#A Job For A Deathworlder

[sodomyordeath]

Good read of the month

Been a while since I've done one of these and afaik that's the first one that showcases a Story written for and posted to reddit.

A Job For A Deathworlder is an ongoing tale in the r/HFY subreddit.

What makes this one outstanding is its well crafted cast of characters and the complex yet believable world building.

Starting with James our "main character" a human male (bisexual) scientist who's one of the first selected to work along the greater galactic community on bard a glactic research starship

Shida a "galactic catgirl" with a complex and traumatic past

Moar a Megatherium like female scientist of advanced age

Curi a full body cyborg robotics and cybernetics expert. Member of a non-gendered species and "afflicted" with a condition not unlike human autism.

Nia, James' adopted sister a scientist. While not directly stated in the story (yet) it can be deduced from conversations she has with other characters that she is a trans women.

A bunch of James former comrades from his military days including his ex boyfriend and a childhood friend.

and that's just the "main cast" not counting the oposotion.

The story begins with James' first day on the ship. The poor guy has no idea what the unvierse has in store for him...

[primrosebitch]

Not all humans, there are some (like me wink wink nudge nudge) who would love to be cared for while not having to work or be productive or have responsibilities *blegh*, but consent is key. Find a human (like me hint hint) who wants to be spoiled and cared for and have no responsibilities, not ones who want to be independent or productive.

Can I have a human as a pet? And before you say no…. If not pet than why pet shaped?

They aren't pet shaped?! They are a sapient species! And before you even think of trying, be aware that a human can and will break your arms before living in captivity!

[carlosbaldellou]

The kind and the furious

When humanity was welcomen in the stars, nobody knew what to expect of these deathworlders. Their world looked stunning. Full of life. Well, mostly. They had serene places, fruit trees neatly arranged. Sure, the tectonic activity was on the high end of the spectrum, but perfectly livable. But then, you noticed the animals. The arms race of evolution. Predators that evolved to avoid other predators. Hervibores with toxines so potent as to wipe out the largest predator animal in the galaxy. Predators that somehow evolved to resist those toxins and other ludicrous natural defenses. It was... madness, to most of the galaxy.

Humanity spread far and wide. They had looked into the dark abyss of space for a long time, and now that they could roam trough it, they went everywhere. Small human settlements started to pop up everywhere. The races were cautious, but this new species seemed like a good neighbour. So they welcomed them, still unsure as to how to clasify them.

Untill a disaster happened. A huge chain explosion in a residential area. Buildings collapsed and fire roared. The emergency response teams were overwhelmed. But they, with time, managed to quench the fire and control the situation.

And then, the humans came. With their personal vehicles. From neighbouring cities. From far away cities. They started to clean the rubble, even if it was not their duty. They helped the victims. Looked for survivors. Cared for them. Healed them. Sure, kindness and help from your own species was expected to a degree, but from another species? It was unheard of. You cared for your own. But humans were different. They were kind to everyone. They helped as they could. Preparing meals. Setting up tents. Moving rubble... And every time a survivor was found, they cheered with enthusiasm.

The galaxy at large looked at them. And humanity was labeled as the kindest species in the falactic collective.

That is, until it was found what had happened. While moving rubble, some metallic carcass was found. One that was traced to an explosive from a species outside the galactic empire. Tensions rose. War broke out a couple years ago.

Humans joined the war. Everyone thought they were kind. Everyone tought they would provide support.

Everyone was wrong.

When humans started fighting, they showed why they were the dominant species of their world. Sure, they did not have vicious claws. Sure, they did not have venoms. Sure, they were not armoured. But they were smart. They were cunning. They had planned for stellar warfare before we found them. They already had devised strategies. Simple, brutal strategies.

Humanity grabbed the biggest asteroid they could find, strapped some rockets to it and launched it straight to the enemy positions. Their fleet, guarding behind it. Using it as cover. When tvey were found out, they jumped to defend that asteroid. They were a small group agains an entire planet. Nobody tought the humans could win.

Everyone was wrong.

Humans fought with all their cunning and might. They fought with ferocity and ruthlessness. Disabling thrusters and energy systems first. Then leaving the poor enemy ships to die. They were no longer a threat. The asteroid advanced and got into descent orbit. Impact was inevitable. And the humans left. They had done their job. A quarter of the world was wiped from the initial blast. The rest of the planet was uninhabitable, and would be for a long time.

Humans fought. Their strategies evolving. Changing to counter their enemies as they started to be prepared. Always a step beyond. Always with a new warfare solution. Orbital bombardment with titanium rods, cloaking technogy never seen before, new ship designs seemingly every day.

Humans fought. Captive humans found ways to escape prison and sabotage the enemy from within. Wounded humans went to fight again while still recovering. Their savagery in limit situations scared allies and enemies alike.

The war ended with the enemy surrendering completely. Mostly thanks to the humans. Peace was signed. And then, the humans sent aid to the defeated enemy. Cargo ships full of medicine and food started arriving. Human troopers helping with the reconstruction efforts.

Humans, like their homeworld, were a race of extremes. Capable of the biggest acts of kindness the galaxy had ever seen, but also the most furious and savage acts when it was necessary.

------

Hope you all like it. It's my first story of this kind

[taro-pdf]

Humans are Deathworlders, but they can be Friends, too.

Context: the main alien is Feja, xe/xer, an adult 4th gender tuscia (bipedal beings that communicate mainly through frequencies higher than humans do. Theyhave 5 sexes and 5 main societal gender roles)

Feja didn’t get along well with xer crewmates. It was always hard to communicate cross-species, and even harder when most of them were humans and couldn’t hear you. That’s why, when they stopped to pick up a group of even more humans in the Acrux solar system, Feja wasn’t exactly excited.

The humans’ voices were low, loud, rumbles in as they boarded, speaking of things Feja didn’t know about and couldn’t share. But xe had to do xer job, which involved initiating a small group of new humans who would share the same sort of tasks as xer. Not that xe wanted to share tasks with beings who drank poison for fun and kept predators as pets, but xer job was xer job.

“Hello, welcome to the Yenna,” xe paused, allowing a few seconds for the translator to work. It was always so awkward to wait. And sometimes older translators wouldn’t pick up xer voice correctly at all. “My name is Feja, xe/xer, tuscia, and I will be orienting you to your roles and responsibilities. You should have already received a brief. If you have any questions about that, please let me know.”

One of the humans’ mouths let out a few rumbles, followed by Feja’s translator repeating their words to xer, “Are their Uni-10 translators provided? I missed some of what you said.” 

Feja smiled and the human’s eyebrows scrunched. From previous experience, xe knew that it was confused, probably not used to tuscia body language. Feja let out a small hiss, but replied, “We don’t provide translators, but if communication is an issue, I can transfer you to a different group.” 

A pause, a low rumble, and then, “I think that’d be best. Thanks for being flexible!” 

The other humans in Feja’s group had better translators, and xe was able to finish xer initiation protocol with few issues. Slightly exhausted, xe started to walk back to xer room. Why did xe ever sign up for this? Why didn’t xe apply to somewhere where beings could actually converse with xer without a translator? And why, oh why did xe have to work with so many deathworlders?

Turning into a narrow corridor, Feja saw a human, looking at a number on their watch, then the signs next to each door, apparently trying to find a match. Their long white hair was plaited and reached their waist, and they were wearing a blue tunic that contrasted with their tan skin. It was too narrow to slip past, so Feja clacked xer mouth—a sound that xe knew humans could hear—but the human didn’t turn. Instead, they tried to open another door that also didn’t open, evidently not theirs . Feja clacked louder, to no response. As the human tried the next door, xe got rudely close and clacked once more. The human jumped, then turned and waved. Lucky not angrily— humans could take Feja down in a second. They looked down to their watch and started typing something.

Hey! I’m Kell, they/them, human, and new on board the Yenna, but not a traveler. The text was transmitted directly to Feja’s watch, and xe was surprised to see it was in universal language, not a human one that would have needed further translation. I’ve been hired as a tech assistant, so I should get my own room, but my initiation guide didn’t tell me where it was, and I’m having trouble with these numbers. Does the ship use a different language?

Not an uncommon problem for those first on board. Why didn’t their initiator tell them that?

“Most written text on the signs is in the captain’s birth tongue,” Feja explained. Kell tapped their glasses and captions scrolled across their screen as they looked at xer. “It’s Suav, and probably not in your translator’s database. You can add it, or you could use Anglu, which is close enough that it picks up most things.”

