#A Thousand Thousand of Your Lives (emet-selch)

[silver-strings-of-fate]

@lights-flickering-flame asked// 'Since my master is gone. Does this mean I'm your familiar now?' He still has not quite figured out he's his own person yet. -Wren, for Emet-Selch

Emet-Selch looked down at the little rabbit man. Leave it to Azem to make such an annoying thing.

Though, a small part of him was glad to see Wren once more. A living memory of better days. Though, Hythlodaeus was always more fond of Azem's little whimsies.

"Of course not. The last thing I need at the moment is to babysit their pet."

[voidsentprinces]

Shadowbringer Context: Emet-Selch: I have lived a THOUSAND! THOUSAND OF YOUR LIVES! I will revive Zodiark and bring back what was lost to me! WoL: That's insane! Endwalker Context: Hythlodaeus: Greetings. WoL: Understandable, I'd also burn the world a hundred times over for him. Hythlodaeus: Pardon? WoL: Nothing.

[godmused]

random emet-selch quotes

adjust pronouns, names, and terminology as necessary.

I should be the one to sigh. What, have you no words for me either? No matter. I've long grown weary of this mummery. Well well, we have a historian in our midst. That spares me a lengthy explanation. Please. Did I not explicitly tell you that we would be meeting again soon? If aught threatens the balance 'twixt light and dark, it falls to you to remove it. You've committed the cardinal sin of boring me. You have ample means at your disposal. Behold, a sorcerer of eld! Tremble before my glory! Do not approach me, do not speak to me, and do not dare presume to treat me as a friend. I am merely carrying out my duty. Oh dear. Have I touched a nerve? You always were an easy one to read. I pity you, I do. As they say: ignorance is bliss. And I know how much happier you would be not knowing the things you know. Such a waste of time and energy. Both yours, and mine. Mayhap there is another way. One which does not require bloodshed… Why waste your final moments in futile defiance? Weary wanderer ─ you've no fight left to fight! No life left to live! The victor shall write the tale, and the vanquished become its villain! What? You thought ancient beings like us incapable of crying? Well, rest assured that if your heart can be broken, then so can mine! Ours is a struggle to restore both mankind and the world to their rightful state. Viewed thus, our goals are one and the same. I also take offense at my portrayal as a megalomaniacal madman. Though you defeated me, my ideals are inviolate. Invincible. Remember. Remember that we once lived. Truly, though, I must commend you for embracing your role as emperor. You play the part of the determined ruler well. Sometimes, even I catch myself believing! For now, I shall resume my shadowy vigil. Whatever you do, make sure it's worth watching, would you? Who do you take me for? But yes, moral relativism and all that. Do not squander it. The legacy I leave you. I do not consider you to be truly alive. Ergo, I will not be guilty of murder if I kill you. So come. Shed your preconceptions. See beyond the unscrupulous villains you take us for. And thus did the olive branch wither and die. Pity. Well, let no man say I did not try, futile as it was. I have lived a thousand thousand of your lives. I have broken bread with you, fought with you, grown ill, grown old, sired children and yes, welcomed death’s sweet embrace. Flattery will get you nowhere, dear boy. As I have told you a thousand times before: I like to watch. Nothing more. Though we may sow the seeds of chaos, it is man who tends them, he who reaps their bountiful harvest. Really. I have no need of deception, and even if I did, I assure you: you would find it quite indistinguishable from the truth. Elidibus may be an insufferable bore, but he is no fool. His choices as emissary seldom err. I played my part to perfection. I had earned my rest. And then, thanks to Lahabrea's crowning act of idiocy, our favorite emissary sees fit to summon me back. The future you seek is not the past we loved. That is why we fought, and why I lost. Prove yourselves heroes brave and true, and I will be glad to embrace you as allies. You think us the same? You think your tattered soul of equal worth to those I lost? In the beginning, everyone lived nigh for eternity. Such was the natural order of things. But like so much else, this was taken from you. For good or ill, I am immortal. Provided I have the inclination, I can always begin anew: scheme and conspire to my heart's content. By our gathered might must we reclaim these vain reflections. But conquest is the easy part. The true challenge begins once the dust has settled ─ quenching the glowing embers of animosity and maintaining a semblance of peace. This requires the conqueror to treat the conquered with dignity, and the conquered to let bygones be bygones. A difficult feat to achieve. Lest you forget, I made you a promise. I have no intention of meddling with your mission. I come only to observe.

[silver-strings-of-fate]

"Well, because I want to. Need there be another reason?" He had never been terribly interested in deep philosophical questions of purpose and what not. Everyone could decide for themselves what they did with their lives. He might judge them, but it wasn't his business otherwise.

Getting to his feet, Emet-Selch stretched his arms. His old joints cracked unpleasantly. Ugh, he needed another few decades to nap...

"Yes, a distraction is always nice. Have you a taste for theatre? I've found settling down to watch a play is always a good way to pass the time."

