#AGAIN HAPPY BIRTHDAY I hope you spent a lovely day surrounded by all of them

[intimidating-fettuccine]

May I get some fluffy stuff for my boi Lj please?! I love your blog!

I hope you enjoy! :)

This randomly came to me, but I feel like Jack is obsessed with bubbles. I don't know why, I just feel like he goes absolutely bonkers for them. You know those bubble guns that shoot out a fuck ton of bubbles at once? Give him one of those and Jack will literally spend hours just creating a fuck ton of bubbles with it. Whenever Jason needs to distract LJ because he's being annoying he just gives Jack some bubbles and sends him on his way and Jack will be entertained for a ridiculous amount of time. He's on a quest to blow the biggest bubble physically possible, and he won't stop until he gets there and does it.

Jack's birthday is Christmas, which means he gets double the gifts because he gets his birthday gifts and Christmas gifts all at once. The possibly insufferable part is that he will constantly pester you to try and get you to tell him what you got him because he's incredibly impatient. Whenever you get a new package at your door, "Is that for me?? Is it one of my gifts??" Whenever you go out shopping for a long time alone, "Did you get me something?? Did you go gift shopping??" He's like a little kid bouncing around and excited and he just can't contain himself. It's very wholesome to watch him be so excited about something, so you can't get too upset at him. The other thing is that it does not matter remotely at all what you get him. You could get him a pebble that you thought was cool that reminded you of him and he'd be over the moon. It's not the gift that matters to Jack, it's the fact that it came from you. He'd rather you hand-make him something small that came from your heart than have you spend a bunch of money on something not as personal. Not to say he won't accept purchased gifts, he just wants whatever you give him to be because it made you think of him and you'd really think he'd like it.

Ridiculously good at pumpkin carving. RIDICULOUSLY good. I feel like before you'd spent your first October with him that the others had warned you about how Jack will wipe the floor with everyone when it comes to carving, and you probably laughed it off, but this man is a true fucking artist when it comes to the carve. He will buy the biggest pumpkin he can, and he'll carve an incredibly beautiful, incredibly intricate design on it that nobody else can manage to do, and he makes it look so easy. He'll carve a tree in the woods surrounded by flora and fauna around the whole pumpkin and it looks like something a professional artist spent days working on, but he'll bust it out in a couple hours. He doesn't even know how he got so good at it, he's just always been extremely good at carving pumpkins. If you want him to carve you something specific, he's also more than happy to do so. He'll give you the best carved pumpkin you'll ever have and if it starts rotting he'll carve the design again on a different pumpkin for you so you have it for the whole month. He's not even cocky about it, he's very humble about his carving skills and just wants to make pretty things for people.

[19ndonboy]

religion’s in your lips - mason mount

words: 2.1k

A/N: back again with a new imagine. i hope y’all will like this one, feedback is appreciated!! thank you

you could feel soft lips on your shoulders as you slowly drifted off sleep. you opened your eyes, adjusting them to the light passing through the curtains as they landed on your boyfriend. and years later, you still found your heart doing a somersault. you thought about how lucky you were to have this view every morning and you wouldn’t change it for anything else in the world.

you turned your head to face him and as you whispered a quiet “hi”, he felt his heart skipping a beat. he was so in love with you, he feared it could destroy him. he kept on his trail of kisses from your shoulders to your jaw to end up on your face as he counted them.

“18” on the mole on your right cheek, “19” on the tip of your nose, “20” on your eyelid as you closed your eyes with a smug smile plastered on your face, “21” on your forehead, “22” on your pink lips.

a kiss which ended up being messy as you couldn’t stop yourself from stupidly giggling as he thought about how he would turn the world upside down if he had to to hear your laugh over and over again.

“happy birthday my love” were his words that erupted a crimson taint on your cheeks. and with words minimizing how full of love your heart held for the man in front of you, you cupped his head and passionately kissed him. and you were hoping he could hear your heart exploding in you just as much as you could hear his.

you pulled away from his lips and he gave you his signature look, the one that got you weak to the knees before kissing your forehead as only him had the secret recipe to that warm and safe feeling that was spreading through your stomach. you laid your head on his bare chest as his hand found its usual spot in your hair, tangling them while you appreciated the peaceful silence surrounding the both of you.

and you don’t know how long you stayed here until all you could hear was your stomach growling, being too hungry to think about anything else but mason’s speciality, avocado toasts. you heard him chuckle behind you before he spoke “what do you think about getting out of bed, i’ll make you breakfast and then we can do what i planned for this special day” with a smirk on his face. he had a way with words and he knew it. you nodded and then made your way downstairs to the kitchen with mason following you.

he wasn’t happy with that though. before you could even realize, he had lifted you up and you were on his shoulders, you let out a high-pitched sound before laughing out loud. his favorite sound in the whole world, he repeats every time he hears it. he sat you down on a chair, asking you not to do anything as it was your day, “just like every other day” he would say when soppiness got to his head.

so you spent the next ten minutes watching him go in circles between a drawer and a frying pan in your kitchen while he was humming to your taylor swift playlist. and he took your hand to dance with you when the famous song 22 started playing in the room, joking about how you had waited an eternity to “relate to those words”.

you, then, both took your plate and went to sit on the sofa in your living room and started to eat in front of a random tv program, paying little to no attention to it as you were talking about your plans for the day. although, your birthday was never something you were looking forward to and therefore there was never much celebration on that day and it had been like that for years. but that was until you met him. he always made sure you knew how much you were loved and appreciated by people around you and he swore to himself, a smile would be the only trait visible on your face on that special date.

having finished your avocado toasts, he stood up, gave you a quick kiss on your head and excused himself two minutes as he ran upstairs. he returned right after with a box in his hand and a grin plastered on his face. you hid your face in your hands, which provoked a laughter from mason. you grumbled as he took your hands in his to make you look at him. “mason, you know i didn’t want anything for my birthday” you said, barely audible. “y/n i know but i wanted to. please, take it” he said while kissing each one of your knuckles.

you opened it and found a smaller black box, you gave him a quick glance before opening it and what came to your sight was a necklace with a gold heart locket. you opened it and what you weren’t expecting was a note with the words “forever and always, m” in it. a first sob left your lips and you couldn’t stop the ones following it. he held you tight and your head found itself in the crook of his neck, thanking him a hundredth time. he kissed your forehead, and waited for your sobs to subside. “hey hey, no crying on your birthday” and your sobs turned into giggles. “this is the best present i could’ve asked for mason, tha-“ he stopped you knowing another thanks was on its way. “your day is not over baby, get ready and wear a bikini” he instructed you to as he winked, making you roll your eyes as you did like he said and ran upstairs to your wardrobe to get ready for the day.

you put on your favorite blue bikini, your pink and orange crochet dress and you were ready to leave for his surprise destination. he was wearing a linen white shirt, one of your favorites, and a black short and all you could think about was how you wanted to unbutton his shirt and take it off. he was so handsome, the prettiest man you ever laid your eyes on, you thought. you hopped in his car, your playlist ready to be played through the car speakers. kendrick lamar’s song was starting and you were good to go, not knowing where he was leading the two of you, excitement filling you.

an hour and a half and you could see a beach in front of you. he knew how much you loved the beach, as it reminded you of what used to be home for you in your country. he was happy with his surprise when he landed his eyes on you and saw you smile. lucky for you two, there weren't much people here that day. being too excited to leave for the day, you didn’t even realize when mason put a basket full of chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of hard lemonade in his car. looking at the cookies like a kid on christmas day, you sat on the beach blanket and ate one.

and you spent the next hours just like that. eating cookies, drinking lemonade, laughing, kissing each other, talking and appreciating the moment. you couldn’t have asked for anything better as the two of you thought back to your first date.

“you know i was so nervous before. i called christian and he couldn’t stop making fun of me.” you laughed as it was the first time that you were hearing about this. “hey don’t laugh! him and nicole literally joked about how much i was sweating last week. they laughed about how smitten i was already back then” he blushed and you couldn’t stop yourself from pecking his lips “and they were right.”

“idiot” you rolled your eyes, although you’d never admit that his words made you feel dizzy. “that was the most chaotic date ever” as you recalled. “god, it had started so well in that café. stupid joke after stupid joke and i was asking myself how lucky did i get to be here with you. and i remember how neither one of us wanted to end it here so we went on a walk.” you could hear him laughing as you continued. “and then it just started pouring and as people with common sense, we ran to a store to get umbrellas”

“and that’s when i knew you were it for me.” you couldn’t hide the frown on your face at his words. “we got out of the store and before you opened the umbrella, you looked at your face through a car window, saw the mascara stains on your face and erupted in laughter.”

“mason, i hit your face with that umbrella a few seconds after. how-“ you both laughed at how concerned you sounded, clearly a tree had knocked into him to come to this conclusion at this time, you thought. “i know some people would have ran away after how this date ended but not me, that was the best one i ever had. from the moment i saw you enter that cafe in that little black dress to the moment i let you in the front door, my vision blurry because of the blow.”

you couldn’t stop your heart from beating so fast. you never knew this was how he felt after your first date. you know you made it here after this but you never thought he had felt like that. he kissed you, the kiss getting more heated by the second and you had to stop the two of you before going too far on the beach. he wrapped his arms around your body and you laid down on the beach blanket, kisses left on each part of your skin he had access to. and you stayed in this position for the next few hours, watching the sunset with no desire to leave this beautiful place for now.

eventually you had to go home and this day was slowly coming to an end. your hand in his, you made your way to his car and went home. his hand rested on your thigh the whole ride, making you feel safe and all giddy inside. he parked his car in the porch, flexing his biceps which earned him a slap on his shoulder as you feigned to be disgusted. he was so stupid and why were you laughing like a 15 years old girl?

you made your way inside and left your shoes in the entrance, taking the basket with you to put everything you took with you away. mason then took you with him and led the both of you to your bathroom. there was no better way to keep going with your day than to hop in the shower with your boyfriend. the two of you undressed yourself before getting under the steamy water. he grabbed your shower gel and started to wash your back, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck to your lower back.

your turn to wash him arrived and while doing so, you left kisses here and there on his collarbones, his shoulders, feeling him shiver under your touch. water soon turned cold and you both got out of the shower. picking pajamas for the night – one of mason’s shirts for you. and when you thought that this day could not get any better than this, you heard the doorbell. confusion written all over your face, you followed mason downstairs and saw him with a bag from your favorite japanese restaurant. food he had ordered during the day without you noticing.

you sat on the sofa, a blanket covering your legs and you ate sushi in front of one of your favorite rom-com movies, how to lose a guy in 10 days. you couldn’t recall the amount of times you had watched this movie, mason being your first victim when it came to watching the same movies over and over again. but as much as you loved it, your eyes drooped, wearied after such a long and emotional day at the beach. mason, on his side, could sense your tiredness as you weren’t commenting on the movie like you would usually do.

tv off and before you knew, mason was bringing you to your shared bedroom, and next you were in your bed. he followed you right after turning the lights off and he had his arms wide open for you to engulf yourself into them. one last meaningful kiss shared and before you drifted off to sleep, you heard him whisper “you��re so special y/n, i don’t think you’ll ever realize what you do to me”.

tag: @10vnderhaze @mountymase @fallinforerling

[marcelloshdz]

surprise party

summary: marcello pulling out all the stops to celebrate you on your big day. requested by anonymous. *b/f/n = best friend’s name 

“so, what are you doing for your birthday next weekend?” b/f/n asked as you both sat down to lunch. 

“i don’t know. i haven’t really thought much about it. i’ve had other things on my mind.” you shrugged. 

“y/n, come on. i’ve known you for years and know how much you love celebrating. what’s going on?”

“i really just wanted to spend it with marcello. we’re always together for our birthdays, but this is the first year that we wont be. he’s going out of town for some shows next weekend.” you sighed. 

“he can’t reschedule?” they asked, and you shook your head. 

“no. his shows were already rescheduled from last month because of some electrical or plumbing issues with the club or something. next weekend was the only weekend that was still available after all the other acts rescheduled their shows.”

“well then. i guess i’ll just take you out for your birthday next week. and i’ll make sure you have a blast.” b/f/n suggested, and you nodded in excitement. 

the week flew by and it was finally friday again. you were moping on the couch, sighing loudly while marcello was packing to leave. 

“y/n, please. i don’t want to leave like this.” he said, placing his bags by the door. he moved to sit next to you on the couch, pulling your chin to meet his gaze. “are you mad at me?” he asked, a small pout pulling on his lips. 

“no. i’m not mad at you. i’m upset that you’re leaving, but i’m not mad.” 

“i'm really really sorry. i tried my hardest to move things around to be here with you this weekend. what can i do to make it up to you?”

“put on your best shows this weekend. then come straight back home.” 

“deal.” he said with a smile. you shared a good bye kiss before he left, making his way to the airport to head to the city he was performing in this weekend. you went to bed early that night, resting up for a full weekend out you had planned with your friends. 

the next morning, you woke up to a bunch of texts from your family and friends, wishing you a happy birthday. you went to your text thread with marcello, reading his messages first. 

“happy birthday, mi amor. i wish so badly that i could be home with you, serving you breakfast in bed, and getting ready to take you out to celebrate. but i hope you know i’m thinking of you, and will be all day long. i love you so much, and i hope you still have the wonderful birthday that you deserve.”

“by the way, i did leave a gift for you hidden behind my clothes in the closet. it’s in a black box with a red bow. enjoy. 😉” 

“facetime me when you find it.”

you got out of bed and walked to the closet, rummaging through his clothes before finding the box. you sat down at your vanity, tapping on marcello’s contact to call him.

“good morning, baby.” he said excitedly when he answered. “happy birthday.”

“thank you, my sweet.” you talked for a little bit before marcello turned the conversation to your gift.

“alright, open your present.” he said, a wide smile on his face.

“okay, okay.” you laughed. you untied the bow, and lifted the lid. you removed the tissue paper to reveal a stunning pair of boots in your favorite color, ones that you’d been hinting at to marcello for months. you let out a loud gasp once the sight in front of you finally clicked in your head. “no! oh, these are beautiful.” 

“i figured once you put their picture on the fridge, it was safe to say you wanted them.” he laughed. 

“needed them, actually. and they fit perfectly.” you said as you slid them on. 

you and marcello were on facetime for a little bit longer before he had to start getting for his first show. he wished you another happy birthday, blowing a kiss through the screen before hanging up. 

later that afternoon, your friends came over to hang out before you went out that evening. you spent the afternoon watching movies, eating junk food, and enjoying your day being surrounded by people you loved. 

after dinner, you all finally started getting ready for your night out. you’d just finished doing your hair and makeup, when you stepped into your closet to decide on what to wear. you knew whatever you decided on needed to match your new boots perfectly. once you finally decided on your outfit, and were finished getting ready, you stepped into the living room to your awaiting friends.

they erupted in cheers and applause, hyping you up more than you could’ve asked for, or really wanted. but it was all in good fun. it was your birthday, and they wanted to make you feel special. 

you took a few shots before heading down to your uber and making your way to wherever your friends were taking you for the night. they ended up taking you to a five-star hotel, which you immediately protested to. 

“awe, come on. i don’t wanna drink at a hotel bar.” you whined. 

“well, good thing that’s not what we’re doing!” b/f/n said. they linked arms with you as you followed the rest of your group down a long hallway towards the hotel’s ballrooms. you finally stopped at one of them, slowly walking into it. the lights flicked on as soon as you stepped through the door, a loud “SURPRISE” erupting around you. 

“oh my god.” you said softly, barely above a whisper, fighting tears. your eyes bounced around the room, marveling over the decorations, including a large banner that read “happy birthday y/n” hung over the stage area. you were immediately engulfed in the crowd, friends and family giving you hugs and wishing you well. as you made your way through the crowd, you emerged on the other side, finally face to face with the mastermind of the evening. 

“marcello!” you cheered, falling into his arms and pressing a kiss to his lips. “what are you doing here?”

“you didn’t actually think i was gonna miss your birthday, did you?” he smiled down at you. 

“you did all of this?” you asked, and he blushed. 

“me and b/f/n. they helped me in ordering a lot of stuff so you wouldn’t get suspicious when party decorations started showing up at home. but i’ve been here all week helping set everything up.” 

“so you’ve been lying to me all week? you haven’t been working on your set for shows this weekend?” you asked, and he shook his head.

“nope. those shows were rescheduled for like, two months from now.” he shrugged. “i had the perfect alibi and you didn’t suspect a thing.” 

“i can’t believe you.” you laughed. “you’re too much.”

“never! you deserve the world, and it makes me happier than i can ever truly explain to be the one to give you the world.” he said with a smile.

“i love you.” you said.

“i love you.” he said, pressing a kiss to your lips.

the night was so absolutely wonderful, as you spent it celebrating with your favorite people. you still couldn’t believe that marcello would do all of this for you, and you could never be able to fully express how much you appreciated him.

as the night was winding down, you were getting ready to go when marcello pulled you into his arms. 

“where are you going?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“home? where else?” 

“i have a room for us upstairs. c’mon.” he took your hand in his, leading you to the elevator. you made your way upstairs, and down the hallway to the room. all of your gifts had already been brought up here, and marcello’s bags sat on the dresser.  you slid your shoes off and undid your hair, letting it fall loosely over your shoulders. 

“as much as i appreciate all of this, i can’t believe you made me sleep all alone the night before my birthday.” you sighed, falling onto the bed.

“i know, i’m sorry. but it was the only way i could pull all of this off.” he climbed into the bed with you, hovering over you before pressing a kiss to your lips. “mm, i have another gift for you.”  he said, moving back to the dresser. he rummaged around in his bag, pulling out a velvet box. he moved back over to you, placing the box in your hand. you flipped it open to reveal a diamond necklace with matching earrings. 

“oh my god, these are beautiful!” you said with a smile. marcello took the necklace out of the box, hooking it around your neck.

“perfect.” he smiled as the necklace rested on your chest.

“thank you, so much. today has been perfect, and you’ve made me feel so special. i don’t think i’ll ever be able to truly express how much i love and appreciate you.” 

“muñequita, you don’t have to thank me. it’s your birthday, and i love being able to spoil you. because you do the same for me. te amo muchisimo. para siempre.”

“i love you too.” you said softly. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. 

marcello quickly deepened the kiss, laying you down as his lips began trailing down your neck. you let out a soft moan, raising your head to expose more of your neck for marcello to explore. his fingers fumbled with the zipper of your dress, and you quickly shimmied out of his as marcello lifted his shirt over his head. he stood briefly, your eyes not leaving his body as he finished undressing in front of you. you wrapped your leg around his waist, pulling him back into you as your lips met his again.

the intimacy you shared in the moments that followed was as perfect as ever. the way your bodies intertwined and meshed together was more satisfying than you could ever put into words. marcello treated you like a queen, making sure every inch of you was taken care of, and every need was met.

the end of the night was an absolute perfect end to a perfect birthday. you loved marcello so much, and you felt so incredibly lucky that he loved you the same way. 

[yey56]

İm in love with your scenarios😔 and I have never seen a Scenario or Headcanons with bunzo bunny CAN YOU DO BUNZO X READER PLEASE🙏🏿🙏🏿 (Mini scenario)<3

BUNZO BUNNY X READER

Ok, theres not much to work with because BUNZO bunny is more of a secondary boss that barely gets screen but I'll try my best. ;)

You didn't have any recollection of how many time had you been down here. This whole place seemed like a labyrinth, a twisted labyrinth full of toys that craved nothing more than flesh.

Your leg had been badly injured by one of them and right now the only thing you had in mind was to figure out how to get out of there.

Trying to get up you found yourself against the floor once again. The twisted ankle you had was not helping you in this situation...

Paranoic you became hyper aware of your surroundings. You could feel every sound, which were none; every smell, which was only pushing you to throw up; and every thing in sight.

But for some reason you didn't understand, the sound of cymbals that resonated thought the walls was the thing that scared you the most.

You could no see the owner of the instrument but while looking at every posible direction. A yellow bunny appeared Infront of you just as you were facing up front again. You jumped in the place.

He looked at you, curiously- Hi,.I'm Bunzo Bunny. Call me Bunzo, or Bunz, or whatever you like-the bunny said happily-is it you birthday?- the bunny asked, clearly exited at the prospect of a birthday.

What?... No- you replied trying with all your might to no anger the creature in front of you. The yellow toy bowed down his head seemingly sad about it. -well, when is it?? - he asked again.

My birthday?- the way of the conversation was a mystery to you- of course silly! What else could I be asking for??- his excitement was almost childlike. Somehow adorable.

Well it's- -you were interrupted by the bunny.- No no! Don't tell me, let me guess!- he giggled and clapped the cymbals softy.

You both spent a while with the toy trying to guess and you denying any date he said.

Bah! This is impossible!-finally the yellow rabbit gave up. You laughed wholeheartedly at this. Really feeling like you were comfortable in this place for the first time.-you can always keep trying- your recommendation gave him hopes of guessing the damned day but he suddenly seemed to remember something.

The atmosphere got tenser and while he still had the happy tone he seemed tense.- well friend- I -I have to go- he started going back where he came from.- can you... Can we met here again? Tomorrow? Pls- his round eyes and permanent smile convinced you that if someone down here was going to be your friend,.it was going to be this Bunzo guy.- Sure. Eh-i don't think I'm going much further either way.- your response made him happy and he went jumping and giggling.

Just this time, Bunzo wouldn't tell mommy long legs about your presence in the factory. He would keep his new friend a secret just as you kept your birthday a secret as well.

[seraphicsage]

If you have time:

Zekina - timeless

A/n hope you like it!! This took me so long and it was so worth it!!

It was in 6th grade the Zeke fell in love with Tina. He was new, and scared out of his goddamn mind about a new school (again) and just wanted to fit in. Being a hall monitor (as she proudly told him) she gave him a tour around wagstaff, looking after him the whole day, she was very attentive the entire day. She introduced him to Jimmy Junior and both her siblings, and spent the whole day being sweet and kind in a way he didn’t experience before. Other schools never bothered showing him around with any kind of dedication, knowing that he could be moving again any time soon, but even when Zeke tried to insist it was necessary because of this, Tina just brushed him off, telling him how much she enjoyed her hall monitor duties and proceeded to what he still refers to as the best tour ever.