Kell nodded and switched their watch to Anglu, then translated a plaque on the wall. Seeing the results, they hit their forehead with their fist, thumb out. Feja startled, neck ruff raised.

“Are you alright?” Xe asked, cocking xer head. Even with how durable humans were, most of them didn’t hit themselves. Faja’s words scrolled across Kell’s glasses, then they laughed. 

I’m fine. That was sign language; I was calling myself stupid because I’m about 100 doors and a floor away. They looked up and chuckled.

“Sign language? Like the Ruq’?”

Yeah, though the Ruq’ never evolved ears. Mine just don’t work, I’m what humans call Deaf. I grew up with signs.

“So you sign to your fellow humans?”

Ha! Kell raised a lip—a sign of a negative emotion, though Faja wasn’t sure which one. I wish. I’ve only met a few who know any, and then usually not the same one I use. I text to talk to most beings. That’s why I’m in tech and not navigation.

“But you use the Universal Interplanetary Language, not Human, and that’s quite a feat of learning. Surely you had a choice in your occupation, especially considering how you’re a human…” Feja shifted on xer feet. The human-other ratio on board Yenna was unusually high, but that was because they specialized in human transport. Humans easily got jobs as medics, security, or anything else, especially as almost every intergalaxy ship had at least one. But most beings didn’t want to so much as be near the same fleet with so many of such a volatile species. Humans were known for their adaptability, cunning, and ferocity after all. 

When you can’t communicate with most people, you have to do what makes it easiest, and for me that was making sure to limit translation times as much as possible. 

Feja winced at xer own thoughts of Kell’s possible violent nature. Xe looked down at xer messages, a wall of one-way texts, and winced again. Xe typed back, that’s my reason for learning UPL, too. Receiving the text, Kell’s eyes widened. 

You stopped speaking? My translator can write your words out for me.

Feja smiled. It didn’t seem fair. We can keep a record of what I say, too.

 Thanks. Kell blinked and shook their head. That’s not something I even thought of.

I know what it’s like when it’s more work to communicate. The humans tend to avoid me. Faja recalled the human who requested a new group earlier that day.

Me too. Kell had a look on their face that Feja felt often. 

I’ll walk you to your room. I can read Suav numbers, at least. What’s yours?

Kell brightened and checked their brief. It should be 470. 

Alright, that’d be down this hallway. It’s a relief, Faja thought, that they aren’t pushing me away.

A few steps later, Faja’s watch buzzed. Xe looked down.

Hey Faja, how many languages do you know? Kell looked at them and Faja stared. Human’s colors were usually so dull, but xer eyes were drawn to the vibrant green of Kell’s, a color rarely seen in space. Shaking xer head to focus, xe counted the languages xe knew.

Three fluently, five partially. They’re fun to learn, though it doesn’t mean much when no one on board can hear me.

Kell thought for a second, started typing, paused, then sent their message. They peered at xer from behind their hair.

Language isn’t always about hearing. Have you thought about learning sign language?

It was Faja’s turn to pause. Kell fidgeted with a button on their watch. This human was making an effort to bond… with xer. Even though xe was a different species, and even though xe couldn’t offer any career advancement or connections. Xe closed xer eyes and inhaled. Maybe, just maybe, xe would make their first friend on board. It really wasn’t a question, then, was it? This deathworlder wasn’t so bad.

Xe typed xer reply: 

I’d love too.

---

Based on a post by @bunnyycat, this is the edited version post-a-good-nights-sleep. Image description in alt.

[deathworlders-of-e24]

Danny, Security Chief

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, the GAIL asked specifically for a Human security officer for this position. Yours was the first name on the list.”

Admiral Townes had said those exact words to him not 48 hours earlier, and here he was, in a rocket ship filled to the brim with races from 25 different species with different needs and different temperaments. Danny knew this was gonna take up a lot of his time.

Daniel Ducane, or Danny if you were a drinking buddy, liked it when things were quiet. He’d only really joined the service because of his family, both his mom and granddad had done it, and Danny genuinely did enjoy the feeling of helping people. God knows why he said yes to this posting though, an ‘experiment’ to push people to their breaking points. People usually either broke before then or they didn’t. Usually the former, and since the mission was a year long this time, Danny expected he’d get busy sooner or later. Apparently ‘keeping the peace’ aboard the Noah was such a high priority they’d even given him a commander rank the second he took the job. Weird.

Right now Danny was on his way to the Captain’s office for a briefing. Making his way down the halls of the ship, he took note of the many different species aboard. Several of them noticed him as well, some going so far as to stand at attention while he walked by. Danny even noticed how some of the crew took note of him. He wasn’t deaf to the rumors circulating about humans, about how we evolved on a deathworld practically designed to eradicate anything that wasn’t the best of the best. Humans had somehow conquered every other creature on their planet without any natural armor or weapons, by being these strange pursuit predators, apparently just too stubborn to give up the ghost.

When asked, Danny conceded that sure, Earth is kinda rough around the edges compared to other planets, but it was pretty quiet there these days. He liked that. His last posting had been on a security detail at the Doun embassy on earth, and he’d been asked a thousand times how he’d survived in the hellish landscape that had been ‘Arizona’. The Doun homeworld had an exceptionally long rotation period so most of it was frozen a majority of the time, a cool -4 on a hot day. He’d told anyone who asked “you just wear some sunscreen and short pants, you’ll be fine.” The idea of short pants was unheard of on Doun. They didn’t ask a lot of questions after that.

The door to the captain’s office hissed open, and Danny stepped in.

“Sir, security chief Ducane reporting for briefing.” Danny stood at attention, the only thing out of place being the black ball cap he always wore. It clashed with his gray uniform but he didn’t care too much about that. The hat wasn’t negotiable.

Captain Nadh, a Mergal man, stood up to meet him. The Mergal were insectoid, with two main limbs at what would be his shoulders if he were human, and a set of sub arms tucked into his abdomen. His left main arm was missing, replaced with a chrome prosthetic. His legs bent backwards like a grasshopper’s, and his body was sectioned into three different parts like an ant’s. The Mergal standard uniform was a two piece wrap, one around the neck with his rank proudly shown, and another like a skirt or kilt around his waist.

“At ease. Good to meet you, Ducane. My name is Captain *sssccchhht* [Proper Noun: Pronounced; Skitch] You came highly recommended from your last CO, so I’m hoping your brought the same level of commitment to the Noah.”

“Aye aye sir.” The Captain’s base language was a bit hard to understand to human ears, what with the lack of lips in favor of a set of short mandibles, so the translation was a beat slower than normal. Danny didn’t mind too much.

“Allow me to be honest, Chief Ducane. I specifically asked for a human security chief on this mission. I know your people have only been part of the GAIL for a few decades, but human exploits are known across almost every system by now.”

The corner of Danny’s mouth twitched up, and he had to stifle a laugh.

“You hired me…because I’m a Deathworlder, sir?” Danny asked. Skitch laughed, a low pitched chittering sound.

“Takes one to know one Ducane. I’m Mergal, everything at home wants to eat me, the plants, the animals, other Mergal.” Skitch laughed again.

“I wanted a human. I hired you because your record, your training, and your personality profile all tell me you’d be the best fit. You’d have full control over your team, train them how you’d like, outfit them with the best gear we have available, I think you’d be very happy here.”

Danny took a beat, then smiled. “Happy to keep things quiet for you sir.”

“Very good. Dismissed.”

Danny turned back to the door.

“Oh, Ducane, before you go. I got your clearance for your…requested gear and personal kit. I’ll trust you, until proven otherwise, but are you certain the equipment you requested is necessary?”

“You were honest with me, boss, so I’ll be honest with you. I like it when things are quiet. But I’d be an idiot if I wasn’t ready for things to go loud.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danny put his feet up on his new desk and let his head rest back against the chair. He hadn’t brought a lot of stuff on board, so ‘decorating’ his office hadn’t taken that long. Two photos, one of his parents and siblings with himself, the other of him with the other members in his old unit back in his army days.

Two family photos, he thought to himself, and smiled.

He’d already squared away his duffel and his foot locker in his quarters, so all that was left to do was meet his new team. He’d seen the 3 other humans that’d be on the Noah with him, but none of them were on the security force, so that meant the 10 other crew were all going to be non human.

