#A wild horse running across the field in abondon. What's wrong with wanting to see that?

[uncanny8ellen]

How I fell for the bastard,

Karl Heisenberg

I remember the exact moment I fell in love with our all time favorite, showy, ill-tempered metal engineer. I was watching YouTube videos, cuz that's what I do for pastime activity when I got no brain power for books. I watch game plays mostly. I was watching Markiplier video, and yes, him gushing over the infamous 'Lady dimidom' was cute. Mark u simp lol.

Anyway when he first showed up I wasn't that interested. His voice was good,kinda familiar, then I realized it's Neil Newborn. I realllllly liked Elijah Kamsky from dbh, so I was glad to know he voice acted in the game.

Back to our mechanic. His vibe? Cool. Smoking cigar, giant metal hammer slung over shoulder, kinda military look. Oh, nice sunglasses, dude. His speech too. "Well, well. Didn't think anyone was left! You must be preeetty tough, huh." My immediate thought was, 'oh he's got a showman's vibe!' All the metals levitating in the air, and I knew he was trouble for our guy Ethan. Duke only confirmed my suspicion later. After Ethan got dragged to the trial I laughed at "-and if a man's dick is cut off in the castle blah blah blah.", also at the "nothing like fresh American ground beef!"

Then after Ethan's murderous journey to get his ikea furniture equivalent of daughter, a TV crackles. And I was like, oh? Deja vu? But he was different from Lukas Baker. Much less chaotic, for one. He didn't seem that psychotic compared to that guy. More put together. I saw the whole, 'landing a hand' coming from miles away. Duke did say he's the most dangerous one, after all. And I had a feeling that he wasn't just referring to his mutant power.

With all the purring and threatening, it was more amusing if anything. Testing the person who murdered 3 Lords, Vârcolacs, Lycans in the village all on his own with guns, bombs and some herb juice, by sending him to the lycan infested stronghold. To me Ethan was just one hell of a guy. Sure we all suspected he's not human, but imagine a normal computer engineering guy going through all that. Damn. And Heisenberg was ballsy enough to test him. That or he really was the strongest. Either way, I liked his style. "See you, Ethan." Bless ya Neil Newborn.

And really, when Ethan got to the factory (I absolutely love industrial vibe. Didn't really know he was a metal-welding, real mechanic sort of guy until Ethan got to the factory. REAL ASS ENGINEER WHO OWNS A BIGASS FACTORY), I was a bit excited. Even from outside, the building was big. And just like him, the place was unpredictable. After all the hype, I wanted to see this guy's deal.

Then comes the 'proposal scene'. Yes the one where Karl confesses his undying love for Ethan and asks him to marry him.

Kiddin. That voice clip still cracks me up. All hail Neil Newborn.

When Ethan pulled the cloth away and BAM! conspiracy board showed up, I was smiling. Then the devil pops outta nowhere, walking n talking like a showboat he is, and although I was sure the guy had quite a temper, considering his earlier outburst at the church, his movements seemed.....weirdly calculated. When he slammed that chair down and told Ethan to take a seat, that move seemed calculated too.

That made me actually pause the video and think. Everything about him exuded pride. From the very moment he's introduced in the game, he was nothing but charisma and confidence. 'Most dangerous Lord'. A recluse. Huge factory.

And I wondered. Is that enough for him?

The main reason I didn't find him that great of a character was because at first, I felt the villians were a bit flat. Actually, I found all of the Lords a bit...boring up until Ethan escaped the gauntlet. Everything felt cliché, a heroic father looking for his daughter and defeating monsters. Just another fairy tale. Another bad vs good.

Then I saw how Lady Dimitrescu cried for her daughters. Daniela saying she doesn't want to die before she turns to ash, although she did try to murder Ethan. Shocking reveal of Donna lying in the place of Angie, eyes vacant, blood trickling down her face. And yes, I noticed the bloody hand prints she left at the door frame and wallpapers as she was running away from Ethan. That was heartbreaking. Letting her gardener see his loved one again. Claudia Beneviento...

