#ALL IV ELROY

[conanssummerchild]

writing more rick and morty fanfic abt rick wanting to off himself, also Summer's here !! :D

tw discussions of suicide and suicidal thoughts and such

Morty fidgeted with his hands where he was leaned against Rick's work bench, but Rick paid him no mind, all his intense focus on whatever invention he was currently tweaking.

It had been nearly three months already since Rick had finally found and killed Rick Prime, and Morty had started to breathe a little easier. For the first few weeks after the event his worry for Rick had been so great that it felt like a huge weight was crushing his lungs, not letting him relax for even a second, but Rick seemed to be doing a little better now. His drinking was back down to normal levels for him—it still wasnt healthy, but when had rick ever cared about his own health? He started joining the family for meals again, and actually ate. Mostly.

But there was still moments when Morty would catch him zoning out, with an expression of such pure sadness that it was a little terrifying.

Morty worried so much, it was exhausting. Sometimes he wished he could be more like Rick, letting loose, going with the flow, but then again, things didn't seem to be going too great for him either.

"H-hey–" Morty tried, but his voice came out too squeaky so he cleared his throat. "Hey, Rick?"

"Mhm." Rick mumbled, only half paying attention and Morty frowned.

"Rick." He repeated more firmly, shoving his shoulder lightly to get his attention. "I w-wanna talk about something."

Rick pulled his goggles off harshly, turning to face Morty with a scowl. "Morty I'm in the– in the middle of something. C-can't this wait until after I get the battery on this stupid thing to work?"

Morty pouted. "It's important."

Rick gave a long suffering sigh, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "For fucks sake, Morty. You– you always wanna talk when I'm doing important science shit. What do you want?" He tossed his googles down onto the work bench, not bothering to look where they landed and reached inside his labcoat, grabbing his flask and taking a swig of a foul-smelling, likely alien liquor that Morty could smell even from where he stood on the other end of the work bench. He wrinkled his nose but continued.

"I-I-I've been real worried about you, Rick–"

"Oh, god." Rick interrupted with a large, rather dramatic groan. "Can I just kill myself in advance, or– or is attendance to this talk mandatory?" He rolled his eyes, taking another slightly larger sip from his flask.

Morty startled a little. "Rick! don't– don't say that." He said. His voice trembled a little, the resolve he'd been trying to build up crumbling.

Rick looked like he had another sarcastic comeback ready to go, but paused at Morty's watery eyes, his unibrow rising up into his hairline in surprise.

"Woah, woah, Morty, I was just– just kidding. I was just joking." His tone softened a little, clearly trying to be comforting but missing the mark, his discomfort palpable.

And Morty couldn't help it, he burst into tears.

"Shit, uh, don't cry, Morty. I, uh, it's okay... dawg."

Morty would've laughed a little at Rick's emotional constipation if it didn't feel like there wasn't any air getting into his lungs.

"Please don't kill yourself." was all he could get out between sobs. "P-please, grandpa Rick. I don't want you to die."

"I'm not killing m-my-myself." Rick cringed at the stutter. God, he was really out of his depth. He gulped down the rest of the contents of his flask like it was water and he had just spent all day in the boiling sun.

What was he suposed to do? What were his options right now? Call for Beth? No, not with Morty's cries for Rick not to kill himself, she would freak, and Jerry was useless, so he was left with only one option.

"Summer!"

He shook his hands out anxiously, trying to shake the stress out of them.

Summer pushed open the door. "What?" She drawled, and then caught a glimpse of Morty's sobbing form. "Oh, shit, what happened?"

"I don't know." Rick was practically vibrating with nervous energy, trying to keep his hands tightly at his sides now that Summer was watching. "I-I-I-I don't know w-w-what to do."

"Jeez, grandpa, breathe. Since when do you care about Morty being upset?"

Rick shrugged, fuck she was right, this wasn't how he acted normally, he needed to calm down, why was he so frazzled? A little voice in his head reminded him that he knew exactly why. He ignored it.

"Fuck you! Just– Just help me, Summer!"

"Calm down." She said, and then turned to Morty, who was crying quieter now, hands covering his face. "Morty, what's wrong?"

Rick held his breath.

"S-S-Summer..." Morty hiccuped.

"Yeah I'm here."

"I think grandpa Rick wants to kill himself."

Summer's eyebrows raised a little and her eyes widened, she tried to school her expression back into something neutral but she had clearly not been expecting that answer.

"I don't!" Rick immediately cut in but Morty began to cry harder again at that.

Summer shot him a look and Rick winced, retreating into a corner of the garage. He reached for a bright green bottle labled 'Water' in a different language. He'd gotten it from a small humid planet in the Ribble-Bob system, where what they considered water had a higher alcohol content than anything he could get his hands on on earth, and to Rick's delight, it was a hell of a lot cheaper. He had a stash of Ribble-Bobbian alcohol too, but it was so strong that it could knock out humans with even the highest tolerance with only a few shots. So he kept that for special occasions.

He watched silently as Summer calmed Morty down, throughts racing and neon green bottle emptying. It was pretty clear that Morty was very upset, even Rick in all his emotional ineptitude could see that, but he was struggling to descifer Summer's feelings. She seemed... annoyed at him? No, not quite. Rick frowned. The buzz that he'd began to feel wasn't helping any, he shook his head frustratedly. She was tense for sure, the whole room was thick with tension though.