In 8th grade things got increasingly complicated and he squashed his feelings down deep. After her birthday party, he got an excited call from Jimmy Junior about his first ever kiss. With Tina Belcher. He could tell how happy J-Ju was about it, and he was never the type to go after his best mate’s girl, so he tried to forget it. Unfortunately it wasn’t that easy.

The mad pooper incident? He didn’t like to talk about it, but everyone remembers that. Then there was the day of his Grandmother’s surgery. He swears he’s never loved her more than that moment. So much so he practically confessed it, by telling her how determined he is for them to be married. Then the science fair incident. Not his first kiss (to his disappointment) but definitely the best kiss he had had so far in his life. He spent many years thinking about that kiss. Asking himself so many questions. Why had she kissed him? Him of all people? Yes she’d kissed J-Ju as well, but she hadn’t kissed anyone else. Did it mean something?

It wasn’t until a couple years into high school that Tina saw Zeke differently. She had decided she finally has enough of the on and off again relationship with Jimmy Junior and broke up with him for the last time, making that point very clear to him. After that she lost some friends, realising they only hung out with her because of Jimmy Junior. Some of them she was glad to be gone, the likes of Tammy and Jocelyn, but others she missed. And honestly? She missed being friends with Jimmy Junior. It was weird.

But one day her science teacher paired her up with Zeke, and she felt awful. Her mind was riddled with thoughts of regret and humiliation. Knowing he was friends with Jimmy Junior and hating that he was put into this position. But she played nice and invited him to her house to do the work.

They sat down on her bedroom floor with various pieces of paper and stationary surrounding them, an awkward silence filling the air.

“Okay look I’m just gonna say it now so it’s out there otherwise I’m not going to be able to think about anything else. I’m so sorry that you got paired with me, I know I’m the last person you want to work with. I-if we separate the work out to things we have to do then we don’t even really have to work together and I can just put it all together at the last minute and you’ll never have to speak to me again! And then you won’t have to deal with me.” She blurts out in one breath, desperately avoiding eye contact with him.

He’s just confused. “You- what? Why wouldn’t I want to be around you?!” He looks at her in shock, having spent the last few months missing her like hell.

“Because Jimmy Junior’s your best friend. And I broke up with him. And I’m… horrible?” She whispers the last part out, not entirely sure she’s getting her point across.

He sighs and brings a hand to his face, trying to rub the worry out of his features. “T-bird, you’re not horrible. And yeah J-Ju’s my best friend, but he wasn’t good to you. I don’t know why, he doesn’t like to talk about it, but the point is that’s not your fault. You deserve better, I don’t blame you for breaking up with him.” He admits, desperate to show her that he wants to be friends again.

But that just confuses Tina more, “Then why did you stop talking to me?”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me! I mean come on girl I let it happen! I watched him treat you like garbage and I didn’t do anything!” He looks away from her. “I couldn’t blame you for not wanting to hang around me anymore.”

Tina blinks. And blinks again. And just for good measure, to make sure she had really processed what he’s just said to her, she blinks once more. “So we both blamed ourselves but wanted to keep hanging out?” She asks slowly, still wrapping her head around the new information herself. He looks up at her and she can’t read his face for a moment. But then he laughs. And it’s the most beautiful, kind, relieved laugh she has ever heard. She starts laughing too, just as relieved.

When they calm down they look at each other just smiling for a small moment before Zeke finally speaks again, “So… friends again? I’ve missed you T-bird. It’s not the same without you.” He says and she blushes, feeling incredibly embarrassed and confused as to why she does, but she nods, and sees as even more relief fills his eyes and watches how his entire body relaxes.

Eventually they manage to start some work, after a long overdue catch up on each other’s lives. It’s one of Tina’s favourite days to think back to.

Much to both of their strain, they don’t do anything about their obvious-to-everyone-but-themselves crushes on each other for another year. Tina’s affections for Zeke grow stronger and stronger every day and she finds herself quickly falling harder than she ever did for any of her other boy obsessions in the past. Certainly more than Jimmy Junior.

And Zeke, well he’s as whipped as day 1. He spends every moment he can with her, helping her with school work, taking her to the movies any time she mentions a film she wants to watch, taking her to the aquarium after school at least once a week, driving her to and from school.

Jimmy Junior can’t even find himself to be upset at the fact that Zeke spent so much time with her than him, not once he’d finally seen them interact in person, and watched how much genuine love and affection was in his best friends eyes when looking at her. And seeing how much more love was in Tina’s eyes than he had ever seen, it stung a little but he couldn’t help but smile and tell Tammy to shut up when she tried to make a comment.

Thanks to this Tina and Jimmy Junior even managed to find a way to feel comfortable around each other again, even feeling like friends for the first time in a long time.

They finally made it official when Zeke got offered a scholarship at one of the best culinary schools in the state. He had made it! He was able to go to his dream school and he finally had a chance to make his dreams come true.

To absolutely no-one’s surprise, the first thing he did when he found it was race to Tina’s house. She opened the door and tackled him into the tightest hug she could, the moment he told her the news. “I’m so proud of you Zeke. You did it!!” She breathed out, squeezing him impossibly tighter.

He pulls back slightly to look her in her eyes, his big grin fading into something softer when he could see how happy she was for him. “T, I-” He begins but she cuts him off, a surge of bravery coursing through her as she presses her lips against his in a searing kiss. She desperately tried to pour every emotion, every word she had tried to say so many times, into this one act of affection. Zeke felt it all and took everything she was giving him with no hesitation. They both felt as though they were drowning. Forgetting everything else in the world around them but each other.

When they finally come up for air they just look at each other, their breaths mixing with each other in an almost suffocating but enticing way. “I love you Zeke.” She whispers, watching his face grow into an even happier grin than when he first arrived, before he whispers back the same thing, softer and more heartfelt than anything she imagined in her dreams.

They kiss again, with even more passion and if Jimmy Junior feels himself tearing up a little from his position in his restaurant, he certainly won’t tell them that.

When they both go off to college they’re sad to not be as close, but they call every day, text basically 24/7 and they visit each other as often as they can. Neither of them have a moment of doubt through it all. They talk about the future a lot, their from their greatest ambitions to the small moments they’re looking forward to.

Tina starts looking at houses and dreaming of sharing it with him every day. Her writing improves tenfold thanks to how head over heels in love she is, and she takes inspiration from her devoted boyfriend to stream it into every piece of work she does.

The next big moment in their lives is when they both graduate. Zeke graduates with an offer to work at an extremely high end restaurant- thanks to many glowing reviews from professors, and Tina graduates with an offer to publish a book of hers, they couldn’t be more happy with their lives. Especially once they find an apartment for them to live in together. They truly make the place their own and they’re favourite parts of the day are waking up in each others arms, and when Zeke comes home from work and they can see each other again.

After a year of living together, Zeke proposes. He prepares Tina’s favourite meal, lights her favourite scented candles, wears a suit, buys her a new dress, and plays her favourite songs. Just them. In their first home. Years after Tina fell in love with him, and even longer after Zeke fell in love with him. He tries to do a whole speech, but he splutters as tears fill his eyes and his voice breaks. Tina cries too. At first she can’t get the words out, nodding furiously, until she’s finally able to squeak out a small, “yes”, and Zeke slides the ring onto her finger.

10 months later they both cry again as they desperately try to get their wedding vows out. There isn’t a single dry in the house then either. Even louise doesn’t bother hiding it.

2 years later, Tina gives birth to 2 beautiful girls. Zeke says she has never looked as beautiful as when she held those girls in her arms for the first time. There are tears in everyone’s eyes then as well.

Zeke is the best girl dad ever. His entire life is devoted to his girls, and he is not afraid for everyone to know it. He makes sure that all of his girls always feel how strongly and ferociously he loves them all, and how much he would sacrifice for them all if it would just make them smile.

At 89 years old Zeke goes to bed, lying next to his adoring wife, and passes away in his sleep. When Tina calls the ambulance, almost hysterically, they tell her that she died with no pain and in peace. She cries more then, than she ever has before. Their children cry when they hear the news, and so do their grandchildren. Their great-grandchildren don’t quite understand but they cry as well.

His funeral is filled with nothing but loving stories from everyone who ever knew him.

6 months later and it’s Tina’s turn. She swears she can feel it coming that day, and wonders if he knew too. Thinking back to that day. She’s convinced he hugged her just that little bit tighter, loved her that little bit louder. And maybe he didn’t but spending her last day thinking about every beautiful moment spent with her love is exactly what she wants to be doing.

Her death is peaceful and painless. There’s even a small smile on her face as she closes her eyes and lets sleep consume her one last time

[sh0ek0]

it's supposed to be fun, turning twenty-one (part 3.5)

please find the other parts via my masterlist or the #sh0ek0 tag, I'm having some trouble with my posts not showing up in the tags and I think the links are messing this up

genre: little bit of angst, dk if this counts even as a hint of fluff given the overall storyline?? just a small drabble content warning: hints of abuse, hints of toxic relationship, emotional dependency, nothing too explicit I guess, aged up characters, college au pairing: Megumi x reader word count: 2.8k A/N: Part III was quite long and almost a year too late and I realized that I don’t love it as much as I thought I would. This one's shorter as I’m not sure if I should continue with the series, the last part didn’t perform as good as the first two and I'm unsure where the story is going from here. Anyways, I hope you’ll enjoy this summary: after the party two weeks ago, the encounter with your ex has left you distraught. You feel re-traumatised and have barely slept or eaten since. Your friends are doing their best to distract you on your birthday, but even after everything he did to you, all you can think about is him.

"Happy birthday!!!" your friends chant in unison.

"Blow out the candles," Nobara squeals as she places the huge cake she and Yuji carried in in front of you.

Tears start to form in the corners of your eyes and a smile spreads across your face as you look at your friends. 'Don't forget to wish for something,' Toge signs to you, and you shake your head, telling him that you could really use a wish right now, before taking a deep breath and blowing out all the candles at once.

"Guys, I don't even know what to say," you croak, obviously touched by the successful surprise.

"You don't have to say anything," Maki says as she leans over to you, "in fact, don't say anything and don't tell us what you wished for, otherwise it won't come true."

You look around you and feel how warm and fuzzy your heart is starting to feel. You had spent your birthday on the couch with Maki today, watching a whole series of Halloween movies in anticipation of next week and eating so many snacks that you already felt sick by the time it was evening. Still, she had managed to convince you to go out for a few drinks to celebrate, so you ended up in your favourite bar. 

And now you were sitting here at your favourite table by the big window in the front, surrounded by your friends who hadn't texted or called you all day to keep up the illusion that they had forgotten your birthday. Maki, Nobara, Yuji, Toge, Yuta and Choso were all gathered around the table, with you in the middle.

Even some of the seniors had shown up, Gojo and Getou and even Hakari and Kirara had stopped by to wish you a happy birthday. Gojo was far too enthusiastic as he hugged you, lifting you off the ground a little as he did.

"You’re officially allowed to drink now, congratulations!" Gojo grins as he sets you back down and Getou just shakes your hand, scratching the back of his head with his other hand as he gives you an apologetic look for his boyfriend. "Happy birthday, y/n, I hope all your wishes come true," he says, squeezing your hand before pulling you into a gentle hug.

"Thank you," you chuckle, but you're quickly distracted by Kirara and Hakari shoving a huge bouquet of flowers into your hands.

"Wow, thank you guys, they’re beautiful." Don’t tear up again, what’s up with you tonight?

"I picked them out, Maki told me which ones were your favourites." You squeal a little as Shoko squeezes in between them. She had just come in and her clothes were still wet, but she hugged you anyway. She was so busy with med school that you hardly ever got to see her. Even though she was two years older than you, you got along really well with her and you loved spending time with her, even though you had far too little of it.

You chat with the others for a moment, listening to Shoko's stories about her day at the university hospital, or Getou's tale of how Gojo drank alcohol for the first time on his twenty-first birthday, and how he was so drunk at the end of the night that Getou had to carry him back to campus, walking for almost half an hour with him slung over his shoulder.

"Hey, I never drank again after that, so you really can't complain," Gojo protested and you saw how Getou squeezed his side, pulling him into his arms.

After a while, the small group decides to move on to the bar, and you thank them again, giving each of them a quick hug before returning to your table to sit with your friends.

As happy as you were at the surprise, and you were so happy, the grin seemed to stay on your face as Nobara handed you the knife to cut the cake, you still noticed how that feeling of emptiness came over you. 

Your cheeks were flushed with excitement, and as the knife slid through the cake and you lifted the first piece out, delighted to see a pink colour under the icing, strawberry being your favourite flavour, you couldn't help but think of Taylor's words.

It’s supposed to be fun, turning twenty-one

But it was only for a split second that you allowed yourself to think of him. Megumi, who wasn't here with you to celebrate your birthday. Your first birthday in two years without him. And yet, for the past two weeks, every time you looked in the mirror, you couldn't help but think of him, because you had to get up two hours earlier to cover the bruises he left on your neck with make-up.

Your skin was now only a pale green, it would heal soon. But the many wounds he had left on your soul didn't want to heal so quickly - almost every night you woke up from your sleep, the first week you had spent in Maki's bed again because you couldn't sleep alone. By now, the situations in which he had left you behind, traumatised and alone… they had piled up. 

Of your friends, only Maki had seen the extent of his actions the morning after the house party, she had spent an hour trying to talk you into reporting him—to no avail. And if the others had noticed how meticulously you'd been covering your neck for the past two weeks, they didn't seem to let it show. Well, except for Choso and Yuji at least, the two brothers were even more protective than they already were before, taking turns in walking you home from your classes.

A few days after your argument, Yuji even came to you and apologised, especially for what he had said to you in the end.

"What he did to you isn't your fault."

How badly you needed to hear those words, even if you had trouble believing them. 

"You always think of the others first, don’t you?", Nobara mumbles as she takes the knife out of your hands, puts a huge piece of cake on your plate and brings you back to the present, "Even on your birthday."

"I was raised to be polite," you say, chuckling as she nudges your side. 

"Being polite and considering yourself not important enough are two different things," she hums, and you knew she was right. You were also aware that she was not only referring to the cake here.

It had been raining all day, next week was already Halloween, and soon after that it would start snowing. You weren't ready for the dark season, at least not now, not in your state of mind. You should probably really start talking to someone, maybe even someone whose job it was to talk. You might be able to get some therapy sessions through the college administration and you decide to ask Shoko about it when you have the chance.

You zone out as you overhear your friends gleefully chatting, and you listen in silence as Maki tells the story of how you sulked half the day, between movie marathons and getting ready, because no one had wished you a happy birthday yet. You eat your piece of cake, concentrating so hard on not letting your facade crumble, until...

Ding!

Ding! Ding!

Almost hesitantly, you reach for your phone, but none of your friends had even noticed it. It was far too noisy in here for that, and anyway - it was your birthday. Probably someone who just remembered you and wanted to reach out before the day was over.

If only your eyes hadn't already fallen on the name that popped up on the screen.

Your heart starts beating faster.

You couldn't just walk out now, could you?

It would be utterly foolish of you, after your last encounter, to go out there alone. It was dark and it was raining, and if you told your friends who just messaged you, they wouldn't let...

"Guys, my mum's been trying to call me, but I've got no signal in here," you announce, already rising from the table, though not without first reaching for your jacket, "I'll try to call her back."

"Say hello to her from me," Yuji says and couldn’t help but grin, "and tell her that, despite her doubts, you loved the surprise." 

You look at him, a little confused, but then decide to just smile and nod. Great, it really didn't even take you two seconds to feel guilty about lying to your friends.

As nervous as you already were, you did your best not to trip over your own legs as you made your way through the people scattered all around the bar, laughing and chatting.

Three short messages and you had already forgotten all the nights you woke up next to Maki, drenched in your own sweat. You had forgotten how many meals you had skipped and how many cigarettes you had smoked at your kitchen window. The only thing your brain could focus on at the moment was Megumi waiting for you outside. 

You step out into the cool night air, goosebumps creeping up your spine as you pull your jacket tighter. The rain was beating down on the awning attached to the wall above the entrance to the bar, and as you waited, staring at your phone, a few cars drove by, but otherwise the streets were empty. Unlike the many bars and restaurants in the street, from here you could look into their brightly lit interiors and see couples or whole groups of people sitting around the tables, talking and laughing.

After a few minutes of waiting, you rummage in your purse for a cigarette and a lighter, but when you hear a familiar voice behind you, you flinch and drop it, straight into a puddle.

"Hey." You turn to see Megumi coming towards you in the dim light of a street lamp. You feel your heart pounding in your throat and your palms starting to sweat. He was completely drenched, the hood pulled down over his face, but the rain was dripping from the strands of hair that were sticking out and falling in his face.

"Hey," you reply, barely audible. You felt the anxiety creep up to you for a moment, but you tried to pull yourself together. Still, it seemed to show on your face when your eyes met his, and you weren't surprised at how worried he looked. Worried and tired and somehow — guilty.

For a brief moment you just stared at each other without saying anything. It was so strange, but what was the right thing to do in such a situation? You were confused, your body was sending you so many signals to escape the scene, to go back inside and leave him standing, and at the same time you were longing so much to feel his warmth and to forget everything that had happened.

Then, out of nowhere, Megumi takes a step towards you and pulls you into a tight embrace. You inhaled his scent, completely ignoring how soaked he was. He rested his chin on your head and you felt him take a deep breath before he planted a kiss on your hair.  "I know this doesn't mean shit," he murmured into your hair, "but I'm so sorry, baby." You freeze. "I’m so sorry for hurting you."

He sounded like a broken record. He was sorry every time he hurt you and then he did it again.

"It’s okay," you promise, sounding so heartbroken "it’s okay 'Gumi."

Was it okay? It wasn't like he broke your favourite CD, or stepped on your foot, or forgot about your date. When you looked in the mirror after showering, you could still see the marks of his fingers on your neck.

One,

two,

three,

four.

And a fifth where his thumb had pressed down, keeping you from taking another breath.

You stand there like that for quite a while, motionless, while he just holds you in his arms. You listen to the rain while tears ran down your cheeks, so overwhelmed by your own feelings. You didn't want this moment to end. You didn't want to deal with reality, and you certainly didn't want to deal with what would happen after this. "I missed you," you mumble into his chest, and it was the truth.

He doesn't answer.

He’s quiet, as usual. You always had a hard time reading him, you never knew for sure what was going on inside of him. But right now you could hear his heart beating faster and you feel his hand trembling as he stroked your back soothingly.

"'Told you I’ve got something for you," he mutters, drawing one arm away and fumbling in the pocket of his hoodie.

You pulled back and dared to look at him for real this time. He didn't just look tired, he looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks were sunken and his lean, muscular frame seemed to have lost a little bit of weight.

"Turn around," he whispers as you just stare up at him through big doe eyes. You think about it for a moment, but then you do as you are told. You weren't sure what was going to happen, and as his arms wrap around your body and you feel his fingers first on your collarbone and then on your neck, for a split second you feel panic rising up again.

Until you realize that he is brushing your long hair aside and you feel cold metal and a delicate necklace against your skin.

With skilful hands he closes the clasp at the nape of your neck and your fingers immediately run to the spot on your collarbone to feel for the silvery heart-shaped pendant.

"Happy birthday," he whispers into your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine for the second time tonight. Without a word, you turn around, searching his face for any sign of rejection, but finding none. Your eyes glisten as they meet his and a smile tugs at your lips, before you finally kiss him.

He seems surprised by your reaction, but after a moment's hesitation he returns the kiss, his hand gently moving upwards to the back of your head, pulling you in even closer.

"Thank you," you mumble against his lips, still smiling, "I love it, it’s so pretty." 

You were not ready to let him go. You were afraid he would leave and you didn't know when you would see him again. Not only had you not heard from him for two weeks, you hadn't seen him on campus either.

"You should really go back inside." You heard Megumi say.

"Please don't go yet," you beg, looking up at him, "I want to see you again."

"You've been out here too long, they'll wonder where you are." He was right. You looked down at the ground, upset that he had managed to get you so completely hooked again in such a short time. How were you going to pretend that everything was all right for the rest of the night?

He looks down at you, trying to read the expression on your face, before pulling you back in, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. "Text me when you're ready to leave, OK? We'll work something out." Your face lit up immediately upon hearing his words.

He lets go of you, leaving you unsure if you should kiss him again or not, and before you can even decide, he moves away from you. You take a step back too, hurt that he would just leave you like that. But instead of frowning, you just smile at him, without it ever reaching your eyes.

"I'll text you," you say, turning around just as he takes your hand and pulls you back, hugging you tightly and planting another kiss on the top of your head. He holds you for a moment and you can almost feel how hard it is for him to let go of you too, you could sense how bad he was feeling at the moment and how he tried to memorize as much of you as possible. Your scent, the way your body moulded just perfectly into his own, how your soft hair felt against the palm of his hand.

"I love you," he breathed against your hair, almost too quiet for you to hear.

But you heard him. 

For the first time in months, you heard him say it without you saying it first. 

For the first time in months, it felt like he meant it.

[alexanderlightweight]

Howdy, hope your week has been kind.

A Wednesday prompt: Alec's first birthday since he and Magnus got together. Preferably not super focused on immortality (angst or not)

Thanks! 💛

angst with a happy ending! no immortality angst because obviously Alec is going to be immortal at some point. i only write immortal husbands, though how they get Alec immortal can sometimes be left open to interpretation.

thank you! it has been a busy week with a couple unexpected dust storms that kicked allergies off and my asthma into gear so i spent like 18 hours yesterday in that 'i am medicated and semi-aware of the world but not really' stage and snapped out of it mostly in time to write today so i'm happy! i hope you are having a good week!

<3 lumine

-

Alec sighs in relief as he finally gets to the loft and when he enters, he hisses as the scent and presence of other nephilim and people hit him.

Magnus is standing there, splendid and magnificent and with a soft smile on his face… and he’s surrounded by Alec’s family and more shadowhunters and warlocks and even Maia.

