#ADA IS MY GF GO AWAY

[anyasivy]

fun's over i've seen much too many people dumbing down ada to 'saving leon/others' i wish capcom would make her do something so evil so the re fandom would go insane

[studious-bookworm]

So fanfic idea, Port Mafia around the world.

Called Port Mafia around the world, Where the story is told in Kaji's perspective.(my favorite lemon boy) and his time with the port mafia.

•Its about how all the port mafia doing theor job overseas and even disguising themselves.

I created different crime organizations in different countries with powerful ability users some are even stronger than chuuya.

•But also explores the friendships between Akutagawa, Kaji, And Chuuya. (Which are like the main 3 in the show)

•So like in one chapter we have a mafioso from France, Her name is Annie (i thought it would be funny to call her that after seeing Chuuya dance like Michael jackson in BSD wan).

•She has blue hair and purple eyes, And her ability is called "Titan" where she can make herself bigger.

(This may or may not be refrence of attack on titans tho)

•One of the chapters would probably feature Q, As he needs to under cover as a student to find one of the rival mafia boss's daughter. While he is undercovering as normal student, he makes some friends who are also orphans and they call themselves the "tiny mafia."(but i might change this)

•The next idea in this, Project Fumi, Fumi is a little girl who was running away from the government because they were experimenting on her and ran in to Chuuya asking for help. Chuuya takes her in and the develop a father and daughter relationship.

She ends up dying by sacrificing herself so chuuya could live (evil laughter).

•Then its Mafia in the jungle, Where its like jumanji, (probably the 1st episode) where they're mission is to steal red ruby in the jungle. I say this because i love Koyou's explorer outfit. I kinda wanted to draw it before writing this but nah.

•Next episode, Would probably be funny one for my skk shippers. Where Shirase gets a gf and wants to take in the festival in Yokohoma.

•He and Chuuya rekindle and he askes Chuuya if he is still single. In which Chuuya lies, And no, and that he has gf. So Shirase invites Chuuya to double date.

(Reason why he lied is because Dazai decided to tag along, and was about make fun of him for being single)

This can go two ways:

1) Dazai calls Chuuya out on his lie, Chuuya gives in and admits his lie. But, Dazai decides to dress up and be Chuuya's fake girlfriend for the festival/double date.

2) Chuuya calls Annie, Askes her to be his fake gf. She accepts. But on the day of the festival, Dazai decides fo surprise Chuuya by being his fake gf.

So he introduces himself as Chuuya's gf buy Annie who came in late, Also introduces herself as Chuuya's gf. So these two have to pretend to be in polygamous relationship.

But then, More girls from different crime organizations that the port mafia have an alliance with comes in and claim to be Chuuya's gf and everything is just a mess. 😂

•The other chapter would be mafia in paradise (which is either going to be one of the first chapters or a seperate fanfic.)

But this one takes place after the current arc. Natsume decides to thank the PM and The ADA fot saving th city by paying for their trip in a tropical resort.

The mafia needs to be roomates with ADA members.

So

Fukuzawa is roomates with Mori

Chuuya roomates with Dazai

Atsushi roomates with Akutagawa

(These are funny especially when it comes to shower time, Mori takes a Looong time in the shower just to piss off Fukuzawa.

Fukuzawa: "you've been in there for 45 minutes, Get out! Already! "

Mori:" i am not with my 50 steps skin care routine so have some patiences"

Fukuzawa:"50 STEPS?!"

He doesn't but its funny.

And when Chuuya takes a bath, Dazai breaks in his bath and takes a bath.

Chuuya (relaxing) : Aaaah...this is the life,

Dazai: tell m about it

Chuuya: WHAT THE- GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BATHTUB!

Dazai: relax chuuya~ we use to take bath like these together all the times.

Chuuya: Why You-

And Atsushi forcing Akutagawa to take bath.

Akutagawa running from Atsushi, While Atsushi has a spray of water, soap and a bath towel. And chasing akutagawa around to take a damn bath.

And Kunikida is roomates with Katai.

Where he just talks all day on how he needed to deal with Dazai and his annoying ex Partner. And Katai just silently listens to him. While forcing himself to make soup dumblings for Kunikida. (He gets depressed because he burnt them, but Kunikida eats them anyway because of their besties)

And Yosano is roomates with Koyou, Which she hates because Koyou is loyal to Mori. How can anyone be loyal to someone like that?

Q is with the Kenji, While Kyouka is with Higuchi and Gin and Naomi.

Tachihira and Horitsu are with Tanizaki and ranpo.

•Tachihira does meet Yosano, And Yosano sess that Tachihira looks like the boy she met long time ago. (Tachi's brother).

•But that's basically the rundown of paradise.

I also plan to write a backstory Kunikida and Katai, How Kunikida was adopted in to the Yakuza family, met Katai because he was being bullied at age 12.

(In the Kunikida and Katai LN, They met at age 12 but they never told us how.)

And they became besties for 10 years, Katai joined The ADA for Kunikida ( Katai joining the ADA kunikida, is actually in the LN between them)

But, it was never specified why he left ADA.

In my headcanon, Katai left because he felt like burden to Kunikida and felt like he couldn't protect him as a partner.

"Katai looks at Kunikida and smiles"Thank You". Before pushing Kunikida out the building. the building explodes and goes up in flames

Kunikida lands in the water, watching the building go up in flames. He joined the agency to save lives, and yet he hasn't saved any, He couldn't even save his own best friend. "

(Yeah, Imma find a way to traumatize Kunikiiiidddaa-kuuuun more)

Damn i wish i was better at writing XD.

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

Now that Kelli has been gone for a bit, I feel like I can get this off my chest: Wolf Productions done fucked up.

Not for the first time, and not right from square one. But gosh, what a waste.

Kelli Giddish's Rollins was the only female character with the depth and acting chops behind her on the show since Cabot was a regular. She showed up and was able to go toe to toe with Mariska in carrying episodes - both personally related to her character, or to cases - not to mention had electric chemistry with Benson (sexual or not, take your pick).

With all the flack that SVU had taken over the years for not having a more diverse cast in regards to sexuality, Amanda was the earliest and best opportunity they had to develop a complex, interesting storyline of an adult woman coming to her sexuality late in life. I am not even necessarily the most ravenous Rolivia Shipper out there, but I'm heartbroken that they took Amanda's character over the years into the most boring, obvious, dissatisfying of directions.

I adored Amanda's wild/problematic side. Her episodes with her fighting with Amaro, dealing with her gambling addiction, shooting her sister's ex, or going rogue undercover are my favorite episodes of basically the last 10 yrs of the show. It was so good to finally have someone in the squad who was easier to relate to in a real-world sense. Someone who went to a Big Girl job in the day, but in the off hours was a mess with a rebellious streak.

It was always my hope that they would turn around the storylines where she seemed to chase men that were purposely bad for her, into a realization that it was because she was more emotionally into women. It fits so perfectly with her childhood, her background, and had ready-made holes in existing canon where they could have written it in with ease. (Pretending to be Liv's gf at the sperm bank, the remarks she makes in the episode Plastic, questioning her second pregnancy, etc.)

Instead, they had Carisi mope after her for years, all through the seasons where she showed no interest in him. I lost 50% of my respect for Carisi when he had that sulking tantrum after she fucked the bartender in Intent (a sexist double-standard btw, which would have never flown with fans if it had been Rollins pouting bc Carisi turned her down), and the other 50% after Carisi became ADA, with the writers seeming to then write him as rather victim-blaming.

The biggest irony, in my opinion, is that Dick Wolf complains that giving the fans EO will make the show too 'soap opera-y,' when what he/they did with Rollisi and Kelli's exit was far and away the most soap opera-esque thing they ever wrote! Fuck off with that obvious shit! Oh, the once-troubled blonde who is now straight as an arrow, rides off into the sunset with the Catholic altar boy and trades her powerful feminist position for a 9-5 (don't come for me, there's nothing wrong w being a professor, that's not the point here) and her two kids. Eat all of my ass, Mr. Cis-het, White, Only-Primetime-Billionaire Wolf. 🙄***

To make matters worse, they specifically brought in a POC actress to play a bisexual character, only to write her out as fast as possible for absolutely no discernable reason!?! The utter waste of what they did with Kat Tamin is an equal travesty. Give me Kat waking up in Amanda's bed. Give me Amanda making pancakes for breakfast and Kat carrying the kids to the table. Give me anything but the bullshit, Caucasian tripe that they sold us with Rollisi!!!

*takes deep breath*

And if - IF - the powers that be couldn't think beyond the end of an average-length cock when it came to Rollins, then for the love of all that is holy: her chemistry with Sergeant Khaldun was 1) vastly more believable 2) hotter 3) more diverse as an overall cast option and 4) less cringeworthily obvious.

I have loved SVU since I was 16 yrs old, and even though I gave up watching it around The People v. Richard Wheatley (for reasons unrelated to this specific rant), I still lurk in the background and keep myself vaguely caught up. But it's getting impossible to defend a lot of the choices they have made in the last three or four years. Good talent is so hard to hang onto these days in H'wood, and Dick Wolf seems just as, if not more, determined to fuck up his show as Chris Carter was in the 90s with TXF.

Thanks for coming to my TED Rant. 😮‍💨✌🏻

- HeartEyes4Mariska

***Not to mention the Barisi Shippers got robbed in the process.

[sstudiess]

I decided to torture myself and read my old journals. This is what I found and here is the wrapped:

Iconic/cringefail quotes from my old journals:

Dec 2015

"There are some things man can't change and on that list the top spot is reserved for the never ending chatter of kids."

April 2016

"i want to be a wanderer who travels in search of Justin Bieber songs and Hollywood movies"

Sept 2016

"Now I will tell you the biggest tragedy of my life. I've decided to not get into the 'gf and bf' stuff before I join NASA so I'm in a kind of dilemma."

Jan 2017

"My love life is as bad as ever but I'm looking forward to this year because according to the horoscope, my love life is gonna be amazing!"

"Now, I think that the whole school is going to know that I and xxxxx are gonna have a secret rendezvous!"

"She said that I would've aroused doubt in her mind by saying that cause nobody says I hate you to someone in private!"

March 2017

"...And the fact that life has nothing romantic to offer me, makes me more into these books! Reading people's stories when my own love story is at mortal peril!"

"What she gets after giving her best shot is almost equal to what I get after doing almost nothing at all!"

Jan 2018

"Speaking of fictional boyfriends, I'm totally over xxxx now."

Feb 2018

"I am not the chosen one nor I'm half-angel but I do have a shitty life"

"If i were in America, people would make fun of me still, but not in this way"

"I am too creative to handle my thoughts for sure."

"I know this world is big and full of possibilities but just for once, i want this world to be small for me, i want just one possibility."

"I said my love life was a square but then she said it was a triangle. I didn't agree, so we ended up calling it an 'angle', or rather, a traingle with no base."

March 2018

"I am scared for the future, for everything that is gonna come after this one year. All i have right now is a mantra 'padh le beta, 12 hai' "

"We need to find a rebound crush for me."

May 2018

"I've been binge watching thirteen reasons why. I am on the 6th ep of season 2. I kinda like that show. It was soo depressing, it helped me forget my depression"

August 2020

"I have never been this lonely, but i have never been this happy either. I needed this more than i can ever admit"

"I know I'm capable of being loved, of loving again, so I will root for that hope."

"Being a popular author is a dream only a few people get to live. Rest others are forced to live a life of oblivion, their books and creations tucked into darkness." 

Oct 2020

"It seems as if I have forced myself to stay within these walls"

Jan 2021

"Why do I hold my thoughts like Atlas holding up the weight of the entire world? I do not feel like I'm crumbling from the weight but there's this haze of heavy thoughts upon me that I cannot seem to lift."

"I have been building this world of thoughts and words. These thoughts in the form of books, movies, songs, they belong to someone else. All they do for me is dampen the intensity of the ones that actually belong to me."

"It's waiting, the spirit in me, she will burst me open with exhilaration when she thinks the time is right. She is fickle, she needs beauty, she needs a constant change of scenery."

"This will be your fall, you are Icarus, dying to touch the sky so much, you are dying to die. No no, you do not want to die. You are just agitated, angry, your defiance is performative. You're just bored out of your wits." 

"I should not want it, I am aware, but due to reasons completely irrational, i will be forgoing my last two braincells in favour of the straited muscles (the heart)."

"I JUST FOUND OUT LADY ADA LOVELACE WAS THE DAUGHTER OF THE ICONIC LORD BYRON. Hence for reasons completely irrational, i will be passing away."

"Hope is a dangerous game to play with yourself."

"My love for him is an ocean with unfathomable depths. He is a swimming pool. If he jumps, he will drown in my intensity. If i jump, I will hit my head. We both will die. Death is romantic, say the poets of old. Well, not this one, this death will be humiliating."

