#8 years of friendship and this is the last straw :D

[shadowbends]

4, 23, and 30!

30: Your favourite journal RP memory? :D (if more than one pick one I guess)

4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

When I was a kid, I used to think mermaids were real! I don't think there's anything I still believe in, though. 8|a

23. do you wear jewelry?

If I'm dressing up! I love sparkly things (especially necklaces), but in practice I find most jewelry uncomfortable to wear, so I only break them out for special circumstances or when I'm in the mood. I have a few rings and necklaces, but you'll only see me wearing them a couple times a year.

30. Your favourite journal RP memory? :D (if more than one pick one I guess)

Oh that's a fun one! Well for newer followers (or ones who don't know me as well), I'll start by explaining that I used to RP on Livejournal and Dreamwidth! I was a bit of a one-hit wonder—could only ever really manage one character at time, despite how many years I played—but I had a lot of fun with it.

As for choosing a favorite memory... Hm. Just choosing one is too tough, so I'll go with one for each of the three characters I had most fun with! That would be Brook from One Piece, Nara Shikamaru from Naruto, and Rin Tohsaka from Fate/stay night.

Brook — Luceti

God we had so much fun back in our early Luceti days, so many Strawhat shenanigans. There's a number of crew threads in particular I could pick, but! I think I'm going to go with that time Katie (your lovely OC) accidentally made Brook see everyone's dream echoes, because that was just like... It was so fun! For me, I should stress—Brook thought he was going insane (again, oops)—but I had a lovely time. 8D

Seriously, though. The dream echoes everyone tagged in with were so diverse. I had lovely little memories, like Zeff watching over Sanji and Kuina with Zoro, to scary ones like Katara's memory of her mother's death, and so on. The reactions to it were really interesting too, like oh gosh, I remember having a totally heartbreaking thread with @angeldormante's Chopper.

And then Katie herself! She and Brook had some darling CR. I still remember her mustering up the solemn nerve to tell Brook what was really going on, even though telling the truth literally hurt her. If I remember right, she also followed him up into the mountains to keep an eye on him? That was in hiatus-land, but I loved it. They had such a good friendship. ;;

Nara Shikamaru — Luceti

Ahh, my son. I played him for the longest of all my characters, so Shikamaru by far has the most material for me to choose from, but I think I can solidly go with the time the Asuma we had went home. A lot of other bad things had already happened in game around the same time (including Temari getting killed!), so Asuma's departure was the straw that broke the camel's back, and Shikamaru...

Well, he just kind of shut off and threw himself into his work. Processing by way of refusing to process, yadda yadda. This lead to two separate but amazing threads of some of his closest CR confronting him on it, though—Masaomi from Durarara!! and Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender, respectively.

Masaomi was first, and got Shikamaru's backstory with Asuma and Hidan out of him (a story I don't think he actually told anyone else in full for the five years I played him, surprisingly?), and managed to provoke an angry response out of him as well by being a little shit. It was a good move though, because it made him feel something, so when Katara came around the next day with a more heartfelt approach, she had a crack to work with because he was still emotionally raw and on edge.

And, uh. Boy did she open that crack wide open. There was a lot pf pain and grief, but healing too; Katara's player (@somescribblybits) and I still talk about that thread to this day, because it's one of the Big Moments of their friendship that still sticks with us.

Rin Tohsaka — Trustfell 5

Pfft, this one's going to be by far the silliest. Largely because I wasn't actually involved for the most memorable parts! It's impossible not to include, though, because it's the "Troy coming back with pizza to everything being on fire" moment of my RP history.

So! I played Rin in a murder game; I was very active with her up until the sixth week, when she, well. Got murdered! Actually a lot of people got murdered that day, it was a bloodbath week, but Rin's death in particular is the domino that sets everything into motion here.

See, when the mods rolled who was dying that week, the RNG gods picked Kogami from Psycho-Pass as her murderer. Rin actually had close CR with Kogami; they got off on the wrong foot at first, but worked together well at trials, often leading the conversations to determine who killed who each week. After a while, respect turned to friendship, and from there to a more unique relationship. Kogami was a dog without a master, and Rin was a Master without a Servant—it became natural for them to rely on one another and keep each other in check.

You know. Until said murder thing. LET ME GET BACK TO THAT.

So Kogami's killed Rin. Trial starts to determine her murderer (as well as those of the other three victims). This is the part where I need to mention the real star of the show here:

Sakura Matou. Aka. Rin's (secret) younger sister who was adopted out to another family, and who she has an extremely complicated relationship with.

Oh yes, she's here too. If you know Fate, you can already see how this could go wrong.

If I tell you that Sakura also had a close friendship with Kogami, and the sisters confided in him a great deal, you can see how this is about to get even worse.

SO. TRIAL IS GOING IN CIRCLES. Part of this is because there's just too many dead bodies and it's confusing, but it doesn't help that the usual people leading the investigations at this point are either dead or hiding they're killers. Of all people, Mikoto from K steps up the plate?? In his own special way.

By which I mean when people start being difficult and things get heated, he decides to hand Sakura a LOADED CROSSBOW (brought in as evidence), which she starts threatening people with even as the other characters at the trial are trying to calm her down. This works up until about the point Kogami admits he killed Rin, and Sakura fires on him in a grief-fueled rage, shooting him dead in the courtroom.

BUT WAIT, IT GETS WORSE. 8D

Sakura then starts screaming to the mastermind, because they had a deal! YEAH AS IT TURNS OUT, SAKURA WAS A MOLE AND WAS FEEDING THEIR CAPTORS INFO ON EVERYONE IN EXCHANGE FOR RIN'S SAFETY.

SO THE COURTROOM IS A DUMPSTER FIRE AT THIS POINT. All communication has broken down, five people are dead instead of four, Sakura (a person most of the community loved) are devastated not just at her betrayal, but in having to vote to kill her for their own survival—enough so that several of them start voting for themselves out of protest.

Have I mentioned that if the majority of the characters in this game didn't vote for the correct killer(s), everyone dies? IT WAS A REALLY CLOSE THING, TOO, ASDFGHJKL. They managed to survive by one vote, thanks to Wheatley from Portal 2 as the game's unlikely savior.

TL;DR: SO, UH. YEAH. That was the time my character nearly bad-ended a game, just by dying! If you're still here, thanks for reading! 8Db

[numbaoneflaya]

My old friend who invited me to a moth*r moth*r concert we were planning on going to stopped texting me back and ghosted me and went to it with her BF instead 🥰🥰🥰 never even had the guts to tell me

[lizzielikeborden]

(ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥ prompts for requests (>‿◠)✌

These are some prompts to use for requests. They have labels, so when you request be sure to use the label and the number so I know which section you got it from. Happy requesting!

Fluff

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “It’s you, it always has been.”

3. “You’re everything I could’ve wanted and more.”

4. “Kiss me.”

5. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.” 

6. “You should probably go home.” “But I’m already home.”

7. “You’re an idiot.” “But you love me.”

8. “I’d do anything for you.” 

9. “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”

10. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

11. “I’m so proud of you.” 

12. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

13. “I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

14. “You are my family.”

15. “I’m right here.”

16. “Can you just please hold me?” 

17. “I’m pretty sure (you’re/she’s/he’s/they’re) my soulmate”

18. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

19. “You know, I think my (mother/father/parents) would be proud if I brought (you/her/him/them) home.” 

20. “I just want to see you happy.”

21. “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile like that in ages.” 

22. “You made me a better person. Thank you.” 

23. “I’d rather live in the woods with you than in a mansion with some (girl/boy/person) I barely know.”

24. “This reminded me of you.” 

25. “Your hair is really soft.”

26. “You’re really warm.”

27. “Are you blushing?”

28. “Can I stay here tonight?”

29. “Because I love you.”

30. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

31. “I’m never going to leave you. I promise.”

32. “Make a wish!”

33. “I love seeing you smile.”

34. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

35. “I just want to be there for you.”

36. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

37. “You’re just a softie.”

38. “You owe me.” “Fine, whatever you like.”

39. “You’re safe now, I’m here.”

40. “Why are you scared of loving?”

41. “You are crushing me right now.”

42. “Darling I love you and all, but please step out fo the kitchen.”

43. “I love you.”

44.“You’re an idiot.” “But I am your idiot.”

45. “Take my hand. Just trust me.”

46. “You’re hurt. Please just let heal it.”

47. “At least let me clean it.”

48. “I told you to take care of yourself.”

49. “You’re the only thing that matters.”

50. “Stay.”

Angst

1. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

2. “You started drinking again, didn’t you?” 

3. “You promised you’d stop drinking.” “And you promised you wouldn’t hurt me!″

4.“But it’s my fault right?”

5.“I don’t want to feel this. I want to be numb again.”

6.“You’re lying to me again. Why can’t you just tell me the truth for once?”

7.“I love you.” “No you don’t”

8.“I can’t lose you.” “You already did.”

9.“Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?”

10.“How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?”  

11.“I loved you.” “Then why did you let (her/him/them) get in between us?”

12.“Maybe they were right, you never did change.”

13.“This is all in my head. It’s all happening in my head.”

14.“Don’t you dare walk away from this!”

15.“What gives you the right to just waltz back into my life after all the pain you’ve caused.”

16.“You’ve changed.”

17.“You win, happy?”

18.“Any other lies left to tell me?”

19.“Why did you wait until I moved on?”

20.“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”

21.“Its (her/him/them), isn’t it?”

22.“It’s always been (her/him/them).”

23.“When did you stop loving me?”

24.“Let me go.”

25.“You’re not you.”

26.“I miss the old you.”

27.“What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

29.“Move out of my way before I make you.”

30.“I risked my life for you.”

31.“I never would’ve thought (she/he/they)’d end up with someone else.”

32.“They were perfect for each other.”

33.“I was happier with you.”

34.“I would’ve done anything for you.”

35. “I loved you. I loved you so so much but you hurt me.”

36.“They warned me about this.” “About what?” “You.” 

37.“Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

38.“You broke me.”

39.“You just threw four years of friendship out the window.”

40.“Hasn’t this addiction done enough damage already?”

41.“Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”

42.“You promised.”

43.“I don’t need help! I need an end to this pain.”

44.“What am I in your life? Because as of lately I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.”

45. “Leave”

46.“I can’t keep playing pretend.”

47.“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

48.“I wish we never met.”

49.“I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

50. “You scare me now.”

General

1.“I love you.” “Tell me that when you’re sober.” 

2.“It’s pouring rain why are you here?”

3.“I love you.” “You shouldn’t.”

4.“Where are you?”

5.“What happened?”

6.“Have you been taking care of yourself?”

7.“Is that blood?” “Yes but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” “You are literally bleeding.”

8. “Is that my book?”

9. “Are they dead?”

10. “You want to play pretend? Well two can play at that game.”

11.“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”

12.“Come back to bed. Please.” 

13.“You’re who they warned me about.” 

14.“Come back.”

15.“You should’ve listened to me.”

16.“I haven’t seen you in days.” 

17.“Are you jealous?”

18.“Cheers, I’ll drink to that.” “You drink everything.” “Cheers!”

19.“Why is there a lion in the room?” 

20.“Is that vodka? At 7 in the morning?”

21. “Can we take this home?”

22. “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?”

23. “I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile in months.”

24. “(She/he/they) don’t belong with (her/him/them)!” “Than who do(es) (she/he/they) belong with?” “…..with me.”

25. Come home.”

26. “I hope you’re happy.”

27. “They don’t need to know.”

28. “I made this for you.”

29. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

30. “Is this really the time for jokes?”

31.“Wake me up when it’s over.” 

32.“You look happy.” 

33.“I’m sorry, do I know you?” 

34.“Why can’t I get you out of my head?”

35.“Do you want that?”

36.“Don’t let go.” 

37.“Just let me stay.”

38.“Can I at least tell my side of the story?” 

39.“Do you trust me?” 

40.“Are you flirting with me?”

41.“Is the weight of your sins too heavy?”

42.“Just let me see (her/him/them) one last time. Please.”

43.“Are you afraid to die?”

44.“Are they really ‘just a friend’?”

45.“I wasn’t lying when I told you that I loved you.”

46.“I won’t hurt you.”

47.“Have you been sleeping?”

48.“I didn’t know where else to go.”

49. “It’s not 8:00 AM, it’s 8:00 AM”

50. “We should just play our music louder, then we won’t hear theirs.”- “That’s so much noise.”

Mental Health

1.“I didn’t know where else to go.”

2."you can talk to me about anything"

3."I don't understand but I believe you"

4."I'll stay with you as long as you need me to"

5."take a deep breath"

6."do you want me to give you advice or do you just want me to listen?"

7."you don't have to go through this alone"

8."I'll check on you again tomorrow"

9."you're not broken"

10."let's take a five minute break

11."I love you no matter what your brain tells you"

12."I'm always here if you need anything"

13."please don't talk that way about yourself"

14."let me know if you ever need a ride to therapy"

15."don't forget to take your medication"

16."it's okay to ask for help"

17."I'll go with you for moral support"

18."I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does"

19."do you want to talk about it or would you like a distraction?"