2 teams of 5, he thought. That way one team can get some sleep while there’s still half on duty at all times.

Danny had never really considered himself a leader before, but never really a follower either. He’d always just been part of the pack, watching someone’s six while someone else watched his. It was going to be different leading the pack this time. But hey, Rangers lead the way, right?

This is gonna be fun, Danny thought as his team came through the doors.

“Everyone fall in! We got work to do.”

[lilacargent]

This is an add on to my previous idea of old weapons being redundant and everything being rays/plasma/energy based. But humans are weird little things that like hoarding weapons…

This story plays on a spaceship called the Serpentine.

Important crew:

Primoz, captain -Limoyh a four armed species-Krag, second in command (brother of Primoz)

Kit, dokter -avian, bird like, she has feathers like a swallow-

Ortez, ASR (all species resources, human resources in space) -kiltak, insectoid species, think ants but exoskeleton-

Lugea, helmsperson (does the steering) -rock like alien-

Artex, engineer/mechanic 1 -also Kiltak-

And then our humans:

Kamari, navigator -Eritrean woman- (has cat named Sidra)

Markus, weapons expert (knows how to use them and upkeep, also shields) -Swedish man-

Petrus, mechanic/engineer 2 - Italian man-

Lilly, administrator/note keeper (learns languages for fun)-english woman-

~~~~~~

Ouroboros

The mood on the Serpentine is at an all time low. Right now they were supposed to be on planet earth, getting a tour from the deathworld residents. Krag was very disappointed that the humans celebration for their 15 year tenure on the ship had to be cancelled, after all the stories he had really wanted to see the planet, at least more than the embassy or a space travel base.

Sadly this had to be put on hold, as the Counsel is at war. The big four armed alienwas looking at his brother, the captain, pacing the bridge while they slowly moved to the deserted front lines of the attack, hoping to maybe find something that gives the Unity an edge.

This had started no more than a month ago, an exploratory vessel had found a planet beyond the borders of Avian territory, on the southern side of Unity (direction is always measured from Unity as that is the point of convergence for most species and space faring) now new planets were interesting but not usually to the average person. The last message received was a voice note screaming about a wormhole in the planet the sent hundreds of ships and the ship it self failing on all fronts and shutting down.

From that day a line of dark crude ships started eating away at the Avian territory, within a week they had lost 19 colonies. Nothing is stopping them, ships that got too close shut down for no reason and were never recovered as the unstoppable line of enemy ships progressed. Weapons fired from far away did nothing as whatever beam they threw vanished when it gets close.

All that and the Unity still kept sending forces, because what else were they going to do?

So here they are, on their way to a probable death sentence with no clue about the enemy. Through his somber thoughts Krag hears laughing from the mess hall, yes, these are the moments he is extra thankful for the humans. After 15 years they were pillars in the crew, right now Lilly and Petrus were teaching the crew human “sea shanties” which were apparently doing their job of lifting spirits as the humans had explained, Lilly is writing the english words down for Kit who is learning the language in her analog book, one of her human oddities. Markus is showing some of the newer recruits the ins and outs of the weapon systems. Lastly Kamari, their leader and confidant, she has made herself indispensable to Ortez over the years. Now she was sitting in a corner listening to people pour their hearts out, giving the best advice she can.

As the ship is approaching the seemingly desolate piece of space where 23 ships float without direction or crew, hulls torn open and ransacked, the crew of the Serpentine watches in horror as there are only Unity ships, non of their enemy.

Artex and Petrus helm the out board arms in trying to get any information or remnants that are usable, when the ship shivers and stills. As the sound of something attaching to the outer hull comes through, the ships lights and computers shut down.

“DO NOT PANIC” the captain yells, “grab your weapons, and prepare for battle” as everyone prepares Markus grabs a weapon from his bag, a long gun, which Primoz recognises as an old earth weapon. “Why would you carry that?” Primoz grabs Markus’ arm, who contorts his face in one of the more terrifying human grins, one usually reserved for enemies “well we know the blasters don’t work. I thought let’s try this!” Now that the captain is looking he sees that the humans are all carrying an old weapon, Kamari seems to have a smaller version of Markus’ gun, Petrus has a sword on his hip and Lilly had several sheets with daggers strapped to her hips. Primoz turns around as Krag grabs his shoulder “if it gives them hope, let it go, what are they gonna do?”

Lugea catches their attention “something is boarding in sector three!” Immediately the armed crew members ran toward the sector, Markus directing people into an ambush formation. Blasters ready they wait.

The doors as everything else have lost power, but with a flash electricity runs through it the doors open and two tall lanky aliens skitter in (the silence from doctor who but in body armour) with voices that sound like nails on a chalk board they use the captains language “sssurendderrr, and youuu won’t ssssssufffer. Yourrr weaponsssss aree ussssseelll-“ with a swoosh Lilly’s knife flew past the ranks and embedded itself a bit in the body armour. Three blaster shots follow her knife but dissipate in mid air. Kamari’s eyes light up as she grabs her glock “looks like old does the trick!” A big bang makes the other crew members cover their ears. But the bullet hits its target, and dark yellow blood pours from a head wound.

“Thats it!” Petrus runs in and goes for a decapitation, sadly no such luck as the left over alien grabs his sword and not caring for life and limb tries to touch the human. Before he can a second loud shot rings out, Markus got a good aim.

Now there are two dead aliens but still no power. Through some investigation Kit figures out the aliens are like leeches for energy, electricity and a lot of what their stuff runs on. The ship the creatures came with is empty and sending out a signal, worried more enemy troops are coming the crew discusses. No useful ideas come up until Petrus starts speaking: “what if we make thrusters like the old ones on earth? Y’know like a fire powered one. Heck i know we have several things that are flammable in high quantities. If we put that behind the other ship we could propel ourselves away maybe find council ship? And while we are at it we could Ouroboros this ship when those leech man comeback. right Markus?" Markus gets a pensive look on his face “yea we probably could, but even if we can propel the other ship far enough how do we stop our people from trying to blow us up?’ Now Lilly speaks up ‘we can paint it? I have paints in my room, our space suit will still keep the pressure out but won’t supply oxygen. We could hold our breath.’ Rumbling Lugea intercepts ‘while i do need a little oxygen i can survive up to 58 kliks without it, i could do it?’ More and more of the crew start to speak up, Artez offers to help Petrus with the thrusters. Kit knows several flammable liquids she keeps in the med bay and has enough chemical knowledge to know what can be used as fuel so she is in on gathering the necessary ingredients. The two brothers started with decking out Lugea, and gathered several steel ropes to pull the ship in so people could get on with as little exposure as possible.

Ortez realises noone asked what ‘ouroboros’ meant and finds Kamari in a fight with Markus ‘you’re right that we’re gonna need the push if we want to get anywhere but there has to be another way?!’ The dark woman whisper shouts with a resigned look Markus grabs her flailing arm ‘we have no electricity to make a remote to do it from a distance moon, I don’t see another option.’ The fact that Markus is using Kamaris nickname and gets no scolding look makes the insectoid realise this is very serious ‘what about Lilly then? You know she won’t let you.’ Now the man looks stern ‘we dont tell her until it is too late.’ Skittering into the light Ortez speaks up ‘what exactly does ‘ouroboros’ a ship mean and why can’t you tell Lilly?’ Startled the two humans look at him, Kamari takes the word ‘ouroboros is a plan we made up for blowing the ship up, without power source. Ya know- serpentine -serpent -ouroboros is a serpent eating its own tail’ as she is speaking Ortez gets more anxious ‘okay several things 1, you made plans to blow up the ship?! 2, you just said you don’t have a remote which means you are planning on staying behind’ focussing all six eyes on Marks. Who squares his shoulders and nods.

It took two hours to get things in place, another hour to prepare and calculate the blast range.

Almost everyone has boarded the enemy ship, save for Primoz, Kamari, Krag and Markus. With tears in her eyes Kamari hugs him, Primoz grabs him by the shoulders ‘are you aure? The thrusters might be enough.’ A sad smile crosses his face ‘but it most likely won’t be captain. It was an honour serving with you.’ The three salute him while he walks to the bridge so he can see the ship and calculate when to start the chain reaction.

As the captain and his brother close the secondary doors behind Kamari, Lilly realises what has happened ‘NO,’ running for the door Petrus grabs her ‘PLEASE NO,’ as she fights and struggles the man starts whispering to her while she screams for Markus. Krag looks away towards Artez ‘start the thrusters’ now weeping Lilly cries out ‘WE LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND, we leave no one behind.’ the ships starts moving and as calculated their beautiful Serpentine blows up the shock wave propelling the now brightly coloured ship to safety.

It takes 5 hours for them to be found, after explaining the situation they are immediately transported to Unity. Where the group of humans show Lillies notes and the enemy ship. Plans are made and the human civilisation shows exactly why they are so scary when in les than a week they mass produce weapons that can hurt the newly dubbed leeches.

With the crew on the frontlines scattered over separate ships they beat back the leeches, destroying the wormhole and any stragglers are mercilessly killed off.

Humans are terrifying if you hurt them, because they never come after you alone.

