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springseasonie · 1 year

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Hate me more | LMH (M)

Enemies to lovers, Camp counselors Mark x Fem reader

Summary: You really dislike Mark and you're pretty sure he dislikes you too. Ever since he came to the camp last year, he's been nothing short of a headache to you. And now you're forced to work with him this summer, and his mission is clearly to piss you off.

Warnings: sexual content, heavy dubcon/cnc themes, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), kissing (shocker), Mark is annoying, so is the reader tbh, may be errors even though proof read

Word count: 7,7k

Song recs: kiss by NCT dojaejung (this is my way of promoting the unit go stream)

A/N: I was gonna write something for the release of golden hour but this took a bit longer than expected 😭 10 days later an I finally finished it lmao please give feedback if you want it's always appreciated

"Okay kiddos make sure you have all your things before we go back to the cabins okay?"

"Yes Ms. Y/N!"

You gave them a thumbs up as you leaned on a tree, waiting for all the kids to pack up. This was your life every summer for the past 4 years. Being a camp counselor was a lot of work the first time, but by the end of the summer, you had to come back. You loved your kids and they loved you. The staff was always so welcoming and nice. That was true until Mark started the third summer.

He was such an asshole. All the other female counselors gushed over him and his looks. He was constantly flirting with everyone, using his looks and charisma to get himself out of shit. It annoyed you, and Mark instantly took notice. He would side eye you all the time and talk about you as if you weren't friends with everyone else. He didn't really care though, he enjoyed being confronted by you every time he got "caught." Mark found your anger funny, never really taking you seriously.

And now you're paired to work with him this summer.

"Ms. Y/N, where is Mr. Mark? I need help getting something out a tree," one of the kids asked.

"That's a good question honey." You glanced around the area, looking over both shoulders to try and get a sign of him. And of course, he's nowhere to be found. "I don't see him around. We're just gonna have to wait for him okay?"

The little girl nods and runs back to her friends. Ten minutes go by and you start to get annoyed. This happened way more often than you would like to think. Mark disappears to do something or someone for way too long and you're left to take care of the kids by yourself. Sometimes, you almost think it's unbelievable how unreliable he is, sneaking away leaving you alone with 20 children in a forest. But then again, it's on brand for him.

5 more minutes went by and you start to get frustrated. You have no idea what he could be doing that's going to cause all of you to be late for dinner time. "Okay everyone please listen to me okay?" All the kids stop talking and turn to you. "I'm gonna go look for Mr. Mark, but I need all of you to sit in 5 rows of 4. Now." All the kids practically run to sit next to their friends and plop down on the floor.

"Good. None of you move or get up. If anything happens, scream at the top of your lungs okay? I'll be right back." All of the kids agreed as you turned to walk into the forest, going the way you last saw him.

"So fucking irresponsible," you muttered to yourself. "How the hell am I supposed to watch 20 kids by myself?"

You could still hear the kids, so you know you weren't too far away from the area or the trail. This wasn't new for you, always looking for him. It's only been a month since the both of you had to start working together, and he was already making shit hard for you. Mark liked to go hide somewhere. it was either to get away from you, the kids, or to get blown off by some staff member. You couldn't stand it.

"I mean seriously, can't he control himself for one fucking summer," you grumble. "Fucks everything that walks. What an ass."

"Well I wouldn't say that."

Your body jumped violently suddenly hearing his voice next to you. You whipped your head in his direction seeing him sitting, leaning in a tree. Mark had his ear buds in and from where you were standing, you could still hear the music playing.

"Where the hell were you," you asked angrily.

Mark stood up and dusted his pants off as he walked to you. You crossed your eyes, eyeing him up and down. He was so smug about everything. He always looked like something was amusing to him, like there was always a joke to tell.

"Here," he said.

"Clearly. And how the hell do you even have a working phone out here. There is literally no service."

Mark shrugged, wrapping the ear buds around his phone and putting it in his back pocket. "I downloaded stuff before I came."

"Whatever, let's go," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Where are the kids," he asked you, placing his hands in his pockets as he walked.

"In the same place I left them. I had to come get you like you were a lost child. Stop leaving me with all these kids."

Mark smiled in amusement as he walked behind you. You didn't really notice, but you tend to stomp when you are angry. And fortunately for Mark, it wasn't annoying. He actually found it cute, but he wouldn't tell you that.

"Can we take a break? My legs hurt," he whined teasingly.

"Mark, stop playing games. We have 20 kids in the forest waiting for us to come back and the sun will start setting soon," you replied, sighing heavily.

"Oh please we'll be okay."

And at this moment, you've just about had it with him. You turned around, lips pursed at his nonchalant response. Mark stopped in his tracks, looking up at you as you stood on the top of the small hill. "You have one more time to piss me off or I will report you. I'm not joking."

Mark's amused expression washed away as you turned around and kept walking. For the rest of the walk back, he said nothing. Soon enough, the both of you got back to the kids who were still sitting and chatting.

You sighed, groaning quietly. "I'm gonna do another headcount. You get that thing out of the tree."

"Why couldn't you just do it," he complained.

"Because- you know what, just get it out the tree."

You counted all of the kids, double and triple checking everyone and the area around you. Soon enough, Mark got the toy that was stuck in the tree out, and everyone was ready to leave. "Okay everyone you know the drill. Get your buddy and get in line. Mark, you'll watch the back."

"Didn't sound like a question," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't asking."

"I swear to you I will kill him if I'm ever alone with him again."

"He's really not that bad," Somi said, taking another bite of her pancake.

"Please, bad is an understatement," you say as you sit down. "He fucking left me with 20 kids, and then when we got back and I told him how dangerous that was, he says 'but you handled it, right?'"

Somi laughs, clearly amused at your story. You give her a confused look, not understanding why she wasn't siding with you. "Y/N, anything he says makes you angry."

"That's not the point!" Somi stops laughing when she sees how upset you are. "He left me and 20 kids in the forest near sunset to sit on his ass and listen to music. Then got an attitude with me because I was telling him what do when he wanted to act like a fucking child. I'm tired of it, Somi. I've been dealing with this for a month."

"Shit, I didn't think it was that serious," she said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.

"We literally could've had a bear encounter or something. I don't want to keep taking responsibility for his shit," you say, sighing heavily. "Anyways, I'm done complaining. Let's just eat."

You went to bed last night still completely angry at what happened in the forest. Mark didn't say anything to you walking back, but your conversation once you got back to the main camp was nothing short of unpleasant. It consisted of all your usual unpleasantries with him. Mark didn't really seem to care much though. You hated that you always let him get a rise out of you once you said you weren't going to do it anymore. And at this point, you had to get to the bottom of it.

You looked around the dining hall trying to find Mark. You knew he was there, he always came late after roughhousing with the kids in his cabin. Searching around some more, you spot him in line getting food. "I see him."

"Please don't harass the man," Somi begged you.

"Too late." You got up and walked to him. You really needed all this bad energy between the both of you to disappear. You weren't too sure about him, but it made every day difficult and you couldn't deal with it all summer. "Hey buddy," you said, tapping his shoulder.

"Didn't know we were friends."

The fake smile immediately turned into a frown. "Our conversation from last night isn't finished."

Mark groaned quietly as you followed his pace in the line. "Why do you keep bothering me if you don't like me?"

"I'm not bothering you, I'm trying to figure out what your deal is," you whisper yell. You followed Mark to his usual seat with the other male counselors, taking a seat right next to him. You were too focused on him to notice the confused stares you got from everyone else.

"Um, hey Y/N," Haechan greeted you awkwardly. "Is this…your new spot?"

"I came to talk to your friend if you don't mind."

"She's crazy," Mark blurted out, making the table laugh.

You smacked him on the arm, making him turn to you with the brightest smile you've seen all summer. And for some reason this was the first time you looked at him without feeling pure irritation. He was actually pretty…cute?

You couldn't look directly in the eyes, fearing that the anger you felt all morning would go away. Instead of speaking, you got up and went back to the table with Somi.

"So..what happened," she questioned.

"Nothing."

"You don't seem too upset by it," Somi observed.

"What..what are you talking about," you said, trying to deflect.

"You can't fool me, you're terrible at lying," she laughed. Somi took another bit of her pancake, but stopped laughing, giving you a look as if she found out something. "Do you like him?"

"Keep your voice down! And don't eat with your mouth full, you look like a damn kid."

"Y/N, do you like him?"

"Of course not! I can't stand the man," you deny.

Somi squints her eyes and side eyes you, but says nothing. You know she doesn't believe you, but it doesn't really matter because either way, you don't like him. "Okay..just know that today is your day to clean the kitchen."

"I know," you said with a sigh.

"And his also," she reminded you.

"Goodness kill me now."

You and Mark cleaned the dishes in the kitchen silently, not daring to say a word. There was an unspoken rule between the 2 of you at the moment, first person to speak surrenders to the other for the entire summer. You'll never surrender to him, no matter what it takes (that's what you want to believe anyway.) Mark had been stealing glances for about 30 minutes now, watching you clean meticulously and quietly. He always thought you were pretty, except for when you were being annoying that is. He always thought of himself as the bigger person, despite his childish nature, so he thought he should end this silent game sooner than expected.

"Did you get sleep," he asked.

"Why do you care?"

"I can't be concerned about my friend," he said. Mark chuckled softly when you sucked your teeth.

"Why do you insist on pissing me off," you say, turning to him. "Like I really don't understand why you don't like me. Since you came here last year, I've been nothing short of annoyed with you."

"It's never been my intention, but I just happen to strike those emotions in some women."

"What the fuck does that mean?" You put down the dirty dishes, crossing your arms as you looked at him with a brow raised.

"It means," he replied, turning to you, "that the more women are attracted to me, the less they like me."

You scoffed, getting back to cleaning the dishes. "You wish. You're out of your fucking mind."

"If I'm crazy, then what exactly was that earlier," he asked. You didn't know, but Mark definitely noticed how you backed off of him during breakfast. The way your expression changed, how quick you got up. It almost seemed like you were running from something, and he knew exactly what it was. "I know you like me."

"I don't like you. I just didn't want to talk to you in front of all your friends. They were laughing at me, so I left," you explained. Mark took two steps to you, his body ending up close to yours. You backed up a bit, not understanding why he was close to you, but he followed you again. "What are you doing?"

"Testing something out," he said simply.

"Look I don't know what you're testing but I'm busy. " Just as you moved away from him, he placed his arms beside you, trapping you under him. The both of you have never been this close before. Sure there were times where he had to catch you or hold you for activities in the forest, but there was nothing like this. This was close. This was personal.

"What are you doing," you asked, shock written all over your face.

"Standing here." Mark's lips curled into a smirk as his eyelids dropped once glancing at your lips. "You're pretty."

"Thank you but I really need to-"

"You know," he started,"you never told me what you wanted to talk about before you left the table."

You sighed, making a dramatic pained expression. "Mark, please. Can you back up?"

"No."

You looked up at him, surprised that his face was closer than before. One more move and your lips would've probably touched his. 'Why am I even thinking about that right now,' you thought to yourself.

"I know you wanna kiss me," he said almost in a whisper. Mark chuckled softly seeing the frazzled look on your face. You were so easy to read, always saying you didn't like him knowing damn well you wanted him. He just wanted to make you say it. He wanted to break your prideful attitude down and make you beg for him.

"You are saying insane things right now." You couldn't even look him in the eye, too afraid you would melt under his body. He was too close. You couldn't control your heart beat or your whirling mind. 'Maybe kissing him wouldn't be so bad,' you thought to yourself, but pushed the thought to the back of your head.

"But you didn't say I was wrong," he said, leaning into your neck.

"Mark, seriously." The slight whine in your voice made you want to run and hide from everyone. You felt like you were going to collapse into his hands the closer he got. His voice was so soft, but his presence was still so dominating. It was almost too much for you to bear.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now," he whispered in your ear, a smile on his face. "Would you push me away, take it and get mad, or maybe give me another one?"

You could barely look at him, let alone speak. You had no idea how to respond to him. You didn't even know if you were supposed to. But what you did know is that if he made one more move or said anything else, you would most likely lose your mind. "Mark, it's too early in the morning for this," you said practically begging him to stop.

Mark released his hand from the counter, placing it on your waist. His grip was firm as he pressed you against the counter more, body so close his leg was between yours. "You're not even trying to run at this point. You little liar."

"Mark..what if someone comes in here?"

"Let them. Why do you care? Are you scared," he teased. Mark kissed the spot behind your ear softly, making you gasp. Your body tensed up in his hand, causing him to rub small circles in your waist in an attempt to comfort you. He kept missing down your neck, moving back up to kiss your jawline.

You stood there, still as a tree. Your eyes fluttered shut, taking in the feeling of his lips on your skin. At this rate there was no point in fighting it. He had already won like he did with everyone else. You felt Mark's hand leave your waist, grabbing your chin as he ran his finger down your bottom lip.

"If you want me to stop I will."

You shook your head unconsciously, brows slightly frowning at his words. You were desperate and he definitely knew from the way you were frozen and speechless.

"Good girl." Mark kissed you softly, but deeply. His hand slowly made its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You dare to touch him, feeling like it was way too intimate. But before you could even pull away, he kissed you again, this time with even more sincerity. You didn't know why you had such a heavy feeling in your chest, but it did scare you a little bit.

"We have to finish all of this stuff in 15 minutes. You think we can make it," he asked on your lips.

"If you stop fast enough, maybe.."

Mark chuckled softly at your response, pulling away from you. He was clearly extremely turned on, but you were not the kind to help him with his problem, and he knew that. But that didn't stop his mind from drifting, thinking about how hot it would be if you dropped to your knees at this very moment.

"Wasn't that fun Y/N?"

"What are you talking about," you said, covering your face in embarrassment.

"Unwinding instead of having a stick up your ass," he jabbed.

You dropped your hands, scoffing at him. You shoved your way out of his arms, walking to the sink he was at previously. "Gosh, you're so annoying," you mumbled as you scrubbed the dirty plates.

"Yeah but you like it though."

"You wish."

"Proved my point."

You and Mark haven't spoken since the kitchen fiasco. You said a couple of words to each other when it came to the kids, but nothing more than that. You couldn't even look at him, the shame filling your body once he came into your vision. But one thing was for sure- you definitely didn't hate him as much. You were still very confused. You didn't understand where all those feelings came from for Mark in the kitchen. Maybe your subconscious? It didn't really matter, you just wanted to make sense of everything.

"Okay everyone, tonight is movie night so we need to leave a little early okay," you announced.

Mark leaned on a tree silently watching you as you interacted with the kids. You didn't know that he had conflicting feelings as well. All the teasing and messing around turning into sexual tension was not what he hoped for. He just wanted to mess with you. He wasn't actually going to kiss you for real, but when he saw the desperate scrunch of your eyebrows, how could he resist himself? If it weren't for the kids, he would definitely have his way with you right on the ground, but nothing in his life ever works right.

Mark admired the way you were with them, always so nice and careful. You were careful with anything really, never wanting to come off as irresponsible or rude. But he never cared about any of that. He didn't care if people thought he was a prick or an ass, which is why you were so intriguing to him. He never got a chance to actually introduce himself to you before you can dislike him as easily as you did.

After 20 minutes of walking back to the main site, the sun had finally set and all the kids and counselors went back to their respective cabins before going to the lake for movie night.

"So you're telling me," Somi started,"after all these months of not liking him, he came onto you in the kitchen and you didn't refuse?"

"I know, I know it's humiliating," you grumbled putting on your shirt.

"Enemies to lovers. My favorite trope."

You let out a loud embarrassed groan listen to her words. "We only kissed twice. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the day," you added.

"Not even for your group," she questioned.

"Well of course we did, but very little. He was..so distant," you said. You slipped into your jean shorts and put your shoes back on quickly. "I'm gonna go make sure all the girls are ready." You got up and walked outside to see everyone playing around. Just as you were about to round up your cabin, you see Mark who's talking to some of his kids. You wanted to stop staring at him, but you couldn't. You gulped as he glanced at you, giving you a small wave. "I hate him," you muttered to yourself almost as if you were trying to convince yourself it was true.

You shake your head, attempting to push what happened out of the forefront of your mind, but it's hard to do that when he's walking up to you. You turn away from his direction, hastily gathering the girls from your cabin. Just as you were about to make your way to the lake, you were tapped on the shoulder. Turning around agonizingly slowly, you face him with a fake smile.

"Hi," you said awkwardly.

"Hey, so listen-"

"I can't talk right now, we're about to head to the lake," you interrupted.

"I know but-"

"Can't talk."

Mark sighed, looking down at his shoes. He knew you were difficult, but not like this. "Can we talk after the movie?"

"Talk..about what? There's nothing to talk about," you say dismissively.

Mark rolled his eyes, walking away from you. You looked behind yourself, watching him walk back with his hands in his pockets. All that you could hope for was him forgetting whatever conversation he wanted to have with you.

Your cabin was the first to get to the lake while Mark's was the last like always. The movie started at 7, so thankfully for you, you could be left alone for 2 hours. You leaned against a tree as you watched the movie projected on the sheet quietly.

Unlike you, Mark was watching you silently, eyes never leaving your body as you stared at the screen. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him even after he kissed you, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He's never been in a situation like this before. Having to chase after you was starting to dampen his pride, but he liked it.

He watched as you whispered to Somi about something, not able to read your lips. Maybe he shouldn't have thought to follow you as you walked away from everyone, but getting to be alone with you came rare, so he had to take his chances.

"Hey, I'm gonna go back to the cabin. I forgot something," he whispered to Haechan.

"Okay, be quick though. I don't wanna be responsible for you," he replied.

Mark gave him a dry laugh and walked away, following you from behind. Mark picked up that you were going to your cabin after a few turns on the trail. The sun was starting to set, so he began to rationalize he weird actions to himself. "It's not weird that I'm following her," he muttered to himself quietly. "I'm just keeping her safe." It was surprising how you didn't notice anyone was following you. You were usually always attentive, but it seems that you were only that way with other people.

Soon enough, the both of you made it to your cabin. You went inside with a big sigh, letting the door slam behind you. Mark would be a kind person and knock on the doors but he wasn't all that kind, so scaring you is the option he went with. Mark quickly went up to the door, opening it quietly. Your back was turned as you rummaged through a bag for something, causing you to not hear his footsteps or the door creaking open.

"Boo!"

"Fuck," yelled, body jumping violently as you turned around. "Mark?"

"Surprise."

You scoffed rolling your eyes at his jazz hands motion. "You're not funny. Now get out, this is a girls cabin."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to talk." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as you went back to looking for whatever you were looking for.

"I really don't care, just leave," you said sternly.

Mark had enough of beating around the bush with you, the constant teasing, and asking dumb questions. He had to know why there was bad blood between you, especially after you let him kiss you that morning. "Why don't you like me?"

"You're kidding." You let out a dry laugh as you turned to face him. "I don't like you? I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"I'm just curious because since last year, you never gave me a chance, so I really want to know," he said, lifting his brows with a small smile.

"I want you to tell me why you don't like me first, then maybe I'll consider explaining myself to you."

Mark took small steps towards you, not being able to control the smirk on his face when you furrow your brows in confusion. "You're uptight and rude to me. And you never give me your attention unless it's to be rude with me, and I hate that that's the only way I get to talk to you. You only want to speak to me if it's to tell me how bad of a job I'm doing or how frustrating it is to be around me or work with me."

"That's not true, I-"

"I'm not done." You closed your mouth, intimidated by how commanding his voice was. "Then you go around and say to everyone how much you hate me. I know you complain to Somi and all the other counselors, and that's fine. But next time I would like to hear it from you directly."

"That I hate you?" You gave him a weird look, making him chuckle softly.

"Yes. Tell me that you hate me." He was walking closer to you slowly, arms now at his sides as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Your arms were still crossed as you stood there, not allowing yourself to show how intimidating he was to you. Your face was calm, but your heart was beating faster with every step he took.

"I'm not telling you I hate you. Can I talk now," you asked.

"Go for it."

"You're fucking annoying and not helpful. You came into this camp last year and made all these friends and everyone liked you instantly. Everyone says you're funny and such a great guy but I have yet to see it. All you've done since you've been here was piss me off."

"You wanna know why," he said. He leaned down to your ear, a smile tugging at his lips. "Because you're pretty when you're angry."

"That's not funny," you said, looking away from him.

"I wasn't joking." Mark moved away from you, eyes going straight to your lips.

"Seriously mark, I don't care that you like to get me riled up, but yesterday was uncalled for. Do you have any idea…will you stop staring at me like that?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark could barely concentrate on what you were saying. Your expression, the way you spoke, how close the 2 of you were. All he wanted was to just kiss you and shut you up for the night. Mark could barely keep his hands off you, every bit of self restraint coursing through his veins.

You sighed trying to back up from him, but all you did was bump the edge of your bed making you fall back. You plopped on the thin mattress placing your hand behind you to stay balanced on the bed. Mark's gaze turned dangerous, staring at you as if you were prey.

"God you're so hot," he mumbled.

"Mark," you said, his name coming out a bit breathlessly.

Before you could finish your sentence, he pinned your body to the bed. You were dead silent as you watched his eyes move rapidly along your face and body. "Mark..we can't. We have to be back soon."

"Stop fighting it. Just say you want me," he mumbled quietly. He leaned into your neck, breath tickling your skin as you closed your eyes.

You shook your head, brows furrowing as you tried to push the feeling to the back of your head. But the only thing you can think about is how his hands are leaving your wrists as he moves them down your body. Your breath hitched when his fingertips brushed against the slightly exposed skin of your stomach. You didn't stop him as he lifted your shirt, hands attaching to waist firmly.

The both of you stayed silent, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing and your old bed creaking at every movement he made. You watched him as he moved his hands lower, fingers resting on the button of your jean shorts. Mark looked at you for any signs of you wanting to stop, but all he saw was the desperation on your face.

You gulped watching him unbutton and unzip your shorts, lifting your hips as he tugged them off you. Mark took his shirt off, laying it next to your shorts. He hooked his fingers on your underwear, pulling them off you quickly. You let out a small yelp when he tugs you towards him, throwing your leg over his shoulder as he moves between your legs.

'Just get on with it,' was all you could think. You were way too eager to get him between your legs, and at this point, nothing was going to stop it. "Hurry up," you said, breaking the long silence.

Mark didn't say anything or look at you, all he did was smile as his face disappeared between your legs. A small gasp of please leaves your lips as he kitten licks your core. You close your eyes, letting your head fall back onto the mattress taking in every movement. He ran his hand up and down your leg, nails lightly scratching your skin making you shiver. Needing more friction, you begin to grind yourself on his tongue slowly, but he stops you with a hold on your hips.

"We're gonna do this nice and slow okay," he said.

"We can't, we have to get back soon."

"They'll be okay. There's more than enough people out there." Before you could say anything his mouth was back on your core, tongue pressing against your sensitive bud hard. Without thinking your hands made their way to his hair, fingers running through the blonde locks. Mark kept licking at you agonizingly slow, chuckling when you whined for more. He would speed up at moments, flicking his tongue against your clit faster just to tease you, then stop.

"Please," you begged breathlessly, "it feels like I'm being punished."

"I know," he mumbled.

You smacked him on the side of his head softly, making the male look up at you with a brow raised. "I fucking hate you."

Mark chuckled, removing one of his hands from your hip. He didn't take his eyes off of you as he slid two fingers into you, pumping them slowly. Mark watched as you basically fell apart in his hands, moans never stopped spilling from your lips. He began licking your clit, but faster, almost sending you over the edge.

"Shit, don't stop," you whined softly. You couldn't control your hips as you grinded against his fingers and tongue. Your jaw dropped when he fingered you faster. Gripping his hair, your hips moved on their own as you grinded faster. You were so close, your core pulsing on his fingers. "Fuck I'm gonna cum," you whined.

Your whines became louder, the pornographic sounds of your moaning, bed creaking, and sounds coming from Mark filling the empty cabin. This is one the many times you thanked God no one was around. Your eyes rolled back and body shuddered as your orgasm hit you like a truck making you mumble curses that not even Mark could make out. You let go of his hair, plopping back down on your mattress breathing heavily.

"I'm assuming that was the first time you came in a month?" Mark slid his fingers out of you slowly, wiping the digits on your sheets. He moved your leg off his shoulder, lifting himself from between your legs.

"Do you think I'm getting myself off after hiking and being around kids in this damn camp everyday," you asked, rolling your eyes at his statement.

"No. I think you're too uptight to do that," he said with a soft chuckle.

"It's crazy that you're still calling me uptight like I won't get up and leave."

Mark didn't respond to you, laughing softly to himself knowing you wouldn't move either way. He moved off the bed untying his sweats. You watched him as he let his clothes fall to the ground, eyeing his body. Not that you couldn't get it before, but now you see why he was a big deal to the other female counselors.

"Aren't we gonna use protection," you asked, gulping when he was back in front of you.

"I don't have any," he mumbled.

"You're so fucking ridiculous," you grumbled. "You're lucky I'm on birth control."

Mark could barely hear you with how eager he was to see you lose yourself for him. No amount of mean words or insults could turn him off in the moment, every word you spoke sounded like exactly what he needed to hear. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad." His lids dropped as he grabbed your ankles, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't tease, we don't have all night," you whined.

Mark couldn't take his eyes off you as he lined himself with you, slowly entering you with ease. You looked pretty under the light of the setting sun peering through the window. The light hit your eyes perfectly as they rolled back, soft moans leaving your lips at the same time. Mark thrusted into you slowly holding your waist firmly. He wanted to savor the moment, finally able to get you under him, because even though he had you now, he might not ever get you again. It was taking everything in him to not ram into you after every move not wanting it to end too quickly.

With the way he was looking at you you thought he was gonna eat you alive. And in all honesty you would let him. It was conflicting to you that all this pent up aggression towards him exploded into sex, but you were clearly not that conflicted. You would never tell him, but you had always been attracted to him and the kiss was just the tip of the iceberg.

He slid his hands up the back of your legs, pinning them to your chest as he thrusted into you faster. Your moans echoed in the empty cabin, not even thinking about if anyone could be near. "Feels so good," you moaned.

"Who's making you feel good?"

"Fuck..you are," you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you take in pleasure.

"Good girl," he cooed. Mark watched as you slipped your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same place as his thrust. His fingers were constantly kneading your legs, leaving prints in your skin. "You're close aren't you baby?"

You nodded fast, looking at him with desperate eyes. "Kiss me.. please."

Mark didn't have to think twice. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss quite literally sticking his tongue down your throat. You sucked on the wet muscle, moaning loudly on his tongue every time he thrusted into you.

"Mark..fuck," you moaned softly. Mark took a hand off your leg, wrapping an arm on the small of your back pulling you closer to him. You kissed him again, moans and whimpers poured into his mouth.

Mark moaned softly against your lips as you squeezed around him, cumming on his length. You pulled away, your lewd sounds becoming louder as he didn't stop fucking you. Mark leaned down, kissing your neck messily as you clung onto his shoulder. Mark has never had this kind of passionate feeling with a person before. It was starting to feel like more than just a sexual attraction to him, maybe he did actually have feelings for you.

"Cum in me," you said cupping his face.

Mark looked at you, brows furrowing in uncertainty. "A-are you sure? I-"

"Please baby just cum for me," you mumbled, completely taken over by the pleasure spreading in your body. "Can you do that for me?"

"Anything for you," Mark breathed out. Your words went straight to his length, his pace speeding up as he felt himself closer to cumming.

Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you felt another orgasm creeping up on you. "Y-you're gonna make me cum," you whimpered.

With just a few more thrust, both you and Mark came at the same time, loud moans and groans filling the space. Mark's body went limp, laying on top of you with his face buried on the side of your neck. No one said anything for a minute, just laid there in each other's embrace trying to catch your breaths.

"I guess you don't hate me after all," Mark joked, breaking the silence.

"Only a little less."

Mark snickered as pulled himself out of you slowly. "Let's get you something to clean up with." He got up and pulled his boxers and pants on. You were sure it was because you just had sex with him, but the way you looked at him was different now. Before you were completely annoyed by his presence, but now even the little faces he made were endearing. Of course, Mark would never stop being an infuriating person to talk to but maybe you like talking to him. Maybe you liked being around him this whole time.

"If you want to go for round 2 just say it." Mark walked back to you with tissues, handing them to you with a smile. He chuckled softly when you gave him a frown for his comment. "Back to hating me I guess."

"I don't hate you Mark," you admit. The words felt unnatural to you, but they were the truth. You don't hate him, and you don't think you ever did.

"I'd like it if you did though," he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. "If what we just did considered hate fucking, please hate me more."

You rolled your eyes, tossing the dirty tissues in the trash bin across the room. "Who said it was gonna happen again?" Mark watched you closely as you shimmied back into your underwear and shorts. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"Yeah." He stood up, pulling you to him, making you gasp softly. Mark kissed you deeply, smiling against your lips when you kissed him back. "We should get back. I think we've been gone too long," he mumbled.

You nodded, kissing him one more time before he pulled away from you agonizingly slow. "Please don't be weird when we get back. I don't want to have to hate you again," you joked.

"Didn't I just tell you I want you to hate me more?"

"What do you mean you fucked him last night," Somi whisper yelled.

"Yeah..I did..right on the bed you're sitting on."

"Ew ew ew." She shot up from your bed with a frown on her face, making you laugh loudly. "Seriously what is wrong with you, why didn't you say that before I sat down?"

"Thought your reaction would be funny, and it was," you'd aid giggling.

Somi looked at you with disgust on her face, dusting off her body. "Anyways…are you guys like..a thing now?"

"I don't know. I don't think so," you answered.

"Well do you wanna be a thing?"

"Well..I think I do," you admitted. "But I don't know him that well, you know. All I did was have sex with him. What if he doesn't want anything," you said.

"You want me to be honest?"

"Please do."

"I think you should go talk to him. Like right now," she suggested.

"Now? I don't even know if he's in his cabin," you stated.

"Just go. If he's not there, go back another time. You should talk to him while your feelings are still fresh," she suggested.

Somi was right. Even though you thought it was still a bit early to talk to him, you couldn't stop thinking about him all day and all night. Throughout the day, the both of you kept stealing glances, staring at each other but not saying a word. It's been hard trying to keep your bubbling feelings for him at bay, especially when you're working so close for the summer. But Somi was right, it wouldn't hurt to try.

You nodded, sighing softly. "You're right. I should go." You turned walking to the door, but when you opened it, Mark was standing there, hand up like he was about to knock.

"Oh," you said, surprised. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, looking everywhere but at you. "Can I, um, talk to you?"

"Uh, yeah. You wanna talk here or.."

"Just walk with me. Please?" You've never seen him so nervous or unsure before. It was kind of cute. You agreed, leaving the cabin and walking along the trail with Mark.

The first couple of minutes were silent. Neither one of you said anything. The only thing that could be heard were the sounds of your feet on the dirt trial and the laughter of children from afar. But it wasn't an awkward kind of silence. It felt comfortable, he felt comfortable and warm.

"I really like you Y/N," he started. "And I know it might be weird for you, but I just felt like you had to hear it."

His words went straight to your heart, making it beat faster with every syllable. You blinked fast, not really knowing how to respond. You were afraid of coming into him too strongly, saying something that would scare him away, but you had to say something.

"I..like you too," you confessed. Your face was beginning to heat up, palms becoming clammy from the nervousness. You haven't been like this since middle school, all shy and nervous.

"So..where should we go from here?" Mark raised a brow and looked at you. You glanced at him quick enough to not want to run away from the situation all together. He grabbed your hand, making you pause mid step. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it at this point, and you were sure he could too.

"I, uh, I don't know," you stuttered.

Mark chuckled, clasping his fingers with yours. "I've never seen you so nervous."

"I'm not nervous." You don't know who exactly you were trying to prove that too, but it definitely wasn't him because as soon as you spoke he laughed.

"I think we should start over this summer," he said. "I think we should meet each other for the first time again."

You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he started, turning to you. He stopped walking and tugged your hand to look at him. "I mean we should start again from a clean slate. I want to get to know you better on a good note, but only if you're willing."

You gulped looking down at your feet. You must've looked like a kid with the way mark was smiling down at you. "I..I would like that. I'd like that a lot actually." You looked at him, expression going from shy to worriedm. "I'm sorry for y'know being rude and everything."

Mark didn't say anything, allowing your words to linger for a moment before he leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was softer this time, more innocent. Mark pulled away with a small smile on his face. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything. I know I've been an ass, and I'm willing to make up for it."

It was hard to keep a smile off your face and stop yourself from blushing like a kid. "If we do this, will you stop talking to me once we're out of here," you asked.

"Y/N when I said I liked you I was serious. I don't want this to be a summer fling. I actually want to get to know you before I date you," he explained.

Your eyes went wide, completely flustered from his statement. "You want to date me?" Your heart fluttered repeating his words almost immediately, getting butterflies in your stomach. "But I've been so terrible to you and-"

"So? We like each other and we should explore that this summer."

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. You let go of his hand and placed it on the back of his neck, kissing him. This was the first time you kissed him. And it felt good. It felt good knowing that you didn't have to keep trying to convince yourself you didn't like him, or that you were never attracted to him. You pulled away, eyes never leaving the man in front of you. You didn't know if this conversation would make a difference for the rest of the day or the rest of the summers, but if Mark was true to a hate he said, you could wait.

But if not, then maybe you just might hate him for real.

#nct dream #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct x reader #nct oneshot #mark #nct mark #mark scenarios #mark x reader #mark fanfic #mark smut #nct scenarios #mark oneshot

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mentally-gone002 · 1 month

Text

is it too early to love you? - part 2

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: reader returns home after the case she worked for a week that had her leaving her boyfriend home after an argument. she returns and he’s made a big decision.

a/n: 😭😭😭 anyway have fun

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the case ended after a week and i was glad to get home. i hated leaving after any argument with james. i had done a lot of thinking when it was just me at night during the case. james didn’t call a single time and when i’d call he picked up on the last ring. the calls wouldn’t last more than five minutes.

when i parked beside the sidewalk at our apartment i noticed a u-haul outside of the with a few people moving boxes into it.

i stayed to watch a few people slide boxes into the back, wondering who was moving prior to taking the stairs up to our apartment and saw the door open with one of the u-haul workers carrying a box out of the door.

