#911 2x18 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

schrijverr · 2 days ago

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That’s my Husband, You Sick Son of a Bitch!

Divergence from chapter 29, where Eddie doesn’t get stopped and rushes in to fight the bomber, because that is husband and he will not let this stupid kid kill him. Though, maybe punching him in the face and loudly declaring Buck his husband, wasn’t his best plan.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie

Warnings: injury, violence

~~~

There is lead in Eddie’s stomach, a fear he hasn’t felt since he was pinned in the desert somewhere, almost certain he was never going to see Chris or Buck ever again. It’s been there since he first realized Buck was in that other truck and it hasn’t left the entire time.

Right now, Bobby is steadily trying to come closer to Freddie, his arms raised as he says: “I’m here now. So, what’s next? It’s what you wanted.”

“Wanted you dead,” Freddie tells him.

And vindictively, Eddie thinks: ‘I want you dead,’ the thought taking root as anger flushes through his veins. Anger is better to feel than that ever present gnawing fear. Anger is uncontrollable, but it’s less paralyzing. Anger, Eddie knows how to work with.

“I get that, but what about them?” Bobby counters, keeping his cool and gesturing the other injured firefighters. Then he points at Buck and asks: “What about him?”

Eddie just freezes at the words, the tiny tendrils of fear clawing at the anger he’s cultivating as he’s boiling behind that truck. Because what is Bobby thinking, getting the attention on Buck like that. It’s like he doesn’t see the bomber right there next to Buck, ready to, oh, I don’t know, bomb him?

Oblivious to Eddie’s thoughts, Bobby continues on talking: “He’s got parents, a sister, friends, people that rely on him. And he never did anything to you. He wasn’t even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

Hearing Bobby say that, hits him in the gut, because it’s such a gross under-representation of who Buck is, of all the people that care about him. Of all the people that he cares about. Sure, he has parents, but they suck, but he also is a parent. He’s one of the best goddamn parents Eddie knows. And he’s a parent with Eddie. He’s his partner. His co-parent. His husband.

And yes, it’s not like that, but that doesn’t matter right now, because Bobby is trying to convince this shithead that Buck is a life that is worthy of saving, worthy of letting live, and he can’t do that properly, because he doesn’t have all the facts. He doesn’t know.

Eddie longs to correct him, to yell out that Buck is his fucking husband and this shithead needs to let him go right now, because he can’t do it without him. However, before he can, Freddie is answering Bobby, coldly shrugging: “Collateral damage.”

The disinterested tone in which he says it, cuts through Eddie. He knows that tone. That’s the tone of someone, who doesn’t care. Of someone, who has nothing left to lose. Of someone, who will let Buck die. He cannot let Buck die.

Without a thought, he’s up, moving forward as fast as his feet can carry him as anger takes over, turning into focus. Hands briefly brush against his uniform, trying to grab at him, but he’s faster and stronger, shrugging them off.

He needs to act, he needs to help Buck, he needs to punch something.

And he does. Almost on autopilot, years of boxing that he was forced into in high school, all the sparring he did to blow off steam, the time he spend in the army, it just takes over, and his fists connects with Freddie’s face as he screams out: “That’s my husband, you sick son of a bitch! Not your fucking collateral damage!”

Freddie is stunned by the impact, going down and dropping the trigger to catch himself, while throwing the other hand up to protect his face. Eddie had all but forgotten about the bomb in his rage, but he puts it out of his mind the second he got Freddie’s hands pinned and the button is out of reach again.

It’s fighting dirty, what he’s doing, but he doesn’t care, fist coming down on the guy’s face as he seethes: “You don’t,” punch, “get to,” punch, “take my kid’s,” punch, “dad,” punch, “from him.”

Before, he can punch again, people are grabbing him and roughly pulling him away from Freddie, whose nose is open and bleeding. He’s getting cuffed and a bomb squad is moving in, but Eddie is not treated kindly either.

He’s being restrained and he struggles against them. It’s not even that he’s trying to get another swing at Freddie, it’s just that the adrenaline is still rushing through him, still telling him to act. And he knows that even if Freddie is gone, Buck is still there. Buck still needs him.

