#90's broken beat

[writingouthere]

singledad!sukuna x neighbor!reader; the promised prequel, you and Sukuna gaslighting each other into a relationship. You don't need to have read the first story to get this one but it's here! Yuuji is Sukuna's little brother but Sukuna has raised him since birth and Yuuji calls him dad.

cw: the vibes are bad but mutual so? like Sukuna is lying, scheming his way into being your husband but you are also lying, scheming to be his wife

Phase 1: Gaslight

Sukuna walked to the top of the landing feeling pretty fucking incredible. Today, he'd managed to beat the shit out of some crusty, old fucks who thought they could get some of their old territory back from him and Uraume. As a bonus, he'd managed to embarrass that nosy cop Yaga who was always bothering them.

Nothing like important evidence in a upcoming case mysteriously vanishing to get you some side-eye from the city. Sukuna thought that was what they deserved for using a closed circuit security cam system they'd probably bought in the 90's.

To add to this amazing day, he was about to get to eat dinner with his little brother and his gorgeous neighbor who was watching him.

His phone buzzed and Sukuna looked down to see a text from Uraume.

Where are you?

Another message followed shortly after.

Did you already go home? Is this about your neighbor? It's getting sad.

Sukuna chose to ignore his only friend and head for his apartment, which was conveniently across yours. Well at least it had proved convenient for him.

You had moved in a few months ago and Sukuna had been instantly smitten. As soon as you had introduced yourself to Sukuna, he knew it was over. He wanted you to look at him all the time, although he supposed he could let you give Yuuji some of your attention.

You had looked at his tattoos, his piercings, his dyed hair with some obvious interest, but then talked to him like he was a normal person. Maybe it was the effect of a clinging Yuuji calling him 'daddy', but you seemed to find him nonthreatening to an almost offensive degree. He found he didn't mind it.

He had offered you any help you might need, just from one neighbor to another and you had thanked him with all of your good manners on display.

You had taken him up on his offer of help when your radiator had stopped working a few weeks after you moved in. The super in your building was notoriously shitty and as such, had not been answering any of your calls or texts. Sukuna had fixed it while you and Yuuji drew some pictures and listened to some overly peppy pop music. When Sukuna had finished, you had insisted the two of them stay for dinner as payment and Sukuna couldn't help but accept.

You didn't need to know the radiator was broken in the first place because he had picked your lock and fucked up the valve the night before. You were clearly just as eager to get to know him as he was you, you just needed a little push and he was happy provide it.

Later, when telling you a story while you cooked, he knew he hadn't mistaken the pleased look in your eyes when he mentioned he was a single parent. He didn't let on that he noticed though and he continued telling you a story about Yuuji and Megumi's nearly successful attempt to kidnap a very confused hound from the dog park.

The boy had protested at his correct version of events. "His owner was mean!"

"Yuuji, he was a thousand and so was the mutt. He probably thought Megumi was the grim reaper finally there to take him home."

Yuuji had kept arguing while you laughed and laughed. Sukuna was quickly addicted to the sound.

Dinner had been delicious and the three of you spent the whole evening together. Sukuna couldn't help but think that it felt right.

Maybe he was growing soft in his old age, but he didn't hate the idea of coming home to this every night. After a stressful day of blood, gore and various shenanigans, it would be nice to come back to a kind face and a warm home. It helped that Yuuji, the brat, spent the whole night smiling so hard it looked almost painful.

After he put Yuuji to bed that night, Sukuna made a decision that he would be coming home every night to that. He just needed to get you on board.

He'd tried asking you out the normal way, but you had been hesitant. You had spouted some bullshit about a bad ex, needing to focus on your career, blah, blah. In your defense, you did look genuinely remorseful about turning him down, and Sukuna recognized in you a strong sense of self preservation and wariness that he understood. Sukuna told that it wasn't a problem. And it wasn't.

He just had to change tactics.

The idea had come to him a few weeks after you turned him down. You hadn't rejected him because you weren't interested, he knew that. Sukuna had seen the way you smiled at him, the hungry stare when his shirt would get caught when he took off a sweatshirt. You had clearly been hurt by people who hadn't deserved you and you were justifiably nervous. He needed to show you that he was here to take care of you.

God, he would be so good to you, you just didn't see it yet. By the time you realized what was going on, you would be so happy that you wouldn't mind the steps that you you there. He wasn't going to give you any other option.

This all led to him to the next part of his plan. Even though he had Yuuji in the most expensive daycare laundered money could buy, he had decided to tell you that there was a sudden issue with the center. He had kept it vague and you hadn't pressed him for details. The fact those details led to Yuuji needing childcare when you happened to not be at work, well that was just good fortune.

Like the good girl you were, you immediately agreed to watch Yuuji when he had called telling you the fake problem with the daycare. When it had happened again the next week, this time a work emergency he couldn't get out of, you agreed to help again. And then again and again and again until you were watching Yuuji at least two or three nights a week.

Now, some people may have a problem weaponizing their four-year old to get a woman to date them. Sukuna did not have this hang up. Afternoons watching Yuuji quickly turned into dinners with the three of you, and every day just brought you closer and closer to finally being together.

Sukuna had even worked up to some light touching. Just a quick brushing of his hand on your shoulder when thanking you, moving you aside by your hips when the two of you were in the kitchen. At first, you'd seemed a little unsure but now you had even begun returning his affection. You were quick to squeeze his hand or lean against him on the couch during your little family move nights.

Thinking about what he could get away with tonight, Sukuna knocks twice on his door before using his key to unlock it. Upon entering, he's immediately tackled by a mini-linebacker.

"Daddy!"

Used to the boy's antics, Sukuna caught him and closes the door with his hip before walking over to where you were stirring something on the stove.

"Hey kid, how was your day?" Sukuna asks Yuuji as you shoot them both a fond smile.

"It was amazing! Megumi's mom brought one of their dogs to daycare today and he was so fluffy...."

Yuuji goes on and on about his day while making sure to slip in how they should definitely get a dog every couple of sentences. Aside from how the idea of a creature existing only be to owned and loved at will by it's owners disgusting Sukuna, he also still keenly remembers the time Yuuji found a dead earthworm outside and cried for an hour. Being responsible for a living, shitting thing that would eventually die was probably still too much for him.

You find Yuuji's ramblings charming and even though you hadn't arrived at pick up early enough to see Megumi's mommy with the dog, you agree with Yuuji that he must have been a very fluffy boy indeed.

"Sounds like you had a good day," he says before looking over at you. "Thanks again for stepping in to watch the brat, I really appreciate it."

While Yuuji protests his less than affectionate nickname, you distract him by pinching his cheek. "No worries, Yuuji and I had a lot of fun. Right, Yuuji?"

"Yeah!"

Insult forgotten, Yuuji leans against Sukuna's shoulder while you put the finishing touches on dinner.

You're keeping Sukuna company while he does the dishes later when you bring something up that almost trips him up.

"You know, I talked to the daycare worker today and she was wondering why you weren't picking up Yuuji as much. She said you'd never missed a day before a few months ago."

You say it innocently, but there is a question implied there. What has changed?

He keeps it casual as he dries a plate with his newly aquired sunflower hand towel. "Yeah, it sucks not being able to get the kid every day, but work has really been on my case lately."

This wasn't true. Work was work, and even in the past he'd always prioritized time with Yuuji over getting extra jobs done. Now, he thought of the time he was gone as investing in Yuuji's future by making sure you would be a part of it. The extra cash he was bringing in would probably end up in Yuuji's college fund or as a down payment on a house for your soon to be growing family anyway.

Sukuna was actually quite thoughtful when you got down to it.

You take his words at face value. The two of you are chatting about some play the daycare would be putting on, where Yuuji would be starring as a particularly cheerful acorn, when his phone rang. Sukuna would normally ignore it, but the ringtone was one he had set specifically for Kenjaku and that fuck was not to be left unattended.

"Give me just a sec," he tells you before heading into another room.

"What the fuck do you want?" he asks, already bored with the conversation and impatient to get back to you and Yuuji.

It's some nonsense about a late shipment and incompetent people who are not Sukuna, and he gets more pissed as the minutes keep ticking. Finally, he tells the creep what he's going to him if he doesn't figure the mess out himself. It starts with some mild dismemberment and ends with an unspeakable act with his open skull once Sukuna rips out the stitches he'd recently gotten under mysterious circumstances.

He hangs up and goes out into the living room where you and Yuuji are watching tv. You're picking at your nail beds, something he's only seen you do when you're upset, but you give him a smile as he comes to sit down next to you.

He tells himself that he's being paranoid. The tv is loud and you're too good a girl to eavesdrop.

You leave not too long after the call and as you go to the door, you hesitate.

"Something on your mind," he asks wondering if maybe you heard something after all.

You shake your head and smile at him again. "No, it's nothing. I'm just so tired from work, honestly."

You turn to leave and he gently grabs your arm and pulls you closer. You look too taken aback for him to try and kiss you now, so he just presses his lips against your temple, taking in the smell of your hair and the warmth you give him.

"Good night, princess."

You give him a shaky good night in return and he watches you go into your apartment before he shuts the door. He can't keep the smug grin off his face, everything was going according to plan.

Phase 2: Gatekeep

You weren't going to stop anywhere on your way home from daycare but Yuuji really wants to go to the park and you just couldn't say no to his cute face. Sukuna said he would be home late anyway, since he was stuck at the office. Again.

You still didn't know what 'office' Sukuna worked at exactly ,but the hours seemed pretty wild. This was the fourth time in the past two weeks he'd called you, contrite in a way that didn't seem natural to him, asking if you could pick up Yuuji from daycare. You didn't mind helping him, in fact you loved hanging out with the four year-old. It definitely beat going back to your quiet apartment every night.

But still, it seemed weird for someone as in control as Sukuna to not have a better handle on his childcare. He's presumably had this job a while, and Yuuji hadn't been born yesterday. Considering you'd once watched an entire elevator of people in your building get out when they saw Sukuna get on, you doubted he could count on his other neighbors for last minute childcare.

There also that weird phone call you'd overheard that night at his place.

"Look, it's Megumi!"

You look to see where Yuuji is waving with his free hand while his other one is dragging you with inhuman strength towards a small boy with black hair and a very cultivated resting bitch face.

"Hi Megumi, it's nice to meet you. Are you Yuuji's friend?" The little boy nods and looks you up and down as you finish introducing yourself.

"Yuuji's talked about you." The boy looks like he's about to say more but Yuuji laughs and starts pulling him away towards the swings with calls for you to watch and see how high you can go.

Watching the two boys run around, you almost forget how cold you are and how confusing the past few weeks, few months really, have been.

"Ah, so you're the neighbor."

You turn and see a beautiful man walking up to you. His hair is long, styled in a half up-half down style that would make you look like you belonged to a weird religious cult, but on him looks fashionable. His coat is plain black, but you recognize the logo and are in awe that someone so wealthy would just bring their kid to a random public park.

You really don't get rich people.

"Um, who are you?"

The man laughs but it isn't a nice sound, it's a pretty sound, everything about this man is pretty, but his laugh isn't giving "laughing with you" vibes.

"I'm Suguru, Megumi's parent. I'm sure you'll meet my other half soon enough," he says with a fondness that makes you smile.

"Is your wife still at work?"

"Husband," he corrects kindly, as he sips from one of those expensive water bottles you're always seeing online. "And I suppose, I mean he's at work in the same way that Ryoumen is at work."

You feel that unpleasant feeling well up in you again, the one that told you the valve on the radiator had been there and been fine when you went to sleep that night. "Sorry, do they work at the same company or something?" You laugh but it's forced and the look in his eyes sharpens.

"Company?"

You're irritated now and with a look to confirm the boys are still preoccupied with each other you turn to this infuriating stranger with all the uncertainty and anxiety that has been building in you since Sukuna kissed your temple when you left the other night.

"Alright, what the fuck is going on? I don't know you or your husband or even Sukuna lately but it's obvious you're mixed up with some shady shit-"

"You're right, you really don't know anything." The words are said with the same kind tone from earlier, but there's something nasty underlying them.