“Nope.” Is all Alec says and he turns and walks out of the room, leaving to go for the rooftop stairs that had better still be warded to keep out pests. Because Alec is not in the mood for a party, surprise or otherwise and if anyone thinks he’s going to give in, they have another thing coming to them.

“Alec!” Izzy calls behind him, running to catch up and her strong, elegant and painted fingers catch on his elbow. “Hermano, it’s your birthday. Come on, we’re all here to celebrate.”

“And yet, I don’t want to.” Is all Alec says and he pushes her hand off and steps into the staircase, pleased when the door seals behind him.

He shrugs off his weapons as he climbs and leaves his boots and jacket on the bench near the roof door. He’s not sure what’s going on below, but he doesn’t care.

Alec’s made it clear that he doesn’t want a party, that he wanted to spend his first birthday with Magnus just the two of them. Especially when this week has been one exhaustion after the other and yet apparently, once again everyone else’s opinion matters more than his.

“Alexander—” Magnus says, when he opens the roof door less than ten minutes later.

“Are they gone?” Alec asks, interrupting him coolly and refusing to turn to look at Magnus.

“Yes, of course darling. If I’d realized how much you’d dislike it, I wouldn’t have listened to Izzy and Jace.”

“So why did you?” Alec bites out, because he can’t help himself. “I told you what I wanted and what I didn’t want, Magnus. So why did you even bother asking me if you were just going to ignore me? Why are Izzy and Jace’s opinions more important than my own? Especially when it comes to me?” Alec scoffs, “Izzy told me I owed it to myself and you to have a party the other day. I laughed at her, because you and I had already agreed to just take a day to ourselves. Now I realize it was her way of telling me to buck up and accept it, to just deal with the party.”

“Alec,” Magnus offers, and Alec just sighs and steps further into the garden and away from Magnus.

“I’m guessing the plans we actually made got canceled?” He asks and he can’t help that he’s being so terse. This is the first birthday he’s actually been looking forward to for ages and it’s once again ruined by his family.  The same way it is every year.

“Darling, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even consider how it might feel for you, Isabelle and Jace were so sure this would be what you wanted.”

“So, you cancelled them. Because Izzy convinced you she knew best. Which I don’t understand how she managed that, because you know how I feel about her ignoring what I want.”

“I know how much you love your family.” Magnus says, almost helplessly and Alec is getting really sick of his love for people being the reason why nothing he says matters.

“So? What does loving them have to do with always have to be punished for that love? I can’t have anything I enjoy? I don’t get to make choices? It’s all picked for me based on that love.” Alec sighs, “I was looking forward to tonight, for once. Now I just want to sleep and hope this day never comes again, the same way I’ve felt the last decade and a half.”

Magnus makes an involuntary noise and Alec ignores it, “I wanted to have this day, just with you. So I could enjoy it for once and now—” Alec sighs. “I think I’m going to take a walk, Magnus. I’ll be back later.”

Arms wrap around his waist before he can even think of heading to the edge of the roof and jumping off and then Alec is being bodily picked up and tossed through a portal.

“Magnus!” He yelps as he lands in sand, because this isn’t something he expected from his boyfriend. Magnus is normally great about giving him space when needed, a little too great sometimes.

“Yes, yes. You need to take a walk.” Magnus tells him, utterly sincere and his golden eyes calm and patient and filled with remorse. “This Isle is uncharted and undocumented to all but a few in the Spiral Labryinth, you can walk as much as you want for as far as you want. Around the whole Isle if you need to, there are no demons here to watch out for.” Magnus reaches out and then lets his hands fall with a soft, sad sigh.

“I got too swept up in the idea of showing you off, of proving how well we’re working together. Despite what we’ve talked about, it never occurred to me that Isabelle would be so inconsiderate as to…” Magnus pauses and sighs, “ah. In hindsight, that is something I should have realized sooner. I suppose I let my own hubris get to me, Alexander. Which isn’t an excuse, but I am sorry beloved. I never meant to corner you, especially not in our home.”

“Is it?” Alec asks quietly, because Magnus has never said or offered and Alec isn’t brave enough to go for it, not yet.

“Is it what?”

“Our home?”

“Of course, sayang.” And Magnus looks heartbroken, “have I never told you?” He asks, as if it’s unimaginable and when Alec shakes his head, Magnus reaches up his hands before he pauses. Unwilling to touch without permission when Alec is this upset.

Alec leans into the hold and sighs as Magnus’ warm hands cup his face and then he’s pulled so that they can both press their foreheads against each other.

“Walk with me?” Alec whispers, “I can’t talk. Not yet, but you can. If you want. Tell me about the plants and animals here? What kind of experiments you’ve done? Something just us, please?”

“Oh, darling. The stories I’m about to tell you.” Magnus promises him gently and his eyes crinkle like little gold moons when Alec takes Magnus’ hand.

This isn’t how he wanted it.

But this is what he wanted.

Magnus and he without any pressure of the future, just enjoying each other and learning more… after all.

It’s still new.

-

gonna be real, i get uncomfortable in the fics where izzy and jace pressure alec to do things he doesn't want to do and then he does them and meets magnus or makes magnus happy and alec's like 'wow yes i'm so glad my boundaries were ignored and my opinion mocked and it was totally worth being made intensely uncomfortable because i met magnus'.

and like, mood to meeting magnus but not mood to 'hey we know better than you because you're an introvert and a repressed queer so you need to listen to us because we know best' because i've had that vibe directed at me and it's so gross. and it's used in canon show too and never called out as manipulative and ick.

sorry to ramble on a fic fill and i don't think people should stop writing fics like that if they want them, i just tend to avoid them especially because it's a canon show trait that i hate and write out of my fics.

[hajimakitten]

𝙃𝙊𝙈𝙀𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙂. | poly!ot7 military boys one-shot

Author's note: since it's jinnie's birthday today, i figured that i'd post something that involved him finally. i really wanted to do something poly for them and thought that this was a perfect scenario! i hope you enjoy. remember that requests are open!

Seokjin stood outside his front door, heart pounding with a mix of excitement and melancholy. He had just returned from his military enlistment, eager to reunite with his beloved boyfriends. But as he reached for the doorknob, a wave of sadness washed over him. He had forgotten that they too had enlisted, leaving him alone during their absence.

With a heavy sigh, he stepped inside, the familiar scent of home surrounding him. The silence echoed through the empty rooms, a stark reminder of the void that had been left behind. He wandered through the house, memories of their laughter and love haunting him at every turn.

As he entered their shared bedroom, Seokjin's eyes fell upon the neatly made bed, untouched since his departure. The sight tugged at his heart, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He missed the warmth of their bodies, the sound of their voices, the touch of their hands.

Just as the weight of loneliness became unbearable, a soft sound caught his attention. He turned around, his eyes widening in surprise. There, standing in the doorway, were Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. They were all dressed in their military uniforms, smiles bright upon their faces.

Seokjin's breath caught in his throat, happiness flooding his chest. "You're here!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with disbelief and joy.

Namjoon, his leader and pillar of strength, stepped forward, his eyes brimming with love. "We couldn't let you come home to an empty house, Jin hyung. We missed you too much."

The others nodded in agreement, their faces glowing with affection. Yoongi, the calm and collected one, spoke softly. "We enlisted to serve our country, but that doesn't mean we forgot about you. You're the center of our world, even when we're apart."

Seokjin's heart swelled with love, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I thought I would be alone, but you've given me the best surprise. I love you all so much."

Hoseok, the sunshine of their lives, enveloped Seokjin in a warm embrace. "We love you too, Jinnie hyung. And now that you're back, we can make up for all the time we missed."

They spent the day celebrating Seokjin's return, laughter filling every room. They cooked together, sharing stories of their time apart, reveling in the simple joy of being together again. In their polyamorous relationship, their love knew no bounds, and it was evident in every touch, every glance, every word.

Namjoon, the wise and gentle soul, held Seokjin's hand, his voice filled with promise. "We might have been physically apart, but our hearts were always connected."

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow upon their faces, they gathered in the living room, bodies intertwined on the couch. Seokjin leaned against Namjoon's chest, Yoongi's fingers gently caressing his hair, Hoseok's laughter filling the air, Jimin's touch tracing patterns on his arm, Taehyung's mischief shining in his eyes as they relaxed side-by-side, and Jungkook's soft humming echoing in his ear.

Seokjin closed his eyes, savoring the blissful moment, feeling the love radiate through every fiber of his being. In their arms, he had found his solace, his sanctuary. Together, they would face every challenge, overcome every obstacle, and create a future filled with love and togetherness.

As the night settled around them, Seokjin whispered, his voice filled with gratitude. "Thank you for this beautiful surprise. Coming home to all of you is the greatest gift I could ever receive."

Namjoon's voice carried the weight of their collective love, his words sealing their bond. "You are our home, Seokjin, and we'll always be here to welcome you with open arms. Our love knows no boundaries."

And as they basked in the glow of their reunion, Seokjin knew that no matter what the future held, they would always find their way back to each other. Their love, resilient and unbreakable, would guide them through the darkest nights and into the brightest dawns. Together, they were a symphony of love, a testament to the power of their interconnected hearts.

[sequinsmile-x]

Followed My Fears All the Way Down

It was terrifying having so much of her happiness dependent on him, on the life they were building together.

-x-

This is a birthday present for my dear friend @ssa-sparks! I am forever grateful that this fandom brought me you. You make me laugh every day, put up with my nonsense and love my cat just as much as I do. You're without a doubt one of my favourite people on the entire planet, and I cannot wait to actually hang out in person sometime soon <3

I hope you enjoy this, it has all your favourite things - including, our idiots in love being in brief peril 😉

-x-

Words: 4k

Warnings: Canon typical violence/injury, mentions of blood, main character whump

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

“Em, we need to go.” 

She groans in response, checking herself over in the mirror one more time, and she hears Aaron chuckle as he walks into the ensuite of their hotel room. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her back against him as he kisses her temple, his eyes meeting hers in the mirror. 

“Can we just stay in here?” she asks, placing her hands over his, linking their fingers together over her abdomen, “Sleep some more,” she raises her eyebrows suggestively, “maybe make out a little.” 

Aaron chuckles again, “I thought you said this was the worst motel you’d ever been in,” he says, moving his hands to her hips as he turns her to face him, “Something about me being more comfortable than the bed.” 

They’d been in a small town in Ohio for five days, and the whole team were getting frustrated at feeling like they were getting nowhere. All of them missing their homes and their families. Emily and Aaron were grateful that the team now knew about them, having come clean about their relationship just a month prior, because it meant they could openly share a room. In the four months since they first got together, they’d snuck into each other's rooms, leaving early in the morning so they wouldn’t get caught. Now they got to wake up together and get ready side by side as they did back home where they spent more and more of their time at his place. 

She smiles, nodding as she wraps her arms around his neck, “I stand by it,” she leans in to kiss him, her lips quickly stamped against his, “I guess we’ll just have to solve this case and go home, your bed is much better than that piece of crap in there.” 

He smiles at her, not addressing the fact that she’d just referred to his apartment as home before he kisses her once more before stepping back, “You ready to go?” 

She nods in response and steps past him back into the bedroom, “At least if we are here another day or so I’ll get out of the event my mother is hosting this weekend.” 

The mention of it makes him falter slightly. She’d been complaining about it for weeks, the mere thought of spending an evening with her mother, surrounded by people who said so much but talked so little, enough to make her go a little crazy. Which is why he had hesitated in telling her the very thing he was about to bring up. 

“About that,” he says, stepping up behind her as she secures her gun and badge, “Your mother called me.” 

She freezes, her body tensing as his words register, and she turns to look at him, one of her eyebrows raised, “What? When?” 

“A couple of days ago,” he admits, clearing his throat as he watches her eyes widen, a humourless chuckle escaping her. 

“You spoke to her a couple of days ago and you’re only just telling me?” 

He blows out a breath, placing his hands on his hips, swallowing down the irritation that sparks in his belly. 

“We’ve been busy.” 

She scoffs, shaking her head at him, “We spend pretty much all of our time together, Aaron. Are you seriously telling me you haven’t had the chance to tell me you spoke to my mother?” She crosses her arms over her chest and clenches her jaw, the familiar defensiveness climbing up the back of her neck as it always did when her mother came up, “What did you even talk about?” 

“He asked me if I was coming with you on Saturday,” he says, and she feels her mouth go dry, the white lie she’d told him weeks ago that she couldn’t have a plus one echoing around her head. 

“Aaron-”

“Apparently you told her I was busy that night,” he cuts over her, his expression stern, his annoyance clear, “Which is funny, considering you told me I wasn’t invited.” 

She sighs and closes her eyes, gathering herself for a moment before she looks back at him, “I didn’t want to expose you to that part of my life.”

“I’ve met your mother before.” 

“But not as my boyfriend,” she replies, raising her voice a little more than she intends to. She blows out a steady breath, “She’s hard work, Aaron and…she always finds a way to belittle everything I do.” 

Emily hates how adolescent it sounds, how her mother can still make her feel like this, even through Aaron, but she can’t help it. Defiance she thinks she will never outgrow spreading through her chest. 

“I deal with sociopaths on a daily basis, Emily. I think I can handle your mother.” 

On any other day, the comparison would make her smile, but she doesn’t understand how this has gone so south, why he seems so offended, “Aaron…what is the big deal? I’m sorry I lied, I know I should have just talked to you about it, but it’s not a problem. I probably won’t make it now anyway.” 

Aaron sighs, and he wishes he’d never brought it up, that he’d waited until they were back in DC, but he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since he’d spoken to Elizabeth. The insecurities that had been sparking in the back of his head since he’d first woken up next to Emily catching fire, every concern he had about their relationship suddenly bigger.

From the moment he’d kissed her it had confirmed what he’d known for years. That he loved her, that he had been in love with her for much longer than he cared to admit. For weeks he’d held it back, not wanting to spook her. Only whispering the words against her skin after she was asleep. She’d caught him out a couple of weeks ago, still awake as he murmured the words. She’d turned in his arms and asked him to repeat them, and smiled at him as he did. She’d kissed him and fallen asleep in his arms, her smile still present on her face. 

It was only the following morning he realised she hadn’t said it back. 

He’d tried again a couple of times since, and her response had always been similar. Something he wanted to believe was love shining in her eyes as she hugged or kissed him, an edge of desperation to it that he could never place. 

“Maybe this all just means you’re not as serious about this as I am.” 

Her mouth drops open and she scoffs, shaking her head at him, “Are you fucking kidding me?” She exclaims, “I’m not serious about us because I didn’t invite you to some shitty event my mother is hosting?” She throws her hands up in the air, her cheeks warm with the annoyance she can’t keep in her chest, “I practically live with you.” 

“And yet you don’t want me to be a part of that part of your life?” 

“It’s not that-”

“Then what is it?” He demands, his voice stern in a way it rarely was with her. 

She doesn’t know how to put it into words, how to express to him that she felt like, no matter how he felt, she had to protect him from that part of her life. Even though he could handle himself it would give him an insight into something she didn’t want him to see. The part of herself she wishes she could give up entirely. 

“I-”

There’s a knock at the door, and Derek’s voice follows it, “Sorry to interrupt, but we need to get going.” 

Emily stares at Aaron momentarily before turning to the door, “We’re coming.” 

“You can’t run away from this, Em,” Aaron says, and she freezes on the spot, clenching her hands at her sides. 

“No,” she replies, flashing him a look, “I can’t, but we have work to do.” She opens the door and the cool air from the hallway hits her she walks out into it. She clenches her teeth, her jaw so tense she’s worried it could fracture, and she hears someone behind her clear their throat. 

“Trouble in paradise?” 

She turns to look at Derek, the playfulness slipping from his expression as their eyes meet, “Shut up, Derek.” She makes a point of bumping his shoulder with hers as she walks past him. 

“Em, I was just kidding-”

“We have work to do,” she repeats, cutting over him as she continues to walk away, “The sooner we get it done the sooner we can go home.” 

___

Things are tense between them all day. 

Slightly barbed comments back and forth, the rest of the team exchanging concerned looks as they finally make progress with their case. 

They track the unsub to an abandoned building just down the block from where the first victim had been found. She ends up in the SUV with just Aaron on the way to the scene, both of them silent and staring straight ahead, the weight of their crossed words that morning still heavy in the air. 

When they arrive they both get out of the car and start securing their bullet-proof vests, and the usual concern she feels when they are about to walk into danger makes her stomach roll. Their jobs came with risks, they both knew that, but that risk seemed so much more significant since they’d got together,

“This guy is probably going to be hostile,” Emily says, looking at him as he velcros his vest into place. The other SUVs pull up behind them, and the rest of the team start to leave the cars. 

“He’s devolving, but we’ll be careful,” he replies, smiling tightly at her as he pushes his earpiece in, and Emily does the same.

She winces as she immediately pulls her earpiece back out, feedback from her microphone still ringing in her head. 

“Son of a bitch,” she says, drawing the attention of Aaron from next to her as the rest of the team approaches them, “My mic is broken.” 

“Prentiss’s comms are down, so she’s with me,” Aaron explain to the others, making sure his earpiece was secure as he adjusts his bulletproof vest. 

“I don’t need babysitting-”

“You’re with me,” he says firmly, cutting over her harshly. She tries to argue again but sees the fear brewing in his eyes. Concern for her peeking out from underneath his work persona and the annoyance he clearly still feels from their argument that morning. 

“Ok,” she concedes, feeling the team's eyes burning into her, “I’m with you.” 

The team splits up. She and Aaron take the top floor, Derek and Spencer the one below, and JJ and Dave the first floor. 

She hears movement as they walk down the hallway, someone's poor attempts at being quiet echoing around them. Aaron looks back at her, and they have a silent conversation as he tilts his head towards the room they’d heard the noise coming from. He goes in the room first, and there's a beat of silence before all hell breaks loose. 

Two gunshots happen almost simultaneously. 

The unsubs bullet hits Aaron right in the centre of his vest, knocking him backwards into the wall. Emily’s bullet hits the unsub, killing him instantly before he falls to the ground. 

“Shit,” she says, sighing as she holsters her gun, “He was more prepared than we thought we would be,” She says, and there is no reply, she turns to look at Aaron. He was still against the wall, his hand pressed into where she’d seen the bullet hit his vest, probably winded from the speed of the shot. “Are you ok?” 

“Em…” 

He pulls his hand away, and she feels dread flood her entire body as blood seeps out of the visible hole in the dark blue kevlar. 

“Oh my god,” she exclaims as she makes it to his side, attempting to catch him as he slides to the floor. She hits the ground next to him, her hand pressing into his abdomen where the blood was pouring from. He groans in pain and she looks at him, her eyes meeting his, “You’re ok, honey, you’re ok,” she clears her throat, pressing down harder into the wound, “Aaron’s been hit we need help,” there’s silence, and she frowns, wondering why she doesn’t get a response. 

“Your comms aren’t working,” he reminds her, his voice ragged, every breath full of effort and pain, “Mine have been knocked out.” 

“Shit,” she says, looking around them, desperately wondering what to do, “They’ll have heard the shots,” she says, not sure which one of them she was trying to assure, “We need to get your vest off so we can put better pressure on the wound.”

He nods, and she pulls the velcro off, ignoring how her hands shake, how her vision goes blurry with tears she refuses to shed. He yells out in pain as she pulls the vest off of him, throwing it away without a second glance. 

“I know it hurts, I’m sorry,” she says, pushing her hands firmly against the bullet wound, his shirt soaked with blood, “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s ok,” he replies, and she shifts between looking at his face and the door they came through, hoping someone from the team would arrive to help them soon. She feels him touch her face, and she looks at him, the feeling of his fingers against her skin achingly familiar, “I love you, Emily. I-”

“We’re not doing this now,” she replies, leaning down to press her forehead against his for a second, kissing him briefly before she sits up a little straighter, the angle pulling at her neck, “We aren’t saying goodbye because you’re going to be ok.” 

She feels the words she’s been pushing back for weeks aching to escape, but she doesn’t want it to be like this. She doesn’t want him to think that her love for him was nothing more than an admission made of fear. 

“Em-”

“Prentiss, Hotch?” 

She looks over to the door and sees Derek and Spencer rush through the door, their guns lowered as they see the unsub on the floor behind them. 

“Aaron got hit,” she says, her voice surprisingly steady as Derek kneels next to her, Spencer on Aaron’s other side. 

“The bastard must have had armour-piercing bullets,” Derek says, “We need an ambulance,” he instructs before nodding, and Emily knows he’s had a response through his earpiece that one was on the way, “You just have to hold on a little longer Hotch,” Derek says, an encouraging smile on his face, “Or Prentiss here will kill you herself.” 

The laugh that leaves her is ragged, and it catches on her ribs, threatening to choke her as it fills the air around them. 

“Exactly,” she says, “See even Morgan knows-” she cuts herself off as she looks back at Aaron’s face, his eyes drifting closed, a stream of blood trailing from his mouth down to his ear, “Aaron, I need you to wake up,” she pauses for a moment and her desperation mounts as she doesn’t get a response, “Aaron.” 

“Reid, I need you to take over from Prentiss,” Derek says, standing up as Spencer nods, placing his hands over Emily’s on Aaron’s abdomen. 

“What, no-” Emily exclaims, her hands slipping off of Aaron as Derek hauls her upwards, pulling her back, “Let go of me, I need to-”

“You can’t help him right now, ok?” Derek says, all too close to her as his breath skips over her, holding her close as if she was going to bolt if he let go even a little, “The ambulance is here, JJ is bringing him up.” 

She hates that she can’t hear any of what is being said by the team and that she feels reduced to this. That all she can do is stand there, Aaron’s blood on her hands, dripping onto the ground beneath her as she sags against Derek. 

“I love him, Derek,” she says quietly, her voice low enough that only he hears her. The EMTs enter the room, quickly followed by JJ and Dave. 

“I know you do, Princess,” Derek replies, and he kisses the side of her head, comfort she doesn’t want but cannot fight as she watches the paramedics work on Aaron, “He knows too.” 

She hopes she hasn’t lost the chance to tell him. 

___

The first time he wakes up he fights the intubation. 

