!
"it's not pleasure se-mi. i get fucking paid for this too, i need the money as much as you do" your voice elevates.
tears roll down your cheeks. it's useless.
"can we talk better outside?" you hiccup. "may-maybe when this is done we can get back home and-"
she dry chuckles, shooking her head no.
"you're fucking insane if you think there's an 'us' outside after this"
oh.
she must've seen your fat tears rolling down your cheeks because she attempts to comfort you, the habit being stronger than her. she closed her fist before any move, trying to control herself.
"right." you try to move but all you could do was try to breathe. if you didn't left this place in 2 minutes, you'll have a breakdown.
her gaze filled with anger, starts to disappear once she sees your teary eyes.
"fuck. im- i didn't meant- i" she stutters as her hands cover her face. "i fucked up, i didn't mean to say that-"
its too late, because you start placing all to cover yourself once again. she grabs your arm to stop you as you remove her grip.
"princess, i'm- exhausted and i'm confused and i'm fucking pissed i had you here all along, and my fucking 'friend' tried to kill me and he died in front of me because my girlfriend is the guard at this fucked up place and-" she pulls her hair as she takes a deep breath, clearly stressed.
she closes her eyes, this must be a fucked up nightmare, she thinks.
"baby- i'm sorry."
"you're not the only one who's been having it hard sem. you think this is a birthday party? you get paid to murder your own partners too. you killed them everytime you hit the circle. i need this too. the money- it goes all to my parents se-mi. i don't kill for fun. you need the money to pay your debts and i need the money to keep my parents alive." a sob escapes from your mouth as she looks at you, regret takes over her.
"but i'm fucking glad you lived though. as i'm also glad you lived in 'green light, red light' when i tried to avoid shooting near you to stop you from flinching. as i'm glad i kept you alive, even if i had to stay all night on the door to look after you while you slept after the games. as i'm glad i fucking saved you, while your friends left you to die."
you grab the mask, turning around as her mouth agapes like a fish, trying to find some words to say.
she has none. she knows you're right. or maybe you're both morally gray. you're as fucked up as she is.
and maybe now, she realizes it would've been better if there were no lies from the beggining.
"baby.." she murmurs as you start to head out the door, walking away.
"take care se-mi. i- i did everything i could. i had to pick between your life and mine. and i chose you. there's a big chance they'll kill me if they see the tapes, but at least you get out of here alive." you said, placing the mask again to cover your face.
and you leave. and she lets you leave.
and she cries against the wall until there are no more tears left to cry.
maybe she lost the game, but most importantly, she lost her lover.
and now, there's not a home to come back to, because you won't be there when she does.
#player 380#player 380 x reader#se mi#se mi x reader#se-mi#se-mi x reader#lesbian#squid game#squid game 2#wlw
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Beomie (man is just sick in my head i can't think of anybody else in txt able to do this) as the captor. Sickly arranging play hunt or hide and seek every month just for the thrill of it, making it super realistic and possible for his girl to escape but she always fails.
are u insane lol. I love this. full fic on this one when?
tw, kidnapping, imprisonment, prey/predator, beomgyu is lowkey very insane, injuries/blood.
your fingers dig into the soil, dirt gathering under your nails as you crawl forward. it was dark, you could barely make out the path ahead, but you knew that you had to keep going. his laugh, sinister and maniac, echoes around you, but where it's coming from you can't tell.
it was futile, you knew that much. he would do this every single time. he would feed you with hope, he would make you believe that this time, this time you actually had a chance. ― but he would never let you go, this was all part of his games.
still, as the light of the main road comes into vision, you slowly find yourself filled with that very hope. you crawl with newfound desperation, ignoring the flaring pain that shot through your bleeding leg. ― freedom was within your grasp.
"h-help..!" your voice is hoarse, strained thanks to the effort it took just to move forward. "someone help me!"
a branch snaps somewhere behind you, and your blood runs cold. beomgyu's voice echoes through the dark trees, the sound is sickening to your ears. ― "warm or cold?" he sing-songs, his light and cherry tone laced with malice.
you don't reply, intent on following the dim light ahead as you fight for your freedom, for your life. ― "oh come on now, give me a hint!" the demand is followed by a chuckle that made the leaves on the trees turn away. the whole forest cowered at the sound.
tears flow down your cheeks, and you bite down on your lip hard enough to draw blood, anything to stop yourself from making noise. this would be the time you actually made it, this would be your salvation. you would finally be free of him and you-
"warm."
his voice is closer now, a lot closer. fuck, how did he manage to trail you like this. you pick up your pace, your arms scraping the cold and hard ground as you crawl forward. you're panting, loud enough for him to hear you're certain of that.
bushes rustle behind you, twigs snapping and his sinister fucking laugh ringing in your ears. ― "warmer..." you can make out his voice perfectly now, he couldn't be far.
but the road was so close, it was just there, just within reach. you see cars passing, their strong headlights blinding you as they drive by. this time you don't care anymore, you scream at the top of your lungs, begging and pleading for someone to help you, to save you.
"please! please help me!" ― "help please!"
it's to no avail. there was no one coming for you now. you had no one to rely on but yourself. groaning in pain, you struggle forward, sweat pooling on your forehead and running down the sides of your face. ― "warmer!" he sounds excited, almost squealing now.
desperation consumes you, terror and fright pulsating with each furious beat of your heart. just a little more...just a tiny bit more...
a firm hand wraps around your ankle, his grip harsh and unforgiving. you freeze, your heart practically stopping as all hope vanishes within the blink of an eye. ― beomgyu's chuckle is low as it rumbles within his chest, and you can feel his hot breath against your neck.
"gotcha."
he yanks you backward and you let out an ear piercing scream as the lights of the road ahead shrink until they're no longer within sight. ― beomgyu flips you onto your back, his dark and wide pupils meeting your terrified eyes.
"you lost", he states, a wide grin plastered across his face. your stomach drops, and you struggle to swallow a big fat gulp. beomgyu's fingers are hot against your cheek as he turns you face in his hands. "it's alright.." he murmurs as he leans in to press a soft kiss to your lips. you cringe at the action.
"I'll let you try again next month."
#beomgyu smut#beomgyu x reader#beomgyu x you#beomgyu fanfic#beomgyu imagines#Beomgyu drabble#beomgyu hard thoughts#beomgyu hard hours#txt smut#txt x reader#txt x you#txt fanfic#txt imagines#txt hard thoughts#txt hard hours#txt drabble#kpop drabble#kpop smut#kpop fanfic#kpop imagines#beommie's dreams
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we'll never have sex — changbin x reader ; established relationship & hurt/comfort (1.2k words)
there is nothing more beautiful than the promise of love even if you cannot guarantee or give that certain level of intimacy just yet
for my girls with a complicated relationship w sex & yes this is based off of leith ross’ song
Facetimes with Changbin always last longer than they should.
Had it been anyone else, the call would’ve dropped more than an hour ago. You’d have been found guilty for finding any excuse to warrant you some silence–the slightest tinge of awkwardness, the moment conversation runs out, faking plans.
Never with Changbin.
The static of phone calls stretch on, neither of you having moved much. You can’t remember how long it’d been since either of you said something, but you’ve never minded. The quiet that came with your boyfriend had always felt comfortable. Almost safe.
In your periphery, just at the top most right of your screen, you can see him sprawled across his bed, signature hoodie to match the boyfriend look, and fingers lazily scrolling through his phone.
“Still awake, baby?” His voice breaks the silence, teasing almost, but still gentle.
“Mhm.” You hum, shifting in your position a little. “But ‘m a little sleepy.”
“You should go to bed.”
“No.” Changbin chuckles at your refusal, deep and raspy through the phone. His eyes are crinkled at the corners, distinguishably fond even with the poor quality of the video.
For a second, you allow yourself to just watch the boy–his glazed eyes, the softness in his features accentuated by the low light of his room, the warmth of his smile.
Almost safe. Almost reassuring.
You wonder if it’s all a facade, wonder when he’d finally break, wonder when he’d leave you because you refuse to let him do anything beyond a kiss. Maybe no amount of love, even from the right person like Changbin, will ever be enough to change that.
You try to scold yourself. Self-destructing thoughts are too familiar, they reverberate in your head like you’d been thinking about it for a while, like they’d been practiced and practiced until permanently tattooed.
The tears come without warning, mid-scolding. Big and heavy and warm. They pool at the edges of your version, and it makes you feel pathetic that you hurry to press the sleeve of your hoodie against your face.
Changbin notices immediately.
“Hey.” his voice sharpens, the playful edge he’d been sporting earlier gone in a split second. “(Name)? Baby, hey, look at me. What’s wrong?”
You shake your head, and oh god, he’s going to leave you. He’s going to leave you because you’re such a crybaby, and anyone with a normal fucking mind wouldn’t do this to him. Anyone under normal—kinder—circumstances wouldn’t think like this.
“Baby.” He tries again, softer this time. “Talk to me.”
Your throat tightens around something akin to a lump. You try to swallow it down.
“Why’re you crying? What’s wrong?”
There’s a long pause before you finally speak.
“What if I… what if…” You start, voice barely above a whisper. You don’t know how to continue, words disjointed and dismembered. “If I said you could never touch me, would you still want to be with me?”
Changbin pauses for a fraction of a second, eyebrows drawn together in genuine confusion. But you go on, inundating him with the fears that have spent your entire life trying to catch up with you.
“I can’t give you what you want. It’s what you want, isn’t it? Would you still stay with me even if I told you that I never want to have sex?”
The boy’s expression softens immediately. He can hear his own heart break at how fragile you sound, at how shattering it is to look at your tear-streaked face through a screen, at the things that could’ve transpired for you to think that he’d ever leave you because of that, just because of something so menial to him in a relationship.
“Of course I’ll stay.” He says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “That doesn’t change anything.”
His words are meant to be comforting, the small but sure smile on his lips should’ve been enough to return your peace, but instead, the tears well up again. Heavier this time.
“Wait. Wait, wait—hold on.” His face suddenly disappears off the screen as he fumbles with his phone. He sounds rushed. “I’m… I can’t just look at you cry and not do anything about it.”
Then the call ends.
It isn’t until fifteen minutes later when a sudden knock on your door shakes you from your self-pity do you see him again. And he’s standing there, slightly out of breath, the same hoodie you’d seen earlier half-zipped with his hair tousled from the cold wind outside.
“Binnie.” Your voice cracks. “What are you doing here?”
Changbin doesn’t say anything at first, just allows himself to look at you—eyes tracing over the tear stains on your cheeks, and the way you’re hugging yourself with the sleeves of one of his jackets.
Then, without a word, he slips a hand beneath your jaw, tilting your face to look you in the eyes. His palms on your skin feel warm, calloused but gentle as he cradles you in his hands. “I think…” He pauses.
A heartbeat passes.
“I think you look lovely.” He murmurs, tone low and gentle, abating the tempestuous anxieties swelling in the pit of your stomach. “And I love you. Not because of what you think I’m expecting from you, but because I love you. The entirety of you.”
You press your face into the crook of his neck as an ugly sob escapes your throat. The tears spill over again, faster, and you feel so ridiculous for crying even more in front of him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I— I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” He pulls back, leaning in to press a kiss to your wet cheeks. His voice is firm, but not unkind. Never unkind. And his eyes held no hesitation, no flicker of doubt in the way he’s looking at you right now. “Did I say anything to make you feel this way?”
Changbin tries to hide how he feels about his question, like he could never imagine being the reason why you’re sobbing like this.
“No, oh my god. Binnie, no. It’s not you.”
“Okay, it’s not me.” His voice is still kind, relieved. “I’m never expecting anything from you, okay?”
And just as gentle as he’s holding you, he kisses you. Nothing desperate, nothing hurried even. Just slow and lingering, like he’s savoring the moment for exactly what it is. He isn’t kissing you to take you to bed, not to ask for anything more, not even to change your mind.
Changbin kisses you just to kiss you.
Just to hopefully show you that he means everything he said to you.
“I’ll take care of you.” His fingers thread through your hair. “I love you.”
Quietly, tiredly, you start to show a small smile. “Thank you.”
Loving you is so easy for Changbin. Like second nature. Like falling in love with your laughter, and the little parts of you that make up your sum. And you’re aware that it’s going to take time to heal yourself—that it won’t be so easy all the time, that there will be days like these again, but you also know enough that he is genuine and that he loves you with no expectations even if it’s hard to believe sometimes.
Seo Changbin loves you with every bit of conscience he was born with. He loves you simply.
You stay like this for a while. Safe. Reassuring. Until you feel the sickness less and less.
#skz x reader#stray kids fic#changbin x reader#seo changbin x reader#changbin x you#stray kids changbin x reader#stray kids au#changbin imagines#changbin au#stray kids angst#stray kids fluff#changbin angst#changbin fluff#stray kids scenarios#stray kids drabbles#stray kids oneshots#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#stray kids oneshot#changbin scenarios#seo changbin scenarios#stray kids fanfic#skz x reader fic#skz x you#skz angst#skz fluff#skz imagines
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Without You || CHOI SAN
Synopsis: Life without you was empty. Life after I left was unbearable. But now that I'm back, I will never let us go through that again.
WARNINGS: Please read "I'll be back" first to understand bc this is in San's point of view, fluff, suggestive, San is an assassin, fights, blood, cuts, death, gory-ish, angst(MY FAV), stabbing, guns, argument between Y/N and San, son is used as a term of endearment, "baby" is used for Y/N, I know I am missing, just lmk :)
Word Count: 15K Started: Dec 2, 2024 Finished: Feb 9, 2025
Blossom's Note: Happy New Years my petals. May this year bring you love and protection. Now this story had me feeling all types of things, definitely a whirlwind of emotions. Shoutout to the Anonymous Petal who gave me this idea. Title was inspired by Infinite H's Without U ft Zion T (Chef's kiss song) I truly hope it lives up to your standards. Now without further ado, grab a drink and popcorn and enjoy!
—
FIRST ENCOUNTER
"Understood." San says into the burner flip phone, nodding his head once. "Yes, sir. I'll get it done." And with that he presses the hang up button and breaks it in half as he starts walking, throwing the broken phone away in a nearby trash can.
He shoved his hands in the coat’s pockets as he takes precise, steady movements trailing behind his target. He squints his eyes at the sudden gush of wind, letting out a sigh. He repeats in his head no distractions like a mantra, just wanting to finish this and go home.
He sticks within the shadows he finds in the broad day light, such as building’s walls, when his target makes sudden stops along the way. It’s almost as if San is able to bled in with the bustling crowd—easy to slip and slide, getting closer to the target.
Within his coat was a deadly syringe filled with a lethal chemical, all ready to use as he plays the game of patience—waiting for the perfect opening. San moves closer, taking out a pair of black leather gloves and hastily puts them on. Just as the distance gets shorter and shorter he reaches into his coat and suddenly—
BAM!
Everyone in the crowd jolts from the sudden noise of construction. San follows the noise with his eyes as he turns to the side, seeing a construction worker using a jack hammer to break up concrete. He shakes his head and sighs in frustration, returning to his target—but just when he was about to look away, he spots you.
“Oh my god.” He whispered in disbelief, eyes slightly widening. It’s all like a movie right now—time fucking stopped when he spotted you across the street, walking in slow motion as you ran a hand through your hair while the wind blew.
You had to be one of the most beautiful woman San has ever seen. He couldn’t even control his body as he took steps forward as if in a trance while people moved around him—not caring if he was being shoved by some. San was mesmerized by your beauty. The way your presence commanded space, as the buzzing crowd moves around you.
Everything just seems to fade away—people and noise—and it felt like he had the perfect view of you. If his eyes were able to form those cartoon heart eyes, they would be in that shape right now. How can he describe this foreign feeling? Is this what they call love at first sight?
Soon enough, San was able to snap out of his day dreaming when a passing car honked at him causing him to jump back. He gasped in shock, “Shit!” He said looking at the car with widen eyes, chest heaving. Reality hits him as he looks to the side and watched his target move further away, and then he looks at you, also getting further away. “Fuck.” He whispers to himself as he walks to the direction of his target.
So much for distractions, right?
San sucked the front of his teeth as he shook his head, rushing to his target. He’ll come back to you. As he finally catches up, he realizes that the way everything was set up for perfect for San. The streets were alive with the random street vendors, crowd moving in different directions, people chattering and shouting that mixed with the traffic noise—all that’s needed to making this a smooth kill.
He watched as the target froze in his steps right in the center of the bustling crowd as he yelled into the phone causing some dirty looks at him for both blocking the pathway and screaming so loud as they moved around him.
San reached into his coat and popped the cover off the needle and took it out as he slithered through the crowd like a snake. He kept his head low, only looking up when he heard the roaring of the man’s loud voice. “No– Shut up, shut up!” The man argued with the person on the phone, “You listen to me–“
And in one swift motion, San had brushed past him with his hand barely grazing the man’s neck. “Hey,” he calls to San who froze in his steps and turned to him, “watch where you’re going.” He scoffs at him and then returns to the person on the phone. San smirked at him and turns away from, leaving before the madness.
And just in a matter of seconds, the man suddenly shot his hand to his neck, gripping it as he stumbles back a bit—his vision started to get disoriented as panic and confused surged through the man’s body. He couldn’t feel his limbs causing for him to drop his phone and then his body. Foam started forming at his mouth as he lied there with his eyes open.
A woman’s terrified scream can be heard causing people to look at the direction of the scream. “Someone call an ambulance!” A bystander said as people gathered around the body. People covered their eyes and mouth’s in shock of the sight.
San looked over his shoulder as he watched the circle of people. He throws away the syringe in a trash can and takes off his gloves, securing them in his coat as he picks up the pace. Now he can focus on you.
—
Returning back to the scene of when he first saw you, he wasted no time in trying to search for you. To say he looked like a mad man would be an understatement. He went into every single store in the proximity in hopes that you were there but you were nowhere to be found.
He lets out a groan of frustration when he leaves a little book store. He sighs in disappointment as he tucked his hands in his coat, a pout forming on his lips. But then, by a fucking miracle, he sees you coming out of a store with a huge smile on your face as you examine the things you bought in the bag that clings on your arm.
He swears he can see stars at the sight. In that moment he decides to just follow you. He tells himself that he going to be quiet and keep his distance—but as someone who is trained to be silent, quick minded, and able to kill people, even with the most ruthless methods— he was anything but the sort. He doesn’t know how but you had him so nervous and clumsy and he doesn’t even know who you are.
The first time you looked over your shoulder, just to glance back at some of mannequins that were dressed in pretty shirts, San had frozen in steps and cleared his throat as he adjusted his coat. He looked out into the distance as he sniffed, making it seem as if he totally wasn’t following you.
He slowly peaks to the side as he sees you continuing on your path to which he followed. But the second time you had stop to turn around San was thrown off guard which caused him to trip over his own feet, catching himself before his face eats the floor. He played it off while doing this horrible, awkward hop dance to play it off but—hold on, he could’ve sworn he saw you chuckling as you faced forward to keep walking.