“hey,” i stopped him. “who’s stuff is that?” i asked, pointing to the box.

he shrugged. “it has a name on the side.”

i moved to read the name and category on the side.

james: bathroom

i sighed. “thanks.” the man nodded and walked down the stairs while i walked into the apartment. “james!” i called out.

he came walking out of the bedroom, sweat over his brow as he carried another box. “hey.” he said nonchalantly.

“what are you doing?” i asked.

the apartment was stripped of all things that belonged to him. i knew what he was doing but i needed to hear it from him.

“what does it look like?” he asked. “i’m leaving.”

“leaving?” i reiterated. he nodded. “why? what happened?”

“hey, i have a deadline to meet. let me get the last few boxes and then we can talk.” james said and left the apartment with a box.

i stood in the middle of the room, arms around myself as i felt heat at the backs of my eyes.

i wasn’t going to cry.

“okay.” james came back and i looked at him, wanting him to just tell me why he’s leaving. “i couldn’t do it anymore.”

“couldn’t do what anymore?” i asked.

“this.” he gestured between us. “and all that defending of your little boy toy, spencer. i see the way you look at each other. and your job! jesus, your job is fucked!” he went off. “i barely see you, we haven’t had sex in a month, and when i try to you’re always ‘too tired’.” he said, dropping his hands down to his sides in exasperation after using air quotes. i stood silently in disbelief. “and now you don’t have anything to say? real classic.” he scoffed. “it wasn’t just those two reasons. i just… you. i can’t do it anymore. it’s just you.”

my eyes welled with tears. i didn’t know that i, me as an entire person, would be a reason to breakup. my mouth opened but nothing came out.

“what?” james asked. “are you gonna ask me to stay?” he walked past me and grabbed a box off of the floor.

i shook my head and wiped my eyes. “just go.”

“i am.” james said. “this was the last box. and i ended my rent payment, so this place is all yours.” he told me and then just left, slamming the door closed behind himself.

i waited, to see if he’d come back and say something else that would make my feel numb. but he didn’t come back.

i dropped my bag on the floor and sniffed, tears falling down my cheeks. the space i’d shared with someone else for one and a half years was now filled with an empty feeling that made me sob.

i didn’t try to hide it anymore.

i cried and cried. all the way to the couch where i laid down and didn’t get up for a long time.

i must’ve fallen asleep because it was completely dark and quiet when i sat up. i looked around, eyes landing on my phone on the floor, lit up from a notification.

i stood up and sat on the floor in front of the device, seeing a number on the screen.

3 missed calls.

all from spencer.

my hands ran over my face prior to grabbing my phone to call him back.

“hey, are you alright?” spencer picked up after two rings. he was concerned and sounded like if i said anything that gave him the impression that something was wrong he’d show up at my door.

“yeah, spence. i’m fine.” i replied, laying on my back on the floor. “sorry, i fell asleep after i got home and just woke up.”

spencer hummed. “it’s okay. sorry i left so many messages.”

“it’s okay. i haven’t listened to them yet, i called you right away.” i fidgeted with my shirt. he hummed over the line. “i should go, it’s probably late, and i haven’t changed or showered yet.”

“okay, i’ll let you go.”

i bit my lip. “okay. bye.”

“bye.”

i hung up prior to getting back on my feet, walking blindly to my bedroom. i undressed in the dark, climbed into bed in the dark, laid awake in the dark, listening to spencer’s voicemails.

“hey… i noticed you were acting different during the last case. you just… i don’t know, you were distracted and you looked hurt. i just wanted to ask if you were okay.”

“it’s me… again… im worried about you. you’re usually really fast to reply but it’s been an hour, or close to it. did something happen between you and james? you didn’t mention him, and you usually do… twice everyday. i don’t know why i know that. anyway, sorry for calling again, i’m just worried.”

“please call me back. i’m about to drive over just to make sure nothing happened to you… i swear if he hurt you-“

the cut off of the last message made a strange ache in my chest appear. i tossed my phone away from me as if it was burning me.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid fanfiction #angst #breakup #criminal minds #is it too early to love you series

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judes-hoe · 1 month

Text

Timeless Desires~KM9

Parrings ~ Kylian Mbappé x reader

Summary ~ Your a pro ice skater in Madrid, when you heard the famous Kylian Mbappé was coming to Madrid you followed him, and he followed you too. So what happens when he finally lands in Madrid?

Warnings ~ mentions of weird DMs,

A/N ~ just a short series:) (also reader is and ice skater/ figure skater!!!)(and I’m not a figure skater and some stuff might be wrong sorry!!!)

Pt.2 pt.3 pt.4

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You were a pro ice skater, you competed in lots of competitions. You lived in Madrid, you couldn’t ask for a better life. In your free time you read books and watch football. Obviously a big Madrid fan, you always get season passes to the matches.

Well one day you were scrolling on your phone and saw that a certain frenchie was coming to Madrid. You’ve honestly been waiting for it to be confirmed for a while and now it is. So you decided to follow him only to see ‘follow back’ when you do. It made your mind wonder how you’ve never noticed.

About a month passed, you were at the ice rink you practiced at. Going through and practice your routine with your coach. When you were done and getting ready to leave you saw a notification on instagram. It was a DM, you ignored it thinking it was just some creepy dude asking for nudes again.

When you got back to your apartment and sat down, that’s when you saw who the DM was really from. Kylian Mbappé himself, you were in shock. You sat there on your couch for about 5 minutes before answering it.

~~~~

The rest of the day had gone by, it’s about 10pm and you just got out the shower. You check your phone and see a text from a random number. You ignore it and do you quick skin care routine. By the time you’re in bed in 10:20 and you go back to the text message.

~~~~

With that you put your phone away and laid down. You smile to yourself and think about what’s happened the past couple of hours. You then drift off to sleep thinking about what will happen when you competition comes.

The week went by in a blur, you and Kylian texted almost everyday. Just getting to know each other better. Well it’s Saturday the day of your competition. It wasn’t until like 9:30pm, Kylian said it worked great for him since they had an early training today.

You got there about 8:50 and started getting ready, you got into your outfit. It was a black one. It was one of your favorites to wear once in a while. You then get your skates on. “Okay time to stretch.” My coach, James said. You nod you head and walk out into the hallway while James instructs your stretch’s, and which stretches to do.

“You’re gonna kill it today.” James said trying to get you into that mindset. “Don’t I every time.” You joke with him while stretching your legs. “You’re not wrong, but still, you’re gonna do great, we’ve practiced all week.” He said.

After about 25 minutes of stretching you hear them call the first girl to go. Your song you picked was Wash. by Bon Iver. It was a perfect song to do your routine to.

About fifteen minutes passed and 4 more girls had gone and you were next. You stand and wait, they then call your name and James pats your back. You skate out onto the middle of the ice. You stand in the middle of the rink and take a deep breath waiting for the song to play.

When you hear of start you start your routine. Your routine was about 3 minutes long. As you skate and do your routine you block out all the noise from the crowd; you just pretend you’re at practice doing your routine.

As you hear your song end you stop to skate and hear the cheers of the crowd. You then make your way off the rink and over to James. “Amazing job! You did so good.” He said pulling you into a hug. “Couldn’t do it without you James, you help me a lot in my career.” You said hugging him back.

2 more girls went and there’s about a 10 minute break were you and the 7 girls wait and watch them set up the podium. They then announced that the top 3 winners will be announced. You always got nervous when it was time to see the top 3 winners. In third was Vanessa Willams, in second was Britney Edwards, then they get ready to announce who’s in first.

“In first place, with 12 gold medals, 2 championships, is the queen of figure skating y/n!” They announced. You smile and skate onto the ice accepting your medal and stepping onto the top step.

They get ready to take a picture and you invite the other two girls onto the top step for the picture.

You then make your way back to the locker room and change into your outfit you came in. Which was just sweatpants and a shirt. You pack your outfit and skates away and leave the locker room congratulating the other girls. As you leave and start to walk out the stadium you hear your name called a turn around.

“Congratulations.” Kylian said when you turn around, he holds out a bouquet of flowers for you. “Thank you.” You said accepting the flowers. “You did really great, I loved your umm.” He stumbled on his words. “Routine.” You finished for him. “Yes that, you did great on your routine.” He smiled softly.

“So would you want me to show you around…I know a good ice cream place around here?” You said. “Don’t think Ancelotti would like me having ice cream but one won’t hurt.” He said. “It’s okay I won’t tell.” You laugh.

You then made your way to his car as James drove you here, and you told james you had a ride home. You then give Kylian directions to the ice cream shop…

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Taglist: @kymb-10

A/N ~ comment to be added to taglist! Also thanks to Maha my babe for helping me with this can’t thank her enough🩷

#judes-hoe😚#kylian x you #kylian fluff #kylian smut #kylian mbappe blurb #kylian fanfic #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe fanfic #kylian imagines #kylian x reader #kylian mbappe

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darlingshane · 9 months

Text

Salt of the Earth ~ Part 2

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x OFC

Summary: She was Carmy's best friend growing up, and Michael never looked at her as anything other than that until years later when she comes back to Chicago to start over. In the process, she turns his sorry excuse of a life upside down.

Content/Warnings: 18+. Explicit, Friends to lovers, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Smut, HJ, Fingering, P in V, Family Drama, Dysfunctional relationships, Addiction, Alcohol, Hangover, Pets, Pet names, Dialogue heavy, Undisclosed age gap.

Word Count: 7.5k // Chapters 5-7 // AO3 Link.

— Part 1 (Chapters 1-4)

Chapter 5: Eat Humble Pie

One more mistake turns into a lesson learned for Maya.

She climbs into her car before breaking in front of him and drives back home after the party to dwell in her misery.

It was silly of her to make herself available for someone who doesn't take her seriously half of the time. She should have seen it earlier that he's just an asshole, but being blindsided by guys like him is one of her many flaws.

Against her better judgment, she put herself out there for the first time in a long time. He knew that was a huge step for her, and he just had the nerve to dismiss her feelings.

She's not the one to play games with. If Michael can admit that there's something between them, then she's not going to invest more time on this or push for something he doesn't want. Maybe she’s being a little arrogant, it wouldn't be the first time someone told her that, but this wasn’t a one-sided thing. He’s been definitely reeling her in just as much. She felt that every morning she went into the beef before work, every time they went out for drinks, every time he came over, every call, every text… He initiated a lot of those. Who does he think he is to make her feel like she's crazy? Like she made that up in her head? It could be possible, she tries to internalize. Perhaps she latched onto Michael so desperately because he was the only person that made her feel welcomed. It was strange for a long time being back in Chicago and being with him felt like being home.

Her mind jumps back and forth, trying to find a logical explanation. She doesn't find any, but she's sure he has his reasons.

Trying to forget all that and more, it’s not easy.

A week after his birthday, there’s still a part of her that keeps holding onto all those moments and memories they’ve made together. From painting her room, to the day she took care of him when he got his wisdom teeth removed. To all the many nicknames he gave her. And that time, he dog-sat for Coco when Maya went out of town for a couple of days. He’d just sent pics and videos of them playing, so she wouldn’t worry. It’s still fresh in her memory the day he invited her to his Sunday Braciole tradition. They weren’t as frequent as they used to be since Carmy left, but at least two Sundays a month they got together to cook and eat, and just have a good time with friends and family. For the past two months, she never missed one of those Sundays, but it was a hard pass this week. She got a text from Natalie asking if she was okay, that they missed her and Coco, but she was far from okay. Maya just replied with some bullshit about coming down with something.

Many times she’s found herself wanting to pick up the phone and call him as she used to. She willingly had to fight that need every day until it disappeared.

One evening, when she comes home after work, pulling up on the driveway, she spots Michael sitting on her front stoop, having a smoke under the light of the porch. It’s dark and cold and the last thing she wants to do right now is face him, but there’s no way around it.

“Hey,” She mutters, walking up to the door as he puts out his cigarette and stands up.

“Hey, can we talk?” His breath manifests in the air, as he exhales that last puff he took.

“Depends on what you have to say,” Maya crosses her arms against her chest.

“Just wanted to say I’m sorry for being an asshole the other night. I never got to say thank you for the party. That was really nice of you.”

“That's fine, Michael. I'm over it. I got the message,” she says dryly.

“This isn't as easy as you think it is.”

“I think it is. Either you want me or you don't. But you can't string someone along for months, and then make them feel like shit for wanting something more. It's fucked up.”

“Yeah, I agree it's fucked up. I'm… fucked up.”

“I'd say.”

“Hey, you're no picnic either, sweetheart.”

“You're right, I'm not. But at least I'm honest about it. I admit that I can be a little intense and inconsiderate, but I don't try to hide it. You on the other hand hide behind layers and layers of fake smiles and charms and bullshit stories, cause if people were to look closer, they'd see the real Michael. The one that I see.”

“You're also unbelievably obnoxious, did you know that? You don't know shit about me.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Have you even considered my part in all this, huh? You're Carmy's best friend. I knew you as a kid. How am I supposed to look him in the eye when he comes back in a few weeks and say – hey, by the way, I've been seeing Maya… Your Maya. What do you think he’s going to say? He's gonna hate the both of us.”

It's good to know he's considered all those things that didn't cross her mind. Yes, it'd hurt her to know that Carmy could potentially be affected by this. She wouldn't want that either, but no matter what, someone is getting hurt here.

“Well, I haven't thought about it that way, but I was never his to begin with. I’m my own person. I get to decide who I want. Not you, not him, not anyone. And even if something happened between you and me, it’s not like I’d rub it on his face.”

“Maya… You don't understand. You were everything to him.”

“Were. You’ve just said it. It's been a long time since high school, do you really believe that he's still hung up on me?”

“What if he is? What if you two were meant to be together?”

“Saying that out loud over and over won't make it come true. This isn't a fairy tale. And you should know that I haven't really talked to him, not one real conversation, since last year. Last time I heard from him was a text telling me he got the job at Noma. I said hey, congratulations, I'm proud of you… And he never spoke to me again. Told him I was moving back here, and crickets. And you know what? I still love him cause he's Carmy, but I'm not in love with him. I wish it was that easy. It'd be great if people could fall in love with the person they were supposed to be with. But it doesn't work that way, Michael.”

“Look, I know it's hard to understand, but I'm not the right guy for you. I'll never be. I thought we could be friends, but I can tell that's not enough for you, is it?”

“No, it isn't. If you feel that way, you should just go. It’s cold. I’m tired. And I should…” Defeated, she vaguely gestures at the front door before climbing the porch's steps.

“It hurts for me too, you know?” He mumbles as she unlocks the door.

“How’s that my problem?” She scoffs, incredulous at the gall he has of driving up there just to cause her more grief, and guilt-trip her. At least that is how it seems right now to her. “You’re the one that is too scared to feel anything real. I told you how I feel. I kissed you, for Christ’s sake! Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”

“Maybe if you had stayed away from me, this would have never happened.”

“Are fucking serious right now?” she glances over her shoulder, letting her blood instantly come to a boiling point. “You gonna put this on me? This is just as much of your fault as it is mine. You knew that I was having a hard time adjusting, that I missed my friends, that I couldn't even turn to my family, and you took advantage of that. Go fuck yourself, Michael! Take your damn pills and go get high like you do every night to forget you're a fucking loser!”

Maya doesn't give him a chance to respond. She slams the door shut, turns on the light, and closes her eyes for a second as Coco comes out of her room to welcome her. The dog whines, happily wagging her tail, circling around Maya's boots.

Leaning down to pet her dog, she places her bag down on the floor. Coco lowers her ears as Maya holds her head and scratches her head.

“I'm so sorry I yelled, baby. C’mere,” she hugs her neck tight, taking some extra comfort from her pup cuddles and kisses for a moment until they both hear a shy knock on the door.

Hoping he’d just leave, she closes her eyes again and ignores it.

It’s worthless.

He knocks twice again.

And again.

“Maya? Open the door… Please. I’m… I’m sorry. You’re right, I’m a fucking loser. Let me try again… Please, I didn’t mean…”

“What do you say, should we open?” She asks Coco as she tilts her head to the door.

“Maybird. Mayhem. Can you hear me? Maya Papaya?”

It’s crazy to even consider going for round two, but she’s like a moth to a flame, unable to escape the appeal of that alluring heat.

Drawing a fortifying breath, she stands up and hesitantly unlocks the door.

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that.”

“I'm a lost cause. Can I come in?”

“Are you going to behave?”

“I promise.”

She lets him set foot inside to be warmly welcomed by Coco hoisting her front paws up to his chest, wagging her tail, sticking her head out to lick his face.

“Hey, Coco girl. Have you missed me?” He pets her fondly.

“Coco, get down. He doesn't deserve kisses right now,” Maya sighs, gesturing at the dog, and she begrudgingly obeys, getting down and finding her bed in the corner of the living room. “Okay, say what you gotta say? You have one minute.”

“That's not a lot.”

“You're wasting time.”

“Straight up. Alright… I came here to apologize, and I blew it cause you're right I'm a loser. I uh… I thought that by pushing you away was doing you a favor, but I can see now that's not how it works.”

“No, it doesn't,” Maya says firmly.

“Truth is that I don't know what I’m doing… I thought that if I came here and gave you some closure, we could just move on. But I'm looking at you right now, and I don't think I'll be able to do that. It'll be pretty hard to forget about you after everything…”

“Stop trying to sabotage yourself. Live a little. Isn't that what you told me that day when you helped me unpack? Why don't you take that advice for yourself?”

“Because I'm a piece of shit and I don't deserve you.”

“That's not true.”

“It is. You said outside… For the longest time I've been pretending to be something I'm not, that I'm not sure who I am anymore. I thought you fell for that version of me that isn't real. But you didn't, you saw through all my bullshit, and you fell for me anyway… Why?”

“Why? Because I'm probably out of my mind.” She can't help but scoff a little. “I keep falling for all the wrong guys. But believe it or not, you're not the worst I’ve dealt with, Michael. You're not perfect. Nobody is. You say you’re pretending you’re something you’re not… that must be exhausting. I can see it's catching up with you already…”

“It is exhausting.”

“So stop doing that.”

“It's not that simple. I'm not you.”

“The best things in life are hardly simple, hon. It'll hurt like a motherfucker to undo all the damage, but once you make it to the other side, it'll be worth it. I've been there. I’m not perfect, either.”

“I think you're pretty perfect to be honest.”

“I've done plenty of shit that says otherwise.”

“Yeah, but you admit it. You're not afraid of putting it out there, even if people don't like it. That takes guts.”

“Well, I've realized that you can't please everyone all the time.”

“You should have been a shrink, you know that?”

“No, I'm not very patient with people. That's why I work with animals, remember?”

“You've been with me. It's been over a minute, and you haven't thrown me out yet.”

“Cause I'm a sucker. And beyond all reason, I believe everything you've just said.”

“So, what do we do now?”

“You're asking me?”

“Yeah, you're the one with all the insight.”

“Whatever happens now it's up to you, Michael. I’ve already forgiven you. You say you don’t wanna be with me but refuse to leave, and come in here for an encore. What did you expect from me?”

“I guess I keep hoping you’d change your mind about me. It’d be easier to leave if you hated me.”

“Do you want me to lie to you and say that I despise you?”

“No, unless you do.”

“Well, prepare to stay here all night, cause as much as I want to, I'd never hate you. So, it's just a matter of, do you wanna stay or go?”

He takes a deep breath and surrenders, “I… I think I wanna stay. If that’s okay.”

“That’s okay,” she exhales softly, echoing his words.

Neither of them are sure how to go on from there.

They’ve said so much, and yet there is still so much left unsaid. But the fact that he’s stopped letting that inner turmoil of shame and guilt keep him from her is a big step in the right direction. It grounds him, and gives him some peace of mind knowing that she’s looked him in the eye, and said — yes, I know everything about you, and I still want you.

Maya accepts who he is with an open heart, mind, and arms. She doesn’t seem fazed by it because she’s the most powerful force he’s ever encountered. He’s finally willing to give into what was meant to happen all along. He's tired of fighting himself. And if someone like her can find something redeeming about him, maybe he can try to be better for her.

“Can I…” hesitant, he takes a step closer. “Can I kiss you?”

“Only if you want to.”

“I wanna,” he barely mumbles below the sound of a breath. “I shouldn't have pulled away the other night. I understand if you-”

“Shh, just kiss me,” Maya's cuts him out. “Don't overthink it, Berzatto.”

“Okay.”

Drawing a shy smile, his head leans forward, as one of his hands cup her jaw.

“God, forgive me. You're so beautiful, Maybird,” he utters an inch away from her lips before sealing them shut.

This time, he closes his eyes, quiets the voices in his head, the ones that tell him he doesn't deserve her. In between the cracks of the walls he's put up, something else emerges. The relentless desire that comes with the same force of a waterfall. He lets it take the wheel as he savors the thrill that are her plump lips. Tenderly she kisses him back. Links her hands to his neck, begging him to keep kissing her, to consume her, to take her last breath. And he does. He delves deeper. Sends his tongue to soothe that aching that made a home in his chest. He's never felt his heart beat louder than now. It's like he's been dead for years, and she's bringing him alive kiss after kiss after kiss after kiss…

Chapter 6: Life is a bowl of cherries

Like most things in his life, Michael has a tendency to sabotage his relationships right before things start to get serious. He never follows through, a lot of people would agree. Perhaps, it isn't as much of a tendency but a result from his dependency to something else entirely.

The commitment to his work, the pressure to provide for his family has driven him to a very dangerous path. It’s never been more clear as it is now. His eyes are wide open. Forcefully. And for the first time ever, he’s willing to admit he has a problem that he can’t solve on his own.

It’s way past time to face the music, and he’s scared shitless to put that into words. Once the truth comes out, everyone will know how much of a failure he is.

He and Maya still haven't tackled that issue. She's not oblivious to it. She's the first one who saw that something wasn't right. She called him out on it and felt like a dagger laced in shame poked into his heart. Like most addicts, he never thought anyone would notice, he believed he was going so careful. But Maya Silva is not just anyone. She's insightful as she is sharp. She could spot his bullshit from miles away if she wanted to.

Having someone putting that into words was probably one of the hardest truths he had to hear about himself. He didn't realize it was getting out of hand until she verbalized that. They didn't touch it beyond that. While she's not a stranger to challenges, this is out of her depth. As much as it is for him.

While he got rid of a handful of demons, there are still hundreds that haunt him. They make all his fears come true the day after their kiss…

In an attempt to make a better man out of himself for her by breaking the habit, he tries to go just one day without the comfort of reaching to his hidden stash. He manages to go a few hours in the morning without it, but eventually, it becomes harder to go through the day to stay sober. He takes a lower dose, which is an achievement on its own, but it only shows how much he was relying on that.

Michael desperately wants to follow through for once, and makes the executive decision of not using while he’s with her. He’s aware that trading one addiction for another is not the best way to deal with it, but when they're together, it's easy to forget and ignore all those demons making noise in his head. It's when he's alone that he feels that devious hand trying to pull him into the dark well of desperation that his name carved on the walls.

At this moment, there's another different hand, a cold one, holding his own as they walk between rows of Christmas trees while Maya surveys each of them to choose one to bring home.

It’s the first week of December. They’ve easily slipped back to hanging out as much as they used to. And officially, they’ve been out a handful of times since that night he showed up at her door. They've been talking a lot and taking it slow, which feels nice for a change. Sometimes he wishes he could rush through all this part to see what the future holds for them. Thinking about the future in general has always been scary. However, thinking about a future with her gives him just a sliver of hope that things will get better.

Lacing his fingers with hers, he captures the glimpse of a smile as she keeps hauling his ass deeper into the tree farm. They had driven here, an hour out of the city, so she could cut her own tree, cause she read it was better for the environment. There’s no more fight left in him to chase away this overwhelming warmth, and new kind of love that envelops him. If she’d ask him to fly up to Mars, he’d do it.

His other hand is occupied by the end of Coco's leash that walks by his other side. The dog stops as Maya comes to halt to point at the chosen tree.

“This one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. This one will fit perfectly in the living room without taking too much space.”

“Alright. Let’s haul it out.”

With the help of a saw they carefully cut the trunk at the base and then, aided by one of the farmers, then sleeve it in a net and load it into the truck.

It's a nice drive with his two favorite girls. Coco sits between Maya's feet and props her head on her thigh while she's pampered with lots of caresses and ear scratches. The dog quickly falls asleep like a baby and doesn't open her eyes until the truck has pulled up on the driveway.

They bring Coco inside, unload the tree, and put it on the stand. As Michael busies himself whipping out something for dinner, Maya brings the decorations she bought earlier and starts hanging them on the tree.

It's a pretty damn picture of the two of them, sitting on the couch, sharing food in front of the fire. He wishes he could frame that moment when she glances at him with that vivid glint in her eye that makes his heart melt.

Maya climbs onto his lap after putting the dishes away. Sitting sideways, her head pillows his shoulder, while his arm curls around her waist. One of her hands holds his bearded jaw, having her fingers softly petting his hairs.

“Thanks for helping me today,” she utters, enjoying his embrace and the cozy decorated room.

“Anytime, Maybird,” his palm slides over her legging-covered thigh.

Maya lifts her head and presses her curved lips sweetly on his cheek.

“We should go on a drive sometime again. It was nice.”

“Yeah, it was. Maybe for New Year's.”

“It's a date,” Michael squeezes her knee as her head leans to the side to capture his eyes.

Maya throws one of those disarming smiles that drives completely out of his mind. He holds the back of her head and seizes the temptation of her lips he’s come to know so well in a matter of days. He revels in the way their mouths fit together like two puzzle pieces.

They lose track of time while their tongues swirl slowly to the same cadence, savoring every second of it as if it was the last. Their arms are loosely locked around the other when Maya swifts her position to straddle his thighs instead. Her body dangerously rezones, sitting over his crotch. His adventurous hands travel to her ass, while the lock of their lips remains strong. He can’t help but pull her hips flush against his as the kiss heats up.

They've never gone further than second base until this point. Though they agreed not to rush into anything, tonight might be the day. He wants to. And so does she. But there's still that part of him that's holding him back from crossing that line with her. Maya's special. He's known her for so long, he wouldn't forgive himself from ever hurting her.

“I thought we were taking it slow.” At the most inconvenient moment, he breaks the kiss and takes his hands away from her when his body demands more of her.

“We’re making out… slowly.”

“Not anymore.”

“Do you have a problem with that?” A sly grin flashes across her face as one of her eyebrows arch.

“Don't look at me like that, Maybird.” He throws his head back on the edge of the couch.

“Like what? I’m not doing anything,” she laughs and leans her face closer to his. “Is it that bad to want you? Don’t you want me?”

“Of course I want you, sweetheart.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that doing this with you feels pretty fucking weird.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew you as a kid. You were practically a baby when we met.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said, Bear. First, stop thinking about me as a kid. That's creepy. Second, you aren't much older than me, Mister. And third, do I look like a fucking baby to you now? Or… Do I look like a babe?”

“A babe. Definitely a babe,” he emphasizes, lifting his head and running his tongue across his lips, letting his eyes roam the beautiful curves of her body hugged in a tight t-shirt and a pair of leggings.

“So treat me like a babe. Fuck going slow. Kiss me like you mean it, goddammit! Stake your claim. Grab me. Touch me like the world is about to end and the last thing you wanna do is spend your last dying moments with me.” She demands so passionately, it sends a chill through his body.

He swallows, as his eyes become glossy in lust. Michael grabs her chin to keep her face still. Chasing that desire, he ravages her mouth like he’s never done before. Drinking her in, letting his tongue run wild as his hands go down to grip at the curve of her hips. He unabashedly handles her body to press harder on him, over his growing bulge, that makes her moan into his mouth every time it hits the right spot.

Maya is beyond pleased to have him finally give in to that shared crave that only grows bigger by the second. He grows bigger even quicker once he’s jumped over that line.

Without breaking from his eager kiss, Maya stops moving on his lap and sends her hands to undo the fly of his jeans. Beneath the denim fabric, she can tell how his erection strains, begging to be released by the kindness of her hand. He groans a couple of curses into her mouth when she peels back his underwear.

Maya doesn’t have to look down to know how big he is. Her palm curves around his swollen cock. It fills up both her fists as she stacks one on top of the other. There’s some wetness already that she spreads down to the underside that helps her jerk him off nicely.

Michael loses momentarily his ability to breath and parts from her lips to draw some air. He captures her eyes that hold a darker shade as both of her fists tighten around him. After a moment, he glances at her diligent, handy work that might have him come earlier than he’d want to. Michael hasn’t been touched like this in a long time. At least not with someone he had a connection as deep as this.

“Does it feel good?” Asks Maya with a grin splitting her face, as she shifts on his thighs to straddle just one and rub herself against the toned muscles of his leg.

“So fucking good,” he says under his breath as his head falls back, clutching his fingers to her moving waist. “I… fuck… fuck me… Are you riding my leg?”

“Uh-huh. Do you want me to stop?”

“Hell no. That’s…” his breathing keeps faltering as she picks up the pace. “You getting all wet for me?”

“You have no idea, Bear,” she purrs over his lips.

All his blood flows down to fire consuming his center, letting him dangle from one lousy thread.

“Don't have to hold it. It's okay if you wanna come.”

“It's just… I don't want you to think…”

“Shh. There's nothing to prove. Just close your eyes, and relax. Let me give this to you.”

Following her guidance, his mind clears completely as he closes his eyes and stops clenching every muscle of his body to let her bring him to ecstasy. His hips buck up a few times. And in just a few more pumps, his cock twitches in her hold before covering her hands in the warm spill of his orgasm.

Maya’s hips come to a halt. She tenderly kisses his exposed Adam's apple without letting go of his hardness that still throbs for a moment as the orgasm ebbs. Then she wipes her hands on her leggings while his mouth finds hers. He presses a couple of soft kisses at the corner of her mouth as his breathing recovers.

Michael cradles the back of her head and pulls it down to his shoulder. He plays with her hair, while she listens to his heartbeat as it evens.

“I’m gonna make it up to you,” he says under a breath.

“You don’t gotta.”

“I wanna. Just need a sec.”

“Okay.” She smiles to herself, hugging his chest as he descends from his high.

Once his strength returns, he’s seizing her lips again at a gentle pace. His tongue swims in that endless well of affection she offers freely.

When he's ready, he picks Maya up and carries her to the bedroom to finish what she's started. Clothes are quickly discarded in the dim lit room they both painted together. When he frees her from her leggings and underwear, she's still wet.

He's dumbstruck by the beauty of all her, all bare just for him, laying as the most precious offering.

Smiling bashfully, he props one elbow on the bed, and lies by her side. His fingers gently slide across the surface of her inner thigh. Her skin forms goosebumps beneath his palm as they ascend closer to her groin.

Aiming for that sweet spot between her legs, he locks eyes with her and watches her expression as they land on her folds. Drawing a breath, her chest swells as he tenderly craws circles around her clit. The arousal wrapping around his fingers and the sighted moans he coaxes out of her mouth makes his cock harden again.

“A little harder,” she demands between pants, placing her hand on top of his to show him exactly how hard he can go.

“Like that?”

Maya nods and then holds his bearded jaw with both hands, pulling his face closer to capture his mouth, while his fingers move quicker. She jolts at the sensation of two of them suddenly slipping into her opening. He keeps his thumb steady massaging her clit at the same time. The delicious mixture of movement makes her core thread in a tight knot of pleasure that begs to be untied.

“Michael, baby… I'm almost…” His name has never sounded as good as the way she cries to it the closer she gets to the edge.

“I know, sweetheart. Come for me, beautiful.”

His fingers slip in and out gradually faster until her body is left shuddering by the final impact of that sweet orgasm. The soft fabric of her skin buzzes beneath his palm as she rides that wave of pleasure that takes her to a higher plane. All her muscles seize up for a split second, and then her body becomes jelly.

Inhaling a long breath, Maya turns to the side and curls against him, hugging his torso.

They stay in comfortable silence for a long moment, enjoying the calmness of being wrapped around the other.

Maya kisses his neck softly while his fingers run up and down her spine.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you are like this?” He whispers.

“Yeah, I think you did,” her head tilts up to look at him.

One of his fingers draws her jaw, “I mean, you’ve always been stunning, but I’ve never seen you glow like this. It's like staring into the sun.”

“You're so fucking corny.” She smiles shyly before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “You look different, too. More relaxed.”

“The power of orgasm.”

“That must be it. When was the last time you had sex?” She blurts out, and regrets immediately after seeing his eyes slightly widen. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Sweetheart, you can ask me anything now. I mean, we’re both fucking naked. It can’t get more intimate than this.”

“That’s true.”

“To answer your question… the last time I had sex was a few months ago. It wasn’t anything serious. There was this girl in my building, we used to hang out sometimes. And then… then there was you, and I couldn’t…” he doesn’t have to finish for her to grasp the concept that he couldn’t be with anyone else but her.

“Well… If you’re up for it, we could go all the way.”

“I suppose we could. We’ve come this far… Why stop now, right? It’s the end of the world, after all.”

“Right,” she laughs, pressing her lips to his shoulder.

Feeling more energized, she guides him to lay on his back, stretches his arms above his head while she mounts his hips. Leaning over, she nibbles his bottom lip as her ass rotates over his dick, getting it to become hard-rock again with such little friction.

“Are you clean, you know, STI wise?” she mumbles over his mouth.

“That is the sexiest thing anyone has ever asked me.”

“So, are you?”

“I am. You?”

“Clean and safe, if you’re wondering. That’s sexy to me.”

“Bet it is,” he chuckles, grabbing her ass and pressing her harder against his building erection.

She moves like an enchantress, cursing every inch of his body with her charms to use for her pleasure. He welcomes it. He’s never felt this excited in years, and that’s all she is. Her impulsivity, her passion, her vitality… It's the perfect cocktail. She adds all of her to it, doesn’t leave behind an ounce of anything. It’s all or nothing. That’s why he easily falls in love with her more every day. He wants to drink her all in, absorb every drop until she becomes part of him.