"We are academics, we explore the world through books, always living on the sidelines, we do not participate. We live in the past. We love art, yet we fail to make any. We love the world, we want to change it but we never try. We will never be heard except one day, sorting through dusty books, another lover will find us in pages, but we will never be able to create any real change. We deal with the mind, sometimes the heart, with the art we create. We cannot touch the tangible, our realm is the intangible and that is where we come alive. The problem however, is that we will never be remembered. John Keats was right when he said his name was written in water. Isn't everyone else's too? Ours specifically, is written on the waves. We do not create an effect, we are only felt. But I believe there are some who change the world like a Tsunami does. Shakespeare, remember? What did he do for the world? Nothing. He just wrote plays."

"I believe in love as the driving force that makes this ugly and unbearable world tolerable and meaningful." 

"You cannot nullify love just like you cannot nullify the existence of God." 

Feb 2021

"Valentine's day is a capitalist holiday. Even if it wasn't, there is no reason for celebrating it." 

"I am going for the crazy poet/scholar look these days so it hurts when i have to cut or comb my hair."

"We carry our home in our hearts. I do too, because if I didn't, I'd be homeless." 

April 2021

The Generation Z are a faithless and purposeless generation. We believe in equality, we have opinions- a lot of them but we don't have ideologies to follow or governments to overthrow. We have a fire in us that burns bright, but with no purpose, it seems to me that we're getting wasted." 

"I got a cousin baby brother! I'll admit, I did not like him much in the beginning, he looked like a shriveled potato but after they washed him up, I saw in the pictures that he looks like me!"

"Realism, pessimism, optimism- they're all words. We're all three and neither."

"Majority of the content in my journal includes me pining over a guy I dated for a month."

May 2021

"It's like looking at your scars years later, you see a fair patch of skin, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't make you feel the past pain, but it fills you with a sense of awe and wonder at your body, at its strength and its resilience." 

"I have learned the unbearable art of silencing the voice in my head. It is boring without it." 

July 2021 

"I didn't get any gifts and I was barred from buying more books" (on 20th b'day)

Jan 2022

" I have 99 problems and 110 of them would be solved if I lived alone in a small cottage on top of a hill."

"When it comes to the Romantics, I think I'm like John Keats. The sad but joyful/optimistic bastard that coughed blood and died. In all seriousness, I don't think I'm any more special or unique than this particular sad twink. It's a bummer really, because I actually aspire to be like Lord Byron. The bisexual disaster, obnoxiously charming and smart asshole that you want to punch in the face but then are too enamored by. Byron, the accidental hero, the adventurer and the rebel. That's who I want to be….. but Byron is Byron, I am not him. I am not mentally ill enough to pull off that sort of charisma." 

"I can exist and others too and we all can be the main characters. Existence isn't a competition. Not everything is." 

"I have always been single in my entire life of 21 years except for a month. I have been happy in my entire life of 21 years except for a month." 

"I made up things, I wanted a story. I look for a story everywhere- that's what we do." 

[chuulyssa]

Hello, darling!

Could I request a Dazai x reader hurt/comfort where an old lover or one night stand of Dazai's comes to the agency to try and seduce him to get him back while knowing full well he's in a happy relationship with reader? This happens in front of reader and reader gets jealous and a lil insecure but hides it cause she didn't wanna seem like a gf who gets jealous easily. However, she confides into Yosano and Atsushi and they end up telling Dazai cause they can see how affected reader really is :( Dazai then comes to comfort reader and reassure them that he only loves them and no one could change that etcetc

So sorry for the long request 😭 I understand if you don't wish to write this! Remember to eat, hydrate, and take breaks :)

𝙨𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨 — the past causes a hindrance in your sweet present with dazai

𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚 — fluff, hurt/comfort

𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 — dazai x reader ft. ada members

You were never too upset about Dazai's past. Sure, he did have a lot of flings along the way, but you had decided on the day you accepted his uncharacteristically shaking hands and nervous words that the past was the past.

He was the sweetest person ever, so much so that you wondered if he was human at all. He seemed more of a cuddly little kitten, what with all the skin-ship he required on an hourly basis.

It had gotten to the point that after breaking a total of 237 pen nibs, Kunikida had stopped reacting to the PDA and cheesy compliments Dazai threw your way completely.

Today had been no different. You were sitting on your chair, humming a little tune and refilling a document to submit a copy to the President. Dazai sat beside you, swinging around in Atsushi's chair after bullying the latter into buying food for your date after work.

“Bellaaaaaaaaaaa,” he groaned. “Is it done yettttt?”

You let out a little chuckle.

“Just a few more details.”

“But I need attention! Your attention,” his lips curved downwards dramatically, and he raised his wrist to collide with his forehead like a teenage girl. “I’m so sick! I’m gonna die! Without you!”

“You’re not sick, baby, just dramatic.”

He inhaled loudly.

“What!? Of course, I’m sick,” he dropped himself to his chair and leaned back on it, hugging his knees in a failed attempt at shivering.

You scoffed and touched the back of your hand to his forehead, watching him melt under it.

“You’re not sick.”

He whined.

“Bella, pleaseeeee. One kiss—”

“Um, Dazai-san, there’s someone here to meet you,” Atsushi interrupted timidly, packets of snacks in his hand, which Ranpo was eyeing keenly.

Dazai pouted. “Tell them I’m having my alone time with my girlfriend.”

“A-alone time!?” spluttered Atsushi.

Dazai waved him away.

“Why don’t you just go and check it out, idiot? Anyway, you’re not having any ‘alone time’ here with Y/N with half of the agency in the same room as the two of you. Also, you’re annoying her and all of—” ranted Kunikida.

“Oh, I wouldn’t go if I were him,” chided Ranpo, and Kunikida turned red on being contradicted by his senior.

“I understand, Ranpo-san, but Dazai is absolutely insufferable and—”

“Hey,” you nudged Dazai off your shoulder amidst the ramblings of your co-worker. He looked up at you with his big brown eyes. “Go on. I’ll be there as soon as I finish this.”

“Only because you’re saying so,” announced Dazai and he stood up, stuffing his hands in his pockets and sauntering his way out. You smiled slightly and continued your paperwork, muttering information to yourself.

After a while, you stood to stretch, glancing towards the door where Dazai had disappeared. Time seemed to crawl at a slow pace without him around. You wondered what took him so long, leaving you sandwiched between Kunikida’s persistent groaning over his to-do list and Ranpo casually helping himself to all of your snacks.

“B-but, Ranpo-san!” Atsushi stammered. “They’re for Dazai-san.”

“Well, they’re mine now,” Ranpo replied keenly, and you stifled a laugh.

“You already have many of your own.”

“And? Those are guaranteed to be eaten by me, these aren’t. So I’ll deal with these first, then move on to the rest.”

You stood up to have a short break at the cafe. You could almost smell Dazai jumping at you the moment he saw you after you promised him from a mile away.

As soon as you reached the door of the Agency building, though, you heard raised voices from outside. Strange, you thought, did someone lose their way?

“Girlfriend, boyfriend, you’ve given me that shit all the time, Osamu,” a female voice simpered. Your stomach churned at the impractical sweetness of the sound. You weren’t one to intrude on Dazai’s business, but something about the tone unsettled you.

Unlocking the door quietly, not too much but enough to be able to see what was going on outside, you saw Dazai speaking with a woman. Tall, strikingly beautiful, and with the kind of effortless grace that made you feel slightly self-conscious despite yourself. She was draped in an outfit that seemed tailored to her every curve, and her laugh — a little too loud and intimate — echoed in the hallway. You stiffened as her hand came up to gently touch Dazai’s arm.

“Osamu,” she cooed, her voice honeyed, “You haven’t changed at all. Still playing hard to get?”

You cringed. She stepped closer, and Dazai didn’t reciprocate her touch. But he didn’t move away either. Instead, he offered her one of his usual easy-going smiles — something he told you he reserved only for you.

“Maybe we could catch up later,” she continued, her fingers lingering on his sleeve. “For old times’ sake?”

You took a step back. Maybe you could find some more work to do around the agency. Strolling back to where the rest of the members were, you caught Ranpo's eye, and he gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Ranpo-san,” you said half-heartedly, determined to distract yourself with the new interaction that occurred between your boyfriend and his old ‘fling’. “Didn’t you say you had a case pending?”

“Booooo. Why do I have to solve every case in this town?” Nevertheless, Ranpo stood up, knocking a desperate Atsushi off the side of his chair accidentally. “Whoops, sorry. Anyway, let’s go.”

Yosano was the first to notice something off about you. She placed her medical kit on the desk and eyed you, an eager look on her face. “Y/N, you alright? You look a little pale. Maybe you’re sick.”

You shook your head, forcing a smile. “I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”

Yosano raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Does this have anything to do with the woman Dazai was talking to earlier?”

You blinked, not realizing you had been so transparent. “How did you—?”

“Ranpo-san said it was written all over your face,” Yosano said plainly. “And I agree. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Atsushi, who had just returned from getting reprimanded by Kunikida for his ‘irresponsible’ snack duties, chimed in with a concerned expression. “Yeah, is something wrong? You let Ranpo-san eat all the snacks you wanted for your date.”

“Well, he was hungry, so—”

“Don’t lie,” Yosano said firmly.

You sighed, dropping your facade. “It’s stupid, really. I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but… I don’t know. She was just so — so confident and familiar with him. I trust Dazai, I do, but seeing them together like that made me feel — small.”

Yosano’s eyes softened, and Atsushi gave you a sympathetic nod.

“You know, Dazai’s an idiot sometimes,” Yosano said bluntly. “But even he’s not stupid enough to let someone like that mess with what he has now.”

Atsushi nodded vigorously. “Yeah, Dazai-san is always talking about you!” he shuddered, recalling the traumatic missions he had to spend with the brunette where he rambled about your beauty and his undying love for you. “It’s clear he’s crazy about you.”

You smiled weakly. “She’s not wrong at all. He’s very attractive, and she should definitely shoot her shot. I’m not even mad at her.”

“Well, I am,” Yosano clenched her teeth. “She’s not the one who spent hours fixing that broken man. You are. And let me have a talk with Dazai. I’ll run my axe over him.”

Your journey home was uneventful. Sliding your keys into the shared apartment of you and Dazai, you remembered how the latter had not even looked at you when you walked out of the agency with your stuff. He probably hadn’t noticed you, thinking of that other woman, you slid under the covers of your bed sourly.

A while later, he strode into the room, his carefree expression replaced with something more serious. His eyes scanned the room until they found you, and he immediately made a beeline for your side.

“Bella, what’s wrong?” His voice was softer, his usual playfulness set aside. “Atsushi told me you weren’t feeling great, and Yosano gave me an earful about something I couldn’t hear.”

You looked down, biting your lip. “It’s nothing, really. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

Dazai lay down beside you, reaching for your hands. His fingers laced with yours as he gazed up at you, his eyes unusually sincere. “Hey, look at me.”

Reluctantly, you met his gaze.

“Bella,” he murmured, his thumb brushing against your knuckles, “I don’t care who she was. Or what we had, if you could even call it that. You’re the only one I want. The only one I need.”

His words hung in the air, and you felt the tightness in your chest begin to ease.

“I’m with you because I love you,” Dazai continued. “No one else even comes close.”

You opened your mouth to protest, to tell him you weren’t upset, but he cut you off.

“And don’t think for a second that you’re ���just upset,’ okay? I’d probably feel the same way if some guy started throwing himself at you.”

A small smile tugged at your lips at the image of Dazai trying to fend off a suitor.

“Trust me, Bella,” he whispered, pulling you into his arms, “there’s no one in the world who could ever make me look away from you.”

You buried your face in his chest, finally letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. His arms tightened around you as if to reassure you that he wasn’t going anywhere. That you were enough. Always enough.

“Now we can have our date,” he said enthusiastically.

“You still remember that?”

“Well, yeah,” he reached out to pick up the food parcels he had kept on the nightstand. “I’ll never forget when I get to spend time with you.”

[loveissilentlyworthit]

Just because I'm her boyfriend doesn't mean you could just ignore me. Kau boleh je tegur awek aku tapi aku jugak kau palau. I don't bite honestly but you treat me like I didn't exist. I'm saying this because I'm concerned of you. Look, we may not talk each other or know how much you have been going through but you need to stop hanging with the thought that people always ignore you. That's guilt tripping, and I know you guilt trip me and its not nice. If that's how you want me to open up to you first before you open up first to me, fine. Let me help you. We all have limited social batteries and its fine, but never give up to open up to someone. Look, no one likes being a cuck, we both ain't overly jealous type but me and my gf are always cool to each other whichever boys and girls we interact, as long as we don't let our dick and pussy being used or stolen by anyone else, and to say my dick belongs to my girl and her pussy belongs to me. That's a straightforward thing to say. I don't believe in fitnah or fake posts or whatever but as long as we clarify and confirm.