"Let me help you out," Suguru says and his height helps him look down on you literally as he does so with his words. "Ryoumen is not your friend and all of these little situations you're finding yourself in, he's making them up. Normally, I wouldn't mind. However, Satoru and I made a bet on when you'd figure it out, or run for the hills. If this goes on much longer, Satoru is going to win and believe me, he'll be insufferable if that happens."

"How kind of you," you tell him and he just smiles in a practiced fashion. "So what is it exactly that I need to know? I already knew that Sukuna liked me."

"Like is an interesting word," Suguru says.

"What word would you use?"

Suguru thinks about it for a minute and takes another sip of his water. "Obsessed, possessive, irrational."

"I see why I would run for the hills," you say dryly and he laughs, actually amused this time.

"Maybe, it depends on what you're looking for."

You were curious despite yourself. "What do you mean?"

"I'll deny it if you ever tell either of them, but your Ryoumen and my Satoru have a lot in common. They're strong and self absorbed in a way that most people rightfully find off putting. They don't think other people are as substantial as they are, which they may be right about." You listen as he continues, unsure where this is going. "This means they don't have many weaknesses, but the weaknesses they do have are crippling."

"What weaknesses are those?" you ask but you have an idea, watching the two boys continue to chase each other around the swings.

"They don't care about many people, but the people they do carry about, they'll burn the world for. Satoru did the same bullshit with me that Ryoumen is pulling with you. Just pushing himself into my life little by little and rearranging everything until he was right at the center of it."

"What did you do when you found out?" You wonder how that had led to a marriage, and wonder if this was some basement wife shit. Suguru gives you an amused look like he can read your thoughts.

"He's not a....subtle creature, I knew almost right away."

You still feel lost. "Why didn't you confront him, tell him you knew what was happening?"

"He doesn't need to know everything, he has plenty on his mind as it is. Some information is better kept just for me."

In fairness, it is hard for you to see the man in front of you being manipulated into anything, but you still push. "It just sounds like you're excusing his behavior."

"I let Satoru have me, because I wanted what he was offering. He wanted a partner, someone to raise Megumi with after he killed his old man," you really felt like this required more explanation but Suguru kept going like he was talking about the weather. "He was my best friend and I loved him, I didn't mind if he wanted to make me his little housewife. I was tired of dealing with all that shit, anyway."

"So what? It's okay that he manipulated you into marriage, because you love him? That seems fucked up to me."

"Maybe, but I don't mind. You may not understand this, but I came from the middle of nowhere before I met Satoru. I was poor, I had nothing going for me except I was smart and was willing to do whatever work I could get, and I also happened to be the only out gay person I had ever met." You winced in sympathy and he sighed before shaking out his long, glossy hair.

"Besides, you're missing the point. You can either hold on to your false illusion of independence and move through life at the will of people and institutions bigger and more powerful than you," he says and gives you a pointed look. "Or you can choose to put your life in the hands of someone who can stand up to those institutions and people in your name."

"It just seems like picking your poison to me," but you can see what he means in spite of yourself. Years of shitty exes, jobs that exploited your labor, a life that had been harder than you wanted and at the end of the day an apartment empty of anyone to go back to. What did you really want here?

"Well I love Satoru, I know he loves me and Megumi, and that there is nothing and no one that he wouldn't face in order to protect us. What else could I want?"

Before you can answer his question, the same one you had asked yourself. Megumi calls out he's hungry and Suguru tells him they are going home. Both boys start to run over to the two of you.

"Just think about it. Soon it won't be your choice at all."

"Why are you really telling me this?" you can't help but ask and he looks at you.

"Because I think it should be your choice. They may be gods among men, but that doesn't mean they have to rule us." He gives one last calculated smile that sends shivers down your spine. "Having the ear of a god gives you a lot more than just a pretty ring, if you use it right."

Suguru and Megumi wave when they leave and Yuuji grabs your hand as the two of you make your way back home.

"Megumi's mom is so nice!"

"Yeah," you say a little distracted. But with every step towards your apartment, you become more sure of what you want and that gives you a sense of calm you'd been missing since Sukuna came carving his own path into your life. "He was lovely."

Phase 3: Girlboss

Sukuna looked at the ceiling of your apartment, which was just raining down water, and then looked at you.

"You said you woke up and it was just like this?"

He tried not to sound incredulous but damn, you must sleep like the dead. It was like the a fucking typhoon in here.

Your eyes teared up a little and you tugged at the baggy t-shirt you were wearing, which just brought his attention to how it barely reached your thighs and were you even wearing panties-

"I just don't know what to do Sukuna, do you think there's something wrong with the pipes?"

Sukuna tried his best to make eye contact with you and maybe if he'd been paying better attention, he would have seen your eyes were shining with victory, not tears, but alas he was only a man.

"Yeah, it looks like a pipe burst upstairs. That apartment has been empty forever, useless super must have not done anything to make sure it was good for winter."

You nodded and then let out a big sigh that managed to nearly drown out the water. "What if I can't stay in the apartment? Where am I going to live?"

Sukuna shook his head and wiped away a tear on your cheek. "Let me go check it out upstairs before you freak out, okay?" He took his key out and handed it to you. "Just go wait in my apartment okay, I'll let you know what I find."

You nod and Sukuna leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead before heading upstairs to the vacant apartment. The door is unlocked, Sukuna assumed to make it easier for prospective tenants to check it out.

As soon as Sukuna gets to the bathroom he sees the problem. A pipe is leaking. It seemed careless for the super to let it get to this point, but it wouldn't be hard to fix. In fact, Sukuna doesn't even have to go back to his apartment for any tools. A toolkit is stashed under the sink, next to where the pipe is leaking. Sukuna grabs a wrench and it doesn't take more than a minute to tighten the pipe up.

"Weird," Sukuna says but whatever. Not his job to critique shitty workmanship in a building he doesn't own at 3 in the morning. As Sukuna puts the wrench back, he notices the kit looks a lot like the little starter kit you have in your own apartment.

The super should really have better materials.

Sukuna returns back to his apartment to see you pacing across his living room and you just look so lost that he can't help but pull you into his arms. "It's fine, I fixed it. We'll just dry out your apartment and I can call someone to come look at it in the morning."

"What if it's not fixable? What if I have to move out-"

"You're leaving!"

Sukuna looks over your head to see Yuuji standing there, the little boy probably woken up by all the movement this late at night.

"No, no one's leaving Yuuji," he said but Yuuji's eyes still filled with tears anyway and you seemed stressed as well.

"I don't know, I might have to if there's any permanent damage."

Yuuji is actually crying now and you seem on the brink too, so Sukuna holds out his arms and you both crowd in, your face now hidden in his t-shirt.

"Even if something is wrong, you'll always have a place with us. It's all going to be fine." He held both of his precious people to him, unaware that he wasn't the only one smiling. "Don't worry."

Yeah, you weren't worried.

But, maybe Sukuna should be.

this took a weirdly long time, it maybe was meant to be broken up more, but hope everyone enjoys. next up is the closing arc of my singlemom! series.

the Suguru scene was the hardest thing I've written for this page and it got way more serious than I thought it would but it was the first scene I thought of for this story.

[tobiasdrake]

hearing you call live-action sonic surprisingly conservative in your post about media moving forward felt like being shot in the heart

i mean, sonic as a character is pretty leftist. his whole deal is being free and setting people free,

beating up enemies in the game is literally breaking the shell that the animals are stuck in

Eggman was an analogy for pollution, with him destroying the environment for personal gain, and later being more of a fascist dictator

and his thing is always turning people into products, into literal machines he can control to do his labor and fight his wars, which would be every capitalist’s dream.

and so i never put the pieces together when it comes to the movie being conservative.

damn.

ouch.

could you elaborate more on it? idk, the conversation hurts but i’d like to know what your thoughts are on live-action sonic specifically

Oh, sure. We can talk about the surprisingly conservative themes and ideas of the live-action Sonic the Hedgehog films. With the caveat that this is old-school traditional conservatism, not modern nakedly fascistic conservatism. The Sonic movies are conservative in a Home Improvement sort of way, not a Lady Ballers sort of way.

What it amounts to is that Paramount approached the films not with intent to make a Sonic the Hedgehog movie but with intent to make a "relatable" story for an audience that also has Sonic the Hedgehog in it.

Have you ever seen 2019's Godzilla: King of the Monsters? A film which centers a broken family trying to connect with each other, while also there's a disaster movie happening around them? Like. Godzilla and Mothra and Ghidorah is all stuff that's happening, but what really matters here is whether this daughter can forgive her mother.

It's the of writing a low-stakes personal drama and then stapling the film premise to it. The kind of move that makes sense with something like The Day After Tomorrow where the premise is just "It got fucking cold" so the movie kinda needs something with some actual characters that it can be about.

But when it's an adaptation, it shows low confidence in the IP itself to carry a film. It says, "I don't think a Sonic movie would work, so instead I'm going to just make a movie and have Sonic in it."

And the a movie that they made centers some conservative values. But, like, old-school conservative values, not the hyper-fascistic transphobia and white supremacy and stuff you see around today. Things that were considered commonly recognized conservative values in the 80's and 90's, when white people were still supposed to believe that racism was over and all that jazz.

For one, Tom is a cop. Which is a wild choice for a film coming out at the height of BLM and ACAB. The film, as well as its subsequent sequels and spinoffs, play Tom's policing very sympathetically. A major theme of the first film is that Officer Wachowski is a vital and valuable part of his community.

There is no ambiguity; The cops are the good guys here. They're kind of wacky but we're meant to love both of them, Tom and Wade. They are, however, contrasted by the wickedness of the Feds.

Eggman, in the film, is reimagined from an industrialist to a federal agent. He represents the long arm of Big Government overreach coming for the sleepy town of Green Hill. Which is then further represented by G.U.N., who oppose Eggman once he goes rogue but are still the enemy nonetheless.

Even the Knux series still manages to be about fighting the Feds. The federal government has been the antagonist for 3 out of 3 entries thus far, when Eggman himself has only been the antagonist for 2.

The films leave the environmentalism of the original behind, instead centering family values. Rather than setting out to rescue woodland creatures from industry, Sonic has heart-to-heart chats with Tom about growing up and finding his calling. Knux isn't the guardian of Angel Island, but Sonic's adopted brother. Maddie can ground him for inappropriate behavior.

The first film also features the popular old-school conservative theme of Rural America vs. Urban America. Tom is a small-town cop who yearns for the glamour of the big city. He thinks his calling is there. But, over the course of the film, he learns to appreciate the value of small-town living and his importance to his community, and sets aside his foolish dreams of urbanity.

"I wanted to run away to the city but then learned that my Real 'Murica small hometown is where I truly belong" is probably the single most popular conservative story in decades of film and television.

It's worth noting that the film does feature an interracial marriage, which is something I hear brought up a lot as a way of saying "Actually it's not conservative because...."

But for as much credit as Maddie might warrant... There is the issue of Rachel. A character who exists primarily in the film to be a Sassy Black Woman who reacts with furious histrionics towards Tom for no apparent reason. She just. Hates him. From the bottom of her soul, despises "Relatable Cop Boy".

Like. So far as the film's concerned, it needs no explanation. Her relationship with Tom is just an eyeroll, sly glance at the camera, and "In-laws, amirite?" The second film at least gives her more to do, but the first concludes her subplot by having them tie her up and steal her car.

Like. That's it. That is what she amounts to. Maddie's sister yells sassily until she passes out and then the payoff is that they steal her car and leave her tied to a chair as... I guess her karmic retribution for being so sassy and mean to Tom? It's hard to really say whether this is mean-spirited because we do not know what her beef is. The film doesn't think we need to know. "In-laws are crazy, amirite!?"

When you set aside the cool action scenes of Sonic punching robots and look at what the films center as their emotional heart? You get a story about a small-town cop learning to appreciate his rural roots and build a family with his wife despite her unreasonably psychotic relatives, while the wicked federal government attempts to destroy their home, town, family, and way of life.