The surgery had been long, minutes feeling like hours as she sat in a waiting room, her leg bouncing up and down as she repeatedly counts the tiles on the floor. Something, anything, to keep her mind off of the fact that she just might lose him. 

As soon as they find out that he made it through surgery, nothing short of a miracle according to the doctor, she sends the rest of the team back to the motel, claiming she’d be ok. She wasn’t entirely sure that was true, but she wanted to be alone with him and she knew he’d hate for anyone other than her to see him like this. 

All she can do is stand back as the doctors try and calm him, more people than she cares to count as they flood the room once she presses the call button. She can almost feel it in her own throat as they pull the tube from his, the phantom sensation haunting her. A ghost of a memory of when she’d woken up alone and confused, dead to everyone who knew her. He isn’t awake for long, the anaesthesia in his system still winning the battle. It’s only when a nurse taps Emily on the shoulder and looks at her with a kind smile as she passes her a tissue that she realises she’s crying. 

It reminds her of the moment she’d been alone with Dave once the ambulance arrived at the hospital. How he’d pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped at her cheek, quietly telling her she had blood on her skin. 

When she’s alone with him again she takes her seat back by his side. Now, with the intubation gone, it almost looked like he was sleeping normally, the same slack expression on his face that she loved to see on the rare occasion she woke up before him. He always slept facing her, as if even subconsciously he wanted to make sure she was the first thing he saw when he woke up in the morning. 

Emily reaches out for his hand. His skin was cold, something she knew logically was from blood loss, but it still shocks her just like it had when she first walked into his room. He was always so warm. Heat and love and forever radiating off of him whenever he was near, a comfort that she hadn’t known could exist before him. 

“I’m sorry,” she says, her eyes fixed on his sleeping face, “I know I was…I shouldn’t have lied to you,” she shakes her head at herself as she thinks of their argument, how it felt so stupid now, “I’m so…I’m so afraid of being happy,” she admits, her vision blurring as her eyes fill with tears, “I don’t think I’m very good at it and you make me happy, Aaron. And it scares the absolute shit out of me because I don’t know what I would do if I lost you,” she chuckles bitterly, the irony of that statement given her surroundings not lost on her at all. 

She still remembered the moment she realised she was in love with him, that the secret feelings she’d been harbouring for her boss were much more than the crush she’d told herself it was. It was a moment far too similar to this for her liking when she found him after Foyet had attacked him. She hadn’t held his hand then, she couldn’t have no matter how much she wanted to, her thumbnail in between her teeth to stop herself. 

Any feelings she’d had for him had been buried so deeply inside of her after that she sometimes allowed herself to pretend they weren’t there. She told herself that she drove him to and from work when he first got back because it was the right thing to do. That she covered his medical bills that his insurance didn’t because he was her friend. She’d found out since that he’d felt the same way, that he’d loved her too. 

Then Aaron had buried her. 

They came close to something more than friendship just before Doyle had torn through their lives, but it was fleeting. A flash of hope that she’d worried had died out entirely, embers on a fire that had never been able to fully ignite. 

The first time he kissed her, it felt like everything had been leading up to it. As if everything they’d both been through, no matter how rocky, had somehow forged their path to each other.

She loved him, but she hadn’t said it. Not because she didn’t feel it, or because she didn’t want to, but because the words didn’t seem enough. They came nowhere near explaining how she felt about him, how he’d taken up so much more of her heart than she thought possible. 

It was terrifying having so much of her happiness dependent on him, on the life they were building together. 

She sighs as she rubs her thumb over the heel of his hand, hoping to press some of his usual warmth into his skin. She looks down at their joint hands, marvelling as she always did at how they fit together. 

“I…I love you, Aaron,” she says, something in her chest easing at the admission, “I love you so much that it terrifies me, and I hate that it does but…” she drifts off, unsure what she’s even trying to say, her nerves fried from seeing him hurt, from fear. 

From relief that he was going to be ok. 

“Em?” 

She looks up, and her eyes meet his, “Aaron.”  She stands up and sits on the edge of his bed, leaning in to kiss him, “I’m so glad you’re awake.” 

“What happened?” He asks, his voice rough. 

“You were shot,” she explains, swallowing thickly, adjusting his hospital gown to do something, “It was…close.” He’d coded in the ambulance in front of her, an image she knew she wouldn’t ever be free of. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, squeezing her hand, and she chuckles, shaking her head as tears flood her eyes. 

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t ask to be shot.”

“I’m sorry I scared you.” 

She blows out a shaky breath, lifting their joint hands to kiss his knuckles, “I’m ok,” she promises him, “Much better now you’re awake.” 

Aaron smiles sleepily at her, his eyes hazy from pain medication, “I love you too, by the way.” 

She freezes, her eyes wide in a way that makes him smile wider, “You…you heard that?” 

He nods, tugging at her hand just enough that she knows he wants to kiss her. She leans in and presses her lips to his, grateful that she could, that he was still here. 

“If I’d known me getting shot would have made you finally admit it,” he mumbles against her lips, pulling back to look at her, “I would have done it weeks ago.” 

She huffs out a breath, “Aaron.”

“Too soon?” 

She chuckles dryly, “Far, far too soon. It might always be,” she pushes some of his hair from his forehead, her fingers trailing against his skin, “I’m sorry for this morning.” 

“Me too,” he says, squeezing her hand. 

“We’ll talk about it when you’re better?” She offers, knowing there are still things they needed to discuss. Insecurities they both needed to air to move forward in the way they both wanted. 

“Ok,” he agrees, and she feels the last bit of tension in her chest ease, “We do have to figure out one thing though.” 

She frowns, tilting her head slightly at him, “What?” 

He grins at her, a smile she knows is fuelled by pain medication and a desire to see her smile, “How to convince your mother I didn’t get shot just so we don’t have to go on Saturday.” 

“Aaron.” 

-x-

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[ofmermaidstories]

Hii Mermie hii! 🥺 happy belated birthday 🎂🪅 im so sad I missed it! 😭 hope you had an amazing day, eat los of cake and had so many flowers! 🌸🌼🌺🌻⚘ im so behind everything, havent read your latest story but by the looks of it im gonna cry! AND I spent a lot of time trying to gather my thoughts from SJLT to send to you, and the time passed, but let me tell you, I didn't expect the route you went for at all! like if I had a feeling what would you do, I was wrong in a very interesting, adventurous way... I cry almost the entire chapter, reader was so fearless, helping in what she could, Deku trying to save, and save her and Bakugou (😭😭😭) and the quirk! and how reader and Dwku were apart for almost 2 YEARS!!!! how could you! (in a good way), the damn fish, Mineta! Deku got to recover from his arm surrounded by experts and readers life had to go on, and I loved how she had that time to healed, learn, do what she wanted for herself, go on vacation, be with family 😭😭😭😭😭 it was really very bittersweet, but im so happy they earn they're happiness, and that at last they got to found each other again ❤ can't wait for the conclusion with Todoroki, I know that we'll get more info of the story in there, thank you for your words, your talent in them and how you make me feel o lot of things.

Pd: feel like this is not even close to everything that I felt while reading it but ugh I had to send you this anyway ! 💖💖💖

(a note: it’s not my birthday, i’m just answering this incredibly late :’))

psi. 💕 were you very surprised by the heel turn?? i have to admit, being in my own head like i was while plotting, it didn’t occur to me while writing it that our little detour during the ending would be—unexpected!! the trilogy has always been about the long game, so i’d definitely been looking at it from an over-arching angle. 🥹 shouto’s fic ends around the same time as deku’s! they go hand in hand, so while deku and scribbles have to deal with being on opposite sides of the planet (standing on opposite sides of a river of stars), shouto and his reader will be in the thick of things. 🥹 but i think deku and scribbles needed the time they had to heal. 🥺 they both went through so much.

psi!!!! thank-you so much for being apart of the fic while it was updating, and being there for the end. 🥹 your sweet messages have always meant to so much to me, as has your patience. i know you’ve found new stories to fall in love with, by now, and new adventures for the anime boyfriends you love to go on, but i want you to know that i’m always—then, now and still—so glad that you found these ones. 🥹 thank-you so much psi, always and always. 🌷🌾🎐💕

[the-bird-and-the-flute]

Ikegen - Yoritomo - Love Letter

Pairing: yoshino (ooc) x minamoto no yoritomo

Warnings: maybe a bit suggestive

Word count: 926

A/N: although this is my 2nd yoritomo's fic, it was the first one I wrote, probably after that event yoshino had a baby. Yoshino's personality here is different from our 'original' Yoshino. And btw, this is also my belated gift to yoritomo for his bday. Happy birthday sadist shogun :D

Prompt: Yoshino is a fighter and works for the shogunate. She got injuried in a battle and physicians told her to rest for a few months. She is bored and decided to send a 'love letter' to his husband, Yoritomo.

As the seii-tai-shogun, people surround Yoritomo all the time, so he built another house just so his family could have some privacy.

Although Yoshino loved their private residence, she also visited Yoritomo's 'official' room in the palace quite often. However, due to her condition, she must not leave her place for the time being.

Their kids are always visiting her. They usually don't spend all day with her because they must follow strict rules and traditions in the shogunate. Most of the time, they sleep in another area of the palace.

While she loves her kid to death, she is still bored.

Yoshino is a very active person, who works a lot on a daily basis, so being on complete bed rest is the worst thing that could have happened to her.

Seii-tai-shogun's lady just wants to enjoy her life to the fullest.

But her husband is perceptive. He knows her more than anyone else. Yoritomo made sure to order guards and maids to watch her 24/7 when he is not around.

He didn't tell her, but the truth is that he gets desperate to think of the possibility of losing her. The shogun will do everything in his power to guarantee she will fully recover.

Yoshino is not dense as some women in Kamakura, she is aware that her husband is doing all this because he loves her deeply.

But she will obviously blame him for ruining her life. Who does he think he is to stop her from doing something?

On another tedious day, Yoshino had an idea. She was in a bad mood (again) and decided to send a love letter to her dearest husband. Or something like that.

"Let's see if I can ruin your day too, Seii-tai-shogun. Hehe"

"Kanako, could you please send this letter to my lovely husband?"

"Of course, my lady. Ohh... how romantic! No wonder everyone in Kamakura says that you are the best couple in all city. I wish I had that kind of chemistry with my husband..."

"Hehehe, I can't deny that we were made for each other. But let me tell you... Don't compare my relationship with yours. Believe me, it's a bad idea. We are both crazy. Me and that demoniac man."

"Hehehe. I don't see how Yoritomo-sama could be like that. But, well, it will be my pleasure to deliver your letter, my lady."

After the maid left, Yoshino signed defeated.

"It looks like people don't actually believe that we are a weird couple. They really don't know Yoritomo's true nature it seems... Oh well... It's not like it's my fault. I warn them all the time."

"Now, let's hope that idiot will read my love letter soon."

Meanwhile, Yoritomo is in the palace working. He spent all day long discussing plans for their next expedition. They have a battle coming, and he can't afford to lose it.

It's a shame that he can't bring his wife with him to the next war. Now that the kids grew up a bit, Yoshino is joining them often.

As he was checking some papers, a guard enters the meeting room to deliver something to his lord.

"Yes. What is it?"

"A letter for you, Yoritomo-sama."

"A letter? I'm busy right now. But I'll check it as soon as I can."

"As you wish, my lord. The maid told me this letter is not urgent and not related to this meeting."

"I see. Thank you. By the way..."

Yoritomo makes a sign for the guard to approach him so he can ask something in private. "How is she?", murmurs the lord to his subordinate.

"Oh... The maid who is watching the lady said she is recovering without major occurrences."

"I see. Make sure to ask someone to check on her in a few hours. I want to know everything about her routine."

"Yes, my lord."

The meeting was longer than expected, and after four hours of deliberation, Yoritomo is finally alone in the room. Before he could leave, he takes the letter the guard gave him.

He was desperate to visit his wife, so he was a bit annoyed to waste any more seconds with work obligations.

*signs* "I hope it's not another problem... I just want to focus on my family now."

"Huh? What kind of letter is this?"

Yoritomo opened the anonymous letter and once he saw what was the content of it, his distinctive smirk was evident.

"Huh, you have guts, woman, I'll give you that."

After reading it, Yoritomo heads straight to Yoshino's place. She was bored staring at the ceiling when he enters her room unannounced.

"It seems someone here missed me a lot lately."

"Oh, so you got my letter, Yoritomo?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did you like it?"

"That was a lovely letter indeed. I was so touched that I can't forget what I just read. Especially that part you said you hated me and that I was a terrible husband because I didn't let you do anything."

"I'm glad you like it. I was so inspired to show all my love to you in that love letter. After all, all Kamakura says we are the best couple in town, so I need to step up my game as the shogun's wife hehe."

"Haha, that's right. We must live up to their expectations."

Yoritomo takes his time to walk toward his wife, thinking of the best way to entertain Yoshino without hurting her. One way that only the weirdest couple of Kamakura could think of.

[firestorm-can]

Hey-o folks! How're you all doin' tonight?

Yeesh... what a crazy year we've had, huh? 2024 will only have three hours left on the Pacific time zone by the time this post goes up-- then the next leg of our journey on this madhouse we call planet Earth begins. Not everything went the way we would've wanted it to, and there's a lot of uncertainty heading into the new year. Who knows what might happen as the clock keeps turning.

For me, there was a lot of big hits and major misses this year. I'm just glad I've been able to get through this year with all of you, whether you were following me or not.

Leaving the shithole that was once Twitter and starting over on Bluesky was the best decision I've made this year. I was also glad to change up this blog to be more light-hearted with game clips, gifs and other's artwork added to the queue. There are certainly causes I will fight for, but I don't want that to be the main focus here or there--If there's one thing I want to be known for in this world, it's to brighten everyone's day and help look beyond their troubles. Even for just a moment.

Splatoon 3 certainly took up a lot of my attention this year, and I'm happy to see you guys enjoy all those silly and epic highlights. From the controlled chaos of Side Order to the serious business of Salmon Run, many of my evenings and weekends were spent in the Splatlands and the surrounding areas. With new content all but completed, it's now a matter of waiting for the new hardware and the next game. They'll be plenty more from this octoling in the meantime, I assure you.

One other thing I'm happy to see is the love you guys are giving to Mapleton and its residents--this island was a real labour of love between @blueeyedrat & I and I'm proud to share our experiences, past and present, living our island lives. We've only scratched the surface with our album archive--there's more to reveal (and rebuild) in the new year!

With Neopets making a resurgence under new management, I've been getting back there a lot more often. It hasn't been a smooth run, but there have been major steps in the right direction: daily tasks, the revival of classic games, a new plot and lots and lots of fixes and quality of life improvements. I'm glad to see the site come to life again, and will be cautiously optimistic about the next year. Happy 25th birthday, Neopets!

One thing I'd really like to do is play more of my game libraries, both on Switch, PC and even my old 3DS. I know it's gonna be a huge ask given my work schedule, but there are many titles I've yet to finish nor have even touched yet. I wanna be able to play and post more game clips here, and share the enjoyment and the frustration I felt in the process. And with the new Nintendo hardware set to be revealed next year, I wanna be sure to cover as much as I can. Hope you guys enjoy it!

My portfolio has been in several places on the net and I would love to share them here too, but there's a hitch that needs to be addressed first: With the explosive rise of Generative AI and their data scrapers, I've got to take some protective measures to ensure these parasites regret trying to steal my work. As someone who's aiming to be a graphic designer long-term, I want to bring my work to you guys without having those greedy, lazy techbros rob me of my future.

One huge step I plan to take next year is push my graphic design business to the next level. To be perfectly honest, I spent way too much time at the warehouse and the commute this year and I'm suffering major burnout. I've been severely hampered by my job schedule this year and have had to limit the number of projects to take. That changes in the new year--I'll be working towards setting up a new presence in the Vancouver convention scene and online. There are two events I'm gonna be there for to start the year:

Vanhoover Pony Expo (Staffing) - January 17-19, 2025

Vancoufur (Vending & Attending)- March 6-9, 2025

More to come as they're announced!

It's a long, dark road ahead, but I'm ready to travel on it with all of you. See you all in 2025!

[dogthorcesschet]

Who Do You Say I AM

A memoir…

by  Princess Joy Decano

Preface

They say people with schizophrenia have conversations with themselves and that’s what makes them insane.

But when I went to the church service that day, I knew the conversation I was having with myself is much bigger than what they’ve said about me and all those who were diagnosed as crazy….

​Who are you? A voice whispered in my head

​And a voice I recognized as myself said, “I am”

Chapter One

Where I Think It Began

​My 18th birthday was very special. Many would take it as their 16h birthday had to be big and grande, but I truly didn’t need a celebration that year of my life. Truthfully, I just wanted to be with my papa. My 16th birthday was not only shared with my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary on the exact day of my birthday, but the very person I needed most to be there, wasn’t.

On that day, I put on an act for everyone. This jolly, I am happy, but don’t leave me attitude, because I knew once I’d have even the slightest amount of time alone, I would fall into a deep sad state, one that I soon learned was depression. While we’re talking about birthdays, can I mention that the very year I needed the love the most was forgotten by all except two? It was my thirteenth’s birthday. Don’t get me wrong, all years are important to be remembered, but this one weighs over all, because it is the year I entered my first teens.

The day went on as a normal summer day, I told no one, but I woke up expecting a surprise of some sort. I woke up in this great mood, feeling like I was going to have this attention from all of my loved ones. But as the day went by, without any special recognition, I began to realize that no one had remembered my birthday. So with my disappointment, I hoped that it would just be ignored.

Quite frankly, that might have taken an effect into how I view my birthday to this day. Call it PTSD, but every year after that day, I despise having the attention and hope everyone would just act normal on my birthday. I become super insecure, shy, and even scared to make another year.

So on my 18th birthday, I didn’t have one of those huge parties with my family and friends or anything, but I had a very small get together celebration with my family. And I didn’t care to have one, because I was glad enough to be surrounded by the people who loved me, and vice versa. But what made it so much more spectacular was that I was finally with my mom, pops, and brother all together in the same country, same zip code, and same location. And here’s a plus, I celebrated it with my grandmother, Mommy Tonning and my extended family from my papa’s side.. I haven’t seen them in the same amount of time I haven’t seen my papa.. Which was 9 years long. Or probably even longer.

​We spent my birthday having a picnic by the Golden Ears lake in BC Canada. It was such an amazing panoramic view. The sky was blue and the clouds were shaped like cotton candy. There were pine trees everywhere, blueish green water, and green rock mountains.

As I took off my shirt to go swimming with my cousins, my little cousin, Papot, noticed my belly button ring right away and said “WOOOW” as she pointed at my ring. My whole family saw it then. And I remembered my papa’s favor when I was 11 years old..

��You can have your 2nd piercing in your ears, but don’t ever pierce your belly button.”  my Papa said.

And my cheeks flushed like a stove top as I remembered that moment, but I acted as if it were normal to have one. I looked at my dad but he avoided eye contact and looked at his food as he poked his fork on his food.

After we swam around for a bit and sat down to eat, Mommy Tonning said with a chuckle “Don’t get a nose ring or I won’t welcome you in our house ever again,” but I sensed she wasn’t kidding.

​Later that night my aunts, Mama Yet and Mama Jojo, and I got into talking; about my life, who I’m dating, what extracurricular activities I’m doing… and then we talked about Jesus.. Do I believe in him? Do I pray? Am I “saved?” that kind of stuff. I told them, “I believe there is a God. But I believe more on the people, how we communicate with one another.. And how we treat others and the things around us.. You know like ‘An it harm none’... Harm no one, harm no thing”

“As long as you believe in God. If you really want to get to know him, talk to him when you’re all alone in the quiet. You can even go in the bathroom after you’re done with your business and look in the mirror and say to yourself, or even whisper: Lord, I want to know you. Please speak to me, Amen.” Mama Yet said casually.

​That night, after I showered and wiped the fog from the mirror, I stared into my eyes -as if I can see my soul through the mirror’s reflection- And spoke to it like it was a joke that I took seriously.

​Though, there were no sparks, nor any revelations or anything magical. So I stopped talking to the mirror and got dressed. Told no one about it, and just carried on.

​The very next day we watched videos of my grampa’s birthday mixed with the Christmas Day celebrations we had. And as I watched and realized how much I missed my grampa, how I barely knew him and yet I felt such closure with him, I began feeling that frog on my throat. But with my pride, I excused myself from the scene and headed to the kitchen to draw my tears out and drain it down my throat with cold hearted water.

He was a great man I thought, anyone and everyone he’s encountered can tell it. And as I prepared to head back, his memory became so vivid to me. How I took it for granted, how I didn’t treasure it enough when he was here.

When he was sick and dying, I had not thought of visiting him or seeing him. Telling him how much I loved him, if I even felt any sort of fun kind of loving for him.

I’ve written him a farewell letter and burnt it for beliefs purposes when I was in junior high school, but seeing him again in these videos felt like there was more I could have done. More to thank him for. More to love him for. More to share about him to others.

So here goes to my dearly loved, admired, and missed grampa, Daddy Johnny.

Thank you Daddy. You raised my papa to be a good man, and as to his siblings, my aunts and uncles. You’ve raised them to be great people. To share their wisdom and stories. To show humility, and be truthful towards others. And because you’ve taught them well, they’ve taught me well. Even if you were just a glimpse to me, your memory will always be in my heart till the day I see you again.

I will always remember how you let me pet your chickens and little chicks. How you always knew to give my mom this very specific plant everytime we come up in the mountains for you. And though those are all the moments I can remember having with you, the stories my papa and my aunts have told me about you will live on in my heart.

After watching the videos and sharing laughs and stories and reflections with each other, we called it a night and headed to bed.

I nearly drowned that night. My face was stuffed with tears and tissues.

A few days later, my mom and brother had to leave back to New York, my mom had work and my brother had an exam to take.

I was left with my papa and everyone else.

We shared more cups of coffee, more stories, more recipes, and more laughs and moments we could not ever get back.

Then it was time.

My other aunt, her family and I began to pack up to leave for the next stop of my adventure, San Fran, Cali.

But that night before, came a hard slap on my face.

Chapter Two

Retaliation

The night before my aunt, her family and I headed to California, I was going through pictures and documents to transfer into a memory card for my papa.