Honestly, I had faith within you that you can still vibe with people you can trust the most, but it seems that you threw it all away. You keep bitching that you can't speak English and have a language barrier just because you're bad at speaking English. Look, I don't care how broken or fluent your English is. Speak simple English is still fine buddy as long as I can still understand you and yes, some words in English can cause some certain double meanings and words that will gaslight, whether it's intentional or not. You ended up being a typical clout chaser and that's why you yourself guilt trip people for not being so communicative with you. And oh don't give me those words like "you all are always speaking in English, speak Malay guys, I'm sick of speaking with you all in English" Like are those really nice things to say to people since most nerds in ACG community speak English? You literally have no idea in the business world that people speak English as their secondary language. You can't make up an excuse for this. All I heard is that you have a lot of problems getting along with Chinese ACG friends. And I'm sorry to say this you sounded more like you're the racist one here.

Ni dah ibarat org dah cakap depan kat kau and tegur kau sebab diaorg sayang kau, tapi kau buat masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri. Masa awek aku tegur and wave hi dekat kau and aku pun sekali, kau tak nak open up and tegur aku. Kau ingat aku ni jenis overprotective and overjealous kalau awek aku bergambar and approach any male or female friends? Takde, aku relax je. Awek aku pun faham aku sama. Aku jalan ngan awek aku pun kau palau. I have friends that aren't in my gf's circle and there are friends from my gf's circle that aren't in me. Memang lah aku dah lama tak datang event sebab aku nak prioritize diri aku, kau ingat aku dah lupa bendul tak ingat semua if not all? Stop playing dumb. Aku tengok timeline kau banyak post depressed, terlebih kejar clout lah kau ni. No wonder ada satu dua account kau deactivate sebab kau acting immature and think the world revolves around you. Aku nampak ada satu account je yg active dekat kau on muka buku and cepat kilo, cuma rajin tukar nama and username. Aku harap you find solace, hope and change within you. Please, stop with all of that clout chasing and stop saying "macam kau kenal sangat semua pasal aku". Think back and fix what's wrong with you.

[jadegreenimmortality]

hello! your header said requests are open so here i am 👉👈

if it’s okay, may i request hcs for atsushi when he just keeps accidentally (and unintentionally ofc) ignoring/neglecting his gf (or gender neutral if you wish) because of yk, ada detective stuff and exhaustion?? if possible angst to fluff or just overall hurt comfort pls :)

ive been going through smth similar with a close firmed so yeah haha

i hope you have a nice day or evening!😊

Atsushi accidentally neglecting his s/o

A/N: Heyyy dearest anon! Thank you so, so much for requesting, I am glad you deemed me worthy!!!! (ノ▽〃) I am truly sorry to get to this so late, my writing schedule is just not made for emergency comfort requests and I hope that whatever was going on with your close friend is long resolved by now. (≧≦) If not, this hopefully will bring you some comfort. <3

Pairings: Atsushi x gn! Reader

Genre: hurt to comfort

Warnings: angst, crippling self-doubt

Summary: Atsushi gets buried in work and doesn’t notice how this leads to him neglecting his s/o, until (y/n) has had enough of it. Fluffy ending.

Being the s/o of an ADA member in general is already hard. Any of them will work overtime regularly or just ignore regular work hours completely if need be. The burden to protect a whole city is heavy after all and you have to go to certain lengths to be able to do it justice.

But Atsushi is a very devoted s/o. Since you’ve stepped into his life, he’s been deeply thankful to have met you; even more when you became a couple. And although he has to deal with a high workload, he never failed to set time aside to spend with you. Until now.

You are used to him calling you in the late evening when he walks home to ask you about your day, only talking about his own day if you ask him to, because he doesn’t want to burden you with his matters. You are used to getting random texts throughout the day whenever he can spare a moment; asking you trivial things about your day or commenting on something he saw that reminded him of you. You are used to meeting up at least twice a week for lunch and spending most of the weekends together; you are used to having him close to you, even though his work keeps him physically away from you most of the time.

But lately, he barely calls you anymore. You start to feel a painful sting in your chest whenever you sit by the phone waiting even past midnight, hoping he might still call. Lately, his texts have gotten shorter and strangely impersonal; still peppered with emojis, but even seven differently coloured hearts can’t compare to a proper message with actual content after a week; lately, he’s been late to your lunch meetings or have been cancelling them altogether. In short, he’s been more and more absent.

At the start, you were just worried. Knowing his line of work, you were pretty positive he was working a bit too much lately, but you didn’t wish to burden him further by asking for his attention, which is why you didn’t express the accumulating sense of rejection and hurt which started to arise after weeks passed by with no changes in his behaviour.

And the continued absence started to get worse. After three weeks, he started to run late at Fridays, sending you a million “I’m so sorry’s” via text because he had, yet again, to work overtime. It’s fine, you told yourself, as you stared at the dinner you had prepared in your excitement to finally see him again, which would now get cold.

When he finally arrived, he looked exhausted. It made you forget the painful tightness in your chest for a moment. He looked just too pitiful, his face adorned by quite visible, blue-ish shadows under his eyes, his body slumped forward in the clear need of rest. When you hugged him, his reaction was weak and a yawn escaped his mouth the moment you leaned back. But his smile was as sweet and loving as ever, so you had mercy on the poor, tired soul and decided to draw him a hot bath. Maybe a bit of relaxing together in the bathub would lift his spirits, and you could just eat afterwards…

But when you came back to the living room, you found him fast asleep on the couch, one arm resting over his eyes to shield him from the ceiling light. You just didn’t have the heart to wake him up…even though you suddenly felt all alone again, his physical presence seeming only a weak replacement for actual time spend together.

The rest of the weekend made you largely forget your pain though. After a good night’s rest, Atsushi finally seemed to be back to his old self again: a cheerful, soft-mannered and caring boyfriend you could share your life with. You were hoping that there was no need to bring up the matter anymore. And he didn’t bring it up either; he didn’t notice the way your smile faltered when he mentioned how much word he had to do lately.

Your hopes were in vain. The week following that one was the worst yet. You barely got a text a day, some of them purely emojis, and you didn’t meet to eat lunch together even once. You felt yourself get close to the point of despair – not that your happiness depended on him, but could you even call him your boyfriend when he seemed to have forgotten that you existed? The hurt and pain started to get slowly replaced by anger and a subtle, yet very persistent fear of abandonment. You felt guilty for thinking about him this way – sweet, kind Atsushi, deep down you knew he would never neglect you consciously - but it was still getting harder and harder for you to remember.

The breaking point came on Friday. Even though it felt cynical, you already didn’t expect Atsushi to be on time – but you didn’t expect him to send you a text (a text!!) saying that he wouldn’t be able to make it and he’d come over the next day. It was the exact moment you finished reading the message that you lost it.

Something inside you – the dam holding in all the different emotions that build up over the past few weeks – crumbled. Your next actions were purely impulsive, logical thinking reduced to tired little speck in your mind.

You dialed Atsushi’s number. As he picked up, you didn’t leave the man even half a second to greet you and just sobbed into the phone: “Please come over. Now.”

Yes, sobbed. You didn’t register when the tears started to flow over and stain your face, but now you were trembling from the uncontrolled hiccups that interrupted your words.

And then you hung up.

Atsushi was on your doorstep 15 minutes later and ringing the doorbell like a maniac.

He was close to panicking. He was talking to Kunikida before he got the call, who witnessed his face turn paler than the moon after you hung up. Atsushi was in clear distress and proceeded to bow deeply, sputtering something about being very sorry and making it up to the older colleague, then spurting out of the room without even taking his bag with him. Kunikida didn’t dare to interfere.

Now, Atsushi has had his fair share of clashes with rivaling organizations already. He has witnessed people getting held hostage, kidnapped and threatened, including himself. So of course that is where his mind goes after receiving your call and when he arrives, he’s in a state of mind close to panic.

Imagine his relief when you open the door shortly after, physically unharmed. He grabs you by the shoulder, looking you up and down to check for any injuries. The relief only lasts a split second though because as he takes a close look at your face, his eyes widen in shock.

He doesn’t need his emotional radar to realize that something is wrong with you. Your eyes are puffy and red from all the crying, your cheeks are stained from the endless stream of tears and your lower lip is still trembling when you open him the door. You see his expression change from alert and highly worried to a second of relief and then to deeply worried again. It’s touching, really, and you are thankful to see the man you love still care about you as much as you care about him, but right now, you are too upset to let that be enough.

“(y/n)? What happened? What’s wrong??”

You drag him into the living room while he tries to find out what has happened, confused and unsettled by your behaviour. The whole situation is giving him a high level of anxiety as he feels the urgent need to ease whatever pain you are going through and, at the same time, starts to get the vague, yet suffocating feeling that he missed something terribly important.

As you sit him down on the couch and take a seat in front of him, he’s already desperately wracking his brain to understand what he could’ve done wrong, and the more he struggles to understand, the worse his desperation gets. This man is inclined to blaming the whole world’s suffering on himself and seeing his partner in such distress without understanding is already torture to him – especially as you won’t react to his questions at all.

As you start talking, his hands are folded in a cramped up position in front of his body to keep them from trembling.

At first, you manage to keep your composure while you recount what has happened. He listens attentively and eager to understand; and as the terrible realization dawns on him what had led to your current state, it doesn’t take him long to fall into an emotional pit of self-hate for not noticing his negligent behaviour. While you keep talking, you can observe how he lowers his head to avoid your gaze, hands clasping into tight fists on his knees.

He’s in a state of shock, caught between the terrible blame he’s putting upon himself and the need to somehow, in any way, make it up to you. He’s terribly afraid this may be the end of it; of your relationship, your love, everything the two of you had. He has disappointed you, he has proven to be unreliable and useless after all – that’s what the voice in his head, wearing the face of his old orphanage caretaker, is telling him.

Somewhere midway through your recount, the tears start flowing again. Even in his state of turmoil, Atsushi’s emotional radar registers your current mood swing. He automatically lifts a hand to wipe your tears away - only to have you slap it away.

You’re both shocked from your outburst of emotion, and you feel guilt spike as you see the evident hurt on his face, knowing well that he doesn’t bode well with violence in the domestic environment. That is when the anger finally dissolves and leaves back nothing but pain and the dreaded loneliness inside of you. You struggle to finish your monologue between hiccups and recurring sobs, now talking about how it all made you feel and how you didn’t want to burden him further by asking for more attention. You keep your head low, struggling not to break down physically, all the emotion that busted out of you leaving you empty and exhausted.

In the meantime, Atsushi’s mind is screaming at him. Your slap dragged him out of his shock-induced paralysis, but his head won’t stop spinning around the same questions. He made you suffer with his behaviour and he didn’t even notice. How could that happen? How could he let it go this far?

It’s only when stop talking that he dares to talk. For a few seconds, a heavy, cold silence falls over the room, nothing to be heard but both of your tears hitting the sofa. Then:

“I’m sorry.”

His voice sounds like a crumbled piece of paper, barely audible as he chokes on his words.

“I know that there is nothing I can say to make this up to you. I can see in terrifying clarity that I messed up. I just hope that there is something that I can do for you to forgive me.”

That’s were his voice starts trembling.

“I know I am not worthy of your love anymore, but I will do everything in my power to make it up to you, even if that there’s nothing I can offer you -”

By this point, Atsushi is crying too. His tears are almost silent as he muffles his sobs, not wanting to make you feel guilty for making him cry.

What he doesn’t know is that your angers has long dissipated by now. The moment he dares to lift his gaze, whole body slightly shaking from the hold-in sobs, that you realize all of this isn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want to yell at him, berate or tell him what a horrible boyfriend he has been. You didn’t want him to look so hurt, or guilty, or fearful. You just wanted him to acknowledge you again, to remember to text you, to feel his affection and love and be able to show him yours. You can’t deny that it makes you feel relieved to see him have such a strong emotional reaction though – a tiny part of you is satisfied to see how much he does indeed care for you. But this is no reason to keep him suffering.

You cut him off with a hug. It may be a simple gesture, but as you lean forward and wrap your arms around his slender shoulders, you can feel how his tense body slumps forward, falling into the embrace. Don’t get me wrong, his thoughts are still spinning 180 miles an hour and his eyes widen with the sudden gesture of love, but his body knows instinctively what it wants, how much he longed for your embrace.

“Eh? (y/n)?” – “It’s okay, Atsushi. I’m so sorry that I yelled at you…it’s alright now. I’m sorry, this is not how I wanted this to end.”

Your voice is just as shaky as his and as your equally tired body sinks against him and you press your tear-stained cheek against Atsushi’s, he’s finally able to relax. He wraps his arms around you and presses you against him in a most desperate manner, one hand buried in your hair, one on your back.

You stay like that seemingly forever, listening to each other’s heart beats, buried in each other’s warmth while you calm down. You finally start to feel again what you’ve been craving the last weeks: the safety, the closeness and the trust in Atsushi’s love and care for you. And you’re determined to make him feel the same.