So, he’s pushing and kicking, trying to get them away so he can see Buck. He’s hearing nothing, the harsh voices telling him to calm down not getting through to him at all.

It’s not until Athena is in front of him, slapping his cheek, that he snaps out of it and hears her voice say: “Eddie Diaz, you better calm down right now. Or I’m going to have to arrest you.”

“Buck. Buck still needs me,” Eddie wheezes, not entirely stopping the fight.

“And you can’t do shit for Buck if you don’t calm the fuck down,” Athena tells him without mincing her words.

“Okay. Okay,” Eddie says out loud to himself, taking breaths as he unclenches his muscles. At some point, rough gloved hands tentatively let him go, before people are stepping away when he doesn’t do anything more stupid.

Athena is sending him a weird look, but she doesn’t comment on anything that just went down, which Eddie is grateful for. Instead, she puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and leads him over to where Buck is, Hen already working on him, while Chimney tries to coordinate rescue.

Buck looks to be in complete agony, but still conscious. In an almost out of body experience, Eddie kneels down next to him, gently taking his hand and putting it on his lap. He stares at the appendage for way too long, tracing its every line, before he breathes out: “Buck…”

“Hey,” Buck tries to crack a grin, but he isn’t fully successful.

“Hi,” Eddie replies with a small voice.

“You just totally fought that guy for my honor,” Buck says, his eyes sparkling with something Eddie can’t place, despite the pain.

“Uh, I did.”

“That was pretty stupid,” Buck tells him, then adds: “But also pretty cool.”

“I’m, uh- I’m glad you think so,” Eddie chuckles, unsure how he feels about that, or what to say to it beyond what he already did.

However, he doesn’t have to figure that out right now, because Buck hisses in pain as something shifts and grips Eddie’s hand in a death grip, while his eyes flutter close.

Eddie’s eyes whip over to Hen’s face. He’s been so out of it, he hasn’t gotten the wits to pull out his medic professionalism, too focused on making sure Buck was still alive, feeling his warm hand in his own.

“Here.” Hen pushes a bunch of medical equipment in his hands as muscle memory takes over. Then she turns to Buck and says: “So, Eddie’s husband, tell me more about that.”

“Tha’s me. ‘m Eddie’s husband,” Buck murmurs, his eyes opening to slits. It’s clear the blood loss and whatever other injuries he may have are starting to hit him hard.

“Hen,” Eddie hisses, “is this the time?”

She sends him an unimpressed look and says: “He needs to stay conscious, in order to do that he needs to keep talking. I’m keeping him talking.” Then to Buck she goes: “What were you about to say?”

“’m Eddie’s h’sb’nd,” Buck smiles at her and Eddie has to blush and look away when he sees it. Then in a hushed whisper, Buck adds: “Bu’ y’re not ‘llowed to t’ll any’ne.”

Amused, Hen promises: “I won’t.”

“H’s s’nice,” Buck tells her conversationally and Eddie wants to tell him to shut up, but they do need him conscious and a small part of him preens at the admission.

“Oh, is he?”

“Y’ah, he ‘s,” Buck says, voice appearing to gain power as he gushes about Eddie. “But h’s also s’ch a bitch s’metimes, but it looks s’good on ‘im. ‘e looks s’xy wi’h his hands on his h’ps, cocky li’le f’cker.”

Eddie chokes on a noise and busies himself with making sure Buck is getting fluids, while ignoring the way Hen is looking at him. He never thought of himself as a bitch, even though he can admit now that he is sometimes. However, Buck finding it sexy on him makes him feel all squirmy, though he doesn’t know what to do with that.

“G’eat back up at par’nt-t’acher conf’renc’s,” Buck continues on, oblivious to Eddie’s struggles and only making them worse. “H’s a g’eat dad too. Chris loves t’e shit outta ‘im and I love t’e way he smiles wh’n Chris ‘s in t’e room.”

Desperately Eddie looks over to where their meager back up is getting into position to lift the engine of Buck’s foot. He and Hen are staying right there to monitor Buck and pull him out. No one seems to expect him to move away from Buck, which he is grateful for, though he can’t fully comprehend why.