[kinopioa]

I dont think we need to take Ken penders words for anything, the man is hated for reasons beyond his bad writing. He threw ofher writers he worked with under the buss all the time. Back in the early 2000s he would get anoyyed if someone complimented another writer besides him. He once said, he did his own thing because 'Sega didn't give him much to work with" and would imply his writing made the Sonic characters deeper then in the games. Jon Gray even stated, fhe entire reason why Ken left because he couldn't do what he wanted since his unused plans would break several rules with Sonic's character, especially regarding Shadow. He's now pretending to still care about Sonic's brand because Sonic fans are the only one giving him any attention nowadays.

He is 100% a grifter, idiot, glory hog, has daddy issues, probably misses the 90s when regulation was lax as fuck

But he is unironically right regarding Flynn's parasocial involvement with the fandom. That's the only thing I care about. Given my own research on Ian, Pender's 100% right. Ian already was doing interviews 4 years before he got on Archie, and then generated more interest with the bumbleking forums, and later paid questionaire podcasts. No other writer is this directly in view of fandom opinions, and as seen in his writing, appeals directly to fan bias pretty often

The entire reason he killed Tommy, treated Cream like shit, and fucked with a stupid 5 year "There's a traitor!" with Silver is directly cuz he was mirrored fandom ire. They hated Tommy being dead weight, they hated Cream for "kiddifying the franchise", they hated Silver for being a naive guy from a bad game

I've also noticed Flynn indirectly thrived on surrounding drama of the greater fandom. 06's reception + Archie writers dropping is the only reason he got hired. Yardley's less shit art is why writing got leeway. The 2013 lawsuit causing the reboot gave him a by for "not using expanded chars" along with getting Archie noticed by the games fandom, and Lost World/Forces failing for reception led to people to look more into spinoffs

I see people randomly gas up Archie Sonic as a powerhouse or peak entirely cuz they see this scene out of context

Even though this literally happens right after. He doesn't even beat him legitimately later, he was beaten cuz suddenly his mech is ineffective to most of the FF and Ray. Fucking Ray

People further cementing "skip to issue 160" and accrediting all good writing to Ian is also grounds for creating another Penders. Sadly I think it worked

So I don't give a shit about Pender's ramblings of his "great writing" given how miniscule his impact is nowadays. The only thing of impact to the games he did was bury the idea of a Chronicles sequel, an already noncanon game. I DO care if someone effectively hired by nepotism still shows his bias and misconception for this franchise. This stance in 2008 I don't think changed given how he's been trying to sneak in Archie refs still

If not Ian, it'd be another "fan" on Twitter doing similar disregard of the games

The term "a broken clock right twice a day" is what I'd say applies to Penders for his notes on Ian. Otherwise, outside Spiderman 4 dev, he is to be ignored mostly

Well that and him dunking Krash, that was just...wow. Rare W

[sharky857]

Ten + Ten More Drifter Questions

All questions graciously borrowed from @thefreefencer's posts here and here!

As per my usual, adding a "read more" to spare the dashboard from a potentially lengthy post.

ROUND ONE!

What is that one party trick that the Drifter would show the Hex and who do you think would be the most impressed with?

Idk, fghdsjlkfshgdljk! Maybe the bottle flipping one? As for who might be more impressed, that might be Amir (watch him flip several bottles in the following days, trying to get the thing right at least once).

Would the Drifter spend more time in 1999 or 50-50 back in their own time?

Drifter Damienne instantly ended up lovestruck with 1999, so she's been spending most of her time in that timeline. She's been still visiting Operator Damienne, when "big sis" knows that "lil sis" isn't busy.

There's no missions, so what would the Drifter be doing on their free time with the Hex? Or are they loners and/or stays in their current time until they're summoned?

She would totally spend her free time gaming, with or without Amir (all depends on whether Amir's currently deployed in some mission), and also videocalling "lil sis" to chitchat and keep up with the latest news from the future/the past.

They have free time but they have an S/O, what would they be up to?

See the answer above? Yeah, that's it. Probably add a Marathon of "Warrior Queen Zasta" sprinkled with intense cuddling sessions.

Are you gonna show off your most broken Warframe builds to the Hex? (Be real, cause I would.)

Oh, Damienne totally would. She would also show the build for "Zappy", just in case some other "Zappy" techie might feel like getting a harmless, further upgrade someday.

How much of the future is Drifter gonna divulge to their new friends? Or are they straight up gonna just mention something here and there with no context whatsoever?

The timeline is probably and already royally screwed thanks to Entrati's actions, so Damienne has no qualms with divulging all she may be asked about. Unless it's something personal that might make her uncomfortable (in which case, she would make it very clear to the other part).

Well, the Hex live in a mall, so where would Drifter hunker down during their rest periods?

Uh… In the Backroom? 🤔 (She would literally know no other place)

What souvenir they're gonna abscond from 1999 and take it back to the future?

Multiple recipes for the different types of Big Bytes Pizza, the Countessa comic series, On-Lyne CD, and, in the grim probability that it's gonna be a farewell, a group picture with the Hex + the glasses on the Backroom's mannequin (they are the same worn by Amir).

There's a lot of scattered trash, drink cups, etc in the Mall, would the state the Hex live in annoy your Drifter?

Nah, but she would diplomatically try to suggest them to get a "space Roomba" to clean the place up.

If there was a choice to romance Major Rusalka, would you romance her?

Damienne would never. But Magda would totally give it a shot. 😏

ROUND TWO!

What is the one food item from 1999 that you know your Drifter would like? (Also if it's country specific, add that in if you want, I'm not from the US either) Damienne ain't a picky eater. If any Hex approached her with a personal dish (be it something from their own country of origin or simply a dish/drink they really love and want to share), she'll gladly chow/chug it down. Squared jelly spaghetti NOT included.

2. Did your Drifter finish Caliber Chicks and got the secret ending?

She did finish it, complete with secret ending, and then, like any good gamer, she set off to try and beat her own high score.

3. If you could pick any tarot card from the Major Arcana, which would your Drifter be?

*scrambles to look those cards up because has virtually zero knowledge on tarots*

I guess it is safe to say that it would be either "The Chariot" or "Strength". 🤔

4. Is your Drifter 90s fashionable or just doesn't give a damn? Explain their fashion if you want!

She loves to bits her new attire, so she's definitely 90s fashionable.

5. So, here's a hard one. The Reset happened. The Hex don't remember you. Would the Drifter do it all again or mope?

"Damienne" and "moping" are not meant to get along. Ya bet she will redo everything from scratch.

6. If two of the Hex (who and who) get into a massive squabble is your Drifter gonna:

watch it unfold with popcorn in hand

stop them and try to diplomatically try to get them to settle

join in the violence

Would depend entirely on who the Hexes are and what the squabble is about. 🤔 Like, if it's Lettie chewing anyone else's head off for whatever reason, Damienne might grab the popcorn (and watch from a safe distance).

Kaithe or Atomicycle?

Atomicycle all the way. Yes, Damienne would be capable of smugging it into Duviri.

"You thought being trampled by a speeding Depreshun Honse would hurt? Watch this, mothermuckers~ :)" (Damienne @ some Thrax soldiers as she revs Tommy's engine)

What are your Drifter's favourite 1999 trinkets?

In no particular order:

Countessa Comic (a nice alternative to "Waverider")

Big Bytes Pizza

Argon Burger Meal

Cheddar Crowns Cereal (she can simply fish them out of the box and shove a handful in her mouth, making them the perfect Gaming Snacc™️)

9. How does your Drifter celebrate Star Days with the Hex and their significant other?

In whatever way Amir would like to. All Damienne's grown to know about Star Days celebration is to just… Go into Orb Vallis, wreck some stuff to grab some debt bonds, then head back to Auntie Ticker and trade bonds for whatever goods she has in store for the event. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

How do the civilians see the Drifter? As a friendly face, a weirdo, a mystery figure that helps them out from time to time?

She would get mixed reactions, from people secretly judging her for the way she looks, to younger folks being fascinated by her hairstyle, or the "visage ink", her piercings… Not to mentioned her bubbly demeanour. Some may try and ask her some advices on how to beat a certain cabinet game, the bolder ones would even try and ask her about the future and how she can do "all those freaky things".

[slenbee]

Get In My Business Ask Game:

6, 7, 28, 76

6 - Favorite band: Green day was my first favorite band, I had all of their CDs back in high school! Now.. I don't listen to too much music of one specific genre tbh. Old 80s rock music will never get old. Meatloaf, Led Zeppelin... some 90s/2000's dance music like Bass hunter used to be good too. Tl:dr I can't pick x.x.

7 - Biggest turn off(s): Lying and deception. Dating multiple people at the same time and not telling the other person. Dishonesty. Hyper masculinity in the 'alpha', 'my shit don't stink', 'I'm always right and everyone else is wrong', way. Incels in the: obsessive, must know everything about you in an hour, I don't respect your privacy as a woman if you refuse to show me your face or send me pictures, and if you ignore me I'll kill myself, slut shame, or doxx you, way.

28 - Favorite ice cream? Private Selects Denali maximum fudge. ♥

76 - Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

Honestly, yes. Both for bad/selfish personal reasons and for reasons that wound up needing to be done because someone had the right to knowwhat was going on. Remember that above mention of "dating two people at once?" Yeah.. that was related.

Context below cut. Slight trigger warning.

Was in a online polyam relationship back in 2017. It was me, J and K for 8 months or more. I didn't know K was also seeing L until J told me they had been dating for 'the past 3 months'. J told me K had told him, that K had 'swore he told me about it and i was ok with it'. (Hint: he didnt.). I had no fking idea who L was.

I asked K who they were. Asked why he lied. Was told they were 'nobody important'. I asked why J said K and L had been dating for 3 months. K tried to play it off like 'I swore I told you about him!'

I got so fucking fed up with K, his constant lies and we broke up.

A few weeks later I figure out who L is... because they contact me.

We talk. I ask if K sent them, they are confused, say no, ask why. I explain who I am outside of my avatar/internet persona and explain the situation from start to end.

Turns out K lied to L, said J and I were emotionally abusive, using him for money and art, and had broken up with him a long time ago or something. L said that he didn't have -any- idea that all this was going on, and that he was -not- ok with it at -all.-

They broke up and L gave him a very stern verbal beat down that was honestly worth an award of some kind.

Fuck K. I resent him to this day if only because he almost made someone kill themselves over his stupid, selfish, fucking choices. And he still hasn't changed to my knowledge to this very day.

[yuaoxi]

𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 || Xiao x F!Reader

Chapter 2 - House Party

CW: drinking, venti drunk, xiao n his dad fight

Tired of his father living vicariously through him, Xiao decides to start the band he's always dreamed about. Fame and wealth never mattered to him, he'd just want to feel part and contribute to a community that'd accept a broken man like him.

Starting a band in his friend's garage, Xiao runs into a problem: there's no drummer. Thus, auditions are held to be apart of the band. Our dear bassist has little to no experience with women, so how could he deal with one joining the band? Why did she bring so much of her 'girl drama' to rehearsals, and why is his ex trying to get back into his life?

Three girls sat in a car. The icy girl in a flowy denim skirt and off white off-the-shoulder long sleeve sweater with some Mary Jane’s. The firey girl with baggy jeans, layered cropped tank tops, and her Air Forces. And, of course, you, in baggy dark shorts with a grey cropped tank top and a baggy, half-zipped hoodie, with your beat up converse. A watermelon ice scented cloud came from the passenger seat. HuTao. “So, uh, are we gonna keep sitting in here or finally go in?”

“Let’s go over the plan again,” chimed our beloved designated driver, Ayaka. “Kazuha’s here, and we most likely won't be able to avoid him-”

“By ‘we’ you mean me?”

Sigh. “Yes, Y/N, you're we. Anyways. We know he’ll somehow manage to talk to you, but we just won't let that exceed any more than a minute.”

“I don't know why I agreed to this and dragged you guys along. Maybe I just-”

“Hey! But imagine that douche’s face when he sees you talking to someone hotter than him?” Tao joked, an attempt to boost your morale, “You know he’s always been the overly jealous type.”

“I guess so. It’s just been so recent,”

5 seconds of pondering.

“you know what? You're right! We haven't gone out to party or drink since forever ago. Let’s get inside.”

“That’s our girl.” Ayaka and HuTao bumped fists as they got out of their respective seats.