—
It had gotten to the point where you already knew you were being followed by him so you just froze in your steps and turned around, crossing your arms as you pushed your hip to the side. He gasped as he rushed to hide behind a light post, unconsciously wrapping his arms around it.
He is mentally face palming himself right now as he stares at the large lake in front of him, wishing he could drown in it right now. When he peaks, he sees you staring at him as you raised an eyebrow at him to which he sighed because he was caught red handed. Great, I look like a stalker when in reality I was just scared to approach her.
He removes himself as he tried to find enough courage while approaching you. His heart was beating so hard against his chest, his palms were all sweaty as he wiped his hands on his pants. “Hey–Uh–I–“
He fumbled with his words as he saw how gorgeous you were up close. His eyes slightly widen as you tilted your head in confusion with a raised eyebrow, “May I help you?” You asked with curiosity and amusement in your tone.
He blinked, all flustered as he cleared his throat. “You like to–uh,” he scratched the back of his head. “I–I just think that you’re pretty.” He rushed out the last few words. Wow, real fucking smooth you idiot, he thought to himself.
You kept the eyebrow raised as you wondered if you should laugh or start backing the fuck away from this man, which made San internally panic at your silence. Soon a smirk starts to form on your lips as you eyed him up and down, “Oh,” your tone was filled with amusement, “I know you.”
His heart skips a beat, “What?” He said in a shock, eyebrows furrowed as his eyes widened.
You kept that smirk on your lips as tilted your head slightly to the side. “Yeah, you’re that guy who almost got run over from the car earlier? Or when you tripped over your feet and did that dance?” Your eyes carried mischief in them. “So far you hiding behind the light post as if your shoulders weren’t going to give you away has been my favorite.”
San turned red, completely flushed in a deep red of embarrassment. She saw all of that? Trying to save himself, he inhaled and turned to the side trying to look mysterious, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He squeaks out causing you to laugh at his reaction.
Seeing how he won’t win this, he let out a defeated sigh. “Okay,” he closed his eyes as he threw his head back in embarrassment, “Yes, unfortunately that was me.” He looks down to the floor, unable to look at your face. “I’m not as smooth as I thought I was.” A small pour forms on his lips.
You just laughed at his reaction, the smile reaching up to your eyes. You eyed him up and down once more before extending your hand out, “I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself.
His head shoots up at the introduction. He looks between your hand and face, that still held a smile. Shake it, idiot. “Oh,” he says taking your hand and shaking it. “I’m San. Choi San.” He scratched the back of head, “I promise I’m not normally like this.” He lets out sheepish smile and chuckle.
You nodded. “I figured.” You said with a playful tone.
There was a moment of silence before you cleared your throat, removing your hand from his grasp as you crossed your arms, “So,” you started off, “Is there a reason why you followed me or do I have call the cops?”
San jumped in his spot, “No!” He blurted out as he puts his hands up, feeling his heart racing. “I mean–no, please.” He lets out a nervous laugh. He then takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, “It’s just that–Well, when I saw you I just thought that you were beautiful and I couldn’t find you so I tried looking for you and I was scared to approach you so I just followed–“
He cuts off his own rambling thinking he sounds like an absolute stalker, but to his surprise you had an amuse look on your face. He cleared his throat, speaking clear, “I wanted to ask you out on a date.” He said boldly before falling back into his nervous, stammering self, “Only if–if you wanted to. If you were interested.”
A playful glint was in your eyes before you nodded your head. “Sure,” you said, “I’ll go on a date with you.”
Maybe he misheard, “What? Wait, really?” He asked and you nodded at him with a smile. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” You laughed at him. You kept a mischievous smile on your face, before crossing your arms. “Just so you know, I expect a good dinner. I do have expensive taste—You think you can keep up with that?” You asked him playfully as you reached to your back pocket and unlocked it so, handing it to him.
He smirks as he nodded. “I’ll keep up with whatever you throw at me.” He grabs your phone and inputs his number, writing San on the contact name. “Okay, there you go.” He hands the phone back to you.
You sent him a text and he got it immediately. “There, now you have mine.” You tell him. And with that, you two exchanged your goodbyes. He watched as you started to walk away but stopped at a distance turning to him, “Also, no tripping to the floor or getting run over by cars on the date.” You yelled at him, teasing him as you waved goodbye before walking away.
He chuckles, looking down feeling a bit flushed of redness on his cheeks. He swears he is high on life right now as he walks through the park—it’s as if nothing can ruin this moment. Suddenly, his personal phone starts ringing and too much in a euphoric feeling, he didn’t even bother looking at who was calling him as picked up in a dazed out tone, “Yes~?”
“San!” The rough voice yelled sternly. “It has been hours. You have yet to call. Did you complete the task or no?” It was his boss, Lee.
In a snap, he stands up straight wiping that goofy smile off his face as reality hits him. Oh shit, he thinks to himself. “Yes sir. The task is completed.” He cleared his throat, “I’ll report when I arrive.”
—
The first date was something that was huge for San. First and foremost, it was his first date, ever. He wanted everything to be perfect for you so he did some "research" by watching romantic movies and searching up date ideas. He felt so overwhelmed at the amount of ideas so he just decided to go with what his heart said.
He wanted a picnic at the very same park where he asked you out. He didn't want to go to the movies or do anything too crazy because he just wanted to get to know you, from what your favorite color was to what your ambitions are for life. He even cooked all the food, yes some parts were burnt but you told him it was the best part—it was extra flavor.
You smiled at the way he eased his shoulders. When he looked to the side, you gulped a good amount of water, trying to get rid of the taste. Honestly, you aren't fan of burnt food but today you will inhale anything that is burnt. You would eat a whole burnt piece of meat to prove how much you appreciate the time and dedication San took to make this date comfortable and wonderful.
You have never had anyone do the things San has done for you in just a span of a few hours. Something about him captivated you and honestly you feel lucky to have met him. Since that day on, you two were inseparable. Throughout the following weeks the feels for one another grew and grew and it was only a matter of time before San would ask you out.
Tonight was movie night—San’s favorite night. It always ended up with the most cringe worthy movies with you lying on top of him as he runs his fingers through your hair—which is exactly what’s happening. But instead of him watching the movie, he’s watching you. He chuckles over your reactions when you laugh at something stupid or when you face palm at the second hand embarrassment.
He stares at you with eyes of memorization. He has fallen so deeply for you. He can’t believe he got so lucky to experience such a rare emotion—love—in his life. He didn’t know someone could bring it out of him, but he was more than happy that it was you.
Which is all the reason why he has decided to quit and leave this horrid life he has known since little and start anew. For you and for him—for this future he desperately wants to have with you. And tonight, he was going to get out no matter what.
“You know you don’t have to go.” Your soft voice that had a hint of playfulness in it rang in his ears as you looked up at him and placed your chin on his chest to look up at him. “It’s late,” you smiled mischievously as you moved up, closing the distance, hovering over his lips, “might as well stay the night.”
The ending credits were rolling with a slow ending song in the background that fits the mood. San groans lightly as his hand makes way to your hair, caressing it, “You know I can’t, beautiful.” He whispered to you. San has made it very clear he wants to respect you and your boundaries until you two are official. Plus, he doesn’t want anything official until he is done with his other life.
He doesn’t want to risk someone knowing about you. Plus, this is the first time he is ever experiencing this and he wants to take it slow, let things form naturally.
But you on the other, make it very difficult for him to stay sane. The way you look at him makes him come undone almost instantly, but he fights the urge. You love that he is respect of you, but shit, you just want to pounce on him sometimes—like tonight.
You sighed and got up, letting out a sigh of annoyance as you crossed your arms. “Why not?” You asked, close to stomping like a spoiled child who is getting told no.
He lets out a chuckle at your reaction as he stands up and walks up to you, putting his finger under your chin as he places a kiss on your lips. “You know why, baby.” He tells you.
You bit down your lip to stop yourself from smiling like an idiot as you look away, all annoyed but in reality you didn’t want him to see you blushing. You roll your eyes and look back at him, “Tell me,” you say, “Who is she?”
San was taken aback, furrowing his eyebrows as he tilts his head to the side, “Who’s who?” Asking you while looking at you as if you were crazy.
“Is there someone else?” You asked him and you placed your hand on your hips, trying to stop the smile that’s forming on your lips.
“What?! No!” He exclaimed with widen eyes. “You know it’s not like that, Y/N. There is no one else, I prom–“
He stops his rambling when he sees you starting to laugh. You throw your arms over his shoulders, “Sannie, I know. I’m just joking. Just trying to keep you on your toes.” You tell him through your giggles, kissing his cheeks.
He gives you a deadpan look, “You stress me out.” He tells you playfully, wrapping his arms around you. “Did you know that?” He smirks at you.
“Oh,” you tilt your head to the side smirking, “Do I?” You asked as you removed yourself from his hold, brushing past him as you sat on the sofa, letting out a sigh. “You can leave then–“
“Y/N, come on. Don’t be like that baby–“
“I’ll just be here.” You cut him off as you stare into his eyes, reaching your jacket’s zipper at the top, “all alone,” you say seductively as you watched him gulp, pulling down the zipper to reveal the exposing tight tank top underneath, “missing you.”
San stayed silent for a moment before he shook his head and looked away, covering his eyes with his hand, “Woman, my virgin eyes. We mustn’t.” He said sounding all innocent.
“Oh, please San! Virgin eyes?!” You laugh at him getting a stern like with you as you throw him pillow from your sofa.
He then looks at you and starts to walk to you, which got you all excited because you think that you finally broke this man—but no. “I know what you’re doing.” He said in a low voice, placing a hot kiss underneath your ear. “And it’s not going to work.” His lips trail to your lips as he zipped up your jacket, pecking your lips once.
You opened your eyes, panting as the realization hit you. He smirked as he stood up, “Two can play that game.” He tells you. Feeling the frustration within you build up, you went hit him with another pillow but he moved fast enough as he let out a too slow laugh.
“Choi San!” You yelled at him as you watched him walk to the door. You glared at him as he extending his arms out to the sides, waiting for a hug to which you huffed and looked away. After a few seconds, you looked back and saw him in the same position with a goofy smile on his face.
You pursed your lips as you got up, stomping with attitude in each step. You opened your arms out and looked to the side causing him to quickly pull you into his embrace. “You’re impossible you know that?” He mumbled to you.
You let out a small smile as you wrapped your arms around him and looked into his eyes, “Yeah, but you still like me, don’t you?” You say softly.
He throws his head back and lets out a sigh of satisfaction then looks back to you and smile. “More than you know.” He whispers to you and placed a sweet, long kiss on your lips. “I’ll see you soon?” He asked and you nodded.
“Yeah.” You whispered back. With one last kiss he left and you gently closed the door. You leaned your back on it as you stomped your foot feeling so frustrated at his actions.
You walked to the sofa with slumped shoulders as you dived into it, face planting into the pillow—letting out a small scream. “This man is going to be the death of me.” You say to yourself as you have flashbacks to how he kissed you.
_
The elevator dinged open, revealing a dimly lit bar with low hums of conversations scattered among the place—clinking of glasses filled the air as San stepped in to the place, noting how the men all along the walls looked at him before returning their gazes. If there was one place San knew like the back of his hand, it was here. A sanctuary—a home— that oozed with danger.
San’s eyes scanned the room until it stopped on a familiar face. He watched as the older man swirled his drink before taking a sip, who in the moment spotted San. He gives a small wave and a smile, “San!” The older man chuckles at him, “To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked him as he approaches him. “Come, come. Sit with me.”
The older man takes a chair for him and pats it for him. He raised his forefinger to the bartender, gesturing for one cup. San felt his chest tighten as he gulped watching the bartender a cup down on the table. He watches his boss Lee, grab the cup and started to pour. “Boss,” his voice was low—a slight pause with his words, “I–,” He takes in a deep breath. “I want out.” He said firmly.
Lee froze mid-pour. “Out.” He repeated with furrowed eyebrows. He lifted his eyes to San and then back down to the drink, giving him a small laugh. He sighs out as he places the cup down, “I’ve always known this day would come. I just did not think it would be so soon.” He gives a small smile to San.
He raises his glass with a raised eyebrow prompting San to grab his, clinking glasses together. After a moment of silence Mr. Lee spoke out, “So, you want to leave.” He says, slightly sadden by the news.
San places his drink down, wiping his hands on his pants as he sits up straight. He nods his head once, “Yes, sir.”
Lee nods once, processing this. “Why the sudden change?” He tilts his head, swirling the drink in his hand, maintaining his eye contact with San.
“It’s not sudden, sir.” San begins. “First and foremost I just want to say that I am beyond grateful that you took me in and gave me the life I have. Without you, I don’t know where I would be. Truly. But, I just think… it’s time for me to move on.” San said, lowering his gaze feeling a bit nervous and worried.
Lee just stays silent, eyeing San up and down—almost as if he’s studying him. “Hmm,” he hummed at him, taking a sip before slamming his cup down. “It’s a girl, isn’t it?” He smirked at San.
San just stayed silent as he looked into his eyes. Lee’s eyes narrowed slightly, smirk growing wider as if he was amused. The man claps his hands and his laughter echoed throughout causing for his men to shift their attention to him for a second. “I knew it, I knew it~” He does a little shoulder dance as he leans in closer to taunt San. “Of course it is. Who would’ve thought your cold heart would be melted, huh? You’re in love.”
San groans in embarrassment, shoulders slumped as he facepalms. “Boss,” it comes out muffled, “please.” He pleaded with him.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” He asked him, with a teasing smile and a raised eyebrow.
San peaked through his fingers, a small pause. “Yes.” He squeaks out, trying to him his composure—trying to stop himself from swinging his legs under the table like a school girl as he blushes hard.
“Ou!” His boss shoved him as he fan girled with him. Would you believe the sight of two of the most toughest, deadliest men in the world are acting like two school girls as they gossip over San’s love life?
After a moment though, unfortunately, the seriousness climbs back in—killing all happiness in the air. “San,” his boss leans on the table and he intertwined his fingers, “You know how this works. You know you can’t just simply leave.” Of course, San knew, but for you he was willing to do anything.
He watches as Lee pours another drink for himself. “I have a job for you.” He said simply. “A job that only that you can do.”
“Anything.” San said, body all stiffened up as he paid close attention.
Lee leans slightly in, “There are men—powerful men— who have gotten away with the most vile, inhumane things. They all think that with the money, status, even influence they have, that they can hide behind it. Almost as if they are untouchable—but you, San, are going to change that.”
Internally, San is feeling his heart racing—unsure of what is to unfold in this conversation. Externally, he remains his calm demeanor, “What are you trying to tell me?”
“What I’m telling you is that if you want out, then this is what you must do. You will take all of them down—permanently.” His voice got stern. Lee leans back in his chair, “Think of it as cleansing to the world. Do this for me and you are free.”
He grabs a folder that was lying next to him, sliding it to San—it’s like as if he knew this interaction was going to happen. “Names, locations, habits, crimes—everything you need is in there.”
San grabs the folder and opens it. His heart started racing as his eyes scanned the different pages, his eyes widening. “Do you know what you’re asking me to do? This is impossible.” San looked at him as he leaned back in his chair, all in disbelief. They are politicians, CEOs—all different important figures.
“I’m asking you—No—Demanding you to do this job.” Lee said with a slight raise in his voice. But he can’t help to let out a sigh as he places a comforting hand on San’s shoulder. “San, I care about you very much, like a son, hence why I am giving you a chance out. But you are the only one who I trust with this type of job.”
Lee leans back in his chair, raising the glass to his lips. “And if you want to be with Y/N,” San’s eyes quickly shoot to him, feeling his face drain color, “then this is what you must do.” He takes a sip of his drink.
If looks could kill, Mr. Lee would’ve been dead as soon as your name came out of his mouth. Lee has never seen such a murderous look on San’s face before and, trust him, that says a lot. He laughs at his reaction, “Relax.” He tells him as he waves him off. “You know I had to make sure. She’s a good one. I can see why you want to leave all of this for her.”
San should’ve fucking known. Of course, Lee would know—he knows everything. Now San is left with this blessing and curse of approval. Lee stands up, grabbing his coat and placing it on as he signaled his men that it’s time to go. “Think it over.” He tells San as he adjusts his coat and walks past him, patting his shoulder.
Think it over? There was nothing to think over. San is a man who knows what he wants and what he wants is you. He would find the ends of the Earth just for you. San stands up, the chair rusting against the floor. “I’ll do it.” He shouts to his boss.
Lee grabs his hat off the rack and enters the elevator, his men all trailing behind him. He smirks at San, “I knew you would.” And with that the elevator door closes, leaving San to figure his next strategy as he sits back down ordering a drink.
_
It was a beautiful, dark night. The stars twinkling and gleaming from afar as the moonlight casts over the city. Up in the roof San was crouched low, carefully assembling his sniper rifle piece by piece. You could say he was a bit nervous, but not from the mission—no, no—it was from your soft voice in his ear Bluetooth.
“I miss you.” Your voice ringed so sweet in his ears, it had him biting on his lower lip as he formed a smile. “When are you coming over again?” You asked, turning to lay on your stomach on the bed as you slowly kicked your legs up and down.
“I’ll come over soon baby.” He murmured in a low and steady voice. You let out a silent scream at his voice and sweet name as you covered your mouth, kicking your feet like a school girl. But in all honesty, San didn’t know when he would be going to see you—given the task at hand.
You regained your composure, clearing your throat bringing the phone closer to you. “Soon is what you said last time.” You spoke with a pout on your lips. You sat up on the bed and let out a sigh. “Are you avoiding me?” You crossed your arms.
San chuckled softly at your slight attitude, his hand tightened up the last piece of the rifle’s scope into place. His eyes flickered to the building across from him, seeing his target’s silhouette visible through the window. “Avoiding you? Why would I ever do something stupid. You’re all I think about.”
You bit down on your finger to stop yourself from squealing, feeling your heart swarm with warmness from his words. “You think about me?” You asked while playing with the ends of your hair. “When, huh?” You smirk as you bit your lip.
He smirks as he looks through the scope, his eyes following the shadow. “All day, everyday. When I wake up to when I go to sleep. Every second, every minute, every hour.” His voice sounding so sweet.
You let out a very dramatic, exaggerated sigh as you fall on your back bouncing a bit from impact. “You’re luck you’re cute. Otherwise I would be very angry right now.”
San remained the smirk on his face as he adjusted the rifle and settled into position. “Oh, so you think I’m cute?” The cold metal pressed against his cheek as he peered once more through the scope. The target was all alone in his office, all clear in the view, oblivious on what’s about to happen. “I’m flattered.” He teased at you, voice was light as he tracked his target’s movements.