“It’s t’e cri’kles, ya’ know, ‘round h’s ey- AHHH!” Buck cuts himself off with a scream when the engine gets minimally lifted and Eddie and Hen tug at him, hoping to get him free.

His hand has Eddie’s in a death grip once more, but he can’t bring himself to care about the pain, just gripping back, hoping it will be a comfort. It has to be, because it’s all he can give right now. All he can do to help. No matter how much more he would rather be doing.

But it’s not enough. Not enough people, not enough manpower.

Eddie can’t name half the feelings that are swirling around in his chest, but he knows one of them is desperation. Hopelessness. He is never good enough and right now, he feels it more than ever. Without his permission, tears well up in his eyes and he looks over to Bobby desperately, asking: “Is there anything on the truck we can use for leverage?”

Bobby crushes any hope he has of getting Buck out sooner. “No, we need more people.”

“It hurts,” Buck says in a small voice and Eddie’s heart breaks.

Without conscious thought, his free hand comes up to card through Buck’s hair as he attempts to soothe him: “I know. I know. We’ll get you out, I promise. I’m right here, just keep holding onto my hand. I got you. I always got you.”

He barely has the mind to focus on the people breaking through the barrier to come help. He is grateful to them for helping them get Buck out, but he can’t even think of them. Instead he is completely zeroed in on Buck, only noticing the bystanders to the extend that he acknowledges when they allow for him and Hen to pull Buck free, before he gets caught in the whirlwind of getting Buck on the backboard and into the ambulance.

Buck keeps groaning and whimpering in pain and each time it slashes through Eddie’s soul. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget those wounded noises.

In the ambulance, it’s clear that Eddie isn’t driving along as a medic, but as family of the victim. Hen and Chimney flutter about him, keeping Buck stable, and Eddie just sits there, holding his hand.

As they work, they keep Buck busy with questions or comments, prompting him to keep talking. It appears that Buck has decided that Eddie is a great topic, which means Eddie spends the whole drive with fear for Buck’s life and embarrassed fondness warring in his chest.

But what else is he supposed to do, but burn worriedly when Buck slurs: “H’s t’e b’st thin’ tha’ happen’d to me.”

What is he supposed to do, but grip Buck’s hand tightly and pray that he’s making it through this, because Eddie feels like his insides are going to crawl out of his mouth and like he is going to shed all his skin. He feels hot all over and cold to the core, uncomfortable at Buck’s words, but also pleasantly buzzed on them, heat flooding through his veins.

By the time they get to the hospital, his ears feel like they’re going to fall off with how hot they are and his insides are more squirmy than ever.

At that point, the fluids they’ve been giving Buck are beginning to work their magic and Buck’s eyes clear up a little more as they roll him towards the hospital. Panic flashes in his blue eyes as he looks at Eddie and he chokes out: “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just focus on making it through this, okay? I’m here. I’m right here. I’m always going to be here,” Eddie assures him with a pained smile. It’s not pained because he blames Buck for giving them away, but because Buck blames himself for that, even when he is in so much pain. The stupid self sacrificing idiot.

“You will?” Buck asks, voice heartbreakingly fragile.

“I will,” Eddie promises, because there isn’t a cell in his body that would ever think differently.

Buck smiles gratefully at that, but doesn’t say anything else, clearly too exhausted. Eddie should be letting go of his hand now, but he can’t bring himself to. He fears that if he lets go of Buck now, he might lose him forever and that’s a reality he cannot imagine.

In the end, Chimney has to gently pry his fingers off of Buck’s hand so they can hand him over to the hospital. As he does, he shushes him: “It’s alright Eddie, you’ll see him again. Buck’s a though cookie, he’ll make it. You’re not going to lose your husband, I promise.”

It’s not a promise they are allowed to make to patients or loved ones in their line of work, but it doesn’t even register to Eddie. Instead, it’s as if something has been knocked loose in his chest and a realization floods through his veins; Eddie is in love with Buck.

