#AHHHH MY FIRST TUMBLR FIC

[hwajin]

☆°. — 2024; in fics !!

since the year is coming to an end (and spotify wrapped finally came out) i wanted to make a short, personal tumblr wrapped, shouting out my fav fics i've read this year; to both recap AND animate other ppl to read them as well!! it's not a ton, but it's the fics that stayed with me the most <3

one shots

☆ ; 22 strokes ; @cb97percent || MYYY fav piece of short erotic literature this year. i've grown out of reading pure smut/ porn without plot and i get soo bored scrolling the smut tags lately, but god THIS was absolute perfection. personally, for me, good smut is when i'm reading more than just nasty fucking; and this definitely delivered. i also remember the visuals so well, like the first sentence i read i was instantly pulled into the same view i had when i first read it!! 10/10 would reread it a million times and not get bored!!!

☆ ; starry night ; @astraystayyh || AHHHH i remembered the feeling i had while i read this INSTANTLY like it catapulted me right back!!! like this is JUST the romantic shit i LOVE and yearn and long for, and reading it tore my heart APART i loved it so so much omg. i kept remembering this one shot from time to time when i visited museums OR looked at my starry night print above my bed!! i need to reread this fully next time i see a van gogh hehe

☆ ; wherever you are ; @hyunverse || god i remember this hurting me just in the right places and then flicking my heart back again. friends to lovers will always be my fav genre of anything EVER but the little twist added to this made this fic SOOO unique and fun?? like the way it's written in parts i enjoyed SO much, the continuous timeline of them growing up together, the writingggg??? this one shot inspired me to a fic of my own (which i've never finished </3) and i feel like that says enough about how much it affected me 🫶🫶

☆ ; the snow falls apart, we fall apart ; @/astraystayyh || i sobbed over this one. SO so much. the time where 'long for you' came out was so crazy because everyone wrote their hearts out and this was amongst my favourites i've read. the visuals are so impressive because i (once again) remember this one shot so vividly before my inner eye, like i remember laying in bed and reading this, close to tears and everything. the longing and unsureness and the unspoken love in this has haunted me for soooo long it all came right back when i saw this fic in my reblogs. i wanna reread it so bad actually especially since it's getting so cold and grey now 😭

serieses

☆ ; super bored ; @straywrds || okay. OKAY. mari, you're already fucking know what i'm about to say because i am annOYING when it comes to this series; but it is, no lying, the best i have ever read. if this was a full on novel i wouldn't even question it a second, and it would be no doubt one of my favourites. when i scrolled through my reblogs to check what fanfictions had struck with me i already knew super bored would be included because it would have been ILLEGAL not to. it was also the only piece i knew by heart, with no need of rereading a first sentence to remember the feeling i had when i first discovered it; i only need a quick glance at blue hydrangeas and frogs for the feelings to come back. or when i think of paris. or when i listen to this and this song (je l'aime à mourir was my most listened to song this year... like hello). like this piece has struck me SO incredibly deep and i so so hope that you know that!! (i doubt that you don't.... i was and still am in your asks about it like a leech jfjejd) like i truly and genuinely don't believe that there's another reader who loves super bored as much as me, the way my throat formed a clump when i skimmed over the tags i wrote!!! i miss the universe so so much, i hope (without any intended pressure, of course) that you get the time and motivation to finish it at some point, even if it's in 10 years time!!! after yapping so much i wanted to truly thank you for writing and sharing this piece with us; i hold it dear to my heart, every single day <3

[lumilovessmut]

Spring Heat - Zhongli x Traveller!FemReader

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Credits : @seofim on Twitter

TW: Breeding, creampie, penetration, mentions of pregnancy, established relationship.

A/n: sorry this is short, will try make more quality content.

✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.

All that could be heard is skin slapping against skin, your pretty and pathetic moans and whimpers and his godly groans. Zhongli your husband being part dragon does nothing but bring trouble to you in spring. His relentless thrusts and you gushing around him makes his head go in a frenzy and your scent tickled his nose, he wanted to breed you, wanted to start a family with you.

"Ahhhh- y/n you feel so good, so good. My good girl and pretty and obedient baby, I wanna make you a mommy can I pretty please, I will make sure I be a good husband and a good dad, can I? Can I please...." whatever Zhongli was telling nothing went into your small head, too fucked out on cock and all you heard was breed. Zhongli suddenly halted his moments, "baby look at me, I SAID LOOK AT ME! If I am going to breed you, I need your consent baby, think and tell otherwise I am ready to wait for you." Your fogged up mind slowly clearing. "Is it fine, with you?" You asked in a quiet voice. "Yes darling, whatever you want is what I want"," Then can I have your babies?" You could feel his cock throb inside of you. "Of course my love, I will make sure that when you leave this bed there will be a child in you." He said while suddenly thrusting into you.

You guys had been going at it for 6 hours, archons only knew how many times you came. He came inside you again and again, the sheets were a mess. Almost all fluids were gone from your body, tears, your cum and his cum, drool.... Zhongli loved the look on your face, he has always wanted to start a family with and seeing families together when coming back from work did not help this thoughts in the slightest, it was spring festival, you and Zhongli had decided to go there, when he came home the sight of you made him go into heat. Wearing a simple turquoise and baby blue hanfu, watering the herbs on the kitchen window sill, the evening light falling on your face, and then you turned and saw him, a small smile unintentionally formed on your face upon seeing his arrival.

He sweared to himself and kissed your lips until they were swollen. "Zhongli- ahh tooo much can't anymore please I- you, ca-can't anymore..." "It's okay, darling, one more round just- fuck one last time, baby one last fat load and then we are done I beg you, fuck--" He released inside you once again unintentionally making you cum again, scratches littered his back and his baby hair stuck to his forehead.

He saw the bulge of your stomach, and rubbed it thinking just how swollen you will be once your and his child starts developing in there, he slowly and gently kissed your tummy then your eyes and then your lips, "darling sorry if I went a little hard on you, I am sure to take care of you and our child, don't worry for now rest peacefully I will clean you up." He carried you, with that you started drifting of to sleep but before you did you whispered with whatever strength was left, "I love Zhongli." He smiled and nuzzled in the crook of your neck, "I love you too, the both of you." That night Zhongli for sure knew a life was being created in you and he promised himself to protect the both you from any danger.

✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.✧°.

Hello all, this is my first ever post on tumblr! This is a fic from my Wattpad story.....you guys can follow me there also for more genshin impact stories!!!

Love you all!

[ahhrenata]

Hi!! Okay, so your dinluke art is the jumping off point for my interest in the pairing. I love how you draw them and always get so excited when it comes up in my timeline! Do you have some top favourite fics that you would recommend?

Hi!! Ahhhh that makes me happy that you’ve been intrigued by the dinluke! It was such a random pairing when i first saw it start popping up and i thought, let me just quick browse through the ao3 tags for fun and yeah… deep dived down that rabbit hole. I was hooked pretty quickly LOL There’s sooo many good fics and writers out there for the ship! You should definitely give the ao3 tag a browse. Not sure what preferences you have but as always, check the tags!

These are some of the first ones that pop into my head (these authors have other works for the pair you can check out too!)

Separate Ways and Worlds Apart by PepperPrints on ao3 (I think Separate Ways was one of the first dinluke fics I read and probably what made me fall in love with them so fast.)

I see you have a sword (I have one too) by lelex on ao3 (love the coparenting and saber training/sparring)

i give to you by @treescape on ao3 and tumblr (I’m currently making my way through their dinluke fics, they’re so cute and sweet 🧡)

His Beacon, His Harbor by annathaema (moony) on ao3 (also one of the first dinluke fics i read!)

If anyone has any recs for the ship, feel free to add them as well!! even i could use some more haha

[fangdokja]

Hey, this just me getting mind blocked right now. Haha. But, i just wanted to thank all the supporters, engagement, and followers thus far. You know who you are.

Actually, I’ve been wanting to practice sex scenes for a while now. I do have upcoming posts. Last part of Skin of the Saint is one with explicit sex will be posted TODAY. But I wouldn’t classify it as smut.

I don’t know. I don’t get turned on or aroused in literally anything besides my husband. So. Writing actual smut is a challenge. Actually, in writing and reading, if it’s not about my husband or God, I get very clinical in general. Hard to feel emotions of anything at all really.

My Christmas and New Years gifts for you guys also have sex stuff in it. Honestly don’t know if it’s good or not.

It’s really my first time releasing actual sex content in public. So yeah.

But anyways, I’m rambling because I know Tumblr loves sex. And porn to an extension. That’s an understatement. Tumblr loves it.

But my husband and God are really strict about me not allowing me to get into erotica.

So.

But I can write dark romance. Definitely. It’s what I’ve been doing.

So, I guess, I’m trying to think on stuff about how to incorporate smut practice (complete with both emotions + atmosphere + descriptions and more).

Without making it straight up erotica (dark romance can still have explicit sex scenes). So I thought of some upcoming fics:

Yandere! Serial Killers x Detective (?) Reader (novella)

Yandere! Fans x Playgirl (novelette)

When I looked up ideas for smut, I honestly never vibed nor liked the top stories that came up. Just felt unrealistic and shallow. And I am NOT allowed to write porn. So…

Yeah. It’s why I have to incorporate hardcore psychological content. And a common theme in all my works.

One of my main issues right now is that I can’t fricking think of how to write short form content. If you noticed I have a lot of slow burn sex.

It doesn’t feel right for fast burn sex, you know? But I think it’s just me, unlike my husband, I have like zero to low libido in general. I can honestly go without anything sexual.

ANYWAYS. I’m not sure on how to make short form content on sex. I don’t want it to just be porn or non sensical shallow smut. It’s not just about kinks like dumbification. Not only is it boring for me to write something without actual tension, but it doesn’t feel REAL.

“If I Can’t Have You” by Deathsdoll did really well in descriptions and suspenseful tension in Chapters 1 to 12. I didn’t like the rest, fell off for me. But the start is golden. Really good.

Not only is it non con but it has intense sex, but more than that, the “actual sexual and violence or death tension” is there.

So I’m trying to think on how to combine sex + psychological into short form stories. Most stories seen are just shallow sex or kinks or whatever. I won’t deny that they’re good at descriptions to a certain degree.

But, not my thing. To me, it’s just fantasies as usual. I like my work grounded on some realism or at least dystopian dark setting and themes.

For my writing style, I never write “Oh, they banged hallelujah.” Actually anything I write won’t feel right without the psychological aspect into it.

Most people are fine with turning off the brain and fantasizing or masturbating (have never done both), but me writing and even reading it? No.

To me, without the danger factor or some uncomfortable unsettling factor. Sex is just reproduction. Or biological processes. That’s honestly how I see it.

Anyways.

Sorry, I’m rambling. Before my husband, I was never interested in romance, much less sex actually lol.

Anyways. Again.

My issue is SHORT FORM SEXUAL CONTENT. Ahhhh. Without the burn, it doesn’t feel right. It feels wrong. I’m okay with fast burn romance but not fast burn sex. I can read about it.

Doesn’t mean I like it.

I am mind blocked in this aspect.

And honestly my husband is right. Again. I’m severely overthinking again. I should just talk to God and him, aahh.

Ok enough rambling….. back to upcoming books….