Y/N looked over to the brunette and tapped her index finger and thumb together, indicating a hit from the vape. It’s not like you always smoke, just socially. Drinking? Socially, of course. Otherwise you’d be considered an addict and that's not really lady-like.

Outside, there were some kids sitting on the lawn and skating along the sidewalk, a group beside the entrance smoking cigarettes and passing a blunt around. Inside, music blasted from the speakers and some 90’s movie about a killer that asks for your favorite scary movie playing on the tv at full volume. It was so loud you basically had to talk to the person’s ear for them to hear you. The house opened up to the living room, a crowd surrounding a table where a beer pong tournament was taking place. In the kitchen, some girls were baking a cake, but it wasn't as crowded as it led out to the backyard, where the other half of the people in attendance were. The dining room had another beer pong tournament. And of course, the upstairs was basically empty, bunch of freshman girls keeping people from going upstairs. Thank Gods Ayaka is frat sweetheart, even if she doesn't really go to their parties.

The three girls got separated. Already. Record time. Thoma was in attendance and decided to lead Ayaka upstairs where he would introduce his twin friends. HuTao decided to join in on the beer pong tournament being held in the dining room, still close enough to be within eyesight of Y/N.

Taking this chance, Y/N walked into the kitchen, which wasn't as loud as the other rooms were. The girls baking the cake were using the spacious kitchen counters, leaving the bottles on the island open for use. Grabbing a red solo cup, she mixing some sort of concoction, then grabbing some soda from the fridge as a chaser.

‘Shit. Might as well get crunk tonight-’

Splash!

The girls with the cake giggle to each other as they watched the scene unfold.

“I am- I’m so- Oh, my Gods- I’m so sorry, I didn't-”

A pale hand grabbed Y/N’s wrist and a deep sigh was let out.

“It- It’s fine,” he let go of her wrist, Y/N looking up to see it was Xiao that she spilled a drink onto. “I really hated this shirt anyways.”

He reached over her and grabbed himself a water bottle, then some napkins, then just left.

‘Ugh. How embarrassing.’ Y/N thought as she grabbed some napkins to clean up the spill on the floor.

As she’s squatted down, she hears a whistle and sees a pair of brown shoes approach her. “That was a little embarrassing,” Kazuha. “are you okay?” Great.

“Yes, I’m okay. Thanks.” Refuse eye contact, avoid those red eyes you loved so dearly!

“Need some help there?” The blonde asked, grabbed some extra napkins and helped you clean the rest of the drink. ‘Accidentally’ brushing his hand against yours. “Oops. Sorry.”

You stand up over him, just looking down at him. You're still a little embarrassed over the spillage, and seeing your ex that likes to toy with you doesn't make you feel any better. He also stands up, holding the cup with the sopping wet napkins inside. Eye contact. “I’m glad you came. This party would've been boring without you.”

“Enjoy the show?” Asshole.

“Come on, Y/N. I didn't expect you to spill a drink on someone. Just thought it’d be nice to see you, you really know how to illuminate a room.”

He brought his hand towards your cheek. Of course, you pulled away, taking a step back and crossing your arms.

Then a sad smile appeared on his face, just momentarily, he glanced around the room and locked eyes with someone. Kazuha turned his attention back to you. “Let me get going. Talk again soon. I’ll take you out for a drink? Maybe dinner. I’ll text you.” Leaving the cup on the counter nearby, he threw a wink at you as he fucked off somewhere else.

You grabbed the cup, throwing it into the trash right beside you. Watching him walk up to a pretty girl. You don't really know her name, but you’ve seen her around campus. Beautiful girl, long blue hair with icy, yet gentle, eyes. She always carried a sense of elegance around with her enough that it could rival Ayaka’s. However, your friend has something she doesn't. Confidence and charisma. While their presence are on par, Ayaka was always putting herself out there and talking to anyone and everyone on campus. Might as well talk to your peers if you're on the student council. Yet, somehow, you still feel a sting in your heart.

That was never his type. He’s quiet, he’s romantic, sure. But he’s always expressed how he appreciates someone lively over someone with a personality close to his. He’s always adored your cheerfulness, the way you clap your hands whenever he gets you your favorite drink, how loud you scream on roller coasters, how you would tickle him in bed before falling asleep (despite him not being ticklish). Whatever. Past is past and now is… now. And now, you're sitting on the table, arms crossed and your head between them. One of the cake girls gave you a slice, so maybe tonight's not too bad.

“Kazuha.. That bastard!” Hutao slurred only slightly. You look up, seeing how her face had turned red. As hell. Asian glows really don't play.

“Yeah, it’s whatever. Wanna split this cake with me?” You asked, watching Hutao sit beside you.

“I do love chocolate cake.”

– Xiao POV –

One of the last places Xiao would’ve wanted to be that night would be in a garage with Venti drunk off his ass and Itto hotboxing his garage. If he was Itto’s neighbor he would've just rather move across the country.

In the room with them was also Itto’s girlfriend, Shinobu. Ganyu and Yanfei were in as well, but decided to go to other parts of the house and chill in one of the bedrooms where they kept their stuff in. Really, it was to avoid smelling like a skunk and dog shit.

“Y’know, I’m surprised your dad let you out this late. Don’t he be wanting that good quality time?”

Xiao scoffed. “All he does is bitch and moan about working with him someday if what I’m doing doesn't work out. He’s already bitched enough about me wanting to start a band and playing my guitar.”

He looked down at the cigarette between his fingers. He’s already smoked two and was debating on smoking a third one. He looked down by his chair to find his water bottle missing.

Miraculously Venti was suddenly drinking water beside him. Dumbass. Well, at least he knew better. Xiao carpooled, his only rule for Venti is for him to drink enough water so he won't vomit in the front seat again.

“I’m gonna get a water.”

“O- okay.”

Itto hacked out as more clouds escaped from his lungs, holding the bong closer to his chest so it won't slip out his hands.

Xiao slips between drunken guests, some couple is making out outside the bathroom door, and the frat guys are throwing footballs across the room. So annoying.

He enters the kitchen, also surprised on how tame it was compared to the rest of the house. Just some girls recording themselves decorating a cake with pictures and giggling after saying “smash”. Then there's someone at the fridge, a familiar silhouette in front of him but he can't quite remember who, nor does he really care on who it is.

Suddenly, Xiao feels a coldness touch his stomach and spread around. Fuck. Of course they're drunk. Xiao decided to wear some stupid graphic white tee shirt that day. He knew it was a stupid choice but he didn't really consider someone would spill a drink on him. Whatever.

“-so sorry- I didn't-”

Xiao grabbed her wrist, “It- It’s fine,” he didn't really want to deal with a conversation. Bro just wanted water. “I really hated his shirt anyways.” Truth. Some old shirt his dad got him some years ago, has some band he was somewhat into that he doesn't really care about anymore. He let go of her wrist to examine his shirt. Whatever she was gonna drink was strong and would leave a pink stain on his shirt.

His golden eyes locked in with her’s for a second.

‘Oh shittt’

Venti’s friend.

Now he’s embarrassed.

‘Better make this quick’

Xiao reached over her and grabbed his water bottle, then grabbed some napkins on the counter and quickly walked back to meet back with his friends.

Upon entering the garage, Itto bursted out into a loud laugh.

“Oh man! Did your ex get mad at you again?”

“Not this time. Venti’s friend spilled a drink on me. I don't know if she was already drunk.”

The drunkard’s ears perked up.

“Which one?”

Xiao started dabbing his shirt, trying to get as much liquid off as he could. “I forgot. She’s got [hair color] hair, about this tall.” He motioned with his hand.

“Hmm. Doesn't really ring a bell.”

Bro’s drunk as hell.

“I’ll go get you another shirt, sorry about that,” offered Shinobu. She's actually pretty decent and smart. Law major and in one of his cousins' classes. Still a surprise and why she’d end up dating Itto’s dumbass. Especially with how often he gets in trouble with the law.

Xiao checked the time on his phone. Almost 1am. He had a class early in the morning so might as well get going after he changes.

“Venti, put your shoes on. We’re heading out soon.”

“Wha- Whaat? But the night is soo young~” he slurred along.

“Awh man, already leavin’?” Itto said as he tried his best at making puppy eyes. As if a grown ass man can be cute. Cue in Shinobu with a new shirt.

The shirt was smaller than he expected; most likely Shinobu’s as Itto is a rather big guy. A little old but not raggedy. Dark grey with some restaurant logo in the front. He took off his own drenched shirt and put on the clean shirt, noticing how it fit somewhat tighter than he thought but only around the arms.

“Thank you for the shirt. I’ll see you guys later.”

Xiao said as he grabbed Venti from the back of his collar and dragged him out, throwing his wet shirt over his head.

The car ride home was mostly silent. His little friend is surprisingly the quiet type when drunk, often just stuck in his head and mumbles his conversations. So far he’s been mumbling about some cakes from a shop he's been eyeing.

“Mmm.. Soft.. Absolutely… Tiny pastries…”

It was about a 20 minute drive from Itto’s, so it wasn't long until he arrived at his house. Parking in front of the garage, Xiao walked around and opened his drunk passengers door, making sure to be quick to catch him as he was sure to fall out the seat and onto the pavement.

The area was silent, often quieting down an hour or so after sunset. Hopefully Venti would be quiet this time. Some nights he’d come home after another party and be so loud, neighbors open their windows to tell him to be quiet. Tonight, thankfully, he just let himself be dragged. The taller boy had a spare key to the drunkard’s place. His mom was the sweetest woman around, often bringing over a cake or cookies around Xiao’s birthday.

After slipping into the home and shutting the door, Xiao headed upstairs towards the bathroom. Venti hasn't thrown up yet. Maybe that’s why he's been silent. As soon as Venti felt the cold porcelain, he let everything go out. First it was just him spitting into the water, shortly afterwards it was just the dinner his mom prepared, the two small, round alcoholic bottles that were brightly blue, and lastly the endless shots from playing some drinking game with Itto.

The sober man sat on the edge of the tub, rubbing his back and moving his braids out of his face. Hopefully the water that was stolen by him would help with the hangover.

After Venti’s throw up fest, the small boy just leaned his head against the toilet seat. “Hey, what happened to your shirt?”

“Your friend spilled a drink on me. Do you not remember me telling you?”

A small wince, “No… Which friend?”

“Don't worry about it. It was an accident. Let's get you into bed.”

Flushing the toilet, Venti stood up and leaned his body weight against Xiao’s. They were about the same height, Xiao being slightly taller. And toned. Venti wasn't really big on working out, but if invited out for a hike he was sure to go.

They reached the room down the hall, opening it up and Venti being tossed onto the bed. Xiao went thru his closet and found some pj’s then threw it at his friend, who was already working on getting naked to change.

“Thank… you.” Venti’s voice slurred, as he was already getting sleepy.

“Yeah, anytime. See you later.” Xiao waved as he closed the door to his bedroom and exited his home.

Walking across the street into his house, he was hoping, praying, his dad wouldn't be awake. He’s always talking about how Xiao should stay home for more family time. But his family time is watching whatever sport team is playing, but Gods forbid Xiao speaking up during the game, don't even think about getting up to use the restroom. That’s disobedience, according to his dad. He wasn't always like that, but sometimes that's what happens when alcohol gets involved in a mourning process.

“Yer back late, ain’t’cha?”

‘Shit…’

“Yeah, just dropped off Venti. Gonna head into bed now-”

“You smell like weed. You haven't been smoking, right, son? You know you can't get a job if you smoke.”

“No. I didn't smoke. Sorry I stink, I’ll shower in the morn-”

“NO!”

His father was sitting on the dining room table, perfect view of the front door. He slammed his hands onto the table.

“You know better. You know I raised you better. To be a better man.”

God, how annoying.

“Dad, all you do at home is get drunk, while I'm your house maid. I’m tired. I don't wanna do-”

“Oh you don't wanna talk about it? Real men talk about the shit going on! You're so disrespectful!"

“Oh! I’m disrespectful? I stay home all day and I keep this place spotless. I was gone for a week and you trashed this place. You can't even work without me.”

“I’m so tired of your disrespecting. I’m a well-respected man, y’know? I put food on the table, I put clothes on your back, a roof over your head. When I was your age I still respected my father.”