This whole time, he hadn’t even realized that he never corrected anyone’s assumption about the nature of their relationship. He’d been so focused on Buck that he didn’t even question it. Embarrassed by the way he was waxing poetry, sure, but also pleased. Happy.

It suddenly makes so much sense to him. Why it was so hard with Shannon, but so easy with Buck. The way he kept finding reasons to not divorce Buck, to keep him close. The way it hurt when he had to suggest a divorce, the relief when Buck didn’t want to.

Eddie wanted to Buck to say those things about him. Still wants him to. He loves him and he might have just lost him forever, before he even got to bask in it or say it back.

The crushing reality that he is gay and in love with his husband, who is his best friend and co-parent, crashes over him and he nearly buckles under the force of it. He stands there at the entrance of the hospital, shaking. He can’t deal with all of this right now.

His lip wobbles and he bites it harshly to stop it, mechanically straightening his spine and choppily marching into the hospital. He needs something to do. Something to keep himself together. He snatches the hospital sign in paperwork for Buck out of some poor nurse’s hands, before anyone else can. His hands shake, but he forces his penmanship to be neat. Buck can’t die at his hands due to illegibility of his handwriting. Not before Eddie can tell him.

As he fills everything in in a frenzy, Hen and Chimney are hovering behind him, watching him with worried brows as they share meaningful looks with each other. Eddie ignores them, just like he’s ignoring the turmoil inside. He has a job to do right now.

However, in this very smart plan, he’d forgotten that his job was a small one. When the paperwork is handed over to the hospital, Eddie is left adrift again and it all hits him like a tidal wave once more.

No matter how much he hates it and tries to fight it, tears well up in his eyes and he chokes on a sob as he collapses on the waiting room chair between Chimney and Hen, crying: “I love him. Oh my god, I love him and I didn’t tell him.”

“It’s okay, Eddie,” Chimney rubs his back. “A lot was happening.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he knows you do,” Hen comforts him too, arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“No, he does- doesn’t,” Eddie cries, hiccuping over his words. “He doesn’t because I never- I never told h-im. Because I’m an- an idiot, who didn’t- didn’t even real- realize that I l- lo-ve him until now.”

Behind his back Hen and Chimney exchange another look, before Hen tentatively asks: “What do you mean you didn’t realize you love Buck until now? I- uh, I thought you two are married.”

“We are,” Eddie sniffles, wiping at his tears. “It’s a- a con- convenience thing.”

Chimney chokes on his spit and start coughing. Eddie can feel Hen pushing him lightly from behind his back, but he doesn’t comment on it, cheeks burning in embarrassment. He knows how stupid it sounds now, he feels like an idiot already. No need to make it worse.

“Can I ask how that happened?” Hen asks gently, while Chimney continues to try and get his breathing under control.

“It’s a long story,” Eddie mumbles, the every present shame of not being good enough weighing down on his chest.

“I mean, we have time, but it’s okay if you don’t want to tell us right now,” Chimney says, having gained control of himself. “Though, gotta say, man, little offended we didn’t get invited to the wedding.”

That gets a wet chuckle out of Eddie, which was probably the point. He glances over at Chimney and manages to crack a smile: “Sorry. Though it would’ve been a little difficult, since we got married back in 2016.”

He watches with a bit of amusement as the gently joking expression on Chimney’s face gets wiped off by shock, eyes bulging out of their sockets. On his shoulder Hen’s hand spasms, probably also in surprise.

Eddie bites his lip, this time to stop the smile, then looks out into the waiting room with unseeing eyes, lost in the memories. “We met in 2015 in El Paso. Buck worked on a chicken farm and I’d just returned from my second tour. He was actually seeing Shannon at the time.”

“As in your ex-wife Shannon?” Chimney asks, sounding shocked yet also gleefully invested. Eddie can’t help but be fond at the nosiness.

“Yeah,” Eddie says with a crooked-smile. “Probably should have realized it then, with how little I cared about it. How a part of me was happy she was, that maybe she just cheated and that’s why she left. That I was normal.”

“Oh, Eddie,” Hen sighs and she pulls him into her side.

