#ADHDWitch

[aquirius555-musings]

Pursuing Your Purpose Over Grabbing the Bag

The Necessity of Motivation in Pursuit of Wealth 

Being a witch with ADHD can be contradictory at times. And now is one of them. I am confident that wealth follows and it does not lead. I am comfortable not leading my life in pursuit of wealth. However, I am still a human existing on this planet, a planet where wealth not only leads, but having some form of income is a necessity for survival. For most, a steady income is a necessity for creating a comfortable, safe, and healthy environment to prosper in this decaying world. 

I am in a position where I have less wealth than I ever have before, but I have also achieved more dreams than I ever have before. I am living in a place I have dreamed about since I was young. I am living among the mountains and the great glory of this Earth’s nature and all it has to offer. I am living with and building a family of humans and animals that love me greatly and our soulmates of mine. I am living as a witch who believes in my value and abilities. 

These things drive my passion, my hope, and my willingness to do more than simply survive. My willingness to always push to be thriving. What doesn’t drive this will to live fully is paid work, perceived achievement/success, and valuing profit. 

It is very difficult for me to “show up” as my full self or with 100% energy when I am not intrinsically motivated by the values I consider most important. These are things I typically do and express in spades. Especially, in critical situations and oftentimes to a fault or to the great annoyance of others. 

However, I’ve learned the hard way in my adult years that when I try to pursue things that don’t fulfill my soul purpose or innermost values, I not only fail, but I suffer greatly, relapse, and regress. 

ADHDilemma 

As I referenced in my introductory post, I was a high-achiever growing up. This is also a result of being an AFAB person and an empath with severe ADHD. I knew all the rules, I studied hard, I hyper-focused, I hyper-felt, I had way too many varied interests that were always changing, I wanted to win, to be loved as I was, and I took rejection and torment to heart. This allowed me to rise up as a star student, star sibling, star employee. I masked the qualities and behaviors that I was ashamed of or the ones that led to torment, rejection, or guilt. 

You see,  I could read other people and knew when I was upsetting them or when they were intentionally upsetting me. This made it easy to designate different emotions, behaviors, reactions, and conflicts into different buckets in my head. There were buckets that were safe to dump out in public, within a specific system, or with certain people, and others that were not. I became a masked person instead of myself.

What societal rules mixed with my persona and neuro-status didn’t allow me to do was love myself, and therefore, it prevented me from being a star-friend, or at least being friends with those who had my best interest at heart. More than that, the lack of love I had for myself regressed my ability to be a caretaker for myself, to be spiritually aligned, and ultimately to be happy. I let so many people victimize me throughout my life because of this and therefore have accumulated my own traumas along the way.

I have now learned so much about myself, unlearned so many unhealthy habits and behaviors, worked through a lot of trauma, embraced so many emotions and qualities about myself. This makes it heartbreakingly difficult for me to face what I call “the old me”. I really do not align with this person anymore, and I don’t really feel them in me at the deepest levels, but at the surface they are fully present. 

Old Habits Die Slowly and Painfully

This “old me” knew how to present on LinkedIn, in the professional world, knew how to do what I needed to do to get the job, to fit in, to lead the group, to follow the leader. Whatever was needed of me, I did it. 

I am now in a really tough financial position. I don’t have enough money to pay my bills, get medicine, go to therapy, take my pets to the vet*, get groceries, get more soil for my plants, etc. I know that I need to make money, and I know that the thing stopping me has been restraining myself from pursuing higher-income gigs. I have been fearful that I won’t “make it” in this new field that I am pursuing and that I left my corporate job to pursue. This has been stopping me from taking the leap into freelance writing gigs, into seeking out magazines or sites to submit stories too, to recording my first podcast episode, to finish setting up my profiles for freelance sites that are connected to my LinkedIn or require examples of my work. 

*Both my pets had full vet exams in April, I have simply not been able to afford a visit to a new vet for either pet since we moved. They are healthy.

Instead of going for these things that may make me more money AND fulfill the want and need I have to try to write and create content for things I am passionate about, I am settling for much less. Getting low $/hour to do low-brain-capacity work. A big part of this is feeling like I won’t be represented as I am now and for what I want to be doing, but rather for the “old me” because of the work I’ve done in the past for tech companies or consultants. The buyers of the work I want to do won’t have any specifically-relevant work to review. And the buyers of the work I used to do don’t want someone like me and I don’t want to write for those types of topics anyway. 

So why am I stopping myself from presenting in my full form online? Why am I not believing in myself to do the things I went to school for, live and breathe and consciously learn about with my time? 

Because I was always told that to succeed in business or in any field or industry, you need experience, presentation, professionalism, etc. And these things have always been defined through a straight, white, and male-driven lens. This means no tattoos, no colored hair, no piercings, no political issues or talk (even though what I want to discuss isn’t political to me, even if it’s politicized by the public). Why, no matter how much I oppose and despise those who set these “precedents and standards” do I still give in to them?