20."you're safe"

21."there is always hope"

22.“I will do this with you, you’re never alone”

23.“No one is perfect.”

24.“I will sit outside this door for hours if that helps.”

25.“This is not your fault.”

26.“You do not owe anyone an apology.”

Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”

1.Holding their hands when they are shaking.

2.Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.

3.Traveling long distances just to see them.

4.Making their favorite meal when they are having a hard day.

5.Giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed.

6.Tucking your head into their neck during a hug.

7.Lightly kissing on top of a freshly formed bruise.

8.Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them.

9.Participating in their hobby even if it doesn’t personally interest you.

10.Sitting in comfortable silence while eating a meal.

11.Telling them a dumb joke just to see their smile.

12.Following their family traditions that they enjoy.

13.Singing and dancing to their favorite song.

14.Calming them down when they have a bad dream.

15..Having a tickle fight until you’re breathless.

16.Folding their clean laundry and putting it away.

17.Sharing a soft smile across a crowded room.

18.Bringing them a plate of their favorite sliced fruit.

19.Washing their back/hair in the shower.

20.Sharing your umbrella with them in the rain.

21.Listening to them while they vent.

22.Taking a picture together to print and hang later.

23.Tracing your names together in the sand.

24.Wearing clothes in their favorite color.

25.Doing a chore for them that you know they aren’t fond of.

26.Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.

27.Sharing a drink with them from the same straw.

28.Tucking their hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.

29.Helping scratch that itch on their back they can’t reach.

30.Pulling a chair out for them to sit down at the table.

31.Wrapping a blanket around them when they are sitting on the couch and watching a show.

32.Throwing away their piles of tissues when they have a cold.

33.Mending an item of their clothing that was ripped.

34.Running out in the middle of the night to get a food item they’re craving.

35.Helping brush their hair after a shower.

36.Making sure to be quiet while they’re taking a nap.

37.Letting them warm their cold hands under your shirt.

38.Giving them your dessert when you eat out because it’s their favorite.

39.Making a goofy face until they notice and laugh.

40.Giving them space when they express wanting to have some time alone.

41.Holding their hand while walking, even if there isn’t a crowd.

42.Holding shopping bags that are too heavy for them.

43.Standing between them and a busy road.

44.Rubbing the back of their hand with a thumb.

45.Giving them a back massage when they flop on the couch or bed.

46.Staying up half the night to finish a game with them.

47.Getting them a coffee just the way they like it.

48.Giving them a tight hug that makes them lose their breath.

49. Buying them a special treat when you go out shopping.

50. Watching shitty horror movies 

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroes (Updated) by DarkChild316

“Guess who’s back…back again! DarkChild’s back, with 10 more friends!” LOL, sorry for that lame-ass joke, but I was listening to some Eminem earlier today. Anyway, my terrible sense of humor aside, I thought it would be a good time to give my list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Heroes” an update, figured since I did one for the villains I thought shit, might as well do one for the heroes too! Now once again, this list is strictly for the men only, if you want a list of my favorite anime queens, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroines”. But in the meantime, enjoy this updated list of my favorite anime heroes:

#10. Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia): One of the newest (and quite literally) entries on my list, Deku is a character who dreamed of becoming a hero in spite of being born without a Quirk or any kind of powers in a world dominated by heroes with them. Only to be chosen as successor to the greatest hero of the age, All Might. A humble yet caring fanboy at heart, if All Might represents the Golden Age of heroes, then Deku represents the future of heroes in the Modern Era. He may be a socially awkward cinnamon roll at the best of times, but don’t let that fool you into thinking that he’s not willing to stand up and do what’s right when the chips are down and the world needs a hero to stand for, no matter what form of villain is in the way! The only reason he doesn’t rank any higher on this list, is because he’s still relatively new to the scene and time will tell where he stands in the Patheon of anime legends.

#9. Inuyasha (InuYasha): He’s half dog-demon, half human: put it all together and what do you get? A sword-wielding hybrid who knows how to take care of business. Originally wanting nothing more than to become a full demon, his human heart trumped his selfish desires, leading him to fall for the modern-day schoolgirl he vowed to protect. Fighting through feudal Japan to recover fragments of the Sacred Jewel, InuYasha can be both cold and rude, yet heartfelt and compassionate. Plus, he makes us all laugh whenever we see this happen.

#8. Alucard (Hellsing): There have been a shitload of vampires in modern anime, yet all of them owe their debt to this tall, dark, well-dressed man. There has never been a vampire as delightfully sadistic as Alucard but unlike most vampires, there’s a method to his sadism that makes him truly brilliant. He isn’t truly evil, he’s just a monster who revels in destroying other monsters in any sadistic way he sees fit. And he truly revels in it, making his victims (most of which are evil Nazis and powerful demons) believe they actually have a chance by damaging them before regenerating and wrecking them in devastating fashion. This isn’t to say he’s totally heartless though, as he’s shown a great deal of fondness for the members of his team who are just as devoted to ridding the world of the evil forces that threaten it. Even though the anime version of Alucard mentions that he doesn't entirely understand humans anymore, he seems happy to work in the service of them, and to protect them from devils who aren't as honorable as he is.

#7. Kenshin Himura (Rurouni Kenshin): When I was a kid, Rurouni Kenshin was my favorite anime growing up and Kenshin was my favorite character. Having had a chance to revisit this anime recently during lockdown reminded me once again why that is, Kenshin is easily the most compelling character I had seen growing up as a kid and he was a refreshing change of pace in the samurai genre. Firstly, he was quite feminine to the point that many mistook him for a woman. He was also one of the politest characters in anime history, frequently putting others before himself and speaking to them with the utmost respect and patience. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think the guy would be better suited as a florist that a samurai. But underneath that smiling exterior hides a dark secret, Kenshin is a man haunted by the demons of his past. A former mercenary who killed countless foes, he makes a vow to never kill again, and is repeatedly tested on that vow time and time again as less virtuous people endanger the country’s peace. When Kenshin's hand is forced, he can go to incredibly dark places and fall back into the habits that made him known far and wide as the most fearsome swordsman in the land. Although Kenshin’s momentary lapses make him a complete badass and set the stage for some of the most epic sword battles ever animated, Kenshin always goes back to his sweet persona once the danger is gone. But in his solitary, quiet moments, he's gripped by his greatest fear; that one day he will permanently revert to his former self and become a manslayer once more.

#6. Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop): I’ll admit, it had been a long time since I’d seen Cowboy Bebop, so naturally I had forgotten about how cool a character Spike Spiegel was. Thankfully, this pandemic has allowed me to revisit it, and I find myself being just as in awe of Spike as I was when I was kid in the 90’s, he’s that awesome a character folks! Spike was an amalgamation of influences (from Bruce Lee, to Lupin III, and a little dose of film noir), and the result was a creation greater than the sum of its parts. In a series like Cowboy Bebop, which was itself a combination of cultural influences from around the globe, Spike was the essence of the story. Voice actor Steve Blum launched his career into new heights when he gave the performance of a lifetime in the English dub of the series, giving Spike a sense of smooth, effortless cool that many argue surpassed the original Japanese version.

Spike proved to be a versatile character; he was an expert pickpocket, a gearhead who worked on his own spaceship, a clever detective, a badass fighter, and even a bit of a philosopher. But what made Spike most interesting was his past as a gangster, and a man hopelessly in love. His relationship with Julia, and the tragic end of that relationship, haunts him throughout the series and shows us what truly mattered to him all along. When Cowboy Bebop reaches its powerful conclusion, Spike goes out in a blaze of glory that is unmatched in the history of anime (all I have to say is “Bang”).

#5. Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach): The first of the shonen “Big 3” to appear on my list, you’d think being born with the ability to see ghosts would be enough, but not for this high-school bruiser. After a fateful encounter with a Shinigami, Ichigo gains the power of a god of death, and is tasked with defending his home from the malicious spirits known as Hollows. As his seemingly endless battle stretches to other planes of existence and some truly frightening enemies, both Quincy and Hollow, this orange-haired swordsman will keep fighting to protect what matters most to him no matter what.

#4. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece): The second member of the shonen “Big 3” to make my list, this straw-hatted rubber-man takes my vote for his carefree spirit and his big heart. With the dream of grabbing the title of Pirate King, Luffy is a man who thinks with his stomach and fists rather than his head. Always in the pursuit of adventure, this happy-go-lucky guy may be the last person you consider when you think pirate captain. But you’d be wrong: You mess with Luffy’s crew and he’ll declare war on the entire world to save them.

#3. Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto): Talk about a rough childhood. After having a powerful demon sealed inside of him, Naruto was a social outcast in the shinobi village he grew up in; even though people despised him for being the vessel for the Nine-Tailed Fox demon he did not take the darker path in life nor did it deter him from pursing his dream of becoming the village leader to gain the respect and admiration of those who once shunned him. Naruto’s growth as both a ninja and human can be seen throughout the series,  as it was this good nature of his and the will to protect everyone close to him that slowly changed the attitude of people towards him as the bonds of friendship he forges make his dream worth fighting for.

#2. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist): Wildly ambitious, wickedly smart, and wise beyond his years, Edward Elric entered the stage with a fresh, but interesting take on the modern shonen anime hero. Unlike those who came before him, he wasn’t this lovable idiot with a heart of gold. He was smart, calculating, arrogant, and shrimp sized. But most daring of all was the fact that Edward is technically handicapped, having had both an arm and a leg lost in a tragic accident fueled by love and hubris. In Edward we had a character who unlike most anime heroes was truly multidimensional. He could be comedic and pull off wild takes and sight gags. He could be placed in the most tragic circumstances and portray the deepest kind of sadness. He could be a complete badass, but he could also be the nicest guy on the planet. And most of all we saw Edward discover harsh truths about the world and learn that he didn’t know nearly as much as he thought he did.

#1. Son Goku (Dragon Ball): With the greatest respect to those like Luffy and Naruto, none of those characters would have ever been possible without this man (and the creators of One Piece and Naruto have even admitted this themselves). The prototype for shounen lead characters, Goku was somewhat of an anomaly back in his day. When the plucky, pint-sized kid Goku first appeared in Dragon Ball, the trend for male heroes was to have larger than life muscle heads (which Goku ironically turned into in his adulthood). Goku also grew up; another drastic change in a time when characters rarely changed much. But Dragon Ball Z is where Goku truly earned his fame. Goku isn’t even the most popular character in DBZ sometimes, but he is the foundation of the series. His heroism, strength, and dedication make him the perfect core for a kid’s show where the themes are meant to be pretty simple. He may not be the most complex character in anime history, but he’s perfect for the goal he was meant to accomplish. But Goku isn’t my top hero so much for his character complexity; it’s his influence that cannot be denied. He was, in many ways, a character that bucked the trends of his time and defined the direction of shonen manga/anime for decades, and that's why he's my #1 anime hero of all-time.

So that's my list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime heroes are. See you soon!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[madaboutmerlin]

Merlin Writer Month: Round up

Hello Merlin fans! We hope you’ve had an amazing week and that you found some new fics to enjoy! 

Again, we want to remind you to use the hashtag: #MerlinWriterMonth2018, so that we may reblog all of your wonderful recommendations. Also, we noticed that some of you recommended authors instead of specific fics, so you’ll find them at the end after the GEN cut.

And without further ado, enjoy!

Arthur/Merlin

1. Rules For Roommates by Pickitup  Length: 41,235 Summary:  Modern AU. Arthur works in publishing and is ashamed to tell anyone he’s secretly editing erotica, and being bullied by one of his authors - the arrogant ‘Lake Anders’. He’s also just taken in a new roommate, the adorable Merlin Emrys, who is definitely Not His Type. Or is he?

2. The Oncoming Storm by  Diana_Prallon Lenght: 133,914 Summary: The only thing the Republic isn’t ready for, is war. Everything in their power is being done to appease the systems that have joined the Separatist Movement, to try and keep the peace among all. The Jedi Knights have been sent all over the Galaxy, trying to solve conflicts and stop more and more planets from leaving the Republic, with mixed success. King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot, however, doesn’t believe that avoiding war will be that easy and has devised a scheme to help boost the Republic’s defenses – if he can survive the many attempts on his life and remain hidden under the custody of Jedi Padawan Merlin long enough for his master, Mordred, to figure out who is behind the attempts.

3. Let’s Ruin The Friendship by silver_etoile Lenght: 24,564 Summary:  Desperate to get Merlin over his breakup with Lance, Arthur makes a suggestion that surely can’t backfire–sex with no strings attached. Arthur’s perfectly capable of controlling his own feelings, so why does this feel all wrong and more than a little bit right? 