Eddie goes willingly. The realization from earlier suddenly stuck in his throat like a missed bone in a fish. Tears start up again. He hadn’t even realized how hard admitting that would hit, until he said it and now he struggles to swallow it away.

He curls into Hen’s side more, hiding his face in her neck. He shouldn’t be doing this, showing weakness the way he is, but he can’t bring himself to care. Buck is in surgery and Eddie has never felt so scared before, except maybe when it was Chris. He needs the comfort of his friends.

The tears start up again and he weeps silently into Hen’s uniform. Hen doesn’t comment on it, just pulls him closer and holds him tight, while Chimney continues rubbing his back. Eddie doesn’t know what he did to deserve people like this, but he’s so grateful.

They’re interrupted by Maddie rushing in, looking a mess, frantic, worried and confused. Eddie cringes away from her, scared to face her now. He’s always wanted Maddie to like him – another thing that makes more sense in hindsight – and he fears the probably somewhat right accusations she might throw at him when she gets there.

Both Hen and Chimney can feel how he tenses up and after a silent moment of communication, Chimney squeezes his shoulder, before getting up to catch Maddie. Eddie loves him for it. It’s Eddie’s duty as a brother-in-law, but he feels too wrung out.

They watch Chimney talk lowly to her, arms making calming gestures, while Maddie’s arms move wildly. After a bit, Chimney grabs her shoulders and says something intently, then Maddie collapses into a hug and clings tight while Chimney holds her.

“Did Maddie know?” Hen asks softly after a few moments.

“No,” Eddie says with a small voice. “No one, but my family does. Buck wanted to tell her, but he didn’t want to make her keep that secret from Chimney.”

“Self sacrificing idiot,” Hen says fondly, echoing Eddie’s earlier thoughts, so he can only hum in agreement.

Chimney leads Maddie away, probably to calm her down some more. Eddie can’t help but note how good a match they are, making a mental note to mention it to Buck, soothe some of his worries. Before his chest twists again with the reminder that that might not be possible.

Fresh tears well up and he buries his face in his hands and lets Hen comfort him again. Later he’s probably going to want the ground to swallow him over it, but right now, he just thinks about how nice it is to be held like this. He can’t remember the last time he let anyone hold him like this.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but the tears have gone from full on tears to silent weeping to little sniffles by the time someone nudges him.

When he blinks a few times and rubs the crud out of his eyes, he finds Athena there, holding out a bottle of water to him, a gentle motherly look on her face. “Here, drink this, baby. I’ll need to take your statement after, is that okay? You feel up for that?”

“Thank you.” Clumsily, Eddie takes the bottle from her, struggling with the cap for a second, before chugging half, then forcing himself to take small sips. He didn’t even realize how thirsty all the crying made him until now.

Then the rest of her sentence registers and he wipes his mouth, before looking to the floor and hunching in on himself. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“Well, we need a statement, but it doesn’t have to be now. We can do it later,” Athena offers.

“No, it’s okay,” he gives her a watery smile. “I can do it now. Not much else to do but wait.”

Sympathy flashes over Athena’s features, before she gets everything ready to take his statement. “So, can you tell me what happened, Eddie?”

“Uh, we- we heard Bobby – Captain Nash – on the radio, which was a little odd, since he’s, you know, suspended right now,” Eddie starts, recounting everything that happened from then until he gets to attacking Freddie. “He just sounded so cold, you know. The way he said it. ‘Collateral damage.’ He didn’t care if Buck lived or died. I- I couldn’t just stand there anymore, you know.”

“I think so, but can you tell me more?” Athena prompts.

Eddie swallows uncomfortably, then says: “He had Buck. He would have let Buck die. I- I couldn’t let him do that, not when- not when he had to come home to me. To Chris. Uh, Christopher, our son,” he clarifies for the record.

Athena probably had gathered some bits and she is a professional to the core, but Eddie can see the way her face twitches slightly when he says ‘our son.’

He continues: “I acted before I could even think about it. It was instinct taking over. I couldn’t let him kill Buck, couldn’t let Chris lose another parent after his mom already walked out on him and I had to leave him to serve in the army. I couldn’t do that to him. And I couldn’t lose Buck. So, I acted.”