I guess you could say, this post is a thank you to all the supporters so far, and also my writing process. And future plans.

I haven’t posted anything explicitly sexual yet because I want to debut my first sex content for my gifts to you guys.

Both stories may stay dark romance or can even become erotic horror (a genre I’m also allowed to write) or become just inherently psychosexual as well. Not sure yet.

But the Forbidden Fruits is meant to combine taboo and psychological.

And yes. Both are reverse harem stories.

Or maybe you guys just want the short form content i’m brainstorming and trying to figure out.

Either way, your opinions and thoughts are welcomed.

[felkithecreator]

just found out you have a tumblr!! reach through the mist is the best zelda fanfic I've ever read and I love it so much. I first read it 2 years ago and have re-read it atleast once a month since! it holds a very special place in my heart and is low-key my favorite fanfic ever. thank you for writing this masterpiece!!!! <3

Omg omg thank you so much for your kind words <3 I'm really really glad to hear you like the fic so much!! Though I've barely updated this year (only twice, I'm so sorry, I'm desperately trying to get Chapter 20 out within the week so I can say I updated at least three times during 2024 lmao) T-T

Here's a bonus sneak peek while I desperately try to finish the chapter on time ahahaha (also bonus thank you to @ink-feathers-and-paper I saw your reblog and that shit is helping me out a lot thank you thank you thank you)

(I'm also working on Chapter 21 at the same time because ahhhh - I've been looking forward to it since forever)

Point is!! Thank you!! And if all goes well the next chapter will be out within the week :D

[vibratingskull]

Hello!!!! Hopefully this witn come off as annoying (idk when you posted the tranw stranded fic btw because Tumblr won't show me-)

But- I beg you, if it's okey, could you please write part 3 of what happens after they're rescued 😭😭??? You don't have to if you don't want to! But my heart it just- AHHHH

😭😭😭

I love it, I screamed, 😭😭

Idk how to end this 😭

It is not annoying at all dear anon, it is in fact flattering that you liked this silly story to desire it to continue! 🤗🤗🤗

Part 1 - Part 2

ThrawnxF!reader

Tags : Angst/hurt, abandonment, medical examination, semi-descriptive birth

“Your blood pressure is good and the blood test came back correct.” The droid says, praising you with its weird chanting voice.

The droid takes the blood pressure monitor off your arm as you remain silent, eyes focused on the ceiling. 

“We will do an ultrasound.” The medic comes to you, their datapad in hand.

Another medical examination…

Since you all embarked on Thrawn’s ISD, the Chimaera, Thrawn's first order of business was putting you and Thaishi in the medical bay, subjecting you to numerous medical examinations.

Clearly he didn’t trust in the Frog people medicine a lot, and now that you had access to modern medicine again he immediately forced you two to run a battery of tests. Blood tests, shots, weighting, fetal heart rates, glucose tests, ultrasounds, scanners... The whole nine yards.

Thaishi was absolutely terrified. She never saw any droids, never saw the white blouses of the medics, never got any shots, never saw all of this machinery beeping all around and she was thrown in this white sterile room suddenly, getting stripped down to have nodes of a cardiac monitor on her little chest, getting manipulated all around to get her vitals checked. You would have run to her to console her if you weren’t plugged in to so many monitors yourself! But Thrawn stepped in, entering the bay after his long shift he immediately got to embrace and comfort her, hugging her on his laps when she gots her shots. The little sweetheart never saw a medical needle before, even less have it piercing her skin. She cried and whined with big tears on her cheeks, begging her father to not let the droids or the weird humans touch her. 

Thrawn cradled her, soothed her patiently with his deep melodious voice, singing her a Cheuhn lullaby to dry her tears and took care to explain to her in detail every medical procedure that was happening for her to understand and calm down. He remained with her during the end of her examination, holding her little hand or keeping her on his lap.

Unfamiliar with Chiss vitals, the medics compiled every data and asked Thrawn’s opinion on the results, making sure Thaishi was healthy and wasn’t at risk with the new germs her organism never encountered before. 

The results were very comforting, she was strong and healthy, only a very mild-case of flu resulting from the encounter of the human germs, but her antibodies were already at work. The shots would do the rest.

So tired from having screamed and cried so much, Thaishi fell asleep in Thrawn’s arms, hugging him tightly, so he came to you with her in his arms, caressing her back tenderly. You were still examined, laying on the sterile bed. He took and squeezed your hand, sitting down next to you, listening to your own results.

The baby seemed healthy, they grew very well, maybe just a heartbeat a little weaker than the norm, but nothing alarming said the medic. After listing everything up, the medic put on their most magnificent brown noser smile and asked.

“So, do you want to know the gender?”

You looked into Thrawn’s eyes and shrugged. He nodded, understanding.

“We will keep the surprise.” He announced.

“Oh… Okay…” The medic responded, disappointed to not be the one bringing good news to their Grand Admiral.

Once an Empire’s dog, always an Empire’s dog…

“ Lady (Y/n) needs peace and quiet.” The chief medic said, looking darkly at his intern to keep them moving.

Thrawn nodded again, careful of your and your baby’s health. He remained with you for half an hour, squeezing your hand, caressing your forehead, kissing your cheek and speaking sweet nothing to you.

But you didn’t let yourself get charmed.

You knew very well where that attitude came from.

Soon…

Soon they will come to take your children away and Thrawn will let you go, leaving you to go back to the Rebellion and resume war between you two.

And your family will definitely disappear, torn apart across the universe.

You looked straight into his carmine eyes, with a harsh gaze, trying to convey your strong will.

You still haven't forgiven him.

He only looked at you back with even more tenderness and his caress became even more softer, his thumb caressing your cheek tenderly.

“Do not look at me like that.” He invited softly, “You stab my heart.”

“You know very well what you did!” You retorted lowly but harshly to not wake up Thaishi.

“I know Ch’acah. But I needed to come back.”

You only frowned and remained silent, too tired to start an argument.

“The medics told me the baby was healthy.” He continues with his soft melodious voice, “You take such good care of them, thank you.”

“The village’s healer helped a lot.” You recalled him.

“We have true medicine now. My team will take over, do not worry about anything.”

“I was not worried back at the village!” You retorted. “Everything went well for Thaishi!”

“Here nothing will escape us.” He closed the matter. “Sleep, Ch’acah. Build up your strength, the term is close.” 

He kissed your forehead a final time before going back to his shift, not before dropping Thaishi in her new bedroom for the night.

How many hours did he already spend on the Bridge? No matter because he was ready to go back on duty immediately.

You spend the evening alone, eating alone at the grand table of the Grand Admiral suite. The plates were rich and expensive, worthy of Thrawn’s standing, but it had no taste for you. You got to bed early,  only to turn and turn in the bed, never finding sleep. You pretended to be deeply asleep 5 hours later when Thrawn slid silently in the bedroom, sneaking under the covers to hug you tight like he used to…

And days let place to weeks, traveling through space towards the Empire’s territory. Closer and closer to the end of your life… Thrawn buries himself in his work, sparing little moments for you and your daughter, while you spend all your time with the Frog people like those four years of bliss, when your family was whole. You did not waste any time to be an annoyance to the Imperials, making their days difficult, loudly advocating for the community’s rights on the ship, negotiating more spaces on the Chimaera, more time in the enlisted mess hall, freedom to come and go anywhere you please on the ISD, so on and so forth… Even if you have to recognize, the treatment of the community was royal in contrast to what you feared.

But apparently welcoming and taking care of a Grand Admiral for four years gives some rights on his ISD. You’re not delusional, you know that if they were any other alien community they would have traveled in cells. But Thrawn  would have never accepted his hosts to be treated like animals�� So overall the Frog people have nothing to complain about, really.

That doesn’t prevent you from fighting for more to stick it up to those imperials.

And to their horror, you being Thrawn’s wife give your words weight and power here. A thing that seems to piss off Commodore Faro immensely.

She knows she is walking a thin  line with you, you may be a civilian but you are her Grand Admiral wife, she knows that if she says no too much you will go straight to Thrawn. So she does her best to mediate any situations to the best of her abilities.

It’s a shame she is an Imperial, she could do so much good in the Rebellion with her talents! But you know recruiting your husband’s officers will be a big no no! So you let her be.

Until you have another complaint to scream everywhere in the Chimaera!

So you actually rarely let her be.

To her utmost annoyance.

“The baby is fine.” The medic calls you back to reality. 

You blink, turning your head to the screen to observe your baby. You see them agitating themself inside your belly, giving little kicks and punches around.

“Do you want to listen to their heartbeat?” They ask.

You nod, putting on the headphones to listen to the little drum, beating rhythmically and you refrain from a sob.

What a wonderful sound…

The most wonderful music you ever heard with Thaishi’s laugh. You caress your tummy with your eyes glued to the screen to observe your sweetheart. The heartbeat is indeed weak, but you can feel it beat through your veins!

Your baby is determined to come into the world and meet you.

You know it!

“Can I get an ultrasound image?” You ask, trying to keep your voice stable. 

“I will send it immediately to the Grand Admiral.” The medic accepts.

You greet your teeth. You wanted the image for yourself, and share it with Thrawn later down the day. But they all tend to bypass you, only taking Thrawn’s desire and orders into account despite your pleas. ‘Are you sure the Grand Admiral would want this?’,’Grand Admiral Thrawn would never accept that!’, ‘I will ask Grand Admiral Thrawn’s opinion.’ and so on and so forth…

To them you may be their Grand Admiral wife but you’re also a lowly rebel and they have no qualms letting you know.

“We didn’t detect anything abnormal.” The medic announces, “You simply have a light iron deficiency. A slight change in your diet should mend your vertigo, no need to worry.”

“I am not worried.” You clap back, “Thrawn pushes me to come to the med bay at any signs of light weakness.”

“The Grand Admiral” He corrects, “... Simply wants to be sure his baby is healthy.”

You don’t like the emphasis on ‘his’.

“Well I know Our baby well, I knew nothing was wrong.” You retort.

You look black in each other's eyes in silence. 

Now you’re both pissed off.

“The images.” You order.

They sigh and shake their head.

“Right away…”

------------------------------------------

You stir your food with your fork.

This isn’t really good.

You lay down your fork and slouch on your seat, observing the mess hall reserved to the enlisted and ensign. There aren't a lot of people at this hour which is both a blessing and a curse. With so few people there are not many people to shoot you down with their gaze but you also cannot feel the lively and busy activity of a community, which is why you came here in the first place.

The frog people are not here anymore.

They have been disembarked on a planet of their choosing. You lost friends when Thaishi lost everything she ever knew. She hugged Lei really hard, refusing to let her go, her mother and you had to separate them. They both cried, refusing to say goodbye to their bestfriend. The Chiefs saluted you and Thrawn, thankful for letting them pursue their goal and having the opportunity to fly freely in the universe once again after a millenia. They shared a respectful handshake with Thrawn and pulled you into a hug, congratulating you again for Thaishi and the baby, promising to keep you in their hearts.

You would lie if you said you didn’t shed a tear as you saw them disappear on the planet surface, getting smaller and smaller as the Chimaera was flying away in space. Thaishi cried her eyes out and you had all the pain in the world to calm her down, hugging and cradling her.