~~~~~~~~~

This is technically the end of the serpentine but much room for stories in the 15 years before.

Hopefully people enjoy this.

[fluffle-writes]

Twisted Wonderland - Alien Abduction AU

Alien AU where Yuu/Reader is a human who accidentally gets abducted by aliens when they land on earth. The human end up staying with the TWST cast for a while because the guys who accidentally yoinked them were barely able to make it past all of the galactic patrols keeping aliens away from earth (the death world) in the first place

The 'humans are space orcs' trope can be applied to this - aliens not having adrenaline or resistance to caffeine etc.

Some aliens are scared of the deathworlder human creature hanging around, some want to challenge them to a battle for glory, and some just wanna poke and prod at them to see what makes them tick (gestures wildly towards Jade and Rook)

Some of the guys (like Riddle, Epel, and Lilia) are species that are much shorter than others whereas some of the taller guys (Idia, Malleus) are larger species etc. which makes the height differences between characters more pronounced

Everyone can sort of be in the same space station for research work - the resident human helps with heavy lifting and small tasks around the station like cleaning etc. Whereas the twst cast all have more specialised areas of work.

There are seven main branches of the space station, along with a smaller group of general leaders, dedicated to different sectors within the station; Heartslabyul, Savannaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diassomnia, and the Administrators.

Riddle is the head of Heartslabyul and is in charge of training newer members to investigate and explore new planets to search for useful materials and interesting flora and fauna that can be documented.

Trey and Cater are a duo who work on high-profile exploration jobs such as scouting for planets with life that can be approached.

Ace and Deuce are trainees with a penchant for trouble. They're probably the ones who accidentally landed on Earth and let a human wander onto their ship before they flew off again.

Leona is head of Savannaclaw and takes charge when it comes to defending the main space station and training the residents in his sector in both ranged combat and hand-to-hand combat. there's often at least one member of Savannaclaw accompanying Heartslabyul in excursions as protectors.

Ruggie is the most skilled marksman on the station and Leona's right hand man - he's the quickest to react to danger and man the laser cannons on the station in the event that there's a aggressive life form threatening the station.

Jack specialises in hand-to-hand combat and is higher in ranking than some of his fellow members of Savannaclaw despite being a newer recruit.

Azul is the head of Octavinelle, which acts as the main commercial face of the space station - managing the amount of cargo, where it's sold or sourced from, and managing the bookkeeping for the station. He's always precise in his work and never lets a single number out of place

Jade is Azul's right hand, standing in for him at meetings and conferences if he is unable to make it due to having other plans, or a sudden influx of work. His large stature and carnivorous ancestry makes it easy enough to intimidate business partners into working alongside the space station, preventing Azul's job from being more difficult than it needs to be.

Floyd works mostly within the station, assisting Azul in preventing any interference with the money or cargo within the station - such as investigating issues that may have revealed themselves in Azul's calculations or tracking down someone who hasn't paid back what they owe for any under-the-table 'deals' that Azul makes.

Kalim's sector, Scarabia, works closely with Octavinelle by providing a more direct face to the trade of goods - managing stores, warehouses, and stalls wherever the station decides to dock. His experience as the son of a wealthy merchant know widely across the galaxy makes him perfect for the position!

Jamil is present on the station to keep Kalim safe and on top of all of his responsibilities, meetings, and paperwork. He's the one who's kept Scarabia running so smoothly all this time - working in the background as he always does.

Vil leads the Pomefiore sector, focused on science and discovery - from learning more about newly discovered species of fauna and flora, to synthesising medicines or cosmetic products from unique properties found in resources they find. Vil manages the labs alongside an apprenticeship programme where he hand-picks promising students to train in the lab.

Rook is Vil's most trusted co-worker and the first person to have passed his rigorous training to work in the labs with him. He's particularly fascinated by creatures captured on different planets for study and re-release, with the more dangerous encounters being his favourite.

Epel is the newest recruit within the Pomefiore sector, and Vil's only current apprentice. While he dislikes being cooped up in a lab instead of being able to explore new planets or work alongside security, he is quite skilled in the sciences and thrives under Vil's tutelage.

Idia is the head of Ignihyde, the sector that manages the servers and intranet aboard the station, along with cybersecurity. His job is to make sure that the station can connect to other spacecrafts, stays safe from any hacking attempts, and keeps an eye out for potential up-fuckery in terms of digital security - protecting the money in the space station, and any sensitive information that's best kept from potentially dangerous individuals.

Ortho is an advanced robot created in Idia's likeness, who attends all in-person meetings in his stead. He is constantly connected to, and aware of, the statistic of the space station servers, intranet, and connectivity status - and will be able to not only notify his brother of any issues, but even deal with them himself if necessary.

Malleus's sector, Diassomnia, is quite odd in the sense that it has two jobs - both healing and combat. Members of the Diassomnia sector are in charge of managing the infirmary and dealing with any injuries, as well as assisting Savannaclaw against outside enemies through the use of strong fighter ships and weaponry.

Lilia is Malleus's right and and specialises in combat - often holding training sessions with any of the employees aboard the station, regardless of sector or species, on how to fight an enemy who may have infiltrated security and boarded the station.

Silver works mostly in the medical part of Diassomnia, often being found in the infirmary. While he's seen sleeping quite often, as is a quirk of his species, Silver is always quick to rouse if someone needs medical attention from him. He's also trained in rescue, able to carry injured people away from combat areas safely and swiftly.

Sebek, as the newest Diassomnia member, splits his focus evenly between both responsibilities of the sector. He's often seen training in different offensive and healing skills - aiming for mastery of both fields to try and serve Malleus as well as he possibly can.

Map of the space station from the Bottom floor (F1) to the top floor (F4) - subject to change (I'm bad at floor plans)

[noir-raven]

Dragon Lord Carter

------------

Carter was built by me, but his Sabertooth Leopard is an old Heroclix. Both were painted by the same friend who painted Orion. Carter is going to simply be a deathworld veteran. His beastie, i'm not sure.

------------

Carter is a Catachan veteran who grew up taking a great interest in the beasts and monsters of his homeworld. He spent many years trying to understand and tame the monsters. He holds a deep reverence to animals and wild beasts.

For most of his life, he had the moniker of "The Beastmaster" for his tendency to have a small crew of tamed local beasts following him into battle. On a hive world during one of his deployments, Carter adopted a large hound, and the hound went with him everywhere from then on. During a night on guard duty, the hound helped itself to some officers rations, and the commissar executed it. In a fury, Carter went AWOL and abandoned his regiment, becoming a mercenary who would travel with anyone, as long as they paid and left his pets alone.

Carter found his niche in capturing and taming animals for various menageries belonging to Rogue Traders and planetary governers. Some jobs were simple, hunting down problematic beasts on agri-worlds, or other jobs were procuring some rare animal for a menagerie.

Carter has a deep love for animals and beasts, and as such never takes kindly to a beast with bionics - the only time he is willing to tolerate it is if the bionic is essential for the animals survival. He would rather the beast survive on it's own merits.

He earned the name "The Dragon Lord" whilst working as a mercenary for a Rogue Trader against a group of Eldar Exodites. Their coterie had captured one of the fierce lizards that the Eldar had used as mounts, and over the weeks of the campaign, Carter was able to bring the massive lizard to heel. Carter personally rode it into battle against the Eldar in the final battles of the campaign, and left the monstrous lizard with the Trader on his departure.

Most recently, Carter has fallen in with an Inquisitor named Orion, and has agreed to follow him. He has his sights set on Taming one of the massive Ice "Bears" that inhabit one of the icy moons of Tsardoma, Orion's home system.