"Doesn't that seem a bit contradictory, though? If there's no end, then why…" Live? Create life, that had to be judged? Balance, he can somewhat see that. Some creations were too dangerous. But to judge those that neither harmed nor helped…

He shook his head, letting out a sigh that was too aggressive for his liking. How much was all of this truly his thoughts on the matter, now? It wasn't as if he truly thought of this before, right? "Nevermind. It's lingering questions."

He looked up to the stars again, before this time getting up with a small, tired chuckle. "I think I just need a distraction, is all. Philosophy's not my strong suit." And, well, he was growing tired of thinking his way in circles. There wasn't much else he could do with that, for now at least.

[ahrisaamariyo]

started thinking about emet-selch again. imagine that one of the people you love most in the world decides to sacrifice himself to (hopefully) avert the coming disaster. and then the other person you love most dies, like everyone else, everyone else except you, in that very disaster. and then you live thousands of years and become a person neither of them would've loved in your quest to bring them back

[hythlodaeus-mynewoldfriend]

Spotify ask number 63

Where does your body go when I leave you alone? Would your heart know if I met you in a brand new set of bones? 'Cause you may see me in different bodies Hiding below with the same soul I could have walked by you a thousand times Different places, different lives

-"Same Soul" by PVRIS

Thank you for sending this in! I had this song last year funny enough for the gpose prompts so similar take but with a slightly different interpretation this year! Have my Azems and their various shards! Complete pictures and info below the cut (spoilers for ShB, EW, Panda raids, Post-EW patches, and FFXVI)

Deimos and Phobos

The originals, the start of it all! During the Final Days in looking for a solution that would prevent more death and sacrifice Deimos became overwhelmed and devised a bit of a crazy plan he wasn't even sure would work. Deimos growing up had heterochromia, knowing it was one of his eyes having just slightly different DNA he took a page out of his old mentor Lahabrea's book and tried to see if he too could split himself in two. The difference in being able to keep a full soul and full power laid in Deimos making the basis on that small piece of different DNA, and so was Phobos brought into fruition!

note: characters on the left/listed first are shards of Deimos and those on the right/listed second are shards of Phobos

Demos Reyes and Siberite Akagane (The Source)

The WoLs and the ones to avert the Final Days, the promised kept to one Emet-Selch made thousands of year earlier. The two couldn't get a long at first but over time and through many trials they found common ground and supported one another and developed a kinship that goes beyond friendship. With the Final Days averted the two are living out a version of what their past selves would have done, with Demos settling down and leading a more quiet life, with the occasional adventure, and with Siberite exploring the world with all it has to offer and helping those met along the way with no sign of stopping.

Unnamed Archeologist and Ardbert (The First)

"There was a man. A researcher who pored over these pieces. He offered us work when we needed it. Slaying beasts, delivering provisions... A funny old bugger, he was, but he had a good heart. He believed this first painting dated back to a time of myth and legends. A tribute to the heroes of a long-forgotten era. The story went that it was rediscovered by an explorer from Ronka, who was so struck by its majesty that a second painting was commissioned, commemorating the heroes of their day. "One day, you will all be here too," he said. "Heroes immortalized forever. Maybe I'll paint you myself!" I had a good laugh at that. We were only trying to make our way, after all. Being heroes couldn't have been further from our minds. But it seems...he actually went and did it. Before or after the Flood, I wonder...Do you suppose your deeds will warrant an addition to this collection? Or some other kind of monument?" -Ardbert, Shadowbringers

What can I say he explains all you need to know.

Golbez and Durante (The Thirteenth)

Two friends trying to save their world from impending darkness, were unsuccessful in their endeavor resulting in one having to kill the other. With his best friend dead and the world still falling apart Durante took up Golbez's armor and name in the hopes of being able to eventually free his home from the cycle of darkness that befell the land. His methods would prove destructive and nearly be the end of him, had he not been reminded of the friendship that he once had. This pair shows just what can happen when one loses the other after having met and forged a bond, their souls don't like be parted in that way and will lash out in line with who they are in that life.

Clive Rosfield and Midadol "Mid" Telamon (Valisthea)

Both souls on their first lives in their world Clive and Mid met for the first time not long after her father's death and since then she's been whirlwind of a friend to Clive. A prodigy engineer Mid created The Enterprise to initially be a last resort for escaping the Blight, but seeing all that Clive had done so far to stop that from happening put him in charge of the vessel and did everything in her power to help him save their world. While neither know that they share the same soul Clive can't help but be reminded of Siberite, the au ra he met while on a different world, when Mid is teasing him or speaking from the heart, while Mid always felt an instant connection to and faith in the man that made it feel like they had been friends since children and not just the five years. There is only two people that know of them having the same soul in this world and that is Barnabas and Ultima, the two using it to their advantage to get Clive to Kanver.