“Pfft,” you let out as you playfully rolled your eyes. “Don’t let it get it your head.” You tried replying with a serious tone but he can hear the smile in your voice. “So, what are you doing right now?” You asked him.
San hesitated for a split second as he looks around. “Just… working.” He said vaguely, his tone softening as his thumb gently adjusted the scope’s zoom.
“Hmm,” you mused. “Well, don’t work too hard now. You better be taking care of yourself, okay?”
San’s smile faltered for a moment, guilt creeping in. “Don’t worry. I am.” He says. He realized he can’t do this if you’re on the phone, distracting him. "Listen, beautiful, I have to go—Boss is coming in." He lies to you.
“Okay.” You sighed out the word as you sat up, shoulders slumped as you gnawed on your lip. “How about if I call you tonight?” He asked you, hated hearing your sad tone. You quickly perked up, “Okay! Perfect.” You gleamed. “I’ll be waiting for you then, bye!” He laughed at your switch up reaction when you hung up quickly—as if time will go faster.
Through the scope, he saw that his target stood up, walking to the window. San adjusted himself in position, his breathing slowed down as his finger hovered over the trigger. All the noise went silent as he exhaled steadily, aiming at the man’s chest.
With practice precision, he tightened the trigger. The sound of the shot radiated through the night. Instantly, the man collapsed to the floor, blood oozing out of his chest. San kept his eyes on the body, making sure the job was completed. He exhaled slowly as he stood, hand already disassembling the rifle. He felt all the tension just leaving his body.
He places everything back in its spot in the case, packing up. He stands up, stretching his neck and staring in the far distance as the night breeze blows, running a hand through his hair. He grabs the case and disappears into the shadow of the night. This was just the beginning but he was going to get it all done—for you.
-
The following missions were a blur of danger and exhaustion. Every single target pushed San to his breaking point both physically and mental limit—testing his resolve in ways he could have never imagined. One night he was in hand to hand fight in a warehouse, barely avoiding a knife to his ribs to another night infiltrating a high security party, he smoothing past through the guards and tight knit surveillance to drop a pill in his target’s drink.
The elevator doors open revealing a different atmosphere in the bar tonight. He turns to the side and spots Lee at the center, nursing the same drink as always with a cigar in his other hand. Hearing the elevator door close, Lee turns and gives a smile when he spots San.
San approached him. “Boss.” He says firmly, standing in the position of attention, hands behind his back.
“There he is!” Lee exclaimed as he stands up and grabs San’s face with a huge smile on his face. “The man who did the impossible.” Lee turns to the bartender, “One more glass.”
“Come sit, sit,” he waves San over and taps the stool next to him. “Always so stiff.” Lee mumbled to himself as he raised the glass to his lips and takes a sip.
San was hesitant, but he eventually slid into the stool, dragging it closer inward. He watches as his boss poured him a glass with a smile on his face—almost as if he was a proud father.
“So,” Lee began, placing the bottle down as he leaned back in chair studying San with a sadden gaze. “How does it feel, mm? You’re finally free.”
San chuckles softly as he grabs the glass and takes a sip, the burn of the alcohol makes his face scrunch up slightly. “It feels… foreign. But,” he looks at Lee, “I’m ready.”
Lee chuckles and pats his arm. “I know you are.” He sighs as he swirled the liquid in his glass, “You’ve grown, so much. You deserve this new life, San. I mean it. Love it to the fullest.” He turned to face him and raised his glass for a toast. “To a new chapter”
They clinked glasses, the sound echoing softly in the quiet bar. For the first time in years, San felt the weight on his shoulders begin to lift. He was finally free. After a while of talking, San decided it was time to go home—you.
But Lee stops him. “San,” he calls to him. San stops in his steps, turning around to face him. “Yes, sir?”
Lee chuckles softly at the name. “You know that if you need anything—anything at all—I will always be here for you.”
San smiles, nodding. “Thank you, sir.” And with that he leaves rushing to go see you.
That same night he went to your apartment and official asked you to be his and this time he stayed with you.
_
DURING THE RELATIONSHIP
The early stages of your relationship with San were of course, the sweetest. You both loved falling in love with each other and discovering new things or habits from one another. You loved the balance you both had in the relationship.
From the random, sleep deprived 2am conversations such as asking if you were a fly would he still be your boyfriend to which he replied saying, “Why would you be a fly to begin with?” Which prompt you sit up in your bed, clutching onto the phone saying, “Answer the question!”
“I mean–I guess, right?” He shrugged. “Are you serious? You guess?! I would take care of you, make sure you were fed on whatever fly eats…” You started rambling which San groan lightly as he rub his face, this is going to be a long night, he thought to himself.
To making core memories in the rain, trying to replicate like those dramatic kissing scenes in movies only for you two to scream in fear when thunder radiated throughout the night as you two ran for shelter, catching your breaths only to look at each and laugh, “We’re so stupid.” You say through your laughs, panting.
Or his favorite moments is when you would come by his new job at the tire shop unexpectedly and would have lunch with him. “Hey,” you greeted him on the phone as you leaned your back on your car, “I got the stuff.”
He sneered at your comment as you hung up the phone. He went and washed his hands, stepping outside as he dried his hands with a paper towel. He spots you outside your car, doing a little beckoning dance with both sandwiches in each hand to which he chuckled as he got close.
“Thank you for the food.” He whispers to you, placing a gentle kiss on your lips as he takes the food from your hand. You smiled at him, “Of course.” You two then headed to a bench where you threw one leg over his and started catching him up on your work’s fresh gossip.
“And then she was like, “I’m not putting up with your shit.” Can you believe she said that?” You tell San as you take a bite out of your food.
“No way she said that to her boss. She’s crazy for doing that.” San said trying to give his input but in reality he could give a shit, but seeing you all passionate in your story made him smile.
You looked at him with widen eyes, covering your food filled mouth, “That’s what I said! She’s crazy.” Your words came out muffled as you shook your head.
Or when he notices your car needs gas so he goes with you and does everything for you so you don’t have to worry about a thing. He gets an idea, smirking as he taps on your passenger window, asking you to put it down. “Never seen a beautiful girl like you here before.” He leans on the car, getting a good view.
You give him a stank face as you dropped your phone, crossing your arms. “I have a boyfriend.” Scoffing at him.
“Oh, do you?” He tilts his head to the side, “Where is he?” He asked, hands leaning in the car.
“Please, you would be scared of him. He can beat your ass. Now, shoo shoo, please.” You waved him off, raising the window. San scoffed and took out the keys and unlocked the door, opening it as you gasped in shock, “My boyfriend–“
“Won’t do anything.” He cuts you off and kisses you, causing you to smile into it. He breaks the kiss and pouts, “You would let the man kiss you that easily?” You rolled your eyes and kissed his pout.
Or the serious moments you two had with one another in the car when he was dropping you off or when you were in your house, sitting closely together. You two would ask each other deep questions like what you want from this relationship, do you want marriage, kids, are you happy with the jobs you have, is there more you want from life helping you two bring out new perspectives and experiences in these conversations.
Or when making huge decisions, such as moving in together. San has decided to ask you a little into the two years of your relationship, wanting to take it to the next level. It was an exciting time when you both went apartment hunting and finally found one that spoke to you both.
You both had taken your time in being organize for the move, checking what is to throw away or donate, labeling the boxes, getting caught up in tape at times. When the moving truck came, San had taken the heavy boxes while you dragged some and some of the movers helped you pick it up.
When it was time, San closed the truck and you two followed them to your new apartment. It was a sight to see San getting a frustrated when he was struggling to set up the new sofa, rereading the instructions for the 20th time. Meanwhile you were organizing and taking things out the boxes, trying to not make it obvious that you were laughing.
You cleared your throat when a laugh erupted deep from your throat causing him to give you a look, “You think this is funny?” He asks you all frustrated as he drops the stupid paper of instructions.
You sighed a smile as you walked to him. You know he’s just exhausted and frustrated from the move, he’s not trying to take it out on you. You extend your hand to him and helped him up, “Baby, I know you’re frustrated. It’s okay.” Your hands roam his back.
You then take both of his hands and walked backwards, guiding him to the bedroom. “The bed is made, right? Why don’t we double check that it’s secure?” You smiled at him which made him bit his lower lips, smirking, as he closed the door behind him.
Don’t worry, the bed was secure and the sofa was soon built.
—
Like many other relationship, there were the hard times—Arguments which were just the worst. Take tonight for example when you coworkers had invite you and San to this new sports bar and they just so happen to invite one of their friends, who was very friendly to San—who by the way was blinded by her actions.
“No way, so you work at a tire shop?” Jina said she leaned closer to San, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I think that’s so cool. I’ve always wanted to learn how to change a tire, maybe you can help me?” She flirtatiously blinks her eyes twice, looking up at him.
Ugh, you think to yourself as you angrily chewed off a piece of celery you dipped in ranch. You rolled your eyes as you look to side, but everyone was too caught in their respective conversations to notice. “Surprisingly it’s not that hard.” He smiled at her, “I’m sure you can do it.”
You are certainly amazed at how strong the cup is because your tight ass grip feels like it can shatter it at any moment. You take a sip of your beer, trying to calm down when she placed her hand on his bicep. “You’re so sweet,” she chuckles at him as she flicks her hair back, “But I definitely need some guidance.”
He just smiles at her, taking a sip of his drink. She looks at you, “Oh, Y/N, you’re very lucky,” she gives you a smile as she looks back at him. “He’s such a sweetheart.”
You flash her a sarcastic smile, mocking her head tilt and toke of voice, “Mm, yes, I am the luckiest. He’s the best.” Bitch.
—
Throughout the entire night Jina continued with her flirtatious ways. Every time San would make joke, she laughed a little too hard as she playfully slapped his arm, covering her mouth. Or when she would excuse herself to the restroom, she would use that moment to brush up against him, using his shoulders for support as some people walked past her. Or when she would scoot her chair closer to San.
At this point, saying your patience was wearing thin was an understatement. You knew San wasn’t letting her do this, he was oblivious to everything and tried remaining polite because he did not want to disrespect your coworkers or ruin the night.
—
You stepped into the apartment, angrily removing your shoes, using the wall for support. You shook off your coat and hung it with attitude on the rack as you started walking to the bedroom.
San eyed you up and down, trying to figure out why you’re acting like this. “Are you okay?” He raised an eyebrow as he took off his coat.
“Yeah.” You say dryly as you walked to the room. He throws his head back and sighs in frustration, “Baby, talk to me.” He shouts to you but you just ignore him.
He walks into the room, seeing that you changed into an oversized tee shirt. Dumping your dirty clothes in the hamper, you walked to the bathroom. “Baby, what’s going on?” He asked you softly, following you.
You stopped your actions and gave him a look, “Why don’t you ask Jina?” You say spitting out her name like poison as you kept walking to the bathroom.
He stands there all confused, “Jina? Why would I ask her?” He asked you genuinely confused which only fueled your frustration even more.
You scoffed as you bend down, grabbing your makeup remover from underneath. “Are you serious San?” You turned to him, “Jina was basically throwing herself on you the entire night.”
You opened your cleansing balm, scooping some and angrily rubbed your face. “Y/N, she was just being nice. That’s it.” He tells you as he crossed his arms.
You let out a humorless laugh, “Oh please San, nice?” You tell him as you put water on your face and took off the balm. “Oh, you work on cars? Let me just laugh hard at all your jokes, place my hand on you, brush up against you and disrespect your girlfriend in her face.” You mocked her tone of voice. “She was all over you tonight.”
He sighed, “Baby, she wasn’t—“ San started but stopped in his words when you stopped drying your face to give him a pissed off look, “Okay, maybe she was being too friendly. But I wasn’t paying attention to her like that at all.”
You scoffed out, shaking your head. “No, I can definitely tell by the way you just kept letting her.” You turned off the bathroom lights and brushed past him, standing by the dresser as you take off your earrings. “You didn’t even bother to notice the way she kept touching you, or the way she was moving closer to you—“ You shook your head, trying to stop your tears, “How do you think that made me feel?” Your voice trembled.
His heart breaks at the tone of your voice. He walks up to you and cups your face, planting a kiss on your forehead. “Baby, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I only spoke to her because it was your coworker’s friend, that’s it.” He whispers to you, looking deep into your eyes. “You know that you’re the only one for me. The only one I care about.”
You removed yourself from his grasp, turning around and pinching your nose bridge as the hot tears formed. “It didn’t feel like it tonight.”
San looks at you with sad eyes. He hates it when he is the reason as to why you’re hurt. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to him. “I never meant to make you upset or uncomfortable. I promise you that this won’t happen ever again.”
“You promise?” You asked him once more and he turns you around, smiling at you as he wipes your tears with his thumbs, “I promise.” He tells you, nodding.
He leans in to kiss you and you stop him with your forefinger, “Um, just cause this argument is over doesn’t mean I’m over it. ” You tell him sassily and he laughs, planting a kiss on your cheek.
“Well, can I show you another way on how sorry I am?” He raised an eyebrow as he got on his knees, keeping the eye contact with you. His hands roam the back of your legs as you threw your head back in frustration, you have no restraint.
-
Throughout the past five years you two have grown and changed so much in your relationship and in your own personal lives. You are so happy that San is in your life and vice versa. He truly couldn’t believe how drastically his life has changed. But he wouldn’t trade it for the world.
The sound of the sizzling meat filled the cozy silence in the room while the aroma filled up your senses. San stood by the stove in a black tank top with a rag draped over his shoulder with a concentrated look on his face as he grabbed the handle of the pan, tilting it to scoop up the melted butter and oil mixture with a spoon to drench the meat with practiced ease.
You were sat upon the counter with one leg propped up as you leaned your chin on your knee, scrolling through your phone. You slightly chuckled at some funny videos on your feed, calling San's attention to show him. Everything seemed completely normal, nothing out of the ordinary.
San lived for these peaceful moments with you. He went back to focusing on his cooking but from the corner of his eye he saw his phone lighting up, slightly moving from the vibration. He glanced at the screen, expecting it to be a coworker calling to cover their shift but he felt his body go cold when he saw the number flashing across the screen.
Lee.
He felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand up. Five years. It's been five years since he last spoke to him—since he last saw him. He felt a ringing coming into his ears. "Babe?" You looked up from your phone when you noticed his sudden stillness, "Everything okay?"
The ringing fades as he clears his throat. "Yeah, baby." He lies as he forced a quick smile, turning off the stove. He grabbed the phone and turned to you, giving you a kiss which causes you to smile. "It's just one of the guys from work. I'll be back." He smiles at you as he heads to the bedroom, "Can you set up the table, please?"
You playfully groan as you hopped of the counter. "I have to do everything myself." You sarcastically say as you opened the cabinet and grabbed two plates. "Of course I can." You smirked at him.
"Thank you for your sacrifice." He winks at you. His expression turns serious as he turns around and picks up the pace, stepping into the bedroom. He gently shuts the door and looks down to his phone, seeing that Lee is calling again. He gulps as he picks up, raising the phone to his ear. "Lee?" He whispers.
"San." The familiar deep voice makes a shiver run down San's spine as San gulps down the nerves. On the opposite side of the phone, Lee stood in-front of his ceiling to floor windows in his office, looking out into the night. "It's been a while."
San takes a few steps to the center of the room, eyes roaming around as his breath hitched. "Five years." His throat tightened. "Why-Why are you calling me?"
Lee lets out a sigh, looking down to the floor feeling remorse. "People are looking for you, San." He answers him. San eyes widened at his words, feeling the whole world stop. "They are looking for revenge."
A million thoughts were rushing in his head. He lets out a disbelief scoff as he walks to the bed and sits down, feeling his head spinning. "Revenge?" He whispered in wariness. "What do you mean? I don't understand." One moment he is cooking and wanting to have a nice dinner with you to the next, getting told people are out to kill him.
"San, the men I ordered you to kill—" He cuts himself off with a sigh as he closes his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows in regret. "Their people are looking for you. Someone tipped me off and San— it's serious. You need to disappear. Now."
San looks at the phone as if Lee would see his face of-are-you-insane. He shakes his head and lets out a scoff. "What? I can't just-"
"You don't have a choice, San." Lee interrupted him, raising his tone. "They are coming for you, do you understand what I'm saying?" Lee looks behind him, making sure no one in the room. "They will come for her." He whispered into the phone.
San head shoots up to the door and stares at it. Just on the other side you are setting up the table, oblivious to everything that is happening. He wants to fucking scream at the top of his lungs and punch the wall. "San," Lee's voice takes him out of his thoughts of these people hurting you. “This is something worst than anything we have ever dealt with. I'll be giving you two weeks to get everything sorted out. You know what you have to do.”
The line went dead.
San felt the world falling and crushing his soul. He dropped his arm, causing his phone to drop on the floor as he spaced out. This can't be happening, he thinks to himself. Everything he worked so hard for was just ripped from him in a heartbeat.
A knock on the door caused him to look up. "Is everything okay? What did work want?" You asked him as you walked to him, cupping his face to make him look up at you. "The table is set. Just waiting for the chef to serve the food." You smirked as you straddled him.
He smirks at you as he wraps his arms around your waist. "My apologizes, madam. We are a little backed up today. Can you forgive me?" He jokes with you. As he stares into your eyes, he feels everything falling around him knowing that he soon won't have these moments with you.
"Yes, I forgive you." You kissed his lips, chuckling lightly. You caressed his head as you looked into his eyes, "All good with work?" You asked once more.
He nods. "Yeah. It was just my boss calling to see if I can pick some extra shifts. Some of my coworkers have called out so I'm the only option."
You pouted as you slouched a bit. "I'm sorry. I know how much it frustrates you when you have to take more shifts." You peck his lips. He wished that was the actual reason.
He shakes his head. "It's okay." He smiles. He then stands up with you still in his hold causing you to wrap your legs around him. "I'm starving. I heard the chef was super handsome and an excellent cook."
You giggled. "Must've heard the opposite." You teased him. He gives you a deadpan look as he stopped in his steps. "Remind me why I'm feeding you?" He askes you with a glare. You then placed a loving kiss on his cheek. Now, he remembers why.
Later that night, you two were in bed. You had long fallen asleep all cuddled up on his chest as San stares into the ceiling. He turns to the side and looks down at your face, taking in your light snores as he gently places a kiss on your forehead. He knows what he has to do.
—
DURING THE FIVE YEARS
The following day, San entered his job with his hands tucked into his front pockets as he gave a small smile and nod to his passing coworkers as he headed to his boss's office. The scent of rubber and motor oil entered his nostrils as he knocked on the door.
A muffled come in was heard and San let out a breath as he twisted the knob, entering the office. His boss looked up from the paper work in his hand and gives him a smile as he takes off his glasses, "San!" He beamed as he stood up. "How are you, son? You don't work today, right?"
San closes the door, the sounds of the shop fades away. He gives him a sad smile, hands behind his back as he stands up straight. "I just, um," San clears his throat. "I need to talk to you."