Eventually Morty's quiet sobs stopped altogether and he wiped his eyes, quick to fix them on Rick as soon as tears weren't blurring his vison anymore.

Rick shifted awkwardly from his position on the floor, laying his legs flat in front of him in lieu of folded to his chest and slowly waving at Morty without making eye contact, unsure of what the fuck else to do.

"Can w-we backtrack a little?" Morty said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Rick nodded, unusually quiet. His words felt stuck in his throat and he couldn't get them out.

Morty sighed a little, accepting he wasn't going to get anything out of Rick right now, and going on with what he had wanted to say. "Okay. I've been worried about you because w-when Evil Morty came here, when you had already left to get, um, that guy."

"Prime." Rick croaked, voice forced.

"Right, Prime. A-A-After you left to fight Rick Prime, Evil Morty asked me what I thought was gonna happen if you actually killed him, and he kind of suggested that you might... kill yourself."

"Evil Morty's full of shit." Rick rasped. "He doesn't even know me, we've met like w-what, three times?"

"I'm not done! Let me finish." Morty pouted. "Him saying that worried me be-because it made me think about all your reckless behaviour and how little you seem to care about your own life sometimes, you know."

Rick scoffed but Summer raised an eyebrow at him, so he just scowled and looked back down at his feet, letting Morty continue.

"I-I guess I'd never considered it before, I mean not seriously. Sure, I... wondered sometimes, b-but when Evil Morty said it like that, well, the more I thought about it the less... unrealistic it seemed, and you've just seemed so empty these past months, i was re-really worried." Morty's voice broke a little, but he pushed on. "Also he's seen your downloaded brain, so, y-y'know he would know, right? He wouldn't just be saying it for no reason."

"He was saying it to-to-to psych you out, Morty!" Rick stammered, gesturing wildly. "And it's working! Look how psyched out you are, M-Morty! This is what he wanted!"

"Why would Evil Morty want this?"

"Uh, because he's evil, Morty. Duh-doy."

"Okay!" Summer interrupted loudly. "This isn't getting anywhere."

"It would get somewhere if Morty would just-"

"Grandpa Rick! Stop. Can you both just listen to me? Or I'm putting you in a cage again until you actually prove you're not a danger to yourself."

Rick crossed his arms, glaring at her, but she glared right back, unwavering.

"Fuck, whatever." He grumbled, slumping back against the wall.

"Good." Summer said, turning serious again. "Now, how can you reassure Morty that you aren't going to hurt yourself?"

"He should just take my word for it!"

"You lie to me all the time!" Morty exclaimed.

"He has a point." Summer cut in again. "Why should he trust you? Especially if you're planning on killing yourself."

"Im not killing myself!"

"I don't believe you." Morty said, sounding miserable and hurt. Rick's shoulders slumped. He didn't have a good response to that.

The silence streched on uncomfortably, the atmosphere tense and serious. This was a real issue, which Morty knew Rick didn't like to deal with. His style was more like shoving his serious problems under the metaphorical carpet until he couldn't walk on it without feeling sharp pain wherever he stepped, until no one could walk on it at all.

"Well I don't believe you either." Summer said quietly. But I do have one idea." She pointed to her left and Rick and Morty's eyes followed her gaze to the lie detector Rick had stolen on his and Morty's adventure to Venzenulon-10.

Morty shuddered remembering it, he'd nearly fallen into lava that day and Rick had barely flinched. Would Rick even be doing this for him? He couldn't imagine him crying for Morty the way Morty had been crying for him just a few minutes ago.

"I'm not– A polygraph, Summer? Seriously? That's dumb, I'm not doing that shit, this isn't fucking Community."

"What? What the fuck is that?" Summer frowned.

"Community? What– you've never watched Community? Fuck, we-we've gotta watch it. Not Earth's one though, Glorbion-56C's version is way gayer, we gotta watch that one."

"Okay, sure, whatever. But first we have to finish this." Summer put her hands on her hips, not willing to budge.

"I agree with Summer." Morty pitched in, more meek, but still firm.

"Fine, fuck, whatever. You know polygraph tests are dumb, right? They might w-work on simple minded neurotypicals like Jerry, but I'm the fucking smartest man in the–"

"Grandpa, sit the fuck down."

Rick scowled, but sat down in the chair Summer pointed at, not without an eye roll. He knew that there was no stalling his way out of this one, Summer and Morty were both stubborn and he could see the poorly-concealed anxiety in their faces and demeanour, he knew they weren't going to let this go. He just hoped he really was smart enough to outsmart the lie detector.

"Okay, bring it on." He sighed, feigning boredom and disinterest.

Summer stumbled a little bringing the polygraph over to Rick's work bench, the machinery was heavier than it looked. The Venzenulons had a lot of really advanced technology but the planet Rick had gotten this specific machine on used bismuth in a lot of creations, making then heavier than they should be, but it was worth it, really, Venzenulon-10's technology and craftsmanship was miles ahead of Venzenulon-4's, or god forbid Venzenulon-22's. Rick almost chuckled to himself just thinking about it.