I don't know much about Moreau, but I do know he got multiple cadous implanted. Maybe that's why his mutation was unstable. Cheese loving, cheesy romantic movies loving, cheesy guy that got effed in the head and is a kid looking for his mommy. That was just...sigh. He had to be put down. Damn Miranda.

Then there was this guy who was clearly smart and ambitious. I started to get excited. I resumed the video. "It's a test. To see if you're strong enough to be apart of Mirander's family." 'You're way off the mark, pal,' I thought. But that was a valid guess.

"Neither did I, but here we are!" Being forced into a 'family'. That was interesting. Of course this wild man could never tolerate the confines of his laughable 'family'.

"Kill me, move up the chain, well fuck that!" Yeah! Fuck that! Fuck the cult bullshit! I got reeeally excited. Here I also noticed his voice sounding a little weird. Slightly distorted.

Then the revving started up again. It dawned on me why my intuition was screaming at me about that chair slam. 'DANGER!!!' The guy seemed all brash and brutish but he had a plan. This guy was smart. Not booksmart or wisdom smart, but the way he acted. The chair was directly in front of that hole.

Take the outsider to Mother dearest. Brownie point + avoid suspicion. Waiting until Ethan takes out other Lords. Strong guy? Potential ally. Negotiation first, if fail, down you go. I personally like the headcannon where Heisenberg was the one who painted yellow all over the village. The ammo crates, levers, everything. Makes sense too, he did write those 'papa' signs with yellow paint.

"You and me, Ethan. Together we go save Rose, and we can USE her, to grind Mirander into paste." I immediately knew Ethan was gonna say fuck no to that. What father would agree to use her daughter like that?

But it was at that moment. That moment, my heart just stopped. Yes I died. In my mind, such pleasant realization just poured into my chest. Oh. Oh, he was a rebel. Up against the control freak of a cult leader.

Hey let's go kill my bitch of a surrogate mother. I'm sick of her cult bs, she insane. Imma gon blast her wanna join?

As soon as I realized he's not one of Miranda's pawns, but an unhinged individual planning to take her down, a person, not some toy soldier, I wanted nothing else other than shaking his damn hand. I wanted it so bad. So bad. Why capcom. I get that Ethan wouldn't take that deal. But goddammit.

I fell hard. Been simping ever since. Anything else after that were just cherries and fruit cocktails on top. His maniacal laughter, complaining on speakers while Ethan fights for his life, experiment logs, 'interesting body', HE HAS A CYBORG UNDEAD ARMY?!?!? Heart eyes motherfucker. Production line of soldiers. 'Heisenberg's quarter' but Karl it's a workshop. Where's bed Karl. Karl. Do you sleep on the fucking floor? You doze off sitting in chair?

Stepping down that floating metal stairs with ease. SKILL. Bullet deflected, again, deflected, oh what's this? That distortion from earlier. His voice changing. HIM MUTATING. "Don't, come, hmm Back!!" Just cutting off the platform so Ethan falls in water. Could've killed him right there. Do you like the guy Karl? That why you spared him? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Rain pours and it's so fitting. God. That metal colossus. I shouted, "Fuck didn't know I'm into that shit! Guess I'm a monster fucker then!" And I loved the fight. His theme song. Even his crystal was beautiful.

Miranda's boss fight was anticlimactic compared to his. It was just so intense. Ethan needed a freaking tank and just some luck (Karl turning himself into a fan/grinder and exposing his main reactor. Ethan managed to get back on tank in the air and fire the rpg one last time) to beat him. His boss fight is actually the most difficult out of all the bosses in the game, and if you try village of shadow difficulty, he's almost impossible to kill.

Capcom please, show us that man doing many bad but kinda cool things in DLC I love that man. Please. Let him kill the witch and be the true maniac he is! Come on! Free the rabid man! He belongs in the wild!!!