His boss nods as he gestures to the chair in-front of his desk, "Of course. Please, sit and tell me." His boss tells him, scooting in his own chair and intertwining his hands.
He watched as San sits down and looks at him, firmly saying, “I’m quitting.”
His boss shakes his head both taken aback and sadden at the news. "What? Why? Did someone say something to you? Did something happen?" He bombarded him with questions, feeling whiplashed.
San stays quiet, contemplating if he should tell him or not. “I have to go somewhere for a while and I have a favor to ask of you.“ his voice was low. His boss nods, listening intently, "People are going to come in here and ask of me, you will tell them that you do not know who I am. If Y/N comes in, you will tell her the same thing. Understood?”
His boss was taken aback, nervously chuckling thinking it's a joke San is trying to pull. "You’re worrying me San,” he scratched the back of his head. But San remains serious causing his boss to lean forward, “You’re–You’re being serious? San, what is going on?”
San reached into his jacket, taking out an orange envelope and placed it in-front of his boss. His boss looks unsure until San nods at him causing him to hesitatingly pick up the envelope, opening it and widens his eyes at the stack of cash.
He looks between the cash and San’s serious expression with widen eyes. “That is for your troubles.” San said to him.
“Just promise me that you will do what I ask of you. Especially for Y/N. Remove me from photos, throw anything of mine away—nothing must stay. Please tell this to the rest of the guys.” San tells him.
His boss slowly nods in shock as he watches San stand up and walk to the door. He drops the money and quickly gets in front of him, holding onto his arms, “San, are you in trouble? Are you going to be okay?” His boss asked him.
“I will be okay, but for everyone’s safety it’s best if no one knows. Forgive me for putting you through all of this.” He gives him a sad smile and opens the door but looks back at his boss one last time, “I know you won’t understand but thank you. Thank you for being a great boss and for giving me a sense of normalcy.”
And with that San heads out the door ignoring his boss calling out to him. His boss sighs in defeat as he watched him disappeared. He truly admired him like a son of his own so this good bye pains him.
He cleaned his throat as he claps his hands getting everyone’s attention. “Everyone, team meeting! Gather around.” He wants to help San but knows that he can’t so he will do his part here until San returns.
—
Every night that lead up to the finale night with you killed him inside. It was hard to him to keep his composure when he was around you. When it was time, he just wanted to run away with you and live the life he envisions with you—but no, not yet. Just once more he has to go back to who he was and pray you will forgive him when he comes back.
As he walked down the apartments hallway, he just shook his head of his emotions. And just like that, he was back into the killer he was. He gently closed the apartment door, sighing heavy as he stood there for a moment. His hand runs down the door as he mentally says goodbye to everything he had.
He then heads downstairs, pushing the complex’s front doors revealing Lee. He stood outside the sleek black car while to of his men stood beside him. He slowly approached him, both of them not uttering a single word before Lee broke the tension and pulled him into a hug.
“San,” he whispered into his ear. San slowly wrap his arms around him and pats his back, still silent. “I’m so sorry.” Lee tells him and released the embrace, holding on his arms, “Come on. Let’s talk.” He nods to the car.
San watched as one of his men opened the door for him but took one last glance at the apartment window. I’m so sorry, he thought to himself. He sighed and headed inside the car.
—
During the drive, San looked out the window and watched the city he knew fade as they drove further away. Lee snaps his fingers which prompted the man in the passenger seat to give him a stack of folders. “San.” Lee calls to him.
When San sees the amount of folders, it’s takes all within him to not stomp like a child. He sneakily rolls his eyes as he grabs the folders from his hands. "These are all the people who are looking for you." Lee says. "Names, locations—everything you need to know is all in there."
Familiar words that put him here in the first place.
San’s stomach churned as he flips through the pages. These people weren’t just any petty criminals—no, these were some next level powerful criminals disguised as people in power. “You aren’t alone in this. We will get through this.” Lee reassured San as he lights up a cigar.
San just ignored Lee, not really wanting to talk about this right now. He clenched his jaw, “I need a favor,” he tells Lee who raised an eyebrow at him. “I need you to clear off my name in the system. No records, no loose ends—I need to disappear completely."
Lee studied him for a moment before nodding. “Consider it done.”
—
San didn’t get a wink of sleep, seeing the room slowly get brightened up by the sun through the small window. Lee had put him in a safe house in an abandoned corner of the city. As the light peers in, his heart crushes at the thought that it’s morning and you are about to find out.
He took advantage of the night and plastered the photos of his targets all over the walls. Their faces were lined up next to one another with their profile and description of crimes scribbled on them with red ink as sticky tabs surrounded them. The table was in a chaos of folders, maps that had markings of last known locations, more photos, hide outs, and extra information on sticky notes.
Meanwhile San was on the floor, shirtless as the sweat on his body glistened as his chest heavies while doing push ups. He lets out groans and grunts in sharp breaths, ignoring the burning sensation in his muscles.
“You reach out to her, you put her in danger.” Lee’s voice popped up in his head when he thought about you. His arms trembling from exhaustion, but he didn’t care—he had to get stronger for you. The haunting of Lee’s words pushed him harder.
Feeling as if it wasn’t enough, he stands up and wasted no time in jumping up to grip the bar that was bolted to the ceiling. He controlled his breathing as he did his pulls ups, staring directly to his first targets eyes.
Once he was satisfied, he walked to the worn out punching bag that was hung in the corner. He closed his eyes as he rolled his shoulders, opening them as he went straight into punching the bag. With each punch, he pictured the lowlife’s face giving quick and brutal combinations.
The bag jerked around with every hit that released all the anger and frustration as he screamed out loud. The hits become harder and faster—his skin all raw and broken around the knuckles. Sweat flying everywhere, some from his brow dripping down to his chest.
Lee’s voice came back to him, sharper now. “She’ll be dragged into this if you’re not careful.” San froze for a second, his fist resting against the bag, his breath heavy. He could see you so clearly in his mind, your smile and laughter when you tilt your head back.
He then pictured someone taking that away from him which just caused him to punch the bag with all his force, causing the bag to split open as the sand poured out like waterfall to the floor.
He stood over it as he watched it fall out, chest heaving. No. He can’t let himself think of that, he can’t fall into that weakness. He wipes his face with his forearm as he turned around and sat on the chair next to the table.
He leaned back as he hissed in pain when he tried closing his hands. He looks down and saw how bloody and irritated his knuckles were. He groans as he throws his head back and tries catching his breath.
After a moment, he controls his breathing and turns his head to the table then to the wall. He sits up and darkened his dark eyes to his first target—his expression hard as stone. He’s going to kill them all, every single one of them.
—
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and months turned into years since he began—since he last saw you. Little by little he’s completing his job but he can’t help but to feel so fucking upset at how long it has taken. But no matter how exhausted he is, you were his motivation to keep going.
There are countless nights when he lies in bed and skims through his photo gallery. He misses the way your smile reached your eyes, he missed the playful banter you two had with one another, misses your habits—everything. He would sad smile at the photos you were pissed off with him making a goofy smile because he most likely did something to annoy you.
Throughout the years, he would try convincing himself that you were okay. But when he went to check your socials, you were no where to be found. You were gone. Every account deactivated, every trace of you wiped clean from the digital world. It was like you’d vanished.
It killed him inside but he was feeling selfish because he did this to you but far worst. He spent days fighting the urge to just go and see you and when he found the courage, Lee would pop into his head.
But today, he cannot hold himself back. Fuck Lee right now. He drove with anxiety coursing in his body. He wondered how you are? Are you dating? Do you have a boyfriend? He gripped the steering wheel at the thought of you with another man. Are you happy? Are you still working at the same place?
But honestly, nothing could prepare him for what was to come of you. He sees you walking out of your job and you just looked absolutely miserable. The light in your eyes, gone. The smile he adored, nonexistent. You looked so broken and exhausted—his heart felt like it was ripped out and stabbed as he felt tears coming in. It was all his fault.
He turns off the car and heads out, tears streaming as he shoves through people saying sorry as he looks at your walking figure. Just when he is about to reach out, he freezes in his steps. He can’t. The people engulf around him as he watches you walk further. You sensed someone looking at you and turned around but no one. Meanwhile San hide behind a building, catching his breath as he slides down the wall crying.
He just wanted to run up to you and hold you and explain everything to you. Since that day, he always kept an eye on you. There were days when you all cooped up in the apartment with curtains closed or stayed at work until closing.
Whenever he would see you coming out the complex, he had to do everything to calm down. His heart would twist painfully when he saw the emptiness in the way you moved—just going through the motions of life and every time he would hate himself more and more.
—
One afternoon, when he went to go see you he felt the world stopping around him. The sight of a moving truck parked outside makes his stomach drop. His mouth parted when he saw you coming out the building, using your back to open the door as you held a box in your hands.
You were leaving.
He feels like he’s losing you all over again. He watches as you hand the box to the mover with a tight smile and head back inside. He soon remembers when you two moved in now fading into this memory—something beautiful to something broken.
He can’t help it but to stay. Once you were done, he watched you hand the key to the building representative—the same one who welcomed you both the first day—and hugged her. When the truck pulls out, he stays behind them in a safe distance.
San slapped his hand on the steering wheel as he starts crying. All he wanted—dreamt of— was a normal life with you and now everything is being taken away from him again. He can’t stop himself—he can’t let you go not when you are slipping further and further from him.
When you arrived to your new building, he looks as you unpacked the truck. In that moment he decided that he will leave you alone and come back stronger and better for you. He will complete this for you.
—
It had a been a whole year since he last saw you. He was determined to finish this already. Just one more and that was it.
It was nighttime and San was in a deep sleep in bed—until he felt his phone vibrate underneath his pillow causing him to stir to the side and go back to sleep. But then the person called again causing him to groan as he turns around and grab his phone.
He squints and looks away, the brightness burning his eyes. He then blinks a few times and looks at the screen again, seeing that Lee was calling him.
He sighs as he falls back on his back, placing his free arm over his eyes as he picks up the phone, “Hell–“
“They know about her.” Lee cuts off San, panting. On the other side, Lee was rushing to his office as he pointed to his men where to go and what to do. San sat up as he processed his words, his voice caught in his throat. “San,” Lee stops in his tracks, “they will kill her.”
San stayed quiet, his eyes roaming around in the darkness. They found you. They know of you. It’s only a matter of time before they get you. San felt so overwhelmed in his emotions—everything he tried to suppress just dissolved into raw, unrelenting anger that he didn’t know to react.
He just went blank.
“San? Are you ther–“ he hangs up the phone causing Lee to let out a scream of frustration as he calls him again but it went straight to voicemail. San removed his blanket, adrenaline shooting in his veins as he storms to the back of the safe house.
His breathing was starting to get uneven as he grabbed a sledgehammer that was leaning against the wall. And with one heavy swing, he shattered the concrete floor—fragments fly out with each stroke that got harder and angrier than the previous one.
Soon enough, a hidden compartment was revealed. He kneeled on the floor, removing the rubble with his hand as he puts in a code to which the box unlocks revealing a variety of weapons—firearms, knives, ammunition.
His fingers traced over the weapons with precision as he selected the ones he needed. He walked back and forth as he gently placed each weapon on the floor on top of a rag in the center of the room.
He throughly cleaned each gun and ensured each were working in order. He moved with swiftness as he tested the mechanics—sharpening the knives, moving them in his hand to make sure they are comfortable in his grip. He loaded the magazines with ease, wanting to make sure everything was perfect for tonight.
This was the most terrifying state San has been. His mind was blank, no expression on his face, emotions were just gone. All he can focus on was one singular thing—every one of them must die. He wasn’t going to wait any longer, he will take them by surprise tonight.
Once everything was prepared, he got dressed in all black, adjusting the straps of his tactical gear, checking each weapon holstered at his side. He sling the bag that carried the guns and started to leave but not before he spotted an extra knife on the table.
He grabs it and looks up at the photo of the man who he was going to kill tonight. In one swift throw, aiming it between the eyes, it landed right where he wanted it. He was out for blood.
—
San had stormed into the abandoned factory that served as their hideout. Under the cover of the night he moved like a ghost through the shadows. He was like a predator who was silent and deadly with nothing to lose. The dagger in his hand gleamed in the dim light as he gripped it tightly, his gun holstered on his hip.
The first man never saw it coming—San approached him from behind, quickly covering the man’s mouth he jabbed the knife into his throat. He slowly and gently laid the body down without any noise, removing the knife as moved to his next location with precision with sharp eyes scanning every corner.
San hid as he counted the amount of men standing around. But soon enough he heard the commotion of voices yelling that someone intruded the warehouse which made the standing men on guard as they looked around, spotting San. “Over there!”
Gunfire erupted as they all pointed in the direction of San, but he didn’t flinch at the sounds instead he returned the fire with accuracy—watching the bodies drop one by one. His adrenaline was so high he didn’t even feel the bullet that grazed his arm.
Finally, one man left and unfortunately for him, he was all out of bullets. But fortunate for San as he grabs him and pins him against the wall, the man quickly surrendering as he lifts his trembling hands in fear. “Where is he?” San growled at the man with a gun to his forehead.
The just let out incoherent whimpers in fear as he shook his head. San didn’t have time to deal with this so he just knocked the guy out with the end of the gun and let him drop to the floor as he moved on. The further he moved in the building, the more the bodies piled up. Not once did he hesitate nor falter in his actions.
San was blinded by anger—he saw red in everything. With every face, San raised his weapon against it. It wasn’t until every single one of the men were either knocked out or dead. Finally, he reached the main office at the end of a hall to which he kicked open the door with such force that it almost came off its hinges.
Inside, cowering behind the desk, was the leader of the operation-His last target. He yelled in fright at the sound of the door slamming against the wall. He peaks over the table and lets out a shaky breath as he slowly stands up, raising his hands in surrender.
San slowly steps inside, eyes trained on the man, blood soaked into his clothes dripping on his hands as he grips the knife. The flickering bulb in the room made him appear even more terrifying, few cuts on his face-light casting shadows on his face with each movement towards the man.
The man lets out a nervous chuckle, hands still raised. "San," he gives him a nervous smile, “P-please,” the man stammered, his voice shaking. “We didn’t mean— I mean, I didn’t—”
He falls to his knees and bows as tears fall to the floor when San walks around the table and stands in front of him. The man looks up to san and collapsed his hands together, pleading to him. “P-please, San… I-I didn’t mean it! I never touched her! It—it was just leverage! Just words!”
San stayed silent as his sharp eyes bore into the crying man. He grabs his knife and slowly turns it in his hand making it catch the faint glint of the light. He crouches down to the man's level, lifting his chin up with the tip of the knife. “I spent the last five years making sure she was protected,” San spoke lowly, “Yet you still tried to make her part of your sick game. Thinking of her to begin with was your first mistake.”
San feels something within him come undone as he grabs a fistful of hair and aggressively forces the man up, causing him to scream out in pain and fear. San shoved him to the chair behind him and stabs the knife into his thigh, “You know what happens to men like you?” He whispered taunting him, leaning close to his face.
The man lets out a blood curdling scream, lips quivered as he stammered out, “I—please, I’ll leave the country! I’ll disappear! I’ll—”
San lets out a manic laugh as he stood up, "You'll disappear?" He mocked the man. "You're right. You will disappear and I will make sure of it." San said emotionless.
He slides out another knife from behind and stabs through the man's hand and wooden chair rest making him scream. “You think you can threaten her and walk away breathing?” San grabs the man by the side of his face and shoved his head to the side and repeatedly slams his head against the desk.
He lets him go and watched the man lean back in the chair catching his breath. San grabs him by the shirt and the man starts to sob out, “It wasn’t me! It—it was the others! I swear!”
San tilts his head to the side slightly, giving him a faint humorless smile. "The others are dead." His voice low, "All that is left is just you."
He lets him go and takes out his gun, "You know, you talk so much shit yet," San looks at him, "you're nothing but a coward. Threatening to harm the woman I love just to get to me? Pathetic." He spat out.
The man starts screaming out in agony and fright when he sees San preparing the gun and cocking it back—his scream echoed the empty halls. He circled around the man like a predator stalking its prey. “You don’t understand, please!” The man shouted as he gasped for air from the overwhelming pain he’s in. “I didn’t mean it! I was never going to hurt her or kill her! I promise you!”
"You think I give a fuck about what you meant?" He spat at him. “You wanted to hurt her,” San said, his tone dropping dangerously low. “And I’ll make sure no one will ever speaks of her name again.”
He extends his are out and the cold metal touched the forehead of the man, his finger resting lightly on trigger. The man widens his eyes, desperation flickers behind them a he shakes his head, “Please I–“
The sound of the gunshot resonated throughout the room and then—silence. San stumbles back in exhaustion and lets out a sigh of relief. He is free. He feels the weight coming off his shoulders. He can come home to you.
—
San staggers out the building, feeling his adrenaline leaving as he limps side to side. Holding onto his arm, feeling the pain of the graze and his body screaming in aching pain. His breaths were short and sharp as he tried keeping his vision clear.
The faint roaring of engines from the distance reached his ears making him look up. He squints at the bright headlights coming close. Soon black trucks speed to the scene, tires screeching as they come to a sudden stop, doors sliding open as men poured out the cars in suits and weapons attached to their bodies rushed past him and into the building.
San didn't even have to look to know who it was. He was just focused on making sure his legs don’t give up on him as his vision started blurring from exhaustion. A sleek black car skidded to a halt in front of him causing him to stop in steps. Lee then emerges out the car with a worried look on his face as he rushed to San.
“San!” Lee’s voice was sharp but softened as he reached him. Lee quickly removed his coat and draped it over San and without hesitation, pulled him into his embrace. Feeling safe now, San's legs give out, both of them sinking to the ground as Lee held him tightly. "It's over, son," Lee said softly in his ear, voice filled with relief that he was okay. "It's over."
San didn't respond immediately, his head resting against Lee's shoulder as he closed his eyes and let out a sigh through his shallow breaths, "It's over." San said hoarsely, a single tear fell down his cheek, cutting through the blood and slightly stinging the small cuts.
Everything was blur as San started to close his eyes of exhaustion. Lee's men shouting and rushing to secure the scene before the police came. Lee yelling for medical treatment for San and soon enough they draped his arms over their shoulders and helped him up and into the car.
Finally, he can go back to you.
—
HE RETURNS
It's been a week since everything has finally ended. San stands outside in his car, staring at what use to be his home for the past five years-the safe house. He nods, thinking to himself that it is time to go. He gets into car and drives off—leaving this part of his life for good.
The welcome sign of your city gets him both nervous and excited. He puts on the turning signal as he pulled into the parking lot of a small, cozy hotel and checks in. He places his bags down on the floor and unlocks the door, taking in the room. He breaths in and breaths out, happy to be back in somewhat of normalcy.