Summer finally set the polygraph machine down on the work bench with a thump and a groan from her and Rick let her fasten the little black strip aroud his finger.

"Take your labcoat off." Summer murmured absentmindedly, fiddling around with the slightly tangled wires.

"My labcoat stays on."

Summer gave him a look.

"Jeez, Rick, just take it off." Morty whined.

"No, fuck both of you. I-I-I'm already doing your dumb ass test and my labcoat being on literally has no effect on that stupid thing working, so both of you can lick my balls." He fumed.

"Jesus, grandpa. Cranky much?" Summer said sassily, putting a hand on her hip. "You can keep your dumb labcoat you're so in love with then."

She slid the cuff up Rick's arm, fastening it around his bicep.

"That's where it goes, right?" She asked. "How do i make the screen turn on?"

"Theres a-a switch on the back." Morty told her. "Just press that and it should work."

Summer felt along the back of the large screen before pressing down on the switch, making it light up with three wiggly graph-like things.

"Uhhh, grandpa how the hell do I read these?" Summer frowned.

"Don't– don't worry. This is like a lie detector for dummies, if you know how to read the lines, great, but it also just displays whether the answer is true or a lie when a question is asked. Ask me something you know the answer to."

"Uh, are your... eyes brown?"

"Yes."

The word "TRUE" flashed across the screen in bold green.

"Oh, tight, okay. We can get started, then. Morty, you ask whatever questions you have, I'll man the machine."

"Okay." Morty said, nerves making his voice wobbly. Rick took a deep breath.

"Do you want to kill yourself?" Morty asked and the garage went completely silent for a moment, air feeling so thick you could choke on it.

"No." Rick answered evenly.

Summer swallowed. "He's– he's telling the truth." She said shakily.

Morty breathed a sigh of relief. "Jeez, well that's– Phew, that's good. That's a relief."

Another beat passed and then Morty spoke again. "Have you ever wanted to kill yourself?"

"No."

"That's a lie."

Rick glared at Summer but she just shrugged, face unreadable to him.

"Aw jeez..."

"Oh come on, my-my whole family died right in front of my eyes, I've been tortured by- by countless aliens, been held prisoner, a guy can't even wonder?"

"Well, I mean, that is, that's– that's a good point you make there, Rick. But- but you wouldn't...? You've never actually tried to, like, actually kill yourself, right, Rick?"

"Obviously not. If– if I wanted to kill myself I would've, and I wouldn't fail, I'm a genius."

"R-right. So you haven't tried to kill yourself?"

"No, Morty."

Summer stared down at the monitor, lips pressed together in a tight line. "That's the truth." She said. her voice sounded a little weird but Morty was too relieved to really think about it.

"Thank god, Rick, wow. That's a really big relief to me, you know. Sorry I-I didn't believe you before, I was real just worried."

"Hey, it's all good, dawg. Don't even- don't even trip about it. You wanna go watch some Ball Fondlers, buddy?"

"Yeah!" Morty grinned, demeanor a lot more relaxed than it had been before. "Yeah, let's watch Ball Fondlers."

"What do ya say, Sum-Sum? Ball Fondlers?"

Summer flipped the switch on the machine, powering it back down. "I'm busy." She said, whipping out her phone "Have fun though."

Rick shrugged, detatching himself from the polygraph and tossing the cuff and finger strip onto the table. "Okay. Well I'm getting me some Nuptian weed, babyyy!"

"Aw jeez, Rick. You're getting high?"

"It's– it's better that way, Morty, trust me. Nuptian weed lets you see in 4D. In 4D, Morty! Really enhances the experience. Plus don't– don't you think I deserve to have a little buzz, it's been quite a day."

"I don't know, Rick. Didn't you drink like that whole bottle of liquor just now?" Morty asked, pointing to the discarded green bottle laying in the corner of the room.

"What? Morty, that's water, that's– it's practically water. It says water on the front of the bottle." Rick murmured, digging through one of his drawers before triumphantly pulling out a small transparent box filled with a bunch of purple-ish pink blunts and a lighter with a naked woman on it. "Ah, fuck yeah, Morty. I knew I still had some. Okay, come on, lets go."

Summer followed them out of the garage and then walked up the stairs, hearing their conversation get quieter as they got further away. She didn't let the first tear fall until she was in her room with the door shut.

"Shit." She breathed. "What the fuck."

She sat down with a small thud and hugged her knees to her chest.

She hoped the memory on the lie detector didn't back up, or that Morty didn't get curious and look through it one day, just to be sure.

Because if he did, he would just see the same word displayed four times in bold red.

"LIE"

the end hfjejsjw

this sucks arseee and its way too long and i dirnt really go over the second half but idc its 2am so sorry for any spelling errors and general shitty writing 😗 peace out, hope u enjoy

[liketheletter-l]

!!!! I just saw your rankings of communtiy episodes and your so right fr (espically with Paradigms of Human Memory and Curriculum Unavailable, top teir epsidoes. Ive been wanting to rank all the epsidoes for forever, but have the worlds shortest attention span.

Also your right about s5-6 feeling so sad. I know a point of alot of them was to be sad( gi jeff, geothermal escapism) but alot of them werent meant to be sad but still made me so depressed to watch( that one moment from bondage and beta male sexuality where abed looks at troys chair makes me sob). And for me even the intro sequence is heartbreaking, watching as the cast names slowly disappear from the little fortune teller :((.