You felt how the tension in the Chimaera’s crew suddenly lifted like a fog disappearing. 

Finally the weird alien community wasn't here to soil their precious Imperial ISD anymore!

You used to eat with them at noon in the enlisted mess hall, and now you’re all alone.

Without any friends and community on a ship with a crew that hates you, a busy husband and a dependant 4 year old child.

Busy… To not say outright absent.

Since you came inside the ISD Thrawn is consistently on the Bridge for long, long shifts. You only see him at noon one day out of 5 and feel him enter the bed past 3 or 4 a.m to rise back at 6 or 7 am. You're not dumb, you know he buries himself in his work to not face the fact that his family will soon not be anymore.

It was his idea to send your children to the Ascendancy,  and while he knows it in his heart to be the best solution it doesn’t alleviate the pain for all that.

So he works.

And works.

And works.

To the point that you feel like a single mother.

You sigh, massaging your temples when Karyn Faro appears in the mess hall, pissed off, holding Thaishi, in tears, by the hand.

“Lady (Y/n)!” She shouts, for everyone to hear.

“Thaishi!” You raise on your foot, “What happened, sweetheart? I thought you were sleeping already.”

Faro lets your daughter go and she sprints into your arms, burying her head in the crook of your neck.

“Your daughter entered the bridge!” Faro lets you know harshly, “This is not the place for a child!”

“I just wanted to see daaaaaaaaad…” Her little voice breaks down in terrible sobs. “I miss him!”

You hug her tight and caress her back soothingly.

“I hope it won’t happen again.” Faro bites.

“Or what?” You clap back, “What will you do? Throw her in a cell? She is 4 and the daughter of your Grand Admiral!”

She frowns harder and her nostrils flare and for a second you expect her to explode and scream her rage in your face and for everyone present to witness.

But she inhales and recovers her calm, speaking with a deadly cold voice.

“The Grand Admiral himself is asking you to make sure this incident does not happen ever again.”

She lets that sink in and you take the stab in your heart.

You look into each other’s eyes, angry and gauging the other down.

“I will speak with him about that.” You let her know.

“Dot that. In the meantime, keep an eye on your daughter, she could hurt herself roaming around the Chimaera like that. So many corners are treacherous…”

“Are you threatening my child?” You demand, ready to claw her throat, not believing what you’re hearing.

“I simply do not want to discover your precious child bleeding out in the machine's room.” She simply responds with a false smile.

She stands to attention and leaves you in the middle of the mess hall with your child in a mess.

You sigh. What a bitch.

You carry your daughter the best you can with your heavy pregnant belly to lay her down in her bed. She stopped crying but sniffs and sighs, her red eyes still wet with tears.

“I don’t like it here, mom…”

“What are you saying? You have a large bedroom just for you, you always complained you wanted your own space back at the village!” You try to make her see the good sides of the situation.

There aren't many, you admit…

Thrawn placed her in the bedroom next to the Grand Admiral suite, and you know in your heart he meant well. Thaishi complained so much to not have a bedroom for herself he thought she would be happy like that. And back where Lei and the other kids were here she could accommodate herself seeing her father less, but now she feels truly alone.

She sniffs loudly as you tuck her in her large, maybe too large bed, holding on to the covers.

“I miss Lei and everyone! Can’t we go back and take them back?” She pleads.

“No sweety.” You try to soothe her, “They resumed their nomad life. We do not know where they are now and we ourselves are heading towards our new home.”

“I liked the village!” She complains, “I don’t understand why we have to live on a ship!”

You caress a strand of hair out of her face tenderly.

“I know sweetheart. But you’ll see, you will meet a lot of children there, you’ll make a lot of new friends, go to school with a lot of kids, start a new life. Isn't it exciting?”

“Nooooooo…” She whines. “I liked how it was… And I don’t see dad anymore!”

“Didn’t you see him on the bridge?” You ask.

“I was immediately stopped by the adults.” She explains, “I called for dad but he didn’t even turn to me.” And she broke down crying again.

You lay next to her and hug your child tight, letting her wet your shirt with tears.

“Mum, I want to go home…” She cries,” Everyone is so mean here…”

You kiss the top of her head tenderly, pressing her against your chest, against your beating heart.

You didn’t tell her.

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell her that soon, once her sibling is born in less than three months, she will be sent away with them in the Ascendancy.

Never to see you or Thrawn again…

You start crying with her and you hug each other.

Mother and child alone in a cold bedroom on an hostile  imperial ISD, with the sole ending to be separated forever…

You end up sleeping with Thaishi in her bed, holding her tight in your arms. You don’t feel how someone comes inside the room to pull the covers back over Thaishi, kissing her cheek tenderly and lifting you up to carry you.

You wake up at the sensation of being cradled softly, only to meet white and a military plaque. You raise your head to see Thrawn, carrying you bridal style to your bedroom.

“Sleep, my sweet.” He softly orders, “You need to gather strength for the birth.”

“No.” You immediately step your food down, “No. We need to talk.”

He lowers his carmine gaze to you, but remains silent.

He enters the suite and heads towards the bedroom, only letting you go to lay you down your shared bed. As he rises back to go away you seize his arm immediately to force him to stay.

“No. You will not escape this conversation.” You warn.

He looks at your resolute gaze and sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed, fixing the wall. You both remain silent for a moment, not knowing how to start. You get a quick glance to the alarm clock, informing you it was 4 am already.

“Thrawn…” You sigh.

“I know.” He simply says, “Believe me, I know.”

“You didn’t even turn to her?” You ask, flabbergasted. “She just wanted to see her dad.”

“I know, Ch’acah.” He admits, lowering his head lightly, “But I walk a thin line. I cannot let the most minuscule slip off happen.”

“She cried for two hours for Maker’s sake!” You start to feel ire raising in your blood.

“If I let them see anything, you three could get hurt.” He explains, “I am held at gunpoint, if I show any weakness towards any of you two they will devour us all. Thaishi and the baby included.”

“Another reason to defect.” You remark coldly.

“We already had this discussion, Ch’acah.” He patiently says.

“I know…” 

But that doesn’t mean you accepted the situation for all that! You can only see the good he could do if he joined the Rebellion, all the lives he could save and improve…

“I need the Empire’s resources.” He continues almost to himself, “Even if I have to make the sacrifice of myself.”

“Right now you are sacrificing your daughter. We barely saw you last month, you stopped eating with us, you come back to the bedroom when everyone is sleeping and rise back earlier than everyone else. I feel so… We both feel abandoned.” 

He lowers his head to fix his hands with intertwined fingers. He murmurs something so low you cannot hear it.

“What did you say?”

“I cannot face you both.” He repeats.

You look at the back of his head, how hunched over he is, how… fragile he seems at this very moment.

“The pain is too great.” He lets out in a breath, “Seeing you reminds me of what I will have to leave behind. Work helps me to forget, to not suffer for a few hours…”

“Is that why you take so many shifts? To avoid us?” You ask with a nicer tone.

“Yes.” He admits, raising his back straight, “I am a coward… It was my idea.”

“You’re not a coward.” You say softly, “But you are making a mistake, do not drive your daughter away from you. Thaishi needs her father to guide her, to love her.” You take his shoulder and squeeze it, “Please, do not turn your back on us…Thrawn, we need you as much as the Ascendancy needs you. Why can’t you see it?”

Thrawn turns to you to meet your gaze. You see so many emotions flashing in his carmine gaze despite his aloof expression.

“Do not reject us…” You beg.

He takes both of your hands to kiss your knuckles tenderly, reveling in your presence.

“I am sorry.” He finally says, “I indeed made a mistake. I put myself before the needs of Thaishi and the baby.”

��Stay with us tomorrow morning.” You propose, “Faro is competent enough for you to take half a day for yourself…” You squeeze his hands.

“Will you forgive me?” He asks, pleading with his eyes rather than his tone.

“Will you spare more time for Thaishi?” You ask.

“Yes. I will also accompany you to each of your medical appointments. I will spare you more time.”

You put your forehead against his, breathing deeply.

“Thank you…” You sigh.

His hand comes caressing your cheek delicately, tilting your head to capture your lips in an infinitely tender kiss. One since a long time ago… 

He kisses you lightly, like you could break at any moment and you respond, relieved to have your husband back.

At least for the three last months…

He leans forward to kiss your pregnant belly reverently, caressing it with his large palms, murmuring sweet nothing to your unborn baby.

“Hello you, I am back, sweet thing.”

You cannot help but smile, caressing his hair as he talks to your baby for long minutes. He finally rises to kiss you chastly.

“Sleep, cheo vir. It is terribly late.”

“Will you stay?” You demand, worried.

“Yes. I will.” He promises.

You nod lightly, satisfied for the moment. Thrawn helps you out to put on your pajamas, take off your shoes, gently massaging your sore foot. You sneak under the covers as Thrawn leaves the suite, promising to come back immediately.

He actually comes back with Thaishi, sleeping soundly in his arms and he lays her down next to you, kissing her forehead. You caress the tummy of your daughter as Thrawn takes his shower and comes into bed, Thaishi between you both.

He takes her delicately in his large arms and hugs her tight, a hug that she gives back eagerly despite being asleep. You stay awake a little more to admire this wonderful scene, father and daughter, hugging each other at last…

When morning comes you are relieved and pleased to see Thrawn sitting in bed, caressing Thaishi’s back softly as she sleeps still. You extend your arm and caress his cheek with your knuckles and he turns his head to you, a light smile coming to grace his lips as he sees you, eyes pouring love for you.

“Good morning, Ch’acah.”

“Hi you…” You smile back.

This moment is peaceful and tender, your whole family reunited.

But you both know.

It cannot last…

--------------------------------------------------

You groan, holding the low of your back. Your spine is crushed and your baby is kicking and punching relentlessly, preventing you from sleeping correctly for the last two weeks. 

Your term is not now, you still have two months to wait so your child just decided to get feisty with you. You remember how stressed you were with Thaishi, she kicked so little you started to fear she died in your womb. What a relief you felt when you heard her first scream.

Your baby may have a weaker heart but they appear determined to fight to live, and right now they’re fighting you.

You rise from your bed, in pain, feeling like you are about to wet yourself with how squeezed your bladder is. You walk slowly with very little step when you receive a formidable kick in the stomach.

“Ouch!” You groan, “You sure are full of energy, little one.” You laugh through the pain.

You enter the living room of the Grand Admiral suite to discover Thrawn trying to correct Thaishi's terrible table manners, and she seems too happy to give him a hard time now that she has his attention. They both turn to you, Thaishi with her mouth full, and greet you.

“Welcome, Ch’acah.” Thrawn immediately stands up to meet you, “Did you sleep well tonight?”

You sniff and purse your lips in response.

“No. Your baby keeps kicking me around.”

He presses his large palm on your stomach, circling your shoulders with his other arm. He smiles lightly as he feels a hit against his palm.

“They are so vigorous.” He notes, pleased, “They seem to be in a rush to be born.”

“You don’t say!” You huff, “They punch me all to their heart content.”

 He kisses your cheek with a low purr.

“I thank you for going through all of this for our family.” He praises you, “You amaze me everyday.”