He grabs his bags and placed them on the small sofa near the window. He wasted no time in unpacking and making the room feel settled in. After he was done, he grabbed a white envelope and checks inside before tucking it in his jacket. There is something important he needs to take care of.
—
The bells chimed softly as San stepped inside the jewelry shop. He takes in the smell of of the shop as he scans the variety of cases that display beautiful shimmering gems and jewels of every color you can imagine.
"May I help you, sir?" A sweet lady comes up to him with a warm smile and hands behind her back.
San takes off his glasses and looks at her, returning a smile. "Yes," he cleared his throat. Despite the nerve wrecking feeling in his chest, her grandmotherly presence help put him at ease a bit. "I'm looking for an engagement ring. But it needs to be elegant, unique, or—no—special. Something special." His voice softened as he rambled a bit, scratching the back of his head.
The woman covered her lips with her hand as she chuckled lightly. "No need to worry," Her eyes twinkled with understand as he reassured him. She beckoned him to follow her to a display case, "Come. Let's see what we can find for you."
_
It must've been hours at this point and San has never been more confused over raindrop shape or pear shape, square or cushion. It felt like smoke was coming out of his ears, feeling stressed over wanting to get the perfect ring for you as the woman carefully laid out a selection of rings, explains the cuts, the settings, and the stones.
But throughout this whole process, his eyes kept drifting to a particular ring—a large square shape with two small ones on each side with a platinum band with smaller diamonds that twinkled like stars on it.
"That one." he said pointing to it. "That's the one for her." He felt the ring calling to him.
The woman's eyes followed his finger and smiled when she spotted the one he was talking about. She smiled as she went to unlock the case and grabbed the ring, placing it in front of him. “This is our timeless, exquisite piece. Made and crafted for someone special.”
He grabs the ring and brings it up the light. He loves the way it gleams like your eyes. This is the one for you. "She is. She's... my everything." He tells her as he placed the ring back down.
The woman reaches over and patted his arm gently, “She’ll love it.” Her expression softened.
_
"Good luck, my dear." She cleaned the ring and placed it securely into the velvet box with gloves. "I can tell she's going to say yes." She said as she hands it to him.
He places his sunglasses back on and pockets the velvet box, giving her a smile. "Thank you." He slides her a while envelope, "This is for you by the way." He tells her.
"Oh?" She tilts her head to the side slightly. She looks down and opens it, eyes widening at the amount of money inside, "Sir, I–" She stops in her words when she scans the room, but he is nowhere to be found.
—
It was a few days later and San stood in the distance as he blend in with the parents who were waiting for the school's dismissal. Soon enough the bell echoed throughout the school as kids bursted out with squeals of excitement and parents calling out their kid's name.
San immediately spots you as you opened your classroom door with a bright smile—the same one that captivate him years ago. He watched as you knelt down slightly as you said goodbye to each child with a smile and high five, some with hugs. He couldn't help but to also smile as he saw you in your element, watching you wave to a little girl who ran off giggling.
Your laugh was a melodic sound that he has missed for so long. Slowly the crowd starts to disperse, but he stays rooted in his spot. Finally, after some time, you step out of your classroom, locking it up. He felt time stopping as he watched you let down your hair, running a hand through it as you walked. His breath hitched—you're so beautiful.
It’s like the first day he saw you all over again causing him to be all lovestruck but then—your movements stilled as your eyes narrowed at him direction. He felt his pulse quickening when he saw that you had noticed him.
If it wasn't from the blinding sun and the silver fence that wrapped around the school that was obscuring your view, it would've been game over. His mind was screaming at him to run, to which he did as panic took over him. He got into his car and slammed the door shut, hands on the steering well and he exhaled sharply. “Fuck, that was close.”
—
He knows he shouldn't be doing this, but he can't help it. Although, his job is completed, he can't help but to still act in secret. He sneaked into your apartment, wanting to waste no more time and to confess everything to you. His movements were quiet and calculated as he slipped inside, gently closing the door, hearing a soft click.
The moonlight casted into the dark living room, illuminating some spots. Everything he saw was a reflection of you and it made his chest ache. He lifts his head when he hears the sound of water running—she must be showering.
He lets out a slow breath and moved deeper around the apartment with cautious steps. As he turned towards the kitchen, his foot ended up being caught at the corner of the rug making him stumble slightly causing the floor to creak underneath him. He froze, noticing that the shower had stopped.
He then moves to the kitchen, floor creaking with another step causing him to freeze again. His breath hitched in throat as the silence fills up the air. He can hear his heart thudding in his ears when the door of the bathroom creaks open, seeing the light shining in the hallway.
He then heard the faint sounds of your footsteps slowly walking down the hallway. His heart sinks when he sees the gun in your hands—lightly trembling as you stopped in the middle of the entrance.
He watches as your hands move frantically with every shadow you think you see in the room. He feels heartbroken knowing that he is the reason you have a gun—the reason you are like this-he just wants to explain everything to you and hopes that you understand why he did all that he did.
He slowly takes a step back causing the floor to creak once more. He mentally cursed at himself when he saw you pointing the gun to the kitchen, voice full of anger. “Show yourself.”
Slowly, he emerged from the shadows with his hands up. He felt nervous and terrified of the outcome. The way your voice slightly trembled when you asked him who he was, broke him. He closed his eyes and exhaled light, taking one step forward.
“S-San?”
THE END
#ateez reactions#ateez#ateez scenarios#ateez san#ateez choi san#san choi#choi san#san imagines#ateez x reader#san ateez#san x reader#ateez masterlist#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines
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His father always said that he thought with his heart, never his brain. The night of December 31st, 2024 was no different.
"Yeah, I'm walking fast as fuck because I'm pissed as fuck! Damn!" Noah snaps at his phone, looking at the screen like the commenter is stupid. Noah adjusted his airpods, shaking his head with a huff.
"I'm frustrated. Like, I'm mad frustrated right now. So frustrated I can't even speak Korean, like, someone is going to have to translate this--Don't translate this because the last thing I need right now is K-Sirens on my ass, holy shit." He keeps walking, not sure where he's going, but Busan's streets seem empty at this hour. It's nearly two in the morning, of course, they're empty.
It's a Wednesday.
Noah reads twenty of the same comments, asking the same question of what happened, nodding at his phone with pursed lips.
"I'll tell you what happened-Let me tell you, my shit got stolen. Again. Again!" He shouts the last word before taking a breath to try to collect himself. Arguably, he doesn't try hard. He's always found comfort in rage, treating yelling or raising his voice like a warm blanket. He's talking fast, words spewing out of him quicker than he thinks them— If he even thinks them. He swears he's on autopilot right now, shouting at his phone for thousands to see.
"Somebody Else, yes the song on Finn's album, is my beat. I made that fucking beat and I wasn't credited for it just like I made The Rizz–Wrote that shit too! Produced, composed, and wrote it. That was my fucking song through and through and I was never credited for it. He just took it and he did again! I'm so fucking mad like-" His eyes widen as he looks at the camera again, bewildered at these circumstances. Noah can't help but scoff and shrug his broad shoulders. He's still walking. The street lamps whizz above him at the speed he's going.
Noah scoffs, shaking his head and making his hair fall in his eyes. He stops walking abruptly to put a flat palm up to the camera to silently tell the viewers to shut up.
"Finn literally is not stupid. He is not dumb. He can play a dumb bitch boy for the camera all he wants, but he's not stupid and knew those songs were my songs," Noah rants, pointing to himself. Puffs of cold air are seen as he rants.
"Because I'm tired," Noah barks back, tossing a threatening finger at the camera, "I'm tired of his bullshit. He's a snake, and everyone loves him because he's 'cute' and 'precious'. Yeah, precious at stealing my work!"
Noah stops suddenly, eyes wide as he bends over to catch his breath. The night air cuts through his thin jacket, chilling him to the bone. But he doesn't stop, can't stop, because rage is fueling him more than any caffeine could. He straightens up again, pointing an accusing finger at the camera.
He doesn’t say anything with that, just pointing a finger at the camera with a scowl before walking again. His boots crunched against the frozen sidewalk.
He halts abruptly once more, raking a hand through his hair as he struggles to stay in control of his emotions.
Noah's face contorts in anger at the mention of his father, but he quickly composes himself. "My dad," he says with a sharp edge to his voice, "is not just some billionaire CEO. He's my dad, and I love him. So shut the fuck up." His words ring out, cutting through the streets with raw emotion, making him look over his shoulder before his head snaps back towards the camera.
He glances back at the camera, eyes flashing dangerously under the lamplight. "And F-Y-I, @LOOP4CHLOE," he goes on, pointing a preemptive finger at the screen, "I've never done coke in my life unlike some of your faves so keep my name out of your fuckin’ mouth."
His pace quickens again, driven by pure adrenaline and anger. His breath comes in short puffs, fogging up the camera lens momentarily as it struggles to keep focus.
Noah snorts a laugh at that one, an incredulous smile tugging at his lips. "Focus on my music? That's all I fucking do! Every beat you hear, every lyric you sing along - that's me! That's all me!" He punches his chest for emphasis.
Suddenly he stops again and looks straight into the camera, his gaze piercing the lens. "You know what?" he begins ominously, "Finn can have it all - fame, money, fans... whatever!"
He shrugs dramatically, kicking at a discarded soda can, sending it skittering across the icy pavement. "He can have all the awards too," he continues, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "I mean, he already has my Grammy... right?"
Another ding from his phone makes him pause mid-rant. He glances down at the screen, brows furrowing as he reads aloud.
Noah's shoulders slump as he reads the comment, his anger dissipating just a fraction. "Yeah," he says softly, his voice sounding small compared to the loud rant from before. "Me too."
But the moment of vulnerability doesn't last long. He huffs out an irritated laugh, shaking his head as he looks back at the camera.
"You know what though?" He says, a smirk creeping onto his face. "Even with my beats and my lyrics, Finn's still shit. His voice isn't worth shit, and he knows it. That's why he keeps stealing my stuff, 'cause he knows he can't make it on his own."
He snorts again, that bitter laugh bursting from him as he walks down the deserted streets of Busan. "Yeah," he agrees, almost sarcastically. "I deserve better. But life isn't fair now is it?"
His phone rings then, pulling him out of his rant. He glances at the caller ID and swipes the screen to reject the call without a second thought.
"Fuck off Finn," he mutters under his breath, eyes narrowing at the screen before looking back up at the camera. "Anyway," he continues with a dramatic wave of his hand, "I'm done talking about that bitch."
He stops abruptly, turning to face the camera with an eerily calm expression on his face.
#˗ ˋ 🌊 dive deeper ﹕ chapters !#kpop oc#kpop addition#fictional idol community#idol oc#kpop au#oc kpop group#fictional idol oc#bts addition#idolverse
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UNFOLD (I)
word count: 2.0k
main characters: cameron brink, hailey van lith
⚠️warnings⚠️
swearing
summary:
cam’s guide to making friends at the fiba U17 world cup (don’t do as she does, though)
hailey’s guide to getting a best friend at the fiba U17 world cup and then helping said friend make other friends
obligatory background pazzi
Cameron Brink is sixteen years old, and it’s nothing like she thought it was going to be. Six years ago, if you’d told her that at she’d be staring at her name on the finalized list of players on a FIBA Basketball World Cup team, she knows she would’ve wrinkled her nose in disgust and gone off to draw or paint. But as she allows a small smile to cross her face as a deep feeling of relief floods her body, she can’t help but look outward.
All around her, the other girls (her future teammates, she thinks nervously) chatter and push each other around in excitement while she stays rooted to the spot, hands fisting the bottom of her shirt in an attempt to not take up too much space. She’s made her choice; this is going to be her life now, so she had better learn to love everything about it. It’s not a sobering realization exactly, just something that she can’t help but see as another hurdle in her journey to feeling like she truly belongs somewhere.
Cam has participated in enough conversations over the past few days to know that everyone else here has lived and breathed basketball practically from the womb, and it only intensifies the disconnect she feels from the rest of the group. She knows she’s good enough to be here, she just hasn’t figured out how to match the assurance and swagger of her teammates that already have the sport running through their veins.
She takes a deep breath, looking more closely at her surroundings. Azzi was one of the more quiet girls, but she’d been nice all week… maybe she’d be good to talk to? Cam takes all of one step in her direction before she sees another blonde practically catapult herself onto the youngest member of the team, freezing her in her tracks. Cam instantly recognizes Paige, the #1 ranked player in their class, and shakes her head. No way she’s getting in the middle of whatever is building between the two of them.
A persistent tapping on her lower back nearly makes Cam jump as she tears her eyes away from the two guards in front of her. She whips around to see Hailey jerking back to avoid getting hit by her braid. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry,” she says quickly.
Hailey shrugs. “No worries. Can you move real quick, though? All the posts are crowding the list and I can’t even see if my name is on it.” Her tone is casual, but it’s hard to miss her furrowed brows and clenched jaw as she tried to see around the taller girl.
Cam feels her cheeks heating up as she scrambles out of the way. “My bad, um, your name is on there-” she slaps her hand over mouth, realizing that the shorter girl may have wanted to read it herself, “-fuck, I should’ve just let you see, I’m so, so sorry!”
She trails off again when she sees the huge grin on Hailey’s face. The normally serious girl has gone completely still as she beams up at Cam. “What the fuck are you apologizing for? This is the best day of my fucking life!” She shrieks, grabbing both of Cam’s hands and beginning to jump around as her energy returns.
Slightly self-conscious (and wary of her ponytail), Cam hesitates for a moment before joining in. Looking around once again, she accidentally makes eye contact with Fran and is quick to avert her eyes at the slight smirk from the older girl. A Drake song starts blasting from the gym speakers, and as Cam lets Hailey dance around with her, she thinks that maybe she fits in just a little bit.
• • • • •
The Brinks might have been more excited than their daughter, who they needed no encouragement from to start booking flights and hotels so they could watch the whole tournament in Belarus. Cam was grateful to have them there, but disappointed when she learned how strict the team travel policies were.
She knows that she’s probably too old to be wanting to sit next to her mom on the plane, but she misses the comforting presence as the plane speeds down the runway. Luckily, she’s sitting next to Azzi, someone who, in the short amount of time that they’ve known each other, has become something close to a friend. There are certainly worse places to be sitting.
“You good with planes?” The dark-haired girl asks abruptly. “Paige isn’t, she was telling me on FaceTime last night.”
“Yeah, I’ll be ok,” Cam is quick to assure her. “I’m not gonna, like, throw up on you or anything.”
“Mm,” Azzi responds absently, attention clearly elsewhere. Cam follows her line of sight, not surprised when it leads to Paige.
“You really like her, huh?” Cam can’t miss the soft look in Azzi’s eyes.
The guard blinks, carefully smoothing her features. Seeing Cam’s genuine smile, she relaxes a bit. “Yeah, I really do.”
“Well, I hope you get married someday.”
“Married?” Azzi says incredulously. “That’s not even- slow down, we’re just friends.”
Cam raises her hands in surrender. “Whatever you say. I just hope it all works out, really.”
Azzi shakes her head in mock annoyance. “You’re so weird.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Cam knows Azzi didn’t mean anything by it, but it still stings. Not knowing what else to say, they lapse into silence.
Azzi must notice the shift in Cam’s demeanour because she extends an olive branch in the form of a question about the older girl’s mom. The two of them discover that they have more in common than they thought. In between hours of sleep, they’re able to keep up a light flow of conversation about their families, dogs, and mutual love of romance novels.
They’re both soundly asleep when Cam is awoken by repeated tapping on her shoulder. Her eyes fly open and she’s struck with a sense of deja vu when she’s greeted by Hailey’s face uncomfortably close to her own. Slightly unsettled, she instinctively presses her back farther into her seat.
“Finally! I was gonna do something drastic if that took any longer,” Hailey whispers impatiently.
Ignoring her, Cam glances out the window. Sure enough, it’s still pitch black. Rubbing her eyes, she realizes that Hailey has Paige in tow. The two guards are standing awkwardly in the aisle, struggling to keep a low profile.
“What was so urgent that you just had to wake me up at-” Cam checks her phone, “-four in the morning?”
Hailey shrugs. “We have important things to discuss. Oh, and that one-” she jerks her thumb at Paige standing behind her, “-wanted to sit with her girlfriend or whatever.”
“I did not!” Paige exclaims.
“So you didn’t wanna sit with her, then?” Hailey fires back.
Paige throws up her hands in defeat. “Ok, I did, but she’s not my girlfr- you know what, never mind.”
“That’s what I thought,” Hailey turns back to Cam. “Anyway, the whole point of this was getting you to come sit with me.” She extends a hand to the taller girl. “Cmon, I promise we’ll have fun.”
Still a little disoriented, Cam grabs a few things and manages to avoid banging her head on the ceiling as she stands. All the noise and shuffling finally wakes Azzi, who unexpectedly grabs Cam’s arm and pulls her back down.
“What’s going on?” She mumbles sleepily, resting her head on Cam’s shoulder.
The taller girl is a little taken aback, but she hopes that this means Azzi might actually like her. “Honestly, I’m not really sure,” she whispers back. “Paige is here, though, and I think I’m gonna go with Hailey for a bit.”
Azzi perks up at the mention of Paige. “Have fun, I guess,” she yawns, already looking for her best friend.
“You too,” Cam can’t resist giving her a playful nudge before she stands up again. This time she does bang her head, cursing as she steps into the aisle.
“It’s still weird hearing you cuss,” Hailey remarks as she leads them to her seat.
“What? I do it all the time,” Cam whines.
“You’re just too… innocent, I guess? It just feels wrong to me.” Hailey finishes buckling her seat belt. She looks up at Cam with a smirk. “Watch your head!”
“Fuck off,” Cam mutters, smiling despite herself.
“Be nice, I left the aisle for your lanky ass. And by the way, still weird hearing you say it,” Hailey nods like she’s just confirmed a hypothesis.
“Are we not the same age? I thought Azzi was the only young one here.” Cam leans back in her seat, eyes already sliding closed.
“I’m a few months older, but that’s not even important,” Hailey tilts her head. “It’s all about the vibe, y’know?”
“I guess, but more importantly, why do you know when my birthday is? Did you stalk me or something?” The shorter girl’s unabashed nod makes Cam pause. “I’d have to imagine that’s a lot weirder than anything I do.”
“I guess we’re both weird, then,” Hailey concedes. “But I had a good reason, I promise.”
Cam raises an eyebrow. “And what was it?”
“Because you’re sexy,” Hailey deadpans, laughing maniacally when Cam turns bright red. “No, for real though, I just needed to find out more about my future best friend.”
“So we’re best friends now?”
“We will be for this tournament, at least.” Hailey says confidently. It’s a statement, an assurance, not a question, and Cam is suddenly jealous of how easily the words come out.
“I’d like that,” she admits, her voice a little quieter than before.
“And I’m gonna figure you out,” Hailey says almost to herself.