So when you peel out of his strong grip, you proceed to take his hands in yours and lean your forehead against his, steadying him physically first. You continue with trying to steady him mentally second, repeating that you love him and you only felt so hurt because you feared he may be starting to lose interest in you. You assure him that this does not bring you even close to the end of your relationship and that every couple has fights of the sort, yes, even ones this bad. You repeat this again and again, until you can see the of hope in his eyes that you were waiting for.

Even though things have calmed down now, the two of you stay up all night. You started with changing into more comfortable clothing and ordering take-out. When it arrives, you sit down at the couch instead of the table, craving each other’s closeness. You snuggle up under a cosy blanket and eat, silently basking in each other’s presence.

After finishing your meal and feeling a bit recovered, you start talking again. You remind him that, even though your current emotional struggle is solved now, the problem at hand isn’t, asking him to be less compliant at the agency and not accept every task that may significantly extend his working hours.

You both know that it will be a struggle for him; of course it will, as a part of him still believes his level of helpfulness to measure his worth in the world. But he understands now that he can’t comply to everything if he wants to keep his life together and he’s determined not to let something like this happen ever again. He still feels guilty, he still feels like he failed at being your boyfriend, but after your reassurances, these feelings are more of an incentive for him to better himself. All of this he says out loud, smiling cautiously, but with the warmth you do love so much.

He promises to work less and put more time aside for you again. After you thank him, he asks you shyly for a favour in return: to approach him faster if you ever notice similar behaviour to happen again.

“I don’t want you to have to suffer through the same thing ever again.”

If you needed any last proof that he means it, this is it. You can’t do anything but reach forward to grab his face and give him a short, yet loving kiss. It’s only after that that you whisper in response:

“Only if you promise the same.”

[rafivadafreddy]

Kissing Secrets

A fivr part story about our favorite ADA Rafael Barba and his FBI gf.

Summary: What happens when the SVU squad meets Rafaels’ girlfriend, but under not so great circumstances?

Word Count: 2,373 Warnings: Cursing, angry couple, Spanish, angst, talk of rape and drug case.

Dating never came easy to Rafael Barba. But when he found someone with a job as hectic as him. It was perfect. Neither expected much from the other, when one had to cancel the other would understand. 

Of course, Y/N would be more than understanding. She had two bachelor degrees under her belt and after long days and nights with the 20 weeks of New Agent Training with the FBI at Quantico. She, just like Rafael, worked hard to get where she was. Trying to make a name for herself. Starting at twenty-five and becoming a special agent before her twentieth eight birthday, Y/N knew she would make it.

Y/N and Rafael met when she was looking for a job, needing to complete two years of work experience to become a special agent. Working as a rookie cop in a district in Brooklyn. Well, one night an angry cuban man walks into the precinct. His fancy three piece suit was a mess and he claims he was assaulted. Knife wound to his arm, Y/N was the cop to take care of him.

One thing led to another, Rafael left the precinct with a smile. Having left his number behind for the cop. To ‘call’ if she had any questions about his assault. Of course, Y/N was able to find the guy who assaulted the ADA and was able to get his phone back from the man.

Almost three years passed and they were still happy with the other. Dinners, nights in and a couple who were in love with the other. Y/N met his mother and his abuelita, things were perfect. So, when Y/N graduated, celebrating the fact that she made it through the FBI academy. Thankfully, Y/N was able to stay at the federal bureau of investigation in New York City.

»---------------------►

A few months into her new job, Y/N felt as if she was on a high. It was her biggest case yet and it was hers… well, her’s along with her partner, Agent Shawn Carter. Having been staying overtime the past month, getting together evidence and witnesses to take down an organized sex trafficing crime involving a drug lord that’s on their most wanted list, Y/N wasn’t about to let anything get in the way of her bringing every last one of them down. Especially when the last victim she was notified of was a thirteen year old. 

“Hola mi amor…” Y/N smiled at the call of her boyfriend. Rafael had been her rock the past few years as Y/N worked on getting into the FBI.

“Hola mi corazón…” she heard him chuckle into the phone. “Dinner tonight? Think you can make it?”

Glancing at her watch, Y/N thought about it. “I think so yeah. We’re going to pick up a perp right now and if it all works out. I’ll be able to spend all night with you.” She told him and sighed. “I’m sorry for being super busy lately.”

“Hey, none of that. I understand. It 's your job. My girlfriend, the badass FBI agent.” the two laughed and Y/N smiled.

“My boyfriend, the hot shot ADA. I’ll get out early to have dinner with you. No matter what, you’ll come first tonight.” She told him, noticing they were nearing Manhattan.

“Now, now… You know you always come first when we’re together.” Y/N could hear the smirk as he spoke and she just laughed.

Saying goodbye with many ‘i love you’s’ Y/N put her phone away and sighed, the smile feeling permanent on her lips. 

Ten minutes later, the black car pulled up outside the Special Victims Unit of the 16th precinct. Both Y/N and Shawn looked at one another before nodding. It wasn’t going to be fair and it wasn’t like they knew. But the SVU team had picked up a perp they had been watching and started an investigation on him. Something Y/N couldn’t let happen. No this was her case.

Walking into the building and getting directions to the SVU floor, Y/N walked with her head held high. The skinny jeans she wore, along with the blue button down shirt. She made sure to have her badge clipped to her pants. Gun in its holder and ID already out in her hand.

“Can I help you, agent?” a woman asked, making Y/N turn to look at a blonde who walked over. That caught the other detectives attention. 

They were already wondering why the FBI was there. 

“As a matter of fact you can. I’m special agent Y/N L/N and this is my partner, Agent Shawn Carter. I’m afraid I’m here to collect the perp you have in custody along with everything you have against him.” she told the women, except her eyes were on a brunette woman. Whom Y/N knew was in charge. She did her research before storming into the precinct this way.

“Why should we do that? This is our case, don’t see why the Feds want a low life like him.” another detective spoke up and Y/N looked over at him. From his voice and stance, it was obvious he was angry.

“Calm down, Amaro.” the brunette finally spoke up. “Olivia Benson.” she introduced herself and Y/N shook her hand. “Now, you say you need this guy. Why? From what we’ve gathered, he’s just a scum who likes underage girls.”

With a sigh, Y/N nodded. But she didn’t say anything when a familiar voice spoke up. “What’s going on here?”

“Ah! Barba, you’re going to love this.” The Amaro fellow looked amused. “The FBI is here to take our case.”

“Oh yeah? On what grounds?” Barba asked.

“On the grounds that he’s a suspect in an ongoing Federal case.” Y/N said, turning to look at the man she just told she loved, not even half an hour ago. “Miguel Hernández raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl three days ago. And I know you guys picked him up cause he was caught in the act of raping another victim. Now imagine my surprise when I found out that SVU caught him. Even though notice went out to contact the FBI if Mr. Hernández is picked up by officers or detectives of New York.” she spoke, informing all of them, even though her eyes stayed on Rafael.

“He also has information about Lorenzo Torsney.” Shawn spoke up for the first time. 

“Wait, Torsney, the guy linked to the sex trafficking ring with the underage girls? The same Lorenzo who’s rumored to be the new Drug lord of New York?” some guy spoke up, his thick accent catching Y/Ns attention. 

“That’s the one.” Both agents spoke at the same time. “So, Lieutenant. The case files and Miguel if you please.” Shawn said and followed Bensen into her office to grab the paperwork to make the transfer. 

Y/N on the other hand went to look at the window that showed into the interrogation room. Hearing footsteps, Y/N smiled at the male and nodded to the detective seeing the coffee he got her. “Thanks…”

“Ah, Dominick Carisi, Jr. but everyone calls me Sonny.” the thick accent said and Y/N raised an eyebrow.

“I get the feeling, no one calls you, Sonny… Sonny.” she smirked and looked at Miguel again.

Thankfully he got quiet after that. Though what Y/N failed to notice was Rafael standing in the doorway. “Excuse us, Carisi.” he said, in his ‘this is my mad, but trying to stay professional” voice.

Sonny couldn't get out of the room faster, not that Y/N blamed him. She would have ran as well.

"You couldn't have told me on the phone that you were coming to pick up the guy from my case?" Rafael whispered, looking real mad. 

Yet, Y/N just rolled her eyes. "Tu caso? Last I heard, you were still working in fucking Brooklyn! Que diablos, Rafael!" She hissed at her boyfriend. "You changed fucking districts and never told me?"

"Oh, that's rich. Coming from the one always canceling our dates!" 

"¡Vete a la mierda!" Y/N narrowed her eyes. "Who canceled the last THREE dinners? Wasn't me, that's for fucking sure." She scoffed and pushed past him. 

"Real professional Detectives.." Y/N rolled her eyes at the SVU team all scrambling back to their desks. Pretending like they wern’t eavesdropping on Y/N and Rafael. 

"Y/N, vuelve aquí, ahora." 

Only, Y/N ignored him. Pulling out her phone, she had to put in a call for another agent to come out to the district and collect Miguel. All while ignoring Rafael. Who was trying to glare her into submission.

'Good luck, papi. Not gonna work now.' Y/N thought and  looked away from the detectives. Answering emails and texts on her phone. Already getting a location of where Shawn and her needed to go after leaving SVU. 

»»---------------------►

As Miguel was getting put into cuffs, both around his wrists and ankles. Y/N watched, making sure nothing would go wrong. Turning to the detectives, she gave them a sad smile.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t let you guys have this case.” she told them, sounding sincere. “If he wasn’t important to catching Torsney, I would have let you keep the case.” she added, thanking Shawn as he handed Y/N her FBI jacket.

Hearing two different scoffs, but from two cuben men. Y/N rolled her eyes and shook Olivia’s hand. “It’s fine, at least you’re getting him off the streets… and something tells me, you interrogating him will make what we did look like preschoolers.” she smirked and Y/N shrugged.

“Let’s just say, the cameras are not on all the time.” Shawn spoke up and Y/N shook her head. 

“Yes they are, thank you for giving me a heads up to watch all the interrogations you do from now on.” she narrowed her eyes and told him to go wait in the car. Saying goodbye, Y/N turned and made her way out. 

Getting into the car, Y/N rubbed a hand over her face and told Shawn they were needed over in the Bronx.

“So… that was your boyfriend. Huh?” the male next to her spoke up after a few minutes of silence in the car. 

Of course, with her telling him to shut up the car ride continued on quietly.

Hearing her phone let out a ping Y/N grabbed it and read the text from Rafael.

Papi: So, I guess we need to talk later.

Y/N: Yeah, I’ll tell you when I get off. Don’t know when that’ll be. There was a bomb over in the South Bronx. Was put on the case to deal with it.

Keeping the reply simple. Wanting Rafael to know she was mad at him. Not even replying to his ‘stay safe’ and not cause she didn’t want to. But because they had arrived and the scene they saw. It was a complete mess. 

News crews were filming everything happening, people being put into ambulances and being taken care of.

“OK! What do we know?” Y/N asked, tying her H/C hair up into a ponytail.

As they were getting information, Y/N looked around. Not knowing cameras were pointed towards both her and her partner.

Turning to the officer telling them what had happened, Y/N frowned. “What time was the explosion? Exactly.” she asked and Y/N felt like she paled when being told it had been Nine minutes.

“We need every emergency vehicle headed here stopped outside the perimeter, and evacuate the building.” she commanded and stopped when the Battalion Chief spoke up. 

“I got half a dozen guys inside checking structural damage, twice that many going door-to-door --”

 Y/N just cut him off. “Have them grab anyone they see, and get out. Now.” her confidence leaves no doubt and the man nods. Talking to everyone he can and getting as many people out as possible.

With Shawn helping out on the other side, also helping people move away from the building the explosion went off in. It left Y/N to run after a woman who was running towards the apartment building. Crying about how she wanted her son's body

Y/N was able to get her away, but when the second explosion hit, both her and the woman were flown forward. Y/N being knocked out.

Rafaels’ POV:

He was getting shit for not saying anything to the team about his FBI girlfriend. Not like he knew if they were even going to be that later on when they talk. But still, he sat there and let them poke and joke around. The team had gotten takeout and were relaxing since there were no other cases. Rafael deciding to join them (not like they gave him much of a choice in the matter)

“Hey, Barba… didn’t you say Y/N was out in the South Bronx?” Rollins asked, causing Rafael to turn away from Liv and look at the blonde detective.

Moving his head to see what she was looking at, Rafael felt a chill in his stomach as he watched the News on the TV. They were covering the story of what was happening.

The team were all quiet listening to the man speak, the camera moving to where Y/N stood with her partner. Rafael watched as she took charge of the situation, he felt proud of her. But he had a nagging feeling, seeing everyone move quickly at whatever command she gave.

“By the looks, Agent Y/N L/N of the FBI gave orders to evacuate the building. Will there be another explosion, how does she know to get everyone out of the building? Whatever it is, everyone seems to be listening….” but Rafael turned the man's voice out. 

In the background he could see Y/N running towards the woman and he shot up out of his seat when the second explosion happened. Cutting short the camera. No one was moving or saying anything as they just watched Rafael, who looked on the verge of a panic attack.