[cidnangarlond]

who are those guys in your dni (the curiouser)

emet-selch is this guy (in an edit I made):

short version he's thousands of years old and wayyyyy back in the days of PARADISE shit hit the fan and the world started uhhh ending. so half the population gave themselves t. this isn't gonna be short but anyway half the population gave themselves to make this god to save it etc etc things get even worse AGAIN somehow and to save the remainder of the world venat aka hydaelyn (capital g God in ffxiv) splits the world into 14 shards. now emet-selch manages to survive this "sundering" intact along with two of his colleagues and/or friends and they go well we know what we have to do now. which is merge the 14 pieces back. now each of the 14 "shards" has life on it. whole populations and lands and one expansion happens entirely on one of these shards and you visit another in the expansion after. there's more details with that which are very fun but basically there's life on these worlds. and emet-selch (and lahabrea and elidibus) really do Not care they are going to be exterminating like. millions of lives. and they do that! they destroy SEVEN DIFFERENT SHARDS! and fuck up most of the thirteenth so it's irreparably damaged but still around

emet-selch also went "HRMMM how can I sow maximum discourse in eorzea to bring about these horrible moments called "calamities" in which one shard is merged back with the source... oh I know!" so he founds this military empire garlemald the garlean empire (he possesses the body of a man named solus and builds the country up and declares himself emperor) to go forth and conquer and occupy lands and enslave and conscript those who live there and cause war and many other issues. to ensure the maximum amount of human strife possible. he does all this because he *checks notes* misses his friends from thousands of years ago and also *flips page* tells you directly multiple times he does not feel bad for killing what is likely millions of people and that he felt entirely justified in what he did.

unfortunately people are in love with him regardless. I think he's a great villain he's a sarcastic smarmy asshole who does a lot of posturing and he's deeply fascinating but my GOD people ship their characters with him to the high heavens for some reason. like okay "I miss my friends wah" is an insane justification for doing All Of This and he May have been tempered/under the thrall of a god for thousands of years but brooo it's been millennia just give it UPPPP it's mainly his fans that are super fucking annoying to me they try and justify everything or just loudly and unabashedly defend him. like no I want that fascist dictator DEAD I want that soggy ancient man DEAD. or at least they're so loud about their ship that that's all that matters and just will not shut up about it. OH and emet-selch is a title not his real name his REAL NAME believe it or not is HADES so you can imagine! when people write about their character in The Before Times who their soul Originally Was what name they give their character!!! it's not original in the least!!!!!

he's very snape-esque. there's a large overlap in my mind of him and his fans and snape and snape wives.

okay NOW onto zenos. pictured here alongside an old discord message:

(not pictured was them saying "he looks like he'd call me a slur" which is accurate! he probably would!)

he is emet-selch's great-grandson. he is an asshole and more or less like psychosexually obsessed with you because you're the only one who has ever posed an ounce of a challenge to him and that's why he becomes so obsessed with you and fighting you.

he's viceroy or something of one nation, ala mhigo, that garlemald has occupied for many years now and also of another, doma, in the far east, though he has this lady yotsuyu (she's an antagonist and also hot and has a shitty backstory and she DOES kill her abusive family members so. that's cool) as the acting viceroy of doma. either way he sees anyone not garlean as beneath him and refers to not only you but literally everyone else as "savages" ESPECIALLY the people who live in ala mhigo but yeah.

he just like. kills indiscriminately. he has this giant metal fucking thing with three different swords in it that he took from people he killed and lets this thing chose which sword he's gonna use at random. he treats killing as a sport he's gone pro in "wanton slaughter" he can and will and Does cut people down for no reason other than he wanted to. negative conscience. doesn't care he's crown prince of garlemald. also, emet-selch as solus "dies" thus causing a brief succession crisis before varis (zenos's dad) becomes emperor and then zenos kills him causing a full-blown war of succession in garlemald which tears the nation apart and so many different members of the royal family are fighting for the throne and ultimately all of them fucking die from killing each other and zenos naturally does not care or feel bad he's just like UGH WHERE'S THAT CHAMPION OF EORZEA (aka You)... WHERE ARE THEY... and his gay jester fandaniel is there also now he's fun.