Honeslty half the time i just count the s5 finale as the show finale, because i feel its a decent sendoff that keeps most of the engery of the show(mostly so i can ignore the weird jeffannie moment in the s6 finale)

sorry for the long ask i could talk about this show 4 hours :P

NO YOURE TOTALLY RIGHT. it's so weird cuz like, most of the episodes in isolation would be fine, but just contextually it's tragic because you know the show is coming to a very sad end

i wish seasons 5 and 6 had been combined somehow. or like you could swap them. take the wacky hijinks of season 6 (frankie and elroy) and put them in s5, and leave the heavy character work and semi-satisfying conclusion for s6. except 6x02 FUCK 6x02 that episode needs to be wiped from existence.

anyway yes!!!! i am ALWAYS down to talk abt community just shoot me an ask

[loyvltyoverroyvlty]

(ALL IV ELROY)

[keithsauxia]

mods are asleep till s7 trailer, post screenshots of tres horny dairugger boys

[spn-imagines-feels]

Supernatural X Reader: Solemn Dream {Chapter One}

Summary: After the car accident, you wake up to learn that Dean still hasn’t regained consciousness and that the demon could still come after you four.

Word Count: 922

Warnings: None

A/N: Sorry that this chapter is short! I have a bigger idea for something for a second chapter so it’s going to be much longer!

The void was always cold, and silent no matter how much you begged someone to answer you. You were not even sure if you were dead or alive until the moment you woke up. But when you would, you could never begin to guess. For all you knew, you really were dead this time. It was always a risk you were willing to accept in your life as a hunter. Most times, the reward of knowing that you were saving the lives of innocent made it worth it. Occasionally, you would question why you even put yourself into the line of danger for people who didn’t even know who you were or the importance of the things you did. There was only one thing that truly kept you going. They would never forget you.

No matter what, hunting came with fears. It didn’t matter how brave you were, or how many times you would tell yourself that things were just fine. There would always be a part in the deepest depths of your thoughts - the unconscious mind - where you knew the true horrors of the supernatural and the life of a hunter. Now that you were in the middle of it all, there was no escaping from it, as you would forever be submerged in it. No matter how much you wanted out, you would never find it.

As your eyes fluttered open, they tried to focus on the light around you. It took a few moments to finally adjust to it, but a headache as predominant over any of your thoughts. As confusion struck you, you glanced around to see a nurse tending to an IV bag by your hospital bed. The blonde noticed you had woken up, offering a warm smile, speaking “I see that you’re finally awake,” she brought to your attention as she turned to face you. “we weren’t sure when you would regain consciousness.”

It all came back to you, what had happened. A trucker had rammed the Impala in the side. It couldn’t have been them, because considering the recent encounters with demons, it was no coincidence. The Yellow Eyed Demon must have sent others after you an the Winchesters. “H-How are the others,” you came to inquire, trying to sit up. You winced, body aching all over.

“No, please don’t try to move too much,” she insisted, gently pushing you back down with her hand. She could see the concern written upon your bruises facial expression. “Sam and Elroy are both awake and stable. But I’m afraid that Dean is still unresponsive but the doctors are doing the best that they can for him,” you bit your lower lip at what she explained to you. It brought you back to the day he almost lost his life while trying to take down that Rawhead. Her mentioning an ‘Elroy’ was not surprising, John must have used a fake name.

“Can I see them?” you questioned, eyes locked on her icy blue ones in hope.

She let out a soft sigh. “Sam is dealing with some paperwork, but I will let him know that you’re awake. For now, please stay in bed, you need the rest,” she insisted, getting a small nod from you. “alright, good. I’ll send him in as soon as you can,” as you watched her write down a few things on your chart and make her leave, you glanced down to see a brace on your left wrist. It was a little numb and swelled, you probably had a sprain of some sorts.

You bobbed your head back and focused on a single light panel. You weren’t sure how much time passed by the time you heard a light knock by the door. You looked over to see Sam, giving him a small smile. “Thank God you’re okay…” you whispered out to him. “I can’t believe what happened, one moment we’re rushing to the hospital for Dean and your father, and now here we are, also both injured,” you let out a scoff. “such luck, huh?”

He laughed a bit with you, approaching the side of your bed. “I was about ready to head over to Bobby’s and get the Impala from the junkyard,” the corners of your lips twitched at the mention of the car. Dean was bound to be pissed at the damaged that it had to endure. He took out a small papered list and handed it to you. “dad wanted me to get these things, do you know what they could be used for?” he wondered. “he told me that they’re for protection against the demon, but I don’t know. Something seems off.”

You skimmed over the materials listed, but shook your head. “I haven’t even heard of a few of these things, sorry Sammy,” you apologized and handed him back the list. “I really want to talk, but you really can’t waste any time. If it’s really for protection, then you have to hurry. We can’t afford another minute with a chance that he will come back.”

Sam frowned, knowing that you were right. “Alright (Y/N). I’ll be back soon. Just take care of yourself, I won’t take too long,” the small frown curled into a smile as he backed away, turning on his heels to make his leave. You let out a sigh and pursed your lips together. How did things turn out this way? Dean was dying and you were battling for protection against the demon. Would things really turn out alright this time around?