When she sinks onto his cock for the first time, he’s mesmerized by the way she looks at him with nothing but radiant warmth and lust. Her hands brace his chest, as she slowly takes him all the way down. It feels like his world spins on its axis as she experiments with her hips. First, waving gently, then when she’s used to being filled with him, she starts bouncing on top of him.

Nothing ever felt more right than having her like this. Her skin melts beneath his palms, and all he wants to do is explore every corner of her body. She throws her head back and moans at the air as her hips go back to rocking back and forth when they get tired.

Michael slings an arm around her waist, pulls her down against his chest, and gingerly swifts her body around to be on top. His thrusts suddenly come sharp and measured, hitting all the right spots within her tender walls, earning a few good cries mixed with his name. He holds one of her breasts in his palm, as he madly makes love to her. He feels her nails scratching roughly along his back as they both swim closer to the edge. There’s a force taking over his hips that pushes him to his limit as if it was a matter of life or death. It is. At this moment, nothing matters more than chasing that ultimate reward. He makes it his life mission. It consumes everything in the room, makes his whole body tremble in ecstasy as he ascends with her closer to that pinnacle.

He doesn’t stop until she’s left breathless with her body shaking underneath him. And this time, he can hold on for just one more second till she comes apart to let go and have all his seed spilled inside her.

This becomes their most memorable night to date. That room becomes their safe haven to explore and love each other in ways they haven’t done before. They disappear into a daze of sleeping, fucking, and repeat. It becomes primordial and sacred. He finds new ways to worship her body. She finds new ways to reach into his soul, carve herself deeper.

Chapter 7: That's the way the cookie crumbles

Michael is sitting on the couch, absentmindedly surfing between channels on Maya's TV when Coco sprints down the staircase, anxiously whining after hearing a string of loud popping sounds outside. The dog hops onto his lap with her tail between her legs. She lowers her head, tucking it beneath his arm, trying to make herself as small as possible. He glances out the window to see a few kids playing with novelty fireworks across the street.

“Are you scared of fireworks, Coco girl?” He pets her head softly. “Shh, It's okay, baby.”

Maya's out tonight with some of her coworkers she's made friends with, and he's decided to stay with Coco. She doesn't need babysitting, but he likes staying here. To be honest, he's been sleeping at Maya's most nights since they started having sex.

He soothes the dog with lots of cuddles and a couple of treats until the kids go back home and the big scaredy-cat pit bull finally stops trembling.

They both doze off for a while, and he's awakened by the ringtone of his phone when Maya calls him to ask to be picked up. She said she had a few drinks and didn't want to drive. So, he takes Coco with him and drives to a bar that is only a few blocks away from his own apartment.

Maya is more wasted than she sounded on the phone. Her friends are only halfway there. He makes sure that all her friends have someone to give them a ride before taking Maya home. Instead of driving back to Oak Park, he decides to take her to his apartment.

It concerns him to see her in this state. She barely mumbles a word, but he can clearly see that there's something going on that she can't bring herself to say. Michael shouldn't judge. God knows how many times he's drowned his sorrows in a bottle, but this doesn't seem like her at all. She was so excited earlier to go out and now there's nothing but sadness plastered all over her face.

Upon their arrival, she vomits everything she had drank earlier and some more. Michael holds her hair and soothes her back while she leans over the toilet until there's nothing more left in her. He dutifully takes care of Maya and brings her some juice to settle her stomach after getting her to lay down on his bed.

In the morning, he quietly slips out of bed, takes Coco out on a walk and feeds her before Maya even wakes up. By the time they return, Maya is already up. She's taken a shower, and now she's just sitting on the couch, wearing one of his shirts, sulking and eating some crackers she found in the kitchen cabinets.

“Morning, sweetheart.” He kisses the top of her head while Coco goes around the couch, wagging her tail, demanding some attention.

“Hey,” Maya greets back, glancing at him while holding the dog's face and kissing her nose. “Was she good last night?”

“Yeah, she's the best.” Michael sits down on the coffee table and pats the dog's spine as she lays down on the floor. “Did you know she's scared of fireworks?”

“Yeah, she's not a fan.”

Maya tucks a knee to her chest, catching Michael's vexed look that creases his brow as he props his elbows on his knees and tensely links his fingers together.

“What?” She asks dryly.

“I didn't say anything.”

“There's clearly something in your mind. I can tell.”

“Of course you do.”

“C'mon. Out with it, Berzatto. What is it?”

“Nothing. I just… I'm worried about you. You didn't seem like yourself last night.”

“Bear, you don’t have to worry about me. I just took a few more shots than I should have.” She shrugs it off with little importance. “But I'm fine… Well, you know, besides the killing headache and the hangover. I shouldn’t have drank that much.”

“Then, why did you?”

“I don't know… Why does anyone drink at all?” She annoyingly deflects.

“You seemed okay when you called. But when I picked you up… You could barely stand.”

“Look, I'm sorry that I called you. I'll think twice next time.”

“It's not that, sweetheart. I loved that you called… I'm just trying to understand what happened.”

“People drink. Big deal. I went out with some friends and had fun. That's it. Why are you grilling me about this? It's a little hypocritical coming from you, don't you think?”

“I'm not grilling you. I'm trying to figure out what happened. It’s obvious you're trying to hide something.”

“Yeah? Tell that to your stash drawer. You wanna lecture me about drinking? Start explaining why you need that many pills.”

“You went through my drawers?”

“I was looking for a shirt.”

“You know what? It doesn't matter, cause we're not talking about me right now.”

“How convenient. You're the one that has a real problem. I was upset last night and I got wasted. The end. I'm not going to drink tonight or tomorrow or the day after that, and probably it won't happen again, cause I know my limits. Do you know yours?” She jabs sharply, meaner than he's ever heard her.

Michael hangs his head down, shame washing all over him, stares at the floor for a long moment before answering.

“I wasn't trying to start a fight or lecture you. I just wanted to know if there was something bothering you– I guess it was just a matter of time before you found… You're right… I'm… I have a problem. But I don't use when I'm with you… I…”

Maya stands up and faces the window. Looking outside, she comes to realize how tactless that was on her part. Tears slip out of the corner of her eye. She never wanted to confront Michael like this. Let alone let her own insecurities get the best of her.

“I'm sorry. I didn’t mean…” She wipes her tears, and picks up the phone from the table.

She unlocks it and presses play and speaker for him to listen to a voice message she received yesterday. In it, the voice of her sister suggests that Maya should consider not attending Christmas dinner to avoid upsetting their mother like the year before. The message goes on about their-sister-in-law being pregnant, about to give birth around the holidays, and that she doesn’t need that added stress to that night, since they’re the ones hosting this year somewhere in bumfuck, Utah. She babbles for a while about how Maya has made her situation even worse for herself when she decided to move back to Chicago and hide it for months; along with a string of excuses that she's heard many times before.

They've always been subtle with their dismissal, saying it was fine if she had other plans. But that call is the first time they've openly asked her to refrain from attending a family function.

“I got it during dinner and I just… I don’t know, it’s like a switch flipped in my head, and I started throwing back shots to forget… I wasn’t trying to hide it. I just didn’t want to talk about it or think about it right now.” She explains, placing the phone, and then paces the length of the living room a couple of times.

“I get it,” Michael sighs and stands up, running his palm over his beard, putting a stop to her feet.

“I’m sorry that I went through your stuff and that I used that against you… I shouldn’t have. That was a low blow.”

“Guess we're both kinda messed up. I wasn't trying to hide it, either. You already know that I'm fucked up. It's just… We've been in this bubble and I wanted to enjoy that for a little longer before having to deal with all that, y'know?”

“I know,” her hand gently cups his bearded jaw. “When you're ready to talk about it… I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Bubble or not. I… I've never been happier with anyone, Michael. It might be incredibly naive and idealistic of me to say this, but I feel like if we're honest with each other, there's nothing we can't face.”

“I feel that too, Maybird.”

Michael holds that same hand that's placed over his beard and prints a soft kiss on her palm, tickling her skin.

Then, he releases it and perches his hands on her waist as Maya links her arms around his neck.

“What are you going to do with the whole don't come home for Christmas thing?”

“I don't know. Part of me just wanna show up and ruin their night. But I know if I stay, they'll see that they're just as miserable with or without me. They just need someone to blame for their misfortunes, and I’m it.”

“Hey, maybe you could come have dinner with us like you used to.”

“Christmas at the Berzattos? I'm not sure which one is worse.”

“C'mon, they both suck. It's our first Holiday since we started this, it'd be nice to spend it together, don't you think?”

“I guess… I could think about it.”

#jon bernthal #michael berzatto #michael berzatto x ofc #the bear #the bear fanfiction #jon bernthal fanfiction #michael berzatto x reader #fanfiction #darlingwrites #salt of the earth

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mcdonaldsplayground · 2 years

Text

| actually the worst | bonus part

aged up ao’nung x f!reader (18+)

summary: a few years after meeting the metkayina people (and quaritch trying to kill your entire family), you finally get a chance to bring ao’nung to see your former home. however, there’s more to think about than just touring him around the forest.

includes: 18+ content (not anything actually spicy, just more suggestive), teasing, swearing, suggestive remarks, ao’nung being a cocky bastard again😮‍💨

word count: 5.4k

a/n: okay so in this universe neteyam is still alive because i simply cannot process complex emotions at this time😀 also please note that i made up the general plot here just to fit the story but obviously it’s probably gonna be very different in the next avatar films😅 ALSO, i’m so sorry to anyone who was expecting smut or like, in-depth descriptions, but this is as spicy as my writing is gonna get for now hehe. hope you enjoy this lil’ bonus part. i’m gonna get to writing some other stuff soon:)

“Okay, everyone! We’re leaving in ten minutes so if you’re not ready by then, you’re flying by yourself!” Your father called, looking frantic as he saddled up his ikran and tried to herd everyone over at the same time. Jake always went full dad-mode before these trips.

Since the battle on the ship with Quaritch a few years ago, things had finally calmed down and allowed your family the ability to travel back home to the forest and the Omatikaya clan. However, the island had become your home too, so you tried to split your time between each. As much as you loved returning to the forest, though, there was someone that you found increasingly difficult to leave behind.

Ao’nung. The most annoying person you had ever met. Also, often to your chagrin, your boyfriend. The past few years together had been whatever your guys’ version of domestic bliss was. Mostly a lot of playful teasing and sometimes borderline bullying. A lot of flirting, too. Your family and friends often called the two of you childish, but that was just your dynamic, and you loved every second of it.

Recently, though, you’d been a little disappointed. Not with Ao’nung’s treatment of you, definitely not, but with how busy he’d been with his duties. You knew it wasn’t his fault, he was the son of the Olo’eyktan, after all. It was just that between going out hunting, Olo’eyktan training, and working on completing his warrior rites, you felt as if he was becoming a stranger that you were watching from afar. You couldn’t even remember the last time the two of you had been alone.

“Hey, I’m sorry that Ao’nung can’t come, [Y/N].” Neteyam said as he packed the last of his things and strapped them to his ikran, shooting you a sympathetic look. You sighed to yourself, trying not to let your disappointment show.

“It’s no big deal,” You shrugged. “It’s not like we’re leaving forever.” It was true that you wouldn’t be gone as long as usual this time, but it was certainly long enough. Not only would you be away from Ao’nung, but you would miss the completion of his Iknimaya. He was supposed to finish up next week, which was the only reason he wouldn’t be able to come with you like you had originally planned months ago. Actually, you'd been begging him to go along with you for a while, but it had never worked out with his schedule. This time seemed to cut the deepest, though.

“You keep saying it’s not a big deal, but I don’t think you mean that,” Neteyam pushed, coming over to stand next to you. His presence was a comfort, especially because he had inadvertently become the person you always went to for relationship advice. “It’s okay not to be okay, you know.”

“Yeah, I- I know…” You trailed off, unconvincing. “I just wanted to be there when he finished his Iknimaya. He’s worked so hard, Teyam.” You bit your lip, staring hard at the ground. “And-” You cut yourself off, suddenly feeling embarrassed at your own thoughts.

“And?” Neteyam’s tone was gentle, encouraging. You sighed.

“And I just keep worrying that he’s going to get tired of me being gone all the time. Once he’s officially a warrior he gets to choose a mate. I know it’s really horrible of me to think it, but, what if he doesn’t choose me?” You involuntarily imagined coming back from the forest to find him mated to another, your heart rising to your throat.

“I hear what you’re saying, but I have to tell you that’s impossible, [Y/N]. If you could see the way Ao’nung looks at you, you would know.” Neteyam grinned as you flushed, fighting a smile of your own. Before you could say anything in response, your dad declared it was time to leave. Your heart sank back down, and you turned to mount your ikran.

“Wait! Wait up! You’re going to forget your favourite, most handsome possession!” The deep voice sent a familiar shiver of longing down your spine, though his words made you roll your eyes. There was only one man in the world who could do that to you with just a sentence.

You whipped around, wide-eyed as your big dork of a boyfriend sprinted over to your family.

“Miss me, forest girl?” He was grinning like an absolute fool as he finally came to a stop a few feet away from you, panting slightly. You were quick to hide your extreme joy with a glare, lest you show just how much power he held over your emotions.

“Aren’t you supposed to be taming a skimwing right now?” You raised an eyebrow. “You know, so you can prove that you’re a man or something?” You held back a smirk as he narrowed his eyes.

“Alright, then. If you didn’t want me to come you should have just said so.” He said, nonchalantly shrugging as he turned to go back. You knew he was goading you, but you couldn’t help it as you jumped forward, catching his wrist.

“No! Don’t.”

“Oh, so you do want me to come?” He simpered, eyes dancing with mirth. If you weren’t in front of your family you probably would have jumped his bones right there. Something about that perpetual conceited attitude did things to you.

“Can you not be a dickhead for like, one second?” You asked, eliciting a chuckle from him. That was when you noticed the tattoo.

The sweeping intricate black lines spanned a good portion of the left side of his rib cage, swooping slightly up and around the curve of his back. It was gorgeous, but the ink looked incredibly fresh, the edges of the elegant piece slightly raised. You gaped, your fingers twitching with the urge to reach out and touch it.

“What is that?” You breathed, flicking your gaze up to meet your favourite ocean blues.

“I’m surprised you don’t know what a tattoo is considering you’ve lived here for-” You glared daggers as he spoke, indicating that now was not the time for witty banter. He cracked a wide grin, holding his hands up in surrender. “Alright, geez. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Okay but-” Suddenly everything fell into place in your mind and you gasped, your eyes growing wide. “You finished your Iknimaya?”

He nodded. “Just call me the greatest warrior who’s ever lived- woah!” He laughed deeply as you barreled into him, wrapping your arms around his neck before he lifted you off the ground and spun you around.

“Ao’nung the mighty warrior.” You could barely contain your smile as you peppered a few kisses along his cheeks. “I am so proud of you!”

It wasn’t like either of you to show such blatant affection in front of others, especially your parents, but it seemed impossible not to in this moment.

“That’s why I’ve been so busy lately,” He admitted, pulling back and setting you down in front of him, maintaining a loose grip on your waist. “I had to beg my father to let me work overtime, and it was a pretty tight schedule. I technically finished yesterday, but I woke up before dawn this morning to get my tattoo done.” You could have sworn the only other time Ao’nung had smiled this big was after your very first kiss.

“Oh, Nung, I’m so happy for you! Thank you!” You leaned in to kiss him, but you were rudely interrupted by your youngest brother, who was standing a few feet away with your family.

“Oh, Ao’nung! I’m so proud of you, mighty warrior! Let’s kiss in front of everyone and waste a whole bunch of time being gross!” He mocked in a high-pitched voice, rolling his eyes. Lo’ak may have gotten older, but he still loved to make fun of you two. “I hate to break up your guys’ little love fest, but we were supposed to leave like, ten minutes ago.” He huffed. Tsireya may not have been around to chastise him, but your mother certainly was. She smacked the back of his head, glaring at the boy.

“Lo’ak! You should be happy for Ao’nung! He is a warrior of the clan now.” Neytiri turned to look at Ao’nung, smiling proudly. Ever since your parents had found out about you and him, your mother was very supportive. She’d grown to love him like a son. Your father, however, was not so fond. You and him had been through many arguments in which he claimed you needed to wait until you were old enough for a mate in order to be with Ao’nung. Even now, when this had suddenly become possible, Jake looked a little disapproving.

“My love, Lo’ak is right. We really do have to get going.” You frowned at your father’s lack of enthusiasm, but nothing could truly drag your mood down for long as you thought about finally getting to show Ao’nung your precious forest. Even the days-long ikran flight didn’t seem all that bad anymore.

After you and Ao’nung clambered onto your ikran together and took off, you sighed contentedly, leaning back into him when you had a chance to relax a bit. You could feel the low tenor of his voice through his chest as he spoke, his hands placed on your thighs as he rubbed slow circles along them with his thumbs.

“I can’t wait to see this great forest you’ve been raving about for years.” You grinned at his words, biting your lip as you fantasized about showing him every inch of your former home.

“I can’t wait to see what my grandmother thinks of you.” You snorted. The image of her scrutinizing gaze making the usually overconfident Ao’nung sweat had you giggling.

“She’ll love me. All the ladies do.” You could hear the smirk in his words.

“I hated your guts when we met.” You reminded him, hoping to humble him even just slightly. It was a futile attempt.

“And now?”

“Maybe I still do.”

“Is that so?” He bent his head down to whisper into your ear. “It’s interesting that you hate my guts but yet you love when I rearrange y-”

“If you finish that sentence I will push you off this ikran so fast, Ao’nung.” You warned, a nervous laugh threatening to escape your chest.

“You’d miss me if you did that.”

“Unlikely.”

“Oh, you'd definitely miss me."

“So what is this boy’s name, again?” Your grandmother questioned as you helped her prepare food for dinner. You couldn’t help but smile as she squinted her eyes in the direction of where your brothers and Ao’nung were talking around the fire a little ways off. You all had arrived at the forest late, so everyone was just resting for the remainder of the night. Exploring would have to wait until tomorrow.

“His name is Ao’nung, grandmother.”

“Hm. Well, he could do with an attitude adjustment. But he looks to be a strong warrior, no doubt.” She pursed her lips, still appearing to scrutinize him.

“Yes. He actually just completed his Iknimaya,” You tried your best not to sound like you were gushing over him. “He is very strong, indeed.” The image of his toned arms flashed through your mind. The way he could lift you over his shoulder and carry you. The way his muscles tensed when he gripped your hips as he kissed you. You couldn’t help but flush, shaking your head slightly to clear it. Your grandmother was staring at you, the smallest of grins tugging at the corners of her lips.

“So you are mated, then?” She questioned, and you almost choked on air. You supposed you should have expected the question sooner or later, but it still surprised you. Your heart sped up at the thought.

“Oh- well… no.” You mentally cursed yourself for stuttering.

“You sound unsure, child. Do you not want to be his mate?”

“I- It’s- Yes. Yes of course I do,” Your gaze drifted over to him, watching fondly as he laughed at something Lo’ak had said. Despite the obvious stupidity of it, you still couldn’t shake the thought of him possibly choosing someone else to be his mate. It was like some deeply hidden fear you didn’t know you had until now. “It is just a matter of whether or not he wants to be my mate too.” You finished your thought quietly, looking down at your hands in your lap.

“I would think that would be the least of your worries, my dear.” Your grandmother spoke softly, placing a gentle hand on your knee. “He may be a mighty warrior, but even I can see his weakness is you. His eyes betray him every time he looks at you.” This was the second time recently someone had told you such a thing. It made you slightly dizzy with childish giddiness, the idea of you having such an affect on the aloof and confident male.

You were unsure how to respond, but you smiled widely to yourself, a little embarrassed. Your grandmother just chuckled and turned to call everyone over to eat.

The food was almost painfully good after eating pre-prepared meals over the course of your trip. Even Tuk, normally the pickiest eater ever, was scarfing every last bit down. It also felt great to eat together with your family, just enjoying their company as you leaned into Ao’nung’s side, his free arm wrapped around your shoulders. It didn’t take too long for everyone to finish and start turning in for the night.

Your family all slept in a group of hammocks nearby one another, but Ao’nung had been given a spare hammock a little ways away in order to give him more “privacy”, as your dad said, but you figured that he just didn’t want the two of you sleeping near each other. He was very protective and hypocritical considering everything he got up to with your mother when they were young. He was also naive if he thought that sending Ao’nung off by himself was going to keep you two apart.

Once everyone seemed soundly asleep, you silently slipped out of your hammock and crept away to find Ao’nung. It wasn’t too difficult as he appeared to be struggling to lie down comfortably in his hammock. You giggled quietly, sneaking up beside the warrior.

“Do you know how stupid you look right now?” You whispered, quickly slapping your hand over Ao’nung’s mouth as he yelped. You could barely hold in your laughter. “Shut up, skxawng! You’ll wake the whole clan!”

“Very funny, you little brat.” Ao’nung’s expression was sour, especially as he continued to struggle slightly with his hammock.

“You know, I’m very good at helping people who ask.” You smirked, folding your arms across your chest as you watched him try to stop swinging from side to side.

“Fine.” He huffed, glaring up at you.

“Fine what?”

“Seriously?” Ao’nung shot you an annoyed look, but you just stood there, enjoying the power you held in this situation. When you didn’t respond, he finally huffed, resigning himself to what he knew you wanted.

“Would you please do me the favour of helping me figure this stupid thing out, your all-knowing royal highness?” The last bit was a snarky joke, one meant to annoy you, but it only made you grin.

“Why didn’t you ask sooner, Nung?” You made your way over and steadied the hammock, fingertips pushing lightly on Ao’nung’s bicep to indicate that he should move over. When he shifted, you took the chance to climb in beside him, a look of pleasant surprise overtaking his features. The hammock stilled once the two of you had found a comfortable position facing each other, close enough to breathe the same air.

“So this is what you came here for?” Ao’nung questioned, his eyebrows raising as his signature cocky smirk settled onto his lips.

“It’s like you want me to punch you.” You scoffed, tracing the familiar patterns of his skin with your finger, particularly the glowing constellation of freckles that spanned his broad chest. He shivered beneath your touch. However, when you accidentally grazed over the edges of his new tattoo, he hissed. You quickly pulled back, cringing.

“Sorry!” You apologized hurriedly, worried that you had hurt him.

“No, it’s alright. It’s just still a little sore.” He admitted, offering you a gentle smile. You returned it, but did not place your hands back where they were.

“So, you can choose a mate now.” You finally said after a few moments of silence, peering through your lashes to try and gauge his expression. This was a conversation you had been dying to have for days, but it hadn’t seemed like the right time until now. Even so, your heart began to race slightly.

“Yes.” Ao’nung’s tone was low, serious. Maybe it was because of your nerves, but you found it difficult to read his expression.

“And?” You bit your lip, waiting impatiently for him to say anything. Your irrational fears were screaming in the back of your mind.

“And?” He quirked an eyebrow. “What do you want me to say?” You heart plummeted into your abdomen, unable to stop yourself from frowning deeply as you flicked your gaze down so you could avoid eye-contact. You swallowed thickly as your throat constricted. You felt like such a baby for reacting this way, but it was like you couldn’t stop it. The next words coming out felt like someone had stuck a branding iron down your throat.

“Do you want to mate with someone else?”

“What?” Ao’nung sat up slightly in shock, confusion and worry written all over his face. “What are you taking about?”

You just shrugged, afraid you would truly start crying if you spoke or even looked up from your fidgeting fingers.

“[Y/N].” His tone was firm but soft, a plead for you to explain. You felt ridiculously stupid.

“There’s lots of beautiful women of the clan. Many who would make a great Tsahìk some day,” You managed quietly, letting out a short breath. “I don’t want to hold you back just because we have been together so long. Besides, I know what your mother thinks of me, and maybe she is right. I still act like a child sometimes. I am gone so much visiting home. And I am not-” Your voice broke, a few warm tears finally spilling over onto your cheeks. “I am not Metkayina. I am not like you.”

It was painfully silent for a few torturously long seconds. Finally, you felt Ao’nung’s fingers tilt your chin up so he could look at you. His gaze was giving you the all-too-familiar impression that he was seeing you intimately, seeing beyond just your face.

“I do not want anyone else.” He breathed, moving to cradle your face in his hands, brushing away your tears with his thumbs. “I have the most beautiful woman here in front of me. And for some reason, Eywa forbid, I think she likes me.” He grinned and you felt your heart lift.

“You might be right about that.” You said quietly, earning a low chuckle from him.

“[Y/N], I need you to know that I do not care if my mother doesn’t approve of you. The other women of the clan do not tease me. They do not make ridiculously funny faces when they’re annoyed. They do not have the courage to stand up to me and call me a jerkwad when I’m being mean.” The two of you laughed faintly at the memory of you calling him every English insult you could think of. “I love you because you do all of those things. And I love you because you are just as much Metkayina as anyone else in the clan, even though you did not grow up knowing our ways. You were not born into your place there, you earned it, and I can only hope I’ve earned even a slight chance at being worthy enough to be your mate.” You were staring hard at each other now, barely breathing as you hung on to every single word he said. You slid your hands behind his neck, tugging him closer to you, your lips ghosting over his.

“Whether I like it or not, you own my heart, Ao’nung.”

His lips crashed to meet yours with an intensity that set your heart racing. The kiss was all heat and desperation, tongues and teeth. Ao’nung bit your bottom lip, smirking when you gasped. His fingers then found your waist and he smoothly flipped your positions so that he was over top of you, groaning as you placed kisses along his neck and jaw.

“I can’t believe you were worried about me not wanting to be your mate when I’m so fucking in love with you.” He said between sloppy kisses, his hands sliding slowly up and down your thighs, positioned on either side of his body. You shuddered at the way it made your stomach tighten. “As if I would let anyone else hold my heart in their hand.” You whined as he fingered the waistband of your clothing, sucking on a sweet spot just beneath your ear.

“I can think of something else of yours that I would love to hold right about now.” Your eyes glinted as you gazed at him, a quick flash of surprise passing over his face before he broke into a smirk.

“Be my guest, love.”

The mid-afternoon sun shone brightly as you excitedly made your way up the hallelujah mountains. You and Ao’nung had spent the morning around the forest with your family, but you’d really wanted to show him some of your favourite spots by yourself, one of which you were heading to now.

"Hurry up, slow poke!" You found yourself calling out, a laugh bubbling from your chest when Ao’nung groaned behind you. You turned your head back to grin tauntingly at him.

"When you said you were going to show me your home, this is not what I pictured us doing." Ao'nung frowned, glancing warily over the side of the vine you both walked upon.

"No? What exactly were you picturing, then, Nung?" You queried and Ao'nung's lips split into what you could only describe as a suggestive grin.

"Oh, you know, maybe a little less dangerous hiking and a little more finding a secluded spot to-"

"Oh my Eywa!" You yelped, shaking your head. "Just keep walking, you sick bastard."

"Just putting ideas out there.." He chuckled, suddenly pushing forward to catch up to you. He slung his arm around your waist, pulling you into him like it was the most natural action in the world.

You leaned in closer, standing on your tiptoes to whisper into his ear. "You're so desperate, Ao'nung." He shivered.

"Only for you, forest girl." As the words left his lips, you suddenly felt as if you’d experienced this moment before, down to the exact details. You furrowed your brows, trying hard to remember why it felt so familiar.

“Oh!” You gasped out loud, nearly sending your boyfriend toppling over the side of the vine as your memory came into focus. On instinct, you reached out quickly to steady a confused looking Ao’nung.

“Are you trying to kill me, woman?” He asked incredulously, placing a hand over his heart. “What was that?”

You flushed, unsure of what to say. It was such a strange experience to have to explain.

“Um, it’s nothing.” You laughed breathily, trying to sound as casual as possible before continuing your trek up the mountains. Unfortunately, that was not satisfactory enough for him. He grabbed at your waist, pulling you back into him so you were both were facing forward, your back flush against his chest.

“Tell me.” He whispered in your ear, sending goosebumps along your skin.

“It’s weird.” You chuckled, turning your head so you could meet his eyes. They were alight with interest.

“Like you don’t already say weird things all the time?” He asked, laughing as he earned a gentle punch to the bicep. You turned fully to face him.

“Do you remember the first night we went to the cove of ancestors? The night Kiri had a seizure?” You questioned, playing with your fingers as they rested on his chest, feeling his slow breaths beneath your touch.

“Of course.” He furrowed his brows slightly, as if playing through the memory in his head. “The first time you let your guard down around me.” His lips split into a small smirk, though it was more fond than cocky.

“Yeah, whatever,” You smiled softly. “Well, before all that crazy stuff happened, I had a vision when I connected to the tree. It was- well… it was this.” You bit your lip, spreading out your hands to indicate the scene around you.

“The mountains?” He questioned, not entirely following.

“Yes. But us, too. The exact conversation we just had a few minutes ago. It felt so familiar while it was happening, but I couldn’t remember why until now.” You felt awkward explaining it to him, avoiding eye contact and instead trying to read the rest of his face.

“So you knew this was going to happen?” It was a loaded question, indicating both the general situation and your relationship as a whole. A smirk was tugging at his lips.

“Kind of…” You said slowly. “But at the time I still thought I maybe hated you, so it freaked me out. I didn’t know if it was actually going to come true or not. I was working up the courage to talk to you about it before everything went to shit.” You laughed a little, thinking back on all the chaos of those first few months living on the island.

“I want you to be my mate.” Ao’nung said suddenly, staring down at you with a rare completely serious expression. You snapped your head up quickly, confused at the sudden turn in conversation, though a flutter of excitement settled in your stomach.

“I know,” You smiled softly. “I can’t wait until we get back home-”

“No, now.” His voice was firm, his mind already made up. Your eyebrows shot skyward. “I don’t want to waste anymore time not being officially bonded. We can go tonight,. I think Eywa has given us a sign through your dream.” He grabbed your hand, gently lacing his fingers with yours.

“But- what about our parents?” You asked, trying to ignore the rising giddiness inside of you. “I mean my dad will probably burst a blood vessel in his eye. And don’t even get me started on your mom… She already has enough reason to hate me.”

“It’s not about them, my love.”

“But you are the chief’s son, Nung. There are rituals and ceremonies for you and your chosen mate-”

“Me and you.”

“Yes,” You breath hitched slightly, blushing. “Us. Your parents won’t be pleased if you do not complete them in the traditional way.” You were speaking to deaf ears, reiterating things he already knew well.

“We’ll have our own stupid rituals.” He muttered, his fingers skating along your arm, bringing them up to trace the outline of your jaw. “Ceremonies and parties and disapproving parents can wait until we return.” He searched your eyes, desperately hoping for you to be feeling the same immediacy as him. The same all-consuming desire to be one after waiting so long. Despite your feeble rationale behind why it was a terrible idea, you had to admit that you wanted to do it just as badly.

“Tonight, then.” You finally caved, an excited buzz settling under your skin. Ao’nung grinned, picking you up to swing you around before pulling you into a hug. You could feel his excitement in the air around you, making you bite your lip to keep from smiling too wide.

You woke to the sun already shining brightly, pleasantly warming your skin. A pair of strong arms were wrapped around your abdomen, your legs tangled together with two other, longer and broader ones. It could have been any other morning after sneaking out to be with Ao’nung.

It was not.

You could feel the mating bond even now as your mate lay sleeping beneath you, his soft breaths tickling your skin. Nothing about your feelings for the warrior boy had changed, you still felt the deep love that had claimed a stake on your heart years ago, but it was like it had been fortified, made immortal under the gaze of Eywa. Your soul was tied completely to his, two halves to make a entirely new whole. His eyes fluttered open as you stared at his sleeping form, admiring his peacefulness. He smiled sleepily.

“Good morning, my love.” His voice was slightly raspy from sleep, and you felt your stomach tighten, suddenly replaying every euphoric detail about the night before. You clenched your legs together, letting Ao’nung sit up and pull you into his lap while running a hand slowly up your thigh. Once you were comfortably sitting on top of him, he began to place sweet kisses along your neck.

“Ao’nung.” You tried (failed) to sound stern, placing a hand on each of his biceps in a weak attempt to stop him from caressing all along your body. “We have to go back.” Your words got lost in a moan as he nipped at your collarbone, looking up at you in a desperate sort of way. You shuddered, unable to stop yourself from dipping your head down to place a kiss on his pouted lips. He kissed back fervently, one of his hands sliding to the back of your head while the other danced along your ribcage, dangerously close to eliciting another moan from you. If you didn’t stop now, you knew you never would.

“Alright, alright. Don’t make me smack you, dipshit.” He groaned in annoyance as you pulled away, your lips already slightly swollen from the kiss.

“C’mon, [Y/N].” He whined, his ears flicking back in disappointment. “You're my mate, now. Can we not just enjoy this time?”

You chuckled, tracing your thumb over his bottom lip. “I’m sure you got more than enough enjoyment last night. Now it’s time to for us to deal with the repercussions of that.” You quickly placed one more soft kiss on his lips before sighing and untangling your limbs from his. He unhappily followed your lead, holding your hand to help you up. As the two of you slowly began your walk back home, you smiled to yourself, feeling more content than you ever had before. Even the thought of confronting both your parents seemed but a small inconvenience, an easy price to pay for the sheer elation you felt at the bond you now shared with Ao’nung.

“I still think we could have stayed longer.” He frowned, swinging your intertwined hands back and forth slightly.

“Doubtful. It’s pretty much a miracle they haven’t sent out a search party already.” You laughed, guessing it was already mid-morning. Your family had probably been awake for hours.

“What should I say to your parents?” Ao’nung questioned.

“Well, you should probably start by begging my dad for mercy,” You deadpanned. “Though I doubt that will help.”

“Thanks, I’m so glad you’re confident in me.” Ao’nung quipped back sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I’d like to remind you that I’m a warrior now.”

You grinned. “You’re about to be a dead warrior.”

“Well, at least my last great memory is of you on your knees last night-"

You cut him off with a light punch in the gut. It was like hitting the bark of a tree, but he did you the courtesy of pretending to feel it, at least.

“Geez, someone’s touchy about that.” He smirked, amusement flickering in his gaze.

“Just save the cockiness until after we talk to my parents. I know you probably don’t know to be humble, but-”

“Oh, I’ll be humble. I’ll be even more humble than Neteyam when he gets a compliment.” He spoke of it like a challenge, and you giggled.