​After finishing it up so quickly, my inner nosey kitty kicked in and decided to play with my papa’s documents and such.

​Curious of what his life was like, curious of what he’s been up to all these years I’ve not seen him. I looked at his folders.

​“One Fun Night” it was named. Interesting.

​The pictures were all PG 13. Well, actually since the disney movie called “Up” is now considered rated PG, then these pictures are also probably considered PG.

​There weren’t much showed. Just a bunch of drunk guys drinking and laughing. But there was this young lady with another lady friend, that looked like they were passed around for a picture or whatever the fuck they might have done with them.

​As you can fuckign tell, I wasn’t pleased by this.

​So I thought of one thing.

​​​Retaliation.

​My views, my perspectives, my whole life seemed like complete bullshit lies.

My idea of him was so high off the perfect radar and for years I defended him and now I know they were all just deceptive ideas.

Retaliate. I thought again.

Finally it was time to leave that very next day, and we first dropped him off to his job interview.

I was expected to say our farewells. But I was furi-fucking-tated. So I gave him the slightest, cold hearted hug with a face no one would have ever been able to read, because it was a face I’ve never used towards those I loved before.

He said some meaning full, shit of crap i paid no mind to, and kissed my forehead as I said nothing but “uh huhs”.

I told no one about it for months.

And as I went on about with my aunt and my explorations in California, I thought nothing but this word.

​​Retaliate.

And when I got back home to New York, I thought of one word.

​Retaliate.

And as I smoked weed with my friends, I thought of one word.

​​Retaliate.

When I started neglecting my good friends and my grades, I thought of one word.

​​Retaliate.

When I had sex with different partners at different times, I thought of one word.

​​Retaliate.

When I became friends with a grower and sold baked brownies in school, I thought of one word.

Retaliate.

When he asked me to move to Canada with him for college, I said no and thought of one word.

​​Retaliate.

When I got kicked out of the school’s Volleyball team. I thought of one word.

​​FUCK!

Chapter Three

Nothing Is Ever As It Seems

For years I constructed my life to revolve around education and scoring good friends. A good reputation to mask the troubles I had with myself and those who got and were getting in the way of my freedom.

I was strong-willed. Even with all the crap and pressure I got from my family and unnecessary stress from my boyfriend at the time, I managed to make corny jokes in school and with my girls in the volleyball team. I always believed there’s something for me to get out of all of this. I stared at the empty wall of my uncle’s living room everyday and ignored all the mess everyone’s left on the couch and wished for something greater. I imagined my future as a bright happy lifetime with a man who’d come with me everywhere I want to travel to and never want to hinder me from doing what it is I wanted, and together we become a success story everyday.

When I got back to NY, I abandoned that dream and replaced it with rebellion and carelessness.

Man, oh man, how I spent the rest of my days after my trip in the West coast was just a pure avalanche in the mountain I constructed to be perfect.

​Here’s how I spent most of my days:

First period: Science. Wake n bake in the shower.

2nd period: Math. it’s all about planning and timing. leave for school, walk pass the station, smoke a cigarette joint like a boss and greet the cop good morning with a smile. Enter the deli and get a bagel and cream cheese and a small coffee, milk and sugar please.

3rd period: Free period. volunteer at the front desk, file documents

4th period: Leadership class. paint draw or whatever, i don’t remember. Usually: Phone rings, “meet me by the auditorium”, “how much you need?”

Bell rings: walk by the women’s bathroom near the auditorium. Greet with a kiss. Hand over the peanut.

5th period: Computer Science.Sleep, drown in music

6th period: Lunch. leave to go to the park. Roll the blunt. Smoke it. Set alarm for next period. Fuck around.

7th period: Theater. No wonder some actors perform intoxicated, it makes it feel real. Easy.

8th period: English Drama class. A bore, but why not, this gets me involved in field trips.

9th period: no class. back at the park. Business hour, be sober, sell some more.

10th: no class. eye drops, lotion, perfume, gum. back at Coach Hanif’s for regroup

After school: Volleyball practice. Play time, my sanctuary -the only reason why I even bother coming to school and some of these classes.

6pm: friend’s place for homeworks and projects After practice, another joint. Another game of cards. Another mess around.

8pm: Mother calls. “On my way home from practice.”

8:30pm: Get home, first stop is the fridge. Menu: omelet with last night’s chicken adobo and some veggies.

I did everything with all the wrong intentions and used my goody two shoes image as my advantage. Instead of coming home late from attending school events and extra curricular activities I’d normally do with my good friends, I left and skipped classes to find that ganja and waste my time laughing at no matters and fuck around with people I once thought were dumb asses.

​But turns out I was wrong about most things I thought to be true. So when I didn’t find the clarity, I blamed no man but God. He was the source of everything, so it was much easier to blame the guy who’s in charge.

But that was probably why this had to happen. I got to understand each and one of them. Them who also thought of the word, Retaliate.

I realized how broken they were, and how desperately they needed something to keep them together.

I needed to understand them so I can have the chance to understand myself.

They were like me. Some were like me. Some just didn’t have anything better to do. But maybe because they weren’t encouraged enough, or believed in themselves enough.

​Again, maybe they were like me.

​But anyhow, I felt like I knew them. That all that everyone’s said about them were all also deceptions.

Because they were pretty much rejected.

​I’ve always been told that people have their stories to tell and to be kind to others. And I fully understood that when I met this dude in my art class sophomore year at the very park I wasted myself in.

​He was like me. Except he’s been rejected way earlier than I was. I then realized how wrong I was to ever reject him because everyone I looked up to did.

​He was someone in the class no one even noticed there or wasn’t at all there.

​And that one day he decides to come to class and sit in the back as he usually would, but this time laughing his high ass off of just staring at some art, and was suddenly noticed and grilled at for acting out and being a wreck.

​So when I saw him there in the park, and acknowledged me as if I was no alien in that community, it struck me how incredibly ignorant I was.

​How incredibly ignorant and clueless those mentors were.

​How greatly misjudged so many people were with what seemed to be in the surface.

​And that’s how my perceptions of everyone I thought to be my heroes and heroines have changed. And boy did I realize how I’ve been swimming out in the shallow shore I thought and perceived to be the ocean.

​So there I began to renew my thoughts and try to find light in the dark shadows that were casted by those standing right at the lights, creating the shadow these men and women stand on because those up front leave no space to share light with them.

​I then started delving into religion and what was being taught in each and one of them. Trying to get into the roots of where it all came from. Connecting the dots.. Only to lead me back into a place I’ve already been before, this time seeing it with a different perspective.

Chapter Four

Exploring The World To Find Truth.

I explored astrology in the midterms of my Junior year before my aunts and I even talked slightly about Jesus. I made a very well thought decision before considering this conversion by the way, just to be clear.

I found out that before Catholicism was invented by men, there were these sacrifices and procedures men did to please God. These procedures that some religions like Catholicism, ‘till this day, practice and continue to pass down into generations.

​I had this perception that if I just go down into the roots of all these religions and get down to the real business with God, who was in the beginning before all were created, I would be practicing what he wants us to practice in the first place.

​And Wiccanism, I thought, is the closest religion there was to worshiping God and getting on His good side. So maybe He can turn my life around.

​So there I was, with a witch that a good friend introduced me to, sitting on an apartment building’s basement staircase, opening my chakras and transferring energies so that I can access a part of my brain that can make me level up with  and be like God.

​I spent some nights laying on top of our wooden picnic table in our backyard, smoking dope on my tiny elephant bong I called Skippy. There I praised the beauty of the stars and the moon, and the trees that were getting in the way of my sight of the higher beings. Even the wind that passed through.

​And for a moment, I even thought they were all talking right back to me. Whispering me secrets and ideas in the white noise people bury in the back of their minds and carry on with their lives.

​Boy, did I get that all miscalculated. Though, I now understand why that had to happen then. Little did I know that going down deep on that rabbit hole to find the true meanings of what God wanted for me would only lead me to drift away from Him.

Chapter Five

Mentor, Not Guardian

It was all good, I lived on the edge as they may say. And yeah, I felt judgments right before any eyes have even laid eyes into these left out details in my life. I knew I wasn’t going to be proud remembering this about me. I did it anyway, and I didn't mind leaving this vessel broken and defeated. I just wanted everything to go light years away from me and be free at last.

​To be completely frank, the only thing that kept me together was playing volleyball with my girls. I didn’t do it for the resume, neither did I do it for scholarships or popularity. I did it because being with my girls and seeing how we treated each other as sisters made me feel like I’m really not alone in this journey.

​I felt belonged. Maybe it was because I didn’t have to use my words to express my weaknesses and strengths, I just had to use the ball to express it and beat my muscles to know I’m capable of feeling. Most of all, concentrating on keeping the ball in the air and mastering the science of putting it where I want it to kept my mind off any other issues. Not that I didn’t like expressing my thoughts on paper, it just leads me to ponder and analyze - which I can do at home to cry and day dream. That was why I avoided home at all costs.  

​But when my coach, the mentor whom I thought would get it over most, kicked me out of the team rather than suspending me. My world finally collapsed. And said he did it for the sake of the reputation of the team.

​At the time, and even years later, I blamed myself. I knew it was me who was at fault and did it consciously. The part I never understood was, how could he have missed my changed moods and actions.​

​So there I was, in his shared office, discussing the action I didn’t make.

“You lied to me” he said.

Lied about what? I thought but stayed silent.

“You know what that means right?” he asked then.

I truly didn’t know, I just knew I was in deep shit. The problem was, I wasn’t even smoking a darn thing, I just didn’t rat out to him that one of my team mates smoked and I just got caught being with her by two other guys who helped out during our season.

I left that room with river tears and a heavy load on my chest. I was off the team.

That day, I cried and sobbed as if I had just gone to my own funeral. So before I could even finish half of my day in school, I thought I’d just leave and find something else to smoke instead. It was all pointless anyways.

My world fell apart before the day could have even started.

I was FUCKED.

And I did it all by myself to myself, because of that one word I thought of. Retaliation.

Chapter Six

Lost Control, Lost Myself, Lost It All

What.

Is.

Happening.

To.

Me….

I just woke up, but am I really awake?

I’m buggin’.

This is a dream.

I’m dreaming…

Wait.. No. This is real, I just woke up..

I’m so confused.

I’m going back to bed.

“Inchet, GET UP! YOU HAVE SCHOOL!” mother yelled.

Ugh, shit. Let me get dressed.

I really don’t feel good. Why does it feel like I’m in a dream. But is reality even real?

Am I real?

………

At this point, I knew I was in school. But I don’t exactly remember what happened and how I ended up in the nurse’s office. I was obliterated.

“Hello? Sweetie? Talk to me child. How many fingers am I holding up?”

No physical reply

“What should we do? Should we call the ambulance?” the nurse said calmly to my guidance councelor

“Princess?” My guidance counselor asked.

She put her hand on my left shoulder and asked again as i looked up to her “Princess, do you wanna go to the hospital?” “You have to talk to me sweet heart”

Still no physical reply.

Don’t tell them anything

Wake up

Go left

Turn right

Wake up

Whispers in my head. I’m struggling to listen to what they’re trying to tell me, but it’s hard to listen to what they’re saying in my head and to what they’re saying in their physical form..

“Hanif?” I finally whispered aloud.

“Hanif?”

“Someone call hanif here”

Soon it was only me and Hanif in the room. And all I can remember is his worried eyes and he was saying something, but all I could hear was his voice in my head talking subliminally about me with Kumari and Xue’s voices.

Then my mother came running at the door and all the adults were in the room. I don’t remember much, but the paramedics came in and flashed my eyes with flashlights and they were saying something to me and to each other, but I didn’t know how to respond.. As if I was being carefully watched by someone from above, that my words can be used against me if I ever say a word to anyone. My fear of speaking up was because those watching me in my head were so strong, I lost in touch with those who were actually in the same world I lived in.

I remember sobbing like a neglected baby in the ambulance on our way to the hospital. Then laying on a bed in the ER, looking around and thinking I’m in between heaven and earth and that God’s making a choice whether I stay on Earth, or go to heaven…. And probably… more likely to hell - considering all the things I’ve done against his will..

Chapter Seven

What’s Underneath The Surface

Three weeks at the psych board, I made some really good friends. More rejected individuals if you ask me. Half the time I didn’t really think any of them were crazy, until one of them stopped taking their medications and started knocking on windows like there was a secret code he’s using to open them up.

But there was a man, said he was bipolar and his mother took him up there to deal with his issues.

I thought it was offensive, after my time with getting to know him.

​He would write out these bible verses and send them over to me to read. And may I say, the man had really good insights, and not to mention how gentle his heart was.

​They diagnosed me with schizophrenia. It’s when you hear voices and see things that are not actually there and that no one else hears or sees but you do.

​I stopped feeling weird and started gaining back control over my thoughts and life, so they let me go after three weeks. During that time, I spent most of it in my room writing and drawing things. I didn’t even get to think about what’s happening in school and how much I was missing, since I was practically rejected by all my extra curricular activities and even worse, I rejected my friends before they rejected me. So I had really nothing to look forward to going back to.

​I did have a lot of family visits though. My mom came everyday to check up on me. My uncle visited me once and said something like “You were the one that needed help and we didn’t even know..” Now that I think of it, it hurts a little to know that they cared, they just didn’t know how much to care.

​In fact, after that time being there, the ones whom I thought were close to me, weren’t even close to me at all, like my friends and my teachers. I thought they were the ones who knew me better than others. Instead, they knew me just as much as my family knew me. Which was just the surface of how much I’m actually feeling inside. My papa, the one I held a grudge on, couldn’t even get a hold of me. My cousins all wrote me a card, and my aunts and uncles did too. They were touching, but I honestly didn’t like the attention..

​I wasn’t used to all the attention, and it really made me sick in the stomach.

​When I came back out, everyone was talking about me. How I gained bumps in places I didn’t used to have. I overheard someone say “she got bigger all over in a short time,” when I passed by. I just kept moving, though it hurt just a pinch.

​The worst part was when my cousin told me that her workmate, a friend of mine from middle school, somehow found out I was hospitalized. As it turned out, she was a mutual friend of my friend in high school. That really angered me. I confronted my friend and soon lost him.

I regret that now. He just cared about me and wanted to find out details from Michelle since she knew my cousin. I didn’t know what the right reaction was, but that sure came from anger and it was wrong.

Chapter Eight

Jesus Loves You Retreat, Retreat

​A few months had gone by and summer came. I graduated with no

awards, no recognitions, no medals, no pins. I ended up as a nobody, nothing to show for, nothing to be remembered by but that girl who got hospitalized, or God knows what else they said about me.

I was even barely in the year book. I was considered “Fashionable” in there, but the picture they chose to put up of me was when I was wearing something super basic.

Pfft. That’s what fashionable is, they could have just taken something from my facebook that was more fashionable.

Then again, I made them my enemies before they became my enemies. It was a fault of my own design.

​So when summer came, I hung out with just my family. My aunt who was always supportive of me invited me to a Retreat. It was about a week long with no cellphones and we talked a lot about Jesus.

​The weirdest part was that I actually felt Him there. It wasn’t like I was seeing Him or that I saw a ghost or heard voices of people that no one else heard.

​The first night was frightful. I was alone, and when they said “lights out” it meant ALL LIGHTS OUT. I had no phone to distract me, or pens or pencils to write on. So I was alone with my thoughts. So I prayed.

​If God is for me, nothing can come against me.

That was a prayer that stuck to me from childhood. If I could remember, I think I may have fallen asleep praying, or let’s just say, chatting with God.

​Now to think of it, I think they really did all of that with the purpose to get closer to Jesus, because when we fear we have no one else to turn to but Him.

​Fast forward to the night before the end of the Retreat, learning songs to sing about Jesus, learning about the things he’s done, it was time to submit to him. They said, ask for three gifts and one by one, enter this room and kneel to pray for them. I asked for the gift of tongues, vision, and understanding. Then when I came out, two leaders, one of whom was my cousin, Rebecca, prayed over me. And boy, let me tell you. When my cousin placed her hand over my head, I felt this warm, wet, tingling sensation spilling slowly over my head. I somehow knew that was the Holy Spirit. I shed tears.

It was neither a sad nor a happy feeling, but it meant something I can’t describe, but it was liberating. As if I just let go of something and felt relief, or had gotten an award for some work I’d beaten myself up for.

​That’s when I understood that God had to take me into the middle of everything, from my success, from my despairs, from things I mindfully and intentionally did out of spite, and He pulled me out of this darkness I thought was light to help me understand this was the best way He could ever explain to me how much He wants to show me and understand understand that Jesus, came down from heaven to earth so that he can share the truth that was free to us from all our hurt and sufferings.

That Jesus already sacrificed Himself so that there would no longer be any more sacrifices to be done in accordance to the moon or stars or other natural things, because Jesus Himself has done the most super natural thing. Which is through His miraculous events, even ever since His unnatural and supernatural birth up till His crucial death and reappearing alive in flesh within three days time.

Chapter Nine

God With Princess Joy Decano

They say people with schizophrenia have conversations with themselves and that’s what makes them insane.

But when I went to a church service one day after years of being “saved”, I knew the conversation I was having with myself is much bigger than what they’ve said about me and all those who were diagnosed as crazy….

​Who are you? A voice whispered in my head

​And a voice I recognized as myself said, “I am”

I am? I am who? I am what? What did that even mean I thought. And over time I pondered over the statement and let it sink. Though the sinking didn't get me anywhere.

So I kept reading the bible, every night, every spare time, and took notes of what I’ve read and what was being taught in church.

And often, I would converse and learn even more with my aunt, Mama Jo, and I think having her invite and send me to the Retreat made us closer to each other and to the Holy Trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit).

Even before the retreat, and even before I spent my birthday in Canada and met with my papa, she had always told me stories about God and Jesus and all the miracles, and the saints, I mean all of it. Back then she called them “lectures” to me they were bedtime stories. And now, they’ve turned into conversations and discussions.

We talked about life and where God has taken me, and I finally mentioned to her the statement I’ve gotten from that one church service I went to in the city, at Times Square Church.

“I heard a voice, but it was more like a thought and it didn’t sound like someone else’s, it was more like mine” I said to her.

“That’s your conscience. That’s God’s voice,” Mama Jo Responded. “So why did I just hear I am? I am what? He didn’t finish the sentence. I even had to ground myself and say I am Princess Joy just to feel normal and sane,” I said to her.

“I just got goosebumps”

“I am, in Hebrew means Yahweh. When we introduce ourselves to others I am Jocelyn, we’re saying God with Jocelyn,” she sincerely said.

I felt that warm sensation again. The Holy Spirit was connecting us to Jesus, to our God.

Long live our king.

Citations:

God explained the meaning of Yahweh by placing it in parallel with the similar-sounding Hebrew term “I am”

Durgin, C. (n.d.). 'I am who I am'? the meaning of god's name in exodus: Biblical mind. The Center for Hebraic Thought. Retrieved 2023, from https://hebraicthought.org/meaning-of-gods-name-i-am-exodus/

[sh0ek0]

it's supposed to be fun, turning twenty-one (part 3.5)

A/N: Part III was quite long and almost a year too late and I realized that I don’t love it as much as I thought I would. This one's shorter as I’m not sure if I should continue with the series, the last part didn’t perform as good as the first two and I'm unsure where the story is going from here. Anyways, I hope you’ll enjoy this &lt;3

genre: little bit of angst, dk if this counts even as a hint of fluff given the overall storyline?? just a small drabble content warning: hints of abuse, hints of toxic relationship, emotional dependency, nothing too explicit I guess, aged up characters, college au pairing: Megumi x reader word count: 2.8k

summary: after the party a two weeks ago, the encounter with your ex has left you distraught. You feel re-traumatised and have barely slept or eaten since. Your friends are doing their best to distract you on your birthday, but even after everything he did to you, all you can think about is him.

recommended songs: we fell in love in october - girl in red / First Love/Late Spring - Mitski / JAMIE - Montell Fish

"Happy birthday!!!" your friends chant in unison.

"Blow out the candles," Nobara squeals as she places the huge cake she and Yuji carried in in front of you.

Tears start to form in the corners of your eyes and a smile spreads across your face as you look at your friends. 'Don't forget to wish for something,' Toge signs to you, and you shake your head, telling him that you could really use a wish right now, before taking a deep breath and blowing out all the candles at once.

"Guys, I don't even know what to say," you croak, obviously touched by the successful surprise.

"You don't have to say anything," Maki says as she leans over to you, "in fact, don't say anything and don't tell us what you wished for, otherwise it won't come true."

You look around you and feel how warm and fuzzy your heart is starting to feel. You had spent your birthday on the couch with Maki today, watching a whole series of Halloween movies in anticipation of next week and eating so many snacks that you already felt sick by the time it was evening. Still, she had managed to convince you to go out for a few drinks to celebrate, so you ended up in your favourite bar. 

And now you were sitting here at your favourite table by the big window in the front, surrounded by your friends who hadn't texted or called you all day to keep up the illusion that they had forgotten your birthday. Maki, Nobara, Yuji, Toge, Yuta and Choso were all gathered around the table, with you in the middle.

Even some of the seniors had shown up, Gojo and Getou and even Hakari and Kirara had stopped by to wish you a happy birthday. Gojo was far too enthusiastic as he hugged you, lifting you off the ground a little as he did.

"You’re officially allowed to drink now, congratulations!" Gojo grins as he sets you back down and Getou just shakes your hand, scratching the back of his head with his other hand as he gives you an apologetic look for his boyfriend. "Happy birthday, y/n, I hope all your wishes come true," he says, squeezing your hand before pulling you into a gentle hug.

"Thank you," you chuckle, but you're quickly distracted by Kirara and Hakari shoving a huge bouquet of flowers into your hands.

"Wow, thank you guys, they’re beautiful." Don’t tear up again, what’s up with you tonight?

"I picked them out, Maki told me which ones were your favourites." You squeal a little as Shoko squeezes in between them. She had just come in and her clothes were still wet, but she hugged you anyway. She was so busy with med school that you hardly ever got to see her. Even though she was two years older than you, you got along really well with her and you loved spending time with her, even though you had far too little of it.