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart

[moral-turpitudes]

A Sister’s Intuition:

A/N: The gif has nothing to do with this one. It just made me chuckle cuz this most certainly has fighting.

Also, this is a weird mix of Arthur actually killing the church dude, but instead of Linda trying to shoot him right after like in the show, this story is like the event that causes her to go off the rails and try to shoot him (and fictionally, Y/N lol can you imagine). So this, in my fucked up mind, is the calm before the storm that is the lovely Linda with a gun.

Trigger Warnings: Fighting obviously, Mentions of Blood, Angst, Family Drama?, Cheating, Taunting, Swearing.

Word Count: 2,114

Characters: Shelby Family x Shelby!Sister Reader

Requested: Yes, well it was suggested but still. Long story short I have a bone to pick with my brothers gf and this was cathartic. 

Request by: Anon, you can find it here.

Summary: Linda is being Linda and Y/N can’t stand her messing with her brother Arthur’s head another day. She just snaps. People and their feelings get hurt. Nothing like a nice bloody family dinner at the Shelby-Gray household.

Y/N’s skin crawled as she heard the voice of the woman downstairs. Her heart racing and fists clenching as she heard the half-hearted laughs and forceful exchange of pleasantries that were painstakingly muttered by the rest of the Shelby family.

As she smoothed out her dress, she heard Polly calling for her, surely to help with setting the table for dinner. With shaking hands she opened her door, her eldest brother Arthur’s laugh echoing through the lavish house as she made her way down the stairs.

“Y/N, nice of you to join us.” Thomas said, patting her on the shoulder as she sulked to the kitchen, avoiding Linda’s ever-judgmental gaze.

“I’ll set the table.” She said, Polly nodding at her with an annoyed expression as she glanced out into the dining room. The feeling fortunately seeming mutual.

“How’s the farm treating you brother? Having fun with the baby?” Ada asked, as Karl reached for one of the rolls in the basket Y/N was setting down.

“It’s good, quiet.” He said, his eyes looking tired and emotionless as the years went by.

“Don’t eat too much now, you won’t want dinner sweetheart.” Ada said, giving him a warning glance as Y/N silently set the table, glancing at Arthur’s troubled state. Thomas couldn’t help but notice his youngest sisters rage as she harshly set the silverware down, especially the knives.

It had been two years since the first conflict between her and Linda. The whole thing starting as Linda slowly brainwashed Arthur. No one really noticed at first, how she sunk her claws into him. How he’d stop his excessive use of cocaine, or his anger fueled drunken rampages on a dime. How he’d mess up on missions, putting them at risk. Or how he started asking Linda for permission to go places and her ordering him to be home at certain times when on business. No one noticed that while some of his habits were best left in the past, he was also leaving part of himself. The part of him that she knew and grew up with. The part that smiled and joked. The part that didn’t question himself and his worth on a daily basis. This was how she pulled him in, and he was forever tied to her now. Seeing as their 1 year old sat in his lap, giggly and oblivious to the pressures and expectations he’d be raised on years later whether Arthur wanted him to be or not.

The big blow up between them though, was when Y/N learned she cheated. If she inherited one good thing in life from the Shelby family it was her intuition. Her ability to sense when a person meant harm. Her ability to know when someone was nothing more than a snake. A soul-sucking, venomous snake.

The night she found out, she made sure Arthur was alright, or at least alive, knowing how he could spiral at any given moment. That was one thing about growing up around a dysfunctional family. Knowing when the others needed help, and knowing when to help set others straight. And he had seemed okay, at least until a few days later.

That same week Arthur killed the man she’d cheated on him with, going down a dark spiral as he grappled with his sins. His eyes brimming with tears and hands stained red as he walked into the house unannounced, nearly giving Polly a heart attack.

Y/N remembering how she sat him down and wiped the tears from his eyes and blood from his busted knuckles as he stared at her.

“These are the hands of a devil, Y/N...how can I be saved like this?” He asked through tears.

“Don’t ask how god can save you. Ask how you can save yourself.” She said, wrapping his hands in gauze.

“What?” He asked, confused. The tears streamed down his face as she urged him to drink a glass of water, given he was already in a drunken state.

“You have to save yourself, Arthur. I can’t do it for you. Linda cheated on you yeah? Well it’s not the first time she’s hurt you. No one else can really see it...not even you...but I can...She’s made you into someone you’re not. You may need to slow it on the drinking and drugs, and get your anger in check, but you don’t have to completely ruin yourself over some words in a book or some girl alright? I want my brother back...” She said giving him a strong hug. She wasn’t known for talking much, always preferring to stay in the background and being quiet, but she threw insults and plans around in her head just like Thomas. But when she did say something, people listened.

The day after Arthur attacked Linda’s lover, she decided to meet with her at her house. The rain pouring down as she made her way up the winding dirt roads, her thoughts running through her mind as she reluctantly stepped inside the farmhouse.

“Oh, Y/N. Wasn’t expecting you.” She said, a disgusted look on her face.

“We agreed last night to meet but I guess you didn’t remember. Must’ve been a bit preoccupied I see.” Y/N said, leaning to the side as she saw yet another man walking around the house that wasn’t Arthur. There was a long, awkward silence before she continued.

“I’m just here to warn you that you’ll get what’s coming to you. You don’t fuck with the Shelby family.” She said spitting at her feet.

“You know Y/N? You’re just like the rest of them. No morals...no class...nothing.” She said.

Y/N smirked as she inched closer to her, standing almost eye to eye. With a quick draw of her arm, she landed a harsh slap to her face. Her handprint stinging and bright red as it adorned Linda’s cheek.

“You’re one to talk about morals and class. People like you make me sick.” Y/N spat, walking off as Linda stood there holding her cheek. Her mystery lover nowhere to be seen as he’d retreated back to the bedroom in hiding, most surely thinking Arthur was there.

As she set the final glass down, she was brought out of her horrendous memories by the voice of her brother John.

“Aye Y/N, how’s your training been going with Finn and the guys? Think you could take him out yet?” He said, a mischievous smirk on his face. Linda scowled as she glanced over at Y/N, probably remembering how her face stung after the blow. The event seeming years away due to the hectic business of the blinders and the growing number of kids in the family.

“I highly doubt she could. Even if she grew up with you lot as brothers. Besides, it’s not ladylike. You can’t fight around the children.” Linda said, sipping her tea.

Y/N’s eyes pierced hers as she sat there. Her appetite fading as she got up from the table.

“Y/N...now’s not the time for this. Sit down.” Polly said, pointing at the empty chair between her and Thomas.

“I have no desire to sit with someone I can’t trust. You’ll get what’s coming to you Linda. I swear it on our mums grave.” She said getting up from the table again, this time making it to the kitchen before hearing quick footsteps.

“You said that last time and nothing happened. What are you going to do? All this family does is make empty promises. You’re just a worthless girl with nothing but her families bad manners and filthy blood money...” Linda continued, Y/N zoning out as she unclasped her earrings and threw them on the counter. Her eyes scanning Linda’s movements as she stepped closer, cracking her knuckles. John got up as soon as he heard her bad-mouthing his sister. Finn stood and made his way near her only for John to hold him back with a smirk, knowing this was long over-due.

She didn’t say anything as she swung a left hook, a loud crack sounding through the room as Linda stumbled back. John cheering slightly as she regained her composure.

“I told ya you’d get what’s coming to you.” She said, as Linda lunged forward and went to slap her in the face, but failing as Y/N blocked her hand and twisted causing a scream to erupt from her lying mouth. Blood was dripping from her nose as Arthur and Thomas came in. To her surprise, they didn’t jump in nor did Arthur try to stop her, knowing all too well his once precious Linda was bound to pay somehow. Polly and Ada shielded the children, holding their hands over their eyes as the mini brawl panned out.

“You’re going to hell!” Linda yelled, punching Y/N in the shoulder as she cried.

“I’ve been there already love, it’s quite nice.” She said moving back and raising her arms up to guard her face, looking for an open spot, eventually landing a final blow to Linda’s ribs that left her on the ground gasping for air.

Thomas suddenly grabbed Y/N’s arm and yanked her back. She wasn’t kicking and screaming, but he could see the rage in her eyes. The way his and Arthur’s often looked.

“Enough. Alright? She got the message. Enough.” He said.

“No. No I don’t think she did. Get off me.” She spat, trying to wrestle her way out of her brothers grasp.

Thomas let go so he wouldn’t hurt her, but watched on as she stalked towards Linda and Arthur.

“You can see how you’ve torn this family up right? I can’t speak for everyone, even for the man you’ve hurt, but I can speak for me and I’ll never accept you into this family again. Never. Now get out of my fucking house.” She said lowly, grabbing Linda’s arm harshly as Arthur tried to stop her.

“Y/N I’ll take her, you go cool down.” Arthur said, his hands shaking a bit as he was still torn between the hurt from Linda’s past actions and the love he had for her. 

Y/N stood up with her arms crossed, her knuckles bloodied and aching as she stared her brother down.

“Arthur...do you remember what I told you that night? You have to save yourself. She’s going to keep you trapped in those same situations again if you don’t do something. She’ll hurt you if you don’t watch out.” She said, wiping a tear from her cheek as she shoved past her brothers and Polly, the children crying as an awkward silence fell over the house. She sulked back up to her room, cleaning her knuckles and bandaging them the best she could, knowing everyone probably hated her now.

“What was that aye?” Thomas asked.

“Fucking hell Tommy.” She said, jumping slightly at his voice from the doorway.

“I was just doing what no one else wanted to fucking do. Someone had to make her and our idiot brother see reason.” She said, wincing as she tried to wrap the gauze around her knuckles.

Thomas silently came over and helped her, trying to think of something to say as he snipped the last of the white fabric.

“You all hate me I already know. I just couldn’t sit there as she acted like everything was fine. Like she didn’t hurt him multiple times. She’s nothing but trouble and no one fucking understands that.” She said, tears welling up in her eyes.

“He can protect himself...I’m sure he’ll come around. And we don’t hate you. Besides, if I was betting on you that would’ve been the best fight of the year. I know for a fact you can take down Finn.” He said, trying to lighten her mood.

“I already did, he just doesn’t talk about it.” She said giggling and wiping the tears away as she gave him a hug. He sighed as he wrapped his arms protectively around her.

“She also had it coming. She said I had no morals...and no class....I just couldn’t let her talk that way about me...and about our family.” She said.

“Aye she did have it coming, I’ll agree on that. But you can’t listen to her. There will always be people who’ll say those things. They just don’t understand us.” He said.

“Well, they should work on that then aye? I guess next time I’ll try not to beat anyone up. I’m not promising anything though.” She said, Thomas chuckling as she broke from the hug and went into her room.

“I’ll see what’s going on down there. You just rest. But uh,,,do me a favor aye?” He asked.

“Yeah?”

“If someone does say something, don’t go at them alone. Tell me alright?” He asked.

“Okay...” she said with a sigh, hoping the night could be over with.

“Good, I’ll see you at the family meeting tomorrow then. Bright and early.” He said with a smirk.

“Oh fuck off Tommy...Goodnight.” She said, play-punching his shoulder.

“Goodnight.” He said, putting his cap on and making his way out the door to whatever family chaos awaited him.

[sxlver-sweet]

my head is whirling w thoughts of juni'chirō w a gf who's a lip product junkie. this girl's purse is literally bulging with products, it's shocking that it hasn't broke yet. and who does she love putting her freshly-pampered lips all over? her boyfriend, of course! the newest brand of matte lipstick? incredibly sticky lipgloss that would've been better off staying in the 2000s? pricey lip masks that cost more than her hourly wage? all over his face and neck. sometimes, however, the shade of whatever color it was would get all over his dick, as she peppers it with kisses before she'd go and wrap her lips on the tip, and sink all the way down his shaft, enjoying the strangled moan above her as she strokes his inner thigh, the small tug of her hair from his hand intangled into it sending pleasure all the way down her pussy, leaving her even more soaked.

we literally share the same mind i’m TELLING YOU.

i can definitely see him scrambling after you to pick up all of the tubes of lipgloss and chapstick you accidentally leave behind, as well as fumbling your purse to prevent any of the contents from spilling whenever you hastily shove it into his arms so you can scurry off and check something out. but, he never gets tired of watching you preen in the mirror, puckering lips glistening with smatterings of scarlet, vermillion, bubblegum, and sometimes even more pigmented shades of black and purple. the one thing you frequently joke about is how he could literally never cheat on you with another girl and keep you a secret, considering how you leave your belongings every-fucking-where—not that he’d actually consider it, though.

it’s so cute, watching him wilt and fold into himself when you press sticky kisses to his face and pepper them over his neck. still, he puts up with the constant lipstick prints that are nigh-impossible to wipe away and the frequent teasing of his colleagues when he shuffles back into the ADA’s office because he loves you. the sight of your lipgloss smudged across your cheek by your own saliva and smeared over his shaft as you peer up at him through your lashes is just a bonus <3

[svucarisiaddict]

I have never requested before so I don’t know if I’m asking correctly. Could you do the “stop it” prompt with sonny and maybe his gf? I forget now what the full prompt was.

