The thing that gets me about the clip is that Buck is in the back with Chris and Eddie, the one person who sees, loves, and understands Buck in ways no one else can and that the latter hopes he receives from a significant other.
All the while, Tommy is talking about and treating Buck, and by extension, their "relationship" like some sort of joke.
Warning: this post will discuss mental health and trauma.
Today is World Mental Health Day and until December 2019 I had been fortunate enough to have never had any struggles with mine. But then I did and I am not exaggerating when I say it shook me to my core. Following a traumatic event I was hit hard with anxiety, insomnia, fear, rumination and a constant feeling of impending danger. My home was no longer a place where I felt safe and I ended up working extra hours just to be out of the house. I couldn't eat as I always felt nauseous and I very quickly became a person that others didn't recognise.
I was always the one who helped and supported others in my friendship group so my friends didn't really know how to deal with that person being the one needing help and support. They were worried about me but just weren't sure how to help. So we sat and we talked, a lot, and they listened to my fears and worries and they helped me start to organise the thoughts in my head. One friend suggested that part of my healing may come from helping put the scum who had caused the fear behind bars. But in order to do that I needed to be in a better place. Something clicked in my head and I got in touch with my GP (who was amazing) and got the help I needed. It wasn't easy, it took time for me to feel the benefit of the medication, it definitely got worse before it got better but it did slowly get better. It was bloody hard work and there were days when I was so scared I was never going to get better and that how I was at that time was how I would be forever. But as time went by I felt the old me slowly coming back.
Nearly all of this was happening during COVID-19 a time when we were all forced to be at home, when I couldn't work to escape my house. Nothing like some forced desensitisation to help with healing! One positive to come from it being during this time is that my daughter was home from Uni so I wasn't at home alone and she was an absolute god send and helped me more than she will ever know.
A year later the case finally went to court after many COVID 19 influenced delays and I was in a place where I could give my evidence and give it well. It was terrifying and it's a blur but the next day all three defendants changed their plea and were sentenced to a joint total of 33 years.
This is when the real healing started as I knew they were gone for a long time and I was safe.
Now whilst my daughter was home she introduced me to a group called BTS, you may have heard of them 😁. These 7 men have been a significant part of my healing and they will never know how they brought light, laughter, happy tears and song to some very dark days. They also bought some sad tears but they were cathartic sad tears, We are Bulletproof: the eternal, Zero O'Clock and Magic Shop were three of my favourites to have a healing cry too.
My fight with my mental health continues and it has reared its ugly head again following my recent diagnosis of a chronic condition. But on the whole I am winning with the help of some amazing friends both near and far. There are some very special people on here that I speak to regularly about Jikook and life in general and I want to thank them from the bottom of my heart for listening to me. I am always here to return the kindness 💜💜
it’s funny when people are like “omggg no i can’t go back to my ______ phase” and it’s like you guys left it ??? it wasn’t just laying dormant ready to pounce at you at any given minute ????