Cam laughs self-consciously. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Hailey says nonchalantly. She pulls out her AirPods and offers one to Cam. “We can listen to whatever you want.”
The younger girl’s hand stills abruptly. “If I take this, will you tell me what you meant?”
“Fineee,” Hailey drags out the word. “I just don’t get you. You talk to me fine — talk back to me, even — but I don’t think I’ve seen you have a real conversation with even three other people on this team.”
“That’s not true,” Cam protests.
“Who, then?”
“Well, there’s Azzi-“ Hailey rolls her eyes, “-and Paige, I guess? Maybe Hayley?” Cam lowers her gaze in defeat. She plucks the AirPod from Hailey’s outstretched hand. “Fine, I get it.”
“Hey, it’s okay, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Hailey makes sure her genuineness comes across. “Just, why me?”
Cam shrugs noncommittally. “It’s just hard sometimes, I guess? Plus, you won’t leave me alone- I don’t mind though,” she’s quick to add. “It’s a little easier with you, somehow.”
Hailey hums, seemingly satisfied with the answer. Wordlessly, she hands Cam her unlocked phone with all her downloaded songs.
They listen in silence for a while before Hailey taps Cam’s shoulder yet again. “Sorry, I can’t sleep,” she sighs. “Who knew that flights over ten hours would be so uncomfortable?”
“Me, actually. I lived in Amsterdam for three years and going back and forth was terrible,” Cam says shyly.
“Wait, are you serious? Tell me everything!” Hailey knows she probably sounds unreasonably excited, but she’s determined to learn everything that she can about Cam.
The taller girl recounts her favourite moments, and the conversation jumps from there, somehow getting to how Hailey got her seatmate (Hayley, the irony isn’t lost on either of them) to go sit with Paige’s seatmate (Fran) so that her and Paige could then end up next to Cam and Azzi respectively. She takes credit for remembering that Hayley and Fran are both committed to Stanford, and Cam giggles while giving her a round of applause.
When they both start to drift off, Cam lets Hailey settle on her shoulder, and it feels like the start of something. The younger girl doesn’t realize it, but since she and Hailey sat down, she hasn’t missed her parents at all.
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shy!reader paired with bf!chris
"not so shy anymore" by @chlotapcs 𝜗𝜚
an. sorry! this was rushed, i was on the verge of falling asleep and the idea was kinda spiraling in my head so i didn't exactly know what the fuck i was writing.
you were never a party girl, hanging inside with your boyfriend chris and if you did go out, it was too a beach to watch the sunset. but now. now you were somehow dressed up in a short dress and makeup covering your face, standing outside a house that was blasting music from inside. your hand in chris's as you squeeze it, an uneasy feeling filling your gut.
chris had somehow convinced you to go to a party with him, wanting to show you to the world outside of your tiny space. it took almost all day before you finally caved in, his soft eyes and pouty face winning you over.
"it'll be okay baby. i'll be right here, next to you, the whole time, 'k?" chris says as he turns to look at you, tilting his head as his hands move to your cheeks. you slowly move your body to look at him and sigh.
"yeah, lets get this over with." and with your words, chris was dragging you through the crowd, his hand in yours as he tries to find his friends. music was filling your ears, people bumping into you as they dance and scream their songs. it was already hot, feeling the damp temperature against your practically naked body.
chris finally finds his friends, squeezing your hand as if reassuring you that he was still there with you. you stumble next to him as he slows down and stops, patting one of his friends back. the group quickly dabs each other up and greets you, shaking your free hand. you give them a small smile, nodding at them before handing each you and chris a beer bottle. usually, you weren't the drinking type, but you could down one if needed. and now was needed. if you were going to last more than a few minutes in this party, you would need a drink. maybe a few drinks.
you take the drink out of his friends hand and quickly bring the bottle to your lips. you feel the liquid going down your throat, making you hum before taking the bottle away from your lips. you discreetly make a disgusted face but it doesn't pass by chris, him catching it almost instantly. he couldn't help but let out a small laugh, moving his hand to your lip and wiping away a small drop of the drink that was left on your lip.
"take it easy ma. i've got you." chris leans in close, murmuring in my ear over the loud music in the background. you turn to look at him and smile, leaning into his touch before patting his chest.
"i promise i'll go easy baby."
that was a few drinks ago. you went a little overboard with the trying to calm down your nerves. you had a few too many drinks, chris's friends handing you shot every once in a while. you have been playing beer pong with his friends, chris waiting in the line for the bathroom. you were doing good, cheering and laughing at things you wouldn't usually be laughing at.
you were currently leaning on a wall, waiting for your turn to play beery pong again until you feel hands on your waist. you, of course, think it's chris, feeling the hands squeeze your waist gently.
"hey there pretty girl." you hear a voice cut through the loud music and you suddenly realize, that wasn't chris. you look up, seeing a boy you've never seen in your life before.
"sorry. i'm taken." you say, feeling sober instantly as you try to get the boy's hands off of you. but he just pushes you closer to the wall, pinning you there. you face drops as your hands move to his wrist, trying harder to get him off. you could see him part his lips to say something else but then he's thrown off of you. your eyes widen, seeing the boy hit the ground hard.
you look up, expecting to see chris but you see one of his friends. your brows furrow before you feel him take your wrist, tugging you inside the house.
"come on, lets find chris." he says, keeping his grip on you tight so he wouldn't lose you. you stumble with him, the alcohol coming back to effect you as your vision blurs, trying to blink away the blurriness.
you follow his friend around until you feel your body come to a stop. you could barely make out who the figures in front of you were but when you feel hands on your cheeks, you knew it was Chris.
"hey ma? can you hear me?" chris asks, patting your cheek gently before you hear his friend mumbling something to him. you feel his grip tighten on you, like he heard something that got him upset.
"listen. i'm taking you home. you can be upset later but shes on the verge of passing out and she needs you. calm yourself." you hear his friend saying, ringing cutting through at times. you feel chris's hands move down your body, holding your waist as your feet begin to move again. your soon in feeling the cold air hitting you, chris picking you up and setting you in the back of the car. you lay yourself down in the backseat, letting out a hum as your eyes shut, falling into a deep sleep.
chris gets into the passenger seat, buckling up as he looks back at you, his eyes softer. but when he realizes you had passed out, he quickly looks back at his friend.
"what did he do to her?" chris asks, his voice stern. his friend quickly gets into the drivers seat, buckling up and starting the car.
"tried pinning her against the wall and that's it. I stopped him before anything else happened." his friends murmur, his eyes on the road as his hands grip his steering wheel. chris nods before looking back at you again. he had never seen you drunk and passed out like this before. his heart ached as he reached a hand back and rubs your waist.
"my sister says taking a warm bath with some bath bombs help her when shes hung over. or if she wakes up later tonight. i think she said lavender scent helps her the most?" his friend says, wanting to help you as much as he could. once he had met you, he thought of you like a little sister. he always took good care of you, making sure you were always safe whenever chris was off doing something else.
"got it. lavender bath bombs. thanks" chris nods, keeping his eyes on you as his hands move to your bare legs.
after a few minutes of driving, you were finally parked outside of your house. chris exits the car, his friend coming with him as he opens the back door. he carefully grabs you, cradling you with your head on his chest.
"need help with anything?" his friend asks, walking up next to chris, looking at the sleeping you in his arms.
"grab her shoes if you can?" chris nods towards my shoes on the ground, his friend quickly grabbing them as he closes the car door. he follows chris inside, setting your shoes down onto the floor next to all your other shoes and Chris turns around.
"thank you. i appreciate it." Chris tells his friend, giving him a genuine look on his face. his friend smiles and nods.
"anytime dude. I got you." he says before leaving the house, and closing the door. Chris lets out a breath before walking to their shared room, laying down your sleeping body on the bed. he kisses your forehead softly, moving the blanket over your body before walking to the bathroom. he quickly kneels down and goes under the sink, finding your bath bombs. he pulls out a lavender scented one and setting it down on the counter, knowing not to forget it.
once he's back into the room, he changes into some sweatpants and a wife beater, quickly getting into bed next to you. he gets under the covers, scooting next to you as he wraps his arms around your body, spooning you.
"i'll be here when you wake up mamas. I love you." Chris whispers in your ear before falling into a deep sleep next to you, knowing he would need it to take care of you tomorrow, knowing a headache and grumpy you would be here.
@mattspolitank @h3arts4harry @bernardsbendystraws @sophand4n4 @riversandwinds
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#fanfic#fluff#chlotapcs
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siren songs and stolen kisses, the bell tower
ssask masterlist main masterlist
author's note: guys im so sorry i havent updated since literally BEFORE CHRISTMAS but ive been locking in for school rn (sixth form is NOT for the weak) and the other day when i was gonna post my friends invited me to a party and i got super drunk and completely forgot🙂...BUT we're back now🥳💖🙏🗣️‼️
OH and i havent proofread this so im sorry for any mistakes or anything and also:
Y/I = your initials
𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔
The late afternoon sun cast long, golden shadows across the cluttered salvage yard, highlighting the rusted car parts and scattered tools that formed a chaotic maze. It wasn’t much, but it felt like a temporary refuge for the Pogues—a brief sanctuary in a world that seemed hell-bent on breaking us. I leaned against an old pickup truck, my arms crossed tightly over my chest, the cool metal grounding me. My eyes darted nervously between Pope, Kiara, and JJ. JJ’s blue eyes burned with a fire I knew all too well: a volatile mix of anger, frustration, and helplessness.
Above us, the faint drone of Ward’s plane sliced through the tense silence like a taunt, a constant reminder of everything slipping out of our grasp. Pope’s voice broke the heavy quiet first, tight and bitter. “There goes the gold,” he muttered, his gaze locked on the plane’s retreating silhouette.
JJ exploded instantly, his emotions boiling over. “Goddammit!” he roared, kicking a plastic chair with enough force to send it flying in pieces. It splintered against the gravel, the shards scattering like his temper. Pope wasn’t far behind, grabbing a crowbar from a nearby pile of tools. With a furious yell, he swung it into a stack of metal drums. The clang reverberated through the yard, each echo sharpening the tension around us. “Fuck!”
“Pope, stop!” Kiara shouted, her voice rising in alarm as she took a cautious step toward him. But he didn’t hear—or maybe he didn’t care. The crowbar came down again and again, each strike more furious than the last. JJ, Kiara, and I exchanged a worried glance. This wasn’t Pope—not the level-headed, focused friend we relied on. It was as if the pressure and frustration of everything had finally cracked something deep inside him.
Finally, Pope’s swings slowed, his energy drained. With a final clatter, the crowbar slipped from his hands, and he sank into a nearby chair, his chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath. JJ let out a low whistle, his eyebrows raised in a mix of surprise and concern. “Yeah, dude,” he said, his tone lighter than the moment warranted. “That was… intense.”
Still breathing heavily, Pope stared down at his hands as if searching for answers in his palms. JJ reached into his pocket and pulled out his vape, holding it out casually. “Here you go, chief,” he offered, his smirk barely concealing the weight of the situation.
Pope hesitated, his hand hovering over the vape. “A little weed never hurt no one,” JJ added with a shrug, his tone dripping with nonchalance.
“JJ,” Kiara snapped, her sharp tone cutting through the moment.
“Relax, Kie,” JJ shot back, his irritation flaring.
She crossed her arms, her disapproval radiating. “You know he doesn’t smoke.”
To my surprise—and evidently Kiara’s as well—Pope took the vape. It wasn’t just an acceptance; it felt like a challenge, a way to push back against her judgment. JJ grinned, leaning back on the wreck of an old car, his expression triumphant. “Well, maybe not until today,” he quipped.
I moved closer, sitting beside Pope and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Kiara’s frown deepened, her concern clear as she tried to reason with him. “Pope,” she said judgementally, “Yeah, what’s that gonna help?”
Pope exhaled a shaky breath, the weight of everything pressing down on him. “I lost my scholarship Kiara,” he admitted, his voice breaking with defeat. “Walked out in the middle of the interview. Everything… it’s not gonna happen. It’s gone.”
My chest tightened at his words. I squeezed his shoulder gently, wishing I could somehow lift even a fraction of the burden he carried. Kiara’s face twisted in shock and disbelief. “You did that for us?” she asked, her voice trembling.
“No,” Pope replied, his tone resolute as he stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the gravel. His frustration bubbled over again, spilling into his next words. “Not for us. For nothing.”
JJ stepped up beside him, his expression calmer now, almost uncharacteristically so. “I’m here for you, Pope,” he said quietly, pressing the vape back into his friend’s hand. “Welcome to my world.”
“JJ—” Kiara started, her voice rising with protest, but I cut her off, unable to hold back my own frustration. “What, Kie? He’s right. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
A heavy silence fell over us, broken only by the distant cawing of seagulls. Pope raised the vape to his lips, inhaling lightly before exhaling a thin plume of smoke. Kiara shook her head, her eyes filled with quiet desperation. “You don’t have to do that,” she said.
Pope turned to her, his patience fraying. “Why do you care?” he snapped, his voice sharper than intended.
Before Kiara could respond, movement behind us caught my eye. “John B,” I said, my voice a mix of relief and alarm.
We all spun around to see him approach, his figure disheveled and unsteady. Blood streaked up his arms, smeared all the way to his wrists. My stomach dropped, dread washing over me like a tidal wave. We rushed toward him, our questions spilling out in a panicked tumble.
“Dude! Dude, you good?” JJ asked, concern softening his usual bravado.
“Oh my God, John B!” Kiara exclaimed, her hands hovering near him as if unsure whether to touch him.
“John B, are you okay? Where’s Sarah?” I asked, my voice rising with panic.
John B didn’t respond. His gaze was fixed on the ground, his expression distant and haunted. The sight of him like this sent my mind racing, each horrific possibility more unbearable than the last. Whose blood was it? Sarah’s? Rafe’s? Ward’s?
The sound of approaching sirens snapped us out of our collective worry. “Cops!” JJ hissed, his voice low but urgent. Without hesitation, he grabbed my waist and pulled me behind a stack of rusted metal, his grip firm and protective.
We crouched together, my back pressed against his chest as we waited for the sirens to pass. His breath was warm against my ear, steady despite the chaos around us. In that moment, amidst the tension and fear, I felt an unexpected sense of safety in his arms. When the sirens finally faded into the distance, JJ loosened his hold, though his hand lingered on my hip—a silent reassurance that he had me.
“We need a plan,” Kiara said, her voice shaky as she peeked out from our hiding spot. “This isn’t over.”
JJ glanced down at me, his usual smirk returning for a fleeting moment. “You okay, princess?” he asked softly, his tone carrying an unexpected gentleness.
I nodded, my cheeks flushing at the nickname. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Good,” he said, his voice low and steady.
𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔
As John B’s voice echoed through the Twinkie, the tension in the air was palpable. The urgency in his tone cut through everything, even the thick fog of confusion that still clouded my thoughts. Rafe had killed Peterkin. My brother. The same brother I used to confide in. I’d never been more shaken in my life, and as much as I wanted to confront him, to get answers, I knew I couldn’t right now. The truth needed to come out, but I was still struggling to process what that meant.
I sat next to JJ, trying to hold it together. He could sense I was barely keeping it together, though, and before long, he shifted closer to me. He didn’t say anything at first, just placed a hand on my knee, the warmth of his touch grounding me. His eyes, usually so full of mischievous energy, were soft now, full of something deeper, something tender.
“Hey, you good?” he asked quietly, his voice low, only for me to hear. The way he spoke my name made it feel like we were the only two people in the world right now, and for a brief moment, I wanted to believe it.
I managed a shaky nod, though the lump in my throat made it hard to speak. “Just… a lot to take in.”
JJ squeezed my hand, his thumb brushing over my skin, the comfort of his touch pulling me back from the edge of my panic. “I’m here, baby. I got you.”
His words, simple but powerful, gave me something to cling to. I leaned into him slightly, resting my head against his shoulder. He didn’t pull away; instead, he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer. His body was warm, a steady presence that seemed to push back the cold, chaotic storm swirling in my chest. The soft hum of the Twinkie’s engine and the rhythmic sound of the tires against the road were the only things that filled the silence now, but for some reason, with JJ beside me, it didn’t feel quite as suffocating.
“John B,” JJ called out suddenly, breaking the tension. “What are we doing at the police station?”
I glanced over at John B, watching as he hesitated, gripping the steering wheel with a tightness that made his knuckles white. I could tell he was wrestling with the decision, the weight of what they were about to do.
“Somebody’s gotta tell them what happened,” John B finally spoke, his voice rough, but determined.
Before anyone could respond, Pope let out a dramatic cough from the back seat, still trying to get the hang of JJ’s vape, the noise cutting through the otherwise quiet tension.
“Easy there, Chief,” JJ teased, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. It was clear he was trying to lighten the mood, and despite everything, I couldn’t help but laugh lightly, the sound escaping me despite my best efforts to keep it together.
John B’s hand clenched harder on the wheel as we pulled up closer to the police station. I could tell he was hesitating, the reality of what he was about to do weighing heavily on him. JJ leaned forward, his hand resting on John B’s shoulder, his voice steady.
“I’m gonna be real with you, man,” JJ started, his tone serious now. “You might end up in the lion’s den, but you do not go there on purpose. It’s fundamental. Just like my old man taught me…”
At the mention of his father, I rolled my eyes. JJ’s father was a man I had little respect for—abusive, manipulative, and dangerous. JJ had grown up in that environment, a fact that always seemed to haunt him.
“JJ,” I interrupted, my voice carrying the weight of my frustration, “your old man’s an abusive liar.”
Before JJ could respond, Pope cut in, his voice uncharacteristically firm. “I agree with JJ,” he said, surprising everyone in the car, myself included. “Screw the police.”
Kiara whipped around in her seat, her eyes wide with disbelief. “You goin’ to the dark side now?” she asked, clearly judgmental.
Pope didn’t flinch. “When’s the last time the police helped us?”
John B spoke next, his voice quiet, almost as if he were talking to himself. “Peterkin looked out for me, all right? Tried to, at least.”
There was a moment of silence as we all processed his words. Despite everything, there was a part of me that didn’t want to believe Rafe was capable of murder. I couldn’t fathom it. The brother I once knew couldn’t have done something so terrible. But the evidence was right there, and it had to be acknowledged.
I closed my eyes for a moment, a wave of dread washing over me, but JJ’s arm around my shoulders gave me something to focus on. He kissed the side of my head, a gentle gesture that somehow made everything feel a little more bearable, even if just for a moment.
“Let’s just get this over with,” I murmured, my voice thick with emotion.
As we approached the police station, Kiara’s voice cracked the silence again, this time filled with concern. “I have a bad feeling about this, guys,” she said, her eyes darting nervously around the car.
Pope, still working through the effects of the vape, muttered, “What don’t you have bad feelings about, Kiara?”