4. Close Quarters by RocknVaughn Lenght: 3,948 Summary:  Albion University’s rather unique “Get to Know Your Roommate” exercise has Merlin seeing red…and blue, and yellow, and green. 

5. The Dreams Inside by winterstorrm Lenght: 9,959 Summary:  Arthur had always held back, not trusting himself. After all, he’d been in love with Merlin since he was eighteen years old—and Merlin had been with his sister. Now that Morgana was off the scene, could Arthur be blamed for taking his chance with Merlin?

6. Everything by beckybrit Lenght: 5,970 Summary:  Arthur wants Merlin to let go and hold nothing back. The result isn’t quite what he expected.

7. Arthur Pendragon and the Philosopher’s Sword by  a8csock (ladysockalot), ladysockalot  Lenght: 60,941 Summary: Arthur Pendragon was living a normal, mundane life, when he received a mysterious letter inviting him to the magical University of Camelot. Despite his scepticism before long he found himself being whisked of to a world of magic, mystery and destiny. His life would never be the same again.

8. Crisis Muffins by flowersheep Lenght: 2,334 Summary:  Merlin needs to stop having crises at ungodly hours of the morning.

9. Meant to Be Heard by jessicamdawn Lenght: 4,768 Summary: Arthur Penderson meets the eccentric Merlin Emrys when he is twenty. While getting to know him, Arthur happens to hear strange things coming out of Merlin’s mouth when he isn’t looking but can’t figure out what they mean. Reincarnation fic.

10. Clouds On The Horizon by Diana_Prallon Lenght: 49,975 Summary: The Golden Age has arrived.It’s been three years since King Arthur Pendragon legalised magic once again in Camelot. Side by side, magical and non-magical folk have worked to rebuilt the land that was torn in the war against magic just as the King and his sister try to heal the rift between themselves. In times of peace, Albions prospers. Prosperity, however, brings a new threat to the land, one that Camelot cannot face without the aid of its allies. Meanwhile, Arthur and Merlin have to figure out how to live with each other now that there are no more secrets between them.

11. Sail Thou Forth (The Untold Want Remix) by fifty_fifty  Lenght: 37,070 Summary: Trapped in a marriage of convenience, Merlin Emrys doesn’t believe in love at first sight - or true love at all, for that matter.That is, until he meets Arthur Pendragon, an extraordinary man whose courage inspires him to begin the career that he has always longed for, and in whose arms Merlin begins to hope for better things.But society isn’t kind to men like them, and both must overcome tremendous obstacles before they will be free to live the life they’ve been dreaming of.

12. Touch by autumdragon Lenght: 2,596 Summary: It’s not black. Not really. It’s more shades of blacks: constant silhouettes floating in and out of his vision. It’s all he’s ever known. Black. But then he meets Merlin. And he sees colour for the first time.

13. A Rose in Spring by daylighthour Lenght: 3,746 Summary: Merlin is fed up with doing all the hard work and getting none of the credit. When Arthur lashes out at him in a fit of anger, it’s the last straw.

14. Death Invades Camelot by yourrockyspine Lenght: 19,665 Summary: Camelot’s Police Dept. is facing a multitude of problems: A) A series of brutal murders in a small town. B) An exhausted DCI connecting said murders, much to the derision of his fellow officers. C) A homeless, petty criminal hoping to share his observations (and possibly land himself the DCI in question). D) The DCI’s half-sister, who senses someone is following her.

15. Silhouette by rotrude Lenght: 12,409 Summary: Though his father objects, Arthur wants to become a poet, not a lawyer. Moving from London to the country, he finds his muse, in more way than one.

16. The Sidhe Prince by Caite Roswen Lenght: 67,207 Summary: When Prince Merlin of Avalon visits Camelot, King Arthur is confident that everything will run smoothly. He does not expect to come face to face with a destiny that never was, or to find his most closely guarded secrets unravelling around him. Merlin disarms Arthur with his unexpected charm, lays bare his charade as easily as if Arthur’s whole kingship were made of glass, and accompanies him on a journey which will change Camelot forever.

17. The Door at the End of the Hall by tamerofdarkstars Lenght: 6,998 Summary: Sometimes, what the human mind perceives as reality is different than what is actually there. A debilitating virus has decimated the nation, turning people into vicious, bloodthirsty creatures, and for Merlin and Arthur, trapped in the complex they used to work in and racing together to find a cure before the worst befalls them both, the line between reality and perception is blurring. 

18. M.E.R.L.I.N. by Lunadeath02 Lenght: 30,666 Summary: Captain Arthur Pendragon mail orders for a companion robot to keep him company and provide him with sex while he’s exploring the galaxy for unknown worlds; he didn’t plan on getting MERLIN. 

19. Time’s Up by Detochkina * Lenght: 31,700 Summary: Is there anything in common between drugs and excellent grades? Or business and psychology?  The answer is simple – in the world of big money a lot can happen when you’re bored to tears. Under pressure from his father, Merlin becomes involved in a strange relationship. At first, he can’t get out of it; on second thought – he doesn’t want to. “When they ask me in court how I got into this,” Merlin said slowly, trying to recover from the initial shock, “I’ll just tell them I was too busy snorting crack to notice. Think that would move them to tears?” Gwaine tossed his head back and laughed.”

*You’ll need to log in to AO3 to read this work. 

20. To You I Pledge by beren Lenght: 45,009 Summary: Merlin lays his life on the line to save Arthur yet again, only this time there are witnesses, lots of them. Only Arthur prevents him going to the headman’s axe straight away, but Arthur alone cannot save him. That is up to both of them. 

21. Learning by Touch by Capriccio Lenght: 802 Summary: Arthur might be a simpleton, but he’s not stupid. He sees the look in Merlin's eyes: soft and fond and sad, like he wants something he can't have. (Set during 4x12.).

22. One Sheet to the Wind by Capriccio  Lenght: 753 Summary: Merlin is just a plain white sheet, happily drying on the clothesline, until a gust of wind tangles him with the arrogant blanket next door.

23. Where This Road May Go by batgurl88

Summary: Arthur is a royal who can’t remember his past. Merlin and Gaius are con-men, hoping to return Arthur to Uther for a hefty reward. Little do they know they have the real deal on their hands.

24. I Win. by Kitty_Kanneas Lenght: 4,476 Summary:  At the summer faire in Ealdor, Arthur tries his hand at what he terms a 'peasant' game. When he isn't pleased with the outcome, he makes sure everyone knows it's just not really the way things are.

25. The Untold Want by Cookie Lenght: 18,572 Summary: Arthur Pendragon was the down-trodden son of the Duke of Camelot. After a break-down he goes to Cascades, a sanatorium, and begins to learn how to live his own life. That becomes even easier when he meets aspiring architect, Merlin Emrys.

26. Cold as the Wind Blows by arthur_pendragon Lenght: 1,780 Summary:  Every year on the first day of spring, Uther lets Arthur and Morgana and the rest of the nobles and servants do as they please, just for the day - and this year, Merlin finds himself invited to the best picnic of his life.

27. Ydill by arthur_pendragon Lenght: 2,955 Summary: One serene day where they're all as happy as they can be.(In which Merlin and Arthur are abysmal at hiding their emotions, Gwen has a big heart for her friends, and Morgana does, too.)

Arthur/Gwen

1. Shatter into the Hope of Tomorror by Mara93 Lenght: 48,000 Summary: Arthur casts Guinevere out of Camelot for the treachery of his heart. When the true treachery begins, and his beloved Camelot is lit ablaze, he is forced away from his home. Without kingdom, his heart must face fate’s greatest fear.

2.  Sound and Smoke by sneetchstar Lenght: 27,129 Summary: The newly-crowned King of Camelot gets some assistance in his rule from an unexpected source. With unexpected consequences.

3. Striking a Balance by sneetchstar Lenght: 75,807 Summary: Princess Guinevere and Prince Arthur are promised to one another as toddlers, but never meet again until their wedding day.

4.  Growing Up with Benefits by scarlettpeony Lenght: 46,949 Summary: Arthur and Gwen have always been close. As children, they were secret playmates and as adults, they are secret bed-mates.

5. To You, An Admirer (Remastered) by sneetchstar Lenght: 6,376 Summary: When Guinevere and Arthur unwittingly exchange love letters not only do they fall in love but also their entire world is set to change forever as the Kingdoms of Albion teeter on the verge of war. Many obstacles stand in their way, especially once they come to the attention of King Uther Pendragon and Arthur’s aunt, the powerful Queen Anna Lothian. Elsewhere, Merlin tries to help Morgana decode a recurring dream prophesising imminent doom.

6. Be of Good Cheer by schweetheart Lenght: 935 Summary: Canon AU. Camlann is over, and Arthur reigns triumphant over Albion. Gwen basks in the beginning of Camelot’s Golden Age.

7. Here by loveandthetruth Lenght: 422 Summary:  It’s barely past midday and there’s not nearly enough shade here to hide them but Arthur just doesn’t care.

8. Plus ca change (plus c’est la meme chose) by loveandthetruth Lenght: 35,649 Summary: Merlin’s hopes to have left the past behind come under fire when destiny intervenes and history appears to be repeating itself. Chaos and adventure ensue as Merlin tries to stop this story ending in the same tragedy. 

9. The Moment I Saw You by sneetchstar  Lenght: 62,777 Summary:  “Hi, I’m Arthur. Will you marry me?”

10. Broken Shackles by AngryPurpleFire Lenght: 26637 Summary: An invasion on Camelot leaves everyone in shambles. Unlikely alliances unfold in hopes of rebuilding what has been lost.

11. Touch by sneetchstar Lenght: 7,259 Summary: After a car wreck, Arthur needs to see a massage therapist.

Gwaine/Merlin

1. Dust of Snow by AkakoDukes Lenght: 503 Summary: Merlin and Gwaine during the first snow of the season on their way to Ealdor. Fluff.

2. Discovery by Luthorchickv2 Lenght: 1,371 Summary:  Arthur follows Merlin on an herb picking trip and discovers the source of Merlin’s good mood.

3. Riversong by ViridianJane  Lenght: 402 Summary: Merlin’s hands are soaked in blood; poison seeps under his nails and turns his dreams against him. He’s killed with these hands. He’s held death between them and couldn’t bring himself to mourn when he felt nothing inside of him shatter.  But Merlin’s hands are also loving.

4. A Type of Heaven. by leashy_bebes Lenght: 2,685 Summary: Gwaine has to be off doing knightly things. Merlin pines. But then "Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven.” Canon future-fic.

5. The Gravity of Love by VTC Lenght: 9429  Summary: Gwaine zeroes in on the burdens Merlin seems to carry on his shoulders, and embarks on a mission to discover them and alleviate them. It does not go as planned, but it is so much more.

6. This is Just To Say by Heronfem  Lenght: 4,510 Summary:  Merlin can track all of his relationships through the books on his shelves.

7. Time Enough by CanaryPaper Lenght: 738 Summary: “I always feel like we’re trying to conquer time,” Gwaine whispers into the soft shell of his ear. Darts his tongue out for a taste.

Balinor/Hunith

1. Back To Where It Began by LittensTinyMittens Lenght: 818 Summary:  After Kilgharrah has been sent away, Merlin takes his father back to Ealdor.

Gwen/Merlin 1. Kiss Me When I’m Down by sadpendragon Lenght: 937 Summary: We were each other’s first after all.

Freya/Merlin

1. The Love That Binds Us by rubberglue Lenght: 3,593 Summary: Camelot’s greatest strength was the love that connected her people. Nine snippets of love in Camelot.

Arthur/Gwaine/Merlin

1. Hidden Dragons by LittensTinyMittens Words: 103,388 Summary: When the Purge began, the Dragonlords fled to the mountains and created their own little society with the dragons. Merlin is born and raised with his family and his people, only learning of his destiny when he is 16 years old. No one knows how he will meet the Once and Future King, since these days leaving the mountains can be a death sentence.  Lucky for him, the Once and Future King finds him, but to everyone’s shock, it is Arthur Pendragon. Merlin can’t help but feel drawn to him and is then tasked with the mission of teaching the Prince all about magic and their people. Along the way, they’re joined by a handsome traveler named Gwaine, and Merlin feels the pull of destiny with him too…or is it really destiny?

Gwen/Mithian

1. A Delicate Thing by freezerjerky Words: 1,569 Summary: Mithian comes in person to give her condolences.

GEN

1. A Mother’s Eyes by SheWhoStumbles Lenght: 1,598  Summary: It had been three years since the messengers had brought news to Ealdor of King Arthur’s death. It had been three years since magic was restored to the land and Albion entered her golden age. And it had been three years since Hunith had last heard from her only son.

2. Don’t Drink if the Mead Tastes Funny by KaterinaRiley * Lenght: 7,155 Summary: It’s all Arthur’s fault! Merlin didn’t want to drink the mead -it tasted funny- but oh no, Arthur just insisted that Merlin quit acting like a girl. So what happens? They get kidnapped and Arthur’s about to be sold as a slave, that’s what! It’s all Arthur’s fault.