“Speaking of that, I forgot to mention that my brothers are probably going to kill you, too, you know. Then maybe even Kiri. You’ll be dead four times over.”

“You’re lucky you’re worth all this murder I’m about to experience.”

“Just remember that this was your idea, genius.”

“Yeah, yeah. But who’s the one who loves me too much to have said no?”

“Shut up.”

“Fine. But only if you give me a good luck kiss before we get back because I’m starting to get nervous now.”

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ymiwritesstuff · 4 months

Text

Lack of You | Ch. 5

UHHHH HI!! Listen I'm so so sorry this once again took so long!! Like, the burnout hit at the WORST time because this one is supposed to be THE chapter, you know? A lot of important stuff and all. But once again, this one is VERY long, which I hope compensates for the wait. Thank you SO much for the support and patience and I hope you guys will enjoy this and that people are still reading this ;-;

Genshin Impact

Yandere!Childe/Tartaglia x Fem!Reader

Summary: It had been months since your arrival in Liyue, and the world around you didn't seem so sad and cruel anymore. During one of Liyue's most significant festivals, you find yourself absorbing emotions you hadn't felt or accepted in years. And in the center of them all, was your savior.

Notes: 18+, Fluff, Smut, unprotected sex, fingering, vaginal sex, "lovemaking", we finally fuck Zhongli wohooo

Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5

Also posted on AO3!

18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Zhongli was not blind. And he certainly was no fool either. He had lived for long enough to know how the human mind functioned and how one responded to traumatic events of the past. He knew all too well, and when the opportunity to help someone in need presented itself, he could not overlook it.

He wondered if he had been too invasive, too eager to offer his assistance, but he justified his doubts by telling himself that it was the right thing to do. Given who he was, he felt responsible for the people of Liyue he held so dear, and even though you had drifted to the region fueled by determination to escape, you had quickly adopted the harbor as your home and tried to rebuild your life. And it had worked, much to his relief.

It had been a few months. The seeds of progress he had planted from the moment he saw you on that rainy day were finally beginning to sprout. You had gotten more active, completing every errand he had tasked you with the utmost diligence and efficiency. He was more than pleased to see this, as the primary motivation for this part of the contract was to give you something to occupy your mind with that wasn’t your dark and heavy memories.

Zhongli still did not know everything, nor was he necessarily desiring to. When you first met him and as time went on, he made his own less than gracious conclusions that were far from pleasant. He noticed the little signs that showed through your behavior, how you initially avoided making contact with his eyes, instead opting for the ground, and how your form was frequently taut and cautious, giving glances behind you as if someone was following you.

All that and more told him all he needed to know.

His curiosity was far from extinguished, though, but he would not attempt to kill it by asking or even insinuating that he wanted to know more. The unwritten boundaries set between you two would stay up unless you yourself wanted to bring them down. Zhongli wished to create something in which you felt safe enough to open up should you feel the need to do so.

And to an extent, he had managed that. No longer were your shoulders tense from anxiety around him nor did your voice disappear as you spoke. Your previously dull, almost lifeless eyes had regained their fire and instead of looking at him with uncertainty or doubt, he only saw perseverance and tenacity.

He had somewhat kept his distance out of respect for your outer limits, but as time went by he noticed you seeking him out more and more. Occasional conversations over tea became a part of your life in Liyue, and during these mundane meetings, Zhongli started observing the healing.

For a human, your strength was admirable, and as the man who had saved and guided you, he could say with confidence that he was proud of your progress.

In a way, his duty had been fulfilled. You knew Liyue like the back of your hand and did not require his assistance navigating the region. That meant that your interactions had developed into something more informal, which both he and you appreciated greatly.

You had not strayed away from him, which had been something he had considered you doing throughout your healing. Instead, you opened up to him, telling him about your life back in Snezhnaya, however, carefully dancing around the fragile ice that guarded the horrible events that had led you to Liyue.

It was only partially because you did not want to relive the memories and would have rather left them in the past. Still, in reality, even if you wanted to let him into the once-decayed graveyard that was your mind, you would not have been able to tell him everything.

For you couldn’t remember it all.

The life you had been coveting ever since your escape was at your fingertips, but at the cost of losing the majority of the memories that used to haunt you. It frightened you, if only slightly. Reliving everything, again and again, was the last thing you wanted, but perhaps in the back of your mind, you felt distressed at how seemingly and surprisingly simple it had been. Your memory had started to fade mere weeks into your arrival, but what scared you possibly the most was the fact that the danger was not entirely over.

No matter how much of your recollection disappeared into the void, you always remembered him. The things he had done to you were a blur, but the image of his eerily calm yet unhinged face was crystal clear. And you feared it.

The possibility of him finding you at this point was unlikely, and forcing you back home even more so. You had the adepti and Mr. Zhongli’s protection, not to mention the fact that the strict operations of the Fatui most likely kept Childe so busy, that he had no time to pursue anything or anyone else. In hindsight, you were glad he had joined that wretched group, for it gave you some much-needed peace of mind.

All in all, you were safe, that much you knew for certain. The only things disturbing you were small images and flashes of him, but you endured them because unlike the real him, they could not hurt you.

“So, what happened next?” Shu asked with an almost knowing smile on her lips and a teacup in her hands as if she already knew what you’d say next as you recalled the events from the other day. You chuckled before you continued.

“She was so exhausted she fell face-first into the pile of Glaze Lillies we had just gathered,” you concluded, laughter escaping your lips with the last few words. The fresh image of someone as proper and punctual as Ganyu succumbing to something so trivial as exhaustion amused you greatly, though you felt bad for the girl and the embarrassment that she clearly felt after she awoke.

“Poor Ganyu,” Shu said, placing her cup on the outdoor table upon which you two sat. “When will she realize that she can’t keep overworking herself like this?”

You stifled a laugh, noticing the humorous glimmer in her eyes. “It’s been how many millennia now, Shu? I think it will take at least five more.”

A joyous laughter from both of you filled the air as you went in for another sip of that delicious jasmine tea you had become familiar with. The taste brought you comfort, as did Shu’s company.

After a ridiculous amount of time spent worrying about and going over how you could even begin to ask forgiveness from the thoughtful nurse after what had occurred, you eventually managed to do so and apologize. As selfish as it sounded, you had been afraid to lose her and the possible help you could have received from her. It was thanks to her that you were back on your feet and it was her that had basically kickstarted all the positive things that had happened to you. You were beyond grateful.

Shu was a kind woman, her gaze was always warm and welcoming, so it shouldn’t have been such a shock to you when she forgave you without hesitation.

After that, things returned to as they were when you first arrived, except this time you felt lighter, rid of the feelings of doubt that had bothered you so. Shu continued offering you her support, much more than you thought was appropriate for a simple nurse-patient relationship.

However, it didn’t take you too long to realize that Shu was more than a nurse who doted on you. She had become a friend and an irreplaceable one at that.

Shu glanced at the pier not too far away, that pleasant smile never disappearing. She watched as the people worked tirelessly making the final preparations for the night’s event. The entire harbor was even more full of life than usual and for a good reason.

“This year’s Lantern Rite will be truly phenomenal.” She turned back to you with that familiar kindness in her expression. “I’m glad you’ll be able to experience it tonight.”

Your smile mirrored hers. You had heard of the old tradition many times during your time in Liyue and soon came to understand its importance. You could only imagine the brilliance and warmth that the festival gave birth to during this time of year. The people began making preparations early on, and seeing the progress coming to an end filled you with a fresh sense of excitement you hadn’t felt previously.

“I can’t wait.” You turned back to her. “I’ve never seen fireworks, you know?”

Shu’s smile seemed to widen if that was even possible at this point.

“Oh, you’re going to love them! They only get better each year.” Her hazel eyes wandered to the afternoon sky as she reminisced about all the beautiful works of art that had decorated the heavens for all these years. From the look on her face alone, you could deduce that she adored the event, seemingly more than the average citizen.

“Will you be watching them with Yingyue?” You asked, curious about the woman Shu had talked so fondly about in the past. It was clear to you from the way her face lit up every time the name was merely mentioned that the nurse felt a certain way about her. This time was no exception.

“Ah… I haven’t asked her yet. Do you think she’d want to join me?”

Her question made you scoff and roll your eyes as to you the answer was more than obvious.

“Of course I do. Didn’t you say that your last meeting went well? I can’t think of any reason why Yingyue wouldn’t want to spend more time with you,” you encouraged, which seemed to put Shu at ease, the warmth on her cheeks never disappearing. Her eyes found the ground but her smile prevailed.

“Yes. I think you are right.” You gave her a smug grin and finished the last drops of your tea.

“I know I am,” you said as you stood up. “In fact, I’m so certain she’ll say yes that you are going to go ask her right now.” Shu’s smile quickly disappeared and her face twisted into shock.

“What?! Right now?? (Name) I can’t do that!” She exclaimed, to which you giggled and gathered your things.

“Sure you can. I have to go run some errands now.” You looked at her with an expression that could have been described as jokingly serious.

“I better see you with her tonight or else the evil spirit of ‘having-an-awful-time-at-the-Lantern-Rite-because-I-didn’t-invite-a girl-with-me’ will haunt you forever!” You spread your palms and held them in front of you in an exaggeratedly dramatic attempt to terrify her.

Something inside you cringed at your actions. Director Hu was so much better at this.

Still, Shu laughed cheerfully, much to your joy. “Alright alright. I’ll go ask her.” A satisfied smile made its way onto your lips as you basked in your small success.

“Good. So, I’ll see you two later tonight?” While your voice held some mischievousness, you had been genuinely wanting to meet this girl who was the partial source of Shu’s happiness. That emotion stuck to you as well, you didn’t remember the last time someone else’s joy had been this contagious.

Shu nodded. “Thank you for the encouragement, truly.” She bowed her head, a custom you were more than used to at this point, so much so that you instinctively did the same, before you began your departure.

You felt content with your accomplishment, despite it being rather ordinary. Shu had helped you tremendously throughout the months, so you were glad you were able to provide her with a bit of assistance of your own. It was the least you could do.

Though you felt like nothing you did would be truly enough to repay for everything she had done for you. For what had felt like an eternity, you had only known monsters that wore the cloak of the people you thought were allies, and betrayal in its rawest form. You had been fooled, forced to be the center of a twisted desire, and corrupted beyond all that once made sense. Losing all faith in everything that you once thought kept you safe. People, laws, and even the Archons had all failed you, which only left a bitter taste and distrust in your heart, one you thought could never be redeemed.

However, people like Shu gave you hope and restored that lost trust in the world. She and everything else in Liyue was like a blessing that you had long needed to survive.

As you walked around the decorated harbor, you greeted some of the locals you had become familiar with. With your work for the funeral parlor came opportunities to socialize and help the people, some of whom you had become especially acquainted with. It was rewarding and helped you form a sense of security within the region that had once felt so unsafe.

Liyue felt like your home more than ever before, and participating in the Lantern Rite would solidify your position as a citizen of the harbor. That’s how it felt to you at least, the locals and others had welcomed you long ago. Being a part of something so vital to Liyue felt fulfilling, and further allowed you to put behind the regrets of the past and the cold that had followed you all the way from Snezhnaya.

You barely thought of the icy region anymore. You had no reason to, nor did you want to. The Tsaritsa’s plan of which you did not know the details, was in motion and you were sure nothing would deter Her Majesty and her vile Harbingers in their pursuit of domination. That, however, had little effect on you anymore.

Your legs led you to the heart of the harbor, where people walked and ran around, applying the finishing touches to make the surroundings look as festive as possible. Lanterns were painted, and fireworks were being prepared for their grand launch. The atmosphere was so different, yet familiar at the same time. The busy streets were no strange sight to you, however, as you stood in the middle of the preparations for the biggest festival of the region, you couldn’t help but feel special.

As you took in the view, your eyes wandered to one of the many shops. You didn’t recall ever seeing this one before, which led you to surmise that it was one of those stalls opened only during the festival. Shu had told you about them, and apparently, they were favored by tourists who traveled to the harbor for the Lantern Rite. By the looks of it, Shu’s explanation made sense. The shop was filled with what you could call souvenirs, items, and gems from the region that people could take home with them to remind them of their journey.

However, what caught your eye was something placed right in front of the shop. A dress. The kind of dress you had seen some of the wealthier locals wear from time to time. The colors were light, and the fabric looked airy and comfortable. You couldn’t look away.

In your admiration, you slowly walked to it, which prompted the cheerful clerk to turn to you. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” You merely hummed a response, fingers carefully lifting one of the long sleeves that looked so inviting. The silk was smooth to the touch, and the delicate flower embroidery on the midsection stretched all the way to the top part of the neatly pleated skirt.

The dress was rather modest. With a high neckline that folded into a cross-collar and a ribbon that coiled around the waist, it gave an aura of elegance and beauty, unlike anything you had seen before. You ran your hand down the front, feeling the fabric and silently admiring the craftsmanship.

“You’re not the first one to look at it so longingly.” You finally looked at the clerk, who had somewhat of a regretful expression on their face. “I’m afraid the price is a bit too much for most. It’s one of a kind after all.”

Curiosity stuck to you, and you glanced at the price tag. Wow. The clerk wasn’t lying, it was quite out of the league of average citizens. It didn’t surprise you though, the dress was stunning. With the revelation, a thought sprouted in your head:

You could afford it.

You thought about it for a second. The dress was beautiful, and you had managed to gather a good amount of mora with which you only ever bought food and other things meant to aid in living. You had never bought anything you could describe as… Fun. Tonight would be special. People would gather together and marvel at the beauty of the festival. It was no ordinary event and thus no ordinary clothes would be appropriate.

If you were to look your best, might as well do it right.

“I’ll take it.”

As the sun was nearing the horizon, painting the sky with colors of comforting warmth, your errand run was coming to an end. You had never burned this much mora on a single trip but felt strangely fulfilled. The dress you bought was carefully folded in a bag and you made sure to take especially good care of it before you would wear it. You’ll never forget the overjoyed expression of the clerk. The image brought a smile to your face.

The charm of the souvenir shop left an impression on you and made you wonder what wonders the other regions of Teyvat housed. Maybe one day you would set foot into nearly every corner of the world, gaping at the cultures and sceneries, the events of the past left behind to rot.

You let out a breath as you came to a stop at a small bridge that protected a pool of water. Smiling to yourself, you thought about all the fortunes that had befallen you and just how lucky you had been. You had gotten your life in order, made a living for yourself and most of all, made friends with the people and beings who had selflessly helped you. You still couldn’t understand why or how any of this was even possible, but you were the happiest you had ever been.

The sound of approaching footsteps caught your attention and as you turned towards it, your heart swelled. The sight of those familiar, comforting golden irises was always a happy one. With a lovely smile, you greeted the man with a seemingly otherworldly presence you had noticed from the very first meeting.

“Mr. Zhongli, good evening.” Out of habit, you bowed slightly. Despite knowing him for quite a long time, you still felt the need to express politeness whilst in his company, he was a man with a rather high status after all, and only now did you understand why people thought of him so supremely.

“Good evening,” He returned the bow, his voice as delightful as ever. “I trust that you have wrapped up your preparations for the Lantern Rite?” He asked, pointing to your bags of various purchases with his gaze. You gave a nod.

“That I have. I was just on my way back home to get dressed for the fireworks.” Mr. Zhongli gave a nod of understanding before suddenly extending his arm to you, that warm smile you had had the pleasure of seeing multiple times spread across his lips.

“Shall I walk you, then?” His request surprised you somewhat. You knew he was as courteous as one could be, yet you didn’t expect him to offer to take time out of his possibly busy evening and spend it in your company. Despite that, however, you felt something twist in your insides at the sight of him offering his help once more.

“That would be great, thank you.” You gave him one of your bags and with your now free hand, wrapped it around his arm and positioned yourself by his side. As you began walking in relative silence, you wondered what went through his head. Glancing at him carefully, you only saw an expression so neutral and unbothered, that it caught you off guard slightly.

The details of his face had never been this close to you and you found your eyes glued to them. His skin was flawless, his eyelashes were long and as dark as his hair and while his lips were thin, they were naturally dusted with an extremely sheer shade of pink. Only now, in this moment, did you truly realize just how incredibly handsome he was.

You turned your gaze forward, hand squeezing his arm just slightly. Suddenly, you were hit with so many complicated, almost suffocating emotions, ones you had ever truly felt only once before. But why now? Perhaps it was because you finally felt at ease enough to allow yourself to experience the underlying excitement and the increase in your heartbeat when in someone’s company.

You gripped the handle of the bag you were carrying tighter. Body encased in growing warmth, you somehow managed to continue walking relatively normally by his side.

He was reticent. You were expecting to hear his voice talk about the Lantern Rite or any other tradition of Liyue he seemed to possess an endless amount of knowledge about. But there was none of that. Only silence. It was not uncomfortable, quite the opposite, but right now, you strangely missed the sound of his voice.

As you neared the staircase that led to your home, you heard him let out a small breath. He glanced at you, the gentleman in him making sure you stepped up each stair without issues. Zhongli knew it was not entirely necessary, looking out for you was merely something he was somewhat used to, as that had been the primary foundation of your relationship for a time.

That foundation was crumbling and shifting into something else and he felt it. You both did. As you regained strength, so did a desire to learn more about Mr. Zhongli. You had opened up to him, abandoned all doubts and suspicions that previously weighed on your heart, and approached him further because you wanted to, not because the circumstances forced you to.

And you were always happy to see him.

“(Name),” He called out as you reached the top of the staircase. His voice was subtly different as if he had deserted his professionalism and opted for a tone suitable for a long-time friend. It was the tiniest of shifts, but you caught it.

“I have a question for you.” You blinked a couple of times and nodded, signaling him to continue. He cleared his throat and broke eye contact for a brief second. You frowned your brows slightly. Why did he seem so uneasy all of a sudden?

“The Lantern Rite is about to begin and as you know, it is the biggest festival in all of Liyue.” You listened carefully, utterly unsure where he was going with this. His eyes softened and the warmth in them almost made you melt.

“As such, it would be an honor to spend it in your company.” Your eyes widened and you felt a tingle in the pit of your stomach as he finished his proposal:

“Would you like to join me in watching the fireworks tonight?”

You sucked in a breath so fast you almost choked, the innocent question drifting in your head, spinning your brain around. Immediately you thought back to your earlier conversation with Shu, and suddenly, you found yourself relating to the nurse in a way you never could have expected.

Breaking eye contact, you stared at the ground for a brief moment, thinking about his words far too much. Your nervousness wasn’t due to the kind of anxiety you used to feel but rather due to an overwhelming set of emotions and feelings towards this man. The mere question did not confirm anything, nor were you completely sure what you even truly felt, but his proposition ignited internal flames you thought were permanently extinguished.

When you looked at him again your heart skipped a beat. Never before had you felt this way when looking at him, at least not in a way you could acknowledge. He was patiently waiting for your response and you were sure that even if you were to reject his offer, it would not offend him. It was just the kind of man he was. Kind, polite, selfless, and unbelievably attractive.

You could never say no to such a proposal from him.

“I would love to.”

The expression upon his face brightened and he seemed almost relieved at your answer.

“Wonderful. Shall we meet after sunset?” You briefly eyed beyond the railing, the sun only slightly visible from behind the horizon. It would be night soon, and the harbor would enter a completely new grandeur, one completely foreign to you.

“Sounds good.” You smiled, all that previous turbulence fading away and getting replaced by a pleasant calm that washed over you as you noted his gorgeous expression, satisfied with the outcome of his question.

You took your bag from him and turned to your door, ready to start preparing for a night you had a feeling would be unforgettable.

“See you then.”

The lit lanterns of your home draped the entire area in a pleasant glow as the sun finally reached its destination. The bag in which your earlier purchase once sat lay empty on a table, and instead, the comforting silk fabric hugged your form. Looking at yourself through the mirror, you were in awe.

The robe-like dress fit you like a glove and the Glaze Lillies you had placed in your hair matched the embroidery perfectly. Twirling a couple of times, you took in your appearance. The flowing skirt and sleeves looked almost hypnotizing and the combination of fabrics felt more comfortable than you could have ever imagined. Somehow, the garment looked even better once it was worn. You didn’t dare to admit it out loud, but you looked beautiful.

Glancing through the slightly open window, you noted how the evening darkness slowly engulfed the sky and how the warm colors that had adorned it faded away. It reminded you of your meeting and it did not take long for you to start making your way to the front door after taking one more look at your reflection through the mirror.

Mixed thoughts filled your mind as you descended the familiar set of stairs, ones of happiness, and awe, but also nervousness. You could not help but wonder what the following hours had in store and a part of you was not certain of how you would behave around Mr. Zhongli after your only recently realized feelings. Perhaps you had always felt a certain pull towards him, but only now did you truly realize it.

There was no guarantee of anything, however. You would be happy with whatever fate had in store for you regarding him. He saved your life, and for that, you would always be grateful.

When you arrived at the same bridge you had run into him earlier, he was already there, curiously eyeing the surroundings that had become radiant in warm lights as he so often was. His attire was different, much more festive, and thus much more suitable for the night’s occasion. You barely saw his face, but you just knew the kind of expression he had, the one where he was idly looking around, with no thoughts of urgency in his mind.

His outfit was in the colors you were used to and was not too different from his daily attire. The darkness of the expensive-looking fabric was lifted by the gold accents that, much like his eyes, seemed to be almost glowing. His shoulders were adorned by metallic decorations, much larger than the ones in his usual clothes. The outfit was long, and it swayed in the gentle winds as he stood, gloved hands on the railing. You watched him in pure awe. He was ethereal, like an adeptus, mighty, like a god, he was…

“Gorgeous.”

The word flew out of your mouth effortlessly, with no attempts to restrain it. Mr. Zhongli seemingly heard it, as he was quick to turn his head towards you. You did not look away, you weren’t able to. The word was an understatement, you didn’t think there existed any that could describe the man that stood before you.

Zhongli paused for a brief moment as he took in your appearance, the greetings he was about to say disappearing and fading away somewhere he could no longer find them. He usually had the right words for any situation but now, he was utterly speechless. You were beautiful. Like a withered flower that had regained its strength and beauty. Your eyes were full of life, like reignited flames of bravery and determination.

“You look… Stunning,” he managed to say, to which you smiled shyly. His voice wavered slightly, rid of its usual structure. You had never heard him like this, and it seemed almost more… Human. You couldn’t exactly put your finger on it, but you appreciated the compliment from him.

“Thank you, Mr. Zhongli. You look wonderful as well.” He smiled at your words. “Shall we?”

With a nod, you once again wrapped your fingers around his arm and walked by his side. You trusted he knew the best spot to watch the fireworks that would soon take to the dark sky. The harbor was so beautiful, decorations you had never seen before sprinkled all over and the smell of local delicacies floating in your nose. The atmosphere was most wonderful and in this moment, with Mr. Zhongli by your side, you were happy that you had ended up in Liyue.

As your eyes scoured the area, they spotted something. Your feet slowed down, causing Zhongli to glance at you and notice how your gaze had glued itself on something, a warm smile spreading across your features. His eyes followed yours and soon realized the cause of your moment of happiness.

In the distance he could see Shu, the nurse he had known for years, and accompanying her was another woman, clinging to her arm happily. They were laughing while participating in one of the many activities exclusive to the Lantern Rite. You sighed blissfully.

“I knew she wouldn’t chicken out.” You mumbled, to which Zhongli chuckled slightly as you continued your journey. You hoped they would have a wonderful time together.

To your surprise, Mr. Zhongli took you outside of the city gates and slightly beyond the road that led to them. He took your hand in his and made sure you wouldn’t fall as you ascended to one of the grassy mountains that surrounded the harbor. The higher up you got, the more you realized what his plan was.

“The view from up here is most exquisite.” He said as you both carefully sat down on the grass. “I thought you’d appreciate a more tranquil atmosphere as opposed to the rather hectic one back at the harbor,” he explained as he looked at you.

How considerate, you thought. It certainly did somewhat cross your mind previously. Though you had gotten used to the bubbling harbor in its usual state, during the Lantern Rite it could get a bit loud and crowded, so you certainly weren’t opposed to this arrangement.

“I appreciate that.” You smiled, and he nodded, content and satisfied with his decision. You were rather close to him, which you did not necessarily realize, as it felt strangely natural. All your doubts and nervousness seemed to just melt away with the warmth that encased your being.

Suddenly there was a flash of light in the empty night sky and immediately your eyes shot up. The booming sound that followed made you jump but it was nothing compared to what you saw next.

The skies were filled with beams of bright colors and magnificent shapes. Your eyes took in all you saw, marveling at the sights you had never seen before. The loud sounds fell silent as your mind tried to process everything your eyes saw at once, the shapes, the colors, and the way they lit up the darkness of the night.

With every rocket that burst open in the sky, you were in awe of what it produced. You could not even begin to imagine what you would see next and that was what made it all the more magical.

Next to you, Zhongli could not help but notice just how awestruck you were, how your eyes glimmered and reflected the brightness that adorned the sky. In all his years, he didn’t think he had ever seen such pure adoration and freedom in someone’s expression. It was like your very soul was glowing with the fireworks, regaining its powers with every explosion. Zhongli wished that this would not be the last time he saw you so full of life.

Your eyes were glued to the festive sight as you quietly spoke:

“...Is Lantern Rite always this beautiful?” Your voice was barely audible, the overwhelming feeling of utter amazement making it disappear somewhere. But the attentive man next to you heard your question.

“No two Lantern Rites feel or are the same,” he began, voice the quietest you had ever heard it. You felt a touch on your hand that you were leaning on, and immediately looked at it, and then at him. You opened your palm and he carefully wrapped his fingers around your hand with his glowing eyes on yours.

“But they are always quite beautiful, yes.”

Something shifted in your heart as he finished, as if it skipped a beat but at the same time filled with passion in its rawest form. His words stuck to you. They were for you. He looked at you with such gentle affection, that it almost made him look vulnerable, like he was silently opening his heart to you. Zhongli was a kind man, yes, but during your time of knowing him, he had never looked at you with such… Affection.

The fireworks boomed in the distance but you could only see them as a faraway reflection in those comforting irises that looked so different, they did not feel as familiar as they may have once had. But you felt at ease whilst lost in them. You felt at ease with him.

You squeezed his hand debating on what you should do next. You craved his warmth, the way he looked at you was almost addicting. But you did not know how to react, you did not know were you allowed to react.

Zhongli seemed to notice your uncertainty, and was quick to speak:

“I apologize. Perhaps I was…” He sighed softly. “Too invasive.”

He went to pull his hand away but your grip only tightened, fueled by desperation.

“No. Please don’t. I… I don’t mind.” You did not dare to face him anymore, so your eyes found your knees. It was so confusing, were you ashamed? Scared? Why were you so quick to pull him back towards you?

It may have been fear, to a certain extent. You had not allowed yourself to feel this way in a long time, and after everything you had endured, you completely shut the emotion down. However, now that you were free and presented with an opportunity to feel without restriction, it felt foreign, but also right. You trusted Zhongli, you felt safe in his presence and you yearned for his warm embrace.

You were desperate for the affection that had once been robbed from you, the kind of affection that had been used against you with devastating consequences. They left you scarred and yet, they returned when you stared at the man before you. From the moment he saved you, he has been nothing but a great help, he guided you, gave you strength to fight, and now… You were falling for him. You were falling in love with this man.

“Zhongli.. I… I don’t know what to say, I-” You squeezed his hand again, on the verge of tears. You were sure he knew, the way his gaze softened was far too telling. He knew, maybe he had known for a while. He had always been very perceptive, after all.

“Say nothing, (Name).” He softly spoke and you soon felt his free hand on your cheek. He was careful, at first only barely touching you, but you welcomed it, leaning in and basking in the pleasant feeling in your core.

“Just enjoy the night.”

The way he smiled almost made you melt, that otherworldly aura glowing stronger than ever. He was your savior, a blessing sent by the divines and someone for whom your pained heart swelled and sprung back to life. Looking at him and that gorgeous face of his, you slowly leaned in, allowing him a chance to reject your advances if he so pleased.

He, however, didn’t.

You wrapped your arms around his torso, holding on tightly for a twinge of closeness you did not even know you had been coveting. To somewhat your surprise, Zhongli returned the hug and as soon as you felt his arms around your form, you let out a breath that held the final bits of dread and worry in your body.

Nothing felt real anymore, nothing felt scary anymore. For as long as you remained in his embrace, you were at peace more than ever before.

The way back to your home was quiet, but you remained close to him, practically hugging his arm. Some uncertainty still lingered, as you weren’t quite sure how Zhongli himself thought of you. You had already accepted your feelings for him, but would not feel sad if those feelings weren’t returned. He had already saved and helped you tremendously, it would feel selfish to think that on top of that, he’d hold the same feelings of affection towards you.

Yet he wouldn’t hold your hand whilst you walked if he didn’t, right?

The last of the fireworks boomed distantly, and the once busy harbor was quiet as people concluded their celebrations. The warm lanterns illuminated the streets leading to that familiar staircase beautifully and made you wish the night would never end.

“Thank you for tonight.”

His voice was as calm as ever as you stepped up the crimson stairs, but his words pierced your heart. You gave his hand a squeeze, humming and nodding as a response. You didn’t want him to go, not yet. So as you both reached the front door, you were quick to speak:

“Why don’t you… Come in for a minute? For tea?”

The way your proposal came out was less than elegant, but you were glad to see him nod.

“I would love to.”

You were quick, perhaps too quick, to open the door and invite him in, your dress flowing with every movement. He walked in and looked around, surprised to see almost no changes from when he last saw your home all those months ago. Everything was more or less the same, and he surmised that maybe you felt it impolite to make big changes to something that technically did not belong to you.

Zhongli sat down on some cushions that laid on the floor in front of the low table and you immediately began preparing tea, bringing water to a boil under a fire. “I hope you have found your time in Liyue comfortable,” you heard him say.

“I certainly have. It is a wonderful region.” You picked out two porcelain cups and laid them in front of the low table in front of him. “Makes me wonder what the other corners of Teyvat have to offer.”

Zhongli hummed at your words as you poured the steaming hot jasmine tea for the both of you.

“Mondstadt, the City of Freedom lies not too far from here. Ruled by the Anemo Archon Barbatos, Mondstadt is also known as the city of wine and song.” As Zhongli spoke in the manner you were so used to, you sat down next to him, listening curiously.

“If you ever plan to visit, you should try dandelion wine. It is the most famous beverage in the nation.”

The City of Freedom, huh? That certainly sounded promising. He spoke with a fond smile upon his lips that told you that he himself had visited the regions many times. You took a sip of your warm drink.

“Perhaps I’ll visit someday. You certainly made Mondstadt sound like the most intriguing travel destination.”

You both chuckled at your words. The atmosphere was light and warm and you felt an increasing tranquility in your being.

A comfortable silence fell over you as you both enjoyed the most beloved jasmine tea. Ever since the day he invited you for a cup all those months ago, the flavor grew on you, and you found yourself drinking it often. Its supposed symbolism of purity and good luck wasn’t forgotten by you, and you thought about it a lot. Maybe you were attempting to harness some of that good luck whenever you enjoyed it.

In the past, you would have thought such superstitions foolish, however, you couldn’t deny the fortunate things that had happened to you. You doubted it was because of one cup of jasmine tea, but you had been lucky. Unbelievably so.

You turned to Zhongli, the physical manifestation of that luck. Even in your dimly lit home, he was beautiful, like an iridescent crystal in moonlight. When you looked at him, your thoughts were a mess. A mixture of joy, relief, confusion, and even… Adoration. In the midst of it all, however, questions floated.

“I… I don’t think I have ever asked this of you but…” Something came over you and you scooted closer to him on the floor, leaving the comfortable cushion behind. Zhongli tilted his head slightly, waiting for you to continue.

“Why have you helped me so much?”

It was an inquiry that had been in your mind all this time, yet you had never found a proper place and time to bring it up. Now, it felt right, for whatever reason.

He stayed quiet for some time, golden eyes looking down for the briefest moment. It seemed like he had to think of his response, which admittedly felt odd. He pondered for a few more seconds before finally speaking:

“Because it is the right thing to do.” His answer was just about what you were expecting, spoken in a quiet tone. There was something in his eyes, though, something you could not place your finger on. His answer made sense but did not shed any light on why he would go so far out of his way to aid you.

“Saving me from a cold rain I understand. But all of… This,” with your hands and gaze you pointed at the surroundings that were so selflessly given to you by him. “And more, I mean…” You took a breath.

“Why do this for anyone, let alone someone you barely know?”

For a while, you had thought everyone in this cursed world lived for their own selfish needs, but the recent actions of the people around you completely turned that assumption around. However, even if your view of the world wasn’t ruled by selfishness, all that Zhongli did for you was still extensive.

Zhongli was not surprised by your confusion, even he knew that though his help was appreciated, it would only be a matter of time before you questioned his reasonings. You were right, he was not obligated to help anyone to this degree, but he felt like in a way he was because-

“It is my duty.”

His words left you puzzled, unsure what he meant. You tried to dissect his response, but it made little sense. His duty? He was influential in the harbor to some degree, yes, but he was no ruler, it wasn’t his burden to care for the people of Liyue, he was a mere consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral parlor. Right?

Zhongli noticed the confusion his words ignited in you.

“I do not expect you to fully comprehend the reasons behind my actions. But know that aiding others is… a part of me, so to speak. It is a duty that soars beyond the things I do for Director Hu.”

He looked to be in thought for a few seconds again before he turned to you again.

“You could say it is a personal matter of mine.”

You looked at him, trying your best to listen. It was clear that he was leaving details out, but you wouldn’t press him for any more information. Your confusion hadn’t fully disappeared, but you appreciated the additional insight into how someone like him thought and operated.

And in the end, it didn’t really matter, for he had already done so much for you.

“I see…”

After a brief moment of silence, you looked at him, eyes shining bright with gratitude. You took one of his hands, a bold move that was partially subconscious, and spoke with a voice full of strength and life.

“Zhongli…”

The way you said his name with such gentleness tickled in his chest and echoed in his ears like a pleasant melody. The grip with which you held his hand was firm, rid of uncertainty and anxiety that once plagued you. There was a flame in your eyes and words of recognition upon your lips.

