#99% sure it’s not happening but eddie is surely planning something…

[eddieydewr]

i fear eddie is considering re-enlistment since he thinks his son hates him and isn’t coming home, and he is doomed to grieve for shannon for the rest of his life so he may as well leave and die doing something useful 🤕🤕🤕

[starryeyedjanai]

@eddiemonth prompt: first concert | read on ao3

The first concert of Corroded Coffin's that Steve goes to, Eddie's a nervous wreck beforehand.

His hands are sweaty and he's wringing them as he paces outside after they get their equipment inside.

Jeff takes one look at him and sighs.

He knows how Eddie feels about Steve and he knows how important it is that they make a good impression on him. He might not understand the whole Steve thing, but he gets having a crush on someone unattainable.

Well-

When Eddie first told him about it, he thought it was just an unattainable little crush. Just something that happened because they got close after the earthquake. Steve was a new friend, someone Eddie hadn't known long enough to get used to, and he's - Jeff's not going to pretend he isn't attractive.

So he understood it, kind of. And the thought that the crush would fade once Eddie knew him for longer.

But Steve hanging around them, making an effort to get to know Jeff and Grant and Gareth, being nice to Jeff's mom- that had Jeff pausing and taking another look at the situation.

Because Steve didn't have to do any of that. He could hang out with Eddie, maybe the one freak he could tolerate, and call it a day.

But he was trying, and he was being better than he was in high school. Which, if anyone asks, Jeff would say he actually wasn't all that bad in high school compared to the others.

So Jeff looked a little more closely.

And saw the way Steve looks at Eddie, his eyes tracking him as he crosses the room. He saw the way Steve laughed at all of Eddie's jokes, even the ones he didn't understand. He saw the way Steve was always looking for an excuse to touch Eddie, putting a hand on his arm, putting a hand on his back, his arm around him, hugging him at the end of the night and the hugs lasting longer than any hug Jeff's ever had with a buddy.

He saw that and saw that this isn't a passing fancy for Eddie. He saw the way Eddie leaned into Steve unconsciously, the way he always looks for him first when entering a room, the way he lights up when he sees him. He saw the way Eddie seemed to like him more and more, and subsequently talk about him more and more, the more he got to know him.

So it wasn't just a crush.

And it wasn't unrequited like Eddie thought.

But now Jeff is watching him pace a hole in the ground and he can't exactly tell Eddie that he's 99% sure that Steve feels the same because 1. he wouldn't believe him and 2. that 1% of doubt is enough to deter him. This isn't something he can be wrong about. Even if feels mostly sure, he wouldn't ever say that he should go for it when it could turn ugly for him. This isn't a crush on some girl where the worst that could happen is that she says no.

So, for now, Jeff watches.

And Jeff hopes.

He hopes that they'll be able to see it for themselves. That Eddie will catch the way Steve looks at him and realize that it's the same way he looks at Steve.

He hopes that Steve will make a move, put those rumors of his suaveness to good use and woo Eddie.

He heads inside when he sees Gareth talking to Eddie, trying to calm him down.

He sees Steve and Robin, talking at a table near the front of the venue, and he makes a beeline for them.

"Jeff!" Steve says, smiling at him when he sees him coming over. He waves at both of them.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?" he asks and when Steve furrows his brow and nods, he leads him away from Robin.

"What's going on?" Steve asks, looking worried.

He says, "Just, Eddie's really nervous about performing in front of you tonight. So, like, even if we suck or you don't like this kind of music, can you not say you didn't like it? Not that I think you'd be mean about it, but like-"

Steve looks at him confused. "I've listened to your tapes before. I like your music. I wouldn't- okay, I mean I'd still be here even if I didn't like it, but I do like it. Wait- why's Eddie nervous?" he asks. And Jeff hadn't planned on Steve asking that. Shit.

He says, "Because you're his coolest friend and he doesn't want to screw up in front of you."

Steve's expression softens. "I'm not- you know what? Okay. If it makes you feel better, I won't say I didn't like it."

"Okay," Jeff says, nodding, relieved. "And don't, like, mention I said anything."

"'Course," Steve says with a smile. "You're a good friend, Jeff."

Jeff grins at him and walks him back to his table. That 1% is looking awfully less and less with every conversation Jeff has with Steve.

The manager waves him over and tells them they can start setting up on stage, so he goes to get the others.

-

The show is good, once Eddie snaps out of his nerves.

It's actually impressive, seeing him with shaky hands as they get ready to start and then seeing him turn it on seamlessly like he was never nervous in the first place.

They play and Jeff watches the way Eddie keeps looking at Steve, keeps looking to make sure he looks like he's enjoying himself.

And Jeff sees Steve smiling the entire time, singing along to the cover songs they do and also to one of their original songs.

At the end of the night, after they get their stuff back in their van, he sees Eddie and Steve talking, standing close, one of Steve's hands playing with the hem of Eddie's shirt.

And he knows they'll get there eventually, even without his help.

They'll find their way to each other and see what Jeff sees.

He's sure of it.

As he gets in the driver's seat and looks over at Grant, he can only hope he'll get that too one day.

[buddiebeginz]

I'm thankful for the Buddie scenes we got in this episode even though I wish we could have gotten so much more. In some ways I'm even thankful for the B/T scene we got because it creates a really stark contrast between the two ships.

It's clear that Buck's heart and soul are with Eddie and Chris. That while he might be attracted to T*mmy that relationship isn't about anything deeper. There's so much more they could have done with B/T in this episode if they wanted them to matter.

They could have actually defined if they’re in a relationship for one. Buck went the whole season without ever even saying boyfriend. They could have had T*mmy at the hospital with Buck yet they didn't. They could have used the dinner scene as a way for Buck and the audience to get to know Tommy more. For us to see him be supportive of Buck. He’s always just snippy or sarcastic and this scene didn’t help that. Instead of showing empathy for what Buck had been through, for his real fear of losing the only father figure Buck has known T*mmy was again dismissive (like we've seen from him with Buck multiple times before). His response to Buck talking about how he thought he almost lost Bobby this time is, “your father's alive." Worse he decides to be weirdly sexually in a conversation that really didn't warrant it in my opinion. And I have nothing against being kinky (99% of the fics I read are smut) but like there's a time and a place. Maybe when your date is talking about their dad almost dying isn't the best time to talk about your daddy kink. Just a thought.

I do wish Tim would have given us more of a signal where things are going with Buddie. I feel like there has been way to much use of Buddie to get people to watch (especially in the interviews) for them to not be a little more clear.

Also I feel like you can't make an episode like 704 where Buck clearly wanted Eddie's attention to not pick that back up even in a small way at the end of the season. We should have at least had hug between them and a moment. Nothing major. it didn't have to be an oh moment or an almost kiss but something a little more than what we got from the hug in 705. Just enough to let us know this is the direction things are moving it.

I've been really sure Buddie is in the plans (and I still believe that) but at the same time I also feel unsure of when that's going to happen. I felt certain Tim was going to give us some clue in the finale. Like I said I loved what we did get but at this point we deserve more. I know Buck only just came out and I know they had a short season. Obviously they weren't going to have both Buck and Eddie come out in the same season, still Tim knows how popular Buddie is and that many people watch just for them he needs to stop dragging his feet and pick a clear direction.

[scoupsahoy]

random finale opinions that i need to get out there

1. i LOVE plot armour 🥰🥰🥰 i love bobby being saved by the narrative. that being said 14 minutes is fucking insane and they didnt even really give him the buck coma treatment.... they probably could have if they didn't spend three entire episodes on the cruise

2. tommy has been pretty consistently written as someone who does not understand or really attempt to understand buck since 7x5. more than the daddy kink joke (which was like idk in relatively poor taste but i can see that they were like. flirting) the "your father is alive" was REALLY pointed and completely shifted the conversation from something that could have been serious into something flirty (something something buck and his previous relationships having been very surface-level and falling back on this "comfortably" even though he's clearly aching for something else) it just. that pissed me off WAY more. BUT. that plus the outfit at the bach party and the fact that lou was instructed to call buck evan EXCLUSIVELY is painting a really obvious picture for me that they're going to have a more serious break up which i think is being framed as something good

3. i hate eddies parents as much as the next guy but i understand why they took chris and i think it will be good for eddie to prioritize himself for the first time in his entire life without worrying about emotionally scarring his teenager. again i think this sets up an opportunity for growth and is being framed in an understandable way TO ME. maybe im giving the writers too much credit but this is the found family show

4. chris calling his grandparents in the first place does not make sense to me however. he's never done that.

5. buck not hugging eddie makes sense to me as well. like id love if they hugged sure but every time theyve ever hugged has been eddie hugging buck for buck's sake. buck likes to hug. but he also respects eddie's space and i think he was just like. comforting him the way eddie is most comfortable (shoulder touch, thumb rub) and i don't think it was weird that that's all that happened. i think that this does give eddie room to hug buck when he's ready to

6. gerrard being there sucks but it's giving when bill hader became interim captain on brooklyn 99 in between seasons and then immediately had a heart attack at the beginning of the next season. here's hoping

7. i don't have a hot take about the madney henren stuff other than it should have gotten more time and the abridged season really fucked them for so many of these storylines. i understand the people who think it's bullshit and i understand the people who think it's sweet and i feel like if it was given more time and therefore care it would have been received better

8. cartel bad (everyone agrees)

9. athena. girl. (everyone agrees)

10. in general i think a lot of people hopped onto this show really suddenly expecting it to be something other than what it was. it is a network television show: there are going to be corny dramatic unrealistic storylines and that's baked into the dna of the thing. it's an ensemble television show: it's not the bisexual buck show it's going to juggle storylines that are quite frankly more important and especially in a new-network abridged season, it's going to fuck it up a bit. next season is going to be better because they had more time with it before filming. this season had big ideas and poor planning. idk. people are expecting this show to be the pinnacle of television and it is JUST a television show. i have fun watching and that's sort of the point

i'll let these thoughts marinate but i wanted them to sit somewhere

[ghostcombustion]

Alone Again

Eddie Munson x Gn!MayfieldReader

It's not confirmed Eddie's gonna die, but like I'm 99% sure he won't make it, so before anything is confirmed, I thought it would be fun to write a little Eddie Oneshot ;) btw this is uneditted

Summary : After the events of season 4, Y/n is lost. Based on the song Alone Again by Gilbert O'Sullivan

Mentions : popular x loner trope, angst, slight sexual content

Word Counts : 896 words

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Things were off. Maybe it was the outside world, or perhaps it was just you.

After all the shit went down, you and Steve left for a good while. There was no real plan, but you both needed to get out. So you did. You two left without telling anyone.

Most nights ended with the two of you crying into each other arms. The guilt was building up and slowly overfilling. A majority of the time, you guys stayed in a multitude of hotels and just cuddled with the tv playing in the background.

The two of you understood each other's feelings. Both of you had lost someone who meant the world to you guys.

Max Mayfield was an extraordinary young lady who had such a bright future ahead of her. More importantly, she was your baby. Since the day she was born, you knew you were blessed to have such a lovely younger sister.

After the death of Billy, things started to change. Both of you tried to avoid the topic and tried to be happy. But it was just too hard.

Vecna had gotten both of you. First, it was Max, but thankfully you at least remember her favorite song. Then it was you when you and the other teens were trapped in the upside-down. You were so close to getting out too. Eddie managed to save you though. There was no music player so instead, he started singing your favorite song.

God, you loved him.

Everything that happened before total hell broke loose seemed like a blur to you. Then Vecna got a hold of Max, and everything went wrong. What was worse is you were with her when it happened. You tried your best to put up a fight against Vecna, but he merely used his vines to trap you. All you could do was shout hopelessly as he clawed his fingers in her gorgeous blue eyes. The ones you had always been jealous of.

Then everyone started to drop one by one. Nancy, Argyle, Mrs. Wheeler, Robin, and Mike. After all of that death, you stupidly believed it would be over.

And then Vecna tried to get you again, but once again, Eddie pulled you out of your trance.

Eddie the Freak Munson, the one man you loved with all your heart. And you would tell anyone that. Of course, when the school found out, your popularity went down, but you didn't care. You loved him. You loved him so fucking much it hurt.

His chapped lips pressed against your own was something you fantasized about constantly. You thought about how his veiny hands would slide across your chest, and every time you would shiver when his cold metal rings would touch your bare skin. Especially how he could make your body lose complete control with a single touch. He knew all your sweet spots and used his skills to try and make you feel like you were in heaven. And he did. No other man could do that to you.

Eddie was different from everyone else in Hawkins. He understood you better than anyone else in the universe could. You didn't feel like you had to put a mask around him. Growing up with the other kids, you felt alone. You felt nothing you did was good enough and would never be. You didn't feel special. Then Eddie raondomly showed up at a party and the two of you hit it off.

Maybe it was the drunk sex you two had that night, but after that party, you were inseparable. You practically forced Steve to become his friend.

You couldn't fully remember what led up to it. All you knew was Steve held onto your body tightly. You punched, clawed, and did everything in the book to make him let go, but he didn't budge. Even Steve had tears falling down the side of his face as the bats swarmed around him, around the both of them.

They both put up a good fight and as much as the two of you wanted to assist them in it, it was too late. Steve could hardly stand because of how much blood he had lost and his body was so worn down it would only cause trouble. How well could you fight with a dislocated arm?

So the two of you tried to hop over to them. Maybe you guys could act as a distraction. But you guys were too weak to make it.

You recalled shouting his name at the top of your lungs as the bat took a large bite from his neck. His blood continued to soak his shirt, but he kept trying to play until they swarmed him.

And then it just had to get worse. Once Eddie's body had been left to bits, they turned to the curly-haired brunette. His death was swift though.

You and Steve stayed there for a while. Both of you cried out until nothing would come out. Then you made your way out of that horrid place.

It was crazy to think that just a few weeks prior, you were cheerful and excited for the future. Now you were a total mess. Just a random person wandering around. The only noticeable features were the greasy hair and large bags under your eyes.

And even with Steve there, you felt alone again.

[buckleyblueyes]

Fanfic mashup 2 and 99? for buddie

Royal AU + Magical Accidents. (send me a mashup)

I'm feeling Prince Evan for this one.

Prince Evan was born because Daniel died, and sure Maddie is there and will inherit the throne eventually, but they’re still royalty and royalty needs extra heirs. Just in case. Especially since they already lost one. So, Evan grows up knowing he only exists as a backup plan that they hopefully won't end up needing, and as a result, he acts out for attention a lot.

He sneaks out of the palace in disguise as "Buck" and goes around just exploring the kingdom and meeting people, and somehow that version of him feels a lot more real than Prince Evan ever did. This is how he spends the majority of his teenage years, until one particular adventure lands him with an extended stay in the palace infirmary and his parents decide that he needs round the clock supervision to keep him from getting into any more trouble.

For next ten years he’s guarded closely by knights hand picked by the captain of the guard (Athena), some of them better than others, all the while being stuck inside the palace with nothing to do but read. At this point he’s read every book in the Royal library at least twice, some more than that, and he’s 27 for God’s sake. He doesn’t need a babysitter anymore.

So, he does the not at all immature thing and starts making it very very difficult for the knights to do their jobs. He starts sneaking out more frequently and intentionally hurting himself so they look bad. Everyone knows what he’s doing, but no one can prove it. And then Athena assigns Sir Eddie to the task.

Eddie sees through every single one of Evan's tricks. Maybe it's because Eddie has a kid of his own, or maybe he's just naturally gifted at sniffing out bullshit, but Evan can't get away with anything under Eddie's watch. At first, this drives Evan insane. But then he starts actually getting to know Eddie, and well. He's kind of great? He actually listens to Evan, and he's kind and understanding (he even agrees to use the name "Buck") and he's got the warmest brown eyes Buck has ever seen.

Not to mention Buck is sure his son is the most adorable kid in the entire kingdom. When Eddie explains that he took this job because he needs the extra money to support his kid, Buck's last bit of resolve to hate Eddie crumbles. When Eddie starts bringing Christopher around with him? Buck's in trouble.

(Eddie is also in trouble, Buck has no idea what seeing him interact with Christopher does to Eddie.)

It happens after over a year of dancing around each other. Buck is in the library, one of the few places he's allowed to go alone, since really, who could get hurt reading, looking desperately for something he hasn't already read multiple times, and he actually finds something. It's an old spell book, he realizes and laughs. He reads off one of the spells as a joke, because c'mon. Magic?

Except, well. It works. It's a levitation spell and suddenly he's floating over the bookshelves and hitting his head on the high, arching ceilings of the Royal Library. As soon as he realizes what's happening, he panics, and since magic requires focus, the spell is broken and he falls. He lands hard on the stone floor.

It's bad. As in, arm in a cast, Eddie getting fired bad. Eddie is understandably pissed because he thought he and Buck were, y'know, friends. And then Buck goes and gets him fired just like he had all the other knights. God, he was stupid to think anything else, wasn't he?

Buck is distraught. His parents are pissed, Eddie is pissed, and worst of all, Eddie is gone. Buck misses him, and he misses Christopher, and the ache in his chest is somehow worse than the pain of his physical injuries, and oh God, he's in love with Eddie.

In a desperate attempt to fix what he broke, he throws himself at his parents' feet. He'll do anything they want if they'll just give Eddie his job back. His parents agree, but they give him the worst possible condition: he has to get married, to someone of high breeding that they approve of. But he agrees anyway because Eddie getting his job back and being able to take care of Christopher is the most important thing to him.