“Yeah? The bare minimum? What you're SUPPOSED to do? As a decent caregiver? You barely do shit around the house. You’re just a lonely and sad man!”

“Get the fuck out of my house. You're so disrespectful, your mother would HATE-”

“She’d fucking hate YOU! You're not the man she knew anymore.”

“I said get the FUCK out of my house!”

Whatever. Whatever. Really, whatever!

Xiao knew this would've happened. It’s not the first time but it wouldn't be the last time. He’s already packed a gym bag full of extra clothes and shoes ready to ‘get the FUCK out’.

He had a carrier ready for Mila, too. He’d never leave the cat with him. His cat. While he knew his dad would never harm an animal, he still wouldn't wanna leave his cat with someone who doesn't even know how to take care of himself.

He ran upstairs and threw his bags out the window, waking Mila up to get her in her carrier. He always kept portable pet items in his trunk, just in case this happened again.

With all his bags thrown out the window, Xiao just grabbed Mila’s carrier and walked down the stairs. Avoiding eye contact with his father. Maybe he had tears in his eyes, maybe his eyes were full of anger. It doesn't matter. He didn't wanna see him again.

Stepping outside, there were some neighbors peeking outside through their curtains, others standing outside just watching the house with all the ruckus. So nosy.

He turned on his car, slipping Mila onto the passenger seat, then opening his trunk to throw in his bags. Getting his stuff settled, he started to put the car in reverse.

Just then, his dad ran out the house.

“Son! Xiao! Son, please. Please come back inside, I’m sorry-”

He pounded on his door window, which only motivated Xiao to reverse faster out the driveway and speed off down the street. Must've been like 2am now and he doesn't really have enough to stay at a motel for a few days.

Shit.

Then a sudden, definitely dumb, idea popped into his head.

“Don't worry girl, I’ll keep you safe.”

Xiao cooed at the cat, who responded with a meow and purrs.

He decided to head back to Itto’s.

Hopefully the party is still going on. It was only still picking up speed when he first left anyways.

Pulling up to the street, of course the party was still going on. Somewhat. There were still people but it wasn't too loud anymore. Most of them left already as the street was mostly cleared out. He grabbed Mila’s carrier and walked up to the door. Passing by a girl crying and being comforted by her friends, guess she had a shitty night. Makes both of us.

Entering the home once again, most of the people in attendance were passing a blunt across the room, completely ignoring the couple in the corner making out.

One of the girls that was in the blunt rotation noticed Xiao. She was in his class the semester prior. A regular at Itto’s parties as well. They weren't friends but they were project partners at some point so I guess they were on friendly terms. “Oh, hey Xiao! Itto’s in the kitchen.” She said, waving at him, then turning back to her group as it was her turn to take another hit from a blunt being passed around.

He nodded his head towards her as a thanks then turned around the corner to head towards the kitchen.

“Hey-hey-hey! Look who’s finally back!” Itto’s voice boomed, as he took a sip from his beer can. Shinobu was nowhere to be seen. Probably headed to bed already. “Whatcha got there in that lil cage?”

“Uh, my cat. Mila. She’s friendly,” Xiao raised her carrier to be in view of Itto, watching his face soften at the sight of a beautiful cat. Patches of black and orange surrounding her face, whereas most of her body was white with the same patches decorating her. Itto automatically leaned over, sticking his finger in to pet her.

“Hey, man, this is really embarrassing. And no hard feelings if you say no, but would it be possible if I could crash here for a few days?”

“Venti told me a bit about your dad. I’m assuming this gotta do with that, huh?”

Slow, shameful nod.

“Yeah, no prob. This was my granny’s house before she left. Lottsa rooms upstairs. Pick any one you’d like, only two ocupado are the two on the right side of the hallway.

Thank fuck.

“I really appreciate this, man. I’m sorry I just pulled up with this.”

“It’s cool man. The more the merrier.” Itto said, shooing Xiao along to get his stuff set.

And of course, Xiao headed upstairs to pick out a room. Which ended up having a window that viewed the front yard. He set Mila on the bed, opening her cage to allow her to roam the room and stretch.

After various trips going up and down the stairs and just throwing his bags in front of the closet, he threw himself onto the bed and sighed. Four fuzzy legs walking above his chest and plopping herself down, with purrs filling the room.

Everything will be fine.

prev. chapter ⤌ masterlist ⤍ next chapter

[not---meat]

Paradise: Chapter 12: Falling To Pieces

Pairing: Javier Peña x McKenzie Martel

Rating: A - Adult

Warnings: Angst, domestic violence, domestic abuse

Summary: Javier takes Kenzi home.

Note: I apologize in advance for any historical inaccuracies. We are in the mid to late 90's now woooo. Officially after the events of season 3 of Narcos!

MASTERLIST --- PARADISE MASTERLIST

Steam rose from the coffee cup between her hands. A mind so troubled, it drifted away from her, wandering off into the depths of her being as shye waited for him to speak. To say something. Anything. McKenzie knew the peril that he was facing. She had seen it on his face the moment he saw her. The way that he reacted when she winced away from his touch.

They sat in silence for a while, his eyes scanning over her, taking in the bruises, taking in the split in her lip and her tear stained cheek.

"I don't understand, Kenz." He whispered, "How did you let it go this far?"

The emotion in his voice told the story of the heartbreak he felt. Seeing her this way was hurting him and she knew it. She knew that, if she were a better person, she shouldn't have called. At the end of the day, though, he was still her person. Her Cradle to Grave. There was nobody else that she could call.

"Kenz…" He spoke again, reaching out to her, touching her hand and trying to grab her attention. "Kenz, it's okay. I've got you."

Slowly, ever slowly, her eyes flickered to him, flickered about his face. Somehow Javier still looked the same. Somehow he had left and come back the same as she remembered. Yet there was something different in the way that he spoke to her. Something deeper, more compassionate. More caring. As if his words had more meaning to them.

Tears rolled from her eyes and she looked out the window of the diner once again. There was nothing that she could say, no explanation to be made.

"I love her." McKenzie spoke, her voice soft, broken and cracking, "I love her and… I - I thought she loved me."

Deep brown eyes filled with emotion stared over at her, meeting hers when they flickered back into his direction. Javier didn't say another word. A sigh passed his lips as he pulled out his wallet and left money on the table. He stood from his spot and walked over to her, offering her his hand.

"Come on, hermosa, let's take you home." Javier spoke, taking her hand into his. She stood, looking up at him with wide eyes. "To the ranch. Not to her. I won't let her hurt you again, Kenz. Never again. I made a promise to be there and I'm going to be there."

Kenzi opened her mouth to argue but Javier stopped her, shaking his head. He led her back to the truck, helping her into the passenger seat.

There was silence when they sat in the truck together. The both of them recalling the emotions, the memory of the last time she was sat beside him. The rain feeling too familiar to the both of them as it pinged off the cab of the truck.

Like a brutal reminder of the past. A horrific scene that brought them back to when she walked away from him.

Please don't leave me like this.

You don't have to love me back.

White knuckles folded around the steering wheel, hardly moving as he drove down the road. The radio played a song that Kenzi didn't recognize. Something about being broken. Kind of perfect. Not a word was spoken, letting the soft guitar ring out between them. Javier seemed to know the song, his grip on the steering wheel relaxing slightly as he tapped along to the beat of the gentle tune.

Kenzi just stayed quiet, occasionally glancing his way as he drove down the pavement road leading to the ranch. It was Javier who spoke first, ending the silence between them with a barely audible, low whisper that was almost drowned out by the sound of the rain pinging against the cab of the truck.

"I'm sorry."

He didn't look at her, his gaze still fixed ahead of him as he leaned back in his seat.

"This is my fault. I shouldn't… Fuck. I shouldn't have left. I should have fought for you." Javier breathed, finally looking over at her, sadness reflecting in his big, brown eyes. "I'm sorry, Kenz. I'm so fucking sorry."

Words escaped her. Instead of saying a word, Kenzi just closed her eyes. She leaned against the seat and breathed out. The throbbing in her eye had gotten worse.

She just wanted to sleep. She just wanted to forget. The events of the night having taken their toll, McKenzie just wanted to curl up and let her dreams take over.

Noticing her silence, Javier let out a sigh. He unlocked the truck doors and slid out, shutting the door behind him. As Kenzi pulled off her seatbelt and moved to open the door, Javier was already there, opening the door for her, offering her his hand to help her out of the truck. Doing the things he had always done before but now they seemed like they meant more. Like he meant more.

It almost felt as though his touch had gotten more tender, as if the reasoning behind his actions meant more than they did before. Or maybe McKenzie was reading too deeply into it. At the end of the day his actions hadn't changed. Javier had always opened the door for her. He had always taken her hand and helped her out of the truck. This wasn't a new thing and yet, for reasons unknown to Kenzi, it felt like it meant more now. More loving. More tender. It wasn't just a friendly touch anymore. It was something more.

Unspoken words that, had they been revealed long ago, could have changed the trajectory that their lives had taken and yet now they just hurt. Broken hearts. Broken friendships. Yet Javier was still there, still keeping up his promise. Kenzi still called him even though she knew she had no rights to do so. Javier still showed even though he knew he had no rights to still love her.

But he did. He still loved her and she still loved him.

Not that it mattered anymore. Not that any of it mattered anymore. Too much had happened now and Kenzi wasn't in the right state of mind to let anything else happen. She hadn't spoken. She didn't know what to say.

Wordlessly, Javier led Kenzi into the house. He led her through the front door and helped pull her jacket off of her. He hung it up to dry and held her hand as she stepped out of her shoes. Kenzi watched him, noticing the small things he did. Noticing the way he made sure that her shoes were set to the side to dry, that the shoelaces were undone so they didn't crust up and dry in the tied position that they were in. She noticed how gentle his touch was when he led her throughout the house, walking past Chucho without a sound, knowing that a conversation with him could happen later.

Javier led her to his bedroom and let her sit on the edge of the bed. He kneeled in front of her and helped her out of her soaked jeans, tossing them into the hamper. Not a word was spoken between them. Not a sound made. He did everything she needed him to do, even helping her get into some of his pajamas.

All Kenzi could do was watch, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. How was it that she deserved him? After all that he had done, after all that she had done, after all of the bitter words and hatred passed between the two of them. How was it that he still cared for her?

Almost as if he had read her mind, Javier took her hand in his. He reached forward and ever gently wiped her tears with her thumb, smearing the wetness across her cheek and being careful not to allow the salty tear to touch the cut over the bone.

"I care about you, McKenzie. Nothing has changed. You're still the person I care about the most." Javier whispered to her, squeezing her hand gently. "You need to sleep, Kenz. Get comfortable, okay?"

He stood from the bed, glancing back at her before leaving the room. All Kenzi did was stare, her eyes flickering around his bedroom. Frames pictures of his life scattered about the walls and the surfaces, almost all of them including her. Smiling faces and shimmering eyes. Life was simpler then. Easier. Out of them all, though, one stood out the most.

Without even thinking about it, Kenzi stood and walked to his dresser, picking up the picture that she didn't even know existed. It was of them, of course, sitting in Chuchos livingroom.

A box of pizza in front of them, his arm around her, her head on his shoulder, with Javier looking up as Kenzi sat with her eyes closed.

"That was the night after grad." Javiers voice rang through the doorway, a glass of water in his hand. "We had just gotten back from the grad party. Your date had ditched you so I spent the night with you listening to music. You were drunk and falling asleep. I had to carry you to bed."

Kenzi nodded slowly, setting the picture frame back down where she found it. "I barely remember that night."

"I know."

"I didn't know this picture was taken."

Javier chuckled, the hint of a smile on his lips, "I know that, too. You were falling asleep. Chucho took it. We got some old films processed and… well there it is." Javier handed her the glass of water and an ibuprofen, "For your head. I don't doubt its going to hurt and swell tomorrow. I can take you to the clinic tomorrow."

Kenzi took the pill and popped it in her mouth, she used the water to wash it down and handed him the empty glass. "Thanks. I should… probably go home tomorrow, though. I don't want to make things worse than they already are."