[belladxne]

this is kind of a weird request but i see u reblog mc/elroy stuff sometimes and are a cool person, ive been getting into their stuff lately but all the blogs i keep finding have some uhhh less than stellar opinions on ace people, for some reason? (i dont know if thats a this specific community sort of issue or if i just have bad luck, but it is exhausting) do u have any recs of people that post mc/elroy stuff but arent a/phobes? (im putting slashes to keep you out of tags in case you dont want)

Yes! I don’t think it’s weird at all, and I’m glad to help. Wudonnas is ace and likes the mcelboys (and I think sunbellas, also ace, said she was getting into TAZ?), prettycryptic and eamesinreallife are rly cool folks who I’ve seen ace-positive posts from who reblog the boys, freeside and sighborgs reblog lots of content for them, and I’ve seen pearlfuck, yeen-spirit, and hard-light-lesbian posting stuff related to them, too! That’s everyone from my dash I can remember posting content related to them off the top of my head.

You’ll probably want to just look through and explore all their blogs to make sure they’re your cup of tea because I follow a pretty wide range of people for a pretty wide range of reasons, but I unfollow on site for aphobia so in my experience these blogs have all been safe from that!

[notsofly]

Ties in Blood Chapter 13

@mrswhozeewhatsis @impala-dreamer  @squirrelnotsam @percussiongirl2017

@winchestergirl-13 @idreamofplaid

Chapter 13

Aaliyah could hear “Bad Moon Rising” from the radio. Was she dead? No, not dead. She had just gone unconscious from the impact. From what? She shifted. Bad idea, very bad idea. In the front seat, Aaliyah heard Sam’s voice call out for Dean, who didn’t respond. Her mind panicked as she forced herself through the body crippling pain. Bones felt like they were broken, rib cracked, was that a dislocated hip? Something was dislocated. Finally, Aaliyah opened her eyes and saw Dean unconscious and still losing blood.

“Aaliyah?” One word from Sam. A question.

“I’m … alive. Battered, bruised, and feel like death,” she replied, breath ragged. Yeah, there was a broken rib or two. “Dean’s out cold, and I don’t know if he’s gonna survive the night. How’s your Dad?”

“Unconscious.”

Aaliyah shifted, biting her lip enough to bleed. “We gotta stay awake,” she told Sam. “The risk of us both having concussions is too high.” Her mind scrambled in the attempt of finding something for the both of them to talk about. “How you do feel about talking about Jess? Is what the demon said true, you were planning on asking her to…”

“Yeah, I was.” Sam’s voice was too quiet for Aaliyah’s liking. Either he didn’t want to talk about it or he was slipping.

“I woulda liked to have met her,” Aaliyah said in the attempt to stir the conversation away from the demon and back to Jess.

“She woulda liked you,” Sam commented. “Aside from the whole hunting part.”

Aaliyah chuckled for a few seconds before a shot of pain ripped through her chest. Yeah, definitely a broken rib or two. “Sam … I … I’m sorry. I was supposed to have helped on this…”

“You did.”

Aaliyah’s stomach dropped when Sam drifted off. “Sam? Sam!” She called his name until her throat was raw. “Come on, Sammy,” Aaliyah pled, her voice above a whisper. “Don’t leave me here alone.” Tears threatened to fall. “I don’t wanna die alone.” Her consciousness drifted in and out as her mind and body went into life saving mode.

A sound slipped into Aaliyah’s consciousness, bringing her back around. It was familiar, from before the hunt. Hospital. ER. Helicopter. Yeah, that was it. Voices shouted over the sound of the helicopter’s engine. Quick but gentle hands eased Aaliyah out of the back of the Impala and onto a stretcher. The voices of the EMTs called out the obvious injures she had and knew about. Sam’s voice filtered over to her as he called out, asking about John and Dean. Then he called out about her.

“I’m fine,” Aaliyah shouted. “I’ll see you at the hospital.” She fought against the urge to panic as she was loaded into an ambulance.

The EMTs went to work sticking Aaliyah with IV lines and sticking electrodes on her chest. She tried to remember all the injures they listened off. Bruises on several parts of her body, not surprised. What seemed to be either broken or cracked ribs. Again, that wasn’t a surprise to her. A dislocated knee that would be painful to fix. So that explained why Aaliyah hadn’t been able to fully move her leg during the night. And one EMT wasn’t positive about a back injury. Panic hit then. Aaliyah squeezed her eyes closed in her fight against tears. A few rolled down the side of her head even as the ambulance pulled up to the emergency room door and the nurses rushed out to greet them.

The organized chaos that Aaliyah had been in only a few days ago seemed so … confusing. Her mind had been in hunter mode ever since Dean and Sam picked her up and struggled to make the change over to her nursing mode. A nurse inserted something in her IV line a minute before she sensed six people pressing her body down and one person holding her leg. Aaliyah heard the silence between the team members right before the one who held her leg pulled it. Her throat went raw when a scream of absolute pain shot from her mouth.

“Aaliyah!” came a scream of concern.