*Canon compliant pairing and hint of slash, but they’re not the focus of the fic.

3. Testament of Weapons by shamera Lenght: 3,569 Summary: Four years and Merlin still had a hard time keeping a sword in his hand for more than a minute in a fight.

12. Problems by MayGlenn Lenght: 40,216 Summary: “Gwaine’s sixth problem, which may have been and always would be the greatest, was his complete and utter refusal—nay, inability—to accept help from others. It tied into his hubris, yes, a bit, and also his pride—for Gwaine had a great deal of pride, contrary to popular opinion—it was shame he didn’t have, which was different."  Gwaine has had worse scrapes than this: he just can’t think of any right now.  A boar hunt with the knights goes terribly wrong, but as things progress, it turns out that that’s the least of his problems.

Writers

1.  AO3 user flammablehat 

2.  AO3 user triste

[bechloeficstuff]

Best Quotes of Experimentation

Hey @redlance, remember that anon? That was me. My “collection” of your quotes sprinkled with my thoughts turned out a mess tbh, and it’s kinda really late, and way too long, but here you go anyways:

Best Quotes of Experimentation, aka The Bechloe Bible™. Chapters 1-35.

[or: what you should read if u love that fic but ur too lazy for a whole reread.]

Beca smiles a little, relieved, and tries not to shift under Chloe’s touch. She doesn’t find it comfortable, not exactly.” - Chapter 1 in the middle - because thAT’S THE FEELING THATS THE FEELING EXACTLY

“It’s fine.” She’s quick to say and now her smile is too wide, the wrong kind of bright.  - Chapter 1 towards the end - “the wrong kind of bright“ really nails it. i love your word choice.

She doesn’t really want to talk to anyone right now, because even though they know better than to expect an immediate explanation or apology – and she swears that it isn’t because she’s an asshole, just super awkward – Beca will still feel like she has to give one. - Chapter 2 relatively in the middle - you’re entirely to hashtag relatable, this is Not Okay™ (jk i lov u)

And Chloe loves this. Love being given the opportunity to sit back and take in moments like these. Her best friends interacting around her, the enormous sense of family and comfort that they give her. - Chapter 7 relatively at the beginning - friends fill my heart with warmth, as does this quote

“Two girls, one cup.” It leaves her in a rush and she covers her face with her hands the second she's finished saying it. Chloe's mouth actually falls open. “That's disgusting.” She gasps after a moment, sounding thoroughly appalled. “I know.” Beca sounds so forlorn and defeated, like she's committed some heinous, ignominious offence. Chloe thinks it might be the most adorable thing she's ever witnessed. - Chapter 7 in the middle somewhere - a good example about how abso-fucking-lutely talented you are in describing feelings and the little changes in them through facial expressions in so much detail without it ever getting boring or dry - also it’s really funny :D

So, um,” excellent start, “when you said that,” and her on and off eye contact is in top form today, “that thing about wanting to kiss me?” - Chapter 8, middle - made me laugh :D

“Sorry.” She mumbles, suddenly sombre, and brushes the back of her hand against her nose. “I just...” A sigh escapes her and she hates how sad and pathetic it sounds. She hates feeling like this; weak and worthless and mopy. Because God, she hates moping. More so when other people do it because it makes her all uncomfortable and she never knows what to do. She would love to be able to tell Chloe something other than the truth. Joke that she was waiting for the redhead so they could pick up where they left off in Stacie's car. “I didn't want anyone else to find me.” What comes out though, is the truth. Which is usually how things with Chloe go. - Chapter 11, lower middle - resonated within me

also: some comparisons or phrases i was too lazy to also copy+paste. like for example chloe or beca uttering something that was like a "drunkenly conceived lovechild between a whine and a groan" or something like that or:

The earrings, her tone, and what Aubrey had later coined as Beca's “fuck off smile”.  - Chapter 12 at the beginning ...stuff like that u know. i really like how you put the words together so well (idk how to say that in good english. you obviously would know tho, and that’s the point)

And she only realises that Chloe is awake when she feels her press a smile into her shoulder. - Chapter 13, lower half  - this fluff is giving me diabetes i swear to god

“I can't leave anyone alone for five minutes around here. You bitches all end up drunk off your tits or gayer than Elton John, God rest his soul.” Beca presses her face into her pillow. “Elton John isn't dead, Amy. - Chapter 13, lower half - bc that was fucking funny 😂

"You know that's what they all say, right? 'One thing led to another' and then bam." Beca makes the mistake of taking a drink from her straw as he speaks. "You're pregnant." And it almost results in what Jesse would refer to a 'spit take', but she manages to keep the liquid inside of her mouth. Just barely. "Yeah, um," she wipes her thumb across her bottom lip to catch the thin smear of dribbled drink, “weirdly? Not worried about that.” - Chapter 14, relative beginning - i think i snorted pretty badly when i read that and i feel like people don’t appreciate your comedic talent enough

Amy's face contorts under the strain of her determination and Cynthia Rose pre-emptively clutches at the oversized knit blanket that they sometimes have to throw over the Aussie to get her to calm her down. - Chapter 14, end of first quarter(?) - the amy related humor just kept getting better and better. your characterization of her is also scarily accurate, i doubt that the movie writers could’ve come up with better stuff tbh

but they haven't been able to come this far in their friendship without Beca learning how to read Chloe. Chloe's kind of like a well-worn paperback at this point, even feels a little ragged around her edges, and so Beca can probably see the panic Chloe feels herself spirally towards after her reaction. - Chapter 15, first half - i love love love good comparisons and metaphors

something rattles behind her ribcage, jostled by the term of endearment. - Chapter 16, last third - beautiful yet accurate description of that feeling

she can see clear sky blue eyes – mischievous, sincere; Chloe's natural state – staring at her over the tops of her knees - Chapter 16, last third - bc imagining that just made me fall in love with the amazing character that is your version of chloe beale all over again ugh god

“Oh my god, it's like I lose control of my body when I’m around you.” The words come out as a rushed whisper, once again without her conscious consent - Chapter 16, last third - bc it was an unexpected yet very pleasant plot point

Beca feels her pulse quicken. It's a familiar beat, one that inevitably starts up whenever she's about to make a move, because initiating things isn't usually within her comfort zone.  - Chapter 16, at the end - bc you can just relate to that a lot as a reader

Chloe's protest is punctuated in all the wrong place by giggles that continually tug at the edges of Beca's smile.  - Chapter 18, towards the end - really nice description

Because she is really, genuinely sore and Chloe does give truly magical massages and it has nothing to do with Beca missing the feeling of her hands on her, because that would be weird. - Chapter 19, beginning - Beca’s sad attempts at denial are gold material :D

“I was conceived on the steps of the Sydney Opera House.” - Chapter 25, lower half - because I could genuinely hear Rebel Wilson saying that in a PP movie. (see: frighteningly spot-on characterization of amy)

There are butterflies mating in her stomach, she knows it. - Chapter 25, towards the end - :D

She can still recall the first time it had stormed after her father's death. - Chapter 26, relative beginning - because you don't expect the end of the sentence and it hits you pretty hard. in the feels. am i ok? not really

And Chloe can't help herself; she twists her head around and brushes her nose against the soft skin of Beca's neck before straining just enough to place a kiss to the same spot - Chapter 26, towards the end - bc that wording "can't help herself" is so accurate

Beca, who whimpers into Chloe's mouth when the redhead presses closer and deepens the kiss, and sucks a sharp breath in when Chloe's hand closes tightly around Beca's arm. Beca, who lets Chloe kiss her for far, far too long given their whereabouts before jerking away. - Chapter 26, end - bc the timing and description and everything of that kiss shows the amount of tension between those two and it's just weirdly perfect idk

Generally, Chloe aggressively and shamelessly flirting the whole time they're on that couch in those moments is my jam

Beca feels fingertips wriggling into the gap at the junction of her thumb and forefinger, and turning her hand over. It's a gesture that has been familiar for a long time now, but lately the way it effects her seems to have changed. It makes her feel extra warm or something. Nervous. - Chapter 27, middle - because every line that subtly confirms that those guys are crushing on each other makes me giddy

Because she always needs that minute of pause it seems, to re-centre, to come back to earth after a moment with Chloe. Especially one like that. Involving hands and mouths, and Chloe telling her she looks good, which so hadn't been something Beca had been hoping to hear at all. If anyone asks. - Chapter 31, beginning - made me smirk. (see: Beca’s attempts at denial)

Chloe takes the silence with that same exact smile and Beca feels those earlier butterflies return, their wings flapping as though they're rushing through the Great Stomach Migration. She swallows the rest of the glass in an attempt to drown them. - Chapter 34, first half - i’m just such a slut for a funny yet good comparison tbh

'Word vomit' has been a term she's identified with a few times over the years and she feels it now. The acrid after-taste of having said something potentially damaging lingers in the silence that follows and it probably doesn't last that long, but it feels like a lifetime passes before Chloe speaks. - Chapter 34, lower half - never thought about the aftertaste comparison of word vomit and i like it

“I thought she was dead,” Beca manages to whisper through her laughter, once the older woman is definitely out of earshot - Chapter 35, relative beginning - hilarious scene :D

Okay so obviously there were more parts that I liked but during some Chapters I just wasn’t motivated to copy+paste everything. Also; I hope the way I cited the quotes is okay, I didn’t know how else to do it. And finally, sorry for my messy thoughts and maybe incorrect English, I’m not a native speaker but I try 😅

Okay, so. Concluding statement. This story made me feel so many types of good things, not only as a Confused Questioning Gay™ that could relate, but also as a reader and human. I’m in love with this story and your writing style and your three-dimensional characters. Every new chapter is so worth the wait, and I hope you don’t get too much pressure from the angry anons; they don’t deserve you.

Thank you @redlance​ so much for writing this story.

[friendliest-place-on-earth]

brave enough

hey guys! mod rose here! this is a songfic i felt the impulse to write a few weeks ago, and i actually really like how it came out. the song is brave enough by lindsey stirling which i think i’ve mentioned is a song that reminds me of javid. the lyrics themselves are in italics. anyway, there might be a part two? we’ll just have to see. enjoy! -mod rose 💜

there's some things i should have said.

“One week of school left! Finally! I can't wait to get out of here,” Jack said as he slid into his chair Monday morning.

“Somebody’s chipper,” Davey said, mustering a grin.

“I know that means we still have to suffer through this week, but how bad it could it really be?”

“One word, Jack: exams.” Davey watched Jack’s eyes as the excitement slowly left them, and he felt bad for a moment. Jack was cuter when he was happy.

“We don't speak of those cursed things, Davey. Didn't anybody tell you?” Jack playfully elbowed him, and Davey laughed.

“Honestly, those are the least of my worries right now. I’m just trying to make sure I get my room packed up. There's not much left, but it all has to be gone in a month.”

“Why do you have to go?” Jack asked dramatically. “Why can't you stay?”

“It’s for my dad’s work, Jack. Trust me, if I could stay, I would.” Davey quickly took out his binder as the teacher came in and tried to cram a bit more.

i was too afraid.

“Okay, Davey, this is ridiculous. You can tell him. I guarantee he likes you back,” Katherine said around a mouthful of yogurt.

“It's not the rejection part that I’m afraid of most, although that's high on the list. It's his reaction in general. And then I’m leaving at the end of June. It’s just bad timing. I can't do it now. Maybe I’ll tell him once I’m gone or something, but now, it's definitely not happening.” Davey flipped through his notebook. “Why isn't your stuff out?”

“I’ve just been looking off yours this whole time. I left mine in my locker on accident.”

“You left it in your locker the night before the exam. The night before finals,” Davey said slowly. “Are you crazy?”

“Not quite. I’ve seen crazier.”

it was just so hard to let you know.

“Well, I failed that test. And if I didn't fail it, I got a D- at best. I don't know how I did that bad.” Jack was only half-joking. Davey knew it has hard for him to study, and test environments freaked him out.

“You should’ve told me you needed help or something. I could've studied with you,” Davey offered, shutting his nearly-empty locker. The only things he kept in there now were books and his lunch.

“I know, I know. I just figured you were under a bunch of stress as it is with the move and your own tests,” Jack said, putting away a hoodie. “That room is always so cold. It’s like Hell, if Hell was cold.” Davey snickered.

“I know there's not really any future opportunity, Jack, but I’d figure out a way to help you out. I always would.” Davey felt the silence settle, and he looked at Jack, who was spaced out, staring at the wall. “Let’s get going before we’re late for lunch, or else Weisel’ll bite our heads off,” Davey grinned, and Jack shook his head.

“You’re not wrong there, Davey.”

and now it's all too late.

stripped away the walls i built

Jack and Race were messing around outside the building while they, Davey, Spot, Katherine, and Crutchie were waiting for the bus.