You had never looked more heavenly.

“Thank you. For everything you have done.”

Something pulled you towards him and soon you held his gloved hand near your chest, your heartfelt words flying into the air with utmost care.

“For so long, I had nothing. I was nothing. Just a miserable pile of flesh.”

The faded memories of abuse attempted a return, but they vanished as soon as you saw his eyes soften. It was as if with his presence alone, he was shielding you from all that threatened to hurt you.

“But you helped me find myself and my strength. I have never felt so alive before.” You let out a half chuckle out of raw joy, shrugging your shoulders and clutching his hand, all the while he listened intently, not wanting to miss any word that came out of your mouth.

“I… I owe you my life. And I don’t know how I could even begin to repay you…”

Zhongli noticed a stray tear running down your cheek, fueled not by misery, but by faultless bliss that had fully taken over your regrets and worries of the past. Through that single tear, he saw a smile so precious it made him want to always see it adorning your features.

“Truly, Zhongli… Thank you. I don’t think I could ha-”

Your sentence was cut short when you felt his free hand on your cheek for the second time this evening. He wiped the tear you hadn’t even noticed most tenderly, leaving you to look at him as a warmth crawled onto your cheeks. His perfect smile was gentle and comforting. His stunning eyes shined like shards of radiant sunbeams.

“You look so lovely tonight…”

Your teary eyes widened and something in your core twitched. His voice was the quietest you had ever heard it, he sounded almost… Vulnerable. There was anticipation in the air and you swallowed a lump in your throat. Your heart raced, but you leaned forward, fueled by something you hadn’t felt in years.

Desire.

Zhongli noticed your actions and welcomed them, though carefully. Leaning in, he kept his gentle hand on your cheek and allowed you to decide where all of this would lead to, and at what pace.

And it didn’t take long until you felt his lips against yours.

Instantly, it felt like a massive weight was lifted from your body like the last of your troubles just vanished into thin air. His lips were soft, his hand on your cheek felt comforting and Gods, he smelled amazing.

You sighed against his lips, feeling a thrilling tingle in the pit of your stomach. Something in your brain that had laid dormant bounced back to life. It was a passionate desire, lust even and it seemed to spread throughout your body quicker than your brain could process it.

One of your hands found their way into the base of his neck, and the other settled against his chest. You could briefly feel his heartbeat against your hand, and that only seemed to add fuel to the growing flame inside you. You pulled his head closer, deepening the kiss that felt like it was feeding an ancient hunger.

Zhongli held his hand at your waist, gently pulling you closer. Your touch was like fire against him, with each passing moment he felt more and more like he was losing himself to this increasing longing for you. However, if that was what you wished, he didn’t wish to step too far.

Pulling back for a fleeting moment, you looked at him through half-lidded eyes, vision clouded by whatever it was that had taken over. You felt hot, and suddenly, just looking at him was enough to awaken indecent emotions.

It was not mere obscenity that invaded your thoughts. As you looked at him, a smile crept up to your face, and your heart swelled. The way he touched you was most caring and the way he looked at you made you feel warmth unlike any before it. He looked down at you, eyes sparkling with affection, framed by the softest of gazes.

Your fingers trailed his face, that perfectly sculpted jaw, and those soft lips of his. You sighed again, marveling at his being. Once again, he looked ethereal in ways you could not comprehend.

You leaned back while still holding him, silently inviting him to the floor. He followed, looming over you as you lay on the ground. You pulled him in for another kiss, which he did not protest, instead allowing his hand to slide to your hip that he squeezed through your dress, sending shivers down your spine and a noise rose from your throat.

That seemed to awaken him from a lustful trance, as he quickly pulled back. He created some distance and you gave him a puzzled look. His gaze had suddenly shifted into something akin to pressing concern.

“Do you… Want this?” He was slightly out of breath, but the question was necessary, for at this point he was more than certain his suspicions of your past were correct, and so he would not put you through something so abominable again, even by accident.

You froze at his question, seemingly being pulled up from a deep sea of danger. His words floated in your head and made you confused, hazed even.

Did you want this?

For the first time ever, you were truly given a choice. You had been so ready for him mere moments ago because for what had felt like forever, that was all you knew. Your damaged mind automatically accepted that you would share this moment no matter what, and while you were certainly more welcome to it than ever, now that the matter of what you truly wanted was in the air… You were stunned.

You looked at him, and for a second, you thought you saw Childe’s wicked grin flash before your eyes. He had only ever taken you greedily, never once considering your feelings or desires. That’s how it always went, thus you had never even fancied the possibility of it being any other way. The monster had corrupted you and your perception of intimacy, and what it could be.

The man before you was no monster.

Your hand traveled to his cheek and your face melted from uncertainty to adoring determination. The image of your tormentor vanished, and you would never allow him to haunt you again.

“I want you, Zhongli.”

His taut body relaxed, and he seemed almost surprised. But he knew from your expression that there were no ghosts of the past possessing you. It was you who spoke to him, you who desired him, and you, who he yearned for.

Zhongli kissed you again, softly. He removed his gloves and threw them somewhere with little to no care. Your hands rested on the sides of his face, dying to have him as close as possible. The way his hands glided along your still clothed body was most delicate, like he was handling the most fragile being in all of Teyvat.

Through the undeniable bliss that threatened to blind him, Zhongli studied you, making sure he couldn’t see any signs of discomfort or pain. He wanted this as much as you did, but he would put an end to it all if it brought you any form of displeasure.

Slowly you felt his sweet lips on the skin of your neck, each kiss burning passionately and causing sighs and whimpers to escape your mouth. He was being as gentle as one could be yet it was all you needed. It was all you wanted.

Zhongli took your hand gingerly and helped you sit up, and your heart only began to race faster. He wrapped his fingers around the ribbon wrapped around your waist but did nothing more.

“May I?”

His deep voice was quiet, sounding different than usual somehow. You nodded, smiling at him shyly. You appreciated his actions more than you even realized. Though you were nervous to be exposed in front of someone after such a long time, in this moment you wouldn’t have wanted it to be with anyone else.

Zhongli began delicately undoing the ribbon, allowing your robe to flow free in the warm air. He was careful not to tear the thin fabric as he pushed the layers aside, slowly revealing a haven of bare skin.

The expensive dress pooled on the ground around you and you quickly pushed it aside lest it get damaged during what was to come. When you caught his gaze, you witnessed a man immersed in an unadulterated adoration, as if losing himself in a sea of deepest devotion.

The brunet’s face twisted into the slightest of frowns as his eyes locked onto the faded scars littered throughout your body. Discomfort poked his heart and he found himself tracing one on your shoulder with his finger. A twinge of shame latched itself on you, but you pushed it aside as best you could, for you didn’t wish to ruin this moment of vulnerability with him.

You did not want to hide from him anymore.

Zhongli eyed your body. It had done its best to remove the physical reminders of violence and you did not look any less beautiful to him. It just saddened him to think about the things that you had gone through. Yet you had endured.

“Who did this to you..?”

The way he whispered was almost pained, as if merely seeing the harm done to you broke his heart into pieces. It didn’t surprise you in the slightest, yet you felt something akin to pleasant warmth in your chest at his words. He cared, and worried over your wounds unlike anyone had ever before. It was a feeling you had been robbed of, and though it ailed you to see him like this, you appreciated his deep concern for you.

You had never seen this side of him, the way his golden eyes looked at you, so utterly filled with fondness and affection, it would have felt foreign under any other circumstances. But the pieces fell into place with him, and everything felt right.

You didn’t shy away from him, or hide your being from him. Instead, you placed your hand on his wrist and leaned in, bringing your lips to his. This was no time to mourn the past, all you wanted, was to feel the warmth of his skin and touch.

Zhongli felt your hands on his lavish clothes, the eagerness to see him exposed fueling you as you slowly helped him out of his robes.

You marveled at his perfect skin, his beautiful physique that adorned him and only seemed to enhance his already hypnotizing beauty.

He leaned in, and your back made contact with the floor below you once again. He touched you gently, a hand settling on one of your breasts while his lips journeyed to your neck. His touch was soft and tame, yet it still sent shocks of pleasure through your nerves.

Closing your eyes, you reveled in the sensations, enjoying the way his lips moved on the surface of your skin, how his hands were dying to explore every inch of you. Your head became heavy, and your hands found his upper back. You pulled him closer, letting out a soft sigh of pure bliss.

Zhongli was not blind to the way you relaxed at his actions, how utterly entranced you became. The way you responded to his every caress delighted and surprised him, but also filled him with profound relief, knowing that he was bringing you such immense joy and contentment. As his hand slowly moved lower, he swore he could detect the faintest trace of a smile playing upon your lips, a silent confirmation that you were experiencing nothing but pleasure.

He kissed you again, a low moan rumbling in his throat that made you twitch. With delicate fingers, he touched the spot that ached for him most, surprised at the amount of slick he felt on his digits. You mewled, already arching your back for him, more than ready for him to slide his fingers into you.

Zhongli pulled back to check on you, only to see an expression so full of lust and affection that it washed all doubt of you not wanting this away. Not only did you look incredibly eager for him, you were also joyful, happy even, and it warmed his heart more than anything had before.

The amount of trust you placed in him to reveal you vulnerabilities like this was a marvel.. Your beautiful eyes looked straight at him, never shying away for even a fleeting moment. In the depths of your gaze, he beheld a strength rarely witnessed in mortal beings, an indomitable spirit that ignited a yearning within him like nothing he'd ever experienced.

Two of his fingers entered you effortlessly, earning him a satisfied mixture of sighs and moans from you. He took in your reaction, it only increased his own arousal. To bring you such pleasures, fueled his desires more than anything ever could.

“Oh… Zhongli…” In your ecstasy, you sang his name like a prayer, desperate to feel more of him. You wrapped your hands around him and pulled him to you once more, all the while his hand worked its magic between your legs.

His touch was measured and deliberate, ensuring your comfort as his eyes watched how your face melted and twisted in pleasure. Your body was on fire and your core tightened with every pump of his skillful fingers. You felt like you were floating in the air, your every sense alert, yet only being able to focus on the sensation of his digits, the sound of his sighs, and the sight of his gorgeous face that was flushed red ever so slightly.

Your insides throbbed against his fingers with every push, so incredibly needy for him. The memory of such intimate pleasure had become a distant memory, suppressed by your own restraint. At that moment, you chided yourself for denying such sensations, for the wave of pure ecstasy that surged through your body, from your core to your very fingertips, was nothing short of addictive.

Zhongli’s attentive gaze looked at you, somehow managing to both look out for any signs of unpleasantness and appreciate your erotic reactions that took the form of those sweet noises from your lips and contorted twitches of your body. He was utterly mesmerized by how you looked and most of all by the fact that this was his doing.

Your unquenchable craving for the man before you was no longer a mystery, it was exposed in all of its obscene glory.

His thumb brushed against a certain sensitive nub that had become swollen with your arousal. The sensation made you twitch, a clear indication for Zhongli to do it again.

Whilst his two fingers moved in and out of your drenched hole, his thumb gently rubbed circles against your clit, spiraling you further down in ecstasy. Your moans threatened to louden due to the new and overwhelming sensations, and you attempted to suppress them. It was a mere habitual reaction, done without thinking, but it did not go unnoticed by Zhongli.

“Let me hear you, my jewel,” he murmured against the crook of your neck. “Your voice is so heavenly…” He nuzzled against you in an almost animalistic yet comforting way before pressing a plethora of kisses on the surface of your skin.

Your voice flew into the hot air and Zhongli was eager to please you, quickening the pace at which his hand skillfully worked, making you clench around him ever so hungrily.

“S-so good… Feels so good.” It was nonsensical how good he was making you feel with his mere fingers, how much pleasure coursed through your entire being.

He lifted his head to look at you, and you only melted even more upon seeing the tenderness in his gaze. The contrast was astonishing. His fingers moved in such ways it almost made you feel dirty, and yet, his eyes burned with the most profound care and devotion.

The improper noises that his fingers making contact with your insides fell mute as all you could focus on was him and his eyes, those eyes that watched over you, even now.

With a heaving breath, you whispered his name and brought him closer, clashing your lips with his. Your hands held onto the sides of his head, desperately needing to feel him close as the knot in your core tightened when his fingers reached new depths.

In that moment, your mind was enveloped in a thick, euphoric haze, a dense fog that you surrendered yourself to with abandon. You had been so alone, so drained of any pleasures of intimacy for so long, that you couldn’t reject them now. And the sole reason for this intoxicating bliss was the man before you

Zhongli, Zhongli, Oh, Zhongli, that was all you heard in your head as you kissed him, moaning against his lips like a starving woman. Clenching around his fingers for the final time, you came undone, bucking your hips against his hand and savoring the quivering waves of joyful pleasure that engulfed your being.

It was only then that you retreated from him, breathing heavily and allowing him to witness your flushed expression and half-opened, almost tearful eyes.

“Are you alright?” He whispered, with the utmost softness in his tone. He fixed a stray strand of your hair that had fallen out of place and watched as your wet lips turned upwards into a smile.

“Never better.” You caressed the perfectly soft skin of his face with your thumb, feeling like you were floating and the air around you was as clear as could be. Never had you been so sure of what you felt, never had you been so captivated by someone.

You only coveted him more.

Zhongli noticed the continuous movement of your hips. Your body was desiring him more, even beyond your breathtaking culmination of euphoria.

“Are you sure?” He was of course happy to indulge but was fearful that you were offering yourself for his own pleasure, as you might have done in the past. He only wanted you to enjoy yourself.

You nodded eagerly, more than sure of what you wanted. There was no doubt in your mind. You wanted to feel him, touch him, love him. With pleading eyes you looked at him, and he pressed a kiss on your lips, silently accepting your request.

Carefully, he positioned himself at your entrance, almost at his limit. He couldn’t deny his own arousal, but for the sake of your well-being, he would hold back, and enjoy himself to the fullest. He wanted you, he really did, but would never admit to himself just how happy and relieved he was that you allowed him this moment.

He entered you slowly, and the stretch of him alone was enough to once again pull your head back. Gods, it felt heavenly. Throughout it all, you looked at him, unable to take your eyes off his perfect features. His mouth was slightly opened, eyes half-lidded as he took in your warmth as he slid into you.

Zhongli hissed at the sensation, his head dipping low as he tried to cope with the feeling. It was as if you were made for him, you took him so well, it was unbelievable.

It didn’t take long for him to start moving. The slow, drawn-out thrusts felt ecstatic, blessing him with an array of moans and whimpers from your mouth. He pressed himself against you, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. You felt his breath tickling your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

With each thrust, you throbbed against him and tightened around him which only prompted him to give you more and dig himself deeper.

“Hah… Gods, you feel divine.” His hand found your cheek and his eyes bore into yours. He was as tender as he could be, dying to shower you with his affection. His eyes glowed warmly, framed by his eyebrows that were frowned ever so slightly due to these overwhelming sensations.

Your heart skipped a beat every time he moved, every time he touched you, and every time those safe, golden irises stared at you. He embodied everything that made you happy, everything that made you feel secure. All your worries and images of the past disintegrated as he held onto you so earnestly, and loved you so genuinely.

Zhongli showed no signs of fatigue, and only seemed to increase his movements, bringing his lips to yours once more in a multitude of messy kisses. You wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

As they lay there, fully exposed to one another, any invisible walls that once existed between the pair disappeared. There was a connection that only seemed to deepen as you indulged in each other’s less than pure desires.

However, there was no filth in the air, no desperate cries or the destruction of minds. Childe wasn’t there to threaten you, to harm you, to ignore all your protests. No, the image of the man had long disappeared from inside your head. In this moment, you had all but forgotten what he even looked like. Freedom was at your fingertips.

And your liberator was right in front of you.

His lips tenderly brushed over your neck, bestowing gentle kisses upon the faded scars, not claiming you as his own, but liberating you from the clutches of the one who had mistreated you. A silent vow echoed in his actions, a pledge to shield you from harm and safeguard your well-being as long as he drew breath.

You felt him touch the spot that made you see stars. Over and over he prodded at it crashing you with a massive wave of euphoria every time. Your noises grew louder and with it, Zhongli’s arousal reached new heights.

How he loved your voice, your sweet sounds. They were so full of life and emotion and they echoed in his ears like a spell and made him twitch.

When you wrapped your legs around his torso, he almost reached his peak right there. The new angle allowed him to hit your cervix far more effortlessly, making you both drown in each other’s pleasure.

“Zhongli… Oh.. Zhongli…” In the midst of mewls and gasps, you spoke his name. That was all you could say, for he was all you could think about. Your core was on fire, the familiar knot had returned and with every thrust, you clamped around his length more and more. He felt amazing, he made you so full you felt like you were losing your mind.

Zhongli noticed your expression, and how utterly entranced you were, drunk on the bliss he was providing you. The way your face twisted and melted by his actions was addicting and brought him closer to his impending peak.

Desiring to have you as close as possible, Zhongli wrapped his strong arms around you, and when you opened your eyes slightly, for a moment, you swore you could see a change in him. He picked up the pace and when you caught a glimpse of those gorgeous eyes, it almost seemed like they had an animalistic hunger in them.

You didn’t have time to delve any deeper into that as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, lifting you up ever so slightly so he could have you as close as possible. A strained moan ripped itself from your throat as he thrust in and out of you faster and faster, going deeper and deeper until you couldn’t hold in your brewing rapture.

As you came and you steadily pulsated around him, practically milking him, silently begging for him to finish, Zhongli gasped, allowing a most erotic sound to leap from his mouth. He gently took hold of your chin and kissed you in the most wonderful way as you felt him twitch and fully surrender to his undying desire for you.

There was a moment in which you heard nothing but your own heartbeat. Your vision was blurry and as the man who had saved you embraced your form, you let out a breath. And with that single breath, you let go of all doubts, all your demons, all your worries. His warmth enveloped you, and you granted yourself this moment and allowed your raw emotions to run wild.

As Zhongli looked at you, his face quickly twisted in concern as she saw your tearful eyes and quivering lip. He swallowed nervously, immediately wondering if all of this was a mistake. Your expression was distant as if your mind was on an entirely different planet.

Before he had time to speak, your eyes shifted to him, and a content smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. You brought your hand to his cheek, silently assuring him of your newly found peace of mind. You kissed him tenderly, relishing the way he held you and pulled you to him.

There was a moment of silence as he caressed your bare back, wonder floating in his head. He had never felt like this. It was foreign and yet, it felt right.

You sighed against him, wondering how you had gotten so fortunate. You couldn’t help but smile widely, you didn’t remember the last time you felt this alleviated. Gone were the flashes or the dreadful thoughts, now you only felt a warmth in you, accompanied by undying gratefulness.

Zhongli’s expression was more stoic, as he thought about the night he had found you and the previous questions you had. Much of what he saw that night was unknown to you, and so, Zhongli opened his mouth:

“When I found you on that stormy night…”

Your smile fell ever so slightly and you glanced at him but allowed him to continue.

“You were not only unconscious but distressed. Out of it, even.”

Your eyebrows frowned in confusion. The details of that night had become a distant fog of a memory, much like anything else, yet for some reason, what he was saying seemed urgent, and concerning. As far as you knew, you had passed out, not in some state of psychosis. Your stomach churned and Zhongli noted your concerned expression.

“I did not want to worry you, that is why I am only bringing this up now. I… I am sure it’s nothing you should worry about now, but I feel like I have to let you know of this, for your own safety.”

What he was saying didn’t make much sense, but you knew it was out of the goodness of his heart. Still, uncertainty prickled in your side, what did he see that night?

“You were… Frightened, crying frantically and begging for help, yet you seemed to assume no one was coming to your aid.”

Zhongli did not take joy in remembering all of this. The image was haunting, you had been terrified despite not being entirely conscious and he had been unsure what to do. You had thrashed on the ground, curling up into a ball and perhaps most disturbingly-

“There was a name.” He looked at you and you felt a heavy dread in the pit of your stomach. “A name that fell from your lips over and over again…”

He fell silent, taking in your reaction. He did not want to distress you any further but felt a pressing need to tell you all of this.

“You asked me why I have helped you to this degree, and truthfully, I initially stayed by your side tirelessly to ensure that this person you were escaping from, wouldn’t come after you.”

Your eyes widened ever so slightly. So that was the reason. Zhongli was privy to the fact that you had been tormented by someone this entire time. Perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised you and admittedly, his reasoning made sense, so why was your heart racing?

“I apologize for my secrecy, but I did not want to cause you any more stress than you were already in-”

“What was the name?”

You spoke before you could think, and the question flew from your mouth almost unwillingly. You didn’t even know why you would ask that, was it because you had forgotten the name of your twisted lover? That couldn’t be it, could it? Despite most of his wretched face having become nothing but a faded picture, his name still lingered, much to your dismay. The name “Childe” was etched into your brain and yet, something about his name was foggy.

Zhongli’s face turned to you, and you looked right back at him, determination to hear this name obvious in your eyes, though you didn’t know why. Zhongli hesitated, unsure if revealing this name was for the best, seeing as something had clearly been triggered by this information.

Still, he took a deep breath and as soon as the words left his mouth, your face fell, your stomach turned, and your heart began to race. Suddenly, fragmented memories became whole again as you were once again reminded of a cruel fate you had been forced to endure.

All of this came back, only because you were reminded of the cruel monster’s name.

“Ajax.”

Support me on ko-fi!❤️

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #原神 #genshin impact childe #childe x reader #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli x reader smut #genshin impact zhongli #reader insert #not sfw #smut #fluff

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iamatinydinosaur · 9 months

Note

Hello! I really liked the wording of my application and thank you very much :DSomething I hadn't considered until I read it is thatThe brother reader will have unconsciously seen Ramón on a couple of occasions as a father figure since he was the only one who took care of the reader for 20 years. Thinking of Ramón as a “papá luchon” seems adorable to me (in my country we refer to single fathers and mothers who support their children with their own work, without any other presence to help them, therefore, they have to fight against the adversities) If possible, can you write something related to this topic about Ramón and the reader? (gender neutral)

🐾Branch🐾

Through the Years

You were 3 and Branch was 5 when Grandma died. It was just you two. You watched as your older brother lost his colors. You were so scared. Branch saw this and promised he would never let anything happen to you. You were all he had left. Grandma's death effected you a lot, just not to the extent that it effected Branch. You were afraid of everything, never wanting to leave Branch's side. He preferred this anyways.

You Age 7 and Branch age 9

You ran into the bunker crying. Branch ran into the main room. "Y/N what's wrong?!" He exclaimed seeing you covered in scratches, dirt and slightly bleeding. "I w-as col-lecting berries and some sp-id-ers attac-ked me." You hiccuped. Branch got a napkin and wiped your tears away. "I told you to wait for me before you went to go get the berries." He whispered grabbing a warm bowl of water with a rag and a first aid kit. He rung out the rag and started wiping the wet rag over your face to get rid of the dirt. "I wanted to surprise you and show I'm getting big and help you." You pouted, sniffling. "You do so much. Maybe if I helped more maybe your colors would come back..." You looked down. Branch's heart swelled. He kissed your forehead. You looked at him shocked. "You're growing up too quickly. Stop it." He said smiling as he cleaned your scrapes. You giggled.

You age 10 Branch age 12

Branch laughed. You had made a dance number to your favourite song. You wore a silly outfit and danced horribly. Branch knew he had to help your dancing ability. You stroked your ending pose.

Branch fell on the floor laughing his hardest. "Did you like it?!" You exclaimed jumping up and down. Branch wiped his tears getting up. "It was amazing. But let me help you improve the dancing. Your voice is amazing but your moves..." He teased. The rest of the day Branch showed you to do the moves better. This was the first time in 5 years you had seen him dance again. "Just like that see." He said turning to you. However, he froze seeing tears in your eyes. "What's wrong! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.!" He exclaimed hugging you. "No, no. You used to dance and sing all the time before Grandma... I just missed this." You mumbled hugging him.

You age 14 Branch age 16

It was Branch's 16th birthday. You had gotten up at 4. Branch gets up at 6 am everyday so you wanted his birthday breakfast ready before he got up. You had been practicing this breakfast for the past month after he's gone the bed to make sure it's perfect. It was about 5:55 when you had finished. You made for the both of you eggs Benedict, blueberry scones, fresh apple juice and bagels with an assortment of jams. "Morning Y/N, why are yo-" He stopped mid sentence when he saw the dining room table. His eyes watered and looked at you. "Happy Birthday Branch!"

You age 18 and Branch age 20

You layed on your bed, covers over your head. You sniffled. You had just got back from what was supposed to be your 1 year anniversary date with your partner. "Hey." Branch said softly holding two cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream. He placed them on your bedside table. You curled into a tighter ball. Branch sighed sitting on your bed. You slowly pulled the blanket off your face. Your cheeks were puffy, tear marks ran down your face and your eyes were bloodshot. "What happened?" He asked pulling your head onto his lap. "They broke up with me. They love someone else." You whispered burying your head into his stomach. This irked Branch. This low life scum hurting his baby sibling. "When I see this punk again I swear." He grumbled rubbing your back. This made you giggle slightly. "I made your favorite, hot chocolate." He whispered brushing your hair. You rolled over and sat up. You smiled taking it. You knew you'd always be able to count on your big brother.

A/N: I loved writing this. When I got this request I always thought Branch would only show you things he never did in the first movie (just not singing) I hope you like it!! ✨✨

#trolls band together #brozone #branch x sibling reader #branch trolls

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nyasiaaaaa · 1 year

Text

In the Bleak Mid-Winter

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Fem reader (Nurse) Fem reader x Arthur ( platonic) Fem reader x Micheal ( platonic )

Summary: This is a story about two people who become constants in each others lives, and eventually fall for each. While one learns to love again, the other learns the cost of loving a man like him.

Word count: 6.6k

Warnings: Cursing, blood, death, child birth, drinking, alcohol, talks of war, guns, Tommy Shelby ( If I missed anything or you think something should be added please tell me.) ( Also Y/N is on dick, IDKY she acts like this)

A/N: part 1 takes place during season two, part 2/3 season 3 and 4/5/6 season 4. This is a Slow burn there will be smut eventually.

There is month and week time just in here, this is the only part where I would do that cause I had a lot to fit in. Because I had a lot of fit in, I have to add another part so too much won’t be going on all in one part. Also this is bit of a filler for that time jump from the end of season two to the beginning of season three

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 part 6

*******************************************

Although you didn't see Thomas again for nearly a year, you knew he was there watching you, keeping tabs on you. You had seen Arthur more than you had seen Thomas; he'd often come in, all cut up and in need of stitching.

You still remember the first time you met Arthur; you were busy with a patient in one of the ER exam rooms when one of your fellow nurses slid back the curtain.

"Hi, excuse us. I need to borrow her for a second," She said, smiling towards the patient as she grabbed your arms, pulling you out and sliding the curtain back.

"What"

"You've been asked for by name, exam room three. I'll take over here."

"Why, what's going on”You asked confused.

She shrugged her shoulders,

"All I know is that it's a peaky fellow, a Shelby, to be exact."

She went back into the exam room, but you stood still. Thomas, he's here to see you? You were confused, if he wanted to meet, he could've just come to your apartment; he did know where you lived.

Then it clicked ,he's hurt again; he has to be.

You turned and started to walk down the hall towards the third exam room. Walked…. ran the same thing.

Soon, you were standing in front of the curtain to exam room three. You took a deep breath as you smoothed your outfit out.

You don't know why you were so nervous to see him; you felt kinda silly; you had literally performed surgery on this man and dressed him.

You shook your head, then quickly pulled back the curtain before you could change your mind.

You’re puzzled because the man sitting in front of you is not Thomas Shelby.

"Hi," you drew out, unsure who this man was and what he wanted with you.

"Oi, you the girl that took care of Tommy when he was here?" he asked, all chipper despite his ear being split, cuts on his face, and blood being littered all over his body.

You shook your head slowly, still unsure where this was going

"Tommy sent me here to get patched up; he said you were, uh, sympathetic to the cause." That made you laugh a bit

"I guess I am; let's see what's going on here, Mr.Shelby." You stepped into the room, closed the curtain behind you, and went to the table to find some gloves.

"It's Arthur"

"Oh, Arthur, and who is Thomas to you again?"

You pulled the stool underneath you as you began to clean the cuts on his face with some wipes.

"He's my brother; I'm the oldest, then Tommy, and then John, and last Finn."

You made a face; you didn't know Thomas had a brother, let alone three; in all the stories you heard about Peaky Blinders, only Thomas had been brought up.

You continued to clean Arthur up, and as you did so, you asked a million questions like where they grew up, how old they were, and how betting even worked.

You have learned so much from Arthur in the past 30 minutes about the business and Thomas than you would have ever thought.

Arthur was so talkative, he answered all your questions, he honestly was a bit too happy, you had assumed he was on something but wasn't sure.

He had just gotten done telling you a story about when he and Tommy were younger when you finished his last stitch.

"It sounds like loads of fun," you said, cutting the string to the last stitch.

"Yeah, it was different back then; Tommy was different back then. "

You had wanted to ask what he meant, but he had gotten up before you could. He walked over to the mirror to look at his face; as he did so, you pulled some cream out of the draw for him.

"Here, make sure you put this cream on so you won't scar."

"Ahhh, thanks, Doc; Tommy told us whenever we need fixin' to come to you, and you didn't disappoint."

"And how is Tommy? Is he all healed up?" Part of you just wanted to say his nickname out loud, and another hoped that Arthur would continue his over-sharing streak.

"Yeah, all good; you know our Tommy strong as a horse," He said before walking away.

You smiled and waved to him, watching him walk away. Our Tommy that made you giggle and smile like an idiot. You started to clean up your mess and wipe stuff down when you suddenly stopped, and your smile dropped.

It had just dawned on you, but It was too late; he was far too gone when you realized. What did he mean by Tommy told us whenever they needed fixin' to come to you. You were hoping it didn't mean what you had thought, but it did.

To say you were overworked was an understatement; you couldn't have imagined first how many men were peaky blinders and second how often they got hurt.

Every time you turned around, your patient was a peaky boy, saying Tommy had sent them to get fixed up. Some of these men came into the hospital standing even though they had cuts the size of your arm on their bodies. They were bleeding out, but they remained calm like it was just another Tuesday, and soon, so did you because eventually, it was just another Tuesday.

You and Arthur became close; you would even say you became friends. You saw him often; either he was in for himself, getting more stitches, or he was dropping off a person to get help. And on those sad, rare days, he was picking up a body, someone you couldn't save.

You and Arthur talked a lot about everything and anything; you felt like his priest with the kind of things he confessed to you. How he felt the business was going, how he was still messed up from the war, how lonely he was.

On those days, you would just listen to him talk and give him a hug after; you knew he needed it. Your relationship truly felt like brother and sister, and you couldn't have been more happy about it, seeing as you are an only child.

Arthur and Thomas were the only Shelby brothers you had the pleasure of meeting. Polly and Ada, you have not, but Arthur said you shouldn't because they don't get involved in dirty business. Finn was far too young; he often just hung back, and Micheal Polly's son only handled legitimate business.

So you were pretty shocked when you had been requested, and Michael Gray was behind the curtain.

"You the peaky doc."

"I am." You had tried to tell the boys that you were only a nurse, but none of them listed, so you just accepted the nickname.

He nodded and started to take his shirt off; he had bruises and cuts all over his body. One big cut on his stomach and one on his forehead; that's the ones you will be focusing on. You put your gloves on and got to work; you cleaned the cut on his stomach a bit before starting your stitches.

Your head was down the whole time you stitched him, but you still knew he was staring at you; you felt it, and the way he looked down at you made you slightly uncomfortable.

Once you finished the stitches, you stood up from the stool, making you come face to face with him.

His eyes were quite different from Tommy's; you didn't know yet if it was in a good way or bad.

He cocked his head to the side as he looked at you, then looked down at your name tag before looking back up at you.

"Can I smoke in here?"

"Sure, and do you mind if I stand right here? It's the only way I can reach," you said, pointing to in between his legs.

He took a long drag of his cig before responding, "Whatever you want, doc."

Even from this position, you had to stand on your toes; he was pretty tall. You were pulling a stitch through when you almost fell, but Micheal had placed his hand on your back, keeping you upright.

You cleared your throat. "Thanks"

He just nodded at you with his hand still on your back

"Tommy pays your rent, right? I've seen your name in the books."

"Yeah"

"I always had thought he did that cause you to stitch the boys up with no questions asked and no coppers involved."

You just smiled back, unsure what to say

"But now I'm not so sure."

"What do you mean"

At this point, you were on your last couple of stitches

"You have your own protection detail; he sends his most important men to you, and he pays your rent."

You knew about the rent and never paid much mind to why Tommy started sending his men; you'd just assumed that it was your payment for free rent. A protection detail, though, you were confused; Micheal had to be mistaken. You'd never seen anyone following you, or maybe that was the point.

You tied the thread before cutting it, all while Micheal's hand remained behind your back; you looked down at him and asked.

"Why"

He shrugged his shoulders, taking one last drag before putting the cig out on the tray behind you.

He blew his smoke to the side before saying, "Tommy takes care of his own; he protects what's his."

You were stunned, but Micheal didn't allow you to process. He stood up, putting on his shirt before walking towards the door.

"Thanks, doc," he yelled as he left

You smiled and nodded back before turning around and cleaning up.

Had you really made that much of an impression on Tommy, you were confused and stuck, your mind racing to solve this riddle. If you had left such an impression, why hadn't you seen him in weeks? Not even so much as flowers or Arthur playing playing messenger, nothing. Micheal had to be wrong.

But what if he wasn't? What angle was Tommy playing? What was his end goal?

Your head was starting to hurt, maybe cause you were tired or cause your brain had been overworked trying to figure out what this man wanted from you. You decide to go back to work cause, whatever was happening, you wouldn't figure it out.

*******************************************

It had been a little over nine months after your visit from Micheal that you saw Tommy again.

You had been requested at his house, Arthur came and got you. This house wasn't in Birmingham it was nice and big, a mansion. You knew why you were here. Arthur had been keeping you up to date with all the Tommy and Grace drama. After Arthur told you about Grace and her and Tommy's Past and present, you knew that Micheal was wrong.