You gulp discreetly. A family fated to disappear, sooner than later now… But you both keep the act before Thaishi, to preserve her. When she is not sleeping in your bed with the both of you, Thrawn is holding you all night long to comfort you and dry your tears. 

But you cannot cry in front of your daughter.

Thrawn wanted to tell her, but you formerly forbade him. You wanted for her to live as peacefully and fully as she could, without a ticking time bomb over her head and an imminent sense of doom. You just wanted her to live like any normal little girl.

“Thaishi, do not take such large bites” Thrawn chastises her, “You will choke yourself, little one.”

She looks at him defiantly, pushing another bite in her already full mouth, making her look like a hamster. Thrawn sits back in front of her to teach her while you serve yourself some caff. You groan again, folding forward when another kick comes punching your rib, cutting your breath.

“Are you alright, Ch’acah?” Thrawn asks, ready to jump into action.

You smile painfully, gesturing to him that this is nothing out of the ordinary as you come to sit to enjoy a breakfast with your little family.

Thrawn already filled your plate with your favorite, pushing it to you, intimating you to eat something. You wince, not hungry in the slightest with your stomach so squeezed.

“Be reasonable.” He says softly but firmly.

“Be reasonable, mum!” Thaishi repeats with her mouth full of brioche, “Be reasonable!”

You wrinkle your nose, but accept nibbling at your food to appease him. He took your plates away once you ate half of your portion, satisfied.

But if you had listened to yourself you wouldn’t have eaten a quarter of it.

“I must go.” Thrawn announces, putting on his white jacket, “Do you need help to dress first, Ch’acah?”

“Already?” You say, disappointed.

For the last month he took care to be more present in your life, staying as late as possible in the morning, putting Thaishi to bed himself even if it was in the middle of one of his shifts, helping you bathe or take a shower even after a full, long day of work and massaging your foot and shoulders before bed.

Faro holds you personally responsible for that, you could feel her shooting you with her glare furiously, but Thrawn was still the Grand Admiral of the ship, still efficient and hard working, never slipping off… So she has nothing against you, factually.

But today he wants to go way earlier than your new routine.

“This area is infested, I want to oversee any possible combat” He explains.

You immediately tense up.

Infested by who? The Rebellion?

You are ready to make a scene to prevent him from going to fight your comrades but he immediately understands your weird gaze.

“Pirates, Ch'acah.” He lightly smiles, “They are numerous in this part.”

You immediately relax.

“Oh… Okay. Good luck, love.” 

He leans forward to capture your lips in a surprising demanding kiss, you remain unresponsive for a moment, taken by surprise by such eagerness.

The birth is near, he is on edge as you are even if he hides it well.

“Urk…You are disgusting” Thaishi complains mockingly.

Thrawn and you both laugh at her reaction and he comes to kiss her cheek to say goodbye.She circles his neck with her arms and squeezes him tight.

Once he leaves the room, she immediately turns back to the table to take another bite, already throwing out what he was trying to teach her. So you lightly slap her hand away.

“No, young lady. Finish your plate first.”

She sticks her tongue out but finishes her plate nonetheless. You take a sip of your caff, observing your blue jewel in silence as she eats eagerly. She is growing and starving all the time, you have difficulty holding her in your arms now.

But not Thrawn.

He can still lift her and carry her like she weighs nothing. 

You remain still as you drink your cup, not showing how your baby is literally demolishing you from the inside, punching hard in your stomach. But when you have the guard of Thaishi you refuse to show your pain, you must be a strong mother for her.

But those kicks are really strong and… painful.

“What do you want to play this morning?” You ask her.

“I won’t have lessons today?” She asks with sparkling eyes.

You tuts, shaking your finger.

“Do not dream too much, young lady. You will do your homework as every other day, but today you can play a bit first.”

 She sighs in response but appreciates the prospect of games before lessons.

----------------------------------------------

You are in so much pain. It feels like a tool gripped your stomach and twisted it in knots before pulling on it like it was trying to rip it off of your body. You greet your teeth as you pretend to make your doll walk on the make believe doll house in the suite. Too lost in her game, Thaishi is fully focused on the figurines in her hands, mediating a negotiation between a client and a market gardener. 

You hold your stomach, breathing deeply through your nose. You ate something bad for sure.

“Mom?” Your jewel asks.

“It’s alright, sweety. Just dizziness, it will pass.” You smile through the pain, refocusing on the game of your little girl, you wouldn’t want to trample on the nascent romance between her dolls for anything in the universe!

Your doll is about to join the negotiation for some samara fruits when the entire Chimaera trembles suddenly and an alarm starts blaring out. Thaishi yelps in surprise and fear, losing her balance. You catch her in your arms and you hold each other tight.

“What’s going on?” She asks terrified.

“Pirates, most probably.” You answer calmly, trying to keep our own anxiety at bay.

“Are we… Are we going to die?” She raises her eyes round in fear up to you.

She never knew battles or war, and always lived a peaceful life in the village. You look into her eyes, flashing memories of your battles against Thrawn.

How he used to win with such talent and brio each time!

“No. No sweety.” You soothe her, “Your father is leading the battle. That means we are going to win.” You caress her back, pulling her on your lap.

“I am scared!” She whines, snuggling against your breast.

You hear people running in the attending corridor, the battle alarm still screaming in the loudspeakers. They are all rushing to battle.

“Thaishi, look at me.” You say authoritatively.

She looks up to you again with questions at the sudden change of tone, but listening carefully to you.

“Your father is the Grand Admiral Thrawn. Unbeaten and invincible.” You expose clearly.

She is way too young to know about all of that, no use to go into details, just enough to reassure her, “He is the tactical genius of this generation. There is no safer place in the Universe but his side. Do you understand me?”

You bite the inner of your cheek at how the humiliation you suffered at his hand, how many times you had to flee the battlefield to escape death and destruction. The long hours spent forming a new strategy that could take him by surprise.

To no avail.

Despite all your and your comrades efforts, Thrawn never showed any weakness in battle and wiped out all your attempts at assassination. 

If one could win no matter the odds, it is him.

“Do you understand me, Thaishi?”

She slowly nods, hugging you tighter. You smile comfortingly to her face soaked with tears and hug her.

“You have nothing to fear, my sweet. Your father is here to protect us.”

A light explodes outside of your bay window, a missile you determine, illuminating the bedroom harshly. You raise on your feet immediately to lower the blinds and protect your daughter from that spectacle but you don’t even take two steps you fall down on the ground, holding your stomach.

You’re in so much pain! You feel your blood boiling and flewing furiously in your spasming muscles.

What is going on?

“Mum? MUM?!” Thaishi runs to you.

You feel another contraction spasming your entire body and you gasp, all your air kicked out of your lungs.

“Mummy! Mummy!” She shouts, powerless, kneeling next to you.

She suddenly turns her head and jumps on her little feet and runs out of the room.

You’re in too much pain to just hear the battle outside or the commotion in the corridors. You bite your lower lips, drawing blood, curling over yourself pathetically on the carpet of the large bedroom when someone bursts inside the room.

You are suddenly being lifted up in the air and you cannot help a scream of pain in response. All your southern muscles are contracting and convulsing while you feel a wet and warm sensation spreading along your thighs, soiling your undergarment and dress.

Did your water…?

But it is too soon!

Way too soon!

The unknown officer, soldier or ensign is speeding in the corridors with you in their arms. Your baby had to come in the middle of a battle! 

When Thrawn is away.

They finally reach the med bay and enter without consideration for the other patient, shouting that the Grand Admiral’s wife was twisting in pain on the ground. You are being laid down on a bed as carefully as they can, a medic and a droid arriving at your side immediately.

“Her water broke.” The medic calmly says, “Let’s place her in the operation room.”

You wriggle on the mattress, each heartbeat getting more and more painful.

Your bed is pushed in a white, sterile room and someone transfuse you with something.

“Thrawn…” You gasp, “Where is Thrawn…”

“He is leading the battle, lady (F/n).” They coldly announce.

Where is everyone?

Why are you alone?

With Thaishi, Thrawn and all your friends were here to support you.

But today you are alone… In a cold room with droids and machines and imperials

Where did all of your life go?

You scream again as a new contraction stops all your thoughts. The medic chief enter the room, seemingly pissed off.

“What do you mean her water broke? The term is two months away!” He harshly announces.

“Labour started chief, she is fully dilated and the contractions get closer and closer.” Someone responds.

He hisses but takes his place as you wince in pain.

“Prepare an incubator! The baby is premature at 28 weeks, they will need intense care.” 

You close your eyes shut as a new wave of pain washes over you. 

“Thrawn! Where is Thrawn!” You demand.

“He cannot make it to you, lady (F/n). You will need to do it on your own.”

As to punctuate his words, the Chimaera is shaken again. The bed trembles, worsening your pain. You feel your sweat soaking your bed and dress.

It is so uncomfortable!

“Prepare everything, they may needs respiratory assistance, surfactant in an intubation tube. Their liver and kidneys aren’t formed yet. Keep an eye on the vitals and stand ready. Lady (F/n) you can push.”

“No! No, I want Thrawn!” You cry, “Where is he? He must be here!I can’t do it without-”

Someone slides their hands in yours and squeezes it tight and a female voice rises.

“He is fighting to keep us all alive. You must be strong and do it without him. We are all here to take care of your child, focus on your labor.”

You squeeze back her hand, the pain is so great the flashing white lights blind you completely, preventing you from seeing her face.

“We are all here for you right now!” She assesses.

You feel the tools pulling on your organs again, signaling you that you simply cannot wait for your husband to magically appear in the room and support you.

You’ll have to pass this trial alone.

So you start pushing, greeting your teeth and pressing her hand with yours with all your strength. You curse as the morphine is taking its sweet time to kick in, but you have no time! Your baby is coming now!

You scream as you push, feeling like your organs get tearing apparts in millions of shreds.

Maker, you forgot how hard it was…

You feel her circle your shoulders to help soothe you as you push.

“We have a head!” The medic announces, “Keep pushing, Lady. One last time!” 

You dig your nails in the metal bar you are holding and the soft hand of the woman supporting you and push hard!

“Come on!” She encourages?

You keep pushing and pushing, pain ravaging your inside.

Until you feel a mass passing through your inner muscles. And suddenly…

Silence.

No liberating scream of a baby.

Just dead… silence.

“Install the respiratory assistance and put them in the incubator, we must stabilize their temperature.” The chief orders around.

You feel dizzy and weak but still have the sense that something went wrong.

“My baby…” You moan, “Give me my baby…”

“They must go into intensive care immediately. Your job is to rest and prepare to take care of a premature baby.”

Your bust fall with a ‘oof’ on the bed, too tired to do anything anymore.

“Good job!” The woman congratulates you.

You turn your head lazily to her, and open your eyes round in surprise.

“Commodore Faro?” You ask, bewildered.

She nods in response.

“What are you doing here?” you ask at the end of your rope.

“I was running to the bridge when your daughter burst out the Suite in tears, screaming at the top of her lungs that you fell. I simply carried you here.” She explains.

You lose all your words.

She hates you.

Why would she do that? Why would she help you?

“But…” You shake your head, weak with the loss of blood.

“Grand Admiral Thrawn would have killed me if I turned my back on you at that moment.” She simply explains. “He could forgive me for not reaching the bridge for a battle, but not for me not helping you, especially when you are giving birth.”