“I don't know if it’s because it's the end of the year or what, but the teachers really don't give any shits anymore,” Spot said. “A month ago this would’ve been a detention or something lame. Now they don't bat an eye.”

“Saves us from hearing about it, I guess.” Davey scrolled absentmindedly on his phone, looking up at Jack every so often.

“Okay, you're killing me here. You and Crutchie got me and Race together this year, so now it’s my turn to push you into a whirlwind romance.” Spot gave Davey a sidelong glance, and Davey tried to come up with a response while feeling his face heat up.

“Shut up, Conlon. You know I can't do that. Not in a million years,” he sputtered.

“That's what I said. Now I have a boyfriend. He’s a dumbass,” Spot yelled at Race, who shot him a look before pushing Jack again. Davey winced as the teacher looked up and then back at his computer. The bell rang and students flooded the narrow doorway, and Jack shoved Davey lightly with a grin.

“Want to hang out at my place tonight? I think I’m gonna need some help with studying.”

“Oh, sure. I’ll come over around 6?”

“Sounds good.”

like no one ever has.

“Hey, can you check this over? I think they’re right, but I want to be sure.” Jack pointed out a few problems on the page.

“Sure.” Davey put aside the pages he was working on and scanned the numbers over. “It looks right to me.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Davey.” Jack picked the paper back up and started working on the back. He didn't notice the blush that danced on Davey’s cheeks, or his picking at the pencil he was holding. He looked at Jack quickly to find Jack looking back at him, and they locked eyes for a moment before Davey broke eye contact and cleared his throat.

“I should probably head home. I think my mom wanted me back by 8, so I’ll pack up my stuff and then just head out.” Davey started to gather up his papers and his notebook, pretending not to notice the slightly hurt look on Jack’s face.

the hardest part’s we’ll never know

“I can't believe you’re actually leaving,” Jack said as he and Davey carried some of the last boxes from upstairs. Sarah had nothing in her room besides a blanket and pillow, some chargers, and a few days’ worth of clothes.

“I still can’t believe it myself, and my house is nearly empty. Our new house is pretty nice, though. I’ve been up there a few times.” Davey nearly slipped as he went down the last set of stairs.

“You alright? You nearly crashed into the box.” Jack seemed like he was trying to lighten the mood, but it wasn't really working.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Davey replied, although he felt shakier than he should have. “Let’s just get these out and then maybe we can watch something on Netflix.”

“Like what?”

“I don't know. Maybe-”

“Can like, the last thing we watch together be the Bee Movie? That just feels right somehow.” Jack wore an unabashed grin on his face, and Davey couldn't help but laugh.

“Why not?”

if we were meant to last.

i wish i was

Jack pulled Davey into a hug in an effort to hide the fact that he was close to crying. Davey chose to ignore that he felt like he’d do the same as soon as the car pulled out of the driveway.

“This isn't like goodbye forever, I guess. I mean, we’ll still text and stuff, right? And God knows nobody ever shuts up on that one group chat. So I’ll still be in the loop, then.” Davey was grabbing at straws. Sure these things were true, but he also knew that not seeing a person without a screen took a toll on a friendship, or whatever he and Jack had now.

“Yeah. Not forever. Definitely not. Who else am I gonna bother when Race and Spot get mushy in my basement?” Jack said with a chuckle, and Davey snorted.

“Is that all I am to you?” Davey was laughing now, and they still hadn't let go of each other and Mayer was about to honk the car’s horn to get Davey’s attention. Davey gave Jack one last squeeze and broke the hug.

“I have to go, Jack. I’m gonna miss you a bunch.”

“I know. I’ll miss you too, Davey.”

brave enough

Davey yawned as he turned off his alarm. It was the first day of school. Back in New York, all his friends were sound asleep. Back in New York, Jack might still be awake, actually. Jack never slept, it seemed. He hadn’t texted as much as he would've liked, but Davey wouldn't have been able to answer much anyway. The summer had been a whirlwind of unpacking and new furniture because something happened to one of the trucks and most of the bedframes were ether broken or had missing pieces. The Jacobs still weren't fully unpacked, or even halfway, and Davey gave it a solid year before they were. Les had already thrown out or donated most of what he’d insisted on keeping, so Esther had made it her mission to go through everybody else’s things. The alarm screamed again, jolting Davey back to the present, and he got out of bed. But not before he sent Jack a text reading, first day of school! wish me luck!.

Jack woke up to his phone playing some old Imagine Dragons song that Davey had bought on his phone without Jack knowing. Ever since then, he’d made a point of using it as his alarm and Davey’s ringtone. The screen, although dim, still made Jack’s eyes hurt for a second. Davey had texted. It was his first day at the new school.

good luck nerd, Jack replied, before falling back asleep for another few hours hour before he had to get up, too.

brave enough to love you.

[intimatevoid]

casually steals yet another one from @notfinlandjosswhedon​   

Ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? Huh, I don’t actually know. I’ve done a lot of stuff with people who have those piercings, but kissed? I don’t think so.

What about a lip piercing? Yes, Ash has two.

Nose piercing? Hm. I don’t think so.

Did you sleep alone last night? Nope.

How are you sitting? Slouched in my chair.

Where is your family? In the next room, in Manitoba, in North Carolina, and in Sydney.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? I mean... I don’t really have set sleeping or waking hours. So probably, by “normal” definitions.

What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Crying I think.

Waiting for something? June next year, when I go visit @robotslenderman​ in Sydney.

How many people did you kiss last summer? Two are certain. Three or four are possibilities. Time kinda all runs together for me.

Was yesterday terrible? Yesterday was not a good day.

Did you reject or accept your last friend request? Accept.

Do you like pretzels? I’ve never actually had pretzels before.

Do you wait until you’ve completely finished a certain makeup product before you buy a new one? Yeah, I can’t afford to buy makeup all the time.

Would you say that people consider you a major flirt? Yes, I flirt with many people.

Do any of your friends have children? Yeah, a few of them do.

If you are in a relationship, how long have you been together? Two years as of early September.

Did you wake up before 8 AM this morning? I mean... I was awake AT 8am, but I don’t think that’s what this question means...

Do you wear eyeliner? Yes, I love it.

Whose wall have you wrote on today? Nobody‘s.

Would you rather cry in public or make someone else cry in public? The former. Other people might not be able to handle crying in public, but I can.

Would you rather sleep for 3 days or stay awake for 3 days?

 Stay awake. I just can’t sleep for that long, even when I’m at my most depressed.

Would you rather be just rich or rich and famous? Just rich.

Who will you be sleeping with tonight? Ash, probably.

Last person to make you laugh? @aelwen​, talking about her Superworld characters.

Do you look at older pictures and laugh? Not really.

When will your next kiss be? Probably within a couple of hours.

Have you ever truly thought you knew who you were going to marry? Pfft, marriage is not something I want.

Do you have anything that belongs to a partner or an ex partner? Not “belongs”, no. From them, yes.

What would you say if someone told you they were in love with your sister? I mean, I don’t give a fuck what any of my sisters do, so.

Has anyone called you babe or baby in the last two days? Yeah, I have some friends with whom that term is a pet name. It’s funny; when I was younger I used to hate it. Now, I think it’s really nice within the context of these specific friendships.

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed? Yeah, every day.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to be in your bedroom?

 The last person of a different sex in my bedroom was Ash. The last man, though? Wow, that would have been a long time ago. Probably Seb, last time he visited.

Did you see your best friend today? No. We live very far away from each other.

Are your ears pierced more than once, if at all? Yes, I have four piercings in each ear, and I want more.

If you wear skirts, are you more likely to wear leggings, or go bare? Depends on the day.

Are you addicted to texting? I dislike texting because it’s clumsy and slow, but I’m always messaging people.

How many times do you knock on the door? Usually I text them to say I’m outside. But if I do knock, it’s either three or five raps.

If you could move somewhere else, would you? Montreal, with @aelwen​.

Did you kiss or hug anyone recently? Yes.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night? My phone barely ever rings, full stop.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? I mean, there are many people who disappoint me, but very few who I am actually legit bothered by.

Is there someone you will never forget? Many people.

Can you live a day without TV? Yeah, TV (or in my case, TV shows, since I don’t watch aired television) is not really my favourite thing.

Do you swallow gum when you’re done with it? If I can’t be fucked or can’t spit it out into rubbish.

Any plans for this weekend? I miiiiiight be going out somewhere on Friday night. But I don’t think so.

Have you seen anyone lately that you don’t get along with? Not that I can recall.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with that’s not family? @aturinfortheworse​, when I visited them last.

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Not a chance.

Is there anything stressing you out currently? *laughs maniacally*

What kind of mood are you in today? My mood is fine. My depression is awful though.

How late did you stay up last night and why? Again, sleep hours don’t really bother me. It’s after 6am and I haven’t slept, but I also had two short naps during the day.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? I usually sleep in the same bed as them.

Are you mad at anyone? Nope.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? The last person I kissed does indeed have piercings. The last girl or guy, on the other hand? Did not.

What is the name of the last band you discovered? I legit have no idea.

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? Neither, thank you.

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? The sheets are plain purple.

Are your days full and fast-paced? Not in the slightest.

Do you call any of your friends by their last name? Nah, except for one person who uses it as their derby name.

Have you ever gotten lost in a department store? Once at Indooropilly. But only once.

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? A year or so? Ash bought it for me. It’s my red Undertale shirt.

Are you a slut? Sexually, no. But I am very much a slut for emotional connection and sensuality, and I am absolutely a compersion slut.

What happened last time you got drunk? Like properly, fully drunk? @d-eerteeth and I played Just Dance and watched Marble Hornets.

When’s the last time you straightened your hair? It must be like a year ago now. My hair does NOT long being straightened, so I stopped.

What do you want right this second? some money tbh

What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? Sleeping, I think.

What cell phone company do you use? Optus.

Do you wear a bath robe? Nope.

Do you know anyone autistic? Besides myself? Yeah, a few.

How about someone bipolar? Mhm.

What do you want your job to be when you’re older? A body piercer/modder, with an emphasis on clients with special needs who can’t access normal commercial clinics.

What are you listening to? The sound of my computer humming.

Does the last person you texted smoke pot? She sure does.

What did you wear to bed last night? These same clothes.

Who’s in the room with you? It’s just me here.

Have you ever liked someone older than you? Yeah, most people I like are older than me.

Do you like men with beards and goatees? I really do not. Sometimes stubble looks good. But facial hair is seriously not my preference.

Where do you live? QLD, Australia.

Do you always lock your door? Yeaup.

Do you smoke cigarettes? Not for a long time.

Is your birthday in a winter month? Not in Australia, no.

Do you have siblings over the age of 21? Sure do.

What is the last letter of your middle name? A.

Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Nope. My refusal to do so kinda led to some breakdowns lmao

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yes.

When was the last time you were told you were cute? Today, by Ash.

Do you like Chinese food? I’ve never tried actual real food from China, but I do like the food from the Chinese place down the road.

Have you ever trusted a guy when you shouldn’t have? Heh, yeah.

Do you have a brother? What’s his name? I have six. In order of age: Andy, David, Moses, Benny, Noah, Sean.

What time is it? 6:18am.

Is your phone close to you? It’s on my desk, a little above my keyboard.

What woke you up this morning? Heartburn.

When did you last use a straw? A couple of days ago.

Have you ever driven without a license? Nope. Was terrified of being arrested.

What color shirt are you wearing? A red print shirt.

Do you have a ceiling fan located in your bedroom? No.

What are you most looking forward to tomorrow? Potentially having enough energy to check out a queer meetup. Honestly it’s the thing I’m most looking forward to about the next week.

Have you cuddled with someone today? Yes.

Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No.

Do you use the toilet paper with the colorful designs on it? Nope. I just buy the cheapest shit that doesn’t feel awful.

What was the first thing you ate today? Muesli.

Do you have anything more important you should be doing right now? Sleeping, probably.

Have you set an alarm today? Nope.

Do you keep up-to-date with current news and events? I try very hard not to.

When was the last time you visited relatives? So long ago that I don’t remember.

Is chapstick a necessity for you? Yeah, especially in winter.

Name the last 6 people you texted/messaged:

Chloe (@aelwen​)

Stevie

Sage (@d-eerteeth)

Dusty (@robotslenderman)

Caitlin (@cookiekitcat)

Maddie @notfinlandjosswhedon)

How did you meet #3? Through a friend of a friend, with the help of awful memes.

What’s #6’s middle name? Don’t have a clue tbh.

Who have you known the longest out of your 6? Chloe and Dusty, I’m not sure exactly but I’ve known both of them since 2009.

Who have you known the least out of your 6? Maddie.

How do you know #5? We played some really good Overwatch together and became friends through that.

Where does #1 live? Manitoba. Too far away. :(

Is #1 your best friend? One of them, yes. <3

Who on your 6 doesn’t have a job? most of them actually

Does #5 have their drivers license? I have no idea tbh!

Would you ever live with #2? Tbh? I don’t think so. Near, but not with.