You chat with the others for a moment, listening to Shoko's stories about her day at the university hospital, or Getou's tale of how Gojo drank alcohol for the first time on his twenty-first birthday, and how he was so drunk at the end of the night that Getou had to carry him back to campus, walking for almost half an hour with him slung over his shoulder.

"Hey, I never drank again after that, so you really can't complain," Gojo protested and you saw how Getou squeezed his side, pulling him into his arms.

After a while, the small group decides to move on to the bar, and you thank them again, giving each of them a quick hug before returning to your table to sit with your friends.

As happy as you were at the surprise, and you were so happy, the grin seemed to stay on your face as Nobara handed you the knife to cut the cake, you still noticed how that feeling of emptiness came over you. 

Your cheeks were flushed with excitement, and as the knife slid through the cake and you lifted the first piece out, delighted to see a pink colour under the icing, strawberry being your favourite flavour, you couldn't help but think of Taylor's words.

It’s supposed to be fun, turning twenty-one

But it was only for a split second that you allowed yourself to think of him. Megumi, who wasn't here with you to celebrate your birthday. Your first birthday in two years without him. And yet, for the past two weeks, every time you looked in the mirror, you couldn't help but think of him, because you had to get up two hours earlier to cover the bruises he left on your neck with make-up.

Your skin was now only a pale green, it would heal soon. But the many wounds he had left on your soul didn't want to heal so quickly - almost every night you woke up from your sleep, the first week you had spent in Maki's bed again because you couldn't sleep alone. By now, the situations in which he had left you behind, traumatised and alone… they had piled up. 

Of your friends, only Maki had seen the extent of his actions the morning after the house party, she had spent an hour trying to talk you into reporting him—to no avail. And if the others had noticed how meticulously you'd been covering your neck for the past two weeks, they didn't seem to let it show. Well, except for Choso and Yuji at least, the two brothers were even more protective than they already were before, taking turns in walking you home from your classes.

A few days after your argument, Yuji even came to you and apologised, especially for what he had said to you in the end.

"What he did to you isn't your fault."

How badly you needed to hear those words, even if you had trouble believing them. 

"You always think of the others first, don’t you?", Nobara mumbles as she takes the knife out of your hands, puts a huge piece of cake on your plate and brings you back to the present, "Even on your birthday."

"I was raised to be polite," you say, chuckling as she nudges your side. 

"Being polite and considering yourself not important enough are two different things," she hums, and you knew she was right. You were also aware that she was not only referring to the cake here.

It had been raining all day, next week was already Halloween, and soon after that it would start snowing. You weren't ready for the dark season, at least not now, not in your state of mind. You should probably really start talking to someone, maybe even someone whose job it was to talk. You might be able to get some therapy sessions through the college administration and you decide to ask Shoko about it when you have the chance.

You zone out as you overhear your friends gleefully chatting, and you listen in silence as Maki tells the story of how you sulked half the day, between movie marathons and getting ready, because no one had wished you a happy birthday yet. You eat your piece of cake, concentrating so hard on not letting your facade crumble, until...

Ding!

Ding! Ding!

Almost hesitantly, you reach for your phone, but none of your friends had even noticed it. It was far too noisy in here for that, and anyway - it was your birthday. Probably someone who just remembered you and wanted to reach out before the day was over.

If only your eyes hadn't already fallen on the name that popped up on the screen.

Your heart starts beating faster.

You couldn't just walk out now, could you?

It would be utterly foolish of you, after your last encounter, to go out there alone. It was dark and it was raining, and if you told your friends who just messaged you, they wouldn't let...

"Guys, my mum's been trying to call me, but I've got no signal in here," you announce, already rising from the table, though not without first reaching for your jacket, "I'll try to call her back."

"Say hello to her from me," Yuji says and couldn’t help but grin, "and tell her that, despite her doubts, you loved the surprise." 

You look at him, a little confused, but then decide to just smile and nod. Great, it really didn't even take you two seconds to feel guilty about lying to your friends.

As nervous as you already were, you did your best not to trip over your own legs as you made your way through the people scattered all around the bar, laughing and chatting.

Three short messages and you had already forgotten all the nights you woke up next to Maki, drenched in your own sweat. You had forgotten how many meals you had skipped and how many cigarettes you had smoked at your kitchen window. The only thing your brain could focus on at the moment was Megumi waiting for you outside. 

You step out into the cool night air, goosebumps creeping up your spine as you pull your jacket tighter. The rain was beating down on the awning attached to the wall above the entrance to the bar, and as you waited, staring at your phone, a few cars drove by, but otherwise the streets were empty. Unlike the many bars and restaurants in the street, from here you could look into their brightly lit interiors and see couples or whole groups of people sitting around the tables, talking and laughing.

After a few minutes of waiting, you rummage in your purse for a cigarette and a lighter, but when you hear a familiar voice behind you, you flinch and drop it, straight into a puddle.

"Hey." You turn to see Megumi coming towards you in the dim light of a street lamp. You feel your heart pounding in your throat and your palms starting to sweat. He was completely drenched, the hood pulled down over his face, but the rain was dripping from the strands of hair that were sticking out and falling in his face.

"Hey," you reply, barely audible. You felt the anxiety creep up to you for a moment, but you tried to pull yourself together. Still, it seemed to show on your face when your eyes met his, and you weren't surprised at how worried he looked. Worried and tired and somehow — guilty.

For a brief moment you just stared at each other without saying anything. It was so strange, but what was the right thing to do in such a situation? You were confused, your body was sending you so many signals to escape the scene, to go back inside and leave him standing, and at the same time you were longing so much to feel his warmth and to forget everything that had happened.

Then, out of nowhere, Megumi takes a step towards you and pulls you into a tight embrace. You inhaled his scent, completely ignoring how soaked he was. He rested his chin on your head and you felt him take a deep breath before he planted a kiss on your hair.  "I know this doesn't mean shit," he murmured into your hair, "but I'm so sorry, baby." You freeze. "I’m so sorry for hurting you."

He sounded like a broken record. He was sorry every time he hurt you and then he did it again.

"It’s okay," you promise, sounding so heartbroken "it’s okay 'Gumi."

Was it okay? It wasn't like he broke your favourite CD, or stepped on your foot, or forgot about your date. When you looked in the mirror after showering, you could still see the marks of his fingers on your neck.

One,

two,

three,

four.

And a fifth where his thumb had pressed down, keeping you from taking another breath.

You stand there like that for quite a while, motionless, while he just holds you in his arms. You listen to the rain while tears ran down your cheeks, so overwhelmed by your own feelings. You didn't want this moment to end. You didn't want to deal with reality, and you certainly didn't want to deal with what would happen after this. "I missed you," you mumble into his chest, and it was the truth.

He doesn't answer.

He’s quiet, as usual. You always had a hard time reading him, you never knew for sure what was going on inside of him. But right now you could hear his heart beating faster and you feel his hand trembling as he stroked your back soothingly.

"'Told you I’ve got something for you," he mutters, drawing one arm away and fumbling in the pocket of his hoodie.

You pulled back and dared to look at him for real this time. He didn't just look tired, he looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks were sunken and his lean, muscular frame seemed to have lost a little bit of weight.

"Turn around," he whispers as you just stare up at him through big doe eyes. You think about it for a moment, but then you do as you are told. You weren't sure what was going to happen, and as his arms wrap around your body and you feel his fingers first on your collarbone and then on your neck, for a split second you feel panic rising up again.

Until you realize that he is brushing your long hair aside and you feel cold metal and a delicate necklace against your skin.

With skilful hands he closes the clasp at the nape of your neck and your fingers immediately run to the spot on your collarbone to feel for the silvery heart-shaped pendant.

"Happy birthday," he whispers into your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine for the second time tonight. Without a word, you turn around, searching his face for any sign of rejection, but finding none. Your eyes glisten as they meet his and a smile tugs at your lips, before you finally kiss him.

He seems surprised by your reaction, but after a moment's hesitation he returns the kiss, his hand gently moving upwards to the back of your head, pulling you in even closer.

"Thank you," you mumble against his lips, still smiling, "I love it, it’s so pretty." 

You were not ready to let him go. You were afraid he would leave and you didn't know when you would see him again. Not only had you not heard from him for two weeks, you hadn't seen him on campus either.

"You should really go back inside." You heard Megumi say.

"Please don't go yet," you beg, looking up at him, "I want to see you again."

"You've been out here too long, they'll wonder where you are." He was right. You looked down at the ground, upset that he had managed to get you so completely hooked again in such a short time. How were you going to pretend that everything was all right for the rest of the night?

He looks down at you, trying to read the expression on your face, before pulling you back in, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. "Text me when you're ready to leave, OK? We'll work something out." Your face lit up immediately upon hearing his words.

He lets go of you, leaving you unsure if you should kiss him again or not, and before you can even decide, he moves away from you. You take a step back too, hurt that he would just leave you like that. But instead of frowning, you just smile at him, without it ever reaching your eyes.

"I'll text you," you say, turning around just as he takes your hand and pulls you back, hugging you tightly and planting another kiss on the top of your head. He holds you for a moment and you can almost feel how hard it is for him to let go of you too, you could sense how bad he was feeling at the moment and how he tried to memorize as much of you as possible. Your scent, the way your body moulded just perfectly into his own, how your soft hair felt against the palm of his hand.

"I love you," he breathed against your hair, almost too quiet for you to hear.

But you heard him. 

For the first time in months, you heard him say it without you saying it first. 

For the first time in months, it felt like he meant it.

[buckyalpine]

hii so im not sure if you’re taking requests but if you are could you maybe to one where readers dog is having to be put down and she’s like rlly rlly upset and bucky comforts her? just like fluff x100 Im going through this right now and idrk what to do :/ thank you if you make it and if not I love all of your other works :)

Warnings: pet loss, angst, fluff

I don't even have a pet myself (I do babysit one) and this made me bawl ffs. I'm ugly crying so hard writing this rn. I'm so sorry this is something you have to go through, I'm sending you all the hugs, every single hug imaginable.

I imagined this with beefy Bucky, where he's still uncomfortable with physical touch which is why his comfort is so significant here.

You walked into the compound with red puffy eyes, you hoped and prayed that you wouldn't run into anyone because you didn't need anyone asked you what was wrong. Your sweet baby looked at you with tired eyes from the crate, it was like they knew. They blinked before putting their head down again, resting on one of their favorite teddies to play with.

You felt another wave of tears seeing them close their eyes, too tried to stay awake till you got to your room. You tried to get there as fast as you could before the cries escaped your lips. Bucky watched you carefully as he sat in the kitchen with his coffee, distress was evident on your face but he didn't want to pry. You ran to your room and locked the door, taking your fur baby in your arm for a final day of loving and hugs.

"I'm sorry baby" You whimpered, holding them close to your chest. They nuzzled into you, their paw on your shoulder, looking up at you and licking away some of the tears. Their eyes looked happy, as if they was ready. They knew it was their time and they needed you to know too.

It's okay mama.

You spent the day doing everything you could with them, giving them all the treats you could, taking them to their favorite spot in the park and giving them all the belly rubs you could. You took as many pictures as you could; you knew it would hurt each time you looked at them but you never wanted to forget this day.

Evening rolled around and you felt inconsolable. They slept by your side while you cuddled them close, you knew they had lived a long life. You'd given them every ounce of love you could but it still didn't feel like enough. If you could have just one more day. One more.

*****

You arrived back to the compound, all their little things in a box. Their collar. A little tag with their birthday date. A little clay mold to remember their paws. You hadn't told anyone because the sympathy would have hurt more but now the silence that filled your room was unbearable.

Bucky walked by your room, hearing your soft cries and the absence of paws pattering on the floor. His heart dropped, connecting the dots, he knew you didn't say anything but there was no way he was going to leave you alone during this time.

"Y/n" He knocked your door softly, while calling for you, only getting a muffled whimper in response. He opened the door, to find you wrapped up in your blankets, your face buried into your pillow to silence your sobs.

"I'm here, its okay" He didn't second guess anything, pulling you into his lap and tucking your body against his large frame. He wrapped his arms securely around you, surrounding you with his warmth, your hear resting under his chin. He made you feel protected, like you had someone to look after you again; less untethered while he held you firmly.

You tried to bite your lip to keep your cries in but the stronger he held you the harder it was to keep everything inside. Your face was in his chest, tears soaking his shirt as you let all your emotions go, melting into Bucky's arms.

"I'm here, I'm here angel, shhh" Bucky's voice was soft, his lips pressing soft kisses onto your head. His hands soothed you, rubbing your skin while your body trembled, his heart breaking because he'd only ever seen you smile.

The night wasn't easy, you'd woken up searching for your baby, only to find their spot empty. Bucky made sure he was there for you the entire time, holding you to his chest,

"Do you want to talk about it?" He whispered when he knew you were unable to fall asleep. You swallowed thickly, your throat feeling hoarse. Had anyone else asked you, you may have said no but Bucky was different. You nodded, recalling all the memories you had from when they were a puppy and all the adventures you had along the way.

"You loved them so much, couldn't have asked for a better mama" Bucky smiled down softly at you, his hand lacing with yours. "You took such good care of them. Even if it was just for a little while, you made them really happy. Showed them so much love. That's all they ever knew, how much you loved them"

You nodded, sniffling while he continued to hold you.

"Now you have all these beautiful memories with them. Those will never go away. They'll always be with you y/n, always" He kissed your forehead while you closed your eyes, your heart feeling a tiny sliver of peace. Even if you didn't have them forever, you had the best few years with them and you wouldn't have traded that time for the world.

"You can cry if you want to, I know the pain won't go away but you don't have to hold it inside. I'm always here to listen if you need"

And true to his word, Bucky made sure he checked in with you regularly. He had no problem hugging you through the night. During nights you found it difficult to be in your room, he quickly carried you over to his. The rest of the team were surprised to see him let anyone else there but he didn't feel an ounce of discomfort.

He knew pain. He thought about all the time all he needed was a hug and how he was met with cold silence instead. He would never let that happen to one of the sweetest people he'd ever met. No. He'd make sure you got the love you deserved. He coaxed you to get out more. Small walks. Trips to the coffee shop. Anything to keep you away from locking yourself in your room.

*****

He held you close, your head resting on his chest, his heart beat lulling you to sleep. You finally felt a sense of acceptance but the warmth of his arms was something you wanted to hold onto.

"Thank you Bucky" You whispered, snuggling further into his hold, it was clear to both of you, you wouldn't be leaving his arms ever any time soon.

"Of course angel" Bucky smiled softly, stroking your hair. He'd hold you forever as long as you felt safe.

[since0202]

Taking Time—Fifty-Two

Not that easy

Word count: 11,599 (oops)

There have only been a handful of times where I’ve woken up with a true hangover. Most were spent with Becks and Keye in our high school days after staying out a tad too late at a local house party and drinking the latest concoction of Quileute kid punch. One was after a truly raucous night at Sam and Emily’s a few months after meeting the pack for the first time and Paul opted for us to just sleep at their place rather than drag me home. The only other time I can remember before that though, was the day after the imprint. I had felt groggy, lightheaded, and like I was going to pass out all day. There was never a point where I didn’t feel actively nauseous and at the time, it felt like a warning. Now I know exactly what it was: the universe shifting and locking into place. Destiny taking hold with her vice grip and squeezing me clean of my senses. 

Maya woke up with a splitting headache and nearly naked in her soft bed. She hadn’t bothered to change into proper pajamas, and had unceremoniously stripped off her dress and thrown on a Columbia university t-shirt as she listened to each voicemail from home like they were episodes of a riveting podcast. 

Becks was indeed pregnant again and had called Maya back at the end of April to let her know through a wet, wonderful, tearful voicemail:

“Listen, Maya. Something amazing has happened and I know you’re busy and all, but I just wanted to tell you that…that I’m pregnant again. God….” There was a long pause as Maya heard her sniffling and trying to get her tears under control, “I know it seems like a lot. I mean Ephy isn’t even one yet, but I’m so happy and I just….I just wish you were here. And I get it, I really do. You had to do what you needed to to be happy, just like I did what I did to be happy. But, My…I just…Nevermind… I just love you and I wish you were here, you know? Ugh, sorry it’s probably the hormones.” A deep, sounding voice called out to Becks from way off. Probably Jacob coming home. “I gotta go, but I love you and I hope you’re okay. And I hope…I hope I can see you soon.”

Maya had listened to that one a couple of times, tearing up herself. She had missed so much. Her phone was filled with messages and photos from her family: 

Ephriam’s first birthday. Seth and Sadie’s wedding. Kim’s baby shower and delivery announcement. A bonfire night at Sam and Emily’s. The first Christmas at Jacob and Becks’ with the whole pack crammed into the wide open living room surrounded by piles of gifts. Maya noticed Paul was nowhere in sight in any of the photos and wondered if he had been the one to take them instead or if he was absent altogether. 

Keye was also noticeably absent from most of the photos, save for Seth and Sadie’s wedding. There was a beautiful one of her clutching a champagne glass and smiling to somewhere far off. Maya had opened the last and only text she had received from her when she had first skipped town. If anyone could keep quiet about her reaching out, it would be Keye, Maya thought. So she typed out a message in the early morning as the sun was beginning to break over the New York City skyline that simply said: 

“I miss you.” 

Now, as Maya rubbed her face and glanced toward the long, floor to ceiling windows that spanned an entire wall of her room, looking out over the street below, she considered if last night had been some strange dream. 

Late morning light poured through the windows and she groaned trying to clear her head, but the ache and pounding wouldn’t subside. She felt terrible, wrecked, as hungover as her first time drinking Quileute kid punch at Tommy Sutherland’s 16th birthday party on the beach. 

Maya threw the covers over her head, trying to get a grip. She felt awful. A soft buzzing to her right let her know that her phone was nearby. Maya groaned and slung an arm over her eyes as she pawed for her phone with the other. She had forgotten to plug it in last night and it was currently sitting around 20% battery as a result. Great. Maya squinted at her phone beneath the covers 

5 new messages from Arden

“Fuck,” Maya sighed as a fresh wave of nausea rolled through her body. Her teaching assistant orientation was today anyway, so she knew she’d probably catch him on campus. Dealing with it now via text felt like too much. So, she quickly opened the text thread, glanced at the last two messages that read: I just want to know that you’re alright. He looked like that guy from the art gallery, do you know him?

She shot off a quick “Hey! I’m so, so sorry about last night. I’ll explain everything when I see you today. I’m okay” and closed her phone again with a groan. 

Last night had most assuredly not been a dream. Her muscles felt tight and sore from the sheer tension between the two of them. Her lips felt like they had done battle. But the pain…aside from this cracking headache and the rolling wave of nausea, Maya had no signature hollow ache that she had lived with for the past year. 

When Paul had dropped her off last night with a soft kiss and his gentle goodbye, Maya felt like she had been slammed into a brick wall. She was so sure he would claim her last night and there would be nothing really she would have done to stop it. She had wanted him and the imprint had thrown her into such a state of disorientation that he could have probably gotten her all the way to the airport and on a plane before she would have realized what was happening. 

But he didn’t. 

For all the rage and upset that she knew was boiling inside of him, he had brought her back to her home, kissed her goodnight, and left her on the doorstep. Maya rubbed her forehead and cast the covers off of her before sitting up slowly. She ran a hand across her stomach as if to test for the ache that had accompanied her and sometimes crippled her, but none came. 

Maya glanced at her phone again and then dragged herself out of bed and toward the shower. Despite Paul tentatively re-entering her life, he had not reached out and the space felt monumental between them. Maya couldn’t figure out if that was a good thing or not just yet considering everything. Was this just the calm before the inevitable storm that was Paul Lahote? Or was it something different? 

Whatever it was, Maya knew she’d have to be careful and avoid slipping into the familiar rhythm of the imprint that would lull her right back into her old problems. 

----------------------------------------------

Maya quickened her pace across campus as her navy blue floral mini dress fluttered out around her upper thighs. The thin material clung to her hips and she had thrown on a light wash jean jacket over the delicately tied shoulder straps to prepare for the likely chill of the over air conditioned lecture hall. She had pulled her hair half up and tied a ribbon matching the color of her dress through it and it fluttered gently in the breeze past her shoulder-cropped hair. With the last sweltering days of summer clinging to New York, the less clothes the better, she thought. 

Maya readjusted her leather tote on her shoulder ladened down with notebooks and her laptop. She planned on getting some pre-semester work done after the orientation if she could. Her junior year was vitally important to the networking stage of her degree. She’d be busier than ever attending events and gladhanding. Luckily, she had Arden and now Dr. Bronnard in her corner singing her praises, but still, the thought of securing a high-value internship this year sent a nervous thrill through her. 

“Maya!” a familiar voice shouted across the quad. Maya slowed and turned to see Arden in a light t-shirt and some slacks. The heat was really getting to everyone. She paused and smiled waiting for him to jog up to her. “I thought that was you,” he said a little breathless, “Are you alright?” he readjusted his bag on his shoulder and reached out to gently graze her arm with his other hand. 

“I’m fine,” Maya shook her head, slightly embarrassed and looked down at her feet. “I’m sorry I disappeared on you last night, I—” she looked up to see Arden shaking his head gently. 

“You don’t have to apologize, it’s alright,” he said almost knowingly. Maya heaved a sigh of relief. 

“Really?”

“Really,” his smile was warm and kind as he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. 

And again, Maya wondered how no one had fallen in love with it yet. But maybe that was it, maybe someone had.

“I told you, I see you. I get it,” he promised. Maya nodded and couldn’t help leaning into his hand. “Are you ready?” he nodded over her shoulder toward the lecture hall letting his hand drop. 

Maya looked up at the double doors and then eagerly back toward him with a wide smile, “Absolutely.” Arden nodded his assent and wound his hand down her back and gripped her hip as they walked toward the front doors. He grabbed the door and held it open for her as she slipped through. 

The TA’ship was completely informal. Only Maya and two other undergrads were selected by professors to shadow their grad courses and grade papers. They wouldn’t be teaching anything, but it was a special opportunity to get a head start on some upper level material, work closer with grad students who were starting their research and even have the opportunity to work with their professors on their research. 