She gave him a pointed look, but before she could respond, my phone buzzed again. Rafe or Sarah—neither had responded to any of my texts. I couldn’t help but feel a gnawing sense of anxiety build up again as I checked my phone, hoping for some kind of message. Anything to give me clarity. Anything to give me peace of mind.
JJ, noticing my growing frustration, gently took the phone from my hands, stopping me before I could spiral further.
“It’ll work out, sweetheart,” he said softly, his voice reassuring.
I looked up at him, meeting his gaze for the first time in what felt like hours. His eyes were full of a tenderness I rarely saw. I was grateful for it, grateful for him. It didn’t fix everything, but in that moment, it was enough.
I leaned my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as the car bounced along the uneven road. The steady rise and fall of his chest under my cheek was a comfort, grounding me in a way nothing else could. Pope started coughing again, and I couldn’t help but chuckle despite everything.
“Here, let me show you how to do it,” I said, reaching over to take the vape from his hands. “You’re gonna choke yourself out at this rate.”
Pope, looking embarrassed, nodded gratefully as I demonstrated how to inhale properly.
“Inhale from the pen, hold it while you inhale the air, then hold that, bring it down to your lungs and then exhale slowly. You’vve got to do it slowly or you’ll choke.”
JJ laughed lightly behind me, as I repeated the words he’d said to me years ago when I asked for him to teach me, his low chuckle sending a shiver down my spine.
“Maybe you should teach him how to roll a blunt next,” he teased, his voice warm with affection.
I rolled my eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. “Shut up, J.”
Before we could say anything else, we were jolted out of our conversation by John B’s frantic shouting.
“Start the car, Kiara!” he yelled, rushing up to the Twinkie.
Kiara’s eyes widened in alarm as she scrambled to the driver’s seat, shifting gears and starting the car without hesitation. The chaos that followed was instant. We all screamed at John B, asking him what he’d done. “Just drive, Kiara, drive!” John B shouted as the deputy sheriff, Officer Plumb, came running toward us, trying to catch up.
The Twinkie lurched forward, tires screeching, and as the deputy caught up to the door, Pope screamed, “Open the door, John B!”
John B quickly obeyed, the door swinging open and knocking Plumb off her feet as we sped away. The moment was chaotic, but the adrenaline of escaping gave us all a brief moment to breathe, albeit raggedly.
We sat there in stunned silence, catching our breath, the world outside feeling more dangerous by the second.
“Everybody okay?” Kiara asked, looking around at each of us.
I nodded slowly, my heart still racing. JJ was quiet next to me, his hand finding mine once more, grounding me in a way no words ever could. He didn’t say anything, but the gentle squeeze of his hand spoke volumes.
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The sun beat down on the dusty road, casting a heat haze over the Twinkie as it idled at the side of the road, parked in a secluded spot. The air felt sticky, thick with tension, as if the world was holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. Inside, the Pogues were sprawled in every corner, trying to stay out of sight. Y/n, lying in the backseat, could hear the occasional rustle of the others shifting, but it was quiet, almost too quiet.
She fiddled absentmindedly with JJ's lighter, flipping it open and closed in her hand. The soft click of the lighter’s lid echoed in the otherwise silent car, and she kept her eyes on the motion, trying to focus on anything that wasn’t the mess they were in. JJ’s head was resting on her chest, his hat pulled low to shield her eyes from the harsh midday sun. She could feel his breath against her, a steady rhythm that calmed her more than she wanted to admit.
Y/n glanced down at him, her fingers trailing over the brim of his hat, moving to his neck. The lightest of smiles tugged at the corners of her lips as JJ shifted, his tousled blonde hair falling over his forehead, still messy even under the hat. He stirred slightly, murmuring something unintelligible, but his position didn’t change.
“You good?” she whispered, nudging him gently.
He let out a soft, almost inaudible grunt in response, but the smile he gave her was enough to tell her he wasn’t asleep—just content. “Mmhmm... just trying to avoid the sun. Can’t let it mess up my look, y’know?” he said with a lazy smirk, his eyes still closed.
She rolled her eyes but didn’t protest. The simple, playful teasing was one of the things she loved most about him.
The soft voice of the radio broke the stillness. “Good news for residents of the Outer Banks. Dominion Power says their underwater transmission line, which will restore power to 90% of the area, should be functional within 24 hours.”
JJ’s head shot up suddenly as the sound of sirens wailed in the distance, growing louder as they approached. His eyes flicked to the rearview mirror, then to the side of the road. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, eyes widening as the sirens got closer. He didn’t move to sit up, but the tension in his body was palpable, and Y/n felt it before he spoke again.
He remained on her chest, but his hand gripped her hip with a tightness that made her stomach flip. The sirens passed by, the sound growing fainter until it was nothing more than a distant hum. He exhaled in relief and flopped back down with a groan, resting his head on her chest again.
Y/n let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding, her fingers threading through his hair absentmindedly. She focused on the radio again, trying to push the paranoia out of her head, as did everyone else.
“And still no arrest in the shooting death of Sheriff Susan Peterkin. The state police have issued a statement regarding a local person of interest, a juvenile from—”
The radio cut off abruptly, and Kiara’s voice sliced through the silence. She was sitting in the passenger seat, her hand stretched out to flick the radio dial off with a sharp motion.
“Okay, that’s enough of that,” Kiara muttered, her eyes flicking to the rearview mirror nervously. She rubbed at her temples as if the weight of everything was starting to settle on her shoulders, too.
JJ sat up, his lips twitching into a smirk. “Alright. Let’s game this out. Maybe you guys can help, you know, being the smart ones and all…” He gestured lazily toward Pope and Kiara in the front seats, but his gaze flicked back to them. “But who are the cops gonna believe? Ward Cameron, or us?”
Y/n felt the weight of his words settle in as she kept fiddling with his lighter, trying to avoid looking at him too closely. She already knew the answer.
“The accuser’s a big shot developer, kind of lord of the island, got the governor on speed dial. Isn’t that right, Y/n? Kind of person?” JJ continued, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He gave her a sly look as he leaned over her slightly, nudging her shoulder with his.
Y/n rolled her eyes but didn’t respond, the teasing in his voice making her stomach do that familiar flutter. “Probably,” she said with a grin, but JJ’s expression didn’t change. She tried to ignore the way his words made her heart skip a beat, instead focusing on the lighter again.
JJ raised an eyebrow and pressed on. “And the accused is John B. Who is… pretty much a homeless 16-year-old boy at the moment.”
John B made a sound of protest. “Thanks,” he muttered dryly, not missing a beat.
Pope let out a frustrated groan, rubbing a hand over his face. “Shit,” he muttered, clearly weighing the reality of the situation.
JJ continued, clearly enjoying the tension in the air. “Okay, man. Yucatán. Alright? I’m saying that’s the only option.”
Kiara glanced back at him, her brow furrowed. “What other option do you have?”
John B’s eyes flickered with something—resentment, maybe—before he sighed. “JJ, enough with the Mexican bullshit. Sarah will bail me out.”
“She did witness the whole thing,” Kiara chimed in, turning to glance at John B, her eyes softening just slightly.
John B nodded at her, a brief moment of gratitude crossing his face. “Thanks.”
Pope raised an eyebrow, his voice skeptical. “And she’s gonna snitch on her brother? No offense, Y/n.”
Y/n shifted uncomfortably, her gut twisting. She hadn’t thought much about Sarah’s involvement, but Pope had a point. There was no way Rafe would let Sarah testify against him.
JJ snorted, then took a puff from a blunt he’d suddenly lit up. He leaned back, eyes half-lidded as he exhaled the smoke slowly. “Not happening, bro. Okay? We’ve gotta get you off the island.”
Pope turned to glance out the window, chewing on his lip as if the gears were turning in his head. “The ferry. It’s the only way.”
As if on cue, sirens blared again, and JJ’s eyes widened. “Exit stage left while you still can. Before the entire island’s on lockdown.”
“Guys, get down,” Y/n whispered, her voice tight with nerves as the sound of sirens grew closer, this time much louder.
Pope cursed under his breath as the police cars sped by, their flashing lights cutting through the silence.
“Sarah’s not a Pogue, John B,” Pope said, clearly frustrated.
Y/n felt a pang in her chest, but she couldn’t tell if it was guilt, dread, or something else entirely. She hadn’t thought about Sarah and John B’s connection for a while, but the words felt like a cold reminder of the danger they were in.
JJ leaned closer to her, pressing his shoulder into hers. “Yeah, you can’t stay here, man.”
Y/n gave John B a soft look, knowing JJ was right. They had to move. Fast.
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The atmosphere in the car was tight with nerves, the faint hum of Kiara’s parents’ car the only sound as they drove in silence, the occasional creak of the suspension filling the gaps. The tension among the Pogues was thick—each of them trying to wrap their heads around what came next. JJ’s hand rested on the back of Y/n’s seat, his fingers idly tapping on the fabric as his mind raced, likely thinking about the implications of their next move.
They pulled up to the ferry terminal, the familiar sight of the metal gates and wooden booths looming in front of them. Kiara hit the brakes, coming to a halt as Pope unbuckled his seatbelt, already opening the door. Y/n glanced at JJ, who was still absentmindedly twirling his lighter between his fingers, his eyes focused on the terminal.
“You sure this is the best idea?” Y/n asked, her voice tinged with doubt. “I mean, what’s the plan if the ferry’s not running?”
JJ didn’t respond immediately, just gave her that crooked, half-smiling look, like he always did when he didn’t have an answer but knew he’d figure it out. He squeezed her shoulder, a silent reassurance. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, babe. Stay cool.”
As Pope headed off toward the ticket booth, Kiara rolled her eyes. “Why is it always Pope doing the talking?” she muttered under her breath, running a hand through her hair.
JJ grinned, leaning back in his seat and locking eyes with Y/n. “He’s got the whole ‘nerdy, intelligent’ thing going for him. They’ll believe him.”
Y/n smiled softly at that, reaching over to squeeze JJ’s hand, feeling the warmth of his palm against hers.
John B, sitting beside her in the backseat, watched Pope’s retreating figure with a furrowed brow. “You think the ferry’s even gonna be running?” he asked quietly, his voice strained.
Before anyone could respond, Pope came back to the car, looking less than thrilled. His face was grim as he walked up to the window, a crumpled piece of paper in his hand.
“Okay, alright, no,” Pope muttered, shaking his head as he leaned in the window. He handed Kiara the paper, the frustration clear in his voice, “Bad news,” he announced, holding up a crumpled paper. “The ferry’s not running. And there’s this.”
He handed the paper to Kiara, who opened it with a frown, her face falling as she processed the information. She handed it to Y/n, who read the poster in stunned silence.
John B’s face was plastered on the wanted poster. WANTED: John B Routledge. Reward: $500,000.
“Oh, John B. This is not a good look for you,” Y/n muttered under her breath, her fingers tightening around the paper. She handed it to JJ, her stomach twisting.
JJ didn’t even hesitate before speaking up. “Congratulations, John B. You’re famous.” He smirked, but it was clear he was more worried than he let on.
Kiara groaned, looking between the group. “So, now what?”
Pope, clearly uneasy, turned to face them. “We need to get him out of here. They’re looking for him everywhere. We can’t stay here.”
Kiara was already thinking ahead. “We need to go to the HMS. No running lights. No attention.”
John B shook his head. “It’s at the Chateau Kie.”
JJ leaned back, sarcastic as ever, “I wonder if the cops got that place staked out. Oh wait… they definitely have that place locked down.”
Kiara shot him a glare. “Yeah, thanks, JJ.”
Pope, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, went quiet for a moment before an idea popped into his head, "JJ," he said, his voice breaking the stillness of the car.
JJ snapped his head around, startled, as if he had been caught doing something wrong. His face twisted in confusion. "What?" he asked, his tone defensive.
Pope didn’t seem to notice JJ’s agitation. His excitement was palpable as he turned to look at him. "Does your dad still have that boat? The cigarette boat, the Phantom? The one he used to race?"
JJ clenched his jaw at the mention of his father. His heart skipped, and he immediately wished Pope had kept quiet. "Maybe," he said curtly, his voice low. He didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to think about it. But Pope’s words had unlocked something in his mind, something he couldn’t ignore.
Pope turned back toward the front of the car, clearly excited at the idea of what this could mean. "John B, you could get right up the coast, no problem. It's fast as hell. You wouldn’t have to worry about anyone catching you."
JJ felt a knot twist in his stomach at the suggestion. The last thing he wanted was to take something from his father, especially not something that felt so personal. The boat was more than just a piece of equipment—it was a symbol of everything he hated about his father. "Okay, Pope, look," JJ said slowly, his voice becoming more cautious. "It's not gonna be that easy."
Y/n, who had been watching the interaction, turned around from the backseat. "Okay, well, the surf’s running from, like, three to four," she said, trying to inject some logic into the situation.
JJ shook his head. "I don’t even know where the keys are," he muttered, frustration creeping into his voice.
Pope wasn’t deterred. "Well, find them," he said, his words almost like a command. "Just get us the boat. We’ll figure out the rest."
JJ’s nerves were starting to show now. He was trying to keep it together, but he was definitely starting to feel the pressure. "I’m thinking," he said, his words coming out a little more forcefully than he intended. "Just—just give me a second."
But Pope wasn’t having it. He was way too excited. "Why is nobody moving forward?" he asked, practically bouncing in his seat.
Kiara, who had been silent up until this point, sighed and turned around from the front seat. "Pope, can you relax?" she asked, exasperated. "JJ, how much weed did you give him?"
Before anyone could respond, John B, who had been lying down in the back seat, suddenly sat up and looked out the window. "Guys, your car’s on the poster," he said, his voice tense.
Everyone froze. Pope's hand instinctively reached for the horn, and suddenly the car was making noise, attracting even more attention from the people around them. A kid on the sidewalk pointed at the car excitedly, shouting, "Mom! Look, it’s that guy from the poster! Right there!"
"Asshole," Y/n muttered under her breath, her eyes wide as the situation escalated further.
JJ’s head snapped back around to Pope. "Pope! Turn the car on," he snapped, trying to get their attention before it was too late.
"Drive!" John B and Kiara shouted almost simultaneously, and the chaos continued.
But as if things weren’t bad enough, a guy walked up to the car, looked inside, and started banging on the window. "Hey, he’s right there!" the man shouted. He pointed directly at John B, making the situation even worse.
Kiara, Y/n, and JJ were all screaming at Pope to drive, their voices filled with panic as the guy outside the car continued to shout. John B was trying to cover his face, but it was clear that they were about to get caught.
Just as the tension hit its peak, Officer Plumb, the deputy sheriff, appeared. He was walking toward the group, clearly alerted by the commotion.
"POPE!" Y/n screamed, desperate. "Just drive away!"
Pope, however, seemed to be on a different wavelength entirely. He slammed his foot on the gas, but he hit the pedal too hard and too quickly. The car shot forward and collided with the one in front of them. The sudden impact sent Kiara and Pope lurching forward, the seatbelts keeping them somewhat in place, while John B nearly toppled over his lying position.
JJ, who had been leaning toward Y/n, smashed into her side as the car jerked. He quickly sat up, his hands grabbing her as he tried to regain his balance. "Sorry, baby," he murmured, brushing a kiss against the side of her head. His heart was still racing, and the adrenaline from the chaos was making it hard to focus.
"Pope what the hell are you all doing?" Y/n shouted, clearly panicking as the car remained stuck.
"Back up, Pope!" Kiara shouted, her voice a mix of anger and panic.
Pope, realizing his mistake, slammed the car in reverse and backed up, the car jerking backward. JJ leaned out the window, shouting at the car behind them, "That’ll bump out!"
Kiara was still screaming from her seat next to Pope. "Pope, what the hell? You’re gonna get us killed!"
"Pope!" JJ yelled, looking over at him. "I should be the last one to tell you this, but you are not okay to drive, dude. Stop!"
Pope, apparently unfazed, slammed the brakes hard. "JB, get out," he ordered, a sudden sense of urgency taking over him.
Y/n leaned in, her voice low but filled with determination. "He’s right. We’ll draw the cops. You run."
"I’ll get the rig," JJ added quickly. "Meet me at the dump tomorrow, three o’clock. Okay?"
"Yeah," John B said, nodding as he opened the door and ran out of the car.
JJ shouted behind him, "Three! Tomorrow at the dump!"
As soon as John B was clear, the Pogues erupted into shouts, telling Pope to drive. Pope revved the engine and tore off into the night, the chaos of the situation slowly settling in the rearview mirror.
𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔
JJ, Y/n, Kiara, and Pope had pulled up outside Tannyhill, standing in the cool evening air. The plan had been hastily thrown together, but they were all committed to whatever it took to clear John B’s name.
Y/n was the first to get out of the car, her movements slow and deliberate. As she closed the door, JJ immediately turned to her, his eyes filled with concern.
"Babe, you sure this is a good idea?" he asked, his voice low, almost protective. His eyes searched hers, looking for any sign of hesitation.
Y/n turned to look at him, her gaze soft but resolute. "She’s the only one who can clear John B," she said firmly. "Plus, I need to see if she’s okay."
JJ didn’t look convinced, but he knew she was right. "Last place they’ll look because of how stupid it is," he said, trying to ease the tension.
Kiara got out the drivers seat, "Okay, I’ve got a plan," she said, with determination.
Pope, way too high, shot her a look. "A plan?" he asked, a small laugh escaping him. "Yeah, okay. Let’s do a plan." his enthusiasm grew more than apparent, "Yeah! Let’s plan. Let’s plan it out!" His voice was a little too excited, clearly amped up by something else.
Kiara raised an eyebrow and turned toward him. "Can you handle a plan right now?" she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Pope scoffed in reply, his face growing more animated. "Course I can handle a plan right now! I’m plan guy! I’m Mister Plan-o-matic!" He stood up in his seat, gesturing wildly, then started singing, "Thinkin' of a master plan, aye! Cause there ain't nothin-"
Kiara immediately shoved her hand over his mouth. "Shh!" she hissed, trying to get him to stop.
Meanwhile, JJ pulled Y/n to the side. He looked at her seriously, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Hey, are you sure you’re okay with being here? I mean, we can leave, right now, if you want. Just say the word, baby."
Y/n gave him a small smile, her eyes warm. "No, thanks, J. I’ll be fine. I mean, since I’m basically disowned and have never been acknowledged as one of his children, Ward would 100% kidnap me or whatever if he sees me just march up to the front door." She looked at him with a small laugh, but the seriousness in her voice was unmistakable. "He knows I’m on your guys’ side, and he knows I’d rat Rafe out if given the chance."
JJ pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly against his chest. "I just don’t want you getting hurt."
Before Y/n could respond, they heard Pope’s voice calling from the front. "Kiara, I love you," he said in a loud, sudden declaration.