anyway doesn't care he's in line to throne he just craves bloodsport and power and getting stronger and after you kick his ass he kills himself because he's. happy about it. that he was bested. but then his body gets possessed by one of emet-selch's old besties elidibus to cause More problems and then zenos's soul hops into another body and makes his way back before elidibus is like god you're so fucking stubborn FINE take your fuckass body back I already fought the champion of eorzea in your body I've got other shit to do more pots to stir.. goobye

fortunately when you and him fight at the end of the universe you kill him (HE BETTER BE DEAD OR I'M GONNA BE PISSED!!!) and leave him there so hopefully HOPEFULLYYYYYYY he doesn't come back. his backstory is varis fucking sucks and was a shitty father and now zenos is Like That as a result there's a short story somewhere about his childhood and this guy he had train him and then ultimately killed him and decided he was going to keep fighting and killing people to get stronger and now here we are. his fans are also so fucking annoying I hate this blonde bitch I do not think he's hot I don't care if he's got some weird predator/prey mentality when it comes to you/your character and him he's a fascist prick and I'm glad he's dead AND I HOPE HE NEVER COMES BACK. THIS BLONDE BITCH IS DEAD AND IT IS GOOD HE IS DEAD. WE DO NOT NEED TO RETURN TO HIM EVER

making fandaniel aka funnydaniel aka damndaniel his silly gay jester was fun BECAUSE. fandaniel was one of emet-selch's besties from way back when but Did get sundered so they found his soul and went Remember Who You Are and shoved him in the body of a gay little freak named. oh my god why can't I remember his name that's so funny. I had to look it up. fandaniel gets put in asahi's body. asahi was OBSESSED with zenos oh my god he saw this man cut down doman ninjas and samurai who were trying to protect their homes and their land and asahi went I Want Him. unfortunately for him zenos never gave him the time of day and died unrecognized by his favorite homicidal maniac. asahi was also the adoptive brother of yotsuyu and she killed him so good it was so cathartic *chefs kiss*. who cheered who clapped because I did. anyway so when damndaniel turns up in asahi's body - by the way when these guys do all that it's like putting a costume on to them they don't retain memories or anything of whoever they're in - he's all DO I LOOK FAMILIAR TO YOU MY LORD... and zenos is sitting there like "*checking his nails* ...no." look up the fandaniel cutscenes those are funny he's a fun villain.

but no yeah zenos he fuckin sucks I think his fans are super annoying too and also he's blonde. OH he changes into this class/job called Reaper and as such an entity from the void is attached to him he gives it souls in exchange for his powers and abilities. and you get to meet who this void being is because after he dies they change back into a human person (kinda) and HER NAME the name shes given anyway is ZERO and shes cool as fuck

what if you were from a doomed shard and ended up becoming a voidsent attached to a homicidal bastard fascist maniac and when he dies you become a person again and now you have to relearn how to be a person because it's been A LONG TIME and you learn the joy of spicy foods. and also you're a lesbian

[silver-strings-of-fate]

"I'm doing quite well, actually. The Hall of Rhetoric has been quite busy lately. Plenty to keep me occupied." And to keep his mind off of the whole situation. He couldn't deny that he was a little jealous. But he was perfectly fine waiting for another seat to open up. He wanted to feel like he earned it.

"Though I do worry what you and Azem will get up to without my supervision. Try not to burn down the whole Convocation, yes?"

He shook his head with a sigh. Going back and forth about this now wasn't going to do them any good. Lie it might've been was he still didn't think himself a good fit. "I suppose. How are you faring, with all of this?"

He certainly hoped Hades got the chance to be on the convocation sooner, rather than later. It didn't sit right to him, seeing a dear friend be shut out like this. He'd rather it be himself. Though he could keep an eye on Azem better - all the more shenanigans they could get wrapped up in, after all.

[silver-strings-of-fate]

@lights-flickering-flame asked// Azem begins giving soft pets to a certain shoebill that's been watching over her. She had completed her puzzle and the few books that had been brought to entertain her while Hades was away. This is also a means to say she wants her dearest to come spend some time with her. -for emet

--

Emet-Selch felt the little tug at the corner of his mind that indicated his familiar had something worth showing him. Though in the past, such a thing would indicate an emergency needing his immediate attention, ever since Azem had awaken...

"Already?" He said as he stepped out of the dark portal into Azem's room. "If you keep calling me back like this, we're never going to get anything done."

[waffliesinyoface]

*kicks door open*

so i have thoughts about Shadowbringers 5.3. I'm rotating it in my mind, thinking about the context it gives, and speculating on where the story might go in Endwalker.

this is under a readmore because, obviously, spoilers.

Specifically, the crystals you get during this quest.

It's never stated as such, but I like to think that these are the archaic form of soul crystals. Stones holding the memories of those who passed before, that might be used to teach the next to fill that role.

Which is, basically, the idea behind every single job stone save machinist. (Because its a new class and the WoL is the first one to use that job stone.) You get new skills because you can attune to it better and can "remember" how to do more skills.

However, you gain the skills and techniques of those who came before you, but there's a distance to them. Like with the Echo - you gets glimpses into people's pasts, from their perspective. You can even get emotions from those memories, as evidenced by Fordola - but they're not your memories.

Which brings me to my next point:

It is all but outright stated that this crystal was yours, pre-sundering. It's been thousands of years, so you've reincarnated, but given the way Hythlodaeus talks about your past self, your innate nature persists.