Because old habits die slowly, painfully, and only with a lot of work and resilience is it even possible. 

Shadow Work Makes a Great Assassin!

The only one qualified to kill off these old, and frankly unwelcome, habits is with an old friend - Shadow Work. Suffice it to say, I think all of this means that Shadow Work is calling my name. It’s time to have a real focus on this as I also work to pursue my creative and professional dreams. 

Shadow work allows us all to go inside and break down these old habits, old traumas, old blocks that come back our way to try and break down our soul. Consulting, tending to, and loving your shadow self can allow one to break free of these things, or even better, allow them to work for you and propel you on your journey to achieve your soul’s purpose.

To get started, I am working with this very poignant Full Moon that takes place tomorrow at its highest illumination. I have some shadow-work journal prompts, a Full Moon spell, and a ritual planned. 

I guess sometimes, being an ADHD witch has it’s upsides too. Witchcraft is a tool that really helps me live a meaningful life despite the struggles that come with my ADHD. I am who I am, and embracing the intersections of these two identifying pieces of me allows me to pursue my soul’s purpose.

- Aquirius (July 2021)

[pa-vonine]

Any other witch with adhd find themselves hyperfocusing on something in the craft (ex. astrology/herbs/faefolk) but then lose interest for 6 months (or any other period of time) and then remember that you're actually a witch trying to get more regular with their practice?

[adhdwitchcraft]

My Grimoire! I think it's so beautiful I'm scared to start writing in it aaaah

Also, I had to flex my ring in the last pic hahah i just think it's very pretty

[haloquin]

I've been "bullet journaling" for a few years now and I've admired how beautiful some people make theirs... But generally mine is scrappy and functional, a inky spider's tangle of hastily biroed thoughts, and that's fine. It works for me and that's the point. I have, however, recently been itching to get my paints out so I'm going to start doodling in my journal on occasion and making monthly cover pages with space for such doodles sounds like a fine plan to me. I'm hoping this'll give me mini breaks to decompress between work, studies, and travel for book talks and teaching and such! I decided to take inspiration from other bullet journaling artists and have a loose theme this month to help me when I've got blank page syndrome so in honour of my favourite movie having a new prequel series out this month I'm going with the Dark Crystal! #BuJo #pagan #witchesofinstagram #DarkCrystal #meditation #gelfling #rowan #autumnequinox #magic #makingspace #autumnmagic #popmagic #watercolour #selfcare #adhdwitch #80schild https://www.instagram.com/p/B17clcRnoxx/?igshid=geeugdw0wv79

[imjustalittlebearok]

ADHD Witch problems...

Loving crystals, being able to remember their names but constantly re-reading (and forgetting) the crystal’s powers and qualities 🐿 🤣 ✨

[adhd-witching]

Introduction

Hi there! You can call me Hyacinthus Hyacinth or Hyatt! My main witchy blog is @hyacinthuspetals and I follow from @prince-hyacinthus. I am a polytheistic pagan and I use they/he pronouns.

This blog is an attempt from me to keep track of how my ADHD affects my witchcraft and polytheistic worship. In the past, my disability has been a hinderance on my craft, and has held be back from practicing in a way that is consistent and brings me happiness and joy.

After listening to @breelandwalker's podcast episode on being an ADHD witch, I felt so empowered! I wanted to learn to make my ADHD work with me rather than against me.

My goal is to document my progress and to give myself accountability and routine. Will this be another thing I get overzealous about which in turn makes me get burnt out and abandon it? Possibly. However, this also might be the boost I need to keep going and motivate myself! I will be tracking the tag #adhdwitching

Click here to learn more about my practice! Click here if you're interested in my paid rune readings!

This blog is a safe space for LGBT+ people, BIPOC, and disabled people. TERFs, Nazi’s, Folkists and anyone in between fuck off forever. I’m not arguing with anyone, I’m not debating anyone, go crawl back to the hole you came from. 

[adhd-witching]

Hello, Anon! I hope I can be of some assistance.

As I mentioned in a previous post, @breelandwalker has a FABULOUS podcast episode about being a witch with ADHD. We can often be unorganized, forgetful, messy, and it can be especially hard to focus at times. If you want to listen to it, here's the link! (Link)

My biggest take away from the episode was to try and find ways for your ADHD to work with you rather than against you. This can include incorporating magic into the things you already do in your daily life!

In my own experience, trying to make myself be all organized and aesthetically pleasing has just made me too intimidated to even start doing any practice at all. Getting myself a fancy notebook to use as a book of shadows just made me too overwhelmed to use it because I didn't want to be wasteful. Trying and failing to keep a super elegant altar also doesn't really work, and I'm constantly forgetting about the offerings I leave out. (I may or may not have invited in a horde of fruit flies into my living room because I have the object permanence of a baby and forgot I left Hermes a cup of coffee a week prior.)