You giggled as you tripped over the discarded shoe in the hall. Bracing your hand on the wall, you regained your balance making your way to the living room. One glass of wine turned into two and before you knew it the bottle you bought to celebrate Sonny’s first day as ADA was gone. 

The jiggling of keys in the door signaled your husband’s arrival home. He probably would be starving and the dinner you promised him was still uncooked ingredients in the refrigerator. 

“Welcome home, honey,” you slurred, throwing your arms around his neck. 

Sonny caught you as you fell into his arms, holding you up. “Doll, are you drunk?” Sonny asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Maybe a little bit tipsy,” you answered holding your thumb and forefinger a small distance apart. When you looked up at him, the disappointment was clear.

“Of all nights this is when you decide to tie one on?” He guided you to the couch, plopping your down then walking back to the closet to put away his coat. “I had a horrible day and all I wanted to do was come home to my wife, have a glass of wine, and talk about my shitty day.”

“I’m sorry. I-my dad-” you started but stopped as Sonny left the room. Pushing up from the sofa, you followed him to the direction of the bedroom. “Sonny,” you said meekly placing your hands on his chest.

“Stop it, Y/N. Just stop. I don’t want any excuses.” He stepped back from your touch. “You knew how important this day was. The case is a disaster. Then I got into an argument with Rollins,” Sonny said running his fingers through his hair. 

You crossed your arms over your chest as your eyes welled up with tears. “My dad died.”

Sonny’s expression and demeanor changed immediately. “What?” 

“My dad died this afternoon,” you confirmed. “Heart attack they think. And I was just going to have one glass of wine then I started thinking about the last time I talked to him and-and…”

He pulled you to his chest, on hand cupping your head the other around your waist. “I’m sorry.” Sonny kissed the crown of your head as he soothed your hair.

You clutched to Sonny, allowing tears to run down your face to his now ruined dress shirt. He held you for what seemed like forever before pulling back and looking down at you. “What can I do?” he asked pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbing your eyes.

You shrugged your shoulders. “He didn’t have any arrangements or money. I don’t even know what he would have wanted.” 

The relationship with your Dad was complicated, to say the least. You loved your Dad just not the way you thought you should. Your step-dad felt like more of a father than your own and didn’t come into your life until you were in your 20’s.

There wasn’t anything you wouldn’t do for your Dad; taking him to doctor appointments, chemo, and radiation for lung cancer, setting up meds, and doing his grocery shopping. 

Your Dad hadn’t been loving when you were a child. He was distant. You rarely got a hug, words of encouragement, or any affirmation that he even cared about you. 

At one point in your adult life, you discussed it with your Mom. She told you about your Dad’s childhood. No one wanted him. He was bounced around from relative to relative. He never loved, so it was hard for him to give it. 

Sonny knew the complexity of your relationship. He had a similar one with his father. 

“Whatever it is, I’m here. And I’m gonna get you through it,” he stated.

You nodded your head. “Okay.” 

“Tell you what. Let’s draw a bath and sit in it so long we get all pruney. Then we’ll order the biggest, cheesiest pizza and eat it in bed. And tomorrow we’ll deal with real life,” Sonny suggested. 

Raising on tiptoe you kissed his soft lips. “How’d I get so lucky?”

Sonny grinned. “You hit the jackpot with Sonny Carisi, dollface.”

All you could do was laugh. Sonny could take all your troubles away. Even on your crappiest days. And even if it was just for a little while.

[mistersshelby]

Hello! I thought i’d request something! the reader is a sketch artist (and tommy’s secret gf). she takes an affinity of sketching the peaky blinders doing different things, without tommy knowing. She delivers these sketches once a month to the pub without anyone seeing her. These sketches worry Thomas, and he thinks they are a threat from another gang. he sets out a hunt for the artist. Arthur finds the reader and tortures her without tommys permission and when tommy finds out he feels so bad

thank you for your request!! I’m sorry it took so long, but I really enjoyed writing this one so I hope you like it!!

You always sketched Tommy, usually from mental images you’d conjure up in the middle of the night when you missed him. Then, when Tommy started talking about missions he and his men would do, you’d imagine them in your head and then draw them out.

Too embarrassed about them, you never showed Tommy. But as time went on and the sketches piled up, you thought they might be a sweet little secret gift to start dropping off at the shop, sort of like a secret admirer. So once a month, before the Garrison opened, you’d slip the sketches under the door and be on your way. 

But a couple months passed and Tommy never mentioned them. You still dropped them off.

***

“Why can’t we tell everyone about our relationship?” You asked one day in bed, Tommy running his fingers lightly over your shoulder.

He reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, “Why do you ask questions that you know the answer to?”

You pouted, “I asked you first.”

He smirks and his fingers follow the curve of your cheek down until he cups your chin, “Because the thought of you being used against me or you being hurt because of me makes me want to rip out my own heart.” You pretend not to notice the way his voice wavers with emotion, you know the nightmares he’s had about you being taken and tortured by someone who found out Tommy’s weakness. 

You move closer to him until your noses touch, “I love you.” You say softly.

He gently presses his lips to yours, “I love you.” He repeats into your mouth.

So you let it go. And months later, Tommy’s greatest fear comes to fruition.

***

There were papers on the floor again, the bartender had reported and handed them off to Tommy. He flipped through them like he had the last time. Sketch after sketch of their inner dealings and meetings at the Garrison. Someone was watching them and it was making him paranoid.

“Someone’s watching us.” He announced at the next family meeting and tossed the sketches across the table. “These have been dropped at the Garrison, slipped under the door before opening four times now.”

Ada picked one up, “Some of these are from family meetings in the shop though, how is that possible?”

“Dunno,” Tommy said as he lit a cigarette, “Feels like a threat to me, though.”

“It’s an odd threat.” Pol said, her eyebrows knitted together, “Whatever happened to good old fashioned hand-delivered bullets?”

“What d’you think this means, Tom?” Arthur put down a sketch, “Who d’you think it is?”

Tommy shook his head and sighed, exasperated, “Dunno, I’ve been thinking about it for weeks now. The drawings aren’t signed. No indication at all who it is. I’m telling you all to just… Be on the lookout. If you see anything… Let me know. I’ll be in London this weekend for meetings, you all know how to contact me if anything happens. Be careful.”

And just like that, the meeting ended and Tommy headed to London, leaving you behind.

***

It was Saturday night and Tommy was in London. You liked to be near the Shelby family while he was away, even though they didn’t know you, being around them made you feel like Tommy was closeby. So you took your sketch pad and headed to the Garrison.

Pol and Ada weren’t here tonight and that disappointed you a bit, they were your favorite to sketch. You liked that Tommy had a lot of women on his team, that he valued their opinions. It was hard to find that in men. Instead, you sketched Arthur, John, and Finn, sitting at a table, laughing and drinking pint after pint. You wished for what felt like the millionth time that you could meet them. You wanted to be fully immersed in Tommy, including his family. He insisted you weren’t missing much, that you wouldn’t want to meet them anyway, but it never stopped thoughts of what it would be like to have tea with Ada and Polly and go shopping on Sundays and complain about the boys and their business. 

Instead, you were stuck watching from afar. Intertwined but detached all at once. You noticed John and Arthur grew serious all of a sudden and then a few minutes later, they left the bar. You frowned, it must be some business thing, but it didn’t much matter because you didn’t have anyone to sketch anymore. It was getting late anyway, so you packed up your things and headed out of the bar.

You were only walking for a few seconds when someone pulled you into an empty alley, but you didn’t have time to scream as a hand came up to cover your mouth, “Now, we can make this easy and painless for you, or we can make it very, very hard.” You recognize Arthur’s voice immediately and confusion floods your brain, “Who are you working for and why the fuck do you keep watching us and leaving drawings at the pub, eh?”

You realized John was behind you, holding your arms, “I don’t have a weapon on me,” You said when Arthur removed his hand, “You can let me go.”

Arthur punched you in the stomach and the air knocked out of you, “That wasn’t what I asked.”

When you caught your breath again, tears stung the corners of your eyes, “The drawings are stupid, I-- I just like watching all of you. You’re the Shelbys, you’re like royalty in Birmingham, they’re just silly sketches--”

“Then why are their drawings of our private meetings? Our secret dealings?” John chimed in.

You closed your eyes and sighed, there was no way to explain this that they would believe, not even the truth. “You wouldn’t believe me. Please, I don’t have an affiliation with any gang, I work at the shop down the street, you can ask them—“

This time, Arthur punched you in the jaw, “You talk too much. C’mon John, let’s bring her to the shop.”

You went with them willingly, not wanting to cause a scene, but sniffling all the way. Of course they saw the drawings as a threat, how could you be so stupid? You hadn’t even told Tommy about them and you were sure now he had told the Shelbys to be on the lookout while he was away.

You whimpered a bit as John strapped you to a chair in a dark basement. You knew what this chair was for. Though Tommy had hoped and prayed this would never happen, he had prepared you for it nonetheless.

“If anyone ever takes you for information, I don’t care what it is, you give them everything.”

“What if the information could get you killed?”

“Love, I don’t care about that, I can figure out a way around it, but I’d never forgive myself if I lost you, you understand?”

You thought of this conversation as Arthur spread out a variety of tools, “I-I can tell you everything, but you have to promise me you’ll call Tommy and let me speak to him, it’ll prove everything.”

“What d’you know about Tommy?” John asked, clearly suspicious.

You swallowed, “I know of his nightmares, how when he can’t sleep the only thing he wants is some whiskey, I know he’s in London right now for a very important meeting about the whiskey you lot create, I—“

Arthur grabbed your hand, running a small knife under your smallest nail, “And how the fuck would you know about all this? Some shop girl from Birmingham?”

You swallowed, “Because he’s in love with me, and I with him.”

There was a moment of silence and then Arthur and John laughed aloud as Arthur jammed the knife under your nail and ripped it off, unsympathetic to your wails. When the pain dulled, you begged again, “Please, if I could just speak to him—“

“Who do you work for?

“I already told you,” You sobbed, “the shop down the street.”

Arthur took another nail. It went on like this for what felt like hours until you just flat out refused to speak to them, showed no reaction when Arthur’s knife came near you. Only then did they leave you alone, but not before spitting on you and calling you a “daft cunt.”

Only once you heard the door shut did you let yourself cry, praying Tommy came home soon. And then you sank into sleep.

***

“Found the drawer, Tommy.” Arthur said into the phone, “Think you should have a wack at her though, she won’t bloody tell us anythin’. Been torturin’ her for hours. Didn’t want to take her fingers, but I’m starting to think it’s the only way.”

Tommy loosed a breath, “Arthur, did I give you permission to kidnap and torture anyone?”

“Tommy, we found her drawing us at the Garrison on Saturday night. It’s her, we’re sure of it.”

“You’re sure? Would you bet your life on it? Why isn’t she talking, then?”

“I--I dunno.” There it was, the note of uncertainty in Arthur’s voice.

Tommy felt his anger rising, “You don’t torture anyone until I get back, you hear me? You don’t so much as look at anyone threateningly or I’ll kick your sorry arse, got it?”

“You sure Tommy? I can warm her up for you.”

“Arthur.” Tommy tried to rein in his anger, “Don’t. Touch. Her.”  And then he hung up the phone. Before leaving, he dialed you, but you didn’t pick up. Something was definitely wrong, but Tommy was still too afraid to acknowledge it.

***

When the door clanged shut, your head shot up from where it had sat against your chest and your heart raced as you waited to see who would come down the stairs. When you saw Tommy you began to sob with relief, “Thomas, Tommy, please, please untie me.”

There was unchecked rage on Tommy’s face as he stepped into the light in front of you, “Arthur, John, get upstairs now.” And he began untying you.

“Tommy, she-- She’s the one who’s been doing all the drawings--” John started.

“I want to talk to her alone.” Tommy said, deadly quiet, “Get out of my sight.”

“Tom--” Arthur tried again.

“Why does nobody fuckin’ listen to me, eh? I said get out!” Spittle flew from his mouth as he turned back to his brothers and they finally had the good sense to back away and head back up the stairs. Only when the door shut did he turn back to you.

“Y/N, I-- I’m so sorry, I don’t understand how this happened.” He finished the last tie and let you fall into his arms, pulling you to his chest as your sobs wracked your small body.

“Tommy.” Was all you managed to say and you pulled him closely, ignoring the pain that ran through your fingers from Arthur.

“What did he do to you?” You could hear in his voice he was close to breaking.

“My nails.” You started, “He punched me a lot, think I might have a broken rib. Tommy, I’m sorry, I told him the truth.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He said as he searched your skin, pulling his hands away when you flinched.