Javier frowned slightly, clearing his throat. "Why don't you sleep on it, Kenz. We can talk about it tomorrow. Do you… need anything else?"

"No. No I should be alright, thank you." McKenzie offered him a small smile before making her way back over to the bed. She sat down on the edge of it, wrapping her arms around herself as she stared up at Javier. "Are you sure you're okay with me sleeping in here? I… I don't mind sleeping on the couch."

Javi pursed his lips slightly, shaking his head. He walked over to her and lifted her chin with his finger. "You get sleep. You need sleep. You've never slept on the couch here and tonight is not the day that you will start. You sleep in the bed. No arguments."

McKenzie stared up at him for a minute, eyes flickering about his face as she took in his words. "Okay." She whispered, "Okay. Just… Get rest. Get good rest."

Javier smiled softly, gently booping her nose before pulling away. He walked over to the door and leaned against the doorway for a moment, looking in at McKenzie as she slid onto the bed and pulled the blanket over herself.

"Cradle to Grave, Kenz." He murmured, flicking of the light, "No matter what."

NEXT CHAPTER

[warsamongthestars]

"Your characters are defined by their stories, and the story is defined by the characters' actions." - Stephen Koch, Writer

If Homestuck has taught me anything about story analysis (and you know the red flag is up the moment i mention mother-lovin' Homestuck), is that there are four fundamental elements to a story: The setting, the characters, the plot and the pacing.

And they aren't just singular, walled off elements either--a character can have all four (Setting equals Aesthetic, Plot equals the story that defines them, Pacing equals how long their personal story beats either need or last).

A character often needs all four.

If you've seen My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, or the 1984's Transformers, or any number of animes (Fullmetal Alchemist, Soul Eater, My Hero Academia), or superheroes either comics or shows (Superman, Batman, Teen Titans, Xmen, Spiderman)...

... Those are examples of characters embodying all four basic elements of story telling.

The stories they're involved in also contain all four. The character of a story is often the genre and message or various messages it produces, as well as the rules it follows. The aesthetic of the story is the style, and the setting is the locale, the tools and vehicles, the buildings, ecctra. Then there's the pacing, both the beats the story takes, as well as the basic structure of Beginning-Middle-End. And the plot is the action taken and the recognizable pattern of the story.

[ pointed subject matter below--for my general audience, you know what its gonna be at this point. ]

A step by step analysis requires its own posting, and I don't have the feckin energy for that right now.

And simply sum up, this is why parody 1 hour-something-minutes film Galaxy Quest from the 90s? Outpaces 3 years of the Bad Batch by miles.

Galaxy Quest dedicates its time to taking character seriously, no matter the circumstance. This has elevated the film from its presumed parody-of-star-trek status, straight into "generally accepted as part of Star Trek lore".

Things happen because our characters are flawed, out of their depth, and shenanigans happen for reasons that are obvious and unassuming in view of the audience, and facing threats that out of their league, but manage to succeed.

The Bad Batch, however, adds Nothing to Star Wars. The character that was developed throughout the Clone Wars (Which did add considerably to star wars lore), was effectively broken down in the Bad Batch narratively.

"Things happen because imaginarium". Things happen because the plot wants it, and in the process, destroys the character.

The Bad Batch, in this instance, follows parody rules.

Where there is no character, but plenty of plot. Plot in this case, is less identifying story-patterns and action--and more "the narrator wanted this character to be here and that's why they're there". There is a logic, but its only general story logic, and does not follow the characters at all.

Thus, the Bad Batch is a Parody, but one that lacks normally expected Comedic Elements. There are plenty of comedic elements, in the form of one liners and strawmen and straightmen, but for the most part, all are serious action based Parody.

Characters is effectively destroyed, for the wants of its paid authors, and it is purely plot-driven. Things happen, because. Now many people have give their all in finding out the Because, and those are very interesting Becauses--but the story doesn't give a because.

( I can give my own Becauses, but those are mine, and the story needs to stand on its own without them, and it Doesn't. )

When it comes to character driven story telling, the plot is the goal of the characters. (The story ending is simply where the author simply deems it the point where one adventure of many simply ends for this viewing--the goal doesn't necessary need to be achieved, think short term long terms goals, but simply the act of reaching it).

Now a simple story, a character can simply go from point a to point be without trouble. What makes the story complex, is the shenanigans that get in the way. Sometimes reasonable, given backdrop, other times, absolutely silly because predicting reality is a farce.

The general Goal of the author is not relatability, though you are free to make it one, but merely the entertainment of themselves and the audience. After all, if you aren't entertained, you won't pick up the pen to write, and you won't pick up the book to read.

Depending on who your audience is, (and your first audience should always be You, You're makin' the fuckin thing--put out what you want to see), will depend on the level of reasoning in the work on what goes on the story, as well as the level of shenanigans, hijinks and seriousness taken.

And when it comes to the Bad Batch, its clear that the targeted Audience is actually not us, but Disney Corporate and Executives.

( Keep that in mind, when it comes to flighty subscription services and their snarky horseshit. )

[sonicreducer-band]

Lachlan's album of the week 10/02/2025

Bailter Space - Wammo

Bailter space, the enigmatic three piece hailing from Christchurch, New Zealand, formed in the late 80s,had a sound akin to american and english Counterparts, Sonic Youth, and the Jesus mary Chain. Throughout their time in the late 80’s to early 90’s, Bailter space produced a litany of records, from  1988s hi-gain explosion “Tanker” to the harmonic rich “Thermos”. Bailter Space spread their wings in the world of noise rock, showing every which corner they could delve into. Their repertoire culminated into 1995s “Wammo” a 40 minute album touching on every beat that they had previously hit, harmonically rich with newfound recording techniques, diving into new depths of distorted experimentation, along with refreshingly clean and deceptively structured songs. Running like a thought process through your head, the repetitive lyrics sing out in each bar, constantly giving you something to grasp to and hold, whilst distorted, overdriven guitars swell around you and pounding rhythms push the music further and further. The album shows a beautiful palette of songs, ranging from the well paced tempo and slow strummed guitars of “splat”, to the driving, haunting and crushing rhythm of “at five we drive”, which pulses and pushes you forward along a twisted road of feedback and hypnotic rhythm. It shows somber moments, like the soft spoken lyrics of “glimmer”, and cracked, broken, disembodied riffs on ��voltage”. Wammo is a broad album, reaching all points of noise rock, from the dissonant sounds of early No-wave, the detuned harmonic tones of Sonic Youth, screeching feedback of Jesus mary chain, and the guitar heavy volume of Swervedriver. It is a display of everything that Bailter Space had built from the late 80s, and sits in time as an important piece of 90s noise rock, its harsh, yet gripping and captivating. Wammo has everything a noise album should hold, and flaunts it with pride.

[96crewlove]

okay final "duh!" review ⭐️

duh!: okay i will admit i did not get her at first smth about it seemed all over the place to me upon the first listen but idk i like it now ctfuuuu

like i looooveee modern songs that sound like older songs are you joking me and p1 delivered that 90s rap/hip-hop realness in duh! like i can't complain the beat was so good i just wish it was louder i need the speakers broken you can't gatekeep that shit AT ALL BROTHERRR

pretty boy: i thought this was gonna be my fav song off the album but i realized i just fuck so severely w the pre-chorus and verses the most like if the chorus was as sexy as the rest of the song it would've been a 10 but ah alas 😔

fentywaysss 🧚🏾‍♀️✨ seriously get this into the strip clubs immediately it's such a sexy song that beat is killerrrr

murmur: this song didn't hit for me thaaaat much but i always appreciate a diss track even if this one was kinda weak?? (look okay i grew up on tupac-biggie, dmx, eminem, etc. and NOW FAWKING BTS/rapline okay this was a weak diss track i do not tell lies) like they should've been allowed to curse or SMTH .

the chorus is a'ight tho.

flashy: FOB REALNESS AHHHH!!! another superhero theme track from p1 like yaaassss they usually eat up that genre!! once again i need the instrums LOUDER like PLEASEEEE BUST MY SPEAKERS AND EARDRUMS

but yes this track reminded me so much of "my songs know what you did in the dark (light em up)" by fob and a couple of other songs/artists like that i can't really think of right now but yeah pretty good track 👍🏾👍🏾

over and over: SONY BITCH IF YOU DONT HIRE P1HARMONY FOR THE NEXT MILES MORALES MOVIE-

GET KPOP IN THE MOVIES NOBODY GIVES A FUCK.

work: my fav song from the album 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ this was the late 2000s/2010s trashy party pop kesha-charli xcx mashup i never knew i needed like "365 party girl" but with they're boys .... like they did that and once again the beat was very fire like the clunkiness of rapid beat switches worked so well for this track i throughly enjoyed like you can strut and shake ass to this ykw get this in the clubs too lololol

OVERALL the album was a decent listen for me, i wished p1's beats were louder idk something about the instrums aren't as impactful as their voices but idk this might just be a me thing not entirely sure cause my volume was kinda low while listening lolol

duh! and work carried the album for me and pretty boy would've made it if the chorus was better likeee 😩😩 i'm so mad the song is soooo good but one of my top music assessment criterias is that the chorus needs to be a BANGER like choruses are so so important and line repetition can work depending on the track but pretty boy deserved a bit more creativity like the rest of the track had

maybe i'll give "duh!" (album) a high 6?? like 6.7/8?? the beats throughout were fire tho, a 9/10 for that frrrr.

[aotopmha]

I beat Sonic Generations.

This game has some absolutely fantastic level design.

There were completely distinct routes I found in these stages I didn't ever remember seeing despite having played the game to bits around the time of its initial release.

I'm super impressed with the lower routes in particular. Some of them are incredibly elaborate.

I think Modern Sonic's Sky Sanctuary, Seaside Hill and City Escape stood out to me/impressed me the most.

Among several Sonic games I've played recently, I've also played a lot of Sonic Adventure 2 and as much as I adore the speed stages in that game, the "alternate routes" in those stages are often just really satisfying shortcuts to take (which Generations also has); the lower and higher routes in Sky Sanctuary Act 2 for example, however, are straight-up distinct sections of the level.

The lower route is a moderately difficult platforming challenge and the higher route is a reaction-based shortcut, which is a pretty common reward for the mastery of Generations' controls.

It's in these latter instances where you feel the flaws of the 3D controls the most, though.

Eventhough I felt they were better than I remembered, they still were not quite there when it came to precision.

Now that I have both fresh in mind, I think SA2 and Sonic Gens really do sort of have opposite issues when it comes to controls.

SA2 has an incredibly messy moveset. The homing attack often doesn't target accurately and the moveset mapping itself caused many of my deaths, as some moves are assigned to the same button, yet trigger at the wrong time.

Wanted to Lightspeed Dash? Bounce to your death instead!

While in comparison, I think Sonic Gens doesn't have as responsive base movement. Jumping and boosting have a very specific delay added to inputs at high speeds especially; precise movements at higher speeds are much harder to make because of the slippery nature of higher speed controls, as well.

It "makes sense" for higher speed to be harder to control, but the lower and higher speed controls do not mesh as well as I think they should, either. You're either pretty slow or immediately moving on ice skates.

Despite these flaws, unlike many truly bad games with truly broken controls, these two have a certain consistency and a strong foundation to them that I think is satisfying to learn/master and this is where a massive part of the fun of Sonic games comes in: mastering/perfecting the stages.

My initial goal going into the game was to get S-ranks in all main stages, rival battles and bosses. I managed it with all except two: Planet Wisp Modern and the Silver rival battle.

Planet Wisp Act 2 is just tedious and I didn't feel like replaying it to get the S-rank as of now.

The Silver battle, however, has a very particular issue to me: I can't seem to be able to close in on him during his 2D car attack no matter what I do, which means I have to wait for a very long time to get a hit in, which in turn cost me ranks.

I don't know if it's a bug, but I've seen literally no footage of Silver not being able to be attacked in the 2D section. Boosting and homing attacking should work, but it just doesn't seem to for me.

Other than these two, the S-ranks in Generations are incredibly easy. 90% of the time just not dying will get you the S-rank and I'm kind of underwhelmed they're earned so easily.