So, I imagine that like. When you use that crystal - whether you choose to believe your WoL got the whole shebang or just flashes of the important bits - the memories do not have that distance. You know that you never did any of that in this life, but you still think the same way, so the memories feel exactly like your own memories.

It's also implied that the one responsible for making your crystal in secret, was Emet Selch. Which is why he is equal parts friendly, disappointed, pissed off, and annoyed.

This moment of symbolism is something unique to my own playthrough, and I brought this up back in 5.0, but I thought it was kind of interesting how my own outfit choices echoed his own. Black military garb with gold paldrons and red accents. Even down to the length and the same strip of red down the back. His is an outfit of political office, while Alyssa's is that of a frontline combatant, but there's a shared aesthetic.

(And, before anyone says he's wearing those colors because they're the colors of the Garlean Empire.... he made that empire. He's the one who chose those colors.)

Which just adds an extra bit of flavor once you have the context of who you were.

Imagine your bestie reincarnates. And she doesnt remember you, but she still acts the same, and even has the same taste... but also she's against everything you stand for, and she has a bunch of new friends who think you're an asshole.

Is it any fucking wonder he acts like that.

Also, like. Obviously, the WoL is against the rejoining, because slaughtering whole worlds is really bad, actually. But depending on how much you get from the crystal - at this point, at least, it's up to the player's interpretation - you can probably empathize with the 3 unsundered ascians, even if you don't agree with their goals and think their methods are monstrous. Because having those memories means you can remember what having an unsundered soul actually felt like.

So even if you would never agree with them because the cost is too high, and you don't share Emet Selch's "moral relativism" because those other people are people and their lives matter, jackass, you can now remember what it felt like, when you held the title of Azem. And you cant help but feel slightly emptier.

In terms of game mechanics, it's like, say, living a life without an MP bar. Then remembering what it felt like to cast magic. From then on you cannot help but know that it's not that you don't have an MP bar, but that it's been permanently set at 0 your whole life.

If you've never had something, you don't realize that its gone. But now you do, and no one else in the entire world can relate!! Alisaie even says as much at one point - she's only ever had a "sundered" soul, so she can't understand the Ascians' perspective.

The only other people who you might've talked to about that are dead because you, personally, drove a sword through them. Because they wanted to commit genocide, and someone had to stop them.

----------

This is in its own section because it's unrelated, but my speculation re: Endwalker plot beats is related to Elidibus and Zenos. Specifically, Elidibus was Zodiark's heart, but stopped because he was needed in his role as the Emissary. Which implies that Zodiark, at the moment, no longer has a heart.

And Zenos?

Zenos has a history of taking over primals and using them himself.

[silver-strings-of-fate]

Oh dear, now she had ideas. Still, at least she was having fun. Like jingling keys in front of a baby. "Then I expect a veritable rainbow of these odd grape things by the next month."

Though that statement did in fact catch his attention. Medea already had enough work to do in her role as Azem. For her to make time for a new creation must mean it was something she truly cared for. "A new species? Wonderful. I dread meeting them. Knowing you, they must be experts at annoying me specifically."

"Oh? Well now, you'll have to excuse that for now, but I'll have to save that idea for the next one - the head researcher asked me to pick one of the effects to start with, and I figured that would get your attention the quickest. But perhaps I could devise a potion that changes its effect depending on the color it becomes when observed, just for you." No doubt he would be able to just see the chaotic ideas turning and swiring in the ritualist's head. After all, she could make that herself, she wouldn't need the aid of concept creations. Such things were her specialty outside her role in the Convocation, after all! But for now, she shook her head, bright white eyes closing for just a moment.

"Well, I do have some news that might get your attention - that other concept I was checking on is another of mine that's doing very well - a new species, in fact." she continues on, "They're flourishing rather peacefully, but do love to play games with the researchers. Perhaps I'll bring you along next time I have to head to Elpis and introduce you to the few who are being tested... They'll take a liking to you immediately."

[picaroroboto]

Wizard #1: Emet-Selch, immortal sorcerer of eld, secretly your ex from a few thousand past lives ago. He aims to either convince you to join his cause, or failing that, ensure you transform into a monster capable of destroying the world. He introduces himself as an Ascian from the get-go, and plays the part of a villain perfectly, down to the theatrical mannerisms, yet follows you around being oddly helpful if a bit obnoxious, even explaining major lore to you if you ask, which ironically makes him in some ways more honest than our Wizard #2 -

Wizard #2: The Crystal Exarch, crystalline master of a crystalline tower, secretly a minor character from an old sidequest who has time-traveled from the bad timeline just to save your life. All-around great guy who is beloved by his people for almost single-handedly keeping life and civilization in the First alive in preparation for your arrival. He'd help you in just about any way you need - any way except giving any hint about his true name, face, or intentions, or the truth that you're not as immune to the Light corruption as he said you were.

Anyways that's what I meant when I said Shadowbringers was all about being lied to by wizards.