“It… It doesn’t make any sense…” You insist.

“Because you’re weak and dizzy.” She finishes.

“Thaishi… Where is my daughter!?” You have a flash of clarity in your fogged mind.

“I ordered an officer to take care of her in the the Grand Admiral suite. She is well.”

“Go get her…” You order weakly, “She must be so worried I left her, my jewel… My daughter…”

She prevents you from trying to stand up, pushing you back gently against the bed.

“I’ll ring the officer, do not worry. I-”

She is shushed by the door opening.

Thrawn enters, immediately spotting you. He places himself at your side and takes your hand, caressing a strand of hair out of your face.

“Ch’acah. How are you?”

“Tired… The baby…”

“Is in intensive care, I know. I am sorry I was not here, my love. I failed you.”

“My baby…” You feel tears coming back, “They didn’t let me hold my baby… I want them in my arms…”

He presses his forehead against your, caressing your cheek tenderly.

“Be patient my love. The medics are taking care of them.”

He rises back up and turns to Faro. She stands to attention immediately.

“I thank you, Commodore Faro.” He ceremoniously says, “Thanks to you, my wife and baby are safe.”

“Of course, Grand Admiral.” She respectfully bows her head, “How did the battle go?”

“Very well. Some resistances that held on against us, but we rose on top.”

“As always with you, Grand Admiral. I will take my shift if you don’t need me anymore.”

“Of course, Commodore.”

They nod to each other and she leaves. Thrawn turns back to you and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Ch’acah.” he starts, “You must have been scared.”

You wipe your tears off, sniffing.

“I want my baby.” You insist weakly.

“I want to see them too.” He assures you gently but seriously, “But we cannot right now. Rest a little, it was a lot of emotions for you.”

“Stay with me!” You demand, afraid he would leave you now.

“Of course. I left the bridge to my officers and Faro will take command for now. I can remain with you.”

---------------------------------------------

Your eyes are fixed on your baby inside her incubator.

Your sweet little girl.

Your little warrior.

Nothing is yet won, so much could still go wrong. But she is taken care of. Thaishi is pressed to the incubator, observing her little sister intently, absolutely hypnotized by the blue baby sleeping soundly.

“Do not poke the incubator, sweety. Let your sister rest.” You say, laying in your bed.

You’re still in the med bay in a private room. You refused to sleep away from your premature baby. You wanted to be here at any signs of illness or bad reaction, to jump into action at any bad signs. Besides, you have been judged too weak to leave yet.

Thaishi stops poking and jumps in the bed to slide between your arms, snuggling against you.

“What’s her name again?” She asks.

“Thauko.” You say again with a little smile.

“Thauko…” She repeats lowly, “Why is she in that weird crib?”

“She is premature, she needs a lot of care.”

“Premature?” 

“She is born too soon, her development hasn’t stopped yet.”

“Is that… Bad?” She asks with her years old words.

“Yes… But we have skillful medics and she is a Chiss, like you. She will survive.” You say assertively.

You both remain silent, eyes fixed on the incubator, listening to all the machinery helping your baby staying alive. You sigh and bury your nose in Thaishi’s hair to inhale her scent for comfort.

That’s when Thrawn decided to enter your room.

“Daddy!” Thaishi shoots, already forgetting your demand to remain quiet for the baby.

“Thaishi, my little one.” He takes her in his arms, “Did you come to visit your little sister?”

She puts and winces, displeased.

“Yes, but she doesn’t move, she only sleeps! That’s so boring!” 

He chuckles lightly in response.

“It is normal, she needs to build her strength to grow and heal.”

“Well it’s boring!” She insists.

He comes to the incubator, passing a hand through one of the designated holes to gently, tenderly caress the tummy of his baby. You observe him observing his daughter with so much love in his gaze. She wriggles at the warm sensation of his large palm on her body, her tiny, tiny hand trying to seize one of his fingers to keep him here.

“Hello, Thauko.” He salutes her respectfully, like he would an adult. “My brave and courageous daughter.” He says almost to himself.

“Our little warrior.” You add with a sad smile.

“Indeed.” He hums approvingly.

You cried in his arms, terrified for the life of your daughter. But he remained assertive that she would survive, that you will all surpass that trial together. He was so adamant you had no choice but to get convinced that she would make it, no matter the odds.

But that is how he operates. Always choosing hope no matter what.

The feeble baby seems to burp, trembling in the crib with tubes in her little nose.

How much would you give to be able to hold her against yourself, to hug her tight and shower her with love and warmth. 

But your human body isn’t warm enough for her, preferring Thrawn’s warmth. He delicately grazes her plump cheek with his knuckles, blue skin on blue skin.

You silently admire that scene.

Your husband giving love to both of your daughters, hugging one and caressing the other gently. He retracts his hand off the incubator to leave your baby at peace and his gaze travels to yours.

“They are coming.” He simply announces.

You shudder.

He needs not to precise who, you know very well who he is talking about.

But now?!

In this situation?!

Did he lose his mind?

“With a premature baby?!” You demand, digging your nails in the cover.

“They have been properly warned and prepared in consequence.” He continues, “They are en route.” 

You open your mouth to retort but Thaishi beats you to it.

“Who’s en route?”

Thrawn affirms his grip on her body and turns his gaze to her, deadly serious.

“The Chiss Ascendancy.” He explains, “They come to pick you up.”

She tilts her head slightly, not understanding.

“I thought we were heading towards an Empire?”

“Me and your mother. You and Thauko will go your own way.”

She remains silent for a second, like she failed to understand.

“...What?” She asks with a trembling voice.

You give Thrawn a black look, warning him to keep his mouth shut but he slightly shakes his head to you, telling you he made his decision. He comes to sit on your bed, keeping her in his arms.

“Thaishi, you and your sister will join the Chiss Ascendancy. You will grow there and become adults, form your own families and serve the Ascendancy at the best of your abilities. This is for your safety.”

“You are coming with us… Right?” She inquires.

“No, my jewel.” He informs her, “Me and your mother have unfinished business at the Empire. Dangerous business, improper for children so young. The Ascendancy will welcome you, raise you and educate you in civilized ways. You will join a new family and walk towards a brighter future that we could not give you here.”

Her little hand that held his sleeve fall down to her side, gawking.”

“You will… abandon us?” Her voice is toneless with incomprehension and fear.

You rise in a sitting position to hug her.

“No, my sweet, no. We pondered this situation, this is the best solution for your safety. Our… respective works could never permit us to meet your needs and offer you a stable family. You would only suffer.”

“But… But… I don’t want to go…” She insists

“We know, little one.” He continues, “And we do not want to let you go either. But your safety and well being is our ultimate priority, the best solution is to send you to the Ascendancy.”

“But… No… No!” She decides, shouting, “I don’t wanna go! I wanna stay!” She starts punching his arms but he easily seizes her little fists to stop her as she cries.

“This is for the best, Thaishi. You may not understand now, but once you grow you will accept and recognize our decision was for the best.” He asserts.

She wails and screams and cries, refusing to calm down.

He hugs her tight, preventing her from punching and hurting herself, his head resting on her own little head.

“I don’t wanna! I wanna stay! Why are you abandoning us!?”

You press yourself against her, both of you holding her, letting her express her frustration, anger and fear through her tears and whines.

Your heart bleeds at those odious sounds. You only want to hear her laughs and giggles, those sounds are just so painful to you.

“They are coming to bring you to a better future.” He gently insists, “You will understand one day.”

“I wanna stay with you!”

“Once an adult, you will be free to come back and meet us once again. We could talk longly about anything you so desire. But before that, you will remain safe in the Ascendancy.” He keeps talking with his melodious, soothing voice.

You all three remain in a tight hug, consoling Thaishi, knowing the scars on her heart will take years, i not decades to heal.

----------------------------------------------------

Your legs tremble, feeling like jello. Thaishi holds on to your hand like a buoy in the open sea. Thrawn remains stills next to you, his hands clasped behind his back as always.

Before you a large Corvette is slowly opening its ramp.

Thashi digs her nails in your flesh when the ramp hits the floor, revealing Chiss with hard gazes. They silently and haughtily descend to join you, like they own the place.

Thrawn takes a step forward, with a respectful and polite expression.

“Admiral Ar’alani, I hope your travel was safe and good.” He asks in Sy Bisti.

“Grand Admiral Thrawn.” She responds coldly, “It was uneventful, which is quite surprising. Where are they?”

You flinch, squeezing Thaishi’s hand in yours. Thrawn take a step to the side, designing you two to his fellow Chiss. She walks up to you assuredly, gauging you up and down.

“I assume you are the mother.” she continues in Sy Bisti.

By instinct you place yourself before Thaishi, feeling yourself trembling before that woman. Her gaze lazily falls on your daughter, observing her intently.

“What is your name?” She demands.

Thaishi hides behind your leg and you caress her head.

“Your name, child!” She insists harsher.

“Thaishi.” You interject, trying to appease her, “Her name is Thaishi.”

“Thaishi…” She repeats before turning towards Thrawn, “The Mitth will not appreciate that name.”

“I fail to see why?” He responds, tilting his head slightly.

“Of course you don’t.” She turns back to you and your child, “Thaishi of the Chiss, it is time for you to say your farewell and come with us!”

You feel your daughter flinching behind you, oressign herself tighter behind you.

“A moment…” You ask, kneeling to her.

The woman named Ar’alani breathes through her nose and joins Thrawn to speak with him in Cheuhn. Your level isn’t good enough to understand the discussion.

You look at Thaishi, checking the zipper of her coat was up.

“Are you ready?” You ask softly.

She shakes her head.

“No… I don’t wanna go.”

“I know, my sweet. But it is for the greater good. You’ll see, everyone will be like you there, you’ll make a lot of friends and have a lot of fun.” You try to smile at her.

“But you will not be with me.”

“Thauko will be with you. Take care of your little sister, you are the eldest, she will need you.”

She sniffs in response.

“Mom… Can’t I stay?” She tries to plead again.

“Oh my sweet, I don’t want you to go either. But you would never be in security with us.”

You take her in your arms.

“Mum…” She insists.

You look into her red eyes. You see she is trying really hard to be strong and assured but you feel how close she is to broke. You squeeze her in your arms, reveling one last time in her.

“I love you so, so much Thaishi. Never forget that, please.”

She buries her head in the crook of your neck.

“It is time.” Thrawn announces, coming closer to you.

He kneels to Thaishi, holding her cheeks in his large hands.

“Thaishi, be strong. Obey the adults and work hard, do not neglect your education and look over your younger sister.” He says assuredly, the last orders from a father to his child, “I love you.”

He hugs her and she hugs him back, circling his neck with her little arms. You look at them, refraining a sob. You raise your head as you hear the wheels of the incubator, you stand up and press your hands against the glass, observing your baby.

You rarely had the occasion to hold her in your arms, she so rarely got out of the incubator. You gently take her out and kisses her forehead tenderly. Thrawn come caressing her head delicately and kisses her cheek. You press her against you one last time and put her back inside the incubator.

“Let’s go.” Ar’alani says, taking Thaishi’s hand and pulling her towards the corvette.

The Human medic pushes the incubator to who you assume to be a Chiss medic that take it and roll it towards the ship. Thaishi nervously turns back to you, falling behind Ar’alani.