He couldn't have been more wrong cause here you are, arriving at Tommy's house about to see him for the first time in a year to help deliver his baby.

"There already a doctor there, you say," you asked Arthur as he helped you out of the car.

"Yes, Tommy said he still wants you there, though."

You didn't understand why you had to be there if a doctor was already there, someone who has had more schooling than you and should hold more knowledge.

Arthur had led you through the house, at first he got lost, it was a big house, but soon he found his way and plus it wasn't hard you just followed the screams and cursing.

You should have braced yourself before entering the room, but you had thought you would be fine; you weren't.

As soon as you opened the door, all eyes were on you, including Tommy's, his eyes which you hadn't seen in so long; they were so intense.

He was standing next to Grace, who was lying on the bed; he was holding her hand, blood smeared on his shirt. Two women were on the opposite side of him next to Grace, two women you assumed to be Polly and Esme.

You kind of just stood there, unsure of what to do and a bit scared. Grace's head popped from behind the doctor who stood in between her propped-up legs.

"Arthur, would you shut the door" Grace yelled

He laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't see anything, Tommy; go on, Doc." He gave you a push as he shut the door.

"Umm, where can I help?" you asked, and it was clear that you were nervous, but you hoped they thought it was because of the situation and not because of what it actually was, Tommy.

"The doctor is saying the baby is trying to come out feet first and that he must cut her open. Polly and Esme say that the baby can be turned, and if she is cut, she will bleed out." Thomas said as he rubbed his face; he was trying to hide it, but you could tell he was nervous.

"OK, OK, OK, Excuse me, I need to assess Grace to see which option is better." You placed your bag down and pulled out some gloves before approaching Grace.

"OK, Grace, I'm just going to see where the baby is at," You said as you reached up in her cervix, checking for the baby, and it was trying to come out feet first. You pulled out of her before speaking again.

"OK, Grace, the baby is coming feet first, but it's still far up, so I think we have a good chance at turning it around. It will be painful, but it's better than cutting you open and risking you bleeding out."

"Well, I can't do that, and I still believe that a c-section is the way to go; I've done many and have had many successes." The doctor tried to argue, but you knew that the risk of her bleeding out was higher than her not.

"I can do it. Trust me, Grace, I can do it."

"Are you even a doctor?" the doctor asked.

"No, but that doesn't matter. Grace, what do you want."

Graces looked between you and the doctor before looking up at Thomas, who was looking at you. And for the first time since you stepped into this room, you looked at him in the eyes. You nodded slightly, telling him you had this; he stared at you a little longer before telling you to go ahead.

You got right to work pushing on Grace's stomach, pushing the baby's head, and slowly turning the baby. She screamed in pain, and Thomas held her hand, encoring her along; after 30 minutes, you finally got the baby in the correct position. You would’ve let Grace take a much-needed break, but she said she felt the need to push and couldn't hold back.

"OK, Grace, that's fine. Push." You got back between her legs and sat on the stool at her feet.

It only took two pushes, and the baby was out, but It wasn't breathing; you panicked, and everyone looked at you scared. Except for Thomas, he looked at you in a way you can't describe as anything other than murderous.

You held the baby in your hands, quickly walking over to the dresser and placing the baby down before grabbing the suction ball from your bag below you. You sucked the goo from the baby's mouth and throat and ran your knuckles across his chest.

The baby still didn't cry out, and you were nervous. Had you pushed on its head too hard? You had never done it yourself, only seen it done, but-

The baby coughed and let out a cry; relief flooded your body, and tears slipped from your eyes. You cleaned the baby before turning around and walking over to Thomas.

"Here you go, Mr.Shelby, a beautiful, healthy baby boy."

For the first time ever, you saw Tommy smile, like a full ear-to-ear smile, as you handed him his son. You smiled to yourself before stepping away and collecting your things. You looked at the doctor who stood in the corner, flipping him off before saying.

"You can handle the rest, right, or do you need help with that too?"

He rolled his eyes at you before walking to Grace to clean her up.

You opened the door and saw Michael, Arthur, who you assumed to be John and Finn, and many more waiting outside the door.

"Grace is fine."

"And," Arthur asked.

"And it's a- "

"It's a boy," Thomas said, interrupting you, you turned around, and he was standing right behind you.

"Congratulations," You said to Tommy.

"Thank you," he said back before he got rushed with a bunch of hugs.

You went down the steps, deciding to wait for Arthur outside, and truth be told, you needed some air not only because of Tommy but also because that was the most ballsy thing you had ever done in your career. You just delivered a baby, all on your own.

You weren't waiting on the steps outside long when you heard the door open, and you stood up, brushing the dirt off yourself, slowly turning around.

"I thought you had gotten lost again. Arthur thought I had to come to find yo-"You stopped your sentence abruptly, seeing as Arthur wasn't the one standing in front of you.

"Micheal, where's Arthur?"

"I had asked him if it was alright if I took you home."

"Oh, OK, let's go," You said before hopping in the car, with Micheal right behind you, sliding next to you in the driver's seat.

The drive back was quiet, and soon you were back at your house; you hopped out of the car and walked towards your apartment building, Micheal right behind you.

"You don't have to walk me to my door, Micheal; I'll be fine."

"Who am I to defy orders?"

That made you stop and turn towards him.

"You’re wrong, Tommy's with Grace. We're friends; he has no feeling like that towards me."

"You sure about that"

"I just delivered his baby, Micheal."

"Exactly," he said, then turned around and left.

You walked into your building and up the steps to your apartment; you stood at the door searching for your keys and became frustrated when you couldn't find them. You threw your bag at the door, making everything fall and spill across the floor.

You took a deep breath before squatting down, picking everything up, and putting them back; your keys had also been on the ground. You grabbed them and unlocked the door, walking in and shutting it behind you.

You walk over to your bed and jump in it; you don't even have the energy to change. You were so tired, and your head hurt trying to figure out what Micheal got from playing with your head like this.

You wouldn't even let yourself go down the guessing road; he was with Grace, and that was final. They were apart and came back stronger than ever; their love was fairy-tale-like.

You couldn't help yourself, though; a small part of you still thought,

What if.

********************************

Months have passed since you last seen Tommy since you delivered his baby. You haven’t seen him, but you know he was keeping tabs on you. You also started to see Arthur less; he was a changed man so he says. He met a new dime, Linda. You’re not going to lie, you don’t like the bitch, but Arthur does, and seeing as he has stopped the fighting, drinking, and even snow, you’ve decided to let it go.

You still see peaky boys, though; they have become a part of your day-to-day life. You can’t remember the last time you had a regular patient or even a day off. And you needed a day off, you barely sleep cause of all the doubles you’ve been pulling at the hospital, and you never go out anymore. You honestly don’t remember the last time you got laid.

It’s been a while.

So that’s why you decided to take the day off and to take up one of the doctors at the hospital's offer to go out.

You honestly didn’t care where the doctor took you or what y’all talked about; you had one goal tonight: getting laid.

You were ready to go out, sitting at your kitchen table bucking your shoes, when you heard a knock on your door. He was early, but you were ready, so it was fine. You walked over to the door, a smile taking over your face. You opened the door and were immediately pushed out of the way as someone invited themselves into your home.

“ Um, excuse me,” you said, turning around to meet the stranger.

Only it wasn’t a stranger. It was Tommy

And he wasn’t alone; he had his son in his arms.

“What's wrong?” You asked, rushing over to them.

“ he fell. I was changing him, and he fell, and he cried and cried, but then he just stopped.” He was pacing your living room with the baby still in his arms.

You slowly approached him.

“ It’s ok, Tommy, babies aren’t glass, ok. Every kid has been dropped on their head, I’d reckon Arthur, more than once.”

You got him to stop pacing with your words, but he still held the baby in a death grip.

“ Let me see him, Tommy; everything going to be fine, just let me see him.” You spoke as softly as you could as you stood before him, placing your hand on his shoulder.

He looked up from the baby to look at you; you nodded as you placed your hands under his to take the baby from his hands. He slowly let go of the baby, releasing him to you. Once you fully secured the baby, you held him close as you walked over to your med bag at home. You fetched out your stethoscope and put it on before listening to the baby’s heart rate and breathing; you then checked his pupil reaction with your small flashlight.

The baby seemed fine; Tommy probably put the baby to sleep by rocking it for so long, that’s why it probably stopped crying.

“ Your baby’s fine, no signs of brain damage; he is just sleeping. That’s why he stopped crying,” you said, walking back over to him, and handing him back his baby.

You could see his body ease up slowly as he rocked the baby back and forth.

“ Did you drive here, or” you trailed off

“ Yeah, but my car ran out of petrol; I’ve sent Curly to get me some more.”

You nodded slowly; you weren’t sure what you were supposed to do next.

“ Do you have a quiet place where I can put him down?”

“ Yes, my bedroom, it's over there,” You say, pointing towards the back of the room.

Tommy walks back towards your room, and you just stand there, uncertain what to do in your own home. He came back soon and started to head towards a seat in your living room and to make things less awkward, you took a seat across from him in the other chair.

“ Can I smoke in here?”

You nodded to his question; he pulled out his cigarette holder and took one before offering you one.

“ Oh no, I don’t smoke,” you said, making him make a face.

“ I only smoked that one time cause I was a bit stressed.”

He just nodded at you, lighting up his cig and taking a drag, and y’all just sat there; honestly, how long does it take to get some petrol. You couldn’t be this still any longer. You had to get up.

“ Would you like something to drink?” You asked, walking over to your drink table.” Whiskey fine?” you asked, even though you knew that’s all he drank

You turned back to see him nodding his head, so you continued to ask, “ Brown or white?”

“ Brown”

You poured the both of you a cup, filling yours up a bit more than his; you would need the whole bottle if he stayed any longer. You walked over to him, handing him his cup before sitting back in your seat. The silence followed again shortly after, and it was killing you; he had finished his cig, and you had finished your glass; you were seriously thinking about getting that petrol yourself.

“ You were a nurse in the war? “ Tommy asked, pointing towards your medals on the shelf above your fireplace.

“ Yes, I was stationed in France, you? “

You already knew the answer, though, cause of Arthur

“ Yep, I was in France, tunneler.” he finished his drink before continuing, “You kept your medals?”

Even though he didn’t phrase it like a question, you still knew he was asking why you had kept them.

This question caught you slightly off guard, but you knew most people around here threw theirs into the cut as a fuck you to the king for the way they were treated when they got back.

“ You mean, why didn’t I throw them in the cut like everyone else?” You asked as you got up, getting his cup and you for a much-needed refill. “ I don’t see them like how you might; I see them as my team telling me good job and not the king. My team nominated me for the medal, not the king.”

He nodded, slowly taking his drink back and sipping before asking you another question.

“ And the war,” he cleared his throat, “is it still with you.”

You didn’t know why he was asking you all these questions, but you didn’t mind answering them. The more you talked about your experience, the easier it was to continue your life and leave the war in the past.

“ Honestly, there must be something wrong with my brain because no matter how hard I try to think back, I can’t remember half of the things that happened.” You let out a slight chuckle as you spoke.

“Nothing, eh?”

“ Well, not nothing; I remember why I was nominated for that medal.” You paused, unsure if you should tell this story. Men like Tommy don’t often reminisce about their time in France. But Tommy tipped his glass towards you, encouraging you along.

“ Ok, umm, my group and I had been relocated closer to the battlefield; we were located where fighting had taken place and tunnels dug. So there were a lot of caved-in holes and shells everywhere, but they said they had swept the area, and there were no bombs or anything. Nightfall came, and we were all set up; everyone but the guards were asleep. I couldn’t, though; I could hear the fighting going on in the distance. And even though it was really dumb, I went for a walk. I just couldn’t keep still and didn’t want to wake up the others.”

You looked down and realized that you had finished your drink, so you got up to get some more; you went over to the drink table but didn’t pour anything. Instead, you just leaned against it before turning back to face Thomas.

“ I was walking, and um, I tripped, fell right on my face. I had dropped my flashlight, hitting the ground must have turned it off. So I reached around looking for it, and that was when I touched something, but it wasn’t my flashlight; it was my hand. I panicked and backed up as quickly as possible and ended up finding my flashlight. I quickly turned it on and saw a hand sticking up from the mud, almost like it had broken through. I was trying to calm myself down when I saw the hand twitch; I had assumed the guy was dead. Next thing I know, I’m on my hands and knees digging through the dirt, and it seemed like no matter how fast and hard I dug, dirt kept refilling up the hole.” Tears started falling from your cheek, but you wiped them quickly, not wanting to cry in front of Tommy.

“ I uhh eventually was able to dig his head out, then shoulders and then I was able to pull him out, he wasn’t breathing, so I began CPR and mouth to mouth, the mud got all in my mouth cause his face was caked with it, but I didn’t care. Finally, after five minutes, he began coughing and gasping for air; I pulled him up into my lap, propping him up a bit, hoping that would help. Then he opened his eyes. He had tried to speak, but he just kept saying the same thing over and over again; he wasn’t making any sense. I told him he should save his strength, which made him quiet down. And so we just laid there for a bit, with him in my lap holding onto my arms; he just looked at me, and I looked at him. He eventually remembered that other men were still down in the tunnels, and thankfully, the tunnel hadn’t fully clasped. Together, we dug them out and helped them back to camp. They were all too badly injured for us to help, so they were driven to the nearest hospital.”

You had walked over to Thomas, picking up his cigarette holder, taking one, and lighting it up. Tommy took notice but didn’t say anything.

“ Soon after I was nominated for the award, the soldiers I had saved and the nurse in my unit nominated me. And the rest is history.” You took a couple more puffs of the cig before putting it out on the table since you didn’t have an ashtray.

Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but there was a knock at the door; you walked over to it, opened it, and was greeted by Curly.

“ Tommy, I’ve got the petrol for you and filled your car; it's all ready to go.”

You turned to face him, smiling, before heading to your room to pick up the baby. You brought the baby out to Thomas, placing him in his hands.

“ Welp, this has been fun, but I’m tired, and this little one needs to get home. See you, Tommy.”

He said your name, tilting his head down before leaving your apartment.

You have never told that story to anyone before; it brought up a lot of emotions, more than you expected. It had felt good telling that story, though, especially with a person who also served, who might have understood where you were coming from.

You had washed up and changed your clothes; the Whiskey made your eyes feel heavy, and you practically had to drag yourself to bed. You did make it, though. You got under the covers all warm and cozy, and you were about to fall asleep when you suddenly realized,

You never went on your date.

********************

You wish you could say the next time you saw, Tommy was as pleasant as the last.

You had a late shift at the hospital tonight.

You walked into the hospital late, around 8:00 p.m. The air felt good, and you had been inside all day at home, so you decided to walk to work; it wasn’t far. You had run into a friend at the door and were walking in together. She was talking to you about her lazy husband, but as soon as you entered the hospital, you had tuned her out. You heard a voice screaming in the distance; you knew that voice. You started running in the direction the voice was coming from, leaving your friend without a goodbye.

It felt like you were running in slow motion; the hallway was getting longer and longer, and you thought you would never get to the end.

When you finally reached the end, you stopped and scanned the room. Tommy was being held back by multiple guards and doctors, Polly and Linda were screaming at the nurses, Arthur had been pressed to the floor, and John was against the wall.

“ Mr.Shelby, if you don’t calm down, we will have to put you out,” one of the nurses said, trying to get him to calm down, but that only made him more mad.

The nurse screamed as Tommy held a gun to her face. “ I’m sorry, what was that? hmm”

You had rushed over, placing yourself in between the gun and the nurse,

“ Tommy, Tommy, look at me. What's wrong? Tell me how I can help.”

His breath was coming out shaking. He waved the gun to the side, trying to tell you to move, but you didn’t; he did it again, and you still didn’t move.

“ Move!” he yelled.

“ No, Tommy, what’s wrong?”

He yelled out in frustration, then put the gun back in his holder. He turned around walking away from you, putting his hands on top of his head.

“ Talk to me, please, Tommy.” You begged

You blinked and suddenly he was in your face, he was so close you could feel his breath on your face. He squatted down to your eye level before pointing his arm out in no particular direction, his mouth opened and closed, as he struggled to find the words.

“ Them fuckers shot Grace, and now these doctors won’t let me see her.”

“ Ok, I will go check on her, okay, but you can’t threaten them; they’re just doing their job.”

“ Ok, Tommy,” he nodded slowly back at you.

“ Ok,” he whispered.

You turned to the nurse you had protected earlier.

“ Take them to a private waiting room, please.” She nodded, whispering a small thank you as you walked towards the surgical wing. You were about to walk through the door when you had been tugged back; it was Tommy.

“ I got her, Tommy, I promise.” He squeezed your hand before letting go.

You pushed through the door to the surgical wing and started to run; you weren’t sure which room she was in, so you checked every single one, busting through the door and looking at the person on the table. You have reached the last surgery room with no luck so far. Grace had to be in this room; it was the last one. You opened the door, saying a slight prayer.

“ Time of death 10:55”

You tried to talk, but the words got trapped in your throat; you felt it sitting there, causing your throat to burn as you struggled to breathe. Tears began falling down your face as you fell against the wall, feeling too weak to stand alone. This wasn’t supposed to happen; this isn’t how things were supposed to go.

“ No,” you sobbed out.

“ No, no, no, no, no, what did you do?” you screamed at the Doctor.

You pushed yourself off the wall, walking over to Grace; you touched her arm, and she was still warm. You looked up at the Doctor; it was Dr.Brown.

“ What did you do? The shot was to the fucking shoulder; what - did - you - do”

He just stared at you, not answering you. You looked around the room, and everyone was staring at you. You went around the table and pushed Dr.Brown against the wall; you didn’t know what you were doing; you didn’t know what you wanted from him.

“ Do you think you could tell Thomas for me?” his voice was shaky.

You let go of him, walking backward. You stared at him in disgust, and then you started to laugh.

It was an eerie laugh; you were practically choking on it. You wiped the tears and snot from your face with the back of your hands.

“You want me to tell him that you killed his wife because you don’t want him to smell the alcohol on your breath 'cause you want to live right.”

The Doctor stared at you with his mouth gaping open like a fish; you even saw his eyes start to fill up with tears.

“ Oh, don’t worry, I’ll tell him, and when he’s in the right mind, I’ll tell him that you’re a drunk and you killed his wife.”

You walked out before he could spill some bullshit to you.

You wanted to walk slowly and drag your feet, but you knew better.

You’ve lost patients before and family, but it didn’t feel like this. You’ve never felt like this; you never felt so responsible for someone's death.

You know that there was no way you could have stopped it, and there was no way you could have known. But what if, what if you called a taxi instead of walking? What if you told the police about the Doctor's drinking. So many moments played through your head, so many moments you wished you changed because somehow this feels like your fault. You knew that. Dr. Brown was a drunk; you should have fought harder with the hospital board. You should’ve-

You stopped cause; deep down, you knew there was nothing you could have done. There is no way you could have saved Grace.

You approached the private waiting room and stood there for a second to gather yourself. This death isn’t yours to cry for; it’s theirs. You wiped your tears and snot on your shirt; you cleared your throat and took a deep breath.

You pushed open the door and entered the room; they all stood when you entered, except for Tommy, who already standing cause he had been pacing. You looked around the room. Every single person's eyes were on you, waiting for you to speak; it was so quiet, no one made a sound.

“ So,” Tommy’s voice cracked as he spoke.

You took a deep breath before you tried to speak, and you tried, you really did, but you couldn’t keep it together. A sob left your mouth before you could stop it.

This caused Polly to bring her hand to her mouth as she fought back her tears.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before trying again.

“ I’m s-so sorry, Tommy; when I got there, she was already gone. There was nothing I could do.” Your voice grew horse as you spoke, and your throat burned as your fought back tears.

“No,” he whispered.

“ Tommy”

“NO!” he shouted before throwing the chair across the room.

Polly started telling everyone to get out and give him some space, but you stayed. You knew the last thing he needed was to be alone with his thoughts.

Everyone had left, and it was just you two alone.

He had stopped throwing things and rested his head against the wall.

“ Get out”

“ No,” you said, walking over to him,

You had placed your hand on his shoulder, but it was only for a second cause soon he had flipped you, and now you were against the wall. He held a tight grip on your shoulders, keeping you bound to the wall. His eyes started directly into yours, and even though he appeared mad, his eyes showed he was hurt.

He pushed you deeper into the wall. “Why didn’t you save her?” You heard the pain in his voice as he spoke. “You saved me; you brought me back to life; why couldn’t you save her? Why couldn’t you bring her back.” He whispered out

You just stared at him; you were speechless.

Then it finally happened: he broke down; you put your arms around him as he slowly fell to the ground, with you falling with him.

You held him in your arms as he cried; his grip on your arms kept tightening as if you would let him go. You hadn’t planned on it; you would hold him till he asked you to let go. You’d lay here as he slept if he needed you to.

He needed you, and you were going to be there for him.

#cillian murphy #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #peaky blinders #tommy shelby fanfic #thomas shelby fanfic #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #michael gray #polly gray #ada shelby #thomas shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x y/n

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cher-rei · 6 months

Text

afterglow- pt 7 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter is privileged with working alongside the liverpool fc marketing and public relations team, while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, workplace romance, fluff

[wc: 4.6k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

notes: it's the way that I've hinted at another fic in this chapter and then another one in chapter 8... I love interconnecting my series' ughhh

spamjam._. added to their story!

"here's one for you," jude spoke from his position on the hotel suite couch to gain your attention as you unpacked your things. "bro went from liking her posts to flying her over just for some moral support."

you rolled your eyes as he read out the tweets which he had been enjoying for the past ten minutes now. the way that twitter was rioting over the situation was utterly amusing— from your post on Instagram to jude stating that you were sharing a hotel room. they were having a blast by coming up with theories as to how this even came about.

yes, jude only happened to follow you on instragram at the beginning of the year but that was not the reason you knew each other at all. if it were then this situation would be very awkward. as he would say, "luckily for you, you had the privilege of knowing me before I became the equivalent to ryan gosling."

you wouldn't exactly call it a privilege but whatever made him sleep at night. funny enough, you two met at a football match when you were still in high school. it was strange to see a 17-year-old actively engage in conversation with some random 14-year-old just because he said she was screaming too much.

that wasn't the last of your accidental meetings, however, the next was a few weeks later when your parents invited some friends over from birmingham— and lo and behold who just happened to be the son of those friends.

so here you were at 20 and 23, closer than ever but keeping it as low-key as possible.

you proceeded to listen to jude comment on each tweet, each one funnier than the last. "I swear some of these people have got to be fbi trained." he shook his head and you hummed in response, nearly jumping up when jude yelled out in shock.

"listen to this one," he turned from his position on the couch to look at you in front of the bed. "in early 2023, jude followed jamie back on Instagram and 6 months later she got her job as liverpool's p.r manager. hours later after the announcement the entire squad followed her back, the first of them being trent. jamie and trent have been seen together a lot from then on and she's even tagged him in multiple of her Instagram stories. now what do we know about trent? he plays for england. who else plays for england? jude. where is jamie right now? in barcelona with jude."

you were left dumbfounded, jude staring at you with his eyes wide and obviously impressed. "well that's one way to connect the dots I guess." you shrugged your shoulders, "they're not wrong but they're not quite right either."

a scoff left jude's mouth and he got up from the couch to look out the ceiling-to-floor window looking out at the city. "trent's not the middleman here though. like dude you and I aren't dating so there's no need."

he was right, there was no need for a middleman. it was just pure coincidence but obviously people wouldn't think of it like that. "and I thank the lord for that every single day."

he pulled a face, "stop being dramatic. I'm not that bad and you know it."

you hummed out in debate, getting your things so you could go and shower. "I mean judging by your lack of female interaction--"

before you could finish a pillow was hurled straight at you causing you to yelp out, getting ready to days for the bathroom before he could throw another.

"I talk to woman!" he yelled out after you and you laughed a little louder than intended which prompted him to get another pillow.

"female reporters don't count jude!"

you slammed the bathroom door shut just as he threw the pillow again, a loud thud echoing through the room before it dropped to the floor along with jude's hands. he huffed out in frustration, complaining for a good few minutes before he came to a conclusion that made you double over in laughter.

"just for that, I'll be keeping my eye out for interns from now on! if I marry a reporter one day I'll make sure not to invite you just out spite!"

your first morning in barcelona consisted of nothing but peace. the view you woke up to was breathtaking, definitely the most beautiful sunrise you had ever seen. you took your time getting ready before breakfast and made sure to put together the best outfit you could manage seeing as it was rare that you got to wear summer attire.

jude shot you the most confused look to date when he saw your top. he hit you with the "woman stopped wearing corsets decades ago so I'm a bit confused as to why you're torturing yourself right now."

it took a bit to explain to him that you weren't suffering at all, but he still didn't understand and left it at that so the two of you could head to a restaurant for breakfast. every step you took your eye was caught by something more beautiful than the last, your heart strings tugging in the summer heat.

"I've made up my mind. I'm coming to visit you every three months."

jude didn't oppose the idea and instead encouraged it, saying that he needed a bit more company. everything was recorded, you had your phone out and your camera for double the footage, talking to the camera as you carried on with your day.

"do you really have to film everything?" jude asked from across your table at the outdoor seating area of the restaurant as you waited for your breakfast.

you made a sound at the back of your throat and continued to go through the footage you had so far. "unlike you, I have a social media presence and people enjoy the content that I put out okay?"

"uh huh." his eyes wandered over you silently until he was told to check your instagram story, and of course he reposted it being the absolutely amazing friend he was and not because he was in any way forced to do it...

spamjam._. added to their story!

"I don't think anyone understands how crazy it is to hear jude speak in spanish so casually." you turned your camera to look at jude opposite you, adorning an expression of offence.

you suppressed a smile. "this is the same boy who asked me if 'lethargic' was an actual word or if I made it up by the way."

that hit a nerve for him and he put down his fork, and pointed a finger at you while explaining the pointlessness of the word and just how stupid it was. "who uses the word lethargic jamie?" he raised his hands waiting for an answer.

your laugh could be heard behind the camera, obvious judgement in your tone as you teased him. "people who have a vocabulary level that exceeds year 6."

jude shot you an 'oh really look' clearly not buying your reasoning. "just say that you're tired," he grew a bit more defensive and you tried to speak over him but he continued on. "it's never that deep."

you laughed again, telling him that he literally just proved your point. you could feel the stares that you were getting from people passing by— just trying to enjoy their peaceful thursday morning without two idiots arguing about words.

the banter went on for a bit, the camera now set on the edge of the table so that both you and jude were in the frame, tension heightened as you debated. he shrugged his shoulders eventually, "lethargic is not that big of a word either. it's just unnecessary--"

your eyebrows raised, "--oh really?"

he nodded in confirmation, as to say that it was obvious and that he wasn't an idiot. so you did the only correct thing at the moment which brought a wave of nostalgia to wash over jude who couldn't help but laugh.

"spell lethargic then."

he hesitated for a moment, wondering if you were being serious. "go on then, prove me wrong." you urged him, and obviously, he took up the challenge because jude bellingham was not a quitter.

"L I--"

you cut him off with a proud smile, "wrong!"

"L A--"

"wrong!"

by now jude was dumbfounded, immediately reaching out for his cellphone to google the absurd word only to find out that it was spelt with an E. you hummed happily as he complained once again, saying that spelling it with an E didn't make any sense.

"jude victor william bellingham," you began with a smile and he shook his head. "one of real madrid and england's star players at the age of 20 yet he can't spell 'lethargic'."

the rest of the day played out smoothly— sightseeing, shopping till jude's entire backseat was covered in bags, a trip to the beach and using jude as your personal photographer and videographer. now that was what you called a vacation.

the last stop the two of you were going to make would be a small picnic to wrap up the evening seeing as jude would be at practice all-day tomorrow before the match later that evening. either way you wouldn't be alone because jobe would be flying down the morning, so you were more than excited to pick him up at the airport.

your picnic blanket was set down on the grass at a park, and once again the scenery had you gawking. the sunset was to die for, the atmosphere was chirpy yet peaceful and in all honesty if this was your last moment alive you wouldn't have any regrets.

you let out a content sigh, "if this is what being a wag is like then I might have to hit up victoria beckham for some pointers."

jude let out a laugh from beside you, watching silently as you pointed your vlog camera to the sky— moving it from side to side as you took in the scenery.

"I mean you have some good candidates, and you're already in the industry so it's just up to you." he nudged you on the shoulder. "make the move jamie."

a sigh escaped your lips at the fact that he was right. everything was played out in your favour and you needed to use it to your advantage. "I'll dm colwill when we get back to the hotel."

jude doubled over in laughter at your comment but you kept your attention on your camera, settling it down in front of the both of you. "he's younger than you."

you shrugged your shoulders to dismiss his note. "age is just a number or something."

that made you both smile but for two completely different reasons. jude found it funny whereas you were washed with an unfamiliar feeling, your mind flashing back to yours and trent's midnight mcdonald's run when he said the exact same thing.

that remembrance made you keep a mental note to call him later, just to see how things were holding up on that side.

the conversation picked up again when you shut off your camera. and of course, it took the emotional route at the hour of vulnerability. it hopped from family to work to comfortability in your respective situations in a matter of seconds.

it was nice for jude to have this time to talk about stuff like this, you knew he appreciated moments like this where he could express himself more freely without a language barrier or slight anxiety.

when he first left for madrid you remembered the five-hour conversation you had over the phone because he couldn't fall asleep, too unsure and unfamiliar with his surroundings to be able to settle in. with that, you made sure to check up on him daily before bed.

time zones didn't stop you and never would, especially with someone you considered family. jude and jobe were easily younger brothers to you— jude being the irritating younger brother who acted as if he were older than you and jobe being the sweet younger brother that needed constant affection.

you cared for them both dearly, making time to see each other whenever you could when you schedules were free.

"so you found the apartment?" jude asked and popped a grape into his mouth while he listened to you talk about your move out of your sister's house.

maya and noah were moving to london at the beginning of next year, which just so happened to be two months from now. which honestly was a great idea and you were super excited for them, but it was the househunting the was an issue for you because you were so picky.

you weren't too worried about the rent, the main issue was the interior so you took it upon yourself to do some drastic redecorating when you found one. and in four months it was ready, the only thing it was missing was you.

you nodded happily, "I can move in whenever I'm ready."

your answer made jude smile. be knew just how excited you were to finally move into a place of your own because all you'd been doing was saving up. "which is..."

"which is before christmas. and I have a little surprise on the way as well," you retorted in excitement but jude's thoughts immediately went to pregnancy and you could see it on his face, judging by how quickly his eyes dropped to your stomache.

the sun had fully set now, the air beginning to chill but not in a way that had you shivering, but in a way that made you feel relieved. basking in the atmosphere took your mind elsewhere, a glimmer of something in the back of your mind flashing.

your stomach dropped at the memory. one of the many that you've recently.

"we have to go to spain." the glee in your voice bounced off the walls of the bedroom, back to the bed where you and your boyfriend were lying.

he chuckled at your antics and the way that your grip tightened on his torso, his fingers lightly tracing your shoulder. "we'll go anywhere you like baby." he kissed the top of your head.

you looked up at him with doe eyes. "really?"

michael flashed an adoring smile, the same one that showed just how smitten he was for you. you felt a chill run down your spine at the touch of his fingers on your cheeks. "I'd do anything for you."

your throat stung at the memory, something that weighed so heavily on your chest. moments where you two promised to build a family together resurfaced, where you promised to always be there for each other, but this time accompanied by a bitter taste.

you'd accomplished so much these past few months and he wasn't there to witness it like he said he would. there weren't any flowers or handwritten cards with a hug that made you melt. you could still hear his voice sometimes and the way he would speak to you so gently.

at your graduation you could barely enjoy the moment because while being onstage you saw his face in the crowd, an unreadable expression and the words "I'm so proud of you, love" floating aimlessly through the air.

everything he ever said to you was now floating aimlessly through the air.

judebellingham

jobebellingham and 4 245 223 others liked this post

judebellingham had to go back to the hotel like thrice for her to get changed [tagged: spamjam._.]

see all comments below

jobebellingham please never take selfies again

→ spamjam._. agreed

→ judebellingham you're both walking to the stadium I don't care

vinijr ❤️🔥 [liked by judebellingham]

spamjam._.

liked by liverpoolfc and 2 345 234 others

spamjam._. 🌼

see all comments below

jobebellingham it's like you couldn't have waited for me before doing all this 😃

→ spamjam._. we're going to be together all week bro chill 🙄

liverpoolfc jamie come back, the kids miss you 🥲

→ spamjam._. they're lying

trentarnold66 you owe me a mcdonalds run when you get back [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. yes sir 🫡

Ibrahimakonate 🙊❤️ [liked by spamjam._.]

curtisjr my gf says you're beautiful 🙄

→ spamjam._. gf?? curtis call me right now istg!!

levicolwill okay supermodel🙄❤️ [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. check your dm's

"there's my favourite boy!"

you had your arms spread for a hug as you watched jobe walk up to you with a sheepish smile. you could tell that he was a slight bit embarrassed, but gave in anyway and dropped his bags to embrace you.

he had grown a freakishly large amount since the last time you saw him— towering over you would be an understatement and it took every bit of you not to feel overwhelmed, but how could you when he was so freaken cute??

a shy chuckle came from jobe as you continued to hug him, your arms tightly wrapped around in torso. "you can carry on when we get back to the hotel, people have places to be."

that wasn't good enough of an excuse for you. "they can let me have my moment."

when you got back to the hotel, jude wasn't there as suspected but all your bags were already packed for tomorrow morning's early flight back to madrid. the rest of the day was spent just relaxing in the hotel room and catching up as usual because you didn't want to waste your energy and fall asleep half way into the first half of the match.