Arden of course had selected Maya for the position and she was thrilled to be sandwiched between two studious looking grad students in the lecture hall as head of the TA program droned on about expectations. Being Arden’s unofficial TA meant that she would most likely be spending more time in his office again with him. The thought made her chew her lip in worry and excitement. Without the dull ache present in her belly, Maya was able to consider a life of possibilities without the imprint tugging her attention away. 

But still, she was worried. If the ache was gone, that had to mean that Paul was nearby. But so far, he was keeping his distance. 

After the orientation, Maya laughed as Arden led her down the staircase from the front doors, regaling her with yet another story about a mishap that happened in his lab prep last week that had resulted in several thousands of dollars worth of regent test strips getting ruined. 

Maya leaned into Arden’s side as she held her stomach in laughter, her jean jacket hanging loosely from her hand as the sun washed over the bare skin of her shoulders and neck. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Maya lifted her head and wiped a stray tear that had escaped her eye from laughing so hard and was halted to a stop. 

Arden looked down at her, his hand resting on her lower back confused at her sudden stop and lifted his eyes to where she was staring. 

Standing off to the side against the brick wall of the adjacent building was Paul. His massive arms were folded across his chest clad in a black t-shirt. His face was pulled into a grimace as he watched Maya sway uncertainly. He didn’t move though. 

Maya looked up at Arden, her eyes swimming with confusion and a plea of understanding. He glanced at Paul and then smiled comfortingly down at Maya. “You going to be okay? Or should I wait for you?” 

Maya let out a solid breath and let a small smile break over her face. “Thank you,” she said softly, “I’ll be fine. I’m just going to see what he wants,” Maya said, her voice only slightly wavering. Arden watched her for a moment, not sure about leaving her but ultimately, after another glance in Paul’s direction he conceded and gave a brief nod. He squeezed her arm gently and said “I’ll be in my office. Text me if you need me,” before heading off across the quad toward the science building. 

Maya didn’t move for a moment, her eyes glued to Paul’s across the way. He looked furious, as he most often did now with each of their meetings, but Maya’s lips tingled with the remembrance of his mouth on hers last night. Resolved to not lose her way this time, she swallowed hard and walked purposefully toward Paul. His eyes watched her every movement: the soft sway of her hips, the soft fleshy tremble of her upper thighs that peaked out of from under the flimsy fabric of her dress as she walked, the subtle bounce of her breasts, the swing of her arms, and the curl of her fingers into gently fists. 

What he wouldn’t give to rip that dress off of her and remind her of who he was. 

Maya stopped a few paces away from him, her brain already fogging from his heady scent. She fought the urge to cross her arms over her chest, mirroring his position. 

“Hi,” she said gently, the wind blowing her hair across her shoulders. Paul’s intense gaze held her and he just gave her that wicked smile, one that promised he’d wreak havoc on her heart if she let him. When he didn’t say anything, she rolled her eyes and swore she heard a soft growl come from him in response, “What are you doing here?” she said with more impatience. 

Paul pushed off of the wall and walked a little closer to her. Maya stiffened. 

“I was going to take you to lunch,” he said, his voice a rumble of pure temptation, “If you were hungry.” Maya stayed stock still, worried that any movement would draw that lustful gaze and set her on fire. “Unless, you were busy with…something else,” he said the last part through gritted teeth as he glared pure malice over her shoulder where Arden had disappeared into the science building. 

She didn’t have plans…but, “Just lunch?” she asked tentatively. She desperately wanted her voice to come out stronger and not with that tinny undercurrent of need currently coating it. Paul’s eyes snapped back to her and he fought back a scowl at the distrust he found on her face. 

He gave her one solid nod and Maya relaxed, taking a deep breath. “Fine,” she said. “But I need to be back here by 2:30 for a meeting,” she lied. There was no meeting but at least it gave her a deadlined to adhere to. She worried if she didn’t set an end time for herself, she’d never leave his side with the imprint itching at her brain like this. 

He held out his hand to her in agreement and Maya hesitated only slightly before slipping her hand into his. His warm, reassuring palm sent an electric shock through her and she swallowed the gasp that fought up her throat. They started down the quad together and Paul reached around her to grab the bag off of her shoulder so he could carry it. Thankful for the lack of weight, she stepped closer to him, pressing her side against his arm as they walked toward one of the campus parking lots. 

Though they walked in silence, the tension buzzed through Maya’s body, tightening her nipples into hard peaks and swirled in agonizing lightning between her legs. When they reached the sleek black Mercedes, Maya hesitated again. He opened the passenger door for her and quickly walked around to the drivers side, depositing her bag into the backseat first. Maya bit her lip and hesitated at the open car door. 

“Paul,” she said quickly. He looked at her, that fire still brimming in his eyes. If looks could kill… “Just lunch, right?” she heard herself nearly beg. Paul openly scowled now and rolled his head back. 

“Maya, I’m not going to fucking kidnap you. Just get in the car,” he said harshly. Maya frowned. It was not outside of the realm of possibilities that he would placate her and then steal her away—he’d done it before. When she didn’t move, he placed both of his arms on the top of the car and leaned forward, “You already ran away once, what would be the point of me dragging you back to the rez if I know you’re just going to run from me again the first chance you get?” His voice dripped with anger but there was also regret. Maya pursed her lips and then nodded getting into the car without further protest and quickly snapped on her seatbelt. 

Paul sank into the driver’s seat and when he shut his door, Maya’s senses were once again flooded with the intoxicating scent of him. Immediately, she felt that ache thrum between her thighs and had to stifle a gasp. This was ridiculous—if she was going to have this reaction every time she was close to him, she didn’t stand a chance of maintaining control. When he turned on the car, she rolled down the window and ignored his look of curiosity as he navigated them toward their unknown lunch destination. 

They drove in comfortable silence. Maya leaned on her arm toward the window and tried not to react when she felt Paul’s hand rest gently on her upper thigh. His thumb stroked lazy circles on her skin and Maya ignored that heat that pooled between her legs quickly in response.

After about ten minutes of pure silence, Paul slid the car up to a valet who opened the door for Maya and helped her out. Paul was quick to come around and place his hand gently on her lower back, his fingertips just grazing her hip. The searing heat of his hand seemed to burn through the thin fabric of her dress as he led the way to the elevator. Maya shivered in the air conditioned hotel and slotted her body next to Paul’s to absorb some of his warmth. Paul’s hand slid to her hip and squeezed and Maya couldn’t help but look at their reflection in the mirrored elevator doors as they slid closed in front of them.

Paul was looking down at her as she stared straight ahead. When she leaned her head against his shoulder, he gently kissed the top of her head for a half second before straightening as the doors opened. A gleaming hostess stand stood just outside of the elevator. In a gruff tone, he checked them in for their reservation as if perturbed by their sudden lack of aloneness.

Maya smirked and let him lead her out onto the rooftop, following the hostess. He pulled out her chair and she sank down into it with a soft ‘thank you’. 

When he settled across from her, she trained her eyes on him and with humor said, “So, you were just so sure I would accept your invitation that you made a reservation, huh?” 

Paul raised an eyebrow at her and shook his head with a chuckle as he looked out over the glass partition that gave them a spectacular view of the upper east side. 

“I hoped,” he said before he looked back at her, “I didn’t know if you would accept, but I did hope.” 

“Mmm,” Maya hummed as she sipped some water. After a beat of silence where he just stared at her, she let out a huff and asked teasingly, “Sooo, how are things?”

The side of his mouth quirked up into a heartbreaking grin. His tight, trimmed beard covered that signature dimple she would so often press whenever she had made him laugh particularly hard. But she liked this look on Paul, albeit a bit darker, and more sinister. Before he could respond, the waitress came over and took their drink orders. Maya ordered a white wine to which Paul raised an eyebrow. 

“You sure you don’t want the lavender gin and tonic?” he asked curiously. Maya gave him a tight smile and shook her head, reaffirming to the halted waitress that she’d have the white wine. When she nodded and parted, Maya turned back to Paul and sank back into her chair. 

“You don’t know everything about me anymore,” she shot back quietly. Paul’s jaw ticked tightly and he looked off into the distance again. His knuckles were white as he gripped the arms of his chair and tried to calm himself. “So?” Maya prompted again. Paul let out a frustrated breath and looked back at her before shrugging. 

“Everything is fine. Business is good. I’ve expanded my client base out here and my work has gone over well.” He said everything so matter-of-factly, as if it didn’t please him to have been so successful. His body language was tight and his shoulders visibly tensed. Maya tilted her head to the side as she observed him. 

He was already irritated, maybe not with her, but just in general—she could see it coloring his face. The waitress dropped their drinks off and asked if they’d like to order lunch. Maya opened her mouth to order the seared scallops and risotto but Paul beat her to it. 

“She’ll have the scallops and risotto, side salad with arugula instead of spinach and the raspberry vinaigrette. I’ll take the steak salad,” he smiled at the waitress who glanced at Maya. Maya just nodded and she took off quickly. 

When she turned to level Paul with a look of incredulity, she was met with a teasing smile. One that begged her to say something. 

“Tell me again how I don’t know anything about you anymore?” he prompted after a short beat of silence. Maya brought the wine glass to her lips and took a soft sip, shaking her head and stifling a giggle. His eyes sparkled with amusement and she momentarily lost her breath. There was the Paul she knew, not this angry, sharp version he had been presenting thus far. She decided to take a chance with her next question seeing as she had successfully put him into better spirits. 

“So, how far along is Becks?” she said quickly, holding onto her wine glass. Paul’s face fell back into a grimace and he scoffed angrily. 

“You could just call and ask her, you know,” he said around his whiskey glass. 

“You don’t have to be a dick about it,” Maya shot back, her voice slightly rising. 

“And you don’t have to be this stubborn. For fuck’s sake, Maya. That’s your family, they just want to hear from you,” he kept his voice low but the rage coating his tongue was spitting fire in Maya’s direction.

“You know what,” Maya said abruptly as she set her wine glass down with a little too much force, sloshing wine over the edge, “I don’t have to listen to this,” she pushed away from the table, but Paul rose at the same time to meet her. 

“Wait,” he said, grabbing her arm harshly. Maya looked down at his hand squeezing her arm and frowned. 

“Let go of me,” she said as she tugged, but he wouldn’t. 

“I’m sorry,” he said between gritted teeth, “Please sit down.” Maya glared at him and shook him loose before sitting back down in her chair. 

Paul ran a hand through his black hair that had grown out long enough to curl a little at the ends by his ears. Before he sat back down, he clenched and unclenched his hands into fists a few times. 

“She’s about five months, give or take,” Paul finally said, his voice barely hiding the anger, “She’s doing well. No complications so far and Jacob has chilled out considerably since it’s their second and he feels more prepared.” 

Maya fought back the well of emotion gathering in her throat. She swallowed thickly and followed it with a strong gulp of wine before she said, “Hard to imagine Jacob being chill about anything, let alone his pregnant wife.” 

“How did you know they got married?” Paul asked innocently, genuine confusion on his face. Maya’s mouth suddenly dropped open and the sting of sadness poked at her belly. 

“Wha—” Maya began. 

“Seared scallops and risotto,” The waitress interrupted, “And a steak salad. Anything else I can get for you at the moment?” 

Maya was speechless, tears clearly pricking at the corner of her eyes now. Paul thanked the waitress and dismissed her politely as he leaned forward across the table to take Maya’s hand. Maya pulled in a sharp breath, fighting to steady the sob trying to claw its way out of her throat. 

“Hey, hey,” Paul said gently as he held onto her limp hand on the table. His thumb stroked the back of her hand softly as he said, “It’s okay. No one knew for a while and no one else was there. They just sort of…did it on a whim,” he soothed. Maya looked out over the skyline and nodded. 

“I shouldn’t be upset, I know,” she admitted, surprising herself. Paul shook his head. 

“That’s not…” Paul sighed and let Maya’s hand drop as he leaned back in his chair. “Maya, you can’t expect life on the rez to stop just because you left.” He didn’t mean it as an insult, but it shot Maya right through the heart to hear it. 

“I know that!” she snapped as she turned toward him, “Don’t you think I know that?” The tears were flowing freely now and she hated again how she had dissolved into a teary mess in front of him for the second time. She wiped at her cheeks angrily and took another drink of wine. 

“Let’s talk about something else,” he said firmly as he leaned forward to dig into his salad, “Tell me about your internship.” 

Maya sniffled and nodded, picking up her fork and taking a deep breath. She could talk about that. Anything to get her mind off of what she was missing, what she was sacrificing for a different kind of happiness she was chasing out here. 

For the next two hours, Maya and Paul talked about anything and everything as long as it didn’t touch on home. She forgot how easy it was to be around him, to hear the occasional chuckle (he refused to allow himself to laugh) and feel that warmth spread from her belly to every inch of her. She had missed him. Plain and simple. 

After lunch, he led her to the elevator and when the doors dinged shut, he turned toward her, pulling on her hip to set her flush against him as he leaned down, cradling the side of her neck with his other hand and bringing his lips down softly onto hers. Maya let out a soft whimper at the contact as a sizzling sensation burned pleasantly from her lips and down her spine. She opened her mouth to him and he greedily entered, letting his tongue swipe along her lower lip and into her mouth. 

Maya clutched at his bent shoulders, tugging him down more to bring him impossibly closer as the heat swirled and sank in her belly to her core. His hand moved from the bruising hold on her hip to knead the flesh of ass, slipping under her dress. He groaned into her mouth and when Maya took it as an invitation to bite gently down on his lip, she received a harsh slap to her ass cheek that made her yelp and dampen. 

She was hungry for more, but all too soon, he wrenched his hold off of her just as the elevator doors dinged open into the lobby of the hotel again. Maya was panting, her cheeks flush with heat as she allowed Paul to ferry her to the valet. He gave her ass one more pleasing squeeze before she sank into the passenger seat. 

Maya tucked some hair behind her ear and tried to quell her furiously thumping heart. She couldn’t concentrate on anything else on the car ride back and was thankful for Paul’s silence as she tried to get herself under control. 

When he dropped her off at the main entrance to campus, Maya hastily exited the Mercedes with a quick goodbye. But he rolled down the window and called out to her and she couldn’t bring it in herself to resist. 

She leaned down through the open passenger window, breathless and still flush with desire. 

“Yes?” she breathed. He gave her that teasing smile again before he said gently. 

“Can I see you again?” So innocently, as if she even had a choice. But she appreciated the request, nonetheless. 

“When?” Maya asked, trying to sound cool. Paul grinned and looked away and for a brief moment, she thought he might be onto her. 

“There’s this event I need to go to on Thursday at the Met. A bunch of artists will be there, but it’s mostly a chance to network. These things are usually pretty boring, but the Met is cool and it would probably be more fun if you were there.” He said it all so nonchalantly. Maya rolled her eyes affectionately and echoed:

“Probably,” before nodding and saying with genuine excitement, “I’d love to.” 

“Great, then I’ll see you Thursday,” his voice wavered slightly and Maya wasn’t sure what to make of it. 

“See you Thursday,” she said softly as she backed away from the car and turned on her heel to jog toward the science building. She could still hear the soft rumble of his Mercedes even though she was a bit of distance away, so she called out over her shoulder, “Stop staring at my ass!” 

She heard that achingly wonderful laughter bubble out of him from far off and it made her heart thump wildly in her chest. 

Whatever this was that they were doing at the moment, she had to admit, she really liked it. 

----------------------------------------

Maya checked her outfit in the golden arched filigree mirror that towered over her in her room. Rosalie was lounging on her bed, flipping through a mechanics magazine with a bored look on her face. 

“I don’t know why you don’t just wear the vintage Valentino. It’s classic Met,” Rosalie said for the umpteenth time. 

Maya smiled and readjusted the thin straps of her deep magenta halter. The material was well made and tailored exactly to her curves. The top acted almost as a bustier and pushed her cleavage up spectacularly. The matching magenta wide-legged, pleated pants billowed out around her legs, giving the look an airy, elegant feel. Maya leaned down to adjust the strap of her strappy black heels. 

“I’m going for a different look. There’s going to be some artist-types there and I don’t want to look too stuffy,” Maya said as she crossed the room to don her gold bangle bracelets from Jeremy. 

“At least wear my teardrop diamond earrings. They’ll class up the place a bit,” she set down her magazine and gracefully slid out of the room before Maya could even protest. 

She fluffed at her black tousled hair that ended just above her shoulders. Maya swallowed hard to help quell that giddy feeling tumbling in her stomach. It felt like a first date with Paul all over again. The uncertainty, the thrill, the hope for his touch. Still, Maya would need to be careful to not let herself get too caught up too quickly in him. With the pull of the imprint, it was easier to get lost in chasing down your feelings and letting it all consume you. This time, Maya would have more going into it and she would try her best to actively manage those feelings so that everything felt like a choice, rather than a reflex. 

About fifteen minutes later, as Maya put on the finishing touches to her look (dark ruby red lipstick, her ring and woven bracelet from Paul, and the diamond earrings Rosalie insisted on), Emmett appeared in her doorway with his hands in his pockets. 

“Someone’s here for you,” he said gently with a teasing smile. Maya felt a rush of butterflies and her heart fluttered unexpectedly. 

She hurried past Emmett and down the darkened hallway to the front door. She grabbed her black leather clutch off the table and pulled open the door to echoes of laughter and “Have fun!” from down the hall. 

When she shut the door behind her, she was more readily able to focus her gaze on the man below. He leaned against the passenger door of the black Mercedes, one leg crossed in front of the other with his hands buried in his pockets. Maya let her eyes slowly take him in: he was dressed in an all black suit, with black leather shoes that shone in the overhead lamplight. His dark black jacket offset the cloth with black silk lapels that glinted subtly in the evening light. Maya finally let her gaze fall on his face. His dark, tight trimmed beard accentuated his sharp jaw and his hair was swept back effortlessly as if he had just run his hand through it. 

Maya hesitated at the top of the steps, stunned into actual silence as she felt the imprint pull at her to close the distance. Paul must have felt it too because he shifted his stance and stood taller, looking up at her and giving her a gentle smile. Maya returned it and slowly descended the stairs, reminding herself of her promise to herself. 

When she landed just in front of him, his warm citrus and spice scent washed over her and she fought to simply keep her balance. Even in her heels, she barely reached his chin, and she gazed up at him with a soft smile. 

“Hi,” she said gently. He let out a small chuckle as he replied, 

“Hi,” and brought his hand up softly to cup her cheek. His eyes were filled with warmth, but Maya could tell he was holding some emotion back, maybe also trying to temper the pull of the imprint to give him the space to just feel what he needed to. 

The hand that cupped her cheek fell away and he tugged lightly at the ends of her hair, “This is shorter,” he said in a gravelly tone. 

Maya shot him a teasing grimace, “I needed a change.”

“A lot of change, apparently,” he said in an even tone, his eyes still lovingly roving her face. 

“What? You don’t like it?” Maya shook her head playfully. 

“I didn’t say that,” he said gently, taking a step toward her. Maya shuffled back a bit and he took it as an opportunity to open the passenger door for her. “Come on, we’re going to be late.”

--------------------------- 

Maya had been to the Met a few times during her time at Columbia. Sometimes with friends and once for a civil engineering class where they got to tour some of the preservation rooms. But, she had never been here at night for an event of any kind, and the Met at night was something special. 

Maya took Paul’s hand as they ascended the staircase to the grand entrance. Once inside, the air was buzzing with the hushed and hurried voices of artists and socialites alike. Paul didn’t let go of her hand as he pulled her through the crowd, deeper into the museum as if he was in search of something. 

There were new, temporary exhibits erected throughout the main hall and Maya couldn’t help but gawk at the sheer beauty of some of the sculptures. Paul ferried her through them though, not pausing to let her look properly as he nodded to some people he knew. 

“Paul. Where are we going?” Maya said breathlessly as the crowd seemed to thicken. Paul was looking for someone and if Maya was being honest, she didn’t really care who it was as he continued tugging her mercilessly through the crowd. She just wanted to pause and take it all in for a second.

Just as Maya was about to tug her arm back, Paul halted and Maya nearly crashed into him. She steadied herself and glared up at him, but he hardly noticed as he said to the person in front of him. 

“I’m here, showing my face. Happy?” his tone was only somewhat annoyed with the fact that he needed to check in with someone at all. Maya let her gaze sweep down to the culprit and swallowed roughly, suddenly feeling like someone had dumped a bucket of sand down her throat. 

“Thank you, Paul. I never doubted you for a second,” Rachel Black raised her champagne glass in salute, surrounded by elaborately dressed people and then her gaze glanced next to him. Unexpectedly, her jaw went slack and her eyes lit up with shock and amusement, “Maya?!” she nearly screeched. 

“Uuuh,” Maya stuttered out, still clutching Paul’s hand. But a moment later, Rachel had flung her body toward hers in a bone crushing hug. 

“Oh my goodness, it’s so good to see you!” she said, truly elated. Maya let out a small laugh and hugged her back before letting Rachel pull her to arms length to get a good look at her. “My god, you look amazing! How is Columbia? How are things?” 

“Things are..things are…” she glanced up at Paul but he was a stone wall. Very helpful, “Things are good,” she breathed out and Rachel just kept smiling. 

“Good! Well you know this one, so tight lipped. I thought you had fallen off the face of the earth with how secret he was keeping you. We miss you around Seattle!” It didn’t seem like Rachel knew what had happened between them. Was that Paul’s doing? Maya played along, grabbing the champagne glass that Rachel plucked from a passing waiter and handed to her. “But, I mean of course, New York is just such a great transition for Paul’s work. Plus you’re here!” Rachel continued rambling and Maya sipped slowly. Paul had let go of her hand to shake someone else’s hand who had walked up to him. He was now in casual conversation, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and Maya tried her hardest to play it cool. 

Rachel talked Paul up for about ten minutes before he snaked his arm around Maya’s waist and tugged her away, stating that he needed to introduce some people to Maya. Rachel gave her a kiss on the cheek and promised to call her to get together for lunch soon. 

When Maya was whisked away, her head felt like it was spinning. She looked up at Paul, but he still maintained that determined, quiet demeanor that gave nothing away. Maya fought back an eye roll and he squeezed her hip in response as if answering some silent question she had posed to him. 