“Sammy!” Aaliyah fought against the nurses that held her down. “Talk to me. Sammy.” The dam that she had worked on to keep her emotions back finally broke and the tears started full force.

“…CT and MRI of her back …” the attending doctor’s voice drifted into Aaliyah’s attention span.

Aaliyah blinked away the tears. Flashes of what was wrong with her back ran through her mind. Paralyzed from the waist down. Lack of motion in her legs. Nerve damage. Anything could be wrong with her. The gurney Aaliyah was on was rolled out of the ER bay and down the halls to where the CT and MRI scans would take place. She fought against falling unconscious again even at the nurse and technician took her into the room and helped her onto the bed for the first of two scans. The nurse tucked the saline bag under Aaliyah’s hand before stepping away from the bed.  

The slab moved Aaliyah into the tube. She closed her eyes, the odd sense of feeling safe enough she didn’t have to fight or be in a constant state of fear from a demon attack. She stared up at the tube as the slab stopped. The thought that her head was being scanned as well passed through her head. It did make sense in away since John and Dean were unconscious for the whole time. The slab moved again and Aaliyah went deeper for her back to be scanned. She attempted to move her feet, even wiggle a toe.

“Please don’t move, ma’am,” a voice requested over the speaker.

The tests finished up and Aaliyah was helped off the slab and into a waiting wheelchair.

“Where are the others that were in the car with me?” Aaliyah asked the nurse pushing the wheelchair.

“The older of the three men is in a private room,” the nurse answered. “One of the two brothers is still unconscious and in ICU.”

“And the other brother?”

“Minor injuries. He was released some time ago.”

“If you see him, can you have him come to whatever room I’m…” Aaliyah trailed off as the nurse parked her in a spot in the hallway before walking off. “Hey, don’t leave me here.”

Left on her own, Aaliyah stared down at her feet, shoes lost back in the ER. She stared at her big toes and willed them to move. Nearly three years of hunting were not about to end because she had gotten injured in a car crash against a semi truck driven by a demon. Aaliyah glared down and mentally told her feet to move, looking for any sign that the signal from her brain was reaching her feet. Nothing moved. She willed her foot to slid off the front of the foot rest. She was willing to settle for any movement from her feet. No movement.

The nurse that had left Aaliyah came back without a word.

“Thanks for leaving me,” Aaliyah snapped.

The nurse didn’t respond as they rolled Aaliyah down the hall before turning into a room.

“Aaliyah.” Surprise sounded in Sam’s voice.

“Thank you, nurse,” John said, a dismissal tone in his voice. “Are you okay?” he asked Aaliyah once the nurse left the room.

“Bruised, a few ribs are either broken or cracked, a knee sore and swollen from being dislocated,” Aaliyah listed off. “And I’m pretty sure I’m paralyzed from the waist down.”

“Aaliyah, I’m sorry …” Sam started, stopping when Aaliyah held up a hand.

“Don’t. You’ve hunted your whole life,” Aaliyah said. “I’ve gotten lucky. I … I’ve accepted the fact I may not walk again.” She watched John struggle to pull out his wallet before handing a card to Sam.

“Give ‘em this insurance,” John told his son.

“Elroy McGillcutty?” Sam read.

“And his two loving sons and …” John glanced over to Aaliyah. “Beautiful daughter.”

Aaliyah shifted a little, the acceptance from John a bit unnerving. Either he actually accepted her as an able-bodied hunter – until now – or he saw her as a member of the family. “So, what did the doctors say about Dean?”

“Nothing,” Sam answered. “They won’t do anything, we will. I’ll go find a hoodoo priest and lay some mojo on him.”

“We’ll look for one,” John seemed to agree.

“We found that faith healer,” Sam countered.

“And that was one in a million,” John pointed out.

“So, we just sit here with our thumbs up our asses?” Aaliyah jabbed, leaning forward in the wheelchair.

“No,” John turned to her, anger rising a beat in his voice. “I said we’ll look. Alright?” He turned between the two. “Where’s the Colt?”

“Your son’s dying and you’re worried about the Colt?” Aaliyah raised her voice.

“We’re hunting this demon,” John reminded her. “And maybe it’s hunting us. That gun’s our only card.”

“It’s in the trunk,” Sam cut in. “They dragged it to a yard off I-83. I already called Bobby, and he’s an hour out. He’s gonna tow it back to his place.”

“Alright,” John accepted. “You go meet up with Bobby, get the Colt, and watch out for hospital security.”

“I think I got it covered.” Sam started for the door, giving Aaliyah a reassuring shoulder pat.

“Sam.” John held up a piece of paper. “Here, I made a list of things I need. Have Bobby pick it up.”

Sam took it and read off the items. “Acacia? Oil of Abramelin? What's this stuff for?”

“Protection.”

Sam turned for the door before turning back. “Hey, Dad. The demon said he had something special for me and those like me. Do you have any idea what it was talking about?”

“No, I don’t.”

Sam turned and left the room, leaving Aaliyah alone with John.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, John?” Aaliyah wondered out loud.

“Finishing the job.”

“At what cost? Dean’s life? My legs? When does it stop, John?” Aaliyah waited for an answer before turning the wheelchair around. “Let me know when you can answer that?” She managed to get through the door, a shiver running down her spine. “What’s up with the cold air around here?” Aaliyah worked to gain some control over the bulky hospital issue wheelchair by the time she reached the nurses’ station.