Why did you text #4? She sent me a lovely gift so I was thanking her.

Do you miss #3? Yeah. We haven’t seen each other in a long time.

Is #6 a stoner or alchie? the definition of this is a matter of some question to us lmao

Have you ever danced with #2? Yes, actually!

Have you ever done anything sexual with any of them?                           No, not really.

What would your life be like without #1? I don’t want to think about that life would be like without her.

Is #2 your best friend? Nope.

What do you love about #3? Sage is intelligent as hell, so resilient it would scare me if they weren’t on my side, competitively generous, and we have such wonderful banter.

What do you dislike about #3? everything go jump off grand central u bitch (um. for anyone else reading this. that was a joke.)

What is #5’s weakness? Cute things!

What kind of car does #4 drive? I don’t think she drives.

What would you do if #3 & #6 were dating? I would be surprised as hell but I mean each to their own y’know.

Does #2 have a boyfriend/girlfriend? She says that the woman she’s with (i don’t remember her name) isn’t her “girlfriend” but honestly she so is

Have you ever seen #1 cry? I have.

Have you ever kept a secret from #5? Not that I’m aware of.

What is something special about #4? I love her with all my heart.

Does #2 have any special talents? She’s good at talking my ear off!

In one word, describe #6. Interesting.

Has anyone in your top 6 hurt you? Who? Yeah, I’ve been... let down.

Have you ever fought with #6? Nope.

Is #1 a musician? She plays piano!

How old is #4? 25~

Would you ever kiss #5 (if you haven’t already)? Obviously assuming everyone affected by it was consenting? Yeah, sure!

[actuallyireland]

1-47

Tumblr mobile is giving me so many problems… So I guess better late than neverrrr

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? 

Either one will do so long as they tell me I’m pretty

2.When did your last hug take place?

Monday! 

3.Are you a jealous person?

A little bit; I’m pretty chill about most things

4.Are you tired right now?

all day e’ery day

5.Do you chew on your straws?

Nope

6.Have you ever been called a tease?

Yeah

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

It’s not fun. Donot do.

8.Do you cry easily?

Nope. My heart is made of ICE

9.What should you be doing right now?

A whole list of stuff

10.Are you a heavy sleeper?

Not really

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

I’ve done it before (kinda) so yeah I think so

12.Are you mad at someone right now?

Not that I can think of, so I must not have been that mad

13.Do you believe in love?

Of course

14.What makes you laugh no matter what?

When people make silly faces (hello yes I am a five year old)

15.Who was the last person you talked to?

@thesunshinecaboose because I love her and her friendship

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

YES AND BUTTERFLIES IRL ALSO MAKE ME NERVOUS SO IT’S DOUBLE THE NERVES FOR NONE OF THE FUN

17.Will you get married?

Kinda hope so

18.When was the last time you smiled?

I made myself laugh with a few of these answers so very recently 

19.Does anyone like you?

God I hope so

20.Do you secretly like someone?

Yeah sure I think

21.Who was the first person you talked to today?

My puppers

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

I tagged her already (she knows too much). Also another friend who does not tumbr

23.What are you NOT looking forward to?

SCHOOL UGH GEEZ I JUST WANNA BE DONE GIMME THAT DEGREE

24.What ARE you looking forward to?

I got nothing

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

Like in a  romantic way? I’ve been told it before but love doesn’t count in high school

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

Walk away because PDA makes me uncomfortable and also that’s their business I’m not with them anymore

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

Yes! Hopefully by this time next year after I’m all graduated I’ll have a place of my own because I can afford it then

28.Are you a forgiving person?

Hardly. I forgive but I can never forget.

29.How many TRUE friends do you have?

Maybe like two. I have a lot of friends, but I consider people that I can tell everything to my best friends and I only have like two of those. I’m just a very private person.

30.Do you fall for people easily?

I get crushes easily. It’s easy for me to trick myself into falling for people too, so take that as you will

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

Yeah but we were all like in love with this dude lol

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

a breakfast burrito. Why you gotta be gross about it

33.Who was the last person you drove with?

My freeeeeenns. We got coney and it was great.

34.How late did you stay up last night and why?

Until like 2 because I was playing videogames and then got sucked into a hole of watching youtube animations

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Fuck yeah I would

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?

My friend Aubri! I was showing her how cool a telephoto lens looks when zoomed all the way out

37.Can you live a day without TV?

I technically do because I pretty much only watch youtube vids

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

Probably like yesterday lol

39.Three names you go by..

My real name and my screen name. That’s it. My name is so gotdam short there is literally no other way of shortening it further

40.Are you currently in a relationship?

Noooooooo

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

Yeah! I’m a believer in past lives and that kind of shit, so the concept of soul mates just makes sense to me.

43.What’s your current problem?

Having no motivation or self confidence in my abilities :D

44.Have you ever had your heart broken?

Yeah. 10/10 would not recommend 

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

I could never. It would be too difficult and I don’t like the idea of having something weighing me down that isn’t even present in my life

46.How many kids do you want to have?

None, preferably. 

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

All the time. It’s easier if I’m asked first but I could never out right tell someone

[telrtot]

All bet

well fuck, you got me

1: name? taylor irl and lacey here cause its cuter2: gender? on the Girly side3: birthday? feburary 5th 20014: age? 165: zodiac sign? aquarius6: sexuality? bisexual with a Strong leaning towards girls7: hobbies? playing d&d and thinking too much about characters i make. i also play a lot of video games and cosplay sometimes8: aesthetic? the night sky, a swirl of purples and blues and shades of grey, bare shoulders, sunsets9: dream home? somewhere in the city, close enough to walk were i need to. rainy weather is prevalent and in a short while i can find myself in the woods.10: OTP? umm not any Main Ones right now but AraSol will always have a special place in my heart11: favorite band/music genre? indie folk and folk rock. ringlefinch is my favorite band but nobody has heard of em. gotye and hozier are also up there in my favorites.12: favorite songs? hell by ringlefinch ; beneath the brine by the family crest ; beekeeper by keaton henson ; heart's a mess by gotye ; third eye by florence and the machine (perfer the demo version tbh)13: do you have a favorite book? if so, what book? mmm, haven't read enough in the last year or so to really make a choice. i used to Love the hunger games books when i was 10 and read Catching Fire 4 times through...if that counts. gosh i need to read more.14: favorite food? chEese. especially in Queso and Fried forms15: favorite TV show? fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood16: favorite character? aradia megido will always be a love of mine. mercy from ow is also a fave of mine.17: favorite animal(s)? foxes, 'cause they remind me of me, and all avians ever, 'cause they are friends.18: favorite color? plum purple and mauve19: favorite beverage? diet dr pepper with cherry20: favorite holiday? new years because every year i watch (bad) anime over at one of my best friends house 21: relationship status? who knows tbh22: last text you've sent? "gotta say, im intrigued to see what you could come up with"23: last text you've received? "as am i"24: last person you told you loved? my mother when she came in to say good night25: last time you felt jealous, and why? probably like an hour ago cause i was looking at selfies of people with nice skin26: are you insecure about anything? my skin, my nose, and my weirdly shapen hips27: where do you want to be right now? 27: where do you want to be right now? playing d&d but alas....28: what are some habits of yours? i bite my nails hardcore, talk really fast when i get excited or nervous, forget to shut cabinets, chew straws, and bite hard candies because i have no self-control29: three turn ons? umm, hm. either sitting in someones lap or having someone sit in mine, nEcK BiTiNG, and when someone wearing plaid or a button up shirt rolls up their sleeves.....30: three turn offs? generally immaturity. if someone - even in a jokin manner - calls me a bitch (especially if its a guy sayin it) not cool not funny please stop talking to me. whEn people can't hold a conversation to save their life (like i might be bad at it but at least i am Tryin, ya feel?)31: do you have kik, skype, or any other social media? i do32: pet peeves? wHen people with a runny nose sniff really loudly and make gross sounds. also when people use their hands or just don't cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough33: what're you wearing? my pjs. why? what r u wearing bbby?34: career goals? medical examiner in the forensic field or someone that travels a lot35: are you a student? yep, in high school36: what country do you live in? america37: do you have any pets? a labradoodle named patrick and a schnauzer named max38: tattoos you have/want? oh boy, that would be its own post. i honestly want quite a few, all in black and white and generally for the Aesthetic39: piercings you have/want? i have regularly lobe piercings and a double helix in my left ear40: morning or night? night41: guilty pleasure band? ninja sex party42: guilty pleasure song? samurai abstinence part by ninja sex party...43: top 5 favorite memes? tag yourself memes ; Gun ; the firefly 'you would not believe you (blank)' one ; maybe the real friends.... ; and those strange animal pictures with Russian captions44: one band you don't get the hype for? i don't know how much hype she has now but i don't really enjoy halsey all that much45: one band you wish more people knew about? rinGLEFINCH46: do you practice any religion? not currently47: do you believe in any form of a God? i believe that there is a God, possibly many, but i cannot say that i believe any doctrine of god is correct48: what do you think happens after we die? i like the idea of reincarnation49: have you ever done alcohol or drugs? i haven't done anything but drugs i have been given by a Doctor and i drank alcohol before....with my parents permission50: what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? not actually dying when i was born 51: what's the best thing that's ever happened to you? not dying when i was born?52: have you ever had a near death experience? my heart stopped beating when i was a baby, so yeah53: is there someone you can tell anything to? myself....?54: what's the most amount of notes you've ever gotten on a post, and what was the post? it was a fallout meme i made and it got like 200 notes i think (maybe the real shaun was the friends we made along the way)55: are you right or left handed? right handed56: Would you be in a relationship (platonic or otherwise) with the last person you texted? If it's a family member, the last person you aren't related to. we are friends, so yeah57: who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? the gaggle of gurl and ungendered pals of have are p good listeners58: would you want to change anything about yourself? make me less of an asshole and actually use my good brain to do work59: what's the first thing you notice when meeting someone? how they react to different brands of humor60: have you ever been hurt by someone you trusted? Who? ex-best friend of mine, who outted me to my family when i was like 1061: have you ever hurt yourself? yeppers. middle school was a rough time for me62: do you believe in an afterlife? maybe63: do you believe in ghosts? sure do64: what should you be doing right now? finishing my garbage dotters spell list like I said i would65: are you pissed at anyone right now? not really66: do you believe everyone has a soulmate, platonic or otherwise? i do, or i at least think the idea is nice67: when is the last time you were scared to tell the truth? i ate my brothers skittles on accident and oh boy was that rough, also pawned it off on my dad68: when is the last time you screwed up something important? everyday my guy69: is there anyone you were close with and are not anymore? there are two that come to mind. one is the ex friend i mentioned before and the other is my actual ex.70: what's the last promise you made? i think i was not play a suicide game that is popular in texas right now? my mom made me promise not to do it cause she's paranoid and honestly i hadn't even heard about it until she brought it up. 71: what's your outlook on life? we are all on a rock floating through space at thousands of miles per hour72: have you ever loved someone who didn't return your feelings? oh boy howdy yes. 73: if you could change your eye color, what would it be? a shade of hazel-green so i look even more ginger74: Are you dating the last person you talked to? nope, i don't believe me and @neoxnocturne are dating. unless we are and he never sent the email confirmation for it, if that's the case then i need the tax report on my desk by monday (short version: just a pal)75: does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yeah, me and my gay squad do it every time we are together tbh76: do you think someone has feelings for you? yep77: has anyone ever told you they never wanted to lose you? a few come to mind78: do you replay things that have happened in your head? all the time79: have you ever felt replaced? every day if i am being honest80: last person you cried in front of? my mother, about my Ex81: if your ex asked to date you again, would you? um. maybe. i honesty don't know. 82: if you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral? no mercy by the living tombstoNe83: would you ever be in a long distance relationship? have been in one before, so maybe.84: what can make you upset easily? when people refuse to listen 85: do you have a good relationship with your father? depends on the day86: do you have a good relationship with your mother? i like to think so, she's probably who i am closest to87: do you have a good relationship with your siblings? nope88: have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? yeah89: are your parents divorced? no, but i think if they had less kids they would be90: what do/did people say about you in school? im the jokester that goes hard in arguments91: what do/did you say about people in school? depends on the person?92: is any mental or physical illness hindering your life? adhd since i was little, general anxiety, depression, and the potential to further develope bipolarism 93: have you ever had to end a friendship or relationship? why? yeah cause shit happened94: are there things you wanted in your childhood but didn't get? a horse and to learn to ride horses95: have you ever kept a journal? i tried when i was little but also bought a new journal and started a new one so they never got far96: do you believe that birthmarks are scars from past lives? sure, i can get behind that97: if so, do you believe there is a story behind your birthmarks? dont have any98: do you look after yourself? not in the slightest99: do you put yourself or others first? i am a selfish kid who happens to care about select people. i tend to put others first more than i think i should, which is already not a lot.100: Ask your own question! No thanks.