True to his word, Paul introduced her to some of his artist friends—sculptors, painters, and metalsmiths alike—all of whom were very much a part of the New York City art scene but still managed to be decently down to Earth. They were  polite and asked her thoughtful questions about her degree. One of the painters even wanted her insight on some common bi-products in industrial bioengineering that could be recycled into reusable materials for a piece she was working on. 

Maya was bubbling with excitement as she spoke about her life, her research, everything; but out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Paul had moved away from her and was talking to another group of people in another corner of the room after awhile. 

Strange—the feeling of him not being glued to her side. It was all at once liberating and cold. She craved his warmth, but appreciated the space. Maya carried on talking, nodding, and smiling, trying to parse through the actions of this new Paul. 

Maya was so caught up in conversation as the evening carried on, that she startled when she felt his warm hand press to her lower back and slot back into her side. 

“Do you mind if I take her back? I want her to meet some people,” Paul announced. They all cheers’ed Maya before letting her be steered away by Paul toward another waiting group. 

Maya smiled up at Paul and wrapped her arm around his back as he led her into one of the smaller rooms of the museum, scattered with sculptures. They approached a group of important looking people and before she could even open her mouth to say hello, Paul introduced her: 

“This is Maya,” he paused and glanced down at her uncertainly before carrying on, “She’s my…uh, friend…studying bioengineering at Columbia.” 

Friend? 

Maya internally cringed and felt her arm slip from around his back and hang loosely at her side. They all greeted her happily, and Maya smiled back after a bit of a delay and tried to stay present in the conversation as Paul’s hand sat loosely on her waist as he carried on talking. 

She was introduced to a few more groups as Paul continued to make his rounds and each time, he seemed to hesitate in how to describe her. It bristled her, made her feel something deep in the pit of her belly that reminded her oddly of jealousy. But there was no one to be jealous of. Paul was standing at her side, hand wound around her as his thumb stroked lazily on her hip. 

Yet, here she was simmering with a subtle anger that pulsated with annoying precision in her belly at being called friend.

At a lull in the conversation, Maya excused herself to go to the bathroom to try and get a hold of herself. Her mind was still spinning at the fact that she was here with Paul, but now that he had seemingly distanced himself from her with the moniker of friend, her entire world felt a little upended. And the worst part was, she could hardly blame him. She had shamelessly flirted and kissed Arden while they were apart. Being called his friend was generous considering they’d had almost no contact for the past year. 

So why did Maya’s neck feel ungodly hot as she leaned over the sink and pressed a cold paper towel to her chest to cool down? 

After a few minutes of deep breathing in the bathroom and telling herself to get a grip in the mirror, Maya re-entered the main area. But instead of returning to Paul’s side, she wandered off up the grand staircase and leaned against the marble railing of one of the balconies that jutted out, overlooking the main area below. Maya leaned down and rested her forearms on the wide, cold stone railing and let her eyes sweep across the crowded floor. 

She didn’t know how long she stayed up there, watching and letting the voices rise up to echo around her, but it seemed no time had really passed at all before she felt familiar warmth next to her. Paul handed her a glass of champagne and leaned his back against the railing, looking in the opposite direction as he said, 

“Having any fun?” his tone was neutral, unreadable. She wasn’t sure if it was a genuine question or one that poked at her obvious distraction. Still, Maya couldn’t seem to burst that bubble of anger bouncing around inside of her. She shrugged and took a long sip from her champagne glass before standing upright. 

“Are you asking me as a friend or…?” She gave him an icy sidelong look. His eyebrows knit together in confusion for a moment before realization dawned on him. 

He chuckled looking down at his shoes as he nodded his head momentarily before saying, “So are we not friends?” 

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” Maya said sharply back while begging herself to calm down. Why was she so upset? Paul stood straighter, squaring his shoulders and facing her with his hands in his pockets. If he was anyone else she might be a bit intimidated, but this was Paul. Nothing about him could scare her at this point. 

“Did that bother you? Me introducing you as just my friend?” Paul asked in a gentler tone. Maya took another sip from her champagne and kept her eyes glued to the throng of people below, unable to answer. Paul looked off to the side for a minute, his jaw ticking tightly as if he was considering something and then he said, “I’m just trying to give you some space. Without pressure. You’ve proven yourself a flight risk and I don’t want to push it.” 

Maya swallowed, still unable to meet his eyes as she said, “I know what I did hurt you. But I did it for me and I don’t regret it. I am sorry that I did hurt you, though. So if all you want to be is my friend from now on then that’s fine, but don’t kiss me in dark alleyways and make me think differently then. That’s not very just-friends-behavior of you.” 

She chanced a glance at him and saw the clear anger wash over his face before she looked away. Was she being silly? Maybe. But the fire erupting in her from the imprint felt oddly like rejection she had never known and it was making her dizzy and impulsive. There was a too long pause from Paul before she turned toward him and he shot back: 

“Last I checked, you had a couple of friends that you didn’t mind hanging on and fucking around with.” 

“Excuse me?” Maya shot back quickly, setting her champagne glass down with too much force. 

“Oh, or is that different? Tell me Maya, what is acceptable friend behavior to you? Because I’m lost,” he was leaning forward with clear aggression on his face and Maya grit her teeth in response. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said through her teeth. Paul popped his eyes open a little wider. 

“What about whatever the fuck his name is….Arden? Everytime I find you, his fucking hands are all over you. All over what’s mine. So excuse me if I was just treating you with the normal friend behavior I’ve seen other people use with you.” 

“Fuck you,” Maya said loud enough that it echoed quickly around them. She swung around to stomp off but he lunged and grabbed her upper arm, whirling her around and leaning down so his face was level with hers. The fire in her met the fire in him. 

“Try again,” he growled, his hand squeezing her upper arm lightly. Maya recovered quickly from being pulled around and narrowed her gaze to meet his before repeating with the full weight of her anger reddening her cheeks: 

“Fuck….you,” she seethed enunciating each word with venom. A sick smile pulled across Paul’s face for a moment before he yanked her forward and let his lips crash down upon hers, sweeping the breath from her lungs. Maya let out a startled moan, her hands clenched into tight fists as she tried to pull back away from him for a moment. 

But he snaked his arm around her waist and lifted her slightly, moving her across the floor until her back met with a cold marble pillar. Her mouth opened to his as if on instinct and she quickly dissolved into the mind numbing pleasure of his mouth moving across hers, his tongue pressing and tangling with hers. 

Paul’s hand dropped to her ass and squeezed harshly, causing another moan to escape Maya’s throat. He pressed her harder into the pillar, grinding his hips against hers as their kiss deepened and pulled Maya further under in the haze of her imprint’s dominating presence. He caged her in against the wall, but there was nowhere Maya wanted to run to. Her hands loosened from fists into soft open-faced palms that roved around his chest, his shoulders, his waist. She wanted to feel all of him around her. 

His steady, hot heat enveloped her senses, making her body hum with excitement. And her erratic heartbeat matched the excited shuddering of his body. There was nothing else but him in that moment and Maya let herself be momentarily swept away. 

When he tugged her body away from his and held the back of her neck tight in his grip, she almost whimpered at the absence of his mouth on hers. She was deranged, off the rails with desire and she knew there was only one way to wipe her mind clean of it. 

“Let’s get out of here,” he breathed, his voice husky and dark as his eyes held her gaze. Maya nodded without even realizing it and no sooner had she agreed than he was whisking her off down the stairs, tugging her along on the edge of the crowd and making as minimal eye contact as possible so they wouldn't be held up. 

The most excruciating wait was for the valet to bring Paul’s car around. Maya clenched her thighs together and silently willed him to look at her so she could capture his mouth again, but he kept his gaze hard and focused out on the road, his arm tightly gripped around her waist, his own pulse racing wildly. 

When the valet finally arrived with his Mercedes, Paul yanked the passenger door open and Maya climbed inside, suddenly realizing in the quiet of the car that she was still breathing hard. Once in, Paul quickly navigated them with unnerving precision onto the road and raced as reasonably as traffic allowed further down into Manhattan. 

The car ride back was silent, the air between them electrified with tension and the only sound that Maya could hear was her own heartbeat drumming in her ears. Paul kept his eyes on the road, his hands gripping the wheel dangerously tight. 

When Paul whipped the car into the drop off valet of a very fancy hotel, Maya’s eyes widened. She didn’t know exactly where he was taking her, but home was a pretty safe bet. Now she realized the error of her assumption. Before she could say anything, Paul had exited the car and handed the keys to the valet who nodded as if he recognized him. Shortly after, Maya’s door was opened and Paul was taking her hand and gently tugging her from the car. 

There was no conversation between them, and Maya was thankful for it. Conversation would have distracted her from the thrumming between her legs that she was keenly hoping he would take care of once they were locked away behind his hotel door. 

He steered her to the elevator and when the golden doors shut with a pleasing ping, Paul’s mouth found her neck. Maya instantly leaned her body into his, placing her hand on his chest as she leaned her head to the side to provide him more access. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as he worked at that familiar spot he knew so well in the crook of her neck and Maya gasped as she felt his fingers ghost beneath her breasts. 

The door pinged open a second later and Maya opened her eyes, clouded with lust. He didn’t meet her gaze before he pulled her along down the hall toward his room. He fished in his pocket for a half second before tapping the card against the reader and the soft beep was like music to Maya’s ears. 

The room within was dark and Maya followed closely behind Paul as he lightly gripped her hand now. The door clicked shut behind them and Maya’s heart raced. The soft intimacy of a darkened room was all at once overwhelming. Maya’s breath shuddered and the haze began to lift as she realized where she was. What she was about to do. Paul turned after a second as if steeling himself to stay in control. 

Maya’s pulse quickened as his gaze landed on her and she shifted in her heels. He took a solid step toward her and she fought back a tremble. His hands raised to rest on either side of her face and pressed his body softly against hers. Maya could feel his hardening excitement pressed against her stomach and she tried to quell the fluttering that responded in her belly. 

He leaned down gently and kissed her gently, once, before leaning back just far enough to make eye contact as he said, “The only thing I need is you.” 

Maya’s breath caught in her throat and in the next second, his mouth was on hers again, feverish and hurried, as his hands settled around the base of her throat and walked her back toward the bed. 

Paul’s hands slipped down again, working quickly to slip the straps off her shoulders and unhooking the magenta, boned, bodice from her body. He groaned as he pulled the top away to reveal her naked underneath and cupped the mounds of her breasts in his hands. 

A sharp gasp spilled from her mouth as he squeezed gently, moving his mouth down her neck, before kissing down her body and dropping to his knees. Maya rested her hands on top of his shoulders and looked down at him. He kissed between her breasts and unfastened her pants, pulling them down her hips and sighing in pure happiness. She couldn’t help but giggle softly as his kisses traced further down her stomach and he hooked his fingers beneath the flimsy white lace of her thong, before tugging them down her body. She stepped out and let him revel in her nakedness in the dark. 

Her breathing came fast and deep as the realization of being touched like this for the first time in a year dawned on her. He gripped her hip and grabbed underneath her left knee, placing it over his shoulder, exalting in the way she dripped for him. Steadying her between both his hands, Paul squeezed the soft curve of her hips before dipping down and licking one long strip along her seam. Maya threw her head back and let her jaw go slack as a moan burst forth from her throat. Paul groaned deeply as he descended upon her like a man starved, lapping at every inch between her thighs. Maya held on for dear life as she rocked her hips forward to meet his mouth and when he sucked her sensitive nub into his mouth, she held back a delighted scream. 

She was over the edge embarrassingly too soon, white pops of light bursting behind her closed eyes as she let herself go in a rush. Paul was eager to drink her down, dipping his tongue into her opening and feeling her pulse into his mouth. When her knees shook violently enough to lose her balance, Paul pushed gently against her hips and she fell back onto the bed with a soft thump. 

Maya focused on finding her breath again as she brought a hand up to her forehead. He’d made her come undone in mere minutes—and now she was terrified of how he’d make her feel once he got inside of her. Maya opened her eyes and leaned up slightly to watch as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off onto the chair. Maya squirmed impatiently on the bed and bit her lip when he smirked at her, taking his time. 

She was fit to explode again and here he was, unbuckling his belt slowly, the soft clink of the metal sending shockwaves through every nerve ending in her body. When he finally shed his pants and briefs, Maya could finally see just how hard he was for her. Her mouth watered and acting on instinct, she lifted herself up onto her knees and shuffled across the bed. Reaching her hands out, she grabbed him by the hips and tugged him closer before dipping her head without hesitation and taking his tip into her mouth, spreading the warm bead of precum across her tongue before hollowing her cheeks and urging him further into her mouth. 

Paul let out a warning growl above her and placed his hand on the back of her head as he pushed his hips forward with controlled care, fucking into her mouth. Maya was lost in the sensations flooding her body, feeling him heavy and warm on her tongue, gliding past her lips as she tried to reach his base. There was no way she could manage all of him, but she tried, swallowing him down enough that his hand tightened into a fist in her hair and his moans blessed her ears with increased frequency. 

The warm, velvety taste of him thrummed a terrifyingly pleasant response in her brain, throwing her into a plane of neediness that had her legs shaking. She squeaked out a small moan around his cock and Paul’s eyes widened as if hearing the answer to a question he’d been asking all his life. 

Paul pulled Maya off of his cock in one swift movement and she gasped, looking up at him in heady confusion. He held her in place for just a moment, staring down at her in awe before leaning down, circling his hand around her waist and tugging her body across the bed quickly. 

Maya yelped in surprise as her head hit the pillow and the controlled weight of Paul sunk onto her and pressed against her form for a moment. His skin sliding across hers felt like reigniting a brand of belonging between them and Paul lowered his face to kiss her with a need she echoed, arching her body between them. 

Paul slid his thick thigh between her legs, urging her apart before sliding his hand down and letting his thumb tease her clit. Maya’s head flew back deeper into the pillow as she let out a whine and Paul took the opportunity to press soft bites and kisses to her neck. 

She was still a wanting, gushing mess for him and heat flamed into her face once more as she rolled her hips against his thumb, grinding down, desperate for more. 

“Paul!” she gasped as he touched just the right tempo against her, causing her to crest again. Paul groaned and bit down against her shoulder. Maya, in the waves of another orgasm, pressed against his shoulders, in an attempt to release the tension in her body that the heat of his body were exacerbating. With his other hand, Paul grabbed both of Maya’s wrists and slammed them down on the bed above her head as she keened and cried out again, her orgasm rinsing through her. 

Just as her release was washing through her, Paul lined himself up to her opening and pushed in swiftly. Her eyes shot wide in surprise and a visceral pulse rocketed through her body, ending in a scream of relief. 

Paul let out a feral groan that sent chills down Maya’s spine and she watched as his face melted into pure bliss as he slid to the hilt. The scream now spent, Maya’s mouth hung open as her breath came out in sharp bursts. Paul’s gaze finally lowered to meet hers and she felt every nerve ending buzz as he grinned that wolfish, possessive smile down at her. 

“You okay?” he whispered breathlessly. Maya felt a quick tear rush down into her hair as she nodded, her mouth still open in shock and relief. Paul stayed buried in her and looked down at the space between them where they connected, letting out another moan that set Maya on edge. She’d never been this wound up before, as if she’d snap and dissolve right into the mattress at any moment. 

Paul still gripped her wrists tightly above her head, keeping her place and Maya was thankful for the anchor. He used his other hand to grab her thigh and pull it up to wrap around his back. Then, with one last dark grin, Paul slid out to the tip and in one long languid stroke, he rushed back into her. Maya arched up in response as he dipped his head low to take her taut nipple into his mouth. 

Every place his mouth touched was like an explosion of firework-like sensation, burning through her and causing her to spiral. He began to pump into her at a quick pace, blinding her with pleasure and squeezing her hip, her ass, her breast. Maya couldn’t move from his ironclad grip if she tried, but it didn’t matter. Every one of her senses was lost in him. Each guttural groan, the slap of his hips against hers, the huff of hard breath across her face as he worked in her sent Maya higher and higher. 

And then, he shifted his angle, brushing against that spot within her that made her arch and whine with a sound she’d never heard come from her lips before. She clamped her lips shut around the sound of relief that erupted out of her throat as she felt her walls clamp down around him and try to pull him in deeper. 

“That’s my girl,” Paul moaned, his eyes glued to where they met, watching as he disappeared into her again and again. “Give me another, baby.” His voice was warm, but commanding. Maya felt another scream come clawing out of her throat as his mouth bit gently around her breasts and he hammered into that sweet, sensitive spot in her again and again. 

She’d die like this, happily. But it was almost too much, the pain of him stretching her open after a year apart without pause and the sweet coaxing of his hand, mouth, and hips pulling sounds and feelings that Maya didn’t think she was capable of. 

His hand slid underneath her waist and lifted her hips up as he sank deeper into her. His thrusts were controlled, precise, and Maya was simply a mess. She rolled her head from side to side, her cheeks bright and flush with warmth as she teetered. Her nipples were hard and sore from Paul’s mouth tugging and nibbling at them, and a thin sheen of sweat covered her whole body making it easier for him to slide her body against him any way he pleased. 

There was nothing Maya could do except take what he was giving her and give what she could back to him. She was babbling at this point: his name, curse words, promises, pleadings. All of it brought her crashing down again, her walls fluttering around him. He groaned in appreciation, kissing up her neck and across her face to her lips as she shuddered with release, her thighs a slick, sticky example of her uncontrollable lust for this man. 

Paul's thrusts began to falter in their control as he slammed into her faster, deeper, angling her for his needs. Neither of them were in control and it didn’t matter anymore. 

Maya’s hands had gone numb as he held her wrists tightly to the bed, but the tingling in her fingertips was nothing compared to the overwhelming drag of him sliding in and out of her at a brutal, finishing pace. 

He leaned his head up to look into her eyes, letting out another moan of pure exaltation as he said in a low voice: “You’re still on birth control, right?” The slapping sounds of his hips almost drowned out the question. 

Maya, lost in her glow, let out a soft laugh that made Paul grunt as she squeezed him. “Like you care,” she got out around a breath. Paul shook his head, letting a laugh roll from him now too as he looked between them again. 

“You’re right. I don’t,” he admitted casually, before wrenching Maya’s body up and spinning her around so she laid on her stomach. He let go of her wrists and Maya felt the soft rush of blood return to her hands. Instead he pulled her hips up and slid into her fast from behind without bothering to spread her. Maya let out a low moan into the pillow and felt his hand land firmly on her shoulder, holding her in place against the mattress. 

His thrusts found every soft, sensitive spot within her and the white lights that burst behind Maya’s eyes as her brain buzzed pleasantly, wiping all thoughts from her head except the feeling of him between her legs, was all that was keeping her present. His hips stuttered again, getting sloppier as he lost control and Maya reveled in the thought that it was her that caused him to lose it like this.

Another few hard pumps and he let out a loud moan, her name on the tail end of it, as he splashed inside of her. Maya screamed into the pillow as she felt him cum, her senses heightened by the shuddering tension wracking his body. 

His grunts became more deliberate as he continued to pump into her after he was spent, slowing down only after his body sank over the top of hers. 

“Fuck,” he breathed out as he pressed a line of kisses across her shoulder blades. Maya couldn’t open her eyes, exhaustion set deep within her, and the relief of her release pulling her under. She was circling the drain of her own contentment. Paul’s searing hot body sandwiched her gently into the mattress and nothing could have felt better in that moment. 

She felt him slowly slide off of her to the side as he pulled out. Immediate warmth pooled between her legs as his load spilled out of her. Maya didn’t care—she couldn’t move, her entire body humming with electricity as if a switch in her had been turned on again after being out for far too long. Paul gently caressed her naked back, leaning to kiss the bite marks against her shoulder and neck he had left in his need to reclaim her. He swept her hair off of her shoulder and massaged the back of her neck tenderly. 

It was all Maya remembered before she was pulled under into blissful darkness. 

------------------------

Maya woke to sunlight filtering softly through the window. She blinked blearily, her brain not quite catching up with her body just yet as she tried to remember how it was she got home. If she was home, then last night must have been a tortuously delightful dream. Maya rubbed her eyes and leaned up onto her forearms, but a sharp pain pulsed through her, fading into a dull ache. Not a dream. 

A soft shuffling next to her alerted her to the fact that she wasn’t alone. Maya turned her head over on the pillow and found Paul, fully dressed with his oversized leather weekender bag on the bed by Maya’s feet. 

“Good morning,” he said softly, his low voice music to her ears. Maya hummed in acknowledgement as she took in her surroundings. She was still in his hotel room, and she was most definitely naked. Maya sat up no, wincing at the soreness in her lower body. She yawned and saw Paul chuckle. 

“Where are you going?” Maya finally managed, her voice hoarse. “Jesus,” she whispered, holding the soft white linen sheet against her breasts. Paul looked up at her as he packed his iPad and chargers into his bag. 

“I have to head back to La Push today,” he said it as if they did this song and dance all the time—as if she should know where he was headed. Maya blinked a few times, clearing the rest of the sleep from her brain. 

“O-oh,” she stuttered. 

“I arranged a late check out already, so feel free to hang out as long as you need,” he zipped up his bag and the sound of it seemed to ricochet loudly across the room. 

“Okay,” Maya tried to hide the disappointment in her voice. Paul slung his bag over his shoulder and leaned on the bed to kiss her softly. Maya tentatively placed her hand on his jaw, feeling the soft bristle of his beard against her fingertips. When he pulled away, Maya felt the imprint in her wilt with disappointment. 

“I’ll be back in the city in a few weeks,” he said softly, letting his eyes search hers for a moment. But Maya didn’t know what he was looking for in her. After another beat, he stood up abruptly and walked toward the door without another word. “Thanks again for coming with me last night,” he said mischievously as he turned around to look at her, “And for attending the event last night.” He winked at her before pulling open the door. 

Maya heard the soft click of the hotel door close as her mouth hung open in shock. 

“Bye?” she said aloud to no one. Maya placed a hand to her head to steady the dizzying effect of the emotional whiplash she just encountered. 

What the fuck was that? 

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