[carionto]

Someone has to clean up our messes...

George Rhoedigher and his team had the most unenviable of jobs - investigating, reporting, and cleaning up (in legalese) any "oopsies" Humanity "accidented". Barely over a year among the star civilizations and our rap sheet is longer than some million year old empires. Good job us.

This latest incident he's been dispatched to is the biggest yet - a whole planet-wide fire. In a sense, also the simplest and most straightforward - three dinosaur lunes shot lasers at an oxygen overabundant planet and then logic caught up.

The problem George has with any of these is that he has to try to make it less damning in the eyes of the Coalition. If he and fellow investigator-lawyers just reported the facts as is, Humans doing science outside Sol would be banned in a heartbeat, which the Government is very insistent we retain the ability to do, without utilizing our superior fleets. We'd rather avoid outright becoming the "Bad Guys" if we can, "Crazy Deathworlders" is enough.

Anyway, planet Ramforinkus was pure ash on the surface and what's left of the atmosphere was toxic as hell. Supposedly there's still plenty of bio activity below ground, so it should recover in some form or fashion over time, but still, the before and after images are grim - lush, clear green and blue, now hazy gray and brown.

The statements from the three scientists in charge aren't helpful either:

Everie Jackobson: "I was working on reversing the evolutionary tree of these peacocks, I'm pretty sure they'll become pterodactyls if I push them the right way! Hmm? So what if it caught fire again, it does that all the time. [George points him to the view port] Oh, that's a bit more than normal. Anyway... [George leaves after a minute of Everie rambling to himself]"

Henrietta Fink: "There comes a time when life must adapt to its surroundings. But this damned planet kept changing its environment all the time, none of my babies could survive the swift changes in air composition! I asked Gieverne to help me figure out a way to stabilize the planet."

Gieverne Drostierne: "At first I misted an area with a mutating chemical compound to get the plants to produce less Oxygen, but the change didn't last more than a generation, so I did the next best thing: injected a genetic catalyst into a swarm of flying ants we keep around and let loose several colonies around the planet.

For whatever reason, the ants instead mutated [George visibly shudders hearing about mutant ants again] and started replacing the flora of the planet. Look, I even got a few queens before torching the planet and seeding it with the original flora. The ants turned green and have little leaves just behind their wings and can theoretically survive perpetually anywhere with a bit of air! Look at those leaves flap, ain't they cute?"

...

George sighs. Getting the truth is always pretty easy from these science folk, but it's always something blatantly stupid like that. He's gonna have to do some serious mental gymnastics to make this incident not be another clear-cut example of "Irrefutable Proof Humans Are Not Allowed To Do Science Anywhere!"

Hmm... In cases like these the best way around fines and sanctions is to provide results that arise from these "accidents". What researches take via creating the most catastrophic disasters, they give back through thorough data recording and analysis for practical applications.

Here's hoping there's enough Aliens who are as big fans of dinosaurs as many Humans are.

[aimportantdragoncollector]

in the pet deathworlder Au does Hawks exist ?

Hawks is a Federation agent to mirror him working for the HPSC in canon. He was part blackmailed part brainwashed into working for them as the son of a criminal, and he does not like his job. I'm not sure if he'll have a chance to appear in the series.

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

Do cybertronians know about psyhological illnesses, Like PTSD, AHAD, schizofrenia,...?

I remember Readingu a post about how they didn't know that was a think and were suprises when the humans showed them ?

Cybertonians definitely have some mental illnesses, but not quite the same outlook or range that Earth does.

I think the war definitely would, at the very least, introduce PTSD/CPTSD, which we can definitely see in Arcee in the show and infer it with a few other characters. A violent war tends to leave mental scars.

However, I think that most Cybertronians would have a very selective and limited idea of mental illness as a concept, (and almost none for neurodivergence.) Cybertron in its Golden Age, the time period everyone looks up to in some form, functioned *ha* with a caste system rooted in functionalism. Your form equates to your function which is equal to your job which is where your worth as an individual and member of society solely comes from.

With that in mind, it's my own personal headcanon that anything that could potentially impede the function your frame has dictated to you could basically jeopardize, not only your livelihood but potentially your life. Anything that could cause an individual to deviate from the norm and no longer be productive in the exact specification required from your predetermined role is a glitch in the system. An imperfection that would not be tolerated or cared for.

If you were well-off enough, or the "glitch" was minor enough, an individual might be able to get away with whatever mental illness they were suffering from. However, if you're on the wrong side of the social ladder? You are fragged.

Consequently, this would have resulted in an "erasure" of mental illnesses and less understanding of them. Think back to those dark days when a sad/emotional/uncooperative woman was automatically diagnosed with hysteria. Or when asylums thought shock therapy and lobotomies were legitimate treatments? That's what Cybertron would have been like. This is a planet where shadowplay was done to opposing political candidates just because they were difficult (I still have mixed feelings about Shockwave). Mental care means nothing because everyone and anyone could be regulated to a simple cog in the machine, and good cogs don't think.

And if those cogs don't run right? Just replace them with the next version that was just forged.

Just no bueno with mental care whatsoever.

Earth, meanwhile, actually has names, treatment plans, and support groups. Random strangers encourage each other. There's empathy, there's an understanding that your disease, the mental demons you fight, doesn't define you. That people have worth on the single virtue of them existing.

We make jokes about our mental states. We find the good even in our difficulties. We explore and figure out why our minds work like this. We get help, whether through, medication, therapy, or friends that hold us accountable. We bond over that dark humor because we all struggle in some way or form and we fight to remind ourselves and others that struggling is okay. It just means that you haven't given up your fight, so you should be proud.

For Earth, mental illness isn't something to be ashamed about and it shouldn't be demonized. It's just one more battle to fight on our Deathworld.

[beangirl73047]

BNHA/MHA Fic Recs

Lessons Learned

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack. Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out. --------------- Aka: Best Jeanist Acquires A Son. Featuring: Serious talks regarding abuse and emotional scars, one adult finally stepping the hell up and trying to help Katsuki, me going off about the sports festival because I'm still not over it, pro-heros having a group chat, and Katsuki finally getting a chance to learn how to be good.

throw me a goddamn rope - just enough to hang myself with

Shouta’s plan had been ill-defined and desperate from the start, but he figures the important shit boiled down to, “Change as little as possible, make sure Midoriya doesn’t get himself killed, and stock up on lychee jelly pouches because that flavor got discontinued three years from now.” Keeping it simple’s always better, and he’s normally good at improvising.

Somewhere along the way, he must’ve fucked up since now he has:

A quirkless problem child hanging off of his every word

His best friend going through a sexuality crisis thanks to said problem child’s mom

His other best friend clinging to him like a security blanket

Some two-bit mob boss threatening him with bouquets of daffodils

To wring the number one hero’s fucking neck for not telling him anything useful before sending him decades into the past

All he did was walk Izuku Midoriya home. It wasn’t meant to turn into whatever mess this is.

landscape after cruelty

“Bakugo, you need to update your costume.” Kirishima said, “There’s this one dude in the support class- he’s got a literal waiting list, that’s how good he is- but he did my new upgrade."

“Yeah,” Bakugo sighs and leans back on his hands, staring at the bracer. “I know. I’ll go,” his mouth twists a little. “I’ll go tomorrow. This is just- this is my design you know?” he’s not explaining himself very well, and refuses to look at Kirishima.

“It can be hard to give up your first hero design, and you did a great job,” Kirishima said. “You definitely had the best one out of all of us when we first got our costumes."

Bakugo hunched his shoulders. “I didn’t design it,” he grumbled.

Let's Reach the Horizon

After defeating All for One, all Izumi Midoriya wants are some holidays.

Then she gets kidnapped by aliens right after.

Well, at least her alien cat cellmate is nice.

It Takes a Child to Teach a Village

Life doesn't always go the way you want it to. Sometimes it just throws you in a garbage can and lights the garbage can on fire and laughs as you scream in agony. And all you can do is tell yourself that it'll be okay. That you'll be okay. And sometimes you're right and you wake up the next morning to a wonderful day full of sunshine and rainbows and singing birds and you start living life in a damn Disney movie.

Other times you're wrong. The cycle just continues. Maybe Life adds lighter fluid next time. Or fills the bottom of the can with dead fish. And it's up to you to get up off your sorry ass and do something to fix your life because it is clear that you're basically alone. When there's no hero coming to save you, you're forced to save yourself. Be your own hero.