[terresdebrumestories]

Chapter 9/24: Shatter

✗ TECHNICAL DETAILS

FANDOM: Marvel’s MCU SERIES: SEADLA Verse, version 2.0 RATING: Mature WORDCOUNT: 3 822 PAIRING(S): - CHARACTER(S): Tony Stark, Loki, Anansi, Coyote, Nick Fury, Tony’s therapist and the rest of the avengers in the background. GENRE: Breaking points. TRIGGER WARNING(S): Mentions of suicide and generally low self esteem (Check the AO3 listing for a glimpse of what’s to come). SUMMARY: In which Tony should probably have watched his mouth, but then it would only have delayed the unavoidable.

DEDICATION(S): As always, to the first version’s readers, to the people who leave comments on the fic three years after its last update, and to 2012!me, who needed to write this fic a lot.

SEADLA ON TUMBLR: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8]

“I’m not sure what to do about my friend,” Tony admits almost before he sits down for his first session after the Big Bang.

 It’s a bit of a liberation to say it—allows him to release tension he’s been trying hard not to think about for the past week.

The thing is, this thing with Lorna—it’s starting to feel very date-like. Tony tried to think about it from another angle, told himself this is a normal friendly thing to do—going on outings, giving each other support and weird gifts and spending who knows how much energy in magic just so you can see the beginning of life together. But, well. It didn’t work.

And the thing is, even if Tony manages to get his own brain under control—even if he’s just being confused over nothing and he really isn’t interested in being anything more than friends with Lorna, who’s to say she feels the same? It’s not that Tony really think he’s irresistible, but Lorna is a complicated person and she’s proven she could go for the most unexpected moves already, what if, for some reason, she starts feeling different about Tony?

 “In what way?” Maybe-Kevin asks, and Tony groans.

 Before he went to therapy—before he thought he’d ever need it, before he really believed in it—if you’d asked him how it worked, he’d have expected the patient to be this pathetic, permanent mess always on the verge of collapsing in tears. He’s learned better since then—although he’d be lying if he said he’s happy about the knowledge—and while the emotional mess part of things is familiar to him by now, it’s not exactly an accurate reflection of his existence.

When he started thinking about this—when Pepper put her foot down and forced him to get some kind of help—he sort of expected whoever would be in charge of his case, he more or less would be attending a class. He’d sit in an impersonal office and be expected to be quiet while some schmuck told him how to deal with his life, his problems, his emotions.

He loathed the idea, of course.

 As it turns out, though, the actual practice of therapy is both a lot less frustrating and a lot more so. He’s not expected to sit down and let people do what needs to be done here—it’s a relief, really. After years and years of following Stain’s instructions only to discover the guy wanted him dead in the end, after years of waiting for Pepper’s instructions to decide on anything—whether he followed them or not—it’s nice to have a space where the expectations he has to meet are kept to a minimum.

On the other hand, now he’s got to figure things out for himself, without guideline or instruction manual and, much like inventing a whole new world of robotics or creating a new chemical element, it’s grueling, hard, occasionally mind-numbingly dull work. Who knew being your own person—knowing what you want, what you need, what you’re going to do, and whether and how these three things overlaps—took so much effort?

 “I...kind of wanted to kiss them last week.”

 Only for a moment, a simple impulse easily contained to that one second between the moment Tony said goodbye and the moment Lorna turned away and left in a flash of green light. It was still there, though, and Tony hasn’t been able to think of anything else for most of the week.

 “Okay,” maybe-Gavin says with a nod that doesn’t completely conceal his surprise, “and how do you feel about that?”

 In all honesty, Tony was kind of hoping he’d get his answer here—he can probably figure things out himself, but it would be nice, sometimes, not to have to do so much soul-searching to get it. It’s probably what normal feels like. ‘Normal’, for better or for worse, has never really been him, though, so Tony sighs and tries to sort his own thoughts out before they tumble out of him.

The thing is, he does better with clear lines. His relationship to Pepper was—is—a constant stream of what-are-we-s, where do we stand with each other, where do we want to go, what do we want to do. Every day came with its lot of surprises and Tony liked it that way—loathes the idea of routine with a fiery passion—but underneath it all, the whims and caprices and fights and abrupt changes, there was always this certitude that Pepper was there for Tony and would continue to be there, just like he’s firmly decided to always be there for her, sloppy as the results may be.

 Lorna isn’t even Lorna all the time. She’s a woman and then a man and she could probably be someone in between if she wanted. She’s there for Tony, but sometimes she isn’t and she doesn’t sound concerned about it—she gets him and she’s helping him through one of the roughest patches of his life in a way no one else manages despite their best effort, but when Tony talks about the other things he does—his projects for Stark Enterprise, the latest progresses in robotics, the occasional reports on charity work—Lorna’s interest turns from earnest to polite, like she couldn’t be less concerned about the work of Tony’s life.

There’s no labels with Lorna, and that’s liberating—that means Tony doesn’t have to conform to the expectations that come with them—but then there’s also no certitude with her, and that is surprisingly terrifying.

 “I don’t know,” Tony says at last, figuring the answer to his therapist’s question as he talks, “I—we haven’t really defined our relationship at all. I don’t even know if they think we’re friends or...I don’t know. And I mean, it’s great that we’re...flexible, I suppose? But it also means I don’t know where the limits are. I don’t know if I’d be jeopardizing something if I indulged in the impulse or—or even just talked about it.”

 He thinks there’s a friendship to lose there. Hopes there is. But there’s no telling, really, and Tony wishes—not for the first time—people could be as simple as machines.

Machines—robots, even Jarvis—they don’t ask for more than you can give. They don’t give you the disappointed puppy face Tony has seen on Steve far too many times, don’t sigh in despair and worry like Rhodey has from the very beginning of his relationship with Tony, and they certainly don’t splutter the way Pepper does when she’s too flabbergasted for words.

(Machines have never pushed Tony away without looking at him, sighing about being busy and for the butler to remove the nuisance in the same breath.)

 “So,” maybe-Rodin starts, carefully filling the silence that follows Tony’s words, “am I correct in understanding that you’re frightened at the idea of losing that friend, should you try to redefine your relationship?”

“Yeah,” Tony mumbles, studiously avoiding the therapist’s eyes, “something like that. I just don’t want to mess up.”

 Tony has a grand total of seven friends—four he created himself, two of the most long-sufferingly loyal people on earth, one who’s been a central point of Tony’s daddy issues since long before they met, and another who mostly started talking to him because Tony reminded him of his brother.

Plus, of course, said brother—sister, sibling, whichever Tony is supposed to use—who is a great support but may or may not be a friend in the end.

Excepting the four non-biological ones, they’ve all gotten more trouble than anything else out of their acquaintance with Tony—it’s a miracle they haven’t left already, one he’s keenly aware of. What happens if Tony messes things up with Lorna, babbles about it to the wrong person—or one too many times, or in the wrong way—and throws things in jeopardy there as well?

 “I just wish Loki wasn’t such a complicated person,” Tony sighs, “or that I was better at dealing with it, I don’t know.”

 Truth be told, it’d be nice if Tony were a nicer, worthier person to be acquainted with—he wouldn’t be worried about Pepper deciding this...thing...with Loki is the final straw, or about Thor refusing to talk to him over some kind of backward standard he may or may not have. If he were a better person, he wouldn’t have to be worried about ending up alone again, stranded in his life the way he was at MIT, except this time there would be no Rhodey to take pity on him and rescue him from his own foolishness—no Pepper, no Thor, not even Fury to pick him up and help him sort through his own mess.

Then again, if he were a better person, maybe Tony wouldn’t have to deal with that kind of problems to begin with—would deal with his own mess instead of imposing them on his friends. Maybe it wouldn’t be enough to keep them around, but at least he wouldn’t be gambling with his life—his place with the Avengers, his place in society at large, everything he’s ever created—for someone as volatile as Loki.

 “Shit,” he admits, the word ringing loud after the too-long silence, “I don’t know what to do about this.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know!” Tony repeats, because that’s not for lack of trying to think about this rationally. “I don’t want people to be mad at me—not that friend, not my other friends—and I don’t want to ruin anything and I just—I don’t know. I have no fucking clue what I want to do. I just want things to be simple.”

“That’s understandable,” maybe-Bradin replies with a tense little smile, shoulders oddly stiff for a phrase he’s probably heard ten thousands of times before, “but I’m sure I’m not teaching you anything when I say that interpersonal relationships are never simple.”

“I’d settle for not disappointing anyone,” Tony mutters as he buries his face in his hands.

“Alright. Who is it you think you may disappoint?”

 Well, that’s the million dollars question, isn’t it?

It could be Howard—both experience and therapy have proven Tony isn’t quite done trying to organize his life according to his father’s wishes—or supposed wishes—though he does the opposite of that as often as he respects his father’s legacy, if not more so. It got quite apparent in his relationship with Pepper, too. Tony loved her—still does, even—of course. He’s an ass, but he’s not that far gone, thank heaven.

Dating her, though, would have been the perfect mix of satisfying his father—she’s smart, charming, charismatic, sensible—and making him despair—she is, after all, from a lower class family. No, it wasn’t Tony’s primary motivation which, let’s not lie, was a relief to confirm a few sessions back, but that doesn’t mean he never thought about it—or hated himself for thinking about it—even while they were dating.

 That’s not what’s happening with Lorna, though, at least Tony doesn’t think so. With Pepper, there was always a dimension of need in their relationship, on his side more than hers. Again, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her, but it does mean Tony made decisions he probably shouldn’t have made—decisions that were definitely not fair to her.

With Lorna, for better or for worse, Howard Stark doesn’t compute—might as well not have existed at all, really. Going out with her, whether their outings are dates or not, or if they’re something in between, is actually more of a pickle in relation to the other Avengers—what would they think, after all, if they learned Tony has been spending time with their most recurring foe? They wouldn’t understand—would they even try to understand what this means to him? He’s not sure, and quite frankly he doesn’t want to risk it.

 Part of him—a tiny, shivering part of him that doesn’t quite dare push the words out of his mouth—wonders, though, if maybe this time he’s mostly afraid of to disappoint himself.

 {ooo}

 He comes out of the consultation without a clear idea—or even a fuzzy one—of how he wants to handle the Lorna situation, but he does feel lighter and half-resolved to just wait and see.

He pushes his concerns at the back of his mind—not that different from what he does in ordinary situations,although this time he has to make a conscious effort for it instead of just assuming fate, in the form of Pepper and (or) Rhodey will take care of it.

 Of course, the downside is if—when?—he fails, he’ll have no choice but to shoulder the blame for it but, he supposes, you can’t have everything.

 He finds Lorna waiting for him on the sidewalk, messy braids tumbling over a small, three-quarters vest in gold cotton and a shiny green dress that sways in the gentle breeze. Tony’s lips curl into a smile when he notices a black feather hanging from her hair, and he compliments her for it before he asks:

 “What are we doing today?”

“Culinary experience,” Lorna replies, the tip of her hair brushing past her shoulder blades when she turns around without waiting to see if Tony follows.

 He doesn’t particularly mind, and simply smiles when they teleport into a cramped space between two white stone walls blackened by time. Lorna must have messed with some kind of timeline, too, because it’s already dusk when they step out into a larget street and all but stumble on the Eiffel Tower, scintillating with white lights.

 “Is today a holiday?” Tony asks, but Lorna shakes her head.

“It’s an hourly thing. I can’t always take you to the most spectacular times.”

 Tony thinks of absolute silence and light coursing through his body and nods, even as he follows Lorna toward the tower. They bypass a host of tourists milling around the neatly-trimmed grass, trees planted in a straight line on either sides, and fall in line for the elvators.

It’s a pity, really, that today isn’t a holiday—Tony liked the idea, for one, and besides he feels like doing something festive with Lorna just now. He’s not sure what, or why, exactly—just that he’s in a good mood and a little giddy and, well. He might as well enjoy it.

 Together, they wait their turn before they can climb up to the second floor and the restaurant there, called La Tour D’Argent. It’s posh, with an old-money feeling that Tony doesn’t see all that often, used as he is to the newest, shiniest establishments he can find. The view, perched above the Seine and the city lights coming to life, is nice though, and Tony is pleased when Lorna steers him to a table by the window.

Two men are already seated. One, clearly of Native American descent, gives a wolfish smile to the waitress, ocher skin stretching to bare sharp white teeth and a hint of gum as he readjusts the a leather vest on the back of his chair, hair as black as his eyes carefully braided at the back of his neck. Across him, cheekbones just as high but skin the darkest shade of black Tony has ever seen, the other man stretches in a blood-red suit, golden-red eyes shining under the scarification marks standing above his eyebrows. His hair, short cropped, curls tight above his skull, and when he smiles it looks almost too wide for his face.

Tony looks at the men as they bicker, apparently busy comparing a heavy silver ring and what looks like a fang on a leather cord, as if the two pieces of jewelry were even truly comparable.