[voidsentprinces]

Its really easy to get people to start thinking they're reading things in Emet-Selch's voices all you gott A thousand, THOUSAND OF YOUR LIVES!

[a-pink-beau]

FFXIV Write 2024 #28 - Deleterious

[Note: A semi-sorta sequel to my Prompt #9 - Lend an Ear. Might not make as much sense without it.]

Summary: Beau reflects on her failed plan after returning from Mt. Gulg.

Content Warnings: Suicidal Ideation

Spoilers: Shadowbringers

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’ll be right behind you. I just need a moment,” Beau says to Lehon’a, both having finished their conversation with Ardbert. Ardbert had vanished, leaving the two alone to reflect on the events that had just transpired.

The last thing they remember is being atop Mt. Gulg, having collapsed from the light overtaking them. The Exarch taken by Emet-Selch.

“Okay, I’ll be just outside.,” Lehon’a replies, closing the door behind her.

Beau walks back over to the bed she had awoken in and sits down on it and gives a thousand yalm stare to the floor.

“That didn’t go how you imagined it, did it?” Beau looks up to see Arbdert has reappeared in the room. Beau quickly looks back to the floor, her eyes wide as she lets her tough exterior shatter. She needed to keep it together just long enough until Lehon’a was out of sight. Now that she is gone, Beau finds herself trembling.

“I would have killed everyone.” Beau grips the sheets of her bed where her hands lay. “Had the Crystal Exarch not been there, I would have killed everyone.” Ardbert stays in silence, unsure if he should reassure her or give her the cold hard reality that she may be right. “I’m so stupid.” She swings her hand up into her face, as to punish herself. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.” Three more blows to her brow.

“Now I don’t believe that will get us anywhere.” Ardbert takes a step closer to Beau. “I suppose in hindsight, there were some flaws in your plan.” Ardbert is trying and failing to be gentle with the Warrior of Darkness. Beau stands up and aggressively approaches Ardbert.

“One Lightwarden. Two Lightwardens. It wouldn’t have mattered! Because there is nowhere for the light to go!” Beau turns away and places a hand to her forehead. “Gods, even if it had worked and the Scions had been able to defeat the Lightwarden that I would have become, Lehon’a would just have to take in all that light anyway and it would have all been for nothing!”

“Then maybe we should be thankful the Exarch did what he did.” Beau doesn’t seem to acknowledge Arbert’s comment as she paces the room.

“I really thought I would be doing something. I really thought I had it all figured out.” She finds herself near the table in the room and lays hands on top of it. “But again I made the wrong decision.” She grabs a water pitcher and chucks it across the room, flying through Ardbert and clattering against the ground behind him. “Because I’m too stupid to make a proper plan!”

“Fortunate then, that you have surrounded yourself with the people that you have.” Ardbert’s voice remains calm but firm. Beau stares at him, angry. “You thought yesterday to be your last day alive, correct? But here you stand.” He smiles. “Because of your allies.” Beau’s shoulders deflate, her anger turning to grief.

“I’m not worth the effort,” Beau says, her voice having lost much of its volume.

“If we’re going to go that route, then think of it this way; they just saved the First and they don’t even know the half of it. Their efforts saved countless lives yesterday. That sound better to you?” Ardbert has found himself tired of Beau’s regular self-deprecation. “Their care for you has saved lives. So I’m going to have to disagree there. You are worth the effort. I suppose you are just going to live a little longer, friend.” Beau doesn’t respond, she instead sits herself onto the floor, putting herself deep in thought. Ardbert takes a breath, feeling as though he should ease up on her.

“It must have been hard on you; thinking you knew the day your life would end. I hope you maybe feel some sense of relief now that that final hour is behind you.” He takes a few steps towards her and kneels down in front of her. Beau just stares through him. “It is okay to feel lost, Beau. Most people do at times. This pain you try to hide, your friends can feel it. And they wish to help. Pushing it down will not shelter them from it.” While his form is incorporeal, Ardbert nonetheless still rests a hand on Beau’s shoulder. “You can let them in.”

Beau still does not respond. Ardbert lets out another sigh and plants himself beside her, sitting on the floor alongside Beau.

“I think I’d miss them,” Beau whispers, her misty eyes looking forward. Ardbert nods his head.

“I’m sure they’d miss you, too.” Ardbert tips his head toward Beau. “Suppose it could be a good idea to try to make an effort to spend more time with them now.” Ardbert finds a smile growing onto his face. “Might make the next time you try to attempt a big self sacrifice a little easier if you’re tired of them.” Beau scoffs, a smile breaking through her somber face. Ardbert, thankful his attempt at levity worked, lets out a sigh of relief. “Might be worth getting moving soon. Wouldn’t want Lehon’a to come check in and find you’re actually expressing some emotions for once.” Beau rolls her eyes with a smirk.

“Go disappear, ghost boy.” She waves her hand through his chest. Ardbert laughs.