“Mum.” She calls.

You wave at her, trying your best to smile comfortingly, hiding the pain you feel deep inside you.

“Mum…” This time her voice cracks.

She pulls on her hand, freeing herself and runs back to you. You immediately lower yourself and embrace her. Ar’alani looks at her, flabbergasted.

“Thaishi.” You broke.

“Mum!” She cries. “Don’t let them take me! Mum!”

You squeeze her hard in your arms when you feel getting snatched away from you. Ar’alani stands back up, holding Thaishi in her arms and turns back to the ship.

“Mum! Dad!” Thaishi screams at the top of her lungs, extending her hands to you, “Dad!”

You feel Thrawn kneeling next to you, circling your shoulders, as much to comfort you as to prevent you from running after your children.

“Mum!”

You dig your nails in Thrawn’s flesh, fighting the urge to sprint after that Chiss woman and take back your daughters with your teeth and fists.

“MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!” You hear her final scream as the ramp closes back on them.

And then the Corvette takes off…

And disappears away.

And you break.

In a million pieces.

You scream, clawing at Thrawn that tries to keep you whole. You tear up his uniform in your pain, tearing his blue skin to blood.

But he holds on.

Embracing you in his large arms, caressing your hair, speaking sweet nothing in your ears.

But you are just deaf to his words.

And you cry.

Suddenly your fight for the Rebellion feels so insignificant, and you wish you would have gone with your children.

Thrawn opens your collar for you to breathe better as you wail, cradling you tenderly.

“Breath, Ch’acach.” He tries to calm you down, “They will be safe there, not harm will come to them. Breath.”

You sob and gasp, right in the middle of a panic attack. Thrawn caresses your cheek with the back of his hand, holding you close.

“Calm down, (Y/n). Calm down.” He keeps chanting lowly, only for your ears. “I am with you.”

Your mouth is open to swallow big bowls of air but they never reach your lungs, getting stuck in your throat.

“Today I am with you to catch you.” He continues gently.

But he wont be for long anymore… In less than a week you will reach the Empire's territories and he will let you go back to the Rebellion.

And you will be alone.

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo @germie2037

[xpurdyglambertx]

AHHHH! I'm so stoked to finally be able to show yall this!

I signed up for my first bang and happened to get paired up with a really special Fandom friend to me, Samanddean76 ! I did the art for her awesome story, "A Fistful of Sammy's" , AO3 link to her story here~

Without spoiling too much for you guys, imagine multiverse and multiple timelines with several Sams, Deans, all of them meeting, multiple ship pairings, and yummy smut! God, this story really has it all! Angst, drama, plot, fluff, joy, tragedy... It's easily one of my favorite fics I've read! That's what I tried to convey in the cover banner above! This banner and all the following art were done with various photo editing, drawing, and photoshop apps to achieve the desired look!

.

For chapter headers, I tried to do a photo representation of a sort of "chapter summary," highlighting the main focus of each chapter! I also made them cohesive with the cover art...

And then perhaps my favorite bits of art from this is the page breaks! They are just so aesthetically pleasing, tattoo worthy! I took important weapons from the show, and turned them into "pencil art" style sketches.

Since Tumblr only allows 10 photos per post, I had to put them in a collage. If you wanna see them in full scale, check them out on my AO3 Master Post, here!

And then last but not least, a link to the author's tumblr post here!

Go read this fic, guys! You won't regret it! Sal is an amazing author! I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to work with her in this bang! My first bang experience was amazing because of her!

@wipbigbang @samanddean76

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

What shall be the new name for the Drarry ship?

I did a post about this earlier, and I got quite many good answers in my opinion (because my suggestions were all shite I wrote them real quickly)! So I thought that a poll would be great to finally settle it. Here’s a list first:

• Doubleseeker They’re both seekers, so uh that’s that I guess, and I think it’s an interesting take)

• Dragonfruit (I have no idea where fruit came from but I love it, and we agreed that it would be great in Drarry fics so that whenever you read a scene where there’s a lot of the sexual tension that Drarry is famous for, you just go “The gays are being dragonfruity again” 💀🤚😭)

• Snakecharmer (Ahhhh I love this one ✨ The snake is Draco, and Harry is a Parseltongue so he’s the charmer! I seriously can’t get over how good this is!)

• Silversnitch (This one is all mine, I figured that I��d make a play of words on Golden Snitch and yk, Draco’s hair is silvery so… Silversnitch!)

• Pureheart (Draco is a pureblood as we all know so here’s my take on it!)

• Chosenblood (The Chosen One + Pureblood)

• Dragonseeker (Simple, but it totally works, doesn’t it?)

So. Here it is!

Vote honestly! And also, you’re all free to use any of these at anytime, and please please come up with your own suggestions! It’ll be so cool! Try spreading the names you like in tags here on Tumblr and so on, and see where it gets you!

I can’t wait for results! ❤️

[prince-liest]

Omg, I just wanted to say I ADORE your characterization of Al and Vox! I don't even have the words to express how much I love reading your stuff, especially the Anon responses you post on here. The behind the scenes thoughts are literally my food, lifesource, its so good when people not only write characters IN CHARACTER, but also include stuff about their analysis/understanding of the character too.. I'm literally obsessed with breaking down characters and yk, cracking their chrome domes open to see how they work (which admittedly, I am not the best at <_< but I love reading them). Just wanted to say how much I love your writing. I had maybe 2 questions, please don't feel pressured to answer them :>

What in your mind (in reference to the 66.6 fics) would motivate Alastor to let Val get close to him in the first place? Or was that more you picking these two characters up by the scruff of their necks and plopping them into a hypothetical scenario to explore their character and write some fun intimate thingsTM?

What do you think of the dynamic of Vox and Al vs something like Lucifer and Al? Personally I've noticed that something Alastor craves, behind the mask of his static smiling persona, is attention. He's (at least how I saw it) usually peeved when people don't care about his absence, and seems especially bothered by the King of Hell refusing to really acknowledge him, so he goes out of his way to push Lucifers buttons (like calling himself a father figure to Charlie, IN FRONT OF HER ACTUAL FATHER LOL) whereas with Vox, Vox is literally CONSTANTLY thinking about Alastor. Man literally interrupted his regular TV program to do a segment about how much he totally didn't at ALL care about Alastors dissapearance or the fact that he returned (suree buddy). So Alastor can have more fun with him and annoy him by ignoring and messing with him on purpose.

ty if you do respond to this, sorry if it was hard to understand, sometimes I forget how to put the thoughts in my brain into coherent words!

Ahhhh, thank you very much, anon! I'm especially happy that you're enjoying my commentary on Tumblr, haha - I spent a while on Twitter because that's where all the fandom zines I was in were being hosted, but nothing beats Tumblr for giving me a nigh-unlimited word count and a captive audience for my rambling! >:D <3 I'm back to cocooning myself on the OG hell site.

Thank you for this ask, it really brightened my day! :D

As for your questions:

1. I'm assuming that was a typo and that you mean Vox (but in case you did mean Val: that was just a funny accident of him walking by the room! Alastor wasn't paying enough attention until it was too late), and to that I say:

I think Alastor allows Vox to take a go at him in canon because he finds Vox's obsession with him to be entertaining, but also because Alastor is kind of a narcissist and that same obsession massively feeds his ego, especially in a political climate that otherwise forgot about Alastor. Vox's whole "Who gives a shit about Alastor coming back?! Haha, now let me have a public meltdown and short out power to the whole city about it! Oh, fuck, why is he back, though?? Can we send a spy in to find out??" is exactly the reaction that Alastor wants every time he mentions his mysterious absence and gets brushed off.

At the same time, Alastor doesn't seem to register Vox as a sincere and genuine threat. He's a big enough fish in the Pride Ring pond that his obsession with Alastor is gratifying, but Alastor's self-absorption also doesn't really allow him to treat Vox as a threat tier above "annoying in a funny way, and also television is stupid." (Perhaps this will change in season 2... :eyes: (or perhaps Alastor will get Even Worse) (please god let him get even worse))

So those two things in combination make Vox the perfect candidate for Alastor to experiment with while maintaining his ego and not feeling particularly threatened. Despite Vox's Safeword 101 talk, Alastor would never put stock into that system with Vox unless he was certain that he himself would be able to back up a 'no' with overwhelming force. Him even considering safewords in the Live On Air! series is less for his own sake and more a politesse he offers on Vox's request to warn Vox to slow the fuck down before Alastor tries to put his insides on the outside.

2. And in direct contrast, we have Lucifer...

... Who Alastor obviously actually cares quite a bit about, because he's a whole nother power tier from both Vox and Alastor, and furthermore and possibly even more importantly, a credible threat to Alastor's relationships and standing in the hotel. I think a lot of discussion I see about Alastor prodding Lucifer seems to talk about how quickly he got annoyed about Lucifer's comments, but that misses the fact that he was pissed off before Lucifer even showed up. He got pissy the moment he saw the welcome sign, actually! And I wager that he was narratively absent for the scene where Charlie actually calls Lucifer because he would have done his best to manipulate her out of doing so had be been there.

And given that the two clearly haven't met before (though obviously Alastor knows of Lucifer - and hates that the inverse isn't true, hah), it's not 100% clear exactly why he's immediately so annoyed, but in my personal view of things and barring something like "he's projecting onto Lucifer because his contract is with Lilith," I think that what we know of Alastor's personality points most strongly to "he liked being the hotel's benefactor and sees it as His Project, and doesn't like the idea that Charlie called daddy for something that she thought mysterious, powerful Alastor couldn't handle." He distracts a lot with obviously-goading comments about practically being Charlie's dad in his duet with Lucifer, but underneath that he puts a lot of emphasis on the work he's done for the hotel and the fact that he's been supporting Charlie and the hotel from the start, so why the fuck is this deadbeat asshole suddenly turning up?!

Tl;dr: Charlie missed her insight roll on Alastor's personal investments and he's sooooo offended - and taking it out on Lucifer!

I think one of my favorite things about both Lucifer and Alastor is that they both sooo obviously belong in the Pride Ring, hahaha.

[gimmemore14]

💖💐💐✨❤️❤️❤️❤️✨💐💐💖

these are for u. just wanted to tell u that you’re fics are amazing~ i recently just got back into dcu and your bitw fic was the first that was recommended to me and then i had to read ur other works too. hope u update soon, no rush i’m just really hyped up on this newest hyper-fixation. pls pls pls let me know if u have any fic recs or tumblrs u think i should follow i would really appreciate it. i’m arting again and i wanna draw something for ur fic, but i wanted to check first to make sure it was okay to send u fanart and ask how u usually get it sent to you

🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜

Recommended?!? Ahhhh! That makes me feel good, I’m glad you’re enjoying it!! Man I also wanna update soon too! It’s slow going, BUT it IS going hahahah

I would love it if you drew something for/from my fic, honestly it’s the highest compliment!!! Makes me kick my feet up and giggle 😂 I would encourage you to post it on here and tag me in it so not only can I see but also so others can too! If you aren’t comfortable doing that I’d still love if you private message me a drawing or if you just wanted to talk too! I don’t bite unless asked to hahah

Oooo Recs, I got a LOT of those, I’ll try to contain myself though:

@thesubtextis —conquered by love

Ongoing, one of my absolute favorites, it balances Slade being super menacing but still oddly kind/considerate despite the terrible circumstances and monster he must be

@caroaimezoe —Rude

I LOVE fics where Bruce is absolutely abnormal and unhinged and possessive about Dick!!