This is a lot of info, so I'm going to give you some key bullet points that hopefully make this easier to process:

Write down everything! It doesn't have to be anywhere special, it can even be on your phone. Write down every point you want to remember, every experience you have, every spell you've done. People with ADHD often forget things, so having something to go back on helps a lot. Not all your notes have to be in the same place, either. If you literally have a random scrap of paper nearby when you get an idea, jot it down there before the thought leaves you! You can always go back and put everything in one place later.

Find magic in your day to day life! For example, I've started turning all of my baths and showers into a cleansing ritual. Nothing extravagant, I just use my usual shampoo/conditioner/body wash and go into bathing with the intent of cleansing myself. I am a Hellenic polytheist, so I also do it to honor Aphrodite. You could also do some glamor magic if you wear makeup and use color associations, or you could do kitchen magic and use the ingredients you already have with magical intent!

Spend some time outside. I know, I probably sound like a grandpa, but I actually am struggling with this part myself. My brain is constantly buzzing, and needs constant stimulation. I hate silence. However, going on short walks among nature if you have the ability to really does wonders for my mental health, and I always feel so much better afterward. You can totally listen to some music in earbuds as long as you're still aware of your surroundings, or if you want to try listening to the sounds around you, that's great too! Basically, "go outside and touch some grass" is genuinely good advice. Go make pretend dirt potions like you may have done as a kid.

Don't force anything. If you're trying super hard to have the perfect altar, the perfect notebooks, or you feel like you can't do any magic until your room is absolutely clean, the time where you finally feel "ready" won't ever come. We have to be kind and understanding to ourselves and our limits and abilities. Our space is bound to have some clutter, and that's okay. It doesn't make us bad witches. I guarantee not everyone's witchy space looks like a Pinterest picture.

"Focusing" for us may mean something different to a neurotypical person. Like many ADHD witches, sitting and watching a candle burn for hours at a time is literally impossible. Don't feel bad if your attention wanders elsewhere during a spell or ritual, forgive yourself and let yourself come back to what you're doing.

Set yourself up for success! Like I said in the previous bullet, we can't all sit and pay attention to a full candle for two hours, so find a way to make that time shorter! Birthday candles for instance are a great alternative, and they don't take nearly as long to burn! Find little ways to make life easier for yourself, it doesn't all have to be an uphill battle.

Find other ADHD witches and motivate one another! Even if it's just a tumblr mutual, share whatever practices or experiences you're comfortable sharing and encourage one another to keep the momentum going. You can even coordinate things and do stuff together if you want!

I hope some of this helps you in your practice, friend! If you ever have any questions about ADHD or witchcraft or both, don't hesitate to send me an ask.

Tips for ADHD witches?

a witch with adhd would be better suited to answer this than me. any help from the dash?

[themeditativewitch]

Ghost here for ADHDH advice.✨💜

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#adhd #adhdmemes #adhdawareness #adhdwomen #adhdproblems #adhdtips #adhdbrain #adhdsupport #adhdlife #adhdwitch #witch #mentalhealthawareness #spiritualawakening #blackcat #blackcatsrule #catlife #cats #catloversclub #blackcatsaregoodluck #blackcats #witchcraft #witch #spiritualawakening #spirituality #spiritualworld #begentlewithyourself #selflovejourney #selfcare #catsrule #loveyourself #bekindtoyourself #adhdisreal

[adhd-witching]

Paralysis and Self Doubt

DISCLAIMER: All entries on this blog are made to simply share my thoughts, progress, and experiences as I live them. I am not an educator, I am not a medical professional, I am just a pagan witch with ADHD. I am not asking for sympathy, and I am not trying to gain attention, I am here to talk about how my disability affects my day to day life and progress as a practitioner.

Warning for talks of depression and being a general downer. This is just how I'm feeling today, and I think it's important to share because this side of witchcraft and deity worship isn't talked about very often.

My executive dysfunction is terrible today.

My plan for today from yesterday was for me to wake up, get dressed, deliver the readings I owe people, finish filling out my forms to send in for disability, and spend the day cleaning and organizing.

That did not happen.

Instead, I woke up, and I have not moved from my bed. I have not gotten dressed. As of 6:30 PM EST, I haven't eaten anything but half a bagel with cream cheese early this morning. I spent a good portion crying because I feel like a failure.

I feel paralyzed, and no matter how much I beg my mind to allow me to just stand up and do the things I need to do, my body will not listen.

I'm disappointed, because I thought I was finally starting to improve. I thought I was getting better. My dosage of Adderall had been upped the last time I saw my doctor, and it only made a difference for a couple of days. When I made this blog, my plan was to talk about how proud I was of myself for tidying up the house and setting up a brand new altar as a chance for me to talk about how good it felt to be so motivated. I never even got to that part. I stopped cleaning one day and I never started again, so everything piled all back up and I'm back to square one.