“With pleasure.”

Beau finally looks over to where Ardbert had been, and finds the spot vacant. She wipes her eyes and stands herself up. Grabbing her rapier from atop the chest at the foot of where she had been resting, Ar’beunti heads for the door to catch up to her fell Warrior of Darkness.

[sunderedazem]

Hey! It's been a while :D I've been off the Internet for a bit but just know both of your updates have been giving me essential bits of life energy, even though I haven't had time to type something out in appreciation until now. First things first I absolutely love what you wrote for the 'stay?' prompt, it's exactly what I hoped and imagined what could have happened if things hadn't gone so wrong back then. Seriously, it's like you took a look into my brain, I was really imagining scenarios of helios coming back and taking care of an exhausted emet selch 😩 such good food thanks so much for that.

Okay so back to the actual ao3 updates, I couldn't believe that you guys did the tempering cure so early XD ahhhhhh it was so good! The way it was just a slight shift of perception, how emet selch goes off just barely holding it together, the line "I always believed I would see them again" broke me so bad like how dare you 😭 but honestly finally processing his grief now is great cause it'll be so much better when Hyth comes back 😈 iirc that that's happening. One of my favourite bits was emet selch having company while the cure was being administered, idk there's always something about having support while you're healing. Corrain's writing is superb as always, in the tempering fic as well as the Sharlayan one, he comforted emet selch so well and it was very interesting to see his point of view when he snapped at thancred, poor guy needs a long break and so much therapy. I haven't read the most recent lelesu writings yet but ahhhhhh she has such big sister energy? Such a solid anchor, it's so great every time she gives support.

I think that's all my thoughts for now, so that this doesn't get too long. Thanks so much for the new content, and I hope the both of you are doing well!! Many well wishes <3

Okay! Now it's time to sob over this ask so excuse me while i

And YEAH we couldn't wait to untemper that bastard man and break him even worse. Like imagine waking up and the thing you've been working towards for the last thirteen thousand years is not only principally opposed to what you believe is right, but also now you have to accept that everyone you'd ever loved is dead and gone and will not come back.

(And then they do. Because we are stealing Hyth. And then also stealing Elidibus from Pandaemonium like sorry Athena that man is ours now. And then Hyth is spotting Lahabrea's soul mixed in with Nidhogg and they are Stealing (and helping him put himself back together, and confiscating his wife's evil space rock) him too. And we are stealing the Sundered Ascians as we find them and curing and collecting them, because they all deserve a chance to recover from the literal apocalypse knowing that the star is actually safe. Anyway. I have emotions about the first Final Days and how nobody who lived then deserved what the world and Hydaelyn ended up giving them, no matter if it was necessary or not.)

To be fair it most likely only feels fast because most of what happens in Shadowbringers and the post 5.0 patches happens as it does in canon and tby rewriting all the Same Stuff seems kinda jejune so we skipped it XD. There are a few more pieces from SHB in process though, we just have to finish them.

And YEAH GOD. Corrain can be very cruel on occasion, and him snapping at Thancred for having EXTREMELY JUSTIFIABLE RESERVATIONS (even if he was a jackass about it) wasn't his finest moment. He doesn't even honestly feel so upset about Minfilia, he liked her alright as a person, and she WAS kind to him, but in the moment he's purely reacting in anger, and it dredges up some really nasty parts of him. This is a trait Helios had as well, if uh. You read the Final Days breakup fic XD.

And YEAH I ALSO NEED MORE LELESU ALWAYS. She is so SASSY sometimes. Hey @azems-familiar give us your girl. Grabby hands.

Honestly I know I'm late actually answering but this made my week last week 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙

[roguelioness]

fables from the field

[written for ffxivwrite2024]

Day 7: Morsel

Rating: G Words: 1243 Pairing: implied Emet-Selch/Azem/Hythlodaeus Additional notes: Shadowbringers + Endwalker spoilers

It is – and was, and will always be – the smallest things she does that catch him.

Oh, Emet-Selch has met her in many forms many, many times over, and though he had always been diligent to his duty, those morsels of her clung to the cold edges of his soul; like the most determined of burrs they dug into him and refused to be prised, no matter how many times he tried.

He can still remember the joy in her eyes as she sliced apples to share with her friends. The fear as she shepherded her little group of survivors into the safety of a cave. The sickening crack of her bones as she hit the ground, when the winds of the Calamity tired of her.

He knows, too well perhaps, the sound of her screams –high-pitched and shrill– as Amon subjected her to yet another experiment. There were times he was haunted by the utter blankness of her gaze, her mind broken beyond repair; had Amon not had her executed, he would have intervened to grant her the mercy of death, so pitiful had her state been. 

This one, though – this one is different. Whether because of the increased density of her soul, or the result of her circumstances he cannot say; only that he can see more of Azem in her than he has ever seen in any of her prior iterations, and it depressed and infuriated him in equal measure.