He tells Eddie all of this (minus the part about being in love with him) and Eddie's response is "What exactly are your parents requirements for your betrothed?"

"Noble blood, titled, has land. Why?"

"Because I might know someone who fits the bill."

"Who?"

"Lord Edmundo of House Diaz, at your service."

"Wh--But you said you needed the job?"

"I've got the lineage, the title, and the land, but my father wasn't exactly the best financially, so I also inherited his debt."

"Okay, follow up question, you want to marry me?!"

"Well, I want to court you, and I can't do that if you're married to someone else."

"Alright, but if we're married you can't also be my guard."

"If we're married you won't need a guard."

Buck can't stand it anymore, so he kisses Eddie and Eddie kisses him back, of course, and Buck pulls back just long enough to tell Eddie that he's in love with him. Eddie reciprocates.

They get married. Philip and Margaret are furious because there's literally nothing they can do about it. But Buck has never been happier.

[tattooedsiren]

I posted 3,749 times in 2021

51 posts created (1%)

3698 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 72.5 posts.

I added 5,169 tags in 2021

#0 - 321 posts

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#like i can understand watching something you used to love because it's hard to give it up and you hold out hope that it'll become good again

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

was supposed to go to Sydney on Wednesday for a 6 day holiday to see Hamilton (second attempt after my 2020 trip to America was cancelled). Sydney trip was cancelled when they went into lockdown and the border closed.

so we decided to staycation at home. had a bunch of fun things planned. as of 8pm last night we are now in lockdown until at least Thursday - and if history shows us anything there is a 99% chance of it being extended.

FML

7 notes • Posted 2021-08-05 23:01:18 GMT

#4

hiatus

heading off on a mini break with the fam (luckily we are holidaying in-state since state borders are almost constantly closed ugh) so i’ll catch you next weekend. :)

9 notes • Posted 2021-07-05 01:34:42 GMT

#3

What did you think of Promising Young Woman?

I thought it was really good. It was intense and difficult to watch at times and 100% won’t be for everyone. The main character does some pretty drastic and problematic things but you totally get why she’s doing them. The ending was pretty shocking (to me anyway, both in terms of what happens and how I didn’t see it coming) and I think a lot of people will have problems with it which is completely valid. But I guess for me, it’s not that I liked the ending, but it made sense in a twisted way. (i don’t want to say too much coz spoilers lol.) So yeah, it was one of those intense movies that won’t be for everyone but I was still glad I watched it.

9 notes • Posted 2021-01-11 10:06:59 GMT

#2

hey remember when suits was literally just good mike x harvey vibes. god those were the days. I remember the pizza boy delivery au. oh my god

oh man suits fandom in the early days was amazing. everyone was super friendly. amazing fic was dropping on a regular basis. no drama or ship wars. good times.

10 notes • Posted 2021-04-21 09:10:39 GMT

#1

listen to silence (buck/eddie)

Buck was quiet. Too quiet.

The whole drive out to Texas he’d been talkative, bubbly, practically bouncing in his seat and driving Eddie and Hen to distraction. Even when they were trying to rest up Buck just kept going. Eddie couldn’t be annoyed by it though. That’s just who Buck was. And Eddie loved who Buck was.

The return trip was something entirely different. Buck was dead quiet, just sitting there silently staring out the window. A few times Eddie tried to coax conversation out of him, but Buck never took the openings offered. He didn’t press too hard – it had been a long and rough couple of days. But as they drew closer to home Eddie decided he couldn’t let this go. Something was clearly wrong, and he was going to make sure Buck knew he could talk to him about it.

So when they arrived back at the firehouse Eddie turned to Buck and said, “I’m kinda beat, would you mind dropping me off at home?”

Buck, of course, agreed without hesitation, despite the fact it would considerably add to his journey home. They climbed in his car and enjoyed another silent drive.

When they pulled up to Eddie’s house he didn’t get out of the car, instead he turned his body and full attention towards Buck and simply said, “Talk to me.”

It took a minute or so, but finally Buck did.

“You know, my whole life, I’ve had people take one look at me and think they know who I am. Evan Buckley: the dumb, straight, superficial, careless jock. And if I’m honest, I didn’t fight it. I let them think whatever they wanted. I don’t know why. Maybe because it was what my parents thought I was too so I thought, hey, if that’s what my own parents think maybe it’s actually true. Even though I knew inside that that person wasn’t me.”

Whatever Eddie had been expecting it wasn’t this. He’d never met Buck’s parents, and to be honest, the more he heard the less he wanted to meet them. Mostly because he wasn’t sure he could refrain from telling them what fucking idiots they were.

“But I’ve been noticing, for the last year or two, that when people meet me now they don’t necessarily assume those things. And you know what,” Buck started to smile, finally, the first one he’d seen in a day. “It makes me really fucking happy.”

Eddie grinned at that. How could he not?

Buck chuckled lightly. “TK thought I was hitting on him.”

Eddie’s smile instantly fell from his face.

“I wasn’t, obviously. I mean, he’s an awesome dude, but not at all my type. But it got me to thinking…”

Buck trailed off, and Eddie wondered if it was because he wasn’t yet ready to share his thoughts. And if that was the case, then Eddie wouldn’t push. Nothing pissed him off more than people who assumed they had the right to your inner thoughts whenever they wanted. So he reached out and put a hand on Buck’s forearm, hoping to offer a modicum of support. He noticed Buck’s other hand move slightly, as though he wanted to cover Eddie’s hand with his own but changed his mind at the last second. Before he realized what he was doing Eddie trailed his hand down to Buck’s exposed wrist, needing the skin on skin contact, and he wrapped his fingers around Buck’s wrist and squeezed slightly.

“You can tell me if you want. But if you’re not ready I can get out of this car right now and we can talk about it when you are.”

Buck took in a deep breath. “He was so nonchalant about it, you know. So comfortable with who he was. I might have stalked him online afterwards. There are so many pictures of him and his boyfriend with everyone from the 126. it’s just so not a big deal.”

“Nor should it be.”

“I agree. But there is a part of me I’ve always hidden from people because I was worried how it would affect my job. Which I know sounds stupid because it’s 2020 and we have Hen and there’s no reason my bisexuality should be an issue. But like I said: dumb, straight, superficial, careless jock. So I just hid it.”

“And now you don’t want to?”

Buck nodded. “I mean, there have been comments over the last year or so. And I was thinking about it on the drive, and I realized,” Buck looked at him then, for the first time since this conversation began, “that those comments have mostly been about you. Because when I’m with you, it’s like … it’s like I get to be my real self.”

Eddie swallowed thickly. He didn’t know what this was. Was it a declaration? A statement of fact just told to clear the air? Eddie knew what he wanted it to be, and he thought Buck had been so brave in telling him all this that now it was his turn.

“Did you want to come in? Chris would love to have you over for breakfast.”

A look of confusion swept over Bucks’ face. “But it’s the middle of the night, he won’t be up for hours.”

Eddie looked right at Buck, a small smile tugging at his lips when he said with great significance, “I know.”

Buck’s smile lit up his whole face. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

So they got out of the car and walked side by side down the path towards the porch, so close their shoulders were knocking together. Eddie let the back of his hand brush against Buck’s once, twice, and then on the third go Buck reached out and tangled their fingers together as they walked inside.

391 notes • Posted 2021-02-07 01:28:46 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[flowerfan2]

Group Texts Are Ridiculous (Or, Five-0 Starts a Group Text) - Chapter 4

Hi all!  Here’s Chapter 4 (of 5); then there will be an epilogue/short follow-up in the series, and possibly more.  If you’re enjoying this, could you please re-blog it?  I’m trying to figure out whether it is still worth posting fic on tumblr as it seems the large majority (almost all? 99%?) of my readers are on A03.

Many thanks, and enjoy this one (which could also be titled “Danny’s Kiss Is Magic”).

McDanno, T, A03, 7,500 words so far

Chapter 4

August 4, 2020

DW:  Ok, I just sent you what I could put together.

SM:  Thanks, I appreciate it.

DW:  Be smart about it, though.  

SM:  What’s that supposed to mean?

DW:  Have a game plan.  Think before you act.

SM:  Are you implying I’m not capable of carrying this out?

DW:  I know you, you get carried away.

 SM:  So I’m too impulsive?

 DW:  You said it, not me.

 SM:  I hardly think it’s relevant here.

 DW:  Fine, whatever.  Get yourself killed.  See if I care.

 TR:  Cough.  Group text.

 SM:  Hey, Tani.  What’s up?

 TR:  Not much.  Just minding my own business here at headquarters.  

 JG:  You guys should probably take me out of this group now.

 SM:  Any good cases?

 TR:  Pretty quiet, actually.  Except for the stomping coming from Danny’s office.  Towards mine.  I better get off the phone.

  <b>August 5, 2020</b>

 JR:  Saw the texts from yesterday.  Are we helping Steve with an op?

 DW:  “We” aren’t helping Steve with anything.  

 JR:  Okay.  But you know I’ll help out, if there’s anything you need.  

 DW:  Thanks, Junior.  Focus on the perp you’ve got in the back seat of your car for now.

 JR:  Yes sir.

 TR:  You know we’d all help.  Even Grover, I bet.

 DW:  While I appreciate the offer, what I’d really like is to get a confession in the case we’re actually working at this very moment.

 TR:  So, what, you want us to bring this guy in so you can talk to him?

 DW:  Something like that, yes.

 LG:  You’re really getting the hang of this boss thing, Danny.

 DW:  **middle finger emoji**

  <b>August 15, 2020</b>

 LG:  Is Danny with any of you guys?

 TR:  Nope.  He left RumFire before we even ordered a second round.  Seemed distracted.

 LG:  Where did he go?  He’s not answering his phone.

 TR:  I don’t know, home, I guess?

 <i>TR changed the name of the group text to</i> <b>Danny please answer your phone</b>

 LG:  Is Junior there?  Can he check?

 JR:  I’m at Tani’s.  What’s wrong?

 LG:  I got a call from Kono.  I need to find Danny.

 QL:  I can go over to Steve’s place and see if Danny’s there, I’m closest.

 LG:  Thanks, Quinn.  Go now.

 JR:  He might be at headquarters.  

 LG:  It’s past midnight on a Friday.  I doubt paperwork is that interesting.

 JR:  Sometimes he hangs out there, on the couch.

 LG:  Are you telling me he’s sleeping at the office, Junior?

 JR:  He didn’t want me to tell anyone.  I guess the house seems kind of weird without Steve.

 LG:  We’ll come back to that – for now, one of you get over to headquarters and see if Danny’s there.

 TR:  Lou, what are you not telling us?  What’s wrong with Kono?

 LG:  Kono’s fine, just find Danny.  

 TR:  Is she still hunting down sex traffickers?  Oh fuck, I bet Steve was helping her with an op.  That’s what those texts from Danny were about, sending Steve intel.

 JR:  Is Steve ok?  Does he need our help?

 LG:  Calm down, Junior.  You’re not going anywhere.

 QL:  I’m at the house.  I used the key in the hiding place when Danny didn’t answer the door right away. Eddie’s not much of a guard dog, he’s just licking me.

 LG:  He knows you.  Is Danny there?

 QL:  Hang on, I’m going upstairs.  He’s not going to jump around a corner and shoot me, is he?

 LG:  Let’s hope not.

 QL:  Okay, Danny’s here, he was just asleep.  But he’s awake now.  

 LG:  Tell him to call Kono immediately.

 QL:  He’s doing it now.

 TR:  Quinn, what is she saying?  What’s going on?

 QL:  He didn’t tell me.  Did you know Danny gets dressed crazy fast?

 QL: He’s got a go bag under his bed. Not sure they’ll let him take those guns on the plane.

 TR:  Ask him if we can help.  We can meet him at the airport.

 QL:  Too late, he’s gone.  

 TR:  Is Steve okay?

 QL:  I don’t know.  Damn.

 LG:  Sit down and breathe, Quinn.  

 QL:  I’m all right.  But shit. I’ve never seen Danny look like that.

 LG:  Like what?

 QL:  Terrified.

  <b>August 17, 2020</b>

 JR:  Ok, how long do we wait before we call in the calvary?

 JR:  *cavalry

 TR:  Backup?

 JR:  Yes.  

 TR:  We don’t even know where they are.

 JR:  Other than Danny rented a car at the airport in Seattle yesterday morning.

 TR:  How do we know that, exactly?  And why didn’t you tell me?

 JR:  You didn’t ask.  And Jerry is tracing Danny’s credit card.

 TR:  This is nuts.

 JR:  I’m gonna go to Seattle.  I’ll call Danny when I get there.  If I’m already there, he won’t tell me to stay home.

 LG:  No, but I’ll tell you, right now.  Stay where you are.

 JR:  This group text thing may have been a mistake.

 TR:  You think?

 LG:  Just listen for a minute. I heard from Kono.  No need for backup.

 TR:  Are you going to tell us more or what?  

 KK:  Guys, Steve is ok, and so is Danny.  You can relax.

 LG:  Kono, these kids are going to bite my head off if you don’t give them some details.

 KK:  First off we’re sorry we didn’t get in touch sooner – Danny wanted me to call Lou last night as soon as Steve was out of danger, but then things got a little hairy.

 QL:  But now?

 KK:  It’s all good.

 LG:  Maybe you should start from the beginning?

 KK:  Too long to text the whole thing, but you know Steve was helping me on an op.  One of the people financing a sex trafficking ring was rumored to be in the area, and we set him up.  During the take down Steve got hurt, but he’s going to be okay.

 TR:  What happened?

 KK:  He kind of jumped through a plate glass window and out of a building to get away from a bomb.  But we caught the bad guy, so he’s pretty pleased with himself.

 TR:  I see why Danny is particularly annoyed when I do that kind of thing.

 KK:  Steve got pretty banged up, and some glass got in his eye, but the doctors say he’s doing well now.  Had to have surgery last night, though, there was some internal bleeding they didn’t catch right away.

 JR:  Why isn’t Steve texting us, or Danny?

 KK:  They’re both asleep.  It was kind of a tough night for both of them.

 KK:  [Photo - SteveandDanny.jpg – 8.17.2020]

 TR:  Awww.  Danny looks so small.  Look at him tucked in there between Steve’s side and the bed railing, all snuggled up against Steve.  

 KK:  Doesn’t he look tiny?  I know people always say patients in hospital beds look small, but with Danny slotted in there right next to him, Steve looks normal sized.

 LG:  Actually he looks like he crashed through a plate glass window, but I suppose that’s normal for him.

 QL:  Steve’s holding on to Danny even in his sleep.  I’m dying here.

 JR:  Is it ok to ask if Steve’s gonna lose his eye?  That bandage looks serious.

 KK:  So far the doc says it should heal, with minimal vision loss. But it’s too soon to tell for sure. He might need another surgery.

 TR:  I’m saving this picture forever.  I can’t believe the hospital staff let Danny climb into bed with Steve.

 KK:  By the time this happened Danny really didn’t care what anyone else had to say on the subject.  

 TR:  I can imagine.

 KK:  You guys could have given me a heads’ up, you know.  Would have saved some drama yesterday.

 LG:  What do you mean?

 KK:  Danny barreled in here looking for Steve, calling himself his partner, and then there was a bit of a scuffle about what partner meant.  

 TR:  Well, they’re not exactly partner-partners.  Just work partners.

 KK:  You sure?

 TR:  They’re pretty touchy-feely, but they certainly don’t share a bed.

 JR:  Usually.  Unless I’m in the guest room when Danny’s over.

 TR:  Excuse me?

 JR:  The couch is bad for Danny’s back, and Steve refused to let me give up my room for Danny.  So they both sleep in Steve’s room.

 TR:  Were you ever going to mention this?  Or is this one of those respect for your superior officer things?

 JR:  I plead the fifth.

 KK:  Well the cat’s out of the bag now.

 JR:  I don’t think we should assume they’re together, not until they tell us.

 KK:  Okay, but after seeing the big ol’ kiss Danny planted on Steve in front of the entire ICU, I’m feeling fairly confident this isn’t platonic anymore.

 KK:  Steve’s reaction was priceless, too.  He grinned like you wouldn’t believe, brighter than the Hawaii sun, and then pulled Danny down to kiss him back.  

 LG:  Hot damn.

 TR changed the name of the group text to Danny’s Kiss Is Magic

[szivtalan]

8, 9, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 62, 64, 65, 70 (aside from Kagami 😂), 71, 72, 79, 82, 86, 87, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 for the "Asks, why not" thing please? (Omg that's soo much, I'm sorry I got carried away ^^')

8) Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Average height, bordering on short. Broad shoulders, thick arms and thighs, square face, slightly projecting ears (one pierced, one with a stretched lobe), bushy arched brows, thick square glasses, faded dark red hair, dark brown eyes, butt chin. I look pale and perpetually sleep deprived.

9) What do you/did you study?

I was in a teacher’s training program for English and Hungarian language and literature, and I’m planning to go back to school to study sociology!

16) What do you look for in a SO?

Consciously: understanding, fun, sweet, kind and accepting. Unconsciously: somewhat broken and in dire need of emotional help which I’m desperate to provide lmao.

19) Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Eh, u know, it depends? I don’t think I’m fit for a serious relationship right now, so I’d prefer casual stuff atm, but on the long run I do want a partner to share my life with.

20) What are your deal breakers?

Really obnoxious people, ignorance and bigotry I guess. And I’m not keen on someone pushing or disrespecting my boundaries, either.

21) How was your day?