"I can't believe I'm about to watch barça and madrid play," jobe commented as he scrolled through his twitter feed.

you two were settled comfortably on the couch set with snacks and the t.v playing as background noise. when you didn't reply he looked up from his phone, only to see you glued to your own with a lopsided smile.

it was unlike you to ignore him, even if it were by accident so it raised some suspicion. he kicked your thigh in an attempt to gain your attention but it didn't work, your fingers typing away at the keyboard for whatever reason. he didn't want to be one of those brothers and take your phone right out of hand and see what had you so interested— that was jude's job.

so instead he resorted to kicking you over and over until you eventually got irritated and yelped out in pain. "jobe my leg," you groaned and began to rub your thigh that he'd been taking hits at.

when you looked at him again his expression had changed, his lips slightly parted in shock. you asked him what the issue was and all he could manage was a scoff of disbelief. there'd only been one other instance where he'd seen you act like this before, and he tried to forget it at most.

"who are you talking to?"

jobe wasn't one to pry and you knew that, and when he did it was out of genuine concern. you cleared your throat awkwardly. "just a friend."

his eyes narrowed at your answer, knowing he caught you. "you don't have friends." in no way did he mean to offend you by saying that, because it was true and as clear as day. he knew you too well, maybe you could hide things from jude for a bit but with jobe it was different because everything came out unintentionally.

a sigh of defeat escaped your mouth and you set your phone down on your lap. "this is a situation my friend is in right now. you're not going to ask any questions okay?"

jobe nodded his head eagerly and sat upright so he could pay more attention. and just like that, you found yourself lost in the explanation and you were sure you nearly namedropped at least thrice but jobe remained attentive and gave his word when needed.

"I mean if they aren't dating then there should be nothing wrong with you--"

you gave jobe a look and he immediately retracted his last word.

"your friend. your friend, not you," he corrected sheepishly and you nodded.

he thought the idea was dumb. you could've just said that you were talking about yourself and he wouldn't have bugged you... that much. "your friend isn't overstepping any boundaries by the sound of it. so she should just go with the flow--"

you couldn't believe that you were taking relationship advice from an 18-year-old right now. this was your lowest. "--whatever happens, happens."

whatever happens, happens.

his advice genuinely seemed to shift some gears in your mind, and you wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in a bear hug. so that's exactly what you did. "have I ever told you how much I love you?"

the question made him stifle a laugh, the boy tightening his grip around your shoulders as you lay on top of him. "I want to say yes but no."

you slapped his arm jokingly. "you're my favourite brother too. but don't tell jude."

"how can I not??"

#footballer imagine #fanfic #footballer x reader #trent alexander arnold fluff #footballer x you #liverpool fc #trent alexander arnold x reader #football imagine #liverpool x reader #trent alexander arnold fanfic #afterglow trent alexander arnold #jude bellingham #jobe bellingham #cherrei rambles #cherrei writes #writers on tumblr #trent alexander arnold imagine #trent alexander arnold

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wolves-and-stars · 4 days

Text

Go to Fics (Easy Reads)

(A list of fics for when you're in a reading rut and want something easy, i keep going back to these ones they never let me down. Nothing too heavy, but please read the tags.)

1. How Remus Got His Groove Back by RealityShowJunky (ao3) 42k

Category: fluff? crack humor

I love this fic, the conversations are so well thought out, the characters are so interesting, you'll hate sirius, and Remus is kind of a pushover giving 2014 nerd, lonely, poorly written personality archtype. BUT, only when it comes to sirius, otherwise he's brilliant.

2. Succession of Halos by orphan_account (ao3) 7k

Category: fluffr

Remus runs a bookstore and sometimes minds harry, lily and james' brilliant son. Remus reads harry a book written by prof. sirius black about astronomy and the stars, and happens to attend a lecture to get their signature. Lily might be playing match maker.

3. See But One Moon by orphan_account (ao3) 9k

Category: fluff

Sirius Black has been pining for the nerdy Barista, Remus Lupin, for three months, but can't seem to get his attention. Remus, however, has noticed the over-excited law student, but isn't interested in being a conquest of the week. When Remus starts listening to the Marauding Hour--a University radio programme, he finds himself enraptured by one of the DJs, and starts to crush on him--hard. Little does he know that Padfoot has known him all along, and is looking for something much more than a one-off.

The summary explains it well enough, its very cute.

4. Sun In My Eyes by orphan_account (ao3) 12k

Category: not fluff, not angst either? non magic?

Remus Lupin struggles with a lot of things in life. Bipolar disorder, being poor, and working as an artist. He has a strict routine and plans to keep it that way with the help of his best friends Lily and James until one day James' best mate from school shows up and turns everything upside down. When art model Sirius enters Remus' life like a whirlwind, nothing will ever be the same.

I love this one, read it in 2016, still do every once in a while.

5. Other's Woe by orphan_account (ao3) 2k

Category: fluff

Forced to attend a group project meeting for a theology class, Remus thinks his day will be miserable until a gorgeous, grey-eyed stranger plants himself at their table and challenges the archaic thinking of the rest of the group. And in the end, it works out very well for Remus Lupin.

very fluffy, very soft, very short.

6. Living Like We're Renegades by orphan_account (ao3) 24k

Category: fluff

Exuberant, proud, genderfluid, cheerleader, self-described narcissist. All things to describe Sirius Black. It's a stark contrast from the self-imposed loner, Journalist, and Gender Studies major Remus Lupin who is thrown into Sirius' world after accepting a project for a class. When the two worlds collide, both lives are changed for the better.

Sirius leant forward a bit, meeting Remus’ eyes. “Are you asking if I go for cute boys in beanies and jumpers, Remus Lupin?”

Remus’ face went hot. “Er. No. I mean…er…”

Sirius laughed. “Find your chill, love. I’m joking.” He winked at Remus and sat back again.

sorry for staright up copy pasting the summaries by the author, but i feel like they cover it well enough.

7. Miles To Go Before I Sleep by orphan_account (ao3) 4k

Category: fluff, mostly

Working the front door at a posh block of flats, Remus Lupin spends their nights watching the door, and occasionally taking a sleep-walking Sirius Black back to the arms of his flatmate. Pining quietly, everything changes for Remus one night when Sirius' sleep-walking leads to comfort and emotional revelations.

8. All Hail the Outlaws by orphan_account (ao3) 29k

Category: fluff, fluff, fluff

One of Remus Lupin's three jobs happens to be working maintenance for their flat building. He gets to meet all sorts, most of whom he would rather have nothing to do with. Until James Potter and Sirius Black move in across the hall. Engineering students and self-proclaimed geniuses, the pair set out to make their neighbours new best friends, and everyone's life is turned upside down, but in the best way possible.

9. A Cure For Nightmares [+podfic] by picascribit (ao3) 36k

Category: hurt/comfort, angst, emotional

Sirius Black is not happy about their new roomate, who seems up himself, except the both of them suffer from nightmares and happen to get each other through the night. Will the secrets behind their nightmares get them together or will it tear them apart?

A couple of trigger warning for this one: mentions of SA, Physical A*buse, S*lf H*rm, De*th, H*m*phobia. i would proceed with caution, and read the tags carefully.

10. take me as I am by orphan_account, Shira_a 48k

Category: fluff, humor, but also sort of emotional and moments of angst.

Sirius is a sleep demon who gives nightmares to humans. Remus is an insomniac with hallucinations.

I will offer no other explanation. Love, Love, Love this one. its odd and well written and the characters are real and so is the relationship. Sirius the sleep demon and the hardship of humans and their mortality,

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babyyweebbitch · 2 years

Text

The stupidest/dangerous shit they’ve done with you around them (dad/brother! Characters)

idk why i randomly thought of leon and y/n getting into a helicopter crash (surviving obviously) and here we are 😀 also this was made a long ass time ago, i just never posted it.

content warning : black female reader ; injuries ; RE characters being fucking stupid ; injuries ; bleeding ; fire ; hand burning ; being stabbed (aka carlos being an idiot) ;

Chris “big arms” redfield

Managed to break his nose doing a push-up 🗿

chris was on temporary mandatory leave from work after a mission he was on, he ended up getting hurt pretty bad and the past few months he was resting and sleeping in either the living room or the bedroom. you helped him with a lot of things like bathing, eating and even walking around the entire house while he held onto your shoulders. this was one of his worst injuries he’s had since you were born. recently he’s been starting to get back on his feet and do things on his own, obviously with a little bit of assistance from you. he felt so bad his daughter was helping him do simple things but you told him over and over you didn’t mind at all and that he’s helped you since you were born so you can help him now

“hey hon… do you think i should start working out again?” chris asked you from his bathroom. he was looking at himself and noticed he lost muscle and weight. you were in the kitchen when he asked that and you got up and went to him. you saw he was looking at himself in the mirror and how he kinda looked insecure

“i mean, you’re gonna have to work again in a bit so yeah. i can help you!” you said pretty excited as you did. chris nodded and he thought

“how about i try….. doing push-ups?” he suggested. you nodded in agreement and he went to the living room, moving to the center of the room to get down and do push-ups

“okay, do at least… 5 to start with!” you said, he got into push-up position and he started… 1….2…3….4…5…6…7….8…9…. he started doing more than you said to start off with and you can see his arms starting to shake a bit, remember he hasn’t worked out in months so he lost a bit of strength. after pushing himself up for 10 he fell down pretty hard, face fucking first into the floor. all you heard was

“ow fuck!” come from him and seeing him grab his nose, rolling over to his back to comprehend for a second what just happened and he sat up

“i just told you to do 5…..” you said, not even surprised he broke his nose. the broken noses between you two was a lot. chris opened his mouth to protest but then closed it after he realised you did say to do 5 “mhmm…. oh my god, do you want me to help you?” chris stood up and shook his head before going to the bathroom to take care of his nose.

while he was gone you kinda gremlin walked to the cabinets and climbed onto the counter to grab a snack. you were a fingertip away when chris cleared his throat behind you

“and i told you to stop doing that, missy” you groaned as you got down

“even with a broken nose you’re bossy….”

“not bossy — just worried”

Leon “can’t operate a vehicle without crashing it” kennedy

crashed a fucking helicopter 🗿

so since you were a kid you’ve practically been an agent, since you were a kid you’ve been in so many dangerous situations and dragged into so many missions that you can technically work for the goddamn government. and yet again you were dragged into a week long mission with leon. how you may ask? wrong place wrong time now you’re shooting mfs and fighting for your life

you and leon managed to get a helicopter and escape from a building where (mainly) you were trying to be killed at, you sat in the back while leon flew the helicopter and you sighed thinking it was over finally

“how the hell do i keep getting dragged into this shit….” you asked him, getting up to walk towards him and as leon was about to speak another helicopter hit yours from the side causing you to fall down and leon lose control for a second, after a few seconds of spinning out of control you finally stabilised and you grabbed the closest gun to you and started shooting at the other helicopter and the people inside

“Y/N! what—“ you shot the pilot in the head and the helicopter hit yours once again for a bit, the people who where there started shooting back missing horribly and shooting the back as they crashed. you looked out the helicopter to see what happened and leon lost control once again “fuck fuck fuck!”

“dad! pull it up!” you yelled as you made your way to run towards him but it was already too late as the helicopter hit the side of a building and the first thing leon could think of was protecting you as it crashed so he got up and tackled you to the helicopter floor, holding the back of your head and using his body as a shield just incase something happened.

the next few moments were a blur but the helicopter ended up crashing in the middle of a intersection in the city. you woke up and tried to move but you had a large piece of the helicopter in your thigh and glass in your arm. leon was knocked out cold so you tried your best to drag him to safety even with shit inside your body. you used what you can find in a BSAA truck to take out the stuff in your leg and arm and used what you could to clean the wounds before going to check on leon

he woke up about 20 minutes later to you sitting on the floor with a bottle of water in your hand and bandages wrapped around your arm and leg. he panicked and went to see if you were okay

“Y/N! ow…. fuck..” he grabbed his side and he crawled over to you “what happened?”

“you crashed the helicopter at the intersection over there, i dragged you over here and tended to our wounds” you explained, leon sighed and he looked down

“what happened to your arm…? it’s still bleeding”

“i woke up and there was a piece of the helicopter in my thigh and glass in my arm. i got out most of everything but i’ll live” you stood up and went over to him “can you walk?” he sat there for a second before nodding and you held your hand out to him, you helped him up “good, because we got shit to take care of and i dont wanna do it alone” you handed him his gun and you grabbed yours. leon kinda stood there watching you walk away

his daughter was so badass he felt like an imposter tbh…

Jake “shouldn’t have a motorcycle license” muller

burned cookies then burned himself with the pan 🗿

jake had just gotten home from the store, it was your birthday so he wanted to make you some nice things and decorate the house for you — usually on your birthday he was either on a mission or something so this was the one birthday he was actually home for it. he felt like a horrible brother but you knew he had better things to do. you actually liked being home with your dog and watching movies with him in the living room. jake would call you on your birthday so you didn’t feel like he forgot it and Sherry would even get you some stuff

you were out with your dog just at the park playing fetch with him and giving him treats. you talked to a few people at the park while your dog was rolling around in the dirt with the happiest look on his face. you decided you wanted to go home so you called him towards you and you both started walking home. you didn’t have to put him on a leash because one he didn’t leave your side, even if he saw something and two he was pretty well trained and where you lived you didn’t have to have a dog on a leash if they were well trained

jake was making cookies and frosting the cake he made you, he kinda forgot the cookies were in the oven because he was putting his art skills to the test with the frosting and he was drawing something on the top. the smoke alarm started going off and he turned around to see the cookies were on fire in the goddamn oven

“OH FUCK! OH SHIT!” he panicked and he grabbed the oven mit to grab the pan. he was so stressed tf out right now he kinda forgot he’s supposed to grab the pan with the oven mit so he accidentally grabbed it with his bare fucking hand and yelled out in pain. you opened the door to the alarm going off and smoke so you ran to the kitchen to see what happened

“Jake?! what happened?!” you yelled out to see what was happening, you saw the cake, the burned cookies and the house decorated and you put two and two together. you giggled a bit before putting a mit on and taking the cookies out for him, placing them in the sink and ran the water over them. “jake… you didn’t —“

“i know i didnt have too but i wanted to — ow my hand!” you laughed a bit and grabbed his hand to see what was wrong, you ran water over it and grabbed the first aid kit to tend to his burn

“i know…. thank you jake — it actually means a lot to me to be honest….” you said, keeping your eyes off him as you wrapped his hand with the bandage. you sniffled and then used one of your hands to wipe your eyes. jake saw this and thought he did something wrong

“hey… why… why are you crying, sis…?” he asked, a hint of concern in his voice as he did. he had a soft spot for you since you were the only family he had left so he only showed kindness towards you

“it’s just…. i love this so much… you’re the only person out of all the people i know that actually remembered today” you said as you finished wrap his hand and then you got a tissue to wipe your tears away. jake felt his heart break once you had said that

“did sherry not text or call you?”

“no…. but it’s okay — she’s probably busy or something, it’s fine. as long as i have you and my dog that’s all that matters” you said jokingly and then went to help with the rest of the cooking stuff. after the cooking was done you and jake ate and just chilled around the house. it wasn’t much but you loved it — a lot and you couldn’t ask for anything better

Carlos mop hair oliveira

stabbed himself with a knife he just sharpened like a dumbass🗿 (this is literally a few months after raccoon city, the year is like 1999 now-)

after the events of raccoon city Carlos told jill he had a younger sister that he had stay in the next city while he was in Raccoon city his entire mission, both you and carlos used to live with an old cop named Rob who ended up dying before carlos left for his mission so you’ve been alone in the apartment ever since. carlos called you before he and Jill came back to warn you that a new person was coming.

once they actually came you and Jill got close and carlos was very happy to see you happy so he didn’t do anything to intrude your relationship with jill. whenever jill was home she spent time with you, she even did some of her research with you and you even cracked some cases for her , not because she asked you to but because you had a tendency to not stop doing research about a specific thing until you were certain it was literally everything you can do, she’s said that you can work with her when you’re older and carlos even agreed

one day while Jill was out on a mission you and carlos were home alone just chilling, you were playing on a gameboy on the couch and Carlos was sharpening one of his knifes and humming along to a song that played on the radio, you were too involved in your game so you didn’t know what was happening outside of your gameboy until carlos stood up after sharpening the knife

“ah—ha! finally sharpened! Y/N check this out!” carlos was known to be quite the dumb ass at home so him waving the knife around like he was in a fight with a viking was normal behaviour to you, again — you were too involved in your game so you kinda just nodded and “uh-huh”ed. you looked up to see what he was doing and you sighed

“you’re gonna stab yourself with that….”

“i wont stab myself! i’ll be completely o—“ the upstairs neighbour had dropped something on the floor causing a loud noise, carlos jumped thinking it was something bad but as he jumped he let go of the knife and it stabbed him right in the side of his thigh. everything kinda happened in slow motion to you and once carlos screamed out in pain you finally realised the dumbass himself was wrong

“carlos!” you jumped up from your seat to go and help carlos sit down on the couch, carlos was hesitant about sitting on the couch because he was worried about the blood (and jill)

“why the couch!? why not the floor! fuck!”

“fuck the couch, carlos! your leg is more important!” you snapped at him, kneeling down to look at the knife in his leg. you were thinking about calling jill for a second before you remembered she was on a mission “okay…. uhhhh grab that pillow and look away” you said to carlos. he looked at you with a combination of pain and confusion

“what’re you—“

“just grab the damn pillow and look away, dumbass” carlos did as he was told and that’s when you grabbed the knife, counted from 3 to 2 to give him faulse hope you were actually being nice and yanked that fucker out. carlos who was fully convinced you actually had 100% love for him and was gonna go down to one screamed out in pain and punched the arm of the couch

“you fuckin— oohhhh that hurt! why didn’t you go to one?!” he said kinda muffled in the pillow he started biting, you put the knife on the table before you went to get the first aid kit with all the stitching equipment and cleaning supplies

“because you’re a dumbass — i told you that you would stab yourself with that….”

“so all those times i counted to one and took your bandaids off as a kid didn’t mean anything at that point —“

“all my injuries were accidents and me not having a peanut brain… yours was just because you’re a dumbass” you went back over to clean his wound

“that’s mean…..”

“it’s okay — not all of us have normal sized brains” you reached up to pat his head before going to get the stitching stuff ready. one thing carlos was afraid of was getting stitches and shots. once you had to hold him down while jill gave him stitches on his calf. carlos may look tough but he would rather let a cut get infected or raw dog a cut before he ever gets stitches

“okay, why don’t you slap a bandaid on it and call it a day? the stitches are a bit much”

“carlos, i will call the cops to hold you down, you’re going to the hospital or you hold the pillow and let me do this. either way, you’re getting stitches so pick one”

“call the national guard, bitch”

long story short you literally had cops come to hold him down while you stitched his leg :D

#resident evil #resident evil 2 #resident evil 3 #resident evil 4 #resident evil 5 #resident evil 6 #resident evil 7 #resident evil 8 #resident evil vendetta #resident evil damnation #chris redfield #chris redfield x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #jake muller #jake muller x reader #carlos oliveira #carlos oliveira x reader

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woneuntonzz · 8 months

Text

what's it like to love ? 𓇢𓆸

anton lee x afab!reader (part 4/5)

• part 1

• part 2

• part 3

• part 5

warnings: cussing!

genre: fluff -`♡´- highschool love

word count: 5.3k words!!

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ description: student athlete!anton x studious class officer!reader | you swore to yourself, to you friends and even to your parents “I'm not one to easily fall.” and you thought you were that tough, not until him of course. [note!!: hiii i'd just like to quickly say that this is my first ever post ever and i'm still a bit insecure with my writing, and english is not my first language so bare with me now 🙏 open for any forms of feedback please do take note that i will take longer to update/respond to anything because of school, thank you!!! ]

[Day 14]

“You seriously aren't dating?”

It's been over an hour since you've set yourself to finish the very last thing that you needed to complete your grades in Economics.

You and a couple of your friends were in the library on an early Tuesday morning to finish schoolwork. You've spent the past week taking tests, conducting group presentations, finishing remaining school work, and preparing for the finals which were to be held the next day.

“No —shouldn't you be studying? I heard your class is getting a long test from Mr. Choi later.” you didn't bother drawing your eyes away from what you were doing hoping that they would stop pestering you with the unnecessary questions.

“That's not a problem to me, so stop changing the topic. Tell us what's going on between you and the swimmer guy, you two are always together nowadays 's so hard to miss now.” you stopped and stared at the paper you've been working on, giving Liz a quick glance.

“He likes me.” These words slip past your mouth like it's been resting at the back of your tongue.

”And?” you sighed at Liz's urges and pursed your lips, trying to find the words to explain everything.

“I haven't reciprocated.” your response was very subtle but your tone indicated hesitance.

“For real? Well, how do you feel about Anton?” Liz's question made everyone take a pause on what they were doing, they were all eyes and ears for you.

“Anton —he's very sweet, and he cares about me, like, a lot. And you know how I've been bothered by him ignoring me for like, months? I just suddenly became interested in befriending him, even just a little bit —but, yeah, that happened. I don't get why it bothered me so much that it got to a point of him confessing out of the blue, does this mean I like him too?” Your eyes lingered on the empty space on the table you occupied.

Your friends exchanged worried looks, unsure of how to help you.

“I mean, you were mainly worried that he hated you, right?” you weakly nodded at Danielle. “Normally you wouldn't really care about that stuff, at least since last year, so looking at it now it seems like your fixation on Anton must mean something.”

You sighed, averting your eyes from the table and staring on the floor below you as you started to think. Because of something that happened back then, I just stopped caring for anyone with a negative sentiment towards me. I didn't care when that girl I swore to the heavens I loved suddenly stopped caring about me just because of a stupid rumor, I didn't care when people started giving me glares, whispering to themselves when I passed by, I didn't care when I saw the screenshots from group chats that talked shit about me and my friends. I just didn't care, but what made me care for him? —you started to reflect on your feelings and actions for the past year.

“I'll be fine!” The sudden shift of tone and the smile that sprang forth your lips shocked your friends.

“You sure? We're really worried, you know.” Liz held your free hand and caressed it with her thumb.

“Yeah, I think I got it.” you heartily smiled at both Liz and Danielle to reassure them.

Danielle went to give you a warm embrace whilst Liz had her arm wrapped around your shoulders, giving you a light squeeze.

In all honesty, even you didn't know what you meant by "I think I got it.”. What was the next move? Just go with the flow —you repeated in your mind, allowing yourself to be receptive as the next few hours flew by.

————— ୨୧ —————

Anton sat next to you in the classroom with a very few others, those including you who chose to stay back for lunch to finish the workload.

Both you and Anton were busy with something, with you assisting him every now and then since he had a lot more to work on.

Despite the very heavy atmosphere brought in by the stress from school, you and Anton appeared to be marveling in your own little world, sifting through paperwork with such radiant expressions embedded on your faces.

“How should I design this?” Anton held up his unfinished project.

You turned to face him, crossing your legs and holding your chin to imitate enthusiasm. “You know what it needs?”

“Please don't say Barney the Purple Dinosaur, that… thing… It terrifies me.” Anton shimmied his shoulders to express his supposed fear.

“WHAT? He's cute!” you pressed on him, making him breathe out a laugh.

“So you're saying Barney looks like you?” your eyebrows nearly touched from what he had just said.

“Excuse me? Do I look purple to you?” you jabbed at him with 'threatening' eyes.

“No, what I mean is, if he's really cute as you claim, he should at least resemble you.” Anton calmly explained.

His zealous explanation made you chortle. He was immersed in your laughter, your voice, your eyes that disappeared as you chortled on, and the corners of your lips that rose higher and higher, because of him.

“Oh, so I'm your basis for what you classify as cute?” you breathlessly spoke, still trying to recover from your disoriented state.

“Well, yeah! look at you…” he cupped your face in his hands, gently squishing your cheeks.

His eyes went from your lips to your eyes after you had gone completely quiet. Your eyes meet each other, stuck perfectly as if binded by glue. He delved into the pools of your eyes, trying to capture what it is you're trying to tell him with your stare.

“Anton.” Your serene voice made Anton blink.

“Yeah?” he whispered back.

“Can you give me a little more time?” he breathes in after hearing your question, but you spoke again before he could utter a response. “To think about… us.”

Your face was still in his hands. He started softly brushing his thumb against the skin of your cheeks. “Of course. I'm sorry, am I moving too fast?”

“No.” but I'm falling too fast —you were only able to finish your sentence in your mind, still afraid to admit your feelings.

You were still quite unsure. You were still afraid that things would end up the same way it did for you past 'relationships', you were already thinking about the plausible downfall before anything had even started.

————— ୨୧ —————

The bell rang, students scurried out of the building, being chased by the obligation to study for the exams tomorrow day.

“Don't message me tonight okay? Both you and I have A LOT to study.” you iterate to the guy walking beside you.

“Yep. I'll be crying over chemistry… if you even cared.” you playfully rolled your eyes at his humorous cry.

When you stepped out of the school gates, you were expecting him to wave goodbye and walk the other way, but then after being about a meter away from school, you stopped in your tracks.

“Why are you still with me? isn't your house the other way?” you furrowed your brows as you looked at him.

“You're crazy for real, my house is literally in the same direction as yours, keep walking luv.” Anton placed his hand on the area below the back of your neck, lightly pushing you to continue your steps.

“Wait, really? you've always walked the other way…” at this point you were just questioning everything and you already had a lot on your mind considering the exams.

“I visit the record store nearby before going home.” you simply nodded at Anton for his clarification.

“Why?” you asked to which he shrugged.

“I like it there. It's peaceful, it's vintage, the music is fire, and the owner is very nice.” it was true that he often visited that place before he went home, but not everyday, what wasn't a fact is that his home is actually in the same direction as yours. “I can take you there some time when you're free.”

“I'd love that.” you utter, smiling to yourself, keeping your eyes on the vamp of your shoes.

You two kept walking till you reached the gates to your house and the sun was just about to fall.

“I never knew you lived just right ahead.” you were unlocking the gate when the words fell off your lips.

“Are there no people inside to open the gate for you?” you swung the gate open and looked at Anton whose eyes lingered on your bedroom window on the second storey of the house.

“My dad's abroad, my mom's at work.” you shake your head away from the gloomy thoughts, smiling up at Anton.

He smiled back, subtly biting down on his bottom lip.

“Get home safely Tonii.” there was a glint in Anton's eyes when they enlarged in a modicum.

“Uh —Oh, yeah, you too.” Your laughter filled his ears and soon enough he cracked up as well.

“What do you mean 'you too'?” At this point, you're just breathing out your words. “I'm literally at home right now!”

“You never know, Barney might be right behind the door to kidnap you…” Anton eyed the door of your house, his actions gave you the creeps and the thought that an intruder might actually be inside your house waiting for you flashes in your mind.

“Ow!” you hit Anton's chest, but still, he laughed.

“Go home! you didn't have to give me anxiety you know!” Anton chuckled once again looking down on you who was looking up at him and pointing at his face, acting menacing in jest.

“Go inside your house first, what will happen then if I left and Barney ends up kidnapping and eating you alive huh?” you both had pursed lips in an attempt to suppress a laugh.

“Okay, okay. I'll go in.” When the two of you finally calmed yourselves down, you walked to the doorstep of your house.

You had the door wide open, just enough for Anton to catch a glimpse of your humble home. You stood by the door, already inside the house. “Message me when you get home, will you?” you asked eagerly, just loud enough for Anton to hear you despite the distance.

“I will.” Anton replied, matching your volume.

He waved at you as a smile crept up to his face.

His smile somehow caused you to feel some kind of current coursing through your entire body. You had to defy the urge to just walk right back to Anton to make him feel what you felt as your eyes traced the curve that gradually formed on his lips.

He kept his smile as he started to slowly disappear from your sight. You were so smitten that you failed to notice that he walked back to the direction where you came from.

————— ୨୧ —————

About an hour has passed, and the message you'd been waiting for since you've had yourself settled at your study table is yet to come.

You've been flipping over your notes, sequentially staring at every word delineated with different color variations of highlights.

Maybe he forgot, he must've gotten really tired… —you began to think of a thousand reasons why he hasn't messaged you yet. You exhaled heavily, laying your head on your forearm resting on your study table. You shifted your head to the side and eyed your phone. You were pondering on just grabbing it and asking him where he was and why hasn't he messaged you yet.

You sat up with both hands at the sides of your head. After a few minutes of resisting and a long blink, you finally gave in.

Anton just got off the bus when he felt his phone vibrating in his hands. His eyes went bulging out of its socket when he saw your name.

Anton couldn't help but beam at the little nickname you gave him but he quickly gathered his thoughts and gulped, glancing at the quiet street of their neighborhood. He couldn't stand making up a nonsensical excuse that you'll eventually dissect within seconds, he didn't want you to think that he doesn't really care or that he forgot, that he got too tired. It wouldn't make sense for him not to speak or be with you even if he's exhausted to the core, he could only be in repose with you after all.

A downturned smile formed on Anton's lips. He made great effort every time he intended to flirt with you, and he was aware when you flirted back, he just wasn't certain if you meant any of them. He surely meant every endearment, often masking them with his little quips. He didn't want to think you were just frivolling with him and he's quite abashed with even having to take a second to think about it.

He felt his phone vibrate in his hands again, this time you were calling. He picked up almost immediately, and you were met with the ceiling of his room.

“Nice wall.” you uttered.

“It's the ceiling.” he was chuckling out of frame

He had his phone set up on his desk and you could see his medals and trophies at the background, and his cello. You were eager to ask him about his cello, ask him to play you something, and maybe even teach you. You cleared your throat as you cleared out your thoughts.

Anton sat down on his desk chair facing his phone —facing you.

“Where are the others?” Anton asked as he watched you blurt down what you were studying.

“Oh, they backed out.” your tone was nonchalant and your head hung low, pouring all your attention to blurting, or at least you were trying to.

“Really?” he was almost laughing and you heard it, making your left brow rise.

“Mhmm~” you hummed back.

“You sure it's not because you wanted to talk to me?” Anton's tone sent shivers down your spine.

He sounded calmer, and a lot more alluding, so much so that you had to stop and stare at your notebook for a while to calm your mind and give it some space to process what to reply.

“Maybe —Well, yeah, I guess, but I called you to study.” your voice took after his making him feel assured.

Despite the soporific air in his room which he inhaled, he was wide awake, wanting to just hear you talk on and on and on again. His yearnings were answered not long after.

“And I guess I wanted to… hear your voice —again.” your figure remained placid in his eyes, but deep inside, your heart pounded like a whole planet of people marching together.

“Really?” somehow his voice became a lot lower, while still having a comforting and peaceful cadence.

“Mhmm~” your hum, this time, was a lot more mellow. It filled his ears and it got stuck in his head like a song that he almost hummed too.

“Everything about you is so, so beautiful.” your heartbeat persisted.

You looked up to your phone to see him, and there he was, giving you the same smile he left you as he stood by the gates of your home. How could you not smile back? in a matter of seconds, you shied away from his stare, looking back down on the paper that you've almost forsaken.

“Hey —uh —let's have this talk some other time. There's still a lot to study, especially for you.” Anton could hear the frailty trying to break out of your voice.

He chuckled spurring your attempts to calm your heart down to fall short. “Okay, lovely.”

Your head fell right onto your desk, producing a loud thud.

“Y/n? you okay?” your sudden action stunned him.

“Yeah, yeah, i'm fine! let's just study, please!” you pleaded as you lifted your head back up.

You just had no idea that his heartbeat was in sync with yours. He just wanted to be by your side again. He didn't want the call to end just yet, he loved hearing your voice, but at the same time he couldn't wait for the next day to come so he could admire you closely and marvel in your presence.

————— ୨୧ —————

[Day 17]

Finals have come to an end. Some tests were easier than others, but you were confident, you were gonna be in the Top 5 of the ranks. You felt particularly good during those 3 days of absolute mind torture. Within those 3 nights, you and Anton have been having your study calls. You would both study the whole time, while also fighting to make the other blush more than yourselves.

It's a cloudy Sunday morning, you could tell it was cloudy since the sun has yet to peek at you at the time it normally would. You had just woken up from a good night's sleep and felt very relaxed that you had nothing to worry about anymore. No pending schoolworks, no group projects and presentations, no more quizzes and exams, and most importantly, no more school for a few short months.

Once that long awaited break greets you and pats you on the back, all you'll have to do is brace yourself for your senior year, your final year. You've been thinking really hard on what course to take and all you've ever been is nothing but unsure even with the pressure of having only a year left to figure it out.

You got your phone from your bedside table, and without checking it, you headed downstairs.

“Hey, hun', your grandpa asked if you wanted to come over and visit, we'll only be there till dinner.” your mom asked as she eyed your figure that slowly descended from the stairs. “Your grandpa is having some visitors if you don't mind.”

You lightly smiled at your mom and nodded.

It's been a while since you've paid a visit to your grandfather's haven —as you'd like to call it. He owned a huge flower field, filled with flowers that he and his family adored. Your grandfather loved seeing people with mouths hang open, admiring the beauty, the work, and the thought put into this field. He could've capitalized on it, but he didn't. He made a gateway and a stone path through the field, and anyone could go in and out. He always watched, to make sure that no one would ruin his beloved flowers, but for the most part he just wanted to see the appreciative nature of mankind towards such beautiful beings.

In the car ride to your grandpa's, your mom would ask you about everything that's been happening for the past few months. It's been quite a while since the two of you had an actual conversation. It was a great relief that your mom missed you as much as you missed her, where every night when you hear the sound of her parking the car in the garage, you couldn't bring yourself to get up anymore and greet her. It would be too late in the night for you to be up and it would worry her, so you would just lay there and you would see her with only the moonlight shining down on her, and she would caress your hair and leave once she's assured that you've been sleeping well.

After some catching up with your mom, you finally arrived at your grandpa's. He welcomed the two of you with a warm and wide smile spread across his face. He smelled like a pie of mixed fruits, which could only mean one thing.

“These visitors, they want to buy my field.” both you and your mom went wide-eyed from his words.

“You said yes?” your mom's hand reached for her dad's forearm, keeping it there.

“Well, not yet.” your grandfather scratched the back of his neck when your mom let out a loud sigh.

“Well, grandpa, if you can refuse it, you definitely should. That's your gift for grandma for her last birthday, and she's looking over it from the heavens. Who knows what these visitors would do with these fields. They might clear out all the flowers and build a factory for all we know!” your grandpa looked at you with contrite eyes.