Even as he watches her struggle to understand this new land, he can see the way her gaze inevitably landed on those little bits of beauty in her surroundings. Watches her take moments to admire them. Watches her immerse herself in the mundanity of the daily lives of those around her, and attempt to find a way to ease their burdens.

How very Azem of her, he sneers at her pitiful endeavors.

Emet-Selch observes the way her body trembles in the aftermath of absorbing Lightwarden aether, and cannot but think of Hekate’s predilection for getting a fever at the most inopportune of times, of how she shivered beneath the covers of their bed as Hythlodaeus fussed over her.

The first time they meet face-to-face, he finds himself underwhelmed. There is a distinct presence about her, yes; she carries herself as a warrior would, but it is sorely clear to his soulsight that she is lacking, and so he cannot be blamed if he is marginally ruder in his responses.

But then–

She ducks her head to the side, the better to hide her smile, and Emet-Selch is- he is transported to a thousand thousand years ago, watching as his beloved wife gives him that very same smile while she teases him; there’s a loud buzzing in his ears that drowns out whatever this misguided, miserable group of heroes are saying.

When he returns to the void, the loneliness gnaws ravenously at his bones.

He finds himself approaching her in the middle of the night when she is alone, tucked away in a corner of the amaro launch, lying flat on her back and staring up at the night sky. She marks his appearance with a curious glance, but returns to her stargazing. Before he can make a suitably acerbic comment, she forestalls him with the oddest of requests. “If you’re here to make yet another rant about altering your perfect imbalance, and so on, I ask that you reschedule it for another day.”

Emet-Selch glares at her. “Have you considered your precarious position, hero? Alone and isolated as you are, it would take me little effort to kill you here and now.”

“I thought you said you were attempting a path of cooperation?” She shifts to a sitting position, stretching her arms over her head with a pleased little sigh. 

“Here to revel in your victory, are you?”

“What? No,” she huffs. “I’m only admiring the sky. It’s beautiful, is it not?”

He does not want to look at the stars, familiarly unfamiliar as they are. He does not want this sky, he wants his own. “It is unremarkable. It was there yesterday, and it will be there tomorrow.”

The hero sighs. “That might be, but it is still pretty.” She looks up at him. “Are all you ascians blind to the beauty in small things?”

He remembers a garden, and a night sky. The warmth of his husband's arm around his waist. The lingering scent of his wife. 

There is no garden now, or husband, or wife.

“You know nothing of us, hero.” He leaves before she can respond.

In every subsequent meeting, he seeks to annoy her. Her companions fall for his bait easily enough, but more often than not he catches the amused smiles she tries her best to tuck away. He wants to remain aloof, remain the mere observer he’s announced himself as, and yet there is something, or another, that catches him – the focus on her face as she mends and repairs her gear, the small, inelegant snort she makes when she laughs too hard, the songs she hums to herself when she thinks she is alone- 

The way her mouth slots so wonderfully against his-

It is a moment of weakness, the result of eons of loneliness. Or that is what he tells himself as she apologizes, as he shares a meal with her, as they make casual conversation beneath the dense canopy of the Citia Swamps.

He remembers a forest, and sunlit sky. A breeze wearing flowers. The laughter of his husband as he spun their wife beneath the canopy.

There is no forest now, or husband, or wife. 

He appears in her room days after defeating Eros. The weight of the newly-learned truth sits heavy on her shoulders. She is somber, his hero, but the pity in her gaze is unbearably corrosive.

“You must have loved them dearly,” she says quietly.

Emet-Selch freezes. Does she remember? What does she know? Arching a brow, he asks, “Who do you mean, hero?”

She flushes and looks away. “I do not wish to make any assumptions. I only meant…” she trails off. “I- I am sorry. For those you have lost. You… you must miss them dearly.”

He remembers a city, and a flaming sky. The sway of his husband's robe as he walked away. The clatter of his wife's mask as it fell from his hands.

There is no city now, or husband, or wife.

“Do not speak of that which you cannot begin to comprehend,” his tone drips ice and rancor. “You know nothing of true loss.”

He leaves.

Emet-Selch watches her retch Light-poisoned bile, his rage at her failure palpable in his tone. “I pity you, truly,” he mocks, even as he dares her to seek him out.

She is the first of Hekate's shards to see the splendor of Amaurot. 

And of course she is drawn to the shade of Hythodaeus. If his eyes are misty when he observes their interactions, well, it will be his secret.

High above a recreation of the Final Days, he finally, finally sees Azem in all her fierce, determined glory. Within the gordian knot of emotions caught in his throat, there is pride and relief.

Remember us,  he says as the Lifestream pulls inexorably on him. Remember that we once lived.

As Emet-Selch finally, finally lets go of his title and his duty, he knows one certainty: 

His hero will carry the morsels of him.