Izuku decides the best way to be a hero is to be a teacher.

Packbonding with a Predator | MHA alien AU

[NO MHA KNOWLEDGE REQUIRED]

Humans- The primitive, savage beasts that poachers across the universe were dying (quite literally) to get their claws on. The no contact order placed on their deathworld, Earth, was supposed to ensure that none would ever pass the fringes of their solar system. They hadn't reached deep-space travel (and probably never would), so the Hyperspace Public Safety Commission was fairly certain that their unimaginable strength and bloodthirsty ways were no threat to the universe at large.

So imagine H'zashi's surprise when he and his bondmate, Shouta, were placed in a cell with one after being captured by intergalactically wanted poachers. He just hoped his flock would get a funeral.

And yet how, even though everyone knew humans were unintelligent and vicious, could the purple furred human speak Common? Even more surprising were its first words.

"No fight?"

same faces.

Midoriya is accidentally sent back in time to the entrance exam by a villain attack. He decides to take advantage of the situation and fix the things that went horribly wrong himself.

(this is a standalone teaser for now; I'll probably come back to it at some point but I wrote this with the intention of showing off a snippet, not the first part of a series)

Things aren't as bad as they seem (they are usually worse)

Giyuu can feel the tugging of his heartstrings and realises, with the briefest flash of horror, that he got attached to Class 1-A.

[jpitha]

What got you inspired to write your humans are space orcs/death worlders/capybaras? Was it your own inspiration that happened to already have a name, or did someone else inspire you to contribute to the general idea?

I've been reading science fiction since I was a kid; my dad had a huge dusty box of 60s and 70s old school science-fiction - Niven, Pournelle, Heinlein, Asimov, stuff like that. I've always had a love of Sci-fi novels, especially pulpy adventure ones.

Later in my adult life I come across Deathworlder and HFY fiction through reblogs and twitter and reddit threads. I devour them and realize that a lot of the themes in them are the same themes that were explored in the 60s and 70s.

It was then an easy (hah) thing to mash the two together and build my own world. I drive a desk for my day-job with a decent commute in the car. All my best ideas came from driving around and from daydreaming when I'm working.

[mikami1992]

He compartido 2180 publicaciones este 2022

¡Son 2180 más que en 2021!

16 publicaciones originales (1 %)

2164 reblogueos (99 %)

Estos son los blogs que más he reblogueado:

@stealingyourbones

@im-totally-not-an-alien-2

@ocearnawrites

@thesadumbreon

@thecollectibles

He etiquetado 118 publicaciones en 2022

#batman: 53 publicaciones

#danny phantom: 47 publicaciones

#humans are weird: 20 publicaciones

#dp x batman: 20 publicaciones

#batfamily: 17 publicaciones

#humans are space australians: 16 publicaciones

#humans are space orcs: 16 publicaciones

#danny phantom x batman: 16 publicaciones

#humans are deathworlders: 15 publicaciones

#dp x dc: 14 publicaciones

Longest Tag: 98 characters

#this was the confirmation that the flash family needed to know that batman is a supernatural being

Mis publicaciones más populares este 2022:

5

Can someone make a fic where "Brucie Wayne" gets so angry, that his true personality is shown before Gotham's high society?

359 notas. Fecha de publicación: 27 de mayo de 2022

4

Crazy Idea #2

Special Report on "It Happened in Gotham", his news video blog about this dark city...

...On the night of yesterday and less than 24 hours after his escape, the Joker was arrested during an attempted hijacking of a Night Bus.

Both in the security video, as well as in the transport passengers, the facts of how the Villain together with 4 heavily armed henchmen have been described, they intercepted and boarded the bus in the suburbs, they proceeded to leave the driver unconscious, they took hostages the passengers and drove the bus towards the docks.

As for the passengers, they were terrorized at gunpoint and knife to make them remain still and silent in the middle of the transport.

And it is here where the kidnapping proceeded to break the norm, since it was discovered that at the bottom of the bus there was still a hidden passenger, said passenger was sleeping with headphones and lying on 2 of the seats, according to the police report, it was the music that came out of the headphones which betrayed the existence and location of the 20-year-old.

Noticing the sound, it was the Joker himself who proceeded to look for him and discover the sleeping passenger, and immediately proceeded to wake him up, with the obvious purpose of damaging him; but the young man did not react as everyone expected...

According to the testimonies of the other passengers, when the young man woke up and saw the murdered clown, he shouted the name "FreekShow" and punched him in the face and then applied a key that broke the criminal's right arm, dislocated his left shoulder and finally he knocked out the clown from suffocation, before the henchmen reacted the young man yelled something "Clones" and proceeded to take them down quickly and efficiently; and although a few shots were fired at the 20-something, none hit him or the other passengers.

The journey of the kidnapping attempt ended when one of the passengers took control of the bus while the others called 911 to recover their cell phones, as for the young man, as soon as he finished subduing the attackers, he took a seat in a random place and continued sleeping.

During the interrogations of the insider, it was shown that the 20-year-old, who has not yet been identified by the press, subdued all the attackers in a sleepwalking attack, so he did not remember what had happened; since according to his account, the last thing he remembers before being woken up by the paramedics, is falling asleep shortly after getting on the bus to go to his night job at a gas station. An internal source assures that the young man did not believe what he had done, to the point of having to see the transportation security recording to see that what they told him was real and not a joke.

513 notas. Fecha de publicación: 2 de noviembre de 2022

3

A group of space slavers have just lost contact with a section of the spaceship...

To be exact, the area where he has the most valuable merchandise...

...including the group of human teenagers they got on their last raid....

When they manage to open the doors of the lost zone, they notice some things... there is no power,  only the emergency lighting in the place... neither can anyone see or hear anything...

they take their weapons firmly and enter the corridor....

just a few meters from the door... it closes and locked...

the speakers start to work, playing the song...

525 notas. Fecha de publicación: 8 de septiembre de 2022

2

The dead son of Batman

Imagine a JL disaster situation, several heroes are already reported missing or presumed dead, the last one apparently is Batman..

and that annoys his children, especially the last one I adopted...

yep, Phantom enters all ballistic and King of the Dead mode at 100% (gigantic, that the mere presence of him is enough to instill terror in anyone)...

he ends up defeating the bad guy in turn and leaving a wasteland of destruction...

but surprise, surprise, Batman comes out in the middle of the rubble, He's alive!...

And Danny just goes back to normal and goes flying to hug him while he screams "Dad!"...

but surprise, everything that happened ends up recorded in the international news....

And what do you say:

how would the world react?

603 notas. Fecha de publicación: 20 de mayo de 2022

Mi publicación más popular de 2022

Crazy Idea #1...

Danny ends up transformed into a baby by Youngblood and Ember...

after defeating both of them he ends up discovering that the effect of the transformation will wear off over time, so Danny, Jazz, Sam and Tucker create an alibi for the week and end up spending it in Danny's new Lair for a much needed redesign... ........

Meanwhile, some members of the Justice League along with Constantine are trying to stop a cult from summoning the Ghost King... and while they managed to stop all the cultists, they couldn't stop the activation of the ritual so they only have to watch and prepare for what's coming....

after a series of flashes, lights, flames and ice everything returns to normal with the only difference being the small mass of starry sky that is now in the middle of the summoning circle... when reviewing it they notice that it is a Frasada and below it is a sleeping baby... a baby with white hair, bluish skin, elven ears and a small crown floating on his head....

So everyone comes to a conclusion...

the ritual went wrong, and they ended up kidnapping the baby prince of the dead...

now the JL together with Constantine have to find a way to return him to his house before the King comes to invade the planet looking for his son...

meanwhile Danny has had the best rest for months, so he keeps sleeping...

756 notas. Fecha de publicación: 27 de octubre de 2022

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[taro-pdf]

I wrote my own it might be too long but i didn't want to edit it and had so much fun writing it.

Humans are space oddities: disability and connection

Context: the main alien is Feja, xe/xer, an adult 4th gender tuscia (Tuscia are bipedal beings that communicate mainly through frequencies higher than humans do. Their kind have 5 sexes and 5 main societal gender roles)

Feja didn’t get along well with xer crewmates. It was hard to communicate cross-species, and even harder when most of them were terrifying deathworlder humans and couldn’t hear you. That’s why, when they stopped to pick up a group of even more humans in the Acrux solar system, Feja wasn’t exactly excited.

