#AAAGGGGHH | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

brezchez · 4 years ago

Text

~~~

Feelings

Logicality, High School AU 💙🖤

~~~

TW: None

Pairing(s): Logicality, background Prinxiety

Word Count: 2,016

Logan stared at Patton as he worked away with his math homework. He was biting the tip of his pencil, staring down at his book focused and concentrated. A few strands of his soft, caramel curls fell down in front of his slipping glasses and as he pushed them back up, Logan refrained from brushing them out of the way himself. He felt his face getting warmer and warmer the longer he stared at the boy opposite him and his heart skipped a beat when Patton tilted his head. Perhaps Virgil and Roman were right; was he able to feel emotions after all?

Finally realizing how long he had been staring for, Logan quickly snapped himself out his trance, readjusted his tie and glasses and resumed with the task at hand.....only to be distracted once again a few moments later. Patton's hand was outstretched on the table, just within in reaching distance for Logan to place his on it. It was dusted with freckles, just like his face and Logan so desperately wanted to hold it, but no. They were both meant to be doing work, and that was what he should have been focusing on. So, he would focus on that for now.

***

"Thanks for the study session again today Logan! And thank you so much for helping me with that last question, I really couldn't get my head around it!" Patton laughed as he packed his bag, getting ready to leave.

"You're most welcome Patton. Although I do have to inquire how you would be able to 'wrap your head around something'. Your head is not flexible enough to be able to move-" he was cut off by a delicate touch to his lips.

"Remember, Lo; it's just a figure of speech," Patton giggled. He found it adorable how literally Logan took things and although most found it aggravating, he didn't mind and personally found it hilarious.

"Oh, yeah. Right," Logan replied, unconsciously blushing furiously. Patton quickly lowered his finger from the two soft lines they were once planted on. Logan expected him to move, but he didn't and he instead stayed rooted to the spot, as he stared curiously into the mocha brown eyes walled by a pair Warby Parker glasses. He felt Patton's cornflower blue eyes glide along his face where they eventually rested on his lips. His gaze flickered between Logan's eyes and his lips and he began to lean in ever...so...slightly...

"Y-You should get going now. It's getting dark." Patton's eyes widened and his eyes followed Logan's finger which pointed to the window. As he turned away for a small moment, Logan scrunched up his face, annoyed at himself for interrupting what could have been the highlight of his evening, of his life.

"Yeah. I guess I should," he said, an underlying tone of sadness was masked behind his bubbly response, "See ya tomorrow Lo-Lo!"

"S-see you."

***

"God, what was I thinking?" Logan thought out loud, getting Roman and Virgil's attention. They were sitting next to each other in front of Logan and turned around when they heard his exasperated complain. He told them what happened the night before and of course their reactions were exactly what he predicted them to be.

'You idiot!' 'Why would you stop it?!' 'Are you crazy?' 'But you were so close!' were only some of the responses.

"I dunno Lo? What were you thinking? You had a golden opportunity right there. You could have started off something amazing, but no. You just had to ruin it, didn't ya bud?"

"Now, now, now Virge. That's only gonna make him feel worse. Can't you see he's already upset with himself enough as he is?" Roman slung his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders and gestured to Logan. He was staring sadly at Patton, who was sitting a few desks away, doodling in his notebook. Virgil looked at his friend sympathetically and immediately regret what he had said.

"You're right. Sorry Logan."

Logan turned his head, nodded then smiled at Virgil, indicating that he accepted his apology before averting his gaze down to the desk.

"I want to be with him, I really do. But I just do not believe that I am able to provide him with everything he wants or needs. For starters, we're complete opposites. He's very emotional, and joyful and happy and jubilant, whereas I, on the other hand, feel nothing. Alexithymia is a figurative curse. And Patton deserves someone who is a better match to him. He deserves someone who can give him the world. That someone is clearly not me," he said, his voice stained with sorrow and sadness. Roman and Virgil looked at each other, their eyes full of pity for their closest friend. They all quickly glanced over to the boy Logan pined for, who didn't seem to notice them, and that's when Roman had had enough.

"Okay Logan. That's it," he said in a voice that was stern and loud, but quiet enough for only just the three of them to hear, "You say that you can't feel emotions, right?"

Logan was caught slightly off-guard by Roman's sudden outburst.

"W-well yes. I have told you this time and time aga-"

"Well, how do you feel when you're around Patton?"

"What?"

"How do you feel when you're around Patton?" Roman repeated. Logan stared at him for a moment, turned to Patton, and then back round to his friends.

"I....I don't know....I've never really...."

"Do you feel happy when you're around him?" Roman asked as he winked at Virgil, whose eyebrows were raised in confusion.

"Yes" Logan replied, slowly.

"Do you feel sad when you see him crying or down?"

"Yes"

"Do you feel scared when he is in danger or trouble?"

"Yes"

"Disgusted when other girls are hitting on him? Angry when people make him upset?"

"Well, y-yes I don't know what you're implying Roman."