It was good!! My bro, his girlfriend and my friend tagged along to get our (me and my soon-to-be sis-in-law’s) ears pierced, and then my friend and I got a loot of food. I didn’t exactly feel good enough abt myself to be comfortable outside, but I got a lot of random kindness and that was Nice.

22) Favourite food & drink

Food: teriyaki chicken and seafood pasta, drink: ginger ale and iced coffee

23) What position do you sleep in?

I sleep half-curled up on my side, but I need to toss and turn a little until I find The Best Position.

25) Your fears

The dark, needles, rabbits (I don’t even know, dude), the fact that I’ll die without having made an impact on the world, being spoken about behind my back, being a bad influence on my friends.

28) Any pets?

Not right now! I used to have two rottweilers around the house growing up, but they both passed away sadly.

29) What are your hobbies?

Writing, sketching, basketball, getting on people’s nerves, researching typology, watchin movies idk?

31) What was your last awkward situation?

Asjhdh the ticket control guy told me to “Have a safe trip” and I said “You too!”. This rarely happens to me tho

32) What is your last regret?

Not holding my friend’s hand on public transport. It was…right…there….and she already told me she’s more than comfortable with physical touch! I’m a fool! Everyone thinks I hate touching but I don’t! I’m just shy!

34) Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

Ehh. Kind of? As for believing, I believe more in ghosts, but I do see some patterns in different signs. I just try not to let it affect the way I see/interact with a person, because no one deserves to be prejudiced for whatever reason, especially not their date of birth. Tarot is just fun, and the cards r cool

35) Have any quirks?

I bite the skin on my fingers, scratch my acne, make my knees jump… most of it is just regular anxiety stuff tho so idk?? I do think I’m quirky, but there’s just too much weird stuff to list ‘em.

36) Your pet peeves

Cig/booze stink on a person, customers being rude, bigotry, interrupting other people… There’s quite some things that annoy me asjdgd

40) Last 5 things from your search history

Boku No Hero Academia, Hawks, duck emoji, Grumman fma, How To Train Your Dragon

41) What’s your device backgrounds?

My phone lockscreen rn is a beautiful KagaKuro fanart of them standing in the rain in yukatas, Kagami looming over Kuroko and shielding him from the rain and Kuroko reaching up to stroke his face; my phone background is an art of they/them pronouns tattooed on someone’s knuckles, their posture unsure; my laptop background is a screenshot from the movie Déva, of blue skies and a street lamp.

42) What do you daydream about?

…cu..cuddling,,my…crush……..

44) What's your religion/Your thought about religion

Short version: barf

Long version: I was raised catholic (even tho I was never baptized), and attended catholic school for 8 years which gave me a really warped idea of Christianity, Which made me a cynic & an agnostic or atheist by proxy. I harshly criticize the catholic church and faith but sometimes… when I do feel hopeless I get down on my knees and pray, so I guess if I let myself find my own faith I’d be a believer. But right now, I’m good just existing in my nihilistic bubble

45) Your personality type

Needy imeanwhat. In a typological sense, I’m an INFP in Myers-Briggs, 4 core 5 wing in Enneagram, melancholic or sanguine in the temperaments, et cetera. Basically I’m a sad daydreamer with unresolved issues and a need to do Art

47) Are you happy with your current life?

Nah bro. I like my friends and my workplace but I’d like to move out of home ASAP. I’d also… like to get therapy before I go and put myself out there.

48) Some things you've tried in your life

Playing the guitar, hostess work, weed, cigarettes, being blackout drunk, smoking from a hookah, cooking, football, handball, basketball, volleyball, cycling, sailing, driving, hitchhiking long distances, folk dancing, one-night stands, long-distance relationships, helping people in need…

50) Favourite colour to wear?

Olive green, midnight/navy blue, white, grey and black.

53) If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I’d… like to know how it would feel if I had a flat chest and a penis? I also want bigger Guns, and Abs, some more tattoos and maybe an eyebrow piercing.

55) Do you get complimented often?

I think so? I usually brush off compliments uhhh but yeah maybe! Maybe idk

58) Songs you're currently obsessed with?

My friend’s playlist reminded me that ‘Phenomenon’ by Thousand Foot Krutch exists. I’m also really into ‘San Francisco’ by The Mowgli’s atm and ‘Golden Time Lover’ by Sukima Switch!

59) Song you normally wouldn't admit you like.

I mean, it’s not like it’s cringe or anything, I hate cringe culture BUT. I do have Ariana Grande’s ‘Side to Side’ stuck in my head rn

64) Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing pretty badly, play a bad tune on my guitar, drum on the edge of my table, so- Nah not really asdh

65) Do you like karaoke?

YES VERY MUCH I live and die for karaoke, last time I did it in front of an audience we sung the Shaman King opening at an anime con with friends, it was Rad

70) Your fictional crush/es

AH NO FUN Kagami’s my number one,,, let’s see then: Aomine, Roy Mustang, Kise, Mikoto Suoh, Hotch & Reid from Criminal Minds, Yagami Light, Jaime Lannister and Brienne from GoT, Rustin Cohle from True Detective, Shizuo Heiwajima from Durarara!!!, why is this list full of men I didn’t think I liked men this much

71) Which fictional character is you?

Eddie Brock from Venom I mean? He’s a whole ass mess.

79) How much time do you spend on the internet?

Yike. More than I’d be proud of.

86) Would you use death note, if you had one?

No way dude. I don’t fuck with that shit, karma would fuck me right back.

87) What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I’d eliminate money and power and just make it a huge peaceful hippie community or something idk

90) What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Donate me to a medical school I don’t care. Make use of me! I’m gonna be dead, I won’t have any more feelings left to be hurt or anything asdghdsg

91) If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

I’ve had a name in mind that I tried out once, but it didn’t really work out for me after all. I’m fine with Vee and Vic rn. Anything that isn’t my given name. I do want to change my surname to my mother’s, but if I do that I also want to give myself a different first name, and since That isn’t figured out yet, I’m just?? Call me whatever dude

94) Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

Ugh, I’m bad at these. 1) I have plenty of moles. 2) My eyesight is pretty good. 3) I’ve broken some bones before.

95) Cold or hot?

Cold in beverage, hot in weather.

96) Be a hero or be a villain?

Being a villain is way too much fun, but I have too strong of a conscience to pull that off, so… hero, I guess.

97) Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Asjhdf singing is funnier and more annoying, since I Cannot Sing

98) Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Dude I’m non-binary. Shapeshifting for Sure

99) Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Aight I’ll give in – I agree to immortality Just This Once.

[artistsxcreatives]

"Love, Life, and Your 20's" by Phil

Whether you're finishing up undergrad or preparing for a long stint in med school, your 20's define the rest of your life. Freedom, fresh knowledge, and ambition have recently fallen into your young hands. Now you just need a job and someone that you can stand for longer than three months. We know that your 20's can be perilous, but we think that we have a few tips to make sure that your 30's and 40's are enjoyable ones.

Time to Explore

All of your life, you have been told what to do, where to go, and how to do it. Now is the first time in your life when you are the official captain of the ship. Don't give up the captain's chair or set sail before you are ready to go. It's a big beautiful world out there, and just because others may have some experience in familiar waters doesn't mean that they can guide you to your personal destination. Unfortunately, now that you're out of college, your life is basically back a ground zero. No matter how many accolades you had, you aren't the big shot anymore, and there are now vast amounts of people smarter, stronger, and more experienced. You may be getting someone's coffee, you may be scraping every dime you have for your start-up business, but one thing is for sure. You're the new guy you're and a long way away from your partner. Additionally, you are in that weird phase of dating where you finally might have an idea of what you want, but now the girls around you always seem to be on the barely legal side or the cougar side (and it doesn't help that you're not used to either). These are all areas that may take some time to navigate, so our best advice is to pack a hefty lunch and start getting to know the place. Here's how.

Career

Suppose you didn't already know about 25% of recent grads are unemployed. In that case, 25% are underemployed, 80% of life's most defining moments take place by about age 35. If that wasn't enough, 2/3 of your lifetime's wage growth happens during your career first ten years. So what does that mean for you? Stop looking around at others and focus on your plan for success. You will drive yourself insane comparing your life to your engineer friend who's making 90k fresh out of college. It's cliche', but life's not a sprint, and for this marathon, you need stamina. This also means that the money will come, but you have to think long and hard about what you want to do before it does. Don't settle for a miserable job or major that you know it is going to be the scourge of your existence. So you wasted four years on a major you didn't like, so what. If you found out what you really wanted to do as a result of that, then it was worth every bit of it. Now, if you waste 20 additional years in a state of delusion, then that is the real tragedy. Make mistakes, bet the house, go all in, and have no regrets. You will be surprised by what you are capable of, and this is the one time of your life when this is totally acceptable. Actually, it's encouraged.

Love

With more than half of Americans are married or are dating or living with their future partner by age 30, this might be where the romantic crap hit's the fan. You may find yourself scrolling (stalking) Facebook just to see your high school sweetheart pregnant with her second child and long-time college fling getting engaged. You're desperately trying not to be that old guy still at all the college parties, but you do want some female company, and mom's ain't cutting it. Relax.

Before you have an emotional meltdown and a mid-midlife crisis, take a breather. We feel your pain, but this is, in reality, your perfect opportunity to mingle. You probably have more money, time, freedom, and dating experience under your belt than you have ever had before. Use it! Don't squander things and force unhealthy relationships; set yourself free and find your soul mate or a few drifters (whatever floats your boat). Sometimes it's a good thing that you don't have any personal ties holding back you from exploring any new face or regions of the world. With that being said, if you are in a healthy relationship, don't be an idiot and blow it. There is something to be said about puppy love, but relationships in your 20's are far more meaningful and lasting (for the most part). You are beginning to understand why Tom Hanks needed Wilson in Cast Away because companionship is something that all people desire at any level.

These are the glory years of dating where you (hopefully) learned from all your boneheaded mistakes in college and have started looking for girls who have a lot more staying power. Let's face it; the stakes are higher. No one should be forcing you down the aisle, but if you are with someone that you know for sure isn't the one. Do each other a favor and end it before pointless years go by and someone gets really hurt. Regardless of where you are at this time of your life, you should fully embrace it. Love is a beautiful thing, and you will certainly know it when it happens (so will your wallet). Just remember that you have a long life to live and that who you decide to be with is exactly that; who YOU decide to be with, whenever that may be.

Personal Development

This may be a shocker, but your personality can change more during your 20s than at any other decade in life. The brain caps off its last major growth spurt, and you are either refining good habits or re-enforcing bad ones. The good news is that this heightened self-awareness usually leads to a desire to improve one's self inside and out. Below are a few areas that need to be on the list if you aren't already looking to improve. We know you got everything under control, and we are going to let you finish, but these are kind of the essentials of your existence now. Pay attention.

Style

Okay, guys, it's time for you to lose those ridiculous tri-colored embroidered pants and get some real clothes that reflect your age. Yes, you will see terrible dressers at every age for the rest of your life, but now you no longer have a pass. It's no longer a phase; it's no longer a statement. It's childish, and we will laugh at you. Wearing sweats your college hoodie to the bar doesn't sound particularly bad (actually, it's pretty comfortable), but in reality, it's a sign of immaturity. As a man, your style should have evolved from frat house chic to young professional. Not having one good fitting suit and blazer is simply unacceptable at this age. It doesn't matter if your job calls for it or not, there are some places flip-flops just can't take you, and that's a good thing. If you can walk into an Urban Outfitters and fit in with every tinnie bopper, that doesn't mean you're a hipster. It means that you need to donate most of your clothes to Goodwill. Take it from us you don't want to be embarrassingly underdressed to work or dating functions. You might be able to skate by with a lackluster wardrobe, but is that really how you want to paint your 20's? Ditch the Nike's and grab a pair of desert boots; you will thank me later.

Gym & Diet

No, someone didn't pull a hilariously cruel joke on you and switch all your mirrors with the ones at the carnival. You're getting fat, and sadly your not getting any slimmer. Now that you can actually afford to eat whatever you want, your metabolism is throwing you a reality check, and you can bank on the fact that there will be plenty more deposits. If you don't want to lose that amazing physique that you have had all your life, you need to fight for it. Here is where gym memberships are at an all-time high and carbs at an all-time low. Now you don't have to go all vegan on us, but if you don't start investing in yourself now, there won't be much later for your twilight years (not a movie reference). Cutting down on the sweets and poor eating habits is just something that comes along with adulthood. The faster you realize this, the easier the transition will be. We all know the women will love your sculpted abs and the confidence they bring, but this is for your own self-preservation. But if you need some extra incentive, women will love your sculpted abs and the confidence they bring (just saying).

Personal Grooming

Alright, this last one isn't something that should have started in your 20's, but it is something that becomes blatantly obvious when not taken care of during them. Guys, it's time to start caring about your hair, your beard, and yes, your pores. What's the point of having a perfect body with an unsightly beard and body odor. This may be a shock, but 80-99% of people will not see your pecs during the course of the day, but they will see your filmy teeth and Eddie Monster widow's peak. Shaving, regular showers, and timely haircuts are beyond expected now. There was a time where you could get away with not being up on all three; that time is over, fellas. Good hygiene separates us from animals (that and iPhones), so don't feel feminine for wanting to make sure your skin isn't filled with toxins or that you smell pleasantly every time someone comes near you. One last thing, clip your nails. Just do it.

Now that you are in top shape, these are milestones that you need to go on. When you 21, 25, and 30 are causes for celebration and significant birthdays in your life. They each mean higher access in life and mark your growth as a man. Other important days to step out are on New Year's and reunions; they all trigger much-needed self-reflection and evaluation of life thus far. Don't focus on what you have done wrong, but more so on the experience, you have had and the people you shared them with. Grab a drink, get to work, and enjoy your roaring 20's.

[tere706]

Love is Blind - Chpt 11

(What could be better than one chapter a day?

Two chapters in a day!

Aka: I still have no self control with posting chapters. Enjoy.

Tagging: @dark-night-sky-99, @inumorph, @liadreyar-dragneel, @lunalustrix, @thirstyforvenom

Words: ~1900)

Liz felt sleep fading away. She didn’t want to wake up. Her mouth had a funny taste in it and her eyes felt dry and scratchy. Liz burrowed herself deeper into the blankets, hoping to escape the memories of why she felt so awful. The feel of her dress blouse riding up her torso was uncomfortable. She sighed as the events from a few hours ago flooded back. With a quiet groan, Liz pushed herself into a sitting position and scrubbed at her face. The skin felt dry and scratchy from crying earlier.

Wait, she didn’t remember going to bed. Liz paused and frowned to herself, trying to remember. Ah, Eddie had been reading to her on the couch. Venom had been purring, which in retrospect had been adorable. They must have tucked her into bed before they left.

Liz managed to pull up a soft smile despite herself. She knew it was silly to feel so invested in Aaron’s life. It wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t blame herself for his decisions. But she still felt heavy guilt and sorrow like a stone in her chest.

There would be no more sleep. Liz dragged herself out of bed. She stripped off her dress clothes, carefully putting them on correctly tagged hangers and putting them up so she could send them in for cleaning. Hopefully they weren’t too messy. She opened the top right drawer of her dresser and felt the material with the pads of her fingers. Liz pulled out a pair of casual shorts made of soft, sweats material. Another of her oversized night shirts was slipped on afterwards. These were comfy clothes, meant to help her feel better.

Today would be a rest day. A day to recover her emotional balance. Her stomach made a plaintive growl suddenly, almost startling her. Ah, breakfast first. Then she could take a shower to feel like a real human again. Maybe catch up on that audiobook she’d been enjoying or go for a workout.

Liz was contemplating her options for her rest day as she walked into the living room. It came as a complete surprise when she stepped on something and stumbled, rolling her ankle and falling to the ground with a grunt.

“What the fuck?!”

“LITTLE BIRD?” Venom’s voice was sleepy and coming from the couch.

Liz got to her knees, grabbing the damn shoe she’d tripped on and throwing it at the location of Venom’s voice. “I said what the fuck?! Why is there a shoe on my floor?!”

There was a solid thump and a surprised grunt from Venom, apparently she’d hit her mark.

The couch gave a small squeak as Eddie moved, sitting up to look over at her as well probably. “Liz? What happened?”

She gritted her teeth and ran her hand in an arc as far from her body as she could until she found the other shoe. That one got thrown at Eddie’s head. “I’m dying on your shoe!” She shouted at him.

There was no satisfying thump from Eddie. Damn, she’d missed or he’d caught it.

“Hun, it was an accident. We stayed over to make sure you were okay.” Eddie’s tone was conciliatory.

“You almost killed me!” Liz shouted at him, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. She was angry and her ankle hurt. This was not what she needed.

“WE WANT TO HELP. WE ARE SORRY, LITTLE BIRD. DO NOT CRY.”

Liz pointed an accusing finger in the direction of Venom’s voice. “Don’t you ‘little bird’ me! I’m not crying! I’m pissed!”

“Whoa, calm down. It was just a shoe.” Evidently Eddie had gotten up from the couch and come around to check on her.

This was a mistake.

As soon as Eddie was within range Liz slapped his leg. “It’s not just the shoe!”

“Ow, damn it, that stings. Are you hurt? Calm down!” He added the last part when she slapped his leg again, angry tears trying to escape.

Venom “stepped” in at this point, catching Liz’s wrist and coiling tendrils around it to hold it in place so she would stop attacking Eddie.

“It’s not the stupid shoe, Eddie.” Liz stopped trying to tug her arm free from Venom. “It’s my home!”