The humans’ voices were low, loud, rumbles in as they boarded, speaking of things Feja didn’t know and couldn’t share. But xe had to do xer job, which involved initiating a small group of new humans who would share the same sort of tasks as xer. Not that xe wanted to share xer tasks with beings who drank poison for fun and kept predators as pets. But xer job was xer job.

“Hello, welcome to the Yenna,” xe paused, allowing a few seconds for the translator to work. “My name is Feja, xe/xer, tuscia, and I will be orienting you to your roles and responsibilities. You should have already received a brief. If you have any questions about that, please let me know.”

Xe fidgeted as xe waited. It was always so awkward as the translators worked. And sometimes older translators wouldn’t pick up xer voice correctly at all.

One of the humans’ mouths let out a few rumbles, followed by Feja’s translator repeating their words to xer, “Are their Uni-10 translators provided? I missed some of what you said.” 

Feja smiled and the human’s eyebrows scrunched. From previous experience, xe knew that it was confused, probably not used to tuscia body language. Feja let out a small hiss, but replied, “We don’t provide translators, but if communication is an issue, I can transfer you to a different group.” 

A pause, a low rumble, and then Feja’s translator spit out a mechanical, “I think that’d be best. Thanks for being flexible!” 

The other humans in Feja’s group had better translators, and xe was able to finish xer initiation protocol with few issues. Slightly exhausted, xe started to walk back to xer room. Why did xe ever sign up for this? Maybe somewhere where beings could actually converse with xer without a translator? And why, oh why did xe have to work with so many deathworlders?

Turning the corner into the narrow corridor that led to the sleeping rooms, Feja saw a human, looking at their watch, then the signs next to each door, apparently trying to find a match. Their long white hair was plaited and reached their waist, and they were wearing a blue tunic that contrasted with their tan skin.

Feja approached and clacked xer mouth, a sound that xe knew humans could hear, to ask to pass by, but the human didn’t turn. They tried to open another door—evidently not theirs, as the keypad buzzed red. Feja clacked harder, to no response. As the human turned to another door, xe approached and tapped them. The human jumped, then turned and waved. Luckily not angrily. A human could take Feja down in a second. They looked down to their watch and started typing something.

Hey! I’m Kell, they/them, human, and new on board the Yenna, but not a traveler. The text was transmitted directly to Feja’s watch, and xe was surprised to see it was in universal language, not a human one that would have needed further translation. I’ve been hired as a tech assistant, so I should get my own room, but my initiation guide didn’t tell me where it was, and I’m having trouble with these numbers. Does the ship use a different language?

Not an uncommon problem for those first on board. Why didn’t their initiator tell them that?

“Most written text is in the captain’s birth tongue,” Feja explained. Kell tapped their glasses and text scrolled across their screen, but they didn’t look away from xer. “It’s Suav, and probably not in your translator’s database. You can add it, or you could use Anglu, which is close enough that it picks up most things.”

Kell smiled and switched their watch to Anglu, then translated the signs. Seeing the results, they hit their forehead with their fist, thumb out. Feja startled, neck ruff raised.

“Are you alright?” Xe asked. Even with how durable humans were, most of them didn’t hit themselves. Faja’s words scrolled across Kell’s glasses, then they laughed. 

I’m fine. That was sign language; I was calling myself stupid because I’m about 100 doors and a floor away. They look up and chuckled.

“Sign language? Like the Ruq’?”

Yeah, though the Ruq’ never evolved ears. Mine just don’t work, I’m what humans call Deaf. I grew up with signs.

“So you sign to your fellow humans?”

Ha! Kell raised a lip—a sign of a negative emotion, though Faja wasn’t sure which one. I wish. I’ve only met a few who know any, and then usually not the same one I use. I text to talk to most beings. That’s why I’m in tech and not navigation.

“But you use the Universal Interplanetary Language, not Human, and that’s quite a feat of learning. Surely you had a choice in your occupation, especially considering how you’re a human…” Feja shifted on xer feet. The human-other ratio on board Yenna was unusually high, but that was because they specialized in human transport. Humans easily got jobs as medics, security, and soldiers, especially as almost every intergalaxy ship had at least one. But most beings didn’t want to so much as be near the same fleet with so many of such a volatile species. Humans were known for their adaptability, cunning, and ferocity after all. 

When you can’t communicate with most people, you have to do what makes it easiest, and for me that was making sure to limit translation times as much as possible. 

Feja winced at xer own thoughts of Kell’s possible violent nature. Xe looked down at xer messages, a wall of one-way texts, and winced again. Xe typed back, that’s my reason for learning UPL, too. Kell’s eyes widened. 

You stopped speaking? My translator can write your words out for me.

Feja smiled. It didn’t seem fair. We can keep a record of what I say, too.

 Thanks. Kell blinked and shook their head. That’s not something I even thought of.

I know what it’s like when it’s more work to communicate. The humans tend to ignore me.

Me too. Kell had the same look that Faja felt when the other human asked about a different group earlier today. Even though the conversation was slower texting, xe didn’t want to stop.

I’ll walk you to your room. I can read Suav numbers, at least. What’s your’s?

Kell brightened and checked their brief. It should be 470. 

Alright, that’d be down this hallway. It’s a relief, Faja thought, that they aren’t pushing me away.

A few steps later, Faja’s watch buzzed. Xe looked down.

Hey Faja, how many languages do you know? Kell looked at them. Their eyes were so very green! Faja stared. Human’s colors were usually so dull. The lack of rumbling talking meant that xe could spend more attention than usual on what xe saw, and xer eyes wre drawn to the vibrancy of a color xe rarely saw in space. Shaking xer head to focus, xe counted the languages xe knew.

Two fluently, five partially. They’re fun to learn, though it doesn’t mean much when no one on board can hear me.

Kell thought for a second, started typing, paused, then sent their message.

Language isn’t always about hearing. Have you thought about learning sign language?

It was Faja’s turn to pause. Kell brushed a wrinkle out of their shirt. This human was making an effort to bond… with xer. Even though xer was a different species, and even though xer couldn’t offer any career advancement or connections. Xe closed xer eyes and inhaled. Maybe, just maybe, xe would make their first friend on board. It really wasn’t a question, then, was it? This deathworlder wasn’t so bad.

Xe typed xer reply: 

I’d love too.

I need more humans are space orcs stuff where humans aren't an immortal species who can never die ever, because that's

boring

2. unrealistic

Not every human is going to survive crash landings, or losing a limb without medical care, or get impaled (people die in hospitals WITH people who know what they're doing, they're most likely not going to survive with someone who doesn't know what they're doing), or getting bombed??? Do you just expect to survive getting bombs????

Also! People CAN be disabled and need medical aids/have mental illnesses that make them need a caregiver of some sort (I don't like how people just conveniently forget about people with disabilities unless it makes them “cool”)

Humans also will not mindlessly kill things, even if they know that it's “just” an animal (people will cry about having to kill an animal that was attacking them) in fact most people don't want to kill anything unless they have to. Do some of you just not want humans to have empathy?

Also, stop acting like aliens would be the exact same person with the same personality, or acting like only humans can be disabled??? That's so weird and (I'm not disabled, so take this with a grain of salt) the way some of you act like disabled people are wrong for being disabled would make me so sad if I was reading it while disabled.

Example-

A couple years ago, I read someone have an alien think that a disabled human shouldn't have survived being disabled from birth?? and it was not corrected to have some sort of message of “hey! That's actually Really fucked up!” it was just a post talking about how humans are weird, how it's a miracle that we survived long enough to leave earth. It feels insulting and rude and I hate it. Stop.

Instead, maybe have a disabled alien bonding with a disabled human, that's cool, cute, fun, and not fucking ablest!

I was going to write more, but I'm too pissed off right now

[shadowspellchecker]

Hold my beer...

1. 1. Anyone would be a better teacher

#Crossover #Open-fandom #Harry_Potter

2. 1. Lost in Space AU

#Fusion #Open-fandom #Lost_In_Space

3. 2. Main Character is raised Imperial 

#Canon_Divergence #Fusion #Fandom_Specific #Star_Wars

7. 6. North and South AU

8. 7. Timer AU

#True_AU #Open_fandom

9. 8. Roman Empire AU

10. 9. Male lead is Cohortes Urbanae 

11. 10. The obligatory Ghosts (USA) AU.

