#7yearson
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a-piece-of-the-puzzle · 6 years ago
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Writing again
I started writing last night, I was starting a letter like I used to. Everything open honesty everything spilled out, but now I have no way to reach you, but I saw it
"I loved you and you left me. You don't get to drag me up from your memory everytime you want someone to feel sorry for you. I would have married you I would have had kids with you like you said you wanted but you never gave me that chance. I loved you so fucking much and you didn't even stick around to stay freinds. So don't guilt trip me for moving on."
I saw that and theres so many things I need to say, I wish I ignored everyone and rang you, I’d rather the passion that I had than the silence, the crying, you to scream at me, anything, anything but what I’ve subjected myself to.
Do I write it regardless? I always thought you used to burn my letters but you told me you kept them. I wrote weekly for a year and you kept every one.
Would your mother see? She’d keep you away from me.
Would you cut the head from every flower if I sent them.
If I sat at the end of your road would you come, or would I make it worse like I always did, I never made a right move did I
Even now I’m making it harder, for you and for me.
Theres no one in the entire bloody world like you
No matter how fucking bad it got, from the new years you screamed how much you wanted you wanted to kill yourself, where you rang in front of the cars, you tried to run into the sea to drown, where you threw up on yourself, to the halloween party to thew so many laxatives and weightloss pills down your thoat and made yourself thow up over and over and told me how much you thought about the bleach, to the days where the black figure clouded everything you did. I fucking loved all of it, the bonfires to curb the days to rang me wanting to burn the house down sitting by the curtain flame alight, to the glass bottles I saved and stole so you could smash them all, to waking up in bed to you cutting yourself beside me, I fucking loved you through all of it, 
and I’m sorry
I’m sorry I let you down
I’m sorry I couldn’t help make you better
I’m sorry I couldnt come with you to uni
I’m sorry I got jellous when you got with someone else, 
I’m sorry I couldn’t stop you sleeping with all those ment to try and feel the void where love should be and not pain and anger
I’m sorry I pushed you away too
And I’m sorry when things got hard for me I cut the people out who mattered the most, so, that meant you
I left myself with no one back then, no one but me
and I’m sorry if you felt rejected and alone
but you fucking know every letter I wrote you, that every single fucking day I’ve thought about you since we dated back in 2013, but you never wanted me back, and you never wanted my friendship more than once a month or two, you just didnt seem to care anymore but jesus christ you never could see that I was hurting too, that I always will be, weather we speak for the rest of our lives or not.
Ever person I’ve ever loved I will never be over you, and you were the first, the hardest, but the one I knew the most, so that will always hurt the most.
I feel if I move on and let you go that I loose you and I loose all the good memories too and I can’t do that. I will love again but there will always be a space and a mark made by you.
Like there will always be one Bryony made
There will always be one Marta made
but we’re human we will always love again
We went through so fucking much, 
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kerrybutanie · 9 years ago
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My 💜 #equine #equestrian #7yearson #sectiond #instahorse #instalike #instadaily
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bookish-blooms · 9 years ago
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7 years today since the most destructive bushfires I've ever seen. Some many families lost everything they owned, some even lost their loved ones. The Firefighters that came from across the nation and even across the seas, even though I was directly affected by this firestorm I will never be able to show how grateful I am for those firefighters. With out them who know what could have happened. #blacksaturday #blacksaturdaybushfire #7yearson #thankyoufirefighters
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moodswingsinthisorder · 10 years ago
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If(s), But(s) or Maybe(s), you left.
"I've always told myself, If I could touch you for one last time If I could feel you for one last time If I could smell your scent for one last time If I could kiss you for one last time If I could just see your face, one last timeMaybe if I told you to stay, you would
Maybe if I told you how much you mean to me, you'd feel the same Maybe if I told you I want to try even if we'd end up separating Maybe if I told you I can't promise a lifetime but to simply try to fight for what feels so right and wrong, you'd take that risk too
But you left
And these If(s), But(s) or Maybe(s) Won't ever bring you back into my life cause you left, with no trace of coming back
It's crazy how little time we've spent together meant the most to me, at least But the world is against us, then and now
So, at this moment, I vow, to keep you buried No matter how much I cried, you won't come back No matter how much I longed for you, you won't come back No matter how much I thought we'd at least fight for a lifetime, you won't come back
It's time to let you go I will break, indefinitely I am breaking With the will of facing a brighter light And the belief that something's better laid out 
I'm letting you go, for the second time And I hope we won't meet again For I do not have the strength To mend these wounds For a third..."
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moodswingsinthisorder · 10 years ago
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"Waking up to reality and still trying to understand what was... Maybe he was sent as a reminder, Maybe he was sent for other reasons but at that one moment, I was genuinely happy, 7 years on. I'm scared for no apparent reason but I'm glad you were healthy, alive and (may) be that same person I knew but in a more mature way. Just glad I was able to finally tell you everything. It took me 7 years. It took us 7 years. It took fate 7 years. It took god 7 years. All thanks to my boss who told me to go out to the pitch during last night's half-time and the rest as they say, was history. xx" #MyLifeRightOutofAMeloDrama #7YearsOn #thankyou #missingyou
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