Eddie dropped down to his knees and gently cupped her face in his hands, wiping at the few tears that had slid down her cheeks. “Liz, hun, talk to me. I don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

“This… this is my home. It’s safe.” Her throat felt raw and voice hoarse. “It stays the same. I can walk through my home with confidence. I know where everything is. I can go in the kitchen and get whatever I need without worry.”

“YOU DID NOT GET ANGRY WHEN WE KNOCKED THINGS OVER BEFORE.” Venom sounded more confused than anything else. He had curled his tendrils up her arm and across her shoulders, tightening them into a gentle hung.

Liz sighed, relaxing her face into Eddie’s cupped hands. “That was different, Ven. You were hurt. Yes, it upset me, but I was more worried about you. This… this was just stupid.” She grumbled at the end. At least the tears had stopped.

Eddie blew out a slow breath. “Okay. I think I understand. I’m sorry, Liz. I didn’t even think about it. Just wanted to take a nap.”

Her right arm was still pinned by Venom, but Liz lifted the left to gently touch Eddie’s face in return. “I want you to be here. I don’t want you to stop visiting. Just… I need you to be aware of my space. I’m sorry for freaking out. It’s just…”

“After last night, you’re feeling kinda raw. I get it, that makes it easy to lash out. I’m not mad.”

“YOU HIT US WITH EDDIE’S SHOE.” Venom sounded pouty.

Liz let out a startled laugh and pulled her face away from Eddie’s hands. “I’m sorry. Bring your head over here and I’ll give you a kiss to make it feel better.”

Venom rumbled and complied, pressing the top of his head close to her face so she could place a soft kiss on him.

“Do you forgive me?”

“WE ARE CONSIDERING IT. CHOCOLATE?”

Liz chuckled. “Yes, I have chocolate. I was trying to get to the kitchen to have breakfast.”

“FORGIVEN.”

“And we messed up that plan. Can I help to make it up to you?” Eddie asked, gently grabbing her left arm while Venom continued to hold the right. They pulled together to get her back to her feet.

“Sure, but it was just going to be cereal with milk and a fruit cup.” Liz winced slightly as she put weight on her right ankle.

“YOU ARE HURT.” Venom sounded worried again.

Liz shook her head, testing the ankle again. “I think I just rolled it. It’ll be a little sore, but I’m not really hurt.”

Eddie held onto Liz’s left arm and they both helped her to the kitchen table to sit down. “Alright, let us handle getting your breakfast. It’s the least we can do.”

“There should be an ice pack in the freezer. I can prop my ankle up and ice it. And I have ibuprofen in the bathroom medicine cabinet. Just put it back where you got it, okay?” Liz smiled faintly, lifting her eyebrows and tilting her head in Eddie’s direction.

“WE WILL MAKE SURE EDDIE DOES NOT MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN, LITTLE BIRD. WE BOTH WANT YOU SAFE AND HAPPY.”

“Yeah, what he said.”

Eddie fetched the pills and pulled together the promised breakfast. Venom was a pain until Eddie let him eat some of the chocolate from Liz’s stash.

“There is something else I wanted to talk to you about, if you’re feeling more awake.” Eddie said the words slowly, almost hesitant.

Liz leaned back in her chair, shivering a little from the ice pack on her ankle. Venom had insisted upon wrapping the rest of her leg up to the ankle to try and keep her warm. “Well, I’m certainly awake now. Go for it.”

Eddie chuckled for a moment. “It’s about last night. I hope I wasn’t being too forward in front of your coworker.”

“You mean calling yourself my boyfriend without discussing it with me first?”

“…Yeah.”

Liz grinned at the apprehensive tone. “Then relax, Eddie. The only problem I would have with it is not including Ven. Which you couldn’t. Whatever this relationship we have is… it doesn’t really need a name for me. And calling yourself my boyfriend got him to back down. Win win in my book.”

“THEN ARE WE YOUR BOYFRIEND?” Venom sounded more curious than anything else.

“Yes. You are also my boyfriend. I get to have two for the price of one. And you and Eddie are boyfriends. I guess if we lived together we’d be a ménage à trois.” She set her elbow on the table and cupped her chin in her open palm.

“WHAT IS THAT?”

“Hmmm… three people who have sex together and live together, basically.” Liz shrugged slightly.

Eddie coughed to try and hide either his choking or laughter. Or both. Liz wasn’t sure.

“BUT YOU HAVEN’T HAD SEX WITH EDDIE. AND WE DID NOT GET TO FINISH WITH YOU.” Oh, he definitely sounded petulant that time.

Liz fought to hold back her laughter, but she couldn’t stop herself from grinning. Eddie was certainly coughing and choking now. He probably hadn’t expected that from Venom either. “Well, we can discuss all of that later. Besides, we don’t live together.” Still, she could feel her face heating up as she remembered what they’d started last night.

Venom was quiet for a few moments as Eddie gasped and struggled to catch his breath. “THAT IS TRUE. YOU SHOULD REST TODAY. WE COULD TAKE YOU SWINGING TONIGHT.”

He sounded too hopeful to turn down. “Sure, Ven. That sounds nice. And it’ll keep me off my ankle.”

“Look, I’m sure you want some time to yourself today.” Eddie said quickly. “So… why don’t I bring dinner? We can talk before we go out.”

“We being me and Ven, right?”

“Uhhh… yeah, but you do realize that I’m just as aware of what’s going on when V is in control as he is when I am in control.” Eddie half asked, half stated after a moment.

Liz felt her face heating even further from embarrassment. Not only had she made a bad assumption, but Eddie had been part of what happened last night. “Oh.” Her voice squeaked and she coughed to clear her throat, lifting her chin from her palm. “Oh, well, of course I knew that.”

“…Uh huh. Well, one of the reasons V likes going out and swinging around town is because I hate heights.”

“YOU ARE SILLY. WE WOULD NEVER LET YOU GET HURT, EDDIE.” Venom scoffed.

“If you’re scared of heights we don’t have to go out, Eddie.” Liz said quietly, suddenly feeling bad for enjoying swinging around with Venom.

“No, it’s fine. V is going to do it, regardless of if you’re with us or not. I’d rather have you in our arms.” Eddie’s voice turned slightly smug.

Liz waved a hand at him. “Tease.”

“Flirt.”

“COWARDS.”

Liz blinked. “What?”

“WE COULD HAVE SEX WHILE SWINGING.”

Eddie was still spluttering, offended and embarrassed, when the pair left her apartment.

Liz kept her face buried in her hands after they left. Her face felt like it was on fire and she wasn’t sure if she was more turned on or horrified.

[aubaskin-blog]

about me!

so i found this 150 random questions thing so im gonna answer them all cool? cool. (link to original post at bottom)

1. ) What’s better, having high expectations or having low expectations? Low expectations because if you expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed. If the worst happens you'll have expected it, and if it ends up good you'll be happier (I learned that from the Ranger's Apprentice books)

2.) Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year? Junk food because I eat wayyyyy too much junk

3.) Describe your perfect man/woman. Honestly, I'll know the best when I see it. I can't just imagine a perfect person

4.) Thoughts on school dress codes? Good to a point, but can be stupid. My school has a 'no shoulders' rule which is stupid af, but I understand they want people to wear actual clothes to school

5.)Any strange phobias? Nope I'm boring

6.) At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit? A business leader. The country is not a business to be run, and he shouldn't be running it

7.) Who was your first crush? A kid named Pranav in 5th grade. He left our school but I still follow him on Instagram

8.) Who was your first best friend? Two girls named Maggie and Cara (or something like that) in 3rd grade. Cara moved and Maggie stopped being friends with me the next year, although I still see her around sometimes

9.)What is one weird thing about you? I say my hobby is reading, but 99% of the time I'm reading gay fanfiction

10.) Top 5 TV shows you like to watch? The Flash, Supergirl, Forensic Files, Voltron: Legendary Defender, and Pokemon

11.) What are your favorite boys names? Elliot and Oliver

12.) What are your favorite girls names? Ellis, Eden, Athena, unique names like those

13.) Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? Nope

14.) Do you plan on getting (more) tattoos? If so, what do you want to get as of the moment? I want some but I want them to be meaningful and all my ideas now are fleeting ideas

15.) Do you have any piercings? Do you plan on getting more? I got my ears pierced a looooong time ago but I stopped wearing earrings after my sister had to get her earlobe stitched together when her earring went through the bottom of her earlobe. I don't even want to wear earrings now

16.) Do you like hugging people? YES I'm a super touchy person and hugs are wonderful

17.) Think of ANY person on earth right now.  Who did you think of? My mom. First it was Newt Scamander before I remembered that he's fictional

18.) Do you have an iPhone? iPhone 8, yes

19.) What is the worst thing that could happen in your life right now? My phone breaks and can't get replaced for a while

20.) Do you watch anime? I used to watch it a lot more but I watch it in like, bursts of a single show over a few days and stop for a while and do it again

21.) What brings true happiness? Love and contentment

22.) What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever paid for? I honestly have no idea

23.) If you could have any job in the world and get paid millions of dollars a year for it, what would you be and why? A stay-at-home reader. I wouldn't have to do anything but read and that's what I do all the time anyways

24.) Do you want children? If so, how many? Yes, 2 or 3 depending on what my partner wants

50.) Have you ever been in a physical fight? No way

51.) When you get out of the shower, do you towel dry, blow dry, or air dry your hair? Towel dry, then air dry once I'm tired of hauling a towel around on my head

52.) When you go to the movies, what snacks and drinks do you take with you? I buy them there or don't have any at all (but I like Sprite and candy like Skittles or Sour Patch Kids)

53.) Do you like going to the beach? If so, do you like to stay dry or go in the water? If not, why? I don't really like the beach but if I'm there I'll have fun. I only go in the water if it's warm (it's usually not)

54.) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Only if I have to. Not usually though

55.) If you could have a superpower ASIDE from being invisible or being able to fly, what would you have? Being able to fill things up. Need money? Fill up my wallet/bank account. Want to stop talking to someone? Fill up their bladder. You can even fill up your phone battery :D

56.) If you were able to live for however long you wanted to (i’m talking thousands of years without aging), when would you choose to die? Whenever I decided I was done living and that there was nothing else for me on Earth

57.) What do you think happens after you die? It fades to black, like falling asleep except then your conscious disappears forever (I don't like thinking about that part, it's what makes me scared of dying)

58.) Do you believe in aliens? If we exist there has to be someone else out there

59.) Do you believe in ghosts? No but they still scare me

60.) Do you believe in spiritual things like ouija boards, tarot cards, and crystals? Do you believe they are portals for evil entities to enter the mortal world? No and I think Ouija boards are stupid but the rest are fun to just play with. I'm not spiritual at all

61.) If you could make one mythical being real, who/what would you make? Unicorns but they would be poached for their horns so I want to make sure they don't all go extinct so they can fly away in a rainbow burst to avoid hunters

62.) Do you get tan, or do you burn? Both but tan first (I think). SUNSCREEN IS VERY IMPORTANT

63.) Describe your shower routine. Shampoo, body wash, rinse out shampoo and body wash, conditioner, wait a little bit, rinse conditioner

64.) Do you enjoy school? Why or why not? Yes because of my friends, no because of homework and stress

65.) In your opinion, what is the worst way to die? Long and painfully. Short deaths sound better.

66.) Do you get carsick, sea sick, or airplane sickness? I kinda get seasick, and I used to get carsick but that's gotten better. Airplanes I just get bored

67.) What’s one memory that you wish you could live again and again? I don't think I would want to continually live a memory tbh

68.) What were some of your stuffed animal’s names from when you were a kid? I had a lavender colored stuffed dog...it was named 'Purple Doggy'

69.)Do you have any pets? Yes, one black lab named Sarah and two identical white sister cats named Tammi and Sammi

70.) Describe your daily wardrobe. Graphic t-shirt and jeans/jean shorts. Jacket or sweatshirt if its cold

71.)  Describe what your daily wardrobe would be if you were rich. Probably the same, ngl

72.)  Create a character right now.  Give them a name, age, and character description. Ellis, 19, had to quit college to support her younger brother, works at a bookstore, light brown wavy shoulder length hair and green eyes

73.)What was the last thing you bought? A fidget toy and a book called '3000 Questions About Me'. And a wonder where I came up with this idea.

74.) Have you ever bought a CD? What band was it for? My sister bought a Taylor Swift CD when she was like 8, but I only have Sims games and a movie on CD

75.) Describe your perfect ice cream sundae. Vanilla ice cream, sprinkles, a little bit of chocolate sauce, three cherries because sundae cherries are good

76.) If you could make ANYTHING happen right now with no cost, trouble, or obstacles, what would you do? Make myself have the marching band music good and memorized lol that's really getting me

77.) What are some of your favorite physical activities to do? I don't do physical activity

78.) What were some of your favorite shows as a child? Dora, Zoey 101, iCarly

79.) Describe how you would survive the zombie apocalypse.  I wouldn't

80.) What are some things you shouldn’t say at work? “Wow, my boss really sucks”

81.) If you were told that if you killed someone, you would save 100 people, would you do it? Yes but it would probably haunt me

82.) How’s the weather right now? Sunny, kind of windy, warm (I'm just looking outside)

83.) What is the background on your cell phone right now? A picture of a city I got from Google

84.) Is it better to work at a job that you love or a job that pays well? Job you love

85.) What do you have within arms reach of your bed? My phone charger, alarm clock, an IKEA cart with a bunch of random stuff, usually my glasses, anything else I leave on the window sill

86.) Have you ever been fired from a job? If so, why? Being fired would require having a job in the first place

87.) Have you ever won a trophy, prize, or medal? If so, for what? I've gotten a decent number of soccer medals from my childhood, and I got two regional and one state trophies from DI (Destination Imagination) when I was in 4th and 5th grade. I haven't gotten any actual individual awards

88.) Do you have any posters, pictures, or art hanging on your walls in your room? If so, what are they? I have a pride flag, and a galaxy calendar from last year just for the pictures. No art though

89.) Are you afraid of the dark? If so, why? Not really, but I don't like running up the stairs at night when the house is dark. I get scared of what could be behind me

90.)What is something that you’ve never done but would like to try? Skydiving, lots of stuff with my friends, nothing in particular

91.) If you could choose three famous people or characters to be friends with, who would you choose and why? Hermione Granger-she's a genius and sassy af, Newt Scamander- his hair is the best omg I love him and his actor (Eddie Redmayne :))) ), and John Laurens (from Hamilton)- he deserved better. So much better.

92.) Do you smile at strangers when you pass by them on the street? Sometimes, but it can get creepy fast

93.) Do you have a favorite TV commercial? If so, what is it? I probably do, but I can't think of one in particular

94.) Do you like your handwriting? When it looks good, yes

95.) Cable TV or Netflix? Netflix, but I tend to watch cable more

96.) What are your favorite smells? Vanilla, black cherry and s'mores

97.) Do you consider yourself physically strong? Lol no way

98.) Describe a time where you said something really rude or mean, whether intentional or not. I can't think of a particular time but a good portion of the time if I say something mean I mean it and they deserve it.

99.) Do you ask strangers to pet their dogs? Of course, it's very rude other wise. If this is about petting dogs, you bet your ass I'm petting a dog if I can.

100.)What is your most embarrassing moment? I can't think of anything in particular but I've misspoken more times than I can ever count or remember. Those don't always end the best.

101.) Has anyone really close to you ever died? If so, who was it and how did you handle it? No, the closest was my grandpa but weren't close. I didn't really care...which sounds horrible but I've become desensitized to this stuff

102.)  Describe your plan of action if you were home alone and you heard someone break into your house. Grab my phone and keys and run outside, drive my car up the street and call 911. If I can't get my keys, hide behind a neighbor's house and call 911 from there

103.) If you were to be born again, would you want to be born male or female? Male because being a female kinda sucks. Plus it'd be cool to experience both sides of the equation

104.)  What shampoo do you use? Kirkland. Conditioner too

105.) Guess the meaning of this word: ulotrichous. Atrocious because that's how it sounds (both meanings)

106.) Do you let messages (phone, email, text, social media, etc…) build up, or do you have to look at them right away? Text and email notifications especially make me anxious, I have to look at them, even just so the number goes away. I don't get many texts in the first place though

107.)  Where is the nearest McDonalds to your house? Super close, I've walked there before. (Google maps says 1.1 miles)

108.)  If you had $1 billion and you had to spend it in exactly one week, what would you spend it on? A big house, cars, and as much stuff as I could think of. The rest goes into a bank account. Actually, all of it goes into a bank account

109.) What is the best thing you’ve ever eaten? Those store-bought sugar cookies. There's probably something else but I'm blanking. I've had good sushi before though.

110.) If you could go on a trip around the world with up to three people, who would you bring (they can be people you know personally or famous people). My friend Connor, one celebrity he wants and one I want. Maybe John Mulaney? He's super funny.

111.) What expletive/ explicit phrase do you say most often? Probably hell. The other two main ones make it in a lot too though

112.) What is your personal definition of success? Being happy with where you are in life or your job or whatever, not needing to be further than you are

113.) How was your day today? It's been pretty okay, actually. Nothing tragic has happened yet lol

114.) What is the closest Big City you live by? I'm gonna go BIG city because privacy so of the main four (LA, NYC, Houston, Orlando) in the USA, New York City

115.) Have you ever been in a car accident? No but I hit my mom's car backing out of the driveway and scratched off some paint and dented my car a bit (whoops)

116.) Do you hide anything from your parents? Everything on my phone. Everything.