“And the way you kept punching?” Athena asks, not judgmentally, though Eddie still feels it.

“Uh,” he looks away. “Adrenaline, I think. All the fear coming out. I mean, I saw the trigger to the bomb so close by still, I felt like I had to stop him. So I pinned him, tried to knock him out. I probably should have stopped, but I wasn’t thinking.”

Athena hums to herself as she nods, looking over her notes. Then follows up: “Was that also the reason you kept struggling after you two had been separated?”

Eddie blushes at that and admits: “In part. Another part was that Buck was still out there. He needed to me, so I had to get to him, but they weren’t letting me. In the heat of the moment, it didn’t register who they were and what they were doing. When I snapped out of it, I stopped,” he adds in defense of himself.

“I know,” Athena smiles. “And can you state for the record what your relationship is with Buck, or Evan Buckley?”

“He’s my family,” Eddie says without missing a beat. Then he grimaces as he says: “It’s a little complicated, but he’s my husband and my co-parent. My best friend. I love him.”

“Thank you, Eddie,” Athena tells him, then puts away all her official stuff. She is done with taking his statement and Eddie relaxes slightly. Once she has everything tucked away, she asks: “And how are you feeling?”

“Terrified,” Eddie confesses.

“He’ll be okay,” Athena assures him. “Buckaroo is too stubborn for anything else.”

Eddie gives her a teary yet grateful smile. “Thank you.”

Then Bobby speaks up: “We’re here for you two. All of us.” Eddie hadn’t even noticed him coming in and looks up with a start.

“Thanks, Cap,” he says, unsure how to break to either of them that it’s not like that – though maybe it is now – instead he focuses on an important detail, asking: “Are we in a lot of trouble?”

“You would be,” Bobby says and Eddie tenses, then Bobby adds: “But you got lucky that your stunt made it to national television. Court of public opinion is definitely on your side, the LAFD would face a shit storm if they fired either one of you now.”

Almost as if with cosmic timing, the TV in the hospital waiting room re-plays footage from the explosion. Above the murmuring and commentary from the reporters, you can clearly hear TV Eddie scream: “That’s my husband, you sick son of a bitch! Not your fucking collateral damage!”

Embarrassment flushes through Eddie at his own actions, though he doesn’t regret it. Not when he got Buck out of there and to surgery as quickly as he could. Still, his voice is a little shrill as he says: “Oh, well, that’s good.”

“It is,” Bobby agrees mildly, but he doesn’t offer more.

Timidly, Eddie asks: “And are you mad?”

Bobby sighs, before rubbing his face. “A little,” he admits and a part of Eddie wilts. “However, I mostly don’t know what to feel just yet. I hope we didn’t make you uncomfortable for you to not want to share.”

Right now Eddie should probably explain, but he’s already had too many emotional talks, so he just smiles tiredly: “No, no. It was just us being in our own way.”

Hen, who has more context, though not all yet, snorts a little at that. Eddie can’t help but shoulder check her lightly over it, but the action on the whole just makes him feel warm. Fond.

He has no clue what tomorrow will look like, or even the next hour. He still has to deal with all the realizations he’s had today, with telling Chris and dealing with the brass about their lie. With the potential anger or other reactions of everyone at them for lying.

However, right now, he just lets the comfort of his family wash over him, bask in the fact that he has this support system. He can face tomorrow. Face what will happen next. He just has to make it through this, then kiss Buck on the mouth. The rest will come.

A/N:

Ugh, you don’t even wanna know how much I wanted this to be the reveal, sadly these dumbasses are not done with us yet, so we’re gonna have to continue on in the main verse with their bullshit still in tact </3

Besides, it felt cliché to do a feelings realization over Buck getting hurt, since Buck’s feelings realization was already about Eddie getting hurt, like that felt repetitive

Also, idk why, but I have such a hard time incorporating Maddie in these AUAUs. I keep trying, but it never works out, so I always end up relegating her to more of a background role, I’m sorry to all the Maddie lovers out there, I’ll try for future AUAUs!

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