“I was too embarrassed to tell you about the sketches, that’s why I dropped them off like that, and I wanted your family to see them. Thought it would be a way for me to be connected to them, no matter how distant,” You started crying again then, “I didn’t think… I never stopped to think that you would see them as a threat.”

Tommy’s eyes were shiny as he looked down at you, how could he fix this? How could he fix what his own family had done to you? All because he insisted on keeping you a secret. “This is all my fault. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry I let this happen. I’m gonna tell them everything, alright? Promise. Let’s bring you upstairs, I’ll get you some tea.” 

You smiled at him, and God, it broke him to see that smile now. After all that he had put you through, you could still smile at him. He didn’t deserve you. He never had. But you nodded, and he gently carried you up the stairs and to the couch while Arthur and John watched silently.

“Leave her alone.” Tommy said, his voice gravelly, and he walked by them to put on tea water. You had already fallen asleep by the time it was finished, so he put a blanket over you and set the mug on the table next to you.

Tommy called a family meeting while you were asleep and explained to everyone what had happened. Whenever anyone raised their voice, he was quiet them, reminding them that you were in the next room sleeping. And once everyone left, he sat in the chair next to you and did nothing but watch your chest rise and fall for hours.

Hoping, praying, that he hadn’t put you through too much. That you wouldn’t be cursed with nightmares the way he had. That you wouldn’t decide it was too much and leave.

So while he watched you sleep, he prayed. He wasn’t a religious man, but Tommy prayed to whoever was up there that you would stay and he would make this all up to you. One day, you would be his wife, and he would make it all up to you.

He swore it.

[imagine-all-the-imagines]

“Imagine your girlfriend, Casey, finding out that you have been injured in a school shooting.”

Warnings: School shooting, blood, injuries, death, if I’ve missed anything please let me know and I will alter this. 

My dudes. This got long, I kinda went a bit overboard. Whoops. 

Based on this request: “Anonymous asked: Hey! I read you r doing Caseyxfem!reader could I also request one? Maybe where Casey’s gf is a teacher and there’s a school shooting happening where she unintentionally got involved in and maybe svu is sent there bc it’s Casey’s gf and they try to keep the info from Casey but she finds out, arrives at the scene as well. Casey’s gf tries to negotiate with the shooter bc she’s learned a thing or two from svu and Casey but still ends up getting hurt ? & so on ofc. That’d be so awesome! :)”

________________________________________________________________

You had read the articles, you had heard the news stories, but nothing could have prepared you to go through this yourself. Looking around the room and seeing the shocked faces looking back at you, silently asking you what they should do, your heart broke. You knew this was a situation where you had to act fast so you rounded your desk and told the scared children exactly what to do, keeping your voice low and authoritative. 

“To the back of the classroom now, stay down, and stay quiet.” 

Turning towards the door, you saw a figure walking down the hall with a steady pace, not hurrying, but keeping their head on a swivel looking for people in their way. You locked the door and slid to the floor, praying that help would come soon. 

Your day had started like a normal day, waking up to your girlfriend reminding you to eat before you ran out of the apartment. 

You made it up the steps and to your classroom well before the first bell and spent that time helping the kids that came in to get assistance before classes started. 

You had been a teacher in this high school for about four years now and you loved it. Being an outlet for the kids, a confidant, a friend, that was your favorite part. 

Today was shaping up to be a normal day, you, of course had the normal shenanigans, kids not paying attention, looking at their phones thinking that you couldn’t see it. 

Second block is when you heard the first noise. A singular Pop! followed momentarily by four more. Your mind immediately thought it was a prank, firecrackers lit in a trash can, but then you heard a scream. 

________________________________________________________________

The calls came in to SVU minutes after the scream happened. One minute the squad room was quiet and still, the next every phone was ringing, every single one a crying teenager or a scared parent. 

“Captain, we have another one, shooter at the high school. They’re reporting at least ten to twenty shots now.” Finn called out. 

“Ok, we need to get down there. Now. Vests on. Perp will be armed, won’t go down without a fight.” Cragen said as he walked into the room already pulling her bulletproof vest on. 

“Hey, isn’t this the one that Y/N works at?” Elliot asked and the room went still again as everyone looked at Captain Cragen. 

After a moment, Cragen gaze got serious, “Not a word to Casey, we will tell her when we know more.”

And with those instructions, the SVU squad went down to the vehicles and made their way to the high school. 

________________________________________________________________

When you had heard the footsteps pass your door, you made your way to a window and carefully opened it. Ushering your kids to the window, you stepped back to the door and used your body to block it, hoping it would be enough for your kids to get out and get to a safe place across or down the street. 

When the last of your kids was out, you slowly got out and made your way to the window. 

All of a sudden, a few loud bangs sounded behind you and you scrambled to make your way behind your desk as the door swung open and footsteps walked in. You peeked your head above the desk to see who was in your room. You recognized them immediately.

“Jesse?” You asked as you ducked back behind the desk, “Jesse, what’s going on? Why are you doing this?”

You  couldn’t hear any movement, so you stuck you hands up and assured the student, “Jesse, I’m going to stand up now, I just want to talk to you ok?” 

As you stood up, you looked at the student in front of you, trying to stay strong and remember what you had heard from Casey and the r4est of the SVU squad when it came to these situations. 

“Jesse, this can end right now, you can stop this.” 

The student looked at you, gun lowered. You saw the vulnerability in their eyes, and then, just like that, the resolve hardened and they leveled the gun directly at you. 

________________________________________________________________

Liv and the squad got to the school and got prepared to go in as cops surrounding the building prepared to escort the students and help those who had been injured. 

Right before the team was about to go into the school, they heard a voice shout out.

“Olivia! Olivia!” the red head ADA shot a look at the cop holding her behind the blockade. “Let me through right now, I need to be in there.” 

Looking at Liv, Casey braced herself against the blockade, “Olivia, tell him to let me through, right now!” 

Liv ran over to the cop, “She’s with us, let her through.”

“Olivia, what happened. Is everyone ok?  Have you heard from Y/N?” Casey shot off questions, her normally composed facade shattered, the worry prominent in her eyes. 

“Casey, I need you to breathe-”

“Do not tell me to breathe! The woman I love is in there with an active shooter, you do not-” Casey broke into sobs as she faltered in her steps, tripping forward, “tell me.. to.. breathe!” 

Liv’s arms wrapped around Casey’s shoulders and she held her for a moment. “Casey, I’m going in with the team. Promise me you will stay out here until we get the all clear.” Liv looked at a cop by them, “Stay with her and do not let her come in.”

The cop nodded and Olivia joined the team and they went into the school ready to do what was necessary. 

________________________________________________________________

You had to keep them talking, that was the thought going through your head. You still had the gun trained on you, but you had gotten closer and gotten Jesse to talk. Apparently, they had been bullied, picked on, made to felt useless. They just wanted everyone to understand what it felt like, to feel like nothing. 

“Jesse, I understand. But I promise you, it gets better.” You said, nodding at them, you hoped the smile on your face was reassuring and not showing the fear that you were trying to keep under wraps. 

“No!” Jesse gestured the gun towards you. “Everyone says it will get better, but it hasn’t! Not in the last three years. It will never get better. It will always be like this.” 

You flinched when they moved the gun, “No, Jesse, it does. I was bullied all throughout middle and high school, and I’m here, I made it. You can too. I just need you to put the gun down and we can get you out of here.” 

Jesse stayed silent.

“Jesse please, you can do this.” You took another step towards Jesse, keeping your hands up and looking at them with soft eyes. 

All of a sudden, Jesse took a step toward you and grabbed your arm, pulling you close to them with the gun pressed against your side. “You’re right, we can get out of here.”

________________________________________________________________

As Olivia and the rest of the squad made their way through the school, they cleared the building room by room. They tried to keep a level head as they saw a few bodies on the floor, most of them were just injured, but there were a few that were already gone. 

Olivia was reporting a room clear and telling those outside the body count when a door ahead of them opened. All of their guns trained on the sound as a woman walked out with a teenager behind them. 

“Y/N, are you ok? Who is that behind you?” Elliot asked.

You nodded stiffly, “I’m fine guys, this is Jesse, and we would really like to just get out of here, ok?”

Olivia shook her head, “ I’m sorry Y/N, Jesse, we cant let you do that.”

Jesse moved the gun to your head, “I don’t think you understand, you will let me out of here, or Ms. Y/L/N is going to die. You’ve seen the others, you know I’ll do it!”

Olivia nodded and released the grip of her gun, placing it in her holster, nodding at the others, they all put there guns away as well. “Ok, you can go, but just so you know, if you walk out that door, there are about fifty or more cops out there, snipers too just waiting to get a clean shot at you. They will take you down before you even have time to register what had happened.”

“Jesse listen to them, If you go with them, you get to live. You can eventually get past this.” You pleaded with the student behind you. 

As you pleaded with Jesse, keeping their focus on you, Elliot made his way around to get a better line of sight on Jesse. 

When Elliot was situated he gave the slightest of nods. You hung your head forward for a moment, as if defeated, “Please Jesse...” and then you swung your head back, causing Jesse to release you from his grip. 

You turned to look at Jesse. In a startled reaction Jesse’s gun went off and you fell to the floor as Elliot tackled the student to the ground. Olivia took you in her arms and Elliot arrested the student getting them to their feet and walking them out. 

Olivia helped you stand, “Are you ok?” 

You nodded as you walked with her towards the doors and the sunlight outside, “Yeah, I think so, just a little light headed. Probably adrenaline.” 

Olivia kept her arms around you, comforting you. “By the way, Casey is here, she’s pretty worried about you.”

You let out a huff and felt the world start to spin as you tripped over your feet. “Liv?” 

As your body went limp, Oliva called out your name, when you didn’t respond Olivia called out, “I need a bus! Y/N, hey, are you ok?” 

Olivia pulled away your sweater and noticed a patch of blood on your lower abdomen and seeping down towards your hips. 

“Y/N! You have to stay awake, Casey is here, you have to stay awake for her, ok? God, I’m sorry, but this might hurt.” 

Olivia put her hands over your wound and pressed, trying to stop the blood flow. You didn’t cry out, didn’t even make a sound. 

As soon as the paramedics got there, they checked your vitals and placed you on a gurney rushing you to the ambulance. Olivia followed close behind and looked for Casey waiting where she had left her. 

“Casey, you need to go with her. Now.” Olivia said while pointing at you being loaded into the ambulance. 

Casey stared in horror. “Liv?”

Olivia shook her friend by the shoulders, “Listen to me, she is hurt, she needs you, get on that ambulance. Right. Now.” 

Casey shook out of her daze and ran to the ambulance, climbing in and holding on to your hands while tears round down her face. 

________________________________________________________________

The first thing you noticed was that there was a constant beeping next to you. The next was that there was a warmth covering your right hand, significantly warmer than your left, and heavier too. The final thing you noticed was that you were in a bed, but not a bed that you were used to.

Opening your eyes proved to be harder than you expected. When they finally cracked open, you saw a familiar red headed ADA holding onto your hand and sleeping with her head resting on your bed. 

Your voice cracked as you spoke, “Casey? Baby? You awake?”

Casey’s head immediately shot up and she looked at you, fresh tears in her eyes. 

“Y/N! Oh thank God, you’re awake! I was so worried.” Casey picked up your hand and gave it kisses. 

“How long was I out?” 

“Two days. What were you thinking? You could have been killed!” Casey looked at you with nothing but worry in her eyes. 

“Casey, I had to do something, it could have been so much worse. I helped people get out, I kept them occupied, talking. I did what Olivia talked about.” 

Casey let go of your hand, “But you are not a cop Y/N! You don’t have the training, you don’t have the protection! You could have died!” 

“But I didn’t!” You paused, “How many did?

Casey took a breath, “Four were dead at the scene, another five were injured. One of them died at the hospital.” 

You gasped and Casey grabbed your hand, “But they did say that if you hadn’t done what you did, the outcome would have been a lot worse. I just wish you hadn’t gotten hurt.” 

“I’m sorry Casey, I just did what I had to do to keep my kids safe.” 

“It’s ok, do you want me to call the team? Tell them you’re awake?” Casey asked. 

You shook your head, “No, not yet. For now I just want you.” You leaned up to kiss her and then groaned. “Nope, you have to come to me. I can’t get up that far.” 

Casey laughed and leaned down to kiss you. When she puled back, you managed to scoot yourself over enough to create space for Casey. “Come here, I’m injured and I need cuddles.” 

Casey rolled her eyes and took off her shoes before climbing into bed and pulling you into her, stroking your hair as you were lulled back to sleep in your girlfriends arms. 