117.) If you could possess one talent, what would you be able to do? Is having a good memory a talent? Because I want a really good memory. And art abilities.

118.) Ugly and smart or beautiful and stupid? Ugly and smart lol

119.) What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in real life? When we took a trip to South Carolina there was a massive, 3 inch long spider whose web was next to the front door. I cried.

120.) Use only 3 words to describe how you want your future to go. Happy, rich-ish, comfortable

121.) QUICK! give me a few things a brick could be useful for! Throwing at somebody's head and killing them (wtf me)

122.) If you could make a dream society, describe it in great detail where it would be, who would be in it, and what rules there would be? No discrimination, no crime, everyone happy and nice

123.) If you could make any animal miniature, what would you make and why? A dog because my dog is looking at me right now like she wants a miniature her

124.) What are your favorite candle scents? I don’t use candles, my mom hates open flames. I have burned some vanilla tea candled though

125.) If you HAD to have one plastic surgery, what would you get and why? The bridge of my nose, I'm self-conscious about it because it's lower than it should be as a result of many, many years of glasses. I usually wear contacts now though.

126.) Do you prefer to hang out with the same sex or the opposite sex? I mostly hang out with my same sex friends for long periods and my opposite sex friends for shorter periods. I would have to say opposite ex friends because I'm closer to them.

127.) If you could make a charity, what would the profits go towards? How would you raise money for it? The money would go towards lgbt+ kids and supporting them, especially if they don't get support from their parents or can't tell them. I would raise money through online advertising on sites like Tumblr and Instagram because they tend to have higher lgbt+ populations. Also through popular Youtuber donations if possible.

128.) Describe the body you wish you had. Skinnier, a better smile, less facial hair, blue or green eyes.

129.) If you were a famous director, what would your next movie be about? Describe the plot, characters, and possible title. Something soulmates and m/m. A romance movie, but they're meant to be together because of something (tattoos, colors, etc). They meet and both like each other, but it's only when they realize they're soulmates they confess and fall in love and it's the happy, fluffy masterpiece all Tumblr kids wish existed. (Call Me By Your Name got pretty far though)

130.) If only women were to rule the world, how different would the world be by 2050? More equality, male supremacy protests, everything would probably be better tbh.

131.) What is your favorite alcoholic drink? I'm 16

132.) Do you have a problematic friend? YES and she's not my friend anymore

133.) Are you more spontaneous or more of a planner? Both at the worst moments. I'll plan out my day (which won't work out) and be spontaneous when it comes to tests: "Crap I forgot about that I'll study the bell before" which sometimes actually manages to work.

134.) If you could change your full name, what would your name be? Something with more meaning and better initials

135.) What is one song that describes your life? The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars (there are probably better ones but eh)

136.) What is one show you’ve been meaning to watch but can never find the time for? I've been halfway through Pokemon: XY for over a month

137.) Do you find it easy to drop toxic people from your life that you’ve known for a long time? It depends. If I see them a lot, no. Once I stop seeing someone irl it's too easy for me to drop someone. If they do something really bad and all my friends feel that way then it's super easy

138.) Do you like children? Why or why not? In general yes but I don't want to be around them 24/7 (aka why I like being home alone without my three younger siblings)

139.) What is your zodiac sign? Taurus

140.) Do you like to dance? Do you dance often? In front of other people? No I suck at dancing, but I do rock out to music

141.) Name some of your favorite colors. Grey, black, purple, blue

142.) Have you ever shoplifted? If so, what was it? I've thought about it but no, I haven't

143.) If you could speak three additional languages, what would they be? Spanish, French and some random language I can surprise people with. Like Dutch or something.

144.) Have you ever been in legal trouble? Nope! I'm an innocent child

145.) Have you ever had surgery? No and I hope I never have to

146.) If you could change 2 things about yourself, what would you change and why? My smile and my motivation levels. Smile bc it looks terrible and motivation because I actually need to get stuff done sometimes. And mental health.

147.) What do you want done with your body after you die? Cremation, I guess. I don't want to become a firework or anything

148.) What three physical features do people compliment you most on? What do they say about them? I don't really get compliments; my mom likes my hair though. It's wavy after I shower

149.) If you could have your own business, what would you do? Make things for lazy people that people are surprised that they needed (but actually do need)

150.) What current friend do you have that you’ve known the longest? My friend Amanda, since the start of 6th grade. We're going on 5 years now!

yay now you should try these the original post is here and feel free to ask me any other questions bc i like talking to internet strangers :)

[arplis]