@zeroducks-2 —Sladick connected fics

Ongoing, Sladick connected fics my beloved 😭❤️ love basically everything they write, SUCH good dynamics

@hii-theree —Rough callouses and sharp claws

Ongoing, nicer guy than usual Slade, hes still kinda a dick of course and doesn’t know Dick is Nightwing during a hostage situation 🔥

@withthekeyisking-writer —A loaded god complex

The emotion and character work is PEAK in this plus their other works are dark and smutty and great

@green-eyedfirework —virtue is truest nobility

Too many good ones to choose tbh, also posts lots of awesome snippets on here that can lead to some fun plot bunnies

@skalidra —feel it in my bones

Ongoing, bad guys win scenario that hits every time (they have SO many great ones though, sladick and jaydick and sladjay and sladickjay galore)

@wingdingery —all of the fire I’ve swallowed

Dick is self sacrificing and clever but oblivious, Slade is arrogant and scheming and unexpectantly merciful, *chefs kiss*

@everydarkcorner —Bitch and moan and bite down into me (one ongoing and one completed)

Love their all their writing, can’t go wrong, their Slade is one of my favorites to read, possessive and obsessive and deliciously dark

[glmfic]

a love letter & I have BIG news

Hello my lovelies. It is I, the writer of Ghost Hunters, Lies, & Money. I have been writing this fic since 2017 (!!!) Eighteen years as of this March!!!

This is something really amazing to me when I reflect on it. I am a perfectionist, which means—as I’ve learned—a  procrastinator. To know that I have managed to commit to something so long and dedicatedly…it means soooo much, and truly it is because of love. My love for the cast of characters the incredible Fuyumi Ono has created in Ghost Hunt, and the love of my loyal readers. It’s emotional to feel such a strong love of something, and then get to share in it with such a special group of people—what a gift! Ah, I’m getting choked up…brb…

Okay, this might be coming across kind of sentimental and thus lead you to think I’m about to say this is the end of my writing on Ghost Hunters, Lies, & Money—but actually it’s the opposite!! I am here, ahead of my BIG announcement, after a year of not posting, to hard core reaffirm my dedication to GLM. In fact it is because of my BIG announcement that I am even more focused on GLM. So what is this BIG announcement…?

[drum roll]

I am writing a novel!! A bona fide, original, novel. I am a ball of nervous energy announcing this and I wanted to tell you, my dear readers, first. Many of you have been following GLM for years and years and have been my motivation that has resulted in every chapter I’ve ever posted. Your support, your kindness has made such a difference in my life. More than you know. Because of you I’ve kept writing all these years…when I could of just not? I could of just let work take over and never practiced the thing that I am most passionate about: writing. But I have you. And knowing that, I kept going: someone out there wants to read what you’re writing Amber!

Fear & doubt are real things I live with every day (an authorly occupational hazard??), but with every interaction with you my dear readers, those fears and doubts get smaller. I have been working with a wonderful mindset coach since September who has helped me throw into clarity all that I am grateful for and what I want my future to look like. I face a lot of uncertainty, but this I am sure of: I am so thankful for you my dear readers, and I would be honored if you stayed by my side through my new adventures in novel writing.

I am at ground zero when it comes to my novel and I would really love to share my experience every step of the way with you. I have opened a new Tumblr blog to document this journey and I plan for it to be an interactive and fun space to share my writing updates, get your input (very important!), share spoilers and previews, ramble incoherent writing things, ect. If you’d be interested in coming along with me learning step by step what it takes to write a novel from scratch, I’d love to see you there :)

So what does this mean for GLM??

UPDATES.

Because of my novel writing goals, I’ve had to come up with a writing schedule. And this (of course!!) includes GLM. In fact, it’s a necessity. Writing a novel is frankly pretty terrifying. I know I can do it, but I am waaaay out of my comfort zone. But writing GLM? That IS my comfort zone. Writing GLM will be so good for me, it will preserve my sanity. Nothing like a dose of Naru to cheer you up :) But I digress…back to the point: updates! From now going forward through the month of January (and beyond), I will be dedicating Saturdays to writing on GLM. I will post my writing updates here of course and we can scream together as things are really ramping up as we head towards the climax of this case…ahhhh! If I am mathing correctly…you could roughly expect chapter 35 in time for Valentine’s day: I love you here is a new chapter! That’s just 6 Saturdays between you and the next chapter! WOW.

My dear readers, I don’t know if this rambling post conveyed it, but— whether you choose to follow me on my novel journey or not, thank you for being here. Thank you for reading my writing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ll link you to my novel writing Tumblr below, which will have more details about the general premise of my novel soon (think rom-com/kdrama), and I will see you again Saturday for a—gasps—GLM writing update!

Later lovelies! xoxo

Ambernim8 | novel writing blog of yours truly

[gaysindistress]

As Good a Reason - seven

pairing: ⚠️Dark!Mob!Bucky⚠️ x reader

summary: when Brock Rumlow picks a fight he can’t win with the White Wolf, he drags his Snake back. Six years after she ran away, Y/N Rumlow is faced with a choice to make; do as she’s told and kill the White Wolf or overtake her father instead because spite’s as good a reason to take his power?

warnings: ⚠️Dark!Mob!Bucky⚠️, cursing, blood, more character deaths, smutty moments but not full spice

word count: 2.6k

Tag list @kandis-mom @casa-boiardi @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @cakesandtom @unaxv @hidden-treasures21 @vonalyn @emerald-writes

a/n: AHHHH HERE'S THE FINAL PART OF AS GOOD A REASON!!!! I know I went MIA for a minute but I'm back. I started a new job and moved states so it's been an absolutely crazy week for me. Going forward, I'm going to be slower with updating and fics will probably only come out once a week. I've been focusing on editing Divine Violence and catching up on my reading stack (my poor kindle is overloaded) but I promise I won't forget about all of you on tumblr <3 <3 <3

six | series masterlist

Victoria is silent during the drive, keeping her stare ahead and out the front window without so much as a single glance to her sister or brother. Y/N keeps shooting glances at Niklaus for explanation but he offers nothing. 

“Vic,” she says softly, touching her sister’s shoulder and she flinches at the touch, “Vic what’s wrong?”

She doesn’t answer at first but the second time that her sister asks, she briefly looks back at her and whispers something. 

“What did you say?”

Clearing her throat, she says the unthinkable, “Brock made me do it.”

“What did he make you do?” Niklaus says as he leans towards the front seat. 

“I didn’t have a choice. He….he said if I loved him, I would do it.”

Steve glances over in concern from the driver’s seat, “What is she going on about?”

“I know just as much as you,” Y/N scoffs before turning to her sister, “Vic what did he make you do?” “He said that if I was a good daughter, I would do it,” she mumbles to herself as she pulls something from under her loose sweatshirt. Steve looks over at her again and slams on the breaks in efforts to stop her from pulling out the weapon. The sudden stop sends everyone flying forward as well the knife Victoria had started to pull out. Steve snatches it up before she can with one hand and has a gun pointed at with the other. The car behind them, the one that Sam and James are in, slams to a halt as well as the two men clamor out. 

“What the fuck?” James hisses when he approaches the driver’s side. He narrows his eyes at everyone inside the car and lets out a disappointed sigh when he sees the knife and a shaking Victoria. 

“I expected more of you, Victoria Marie,” he scolds her as if she is a child and nods to Sam and Steve. Sam rips the backseat door open and pulls the other two triplets out as Steve hands him the knife. 

“What are you doing?” Niklaus sneers at Sam and James but neither of them answer. Y/N tries her hand at getting an answer but again gets nothing aside from a stern look from James. Steve exits the vehicle next as the two are dragged back to the second car. He grabs hold of Y/N who fights him tooth and nail to get out of his hold but it’s useless. 

As they’re shoved into the car, they hear a gunshot. Both gasp and let out cries of anger, rage, pain, sadness, anything at all that they’ve felt in the last six years. James joins them in the car, cleaning the barrel of Steve’s gun off on his pant leg. He says nothing as Sam drives off. 

The car where Victoria should be in is starting to smoke as flames try to lick up the sides. Y/N looks at him in horror but no reaction. 

Two Rumlows gone in the span of two hours. 

Who is next?

Five days pass before Y/N leaves her room. 

She guarded the door with any piece of furniture she could find and refused to open it unless absolutely necessary. Niklaus, of course, had been the only expectation however he too rarely left his room. 

That was until Steve pounded on their doors, demanding that they be downstairs in 15 minutes for a reunion dinner. Y/N scoffs at the idea of having a reunion dinner when all her and her brother want to do is grieve. 

Another pound on the door brings her attention back and she takes a sharp breath in before opening it. A black box sits on the ground in front of the door and it takes everything in her to not stomp on the fragile lid. She picks it up and tosses it onto her bed, staring at it as she sits on the floor. It’s similar to the box she got that first night days ago. 

Weeks ago. 

Months ago?

Honestly at this point, Y/N couldn’t remember how long it had been since she was dragged back to this hell hole of a city and had her life turned upside down. All she knows is that the grip that James had on her is growing tighter everyday. It’s becoming suffocating, squeezing out any breath that she tries to take and that box on her bed is a physical reminder of the hand that’s always wrapped around her throat. 

She climbs to her feet and hesitantly takes a seat next to the box, contemplating whether or not she should let the hand control her even more. A thought crosses her mind, one that chills her to the bone. 

What would James do to Klaus?

Her fingers quickly flick open the box and the lid slides back to reveal a gold necklace sitting on black tissue paper. She lets out a deep sigh at the theatrics that James puts into everything that he does. Picking up the necklace, Y/N scoffs as she looks it over. Of course, he would ask…command her to wear a necklace with his name on it. 

However as her fingers pick it up, they catch on the paper to show a bundle of black gleaming fabric. She pulls the paper back even more and takes out the dress he’s also silently demanding that she wears. It’s a mid length square neck dress that will no doubt show off everything she wants to hide from men like James. 

Sneering at both disgusting gifts, she throws them back into the box and shoves it off her bed. It clatters to the floor as she stares at it in anger, a deep feral anger that needs to be released. This anger accepts only one payment though and that is blood. More specifically that of the White Wolf’s. 

Only the sounds of clanking silverware and the occasional conversation between James and his men. Niklaus and Y/N stayed silent from the moment they saw each other in the hall. He glared at the dress and necklace she wore and she wanted desperately to tell him it was all a facade but she couldn’t without tipping off the men around them. She could see the palpable anger in his eyes, the hurt that flashed when he read the name that claimed her throat. She tried to convey with her eyes that it would all end tonight but he looked away too quickly and went back to eating. 

The dining room is much like the rest of the house, black and devoid of any emotion. She wants to make a remark about it mirroring the inside of the owner’s heart but one quick glance to the head of the table keeps it locked behind her painted lips. 