 Tony frowns as he and Lorna approach their table, something about the way red suit’s fingers move, a little too shaky—a little too fast—tickling at the edge of his brain, until the long-haired man turns his wolfish grin to him.

 “Ah,” he says with a look of intense satisfaction, “if this isn’t my favorite atheist in the world!”

“Oh,” Tony realizes, sharp and a little embarrassed at the lateness, “Coyote? Anansi?”

“In the flesh,” Anansi says as he takes a cocktail from their waitress, “you don’t look very different from what I remember.”

 Tony frowns at Anansi’s brief hesitation, until it occurs to him that, while they first met two weeks ago as far as he’s concerned, both gods probably took the long way back—or forward?—to the here and know. If anything, he should probably be flattered to be remembered for that long, even if he can’t help but wonder if there was anything beside his atheism that secured his spot in the others’ memories.

He doesn’t let himself dwell on the question too much—doesn’t want to open the can of worm wriggling under the desire to know what the two gods think of him—and tries to keep his expression pleasantly neutral as he sits down. At least now he knows tonight is definitely not a date, and can act accordingly. It’s easier, at least.

 “Neither do you,” Lorna replies when Tony is a little too long to answer, “but then we didn’t exactly come here to compare wrinkles, did we?”

 “Of course not,” Anansi agrees, “but it’s fun to tease.”

 Lorna smiles, something dagger-sharp and flashing like a jewel, and Tony tries very hard not to think of the stories he heard of Norse Gods drinking mead from human skulls.

 {ooo}

 “We needed the faith that came with it,” Lorna finishes with a shrug, “that doesn’t mean we always enjoyed it.”

 Somehow, despite Tony’s best effort to pretend there’s nothing odd about his current company—or nothing odder than usual, at least—the conversation derived from where the four of them traveled to when, and then it somehow took a dive for the frankly theological, leading tony to learn more about human sacrifices  than he ever thought he’d know.

 “Are you kidding me?” He asks, incredulous, “You’ve got the power to create entire worlds and destroy them in the blink of an eye, and you’re trying to tell me you couldn’t refuse human sacrifices?”

“And who,” Coyote asks with an edge to his voice, “do you think created us?”

 They’ve left the restaurant by now, wandering the city streets without aim, occasionally pausing to look at an interesting building or a fountain...or, in this case, for Tony to stare at Coyote like he’s just grown a second head.

 “Who did what now?”

“Create us,” Anansi repeats with a loose shrug, posture far too relaxed for the bombshell he just released.

“I...I have no idea,” Tony admits.

 He has, he realizes, just sort of assumed the Gods appeared one day, fully formed and potent. Who was there to create them if they created the world, after all?

 “Humans did,” Lorna says.

 Something brief and tight-looking flickers across Coyote and Anansi’s faces, like revealing a secret one is slightly embarrassed by...or afraid of, maybe.

 “Human faith created us,” Lorna continues, “it shaped us. The stronger the faith, the harder it is to resist its pull—to defy its expectations. We were created in your image—we feel things the same way humans do, but at the same time—well. We do have to conform to what you are expecting to see.”

“That means,” Anansi continues when Tony fails to come up with a properly understanding expression, “that if the majority of our followers think we gain power from human sacrifices, we can’t just decide to get it from smoked pepperonis instead.”

“Oh.”

 There isn’t much more to say—not much more to express the surprise and disbelief—in response to that, and Tony is about to leave things at that when he remembers a conversation not so long ago—a story of Asgard, and how it used to be.

 “That’s what you meant when you talked about taking your freedom, right? You meant when people stopped believing in you.”

“Yeah,” Coyote agrees with a painful-sounding yawn, “now we can live our lies more or less as we want, so long as you remember us. If you forgot we’d be toast, but in the meantime, well. We can change things.”

 Tony watches Lorna’s face shift through sadness, fear, relief and a warm sort of determination as Coyote speaks, eyes rimmed with a thin line of tears.

He hasn’t studied any text about Thor or any other Asgard resident—didn’t have any interest for it before, and figured he’d get the intel from the source after he met Thor. As it is, he’s got no idea what’s in store for them—how much of what he heard is in keeping with sacred texts and how much is brand new, but it doesn’t really matter.

He knows what it’s like to feel like your entire life has been scripted out for you.

On instinct, Tony loops an arm around Lorna’s shoulder and pulls her closer to him, Coyote and Anansi chuckling when it only serves to highlight their height difference in a way that, Tony can admit, probably wouldn’t look very flattering for him on a magazine cover. It’s a good thing that’s not his main concern right now.

 He lets Lorna bend to rest her head on his shoulder, presses her closer to him, and is surprised to feel Coyote and Anansi join the improvised hug pile after a few seconds. The whole thing is a little too warm for the weather and stains his armpits with sweat, but if this is the price to pay for that kind of comfort, well.

Surprised as he is, he’s still ready to pay it.

 {ooo}

 Tony is practically singing when he reaches the tower—hums through his elevator ride and all but bursts into the room as soon as the doors open to let him out. Even Thor’s absence—after he left with the shortest note about family matters on Tuesday—doesn’t bother him, that’s how good his mood is. He whistles his way through the corridors, half-ready to dance in celebration of whoever knows what, until he steps in the kitchen.

 The whole team—minus Thor—has gathered there with somber faces and solemnly squared shoulders. That, in itself, would be enough to set Tony on edge—is more than enough to raise the hair at the back of his neck—and Fury’s presence stabs at his nerves like a chainsaw on metal.

His stomach doesn’t entirely drop until he realizes Bradin-Kevin-Gavin is all but hiding in the corner, bouncing on the balls of his feet with jittery movements. That’s when panic settles in.

 “So,” Fury says, arms crossed over his chest, “I hear you have a thing going with Loki.”

[letsstrawhatluffys-blog]

How strong are the Straw Hat Pirates? Despite having a small number of members, the Straw Hats are a very powerful crew. Their captain has continuously defeated people who are renowned for their incredible strength such as Crocodile, Gekko Moriahand Donquixote Doflamingo of the Shichibukai,[7][8][9] the highly feared tyrant Enel from Skypiea,[10] and the infamous Rob Lucci of the CP9.[11] The crew itself has done things which most would think impossible and completely insane like defeating an entire organization (such as Baroque Works,[2] CP9[12] and the Donquixote Pirates[13]), punching a World Noble and breaking in and out of the judicial island, Enies Lobby. In fact, after the incident that occurred at Enies Lobby, the World Government has labeled them as a very dangerous crew since their actions endangered the balance of the Three Great Powers. All of them have at least one talent at which they are virtually perfect at and each member is, more or less, a formidable if not downright fearsome fighter in their own right. While all of them have amazing strength in one way or another, three of them, the captain, the swordsman, and the chef, have such astonishingly inhuman strength that the rest of the crew have dubbed them the "Monster Trio". “ On our journey across the islands, all of us became stronger without even noticing. ” — Part of Zoro's speech to Nami and Chopper about Usopp

Each member in the beginning has some fairly high fighting abilities, but as they progress, each member has had to become stronger due to each opponent they encounter either being significantly stronger than the last or having required them to develop new skills or techniques to combat new opponents. Two of the Straw Hats greatest attributes are their charisma and unpredictability. With their extremely friendly personalities, they manage to make all the right friends in all the right places, which eventually accomplishes their goals (though it was never their original intention). These friends and allies have proven to be useful depending on the location or objective, and thus the Straw Hats seem to have no regrets fighting for their sakes given the circumstances, and vice versa. Due to this, and the Straw Hats reputation and impressive bounties, there are many laymen who believe the crew is made up of hundreds, if not thousands of members. They also tend to act upon their emotions, throwing normal logic out of order. By using the freedom granted by their status as pirates, they tend to act erratically, either helping people, or picking a fight, simply because it is something they wish to do. Both these attributes have been shown to destroy the carefully laid plans of criminal masterminds with large influential organizations, which took them years to cultivate, like those of the three former Shichibukai (Crocodile, Gekko Moriah and Donquixote Doflamingo), as well as the former 'God' of Skypiea, Enel. Overall, their most unique strength is the fact that the Straw Hat crew, on many occasions, are extremely lucky, being able to achieve many things that would be considered impossible feats. This includes various wild escapes from Marine captures and ambushes; confronting, defeating and escaping Shichibukai and World Governmentled organizations with no casualties; managing to reach Skypiea via the Knock-Up Stream without losing anybody while simultaneously escaping the Blackbeard Pirates, and escaping the flagship of a Yonko while badly damaging it in the process. In fact, some of these lucky accomplishments are considered miraculous in hindsight. “ I'll do whatever you cannot do. And you do whatever I cannot do!!! ” — Part of Sanji's speech to Usopp

While each member can hold their own by themselves, what makes the Straw Hats truly strong is their teamwork, which has become more important as the series has progressed. When one of them is incapable of doing a task, another can help out in their place instead. This helps the crew very much in facing odds that may be too much for them if they work separately. When at sea, the Straw Hats tend to be relaxed, playing with each other, training, reading or whatever else they may do to occupy themselves. They can maintain this attitude even in the unstable waters of Paradise, New World or even in their descent down to (and ascent from) Fishman Island. However, whenever a crisis pops up, like storms, tidal waves, large sea life or falling ships, the crew instantly snap out of their relaxed state and swing into action. They all seem to know their place and will do what they should in the circumstances. Most of the time though, they tend to sail at a casual pace, without rushing. After the two year time skip, even though they have been dormant for some time, the Straw Hats are talked amongst pirates on a legendary level. Even Sentomaru casually comments that pirates are not like what they used to be. He calls the impostors of the Straw Hats a wasteful trash when Demaro Black boasts of his lineage in front of him, prompting Sentomaru to take him down with a single blow of his axe, and then saying that the real Monkey D. Luffy would never have done so. The crew has gained legendary status since they first set sail, on par with all the other major crews of the world, even the Blackbeard Pirates. They are currently the only known pirate crew to openly wage war against the World Government and have practically gotten away with it. It still stands that they are the only pirate crew to have escaped from every branch of law enforcement that the government could throw at them; the Shichibukai, Cipher Pol, Impel Down, and Marineford have all failed in their attempts to hold down the crew (with the captain penetrating and escaping from the latter twice by himself). Perhaps as a testament to their strength, they are the only known crew where every single member has a bounty on their head. When news of them resurfaced, the entire Marine organization was thrown into a frenzy to stamp out their revival whilst the rest of the pirates cheered on. It is possible that their fame had led many to join the ranks of piracy, for when the fake Straw Hats started recruiting pirates, many flocked to join up, and were also greatly shocked when the "Monster Trio" gave a show of a small fraction of their power. Chapter 628 The Straw Hats' new fighting styles after two years of training. By the end of their two-year long training, it could be presumed that the Straw Hats have grown exponentially in individual power, as some of them took their self-imposed training under the tutelage of prominent figures of the sea like Silvers Rayleigh, Dracule Mihawk, Emporio Ivankov, and Monkey D. Dragon. Each member of the Monster Trio (Luffy, Zoro and Sanji) have shown to be able to defeat a Pacifista in a single attack, whereas it took the combined efforts of the entire crew to barely beat one before. Luffy easily destroyed a Pacifista with a single Haki-embedded Jet Pistol[14] as well as Zoro and Sanji, the latter using his Diable Jambe, both dealt crippling blows to a Pacifista with raw strength. Zoro and Sanji each used attacks that likely would have been sufficient to destroy the Pacifista on their own, had they not been trying to outdo each other. Another example of the Monster Trio's strength is that they were able to defeat a sea monster such as the Kraken (a creature several times larger than the Thousand Sunny itself) without much of an effort underwater, where all their strength is greatly decreased. Afterwards Zoro, Nami, Usopp, and Brook defeat all the troops stationed in the Ryugu Palace with ease. The crew also easily took out the 100,000 lower members of the New Fishman Pirates which consisted of about 70,000 fishmen and 30,000 humans with Luffy alone taking out about 50,000 people with a single burst of Haoshoku Haki. In addition to their strength, the Straw Hat Pirates have entered into an official alliance with Trafalgar Law and his Heart Pirates with the goal of defeating Kaido. The Straw Hats have also established unofficial, and temporary alliances with other pirates, non-pirates, and sometimes Marines and royalty when fighting against powerful enemies, but they gain a permanent friendship with their allies when they came to their aid and support them on several occasions whenever they cross paths. Even the supposedly weaker members, Nami and Usopp, became strong enough to take down the fighters of the Donquixote Pirates; (who are both Devil Fruit Users) Buffalo and Baby 5, all by themselves. Following the battle with the Donquixote Pirates, the Straw Hats' allies who participated in the battle organized themselves into seven divisions and formed the Straw Hat Grand Fleet which numbered a total of 5640 members, giving the Straw Hats significantly larger amounts of manpower similar to the Whitebeard Pirates.