“Sorry, to interrupt,” she cut in, trying to do her best version of Dean’s charm. “But I never got a room.”

The nearest nurse turned to the computer. “Name?”

Aaliyah leaned forward, giving the nurse what she hoped was a flirty smile. “McGillcuttry.”

The nurse returned the smile and turned back to the computer. A few keystrokes and mouse clicks happened before she turned back to Aaliyah. “Room 254.”

“Thank you …” Aaliyah caught the nurse’s name. “Madison.” She winked at Madison before managing to wheel back from the station.

“Hang on, Ms. McGillcuttry,” Madison told Aaliyah. “Let me help you.”

Aaliyah stopped and smiled to herself as Madison pushed the wheelchair. “How soon will the doc come around with the test results?”

“By the end of the day,” Madison told her as they turned into Aaliyah’s room. “Do you want anything?”

Aaliyah eyed the bed set at a height just too high for her to transfer herself as her stomach growled. “A menu would be nice. Thank you, Madison.”

Aaliyah waited a few minutes before wheeling herself out and to the elevator bay. She cued the car for the ICU floor and tapped an index finger on the armrest. None of the staff on the floor questioned Aaliyah’s presence as she wheeled herself around looking for Dean’s room.

“Can I help you?” a nurse called over to Aaliyah.

“Yeah, I’m looking for my brother’s room. Came in about the same time I did, bad car crash.”

“Room 423.”

Aaliyah rolled into the room to see Dean hooked up to a ventilator and other machines. The wounds he had were stitched up and the blood washed off. If it hadn’t been the constant beeping and slight wheezing of the machines, Aaliyah swore Dean was sleeping. “Hey, Dean,” she spoke, her voice just above a whisper. “This may sound stupid, maybe not given what we do, but I know you’re still here. It’s a feeling I have, and I can’t explain it. Just … don’t give up on us.”

“There you are, Ms. McGillcuttry,” Madison’s voice sounded behind Aaliyah. “I wondered…”

“I wanted to see how my brother was doing,” Aaliyah said, spinning herself around. “I wasn’t told I couldn’t be up here.”

“You can visit later,” Madison said. “The doctor’s ready to talk with you. And I’ve got that menu for you.” She stepped around Aaliyah and pushed her back to the elevator.

Aaliyah sunk into the chair as the elevator doors closed behind them. The whole thing was out of her hands and there wasn’t much she could do. For the first time since she had the call from Dean back in Michigan, Aaliyah was completely useless.

Back in her room, Aaliyah saw the doctor standing in front of the lit light board that held the results of her CT and MRI scans.

“Ms. McGillcuttry,” the doctor spoke, turning around. “You got very lucky. I don’t know how it happened, but your spine should have been severed.”

“Give it to me straight, Doc,” Aaliyah cut in. “How long am I going to be stuck in a wheelchair.”

“That’s it, from what we’ve seen, your paralysis is a temporary thing,” he answered. “To answer you question, it could be a few days, or a few months. We can schedule you for physical rehab to help your body…”

Aaliyah waved her hand. “No, no rehab. I can do it on my own. Just … give me a pair of crutches and I’ll do it.”

“I would advise against it.”

She heard that before back in Michigan when a drunk wanted to leave. Most times they passed out before they got out the door. “I know you guys can’t stop me from doing anything unless you believe I’m mentally unstable. Even then, it’s a seventy two hour hold. So, unless there’s something more serious wrong with me…”

The doctor shook his head. “A couple ribs are either broken or cracked, nothing we can do about those. Serious bruising that’ll just take time to heal. Your serious injury is your lower back.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Aaliyah’s voice went quiet. Temporary paralysis, it didn’t sound that bad. But given what line of work she had gotten into recently, Aaliyah wasn’t sure it was good either.

The doctor and Madison saw themselves from the room as Aaliyah lowered the bed down as low as it went. She stared at it in the partial attempt of trying to figure out how to get herself up. She put both feet on the floor and with a deep breath, Aaliyah put both hands on the mattress and half pulled, half pushed herself to her feet. She expected to feel some of the cool tiles under her feet even through the socks, but there was nothing. Her feet were numb. Only thing that held her up was her weight against the bed.

Aaliyah fell to the floor as she released her weight from the bed. She couldn’t do this. There was no way she could. Curling up in a ball on the floor, Aaliyah stifled her crying, embarrassed she couldn’t even manage the simple task of getting onto a bed.

“Aaliyah? Aaliyah, what are you doing?”

She felt a touch on an arm after hearing a thump on the floor behind her. Turning her head, Aaliyah could make out Sam above her through the tears in her eyes. “I … I can’t… I tried.”

“You shoulda called.” Sam adjusted his body and offered a hand. “You know I’ll help.”

“I shouldn’t have to.” Aaliyah tightened herself into a ball. “I don’t wanna be a burden.”

“God, Aaliyah. After all that you did since we met, you honestly think you’re a burden?”

“Why not? I mean, before the crash, I was hardly a hunter. Even …” She caught herself when John’s name hit the tip of her tongue. “Even Dad questioned my … skills in the family business.” Aaliyah refused to look at Sam when she felt a hand on her arm.

