#9 to 2 is my insanity to my sanity ratio

[ur-a-simp]

I must confesses:

[babyspacebatclone]

I am not making any of this up, only altering minor details as necessary that may be too identifiable.

It is long, so for sanity, full dets under the cut.

TL;DR: Whoever’s writing this crap (aka my life) is a hack, and needs to stop relying on the “medical emergency” trope for preventing my job from having a functioning level of staff.

Context: I work at a daycare center in the Midwest of the USA. It is not a chain; however, the owners own multiple centers in the area. Combined we would count as a large business, so of course that’s not how it is on the books (means they can work us longer before overtime, etc).

At the beginning of our story, there were three open centers. AC, the “flagship” center, with a director who is part of the owner’s family. BC North and BC South were purchased next, and, how can I nicely say it…. Half a step up from Ghetto? I am not joking, when I was working at BCN and my mom visited, she said she wanted to pull me out of there. BCN functions, barely; BCS is a few blocks away, and despite the owner’s insistence should never be reopened in my terrified opinion - never has had staff the 5 years it’s been under them, fortunately. CC has been open for 40 years, and purchased by the owners when the previous owner retired three years ago. I work at CC now, and hands down the best place just because we have a functioning director, which enables us to keep functioning staff (half of which were under the previous owner).

At the beginning of the year 2021, none of the three open centers had enough staff. We advertise openings like crazy, but it’s hard underpaid work. So what does my brilliant *cough* owner do?

Buy two buildings in two different nearby cities to convert into new centers. Because he thinks he can get more staff if he’s hunting in new cities??? idk

Not buy two new centers like he’s done previously, with existing enrolled children and staff - two non-daycare buildings to convert.

Note: I talk about “older” and “younger” rooms in this. By licensing, children are in a specific age group based on chronological age, with some overlap to allow for development (e.g. At 16 months, an infant can be a toddler, but you can also delay until 18 months without paperwork). My center has enough physical rooms we further separate infants and preschoolers by development/sanity; toddlers are in one single room. Also, “Lead” teachers are the ones in charge and have extra paperwork; assistant level teachers (like me) can also run a room but are more likely to go crazy if left unsupported (like me). Aides are considered unskilled enough that they can’t be alone with kids, unless there’s a pandemic going on and we’re just trying to have any warm body in a room….

So, that’s the context of this insanity before March 2021, when the lead teacher who was on maternity leave returned to my center and I assumed we could settle down into a stable pattern for a second.

I am a naïve idiot.

First we lose two experienced full-time positions, a preschool lead teacher and the kitchen/support staff, who are both leaving to move closer to their (different) families because personal reasons. Understandable. We have a new teacher-level staff we can have work the younger preschool kids with our returned (excellent) older preschool lead. Our director will just - do the kitchen work until we can find a new kitchen worker…. I guess? 🤷‍♀️ We’re also training staff to work the ancient dishwasher to help…

At this point CC officially implements a “no new children” policy. We will still accept the children we already promised a position before (mostly infants), and older preschool has a lot of kids leaving for kindergarten throughout the summer (as some parents stop day care during their own summer vacations). We can… Manage.

And our best part-time assistant teacher graduates and moves, but ok.

And then our second-best assistant teacher get a job in her field… ok…

And then the pregnant Toddler assistant teacher is put on bedrest for a month we are praying for her…

Ok two new hires, one an Aide but with experience excellent…

. What. No seriously what.

So, the director of AC is - long term sick. I won’t share details. This leaves us with two directors for three centers (Ideally, we would have four; one’s supposed to be Executive Director…). Here, logic is (strangely) applied and BCN is closed down and the children that chose to stay with the owners are moved to AC. Considering they had, I think, three total staff (one for each age group) not counting the Executive Director that had been covering that insanity…..

(We are also under the impression that the owner is stalling construction on those other two centers-to-be, but with our owner who knows….)

Anyway, the three staff will be helping at the other centers - specifically, the Toddler staff will work some days at AC and some days with is at CC, which is awesome because the Toddlers are drop dead insane right now.

Not joking. We have a biter in remission, an older girl with an attitude and her younger sister that had to move up with her when 16 months because the mobile infant room is packed but my young infant room had movers that had to change rooms, there’s a pack of three boys who just egg each other on, the leader of that pack was visiting preschool but started using the N word at relevant children (obviously, we have zero tolerance for that…), and the two youngest just-moved toddlers are screamers (they got better in the mobile room… they’ve regressed…).

And it’s 16 Toddlers (depending on the day) crammed into one area (that can be divided into two play areas, fortunately), at a 7 to 1 staff ratio.

So what happens last week? That Toddler teacher gets sick. Then goes to the hospital. Then, I am not joking wtf, leaves a vague text message to my director about a surgery I can’t even…

I just. What.

The Mobile Infant Room has a casual biter. Like, there is no provocation, this kid (who is giant and all muscle) just crawls up to kids and bites. The other 10 babies in there are generally ok-ish, but I don’t know how they are surviving.

Both preschools are…. Well, better than the Toddler room now that the one child is taking the summer before Kindergarten off praise whatever deity you worship hallelujah. Still have kids that need breaks in the director’s office but not as often.

My room, which is now 6 infants ages 3 to 6 months, is my default the easiest to manage.

And 4 of these 6 babies come in between 7:45 and 8:15 (the other two earlier), all want a bottle between 8:30 and 9:00 (we have two staff and policy is one bottle per staff…) and some of these kids take 20-30 minutes for a bottle (do the math)…..

But by about 10am we’re settled and we generally have them ready to wait for the next round of bottles staggered…

And the projectile spitter-upper is improving! They’re only spitting up about 1.5 oz a day, instead of multiple 2 oz random attacks!! 😊

………. My brain is mush send help.