Arplis - News: The 50 Best Alt-Rock Love Song

s Not all love songs are romantic. Not all love songs are even happy. It all depends on your definition of the term. For every “My Girl” or “Your Song,” there’s at least one track with a nuanced take on the darker, more complicated sides of love — the drama of a long-term relationship, the fear of losing a partner, the void left in love’s wake. Many of those songs fall under the admittedly broad umbrella of “alt-rock.” So to mark Valentine’s Day, we decided to gather 50 of our favorite “love songs” in the genre — both conventional and otherwise. Throughout this list, you’ll find lines about blooming romance and marital bliss. You’ll also find nods to drug addiction and car crashes. There’s something for everyone. – Ryan Reed   50. that dog. – “I’m Gonna See You”   You take the good, you take the bad. You settle in for the longest haul, one that’s meant to end whenever one partner or the other passes away. Sunny, glossy and droll, “I’m Gonna See You” fairly tingles the spine; there’s an underlying optimism about marriage and domestic life here that’s leavened by level-headedness and firm realism. that dog. set the controls firmly to mid-tempo, as placid frontwoman Anna Waronker serenades an unknown subject who might as well murmur every verse and chorus right back at her: “I’m gonna see you in the morning / I’m gonna see you when you’re uptight / I’m gonna see you when you’re boring / I’m gonna see you every night.” – Raymond Cummings     49. PJ Harvey (featuring Thom Yorke) – “This Mess We’re In”   PJ Harvey didn’t need Radiohead’s enigmatic frontman to sell this bleakly beautiful 2000 duet. But it’s chilling — and slightly dislocating — to hear these worlds collide, resulting in a hall-of-fame-caliber swirl of romantic misery. “I’d long been interested in the idea of somebody else singing a whole song on a record of mine, to have a very different dimension brought in by somebody else’s voice,” Harvey told the Los Angeles Times. “It adds so much dynamic within the record to have this other character coming in.” And while it’s still hilarious to hear Yorke, master of the abstract, sing lines this nakedly sensual (“I dream of making love to you now, baby”), he inhabits that character with ease, his falsetto offering a ghostly counterpoint to Harvey’s measured spoken word. – Ryan Reed   48. Yellowcard – “Ocean Avenue”   There’s love, sure, but “Ocean Avenue” is also an anthem of youth, recklessness and pop-punk. Something about the chugging riffs, infectious chorus and cliche lyrics made it an instant classic destined to soundtrack every Emo Nite. The highlight is, of course, the sentiment that’s as predictable as everything else: “If I could find you now things would get better / We could leave this town and run forever.” Just like Boys Like Girls’ later pop-punk gem “The Great Escape,” “Ocean Avenue” is built on one of rock’s most reliably romantic images: running away with a vague lover from a dreary hometown into life’s endless possibilities. – Danielle Chelosky   Credit: Capitol   47. Future Islands – “Walking Through That Door”   This is Future Islands in the key of “I Want to Break Free.” Of all the underdog anthems the synth-pop trio churn out, this gem — from 2010’s overlooked In Evening Air — is their most pure. The beauty lies in Gerrit Welmers’ quivering keys, which sound like they landed on Earth from a ’50s sci-fi flick. They spiral higher and faster, as singer Samuel T. Herring absolves us of the shadows we cling to; all the lonely nights that “fall oh-so-slow.” “I want to be the one to help you find those dreams,” Herring sings, eerily calm, like a mountaintop shaman who’s become enlightened in the rugged terrain. “Walking Through That Door” has a mystical vibe that takes whatever’s in your heart and makes you believe in it harder. – Sarah Grant     46. Liz Phair – “Supernova”   Liz Phair is in devotion mode, packing more similes into one rock love song than an entire book of Shakespeare sonnets. “Your eyelashes sparkle like gilded grass,” she sings, “and your lips are sweet and slippery like a cherub’s bare, wet ass.” That’s just the first verse. “Supernova” was Phair’s rollicking first single from Whip-Smart, the follow-up to her murky masterpiece Exile in Guyville. With its trampolining guitars and Phair’s heart wide open, it signaled a whole new Liz dimension — her romantic period — where we could pour out our hearts with fists held high, shouting “and you fuck like a volcano, and you’re everything to me.” A declaration that would only occur to an ineffably cool 27-year-old in 1994. – S.G.   Credit: Matador / Atlantic   45.��The Stranglers – “Golden Brown”   The stately, baroque-pop jangle of “Golden Brown” diverged from the English band’s core sound: prototypical pub-punkers stumbling into the electronics section of the local music store. The Stranglers slowly matured into the New Wave outfit of their pinnacle — but, in this case, take a deviant direction. A harpsichord plays the central melody as a luminous phased synth corresponds: dropping and rising in octaves, overall creating an enthralling quasi-waltz (with periodic bars in 7/8 time). It’s a ballad to his beatific (and lyrically ambiguous) “golden brown,” a finer temptress arranged in a seamless weaving of verse into bridge into the chorus — all executed in a timbre echoing John Lennon. Such a gorgeous song from a band with such a contrary name. – Logan Blake     44. Nine Inch Nails – “The Perfect Drug”   The doomed romance of Trent Reznor’s lyrics can often make love sound like a desperate chemical dependency — or make actual drug addiction sound like an irresistible seduction. “The Perfect Drug,” written for David Lynch’s 1997 film, Lost Highway, muddies the waters even more than usual, particularly with Mark Romanek’s absinthe-themed video. Reznor has performed the song live sparingly and reportedly admitted in 2005 that it “probably wouldn’t be in the top hundred” of the tracks he’s written. Still, it’s hard not to get caught up in the adrenaline rush of one of the fastest, most drum’n’bass-influenced songs in the Nine Inch Nails catalog. – Al Shipley   Credit: Nothing   43. Pulp – “Something Changed”   “Something Changed” is a prayer for those of us whose love language is canceling plans. Over rolling guitars and heavenly synths, Jarvis Cocker sings about the precious, random decisions that we make every day, having no idea of what’s at stake. “I could have stayed at home and gone to bed … you might have changed your mind and seen your friend.” In a Melody Maker interview, Cocker said that the song’s retrospective lyrics came from trying to remember why he wrote this song in the first place back in 1984 — years before releasing it as a single in 1996. Twenty-five years later, amid the doldrums of quarantine, “Something Changed” is like a redemption song for those of us who took the outside world for granted. As Jarve wisely said: “The worst thing about having a schedule and a timetable is that there’s less chance for unexpected things to happen.” – S.G.   Credit: Island   42. Buzzcocks – “Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve)”   If the answer to the question posed in the song title is “no,” check your pulse. You’re not alive. Or perhaps you’re extremely lucky. Just wait — as Robert Plant once sang, “Your Time Is Gonna Come.” The gist of the lyrics: “You spurn my natural emotions / You make me feel like dirt and I’m hurt” is as plainspoken as the song itself, written in 1978 by Buzzcocks’ Pete Shelley. Flaunting a perfect, dysfunctional lyrical kicker (“And if I start a commotion / I run the risk of losing you, and that’s worse”), “Ever Fallen in Love” becomes a hooky package of pop-punk energy and precise, pithy lyrics. This “pansexual punk anthem” (as one critic coined it) was the Buzzcocks’ biggest hit, and very rightly so. – Katherine Turman   Credit: United Artists   41. Morphine – “In Spite of Me”   Boston trio Morphine was known for the low, sonorous sounds of Mark Sandman’s two-string slide bass and Dana Colley’s baritone sax. But Sandman would occasionally throw in a spare acoustic track like “In Spite of Me,” the side one closer to their 1993 magnum opus, Cure For Pain, featuring beautifully fluttering mandolin by Jimmy Ryan. “In Spite of Me” is a bittersweet paean to someone who left the narrator behind long ago, but Sandman’s half-whispered vocal radiates with the fond memories of a shared history: “Last night I told a stranger all about you / They smiled patiently with disbelief.” – A.S.     40. The Breeders – “Do You Love Me Now”   “Does love ever end?” That’s the central question of “Do You Love Me Now,” Kim and Kelly Deal’s meditation on the often open-ended nature of past romance. Just when you think you’re finally over a relationship and have completely moved on, those familiar feelings slowly sidle back up to you like Josephine Wiggs’ slinking bass line. Pretty soon you might find yourself reaching for your phone, scrolling through photos and wondering what your old flame is doing right about now. If that happens, don’t worry — it’s perfectly natural. Here’s a helpful piece of advice from your friends at SPIN: Don’t text your ex. – John Paul Bullock     39. Pearl Jam – “Last Kiss”   By 1998, Pearl Jam had left radio behind. Sure, “Given to Fly” was a hit and Yield ended up one of their best albums, but the mainstream was mostly in the rearview mirror until this throwaway cover. During a Seattle show that May, Eddie Vedder told the crowd that he found an old single for $.99 the previous day and stayed up listening to it all night. Then the band debuted their take on “Last Kiss,” the Wayne Cochran ballad popularized by J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers in 1964. The song is so breezy and catchy, many fans are still oblivious to the sad lyrics, which chronicle a car accident that kills the narrator’s girlfriend (“Oh where, oh where can my baby be? / The Lord took her away from me”). Pearl Jam recorded a version during soundcheck before a Maryland gig, releasing it for Ten Club members. But that recording spread like wildfire and eventually peaked at No. 2 on the Billboard 200. Strangely, this left-field cover wound up the biggest hit of Pearl Jam’s career. – Daniel Kohn Credit: Epic   38. Bloc Party – “Blue Light”   “I still feel you in the taste of cigarettes,” sings Kele Okereke over divine splatters of guitar reverb and the heartbeat click-clack of a snare rim and kick drum. Bits of this person — seemingly a former lover — linger in the minute sensory details of everyday life. Reminders are everywhere: “You’ll find it hiding in shadows / You’ll find it hiding in cupboards.” The emotional centerpiece of Bloc Party’s debut LP, 2005’s Silent Alarm, “Blue Light” conjures the feeling of being fully adrift in sadness — you’ve become so accustomed to melancholy, it’s now your home. Just as Okereke croons about a mysterious “gentlest feeling,” the song ironically becomes un-gentle, guitars and drums spiraling upward into a sonic and emotional crescendo. – R.R.     37. Lifehouse – “Hanging By a Moment”   Lots of love songs have a spiritual component: Peter Gabriel was inspired to write “In Your Eyes” — perhaps the greatest slice of pop romance ever written, but not really “alt-rock” enough for this list — to reflect that common ambiguity in African music. With Lifehouse’s “Hanging By a Moment,” frontman Jason Wade landed at a similar duality. “I knew at the end of it that it was a love song, and I kind of come from that world, so it can be interpreted as a spiritual song or a love song,” he told Billboard in 2017. “I feel like people have just been taking it for whatever they want it to be through the years.” Both interpretations hold water: The narrator is “starving for truth,” perhaps in a religious sense. But on the chorus, they’re “standing here until you make me move” — an image that, coincidentally, calls to mind the “In Your Eyes” boombox scene from Say Anything. Either way, it’s a tearjerker. – R.R.   Credit: DreamWorks   36. Alabama Shakes – “Gimme All Your Love”   Lyrically, this one’s as cut and dried as it comes: Brittany Howard, the powerhouse singer of Alabama Shakes, wants the full relationship experience — no emotional shortcuts. “So much is going on / But you can always come around,” she sings gently, her voice somewhat muffled amid the glitchy drums and gleaming keys. “Why don’t you sit with me for just a little while? / Tell me, what’s wrong.” Then on the chorus, she sounds enraptured in contrast, screaming the titular phrase between some “woo”s that sound like a soulful Ric Flair. Is complete commitment so much to ask? – R.R.     35. A Flock of Seagulls – “Space Age Love Song”   New Wave music, particularly synthpop, tended to be lyrically cold, detached and unsentimental — more concerned with pessimism than romance. But “Space Age Love Song,” A Flock of Seagulls’ 1982 hit, is one of those unique exceptions. Amid Mike Score’s wistful singing and atmospheric synths and Paul Reynolds’ soaring guitar, the lyrics are direct and tender rather than aloof, accompanied by its recognizable melodic refrain: “I was falling in love.” In a 2018 PopMatters interview, Score said the song was about intimacy: “When you meet somebody there is an instant eye contact if the chemistry is right. If everything is right, you catch their eye…that whole ‘across the crowded room/caught your eye’ thing. The lyrics explain that: ‘I saw your eyes and you made me smile.'” Sci-fi and love never sounded so good together. – David Chiu   Credit: Jive   34. The Pretenders – “Talk of the Town”   “I had in mind this kid who used to stand outside the soundchecks on our first tour, and I never spoke to him,” Chrissie Hynde once recalled, detailing this Beatles-y New Wave anthem from 1980. “And I remember the last time I saw him, I just left him standing in the snow. I never had anything to say to him. And I kinda wrote this for him.” That backstory adds more intrigue to her already-fascinating lyrics, which seem to channel youthful longing for a person outside one’s grasp. “I watch you still from a distance then go / Back to my room,” she quivers over the bright guitar changes. “You never know I want you.” – R.R.     33. Incubus – “Dig”   Few alt-rock frontmen have embraced heartthrob status more naturally than Incubus singer Brandon Boyd, who helped transform the California nü-metal band into multi-platinum crossover stars with his washboard abs and a propensity to flirtatiously ad-lib the word “girl” like an R&B singer. But there’s always been a philosophical bent to Boyd’s most romantic songs, and “Dig,” as he explained in the band bio for 2006’s Light Grenades, “speaks to the importance of forgiveness and compassion.” But the song’s headier lyrics don’t get in the way of the lighter-waving catharsis of Boyd belting out, “We’ll always have each other when everything else is gone.” - A.S.     32. Beach House – “Lazuli”   If “Harvest Moon” had an alien twin from Baltimore, it might sound something like “Lazuli” — Beach House’s most romantic song, which highlights their 2012 album, Bloom. Alex Scally begins with a loping arpeggio and spray of synth as the story unfurls. “In the blue of this life, where it ends in the night / When you couldn’t see, you would come for me,” Victoria Legrand bellows, sounding warm, wise and oddly reminiscent of Nat King Cole. The lyrics float in and out of abstraction, like twisting a kaleidoscope. The synths form little ripples around her voice. In this vein, “Lazuli,” feels like an ode to communing with nature; a testament to every tiny particle that we can’t see. Who knows? Being in a perpetual state of wonder is the Beach House way, and it’s the true magic of this song. As Legrand reminds us in her dreamy warble, “you can’t be replaced.” – S.G.     31. Weezer – “Perfect Situation”   From the dramatic intro — which this Fearless-era Taylor Swift song oddly resembles — it’s clear what this one is about. Then again, it’s usually what Weezer songs are about: desperation, longing, love gone wrong. “Perfect Situation,” though, is less lyrically specific than many of the band’s tracks — they keep the words simple and carefully chosen here, with Rivers Cuomo just enunciating “Singing oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh” on the chorus. The instruments do most of the talking, and the most Cuomo reveals is on the kind-of-hot lines: “Get your hands off the girl / Can’t you see that she belongs to me?” – Danielle Chelosky     30. The Temper Trap – “Sweet Disposition”   First off, who gives a fuck that the echoing guitar sounds like the Edge’s best unused riff? And so what if the song itself is still a go-to for dumb TV ads and rom-coms? It’s easy to poke fun at this Australian quartet because they unashamedly swing for a grand slam with almost every at-bat, but “Sweet Disposition” is the kind of heart-tugging big-chorus rock song only the most jaded among us can brush aside. Part of it’s the expressive delivery of frontman Dougy Mandagi, who wrangles maximum earnestness from each falsetto swoop and hint of vibrato. And the words are perfectly bare and unpretentious. “Just stay there / ‘Cause I’ll be coming over,” he sings. “While our blood’s still young / It’s so young, it runs / Won’t stop ’til it’s over.” – R.R.   Credit: TIME   29. Band of Horses – “No One’s Gonna Love You”   Few “love songs” open with the image of a mutilated body part: “It’s looking like a limb torn off / Or altogether just taken apart,” Ben Bridwell yelps over rippling electric guitars. “No One’s Gonna Love You” feels romantic — the atmospheric arrangement, the pained way Bridwell sings throughout. And certain lyrics, like the titular phrase, sound deceptively sweet. But this one’s complicated: The narrator seems to be still helplessly in love (“And anything to make you smile”), even with the relationship “tumbling” through an “endless fall.” Play this one for your “first dance” wedding song and scan the crowd for puzzled faces. – R.R.   Credit: Sub Pop   28. The White Stripes – “I Just Don’t Know What to Do With Myself”   Can we trust a love-lost song from a man who pretended his one-time wife was his sister? Why is said sister-wife, Meg White, crying on the cover of 2003’s Elephant? And why is Kate Moss pole-dancing in the video? No matter the answer to these rhetorical questions, ”I Just Don’t Know What to Do With Myself” is a great song, and as sung by Jack White, the definitive version. (It was written by Burt Bacharach and lyricist Hal David — and previously, most notably covered by Dusty Springfield, Dionne Warwick and Issac Hayes, who drew it out to seven minutes.) White’s spare, angsty voice and guitar reflects the song’s desperate, edgy feeling of painful limbo as two are wrenched into one lonely leftover. The tune was written in 1962, but it’s still timeless — and especially gut-wrenching when White delivers it with all the (hurt) feels. – K.T.   Credit: XL   27. My Morning Jacket – “Steam Engine”   Jim James digs deeper than superficial attraction on this dreamy, seven-minute ballad from It Still Moves. “So I do believe / None of this is physical / At least not to me,” he sings, his voice bathed in barn reverb. He is human, admitting later on, “Your skin looks good in moonlight.” But like the band’s slow-building sway, his definition of love is still admirably cosmic. “It’s about falling in love with someone because of the way they make you feel, as opposed to them wearing tight jeans and being hot,” he told Nude as the News in 2003. “I’m just trying to escape from the fuckin’ constant, physically driven fashion show that the world has become.” – R.R.     26. R.E.M. – “At My Most Beautiful”   Gently affectionate, direct and indelible, the standout third single from R.E.M.’s first post-Bill Berry LP revels in romantic mundanity. A sigh calibrated to elicit endless sighs, “At My Most Beautiful” adopts orchestral-era Beach Boys as its guiding muse, with guitar, piano, organ and cello forming a warm, pastel whorl. The sincere tenderness in Michael Stipe’s vocal scribbles extra feelings between the lines of his actual lyrics, which adore but stop short of the saccharine. “You always say your name,” he purrs, “Like I wouldn’t know it’s you, at your most beautiful.” – R.C.   Credit: Warner Bros.   25. Siouxsie & the Banshees – “The Last Beat of My Heart”   Siouxsie Sioux sings nature metaphors (“In the sharp gust of love, my memory stirred / When time wreathed a rose, a garland of shame”) over a slow-climbing swell of accordion and muted tom-tom thump. A perfect marriage of words and atmosphere, each drawing out romance from the other. “It’s one of my favorite Siouxsie and the Banshees songs, and [DeVotchKa] covered it very well,” the Decemberists’ Colin Meloy told Pitchfork in 2006.”It kind of bums me out that they got to that cover before I did. Very smart choice.” – R.R.   Credit: Wonderland / Polydor   24. Blink-182 – “All the Small Things”   For Valentine’s Day 2000, there had to be at least one guy in a Hurley T-shirt and Dickies who wrote this in a card to his high school girlfriend, thinking it was so sick: “Keep your lips still, I’ll be your thrill, the night will go on, my little windmill.” Blink’s biggest hit has its goofy, sappy moments: “She left me roses by the stairs, surprises let me know she cares.” But there’s some uncertainty there too: Tom DeLonge knows this girl will be at his show, watching and waiting, but also…commiserating. Did she feel pity for him? Maybe we shouldn’t think too much about “All The Small Things,” considering DeLonge wrote it specifically to be played on the radio, with all those Ramones-y “na-na-na’s” filled in so he wouldn’t need to write more lyrics. – Bobby Olivier   Credit: MCA   23. Arcade Fire – “Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)”   Here’s something I’ve never understood: So…Win Butler is singing about digging a tunnel between his and his lover’s homes — underground romance, adorable — but then he wails, “You climb out of the chimney and meet me in the middle, the middle of the town.” Why dig the fucking tunnel when she’s just gonna use the chimney to meet up? And another thing! When he sings, “Then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow” — couldn’t they have sought shelter in the tunnel during inclement weather? Listen, I know it’s the band’s debut single and revered as one of the greatest indie-rock songs of the last 20 years, blah blah. It’s a sweeping, bouncy tune, sure, but I need answers, damn it! – B.O.     22. Smashing Pumpkins – “Luna”   In the liner notes of the 2011 Siamese Dream reissue, Billy Corgan writes that this blissful dream-pop ballad chronicles his love for “someone [who] doesn’t love me.” He doesn’t directly specify this person, but he did famously date Courtney Love, who once claimed that almost all of the album was written about her. We’re not going to draw any conclusions. “I sing a love song in an empty room,” Corgan continued, detailing how he wrote the tune. “It is for the moon. It can never be for the one you love.” Regardless, “love song for the moon” just sounds cooler. – R.R.     21. Mazzy Star – “Fade Into You”   During the mid-’90s alt boom, a bunch of bands on the peripheral had their moments of mainstream success. Mazzy Star’s biggest song, the moody and melodic “Fade Into You,” blends dream-pop and alt-country twang, led by Hope Sandoval’s luscious vocals. The singer’s lyrics, a touchstone of peak Gen X, seem to document a relationship with a narcissistic person who can’t be reached. And that dichotomy between romantic longing and melancholy is what makes “Fade Into You” so relatable. – D.K.   Credit: Capitol   20. The Cardigans – “Lovefool”   You likely know the hook by heart from incessant radio airplay. Released in the mid-’90s, it’s one of those songs that summons its zeitgeist, and it’s since remained one of the most timeless (and bittersweet) pop-rock palliatives. Lead singer Nina Persson both coquettishly and wistfully begs for her love to be requited. It’s all voluptuous rouge lips and batting cat eyes, soft around the edges with sharp guitar chops and velvety synth concords. It’s the marriage of a cold, haphazard lament in a catchy pop structure with a New Wave undercurrent all held together in kitschy saturation. Nothing comes closer to the platonic ideal of pop. – L.B.   Credit: Stockholm   19. Jeff Buckley – “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over”   “Maybe I’m too young to keep good love from going wrong,” Jeff Buckley sings with understated drama on the first verse of “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over,” before patiently building to a climactic falsetto showcase. Buckley wrote the smoldering, seven-minute ballad after the end of his relationship with musician Rebecca Moore, and he opens the epic version on his only proper studio album, 1994’s Grace, with a gorgeous harmonium instrumental that sounds like an otherworldly funeral organ. It became the most widely covered song Buckley wrote in his brief career, but nobody can possibly sing it like him. – A.S.     18. Elliott Smith – “Say Yes”   Smith clears his throat and begins the acoustic-strummed ballad to a girl who made his world a vicarious idyll, the one “who’s still around the morning after.” An electric guitar glitters the track with sprightly, jazzy chords, letting out a melodic melancholy solo and syncing with Smith’s sotto voce singing as he sulks over their month-ago breakup. Now he longs for her to come back, optimistically musing that maybe he’d be “an exception to the rule.” Smith once told SPIN he penned the offhandedly beautiful song in five minutes while watching a muted episode of Xena: Warrior Princess. Whether a moving palliative for others mourning a love lost too soon or a heartrending tale of post-breakup realism, it utterly impales you. – L.B.     17. Roxy Music – “Avalon”   Across eight albums in 10 years, Roxy Music evolved from an avant-garde glam-rock band to a sophisticated pop group. Avalon, the group’s swan song, was their most commercially successful record and indelibly romantic. Along with “More Than This,” the album’s title song — with its tropical and reggae-like rhythms — has become one of Roxy’s most popular songs.  Its lyrics evoke the magic of love at first sight: “When you bossa nova, there’s no holding / But you have me dancing, out of nowhere.” Ferry’s debonair crooning is seductive and sincere, complemented by backing vocalist Yanick Étienne. The “Avalon” video is equally elegant, with a white tuxedo-clad Ferry dancing with his paramour. Almost 40 years later, this song — like the whole Avalon album — remains one of the definitive Valentine’s Day soundtracks. – David Chiu   Credit: EG / Polydor   16. Tegan and Sara – “Nineteen”   Some of the best rock tunes swim simultaneously in streams of “love song” and “breakup song,” welling up your eyes until everything blurs. “Nineteen,” a devastating anthem from Tegan and Sara’s fifth LP, The Con, is one such moment — entangling sex, heartbreak, romance and butterflies-in-your-gut angst into a compact, three-minute blast. It opens with a jarring admission: “I felt you in my legs before I even met you / And when I laid beside you for the first time, I told you / I feel you in my heart.” We don’t get all the details, but the relationship quickly sours, resulting in a bummed-out plane trip home — but also glimmers of hope. “I was 19,” the duo sing over the distorted downstroke riffs. “Call me.” – R.R.     15. Paramore – “Still Into You”   A power-pop ode to everlasting love, “Still Into You” should surge in popularity around 2063 by soundtracking all those scene kids’ 50th wedding anniversary parties. In terms of Paramore lore (Para-lore?), “Still Into You” introduced the band’s departure from pure pop-punk — more charm, less angst. Written about Hayley Williams’ then-solid relationship with New Found Glory guitarist Chad Gilbert, it offers some great lines about making love work: “It’s not a walk in the park to love each other / But when our fingers interlock, can’t deny, can’t deny, you’re worth it.” And it’s such a sweet sentiment, reminding your S.O. that after all their bullshit and the stupid Netflix shows they make you watch, you’re still into them. Unfortunately for Williams, “still” didn’t mean forever — she and Gilbert split in 2017. – B.O.   Credit: Fueled By Ramen 14. Stone Temple Pilots – “Interstate Love Song”   Only Stone Temple Pilots could write a “love song” that explores lying about heroin use. In his 2011 memoir, Not Dead & Not For Sale, Scott Weiland said he wrote “Interstate Love Song” partly from the perspective of his girlfriend: “She’d ask how I was doing, and I’d lie, say I was doing fine. Chances are I had just fixed before calling her. I imagined what was going through her mind…” But there’s poetry in these dark images, as Weiland taps into relationship matters of trust and deception. The music only amplifies the song’s windows-down grandeur, from Weiland’s booming vocals to Dean DeLeo’s signature, twangy guitar riff. It remains STP’s finest hour. – D.K. and R.R.   Credit: Atlantic 13. Patti Smith Group – “Because the Night”   A highlight from her 1978 LP, Easter, “Because the Night” has become the punk poet laureate’s most well-known track — and also one of the most recognizable love songs of all time. After modest piano notes form a calm before the storm, Patti Smith bursts into her signature mode of elated, operatic singing — roleplaying the besotted lover in this impassioned hit co-written by Bruce Springsteen. Although the vocal delivery propels the song beyond itself, the lyrics detail the wanton desire just before the flight of the erotic at sundown “…because the night belongs to lovers.” Unlike most other subtler love songs, this is an unabashed entreaty. No more foreplay. On second thought, it’d be more apt to call it a “lust song.” – L.B.   Credit: Arista   12. Coldplay – “Yellow”   Who would have thought that a poor Neil Young imitation would spark Coldplay’s breakthrough hit? That’s what happened with their signature tune, “Yellow,” which focuses on an emotional devotion to…someone or something. Singer Chris Martin found the initial chords and lyrics during a live soundcheck, and he immediately started channeling the Godfather of Grunge with the lyric “look at the stars.” Then came the title word, which gives the song a slight element of mystery: “The word ‘yellow’ came out, and I was like, ‘No one’s gonna know what that means,’” he told Howard Stern in 2011. “It was a feeling more than a meaning.” But that feeling led to an entire career. – D.K. and R.R.   Credit: Parlophone 11. Say Anything – “Alive With the Glory of Love”   You can’t leave out “Alive” from any conversation about essential emo love songs. What opening lines are more gripping than “When I watch you, want to do you, right where you’re standing, yeah”? Then the chorus is irresistibly endearing and seemingly sincere: “No, I won’t let them take you / Won’t let them take you / Hell no, no!” Even if you start out listening as a joke, you gradually fall into its surprisingly romantic arms. But the song reveals a deeper meaning as it plays: The line “Should they catch us and dispatch us those separate work camps, yeah,” reminds us that “Love” is based on the story of Max Bemis’ grandparents, who are Holocaust survivors. So yeah…there’s a lot to unpack. – Danielle Chelosky   Credit: J Records / Red Ink 10. Radiohead – “All I Need”   “I’m an animal trapped in your hot car,” Thom Yorke croons during this divine meditation on romantic fixation. Aw, how sweet! Radiohead never write conventional love songs — but when they do explore the subject, few do so with such intensity. “All I Need” spends most of its run time at a low simmer, Yorke spitting out similar images (“I am a moth who just wants to share your light”) over Phil Selway’s trip-hop-y drum groove and a booming synth-bass. But the song’s climax, lyrically and musically, crashes in at full volume: “It’s all wrong!” Yorke yelps. “It’s all right!” – R.R.     9. Talking Heads – “This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)”   David Byrne famously wrote a lot of songs about “buildings and food,” so his first real “love song” doesn’t, um, sound a lot like the others. “I try to write about small things: paper, animals, a house,” he noted in the Stop Making Sense bonus interview. “Love is kinda big. I have written a love song, though. In this film, I sing it to a lamp.” That song is “This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody),” on which Byrne embraces romantic matters with surreal wordplay and, seemingly, confusion. “I guess I must be having fun,” he sings over the clanging percussion and woozy synths. But few songwriters tackle love with such zen, understanding that relationships are living organisms. “The less we say about it the better,” he yelps. “Make it up as we go along.” – R.R.   Credit: Sire 8. The Cure – “Friday I’m in Love”   Robert Smith doesn’t exactly do warm and fuzzy in his lyrics, and that’s exactly why “Friday I’m in Love” is one of the Cure’s signature hits. The song’s peppy, melodic jangle perfectly matches Smith’s innocent words about falling in love — he told this very publication that it’s a “dumb pop song” and “very optimistic and really out there in happy land.” Discounting Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, the song also captures the wide-eyed joy of that Friday feeling, with the possibilities of the weekend ahead. “Friday I’m in Love” ended up being the Cure’s last Top 40 hit — what a way to go off the charts swinging. – D.K.   Credit: Fiction 7. Joy Division – “Love Will Tear Us Apart”   The intro is a tease, seemingly previewing a forgettable song. Then it debouches into one of the most iconic, nostalgic riffs ever architected, launching an ‘80s anthem from year zero of that halcyon decade. Weirdly, it’s the most identifiable (yet least representative) of an eerie discography mostly inaccessible to casual listeners — and not only instrumentally. The post-punk dignitaries conjured a dark sound around themes of mental illness and hopelessness. And they didn’t totally sacrifice that dark aura in “Love Will Tear Us Apart” — it just underwent aesthetic osmosis. They saw the thorns of the rose, where the rest saw only the bud. – L.B.   Credit: Factory   6. Tears for Fears – “Head Over Heels”   Before their breakthrough LP, Songs From the Big Chair, Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith weren’t known for love — let alone happy — songs. Their debut, 1983’s The Hurting, was an emotionally turbulent record inspired by the work of American psychologist Arthur Janov. The mood lightened up somewhat on Songs From the Big Chair, especially with the majestic “Head Over Heels,” distinguished for its relatively upbeat lyrics and ecstatic Beatles-like “la-la-la-la-la” chorus towards the end. Adding to the romantic atmosphere is a humorous music video that depicts Orzabal trying to catch the eye of a bookish librarian. “Head Over Heels” is probably the closest we’ll ever get to a love song,” Orzabal remarked for the 2014 Big Chair reissue. “It’s a love song that kind of goes a bit perverse at the end.” – David Chiu   Credit: Mercury 5. Oasis – “Wonderwall”   The Gallagher brothers tug at our heartstrings with their signature hit “Wonderwall” — even as we question what they’re actually singing about. Most fans can belt all the words, starting with the opening lines: “Today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you / By now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do / I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.” But we don’t hear that mysterious titular word until the fourth stanza. So what exactly is a wonderwall? In 1996, Noel Gallagher reportedly told NME he wrote the song for his then-girlfriend, Meg Matthews. Six years later he switched gears, telling the BBC, “The meaning of that song was taken away from me by the media who jumped on it, and how do you tell your Mrs. it’s not about her once she’s read it is?” Sooooo… “It’s a song about an imaginary friend who’s gonna come and save you from yourself,” he explained. Your wonderwall can be whatever you want it to mean, for whomever you love. Just hope the recipient understands your word choice. – Jason Stahl   Credit: Creation   4. Foo Fighters – “Everlong”   That initial rush of romantic ecstasy never lasts as long as we want it to. The strongest relationships persist in spite of this. On 1997’s “Everlong,” Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl can’t live in the magic moment. The future hasn’t even happened yet, and already, it’s haunting him: “And I wonder / When I sing along with you / If everything could ever feel this real forever / If anything could ever be this real again?” By the time of The Colour and the Shape, he was rocking with a band instead of accompanying himself in studio pastiche — and “Everlong” reflects that energy, a ballad-qua-anthem where the sting of recent divorce is flipped into innocent, emotional longing. – R.C.   Credit: Roswell / Capitol   3. The Flaming Lips – “Do You Realize??”   “Whenever I analyze the scientific realities of what it means to be living here on Earth — in this galaxy … spinning around the sun … flying through space — a terror shock seizes me!!!” Wayne Coyne once wrote of the Flaming Lips’ symphonic-sized staple. “I’m reminded once again of how precarious our whole existence is…” Existential dread is an…unusual…starting point for a “love song.” And you might argue that “Do You Realize??”, the centerpiece from 2002’s Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, falls outside even the vast umbrella of our list. The harsh realization here, after all, is that “everyone you know some day will die.” But there’s hope in that epiphany! As Coyne tells us, every glimpse of death is a reminder to live: “Instead of saying all of your goodbyes,” he sings over Steven Drozd’s cartoonishly massive arrangement, “Let them know you realize that life goes fast / It’s hard to make the good things last.” Really, “Do You Realize??” is a love song to the entire universe. – R.R.   Credit: Warner 2. The Smiths – “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out”   The Smiths’ “angry young man” anthem perfectly captures the confusion and drama of teenage lust: Johnny Marr’s timeless, jangling guitar has given rise to countless solemn YouTube covers. Morrissey’s hyper-literate lyrics were influenced by Karel Reisz’s 1960 film, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, written by Alan Sillitoe, whose short story “The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner” inspired everyone from Iron Maiden to Belle & Sebastian. “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out” makes an excellent choice for any road trip playlist — just watch out for those double-decker buses. – J.P.B.   Credit: Rough Trade / Virgin 1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – “Maps”   “Wait, they don’t love you like I love you” is such a perfect line, especially from one fawned-over musician to another — in this case, Karen O to Liars frontman and then-boyfriend Angus Andrew. Bittersweet desperation runs throughout the beloved track, as Karen O tries to play it cool, keeping her voice to a measured warble, even though she’s essentially begging her partner to return her affection. “My kind’s your kind,” she sings, another heartrending dagger-like “Dude, I see you! See me, too!” Almost 20 years later, this song resonates even more thanks to numerous covers and interpolations, most notably Beyonce using the hook for her Lemonade cut “Hold Up” in 2016. If Beyonce samples you, you’re doing something right. – B.O.   Credit: Polydor   Listen to all of the songs below:   #Oasis #TheFlamingLips #TheBreeders #TheCardigans #Weezer