JJ and Y/n froze, pulling away from each other as they realized what had just happened. The awkward silence that followed was almost unbearable. Kiara immediately denied Pope’s confession, but it was clear to everyone that the situation was more complicated than they wanted to admit.
JJ looked at Y/n, a nervous smile tugging at his lips. "Should we…?"
Y/n nodded quickly, her eyes wide. "Yes. Please."
The two of them hurried away from the awkward scene, walking toward a nearby tree to escape the tension.
As they reached the tree, Y/n smiled and pointed at the trunk. "This was my favorite tree as a kid," she said, her voice soft and nostalgic. "I used to come here to think when things got too much at home."
JJ nodded, looking up at the tree. He could see how much it meant to her, as she told him stories of her and her siblings making up games and treehouses up it.
As they stood there talking, Kiara and Pope continued their own conversation. But their voices seemed distant to Y/n and JJ. The moment felt calm and almost normal. So calm that Y/n didn’t notice JJ’s pocket knife in his hand against the tree as his gaze shifted between the tree and her.
The moment was interrupted when Kiara called out to them. "Come on, guys. We’ve got to go."
As they were walking towards an awkward Pope and Kiara, Y/n’s attention was drawn to a small carving on the tree. She smiled as she recognized the familiar letters. "J.M + Y/I" carved into the bark inside a heart.
She skipped up behind JJ, giving him a quick kiss on the back of his neck as she teased, "Aw, Maybank, you sweet on someone?"
JJ laughed, looking down at her. "Shut up."
Y/n smiled at the carving one last time before following Kiara.
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After the awkward moment with Pope and Kiara, they finally made their way over to Tannyhill, where Sarah’s window awaited. JJ and Y/n approached the side of the house carefully, making sure to stay out of sight.
Y/n climbed the tree to get to Sarah’s window, knocking lightly. Sarah, who had been lying in bed, jumped at the sight of her sister, her eyes wide with surprise.
"Y/n!" Sarah gasped, rushing to open the window.
They both tried to slide the window open, but it was stuck. After a few moments of effort, Y/n finally gave up. Instead, she held up John B’s wanted poster for Sarah to see.
Sarah looked at it, her mascara smudged from earlier, but she didn’t seem surprised. Y/n asked, her voice quieter now, "Are you in on it?"
Sarah shook her head, a faint smile tugging at her lips. "Did you think I was?"
Y/n smiled back. "No."
The two of them shared a moment of silent understanding, and Sarah finally said, "Okay, what’s the plan?"
Y/n took a deep breath, her thoughts racing, but she knew exactly what needed to be done next.
𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:・𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔: 𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔
part nine done!!
i love bucky barnes
ALSO OMG IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO DO THAT COOL GRADIENT THING ON TEXT PLEASE TELL ME IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT BUT IDK HOW TO
remember, taglist and requests are open!! feel free to send me a dm or comment on literally anything and if you have any requests for this series or literally anything else send them in!!💞💞
taglist: @harryssideboobz @onelonelybitch @jeyramarie @snowtargaryen @agnxstic
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x reader angst#jj maybank x reader series#jj maybank imagine#obx4#obx#obx season 4#outer banks#outer banks season 4#john b routledge#sarah cameron#rafe cameron#cameron! reader#pope heyward#cleo obx#kiara carrera#fic series#new fic#fics#summer#jj maybank x cameron reader#jj maybank x reader fluff#topper thornton#obx1#obx2#obx3#outer banks season 1#outer banks season 2
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FOR ONCE someone cared, not that he didn't have his broski and friends supporting him when it came to his music career, it felt better knowing Benny became so passionate about his music. His heart did that little dance in his chest that was felt all the way down the pit of his stomach. "Thanks for the interest babe, didn't expect you to be so supporting or even passionate about my songs. With all these copy and past versions, i feel like people mostly listen and not appreciate or give credit. Maybe i'm being a bit petty, but that shit irks me. I'm no one sticking my nose into other people's musical choices or how they take their career you know. But, of course i'll break down the subliminal messages and translate the wording for you. Italian is no different than spanish but i know you'll get certain phrases however, i'll translate any you don't fully understand." He smiled at his boyfriend. "I will say that i don't like that guy, as long as you play his songs while i'm present, we're good or else i'll be all types of grump." There was no denying Ludo had anger issues more so when this italian copy version Benny mentioned popped up in their conversation. Thankfully that guy was now a switched up topic. For the better.
"I've never messed around anyone outside my age range. I don't know what's the appeal there, fucking around with old people isn't right, i see them as my parents or grandparents. And i see why you dated outside your age, no hate. It was never my thing. Sorry you had to go through that, as always your father keep sticking his nose. He tried with me, and here we are." Ludovic never feared anything, not even death but he did fear not having Benny part of his life anymore. Crazy how he ended up changing for someone when he never thought that would be possible. Benny flipped the world upside down for him, all it took was one kiss to set him free. "Hope you can trust me. It's okay if that's hard for you now but, hopefully i can change that for you." Ludo whispered softly, kissing the other again. Only Benny could ever set him free, giving up on him for whatever dumb reason would be idiotic in itself. His tongue slipped between Benny's soft pillowed yet warm lips. When the kiss broke, hazel hues locked with Benny's blue ocean like ones, smiling at him.
"The ocean is like hell, dense, lonely, dark. Beautiful to marvel at, yet deadly. I guess for you, i can see why you choose it. it's less painful than a plan crash, i assume you'll feel the pain there compared to the ocean, you are more than likely to feel like another sleepy night. Just that you won't wake up. Well, given your tan skin, and how the ocean seems to call you. You are one hell of a sexy merman, take me with you. On the ship and boat, die a slow death in your arms." This was a deep conversation however, Ludo was being serious. If anything, he wanted death to be nice and take him with Benny. As they headed into this shop, Ludo had seen this nice silver pendant in the shape of an ocean which also had initials, lucky he saw one with and L. Guiding his boyfriend to the spot where he saw the necklace, taking it out from where it hung, showing Benny after. "Saw this, and luckily they have one with a B."
Visibly, Benji pursed his lips into a pout. He hated knowing that Ludovic wrote songs for him and Benji had been unaware of it. Why didn't he listen to those rumors? Because mostly rumors like that were just bullshit. ❝I'll listen to all of them from now on, and ask you frequently when I don't understand something. Luckily, Italian and Spanish are similar.❞ If Benji was honest he had to admit that he couldn't wait to know everything Ludovic kept hidden in his songs. But listening to all of those had to wait until much later. Back at his personal prison with his father, Benji would have enough time to listen to all songs. Right now, he rather enjoyed the free and carefree time he could spend with his new boyfriend.
❝Yeah, I really thought that at first. Two or three years before I met you, I dated someone my age briefly. If you can call it dating. But turned out, he said that he's never been interested in me. Richard paid him for leaving me. This made me stop trusting guys my age.❞ But with Ludovic it was definitely different and Benji understood that now. Yet, he also had no doubts that his boyfriend could get everyone to spread their legs for him. Was this triggering his jealousy? Yes, secretly, Benji felt the little green monster of jealousy creeping up again. He didn't even want to imagine how everyone was swooning over Ludovic. And sadly, Benji was already well aware that they'll run into a bunch of ex-flings sooner or later. Will Benji's jealousy endure that? Probably not. Benji could already tell that he'll start an argument when it'll become too much. Luckily, the kiss distracted his mind right away from unnecessary overthinking. All he wanted was to enjoy their date for as long as it lasts. Sooner or later, they will both lose their patience and crave each other again. Benji could already feel that his body was growing impatient. Ludo was just too handsome and his kisses were pure sin. The only way to distract himself was to keep moving while holding a nice conversation. His mind shouldn't go anywhere sinful, not yet at least.
Benji hummed and nodded, not surprised at all that Ludovic considered both scary. It was the most rational answer. ❝It's mainly a question of...which death do you think you could deal with a little better. Most people will probably choose death by plane crash because they hope it'll be faster?❞ Benji shrugged a little bit. ❝But if I'd have to choose, I'd choose the ocean and the ship. Drowning is torture, that's true, but having the ocean as your grave sounds nice to me.❞ A bright smile settled on Benji's lips. ❝That was a downer, I'm sorry. It didn't mean to be one, I just love the ocean a lot.❞ He chuckled and followed his boyfriend's gaze over to the shops. Immediately, his blue eyes flickered. ❝Don't mind actually. What did you see?❞ he asked as he moved closer to the small shop Ludovic mentioned.
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i was listening to the asher reverse comfort audio and BRO WEARS A MASK WITH A SMILE FOR HOURS AT A TIME
#IM NOT EVEN JOKING#ALL THAT WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WAS THE FUCKING SONG#BUT THE FACT IS#THATS WHAT THE POINT OF THE MASK IS#I HATE IT#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#meridians hyperfixations✨#redacted asher
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WHY ARE YOU SO EVIL!!! /POS. ATTACKING YOU.
Xemnas and Xigbar for 37 if that number hasn't been done? If it has, how about 74?
no puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal // ay, todo lo que he hecho por ti.
[ID: a mostly black and white drawing with a purple overlay of xigbar and xemnas shown from the hip up on the left side of the image. the background is black and has some diagonal lines with a bit of transparency on the right side. the shadows are harsh, with only a bit of light falling on their faces.
they stand before each other turned to the audience. xigbar, holds the handle and the middle of No Name before him, head tilted down as he looks to the audience. xemnas stands a full head taller behind xigbar, his left hand held some distance below the bladed tip of No Name, his left eye is covered by his fringe.
xemnas visible eye is painted ochre with a white pupil, while xigbar's eye is white and gold. The eyes on no name's handle and the gazing eye on the blade are a vibrant cyan. the caption reads the spanish lyrics "i can't ask a simple mortal for a forever" and "oh, everything i've done for you." /End ID.]
close-up under keep reading.
#capisnotonfire#PUTS MY HAND TO MY STERNUM AND FALLS TO THE FLOOR ON MY KNEES /affectionate#warning to whoever might open the link; there's a slightly suggestive several 'ay's at the beginning porque shakira it's also bass heavy#OBJECTIVELY THE FUNNIEST SONG THAT COULD'VE COME UP. it's the gift that keeps on giving!!#this specific remix's been on my top list... several years; top five for a couple. i've loved it forever. top radio edits ever.#it's basically about a guy that makes up excuses to hide he's cheating and a gal that's fed up with his bullshit and is like. okay. bye.#i briefly considered going with............ right now i know my heart is yours <- in regards to i'm already half-xehanort#as per usual not ship art but it would be HILARIOUS if it was. it would've been able to go so many incredibly funny tragic ways#nano does reqs#my doods#xigbar kh#xemnas kh#IT TOOK SO LONG. putting this out there because i WILL lose my marbles if i do anything more. it's not as polished as it could.#fret not if you've asked for a req i am still doing 'em this one just. kicked my ass (been busy). i tried a couple of things and failed#THEN the file corrupted like 9 hours in and i wanted to die a little (thank the heavens my drawing app has a#thing to get back corrupted files through their screen recording) but i GIVE UP (affectionate)#Does this make sense thematically? Fuck if i know. i forgot all lore (half serious). it looked cooler in my head (jesting)#anyways. mwah tysm for the ask<3#i love posting at mystifying times (i finish at terrible hours and get excited)#described#74
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all i have been able to think about today is that silly little knife game where you stab the spots between your fingers and try not to hurt yourself and how that silly little game is SO horrorkiller. i cant explain it it bothers me so much that i cant explain it but it just does its so them
they play it when theyre bored. because when in doubt bodily mutilation and the risk of hurt and pain is always an appealing one. and when i mean they i just mean killer because horror wouldn't wanna just hurt himself on the fly like that for funsies. he likes to see others hurt because hahaha FINALLY some damn entertainment!!! but hurting himself???? nononnno hes already got enough body pain as it is oh and killer has already grabbed his hand and started playing (and now horror can't back out because killer's got him sucked in the game)
they sing the silly little song. horror has all his fingers the knife goes chop chop chop if killer misses the spaces in between horror's fingers will come off! and they are both enraptured and both captured in this childishly morbid game. it's so anticipatory because they both know its all up to killer to decide if horror gets hurt. hes more than precise enough to keep the game going for hours long without ever hitting horror but would he want to keep it going for that long? horror doesn't know how long killer would want to wait before getting to see him react to getting hurt
and killer does eventually do it even after theyre sung the song over and over countless times and tried different harmonies and finally killer decides to end this little song and dance and stab into horror's hand. maybe he decides to do a finger. maybe the palm if he really wants to piss horror up. its sudden its surprising and GODDAMN is it painful!!!! horror's trying not to show it but with all the sweat and the way his fingers are twitching killer can see that it hurts him. it's a bit amusing :3
and then horror grabs the knife from killer and they do it all over again but this time horror's the one doing the stabbing. he's not as precise as killer. he hits him a lot more than killer hit him but goddamn it he is in PAIN and wants to let it out because hes annoying and irritated and goddamnit would killer just stop looking at him with that blank smile while he's bleeding out from his hand???? yeah horror's pissy
horror's annoyed and trying to get some form of petty revenge on killer (he likes it when he finally manages to get that stupid smile to falter just a little bit) and killer's watching horror desperately try not to just stab the knife through his oh so very exposed soul that he could very easily hurt if he really wanted to hurt killer. anyways the game finally ends when either one or both of them get bored! but thats fine!!! killer will get bored again and horror will end up escalating it to a messier point than it was before and the only thing that'll get hurt is the surface that they use to stab between fingers. oh and eachother of course :p
#just know that this was based solely off vibes going on in my head#none of this makes sense at all and i have no idea how to express what im thinking but DAMMIT i know what im talking about!!!!!#two sadists walk into a room. one of them enjoys pain one of them doesnt. they make out (horrorkiller)#i just really think theyre neat. it would be sweet to hear them sing that song. it fits them so well#horrorkiller has the knife game. kist has russian roulette. what does horrordust have#what homoerotic dangerously reckless game could horrordust play??? i dont particularly know..........#i remember playing this game when i was younger except i used a pencil. because i dont wanna fucking stab myself????#the song starts off by mentioning that they get drunk first which like. yeah that seems right#horror would start the game if he were first that way he'd get first turn and then get whiny when killer does it back#the knife goes chop chop chop NO IT DOESNT SILLY! the knife cuts the axe chops :3#horror's voice is all shaky and unstable from the anger and pain while killer's is smooth and calm despite him being hurt more#the dichotomy >>>> i love horrorkiller theyre my favorite mttduo!!!!#guy who feels too much and guy who doesnt feel enough. guy who tries to feel nothing is also there but this isnt about dust ok#cringe stuff i removed from the post: horrorkiller holding their mangled hands together while they play this game#the red and black of their blood mix together and drips on the floor from their ruined hands :3 so sweet..........#because horror needs a thing to squeeze while trying to pretend that killer stabbing through his fucking wrist doesnt hurt 💀#dust knows exactly what game they played the night before when horror starts wearing full gloves. and killer ditches his fingerless ones :3#kiiiillllerrrr stop showing off your stab wounds from your buddy thats not family friendly nor is it straight 😒😒😒😒#tricule hc#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#he's MENTIONED (like always. if the 3rd member of the trio wasn't mentioned in tags who would i be)#sans au#utmv#horrorkiller#horrorkiller nation (grand total of 5 people) cmere pspsspspspspsps#1/10 DONE for christmas uaagahhh. why did i tag this hrkl when technically all of my posts could be seen as mttpoly anywausLMAO im so tired#off to do the other 9/10 posts i have to finish.....hahahahaah iM SO TIRED WEARE STILL NOT OPENING GIFTS YET WTF PLEASE I WONT STAY AWAKE
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https://open.spotify.com/track/14UiJ7VaTWsG41YYAs6uha?si=O_wQSPfvRgexvWahmsbcng floyd song
youtube
I struggled a bit to figure out what song you sent because I don't have spotify and sometimes these links don't want to open ksjbdvb. but YOOOOO Floyd in the bottle song, hell yeah, thank you anon! you are strong, floyd, we love you
Please take my own (bipolar, ex bandmates au) Floyd in the bottle song, where he's going a bit mental from being trapped and having to think about his life 🤲
youtube
#i have such a good music video for this song in my head#my boy is just alone with his thoughts#and the more upbeat part with “sailing on a ship...” is where i imagine him being tossed around and used by velvet and veneer#and i am insane about it#and then later he's going insane talking to his reflection in the glass - to himself as the captain of his fucked up existence#and the water flooding in is accompanied by a visual of his feet going pale and see through from being used so much#and the cracking glass refers to him#I AM INSANE WOOOOO#this is all before jd shows up and floyd is sure he is just going to die there and be forgotten#and he desperately wants to find peace with himself#damn i made myself sad#anyway#let me know what you think anon :D#trolls#answered#trolls floyd#edit: changed to a different video bc of issues
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that I’m never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesn’t matter how hard I try I can’t get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyone’s a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesn’t matter I don’t even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me I’m so confused do curations have some#autonomy I don’t think so maybe I don’t fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I can’t be traumatized I’m not human right but I’m having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny I’m fairly certain I’m one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like it’ll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some don’t ?#please understand that I’ve tried very hard I’ve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I don’t know what else to do I’m at a loss and no one will listen to me at all I’ve tried asking offline I’ve tried asking online it doesn’t#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they don’t know what to do I’m suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do it’s all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but I’m#scared what I’ll find who is looking back I’m scared what world I’ll end up in it may be their world I’ll be punished they said yes I’m#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how that’s pathetic but damn I don’t think I can anyway they’ve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes they’re a little funky and just there and other times I’m having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I can’t stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see I’ve been reduced#down into something tiny I’ve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words aren’t my own my thoughts#aren’t my own so is this not my own can’t ever speak none of it’s my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isn’t this#it isn’t safe it isn’t my own it’s not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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Okay okay look I was watching youtube and Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling (ft. Lzzy Hale) came on and I just....... It's so Swannatello AU
OOOOHHHHHH IT'S GOOD... IT WORKS...
#REALLY GOOD#the fucking#edm/dubstep elements for dee#the ballerina and mechanical imagry and lyrics#OOHHH ITS GOOD#saw a whole ass AMV in my head#im finally taking the time to look through all these song recs i have in my box lmao#THIS IS GREAT#slowly but surely building a swanatello playlist#ugh i have SUCH a clear image of what an animatic for this would look like#same with the Malinda Music Box song#but this one would be SOOO much work coz the? bpm is so high lmao#and i am not particularly versed in animation or animatics#BUT I SURE DO SEE IT#with all the like? the bits where theyre really GOING HARD on the violin?#no words just instrumentals#just imagine flashing scenes of swanatello being a total badass doing his whole ninja/ballet/waterbending shit#and we're hitting each beat#goddammit i wish i was an animation studio#not “i wish i could animate”#i wish i WAS A STUDIO lmao coz itd be a huge project for a person#anyway#asks#anon#swanatello asks
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