Virgil, who had now caught onto what his boyfriend was doing, rolled his eyes and they both said in unison,

"You have feelings for him."

"What do you-" Logan's eyes widened in realisation. Virgil and Roman smiled at each other.

Roman cocked his eyebrow, "So? What you gonna do about it?"

***

Logan and Patton were studying with each other again but now Logan was unusually more nervous than he had ever been with Patton before. He twiddled his fingers and struggled not to stare at the boy opposite him.

"Hey Logan?" Patton asked, his eyes still directed at his paper, "Can you help me with this question please?"

Logan shuffled his chair over to Patton and took a look at the problem. It was a question about algebra - Patton's weakest point in math. Pointing to the paper with his pen, he explained the question and what techniques he could've used to solve it. He became so engrossed in his own conversation that he didn't notice Patton fixated on his face, paying no attention at all to what he was saying; he just listened to the velvety texture of his voice. As he finished the question, Logan raised his face, only to be met with Patton so ridiculously close to his. He felt his face heating up and leaned back quickly to stop any and all attempts he had to seize Patton's face and cover it with kisses.

"I-I'm sorry I should stop getting so up close to you. I really don't mean to. I can see that you're getting uncomfortable," Patton looked away and laughed awkwardly. Logan caught sight of this, and his heart ached at the thought that he made Patton uncomfortable, when it was in actual fact vice versa, but for good reason. He closed his books and picked up his bag.

"Thank you again for the study session Logan. I can see that I've been making you uneasy for the past few days when we do homework together. I really don't know what's come over me," he said in a quiet voice. Logan looked at him with sad eyes, fearing what he would say next.

"I........I understand if you...don't want to carry on with these anymore," Patton stood up from the table, "But I just want you to know that I loved doing this with you and that you are the best teacher I've ever had." He forced a smile then turned to walk away from the door.

Logan opened his mouth to say something, but no noise came out. He watched silently as Patton moved further away from him, seeing his last chance of happiness slipping through his fingers once again.

'So? What are you gonna do about it?'

The voice in his head yanked him forwards and he grabbed Patton's wrist, just as he was about to open the door. Patton reacted quickly to the contact, turning around, his eyes widened.

"I um..." Patton's eyebrows were raised in anticipation as Logan struggled to get his words out. He shook like a leaf and moved his grip from Patton's wrist to his hands, still staring at the ground in fear that if he looked into those blue marbles again, he'd get lost in its endless maze, and never find a way out.

It was now or never.

"Patton," Logan cleared his throat and his pulse started to quicken, "It has come to my attention, with the ever reluctant help of Roman and Virgil, that I um.....I have feelings...for.....you. Well, it was only implied by them. Frankly I don't know what these feelings are, and I never knew that I had any. Emotions are a.....complicated concept." He slowly lifted his gaze from off of the floor and raised his head. As soon as he met his gaze, their eyes were instantly locked and Logan softly gripped Patton's hand.

"But.....whenever we're apart I always have this unknown urge to be near you again. I constantly want to be by your side, and......even when we are together I don't feel like we are close enough."

Patton opened his mouth to say something but was quickly cut off by Logan; he hadn't finished and wanted to get everything out first before it all went down the figurative drain.

"And about what you said earlier: you could never make me uncomfortable and I apologize if I made you feel uneasy in any way. My responses to you, my stuttering, my nervousness, was all due to the fact that I, allegedly, had feelings for you. These moments with you, I cherish, because.....I love being with you. You make me feel.......emotions," Logan looked down and furrowed his eyebrows as he realized that what Roman and Virgil had said was in fact all true and he was.....

In love with Patton.

He looked back up and saw Patton, beaming at him. A few tears stained his cheeks, which made Logan worry.

"Patton? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Was it something I said?" He lifted his hand to his cheek to wipe away the tears. Patton held it as Logan stroked it softly.

"Yes. Yes it was something you said," he replied and Logan's expression became even more troubled. He widened his eyes as Patton rolled his, "But not in that way."

Patton swiftly placed one of his hands on Logan's cheek and the other on his tie and pulled them both simultaneously. Their lips connected and Logan's eyes widened in surprise, but soon closed as he sunk into the kiss, his hands finding their way to Patton's neck and waist. He felt him tug harder on his tie, pulling him deeper into the kiss, both his hands now around Patton's waist, and Patton's fingers tangled themselves in his chocolate locks. Patton eventually pulled away first and Logan couldn't help but feel a small sense of anger, sadness and lust as he reluctantly pulled away too. Patton released a relieved laugh, their foreheads touching and Logan smiled.

"Is this..." he began and Patton looked up at him, "Is this......love?" Logan stared innocently, like a puppy, into Patton's kind eyes.

Patton replied, "Yes, yes it is," and he eagerly pulled Logan back in for one more tender kiss.

#aaagggghh im making myself mushy at my own fanfic :3 #sanders sides #fanfic #logicality #prinxiety #fluff #high school au #one shot

79 notes · View notes