James, ever the regal mafia leader, is leaning back in his chair as he watches over his subjects. Surprisingly he’s only wearing a half buttoned black short sleeve and black slacks. Y/N pretends to trail her eyes over the tanned skin that is on display and when she lands on his face, there is a smirk welcoming her heated gaze. He takes a swallow of his favored amber liquid without breaking eye contact with her. A shiver of disgust wants to wash over her body but she suppresses it as Sam speaks. He drones on about whatever useless business he and Steve dealt with today, no doubt so insignificant that if Klaus or Y/N tried to use it against them, it would do nothing. She knew this routine well; dangle pieces of information before their enemies in efforts to get them to strike. Brock had done it time and time again to the point that the remaining Triplets knew it well. Well enough to not take the bait. 

Dinner slowly comes to an end as servants take away the empty places, leaving all of the guests to glare at each other. Y/N’s fingers tap lightly on the steak knife that remains, drawing attention to it and Steve motions for it to be taken away. James chuckles under his breath as he watches the interaction but says nothing. Y/N smirks on the inside but puts on a face of frustration. 

Both her and the White Wolf knew that if she was going to try something, she wouldn’t have been so obvious as to grab a steak knife. No, James knows that it’s a distraction but he wants to watch her plan unfold before stopping her. 

His sharp eyes meet hers again and they pin her to her seat. She sees his mouth move but she can’t hear the words that come out. She guesses that he dismissed everyone from the way that everyone clears out of the room , leaving them alone. Niklaus shoots her a glance before Sam pushes him out and she gives her brother a small nod. 

I’ll be okay.

Niklaus doesn’t fight Sam because he knows that she will be but it does little to calm the rising fear. He nods back. 

Be careful. 

She smiles at him, covering her sinister plan with sibling love. 

Once the door is closed and they are finally alone, Y/N settles her gaze back on James who had been watching the interaction. He sits his glass on the arm of his chair as he looks her over. A twinkle of something positively feral flashes in his eye when he takes in the necklace and dress she is wearing. 

“I figured it better to comply,” she offers as she takes a sip of her wine. 

“Comply?” he questions, “You make it sound like I’m a tyrant.”

“You’re far worse.”

James lets out a deep laugh that’s more animal like than human, “If I were then your brother’s head would’ve been served for dinner.”

Y/N takes another slow sip of her wine to hide her seething anger at the suggestion. 

“And then I would’ve taken you in front of the others.”

She turns to narrow her eyes at him, “What if I said no?”

“You won’t have.”

“How can you be so sure?” The glass of his cup clinks on the table as he sits it on the table before him, “Look at what you’re wearing. I’d say that is a pretty good indication that you wouldn’t say that to me.”

She rolls her eyes at him and sits her own glass on the table. Taking a deep breath, she prepares herself for her next move. Before James can say another vile thing, she quickly stands and walks to the head of the table. Perching herself on the table just beside him, Y/N gently pushes at the arm of James’ chair. Taking the hint, he moves back an inch and takes her by the hips to pull her in front of him. She had only been this close to him a handful of times but every time it’s just as terrifying as the last. His cold attitude extends to the air that circles him and now her. His scent of leather, guns, and blood engulf her and caress the sides of her face as he watches her every move. 

In another life, she knew that she would’ve fallen for him. She could see the charm and confidence that he would use on her to get her into bed. She could see the way that he would shower her with gifts to the point where she would have to beg him to stop. She could see how he would laugh when he kissed up her neck, claiming that she would never have enough and would never stop giving her the world. 

However now with the predatory look in his eye, she’s not sure that he would ever be the James that she pictured in her head. This man, the White Wolf, is the image of pure evil down to the way that he lazily smiles up at her, a dark look swimming in his equally darkening eyes. 

“Don’t pull anything stupid, little snake,” he murmurs to her as he drinks in the way his name lays on her breasts. 

“Who said I was going to do anything?” she murmurs back as she leans down into his space.

“I know that look.” 

She bats her lashes at him, fiending innocence and he laughs again, that deep rumble in his chest squeezing the air from her lungs. His right hand makes a slow climb up her arm as she leans down and finds its place on her throat, just above where his name sits on its golden chain. His thumb rubs her jaw, tipping her face down by her chin so he can look at her better. His tongue swipes his bottom lip as he appreciates the red painted on hers. 

“We both know you’re not some stupid innocent doll,” he whispers to her, “You’re my little snake, clever and deadly.”

“Are you my White Wolf then?”

James smirks at her question and draws her closer, “That depends.”

“On?”

“If you plan to keep trying to kill me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she whispers against his lips before kissing him. His soft lips move against hers in a slow but domineering way, control every slide and move they make. The hand around her neck slips into her loose hair while his other hand pulls her by the hips onto his lap and slips up on her lower back. Under her, she can feel the hardness forming in his pants and she stifled a moan at the feeling of him moving against her. One of her hands tangles into her hair, pulling at it so his head falls back and she descends upon his neck. 

Y/N leaves wet kisses on his jaw and down his neck as they move against each other, gasps and moans leaving both of them. In their desperation to devour each other, James didn’t notice that her other hand was nowhere to be felt on his body nor did he see the flash of silver in the fire light. 

“Fuck,” he chokes out when that flash of silver hides a place in between his sixth and seventh rib. Y/N quickly pulls the small dinner knife out and plunges back into the same area. The shock of her attack and the pain that is growing hot in his side stop him from pushing her off or defending himself in other ways. 

She pulls away, still sitting on top of him with the bloody knife in her hand and gives him a small smile. He breathlessly chuckles at the sight, “Wouldn’t dream of it?”

“It’s not a dream anymore,” she offers with a small shrug. 

James drops his hands from her body as she slides off and lets her knife on the table just out of his reach. The attack on his spleen will cause him to bleed out slowly enough that he will feel every moment of it but fast enough that there would be nothing anyone could do to help him. They both know it and he wants to laugh again at the situation but the pain prevents him from doing so. 

“Why?” he asks, almost too quiet for her to hear but she does. She pauses at the door to answer him. 

“Spite.”

[raisingmybanner]

Hello!! And welcome back to tumblr 💕 For the big bang asks:

1. Most challenging thing about the event?

2. What got you into royai?

3. What scene were you dying to write??

Can't wait to read your fic!! ☺️💕

Hello!! Thank you so much!! It's like everything is different and yet nothing has changed at all hahaha

The most challenging thing for me was definitely the word count requirements! I have never written anything with a word count requirement before, and I don't usually embark on fics with a word count in mind. It was very nerve-wracking to outline my idea in January and try to estimate how many words per chapter I would need in order to hit 100k and make sure my story idea was sufficient for it -- on the front side! I ended up with over 150k of story, so clearly it was all okay, but I have never had to do any of that kind of thinking up front before and it was definitely intimidating!

I got into royai through the brotherhood anime probably about a decade ago at this point. My husband had been trying to get me into FMA since we met, but his sales pitch was focused on the Elric brothers which was very Eh to me with no other context. Once I started watching the anime (and then reading the manga, and then watching again... lather rinse repeat) I fell in love with those two babies and then fell down the dark abyss of royai almost directly after. I maintain that if he had told me it was a story about royai I would have watched it years earlier XD Nothing gets me like a slow burn forbidden friends to lovers.

The scene I was dying to write was probably their first (fake)(?) kiss, because it was one I had been imagining since very early on in the daydreaming process of trying to make this fic a reality several years ago. It was gratifying to see the daydream become a reality AHHHH.

[bunny-jpeg]

I would like you to know that for some odd reason, my ADHD riddled brain has decided that your fics are the only thing that it could focus on, which is odd because I usually speed through fics, because I can’t pay attention to the whole story most of the time. But oddly enough, I read through every single word you’ve written since September and only stopped because tumblr glitched on me lol. You’re actually the one of the only RPF writers that I actually enjoy reading and this is the first time I’ve come across your blog lol.

ahhhH! thank you so much! that is so sweet to say! i'm glad that you've combed through my work so much, i'm glad that it was all a worthwhile read!! while some of my work has similar kinks/themes/tropes/etc, i always try to do something a lil different each time. so i'm glad that you'd adhd brain is eatin' it up!

this is such a specific compliment, and i mean that in the best way! and i am greatly honoured that my works have scratched that itch and that you love it! i hope to write more wonderful fics in the future!

it's always super interesting how people find my blog, i'm always curious if it's the recommended pages/posts, the for you tab, reblogs, comments, whatever it may be!

and if there's anything you'd like to see written, drop a request in my ask box! it's open 24/7! <3

[laura1633]

Hi, thank you for answering my ask on service top Max! YOU ARE MAKING ME BLUSH WITH THAT DESCRIPTION HOLY SHITTTTTT AHHHH

I do wanna say it's insane how talented this fandom is. It's truly amazing seeing all the stuff that's out there. I mean have you seen the Powerpoint and social media fics???? They are so amazingly put together, we are honestly eating so good.

NSFW ALERT

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Also just wanna put this out there for all my Lestappen folks:

Imagine Max having a slightly smaller (emphasis on slightly because my boy is still PACKED!!!!! okay Charlie boy is just real girthy) dick but Charlie boy still loves it. Like he's such a needy Charlie for cock that it doesn't matter if he doesn't put his huge ass dick into good use. It'll be so fucking plump and leaking everywhere, but he still wants to be well-fucked by Max.

ANYWAY rant over xx

I know what you mean anon! I haven't seen the powerpoint thing yet but I have seen it mentioned a lot on Tumblr so I will need to check it out at some point as I have been hearing lots of good things!

The quality of fics and artwork (and gifs etc) is crazy. I feel so lucky that I get to enjoy all this stuff for free!! It's unbelievable! I just wish I had more time at the moment to read as I have so many fics to catch up on!!! I have a huge marked for later list on ao3.

Wow wow wow I love the picture you have painted, ridiculously hot! Perhaps Charles coming from just having his ass played with, Max doesn't even need to touch his dick.

I love large dick Max (obviously 😂) but imagine a Max that is average or just under average and the first time he fucks Charles he thinks Charles is over exaggerating how good it feels just so he doesn't get embarrassed (because Charles is huge) but actually Charles is just literally obsessed with Max's dick and can't get enough of it - its the perfect size to allow Max to go hard and fast and it not hurt.

Service top Max has so much potential!!

[seriouslysam8]

I am kicking myself because I can’t find it again but earlier today I found a tumblr post with the first part of a “Sirius transforms from Padfoot into Sirius in front of Harry when Harry runs away from the Dursleys during PoA” AU and it was excellent!

1. Do you know of any “Sirius rescues Harry after he runs away from the Dursleys” stories?

2. Have you ever considered writing an AU of Sirius rescuing Harry after he escapes Azkaban?

Ahhhh!! No, you send those types of stories to me IMMEDIATELY!!!

There’s an oldie fic call The Basement by Marz1 that’s an AU of POA where Harry is “kidnapped” by Sirius before the Knight Bus arrives. It’s one of my all-time favorite POA AUs. It’s hilarious too. Harry’s commentary is top notch.

I’ve considered it but don’t think I ever will. I really hate rewriting all the Hogwarts years. I mean, 6th year Brumous is so different than the books because I’d get bored if I had to follow the books. The thought of starting at POA?? I dunno. I almost wanted to start Brumous at POA but the thought of having to redo GOF turned me off immediately. I’ll never say never but I dunno.