[sleepypeaky]

sleepypeaky masterlist

key: 

🥰-fluff

😔-sad

🥵-angst

😬- drama/action

😏- spicy

all readers are gender neutral unless otherwise specified!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☾✧Ensamble✧☽

its all fucked- (series) fem gay reader: part 1, part 2 😬

null (not a reader insert; canon fixer)😔🥵

☾✧John & Esme ☽

biscuits  🥰

Daisies for you  🥰

NSFW alphabet 

competition (jesme x fem reader)😏😏😏

☾✧Finnsiah ✧☽

Butterflies 🥰

Together 🥰🥵

☾✧Michael & Bonnie✧☽

weeping willow

☾✧Finn ✧☽

teaching him how to write

Getaway- (series) gn reader: part 1, part 2 , part 3, part 4  🥵😬

the midnight debate  🥰

movie night...gone awry 

night parenting drabble 🥰

braiding his hair (fem reader)🥰

a rabbit named elephant 🥰

morning drabble 🥰

deathbed  

a little ways to go 🥰😬(fem reader)

“You should sleep in my bed more often” 🥰😏(ish)]

Father headcannon 🥰

foolish seduction “😏” 🥰

twin sister headcannon (TWIN SISTER AU)

holding his baby for the first time 🥰🥰

now i’ve found you (male reader) 🥰

cottagecore ideas

☾✧Michael✧☽

drabble of some sort 🥰

comforting michael (platonic!reader) 🥰😔

walk in  😏🥰

sleepy 🥰

the aftermath 😔

away (2 parts): part 1, part 2  (fem reader)🥰😔🥵

Michael teaches his gf to drive drabble

surprise 🥰(fem reader)

tiptoe 🥰(male reader)

amore (male reader)🥰 Amore e famiglia 

christmas surprise (fem reader)🥰

 ☾✧Polly✧☽

hardass 🥰(fem reader)

odjus 🥰😬🥵 (fem reader)

right away? 🥰(fem reader)

wlw relationship headcannons

clingy (modern au) (fem reader)

cottagecore headcannons

dance with me 🥰

☾✧Ada✧☽

relax 🥰

oblivious (modern au) (fem reader)

your kids set you up (fem reader)

☾✧Esme✧☽

springtime (fem reader) 🥰

☾✧Bonnie Gold ☽

owls 🥰

boxing drabble

dating headcannons

☾✧Isiah✧☽

being tommy’s son and dating isiah (male reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I write for these characters:

michael

finn

isiah

bonnie

polly

ada

esme

they can be reader inserts, platonic, romantic or pair up any of these characters (NOT THE RELATED ONES)!

[tommyspeakycap]

The Peaky family’s different reactions to walking on on baby sis kissing her gf?

tommy’s reaction is pretty much the same as it would have been with anyone in your room with their lips touching yours 

“oi!” he snaps, clapping his hands to seperate the two of you

his eyebrows are pulled together is discontent and you have a new and sudden fear in your heart that he’s going to disown you 

“what have i bloody told you about relationships?” 

you look at him funny

“yes, you know exactly what i’m talking about (y/n). repeat it to me.” 

he sounds so serious and you are confused 

but solemnly say 

“none of them until i’m 30 at least, twenty five if all of you have died first - including michael.” you recite 

“that’s right. are you 30?” 

you shake your head no

“very good. am i dead?”

“no tommy.” :/

“do i have three dead brothers and cousin that i don’t know about?” 

you shake your head again

“then that’s that settled.” he clicks his tongue, “no relationships of any kind, lovley to meet you.” he points at the girl on the bed

“he’s joking,” you force a breathy laugh, running your hand through your hair. “kind of.” 

arthur is different 

while tommy has a strict no dating unless it’s over my dead body policy

arthur is okay with girls

if anything he is happier with you dating girls

young men are vulgar creatures, he was one himself so he should know

arthur claps his hands, letting out a happy hoot that makes you pull away from

and you look up kinda scared

but he just gives you two big thumbs up

and then smiles at the girl

“welcome to the family, love.”

john doesn’t even stir

he’s seen his brother get a hand job off a russian princess right in front of him

standing stark naked

so really, his little sister snogging the girl he already knew she was dating

finn talks a lot when john gets him drunk for that specific reason

cause obvs he knew you were into girls and dating one

he just had to know who

now he does

and he just kind of walks in, sees it and nods to himself

says “get some, (y/n/n)!” and leaves again

leaving you all flushed

which your gal finds so cute

bc you are the cutest of the shelby’s by everyone’s accounts

finn just walks in, says hey and leaves

you don’t even part lips, he always knows all about this and has seen it multiple times

literally walks in, gets what he needs and leaves with only a gentle “hey finn,” from your girlfriend

because she adores your brother almost as much as you do for helping you two be a secret for so long

if it was ada

she would squeal

and definitely drag you both away for a gossip and some good food IMMEDIATELY

and grab polly, lizzie and esme on the way

polly would pretty much be the same

probably mutter something like “thank god this one won’t get bloody pregnant.”

overall the whole family is quite chill

except tommy

but not because you were kissing a girl

just cause you were kissing

and you are HIS BABY!!!!!!

no kissing for you

of any kind

not even kissing the back of your hand cause that means your practicing and that means you will be kissing soon

and he can’t cope with the thought of you growing up

just no

but he secrets adores this

you being who you are and proud

and your gf is so sweet

she protects you

like, you’re soft so she’s kind of badass

not that you’re not

you’re a fucking shelby, of course

but she protects you

and tommy really likes that, let’s him know that his baby sister is safe

which he has to know at all times

definitely she asks him for his permission in everything she does

and tommy is curious because he’s never had to threaten or warm her or make her come to him

and he wants to know why she does this without his asking

and so she says

“you didn’t need to ask, mister shelby. and i’m not doing it solely because you would want me to, i’m doing it because i love your sister and, more than anyone else, she loves you. you think people only notice you love her? everyone sees how much she adores you too, mister shelby.”

tommy gives a small smile and sticks out his hand

“call me tommy.”

[drabblesanddreams]

hey, idk if you’re currently accepting requests but imma try anyway. can u do a scenario with chuuya and his fem!s/o where mori had assigned her to a mission that requires her to stay at the ADA for a while. most prolly bc a new mutual enemy showed up in yokohama. chuuya is agitated and scared bc his gf and dazai had a long history together and they havent had a closure yet and its clear that dazai still loves her. so chuuya would have to ask for assurance from his gf. make it extra angsty! 😂

omg hi!! I loved writing this request so much so tysm for sending it in! Though im not sure its the kind of angst you were thinking of i hope you enjoy it regardless! Also super sorry for finishing it super late, hope yall enjoy!

My kofi link if you wish to support!

TW: just arguing tbh 

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: What happens when you are sent off to work beside a certain ex-mafia member who you share an unresolved history with but your currently with chuuya?

“Hat…check…gun…check…” you mutter to yourself as you recount each of the objects that you had packed for your latest mission. “So, what exactly am I missing, then?” you still feel like something was off however, like you forgot something important. You scrunch your eyebrows together in deep thought as you tried to pinpoint what exactly you were missing. You couldn’t afford to forget anything that might come of use, for this upcoming mission was of high importance.

A new group had recently arrived in Yokohama, threatening the dual existence of the ADA as well as the Port Mafia. This shared threat meant that both organizations had to work together, at least until the threat had been wiped out.

That was where you came in, you had a certain history with one of the members, a history that painted you in a good light which was exactly what the Port Mafia needed in order to establish a functioning alliance.

On the other hand, both you and Mori-san weren’t foolish enough to think that this history meant Dazai trusted you, per se. He was a complicated man with an even more complicated way of thinking who was smart enough to know that trusting someone was one of the most foolish things you could do.

But the fluttering feeling you felt in your stomach was a strong indication of just how nervous you were to be working alongside the handsome brunet once more. You knew how sly he could be with his words, how he could get deep under your skin and make you question things you were so sure about before. You wanted to bury your past in the deep end of your mind, to never resurface again and haunt you. Regardless, your fling with Dazai ended a long time ago and you were now with-

“Hey,” the sudden sound of another individuals voice breaks you out of your deep thought and you blink haphazardly. You straighten up from looking over your backpack to see Chuuya standing by the door, hand seemingly hesitantly placed on the frame, gripping it a little too tightly. He stares at you solemnly, a man just as caught in the spirals of his mind as you were.

“Hey,” your mouth curves into a smile, happy to see your boyfriend before you were due to head off, “What are you doing here?” Chuuya was required for a different part of this mission, and though you were confused to see him you wouldn’t say that you weren’t happy.

“Got you somethin’” You watch as he pulls a bouquet of red roses from behind his back. You smiled warmly at him before accepting the flowers and burying your face slightly in order to inhale their sweet scent.

“You didn’t have to,” you comment, though very much happy as you temporarily place the bouquet on your bed so that you can later place them in a vase. Every day without fail he presented you with a big, bouquet of red roses. The colour as rich and passionate as the foundations of your relationship with the ginger mafia member. It was sweet, really, and never failed to make your insides flutter with affection.

“But what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to already be gone?” you question, turning around as he pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly and burying his face in your neck.

“What?” he snorts before planting soft kisses onto your neck, “I can’t see my beautiful girlfriend before she leaves me for another man?” you roll your eyes at his comment, moving back to slap his chest lightly, “Haha, very funny Chuuya.”

He returns to your neck and you’re distracted momentarily as he continues his previous actions. Light sucking, sensual kissing, tender licking, pleasure fills you as you flutter your eyes shut and loll your head back, letting him have even more access to your neck.

“Say it to me then,” he murmurs, and you hum, still too lost with how good his mouth feels on your neck and how his hand was gripping your hip.

“Say what,” you whisper back, and he stops his mission of decorating the skin of your neck with his loving kisses.

“That you don’t still love him,”

You huff, “Love who?” wishing he would just go back to making you feel good.

“Dazai.”

This catches your attention and you open your eyes, moving your head back to look at him in his eyes. Even now up close, the blue of his eyes is breathtaking to you, though they are now set hard with something you can’t quite identify.

Anger? Frustration? You have no idea what it is but its setting you off slightly.

The two of you never mentioned his name, not when it included the context of your previous relationship with said man. Later in the day, you would wish that you did, after all, maybe it wouldn’t have led to the conversation that the two of you were having now.

“What?” you ask, forehead creasing in a state of confusion.

“C’mon (Y/n), I think we both know what’s going to happen when you leave,” he states icily and you blink, shaking your head as you move backwards, sneering ever so slightly, “And exactly what’s going to happen?”

He rolls his ocean blue eyes at you and you cross your arms as you wait for his answer, “I seriously have to spell it out of you? It’s not cute playing dumb anymore doll,” your eyes narrow at his words.

“What the hell’s your problem?” you asked, confused and a tad hurt by his passive behaviour. You had no idea why he was acting like this; you watch monetarily as he strides further into the room and turns away from you. You have the faintest clue though, “Is this seriously over him? How many times are you going to keep bringing this up?!” you ask in indignation

His nostrils flare as he spins back around to face you, “Yes,” he confirms and you throw your hands up in frustration, “We both know that you’re still in love with the suicidal basted.” You wince at his words, you never thought that he would throw the fact right in your face. But his next words shamelessly cause your heart to skip a beat.

“And we both know he’s still in love with you.”

“Jesus fucking Christ Chuuya, unresolved history doesn’t mean that I’m still fucking in love with him!” you exclaim in pure frustration throwing your hands around as you turn away from him and sit back down to your bags on the ground.

“It does though!” he claims, jaw clenching as his voice raises to a shout, “You can honestly tell me that you feel absolutely nothing?” he snarls following you so that he can meet your scowling face. You almost want to shy away from his blazing fury. Chuuya has always been a hot-headed fool, but to take it on you over some insecurity…

“Well, what the fuck do you want me to do Chuuya?!?” you yell, throwing a piece of clothing at him as you stand back up, “What, do you want me to just quit the mission? Maybe move to another city so I never have to see him?” your eyes spark with fury as you continue, “O-or no, you know what? Why don’t I just move to another fucking planet huh?!” you scream.

“I knew I it, I knew you still had feelings,” he shouts back, knocking back his hat slightly so that he can run his hands through the orange strands. You shake your head in disbelief, “But I’m with you because I love you!” you cry out and he stares at you from underneath a heated gaze.

“You seriously have no trust in me? After everything?” you ask, as you stared at him in confusion. You didn’t understand how he could react to you in that way, how he could question everything the both of you went through.

A moment of silence finally overtakes the both of you and you stare at him, breathing heavily as you try to catch your breath.

His gaze darkens, his voice dropping to a low tone, “Yes.”

You flinch at that, eyes welling up pitifully as if he physically assaulted you. You try blinking it away to no avail and instead glare at him hatefully, letting the tears well up as the hot white-anger fill you to the core. All you want is to claw at him, to see him bleed and wail as pitifully as you feel right now.

The only sign betraying the resolute anger you felt was the quiver in your bottom lip. Your breath hitches as you slightly nod in resolution, “Get out,” you whisper.

He stays put, however, and instead fixes you with a hard glare.

“Get out!” You shout furiously, reaching for the bouquet of flowers on the bed and hurling them in his direction, the tears finally spilling down your face, “And take your stupid flowers with you!”

And he did. Leaving you behind with a broken heart and a hollow feeling that you haven’t felt in a long time.