“If he seriously questioned your skills, do you honestly think he would have let you stay and help?” Sam questioned. “Sure, Dad liked to keep his distance from other hunters, but for some reason he let you in. He and I don’t really see eye to eye, but there’s something about you. Dean told me about the college werewolf, and how you were back to class the next day and out running again in two weeks. That doesn’t sound like someone who’s willing to call it quits because you’re stuck in a wheelchair for a short time.”

Aaliyah laid there, the want to just give up and accept the fact she would be stuck unable to walk for the rest of her life just oozing through her body. But Sam did have a point. She hadn’t given up when faced with the werewolf or when she pushed through the pain and went back to class. She shifted so she could look up at Sam. “You think that?”

A smile pulled at Sam’s mouth. “I know so. Now, are you just going to lay there, or are you gonna get up?” He offered a hand to help.

“Let me try first.”

Aaliyah pushed herself up while using the bed as a support. Her face pulled into a wince when her body protested her movements as she managed to get to her knees. Aaliyah put her arms across the mattress and waited to catch her breath. Her ribs contested her movement when she focused on shifting one leg under her. Aaliyah wasn’t sure if it was the lack of feeling in her legs or her mind playing tricks on her when she brought her other leg under her. She closed her eyes and with a mental count to three, she pushed herself up and onto the bed with her arms.

She laid across the mattress, ribs crying out in pain as she regained her breath again. Aaliyah worked herself around to sit comfortably in the bed before daring to look at Sam to see a tease of a smile.

“I knew you could do it,” he told her. “I’ve got a few things to do, but I’ll send the nurse back in.” He turned for the door.

“Hey, Sam?” Aaliyah called after him. “Did you grab my things from the car earlier?”

He reached around the corner and picked something up off the floor in the hallway before revealing a duffel bag. “I packed a couple changes of clothes, the two journals, a couple lore books from Bobby, and some basic hygiene stuff. Bobby’s suggestion. He also suggested make up…”

“But you know nothing about it. Don’t worry about, Sam.” Aaliyah accepted the duffel from him. “There’s no really here I need to make myself look cute for.”

She glanced around the room and found the menu Madison promised on the bed table as Sam saw himself from the room. A few minutes later, Aaliyah swore she heard yelling from down the hall. Grumbling to herself, Aaliyah worked herself off the bed with a bit more success than before. She wheeled herself out of the room even before she got settled and raced around to John’s room.

“It’s the same selfish obsession,” Sam yelled.

“Come on, guys,” Aaliyah shouted. “Don’t do this.” She narrowed her eyes, as if there was someone else there who spoke with her.

“I thought it was yours as well,” John said. “This demon killed your mother and your girlfriend. You begged me to be part of the hunt. If you had killed it when you had the chance…”

“It was possessing you, Dad,” Sam countered. “I would have killed you.”

“Yeah, and your brother would be awake and your sister would be able to walk.”

“Shut up, guys,” Aaliyah cut in, pushing herself into the room.

“Go to hell,” Sam cursed at his father.

“I should never have taken you along,” John told Sam. “I knew it was a mistake. I knew …”

The glass of water on the bed table went flying to the floor. Aaliyah shared a look between John and Sam before noise happened out in the hallway. She chased after Sam when he ducked out to find the source of the noise. He stopped at the door that led into Dean’s room where nurses and doctors were attempting to revive him. Aaliyah’s stomach dropped as the team fought to save Dean. Guilt seeped in when the nurse side of her mind warred with her hunter side when she wanted to help. Finally, a nurse announced there was a pulse and the team settled back.

Aaliyah glanced around when a shiver went down her back. She swore she heard a faint whisper of ‘don’t worry…’ “Come on, Sam,” she told him. “Let’s get back to Dad.” Aaliyah maneuvered herself around and down the hall to John’s room. “I swear I felt something back there,” she mentioned when she rolled into the room.

“What do you mean ‘you felt something’?” John questioned, anger rising in his voice.

“Meaning it felt like Dean,” Aaliyah told him, trying to keep her voice calm. “Like he was just outta eyesight. You think it’s possible?” She glanced between John and Sam. “Think his spirit’s still here?”

“Anything’s possible,” the anger in John’s voice disappeared.

“Well, there’s one way to find out,” Sam said before turning for the door.

“Wait, where you going?” Aaliyah asked, spinning to track Sam.

“To pick something up.”

“Sam, wait,” John called. “I promise I won’t hunt the demon. Not until I know Dean’s okay.”

Aaliyah held in a noise that would have sounded her disbelief before she started for the door.

“Aaliyah, wait a sec,” John requested.

She stopped and turned back to face him. “What’s up?”

“I want to apologize.”

“Wait, hang on. I wanna record this.” Aaliyah padded her body down in her bad attempt of making a joke.

“Aaliyah, please. I remember you from college and taking out that werewolf.” John glanced to the hallway. “How you were nearly killed by it. When I saw you outside the post office … There was something about you. Like you’ve taken to hunting in a way I hadn’t thought you would.”

“Ms. McGullcuttry?” a nurse asked from the door way. “The doctor would like a word with you.”

[addictionrecoveryassistance]

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