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/the-50-best-alt-rock-love-song

[toosicktoocare]

I'm like 99% sure the Losers Club just freaks out if Bill Denbrough gets sick. Like the one with usually some semblance of a plan, their de facto leader, is out for the count. WHAT DO THEY DO??? (Also Bill gets very emotional if he has a fever. He'll do his best to hide the flu because he has a thing about staying home sick now - Georgie - but eventually he'll just be too tired and he'll be sitting there in someone's hoodie or jacket crying quietly and everyone's like ????)

The 102.2 degree reading blinking back at Bill has his lips pressing into a firm line, corners creeping down into the beginning of a frown as his eyes dart toward his unmade bed. 

It’s been over three years since he stayed in sick while Georgie… 

No. He shakes his head and places the glass thermometer into a desk drawer, keeping it hidden from his parents’ prying eyes. He’ll go to school; he can manage- he has to manage. Otherwise, something could happen to one of his friends in his absence. 

He spares a glance toward his wall clock, noting with a brief flick of panic that he’s only got a few minutes to get ready. A deep breath in results in crackling lungs and a barking cough, but he pushes through it, coughing into his fist as he makes his way to his dresser to quickly toss some clothes on for school. 

*****

Richie’s long legs make navigating around students easy. He’s quick and able to slide past groups as he darts toward his first class that he’s lucky enough to share with some of his friends. 

His eyes are wide, panicked, as he whips into the classroom, making a beeline toward Stan and Eddie’s desks as he sucks in a deep breath. 

“Richie, what-” 

“Bill’s sick!” Richie starts, slamming both hands down on Eddie’s desk. “Like, really sick! He looked like fucking death at his locker. Imagine if sick were a person, all pale and shaky and coughing every two seconds, and you’ve got Bill!” 

Stan turns in his desk to fully face Richie with a deep frown, worry coating his vision as he takes in every of Richie’s slurred, frantic words, and Eddie shoots a quick glance toward the doorway before dragging a slow, heavy gaze back toward Richie. 

“Define ‘really sick.’ Are we talking freshman year sinus infection sick or sophomore year hospitalized pneumonia sick-”

A harsh cough echoing from the doorway closes Eddie’s question, and all three grow tense as they slowly turn toward the painful sound. 

“See for yourself,” Richie whispers into Eddie’s ear as Bill staggers toward them. 

“Hey, Bill,” Stan starts, keeping his voice cool despite the concern biting at the edges. “Are you feeling alright?” 

Bill shrugs with a slight sniffle as he slides into his seat beside Stan. “J-just a cold,” he croaks out, wincing faintly at the gravelly heat that coats the back of his throat with each word. 

Before Stan can press further, their history teacher walks in with a sharp “shut up,” prompting the class to fall silent. 

While everyone else flips in their history books to the correct page for today’s lesson, Eddie scribbles frantically on a corner of a loose paper before reaching over to slip the note on Richie’s desk. 

Richie scans the note, rolling his eyes at the words. 

“That is not a fucking cold. It’s the fucking plague.”

Richie moves his pencil over the small slip of paper before passing it back to Eddie, who reads the short response with a sharp frown. 

“Don’t be a dick.”

*****

“Why is PE a thing?” Richie asks as he dribbles a basketball in the corner of the gym with Eddie. “What if I don’t want to be physically active? I feel like this is hindering my artistic gift! I could be a painter! Or a musician! I’m not an athlete!”

“Would you shut the fuck up?” Eddie spits out as his fingers crumple around the note Stan gave him right before class. “Bill’s worse,” he adds, concern creeping through his hushed voice. 

“Shit,” Richie breathes out as he drags his gaze toward the gym’s exit that leads back into the hallway. “They’re in study hall, right? Think we can sneak out?” 

Eddie glances toward their gym teacher before pulling a slow gaze toward the rhythmic dribbling of the basketball Richie has. “I’ve got an idea.” 

*****

“What the hell happened to you?” Stan asks along a harsh whisper as he takes in the ice pack Richie has pressed to his nose. 

“Had to get out of PE somehow,” Richie mutters with a shrug as Eddie waves a dismissive hand. 

“It’s not broken. I didn’t put a lot of force behind the basketball.” 

Stan’s pupils blow out as he shakes his head. “Why didn’t you just fake sick?” 

“We’ve done it too many times,” Richie says as Eddie bypasses Stan to get to Bill, who’s seated at a small table in the back of the library. 

As Eddie can see, Bill’s sporting Stan’s hoodie, and he’s got his face buried in his arms resting atop the table. For a moment, Eddie thinks that Bill is sleeping, but a closer look shows the slight, occasional jerk of Bill’s shoulders. 

“Shit,” Eddie mutters under his breath as he takes the seat beside Bill while Stan and Richie take the two remaining seats. 

“Bill,” Eddie coos softly, placing a gentle hand to Bill’s back. “Can you look up for me?” 

Bill’s slow to obey, but he does, and Eddie can’t keep the sharp gasp squeezing past his lips as he takes in Bill’s flushed, tear-stricken cheeks surrounded by a ghostly complexion. 

“Fucking hell, Bill,” Richie spits out as Eddie slides a palm across Bill’s forehead. 

“Christ,” Eddie mutters as he pulls his hand back. “You’re burning up, Bill. You shouldn’t be here.” It’s as if Eddie’s words strike the wrong chord for the second his lips move around the last syllable, Bill’s hunching in on himself, hands hugging his elbows as tears spill from his eyes. 

“Bill!” 

“Way to go, Eddie. You made him fucking cry.” 

“Shut up!” 

“Both of you shut up,” Stan spits out as he places a hand to Bill’s shoulder. “Bill, what’s wrong? Are you feeling that bad?” 

“It’s…. I c-can’t… I have t-to stay in school.” 

“Why?” Eddie questions with a slight tilt of his head. “You’re really sick, Bill. You’ve probably got that flu going around.” 

“S-something might h-happen,” Bill rasps out around a strangled cry. “L-last time. G-Georgie…” 

“Oh, hell, Bill,” Richie mutters as he slides out of his chair and moves behind Bill to drape over the crying boy in a smothering hug. “You can take a sick day. Nothing’s going to happen to us.” 

“You’re going to catch this,” Eddie keeps his voice quiet as he locks eyes with Richie. 

“We’ll all get it probably,” Richie replies dismissively as he tightens his arms around Bill’s trembling form. 

“Would it help if we go home with you?” Stan asks, and Bill shoots a blurry gaze toward Stan. 

“Y-you guys w-would?” 

“Fuck yeah we would,” Richie says, stepping over to the side to catch Bill’s eyes. “We’ve got you, Bill.” 

Bill lets out a shaky breath that darts across a cough as he pulls a slow gaze toward Eddie. Their eyes meet for an endless moment before Eddie gets to his feet with a soft sigh. 

“Someone has to take care of you.” He says, clapping a hand to Bill’s shoulder. 

Bill blinks through clinging tears as he coughs into his fist. 

“T-thanks, guys.” 

[oohlook-thevoid]

My dream Batman trilogy coz The Batman trailer got me thinking.

Also putting everything under the cut because a) it’s probably gonna be kinda long and b) it’s overwhelmingly self-indulgent introduction of batkids with a side of plot

Movie 1

The world has progressed past the need for another origin movie so we're jumping in with an Under the Red Hood adaptation

As well as obviously including Bruce and Jason, Dick is there as Nightwing, Babs is Oracle and Tim is Robin

Usual Red Hood I'd on the scene taking over the criminal underground and gangs stuff

We're going with the Talia yeeted Jason into the pit storyline here and at some point Bruce visits Talia after the whole initial suspicions of Red Hood being Jason thing and as well as getting info there's definitely strong references to them last meeting 10yrs ago

And obviously Jason didn't die 10yrs ago, they parted ways and Talia tried to help as a means of bridging the gap between them again (which obviously didn't work)

Whilst Bruce is away current batkids deal with Jason 'I've been fucking replaced' drama as Red Hood goes after Robin

Bruce comes back afterwards we get into the final Batman-Joker-Red Hood showdown

Then idk something happens - I don't think Jason or Bruce should actually kill Joker in this but I do want that pasty bitch to die because I don't want to fucking deal with him in a later movie

So anyways idk something happens, the GCPD shows up post a (sort of) resolution being met between Bruce and Jason then Joker tries to pull some shit and idk man maybe like Commissioner Gordon just fucking shoots him because man is tired and it's what Joker deserves

Also speaking of Gordon I'm 99% sure I've consumed DC content with Jim knowing the batfam identities and I support that dynamic so that's also a thing here

Anyway end of the movie, Jason is back not actively trying to kill his family members, Joker is dead as he deserves

Then POST CREDIT SCENE! We're back with Talia and oh look a child. Yes, of course it's Damian and Talia has decided it's finally time for him to meet his father whoo!

Movie 2

Okay this is a little while later - only change is Damian is now Robin and Tim is Red Robin

So Joker is dead and Red Hood is no longer a crime lord controlling all the gangs as per the last movie - there's now a massive power vacuum in the criminal circles of Gotham and, as such, there's a big old power struggle going on

Anyway there are factions and someone is orchestrating a grab for power using various others

Within such others are Cluemaster/Arthur Brown and David Cain... Yes you know where this is going

A new cape is on scene going by the name Spoiler, she's leaving clues to plans and schemes which lead to Cluemaster's arrest and generally disrupt the main plan of whoever is orchestrating it in the background

That batfam catch up with Spoiler and end up working with her

Searching for more information of the grand plan (because who actually trusts Cluemaster with everything? Steph only has bits and pieces of the big stuff) they come across a girl. And yes it is Cass.

Anyway fight scene showing off how awesome Cass but it ends quick as she sees they’re defending themselves more than trying to hurt her

Congrats Bruce, it’s a girl!

So anyway detective stuff, detective stuff then WHAM there’s the big plan it’s coming to fruition and they’ve all gotta stop it. 

Obviously they go, there’s a cool fight with them all working together and they win.

I don’t actually know who’s orchestrating this all - part of me wants to say it’s Riddler because I love Eddie and, I mean, in the animated Hush adaptation we have seen his ability to manipulate others to carry out his own plan plus considering the War of Jokes and Riddles happened the idea of Eddie kinda taking Joker’s place as ‘top rogue’ after the pasty bitch goes to hell seems quite satisfying to me

Regardless, everything seems good, the batfam has won and grown and everything seems good

Then (possibly as a post-credit?) everything goes dark. There’s the sound of fighting but the audience sees nothing. Light returns. There’s a couple restrained Talons now visible. But there’s also someone not visible. Batman is gone.

Movie 3

We start with a montage - Gotham is once more in chaos, this time though its because of the lack of a Bat

The batkids are grieving, they're struggling to cope with both the chaos of Gotham criminals generally and the emergence of the Court of Owls

There's also more internal conflict with Time being adamant that Bruce is alive and the others being more realistic which leads to Tim bailing on them a la Red Robin (2009)

Anyway, Alfred sees his grandkids going through shit and is determined to not let them meet the same fate as his son so he starts the We Are Robin inititative - people who are fighting back against the crime and corruption of Gotham and, in turn, thereby helping assist the batfam so they can focus on the Court

This stuff is more expository than being the actual plot of the movie and is ran through fairly quickly, probably montage style, so we can catch up with the main whatever of the movie.

So, two individuals who joined We Are Robin go like above and beyond I suppose, gaining the batfam’s attention and becoming vigilantes themselves - these are Duke Thomas (of course) and Harper Row (because I want to include her)

Since Gotham always need a Batman but also they need to focus efforts of the Court of Owls, the kids devise a rota. They rotate between Dick as Batman w/ Damian as Robin (because duh), Jason as Batman w/ Steph as Robin (because I think that would be neat) and then Cass as Batman w/ Harper and Duke as her Robins (because a) I love her dynamice with each of them individually and b) she deserves to be Batman)

On days they aren’t Batman and Robin-ing they work, led by Oracle, to trace down the HQ of the Court of Owls - any field work being carried out in their usual aliases 

Meanwhile Tim, all on his lonesome because boy has issues, is also working against the Court and trying them (the diff being his motivation is more get Bruce, prove he’s alive whilst the others are more influenced by the stop evil owl bitches sentiment)

Anyway Tim finds the Court and good news: Bruce is alive, just captured but bad news: Tim is also captured because whilst he’s good he’s not beat a ton of Talons alone good and the idiot should have got backup

Shortly after this the others get a breakthrough and find the Court - they also discover that Tim has been caught by them. So them we cue final fight - they come up with a great plan and then they sneak in and take down the Court, Tim and Bruce and back 

The End. They all finally get a well-deserved holiday.