I've spent hours upon hours trying to A rank the stages in SA2 and when you finally get one in that game, it really feels like an achievement, something you've truly earned; I really hope they'll go back to that philosophy of a really difficult top rank because of it feeling so earned because as said above, that kind of struggle to perfect stages is a big part of the fun in these games.

Since I've recently also played the Sonic Advance series, I want to bring up Classic Sonic, as well, although, this is very much also related to my above point about Modern Sonic level design in that I'm really grateful most of the time failure leads to tougher gameplay sections rather than bottomless pits.

Bottomless pits and cheap enemy and hazard placement took a lot of enjoyment out of Sonic Advance 2 and 3 for me because it simply really undermined the satisfaction of mastery. With bad level design you do poorly for reasons not in your control.

And the Classic Sonic stages in this game are a great example of 2D Sonic level design because of this.

They are much more linear/set and a lot less sprawling than most actual Classic Sonic stages, but the 2D platforming within that linearity is still really fun to do and varying paths still exist within that linearity.

It also helps the stages have some really cool/fun set pieces.

The clock tower with the actual clock in Rooftop Run? The goalpost taken away by the torando in Crisis City? The truck in City Escape?

Classic Sonic is also pretty far from classic game control, but is still really fun in its own right with its super-power spindash and its own version of badnik bouncing.

Next, I want to bring up the bosses.

I'm torn between Egg Dragoon and Perfect Chaos being my favourite boss fights in Generations. The former is just a great Eggman fight, with very little downtime and satisfying hits and the latter is just a great reimagining of an iconic fight which originally basically had no substance; Generations turns a basically glorified cutscene into a full-fledged, substantial platforming stage and it's really cool.

Just like the (popularly) obvious Planet Wisp stages are the worst stages in the game, Time Eater is the obvious worst boss in the game; in fact I think probably worst level because at least you did something in all of the other stages while you mostly just sit around doing nothing for most of the Time Eater fight.

I'm so happy I S-ranked it on my first go, since I now have very little reason, if any, to revisit it.

In general, I really did enjoy all of the bosses outside of Time Eater, the rival battles especially were much more substantive than the usual homing attack spam fights you tend to have in the earlier 3D games, even if they still were fairly straight-forward.

To sum it up, Sonic Generations is still as great as I remember it being; I might even like it better now because the level design is just that good; this extends to all of the boss fights.

The controls are imperfect, but not to the point they start ruining the fun.

As I got deeper into the game I did encounter a few bugs here and there (like a possible strange one with the Silver fight), but in a bigger picture sense, Sonic Generations is also a fairly polished game.

I left out music, graphics and story above because I feel like I don't have much substantive to say about them. I think the environments look great, most of the remixes/music pieces are wonderful (except Planet Wisp Classic, that one doesn't sound that great to me) and I'm fairly indifferent to any story changes outside of a couple of lines coming across as strange.

Do I recommend it?

Yes! And I think I would recommend it to anyone who likes platformers (or even doesn't and just generally likes games). I think it's a great way to see if you'd like the series.

Now, looking forward to the Shadow part of Sonic X Shadow Generations (really awkward naming, as many have also pointed out). It plain just looks really good in terms of gameplay from the footage.

[fuckmeyer]

"disturbed, depressed, inadequate": Edward Cullen & George Costanza, cringefail twinsies

as we all know, Twilight and Seinfeld are canonically set in the same universe. we see blatant clues scattered throughout both series. (e.g., Stephenie Meyer prefacing New Moon with the entirety of Jerry Seinfeld's opening stand-up from season 4's "The Outing;" Jerry making a Twilight reference in "The Soup" episode of Seinfeld, etc.) most notably, we see Edward Cullen & George Costanza's personalities mirror each other in a way that extends far beyond "pure" "coincidence." upon closer examination, they are the same person in parallel universes.

the two are, canonically, absolute losers seemingly broken beyond repair, self-saboteurs who waffle between moments of self-aggrandizement and self-loathing. their negative self-image, insecurities, & belief that they do not deserve love are recurring themes in their respective series.

among other things, George describes himself as "disturbed, depressed, inadequate," ("The Visa," S04) "completely insecure, paranoid, [and] neurotic" ("The Beard," S06). he is the self-proclaimed "Lord of the Idiots" ("The Apartment," S02) who is sure of only one thing: "There is no bigger loser than me" ("The Strike," S09).

in the Twilight Saga, Edward repeatedly calls himself "selfish" & a "monster." in Midnight Sun, he's a "coward" (37), "evil" (374) & an "obsessed stalker" (94). clearly depressed in the way he describes his "long melancholy" (138) as "an unending, unchanging midnight" (136), he quickly pinpoints the feelings behind his hatred for Bella: "What I really hated was myself" (26). his distaste for Mike Newton & jealousy of Jacob Black stem from his insecurity, while his paranoia has him assuming, among other things, that a meteor will crash down & bonk Bella out of existence (131). Edward's telepathy has him always on the alert for intruders, resulting in baseless conclusions. "Idiot," Rose calls him (97, 129, 145, 202, 314). idiot, indeed.

Edward & George's low self-esteem compel them to lie, unable to live up to the perceived expectations of others. after Edward saves Bella from a car accident, he lies to her to keep her away. "I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play—I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel" (MS, 90). beyond shielding her from his true nature, he is shielding her from a deeper truth: "I didn't deserve any link, any claim to her at all" (728). that is, Edward does not consider himself worthy of Bella's love. he even point-blank admits it to her at prom: "I'm not worth it." (782)

George, too, struggles to live up to assumed perceptions: “You see, this is what I do with women. I start out too strong, now I have to become real. That's when it all falls apart. What good is real?" ("The Visa," S04) like Edward, he engages in deceptive tactics throughout the series to keep his partners at arm's length, from creating falsehoods about himself to preventing his fiancée from fraternizing with his friends & entering his world. ("The Pool Guy," S07) Edward, more succinct, sends Bella the same message in New Moon: "My world is not for you." (37)

in fact, one of the few traits George & Edward possess that is not negatively regarded is their ability to lie. Edward's declaration that "I was not an incompetent liar" (MS, 77) seems an understatement when, not 10 pages later, he says, "Perhaps I was too good a liar if I could fool Carlisle" (85). he claims to feel guilty; then again, Bella often notes him lying outright or by omission in the series.

"I lie every second of my life," George brags in season 2's "The Apartment." "My whole life is a sham." other characters acknowledge & praise this ability. in the episode "The Beard" (S06), Jerry begs George to help him beat a polygraph test, calling his ability "a gift." just as Edward dramatizes his lying to "putting on a show," George likens his talent to singing opera: "It's like saying to Pavarotti, 'Teach me to sing like you.'" the advice he gives Jerry aptly sums up George's philosophy: "It's not a lie if you believe it." how fitting that this is the mindset Edward employs to stay in Bella's life a little longer.

George & Edward's relationships not only showcase their ability to lie but follow similar paths. George faces Edward's exact dilemma: the choice to deny his nature (to the point of becoming vegetarian!) for an attractive woman in "The Secretary" episode of season 6. "You're luscious," he says to a beautiful applicant for an open secretary position. "You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra." George chooses not to hire the attractive secretary... but ends up sleeping with his 'unattractive' secretary anyway. Edward, meanwhile, does the opposite: he chooses vegetarianism and to date the object of his affection, albeit with personal turmoil. where Edward chooses to be the man, George chooses to be the monster.

unsurprisingly, however, their low self-esteem is a frequent barrier to their romantic pursuits. these insecurities even lead them to preemptively decide to break up with their significant other. in George's case, the breakup in season 3's "The Pez Dispenser" is a means for him to protect himself & regain control:

“A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity.”

Edward seemingly breaks up with Bella to protect her. he knows he will leave her by page 368 of Midnight Sun. by page 746, he admits he's lying when he swears he won't leave her. "[T]he time would come, I was sure now, when I would have to convince her [I didn't want her]" (747). best-case scenario, he thinks, she will outgrow him (781), though it's clear she intends on forever. despite the evidence from Alice that Bella will be a catatonic mess, he leaves...several months later, after a near-fatal brush with Jasper. one might argue Edward's fear of love & intimacy leads him to break up with her as a means to protect himself from the harsh reality that she will die.

ultimately, George & Edward's failures in physical & emotional intimacy are rooted, at least in part, in an aversion to sex.

for both, the desire to feed presents a barrier to their lovemaking. Edward is unable to prolong his kisses with Bella, citing his thirst. he compares himself to "an alcoholic" & Bella to "a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac..." (Twilight, 13). similarly, in season 9's "The Blood," George finds he is always hungry around his partner & can't make love to her without eating. his attempt to introduce strawberries, chocolate sauce, & pastrami on rye into the bedroom snowballs into him sneaking sandwiches into bed. though George, unlike Edward, can satiate himself without murdering his girlfriend, his desire to feed still leads to his demise.

this aversion to sex extends beyond a conflict with their baser selves, however. we see George & Edward's insecurities & low self-esteem take a central role in their inability to engage in intimate relations.

“I don't like when a woman says, ‘Make love to me,’" says George in season 3's "The Stranded." "It's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.”

this quote perfectly encapsulates Edward & Bella's wedding night. despite being intimidated by Bella's demand for sex, Edward acquiesces. upon discovering he bruised Bella, Edward confirms his worst fears, calls himself a monster, and says: "I'm...so sorry, Bella. [...] I am more sorry than I can tell you" (Breaking Dawn, 61). he then promises, "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again." (66)

oddly enough, the bleak outlook Edward takes on his sex life (i.e., not possible (Twilight, 147) & unrealistic (Eclipse, 299)) mirrors George's feelings re: sexual intimacy in "The Pony Remark" (S02):

“You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur.”

is this aversion to intimacy with women a product of George & Edward being queer-coded characters? even if Edward didn't worship the ground on which Carlisle "the soul of [the] family" (MS, 96) walked to the point where he hopes his face resembles Carlisle's "perfect" one (24, 387), he constantly thinks of his creator & tries to live up to Carlisle's perception of him (28, 347, 383, 387). this seems innocuous enough until we consider the fact that the vampire genre itself has queer roots. vampires have always served as a symbol for social outcasts; homosexual depictions, from the 1872 novel Carmilla to the 2020s reboot of Interview with a Vampire, are a common feature of the genre. through this lens, the virginal Edward Cullen pushing away his heterosexual partner while he envisions Carlisle's face takes on different connotations.

George, deeply in denial of his sexuality, upholds odd "rules" to avoid being seen as gay, from refusing to sit "boy-boy-girl" in a car ("The Ex-Girlfriend," S02), to reminding Jerry of his "unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality" before declaring Jerry's new jacket "fabulous." (his singing show tunes throughout "The Jacket" (S02)  still earns him the title of gay by another character, however.) he frequently goes into a gay panic: from being called out on his attraction to Jerry ("The Cartoon," S09), to being accused of falling in love with his friend Tony ("The Stall," S05), to being explicitly labeled as Jerry's romantic partner in season 4's "The Outing," he responds to challenges to his heterosexuality with anger, anxiety, dismay, & denial. he even shouts "IT [his penis] MOVED!" in response to being touched by an attractive male masseuse ("The Masseuse," S05). regardless of whether George may be gay or bisexual, George's record of "staunch heterosexuality" seems not as "unblemished" as he would like us to believe.

given all the similarities, one might think the biggest difference is their species: Edward is a mindreading vampire and George is a human. but George does note having an advanced sense of perception akin to Edward's telepathy: "I was personable, I was bright. [...] I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party" ("The Opposite," S05). additionally, while George may not be a literal vampire, he does have a parasitic nature. cheap & selfish, he frequently mooches off his friends & leaves them footing the bill. he also lies & manipulates for his own gain, including but not limited to faking a disability to have access to his own private bathroom at work ("The Butter Shave," S09), setting up a fake charity to avoid buying Christmas presents for his coworkers ("The Strike," S09), & falsifying statements to extend his unemployment benefits ("The Boyfriend, Part 1," S03). leeching off of others & the community is a hallmark of vampirism.

ultimately, the uncanny parallels between these two characters are impossible to ignore. George & Edward seem indeed the same person mirrored into different universes. so, what does this say about their creator(s)? this "coincidence" naturally begs the question: Are Jerry Seinfeld and Stephenie Meyer the same person? in Part 2 of this essay, we expl—

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 070 - The Corruption of Archer

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 3 Episode 19 - Damage

Continuing right on from where we left off, our crew is in a rather dire position. I think this is the most damage that Enterprise has taken, at least outside of Alter timeline quantum parasite shenanigans. But suddenly: The Xindi withdraw for reasons unknown. My first thought was that Archer had given over the information the Xindi wanted, but after the intro it turns out the Xindi Council had ordered it. They've also arranged to take Archer out of the Reptilians hands. It would appear Archer's gambit of Degra has payed off.