“I know, I know, but they've really been pushing me for almost 8 months now! I was hoping we could talk it out through dinner.” you had so much trust in your grandfather, and you knew he could resolve this, you knew he would never give up the field, even for his own life. “And maybe you'd like their son too.”

The worry painted on your face was diminished within seconds.

“Dad!” your mom lightly hit his shoulder with the hand that used to rest on his forearm.

“What?” your grandpa seemed to be a little too indifferent with the situation he'd put you in and it made you a bit upset.

“Did you set her up with the son!?” your mom had a firm grip on his shoulder now, slightly shaking him as she spoke.

“I guess so.” your mom sighed even heavier than earlier. “Their son is a good guy! He's a bit timid, but he was tall! really tall… and I believe he plays basketball —or was it football? I can't really remember, but—”

“It's fine.” you blurted out, arms crossed and gloomy eyes pinned to the floor.

“I'm sorry my little tulip. I shouldn't have. You don't have to, okay? I'll try my best to convince them with my words and cooking alone, and if it doesn't work, then, I don't really know what to do —but you can just settle, okay?” your grandpa placed a hand on top of your head and gave it a gentle pat.

You could only nod and give him a weak smile. You loved the field, it's the only fragment of your grandmother that you'll be able to keep till your last breath. When you were born, it's been over a decade since your grandmother had passed. You had never been in her presence, but in the fields, you could catch a glimpse of her amidst the clouds, smiling down at you.

Before you knew it, the night would fall. You made sure you looked proper, still staying true to your words that you were not there to impress anybody.

You helped your mom with setting up the dining table. When the bottom of the glass pitcher you held touched the table, you heard your grandpa say “Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Lee! —oh, and hello to you too young man!”.

You sighed, but then you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned your head and was met with your mom's reassuring smile. “Nothing's going to be sold, and no one's going to be forced into anything, okay?” she says softly, before making her way into the living room to greet the guests as well.

Her words made you feel at ease, the heavy feelings that slowly weighed down on you started to dwindle.

Put away the cloth you used to handle the pitcher, and you could hear your mom, grandpa and the guests coming into the kitchen.

“Oh, and that's my granddaughter Y/n. She's very smart, and she can sing too!” you suppress a laugh from hearing your grandpa's proud tone.

You turned around, and your mind went spiraling. It seemed out of the blue, a very peculiar instance. Perhaps this was entirely by chance as this was never a part of your wishes and prayers.

“Y/n y/s/n?” you tensely nod at who you could only guess as the mother of the family.

“You know my granddaughter?” your grandfather tilted himself to the side out of curiosity.

“Hmm, yes. We know her very well. She's known for being one of the top students in their school, in fact, she's helped our son a lot with his schoolworks since he had a lot to catch up on.” the mom gave you a warm smile after her sentence.

“Our son is very thankful. We hear your name quite a lot and we've really been wanting to meet you.” This time, it was the dad who spoke.

Your lips quivered. You're just simply at a loss for words.

Everyone was sitting on the dining table, and there he was, sitting across from you.

“Oh, I thought you were a basketball player because of how tall you are! good for you! I feel like being a swimmer is a lot cooler!” your grandfather would excitedly exclaim somewhere in the adults' conversation.

You and him never bothered to join in unless you were asked.

Once again, being in your own little world, when the adults had gone to the living room to talk, the two of you went to the flower fields.

“This place is surreal.” you barely believe that you were hearing the same mellow voice that you could never seem to get off your head again after a while.

“Yeah? just imagine how it would look under the light of day.” you crouched down to touch one of zinnias.

You felt his lofty figure crouch down next to you.

“I missed you, you know. My parents tricked me into coming here. I just said I wanted to see this field, but when we got close they told me they wanted me to meet the field owner's daughter. It was like they were implying that I get no bitches.” you couldn't help but laugh at him.

You turned yourself around and carefully sat yourself on the stone path with your knees bent towards your body. You could feel some of the flowers tickling your back making you giggle softly as you looked into his eyes.

“I missed you too Tonii.” he gave you a smile as bright as the moon above.

You both looked up to the sky and admired the stars, and the crescent moon.

“It was so cloudy this morning. I can't believe this sight would be possible.” your voice was very gentle, still admiring the night sky.

Anton looked into your shimmering eyes. He could see the reflection of the moon greeting him. It was telling him something. He was so mesmerized by you that he wouldn't even realize that you were already staring back at him.

“It's kind of funny, you know? it's like the universe was taunting us, telling us we're gonna meet another romance that was not each other, but in the end it's still us.” you tilted your head, trying to see through Anton's entrancing gaze.

“I like you too Anton.”

Despite the cold air of the night, heat traveled throughout your entire body as you watched his eyes grow larger.

“Am I hearing things? Y/n? Y/n are you there?” you released a hearty laugh and hit his chest playfully.

You allowed your hand to rest there, and you could feel his rapid heartbeat that went at the same pace as yours. It wouldn't take long until you were both staring into each other again, and at the same time, at the same speed, your eyes would shift to each other's lips, and they would meet eventually. You wrapped your arms around his neck when he had placed a hand to support your back as he leaned in closer, and closer.

“Y/n? Anton? Where are you?” you two would hurriedly stand up from where you were when you heard your grandpa's calls.

You glanced at each other's flushed faces before a flashlight shone right onto your faces.

“Oh, there you are. Well, Anton and his parents will be leaving now.” Your grandpa gave Anton a big smile, signaling with his hands for Anton to come back to the house.

You walked back side by side with your hands latched onto one another.

You two were met with silent stares when you entered the house with linked hands. You two would let go from each other and Anton would go stand next to his parents.

“We'd like to thank you for the wonderful meal, we really do appreciate it.” Anton's mom shook hands with your grandfather, and would give your mom a hug.

She went up to you and hugged you as well, a little bit longer than you expected.

————— ୨୧ —————

When you got home, you had asked Anton if you could give him a call since your time earlier was cut short. He immediately said yes and you two would be on facetime again, this time with no books or notebooks, not seated at your desks. You were both just lying on your beds with your phones in hand.

“Wait, you like me too?” Anton had been asking the same question for the past 6 minutes

“Yes!” you laughed.

He just couldn't believe it. You couldn't believe him either. You've been thinking about it ever since day 1, it was just now when you realized that you did feel the same.

“Are we like g-f and b-f now?” he places a hand over his mouth acting like a shy toddler.

“Ew, don't say it like that!” He ended up laughing too.

“Okay!” his laughter would fall to an abrupt stop and it would go silent for a while that you almost asked him if he was still there. “But seriously, what are we?”

“Well, we feel the same. Couples become couples because of reciprocated feelings. Now put two and two together.” you made little hand gestures as you spoke, and he just smiled, but deep inside he was awestruck, still finding everything unbelievable.

“We're… we're together now holy shit.” you couldn't help a gasp from escaping your mouth. You've never heard him cuss so heavily before, it sounded harmless —well of course, he's Anton— but it was so foreign to you that you just bursted out laughing.

The two of you talked and laughed throughout the night, and when the clock ticked at 12, you two had to say goodbye.

“Good night Tonii.” you yawned, making Anton expel a chuckle. “Can't you stop laughing at everything?”

“I should be the one saying that to you, but anyways, I just think you're so adorable, leave me alone.” his last words were muffled as he hid the bottom half of his face under the covers. “Good night lovely. See you again tomorrow.”

Tomorrow was another day, and a very great one as it turns out. Suddenly you two weren't hiding the fact that you two would hold hands and were always just centimeters away from touching noses. Your friends and Anton's alike didn't seem to be surprised at all, they were more likely relieved that the two of you finally came to a conclusion to what they thought shouldn't take too long. After all, the painfully obvious mutual feelings you shared were so strong that your friends and he would have distorted faces by the end of observing you two. But now, the clock is finally set.

“So you're saying, your grandfather spent almost a half of his life on that flower field, and it would be his final and greatest gift to your grandma?” you hummed an affirmation at Anton's query. “Woah.”

“The commitment made me believe that there is indeed true love.” you said in a very dramatic tone, looking off into the distance.

“I can do that for you too.” he took great offense from you laughing at his face. “I'm not kidding!”

“I mean, it,'s not that I don't think you can or would, you don't really have to. There's a lot more ways you can express your feelings, my grandpa just happens to be a very hard-working man who appreciates the smallest of the small things in life.” Anton just loved it when you got so immersed with explaining.

“It's love.” he blurts out.

“Yeah. Love.”

Love drives us to do the unthinkable, the perceptively impossible. Love is complex, but you would know it when you feel it, you would know when you've found it. And it is when love is exchanged unconditionally that life begins to finally be as fulfilling as they claim it to be in books and movies.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

#riize #riize au #riize fanfic #anton lee #briize #riize anton #riize fluff #riize x reader #Spotify

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hangmansgbaby · 1 year

Text

Always Darling | 5 | J.Seresin

H E R E W E G O A G A I N

Summary: 5 years after the Uranium Mission, Jake and Willow think they’re at a calm in their life. But not everything is as it seems.

Pairings: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x OC!Willow "Vixen" Seresin, brief mentions of Pete "Maverick" Mitchell x OC Daughter!Willow "Vixen" Seresin and Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x OC God Sister!Willow "Vixen" Seresin

Warnings: lots of crying, mentions of divorce, Seresin kids are sad, Cute Seresin family moments… lemme know if I should add more!

Note: let’s not talk about the 4 months it took me to write this 😁🙃

Apr 2024 note: I did end up updating this into an OC as I dont write my series as a reader insert anymore.

Word count: 5k

Masterlist | Always Darling Masterlist

“Beckett Walker give me back my book!” 12 year old Ellorie shouts chasing her 4 year old little brother.

“Woah slow your roll little man!” Willow laughs as Beckett runs between her and the kitchen cabinet. Beckett laughs running past Elle as she runs into the kitchen.

“Ugh! Mom! Beck stole my book!”

“Okay okay, I’ll get him.” Willow sets down the bread in her hand and walks out to the living room. “Beck, honey, where’s your sister’s book?”

“I wanna read too, mama!” Beck jumps onto the couch, the book clutched tight in his hands.

“I know buddy but this is Elle’s book, if you ask nicely maybe she’ll read you one of your books.”

“Please Ellie!” He pleads, pulling the puppy dog eyes.

“Come on Beck. Let's go pick one out.” Elle sighs, guiding her brother to his room.

“You’re such a good big sister.” Willow laughs, going back to the kitchen.

“Only because I have too!” Willow chuckles at the comment, knowing Elle loves being a big sister. Willow returned to the kitchen, making the kids lunches for school when Jake walked out of the bedroom.

“Good morning Commander Seresin.” Jake smiles, kissing his wife.

“What's up with you?” Willow questions, putting the various items into the lunch pails.

“Can’t be excited to see my beautiful wife in the morning?”

“You can when you say ‘my beautiful wife’ but my rank? Somethings up Jake.” Willow turns around in Jake’s hold, his hands resting on the counter on either side of her.

“Okay okay. I got a call today.”

“And?”

“12 month deployment. We leave next week.” Jake sighs.

“Shit.” Willow drops her head to Jake’s shoulder. “A whole year?”

“I’ll find an excuse to not go? Maybe baby number 3?” Jake smirks, raising his brows at her.

“One, no more kids. Beck is the last one. Two, there’s no getting out of deployments, even with a pregnancy. Remember the mission a week before Beck was born?” Willow sighs, rubbing Jake’s shoulders.

The day Jake had to leave was almost as hard as when Willow found out Jake went missing. The pregnancy had been so much worse than Elle’s. Morning sickness lasted the whole nine months and Willow had at least 5 scares in the last 3 months and to top it all off, Jake was still overseas until Beck was 6 months old. He barely made it to a serviced area to be there over FaceTime.

“You gonna be okay?” Jake questions, holding her close.

“We’re always okay.” Willow smiles. “But ask me again when you call, I may be crying cause I miss you so much.”

“Hey, we’ll get through it. We always do.” Jake presses a kiss to her lips before stepping away. “But we have a whole week together. Beck! Elle! Let's go! We're gonna be late!”

“Coming!” Elle shouts.

“You wanna be on drop off duty today?” Willow asks, handing Jake the kids lunches.

“Of course darlin. See you at work.”

“Bye mama!” Elle runs by hugging her mom as she passes.

“Bye bye mama.” Willow squats to Becks level and he kisses her cheek.

“Such a gentleman.” She leads him outside, Beck insisting Willow walk outside first. “Be good for Daddy, little man.”

“Love you mama!” Both Elle and Beck shout as they climb into Jake’s truck, Beck with Jake’s assistance.

“See you on base darlin.” Jake kisses his wife again before climbing in and pulling out of the driveway.

Willow smiled, waving as the truck drove by, disappearing from her sight. She quickly heads back inside grabbing her things before climbing into her own car and heading to base.

“Hey Vixen.”

“Hey Bradley. Leaving with the team next week for the deployment?” Willow unlocks her office and Bradley follows her in.

“No, I had some leave pre-approved. I’ll be in Virginia for about a month and a half.” Bradley tells her.

“Oh? Visiting old friends?” Willow questions.

“Actually wrapping up mom’s estate, I think I’ve put it off long enough.” Bradley tells her. “Which is why I’m here. I was wondering if you had enough vacation days to come with. With Jake gone, figured you could use the distraction.”

“I guess it would be nice to show the kids a bit of my childhood.” Willow laughs. “They literally live in Jake’s every Christmas.”

“Yes! Come on Vix! For old times sake!” Bradley pleads.

“Fine! But I’m not flying the kids out there.”

“I’d appreciate the company and the help.” Bradley smiles.

“I’ll put the request in. Wanna road trip with us?” Willow questions pulling the paperwork up on her computer. “Be kind of nice to stop by the ranch, let the kids see everyone.”

“Of course. I’ll get everything set up for the drive.” Bradley smiles. “I’ll meet you at your house after they ship out.”

“See you Bradley.” Willow calls as he heads out of her office. She pulls up the leave request, filing everything as needed. Hours had passed when suddenly there was a knock on her door.

“Commander Seresin?”

“Yes?” Willow looks up to see one of her students standing at her door. “Lieutenant Jones, what can I do for you?”

“With graduation on Saturday, I just wanted to thank you, Commander. I didn’t think I could do this when I got here. You made me see otherwise.”

“I’m glad you figured it out, Lieutenant. You wouldn’t have been brought here if you didn’t belong.” The pilot nods before turning to exit but is stopped by Willow. “Oh Lieutenant, if you see Lieutenant Commander Seresin on your way out, would you let him know I need to see him?”

“Yes Ma’am.” Willow smiles at the young man as he leaves the room. She finalizes her paperwork, printing off a copy of everything before emailing it to the necessary people. She receives an immediate response from Admiral Simpson approving the leave. The man was sending her husband overseas for a year, the least he could do was give her a decent vacation time.

“Hey Darlin, was walking over with lunch when a very nervous pilot said you needed to see me.” Jake chuckles, setting the sandwiches he brought onto her desk. “Pretty sure he thinks you sent him for me so we can have sexy time in your office.” Jake winks as he drags a chair around to the side of her desk.

“Never happening again. You got us caught by Mav, Rooster, and Warlock that day.” Willow raises a brow at him as she slides the leave papers across the desk to him before reaching for her sandwich.

“Leave? Darlin I’m gonna be on deployment I can’t vacation.” Jake sighs, sliding the papers away. Willow sighs, she takes a bite of her sandwich and slides the papers back towards him. She points at the name before picking up her sandwich again. “Why are you going on vacation?”

“Bradley has decided to finally pack up his mom’s house so I'm going to help him.” Willow answers.

“And the kids?”

“They’re coming with us.” Willow turns to her husband. “We're gonna drive through and stop in Texas. See your parents and sisters.”

“That’ll be good. Good distraction from it all.” Jake smiles at her. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m glad you and Rooster are close.”

“Well we needed a godfather for our son.” Willow laughs.

“Don't remind me.” Willow could see Jake facepalming in his mind. “I'd rather have it be Coyote.”

“Regret demanding that he be Elle’s, don't ya?” Willow teases.

“I regret it everyday because you threatened to kick me out of the room. I was scared I was gonna miss it.” Jake retorts.

“Don’t piss off a pregnant woman. Definitely don't piss off one who had to give up a year of her career because you can’t pull out.” She glares.

“You win, I was an ass. I’m sorry darlin.” He leans close to her, his signature smile plastered on his face, puppy eyes in full effect or as Willow calls them the Seresin Pity Eyes since Jake, the kids, and Jake’s entire family could do it but her.

“Apology,” she kisses his waiting lips. “Not accepted.” She smirks, turning back to her food and ignoring the shocked look on his face.

“Puppy dog eyes always work on you!” He wines.

“No. They work when Beckett does them.”

“But Beck is literally just a mini version of me.” Jake drags the eyes back out. Willow looks at her husband. Every inch of Beck screamed Jake. Bright green eyes, shaggy blond hair, even the little southern twain he picked up from his father and sister.

“With my attitude. That's why he’s a mama’s boy.” Willow laughs. “Same way Elle looks like me but has your attitude. Plus she’s had you wrapped around her finger since the day you found out we were expecting. Daddy’s girl.”

“Bullshit they’re both daddy’s little angels and you know it.” Jake smiles. The kids love their dad, they really do. Whenever Willow had said no to anything they immediately went to Jake and all they had to do was whip out the puppy eyes and he was a goner.

“They love you. They're gonna miss you this year.”

“I hate leaving them.” Jake sighs. “I think we should bring them to the docs like we did when Elle was little. Let them say bye to everyone.”

“I think that's a great idea. Beck will definitely love it.” Willow smiles. “You leave Sunday right?” Her smile drops on the topic, bringing it up was honestly not how she planned to spend their lunch hour but she knew it was better to bring it up sooner rather than later.

“Yea, I was thinking we could get everyone together for a beach day on Saturday. One last hoo-rah with the kids?”

“Sounds like a great plan, I know they’ll love to get some time with you all before you leave.”

“I’ll let the team know.” Jake smiles at her. When she doesn’t return the smile, Jake knows she’s in her head. “Hey, you know I love you right?” Willow simply nods, focusing on the sandwich before her. “Darlin.” Jake reaches over to grab her hand. “I’m going to come home to you like always if that's what you’re worried about.”

“Its not that.” She glances up at him. “And you can’t say like always. You almost didn’t a few times.”

“I’m here aren't I?”

Willow gave him the look, the ‘don’t be a smartass with me’ look. “You’re just going to miss so much. First day of school, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, all of it. I don’t know if I can do that on my own.”

“Hey. You are the most badass person in the Navy by far. You are going to be able to handle this next year with grace and beauty as you do everything else.” Jake kisses her temple as he stands. “I gotta get back to my meetings. I love you. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Bye. Love you.” Willow replies softly. Jake sighs as he turns to leave.

His detachments were always rough. Willow and Jake have been leaving each other behind on and off their entire careers, it has always been difficult leaving. And it only got worse when Elle was born. Willow was called away less after Elle’s birth, part of that being Ice’s doing, but the more Jake got called away the more strained their relationship got. Willow felt so alone in the early years of their marriage that when she made a comment about divorce to Ice, Jake was on a plane home the next day. After months of counseling, leave time, and minimal communication, Jake and Willow had worked through their rough patch.

But then Jake got called out a week before Beck was born, and it almost set them back to where they were all those years ago. Jake knew this one would strain them again. He just hoped that this trip with Bradley would make it less so since she wouldn’t be alone.

“Please don’t go daddy.” Beck cries as his small arms are wrapped tightly around Jake’s neck.

“I’ll be back before you know it, little man.” Jake holds his son, trying to soothe his little cries. “You’re gonna have so much fun with mama and sissy, even Uncle Rooster is gonna be there.” Jake internally groaned after he made the comment, still hating that his kids took to their “Uncle Rooster” too easily for his liking.

“Am I gonna see gramma and grampa too?” Beck sniffles, still not releasing his dad.

Jake chuckles softly. “Yea and Aunties and your cousins.” Jake pries his son’s arms away from his neck to look him in the eyes. “You’re gonna have so much fun, you won’t even know I’m gone.” Jake smiles at the little boy.

“I’ll know you’re gone.” He pouts. Jake stands from his crunched position, pulling Beck up into his arms.

“Yea, but all you gotta do is talk to mama and she’ll make you feel better. Isn’t that right, mama?” Jake asks as Willow comes over from saying her farewells to Phoenix, Bob, and Coyote.

“Absolutely.” She smiles while kissing her husband’s cheek. “Now give daddy a big hug.” Beck quickly relatches to his father.

“I’ll miss you, daddy.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, little man.” Jake holds Beck tightly. “Can you go to mama so I can hug your sister?”

Beck only nods softly, still crying as he’s passed into Willow’s arms. She whispers to him as she walks over to the rest of the pilots so he can say bye to them too.

Jake smiles at his wife and son before turning to his oldest who stands off to the side, alone. “Come here, pumpkin.” Elle's eyes fill with tears as she moves into her dad’s arms.

“I don’t like it when you leave.” She softly cries into her father’s chest.

“I know pumpkin. I don’t like leaving either.” He holds his daughter close.

“But you have to go.” Jake only nods at her words, wanting to hold his little girl just a little longer. He wouldn’t be able to say she’s his little girl come next year. She’s turning 13 next May, a teenager. Jake lets a few tears slip when he realizes what he’s missing. Beckett starts Kindergarten in 2 months. Elle graduates from 8th grade next year. And he’s going to miss Willow’s captain promotion come September that Cyclone had privately informed Jake about a month ago.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Jake kisses her head softly before pulling back to look into her green eyes, identical to his own. “Look after your mama and brother okay?”

“I always do.” Elle smiles softly.

“That’s my girl.” He kisses her temple before tickling her sides softly. “Why don’t you help you brother say bye to everyone so I can talk to Mama.” Elle nods, giving her dad one more hug before she runs over to the large group of aviators surrounding the 4 year old.

“Hey handsome.” Willow smiles as she makes her way back to her husband.

“Darlin.” Jake smiles, pulling his wife in for a kiss.

“They’re gonna miss you.” She pulls back from the kiss to rest her head on his chest, she watches the majority of the dagger squad hugging her kids.

“I’ll miss them more.” Jake smiles softly. “But mostly you.” He holds her tightly until their superiors are giving the signal to leave. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Willow looks up, kissing him one final time. “Come home safely.”

“Always darling.” Jake follows his friends towards the carrier as Elle and Beck come up beside their mom. Willow lifts Beck from the ground to hold her still crying son.

“It’s okay, little man. Look, daddy’s waving from the boat.” Beck looks up and waves back at Jake one final time before he disappears from their sight.

“Grandma! Grandpa!”

“Oh there’s my precious grandbabies!” Jake’s mom pulls Elle and Beck into a massive hug before they pull away to hug their grandpa. “Hi sweetheart.” She turns to hug Willow.

“Hey Mama.” Willow smiles, hugging her mother in law. “This is Bradley, also called Rooster, my god-brother.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“Please, just Mama. Everyone calls me that, no point in changing it now.” She chuckles. “Come on in! Nancy should be here any minute with the kids for dinner so the kids can see each other.”

“I see why the kids use Mama instead of mom or mommy.” Bradley laughs, following Mama, Willow falling instep with him.

“Good ol southern boy. That's Jake.” She laughs. “He actually started it, said he couldn’t imagine our kids calling me anything different.”

“How are you holding up?” Bradley questions.

“The same as I was when you asked me yesterday at my house. I miss him but I’m fine.” Willow groans.

“Auntie Willow!”

Willow turns at the call of her name, 18 year old twins Maddelyn and Gracelyn come barreling down the hallway. “My favorite nieces!” Willow tugs them both into a hug. “What are you two doing here? I thought you’d be off enjoying your last summer of freedom. Excited to start at UT?”

“Actually…” Grace starts and Maddie continues, finishing each other's thoughts.

“We start at the Naval Academy in August.”

“No way! That's so exciting!” Willow smiles at the girls. “Do you know what you wanna do when you graduate?”

“Aviation.” Maddie answers.

“Just like you and Uncle Jake.” Grace continues.

“Well I look forward to seeing Lieutenants Seresin in my Top Gun class in a few years.” Willow smiles. “I think Elle and Beck are in the backyard.”

“Race ya!” Grace shouts, sprinting to the backdoor. Willow laughs watching the girls run up to each other. Despite the seven year age gap, Elle saw Maddie and Grace as her older sisters and loved every opportunity to see them.

“I see the girls already beat me here.”

“Hey Nancy.” Willow turns to face her sister in law. “Yea twins are already outside with Elle. Hey Tommy Boy.” Willow ruffles the hair of her 6 year old nephew.

“Hi Auntie Willow. Where’s Uncle Jake?”

“He’s on a big boat for work.”

“But he promised more plane facts.” The boy pouts.

“You know, I brought someone with me.” Willow kneels down before the boy. “Tommy, this is Rooster. He’s a pilot like me and Uncle Jake.”

“Do you know about cool planes too?”

“Yea, in fact I know more than your Uncle Jake does.” Rooster answers, squatting down to Tommy’s level.

“But Uncle Jake knows everything!” Tommy defends, always quick to defend his favorite uncle.

“You’re right. Uncle Jake knows everything but I know beyond everything.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Why don’t you show Rooster where the living room is and ask him a million questions?” Willow suggests. Tom immediately grabs Bradley by the hand and drags him away from his mother and aunt.

“Hey Willow.”

“Hey Nance.” Willow wraps her sister-in-law in a tight hug. Of all of Jake’s sisters, Nancy was the closest to Willow. “Before you ask. I’m okay.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Nancy laughs, leading towards the kitchen.

“Bullshit.” Willow laughs.

They had only spent one night on the ranch much to the kids' dismay before embarking on another two days' drive to Virginia Beach. Elle and Beck slept most of the way there, giving Willow and Rooster time to catch up as they switched off driving, talking, and sleeping. When they finally arrived at Bradley and Willow’s childhood home, both kids were fast asleep in the backseat.

“I’ll grab Beck and take the keys, can you grab Elle?” Willow asks, putting the truck into park. Bradley nods passing the house keys into her awaiting hand before moving to pull his niece from her seat.

Willow gently unbuckles Beck and pulls him into her arms. He stirs in her arms, and mutters something not even Willow understands. “Shhh, go back to sleep. It’s okay buddy.” The boy nods off as Willow unlocks the front door, Bradly just behind her with Elle in his arms.

“I’ll put Elle in Mav’s old room, Beck can have mine since it's across from your’s.”

Willow nods, “Where are you gonna sleep?”

“I’ll take the couch.”

“Nonsense, Bradley. At least sleep in your mom’s room.” Willow protests, stopping outside of Bradley’s bedroom. As Bradley sets Elle down on the bed in the room next door.

“I’d rather not go in there, Vix. Not yet at least.” Bradley answers, closing the door.

“Then take your room, Beck can just sleep in my room.”

“I probably won't sleep much, Vix.” Bradley pulls Beck from her. “Get some rest, I’ll keep an eye on the kids if they wake up.” Willow nods, opening her own bedroom door that sits identical to how it looked 27 years ago. “You guys never messed with my room?” She asks when she feels Bradley’s presence behind her.

“I was the only one here for a couple of years before I left for the academy.” Bradley smiles. “Get some rest, Vix.”

“Night Rooster.” Willow barely closes her door, leaving it open to where she can see across the hall to where Beck slept. Laying in her bed she can clearly note the lack of Jake’s scent, something she never spent more than a few days without.

Usually, one of Jake’s hoodies would be wrapped around her but the two she had brought were currently attached to her children, both of which had gravitated to sleeping in their father’s childhood bedroom when they were in Texas. She sighed as she wrapped herself in the blankets, pulling one of the pillows for her to hug in her sleep, soon drifting off.

“Mama?” It wasn’t the question that woke her but the soft sniffles that pulled Willow from her sleep, immediately wanting to check on the child before her. Opening her eyes, she could see Beck standing to the side of the bed, tear streaks visible on his cheeks, proving along his sniffles that he had been crying.

“What’s wrong little man?” She can see his small frame drowning in Jake’s sweatshirt.

“I want daddy.” He lets out, barely over a whisper. “He didn’t come get me when I started crying.” That broke Willow’s heart. Anytime one of the kids cried in the middle of the night, Jake was quick to pull them from their beds and bring them in to sleep between him and Willow.

“You wanna sleep with me tonight?” Willow offers, pulling the blankets back. “I know its not the same without daddy.”

“Please mama?”

“Come here.” Beck scrambles up onto the bed tucking himself against Willow pleading for her to sing to him. She chuckles softly, blaming Jake’s habit of singing to Beck every night when she was pregnant. She sings softly, whatever song first came to mind, holding her son tightly to her as he falls back asleep. Jake’s scent radiates off the hoodie, pulling her to sleep as well.

“Mama! Mama!” Willow is shaken from her sleep. “Uncle Rooster made pancakes!”

“Did he?” Willow yawns, tugging Beck back into the bed.

“Mama! Come on!” Beck giggles as she wraps her arms around him.

“Mama! Beck!” Elle walks into the room. “Uncle Rooster is threatening to eat all the pancakes.”

“Come here.” Willow calls over her daughter.

“He won’t let me eat without yo—!” Willow tugs Elle down next to her, holding both of the kids.

“No, we're having morning cuddles.” Willow laughs, tickling the kids' sides. “How’d you sleep, baby girl?”

“I’m not a baby anymore.”

“Mmm you’re still my baby.” Willow tugs Elle closer. “Always gonna be my baby girl even when you have your own.”

“Hey I thought I sent the munchkins to get you. Not go back to bed.” Bradley asks, stopping in the doorway.

“Mama holding us hostage Uncle Rooster!” Beck squeals as Willow tickles him again.

“Oh no! Uncle Rooster will save you!”

“Mama, no!” Beck squeals again when suddenly Elle joins in. “Ellie!”

“Oh Miss Elle getting in the middle.” Willow laughs, going after her daughter.

“Ahh Mama!”

Bradley takes the opportunity to pull Beck from the bed and over his shoulders. “Quick! Escape!” Bradley takes off running through the house.

“I don’t think so!” Willow jumps up to follow the boys before her phone starts ringing. “Elle can you hand me my phone?” Willow calms her breathing as Elle passes the phone.

“I’ll go get Beck settled for breakfast.”

“Thanks, sweetie.” Willow ruffles her hair as she answers the restricted number. “Commander Seresin.”

“Hey darlin.”

“Jake?”

“How was Texas?” Jake asks.

“It was good. Tommy was really sad that you weren’t there.”

“I’m gonna have to make that up when I get back.” Jake chuckles.

“How’s carrier life?”

“Missing you guys. How are the kids holding up?”

“Missing you. Beck was pretty upset that you didn’t come pick him up when he started crying.” Willow sighs. “He even had me sing him to sleep.”

“God I hate this.” Jake sighs. “Can I talk to them?”

“Yea. They’ll probably take the rest of your call so I love you.”

“I love you too, darlin.” Willow switches the phone to speaker phone and walks out to the dining room.

“Beck, Elle. I got a surprise. Say hi.” Willow says as she sets her phone on the table between the two.

“Hello?” Elle questions.

“Hey pumpkin.”

“Daddy!” Beck shouts, mouth full of pancakes. “Are you coming back?” Willow’s eyes water as she listens to their exchange. Bradley looks up from the stove to see her longing stare and quickly wraps up the pancake he’s working on.

“Vix.” He whispers. “Come here.” He leads her to her bedroom where he finally lets his volume rise. “You okay?” As if that question was finally the key, Willow lets out a sob and Bradley wraps her in a hug, “It’s okay, let it out.” He whispers over and over, waiting for her to slowly calm down.

“I miss him so much.” She sobs.

“I know, Vix.” Bradley sighs. “He’ll be home before you know it.”

“I want him home now.” She cries. “I can’t do this on my own.” She sobs.

“Maybe you should talk to Hang—“

“No!” Willow stops him. “He worries enough as it is when he’s gone. Especially after the amount of times we almost divorced over this. I tell Jake how I’m feeling he’ll retire. And we both know how much he wants to make admiral.”

“Vixen you have roughly 360 days until he comes home.” Bradley reasons. “You’re just going to sit in silence and pretend everything is okay?”

“No. I’m just not gonna tell Jake. Or the kids.” Willow replies. “If he finds out, he’ll come home. He’ll even steal a jet if he had to.”

“Do you at least have someone you can talk to?”

“I have you.” She shrugs, already acting like she didn’t just lose it over a single phone call.

“A professional Vix. You need someone who can help you work through this.”

“I’m fine, Rooster. This isn’t my first rodeo.” Willow turns around, takes a deep breath and then moves back into the main part of the house. “Hey. Dad have to go?” She asks, seeing her children silently eating.

“Yea.” Elle responds.

“But Daddy said he’d call next week!” Beck smiles.

“Remember Beck, he may not get to talk next week. We just gotta wait.” Elle reminds her younger brother. Willow offers a small smile to her daughter, knowing the amount of times Elle got let down cause Jake couldn’t keep a phone call date or would call after bedtime, just barely missing her. “Oh mama, you got a missed call here.” Elle hands her mom her phone.

Willow eyes the voicemail, recognizing the local number before hitting play.

“Good morning, this is Admiral Parker Smith. I’m trying to reach Commander Willow Seresin. If you can give me a call back at…” Willow was barely listening as the Admiral rattled off the contact info.

She dials in the callback number, reading it from the voicemail transcript.

“Admiral Smith.”

“Good morning Admiral Smith. This is Commander Seresin returning your call.”

“Commander, perfect timing. I heard you were in Virginia Beach.”

“I am. Was there something you needed me for?” Willow replies.

“We're sending out a team on an urgent mission next week from Oceana and we need a team leader.” Admiral Smith reports. “Now I read the Uranium Mission file, you headed that squadron did you not?”

“I did.”

“Wonderful! I have papers here for you Commander. You’ll be leading this mission.”

“Sir, I’m here on vacation with my children. Their father just left for a year-long deployment.” Willow protests.

“I’m sorry Commander but you’re exactly what we need for this task. If we had another option we’d take it.” Willow sighs, she glances over at Bradley who’s playing with Elle and Beck as they clean up breakfast.

“How soon do you need me to report?” She asks.

“Tomorrow.”

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