12. 11. They are your coworkers

Write a scenario where they work wherever it is that You, IRL, work. What do they do? Do any of them like the job? Who do you most get along with?

13. 12. New in Town AU

X is an ambitious upcoming corporate executive coming to shut down a factory. Y is the union representative. Featuring Z as Blanche Gunderson.

14. 13. New in Town AU… in SPACE!

15. 14. Hospital Procedural 

16. 15. Civil War AU

16b. Gone with the Wind-inspired AU 

17. 16. Civil War Hospital AU

Because Mercy Street is Awesome

18. 17. Spanish American War AU

19. 18. Western

20. 19. Dragons AU

21. 20. Pern AU

22. 21. American revolution 

23. 22. Braveheart AU

25. 24. Naruto AU

26. 25. Deathworlders AU

28. 27. Zealot AU

29. 28. Atlantis the Lost Empire AU

30. 29. NCIS AU

31. 29. DnD AU

33. 31. The one where they're the Tabletop RPG players and canon is an RPG

34. 32. Raiders of the Lost Ark AU

36. 33. Raiders of the Lost Art AU (not a duplicate)

42. 39. Napolitano Vampire AU

Watch Commissario Ricciardi and you'll understand where this idea is from. Really, it's all about the mood. 

43. 40. Moody Victorian Crime Solving Drama AU

See above, but set in Victorian or early Edwardian England. You might even have a variant of Miss Scarlet and the Duke. 

44. 41. Epistolary Victorian AU

Any excuse for Flower language 

45. 42. Green grocer AU

46. 43. Weed distributors AU 

…your One Stop Shop for legal Marijuana!

47. 44. Beauty and the Beast AU. 

48. 45. The Lawn Ornament AU.

Like Toy Story but with lawn ornaments. 

Featuring Benny the Gnome, Cleo the Flamingo, Shaibel as one of those ceramic tree faces… 

49. 46. The Honest Star Wars AU: TQG in Star Wars

50. Covid AU

Main Characters. Covid lock down. Go.

51. Corvid AU

They might be crows. They might be ornithologists. If you want to get adventurous, they might be both. If you're really adventurous (or out for heartbreak), there's one of each.

52. 49. Redwall AU

53. 50. Wizard of Oz remixes

54. 51. Manifest / Twilight Zone Odyssey of Flight 33 AU

They're all passengers on this flight. What happens next is up to you.

55. 52. Wildcats AU

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/WildCats1986

This, but Beth is the main character and Shaibel was the one raising her. 

57. 54. The Cleanup Crew

Set in the universe of Indiana Jones. After Adventure Archaeologists like Indiana and Aphra go busting through ancient secrets and forbidden temples, your main characters are the team that goes in to smooth things over with the local governments, silence strategically unsafe witnesses, set up cover stories, replace death traps and transport eldritch objects into high security. While living in hope that maybe, just maybe, the paperwork will be finished sometime this century. 

58. 55. Animal shelter AU

59. 56. Main Character is in Make Way For Ducklings

Reasoning:

Benny Watts is in New York

Make Way for Ducklings is in New York

New York traffic jam caused by duckling train

Benny reacting to being stuck in said traffic jam

Why is he upset 

Traffic jam from ducks keeping him from a chess game

Ducks block Benny from chess game

Ducks land on Benny's chess game in Central Park 

Benny sues duck 

Chess Federation sues Ducks

Chess Federation v. Duck et al, 1970. 

59b. 56b. Your main character places a frivolous lawsuit.

60. 57. ATLA AU

Beth Harmon as Azula. Azula as Beth Harmon

63. 59. Pokemon Red AU

64. 60. Or a more general Pokémon AU

65. 61. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon AU. Pick your version. 

66. 62. Kanto AU, but they're all pokemon. 

67. 63. The Rookie (2002) AU (skip, too similar)

68. 64. Renaissance AU

69. 65. Edwardian AU

70. 66. Edwardian silverware AU

The characters are sentient silverware commenting on the behaviors of the people eating the meal. That's it. That's the fic. 

71. 67. Victorian-style Toy Story AU

72. 68. Antiques Roadshow AU

Pick two media. The mains for one are hosts and antiques experts on the show; the other are the guests. Who gets what specialty? Who brings in what? How do they react?

73. 69. Things [your fandom main characters] are no longer allowed to do

74. 70. House AU. 

75. 71. The Death Star and the Executor are both sentient. And the Executor is either Territorial or Jealous.

76. 72. Darth Vader's Suit

...has a mind of it's own

77. 73. Your favorite Main Characters decide to passive-aggressively install a gazebo on someone's lawn. 

78. 74. The Sannin in Star Wars

79. 75. Group of Main Characters vs Paperwork

80. 76. Vienna Blood AU

81. 77. And then there were none AU

82. 78. In a kinder universe…

The mains never meet because they live very different lives

83. But say in a slightly less kind universe…

But say in a slightly less kind universe, still miles kinder than Canon. 

84. Period Piece Fight Club

Your MCs all come from different historical settings. They are kidnapped by… something and forced to duke it out in a tournament or round-robin to decide which setting they get to be dropped off. Not all of them are even fighters! From whence does each character come, what was their occupation, how do they fight, are they even able to fight given their circumstances at the time of kidnap (i.e. are they injured, do they have ammo, are they sworn never to touch a blade?), who wins. Fill in blanks in the premise: can the characters communicate, is it to the death, can they communicate with each other (i.e. translator microbes), is there healing, can they communicate with each other off the field and/or without being observed, what are the tournament runners motivations and what are the rules?

86. Wacky marriage proposal

87. Galactic food blog AU (for space operas)

88. Ghosts + Downton Abbey + 3rd fandom

Your MCs are in a modern AU and staying at Downton Abbey, which has been refurbished as a B&B. One of your characters sees ghosts. Downton has a lot of them. 

Bonus corollary: if your MCs are from Downton Abbey how do they handle meeting themselves?

91. Crossdresser Zorro remix.

92. Conventional Zorro remix

93. "Where is New Jersey?!" 1776 crossover 

94. Name your time Lord. 

95. Amnesia au

96. Warring states au

97. Warrior cats au

Pictures would be great. 

I know I got my statistical human to cat coat color correspondence chart somewhere…

98. Labyrinth AU

99. Jack Ryan but with your mains instead of Jack. 

100. They are superheroes

101. You Got Mail remix

102. Middle Ages au

103. The mains recognize each other from their dreams 

104. Soulmate geese transformation 

105. Your mains are the leads in Mythbusters-style TV show 

106. Poker AU

107. Turn left at Kirk's Rock…

Even if they are in Star Wars

109. Designated Survivor au

110. Pirates and privateers

111. Jurassic park au

112. Jurassic Parking; all your mains use the same car park. It's dinosaur themed. 

Bonus: "And then someone just shows up and buries a dead king under it."

113. Main Character is Cursed by angry old woman. Any time he swears, he is mobbed by seagulls. 

116. A heavily-armored X lands on Palpatine. Yes, you know which fic I'm cribbing here. Yes, this is the plot. Everything else is just icing.

117. A clear and meaningful assessment of your main character group's alcohol tolerances.

118. Young Tom Riddle is raised by Main

119. Main Character is a fairy-doctor

121. /Anyone/ showing up in The Martian 

122. Police Academy AU 

As inspired by Lucillia

123. My Little Pony Fusion

124. Zombie apocalypse strikes your canonverse

125. Main Character, olympian runner

126 - Dreamingverse

Everyone had a second set of false memories that grow with them as they age. We call this one's Dreaming. These false memories depict another life, superficially similar to one's own circumstances or even resemblant of historical figures – but they are false indeed, in truth quite unreliable in history, personages, and even natural laws (please don't test this; even now children regularly die trying to fly if left unsupervised before becoming acquainted with the Waking). It would be an untruth to equate the dream-self to the self; they can be quite different people. Similarity can be quite random. Often people who strongly affect each other may find their Dreamings overlap, even recognizing each other from drawings if one is of an artistic bent. We call this sharing a Dreaming. 

Key characters are born with the memories of other lives and another world. What do they do with them?

Rule:

Memories they have access to correspond with equivalent physical age.

129. House Hunters AU

130. How to Winnebago without even trying.