[wickedpaths]

hide & seek 

( eddie & richie, at the tozier house. private. )

@boyfound

eddie

It was hard to describe, the feeling building up in his stomach slowly, forcefully, as he biked down the familiar streets towards Richie's house. Nothing had changed, really - Derry was quiet and eerie, laid out in the first subtle signs of dawn, and yet, everything was different. Nervousness, definitely, but not the kind that made him freak out and get scared and irrational (though fear was definitely a part of this too --- Richie was his best friend, and of course he didn't want all of this to come between their friendship), but for the most part, he was just... speechless. He had no idea what he was going to say, thoughts in his mind thick and hard to decipher, just random words and images piling on top of each other until he was completely unable to hold even one coherent thought except: He likes me too. He likes me too. He.. likes me too?

It seemed almost too good to be true, and a small, cruel fraction of his mind still insisted that this was all a sick joke, a prank, and he would find all the others at Richie's house, laughing, making fun of him. But it was Richie, after all, and since they had sworn to never lie to each other in first grade -- well, Eddie had kept his side of the promise, and he had no reason to believe that Richie didn't, either. 

So when his bike was leaning in its regular place against the Tozier garage, his feelings were still a turmoil, but at least he was 99% sure that they would be fine. Maybe even better than fine.   Shaking hand knocks on the door, and it's unlocked, as always, so he just barges in. 

"Hey. Hey, uh, I'm here. Listen, I ---", the words almost came spluttering out, excitement and nervousness finally getting the best of him. "You know I would have never.. If i hadn't slipped up, I -- I don't want you to think you have to -- " He interrupts himself, shuts his mouth forcefully. Don't fuck it up by being your usual annoying self. Just... don't.

richie

just come over. I'm done having this conversation.// I'll probably eat my entire inhaler.. ok ok I'm coming. fucking hell // it won't be that bad, jesus christ.

Richie spent the last half hour scrolling and scrolling through their conversation. Trying to make sense of things, trying to figure out  what the fuck just happened.  This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real... His the middle left arm was tinted chrimson, the amount of times he pinched himself, wanting to know if he was actually caught in some cruel dream. He was going to wake up any minute now, any minute, just wait for it. Wait, a pause, stifled breathing escaped his pursed lips. 

His back slumped into the cushions of his couch. His mind wavering. Thinking back to the day Eddie snuck out to see him. The way he felt seeing him that night, could've easily been labeled as anything but FRIENDLY. Just best friends, that was all they were right? He couldn't say that he hadn't thought about it before, the two of them together as something more, did he want the two of them to be somethingmore? He laughed it off, every minute of it. Trying to convince him they were just best friends. That the he feelings he felt were just because they had been together for most of their lives. After all, this is how friends felt towards each other, right? Best friends, that's all we'll ever be. This is fucking stupid, he's just fucking with me.

He sprung up from the cushions, the door sound of the door being forced open and there he was. The moment he saw him standing there, he could feel his stomach churning, his heart about ready to escape his chest. And he was right, this isn't how best friends should feel. Clammy palms reached down to wipe against the sides of his shorts. "Just shut the fuck up, no. I don't  —-  feel like I have to do any of this I.." he trailed off, eyes wandering to the floor. How the fuck did Eddie Kaspbrak of all people make him feel this way?

eddie

It really was something else, to see even Richie at a loss for words. For a moment, they were just standing there, in the middle of the living room, like they had turned into pillars of salt --- the air was made of honey, almost impossible to breathe ( or maybe that was just him ), he could feel that he'd started sweating profusely, hands knitted into fists as if he was a coil spring or a loaded grenade. His heart was pounding loud enough to be heard down the entire road, he was sure. 

One more second of silence and he would've probably lost his damn mind. 

"I - I don't know.. what to do." He admitted, voice glazed with - anxiety? probably - and he threw his hands up in a nondescriptive, half-desperate gesture. "I didn't want it to be like.. this." Arms still flapping about as if to include the whole room in the 'this'. "You know how many times I've thought about how I'd tell you? And I've had, like, a million scenarios perfectly planned out and now it's all.. different." If overthinking was an olympic discipline, he'd be the one to snatch the medal every year, without doubt. For nights and nights on end he had imagined what it would be like, grand romantic gestures and elaborate plots of their happily ever after, filled with Disney-esque scenery and dialogue and, well, the whole schtick. 

Reality was something else, he realized, and with a sigh, his shoulders fell, as if he had exhaled all the stress in one long breath.(edited)

richie

Second thoughts, a rush of anxiety. In an instant, all he could feel was guilt. Why the fuck did I think this was a good idea? Why Richie began to pace, back and forth for a moment before pausing in front of Eddie. His arms threw themselves upwards in quiet, inaudible desperation."How the fuck do you think I feel? You think I was expecting for any of THIS to happen in the first place?" he retorted, his eyebrows furrowed. He was beginning to feel frustrated, helpless. "You know I'm not even sure what to say or do I  —- when does this fucking happen? Me not knowing what to say." he was rambling now, stumbling over each word he spoke.  "I've never struggled with not knowing what to say, shit shit SHIT." 

He was pacing again, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. He was waiting for this moment to happen between the two of them. He went over the things he wanted to say in his head, piece by piece and as soon as Eddie stepped into the room, his thoughts disappeared. Everything forgotten in a instant. "I didn't know what I fucking expected when I told you to come over. I just knew I had to see you and  —-  shit."

eddie

The pacing started, and Eddie immediately felt his heart sink. Oh, shit. This wasn't good. Expression changed from simply confused and maybe overwhelmed to something else - frustrated? He understood where he was coming from, the situation as much scary as it was simply unknown, and he didn't know how to react. 

But if there was one thing he knew, it was that he, under no circumstances, wanted Richie to regret this -- not after they both had finally come clean about this.. thing. Whatever it was, they couldn't take it back anymore, and now it was standing between them, looming over their heads like a thunderstorm in summer, dangerous and dark and... scary. I don't want to lose my best friend.

Maybe it's reflexes, maybe it's some weird elaborate thought that made sense to his overwhelmed mind right now ( if there's something between you, you just gotta get to him. You just gotta... get to him ), but without as much of a sign of warning he crosses the distance between them, arms wrapping around Richie to stop him from pacing, just.. stop, stop pacing, you're freaking me out, we're gonna be fine. And that's what he mumbles into the curve of his neck, as familiar a place as his own bed or the back of his hand or the inside of his fannypack as they hug. 

"We're gonna be okay."

richie

We're going to be okay.  Those five words were enough to bring immediate comfort, the corners of his lips tugging upwards into delicate smile. Arms laced around Eddie's small frame, his heart rapidly beating in his chest. He wanted this moment to last forever, Richie didn't know how much he actually needed this, how much he actually wanted this."I'm sorry   —- fuck I just, I didn't know if this whole thing was some -- sick joke, I just.." a moments pause before a sigh escaped his lips, "I'm sorry, Eddie—- we're going to be okay." We're okay, he's okay. I'm okay. 

But only he was more than okay, he was happy. for once he felt safe, and even better —- he felt like he was... at home.(edited)

eddie

It was like immediate relief -- arms around Richie, feeling the other relax into the embrace, and he knew those words weren't just fiction. We're going to be okay. As long as they had each other... hell, they'd been through enough to know that as long as they had each other's backs, not even he devil could keep them apart. It was strangely reassuring to know that he hadn't been the only one with doubts -- too strange, too foreign seemed the idea of liking someone so forbidden in a world that made sure, every single day, that people knew how wrong it was. But how could this be wrong? 

"It's okay. I wasn't sure if it was real, either." Suddenly, all the awkwardness and anxiety was gone, faded to nithingness with the last remnants of his insecurity about all of this. "We can make this work, right? Somehow." The unspoken question hung in the air like a guillotine. Can we make this work in a town that did nothing but teach us that girls loved boys and boys loved girls and everything else was sin? -- no-one could know. Ever. Not if they wanted to survive in this hellhole.

richie

Could they just stay here forever, in each other’s embrace, act like the world and everything else in it didn’t exist... Being here with Eddie made him feel like all of his problems disappeared that nothing else really mattered.  “Thanks, for this —- for being here... with me.” 

I wasn’t sure if it was real either. It still didn’t feel real. Richie felt completely paralyzed, his body couldn’t move away from Eddie’s, arms still wrapped tightly around his best friend. He was afraid that as soon as he let go, he would wake up. Finding himself laying in his bed, staring at the open, empty ceiling above him. He was still convinced none of this was real but he didn’t want to think too heavily about everything the way he already was. “Fuck I — I think we can make this work —- I mean that is if you want to, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t .” There he was, rambling on again. His own insecurities were eating him away, he was afraid. No he wasn’t just afraid, he was terrified. He wasn’t used to this, feeling wanted or appreciated the way he was feeling now.

“Hey Eddie?”

eddie

"I wasn't even sure if I'd make it, you know?", he mumbled into Richie's neck, still tightly held by him, and it felt like the safest he had been in.. well. Maybe his entire life, but definitely in the last year. They didn't do this often enough, he realized, just hugging each other. Why didn't they do it more often? It felt like whatever was tearing him apart inside, just... stilled for a second, and the world stood still, and nothing was wrong for a moment.  "To your house, I mean. At one point I was so ready to just turn around. I was afraid that it was just.. you know. Not real." He didn't want to keep thinking about that dreaded feeling, instead focused on the relief und excitement of what was happening ( could be happening. will be happening. this is happening. f u c k ). 

What a question that was - if that's what you want to?. He almost couldn't help the soft chuckle, finally retreating a few inches to hold Richie at half an arms length, staring straight into his eyes. "Listen. I've wanted this for.. uh. Way too long. Let's put it like that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm ... in. I'm in. For the long run." Saying it out loud finally made it feel real for the first time, and he was smiling by now, bright as god knows what, heart almost exploding from how uncontainable his happiness suddenly was.

"Yeah?"

richie

He felt a strong sense of security, a sigh of reliefescaped his lips."I'm glad you didn't.. I wasn't so sure any of it was real either. I thought it was all —-  bullshit." he spluttered, and it was true. if he decided not to show, they wouldn't be where they were right now, in each other's arms. It was something they never did often even as best friends, after all these years. They spent most of their time bickering than to ever really sit down and appreciate each other. That was until after the events with IT, their friendship had changed and honestly, the pair was closer than they ever had been. 

Eyes locked into his as they pulled apart. I've wanted this for.. uh. Way too long. His smile beaming as his eyes drifted to the floor. He felt true happiness, something he hadn't felt in a long time, GENIUNE happiness. A sense of trust settled in his mind. He actually wanted to be with him, all this time. And here he was, worrying that the feelings shared between the pair were onesided. Richie assumed Eddie had only figured out just recently what his feelings were while he had been contemplating what the feelings he felt about their 'friendship' truly meant. It confused him, even sometimes brought him feelings of anxiety and constant paranoia. 'What if he found out how I felt, why the fuck do I feel this way about him? We're just best friends there's nothing else to it...' 

"Fuck I —- really do like you... like like you."

eddie

For the first time in a while, he realized how much he'd missed this - being close, genuine, just... themselves. Richie's smile was probably his favorite in the world, and to know he was the reason for it? God, he felt like he was close to exploding with affection. Of course he enjoyed their constant banter a lot, too, even though Richie had a way with words that could sometimes drive him crazy - but if you asked Eddie, that was just part of his charm. He knew not many people could stand it, but he liked Richie just the way he was - edges and flaws and all. Best friends, and maybe... well. Definitely more, too. 

Hearing him say it out loud made it all feel so overwhelming real for a second -- it was as if his breath suddenly got stuck in his throat, lips dry and palms sticky, the whole weight of what was happening crashing down on him at once. It was both the most terrifying and exhilarating notion in the world, and for a moment, he couldn't even speak, just stared, one hand sneakily intertwining their fingers, and it felt.. well, weird, maybe, a little bit, but also so fucking right that it was hard to imagine how he could ever go another day in his life without holding this exact hand right there. And how many days had gone by without them doing it.. it was almost exasperating, all the lost time. 

"Well, I.. like like you too."

It felt like the easiest thing in the world to say, now that he knew it wasn't just him - like the final puzzle piece falling into place.

richie

Everything was falling right into place. His eyes looking up to match his gaze. His knees felt weak, his palms became sticky with sweat — he didn’t know what to say and he certainly didn’t know how to feel... he was confused to say the least. But he didn’t want to question it. Just the thought of any given person, especially Eddie, having feelings for him of all people? It just didn’t settle well with him. He deserved so much better, so much more than what Richie had to offer. He was just some... loser trashmouth that never could watch his fucking words. He couldn’t control some of the things he said, and it bothered him. But he was thankful that Eddie was always so... patient with him all the time, no matter how much of an asshole he was to him, all of the time. He was the only person he wasn’t ashamed of being himself around, the one person that didn’t give him full fledged anxiety. 

His tough — fingers intertwined with his, pulling him out of his thoughts. He could physically hear his heart beating in his chest and he was sure you could hear it from miles away. Shit, shit, shit. I can’t believe he fucking makes me feel like this.

Well I.. like like you too.  Ever since the two confessed their feelings for one another, every word Eddie spoke caused Richie to crack a smile. “Thank fucking god.”

eddie

Of course he turned it into a slight joke ----but that's just who he was, and Eddie can't help the relieved laugh. 

"Well, lucky us. After all, one thing we did right." 

It wasn't awkward anymore in the sense of them being awkward - but they were still standing in the middle of the living room, hands now intertwined, and he didn't quite know where to go from here. In a movie, this was probably the part when the happy couple kissed, happy end, end screen, credits - but this wasn't a movie, and he really didn't think that kissing was a great idea right now. ( not only because of all the germs, but because he felt like he had exhausted his emotional capacity of new things to do for one night. holding hands was... good. it felt nice, even though their hands were clammy and disgusting, but for once, he couldn't bring himself to care. but that it was for now - holding hands was enough of a step forward. ) 

"So, uh... you wanna watch a movie or something?", he suggested, idea simply born out of the fact that they really didn't have much else to do. "Or do you wanna keep standing here and talk feelings all night? Be mushy and gross?" He was teasing by now, hand nudging forward as if in an attempt to tickle Richie, causing their foreheads to bump together -- and with a shallow breath, he just needed to close his eyes for a moment, staying with their faces touching just slightly, simply enjoying the closeness. He could do that now, and that was an experience in and off itself.

richie

“It’s not the only thing we did right, becoming friends still counts as.. something right? I mean we wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for that.” He wanted to kiss him, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He was nervous to say the very least, not just nervous, he just knew holding hands was a big step for Eddie. Between the sweat coming of both of their hands and all the bacteria that was probably being shared, the thought was probably enough to freak Eddie out. Of course he wouldn’t mention it to him and as much as he wanted to thank him for it, he didn’t want him to overthink it as much as he probably was at that point. So he stood there, silently appreciating every minute of it nonetheless. 

“Disgusting, I think I’d rather watch a movie, just no disney shit. I think I’ve had enough mushyness being with you as it is.” Foreheads bumping together, the warmth he felt with the two being as close as they were, Richie could feel his face start to ache. He was smiling, probably a bit too much, but he’s never felt genuine happiness until this moment.

eddie

"Okay, right. You're right. I'm glad I saved you out of that trashcan." 

 On their first day of school, Richie had already gotten it bad -- Bowers seemed to somehow have a sixth sense as to who he wanted to bully, and Richie with his thick glasses, foul-mouthed personality and utter inability to ever shut up... well, it had only been a matter of minutes for him to be head first in the trashcan in front of the school. Eddie had seen it all, how Richie was screaming and ighting and throwing limbs about, but in the end, he had been stuck in the can, no matter how hard he fought. Bowers was simply too strong. 

The moment was over far too soon, Eddie retreating back, but still unwilling to let go of Richie's hand. t just felt.. right, the way it was, and if he could somehow hold his hand for the rest of the evening - well, he wasn't complaining. 

"We can watch Terminator!", Eddie suggested, eyes lighting up. He knew how much Richie loved that movie, and even though he wasn't exactly a fan himself, the prospect of seeing Richie all indulged and passionate and happy was enough for him.

richie

“I owe you, a shit ton for that one.” God he felt like such a loser, but just meeting Eddie through it all, made the whole situation a lot more bearable. They were labeled losers by the Bowers gang on the daily, so often that Richie began to answer to the label every time it was spoken in his general area. But being a loser wasn’t so bad. Eddie was also a loser. But they weren’t just losers, they were losers together. That’s how they became best friends and that’s what they will always remember themselves as. 

 Richie gave Eddie’s hand a gentle reassuring squeeze, an action enough to show him that he didn’t want to let his hand go either because somehow he knew he felt the same. 

His eyes brightened up, the corners of his lips tugging up into an overwhelming smile. vigorous nodding of his head “Fuck yes, you know how much I love that movie, it’s one of my favorites. Let’s go!!” He rambled pulling Eddie over to the couch. He knew Eddie wasn’t much of a fan of the film and he was just suggesting it to make Richie happy, but he was thankful nonetheless. Thankful that his best friend would sit through his favorite films without hesitation.