Meanwhile on Enterprise, all hands are on Deck to make repairs. The Warp engines are destroyed, so they have to limp away from Azati Prime on Impulse. I love how broken the ship feels here. Sparks are flying, debris is everywhere, the medical bay is full. The ship really does feel like it's taken a beating.

Instead of being transported to the Xindi council however, it appears the Aquatic Xindi have been ordered to take Archer back to Enterprise. It would also appear however, that T'Pol is succumbing to the effect that Trellium D has on the Vulcans. The show choses to bring it into focus right way, but even afterwards, T'Pol's actress is amazing having it's effect subtly come through in her performance in later scenes that don't focus on it. We also learn later that this was less the direct effects of exposure to Trellium D, but rather it seems she's becoming addicted to it. A drug addiction allegory seems like it's come out of nowhere, but I'm willing to see where this goes. Between the her SA allegory, the AIDs allegory and now this, it does feel like they've been putting every 90's talking point onto one character. She does have an honest conversation about it with Phlox though

During the repairs, there are a few really good crew interactions I like. Travis's reassurance to Hoshi that "We are getting home" was great. Archer and Phlox also had a great scene in Archer's quarters, talking about ethics as both doctors and Captains, as Archer considers stealing another ship's warp coil by force. This appears to be the turning point in the whole corruption arc that was hinted at early in the season. The way this conversation was shot, with the lighting keeping Phlox in the dark and out of focus was beautiful. Archer is going down a dark path, and I'm really interested to see if he can make it out the other side without becoming a villain.

The action scene aboard the alien ship during Archer's attempt at Piracy, while T'Pol was trying to keep both ships alive was brilliant. Plus we got a nice scene of Phlox and T'pol have a nice seen of friendship together, and it's really great seeing Phlox become her confidant.

This episode was a lot more interesting that the other main plot episodes. I like that we're properly launching into Archer having to make these Morally Dubious decisions. He's made a few before, but this is the first time the episode hasn't been treating him as if he's right, and I'm excited to see where his character arc goes.

[sonicasura]

Some backstory for the Hard-Boiled Heavies in the Sonic IDW/Pokemon Crossover

When the Elite Eggrobo Squad un-earthed the Phantom Ruby it gave them all immense power and knocked a couple of screws loose.

However this is how Dr. Eggman described what happened, as what really happened is that the Phantom Ruby ended up giving the Hard-Boiled Heavies personalites, and the ability too think for themselves.

As Eggrobos they were driven only by there orders from Dr.Eggman, as the Hard-Boilded Heavies they gained the ability too think and adept, which was only held by a few of Dr.Eggman's creations.

How the Phantom Ruby did this unknown however it is possible that the Ruby disrupted what ever code kept them completely bound too Dr. Eggman along with imparting personalities upon the Heavies

The Phantom Ruby did cause Heavy King to sort of betray Dr. Eggman as Heavy King too control of the situation when he realized that Dr. Eggman's plans were failing in Mania. Heavey King wanted too take control of the situation and try and beat Sonic for Dr. Eggman and took the Phantom Ruby too try and do so. However Heavy King did not realize that he was slowly losing control too the Phantom Ruby which was trying too take over Heavy King's body. Later revalations about the Phantom Ruby would reveal that it would try and take over a host body or compel some one that had been granted it's power too do it's bidding which is what the Ruby did too Heavy King. Why is unknown perhaps the reality agumenting power the Ruby held was far more sinister than originally thought or maybe it is something else entirely?

After the events of Mania the Heavies were rebuilt, Dr. Eggman put in codes to keep the Heavies loyal too him, the code did not work and the Heavies kept there personalities and ability too think. However since a great deal of the Ruby's energy had disapated by this point and the Ruby was gone all the Heavies lost a lot of there more destructive tendencies and were all a lot more calm now and for the most part followed Dr. Eggman's orders.

They were all loyal too Dr. Eggman especially Heavy King and the Heavies helped Dr. Eggman on many of his schemes even though they always failed.

However one day the Heavies were all just… thrown away. Dr. Eggman saw them all as failures and refused too have useless robots around. The Heavies were all broken from a major battle with Sonic and Friends and despite being retrieved by Dr. Eggman were thown out into the Jungle left too rust and be forgotten.

The loyalty of the Hard-Boiled Heavies meant nothing to Dr. Eggman and the Heavies soon began too rust and shatter from the elements and would have been lost too time….

If not for one adventurous youth and the Pokémon finding them all in that Jungle

A little trivia I came up with

Shinobi likes too speak in Haikus when ever he can and really likes frogs

Rider actually admires Sonic for his Daredevil attitude and wishes too race against Sonic

Magician loves too watch old performances from famous Magicians and was inspired by some too start working on amazing card tricks and techniques.

It should also be noted that Magician can not be beat when playing cards, she could run a casino out of business by playing Black Jack alone

Gunner can fly on his own but really likes too hang of the side of his Helicopter, this is because Gunner loves too watch those 90's action heroes movies and thinks 90's action heroes stuff is some of the coolest stuff out there and tries too replicate it when ever he can

King loves Tactic based videogames with one his favorite videogames being Fire Emblem

Shinobi, Gunner, Magician, and King all agree that Rider is the best at Kart Racer Video Games

Rider can always be seen with her Motobug companion Jimmy

Shinobi is fantastic at making origami creations and even made origami replicas of all the Heavies

Gunner loves fighting games and has figures of some of his favorite fighting game characters

King has fantastic Bojutsu skills most likely because his main weapon is a Spector

King loves too watch shows that have royalty as the main characters

Gunner and Rider are both surprisingly very good mechanics, most likely because Gunner and Rider are always taking care and improving the Helicopter and Motobug Jimmy

I hope you like this and deal me your thoughts I love too hear them!

I LOVE what you got here. Honestly won't be surprised if the Phantom Ruby had a corruption sort of effect. I grew up with the Kirby series so any powerful artifact with unknown or ominous origins shouldn't be fully trusted. *Looks at the Master Crown*

I can see Sonic indulging Rider in fun races from time to time. The Hard Boiled Heavies would definitely get along with a good chunk of Trainer's Pokemon. Especially those who match their interests or abilities.

[herunswithscissors]

McNabb didn't "choke" in the Superbowl. And give Andy a break about mismanaging the clock when he did everything else he possibly could to coach the Avengers into nearly defeating Thanos without any deus ex machina bull shit.

Just pure gumption and genius coaching. But nothing beats Brady and Bellichek when Gronk and Brady are in sync. Even as a fucking AARP member with the fucking Tampa Bay Rays he's still formidable and a regular contender for the Superbowl today.

In the 90's The trio was an unstoppable force that just plowed up and down the field and every possession ended in a TD.

The 2004 Eagles kept up with Brady.

And that hall of fame defense fucked him up like the spirit of Reggie White possessed them. They made him cry and throw a tantrum and got dirt on his uniform. And turf in his face mask. Hitting and hurrying Brady almost every down against the very best offensive line money and guaranteed Superbowl rings can buy.

And fucking Brady just got even better.

And yet. And yet with Terrell Owens on a broken leg playing half speed yet doing outrageous plays and a nervous McNabb playing extremely competently using his legs and working well with Westbrook doing his magic and Owens showboating, Andy Reid almost did it. He almost got his offense to keep up with Brady and slow Brady down enough to give Donovan a chance to win.

But McNab let the pressure get to him at the end and stopped having fun. And began to hesitate and second guess instead of just instinctively having fun and playing at his usual superhuman level.

He just got nervous. Probably for the first time in his life. A real chance to beat Brady! And win the Superbowl for Philly at last! With his favorite teammates and coach Andy Reid! (Andy Reid is what Joe Paterno pretended to be.)

Donovan McNabb got nervous because only Tom Brady wouldn't get nervous at the thought of facing Brady let alone hoping to beat him in the Superbowl when he was playing top of his game. So Donovan "choked" and made some shit plays at the end there. But up till then he had danced up and down the field vs the Patriots defense and kept up with Brady blow for blow. McNabb was beautiful that day.

Andy Reid was on his game too and against all odds almost lead the Avengers to victory against Brady.

But Brady and Bellicheck with Gronk on his game is absolutely invincible. Just an unstoppable force where you are hoping for a failed 1st down run and and short second to make for a long third and then some kind of miracle stop or on third and long. The best defense was to try and draw fouls. Because you can't stop the guy. You just have to slow him down and hope for one or pray for two bad throws this 3rd down.

Like, third and thirty five was difficult but doable most possessions.

Eagles actually hit that smug father fucker a whole bunch on his way up and down the field. It didn't stop him. But it was hella fun to watch as my team almost beat Brady in his prime, but nothing could ever beat Brady in his prime. Even on his bad days he was nothing short of perfect and intelligent and creative and instinctual that borders on godlike.

I hate his guts and I just don't know why. He seems hella nice. He's too good looking and dates a model but good for him on all of that. I'm happy to see decent guys win the lottery. But I still don't like him. Such is life. I wish him well in everything but football. Get sacked Brady.

But yeah, no body, no matter how well prepared, trained and superhuman can be perfect for the entire Superbowl. You are going to lose some possessions without having scored.

The Eagles were a true Super Bowl team. Any other decade they would have won any Super Bowl against any team outside of the 2000's Patriots. They made every offensive line in the NFL look silly and picked off future hall of famers every other down.

The Lombardi Trophy belonged to Brady back then. Pure and simple. It was just who is going to lose spectacularly in the Super Bowl after playing big fish in a small pond till now.

Eagles almost beat Brady in his prime, but nothing can keep up with a demigod.

I submit that the 2004 Eagles were a feat of genius by Andy

He was able to cobble together a really good team around his star QB and other key players who are all hall of famers now. And I don't know how he snatched up Owens. Owens was amazing. He just had a big mouth and was a showboat. He backed up every boast too and made the greatest future hall of famer DBs miss every single time. And everyone loved it. Except the fucking racist NFL.

Andy managed to cobble together this amazing 2004 Eagles team and got them working together even though they didn't like each other at first and help them run together so well that he almost took this army of reject NFL superheroes up against Thanos and won.

He had a Lawful Good Deadpool instead of Captain America leading the charge. And Neutral Good Don't Give A Fuck Decent Guy Deadpool With a sharpie up his sleeve carving up the captains of Thanos. And Mysteriously unknown preternatural undersized Black Panther Westbrook conducting acrobatic feats y'all wouldn't believe today. Even still that man's shit was like watching Black Panther dance around dealing broken ankles and first downs out of third and long every time McNabb got in trouble.

Even the Avengers can't beat 2000s Brady.

Give McNabb and Andy Reid their due respect. They almost did the impossible together. Don't give them such trash about minor little lapses in perfection. You aren't the God of Noah.

You are an Eagles Fan! And you cheered through fucking Buddy Ryan's bullshit. Andy Reid and McNabb almost took down Brady in his prime! You should celebrate that team!

[bigforeheadbaddie]

summer horror series entry three: I know what you did last summer (1997) 🎣

~ a now broken group of friends reunite when one of them receives a threatening letter that places their futures…and lives in jeopardy ~

this is a classic teen horror with an absolutely stacked late 90’s/early 00’s tiger beat coverstars cast. I love the small, northern coastal vibe to this one with a splash of americana. this would be my vote for a forth of july watch party because you get that later summer feeling and americana aesthetic I mentioned earlier, but it doesn’t lean too much into the political. I grant this one 7/10 stars only because it took me multiple rewatches throughout my life to actually become engaged in the story.