I desperately want to be able to function as a person, do daily rituals, and spend my time researching and learning. I want so badly to be able to spend hours upon hours reading about the gods, learning every epithet and story so I discuss them in depth with my friends and fellow worshippers, but most days I can't even move because I am simply frozen.

Many of the people I know are so dedicated to their practice, and it's so, so beautiful. They are able to meditate with their gods regularly, make the time for rituals and have the most beautifully decorated altars, and know those gods inside and out. They're all able to have in depth discussions with one another about praxis, about the deeper meaning behind certain texts, and as much as I love that for them and am happy for them. I also feel as if I'm never going to measure up to that.

With my ADHD, studying and remembering facts is so hard for me, and I never really learned how to take effective notes. Every time I try to open a book, or try to read a page of text, my brain goes blank. The words look like soup, I can't comprehend or retain anything. When I leave food offerings, what ends up happening most of the time is I forget they exist, which of course makes them.... gross.

I ask myself: "If I can't even make myself put on clothes, how can I effectively learn and grow as a worshipper and a witch?"

I feel useless. I feel incapable of giving my deities the love and attention they deserve, because I can barely give myself the love and attention I deserve. I don't even have my altar set up because I can't get out of bed, and when I do I'm too exhausted to make the time to arrange it. I feel like because I'm in such a rut, I'm not worthy or interesting enough to contribute to these discussions, and it sometimes feels like I'm excluded from them. All I have right now are the conversations I manage to have with the gods on my own. I've been doing this for several years now, and while I've had my ups and downs, this general sense of being overwhelmed and stuck is typical for me. I wake up, I watch the clock and beg my body to allow me to move, the sun starts to set, and before I know it another day has gone by with me accomplishing literally nothing.

I love to learn. I love learning about magic. I love learning about the gods. I love finding out new ways to practice, or new spells, or finding out something new about one of the deities I'm close with. I also love to sing, I love to draw, and I love to write.

Lately, I don't feel enthusiasm for any of those things. It's been this way for a long time.

I'm not asking for advice, or ways to fix this. It's not something that anyone can really change except for me, and the way to do that is by being patient with myself and waiting for my appointment to get my ADHD med dosage changed. I know that the gods love me and care about me regardless of my mental health or disability, and I know there's not any deadline for me to meet when it comes to progress. It's still hard to feel like everyone around me is having so much success, but my stress and insecurity is not anyone else's responsibility.

I bought John Beckett's Paganism in Depth as an audiobook to hopefully allow me to at retain information by listening to someone else talking. I've found reading books is a bit easier for me this way. If anyone has any good audiobook recommendations on witchcraft or paganism, feel free to send them in an ask or on my main blog.

The reason I am sharing this is because I want to document how I feel now, so that future me can look back on this time and (hopefully) reflect on how far I've come. I also want others to see that they are not alone in feeling this way. I'm sure this is a very common problem for witches and pagans suffering from executive dysfunction and mental illness, but it's not something that's talked about very often. I want to be transparent about my progress, which means being transparent about my lack of progress, too.

If you've read my ramblings this far, thank you so much. I hope you have a fantastic rest of your day.

[haloquin]

Doodling cover art for the next few poetry collections!!! The poetry was finished several months ago, just waiting to be shaped into collections... Turns out tonight is when my brain decides it needs to happen. Time to put it down and sleep, methinks. Not many steps left till its complete, but more than is healthy tonight so it'll have to wait until I next hyper focus on it... Soundtrack by @sjtuckermusic, loving the Travelling Songs! #witchesofinstagram #pagan #magician #occult #poet #Bard #artist #ADHDwhatme? #adhdwitch #adhd https://www.instagram.com/p/B25ZDpsnyA_/?igshid=bxfpeubqnx85

[haloquin]

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My outdoor sanctuary. (far from the crowds) #pagan #summerchild #Druid #druidry #witch #OBOD #Ovate #herbalism #Ceredigion #birdsong #adhdwitch #ADHDwhatme #neurodiversesquad https://www.instagram.com/p/B_xr3pNn0p7/?igshid=vnoxvyd4rvjx

[themeditativewitch]

Ghost here for ADHDH advice.✨💜

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#adhd #adhdmemes #adhdawareness #adhdwomen #adhdproblems #adhdtips #adhdbrain #adhdsupport #adhdlife #adhdwitch #witch #mentalhealthawareness #spiritualawakening #blackcat #blackcatsrule #catlife #cats #catloversclub #blackcatsaregoodluck #blackcats #witchcraft #witch #spiritualawakening #spirituality #spiritualworld #begentlewithyourself #selflovejourney #selfcare #catsrule #loveyourself #bekindtoyourself #adhdisreal